The Joe Rogan Experience - #1012 - Brendan Schaub

Episode Date: September 15, 2017

Joe sits down with Brendan Schaub to discuss the upcoming boxing and UFC fights.

Oh, false flag. Five, four, three, two... Yes! Yes, ladies and gentlemen! Yes! Yes! We're here. I'm sorry we didn't go live earlier, folks.

You know, I tweeted it 20 minutes ago. We just said a bunch of shit we could never talk to you about. Gossip. A lot of it had to do with dicks. As usual. Well, of course, when Shobob's on it's about dicks Gotta do what you gotta do Dicks and gossip

Speaking of dicks, that fucking thing you're driving around You're driving around a kid's toy That's a straight up Mr. Fuckboy toy That is a Dude, I was... Because I came straight from the airport. Tell me what it is.

It's a slingshot, so it's... There's, you know, it's a three-wheeler, so it's two wheels in the front, one in the back. It looks like Bruce Wayne's, like... Yeah. Like, Batmobile, like, weird toy. It looks like you shouldn't be able to drive on the street. You're like, wait a minute.

How do you... You could just drive that around? Wait a minute. I know. How does that work? Is that a car? Like, what is that? I don't know what it is, but technically it's considered a motorcycle.

And, you know, I have the helmet. I wear the helmet sometimes. Kids, if you're listening, definitely wear a helmet when you have it. But I parked at the airport because I don't want to park my Porsche at the airport. Parked that at the airport? Yeah, I parked that at the airport. And then I thought I'd have time to go home because I landed this morning from San Francisco.

I thought I'd have time to go home and change the cars out and then come here and take a shower or whatever, but I didn't. So I was like, ah, fuck it, I'll just drive all the way down there. Go on the 405 over the hill. Wow. It's lovely, though.

The wind's in my face. I got fucking 80s rock on this fucking i was feeling myself man i thought i mean people are like me like that's either the coolest guy i've ever seen or the biggest tool in the world it's fucking hit me with your best shot i'm just fucking flying man that's hilarious you listen to You were listening to Pat Benatar? Yeah. Just wild as shit, dude. Oh, my God. I love it, man.

Because, again, I would never get on a motorcycle. Because this thing's so big, so it's a little safer. Little? A little safer. People can see it. Like, motorcycles get fucked up, can't see it. That's a big part. But this thing, I mean, winds in my face.

I can see, like, everything, man. Like, a car, you're so enclosed. This, I see it. That's a big part. But this thing, I mean, winds in my face, I can see, like, everything, man. Like a car, you're showing clothes. This, I love it. And the stick shift, like, I feel like I'm one with the road. Oh, it's a real stick? Oh, yeah. With a clutch? Oh, yeah. Isn't that much better? It is and it isn't. It's way better for driving. I feel more, like I said, with the

road, I feel like Paul Newman or some shit, like a race car driver. Especially with that thing. That seems like the sweet spot between a motorcycle and a car. Exactly. That's why it makes sense. And the gas mileage on it is super beastly. It's awesome.

It probably weighs nothing, right? Nothing. A little engine in it. It's fast. What do you think it weighs? Can you pick it up? I don't know. We should try after this.

Yeah, we should try to pick it up. You and I can definitely pick it up? I don't know. We should try after this. Yeah, we should try to pick it up. You and I can definitely pick it up. If it weighs somewhere around like a really light, light car, it's supposed to be the most fun to drive. Let's say like a 1973 Porsche. Because they're not that powerful, but they don't really need to be. If a 1973 Porsche has like 200 horsepower, it's like, wow, this is a fast little car. Because you can get them down to like 1,900 pounds. That might my gt3 is 3000 pounds so think of that it's not so it's very light that's why that's why when you're buying a porsche if you get the targa they're so much heavier because they have that glass they're heavy as fuck yeah all that bullshit

they look sick though they do look cool but i don't think they are especially the old ones i don't think they're the most rigid. I don't think they had that. Like, I used to have an NSX that had a target top. What do you got here? 1,700. What year is that? That's a new one.

Oh, that's the slingshot? That's the slingshot. Oh, I thought you were saying Porsche. Wow, that's light. That's, like, lighter than probably one of the lightest cars you could get. Now, here's the stickler. No airbags. So if someone were to hit me. That's like lighter than probably one of the lightest cars you could get. Now, here's the stickler. No airbags. So if someone were to hit me.

That's no bueno. I live life on the edge though, fellas. You're living on the edge. Look at that thing. How do you get away with having no airbags? How does that work? I'm not sure. It's basically a motorcycle.

It's considered a motorcycle on the street. But they say cops, if they see you without a helmet, they will pull you over and pound the car. These things are so new they think i'm like some low budget alley cat bruce wayne or something like that they thumbs up i've passed seven of them i mean if you don't have a helmet yeah and i go in carpool i go in carpool like an asshole just blaring 80s rocking wait a minute you go in carpool because it's a motorcycle yeah i'm like well classically it's a motorcycle? Yeah, I'm like, well, classically, it's a motorcycle. Wow, you can go on the HOV in that? I'm not sure, Joe. There's really no rules.

I'm kind of in no man's land right now. So you're allowed to go in the... How funny is that? You're allowed to go in the carpool lane in a fucking motorcycle. That's the opposite of carpooling. Ain't it weird? It's so stupid. Like, if you're carpooling on a motorcycle, you're putting somebody at risk.

Correct. You know, if you get somebody on the back with you... Super dangerous. Every time I see a guy on a motorcycle, you're putting somebody at risk. Correct. You know, if you get somebody on the back with you. Super dangerous. Every time I see a guy on a motorcycle, I see one person. I see like, well, it's dangerous, but it's a guy on a motorcycle. I see two people on a motorcycle. I go, well, this is like exponentially more dangerous. And usually it's this girl on the back with like, she has Daisy Dukes on or something.

Right. And how much, how good are you at adjusting with that extra 125 pounds in the back and her yeah that's what i'm saying yeah that extra 125 pounds or whatever she weighs one let's go one four let's make a real woman let's say she's 150 pounds so if you get 150 pounds behind you how good are you at correcting for that have you really practiced that are you good in the moment when the shit hits the fan do you make good decisions do you even know if you do I think it's one of those things where does it matter if you're both on a motorcycle and you have Daisy Dukes on your crash who gives a fuck meat goes everywhere super meaty oh just chunks of

meat hit the gravel and rip apart and I see such a terrible way to go barefoot in shorts no shirt riding a motorcycle a real motorcycle and you could do that in Colorado you don't have to have a helmet I think Nevada has no helmet too it's a bunch of places like that Arizona no helmets I saw these dudes riding around in Harley Davidson's no helmet I was like what it's kind of fair though like if you're gonna ride a motorcycle how you gonna tell them where to a helmet if they if they don't want to wear one who gives a fuck because that's the only thing that could save their life i know but if they're on a motorcycle you know i'm saying like god whatever man yeah this is how i like to live well there's a there's an argument there man for sure i don't think you

should be able to tell people what to do but i think guidelines for young people are very very important because they make that's a good point impulsive decisions. And if you could protect more of them, if you made a mandatory helmet law, maybe you should say up to age 30 and over age 30, you do it over the fucking wall. That's why they do it. Cause you can't have all those loopholes. Can you? Yeah, probably. I think the reason why they do it is for insurance. I think insurance policies don't, they don't want to pay out for injuries and death and all that shit. That's why they make seatbelt laws. That's why they make helmet laws. I don't, they don't want to pay out for injuries and death and all that shit. That's why they make seatbelt laws. That's why they make helmet laws.

I don't really think it's to protect people. I think protecting people is a consequence of protecting their money. That makes sense. Yeah. Insurance and all that. How gross is that? I'm pretty sure that's true, though. That's life, son.

Business. They realize how many people get injured and how much they have to pay. So they factor it in. They say, well, just lobby for more protection in the cars, more airbags, airbags mandatory, seatbelts, all that different stuff. Like a lot of that is really under the guise of protecting us. It's really the protecting insurance companies' money. It's nasty.

They say your odds of getting in a motorcycle accident, your first year of owning a motorcycle, are 99%. Oh, my God. 99% of people get in some sort of, they wreck it, they do something, their first year of driving a motorcycle. Wow. That's why you don't buy a super fancy motorcycle your first year. Did you ever see Dean Del Rey when he wiped? No.

He wiped back when he was fat, Dean. Dean got off sugar. Completely, really impressive, actually. He was always, he was fat Dean Dean got off sugar completely really impressive actually he was always it was never fat but he was a guy who was not taking care of himself sorry not going to the gym and he got real thick and he was on a motorcycle

and some crazy meth head cut him off some lady it might have been a stolen car it was something like super sketchy but she she crashed into him he wiped she never stopped and he just got toe up all of his side his legs his arm he just got severely jacked yeah there he is god damn yeah dean del rey living life there's a um there's a picture of the actual wound, if you could find it. He put up the actual wound, especially on his back and side.

It's really bad. I mean, he fucking lied. I mean, if I'm going to crash, I want to be because of my air, not some random lady not seeing me on meth. Yeah, man, it ain't. No, it's not in there. There's a picture of it. I know.

I don't see the picture in there right now. Oh. Well, no worries. But anyway. I just can no worries but anyway all that white shit all over his side those bandages I mean that's how big the fucking giant tear is it goes his skin is fucked up for like a good solid foot and a half

how funny is this and so in the NFL NBA NHL motorcycles are illegal once you sign that contract you cannot drive a motorcycle. I'm sure there's guys that have them but legally it will void your contract. The UFC you can win a motorcycle. They give you motorcycles.

That's because of the deal with Harley. I get it. Isn't it weird? Yeah well they're also like I don't know you gotta think of who was running the UFC right? It was owned by two guys the Fertittas, that were independently very wealthy already and very wise businessmen, and they were fans. So they just decided, fuck this.

Let's just try to make this work. Let's try to make it real. They hired Dana fucking White to be the president, who's crazy. And it all worked. It was beautiful. In a good way. It's great. It's great. His craziness is part of the reason why it's so appealing like when oscar de la jolla was

talking shit about the mayweather mcgregor fight and he and he goes what he was like lol is this guy sniffing coke again i love that i'm such a roast such a roast i was like meanwhile meanwhile he didn't did he even go into the cross-dressing? No. Yeah, you're right. See? Not at all. That's a jab. It could have gotten nasty. That's a jab.

He could have came with that straight right. The sniffing coke. A lot of people sniff coke. All right, we're good. Don't make us cross-dress it. The UFC with the whatever 10 million followers blast a picture in high heels, bitch. And it went out without even him having to do it. If it's one thing, too,

if it's an obvious second thing, and you say the first thing and be real mild, everybody else will pick up the slack. Did you see Dosbrack? That guy's hilarious. Did you see the graphic he made of Triple G Canelo? No. And Oscar Deleuze in the middle as a cross-dresser?

I did see that. He did one of me with a f-dresser. I did see that. He did one of me with a fanny pack on. It was sick. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, that's funny. Oh my God, Oscar. Oscar, shut the fuck up.

Please shut the fuck up. Oscar was smart though because with all the hype of Mayweather and McGregor, he would go on and shit on it. Shit on the fight just to hype up his fight though. Go to that Nate and Nick all the hype of Mayweather and McGregor, he would go on and shit on it, right? Shit on the fight, just to hype up his fight though. Go to that Nate and Nick picture that's everyone's on steroids.

Go scroll up. Scroll up to the top. That one's hilarious. Everybody is on steroids. What a great picture. It's so hilarious. Meanwhile, they might be right. Yeah, they might be right.

You know what I started watching last night? I don't know if you'd say it. Icarus or Icarus. Is it on Netflix? Yes. It's all about doping and this guy who is helping the Russian team to do it. Yeah, Russians. Yeah.

There was one estimate that it was somewhere in the high 90s of Russian athletes are on performance enhancing drugs. That makes sense. That's my thing with this whole John Jones stuff. I go back and forth. I'm going to quote our friend Eddie Bravo. When you look into it, when you look into it, that Toronto ball, like so many guys' article came out today.

I think on Fox, Fox Sports, an article came out today of this guy who's a minor league baseball player, and he's a pro now, and he's tested twice for it, positive, and a third time. He's waiting to see if he gets banned for life because three strikes, you're out in baseball. Right. Banned for life. And they're saying how many guys in baseball test hot for this Toronto ball. And they say in GNC, they have 47 products at GNC that this can show up as.

Wow. I know. So I saw that. I'm like, ah, fuck. Yeah, but wait a minute. He's not supposed to be taking anything. You're talking about a guy who's already lost his ability to make a living from Mexican dick pills.

Like, why would he ever just take something off the shelf at GNC? Well, we're not giving the guy kudos because he's the smartest tool in the shed. Sharpest. Sharpest. What'd I say? Smartest tool in the shed. Well, tools are smart, too. Now to smoke the little weed.

You know what I'm saying? I do get it. He might have been like, oh, I need energy. Give me this. What is that? Just some guy on the front with bolts out of his neck, and he takes that. Dude, the truth is I would never do steroids. I put that on my children.

I put that on my heavenly father I put that on my heavenly father. He did not bring heavenly father. I love how he capitalized heavenly and father. Because for sure, do that. Well, you don't want to go to hell. Hespec. Hespec. Jones 30 is facing up.

Imagine if he comes back at 34 and still fucks everybody up. But he's 260 pounds at heavyweight. He's in heavyweight. Fuck all this cutting weight. Just go on a powerlifting rampage for the next four years. Keep your body in shape. He'll still fuck everybody up at heavyweight. But if you look at that Toronto ball, man, and you see how many guys test hot for it,

and they're like, what the fuck? It's not in there. I can see Jones' argument a little bit. I know I go back and forth and I'm off the Jones train. But when I see that and I see how big of an issue it is in baseball, in minor league baseball, USADA and the commission might be like, fuck, look at all these guys, man. We got a real issue here. Maybe he did fuck up.

So then I think there's no way they give him four years. But I haven't heard of anybody else testing positive for this stuff in the UFC. Have you? Is it the same stuff Frank Mirta has tested positive for? stuff in the UFC? Have you? Is it the same stuff Frank Mir tests positive for? This is the other thing. Usually if a guy tests hot for something out of one of those major camps, other guys are going to test hot for the same stuff. Unless he's getting it straight from the power lifter guys.

Yeah, or his NFL brothers. Didn't Frank Mir eat kangaroo? It was his tainted kangaroo meat, bro. Was that the worst argument ever? It was the worst ever. God damn it, Frank. You're a smart guy, too. You're the smartest tool in the shed. Some people eat kangaroo, but it's not common table fare

in Australia. Fuck no. I was just in Australia doing shows. I didn't have a kangaroo burger. No, fuck no. They eat venison, beef, eating kangaroo burger no fuck no they eat venison beef eating yeah but but did it say what what he was flagged for this is my favorite part however he was still given a maximum punishment by usada because he claimed he listed numerous potential sources for the positive test including eating kangaroo meat while in australia you this like, what? Get the fuck out of here.

That's the best you got. We've heard a bunch of shit, but that's all you got. Boy. You know what's interesting? It's like, how much does it help? How much, like, think about what these guys are doing. I mean, definitely steroids help, right? Steroids make you a better athlete.

They allow you to recover. Some say 10% better. Yeah. It's hard to tell, though, because could John beat Daniel Cormier without that small dosage of Trenabal? Yes. He could. That's what DC was saying. He was like, the guy doesn't need to do it.

He's super talented. Doesn't need to do it. I know. It's like the guy doesn't need to do it. He's super talented. He doesn't need to do it. I know. That's why when you look at the evidence,

you're like, why this small amount of Toronto ball, and you see all the other guys test and pause for it, how much would this really help? Would he risk all this to take something piss hot? And it's really not helping that much? And then where do we stop? So right now we want to, and listen, I've been the fucking poster boy of making fun of john on this stuff but in all seriousness where do we say all right most guys

are doing it because there's this i heard luke thomas talking about it uh they uh uh wada right well it's not in water yeah yeah water's the big one i think uh in 2007 they did this survey of athletes including fighters that were going overseas and competing and they they asked them as at a kind of under the radar how many guys are doing performance enhancing drugs it was an alarming number like 78 and that's people you know i bet it would be a little higher than that yeah so like you know what i'm saying so we're we're gonna tarnish john name, and he's not the greatest of all time, but it's like, okay. But then you pay to watch Overeem fight. You pay to watch Vitor Bell for a fight.

You know, like, we don't know exactly who's doing what. Right, but if Overeem becomes a champ, I guarantee you if he pisses hot as a champ, people turn on him, too. No, I get it, but he's tested for way worse things than John has. But he hasn't. He tested for testosterone, right? Didn't he? It was just testosterone. Oh my God. He had elevated testosterone levels. I mean the same shit. Remember when he was Uber Ream, that's more than testosterone. But he, but he tested positive for that, didn't he? And he said a doctor gave him a shot. Wasn't that like the whole deal? Those excuses don't work ever. I know, they don't. I know, but

let's just think about what they are. So he tested positive for testosterone, I believe. Well, if you test positive for that, and if he had an exemption, that means his levels were on that Vitor Belfort, Nate Marquardt shit where they test you like, holy fuck, man. How are you not growing another head?

He's one of the first guys popped by USADA, I believe. He was also the one who, remember, he ran away. Oh, that's right. He's like, gotta go. Gotta go. Literally sprinted to his car. Did he? God damn, look at that big man run.

Yeah. Really? And then he had to come back. He ran to his car? Yeah. They got him after a pre-fight PR thing. And he's like, oh, shit. And then ran.

You know how he runs in the octagon? He was doing that. He got away. And he got in his car and drove off? Yeah. What happens? You get in serious trouble, right? Fuck yeah.

Someone convinced him to come back. Probably Dana was like, what the fuck are you doing? Well, you remember what happened with Vanderlei. They banned Vanderlei for life. They said, for life. I don't think that was USADA, though. They banned Vanderlei for life. For life. I don't think that was USADA, though. I feel like that was Nevada. No, that was the Nevada Commission.

They're the same ones who want to ban Nick for life and fucking told Conor he owes him like $2 million and then he has to shoot a commercial for him. $150,000. And shoot a commercial. What? Fuck you. I'm not fighting here anymore.

Yeah, do you know that? Yeah, what was the commercial? An anti-bullying commercial. What? Fuck you. I'm not fighting here anymore. Yeah. Do you know that? Yeah. What was the commercial? An anti-bullying commercial. Oh, they're hilarious. Listen, you pay us $150,000, shoot this commercial for free. Why would I do an anti-bullying commercial when you're bullying me? You're bullying me into doing an anti-bullying commercial? Or Connor should just be like, all right, well, cool, I'll do the commercial, but I'm

going to give you my rate. It's about $2 million to do a commercial right now. I need about $1.7 million. That's what I need. You guys owe me that. So I'll pay the fine, but you owe me $1.7 million to do the commercial. There's a lady in the Devon State Athletic Commission that's very mean. You know that one lady?

Think if that's your job. I'd be mean, too. I forget who was it. Was it Nick Diaz? It might have been Nick Diaz but just the scolding that she was given one of the fighters while this was all going down when they were going over some sort of a positive test it's like you know because they're government officials you know so they feel like they have this power and they it becomes like a tyranny they're not nice like

you don't have like a personal relationship with this guy you shouldn't have personal issues like this stern faced anger in your voice you're in have, like, a personal relationship with this guy. You shouldn't have personal issues. Like, this stern-faced anger in your voice. You're in, like, some sort of a competition to convict someone and to punish them. It's an ego thing. Absolutely is. It's not, like, look, there can absolutely be, like, say what you want about the golden snitch, right, Novitski? I like it. So when I call him golden snitch, that's a positive term.

I know. It's a fun thing to say. Yeah, it's great. Someone gave me a Golden Snitch toy last night. You know from Harry Potter? No. Oh, there's Golden Snitch

and Harry Potter. Carry on, though. Novitski is never angry about it, never emotional about it, very factual. Like, when he describes what a thing was, he's not casting judgment.

He's not being mean. He's just saying, this is what we have. He's not casting judgment. He's not being mean. He's just saying this is what we have. He's doing his job. He's doing his job. He's not sitting back going God I want to catch John with this Toronto ball shit.

God I hope that happens. He's not doing any of that. Also you gotta realize when they brought on Nowitzki is they were trying to paint the picture

to sell it for the most money possible to be taken serious. So you sign this huge Reebok endorsement deal. You start doing- It's a pump and dump. Is that what you're saying? It's a goddamn pump and dump.

And then Frank and Lorenzo just sold the remaining shares too. Like, we're really out. Yeah. Someone was just telling me about how they do that with businesses. Like some businesses are not operating just to try to make a profit. They're operating to sell. Yes. And I went, what?

And then this one guy was telling me that his friend had a business that was operating that way, but then it didn't sell. The sell fell apart. So then they have to change the business plan and then start making it a business to make money. Like what the fuck are you talking about? With the Fertittas, I mean, you're talking straight Mavericks when it comes to business. So with all they have going on, they don't need the UFC to do money. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? With the Fertittas, I mean, you're talking straight Mavericks when it comes to business. So with all they have going on, they don't need the UFC to do well. That doesn't help their lives.

Doesn't mean anything to them right now. So they look at it as a business. So let's take these steps. Well, the strict testing could fuck guys down the road. Don't care. Reebok this. Don't care. That's not our deal.

This is what's going to make it look best for buyers. That's what we're doing. Four billion. Go fuck yourselves. Have fun, fellas. Genius strategy, really, when you think about it that way. Brilliant. They'll probably teach it at Harvard. What Dana and the Fertittas did, they'll probably teach at Harvard. Yeah, really think about it that way. In terms of

just a giant sum of money to be earned. You know what? They earned it, too, because you think about where the business was before they came along and how they were 40 plus million dollars in debt

when they filmed The Ultimate Fighter. They were losing so much fucking money. Just hand over fist losing money. And at one point, Lorenzo had called Dana

and said, let's sell it. Try to find some buyers in the morning. Then he woke up in the morning and changed his mind. He's like, fuck that. Damn.

We're going to keep it. I mean, that's how much money they were losing. Not a lot of people would have done that. Depends how much money I have in the bank. Yeah, but even with a lot of money in the bank, you can't just keep chewing through money. If you're $40 million in, that means in a couple years you're $100 million in. You're going to get that $100 million back? Not very likely.

years you're a hundred million dollars in like you're gonna get that hundred million dollars back not very likely how about their cousin bought the houston rockets for 2.2 billion dollars that family is fucking balling hashtag balling hashtag balling i saw johnny depp needs a loan for t yeah johnny depp does need a loan someone needs it tell johnny doesn't need 14 houses johnny settle down. In a night. I mean, what kind of speed are you on when you sign the mortgage for that 14th house? You're like, fuck it! We're going in! Just killing it.

But that 14th house, like, holy shit. What do you do with those? You don't do anything with them. That's the problem. It's an ego thing? Look at that. Johnny Depp's Kentucky horse farm fails to sell at auction. How much did that bitch go for?

2.9. Does it just happen no matter what? Like, look up. Scroll up and look at that picture of him. Does it just happen no matter what that after a while you almost become like a caricature? You become one of Tim Burton's characters? Yeah. I mean, you paint yourself as the odd fellow who's, you know, on the outside for the longest time.

And then all of a sudden you become this blockbuster guy. Because Johnny Depp for the longest time used to talk about, because he's a very respected actor. Hell yeah. And he used to talk about how he doesn't want to be Mr. Blockbuster guy. And then he gets on Pirates of the Caribbean. He probably just thinks it's a cool part. But it's still Disney. You know Disney don't fuck around. fuck yeah but it seems like a cool part I mean so was Alice in Wonderland that didn't fuck his life up Alice in Wonderland was just great good movie he was a

great movie and he was awesome in it amazing as the Mad Hatter I was the Mad Hatter for Halloween I dressed up like him I saw that that was sick but he's you know he's a legit brilliant actor and then all of a sudden he's in this blockbuster that's a disney thing so all of a sudden he becomes this like huge international just top of the food chain superstar bro he got a jack sparrow tattoo ew here's a jack he has the sparrow on his forearm how would you feel like if i had a fear factor tattoo on my leg? A big MTV sign on your neck. How about it right here?

I wasn't on MTV. Oh, that's right. But if it was on my thigh and it just said, Fear is not a factor for me. On your ribs, fear is not a factor. And you pull up in that slingshot. Just a real dick move. I would have to gold plate it.

I feel like that slingshot's missing some bling. Yeah. I need it to be shinier. Yeah, it's very weird. Yeah, sometimes, I don't know, man. With Johnny Depp, he just got too into it. Well, I just think, you know, when you're on something that you don't enjoy, it's one thing that does happen. It happens to a lot of people on bad sitcoms

that are making a ton of money. They just start going crazy and buying all these things, because they need these things to make them feel good because their work doesn't. And the material. Yeah. At least I'm working,

but I'm going to get that new Ferrari. That Ferrari 4, whatever the fuck it is. 4.59. Is that the newest one? Whatever it is. Keep going. The top of the food chain,

dope ass Ferrari. I mean, maybe you just like Ferraris, but then, you know, maybe you just buy a yacht. Maybe you buy a this and maybe you buy a that. And then you sign a deal to do the show that you don't even want to do anymore,

but you have to sign that deal now because you've got a $12 million mansion in Malibu overlooking the ocean, motherfucker. Doo-doo-doo-doo. Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo. I think, doesn't Johnny Depp have anyone in his life go, after four house, he goes, God, you know, I might chill out on the fifth one, man. No. You're not really even staying in the other ones.

This is just a theory. At 10, no one's like, 10, bro, I think we should take a break. At 14? Yeah. This is just a theory. But I think that one of the things about a guy like Johnny Depp is if you want, and I don't know this Amber Heard lady who he was living with. She seems nice enough to me. Very beautiful.

Matter of fact, I read somewhere that she was like some computer program said that she was the most beautiful person alive. That doesn't even make sense to me, right? Like symmetrically, I guess her eyes or something? I don't know. Yeah. Well, my computer's different. My thought is, well, she's beautiful. She's cool.

But my thought is, when you're a dude like him, and you got a girl like that, and you're having a great time, one of the great things to do is probably just buy a ton of shit and just impress this girl and just take her on this journey. What kind of hoe wants 14 houses? He's going crazy. Well, he didn't buy 14 houses with her. I'm sure he only bought a few. But he's going crazy.

He's buying all kinds of shit. And you think she loves that. This is what I think. I think things just escalate. I think things just escalate. I think things just escalate. Spiral out of control. Yeah. You get away from yourself.

Next thing you know, you're standing on the fucking red carpet with eyeliner on and silver chains and your shirt is open in your chest. And you're acting like you're in some crazy indie rock band and you're 53. You become a caricature. You're Jack Sparrow. You start dressing like what you think people want to see instead of you. And you kind of forget who you are, maybe. I mean, I'm not just saying just him. I'm not picking on him.

Well, did you see Jim Carrey's latest interview? Yes, I did. I was going to bring that up. He's playing it. Oh, were you? But he's getting ready for a character who acts like that. He's in character. That's not Jim Carreyrey he's don't even

run he's also my favorite human being one of them but he he's playing a character in that so he has a new role i forget who he's playing but the guys he just signed a they announced yesterday he signed a for a new show on showtime where he's playing a comedian that's freaking out later in life or something like that and that's what he's doing you know he was a part of the whole i'm dying up here thing he's a producer yeah what he's doing. He was a part of the whole I'm dying up here thing. He's a producer. Yeah. So he's playing a character of a comedian who's freaking out. Who freaks out like that.

Like that's typical to that role. So that's kind of what he's doing there. He was supposed to play, or at least there's a rumor, that he was supposed to play Terrence McKenna. In some sort of biography. The famed psychedelic adventurer Terrence McKenna. He'd be great on that. Oh, he'd be amazing on it. Did you see him as Andy Dufresne?

I'm sorry, Andy Kaufman? I was going to say this video went around of him painting, too. I'm going to fucking paint. Six minute. Yeah, he's got some really cool painting that he's been doing recently. It's a real cool little piece. That doesn't look recent. It looks a lot younger there.

I think this has been probably a two or three year time period that this got made over. Just a six minute video. Did you ever see his daughter? It's cool stuff, man. Yeah, no, he's a sick painter. That thing with the neon and black, go back to that for a second, Jamie. The thing with the neon and black, that he was just, that is amazing. Super talented.

That's really cool looking. Did you see his daughter when she was on American Idol? No. And the poor girl's getting ready to sing, you know, the biggest night of her life. Like, let's go and wire it in to her famous father, Jim Carrey. Jim's all, hey. He's like on Skype. He's like, hey, baby.

Good luck. They're like, take it away, little Carrey. I'm like, oh, God. What a shitty moment, man, for her. Like, let her have her moment, man. Don't bring your dad's Jim's jim carrey that's just television man that's how they do it they go 100 cheese or don't go at all yeah they just they want they want to appeal to joe slack jaw sitting on his easy chair at home just like this

but i feel like even joe slack jaw doesn't like that bullshit there's enough people that do and enough people that'll tolerate it see ratings beg to differ well they don't really they do still have good ratings it's just a tired show well it depends what it is like if you think about most shows like ratings are down in general but look at things where that are more organic and real right like your show like like other podcasts like other shows on youtube stuff like that where it's not so bullshit yeah producer telling you how to feel what opinions you should have but they're stuck in that model because they have commercials they're stuck in that model because they have to those commercials that they have to interrupt their show with like everything has to kind of wrap up every few minutes i mean i get it how many minutes do they go without commercials on a regular television show?

Oh my God. Well, Bubble Guppies lets you play the full thing. I used to like Bubble Guppies. My kids love it. Oh, my kid's obsessed. They loved it when they were really little. Let's find that out. On a 22-minute show?

Yeah. It's like seven minutes or so. Every seven minutes? Roughly. So every seven minutes for a sitcom, and do you think they do the same for an hour show? The breaks are different depending on the show, but it's like 12 minutes, 20 minutes. They're always going to be, you can never get real deep. What if they front loaded it like podcasting does?

No one's going to watch that part. No one's watching them anyways, are they? Sometimes they do that, like this show is brought to you commercial free by, and then you don't get it. But they still announce that every fucking time. That's probably the way to do it. That's probably the way to do it. That's probably the way to do it. Or product placement is a way to do it. Just don't be gross.

Ooh, product placement stuff. Yeah, you just can't be gross about it. I mean, if someone is drinking a Coke, show a Coke. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as it makes sense for the scene. You know what I mean? The idea that you're going to put stuff in there that doesn't belong for product placement, well, that's gross. But if you could figure out some way where it's organic...

I just think the model is terrible. That's what the world's heading to. It's so hilarious. Like that. He's all, what the fuck? Powerful Rob Lowe. Handsome. Very handsome. But I think they're going to start gravitating towards more of that realness.

They have to. People smell bullshit now. Yeah, but Joe Slackjaw sitting in his armchair in rural Illinois. Sorry to pick on you, Illinois. It's just I picked a state. I could say Massachusetts. Whatever. Montana.

But he's just sitting there, and he's got his mouth open. And maybe that appeals to him, And maybe you'll tolerate it. And then there's that whole spectrum in between. True. Of people that like, this is my favorite show. I love it when people can't sing. I fucking love it. I love it when they get up there and they try to sing and their voice cracks.

And you know they're embarrassed. Oh, that makes me feel so good. People do. I used to love it. When I'd watch American Idol, my favorite part was the people that sucked. Me too. That's my favorite. When they get all serious, that's like, oh, relax, man.

Hey, hey, I gotta go. All right, you're good. I'm out. Whatever happened to that lady who was like, she looked like she was in her 50s. Oh, and her teeth were all fucked up? Susan Boyle. That's America Got Talent? Which one is that?

X Factor in England. Was it X Factor? What happened to her? That's Simon Cowell, guys, on everything. That's America Got Talent? Which one is that? X Factor in England. Was it X Factor? What happened to her? Is that Simon Cowell, guys, on everything? He's ridiculous. I heard she got like crazy balling. Loves black girls. I heard, not that that matters, but I heard Susan Boyle got paid bank and was like, fuck

this fame thing. Whoa. Really? And someone was like, use some of the money on her teeth. Britain's Got Talent. Britain's Got Talent. Britain's got talent. Same with Syl Simon. Remember how great she was? Dude, remember when they just didn't expect it, and

she came out and just smashed it? Smashed it. I remember I watched that clip, and I was like, whoa. I know. That is crazy that she can sing that good. She is right now. It's her today. Whoa. She just turned 50. What? Hold on. She just turned 50? She's my age? Yeah. How's that possible? Well, that's crazy. That scares the fucking shit out of me. You're aging like cheese,

she's aging like fruit. Wow, she's gotta use it or lose it, baby. She's using her voice, man. Yeah. But what's she doing though? I'm sure she's still probably singing here and there. She doesn't tour. I know she kind of bounced out of the spotlight, though. Well, if she lives simple, you know. Or she made money. She probably made a ton of money. It's weight loss photos.

Oh, she's 56, son. So that was when that was. Can't even count. When she won, she was 50. We'll see what Brogan looks like in six years talking about that shit I'll probably look like her yeah all those

talent shows are fucking weird man you know America's Got Talent and what's the one with is it Jennifer Lopez

is on one of them now oh she has a dance show right and then that country music guy is on with that other girl. I'm about to bring back American Idol right now with Katy Perry hosting. They're paying her like $25 million to be on that. Oh, Jesus. They offer Kanye some crazy amount of money to host it.

He's like, hell no. He would be on. Donald Trump hates black people. How about Donald Trump going hard at ESPN? Yeah, but he's wrong. He's so wrong. People are leaving. No, their ratings are up. That's so crazy. Ratings aren't up. Are they down. Yeah, but he's wrong. He's so wrong. People are leaving? No, their ratings are up.

Like, that's so crazy. Ratings aren't up. Are they down? Yeah, they're down. Not because of that, though. Not because of him. People leaving cable. Oh, somebody said that their ratings are up, though. They're like recent ratings. Maybe. I just read things and I just go with them. NFL's back. I mean, they're just up because

the summer's over. But in general, they're down. Just in, you know, ESPN, they had all those cuts. They had to cut a bunch of people. Budget just up because the summer's over. But in general, they're down. They had all those cuts. They had to cut a bunch of people, budget cuts. They cut so much talent. But that, was it, what's her name? Jamel. Jamel Hill came out and was like, granted, she is an employee of ESPN,

but on her personal social media on Twitter, she was saying he's erased stuff like this. She said he's a white supremacist. And she said he's the worst president of her lifetime and a lot of people said that it's just the fact that she's a public media figure so everybody wanted her fired and this is like it's weird outrage culture we live in right she's entitled to her fucking opinion now the thing is does espn want people on their network being all political and talking about shit like that on their social media. And do they have rules about that? Because some companies do have rules about that. Whether you agree with those rules or not, some companies do have rules on what you can and can't say on social media.

But here's the thing that I found fascinating. Donald Trump didn't talk about her. Talked about ESPN. And I thought that was a chicken shit thing to do. Like there was a woman who works for ESPN. African American. Oh, yes, that's true. That's what I'm going to say.

There's a woman that works for ESPN, a very specific person, not ESPN, you know, telling lies, should apologize, or whatever the fuck he wrote. He didn't call her out. He didn't call her out. I think he's, he was like. He knows. You can't do it. Especially not now when everybody thinks you're a white supremacist.

You can't call. You got to pick on the black lady? He'd pick on Rosie O'Donnell all day long, right? He'll go after everybody else, call him a loser. The girl in Miss America in her little speech slammed him, too. She said a whole bunch of shit about him. Did you see this, Joe? Who's the host?

Is that Kirk Cameron? No, I don't know. Looks like Kirk Cameron. That's homeboy from Survivor. What? Who is it from Survivor? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Not from Survivor. From Bachelor Bachelorette. Yeah, I don't know. Looks like Kirk Cameron. That's homeboy from Survivor. What? Who is it from Survivor? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Not from Survivor.

Some bachelor bachelorette. Yeah, I don't know. You ever seen him get roasted when he's accused of cheating on his girl? Classic. Anyways. Yeah, that Miss America throws it down. Yeah, she said a bunch of shit about Trump, and no one's going after her necessarily. She's quote unquote gaining millions of fans right now.

Right. But what's interesting is I watched someone posted something about Anthony Bourdain. Anthony Bourdain was caught by TMZ at the airport, okay? Very quick sort of silly interview. They ask him a question. If you had to cook for Kim Jong-un and

Donald Trump, what would you serve? And he goes hemlock. And he walks away. It's a joke. It's a fucking one-liner. He's also funny. He's a a joke it's a fucking one-liner he's also funny he's a funny guy he says a one-liner and all these people are saying should he be fired from cnn for saying that he would poison trump if he had you know good luck the secret service is going to contact you and so i look at his fucking twitter page man and it's crazy all these fucking psychos are telling the Secret Service They should investigate it CNN are you gonna fire him like you fired Reza as long with people man outrage?

Oh, excuse me outrage culture people are getting excited about things being outrageous instead of just going This weed has got me coughing instead of just looking at it and going well I don't agree with that. Fuck that guy. Or going, well, that was obviously a joke, which is what the normal person would do. It affects you not at all. Do you really think that Anthony Bourdain wants to fucking poison Donald Trump and Kim John Owen? And they should lose their jobs?

Exactly. Like, Jamal Hill, she's amazing, by the way. She's a beast on this. Outrage culture. Outrage culture. People just decide they can try to affect something, and then things start getting ramped up. The momentum kicks in. All these other people jump on board, and they get excited about being a part of a group that wants to get Anthony Bourdain kicked off the air.

Because they want some sort of weird direction. They think they're important enough where they can get these people fired. And they think if they get together enough, they're going to have the power to affect that person's life. And they can even believe they're right. Bunch of bitches, right? And I kept saying, you know, threatening the life of POTUS. I kept saying POTUS. Wow, fuck off.

You guys, what are you talking about? The king? You guys are out of your mind. This is a person with a terrible job. Is he in Game of Thrones? Donald Trump is a person with a job that no one wants. Okay? That's what he is.

He doesn't want it. Is he doing a good job at it? No. But is anybody doing a good job at it? No. I think Obama's like the best president we ever had. And you look at, and I know people are going to get mad at me for this, and there's a lot of things that I think that he did that I don't agree with,

like the way he went after the press, the way he promised to protect whistleblowers but he never did. Like free speech and people having to give up their sources was damaged heavily during Obama's administration. The use of drones, unprecedented use of drones, unprecedented amount of civilian deaths during his administration. The question is how much of that was his fault? How much can one man even control? I mean, I think it's an impossible fucking job.

But the way he carries himself like a person, I loved more than anybody. His character is what I loved. The way he can himself, like a person, I love more than anybody. His character is what I love. The way he can enunciate clearly. To me, he was like a good representative of what I would like to see as a calm, peaceful, educated American who's smart and is just affable. He seems friendly and nice. He seems like one of us. He's the first president that kind of seemed like one of us where you could chill with him and I could actually relate to him. Yes, the only one.

You built Clinton. White House and a Dixie. I don't believe. I think if I was alone with Clinton, I probably wouldn't be able to jive with him. I just don't think. Especially if you're alone and there's a chick in the room, I think he'd look right past you. Yeah, you'd be like a distraction. You'd be the cock block with him in the room.

Yeah, I think. Obama's not like that. He's a straight up rooster. I think Clinton's a straight up rooster. Yeah, I'd be like a distraction. You'd be the cock block within the room. Obama's not like that. He's a straight up rooster. I think Clinton's a straight up rooster. Yeah, I feel you. He's in that room. He's like, He just can't help himself.

Yeah, cocky. He's just got that, he's slinging dick. That's what he's here for. That's what I'm here for. I'm here to sling dick. I got time to talk to some fucking old comedian. I'm here to sling dick. Oh, you were to some fucking old comedian. I'm here to slang deck.

Oh, no. You were a fan of me. You voted for me. Great. Get the fuck out. That was a long time ago, fuckface. Trying to get my dick wet. Listen, love to talk to you, but I ain't got that much time.

Have you looked at me lately, motherfucker? I'm dying. Okay? I'm here for pussy. And you're fucking this up, man. Fucking hilarious. That's exactly how I picture dying. Okay, I'm here for Posey. And you're fucking this up, man. Fucking hilarious. That's exactly how I picture it. I'm here for Posey.

If you've ever been on Air Force One, I still get to use it. Does he? I wonder if they still get to use it. They get Secret Service for the rest of their lives, right? Yeah, but how do they fly around? Do they fly around commercial? It seems odd. Although President Carter was on a train high-fiving everyone.

Yeah, but President Carter was a beautiful person That's why he only lasted one term You know, they've negotiated with the hostages Like in Iran To make sure that the hostages weren't released Until after Ronald Reagan was elected president That is some dirty Dirty shit

That means you kept Americans Imprisoned extra So that you would look good dirty shit. That's politics, son. That means you kept Americans imprisoned extra so that you would look good and they would be released when this fucking actor with slick black hair. Gotta crack a few eggs and make an omelette, my man. Jesus Christ. It's so dirty. None of that stuff surprised

me when it comes to politics or sports. None of it surprised me. It's all business. Reagan was also the first guy who used the religious groups of our country to get elected. He got them on board with him. Do what you got to do. Well, he brought in religion to politics in a lot of ways or made it popular and obvious that that was a good choice. Align yourself.

As being the president. Like no president today could be an atheist. I don't think they would elect him. I disagree. Really? What are they living for? They're out there in the White House. What if they launch a nuclear bomb?

They think the end doesn't mean anything. I'm here for God's heavenly glory. My heavenly father. I'm looking over my heavenly father right now. What's the percentage of atheists in the United States now? It's higher than ever. Yeah, but it's still low. I don't think so, man. It's higher than ever. Yeah, but it's still low. I don't think so, man.

It's higher than ever. Yeah, it's less than half. No way. Yep. Well, half. Fuck sakes. But I think it's less than half. Probably 30%.

Yeah, but you need those if you want to run for president because people are more concerned about the Lord than they are about anything else. Okay, 22% of the U.S. population is religiously unaffiliated. Atheists make up 3.1%. Agnostics make up 4% of the U.S. population is religiously unaffiliated. Atheists make up 3.1%.

Agnostics make up 4% of the U.S. population. So 22%. So it says that 22%, but it says they're religiously unaffiliated. Those are votes for the atheist president. But I don't know if that means religiously unaffiliated. Like they could believe in God, but they just don't belong to a certain church. Nah, we getting those votes. Okay, 214 general.

Yeah, those votes, I think, would go towards a religious person if the person believes in God. The 214 general social survey reported that 21% of Americans had no religion, with 3% being atheist and 5% agnostic. That's not even as much as I thought. It's not that many people, man. That's a bummer. You cannot be, I just don't think, I shouldn't say this in a blanket term, because maybe it can happen,

but I just think it's not a good strategy if you're just trying to get into office. Because Trump was never religious, and now he talks about God all the time. Now it's all, you know all God this and God that. It's a strategy. It's like words that you have to say, like ma'am and sir, that don't totally make sense to you. I heard the governor, or maybe he's the mayor of Florida, when the hurricane was about to hit.

I'm just balls deep in it on the hurricane stuff. He's in it, and he goes, you know what? Your money's great, but the big thing is you just pray for us. Just keep praying for us. That's all we need. We need your prayers before this thing hits. I'm like, dude, you better figure shit out. It sounds good.

And he was everything. Just keep praying for us. Just pray. That's all I ask. Everyone here pray for us. I'm like, man, you need more than that, brother. I get it. I get it.

Did it work, bro? Did you see this? I was going around yesterday afternoon? Facebook got in trouble after some people were digging into the advertising thing that was going around. Also yesterday with the algorithms, some people were looking into the Russian. I think someone uncovered that $100,000 had been paid to either some Russian ad agency or something. I didn't follow the exact story, but digging into that, they found this story that... Jew haters? What's the ad?

An algorithm created this tag to people and labeled them as Jew haters, and so someone could buy a targeted ad to them, and what I guess they were assuming is that Trump people did it or they were... Hold on. Hold on. You're not saying this right. Sorry. Explain this more clearly.

So someone could put an ad on your page? No, no, no. They can target. And hypothetically, yeah, I could put out an ad if I was buying for Hillary, for instance, in this situation, or for Trump. And target it towards people that were labeled as Jew haters. Were labeled as Jew haters. Only the Jew haters will see it. Within Facebook.

Okay. So Facebook has a category of Jew haters? And they're saying it was done by a computer algorithm, not by a person. It just sort of happened. What? Yeah, and that's what this is. It's still being uncovered right now. Yesterday Jew haters was trending on Twitter and I was like,

what is going on? That's why Facebook advertising is the best that there is for anyone. Because of the algorithms. Yeah, because you can pick out a certain demographic. If you have a show in San Francisco or in L.A., you can literally pick everyone in a 10-mile radius, and they will see that ad. But that is such a crazy thing.

So for a Jew hater, you can figure it out. Yeah, but what a crazy thing, the idea that you could reach a group of Jews. How about don't allow those people to be there? Don't let them make Jewish accounts. In the same vein, I was going to ask you a second ago, when you said you were looking at Anthony Bourdain's Twitter account, you saw a bunch of hate. Yeah.

Do you think that that could be bots? Let me correct that. It wasn't Anthony Bourdain's Twitter account. It was under the tweet by TMZ that showed the video. Then there was all the hate. But I'm sure they probably went to his. This makes it even easier to do then. You could specifically buy

that hate for cheap. Five bucks, ten bucks. You can buy that, but they also hire people that might be multiple trolls. What does that mean, buy that hate? You could send the messages that you want. You could set up a couple keywords and 500 accounts will just start sending those messages out. Fake accounts, like fake accounts?

Yeah, but how many people are going to go look through to find out how many of those accounts are fake? Okay, but do you have to write out the tweet for those fake accounts? No, no, no. It'll fill in the words. Holy shit. So how do you know if someone is doing that? Great question. They're finding that on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter. They're finding it everywhere on the internet right now. How do they know? Well, they can

tell by the algorithms and the computer programmers can figure it out. Can they? Fake accounts for sure. And that's why when Twitter and Instagram, they can do a flush of all those bot accounts. So you'll see a lot of people's followers like Kim Kardashian. She lost like 3 million because there are a bunch of bought accounts like fake accounts Well, there's so many fake shit. I thought she lost three million people saw her real ass

Good lord. Really? Did you see that? No, it's I've seen the porno. Did you see that Mexican disaster? No, she was on the beach in Mexico and she didn't have her own photographer. Here's the thing Do whatever you want. I don't want a body shame but there yes i do but let me just explain my position on this when which she shows when she shows all these pictures of her giant perfect ass she's showing an extremely unrealistic representation of a human being so what she does is she hires a photographer to follow her everywhere and take pictures and then they photoshop the shit out of. They cleaned away all the lumps and then she looks amazing. Right? So while she was on the beach, they were, they were taking pictures of her

and she didn't know they were there. That is a dumper. That's gross. That is a dumper. But here's the thing. That's not real. That is all fat that someone stuffed into your ass, like a giant diaper. That's not real. That is all fat that someone stuffed into your ass like a giant diaper. And when they smooth it out and put it on Instagram with all the retouches and everything like that, this forces women to think that this is possible, that this is normal. My girl's ass beats hers, by the way. But it's real.

It's real. And she's got a body that makes sense. And she makes her look like Mr. Burns' ass. If you have a giant head and then a tiny little nose, like one of them plastic surgery noses, people are going to go, hey, what's going on here? This isn't right. You did something weird. What she's doing is, it's not

only not hot, the problem is she becomes famous and then it becomes a thing that people do. Now here's, hold on. Remember when we were talking about wigs? Weren't you here when we were talking about powdered wigs? Was that you? Yeah, it was you and me. Big wigs. Think about that. These fucking guys with syphilis that were losing their hair and started wearing wigs, everybody started shaving their head and wearing those goddamn powdered wigs

because they looked like those guys. They wanted to be cool. You cannot hate on Kim Kardashian for making asses cool, my man. No. She's done us a service. How dare you? It's not a real ass. She didn't make asses cool. J-Lo made asses cool way before Kim Kardashian. I saw her ass in person.

And her shit was legit. Super legit. I'm tight. That's a real ass. This is a disaster. This is my problem with Kim Kardashian. Not my problem

with Kim Kardashian. Granted, she's influenced a lot of people and I would not kick her out of bed for even fucking Graham crackers. Look at those pictures.

Yeah, I know. Those pictures have been sent to a cartoonist. Yeah, whatever. They're not real. The problem is her sister, her little sister. So my nanny's daughter is always around our house. She's 12. She's in seventh grade.

Most girls, especially in middle school, high school, everyone looks at Kylie Jenner like she's a fucking, like she's Prince Diana. Like they think she's the shit. Have you seen what that bitch has gone through? It's insane. The plastic surgery said. Yeah. I've seen it.

You're talking complete reconstruction of her face, body, ass, titties, ribs, completely different person. Skull reconstruction. It's nuts, man. nuts man shaved her chin down yes and cheekbones to make her look like kim and her ass and they cut into the bone in her jaw when she was 16 what the fuck are we doing but now all these little girls look up to her like she's this huge role model and i asked her like why do you why why do you like her like just the life and then you know she she comes out with all this stuff.

She has Louis Vuitton. She's driving G-Wags and all this. And they think, oh, that's what I need to get to. Big wigs. Big wigs. It's the same thing. It's the same goddamn thing. It's those dudes wearing wigs that everybody sees and they think they're the shit and so they want to copy them.

That's why it's dangerous. A wig's different, though. It is, but it's not. Same theory. But it's the same theory. It's dangerous because- A wig's different though. It is, but it's not. Same theory. But it's the same theory. It's the same thing that happens to people. But what she's doing is bonkers. But it doesn't matter.

It becomes a trend and then people get sucked into that trend and she becomes important. Here's why I'm mad at myself. I'm not mad at her. Stop it all. I don't want to look at these pictures. Stop it, Jamie.

Yeah, for sure don't bring up hot chicks, Jamie. He's like, yes, they're talking gossip. Jamie's like me. I'm the one explaining all of it? Okay. He'll come in. Jamie will come in. He's like, yes, they're talking gossip. I'm the one explaining all of it? Okay. He'll come in. Jamie will come in to hear what happened with Beyonce and Jay-Z. I'll go, no! I'm with you, Jay. I'm with you, man. Beyonce and Jay-Z are apparently having issues.

Having issues? Did you hear the tweet? Kanye and Jay-Z are back together. Yes. Figured it out. Get him his fucking Ritalin. But with her, what's what's I get why people look at her and

go, she's beautiful. I'm mad at myself being like, God damn, she's fine. She's hot. She's not an ugly woman. No, no.

She's sexy now. You mean the young daughter? Whoa. I thought you're talking about Kim. Oh, no. Kim's great.

I'm talking about Kylie who I think she's 21. But before, you know, basic white girl, average flat ass white girl. Then now she's this video vixen. And I'm talking about Kylie, who I think she's 21. But before, basic white girl, average flat-ass white girl. Then now she's this video vixen, and I'm not mad at her. Didn't she think that grabbing that ass would be like a water balloon? Have you ever felt? No.

What's it like? Pretty glorious. Really? A fake one? No, no, no. Not if they have implants. But they can take fat from their stomach or their thighs, and they inject the fat into the ass.

No difference. Right. But when they waddle over to the bathroom and you see their ass going back and forth like a waterbed, doesn't that freak you out? No, I encourage you to do it. There was a video of, what is that? Iggy Azalea. Iggy Azalea.

Whatever her name is. There was a video of her shaking her ass and someone sent it to me. They go, dude, what in the fuck is this? Was it cool? No. She's wearing these skin-tight pants, and as she's shaking her ass, it's like, you ever try to fuck in a waterbed? Yeah, it's a nightmare.

Yeah, I had one when I was 21. It was a disaster. Me too. I had one as a kid. And then I swapped it out for one with baffles, which is actually pretty badass. A waterbed that is- Yeah, baffles are, it's not one giant bag. It's a bunch of tubes

I'll make sense when you get in there. It's pretty firm, but you feel the cool the warmth on the waterbed It's pretty dope, but you get and you can fuck with one of those but with the other one you get Fucking night, it's like trying to fuck while you're paddleboarding It's trying to fuck on one of those fuck on those vibrating machines. It's just. That's a fucking nightmare. It's like trying to fuck while you're paddle boarding. It's trying to fuck on one of those vibrating machines. It's just a nightmare. So that's what her ass looks like. She's shaking her ass and it's going back and forth and back and forth. It's like some crazy ass camel thing.

Like you're storing water in that thing. It's like a camel. It's like a camel hump. Storing fruit back there. She's storing water in it. It's like a camel. It's like a camel hump. Storing fruit back there. She's storing water in it. It's like there's something going on. It doesn't make any sense. Who's this?

I mean, I'm not. That's fine right there. That's not the video. That's a music video. It was a video of her dancing on stage. See, I wish I didn't like that stuff. Pink pants. Yeah, but this is like, this is a, you might as well

be looking at a cartoon. It's different colors, it's negative, you know. But that's the culture we live in, that's what we like. Not we, sir. You don't like big titties and big asses. I don't like that disaster, and I don't like the trend. I didn't ask that. You like big titties and asses.

I like CrossFit chicks. I like chicks that do squats and shit. I like chicks that look good. They look strong and healthy. That's what looks good to me. Like Callan strong and healthy type of chicks? Callan? Why? He's not here. Let's leave him out of this. Well, Callan loves the big, bulky, shredded

girl who, if she had a dick, you'd be like, oh, that makes sense. Yeah, no. I mean the girls that look like girls. You like fit girls. The girls who lift Who lift Yeah Me too I'm with that That way when you see Their ass You know that is

An earned ass That's not some Fat experiment Dr. Frankenstein's lab I don't have to picture you With a tube Running down your mouth To keep you alive

Yeah But you got a fucking You know your nose Is taped up And you're lying there With your eyes Rolled back in your head While they fucking

Popping into your ass Like a caulking gun. They're both at the same finish line, though. No, it's not. It's not. The woman doesn't look as healthy. They're not as vibrant. I hear you. You see, a woman that's in shape.

She has some calluses. Yeah, just like I'm sure like a man who's in shape. It's the same thing to people. Like people like things that are healthy. It seems like you're talking about sex, right? Well, sex, you don't want to have sex with someone who's sick, right? You don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't feel good. You don't want to have sex with someone who's like barely making it.

Like if you get a staph infection because someone's been pumping fat into your asshole and then all of a sudden you're feeling sad but you still have this big ass this big ass is that sexy no that's not fun. It's not exciting like you're looking at an unhealthy Person's body like you look at her body like that's not a working out body. She doesn't work out for she does She's working hard. That's a lazy person's body for sure for results They went and I'm not saying lazy person like mom that is a full-time job Listen if you can't work out. I'm not saying lazy person like, mom, that is a full-time job. Listen, if you can't work out, I'm not blaming you. If you don't want to work out, I'm not blaming you.

But if your fucking job is only to be a professional hot chick and that's your body. Bitch, you better work out. Yeah. You got to get on that horse. At least eat organic. That's what I'm talking about. I like that. I also love that. Woo.

I like a gal. I like a. I also love that. Woo! I like a gal. I like a gal who does some deadlifts. I like how she's using those pads to cover her shins. There's something gross about girls with scarred up shins. Unless they fight. Unless they do Muay Thai. Then it's kind of hot again. Even then.

Then it's hot again. Even then. Just gangster ass chick with shin scars. That was a good picture, Jamie. Fully redeemed himself. I feel like bodies should be earned in the gym. I mean, I just feel like pumping some stuff into your ass. What about titties then?

But it's a trick. What about titties? That's where I vacillate. Exactly, sir. This is where I find holes in your game. But here's the thing. You can't earn titties. That's why I let it go.

Because you can't earn them. You can earn an ass. Well, kind of. It's some genetics. A little bit. A can earn an ass. Kind of. Some genetics. A little bit. Some of it's genetics. Yeah, but I mean, come on. Let's just be honest about what we're talking about here. For the most part. You can do some squats and deadlifts and lunges, build that ass up.

Even the genetics thing. How much? You could probably affect it. You might not be able to get to J-Lo levels, but I bet you get to pretty perky levels. Sometimes. I don't know. I don't know who's doing what. I don't know how they're working out. I don't know if they don't know either. I don't know who's doing what. I don't know how they're working out. I don't know if they got a good trainer. I don't know if they lift heavy.

Yeah, I'd have to see their program. Yeah, you'd have to see their program. You'd have to find out what their diet is. People make a lot of goddamn excuses. True. They really do. But sometimes genetics are genetics. Like Jamie's not going to get as big as fucking Yoel Romero.

It's just not in the cards. 100% true, right? Genetics do come into factor. But when you just blame genetics for everything, it's like, okay, but did you work? How hard did you work? Did you try did you advance at all like where was your starting point? Where are you at now and how much effort did you put in along the way you're cool with titties because oh? That's a real woman's ass She is so real. She's 40 how old she 80 85 years

She's 50 you know what the good thing about that you can shoot loads in there all day long and nothing's happening. All day long. No one's home. Yep. Game over. I think they're about to have a kid or they're trying to. No. A-Rod and her?

They're trying to. Everybody's trying to. You're all practicing. I would try. I saw her at the fight and I was like, I would impregnate her right now and figure it out. No, she's probably still viable for another four or five years. With her genetics? Yeah. Dude, she is a straight it out. No, she's probably still viable for another four or five years. With her genetics? Yeah.

Dude, she is a straight smoke show. Yeah, that's superior genetics. She never- That's Latina superior genetics. Correct. But also hard work. She works out hard, man. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever seen her dance routines and all the stuff that she does? She works out hard. 100%. Yeah, I mean, she's a professional hot chick who's also a singer, who's also an actress. She has talent. These other girls who come out do not. Right. But she also works hard.

See? Super hard. That's what I think. That's sexy. Yeah. And that's what I think. If you want to aspire, if you want to be a man, right? You want to be built like the rock, right?

I see the rock on the fucking Instagram in the gym every goddamn day we're out here we're getting it done you know nobody works harder all right have a good day everybody he's like all inspiring and shit he's jacked to the fucking gills he looks huge right that is clearly but that's an earned physique there's not stuff in fucking silicon plates in his muscles to puff him up he's not injecting synthol in there to look like one of them crazy Popeye dudes. He's injecting other stuff, though. It's a form. But he's working out hard.

True, to get there. He's working out hard. I don't know what his test levels are. They're probably elevated. But he's working. He's working out hard. How the fuck can I do you? The point is, even with drugs, that's accessible.

It's still hard work. Yes, and it's still a real muscle. Yes. Where I draw the line. Look, if girls could take a steroid that made them grow an ass, there wouldn't be a flat ass on the planet Earth. Only in England. There would be no girls.

The difference between girls and men is that. Because there's a lot of guys who don't want to take steroids. They're like, fuck that. I'm not going to do that. Most of them don't. If steroids existed for women's asses who would be as common as Botox, they would all be jamming it in there. Even more

common. Even more. It'd be like Keir Dye. It'd be like Keir Dye. Yeah. Every girl would have a fat ass. If you could afford it. If they could figure out a way to break, like I was driving down the street the other day, I saw a sign that said Botox, $12. God dog, that's a deal. For sure, don't go there.

They will give you Bell's palsy. Half the time you're like, ooh. So you had a stroke? That's apparently a very tricky process. You got to know when you're shooting that stuff. Fuck yeah. I saw a deal for LASIK eye surgery. Buy one, get one.

Oh, no. In Venice, buy one, get one. No, you cannot do that. You cannot skimp on your eyeballs. Please go to a reputable laser eye surgeon. Buy one, get one next to the week clinic. You don't want a deal on an eye surgery. You do not want a deal on eye surgery, ass surgery.

Or ass implants. Or tattoos. Did you hear about that one person that got arrested? They were giving people ass jobs, and they were pretending to be a doctor, and they weren't a doctor, and they were shooting all kinds of stuff into people's asses. They were giving people ass jobs and they were pretending to be a doctor and they weren't a doctor and they were shooting all kinds of stuff into people's asses. They were shooting cement. Cement into the ass

of these people. Oh my god. God damn. What's wrong with people? People are crazy. They're crazy. It's Kim Kardashian. I blame Kim Kardashian. She's a big reason. Cement ass. That lady's working at Walgreens like fuck I don't look like Kim Kardashian. You grab her ass and you literally feel a rock of cement. And they're like, what?

Do you have a tumor? Do you have cancer? Is this a fucking kidney stone that didn't pass? It got lodged up in your ass cheek? It's nuts, man. It made its way through your hip and just lodged itself. But here's the thing. With titties, I'm all about them.

I'm all about implants. We go back to the thing. You cannot earn big breasts. I'm all about them. I'm all about implants. We go back to the thing you cannot earn Big breasts you can't earn them. So what about guys with calf implants? They celebrate that no John Jones doesn't need them John Jones needs him and he doesn't need him. How about that? Well, John Jones has the calf of an ankle And he doesn't doesn't care not like a Samoan ankle Here's the calf of like a white girl ankle. By the way, there's a glorious picture of Mark Hunt with a fanny pack that I put on Instagram today. And a Hulk Hogan stash.

Yeah, how about that fanny pack, though? Yeah, that fanny pack's pretty gangster. So please, buy, support. Mark Hunt's new book is out now. Yeah, look at that. It's a fucking camo fanny pack. Extra points! He's so gangster.

He's the most gangster guy ever. I do love that stash. You know, I saw... He's a scary gentleman. An article, though, an interview they did with him that was very sad and disappointing. You know, it's like he was talking about his... About his upbringing? No, no, no.

That was terrible, too. That's a rough story. He overcame that. It wasn't about that. It was about his brain damage Oh, really? What was he saying? Saying he's already starting to slur his words and forget things. That mustache and fanny pack shows me that I look for signs that when I saw the mustache and that fanny pack was glorious You can't be afraid of the fanny pack. I wear a fanny pack every day when I run. Do you? I don't wear it to the goddamn supermarket Like a psycho. I do. I do. They make sense though when you think about them they're awesome i just don't i just don't

you should but so he was saying it i'd be down okay i'll give you one all right thanks bro uh he was saying that he has brain trauma yeah no shit sir yeah no shit for sure we know but he was talking about it that he's slururring his words and is having trouble remembering things. But he also said he was born to do this. This is what he's supposed to do. And if he dies doing this, he'd be fine with that. But there's a caveat to that. He said, if I die in the ring, like I want to die in the ring, go out on my shield.

But it better not be from someone who's on PEDs. Yeah, and that's a really good point. Four people out of the last five people he fought have either tested positive for PEDs. Yeah, and that's a really good point. Four people out of the last five people he fought have either tested positive for PEDs or tested... No, I think it was all PEDs because it was Brock. All of them. It was Alistair's test positive in the past for PEDs.

Verdum. And Bigfoot. And JDS right now is on... Yeah, but that's just a diuretic. But I'm just saying as far as failing tests. If you just go by failed tests, almost every – if you look at Mark Hunt's career and you went through and went – guys that have tests positive, you're like, oh my – no wonder he's infuriated at people.

And he has brain trauma. He's also superior genetics. Like Mark Hunt's genetics are insane. Like his ability to take a punch for years was ungodly. You would see him get hit and you'd be like, this doesn't even make sense. He took Crow Cop head kicks, bro. What are you looking at? What are you showing me? Ah, let's just go

through them. Crow Cop, Antonio Silva. Silva is tested positive. Did Verdum test positive for something? Yes. Verdum, when did he test positive? A while ago. Okay, so not Stipe.

Make sure that's right, Jamie. I'm almost positive. Stipe is 100% legit. Stipe is as clean as a gum. There's Bigfoot Silva again. How dare you. He had a draw with him the first time. He crushed him the second time.

Because the second time, USADA was involved and Bigfoot Silva wasn't on the juice. The first time Bigfoot Silva was on the juice, he tested positive. Not only that, he tested negative before the fight and positive after the juice. The first time Bigfoot Silva was on the juice, he tested positive. Not only that, he tested negative before the fight and positive after the fight, which means he juiced himself up before the fight. And they had that incredible epic five-round war. You remember that fight? It was amazing.

It was so epic that Dana White had a bunch of Mark Hunt, Bigfoot, two. They made, like, for two. Before two ever happened, they printed up the jackets for two, and he sent me one. And I was like, dude, I'm all in. That was one of the craziest fights of all time.

And then a week later, Bigfoot tests positive. And he's like, this dumb motherfucker. Like, this could have been, like, this incredible. Yeah, I mean, it was just. Anthony Joshua Klitschko style. Incredible, incredible matchup, right? So he tests positive, and then USADA's on his ass. Then they come back for the second fight,

and Mark Hunt just smokes him in the first round. I mean, just ran through him. But you just look at him. So you got Bigfoot, JDS, he's having his issues. Then you got Ben Rothwell busted. What I was going to say, though, is if anybody legitimately has a reason for using steroids, it's Bigfoot. Because Bigfoot has real gigantism.

And he had a tumor removed from his pituitary gland. Like, his body doesn't produce testosterone right or any hormones right. His body's a wreck. This is a gray area. No, it's not gray. He had a tumor. He had to get brain surgery. He had a tumor on his pituitary gland.

I'm aware of that. Look at him. So even if you give him TRT, you'd have to regulate so much where he doesn't have such an advantage. I'm not saying you should. Because him without it is awful. He can't even compete. I'm saying more than that, maybe you shouldn't be able to compete.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Maybe this isn't the business for you if you have to have testosterone to compete. Unless you want to go to Russia or Japan. It's what he's doing. And he's getting murked out there. Oh, well, he's probably done. I mean, he's had so many crazy, crazy fights.

But he was the first guy to TKO Fedor. Remember that shit when he mounted him? Remember when Fedor went for that ankle lock and his just giant fucking finger going like this? And then just did what it was done because fedor in all seriousness should have been a 205 pounder he's just a tank who's just unbelievably talented and ridiculously skillful in his uh his execution and just figured out a way to win was lightning fast and fucked a lot of people up. But God damn it, could you imagine if he got himself in ferocious shape at 205? Nuts, man.

I can't imagine. Dude, he was only like 240, right? Yeah, 230, right? 230. 230, 228. And a good solid 20 pounds of fat. 100%. Yeah.

So he's really like 218, which ain't shit to cut to 205. What? Anthony Johnson goes, what? Yeah, if he changed his diet, who knows? He might literally be like 207. Yeah. You know, if he lost all that weight. Explosive in shape.

Yeah, he's got a real belly and a side gut. Straight up like Russian dad gut. Yeah, I mean, that might be 25 pounds. You know, I mean, he literally might be like 210. Back to Mark Hunt, and this is bothering me. I gotta get this out. So he says, hey, I see signs of brain trauma, right? Like I'm slurring my words speech.

Then isn't he a main event next month? Yeah. Like at what point does, when you hear that, does the UFC and the commission go, oh, whoa, whoa, let's stop. Let's stop. Let's stop. Yeah. You're slurring your words.

Who's he fighting? That Russian cat. Oh. He's ranked like 11. Right. Not a big fight for fucking Mark Hunt. I'd love to see Mark Hunt versus Francis. Which Russian guy?

Is it Tubura? I forget. There's so many goddamn Russians now. He's right named from Russia. Russians are taking over the world. Yeah. That Russian guy that stopped Stefan Struve. That's pretty goddamn impressive.

Yeah. And he had the Moana tattoo of Stingray on his back. That's right. The identical Moana tattoo that the grandma has. Big fan. Yeah, I guess. You're welcome. The identical Moana tattoo that the grandma has. Oh, he's a big fan. Yeah, I guess. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Another rock movie. Yeah, Marcin Trabora. That guy's a badass. He's got a sweet left high kick. Doesn't do much for Hunt. From Orthodox. Yeah, it just doesn't. You know what I'm saying?

If you're Marc Hunt, you're like, all right, I'll do it. At least I'm the main event in Australia. But at what point do we have someone where we have a guy like the golden snitch in the UFC who's watching out for that stuff? He's going, man, saw Mark Hunt do an interview. He has some real issues, man. You know? Someone to look out to take care of these guys.

Because Mark Hunt wants to go out on his shield. I don't want to watch Mark Hunt in 10 years shitting his pants and drooling and doesn't remember his fight career. Right. I don't give a fuck if he beats that Russian guy in Australia. He has nothing to prove. Yeah. What's it do for him? Well, at a certain point, you have to have some sort of a regulation that stops people from hurting themselves when they've taken too much damage and they can't make good decisions anymore.

Right? But then it becomes a personal freedom issue. Free will. Right? Because there's a certain amount of damage you're going to take. Like, there's fights that probably shouldn't get made. Like Francis Ngannou versus almost anybody. Almost anybody just agreeing to getting your fucking head scrambled.

Yeah. You know? I mean, I want to see what happens with Alistair. I want to see if Alistair can survive. That's a scary fight for Alistair. Yeah, because Ngannou clips him once, and Alistair could be in deep, deep trouble. But also, Francis has never fought a striker, a high-level striker, let alone the best of all time in the heavyweight division.

But he doesn't have the same chin, so it's an interesting matchup. He's fast, too, man. He's scary fast. Alistair or Francis? Francis. Well, Alistair's clearly fast, too. But Francis, all he has to do is touch that chin once. True. Francis puts people to sleep. I got to see him do it at a high level.

I do too. Like a really high level before I jump on the train. I think he has the capabilities. Right. When you watched it with Arlovsky, Arlovsky is already down the slope. He's already sliding way down. He's been knocked out who knows how many times. He's been down the slope, yeah. He's been down the slope. He's already sliding way down. He's been knocked out who knows how many times. He's been down the slope, yeah.

He's been down the slope. So that was impressive. It was a good test because Arlovsky still knocked out Travis Brown just a couple years ago. He still can fuck you up. In that barn burner.

Yeah. Still can fuck you up. If you fuck up... True. I'm just saying that... He fucked up Bigfoot too. Yeah. That's true.

That was a while ago though, Joe. It was. He went on that tear and now it's over. Yeah. Well, Steve A. Yeah, while ago, though, Joe. It was. He went on that tear, you know, and now it's over, but Yeah. Well, Steve A. kind of ended that. Yeah, Steve A. ended that. But a guy like I think JDS would be a good test for him. Alstrover, Reem, would be pretty good.

Yeah. No, for sure. Look, it's a great test. Then I'm on board. Because right now, to be honest, we need him. We need a young killer like a guy to bring some life into the heavyweight division. He just has everything going as far as like his ability to knock guys dead, his look. I mean, he's just jacked.

He's so thick. His ability is going to be tough until his English gets better. Oh, uh-oh. I don't think so. Really? Chet Conley is coming out of the corner. What did you say, Joe? If he starts murking people at heavyweight and you get a highlight reel, the heavyweight

champion of the world. Stipe's murking people? He's from Cleveland and he's not a draw. I don't understand it. He's murking everybody. heavyweight, and you get a highlight reel, the heavyweight champion of the world. Stipe's murking people. He's from Cleveland, and he's not a draw. I don't understand it. He's murking everybody. I don't understand it. Is it a marketing thing? 100%?

So they haven't done it right? No, no. I'm not blaming the UFC. The public has to jump on. The public. It's not the UFC. I mean, Stipe's doing his thing. UFC's doing their thing with him.

But sometimes the stars don't align where you become this crossover pop culture icon fighter. Fake ass public. They're like, ah, white guy standard. What? He's a firefighter though. Standard. But he's knocked out everyone. Standard.

Ah, fuck you. How is that standard? It's just people want, you know, and, but he's real humble and, you know, well-spoken and he's not cocky. So they don't, we're drawn to negativity. We're drawn to the John Jones and the Conor McGregor. They want that kind of, that hot take on them. Yeah, but Conor wasn't really negative.

He's not negative, but he talks a lot of shit. He's going to give you a hot take. Steve Bay's not giving you a hot take. He's working his ass off, training hard to win the fight. Isn't that crazy that, well, with Conor, the thing that's so sensational about him is he has both of those things. He has fighting ability, and he also has this crazy personality that's magnetic. Yeah, you're a unicorn. Where Stipe just has the fighting ability and just, I don't know, I just love his work ethic.

I love the fact that he still has a fireman gig. I love it, man. Knocking people dead. Just your heavyweight champion of the world is not a draw, which is insane. Yeah. I know. And even if Francis knocks out Alistair, knocks out Stipe, there's no way he's a draw. Yeah.

There's just these, and I don't have the formula. Trust me. The UFC would hit me up if I did. There's this weird superstar soup, and you have a few ingredients, and you're missing. We don't know what the others are, but guys hit it. Yeah. You hit it almost by chance. Yeah.

They just come around once every now and then. Conor wasn't like that early in his career. Not at all. He was just good. Not at all. He was just a great fighter. He was just looking promising, and then all of a sudden he gets to the UFC. He feels the crowd, all the Irish people behind him,

and he starts just talking shit and going off, and then people love it, and he talks more shit, goes off more. Then he starts predicting what round he's going to merc people in, and starts pulling it off and then he's like who the fuck is that guy and everybody goes crazy and and then think about john john didn't get really mainstreamy espn coverage good morning america till he went bad then people are like oh i want to see that badass fight and he's been amazing for how long he had had a press conference that he said what I've always said. He said at the end of the day, he goes, about him, I've always said about him. He goes, at the end of the day, I'm a bad motherfucker.

I'm a wild motherfucker. That's what I want. And that's what I do. Perfect. At the end of the day, that's what he said. At the end of the day, I'm a wild motherfucker. I'm like, that's what I've been saying. That's it, brother?

Yeah. Run with that. I told him that, too, when I talked to him about it. You know, and he wanted to have a conversation before he did the podcast. And, you know, he wanted to come clean. I go, dude, you're going to make mistakes. You're a wild motherfucker. It's okay.

You don't get to be as good as you are without being a wild motherfucker. You don't have to apologize for it, though, John. If he came out and went, listen, man, hell yeah, I'm going to make some mistakes. And I probably am going to make a lot more. I'm a wild motherfucker. I'm the baddest dude on the planet. This is what you get, love it or hate it. Drop the mic.

You just can't do things that hurt people, like the driving fucked up and smashing into that lady's car. You take away the things that hurt people, and you just out party and have a good time and occasionally do blow. Nobody's going to care. I don't give a fuck. That's a great guy. That's a fun guy. It's like you've got to make sure you avoid hurting other people and then this this steroid thing is the goddamn that's the knife in the heart like this like i said you got

you gotta you gotta look into the straddle ball stuff with it with the baseball all these guys who have all these problems and at gnc it's in all these supplements i saw that and again i've been roasting john bad because i'm upset i'm mad at him because he's my favorite fighter. Right. One of them. So it is possible that he could have taken something that's trace elements of this. I've also seen that other things are recognized as that stuff in the test, but I have a hard time believing that USADA wouldn't know that. I know.

Me too. So I have a hard time. Once they come clean with this, they come out with this, I don't think it's ever been proven once that they said that a person had tested positive for something and that that person had never actually taken that thing. I don't, I've not seen that once. Oh no, you saw it as so thorough. Listen, man, if you have the golden snitch on your trail, you're fucked. He's like Sherlock Holmes of PEDs.

You are so fucked. And again, just fucking dead calm about it not judgmental just the facts going over the details this is what bothers this is what bothers me a little bit and why i'm going back and forth on john if my career was in jeopardy i would be out there being like listen this is what fucking happened man hear me out i'm not radio silent, sending these weird cryptic tweets, doing this. Even if my manager's like, dude, let's wait. I'm doing a press conference. Like, listen to me right now, man.

Maybe I took this supplement. I've never done steroids in my fucking life. That is bullshit. Yeah, but you can't say too much if it's going to go to some sort of an arbitration or a trial. I don't know what the process is. You can if you didn't take it. But here's the thing. He's got to find out if there is a way that something happened.

A loophole? Maybe it's you. Okay. Say you take something from GMC and maybe you take a bunch of shit and you thought everything was good and then you get tested positive. Before you say anything, I never took steroids, you have to find out what the fuck it is was in those those things so you have to report those things and then they have to check

and then they have to independently buy those things from a shelf from somewhere else to do confirmation yeah and that's a process and it's one of the things that Jeff Nowitzki said you gotta let the process play out before you start accusing John so there'll be a process.

I'm just saying, man. It's not good. A sample and B sample, it's not good. It's not good. I just think it could go a long ways with his fans and everything going on if he came out and was just like, let me tell you guys, you're going to hear this. Because the public right now, we see test A, test B, both positive. Oh, fuck, steroids.

He's dead to me. But if he came out. You need to look at the tweet where he's said that he never took steroids and his Heavenly Father Remember he capitalized Heavenly and Father so skeptical so fuck off fuck off. Yeah, that actually made me going Hmm he was on steroids, huh? Yeah, me too. I was like god damn it when you put all right You clear that when he went Heavenly Father. I was like, oh. All right, you're a bad guy. John, you were on the juice. He's a bad guy. How about John does this and we're all like, oh, fucking the worst.

Greatest of all time, my ass. Then Brian Cushion, I don't even know how to know football. Brian Cushion, captain of the Houston Texans. He's been caught, I think, two or three times before. Straight up test positive for PED, like straight up steroids. And he's a monster. Linebacker. He gets tested again and I think you're banned? He's gonna

miss like 10 games? Docked $4 million of his paycheck? The media doesn't make nothing about it. This guy's a superstar. Football. Of course they're on steroids. Everybody who's 360 pounds of solid muscle is on steroids. But how crazy that we just give them a write-off.

They shouldn't be testing those guys. It's ridiculous. But he's playing a position, too, where he hits guys. He's taking years off their life. He's giving them brain trauma, and he's rocking them jack to the gills. That's what people want to see. If you want to see football, you want to see big giant guys colliding

with each other. You don't want to see natural athletes who are out there trying to pound whey protein in the middle of the night. Where do you want to see natural giant guys colliding with each other You don't see natural athletes who are out there like trying to fucking pound whey protein in the middle of night Where do you want to see natural athletes? Not in the UFC Hate to tell you I hear you Most of those guys aren't Right, I hear you

But there's weight classes in the UFC and that's where it gets different Because you're talking about guys trying to get as big and as fast and as powerful as they can And we've all known forever, you ask the average person Do football players take PEDs? They'll be like, of course they do of course they do you're looking at these mountains well most people assume you have c-fires on pds like i've had some talks and what did we say i know i mean i know there's a giant percentage but but there's a different standard way less are now but i think for the longest time 42 supplements including some that are available at GNC,

can trigger a positive test for Toronto Ball. Yeah, this is that Fox Sports article, yeah? Baseball officials said the Cubs, again, were reminded this week that players should use only supplements certified by NSF International and independent organization that test and approve products. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So there's a lot of shit. Look, the union, however, is concerned about the run of suspension of

Toronto ball and continues to seek evidence that might shed light on why some players are testing positive because so many guys are testing positive for it. Well, isn't this a short-acting drug, though, that's out of your system fairly quickly? I think that was the thing about this stuff. Or is that not true? There's even debate on that though, Joe.

Yeah, why did I see something that said it had a 60 day window? I've seen months, I've seen weeks, I've seen days, I've seen hours. Again, we don't fucking know, do we? It's been explained to me the stuff that gets out of your system the quickest is those little edible testosterone things. Like the gummies and stuff?

Yeah, but those are just a few hours. And a few hours are out of your system. The other thing, just like we're doing now with baseball, like Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, at the time we're like, oh my God, PEDs, home runs, that doesn't count. Years go by, we're like, nah, those guys are still pretty fucking good. Even the pitchers were sauced up. I think that could happen with John too. Like five, 10 years, he's the greatest of all time still

Yeah, but no because Daniel Cormier wasn't sauced up Daniel Cormier was totally on the natch You don't believe that I don't know I assume he is no I assume he is I have no idea I have no reason not to I don't know anything in this world anymore when I know right well You know you gotta think man I don't know anything in this world anymore when it comes to PDs. Well, you know, you got to think, man. Your health's on the line. Your future's on the line. Your career's on the line.

You've been out of the game for essentially two and a half years plus. One fight in between there, the OSP fight. But he's been out of the cage for a long time. You got to fight the best in the world, DC. You got to fight the best in the world. Skeptical hip. Yeah, that's me, dog. You got fight the best in the world, DC. You gotta fight the best in the world. Skeptical hip-husher. Yeah, that's me, dog. You got all this pressure

on you. And you just go, just a little bit. Just get a little bit. A little bit of help. I don't know if you need that help if you're John. Might not. Might not need it. Maybe go to the club, do a couple lines of coke. That's his help. Maybe it's one of those things where he's always used it.

Got away with it. Now he didn't. Maybe it's one of those things where he's always used it, got away with it. Now he didn't. Maybe it's he took a supplement that had it in it. I mean, we really don't know. It's one of the things that Nowitzki stressed that I really believe. You got to kind of before casting 100% judgment on him, you got to let it play out. But this is the thing. When you say let it play out, again, I know I'm playing both sides of the field here, but when you say let it play out, we know he has a history of fucking up yeah you're gonna hang him before it's actually

come out because we go no he's consistently good at beating people up and fucking up and here's another fuck up yeah that's a good way of looking at it yeah that's why that's why everyone's like nope he's done to me well it's depressing to to us as fans because he's so fucking good. And to know that he's going to be out possibly for four years now, that shit's just devastating to me. We need him. I know people go, no, we fucking need him.

He was going to fight Stipe for the heavyweight title. You fucks. Stipe didn't even know about that. Well, now you know. And that would have been a tough fight for Stipe. And then he was going to fight Brock Lesnar. Gustafson, Oztamer, DC, there's so much out there. Dude, Jon Jones versus Stipe for the heavyweight title would be gigantic.

Might as well talk about fucking dragons and Jon Snow. It's because neither one of them is happening. It's interesting, right? It's like what your theory about the Fertitta is pumping it up with Reebok and with USADA and then just to sell that's science son what do you mean theory but it's a very good theory that I haven't heard before oh word I never heard it is your theory entirely your idea I did I mean it's it's evidence it's just right but the evidence was always there yeah always you just put two and two together what they're doing. It's that's genius I mean if they really played at that that 3d chess, that's fucking genius 100%

That's what they're doing, but it really is so smart man. If you just bought it and you were WME you probably effort T does this Is your SATA thing Um, this, uh, this USADA thing. 100%. What are we doing with this? Yeah. Yeah.

You're going, hold on. Is there, how long has it been? I don't know what their deal is with USADA, because USADA's an employee of the UFC. Let's find out. We realize that, right? Find out what, how long the deal is with the UFC and USADA. Let's take a guess. 10 years?

These 10 years? You can't do 10 years. 10 years in a guess 10 years? These 10 years? You can't do 10 years 10 years in a rectal sport Golden Snitch can be buying 14 houses if it's 10 years But what happens if they abandon it And all of a sudden everybody just comes Like Eric Silva comes back Jacked

Ratings go Everybody Alistair jacked Alistair goes back to being Uber Eam All he has to do is pass the one at the weigh-ins That's it We're going Sizzler They better pray to God the Golden Snitch contract runs out in the next two years All he has to do is pass the one at the weigh-ins. That's it. We're going Sizzler.

They better pray to God the Golden Snitch contract runs out in the next two years. You bringing that Russian cat from Icarus? You bringing it. Icarus, whatever it is. You bringing everybody and anybody. All the Russians. They're the best at it. All of them.

Bring them in. This guy had this dude on a protocol. I fell asleep while I was watching. I only watched the first 15 minutes. Then I went to bed. I'm going to watch the rest of it tonight. I've heard about it. But he was banging like five different things in his ass. These like amber liquids.

It looked like Jack Daniels. Was the guy Jack? No. No, he's a cyclist. He was a very thin, slim guy. That's what they do. But he just started doing this. He just started doing this while he was listening to this guy. And I guess the idea is that they're going to test him and they're going to give him PEDs forever and he's going to test clean.

Oh, that's sick. Yeah, yeah. I need to see the whole thing. Like I said, like 15, 20 minutes into it, I had to shut it off. Yeah, if you're WME, you're looking at that going, when's that contract up? When's the Reebok deal? You're literally going, you're going to tear it down and go, let us do it like you guys got it to this point. Right. Like, this isn't working for us now.

Yeah, those are two ideas that look good. To sell to another company and make it legit. But the thing is, like, if you can get a better deal, like, right, you have a deal with Reebok, it goes for so long, and then if it's profitable for Reebok, then Adidas comes in and goes, hey, we like what you're doing here, let's switch it up. Let's go Adidas. And then you have a bidding war between Adidas and Reebok, and then maybe Nike thinks about it, too.

And, you know, if you can prove that you're cleaning the sport up, right, with USADA, that's a very smart move to get a big company to invest in the sport. That's why you do it. But the big company has to see some sort of a payback. That's why people were pissed off because they were like, well, the sponsorship doesn't match what we were getting before, and, you know, I know you had a real issue with that. It was a big, like, $100,000 plus a fight.

Yeah, that was the biggest issue. I like the uniform system and make it look like a professional sport. But if you're going to bring in a major sponsor like that and then cut down on guys' pays, then you're fucking the product. You're fucking the fighters. Yeah. And what you don't realize is you're actually fucking Reebok. Yes.

As the UFC, as the middleman, you're screwing Reebok because no one had any issues with Reebok. They were owning the CrossFit world. They were doing things. Actually, I have no issues with Reebok. I talked to a representative from Reebok the other day. He wanted to send me a fight kit. For who?

Ioana? I forget who. Does it say? He said they have new boxing shoes and some shorts. He wanted to send me one. I'm like, all right, cool, man. I would like Ioana's fight kit so I could spell her name. I want mine.

How much, if I gave you $10 million, do you think you could spell Joanna Jacek's last name? Nope. Nope. Nope. Not even close. I bet she can't even spell it. Get her together. She's like, who it is this?

What is this? This is Z or S. You found something, Jamie? No, I don't see anything. I just see that it's just a program they started together. So they can cancel at any time, maybe? I would imagine they probably could. No, they have a contract.

It doesn't say that they have a long term. This is USADA or Reebok. The only thing I found is that the UFC has committed millions of dollars to in and out of competition testing. You know what I do? To bring in for the UFC, to bring in a big sponsor like Reebok like that's a good way to ensure that you got a clean sport that you represent

you want to represent a clean sport you know that's why that fighter the other night when Gavin Tucker fought um god damn it

I sure are Tucker because he's you know he's the guy who took the beat down right yes with that ref

right that ref that stopped the fight this guy is that Mitch supposed to be the M No He looked great though

Rick Glenn Rick the Gladiator Glenn Yes yes Rick Glenn Two first names Fantastic mustache Rick Glenn Two first names

Rick Glenn beat the shit out of him Beat the brakes out of him Like way too much It was like That fight should have been stopped Like minutes before Horrible Yeah

It was not good Like when you see that Like if I was Reebok I'd be like Hey this guy can't do We can't sponsor a fight With this guy as, if I was Reebok, I'd be like, hey, this guy can't do, we can't sponsor a fight with this guy as a ref ever again. Reebok doesn't know the sport that well to do that.

Whatever. They know it now. You know what I'd do if I was in the UFC, if I'm WME? I get rid of the snitch. I don't say anything. But I don't say anything. I let people assume. I let people assume. I let everyone assume.

I'm sure there's a nondisclosure, all that. You don't think the golden snitch is going to go on the Ariel Helwani show the moment he gets canned? And snitch it out? Maybe you pay him a fat sum and she'll be like, okay, just go away. But let's not say anything. We're not doing a strict testing. They told me it was Brock Lesnar's urine. It looked like Gatorade. It looked like fucking gravy.

Yeah, I don't. That's what I would do. I would just take him out of the equation, not say anything to the public, and then all of a sudden you have all the monsters back. That's so stupid. People are going to know. How are they going to know? We all assume.

But they're going to know. They're going to find out. People are fans. They'll find out quick. The general public won't find out. Everybody's going to find out. No. to find out. People are fans. They find out quick. The general public won't find out. Everybody's going to find out. No. You don't think so?

No. That's so stupid. I don't think so. You think it wouldn't get out if USADA left? If the UFC, like, what about the testing? No, no. We're still doing the testing. We're still doing the testing.

What testing did they do before? It was still being, there were still tests, right? Nevada State Athletic Commission tests, which would test after the weigh-in. And then maybe after the fight depending if you're a main event you saw there's just surprise testing you saw there's 365 days a year and they also are way more thorough

their tests are very very thorough they do blood the other one only does urine Victor Conte, the guy who got busted in the Balco scandal when he was on the podcast what he said to me, he was like if you fail one of those post weigh-in tests, that's an intelligence test. Correct.

You're just a dummy. He's like, anybody who knows what they're doing can pass those tests. You have the right guy, yeah. Yeah. If you have a guy like him, you're dealing with these high-level guys, that's an easy test. USADA, though, there's not. USADA's not.

They're keeping your piss and your blood for like seven years they're freezing that shit they're keeping it for seven years man it's too much they're gonna test it in seven years and strip people of the title you know the olympics has already done that yeah i know they busted russians retroactively they busted two gold medalists i want to say like 2008 two gold medalists from 2008 They're like yeah, you imagine getting that call who the fuck was that the Olympic Committee from fucking to and they just stripped our gold medals Well, you know they came real close to banning Russia from competing in Rio Did they they banned some of their athletes or is that China did they bear ban like China's gymnastic team? Do you have to give that

back? The medal? Is someone going to come fucking take it from you? Hell yeah. Go to Siberia. Who's going to take it? That dude's up there. Just hide in your ass. Killing Pike with a knife. They took like Reggie Bush. Remember that? They took his Heisman. You can't find it anymore. And they took their trophies. They took his Heisman for what?

For what reason? That year he received benefits. He took money from boosters. Oh, good lord. And they're like, can I see that trophy, bitch? They gave him money? They gave his parents a house or something like that. So they investigated and took all the shit.

And they voided all USC's wins that year. All USC's wins? Holy shit, because he violated that agreement? Him and the coach, and they had a bunch of fuck-ups. The NCAA. That is so bizarre. I know. You just have to act like it never happened.

That's so crazy. How is that possible? How can you... All the wins? Everything. None of it counts. If I was the record book, so it's still... It's out of the record books.

But the money was transpired. People watched it on TV. You know what I mean? The university made their money. Well, it's like Jon Jones, Daniel Cormier. You could call that a no contest all you want. We saw Jon Jones beat Daniel asleep. We saw it.

We saw the high kick. UFC made their money. UFC made their money off that. Yeah, but they're not thinking that way. What they're thinking is this is not, it's a violation of the rules in terms of like someone competing on a performance enhancing drug. They set up the rules. The guy

violated it, so they stripped his title as they're supposed to and they reinstated it to DC. I'll do one better. How about UFC 200 with Brock Lesnar? Think about that. And then you, because you get all the bias for Brock Lesnar And you realize He's like

He's like Fuck MWE Of course I was He's like God damn bro Well He rides off in the sunset A little

You know Brock Lesnar Independently tested himself A shit ton of times Leading up to that Trying Well listen Listen to me Listen to me

Don't get crazy Don't get crazy When you independently Test yourself It's cause you wanna make sure that you're showing up clean. It's not because you think you're clean and you want to show the world. It's because you want to make sure, like, hey, is this showing up? For sure.

What's going on? Are we okay here? Let's test out. Like, is this really working, this chemistry? There were multiple independent tests that he did, which you wouldn't have to do if you weren't taking anything. He's trying to get whatever it is out of his system, trying to get his body up to baseline. For sure. I mean, when you watched him in the WWE and he's 300 plus pounds, fucking jacked.

He looks the same. He's a giant guy, you know, and he's 39 or something like that. That was a dirty one. That was the most dirtiest one of all time. Well, that's another mark hunt beating i know and now he's slurred speech yeah alistair over him oh that was the worst one that knee took to the face uh flatlined him straight up flat right right in front of us man he was doing a toe curl you know when they get ko'd and get that toe curl i sure do they do like the

shocker with their feet that toe curl is hard to watch because you know that that's the whole body going. It's weird people enjoy seeing that. They don't enjoy seeing that. They enjoy seeing the kick landing because it's so difficult and you know the consequences are so grave. It's like, oh. Like the way we're made up, you almost want to flinch when you see that someone's brain shuts off like that. It should be genetically, you go, oh, my God. You know?

You know, I just don't think the people that suffer the most start, they don't come out about it. They just kind of go away. What do you mean? Right? Like guys like Don Fry. Like you don't see Don Fry all the time being interviewed on TV. You don't think about his fight with Takayama when they both stood in front of each other and blasted each other in the face

over and over and over again. That's the older generation. It's not in their nature to do that. They're not very good on camera and stuff like that. I think as you go on, you're going to see guys coming out though. Maybe. I hope. Because people don't see them. They fade away. I see what you're saying. You're not in the spotlight. Yeah, they're not in the spotlight, so people don't see them, they fade away. I see what you're saying.

You're not in the spotlight. Yeah, they're not in the spotlight, so people don't think about that. I get you. When you think of fighting, you think of watching Tyron Woodley right now in his prime. Yeah. You know, he's doing damage. You know, he's had some good fights, but he's okay. He's fine.

Yeah. You think about his knockout loss to Nate Marquardt in Strikeforce. That's like the only real bad loss that he has. The other losses, you know, it just doesn't seem like he's in a bad place. But then, you know, you don't see guys that were in the UFC 15, 20 years ago that took crazy – like Gary Goodridge, Big Daddy Goodridge, who went over to K-1, And he's got crazy CTE now. Horrible.

He talks about it, right? He's trying to. Yeah, he talks about it really openly, and he's got a great Twitter to follow. Have you ever had him on here? No. Would you? For sure. Yeah.

To talk about that? I mean, I'm sure he would want to talk about that. He'd want people to know, you know? I just, obviously, if you're going to fight, brain trauma is one of the repercussions. That's what we do. Obviously. So if you were to come on and be like, hey, I have brain trauma, CT, I don't feel like most people are like, oh, it's terrible. I'm not watching anymore.

Well, you feel bad. Like, you know, you see someone slurring their words. You ever see Joe Frazier before he died? Yeah. He was on the Opie and Anthony show once. And I remember listening. I was like, whoa, this is hard slurring their words. You ever see Joe Frazier before he died? Yeah. He was on the Opie and Anthony show once. And I remember listening. I was like, whoa, this is hard to listen to, man. It's just like.

There's some guys like that in the UFC. Yeah. Yes. I won't mention names. There's some guys who I have conversations with. I'm like, oh, my God, man. You don't see it? Yeah.

Look, nobody rides for free. You get hit enough. The weird thing is the number's different for everybody. Like the number for one guy, like Mark Hunt, it took years and years and years and years and years and years for his chin to start to fail him. You think about the K-1 fights he had, the strike for the, all the. Oh, my God. The K-1 pride. Pride.

The pride fights he had. You know, I think he fought in Dream as well. When did Melvin Manhoef knock him I think he fought in Dream as well. When did Melvin Manhoef knock him out? Was that in Dream? No, that's Pride. It was Pride? It's just all the K-1 bouts, man.

I mean, he was a K-1 Grand Prix champion. That was actually K-1, yeah. I mean, he fought some fucking war. Was it a K-1 MMA fight? Yeah, it was K-1. Yeah. I mean, just there's only so many of those fights you could have. It is weird how certain guys get their capabilities to take punches go on so much longer than other guys.

We don't know what it is. I think it's a structure thing, the way they're built. I think the way you're built, like Mark Hunt is built like a tank. He's 5'10", 265. He's just a tank. The other problem is we— With the size of his head, his body, his denseness. When you see his shins, like when Mark is standing in front, his knees are giant.

His knees are like this big. Everything's big. His shins are huge. He's like a thick boned guy. Well, the other issue is UFC, especially as, I shame mixed martial arts when everyone calls mixed martial arts UFC, but mixed martial arts is so new in the grand scheme of things compared to other sports. Right. We don't know the best way to grand scheme of things compared to other sports. Right.

We don't know the best way to train to stay healthy, to not get brain trouble. We have not. People are trying to figure out. There's doctors. It just hasn't been around long enough. Like in football, and the CFL just passed this, they're not allowed to put pads on in practice anymore. They cannot hit in practice anymore.

That is a rule. Smart. And now the NFL's going, we're going to look into that. Now the NFL only has, I think, 14 days of pad work where they're in pads during the season, but they want to eliminate that. But that sport's been around for a grip. The best saving grace for the sport would be, or the best hope for the sport would be, medical science. Medical science comes along with some sort of stem cell regeneration thing that allows your brain to come back to 100%.

Oh, my God. Totally possible. They just have to crack the code. You just think about what they can do with other parts of your body, the way they can repair things. The brain is far more complicated than anything we have to deal with. But if you could somehow or another reignite the body's ability to heal itself. the body's ability to heal itself. And in fact, they have a new chip that they're working on now where they install it in a person's body,

and it reprograms your genes, and they think it can repair brain trauma, injuries, tissue damage, and even the effects of aging. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a chip you put into your body, and it reprograms your genes And I think it's probably at some like very embryonic stage of development. It's gonna be like trillion dollars

I know who knows but they're probably trying to juice up You know excitement for it by making it this can you imagine I can imagine I can don't look dude You know, you know the story with my shoulder. Yeah, my shoulder was fucked I was ready to get shoulder surgery. It was hurting all the time. It doesn't hurt at all. Brain's a different animal, though. It is. You're right.

It is. It's way more complicated. You do. Yeah, you listen to the scientists. They go, you need a new heart. We can make that. You need lungs, muscle, bones. We can make all that.

Can't help your brain right now. Now, stop and think about where we were 50 years ago. 50 years ago, none of those things were possible. Now, stop and think about where we were 50 years ago. 50 years ago, none of those things were possible. So all these ideas that are commonplace today were just, it's science fiction 50 years ago. 50 years from now, they might be able to use this chip. Have you found that thing, that chip?

The one I found isn't even new. It's from three years ago, but it's made by DARPA. No, no, no. That's not what it is. It's a new chip installed under skin that reprograms DNA and can heal injuries. Forget about brain injury. Just look at that. New chip. I think it can replicate and restore.

The idea behind it is it can program the genes to replicate and restore any sort of injury. Did you read this on the forum? No, no, no. I think it was livescience.com. It's one of those websites, science websites. program the genes to replicate and restore any sort of injury. Did you read this on the forum? Or is this some legit shit? No, no, no. I think it was livescience.com. It's one of those websites, science websites that I go to on a regular basis. You know what's a bitch about that? Is by the time that's out, you and I would probably be dead.

No, that's not true. It might be out real soon. Breakthrough device heals organs with a single touch. Device instantly delivers new DNA or RNA into living skin cells to change their function. This is it. They've developed a device that will switch cell function to rescue failing body functions with a single touch. The technology known as tissue nanotransfection injects genetic code into the skin cells, turning those skin cells into other types of cells required for treating disease

conditions. Goddamn. Boom. Welcome to the future, motherfucker. CTE out the window. Football, no helmets. Don't be a pussy. We'll stitch you back up.

They have a bunch of dudes with boxes of these chips sitting by. You're down. Your head's mashed in like that fucking guy in the mountain from a game of Thrones crushed. They just stick that shit on your eyeballs pop right back into place like whoa Then we start you know what happens then sword fights Yeah, once they could just grab a hold you will bring you back to life It's gonna be a bitch for if he had stabbed you recover sword fights would be like you're not allowed to cut their head off

If you get stabbed, even if you can recover. Sword fights would be like, you're not allowed to cut their head off. Can't fix that. Can't fix that. Don't cut their fucking heads off. It's like elbows to the back of the head when you got the back mount. You can't do that. It's too effective.

Don't cut their heads off. Within one week, active blood vessels appeared in the injured leg, and by the second week, the leg was saved. Holy shit. Researchers studied mice and pigs in these experiments. In the study, researchers were able to reprogram skin cells to become vascular cells in badly injured legs that lack blood flow. So amazing probably for people with diabetes. Amazing for people that are suffering from all sorts of circulatory conditions. Bro, it takes less than a second and it's non-invasive.

Come on, son. Welcome to the new world. It's like that Nas song. The chip doesn't even stay in your body. I think it says they can take it out. Holy fuck. We live in the future, bitch. What are we talking about?

We're fixing shit. Why isn't this bigger news? Why isn't this on CNN and all that shit? That's a good question. Fake news. Fake news. That's powerful fake news. They're too busy talking about Trump.

Earth's flat. They're talking about whether or not Trump is a racist and whether or not that girl should get fired. Instead of folk. That is nuts. Ooh, folk. That is not. Ooh, excitement. Ooh, drama. How's that not exciting as shit?

It's exciting as shit. I'm going to go bash my brains in. We're in the new world, man. And this is just one step, right? What is this going to be like 20 years? We didn't see this coming. What's it going to be like 20 years from now? We don't know who's in Austria right now in some fucking laboratory with white gloves on.

With a huge brain. Putting their hand into some crazy machine. There's a Petri dish. And they got all these lasers that are zapping this thing. And they're, who knows what the fuck they're doing right now. Well, what's a bummer? This is the first I've heard about until you fucking brought it up. I'm on the ball, son.

I'm on all that stuff. But still. Powerful Matt Stagg sent me that. Shout out to Matt Stagg. I like that guy. He's awesome. He's a great guy this this whole what we're experiencing now is this you know this um escalating sort of technological race like

one invention like this is going to allow for the idea of several other different inventions and maybe they'll come up with something they add add this to CRISPR. You know what CRISPR is? This new genetic reprogramming. I don't know the best way to describe it. But it's a tool for altering genetics. Now, they get a hold of that and they use it with this. So you use CRISPR and this. You got the Hulk. You got Jon Jones and Brock Lesnar baby.

You got the Hulk. Fuck Jon Jones and Brock Lesnar if the Hulk shows up. Right? Not if they had a baby. He's fucking crashing through the Hulk. Fuck John Jones and Brock Lesnar if the Hulk shows up. Right? Not if they had a baby. He's fucking crashing through the wall. He leaps through the fucking arena. Just recovering nonstop. Literally from the dressing room.

Leaps through the air and boom. Lands in the center of the octagon and goes. And Brock Lesnar just goes. Shit. That was the best when the Hulk grabs that fucking Thor's brother, and he's like, I am a god. And he just grabs him and just rams him on the ground, back and forth, busts up the concrete.

I fucking love the idea that some peaceful Mark Ruffalo character who's this brilliant scientist who's concerned with helping people, if you piss this motherfucker off, he becomes a bulletproof giant. That's pretty dope. Not only did it happen so quick that he tried to shoot himself in the mouth. And by the time the bullet hit the skin, the Hulk spit out the bullet. Come on, son. It's the greatest fucking superhero character of all time.

Oh, the Hulk, you think? Yes. Everybody else can suck my dick dick Every single one of them You know why? Because they all call in the Hulk If the shit goes wrong If everything goes wrong What's that asshole with the bow and arrow doing there? Get the fuck out of there

Scarlett Johansson What are you going to do triangle people with your stilettos on? Shut the fuck up everybody Call in the green guy And let's just get this over with. He's out there punching spaceships into oblivion. And what are you doing? You're going to shoot arrows? You're going to shoot arrows at the spaceship archer?

Get the fuck out of here. We love you some Hulk. He's the best. He's the only one to call. If I was Captain America, I'd be like, listen, this is stupid. Captain America? Get the fuck out of my face. Yeah, look, he wanted to get some water. She's the only one to call if I was Captain America. I'd be like listen. I'm getting this is Captain America Yeah, fuck out of my face. Yeah, look you he wanted to get some She's the only one that can calm him down. Oh my god calm down Hulk. That's how I was boy that looks so fake there

That looks terrible animation. That looks like my kid drew it Those literally looks like no it looks like Shrek. There was two Hulks, though, yeah? It was Eric Bana and then the Mark Ruffalo. There's been a bunch of them. Ed Norton, too. Yeah, Ed Norton was one. Eric Bana was the worst. I went to see that Eric Bana movie when I was... Not that he's a bad actor.

He's an amazing actor. He was great in Chopper. Did you ever see him in Chopper? He was a ridiculous actor. Fucking fantastic. But there was something about that Hulk movie with him. I was like, this is whack. That's not his fault, huh?

I went to see it super duper high. huh? I went to see it super duper high and when I went to see it super duper high I was like, oh my god, the acting in this movie is so bad. Marijuana is the number one detector of shitty acting. You just sense it. There he is. Go big screen on that.

That looks pretty fake too, son. That's Eric Bana one. That's early days. That's the first Hulk. That's San Francisco Hulk. Yeah. So you see the difference between the Ed Norton Hulk on the right and actually the Eric Bana Hulk. The one on the left looks bloated. Terrible.

The one on the left looks bloated. Bana Hulk looks so fake. The Ed Norton one is so much better. Which one's this? That's Bana. That's the Bana. That looks like shit. Now go to the most recent, the Mark Ruffalo Hulk.

Let's see what. That looks like shit! Now go to the most recent, the Mark Ruffalo Hulk. Let's see what that one looks like. Yeah, the Mark Ruffalo Hulk is the best Hulk. Yeah, that's it right there. Come on, son. Looks a little more realistic. A little more, but I mean, it's obviously it's still a Hulk. Ooh, go full screen. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's dope. Yeah, if that thing hops into the Octagon, Brock Lesnar, good luck. Yeah, you're fucked. If your whole thing is that you're big and strong, and that's a big part of what Brock Lesnar's thing is, he's big and strong. It's his only thing. Yeah, I mean.

He's like the Hulk of UFC fighters. What are you, you going to Mighty Mouse the Hulk? Oh, that looks real as shit. Is that what you're going to do? You going to move around him? That looks real as fuck. That looks very real. Well, that was The Ed Norton one

The opening scene When he fucking Oh that does look good Yeah it looks dope His teeth are fucked If we can figure If they can figure out a way To do that to people

The world's gonna be A totally different place It's not that far away Look Think of what they can do With steroids Like did you ever see That guy who just died

Rich Piana His name is He's a Famous Internet Bodybuilder Oh yes I saw him at Gold's a famous internet bodybuilder guy. Oh, yes. I saw him at Gold's a bunch of times. Nicest guy ever.

Jacked. Seems like a very nice guy. His arms are as big as my entire torso. Look at the size of this fucker. He just died. And I think they suspect painkillers did him in. I mean, I can't imagine steroids didn't have some sort of play in the death of this man. It could very well have.

But they were suspecting painkillers. Apparently, all the big cycles that he did were like a long time ago. And he doesn't really do those big cycles anymore. Dude, he is jack city. That's so preposterous. Look at that photo right there. That is so preposterous. Look at that photo right there. That is so preposterous. Look at the size of his arm.

It's like he's got a person that's head is attached to his shoulder. Look at his veins. And the person's like holding their body like this is his bicep is a person's body with their arms crossed. It's like the three of arms put together in here. He's enormous. Or was, I should say. I know. But yeah, you. Did he go in a coma or something?

I don't know. Look at that picture there of him and this other giant dude. What? What is that? Natural bodybuilder. What? What are you saying? Natural bodybuilder Mike O'Hearn. That's Mike O'Hearn on the right. Opens up steroid... Whatever.

Is that bodybuilding.com? People get super into that shit. Muscle roast. Muscle roast. Okay. If that guy's real, if that's a real natural bodybuilder... Not.

We need to find out what he's eating. And let's see if he passes the golden snitch test. Yeah, he's naturally on steroids. He's just clean the day of the competition, probably. All those fucking guys do it. Why would you not? You're not hurting anybody. He's Shred City, though.

Natural bodybuilder. Well, it's got to be possible to get a certain size. Yeah, there's some genetic. The biggest freaks I know are genetically. Look at my friend Klopp. Tebow's fucking shredded naturally. Those guys are, but there's some genetics. The biggest freaks I know are genetically. Look at my friend Klopp. Tebow's fucking shredded naturally. Those guys are, but that's too much. That's too much. Well, look at that picture of him with the

six-pack of him. Go back. Oh, that's right. Look at that picture of him. Look at that. Come on, son. That dude's jacksooty. If that is natural, 100% natural, that's insane genetics. It'd be the most insane genetics I've ever seen, and I'd be willing to bet my life on it he has something running through his system.

But is it possible to be built like that with nothing else than genetics and hard work? What do you think, Joe? I say no. Not, well, I want to say no, but I think that Tyron Woodley could probably look like that. That guy's 6'4", sir. I don't mean, like, the height. I mean, if Tyron, if you look at, like that Tyron Woodley could probably look like that. That guy's 6'4", sir. I don't mean like the height. I mean, if Tyron, if you look at like Tyron's body, Tyron's jacked, like naturally

jacked, like superior genetics. Look at his genetics on the left, though. That's him? Yes. So he wasn't born like that, you know what I'm saying? Genetically, he's not made that. Well, he was partying back then. But look at any picture of Woodley ever, he's jacked. He needs Subway every day and back then. But look at any picture of Woodley ever. He's jacked. Shredded.

Jacked. There are certain people. He needs Subway every day and be shredded. Francis Ngannou is another one. Some people have superior genetics. Superior genetics. All black guys. Yeah, black people have crazy genetics.

Brock Lesnar. That's a positive. Yeah. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but. There's got to be natural bodybuilders that are jacked. I had a friend back in the day. Brian Frazier, a friend of mine from Boston who was a stand-up comedian who was jacked. He was huge back in the day, Brian Frazier, a friend of mine from Boston who was a stand-up comedian

who was jacked. He was huge back in the day. Was he thick and tall? Yes. No. He wasn't that tall. He was like maybe,

I think he's 5'10 or 5'11, but like super, at the time, super jacked, like giant muscles. And I know for a fact he never did anything. That he told you about?

No, he didn't. I'm telling you. I know the guy very well. He didn't do shit. But like, I know a naturalbuilding. He's a beast he trains for doom He trains a lot of these guys names Mike's a fi trains out of Anderson Silva's gym are used to I think he's trained now training out of Henry Gracie's gym, and he's a natural bodybuilder he competes and he is Fucking shredded he's big no. he's just he's like thin and like strong yeah there he is yeah that's shredded now that's totally possible to do

naturally he's all natural enough for a fact it can totally be done his whole family's like this his brothers his sister like they're all built that same way totally can be done the question is can you do what the other guy looks like? No. That's different. I shouldn't say no. You shouldn't say no. Because my buddy Klopp, he's 6'6", 270, and he eats like shit, and he's jacked and shredded. If he got on a regular diet, like a strict keto, I'm sure he'd lean out even more. And if he got obsessed with lifting, like he was lifting every day. Which he is.

Several times a day. Yeah, like it was his job? Yeah. Like, these guys... Yeah, maybe it is possible. If you just... You'd have to be a freak of all freaks. It's like girls with giant natural tits.

Like, whoa. Where'd that come from? Like, they do exist. Yeah, God bless them. Yeah. Guys with huge hogs. They exist. Do they ever.

Do they ever. People with big noses, am I right? Am I right? Am I right? Yeah. Some girls must love a guy with a big nose so they can eat their pussy from behind. Some chicks love a big nose. That's why.

It's very strange. They want to back their ass up into his nose. They want nose in the ass, mouth on the pussy. That's what they want. You think that's why they love a big, like, short nose? Joey Diaz used to have a bit about it it's called doing the pigeon i think that's what it is i don't know for sure but as a girl as a girl i can't have a huge nose no that doesn't help it doesn't help no like cyrano deburger it would help if she was lying

on her back with her head like leaning over backwards that nose could be like a taint rub right that bird oh that bird's horrible dude that video that I put on my Instagram with this bird fucking up this chick a woodpecker finds these uh chicks in this bird nest and just starts jacking them man god damn horrifying is that is that uh woodpecker on woodpecker crime? Or is that like a pigeon he's fighting? That's just another bird some of the kind of bird fuck He's bashes brains in he ate his brain see if he has a crisp earth he could figure it out and that fucking chick Can't do anything. It's just getting literally stabbed in the head

Repeatedly by a woodpecker. Oh my god fuck woodpeckers Man, man people we have a weird idea what nature is. And you need to see things like that. Like there's a great website, Instagram page, Nature is Metal. Is that the one that I, was that what I retweeted? Nature is Metal? It is Nature is Metal. It's one of my favorite.

I go to that every day. Nature is Metal is crazy. It's all clips of shit getting jacked. Everything is crocodiles jacking gazelles and hippos jacking crocodiles is crocodiles jacking gazelles and hippos jacking crocodiles and crocodiles jacking other crocodiles. Oh, that's an otter going ham on a croc. That's an alligator.

But yeah, otters are ruthless, bro. If an otter thinks that a... Look at that thing. It's a fucking hawk tearing apart another bird. Holy fuck. Nature is metal. Let me see a more gnarly one, though. I'm not sold yet. There's one of a lion. Oh, that'll do it. Yeah. Nature is metal. It's a great name. Let me see a more gnarly one, though. I'm not sold yet.

There's one of a lion head. Oh, that'll do it. Yeah, look at that. Crocodile. Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at that one. Crocodile with another crocodile in its mouth. Doing a crocodile roll.

Swinging it through the air by its head. And ripping his face off. They are fucking ruthless. Go big screen on that. Hashtag no new friends. Ripping his face off. Hashtag no new friends. Rip his face off. Hashtag no new friends. That's a great side takeover.

That's so funny. Look at that fucking, look at that teeth on that thing. Did you see that reporter? He was surfing with his friends in Sri Lanka last night. Got eaten alive by a crocodile. Oh, great. He went to go wash his hands. That crocodile was like, oh, cool story.

Hey, geese. Reporter got him? Well, he got a reporter? No, the guy, his job was a reporter He was out in Sri Lanka just vacationing surfboarding and a saltwater croc got his ass god damn saltwater crocs is terrifying Look at that. Oh my god. Look at the one up top with a deer got jacked by a tree Look at that boom tree dropped on his head the tree just fell on his head. What are the odds not good? It's a terrible way to go.

Terrible way to go. Just landed right on his head. How the fuck does that only have 159 likes? Because now we'll talk about it and get more likes. Page is about to blow up probably. It's only got 17,500. Page is going to blow. It should.

Nature is metal and then underscore. But go further down. There's some fucking crazy ones on that page. I go to this shit every day. I'm going to follow it now. further down there's some fucking crazy ones on that page i go to the shit every day i'm gonna follow it now yeah there's a lot oh my god that hawk's about to fuck up that snake there look at that one yeah go go back please look at this one with this crocodile right here the mouth open with a zebra head in his mouth look at that oh you know what people send me zebra head people send send me these all the time because when i was leaving fox i said i'm a zebra and i went you ever seen anyone uh uh fucking ride a zebra you can't i'm a zebra people are like really and then they send me these all

the time look at the mouth on that thing that is a fucking dinosaur that's a dinosaur that zebra is fucking i'm not mad at his set of his teeth either in that, but he's obviously older, right? Like that's an old age. They fuck their teeth up pretty quick. They probably don't live that long. I mean, I would assume that zebras, much like any other animal that lives in the wild, you know, if you can get to 10 years, congratulations. You did something amazing. Yeah, you're killing the game. But those zebras, if you're looking at their...

Look at that owl about to jack that mouse. That's a beautiful picture. It's a metaphor for life. It's an amazing picture. The zebra stripes, those are designed so that a lion has a hard time picking out one individual animal. Is that why they do it? They're always together in a herd because you can't tell if you look at them. I always wanted that because to me they would stick

out being black and white in the goddamn desert. No. And in Africa. This is one of the things they did. They put a collar on a zebra to track them and every time they would do it, that zebra would get killed. Oh, because they could see it. Because they could see it. It would stand out. I could see that collar. Like that's the one.

See that? There's a pattern that they use for camo that there's a pattern that they use for camo that There's a company called first light they make like the If not the best one of the best hunting gears in the world It's like they make this like really fine Merino wool clothes that they put camo patterns on and they when you sweat in merino wool It's like really good because you never get cold. It keeps your body... It's a natural fiber.

But anyway, they have this one pattern they use called ASAT. All season, all terrain. And in a way, it kind of mimics what you see in a zebra. So what a zebra is, you can't make out the outline.

Because the blacks and the whites, the contrast. It's like you have a hard time for an animal and this camels black and white this camels got a few different shades in it But the idea behind the invention of this camels were one of the first camels like most camels back in the day used to be either like army shit like for jungle or there would be like Leaves like actual leaves like a lot of companies started making like where it looks like like leaves, like actual leaves. Like a lot of companies started making like where it looks like photorealistic trees and patterns and stuff, which kind of works. Kind of.

The whole idea, that's ASAT. So see how that is like it breaks up. Looks like Yeezy season four. Go up right up there to the jacket, Jamie. The jacket right there? Yeah. That's like kind of a ghillie suit what has all this extra phrase to it That you would use that if you were hunting turkeys cuz turkeys can see real good

But when you're wearing that the idea is that all those stripes break up your outline That's the exact same reason why a zebra has that shit. I did not know that always wondered that I always wanted it, too That's so yeah. Have you seen the new? Body suits are doing the water for sharks. So the hex suits. so, have you seen the new body suits they're doing in the water for sharks? Hex suits? Yeah, have you seen those? Yeah. They're kind of dope.

Are you saying so the sharks can't see your electrical signals? Is that what you're talking about? No, it's for sharks so they don't think you're a seal. Oh. What does it do? Is it a different color? Yeah, some of them are black and white if you look at them. There's this thing called hex, H-E-C-S, and there are these suits that people wear in particular when they go to,

is this it, Jamie? What is this? I don't know. I was just asking. Carbon full-sleeve wetsuit? No, that's just pretty. Nah. That makes you look like a fish.

I'd fuck you up if you were in that. Fuck yeah, you look like a sweet-ass delicious tuna. Go to HEXSuit, H-E-C-S. So I don't know if this is real. So this is one of the things that I want to, just write HEXSuit, H-E-C-S. So I don't know if this is real. So this is one of the things that I want to just write Hexsuit, H-E-C-S-uit. I would love people, yeah, Hexsuit. I would love people to tell me whether or not this really works. Because apparently your body is supposed to emit some sort of electrical signal.

Apparently your body is supposed to emit some sort of electrical signal. And if you run your body over this thing, it registers your body's electrical signal. But if you put this hex suit on and run your body over this thing, it doesn't register. Does that prove that it's really working? The guy's chilling with turkeys? I don't know. At least that guy's in shape. I mean, but it works apparently, like noticeably works in the water. Like this guy's, what he's doing here.

He's just fucking grabbing lobsters. I can do that. No, no, no. No, you can't. They try to get the fuck away from you. With this hex suit on, they've shown the difference between wearing it and not wearing it. And it seems to allow, see this I'm not impressed with because he's about to shoot this animal and that animal can't see him.

Anybody could do that. I could do that with like clothes on animal and that animal can't see him. Anybody could do that. I could do that with, like, clothes on. If the animal can't see you, it doesn't matter. Yeah, if the animal doesn't see you, it doesn't matter. But if the animal sees you, the idea is that this heck suit is supposed to somehow or another protect you. They shouldn't have shown that one because that video didn't even mean anything. It's like you couldn't see that the animal was looking his way. That's interesting, though.

See, it shows, like, see, go back a little bit. So watch, it shows when they walk in front. No, you just had it. Just leave it alone. Go back. They're kind of showing the animal. Okay, watch. See, he's passing in front of it, and without hex, you see how it registers?

Now, with the hex suit on, it registers very little. registers now with the hex suit on it registers very little again this is somehow or another supposed to be recognizing the electrical signal that your body has i get pissed so bad why don't you go piss on the hex thanks bro get you get your piss on son piss on see this doesn't impress me that's a fucking armadillo how smart are armadillos anyone do you know anyone that has one john dudley he believes in it that's why I'm curious about it. Because I don't know how much... There's John Dudley right now. Hex testimonial.

I just don't know how much science is behind it. I mean, a lot of times you want to believe that things work. And I think you kind of... It works with coyotes, too. That's the weird one. Coyotes walk right up to people that are wearing it. The idea is that animals might have certain senses and ability to detect signals that you give off that we just don't possess so because we don't possess those those abilities to recognize those signals we

don't recognize that these animals do because we don't think of it as an option and what they're saying is it's entirely possible, especially with predators, apparently, entirely possible that animals emit some sort of an electrical signal that animals are attracted to. And then when they see this person wearing this hex suit, those signals don't come through and they don't know what the fuck you are, which is really fascinating. See, electromagnetic signal, right? Is that what it's saying? Yeah. I don't know how much of it is real though like i've never i've never seen a study on it do they have studies on this like do that when you go up there when it says proof do they have a proof thing if you go to the top i went to cow

it works yeah how does it work that's where i'm looking at there's no like links or it just talks about it. Yeah, see, I feel like hex blocks your electrical signal. Okay. It seems to block that. The real question to me is do the animals see it? They've done extensive studies on what animals do and don't see as far as camouflage, and I think one of the ways they've done that and what kind of light they see, one of the ways they've done that is through kind of light they see one of the ways they've done that is through like they have like deer farms where they have undulates in captivity and they feed them and they only feed them if they can see certain things or they show

them certain things that's how they measure whether or not they're actually able to recognize patterns because some patterns are really good like some patterns just completely break up The outline of a person to an animal and the animal just sees some weird shit. It looks like a bush Size of the mesh is crucial to effectively blocking human Faraday cage is what it's explaining which is the part. I was just kind of like looking at this is the science Invented in 1836 so just before a dude invented chiropractic, by an English scientist, Michael Faraday. A Faraday cage is an enclosure made out of a conductive mesh material

that blocks electrical fields. By channeling the electricity through the mesh, it's used to protect electronic equipment from lightning strikes or in screen rooms, which allows for environments to be free of electromagnetic interference. That makes sense. What I don't know is whether or not an animal can see that. I'd like to know.

Why don't you Google, can animals detect electrical energy? That's why it shows those flocks of birds floating around. From what I've read that science I believe thinks that's how they're communicating through electricity schools of fish or magnetism magnet magnetic waves electromagnetic waves yeah I mean it only makes sense if you watch those giant flocks of birds all flowing together that they have some sort of way of interacting with each other that we don't understand like what is it I don know. But there's something going on.

I mean, there's no way you could ever get people to fly through the air like that. I mean, just. I've heard people that said they've taken like the God dose of mushrooms can see it when they're like all fucked up and on the beach, they can see magnetic waves coming in off waves. And I've never been that high. I apologize. That took some.

No worries. That was a brutal piss. That was not a piss, bro. Listen to this. I was trying to to be cool i don't know if you could tell i had the shit sweats no listen to this what happened i haven't eaten anything all day and i went to starbucks i went you know what give me one of those nitro brews i need a venti and she goes we don't do ventis it's dangerous only grande i went what's a nitro brew it's uh like a crazy kind of like a think a guinness coffee that comes out of like a tap coffee same shit oh it's like it's uh like a crazy kind of like i think a guinness coffee that comes out of like a tap same shit oh it's like it's just like cape man nitro yeah yeah oh okay came in nitro super

strong i'm like give me a venti you know i got some shit to do so it's nitrogenated coffee yeah super strong she goes i can't give you venti only grind i went all right fine just put two shots in it she goes we don't recommend it i go put two shots in it so that's what i got yeah put two shots in it you see that slingshot bitch put two shots in it she did that and halfway through talking about camouflage i went oh shit miss starbucks was right yeah that horn that blows i almost shit my pants i swear that's the closest I've ever come to shit my pants on fucking- On a podcast? On anything.

I don't shit my pants. I'm a grown man. You don't shit your pants ever? No. Remember when Brian Lydon said he shit his pants because he was late or missed a show? Yeah. It's hilarious. Grown men don't shit their pants.

He had a spare pair of pants in his trunk and he just changed them. What'd you do with the old pants? Classic. I just threw them away. Classic. Oh, you did? How'd you clean up? I just went to a gas station. Oh, sure you did.

He's the funniest guy ever. Makes total sense. Dude, I was trying to be cool. It's probably a good idea to keep a pair of pants, underwear, socks, shoes. Why not take one small change of clothes in your trunk? Always a smart move. I never do it.

But it seems like if you have a trunk, what the fuck are you carrying? What's in your trunk? You have room. It's not like it's going to cost you gas mileage. Just a little bag. Makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. You don't plan for that. Even shoes. Bring a whole outfit. Yeah. Bring a whole outfit. An extra outfit. So if something terrible happens...

Well, I'll tell you right now. Something terrible will happen when I'm on the 405 in that goddamn slingshot with no AC and my stomach's on the fritz like this. Why did you get that thing? What was going on? They gave it to me. For free? Yes.

That's ridiculous. I'm not that stupid. I'm not like a rat. They said, hey, man, have this. They went, yeah, post on it, have it, yeah. So you just have to tell people how ridiculous it is. They didn't even say that. They said, if you want to post about it, whatever you want to do, man, we want you to take this.

Spin it around for me. Cool, right? Might as well. That's amazing. I love the fact that it's got a stick shift. You need it to take it for a spin. No, I'm good. I feel weird when I drive that Corvette.

The Corvette convertible. Yeah, I know. No roof. I'm like, ooh, there's something up there. Well, when I'm behind a truck, I'm like, God, if a rock spits up, I'm going to hit it right in the fucking eye. I know. I just get out of the way yeah you got to be clever about how you approach like large groups of cars when you have a convertible or a motorcycle i guess that's why i like it because i'm more in tuned with what's going on like fucking i'm on it where if on my car i'm so comfortable the pdk i

can right navigation bullshit and jacking off, whatever. Yeah. It's interesting. Like, does your car have the car play thing where you can talk to it and tell what to text people? Yeah. How amazing is that? Ridiculous. It reads a text for you and it tells you, like, would you like to reply? And you're like, yes, I would, bitch.

Text them back whatever you want, whatever. You don't need to text anymore. Text them back. I wonder if you could program Siri when you say bitch after everything. Of course, bitch. Yes, I do, bitch. For sure. And if you don't say bitch, Siri doesn't recognize it.

I'm sorry. What did you say? Bitch, you heard me. Yes, I did. I did. That new iPhone drops next month. I'm stoked for it. Sweet.

Have you seen it? There's two new iPhones. You don't fucks with that. Oh, you know you have iPhone? Yeah. Finally. There's two new ones. Finally. I only tried a Google phone for like a month. I feel like you're on that Google trip for a second though. I did. Well, I tried to get off the Apple tit.

I went with a Mac laptop, I mean a Windows laptop and I went with an Android phone. Abandoned both of them. In the announcement for it, they said something when they were showing the Face ID that kind of was alarming to me that I didn't know. Oh, yeah. The touch ID, 1 in 50,000 chance that someone just unlocks your phone without your fingerprint.

What? It doesn't seem like that secure. 1 in 50,000 is pretty goddamn secure, Jamie. It's pretty secure. I'll take my chances, Jamie. It seems so low. How many dick pics are you carrying around? I don't have anything.

I'm just saying. I have Apple Pay put on my phone, so you can start using my card right away if you start paying for shit if you had my phone. The new one's, it's face recognition. And that's the next. It says it's one in a million on that. Yeah. The problem with that is, and I'm worried about that.

I'm worried about you being next to your girl, and your girl sticks your phone right on your face, starts it up, and then is like, oh, look at this motherfucker. Jamie Vernon with a bunch of dick pics. Okay. You fall asleep, she does it. Sending that one. It's the same. You fall asleep and she puts your thumb on there and unlocks it easily.

That's true. If she tries to get my face on it. You touch me when I'm asleep, I will wake up immediately and choke you. Yeah, I just fucking. For this one, it says you have to be looking at it. You have to focus at it. Have your eyes open. Yeah. So then she drugs you. Yeah, I just fucking... For this one, it says you have to be looking at it. You have to like... You have to focus at it. Have your eyes open.

Yeah. So then she drugs you. And needs your attention. Takes your fingers, pulls your eyelids back. She can do it. Them hoes will figure it out. All she has to do is

paint fake eyeballs on your eyelids. She'll... If you're asleep and she's got white paint... It'd just be crazy. And then she puts like a little black Sharpie mark.

But it's like the most expensive phone ever. No, I don't know. It's like 1200 bucks. I think if you're buying it outright, that's, there's two or three other phones. I need that.

I get that Spider-Man. Look at my phone. My son broke the fuck out. I refuse to get a new one. Why? I'm waiting for the, for the new one to drop. But it's interesting.

They're, they're coming out with the iPhone eight, eight plus and the 10 all together at the same time. It's like, look, you can go, you can go Poe. But it's interesting. They're coming out with the iPhone 8, 8 Plus, and the X all together at the same time. It's like, look, you can go Poe. They skipped the 9. It's just the X. No, it's the X. Hold on.

It's your anniversary. Jamie, it says iPhone X. How to pronounce the new iPhone. Then you have Tim Cook saying, we call it iPhone X. Boom. Sounds a bit stupid. Correct me if you're wrong. I didn't know that.

So there's a 9 and a 10? No, there is no 9. They skipped it. There's an 8. But here's the thing. You get these bullshit ass dead spots where you don't have a screen. Not anymore. So you can feel all poor.

Next to that person that has the 10 that has no bullshit. And wireless charging. Wireless charging. Well, the 8 has wireless charging too. And it's waterproof now. You can go in the ocean with it. Can you? Yes.

I think that was with the watch. No. With the phone. Yeah, now it's water resistance. That one's just a little bit waterproof, the new one. But the new, new shit, water resistance. Swim, son. Swimming.

Under water picks. The new one is 3, right? iPhone 3. Watch. The watch is the 3? Watch 3, yeah. It has cellular added to it. Ooh, I like it. Swimming Underwater pics The new one is three Right iPhone three Watch The watch is the three Watch three yeah Cellular added to it Ooh

I like it So you don't even have to bring your phone You can go running Yep And then your girl's back at home She's like I used your face To find your phone And now I'm calling you

From your own phone To say fuck you I'm lighting your house on fire You dick pic Sending son of a bitch Son of a bitch Dude I don't get down With iPhone watches

Not my cup of tea man And then you get a phone call Like three seconds later Dick picks sending son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Dude, I don't get down with iPhone watches. Not my cup of tea, man. And then you get a phone call like three seconds later. You're receiving dick pics, too. You're taking them, too? Andy Dick wants to suck your dick? Really? Really.

And you didn't block his number. You sent him your address. You're like, LOL. That's what I would say. If I wanted to suck a guy's dick, I'd say, LOL. Come on over and suck my dick. LOL. I'll be on my way. LOL. You just cut it out. You're being so silly.

That's what they say if they know they're going to suck it. LOL. Then you know you're in. Yeah, if you say it and then they call you up and go, hey, don't ever fucking text me something like that again. I'm sorry. Just joking around. That's like normal. But if they go LOL.

LOL. LOL is like she's like getting wet she's freaking out lol you're silly it's on it's on people say lol lol you silly goose you silly gobble gobble driving over your house thinking about it what is it about these new phones? Like, do you really... How much do you need that new phone? How much do you need that new screen? It's like it's a trap. And that's going to be a piece of shit in a year from now.

A year from now, it's going to be some new thing. That's everything, though. It puts pressure on you to get the new phone, because that's what's cool, that's what's hip, but they're adding new stuff to it. It's like the new car. Where's the fingerprint reader? There isn't one.

Just your face. Well, you can go fuck yourself. That's stupid. What if my face gets beat up? It knows. It knows. It's learning with you. It knows if you grow a beard.

It knows if I have a black eye. Because you would have been looking at it earlier that day. That's kind of scary, man. That's kind of scary. It's supposedly learning with you. Yeah, what if it fucks up? And that data is all stored somewhere, and it's supposedly encrypted. Jesus, the apple has my face.

I just thought about what are they going to do three or four or five years down the line when they have five years of your aging of daily 12, 15, 20, 30, 40 times a day? Do you think it looks at Kylie Jenner and goes, who the fuck is that guy? Yeah, it's like even able to recognize girls fucking getting that Kylie Jenner surgery. Is it Kylie or Chloe? Which one's the one that has the most? Kylie.

Kylie? By far. They're going to go, what? What is it? Where's the rest of your jaw? What's going on here? She's going to have to get a new iPhone every few months just to keep up with it.

I don't like that. No fingerprint. I don't think I enjoy that. I think that seems stupid. You might love it, though, because way easier. No fingerprint. I don't think I enjoy that. I think that seems stupid. You might love it, though. No, because the cop is just going to take your face, hold it up, and they'll be able to pull you over. They pull you over, they're just going to take your phone, put it up to your face.

Oh, you have to look. Give me your phone. I want to know what you're doing. You can't look at my phone. Oh, yeah? And they do that, and then they can just do it. Cops have tried to look in people's phones before. They've told people. To see if you're texting? They're allowed to put your finger on it. No.

Yes, they are. They're not allowed to enter your password. They're not allowed for you to ask what the password is. That's why they'd say for people, you should not use the fingerprint part because cops can actually actively use it because it's not specifically stated. It's a loophole. Yes, loophole. You're not allowed to tell someone you want their password because that's an invasion of privacy.

You are allowed to take their finger and put it on their phone and open their phone up. What the fuck? Exactly. Yeah, it's like technology moving too fast and we don't have the words in the language and the you know the preparations there's a new system built into the ios 11 which comes out a couple days that allows you to uh bypass that sort of if you quick tap five times

you can turn off touch id so it's like it's basically what they're calling it as a cop Can't count Where was I one shit What did you arrive? Yeah, I just don't think that's the way to go the facial recognition thing just seems Corny I get a try it out before I judge you. Every time I want to buy something, how come I can't just put my fucking

thumb on it? You know what it is? Here's the problem. These cunts can't figure out a way to get your fingerprint right off your phone yet. Right off the main screen. That's what they've been working on forever. Trying to get it on the big screen? Yeah, so you just touch anywhere on the screen and it picks up your fingerprint. That's what they've been working on forever. They do not have that yet.

So they went with facial recognition, which they've already had for Snapchat and for Instagram filters and all those things where they see your face and then turn you into Abraham Lincoln or some shit. This does it way better than those we're doing. But it's an acceleration of that. What they haven't been able to do is get your whole screen to be a fingerprint sensor and still be able to show images and all that stuff. I think it's got something like six selfie cameras. One's like IR. One's doing like

dots like the Kinect camera was doing. It's like a little Xbox Kinect. Good lord with the selfies. The camera industry is just done. They're useless. When's the last time you saw like a straight up camera? Well, you'd have to be like a guy who was a photographer like Jamie. Then you carry those

goofy bricks because you want to impress chicks. You know what he's doing? He's just taking pictures of chicks all the time. You're lighting them. Just fix your hair. Just fix your hair. But even that thing. Girls love that.

They love to pose. For sure. I see them all the time. They just go on little photo shoot dates with girls 2 and two and two, three, four, five at a time. They're just taking pictures of each other. They don't need to hire the photographer anymore. I've seen that, man. I was at a restaurant and these two bitches just kept doing that back and forth with each other.

I was like, ladies, enjoy your meal. And they were like, no, like this. Hold on. With their iPhones? Yeah, this is the, I'm about to take a selfie face. Ready? There's a thing that girls do with their neck that they only do when they're about to take a selfie. This is it. Ready?

That weird neck movement. It's like they're like this. Trying to get shit, right? This is weird selfie neck. Like you don't ever do that any other time except for when you're like looking at your phone. You're like. You're just trying to get the cell right right? Nothing is more awkward. Nothing is more awkward seeing someone trying to take a selfie

You ever seen that mom at the playground with her kid trying to take selfies? She takes 40-something selfies You just do like this bitch smile. That's what you look like. Okay, you just roll with it. Doesn't always look great You don't need a perfect angle. You're not tricking people, but Filters with it doesn't always look great you don't need the perfect angle tricking people but filters that's how they do it man it's this weird chicken movement chicken heads chicken heads chicken heads that's where it comes from chickens be crazy it's not where it comes from but it belongs in it true it's in the same right yeah umbrella but that's a real chicken head yeah i mean this is really this is trust me

I have chickens This is that's what they do man. There's nothing more awkward Trying to take fucking selfies. It's so embarrassing. There's definitely more awkward shit It's more awkward if your friend is taking and you're a guy You're standing there like hold on bro hold on bro oh my god hold on bro hold on bro it's like this it's so weird what do you think like this here yeah it's okay get your ass back bro if you're a guy and you're poking your ass out look how many guys take pictures like this hey bro

look look i'm mysterious i'm thinking about this book I'm writing Ass out It's so awkward man I saw A story about a dude who died Cause he was getting a dick operation What? Yeah he was getting fat pumped into his dick

Like Kim Kardashian's ass You're just trying to have a fat dick Had a fucking heart attack Fat went through his bloodstream somehow and his body locked up. And that's a wrap! And he was like 32 or some shit. How old is he? 30.

30 year old. Relatively healthy person. Wanted a penile elongation and girth enhancement surgery. Holla at your boy! Holla at the girth. Which includes transferring fat from one area of the body and replace. See, he doesn't understand. When we talk about having a fat dick, that doesn't count.

That doesn't. It's like. You take that literally. If you take like George Foreman's fists. You're like, man, I wish I had a fist like George Foreman. I'm just going to pump fat in my hand. It looks like Mickey Mouse's gloves. Yeah, no, it doesn't.

This guy fucked up, man. He fucked up. Well, he definitely fucked up because now he's dead. He had a pulmonary fat embolism when fat traveled the bloodstream to his lungs and ruptured blood vessels. Christ. First case

of a seemingly simple and safe procedure of penis enlargement by autologous fat transfer caused the sudden death of a healthy young man, according to the report. Doctors believe this is the first case. First of all, doctors, fuck you. Because that sounds like an ad for dick surgery, which you just shouldn't get. Okay? Because you don't know what you're doing.

You're just making weird, fucked up dicks. You're just making weird fucked up dicks. You're not making a bigger dick. Yeah, look at that. It says completely useless procedure. Well, how about if it never works and disfigures men? What if your dick got fatter, but the head was the same size? Ah, you don't like that. So it's like a big giant guy with a tiny head. There's this steroid

dude that, there's pictures of him on the internet, and his head is the size of a softball, and his body is as wide as this Table and is the weird it's like Beetlejuice He looks like the henchmen from Mario Brothers the movie if you remember that it might be fake though It might be like one of them Photoshop I love that That Beetlejuice movie was fucking outstanding

What a classic. What a fucking phenomenal movie. It's one of those remakes things that are happening soon. No, don't remake it. I can't fucking make that. He's going to be Beetlejuice, though. I'm pretty sure. Oh, it's like a sequel?

My something. Oh, it'll probably be good. Retelling or before. Because he's creepier looking now. Did you see it? It's even better. Did you see it? No.

I heard it's awesome. I heard it's so good. I heard it's really good. Fuck, I need to see it. I need to see it. I love stupid shit like that. Me too. It's exciting to me. Last night, people were like, have you seen it? I'm I heard it's awesome. I heard it's so good. I heard it's really good. Fuck, I need to see it. I need to see it. I love stupid shit like that. Me too. It's exciting to me.

Last night, people were like, have you seen it? I'm like, the best movie ever. Oof. I can't wait, man. I'm in. Me too. I'm all in. Just need to figure it out.

I think we need more monster movies. Didn't you say that John Landis' son is remaking American Werewolf in London? They're redoing something. So in the same vein that the Avengers exist now they're doing the monster world again

oh Christ that's where the mummy is coming from like Frankenstein and the mummy are gonna hang out together they're gonna get together like as a team

I don't know if they're gonna be a fucking fighting team I love a nice Dracula movie origin stories first and then I'm sure there's gonna be

a monster mash fight mummy drop the ball that's not what I asked though I'm pretty sure John Landis' son John Landis the original director of An American Werewolf in London, my favorite movie of all time. That's your favorite movie of all time? Oh, yeah.

Wow. I still watch it to this day. Wow. Which one? First one, the real one, the only one. Came out what year? 1910. 1910?

I don't know. 1907? I think I might have been right out of high school. Might have been like 85. Then there's American Werewolf and... So he's made comments against the remake that his son is making is what...

Oh, John Landis has made comments against his son's work? What a dick. Six hours ago there was a clarification of these comments. How about you keep your mouth shut, Pops? Just let your son shine. Let him do his goddamn thing. He's still on 17. Yeah, but what if your son was like Eddie Van Halen's son,

and he just takes over Van Halen? Oh, that'd be a bummer. You're like, hey, fuckface. Yeah, that'd be a super bummer. You know, he starts singing. He's like, I'm Van Halen, too. No, no, no, you're not. No, whoa, whoa, whoa.

But dude, check my last name. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look at my driver's license. Van Halen. Oh, I can't use the Van Halen name? How about I'm Mike Van Halen? The Mike Van Halen band. That license. Van Halen. I can't use the Van Halen name. How about I'm Mike Van Halen? The Mike Van Halen band. That's Mike Van Halen.

Can I use that? I'm going to sing Panama. Is that okay? Is that all right? Fuck that. Hot for teacher. Got it, babe. Got it, babe.

They're just at the script process right now. He's writing the script and then Mike gets made, so it's not even. Oh. I ain't that far yet even why is his dad tweaking someone probably asked him and someone wrote a blog about it and it spread what year was American Werewolf in London made

let's guess I want to say 90 I'll say 90 no 87 I'll say 92 81 way off but then there's another one like a more current I'll say 92. I'll say 87. 81. Wow. Way off. But then there was another one, like a more current one, right? Oh, yeah.

American Werewolf in Paris was terrible. That's what I'm thinking about. It had that hot French girl. Yes. Oddly hot. See, when you said that's your favorite movie, I completely judged you because I was based on that because that's why it was so bad. But that girl was in an amazing movie that nobody's ever heard of called Killing Zoe.

Let me see that girl. It came out right around the time that, see, Pulp Fiction was made by Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avery. A lot of people forgot about Roger Avery. Roger Avery was a brilliant, brilliant screenwriter, really interesting guy. And he went to jail for a drunk driving accident on the pch in malibu like serious stuff and he was actually tweeting from jail for a while yeah it was way way way back in the day yeah julie delpy but roger avery was tweeting from jail like really interesting shit and one of the things that came out of that was that Quentin Tarantino used to have this rant that he did about

Top gun being like really gay And he did it in some movie, but apparently stolen straight up from Roger Avery. Oh really? He got it from him and just did his bit. Roger Avery had like mapped it all out Oh fuck. And Tarantino just ganked it. Took it. Yeah, and did it in a movie Did it in a movie. Damn. Yeah. Yeah, that's the word And did it in a movie. Did it in a movie. Damn. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the word. But the Roger Avery movie, Killing Zoe, is with that girl, Julie Delpy, and it's excellent. It's really good. It's a crazy, like, drama, crime drama movie. Quentin Tarantino can't miss. Kills it. Ridiculous movies. Kills it. Yeah, it's a bummer, though, when you hear, like, that he stole Roger Avery's Top Gun thing.

I would like to hear his story. Maybe Roger Avery says he stole it, but maybe him and Quentin and Roger Avery came up with it together. Maybe they were drunk, going back and forth. Yeah, yeah. And then maybe Quentin just ran. But I know people have done that before. Doug Stanhope has had a problem with that. He has guys opening with him, and he'll be on the road.

They'll go to a diner, he doug will be riffing about something and they will do it on stage the next day because they don't think it's a bit it's like they're getting in under the wire tarantino and screenwriter roger avery which whom he penned paul fish and that's what i said oh it says the speech was originally written yeah this but let's see if he says that for a separate feature while it's compelling the theory Errors on one. Oh, is this the thing about him stealing it? This is just about the theory itself and then this mentions Him them together writing it while it's compelling the theory errors on one key aspect the duo argue that Top Gun is

Subversion on a mass level but Tony Scott did not set out to make Starship troopers Much of its homoeroticism was happenstance His subversion on a mass level, but Tony Scott did not set out to make Starship Troopers. Much of its homoeroticism was happenstance. Okay. That's just... I'm just showing you that it said that they wrote it together here in this article. Right, but find out if that's true. Find out if Roger Avery says Quentin Tarantino stole that idea from him. So Stanhope would be at a restaurant just making people laugh?

Hanging out. Riffing. Has a couple cocktails in him. Riffing with his opening acts. This was a long time ago. But he had a real issue with it. And those guys would wind up doing his riffs on stage. Like it was their own.

And I don't think he even wanted to say anything to him because he was all pissed off. He was like, fuck, man. I can't even rant around you guys. Damn. Because that's like unspoken shit. Not even unspoken. It's like, you can't do that. That's stealing. That's stealing. Because those are your original ideas.

Yeah, and a guy like Stanhope, rather, that's how he formulates ideas. He bounces them off friends. If he can't bounce them off you because you're just stealing. Stealing shit and his concepts does happen though you know sometimes even this day and age though because you get found out so fast yep right like john jones people still do it people still cheat they try you get caught though in

comedy if we're all hanging out in the back and you say something funny and then a week goes by and some guy goes up and does the same thing that you said, you're fucked. Comedy's way easier to do that with than, say, cheating with steroids. 100%. Because with steroids, the thing with steroids is you can test it. The thing with comedy is you can say, I thought of it too. And you're like, okay, well, Top Gun does seem gay. If you think about it. I mean, Val Kilmer's face is all sweaty and smooth

shaving he's got this like gay fuck boy haircut him and tom cruise look at each other tom cruise gets mad rides off on his motorbike because he's dangerous dangerous people butt fuck okay yeah they do butt fuck with that dude with the crazy hair he's got a slippery shiny smooth face he comes out of the shower with a towel on they They look in each other's eyes. Play volleyball and shit. Yeah. I mean, it's not out of the possibilities that you could come up with that, too. If you just watch it, you're like, yo, dude, is it me?

Or is this a gay movie? I can totally see you saying that. That seems like a total Brendan Shaw line. And we would be howling, be like, it is gay! Look, the woman, what the fuck, what's the woman's name? I look the woman what the fuck was a woman's name I forget the woman who plays his girl Kelly something press places female love interest

She was probably like what is going on here? Fuck me Who wrote it yeah, it's like the gay boy in the corner of this literally like that's what it is like He's struggling with his true nature I mean that's something that anybody could come up with but the question is did roger avery come up with it and did quentin tarantino steal it because you know quentin tarantino has been accused before of using the plot lines from a bunch of real classic japanese movies for his films oh yeah yeah like um like the hateful eight and shit i don't know about that one but i think that was the thing with Reservoir Dogs.

I think Reservoir Dogs was essentially almost like a tribute of a classic Japanese gangster movie. I didn't know that. Yeah. See if that's true. We need like two other people Googling shit. There's so much concepts out there. He takes a lot of whatever influences he'll call it, but it's like Degarex scene stealing or whatever. Right, which is why someone would probably accuse him of doing this with the Roger Avery line.

Did you ever see Roger Avery? Go to see if you can find Roger Avery tweets from prison. It's fascinating because he was in jail and somehow or another he was able to tweet. I don't know how he was pulling it off, but they found out about it after a while and they canned it. Canned his shit. Well, Twitter's been around how long? Not that long. Seven years? 2006. Yeahanned his shit. Well, Twitter's been around how long? Not that long. Seven years?

2006. Yeah, 11 years. Shit. And this was the beginning days of Twitter when hardly anybody was using it. Oscar winning Pulp Fiction writer tweets on life in prison. Look at his face there. He looks like pure shit there.

January, was that say 2008 for drunk driving. Yeah, so he was quite a few years after it started um sickness spreads throughout the facility like bushfires it was great stuff man i remember reading it it's really interesting stuff so you can find it that you wouldn't even think about that like right like a sickness spreading through the place like a bushfire made amazing like there's a poet with his words well he's a brilliant writer yeah and that's why that movie killing zoe which is his movie did he what else did he make super underrated starship troopers it said no i don't think that was him i think that was someone else

they were just talking about the homoeroticism Oh gotcha Versus Quentin Tarantino Rules of Attraction I think Was the one Big one he made too Do you remember that? Yeah Bunch of fucked up shit Happening in that movie

He's got a weird mind For sure Gonna have to be Yeah Reservoir Dogs Beowulf Silent Hill That's right Beowulf

That was a crazy movie man It was like a You're watching a live video game Oh yeah Beowulf was weird Oh Silent Hill Alright Yeah Beowulf was like a you're watching a live video game oh yeah beowulf is weird oh silent hill all right yeah beowulf was like they did it cgi but not realistic remember that well it started off as a video game right no it was like real start off as a fable it's a it's an old old old story and they used uh back when Angelina Jolie was hot.

That's when she hypnotized Brad Pitt. Got him to start drinking. Adopting random kids and shit. Brad, she cracked that dude. She cracks them all. That's a black widow right there, boy.

Billy Bob Thornton. She cracks them. Wrecks them. Had Billy Bob Thornton wearing her blood around her neck and shit. They were both wearing each other's blood.

Crazy. Yeah, she was wrecking them back then. It was just too powerful an attraction. Those lips too. Yeah, that'd do it. Out of the world.

Out of the world. That movie was weird. Yeah. I didn't know she was the tiger and panda. Now you know. Killing the game. Yeah, but it's,

that Beowulf movie was fun because it was like animated, but they used people's faces. So it was kind of close, but you knew, um, that Beowulf movie was fun because it was like animated, but like they use people's faces. So it was like kind of close, but you knew it wasn't real. It was real weird. I don't know if you could pull that off today. You could. It was good.

Yeah. If it was a fun movie, it was good. Like that movie? I guess Avatar is a little bit of that. Nah, because Avatar, the people look like people. In this movie, nobody looks like a person. Yeah, but the avatars look, they do look like aliens, but they still have

the same kind of CGI quality. Yeah, like you can tell it's the actor. Yeah, that's true. But it looks a lot better than this shit. Way better.

But that's also because it's not a person. See, that's the sneaky trick about CGI is that CGI works best on something that's not real. Because you have nothing to base it off of.

Exactly. Yeah. That's why CGI is so it off of. Exactly. Yeah. That's why CGI is so bad with animals. Like when you see those wolves in the Game of Thrones, like, that's not really there. True. Although Jungle Book said, what up? It's not bad.

Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty fucking good. It's getting way better for sure. Way better. It's like it's at the edge of what they call the uncanny valley. You know what the uncanny valley is? It's like the gap between something that looks hyper-realistic

and something that looks totally fake. Yeah. It's like you get to this point where you're like, wow, almost. It's real close. And then you can't tell. Wish I could stop clearing my throat. Try not to, folks.

Your throat's fucked up. You're getting mad. No, it's the weed. Smoked weed before this podcast. I'll take that throat problem over shitting my pants right now. I'm worried for that slingshot. I'll just light that bathroom up one more time before you leave. You don't want to get on that PCH and start spraying people behind you.

When that ocean wind hits you. Woo! Fucking trouble. Imagine you're driving in your car and just shit splatters on your windshield. Bro, you shit on my Porsche. You shit on my fucking Porsche. We have problems. If you were in that slingshot and your diarrhea is just flying out of your ass, and maybe you have beaver fever.

You know what beaver fever is? flying out of your ass. And maybe you have beaver fever. You know what beaver fever is? Beaver fever is when people drink water. They get out of the ground, like a creek water. You get giardia. It's from beavers shitting in the water.

Like, literally, you're getting bacteria. Giardia literally comes from animal shit. Well, I got beaver fever from this coffee. But when you get it, you're like hurting. I'm not doing well. I'm trying to be cool. Trying to put on my happy face. But you look like you have plenty of energy. Yeah, I feel all right.

I'm a good actor. I feel like at any given point I could shit my pants. I just can't believe you haven't shit your pants before. Ever? Maybe when I was a kid. Man, one time I was coming home. Or maybe in here just now. I was coming home from Fear Factor once when I filled my pants up like one of them glad

hefty bags like a construction worker would use. Throw cement in there or something. I just couldn't hold it in. I was like, Jesus, Jesus. Oh, no. It was just What the fuck Epic Why

Epic What car were you in I don't remember Did you shit your Supra No no no It was past that The Supra I had in 95 Or something like that

God bro What the fuck 96 You just let these logs Get over I didn't want to I don't remember The exact specifics But I do't remember the exact specifics,

but I do absolutely remember filling my underwear with shit. In my car going, fuck. Maybe I was stuck in traffic. I don't remember the specifics, but I for sure shit my pants. It must have been so bad

for you to go, fuck it. It was no... There was no argument on my part. I really didn't have the willpower. There was nothing there that could stop this ridiculous place. It was just going to take place. There's levels to everything, bro. There's levels to diarrhea. I agree, man.

There's certain levels to diarrhea where like, listen, I don't care how much sphincter workouts you've been doing. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah, when that thing's coming. Do you think, I would imagine like your butt is probably, you know how girls do like Kegel exercises? Kegel exercises to me, it's like, man, who's got that, is that muscle even developed? You're on a long road ahead of you tightening that bad bitch up. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if it's possible. It is. Russian chicks can carry weights with them. There's a woman from Russia that has the world record of 70 kilos with her pussy. She clamps down. They put a golf ball on the end of a rope and attach it to a kettlebell.

I bet there's some gay boys who can carry some shit. Stuffs that golf ball in her pussy and just clamps it down, carries that weight around. I don't want that. But your butt would be way easier to clamp down. But I don't care who you are. If you had the diarrhea I had that day, it's coming out. I'm telling you right now, if you get a Metro brew with extra shots, you go and sizzle in your pants.

How to do butt kegels. Here we go. There we go. Here we go. Butt kegels. What's the website we're dealing with here? Luxury Spot. Luxury Spot. Is it a girl website?

Probably. Butt kegels. They're not just for women. What they are and how to do them. Get larger, please. Let me read this. No, no, no. Larger.

Yeah, there we go. Why do butt kegels? Kegels are designed to tighten the, wow, look at this word. P-U-B-O-C-O-C-C-Y-G-E-U-S. Pupo cocky-us. Pupo cocky-us muscles. Your asshole. The PC muscles are used for two things.

Clenching your anus and controlling the flow of urine. Anytime you stop yourself midstream at the urinal, these are the PC muscles at work. Well, my shit's working overtime right now. My anus clenching skills. I'm like Cain Velasquez. I have stamina. skills. I'm like Cain Velasquez. I have stamina.

Women with strong PC muscles tend to have tighter, stronger vaginas, which often means stronger contractions during orgasms. If you know anything about orgasms, you know that stronger is always better. All caps. If you know anything about orgasms. That's not a very technical way to write.

Men, on the other hand, use the PC muscles to stop their urine mid-flow, but also to stop urine from coming out in the first place. When you feel the need to use the bathroom but have to hold it thanks to a long line, those are the PC muscles doing the work. So you're clenching your PC muscles so you can stop your flow of piss. Or you're tightening up your asshole Oh

You will be able to clench to stop gas from passing through your anus to hold your waist until you reach a toilet And even to eliminate waste more efficiently be a big be better at getting butt fucked That too tight down about why did he leave that out of there? You're talking about for women but kegels is an exercise that they use for tightening your vagina to enhance intercourse. So you're calling it Kegels, and you're saying I'm doing it to stop shitting myself? How often is this taking place? Maybe you should reconsider your diet before you sit around like an asshole just clenching your butt all day. Well, I wish I did those exercises last night.

Well, no, then you'd be fatigued. You want to do them like two weeks ago. You want to be fresh. You want to start it out. You got to peak at the right time. I didn't expect this, though. Got to build up. I did my run today, and I went harder and stronger than I've ever done it before.

I still suck at it. Long distance? It's all hills. You know, I'm doing two miles, and it's like a very steep hill. Beastie. But I can do it longer. I know I suck at it still but when you know that you're making just like a little bit of progress just a little bit of

progress you know that's the same thing with butt kegels you can't just i've been doing this go back i've been running for a long time right i've been running for not a long time still running with those vibrant shoes not today today i didn't because didn't because I've been hunting with these things. These Solomons. Don't have laces on them? No. Like Velcro for kids? They pull tight with a cord and then slides down. The cord tucks into the mouth of your shoe. Very easy to tighten up when you're in the field.

Makes sense. Out there in the field. You don't have time to tie your shoe. But I like the Vibram Five Fingers better, but I wanted to get a real hard run in today and I have to be more careful where I step when I wear those five finger shoes. I can just go reckless, hard,

full out with these things on. I'll step anywhere. It doesn't matter. So you can get a better workout. Yeah, because with the Vibrams, if I hit a sharp rock, I'm kind of fucked. With this, I'm not even feeling that shit. With these things, I can run over pretty much anything. But I think for controlling... What's up? close it's almost two o'clock I don't know I want all the fucks with my sphincter muscles or whatever was keep it together I just

it's a your face is amazing this is your facecipline. This is your face. Ready? Here's you. Like Jesus. You know what you like? You know what your face looks like? I like his cheeks. You ever do that teacup ride at Disney? When you do that thing and you're spinning and you're kind of going too fast? Like, oh, oh, oh. Me?

I don't want to be the first guy to shit his pants on the podcast. Me and Cam Haynes and our kids got in one of them teacup things, and with me and him going full clip. I mean full clip. I don't know how fast. I don't know if there's a limitation on how fast those things go, but it ain't getting any faster than the way we got it. It was so ridiculous.

We were spinning so fast. Did you guys feel sick? Oh, totally sick. Dude, my youngest, my seven-year-old, is fucking nuts. She loves to go on those things fast. Do you guys feel sick? Oh, totally sick. Dude, my youngest, my seven-year-old, is fucking nuts. She loves to go on those things fast. Like, there's a carousel at the mall that's actually way faster than the one at Disneyland. Really? Yeah, they have a teacup thing on there.

And right down the street, the Panga Mall, you grab that fucking steering wheel and start whipping around. It goes so fast. Your head is like, you're holding your, you have to use all your muscles to keep your head from just That's what you look like right here you like that's like yeah, it's the same thing is like you're on a teacup I really Driving that slingshot bidding dude Just stick your asshole up in the air when you get on the highway

When you come over the crest of the 405 and you get that big long hill. Just pull your pants down. Lift your ass in the air. Just, ah! No, son, I'm taking Topania Canyon so no one sees me shit that slingshot out. Callan has a great story about being with a girl once, like many, many moons ago. And he was going on a hike with her and he had a shit. And so he came up with something.

I go, hold on. I hear something. And he made a game out of it. Then he ran and shit. And she thought it was really funny. And she's like, what are you doing? He's like, nothing. I heard something.

I thought, no big deal. I'm just making sure that we're safe. And then they kept hiking. And then he's like, oh my god, I have to shit again. And then he ran away again. And she's like, what are you doing? And then she realized he was shitting. She's like, oh, my God, I have to shit again. And then he ran away again. And she's like, what are you doing? And then she realized he was shitting. She's like, oh, no.

Oh, no. Sorry. He's just out there in the woods. There's nothing he can do. He's shitting himself. There's just nothing he can do. It's a fucking animal, man. It is life.

It is life. It's a weird thing, man. Like the inefficiency of the body. Like, breaking everything down, but not this stuff. Get it out of here. Your body's like, this is not good, man. Get it out of here now. I wonder if, like...

It's like hot lava. That's a good... Is that a good design? Yeah, it's efficient. Like, is there any animal? Is there any animal, like... Or plant. Does a plant do that?

Like, the plant takes things in, but the plant doesn't shit anything out, right? Plant gets rid of waste. Does it? Gets rid of oxygen. It processes carbon dioxide and turns it into oxygen, but it's not waste. That's like us. We breathe out carbon dioxide. I wouldn't necessarily say it's waste.

It's just we're transferring. But if that carbon dioxide was in your body, you'd die, right? So we're getting rid of it. No. It doesn't kill you. Obviously, you're making it. You're pushing it out. You just don't want to have too much of it or you can get sick. But do you know that the air is not really mostly oxygen?

Do you know what most of the air is? Nitrogen. Nitrogen. Like a massive percentage of it. I think it's in like the high 80s, right? I want to say 68%, something like that. Let's find out. The plant just turns it into carbon dioxide. That's it. That's all they do. That's amazing.

So what they're getting out of the water and out of the soil, they figure out a way to use. But what percentage of the air is nitrogen? I really want to say it's in the 80s, but I don't know. I'm just making it up. You know, they pull nitrogen out of the air and use it for fertilizer.

78%. 78%. Goddamn, that's high. It's a lot. It's mostly nitrogen. 21% oxygen. That's crazy. You would think the air is mostly oxygen and carbon dioxide.

For sure. That's what I was taught in school. But all the other animals, living organisms, maybe besides plants, release the waste, same as we do. Yeah. Every other mammal, fish, they all do it. You know what's crazy is that there's nitrogen around us all the time. And a dude figured out how to extract that nitrogen out of the air and use it for fertilizer. And that's why there's so many people on the earth today. There's a named Fritz Haber and he made something called the Haber method of extracting nitrogen

He did it like in World War one the genius He also created zyklon a which is the shit that they use they change it a no the stuff that they say gassed the Jews with Fucking he didn't mean to concentration camps no he made his icon a which had a scent to it and then they were because so you could tell what I was there to get away from it and they removed the scent and created Zyklon B and that's what they used to gas the Jews and the gas man crazy and he was Jewish he had no idea more fucked up so he was there during World War one and then when World War two was happening that's when he had to leave Germany and one of dying having a heart attack. Yes crazy shit, man

He was he was also this was like the nuttiest thing about a harbor At the time he was receiving the Nobel Prize For creating the Haber method of extracting nitrogen out of the atmosphere. Rightfully so. He also was wanted for crimes against humanity because he was gassing the British and Canadian, I think it was, troops. He was the first guy that initiated a gas attack. Jesus Christ. Crazy. So this guy that's responsible, the nitrogen from the Haber method is responsible for some insane percentage of the nitrogen that's in people's bodies that comes from food.

Like they think it's something around like half. Like half of the nitrogen that you have in your body from food was a direct result of them extracting it out of the air with the Haber method. Which is like, what? And this is the same guy that was gassing allied forces. And this is the same guy that created this Zyklon A which eventually became Zyklon B that they used to gas the Jews. Brilliant dude.

Brilliant dude, but nuts. His wife apparently shot herself in front of him because she disagreed with, who knows, what the whole thing was, but what he was doing and he was off to war and all this thing. So in front of him, he shot herself. He left his dying wife with his 13 year old son said, see, I got to go to war.

He's a terrible person. Who knows? I mean, who knows what the actual circumstances were? You know, like, I guess you'd have to get like all the variables of why he left. The son might have had other people to watch out for him. He had no option other than to leave. You could drop him off at a friend's house, for God's sakes. I don't know if the kid was with somebody or not is my point.

But that's the story behind it is this one brilliant guy that figured out a way to extract nitrogen became this fucking creator of a monster. Yeah, but also the reason why I mean maybe somebody would have figured it out eventually but he's the reason why they were able to do that during World War one you think someone eventually came on figure it out yeah that's that's I think with most things with most things I think that was the case like with the invention of light bulb I think there's a bunch of people that are working on it at the same time and the invention invention of, I think the telephone was the same thing, radio was the same thing. There's always like almost inventions, like we were talking about that chip that sort of rewires your DNA.

There's always these inventions that open up the possibility of other inventions. And then the technology that allows for an invention like that gets analyzed by a bunch of different people. like that gets analyzed by a bunch of different people so there's a lot you know it's always one of those things where anytime something happens today there's a network it's very rare that one person figures one thing out that nobody ever saw before it's like there's a network of inventions and innovations also yeah because you need machines for sure and computers and all these different things that other people have created that allow you to do the calculations to invent something new.

So all it feeds off of all of it. And then isn't it the best kind of, sometimes, the best marketer, best talker, they get the notoriety for it sometimes? Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes. Just like fighting, right? Mm-hmm. Coming full circle. So, before we end this, Canelo or Gennady Golovkin?

Oh, my God. What a fucking fight. Well, your lady is Mexican, so you've got to this, Canelo or Gennady Golovkin? Oh, my God. What a fucking fight. Well, your lady is Mexican, so you got to root for Canelo. Otherwise, you'd be ostracized. And they're from the same hometown, Guadalajara. They'll kick you the fuck out. I'm rooting for Canelo. I'm rooting for a good performance, Brendan Shaw, because that's what I do.

That's what you do. I do. I have to. Not in this case. Yep. Why? Because I want to see what happens. I That's what you do. I do. I have to. Not in this case. Yep. Why? Because I want to see what happens. I want to see what happens.

I don't have a guy I want to win. Me neither. If Triple G wins, I'm not going to be bummed out. No, I just want a good fight. Exactly. I want to see what happens. But I'm that guy. I don't want to see either guy lose.

Hmm. I like both of them. I'm like, fuck. I don't want any guy to lose. I don't want anyone to have that L. Put that weigh in today, too. Oh, yeah. Would that little kid punched that guy in the dick? That's his son punched that guy in the dick.

Billy Joe Saunders. He's a great following. Why is this little kid on the fucking stage? He gets on the scale. He gets on the scale. And the guy's like, no, don't do that, dude. Look at this. He's flexing.

Kid's on the scale. And he's just like, what's up, little man? And he punched this. He's flexing. Kid's on the scale. And he's just like, what's up, little man? And he punched him. And he kicked him. That's so fucked up. That's such a bad look.

Well, it's so stupid that they let that little kid be there. What if he punched that kid right in the face? Shut the fuck up. At least slap him.

What if he kicked him? Be good to go. Tie boxing him right in the face. I'm about to throw At least slap him. What if he kicked him? Be good to go. Just tie boxing him right in the face. I'm about to throw up. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. Next time,

the lady at Starbucks says don't put in two extra shots. She's fucking right. Yeah, you can't add extra shots to a caveman nitro unless you're Tate Fletcher. Tate Fletcher can consume. He can throw that

caveman nitro down like it's water. Let's just wrap this up before you shit yourself. I'm going to throw up and shit myself. What do you think is going on here? Not good. This is my prediction. I think if Triple G doesn't stop him, Canelo wins in a decision. The public's

pissed. Because you've got to look at the politics of it. Golden Boy. What? And Canelo is the headliner. Wait a minute. You're saying if Triple G Hold the music, please. You're saying if Triple G outboxes him, he won't get the decision? Nope. Boxing for you. I think he would.

Because I think it sets up the rematch. I think you get a rematch no matter what, even if it gives a decision. As long as no one gets stopped. So you really think that if Triple G puts on a show and outboxes Canelo, he'll get robbed? You'd have to outclass him for like 10 rounds, which I don't think he will. I think if it's even close, like let's say it's like seven to six, something like, something crazy, you know? Yeah.

My concern with Canelo is that he might not have the endurance for a prolonged firefight. And you think Triple G does? Yes. Because he did it against Jacobs. Yeah, he got pretty tight against Jacobs. Yeah, but that was a goddamn firefight as well, and he won that fight. Completely different fight. It was a very good fight.

Some people don't think you won the fight. You don't think you won that fight? It's close. Oh, I thought he won the fight. I'd give it to him. It's fucking close. Jacob's a completely different fight than Canelo. I actually just watched that the other day.

Great fight. I forgot how good it was. Jacobs is a motherfucker. I had to clear some space on my DVR, so I was deleting some boxing matches. I know how that goes. You know how that goes. You get to a certain thing you're like why do I have a hundred

Ted Nugent Spirit of the Wild saved yeah you have to shove bullshit in there so I got to that fight and I said

ooh let me watch this again because this is Triple G fights coming up this weekend that was like Jacobs can fight his ass off that was a great fight

toughest fight for Triple G everyone's like oh he's over the hill I'm like no Jacobs is just a monster legit and completelyest fight for Triple G. Everyone's like, oh, he's over the hill. I'm like, no, Jacob's just a monster. Legit. And completely different fight than Canelo. His footwork.

It makes me wish Terrence Crawford was just a little bigger. I know. You know, because he's about 45 now. He'll go up to 47. He wants to fight Pacquiao. Yeah. And I wish he was like 160, you know? Me too.

Because he's a thin fella, you know? But I just don't. I think part of like his style is like he's built perfect for the way he fights. Yeah. You know? Amazing. He's got perfect endurance. If you put more weight on him, he'd probably be weighed down a little bit.

It'll slow him down. He's definitely in his zone. 40, 47. Yeah. That's the right weight class. Boxing's having a killer year, man. It is. Now they have Anthony Joshua.

He's fighting. And then you have- Legit Goliath heavyweight champion built like a statue. Looks like a Greek god. Yeah. And then you also have- And well, like really well spoken, super polite- Under Armour athlete. British guy.

Yep. Yeah. And then you got- Phenomenal. Phenomenal. You got Wilder, Deontay Wilder fighting fucking, what's his name? The fucking Cuban killer. Oh, yeah oh yeah king kong yes he's fighting him yeah i think it's a rough fight for yes wow i think it's a bad idea yeah then those the winners

of each of those will fight yeah it's a good time for boxing but tomorrow's the big one tomorrow's the big one tomorrow like really can't wait shows who the superstar in boxing is because lomachenko i think is like one of the most skillful guys ever. But he's not being challenged. He's not a draw. Well, there's also not a guy in his division that stands out as being the guy he has to fight. He's like Mighty Mouse. Yeah.

Whereas Canelo and Triple G is the fight that everybody's wanted to see for a while. I think you're going to get a trilogy from that. Canelo up. Who knows? Who knows how it plays out? I can't wait, though. Yeah, I wonder. I really wonder what's going to happen.

I'm super fascinated. Me too. And then you also have, what do you think about David Branch versus Luke Rockhold tomorrow? I haven't seen it myself. People are like, hey, have you seen Rockhold at Wayne's? It doesn't look the same. No, no, no. Not looking good.

What Wayne's? They had Wayne's yesterday. Oh, yesterday at Wayne's. Oh. When you're saying at Wayne's, I was thinking like other Wayne's? Like-ins yesterday. Oh, yesterday at weigh-ins. Yeah. Oh. When you're saying at weigh-ins, I was thinking like other weigh-ins? Like what weigh-ins? Oh, here. I forgot that it's today.

Yeah. The weigh-in's today. The fight's tomorrow. The weigh-ins were today, yeah. Yeah. And people were complaining about it. Let's see. Try to get a picture of Luke Rockhold from today's weigh-in.

Yeah. I mean, Luke's a, you could argue he's the best middleweight in the world. You know, he had that rough. How can you argue with that if Michael Bisping knocked him out? Hear me out here. You could say he's not because Michael Bisping's the real champ, but he got caught by Bisping, right? But before that, Luke Rockhold's a motherfucker. Hector Lombard's back.

Did you hear that Tiago Alves had a back out? Yeah. Lombard's fighting a big guy. Was that what it is, because of a hurricane? Yeah. There's nothing wrong with Rockhold. He looks fine. The thinnest I've ever seen him.

Talking shit to each other. Rockhold should destroy him. I want to hear what they were saying, man. Oh, listen, David Branch is no joke, dude. Don't get confused. If Rockhold fucks up and gets clipped by Branch, what are they saying to each other? No volume? Branch has been talking shit for a while now.

Can't hear nothing? Yeah, see if he can hear it. Number three, former UFC middleweight champion Luke Rockhold versus the ninth-ranked David Branch. That's Anik. Let me hear this. I'm going to break you up, son. I'm going to break you up, son. I'm going to break you up, son. We'll see.

We'll see. We'll see. Hey! All right. That's a good fight. That wasn't great shit talking. I'm going to break you up, son. What does that mean?

I'm going to break you up, son. It would be funny if you said that. I'm going to get all up in that ass. What does that mean? What does that mean? What exactly does that mean? Well, you're not going to win a fight, right? You know that. So what are you going to do? You'm going to break you off, son. It'd be funny if you said that. I'm going to get all up in that ass. What does that mean? What does that mean? What exactly does that mean? Well, you're not going to win a fight, right? You know that.

So what are you going to do? You're going to break me up? You're going to break me up? What does that mean? What does that mean? Luke's been gone for a while. Branch is a tough customer, and he's a former world champion at World Series fighting at light heavyweight, middleweight.

But if you're not in the UFC, I don't give a fuck. You're not fighting the same guys Luke Rockhold fought. Well, he fought Rumble,ble anyone went to a decision in World lost a decision to rumble in World Series and light heavyweight. Yeah, that's rumble World Series He was still scary a world beater wasn't that long ago Because it wasn't though rumble in the UFC also Dave branch had his run in the UFC before the World Series not good I think there's a World Series of fighting does work Well Gerald Harris KO'd him with a slam in his first fight from the guard picked him up slammed him was a great slam

you'll see yeah yeah and then he lost to someone it's like it depends like how focused motivated very skillful he's very skillful his ground game is very good talking about branch or ruckle branch I think I'm the ground rated see it you can't say underrated cuz he's underrated because he's playing Grab S World Series of Fighting. It's not even close to that. I mean, you're talking about WNBA compared to NBA. I just think he's very talented. And if Rockhold doesn't take him seriously the same way he didn't take Bisping seriously, he'd get fucked up.

100%. There's a lot of pressure on Rockhold because he's been gone for a while. You know, he needs this win. The only way I think Rockhold gets fucked up is, again, yeah, if you don't think I'm serious. Yes. And if, you know, if his heart's not in it. Yes. But if a game Rockhold shows up, a game David Brandt shows up, Rockhold destroys him.

You know what, Rockhold. I could see Rockhold even submitting him. Underrated with his top position. Monster. His top game is like having a fucking tree on you. His jiu-jitsu is ridiculous. Yeah, very ridiculous. You look at the Lyoto Machida fight, beat the shit out of him from the top position.

Look at the, like, when he got Weidman down. When he got Weidman down, you could see, like, Weidman was, like, shocked. He submitted Bisbing with one arm after a head kick, but still. I think if Rockhold's stand-up is going to be the difference maker in this. And he's got a long reach, man. He's huge. He's got to make sure that he doesn't fuck up and get clipped again. But I want to see what happens.

Because when a guy like Rockhold, who has a lot to lose but not a lot to gain, fights a guy like Branch, who has the golden opportunity in front of him. I mean, if Branch can beat Rockhold, it's just gigantic. Huge for Branch. I mean, huge. And I've been watching it's just gigantic. Huge for Branch. I mean, huge. And I've been watching his training footage. He's training fucking hard. Just the question is, is it hard enough?

Has he, I mean, is he in that kind of shape? Is he at world-class level? He's really never fought anybody like Rockhold other than Rumble in the World Series. But also, with Branch, it's like, are you gonna take the fucking governor off and go after it? Because his last fight, maybe it's like, are you going to take the fucking governor off and go after it? Because his last fight, maybe it's just the dance partner. Even the World Series fight, he's not murking guys.

So it's like in the UFC, he's never been that guy everyone was afraid of. Luke Rockhold will take the governor off and kick you in the fucking face. It's a very interesting fight because it's supposed to be, if you looked at it on paper, it would be more of a showcase fight for Rockhold. Rockhold was the former champion. I don't think David Branch is ranked in the top five. I think he's nine. Yeah.

Yeah. That makes sense. So it's a big opportunity for Branch, you know? There you go, nine. How old is Branch? I want to say he's like 36. Can't tell with black guys. How dare you?

You son of a bitch. It's a good thing. 35. Yeah, so he's not too old. It's going to be interesting. And then Rockhold is like, what, 30? Rockhold's still pretty young. I think.

The thing about Rockhold, he needs this fight because out of sight, out of mind. Oh, yeah. He doesn't find a grip, so everyone's like, all right, let's see it. Not only that, everybody remembers Bisping clipping him, knocking him out, and then talking mad shit to him inside the cage after he knocked him out. Is this fight tonight or Saturday night? Tomorrow night. Is it for sure tomorrow night? We're doing a fight

companion, but you're not gonna be here. You guys are doing a fight companion instead of, uh... I'll watch that later. Triple G. I can't miss Triple G. I gotta see. I gotta miss the fight companion. Maybe I'll watch a little bit of Triple G. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I cannot fucking watch. We've got multiple screens here. Oh, we'll watch a little bit of the Triple G, a little bit of that. I cannot fucking watch. We've got multiple screens here. Yeah.

Oh, we'll watch both. With Eddie Bravo, why not put one of them on YouTube as well? The Eddie Bravo playlist in the background. You see Tower 7 collapsing. We'll put K1 on one of the screens. I just can't miss it, man. Yeah, this card's not that bad. You know, it would have been a lot better with Thiago Alves and Mike Perry.

That would be a crazy fucking fight. Mike Perry's a monster. They're both American top team, too. That's right. Yeah, Perry's a monster, but Thiago is just very skillful. There's a big difference. Okay, he's fighting Alex Reyes. Stepped up.

Alex Reyes is no joke, man. 13-2. Who's Alex Reyes fought? I've seen him fight yeah right like what kind of shape is he in and can he make the weight what does it say no record there it's not well they have to update it fight

history all right let's wrap this fucker up good night everybody fighter in the kid t-fatk.com. Long Beach next Friday. Laugh Factory. Laugh Factory. Laugh Factory, Long Beach, tfatk.com. Live.

Live. Tickets for the first show just went on sale today for New Year's Eve. Tickets for the second show, the 10 o'clock show, or I think they're sold out, at the Wiltern in los angeles me and the great and powerful ian edwards who's in my opinion one of the funniest fucking comedians working in the world today so uh first show is going to be at 7 30 7 second show is at 10 uh 7 30 tickets went on sale a couple hours ago all right you fuckers we'll see you soon. Bye-bye. Big kiss. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.