The Jamie Kern Lima Show - “Successfully Insecure” to Win! Get Shark-Size Confidence with Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran (Pt 2)

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

Full Video Available on YouTube @JamieKernLimaOfficial. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prom...pt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷  Make sure to click the “Follow” button for the show on your favorite podcast app, so you’ll be the first to get each episode!  ____ Are you “successfully insecure” and find out from Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran how you can leverage that to win! Plus she’s sharing her closely held, hard-earn, secrets to success with US today on this brand new, part 2 episode! From letting your kids fail, to sleeping in separate bedrooms with your partner, to inside tips on building confidence in all areas of your life, Barabara is such a powerful example of how all things are possible in your life, when you’re persistent, when you learn how to be reprogram the tape you have playing in your head, and when you don’t let labels other people place on you stick!   And today she’s here sharing stories and insights she’s never shared before! And trust me, you don’t want to miss this episode. Plus we talk all things Shark Tank and I share the shocking thing Barbara did to me, when I walked into the set of the show as a bran new Guest Shark, that I will never forget! I can’t wait to share that with you in this incredible conversation!    You’ve heard Barbara say “You’ve got a deal” on ABC’s hit show Shark Tank for 16 seasons, Barbara Corcoran, is an EMMY Award winning Shark and Executive Producer on the show, she’s the Founder of The Corcoran Group and is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country! She’s also sharp, quick-witted, and SO funny and today, she’s here to EMPOWER YOU to believe in your dreams and to know that your best days are ahead!  Episode Reflection Questions for YOU: Jamie writes prompt questions each episode to spark revelations in your self-worth journey and help you apply the tools and lessons from each episode into your real life right now. Please make sure you’re signed up for Jamie’s free inspirational newsletter  jamiekernlima.com 👈 Get my new book WORTHY plus FREE Bonus gifts including a 95+ page Worthy Workbook and more at WorthyBook.com  For more resources related to today’s episode, click here https://jamiekernlima.com/show/ for the podcast episode page. Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show 9:05 Let Your Kids Fail 11:25 I Can Feel the Vibe of Someone Who's Failing 18:34 Barbara Welcoming Jamie on Shark Tank 25:00 I Will Out Try Anyone And I Will Win 30:14 Setting Priorities In Life 34:32 What You Don't Know About Shark Tank 37:05 Fearless About Rejection It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Click Here to Subscribe to the YouTube Channel Follow me here:  Instagram TikTok Facebook Website —  Sign up for my inspirational newsletter for YOU at: jamiekernlima.com  —  Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!  WORTHY Believe IT

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for some life-changing wisdom and lessons she's never shared before. It's Shark Tank's Barbara Corcoran. I am so excited to share with you part two of this incredible conversation. I will out try anyone, anyone in the universe and try harder than anybody else and I'll win because of it. And I sat down and write a very curt but impactful text to Mark
Starting point is 00:00:27 Burnett himself saying he had made a mistake and everything in my life happened on the heels of failure and I'd like to have him invite me out to compete with the other lone female shark and let the best woman win. I could walk through my sales staff at At any given office, we had like maybe 300 desks. We were seeing people, and I could feel the vibe of someone who was failing. I know I was like a witch's instinct. Oh, no, no, no. Getting rejection or rejected doesn't mean
Starting point is 00:00:58 you're not gonna crush it in that role. It's no indication you're not gonna make it. And it's like how we handle rejection. Have you ever been a mean girl? Have you ever been like competitive? I didn't have the confidence to be a mean girl. I did not know this and I connected with you on such a soul level when I learned this.
Starting point is 00:01:16 But I love that I did a few deals. I know I can't share details. Wait, we did a deal together. Yes, we did. Right now in your life, do you ever have moments where you feel unworthy? I think the danger to feeling unworthy is to believe it. Just to believe it is so damaging.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Just think of it as an old tape that's got to be replaced. For your 70th birthday, you held a mock funeral. Yes, I did. They were shocked to see me dead. Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to they were shocked to see me dead. Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable
Starting point is 00:02:01 in living your best life. All I want you to do is click on the follow or subscribe button on the app that you're listening or watching this episode on. I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many people you're sharing these episodes with. I'm so grateful to be here for you and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you so much for subscribing and following the Jamie Kern Lima show. It means so much to me.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week,
Starting point is 00:02:59 just go to jamiekernlema.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one- One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlema.com or in the link in the show notes. Empowered women, empower women. And today we've got an empowered woman who's gonna empower you on the show. You've heard her say,
Starting point is 00:03:53 you've got a deal on ABC's hit show, Shark Tank, for 16 seasons. Barbara Corcoran is an Emmy award winning shark, an executive producer on the show. She's the founder of the Corcoran Group and Emmy Award winning shark and executive producer on the show. She's the founder of the Corcoran Group and her journey to this moment we're all sharing together right now is nothing short of remarkable. Barbara is one of 10 kids raised in a two bedroom home. She struggled with dyslexia, got straight D's in school, and had 20 jobs by the time she turned 23.
Starting point is 00:04:27 She then borrowed $1,000 and quit her job as a waitress to start a small real estate company in New York City. She grew the Corcoran Group into the largest and best known brand in the brokerage business, and Barbara became one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country. From a thousand dollar loan to a billion dollar business and now she's invested in more than 100 businesses to date.
Starting point is 00:04:55 She's also so sharp, quick witted and so, so funny. Plus there's something she did to me behind the scenes on Shark Tank that I'm going to share with you that made my jaw hit the floor and made my soul explode like a giant heart emoji. I am so excited for this conversation. Barbara Corcoran, welcome to the Jamie Curran Lima Show! I've been looking forward to it so much. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:05:23 I'm so excited and And I just love you. And thank you for being here. This show is going to be, I already know it, such a blessing and so inspiring to so many people. So you've shared a lot about the pain growing up of being teased at school, like dyslexia. Oh, yeah. Because a lot of people right now, whatever age they are,
Starting point is 00:05:42 they're carrying around labels. For me, I carried around the label, I'm not enough most of my life until I realized, oh my gosh. Because who gave you that label? It comes from somewhere. Yeah. I think for me, I mean, I had loving parents. I would not change a thing.
Starting point is 00:05:55 They worked a lot. Yes. So I always kind of felt like I had to, you know, yeah, like do something great for them to show up. So I have. You have. You have nothing to worry about. But now I recognize, oh, wow, that label. For people right now listening or watching that maybe
Starting point is 00:06:17 have a child with a learning disability or dyslexia, what's your advice for them right now? Well, I have deep thoughts about dyslexia, the pluses and the minuses, etc. I've come to believe, well, in my life, it's proven a plus. But I also have two dyslexic children that I was a parent to, and I was tailor-made for them. I had two clunkers. When I got my second daughter and found out she had extreme learning disabilities. I thought, ah, another clunker? Gosh. So, but I was perfectly made for them to bring out the best of each of those children and they're phenomenally successful already. And they're very well balanced and very secure. That's all you want with kids to make them secure.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Unfortunately, dyslexia battles comfort in a child. It's a way of judging a child when they're too young, get the label too young, and it makes them feel, like you said, less than. And so for dyslexia for me, I was a dunce in the class because I couldn't read till seventh grade. So I got that label early that I was a dunce. And when Sister Seldar Marie, the nun from hell, actually told me I was always going to be stupid in second grade because I could never learn to read or write. I believed it
Starting point is 00:07:29 because the kids believe this stuff. But thank God for my mother. She told me I was a genius and I'd learned to fill in all the blanks. And she was right. I became a bullshitter of the best way, you know. Are you allowed to say bullshit on your show? Sure. Okay. I don't want to say it anyway. Yeah. I haven't got her mouth a little bit, you know. All right. But the skill set sure paid off. Let me tell you, without Dyslexia, I should, I would not be nearly as successful as I am. Dyslexic kids have gifts, true gifts, that other kids don't have. They're very intuitive because they've gone through the pain of being looked down upon. It sharpens your intuition very much. So your empathy, it definitely does. You can size people up faster than the other kid in the town. However you can size up a
Starting point is 00:08:15 book, you know, but what's more important sizing of people getting along with people. Very often people who are severely dyslexic are great talkers. I'm a great talker. I can't read, but I sure can talk, okay? And most importantly, when you put down as a kid, you wanna get even. If you have any gumption, you wanna get even. And my whole life has been one long attempt to prove to everybody that I'm not stupid. Isn't that stupid that I would still be worried about that,
Starting point is 00:08:43 but I'm always worried about not having an answer or being called on and stuttering and all the painful things being made to read out loud. That's happened to me at board meetings. Could you read this report? No, I pass it on to the next person. I'm not getting caught in that again. But I think because you're coming out of a hole, you have more fervor. And interesting enough, on all the businesses
Starting point is 00:09:05 I've invested in, Shark Tank, by far my most successful are all owned by dyslexic people. Now maybe because I picked them on purpose, but know this, they're not book smart, but they're street smart. And I think that just is not an accident. But as long as you have a great parent who makes you believe in yourself.
Starting point is 00:09:23 I mean, I had that in my mother. If she didn't tell me I was a genius all the time, she didn't tell me all the time I had a wonderful imagination. If she didn't put me in situations to demonstrate my wonderful imagination, who cared about that except she cared? That's where I got my confidence from. And where do I get my work ethic from, really,
Starting point is 00:09:42 is knowing I had a liability and I had to work harder than everybody else. But I got used to working hard. I had a liability and I had to work harder than everybody else. But I got used to working hard. I'm a great worker. No problem. What was terrible as a kid became my assets as I became older. And then to be a parent to two kids with dyslexia. Oh, they're great.
Starting point is 00:09:59 I kept my eye on one ball raising Tommy and Kate. Self-confidence. That's all I wanted to do. If I keep that confidence, it's a home run. Don't worry about anything, it's a home run. And I also learned from my mother with all children, not just children that struggle in school, with all children, I think you have to let them fail. We are in a culture that you don't want to let a kid fail and get a special tutor, blah blah blah, talk to the teacher, whatever. My mother was a believer
Starting point is 00:10:24 in letting us fail because she wanted to nurture our gene of getting back up and she certainly did. She always said getting back up is where it's at, not excelling. I'm surprised I even tried to excel because she made getting back up sound so good, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Do you think, Barbara, like, do you believe our setbacks or hardships are happening for us in the sense of, like, when you look at what you've gone through in the case of dyslexia and then the skill set that you built, and then now you are a parent and probably have such insight into doing that. Do you believe in that? Do you believe, like, our steps are divinely ordered? Is there a role faith plays in your life? How else could you explain things? There are so many things that are startling in life and you don't know how you got there. Bad things that happen that turn into
Starting point is 00:11:15 the best things in your life. I mean, thank God Ray married my secretary. He's still on 51% of my company. He wasn't really doing anything in the company, you know. Thank God it was dyslexic to learn the skills to deal with feeling like a loser, being a loser, and having the empathy to turn that into great management skill, because that's exactly what it did. I could walk through my sales staff at any given office. We had like maybe 300 desks or a sea of people and I could stand there and I could feel the vibe of someone who was failing. I know I was like a witch's instinct. I walk up, eight desks down, put my hand on the shoulder of the person, say, hey, how you doing?
Starting point is 00:11:58 And they were all set to quit. They always told me that. I was just thinking that I could feel that. Wasn't like they look sad. I could just feel the vibe. You don't get that unless you have an acute sense of harm in your own body of something that happened. My harm came from, don't call on me.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Don't have me read out loud. It was so it was my idea of hell on earth. I mean, so painful as a kid, but I had my great mother after three 30. Yeah, I can go to her and be wonderful in front of her. so painful as a kid, but I had my great mother after 330. Yeah. I could go to her and be wonderful in front of her. Well, we all get to watch you use that, that skillset, in the tank. And you know, I was, I was shocked to learn this.
Starting point is 00:12:37 I did not know this and I connected with you on such a soul level when I learned this, that you initially were gonna be a shark on Shark Tank season one. Yes. And then all of a sudden they said you're out, you're not. It was essentially a rejection. Of course it was. From Shark Tank you were out. Yes. And most people learning, oh they didn't pick me anymore. Yeah. Would have went and cried, would have whatever. But will you share what you did when you got word that they're not picking you for a season?
Starting point is 00:13:05 You know, I hadn't already signed the contract, but it's one way. I didn't think about that. I had already told my friends and family I was going to Hollywood. They were, whoa, Hollywood? Yeah, I already bought my real leather luggage. So I looked like I belonged there. You know, I'd done all that in my head. And when they told me a week before my flight
Starting point is 00:13:25 that they had picked someone else, there was only room for one woman, and they had chosen another woman, I was shocked. I did what everybody does, I think, when you are met with hardship. I felt sorry for myself. I was also thinking, what am I going to tell my family, friends, how embarrassing?
Starting point is 00:13:42 I tasted it, I could see it. When I could see things, they always come true for me. And I thought, this is the first time it's not coming true. How could that be? How could that? I mean, why would they pick another one? Why didn't they tell me sooner? Why didn't they? And then I got control of myself. And I just got angry. And that's also a trait of mine. And I sat down and write a very curt but impactful text to Mark Burnett himself, saying he had made a mistake and everything in my life happened on the heels of failure. And I'd like to have him invite me out to compete
Starting point is 00:14:14 with the other lone female shark and let the best woman win, which is a little aggressive, I realize. And I gave him my reasons why I was so good when my back was against the wall, including the Trump story, including against the wall, including the Trump story, including Sister Stella Marie, including the old boy network who wouldn't let me into their club until I became the number one rival. I put it all out there, short, rewrote it and send it.
Starting point is 00:14:35 And the next day I was called until to come out and compete. Let me tell you, you know what it's like out of Shark Tank because you've been a guest shark. You know how they put your name in the gold star on the trailer? So know you have your own Gold Star in a trailer even though they're dumpy and all. But when they took the other ladies Gold Star off at lunchtime it was like, wow. But the lesson there was I was doing what I always do well. When the chips are down I know how to come back. I had formed a habit of trying hard. And God, was it a great day? You put your... I just...
Starting point is 00:15:09 Feeling sorry is just terrible. So worse in your instance than anyone. A victim role, a victim role is like giving away your full power for anything. I'm a victim, take my power. No way. So in that moment, like you competed for your spot, you got that spot, season one. Now 16 seasons later, we're sitting here talking about it. Yeah, thank God. The lesson there I just connected with so profoundly
Starting point is 00:15:34 because I hear from so many people, they're like, oh, things aren't going my way, they said no again. I'm like, oh no, no, no. Getting rejection or rejected doesn't mean you're not gonna crush it in that role. It's no indication you're not going to make it. And it's like how we handle rejection, right? Our relationship with rejection, the meaning of it.
Starting point is 00:15:52 So personal. Signed to it. Yeah. And look what you did. You were like, okay, I just got rejected. Instead of just going away, I'm going to write Mark Burnett a letter. Well, I didn't do it so fast. Remember my first thought was what's wrong with me.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Right, right, right, right. That was my first thought. Oh gosh, I guess I'm not good enough. I guess I'm not blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And how, what, what, how many, how much time between that feeling and then you decided to write the letter? Well, I gave myself a good 10 minutes to be sorry. I figured I might as well enjoy it for a little while. It feels good to be sorry for yourself. You know, poor me, poor me. Yeah. And rejection sucks. I mean, I still feel hurt when I get it
Starting point is 00:16:31 and I reframe it right away, but I still feel it. Don't take it personally. Nope, don't take it personally. Don't you take it personally initially. I always go to that. Sometimes I'm getting more and I feel like the more we put in the reps in life. Well, your money in the bank helps you.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Yeah. Yeah. And enough times we're kind of like what we were talking about earlier. I look back, I'm like, thank God that dude broke up with me cause that would have been a disaster or thank God that investor didn't think women would buy makeup from, you know, people that had my body type. I mean, I've had every type of rejection, but I look back and it's like, okay, now, you know, it's all happening for me. And now 16 seasons later, have you ever, you know, have you ever had a fight with another shark that lasted beyond the set? No, it lasts about three minutes. You know, it's a competitive set,
Starting point is 00:17:21 you know. Yeah. Sometimes I can't get my word in because I have a smaller voice than Lori and most of the, and all the men actually. So it's very hard for me to break in. You almost have to be rude and just charging, which is not my nature. So I've learned to be more rude actually on Shark Tank. But no, the minute you have a drink at the end of the day, if you have a drink by yourself or with the sharks, it's gone. There's no reason. You're in a foxhole together for four, what is it, 16 years? No, we're brothers, sisters, come on. Doing deals together, all of it. I had the best time, and I know I can't share
Starting point is 00:17:55 what deals I did yet, but I love that I did a few deals. I know I can't share details. Wait, we did a deal together. Yes we did. How's it going? Yes we did. Great, yeah, a deal together. Yes, we did. How's it going? Yes, we did. Great. Yeah, everything's great. I just was so grateful how welcoming you are.
Starting point is 00:18:10 You're easy to welcome. You know, and also, like, listen, you, you, you know, everybody, everyone has seen and felt when they walk in somewhere and they feel like they're not welcome or they don't belong. Or especially, unfortunately, there's still when they walked in somewhere and they feel like they're not welcome or they don't belong or especially Unfortunately, there's still a lot of mean girls out there and women that think like oh, you know, they get competitive versus going Oh, you know what?
Starting point is 00:18:35 You know, I'm really securing my power and I'm gonna pour into another woman And that's why I think it was so I almost got emotional before the show started because for you to walk in up to me, for you to give me a cheat sheet to help me with questions if I needed it, for you to raise me up that way, I just felt like you, like your intention was just to multiply my impact. And that felt really, really good and really special. Have you ever, have you always been that way? Or have you ever been, have you ever been a mean girl? Have you ever been like competitive? I didn't have the confidence to be a mean girl.
Starting point is 00:19:13 You have to be, whether it be true or not, you have to be securing your seat, I think, to be a mean girl. No, I think I'm more of the cut of cloth like my mom. If she had a neighbor in our small town that was obnoxious, she made her point too much so actually, it was almost hard to watch to really understand the lady and invite her in for tea. And it's like, what's she doing here? But I think she paid it forward. You know, she did for others, well, what the Christians always say, do for
Starting point is 00:19:42 others what you want them to do to you. She was very good in that way. I just did for you what I wish somebody had done for me on my first day on the set, because both Kevin O'Leary and Robert Hershbeck had had three years of practice in Canada, and they didn't tell Damon and I, Lori was not yet there, they didn't tell us that these sharks
Starting point is 00:20:03 that were stuck on the set on day one had this vast background. They were like machine guns firing those questions. And Damon and I just had to, ah, took us a while to even get a question down. So I was just paying it forward, so to speak. You know, it pays off. It makes the world a friendly place. Yeah. And I believe that through and through. I believe, you know, we get back what we give. And sometimes it's not immediately, but it always happens. It always happens. A golden rule. I believe that. Well, sometimes I go too far. Yesterday, I decided I was going to say hello to every single person
Starting point is 00:20:36 in the street that I met in the four blocks to my office. Let me tell you, just to be friendly and smile, especially older people that probably never had anyone talk to them. I travel those four blocks. I probably said hello in the city blocks, probably 80, 90 people. Three said hello back. Wow.
Starting point is 00:20:54 And I decided I'm not gonna do this anymore. I feel badly now. Only three people were friendly today. You're trying to put it out. It is New York. I know I have to think of something else. If you come out, come visit me in California. People will say hi back to you.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I promise. Yes, they do. We can go the Midwest together. We're gonna get hugs back. The South, forget about it. They'll say hello to us 10 times. Yes, yes, that's the best. That's really cool that you... No more hellos for me in the morning.
Starting point is 00:21:20 You know, I'm obsessed with self-worth. I wrote a book called Worthy. You should be, because it's all journey. What a one there. Yeah. Do you feel right now in your life, do you ever have moments where you feel unworthy? There's so much more coming up in this episode.
Starting point is 00:21:36 You are not gonna wanna miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you.
Starting point is 00:22:09 In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be?
Starting point is 00:22:47 Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at WorthyBook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out.
Starting point is 00:23:26 It's called One-on-One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours, and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more.
Starting point is 00:23:56 It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernleema.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. Do you feel right now in your life, do you ever have moments where you feel unworthy? All the time.
Starting point is 00:24:22 All the time. I've never been anyone who was worthwhile who didn't feel unworthy? All the time. All the time. I've never been anyone who was worthwhile who didn't feel unworthy. I mean, people who label unworthy as something that's real, all it is is a misconception because you haven't filled your potential yet. When you fill your potential you'll see how unworthy you are and you're very worthy the minute you get what you want. I think the danger to feeling unworthy is to believe it. Just to believe it is so damaging. Just think of it as an old tape that's got to be replaced.
Starting point is 00:24:51 I mean, I say it cavalier in a way, but I so have practiced it and believed it. So I'm not just blowing smoke here. It's everything. It's really your self-worth is everything. But people think that kids even, I've asked all the time by parents, how do you teach your children self-confidence, especially if they have a disability in learning in any kind. And I always say the same old thing because I really believe it,
Starting point is 00:25:17 teach them to try. Don't teach them to win. Say you're not going to win, you probably won't even do well, but you got to go out there and try. I will out try anyone, anyone in the universe and try harder than anybody else and I'll win because of it. But while you're feeling unworthy, you don't feel like you have the right to try. You form a new habit of yourself if you just try. The reason I'm confident is because I know I'll out try anybody.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I know I'll always show up. I know I'll out try anybody. I know I'll always show up. I know I'll get back up. That's what teach me self confidence, but still there are times where you feel unworthy, intimidating. And as long as it doesn't happen all the time, keeps it honest. But I think it's a trait you have to learn to undo and replace with something else by trying, just trying. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. I, I, I've always kind of felt, at least for me so far,
Starting point is 00:26:06 it's like a lifelong journey, you know, of because I still have those feelings almost every day. I'm happy to hear that. Are you? Yes, I am. I'm happy. Mystery loves company. Oh, I know, right?
Starting point is 00:26:18 But it's good. I think sometimes people feel like they're doomed if they feel it. It's like, no, no, no, we all feel it. And then here's what we do about it. Here's what we do about it in real time. As long as you do something about it I think that's key. Right. Not well in it. For your 70th birthday you held a mock funeral. Yes I did. Can you share?
Starting point is 00:26:37 It was fun. A lot of fun. Can you share your your thoughts and intentions behind that and yeah tell me about it tell me about it. Tell me about it. It was a lot of work to begin with, but I heard that my friends were gonna give me a surprise 70th birthday party. I didn't wanna be 70, and I sure as heck didn't wanna surprise it.
Starting point is 00:26:55 I wasn't in charge of. So I decided to let them plan the little party, get the date and surprise them. So they thought they were coming to a black tie surprise party for me, and I was gonna walk in, surprise ya! But I surprised them because I went downstairs of my apartment, it's a duplex, and I set up the whole living room as a funeral parlor with a casket, nuns praying, priests praying, everybody was praying, and I was laying out in the casket, open casket, and I was dead.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I wore a beautiful gown. I look better than mostket, open casket, and I was dead. I wore a beautiful gown. I looked better than most dead people. And I had my makeup perfectly done. So I didn't mind showing off myself in the casket. Like, I look good. So when the time came, once I was in the casket, and they were waiting upstairs for me to arrive from a business trip to shout surprise, my brother said, quick, she's coming downstairs.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Everybody downstairs. And everybody rushed down the stairs. Probably 150-some people rushed down the stairs and went to my living room. And as they turned the corner, I heard what I had hoped to hear, a gasp. As they saw dead Barbara. It was so much fun. They were shocked to see me dead. And then they realized, how could I really be dead? And
Starting point is 00:28:06 little by little, they nervously started laughing. And they toasted me and said what they liked about me, what was wrong about me. And I had a rabbi give a talk. I had a priest Monsignor dressed up as a talker. And I jumped out of... Were you still in the casket at this point? I'm still in the casket. How many times can you hear what people will say about you after you're dead? I heard it all. I know who likes me, what they think, what I did wrong. I know it all.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Even my kids talked about me. But then after everything was done and the blessing was done, I jumped out of the casket and I did the tango, because I had secretly been taking lessons in my beautiful red gown. I felt so young and vital and we had a blast of a party. But my doorman told me the next morning
Starting point is 00:28:50 that with all the guests going in he had looked up online and I was declared dead. What's a site where they give your life and where you went to school and the most common site that everybody looks at to find out about somebody. To read the obituaries and stuff. Yeah to me and I was an obituary and they changed it the next day. How they thought I was dead, I don't know. That is wild. It was fun. That is wild.
Starting point is 00:29:13 But I can never give another birthday party because I can't think of a better one. How are you going to do a better one than that? I'm not going to do one. They're always pushing me, my friends, my family. Come on, we need a great party. And you know how to give them. I give great parties, but I can't think of anything better. And you know how to give them, I give great parties,
Starting point is 00:29:25 but I can't think of anything better. If you come up with an idea, send it my way, I will do it. Why didn't you want to turn 70? Because 70 to me sounded like an old lady, whereas 60, I convinced myself wasn't an old lady. So just that one year. And I had accomplished everything in my life that I should, but more and more people started asking me when I was gonna retire which wasn't
Starting point is 00:29:49 good. No I don't think I'm gonna retire. I just felt like all the signals I was misinterpreting around me. Misinterpreting really. Saw them through my new slanted eyes 70, 70, 70 and I didn't want to go there. Once you pass your birthday then you're 71 then 72. Easy. You don't mind at all. I didn't want to go there. Once you pass your birthday, then you're 71, then 72. Easy. You don't mind at all. 75 didn't even hurt. Now I'm 76. What are your priorities in life now? And do you see them changing the next decade? They are changing because unlike you, I have older children. They're 30 and 19, Kate is 19. And my son is married with two children. So my priority is, I hate to admit it, on my grandchildren.
Starting point is 00:30:27 I didn't think I'd be that kind of a older lady where I live with my grandchildren, but they're so darn cute and they love you so much, you can't help yourself. So that's my first priority. My kids are my second priority, to stay close to them. And then my third priority is to live life to the fullest so that I don't
Starting point is 00:30:45 go to sleep on it. That's all. Whatever that whatever that might entail. Yeah. Yeah. Do people ask you about that a lot about retiring? Oh, it's on when you never get your never when you're going to retire. Why? Why would I want to retire? I love my work. I love what I'm doing. Do I look that old? No, not really. Just wondering because everyone I have as a friend now, even the younger friends are all retired. And that's amazing to me. I mean, they're keeping busy and having a great life
Starting point is 00:31:11 and they're more free to travel when they want than I am. And sometimes I get envious and I think, why, if I didn't have my work, what I would do tomorrow morning? What, read the paper an extra time or two? No, I don't think so. Yeah. Not worth it to me. What does success mean to you? being successful
Starting point is 00:31:30 I think it's Well for me, maybe I'm too needy but it's really Being able to look at yourself or your life and think that people really like you for the right reasons that you've helped people Not that I'm a Pollyanna, but I do help a lot of people through Shark Tank, without a doubt.
Starting point is 00:31:49 I get people to believe in themselves. I've helped all the people I employed over the years to sort of really have the satisfaction of feeling like you did something worthwhile. I think it's feeling like you did the right things in life. Yeah. Yeah. To help other people. It's never the stuff you get. It's never the false feedback you get.
Starting point is 00:32:08 It's always a genuine, uh, somebody saying thanks or not saying thanks and you know, they, they were really helped by you. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even expect to thank you anymore for anything. It's just in detail. It's what you feel about it yourself. That's counts. Just the offering you put out there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you have helped so many, oh my gosh, entrepreneurs and the ripple effect of all that. And also, um,
Starting point is 00:32:37 you know, I remember when you and I did the press junket for Shark Tank and I remember learning that people would be surprised to know that you only fly coach on airplanes. Do you know what a first class ticket costs? You probably do, right? You probably don't look. Yeah, I look. Yeah. Listen, the way I figured is a coach ticket is about 25% of a first class ticket. I get the free miles, I could give them away. I have everybody in my family flying on my free miles. What's more
Starting point is 00:33:02 important that everybody gets vacations, or that I'm comfortable in first class? I guess I could afford to do both, but I won't, because I'll be in coach feeling really smug, because I know I have three plane tickets that could take somebody somewhere. It could take somebody somewhere. It all accumulates, you know? You see, love, when you...
Starting point is 00:33:18 I love just sharing this with the world. I know people can know this or guess it or assume it, but your generosity and when you talk about your homes, right? You said the one thing you love is homes. Yeah. Yeah, you have a scheduling system where people that you know and love are always staying at all your different homes. So they're all being used. There's not a single bed in any of my homes. It's ever empty. How amazing is that? Can I tell you what is more satisfying than someone saying thank you we had a blast. You don't even know who the we is extended family their family whatever we had a blast and people have a blast in my ski chalet it's big if it's a lot of people they go to
Starting point is 00:33:57 my beach house I don't mean to brag about how many houses they come to New York City wherever I live never an empty bed and boy is that satisfying. I mean, what really happens, the more money you have, the less you use your homes. That's the truth. You sleep there very few nights and they go to waste. What a shame. I wouldn't keep them if they went to it. Once in a while someone cancels, but I don't take to it well because someone else could
Starting point is 00:34:21 have used that bed if they had told me sooner. Just like three other people could have had a seat on this plane. You got it. Yeah. What is something that people would be shocked to know about Shark Tank and don't know? Shark Tank. I think a lot of people don't know that when you see at home a Shark Tank pitch is usually about eight minutes, sometimes 12 minutes long, and you know yourself from being on Shark Tank as a guest shark that the pitches can run an hour and a half long at times, an hour, typically 45 minutes.
Starting point is 00:34:51 So it's all edited down. So I think what I hear from so many people is, how do you decide so fast? We had an hour, hour and a half to decide. We didn't have the eight minutes that you think you saw on Shark Tank. So I think people are surprised at how long the taping actually is. And you know how tedious those days are. How many hours are they? 12 hour days between makeup and appearing and getting off the set.
Starting point is 00:35:13 It's like 12 hour days, day after day. But we get to learn a lot about the entrepreneur that the piece of person at home does not know about. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have to say it's an honor for me to get to know you behind the scenes, to know that you're as amazing, even more amazing, behind the scenes as on air.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Come on, you're an easy one. No, it's really, it's beautiful. I feel Barbara in my life now. I feel blessed to have met a lot of people that I think are wonderful. And you don't always see that congruency when you meet them in real life. Oh, between a public face and a... Yeah. Oh, really? wonderful and you don't always see that congruency when you meet them in real life.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Oh, between a public face and a... Yeah. Oh, really? You're just like your heart and your generosity and you're such a badass that's crushed in business that doesn't take, you know what, from anybody and yet you're also an empowered woman who empowers other women. You care about other people. You're so generous.
Starting point is 00:36:01 The ripple effect of everything you continue to do and will continue to do for a long time. Listen, the ripple effect just happens, honestly. It just happens. But the one that I was always interested in was winning, honestly. The ripple just came because I won. I'm very happy I won. Yeah. I'm not sure I'm so generous. And you've won a lot. You've won a lot. I have.
Starting point is 00:36:22 You've won a lot. I continue to win. You continue to win. And I continue to lose. What else is there? Yeah. Yeah. Makes it interesting. Well, thank you for being so welcoming, so loving, so
Starting point is 00:36:34 inspiring for me. I'm grateful that I- I'm happy you came to my hometown. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm grateful my Shark Tank experience was alongside of you. Yeah. Especially, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:46 I'm sure you'll be back because the producer loved you. I'm sure he'll be back. Make sure you ask for the order because the crowded field asked to be back. Asked to be back. Please. Through someone else so you don't have to hear a potential rejection. Just get them to keep asking. That's what I do.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Yeah. It's so funny. I'm like, I think you and I are similar this way. I'm so fearless about rejection now. I've just had it so many times that it does not faze me. Um, but yeah, but thank you for that. Ask. You told me that you said ask me back right away. So I will officially ask to be back on the tank. I did love it, but you were a big part of that too.
Starting point is 00:37:18 And I just want to honor you and just say thank you for the incredible woman, icon, legend, business boss, badass, and amazing grandma that you are. And I'm just excited to celebrate you for decades to come and all that you continue to win at. All that you continue to win at. I have so much energy on my side here. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:37:41 If you loved today's episode, my only ask is that you please click the follow or subscribe button for this show on your app and give it a rating or review. And then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. Thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that
Starting point is 00:38:19 couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love.
Starting point is 00:38:58 I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful, and when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that
Starting point is 00:39:36 could benefit your life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering
Starting point is 00:40:13 confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlema.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you
Starting point is 00:40:51 delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlema.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at JamieKernLima.com or in the link in the show notes. I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's going to save people.
Starting point is 00:41:35 Worthy, your new beautiful book Worthy. Get this book. This book? I'm telling you, it's a book that can change anybody's life. Who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's missing in your life. I have to tell you. It's powerful. It's happening. It's worth it. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you. I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection
Starting point is 00:42:07 to founder of IT Cosmetics, a billion dollar company, by learning how to overcome self doubt and believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams. And I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self doubt and know that where you come from
Starting point is 00:42:33 or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then Worthy is for you. It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Because in life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the Worthy Movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold and head to WorthyBook.com now for free gifts, including my five part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95 page Worthy workbook action plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo. Oh my god. Worthy, you are worthy. This book is going to change lives.
Starting point is 00:43:33 This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book. Jamie's Book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's Book Worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on WorthyBook.com. away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified
Starting point is 00:44:20 professional. If you love this incredible episode of Barbara Corcoran, I promise you, you are going to qualified professional.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.