The Jefferson Fisher Podcast - How to Speak with Confidence at Work

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

Ever feel like you’re not being taken seriously at work? In this episode, I’m sharing three tools that will instantly level up how you’re perceived in meetings and conversations. From how you speak to how you set boundaries, these simple shifts will help you show up with more confidence—and earn the respect you deserve without changing who you are. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Momentous. Visit https://www.livemomentous.com/ and use code JEFFERSON for 35% off your first order. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're somebody who when you go into the office at work and you wish you felt a little bit more confident You felt like your words carried a little bit more weight You felt like when you went to those meetings you were a little bit more respected Well this episode is for you today. We're talking how to be more respected in your communication Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation communication. Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation, the one that changes everything. If you enjoy learning tools to improve your communication, I'm going to ask you

to please like, subscribe, follow this podcast, wherever you're listening. And in exchange, my promise is to make you a better communicator. If you don't know, I send out a weekly communication tip right to your inbox. It's just one tip totally for free to help you start your week. If you go down to the show notes, you'll see a link there for the one tip totally for free to help you start your week. If you go down to the show notes, you'll see a link there for the newsletter and I hope to see you there. This podcast is sponsored by Cozy Earth. I love Cozy Earth because I use their stuff. I say it all the time, but it's true. Their sheets are on my bed right now. I live in Texas. It is sweltering

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use the code Jefferson for 40% off. I had a friend of mine that she felt that whenever she went into the office, she wasn't really being listened to. And I said, okay, well, what's going on? What are you doing? When you first go into the office, what is your persona like? How are you behaving? And she told me, well, I'm kind of jumpy. I like to, I'm very excited. I get very excited. I use my hands a whole lot. I'm like, that's great. That, I use my hands a whole lot. I'm like, that's great, that's all good.

And there's nothing wrong with that. How do you wish that they perceived you? And she said, well, I wish they took me more seriously. I said, okay, well, there's nothing wrong with that. Either way, I do not want you to change who you are. At the same time, what you're telling me about yourself does not match with the outcome that you're wanting. When you say, I want people to take me more seriously,

I want people to respect me more, I said that is a different line of communication when you want somebody to take you more seriously. If you're somebody who's extremely bubbly, awesome, that's great, but are you also bubbly in the serious things? She goes, well, I kind of just get nervous and I try to look in the positive of everything and I said, that's great.

I want you to keep with that. I want you to always look in the positive side of things but let's look more at how you're talking and behaving. Here's some things that I shared with her and she's over in Austin, Texas. So you know who you are, shout out what's up. Is that here's three things I want you to do if you wanna be more respected in the workplace.

Number one, you already know it, I want you to use a calmer voice. That doesn't mean change who you are, that just means you have to decide to slow down your words. Even when you get amped up and you're somebody who has a really high register in their voice and they sound really high, or you talk really somebody who has a really high register in their voice and they sound really high you talk really high like a really high pitch all the time you're going with a question mark you're going

hey so I was just wondering that kind of stuff is always up in that higher register it doesn't sound what nearly as calm in exchange it didn't sound nearly as confident but even if you have a higher register voice if you slow down your words it's very high to continue to have a very high register. So when you slow down your words, you will automatically put your words more at rest. When you get worked up, when you get, just think about this right now,

if you're really excited about something, you get really excited, somebody surprises you, you're amped up, you're excited, how do you typically sound? Do you speed up or do you slow down? You typically really excited. Somebody surprises you. You're amped up, you're excited. How do you typically sound? Do you speed up or do you slow down? You typically speed up. And when you do that, your voice goes up as well. When you slow down, your voice goes lower.

Naturally, now I'm not saying you have to have a low voice like mine. If, I would say my voice is kind of low. You, I don't know. You don't have to have a voice that sounds like my voice. It does not matter. My point is anytime you have a voice that says, I am not nervous, I am not threatened, a voice that says, I am not anxious, and it all has to do with the tone of your voice. If I'm always just really, really fast and I'm getting really amped up and I'm anxious You know what right now, you're probably gonna be feeling a little bit more anxious. Just listening to me But if I slow down my words the better I communicate in exchange people hear that and they go

I like how this person is talking to me. I'm going to respect that more Why because it sounds more grounded. It sounds less anxious. It sounds less uncertain. So whenever you slow down your words, you calm, you send a signal of calm. Whenever you slow down your words, lower your voice. Easy, you know to do this, but it's extremely important. How else can you be more respected in the workplace? Number two, use words that tell people where you stand. I'll tell you who's not respected, the people who are always wish-washy on things. And when I was talking with my friend in Austin, she understood my point. She didn't like this point, which I understood. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to be uncertain. She goes, well, Jefferson,

there's some things I just don't know. That's fine. There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Here is the difference. If I go, if you ask me a question and I go, you know, I don't, I mean, maybe I'm not, I'm not really sure. I mean, that's, I mean, possibly. Is that somebody you're going to respect more or less just based on what you just heard versus me saying, here's what I know, I'm not sure at this point, but I know after some time we're

going to figure it out. Does that, and right there I'm already admitting I don't know the answer. Same thing as the point of before when I gave the wishy washy answer. One sounds more respectful, that you can, hey, I respect what this person's saying, I respect their position. The other sounds way more off. How do you, Jefferson, how do you do that? Very easy way to be more respected in your meetings

when you get asked for opinions is to begin with the phrase, here is. Here's what I know. That one's easy. Here's what I know. Give your opinion. Right, well you're telling them, here's where I stand. Even if you were to say, here's where I stand on this. Here's what I've heard.

Here's what I know to be true. You hear how I am using my words to inform everybody else exactly where I stand in this meeting, in the office. Here is. Here's the takeaway. Here's my point. Here's what I know. Here's the truth. Here's the question. When you say here is, I am taking what I know and almost delivering it to you on a platter, even if that platter has nothing on it. Here's what I know. I don't know the answer right now, but I'll find it out. I am going to naturally exude more respect from anybody by telling them where I stand. Think about anybody you ask an opinion of and they're really, really wishy washy. respect from anybody by telling them where I stand.

Think about anybody you ask an opinion of, and they're really, really wishy washy. Do you go, ah, I can respect that position. No, you like to know where they stand on the topic. Even if it's, here's what I know, I don't have an opinion yet. You can go, okay, I can respect that. I can respect that.

So how do you be more respected? In meetings, show them where you stand on any topic, on any issue, when it gets brought to your table. And you do that by beginning with the phrase, here is. Here's what I know, here's where I stand. Easy, you got this, I promise. Before we keep going, I wanna take a second to tell you about momentous.

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Number three, if you want to be more respected in the workplace, you have to be good with using boundaries without the apology. This one was very hard for her and we walked through it. I said, okay, we're gonna be able to do this. I promise. People who are respected are the ones when things are going south in the meeting, they say, I need to stop you there. I'm gonna stop you there. They're not gonna say, hey, okay, sorry, I really need to, sorry, I need to process this for a second. I'm so sorry That kind of stuff you don't respect right because they're apologizing for it. They're being hesitant instead of leaning into it

I need to stop you there or I'm not comfortable with where this conversation is going. They use words like direction I'm not go with the direction of where this is going they lay the boundary without apologizing an easy boundary to apply is when you tell somebody the consequence, the consequence. And it sounds like this. I'm not comfortable where this conversation is going. If we continue down this road, this is the end of the conversation. That's one of my favorite endings. If this, then this is the end of the conversation. If why, then this is the end of the conversation. I did that all the time with plaintiff attorneys and defense attorneys.

If the conversation, they were getting heated and I didn't like where it was going, I had no problem saying, if you continue to go down this path with me, this is the end of the conversation. You know what they did? They always self-corrected. It's me easily putting a boundary, making it bright red for them to know, hey, this is where it stops. I'm going to stop you there. If you continue to talk to me like that, this is the end of the conversation. They don't apologize for it. They don't say, hey, I'm so sorry, this, you know, this really is just breaks my boundary here. Whenever you are apologizing and justifying a boundary, people respect it less. Even if you put a boundary, understand that there's going to be people who don't agree with it. There's going to be people especially who don't like it.

There's nothing wrong with that. What I teach is just because somebody's uncomfortable with your boundary doesn't mean that that boundary is wrong. Typically means that that boundary is working. So how can you be more respected? In the office I want you to use a calmer voice. Two, I want you to use words that show people where you stand in the conversation. A really easy way to do that is beginning with here is here's what I know, here's what with here is, here's what I know. Here's what I've heard. Here's what I know to be true. And then give your opinion and

that's going to be more respected. Three, if things go south, you need to be comfortable with putting up the boundary of knowing what you're going to do, what you're not going to do without the apology. The other person may not like that, but they will respect you for it. One of the biggest things I had to take away with my friend in Austin, she understood that the apologies are what typically sank how she felt in communication and meeting. She found a way to always go, okay I'm sorry you can let me know if this is this is totally wrong and I worked through her to go out Let's let's delete all that. Let's scrape all of that because she's a very bubbly personality. She's fantastic. She's been a friend of

Me and my wife for a long time. I went to college with her and she's just as happy as can be but at the same time She felt like she wasn't all that respected and maybe that's you right now. You're listening and you're saying, I mean, I'm a nice person. I do good things for people, but I still don't feel like they're really listening to me. The answer is not to be more happy. The answer is not to be more positive. If only I just have a better outlook on everything,

they're going to respect me more in my communication. That's not the truth. People, I don't want you to change, I don't want you to respect me more in my communication That's not the truth People I don't want you to change. I don't you to hear me. Okay, I guess I have to change my own personality No, that's not it at all. That's the opposite of what I'm telling you to do contain keep exactly who you are stay true to who you are at all times and Staying true to who you are What we're also going to do is when times get more serious at work, in meetings, on calls,

the times and moments of can I respect you and not, when you're talking to anybody, happen in the moments that are more difficult, happens in the moment when things are on the line and you've gotten past the ball and it's your turn to talk and it's your turn to put up your opinion. It's your turn to put out whatever you need to put out

in that moment. You will be respected more when your voice is not super high but slower and more steady, you're signaling calm. You're gonna be more respected when you show them where you stand in the meeting, where you stand in the situation, where you stand in the conversation. And three, how you handle it when people start pushing your boundary, how when people start disrespecting you, so to speak, and you're very quick to say, hey, I need to stop you there. I don't allow people to disrespect me in conversation.

And if you continue to do that, then this is going to be end of it. This is going to be the end of it. You see how I'm staying calm? Matter of fact, I'm not getting worked up. And most of all, I'm not apologizing for it. You can do it. I know that you can. How to be more respected in your communication. Go out, go do good things always. And as always, you can try that and follow me.