The Jamie Kern Lima Show - Rejection is Protection! How to Change Your Relationship With Rejection to Change Your Entire Life!

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

Full Video Available on YouTube @JamieKernLimaOfficial. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prompt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷  Make sure to click the “Follow” button for the show on your favorite podcast app, so you’ll be the first to get each episode!  ____ Imagine what you’d do in your life if you had no fear of rejection or failure. It’s actually possible to get to this place and when you do, it truly changes everything! If fear of rejection or failure holds you back in life, today’s episode is for YOU! I’m sharing the tools I’ve applied to overcome countless rejections that have helped me turn an idea in my living room into a billion dollar company, helped me keep going even when others didn’t see my value, and so much more.  See, when it comes to facing countless rejections, I’m your girl! So in this episode we’re tackling any fear you might have of being rejected, or failing, of someone not including you or seeing your value! See, what I know to be true is that self-doubt, and fear of rejection or failure, kills more dreams than almost anything else. And what I know because I have lived it, is that when you change your relationships with rejection, you change your entire life!  In this episode, I’m so excited to share with you some stories, tools and tactical takeaways that you can apply to your life right now, today, to overcome your fear of rejection or failure! Are you ready to become unstoppable? The good news is, you already are, and this show is about unlearning the lies that you’re not and igniting those truths that wake-up worthiness and help your self-belief soar!  For more resources related to today’s episode, click here https://jamiekernlima.com/show/ for the podcast episode page. Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show 4:33 The Cancel Culture No One Is Talking About 5:57 Shift Perspective, Change Your Life 10:33 This Is Why You’re Stuck 13:01 Rejection = Victory 26:04 Past Rejections Don't Define You 34:27 Final Step To Becoming Fearless  It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Follow me here:  Instagram TikTok Facebook Website —  Sign up for my inspirational newsletter for YOU at: jamiekernlima.com  —  Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!  WORTHY Believe IT

I am so excited to be here with you today in this episode. Oh my goodness. All right. If you are someone that worries about pleasing other people, if you're fearful that you want to put yourself out there because you might get rejected or someone might not see your value, or you might fall flat on your face, we are going to turn that around in today's episode.

I cannot wait. I'm so excited that you are here with me. Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself, trust yourself, and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life.

All I want you to do is click on the follow or subscribe button on the app that you're listening or watching this episode on. I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many people you're sharing these episodes with and I'm so grateful to be here for you and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you. Thank you for following and subscribing to the Jamie Kern Lima show. It means so much to me. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life.

Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. Do you fear rejection or failure? If so, today's episode is for you. And when it comes to facing countless rejections, I'm your girl. Hi, I'm Jamie Kern Lima, and in today's episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show,

we are tackling any fear that you might have of being rejected or failing or someone not including you or seeing your value. See, what I know to be true is that self-doubt and fear of rejection or failure kills more dreams than almost anything else. And what I know because I have lived it is that when you change your relationship with rejection,

you change your entire life. So today, I am so excited to share with you some stories, some tools, some tactical takeaways that you can apply to your life right now today to overcome your fear of rejection or failure. Are you ready to become unstoppable? The good news is you already are, and this show is about unlearning the lies that you're not and igniting those truths that wake up worthiness and help your self-belief soar.

So get cozy and lean in, because I just feel in my heart that these words might be exactly for you today. I am so excited about this topic today because it is life-changing in so many ways. So let me just start by asking you this question right off the top. What would you do differently in your life right now if you had no fear of rejection or failure? Like think about it for a minute. Maybe it's in your personal life or in making friends as an adult. Maybe it's in your career or maybe it's in like a passion or a calling you feel that you've been sort of hesitating or holding back on.

What would you do differently right now in your life if you had no fear of rejection or failure? I truly believe the fear of rejection and failure and self-doubt, it kills more dreams than almost anything else. It keeps us stuck, keeps us not going for things. And I am going to share a couple tools and lessons and tips just that have been life-changing for me as it pertains to changing my relationship with rejection.

So when you think about it in your life right now, I truly believe this. When you change your relationship with rejection rejection you change your entire life. So I'm gonna talk about a four-part framework. You can do it right now while we are just here together talking. You and me, you can start applying this to your life right now and I can tell you for me it's helped me become so much more fearless of you know if I do get rejected or I fail or I fall flat on my face or someone else doesn't see my value. And here's why this is so important is like right now, I believe the most prevalent form

of cancel culture is the one no one's talking about. It's us canceling ourselves before we even try. It's us canceling ourselves before we even try. It says cancelling ourselves before we even try. And we do that so often, because we have a deep-seated fear of rejection, of failure, of all the things that we assign pain to. And we want to avoid them at all costs. So here's the thing,

we're gonna dive into this four-part framework, and I just want you to even see if you can apply it to a few areas of your life right now while it's just you and me together on this journey holding hands. I have been rejected and failed over and over and over and over and over again and then again. Literally so many times more than I can count, and I actually think,

you know, as adults, when we put ourselves out there, we do things or we go for it, or we, you know, trust our gut and make a move, like it's just inevitable that different forms of rejection or setbacks or what can feel like failure impact us every single day, every single day. And so I think when we learn to change our relationship with it, that's why it can truly change

every single area of our lives. And here's the thing. So big, big, big picture, right? Every single thing in life is simply the meaning we attach to it. The same thing can happen to 10 different people and they all experience it very differently. They all attach a different meaning to it, right?

Like for example, my husband can give me an apple and I could be like, wow, he thought of me. He's like the sweetest ever. He knows I'm hungry. That would be the meaning I'm assigning to it. Or I could get the apple and I could be like, mm-hmm, he literally forgot every single chore the last seven days, now he's trying to make up for it

by bringing me an apple. Or he'd give me the apple and I could be like, wait, he knows I want that sundae, the ice cream sundae, does he think I need to be on a diet? Or he could bring me the, I could go on and on and on, right, the point is, that same thing happened in all those circumstances, I got an apple, but I can attach so many different meanings to it.

And that meaning we decide to give something becomes our reality. It becomes what we focus on, it becomes what we think about, it becomes what we experience. Well, the same thing goes for when a setback happens in your life or someone hurts your feelings or you try something and

it doesn't work or it doesn't go your way or you have a rejection or a failure. All of it. Every rejection, every failure that's gonna happen now in the future and even the ones in the past, all they are is the meaning you assign to them. That's it, okay? So, here's how we're gonna kick this off. I wanna ask you a question you gotta be super honest. We're gonna dive into this four part framework

called the four Rs. I go really deep into how to do this in my book Worthy, but I wanna take you through a really fun version, just you and me together today, okay? The four Rs's, because you can apply this to your life right now. So question right off the top. I want you to be really honest with yourself, really honest, and don't even think about it, okay? Don't think too hard, but I want you to imagine yourself getting rejected or failing at something. What's the first thought you have? Don't think about it, just like what's the first thought you have? Don't think about it.

Just like, what's the first thought you have when you imagine yourself getting rejected or failing? For me, most of my life, the very first thought I had is, yep, there's proof you're not enough. Yep, you're not enough. The person doesn't want to bring my product into their store. The first thought is, yep, not enough. The person didn't invite me to their party. Whatever it might be, my first thought was always, yep, proof I'm not enough.

But I want you to be really honest with yourself. Really imagine yourself in a scenario where you get rejected or you fail. What's that very first thought that goes through your mind? Now when I've asked groups of people this before all in person, oh my goodness, like some of the first thoughts that people share so vulnerably are things like, yep I shouldn't have even tried, I'm stupid, I'm a loser, who was I to even go for it, who do I think I am, I'm not qualified, I'm not enough, I don't have what it takes, on and on and on and on, right?

So I just want you to take note for a second of that first thought you had when I asked you that The first thing you think when you get rejected or fail, okay? Because here's the deal that first thing you just thought that is your current definition of rejection or failure That thought is your current definition of rejection or failure. That thought is your current definition of rejection or failure. That is currently the meaning you're

assigning to rejection or failure in your life when they happen. A lot of times we don't even know we're doing this. It could be just like a deep-carved neural pathway from the past and we've just thought that every time it happens. But that first thought you have, this is so important, okay, for you if that first thought you had is something that's negative, like for me most of my life is, yep I'm not enough, well that's a negative, right? If that first thought you had that you think about when you get rejected or fail is something negative, here's the deal, as human beings we're wired to avoid pain at all costs, right?

It's why we know going to the gym can bring us all these great benefits, but we don't want the pain of getting on the treadmill. It's why for a lot of people they know, oh, if I quit smoking, I'll get healthier, but they don't want the pain of the withdrawal, right? We will prioritize avoiding pain, just instinctually, even though something could be more pleasurable. So we'll avoid pain at all costs. And why I'm bringing this up is because

if that first thought you had about when you get rejected or fail at something is something negative or painful, well, here's what's going to happen. You're not going to go for things. You're going to stay stuck. You're going to talk yourself out of going for it because you're going to want to avoid the pain of rejection or failure. So we just did this first R in the four R's, which is to reveal your current definition of rejection or failure. And I just want you to make a note of it, okay?

Your current definition of rejection or failure. And I just want you to make a note of it, okay? Your current definition of rejection or failure. Now here's what's been life-changing for me. Because we sort of started out with this idea that everything's just the meaning we attach to it, right? When I started realizing that my current definition of rejection or failure, every time it happened, was like, yep, there's proof I'm not enough, right? Well that makes me tempted to not go for things. I don't ever want to feel that way.

But what I've learned is when you actually redefine, that's the second R is redefine, when you redefine the meaning or the definition you give to rejection or failure to one that's actually empowering, now it has to be true. It has to be a new definition. You believe and know in your soul that's true. It can't just be something that sounds positive. You have to believe it's true. But when you redefine rejection or failure with new definitions, right, that you truly

believe that are empowering, that are inspiring, well, then it's not painful anymore. Then you actually eliminate the fear of doing things that might bring rejection or might bring failure because it's not painful anymore, then you actually eliminate the fear of doing things that might bring rejection or might bring failure because it's not painful anymore. So I know that's going to seem far-fetched, but just trust me on this. I'm going to give you a couple examples, okay? So I remember one day after, oh my gosh, years, first of all, years and years and hundreds and hundreds of rejections building at Cosmetics for my living room. There was one day in particular

I got an ultra painful rejection and it was about to be another night where I was like crying myself to sleep under my covers. And I remember I just started Googling every person I admired, people that have helped heal humanity, people that are incredible thought leaders, people that have done incredible things in business.

I started Googling them, reading their stories, and what I realized is every single one of them has gone through tons of rejections and failures, tons, countless. They are just the brave ones willing to keep going anyways. And that day in my journal, I wrote, rejection does not mean I am not enough. Rejection and failure, it's a victory. It's a victory because it means

I'm one of the brave ones willing to keep going anyway. I'm not gonna live my life sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else go for it, staying stuck. Like this rejection, this failure, yeah, it's not what I want, but oh my gosh, it's a victory. It's a reminder I'm one of the brave ones willing to keep going for it. And here's the thing, you guys, I believe that to be true in my soul.

If I see you get rejected or fail at something, I will literally think like, oh my gosh, it's amazing, you're one of the brave ones willing to go for it. And I believe that's true, I believe that in my soul. So what I started doing was, every time, I'd have another setback, another failure, another rejection, another no. For a lot of us, these happen every day, right?

We don't get invited to the party, the person doesn't invite us to coffee, the person doesn't see our value. Whatever it is, we get these every day. And so literally, every time from that moment forward, I'd have another rejection. My default would be like really quickly to think like, oh yep, there's proof I'm not enough.

But I would intercept that thought and I'd go immediately to like, oh no, no, no. This is a victory. Like I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. And I kept doing that over and over and over until it became second nature. And then I started building a toolbox of new definitions for rejection or failure when they happen in my life that I believe to be true. That I believe to be true.

So another one is, rejections God's protection. Or rejections the universe's protection, whatever speaks more true for you. Like I believe that to my core. Like I believe that is true. Right? I believe that is true. Rejections redirection, which is another great one. Rejection means I'm putting in the reps.

I'm one step closer to that, yes. And so what I wanna encourage you to do, right, we already came up with your current definition of rejection, well now I want you to think of some new definitions of rejection that are true for you, that you believe in your soul are true, right? So you can take some of the ones I just shared, that rejection means it's a victory, I'm one of

the brave ones willing to keep going for it, or rejection is God's protection, or rejection is, you know, one step closer to that yes. Whatever it is for you, start building a toolbox of new definitions, okay? And then one step at a time, every time another rejection happens or failure or someone hurts your feelings or doesn't see your value, you're going to go to that old thought, whatever that was for you, for me it was like, yep, I'm not enough. But then you intercept it and you replace it, you redefine it. You re-decide, you take your power back and you decide the meaning you attach

to that rejection or failure when it happens. You can pull from one of these in this toolkit, right? So I remember, you know, so really quick recap. The first R is to reveal, and we just did that, your current definition of rejection. The second R, out of the four R's is to redefine it. That's what we're doing right now. We're coming up with these new definitions

that you have to believe to be true in your soul. This isn't just like, oh, let's think positive. This is like, you believe these to your core. I remember some of you might know this story. There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not gonna wanna miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes

and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results,

like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at Worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you.

It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours, and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need

at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind-the-scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at JamieKernLima.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this conversation together.

You might know this story, but when I was building It Cosmetics, I got so many rejections. One in particular that was super, super painful was a few years into the brand, and a big potential investor, super well known, had got ahold of our product and was so excited about it. We started taking meetings, and I was like, oh my gosh, if they invest, A, we're not gonna go bankrupt, and B, maybe they can use their power, their leverage to get us into all these retail stores

that keep telling me no. So I was so excited, I thought like, is this gonna be our saving grace? And we did meeting after meeting after meeting, and I was just praying and hoping that they would invest, like literally like telling God what I wanted. Like not asking for divine orchestration, but actually telling him, please answer this prayer.

Thank you. And we did meeting after meeting, and I remember my husband and I flew up for the final meeting, and this head guy was there, his entire team, we presented the whole product pipeline, and I just thought this thing was gonna happen, the deal would go through. The very end of the meeting, this head guy who was about three feet from me at the time and his whole team was behind him. They're amazing. But he says to me, it's a no. We're gonna pass on

investing in IT cosmetics. And when I asked him why, he got really, really quiet and he says, do you want me to be really honest with you? And I was like, yes, please. And he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And I remember in that moment, like actually never feeling anger toward him.

I felt initially like a lifetime of self-doubt and bodied out, like fled my body all at once. So it almost felt like I was sharing my own fear straight in the eye. But when he said those words, I'll never forget this. I got this feeling in my gut so strong that said, he's wrong, he's wrong. I got this knowing, right?

And so this dude was giving me a no, but God was giving me a knowing, and listen, I left that meeting, I went in my car and cried. I didn't hear from him again for another six years, but in that six-year window, this is one of the points of why I'm sharing this, in that six-year window before I heard from him again, there were so many times where those words, like I heard them again, right? How many times have you had somebody say something that hurt your feelings or you had a rejection or a setback and like it replays? Every time I'd hear his words,

I'd imagine myself turning down the volume, right? On that self-doubt that was coming up, turning up the volume on that feeling I had in my gut, that knowing that said he was wrong. And then here's what I would do. In that moment, I was tempted, of course, to hear those words and think, oh yeah, he's right, I'm not enough, I'm never gonna make it.

He didn't even think I was worth investing in and he's really, really smart and he's like a really big deal and maybe we don't have a shot and maybe he was right. It's like, uh-uh, uh-uh. I'm gonna turn down the volume. That is not the definition I going to turn down the vault. That is not the definition I want to assign to that rejection.

That is not the meaning I'm going to give to that incident. And I would intercept those thoughts and replace it with one of my new definitions I believe to be true. So I would catch myself a million times in that six-year window, catch myself, replace it with rejection is God's protection. So I would catch myself a million times in that six-year window, catch myself, replace it with, rejection's God's protection. I don't know why God blocked my value from him, and I don't know why he said no, and

I don't know why it didn't work out, but I'm going to have faith. I'm going to trust rejection's God's protection. I'm going to trust it, and I'm going to go with it, right? And six years later, when I did hear from him, it was when L'Oreal bought our company for a whole lot of money, and he would have made a whole lot of money. But here's the beautiful part is when he was, when I was hoping he would invest so badly,

I was like super desperate, y'all. Like nobody was, you know, wanting to bring us in their stores or anything. So I didn't even know how I was just not going to go bankrupt at the time. So I probably would have given him the majority of the company for like almost no money. But because he did not believe in me, when we finally sold the business, I was still the largest shareholder. It's like rejection is God's protection, right?

Or how many times we're dating somebody and we know we're not supposed to be in that relationship, our friends and family see it, people are telling it to us, our intuition knows it, our intuition knows it, right? And then all of a sudden that person just like breaks our heart and we're devastated. And we still try to keep it going. We wish it worked out.

We still feel in love. But now, fast forward a bunch of years, and we're like, thank God it did not work out. Thank God that person broke my heart. Because if they did it, who knows how my life would have turned out. Right? We can start looking back at different things and be like, okay, rejection is,

the universe is protection, rejection's God's protection. We know these definitions are true, and then that's how we continue to apply them with that deep belief and that deep truth every time they happen. And why this is a big deal is because the more definitions I started applying to things that were actually empowering, what happened is I started fearing rejection less. Literally,

I started becoming fearless when it comes to rejection or failure. And you know, I think about the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rejections I had to endure to actually build a cosmetics into over a thousand employees and into the company that it's become. But had I actually assigned a lot of pain to every rejection, I would have stopped and given up at like 20 rejections or 50 nos or 100 nos. But I actually learned to assign the meaning I wanted to them that was empowering.

And that helped me become virtually fearless when it comes to rejection or failure. So I wanna encourage you to redefine rejection and failure in your life and really take some time. You can pause this episode or if you're out working out, walk in, cleaning, whatever you're doing right now, you could do this another time as well. You can come back and revisit this episode, but really take some time and really write out some new definitions.

Or you can take some of the ones I've already shared right now and just make the decision that you're going to redefine rejection or failure every time it happens. Now the third R is the most powerful. This is the most powerful. This is the most life-changing. This is the one that I hear from so many people about that has literally changed their life. The third R is called revisit. Revisit. All right here's what this means in your life. So many of us, whether we are aware of it or not, have had past rejections, past failures,

happen in our lives, sometimes in our childhood, sometimes from our caregivers, sometimes from different moments in our life, from the person that just crushed our heart, the job we wanted so bad and we applied and applied and applied and they didn't see our value, no matter what we did, we didn't get it. The time we sent our book manuscript out and 25 publishers said no. Like on and on.

The person who you were like, okay, I'm an adult, I'm going to make friends as an adult. And no matter what you do, that person just doesn't seem to like you or invite you to the things, no matter how hard you try to be her friend, it's not working. Or you're in-law, that you've now spent 10 years trying to get to love you and they do not. Like, I can go on and on and on. But so many of us with past rejections or failures, when they happen in the moment for a lot of times, they shake our confidence. But here's the thing, you guys,

that this is really, really big. When we have a past rejection or failure, again, it could come from as far back as childhood. When we let it take root at an identity level, right? And what I mean by that is instead of thinking, oh, I was rejected, I failed, we actually start to think, I'm a reject, I am a failure. That's when it takes root in an identity level,

that's when it impacts our self-worth, okay? And a lot of times we're carrying this around, and we don't realize we can revisit, the third R is revisit, a past rejection or failure, and then go through steps one and two, reveal what's the current definition we're giving to that, past rejection or failure and then go through steps one and two. Reveal what's the current definition we're giving to that past rejection or failure. What's the current meaning we're assigning to that? And then redefine it. Step two, second R.

So that it no longer takes root in your life and in your self-worth. This is a really, really, really, really powerful tool because it can help set you free, it can help your self-worth soar. Okay, two quick examples of this so that you can start applying this to your life right now. You know, I was adopted and when I was growing up, actually didn't know I was adopted growing up until I was in my late 20s,

but when I was growing up, I actually didn't know I was adopted growing up until I was in my late 20s. But when I was growing up, my parents who adopted me, they worked so much. Seven days a week, like so many hours. And I always kind of felt abandoned. I always felt abandoned and alone, right? And always, like work was always top priority. And I grew up with this narrative that like, to myself, I didn't tell anyone else this,

but deep inside I felt like I was abandoned. And how that came out in my life was like, oh my gosh, I would date people that were not good for me, uh-uh, and they would do stuff where I'm like, I know his phone did not break and he did not disappear for three days because his phone broke. Like, you know, but I would like, I know his phone did not break and he did not disappear for three days because his phone broke. Like, you know, but I would like stay in relationships

that weren't good because I didn't want to abandon the person, right? Then I found out I'm adopted in my late 20s and just kind of this narrative where I told myself like I'm abandoned or, you know, not the top priority or unwanted or those narratives. I always kind of felt that deep down inside. Never shared it with anyone, just always felt that. or not the top priority or unwanted or those narratives. I always kind of felt that deep down inside.

Never shared it with anyone, just always felt that. Then all of a sudden, I'm growing this incredible business. We have a thousand employees. And you wanna know how it came out in my life? I would not fire people soon enough. Like, and I'm talking about when they really like be on a shadow of a doubt, merited it. That was one of my biggest weaknesses as a boss, is I would not fire people soon enough

because I didn't want to abandon them. I kept wanting to try again, like, pour into them and like, yeah, biggest weakness. And when we have these old wounds we're hanging on to, these definitions we're applying to things, like, it can change every part of our life. So I actually did this process and I went back and I realized that my experience being adopted and my experience growing up with my parents working a lot, the meaning I was giving to that was I was abandoned. But I decided like, well that's pretty disempowering of a meaning I'm choosing to give to that.

And I decided to take my power back, and you can too, to anything that's gone on in your life. And I decided to redefine this in my life, right? So I decided, oh, wait a minute. My birth mom who decided to bring me into the world, she did not have to do that. She didn't abandon me. She chose me. She chose me.

God chose me to come into life. My parents who adopted me, yeah, they had to work really, really, really, really hard when I was growing up, but they chose to raise me. I am not abandoned. I am chosen. I am chosen. I am chosen. And I believe that to be true. And it has helped me heal in so many areas.

It helped me, you know, now I'm getting so good at like friendships and, you know, relationships where I can see, oh, this is not good for me. You know, I'm gonna love that person from a new healthy boundary and a big old distance. And it's not my job to rescue them and I don't need that in my life, right?

So it's really helped me take my power back. So when we talk in this episode about making these changes, they really can impact a lot of areas of your life. My favorite way that I wanna make sure I share with you today, because this is something that might be profound in your life right now. It is for me, I use this tool every single day, just about, but one of my favorite ways to revisit past rejections or failures, or even ones that happen day to day. We all have stuff where

someone doesn't see our value or somebody didn't do the thing or we put our idea out there and they passed on it and said no thank you. Or we asked our boss for their promotion or we applied for this job and didn't get it or whatever it might be, right, you name it. I literally, when this happens in my life, one of my favorite go-to ways to redefine this,

whether it's a past rejection or failure I'm revisiting or something happening in real time, when it happens, instead of me thinking, yep, there's proof I'm not enough or any of the other things, I will literally make the decision to believe. I will imagine my Creator saying to me, Imagine my creator saying to me, oh, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I will believe it. I will believe that, right?

So when the girlfriend doesn't invite me to the party, but everyone else got invited and my feelings are hurt, I'm like, I don't know why she doesn't like me. I don't know why we're not bonding. I won't do that, because that'll send me to that place of oh, I'm not enough and all the things. Instead, I'll be like, all right, well, I really wanted to get invited, but you know what?

I'm gonna trust God's blocking my value from her, because for some reason, she's not assigned to my destiny. Or I'm gonna trust that I sent my resume out to this place over and over and over and over and sent a follow-up email and then sent a Starbucks gift card and the person still didn't give me the job or even an interview. I am going to trust that my creator is blocking my value from that person because that job is not a sign of my destiny. And I go revisit past things, right? The dude that broke your heart, that's like still the love.

You're like, oh, it should have been, it should have been. As Matthew Hussey says so beautifully, if it should have been, it would have been. That's the first thing. But the second thing is, I will go back to those and be like, yep, I can so clearly see now God blocked my value from that person. I wanted to work out so bad, but thank God it did not.

That person was not a sign of my destiny. So the third R of revisiting is so powerful because it helps us transform the meaning we're attaching to things that maybe even their rejections or failures that we let take root at an identity level. And it's so powerful to be able to do this because it sets us free, right? It sets us free. And that is the fourth R is revel.

Revel in the fact that you are no longer fearing rejection or failure in your life because it's totally possible. In my journey, there's still things I'm working on every single day, still things that I have challenges in my life, things that I am a hot mess over. But what I will say is fear of rejection or failure is not one of them. Like, I am virtually fearless of rejection or failure now, because I believe these meanings I'm assigning to them, these new definitions to be true.

I believe them in my core, in my soul. I believe them to be true. And so it's helped me take my power back. And I just, I'm so excited and honored and grateful that you are here with me on the Jamie Curren Lima Show because this is like what this is all about. It's you, it's me, it's us sparking these revelations in our own self-worth journey in our life. If these four R's added value to you today, I created a free overcoming rejection framework

that you can download at jamikernelima.com slash resources. And I also go much deeper into how to change your relationship with rejection and failure to transform your life in my new book, Worthy. It's available everywhere books are sold, including Audible, where I read it myself. Woo! I am fired up from today's episode on rejection because it is such a huge thing that when you can change the meaning you attach to it in your life it can truly change everything. And if you loved today's episode too, my only ask is that you please click on the follow button or the subscribe button for this

show on your app and then share it. Share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others in your online community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I wanted to share with you some words that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy.

You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you like because you belong here.

You are worthy, you are loved, you are love, and I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Janie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful, and when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you

if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer.

It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlema.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's

also a love letter to you, delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlema.com to make sure you're on the list, and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love,

hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at JamieKernLima.com or in the link in the show notes. I am so excited for this book, you know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's going to save them. Worthy. Your new beautiful book Worthy. Get this book. This book? I'm telling you. It's a book that can change anybody's life.

Who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's missing in your life. I have to tell you. It's powerful. It's happening. It's happening. It's worth it. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you?

I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection to founder of IT Cosmetics, a billion dollar company, by learning how to overcome self-doubt and believe I am worthy of my hopes and dreams and I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self-doubt and know that where you come from or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then worthy is for you. It's time to go

from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it. Because in life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the Worthy Movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold. And head to WorthyBook.com now for free gifts, including my five- part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95 page worthy workbook action plan that teaches you

how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo. Oh my God. Worthy, you are worthy. This book is gonna change lives. This book literally will teach you

how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book. Jamie's Book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve.

Jamie's book Worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on WorthyBook.com. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. If you love this episode about changing your relationship with rejection to change your entire life, I promise you, you are gonna love this life-changing episode right here. It's packed with tools that you can apply to your life right now to build happiness

and fulfillment. Check it out!