The Jamie Kern Lima Show - Gabby Bernstein: Master Manifesting & Breaking Through, “This is Your Chance to Change Your Life.”

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

Full Video Available on YouTube @JamieKernLimaOfficial. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prompt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷  Make sure to click the “Follow” button for the show on your favorite podcast app, so you’ll be the first to get each episode!  ____ Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prompt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷   Make sure to click the “Follow” button for the show on your favorite podcast app, so you’ll be the first to get each episode!  ____ Are you ready to master manifesting, release those negative thoughts and patterns holding you back, and become your own inner healer? Renowned spiritual teacher, highly sought-after speaker, and #1 New York Times bestselling author Gabby Bernstein is here to share this Self-Help Masterclass with YOU!   Gabby has been hailed as a “next-generation thought leader," by Oprah Winfrey. She’s the author of nine bestselling books including The Universe Has Your Back, and today, I’m so excited to share she’s releasing her 10th book called “Self-Help: This is your chance to change your life.” And today, she might just change yours with this incredible conversation packed with tools and tips you can apply to your life today!  Episode Reflection Questions for YOU: Jamie writes prompt questions each episode to spark revelations in your self-worth journey and help you apply the tools and lessons from each episode into your real life right now. Please make sure you’re signed up for Jamie’s free inspirational newsletter  jamiekernlima.com 👈 Get my new book WORTHY plus FREE Bonus gifts including a 95+ page Worthy Workbook and more at WorthyBook.com  For more resources related to today’s episode, click here https://jamiekernlima.com/show/ for the podcast episode page. This episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show contains mention of sensitive topics, including child abuse. Our aim is to approach this topic with sensitivity and respect, but viewer discretion is advised.   For 24/7 hotline access to the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline, call 1-800-422-4453.  Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show  3:45 You Manifested This Moment 16:05 Your Story Is What Will Heal You 19:15 “Spiritually Bankrupt” 21:35 Revelations On Addiction 28:05 Self-Help Starts Here 34:45 The Root Of Addictive Behaviors It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Click Here to Subscribe to the YouTube Channel Follow me here:  Instagram TikTok Facebook Website —  Sign up for my inspirational newsletter for YOU at: jamiekernlima.com  —  Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!  WORTHY Believe IT

I believe that if someone's watching us right now, they manifested this moment. It was cocaine, it was alcohol, it was work addiction, it was love addiction. And all of these addictions are the exact same because they have the same root cause. I was just empty on the inside, totally spiritually bankrupt. And I heard an inner dialogue, an inner voice, an inner guidance say get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams. I'm gonna jump out of my seat. You said it and I felt my whole body viscerally

that for the person that's like doubting themselves right now, but they've actually lived it, what you just called out is so good. The TikTok manifesting is a bunch of bullshit. No amount of green juice or mouth taping or whatever is gonna make you a super attractor. The new manifesting flex. Yeah, baby.

Yes, yes, I love this. And this already feels like also manifesting masterclass. Are you ready to master manifesting and become your own inner healer. Gabby Bernstein has been hailed as a next generation thought leader. She's also the creator and host of the podcast Dear Gabby. And today, I am so excited to share

that she's releasing her 10th book called Self Help. This is your chance to change your life. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima! Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima! Are you ready to master manifesting? Release those negative thoughts and patterns holding

you back and become your own inner healer? Renowned spiritual teacher, highly sought after speaker and number one New York Times bestselling author, Gabby Bernstein has been hailed as a next generation thought leader by Oprah. Bernstein is the author of nine bestselling books, including The Universe Has Your Back. She's also the creator and host of the podcast Dear Gabby, where she connects with her community and offers insightful real-time coaching, straight talk, and a whole lot of big love.

I can tell you from personal experience when you're in the room with Gabby, you feel big love. She co-hosted the Guinness World Records Largest Guided Meditation with Deepak Chopra. And today I am so excited to share that she's releasing her 10th book called Self Help. This is your chance to change your life. Gabi Bernstein, welcome to the Jamie Curren Lima Show. It's the best place to be today. The best place to be today. change your life. Gabby Bernstein, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show. It's the best place to be today. The best place to be today.

Thank you. I'm so excited for this conversation and just right off the bat, I wanna say for everyone listening, whether it is manifesting, how to manifest things that you want in your life or tapping into or calling on your spirit guides or learning how to take steps forward and becoming an inner healer and healing your life.

There are millions of people that go to you and that are inspired and impacted by you and their journeys along the way from so many of your bestselling books, Spirit Junkie, The Universe Has Your Back, so many of them, to all the different tools. We're gonna dive into so much today, which I'm really excited about. But just right off the top, for the person who maybe is in the beginning of this journey in their life, can you talk about the role of manifesting? And what is it, how do we do it? How does it impact our life? I believe that the role of manifesting is our natural role.

It's who we are meant to be. We are meant to live with wild synchronicities. We are meant to feel with wild synchronicities. We are meant to feel flow in our life. We are meant to expect greatness and receive it. And we're meant to really witness the obstacles in our life as detours in the right direction. Being a super-attractor, as I call it, doesn't mean that our life is perfect, but it means that we lean into optimism, that that becomes our default, that we have the faith that there is a presence beyond us that is working on our behalf, guiding us and protecting us and showing us where to go and what to do.

And this is the natural order, period. This is my truth, my faith, my beliefs, and everyone can take what they want, but I'm going to stand in the seat of what I know. And I believe that if someone's watching us right now, they manifested this moment. They had a desire inside that said, I want to lean into something more positive. I want to see the world through a different lens. They felt that spark of inspiration from you, from this show, from the momentum behind the show. And so they were magnetized towards it. And that's manifestation. It's that we attract what we

believe and we attract what we desire when we are open to receive those desires. And truly really what ends up happening in our life is we have all these difficult experiences in our life, which we'll talk about today. And those difficult experiences build up blocks to that super attractor power. So that power never left us. We are super attractors. Manifesting is natural. Manifesting is real. But we have had a lot of experiences in our life that have really built up beliefs that have gotten in the way of that power. You know, we hear so many references to manifesting. So there's people that think like, OK, I'm going to manifest a million dollars. I'm going to manifest a life partner.

And then there's people that are worried like, oh, my gosh, I keep having these negative thoughts in my head. And then it happened. Did I manifest a bad thing? Can you kind of break it down on just how we tap into, as you said, like who we are as a super attractor, how we can actually see that part of ourselves. And is manifesting something that you can control? Is it something you can say, I only want to manifest great things, but I don't want to

manifest bad things? All those questions. Well, I think that's a common question is but I don't want to manifest bad things? All those questions. Well, I think that's a common question is, if I'm thinking bad thoughts, am I manifesting bad things? And it's not, I want to just pull that back and calm everybody down. It's really when those negative thoughts become beliefs. Because the beliefs, we manifest what we believe.

And the beliefs that we carry create an energetic resonance inside of us. And that energy is emitting off of us. And people are picking up that energy and people are focusing on that energy. And it becomes what we put out that we receive back. So if you have negative thoughts and you keep thinking negative thoughts, okay, there's plenty of books I've written. There's plenty of podcasts you've done.

You've written your incredible book worthy. There are tools out there that we can use to unwind and nurture those thoughts and not let them take over. But it's when those thoughts become beliefs that they begin to manifest in our life. Ooh, okay, I just wanna stop, cause this is so big.

This is so big for a lot of people because in my community, I get so many DMs, so many messages, so many questions, and a lot of people are really just starting this journey of saying, okay, wait, maybe this is real. Maybe manifesting is real. There's people that for a long time have thought, no, that's not a thing. There's also people reconciling, how do I fit in manifestation with my faith practice?

So a lot of people are really, this is such a big topic. I know you have spent so many years as a leader expert in this whole field. And for a lot of people, they're discovering this in their lives through so much of your amazing work, maybe even through this show today. And so this is a really big thing that you just... a really big point you just made that, you know, because a lot of people worry, oh, gosh, like, you know, if I start thinking those things are going to happen, if I... if I... there's people that worry

if I think my football team's going to lose for a second and then they miss the thing, I manifested that they missed the field goal. So what you're saying is when it goes beyond just a thought and it actually becomes your belief. That's correct. And then you manifest what you believe. That's right.

So you catch it. You catch these things and become aware before they take root and become beliefs. And that's possible to do. Yeah. It's funny. We'll get into the methods in my new book. But one of the things that I keep saying is the new book is really therapeutic, and it's really about healing the belief systems.

But what I've continuously said to people is that this is actually my biggest manifesting book, because it's not tips and tactics. It's undoing beliefs. And so we can do all the practices and the methods and the spiritual faith. And all of that is true. All of that is working. All of that will help you manifest what you desire.

I've written a lot of books on these topics. But the real manifesting, the new manifesting, the true manifesting flex is to undo the beliefs and to unburden the beliefs that block what you genuinely desire. The new manifesting flex. Yeah, baby. Yes, yes, I love this.

You're hearing this. And this already feels like also a manifesting masterclass because when you talk about the new flex and undoing the beliefs that block the manifestation, I'm so excited. I'm so excited for everyone to get their hands on Self-Health, your 10th book. We're going to go deep into it in a minute. I wanted to ask you, when it comes to manifestation, what are some of the biggest mistakes people

make? Well, I think the of the biggest mistakes people make? Well, I think the big mistakes are just people thinking like, oh, if I just write it down a thousand times, like the TikTok manifesting is a bunch of bullshit. And so people just thinking like, oh, if I write this down a thousand times, or if I, you know, there's this new thing of like aura flexing or something.

I just saw like, if I aura points or something, like if there are these people on TikTok doing these things, like if I mouth tape or if I drink green juice, like these are adding to my aura. It's like, yes, the idea that when we do good things for ourself and we feel good, we are manifesting more goodness. But it's not just about checking something off the list.

It's about accessing that presence of joy inside of you. And so no amount of green juice or mouth taping or whatever is going to make you a super attractor. It's about getting centered. It's about turning inward. It's about adjusting your belief systems. It's about holding visions that you believe in. And it's about letting yourself have fun. Fun is the secret. When we're in joy, we suspend our disbelief. And when we're in that presence of joy and that suspension of our disbelief, anything is possible. You are living proof of that. You are living proof of that.

Yeah, I love what you just said. When we are in our joy, we suspend that disbelief. That is so good. You know, I'm just thinking, Gabby are in our joy, we suspend that disbelief. That is so good. You know, I'm just thinking, Gabby, that I remember when I was first introduced to Lewis Hayes work and I started diving into it, I just realized really quickly how ahead of her time she was, how so at the forefront of things she was. And having the blessing along with you of just knowing so many different thought leaders in the space out there and then seeing so much of her work inspired so much of theirs. And with you, you know, right now, again, I know this is so much of your world,

but for so many people, it is going to be brand new today. Well, it's brand new this year. It's brand new in their life. I think so much about you that I do about Louise Hay and that you have been doing this for so long. And we're in a world, you mentioned TikTok, we're in a world where in five seconds, someone can be out there looking like an expert, and they've never actually done the thing that they're now an expert about. And what I have so much respect and admiration about with your journey in the past two decades of your life. And I remember, gosh, Gabby, I don't know how many years ago it was, but I remember sitting in the audience of an Oprah event, a big, big sold out event,

and that's where I was first introduced to your work, and you were on stage giving a talk, and this is just in you, it's what you've been doing for so long, and you, I feel like, similar to Louise, hey, you have been in so many respects so ahead of its time. And I think that's why, one of the many reasons why I'm excited that you're here today, because for people who maybe are going to be introduced to manifesting or to calling on their spirit guides,

or to even being aware of what that is, or to starting this journey of healing their life, I love that they are gonna be hearing about these concepts and how to do it from you, because this is truly like what you have done long before. People are talking about it on TikTok for 30 seconds at a time. And so I just wanna make sure to, you know, to call that out, because I think that's a really big deal in this day and age.

I think a lot of people have a hard time. You know, there's so many people that take business advice from people, but they've never actually built a business, or they take, you know, and so I just want to honor that. And I think... Well, I want to speak to that, though, because it's one thing, Jamie, to teach something because you've got an idea or you've got a personality, but it's another thing to live something.

Yes. Because the greatest teachers are not just saying it right or giving and delivering a message, they're delivering an energy. And it's an energy of knowing. Yes. And energy, and whatever field, whatever it is, whatever type of teaching, even if it's parenting, if you have lived the experience and you and your heart know to be true what it is that you offer, then it is going to resonate. And I don't think that there's, look, there's nothing wrong with manifesting or spirituality

being trendy. In fact, it's wonderful because it's a gateway, whatever it takes to get people to open their consciousness. It doesn't matter. I remember years ago Deepak and I sat together and I was like, I'm doing this practice, I'm doing this practice, is there something wrong with that?

And he goes, do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness. Mm-hmm. And I remember that forever. I mean, I just can hear his voice in my mind. It's like, however you get there, if it's a TikTok video, great. I don't care. But I do believe that when you do choose your path, however, that where you choose

your teachers and you choose your path, make sure that you you literally resonate with them in an energetic level, that there's a sensation that comes through you. One thing you just said that I want to call out that's so powerful because so many people think like, oh, I've lived this. I have the experience. I have this knowing, but I'm not, you know, a trendy person or maybe it maybe my ship is sailed or it's too late or I don't understand tick tock or this or that or Instagram.

And it's like, oh, no, what you just said, I want to call on this for the person. I'm going to jump out of my seat. You said it. I felt in my whole body viscerally that for the person that's like doubting themselves right now, but they've actually lived it. What you just called out is so good. You just said like, oh, you come at it with an energetic knowing, right?

And there is a wisdom deep in your body that will emit that someone else who might have a lot of flash and a lot of trend at the moment that you can't even worry about that because when you've lived it I don't care if you're 20 or 40 or 70 or 90 you know it you know it and you emit that energetically. Yeah it's, because I've had the experience of teaching a lot of thought leaders and giving, and I'm gonna continue to do it, actually, in this new year,

and giving really what, you know, self-impact training is actually something I'm working on this the first time I'm talking about it here. Wow, and here we go. You heard it first year. You heard it first year. So, but it's really teaching people that it's their stories that heal,

and it's their lived experience that heal. And what's nice about that is because it puts you in the seat of authenticity, and it puts you in the seat of truth, and you're no longer talking about something, you're talking from a place of knowing that this is real. Mmm. So good. So good. That right there, we're just getting started. That right there is going to change someone's life today. Yeah. That story matters too.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes. That's so good. Oh my goodness. Well, speaking of stories, you have, when you talk about living through things, when you talk about living through things, when you talk about living through things, not just teaching them, living through them, you have done that in so many ways that I think so many people can identify in their lives. And can you talk about how seeking approval from the outside world in part led you down a dangerous path, including

addiction and how that whole journey began in your life. Yeah. I mean, I've really lived a lot. I actually had this reading, this medium gave me a reading recently and she was looking at my energy and she was like, holy shit. She's like, I've never seen someone overcome this many dark nights of the soul. And it doesn't mean that people don't struggle, but she meant transcend those struggles. And I said to her, this is my greatest, my greatest experience of my life.

What I'm most proud of is my commitment to overcoming these adverse experiences and beliefs and traumas. And I'm grateful. For me, a lot of it was something I was not aware of for many, many years. I lived for so many years in this place of hypervigilance and extreme anxiety, and I didn't know for so many years why I had this anxiety or why I was so controlling or why I had to manage every area of my life. And that controlling and that managing became so extreme for me that ultimately by the time I was in my early 20s, I started my first business. I was running a PR event company. It was mostly PR for nightclubs. And I was really fast tracking my life to be seen,

to be heard, to get past the velvet ropes, say Gabby at the door. And really, I was just empty on the inside, totally spiritually bankrupt. And that running and searching and searching led me down a road of very severe addiction. And I became a cocaine addict in my early 20s. By the time I was 24, I had such a severe addiction and I just had no other choice but to start to

open my heart to something new and to the possibilities for healing. And I had these stacks of self-help books next to my bed, Jamie. They were like, Louise Hay and Marianne Williamson and Wayne Dyer, and they were all next to my bed. And I would read them at night when I was coming down from drugs, and I would journal feverishly into my journal. And I was just wanting so badly to be something different, to have something more and have a life that was real. And finally, on October 2nd, 2005, so just about 19 years ago, so just a little over 19 years ago now, I had my bottom, I hit my knees.

I was coming down from the night before and I said a prayer and I said, God, universe, who's ever out there, I need a miracle and I heard an inner dialogue, an inner voice, an inner guidance, say get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams. And that was the day that I entered a recovery program.

I went into 12 step program that day, and I made a commitment to change my life. I made a commitment to stay clean and sober. I've been clean and sober since that time. And my spiritual faith skyrocketed. Within months, I was leading spiritual talks and bringing people into my apartment to do little group workshops and doing live talks in New York City. And it was just like this, you know, what was like, you know, 50 women became 300 women.

It was mainly women at the time. You know, it was like these audience just kept growing and growing and growing. And it was way before wellness was a topic. And it was way before anyone was gluten free. And it was way before anyone really even had much spiritual faith of our generation. There was, of course, generations before us that had been transformational teachers like Louise Hay, but this was this new generation of spiritual beliefs and spiritual thinking. I'm so proud to have been at the forefront of that for our generation and have been able

to be a thought leader and a guide and a teacher. And truly the only way I've been able to continue to teach is by continuing to grow and learn. And that moment wasn't the last, right? There was a decade into my sobriety. I remembered the reason why I used in the first place. There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not gonna wanna miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth.

When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are

worthy of them, and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at WorthyBook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you.

My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours. And I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind-the-scenes content, inspirational messages,

and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jameykernlema.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. I'm so proud to have been at the forefront of that for our generation together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. I'm so proud to have been at the forefront of that for our generation and have been able to be a thought leader and a guide and a teacher. And truly the only way I've been able to continue to teach is by continuing to grow and learn. And that moment wasn't the last, right? There was

And that moment wasn't the last, right? There was a decade into my sobriety, I remembered the reason why I used in the first place. And so when we're addicted, we're running from something. When we're addicted, we're pushing down the pain with something, we're protecting against the impermissible. And I didn't know what that was. I often would say to myself, why was I gonna add it?

What was this about? But in my body I knew and in my nervous system I knew, but I didn't actually remember. And at 36, I had a memory and a dream, a memory of being abused as a child. And that dream was so real that a day or two later, I fully accepted the truth of that experience. And that became a whole new level of recovery and a whole new world of personal development and shining the crystal of genuine trauma recovery and going down the path of not just spiritual healing, but therapeutic healing.

And so these moments, these bottoms that I've hit along the way, and there's others, I don't need to give all the sob stories, but these moments of bottoms have always been these major catalysts in my life for the most transformational change. And that's been my choice. I've chosen to see these obstacles as opportunities and detours in the right direction.

I've chosen to go dive head first into these difficult experiences of whatever kind of recovery was required because I never wanted to sit in my pain. I wanted to survive. I wanted to thrive. And really what I wanted to get to, Jamie, the place, you know, we think, where can I get to? Where's the where's the there? I'm in the there right now. I'm in my there. I'm here. It's not about some big career thing. It's not about some, yes, I have an amazing life and I have an amazing career, I have an amazing husband and child and I have wonderful friends. It's not that though. That's not

the there. The there is that I feel so good inside. The there is that I am so attuned to my nervous system that I can, you know, last six months ago, I realized I was in menopause at 45. You know, like this is a whole other conversation, but like straight up, like was losing my mind. But instead of completely letting that take over me or trying to, you know, forget it or push it down or numb it out or not believe it,

because I'm so young at that age. Oh, this doesn't happen at 45. Well, you know what? I said, fuck it, let me do whatever it takes to get back to greatness. And I uncovered every obstacle and turned it into an opportunity. And now I'm like totally worked up and perfect,

feeling great again, got my brain back, got my hormones back in shape. So it's just seeing these moments of just like break down as getting us back on the right track. But we have to show up for that. Which is a choice. Yeah. Yeah. When you were in your apartment on the floor, as you say, strung out, you know, hang over all the things and you said a prayer for a miracle. And then you said you heard a voice or... An inner knowing.

Felt an inner knowing. Where do you think that comes from? Well, this is actually a great message because what I've always taught throughout my spiritual teaching has been that we all have an inner guidance system, a sense of inner wisdom. And you could call it God, you could call it Buddha nature, you could call it intuition, you could call it spirit. I don't care what you call it. I just care that you call upon it. And in the new work that I'm sharing and revealing in self-help, my new book,

it's called Self and Self with a capital S. And this is based on the principles of therapy called internal family systems therapy. And self is that nature, that inner wisdom, that inner guide. Self is the presence of compassion and connection and clarity and commitment, curiosity, these sea qualities, courage. And we all have self, we all have self, but we've just built up a wall against it. And so in that moment, that prayer is the conduit for self to come through. And so when I said that prayer, I need a miracle. That self-energy, that inner

resource, almost like an internal parent, an inner guidance system came forward and said, get clean. This is a path. Self is an inner sensation of truth. And for people who practice a specific faith, maybe they would hear that through the same knowing. For people that trust, the universe has my back. The universe, it's God, it's spirit, it's energy, it's truth. So here's my question then, you hear that voice and you hear, okay, if you get sober, you're going to have this incredible life and you feel that knowing with certainty, how do you make the decision?

Because a lot of people, I have a very close family member actually who told me, who does not believe in any type of faith and just had this huge revelation in her life where she says her God speak to her. And so, you know, a lot of people have different experiences like this. And so how do you, Gabby, know that you're feeling and hearing something, number one, and then how do you make that decision to trust it? Well, it's interesting. We ask for things consciously or unconsciously, right? So we might say, in my case, I said, I need a miracle.

Sometimes we might be thinking, well, oh, God, this isn't really working out. There has to be a better way. These are unconscious or conscious prayers. And when we put those prayers out there, always answered, and they're answered in often in different unique ways. And oftentimes it can come as a inner sensation or an inner knowing or an inner dialogue or an inner voice or an experience of what God might be to you.

And so it's our job then to listen, to listen, to take the action, to show up for what we've been receiving, to show up for the message. And these messages come to us because we've opened our hearts to receive them and we have to take the action that we might not always. Plenty of people won't take the action. Plenty of people might override the message. But it's those of us who are really in that devotional decision, that devotional desire to change that gives us the inspiration to get off of our needs and go to the meeting

or get out of our house and seek the professional support that we need and to pick up the book or finally listen to that episode and whatever it might be that's going to actually put us on the track that we need to be on. I feel like it's such a journey too of learning to trust it. And I know Oprah shared that her greatest mistakes are when she doesn't trust it. When she thinks, oh, maybe that's just, you know, a doubt in my mind, not like a true feeling. And when she doesn't listen to it, she says those are her biggest. It's funny that you brought Oprah up because when I was on, I was on her show on Super Soul Sunday when I was probably 31 or something like

this. So this is like over a decade ago. And I'm on the show and one of the questions she asked me is very much what you just asked. It's like, how do we know what we're hearing? And I said, well, we ask and then we listen and then we have to take action on what we receive. And you know when Oprah does that thing where she repeats back, you know, what she takes in, she repeats it back.

And I can see that really resonated with her because it's so often that we get these messages and we don't actually do anything with them, that we don't take the action, that we don't follow the inner guidance. You know, one thing you said earlier too that you're most proud of is not just getting through things or having things happen to you, but actually transcending them, which I'm going to ask about in a moment. And there's two other things though that I want to bring up, because I think so many people listening

are going to connect with this. As you mentioned earlier, so often we can help heal through other people's stories. And you talk about how you struggle with food addiction and binge eating and body image issues for 20 years and that it was your spiritual practice that finally helped you make peace with food and your body. Can you, I mean, oh my gosh, you already know this,

but like for everyone listening, when you look at the numbers, like right now, 91% of girls and women don't love their bodies, right? It's the numbers of girls and women that opt out of meaningful activities in life because they don't like how they look. I mean, they're literally missing out on life. And I did that most of my life as well.

And so can you share from your experience, 20 years, and your journey through that, and where you're at now, and how you got here? Well, I believe that any form of addiction or disordered eating or body dysmorphia or body image issues, I don't want to call them issues, just experiences, are based on these impermissible experiences from a very young age. And when we as children experience the shaming or the experience of any kind of physical trauma or any kind of emotional experience or any form of trauma with a big T or a small T, we build up a lot of protection mechanisms to never have to face those feelings again.

And so oftentimes, one of those protection mechanisms can be disordered eating, it can be binging, it can be anorexia, it can be just very, very horrible thoughts and beliefs about our bodies. And the ways that we run from those core beliefs are scary. Right? For me, it was binging, it was overeating, it was cocaine, it was alcohol, it was work addiction, it was love addiction. And all of these addictions are the exact same because they have the same root cause. The root cause is the little people inside of us that just were traumatized in some way, big T or small T, and we did not have the resources or the adult parental figures to help us work it out,

to help us heal, to help us feel that safety inside, to help us get back to that sensation of courage and connection. And so what did we do? We picked up the food, we picked up the alcohol, we picked up the judgment, we picked up the self-attack, we picked up the behaviors that we've lived with for decades and decades and decades, and we will live with those protection mechanisms from very young years. We'll live with them forever until we start to address the root cause condition. And there's so many ways that we could, you know, we could do this program or we could read this thing or we could use this diet or we could do this abstinence thing, or whatever it might be. But the real healing, the way to truly cure these kinds of conditions

is to take care of the little people, the little girl, the little boy inside of us that desperately needs our attention. And when that young part of us has the privilege of being seen by us and being soothed and being honored and respected and listened to, it can settle down. And when these younger extreme parts of us settle, the protection mechanisms can settle too. The fighting back, the binging, the addiction. It can settle because when that young part of us, like a little child inside of us, right? When it feels safe with us, when your kid's safe with you, doesn't need to act out, right? When your child, when your own children are safe with you, they don't need to act out. When my son feels safe and he knows my presence is there and he feels my compassion and connection,

he doesn't need to act out. They act out when they're unsafe. And so what would happen if we treated our own little children that way? Our own inner child, the little S. Yeah, yeah. The journey of that, of even the idea of healing your own inner child, of how you even get in touch with that, that's also so new for a lot of people. And I know you mentioned earlier that at 36, you had that moment where, was it through a dream where you were sort of awakened in a way to the trauma, the abuse that happened to you as a little girl.

And I think you've referred to it as like a disassociated memory. There's so many people listening that go, well, I have addictions, maybe I'm addicted to work, I'm addicted to busyness. A lot of people wear busyness like a badge of R. Oh God, yeah, that was me for many years. Right? But really, it's just a way to numb or protect ourselves. It's a protector.

Or disconnect ourselves from ourselves. It can come out in so many ways. And a lot of people are like, well, I didn't have anything traumatic happen. But it can actually come from so many ways, right? Like simply, maybe your parents weren't available or you had to achieve to get attention, or you were always told to be quiet and polite and your feelings were never valid. It could be so many things. So our teacher told you you were stupid or someone just said something negative to you on the playground. It's these little moments matter.

And without the place to process those little moments, because most people didn't have parents that were self-help authors, right? Like, I'll pull my son aside and I'm like, okay, let's unpack this, you know, but that's not happening in the world. Although it can be now as we start to do it for ourselves. And so as we start to go on that journey of reparenting ourselves, then we have the power to parent our children with so much more grace. You know, another one of the most incredible things that you have lived, that so many people have also lived, is the experience of postpartum.

And there's a lot of people right now navigating, how do I know how I really feel? And is this depression, is this clinical, is this something that I can heal myself out of? With everything that you've gone through, we're gonna dive in, because from manifesting to spirit guides, I cannot wait to talk to you about spirit guides,

to IFS, to all of it, Course in Miracles, there's so many beautiful evolutions of your journey and of your expertise. And right now in this moment, there's going to be so many people watching us or listening to us that are going through a real moment where they're saying, okay, you know, maybe they're feeling like they're in postpartum or they're having, they're experiencing different things. So can you share? part of where they're having, they're experiencing different things. So can you share? Here's my PSA for women. Ready? Yeah. Women of all ages, but really 35 and up.

Get your hormones checked at least once a year, a full hormone panel at least once a year. And if you can't afford it, there are programs, there's things like Winona, and there's these different services out there that are either free or very inexpensive. But get a hormone panel. Because I had my son later in life, I tried to conceive from 35 to 38, and that was really a big struggle for me. When you saw me on the Oprah stage, that's the journey, that was the era I was in of trying to conceive. And then I did conceive my son through IUI, my son Oliver, and then I had severe suicidal postpartum depression after that pregnancy. And by the grace of God, about four months into my depression and genuine suicidal ideation, I finally stopped trying to wellness my way out of it and take ashwagandha or do acupuncture or whatever the fuck I was trying to do. And I got on a medicated path with, it was having a biochemical condition and I got on

the path of being on a medication. And that medication saved my life. But what I wasn't doing at that time was the full-blown hormone panels. And just last night, I'm talking to my hormone doctor, which I have the privilege of talking to, is not everybody's gonna have this, right? So I wanna just kinda give them what you can do. But I'm on this phone with this expert

and I'm telling her this story and she's like, "'Okay, good, I'm glad that you got on the medication "'cause that got you to safety, right, "'on the antidepressant.'" But she said, you needed estrogen at that time. You needed leveling of your hormones at that time. Because when you lose all that estrogen so quickly, whether it's in perimenopause or after your postpartum experience or in menopause, you go into the most severe dark places that can take your life and you cannot mess around with that.

places that can take your life and you cannot mess around with that. These hormonal shifts, I know that God gave them to me in all these ways. I know that God said, you know what, we're going to give you postpartum so that you can save lives. And I have saved countless lives of women who would have taken their lives or ruined their lives or destroyed their marriages or lost their children because these hormonal shifts and biochemical conditions will take everything away from us if we're not on top of it. And then in this perimenopause period into menopause right now, I know that God's like, take it right now, right when it's in the zeitgeist, right when everybody's talking about it.

And you have it too, Gabby, so that you can speak to it with authority. And I gotta just scream it from the rooftops, ladies. Get your hormone, full hormone panel, your thyroid, your testosterone, your estrogen, your progesterone, get it all tested. If you're listening to this now, this is your miracle. Don't wait. I saw somebody in the drugstore yesterday and she's like talking to her friend. She's like, I'm having a hot flash. And I looked and I was like, get your hormones tested. I started like literally just like self-helping her right there. And I think too, it's so worth echoing that

and saying that, you know, in this day and age, there's so many just great, good-hearted, well-intended doctors, and they just do not have the time. Sometimes they don't know. They don't know. They don't know, and you have to be, you have to take charge of your own health. And you called it out so poignantly.

Of course, you know, not everyone has access to all the same things. It's worth looking into what free options there are. And then when you go in, no matter what access to medical care you have, who your doctor is, you've got to be the one saying, I need a hormone panel. Yes, exactly. I want a full... You have to be the one that takes charge. And I have been in so many different places in my life.

Most decades of my life, I did not have a penny to my name. And I was just grateful for a tip on the Denny's table when I was waitressing, right? Now I feel so grateful to be able to access a lot of great medical care. And Gabby, just this last year I went to one of the most renowned doctors and I realized after, wait a minute, we never did a hormone panel. So even at that level of care I had to go back in and say, oh, no, no, actually, can I do a full hormone panel and thyroid? So this doesn't just fall into our laps.

Which is crazy to me because hormones are so dismissed, but hormones are the root cause of all the issues that we have as we age, right? So our cholesterol, I eat the most beautiful diet. I have high cholesterol. Why? Because of hormones. Because I lost all my hormones, right?

And so they'll just put pills at it. And yes, you need these other supplementations. But get the panel. Get awareness. Because when you address, it's just like the spiritual and the personal development. Because if you have to address the root cause of the condition. And so in many cases for women, all of our, the majority of our, I think our later years, the majority of our ailments are hormonally related. Now I'm not a doctor, but I'm just a human

that's had this experience. And so I'm not giving anybody medical advice except for just suggesting a panel. Let's go get it done. When it comes to paramenopause and menopause and all of that, what I found is we're, and you said this earlier as well, we're in this moment in time where we're all also needing to be the ones talking about it with each other because it still isn't, you know, I think medical doctors

get slim to none training in it. None. None. They get one hour of training in it. They get one hour of training in it. And, you know, I didn't also know, like I did IVF for nine rounds after my first child. And I carried for five and a half months with the one embryo I got. After nine rounds of medication, I got one embryo. They carried that baby and I unfortunately had to have that child, I had to have an abortion. I had to let the baby go because he was, I just saw a spark of light over your head as I said that because he's like always with me. I see lots of lights, you talk about that too. But I smile because he came to me in that way so that I could know what it

was like to love him for five and a half months in my body, but also because it was the path for me to know that one child was what I needed. And the other part of it that I came to understand, and this comes to the hormonal piece, is that I didn't realize that when you do IVF later in life, you're actually taking whatever ovarian reserves you have left and you're just pumping it all out. So it's something to know for these other women going through these treatments later in life that they're the best treatments you could do because you can get your baby. But you might want to keep checking

your hormones because you might go into perimenopause or menopause earlier than others might. And that's okay too. If you've got your baby, you got your baby. You're good. If you loved today's episode, my only ask is that you please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening or watching on. Give it a rating or review and then share the episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it online with others or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today.

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Here, I hope you'll come as you are, heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love, and I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Curran Lima show. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful, and when you learn to take

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Jamie's Book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's Book Worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.

If you love this incredible episode with Gabby Bernstein, I promise you, you're also going or other qualified professional.