The Jamie Kern Lima Show - Oprah Reveals All: Life-Changing Lessons on Weight, Shame and Worthiness! (pt 1)

Starting point is 00:00:00 I asked your blessing before this interview to see if anything was off limits and if there's anything you don't want to talk about and you said no. So I'm going to ask this. The greatest life lesson I have ever received. It's transcendent. I mean, I just can't even believe this happened to me in this lifetime. That became my grounding teaching for the rest of my life and career. You have shared the things you're going through,

Starting point is 00:00:30 even when people may not understand them yet, and they have helped heal so many people. The moment with the state of weight was like, whoa, it's not even my fault. else is sharing this no one else is having this conversation drugs and injectables and things that can help with weight management are you doing those which medication here we go you ready i'm I'm ready. We prayed up, right? Prayed up. Thank you.

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Starting point is 00:02:50 Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. She has impacted and continues to impact hundreds of millions of lives daily. She's called the most influential and powerful woman in the world, the queen of all media,

Starting point is 00:03:20 America's first black female billionaire, titan, icon, living legend, the woman who's raised multiple generations in their living rooms. She has been my mentor from afar my entire life, the one I dreamed my whole life of meeting and dared to pray and believe it would one day happen. Today, I am so honored to say I love her and she's still my life's greatest mentor and she is my friend. My guest today is Miss Oprah Winfrey. Oprah, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Don't you love being able to say, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show? I know how that feels. It feels really good.

Starting point is 00:04:08 It feels like you had to do a lot of work to get that title. I remember when I first came to Chicago and the show was called AM Chicago. And I was just so happy to have a job as a single host because I'd been co-hosting for years. And several days actually after I was walking down the street and people were saying to me, I love watching that Oprah show. And we eventually changed the name really after a few months. So to be able to say the Jamie Kern Lima Show, I know what that takes to get there. Thank you. I think I might be more excited than hearing you say the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

Starting point is 00:04:53 The Jamie Kern Lima Show. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Thank you, Oprah. You look at the pattern of the 25 Years of Oprah Show, always ahead of its time. And you look at the cultural shifts that have happened in parallel, right? And I feel like one of those is happening right now, that you are on the cusp of and ahead of its time in a way. You recently hosted a course and a big conversation for the Oprah Daily community around the state of weight and around shame and weight.

Starting point is 00:05:35 And it was so profound in the sense of there is this idea that's been around forever that if somebody has challenges with their weight, that somehow it's a willpower issue. It's all a willpower issue. And so many people have shame around that. Can you share about just the intention of the state of weight and about the things that you're sharing in that show with the doctors on the show about how things are, now that people have more medical knowledge and understanding of obesity, that the link between, oh, it's a willpower thing is a very antiquated. Well, I had a big aha moment myself on that show. I mean, I've done hundreds of shows about weight loss and had, I can't even tell you how many conversations about it, but still carry my own shame. I had a big, big, big, big revelation on that state of weight on O'Dailey. So that was just,

Starting point is 00:06:42 you know, 2023 that I had my big revelation. Like when the, you have one doctor after another doctor saying obesity is a disease. And I was like, when I didn't get that memo, when did somebody actually say that? I remember when I was on television saying alcoholism is a disease in the late eighties, early 90s, like 87, we did our first show on alcoholism and called alcoholism a disease. And people were like, what are you talking about? They're just using it as an excuse. Put the bottle down. No such thing. trying to convince the masses that people who were suffering from alcoholism or had alcohol

Starting point is 00:07:32 issues, you know, needed treatment. It wasn't just, you need to put the bottle down and stop it. And so hearing someone say, scientists, medical professionals, that, oh, yeah, we've known for 10 years at least, 13, 14 years, that this is a disease. It's like a disorder in the brain. So it just like went click, click, click, click, click, click, click, because I very much understand it for alcoholism because I've seen it with people who take one drink and they're like gone. I had people in my family who like take two sips of wine and they are a different person and literally metabolize it differently. So what I understood from the state of weight that I had not understood for the past 48 years of battling my weight is that there's something in the brain that allows people like myself to metabolize fat differently than other people. And that no matter

Starting point is 00:08:37 what I do, I'm always going to go back to the set point that my brain thinks it needs to hold the weight. And that is why, even though I pulled out the wagon of fat in 1988, and I didn't have a morsel of food for five solid months in losing that weight on Optifast, that three days later, I was five pounds heavier. And a week later, I was 10 pounds heavier. And that show happened in November. And by the week before Christmas, I remember Don Johnson, the Don Johnson of Miami Vice was having a party and it invited me and some members of my show to come. And I wouldn't go because I thought I was too fat to go. I'd gone from 145 on the day of the show. And I think I was 157 in the course of like a week and a half or two. And the shame started again. The biggest shame was there used to be a man called Mr. Blackwell.

Starting point is 00:09:57 Every year would do his list of the people who were in and the people who were out, the people who were well-dressed and the people who were not. And I think it was 1987, Mr. Blackwell did his list. And I was at the bottom of the list and I was on the cover of one of the magazines. I think it was TV Guide. And I was listed and the headline was, dumpy, frumpy, and downright lumpy. And I was wearing this, what I had thought was a beautiful black dress. Makes me want to cry. Beautiful black dress. Obviously had to have the dress made.

Starting point is 00:10:40 And I was, you know, so proud of myself because I'd won the Bob Hope Award. And they took the picture from that and it was bumpy, dumpy, and downright lumpy. And it was on the cover of all the magazines. Okay. I ingested that. I swallowed it like it was a pill designed just for my body. And I took in all the shame. And I accepted that this thing that people have labeled me with, being fat, being overweight, being unable to control my willpower, not having any willpower, that's my shame. That's it. They're right. They're right. And for 25 years, every single week, in one form or another there was a tabloid story or some exploitation of my weight making fun of my weight was national sport for 25 years comedians did it the best comedians did it the highest comedians did it. The highest comedians did it. People with their shows did it. It was just accepted that you could make fun of me and my weight. I remember in Living Color, one of the most hurtful things was in Living Color,

Starting point is 00:11:54 had done a skit where the woman was doing something and she just kept eating and getting fatter and fatter and fatter. And the comedy bit was that eventually she just kept eating and getting fatter and fatter and fatter and the comedy bit was that eventually she just exploded and you know the whole audience fell out and the woman was me it was it was one of the the sisters portraying me and so but that was just accepted that was just a thing that was accepted so i have borne this weight weight thing and carried it to the point where I just feel like I've just recently turned 70 and I'm not carrying it into the next decade. I'm done with it. Were you just able to release that shame on O'Dailey. When doctors are now saying, and it's literally medically

Starting point is 00:12:48 proven, right? There's genes that we care. So after I heard this conversation, it was such an aha moment for me. There were women in your audience that day. There was a mom and daughter in particular, where you could tell the mom had just been kind of, not embarrassed for her daughter, but they'd been working so hard for the daughter to have enough willpower to lose weight. Yes, and that was a mother that spoke of it as we. You know, we're going to get through this and we're going to do this. And I was saying, well, this is really her life and her body, that woman. Yeah, I remember that very well.

Starting point is 00:13:23 And you didn't realize it's a medical issue issue i love that state of weight so much if you all listening get a chance to go to old daily and see it because the ahas were like hitting me in the head and i could see on the faces of the audience members the exact same thing happening yes because it's the first time i'm telling you i had heard and i have read all the stuff and on the board of Weight Watchers and on the, is the first time I had heard confirmed in a way that actually it got through. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. And one person after another person in that audience. So it's the, it's the first time, you know what it was for me? So the moment with the state of weight was like, whoa, it's not even my fault. All these years, all those diets,

Starting point is 00:14:17 all those times I tried, I tried, I tried. I came back and I tried again and I lost it. I'm climbing up the mountain. I'm suffering. I'm starving. I'm not, it's not my fault. It's not my fault. That was the moment. And that was 2023. I'll get a tissue. To watch you. There's one right here. Yeah. You got it, okay? The moment of watching you, the moment of watching you have that moment. Yeah. Seeing so many other people in the audience.

Starting point is 00:14:58 This is so recent. This is what I'm talking about, that I feel like this is something huge that is going to be a massive cultural shift that we are still way ahead of. It is still way early right now. There will be so many people that hear you and I talk about this that do not get it still. So many people think, if you are overweight, oh, it must be your fault, all of the things. And to hear the doctors on there say, oh, no, no, we've known this for a few years. They can pinpoint in your brain the difference. After the show, I got tested and I have two of the obesity gene markers. And watching you have that aha, watching people in the audience understand like, oh, it's not my fault.

Starting point is 00:15:49 I feel like it is one of the few, not one of the ones that happens, but one of the few that's still accepted in our culture to shame people for is weight. It's still a thing. There's going to be people listening to us right now that are going to be like, yeah, but you don't have to eat all that stuff or do this or do that. To hear doctors say, oh, just like alcoholism is a disease, just like cancer is a disease, right? To be able to pinpoint- Where in the brain it is. Where in the brain-

Starting point is 00:16:19 The difference is you don't have to drink alcohol. You do have to eat. Right, alcohol. You do have to eat. Right, right. You do have to eat. Right. Well, and now we're in this moment in time where, you know, of course the importance of eating well and taking care of your health and all that is important. But there is a whole new world now. And this is one thing you guys talked about in the state of weight.

Starting point is 00:16:47 A whole new world. Weight Watchers purchased a company that prescribes medications for weight loss. And you shared on the state of weight that you felt like you had heard about them, but that it would be like pushing the easy button or like taking the easy way out if you were to ever do weight loss drugs versus just hiking and working out and trying to do all those things. Well, yeah, I did feel that at the time. I felt like I'm the one who has to prove that I can do it. I can, you know, one meal a day and hiking. So I had put myself after on, I'd put myself on a routine after I had knee surgery. First of all, I was on the real drugs, okay, after knee surgery. And they really curb

Starting point is 00:17:40 your appetite a lot. And I was in a lot, a lot, a lot of pain and also trying to figure out whether or not I was going to ever really be able to walk again. This part is going to change so many lives. This is, I can't even, like I can't even right now. This is going to like, I'm listening to you. But when I think about myself, I will cry about it. But this is a thing that is so ahead and is going to be so freeing. Like, the fact that 91% of girls and women don't love their bodies, that 89% of women miss out on meaningful activities in life, because, like, including connection with other people or people they love because they don't like how they look. Like, you shared the whole, I was a few pounds heavier and-

Starting point is 00:18:28 Can't go to the party. Can't go to the party. We wait on our weight. We believe the lie that our weight is our worth. And when you think about what has shame around weight already cost you in your life, I mean, and to have this huge breakthrough, this is a huge medical breakthrough in terms of awareness, right? Doctors are saying, oh no, we've known this for 10 years. You're sharing this with the public for the first time. It is ahead of the times and it is going to free people. And people are still, people are still, this is the thing that so bugs me about it is if you said we have a cure, when you have a cure for people who have cancer or diabetes or high blood pressure or certainly all the things that being obese causes, you know, leads to hypertension and diabetes and, you know, problems with your joints and all kinds of circulation, inflammation issues. And for people to look at that as an easy way out, even myself,

Starting point is 00:19:39 you know, I feel that I was judgmental because I have been so judged. I was judgmental because I have been so judged. I actually don't know anybody who's been more publicly judged about their weight than myself. And I have carried and borne the shame of other people that I allowed, not only allowed, I accepted that what society and Mr. Blackwell had to say about me being dumpy and frumpy and downright lumpy, okay, it's true. And shame on me, shame on me for not being able to do something about it. It's what you feel for yourself. I realized in that moment on that state of weight episode for O'Dailey that that was a big, big, big revelation for me. It's a huge revelation. And I feel like getting the word out about it,

Starting point is 00:20:37 like the quicker that can happen, the sooner people are going to start to heal and to process and to stop attaching their worthiness to their weight and actually realize like, oh, wow, this is actually, you could pinpoint it in the brain just like you can. And my thing is, if you are fine with it, first of all, grown up in a different time where you're not ostracized because of it. You can use it and flaunt it and be bold and bodacious with it and accept it. I did not grow up in that time. I grew up in a time where there is a, there's a haughtiness, there's a, there's a dissension that you, that you know, you feel. And everybody who's overweight, been overweight, has stepped in a situation,

Starting point is 00:21:36 you know it when you feel it. So I think that this is a great moment. I think that this is a seminal moment for people to understand actually the depth of where this whole weight issue comes from. Yes. And particularly to understand that it's brand new. There are still so many people thinking I need to willpower my way out of it. And it's reinforced by family members, people that maybe have really good intentions, but don't know anything else. And even though we are in a time where some people are very, there's a body positivity movement, all of that, you look at the numbers, it is the majority of everyone still has so much shame around their weight, no matter what it's at. And, you know, I asked your blessing before this interview to see if anything was off limits and if there's anything you don't want to talk about. And you

Starting point is 00:22:38 said no. So I'm going to ask this because I have just seen every red carpet interview you've done recently and all anyone is talking to you about is your weight right now and just how in great shape you are. And you have not, despite anyone's questions, you haven't shared if in you and your life when you say you're doing everything for this level of health and well-being and you talk about some of the sort of new medical advancements the company Weight Watchers acquired with drugs and injectables and things that can help with weight management. Are you doing all of those? Well, I will tell you this is what I'm doing. I started after my surgery, determined that I was going to be able to walk again and be able to

Starting point is 00:23:40 use my body in the way that God had intended me to. And I literally said the prayer on the day that I came home from surgery that if you, when I couldn't lift this leg off of the bed, that God, if you let me, if you give me the opportunity, I will use it. So I started setting little bitty goals for myself and I started walking around my yard. And so I started setting different goals for myself around the house and around where I lived. And I remember the first time I walked a mile, it took me like an hour and a half to do it. And I was with one of my girls and she was walking really slow with me. And I was saying, Oh God, this is so hard. This is so hard. And then every day after I accomplished the mile, I would add a little bit more and a little bit

Starting point is 00:24:36 more. And so the bottom line is I started with this intention of getting back into the shape that I felt my greatest sense of power. And that was when I was 40 and running a marathon and preparing to run a marathon. So I wanted to work to get to that feeling that I'm inside my body and it feels like I am my strongest, I am most fit, and I am most this. And so I would add, you know, different mileage, different mileage. I went from three to five miles a day, and then five miles a day to seven and seven to 10. And so I think by Christmas, I think, New Year's, we did that great post with all of us hiking and Gail dragging her poles behind her. And of course, I've been hearing, I had started to hear about Ozempic. That's the first time I heard about it,

Starting point is 00:25:30 was in 2018. Looked it up. I said, no, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do anything that's going to interfere with the progress that I'm making now, because I don't want to take something and have everybody think that I took something and the weight just dropped off because this friend of mine had lost like 40 pounds in two months. And I'm like, well, that is amazing for you. And they were saying, this is a miracle. I was like, well, that's really good for you, but I'm not going to do that because I've got to stick to my plan. And I feel that if I don't do it this way, then it's not going to be valid. Everybody's just going to say you took the easy way out. And I felt that for myself. And I also felt that that would be the world's reaction. And I would feel like I didn't actually conquer it. I didn't actually conquer

Starting point is 00:26:27 this thing. I didn't beat it myself. By the time State of Weight happened, we were filming that late July, early August. And I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't run any harder. I can't climb any faster. I can't, I don't know what I'm going to do. And that show happened. After that show, I called my doctor and I will say this, that I have used the medication. I use the medication as a maintenance tool. Now I've given up on a number and I'm just going with how I feel. I just feel like it's a tool that I will use if I feel myself getting beyond a certain point. Which medication? I will not say. Yeah. Well, just to share something I've never shared. So after watching State of Weight, it was the biggest light bulb moment. And I called my doctor. I called my doctor.

Starting point is 00:27:26 You called your doctor too? I called my doctor too. A lot of doctor calls. Called my doctor too. The amount of shame my entire life, I have felt like I'm not working hard enough. I'm not trying hard enough. I don't have enough willpower, all these things. And then to literally watch State of Weight, to have this huge aha moment, to watch other people having it. I consulted with multiple doctors. And here's the thing, long before I called the doctor after State of Weight, while I knew lots of people were on it,

Starting point is 00:27:56 I was asking multiple doctors, what do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? And they were saying that, look, the bottom line is we don't know what the new medications do in the long term, but we do know what obesity does in the long term. Yes. And so the damage to your body versus taking the risk of I'm going to control the weight, manage the weight to the best of my ability. And if there are, you know, for me, I'm getting my thyroid checked on a regular basis and have been since 2007. If I had to not use it, I wouldn't, but I feel liberated. I feel a sense of liberation about it. I feel a sense of relief in knowing that feeling that I felt when I was sitting there in a state of weight, eight pounds heavier than I was

Starting point is 00:28:52 a month before, knowing that I don't know what I'm going to do because I cannot hike any higher. I cannot run any faster. I just want to honor something like from a way zoomed out level, that your entire career so far, which is just getting started in many ways, you have shared the things you're going through, even when people may not understand them yet. And they have helped heal so many people. So many people have felt, and I'll put myself in that group, have felt seen, understood, all of that by the things that you've vulnerably shared. And we're sitting here in a moment right now, even talking about the state of weight and everything shared in that episode from doctors. If they've known for 10 years, who else is sharing this? No one else is having this conversation in this way. And it's such an iconic moment. I know Maya

Starting point is 00:29:55 Wentz told you that your legacy will be the life of every single person you touch. Your legacy is not one thing. It's everything you touch. It's everything. And when you look at your show over the years and like at the National Museum of African American History and Culture, your exhibit there, which you've had other exhibits as well honoring you. But whether you go and see that exhibit, whether you, you know, or have seen it in the past, whether you go online, whether you read the millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of posts and positive comments out there,

Starting point is 00:30:31 I just want to highlight a couple things about the impact that you have on people's lives and have. And just to read a couple to you. Oprah brought my family together. We'd all crowd around the TV to watch a woman do what we could only dream of doing. She gave me hope. Oprah Winfrey's the reason I love myself so fiercely and know that my voice matters in this world. This one, I didn't even know I had a light to shine until Oprah told me I did. Oh my God. And now I know I do. When you hear that you think what I think well done Oprah I think well done which is about the best compliment accolade you can get because that's what God said done. I think that the intention was fulfilled. You know, every day doing the show, what I wanted was for people to feel a sense of themselves in a way that made them feel better. That made them look at themselves differently. And many times I knew I was interviewing guests who didn't get it.

Starting point is 00:32:07 Even as they're telling their stories, they still didn't get it. But other people observing it could get it from them. That they could feel and see what the people even telling the stories could not see for themselves. So it feels like a life well lived. It feels graced is what it is. It feels graced is what it is. It feels graced. It feels like I did and have been doing what I came to do. It feels that I have been a good and faithful servant.

Starting point is 00:32:36 And if this episode added value to you, my only ask is that you share it. Share it with... In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, Build unshakable self-love. Unlearn the lies that

Starting point is 00:33:26 lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts

Starting point is 00:33:59 for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. And now more of this incredible conversation with Oprah. You share about how the first time reading the opening line of The Color Purple and feeling seen and heard and understood, I should say, you once wrote a letter to your younger self. And there are so many people who have printed it out, who have read it, who- I don't even remember it. What? You don't remember it?

Starting point is 00:34:48 Yeah. Okay, hold on. I wrote a letter to my younger self. I have friends in my life who have this printed out. Wow. Let me share it with you. So make sure you're familiar with that because what I'd love to ask you, for maybe the people out there who just need to feel less alone and more enough, can you read that? Oh, dear beautiful, this is Oprah's letter to her younger self.

Starting point is 00:35:18 Dear beautiful brown skin girl, I look into your eyes and see the light and hope of myself. In this photo, you're just about to turn 20, posing outside the television station where you were recently hired as a reporter. You're proud of yourself for getting the job, but uncertain you'll be able to manage all your college classes before one and arrive at the station by 1.30 for a full day's work. Even so, your biggest concern is how to manage your love life with Bubba. Yes, you are dating someone named Bubba. On this day, you've brought him to the station to see where you work, hoping he'll be proud too. He seems less than impressed. The truth is, he's intimidated. You don't know this though because you can see yourself only through his eyes. A lesson you will have to learn again and again to see yourself with your own eyes,

Starting point is 00:36:16 to love yourself from your own heart. Well, this is good. I forgot I wrote this. damaged your self-esteem. Yet through it all, you've held onto a belief in God and God's belief in you. That will be your single greatest gift, knowing there is a power greater than yourself and trusting that force to guide you. The trajectory of your life changed the day you answered the call from Chris Clark, the news director at WLAC-TV. Your response was ignited by the words of your then-favorite Bible verse, Philippians 3.14. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Knowing there is a high calling is what will sustain and fulfill you. From where I sit now, viewing your journey,

Starting point is 00:37:27 there are few regrets. Only months before this picture was taken, you wrote a poem about a woman becoming. Even then, you understood that success was a process and that moving with the flow of life and not against it would be your greatest achievement. Love you deeply, Oprah. Oh my God, I should keep this for myself. I forgot I wrote it. I do so many things. May I say? Celebrating your 70th birthday now, if you were to add a PS to that letter, is there anything that you would add? My PS would be continue. The poem that Maya wrote for me on my 50th birthday, which you can Google right now, is called Continue. And she wrote those words for me as a gift to me because she said, babe, I have nothing else to offer you

Starting point is 00:38:18 but my heart and my words. And she said, my prayer is that you will continue to astonish a mean world with your kindness. And that gratitude will continue to be the pillow upon which you kneel. And that is the essence of my life, to try to continue to astonish this mean world that seems to get meaner every day with my kindness, with my open heart, with my understanding and knowing that my kindness is an extension of the source's kindness, that all of my grace and all that I can offer comes from that which is God, and God is the all. And so I just want to continue that. I feel like I have nothing left to prove. I feel like that being released from the weight gain and the weight it has taken up in my life. How much time, how much energy, how much self-berating. and the difference in moving through the world and choosing to wear and be in clothes that make you feel like you want to go someplace or do something or be a part of something rather than just wearing what's going to fit what can you fit into as opposed to what feels fantastic is liberation, is a relief, is another

Starting point is 00:40:29 way of being in the world. And I embrace that. I embrace this time. I embrace this next decade. I embrace being able to use the platform that I have achieved to infuse and lift other people up wherever I can. A lot of people might see you on the outside and wonder, who is she really? Like, who is she really? You have shared how you have three very close friends, and one of them wrote a letter for our interview today. And I want to read it to you from Maria Shriver. Oh, Maria.

Starting point is 00:41:09 So Maria wrote, my relationship with Oprah is more than four decades. And when I close my eyes and think of her, the thing I love most is how nurturing she is. She's the kind of person who brings you coffee when you're staying with her. She puts a little book on your bed that she thinks you will like. She's always really nourishing and nurturing in a maternal way, really, in such a loving, gentle way. I love being in her company because we laugh unbridled. It's just filled with laughter. We can say anything to one another. And I just cherish her. I cherish how gentle she is. And so our friendship's very loving. It's very nurturing and soft.

Starting point is 00:41:51 And I don't think either one of us get that in many places. I see the little girl in her. And I think she sees the little girl in me. Maria, I just saw her yesterday. And actually, I sent her a note after we hugged and she was walking down the hall and walking away. And I just said, you're the most gracious, loving, giving person. And anybody who doesn't see that and love that is not fully human.

Starting point is 00:42:25 So anyway, I think I appreciate that from her. What do you think she means by that you see little girl in her, she sees the little girl in you? Because we both understand how, where you've come from and what happened to you, that space carries you forward in life. Yeah. And she sees the Mississippi in me and I see the Massachusetts in her. And I see that being in that family where everybody around you is just spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning all the time. And you're trying to find and hold on to an identity that is yours. And for a long time, I couldn't be a full friend to her because I was so intimidated by And I mean, listen, you go to their house and it is like walking into a monument to history. I mean, there are letters in the bathroom wall from

Starting point is 00:43:30 Khrushchev and Mother Teresa, and there's Jack Kennedy, you know, getting off an airplane and holding Maria and her mother. And I mean, it is legacy, legacy, legacy, legacy. I mean, it's John F. Kennedy's niece and Eunice Shriver's daughter and Sergeant Shriver, who started the Peace Corps. I mean, so all around in the bathroom, on the piano and walking down the hall, there are all of these monuments to the work that they've done in history. And I remember going to their house for the very first time. You don't just go to Maria Shriver's house with her parents and sit at a dinner table. You've got to talk about meaningful, purposeful things and being completely intimidated by that. And they're all so competitive. And I remember hiding in the bathroom at Ethel's house because I don't

Starting point is 00:44:21 want to play another game of football or charades. Okay. So it took me a while because I don't want to play another game of football or charades. So it took me a while because I also felt like, what could I offer her as a friend when she has all of these cousins and friends and lives in this world? And it wasn't until I guess I became a full adult that I realized that all of that, even if it's in your family is still external. You still need somebody who just sees you, who just sees you and the little girl in you and your heart's desire and your longing and what's important to you. So yes, we've been friends since Baltimore 1976. That's a long time.

Starting point is 00:45:14 There was a moment celebrating the 25 years of the Oprah Winfrey show when the show was ending and in a dark arena, you started seeing candles lit walking down the aisle and 400 Morehouse men who you had paid their way through school. So many of them saying, I could have never gone to school had it not been for Oprah. And now they're doctors and lawyers and literally changing generations. How did it feel watching that moment happen? I feel like I'm doing exactly what you're supposed to do. There's a wonderful passage in Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon, I think it is,

Starting point is 00:46:07 where she says, she's talking about tilling the land, fix it, build it, hoe it, sharpen it, all these, it's the only language that she can use this, but she was saying, and pass it on, pass it on, pass it on. Do you hear me? Pass it on. That she was saying, and pass it on, pass it on, pass it on. Do you hear me? Pass it on. That's your job to pass it on. And so I feel that for each of us, first of all, your gift, my gift, anybody who's listening to us, watching us, your job is to do that, not just for yourself, but as an offering to the world. And when you shift the seeing of what you do as an offering to what you can give, everything changes. Everything about that changes. So I've done the thing that I needed. I offer that to somebody else and it comes back to me a hundredfold. I mean, we were speaking earlier about why do I think I am where I am in life? Number one, because of the intention to do well and to do well by the audience that I

Starting point is 00:47:12 served. And I saw myself as serving the audience, not performing for them, but as serving them. That intention for every one of those members of the audience, the millions of people, has come back to me a million fold. And that's the way life works for everybody. That's what's happening. What you're putting out, the energetic, vibrational force field is going out, whether that's anger or sadness or confusion or depression or mistrust. And you can't say you believe and you trust and then go back to mistrusting. So if you really open your heart to understand that there's a vision

Starting point is 00:47:51 for your life, there's a dream that God is dreaming, the life forces are dreaming and waiting on you. They are waiting on you to step into the dream. And so the goal is to ask God, what is your dream for me? Not tell God what the dream is, not tell the universe what the dream. And so the goal is to ask God, what is your dream for me? Not tell God what the dream is, not tell the universe what the dream is. Get still enough to say, I am open to what the dream of my creation is for me. There is a reason why you are here. And if you can't figure it out, ask. And don't go around asking your friends because they don't know. It's between you and your source. It's the power, the forces, the energetic vibrational force field that put that sperm with that egg in that moment and cause you to be here.

Starting point is 00:48:41 Ask that thing. Whatever you call that. That's what you should be leaning into. And if you just lean into that every day, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, and it shall be given. And know that if you are open to the answer, the answers will start to show up. You will start to feel this is right, and this is right, and this is right, and that's not right. And I shouldn't take that step because, and if you don't learn to trust your own feelings, then you will never trust anyone.

Starting point is 00:49:18 If you cannot trust yourself, and if you can learn to trust yourself, it means you can handle anything. I remember a long time ago, a woman was on on a show and I had this aha moment when um, she was like she'd been in bad relationships and she'd been betrayed and she And she didn't know and she was starting this relationship with another guy again And she didn't know if she could trust him and phil said but can you trust yourself? Can you trust yourself to do what is necessary if that is not the right guy? So you don't have to worry about them hurting you because the moment I see some hurt coming, I'm going in the other direction. So I am open to the forces.

Starting point is 00:49:53 I am open to whatever the answer is for me. And I stopped trying to tell the life force what the answers were. And so I live the answer. You live the answer that you hear, not the one you want. I live the answer that I hear, not the one I want. My conversation with Oprah is just getting started. If you love this episode, get ready for part two. If you don't learn to trust your own feelings, then you will never trust anyone.

Starting point is 00:50:27 Oprah, how have you defied the odds and embraced your worth? It is the defining mother wound for me. And my mother didn't stand up for me. I realized at that age that I'm going to, this is going to be my life. I'm going to have to do this by myself. The world will drown out the voice of God. The world will drown out your intuition. God speaks first in the whisper. It first gives you just a little, hmm. And if you can learn to trust yourself, it means you can handle anything. I've had it show up in my life, even in the same cologne.

Starting point is 00:51:16 Same cologne. Still had to relearn the lesson. Oh, wow. That's wow. I'm excited for your book, your new beautiful book, Worthy. I believe that it's one of the most needed tools on the planet earth right now. Delight in it. You are lifted by it. And people freaked out. They freaked out. And if this episode added value to you, my only ask is that you share it. Share it with the people you care about.

Starting point is 00:51:51 Post and share it on social media and tag me at Jamie Kern Lima so that I can repost it. The Jamie Kern Lima show is your show. So let's spread the word and be a force for good together. Thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that could not be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You are worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kernelina Show. Here, I hope that you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose,

Starting point is 00:52:39 journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern-Lima Show. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter

Starting point is 00:53:36 and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. This show is presented solely for entertainment purposes only. It's not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, professional coach, or other qualified professional. I hope you enjoyed this episode and conversation together,

Starting point is 00:54:17 and I am so grateful to be on this journey with you. And did you know, for every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show, there are a set of special prompt questions just for you to help you on your journey of aha moments and revel to get them sent to you each week. And each episode is meant to be evergreen and packed with timeless life lessons. So you can go back and listen to past episodes you perhaps haven't heard yet as we are going on this incredible journey of building self-worth and living our best lives together.

The Jamie Kern Lima Show - Oprah Reveals All: Life-Changing Lessons on Weight, Shame and Worthiness! (pt 1)

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