The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan - War is Imminent

Episode Date: May 1, 2022

The scattering seeds across Australia tour is over. Phase one is well under way. We will buy me a boat.This is the first of two episodes to come out this week. Listen on to find out what splendid stuff is coming during the second episode.Current patreon members, your mug is coming soon. People about to become a patreon member, there's never been a worse time to join the patreon (you're too late to get a mug), but it's still a good idea: https://www.patreon.com/jdfmccann Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan. If you'd like to listen to bonus episodes, go sign up to the Patreon. That's patreon.clom. Clom? Ah, we f***ed it. Anyway, look, you'll find a way. Catamaran Home! War is imminent! At least that's how it felt to me when I went to the Australian War Memorial in Canberra with my family.

They didn't say war was imminent, but boy oh boy oh boy, do you get the vibe that we are just locked into having horrible, cruel wars forever and ever. And that there's nothing we can do to improve anything. wars forever and ever and that there's nothing we can do to improve anything hello i'm james donald forbes mccann and welcome to the james donald forbes mccann catamaran plan look there was that there was a big push of optimism at the end of the first world war wasn't there with all those monuments to what they then did not call the first world war anticipating that there would not be another that they had indeed had the war that would end all wars. Big, beautiful Art Deco monuments, love them, the names of the dead, incredible. Not as many of those monuments after World War II, it must be said.

It must be said that there's not as many, and that the ones that we have aren't quite, oh, they don't have the same sort of artistic flourishes. aren't quite, oh, they don't have the same sort of artistic flourishes. That World War II really belted the post-modernism into us. Oh, there's a war coming. I know it. I don't know it. I feel it.

That's just the vibe I got. Canberra was great, though. Oh, it was lovely being in Canberra. It was so nice being in Canberra, handing out the flyers to people, putting flyers in apartment buildings, right? Putting the flyers in the busy city streets. Well, busy city, bit of a stretch with Canberra. A friend that I caught up with in Canberra, he said, oh, Canberra makes Adelaide look like a thriving metropolis.

And it's not easy. It's not easy to make Adelaide look like a thriving metropolis. And it's not easy. It's not easy to make Adelaide look like a thriving metropolis. That was Canberra. Canberra was a great time. Terrifying war memorial. You know, lest we forget, indeed. Head along to there. See if you can forget.

Then after Canberra, where did we go? We went to, we drove past Gundagai and had what I don't mind telling you was the worst McDonald's experience of my life. God bless those people. They had a young boy on who didn't know what he was doing who reminded me of me when I was working in McDonald's. But I, the other people were working very hard around it, but he just had a vacant stare, and everyone was stopping at the Gundagai McDonald's because it was a long drive

from Gundagai to Albury, Albury to Shepparton. We did that in one night. And then from Shepparton through to Ballarat back home. And we put the, in most places along the way, there are now some James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran planned posters and flyers. We got rid of a huge number of those. But with the kids and the holiday and time and the expense, we were just like, oh, it's been a lot.

Let's get home. Let's get home. And then on the final bit of the drive home, the Crowe boys had a terrible, terrible loss. And I was hearing that through patchy AM radio on the drive. Man, there's not a lot. There's not a lot once you get past a certain point in Victoria, until you get to Talon Bend, until you get to Murray Bridge, until you get to those beautiful hills. It's good to be back home. One must have a home base. Even when I have a boat, I'd like to have a domicile. I do believe.

Listen, that's enough rambling around for the introduction. We have important things to get through. Where are my keys? I can't jingle my keys to start the meeting. Okay, well, I'll just clunk the beautiful Cooper's sparkling ale I'm having. Here we go. Let's begin this meeting. Number one, war is imminent.

Yes, I think we've covered that. I think we've covered that and the posters that went up, scattering seeds across the country. I've checked. The posters have now been scanned 67 times. So that's from all over the country. We've got 67 scans and it's taking off. People are reaching out to me asking for the poster to put up in their town.

Places I haven't even been now have the poster. Anna Freer in Switzerland. Wonderful Anna Freer has put a poster up in a disabled toilet in Switzerland. Hello, Swiss disabled listeners. Thank you so much for listening. 67 scans. That's 67 different people embarking on a James Donald Forbes, McCann, Catamaran planned journey.

It's wonderful to have you here. We've got to figure out how to get more of those up. We can plan that in the future. By the way, for anyone who's just listening to this and doesn't know what's going on, hello, my name's James Donald Forbes McCann. And this, well, I've told you it's called the Catamaran Plan, but it's the podcast where we work together to get me a boat. We're looking for about $500,000. And a lot of that money comes through Patreon, which gets us to topic number two on today's meeting, the mugs. Over the last month, we've been running a campaign that I'm going to make a hand-drawn mug for every patron that I have on Patreon. We started out with zero people on Patreon in December. Over the course of December, we ended up

getting it up to $50. I think we had about four people. We were getting about $50 a month. I've got it written out here. By January, that had come up to $86. In March, that had come up to $124. And I don't mind telling you that for the month of April, by the end of April, $240 per month, 25 patrons, outstanding, outstanding stuff. I mean, this is a podcast that is yet to see one single dollar of advertising revenue. And yet we're making serious money, not enough, you know, to do a grocery shop in today's inflationary environment. I'm just kidding, we probably could do two grocery shop in today's inflationary environment. I'm just, again, we probably could do two grocery shops, but $240 a month is outstanding. Now, not counting inflation, we need to get to $817 to afford a boat in my lifetime. That would be $817 a month. And then

with my life expectancy, I would be able to die. I would be able to buy a boat on the day I die, basically. So we're well on our way to that. We're over a quarter on our way. Isn't that a joy? Thank you to everybody who's joined the Patreon. Feel free to join the Patreon even now. You won't get a mug, right? Because that time has passed.

You had your chance. But you will get wonderful episodes of the James Donald Forbes, McCann Catamaran Plan, Sailing Club Captain's Log, because I thought that James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan wasn't a long enough name for the secret podcast, so we've added a couple extra words to that as well. Now, let's get to the meat and potatoes.

This is not the only podcast on the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan that's coming out this week. You'll be happy to know. Man, I feel manic. I feel weird. I feel hot. I'm going to take my jumper off. Okay. It was the war stuff.

It was the war memorial stuff. It spooked me. And things happening, you know, I continued to recover from my circumcision. We've got this young family. We've got financial pressures. Inflation. Don't own a house. Won't be able to buy a house.

Won't be able to rent. Anyway, that's me in September's problem when the lease runs out. For the time being, we're just working hard. Hardly working? No, we're just working hard. Hardly working? Nah, we're working pretty hard. And I've discovered a militancy within myself. Fear has led me to preparedness. And things are taking shape in my brain

as to how we're going to expedite the James Donald Forbes McCann catamaran plan. Now, I think 22 episodes or something we've had. We've had a number of episodes and it's been a joy. We've grown together. We've been learning things, you know, learning things about how to make a podcast, learning things about when a computer breaks down. How to interview people. I'm not a very good interviewer, but I think I'm getting better at it. Learning about clout.

I've learned that writing open letters to people is not a very good way to get on their podcast. Writing private letters to people is such a better way. I think if it's an open letter, people think you're making fun of them or something. I've never made fun of anyone in those open letters. Honestly, well, maybe a little bit, but not in a serious way. I mean, I want to get on all of their bloody podcasts. If anything, I was licking too much ass. Listen, I apologize.

That was crass. The important thing is I think the open letters was a failed experiment. I'm not saying we're going to stop doing it, but I've done, what, seven, eight of them, and not one has resulted in me going on someone else's podcast. Not to say that I'm not going on other people's podcasts coming up, but that is nothing to do with the open letters that I've been writing and delivering on this podcast. What I'm trying to say is we've learned things. We're discovering things. The methodology.

First podcast episode, episode zero. It's just me having a yarn with some lads, having a good time. Then we've made a little more structured, a little looser, you know, a little more structured again. Oh, the plans. We've tried giving a dollar to everybody who shares a story.

That was not successful. We've tried talking about not being successful. That was actually, weirdly, a more successful episode. We've had that art auction. That was very successful. We're doing a lot of things and we're experimenting. And this I call phase one. That's what we're in now. I didn't know

we were in phase one. I just thought we'd hold on. Why is that going off? Aha. Stop. I don't know why. Oh, that would have been my alarm. That would have been my alarm waking me up at 7.45 this morning that didn't. And I didn't think about it because I was woken up before then anyway. And I'd accidentally set it to PM. What a silly boy I am, recording this podcast once again on Sunday evening before it goes out the Monday morning. Okay, phase one is what I'm talking about. I didn't know we were in phase one.

I just knew I was making a podcast and we were experimenting and moving forward. I think now I can see that we are in a phase that will come to an end at some point, an experimentationary phase, if that's a word. And what we are going to do is we're gonna crystallize that down. We're going to keep trying,

but when the time comes and we know what works and we can see the formula coming together, that's when it's time to enter phase two. There will be time to talk about phase two later. And there's a phase three. And then I think phase four, I have a catamaran and we do something there.

But I think phase one, I just want to, that's another seed. We're planting a lot of seeds, but this is phase one. Okay, next thing I want to discuss. Well, so this is part of phase one, long form interviews. I noticed that a lot of people are doing long form interviews on their podcasts. Now, I conducted an interview before we went on the Scattering Seeds tour of the country to Canberra and back via Wagga Wagga, etc. And I recorded an interview with James Hennessy.

I used to work with James at Pedestrian. We sat next to each other, really enjoyed his company. He's a very smart man. And he's a great Twitter user. He's got a big following on Twitter. and he's a great Twitter user. He's got a big following on Twitter. And so I reached out to him, and I said, hello, I like your newsletter, The Terminal. Would you come on my podcast about buying a boat? And he said, sure.

And then we had a great interview. It went for an hour. I've edited it down to about 40 minutes. That will be coming out on Wednesday. We do not really discuss catamarans at all. It's a more, I guess you would say, traditional podcast. I talk about the things he's doing. We talk about Elon Musk and Twitter and free speech and the things that he's an expert in.

And I just, I thought it was a really good chat. We're going to put that out on the catamaran plan. And who knows, maybe, you know, because it's the same ad money if I'm talking about catamarans or not, right? Like if I'm talking about the catamaran plan, listen, it's the catamaran plan, but the content could be anything. If there's an ad and the money goes to the boat, I could be, I don't know, telling erotic short stories. I could be, it could be no talking at all. It could just be me going, you know? So I thought, let's talk. Let's get that value. I'll talk to interesting people, get them on the podcast. I'll keep doing the catamaran plan style general meeting podcast every Monday,

but it has bonuses to push them out as well and to get more people listening to it and to get more ad money and a catamaran faster, even though they're longer form. Let's start doing these interviews. The James Hennessy one is the first one. I thought it was a great chat. We'll see.

Maybe people will reach out to me and they'll say, hello, James. I listened to your interview with James Hennessy. I followed him on Twitter and I saw that there was a new interview with him out and I was so charmed by the way you interviewed him. I thought, let me listen to more of this catamaran plan.

What a pleasant surprise that was. And now I've binged 15 episodes and you're at the top of the charts because i've given you 15 download points bravo to you or maybe people will get in contact with me and say hey jdfm doing the jdfm cp uh i come here to the catamaran plan i'll have you know for catamaran plan related content only. I don't download so that you can have a chin wag with some guy I don't even know. You have lost me forever. I will never listen again.

And we'll see what happens. See what the downloads are like. We're experimenting. It's phase one. Let's see if it works. I would love to do more interviews with people. I would love to experiment with all sorts of plans. That's what phase one's all about. Let's see what works. Let's see what doesn't. Let's take a break with the open letters this week. We've experimented with it. It hasn't been successful.

You know, it is a, if insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different result. Well, then I choose this week to do something same and not do an open letter. I will make up for it. I will write many private letters trying to get on people's podcast and see if that is more successful. And if you're upset that I'm not doing a public letter this week, let me say to you, well, here's an open letter, an open letter to you, the person upset that I'm not doing a public letter this week. Let me say to you, well, here's an open letter. An open letter to you, the person upset that I'm not doing an open letter. Please get me on someone's podcast.

That's the number one way to get clout, to get downloads, to grow this podcast, to make that money off the advertising. You, dear listener, who loves the open letters segment, if you want to bring it back, get me on someone's podcast. Prove that these open letters work, please. Here are some affirmations to close it on out. I affirm that we're going to keep innovating. We're going to keep trying. We're going to keep being creative, at least for phase one, until we lock down and become regimented and laser focused for phase two. Oh, and we've got some big things planned. But phase

one, I affirm that we're going to keep an open heart. We're going to keep good vibes. We're going to keep good feelings. Oh, I love you. I really do. I love you very much, dear listener. For the 25 people who have joined the Patreon, I want to say thank you so much. For the additional people who might want to join the Patreon this week, I thank you perhaps even more because you are not getting a special mug. Oh, you'll be getting something further down the line, I'm sure. But a mug is not one of the thing.

Unless I do another mug. I affirm that I'm going to make at least those 25 mugs this week. 25 patrons, 25 mugs. I affirm. I think Thursday is the day I'm going to go out and get those mugs and all the equipment

and send those mugs out. I love you. I love you wherever you are. We've got fans all over the world. And so a very special shout out here at the end to those Swiss disabled fans I mentioned before. Goodbye for now, my wonderful Swiss disabled listeners. And to fans in Loxton, Renmark, Mildura, hey,

Wagga Wagga, Canberra, Shepparton, Ballarat, I love ya, I miss ya, I need ya. Thank you for joining the James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan Adventure. New episode coming Wednesday.

Special interview about all those exciting things with James Hennessy. Have a good one. Keep it real. Much love. Catamaran Ho. Hey! War is imminent. Gemini. Anyone who knows me knows the Pixel has always been my favorite out of all the phones I've ever had. Now with Gemini built in, it's basically my personal AI assistant. Since I'm truly terrible at keeping up with emails, I use Gemini to give me summaries of my inbox, which is a lifesaver. And if I'm feeling stuck creatively, I just ask Gemini for help and bam, instant inspiration. You can learn more about Google Pixel 9 at store.google.com.