The Joe Rogan Experience - #1053 - Neal Brennan

Episode Date: December 14, 2017

Neal Brennan is a stand-up comedian, actor, writer, director and producer. He is known for co-creating and co-writing “Chappelle’s Show” with Dave Chappelle. His recent special "Neal Brennan: 3 Mics" is available now on Netflix.

Fuckers. Yeah. I wish because I don't have any need for the backseat. Four, three, two, one. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Ladies and gentlemen, we're live. Fuck.

We're live on the day of net neutrality. We might not be broadcasting anymore. Might be over. I don't know how that works. I don't know. When does it kick in? Right away. I don't know.

I have no idea. Probably takes a month. That's a good thing about it. By the way, has there ever been like a harder time to be a citizen meaning like it's just what how much i'd never had to pay this much attention i know right like come on i it's like fucking we have to babysit it's like their children that we have to like wait what are they doing no no like where they used to kind of be able to take care of themselves yeah or seemingly could there's not one place where you can go where you can get one. Are you shaking that before you open it?

Yeah, should I not shake it? You're a fucking maniac. Bro, I don't give a fuck. It's just going to explode all over the place. All right, then I'll give it a second. Yeah, you got to let that fucker rest. The worst ones are those little small ones that I have, those cayenne cleanses. You shake those bitches, they just fucking shoot up to the ceiling.

Is that true? Yeah, it's all fermented. It's all carbonated, you know, yeah But there's no one source where you can absolutely get 100% unbiased factual information as the news everything is Leaning one way or leaning another way and even CNN which I used to trust all the time. They fuck up all the time They're always having to print retractions. There was something that was going around today It's just there's not one news source where I can say, please just give me the unbiased information with no left or right lean.

Yes. Do I get that? Which we talked about beforehand. When there's, like even the idea of the New York Times. What people don't understand is, people don't understand journalism a lot of the time. Like literally when people go, it's fake news. It's like, you know, you can't print fake news because they, you ever, you ever have anything in the New Yorker?

You ever be quoted in a New York article? I, they literally, you talk to the journalist, then two different fact checkers call you to confirm what you said. And like, is this true? Right. Is this, and I literally, this is in an article about someone else that I gave a quote for. And like, did you say that? And you can confirm that?

And they do that. They do that at every major journalistic uh outfit they did the new york times washington post uh like name the big ones they all have they're not as stringent as the new york as the new yorker because new yorker only comes out once a week but they all have fact checkers and they can get and the thing is these institutions can get sued right this is not a good example, but it's an example. The Conor McGregor fight. New York Times wrote an article about the Conor McGregor fight.

And one of the things they said that he was covered in blood and rescued by the referee before he fell through the ropes. I contacted them on Twitter and I said, in this day and age, you can't say things that everyone knows are false. Like millions of people watched that fight there was no blood yeah he was not falling through the ropes the referee rescued him you made that up he was outclassed and battered by a far superior boxer which is what most boxing people expected that's the real story yeah but you guys added a bunch of shit to it yeah

so they were that's for sure Yeah, it's not just shading It's yeah, it's a straight lie. I know it's not because it's not Really it doesn't there's no lose in consequential. It's not a really simple little moment Yeah, it's not like a big moment time and the result is the same but their description of the result makes you wonder How much other things do you do this to how many other subjects do you flavor in this weird way? What was the retraction? Because I remember seeing you write that. I was like, oh, that's cool.

Yeah. And they changed it. But they still used hyperbole even in their retraction. They said his face was completely swollen. It wasn't. It wasn't. A quadrant of his face was swollen. A tiny amount.

A little bit of swelling from a boxing match. Not some crazy fucking Hasim Rahman shit. Remember that one? of his face was swollen. Yeah, a tiny amount. A little bit of swelling from a boxing match. Not like, not some crazy like fucking Hasim Rahman shit on his head. Remember that one? Where like, had an iron on his head?

Literally the fun, like maybe the craziest thing I've ever seen in a fight. It was disgusting. This huge hematoma growing out of his forehead. See if you can find that.

Yes. Hasim Rahman. Yeah. Lennox Lewis, right? Was it the lennox lewis fight uh yeah i don't remember um but yeah it was like he literally had to go to dr pimple pop yeah look at that oh my god dr pimple popper that's hilarious like that that was that was a wild yeah that was an enormous swelling in his head he looks like a war criminal and an alien.

Which is hard to do. Yeah. So if that, I mean, that's his face is completely swollen. I don't disagree that they do shade invariably. But you shouldn't. You shouldn't. You should tell the exact story. The exact story was really clear for everybody that watched, the two million people plus

that watched it on pay-per-view or more, it wasn't something that you can get away with bullshitting about. Okay, but this wasn't a problem five years ago. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't a problem day-to-day. And that's the thing that I was yelling at somebody yesterday. and that's the thing that I was yelling at somebody yesterday of like the uh once people once Fox News created this thing of of of like uh extremely shaded shit and people saw there's a market for it they're like all right we'll do

that like we'll all do that now yeah and then everyone's everyone's, everyone's reacting, but they don't think they're reacting. But, and now the New York Times is trying to go the other way where they're, they hired this guy, Brett Stevens to write op-ed pieces. And every week there's a new, like, what did you just say? Like, yeah. Cause they're trying to be like, they're trying to be, uh, kind of moderate or see both sides. And a lot of people on the left are going like, but that's, how are you seeing both sides to like slavery?

Or how are you seeing, like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, what's both sides of climate change? It's all, they're scientists and not scientists. That's like, those are the sides. So why are you, this is basically appeasement. I guess as a, you as a consumer of this stuff, when I was to get into this conversation, I wasn't even talking about journalism. I was talking about government. I was talking about the amount of fucking work it takes just to be like, I got to worry about statutes and fucking the FCC and fucking executive orders.

And just like, I never had to do all this. Yeah. Like, why is this so much? I don't know if it's I mean, they would say, like, you know, to be an active democracy, it's only as good as citizens and all that shit. But but it seems like we're all more involved and it's worse. You know what I mean? Like, it's like it's way more involved and it's worse. You know what I mean? It's way more upsetting. It's constant upset.

It feels like havoc every single day. Well, it's definitely not good, especially from the environmental side. Whenever a president is short-sighted about the environment, that scares the shit out of me because that has repercussions for generation upon generation. And he's doing it for short-term money grabbing. Like the EPA being essentially gutted. What they're doing in Alaska where they're making roads and they're setting up mines near the salmon fisheries. With the monuments.

With the Utahs, with the monuments. Yeah. It's scary. Because they're just chopping away, just chopping away. And the repercussions could be forever. We have an amazing system here in this country in terms of like the amount of public land that we have and the beautiful places where you can go and check out. All it takes is one or two assholes that have a mine, one or two assholes that allow drilling

for oil in these places all they all they have to do is extract resources from these public places yeah and we're fucked and those places are ruined forever yeah not just for your kids but for your grandchildren for everybody yeah it's like i hope you like equipment because there's gonna be a lot of fucking equipment at these places now yeah that's the thing that I'm curious about. People that voted for Trump, like, is this what you wanted? They just didn't want a Democrat. Yeah, I know.

I have a notion that they felt excluded by elitism and going to Davos and the Hamptons and all these places and the Aspen Ideas Festival and TED Talks and all this shit. So it's like, hey, fuck you. But this is, which I get the notion of fuck you, but this is like, dude, you can't tell me that Obama stressed you out on this level. The level of Trump stress that is just created in the culture, that's what I'm saying. Like it's havoc every day. Yeah.

It's like a fucking melee. But do you feel the stress every day? Do you, I mean, are you. I do. Like there are days where I'm like, I can't look at my phone. I literally can't. Like a couple of days ago I was looking at something and it was the, it was maybe before the, maybe two, three days ago.

and it was maybe before, maybe two, three days ago. There are days where it's so in the red for cultural or political toxicity. I'm just like, Jesus, I can't. This is like inducing cortisol. I think that's a good argument also to stay the fuck away from the news and social media for a few days a week. Yeah. There have been a few days a week. Yeah.

There have been a few. You see the people in the past couple of days that like Facebook execs being like, we've kind of torn society apart. Didn't mean to. Whoops. Yeah. I saw that one Facebook exec was apologizing for what they've done. They've essentially engineered people to be programmed. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we've essentially engineered this thing where you're going to be addicted to it. You're going to be tuning into it constantly. And the things that are going to attract you the most are things that freak you the fuck out. So that's going to take prominence. Yeah.

But that, you know, that's a, there's a market. There's definitely a market. Definitely a market. But yeah, it's just, it's a bad idea to have a popularity contest to see who controls the nukes. It's a terrible idea. have a popularity contest to see who controls the nukes. It's a terrible idea, and that's what we have. This is a real example of an old system that really shouldn't exist anymore. I had an idea a couple weeks ago that I was like, I've got to run that by Joe.

As a jumping off point for a conversation. Robot president. Ooh. Do you know what I mean? Yeah Logical, super logical Pure logic, stats No emotions

Takes all of history Human history, the 2000 recorded history 2000 years, you know Really 200 years But like And takes it all into account Even takes literature into account Like account even takes literature into account like plots right like takes shakespeare into account takes plots you know hammer the eighth

all that shit and then wouldn't that isn't that kind of what you want yeah like isn't that kind of what you want and even if if if they say if the robot president says, I've come to this decision, it was 55-45 in favor. Because that's all, like, the older you get, I'm not 100% anything. Like, even, I really love Louie's joke in his last special, which weirdly didn't make any top ten lists for the year. One of those weird things. I listened to it on the plane back from Hawaii a couple weeks ago. It was fucking great. It was great.

The last, I watched it actually, the last few bits were fucking killer. Just killer. Was that the one about the fingering and the- Magic Mike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fingering. Magic Mike was great and the fingering. Magic Mike, yeah.

Do my bidding. God damn it, that fucking made me laugh. It was a great bit. It made me laugh so goddamn hard. I mean, this is months ago. This is before we knew anything about the guy. I did it right after I knew about him. Yeah, of course.

We can get into that in a second. But Louie did the thing about abortion that he opened with. And he's like, if you, they think they're killing babies. I'd be out every day if that's what I thought. I just don't see it that way. But it's the idea of like there's so many debates that people won't admit to any doubt about. Like I'm 80-20. I'm 20%.

Abortion, you know. I would have one probably. I've never had the privilege. I've never needed to get one. But, like, and I think if other people want to get one, cool. But at the same time, I see what your argument is. Yeah, I see both sides. I think there's a certain time where it's a baby.

You know, a certain amount of months in where, like, okay, you're killing a baby now. Yeah, I don't know when it is. I don't know when it is either. But it's got to be at some point. Tell you what, it's not the first day when it's like two cells clinging together and they become four cells. Just get rid of those cells and that's a wrap. But you would even admit, or maybe it is.

Or maybe it is, yeah. Or maybe it is. I don't. I personally don't. I'm not a scientist. I'm not a obstetrician but if we had like a soul meter in the room and like you woke up one day and your wife is pregnant and it's like 48 days in honey honey look at the soul meter there's a new soul like whoa okay no turning back now now it's a new soul yeah before

then it was just like a nesting area like they they were ready it was a prepping area for a new soul you believe in that at 48 days you're at one day there's no soul yeah if you if you had a meter right if you had a way obviously we don't this is in a world with a robot president and a soul meter and this is all also in a world where would they prove in the existence of the soul? Which is just theory yeah, right? But if you could if you had a like a thing in the room with you sort of like when you have a pregnancy tester Mm-hmm like you check like look at this. It's registering. It's real. It's happening like a soul meter Yeah, like so you have a countdown okay? It says I'm pregnant we have

47 days or what pieces of shit shit yeah because once the soul comes in uh-huh yeah yeah then then we're murderers i guess something like that yeah for sure yeah but and there are people that believe it's day one which is like i can understand how you think that i don't i don't even not even i wouldn't even say i don't believe that i just don't know i just have no i don't i don't even not even i wouldn't even say i don't believe that i just don't know i just have no i don't have any feeling one way or the other if you interfere if you don't interfere with the process from day one and it goes all the way through term you have a human yeah so how can you make the argument that if you do interfere it's nothing yeah seems like you're stopping a potential human something's something's happening right but it's, it's nothing. Yeah. Seems like you're stopping a potential human. Something's happening.

But it's the foolishness of going like, I am absolutely anything. And just the reductionist idea of it being just a bundle of cells, too. That's sort of preposterous, too. No, it's a bunch of cells that will be a human being. So you can't just deny the potential i'm not saying that a bunch of cells i don't think it's any different that i mean i think if you can show me for sure that it's four cells i think it's a complete total non-issue it's when you get into three months you know two months in three months

in like whoa okay what is this yeah what is again? Yeah. What is this? Again, to you. Yeah. To me. That's your barometer. Yeah. But that's the thing I was saying is like there's no, you're not allowed to have a nuanced opinion anymore. You just have to be like, no, I am absolutely, you must believe all women.

Did you see that thing I posted the other day about, it was the Me Too backlash is gonna come no i didn't see that how's it gonna come what kind of backlash the backlash is the on the on campus thing the the basically like the obama administration and joe biden uh recommended these guidelines for title nine and uh and they so they recommended these guidelines for Title IX. So they recommended these guidelines for Title IX, basically protecting women on college campuses. But the problem is they throw out due process. Like literally, the idea is if you get accused, you're basically convicted. Guy gets accused, he's thrown out of school.

And it's like, well well that's not due process there were all these things that were like like i'd never thought about before like because i i want to believe all you know what i mean like i i want to believe that if a woman i don't believe women have much reason to lie about the shit see well that's not true i don't believe that at all because I believe there's a lot of women that have grudges and they're angry and they want to make things up about men and I know men where that's happened to before I know men who've been falsely accused of rape and the woman dropped it and told the police that she was just mad at him yeah she had a vendetta that happens it doesn't happen a lot right that's what I mean I

know I don't think it never happens I just think that it's a minor i think it's just i don't know if it's minor or not anthony kumia said something that's really he goes he goes calling all women liars is just as crazy as saying all women say the truth right yeah that's true you're gonna have a certain percentage of human beings that are deceptive which is why i say 97 of women are lying are liars. No, I think it's, I mean, I don't want to, I don't even want to speculate about what the stats are. The problem is if you're a person who didn't do anything to someone and then they're accusing you of doing something to them and then it ruins your life, that's devastating. And that happens. So I've been having this conversation. I posted it and I put on Twitter, Hey, if I'm wrong, if this is wrong, yell at me here.

Go ahead. And I was surprised by how few people yelled. No one really got mad because when you see what the recommendations were, people believe in due process and the rule of law. They should. And people know that mob mentalities are not good and they're not American. I mean, they're not the spirit of America. They're there.

They are pretty American actually, but like the, they're not the letter of America. Um, and it was kind of baffling that Obama and the administration, so what's happening is, so guys are getting kicked out of school. They're getting,

you know what these they're, they're're the colleges are following the guidelines and uh due process is thrown away guys get you know thrown out of school and then they sue the school and guess what a lot of them are winning yeah because it's unconstitutional what the school did. So it's this weird thing of it's such a fucking sticky situation because I was talking because after I posted a few female friends of mine texted or called me and one of them said that she was at NYU and was having sex with a guy. He tried to put in her ass. She was like, no. She said no. He said, can I? She said no.

And he did anyway. She just froze and was like stunned, frozen, silent. He finishes. No alcohol. No. And it just becomes he said she said and it's like what what should we do in a society about a situation like that and i truly don't know i truly am like i have no fucking idea well if she said no and he did it anyway, that's a real fucking problem. Yes, exactly. That's rape. Yeah.

That's rape. But what, but also then it just becomes what, it's a, he said, she said thing. There's no evidence that she said no. We need better lie detectors. You know what I mean? We need real lie detectors. I mean, that's really, in situations like this where it's one person's word against the other and the yeah the result's

critical you gotta i don't know if that's really possible though i mean i don't know of anything that exists or any technology that's on the pipeline no there isn't so a friend of mine jokingly said that that uh all guys and women need to wear body cams like cops yeah yeah like that's kind of where it is because they're, again, it is one of these like shit. I don't, because it might be,

you kind of think like, oh yeah, no, it's probably, it's always pretty cut and dredged. And then you hear a thing like that and you're like, you know what? I don't know what to,

but then no one's going to fuck you. Should that guy get, I'm going to be on camera. Right. Uh, the, Now we're into... Because I go, oh, guys shouldn't get kicked out of school. There should be due process. Of course, there should be due process.

Then I hear a story like that and I'm like, fuck, man, I don't know. Maybe that guy shouldn't be able to go to school. I don't know. I truly, I don't know. So he lied and he said that didn't happen? He didn't, she didn't press charges or anything. Oh, okay. Okay.

Which, by the way, is super common. So when you take into account rape, the number of rapes that get reported versus the number of rapes that don't get reported. It's like, it's a drop in the bucket. And when guys go, well, why don't girls report it? Dude, you don't like going to jury duty. And that's a drop in the bucket. And when guys go, well, why don't girls report it? Dude, you don't like going to jury duty. And that's a week. You think a girl wants to talk about her fucking vagina for a year and a half?

Not just that. The stigma of running around knowing that everybody knows you were raped. Like having that feeling where people are judging you or staring at you or talking about you for nothing that you did. No, nothing. Or judging you or staring at you or talking about you for nothing that you did. No, nothing. It's like literally as these things happen, because you read these, a lot of the times it feels like the choice for women is as it's happening, it's like, fuck, I have to make my life about this now.

My whole life has to be about this for at least a year and a half. Cops, lawyers, fucking court dates. Just like a nightmare. For one evening. A fucking nightmare. That you likely did nothing wrong. Right. And now it's like getting in a horrible car accident or something.

And again, I don't know what the solution is because as a comic my first and being contrarian i go like well what did you what did they do what did they do all the all the things and it's like no most of these things are uh wrong place at the wrong time with a piece of shit Yeah. Yeah. I mean, due process is significant, though. It's gigantic. I know. I know. You have to have it. I know. Look at what happened with the UVA case in Rolling Stone magazine. They printed this stupid fucking lie, this crazy story that really becomes a problem because there's real rape going on all the time on campuses. That's happening for real. I don't believe

that that girl wasn't raped. The UVA story? Yeah. I believe that she was raped. I don't think it was the 15, like the way, something happened. Are you sure? What do you mean? What do you think that? Because I think they proved that she wasn't even there

and that she was never in that fraternity. Oh, there was no Roger or any of that shit? No, the people were all fake. Then maybe he didn't read any follow-up. I think there's so much evidence pointing to the fact that it was all made up that there's very little possibility that something actually happened to her. I think they've completely dismissed that.

I think they think it was just a girl who just made some crazy shit up versus the mattress girl thing. The mattress girl thing the mattress girl one was a weird one because she definitely had sex with that guy and she definitely wanted to have sex with that guy because she was messaging him about sex and about you know i think she said something about bring condoms and you're gonna put it in my butt and yeah just a bunch of crazy shit like it was sex talk back and forth yeah and then she just decided this is an amazing way to be a martyr and to be a victim and to bring that fucking mattress everywhere, including at her commencement speech.

Yeah. You know, I mean, that that's a different sort of case. That kid is now suing. That kid is now suing that university. And I hope he wins. Yeah. Again, I hope he wins. And because I think due process is as important.

It's literally a tie for first between protecting women and protecting the Constitution. But yeah, I don't even, the thing that bothers me about even talking about UVA or Columbia is it makes the story about lying women right which is just fucking not that they're the outliers yes they're the outliers uh by an extreme because they're the outliers people are taking into consideration when you can't just completely ignore them in the equation right well that's the why you need due process yeah that is exactly why you need and you know we also have to stop thinking out of as like men and women. It's human beings Yeah, human beings involved in these situations and we have to treat them like equals

Do you know the story about Occidental Occidental College in LA? Which story boy and girl get drunk text each other back and forth. I'm coming over. Do you have condoms? Yeah, come on over. She comes over there. They have sex with each other And then her friends convince her that because she was drunk she could not consent and that it's rape you know remember that was a big thing for a while that you if you're not drunk you can't consent that was like for a year or two they tried to push that until they realized oh my god that makes everyone a rapist so they can't i mean i having said that i think that the part that alcohol plays in this shit is so fucking massive

and nobody ever brings it up. It's giant. Yeah. If alcohol was complicit in all the things that people did while drunk, the same way that prescription drugs- Yeah, they'd be out of business. Out of business. So this guy and this gal have some sex and it's consensual, 100%.

But after the fact, her friends tell her her you couldn't consent because you were drunk. So even though he was drunk, too. So, you know, people get told. Authorities get involved. He gets kicked out of school. She does not. They don't call it rape. They don't press charges.

He didn't do anything actually wrong, you know, in terms of the letter of the law, since they're both intoxicated and willing and consensual. But they kick him out of college. And so he's like, well, what the fuck, man? She's drunk, too. So I got raped as well. Do you understand that? It can't just be the man that is doing the raping if you're both intoxicated. How the fuck am I supposed to be able to consent?

So the idea is that this is as much of a male versus female thing. I had a conversation with a female friend of mine recently, and one of the conclusions was men don't see women as humans. Whoa. Meaning they're like... Less. Yes, it's other. It's other. It's like, I'm not saying you're not a human, but you're not a man.

You know what I mean? There's something of like, the way men treat women is not equal. It's other. It's like, you're in this other category. Well, they don't understand them that much cause they're not one of them. Yep. And if they don't have a good relationship with their mother, it's even worse.

Especially if they were raised by their dad alone. Those guys are the sketchiest guys of all. Yeah. I'm generalizing. I can't even think of one guy like that, but yeah. Meaning I don't think I know any guys like that, but yeah.

I know a guy like that. And sometimes even guys that were only raised by their mom are sketchy if their mom hates women. But the whole thing is, I mean, look, it's just real hard when you start doing this men and women thing, right? Because you're prone to generalizations. There's no getting away from it. But men want sex from women. So they're pursuing women. But men want sex from women, so they're pursuing women.

And do you know any men that you're friends with that you see over time that become more and more bitter towards women because they begin rejected over and over? And they associate women with bad feelings. Yes. They associate women with negativity. I think men look at women like they're trying to score on a team. Yeah. Dude, it's first base, second base, third base. It's literally built into the language of how we... It is a thing that guys conquer.

So it ends up being... I likened it in the past to Saudi Arabia. We're like fucking towel heads. Because they won't give us the fucking oil. Like, no, it's there. They don't like you. They don't want to give you like, they don't, they, but that doesn't mean that they're shitty any more than it means you're shitty.

If you don't want this fucking kombucha, like you just don't, your body doesn't want it. It doesn't mean that her body doesn't want you like there's but it makes guys it hurts their feelings and it makes them crazy and it also deals with these evolutionary mechanisms that are designed to make sure that we breed you know it becomes like a significant issue for you want to figure out how do i get this gal to like me to the point where she wants to have sex with me oh i got to buy the right cars i gotta wear the right watch i gotta do this and do that and say the right things and be a gentleman and hold open doors and all these things that we do like well why do men hold open doors to be a gentleman no to to show that they're a preferential mate that's what they're

doing they're trying to con you correct and to take in that dick yes that it's ghost speaks to your bit about invention the thing that that your invention thing now is that the reason the thing of like why women haven't invented shit yeah it's because they don't have to they don't fucking have to it's also the way their mind works you know the hunter-gatherer mindset it's very different with the females in the tribe versus the males and we're stealing still dealing with the echoes of all that by the way for people that are uh shallow, we're talking about misogyny right now. Just so you know. Yeah.

We're talking, in theory, about misogyny. These are not views that either of us hold. Yeah. But- In fact, the opposite. I mean, and I have all daughters, you know? I'm used to being around little girls. I know about women more now. i understand them than i ever did

and how would you how would you would how different would your behavior have been 20 years ago if you had what you the wisdom you have now it would be way different it would be way different i just would maybe my behavior i never did anything horrible. Like my record is clean. Yeah. No, I'm not talking about assault. Yeah. But what I am what I am more aware of now is the inner workings of like a female from child to adulthood. I understand that they're just so that there's a different evolutionary path for their sex, for their gender.

There's a whole thing going on that they want to protect the nest. They want to find a man. There's a lot of guys that look at a girl who wants a successful guy. Like, oh, she's fucking shallow. She just wants a bunch of shit. She wants someone to pay for everything? There is a evolutionary path where the woman is looking for a man who shows that he is capable of taking care of things while she is held up being pregnant and taking care of the young. It is a natural instinct. It is undeniable. And there are some women that

are super strong and super motivated and they don't have that instinct. Their instinct is to just have a kid, give it to a nanny, get back to work as quick as possible. And you know what? But I'll tell you what, I bet their husband's tall. You know what I mean? There's still those things of like the evolutionary shit that you can't get rid of. Your body wants to fuck a tall guy. Yeah.

For the same, for protection, all that shit. For all that shit. Money, height, strength. Provisions. Yeah. And the ability to overcome significant situations. For all that shit. For all that shit. Money, height, strength. Provisions. Yeah, yeah. And the ability to overcome significant situations. Like whenever there's a guy that falls apart under stress is one of the most unattractive things to women ever. Oh yeah, there was a study where like, I think Whitney and I have talked about where guys, women don't like when guys cry in front of them.

They say they want an emotional guy. What they mean is I want you to listen to my emotions. Yeah. I don't want you to be emotional. I need you to be a fucking Marine. Yeah. And if you're going to be emotional and cry about things, it better be like a brave display of emotion. Yes.

One of your fallen brothers. Yeah. Yeah. Or somebody's, you know, like a baseball player's retiring. and brothers. Yeah. Somebody's, you know, like a baseball player's retiring. Some physical thing about the passage of time in brotherhood.

That's it. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Maybe your daughter's birthday party and you're so happy. Yeah. Maybe you're allowed to cry. That's the portfolio. Yeah.

But the ability to respond to pressures, a giant one, the ability to provide is a giant one. Physical features, like having strong features, having strong genetics. The woman has to know, like genetically, has to feel like she's being protected. And then there's some women that don't like that at all. There's some women that like bitch men. And we know those women. And they're're the really domineering powerful women and they have these men that are like quiet and they're sort of submissive. Yeah, I mean, that's that's okay, too. But these, these patterns that exist, they exist because for the longest time, I mean, look, it's a weird situation where a woman has to be pregnant for nine months. That's a long time. Imagine picking a man. Imagine if you're a man and you're picking a woman and you have to decide when you're meeting this woman, is this chick going to be able to keep it together with me while I'm held up,

literally held up for a year, like a whole year. For one year, I'm going to be stuck in this situation. And then from then, the next 18 years, I'm going to be stuck in this situation and then from then the next 18 years I'm going to be responsible for the infant that comes out of this union. That's so different than our thought process. It's so different. The consequences are so much different. Men only think about, to me, men want sex. They don't think about, they literally, and then it's just black and then it's just black sure

It's like sex and then just like black into the distance infinite blackness whereas women do think which is why it's a it's a More intricate decision having sex with somebody yeah, because it is like the long-term shit Where's we just like we just want I didn't even what we need a baby comes out of this I mean, that's all I'm looking for since when just looking to come yeah yeah some women are looking for sex too but they also a good percentage of them at least are looking to be a mom and it's just something that they want it's a lot of there's a reason why there's seven billion people it's not because being a mom is so completely unattractive they want to do it we i want to talk about some of the stuff uh with the sexual harassment stuff is the stuff that

people are not is like the alcohol thing right like i've never thought drinking around your co-workers was smart no like literally i'm like why the fuck would you want I wrap parties? I try to get out of as soon as possible Yeah, I'll say for like a beer and then and I don't even understand the why a company would Have it why would like I mean I guess it's good for morale. Yeah, they're not thinking in terms of the you know Potential hazards. Yeah, just thinking I'd fun, fun way for everybody to cut loose. A buddy of mine is a producer of a show and he, and he basically a couple of weeks ago was like, we need to have rules for engagement.

So he's made it so like there are going to be no meetings where there's only two people. Wow. Shit like where it's like, no, no, no, no. What about you and a dude? I think there cannot be... I think two dudes can meet. What about Kevin Spacey? Yeah, again.

Just trying to come. No, I know. He's definitely not trying to make babies. Which is why he was like, three people. He's the perfect example. Because he's just trying to come. No, a girl DMed me the other day talking about how Kevin Spacey harassed her. Really?

Yep. Yes. He's trying to fuck women too? Yep. He just wanted to. He liked the power. He liked the action. It seems like.

Wow. That's interesting. Yeah. Did you ever see his brother? No. Oh, man. It's a trip. His brother dresses like a combination of Ringo Starr and Elton John and just is a completely

out there guy and just talks about the horrors of Kevin growing up with his insanely abusive dad. And it was Kevin's dad too? Yeah. Yeah. Just horrible shit. I've never even heard of the guy. Rape and just awful things just

awful awful abuse well yeah that was like this is his brother wow yeah his brother dresses like that all the time like a rod stewart his brother's ron wood my goodness yeah wow yeah that's his brother and it's just that they just got fucking abused when they were children just fucking abused some monster created them yeah that's what uh what's his name morgan spurlock yesterday talking about did you see his thing i heard about it i heard about this morning you should read it because it's like pretty like he he owns to stuff, which I get that impulse. Because I don't have any big stains on my record, but I'm like. Well, he had a contemptible.

He had someone accuse him of rape in college. Yes. And he also settled with the girl he worked with. Because he called her hot pants. Sex pants or hot pants. That's it? In front of everybody. Yeah. And then, but he was like, I basically would just, he did it like, sex pants.

Oh. Like in front of everyone. Oh. And so when she was quitting, she basically said like, I'm going to tell people. Right. You call me sex pants. Yeah. Yeah, you can't do that.

But in the confession, everybody sort of puts their excuse in the confession, or a lot of people do. Right. It's like the, it's kind of like the I have daughters thing. Right, right. As a father of daughters. Yes. Oh. Yeah. Well, in that

case. Well, now I understand. But he put in that he was abused and that he's an alcoholic. Right. And that was like, I don't know, man. Maybe that's a different statement. Right. It's no one will just go like, I fucked up. People hate admitting that they were wrong. Like just go like, I'm a hundred.

Even in these apologies goes, for the people i may have damn it there's no may right you did it it happened right like the the there's no i don't know if they do it for legal reasons but a lot of the time it's like i for any anguish i may have caused what do you that puts it on them right Right. Where it's like, no, you did it. Depending on what the action is, right? So like if he's talking about the rape in college, you know, you read the story, the way he wrote it, it's like, okay, you kind of did it when she said don't do it. That's what it seems like.

And then she started crying. I don't, the way he told it yeah it's not not very specific it's like it again this is like

goes to that rules the rules I've been doing this joke on stage which is I have a nightclub routine that I do Joe whoa

you should gotta come see it do you 10-15 tonight I would love for you to come in fact would you like to introduce me? Oh my god. Sex is the most

consequential thing we can do with our bodies, yet we can't talk about it beforehand. So we just have to go like, meh. Are you thinking what I'm thinking if I'm wrong and going to jail? Sweet. It's this huge thing, but we can't talk about it. But it wasn't a huge thing in terms of

the communication aspect of it until recently. but we can't talk about it. But it wasn't a huge thing in terms of like the communication aspect of it until recently. I mean in the 1970s and 1980s people did a lot of talking before they fucked? No, but I also think that there were women didn't have as many rights.

I think now that women are like, wait a minute. But women want sex too, right? So if a man and a woman are looking at each other and they start making out, next thing you know, they're grabbing dicks. Yes. I'm of the mind, though, that where women, it's in my understanding of women's nature that they want mystery and they want spontaneity as part of the package of sex. That's what literally turns them on. Mystery. Mystery.

Mystery. Like a mask? Like a cape? You got one? If you got one. I should get a cape. Remember Attell's old joke? That women love mystery, which is why whenever my girlfriend leaves the room, I take a shit

in one of her shoes. Attell literally has a great one-liner for every occasion. For everything. He's so funny. literally has a great one-liner for every occasion everything he's so funny uh but uh the uh so it's built in to want mystery so you can't you we literally can't talk about it beforehand you ever try to talk you ever go you can't say hey i'd like to go have sex now you have to go like let's go look at my stamps or whatever that you know what i mean whatever euphemistic thing hey come up and look at my mattress my uh i got an egg cart and whatever you're fucking whatever your your ruse to get her up there because you can't say you want to have

sex because it's like about shame part of it's a lot of it's the mystery thing but then there's also like women can't openly go like yes i would like that also yeah well after you date him for a while you can yes agreed yeah once you've done it a couple of times yeah i think it's longer fun i do this yes i think it takes longer than than a few times really to get there maybe that's you bro maybe that's me that's on me bro i'm we i've always been weak bro you know me i ain't nothing but a bitch bro i wonder man i wonder how we're gonna get past this culturally i don't and that's I'm weak. I've always been weak, bro. You know me. I ain't nothing but a bitch, bro. I wonder, man. I wonder how we're going to get past this culturally. I don't.

And that's so, so what I've been talking to people about is like, so there needs to be rules of engagement. Right. And like, I think guys would be fine with scheduling it. The thing about the consent, because there was a thing in that article about that thing that they used to have at Antioch College 20 years ago where it was like, I want to touch your breasts now.

I would like to... I know. I know. But I believe guys would be fine with that. I really do. Because I think guys are like, wait, I'm going to get to touch a boob at 1206? Great. Yeah, but the guys are like, wait, I'm going to get to touch boob at 12.06?

Great. Yeah, but the whole, like, can I touch your breast now? Yes. Can I take your pants off? Not yet. Okay. And then you go back to making out. Can I take your pants off now?

Okay. Yeah. You ever see that video? Yeah. Yeah, it's preposterous. Yes, but what other answer is there? This poor guy. This poor guy in the video. They make it like the lowest test guy available

who just like this weird beta male. The whole thing is just so strange. I know. What are you trying to do? But just if you look at this, you know, scientifically, what's the answer? You got to get to know people better before you fuck them. That's a big one. Like the courtship like period should be longer i agree i mean people

get horny i've been implemented that in my own life where i'm like i don't because i don't want because i know once i sleep with somebody i'll feel guilty and if i don't want to see him again and they'll be mad yeah that's so i just try to part i just try to put it off for as long as I possibly can and then decide do I even want cuz a lot of times I've had like friends and I've talked about where you sleep with somebody cuz you can't think of an excuse not to you know you're like ah I did yeah I guess I'm right here place you don't even you know you don't want to see him again. Oh, that's the worst.

You know you don't want to see him again, but they're like going for it. You're like, okay, I guess. The problem is once you're engaged, once you're locked and loaded, and you're there, and you're like, probably take this to the end. Yeah. I'd be a fool. I'd be a fool not to. Disrespectful.

Stare a gift horse in the mouth. What the fuck does that even mean? A gift horse? Is it like looking at a horse's teeth? Is that the idea behind that? Like to make sure it's not too old? Yeah. What a weird expression.

Stare a gift horse in the mouth. Yes. Like how is that one still around? Who the fuck is looking at horses? Yeah, well, there's a lot of sayings from horse types. Yeah. That's a big one. Yeah, but so there's a lot of sayings from horse types. Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah, but so there is the thing of like, just wait.

But again, that's where male nature comes in. Right. Male nature doesn't like waiting. No. Male nature does not like waiting. Male nature does not like patience. Male nature also is... Testosterone itself begets risky behavior.

Oh, yeah. And a lot of it, some of it ends up in crime. Some of it ends up in fucking, you know, electricity. Or the Wright brothers. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like just harnessing it for the right thing. Yeah.

You know, it's like the, because the male character is, it is a lot of it is, some of the shit is toxic. Well, testosterone in a lot of ways is power. And with power comes responsibility. I mean, but I say that. I don't mean it's power like that estrogen isn't power. I mean, there's fuel to testosterone the the when you have testosterone what it's doing is it's providing you a certain amount of ambition a certain amount of desire a certain amount of lust and that sort of that's

the mechanism that a lot of men use to get things going in their life and some guys don't you know i know a lot of men who are like aggressive testosterone males who are just chasing pussy and not doing anything with their life. And they've become addicted to that, and it's become a major distraction, and usually their career suffers. Yeah. Yeah. Usually those guys, their career is in a shitter.

I think we may be thinking of the same person. Probably. We know a lot of guys like that. Yeah. You know? I was talking to my friend Michelle Wolf, who's got an HBO special that's really good. Is that the nice ladies? Yeah.

I heard that's really good. Yeah. And she was, we talk about this shit constantly, and I was like, men power right men want to dominate like that's our thing like I'm gonna expand the I get it You know it's like that's capitalism. That's that's Empire that's everything just expand expand expand power power power power And it's like men want it's the Scarface thing first you get the money then you get power then you get the women And I was like what do do women want power and she's like men want, it's the Scarface thing. First you get the money, then you get power, then you get the women. And I was like, what do, do women want power?

And she's like, no, they don't really, women want control. If that makes sense. Like they don't want empire. They want you to, they want to be able to depend on you. Right. For, I think fear is fine. Depending on you is, again, we're going back to those natural instincts. Yeah.

That a mother needs the father to be the one who's going to watch over her and provide. Yeah. And that sounds sexist, right? People don't like that. Oh, the woman doesn't need a man to provide anymore. I understand that. You're right. You don't.

For the most part. I'm not saying that women aren't equal to men in terms of their ability to do things. But what I am saying is there are certain inherent instincts that we have that are left over, you know, and there's also like a lot of weird shit, right? Like with this domination and submission, the submissive thing that men and women have, there's also rape fantasies. There's also weird S&M shit. There's a lot of weird stuff that people have. Yes, that's just built into the

operating system. Right, and your operating system is probably going to be different than Jamie's and different than mine and there's massive variables and to try to find them. I used to date a girl and she used to want me to just choke her all the time. She would grab my hand and put it on her neck. I would think more girls

because of your size would want that i whenever i see a girl like you never see like a tiny girl with like just a monster of a dude yeah and i always want to say to the women like oh you like getting fucking railed huh you don't like you fucking like to get you like to almost get murdered every time huh that's your thing some girls like that yeah i would but yeah like there's a ton of girls that like that yeah and again and and i think we've talked about this before it's because girls never really saw porn before 1998 99 so now they're seeing the full like all the options And they're going oh yeah choking's fun Oh that's what I want I want someone to spit in my mouth

Grab my fucking hair Because otherwise they learn about that stuff while they're doing it Like a guy spanks him and they're like Yeah spank me again Wait remember when you spanked me Well I want you to spank me because I want you to spank me I don't want you to spank me because you want to spank me. Because you want to spank me.

Yes. This isn't, and it's like, okay, wait. Big difference. What? Okay. I did meet a girl once who told me she wanted me to rape her.

And I said, okay. But if you want me to rape you, then it's not raping you. And she goes, and she was like, she was like halfway joking around. She was like halfway joking around, but she had some weird shit.

Like she wanted me to grab the back of her head and force it on my dick. Like she liked that. She got off on that. And I go, yeah, but the only way that I can do that is if I know that you want me to do that. Like I can't rape you. I can do it, but it's not, I'm not like, that's whenever girls want rough shit, I'm like, yeah, I can, I like, I can't rape you. I can do it, but it's not, I'm not, like, that's, whenever girls want rough shit, I'm like, yeah, I can, I, like, I can get there. Right, but

here's the thing, like, the saying you want someone to rape, the problem with the rape thing is, like, if we just go through this, are you gonna fight back? Are you gonna say no? Yeah. If I keep going, that's still rape. Yeah. Like, even though you said you wanted me to rape you, if you say no and keep going, and ultimately it just wound up staying the way it was

like we never went into fully into the rape fantasy because I was like I was super perturbed by it I was like this could go terrible yeah you can't just yeah also I don't want ever to get sexually aroused by that I don't want to be connected yeah because I think that like I stayed't want to be connected with that. Yeah. Because I think that, like, I stayed a girl and she used to like to rub her feet on my deck and for a while I had like this foot fetish thing going on. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like I had it for years. But she

started it. Yeah. Well, she was into it. Yeah. She would like suck on my toes and shit. She was a freak. But that thing became like a sexually arousing thing to me. I'd look at girls' feet and I would get excited on them for years Yeah, if you had a girl who wanted you to smack her around Yeah, you know and I have a friend who likes that like he's into that and yeah dates girls that are into that and he's

Like you know like probably on their own pictures their own website They're on pictures of like bruises that he left on them. I'm like, Jesus Christ, dude. He's like, yeah, if it goes ugly, it's going to go real ugly for me. Yeah. Because it's consensual, but what proof does he have that this is consensual? No, yes. Yeah, I don't want to get sexually attracted to that.

I don't want that to be like the foot fetish thing where you become that. That's your thing. I'm really into smacking girls around and holding them down. Yeah. Yeah. Because then you got to, like, that's what you need. Then you'd have to go to Craigslist. You'd have to, like, go full on.

Yeah, you have to. You have to, like, say, look, this is what I'm looking for very specifically. Is this cool with you? I come to you with a heavy heart. Dear Craigslist. heavy heart dear craig but then the problem with that is like you know how do you know that the woman wants that every time you know there's gonna be time i know that's which is what i'm saying about like if i'm guessed wrong i'm gonna do which is where you need that's where consent comes in yeah that's where like consent and again because women are physically weaker in general

than men in in when sex it has to be them pitching it yes in a way like because otherwise especially if it's physical yeah a buddy of mine who's huge physically huge a girl said uh choke me and he was like, I'll fucking. So he just went like, what is it? She wanted an elbow choke. She, he,

she wanted like a fucking real, like really. And he was like, I'll kill you. And so he literally was so scared that he just kind of like put his forearm up. It's just, um, call her ex-boyfriend as soon as he was done.

It's also crazy how fine get your choke game. Yeah. It's also crazy how the without me. Yeah. Like the how hard they want you to choke. Yeah. Yeah. Like where it's like, oh, you really want.

I don't know. I don't want to. It's literally just feels like hang me off the roof. Hey, hang me. hang me off the roof. Hey, hang me off the roof. I wonder what that is, too. Why does that feel good? Well, it speaks to evolution. Consensual sex just started about 3,000 years ago.

If that. Yeah. I'm being generous. Yeah, 3,000 years ago was probably an option. Yeah. You could ask I don't know yeah

just out of respect to your brothers yeah I mean shit like it's it's just it's a part of like animals

yeah consensual sex is like that thing of like the universe is this old and earth is life on earth is that old yeah it's a hair

non-consensual sex is this long and consensual sex is a fucking tiny sliver i think the good about all of this stuff all this me too stuff and is that it's going to force human beings to reevaluate their behavior and that is what moves evolution culturally cultural evolution is moving yeah and also I'm fucking as a guy who roots for the underdog fucking and justice fucking I'm fucking so happy for women yeah so happy for women I think we need in I think we need laws like unbelievably brutal laws when it comes to pills that people drop and drinks when it comes to like the Cosby thing, I heard another story the other night about that.

And I just, that freaks me out. That's the one that freaks me out, I think, the most because I feel like that's like straight sociopath shit. Yeah. You want this from some person and you just feel free to drop something in their drink and sit back and wait and watch and watch it kick in. I had a girl accuse me of doing that to her whoa terrifying in vegas um

a height of chapelle show like literally to the almost to the week and uh maybe a month after the fear factor sketch joe thanks again and uh and uh so meet a girl in vegas long story short we mutual friends we meet for a drink at a bar on at the hard rock cafe her hard rock hotel and uh i get there she's drinking a mixed drink and um and uh a buddy of mine our mutual friend is like hey Hey, I'm having a party in my room. You guys want to come? And, um, and we're like, yeah, cool. We'll come up.

We have a beer, me and her. And then we go up to my buddy's room, uh, on our way to my buddy's room. Uh, she is like, I don't, we're walking across the casino. She's like, I don't feel good. Like, I don't feel like a hundred percent. And, uh, and I was like, why don't, okay. I was like, sit down, like sit down at like a hundred percent and uh and I was like why don't okay I was like sit down like sit down at like a slot machine and uh and I was like I'll go get us drinks and she's like will you get me a beer I was like no I'll get you a water like I'm not fucking so I come back with

two waters and she's like yeah I just feel like way more fucked up than I should be. Like, I feel like, I feel like somebody put something in my drink and I was like, not thinking the double entendre of this. I go, do you want to go back to your room? And she looks at me and goes, I think you put something in my drink and runs. And I chased her for like 10 feet. And I was like, I can't chase a girl. Like I was like, I can't chase a girl. Like, I can't chase this girl. So...

How well did you know her? Not well at all. I met her on a Tuesday and this was a Friday. Oh my God. So for three hours, I was like, maybe I'm going to jail. Like, I didn't do anything, but I couldn't prove I didn't do anything. Almost it would be a move at that point to call the police and say, someone just accused me of putting something in their drink.

I absolutely didn't. Could you please do a toxicology exam on her? She might just be drunk and crazy. Yeah. Looking back, thinking back now, I realize it was at a casino, so there's cameras everywhere. Right. But could the cameras have recorded your- Yeah, could the cameras have picked up me fucking dropping a-

Oh, right. Like, maybe they weren't high resolution enough. What year? 2004. They probably were. Well, they're there to, like, prevent stealing, right? 2004. They probably were. Well, they're there to, like, prevent stealing, right? Yeah. And then gambling tricks.

So they must be able to see, like, your hands. They can zoom in, I think. But how, you know. How much? Whenever you see it, it's all kind of, like, kind of pixelated. But after three hours, she finally, like, called me and was like, hey, I know. Because I called her. I was like, hey, just saying, I didn't poison you.

Right. And I don't think anyone would believe I poisoned you. I have no reason to poison you. Whatever. Well, you wouldn't do it anyway. Right. It's like, it's not you. Of course.

You didn't do it because you wouldn't do it. Of course. But I would have said the same thing about Bill Cosby. Would you have? Oh, did I ever tell you this story about Bill Cosby? No. So I dated a girl in like 05, 06, 07 in New York. Beautiful girl, mixed race, and like cool, whatever, great.

And she used to talk about, some bill cosby came up one time she's like oh mr cosby what a sweet man and i was like what what what are you what are you huh she's like oh yeah one time i was on the street crying and uh mr cosby walked up and introduced himself. I was like, why are you crying? And, you know, and we struck up a friendship. And I was like, he was trying to fuck you. Just so you know. I was like, just so you know, he was trying to fuck you. She's like, no, he was not trying to fuck me. And like, what are you talking about?

Like, no, he wasn't trying to fuck you. Again, like, I'm an animal for suggesting it. Like, you're so boorish. Why would you possibly think? Right. And it's like, because I fucking met the guy, and he's not a good dude. And so she defended him. He used to take me to plays, just all this shit.

I'm like, okay. He just had a long game. Yeah, man. And, uh, so then all this Cosby shit comes up and I text her,

I go, so what do you think? What do you think you're a boy? And she goes, uh, she said something like, I think, uh,

like he absolutely did it. And I think his wife was in on it, which again, I don't know what you meant by that. But so then we're texting back and forth. She goes, you know, one time I was supposed to meet him in Philadelphia and he told me what to wear and how to wear my hair. Oh, Jesus Christ. And she goes, and thankfully I got sick. She was going to do it? She was going to wear what he wanted?

Yeah. Wow, that was the time. Yeah. He built it up. Yeah, and he was going to take her to the ultimate musical. And thankfully, she got sick and didn't go. And I was like, and the whole time, it's like, yeah, that's the thing that one of the things with some of these stories is like why would bill cosby want to be friends with some lady do you know what i mean like what just because you're great looking yeah well i think it's entirely possible that a guy could

be friends with a beautiful woman i don't even though he wants to fuck her, just keep it together and just be friends with her and, you know, find some interesting muse qualities. I don't think it's impossible, but I do think it's not very likely in my experience with humanity. Right. No, it's true. And also, why would a guy torture himself like that? It's like when a guy has a hot nanny. Dummy.

Ugly nanny. Yeah. Fucking don't. Why do that to yourself? The hot nanny yeah fucking don't why do that to yourself the hot nanny always winds up being a problem oh

fucking every time because the hot nanny knows she's hot too yeah yeah does she though Joe the hot nanny no she just

sweats I wear sweats all day let me pick that up for you what are you talking about you're such a good dad yeah yeah like just don't hire

a hot nanny yeah I would give that advice as well I wouldn't hire a hot nanny yeah i would i would give that advice as well i wouldn't hire a hot assistant that's good advice as well the fun i don't know i've ever told you this story so uh so my i hired an assistant for the sexy for the second season of chapelle show right and um and uh interviewed a bunch of people. And this girl came in super just like sharp. Just like I could tell she was sharp. But she also happened to be good looking.

And so I hire her. And Chappelle sees her and goes, word. She was the most qualified. And I was like, yeah. She was the most qualified. Now, I was like, yeah. She was the most qualified now i was like yeah she was the most qualified believe me now uh and i was proven right because she has since gone on to produce ghostbusters and the heat and all these movies and she just happens to be good luck but it was

one of these things i was like i fucking knew it i fucking told you she was qualified she's just good what were you talking about with that girl you'd met cosby and he wasn't a nice guy oh i met cosby at uh arsenio one time because i'm a million years old um i went to our i met a woman named joy dolce who used to be in the talent department at Arsenio and she was friends with Dave because Dave did Arsenio whatever whatever so she would like just go hey come by the show today this is like in when Arsenio was on the original like in 94

so I went by one day and Cosby was the guest and he like and he just like kind of fucking berated me about like he was talking about the history of slavery and he's like and then the dutch man came and he pointed at me and i was like i'm not dutch and he just like didn't back down i was like okay but it was just that he was just a really condescending dude and i was 19 so you know he had a right to be

condescending but not really but i'll whatever like i bill cosby is a brilliant fucking guy and uh but i just he's just not uh uh i wouldn't can't i i mean knowing what I know now he's a real piece of garbage but but my interaction with him at that time was not like wasn't pleasant and just seeing how he talked to people it's just like yeah this guy's not a good dude well he definitely has an elitist sort of a thing going on

and I think that elitist sort of a thing is one of the ways that he was able to separate himself from his victims that he's better than them he would behave in these weird ways when he'd do these shows i've talked about it before but um i talked to uh these people that worked with him in a casino and he would make the entire staff sit down and watch him eat yeah so all the people that worked in the theater all the people that worked the aisles they would have to come in the room and stand there while he ate yeah then he had he had a security guard

tuck him into bed at night so he climbs into bed and the security guard tucks him in and then shuts the lights out and shuts the door something similar to that yeah uh yeah so he had this thing like i am he's superior yeah i'm superior i'm bill cosby i'm dr cosby yeah call me doctor yeah i mean the dr cosby thing used to drive me fucking crazy yeah chuck d from public enemy broke my fucking heart because on twitter he was talking about like at when the accusation started you know this is all a smear campaign against dr cosby and i'm like come on man he's not a doctor yeah he's not a real doctor don't say that and they took that doctor away too now yeah uh yeah i mean i get dave talked about in his last special that thing like the he rapes but he saves thing um bill cosby's an important dude to black american culture and history he's well just culture he's in yeah but to to culture yes

but he's the first black dude to win an amy he's the first black dude to do a lot of shit right and did did it the right way i mean he, he had an animated show, too, that people forgot about, Fat Albert. That was a huge hit. Dang. And black people didn't forget about that shit. Yeah. Well, it's hard to find now. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. And, like, just a huge impact. And it was a real loss for black people. Like, so a guy like Chuck D., who was eminently respectable, is like, there's a mourning period. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you gotta be careful when you pull the trigger on calling it a smear campaign oh i totally agree and it's entirely possible that your hero is a piece of shit and yeah and people can have both qualities they can be amazing at something and very important but also be terrible

yeah i have a i don't even know if i believe it, but I had the thought that Cosby, if the kink came before the talent, meaning I know I like poisoning people. Right. How do I put myself in a position to be able to plausibly poison women? I've got to write something. Oh, gosh. Do you know what I mean? I believe subconsciously that's how people work. I honestly believe that there's like,

in the unconscious, that you go, I have this thing, because that's not a thing that you just develop, I don't think. I think that, and that's also not even a power, that's not even a power thing.

That's some other shit. It is power, but it's like sociopathy. It's not just like, it's not even a power thing that's some other shit it is power but it's like sociopathy it's not just like i it's not like harvey weinstein is like uh to me is like the casting couch run amok you know what i mean like i want come on fuck me right like come on you're a hot actress i i got power like i thought that's how it works. Yeah. Like, I thought that's kind of the way the game was played. With Cosby, I mean, having said that, a lot of Harvey's shit was just straight rape. Yeah. But the fact that they were all actresses,

I don't think it's like a coincidence. But with Cosby, it's like, that probably existed when he was 15. I don't know. I think it's entirely. I've been talking about this as well, that I think that there was a time when that was normal. I think it was a time where slipping a Mickey into someone's drink was something that a lot of men did. Yeah.

I think it was. We looked at things in a different way, just like we look at hitting women in a different way. Like you go watch those old movies. Women got smacked all the time. It was normal. Yeah. The, the leading man,

like Steve McQueen would smack the shit out of women. Yeah. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Yeah. Try slapping a woman now in a movie. Try it.

And be, be the hero. Yeah. I mean, it's again, what we're talking about. Massive cultural evolution. Yeah. And they're happening right before our eyes.

And it also was that thing of like, oh, women aren't people. Right. Eh. Eh, there was some else. It's a woman. Do you know what the real term for a faggot is? What do you mean? Like the etymology?

The real origin? Yeah. Yeah, what? It's a bundle of sticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Well, a woman was thought to be a bundle of sticks that was used for a woman she's burdensome like a bundle of sticks yeah because it's difficult to carry around so a faggot

as a man became a man who's like a woman yeah who's burdensome like a bundle of sticks it was never anything about what is this here here it goes the archaic yeah take a take a picture we don't have to unit of volume yeah so this uh bundle of sticks thing was like how men thought of women like oh carry this bitch around jesus christ you know bundle of sticks is annoying to carry around i got a question for you what do you make of with now that we've got louis it's cosby i don't think they're even in the same category no just for my own for just for sake of argument prior beat his wife coke addict etc etc um do you think that there is a correlation between comedic excellence and degenerate behavior? Yes. So do I.

I said that to the crowd the other night. I go, by the way, the ability, jerking off on your stomach and writing amazing jokes are roommates. Like, it's like, I can't, it's like, hey, we need you guys to think irrationally about everything. Yeah. How about Kinison? He's another one. Yeah.

Hicks. Yes. Another one. Well, Hicks wasn't. Was Hicks a dirtbag? Hicks was deviant. He was into, like, addicted to pornography. Oh, I'm not, yeah.

I mean, like. Dirtbag. Like, not malevolent. Yeah, malevolent. I mean, I feel like. H not malevolent yeah malevolent I mean I feel like Hicks is probably more conscious yeah didn't it do anything to women but you know like friends who worked with them would say like hey we're going out you want to come out no I'm gonna go back and jerk off like yeah just he was just into watching porn and beating off all the time you know it's funny I was

talking about because yeah we both know Louie since you've known him since 1989 probably i don't i never knew but are you around him i i would see him like once a year twice a year somewhere and say hi um i know you way better than i know him yeah uh the so i remember when i moved to new york in 91 and was in the comedy club scene in 92 93 94 in new y New York. I couldn't believe the amount of jerking off that was going on. I just remember going like, why is everyone constantly talking about, like, what the fuck is, I remember like going to Louis' apartment

to shoot movies, like his shorts that he used to make, I would like PA on them. And it always smelled gross. Like Jay Moore was constantly, Jay Moore, me and I were roommates for a bit. He jerked off on one of my socks. Like, just like, what are you, like, why is everyone jerking off all the time? Just like, what is the, what the fuck is happening?

That's rape. Yeah. No, you know what's funny is I was wondering Today? Yeah I was thinking about the J thing Again because I'm of the mind that like Again Louis was more gross than

Than malicious And criminal I was gross What he did I think was gross It was gross if he did it to a man. It takes on more ominous tones when he's doing it to women. Completely agree. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not... But it's not a crime, right? No, no, no. I don't think so. I think it's just sad. It's nothing like Cosby. It's just pathetic. It's weird.

And, you know, I had some conversations with Eliza Schlesinger, and she was saying that men would say things to her when she first started out because she wasn't very good. You know, she just started out. Yeah. And these guys were, like, established guys, and they would treat her as if, like, you're below me, and you're always going to be below me,

and I can get away with saying whatever I want to you because you're less than me. Yeah. And she goes, and I kind of feel like that's probably why he did that to those girls. Like he was above them. They were below him. And it was not just, hey, I want to jerk off in front of you. It's like, you have to watch me jerk off because I'm above you. You know, what's the thing you said earlier was relevant, which is getting hard.

Right. From that. How can you? Yeah. That's the thing that's earlier was relevant, which is getting hard from that. How can you? Yeah, that's the thing that's like, but then it's also like you don't pick your kinks and all that shit. It just falls on you. You don't pick that. That's even a direct correlation. Most kinks are just like, I don't know. I don't fucking like being hung off the roof or whatever. You know what I mean?

like being hung off the roof or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, hang on. But yeah, that's the thing of like the getting hard thing. But also, fuck, the whole thing. It is sad. It's fucked up. But I actually think he'll be in a year and a half. He'll be back.

You think so? Stronger than ever. Yeah. Because now he's got something to talk about. Yeah. It's going to be a lot of dudes at the show. It's going to be 90% dudes. But I've asked the crowd.

I've asked probably five or six different crowds. If Louis was doing the show after this, would you go? And 70% of the people applaud. Yeah. They would want to see what the fuck he has to say. Yeah. Yes. I think he should go on stage. The first words out of his mouth should be well I asked I

There's I believe the light should just come up and he's jerking off but Yeah, it's a great idea and I'm just like lights down I'm just like yeah I think what he did was freaky and weird but i think louis i don't think louis is a monster i don't know him very well but i don't i don't think he's a bad person he's always been friendly to me he's not a bad person no like i i he's not like he's not a bad he's not he's also again i don't want to be like i defending a sex criminal if it's a power thing he the more powerful he got the less he did it yeah that's the weird thing right it's like i think he realized that what he did was fucked

up and like he had these crazy urges and he did it and then as time went on he stopped doing it and he's like i am a prisoner to some shit that i know and if he had just got in front of it i feel like if he had just real a if he had just talked about it. Yeah. Letterman talked about fucking his staff on the air. Yeah. And no one cared. Well, Letterman just went straight, you mean 100% confessional.

Yeah, which I think Louis could have done. I think he just mishandled it. Liked having sex with the people that work with him. And by the way, I talked to Mulaney about this yesterday. He goes, have you watched it? He's getting laughs the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. Like the whole time.

The whole time. Getting big laughs. He was brilliant. Yeah. I miss him. And the other thing, it's like the irony of like Netflix didn't pull his show. Yeah. But he was only having sex with people.

But here's the thing. Having sex with people but here's the thing having sex with people back then but that's now an abuse of power though that's now it is that's that can sit again we're talking about four years ago that's crazy you know what it feels like it's changed what's changed is it just everyone i think the harvey weinstein thing was so fucking gross and he's such a monster yeah that everybody's like, I think there's this ripple effect and that this, we're like way beyond normal reactions for things. Like Matt Lauer. I'm still trying to figure out what Matt Lauer did that got him fired. I think he had sex with someone on staff.

Yeah. I think he had sex with someone on staff that probably felt like she couldn't stop. That would be the sort of rub. I don't know. You see, I don't want to victim shame, right? You don't know what really happened. I don't know his version. I don't even know her version.

I just know the third hand version. You know, like I read one that he had sex with some girl until she blacked out. I'm like, damn, Matt Lauer likes to fuck. Yeah. He's throwing his dick. In his office. And then the other thing was that he had a button at his desk where he could lock the door. That to me is less a rape trap than it is.

Just like a fucking, I don't want to have to get up and go. Yeah. When you're, the offices at 30 Rock aren't that big. And you're like, you know, it's probably, I don't want to walk 40 feet. Right. Every time I need to shut the door. Well, it's also, he's writing, right? When you write, you don't want to be disturbed.

You're just like, I'd rather just, let me just lock this fucking door and lock into this thing. I don't even think he was writing right when you write you don't want to be disturbed you just like it's rather just let me just lock this fucking door and lock into this thing i don't even think he was writing i think it's just like a convenience thing maybe um but there was no um the only abuse is that he was having sex with someone who was below him right there wasn't like he you know he didn't chase him down like harvey did or did or offer them a gig. Another friend of mine said something interesting, which he said, until dating people you work with is illegal, this is never going to stop. Yeah, Whitney's got a great joke about that that she's doing right now, about working in an office because she works with Roseanne now.

Yeah. It's their world. Yeah. When men and women are in an environment together. know, because she works on Roseanne now. Yeah. It's their world, you know? It's like when men and women are in an environment together. It becomes your entire ecosystem. And you can't, like, where else are you going to meet people? Right. And you're working all day. So it's most of your day.

Most of your life is with these people. Also, in the same way that they serve, like, lunch at these places now, or they have, like, we play foosball and all that shit at google like we have slides and ball pits it's like you can fuck people here like that's one of our things that's one of our incentives we're all out that they'll do they want to keep people on campus but as soon as you stop you make that illegal so if you if you decide like the our rules are you cannot have sex with anybody you work with, then you want to fuck everybody you work with.

Joe. Right? Yes, but you can't do it. This speaks to the drinking thing. But why can't you if you, but sometimes it does work. Like if a man and a woman are working together, didn't Jimmy Kimmel marry one of his head writers or something like that yeah he did there you go again is he a monster i know how does that work trust is she believe yes she was that's what it doesn't he's i know i know that's the thing

that's the irony of all this shit there was a thing that leno did his last show it was like uh the 25 kids that were born to couples who met on the show and i was watching going like this all was sexual harassment it's all crime yeah this is where this is this is a this is a perp walk basically but it's not if the two people are really into if it works it's not you ever dated a comic no dated one when i was 21 i don't even really like sleeping with waitresses on it like i really try to avoid it like i i try everything everything in my i can't say i've never done it but i really try not to yeah because i don't even think a lot of times you're attracted to them i think you're attracted to the dynamic i think you're attracted to them I think you're attracted to the dynamic I think you're attracted to like the uniform and

like you're working and they're working and you're not supposed to and da da da and then you see them off campus in normal clothes and you're like ugh you're just normal here just a regular person can you go put your outfit on put your apron on listen how about you just pretend to work at a diner

and I'll stop in for a coffee and then we'll talk yeah uh how was your experience with the dating somebody but just i just think um there's too much i want to be a comic going on we were both 21 we're both uh both like really raw open micers trying it out didn't know what the fuck the future held in store for us it was just too much comedy talk and i was like oh she's too much like me yeah but she was fucking funny and uh she was one of the few people that i was like wow like she really could be like legit like when when we were all open micers together and she it never worked out for her she's quit yeah i guess i mean i lost touch with her but last time i talked to her. I think we were both like 22, 23, something like that. And then I'd heard somebody ran into her at an open mic night,

like a year later, but she had never gotten out of the open mic scene, you know? So she was in the open mic scene for two, three years and never figured out how to make money. And now, you know, just didn't have whatever it is that some people have the,

the, the fucking driving ambition to, to figure it out. I don't. One of the reasons I wouldn't date another comedian is I don't like that ambition part of me. Meaning like I have it. It does like drive me. But you don't want to see it in a group.

I don't want to see it in another group. I don't want that to be my emotional support the person who thinks the way i think or feels the way i feel yeah in regards to achievement yeah especially like status and you know recognition getting the recognition from your peers and all that kind of crazy shit and craving it and where are you with all that stuff with recognition yeah um i'm everything right now i'm pretty comfortable i was gonna say i don't know how you are with like uh congratulations or compliments or stuff but you've done really well for yourself thank you like you've done like this is fucking impressive i don't like, like, I was just thinking about that the other day.

I was like, you don't get a lot of press, you don't probably do, you probably get offers all the time and just don't do it, but you've fucking built a great thing. Like, a great, like, first of all, to say, like, I'll tell you a comment somebody else gave you. Chris Rock said about you, he goes,

Joe Rogan basically physically willed himself into being a great comic. I don't even know what Chris meant by that. But I know it's a comic. Like, you just were like, no, I'm going to do that. And I'm going to be a great comic. And you became a great comic. That's to say nothing of all this stuff.

That's to say nothing of, like, building an atmosphere where two men can talk about rape no building an atmosphere where you can have me on you can have you know alex jones on you have a fucking neil degrasse tyson on you can have um uh the milo yunopoli like you just having all these people on and it's this weird cross section that you built and it's all just from like oh i'm into that it doesn't even seem that calculated it's not calculated at all yeah yeah but it is but i but you deserve full uh accolades thank you sir yeah appreciate it yeah like really like it's really like you've done a, not only like you've built an empire or whatever, but you've like, you've, you've, you started with your voice and your interests and worked out, inside out.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'm into that. I like talking to people. I like talking to people about these five or eight things and then you didn't and you don't chase You don't genre chase you know to Wealthy and old to do it anymore any but you're not like I gotta do it. I gotta do a multi-game You've done but I got to do with this thing or I got to do with that or I got to get but I if

I was on a network I get billboards and i get all you know what i mean like you'd get you don't do dumb shit no i just i'm into what i'm into you know and i did dumb shit with fear factor i realized from doing fear factor was a great education for me first of all it gave me a lot of fuck you money which was great because then i realized well once you have that like oh you really can't it doesn't really matter you really can't, it doesn't really matter. You really can do what you want if you don't have to worry about how your bills are being paid. Now you have this freedom.

It's like if they cancel it tomorrow and I'm like, I still have this, I didn't spend it all. I still have a bunch of money and now I can make a living doing standup. I can do whatever I want. Also, you could not make a living doing standup. You don't need to make a living. Right. You don't have to. Right. You don't need to make a living. Right. You don't have to.

Right. You don't need to make a living. You've got it. You're good. You just lay back. Yeah. If you want to, but I can never do that. But I just decided somewhere along the line, like, what am I really interested in?

Yeah. You know? That, to me, is the key. That's kind of where I've gotten in the last literally in the last year because like the my three mics was popular and successful like creatively and uh and like you know people liked it and critics liked it and um and it was the the last year is the first time i've been like am i funny am i talented i'm like no i am i am so now i can stop doing shit out of prove yeah you are to prove this dumb thing yeah that is mostly paranoia right because uh when you find when people are like what you think what do you mean am i funny

or can you write? Like the things that I would actually consciously think. Right. It's hard when you battle those things in your head because they steal your perception, you know? It's such a waste of time. Such a waste. It's not even a waste. It's maybe the biggest waste of anything on earth.

Like, it's a, it's a, it's, your brain is, it's an occupying force in your brain. But it's impossible to tell that to someone who's just starting out or who's ambitious and struggling because, like, that is all they want. They so desire affirmation. Yeah. To know that, hey, I'm a legit pro. Yeah, and that's the thing is I got enough affirmation. Three mics is popular, and this is how dumb the inner voices were. I would think, yeah, you can write sketches, but you can only write single camera sketches.

Oh, that's so hilarious. So then I was like, you probably can't write multi-camp sketches and then dave hosted snl he asked me to help him with it and i wrote a great sketch and i was like okay of course you can you could write whatever i know i know but i it call me next time you have these i know i know yeah you it was so obvious to everyone except me and then i was like and then the popularity of three mics i was like oh it's fulfilling it is fulfilling but it's also like you just check it off the list of like okay i don't have to pursue this thing like uh i know that that won't bring me it did bring me fulfillment in that it shut the voices up right but it didn't bring me fulfillment of like, now when I walk into restaurants, five people

know me. And that's changed. Like that doesn't change shit. Some people love that. Some people live for that. I find that to be nothing. That's a giant distraction. Yeah.

I just find it to be like. Hey, you know what time it is? Yeah. And then I'm just like, I don't really remember. Well, then it gets to the place. It's gratifying, but it doesn't permeate. Well, it gets to a place where you're like Chris Rock, where it becomes a problem. Yeah.

Like if Chris Rock goes into Spago or wherever, like all of a sudden, whoosh, like all eyes are on him. The paparazzi get notified. They're waiting out front with cameras. People inside are looking. He's over there. He's over there. He's over there. He's over there. He's over there.

He's over there. There's the, there's that level where you get, where it becomes a giant distraction and it fucks with your art too. Yeah. Chris is good about that shit in that he doesn't have literally, he travels by himself. He doesn't have any boys. Yeah. He comes to the comedy store.

No bodyguards. No bullshit. Pulls in. Yep. Hey, what's up? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, he's very wise in that regard. And he knew. He didn't insulate himself. Yeah. I can't have people gassing me. Yeah. Smart of him. Yeah.

He's a fucking smart guy, though. He can see the pitfalls in advance. Yeah. Which is why he's a great comic. He's psychologically aware. He's not just delusional and trying to push something that he's trying to make work. Yeah, we all have blind spots creatively and personally. He has maybe the fewest blind spots of anyone I know.

Well, that's why he was willing to hire people to help him with his act. Well, that's why he was willing to hire people to help him with his act. By the way, that thing of hiring people, because I work on his new hour, here's what it is. He likes comedy writers. Right. And when you're him, you don't have any peers. Right. No one's walking up to Rock and giving him tags.

Right, of course. I would, because I know him, but he doesn't really have like peers peers right right like so he just has comedy he's like he goes i like having comics or comedy writers around and comics the way rappers like gold chains he's like it just makes me feel good he just i swear to he just likes comics i can tell you in his new hour like it's not i have a two tags no there's no premises there's none of that shit there's like literally i have two tags you wouldn't if i hadn't given them to him you wouldn't notice but it's also in the interest of making the overall product better and so he's willing to have a bunch of outside eyes it's putting yes

it's putting your material against his basically it's like okay how would you what do you have for that joke no i think i have all the best beats already well what i was going to say is his work with richard jenny was a great example yeah i did too yeah i think jenny's the most unheralded. I thought one of, what was it? His second to last. Steaming Pile of Me. Steaming Pile of Me was great. And then the one, he had some, I remember the one where he got out of the subway car. Oh, yeah.

I was like, I remember watching and going like, this is fucking good. It's great. Yeah, I haven't watched it in 20 years probably, but I going like yeah this shit is really really good on a steamy pile of me i was just uh talking to some comics about it the other night i'm like he has a bit about the difference between the left and the right and the center and you know and and i don't want to do i want to paraphrase it but it's fucking such a well-written bit and he was so good at squeezing every last angle out of bits fucking premise Oh, just smashed them. Yeah, just be dude. It would be obliterated and his economy of words was so Magical he was he was a craftsman. Yeah, you know

Yeah He was really fucking good again a deeply troubled guy never felt like he got the respect that he deserved and never got to be the – He didn't. Well, he was in a – I think if he was alive today, he would be this huge Netflix star selling out big places. And he would probably be happy with that. But in his era, that wasn't the goal. In his era, the goal was get a sitcom. And so he used to do clubs where I would go.

I would do the clubs after him. And they would be saying like, oh, he hates it. He didn't want to do this. He hates doing press. He's bummed out that he's on the road. He didn't move to Hollywood to be on the road. Yeah. And I was like, does he understand that he's like one of the best comics that's ever lived?

Yeah. Like when we were all kids, when we were starting out, back when I met you at Boston Comedy in like 1991 or whatever it was, you weren't even doing stand-up back then. The goal was to make a living. Like, do you think you can make a living? You know what Jenny's only problem was? His material was great. And I'm trying to think of a guy who's like this now.

His material was great. His presentation was artless. great his presentation was artless meaning he'd look like he bought his suits at fucking at the dick tracy villain shop like he just looked like he just had a hacky sensibility right his fucking bits were great right like there are people that don't like Sebastian because of what I'm saying. Because he's too stylized? He's not stylized. He looks, Sebastian shops at the mall. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, I see what you're saying. He's just a populist. He's not an artist. He's not, you know what I mean? Like, he's like, he, I once described, I once brought Sebastian up as a blue collar snob. And which is exactly what he is. And, but like, there are people, like, I'll have arguments with people where I'm like, Sebastian's fucking great.

And they're like, he doesn't need a little hacky. I'm like, no. He's not hacky at all. But because he dresses like a fucking Italian fucking chooch from Chicago. A chooch. He wears vests. He wears vests. Literally people deduct points.

They're not even aware they're doing it. Yeah. And Jenny suffered from that where you had to go, boy, this is a fucking good bit. Like this is like in terms of writing-wise, like, he was as good a bit writer as Hicks was at that time. Better. Way better. Again. Way better.

In terms of humor? In terms of humor, I don't even think they're close. Okay. But I'm saying in terms of his peers at the time. But, I mean, if you listen to Hicks, you're not going to laugh a lot. No. If you listen to a steaming pile of me, you're going to... I was in the car coming back from the Irvine improv before I filmed my last comedy special.

I was prepping for the comedy special. And one of the things I like to do, I like to do Irvine. It's a big place. You get everything tight. You get a full weekend in. And as I was driving home, I said, let me listen to some Richard Jenney. And I listened to steaming pile me. And I hadn't heard it in years.

And it was from 2007, I believe, and I was fucking crying laughing, clapping in my car by myself on the way home. I think he was one of the best ever. And I think Hicks is a great comic. Don't get me wrong. I mean, he's one of the most influential and important guys ever. But in terms of humor value, I think Richard Jenny is above and beyond. You put Jenny closer to Carlin. Yes. Yes. I put him above Carlin. Wow. terms of like humor value right i think richard jenny is above and so you put you put jenny like

closer to carlin yes yeah yes i put it again carlin wow that's to me yeah that's fine in terms of like i kind of think rock might too rock fucking adored jenny but like uh the you but people deduct points because it seemed like because Yeah, because he wore a sweater with a button-up shirt. And Carlin would wear fucking a t-shirt and like, I'm a workman artist. Whereas Jenny was like, what are you going for? The dentist. Yeah. The dentist who's off-duty.

Yeah. And he's wearing tan and his hair is combed back. Well, he had a lot of plastic surgery too. He kind of went a little nutty and tried to become a leading man. Yeah. He had a lot of issues. But the comedy was fucking genius, man. Yeah.

But people do judge like people the way they look, you know, like it's, it's a weird thing. You know, like Whitney in her last special her HBO special, she wore her hair down. Yeah. And she said that was, like, a big issue. Did she tell you? She always wears her hair up. Yeah. She's like, and they wanted her to wear, and Chris wanted her to wear her hair down.

Yeah. And she's like, I just put it on. And I was like, you should have wore your hair up. Yeah. That's what you do. You wear your hair up all the time. In this argument, Rock was saying he wanted her hair down. Why?

And by the way, Rock didn't say it. Rock just said it to someone at HBO. Like was saying he wanted her hair down. By the way, Rock didn't say it. Rock just said it to someone at HBO. Like, she should wear her hair down. He wasn't like, I demand. Hello, this is Chris Rock. He was like, just, she should wear her hair down. His thing was, she reads too hard on camera. With her hair pulled back, it's all, and her delivery is so, like, menacing is the wrong word.

But, like, it's, like, very, like, forceful. Yeah, but see, that's what I like. Right. I like the fact that she's like, I'm pulling my fucking hair up. No nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. No bullshit.

He was seeing it more from just a point of view of like a director. Yeah. Just like. Because, dude, it matters. It does matter. It matters. It matters more than you think. But it matters more, I think, for the person delivering it, they feel comfortable.

And I think because she's a beautiful woman, I think for her, pulling her hair up is like, I'm not accentuating that at all i just want you to listen to what i have to say yeah and that's the best way to do it you know like there's parallels i mean like like if you saw a really funny woman but she was dressing like a prime time megan kelly on fox with little tiny skirts on and her boobs showing it's like what are you selling like you're selling something different than just i'm a stand-up comic like you're you're selling i'm a sexy lady out for a night on the town but i'm also going to tell you some jokes yeah that's a mixed message yeah i

but the the thing that people don't take into account sometimes is like you know a lot of the successful male comics are good looking. Tosh is fucking good looking. He's a handsome fellow, but weird gay tones, right? Fine. Fine. That's the small price to pay for those looks. You get a fucking face like that. I love Tosh, but the reason why I said that was like, Doug Stanhope, who's a fucking maniac,

wrote something crazy about Tosh in his book. Just fucking with him I forget it was that he murders women who question his sexuality like Stanhope went semi Hunter S Thompson in some of his stuff where it's like clearly obviously he's making things up

you have to be obviously aware but yeah Tosh is obviously a good looking guy Sebastian's a beautiful man Dave Dave Chappelle? But yeah, Tosh is obviously a good-looking guy. Sebastian's a beautiful man. Dave... Chappelle? Chappelle, yeah. I think he was better looking skinny. Really?

Yeah, personally. That was more my speed. He's got some fucking guns now. Yeah. Like, there's not... Like, Kazi was good-looking. Pryor looked like something. I think looks mean more than

people take into account it's like i always say to people no one with gray hair has ever made it as a comic not never but almost never think about it steve martin and rodney are my list rodney was a cartoon old man i think there's something about being old, though. You lose your exuberance and your enthusiasm, and then people are, you know, that's a part of the aging process. And it depends on how much you cultivate your own personal energy. Like, how much are you paying attention to that? How well are you taking care of your body? I also think people are more impressed if you can come to these conclusions in 26 years. Yeah, but you can't.

Well, a few people have. A few geniuses. Yeah. But like Ron White is a gray haired guy now. I mean, he's deep into his 60s. He's been, and he's like a cartoon alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah, he is a cartoon.

And a real alcoholic. Yeah, he's legit and funny as shit. Yeah, that motherfucker that motherfucker is so funny I said to him I was like, hey, he did a joke and I go, do you remember that joke where you're talking about you're in

a fight with your wife and you said something and he goes like I don't remember. And it's like, you don't remember? That's a fucking, i don't remember and it's like you don't remember that's a fucking you don't remember dude dude he was telling us a story in the back room of the comedy store uh you know the back bar yeah he was telling us a story and i'm fucking literally when i say he didn't remember by the way it was he i'd seen him do it six weeks earlier and he was like i don't remember i was he was telling a story and i was crying like tears were rolling down my face and i forget who else

was with us and i go you got to tell that on stage he goes you think i go please tell that story on stage please and he goes i don't know i go just fucking tell it it's gonna kill he went on stage with it that night he's like got a bottle of tequila he pours himself another drink literally goes from the back bar to the stage and closes with that yeah closes with it and it smashes yeah out of the park i think i may have seen a bit of it jeff by the way jeffrey's jim went on he's jim's not badly i mean he's like whatever it's good looking guy yeah um uh jeffrey's went on the other night like he was like, whatever. He's a good looking guy. Jeffrey's went on the other night.

He'd been drinking all day and his friend was like, can you do stand up drunk? And he's like, yeah. And he's like, I don't believe it, whatever. And Jeffrey's went on and fucking murdered for a half an hour. Just drunk. Yeah. It can be done. God bless you.

Yeah. I mean, especially if you're feeling it. Yeah. You know, I feel like sometimes being drunk, like as long as the momentum's in the right way, you know, like you're thinking in a good way and everything comes out and you're on the stage, ah, I got some fucking shit to talk about. Yeah. Here we go.

Yeah. And then he goes in his act. Yeah. You don't really, do you drink much? A little bit, yeah. Do you get like drunk? No, not before I go on stage. Very, very rarely.

I have, it's not good. I like a drink, maybe two drinks, you know, it'd get a little tipsy. Yeah. But being drunk on stage, it's like not, it's not the right way to manage the ideas, but it is a good way to not give a fuck. Yeah. It's like if you have an idea and you feel so strongly about it and you're i mean obviously it so varies depending upon where you are in your life and where you are with the material but sometimes some material just

needs a little bit of i don't give a fuck yeah you know and then if you have a couple of drinks before you talk about that subject and you're like, why the fuck do I have to pay attention to this? And then it gets in a new place. It truly jogs the brain where it's like, here's a fucking wall. This wall is a door. And you're like, oh, fuck. All right. And then you're talking some real shit.

I'm a big believer in using as many different methods as possible to explore ideas, whether it's the sensory deprivation tank or pot or psychedelics or booze or just going places and doing things. And I think as I've gotten older and I'm on a schedule to put out a special every year and a half or so, two years now, I think. It's like my last one was in October. So my last one was a year and a couple months and I'm getting ready to film it in April. So it'll be about a year and a half.

Yeah. That's like to me is like a good schedule. Came out in October. Yeah. Came out in October. Shot it in June. So from shoot to shoot is about two years. I feel like that is if to do that, I have to do things.

Yeah. I have to have experiences. I have to. I have to do things. I have to have experiences. I have to force, I have to not force myself to, but I have to be consciously aware of being in action. Things have to happen. Yeah, like I'm going to Vancouver next week to do Iboga. Oh, shit. And then the week after that, I'm going to Bangkok. Is Ibogaine legal in vancouver yeah it is it beautiful should be everywhere yeah it's not something that kills people so it's

supposed to be amazing for curing addictions yeah that's i'm just gonna see what it does for depression because it's gotten way better like in the last year uh the depression's gotten better and which is a weird thing from I hate to say that having a successful special cured my depression but you hate I don't want to be that linear but it made me it just got me out of

fucking negative thinking isn't that funny but I don't I don't think there's anything wrong with you saying that because I think there's a real stigma between correlating having a successful life and achievement and being happy. But Ari Shaffir is a great example of that. I think Ari, there was a chemical issue too. You know, Ari was on Propecia for a while. Holding on. Yeah. He let go. He got off of it.

But one of the side effects of Proitia is pretty severe depression yeah um ari got on some psych meds he got on some antidepressants then his career took off and he weaned himself off the antidepressants yes and he doesn't need them anymore i mean the ari's one of the happiest guys i know yeah but he's also very successful yeah and that's you know last four five years of his life it's like money you're you know money can't buy you happiness uh it's true validation isn't nothing it's not nothing it's like it's you know esteem and the look in people's eyes and the energy people have yes that's what i'm saying like the look of like oh yeah you're yeah i can't like you're you're you're legit you and i when i if i run into you if we're passing in the hallway and you know you say i love that bit you're doing like ah like i'm like i know

you're a really funny guy yeah you like my thing i get happy you tell me that chris rock said i'm a great comic yeah i get happy yeah positive affirmation it's real i mean like as much as i like i'm not insecure in fact like i i'm like i go up tonight am i? Do I know how to do this? No. Yeah. No. But you tell me someone who's really good says I'm good. It feels good. You feel like you're in. And that's what so many of us felt like we weren't. Yes. Before we became comics.

By the way, I'd like to say that goes away. Ellen DeGeneres is I shot this Netflix commercial with her and Chris and Seinfeld and Dave and and so we me and Ellen are like buddies now and she's doing a new hour and she sent

me 15 minutes of it on DVD it like she doesn't fuck with computers she doesn't email which is like smart I mean not like she doesn't fuck with computers she doesn't email which is like smart so she I mean not like she doesn't fuck with computers like she just doesn't yeah yeah um she doesn't like she'll text on her phone she'll she'll Instagram whatever but um she sent me the her 15 minutes on a DVD and I watched it like midnight on a Thursday and didn't text her. Cause I don't know when she goes to sleep.

And I woke up to a text from her going like, Hey, did you watch it? Right. And I was like, yeah, she's like, I'm starting to get,

and she's like, and I go, yes. I was like, Ellen, you're fucking hilarious. And she wrote like few, you know,

like it never ends. Never ends. It never ends. It can't end. If it ends, you know, it's like, I've talked about this before,

that that dream of retirement that's sailing off in the sunset is straight up. Not for us. Yeah. It's horseshit. Yeah. You, you want to do good stuff. And the only way to do good stuff is to worry whether or not you're doing good stuff.

Yeah. That's the main, or again, I'm trying to balance the, the desire to do good stuff and not, and having a good life. You know what I mean? You have to have both. Cause that's the, the, the other thing that happened was like when, like when Charlie Murphy died this year, I was like, boy, so fucking, that's, like, that was it. Yeah. That's, that's it.

Yeah, that's it. That's the end of him. Right. And, like, I want, all I could think was, did he have fun? Right. You know what I mean? Like, did he have fun? Because that's really the only thing that matters.

All this stuff of, of like even the best known comic isn't i mean you're like people don't think about carlin that much anymore do you know what i mean yeah like it doesn't matter it doesn't it matters to the people that you affect in a positive way but ultimately for you you live and then you die and are are you enjoying being alive and those uncomfortable things do they help you? Like the uncomfortable things about Ellen, like, phew. What that's going to do is going to allow her through that weird sort of anxiety and insecurity. It's going to allow her to make an amazing special.

And the same thing can be said of us. When I'm on a film in April, I am fucking terrified of writing a new act. Because this act, when I first started it a year ago, it was like on Bambi legs and it was dog shit. And I would do it at the store and I would have bits that would just be clunky and it'd come out awkward. And then they started to take life after a month or so. And then they started to grow and build till it was something that I could take on the

road. And now that I've gone through that whole process, the idea of tossing it aside and starting all over again is like, yikes, this is terrifying. But that's the only way you get better. Yeah. By the way, Ellen did like a half hour at Largo, and then she did a half hour of Q&A.

And when I say this motherfucker murdered, this mother, I mean, it was like, God damn. Like, oh, that's the funniest thing she could have said, followed by that being the funniest thing she could. Like, literally, like, in a fucking, it was like watching someone in a fight. Just like, ah, ah, ah. Like, Q&A and fucking murdering. And the people yelling things out? It was just like, Ellen, I, da, da, da, da.

And she was funny. She was mean. Because she's a fucking comic she's like a fucking you know what i mean like she can write you don't write jokes from kindness well yeah i write jokes from agitation and have to tell people that yeah uh but she's like she like even people that worked on her on her talk show were like jesus that was like magic like we're just like god damn well the talk show is great yeah talk show is censored you know give her an option to just do something like that yeah you're gonna see what she's really capable of and and she's capable of being very charming and fun she's really super like that's what the show mostly is like it's mostly just like doing a,

she's just sweet. Yeah. And then as a comic, she's not, it's not just sweet. It can't be. It can't. It's literally,

you can't do comedy. It's just me. I do that stand up on the spot show. You've done that before, right? I did it Tuesday night and I said something to somebody.

I go, look, I go, I'm going to be mean. I go, yeah, I understand that. I don't mean this, but when you say something stupid, I have to to someone. I go, look. I go, I'm going to be mean. I go, you got to understand that. I don't mean this. But when you say something stupid, I have to attack you. You have to be sacrificed for the greater good of the show.

Yeah. As long as you guys are cool with that. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's just the way it is. And it's not like she's not like a dark-hearted person or whatever. But it's like that's just kind of who. And, you know, yeah. We all have this fear of like, i do it again it's jumping you're

jumping over your your evil kenevil yeah and it's like you there really is like a fear of like can i clear the can i clear the the chasm and you're literally only as good as your last set yeah if you bomb like you better get up on stage quick and fix it hurt shit stings for 20 hours you better get back up there and fix it yeah side effects may you literally will sting for that shit doesn't and i don't think it gets better it doesn't get better gets worse because then the people come to see you they expect more of you you have higher expectations you should know better yeah you should know you should know better than to bomb. What the hell is your problem? How are you bombing still?

But the thing is, man, the development of material must be done in front of an audience. I mean, I write on a computer and on a notebook, but the only way it really works out is in front of a crowd. Yeah. Yeah. There's no, that's, if it's not, if they don't laugh, it's not comedy. Yeah, and you don't really know for sure where the beats are. You think you've got a pretty good roadmap from all your experience,

but until you do it in front of a live audience, they're there to tell you. So, Mulaney just did this Mark Twain thing for Letterman. It was like the Mark Twain Prize on PBS for David Letterman. So, it's like Steve Martin, just Bill Murray murray everybody and john mulaney's doing it so he sends me his uh speech his like his bit and uh i'm reading it and it's whatever i'm like hey like whatever couple ideas and then uh so i watch it and he did a line that like killed like immediate, like one of those things where they laugh for a split second and then immediately applaud like fuck laughing.

Right. We have to go immediately to applause. So, and I was watching this and I was like, I didn't even know that was a joke. Like when I read it, I was like, I didn't know that was a joke. So I text Mulaney. I go, did you, was that a punchline to you? And he goes, nope. Had no idea.

Two guys with a lot of experience. No fucking idea. And he got an applause break. Like the highlight of his part. That's so crazy. Didn't even know it was a joke. And that's what an audience does That you can't like

Oh now we're doing comedy I thought that was a straight I thought that was just a metaphor You know I have an app on my phone The sound app The voice notes app And when I You can look at it

You can edit the voice notes And when you do When you go into the edit mode You can see the spikes and so I'm going over this one bit and I look and there's this giant fucking spike in this Harvey Weinstein

bit that I have and then I realized that the giant spike is something that I didn't even know was a punchline when I wrote it. I was trying to set something else up but the way it played out it got the biggest fucking laugh of the entire bit and then you have to act like you meant to do that like oh that old thing yeah yeah I'm like how the fuck did that and then I got off stage and Tony

Hinchcliffe said he go do that fucking line it's so funny I'm like man I didn't even know that was gonna be funny I'll tell you yeah no I can't no that you I was saying I would I there is you did a thing that I was like that's fucking oh the thing that I like you said about it's like sometimes like rapists just look like rapists oh that's right I'm hardly doing that but anymore yeah like they say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover like yeah but yeah your instincts are dead right yeah that guy looks like he rapes he looks like a fucking total piece of shit yeah

I mean what a trap it would be if you looked like that and you weren't a piece of shit you're like I'm really a nice guy yeah I'm the sweetest guy ever yeah

so there's no there's literally no knowing yeah what yeah until you do it like there's no

it's a weird art form in that regard you know I was talking to Chris Stapleton about that I was you know he was I was saying you write all your, and then you perform it to the audience. It's done.

And I'm like, for a comic, it's so rare that I write a bit that comes out perfect. And then I bring it to the stage, and it literally mirrors what I wrote down. Yeah. I mean, sometimes, but it's never. There's also a thing, I was reading something or listening to something where like your brain,

adrenaline will make your brain do different shit. Yeah. Meaning, so you need to put your, you need to, like you can have the map, you can have your plan, but then adrenaline will be like, it's like you ever watch somebody, Dave did something, did you see that Def Comedy Jam 25th anniversary thing? It's not very good, but it's on Netflix. But, here's the good news, not very good.

There's a sequence where Chappelle and D.L. Hughley are on and Chappelle is so fucking funny it's truly breathtaking and he's improvising the whole thing and it's like so fucking breathtaking and I was there with

Jimmy Carr the comedian I was like this I was like when I'm impressed by David's like he must cause I fucking know him so well and I was like with Jimmy Carr, the comedian. I was like, this, I was like, when I'm impressed by David, it's like, he must, because I fucking know him so well. And I was like, this motherfucker's like, and he's like, yes, but don't discount, don't assume that you couldn't have done something because adrenaline does make your brain do shit. It kind of makes it like superhuman.

Yeah. And super like, like make logic leaps that you wouldn't. But I, in my, in my line of work and like my, I, that's maybe 10% ultimately of like, it's 90% written and then I'll 10% say, come on with some on stage. Yeah. Um, when I'm intoxicated, um, I'm more willing to take these big leaps and, and go into new rooms and like take new, new paths off of stuff like i'll take a wild especially marijuana like there's something about being high where i'm if i'm doing a bit especially a new bit where i'll go well what what about his mom the fuck how's his mom feel about this yeah

like that bitch is gonna be like what did i do you know and then you'll have this whole another angle that it's almost like in the moment it shows itself and then you have to chase it down you have to have the courage to chase it down live in front of a bunch of people that paid to hear you talk yeah and that's the risk you kind of that's where uh hubris comes in yeah that's where it's like yeah i don't know i know you paid yeah ah well this is how it's got to be done yeah one of the good things about comedy today is because of all these kind of conversations that we have, people sort of understand the process and particularly the comedy story. People like the process.

Yeah. They want to see the process play out. Yeah. Like I've talked to a guy the other day that was like, I came to see you while you were doing that Bruce Jenner thing. And I saw it through all its incarnations. I saw the early part was kind of clunky. And then I saw it where it became the finished thing which is

your closing bit on the special. Yeah. And he was like I saw you over a period of like three times over eight months. He was like it was really interesting. Yeah. Like they like it. They're comedy nerds. Yeah. Yes. Chappelle thinks that's because of alternative comedy. He believes that one of the great

things about alt comedy was it brought people into the process. Hmm. I think he's right. I think it's that and podcasts. Yeah, I think podcasts more so because obviously way more people listen to podcasts than go to see alternative comedy shows. I mean, if you have one or two alternative comedy shows in the city, it's a big deal. Like in L.A.

I mean, how many are going on a night three so you've got like what 900 people maybe that are seeing alternative comedy in a night whereas podcasts thousands and thousands and thousands if not millions and millions i think that there's a bunch of things going on though too it's like when you become a fan of it like i'm a fan of music and I don't really like one of the things about having Chris Stapleton in is like, I just wanted to ask him, like, how do you write jokes? Like where they come from? Yeah.

I mean, I always ask that. It's such a dumb question, but it's like, I don't have any idea what that's like. I mean, I said jokes. I meant songs. Yeah. Um, how do you, you know, where does the music come from? Do you have like a beat in your head? I mean, and, and his answer was, there's a bunch of different ways he does it.

Sometimes he's just in his car and the thought just comes to him and he starts singing into his phone. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's the – Mulaney did a joke or it's like an anecdote in his act so I won't blow it. But like Mick Jagger was hosting SNL and so Mulaney was writing a song with him. And Mulaney pitched something and Mick Jagger was hosting SNL, and so Mulaney was writing a song with him. And Mulaney pitched something, and Mick Jagger goes, no. And he goes, not funny. Wow.

That's brutal. And then he pitched like a lateral move, and he's like, yes. But it's like, okay, I guess this is fucking songwriting. When you're Mick Jagger, you could kind of just say whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. I mean, you're like a seven-year-old man who just had a baby. Yeah.

Shooting loads into models in Brazil and all over the world. He just does whatever the fuck he wants. Do you find, speaking of which, because I was saying to somebody that in light of like the Cosby, you know,

the thing where people become, I was saying like, I always say beware of a moral arbiter. Anyone who holds, beware of a moral pillar. Because why are you doing this? Right. Like what benefit? You're not doing it for society. You're not trying to benefit. You're not trying to sell the good word.

You're literally just being a superior dickhead. Right. Which was Cosby's move. A hundred percent. Yeah. Do you think, have you noticed what adulation has done to your personality? Hmm. Have you noticed a little creep?

personality hmm have you noticed a little creep have you noticed a creep of like oh i've that that's shitty or you know what i mean i don't and by the way i'm not saying this like because i can think of one joe i'm just saying like are there moments where you're like oh like because i don't know i'm you're you're more popular than you know what i mean like than i am so i'm just wondering like have you noticed anything uh than, you know what I mean? Like than I am. So I'm just wondering, like, have you noticed anything, uh, happening that you were like,

eh, that's interesting. You gotta be careful of it for sure. Yeah. I think I felt it a lot more when I was younger or, uh, you know, just dumber.

I think you're, you're just always aware. The worst thing that you could do as a comic is lose your objectivity like whatever objectivity you have let it slip away instead of let it increase I think in order to be a good comic you have to be introspective it's not until it's very subjective yeah until you're sure of it right and then it's like no fuck you right that's where the hubris comes in yeah i mean i just think perspective you know i mean that's one of the reasons why i like pot

because it makes me insecure yeah like legitimately i like i like that in every vulnerability in every like insecure define insecure vulnerability like insecure about the future about about life itself, about like realizing like, wow, like in any moment now a fucking earthquake can happen. In any moment now we get hit by an asteroid. The cells in my body literally only have about 50 years left of life if I'm lucky. Yeah. Everything works out great. You know, all that stuff.

You know, worrying about my children, worrying about my family, worrying about, you know, all those things are real. You know, that those sort are real, you know, that those sort of vulnerabilities, they're highlighted by marijuana, the awareness of your own imminent demise, and just life itself being so fucking uber bizarre, like all those things are highlighted by marijuana, which is one of the things I like about it, that ruthless, introspective quality of pot that people call paranoia, I get paranoid. Well, I just think that's hyper awareness. Which is why hugs feel so good when you're high.

If you're high and you hug someone, you're like, ah, give me a hug, ah, it just feels so warm. It feels so warm, like food feels better. It's like you're way more aware, I work out high. One of my favorite things to do is I did it yesterday. I had this meeting here. I did a podcast. And then after meeting, I had like two hours before the meeting.

So I smoked a joint and then I hit the bag. I just went over to the heavy bag and worked out for like 45 minutes and just, man, it's like you're so aware of all the muscle tissue moving. You like feel your body different. It's like, especially for me, like for martial arts techniques, I'm really aware of the correct way to utilize leverage and weight. It all comes together. It's just hyper awareness. That hyper awareness also makes you like hyper focused on yourself and your flaws and the

way you interact with people. I never feel confident when I smoke a lot of pot. I always feel vulnerable, and I always feel like I should apologize to people for something. It's always like something that happened a month ago. Like, ah, why was I a dick about that? You feel like a woman, basically. Exactly.

I feel emotional. Vulnerable and constantly apologizing. Well, that's one of the reasons why a lot of people don't think of marijuana as being a manly thing you know marijuana is like very feminine in a lot of ways very nurturing it's really a community sort of a drug in the sense that it's not something you want to be by yourself with it's something you want to be like with a community of friends it makes you very it makes you it's a friendly drug yeah you know That's what I realized. I didn't, I never really, I'd gotten drunk. I got drunk in 2005.

And I realized like, oh, this is the value. What I realized is it's all of us sit in a rowboat and we just slowly shoot holes in the boat. And we all just slowly sink at the same. We're just getting drunk and you're just sinking and sinking. But you're doing it together. Right. So it's like nice. Yeah. And that's what it sounds like you're describing weed it's like well you're being vulnerable collective vulnerability the alcohol is going to come at a price there's no real price for the weed yeah for me at least i don't have the price when it's

over i feel fine like i don't feel like like oh my god my head's pounding what the fuck did i do last night like that that i got drunk with my buddies thing. We had the best time. We were laughing and high fiving and howling and crying, laughing. But then the next morning, like, Oh my God, your head's fucking pounding. Pot doesn't give you that part, you know? Yeah. What was the, um, so you had gone through a series of ketamine therapy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did the TMS, because I was looking at the, last time I was here was like last August. Was that transdermal magnetic stimulation?

Transcranial magnetic stimulation. Okay. Which worked. And then the problem was, and I think, I don't know if I talked about it on here or not. Someone gave me some HGH. Did I tell you that? Human growth hormone. Yeah.

Basically, so I did TMS, which is transcranial magnetic stimulation, 45 sessions. It worked great. Like, it literally stopped taking. It takes like 35 minutes. And they just put like electrodes on you or something? I think I have video. They put they put they put video on

Chris Rock sends me every single rape thing. Oh my god. Everything that comes out? Every page six. Literally he sent me probably 25 of these I don't know. It's just like a thing now because then we go like

There's so many guys the I real battalion Yeah And by the way the more salacious they can make these stories the better they were talking about some room that Mario would take people Up to in the third floors the'm like, what in the fuck? Oh, there you are. You know what makes me laugh is the, oh, you have it. Yeah. The, uh, you know what makes me laugh is the, um, the pictures of Louie got progressively

worse and worse. Oh, the ones they get signed? Yeah. Like the New York Times. I was waiting for them to just put up a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald. It's like he fucking, it's, you don't have to find the the shittiest the guiltiest looking picture well there's so much video of him beating off like air beating off you know play that video like is this is you going to the tree the last time I was

here this is online yes from last time you were here yeah wow look at that man give me some volume. You're probably talking about it. And then so I went to this. Whoa, dude. That sound is like an MRI sound. Yeah, that's what it is. Yes. That's right. We talked about it the last time we were here.

Okay, so then the problem was after that I did HGH. Someone gave me some HGH. And I was like, yeah, I'll fucking take it. I don't give a shit. Yeah, I'll take HGH. I'm always looking for an advantage. And I started having panic attacks. From HGH and I was like yeah I'll fucking take it I don't give a shit yeah I'll take HGH I'm always looking for an advantage and I started having panic attacks from HGH yes which is a it's a narrow

side effect but it's one of the side effects of HGH basically it like supercharged my whole system I started having panic attacks on stage whoa I had a panic attack the night before I taped three mics what I couldn't go on stage. Spade was supposed to bring me on

and I told Adam, I was like, I can't go on. I literally couldn't breathe. Whoa. The night before you're filming? What a mindfuck. But you killed it. Yes, I thankfully didn't get one that night. Oh my gosh. Dude, trust me.

Trust me. And then I and then I had anxiety for months literally like just like when people say I have anxiety I'd never had anxiety I was like I'm not an anxious person I wouldn't even know what that's like it's fucking miserable it's me to me it was worse than depression because you're agitated and like you just feel like static it just was like a static over your body it was like you're you just have like this like cortisol snow in your and it sucked so i went back on uh on uh zoloft um and then it ended the anxiety now but you were trying to get yourself off of that stuff

so now I'm gonna go I just stopped taking Zoloft like two weeks ago I feel actually really good because oh here's what I didn't say I also micro-dosed while I was on Zoloft I micro-dosed shrooms

like three times. Yeah. Which is actually like pretty fun. It's super fun. But it's like not... Daunting. It's not trippy. Right.

You're not like, whoa. You just feel really good. Yeah, you just feel good. I did that three times. I did LSD once. And I'm thinking of... So now I'm going off. And an interesting thing happened when I micro- three times. I did LSD once. And I'm thinking, so now I'm going off. And an interesting thing happened when I micro-dosed.

I got significantly less angry. Just as like an operating principle. Like I was just like, oh, I'm less angry. Like I just didn't feel as like snappy and shitty. Yeah. Yeah. Like for a long, for like overppy and shitty. Yeah. Like for a long, for like over a big period.

I got a buddy of mine who's a world champion kickboxer. He microdoses and he fights on it. Fights high on mushrooms. Do they test for it? Nope. Or it's just... Nope. That's funny.

Fucking people up while he's on mushrooms. That's great. And I mean, better than he's ever looked in his past. He said he could see things coming before they happen. Yep. He said he literally feels like he's got some sort of psychic better than he's ever looked in his past. He said he could see things coming before they happen Yeah He said it literally feels like he's got some sort of psychic ability when he's sparring Like he sees what guys are doing and if you watch him fight

He just looks way sharper than he's ever looked before yeah, and homeboys doing mushrooms Yeah, and that's that so I've been I stopped taking so long because you can't You can't be on it and do ibogaine oh because you can uh you risk serotonin syndrome which is like too much serotonin in your body or nah yeah yeah too much serotonin well you were the first guy to tell me about 5-htp before we even started selling it at all before we started having a new mood you were telling me about 5-htp and that you were sandy danto told me about no shit yeah because i he sold me some ecstasy and he was like yeah and also take this the next day and i was like and then i like researched and i was like oh i should just take so i still take that

5-htp i think it's good for weight loss really um it like when i take 5 hdp i'm just not hungry um it like that was the other sort of weird side effect of the micro dosing my appetite went down like significantly across the board wonder how much of the appetite is not really how much food you need but rather you need something to do. Yeah. Or it's just like at this time of day I do this. But I ended up like losing 10 pounds. That's interesting. Me. Like from 150. I've lost 12 pounds from like 159 to 147.

Wow. Yeah. But it's not like not starving myself or anything. Right. You didn't feel uncomfortable. No. Not at all. I was like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not like, not starving myself or anything. Right. You didn't feel uncomfortable. No. Not at all. So I was like, yeah.

Yeah. Do you monitor your diet? Are you eating healthy? Yeah. Like I got my blood tested probably three months ago and everything was good. Do you, are you eating sugar and bread and things like that? I've eaten, I've stopped. I've eaten, I used stopped. I've eaten.

I used to be a big dessert person. And I kind of just like, I think the mushrooms might have made me just go like, eh. You don't need that. You don't. You really don't. And sugar, you know the thing with sugar is you don't eat it for three days if you don't want it. Right. Like you just, your body doesn't like, you got to fucking get us some sugar you're just like yeah once you cut free yeah and especially if you're

really conscious about what you're eating in terms of like probiotics and things that sort of help the landscape the biome landscape and make sure you've got healthy things in there i think that's so significant and the more researchers that I talk to and the more people that are nutrition experts to start talking about your gut biome and how important it is to take the proper probiotics, I think it affects your personality. I think it affects your immune system.

I think it affects virtually the path of your life that you take. Depending upon what foods you eat, it has a different effect on how you live your life. you take depending upon what foods you eat it has a different effect on how you live your life well that's meditation does the same thing because you're like you get a feeling from meditation and then you're like do i want to spoil this right with like garbage thinking or behavior like let me just try to bring a bit of that into my every day yeah i mean that's the tank for me yeah the tank is i literally forgot about tanks until you and i'm like i live like a block from float lab you gotta go like i i went i went i think you must how long you've been doing this 2002 was the first time I got one. When did you start doing the podcast?

I think you told me about it. You told me about it. I went to Float Lab, had the thought in the tank, you got to love something. Literally, that was the thought I had, and then I got a dog. Literally, I was like, I fucking like that that I like that shit like and I just forget that it exists The tanks yeah, I think they're giant. I think it's like one of those It's it's one of those things that requires you to block off a chunk of your time So if you're a busy person, it's hard to yeah, it's hard to pull that off

But I think it's like one of the most important things you could do how can you do it? It's hard to pull that off, but I think it's one of the most important things you can do. How often do you do it? Well, I haven't done it a long time because I took the one out of my basement and I had it installed here. Got it. So it took me a few times off, and we just got it put in two days ago, so I haven't even been in it. So I haven't been a tank at all in three months. Oh, wow. Two months, two months, something like that.

How often do you think you'll do it now? A couple days a week. A couple days a week is good. If I can give myself two days a week, I'm happy. Do you ever go in and just think about your daughters? Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, is it, so it's not. I don't, like, have a plan. Right, right. Sometimes I have a plan. Like, maybe I'll have a bit that I'm trying to work out, and I just, like, this bit is just clunky. There's a part of it that's clunky.

I'll smoke some pot and climb in that tank and think about it there's a in the in the the there's like a pre fucking syllabus for the ibogaine and it's like you need to come with questions for ibogaine whoa for sweet For Sweet Lady Ibogaine. Whoa. And it's, I'm like, I have to write. And then a friend of mine

was like, can you ask a question for me? It's like, no, I don't think that's legal. He'd be like, hey,

so, well, Lucy. Lucy needs advice on her new book, man. So Lucy's curious about what's going on

with her feet. Yeah, but I'm like looking forward to asking big questions. Although I got to say the last year has been very revealing for me in terms of like what's important. What's valuable. So how much of an effect did having a dog have on you? Getting a dog something you love, you come home to? Probably like 15, 20%. He's just a fucking good dude to have around.

Yeah. Do you see that there was an article a couple weeks ago about dogs are so inbred that they're basically retarded? Whoa. They have some... Jamie, will you look it up? Because they have some... We've just piles and piles and piles and generations of inbreeding that they have this disease that's tantamount to Down syndrome.

That all dogs have this? Yeah. Really? Wow. Other than, yeah, I would assume other than like German, like the most highly trained German Shepherds are like, I'm not like them. I've got a golden retriever that's a year old now. And when I come home, like he's the only one that's awake.

You know, I'll come home from the store and, you know, everybody else is asleep. And I come home like, my dude, what's up? And he's running around me and whining and kissing me. Yeah, just like good. Just feels good. Just like good. Just good just like good just fucking good dudes yeah i take him running yeah i've seen your videos things i love doing that and he loves it oh he loves it he gets so excited he hates going in my truck but he'll go up to the truck

like he knows yeah and then i'm like come on in he won't hop in himself but i'll pick him up like he knows he's gonna have a good time once he gets in there. How long is the ride? Just a few minutes. It's not that bad. Does he really? He'll throw up if it's longer. I've taken him on a 20-minute ride before, and eventually he'll chuck.

He gets car sick. Did you see that picture of somebody took a selfie while their dog was throwing up? Holy shit, this is funny. Golden Retrievers, though, man, he's the first Golden Retriever I've had. They are lovely dogs. They're so sweet. They're just like bundles of affection and happiness. And he's smart, man.

Yeah. Like, he's really easy to train. He wants you to like him him he wants you to be happy and so like when he finds the things that you'll be happy about he you know he gravitates towards those yeah that's hold on they're such good dogs man i mean i've had a bunch of different kinds of dogs in my life and i'm a big dog fan but I'm just particularly impressed with Golden Retrievers just so nice and he's so great with my kids too that's the other thing he's just a big big love my dog what do you got Jamie oh my god oh my god that picture is hilarious she caught the

dog maybe mid her goddamn heart oh my god My dog threw up while I was taking a selfie. What is the gal's name? I don't think that's the original one. It's not? It looks like a repost. Oh, okay. A repost. Yeah.

Oh, there's a few. Is it? What does it say up there? Like. Likely. Like. L-Y-K-K-E underscore L-I. Ah, that's a fucking hilarious meme.

God damn it, that made me laugh so goddamn hard. That is pretty fucking funny. What kind of dog you got? Pitbull. Oh, there was another thing. You know what else helped with negative thoughts? It's a thing called... Murder?

Taking the pitbull out and he kills homeless people for you? Cogn cognitive behavioral therapy um and it was basically like it's this is this made me laugh like it it's so dead on they just have thinking on it's just unhelpful thinking styles uh jimmy you can bring this up too actually uh there's a chart uh one of them's all or nothing thinking, uh, or black and white thinking something like if I'm not perfect, I've failed.

Either I do it right or not at all. Just like dumb shit. So anytime I think these things, there's going to know you're disqualified. Like you got to go. Okay. Uh, mental filter,

only paying attention to certain types of evidence. Uh, noticing our failures but not seeing our successes jumping to conclusions yeah hmm thinking over generalizing a lot of these are rubbish not comedy ever happens a lot of these are literally just like comedy. How do you make comedy? Yeah, you have to exaggerate.

Jump to conclusions. But they can be really destructive on a personal level. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, for sure. But I think everybody needs something difficult to do on top of what they already do. This is my theory about stand-up comedy. difficult to do on top of what they already do. This is my theory about stand-up comedy. One of the ways that I've sort of tightened up my game over the last few years is to concentrate on difficult things outside of comedy. You know, whether it's martial arts or whether it's yoga or

bow hunting is another one for me. Doing things that are very difficult makes comedy a little bit easier. How come? Because it's relatively easier? Yeah, relatively easier, but also you recognize, like, it doesn't seem like bow hunting and stand-up comedy would ever go together. But the way they go together is there's an absolute reality in bow hunting, and it's fucking really difficult to do. And in doing that, it just helps you manage the difficulties of standup better. The same thing with jujitsu.

I felt like jujitsu helped me a lot with standup and martial arts in general because jujitsu is so much more difficult to do than comedy, like physically difficult. Like as you're doing it, you're groaning and straining and just barely, barely surviving certain situations and getting into positions where people are literally squeezing your fucking neck until you're about to black out. And it just makes the uncomfortable feeling of anticipation of stand-up, it just makes it less dangerous, like less scary. dangerous like less scary i did a show last night at the fonda so it's like a you know theater so to speak audience probably i don't know 800 people or something and i'd done a spot on tuesday night went great i've done spots every night for the last 10 years some degree of decent and the thoughts i was having before i went on like like no you're

gonna throw up on your like literally like you're gonna have a panic attack you're gonna throw up on yourself and then i'm on stage i'm like why did you think that was gonna happen you fucking weirdo i'm like none of it even came close to happening yeah but your brain's just like no no you gotta huh this is gonna like this worst case scenario shit that's so impractical the other thing you know what's great and horrible at stand-up is somebody was saying like uh yeah you can't compare your spot your set somebody else's and it's like i i can't not i heard the laughs they got right yeah i want to get those laughs or better yeah well you definitely can't have someone bombs yeah and they're all this audience sucks and you go out there and they're great yeah like yeah yeah like i have to compare like i can't like it's impossible

not i can't act like it didn't businesses can't go like oh don't worry about that guy across the street who's in the exact same business. Is it Theodore Roosevelt? Comparison is the thief of joy? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, but good luck following. That shit.

Good luck following. I mean, we all have to fucking... You ever stick around just to see what the next guy gets? Sure. Like, let me just see what this crowd... I do, but I try to do it in a pure way. I try to do it as a comedy fan. Oh, yeah.

I try to still be a comedy fan. Yes, I've done that. It's nine to one, like, doing it as a fan. Like, most of the time, especially at the store, like, I want to see the person on Acme. Don't you think the store is oddly supportive? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I never feel, like, if I catch a bad one. I never feel judged

No by the guy. I just brought up well That's another thing about we were talking about this the other day Can't you catch a bad one at the store and everybody sort of wants to like commiserate with you like oh dude last week I couldn't get a laugh to save my fucking life and everybody wants to it's not like Everyone knows like the level of comedy there is so high that everyone knows that everyone's legit. Yeah. So it's like, not like, oh, Neil Brennan's losing it.

No, it's like, oh, he's trying out some new shit. This fucking bum. Yeah. He's none of that. Yeah, he fucking, it was his turn. Yeah. And there are just moments. I followed Eric Griffin probably a month ago and he caught a bad one.

And I went, Eric Griffin, one of the worst spots he's had in a couple months. And they laughed. He laughed. We all just like, yeah, that was me three days ago. It goes down. Sometimes it's not pretty. And no one is immune, especially in the OR. Yeah, and they'd no one is immune especially in the OR. Oh

The OR the original room that room will fucking slap you in the face with reality like no other room in the country although I have more bad sets in the main room than I do in the OR do you yeah because I Don't I don't I don't even really I feel like the main, the OR like suits me better. Cause I don't have to be like gregarious and da da da. You can just be like fucking, you can be. Dark creep. Yeah. You can be a dark creep.

And you can be a dark creep in that OR. Yeah. But it's, uh, it's also think, I think it's incredibly valuable to have that many high level comics around you all the time. Yeah. To see that level and be inspired. Yeah. And like, oh, Jesus, that's a good joke.

Yeah. Or like, fuck it. Not even fuck, why didn't I think of it? I'm jealous. Just like, you know, it's a good fucking. Person nailed it. They nailed it. I give it to him.

That's a fair, he did it fair and square. The only time I don't feel those, like, God, you fucking nailed it. Why didn't I think of that? The only time I don't think like that is when I'm doing enough writing. When I'm doing plenty of writing, those creepy, like jealousy thoughts don't get in there. Or the whimsical, like, oh, it could have been me if I just got there first. oh, it could have been me if I just got there first. And it is golf in that it's as much as you can hear the guy in front of you sink a long putt,

you still got, it's you against you. It's still like, it doesn't mean, because you killed doesn't mean I can't. Right, of course. But if you think you can't, it does mean you can't. Right. Of course. Yeah. But if you think you can't, it does mean you can't. Yes. Oh, I know. I can tell you an hour before my set how I'm going to do.

I'm not even kidding. I can just tell by my serotonin level. Do you ever try to break yourself out of it? Yeah. Do you have techniques? Yeah. Positive visualization is good. yeah positive visualization is good and uh and just like taking a moment and like trying to get some serotonin going and like feel just try to feel good for me i move my body around i bounce

around in place like i jump around like i'll stretch and just get everything moving bob my head yeah i've done that shadow boxing just shuffleboxing, just shuffle my feet, just get my blood pumping and get everything accelerating. That's another thing that no one judges. No one goes like, the fuck is Rogan? You know what I mean? Like no one at the store would be like, we all just like, I've been in conversation with people.

If someone goes, hey, I got to get ready. I'm not like, bro, you can't just walk up there, man. What are you doing, bro? One time Joey Diaz yelled at me for having a notebook. You can't just walk up there, man. What are you doing, bro? Yeah. One time Joey Diaz yelled at me for having a notebook. You know, Joey's just got that weird thing like every now and then like, what are you

doing with fucking ketchup and fries? Fries taste great on their own. You don't need no fucking ketchup. Like every now and then he'd just get crazy with something like absolute. Yeah. And I had a notebook and he goes, what the fuck are you doing with that notebook? I go, I'm working on some new shit. He goes, you're carrying around that fucking notebook like those other momos that just

want you to know that they're fucking writing. Oh, I got my notebook. Get the fuck out of here with notebooks. And I was like, notebooks, Joey? Yeah, Joey, is that where it is now? I'm like, this is important. There's a new bit. I'll show you the bit.

I need to remember shit. I literally have to remember shit. I have all these new punchlines. I have to. I don't want to fuck this up. Yeah. You know what the fuck you're doing. Come on, dog. Get the fucking notebook out of here.

Again, talk about hearing what the guy in front of you gets. Following him is just like... Yeah. Okay, you guys want some fucking thoughtful notions? That's how I feel after him.

I feel like I might as well go up as like a fucking professor. Might as well have like a briefcase like, good evening, class. Well, that's one of the reasons why I started taking Joey on the road with me, just because I was scared to follow him. Yeah. And I also wanted the best comedians I could work with. Yeah. And I was like, if people come out to see me, I don't want to be the only one funny. I want everybody else to be funny, too, bring the best guys I could and and I realized that you just

Got to be able to ride the wave of Joe. Yes. That's the that it's like that with anybody Yeah, the O'von had to follow Chappelle the other night and he was like I didn't I was like scared I was like you don't be there so gacked from seeing somebody that famous Yeah, that they're like they you just don't fuck with it yeah if you're comfortable you could ride the wave but if you're insecure because oh my god i just go i'm going after joey diaz yeah shit and that nervousness and that feeling i took joey in the road with me once in new jersey and i bombed it was like the last time i bombed going after joey and uh he went up and fucking murdered.

And he was fucking with the crowd. Like, I forget what happened. But I remember that feeling as I was going up to the stage. Like, this is not going to be good. I don't have it in me. And it was a transitionary period in my act where I was like, not quite. Didn't have the bits down yet. Still working on putting it together.

But that's one of the reasons why I used to love taking him with. I can't anymore because he's down yet. Still working on putting it together. Still doing some of the old one. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. But that's one of the reasons why I used to love taking him with. I can't anymore because he's too successful. Yeah. But I would still love taking him with me. That's what Rock does. If Rock's doing a weekend, when he first had his new hour, he's like, I got to get Earthquake out here, man. He's like, I need good sparring partners. I need people that are like fucking I'm afraid to follow.

He's like, I get Earthquake and Leslie out here. Earthquake will murder a room. Yeah. You don't even know. It's one of those things where he's already murdered them. When he gets out there. Like it's all so high level. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. He

also had a thing his last special he fucked a joke up and kept it in. Oh, really? And it's like, oh, y'all never fucked up. It's fucking really funny. It's really funny. That dude is really funny. Oh, y'all never fucked up a joke?

Yeah. Y'all never fucked up a joke? That's hilarious. It's a hacky thing to say other than the way he did it was so fucking funny. That's very smart of him to do that, to bring those guys with him. Yeah. Just murderer after murderer. Yeah.

It's wise. And then you have to fucking, you have, then you can't be like, no. Because it's like, I don't care about fame. I don't, I didn't know who that person was. And he's fucking hilarious. Well, that is not just about comedy. And I think that relates to a lot of the problems that a lot of people have in life with what you would call haters. Like what a lot of haters are is they see people that are doing way better than them.

They see things that are happening. And there's some things legitimately to hate, right? Yeah. But then there's a lot of haters that are haters about athletes or about singers or rappers or whatever. A lot of it is just jealousy and the that jealousy is they look at themselves they look at that person they don't like the way they measure up and so all they can concentrate on is trying to find something wrong with that person like trying and not being instead inspired yeah you know and like being inspired is so much more beneficial to you it's so much healthier and it's so much more of a strong move yeah it doesn't you're not having i think a lot

of times with this like harvey it goes to that power thing i think some guys sometimes guys especially will see that see their career as revenge like oh yeah i think there is a little a little bit of that is worthwhile yeah but i don't i think it can poison a fucking sure poison you if you're if you're consumed by it because there's guys that we all know that are just like all they do is like you see what so-and-so got? You're like, yeah. Oh, those guys are useless. Yeah. Again, he's not, it wasn't between you and him. And it taints their work too. That mindset, that limited growth mindset, that fucks with their work. Yeah.

Just try to be original and as good as you possibly. Somebody the other night was complaining like, yeah, my agent didn't, he moved and they didn't tell me and i was like dude every job you ever get is going to be from other comics it's every job you every job i've ever gotten is from the boston comedy club the comedy seller and the store literally in my entire career that's crazy i mean basically uh I was videotaping people for casting director when I worked at Boston. Got a job out here working for her. Then I started working for Nickelodeon.

We cast MTV, singled out. I got a writing job there. Next door was Nickelodeon, all that. Started talking to them. Got a job there. Me and Chappelle write Half Baked. Him I know from Boston. Then I write movies for a while.

Then we do Chappelle Show. Still from Boston. And then I'm like in showbiz. And it's all like a direct. It's all a direct current from that every commercial i direct commercials it's all from that's from chappelle show because it's like a long story but like the air jordan i did the thing with them and then they were like you should do more commercials so i do commercial and it's like it's all from your peers right it's literally all from your parents

that's it that's the only people that are going to get you. They're the people that are going to hire you. Some people don't like to think that way because I think there's this embedded mindset that used to exist when there was a limited number of jobs. There was like only two guys could have, you know, one guy is going to be competing

against someone else for the Tonight Show. Only one guy is going to get it. That's not the case anymore. There's so much abundance. By the guy's going to get it. That's not the case anymore. There's so much abundance. By the way, there's too much. Almost, right? I mean, it's too much to keep up with. Just all the Netflix specials. You can't watch all this shit.

I truly don't have time. I don't know how people do it. But that's what it comes down to. It's not being competitive with people. It's supporting people. And being inspired by the people that are really good. That's what it comes down to is like it's not being competitive with people. It's supporting people. And being inspired by the people that are really good. Yeah. That's fuel.

Yeah. Like I was telling somebody, it's a long story, but a girl I knew, a girl I know who is a producer at a TV show and she hadn't watched my Netflix special. And I'm like, we're friends. And I was like, you're stupid for not watching it I go A it's insulting to me you're directly insulting me you're literally just hurting my feelings going out of your way

and I go and B you're in comedy it's a well regarded thing like just inform yourself I was like I saw Schumer do a joke nine years ago that I really liked and just texted her. Like, didn't really know her at all.

I was like, hey, that joke's fucking great. And then she asked me to direct her show. You know what I mean? Like, and I'm not, I didn't do it to get her to, you know what I mean? It's just this thing of just like, yeah, that's how you make relationships. You just like, I like that. Some people don't like watches stand up though. Like Norton. That's what she said. She was like, I just that. Some people don't like watching stand-up, though. Like, Norton.

That's what she said. She was like, I just don't like stand-up. And I was like, okay. I was like, that's completely fair. Well, Norton likes it, but he doesn't want to be influenced. So he doesn't watch any stand-up. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah.

This girl just doesn't. She's like, I just like scripted comedy better. Whoa. And I was like, okay. She insulted you. She insulted, bro. Bro. To my face, bro.

Bitch. Can't believe it. Hey, I got to go to the dentist. Go to the was like, okay. She insulted you. She, bro. Bro. To my face, bro. That bitch. Can't believe it. Hey, I got to go to the dentist. Go to the fucking dentist, man. Get your teeth did. Yeah. So come back after you do Ibogaine. Oh, I cannot wait.

How long are you going to be up there for? Three or four days. How many different treatments? Just one. One treatment? Yeah. And the other days are just. Kick it.

Just relax. I mean, one day is like you gotta like you gotta write your questions yeah one day is like it's I'm getting there Monday I do it Tuesday

and then that bleeds into Wednesday and maybe Thursday it's like a 24 hour experience right they say 24 to 36 ooh ooh

which I'm really I watched a bunch of videos you know what's funny is so many, if you go on YouTube and just fucking type in anything, so much of it comes back to this, to your show. Uh-oh. No, in a good way.

Like so-and-so talks about blank. Right. Like if you, especially drugs. Like it's, and there was a lot of, it was a dude who you've had on here. I can't remember his name, but like Spencer or something, I don't know, but who had talked about doing Ibogaine. Have you done Ayahuasca?

Was it Aubrey? No, I haven't done Ayahuasca. Have you done Ibogaine? DMT. Yeah. I've done mushrooms, done acid, never done Ibogaine. But I've always associated Ibogaine with being one that people use to cure addictions. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. I'm addicted to the game. The game, son. I'm trying to get loose from this game. Ladies and gentlemen, the great and powerful Neil Brennan. Good time, Joey. Until we meet again, my friend. Enjoy your Ibogaine adventures.

See you soon, ladies and gentlemen.