The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - The 500 club

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

Join the 500 club: https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccannGIGS, Houston, Chicago, Tulsa: www.jdfmccann.comGET YOUR PAMPHLET TODAY: https://www.jdfmccann.com/pamphletGSTK out now on YoutuBe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XivuZOzcUUsBuy the books: https://www.jdfmccann.com/books Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month. Every month. At Fizz, you always get more for your money.

Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at Fizz.ca. This episode is brought to you by Google Pixel. I'm Jessi Cruikshank. I host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend. I also have three kids. I need help making every day easier. So I switched to Google Pixel. It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant. Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera. I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9. Learn more at store.google.com. Canadians. The situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters

most. Stay in the know. CBC News. Hello and welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan coming to you live from my American Toyota Sienna. That's right. It is yet another automotive stuck in a car episode. We haven't had an episode where I was in the car for a long time, and there have been some damn good reasons for it. And number one, I don't have to. This is no one's idea of the ideal place to record a podcast, except maybe an audio engineer. I don't know of anywhere that

has such exquisite acoustics as the inside of a vehicle for recording a podcast. But otherwise, it's suboptimal. I'm in the car because my family's home. What? Your family hasn't been there this whole time? Correct. Ever since I got back to America, I've been here alone. Shock reveal. Shock. I just didn't want to talk about it. I just didn't want to talk about it. It made me sad, and I thought that people would think I was having some sort of marital problem, which I was not. which I was not, and I just thought better to plow on, but if I sounded a little macabre or mopey or melancholy or any other word that means sad and starts with M, that would have been why. I was in Adelaide, Australia with my family, oh, I don't know, six weeks ago? It was a long time ago.

with my family, oh, I don't know, six weeks ago? It was a long time ago. Five, six weeks ago. And it became apparent to us that, yeah, we wouldn't be able to get everybody back to Australia together. My wife wanted another couple of weeks. She didn't want that long. She wanted another couple of weeks in Australia because she was having a lovely time

and because it's very hot in Austin and it's hard for her to get around. She doesn't drive. She doesn't drive this beautiful Toyota Sienna uh so I said yeah let's okay let's figure it out but then we couldn't get someone to come back with her on the plane for several several weeks we found so Lily lovely Lily our friend Lily from Australia she was going off to Europe and she changed her flight to come to America for a week beforehand and we're so grateful that she did and she was able to come over with my wife and kids on that flight.

I had to come over earlier to work. I had, as you listen back, I've had great many gigs and opportunities and things of that nature. Things of that nature is an Americanism that I've noticed people say over the phone in call centers. You know, things of that nature. Things of that nature is an Americanism that I've noticed people say over the phone and call centers. You know, things of that nature. That's when they don't want to give you more information or they don't know, they'll say.

Well, you know, things of that nature. Maybe they say it all the time in Australia as well, but I've only caught people saying it here and going, hold on a minute. Things of that nature. Once again, it's very nice having my family back. I, yeah, man, it's been nature. Once again, it's very nice having my family back. I, yeah, man, it's been tough. It was very tough not having the family here. For the first couple of weeks,

especially, I was deeply lonely in my house all alone. I've never lived alone before. I talk about this a lot on the Patreon episode. So if you'd like to hear me go into detail about that, it's over there. And I don't feel the need to go about it. Oh, too much detail over here. This podcast isn't about building a parasocial relationship with a man talking into a microphone in his car. This podcast is about that man's efforts to buy a boat. And I have seen, I mean, the last couple episodes have been interview episodes.

There's on YouTube, there's a Sam Talent interview, which I have not uploaded to audio because there are a lot of swear words and I'm still committed to this not being a swearing podcast to grow it as wide as possible. It doesn't seem to be working. It doesn't seem to be helping algorithmically at all.

Algorithmically? Algorithmically. It's too hot in this car. We're going to open the door. Oh, what do you know? It's roughly as hot outside. How wonderful. The heat is coming to an end.

We'll close the door and we'll suffer on through. We'll sweat it out. What was I saying? Where was I? What am I talking about? It was very hard, yes, having them away. And then having them back has been very beautiful. And also, man, having small kids is hard.

My wife's done an incredible job during the time away to hold it down so beautifully. And a big thank you to everybody who was helping her hold it down. Man, it's a lot having three kids they are so full of life so full of energy and joy i managed to get some things done while i was here on my own i managed to you know finish the script and go out gigging all the time and i think i got another 10 minutes of stand-up comedy. That is how long, really, it takes to write at least 10 minutes. And it's not there yet. There's the other thing.

But having them back, it's like, oh. Oh, yes. Oh, this is insane. I mean, being back in the car now because the family's inside sleeping. I went to bed at like 8 and then I woke up at midnight and it's now what? It's coming up on midnight 30. And it's nuts having small children. Again, so beautiful, so great.

Can't wait to have more. Go raw, leave it in. Give me a DNA test, I may be Hispanic. Mercy, mercy me, it's hard having small children. There's nothing that the government shouldn't do to make that easier just about. We need people to have children. That's the future of the world. I've been looking up demographic maps.

Goodbye Europe, goodbye Japan. It's over. But we need to make it easier. Now, Toyota Siennas can make it a bit easier. This is a beautiful automobile. I'm not being paid by the Toyota company. But what is this? Seats 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

Eight! Frankly, if we had a bench seat up the front, we could seat nine, and that would be good too. And frankly, if we put a chair on the top, we could seat 10. Man. Yeah, just give...

I know they do that in some of the far-right, far-eastern European countries. It's like, you want more children? Thank you, Hungary. Hungary is very proud to have you. That's my Hungarian. Thank you for having more Hungarian children. Have a car.

Maybe that's Poland. Anyway. Yeah, they've got to make it easier. I mean, one way to make it easier is to have enough money that you can hire help and then turn your life into some sort of Victorian England situation where you don't get to see your kids very often because they're off with the governesses. Oh, and then all of a sudden one is very sadly in some sort of Oblonsky-Anna Karenina type situation, having sex with one's governesses.

Well, the governesses who work for one, I guess one's governess would be, you'd be a child. Anyway, the important thing there is, I mean, no one taught everyone. I've been reading about the birth rates. I've been reading about the birth rates and people not having more kids. And I tell you, we don't live in a physical space that makes that easier. It must have been so much easier in the 50s in the West, where you can just have your kids run around the neighborhood. You know, you weren't as worried about pedophiles and cars. That, I think, is hurting the birth rate, is pedophiles and cars. And just the cost of everything. Everything's so

expensive in our machine age. You know, even if you do, I mean, imagine the size of the house and the grounds that you would need to have your children run wild and free with a degree of safety like ye old days. We just don't have it. And I'm not conspiratorial about that. I don't think they're taking that away. I don't think they're taking that away from us on purpose so that we won't have children. away from us on purpose so that we won't have children, so we'll be sterile, neutered automatons, safely producing and consuming less so that the world can survive. I don't think that's what it is.

I think we've just got carried away and the planning hasn't been great. And driving around us, I mean, man, when the family wasn't here, I barely had to drive. Oh, people were driving me when I'd get on the drinkies and have an Uber. You know, I could lime scooter, go for a walk, take my time with the family. We've got to get here now. We've got to get back now. Someone's done this, get over there. Change of clothes, it's in here.

New nappy, bang, go to the car. Have a change. It's the car. You've got to use the car. It's a very important component of having children in modernity. You can't just walk to the corner store. We don't have a milkman. You've got to go and get it. And boy, do they consume a lot of milk and toilet paper and eggs.

I mean, I was going through, I'm a pretty active pooper. I poop a lot. You know, big pooping. And I was getting through a roll every few days. But with six people on the toilet, you're back to being a two-roll-a-day household. Why am I paying the same amount in taxes as someone who's living a two-roll-a-week life? Hey, it's great to be here on the Jamstown Force with Gant Gatimaran plan.

Big things are happening towards boat ownership. Now, I read some of the YouTube comments. Don't read all of them. Try not to. But one that I'm happy to say that didn't get a lot of likes. Someone was like, listen, hey, man. Hey, love you. Stand-up comedy, great.

When you interview people, man, that's so nice. When you're just alone talking about owning a boat, that's not your best stuff. And to that person, I say the following, maybe this isn't the podcast for you. If I was out here trying to have the most popular podcast in the world, believe you me, it wouldn't be about my journey to boat ownership. It would be about vibrators and true crime. That's what we'd be doing. That appears to be the lowest barrier for entry for having a podcast is two ladies, one of whom's plain, one of whom's beautiful and a low-cut top, talking about their sex lives and possibly crime.

That's something that everybody can enjoy. And we're not doing that. Firstly, because I'd have to be the plain woman. And I am the low-cut woman. If I'm any woman, that's the woman I'm going to be. This is a podcast about me trying to get a boat. And we're going to get that boat. And we're on the road, on the journey.

The road doesn't seem like the right metaphor. Especially that I've been complaining about cars out of nowhere and for no reason. This is about having a boat. And if that narrows our audience, fine. I'm at peace with that. We've cornered that very, very, very, very, very small market. That's all mine, sugar.

And we're, ooh, I wanted to tell you, we're so, man, we're doing so well towards the journey to boat ownership. I want to thank everybody for joining the Patreon. We now have over 400 Patreon members. It's time to open up the meeting. That's my gavel. It's just me knocking on the dashboard, and it actually hurt my hand to do that. I'll have you know because I got a big mosquito bite that became infected. I should have knocked with my other hand. It's right near the knuckle. It's right near my knocking knuckle on my middle finger of my ring hand, my left hand.

So if I ever want to flip someone the bird and discreetly let them know that I'm married, they will also see that I have an infected finger. Excuse me, that's not what I wanted to discuss. It's too hot in this car. It is kind of nice to be back in a car and having it be too hot. That's really, that's the supplementary of what makes this podcast so strong, is unhinged boat ownership ramblings and complaining about doing that

in the car. Boy, we lost the strand of it being in the car. Ooh! One day we'll have a studio. Ladies and gentlemen, here's what I wanted to say. Interviews are going very well. That's widening the audience of the podcast. That, here's what I wanted to say. Interview's going very well. That's widening the audience of the podcast. That's great. What I wanted to say is the Patreon. Yes. We have like 400 and something members. It's growing all the time. Now is the time that I'd like to talk to you about the 500 Club. That's right, the 500 Club. It's the club, the very special club, that can only be joined by the first 500 listeners and members of the James L. Forbes,

We Can't Get Him Around Plan Patreon. It's like $350 American to join up. That's the lowest amount. And you can be one of the first 500 members, the early adopters, the trendsetters, the 500 club. Imagine if you were part. I mean, imagine if you were part of the five. And you could say, hello, I'm a member.

Hello, I'm a member of the 500 club. I'm a 500 club member. Well, you can. And everybody who comes after, I mean, it's not an official club. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll put up on the Patreon a special certificate that you can print out because having to send out 500, I just wouldn't do it. I just wouldn't do it.

But I'll take it down once we get over 500. And so if you join the Patreon in the first 500 members, and there's only something like 82 spots left to join the 500 Club, you can then be a member of the 500 Club. You might well ask, James, what does being a member of the 500 Club, what is that certificate? What is this for? What does being a member of the 500 Club, what is that certificate? What is this for? It's for you. It's for your own satisfaction.

Hmm? Yes. I mean, will there be a material difference? No. Can you get into my comedy shows for free? No. Is there any extra content that only 500 Club members will get other than the PDF, which someone could very easily leak outside of the Patreon to join the 500 Club. No, there's nothing. But every night, you'll be able to go to bed and say, hey, I'm a 500 Club member. And there are so many things that keep us from

sleeping easily at night. There are the terrible crimes that we all commit every day. The offenses to God. The, uh... I don't want this just to be some sort of... I'm not trying to sell indulgences here. What I'm trying to let you know about is the... I'm just doing it. And if you want to get one, that's on you.

The 500 Club. And once we're at the 500 Club, will anything change? Undecided. The 500 Club. I just, you know what it is? I listened to the song The 900 Number this week. That... It actually doesn't go up an octave.

Now, it's well known as the sample for Let Me Clear My Throat, which then goes, Let me clear my throat. Have mercy, babe. I hope you don't mind. It's a great song. I've been listening to that song a lot in the lead up to my family returning. That was, I finished Wimbledog. I wanted to say this.

I finished Wimbledog and there is a scene where they're at the Olympics. And I'll give you the broad outline of Wimbledog. There's a movie that I'm writing about, well, I've written about a dog who plays tennis. And there's a retired tennis player who wants the dog to win all of the Grand Slams and the Olympics. And the problem with that is that's six events. And you've got to divide this. I mean, if that was even for a five-act play, that's too many events to neatly go one act, one open. Especially as the first act, the establishing act.

We don't begin in media res. I mean, that would actually be a good way to do it if there's only three left and he's already won three. Damn! I've screwed it! Screwed the pooch! Wimbledog! I was barking up the wrong tree! There's a lot of that in Wimbledog. Anyway, it's like too many events, so I've had to take some of them out to move the action along a bit quicker.

One of them was the Olympics, and it's like, well, what can you do instead of an act? I have all these things that I want to write. I want there to be a discus event and Wimbledog to run and grab the discus, and people are very angry. But then you've got to write that. All the emotional involvement slows the story right down. It doesn't really have anything to do with the overall. So just put it in a montage, and what better song to have for Wimbledog in the Olympics montage than Let Me Clear My Throat sampling the 900 number. Can I kick it? Yes, you can. With the mug in my hand.

You know what I can do with the mug in my hand? That's Biz Markie. Big Biz Markie fan. You say he's just a friend? She's not. She's not just a... He's not. He's not just a friend. That's the subtext of Biz Markie's Just a Friend.

And who could forget Biz Markie's cover of Benny and the Jets, which is on, I believe, a Beastie Boys anthology called The Sounds of Science that I got when I was a ween. Hey, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. Well, what have we covered so far? It's stuck. It's stuck in my brain and it won't come out. It's stuck. It's stuck in my brain and it won't come out. Anyway, sorry. So I was listening to Let Me Clear My Throat, which made me think of the 900 number, the song that it was sampled on.

Then I thought the 900 number. Hey, let me check. Hey, the Patreon. Well, 900 is probably too far away. But the 500 Club? Let me clear my throat. 500 members? Yes, I can. You know that I can kick it with the mic in my hand. That's one of the great rap styles that's gone out of fashion. Can I kick it?

Yes, you can. You know what I can do with the mic in my hand. People don't rap like that anymore. You know, it's all... Well, I mean, there's been many different rap styles. There was the mumbly rap. Humming the hay. Humming the hay. Which, 21 Savage, there's something very similar to that.

I'm windowin' my ram-ram, ram-ram, ram-ram, I'm windowin' my ram-ram. But I like those old rap styles. You know, there's one in a song that came out last year. I think Flo Millie was featuring on it, but I don't think Flo Millie is the one who does this. And she goes, It's that rap style of And I love those rhythms.

It made me think of I think I've spoken about this before. You know that I can do it with the mic in my hand. Man, him saying you know that I can do it with the mic in my hand is really, go listen if you haven't ever heard it. Let me clear my throat. What a tune. Oh, why is my laptop shutting down?

It's not. Excuse me. It was just going to screensaver mode because i've now been talking for over 20 minutes i'm gonna open up that door again because it's too hot the 500 club can you imagine how good you'll feel i don't want to just play into avarice and negative feelings but can you imagine how good you'll feel if you become a member of the 500 club and one of your close friends misses out and perhaps you gather together at a cafe or a golf course or the bowling alley or the archery range or the arm wrestling establishment, you know,

and they say, how was your week? And you go, oh, I'm a member of the 500 Club. And they say, what's that? And they go, well, that means I was one of the first 500 active Patreons when there were 500 Patreons for the James Donald Forbes We Can Catamaran plan, getting access to all sorts of beautiful videos and secret podcast episodes, and of course, the 500 Club certificate that I have on me.

And your friend will say, well, hold on. Whoa, is there still time for me to become a member of the 500 Club? And you'll say, no. hold on. Whoa, is there still time for me to become a member of the 500 Club? And you'll say, no. No, that time has passed. That's what makes it the 500 Club is that you can't be a member anymore. And they'll say, damn. Damn it. All I ever wanted was to be a member of the 500 Club,

but I just found out about a minute ago. And you'll say, no, no, no, no. And then just think how easily you'll sleep at night. You know what I can do with the mic in my hand? Lots of things coming up. I've got gigs. I've got gigs coming up on Houston and Tulsa and Chicago. And I think there's a Minnesota one that's being booked at the moment.

And some of those are in the future. And some of them are in the immediate future. None of them are in the past. Those gigs have already happened. I came back from Canada and I wanted to, I don't think I shared this on the Patreon, but if I did, I apologize.

It's hot and I'm tired. I've just woken up. Oh man, this family is so wonderful. It is very sweet and beautiful to have my family back. I can't imagine I'll be staying up very late in the morning writing Wimbledog 2 in the immediate future because one can't with a family. That's a single man's game, and I got a little taste of it, and I rejected the single man's game. I hope we got everything done that I was meant to get done in my loneliness.

I'll tell you what I did get done. Much more bowling. A lot of arm wrestling. Club house. What was I saying? Was it about the 500 Club? No, it was about Canada. Excuse me.

Canada. They all say at the airport, they all say, hello, bonjour. And it made me so angry. I didn't know why, hello, bonjour. And it made me so angry. I didn't know why. Hello, bonjour. It made me furious to have them say hello, bonjour at the airport. And I could not figure out what it was. I thought, do I hate the French?

And I really sat with that. This is something that happens to me all too often. If something makes me upset and I go, hold on, why do I hate that? Hello, bonjour. I hate it. Hate it. And I don't think it's that I hate that? Hello, bonjour, I hate it. Hate it. And I don't think it's that I hate the French. I've never been to France.

I don't know any, do I? I don't know any French people really well, I'll say that. I've worked with a couple over the years and I'm sorry if you're one of them, but I wouldn't say we were bosom buddies and I'd love to be, you know, I'd like to partake in fraternité with you. But, man, hello, bonjour got under my skin,

and I don't think that it was French. Is it that it's multiculturalism? I thought maybe. Maybe I just want a monoculture. No matter where I am in the world, I want there to be a monoculture. Just one word on the sign, you know. And then I in the world, I want there to be a monoculture. Just one word on the sign, you know? And then I thought, well, if you went to Japan and all the signs were in Japanese and English, would that make you angry? I thought, no, I guess it wouldn't. But I think if I was at

the airport in Japan and everyone was saying, you know, whatever the Japanese word for hello is. And then the word hello, that would make me upset. And then I realized another similar thing that had made me upset was in New Zealand. They all say, kia ora, welcome. Kia ora, welcome. They say it together. Hello, bonjour. Kia ora, welcome.

Obviously, the English part of that has, you know, the French one and the Quebecois Canadian one, the hellos first and then kia ora, welcome there, putting primacy of the Te Reo Maori language. But kia ora, welcome does annoy me. I thought, is that because I don't like Te Reo? Am I one of those people who don't like the Maori language? I don't think so.

Actually, I like Te Reo. I like it. I like that it sounds like Japanese. If you listen to a haka, they all sound kind of angry in Japanese. Why do I hate it? And I only have a theory. I have no idea why I... I don't know why I feel what I feel. That's one of... Through life, through life, I just have these huge emotions, emotional reactions, and I have no idea why they've happened. I've really thought about it. I think it's because it's always the same. They always say, hello, bonjour.

They always say, kia ora, welcome. And it's not natural. It's not real. It's not natural it's not real it's not human what it is is a form of greeting mandated by the government the government or the airline or whatever some body with authority is telling people how to say hi to me there are so many beautiful ways hey how you doing what's going on hey man what's up sugar beautiful it's not all black but i'm just saying there are many beautiful ways hey how you doing what's going on hey man what's up sugar beautiful it's not all black but i'm just saying there are many beautiful different ways to greet somebody greetings

merry christmas happy easter hello so many and it's nice to just get to have a real human talk with someone even if they're a stranger that's why we like going to the shops rather than just having things delivered. It makes life have a little piquancy. And what Hello Bonjour and Kira Welkema is the government mandating how we're going to greet each other. And I find that to be really nasty and authoritarian. It feels Tower of Babel-ish. It shouldn't be the job of the government to take a man who's not, or a woman, who's not, or a middle, one of the confused ones, everything's mixed up inside and outside and whatever. It shouldn't be the government's job to tell them how to say hi to me. That should be up to them. That's their domain. And it's a grievous, grievous invasion of a sacrosanct space of being

able to say hello in any way that you want. Now that I think that, do I object when corporations do it? Hello, welcome to McDonald's. I've never felt angry about that one time. But, you know, it's nice to arrive at McDonald's. Hello, welcome to McDonald's. That's their job. Oh, and now being at the airport is their job as well, Jane. I don't know. Maybe I have the classic right-wing problem

of not minding when a private corporation does something and hating when it feels like it's from the government and an airline when you arrive at an airport it feels like the government i know that it's probably all privatized but it feels like the government do you know what i'm saying also i don't i don't feel like they do do that at shops. I'm trying to think of an example of when a shop or a business, you know, sometimes if you're ordering something and you're on the phone, there are legal things that they have to get out of the way as they greet you. But I'd say the greeter, you know, when you turn up at a Walmart, a Kmart, a Target, anything of that nature, the greeter feels a little

loosey-goosey. Hey, how you doing? Whoa, little man. You might say that to a child or a small person. It feels human. They're actually putting someone there to have a human reaction for you. The business has said, you know what we need is not only just someone to check receipts so that folks aren't stealing something, but also let's have a little human reaction on the way in.

You stand there and you just be personable. And we're not going to micromanage the way in which you are personable. I don't mind that. Kia ora, welcome. Stick it in the bin. Trash. Hello, bonjour. Like they're never saying bonjour, hello, bonjour, like they're never saying bonjour, hello, if they mixed it up,

and half the time it was hello, bonjour, and half the time it was bonjour, hello, or if they just got a choice, it's like sometimes say bonjour, sometimes say welcome, that would be fine too, but this splicing, it's inhuman, it's like, you know know instead of gays and lesbians it's LGBTQIA plus do you know what I'm saying gays means something LGBTQIA plus is a bureaucracy

do you know what I'm saying did I say what's that called whatever it is it's very hot in this car whenever all the first letters add up to make a new word, I don't like it. Just spontaneity. Naturalness.

Do you know what I'm saying? Do you understand? I also don't like Heil Hitler. When people say, you know, Heil Hitler, I don't like that there's a... You know, if they had their own fun, new, interesting ways of talking about how much they loved Hitler and Nazi Germany. Well, it wouldn't be Nazi Germany. It has to be regimented.

It's a part of fascism. The rote greeting. I don't like it. Get rid of it. This has been the James Donald Force McCann Catamaran Plan, encouraging you to become a 500 member by joining the Patreon. I love you, I miss you, I want you, I need you. It's too hot in this car.

I'm getting out of the car. I want you, I miss you, I love you, I need you, Catamaran. Oh, goodbye. Except, of course, for the 500 club members over on Patreon, where you'll continue to hear more from me secretly. All, almost 500 of us. I'm very grateful. I have to get out of this couch.

Too hot. This episode is brought to you by Google Pixel. I'm Jessie Crookshank. I host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend. I also have three kids. I need help making every day easier. So I switched to Google Pixel. It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant.

Gemini can help you summarize your unread emails, suggest what to make with the food in your fridge, and it helped me achieve a family photo where everyone is smiling at the camera. I didn't think it was possible, but it is with Google Pixel 9. Learn more at store.google.com. Are you scouring the web for the best Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals? Then you need to add Rakuten to your arsenal. Rakuten is like a shopping sidekick that gives you cash back at your favorite stores and finds you the best deals. Right now, you can get up to 15% cash back at We'll be right back. And did I mention that it's super easy? Just go to Rakuten.ca, click on a store or deal, and shop like normal. Cashback will automatically be added to your account, and you can get it by PayPal or check.

Join for free at Rakuten.ca or get the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessie Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture, but when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy.

You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know what thirsty meant until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jesse Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts.