The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - The Mission

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

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Alright, so here was my idea that I had was that we would start clubs, a series of clubs in cities around the world. We're gonna have a movie come out I think towards the end of next year. You can still do the garbage bag. I wasn't looking at you like that. I'm talking to my wife. I'm explaining this to my wife. She's very pragmatic and thoughtful and we're both, we're both feeling a little unwell but we're still resolved to set off tomorrow on a big drive. I didn't realize we had so many things for the children to play with in the back. Look at that!

It's a frog with a clear belly and you can find a football inside. All right, my plan was, honey, and we spoke about this yesterday, my wife refuses to be on microphone, clubs, you know, because we need a certain number of people in cities. If the film comes out, we're gonna have the movie go there., one was Berlin, we've got like six to eight Berlin listeners, you know, we'd probably like to be at at least 30 before renting a movie theatre for people to buy tickets to, you know. We've got people around the world, we've got people, we've got like two guys in Tokyo, would I like to have the movie going in Tokyo? You're damn right I would, but I probably can't do it with two people. So how do we take our small groups of people right around the world in Canada, the United States,

Mexico and all the other countries as well and build up hubs? You know, just get people to that neck level of fan base where we break the threshold of being able to put a movie on there and then use that movie to buy a boat. Here was my plan. Clubs. So, I did a shout out about Berlin and then I had two Berlin listeners write to me on the email. They both found my email on my website and they both had some ideas about how I could

grow the podcast in Berlin. I thought, well, wouldn't it be better if those people just got in contact with each other and they start a club? You know, they could have a little club, they could have a meetup, they could strategize, they're better calibrated to the Berlin location and then they could go out, you know, sort of like instead of the Betermeinhof gang, the James Donald Vosbekan Katamaran plan gang, if you will, there's a local Berlin reference that I know about from one of the letters the Berlin people wrote to me So then all right, so that was my thought and I thought well, I'll just keep I'll just do that myself

I'll just keep shouting at okay Stockholm. Okay, Oslo, you know, please please write into me Here's as we wash that pot really I'll only talk about this for two and a half minutes Honey two and a half minutes and then I'll be helping on the house No, no you help you look you're allowed to potter But just if you would even just so I could explain it because what I want to say now is That I thought if I'm organizing these clubs there might be some problems and my main problem is what if I organize a meetup of? James Donald force McCann catamaran plan fans, and there's some nefarious person there who goes, I want to rape them. Do you know what I mean?

What if two people email it? What if I organise that? That would be terrible. If it was Oslo and it was one nice person, it's like, I just have James McHenry. And someone else is like, I'm going to use this opportunity to rape. And then they get raped at the club meeting that I've organised. And so there's two priorities here number one I think is to stop that happening and number two is that if that happens I need to be well and truly at arm's length do you agree that would really hurt me I think if I organized a special club meetup for the podcast in a city where I have no

oversight no input and people are using it I mean, they might not just use it for that, they might use it for other violent or sexual misdeeds. What if people start... What do I think of my fans? Well, I mean, what, but I'm saying what if someone's not a fan? Obviously someone who listens to my podcast could never be a person capable of a sexual crime. It's like, you know, it's like being a Cuban revolutionary, you know, how could you make a bad picture if you were truly, how could you have questions about freedom of speech

if you believed in the revolution? I discussed that question in detail on the Patreon with Eve. Anyway, so here's my thought, it has to be spontaneous and people have to be sensible. So even though I'm not organizing it, I've got some guidelines and some ways that I think it could happen So here's what I would say I would say if you're if you wish to be part of a James Donnell force can Academy and plan fan club you could go on reddit. You know you go on where I think No, no, I'm not encouraging anything. I'm not in Gary honey. Honey. Honey. Honey. I'm not encouraging it

I'm saying if people wanted to do that of their own volition, I think that would be a good way to do it. Because at least on Reddit, it's in public. There's a paper trail. If I set up a private messaging service or something, that would be a problem. No one would be able to see it. But I would say, on Reddit, and then find a public place.

Hello. And there are two. So I don't have an official reddit For the catamaran plan, but there are two James Donald Fawkes McCann catamaran plan Reddit boards that are competing with one. Did you know this? Well now you do one is called catamaran hoe and the other is called I was raised go reddit James McCann I mean that one's got a catchy name Not that they're but but the other one was First.

Okay, so the two Reddit communities are r slash jdfmcp and the other one is r slash catamaranhoe and one has 160 followers, First mates they're called, and the other one has 251 members. So neither is especially currently well populated, but I would say, you know, maybe go to both, maybe go to one or the other. I, you know, maybe, maybe keep them both going. And then if one becomes controversial and poorly run, everyone can just move to the other one and abandon. I don't know. Okay, I don't know how to do it. I'm not doing it. I'm not running either of them So you get together on the reddit and you say just broadly hi I'm in Oslo anybody else in also and then the other Oslo people could come and go whoa I'm in Oslo, too, and you could find it. Here's what I would say during the day a public place You know if during the day in a public place you would that you could meet up and strategize for ways to grow the plant I can't organize that but would you put any other restrictions on there during the day public place?

Tell somebody you're gonna be there And when you're gonna be home Yep, and bring a knife to protect yourself and flares I know Aussies couldn't bring that we could bring out we can't bring swords anymore swords have just been made illegal in Adelaide unless you have a collector's license for swords that gave me thought about ever living there again I've got to tell you, not that I own any swords. I don't know honey. I don't know what we're

going to do with our swords. But if this week, I think that would be a good thing for you, that's your mission for this week. I can, the listener, so I'm back to the listener now. You the listener, I would say the mission for you this week is to get onto the reddit either r slash JDFMCP or r slash Katamaranhoe, whichever you choose or both, and see if you can meet up with people. Here's another one, if you just happen to know people who already listen to it, maybe you could do it there. And you could, and I was saying before, I was saying in the reddit, like if people wanted to meet up, I could, like, I would pay for their lunch.

But if this really takes off, I can't pay for everybody. I said, go to a cheap place for like a lunch, you know, and I'm thinking of like four guys getting together in Stockholm and then I may I buy there. What if they eat in Stockholm, there's black bread and salmon come. What are you saying? What if what? You're having a think on it? You can see I think it's an exciting idea of people to get together and form it not a paramilitary but certainly a cell and then to discuss at these meetings how they're going to grow the James Donnell Foresmoking Academy Rand plan into a vibrant community where they are, with a club,

with an unofficial fan club, which I'm not going to tell them to, but I just think it would be good if people were to do that. But I could never tell them to do that in case it was a rape. What do you think? Yeah. Sounds like you've thought of everything. Does it sound like I've thought of everything? You're saying that in a way that makes it sound like I haven't thought of everything.

We'll come up with something special for people to do at those clubs if they happen, and not that I'm incentivizing that to happen. Maybe, how can I phrase that? Back to the drawing board. Well, hold on, this was my me having thought about it. I was at the drawing board for the Patreon episode on Monday, but this one I feel really like... so I'm not incentivizing, I would just let it... I mean, of course, who wouldn't be pleased if people in random cities around the world started up fan clubs to make their podcast more popular? You know? And we have the pamphlet so maybe you could print out the pamphlet and you could hand it out to people?

What's an MLM? Is that a pyramid scheme? No. A multi-level market. Oh honey, it's not what I do. It sounds like you're starting an MLM. I'm not starting an MLM. I'm not starting...no.

Multi implies many levels. There's two levels here. There's one level. There's the fans. I'm not part of it. I'm not part of it. This is just people driven by enthusiasm and an absence of oversight from me. Or legal liability for what happens at their club meetings Now I'm not studying and I'm not starting a multi-level marketing scheme, honey

But I think it would also be funny if we all wore shirts and we started intimidating people Sort of like a paramilitary. No, we're not doing that. But that's anyway. Look, I'll leave it there I'll do more in the podcast. We're going to hit the road tomorrow, I think, and I have to start getting the house ready. So I'll do I'll record more of this podcast from the road. But anyway, that was just my idea. That was just my idea. What do you think? Go to the Reddit if you want. If that would move you is what I think would be cool. I'm not anything to do with it. Start a club. is what I think would be cool. I'm not anything to do with it. Start a club, be safe. Let's talk about how we get out there because I think very soon we're going to be moving into the next level of the plan which would be identifying cities in which a movie, a James Donald Fawkes McCann

catamaran plan produced, directed, marketed movie could come out and screen. And we need enough people in various cities to make that happen. There are some cities where, who wants to know if they've already got it? I'll tell you, and you can still have a club. But the cities are, okay, most major American cities already taken care of. Don't worry about it. You know, I mean, do form a club. That would be great if you formed a club.

We could get a bigger movie theater and more money. But like Chicago, Denver, Philadelphia, Charlotte, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Brooklyn, Omaha, Minneapolis, New York, Houston, Dallas, Boston, Pittsburgh, LA, Sacramento, Detroit, Kansas City, Washington, I mean these are Cleveland, San Diego, Phoenix, Nashville, these places are all fine, they're well over 20 and we could get at least I think 50 people to a movie theater and it goes on and on. Also, in Australia, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, those are all 100, 200 listeners just on the audio.

So the actual listeners are probably about four times that when you include the YouTube, not to mention residual Instagram people who like the comedy. It might come to the movie anyway, so you can still do it, but don't worry about it. But I'm thinking of places like Canberra, where we've got seven listeners, would be good to get that up. I'm looking at places like Newcastle, five listeners at the moment. I couldn't in good conscience rent a movie theater in Newcastle, Australia.

You know? Thrillmere. You've got three listeners. I don't think I've ever heard of Thrillmere, you've got three listers. I don't think I've ever heard of Thrillmere. Thirlmere, Thrillmere, it's a reservoir in the Cumberland district of, not the English, the Australian one. I mean, if three of them are listening to it there, Thrillmere is in New South Wales, it's rural,

it's 90 kilometers southwest of Sydney. Ah, you can probably get up to Sydney. But in other parts of the world, important, beautiful. But in Canada, don't, you know, I'm saying don't worry about it. But in Toronto and Vancouver, we're fine. 47 and 22 listeners respectively. We could definitely do a cinema there. But Calgary, Cowtown, just 16.

Montreal, 15. Edmonton, 12. You've got to get out there and form a club. If you want, I would never tell you to do it. I would never organize that okay and other places in Canada to in the United Kingdom 16 people in Glasgow I would so love to have the movie come out in Glasgow but unless people in Glasgow spontaneously meet up at a sort of rape free club I don't see how I could

possibly do that in Glasgow London we could do it but what about Glasgow Zealand? Auckland's at 35, we're off to the races in Auckland. Do you want to come over here mate? Do you want to be on the pod? Do you want to be on the pod? Come over here, come over here, come over here, come over here. This one never does anything I ask him to do, ever. The other two, strict obedient soldiers. This one, nothing. Mate! Mate, come on, hey, do you want to come home? Well, Graham, you don't have to go with the gaffer. Wellington, baby, we've only got five listeners. Christchurch, we've only got five listeners. Do you know how many we've got in Dunedin?

None. None. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not so listening. Your mum might have stopped listening. We do have a listener in Invercargill though, so that's nice. And one in, two in Hamilton. And Blenheim. And Manganui. Now Ireland, Manganui, excuse me, Dublin, 42 listeners, you're getting a cinema. You're getting a movie screening. Galway, two listeners. Everywhere else in Ireland's a big problem, definitely definitely don't bother forming the club if you're in cavern because there's only one of you or Dundalk or Nass or Nia or New Ross or Waterford

unless those places are close to each other and you could organize a club that I'm not a part of where you'll be safe if you organize it as such Berlin 11 listen it's working in Berlin it's working in Berlin but you know Frankfurt two list is Munich two listeners come. Again in the Netherlands so many people in the greater Amsterdam area as many as six. In Sweden there's something like five in Stockholm and three in Malmo. I mean let's say that's you, your mission if you choose to decide that you thought it up is to get both people who listen in Milan together Unless it's a couple in which case

You can just have the meeting right now. He's a honey. He's talking about us. I mean talk about us on the park I talk about a Milan Milan it turns out is the number one a city in all of Italy for James McCain a podcaster listener Florence only have a one Florence and nothing Florence embarrassment Milano strong and so on and so forth in Norway we have four listeners in Oslo come on now Mexico City three listeners the Mexico City fan base wonder how many of those expatriates and how many Mexican nationals look it goes on it goesals. Look it goes on, it goes on and on, it goes on and on. Maybe you're in Japan, maybe you're in Switzerland, maybe

you're in Poland, maybe you're in South Africa, maybe you're in Finland, maybe you're in Portugal or Spain, maybe you're in Singapore. Actually Singapore, we've got four listeners in Singapore and the only city in Singapore is Singapore, it's a microstate. But would the four Singaporeese listeners get together? That's for them to decide. You go to the reddit you figure out there that's your mission if you choose to decide that that's a mission that you want to undertake safely. That's too long a name for the podcast so I will just be calling it your mission but I want everyone to remember that there was context oh I might have some ibuprofen my head's starting to ache and there's a lot to pack up guess who's back back again

James Donald forms again is back tell a friend at one of those clubs that you'll be setting up if you want to do it not because I told you to do it hey some time has passed that's my ibuprofen ibuprofen ibuprofen ibuprofen oh it's that sort of podcast content that people can't say no to it's that sort of podcast content That means we're growing at an exponential rate. Whoa. Whoa. All right, I don't want to overdo it I don't want to be over and through I think we will leave on the drive tomorrow There is a lot to back up for a second there after Anyway, I'll give you some other updates on the pod. I recorded a comedy special that's being edited at the moment. Excuse me, my friend Jack has just

sent me the introduction that he's written to my new book of poems. And he's written the email, it's written, please find my attached effort to introduce your poems. Feel free to edit, change, remove things, whatever you want. Let me know if you want me to crack at it. Feeling a bit anxious about it it if I've said anything that offends Please let me know was all meant with the lightest of hearts I did once have a go at Jack over something he'd read that I was anyway, let's read it And if for some reason there's an issue I'll take this bit out of the podcast But wouldn't that be fun to read it together got my new book of poems coming out soon

Sadie's working on the cover. One introduction already been written by Ruby. This is the new one from Jack and that's the last but now I just have to write my own introduction to the book of poems and I got my new book of poems, Disquieting Levels of Egg. That'll come out in a couple weeks at this rate. All right, let's see. Dear reader, what a great thing to get to read to close out the podcast. Thanks Jack. Didn't know what I was going to do. Was all out of ideas. I had my anti-rape club monologue, but now we get to move on to this. Dear reader, gosh, this would be a weird one for people listening to the podcast for the

first time. All right. This is actually, to be fair, this is what the podcast is usually like. Dear reader, I warmly welcome, Jack's written this about my new book, Palms, which you haven't read yet, but anyway. Dear reader, he's read it though. I warmly welcome you to the latest collection of poetry by Mr James Donald Fawkes-McCann. I assume that if you are holding this book in your hands then he needs no introduction, but he has asked me to introduce this book of poems and I think you'll agree that here,

as in so many places, to separate the art and the artificer is to diminish both. Let's see where he's going with this. He's got a Keats quote, a man's life of any worth is a continual allegory and very few eyes can see the mystery of his life, a life like the scriptures figurative which such people can no more make out than they can the Hebrew Bible. Lord Byron cuts a figure but he is not figurative Shakespeare led a life of allegory his works are the comments on it hmm all right see what that means is he saying I'm like Byron is he saying I'm a boy lover not in some time I believe writes Jack I will be the first one to observe that James McCann is more similar to Shakespeare than to Byron

I love that. I'll take that. Thanks Jack numbers on the boards He is as Chesterton would say more of a poem than a poet That is a dig That's a dig from Jack that's something I say about people who are not poets all the time Anyway, but I'll take it. It's a good nature dig. Here we go. Which is not to say that his poetry is not worth the read.

Far from it. James too leads a life of allegory and his works are merely the comments on it. Interesting. Yes. One could say, as I've heard so many say, and perhaps said myself, that James's poems can really only be described as such because he yearly compiles his prose ravings frantically stabbed into the notes app on his phone, puts odd line breaks in them, and then publishes them under the title.

Some feel like jokes that he can't or won't include in his act, others observations on the mundane or profane, others melancholy meditations on whatever is bothering him that day. But this is what makes him to take Keats's view so very Shakespearean. I like where this is hidden. James is not a Byron, moody and romantic, aristocratic and reaching for profundity. Well, I mean, James is not bothered by form or structure or verse or rhythm. These will occasionally manifest, yes, briefly and in media res, as though these things lie dormant in his breast, volcanic and tectonic.

Byron wrote to write poetry. James writes for money. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's not wrong. I mean, I mean. Happy to have that in the introduction. I would. There are other things I could do for money. We'll see where he goes. I won't interrupt. And you, dear reader, recently departed with your money,

might feel cheated or annoyed or protective of James for me saying this. But you have not understood my point. Well, I haven't either. I'm waiting for it. Here we go. Shakespeare wrote for money. Ah. Ah, he's back on track. He's back on track with the kindness. By the way, would

also be very happy if Jack was putting the knife in. I don't mind if people write the introductions and they say they don't like it. When I give them the poems, I say, you don't have to like the poems, I just think you're a good writer and you should write. I'm going to stop interrupting Jack's work. Jack's doing a great job. Shakespeare wrote for money and he's fucking Shakespeare. James is a working poet. His is more of a gozo poetry. Poetry raw and unrefined, reported straight from the front. Yes. James lives, writes, publishes, profits and repeats. His life is the poem, which he might share with us. His life is the allegory, and his poetry comments upon it. Is his poetry formless? Often. Versatile? Sometimes. Rhythmic? Occasionally. Substantial? Ellipses? Question mark?

Then a quote from Chesterton. Poetry is sane because it floats easily in an infinite sea. Reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite. The result is mental exhaustion. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head and it is his head that splits. Now, back to Jack, as Hussul would say, to the things themselves, the poems. Oh, this is a long introduction. I like this. You know why I like a long introduction? Makes the book look longer and then it's worth more money. Oh he's understood me beautifully Jackie. Now by the way, anyway, please

buy the poems. This is James, I do think they're good poems, this is James's fourth collection of poems, I'm Shakespeare, This is James's fourth collection of poems. His first, Marlon Brando, 9-11, beautiful poems that everybody will love, was a naive collection, rough and random, a foray into the art, speculative and uncertain of itself. By the way, just quick interruption, I think this is the first time that someone's done

a written appraisal of the body of my work, and I'm thrilled to bits about it. Jackie, I love you. His second, My Monkey and I Have Something to Hide, Unpleasant Poems with Limited Appeal, was a more solid work. James found his feet became more flexible and allowed the humor that has made him famous

to inform more of his poetry. His third, Splish Splash, built on the foundations of the previous two. He became more confident in his use of humour and insight. This volume dear reader is the culmination of these works. If this is the first collection you have read I assure you the previous works are worth your time. Ah Jackie give me what I want there more people to buy my books and poems but I believe you will see what I mean. You will profit from them after reading this for you will see his apprenticeship in the craft If you have read one or all of the previous works Then I assure you dear dear reader that you are about to embark on a sheer delight. Oh Jack

Thank you for this is a work of one It was finished their apprenticeship and has embarked on the road to mastery tongue firmly in cheek there Jack question mark another quote When I was a child I spoke as a child. Maybe he meant it in which case that's beautiful When I was a child child I spoke as a child maybe he meant it in which case that's beautiful when I was a child I spoke as a child this is a st. Paul quote so I'm not gonna do a silly voice when I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child but when I became a man I put away childish things for now we see in a mirror dimly but then face to face now I know in part but then I shall know just as I also am known." Here, dear reader, you may be irritated with me again.

Hang on, I hear you say to me in my head where I have at least half of my conversations with imaginary people. Where do you have the other half of the conversations with imaginary people? Isn't this a book of silly poems by a silly comedian and you're comparing him to Shakespeare? Did you just say he was mastering poetry and quote the Apostle to the Gentiles to support it? I'm sorry to say dear reader that you are making such a fool of yourself before you have read any of the excellent poems in the book. How embarrassing for you! I will believe you will change your tune when you shortly read, Is that

Michelangelo's David in your pocket or is your penis the size of Michelangelo's David? And then you will see that you are no better indeed than the subject of non-beetles man And I suspect you will want to find solace in the subject matter of the excellently titled bosoms But dear reader, and I mean this quite sincerely now There is far more in this humble volume than what we have come to expect from James McCann Jack I got Jack to write this Jack is one of the fiercest critics of my book. Jack and Anna Freer. Dear dear friends, and you know, this is I'm so I'm very here we go.

Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. So it's more than we've come to expect. I think that means he likes it more than my other ones. This is where I was going with my heightened comparisons to Shakespeare and Byron because I do think that there is something special about this new compilation. Yes, that James is doing something different now. I am. And that this does represent a maturing of his work. Thank you.

Mary England is, yes, very funny. But the James McCann that I know is far more than a comedian or a sometime poet. He is a man whose opinion I value on literature, football, politics, and what is the good. And occasionally he will let this more serious side shine through into his artistic works. Maybe that's not entirely fair actually because I think the reason James is such a success, and I believe he has so much more success in store, let's find out, is because he has such good judgment, intelligence, and keen, insightful eye. I don't think I have the first two, but the insightful eye, I've often said that.

Yes, this is a funny poem, but we laugh, or maybe I laugh, because I genuinely don't know the answer to the questions he raises. Like all great comics and all great poets, he points to the things that bother him, that should bother us all. Revolution is another example, short, funny, but also, and I believe this, saying something. It's about time someone acknowledged my poems were saying something. Oh, I'm enjoying reading. Everybody should write a book of poems and get their friends to write the introduction. Everybody should do it. It makes you feel seen and loved. Like all great comics and all great poets, he points to the things that

bother him that should bother us all. Oh, sorry, I already read that one. Excuse me. It was so good I wanted to read it again. There is a real poetic insight here delivered different to a Shakespeare or a Byron certainly. Perhaps Chesterton is not an is not at all an unfair person to quote from when seeking to describe it. I can tell you that I thought an academic essay about airports was precisely that. Take the following size lines., excuse me, I do, I have had a headache, I'm not reading this very well. A plane, but maybe people reading it will have a headache and they won't read it well either, so we're getting a fair, a plane is the size that the market dictates and that's just not a size that makes people

feel comfortable. The plane rides the man, it rides on the back of 150 severely squashed men, 70 men who have been more or less squashed, and 30 men comfortable nevertheless being written. I wrote that, I should got it right. I will never fly, this is back to Jack again, that was me, this is Jack, I will never fly in a plane again without this image squarely in mind. Being great is very easy is a poem that I know comes straight from James's heart as he has opined this very thing to me on very many occasions and usually extortingly, extortingly, extortingly would be. James is the master of conjuring an image without describing it in any positive terms at all. As you can see, he's got a quote from one of my poems, have you ever walked into an anime store or a store where they sell all the trading

card games or a sporting goods store or a hardware store? These are not the types of people I am looking for. No! I don't remember writing that, that's not bad. There is all this and so much more in the following volume. It is not a difficult read, although I warn you that some of these poems are very long. One could read them all in quick succession, and I dare say one should. What awaits you, dear reader, is not poems or poetry

in the traditional sense. James asks at one point, how does one get one's poetry into the schools? I suspect none of these poems will make it into the schools. Devastating, Jack. But that is because while one can read them in isolation, you shouldn't. Because James is more of a poem than a poet, which is to say that these poems are a commentary from a rare mind, a funny mind, an insightful mind, a contemporary mind. And if Onanosoff, I wrote that, I should be able to say it. It's the title of one of my poems. Onanosof is anything to go by. A very sick mind indeed. That's my poem about eating your own cum, which I've never done.

Anyway, that's more or less the poem. Hey, Jack, that's great. Ah, that's great. What a good intro- what a fine introduction. I don't really want to change. I think- I think Gozo might have been a typo, and that might need to be Gonzo. But other than that, unless Gozo means something, I should be very hurt. What a beautiful introduction to a beautiful new book of poems that I have written. And we add that to the many introductions that have been written to my book of poems where I don't, it's not an unvarnished, you know, it's positive. It's very nice, nice about me personally. I mean who needs their poems to work in isolation of their personality. I accept that not as a criticism,

but as a statement of fact. Who wants that? Have you ever tried reading Philip Larkin? You tried reading Philip Larkin without keeping in mind that this is a guy who was very racist, and was bald, and had glasses, and worked in a library. You can't do it. You can't do it.

And you wouldn't want to. How do you read Shakespeare divorcing that from the fact that he left his wife his second best bed and Hamnet, poor sweet Hamnet, and of course the secret Catholicism. How can we divorce Byron from his gallivanting ways or Keats from his young death or Yeats from whatever we know about Yates. I think it was Irish. I don't really know about Yates. I did. I think it's a Yates quote where it's, you know, be careful. I've put my dreams out and you're walking about you tread upon my dreams.

I don't have to quote 100 percent down pat, but it's something like that. And I saw that on a doormat recently. Oh, I went and I walked along. I crushed those dreams under heel. Anyway ladies and gentlemen thank you for thank you to Jack what a beautiful introduction that'll be in the new book of poems Ruby's written an introduction to that'll be in the new book of poems Sadie's doing the cover? Yes. I'll write an intro? Will I ever?

Yes. Excuse me, little hiccup. I'm drinking an antioxidant juice now it's got beet, strawberry, raspberry, purple carrot, red cabbage. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Fawkes McCann Cameraman Plan podcast. I await with bated breath to see if any clubs that I'm not involved with where people act

very safely are formed during the week. Big shout out to Jackie. And if you're in Adelaide there'll be an episode with or Perth, my friend, my friend, friend of the show, friend to me. I did a podcast with him I have to edit it up and get it out hopefully this week Mark Barnes will be giving some talks in Adelaide and Perth. I cannot recommend enough that you get down and see Mark Barnes speak and expose yourself to Mark Barnes thought All right. I love you. I miss you. I want you I need you

Katamaran ho I love you I miss you. Oh, I mean them all Affirmations, I'm gonna get myself well. We're gonna pack up this house and and hopefully at some time tomorrow, we're gonna drive off for California. I've got shows coming up in California. They're on the website. All right, let's end the podcast there. Woo!

10 years ago, I asked my partner Kelsey if she would marry me. I did that despite the fact that every living member of my family who had ever been married had also gotten divorced. Forever is a Long Time is a five-part series in which I talk to those relatives about why they got divorced and why they got married. You can listen to it now on CBC's Personally.