The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - stillness is beautiful

Episode Date: September 18, 2022

Get your copy of Marlon Brando 9/11: Beautiful Poems that Everybody Will Love: https://www.amazon.com.au/Marlon-Brando-11-Beautiful-Everybody/dp/B0B92NWWDCJoin the Patreon and listen to the audiobook: https://patreon.com/jdfmccannI'm performing at Biddy O'Loughlin's fundraiser this Friday, tickets here: https://www.trybooking.com/events/landing/957701 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Even after writing a number one bestseller, the struggle continues. Writing a number one bestseller doesn't magically solve all of your problems. And if you think that, you've got a rude shock coming. Electricity sound effect. And now, please welcome back to the show, the star of the show, Blame's Blonald Blobs Blcan. Oh! Oh! Oh! Well, I suppose the first thing you'll want is an update on the Book of Poems. A big thank you to everybody who has bought and luxuriated in Marlon Brando 9-11,

beautiful poems that everybody will love. poems that everybody will love out now we have sold enough copies to i think be back at the number one book of australian poems we've sold a fulsome number uh almost enough for me to be able i've got enough now for me to be able to pay the cover artist jameson Gildas, who did a wonderful job, and I'd also like to pay the two people who did the introductions. I don't know what the rules are on paying people who write introductions for you. I didn't get them to write it so that they'd have money, but something about, I don't know, being a long-term poor person who writes for money makes me feel like it would be very bad to get someone to write and then not pay them. So i almost have made enough money to pay all of those people and then it

should all be sweet glorious profit will it be enough profit to buy a boat not likely not the immediate future but we're working towards that and now that'm back, we'll be working on the second episode of Thrift to a Million. We'll be making some money off that. And of course we've got the Patreon with the audiobook of Marlon Brando 9-11 Beautiful Poems that everybody will love. You can join the Patreon and listen to that.

Oh, so many wonderful things are happening. And here's one that I'll tell you right now. I think I'm going to America soon. I've had an opportunity, it seems like, to go to America. So there's that. There'll be more information on that in the future. That's still a little way off, but I just wanted to raise that. Also, I'm going to Wagga Wagga. Is there time for me to organize a gig in Wagga Wagga? Not sure. Am I more excited about America or Wagga Wagga? Frankly, Wagga Wagga. I love Wagga Wagga. I want to go back to that river, to that beach. I want to go to that Smoko place that we did an ad for recently. Go back and listen to that to

find out more. Oh, look, exciting things are happening. We came back from Melbourne yesterday, did a corporate gig. Afterwards, I had a, well, I think I had a bad pie and had a very bad day after eating that bad pie. Oh, queasy. But now I've recovered to the point where we had Mexican food tonight. And my dad drove me. We got the drive-thru, Mexican food. And I just recorded an interview with him while we were doing that to fill up the pod. with him while we were doing that to fill up the pod.

Because one cannot just talk ad nauseum about how excellent one's book of poems are doing on a podcast that's meant to be about buying a boat. Oh, what a day, what a time, what a journey to Melbourne. I saw the Harry Potter play with my mum while I was there. We went to go and see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. And it was long enough ago that I read it that I didn't really remember what happened, and that was actually very exciting. It was really well done, and one thing I didn't remember reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was that it was so gay. I mean, I know that the theatre's pretty gay, but this was one of the gayest plays I've ever seen.

James, have you not seen a lot of plays? Oh, and then I read about it. I was like, I don't remember this play being quite so gay. And it turns out that when they went from it being a play over two nights to a play over one night and they condensed it, they cut a lot out. But one of the things they put in was making it more gay so um and boy i was drunk i mean i i was i ordered my mama i ordered my mom wine she she went off to the toilet and i went off to the counter and i said

uh oh what kind of wine do you want? And I think she said something like Riesling. So I went over to the counter and they didn't have Riesling and so I bought like two double of the other kinds of still wine that they had. And then she came and goes, oh, I don't like either of those two. I'll order some champagne. And then I'm just stuck with like four glasses of wine. Well, stuck with like four glasses of wine. Well, I was stuck with.

I enjoyed them. So I just downed the four things of wine. And then intermission, I had some more champagne. And boy, intermission, I was a bit of a mess. I'm just going around to everybody around me. It's pretty gay, isn't it? Do you guys remember this being so gay? And then I was so drunk, I lost my wedding ring.

I dropped that on the floor during the final act by accident and managed to crawl around and pick that up. Eventually, someone actually found that, the person next to me. And really, isn't that what the moral of Harry Potter is? That it's the people around you who can help you find out who you truly are sexually I don't know but they gave me the ring hello I gave him the ring no excuse me it was a wonderful time had by all and it's a great play and um yeah they did they added all the there was some subtext there originally but i believe extra lines were added afterwards to just really draw out that harry's son and malfoy's son had

some sort of special something like the line they added, Dad, he's always going to be my special friend. It was something like that. And I feel they might have added it to be like... Well, here's another thing. So after the play, we walked out, my mum and I, and we got in a lift to go to the car. She was driving the car, obviously, because I was maggoted. There was a woman in all black.

And I said, did you go and see the show? And she said, I do the sound and light for the show. I'm one of the techies. And I was like, oh man, that's incredible. It was pretty gay, wasn't it? I don't think I said that to her. But I did say, how does you know, because this production has been going for a long time, and J.K. Rowling is an outspoken critic of the trans, I won't say trans people, because I think people would take umbrage with that, which I say. The narrative industry, these are all loaded terms. The trans movement. Movement's a good neutral word like that, isn't it? And the lady said, yes, we... She basically copped that they had sensitivity training as a team

and discussed separating the art from the artist. And then I wonder, I mean, I do wonder if, as a response to J.K. Rowling saying that trans stuff, if they made the play more gay to sort of buy the play some more get-out-of-jail... You know what I mean? Like, progressive points? I mean? Like progressive points. I mean, she's saying that about trans people,

but what about how gay the play is? Hmm? And I just, yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I was thinking about. But also how good the special effects were. And also, can I just say, the boy who plays Draco malfoy's son whose name is said a lot during the show that character's name but i i i was drunk um he was

exceptional like there were quite a lot of good actors in this play but whoever they've got playing Draco Malfoy's gay son was stellar. I mean, like one of the best performers. Oh, he just has it. He's going to be a hit. He's going to be a star. I'd love to interview him. That's what I kept thinking as I was downing champagne number seven or whatever, white wine number 68,000. Was that kid's got it.

That kid's going to make it. I've got. Because that kid's got it. That kid's gonna make it. I gotta interview that kid. He may not even be a child. You know, they may have aged him down. I don't know how long he's been playing the part for. His name might have been Spyro? Spyro Agnew Dracula

Malfoy. He was great. Spiracleus. I don't remember,. He was great. Spiracleus. I don't remember, but he was great. Anyway, overall, a very nice time I had in Melbourne. One dampener happened just before we left, and that, of course, was the death of Queen Elizabeth II. And I have been, I think, we've all been mourning that in our own way.

It's hard to know the words to use. Shaking off of empire, the building of the Commonwealth, the changing face of Britain. I mean, the Elizabethan age, I don't have the words for it. I don't have the words for the woman. I don't have the words for the time. Thankfully, I'm a very gifted composer. So what I've written is no Purcell per se, but it goes some of the way. Thankfully, I'm a very gifted composer. So what I've written is no, it's no Purcell per se, but it goes some of the way to describe the feelings that I've had with the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, who lived a dignified life. But here's the song, and when that's over, we'll have picking up some Mexican food with my dad. សូវាប់បានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា ¶¶ Queen Elizabeth II, we remember you prayerfully.

Thank you for your service. Now, we'll want to turn... Yeah, right? Also, we can say the story of your grandmother attended the coronation in 1952 when you were able to get a cheap ship back to London where the 10-pound poms were coming this way and she was apparently was a very story just going on a bit too long she tells it with much more dynamism than what you've attempted to do there say one thing about it was a very cold day ah well I'll tell you about how the trip to Melbourne went.

How's that? Sounds so interesting. Okay, thank you. I did a corporate gig. That's why we went to Melbourne, why we were able to pay for the trip. Obviously not make any money out of the trip because I took five people with me

and stayed there for a week. And if you do that, then it really does cut into the corporate side of things. But on the way to the gig, I drove. I drove to the stadium, and I didn't realize you couldn't really do that in Melbourne, that that's more of an Adelaide thing, that you drive to the football. You drove to the gig?

Yeah, I should have caught an Uber or gone public transport, but I got in a car and I tried to drive there. And as I was coming off the freeway, there was a fairly intense car accident. And there were three cars banged up and I saw the jaws of life being used. And we'll just want to turn left here. And I saw, and they weren't really frantically trying to get anyone out of the cars. And I did see one woman in the car, very still. And then I turned up at the venue and people were eating their desserts.

And I had to try and be entertaining. And I don't know, they did a great job. Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plant. Now, I'll tell you slightly more. I went on the radio at one point. I got a text from a wonderful listener, Tim tim who works on a radio show in melbourne that broadcasts nationally and i got to go on their commercial radio program and i had some very bad memories of working in commercial radio what was the name of this radio station james it's called Kiss FM but the show is Will and Woody who are the

nicest young men. One has a child and one has a child on the way and the whole environment that they have there. Well I guess this is the other thing about commercial radio is it's all set up to be as welcoming as possible so that when they have a guest come in like you know if Rihanna is there or something, she feels really happy to be there. Ah. So what were some of the accoutrements? I have absolutely no idea how to read accoutrement in that sentence. Well, from a performer's point of view, I found it.

Now, hold on, hold on. Sorry, we've got to... I just... I think you're turning left here. I tell you what, why don't I interview you briefly and then I'll record the rest of it when I get home on my own. Okay. If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe,

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Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. CBC News brings the story to you as it happens. Hundreds of wildfires are burning. Be the first to know what's going on and what that means for you and for Canadians. This situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know.

CBC News. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know. CBC News. Alright, any upcoming articles that you want to let people know about? Well, I suppose an article in Spectator tomorrow morning. What's this one about? This one's very much pro-Ukraine. Oh, we're on the Ukraine thing still? Good. Well, that was the consequence of thatraine oh we're on the ukraine thing still good well that that was the consequence of that and we're gonna go left here and some uh interesting comments um not all

positive uh so the article has now come out uh you did mention this so the articles come out your pro-ukraine article oh absolutely and you have people the the pro-Russian federation are going you very hard on the internet. Going very hard, very hard. Basically, if it's Russian media, that's the truth, which is not my understanding historically, and everything from Ukraine is a lie, basically, and yet we've been having some fabulous victories and we should be doing more for Ukraine that's how we defend the West we defend

each other against the arc of autocracy hello can I please have six tacos please of the not the like the more expensive tacos what fillings are there so I'm just looking for them now no the other one sorry the the five dollar ones that come down to $13.50 for three. Oh yeah, which filling did you want today? Sorry, I can't really see the fillings because the car is in the way. So we have chicken, we have slow cooked beef, we have ground beef, mushroom, pork and also vegetables. Could I please have a two vegetable, two chicken, two of the fast cooked beef? Two slow cooked beef?

No, the other beef, please. Two ground beef? Yeah. Two chicken and two vegetables? Yes, please. So in total, we have six hot, five of them total? Yeah, and can they all please be hard shell tacos? Yep, just thinking.

Or maybe even just like three hard shell, three not hard shell. I'm sorry, I'm trying to do this for me and Tay. Sorry? I can do like, I can do every taco. So one chicken, one shrimp, one, um, that's all, like three. Yes, yes, I see what you're saying and that would be excellent, please. One chicken, one brown beef, one vegetables, like three. Yes. Three hot. Yes, I see what you're saying, and that would be excellent, please.

Can I have, and can we have a large nachos, thank you. Vegetarian. Vegetarian nachos? Yes. Sure thing. Yes, and maybe a fries. Just a medium or a large? We'll eat that on the way back. A medium fries. Just a medium or a large? We'll eat that on the way back.

A medium fries. Just one medium fries for this? Yeah, just one medium fries. Yes, please. Anything else? That sounds good, thank you. All right, we're ready. Thank you.

Oh, God. Can't you just buy something? You think we just should have turned up and said, we have four people. do with us what you... Yeah, give us a chicken thing, give us... Well, not me. Give me a vegetarian thing with a little bitey shell thing. And just very, very complicated.

It's like Subway. It's very, very complicated. You think too many options here. I don't like options. Just like like you know pasty vegetarian pasty can I tell you my idea for a shop

that I well my favourite sandwich is at Lucia's in the central market and they do about five sandwiches but one of them is called the number one and it's their marquee sandwich they even

they have tea towels with an artist who has drawn what's on the number one it's just it's not a vegetarian sandwich but it's an excellent sandwich so my thought was you'd do a food truck and i think in rather than calling it like blue cheese and having one of the options or whatever from everything it's just called ones only or it's called the number one and they sell one sandwich or it's a drive-through a single sandwich

and that's it one item on the menu if you want the number one there it is start out the day with 200 number ones sell all the number ones go home now in restaurants same thing just have the best thing that the chef could think of that day and if you don't like it go somewhere else just one thing I bet the top people do that I bet the very highest

classiest European restaurants or she make yeah they make the thing they want to make

that day and you go there and if you don't want it you know it's like mama or something like that isn't it and then you have it if you don't want it you know it's like mama or something like that isn't it

and then you have it thank you thank you so much you're very good it's a complicated business working here isn't it it's okay you guys didn't have it it wasn't a battle like it was pretty straightforward okay oh you have Yeah, I bet you do. There's people that come in and ask for stuff that's not on our menu. Oh dear. Thank you so much, you're great. Hey Dad, driving away now, in an interesting way, before the food has been handed to us. Is it the same thing? Yeah, it's just the one window.

You'll be wanting to head back. Oh. Has someone moved into our spot? Someone's trying to come into our spot. Well, you... Oh, shhh. Yeah, you might have him to get out of the car now. Oh, we make it especially complicated.

Thank you to Dad for coming on the pod and for buying the glorious Mexican food. Thank you to the good people at Guzmany Gomez for doing such a good job and being so patient with us on the way through the driveway. Drive through. Drive-through. Driveway? The driveway through. Hello, Lucias, by the way, if you're listening and you had that idea,

I'd like to be part of making that number ones thing happen. Could be a drive-through. Could be a van. Could be its own standalone restaurant. We can talk about it. Could be just me with a briefcase full of sandwiches on the east end of town. Or on Greenhill Road.

I don't know. If you'd like to come and see me do comedy this week, you can. I'm doing a gig. I'm doing the Biddy O'Loughlin Galway Comedy Festival fundraiser. Biddy's trying to get over there. So Friday the 23rd of September from 6.30 to 9 p.m. I'll be on stage doing, I don't know, I'll do 15-20 minutes of comedy and the money raised is

going to help Biddy and her daughter Dolly get over to Galway. She's been invited to do a comedy festival there. And very exciting stuff indeed. So I'll leave tickets to that below if you'd like to help. Also I would

like to say that you can buy i forgot what i was going to say but i knew i had to say something so i just started saying something stridently uh thank you to everybody who's bought a copy of marlon brando 9-11 beautiful poems that everybody will love tim thank you so much for having me in to be on the will and woody show will and woody thank you so much for having me on your show. Kiss FM, thank you for having such a warm, welcoming environment. It's time for some affirmations. Affirmations. Oh, I affirm that. Well, I had a bit of a vision this week and I affirm I'm going to try and live out that vision. I'm a big believer in visions. And I saw, I think I was seeing Queen Elizabeth II. And I thought of how still she was not just still in terms of being currently dead,

but that there was a weight and a dignity is the word that's getting used a lot. Dignitas. dignitas there's a gravitas there was a unmovability a gentility a being a steadfast and i thought i'm one of the least steadfast people i'm always on the move i was shaking i'm always we're not shaking i'm a mover and a shaker as well, I was trying to say here. And so I affirm affirmations. I affirm that I'm going to try and, you know, in the way that God does not move, God doesn't change.

Sometimes he incarnates and dies and is raised again in the second person. But you know what I mean? It's that, you know, virtue is immovable. There's a stillness, there's a silence. And that, I'm conveying it very badly, but what I'm seeing in my vision is like a big light with like rings around it in space and it's not moving. It's very beautiful.

Its stillness is beautiful. And I'm going to try and live that vision out. I don't know if I'm going to... Yeah, we'll see how that goes. I think I'm going to start by just planning my time better. Okay. Well, thank you so much. I'll try and figure out what that vision means.

Do you know what I'm saying? Anyway, Marlon Brando, 9-11, out now. Gosh, with a man who's got this sort of vocabulary rip-roaring and ready to go, why wouldn't you want to hear the poems that he's been churning out? Have a good one, everybody. Keep it real. Catamaran high.

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