The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - soup a bowl

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.com. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! Oh, hello and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan being recorded deep into overtime.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Here at the kitchen table. I've just come back from a it. I'm not happy with the way I said that. But there's no time for editing at the moment because I'm deep into overtime, having been to a Super Bowl party and having had a very, very, very busy week. It's so good to speak with you once again dear listener there's a kieran j callanan interview that's coming out soon that we did that i alluded to on the last week's podcast that i have just been too lazy slash busy slash disgusting to edit up and release i recommend going and listening to the album it's wonderful it has some of my favourite ever Kieran J. Kellanen songs on it If I could sing by Kieran J. Kellanen out now
Starting point is 00:01:09 I've come back from a beautiful Super Bowl party I've watched the Super Bowl for many years in America Many years I would You have to get up in Australia to watch it And go to one of the pubs that opens at 10am Last year I watched it at a Well I didn't plan. Last year I watched it at a, well, I didn't plan ahead on when I watched it and I just ended up driving off to a terrible drug money laundering, I think
Starting point is 00:01:34 they call it, front in the western suburbs and sitting alone having a beer and watching it and having just a simply dreadful time. But this year, it was so nice. It was in the evening because I'm now in America, and I was with my family and many other people's families at a co-working space that had been converted into a Super Bowl party headquarters. And I put a bet on the Chiefs to win, and so I've just made $20.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Money will come more in handy than at any other time in my life, I do believe. I don't know why I always watch the Super Bowl. I got into a tradition of doing it nigh on 10 years ago. I don't think I've missed one in about 10 years. And not understanding really very much about American football, but loving the great spectacle, really enjoying the spectacle of the big game,
Starting point is 00:02:32 as everybody calls it here, I think because Super Bowl might be copyrighted. So advertisers will go, come on down and watch the big game. Oh, mercy me. What a disappointing end. I mean, one of the, I'm told one of the great ends to a football game, sure. But I was certain that Kelsey, the tight man, I don't know what his position is. He's not a wide receiver, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe,
Starting point is 00:03:08 Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. CBC News brings the story to you as it happens.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Hundreds of wildfires are burning. Be the first to know what's going on and what that means for you and for Canadians. This situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know. CBC News. Trump told. Maybe he's a tight end. I thought that he would propose to his girlfriend, Taylor Swift,
Starting point is 00:04:10 at the end of the game and thus save Western civilization. I'd never heard him speak before, though. And I know she's an abortionista and he's a Pfizer mascot, but I thought everyone was telling him to do it. It was a beautiful American storybook moment that he could have proposed to her. And then this man at the end, he gets up with a Super Bowl trophy. Everyone's ready for him to propose to Taylor Swift.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And what he does instead is he sings Viva Las Vegas with the crowd and then he does Fight for Your Right to Party, and I thought, oh no, this man is an idiot. This man doesn't understand, or maybe he does understand and is shirking the cultural moment that he's in. Doesn't he understand that it's his job now to make an honest woman of Ms. Swift? But one cannot really care or put one's faith or interest in these things. It just, it all seems so set up and so beautiful. And then he sang, fight for your right to
Starting point is 00:05:13 party. Hello and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. This is James Donald Forbes McCann, the host of this podcast. Again, there's no editing on this one. It's just me talking into a microphone drunk, which is what you usually get on the Patreon. You usually have to subscribe to the Patreon to get me talking for 20-something minutes drunk. But today, you get it for free. You're lucky.
Starting point is 00:05:39 None of that pisky editing getting in the way. Oh, it's been a lot since I've spoken to you last. I spoke about it on the Patreon just a little bit, but it's been ever so much. First thing I should say is thank you to everybody who's been buying the mystery merch. I've been buying mystery merch. I've given out some of, well, I gave out the first piece of mystery merch because I did a show this week in Steubenville. And people came from, I mean, Steubenville is just outside of Pittsburgh I'll give you a little geography lesson and people drove from a place called Zanesville and other
Starting point is 00:06:11 people drove from a place called Columbus home of Keenan Thompson and Matt Rife birthplace of at very least and two and a half hours people drove to come and see me do comedy and then two and a half hours back. I couldn't. I became emotional. And I just sort of booked it as a stuff around show where I could try new material. And the place that booked it did not take my bio and they said it's a beautiful evening of comedy that will leave you smiling for weeks.
Starting point is 00:06:41 So I just had a bunch of new material. And I felt extreme when I asked well where are you from to someone in the audience and someone said Columbus and I thought oh no I know how I would go look I would drive that far to do a show but I didn't expect that an audience member would drive that far and I became afterwards when we went out to the dive bar next door to the Cigar Lounge, where I'd been performing, more women in the audience than have ever been in the Cigar Lounge, Cigar Bounge. I've been on the Budweiser's. It's time to forgive them.
Starting point is 00:07:20 It's time to forgive that company with their big horses, now that they've given my friend Shane a lot of money. I was so moved. And these men from Zanesville, and they told me about their hometown it's a town in which the big story sorry because every time they would people would say to them you know where are you from they'd say zanesville and they'd go oh with the other people with the the zoo thing um and they go yeah so what happened is a few years ago uh there was a man who owned a private zoo in zanesville and one night one morning one afternoon it was a time of day that i'm not sure of and it was wrong of me to try and temporally place this anecdote but there was an occasion on which he opened up all the...
Starting point is 00:08:06 Excuse me. It's not a... He committed a suicide. He opened up all the animals' cages, and then he shot himself, which is simply dreadful, but pretty funny for that to be the thing your town is known for. So I feel blessed that those gentlemen came all that way,
Starting point is 00:08:28 and I could tell that the show meant something to them. And I don't know. I always think about stand-up comedy, you know, personally it's sort of a type of arithmetic. You don't think about whether or not you're helping people or doing something nice. You're just going, that one got a laugh, great, on to the next one. There's really little time to marinate in it,
Starting point is 00:08:49 but no one has ever driven that far to see me do stand-up comedy before. And I thought, that's it. This is, you know, as well as being a thing that I like doing and a thing that might at some point get me enough money to buy a boat, let alone look after my family. Although is any family better looked after than the family on a boat? I thought this is in some way meaningful in their lives. And that was very nice.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I won't go on and on about it because I'm emotional after the great American spectacle that is the Super Bowl. But I want to thank those people for driving all that way to see me. And I'm looking for driving. I'm looking forward to driving. I'm looking forward to driving a long, long way to go and see them. It was a challenging week. I missed a flight. I was with my dad and we were meant to fly back. My son's birthday was the next day, and we, it was my bad, I was a little late getting us to the airport, and then the airport was very crowded, and then we sat on a bus on the tarmac, and it wouldn't move as planes were backing out, seems like they should get that under control, Asheville,
Starting point is 00:10:01 although maybe not, maybe it's nice to have a thing like that that have it be all loosey-goosey i really thought once we got on the bus there's no way we're on the bus they're gonna go without us and they they didn't go without us well they did eventually but they had closed the door and um i got to the front desk and the woman behind the counter said we closed the door i'm sorry that door doesn't open for anybody and then immediately a woman came out of the door. I'm sorry, that door doesn't open for anybody. And then immediately a woman came out of the door and the woman behind the desk gave her such vicious eye daggers. I'm trying to tell them that the door doesn't open again. Anyway, so we had to drive. We hired a Dodge and we drove from Nashville to Pittsburgh.
Starting point is 00:10:45 It was an eight-hour drive that took 11 hours. And I got to drive with my daddy. We got to listen to a lot of music. I let my dad drive for a little bit. He hasn't driven in America before. I stopped him driving almost immediately because I thought I was going to die. We went to Abraham Lincoln's birthplace. It was 10 miles off the road and I thought, it was 10 miles off the road and i thought well i i don't know how frequently i'm ever going to do the drive from nashville tennessee into kentucky over to pittsburgh and get the opportunity to see abraham lincoln's birthplace so we drove off they've built an enormous stone temple
Starting point is 00:11:18 over the log cabin supposed log cabin well actually genuine log cabin but supposedly in which he was born they thought it they thought it was correct at the time but there was a sign saying 40 years later we discovered this was not the correct log cabin but it's still a good symbol isn't it for democracy it was a beautiful occasion and i'll treasure it as long as i live and then i got back having been away and the wonderful Margot was here looking after my fam. But there was still, oh, there was a lot of looking after. I've really tried to pour energy this week. This is why I'm recording the podcast now rather than earlier in the week.
Starting point is 00:11:59 I've really tried to pour energy into the family and do, you know, things and let them know that they're loved and that they're not just trapped in a house in the winter in Ohio, which they are, but that's not just what they are. We went to the Carnegie Museum of Natural History. I'm speaking too loudly and I'm waking up my son. I'm speaking too loudly and I'm waking up my son anyway it was really nice in this week where we're driving off to New York on Wednesday sorry oh mercy me I'm a disgrace
Starting point is 00:12:36 a big thing that happened this week was I got my United States driver's license and so I didn't get my Australian driver's license until I was 28 because my greatest fear in life was what you over here call the Bureau or Department of Motor Vehicles, but we in Australia, well, in South Australia, it's Services SA.
Starting point is 00:12:58 They all have beautiful little names. And I just couldn't handle the bureaucracy and people judging me. I had a difficult time with my parents letting me drive because I had a late puberty. And so by the time I started driving, I was effectively a year nine and had probably the risk management skills of a year nine. And I just sort of said, screw this, I'm not going to do it.
Starting point is 00:13:20 And then when I impregnated my wife, I thought, well, I'm going to have to learn how to drive. I don't want someone to need to get to hospital, and what, I'm going to dinky them on my bicycle? Man, it took the better part of a year. You've got to get like 100 hours of supervised driving. You have to pass a test where I failed failed the first time and they fail you you know in australia they failed you on purpose the first time to drag more money out of you is what everybody says and my lived experience
Starting point is 00:13:57 i don't know why lived experience is different to experience but it's it's a longer standing word man i listened to npr today which is their abc which is their bbc it's their state broadcasting service it's it's appalling it's um just these weak men you're like normal city sounding women but the men on npr um just the weakest most disgusting sounding man I've ever heard. Sorry, I don't know why that... I had to listen to a lot of radio this week as I drove back and forward because you can't take a driving test in Steubenville. You have to go to a place called Lisbon,
Starting point is 00:14:36 which has all the culture and finesse of the Portuguese Lisbon, I'm sure. I actually really enjoyed my time in Lisbon. And here's the other thing other than it being really bureaucratically difficult to get a driver's license because I don't know that anyone has ever moved from overseas to Lisbon Ohio before or its surrounds in the Ohio River Valley of Jefferson County may have been a different county so they had absolutely no idea what to do with a foreign national but they figured it out and then i it was just the easiest driving test i got in the car and he said all right drive down that road
Starting point is 00:15:12 we drove down that road for maybe two minutes he said all right turn around we came back the driving test was over i can i have an american driver's license i can't convey to you how i almost i wanted to cry it was it's so you had it's such a bureaucratic nasty nasty slog to get a license in australia they really hurt you and in america they just don't care they want you driving because they maybe it's because they know there's no public transport and if you can't drive um you'll hastily join the underclass but yes i have an american driver's license and it was so easy i maybe want to set up some sort of um licensed tourism for older people who are struggling to get their license in australia it's probably cheaper faster and easier for you to have a short-term rental in the United States, a visa, get over
Starting point is 00:16:05 here, get your driver's license and go back. Also, there has to be a country where you can do it easier. Maybe Papua New Guinea would be a good place to go to if you're not afraid of being murdered. No edits today. Eton is, I'm told, something that goes on over there. But I think that's definitely true. I'd love to go to Papua New Guinea. I love the Papua New Guineese people. I don't believe I have a Papua New Guinean listener. Maybe I should pivot and work really hard on getting that Indo-Chinese audience.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Oh, ladies and gentlemen. It was really something sitting with a lot of families and watching the Super Bowl. It feels like we turned a corner again on the Patreon, which you can join if you like. And I spoke about this a lot this week, but it really feels like a big corner has been turned. I've sold over $1,000 of mystery merchandise. I've bought so much stuff to give out i bought a toilet seat yesterday i found a at a goodwill i found an unwrapped toilet seat that i'm going to get to customize and send to somebody a james donald ford mccann catamaran
Starting point is 00:17:15 plant toilet seat possibly coming to an ass near you and it's just it's money that allows us to live. And part of the problems this week in trying to figure out what we're going to do is we have a house in America. It lasts until the 31st of March. I don't know where we're going after that. I think I might get two comedy tours in Australia, opening for other people in the middle of the year, and then add my own tour and hopefully perform to bigger rooms than I had conventionally performed to
Starting point is 00:17:50 and make enough money to get back over to America and move to Austin. But this is not something that people with children ever do. And it's taking just an extraordinary toll on my wife, who's very kind and very patient, who's also homeschooling our, you know, very full-on older two kids. I mean, I've met other people's children and they seem like little zombies who are very easy to manipulate.
Starting point is 00:18:21 And my children are... An NPR listener would say that they were ADHD and they should be medicated, but we say just let them have a run around, oh I love them so much, I've, it's sickening but I've been overcome by love several times this week, I just think about how much I love them, I was with my kids, the kids were in the back of the car earlier today, and I was going to go and buy some beers for the Super Bowl party, and I had to go into West Virginia, Mountain Mama. It's all I could think as I was driving through West Virginia, because it's on the other side of the river, and that's where the only drive-through bottle shop is. And immediately as you go over the river you go to heaven it's unbelievable that
Starting point is 00:19:10 west virginia isn't massively wealthy just with people moving there it's it's a whole state full of really poor people who love drinking smoking driving their car and living in the most beautiful mountains I know of in the world. It's perfect. It's maybe the perfect place. It's everything I am and want to be. There's a West Virginian. Robert Bird. I'm getting older.
Starting point is 00:19:41 It's a great YouTube video. Oh, mercy me. And I just, I got through the drive-thru and I bought Budweiser because I'm ready to forgive them. And as I'm in this car that I'm borrowing, I'm going to get my minivan. I own the minivan, but I have to register it.
Starting point is 00:19:58 And I believe I'm doing that tomorrow morning before we head off to New York. Man, here's another thing. I've got all these people in New York that I have met and have enjoyed the company of, and they all have podcasts, and I have to ask them if I can go on their podcast, and I'm afraid they'll say no, I mean, they won't all say no, but many of them will say no, and yeah, I just, I don't ask to go on other people's podcasts, that's not something that I, that's, I mean, I know I
Starting point is 00:20:25 have to do it if I'm to have a boat, but it's a level of self-aggrandizement and self-putting forward and opportunity for rejection. I mean, it's weird to go through the whole rejection of the bureaucracy system and the driver's license and the social security number and the bank account and all the other just humiliations that I've faced, but still writing on Instagram, hey man, I'm going to be in New York next week. Can I come on your pod? You want to come on mine? It's something that I struggle to do.
Starting point is 00:20:51 I can't believe that this Kelsey Mann did not propose to Taylor Swift. That would have really turned it around for Western civilization, I swear to God. Nah, I mean, it wouldn't have. Nothing can. We're in a decaying society but it's got so much life and freedom in it and as it decays people become better and stronger and more beautiful and more free I tell you West Virginia
Starting point is 00:21:18 has the most beautiful mountains I've ever seen in the entire world but the potholes and the speeding. Oh, I did it. Also, I'll say this very quickly. I think I figured out my next hour comedy show. I think it's just going to be talking about the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, which will be fairly uncontroversial.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Oh, I'm sorry. This isn't a Kieran J. Callan interview. Please do listen to the album. It's so great. The song I'm returning to most at the moment, well, I love Chop Chop. I love Chop Chop. I'm looking it up now.
Starting point is 00:22:01 I mean, Anemic Adonis has been one that I've enjoyed for a long, long time. Young Drunk Driver is exceptional, but It's the Truth is what it's called, I keep listening to a song called It's the Truth, I won't play any more of it, because I don't want to infringe copyright, not that I think Kieran would enforce that when trying to get people to go and listen to that album. Go and listen to that album. It's a great album.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Also good this week, the new Kanye album. It's good. It's very weird watching music reviewers trying to review the Kanye album and say, listen, musically, obviously, it's exquisite, but we can't support this man. Oh, mercy me, I love you. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to do, I'll tell you this, just before I go, we went to the Carnegie, the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, a private museum. It was so great. That's all I
Starting point is 00:23:08 have to say about it. No, it was really lovely. Pittsburgh is so beautiful. All that old steel money. If you have money, you have an obligation to spend it on beautiful architecture. Anyway, there were all these rooms. There were dinosaur rooms. There were bug rooms. There were bird rooms. A lot of natural history. And then they have an Arctic room. There was an Egyptian room that was closed for repairs. Presumably the mummies got loose. But the Arctic room was open and we got in there.
Starting point is 00:23:37 And it was just a lot of stuff about Eskimos, which is the word they were using. Found out that Eskimos is not a slur invented by the white man it was the cree word from the cree uh for the eskimos and when they get to modern eskimo times they start calling them inuit but for most of them they call them eskimos anyway it's this big like light blue white room with all this frozen stuff and the temperature is 10 degrees cooler, like they've just turned the temperature down, and so that's part of the exhibit, or maybe they just don't use the heater as much in the Arctic room, but I thought, man, that's a nice touch, I wonder if in the Egyptian room, when it's up and running, if they crank the heat up 10 degrees to make you feel like you're in the
Starting point is 00:24:22 desert, if not, I'll write them a letter. There's no way I'm doing that. But I tell you what I am doing. Rapidly nearing the end of this podcast. I want to thank, once again, everybody who came out to that show in Steubenville. I think I have a new hour that I'll be able to tour Australia with, different from the last hour, and that hour is being edited by Sam Clark at the moment. We shot it on VHS across Adelaide. No, we didn't shoot Adelaide. Silly.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Well, we shot Adelaide, but it wasn't on VHS, so we can't use it. We got Melbourne, two shows in Melbourne, a show in Sydney, and a show in Wagga Wagga, and it's going to be that
Starting point is 00:24:58 and the tour, and it's on VHS. It's called God Save the King. It'll be out soon. Oh, mercy me. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much.
Starting point is 00:25:08 I'm so drunk. I'm genuinely quite drunk. I had a really nice time tonight. I couldn't believe how this Kelsey man preoccupied with trivialities and I just thought ah I was I was actually I shouldn't get caught up in the tabloid press and of course he doesn't have any obligation to marry this woman you can't pressure a person to marry somebody you can't you can try and do it but they won't like it and uh I I was I was then looking at Taylor and thinking, is she disappointed?
Starting point is 00:25:47 And then during the show, she's there with Ice Spice having a very nice time and I was thinking, well, shouldn't she be with his family? I was thinking very little about the football. Mr. Mahomes is an excellent football player. I mean, it's all just fiddling. It's all just whittling away the time
Starting point is 00:26:06 until the AFL starts again, the one true sport. The Adelaide Crows, poor Rory Sloan and his effing eye. It was really nice doing that show. I got a lot of new material. Steubenville show. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm just rambling. Would you like to hear one of my new poems?
Starting point is 00:26:25 That might be a way to apologetically close this out. I was going through during the show. I was going through my phone trying to find a good poem to end the show. I couldn't do it, but maybe I've had one since then. Hello, my name is Anthony Kiedis. Let's start that poem again. Hello, my name is Anthony Kiedis. Let's start that poem again. Hello, my name is Anthony Kiedis. I write songs about my magical penis.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Yeah, it's not the best one I've got. I miss sausage rolls. Sausage rolls are really nice. America doesn't do sausage rolls or pasties or meat pies. It's a weak rhyme. A hot dog is perfectly fine. On occasion, it's good fun. But I miss the Australian way of eating lips and eyes and tongue.
Starting point is 00:27:12 And I miss every kind of wog, especially the Lebanese. And I miss catching buses with drug addicts and the Chinese. New Book of Poems is coming along. Slowly. Oh, man. People ask me to sign their book of poems, people drove two and a half hours so I could sign their book of poems last night, if I can stop these people from committing a suicide, I will have done something all right, I mean certainly that's why I wanted to get into comedy, because I was,
Starting point is 00:27:45 I was like a depressed four-year-old, and then for, I don't know, I mean, I looked up children, suicidal children once on the internet, and it just said, that's fetal alcohol syndrome. And I thought, I don't think I have that. But I remember strongly sensing that death was profoundly unfair and that there was really no point to life if it was going to end in death. And at four, yeah, wishing I could just die
Starting point is 00:28:12 and get it over with. And making very half-hearted attempts on my life, like jumping off a desk onto the floor and wishing I was dead. And yeah, really stand-up comedy. No, it was comedy in general. I mean, The Simpsons, a book of the first nine seasons of The Simpsons
Starting point is 00:28:31 and later stand-up comedy really turned that around. That's why I wanted to give my life's work to it. But to, yeah, it was just very special and very nice. I wish I was a better stand-up comedian I wish I could give that to more people but it was very beautiful excuse me
Starting point is 00:28:52 it's not very beautiful to talk about it something I should have in my private moments I'm too unguarded well I mean some good news is number one there's a Kieran J. Callinan
Starting point is 00:29:01 interview coming soon and a good one well he's very good in it I'm There's a Kieran J. Callinan interview coming soon. And a good one. Well, he's very good in it. I'm just so excited to be talking to Kieran J. Callinan. Because he's excellent. Number two. Future podcasts will be coming from the minivan.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Where the acoustics will be better. So that'll be nice. And number three. I love you. I miss you. I want you. I need you. Catamaran. Mystery merch on sale now.
Starting point is 00:29:29 The Patreon. Goodbye. God bless you. Again, I said this on the Patreon, but I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Shane Gillis for, first of all, saying if I ever came to America, I could stay with him. And I did that a year ago. And I figured out at that point that I might be able to come here and do something. But mostly for explaining football to me when I was there in Austin
Starting point is 00:29:59 and dramatically improving my happiness with watching football. And that I'm so proud that he's doing SNL. I can't believe it. It's the greatest redemption story in show business since Michael Jackson was cleared of the charges of abusing those children. It's really beautiful if you, yeah. Anyway, good night. Ladies and gentlemen night ladies hey if i talk for another minute
Starting point is 00:30:27 this has been a 30-minute podcast guess who's getting another pump guess who's getting another it's you when i was a big boy there was wrestling on tv and now i am a man there is wrestling inside of me and who can really know for sure what the good Lord has in store but I suspect that when I die there won't be wrestling anymore it's not a great one here's another one I think I'd like to go to the nation of Japan but not as a big white tourist as a little Japanese man who has grown up in Japan and who is entirely Japanese and who wishes he could go to any other country, please. I've never felt so sad and alone.
Starting point is 00:31:13 I've never felt so alone and so sad. Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama. Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. That's not a great poem. My neighbor Mark said the other day, he said the steaks were so good, but I messed up the mashed potatoes, and I immediately wrote that down.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I thought that would be a good poem. Reading is for homos. Backpacks are for homos. Disco is for homos. And by homos, I mean homo sapiens. Disco is for homos, and by homos, I mean homo sapiens. Boy, oh boy, we're going to keep working on some of these poems being not these poems. I have civic virtue.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I don't want to hurt you. I just want McDonald's and some pudding and a curfew. Oh, I've got one about, here's a poem about, two short poems about America. America is a beautiful young woman accustomed to neglect and a series of speeches in movies about the importance of respect. America is friendly and America is wise. It's a good guy with a gun shooting a bad guy in the penis. And then the bullet goes through the penis
Starting point is 00:32:24 and ricochets into a good man's thigh. And the good man has to go to hospital Here's the second poem. Driving a big car and chopping your dick off and celebrating our black investors and rising up against abortion and making tablets out of placentas. Oh! Here's one more. Maybe I'm a little girl. Maybe I'm a cup of coffee. Maybe I'm a hat stand and a wood fire and a copy of a beautiful broadsheet newspaper in a hopeful medium-sized town. Maybe I'm a little girl Maybe I'm a brown
Starting point is 00:33:06 Maybe I'm a yellow fog And a windowpane And an IV drip And a cautious sip Of a double cup of loveliness Maybe I'm a little girl Maybe I'm her dress Maybe I am what I am
Starting point is 00:33:17 Maybe I am blessed Here's a song I'll play you my newest song God bless you, God keep you God love you, I love you I love you, I love you, I love you, Catamaran Ho, Biscuit World, goodbye, goodnight, Auf Wiedersehen, so long, farewell. ស្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Thank you. Thank you. We'll be right back. goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need,
Starting point is 00:36:11 whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca.

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