The Jamie Kern Lima Show - The 3 Tools You Need to Master Arguments Now, Plus the #1 Way to Diffuse One! With Jefferson Fisher

Starting point is 00:00:00 Today, you're going to learn how to master arguments in your life. You asked for it, and backed by popular demand, communication phenom and trial attorney Jefferson Fisher is here to talk with you and me today about three tools to help you master arguments and conversations, plus the number one way to defuse an argument and the one phrase that immediately shuts down a toxic conversation. Jefferson Fisher is a trial lawyer, a fifth-generation, award-winning attorney, writer, and speaker whose work has gained him millions of followers all over the world through short, simple,

Starting point is 00:00:40 practical social media videos teaching people how to argue less and talk more. Whether it's handling a heated conversation, dealing with a difficult personality, or standing your ground with confidence, Jefferson helps you communicate during life's everyday arguments and conversations. And his brand new book called The Next Conversation, Argue Less, talk more, is out now. Jefferson says you can change everything about your life by what you say next. And you and I are in for a treat because Jefferson has stepped away from his busy legal practice. He got on an airplane.

Starting point is 00:01:18 He flew here to be with you and me today. Whether you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I wanna welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. Remember this episode is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know because it can change their life too.

Starting point is 00:01:42 Before we jump into this episode, I'd be so grateful if you'd take two seconds to click on the follow or subscribe button on the app you're listening or watching the podcast on. It'll help you because you're going to be the very first to get the episodes and it's going to help the show because by you following it, it's more likely to be promoted to others to discover. And if you leave a five-star review, that would be even more amazing.

Starting point is 00:02:05 And just thank you so much. This is our show together and it truly means so much to me. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima! Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima! Jefferson Fisher, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show!

Starting point is 00:02:21 Thank you so much for. Jamie Kern Lima. Jefferson Fisher, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show. Thank you so much for having me, Jamie. I'm honored to be here. I'm so excited you're here. Wow, what has happened with you, with your advice, with your videos, it has become a phenomenon. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:02:43 You're very sweet, thank you. Yeah, it's truly been a blessing and right now I'm just holding on. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm excited so much to dive into today. I am so excited to talk to you about arguments. How we master arguments and communication and the tools that we can apply

Starting point is 00:03:05 to master arguments. You talk about one of the most powerful ways to diffuse an argument, the one phrase that shuts down a toxic conversation, and I wanna ask you about three tools though that you teach that I think are so powerful. Your new book, The Next Conversation, that I've read cover to cover. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:03:28 It is just packed with things we can apply to our life right now. Thank you. But I want to ask you about specifically when it comes to mastering arguments and conversations, because we all have them and some of us have them but avoid them. Some of us don't want to deal with them, some of us don't know how, some of us let them take us down, some of us let them feel deeply personal, we don't know how to handle them, maybe we didn't learn from our parents or we didn't learn from how we were raised or school. I think that these are the tools that can fundamentally change all the relationships in your life. And so three tools you talk about when it comes to mastering

Starting point is 00:04:11 arguments and conversations, can you talk about conversational breath, quick scan, and a small talk? Yes. These are all about saying it with control. So when you think about a conversation that turns into an argument, like it's just that sense that the tone didn't sound right. I don't like how they said that. And all of a sudden things start to spur in your mind, and maybe your nostrils start to flare and you start to kind of bow up a little bit. Or somebody says a word that's not kind and you start to spiral. Did they just say what I think they said? When those things kind of happen, thoughts start to speed up. So does your breath. Your breath gets faster, like you're ready to run. That's your fight or flight. You're ready to run. And or you're ready to hurt. So you really want to say that

Starting point is 00:05:01 that hurtful word. You want the word to cut because you're wanting that threat of whatever they said or Whatever they did to go away. They just undermine me your body says I don't like that. Hey, I don't like that and all of a sudden you start to get defensive a conversational breath the power of it is it allows you to Sink back down to make sure that your emotions stay in check where you don't feel emotionally flooded It always keeps your logical analytical side of your brain in motion. Same thing with Navy SEALs in the military. They do tactical breathing. So what a conversational breath does, it takes advantage of the research

Starting point is 00:05:35 that's already out there on what they call a physiological sigh. And so it's injecting a sigh into your breath without sounding like one, but you get the benefits of it. And how you do it is you breathe in, and at the very top, you breathe in just a little bit more, for one second, and you release. And so always the exhale needs to be a little bit longer than the inhale. So it's typically a two-second inhale, then a one-second at the top, and then you got about a five to seven,

Starting point is 00:06:06 or five, six second exhale. And you just do that often. That's gonna be your first breath that you take. That's going to allow you to continue to keep your analytical side engaged before you go into that argument. It's gonna keep you calm every single time. So that's the power of a conversational breath.

Starting point is 00:06:24 It's like swimming, but you never have to go up for air. It allows you to stay locked in, in the zone. So it changes your body in an argument. It takes advantage of what you know about your body. What do we know? We know that we engage in fight or flight. You get that threat, that trigger, and all of a sudden I'm on fire. The breath does. It's the number one way of pulling yourself down and saying, no, no, no, there's no threat. I'm not going to be emotionally overloaded in this moment. I'm going to make sure I'm locked in. And

Starting point is 00:06:55 that's what happens when you say calm, you know, the person goes starts a rapid, rapid, rapid, and they try to draw you in. That's in, that's where the power is, is you're allowing yourself to stay calm in that moment. And somebody being calm in the face of conflict is a very, it's an impressive moment. When you see people that are calm in the face of fear or face of stress, it's a sign that this person is emotionally regulated.

Starting point is 00:07:22 They know how to keep themselves in check. This is so good because, you know, in a leadership role, if you're leading a team, if you're head of the family, if any of it, right, and you are the one that's able to keep your calm in these situations, people automatically respect you and they automatically see you as the person to turn to for leadership. And so much of our, for many of us, our humanness, we react so fast, like, what did you say? Wait, what? Uh-uh, did you, I mean, it's just so easy to do it. And so Jefferson, so this tool, this tool's big, okay. Okay, because this is how you get your power back

Starting point is 00:08:02 and this is how you don't lose your power in an argument. Like when it's just getting started. So when you feel like an argument's happening or it's transpiring and you feel it brewing, do you do this right away? You just take a breath, you go in for a few seconds. Can you teach us one more time? I'm gonna do it with you.

Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's gonna be two seconds. Do it with us at home. Okay. One second at the top. And then about six seconds out And it's allowing you to pull it out if you can you try and do it through your nose because it's smaller nasal passages Breath goes out slower that calms you down

Starting point is 00:08:40 So it's it's a way of when your mouth breathing all the time you breathe in more oxygen And it triggers you a little bit more it kind of keeps you in a little great state of anxiety when you're always breathing with your mouth. Breathing through your nose allows you to slow it down. So when you see, when you ever see somebody that they're unhappy and they kind of their nostrils flare and they go like they're trying to, their body is in that moment without them even knowing it, try to calm them down through their breathing. And so when you're able to concentrate on your breath, it truly, it's the number one thing, Jamie, that you can do to calm yourself in the moment before you escalate. Because what happens if you don't take that breath

Starting point is 00:09:19 is exactly what you said. It's the, excuse me, did you say, and you start to just boom you're done you're gone. And now you're in fight or fight. Yeah it's extremely hard. Totally differently. Yeah. You've lost your power. And you're not the same person. You're not the same person. That's what I call the ignition phase. As soon as things start to turn to friction and they combust you're now ignited and now your your pupils they'll dilate. You ever seen that? They'll dilate to make sure that you're focused in.

Starting point is 00:09:47 So your focus narrows, so you can concentrate on what's around you. Make sure it's your body saying, do I need to run? Is there something under the bush? What have we got? I mean, that's why your palms feel sweaty all of a sudden. You don't feel hungry because your body's suppressing any hunger

Starting point is 00:10:01 to get you ready to run. Your heartbeat goes faster. That's why people, their voice will shake, their eyes will water. It's their body preparing them to get going. People who want to leave a conversation. This I know will resonate with anybody. You've been in that conversation on the phone and all of a sudden you just go, I just want out. People who want to leave a room. People want to to leave a room. People who want to hang up the phone.

Starting point is 00:10:27 It's the emotion, it's the overwhelm of their fight or flight going, get out of here. Get away from the threat. I just need to leave. So it's the same way with people. Let's say we have a couple that is, they're not great at communicating. When they're in fight or flight,

Starting point is 00:10:43 it is natural to want to pick up something and throw it. I mean, it's just what it is. And instead we do it with our words. The flip side of it is to run from that, your flight is, I want to leave, I want to slam the door, I want to get away from them. I don't want to talk to them anymore. It's the same exact concept. You're just doing it with your words.

Starting point is 00:11:02 So good. And the second one, second tool, on this topic of mastering arguments, that's so good. Just that tool right there. That's really, really good. And again, I love that we can just do it because you're taking your power back.

Starting point is 00:11:16 You're not going into fight or flight and you're less likely to do things you regret. You're more likely to be able to unravel and resolve. And ask yourself questions like, where's this coming from? And that's a very powerful question. Ask yourself when you're taking that breath. And when I say conversational breath and walking through you with it here, that's exaggerated. You easily can do it and it does not look at all like you're doing it. I use conversational breaths, that physiological sigh before I go speak.

Starting point is 00:11:44 I might do it in a moment where I might be nervous. Using that as a way to just calm my nerves. I'll stop shaking because my body's pumped up, it's excited. But it's a great time to ask yourself in moments of conflict, where is that coming from? To ask that from that other person in your mind when they make that comment. Where is that coming from? How do they feel threatened? What is threatening them? And that's the secret of seeing it with controls that you not only get to notice these symptoms of what triggers you, it's also showing you and revealing to you the signs in the other person that when you hear that raised voice from them, what it truly is, is a plea from their body to connect, to remove the threat.

Starting point is 00:12:28 Wow. So you can apply this to every type of situation in your day-to-day life. And then when you have clients on the stand, and do you prep them like, okay, when this other attorney comes after you, do you teach them this tool to not take the bait and just react and go somewhere they don't want to go. It's one of my proudest moments when I can see a client who was struggling, getting nervous, they did not like it. I mean, what I do is I'm offering them to the wolves and for people to try to hurt their credibility, prove them wrong. And a lot of things are at stake. But when they take a breath and I walk it through them,

Starting point is 00:13:05 I mean, it's always, we run through a list and one of the things I'll have them repeat is, oh, what's the first thing you do? And they say, my first word is my breath. To allow them, when they get that question from the opposing attorney, they're going to breathe, they're not gonna automatically engage because that's how you know that you're gonna start

Starting point is 00:13:23 to spiral unless you give it to them. But That's the power of just a conversational breath allows you to do a whole lot more. Alright the second tool there's so much more coming up in this episode you are not gonna want to miss it but first I wanted to share this with you. In life you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams you stay stuck at the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and

Starting point is 00:13:57 Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be.

Starting point is 00:14:46 Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at WorthyBook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you. My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning It's a love letter from me to you

Starting point is 00:15:33 From my soul to yours and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment Plus when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet,

Starting point is 00:16:00 you can sign up for free at jamiekernlema.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. All right, the second tool, quick scan. Yes. Quick scan. Yes, so quick scanning is something that developed over meditating,

Starting point is 00:16:24 which was new to me, and of its ability to scan your body in real time. Often if I'm getting worked up, it's because my shoulders are really tense. My jaw is... I clench my jaw a lot, but that's where I hold my stress, or in my shoulders. So you can tell things when your fists are clenched. And what we do is we ignore those symptoms. So many times if you scan your body,

Starting point is 00:16:51 meaning right now if you just sat and go, okay, I'm just gonna breathe, what's my body telling me? Where's my discomfort? Maybe you had a pain in your back, you didn't really realize. Do you start at your head and just kind of like, do you close your eyes or can you do it without anyone else knowing if you're like in a crowded room?

Starting point is 00:17:06 Right, you can do it exactly where you are right now. Okay, everyone at home do this with us right now. You can do it. Teach us how to do this. Absolutely. You can do it right where you're sitting right now. So let's say even if you're driving, you can do it too. It is the ability to start with your head

Starting point is 00:17:24 and slowly scan down your body And you're gonna be looking for where you tight. Where are you holding your tension? Where are you? Where do you have your knots? It might be in your jaw might be behind your ears It might be in your your shoulders. It might even be Sometimes in your your feet of how you're positioning yourself sometimes in your feet of how you're positioning yourself, where is the stress coming from? And what you need to do is find a word, and it's going to come to you. A promise is going to come to you. You're going to find a word of how you're feeling in this moment.

Starting point is 00:17:56 Just take a second to think about it. What's the word that's coming to you in this moment? There's no right or wrong. And you know what? You don't even have to find a word if you don't want to. It's just you're expressing the feeling. Your body knows it. And once you have it, try to say it in your head.

Starting point is 00:18:12 And when you do, relax your body right in that moment. And automatically, you're gonna feel more control of your body. You're gonna feel more control of your mind. Because what you're doing is you're finding in that moment where the stress is, you're releasing it, and you're labeling your emotions. What I say is when you can claim it, you control it. So when you can find that, for example, let's say I'm feeling tense, or I'm feeling angry, or I'm patient. I do this when I'm in the, I'm gonna say I'm at the grocery store, it's taking forever,

Starting point is 00:18:46 which yeah, a lot to be said there, but if I say, just scan my body, say patients or impatient, all of a sudden I'm now labeling what exactly I'm feeling in real time. And then I feel like, okay, it's separated from myself. I'm detaching from it. I am not de-feeling. I am only experiencing that feeling. And over time, what I've learned is, you don't have to have this full top of the head

Starting point is 00:19:13 to the bottom of the toes. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Like right now, I can tell you where I'm feeling tension or I'm carrying my stress of all what's happening. And the more you understand where it's coming from, the better you're gonna be able to ask questions about it because your body's hiding stress. As a wonderful book, The Body Keeps the Score.

Starting point is 00:19:34 I mean, it's just this idea of your body knows stress where you're keeping it, way better than you do. I would be the first to tell you that two years ago, if you said, hey, do you get stressed? You have anxiety? I'd say, no, no, I don't. In February of two years ago, I had my first panic attack and I thought I was, I thought I was dying. I thought I was having a heart attack because I was so convinced when the doctor came in and he goes, do you have anxiety? I said, no.

Starting point is 00:20:03 I remember looking at my wife and like, tell him, I don't have anxiety. I'm cold as a cucumber. And she looked at him, she like nodded, like, yes, he does. So often your body is the one that keeps the stress as you just, you're convincing yourself otherwise. So doing a quick scan is a very easy, easy way that you can do it anytime, anywhere that's going to allow you to better recognize how you're feeling in that moment. That's so good. Let's just say you're in a room with a group and someone's doing something and you're getting so angry, you're about to say something or it's really bothering you. So in that moment, I'm just letting anyone knowing it, you can just scan your body, then have that word, which might be frustration or disbelief or betrayal

Starting point is 00:20:45 or whatever it might be. And in your mind, you're naming it. And then now you're sort of like able to observe it. You feel it in your body. You make the decision to sort of like release it if you can, or at least acknowledge it. And now you're more in control about, huh, maybe right now in this moment,

Starting point is 00:21:02 I'm not going to roll my eyes at the person, or I'm not going to get up and leave or I'm not gonna say something I might regret. You kind of do this tool so that you're in control and you can decide how am I gonna respond. You got it. Yeah. In my mind I have a desk. Like I have a desk, I have my file cabinets in my mind of what I like to do and think of with a quick scan. It's like I'm writing it down on a sheet of paper and I'm looking at it and then I am making the choice to put it back down on the desk. As I'm not carrying it, I'm not putting it with me, I'm not putting it in my pocket, I'm not wearing it. I have now

Starting point is 00:21:37 observed it and go, huh, okay, that's anger. All right. And then I put it back down. And you leave it. And then you leave it. And it's not stuck on you, it's not in you. It's not with you. Exactly. It doesn't mean that wasn't valid. It doesn't mean that it wasn't real, that I didn't feel it. It's just what do you do with it? What do you do with it? Yeah. And it gives you your power. Exactly. It gives you your power back. Unless you say, okay, I've scanned it. I've looked at it. I don't need that right now. Okay. The third tool, small talk. Oh, so small talks, with the power of

Starting point is 00:22:06 that is, it's not like a, sounds like an affirmation, this idea of having a small talk with yourself. The difference between a small talk and affirmation is affirmation is more like, I am enough, I am worthy, where it's kind of this intrinsic thing. A small talk is a way to or it's kind of this intrinsic thing. A small talk is a way to bring up who you want to be when you communicate. And there are lots of different ways that, excuse me, that you can have a small talk. What I found with my lessons that I teach, and I use them, I use small talks for myself. Well, first let me define it. A small talk is nothing more than a conversation that you quickly have with yourself. It can be two sentences, it can be one sentence, it can be a phrase.

Starting point is 00:22:50 And I write them down at the top of my yellow legal pad in trial. And these are things like, wait for the right pitch, let the facts speak for themselves. These things that you be Jefferson, like that is ways, these are ways that I am recalling in the moment, who do you want to be? How do I want to show up for myself? And how do I want other people to experience me? And I have done it and worked with every client that I have to work on their small talk of who do you wanna be

Starting point is 00:23:23 when you communicate? And one of my favorites is I had a client who her small talk was tell him Doris. Tell him Doris, which was a line that her grandfather would tell her grandmother when her grandmother was getting worked up about something was gonna tell them pull them up on side and down the other, tell them something. And so she wanted to have that confidence of her grandmother. And so she would say to herself in her mind, no, tell them doors. And so that gave her the confidence to say what she wanted to say.

Starting point is 00:23:55 Small talk is something that you keep intrinsic to you. You can write them down, but they're just little mementos or reminders of how you want to show up. They're not something to say out loud, put them on a billboard, they're not public. It's just what relates to you and how you want to react. Maybe it's something about not wanting to interrupt. Maybe it's something of wanting to make sure you stay in your ground the next time that somebody says that thing. It's an agreement with yourself of making sure that, like a mini huddle this is how I'm gonna show up every single time and you do it by starting with a verb so if it's stand up or speak

Starting point is 00:24:30 slowly like for mine was wait for the right pitch begin with a verb why a verb because it puts it into action because it makes it tangible verbs feel movement so whenever you can use the power of language, use a verb. A verb is what's going to give you that little bit of a power punch to say, now I'm going to put this in a motion. It's not more passive like an affirmation of I am worthy, I am enough. No, it is telondorus. It is, you know, stand your ground. These things that are going to allow you to use it. Like for example, in taking it personally, a great one is put it down.

Starting point is 00:25:07 I'd say, put it down, Jefferson. I use that all the time. I tell myself. When somebody says something, I read a text or an email and I read it negative in my head and I'm ready to respond to them. Put it down, Jefferson. And so you see how that's connected to me looking at the paper and putting it on the desk?

Starting point is 00:25:24 Yes, and putting it down on your desk? You got it. Yeah. That small talk means so much to you. Exactly. And everybody listening has their own little nugget that they keep to themselves of what's important to them, what matters to them. Is it something with your family? Is it something that's connected to your values that drives who you want to be?

Starting point is 00:25:42 How do your legacy to play out? So good, and it gives you that North Star. It really does. Right? In every moment. Just a little mini pep talk with yourself. That is so good. So everyone at home right now, think about what is your small talks, right? The ones that you want to have, that you're going to channel and tap into, like who you want to be, right?

Starting point is 00:26:01 So like redirect. Yes. Redirect your focus in those moments. What I love so much about these three tools is they also just put you back in your power, right? They give you the power now to decide how I'm gonna handle this argument or how I'm gonna handle this conversation

Starting point is 00:26:18 versus like you're in fight or flight and you don't even have control over what's about to happen. You got it. And you're about to repeat patterns in the past and all the things and these three tools give you your power. I love Jefferson that you say, you don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.

Starting point is 00:26:37 Woo! And we get invited to a lot. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to. And these three tools give you the decision, am I going to accept the invitation? Yes. Am I going to politely decline?

Starting point is 00:26:53 Right, yeah. How are you going to RSVP? Yeah. That's the power of saying it with control. Because first, with any communication, you have to learn how to control yourself. Yes. you have to learn how to control yourself. And that's where that power is going to be. And when you can have that conversational breath to inject yourself with your analytical side and continue to speak in logic and control and keep yourself calm,

Starting point is 00:27:15 you're able to quick scan your emotions. When you're able to have a kind of a midi pep talk with yourself and you know where your north star is, you can say it with control and that exudes confidence in so many ways. And more often, it even allows you, what I love about it, you just get to acknowledge it and see it in somebody else. Like when somebody yells at you, instead of concentrating on, I can't believe you would yell at me, what you hear is, now they're trying to push the

Starting point is 00:27:43 threat away. So what are they threatened by? When somebody's yelling, like you see a wild animal, you might yell to make it go. You clap, you go, hey, get scared. I mean, that is the same exact thing. We yell to make the threat go away. So when you say it with control, you turn it into curiosity.

Starting point is 00:28:02 I love it. Remember this episode is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know because it can change their life too. Make sure to pick up Jefferson's new book, The Next Conversation, argue less, talk more, and check out his brand new Jefferson Fisher School of Communication. We'll link it in the show notes. And if you love today's episode too, well, my only ask is you please click on the follow

Starting point is 00:28:31 or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening or watching it on, then give it a five-star review, and then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. Just thank you so much for joining me and before you go I wanted to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are,

Starting point is 00:29:07 are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. It's an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Curlema Show. And here, I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need,

Starting point is 00:29:26 blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you like because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love and I love you and I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self-talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing.

Starting point is 00:30:14 And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk and build self-love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief.

Starting point is 00:30:49 If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at JamieKernlema.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter

Starting point is 00:31:30 to you, delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to JamieKerlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlema.com or in the link in the show notes. This book, I'm telling you, is a book that can change anybody's life. Who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's

Starting point is 00:32:30 missing in your life. I have to tell you. It's powerful. It's happening. It's worthy. Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you? I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection to founder of It Cosmetics, a billion dollar company, by learning how to overcome self-doubt and believe I am worthy of my hopes

Starting point is 00:32:55 and dreams, and I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self doubt and know that where you come from or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then worthy is for you.

Starting point is 00:33:20 It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it. Because in life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the Worthy Movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold.

Starting point is 00:33:48 And head to worthybook.com now for free gifts, including my five-part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95-page Worthy workbook action plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo! Oh my god! Worthy! You are worthy! This book is going to change lives. This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life.

Starting point is 00:34:22 You will never be the same again after you read this book. Jamie's Book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's Book Worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you.

Starting point is 00:34:49 And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.

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