The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - tim butterly

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

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Hello everybody and welcome to the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan coming to you live today with a special visual element. We're really working on improving ourselves. I'm joined by Timothy Butterly with who I've been performing at Zany's Nashville. Timothy, so good to have you here. Thanks for having me. It's a real pleasure. It's a joy for me too.

Now, there's another episode coming out this week. I never do two in a week. What? But I got an interview with Kieran J. Callinan that I've been too busy to edit. That's a way bigger guest than me. me no we're getting all the big guests and you was he very funny and charming he i felt so guilty that i sucked as an interviewer oh man i do have to edit me so i just a lot big sections of it are just me going you're so cool yeah are you gonna over are you if you if you find him making a good point are you going to overdub yourself

asking a good question leading to it that's the power of editing I would still have to be able to edit myself out of talking over his answers

going that's so true you're so absolutely right Kieran Jack Helman very interesting Kieran it's a great album great new album and we are in where are we

Nashville Tennessee and I just wanted to say we're going today. I think I'm going to record video while we're there. We're going to the Parthenon. I'm very excited. Yeah. Mostly to spend time with your dad. You know, he's such a sweet man.

He's having such a fun time. A sweet dad is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. Can I be honest? You know, you see a lot about those tough dads that can show you how to do a lot of stuff, but a dad that's just very sweet and just stays out of the way mostly. Oh, man.

Well, he's been very... He's taken himself off to the downtown as I've been here sleeping. We are staying together, so it's nice to go on holiday together and it's nice to have some time apart. He doesn't know we're going to the Parthenon yet. Oh, no.

Is he going to hate it? Well, he's a history buff and i think he will man yesterday he saw a barbie big hammer going past and he took a photo and he goes i mean these people the masses of which i am a part i am part of the masses too but what gives them pleasure is incredible we had just been through the hunting uh is a big hunting convention that we snuck into yeah um and just the whole time he was like he was he just he was like they they love killing big animals. Have you never imagined killing a huge animal, though? I could do nothing but imagine killing huge animals over there. Have you killed a big animal before?

I don't think so. It looks so fun. Killing little ones doesn't really count. Well, man, when they kill little ones, they've got to kill so many of them. I've seen these aerial pictures of what they took of when they go duck hunting, and then they just have a football field with a thousand ducks spread out. It's mental.

Is that better or worse than killing one giraffe? Or a giraffe. No, I don't think they're endangered. One thing I did see that upset me was there was a taxidermied rhinoceros. And I'm pretty sure you're not meant to kill them. I don't know if they're in such plentiful numbers that that's cool.

I did just see a picture of a sleeping rhino in Africa and he had armed guards. And granted, they were just kids in soccer jerseys and sandals, but they had machine guns guarding this one rhino. So I'd probably... Man, the drip on the African child soldier or the coup plotter where you get a little beret. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. I love it. Yeah, and you're wearing a beret and also jean shorts that have fashionable tears up the thighs. And one mangled hand from when you tried to escape the mine as a youth ladies and gentlemen very yellow eyeballs this is i got it we got it i got it now i just re-established this is a podcast about trying to buy a boat there'll be no editing on this podcast unless no no no it's good it's good

i just usually edit it a lot but i haven't been able to i've been we've been so tired and we've been gigging so hard and it's all gold so it's like. It's good. I just usually edit it a lot, but I haven't been able to. We've been so tired and we've been gigging so hard. And it's all gold, so it's like, don't even cut anything. No, I'm loving it. Now that we have a video element, oh, I should probably sit

in a different way so that I don't, I look so hunched. I mean, you didn't even look at it or you didn't block yourself in. You might not even be in the shot right now, which would be great.

I need a young man to follow me around. Paul is, dude. Now, you have a young man. Paul is, James. Come on, man. You have a young man who follows you around? I have a team. I have a squad, yeah.

I have three dudes that I work with. Oh. And it is very helpful, and my stuff looks very professional and people mention it because you're from philly yeah you're still in philly so you have all that residual still in philly connection and energy it's so valuable yeah yeah my guy my like dude who produces all my stuff and does all my stuff is a kid i grew up with like he was my sister's friend growing up and so you can't pay for that no no it's pretty fucking cool dude i've got like a a crazy connection and i've been disempowered i used to have these in australia yes yeah and now i'm i'm putting my iphone i'm

resting my iphone on a skull on a deer skull who knows it's gonna look great a deer skull. Who knows? It could look great. The deer skull might be the move. I'm just... I'm surrounded by death. I don't want to be disrespectful. Yeah, you need a minion. I can't tell you how excited... If it was the real Parthenon, I wouldn't be excited at all. You know, I don't know anything about the real Parthenon.

What were they doing there? Is it mostly columns and stuff? It's a lot of columns. Okay. I know there are marbles and that the marbles... Marbles like on the ground, like rolling things or like marble rock? We'd say displays, like big carved statues. Oh, yeah.

Okay. And the British took them because they didn't trust the Greeks with them. I think it's a good move. Yeah. Can you imagine if over the last hundred years Greece had had access to those marbles?

They've kept them safe. Didn't they ruin the entire world's economy like single-handedly? Which is difficult when your only industry is lounging. Don't f***ing trust Greeks

with your marbles. What the hell? Bloody give them back to the Greeks. You've lost your marbles in both senses in that case. No, but seriously. The English took them back

and they keep them there. I think it was originally a temple and then it was a bank. Maybe it was a temple bank. And then it was an urgent care. I think it was a mosque for a time

and a church and now you just walk around Mr. Chips, lonely, not sure what to do. I think that's it, the Parthenon. And also it's at the start of an Ayn Rand novel, The Fountainhead. Have you read Rand? I have read Rand. I have not. I've read some Wikipedia articles.

I very much embraced Rand as a young man. Oh, no. Oh, that's so painful. Oh, man. It's the best books to read as a young man and now I find her to be a difficult... Oh, that's so painful. Oh, man. It's the best books to read as a young person. You're the smartest 19-year-old in the entire world and you're unbearable to be around. I was deeply unpleasant.

Yeah. I told so many people to quit comedy and that I was the one true great. I was going to triumph. Anyway, the start of The Fountain, it's a man who wants to build skyscrapers and like beautiful modern he's based on frank lord wright and uh man and he just goes to the director of the architecture school it's like the parthenon parthenon bullshit and the director goes maybe

you should leave the school i think yeah so he gets out and but that is the part it's like considered the pinnacle classical architecture. Ooh, okay. So, but seeing the original for some reason doesn't stir up anything inside of me. Seeing a version that they made in the 1890s in Nashville, I couldn't be more excited. Yeah. I mean, what were, what were people like in Nashville? Did they bring people in or was it locals? You know, this thing might look fucked up i believe they recently lost some uh uh readily available labor learning to work for the first time ever and

they go you know what let's be ambitious let's go to the top we the cotton fields are no longer a an industry that we can seriously make money from do you think it was like almost like a garage project that they all started to like kind of get out of working the fields? You know what I mean? I'm going down the Parthenon. Yeah, babe, listen.

It's a matter of southern pride that I finished this thing. I'm sorry. I will get to the cotton eventually. Just get off my fucking ass. I mean, the boy's

got to build the Parthenon. Just building the Parthenon and going, man, they'll see. When the Parthenon pops, I know it doesn't look like nothing now and I'm in a bad financial state. Just like I'm hoping to get into the big rooms after I build the Parthenon.

I hope, man, they're going to have Parthenon t-shirts. Wait, so he wanted to build skyscrapers? Wait, that was the Ayn Rand dude. Man, I love... The Fountainhead does stand up as a great work of literature even though there's one scene where he rapes a woman and she loves it and they just move on uh it's not that he she she she he doesn't get a yes and she's very it's portrayed obviously they're both having a great time and no one is scandalized but when you read back you go oh she's intentionally written a hot rape into the book by the hero and it was written by a

lady anyway so it's like yeah it's obviously her fantasy that's that's just transparently literally consent what she was so he wants to be an architect he goes out on his own no one will give him a job and then he becomes an architect uh he gets like a renegade architect like bad boy absolutely and he works for the only other renegade architect in the world who's a washed up drunk by that point and the washed up drunk's like get out of here you don't want to be like me you don't want my life and he goes i do and the man's like god damn it you start on monday it's really great and then there's how are they renegades though like

radical designs or like lowering costs by taking risks no they work with great builders who they love and the builders are like they feel beautiful working for them but they're basically they're building like glass boxes oh okay so torture genius type stuff yeah but i mean if you look at it now it's like everybody's building this fucking nonsense and it's all dreadful yeah uh and it would be so nice if someone built the parthenon again hey do you know the only the only knowledge i have is i watched a michelangelo uh movie and he was kind of the same way he was totally fucking nuts about the stuff he was making he was driving him insane i didn't He was totally fucking nuts about the stuff he was making. He was driving him insane. I didn't know that.

But Da Vinci seemed like he might have been chilled out. Really? Yeah. Well, he was like, he was doing sketches. I only saw him in a video. I met him in a video game one time and that's all I know. You met Leonardo? Was it Assassin's Creed?

Yeah, it was Assassin's Creed 2. Yeah, nice. And I was like, this is a pretty cool guy. I would hang out with him more, but I don't know anything about him besides that. Can you assassinate Leonardo Da Vinci? No. I mean, well, I would never, but I don't know if you're able to. That would be the worst video game ever, dude.

If you met the coolest, chillest dude in all of history, and then you just killed him? No, that's the video game I want to make, is you travel through time, and you kill only the best and coolest people. It's Albert Einstein, and he's a baby. And you push him off a cliff. You push him off a cliff. You drop him into a gorge.

His enormous hair functions as a series of springs because he saw it coming and he ricocheted. Man, did you see Oppenheimer? I got like halfway through and I kind of tuned out. Oh, you missed the most erotic part.

I don't know. I did see them having sex when Japan is destroyed. No, not the sex. The destruction of Japan. It's so, man. I just want, I mean, I'm going to buy. It was like offensively boring to me.

Really? I was just like, what an insult. What an insult to my time. No. I swear to God. I mean, you don't get to see a lot of movies when you have a family. But that was the only one I'd seen. Maybe I was so starved for stimulation. I thought was very exciting but i who was the girl in it was it it was emily blunt

emily blunt wasn't she an absolute if emily blunt ever wants to come on the james donald forrest mccann catamaran plan she won next week i'll just be completely eclipsed in every possible way and so on interesting you got top billing over Kieran J. Kellen, but I will say that's only because I was too lazy to edit that podcast. That's fine. I'm going to let everybody, I'm buying, I'm doing merch for the podcast.

You're doing merch. I'm, I'm buying merch and I'm sending out mystery merch. People pay me money and I buy something roughly worth half. And then I send it to them. I keep the rest of the money, but I'm going to buy path and on merch today and send people merch from the path and how lucky would they be can you imagine you get in the mail they don't even

know the path on it exists i'm so excited about the path and on what this better be good well what you're on the road now a lot you're hitting the big room a little bit i just started i'm brand new to the big well you've done comedy rage traveling for myself. And now you're being forced to make that big step up into headline. Yeah, I'm being, my only option

is to demand people's time and attention and a little bit of money and it's the worst feeling ever. And I'm brand new at it and hopefully I figure it out. Well, you're ahead.

I'm watching you with bated breath because the thing you're doing, I'm about to have to start planning how to do. There is like a blueprint for it. It looks terrifying. Because first of all, the deal you're getting from the clubs is I assume,

I'm in Australia, my deal is I get 100% of the tickets and you keep the booze. I assume they don't let you have that. No way, dude. They starve you. They starve you in the beginning here. And then they dangle out, they go bigger they starve you in the beginning here and then they dangle out they go bigger shows if you do this and then you so you take these really rotten little deals and you go i can't i can't go on and then it becomes the toughest point in the entire arc and you go this

has this this has to be the end and then you think for a moment you go but how many dudes hit this point and they go no more i can't take it a lot I would think I don't know but I'm not gonna be one of them I've said that to myself a lot of times over the journey

and like I'm not gonna back down I'm not gonna be the guy who walks away and I'm trying to convince myself I'm definitely the guy I just know so many people

who've quit comedy and they're doing so well now it's like a painting of families that have... This fucking sucks. The people who do this shit are losers. Why would you ever get good at this?

Well, we've... But we're not going to do that. They say sunken cost fallacy, but I reckon if we... We probably actually have sunk enough costs to make it through. I mean,

point of no return. But you've got to... So you've got to... You've got to have... Small rooms, financially difficult. You've got to get yourself out there. The costs are very high for touring alone.

But I mean, you're doing well. I mean, you're adding extra shows. This is what the thing you have to do. It's working. You have to get through to the next room. Yeah, it's working. That's what's crazy. I am very good at this stuff.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm very good at it. And I think a lot of people see me and they really like me. So it is worth it. You know what i mean yes i'm very good at it and when and i think a lot of people see me and they really like me so it is worth it is worth it you know what i mean yes now if you sucked that would be very hard if i sucked i would be finding out right this is the moment right now and it maybe maybe i'm only so good and at a certain point i'll try to be better and that's when people will see me as sucking but you'll get to find out where that is. But right now,

so far, people are like, you don't suck. Do you keep going? So man, it is hard when people, I'm not speaking for myself. When I suck,

I don't know where this business is going to take me. But when you, when you do meet someone who sucks, they, they almost never know. Yeah. I've had just so many conversations with specifically men in america who who suck and then at the end they'll go like man remember my name remember my name or like they'll do something

like i'm gonna move to it's like yeah i will remember your name because i'm already texting my friends about you i don't remember yeah's a weird... Often they have a broken home. When I caught that bus, I had so many conversations with men. Wait, they have a broken home, like their family, like they're divorced? Like they're not there for their kids,

they're not there to see their kids. Yeah, ooh, man. And they're going to like... Do you talk about family stuff a lot on here? I complain a lot because I usually record it in my car because it's the most acoustically perfect space. I can't do video like that.

But a lot of the podcast is just me going, this family is making it hard for me to look after my family. Yeah, I mean. But you have older kids. Yeah, my kids are 16, 13, and 6. Oh, I'd say older. I forgot you had a 6. They're a six so old yeah they're so hard um but i don't know man you when you're like crisscrossing with other like on you're meeting

a lot of these comics yeah and stuff like that and then you when you get the idea that they're trying to like like get away from their family a little bit yes makes me fucking sick to my stomach fam i am yeah i find it just fucking revolting and i get so homesick i get so homesick and i act like such a fucking baby about it yeah it's nuts well it's so nice to be nestled in my dream is like i get the rv or well the dream is the catamaran and then i can only perform in coastal cities but the family's in the boat and we just sail up to the next oh hello santa monica yeah and then you can do places like uh like isn't monte carlo doesn't there like a port there and stuff like yes probably it's very expensive you do high-end places like that yes books ah that's just imagine that imagine we're

going around the northern part of the med. Maybe we'll risk a gig in Libya, who can say, but I think we'll probably be northern. And then you come back and you go, I don't know why everybody says all that shit about Libya. It was actually pretty chill. It's very free. It's probably not what it's based on. Liberty. Pretty sure. I think it's ironic when you call like a

like a big guy you know shorty you know that's great that's great okay yeah because it was is it Liberia

is the one that America set up America bought just land and said if any ex-slaves want to go and have their own country

it's over there now is that real yeah no that sounds like a message board post. No, that's a legit... I think their flag is just one star and otherwise the American flag.

I was reading about their... Whoa, they set up a daycare for black people? I don't know that they looked after it that much. They were just like, you're on your own. And I watched the video thinking like, if it was all like ex-black American slaves, would you look at the video and they'd be all like

yo everybody what's up but no they all have a strong accent African accent they just they got the accent back when they went over

they got the accent back oh no yeah that's crazy damn I wonder if they're just doing the same shit as black people in America

I'm not gonna explore that at all achieving it's black history month we wanna say black history month I make it maybe it's different when I make a fist but I'm not going to explore that at all. Achieving. It's Black History Month. We want to say Black History Month. Maybe it's different when I make a fist,

but I want everyone to know that it's a Black Power fist. Black Panthers, school lunches. I love black people. The important thing that I wanted to say, the traveling and the family. Yes, they want to get away. My wife is not one of these, get the husband out of the house. I'm holding it down.

I love being there. So painful. She loves having me. That's really difficult. So on my road to the catamaran, if I could get, I'm going, I think, back to Australia for a couple months and then coming back to America. And if I can have club dates by then and an RV, if we can get a motor home and I just put my family in there

and we drive and we do something beautiful as a family and it's big enough that my wife can homeschool the oldest kids and then we and then I go out

to the gig and back wouldn't that be tremendous yeah that gets me fired up man Cincinnati that's the dream I don't know

how it's financially possible but we're gonna figure it out that's just the detail everyone I know who know how it's financially possible, but we're going to figure it out. That's just a detail, dude. Everyone I know who has a lot of money, they say money's the easy part. Yes, everyone I know without money says, man, my life is so hard right now.

It's, oh, mercy. The path, and I just keep coming back in my heart and then i i can't escape i think i have to make your favorite of the iterations of the real parthenon that went through all those changes which one do you think was obviously got to represent for church yeah got to stand up for church but i mean that original first parthenon like when they cut the ribbon on Parthenon number one, that would have been really nice to see. Yeah, it was probably a nice little ceremony. Yeah, I think we bombed it.

Someone bombed it in one of the wars. Such a fucking dick move. Yeah. You know. Well, it was... Maybe they bombed it, actually. I don't know who bombed the Parthenon. They false flagged the Parthenon?

To enact bomb control? There's certainly craggy bits. Have you ever been to Greece? No. Ever been to Europe? No, I haven't. Have you? No.

Well, I went to England. I went to England. But I've never been to Europe. No. I've been to Japan. That's my only... Oh, my brother's in Japan right now. He's having such a nice time.

What's he doing? Pervert stuff? It's been great hanging out with you this weekend. I've had a really nice time. It's, uh, I'm, I was a, I didn't know what to expect. Nashville, at Zanis. I just knew I wanted the hoodie. And now I have the hoodie.

Yeah, it's an honor. But it's been, it's been so sweet and so nice. It's a very big club. There's a lot of people there. It makes me very nervous. It's so much bigger than I thought it was when I was on stage. It goes back deep into the corners. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a lot of people there it's so much bigger than i thought it was when i was on stage it goes back deep into the corners yeah it's a very big room and i net you didn't come out with us but nashville like the broadway like the honky tonks and stuff like that i went to and it's crazy it's just it's just too much partying if i like that kind of music it would

be like heaven i assume this is like Georgia for the whites. Atlanta. Atlanta for white people. Atlanta for white people. Yeah, it's Atlanta for fat white sluts. Yes. So many bridal parties coming to Nashville. Just getting absolutely...

All in pink, on a big bus, lots of saying woo. Vomiting on the sidewalk. Yeah, I didn't see that. I'd love to see that that was later I was getting the Uber home I'm only seeing them earlier in the day

when they're having a great time I'm not getting the yang to that beautiful svelte yin although I did try and go to the Taylor Swift

Education Center because outside the Country Music Hall of Wonders whatever it is the Country Music Museum

it says on this big wall the taylor swift education center and i had this i thought i was going to go in there with my dad and learn about taylor swift and he'd come out and say something like you know i learned that she's a big slut i don't know but it turns out it's not education about taylor swift it's by taylor swift oh no it's even worse. She bought classrooms. No. And she, so kids, inner city kids or something go and they.

Five hours of dating advice every day for inner city children. Football player. Yeah, rich. Rich football player. You can try dating

all the weak, spindly, Harry Styles' of the world, but only, is he a wide receiver, Kelsey? I don't know,

I don't know what he plays. I'm sorry. I'm trying to follow the football. Do you have a sport that is your main? Yeah, I like MMA. Oh, really? Yeah. Do you fight yourself?

I've been training for years. I actually looked on your Instagram yesterday, and I saw you having a beautiful time, presumably with your children. Yeah. In karate outfits. Yeah, we do jujitsu together. Oh, very nice very nice yeah that's pretty cool but uh yeah so that's the only like sports stuff that i really follow is combat sports

who's your favorite combatant who's my favorite combatant uh all time there was a russian guy his name was fedor emilianenko i don't know him at all. Yeah, so he was like, he fought in Japan in like the early 2000s and mid-2000s. And he was just like a, like almost like a Russian guy. He was shaped almost like a dock worker. Like just a big, no muscle definition whatsoever. Just big. And completely stoic to the point that you almost thought he might be like retarded or have like brain damage. Never even a facial expression.

And he was undersized for heavyweight. And he fought in Japan where people were just abusing steroids openly. Right. And he was fighting giants and monsters. And he was beating the fuck out of them. He was mercilessly smashing the biggest steroid fiends on the planet. And it was my... And this is before the UFC gets going.

So he doesn't get to capitalize. Yeah, it was actually kind of tragic because the UFC rose to prominence and became the biggest promotion. And they had like Brock Lesnar. And they could never make a deal to get Fedor into the UFC to see what was really up. Yeah.

And it's, I mean, it's one of the great tragedies. And then. Is this a stain on Brock Lesnar's legacy that he would never around and find out? No, it would, no, it would have just been like the biggest moment.

Yeah. Brock was eventually exposed as just like a fucking ridiculously strong wrestler. And he got beat the fuck up a couple of times too. But once he gets him on the mat, he's. Yeah. Yeah.

True. Obviously. Have you seen the picture of his daughter yeah what a beautiful young lady it's very cool the um i was told about an mma fighter uh wife's mother's husband i think stepfather-in-law his lovely guy he was driving me across New Zealand to get to an airport and we were talking about and it's like the most American looking man like barrel chested

huge mustache he was in the early 2000s do you know who I'm talking about he was huge and he was like a picture of a person

he's like I couldn't believe it I felt like he was a fighter he's a fighter. He's like the... I couldn't believe it. I felt like... And he was a fighter? He's a fighter. Was it Don Fry or Dan Severn or... I've got my phone recording the damn thing.

It's got to be one of those two dudes. If there was a... I couldn't believe it. The thickness of the mustache. Yeah, that'd be Don Fry, I bet. Yeah. Can I show you a picture of him? Yeah, yeah, please.

Because when I saw a picture of this man, I felt... I felt like I was of a different species. Yeah. And it was very upsetting. Was it this dude? That was that dude. Yeah, it was Don Fry.

Yeah. But he was also of that, apparently he was great and just his prime did not coincide with the UFC making heaps and heaps of money. It's unbelievable. Yeah. And who knows how that would have gone. he was also in japan fighting at the same

time with all those fucking monsters there's actually a legendary fight each other i don't know i don't recall but there's a legendary uh it's now it's just like a gif but like there's a he was fighting a japanese guy i forget his name is probably like fucking takanada or something like that and they they each had a half clinch so they're each reaching behind the other one's head with one arm yeah and with their free hand it was just and they and they stand and they just exchange bop bop bops for it feels like five minutes it's the it's one of the craziest things anyone's ever seen in a fight i'd like to see that that's don fry he's the man what something was happening he has a podcast now by the way about like being like the ultimate man like it's about like traditional masculinity yeah i mean if ever there was a brand for that

guy to i'm glad that he's not thank god he actually did that saving the environment i'm glad he's going with i mean there's there's also just no way even if I do everything he does I can be 1% as masculine as Don Fry it would have had to start in your early childhood I think I think I would have had to start

by selecting different parents number one you think genetically you just want to be shocked I don't know I don't know I'm such a big I just want to

I want to be gay again I want to bring back the gay want to I want to be gay again I want to bring back the guy I don't want to lose it Okay so that is kind of like I don't know That's almost like a guiding principle for me Is like Avoiding

Avoiding thinking I have something important Going on in my brain Yeah You know Just absolutely Trying to lower my IQ You know I don't

I don't want to get distracted by ever thinking i have like an important thing to say comedically or like a point to make i find that this is so funny because it's the opposite with like british british comedians are often dumber off stage than they are on stage like they're doing the smartest version of themselves where they're performing and then American comedians time and time again that's good manners well it's like

put your best foot forward but over and over again there are American like just talk about like a rash on their dick for 45 minutes

on stage and then they get off stage and they're like you know I was just reading Foreign Affairs and I'm not sure if we should be exporting this jet to... Wow, so I can't question anything the IDF does

without being called an anti-Semite. And then he goes on stage and just... So my wife and I had a diarrhea miscarriage. And then you come off interest rates have to change. But that's also I think that's they're both attempting to be respectful to the audience

in different ways in that like the British people like you deserve an intellect you guys got in the car to come here you should see

my thinking and it's fine and then the American community is like I don't want to leave anyone behind it's so egalitarian it's like if your stuff is only for smart people don't want to leave anyone behind it's so egalitarian it's like

if your stuff is only for smart people it ain't smart and I'm going to reach out and I'm going to touch everybody as a gift to the people here tonight I'm going to leave

no child left behind yeah I don't know am I supposed to be thinking about it that much am I supposed to no but I'm the outsider so I get to have the view

I'm spinning out you're just Zizekian trapped in the ideology of your country I'm just screaming at people while they're have the view. I'm spinning out. You're just Zizekian trapped in the ideology of your country. I'm just screaming at people while they're eating mozzarella sticks. You know what I mean? I could wear a suit.

So many Americans have told me some version of, my job is to sell beer. Yeah. My job is to keep people in a room and sell them beer. I seriously just have to make people not leave while they eat a pretty substandard meal. That's all. I will say the food at Zany's has been incredible.

And the food at, what's it called? Ah, the Cleveland one. So that's what it is. Hilarities. Hilarities. I didn't want to end in E's again.

I thought that must be me making a mistake, but Hilarities was also, food was incredible, but I'm told. He's also one of the original builders of the Parthenon hilarious nick the old greek man the nowhere else i'm told has good food these are the only great yeah the rest of it is pretty insulting food but i'm happy to have seen the good food before i venture out on the street i had onion rings last night they were incredible they're soft pretzels are you still are you still amazed by just a lot of American food that you encounter

I'm having a pop tart right now and I can't believe that it's seasonal sausage is different in this country it's a fattier meat if you get the

sausage muffin in Australia at McDonald's it's basically it's just the normal meat patty with like a different you know

salt on it like a burger patty it's like a normal burger patty but when you get the sausage it's like looser it's fattier

it's more grey dude I was attacked by a homeless man why I was fighting for my life that would help you it was random

it was random you're just walking down the street and a homeless guy attacked you it was random middle of the day downtown

crowded lots of traffic and a guy just walked into my field of view and sucker punched me. I say sucker. I was facing him, but I was on the phone with my dad. It was so long ago. It was a Blackberry.

I was on a Blackberry talking to my dad. You got a haymaker to the face? Yeah, caught one right in the kisser. And it was so unexpected that I wasn't even sure what happened and i i took a big step back and i see the guy coming back in and so first thing i did was i whipped the phone i threw the phone at him i don't even remember made contact but we made contact again eventually and we he he tries to like pull me into the street like We go over the hood of a cab into the middle of the street, and we tussle. And there's a big group of probably 30 to 50 people standing around just watching.

Just watching the fight? Yeah. And this dude's clearly like zombie homeless. Yeah. And I'm in business casuals, and people are just like, well, let's see how this plays out. Is this where you figured out that you wanted to do fighting? No. I had been training for a couple years. Oh years so this is like at some point i got to do this is the dream yeah like yeah oh if you have a break and there's 30 people imagine if a guy

came at me like this and the guy came at me like yeah i got to do all my stuff that's every much sweat dream is man one day i'm gonna get into a fight he's coming at me like this no way and it's going to be perfectly reasonable for me to defend myself did you win the fight? yeah but it was like really upsetting I didn't enjoy it I thought I was gonna feel so cool in the fantasy I was gonna feel so

fucking cool I was gonna do cool moves I was gonna like really fuck someone up it is the sex parallel I just kind of like did some very simple stuff and possibly injured his shoulder and just like looked around i had this dude held down and i was just looking around like are you guys seriously just like watching like and thankfully uh a cop was close enough by or no a cop was coming out of a pizza place and saw it and helped me get him like cuffed

Or I helped him get him cuffed. Yeah, and it was just like the worst experience ever I got I got up. My my dad was still on the phone. He heard the whole thing Oh, I got hit man He thought I got hit by a car and died and he was screaming for someone to please pick up the phone on the ground So my fantasy completely fell apart the city of brotherhood it was the worst ever i was like i was like my voice was shaking on the phone i'm okay i couldn't even dude man it was not cool i mean the alternative if you hadn't been doing martial arts at that point is you just you get, you get, you get savagely beaten by an arm star.

Yeah, he felt like, he felt like crazy strong, like on drugs. He had that meth strength. Yeah. Crack power. PCP fucking Bane. It was nuts. But yeah, so it wasn't cool. I think that's a beautiful note to end the podcast on.

What a beautiful story. Have you ever told that on stage? Not on stage. I've told it on a podcast. I don't know. It just seems too much like I don't want to tell a story about winning a fight. It would be funnier if I lost. Yeah, but you don't really.

It's like the opposite to Rocky where he loses the fight, but he wins in his heart. But in your version of the Philadelphia boxing story, you win the fight, but it's ultimately tarnished by having to hurt a homeless guy's shoulder on the ground. Left an indelible mark on me. Oh, baby. I'm so sorry that happened to you. James Donald Forbes McCann, Catamaran Plan, merch coming out soon.

Going to go to the Parthenon today. Timothy Butterly, an honor and a privilege. Brother, what a pleasure. Thank you. If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you.

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Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. I'm Jessi Kirkshank, and on my podcast, Phone a Friend, I break down the biggest stories in pop culture. But when I have questions, I get to phone a friend. I phone my old friend, Dan Levy.

You will not die hosting the Hills after show. I get thirsty for the hot wiggle. I didn't even know a thirsty man until there was all these headlines. And I get schooled by a tween. Facebook is like a no. That's what my grandma's on. Thank God Phone a Friend with Jessie Crookshank is not available on Facebook. It's out now wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts.

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