The Jamie Kern Lima Show - This is How To Believe In Yourself! Overcome Self-Doubt, and Learn to Believe You Are Worthy!

Starting point is 00:00:00 Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself, trust yourself, and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many of you are sharing these episodes with everyone else. And I'm just so grateful to be here for you. And I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you for subscribing. It means so much to me. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

Starting point is 00:00:49 And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration,

Starting point is 00:01:27 some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. Hi, I'm Jamie Kern Lima. Welcome to the very first episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. It's you and me, and I am so grateful and so excited that you are here and I'm here too for you. And it is going to be the most incredible journey together.

Starting point is 00:02:11 This show is for you if you're ready to step into all of who you are and into the person you're born to be. This show is for you if you're ready to ignite that light inside of you and let it shine so brightly that it burns self-doubt to the ground. I created this show for you and for you and me to be part of this one beautiful, wild, precious life together. And my hope and intention is that each time you listen or watch an episode of this show, it helps you feel less alone, more seen, more enough, and more unstoppable on your journey of living the highest, truest expression of yourself. My hope is that you

Starting point is 00:02:55 feel it's your show because it is. So I hope that you are ready to come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are loved. And I love you. And welcome to the first ever episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Today, I'm going to share a bit about my story with you, and perhaps you'll see your own story in mine.

Starting point is 00:03:33 And I'm not talking about the story about me that the press loves to share, which is Denny's Waitress Builds Billion Dollar Company. While that's true, and that's part of my story, my real story is a girl who dealt with so much self-doubt. A girl who doubted herself out of her own destiny many times. A girl who spent most of her life not believing in herself but was determined to learn how to and determined to make her dreams possible. And what I know for sure is that you are worthy of believing in yourself and that your hopes and dreams are possible too. So buckle up because we're going to get really real today and I'm just so glad that you are here and I'm so grateful that we are here together.

Starting point is 00:04:24 Self-doubt kills more dreams than almost anything else. You are here and I'm so grateful that we are here together. Self-doubt kills more dreams than almost anything else. And when you think about this idea, what has self-doubt already cost you in your life? Like think about that for a minute. In your career, your hopes and dreams, or your relationships, or any of that, what has self-doubt already cost you in your life? If for you the answer is way too much, this episode is for you. Most of my life, I literally was so close to doubting myself out of my own destiny or did. So we're going to go deep in the next few minutes

Starting point is 00:04:59 together. I don't know if you are like me or you've had this experience growing up, but growing up, did you know like what you wanted to do one day? For me, I would sit in my living room, often all alone as a little girl, and I would watch Oprah on TV and I would watch her share other people's stories with the world and share the stuff she's going through and it would just help me. I remember even as a little girl, I felt less alone, more enough in the stuff I thought was just me or that was wrong with me. And so it really inspired my whole career. And I'm like, one day I'm going to share other people's stories with the world. So I worked really, really, really hard. I did all the jobs like

Starting point is 00:05:41 pushing grocery carts in the parking lot, bagging groceries, selling popcorn at the swap meet, waitressing at Denny's, saved up all my money, eventually paid my way through school and ended up in my dream job. First, it started with small market television news like anchoring, reporting, running the teleprompter, one-man band, editing, writing scripts, all of it. And I eventually moved up and I was anchoring the news in Portland, Oregon. And I thought, I'm in my dream job. One day I'm going to do a talk show. This is going to happen.

Starting point is 00:06:14 And y'all, what I did not know was I was about to enter this huge season of setback in my life. Setback and self-doubt. And here's what I just want to say to you right now is if you are going through a season of setback or you've gone through one or you feel like you're encountering tough times and they are unfair and you don't know why, what I have learned to believe to be true is so often in life, our setbacks, our setbacks, our seasons of setback are actually setups for what God has called us to do in our life, for the divine path we're supposed to take.

Starting point is 00:06:54 It just doesn't make sense at the time. And they just usually really suck when we're going through them. So I'm sitting there in what I thought was my dream job. And all of a sudden, I entered this huge season of self-doubt and setback. And here's what happened. I was anchoring the news live one day. Now you're live, right? And you're in front of millions of people live. And I hear in my earpiece from the producer, there's something on your face. There's something on your face. You need to wipe it off. You need to wipe it off. And I instantly knew what it was because I have hereditary rosacea. And I had gone to all the dermatologists.

Starting point is 00:07:28 There's no cure for it. I tried all the prescriptions, everything. Nothing worked. And so for me, my rosacea, it's all across my cheeks. When it gets really bad, it's on my forehead. And it gets really red and bumpy. And sometimes it feels like sandpaper. So I was anchoring the news live.

Starting point is 00:07:44 And what had started to happen was the hot HD lights from the camera was breaking up the makeup. So if you imagine like desert clay cracking and it was like all the red was coming through the cracks. So I hear this in my earpiece and I'm alive. I can't talk back. And I hear, there's something on your face. There's something on your face.

Starting point is 00:08:03 You need to wipe it off. You need to wipe. And so at the commercial break, I glanced down in my compact mirror and I hear, there's something on your face. There's something on your face. You need to wipe it off. You need to wipe. And so at the commercial break, I glanced down in my compact mirror and I go to cover it and it will not cover. It will not cover. And so I'm back to anchoring the show and I hear it again in my earpiece. While I'm talking to viewers, it's still there. It's still there. It's still there. From that moment, I started doubting everything. First of all, I went out and tried to find any other product that could possibly work. So I spent, you know, my whole paycheck on makeup, trying to, like, from the drugstore stuff to the department store,

Starting point is 00:08:36 the pro makeup artist lines. Nothing would work. Nothing would work. And every time I'd be back, you know, and when I was like, this is my dream job. I can't mess it up. And I'd be live on the air and I would hear, it's still there. It's still, oh, you're having that problem again. You're having it. There's something on your face. Can you wipe it off? Can you wipe it off? So after spending my whole paycheck on makeup, I'd be back on the air, like hoping it would

Starting point is 00:08:57 work that time and it wouldn't work. And every time I'd be on air, it was just time after time. And I entered this big season of self-doubt and I'd be live on the air thinking like, are viewers changing the channel right now? Like, am I going to get fired? Am I costing the station ratings? And it was just like the worst season, right? Because I thought I'm losing my dream job. And then y'all, one day I got this feeling like this knowing in my gut, maybe you've had this happen to you in

Starting point is 00:09:26 your life where you just got this feeling like, oh my gosh, am I supposed to be more than just friends with this person? Or, oh my gosh, am I supposed to launch the business? Or, oh my gosh, am I supposed to change careers? Or am I supposed to create this or do this thing, right? I got this feeling all of a sudden where I was like, wait a minute. If you have tried all these makeup brands out there and nothing works for you, there's probably a whole lot of other people who have given up on makeup as well. Maybe nothing works for them. If you could create something that works for them and for yourself, it'd probably

Starting point is 00:10:00 help a whole lot of people. So I got that little idea, you know, that little knowing, and that's in my gut. But you know what happens? Instantly, my head, my self-doubt, my thoughts talk me out of it really fast, right? So I had that feeling like, what if you could do this? And then instantly I thought, oh, but you're unqualified. You've got no money. You don't know anyone in the beauty industry. Like you don't have what it takes. And so I sat in that spot between my gut telling me something and my head talking me out of it really fast. And so I was like, okay. And then all of a sudden out of pure grace, right?

Starting point is 00:10:35 The weeks and the months went by where I literally thought I was going to get fired and nothing was working for my skin. And this moment of grace happened where I realized the deep why for why I needed to do this. And you hear about thought leaders all the time talking about, know your why, identify your why. If you have a big goal, identify a why to it. Well, I thought my why was I just want to solve my problems and help other people.

Starting point is 00:11:01 But a lot of times we have a why that sounds really, really good, but it's actually not deep enough to make us go for it or it's not deep enough for us to keep going when times get tough. And out of pure grace, I had this deep why hit me. So I'm sitting there living in this space between my thoughts and self-doubt talking me out of this knowing that I have to like launch a makeup company. I'd never thought of doing that. I don't know how to do that. And this moment of grace where I just realized like, wait a minute, this makes no sense to me. There are thousands of makeup companies out there that are, you know, have amazing products, thousands of them. And I've never seen, like, like why does nothing work for me? Right? If there's thousands of them and I've never seen, like why does nothing work for me, right?

Starting point is 00:11:45 If there's thousands of them, why does nothing work for me? Then I realized, wait a minute, I've never seen a woman who looks like me with bright red bumpy rosacea selling a product saying, this product's amazing, look at this. And then it hit me my entire life. Maybe you can relate to this. My entire life, even as a little girl, I would see the makeup commercials on TV and see them in the magazines and I loved them. Like I always aspired to look like them, but deep down inside they always made me feel

Starting point is 00:12:16 like I wasn't enough. And I had this moment where I was like, wait a minute, maybe creating a makeup product isn't just about finding a product that works for me or works for other people. What if, what if I could actually launch the product but put real people as models, every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge, right? Like I have. Call them beautiful and mean it.

Starting point is 00:12:43 What if I could try to shift the definition of beauty in the entire beauty industry for every little girl out there who is about to see these ads and start doubting herself and every grown woman who still does? And that why was so deep, y'all. That why was so deep and so meaningful and so much bigger than myself that that is what did it for me when I decided, okay, I've got to do this. I've got to do it. And so the first thing I'll say is whatever space you're in right now in your life with a goal, with a hope, with a dream, with ending a relationship, with starting one, with building new friendships, whatever it might be, just taking that moment to go, what is my deep why for this?

Starting point is 00:13:30 And then once you arrive at that, peel back the layers and go deeper. What is my why beneath the why? Because it's got to be so powerful and so meaningful to you and so much greater than yourself that you actually go for it or you actually stick with it. So that happened out of sheer grace, right? That I was like, I've got to do this. I've got to do this.

Starting point is 00:13:53 But then I thought, wait a minute, I'm in my dream job. But here's what I know to be true. Sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream matters as much as knowing when to go after one. And I just knew what I knew, what I knew in my knowing that I needed to do this, even though my head told me all the reasons I was not qualified and did not have what it takes. And so I made the decision to go for it. And on my honeymoon flight to South Africa in 2007, I wrote the business plan for It Cosmetics. Wrote the business plan on my honeymoon.

Starting point is 00:14:30 First of all, I do not recommend doing this. It is the least romantic way to start off a marriage. But it is what happened. Wrote the business plan for It Cosmetics on my honeymoon flight. Got back. Quit my job. My husband quit his job. We went all in, y'all.

Starting point is 00:14:47 Like we went all in. We took every penny of savings that we had, which was not a lot. We got a little bit of money from two friends and a family member. I'm talking about not much. And then we just went all in and we poured everything into the product, right? I was like, if we can just figure out a product that works, it's going to be huge. It's going to be huge. So we did all of our research, figured out third party manufacturers and the best chemists

Starting point is 00:15:14 and just dove all in, poured every penny we had. And we eventually, after hundreds of iterations, we got to a product that worked for me. And I'm like, this is going to be huge. This is going to be huge. And I thought, if you have a great product, it's just going to sell. It's just going to sell. Okay. If any of y'all have put your product out there in the world or your thoughts or your ideas or your business, and you're like, why is nobody believing in this? Why is it not getting traction? That is what happened to me for years. So from the moment I launched at Cosmetics, it was more than three years before I could pay

Starting point is 00:15:56 myself a penny, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of no's. Literally, it was a journey of figuring out how to not let everyone else's no or doubt about me turn into doubt in my own head. And here's what I know to be true, and I don't know if you need to hear this today, but someone else's doubt about you or your dream or your art or your talent or your ideas is no indication of its potential to succeed. No indication. And the worst thing we can do is believe that it is. But when we're going through it, it's really hard, right? It's really hard when we think we have something special, but no one else is seeing it and it's not getting traction.

Starting point is 00:16:48 And that was my journey for three years and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of no's. So after like launching this and sending out product samples to all these retailers, I just love and covet and retailers that like, I saved my Denny's tip money to buy a lipstick in their store. And I was like, they're going to love this. The product's so good. And I'd send it out to Sephora and Ulta and QVC and all the department stores, all of them. And it was no after no after no after no.

Starting point is 00:17:18 So finally I was like, okay, we are almost out of money completely. We've just got to go direct to consumer. Like this product's so good.'ve just got to go direct to consumer. Like this product's so good, we just got to go direct to consumer. So my husband, but we couldn't afford to hire anybody to build a beautiful website. We had poured all of our money into the product. And so my husband goes out and he buys that big yellow book called HTML for Dummies. And if you've ever seen that, those books. And he comes home and he builds our entire first website, our entire first website. And y'all, the day, okay, the day that it went live, I was like a little kid on Christmas morning. I was freaking out. I was like, this is going to be huge.

Starting point is 00:18:06 I was like running around our office, which was our living room, like freaking out. And I was so excited. And then the moment our website went live, I was like waiting. I was like sitting there waiting. No orders. The hours went by that day. No orders. The next day rolls around.

Starting point is 00:18:24 No orders. Day after day after day, no orders. The next day rolls around, no orders. Day after day after day, no orders. And then I finally did to him what is so easy to do if you have ever worked with a loved one or a family member or a friend. I said to him, it's broken. You did it wrong. You built the website wrong. There's no way our product is this good and we're just getting no orders like you did it wrong. You built the website wrong. There's no way our product is this good and we're just getting no orders. Like you did it wrong. And then more days go by, no orders. The weeks go by, no orders. I will never forget the moment our very first order came in. I was like, I knew it. This is going to be huge. And I was like screaming, running around our living room. Our dogs were like freaking out. And I was just so excited. And my husband comes

Starting point is 00:19:10 up to me and he goes, that was me. I placed that order to prove to you I didn't do a wrong. Our website's not broken. Like I built it right. And I was just like, oh, I was like devastated. I was like, okay. So we just kept going, kept going, kept sending out sample after sample after sample. I remember getting a phone call from Sephora and I was so excited because I just had always dreamed of being in that store. And I flew out to San Francisco, could barely afford the plane ticket and walked into the boardroom there. And the whole team was amazing. By the way, walking into the Sephora headquarters, I remember, I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Devil Wears Prada where Anne Hathaway, like the elevator doors open and she's like in that huge,

Starting point is 00:19:56 just gorgeous space and kind of feels like she doesn't belong. I remember the first time I was in the Sephora headquarters and the elevator doors opened in this high rise on Market Street. And I was like, where the heck am I? How am I here? How am I worthy of being here, right? All the self-doubt started entering my mind. And it was this battle of trying to believe I was worthy of being in a place so fancy,

Starting point is 00:20:20 right, where everyone knew what was cool and looked the part and all that. And I'm like just trying to hold it together and trying to figure out how are we paying rent on our apartment this month. And I remember going into the room, this boardroom and all of the women in that room, first of all, the way they were dressed was so inspiring. I was just like in awe of it, but they were so kind. They were all excited about the product, but there was one person in that room, the head person who was not. And I don't know if you've ever had this experience where you just feel like someone's not for you or doesn't get you or doesn't believe in you and you try so hard to convince

Starting point is 00:20:57 them that you have what it takes or that your product's good or that you'd be a great friend or whatever it is. And they are just not for you. And I just remember that feeling. And no matter what I did in that meeting, it just didn't seem to turn it around. And at the very end of the meeting, I was saying, you know, customers are starting to spread the word. And because at that point, people were spreading the word in the like one or so order a day

Starting point is 00:21:24 that we were getting on our website that did work, that was built correctly. And so I was saying, you know, women are spreading the word. And I remember she just stopped me cold in my tracks and she said, if people were talking about your product, I'd be hearing about it and I'm not. And it was a no. And I remember walking out of that meeting just like in the elevator ride. And I remember the elevator was packed and I was just like, okay, these are all Sephora people. I need to hold it together. I want to make a good impression. And I was like, literally, if you've ever been in that spot where you're holding back tears, because I didn't know how

Starting point is 00:21:58 the business was going to make it. So I'm in that elevator and I'm just holding back tears. By the way, y'all, a lot of people know IT Cosmetics today is in Sephora and Ulta and one of the biggest beauty brands in the country. But what people don't know is the journey of getting there. And that's why I want to share this with you today because so many times we see the outcome and we think, oh, someone else has what I don't have. Or, oh, people must just believe in them. And those are lies we tell ourselves. And I want you to, I want to share this and just pour my soul out to you today because I think that so often we doubt ourselves out of our own destiny because we think the setbacks

Starting point is 00:22:39 or the failures or the naysayers or the critics or the people who aren't believing in us must just be us. It's like, oh, uh-uh. Because we don't see this stuff shared on social media. We just see everyone's highlight reel. This is the real stuff. So, okay, I'm in this elevator, right? Riding down the elevator, packed elevator, just trying to hold back tears because I'm

Starting point is 00:23:00 like, I am a CEO. I cannot cry. I cannot cry. I've got to hold it together. I've got to look the part in front of everyone in Sephora. And I remember just tears cresting right at the edge of my lashes. And I get to the ground level lobby on the building in Market Street. And I just ran, walked outside of the building as quick as I could around the corner and just started sobbing up against the brick wall. Because I did not know how I was going to make it.

Starting point is 00:23:26 And I remember having to call Paolo, my husband, and just be like, it's a no. It's a no. And I don't know what we're going to do. And I remember flying home and just being like so devastated, but just having that knowing, that gut feeling, that intuition. And that is what I leaned on. Every time I prayed, every time I got still, every time I meditated, I still had that knowing I was supposed to be doing this. So even though we weren't getting traction, even though I didn't know how we were going to make it,

Starting point is 00:23:53 even though I didn't know why everyone kept saying no, I had that knowing. I had that knowing. So we kept going. We kept going and sending product out and sending product out. I finally got a call from QVC and y'all, I had sent so many samples to QVC for years and it was always a no or no reply. And QVC is a live television shopping channel and they are broadcast over a hundred million homes. And here's what was happening to me. All these department stores kept saying no. And remember, I'm using images of real women, right? And at the time it was not being done. And I'm using images of real women as my models and every age and shape and size and skin tone and skin challenge. And I had photos of myself with no makeup, with my bright red rosacea.

Starting point is 00:24:42 And these department store buyers and everyone would always say this to me. They would say, women will not buy makeup from images like this. You have to use, and they'd always say these words, you'd have to use unattainable aspiration. That means you can't ever even look like that because it's not real. And I would say to them, well, I get that that's what's always been done, but maybe women are sick and tired of buying from images of people who don't look like them, who are not real, like because they're so photoshopped, right? And, uh, and it didn't matter. They'd always say it's a no because, and listen, these no's weren't

Starting point is 00:25:22 personal. They just literally thought I couldn't make the money is what they thought, right? That my idea wouldn't work because I was trying to do it in a new authentic way to who I was. What I know, don't even let me get sidetracked right now, but what I know, and I don't know if you need to hear this today, but if you are willing to be one of the brave ones in this world showing up as who you authentically are. Putting your ideas out there as who you authentically are. Your work, your art, your talent, your creativity is who you are.

Starting point is 00:25:55 Do not be surprised if not everyone gets it. Do not be surprised if people don't think it's going to work or they can't make money off you or they don't believe in you. Because guess what? It's never been done before. There's never been another you. So if you're showing up as who you authentically are, there's never been proof what you're doing is going to work in the past because it's never been done before because there's never been another you. So do not let their doubt about you indicate that it's some kind of prediction of your potential for success.

Starting point is 00:26:26 It is not. It is not. Because you have never been done before. And here's the deal, y'all. I did not realize that at the time. I did not know this lesson at the time. What I knew was that it really sucked to get all these no's. So I kept going, kept going, kept sending samples to QVC because I had this

Starting point is 00:26:45 idea, well, oh my gosh, okay, I get all these department stores want me to Photoshop everything, which I'm not going to do. Like this is not why I'm doing this. But you cannot Photoshop live TV. QVC is real. So I had this vision that I would go on air, on television and show my bright red rosacea and show all these women with all different skin tones and skin challenges and ages and shapes and sizes and called them beautiful and mean. I had this vision. So I had obsessively sent samples to QVC. I mean, we're talking about a lot of samples, y'all.

Starting point is 00:27:19 I would stalk everyone on LinkedIn. It didn't matter what department they worked in there at QVC. I'd send them samples and it was always a no or a no reply. And then I eventually got word that the head of QVC Beauty, a guy named Alan Burke, wanted to have a call with me. And I'm like, okay, Alan Burke is a legend, right? You think of Anna Wintour in fashion. Alan Burke is a legend in the beauty industry. And he's known for taking QVC in the early years when a lot of brands maybe wouldn't necessarily want to sell on TV because they were like luxury department store brands. He's responsible for getting all of them, all the highest end, most beautiful, amazing

Starting point is 00:28:01 brands to want to sell their beauty products on QVC. He's responsible for building multi-million, if not billion-dollar beauty division on QVC. And he's a legend. And I'm like, oh my gosh, if he wants to talk to me, there's no way it's going to be a no. So I was all excited for the phone call with him. I was like pacing around our office, which is our living room. I was like power posing. I was doing all the stuff I'd read about, like trying to get into a peak state. And I was like telling myself they'll be lucky to have us, like trying to pump myself up. And I remember getting on the call and he's like, hello, Jamie, this is Alan Burke with QVC. And I'm like, Alan, it's so great to meet you. And he says to me, we've received your samples, all of them.

Starting point is 00:28:50 And because I had so many. And he says, I wanted to call you directly myself. I wanted to let you know that I have met with our buyers, all of our buyers. I've met with all of them. And it is unanimous that you are not the right fit for QVC or for our customers. And immediately tears just start streaming down my face, right? And I'm hoping he can't tell I'm sobbing. And I'm like, oh, but I went back into just pitching myself, right? I'm like, oh, but Alan, I am the right fit. I am the right fit for you and QVC.

Starting point is 00:29:29 And I just told him all the reasons why. And he thanked me. He was really kind, honestly. And he thanked me for loving QVC and said, it's a no, it's a no. And I remember hanging up the phone and literally crawling under my covers and just sobbing because it was so many no's. And my gut was telling me I'm supposed to do this. But I was just like, why is everyone saying no?

Starting point is 00:29:57 And I was just like, I didn't know. I started to question, is my gut wrong, right? So many of us, we get one no or five no's or 20 no's and we think, okay, my gut, my intuition must be wrong. And I remember just crying myself to sleep, not knowing how we were going to make it. And every time I got still and I prayed and I would ask God, why do I have this feeling like I'm supposed to be doing this? But everyone's telling me no.

Starting point is 00:30:24 I would always get this feeling, like this impression, this knowing I'm supposed to be doing this. And I just remember crying myself to sleep that day. I remember waking up the next morning. I don't know if this has ever happened to you where you get really bad news and then you wake up the next day and you hoped it was a dream. You like hoped and then you realize it wasn't and you relive it. So I went through that three days in a row. And I remember this moment where I wrote in my journal, I wrote these words in my journal, literally under the covers on my bed. I wrote, know your why, then fly girl, fly. And I read those words every single day until I did not need the reminder anymore. And I got back up and with God and grace and grit,

Starting point is 00:31:14 kept going, kept sending samples out, kept sending samples out. And then I got a call that would change my life forever. There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth.

Starting point is 00:31:38 When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love,

Starting point is 00:32:11 unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Starting point is 00:32:41 Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com

Starting point is 00:33:33 to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. And now more of this conversation together. So I'd heard word of this potential investor who had gotten a hold of our product and loved it and thought it was so good. And I was like, oh my gosh. And this is a really well-known investor, private equity investor, who is known

Starting point is 00:34:17 for taking small, unknown brands, sometimes pre-revenue brands, and turning them into these hugely successful brands that we all buy in grocery stores and in big box retailers. And I'm like, oh my gosh, if they invest in us, A, I'm not going to go bankrupt. And B, what if they use their leverage to get me into all these stores that keep telling me no? So I was like freaking out. I'm like, this is going to be huge. This is my knight in shining armor, my saving grace. Like I was so excited. And we started doing all the meetings and everything was looking so great. And I was like, okay, okay, okay. And then I remember we got to the diligence phase, which is where you even hire lawyers and you start the process of someone investing in your company. And we were down to no money, right?

Starting point is 00:35:06 And I was like, it felt like everything was on the line. And my husband and I flew up for the final meeting where I presented the whole future product pipeline. I got down to the very end and the head guy, the head investor was there. His whole team was behind him. They were awesome and amazing. And at the very end of the meeting, we're all standing there. His whole team was behind him. They were awesome and amazing. And at the very end of the meeting, we're all standing there. The head guy is about three feet from me, right there in

Starting point is 00:35:30 person. My husband's on the other side of me. And the guy says to me, you know, congratulations. You should be so proud. Like this is a really great product. You have created a really great product. Congratulations. But it's a no. We're going to pass on investing in IT Cosmetics. And I remember just being like, okay, can you tell me why? Because look, at this point I had heard no so many times. And feedback is usually a gift. So I say, can you tell me why? And he just got really quiet and really still. And I was just like looking at, he's three feet from me, right? So imagine this guy's three feet from me.

Starting point is 00:36:14 My husband's on the other side. This guy's to my left, about three feet from me. His whole team's behind him. And I see him just get really quiet. And I'm like, and then I remember being so nervous as to what he was going to say, I started feeling my heartbeat in my ears. And I was just like intently watching. And I remember the moment his mouth started moving.

Starting point is 00:36:35 And he says to me, do you want me to be really honest with you? And I said, yes, please. And he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And I remember, first of all, I remember this feeling deep down inside. And I remember like my whole body fled. I didn't even get angry. I felt no anger toward him at all. But I just remember like literally a lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt, like flooding

Starting point is 00:37:15 my body all at once. And when I was looking at him, I felt like I was almost staring my own fear straight in the eyes. But I remember like the whole, like my whole body flooding with that. And then I remember the one thing, and this is why I'm sharing this story with you. The one moment he said those words to me, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel it like it was yesterday. So strong. I feel it right now telling you this, that got this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel it like it was yesterday. So strong. I feel

Starting point is 00:37:46 it right now telling you this, that said this feeling that said he's wrong. He's wrong. Now, I didn't know how I was going to prove that. Nothing around me looked like he was wrong, but that feeling, you guys, was so strong. That knowing, that feeling, that intuition, that gut feeling that said he's wrong. And I want to share this with you because when I look back at this story, here is what I know happened in that moment. This guy gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing, right? He said, no, this guy gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing. And every single one of us has a knowing and intuition. And I believe your gut is more powerful than anyone else's advice, than anyone else's advice.

Starting point is 00:38:39 And so often, maybe right now in your life, in a relationship, in your hopes, in your dreams, in your career, in your talent, in your ambition, in your calling, maybe you're getting no's all around you. Maybe you're the one telling yourself no, right? Self-doubt lives in our head. That is not who we are. But so often we are the ones telling ourselves the most painful no's. But if you get still and you listen and

Starting point is 00:39:07 you pray and you meditate, right? However, whatever works for you to tune in to and hear your own knowing, you will get a knowing. You will get a knowing and your knowing is more powerful than anyone else's advice. It is more powerful and more true than anyone's nose or than the nose you are telling yourself in your own head. And I believe your hopes and dreams, your goals and ambitions, your relationships, your career, your friendships, and the calling you have on your life will come down to which one you listen to. Do you listen to the nose or do you listen to your knowing? Listen right now. Do you listen to the nose or do you listen to your knowing? Y'all, this is the thing. This is the thing. If you get one thing out of today's episode with me, make the decision to turn down the volume on all the no's, all the no's around you, all the no's you're

Starting point is 00:40:06 telling yourself in your own head, and turn up the volume on the knowing that you have inside of you, your intuition, the knowing that knows, the knowing that knows the truth, right? We all have it. We all have it. And these moments someone else is telling you, no, like this one that was so painful for me. And listen, I went out in my car and I cried. I went out in my car and I cried. But here's what I know. Those are not the moments you quit.

Starting point is 00:40:35 Those are not the moments you give up. Those are the moments with God and grace and grit you get back up and you keep going and you trust that knowing that is telling you you're supposed to be doing what you're doing even if no one else gets it at the time. So that is what I did. I kept going and going and going and I had entered us in this huge beauty expo. Imagine this giant expo center in New York City where there's over 6,000 women walking the floor of this kind of convention and you get a three-foot table.

Starting point is 00:41:11 So there's hundreds and hundreds of three-foot tables where every beauty brand in the world is there at a three-foot table demonstrating their best product launch of the year. And then you have 6,000 women walking the floor. I had entered us like a year in advance because by this point I couldn't have afforded the entry. But I had already entered us, so I was there demonstrating, you know, I was there at Cosmetics, which no one had heard of, and I'm surrounded by like all of the biggest brands in the world, all in the department stores, the most famous brands, all demonstrating their product.

Starting point is 00:41:43 And why you do this is you enter and you hope that of the 6,000 women walking the floor that they all fall in love with your product and that maybe they vote on it and you win an award or that there's maybe a retailer there that sees your product and wants to carry it in their stores. So I'm sitting there demonstrating my concealer and women are walking by And I see that QVC has a giant booth in the background. And I'm like, oh. Like at this point, of course, I had been sending them product forever. Of course, Alan Burke gave me the most painful no ever. But I had never met anyone in person. And so I'm sitting there at my three-foot booth and I see this giant booth that QVC

Starting point is 00:42:25 has really far away in the convention center. And I was like, I've got to do it. I've got to take this chance. And I was literally like so nervous, right? I was like, I've got to go up to somebody there, right? But here's the thing, y'all. You're not allowed to leave your three-foot booth. And I was like, I cannot afford to get kicked out.

Starting point is 00:42:42 And I was just like, oh, but I've got to do it. I've got to do it. I've got to do it. I remember just praying, just praying. If you read my first book, Believe It, I talk about the story and about channeling the squirrel, which if you know, you know, really, really funny story. And I won't go into it right now, but I want you to, if you haven't read that, definitely check it out because it's one of the tools on how to just get instant courage and go for things, almost like an alter ego kind of a thing. But between the squirrel I channeled and also just praying for just like the courage to

Starting point is 00:43:16 like, and imagining myself turning down the volume of my self-doubt, like I've got to go for this. So I beelined, I left my booth, even though you're not allowed to. Went straight up to the buyer at QVC. Actually, I went over there a couple of times and she was mobbed, like packed with people around her. And I kept sneaking back to my booth. I eventually got over there and got to this buyer in the QVC booth. And I introduced myself to her and I'm like, hi, I'm Jamie Krenlima. I founded a company called It Cosmetics. And she's like, oh yes, I've got your samples. And I was like, oh, yes, I've got your samples. And I was like, oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:43:47 And then, you know, now keep in mind, the head of all of QVC Beauty, right? The legendary Alan Burke had recently just told me, you are not the right fit for QVC or for our customers. Which, by the way, I don't know if you need to hear this in your life today. No one can tell you you are not the right fit. No one, especially don't let yourself tell yourself that. Anyhow, I go up to her, this buyer, and I'm just like pouring my heart out telling her why our product's amazing, how it's going to change lives, how, you know, all the things. And she gave me her card and said, let's do a meeting at QVC. And I walked away and I didn't know if she meant it, right? Have you ever had

Starting point is 00:44:32 somebody say to you like, oh, DM me on Instagram, you know, let's keep in touch. And then you are checking your direct messages on Instagram every day and they did not mean it, right? And I'm on it. By the way, I'm on Instagram. I hope you DM me because I will DM you back at Jamie Kern Lima. Let's do it. But I was sitting there on my DMs, you know, all the time and a lot of people don't mean it. Or they're just so busy that they don't see your DM or they have too many DMs, right? There could be a lot of reasons, but I didn't know if she really meant it and she did. And we got a meeting set up at QVC in Westchester, Pennsylvania. And y'all, this was after years of so many no's. And I flew out there and I remember walking through the QVC building, which is massive,

Starting point is 00:45:18 and passing this long hallway filled with all these big fancy conference rooms. And the woman walking us back was not stopping in any of those rooms. She took us to the very end of the hall into this tiny room. I'm like, oh no. I was like, not again. Like not again. Does this small conference room mean it's another no? And I was just like praying the whole time. And I remember walking in the small conference room and then the buyer came in, the head buyer. And I poured my heart and soul out. Paulo, my husband was there, just like poured everything out. I'm like, I promise you this is going to change people's lives and all of that. And we got our very first yes. We got our very first yes.

Starting point is 00:46:01 I left the meeting with a yes. The small conference room did not mean it was not going to be a yes. We got a yes. And then I learned what that yes meant. I learned what the yes meant, and it was not what I thought it meant. The yes meant I got one shot, one shot in a 10-minute window to go live on TV, live on QVC, live to 100 million homes, one shot and a 10 minute window to sell our products and hit their sales goal or not come back. And then I learned we had to sell over 6,000 units of our product to hit their sales goal in that 10 minute window or not come back. Y'all, I was doing one to two orders a day on our website that did work. I'm like,

Starting point is 00:46:53 oh my gosh, I have to sell over 6,000 units in 10 minutes. Okay. Then I learned it's a consignment offer. What that means is I have to somehow figure out how to pay for, manufacture, ship in, pass through QC, regulatory compliance, legal compliance, pack out, warehouse pack, all of it. I have to pay for all of that and get over 6,000 units paid for and shipped in. And then I get the chance to go on air in the 10 minutes. But if they don't sell, I have to take them all back and I'm not paid for any of them. So you should never say yes to this, right? There is a famous saying in business, you should never accept a purchase order. You cannot afford to lose. And we could not afford to lose this one. But we were down to, like, we were so desperate. Like I, everyone was saying no,

Starting point is 00:47:52 I didn't know how we were going to make it. And so the other problem with this is we had no money. We had no money. So we went to 22 banks trying to get an SBA loan. They all said no. And the 23rd bank, California Bank and Trust said yes. They gave us a loan to cover just enough for this, to cover the cost of making those 6,000 units, plus a little bit more. And we decided to go all in and to do it. And that is so scary. And we use that little bit of extra money, that little bit of extra money to hire third party consultants, these outside third party consultants that are amazing and so talented and they help a lot of people sell their products in stores and sell and position their products on television and, you know, in all the different retail stores and online.

Starting point is 00:48:41 And they are smart and they help so many people be successful. But here's the problem. They all told me the same thing. They said, if you want a shot at actually succeeding on QVC, of your product actually selling, here's what you need to do. You need to use this type of model to demonstrate your product. And they were all telling me to use models with flawless skin in their early 20s that look like they're 12 with the same skin tone, no skin challenges. I'm like, okay, listen, I get that that's what works for most people, but that is not authentic to why I'm doing this brand. So what if I put models in their 80s and 70s? And what if I put real women, every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge? What if I put, you know, someone dealing with acne

Starting point is 00:49:34 and a new mom dealing with hyperpigmentation? What if I take my own makeup off a national TV, show my bright red rosacea, and I can prove the product works. And they were mortified, like literally mortified, like mortified. And here's the thing, y'all. They wanted me to win, right? They wanted me to win. They weren't trying to give me bad advice. They really were giving me the best advice they knew how.

Starting point is 00:50:02 They wanted me to win. And they were giving me the best advice through the lens of their own experience. But remember what you and I were talking about earlier where I said, like, if you're ever going to do something authentic to you, it's never been done before. Don't be surprised if even the most touted experts or visionaries don't get it, right? And so I found myself in this spot again where my gut, my knowing was telling me one thing and all the advice around me was telling me another. And I remember everything was on the line and I flew out to QVC in Westchester, Pennsylvania one week before this

Starting point is 00:50:41 one big shot I was about to get. One week before. And I sat in a rental car every single day out front of the QVC headquarters, which I don't even know why I was doing this. Somehow it made sense at the time. I couldn't handle the pressure of all of it, right? I sat there all alone in this rental car, staring at the front door of the building, watching people walk in and out all day, knowing the next time I walk through those doors, either I'm going bankrupt or my entire life is changing. And I sat in that car every day and I was like so stressed out. I was not worried about television.

Starting point is 00:51:24 Like I had done television my whole career. That part, I was like, let's do it. It was the weight of the business and the weight of like, am I going to lose everything? Am I going to lose everything? And I remember just like self-doubt getting so loud. I remember, and honestly y'all, I had thoughts in that car where I was tempted to be like, okay, well, my way, my authentic way has not worked. What if I try it their way that's inauthentic to me and maybe it's going to do well and make money and then I won't go bankrupt and then I'll make money and then I'll try it my way. But I remember this moment in that rental car where these words hit me so powerfully. These words that maybe are for you today, right now. These words hit me so powerfully that while authenticity, because you cannot fake authenticity,

Starting point is 00:52:17 right? I know you cannot fake authenticity and customers are smart and it is impossible to have a connection with any other human being, whether it is someone on the other end of the camera while you're on social media, whether it is a customer, whether it is your whole customer group, whether it is a friendship or a relationship or your life partner or your colleague, it is impossible to have a true, deep, authentic connection with another human being unless you are showing up as the full authentic you.

Starting point is 00:52:49 I know that. I know you cannot fake authenticity. All the studies prove it. I know this. Yet I'm sitting there in that rental car going, it has not worked so far, tempted to go, maybe I'll show up as who they're saying to be because maybe then I won't go bankrupt. But these words came to me and hit me so powerfully, and maybe these words are for you today, that while authenticity alone does not automatically guarantee success, inauthenticity

Starting point is 00:53:20 guarantees failure. Every time, over time. Every time. I knew it. I knew it. And I knew what I needed to do. And I sat there in the car and I just imagined who is that one woman, that one person turning on the camera at the other end. Yeah, I'm about to go live in front of a hundred million homes, but who is that one person that I'm imagining on the other end, right? And I don't know why, but I imagine for some reason, a single mom in Nebraska folding laundry who was way too busy to remember that she is beautiful and that she matters and that she is important. And I remember having this moment in the rental car where I was like, you know what? If she is going to turn her television on and bless me with even a few seconds of her

Starting point is 00:54:08 precious time, I would rather have her look up on that screen and see me showing women who look like her and calling them beautiful and meaning it. Even if she buys nothing, I would rather stand for something than sell a whole lot of crap load of product and stand for nothing. I knew what I had to do, but sometimes we know what we have to do and it is not the easy thing to do. It is not the easy thing to do, or it's the thing to do that has not worked so far and we still know we've got to do it. So I remember praying, crying. I was so stressed out in that rental car.

Starting point is 00:54:53 I remember one time I had watched an Oprah episode as a little girl where she wanted the movie The Color Purple so bad and they were telling her, no, we have real actresses auditioning for this part. And she wanted it so bad. She was obsessed with it. And she told the story about how she went to a health retreat that at the time they called Fat Farms, but it's a health retreat. And she remembers running around the track praying and crying. And she was singing the song, I Surrender All.

Starting point is 00:55:22 And she asked God to take it from her because it felt too heavy, this obsession she had with the color purple. So I was like, okay, if that worked for Oprah, I got to try that. So I was sitting in that rental car in the parking lot of QVC, literally praying, crying. I started singing, I Surrender All, and I cannot hold a tune, y'all, but I fully committed. I fully committed in that rental car. Anybody walking by probably thought I was nuts. I sang I Surrender All at full blast. And I asked God to take this pressure from me because it felt too heavy. And I knew I needed, I knew what I needed to do.

Starting point is 00:55:57 So I remember the moment came. I walked into the QVC studios. And I was about to literally walk out onto set, go live in front of a hundred million homes. I was wearing this navy blue dress with long sleeves and I was so stressed out and nervous that I was sweating profusely. So I, and remember, I'm not nervous for TV. I'm nervous that like, am I going to lose everything?

Starting point is 00:56:26 I put on two pairs of Spanx, double Spanx under my dress. Not because I cared what I looked like. I was trying to absorb all the sweat and not sweat through my dress on live TV. I was so nervous. And then literally right before I go out on set, right before I get my one big shot, you want to know what I learned? I learned you're not even guaranteed the 10 minutes. You're not even guaranteed your 10 minutes. I was like, what? What do you mean? I learned you can be, they know, okay, so they know by the second if you're hitting your sales numbers or not.

Starting point is 00:57:01 And here's the thing. When you walk into a Target or a Walmart or a Costco, there are thousands of beautiful products that can all have space right in front of you. But when you're on television, one minute of airtime is one minute of airtime. You get one product on the air. And so you have to hit the same sales volumes as any other company that could take that airtime or you don't get that airtime, right? So you're not just, you're not sharing it with thousands of other products. So I have to hit these sales targets the same as Apple iPhone or Dell computer or Vitamix blender, whatever, right?

Starting point is 00:57:40 So I learn, oh my gosh, if I'm a minute or two in and I'm not hitting those sales numbers, they will cut your time, right? So imagine you start with 10 minutes, your whole entire, what feels like your whole, like everything's on the line. And if I'm a minute or two in and not hitting sales numbers, I might think I got eight minutes left on that clock, but boom, that countdown clock jumps to one minute left and you know you're done. It's almost like in theater where they bring the hook out and like put it around your neck and pull you off the stage slowly.

Starting point is 00:58:15 It's like that. I'm like, okay. So I learned that. Then I remember walking out to the set. I remember seeing the cameras. I looked at the host. It was a host by the way, you guys that had, I had met at that live event in New York city, a host that had come up to me and, and tried the product. Uh, her name was Lisa Mason. She had been there, I think 17 years at the time. They paired me with her. Thank God, because it was divinely orchestrated. Because the second the cameras went live,

Starting point is 00:58:52 and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm live to 100 million homes. I remember the giant countdown clock started going, and it was at 10 minutes. And I remember it was like 9.59, 9, 957. And I literally remember I was trying to do this demonstration on my wrist. I had practiced it in the bathroom at home a million times where I show, I put our concealer on my wrist and two other concealers. And then I bend my hand back and forth and my wrist starts to crease. And I show that these other concealers that are real popular start creasing, but ours doesn't. So I had practiced this a million times. The cameras are live.

Starting point is 00:59:31 I'm live on air in front of 100 million homes. I start doing this demonstration on my wrist, except guess what? I am so nervous from the weight of the business and everything on the line that my hand and arm are shaking so much. And the host grabs my hand and she's like, thank you, sugar. And she kind of took over. I remember the moment my bright red bare face before shot came up on national television. I remember walking over to the models, all real women, every age, every size, every skin tone, every skin challenge, like me calling them beautiful, meaning it.

Starting point is 01:00:10 I remember we were several minutes in and I did not know how it was going, but I knew I wasn't cut yet. I was like, okay, this is good. And then I remember, I remember getting down to the, it was like the one minute mark and the host says, uh, the deep shade is almost gone. The tan shade is almost sold out. And she started counting down the number of units left in each shade. And I remember like at the literally the exact final second, the 10 minute mark, this giant sold out sign came up across the screen. I start crying on national television.

Starting point is 01:00:48 They cut from me and went to like Dyson vacuum or something. And I'm like, our very first employee, who is one of my best friends of over 20 years, was there as a model. She starts crying, Jackie. She starts crying. My husband comes rushing through the double doors of the QVC studios. I thought he's going to come over and like, and just like give me the biggest hug because he sees me crying. No, that's not what he did. He puts his hands up in the air and he goes, we're not going bankrupt. And I was just like, real women have spoken. And like that one airing led to five that year. This was September 2010, led to five more that year on QVC.

Starting point is 01:01:37 And then we got 101 airings the next year, Eventually over 250 live shows a year. And I started going on air over 250 live shows a year on QVC. I did this for eight years straight. We built what became the biggest beauty brand in QVC's history. And I only share that because for years they said no, and not only no, but you're not the right fit. And here's the thing, y'all. I said this to you earlier, and I don't know if you need to hear this today, but no one can tell you you're not the right fit. And what is for you will find you as long as you do not doubt yourself out of your own

Starting point is 01:02:28 destiny, as long as you trust the knowing inside of you over the nose inside your head and the nose all around you. So QVC ended up being the biggest blessing in my life and in this journey of building at Cosmetics. And once we started, you know, going and going and going and getting invited back and invited back, it was incredible. And then you remember the guy, Alan Burke, right? The head of all of QVC Beauty, Alan Burke, the legend. So after we launched on QVC, he's the one that said,

Starting point is 01:03:01 you're not the right fit for QVC or for our customers. Which by the way, I believe rejection is God's protection and I believe in divine timing, right? So I have no anger toward that. But the key is when someone's telling you you're not the right fit, you've got to tune into your own knowing and know, okay, is this great advice I should take in? Does this feel true to me? Or do I feel like I can take parts of the feedback, but I know I'm the right fit and I'm going to keep going, right? It all comes down to your knowing. So after we launched on QVC, Alan Burke ends up becoming one of my dearest friends and greatest mentors in my life. And he still is to this day. And then, you ready for this?

Starting point is 01:03:42 Shortly after we had launched on QVC, he retired. He had been there decades. He retired. And we hired him in a paid position on our advisory board, on our advisory board. So the guy that rejected me was now technically working for me. Like, what? What? Like, no one can tell you that your dreams are too big or too impossible. Nobody, right? You might have God-sized dreams on your heart right now and no one can tell

Starting point is 01:04:17 you that they're too big. So we kept going, kept going, kept growing. Eventually, all of these stores that had said no to us or to change who we are, to fit in, right, but we didn't. We didn't. Eventually, every single one of those stores and every single one of the no's turned into a yes. And the first retailer to just be so passionate about our mission of inclusivity because they have a huge mission around inclusivity and around everything that we stood for was Ulta Beauty.

Starting point is 01:04:53 So Ulta Beauty got behind us really, really big and we grew and grew and grew and became a top brand in their store. And eventually all the department stores, eventually Sephora, all of them became incredible partners. And we grew and grew and grew. I grew to over a thousand employees at IT Cosmetics, which is wild and amazing and very different from the days in my living room. And eventually we started launching into other countries. And I was like, oh wow, this is a lot of work because every country, not to get too

Starting point is 01:05:22 granular, but every country has different regulatory compliance laws and HR laws. And, and so we're out of our office and our mighty team trying to expand into other countries realizing like, oh wow, this is a lot and we can do it because I have this passion and this mission, right? For, for changing the definition of beauty in the beauty space. And, and, space. And we were about to launch 50 shades of our concealer and we were just expanding and just working so hard and growing. But I'm like, okay, we're going to grow slow at this pace slowly if we're doing it all ourselves. So I started having this kind of gut feeling, right? Remember we started, you and I started this conversation today talking about gut feelings. And I had this gut feeling of like,

Starting point is 01:06:08 what if we partner with someone like L'Oreal who has teams on the ground in over a hundred countries who really know the local culture and can help us expand. And I just had this feeling like that's going to happen. But then every time we met with L'Oreal, it was a no. And that went on. And we had become one of the biggest beauty brands in the country and we were still getting no's. We were still getting no's. Until we weren't. Until we weren't. And L'Oreal eventually made an amazing offer to partner with us to buy IT Cosmetics. And when they finally had made that offer, all of a sudden a bunch of other companies did as well. A bunch of other offers came in and I was like, wow. And all the times they had said no when I wanted it to be a yes so badly,

Starting point is 01:07:00 thank God it was a no because now by the time they are saying yes, everyone else wants us. And now the price has gotten way higher. The price has gotten way higher. So rejection is God's protection, right? I believe in divine order to things and sometimes we're getting rejected and told no and things aren't happening and we just have to have that faith that things are happening for us, not to us. By the way, in my book Worthy, I go deep in chapter two on how when you change your

Starting point is 01:07:29 relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. It's like a masterclass on how did I turn every no into a yes? How do you reframe rejection? How do you learn to embrace rejection and have new meanings you assign to it so that you don't let fear of rejection and failure keep you stuck. And I did that in the whole journey, right? Like all of these no's, I'm like, okay, I know that rejection is God's protection. Something big is coming my way. I know this is not a rejection. God is blocking my value from someone because they're not assigned to my destiny.

Starting point is 01:07:59 Like I literally learned how to reframe rejection, which I go deep into how to do that in my book Worthy. So eventually, with all these other companies now wanting us, L'Oreal came back with a way bigger offer. We said yes. And in 2016, L'Oreal paid $1.2 billion cash for the company that we started in our living room. They made me the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand in their 100 plus year history. And it became the most beautiful partnership. And the day that L'Oreal announced the deal, I did not know this was going to happen until the night before. The day they announced the deal, because they're a public company, they had to announce the

Starting point is 01:08:40 purchase price. Like, y'all, my family and friends thought maybe our company's doing good, but they did not know. You know what I mean? And I was kind of like scared to death, like, oh my gosh, this is going to be so public. And the day the deal was announced, it was everywhere. It was all over. It was on the homepage of the Wall Street Journal. It was everywhere. And that was the first time I heard from that potential investor. Remember the way, it had been six years. It had been six years since he had said, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. First time I heard from him

Starting point is 01:09:20 in six years. And he says to me, congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong. I was wrong. And do you remember the movie Pretty Woman? You remember the movie Pretty Woman? The moment, like if you saw the movie when Julia Roberts goes into that store and they won't help her, right? They refuse to help her. And then she goes back a few days later with like carrying all these shopping bags. And she's like, so what I wanted to say to him was the same thing. I wanted to say to him, big mistake, huge, huge. There's part of me that wanted to say, I can give you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake, but I didn't. I kept it classy.

Starting point is 01:10:07 I kept it classy because I would not have wanted to be him. And I just thanked him and kept it moving. And you know what, y'all? Here's the deal. Rejection is God's protection, right? Because even just thinking about him, and he didn't do anything wrong. He did the best thing he knew how based on his own limiting beliefs, right? It was not personal to me.

Starting point is 01:10:30 He just thought, okay, based on everything he believed to be true, his own BS belief system, he believed I can't sell, women won't buy from me because of what I look like. He believed that. That's what his life's journey so far had taught him. Which is why, by the way, the journey to us believing we're worthy is a journey of unlearning all the lies, right? Unlearning more than learning. And he unlearned one that day. But anyhow, I never took it personally because he was just doing the best he knew how with his own limiting belief system. The key is for me not to let his doubt about me turn into doubt in my own head.

Starting point is 01:11:10 Same for you, right? Whoever's doubting you today, uh-uh. You got to know that is not about you and it is not an indication of your potential success. And by the way, in his situation, the time I wanted him to believe in me so badly, remember, I was so desperate, right? I shared with you earlier that, I mean, we were down to no money. We were teetering on bankruptcy for years and I didn't know how we were going to make

Starting point is 01:11:35 it. And so like what's wild is had he believed in me back then, I probably would have given him the majority of the company for almost no money because I just wanted to make sure we didn't go under. But remember what I was talking about, rejection is God's protection. Oh my gosh. Thank God he didn't believe in me because by the time we did sell our business, I was still the largest shareholder. It's like, thank God for that rejection. Thank God he didn't believe in me. Right? So having that faith that your life is divinely orchestrated, right? And maybe for you, it's the universe has your back, or maybe

Starting point is 01:12:11 for you, it's rejections, God's protection, but having, maybe for you, it's things are always happening for you, not to you, but having that faith and trusting it is so key. So the whole deal is announced and I gave L'Oreal my word I would stay for three years and did. I worked 100 hour weeks for those three years, not because they wanted me to, but I was so passionate about it. And we doubled the size of the business the first two years post-acquisition, which is wild. And then did the whole from acquisition phase to integration phase and it was just a wild experience and then at the year three mark I found myself like doing all the fancy stuff right so I was going to all the Oscar parties all the stuff with L'Oreal having this big fancy office things I could have only dreamed of the days I was waitressing at Denny's. And now all of a sudden, I went from doing all the hard things, every detail of product

Starting point is 01:13:09 development and packaging and building a business and all of that, and I was starting to do the fun stuff. And you want to know what happened? I got this feeling, this knowing that my time had come to step away from IT Cosmetics and this incredible family and business I had built and to use everything I'd been through to be of service to others, to offer it out into the world for people that need to believe, like I had to learn to believe that where you come from does not determine where you're going, that your past mistakes do not indicate the potential of your

Starting point is 01:13:45 future successes, that someone else's know about you does not indicate the potential of your hopes and your dreams and your talent. And I remember having that knowing, having that feeling, and I was like fighting God on it. So I was like, no, no, no, no, no, now's not my time to leave. Now's the time it all gets fun and fancy and I'm doing all this stuff and walking these red carpets and, you know, all these celebrities are coming up to me because they want a deal with, you know, an endorsement deal. All this stuff's happening. But in my knowing, I knew that I wasn't supposed to be there anymore.

Starting point is 01:14:20 And I was devastated over it. I struggled with it for a long time because now I found myself going, okay, I have lived by this motto that I'm going to trust when I pray and I get still, I'm going to trust that knowing I've got to do it now too. When it says to step away from all these things that are glamorous and fun and go to serve and trust that divine calling on your life. And so it was so hard. But in 2019, I had fulfilled my three-year commitment to L'Oreal. And oh my gosh, our team and their team, everything merged. Everything was working so beautifully. We were expanding into all these countries. And I was like, okay. It was almost like now letting your baby go off to college.

Starting point is 01:15:02 I'm like, okay. Cosmetics is in great hands Like it's going to be okay. I remember just sobbing the last day. I remember so many of my team members who are my family to this day, love them like family. But I knew I need to trust that knowing, right? Because just as I shared earlier with you, when we were talking earlier, I was saying sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream matters as much as knowing when to go after one. And so in 2019, I stepped away and just like, I remember I took, I just binge ate Lucky Charms and was just sobbing. And my entire first book, Believe It, poured out of me, 80,000 words. And I launched that into the world, which is really my story of learning how to believe in myself and all the tools and how to do that.

Starting point is 01:15:46 And I donated 100% of the proceeds from that to Feeding America and Together Rising. And we have donated millions of meals now and hundreds of thousands of dollars. And it's been such a blessing. And now I spend my time just serving and asking God to use me. And where can I show up and who can I serve and pour into today and use everything I've gone through so far to help other people make it through those things. And this last year I funded leadership training in over 100 prisons and shelters across the

Starting point is 01:16:19 U.S. And then there is a big thing that happened that I'll share with you in another episode. But I realized a huge epiphany in my life that I was very, very confident in many areas, but still struggled to believe I was enough deep down inside at an identity level. And that is when the book Worthy poured out of me. And Worthy is a book about, you know, because our self-worth is our ceiling. And so while Believe It was my story of learning to believe in me, Worthy is the playbook on how you believe in you.

Starting point is 01:16:50 It's like 20 tools on how to build unshakable self-worth. And with Worthy, I'm donating a hundred percent of the proceeds as well. Um, and so I'm excited to just put that out as this beautiful offering to you and to share it with you. I did a library card in the end of the book because I am imagining, like right now as you and I are talking, 80% of women don't believe they're enough. 75% of female executives deal with imposter syndrome. 91% of girls and women don't love their bodies.

Starting point is 01:17:19 73% of men feel inadequate and not enough. And when we believe we are not enough, our self-worth will become our ceiling. And when we believe we are not enough as who we are, it is a lie. And the time to unlearn that lie has come. So that is why I wrote Worthy. And now I'm launching this show with you, the Jamie Kern Lima show. And so I am just so honored, so grateful, so blessed to be on this journey with you. And my whole intention, right, is for this journey together through this show and through everything else to help you learn to truly, fully believe in you, right? And when you imagine the power that is you and you embracing that. Like my one question for you today is what will you do with the power that is you?

Starting point is 01:18:13 And my hope on this show is to help you bravely, boldly listen to the answer of that question and then live that answer and then live that answer. And I am so excited to be here with you on this journey of the Jamie Kern Lima show. And I have one more thing to share with you, but before I do, if you got value out of this episode, my only ask is that you please share it. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online

Starting point is 01:18:49 or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are,

Starting point is 01:19:14 are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are loved. I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

Starting point is 01:19:56 In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt,

Starting point is 01:20:40 and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Do you struggle with negative self-talk?

Starting point is 01:21:31 Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk

Starting point is 01:22:08 to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com slash resources, or click the link in the show notes below. This show is presented solely for

Starting point is 01:22:53 entertainment purposes only. It's not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, professional coach, or other qualified professional. I hope you enjoyed this episode and conversation together. And I am so grateful to be on this journey with you. And did you know for every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show, there are a set of special prompt questions just for you to help you on your journey of aha moments and revelations in your own life from each episode. Make sure you join my free email newsletter at jamiekernlima.com to get them sent to you each week. And each episode is meant to be evergreen and packed with timeless life lessons. So you can go back and listen to past episodes you perhaps haven't heard yet as we are going

Starting point is 01:23:50 on this incredible journey of building self-worth and living our best lives together.

The Jamie Kern Lima Show - This is How To Believe In Yourself! Overcome Self-Doubt, and Learn to Believe You Are Worthy!

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