The Joe Rogan Experience - #1 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: December 24, 2009

Joe sits down with Brian Redban.

Start broadcast and then update to Twitter. And then I always like to watch my own channel so let's go to your own channel so you can see what the chat is. And then I press pause on that. On this? No, no, on that. On the one on the chat. Right.

And then update your internet tonight. Update my internet? Go to the faster one. Yeah, faster one. You're gonna get addicted to...oh nice colors. Pretty. Pretty, pretty. 21 minutes ago. Oh, that's Twitter.

See? Now people are going to ask questions. It's just going to... All right. Awful Twitter. All right. Let me go to my website. What is my Ustream?

Yeah, just click. Or go back to that other page, you know. But that's not it. I think this one is it. Or that one is it. Yeah, you don't want to have too many windows open because you're going to be killing your internet. Right. It's killing it right now.

Yeah. So I would X out that one and that one. Maybe even close your TweetDeck. Really? Well, not TweetDeck, I guess. It only updates every once in a while. Um, I'll log in, right? I think that's huge. Yeah, totally. Oh, you got screen burn in? Huh? I think that's huge. Yeah, totally.

Oh, you got screen burn in? Huh? You got screen burn in? What are you talking about? Go back to your message board for a second. That tattered on the way right. See that? Yeah, what is that?

Looks like screen burn in. Right, but it's only the image that's blown. I think there's a transparency issue. Hoo-doo-doo-doo. Right, but it's only the image that's below. I think there's a transparency issue. Okay, what is the channel, though? This isn't the channel. It is right... Try upstream.tv backslash channel Joe Rogan life yeah right there try it you can try it out yeah yeah

kill that do do do do do do do do damn this is slow as fuck right now yeah And then when we get fancy, we could put your website address and we put graphics and all that stuff This is slow as fuck pause that one screen, you know that where we're watching yourself live Hi, so this is how you guys doing hi we're doing great Hi everybody If you want to watch the chat you click on this and people could chat live, you know? That's good. We are broadcasting live.

This is my office. This is Brian Reichel aka Red Bam hello world the fuck is going on ah the questions are coming in now how you guys doing

we're doing swell I don't think we're quite high enough for this haha forgot we even started Off camera marijuana use. Pull it into the camera. What the fuck is that? Is there fire in this room? What's going on?

How is the quality, sound and video-wise? Yeah, how's the quality? Sound, video-wise? Does it sound alright? Can you see us alright? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Someone says they're already hard. That's amazing.

We got somebody hard, dude. someone says they're already hard that's amazing that's my heart this is not this see this guy here and this guy's above that but this guy is anonymous what's that all about see yeah huh so we did dead air bad Brogan where's goalie yeah we just started this it's not very good I just it's that person probably no it's not see this guy right here more red see good sound quality yeah the videos oh see different guy this guy's tweeted his tweet tweets not coming through oh that See? Good sound quality. Yeah, the video and sound. See? Different guy. His tweet's not coming through.

Oh, that might be something weird. I was talking about where they said the sound and video. Snowflakes falling are a bit annoying. Oh, come on. It's Christmas. Video and sound are okay, but the snowflakes are annoying. Does everybody feel like the snowflakes are annoying is it just one dude that's kinda

you know anal about what he looks at on a screen come on man it's a beautiful snowflake Merry Christmas you fucks how you doing everybody Merry Christmas my friend you gonna change it no we'll just add something else go with bubbles

bubbles we'll add bubbles and there it's just for that dude and then we will add a clock for that guy this is for two thousand we don't need a clock yeah kill the clock. The clock's ridiculous. But anyways, you can go through it, and then if you want to un-exit, we'll take him off. Oh, this is good. Comic book.

What's comic book? That makes you look like a comic book. Oh, that's gay. Yeah. So then you can see, scroll down. That's hilarious. Bubbles and snowflakes Flame on

Let's see what flame on does We're on fire Let's get it I don't like that either Glow? Shall we glow? No we shall not And you can change Sometimes they have options

So if you wanted to glow less You can drag that Oh let's go to the matrix Black helicopters try to take your baby. It's just the matrix though. Where did I go? Yeah, you see if you oh, this is terrible. Yeah NASA Pixelate. Pop art. All right. All these look gross. Thermal bubble.

Thought bubble. There you go. And then you can type in what you want right there. Oh, I love it. Okay, that's good. How much of this shit is annoying? Probably the bubbles. The bubbles are annoying, and me just sitting in front of the fucking computer

just going, how about this? That's annoying. There's people watching this. Why don't you show them this awesome box that somebody made? Yeah, this is an awesome box that some wonderful couple got me. I'm not sure if the dude made it or the girl made it, but this is like a killer stash box that these two cool people gave me.

Well, actually the guy made it because the girl made the pipe, now I remember. The girl's a glass blower. But it's this wild box with like this cool Alex Gray art on it It's like a really trippy stash box and Some guy made it to me and gave it to me after one of his shows I wish I knew the dude's name because it's very cool and the box has like a little place where you would keep your tobacco box has like a little place where you would keep your tobacco and she made me this killer little pipe and he may get it away from the snowflakes but uh whoever they are if they're watching this

highly unlikely but if they're nobody's watching this thank you We have 10 people in here. No. Oh, 113 already? Wow. Okay. This is like... 113 people is like a show at a comedy club. Now I feel pressure. Isn't that weird? 113 people is like we have to be entertaining.

Let's read the Twitter feed and see what the fuck is up, bitches. Let's see this stash. How dare you? It's not a stash. This is medicine. This is called train wreck. You can see it right there. And you see right there, this, if you don't know, if you're from out of town, that red cross and the marijuana leaf, this is medical marijuana. So this is totally legal in the state of California. It's pretty trippy because you drive down the street and I was driving down the street yesterday and we were looking for places

where we could, uh, you know, like we could see how many places are near my house. There's like fucking 20 places within a couple miles of my house that I can go. And a lot of them, they just say like collective on it. They'll say like, Hills Collective or fucking Dick Street Collective, whatever. And it'll have a red cross. And that's all you need to know. And everybody knows that it's weed. They have green letters. Everybody uses green letters.

And they're everywhere. And you go. And if you have one of these right here. This is Brian's. You see this. This is a real legitimate recommendation from a doctor. And this, all you do is you go to a doctor and you say, marijuana helps me sleep, whatever. And the doctor will give you one of these legitimate recommendations, a legal prescription in the

state of California for marijuana. And then you go to these places and some of them you can pay with a fucking credit card. It's the trippiest thing ever you you buy weed with a credit card and you're like what year is this it's 2009 but the rest of the country's still living in the dark ages colorado is catching up colorado has a bunch of places now colorado actually is going to open up a medical marijuana restaurant and they're going to open up some 30 000 square foot weed superstore in boulder it's fucking gigantic. It's like three stories. Isn't Texas even doing like a vote soon or something like that?

Yeah, well, a lot of people are trying. A lot of states are trying. Massachusetts recently made it. They decriminalized it. They don't have any medical law yet there, but now it's completely not legal, but it's not illegal. It's a weird thing. You're not allowed to sell it. Possession is one thing, but now it's completely not legal but it's not illegal it's a weird thing like you're not allowed to sell it like possession is one thing but selling it there's a different thing you're still not allowed to sell it which is fine let people fucking grow it you know really it took fucking Hunter S Thompson

had it right Hunter S Thompson when he was running for sheriff he was saying that no drug good enough to be taken should be allowed to be sold that was like a law that he's going to pass in aspen and he was going to call aspen fat city he was going to change the name of aspen to fat city he's going to tear up all the roads and sod the streets so it was all dirt roads everywhere and he fucking lost by 400 votes it's only 400 votes he can't if he won if he was the the sheriff Aspen, that would have been fucking badass. But one of the things that he wanted to have was that any drug that

you can take that's good enough to be taken should be legal. And he's fucking totally right. You know, if people want weed, people should trade things for weed. You know what? Fuck it. You should be able to buy it if you want to. But the problem with that is, you know, then you're going to get some really unscrupulous people that just want to sell pot. You know, they just want to sell it. And you want to but the problem with that is you know then you're gonna get some really unscrupulous people that just want to sell pot you know they just want to sell it and they they

want to make profit off of it and then it becomes like anything else the they try to cut out the competition and like like one of the weed stores that i go to there's a guy right next door to him that opened up like i'm talking like right next door like there's maybe like one storefront between two weed stores. And the guy's pissed off. And he's fucking, this guy's a dick. That's totally not in the spirit of, you know, what marijuana is supposed to be. I mean, you're not supposed to be opening up right next to a store to a dude and killing his competition.

But he shouldn't be like, fuck that dude. You know, what's that dude doing? He's just another dude selling weed. Yeah, he shouldn't be doing it right next to you. Yes, correct. But don't be an asshole. You're fucking selling weed, Yeah, I shouldn't be doing it right next to you. Yes, correct, but don't be an asshole. You're fucking selling weed, pal. You know?

You ain't fixing the world. Hunter S. Thompson is my hero, and I'm planting full sleeves of Ralph Steedman art. Are you really? Wow, that's a fucking good idea. Stedman? Stedman or Steedman? I forget how you say his name.

Is it Steedman? Fucking, I love his art. His art perfectly goes like, what's the word I'm looking for? Compliments Hunter S. Thompson's writing. You know, that guy just fucking nailed it from the very first time they worked together when they did that, the Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved. From that story all the way on to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, that Ralph guy, he fucking nailed it. He was hanging with Hunter. He totally got the vibe that Hunter was writing.

He totally got where Hunter was seeing things. I just started getting into Hunter S. Thompson really recently. I guess maybe a year and a half ago, I was staying in a hotel room in Seattle, and I ordered up Gonzo on the pay-per-view in the hotel. Just because nothing else looked good, I said, fuck it, I'll just check this out. I immediately became a Hunter S. Thompson fan. I started reading his books. The one I'm reading now is this one.

Great Shark Hunt. It's great. It's got everything in there. It's got a bunch of this different shit. Fear and Loathing's in there. The Kentucky Derby's in there. A lot of great stories. Like a collection of his works.

The Quintessential. Well, need to open grow homes with retail fronts. Yeah, man. Keep it all easy. That's what I'm talking about. If you've never been to a grow room before, I've only been to one grow room. It was pretty interesting. There was a place in L.A. where they – it was a full-service place.

You could get a prescription there. You could get weed there. And you could – why don't you come in the scene here, fellas? I want to picture you with me. Hi. You could get weed there. And they grew it. So there was like this back room where they had all these lights set up.

It was pretty fucking trippy, man. Like it was a big ass room. And it was filled with these plants. And they were all lit up. And you walk through the plants. And like, yeah, they were alive. You know, they're living plants, but it felt like, like they were conscious.

Like maybe it was because I was really high. That might be, but maybe because I was really high, I was able to tune into it, but it was, it was a very weird sensation. It felt like I was around like living entities. Like it didn't just feel like they were plants. It felt like they were alive. You know, it was very strange, it was cool I thought about it, I was like that would be cool to have something like that in my house

but that's pretty illegal federally at least if they caught you with a bunch of plants in your house they'd be like hey bitch what are you doing with those you're allowed to have a bunch yeah we're allowed to have a bunch you can have like up to six plants you're actually allowed to have more because you have that extra special

oh that's right I have an exemption because I'm a fucking real stoner. Is two of these fucking with us here? No, but you can totally turn off that second one. This one? Yeah. Sorry, folks. Getting organized. This is the first time I've

I'm always threatening to do some shit like this and I never follow through. Why were the UFC ring girls fired? I do not know. They were very nice. All of them were? Two girls were fired. They left Ariane who is a very nice person as well. I've been friends with her

for years. She's a super cool chick. And hot. Very hot. Probably classically beautiful. Like it doesn't get any more beautiful. Her face. Very nice person too. You can follow her on Twitter. Probably classically beautiful. Like, it doesn't get any more beautiful, her face. Very nice person, too. You can follow her on Twitter. She's on Twitter. Is the one with the fake wig still working?

Why are you talking about fake wig? How dare you? First of all, how dare you? How dare you? Fuck with her whole career. The one with the fake wig. She has a fake wig, right? I don't know.

Which one are you talking about? The one with the big hair. The 70s hair. She looks like she has 70s hair him she just started like maybe oh the blonde one yeah her name is Logan she did not have fake hair that was her that was real yeah she just has some curly hair and I saw she wears it right very nice girl I thought the Atlanta housewives thing you know how that wigs are back so I thought that was those you might be right you might be right

Atlanta you ever watched that housewives of atlanta show oh there's nothing like first of all there's nothing like white girls around black girls when they start talking black i love that shit i love when white guys do it i love when white girls do it to me it's just like watching chimps at the zoo when they fuck each other when they go crazy it's like wow this is weird this is interesting when white people around black people they start acting black there's no better example than the stephen seagal show holy have you seen when he does that he pulls up to a group of black people's like what up cuz what's going on oh dude much love much love he talks black like really condescendingly and then you know when he's in the car when the camera's on he'll

talk like buddhist he says it says like stupid you know, when he's in the car, when the camera's on, he'll talk like Buddhist. He says like stupid shit, you know. The one monk was walking with the younger monk. And the younger monk says, what is the way of Buddha? The way. And so the older monk throws him in the water. Deep. Like what? He talks like he's two totally different dudes.

He talks like the Stephen Seagal who's like the mystical man. And the Stephen Seagal who who's like the mystical man, and the Steven Seagal, who is this fucking strange cop, in Louisiana. He has a southern accent, that he uses part of the time, part of the time, and then occasionally,

he drops the southern accent, and he goes with a full on black accent, like where he's in the hood. But Steven Seagal, is a fucking cop, like for real. Like he puts on a bulletproof vest, he gets in his fucking car,

and they go fight crime. And it's like, who is letting him do this? How crazy is it that all you have to have is a couple fucking movies? Have you seen his website? Oh, it's genius. Yeah. It's awesome. Is it stevenseagal.com?

I think so. Have you seen Jim Carrey's website? Yeah. Jim Carrey's website is dope. Jim Carrey has the most amazing website in the whole entire world. It's pretty cool. I've never seen a better website. Yeah, it's very unique. When I see websites like that, I wish I still tripped on shrooms all the time.

Because I would just sit at his website all day. Yeah, no shit. Beyond the mind's eye. Yeah, the Sakal show is fucking... Oh, what the fuck? He's been attacked. This behind me, this sign, is a point of controversy from the man show when I hosted it. Yeah, I know it was terrible.

Listen, we thought it was terrible too. We got fucked. When Doug Stanhope and I went to do that show, they lied to us. They told us, you can do nudity, we'll blur it out, you can swear, we'll beep it out. We want you to go crazy. We want to to get sued it's going to be great publicity and then when we started doing it first of all janet jackson pulled her nipple out and everybody went fucking crazy crazy we're still feeling the effects from that it's amazing like literally television got set back a decade because of janet jackson's nipple and the big thing was that they

were showing it during the dinner hour and children were watching well isn't like a woman's nipple. And the big thing was that they were showing it during the dinner hour and children were watching. Well, isn't a woman's nipple? Are we that fucking crazy? It's not like she had a rifle up her pussy. It's a fucking nipple. That's where babies feed. Is it that offensive?

It's for babies. It is, man. Talking about it being during the dinner hour, somebody had a really good point when this happened. He said, isn't that like the first meal? That's like first – I mean talking about it being during the dinner hour, somebody had a really good point when this happened. He said, isn't that like the first meal? That's like the dinner. Yeah, I mean breasts.

Yeah, you see that since you were a kid. Well, you know what? Especially having kids of my own. Now when I see Mrs. Rogan make fucking milk with her tits and I'm like – Dead to me. The tits are dead to me. I don't suck on them anymore. I see the tits are dead to me. I don't suck on them anymore.

But what's more important is that you look at them and you say, that's like, those are, that's like where food comes from. Like, it's not offensive. But anyway, this thing behind us, Make Me Hard, this is how fucking stupid they were when we were doing this show. There was an argument, and we came up with a game show called Make Me Hard. And what it was is the guy would be strapped into a chair, and he would have this box on his dick and with a light would go off on the box and you know the light would indicate that he has a boner and so we'd have like midgets eating bananas and shit and oh he's getting hard you know it was kind of corny but what we really the reason why we did it is one of the gags was we had this really hot chick and she climbs all over him. The audience is going fucking crazy. They're going nuts.

And this really hot chick at the end of this, she pulls her tits out. He's sucking on her tits, whipped cream, the whole deal. And then she pulls her panties off and she's got a dick. And the audience goes crazy. She was a tranny. And I mean, I've never heard a bigger wave of disappointment than when this tranny pulls out this dick.

And she was taking all kinds of hormones, so it was like a dick that had been poisoned. It looked like dead. It was like dark. It was dark and shriveled up like it burned, like chemically burned. Like it was like a little dead monkey dick. What did it smell like? I don't know. And she pulled it out, and she starts like like swinging it around and the fucking audience went crazy. And the guy sitting in the chair just had this look

in his face of heart. Well, they approved all that, but what they wouldn't approve is the name of the show. Make me hard. They said that we had to name the show. Make me stiff. Like this is like an argument, like for real, like there's a difference. they they mean the same thing just make me stiff doesn't sound Doesn't sound quite as funny really doesn't matter I mean what's the difference but the point was that they were willing to argue this that was a big deal for them and that shows You how these shows work the best shows like Like stand-up comedians like if you take a guy like Dave Chappelle or you know know, Cat Williams or anybody, any good comic that you like, they write all their own shit. They write it, they perform it, they're saying shit that they think is funny. They're the producer, they are the performer,

they're the whole ball of wax, they're the writer, they're everything. And that's why you get a pure product, because you get a product that's from this dude's mind. Well, what happens is when you like start working on a television show, these people that are working for the network, somebody has to work for the network. And you would assume that the people at the very top of the food chain are the perfect people for the job. But that's not true. They're just people that somehow or another got that fucking job. And a lot of them, they like to think that they know what's good. They like to think they have an eye for it.

And they always want to put their footprint on it. They want to put their handprint on it. They want to change something. And anything that – I think the background should be blue. We're going to ruin the whole show with this red background. And they'll go crazy and they'll fucking fight over this. Why? Because they want to be the one to say, well, it was me that decided for the blue background. If they didn't go with that blue background, the show was shit. Am I right? And then the wife will agree with them and they all get fucking pilled

up together. This is what they argued over. Make me hard. So this is, I got to keep this sign because it was useless because we had to change the sign to make me stiff. Like it's okay to pull out your fucking dick. It's okay to have a guy strapped to a chair

thinking a chick is on top of him and this chick pulls out this wrinkled, poisoned, black dick. That's okay. But you can't call it hard. You have to call it stiff.

It's really that dumb. It seems like I would be exaggerating, but that's why Dave Chappelle walked away from the Chappelle Show. It's just because when you're a comic, having somebody else tell you what's good and what's bad, like there was one of the things we did in the Man Show where we wanted Joey Diaz. If you don't know who Joey Diaz is,

his Twitter is MadFlavor, one word, at MadFlavor. And Joey Diaz is one of the funniest dudes I've ever met in my life. He's like one of the funniest human beings to ever live. Joey weighs like 350 pounds. He's down to 300, but back then he was like 350. He'd get naked. He'd get naked all the time, get naked on stage. His balls literally look like

grapefruit in an old lady's pantyhose. They're fucking ridiculous. He doesn't shave them, but they have no hair on them. He has no hair on his arms, no hair on his chest. And he's fat as fuck. And we wanted to have him introduce us at the beginning of every show. He kicks open this door and comes out yelling, let's get this party started. And his balls are jingling.

It's fucking hilarious. First of all, it's hilarious because Joey's hilarious. No matter what, he could read. Doug Stanhope said Joey Diaz could read the phone book and it'd be funnier than most of the shit you see on late night TV. And that's totally true. But they were like, that's not funny. What's funny about this? This is not funny.

No one's going to laugh. It was like a big argument. And I said, listen, let's do two openings. We'll do one regular opening and then we'll do one opening with Joey. Well, we did the opening with Joey and they went fucking crazy. Of course. Everybody was screaming and laughing and yelling. And it set the tone.

The tone that we wanted to have. Like this is, we're just trying to have fun. We fun we're not you know we're not trying to be relevant or we're just trying to have something that people enjoy let's have fun let's have a fucking good time but it was almost impossible to try to have that good time when you have you know other people like that aren't necessarily funny at all and they're like putting their input into what's what should be in this comedy show so doug and i got fucked but the most important thing is that we had a good time and we came well we were always good friends but we came great friends doing that all right what else what's going on here the snowflakes

what you don't like the snowflakes they're dragging the video stream down oh you know what you might be right right, dude. Here, I'm taking a picture of that. The snowflakes might be fucking us. Ah! Now you're afraid of them. No more snowflakes. Is that better, everybody? Oh, I'm sure it's better. My fucking, my internet's gay. You need to upgrade that. I can't believe you have,

you haven't done that. I live. You used to be on top of the game. I live in a, I know. He used to have the fastest internet back when internet was, you know, 28K, 56K. He used to have... Well, back when... ISDN? No, ISDN first, then I got a T1 line installed in my house. T1.

Back when we were on 56K modes. This is for business lines. I mean, they only had it at businesses. And I live way the fuck outside of LA. And it took a long time for us to get like DSL and shit out here like I couldn't get cable I used to have to get satellite the DirecTV so so they they the only thing they have that was really fast is this thing called a t1 line but it was a thousand bucks a

month that was on news radio I was like I was totally new rich you know I was on news radio, I was totally new rich. I was like, okay. Bam, bam, bam. So when that happened, I was like, okay, let's do it. $1,000 a month, come on, let's do it. And so I got this crazy, super fast internet pipe installed in my house. But now I got this gay DSL. This is not very powerful. I need to upgrade.

I'm going to get some of that AT&T U-verse loving. What else we got here? Much better? Is that much better? Thank you. Good. Awesome. Yeah, because once you get that, then...

That's why I asked if you had Wi-Fi. Check the dude in the background for a pulse. Wow, he might be a vampire. Team Jacob! What the fuck is going on with America? We have rock stars that don't fuck, right? The Jonas Brothers. We got vampires that don't

bite anybody. We have pop stars that can't go to sleep so they get literally sedated every night. We have golfers getting fucked. We got America

that's freaking out because an ugly rich guy is getting a lot of pussy. He's cheating on his wife. He's cheating on his wife. He's a black athlete. Like,

is that really a big shot? He's ugly. It's amazing that a guy like that all he has to do is be good at something and acquire a bunch of numbers and he can fuck all these girls. Like, he's not that a guy like that, all he has to do is be good at something and acquire a bunch of numbers. And he can fuck all these girls.

Like, he's not even paying these girls. It's incredible. Because one of the girls was, like, asking for money. And he was like, I can't help you. Like, he's not even paying them. So he's this, like, billionaire dude. And he's banging these cocktail waitresses. And they're struggling with their bills.

And he won't even fork over any cash. Like, how hard would it be for Tiger Woods to just slip her $10, her 10 grand you know what's the big deal she she lets you fuck her like do you have a mirror in your house like you're getting something out of this man you get to fuck her and all he wanted was just give him dick like that's all you get you get dick you don't get no money and on one hand i gotta say the dude had a very strong pimp hand. You know, I kind of respect that. But on the other hand, I feel like maybe she'd give her some money. Maybe she wouldn't be making a fucking tell-all book if you were really nice to her and you gave her the money that she needed. Yeah.

Tiger is handsome. So says gay man. Synthesis. Tiger is handsome? Okay, you know what? He's not ugly. But he's not like, he's not Jacob. He looks kind of like a bug.

He's not a handsome man. He's unfortunate looking. You know? I mean, he's very well built. He's very athletic. He's obviously very driven. He's got a lot of attractive qualities. Uber successful.

But you can't say that he's, you know, I mean, like, who's classic? You don't like your guy's black. Sure I do. If he was like that Tyrese dude, that actor dude, that's a very handsome man. That's a handsome motherfucker. If you found out that he was banging 16 chicks across the country, you'd be like, that's it? Only 16?

Figured he had fucking 10 in each town and he was plowing. That guy's a stud. But Tiger doesn't look like that. Tiger doesn't look like a male model. He looks like an unfortunate mix of ethnicities. But you know, whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

Hey, look, I'm that dude from Crawl. Would you choke Red Band out, please? Look, I'm that dude from Crawl. Oh, that's mean. You know the movie Crawl? The Cyclops? You know it was the fucking shit that uh

Pans Labernin the thing that had the eyes on his hands that Guillermo del Toro dude was pretty badass but I gotta say his book sucks The Strain

really good book for like the first hundred pages and then he got tired of writing it and just fucking just finished it

like real sloppy like really bad action scenes like the killing the vampires like so easy it was really stupid it was really good in the beginning i was like what a great premise the fucking airplane lands everybody in the plane is dead they can't figure out what's going on they all turn into vampires and takes over the whole city it's pretty fucking badass this one vampire like infected the whole plane but then it just turns into dog shit. Most of the 16 hoes aren't that attractive. This man is saying that that guy was not banging pretty girls.

He had a few stragglers in there. But overall, those chicks are pretty goddamn hot. Better than what that person's getting. This guy right here? He might be getting... You never know. But, I mean, some some of them like that Rachel Uchitel chick that shakes hot as fuck and then the other one that was on the reality TV she's pretty goddamn hot too he had some pretty pretty attractive

women in his stable what's Joey Diaz Twitter again mad mad flavor see this is one of the things that we can do you can can hit this text. You can add a new text. And so if anyone ever asks you, you can just type in. Oh, here we go. I'll tell you. Follow. And Red Band. I don't even have a thousand yet.

You don't? No. I never pimp my Twitter. Oh, yeah. You guys got to follow Red Band. And then you can shrink the size and right below.

Font size right here? Yeah. If you just drag the thing left and right. There we go. And then you can move the box, like maybe move it to the top or something. That's wherever the location is, or the bottom. It doesn't want to move. you just click on the box and

then drag it and I do the other way wouldn't do it really hit position and then just drag won't let me know that black box I know it won't let me grab. Oh, there we go. You son of a bitch. Son of a fucking bitch. You son of a bitch. All right. We're golden. News radio or Fear Factor? Which show is more disgusting to work on? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Fear Factor, for sure.

But Fear Factor paid more money. But news radio was way more fun. News radio was, uh... News radio was like a privilege. You know, I was like... The whole time I was doing it, I was like, I can't even believe. First of all, I couldn't believe

that I was on a TV show. I didn't really do much acting before that. I acted on one other sitcom that I got from doing stand-up comedy. In 1994, I'd only been doing comedy six years. I was still pretty raw as a comedian. Then all of a sudden, I'm on this fucking TV show I was like whoa and then I'm on the show not only am I on a TV show I'm on a TV show with Phil Hartman I was like this is fucking

nuts you know and Dave Foley and Andy Dick I mean it's pretty incredible job but Fear Factor was just about getting paid, Getting that paper. You know what I'm saying? Shit, I didn't know what to say. Just like King Mo says, get that paper. Brittany Murphy thoughts. You know what, man? I don't have any thoughts until I find out what killed her. You know, I mean, everybody says that it's drugs. I don't know if it was drugs.

I don't think. The husband doesn't want to have an autopsy. Kind of strange, you know? Really strange. You know, that's kind of creepy. Especially since obviously they were going to do one anyways because it's kind of like, why did she die? Yeah, unless you killed her. I mean, why doesn't that guy want an autopsy?

If it was a murder case, then of course he would want an autopsy, right? He'd be like, how do you die of natural – the only time you die of natural causes when you're 32 years old is if you have like a serious health condition. Or if you take something that kills you, which is pretty natural. I've read that a lot of her close friends stopped hanging out with her when she got married to that guy because of him. So there's something with this guy. Well, I've had some friends that have had some serious drug problems in the past. I had a friend that died from drugs, my best friend, when I lived in New York. And he used to do heroin.

He used to do crack but mostly heroin and he had like manageable problems with coke and stuff like that until he got on heroin and heroin just fucking sealed his fate that shit that shit just gets in your blood it becomes a part of you i mean i've seen people jonesing for coke i've seen people jones for a lot of shit but there's something really weird about watching people jonesing for coke. I've seen people jones for a lot of shit, but there's something really weird about watching people jones for heroin. I mean, it's like they need water. Like, they're in the desert, and they need water. And when people get involved in this, and apparently that's what a lot of the Hollywood kids are doing.

A lot of them are doing fucking heroin. You know, I don't know what it's all about, but it's pretty spooky, man. Real alcoholics are pretty spooky, too. Like, when you wake up and you're 90, the first thing you drink is a beer, like, at noon. Like, ugh. Yeah.

I've met a lot of alcoholics. I know a lot of alcoholics. I know a lot of functioning alcoholics, and I know a lot of people that are just, you know, just flat-out drunks, especially comics. I've known a lot of comics that have had real alcohol problems because they get free booze, and they're out in clubs every night, you know, just flat out drunks, especially comics. You know, I've done a lot of comics that have had real alcohol problems because they get free booze

and they're out in clubs every night and, you know, alcohol gives you a liquid courage and if you're performing every night, you might be drinking every night. If you're drinking every night, you're going to have a fucking problem.

Eventually, that shit's going to grab you. Conspiracy theories are only theories until proven fact. Yeah, well, they, there are real conspiracies. Most conspiracy theories are only theories until proven fact yeah well they there are real conspiracies most conspiracy theories are stupid because people want to find the mystery shit they want to find bigfoot you know when meanwhile there's a bunch of real live animals that are way more interesting than bigfoot if bigfoot if we found bigfoot bigfoot would be in a fucking cage

right next to the monkeys at the zoo. If we found them, if we really caught them, they would be like, look, there's a big ape. You know, we got the short ape. There's a big, there's a big 10 foot tall ape. Nobody would give a shit. But like killer whales, if killer whales didn't exist and there was some animal that people talked about in legend that was as smart as people, lived in the ocean, but breathed air and had to come up for air and doesn't eat human beings, saves human beings, but kills everything else, including great white sharks, a super intelligent being that's gigantic and murderous and runs the ocean. People would say, fuck that. That's crazy. That's not, that's not real. That can't be real, but it is real. We just know it's real. And because of the fact that we know it's

real, it's not as interesting to people. People love mysteries. We love't be real. But it is real. We just know it's real. And because of the fact that we know it's real, it's not as interesting to people. People love mysteries. We love discovering new shit. Like the Loch Ness Monster. Loch Ness Monster doesn't do shit. It doesn't kill anybody. It doesn't do anything. Every now and then it pokes its head out of the water. And everybody's like, whoa, I saw it! And everybody gets crazy. You know, meanwhile, there's

fucking crocodiles that are real. They're alive. They're gigantic. They're like fucking 30 feet long. they can hold their breath underwater for like hours at a time they don't have to eat for a year I mean crocodiles are fucking crazy they're literally dinosaurs that are still alive today they were the exactly the same way as they are now hundreds of millions of years ago nobody gives a fuck everybody's looking for the Loch Ness Monster you know there's something that people really really get into when it comes to conspiracies.

You know, and I've been guilty of it myself. You know, like, I used to really be into UFOs and all kinds of stuff like that. Until I kind of realized, like, what I'm into is the unknown. What I'm into is, like, somehow or another is if there's something that's unknown and I figure it out and I find it and I know it's proven and true, then somehow or another you gain something from that. I guess you do to a certain extent if you can really prove it, but mostly what it is is this weird desire that human beings have for things to prove things. So it's a very weird thing.

Conspiracy theory is like everybody's always looking for all sorts of conspiracies that aren't real. I know this also from working. I've had people working with the UFC. People are always talking about the UFC wants this, and Joe Rogan said that because the UFC told him to say it. The UFC never tells me to say shit. They literally never tell me what to say. My job's the craziest job ever. I'm literally the guy who speaks for this multi-hundred million dollar sports company.

And nobody tells me what to do. I show up and they tell me what the fights are. And I just do it. I try to be professional as possible. I try not to swear. Occasionally, you know, I'll slip up with that. But I'm trying not to swear. But all I'm trying to do is do commentary on the fights.

The only thing they've ever told me what to do is when they were trying to buy Pride. And Pride fucked them over. And there's this big thing going on back and forth. They said, please don't mention Pride by name. You can mention all the fighters, but don't mention Pride by name because they didn't want to give advertisement to that organization. Which totally is legitimate. Totally makes sense to me. But they don't tell me, hype this guy up, talk about that guy, don't mention this guy's name and make sure you tell everybody this guy this is the guy we want to win there's none of that there's none of that zero so i know that's a conspiracy that people think is real that's not real i know i know there's a there's a lot of other ones that people think it's real but there's

ones that are real you know chemtrails are the ones that i've recently turned on yes that whole thing you talked about the you know the air. Yeah there's a lot of people that would look at those things in the sky and go what is that? What are they doing? Well I talked to a pilot and I asked a pilot about it and he gave me a very simple explanation about how water going through those jets those jet engines at a certain altitude with certain you know weather conditions certain moisture probably has like humidity yeah humidity there's a barometric pressure there's all sorts of factors but if it's the right factors

there's enough enough water in it it'll create clouds like literally jets create clouds so all these people like man they're making clouds well that's what happens when jets fly through the fucking air like the idea that they would be spraying cities, poisoning people, it's like, don't they live on the ground too? Right. They're spraying themselves. They're spraying their families and stuff. They have shots. They're taking shots so that they don't get...

Not to say that they don't experiment with weather, but the majority of the lines you see in the air definitely... There's legitimate concerns about, like, that HAARP program, where they're fucking doing things to the ionosphere. And, you know, there's for sure they're experimenting with weather because we know that China has successfully created rain.

You know, they've done successful weather operations. So there are absolutely real conspiracies, but there's a lot of goofy ones, man. And the problem is it's very difficult for people to, once they made a decision about one something like JFK you know Oswald acted alone and people just get that in their head Oswald acted alone it's very difficult for them to look at contrary evidence and take it into consideration like they it's almost like there's a competition going on they want

their side to be right and people have a real hard time our friend that we were talking about the chemtrails didn't want to believe we're having an argument with him while saying listen man you don't know like you say the research that i've done i'm like you're watching youtube clips is that what constitutes research these days you know and he was like convinced that chemtrails are real and i'm like that doesn't they make no sense and the other thing the pilot had that has was a good point was like he's a pilot he's like believe me man pilots would be talking about it right it wouldn't be like something that's that easy you can just hire a guy to fucking spray every city in the world every day of the week and they're going to keep their mouth shut plus all these

reporters that are like getting pissed off at like oil businesses for ripping off customers what if that you were getting sprayed with poison wouldn't that reporter be crazy yeah research reporter you know it reporter? It's silly. I think chemtrails are a silly one. Not to say they haven't sprayed people before. Not to say that there haven't been some experiments where they've sprayed

certain bacteria or certain colds over an area to see if they can get people sick. Why not? We know there's a thing called Operation Midnight Climax. In the 1950s, the CIA ran fucking brothels. They ran whorehouses in

New York and San Francisco. They ran these things, and what they did was they ran the whorehouse so they can do LSD experiments on people. They unknowingly gave these John's Acid. These poor guys would go in there just to try to know their hard-earned money You know they probably you know didn't even have much pay just whatever they had to get their dick sucked

And they're getting dosed with acid freaking the fuck out probably already feeling super guilty Probably half of them were married And they just cheat on their wives and they felt guilty about that and then they're dosed up with acid and dealing with the reality Of the situation we know the CIA did. This is information that was released in the Freedom of Information Act. You look it up, Google it, it's pretty interesting. It's called Operation Midnight Climax. And it's just one of many experiments that the CIA did unknowingly on American citizens, taxpayers. And they've done it forever and that's how they do business and guaranteed that if they did this back in 1950 they're doing something like it now it's not like they changed

it's not like these all these like conspiracies all these things that the government's done like operation northwoods operation northwoods was the thing that they proposed in the 1960s 1962 and this was signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff and then vetoed by Kennedy what it was was they were trying to get people enthusiastic about a war against Cuba so they were planning on blowing up American ships like real ships they were gonna have mock mock plane crashes where they're gonna blow up drones in the air and they were gonna blame it on the Cubans they were gonna say that all these people died and they were going to take the passengers

and put them under false aliases and have pilots under false aliases and that pilot was going to give may days and say he got shot down. Look that up too. It's really interesting. It's called Operation Northwoods. And this was a real plan that they had drafted in the 1960s that the Department of Defense drafted up and the Joint Chiefs of Staff signed and Kennedy vetoed it. And Kennedy was like, you guys are fucking crazy. Like

what are you doing? Like you're going to fake attacks in order to get people to want to go to war with Cuba. And that's probably one of the reasons why they killed Kennedy, you know, who knows? But this is, these are real conspiracies. They're real. We know that there things are conspired on. The real problem with conspiracies is nobody wants to look stupid. And when you say that you believe something, like you believe in alien abduction, or you believe the government killed Kennedy, or you believe anything nutty, we didn't land on the moon. When you say you don't believe nutty things, people just automatically label you a kook.

Instead of looking at it and going okay what has the government done they really have dosed people with LSD with other knowledge they really set up poor houses the government the CIA did this really they really were faking attack they were planning on faking attacks on American civilians and blowing up American ships and blaming on the Cubans they really were gonna attack Guantanamo Bay? Attack soldiers. They were going to fucking shoot mortars into Guantanamo Bay.

They were going to kill American soldiers and blame it on the Cubans and get us to attack them. That's all real. So you got to keep your eyes open, you got to keep your mind open. And the problem with conspiracy theories is people choose one side or the other. Either there's a conspiracy which is ridiculous and I'm not believing this. Or they go, well, the conspiracies are real. And it's usually not that black or white.

It usually takes a lot of looking at before you get to the real truth. And the real truth is fucking sketchy. I mean, it's real hard to have information about a lot of things in this world. As much information as we have on the internet, there's still a lot of shit that you don't get. Like, Bill Maher twittered something today that I was like, this guy doesn't even, he's incorrect. This has all been disproven.

He twittered something, an anti-Christian thing about Mithra. And, you know, I was like, how funny is this? Bill Maher isn't even doing his research like he's twittering something that everybody says about Mithra yeah but it was disproven he gets his news by the paper here it is Mithra born 1225 12 disciples died rose on May on the third day performed miracles known as a lamb the way the truth the, the light, 600 years before Jesus Christ.

I see what his point is. His point is what he's trying to say. It's like, hey, there was no you know, there was no Jesus Christ. This fable, this myth has existed in many different forms. But the Mithra thing is totally wrong. Because the Mithra

thing, if you just Google Zeitgeist, the movie debunked, this guy gets really into the mythology behind, you know, in Zeitgeist, they talk about how Jesus really is basically the same story as all these different stories before. And one of them was Mithra. And, you know, so Bill Maher quoting on his thing that Mithra was born 1225, had 12 disciples. Well, if you go to this other site, this guy seems like a really intelligent guy. I don't know if he's right. But he's talking about, but he's researched it at least. He's talking about the myths and the legends of Mithra are numerous in account

and span several different cultures. He says, I ran into a brick wall of sorts trying to track down any of this information. I cannot find any evidence of his birthday being December 25th. The only dates that correspond to him are his festival on October 8th and another on September 12th through 16th, a cattle pairing festival October 12th through 16th. There's absolutely, this is an important part, there's absolutely no evidence anywhere that he had 12 disciples or 12 of anything for that matter. No Mithraist scholars seem to know about it. He was not born to a virgin, but rather out of solid rock. So, I mean, it's really interesting. People like, you know, there's not enough research of

information. People don't really look these there's not enough research of information. People don't really look these things up. They quote a little bit of something they saw on the internet. And that's the problem is there's no way you can have access to everything. There's no way you can know about everything. It's impossible. So there's going to be a lot of shit that you're talking about, you form an opinion on when you're really just talking out of your ass.

And that's where most people are when it comes to conspiracy theories you know with everything with everything people talk out of their ass and because people have a huge vested interest in being correct about things you know people hate being foolish they hate being the dumb one they hate being uninformed you know people love correcting people they love like your is you apostrophe re as in you are you know okay you're a fucking awesome dude because you spotted that guy meanwhile i do that all the time that's kind of that's kind of why i like the iphone how it always fucks up my texting and stuff like that because then people are starting to slowly less do it to me now because everyone's doing it. Right, right, right. Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura.

I haven't seen it. I haven't either. Brian didn't like it? It was all right. I don't know. Jesse Ventura is one of those dudes that thinks because he's a Navy SEAL or he's a former Navy SEAL that he has inside information. I'm a former Navy SEAL. That Opie and Anthony thing just really got to me

on both sides. Yeah, you were upset at Jim Norton. I was on both sides that got me upset. I thought they both handled it. It's hard having a fucking intelligent conversation at 7 o'clock in the morning, god damn it. Whenever I do those morning radio shows, I'm always like, what am I even talking about?

I'm always half out of it. Mumbling and shit. It's hard to wake the fuck up. It's like, you have to drink coffee if you're going to do one of those morning radio shows. You really can't go in sober. You gotta have a little bit of that and a cup of coffee. Bang. Mothra or Rodan? I was more of a Rodan fan.

I thought Mothra was kind of a faggy monster. Yeah, me too. Big stupid moth. That's a dumbass monster. Who cares about moths? Yeah, I mean, why not have a giant roach? People hate roaches. Roaches are scary as fuck. Why do you want to have a big stupid moth?

You don't. The Japanese had a bunch of crazy ass monsters. They still do. They still do those. You know they still do. Turtle. Remember that turtle? Godzilla. Is that Rodan? Rodan the turtle? Yeah. Yeah. Rodan's the turtle. Well, come on, man. A fucking turtle? Yeah. You know they still do the Godzilla movies with the people in the costumes?

They still make those? I heard they still make them in Japan. We have no confirmation. See, this is another thing. That's what I heard. We're talking out of our ass. We don't really have... We've done no research.

No? Sick. Isn't that what that means? What does sick mean? What happens to the Iceman now? You know, I don't know, man. I don't know. If I type on this, is this going to go to my Twitter? Uh-huh, it's going to tweet.

Okay, so how do I tell people to follow us on this thing? See, you can add new chat boxes. Oh, you mean on Twitter? Yeah, I'm going to post this on Twitter to get people to follow us. When you post on here, it automatically makes the link. It does? Yeah, see how everyone has this link your link underneath it. Is that cool? Okay. What is this heyjoerogan.net? What is that? That's just what you don't have to put heyjoerogan.net. Okay. You can erase all that. Okay. Yeah that's for other people so they don't get nervous.

When you put sick in like commas or in, does that mean kind of or like approximately? Excuse me? When people write sick, S-I-C. Oh, spelling incorrect. Oh. It's when someone uses. Oh, spelling incorrect. Oh. It's when someone uses poor grammar or poor spelling. All this time I thought it meant sick. How high am I right now?

One to ten? Four? Probably like a four. Yeah, I'm not that high at all. Not very high. There's 230 of you motherfuckers in here right now. We're rolling strong, bitches. 230.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to all of you. All right. What else? I'm a fan of Jeet Kune Do. I'm a fan of Bruce Lee. I'm a fan of his idea. His idea to add all the martial arts. I mean, he was really the original mixed martial artist.

When I started out as a kid, I did did karate and then i started doing taekwondo and each one of those disciplines karate and taekwondo wanted you to think that their style was the best style the end all be all style karate they didn't want you training with taekwondo people taekwondo people they didn't want you training with karate people know, judo people didn't want you training with Kung Fu people. It was like everybody was like really attached to their style. So really, Bruce Lee and Jeet Kune Do, that's the original mixed martial art. That's the original guy to look at, you know, all the different systems and take what's useful from each one.

I mean, Bruce Lee was a genius when it came to martial arts, way, way, way, way ahead of his time. he was a genius when it came to martial arts. Way, way, way ahead of his time. I like this because the questions are slower and it twitters them. Yeah, this is pretty cool. This is the first time I've done this. Like I said, I'm always threatening to do this,

but we're doing it now, you motherfuckers. Subverter. Talk more about Hunter S. Thompson. I love that feeling where the truth just hits you yeah I know Thompson was a fucking genius he was a he was one of the very few dudes that really captured the the angst of the 60s and the 70s the Nixon era and you know the he was a part of the acid culture of the 60s he was a part of the culture like the the San Francisco Hate Ashbury movement where it's like everybody was doing acid. All these people were like in good acid.

So all these people were like really coming together and they were really like releasing their egos and their identity and kind of like losing themselves in a movement. And then this hippie movement of the 60s, which seems like really stupid now. We look at it and it's like, God, look at these idiots with their long hair and their stupid clothes but what they were doing was they were they were radically departing from the previous culture i mean the difference between the 50s and the 60s is fucking gigantic the difference between like buddy holly and jimmy hendrix is like you know, I mean, that's another world. I mean, that's not like a 10-year evolution. That's an evolution that would have taken hundreds or maybe not even gotten there at all.

It's almost like they needed the drugs. They needed acid and mushrooms and pot and peyote. They needed all that shit and heroin to launch themselves from one frequency to the next one. And the 60s were a totally different frequency when it came to music, when it came to culture. And that set the stage for what happened in the 70s and the 80s. And with a really crappy music that came from the 80s and some of it in the 70s, but definitely the 80s. Like what that is, is like this consciousness, this incredible music where these people were like really like tuning into the art of it in the 60s. Like more 60s music is like classic fucking shit, you know, that you hear today and you go, God damn, that's a good song.

It's like they they really figured out how to tap into the real shit you know the real energy that makes that that makes art interesting that makes art resonate and i think they did it with drugs and i think that the the the decline in the 70s and certainly in the 80s was because this was like a void left where this tuning in this connection to the real pure source was gone whatever frequency they had nailed in the 60s

the echoes of it had died down by the time the 80s hit I think Hunter S. Thompson had a fucking brilliant story that he wrote a brilliant story that he wrote, a brilliant, like, piece that he wrote. The wave, the talking about how the 60s was like a wave. And that when the 60s ended, you could see where the wave broke back, like where they thought that people could be. Like where they saw the true potential of humanity of the

United States of the human race in general, and saw just roll back and go back to where it was. And that's what it was between the 60s and the 70s. You know, and he nailed that shit better than anybody. Hunter S. Thompson's words today still when you look at like, especially what was going on with the Bush administration, and it was just like the clearest evidence ever of massive amounts of corruption in government where you know it's i mean they they got us into a war that made no fucking sense i mean and it was obvious like across the board the internet was you know up information was being you know very easily transferred back and forth and yet it still managed to go through and the way he felt about the nixon, I mean you literally could substitute Nixon for Bush and then insert most of the shit that he said into the early 2000s.

Raw sound, does it sound shitty? What do you think about doing a radio show of my own? I would love to do a radio show. The only problem is I don't think anybody wants to pay me to do a radio show. I might have to do a radio show like this because right now, I mean, Adam Carolla has a suite set up where he does podcasts and he gets a lot of people to listen to it. And that might be the way to go because satellite radio is struggling financially and some people make money from it. Obviously Howard Stern makes a lot of money from it and I think Opie and Anthony make good money from it.

But they don't want to pay anybody else. They're not making money. So they don't have the money to give out. So I think if I'm going to do any sort of – let me turn that up. Does it work? Is that any better? Is that louder, anybody? If I'm going to do any sort of a podcast or something like that, it's going to be like this.

It's going to be like this. And I saw Soulja Boy do it, so I was like, yeah. Do you remember that video of Soulja Boy and the guy in the background with his gold necklace? Yeah. Yeah, man. Soulja Boy is fascinating to me. If you don't know Soulja Boy, he's a rapper, a very young fellow who's wildly successful. Made millions and millions of dollars.

And he's tattooed his entire body in the course of a few months. All the way up his neck and his face is tattooed and his sleeves and his chest and everything. I mean, he just tattooed the fuck out of himself with writing and shit, really bad artwork. Really, really interesting. I guess he likes it it just went crazy how many times a day do you think he makes it rain

makes it rain I think he does it all day he's a multi multi multi millionaire and he's only like 19 years old and when he became rich and famous

he was only like 17 he's an interesting little study right there when Kimbo says all day what does it mean all day

that's what it means making it rain all day no it doesn't mean making it rain when Kimbo says all day What does it mean? All day That's what it means Making it rain all day? No It doesn't mean making it rain When Kimbo says all day Yeah what's it mean? When Kimbo says all day It means he's fucking dudes up

All day This is how we do All day When he holds up them dukes I got some pretty fucking sweet Kimbo Slice t-shirts That I just got From my buddies at Tap Out

Really? Yeah They're upstairs though Show me your drawings My drawings I can actually put those online Dude that thank you my drawings actually put those on the line it's pretty bad I should put those he just found his old drawings from when he was younger and they are amazing it's some shit that I I made when I was a little kid when I was well not a little kid I was like 18 let me

say to it pick oh I can choose a picture from here. I'll put it up in my Twitter. Word. I was pretty blown away. He's really good at drawing. These two drawings he did are just amazing. I mean, I thought I was good back in the day, but he blows me out of the water back in the day.

Because I never used a technical pen. Technical pens are awesome. Yeah, that seems pretty sweet. Yeah, you would love it. When I first started out, when I was a kid, I was really into comic books. I wanted to be a comic book artist. Big Bad Wolf 3. Oh, cool. You already scanned it? Yeah. Scanned it? Upload the tweet photo. It's uploading. When I was, this might fuck everything up. My gay ass

internet service. It's so slow. Yeah, look how slow this is. Because this is a big ass picture. It's like three megs. Two megs a second. Charter. Yeah, I got to switch. You tweet stuff to you or use the chat.

Oh, tweet stuff to me, man. Don't. Too many people chats too fast. Too many people chats. That shit ain't. That shit ain't going to work. Tracy Lee just sent me a text message. You guys know Tracy Lee?

From. Dana was in the chat. You missed it. Oh, Dana was in the chat? How's Dana in it? I don't even know how to chat. That's not a real Dana. She thinks it's a real Dana. No. Why do you think it's Dana was in the chat how's Dana in it I don't know that's not a real Dana she thinks it's a real Dana no why do you think it's a real Dana how dare you be dumb

welcome to the internet can you ask cheeseburger you know what can I ask cheeseburger Dana's got no fucking time to be in my goddamn chat let's say you're Obama let's have a she says I'm in the chat all right Tracy I got you right here Tracy I'm in the chat. All right, Tracy. I got you right here, Tracy. I'm in the chat, too. The chat, too. And that wasn't Dana, you dumb bitch. Who's Tracy Lee? She's the combat lifestyle photographer. Yeah.

This is the best phone of all time. The iPhone, ladies and gentlemen. You really can't fuck with it. We've tried every other phone. I'm a technical fucking geek. I'm a nerd. I love phones. But there's no phone that can fuck with the iPhone.

There's no network that can fuck with Verizon, though. And that's the real goddamn problem. So I don't use the iPhone as my main phone. I mostly use the iPhone these days as like an internet device. I use it as like a little tin, a mini laptop and shit. But for my phone, I use one of these BlackBerry Storm 2s, which as a phone is not nearly as good. it's kind of funky the typing on it's not bad the storm two is definitely better than the storm one but man fucking the network is a hundred times better the the verizon network when i had at&t like when i would drive to jujitsu at night i drive the same the same way, and I got to go through Hollywood, and my shit would drop out three times on the way to Hollywood. Three fucking times in 25, 30 miles, whatever it is.

Three times the shit would drop out. With Verizon, straight through. Never drops out. It doesn't drop out anywhere. I get better reception inside buildings. It's just better reception, period. And it's not like a little bit better. It's like several times better.

It's like the amount of drop-offs that I get with Verizon are so tiny in comparison to the AT&T ones. AT&T, they just got fucked by that iPhone. That iPhone just overloaded their network, overloaded the shit out of it. And the things, they just drop off all the time. You know what, though? Something that AT&T has been pushing lately, and I agree, is not being able to use your data network while you're on the phone. Verizon, when you're on the phone, you can't check your email

and get new email or go on Twitter and get new Twitters while you're on the phone. You can't use your data and your phone together at the same time. Did you know that? No, I didn't know that. That's huge. That's bigger than a drop call once in a while, I think. Yeah, that is bigger. You'd have no idea what I'm talking about.

No, data and not being able to use data and talk at the same time. Yeah, because what if you're on the phone? You can't get emails while you're on the phone. Yeah, that's gay. And Verizon can't fix that with their current network. Yeah, that's gay. That's why they had that thing

where they show that you can get on the phone and go on the apps. Look, but... That sucks. It does suck, but I'll take being able to use the phone over that. I like using the phone.

I like... When I'm driving, I like using the phone. I like, when I'm driving, I get my business done. You know what I'm saying? I drive, I have to get shit done and I have to talk to people and sometimes I have conference calls, sometimes I do interviews

while I'm driving my car. You know? But you know like, you will call me up and you'll say something like, what's that, how do you do this or something? Like I'm on the phone,

hold on, I can't go on my, you can't do anything. That's weak, yeah. It is weak, but I'll take that and have a signal. I'll take not being able to do both at the same time and have a strong signal. Right.

I'll take that. And that's because the CDMA can't handle two streams at the same time. Right, right. Well, Verizon actually uses older technology. ATD actually has a newer technology, which is Verizon's kind of in trouble. They have a slower network. It can't handle those two things at once. Yeah, but it still works better.

I'll still take it. Right. 4G isn't out yet here. Somebody wrote, Soulja Boy is a fucking douche. Listen, do you think you would be any better if you were 19 years old? He's worth like millions of dollars. He is a douche on the internet, though. Where he's like showing his money and stuff. He's a 19-year-old He's worth like millions of dollars. He is a douche on the internet though. Where he's like showing his money

and stuff. He's a 19 year old kid that's worth millions of dollars. Yeah. Like literally. Oh yeah, you can't... We would both be... I would be retarded if I was that rich when I was 19. Why can't they protect Jonas? Because the Jonas Brothers are hypnotized by Walt Disney. Yes. They drank the Disney Kool-Aid.

Yep. They don't even get pussy. What's the point in being rich and famous if you're not even getting laid? Right? It's ridiculous. We got rock stars that don't fuck. They fuck. They fuck now when they get married. Miss Tracy Lee's in here.

She says the sound is fine. Everybody that's in that chat, get the fuck out of there. Because I'm not paying attention to that shit. Tweet it. Tweet it, you dirty bitches. How come the tweet isn't updating you're getting too many tweets per hour really probably probably because this thing's open you see it's two two programs are taking your apis okay all right i'm gonna shut this one off i would shut that one all right i'm shutting tweet deck off bye tweet deck all right let's i'm just trying to optimize here because like i told you guys i I would shut that one down. Alright, I'm shutting TweetDeck off. Bye, TweetDeck.

Alright, I'm just trying to optimize here because like I told you guys, I got a terrible internet connection. But I'm not getting my goddamn Twitters, so let me update this. Bitch, right here. Here we go. Alright. You know what?

Once you get your updated internet, we'll get you an HD camera too. The Pope got laid out by a crazy woman. I think it was a Pope. I think it was some crazy chick tried to attack the Pope. But some other dude who was in government

got hit in the face with a statue in Italy. What is this? They put an ad in front of us? They put advertising. What the fuck? It's the newest thing. They put some urban show on the bar. When are we advertising? This is because I was talking about Soulja Boy.

Is that really Soulja Boy? No, Soulja Boy's homies. They're just chilling. Look at all my shit. Look at all my money. Look at all my new sneakers. Even the bottom of my sneakers is clean. Yeah, that's bullshit.

It's bullshit. They're advertising. Please, everybody, click close on that advertisement, fucking goddamn heathens. Show where the close button is. It's right here. It's the upper lower upper left corner. What? If you see that, yeah, that's right.

Just close that. Close that shit. Fucking advertisement. That's one bad thing about Ustream, because I don't remember Justin just close that. Close that shit. Fucking advertisement. That's one bad thing about Ustream. Because I don't remember Justin TV having that. Do they? I don't know. Justin TV is about to get in trouble with... Justin TV is getting in trouble with something?

They were mentioning that UFC... Yeah, they're in trouble. Well, it's obvious if you have a thousand... Justin TV is supposedly working with the people that are owning the copyright material. Wouldn't it be easy if you noticed that one of your chat rooms went from zero to 2,000 in like a second? Delete. Delete. Wow. Like I said, you can't fight the internet.

People are going to figure out a way to put things online. I thought that was the real problem, was that people were taking a copy of it after the event and then uploading it to Torrents. But that's not what the problem is. The problem is streaming. The problem is if you have any streaming, you're going to have pirated streaming.

Yeah, you can't stop that. I don't think you can stop it. Maybe you can. Maybe you can stop it by cutting back on those sites would probably stop it substantially, but that's gonna kill those sites. You know, it's gonna kill Ustream. It's gonna kill JustinTV. It's gonna kill those sites like this where you can just stream

anything. You motherfuckers. Wow, 364 people. This is like a packed comedy club, ladies and gentlemen. Weird. It's nuts. Alright, let's take some questions here, you dirty bitches. Wow, there's a lot of goddamn... What of this marijuana and it increasing

brain cells? You know, I don't know if it increases brain cells. There's been some research that suggests that, and it suggests that it also slows down the progression of Alzheimer's. I don't know. It does a lot of good for you, though. That's what people need to understand. There's a lot of drugs that are terrible for you.

Marijuana's not one of them. Marijuana does a lot of good things for you. It calms you down. It relaxes you. It makes you take things. I just got a text from Bruce Buffer. Powerful. It makes you consider other options.

It makes you consider other possibilities. It makes you consider other possibilities. It makes you think about yourself more. It makes you think about whether or not you're being a douchebag. Whether or not you're behaving the right way. Marijuana's good for you. Does it give you extra brain cells? I don't know. I was going to write...

The cover of my Shiny Happy Jihad, the first name for that CD was going to be Weed Made Me Smarter. I was going to call it that, but I decided that was kind of like... That sentence doesn't sound smart, though, for some reason. Weed Made Me Smarter? Yeah. It's not supposed to be a correct sentence. It's supposed to be funny and silly.

I think that I'm going to do a book, though, called Weed Made Me Smarter. I think that's going to be the name of the book. You know, because that's like a good name for a book. That's like a... It grabs you. That's something that would grab you. You'd want to check it out. Did I hear about Rick Simpson oil?

Yeah, it's like hemp that cures cancer or some shit. Shoot me off the phone. Ha ha, Dan Quampley. What video games are my favorite of all time Quake I used to have a huge problem that's why I got a T1 line installed in my house

I used to play Quake every day 8 hours a day did you watch that video I posted where they go into the airport and just start spraying people yeah it's amazing

what game is that Call of Duty whatever the new one the new one I've never played Call of Duty I don't want to get addicted man I got problems I get addicted to everything i get addicted to pool i used to play pool eight

hours a day more even sometimes i used to get addicted to video games that's why i'm scared of golf i've never played golf i'm terrified of that shit because i know dudes who play golf they can't they sit around all day and practice fake swinging it's they get addicted you know and i get very badly addicted to games so i try to leave my addictions to things that benefit me now like so like pool i like pool i don't play as much as i used to i just fuck around with it but like jujitsu and stand-up comedy i try to be more i try to be addicted to things that are um beneficial to me instead of things that are just gonna to eat up all my day, which is what pool used to be for me and what video games used to be for me. I used to have real fucking problems.

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed the drawing. I Twittered a drawing that I made when I was 18 or 19 years old. I used to want to be a comic book artist. Red Dragons. Indeed. Red Dragons. Have you seen the new preview

for the new Karate Kid movie? No, I have not. It's Black Karate Kid. They're redoing the Karate Kid, but the kid's black, and I think it's Will Smith's kid. Yeah, it's Will Smith's kid. I think that's awesome.

That's crazy. Karate's making a comeback, man. Lyoto Machida. Yeah, but don't fuck with the Karate Kid, man. Marijuana would bring California out of bankruptcy. You really think so? Don't fuck with the Karate Kid. You say that like the Karate Kid was some awesome movie.

Dude, it's a childhood memory. They fucked up G.I. Joe. They fucked up Transformers. Was G.I. Joe a movie? Was G.I. Joe a movie? Yes, and it was the worst movie ever. No, but it was made before that movie. What was it before?

It was a cartoon series. Cartoons. Right. They didn't really fuck it up though. They just made a bad movie. It was horrible though. Really? It was awful.

How fast could BJ Penn beat Aoki? Man, I don't know if there's anybody at 155 that can fuck a BJ Penn now. Now that BJ's taking everything like super serious and training like a dedicated athlete, he's a destroyer. At 155 they can fuck a BJ Penn now. Now that BJ's taking everything super serious and training like a dedicated athlete, he's a destroyer.

At 155, there's nobody that's even close to him. I mean, no one's even in his frequency. He's in the matrix right now. There's certain dudes that get to a certain point with confidence, with experience, with skill, technique, and then you add discipline and conditioning to that.

They get to this crazy place that very few people can reach, this crazy high air. And that's where BJ Penn's at right now, right? Anderson Silva, too. He's another one. He's just in this air that nobody can fuck with that. That's what's good about The Ultimate Fighter, though, because it's kind of bringing new people in. You've got unknown people, you know?

Yeah, but there's such a gigantic gap between these guys that have fought in these smaller organizations and the guys at the top of the food chain. And you see, like, with Fedor Emelianenko, like, it takes so many years for a guy to become, like, the Fedor of today. And Anderson Silva's a perfect example of that. Like, Anderson Silva, when he's fighting in Pride, I mean, he got submitted by Rio Chonan. Takashi got him in a mounted triangle, these dudes were beating

him, dudes were submitting him, you know, I mean, he knocked out Carlos Nunez, but he just didn't look like the Anderson Silva of today, and he had to have those fights, he had to have those losses, he had to get better, he had to rise, you know, he had to really get his shit together, really focus on his jiu-jitsu, and really become a black belt on the ground. So he had this full package so that he was totally confident in throwing his strikes because he didn't worry at all about being on the ground. And that's the Anderson Silva that you have now, this like fully complete fighter. But we had to see him evolve. It took a long time for him

to become the guy that he is today. And that's what, you know, it takes a long time to make like a full, complete mixed martial artist. And these guys today, the competition is staggering. There's so many fighters now. There's so many different organizations, so many fighters, and so many guys are good. It's so hard to advance and to make it to the very top of the food chain in today's mixed martial arts world. There's so much fucking competition. It's amazing. I mean, when I first started doing the UFC, I first started

working for them in 1997. And it was tiny. We did the first show in Dothan, Alabama. There was nobody there. I mean, there was like a thousand people or something like that, and it's because the tickets were really cheap, and because people came to see a fucking freak show. There was nobody there that knew when

someone was passing the guard and nobody passed the guard back then either. Nobody knew what the fuck was going on. Nobody knew that leg kicks were really bad for you, that it would fuck your legs up. People would see a guy kicking somebody in the legs like, why is he doing that? Back then, you were allowed to punch people in the balls. You were allowed to pull hair. You were allowed to pull on clothes.

It was crazy in the early days to what it you were able to pull hair. You were able to pull on clothes. Crazy, the early days, to what it is now. It's really fucking amazing. Your face is amazing. Your fucking face is amazing. Don Frye retired from MMA. Don Frye is a fucking real man that belongs in a movie. They should make a movie

out of Don Frye. His fucking mustache alone is epic. Don Frye is a real man, ladies and gentlemen. A real goddamn man, 372 viewers. I bet you this shit's fine. They're saying this sounds good, but I think this sounds better when we've got it close. I think it just needs to point towards your face. Oh, really? I have it towards your fucking face. Your face is pointing towards your face.

towards your face. Oh, really? I have it towards your fucking face. Your face is pointing towards your face. WhereToFloat.com Is that a website? WhereToFloat.com

If you Google WhereToFloat, I know you can, if you want to know about flotation tanks, these are, what this guy's asking about is a thing called

a sensory deprivation tank. And what that is, is there's a tank filled with water. If you haven't heard about this before, you can Google it and there's videos that we made that you's a tank filled with water. If you haven't heard about this before, you can Google it. And there's videos that we made that you can find online that Brian made.

If you see any of my videos from my website, and you go, wow, those are fucking really cool and creative. This guy makes them. That's Brian Reichel. He's a fucking video genius, bitches. Recognized. And we made a really cool one that explains the isolation tank. But what it is, is a tank of water that has 800 pounds of salt in it. And the water is heated to the same temperature as your skin.

And the salt makes you very buoyant. So you lie in the water and you float. And the fact that the water is heated to the same temperature as your skin, you don't feel it. So you're floating in this water. You don't really feel the water anymore because the water and the air and everything, it feels like one thing it feels like you're weightless and you're flying through space and when you close the door in this thing you're in total darkness you're in total silence your ears are underwater you don't hear anything and in the absence of any sensory input you don't hear anything you don't feel anything you don't see anything in the absence of all that your mind

has no distractions and your brain becomes supercharged and you start having vivid hallucinations and you start like, it's really like a psychedelic experience. You really start, you start like really like, like researching like your thoughts and getting to the heart of who you are, separate from culture, separate from language, separate from, you know, your experiences. You get down to who you are and then when you get to that once you get past that is when the hallucinations start because you kind of cease to exist as you define yourself as who you are by your job the car you drive the house you live in the family you have the friends you keep you define yourself by all

these different things but when when you're in that tank, all those things are gone. There's no outside world. There's just the mind. It's the mind untethered from the body. And when you're in that state, you kind of transverse. You kind of travel between this consciousness and this reality to another one. You travel outside of this world. And you travel to the world of the deep inner thoughts, you know, the deep inner connection between whatever the fuck this life is, you know,

the connection between your consciousness and the universe. And it gets pretty fucking crazy. I have one of those bitches in my basement. I do it all the time. Is it like a really great power nap? No, it's not like a really great power nap. Is it like a really great power nap? No, it's not like a really great power nap. It's like a really great mushroom trip. But the best thing about it is you can end it at any second. Anytime you want to end it, you just open up the door and you're stone cold sober. So you can be in this deep trance where you're, you know, you're, I've had really vivid, vivid

hallucinations in there where I felt like I was, like I had traveled down to the very atomic structure of human beings and gotten through the lowest point. And at that lowest point, as you get lower and lower and deeper and deeper, it became like another universe. And the idea in my head was that all of this life that we see, you know, subatomic particles to atoms to all these, like this, this progression of things getting bigger and bigger and bigger to humans, to countries, to continents, to planets, to planets, to galaxies, to galaxies, to, you know, to universes. And then all this idea that things just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Well, it's, it works infinitely in both directions.

And it was like I was taken on a trip through the whole experience from subatomic to atomic to planets to flying through space to space being subatomic to this new atom that exists and it's a part of new organisms that exist, that are part of a new ecosystem that exists, that's a part of a new planet, that's a part of new organisms that exist that are part of a new ecosystem that exists that's a part of a new planet that's part of a new galaxy that's part of a new universe and it goes on and on and on and i went through this whole thing like over and over again like multiple times and it was really fucking crazy it was a very very vivid and very realistic and very you know very life-changing the whole thing is like doing it a lot you You got to do the isolation tank a lot.

And you got to learn to relax. And you got to learn to give in to the experience. Because so many times when you're in there. You're thinking about things. And you're worrying about things. And you think about your bills. And your bullshit. And you know I'm going to lose weight.

And I got to do this. And all those thoughts distract you. It's like the state of mind that you can achieve in this isolation tank. It's very similar to the state of mind that you can achieve in this isolation tank. It's very similar to the state of mind that you can achieve from, you know, when monks go through, you know, decades and decades of intense meditation. Like they achieve the same type of state of mind, but you're achieving it like with no discipline. So it's hard to manage sometimes but if you can learn to manage it and if you learn to go in with the correct thought process and to approach it the right way and maybe meditate before you go in and calm yourself and put yourself in a good state of mind and know how to navigate the waters of

these experiences then you can get to the crazy part the crazy part is hard to get to but it's there we should ask them which sounds better and switch between the three. Okay. Okay, what sounds better? There's three settings to this microphone. This is one. What sounds better? This is setting one.

Ready? Hi, my name is Joe Rogan. Okay. Two. This is setting two. This is setting two. Hi, my name is Joe Rogan. Is this better?

Does this sound better to you? Or setting three. Hi, my name is Joe Rogan is this better does this sound better to you or setting three hi my name is Joe Rogan does this sound better to you which sound which one sounds better ladies and gentlemen please tweet now you're gonna annoy the fuck out of people people that have like they get your phone messages like sometimes I'll tweet like I'll get baked and I watch watch the steven seagal show and i'll tweet way too much right and i get a lot of angry tweets from people it's annoying it's annoying if you only follow like below 100 people or something that's why i start falling more and make it more just like a chat room almost you're yeah i have thousands

of people following them i just hate when people replied like every single person that's ever written them ever wrote them ever, you know Yeah, that's replies. That's a problem One sounds best three you dick three you dick? I'm a dick? One and three are close. Two sucks. One and three are close. Three is louder, but one seems better quality. So it seems one, three, then two.

Okay, it seems like one is the one. One, one, one, three. Someone yelled out. One, one, one for sure. Most people are saying it's a tie between one and three, so let's go with one. All right. All right, we're going to go with one.

Fuck you and your threes. Whoa. Strong words. Very strong words. How's your Melrose New Year's show going? Oh, yeah. I'm going to be at the Melrose Improv, if anybody's in L.A. The Improv on Melrose. I'm going to be there on New Year's Eve.

Two shows. I think it's eight and ten. Are you sure it's two shows? Pretty sure. I heard one show, and then just on Improv's website, they have an early time that you can go to eat dinner. Really? It looks like a second show, but it's not really two shows.

Oh, that's a problem because that bitch is going to sell out quick. Yeah. And then Vegas the following day at the House of Blues? Yes. The following day, January 1st, House of Blues. Vegas. Vegas, bitches. And then after that, Washington, D.C.,

January, I think, 7th or something like that. I don't know. Yeah. Is that after? I don't know. Upcoming shows. This fucking thing sucks.

The improv's website is dog shit. See, Joe Rogan dinner, 10 p.m. And then 10.01, Joe Rogan show. Huh. So it's just saying that you buy... It says there's only one show.m. and in 1001 Joe Rogan show huh so you did it's just saying that you says it says there's only one show yeah I think there is only one show I only have it on your website is one one show 10 p.m. ooh this is gonna be a

disaster yeah okay crazy yeah if you want to go to the improv you got to go now I do think so that is it so try to buy a ticket right now oh wait try to buy a ticket right there oh there, wait. I'm trying to buy a ticket right there. Oh, there's still tickets. Okay. You can still buy tickets, but get them quick because that bitch is going to sell out. Maybe we'll add an 8 o'clock show. I don't want anybody to get shut out.

And sometimes 8 o'clock is the move. You go there, have a show, have a good time, get your freak on, have a couple laughs, and then go hide when it comes midnight so you don't get bullets dropping on your fucking head. I'm one of the douchebags out here. I like to fire guns in the air and get crazy. Woo! I can handle it. And they drink and drive, and it's very dangerous. I got some hilarious video of last New Year's there of these old ladies dancing and stuff. Oh, yeah, that's right.

I wish we had that right now. We could stream it. We could stream it, right? I'm going to upgrade this internet. This weak-ass internet I got here. Because then once I'll bring my laptop and then I'll start to be able to just send you videos and stuff like that. We're going to set it up like a goddamn

fucking TV studio in here, bitches. 358 viewers. I'm losing viewers. It must be boring answer some questions here add a late show in Vegas um I don't think so man late shows in Vegas are a nightmare house of blues is pretty big already yeah the house of blues is a good size anyway I won't the one thing that I won't do anymore is I will I used to do the house of blues and i had most of the people were seated but then there was a little standing room in the back but the problem is that standing room by the bar just becomes a bar and

people just start talking and it becomes a fucking nightmare so no more shows i'm not doing any more shows ever anywhere where people have to stand out while they're watching the show and the reason being is because i went to see doug stanhope when he was in la and we went to see him while they're watching the show. And the reason being is because I went to see Doug Stanhope when he was in LA. And we went to see him and we were standing in the back of the room. He did a standing room only show. And it's like, after like an hour, your fucking back hurts, your neck starts

bothering you. It's not comfortable to stand up and watch a show. I always figured, because I'm on stage standing for an hour, it's no big deal. You can stand for an hour and a half and talk on stage and it doesn't feel it's not a problem But standing still watching someone is a big difference. It's terrible Do you remember like the last half of that show because I was focused on my feet the whole time Yeah, it's a terrible feeling and what's weird is I talked to somebody in, Texas

They walked out of the show because it was standing room only at Doug's show. And they just walked out. They were like, we couldn't take it anymore. Yeah, I hate it. So I'm not doing it anymore. And I'm having problems with this. Because I had a show booked in March at the Fillmore in New York City. And they said that the whole balcony had to be standing.

I'm like, fuck that, man. Give me less money. Let's see what we can. But they were like, we can make more money if people stand. I was like, fuck that, man. Give me less money. Let's see what we can. But they were like, you know, we can make more money if people stand. I was like, all right, you're done. And so I canceled that gig. And then the same thing happened in Houston. I was supposed to do the House of Blues and the same thing. They were like, well, you know, we can't, we need to have people standing in the back. And I had it booked. I don't know. My agents are not communicating this to the people or they're not paying attention.

It's going through too many people before it gets to the person that makes the decision, but they wanted to have people stand and I said, fuck that. So now I'm going to have to find a new gig in New York and a new gig in Houston. And I'm probably going to wind up doing the improv in Houston. I don't know. I'm thinking about that.

Maybe one of the clubs in New York City. If you go to Joe's Twitter or website that has his calendar on it, you just gain four people, though. So people like talking about standing. Yes. I've gotten more people now. Do you remember standing, waiting for a roller coaster,

and just standing like three hours for a roller coaster? It sucks. It lasts a minute. Yeah. Fucking terrible, man. Yeah. Run it like Tom Green. Yeah, tom green's got an awesome setup i went to tom green's house where i filmed uh his talk show there and he's got a fucking crazy setup man like giant servers and he's got wires big you know wires all throughout his

living room because like he's doing it like serious hardcore style and he's doing it or at least back then he was doing he's still doing it isn't it or is he yes is he straight pay-per-view now that he can't watch it for free at all now and we're right I think I think let's go to Tom Green live and see that is that the case ladies and gentlemen if it is I think that's a fucking mistake I think it is too that's a mistake maybe maybe it's the archives you have to be a member to watch that makes sense maybe we'll say we're going to the channel he calls it the channel I don't

know that's all about ready to receive stream oh oh he's doing stand-up comedy membership isn't that crazy? Questions about membership and subscription service. Okay, click here. No. That ain't it. Click here. Okay. Welcome to questions about support site. Membership.

Full access to award-winning collection of video. That's what it is. Behind the scenes. Can I cancel at any time? Yes. How much is it? $5.95 a month. Not bad. Good price. Good price. I wonder if he's making money doing that. $4.95 How much is it? $5.95 a month. Not bad.

Good price. Good price. I wonder if he's making money doing that. $4.95 would have been better. $4.95. How about just $5? Yeah. What's with this fucking five shit?

$4.95. That's stupid, man. That drives me crazy. Nick, I'll buy you a box. $5.99. Just tell me it's $6, you fuck. So do you open your presents on Christmas Eve? Yeah, tonight we're going to open our presents. Why do you do that? Is that something you grew up doing?

I'm impulsive. I don't want to wait. Why should I wait? I'm grown up. You do it at midnight? No. I do it in an hour or something. I better get some good shit too. That's all I'm saying. You know what sucks is that my parents

sent me money and then I took that money to buy them presents and I actually spent more than they sent me. If I would have waited and sent them presents first and then they got me money, I would have felt like I got something. But I felt like I just bought them presents. And it's all about time.

Timing, you know? They sent you money to buy them things. Right. Your personal shopper. But if I would have sent them something about time timing you know they sent you money to buy them things right it's like your personal shopper but if i would have sent them something first and then got money i would have felt like oh i've got some cash right that's funny interesting all right thanks for spending christmas eve with us you're welcome molly watt i'm gonna say people's names when i when i read your questions so you feel like i'm talking to you people's names when I read your questions so you feel like I'm talking to you because I am.

Were you pissed when you found out there was no Santa? Or did you find out? I found out there was no Santa because I stumbled into my parents wrapping shit. Oh, really? And I was like, and then we opened it the next day. I was like, what the fuck? Like I hid and I saw them, and then I just put two and two together. My friend has this video of her daughter last year,

and her daughter's like, I saw Santa Claus last night. He had a beard, and he had a big stomach, and he had the belt, and the mom's like, oh, really? Really? She's a fucking liar. I know. Can you imagine watching that? I would have to correct the kid. I was like, listen, don't lie. Don't lie? You would have said that? Yeah.

You can't see Santa? He's invisible? No, you can't lie to me. She she's like she was like four three she's a liar so fucking do you want to see the video i think it's very important to call kids on being i was a liar when i was a little kid this is what i'm saying is i had a very vivid imagination and not such a good life so i would always make up stories and i wish somebody called me on my bullshit then so it wouldn't have taken so long for me to figure it out on my own that people knew I was lying. I didn't figure it out until I was like 10.

You would think Pinocchio would have worked though. When you're a kid watching Pinocchio, I don't want a nose with big nose. Yeah, he's made of wood. Wooden people can't fucking talk, man. That's stupid. Why didn't they make him out of wood? Someone says,

Upstate says, I steal your jokes and I use them as my Facebook messages. I hope it gets you laid. Does it get you laid? If it gets you laid, I approve. I give you thumbs up, sir. Show us your breasts.

How dare you, D LaRoche. How dare you. Man, I just have to keep up with these Twitters. You're fucking freaking me out. But that's good. It's Twitters. It's good, though. It's coming in now.

Will UFC ever have a 135 division? I think the UFC and the WEC, the idea is eventually that it's going to be one thing. When? I don't know. But I think it should be because I think guys like Jose Aldo and Uriah Faber and Mike Brown and Miguel Torres, those guys are fucking awesome. They deserve all the attention that the UFC gets. They deserve people to be clamoring

for super fights and to see big pay-per-view bouts in Madison Square Garden and fucking the MGM Grand. Those guys deserve to be at those kind of shows. The level of talent in the WEC right now is staggering.

In the 135, 145 pound division, these guys are fucking animals, man. And even 155, they have some awesome fighters. I think it would be beneficial to everybody if the UFC was all one thing. Especially since they own the WEC. I think it would help everybody if they could make that happen. If it's possible. Rigorous sack says Use that little kid liar in the act

I don't know if that's really funny Sir I think that's Funny right now Because we're talking about right now I don't know if you can recreate It's not funny enough to recreate that And say it on stage.

Might be. Might be when you're talking about if my daughter gets to the age where my... Have you wrote any new conspiracy theory kind of comedy lately? Because I remember you used to be really big into writing Noah's Ark, the Pyramids and stuff. Conspiracy theory is like mystery type shit. Mystery type, yeah. Yeah, I've been writing a lot of that shit lately. That's my favorite shit.

That's your favorite shit. That's my favorite shit. Yeah, I'm writing more of that shit. It's like comedy. My comedy comes in big waves of creativity, waves of inspiration. Is Clay Guida okay? Yeah, he's okay. Yeah, he got cut up.

Kenny Florian cut him up with some elbows. Webb Beastie. All right, let me get some other other questions here what's my take short fuse on jesse ventura's new show we already talked about that earlier but i think people look for conspiracy there's a lot of conspiracies that are real but there's a lot of shit that people are just looking for conspiracies you know looking for love let's see a lot of questions about that jesse ventura show you know why because i i'm i believe a lot of weird shit so people always come to me when it comes to conspiracy theories but like we were

talking about earlier like google operation Northwoods. Google Operation Midnight Climax. Those are... Some conspiracies are fucking real. Real and proven. Man, I can't keep up with these Twitters. Google Christopher Columbus. What did Christopher Columbus do? Did not discover America.

That's true. He landed in the Bahamas, right? Yeah, but yet we are... Celebrate that, dude. Fucking crazy. that's true he landed in like the Bahamas right yeah but yet we are celebrate that dude fucking crazy when am I coming to Atlanta I don't know I think the last offer

I got from the comedy club wasn't good so I might come to Atlanta and do like a theater or something I like comedy clubs I like the idea behind them. I like supporting these local clubs that keep local comedians in business and stuff, but sometimes they don't give you the best deal. Is Brock going to live? Yes, I believe Brock Lesnar is going to live.

Are you going back to Columbus Ohio I'm going back to Columbus Ohio we're trying to go back in March but it didn't work out I'm gonna get a when I get my tattoos done I got him a few years ago I'm gonna do my right arm soon are you really yeah I'm gonna do Aaron Delvedova the guy who did this arm is he gonna do that I'm gonna do the new one yeah it's a what do you think it's gonna be badass I'm gonna do samurai versus a tiger one of those classic samurai versus a tiger Japanese style tattoos just make the background be a circuit board now a circuit board hmm maybe I think about adding something weird to it we're're still talking about it right now.

He hasn't drawn everything yet. Damn, there's a lot of fucking questions. Damn, you're only five minutes deep. 370 players, motherfucker. When am I coming to Indianapolis? I don't know. Never been. Is it good?

No. Don't lie to me. No. It's not good there? No. I went to Indianapolis? I don't know. Never been. Is it good? Don't lie to me. Not good there? No. I went to Pittsburgh once. It smells like suicide. Didn't like Pittsburgh. Indiana is not bad.

It's so boring there. I like to come to places where it sucks and give people a good time. Let's go to Columbus and make them drive. Not too many comedy clubs in Atlanta anymore. They've got a couple. They've got a lot of good comics that come out of Atlanta. The Punchline Atlanta. A lot of good comics come out of that place.

There's a new one. There's a new comedy club I just heard the other day that's really good in Atlanta. Yeah. Damn, I lost three people. I was up to 370. I hate Atlanta. I'm not getting any good questions here, bitches. These questions are terrible.

Killer Whales. We already terrible. Killer Whales. We already talked about Killer Whales. You know, the problem is a lot of these people are coming at the end of this, and we've been broadcasting for how long now? Is it still recording? I think so. I wonder how long it... Wow.

That's cool. How long have you been recording for? We've been doing it for... We've been doing it for an hour and 40 minutes. Wow. That's cool. It records all you been recording for? We've been doing it for an hour and 40 minutes. Wow. That's cool. It records all of it though. I know.

Dude, you can also get a premium channel. An hour and 40 minutes. You know what that means? I think you can get a premium channel on Ustream. It adds stuff. Time to refuel. When am I in Chicago? I do not have a gig in Chicago.

Dino Jitsu. I don't have anything lined up, but I'll be back there again. When am I planning to come back to Edmonton, Alberta? I was just there a couple months ago, and the problem is I gotta have new material for you guys. And I like to come no more than once a year so that I have enough time to write a bunch of new shit so I don't want you seeing the same act every time I come

I want to have a bunch of new shit this is the worst feeling in the world when you're performing for people and you know they're like oh I've heard this before some bits it's cool if you want to hear some bits that you like classics and you want to hear them live I totally understand that but i know you want to see mostly new shit so i come to places i try to come no more than once a year and ideally i like to come

every year and a half i like to make sure that you got plenty of new shit so i need to rewrite the first cd ha ha brian thinks I need to put my first CD on DVD. Rewrite it and redo it. Rewrite all the jokes and master every single joke. I think it's better to just leave it alone and just come up with new shit. Anything in Philly, I'll be back in Philly again too. I love that place. Helium is the shit.

That place is awesome. But if you go to joerogan.net, my website, there's my whole schedule up, and it'll tell you exactly where I'm going to be. Chattanooga, Tennessee has a great comedy club. How dare you just fucking lie to me like that? How dare you, dude? Tennessee's cool.

Chattanooga. I like Tennessee. I was just in Memphis. We had a good time in Memphis. Memphis was fun. You know what? I don't know. West Virginia. I hate West Virginia. Virginia's awesome Memphis was fun. You know what? West Virginia. I hate

West Virginia. Virginia is awesome if you've ever been to Virginia. You don't like West Virginia? West Virginia sucks, but Virginia is kind of cool. Pittsburgh smells like crud by the funny bird right there. We're not all poo. Okay. Did you know that there's a show called

Campus PD and it's cops only on college campuses? That's hilarious. And it's just girls puking, getting naked, just bar fights. When's the show on? It's on G4. It's like on every day, I think. And it's called Campus, I think Campus PD, and it's just cops on campus.

That doesn't seem like it should be fair. You shouldn't, if you're a kid, first of all, if you're in college, you're going to want to be on that stupid show because you're dumb and you're going to want to be on TV. And it's not fair for them to exploit you like that,

exploit your vulnerability. They have this incredible access. They can put you on fucking television. Like the Jersey Shore, for sure those guys are getting exploited. Here's the question though.

Some of the people in the show are blurred out in regular cops and the show, but most of the time they're not blurred. Because if they're not blurred it means they signed a release. Yeah, but did they get, what did they get?

Did they get off? Did they get anything like charges off? Like what is the deal there? That's a good question. You know, did they get $500 credit towards bail? Well, how bad are their crimes? Maybe the, um. It's from like attempted murder all the way, I mean, you watch cops.

Oh, cops. Yeah. Yeah, I think a lot of those guys that do it for money. It's money. 50 bucks or 100 bucks. 50 bucks. Sign this. And a lot of them are probably so fucking dumb, you know, they just sign it. They just want to be on TV. Man, for real? I wish I would do it. They've got to watch the Steven Seagal show.

Steven Seagal has got these guys fucking arrested. They pull him out. They're fucking throwing this guy down on the ground. You know, the guy said he had a gun and he got pulled over in his car and he told him he had a gun and there you grab him the Yankees you reach on your car you said you had a gun oh man I'm just I'm just trying to park the car you know that Steven Seagal because that's even Seagal y'all match me to shake your hand brother they got this guy handcuffed I mean this guy is

going to jail he's got a fucking gun in his car illegally they pull him over and all he wants to do is shake stuff I'm his ass keep it to go. He just wants to shake Steve It's not any any fucking brilliant. It's brilliant. Nothing more brilliant in the way. He talks to black people though He goes into with the black boys. What up cuz what's going on much love much love? Yeah. Yeah, he talks black It's awesome. It's awesome. Do you think cheaters is real or fake? Cheaters is fake. You think all of it or just some of them some of it whatever they need to do yeah some of it's real some of it got stabbed yeah he got stabbed that shit was real that guy fucking stabbed him i was

watching an episode last night and his boyfriend attacked the other boyfriend he has him in a head lock he's going i'm like wait he's just doing this he's not going like you would be just punching his head right you wouldn't just punching his head, right? You wouldn't just be going like. A lot of it is staged. They give him some money, you know? Jersey Shore needs to die, Rob Fitz 07 says. I disagree, Rob Fitz 07.

Why does he need to die? I haven't seen it. They're definitely getting exploited, but you know what? Fuck them. Fuck them. Exploit it. Exploit the shit out of them. me see it let me see the whole thing i grew up with people like that guidos don't just exist in in new jersey i grew up with guidos

in boston i did i know a lot of them from east boston especially i know a lot of guidos revere i used to teach taekwondo at a place called nautilus plus in revere revere massachusetts the guido capital of the world it was was all Irox and Big Hair. It was like some of my earliest jokes when I started out doing comedy were all about Revere. It was all about what a shit neighborhood it is. I would have hated growing up in that shit, man. The good thing is you appreciate nice, relaxed, cool people after you've been in an environment like that. You appreciate people that are on a different frequency. Instead of of this it's always everybody trying to get pumped up you know i'm

trying to get fucking swole you know everybody's trying to wear the right clothes i'm wearing fucking cologne the bitches like the smell like i knew so many guys like that when i watch jersey shore it's almost a little too painful to me like i knew too many dudes like that Like, I knew too many dudes like that. Rob Fitz. Oh, I can't keep going to you, buddy. Bad Bobby. Hey, Bad Bobby.

He says, I've been smoking weed and watching Jersey Shore all day laughing. Folks, you should follow Bad Bobby. He's a very funny guy. I might not be the real Bad Bobby. You don't think so? No, because there's two Anons. And I know one's real and I know one's not. Yeah, the spelling is a little too good.

Right. Might be a fake Bad Bobby. Yeah. Bad Bobby is an internet legend. And I think some people might want to fake being Bad Bobby. Bad Bobby's a real dude. He owns a strip club. It's a very interesting character. He was a stockbroker, made a ton ton of money and then retired to open up a strip

club in vancouver and just just bangs chicks all the day he just he's he's just a bad motherfucker he just eats steaks shoots human growth he's always telling people to get him coffee too just drink so much shut up and get me coffee he's just he's a he's a funny dude he says really really funny shit and he um And he lives in Vancouver. I can't wait to see him again. We're going to see him again in June. We're going to go up there for the UFC. See you, Hollaback.

That's the rumor. UFC in June. Okay. When's UFC Japan? I want to see that. I don't know. I don't know. It's hard to go over there, I think.

Let's see. Let's see if we get some questions here. Man, this stream is coming in too fast. I can't read these bitches. That's cool, though, that it's the Twitter stream. Did I see the bit on SNL about Jersey Shore? Man, I haven't watched SNL in a long time. I find it really

hard to trust them. You know, it's like so many of those sketches are just not funny. It's too hard to trust, to commit to sitting there. It's one of those things I'll give you a few. I'll watch the clips when there's things on the internet that are really funny, like Dick in a Box. Remember that? That was an SNL gag, wasn't it?

Yeah. I'll watch them when they get to the internet. But I need somebody else to edit it, find the funny ones, and make a big deal out of it. I can't commit to watching that show. Have I seen Avatar yet? No, I have not. Brian and I are going to go see it probably the day after Christmas. We're going to get fucking shroomed up.

I can't stand that. We could go to the 3D. I think we're already going to have heart attacks. To do a shroom, that's the way to do it. Not crazy. You never know. I took a little and I was shitting myself last time. Let's just go with pot cookies.

I got some pot cookies that are just like shrooms. They might as well be shrooms. Please talk about ancient alien theories. He says in all caps. JG129. Please talk about Ancient Alien Theories. The big theory of the Ancient Alien Theories is that human beings were manufactured

and that they used genetic manipulation to take monkeys and add alien DNA to the monkeys to make people. What do you think about that, Brian? I think Asians are aliens. They could be, right? Maybe that's why they're so hot. Who the fuck is calling me while I'm on my podcast,

goddammit? Oh, that's the house. Excuse me, I'm in the middle of a podcast. Oh, how much longer should I be? Okay, you want me to end soon? Hi, muffinuffin. Daddy's on the internet.

Okay. Ten minutes, okay? Okay. Bye. All right, ladies and gentlemen. That's the reality. See? You see me, fucking stand-up comedian slash cage fighter?

No. Pussy whipped husband and daddy. Daddy has to stop smoking weed and doing his little webcam show because everybody wants to eat and they want to open up christmas presents merry christmas you dirty bitches what was i talking about before that happened oh we're talking about ancient aliens yeah you were saying what's your theory asians are asians like aliens landed and had asians and Asians nowadays aren't aliens, but they're a breed of aliens. Maybe they're more alien than we are.

Maybe there was different formulations. Maybe that's what all the different breeds of human beings are. Different Italians, Irish. Or they're pure. We're just mutts and they're pure. They're more pure to the actual human race. Well, definitely Asians are're pure. We're just mutts and they're pure. They're more pure to the actual human race, you know? Well, definitely Asians are more pure.

I mean, there's billions of them and they look very similar. That's incredible that they managed to do that. I mean, I guess they probably look at Europeans in a similar way. But the difference is with the blonde hair and red hair and brown hair. Europeans come in all different colors and sizes. But even like you go Korean to Japanese to Chinese it's all black hair it's all real similar skin tones I mean god damn there's some similarities in the a I would love to be Asian I think really yeah you have excuse for having such a little bit oh no I mean since they don't have to shave most of you don't have to shave. Most of them, you don't have to shave. I hate shaving, dude.

I don't mind shaving. I fucking hate it. Well, you shave everything. You enjoy it. You're making an adventure. I keep my bald hair, though. My lower bald hair I shave off because there's some gray ones in there I'm trying to avoid, but my upper pubes, I leave those bitches alone.

I trim them a little bit. When I lived alone, I would take Nair and put it on a trash bag and roll around like a pig. Really? Just to get it all over my back. And then you couldn't get the scraper. So then you would have to get a towel. And you rub yourself? Just rub hard.

Really? Does it work? Yeah. Wow. Brian. Innovative hair loss methods by Brian Reichel. I had a nice, fat, thick mountain man beard for a while. Back when I was doing that Evan Tanner tribute beard,

I had a good one going, but I had to shave it for something I had to do. Rejoin the human. Rejoin society. Well, back when I came back from Colorado, too. I was really thinking about growing one in Colorado, but that might push me well over the edge. When I was living in Colorado on the top of a mountain, if I had a beard up there, too, I probably would have got way close to an animal.

If I let myself fall, I'd be crazy hairy. Was there any point of living there that you were just outside and you were just like, holy shit, this is scary? What am I doing here? Yeah, definitely. It was definitely scary. But that was part of the appeal of it to me is that it was so off the grid right it was so outside of the way a normal person every day gets to experience life i was living in the fucking woods not just kind of in the woods i was living on 150 acres on the top of a mountain in boulder colorado outside of boulder i mean it

was like nine miles above boulder it was pretty trippy, 8,500 feet above sea level and all sorts of wildlife. Deer every day. I was on a dirt road for eight miles. Deer, every day I would see deer. Every day I would see foxes. Occasionally, I would see porcupines. People saw bear. I never saw bear. I saw a mountain lion in my backyard. I mean, you saw a lot of shit, eagles all the time. I mean, it was really intense. It was so real, you know. It was so like, you know, you're driving, you're seeing wild animals, like real wild animals. Big fucking 10-point bucks walking down the street, you know. It's very, very interesting. It's just the fact that you can live somewhere like that.

It's such a, I think people get stuck in the patterns. And I think it's real easy to get stuck in the same way of thinking, the same way of looking at the world. And nothing changes that like moving to a new place for a while and moving to a place that's as stunning as the mountains of Colorado. I would love to go back, but it's just not practical to have a wife and kids and have little vulnerable, and have little vulnerable babies and being around fucking wild monsters. I mean, my dog got eaten by a mountain lion when we were up there. That's for real. Like we saw a mountain lion. I let the little dog out by himself. Dog disappears. I mean, that dog got eaten by a fucking mountain lion, you know, which is very likely. And those animals die to predation up there all the time. It's very common. They even prey on animals. They get used to them.

They get used to recognizing and associating the barks of these animals with prey. And so they go towards where they hear barks. So it's actually kind of dangerous when you have a fucking house with dogs barking. Because sometimes these mountain lions, if they're hungry, especially if they're old, and they can't catch deer anymore, they know these dogs are in a cage. They hop over that fence like it ain't shit. especially if they're old and they can't catch deer anymore, they know these dogs are like in a cage. They're like, hey, I'm food, I'm food. They hop over that fence like it ain't shit. Jack dogs, they do it all the time.

They're scary as fuck. Do you think people that sleep with guns underneath their pillows, if that's just fake, somebody said it once to impress a girl? Oh, no, I know a guy who does it. Really? Yeah. Don't you, doesn't that just seem the most, like, that's dumb? Well, if you want it and you want it to have it right there,

if you live in a place where you think you're gonna need it right there I mean look it doesn't seem like it's a good idea but what if someone breaks in your house and you need the gun and you just go like that and you got the gun and then that keeps you alive you know there's that way of looking at it you know there's the way of looking at it like hey man if you think that way man fucking nothing can happen to you man As long as you think positive You can think that way

You can be one of those dudes that goes through life Convinced that nothing ever bad Is going to happen to you I mean that is possible You might sneak through But shit might get ugly And if shit gets ugly You want one of these bitches

This shit's important You gotta have guns ladies and gentlemen I believe in the second amendment And her shit gets ugly. You want one of these bitches. This shit's important. That's cool. You gotta have guns, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. I believe in the Second Amendment. That's really cool. I believe that... Dude, we should go shooting sometime.

I haven't been shooting in so long. Let's do it. There's a place right out here. Really? Let's go. Yeah. There's a place. Dude, I want to go shooting so bad.

Let's go. Go, uh... Let's go on Monday. Cool. I think, um... Yeah, definitely gun control is important. You've got to definitely screen people. You've got to definitely make sure that people can't get access to guns that are fucking crazy.

And that's the problem with a lot of gun shows. There's a lot of people that sell guns at gun shows that don't give a fuck if you're licensed or not. They're just trying to make some money. And there's been exposés on that where they've shown that people in gun shows will sell guns to people that don't, you know, not really supposed to have guns. But the guns are out there. They're fucking out there.

There's millions of them. You're not gonna, you should have one. You know, if there's millions of guns out there, better to have it and to not need it than to need it and not have it. That's, you know, I'm an optimist. I'm not a pessimist. I'm not, you know, I'm an optimist. I'm not a pessimist. I'm not, you know, I believe that most human beings are good,

but I've come across way too many fucked up people to have complete and total blind trust in the human race. I just don't. I've seen way too many fucked up violent things happen. I've seen way too many crazy people I've come in contact with and had to deal with. Way too many fucking crazy people. There's a lot of people out there that you can't reason with. There's a lot of people out there that are just broken and nuts.

And that's real. Oh, is that Santa's bells? Santa's bells is leaving a message? Santa's bells? Where? No, no. I meant, is that Santa's bells? Oh, you're saying we have to end this?

All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're saying we have to end this? All right, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to have to end this real soon. What UFC super fight would I like to see? Brock Lesnar versus Fedor. That's what I would like to see. That's what everybody should want to see. Oh, that's a diaper. A diaper.

This is my reality, ladies and gentlemen. I've got diapers in my office. My boss office with my Make Me Hard poster. I've got diapers in my office. My boss office with my Make Me Hard poster. I've got a fucking... What's Oakley's split dump? I don't know. We can talk later. Oh, that's those

eyeglasses that are MP3 players. Oh, right. That's the kind that Dog the Bounty Hunter wears. That's hilarious. Alright, ladies and gentlemen this has been very interesting we were up to

379 motherfuckers I want to thank you for tuning in this is we're going to do this much more often now that I have this set up

I finally installed this webcam that I bought like five fucking years ago you got to get your internet

updated you got a new HD I'm going to get my internet updated. They have HD cameras now. 59 bucks at Amazon. Look for the... For this?

Yeah. Well, no, you don't. That's actually an old camera now. That's not good? No. But it looks okay. Yeah, it looks okay. But see, it's not in HD.

You'd be broadcasting HD right now. But isn't that like more bandwidth for people to download? Yeah, but not when you have 20 megabytes, you know, crazy internet. Oh, but it doesn't affect them. It affects them downloading it. It only affects us upstreaming.

Once I get the internet, I'll make it HD so you can see how ugly I am. That nigger's ugly. Alright, what else we got here? When is the next time I'm going to be Ustreaming? Johnny Bananas, that's a very good question. What I'm going to be you streaming? Johnny Bananas? That's a very good question.

I think what I'm going to try to do is my ultimate goal in 2010 is I'm trying to write a book right now. And I've been spending a lot of time writing that and writing stand-up comedy and not so much time updating my website. But I do go on Twitter because Twitter is fun for me. And it's like a little exercise in writing to make things short, make them 140 characters. I think that's fun. So it is. It's fun. It teaches you to like, you know.

Edit your shit. Yeah, and with comedy, that's very important. Economy of words is what it's called. And in stand-up comedy, it's very important. The less words you can use to make a point, the funnier it's going to be when it hits people. The more verbose it is, the more it's not funny when it gets there. So I think Twitter is real good for that. But my point is, in 2010,

my main goal is more on the internet, more shit like this, more Ustream shit, more Twitter, and definitely more blogs. But I'm going to start doing more video shit. I'm carrying, I got a cool flip thing from the UFC for Christmas, which is perfect. I'm going to bring that bitch with me everywhere. I'm going to start putting shit online on YouTube on a really regular basis. And I know there's a little Ustream streaming thing for the iPhone.

We're going to try that shit out, but it's probably gay. Yeah, if you're on Wi-Fi, it's not bad. You actually see the chat on the screen too. Oh, really? Yeah. If you're on Wi-Fi, it's good. It You actually see the chat on the screen too. Oh, really? Yeah. If you're on Wi-Fi, it's good. It's good. Yeah, I mean, I've tried on 3G But if you're on Wi-Fi, that means I'm on a fucking computer. You know, why fuck around? Unless you're at Denny's.

You know? Denny's has Wi-Fi? Yeah. Amazing. Every place has Wi-Fi now. Welcome to 2009, people. Shit is getting crazy. Well, listen, I gotta go. I gotta go eat dinner with my family. I don't want to leave people hungry. We gotta exchange presents and all that good shit. I love you, motherfuckers.

Thank you very much for tuning in. And we are going to do this again. Don't know when, but within a week, right? We'll commit. We should do it once a week. We'll commit. We're going to do this once a week. Two hours, once a week.

I think that's a good idea. All right. I love you guys. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Two hours, once a week. A think that's a good idea. All right. I love you guys. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Two hours once a week. A movie is two hours. You do a movie once a week.

Yeah. You know what's so funny? I was thinking, how gay is this all going to look looking back at it in 50 years? So do we save this? Do we save this recording? No, I think it saves it to your page

so people can go to your page, hit stop and see what it says. I did. I already stopped it. Oh. See? This is stopped. Wait. No, you said stop broadcast.

Hit stop record.