The Jamie Kern Lima Show - Julianne Hough: How to Reclaim Your Voice, Journey to Healing and Step Into Your Power!

Starting point is 00:00:00 Yeah, I've actually never said that out loud to anybody in an interview before. And those being your first experiences, whether it be physical, mental, sexual, those abuses of power to someone who is vulnerable to it, that is the essence that's underneath that, is I am something that people can take advantage of. So I guess, yeah, I guess my mom did do what she could. She just wanted to move and leave. She didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to talk about it,

Starting point is 00:00:44 but she did want to get and leave. She didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to talk about it, but she did want to get us out. But yeah, that's kind of what happened. Thank you for allowing me to have this space to do it. And by the way, still scared about now that it's out there. What are the repercussions of like the fact that I've said it? You know, like that's, that's the thing that gets scary. What scares you about that? I think it's that like I've done something wrong. Which is why people stay silent. You know how to get there. We can borrow courage and we can borrow strength and sometimes we need to.

Starting point is 00:01:34 Sometimes we feel like we don't have it. When you talk about the many, the many ways that unraveling has happened in your life, in particular in the last 11 years. You know, getting married. I'm going to call it the hero's journey. Nobody has my back. I have to do this on my own and nobody's ever going to touch me or, you know, be able to affect me anymore. Thank you for sharing this.

Starting point is 00:02:03 I've never shared that before. In fact, I just had like a little bit of a profound revelation during that. That like my mom did do the best that she could. Yeah. The Emmy award-winning, two-time Dancing with the Stars champion and now host of the show, award-winning actress, performer, singer, songwriter, producer, entrepreneur, and author of the brand new book, Everything We Never Knew. Julianne Hough, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Oh, thank goodness.

Starting point is 00:02:42 Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself, trust yourself, and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life. All I want you to do is click on the follow or subscribe button on the app that you're listening or watching this episode on. I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many people you're sharing these episodes with.

Starting point is 00:03:15 And I'm so grateful to be here with you and I'm excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you for subscribing and following The Jamie Kern Lima Show. It means so much to me. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love

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Starting point is 00:04:24 Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. This episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show contains discussions of sensitive topics, including sexual assault.

Starting point is 00:04:47 Our aim is to approach this topic with sensitivity and respect, but viewer-listener discretion is advised. If you ever dim your own light or play it small or hide who you are and want to learn how to stop people-pleasing and step into the freedom of your authentic power, today's episode is for you. If you fear speaking up and saying what you really mean or showing who you truly are, and you're ready to reclaim your voice, share your truth, and journey toward healing and toward becoming the person you're born to be, I am so excited for this conversation we are about to have together with the Emmy award-winning, two-time Dancing with the Stars

Starting point is 00:05:32 champion and now host of the show, award-winning actress, performer, singer, songwriter, producer, entrepreneur, and author of the brand new book, Everything We Never Knew. Julianne Hough, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for having me. This is amazing. And wow, actually hearing that back, I'm like, yeah, I've done a lot of cool things in my life.

Starting point is 00:05:59 Yeah. And you're creating so many cool things. And I'm so excited for this conversation. I get so many messages every single day from people talking about how they're ready to start using their voice, reclaiming their voice, and tapping into their authentic power. And I think for a lot of people, they're on that journey. And I think there's such power when we hear other people's stories. And it's so brave what you're doing. And I'm so excited for everything we're going to talk about because a lot of people know you as the person that they love on Dancing with the Stars or, you know, the person that

Starting point is 00:06:42 they loved in their movie that they saw or Footloloose, or this or that. All of these talents. You're so talented in a way that connects with so many people. But there's also a side of you that I think so many people maybe don't know and are going to relate to on such a powerful way that maybe will help them feel less alone and more enough. So I know on your journey in your life, you're on a journey of unraveling. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's such a big theme in your book of healing yourself so you can really step into your full power.

Starting point is 00:07:18 And can you share a little bit about your life that maybe people don't see when they turn on the television and where you're at in your own journey of stepping into your power? The journey for me really started back when I was like 25. And I had done some incredible things with Dancing with the Stars. I was 18 when I moved out to LA and won my first two seasons and had a country career and best new artist, best new female vocalist, number one album, and then went into movies. And I mean, I was starring with Tom Cruise and Catherine Zeta-Jones and doing a Nicholas Sparks movie. All these things were happening. And I just remember feeling like so alone. And so what's next? What's next? What's next? And I didn't celebrate any of those moments. And I just kind of was like, yeah, just a little like vacant. And I remember at 25, I was like,

Starting point is 00:08:21 actually thinking, I don't know where I'm heading. I think I'm just going to continue just to be on this hamster wheel. And my brother, actually, he was the one that had just gone to a Tony Robbins seminar. And he was like, for my gift for my family, I'm going to send all of my sisters and my mom to go to date with Destiny, which was back in 2013. And I was just 25. And I was like, I don't know if I really want to go, but it's important for my brother. I'll go for like the first two days instead of the six days. And within that first day, something shifted. And I recognized that pattern that I had started from

Starting point is 00:08:58 18 to 25 of just going, going, going, and not really understanding why I was even doing what I was doing. So that was when the healing journey really started was 25. And it is evolved in so many different ways. It started very cognitive. And then now it's more of the energetic and the spiritual and the purpose-driven and the impact that I can have just for myself and for others, but in a way that feels truly authentic to, to my being, not just what I've been discovered as, or who I think I need to be. Um, so that's been, that's been the last, I guess I'm 36 now. So 11 years of, of just sort of unraveling. But yeah. 11 years of unraveling.

Starting point is 00:09:47 Yeah. Can you share about that? I think a lot of people, you're so blessed to start at 25, right? There's going to be people listening that maybe are younger right now. They're about to start their journey of unraveling and discovering who they are and healing and all that. And some people might be 80 listening right now, but you're never too young.

Starting point is 00:10:06 You're never too old to start this. And when you think of the last 11 years of unraveling in your life, what does that look like for you? Because this is new for you to share a lot of this. It is, for sure. You know, speaking of worthy and a lot of the things that you speak about, it's like, I obviously knew, oh, I don't feel like I'm enough or that I have enough. And so I would just push, push, push. I grew up as a competitor, as a dancer, everything was about winning. And, and that was my form of learning how to, um to basically compete or win to receive love. And so that mindset really drove me for the first part of my career. And then that was like the first expansion.

Starting point is 00:11:00 I realized that was what was driving me. So I tried to change my mindset. And I did. But then I realized, oh, that's the first layer. I really actually need to go deeper into where that stems from. And not just that I have those beliefs, but where did they come from? So a lot of child inner work. And then from there, it's like the next layer, which is just surrendering and allowing the space to just open up so you can decide to choose and be intentional about the life that you want versus just falling into it. With so many people, I think starting that journey of going, oh, wow, what do I believe? And where have those beliefs got me? And for a lot of my life, I'm like, oh, I think if I just

Starting point is 00:11:55 achieve enough, then I'm going to finally feel enough. And I never actually had that feeling of enough. So I'm like, I've just got to achieve more and achieve more and achieve more. And hearing you say that, you know, from Dancing with the Stars to a number one album to a movie with Tom Cruise, like all of those things. And you're sitting there saying, I don't feel like this is enough. Do I need to achieve more to feel worthy? Oh, yeah. That's a big revelation. Well, that's why I even say that now that I like, it was with all of those people because even before I wouldn't say,

Starting point is 00:12:33 I just said, oh yeah, I've like was on this dance show. And then like, I did country music for a little bit and, and then, you know, like I, I did some movies, but. Like you would downplay. I would downplay that it wasn't the pinnacle because it didn't feel like it was, you know? And I think when I look at it and you said the intro, I was like, yeah, I've done some really cool things. And when you look back at it, I really have created a beautiful career and I feel kind of sad that I haven't really enjoyed most of it. And, you know, moments I have, of course, but like when I really think about taking in the magnitude of what I've been able to like create, but then also what it's left and that it will be there forever and people will be touched by it or

Starting point is 00:13:26 be entertained by it. I mean, I'm like, oh, that, yeah, you've done a good job. Yeah, you have. And also just, I think, embarking on that journey of like, how do I start using my voice? How do I stop hiding? How do I stop shrinking? I know that's a big thing for you. Yeah, definitely. Growing up, my brother and I were the last two in my family. We have three older sisters. And their dreams were also to act and to sing and to dance. And they didn't really have the same opportunity that Derek and I had when I was nine

Starting point is 00:14:05 and he was almost 13, 12, 13. We actually ended up moving to live with our dance coaches. And so we kind of had like a different upbringing. And for a long time, you know, it was hard for my sisters to see that we had this opportunity that was given to us and they didn't have that opportunity. And so on my side, I was like, I don't want to share any achievements or accolades because I don't want to make them feel bad. And I don't want to hurt them. And I don't want to celebrate my victories because my winnings will actually be painful for them. And so for a long

Starting point is 00:14:48 time, I learned how to downplay or not share. And then I realized like, oh, wow, I'm not experiencing joy from this because I don't want other people to feel pain. And so that's been a big shift as well. And I've had those conversations with my sisters, and they are so proud of my brother and I. And they can also hold that it hurts, too, that they hadn't had the same opportunities. So both things can be true at the same time. When you and your brother had those opportunities, why was it that you guys got them and your siblings didn't? Was it just timing? I think it was timing. I think it was timing. Both of our, you know, our parents were getting divorced at the time and we were the youngest and we were at a dance

Starting point is 00:15:34 studio in Utah. And both, you know, both him and I were hungry, little, you know, excited ADHD kids just trying to like get all of our energy consumed and out. And my older sisters were, you know, interested in other things as well and a little bit older. And so at that time, my brother had an opportunity to go over and then I ended up dancing with our dance coach's son. And it was just timing. And it was only supposed to be for three months that Derek and I went to London while our parents were going through this divorce. And it ended up being five years for me and almost 10 years for my brother. Wow. Huge part of your childhood. Huge part. Yeah. And I know in your journey of unraveling, right? And I think unraveling can be difficult and also the most beautiful thing, right?

Starting point is 00:16:32 As people really start to kind of peel back the layers in their life and say, who am I? Where do I come from? Who am I born to be? What's the truth? Where's my voice? Who do I want to be to feel more in alignment with who I actually am? You have shared about some of the hard times you went through as a child. Can you share a little about that and just how that's been part of your journey?

Starting point is 00:17:02 Yeah. Well, I think like for a long time, I actually didn't really remember a lot of my childhood before I was 10 years old because it just, I don't know, like I had a lot of, I would call it trauma from 10 to 15 of being away from my family and, and the, the dedication and the work ethic and all the things that happened during that period of my life. So I always related that chapter as like my hard chapter. But what I realized is there was like a whole life before 10 years old that I completely blocked out and like wasn't paying attention to. And so when I really looked at those challenging and hard times, I really recognized, wow, my dad was working all the

Starting point is 00:17:51 time and not home. And I was with my mom and I didn't go to school for most of my childhood when my siblings did. And my mom was going through lots of emotional turmoil at the time. And she was also sick. And so she was in bed and she had, you know, she was never diagnosed, but she had like manic behavior and emotions. And so just my whole childhood was based off of trying to help regulate my mom and making sure she was okay. And so I learned how to be very responsible and to take care of and to make sure that the people around me were okay,

Starting point is 00:18:32 because I needed to feel safe. And if my mom wasn't okay, then I'm not going to be okay either. And that happened at a very, very young age. And so for my childhood, I learned how to take care of myself, be very responsible, and make sure that everyone else was okay too. And that really informed a lot of how I lived my life from that moment on and realizing that I took such this weight of responsibility of as long as everybody else is okay, then I'll be safe. And I didn't think about what I needed, but I was subconsciously making sure that whatever I was putting into place in front of me was a system of protection. But what I did was I gave everybody else that power to be the sense of safety and protection for me when that's all external and any of those things can come apart. And now I've realized all of those things that I have put into place over the last 25

Starting point is 00:19:37 years of protection and safety have fallen apart. And a few years ago, I probably would have been and was like, oh my gosh, this is affecting my whole life. But now I've found so much safety and stability within myself that all of these external sources are definitely things that are happening, not me. And so that was a huge, you know, realization of the power that I gave everybody else and not just people, but environments and communities. And, you know, even being in Hollywood, you think people know more than you or you need and you need to please everyone else in order to be a part of or to belong. And I just realized I was like, I don't need any of that to feel that. But I have been living my

Starting point is 00:20:40 life to create that environment for me. But it was all external. So that all really stemmed from going back even further before 10 years old and actually realizing where did this stem from. You've shared about some of the abuse that you've gone through as a little kid. I think being so young, I think, and those being your first experiences, whether it be physical, mental, sexual, those abuses of power to someone who is vulnerable to it, it immediately sets the precedent of other people have the power. And of course, you're a survivor, so you're going to be like, no, I have the power

Starting point is 00:21:32 and you're fighting against it and I'm going to do everything to stay in control and do this. But that is the essence that's underneath that is I am something that people can take advantage of. And I don't have the power in myself to say no or to stand up for myself or to protect myself. Or where was everybody else to have my back? So that feeling is an immediate brain wiring of nobody has my back. I have to do this on my own

Starting point is 00:22:14 and nobody's ever gonna touch me or be able to affect me anymore. So those are those layers of protection that you put on yourself. But as you build layers, you get further and further away from your authentic truth in yourself. And so then you don to understand, like, what is my voice? I don't even know what my voice is because I've learned for so many years how to just do what was needed. And that's actually what I put in the beginning of my book is, like, I want to, you know, dedicate this to my younger self who did what she needed to do to survive. And there's so many people that do what she needed to do to survive. And there's so many people

Starting point is 00:23:05 that do what they need to do to survive. And we should be so grateful for that part and that version of us. And know that like, as an adult, like I see you now and like, you're not alone. And I actually, time space doesn't exist. Like I'm here now, you know, and I'm actually going to be there in that, that past version of yourself. And we're going to go back to that moment and you're going to be protected. So yeah. How old were you when it first started happening? My first experience was when I was about four years old. Four years old.

Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah. By a neighbor in our, in our neighborhood, in our cul-de-sac. And that was, yeah, I've actually never said that out loud to anybody in an interview before. But yeah, that was a very, very confusing time because obviously growing up in the Mormon culture, everything needs to be perfect. Everybody needs to put on the, you know, shiny, we've got our stuff together. And there was not a lot of repercussion for what had happened. And by the way, I'm not the only one in my family that had gone through similar things. And so that

Starting point is 00:24:20 was a very, you know, challenging thing to, to like come to terms with, which is nobody did anything. And did you share it with your parents? Later on, because I forgot about it. Forgot about it. And then other things happened later in my childhood. And then about 15, I came home and I started sharing those things. But I had forgot about the neighbor thing at four years old until I started really doing this work in the last few years. And that's why I think I blocked out from birth to 10, basically, because I had completely dissociated from that ever happening. And when you moved at age 10 with your brother, then it was another experience. Yeah. frame, I also experienced things that reinforced giving my power to other people and learning

Starting point is 00:25:28 how to basically not trust anybody and giving, dimming my light, dimming my effervescence of beauty because that was what was the attractive part. When you shared with your parents at 15, everything that had happened and you shared with them what happened at four, how did they respond? Have you ever heard of the reticular activating system? Yes. So for those of you who are listening, it is where when two people have an experience, especially like a child and a parent, we both are experiencing different things, even though we're having the same circumstance happen. And so for myself, there was all of my experiences of how this is what happened to me in my experience. And in my parents' experience, they have their own guilt and shame of

Starting point is 00:26:38 other things and what they were trying to do in the moment. And so they can't necessarily connect the two and hear what was happening because they were having their own experience also. And so at that time, I think there was a lot of like, you know, they felt guilty and that they couldn't do it, but they also, you know, we've definitely gone through conversation after conversation, like, but we get it now, right? And we're like, we're on the same page. I'm not blaming you now, but I definitely, you know, needed more at the time. And that was actually, you know, at 15, and I said those things and shared those things. That was definitely, you know,

Starting point is 00:27:27 in the way that I knew how to express it then as well, which was like, this just happened and, but let's move on. Cause I also didn't want to deal with it either. And then I think now as an adult and the healing that I've gone through, I actually want to talk about it more. And I think it's uncomfortable to have those conversations over and over again because it's not just about, okay, we had it once and cool, now we're all good. I think you have to have those conversations to feel that reassurance and safety that I get it, I really get it. And sometimes people are not going to get it. And sometimes people don't want to have those conversations over and over again. And so

Starting point is 00:28:12 that's the whole, I have to come back to myself. Am I safe now? And am I okay? Did you feel like your family had your back? Did you feel like they believed you? Did you feel like they, how did you feel about how they responded? At the time when I was younger, I think they also didn't know what to do and were also in a position of not feeling capable or also feeling helpless. And so, you know, I think now that we've had these conversations, they've also said those things. And so at the time, of course, you're like, do more. But I think, you know, now it's like, oh, well, during my divorce is when I really reconnected with my parents and they showed up for me as my parents. And I needed that. I reclaimed my, my parental relationship with them and I got to be the kid

Starting point is 00:29:14 and they got to take care of me. And that was the most healing. And that was, yeah, that was the most healing time for us. And I think it was because we were both, I was in a vulnerable place of like, I don't have anything to protect myself. I am completely raw. So maybe I can hear you more now. And even though I didn't think that you were understanding at the time, maybe you are. And I can actually receive it now because my guard is down and my heart is open. And so that's what happened further down the road when we really went through more of our healing and communication as adults. So many people want their, they want to share with their parents or share with their family things about their life or about who they are or about the truth of who they are or who they're becoming. And it causes so many people a lot of pain when they feel like a mother wound.

Starting point is 00:30:14 A lot of people talk about their mother wound if their mother is not for them or has their back or doesn't stand up for them or doesn't love them for who they truly are. And one thing you said earlier about when you shared this experience with your parents, I was thinking of that famous quote that says, like, people don't see things as they are. They see things as they are. Yes. Right? And so I'm imagining, is that kind of what it felt like when you shared what you had experienced at age four with a neighbor?

Starting point is 00:30:39 And then also after the age of 10 when overseas, and when you shared that with them, did you kind of feel like they were seeing things from their own fear or their own environment or their own, a lot of times people worry about what other people think, or maybe they're, you know, are they, does anyone in your family still talk to that neighbor? Oh, no. No. Okay. Definitely not. And that, in fact, I remember my mom, even though she, because I guess what I came back and told my mom at four was my clothes were inside out. And

Starting point is 00:31:17 she asked why my clothes were inside out. And I said, I don't want to talk about it. And she said, tell me what happened. And I said, well, this was my only way of describing it because we weren't allowed carbonation as kids. We weren't allowed pop or anything like that. But I remember tasting it and it like burned and it hurt in my lungs. And I remember saying, I felt like I had a Sprite bottle between my legs. And that's what I told my mom. And so she freaked out and like was panicking. And her response was like, get up and move. So like the reaction thing was like, let's move out of this neighborhood. And there were other things that happened. I mean, my brother was like hung upside down, you know, and like put a gun to his head and like all sorts of things by these, these people. So I guess, yeah, I guess my mom did do what she could.

Starting point is 00:32:27 She just wanted to move and leave. She didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to talk about it, but she did want to get us out. But, yeah, that's kind of what happened. At four. Yeah. And, you know, my older sister, there were, you know, things that happened to her. My third sister happened to her.

Starting point is 00:32:51 And like, again, those people never got the, yeah, the people that also violated my sisters or my brother or myself. They never got reprimanded for it because we didn't say something. And instead, we just pivoted and we just moved, which is good. Get out of a situation. But also that's another thing, which is for age, almost later, even with your mom, wanting to make sure she's good and almost being the parent and all that at a young age. And then can you share a little bit? Thank you for sharing this. I've never shared that before. In fact, I just had a little bit of a profound revelation during that, that my mom did do the best that she could.

Starting point is 00:34:14 Yeah. Yeah. I want to honor that. I feel so grateful that a conversation like this is going to help a lot of people feel less alone and more enough. And I once did a week of, it was the most incredible week at a place called onsite and they did trauma therapy. And I remember the therapist they're talking about that, um, even if other people share their stories, they might be similar to yours or not, but that like 60% of your own healing

Starting point is 00:35:02 can come through just hearing other people's stories. And you mean so much to so many people who just love you and love you in their living rooms, on their television. And yet so many people have the things they go through that they feel alone in. And I think much like your book, which we're going to dive into, and the lead character in your book, having the courage to be on a healing journey and to actually think, well, how do I feel? And what did I go through? And what do I need?

Starting point is 00:35:54 And who am I becoming versus like, let me just make sure everyone else is good. Let me make sure everyone else is bad. I think it's just so brave. And I just want to honor that. And thank you for sharing that because I know this is something new for you to share. Yeah, definitely new. I've been very good at being open and sharing after I've figured it out. And to actually be vulnerable in a moment when you're going through something is very different.

Starting point is 00:36:25 And that's the lesson that I've learned in the last few years, which is like, I've said with vulnerability comes strength, but did it, was I actually, you know, embodying that? And I think, thank you for allowing me to have this space to do it. And by the way, still scared about now that it's out there. What are the repercussions of like the fact that I've said it? That's the thing that gets scary. What scares you about that? I think it's that I've done something wrong. Which is why people stay silent yeah and it's changing the narrative around that

Starting point is 00:37:23 for people to feel like, oh, wait, sharing what happened to me isn't me doing something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. And I would say that to anybody else. But when it's yourself, it's hard to see or to feel and know that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:44 And then, of course, anybody who's gone through that you don't want to feel like a victim and so you just try to like do the next right thing to keep going forward yeah you know how to get there you yeah you create a very um safe space to speak and and i i think that's what's that's what i want to do for people is create a space like that. That's why I started Kinergy. That's why I wrote this book.

Starting point is 00:38:32 But to have somebody else do it for you is very different. So thank you. Well, I already know this. I don't need to wait to say this. You're doing that for other people right now. Well, I already know this. I don't need to wait to say this. You're doing that for other people right now. And that's what's really beautiful and powerful. And I think when we started this conversation and I'm reading off Emmy Award winner,

Starting point is 00:38:59 Dancing with the Stars champion, Dancing with the Stars host, all the things, oh my gosh, All the things. There were so many things that I'm like, I can't do a 10-hour intro. And yet, I think so often in life, our purpose can come from not just all this stuff we achieve, but when we've made it, when we've journeyed through something, we've made it through something. and then we help other people make it through it, you know? And sometimes it's just by sharing what we've gone through. And sometimes it's by what you've done in creating this incredible fiction, fictional novel.

Starting point is 00:39:41 Faction. And, and it's kind of, you know, I was thinking about this with your new book, So Beautiful Everything We Never Knew, that's out now. You have to get your copy and get it one for everyone you know, we can borrow courage. And we can borrow strength. And sometimes we need to. Sometimes we feel like we don't have it. And we see someone else saying, well, I'm on this journey.

Starting point is 00:40:26 And here's how I navigated it. And here's having a revelation in real time. And just kind of, I think for a lot of us, healing is like a lifelong journey, as is stepping into our authentic power. And also just taking a look back. You called it unraveling. I think unraveling where our habits and our patterns and our wiring and all the things

Starting point is 00:40:54 come from, and then almost taking our power back in a way. And there's going to be people of every single age that are sharing this conversation with you and me right now who maybe even haven't started the unraveling yet, but they're ready to. And I know when you talk about the many ways that unraveling has happened in your life, in particular in the last 11 years, getting married, you've shared that you, even in that journey, and even through the marriage, still on a journey of discovering who you are. Sharing with your partner. Can you talk about just that, I'm going to call it the hero's journey. Yeah. Right?

Starting point is 00:41:43 Of this is the hero's journey. Yeah. Right? This is the hero's journey. Yeah. If you loved today's episode two, my only ask is that you click the follow or subscribe button for the show on your app and give it a rating or review. And then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons

Starting point is 00:42:11 in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are

Starting point is 00:42:50 and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you like, because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. I love you. And I can't wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Coming up, you won't want to miss

Starting point is 00:43:15 part two of this incredible conversation with Julianne Hough. All of the things that were in my life came apart. And out of a choice that was choosing me in my most honest and true way, even though it was painful for me and it was painful for the people and the things around me. I've never heard you talk about your marriage or divorce with these things before. I never have. I had asked for a separation and with the intent to work through, asked for a separation and then 10 days later,

Starting point is 00:43:56 my dogs were killed by coyotes. Yeah. Wow. I am so emotional today. My tightest group of friends that, you know, were within my orbit also didn't show up for me the way that I needed it. I was like, I've made a mistake. I've made a mistake. Trying to hold on to these friendships, trying to hold on to these things that like, the minute I let go and I said, they need to be on their own journey. They don't understand mine right now. And that's okay. That's okay. I cannot abandon myself in this moment. Like I have to stay true to myself. And this is the first time I've ever done that. I was getting ready to launch Kinergy on tour with Oprah. And I felt so out of integrity or out of like alignment that I'm about to start this company,

Starting point is 00:45:07 which is all about helping people connect to themselves and living their most expanded free self. And I'm like, Whoa, what am I doing? I'm blowing up my life. Um, and I have to go and perform on stage, which is like the, you know, the whole purpose is to help people like connect to themselves. And I'm feeling very disconnected right now. I was like, okay, this is, this is not easy, but I'm going to intentionally create my life now

Starting point is 00:45:40 instead of do the thing that I think I'm supposed to do. I remember having this like absolute knowing of like divine, you know, God and grace and like feeling like so protected and so held. I don't want to repeat. I don't want to repeat patterns. I don't want to act from my five-year-old, my four-year-old self, my 10-year-old self, my 15-year-old self, or even my 25-year-old self, my 10-year-old self, my 15-year-old self, or even my 25-year-old self. You know, like I wanna act from the woman

Starting point is 00:46:08 who has gone through everything that I've gone through and is acting from this place in this chair right now. The Emmy award-winning, two-time Dancing with the Stars champion and now host of the show, award-winning actress, performer, singer, songwriter, producer, entrepreneur, and author of the brand new book, Everything We Never Knew. Julianne Hough, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Oh, thank goodness.

Starting point is 00:46:44 Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk, to build confidence, and develop unshakable self-love

Starting point is 00:47:29 so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below.

Starting point is 00:48:08 Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

Starting point is 00:48:47 If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's going to save you. Worthy. Your new beautiful book, Worthy.

Starting point is 00:49:17 Get this book. This book, I'm telling you, it's a book that can change anybody's life who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's missing in your life. I have to tell you. It's powerful. It's happening. It's worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection to founder of It Cosmetics,

Starting point is 00:49:48 a billion dollar company by learning how to overcome self-doubt and believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams. And I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self-doubt and know that where you come from or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then Worthy is for you.

Starting point is 00:50:19 It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it because in life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold and head to worthybook.com now for free gifts, including my five-part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95-page Worthy workbook action plan that teaches you how to implement the tools

Starting point is 00:51:01 from the book into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo. Oh my God. Worthy, you are worthy. This book is going to change lives. This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence.

Starting point is 00:51:18 The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book. Jamie's Book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's Bookworthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the

Starting point is 00:51:54 advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. If you loved this incredible episode with Julianne Hough, I promise you, you're also going to love this life-changing episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show with Oprah, where we talk about how to hear your intuition, tap into your purpose, and discover the dream your creator has for you. It's up next just for you.

The Jamie Kern Lima Show - Julianne Hough: How to Reclaim Your Voice, Journey to Healing and Step Into Your Power!

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