The Joe Rogan Experience - #1075 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: February 8, 2018

Duncan Trussell is a stand-up comedian, and host of his own podcast “The Duncan Trussell Family Hour” available on Spotify.

Before we even start the podcast, rest in peace John Anthony West. He died yesterday. One of the coolest guys ever. One of my favorite people that ever got on the podcast. The first and only full guest that I've ever done on Skype. The only reason why I did it on Skype is because he wasn't feeling well and he couldn't fly to California. So I said, this guy's so important.

I generally like to have conversations with people when they're in the room. I think they go more friendly and they're smoother that way. You can work through any bumps easier that way. You feel better. It feels like it's real. I mean, but he was so important to me

that I would have fucking taken a Raven note. You know what I mean? He just, if you've never seen the DVD series Magical Egypt, it's truly an amazing piece of work. It's, I think, six DVDs all about the history of Egypt and the immense complexity of the structures that are built there, the appreciation this guy had for what the Egyptians did was just off the charts. He was just so deeply engaged with it.

It was such a giant part of his life. And the passion and the curiosity that he had and the knowledge that he had in these DVDs would come through and you would just be like holding your face watching him going oh my god these are amazing just what a crazy time in human history this weird blip in the middle of North Africa yeah where these people just went way past everybody else. Just way past. And they did it for a long time, man.

They did it in this one spot for who knows how long. That's right. But it was thousands and thousands of years. And Graham Hancock and John Anthony West are the people that are really at the front of the line in terms of the public eye of pushing the timeline back. And there's real evidence for it. Yeah, sure.

I mean, Hancock's getting super vindicated right now. Yes, he is. And, you know, John Anthony West got vindicated as well by Robert Shock, who's a geologist from Boston University. He went to Egypt and he studied the enclosure that the Sphinx was in. And he's the guy that determined that you were looking at fissures that were created by thousands of years of rainfall right which would push back because what we know about the the what the climate was like in that area apparently it pushes it back to somewhere around 9 000 years ago which is crazy yeah because

look look however old it was it's. The pyramids are a real thing. Sure. I mean, everybody gets real weird about pushing the date back, like when it happened. There's no way it happened 30,000 years ago. It definitely happened 2,500 B.C. Maybe. Maybe. But even if it did, let's just say it all was, it just came out of nowhere somewhere around that era.

What a crazy spot, man. somewhere around that era. What a crazy spot, man. I mean, forget about the confusion and the conflict around the timeline. Just what it is. Those people were on another level. What is the main reason people get so pissed off at Hancock and West for trying to push the timeline back?

Because they've been teaching one timeline for a long time. They don't want to admit that they were wrong. If somebody publishes a book push the timeline back? Because they've been teaching one timeline for a long time. They don't want to admit that they were wrong. If somebody publishes a book about the timeline and it just definitively says, we know now that Egypt was a hunter-gatherer culture that somewhere around 3000 BC erupted into this incredible civilization. They've just been teaching that for so long.

I mean, they've been teaching not that version of it, but their version is more accurate than what I just said. I'm just making up numbers. But the point is what they've been teaching is probably not right. And if they wrote books about it, they've taught classes about it. All these people. So it's ego? It's just the ego of scientists?

There is 100% some ego involved because there was a conversation that John Anthony West and Dr. Robert Shock had with an Egyptologist. And the Egyptologist, this was on a television show that was actually on TV.

It was on like NBC. It was called The Mystery of the Sphinx. It was actually narrated by Charlton Heston. And it was all about John Anthony West's work and about Graham Hancock's work and Robert Shock's work. And when they brought this geological evidence to these Egyptologists, they were openly mocking it, like laughing in this weird way. What evidence is there for this civilization back then? How much evidence do you think would be there?

You have to realize how long ago he's talking about. He's talking about maybe 10,500 BC. Maybe earlier. They think it might have all started somewhere around 30,000 years ago, which is just fucking bananas. Oh, there it is. Mystery of the Sphinx. Powerful.

Jamie finds it online. There they are. John Anthony West. He literally dedicated his life to absorbing as much information as possible about the nature of the construction, the time periods, the hieroglyphs. I mean, it's just an amazing amazing body of work that that guy put together powerful Charlton Heston look at him

he's fucking handsome I would hang out with him I don't care even if he was wacky we wanted to talk about guns all day I'd be like come on Charlton hell yeah you'd hang out with Charlton Heston who's gonna turn down Charlton Heston

do you remember when Charlton Heston had a gun on TV and he was like, they'll take my rifle away when they pry my cold, dead hands off of it. Yes, I do. Didn't he hold up a rifle when he said that? Or am I imagining this? I don't know, man. I think he probably did.

That is so crazy. Why not? Why not? Why not hold up your fucking massive symbol for your cock? Your Harry Potter? He said it. It's real. It's just as I imagined.

You will never take my cock from me. It's even better because it's a musket. Why not just hold up a rock? Just like a rock. I kill. A rock kills with rock. Yeah. People get fucking really passionate about that.

That, guns, circumcision. about that that guns circumcision i am i am all for responsible people being able to own guns but i'm also completely in agreement with people that say that there's too many people out there committing crimes with guns so how do you how do you how do you clean all that up i do not know well it's worth thinking about it is worth thinking about and it's worth talking about and people get upset when you start talking about it because they want it to be just no we have a right to have any kind of gun that we want but there i think they're missing um one of the real big problems which we're just weirdly seeing the very beginning of it dude and this ties in you know like elon musk just blasted a fucking car into space he blasted a tesla into space there's a tesla floating around the planet now and like

the way that connects with guns is um this is an example of technology falling into the hands of like a private company this isn't the government this is like elon fucking badass i go to burning man musk a dude who goes to burning man yeah shot a fucking tesla into space which is now i guess gonna rotate around the planet for some certain i don't know how long it's gonna be up there well i think it's going to mars oh that fucking thing's going to isn't it he's putting in orbit around mars it missed it's going past mars oh you fucked up el Elon. Well, guess what, man? That could have been my mom. My mom could have been on that plane.

You fucking asshole. You fucked up, Elon. You could have done better, dum-dum, with your rockets that can land and shooting a car into space. That is what happens when you take it out of the government's hands and put it in a genius's hands. But he's got a very unique ability to get things done sure well i mean that boring project that he's doing under la flamethrowers there's certain guys that are so smart that everybody goes just okay sure everybody just steps back and goes what do you want to do you want to dig holes through the bottom what if you went to the la city council meeting it's like look guys i can fix this

traffic thing what i'm gonna do is'm going to drill holes underneath the ground and I'm going to put your car on a high-speed sled. You don't even drive. It starts off like this. It's like, okay, guys. Remember the old how it used to be at the banks with the suction tubes where you take the tube and your mom puts the check in

and it gets sucked in? I'm going to do that with fucking buses under the city. What do you think? Write the check. They're not going to let you do it. But the thing where it connects to guns is it's like we're looking at the very, very, very beginning of private individuals having access to technology that normally was in

the hands of the state or governments. And this is the very crazy beginning of it. I didn't know he was shooting it at Mars for some reason I thought that fucking thing was gonna like rotate around the earth which made me worried that like we're gonna end up with like a ring billionaire cars because it would be like the coolest thing for billionaires to do shoot your car also a great way to dispose of bodies, because there's that astronaut in there, and I keep thinking, I bet that's one of Elon Musk's enemies. I bet that could be a body in there, and no one would ever fucking-

Could you imagine if it is? Imagine if it's just some asshole who robbed Elon Musk in a business deal. Yeah. So, shot the guy and have one of his flunky stuff him into a car yeah you never find just disappeared he just disappeared that could be fucking anybody man controlled to major tom and then also what's really badass about this is the flat earthers are now like really having problems because of the somebody sent me a video today showing me that it's fake somebody on on Twitter showed me that this is fake.

It's fake, bruh. It's fake, bruh. What is the, what's fake? Everything, the moon, the sky, the guy, the car, your mom. It's all fake. Your mom is flat. Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake. Your mom's flat as fuck, man.

Your mom's flatter than the planet Earth, bro. And the Earth's flat. But isn't this like the the what's crazy about the john anthony west stuff and the graham hancock stuff is like in the way that flat earth and a delusional insane way sort of forces you to imagine yourself existing in a universe that's completely different than what you thought and i think that's why it's really appealing like it's an appealing cool beautiful hilarious mythology which is like whoa how cool would that be if we really were on a flat earth and like if i just keep going in one direction hit the ice wall

hit the ice wall but over the fucking ice wall now we're in the land of the grays you know i'm no longer trapped i'm not it's like it's a freeing feeling because like even though it's not like i travel enough to feel stuck in fucking California which is an insane thing there's a little piece of us that knows we're never going to go into space we're never going to get past we're never going to how do you get off the map you know what I mean like there's something in a human that wants to get off the fucking map where you end up in a place that hasn't been charted yet and that's an experience that's gone basically like that I mean I imagine swaths of the Amazon perhaps or like someplace like someplace deep, deep in the Arctic, maybe in a cave or something.

But it used to be people just didn't fucking know. You could go off the map and you had no idea. And I think that must have been the biggest rush to be on a ship and looking at the maps that you guys have. And you're like, fuck, dude, this is we don't know where we're at here man like this is unknown uncharted terrain so flat earth is a really i'm not i don't believe the earth is flat i think it's more like a triangle shape but the i think it's a big dick it's a giant cosmic dick we're looking at the head of the dick and they just don't want us to know that because it's kind of embarrassing like the fucking earth looks like a big spinning dick it's all cgi bro it's shaped like a dick

it's just a big blue and white fucking dick green yeah why do people want that we want we always want things to be weird right we want like the flat earth one is my favorite one because it just would, could you imagine if they were right? Could you imagine if they were right? Imagine if the whole planet thought the world was round. And there's all this information that shows the world is round. Thousands of years ago, people were doing calculations or sticking sticks into the ground

at equal distance and measuring them and trying to see if there's curvature. There's always been people that suspected the earth was round way before they could ever figure it out they were trying to say well the moon is round the sun is round yeah this is round huh yeah probably this is round yeah you know i mean she would kind of think well how big is this fucking thing and then if you get up high enough you can kind of see like wow if it's just really big i see like a very slight curvature like Like maybe I do. Am I mind fucking myself? Right. And you just sat around and mind fucked yourself into thinking that it was all a scam.

Yeah. And that the world is actually flat. And then gravity isn't real either. Everybody's wrong. Yeah. Except a guy on YouTube. It's exciting. It's magnets that pull people into the earth.

Dude, your life gets so exciting at that point. Oh, yeah. Now you're you're you feel danger. Yes. You're risking your fucking ass by getting out there because the assholes are going to take you out. Dude, the Clinton Foundation finds out about your theories. Yeah. About the earth being flat.

You're fucked. They'll come get you. They're going to get you. So now you live. Now you get to live in maybe a not very happy world but an exciting world because you're seeing vans you're seeing fucking like create now this is by the way this is not to say that there isn't some massive huge unknown swath of reality that's sitting right in front of us at all times that's actively being hidden by the united states government the military who has the technology that they finally detected the thing and they

don't want us to know because they know if we know who the fuck knows what the reason is but they don't want us to know just yet i'm not saying that's not the case i'm just saying with flat earth in particular you're freaking me the fuck out man what do you know what do i know what do you know man the fucking problem is i can't talk about it yet. Oh my God. I stopped getting the check. They're like, you can't like, we'll tell you, but you can't completely reveal it. This seems like one of the videos that would play before you like were first loading up Half-Life 10. Yeah, right. This is the new Half-Life.

The government's hiding a dimension. Well, I mean, it did just come out. What? That they picked up some kind of UFO. The government did release UFO video. I always assume, and this is Captain Skeptical over here, I always assume if the government is ever saying

that there's UFOs or something really crazy like that, it's to hide some shit they're doing in, like, Guatemala. It's like they don't want anybody to be paying attention to something weird they're doing. So they'll just start talking about UFOs. Everybody's like, for real? Like, a real spaceship?

You got a video, man? I mean, it's a really huge question mark, which is, and there are people out there who, like, say they have answers to why. I mean, this idea is there's a gradual dissemination of information that's happening because they're priming the pump. And then it splits into two versions. One of the versions of the stories is, fuck, if you want to dominate a planet, get them kind of like subconsciously, subliminally primed for the idea that, you know, I think there's some really advanced technology out there and there's aliens riding around in it. And we've made contact.

We've made contact with the, they call themselves the Galactic Council of Celestial Elders. And they've been making contact with us for the last 50 years, and they've been instructing us in how to not only reveal themselves to you, but to let the technology come out in a way that's not going to be completely catastrophic for our society. They're peace-loving, wonderful beings, but we've decided to follow their instructions to the T, And so now they're ready to introduce themselves. And then suddenly an alien is on TV. And suddenly the government is using a completely made-up thing to try to dominate the planet by saying,

no, it's aliens. We found them. When in fact, it's Project Blue Beam, right? That's one of the ideas. The other idea is all that shit's true they there's a thing that happens when a planet reaches a certain level of technological sophistication that it gets contacted by some kind of order council federation of sentient technological technological civilizations and they sort of begin to like walk the planet through phases of getting that shit out into the world in a way that isn't going to fuck up their planet and

they know how to do it they have a system in place they don't come from the stars they're not something detectable by telescopes they're like in the DMT realm or they're like existing in some alternate dimension and technology is just one of the things that they use to communicate with us. I've been toying around with this idea for a long time, most of the time when I'm really high, that ideas are a life form, that they're not, it's not as simple as your creativity putting together some pieces that weren't there before. I think it's that, but I, it's not as simple as your creativity, putting together some pieces that weren't there before. I think it's that, but I think it's also you're tuning into something. You're tuning into some weird, like some of the ideas almost seem to write themselves. And it could be because

the subconscious process of your mind, but it also could be because that these, what ideas are and what just the concept of thinking is it's it's essentially the seeds of creation right everything that's ever existed on earth that humans have invented and built came from a mind it came from thinking how do i put together this house how do i put together this skyscraper how do i make a plane how do i make a tv how do I put together this skyscraper? How do I make a plane? How do I make a TV? How do I make a this? How do I make a that? Like we're vessels for ideas. We're like sitting there with all these neurons firing and electricity going left and right and all these areas of our brains lighting up. It's catching ideas. And when I'm super gone, especially on edibles, sometimes I

feel like I'm in a river of ideas and I I'm naked, and I can't hold the fish. They're just flying by me. I'm like, Jesus, just trying to get these ideas. That's right. It almost feels like these are not my ideas. These are ideas that I'm working hard. I've put in the effort to go out and fish for these ideas. Well, it's kind of like imagine if there was a technology that could like we send out these

signals into space um satellites with or with with fucking records in them but perhaps other civilizations are blasting the planet with ideas that are designed to be picked up by the scope of the human mind yeah and so what you're doing is you're actually like popping into an alien frequency which is filled with all these various ideas that are part of the cultivation of a planet to like try to get it to the point of like being able to make contact and they're just seeding seeding us with with i mean fuck when you read like john lilly and read about tesla and read about a lot of the great inventions that have happened. The people who had the epiphanous moment, it wasn't like they were scrunching

their fucking forehead. It was like the idea came to them in a vision. How many times do you hear over and over again? It came to me in a vision, a dream. Do you know that the very notion of science itself, uh, came to supposedly like the birth of science came from a dream that descartes had really yeah he had a dream that i forget exactly the term that he the way they use it i'm sure it was deciphered too right like what did he originally speak what language descartes speak fuck i don't know man like i think it was like classic nerd but he was um he was out like at war it was like campaigning he was french he's french he was uh i believe it was like he was on a military campaign in the army or something along those lines and he signed up for adventure to go off into the military

and during that time period he had a dream that something about to be able to harness nature it would be done in weights and measurements i forget exactly the term see if you can find the term the that was essentially what people say. This is really when you talk about the very birth of like the earliest you could trace back the idea of modern science. Like the ethics and the ideas, the concepts of modern science. Well, don't you. Came from a dream. It goes. I mean, before Descartes, we're dealing with like, it gets really interesting because you're dealing with the alchemists like John D who were, who were,

I mean, John D was someone who was, who's John D. John D is this like, you know, Jason Louv, you know, that is no, he's an author.

He just wrote this fucking bad-ass book on John D. Who's this? One of those people kind of like Crowley who had this huge impact on society, but we don't really know a lot. We, most people don't know the fuck he was right but you've heard of like uh the enochian tablets or like the enochian angels basically john d was like an alchemist who was working with queen elizabeth to try to turn lead into gold which was a you know a

big fucking pursuit back then which is like shit if we could turn if we can transmute metals into gold it's like i mean yeah they all tried to do that right was that when they first started recognizing elements like when did they first start recognizing elements um i i don't i i don't probably that it must be through alchemy because they were like trying to break things down to their fundamental they're trying to break things down to like their fundamental components how many movies are about that someone trying to make gold Well, I mean it's the it's one of the great pursuits Yeah, and it's actually that's that there's it's what we're still doing only we're not trying to turn lead into gold

We're trying to turn lead into a thinking machine That's what we're doing now because better than turning Matter into gold if you can turn matter into a fucking thing that is thinking and sentient then it can figure out a turn lead into gold by its advanced ability to process data and if you were an alien race you would be concerned about nuclear weapons for sure but you would really be concerned about artificial life sure what do you what do you assholes about to hit the switch on yeah have you thought this through? We're like those minions in Despicable Me where we're just wrecking shit and eating nails. We're just trying things, sticking electrical sockets in our heads. Fuck yeah.

Dude. Can you imagine if beings in the DMT realm decided to start setting off nuclear explosions? I mean, maybe that's what an earthquake is. Maybe when we have an earthquake, it's like a nuclear test in another dimension shaking our planet. Yeah, I said it. No, I don't fucking believe it. I can already hear the, like, people being like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? June 8th, 1637, Descartes codifies scientific method.

Wow, interesting. He outlines his rules for understanding the natural world through reason and skepticism, forming the foundation of the scientific method still in use today. There's a term that he had that he came up with, like, in a dream. See if you can find that,

because there was, like, a phrase that he said, obviously translated from French I there's the reason I it's the Descartes fucking bugs me on that one no it's not I think therefore I am but that was obviously an interesting one he liked to do shit like and I could be wrong about this but I clearly remember reading about this he was like what do you call it a mechanist or like he believed that animals were just machines, basically. And so like he would like, and Jamie, if you could look this up so I don't get assuaged with people being like, that's a different person. But apparently he would do shit like hold a dog's beating heart in his hand while it died.

Oh, my God. And he said things like people who are afraid to kick dogs aren't really my students because they know look look that up jimmy you sure that's not like propaganda if there was like an infowars.com back then like what's going on here this is why i'm covering it with like i'm not saying he's out there kicking dogs i think he was kicking dogs i think the cart like what i just found is pretty rough maybe they all kicked dogs back then in a nutshell frank philosopher renee de karts didn't believe animals had souls to test his theory I think Descartes liked to kick... What I just found is pretty rough. Maybe they all kicked dogs back then. In a nutshell, Frank philosopher René Descartes didn't believe animals had souls.

To test his theory, he nailed his wife's dog to a board and chopped it open while the poor thing was still alive. Fun guy. Fun guy. Creator of science was nailing dogs to fucking boards.

Where'd you read this? How do we know this is real? It's on fuckdescartes.com. Knowledge nuts? Knowledge nuts. I hope you really aredecard.com Knowledge nuts. Knowledge nuts. I hope you really are knowledge nuts. I'm nuts for knowledge. Look at that guy's face, dude.

That guy definitely looks like he fucking nailed dogs to boards. Look at that fucking face. Look at it. Look at it squirm. The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as the greatest virtues. That's what he said after he cut open the cat. Dude, so that's like the father of science is also like, that's Jeffrey Dahmer level shit too.

Like he was not. I think people did a lot of that back then. Nailing dogs to boards? I just think the value of life was severely diminished. I think back then the 1600s people were dying left and right of everything. Yeah. You got a cold, dead. Break your leg, dead.

Get gored by a bull, dead. Everything, dead. Oh, you got an infection, dead. You got the flu, probably dead. But that's definitely in Europe. Like in India, I'm not saying in India it was like a utopia and everyone was sweet to animals. But in Buddhism, it was a lot more compassionate. Like the.

That's true. Why do you think that happened? Why does like, like Thailand and places that are Buddhist places generally, I mean, obviously there's violence everywhere, but generally more of a peaceful vibe, right? Like Buddhist nations and Buddhist kind of a little bit more, obviously flaws with everything. Yes. Anything involving people, you're going to have outliers. Like Buddhist nations and Buddhist, a little bit more, obviously, flaws with everything. Yes. Anything involving people, you're going to have outliers.

But over and all, like one of the things that my friend was telling me about Thailand, he was like, dude, there's no crime over there. He's like, you just go over there. He's like, everybody, it's like real easy, real easy to get along with everybody. It's like, it's super safe. Nobody gets robbed. Yeah. It's really rare. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

I don't understand why that way of thinking emerged in the East and that connection with the self emerged in the East versus what happened in the West, which was basically a decimation of a previous religion. Right. Paganism, whatever you want to call it, earth-based religion, connection with life and nature. What's really interesting to me about that is that the DNA of paganism is still in the system. It's almost like we absorbed it. Yeah.

Or I say we. I mean, Christians, you know, Christian nation. Well, look at that. I guess we're a Christian nation. This is, I'm sure we've talked about this in the podcast, but it's something I marvel over all the time. I think about it a lot, which is the Catholic Mass. It's when you look at the Catholic Mass and you look at the New Testament, the Last Supper,

and you look at, you realize like in the fucking synoptic Gospels and in any of the Gospels, there is nowhere that Jesus is saying, There is nowhere that Jesus is saying, what you do is take a piece of bread and utter these prayers over it to create my flesh that then you eat. It's not there. The ritual isn't there. But the interpretation of that has turned into what is called high magic. what is called high magic it's called like it's a ceremonial magic where you're transforming bread into the flesh of a sacrificed god and people do a father god so that my sins could be purified. That's not magic.

When did that originate? The sacrament? Well, I've read that it has something to do with, it goes back to Egypt, that it's some kind of high magic Egyptian ritual. It was a mushroom. Or it was a mushroom. They probably had a big bag of mushrooms and everybody came up and they put it on your tongue and they said, good luck. Yeah, I know. Yeah, this is the flesh.

See you on the other side. Well, I mean, they said, yeah, they said, you know, this is the flesh of God, eat this and you'll remember who you truly are. And they gave you this psychedelic and you took it and you merged back into the divine and realized your true identity so that for the rest of the week, you were able to hang out with people and not be a complete asshole because you know, you share the same soul and that you're basically made of love as opposed to thinking that you and I are separate and that we're mostly sinful, evil things whose flesh is impure.

I mean, that's another fucking sweet gift that came from fundamentalist Christianity is the concept that our bodies are evil. We can't be naked around each other even now. Like, you can't take your clothes off around people without seeming completely insane. If you go outside in your fundamental body that you were born into the universe with, you will get arrested. Like, you can't walk around as you are. You have to cover it in clothes or you're considered to be a fucking pervert nudist. You're a psycho so yeah the fundamental vehicle that we our soul rides around in is considered profane to to to dude and like

you see a fucking dick when you're like walking down the street some dude decided you're like oh fucking well you can see a dick accidentally at the bathroom and it doesn't bother you doesn't bother you because in the bathroom it's okay for a moment to profane the world with your fucking dick. So it's like that's the – when you start really looking at all the traces of not just pagan culture but just insanity from a fundamentalist perspective of the universe that has its roots in what appears to be a misunderstanding of a really beautiful story, then it's like mind-boggling. Yeah, not just a misunderstanding, but probably a conscious misrepresentation of the original story that's molded to suit whoever's needs is in charge at the moment. That's right. Yeah.

And people, dude, I'll tell you, man, Catholics, they feel guilty. Dude, I'm Catholic. You still probably feel a little bit of it. Probably a little bit. Dude, I was going to. I mean, I'm not Catholic, really, but I was when I was in first grade. I have this Alistair Crowley poster I was going to bring to you. Oh, wow.

1,079. Yeah. Yeah. That was the year. The year. That's a weird sounding name a year rather 1079 it feels like i'm saying something wrong yeah yeah wow that's amazing man yeah 1079 so this is way after jesus yeah almost a thousand years yeah they started doing the

magical ritual and and so it's like to say that this is connected to christianity is really it's like actually no it's christianity is a song and this is a dance people decided to do to it but to say you know what i mean to say that it's like that it has anything to do with jesus yeah is is not true unless you're going to say that jesus transmitted the data after his death into some kind of mystic or seer who had the vision of this now i'm not knocking the fucking catholic mass i think it's beautiful but let's just admit what it is magic it's ritual magic you're doing ritual magic and you're doing something that's been going on for a very long time probably before 1079 that dude wasn't just like sitting around i'm like hey i got an idea

let's start saying prayer over the bread and the bread's going to turn into flesh. It was more like, hey, you know, we've been meeting, doing these rituals secretly. Why don't we just incorporate the story of Christianity into this ritual that we've been doing for a very long time to sort of purify ourselves by connecting to the universe and acknowledging the fact that existence itself is predicated on devouring the flesh of some other being. We're always in the process of inhaling the universe, exhaling the universe, eating each other. The universe is eating itself. And so the Mass is this ritualized version of like,

behold, we're eating the flesh of God in everything we do. And there's something really beautiful about that. I mean, there's no getting around life eats life. Even the various factions of people on the left and the right and people that are animal rights activists versus people that are butchers, you're all eating something that's alive. I mean, you can make the distinction that the plants aren't suffering like the animals do, and that's why it's okay. I agree with you for the most part. It's probably a less extreme form of suffering, but it also might just be a completely

misunderstood life form. like they're well they're finding out so much about plant communication and i've read so many things about that i hesitate to talk about it because i really want to have all my t's sliced and you know eyes dotted because it's such a complex issue but it appears that they communicate it appears that there's almost like uh that they're using the soil and the fungus in the soil and the mycelium. They all have this weird ecosystem. It's not just like one plant by itself in the dirt. No, there's a network that they're connected to. Jamie, there's this thing I've just, this guy gave me this thing called a midi sprout, which is, it picks up, I guess guess the bioelectricity of plants or anything for that

matter but plants i've got it you stick it on your plant and it goes into like your whatever your music system is and it translates it into midi so you can tran turn turn the electricity of your plant into music what yeah it's cool yeah Yeah, it's fucking cool. Yeah. What? Yeah. That sound is the sound that's coming from a tree.

Well, it's the electricity of the tree being translated into MIDI, which is then being translated into sound. So it's a way to convert the data into music. It's like you're converting the bioelectricity into, it's not like that's the sound of a plant. It's not making celestial noises. That's just sending energy and creating MIDI, which is then being translated into the sound. So it's a way to observe the data. Instead of looking at it, I guess, on an oscilloscope or whatever you would look at that with,

it's turning it into audio. So you can hear the pulsating kind of like rhythmic flow. So that's measuring electrical currents in the plant that's it so there's that much of a variation that it's like going up and down all the time like that yeah yeah it i mean i don't know the the total math behind it but i've got one on my um on a plan in my studio here's my take on it the most potent psychedelic experience is dmt dmt exists in so many different plants it's in thousands of plants they have they have no idea why yeah but it's in them and if it wasn't

for monoamines some monoamines oxidase yeah right monoamine oxidase uh mao which is what mao inhibitors are if it wasn't for that that we have this in our body we would be tripping on salad you'd be tripping on grass. You'd eat certain grasses. You'd be blasted off to the center of the universe. You know, for some sheep, DMT is poison. Like they get a hold of plants that have DMT, they fall over stiff as the legs and the legs start bucking up in the air.

That's like your canary in the coal mine. You take sheep out into the nature and when they start dying, that's what you eat. I think it's phalaris grass in particular. I think there's a type of grass. Jamie, see if you can find that. Grass that kills sheep. But it's a grass that's particularly rich. Yeah, phalaris.

Damn, how good is the memory on the kid, even though he's high. Phalaris staggers. Yeah. That induce phalaris staggers in sheep. Portions of the lower brain as seen to be damaged and, oddly enough, tinted blue. Their responsible agents are the alkaloids contained in the various failing species. There are whispered rumors that...

There are whispered fucking rumors? That's a DMT website, too, though. Whispered rumors. These goddamn hippies. Whispered rumors. Have you heard? Looking for science. Not looking for wispy. Whisors. These goddamn hippies. Looking for science, not looking for wispy.

Whispered Rumors. Fucking hippies. The Divine Moment of Truth. Is that the one that I'm in? There's one of those Spongle made one where they used a rant of me with Jim Brewer. That's cool. I was barbecued. I barely remember what I said, but it was me

and Brewer were high on pot lollipops. Oh, Jesus. And they took that and took part of it and made it this really dope music. And with a video to it, I don't know if that's their video, if they made that video. It looks great. Whoever does it looks oddly similar. Like a toned down, like a pencil drawing of what you see when you do DMT.

Yeah, man. Yeah, it's a sound. That's beautiful. Ah, the good old days, honcho. Weren't those the good old days? Now we don't do it anymore, though, because it's illegal. Yeah, why would we? Well, it's illegal. There's no need.

And also, once you've been there, it's not like you have to keep going back. Yeah, enough's enough. I don't need these fucking aliens. You know what I need to do right now? Get a better accountant. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's right.

I'm going to need tax breaks. You know, when there's some fucking great accountants in the DMT realm, that's when I'll start doing it again. There are accountants of your consciousness. They look at you and go, no, no, no. It's the best. Yeah, that's pretty. They do that to you.

Did you get a finger waggle at you yeah yeah like i don't know and it was like when i had a wacky thought like i had a bad thought a thought went awry and i was on the wrong page it was like oh that's cool yeah i love that i love the in different psychedelic states i love how you witness how your consciousness is forming your reality in the most extreme way not as though like you're producing matter with your thoughts or anything like that but you can watch this undulation or this flow going from when you're getting negative and dark uh and it's interesting how different psychedelics portray this phenomena. But so like on acid, I might see, depending if I'm taking a high enough dose,

you start seeing like the faces and the stucco of your ceiling, you know. And it's like when you start getting really depressive or scared, then the faces start doing like, like hissing at you and they sink in and they, or even when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, similar things happens as you're just watching the way that your projection that's coming from the incessant flow of thoughts in your mind is reflecting onto reality itself. And it's a constant like shifting of light that sometimes is like looking into the deepest layers of hell but then sometimes You see the most beautiful sweet incredible things because

You're not being freaked out by the flow of thoughts in your mind. That's the number one trick You know, this is why now in my old age. I really do understand why a good practice, meditation, chanting, whatever it may be, pairs so nicely with psychedelics. Because if you have one without the other in the time before you take the psychedelic you know not to sound like an old fucking guy like god you gotta get do you know meditate and then take i'm but it does help a lot well it's there's a weird way that we we want to dismiss it because it seems almost like a pompous thing to ever say you meditate or you encourage people to meditate. It's like the same as I always have a cringy thing when I tell people to do yoga.

Like, oh my God, I'm going to say this again. But I really mean it. Like, I feel like yoga is one of the very best things that will pair with cannabis use and with psychedelics. Sure. Because I think it alleviates a lot. You know, another thing that's really good is running. And I think both those things, they alleviate a certain amount of anxiety. And they create, there's a blood flow through that.

Yes. When you're pumping hard up a hill and you're running and huffing and puffing and you make it and you check your pulse and you recover quick and you go and do another hill run, there's a stimulation of your body because it's being forced to work hard that's euphoric. And after it's over, your brain's flooded with all these wonderful chemicals. You feel good. You feel friendly. And I think that paired with psychedelic experiences,

I think exercise is one of the most overlooked. So important. And it doesn't matter what style, like what you enjoy doing, but just got to get that blood going. You got to do something. Whether it's take a spin class or a yoga class or go for a good hike, do something where you're fucking huffing and puffing and you're really getting in some work. You're really sweating and your body will just feel better. Well, this is what you just said exactly applies to meditation. And also you're fucking right.

The problem with even talking about it is you sound virtue signally and pompous. And it says, but, but it's true. And when you hear Ram Dass talk about meditation, he will say, don't meditate when you want to meditate. Like, don't, don't even like, if it seems like something that appeals to you, give it a shot. But the definition of it itself, what's funny is when you think about meditation, your mind will summon up something that you think meditation looks like. So you think, ah, it means like sitting down on a cushion with some fucking candles or it means like whatever it is that your mind summons up and usually it's pretty austere and usually it's pretty requires like a temple or a space in your

house or it's insane outfit an outfit you need a robe exactly you need some kind of like shit that you're wearing so there's right because your mind is trying to push it off it's trying to like your mind it is one of its functions it seems to like not want you to sit still for a moment and watch but what you just said about exercising is true for meditation it's like there's so many different versions of it and i would argue running is a meditation working out is a meditation and that to think that it's there's a separation there there really isn't no i don't think there is either i always just said that about martial arts that i believe that martial

arts were a moving form of meditation but that doesn't mean like stationary meditation isn't different and give you uh another very valuable thing and a different a different valuable thing that's right yeah well it gives you the ability to i was just reading there's a great book i'm reading by pima children called the wisdom of no escape and uh she talks about how when people start meditating they think i'm i'm doing this because i want to be a better person and she said that's actually an aggression against the self that you are right now to be like yeah yeah, that you're actually being like aggressive to your own self. She said, meditation is not so that we become a better person. It's so that we're able to be who we are in the moment fully and to begin to experience fully what it is that's happening

inside of us. Because for a lot of people people what's going down is that there is a dude this reminds me i just watched the texas fucking chainsaw massacre it's probably like the 16th time i've seen it but like i watched it and like man i i had some a very strong mentee and like i was watching it and was like oh my god this is unbearable like i can't deal with it i'm gonna go crazy watching this thing like the woman who by the end is all bug-eyed and covered in blood and like she's lost her mind because these texas cannibals have like driven her insane i'm feeling like that but then i realized like oh my god that woman running from leatherface and the whole family freaking out and screaming how many people are god that woman running from leather face and the whole family freaking out and

screaming how many people are secretly that woman inside of themselves constantly running in terror from parts of themselves that they can't deal with or acknowledge or look at and so so meditation is kind of like going into yourself to that creepy fucking ranch house in the middle of nowhere in your heart and then exploring the places that you don't want to go into them up you know what man it's as it's feeling them it's instead of cleaning or fixing or repairing it's going in there and feeling the whatever it is for a lot lot of people, it's just grief, pain, sorrow, regret. Regret. You know, and it's going in there and not being like, I'm going to fix what this thing that I've been trying not to

feel by distracting myself with an incessant flow of thoughts right and that that is that is when you start lightening up a little bit because really all you got to do is feel is that I think the maps people say feeling is healing have you ever heard that no but I think i have but i think it was like a kid show that's a great kid show kids shows say some good shit sometimes yeah they do man some of them are on the ball yeah yeah you know there's some kids movies that are oddly psychedelic dude are you like kids are psychedelic like to to appeal to a child it's like you do have to create some crazy shit you know like what kids show isn't find me a kid show that isn't the most

psychedelic thing including mr rogers like mr rogers is like that's some trippy shit going down there man well trippy it's funny that you bring up Mr. Rogers because here's one of the things that I was going to say when we were talking about gun control and violence and all the different issues in this world. One thing that we don't concentrate on is promoting being nicer. Yeah.

Like no government official does that. Presidents don't do that. They don't get on TV. They sort of say it. We need to work together. But they don't ever say, folks, we just got to figure out how to be nice to each other. That's right. Like we're not in conflict anymore, but we're designed for conflict.

And here's how you get rid of that. Get a fucking heavy bag. Go run hills. Go to yoga class. Eat better. Go get a fucking heavy bag, go run hills, go to yoga class, eat better, stop drinking so much coffee or alcohol or sugar, whatever your vice is that's fucking with your body. Get your body in order and get your mind in order and just be nicer to each other. That would fix almost everything. If people just overall decided, you know what, male, female, whatever the fuck,

whoever you're talking to, just, just, let's just be nicer to each other. Yeah. Let's just, everybody do this. Can we all just work on this? No one's saying work on this. Like there's no government officials. There's no big state of the union address and go, ladies and gentlemen, our problems that we have with each other are ridiculous. We're family here. Yeah. We're brothers and sisters. Yes. And we're all immigrants. Every single one of us is an immigrant. I'm not saying we should let everybody in, but whoever's here, you made it, bitch. You made it. As long as you're not a goddamn criminal, you made it.

We're going to suck it up for tax dollars. Get taxes from them. Also, don't forget we're all immigrants coming from infinity, too. Exactly. We're all immigrants who've come into this dimension and have complete amnesia as to what was going on for the last 13.6 out of a vagina point yeah all of a sudden you're american yeah yeah that's it so we're all immigrants and and and i did you hear about this i'm sorry to interrupt you but i have to tell you this did you hear about this

canadian couple there's a gay couple that uh had twins and they did it through a surrogate and they they mixed up their jizz so that no one knew whose jizz was whose. Well, one guy's an American citizen and one guy's not. So the kids were born and they did a DNA test on the kids because

they wanted to find out whether or not one of those kids was a dirty Canadian. Turns out one of them is! Trying to sneak over our borders at one day old. Fuck off! So they sent that little fucking terrorist back to Canada. Gay couple married in Canada

sues US government for denying citizen to the child. Hey, assholes, let these fucking people come back. Jesus Christ. But you gotta understand, man, people like Jeff Sessions see a picture like that and they feel like they're looking at somebody taking a dump on a crucifix. Like for a lot of these people, they can't handle the idea of gay people having kids.

It's not like they're worried about citizenship. It's like a lot of these gnarled fucks who are running things, they're terrified of gay people. You know, that's it's I'm sure that whoever made that decision, it wasn't anything to do with like, oh, this is citizenship laws. It was like, hey, man, we're not going to have this futuristic shit where we're doing some kind of jizz combos here. We're not doing jizz combos.

I think they just used like one of those little things you stir with. You know, like if you want to make a butter coffee, hit the little blender. You mean a whisk, an electric whisk like you use for batter? That's what they do. They jizz into like a mixing jug. They use like smoothie machines, man. Are you sure? Positive.

A buddy of mine was telling me today about, he was in Berlin, and he went to this club, and they had three different floors of this club. Like, one floor was like a hardcore punk scene or electronic scene or something like that. And then below it was a hardcore gay club. I've heard of this club. and then below it was a hardcore gay club. I've heard of this club. And this hardcore gay club, they would have shit night where they would shit into Tupperware and seal it up and bring it in there.

They would jizz all over the stage, and they would dive on the jizz like a slip and slide and slide around on each other's jizz. They'd piss on each other. And this is just tough. Wait, I get the jizz and the piss. Do you? But help me understand the shit the tupperware shit

thing like the problem is i opened up with the tupperware shit i went too hard off the gate i should have i should have dialed i should i should have started with jizz on the deck yeah and then they slip and slide then work their way up to piss on each other and then these crazy motherfuckers started bringing in shit that's what i should have done. But what I don't understand is, like, the slip and slide. It's like, yeah, you know, it's like a fucking fun night. You're, like, enjoying, like, some physical fun with your pals. But, like, why are you bringing in, like, shit and Tupperware? Like, what's the...

They're, like, smelling shit. They're, like, smelling each other's shit. So you're just like, hey, take a whiff of this great shit I had the other day. Well, do you know how some guys like the smell of their woman's vagina? They want to get in there and smell it. Yeah. You know? I wonder how much that is connected because that's where you put your dick.

I wonder if you put your dick in butts all the time, you'd be like, I want to smell your shit. Oh, like it's associated with like, it reminds you of fucking or something. Mike, this is what I want you to do. I want you to shit a Tupperware and bring it over. Are you serious? I want you to shit in that thing and bring it over and don't wipe your ass. Tupperware?

Like, why not foil? Hmm. Who knows, man? I mean, you'd have to be really fucked up to want to smell someone's shit that bad. Yeah. Smell each other's shit. Maybe it's just like a naughty thing

like we're being naughty smell my shit yeah or i'm transporting shit like you're like i'm i'm bringing shit somewhere like i'm bringing a lunch to this place by the way i've heard of this club man my friend was telling me about this club i don't know if it's the same club i think it is so i've been hearing all this shit about how badass berlin is man that it's just like crazy over there and that this one club my friend was telling me she went to everyone stands in line there's no vips everyone stands in line like part of the experience of the thing is you stand in line for like a long time and there's one bouncer he's giant he's like this giant, scary German guy. I think he's got like a glass eye or something.

Oh, Jesus. And he scans you. So you stand in front of him and he looks at you and like does some kind of soul scan. And if he decides you're ready to experience the psychic effects of witnessing dudes sliding through cum. the psychic effects of witnessing dudes sliding through cum. Because, you know, for some people, because it's not as though he's trying to, like, he's obviously trying to keep it cool in there,

but he's also trying to keep people from losing their minds. Because, like, the one wrong person goes into the sub-basement and sees a bunch of people huffing Tupperware shit and doing, like, you know what I mean? And sliding through jizz. You know, that could push you over the line. That could lead you straight to fucking mail bomb land. You could just end up in a cabin building devices of destruction. That's probably what happened to Kaczynski.

If you took any of the people from the Trumpy Bear commercial and put them in that gay club while those guys are smelling each other's shit and Tupperwares and jizzing on the floor and pissing on each other, if they just wandered into there accidentally? They'd all start fucking. Probably. Have you seen that video? The Trumpy Bear video? I put it on my Instagram last night.

I was watching TV and this fucking thing came on. And it's like a Tim and Eric sketch. What is it? It's like a... It's a real commercial for a real stuffed animal. Look at this. The Trumpy Bear. No, no, you gotta see the video though. Can you play the video? Oh, just go to my Instagram. Wow, that's cool.

I put the video up on my Instagram. Oh, that's it in the upper corner. Make that larger. And give me some volume. It's just two payments. Listen to this. The great American grizzly introducing the original Trumpy bear. This is real. The fearless, super plush American. Now tell me this doesn't seem like a Tim and Eric sketch. Watch. Watch how this goes on. Flag day. Just find the secret zipper and pull out the American flag from your blanket.

Then wrap yourself in the red, white, and blue for comfort and warmth. I'm getting one of these. It gets crazier. Watch. And on any American holiday. God bless America. God bless Trumpy Bear. It gets crazier. Watch. God bless America. And God bless Trumpy Bear.

Trumpy Bear sits proudly at the front of the motorcycle for all the world to see. And loves to cruise with his brother. I'm a former Marine. And I'm proud to have Trumpy Bear ride by my side. Fuck yeah. Once a Marine, always a Marine. This is a goddamn Tim and Eric sketch. Look at this. When I ride with Trumpy Bear, he makes my golf game great again.

Thank you, Trumpy Bear. Trumpy Bear can pop up anywhere. Simply style his trademark hair and place him in his favorite chair. I love it. Even the toughest guys will love Trumpy Bear. Even the toughest guys will love Trumpy Bear. Business is great. When business is great, I am great.

I love you, Trumpy Bear. I am an army veteran. I am proud to own the Trumpy Bear, and I will always be proud to be an American. Wait, hold on. That guy, hold on, hold on. This is fake. Did you see that guy's name is Waraholic? That's Frank. Back up.

That's Frank Waraholic, like an alcoholic for war? Go back. Corporal Frank Waraholic? That's a gag. This thing's an alcoholic for war. Go back. Corporal Frank Warholic. That's a gag. This thing's a gag, dude. But it's on the radio. Or it's on TV, rather.

It's kind of a gag. I looked it up last night. It is for sale. It is a real product. It's a real product. So this is a gag. It's a comedy sketch. I kind of knew it had to be. There's no way it could be that bad.

Oh, my God. Do you know what it is? They've made a comedy sketch that's comedy for people like anybody who's paying attention, but for people so dumb that they don't realize it's a comedy sketch, and they think the way the people in the video think. Yeah. It's like a honeypot for dum-dums. Yeah, it's brilliant because on one level, it's like a really funny sketch.

On the other level, it's just like people are like, God damn, I've always wanted a Trumpy bear. So they make this bear. They sell this bear. They pretend that they're all patriotic. And they just made the dump. Of course it is. What's wrong with me?

I am the storm. Of course it's fake. That's pretty subtle. But this is the world we're living in right now. I believed it was real. Because it is a real product. But when the lady pulled out her flag, I got a little suspicious.

And then the other guy says, once a Marine, always a Marine. I'm like, this is a Tim and Eric sketch. It's pretty subtle, man. Like, it definitely, I've seen commercials that shitty for sure. Trumpy Bear official. There he is.

Once a Marine, always a Marine. Look at my boot. It's dirty because I work. What do you think? We make really shitty predictions whenever I come on your show about what's going to happen usually. But what do you think is going to happen with Mueller and Trump? I have zero idea. I'm fascinated by the whole process.

I'm fascinated by his disdain for the intelligence community. That, to me, seems to be one of the craziest things the president's ever done, is literally have beef with the FBI to the point where the FBI foils a terrorist attack in San Francisco, and the president doesn't even mention it on TV. He doesn't praise them. He doesn't make a big deal about how good our government is, that we've been able to stop these terrorists, and this is one of the reasons why I wanted to build this wall in the first place and tighten up

illegal immigration. This is an opportunity to prove his point. And he doesn't talk about it. Because he's got a beef. He's got beef with the FBI. Dude, do you remember when that FBI agent came to your show? Do you remember that? Yeah. That was one of the weirdest... That was like really weird why was it weird because the dude like the way he did it was

perfect because he got like it made my heart leap because he's like he like he like he had his hand on my arm and like a cop style you know what i mean like and then he like lifted his shirt up to show his fbi badge and i'm like well i don't know exactly what it was, but I mean, I could probably imagine a few things you might be arresting me for. But then he was like, really cool. And he's like, listens to your podcast. And he's like, you know, he was just being really awesome. Listen, man, you need those people.

And everybody doesn't think they need those people. You have an unrealistic view of the world. You need sheepdog. You need them. You need people to watch the criminals. You need people to be able to solve crimes. You need people to be able to stop terrorist attacks like they did in San Francisco.

You need them. Right. Everybody thinks they don't need them. Look, I wish we didn't need them. I wish we had a perfect relationship with all the other nations and everybody just decided to work together for the survival of the species as a whole and we weren't so concentrating on uh owning resources taking over governments and controlling parts of the world that have you know things that we're

trying to steal or get or buy but it is so as long as it is you're gonna need the fbi you're gonna need intelligence community you're gonna need the army you're as it is, you're going to need the FBI. You're going to need intelligence community. You're going to need the Army. You're going to need the Navy. You're going to need the Marines. You're going to need the Air Force. But don't the FBI, they police the police. Like the FBI or the police is police.

And there's a checks and balance system that's been proven. Now, I don't agree with this because I think this is a crazy reason to fire a guy, especially a guy who's a war hero. But General Petraeus, his whole thing, he got busted because the FBI was looking into something. The FBI was looking into something and got the head of the CIA in trouble. So they go after each other. Wow. So there's kind of a competitive thing, apparently.

Yeah, sometimes they don't get along. Sometimes the CIA and the FBI, they don't see eye to eye on on certain things but this one was a weird one because it was about an affair it's like of all the shit that he did bad like he had an affair like this guy's out there right smashing worlds with these what is the mother of all bombs what the fuck he didn't launch that one that was after his time but they launched all kinds of crazy bombs over there. Right. I mean, they're just shooting drones and missiles. That's all good.

I heard you put your penis inside the wrong person. Dude, that's crazy. Oh, we're going to investigate where your penis has been, you dirty, dirty boy. In between killing strangers, you're out there putting your penis in the wrong person. We can take all the accidental drone deaths you got for us. But what we can't take is you shooting your dirty, dirty semen inside another woman. You will only express love for one woman in this world. That's it.

You can only feel love for one person at a time. And you're definitely not going to put that general cock in anyone else but lydia petraeus your wife you swore an oath sir so an earth of affection so fucked up it's so sad it's so stupid it's scary like what the guy didn't want to fuck his wife anymore that's a problem between them yeah this has nothing to do with us nothing is. Is he still a good general? Nothing. Yeah. It's terrifying. I mean, that's really where we enter into the land of absurdity.

Well, this is where it got really absurd. Like, you know, people that think that there's some grand scheme to protect people and protect generals. Dude, there's video of him when he was walking from City College in New York where he was teaching, and he'd have to walk down the street to where he was going, and the students were surrounding him, screaming at him, calling him a war criminal. And they did it constantly. He was teaching there.

Wow. They would follow him, and they're filming him. So the guys with the cameras are filming him, and then people around him are like, fuck you, fuck you. And he's on his own, dude. He's helpless. Wow.

If they just jump him, they just jump him. No one's stopping them. I thought people like that had, eternal guards or something turns out nope turns out nope no dude they cast that guy aside i mean i don't know if they've rectified the situation after that day but that day he's by himself look at this turn it up give me some volume on this is crazy this is crazy your blood all over you I can smell you hey this hyperbole is not necessary holy shit It's crazy to imagine that guy sexting. Sext the fuck out of some lady.

Ooh, yeah, like a missile. Send it at home. Here's a bunker buster. I bet when he comes, he whispers in her ear, boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. And he curls up.

Boom. Boom. Fuck, man. Letter C. Boom. Boom. Oh. Boom. Fuck, man. Letter C. Boom. Boom. Yeah. So what do you think? But they left that guy alone.

That's what's interesting, man. You would think that the amount of influence that guy had, I mean, that guy was one of the top generals, if not the top general in the country, right? Wasn't he? Yeah. I mean, he was a huge war hero. There's been two instances of shit like that happening where um the other one was the michael hastings one do you remember that one vaguely this is a fascinating one if you really want to fire up your conspiracy theory

really want to turn that bitch to nine yeah michael hastings was a journalist who uh was embedded i believe it was in in Iraq. It might have been in Afghanistan, but he was embedded in the Middle East somewhere and something happened. Oh, that volcano erupted. Remember when that volcano erupted and they canceled all air flight for a long time? He was trapped over there with that and they got way too comfortable with him. And so they started talking around this journalist the way they always talk. And he was joking around about Obama and making fun of Obama. And they said a bunch of shit they probably shouldn't have said.

But that's just what fucking soldiers say when they're over there risking their goddamn lives for something they probably don't even understand. You would want them to believe this is all for a good cause. You would want them to believe everything that their general tells them. to believe this is all for a good cause. Right. You would want them to believe everything that their general tells them. Sure. And if they got to fucking crack some jokes at the president's expense to alleviate a little stress while we're out there killing strangers.

Yeah. No. Intolerable. Intolerable. Intolerable. You were mocking the leader of the free world while you're out there killing strangers. You can't do that. Wow.

So they made this guy resign. So here's where it gets crazy. Michael Hastings starts telling everybody look my life is in danger he's like people are threatening my life on a daily basis if anything happens to me i did not commit suicide cut to him driving down i think it was sunset yeah car going uncontrollably fast slamming into a tree, the car exploding, the engine flying from the car. Yeah. He's dead as fuck.

They find amphetamines in his system, but that's Adderall, because that's what all journalists are on. They're all on Adderall. Right. So they tried to say, oh, the guy was on methamphetamines when he drove into a tree. Case solved. Classic. Good job, Dick Tracy.

Yeah. Let's just forget about it. We connected the dots. It was quite easy. Meanwhile, there's people that have said with absolute certainty that with today's cars, it is incredibly possible, absolutely credibly possible to control the car from a remote place and make the car do what you want it. Dude, definitely.

Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. But we, I mean, this is, I love this line of this direction we're going in here, man, the car do what you want it dude definitely definitely definitely definitely but we i mean this is i love this line of this direction we're going in here man because you you it's great because it's like this to me where it gets really remember that thing that people would always say the government is always what is it five years ahead seven years ahead remember it i have a tattoo in my ass.

Did you get it at that club in Berlin? You got to know the government's ahead, bro. But it's true. It's true. All that money that they have. So where it gets really interesting is when you start thinking about what that means in relation to like computer intelligence and AI. in relation to like computer intelligence and AI and you start realizing like man whatever the shit is that they have access to at this point compared to what we think they have access to is so powerful right and so dangerous that anybody who they want to take out anybody they want to take out they can take out.

That's a problem. It's a problem. That's a problem having anybody have that much power, especially over the rest of us. It's bad for them. You know, and Kennedy talked about this when he was in office. He talked about secret societies and keeping secrets from people. And this is generally it's a bad idea across the board for humans. It's just bad for our human nature. And for groups to have ultimate power of surveillance

who just look into your life, it's obvious. I mean, Edward Snowden proved it. It's obviously, it's too easy. It's too easy for people that work there to check on their ex-girlfriends and see what the fuck that bitch is up on. Do you think there's secret societies out there that we're not really aware of? Well,

if there's secret societies that we're aware of, that's because someone along the line opened their fucking trap. Sure. And they let us know about a secret society. That's how we found out about Skull and Bones. Right. One of those pussies told their mom. Yeah.

You know? Mom, they made me suck a dick and they filmed it. Yeah. Now I'm in the order. Isn't it like a glass coffin? It's glass dick. You suck a glass dick? You suck a glass dick.

I thought, no wait. I thought you lay in a glass coffin. And they jizz on you? And they jizz on the glass, like you're laying down and you're looking up through a glass coffin and it's raining jizz. What if you did that to a guy and he becomes uncontrollably hard and just shoots in his pants? Well, I think you're naked in the glass coffin.

Oh, okay. I don't know if they like put you in funeral garb or whatever, but but my guess is, I mean, if it was me, I'd be like, you know, I prefer to be naked. If you're going to fucking splatter jizz all over this fucking thing. I want you to be weirded out looking at my dick. Let's go for it, man. Yeah, I'm going to lay down face first. You can just stare at my hairy ass.

I'll try to come on the coffin from the inside while you come on it from the outside. While singing ABBA songs. But do you ever like, I love thinking about this stuff because I do think that there is probably, and this is kind of what we were talking about a little bit before, where the maps don't work anymore. Right. I think a lot of people like to live in a place where there's maps and they imagine that's all there is but i'm pretty sure that there are sectors of society

that you just never see and you never will see because they have around them this impermeable wall of wealth like you're not going to get in there. Like places that have membership fees that are like $600,000 a year. Like. Yeah. I know a guy who lives in one of those gated communities that has a golf course and the golf course costs a quarter million dollars a year. That, because that creates this wall where most people can get into. And then also. That's crazy. People are living in compounds. People are living in massive compounds that have entire teams of servants. Like, dude, there's people

who have eight nannies for their baby. Did you know that? There's people who have... That's because they're poor and they can't afford 15 like a normal family. 15 nannies. You got all the different languages covered,

the different styles. You could have gay nannies, straight nannies. See what the kid likes. But that's, when you think about that, that there are these enclaves of wealth that are compounds surrounded by not just like financial walls, but literal walls with armed guards standing around the walls. And inside these compounds are communities of as a servant class there are communities of servants that are having to serve these wealth hyper wealthy people that's a king and a queen it's a feudal compound that's being separated from the rest of the world and very least a duke and a duchess it's a duke and a duchess but i mean it's basically the no different it's it's

the same fucking thing because a lot of the people working in there are uh illegals so they don't even have recourse to normal laws and stuff like that and so what ends up happening in these compounds is there's people who are untraceable who live in there and that is when you end up in a fucking space suit sitting in a goddamn tesla going to fucking mars because you could easily just put one of your fucking you could put a disgraced nanny in that fucking thing you know when they're really gangster when they have white nannies right pretty white nannies pretty white nanny the wife has to sit around like there's someone who's always at check always at check need a husband not quite who's always at check. Always at check.

Need a husband. Not quite checkmate. Always at check. Yeah. Keep moving it around. Check. Yeah. Oh, she conveniently dropped her keys in front of Luther.

Yeah. Look at her pick them up. That dirty bitch. God fucking crazy. She's up in the air while she picks up the keys. Monogamy's so dumb. I can't believe I left these keys here. Let Luther fuck the nanny.

Just let the nanny like- No, no, no, no, no, no. Because then they might kill the wife. The wife knows too much. Let Luther fuck the nanny. Just let... If the nanny likes... No, no, no, no, no, no. Because then they might kill the wife. The wife knows too much. Let the wife join in. She knows about the offshore accounts. What you have to offer. She knows about the taxes.

Dude, she knows more than that. She knows more than that. Because what ends up happening in these compounds is you do start knowing things. And you start knowing real things. Real shit. Yeah, you start getting the real downloads about what's actually happening because these little fucking compounds, all those people are connected to each other.

They send each other Christmas cards. Yeah. And they go to each other's parties and stuff. And they talk and they know stuff, man. You see the way Luther looked at the nanny? Yeah. Come on, bro. Well, everyone.

Come on, bro. Come on, bro. She dropped her keys? You really think she dropped her keys? Did you see that? I did see it. I heard. I heard. Yeah, I was there.

She dropped her keys on purpose and she stuck her ass right up in the air. He's getting a divorce. We've got to be careful here, folks. We've got to keep this family together. Well, these people sign like 100- Non-disclosures? Like huge non-disclosure agreements. So like there's like they're wrapped up

in a veil of secrecy anyway but that's not what you have to worry about what you have to worry about is harvey kytale from pulp fiction that's you have to worry about you gotta worry about someone making a phone call and some guy who works some fucking ray dunovan in real life guy who works for rich people yeah who can make a lot of money so imagine if you're friends with a billionaire and this billionaire is uh he's in a situation yeah you know this is fucking guy he's just you know he's got pictures of my wife and yeah and you know he's trying he's trying to get some money out of me man i don't know what to do well sir we can make this disappear for a tidy sum of two hundred thousand dollars done done done and then all of a sudden that guy just isn't around anymore yeah the guy just gets picked

off and and whoever like would investigate it gets paid off and then it's like nothing happens or he just disappears just take him into the middle of the ocean well didn't wasn't there just this billionaire canadian couple that got executed? Yep, executed in their house. Yeah, it's like shit like that. And they were part of some sketchy deal. What were they connected to? Was it the Clinton Foundation? Was it? Jesus fucking Christ.

Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, Joe, with you and your conspiracy theories about the Clans, it's all coincidence after coincidence after coincidence. Oh, did you bring up Seth Rich again? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. No suspects. Shot in the back in front of his house, 4 in the morning.

No robbery. Wallet remains. Phone remains. Watch remains. Private investigator. And he's the guy who gave up all the DNC leaked emails. He gave them up to WikiLeaks. No, just coincidence.

Yeah. Must have just coincidence. Yeah, just fucking coincidence. He gave up the linked emails that show that the Clinton campaign absolutely worked their fucking black magic to get Bernie Sanders knocked out.

No, cut it out. Stop, stop, stop. Dude, how about haunting, man? Put up that video again. Put up that picture again. What are you showing me? Murdered Canadian billionaire couple Barry and honey Sherman Several people murdered them it says several Wow Wow crazy. That's crazy. They got whacked Hey, they fucked up. It fucked up. Did they what did they do didn't have a big enough army around them? They did not like a Duke and a Duchess and you're gonna hang out with assassins tried to save money on security

You know if I was running a security team, I'd show them. I'd be like, take a look at these guys. They tried to save money on their security team. Yeah, right. Okay, it says... Dangling. Real to discover their bodies dangling from a railing near their basement swimming pool. I like that it says suspicious.

Like, oh yeah, this seems a little suspicious. These billionaires are just hanging here. Looks like they were strangled and died they died from a form of strangulation called ligature neck compression That means somebody wrapped a rope around their neck and choked them to go a garage That is that is a personal way to kill someone. Yeah, very personal. Yeah, that's intense shit, man And these are old people 70 75 years old if you that, it is not pretty pictures that you get back. I don't want to. The people's faces?

Fuck that. Not them, but just whatever comes up on Google. Yeah, man. You don't want that. Don't want that to happen to you. See, this is why I think it would be scary to be friends with a billionaire. It would be scary to be friends with someone way up at the upper ups. Because you almost don't want that level of access.

Like it's almost like, look man, you guys fucking do whatever you're doing up in your compounds, drink from the iron skull, come on the fucking coffins, open the portals, pull out the squids. I'm enjoying my life down here.

I really don't want to know. Like I, I would prefer to like to just speculate Well, here's the thing man. I'm sorry to interrupt. No, please go ahead. There's levels to everything right? There's there's levels to the weirdness that's involved in Immigrant communities that all keep the same language. They all stay together They huddle up together their signs in their same language and then becomes like a Koreatown or Chinatown They all just huddle in that area and stay in that area. There's weirdness to that. There's weirdness to billionaires doing getting together

We're all just gonna do billionaire shit together Yeah, we're all gonna hang out together in these special clubs with those leather chairs those with the buttons on them You know those leather chairs. They're like smushy. They have like yeah puffy and then the buttons and then there's little buttons all over them It's a high back leather chair. Yeah sit there and perhaps there's a little nightstand right next to you with a cigar ashtray. You tap that little cigar ashtray. They bring over a cognac and you sift cognac like a gentleman

and you talk about where you're hiding your money. You talk about how you got rid of the syphilis before the wife found out. You talk about how you're helping Trump get into position to make sure that you could drill in africa wherever the fuck you're gonna do it that's this is what they do they get together how the fuck who else is gonna know what they're talking about right and you have to hang

out with other billionaires and it's fucking generational and some of them start going crazy like that cock that cock boy cock boy you, the cock boy is making those dumb shirts. Have you seen that fucking, have you seen this shit? No. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. You gotta see this. This is like. Cock boy?

This is the, it's K-O-C-H. This is the progeny. This is like the demonic antichrist progeny of like. Oh, the Koch brothers. The Koch. Oh, yeah. Koch. It's Koch, not Koch.

The cock boy. Yeah. The fucking cock boy. Dude, this is like, this is the end this is what the antichrist looks like everybody thinks the antichrist is going to be smart and it's in like in like nefarious and focused like demian no dude he's gonna like make fashion shirts like look at this shit let me see what we got here billionaire air wyaire heir Wyatt Coke makes shirts about money. I drank blood this morning. Wait a minute.

The shirts are about money? Can I see those pictures again? That looks like pink handcuffs with keys. How is that about money? Because that's what I pay for. I pay to be handcuffed. Are you allowed to show these videos of him, like, dancing around in his shirts and shit? It's actually been removed.

It's unavailable. Somebody got it. Dude, it's the weirdest fucking shit everywhere. He brings his whimsical ideas to life with his retina-blasting shirt brand. Wyatt Ingram. So Wyatt Ingram is his shirt brand? Yeah, but you got to look up an interview with him because he says shit like, Daddy told me I could do whatever I want.

Look at him. Look at his chick. Woo! Is that his girl? Big that bigger. God damn, I approve. I approve. I'm on his side.

If a guy who looks like that can get a girl who looks like that, you go, boy. What am I, a man hater? Huh? Am I one of these asshole men that shoot other men down I'm not I see that guy he didn't bother even think once about losing weight I'm not either I'm just you wait look at my zeros I'm just using that as an example of the progeny of billionaires like these people are like this is like something that this shit's spilling out of the mansions man

like look at this says here bless this shit's spilling out of the mansions, man. Look at what it says here. Bless this oafish coke air and his hideous shirts. He's a flamboyant guy. And now we're talking about him. Good for you, sir. I'm sorry, coke. He's smart. He looks like the guy who sold the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

Remember the dude? What's his name? The guy from Newman? Newman. He looks like Newman. And he's banging a 10. I mean, get the fuck out of here. He also looks like he's been spending a lot of time in the Skull and Bones cum coffin.

Wyatt! Wyatt! Get out of the cum coffin! No, father, I'm not satisfied. I haven't absorbed all the energy of the cum coffin. No, father, I'm not satisfied. I haven't absorbed all the energy of the cum into my being. Who knows, man? It's just weird over there. Yeah, look at him. I hope he has a giant dick.

I think that's the dick in the left pant. See the left pant where the yellow is? It kind of bulges out. Yeah, that's his cock. It's giant. It's fat like a quaker oats box scary scary that's him coming you know what it's like it's like one of these water bottles that's what it's like it's fat like that terrifying yeah and the end of it it quivers terrifying like the demogorgon's mouth on stranger things the end of it it doesn't have a slot it has like a little flower thing at the very end.

Dude, every time we do an episode together, we end up describing some form of alien cock every single time. Like I know the last one we had a description of it. Yeah, that's scary. Well, we're very immature. How dare you? I think it's important to speculate on the different types of potential alien cocks in the universe. I think cocks go away.

I think cocks are... This is a temporary situation. 100%. Really? Yep. Yeah, I think that's what aliens are. That's when you see the aliens, they have no cocks. No cocks.

No mouths. We're going to get rid of this mouth communication. That's terrible. We're going to get rid of this cock and pussy fucking. Sounds horrible. No, no, no. We're going to mind meld. It's going to be like DMT every time.

You're not even going to want to have regular sex if you could if I could give you the gift Of being able to travel through space wherever you wanted to go, but you had a nub down there your cocks gone No, I'd be like dr. Manhattan just sitting on Mars by myself all bored fuck that fuck that I like it here You'd rather hump. I like America. I like being right here. Yeah. Los Angeles. Yeah. God damn it. I like it. But you wouldn't want to see like float at the edge of a- With my tiny little dick crying as I fly through the universe. No.

Through infinity like this. I'm so bored. No. Look it down and I have like a dick like, remember when they shrank Dr. Ken's dick in the hangover? They made it like so small you couldn't even see it. Remember? That would be what it was like. Just, no! I know, man. It'd be so sad.

Yeah, and you'd live forever with no dick flying through space. Just a nub. Bored. Listen, man, I'm not into deals. I like what's going on right now. I don't want to hear your heaven deal. I don't want to hear your space deal. I'm good. I'm good right here. Well, I mean, don't want to hear your heaven deal i don't want to hear your space deal yeah good i'm good right here well i mean don't you ever i mean this we and this is another thing

we told we've done these so many times we're going to repeat of course but like dude one of i do worry about you sometimes man because it's like i think you're gonna get i think it's finally gonna happen i think one of your guests is gonna come in here with a briefcase and he's gonna show you something and i don't know what it is to show you something. And I don't know what it is. Like an alien piece of a spacecraft? I don't know what it is. I was hoping it was going to be Tom DeLonge. I was hoping he had something.

No, I think you're going to, you're accidentally going to get access for some reason. I think somebody's going to give you something or show you something, and you're in like, I worry about you, man. Because it's like, yeah, because you've got like,

you now have a platform that is unlike any platform that's happened, you know, because you're doing like a comedy podcast, radio show style thing. But you're also interviewing people about really heavy duty shit. And sure, you like pepper it up with freaks like me from time to time. Just for it up. Yeah. But like you have, you have. You make it the the other people are the on the main agenda and i'm just

peppering up a little dunkin trussell well no i'm just saying like what the fuck do i know like you're having people on you talking about you and i have had my all-time favorite podcast thanks if i have my all-time favorite group of people if i had like a handful of 10 people to pick forever just do podcasts them forever you are you are 100% on that list. I appreciate that. It's you and Diaz and Ari. There's a few other people. Callan.

But there's just a list of people that are just forever. Yeah, man. I love doing podcasts with you. Don't you ever say that, you son of a bitch. I'm never saying such a thing. You and some fucking scientist want to prove to me that telekinesis is real? I'm going with you. Please take the scientist. Then we'll do a podcast after.

But, dude, I'm telling you, like, knowing all this shit, and there's so many times when we've done this podcast where you and I have started talking, and, like, the hair stands up on my arm, and I'm like, dude, like, we shouldn't be talking about some of this shit. Like, it gives me the real heebie-jeebies. And then sometimes, I'll admit this to you, sometimes when I'm super stoned, I'm thinking about all the podcasts we've done, sometimes I think to myself,

fuck, maybe Joe does know something. Like, maybe you did end up getting some kind of little, like, shoulder rub with them where they're like not literally your shoulder up you just brush shoulders and they were like hey we love your show we love your show man they didn't even say anything they just showed themselves to you a little bit to be like hey look don't fuck around man don't fuck around like you could talk we don't we you're funny we like the way you talk but don't fuck around man don't you ever think that hmm no because i'm not like you god damn it plus i don't keep those commie ideas floating

around inside my head i got a goddamn american flag behind me duncan trussell i don't know the fuck you're talking about i'm friends with a ton of cops you got an american flag with a fucking cow's skull above it it's actually uh an asian an Asian buffalo from Australia that was arrowed by my great friend Adam Greentree. Wow. One of the best bow hunters on the face of the planet Earth. Wow. He shot that thing. Yeah, but I mean, it's like...

He brought it to me because he's my friend. Remember when we did that show? Remember when we did that show, the sci-fi show? But it was kind of... As the show progressed, we became increasingly sort of despondent upon realizing, because we're both so retarded, that we thought maybe we were going to find an alien. Like, both of us secretly thought. Well, it became very frustrating because you saw the same thing in everybody.

You saw this delusional belief in illogical things that they would argue. They would argue it illogically. They weren't objective about the actual evidence versus what they wanted to perceive the evidence to point to. They were all biased, in which I've been biased before. Everybody's been biased, but it was just delusional. Everyone was delusional, everyone, from the first UFO guy to the first chemtrail guy to the first Bigfoot guy.

They were all either liars or delusional or they had errors in their thinking. And then occasionally we would talk to a guy like that one dude that we met that was in the trailer that told us about the balls that would fly through the air. Yes. Well, after that, I heard a podcast with a physicist, a guy who was a lightning expert who was talking about ball lightning. They don't know what causes it. They don't know why it exists even.

And this guy was on Radiolab, and it was fairly recently. And this guy was actually saying that lightning itself doesn't make any sense. Like it's not supposed to exist if you're measuring all of the energy in the sky. There's something that we don't know about what the formation of lightning is, that it shouldn't even exist, shouldn't be possible. Right. But this ball lightning is not only possible,

it's been observed many, many times, and it's even happened inside of an airplane, where it floated down the aisle inside of an airplane, and multiple people witnessed it. Right. People have seen ball lightning, they've gotten video of ball lightning,

and what it looks like is exactly what that guy was describing to us. That this thing came through his house and then just disappeared. Remember? He's talking about... Totally remember. And he did not seem like a liar to me. No. I think he saw bald lightning. And I think that area near that

Skinwalker Ranch place in particular is for whatever causes that phenomenon. It happens more frequently in that area. It's very possible. Because there are a lot of people over there that saw some shit. Sure, man.

I mean, but this, that was disappointing. But that was the most revealing. That was revealing, and that was a weird area. Yeah, it was weird. That was a fucking weird area. But don't you, like, imagine that,

do you ever do this game? is a fun game where you start thinking about who the smartest person on the planet must be like the continuum of intelligence game where you start thinking like okay i know i land somewhere on the continuum of intelligence i know there's people that are probably not quite as smart as i am and i know there's people who are way fucking smarter than i am and then you start thinking to yourself who are the who are those people and what and what are they up to and then you start thinking to yourself, who are those people? And what are they up to? And then you start thinking,

see, this is what I think about if I were you. Then you start thinking like, fuck, man, I've got this podcast that lots of people listen to. Has it ever happened where maybe some really intelligent person has manipulated me in an attempt to get me to disseminate some kind of information out into the world

Good luck manipulating me Duncan Trussell. I'm an American. Yeah, okay these flags don't run or something. What happens these colors I know what's up, bro, but you wouldn't even know that's the thing you wouldn't even know I wouldn't know How would I not know these people are people? Well, I'm gonna be like if there if someone is super so good at manipulating people that they can manipulate me and change the way i think about things yeah well then good luck right i mean but that's like the thing is like this is again i'm not trying to make you paranoid or anything too late it's just but it's fun to think because it's like this like okay like let's imagine for the sake of just, we've established they're these fucking billionaires. And they live in these compounds.

Right. And we've also established that certainly people like Michael Hastings and other people, they get killed all the time. They might have, but I think he got killed because he got a fucking major general fired. Well, what have we established? Major league general. There's super powerful people who will use technology to kill people to have their own way so that means that there is some group or series of groups of people that are doing like highly nefarious actions from places of power or i'm just paranoid or i'm connecting the dots here maybe he was on speed and drove into a tree honestly i do not know

but it's very fun yeah to think that it's a conspiracy and they killed him. Very fun. But if you look at Occam's Razor, if you applied Occam's Razor, the most likely scenario is that he just drove into the tree. That's not very sexy. Here's a way to kind of help out with Occam's Razor with these kinds of things. Just think, okay, I have $100,000, Occam's razor with these kinds of things is just think, okay, I have a hundred thousand dollars and I'm going to put bets in this awesome casino where the truth is revealed. So

are you going to put the money down on him being assassinated? Are you going to put the money down on him being on speed and driving into a tree after he said, if I commit suicide, it's not a suicide. I got to meet the guy. That might have been throwing people off. Don't get to meet him. Maybe he wanted to leave a fucking story. Maybe this guy's like, you know what? I'm just going to have these people think that I got suicided by the feds, man. Sure.

Like me, you're doing my thing. Fuck them all. No, dude. Fuck them all, man. No, dude. I know where you'd put your money. I know where I put my money. Listen, if it was like 50 bucks, yeah, I'm going to bet on conspiracy because it's exciting.

Right. If I lose 50 bucks, I won't feel that. I'll feel like, well, fuck. I was hoping to win. But you're like, I'm just saying, man, how do you deal with being on the fucking radar, man? Because the thing is, if there is an interest in controlling the reality tunnel, we know that there is a war like truly a a war to to control the paradigm because if i can control the paradigm just as a thing that this is i agree with you but i don't think it's a united front this war to control the paradigm is most tightly fought

between left and right it's most tightly fought in in government right in in the real things what we're doing is commentating on the sidelines Yeah, you know if I'm influencing anybody I'm influencing people by pointing them to information that I see that's already out there, right? There's a big difference between what these people are in power against each other Right, there's there's got to be some people that are influencers that get access or get shit upon, especially in the age of Trump. If you're an anti-Trump, if he finds out you're against him, he's very vindictive. He calls Don Lemon a moron. He shits all over those CNN hosts and calls CNN fake news.

But Sean Hannity and Fox and Friends, he'll praise them in his tweets. There's an information war going on with these people. But they're paying attention to right and left. Assholes like me that are like, what am I? I'm a fence sitter. I mean, if fucking Ron Paul was running for president, I'd probably be like, I'm in. Let's see how this works. I like what he's saying.

I like his ideas. He was a guy that when he was running for president, I was like, okay, well, this guy's clearly a very honorable person. He's clearly a very honest person. I mean, by all accounts. Let's see what he does. He do's. Let's see what he does. Let's see what happens.

Let's see what happens. It's got to be better than just knowing you're being bullshitted. Right. So many of them are just so obviously bullshitting you. That you're listening to these canned fucking speeches and you're like, God damn it, I don't resonate with you at all. This is that presidential type of address where I talk

in a way that you've never heard a normal person talk in your presence before. You might say to yourself, well that's weird, man. But I gotta talk like that when there's a lot of people. No, you don't. You don't. That's not real. And I don't understand. You put a shield up and the shield

is an act. You have a presidential act. Sure. Or you put a shield up and the shield is a an act you have a presidential act sure or you have a strip club dj act or you have a morning dj app all right five o'clock past the hour here we go led zeppelin houses of the holy the ocean yeah i mean that's the fucking voice i've heard that voice a thousand times It's a goddamn costume that people wear you also have a fuck voice. Don't forget that. I don't have a fuck voice You don't oh come on. Let me put it in You you um you don't have a fuck voice come Come on. So you wanna hear my fuck voice? Yeah. Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy There's so much shame in wanting to fuck. Ooh, she wants to fuck. It's so sad. Oh, you terrible person. It's so sad.

What do you have, an itchy vagina? Yeah. Your vagina needs to get scratched. Yeah, man. It's definitely one of the tragic parts of society is that people feel shame about that. I love the scene in Game of Thrones when Cece... What's her name? Cece?

The beautiful woman. Cersei. Thank you. When Cersei's walking naked down the street, they're going, shame. Shame. The shame bell. Shame. I have the shame bell app on my phone.

I used to. You can get the shame bell app. Ooh. Yeah. I don't have any more. Why? Was it too much? It was too much power.

You were addicted to the shame bell. It's too much power. It's like when people delete their Facebook off their phone. I know people that like regularly delete their Facebook. Fuck this. They just take it off their phone. I can't do this anymore, man. Too much power with the shame bell, man.

But people, there's a lot of dudes who ring that fucking shame bell at girls all the fucking time, man. That's the worst. Yeah. You're ruining the whole vibe. Yeah. But you know what it is? Because guys feel terrible when a girl leaves them and fucks somebody else. They want to make it like very difficult to write a new man right?

One man you dirty little bitch. Yeah, oh Yeah, or if you're like not if you're polyamorous then like they call you a cuck because you don't care that other people are fucking You're saying that hippie talk for when you move to Cuba or wherever the fuck you go. I don't think I'm not listen talk for when you move to Cuba or wherever the fuck you're going. I don't think they... I'm not gonna... Listen. In America, you get a fucking wife, and that's it, you greedy bitch. That's it, you bitch.

There's an even number of people over here. This ain't China, son. You want to go live in China? Yes. There's like fucking ten guys every one chick. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going.

Ten guys every one chick. You're gonna wind up butt-fucking other dudes. Well, fuck it. Yeah, you say fuck it. Come coffins all day, baby. That's what happens in happens in prison people get crazy they start having sex with men you just got you got to figure out a way out of prison or having sex with men figure out a way you got to get rid of your cum cum's got to figure out a way out what's the best way your hand you're gonna have to fuck guys or something shit yeah this is bullshit that. That's what happens if you live in China. That's what happens if...

I don't have a real lesson here to learn. But if there's more than 10 to 1 men to women... That's what happens if you live in China. Don't they have some crazy problem over there? I'm not making this up. Joking, folks. Obviously I'm joking. But there's a crazy problem over there with

the ratio of men to women. What is the ratio? Let's take a guess. What is the ratio of men to women. What is the ratio? Let's take a guess. What is the ratio of men to women in China? I think it's something like 60-40. It might be higher. That's bad news, man. It might be higher. That's dangerous.

I might have made that up. That's a dangerous ratio. It's a spooky ratio. I've read the ratio. It's not a good ratio. It's a spooky, fucked up ratio. Well, you know, for a long time, they had limitations on how many children you could have. Right.

Which is just fucking terrifying. They messed up the whole thing it's not just that man people were killing their baby if they found their baby was a girl i mean this is a real thing it didn't happen everywhere it didn't happen all the time but there absolutely were girls that were drowned because they were girls because the family wanted a boy and if you don't think that that's the case you're delusional i think you're delusional I think if you put those kind of restrictions on intensely poor people yeah in it in some of them in some parts of the country they're in terrible poverty and you tell them they can only have one kid yeah I don't have a boy because the boys gonna help them work

right I don't know if these stories of them drowning baby girls were true because I wasn't there right Right. But those stories persist. Sure. I've never snoped them, but I don't think they know either. If you weren't there while it happened. God, it's so brutal. Fuck, it's a horrible thing to think of. To have a baby and then just drown it because it doesn't have a dick?

But dude, people have done that. People have left babies in garbage cans. I mean, people have done a lot of terrible things to babies. Yeah. When I was a kid, I worked at a place called Newport Creamery, and it was right next to a bank, and a girl that worked in the bank was pregnant. She never told anybody she was pregnant.

She gave birth in the toilet and left the baby in the garbage. They found the baby in the fucking garbage, dead. And she got arrested. And this was a girl I used to go to. She was a bank teller. I would go to the teller. What was she like?

She seemed awkward. She wasn't attractive. Did you guys go on any dates or anything? No, I did not. She wasn't attractive, but she was a large woman, which is why nobody could tell that she was pregnant. She was big. And she apparently had been pregnant and didn't tell anybody.

And nine months pregnant at work and just had the baby in the toilet and threw it in the trash can. And I don't know if she didn't take the trash out. I don't know how she got busted. Can you imagine going into the bathroom and you're taking a shit and you're like, why does it smell like... Baby in here. What the fuck is that smell? And then you look in the waste paper basket and you see an eye. Just looking at it.

That is so fucked up, man. So fucked so up that was a real person that i knew the country with the highest gender disparity at birth is in china what is it lichtenstein oh where's that uh terrible place sad place okay but let's find out what the ratio of men to women it does it say about 33 million more men than women so it's like 733 million men and 688 or something like that. Okay, so it's like 90s. That's like in the 90s, isn't it? Jesus Christ, man. That's crazy. It's still a large number.

Thank God for sex robots. That's better, though. That's better than I thought it was. Within 115 males, every 100. Go ahead, brother. 115 males to every 100 females china is in the country with the most story that's crazy imagine if you're in a room there's 115 dudes and 100 girls it's like a crazy musical chair thing like shit i gotta find a gal this one's worse we're

in lichtenstein it's 126 males to every hundred but there's only there's less than 40 000 people in the whole country so it's even even worse. Because there's less. Less possibility. Fuck, man. Imagine if there's a country. That's a crazy country. 37,000 people. That's a crazy country.

That country is like Burbank. No, it's not even Burbank. Yeah. No. It's like, what's 37,000? Let's take a guess. Part of LA has 37,000 people in it. Jesus christ 37 000 that ain't that's nothing out here like boulder is a hundred thousand and boulder seems so quaint that town is one third the size

of boulder i mean that country is one third the size of boulder that's amazing wow when you think of it that way that's amazing as many people as in culver city imagine if culver city was a country whoa beverly hills has 34 000 that's amazing so it's beverly hills yeah it's beverly hills as a country with all dudes that's amazing with all dudes just like beverly hills that gay couple thing is sad as fuck imagine people have a real hard time with the idea of gay people raising kids they get real angry I just can't think that all gay people are the same like why would you not think that some gay people would be good at all kinds of things there's gonna be gay people that are great carpenters.

There's going to be gay people just like straight people. There's going to be awesome ones, and there's going to be ones that are fucked up. The idea that they wouldn't be good parents. Wouldn't you rather have two gay parents that loved you than a mother that's a fucking crackhead and a dad that's a piece of shit and beats you? Two gay people that let you be yourself. You know just they're they're cool and conscientious they just happen to be homosexual

they love each other they hug in front of you you realize like we're all wrapped up in this bullshit of you know men women should only be together like heterosexual people like ourselves we get weird when you think of someone who's homosexual. Like, I'm fully in support of it, but if they started fucking right in front of me, I'd be like, hey, I gotta go. Whereas, like, if Duncan started banging his girlfriend right in front of me, I'd be like, um... You'd love it. Do you want me to cheer you on? What do you want me to do?

Just watch. How do you want me to handle this? Just watch. Okay, don't look at me when you come, though. That last time was weird. Just, like, look over. Ugh. Ugh. Make do you want me to handle this? Just watch. Okay. Don't look at me when you come, though. That last time was weird. Just look over. Make eye contact. I've seen guys kiss in public, and part of me is happy for them.

Part of me is like, that's awesome that they're so comfortable. In 2018 now, I was 17 at the time, maybe even 16. I've seen it a couple of times. It's 2018 now. It was 17 at the time. Maybe even 16. I've seen it a couple of times. One time I was driving, and I was going from the comedy store.

I took a right, and then I went down. Is it Doheny? Which street is it? One of the streets that goes right to Santa Monica Boulevard, which is like full rage gay central. It's just dudes in the streets partying. There's this big gay club with guys on poles and shit. And there's these two dudes. And they were hanging out.

And they were belt looping. Where they each had their hands on the other's belt loops. Like anchoring in. And they were just grinding on each other and kissing. And I was in my car. I was like, oh, Jesus! Jesus, keep moving! Don't stop here! I was terrified. car. I was like, oh, Jesus. Jesus, keep moving. Don't stop here.

I was terrified. The car was stopped, and they were right there, belt looping and making out. Okay. Simulator, you have access to any experience you want, and you're in it for, I don't know, 100,000 years. You're an immortal being. How long before you simulate fucking a dude, Joe? Well, you know what happened with Marlon Brando.

Yeah, he fucked Pryor. He also fucked Marvin Gaye. What a roster. Wow. He's just really into talented black guys. Yeah, wow. But you're not answering the question. Oh, I'm sorry.

In the simulator, how long... How long before you started having sex with guys? How long before you decided to have sex with a guy in a simulator? For thousands of years, you start having sex before you decide to have sex with a guy like in a simulator it's like for the for like thousands of years you're having you know any kind of you can you you can literally fuck anybody that you want in this simulation and you're you're in there for a long time so you go through fucking every single possible iteration of woman ever you just fucking fuck three ways six ways thousands of ways you're you're like you're just laying in a rainforest of beautiful pussies squirting on you and fucking

and everything that your mind could think of sexually you're just doing it how long before you start adding cock into the equation well i think if we did an experiment where we both took a journey like that, where I'll see you, we'll be just like we are now, but it would be 100,000 years of whatever you want later. Yeah. Okay?

We'll show up 100,000 years from now. You will have dick on your breath, and I won't. I would have gone through the whole 100,000 years with no gay sex because I could do whatever I want. Why would I fuck dudes? I would have sex with girls and then when I was

done having sex with girls, I would take a nap or I'd do some other shit. Meanwhile, you'd be like, I gotta stick it somewhere, man! When can I start fucking guys? It's true, man. I would get to the finish line and I'd be like, no, dude. The finish line?

I would be like, yeah, I made it to 100,000 years. 100,000 years, that's the race. No dick for 100,000 years. You would have made it with a... Because you're eternal. You just have girlfriends, man. Why would you just start sucking dick? Because, well, it's about that time.

You look at your watch, but, after a couple of years? You're like, enough of this pussy. Couple of months. Come on, man. Why is 100,000 years any different than 20 years? Did 20 years ago you feel less likely to suck a dick than you feel today? No. You're the exact same goddamn human being other than you've learned and gotten better at life.

You still like the same shit. First of all, I just want to go back a little bit because you said at the end of the 100,000 years, I've cocked on my... You're going to have dick in your breath, and I won't. Here's the thing. In my simulator, cocks are going to have different flavors. It's not going to just be cock. It'll be like an owl toy.

That's how they get you. Minty cocks? I hate to say this to you, but your dick tastes terrible, and you need to get it minty. There's a way. There's a way. And then guys are going to suck it, and then they're going to get mint in their mouth. If you sucked my dick, you'd get mint in your mouth.

You want to feel it? Just try it out. I know it seems weird, but it'll get you minty. I will fully admit that at the end of the 100,000 years, I have sucked dicks in the sex simulator, but the fact that you think you haven't I would like to do a poll. I'll get to the end. I'd be wearing a cowboy hat. Bare chested. Riding a horse. I'm fighting it off

with every fiber of my being but I make it. Not only am I bare chested, I'm bare chested with a bandana. Like I'm close. I'm close. I'm shaving my chest with a straight razor. Like, I'm close. I'm close. I'm shaving my chest with a straight razor in the front mirror at the barbershop. I'm super close

to going gay, but I don't. I make it to 100,000 years clean. I have cowboy boots on with no socks. Then you lose. You lose the race.

Wrong. I fucking win. I don't have a dick in my breath at the end of the race. And I don't have those dirty memories either. You have dirty, dirty memories. Yes, I do. do of butts and in tupperware and slipping slides i'm stopping with dudes i'm sucking off dinosaurs that's right you can have anything you want you can you can

a unicorn in the sky yeah yeah why not if you could do whatever you want. If you could do whatever you want. You had like full chart. Like if your life was a virtual experience that you can control with your mind as if you had like a control panel. Yeah. You would just start sucking dicks. Not me. I'd be bulletproof robbing banks. Among other things.

I'd be fighting vampires. I'd make a whole world. I would do a bunch of shit. I'd fly. I'd fly all over the place. I wouldn't land and suck a dick what yeah you know have you ever heard the alan watts thing about this you ever heard alan watts talk about this i've heard him talk about a lot but not about that did he really no he talks about he does this great thought experiment which is like okay if you were able to do anything you wanted right you've definitely heard this but you if you were able to do anything you wanted, you've definitely heard this. But if you were able to do anything you wanted, if you were an infinite being, omnipotent, and you could do whatever you want, you would experiment with making everything.

And you would try everything. And you would do everything. We're talking about infinity. You're literally in the state of creative flow for infinity. And you're going to – he has a great lecture that I'm going to butcher. You should look it up because he's so – he's such an articulate genius. But like the essence of the thing is eventually – Eventually.

Upon doing everything and creating a universe and creating planets and creating a planet where there's life on it and being a god that communicates with the beings on the planet, you're going to start thinking to yourself, I wonder what would happen if I made myself one of the beings on the planet and couldn't remember that I was God. And that's what you are. That's what we are, is we are one of the experiments of the divine seeing, shit, I wonder what happens if I forget that I'm capable of creating anything that I want whenever I want, that I've made the entire universe let me turn myself into this hyper limited version of myself with no memory of what i was and play that game at that level because it's a lot more fun it's amusing it's exciting right and that's and and that's when alan watt starts talking about which cox he would simulate inside that machine no no. It is, if you ever heard Marshall McLuhan speak. No. There's some interesting YouTube videos

on, with, you could watch McLuhan talk and he doesn't look anything like you'd expect. It's really interesting. But his, not, I don't want to say calculated,

his scientific dissection of like what's happening with media and what's happening with technology and where the future lies is so fascinating because it's from the 1960s. He's talking about the media is the message, I think is the name of the lecture in the book. That was the same book where he wrote one of my all-time favorite quotes that human beings are the sex organs of the machine world like this guy had no internet he had i mean nothing was like anything to the most electronics they had was a goddamn calculator yeah they had nothing the computers they had were giant rooms filled with shit you know like yeah but somehow or another he saw where it was all going he was seeing things and pointing things out just with the very nature of our ability to communicate and our ability to

innovate and where it was all headed yeah fucking fascinating because you think about how it did play out and no one saw this coming man what no one saw coming was what we're on right now, the internet, this fucking new thing where people can just find out the answer to, like we've done so far today, about scientific questions about Descartes and fucking periods that this was constructed and when did this happen and 1079, what? You're getting a download unlike anybody that's ever lived. Yeah. It's amazing. And everybody can do it. This is the thing that's making the boundaries between us and the leaders of the world. This is why there's such a problem.

It's because we have all the information, too. Right. Everybody has all the information. Yeah. And the only thing that's keeping it all glued together is tradition. The only thing that's keeping the hierarchies into the position of power they're at right now without being completely abandoned and restructured from the bottom up, the only thing that's keeping them together is tradition.

That's it. What do you mean? The only thing that's keeping government and just borders and nations and the whole concept that we're existing, that there are a bunch of different countries and there's a bunch of different leaders and this guy controls the troops. The only thing that's keeping that together is tradition. The only thing. If we eventually can communicate with each other in a way that foregoes all of the current limitations

and all the past limitations, something that bypasses all that stuff, one of the first things that's going past limitations. Something that bypasses all that stuff. One of the first things that's going to go is the illogical traditions. But it seems like it's traditions being guarded by dudes with guns. They are. But those dudes with guns are going to die. And new young dudes with guns are going to take their place. This is just a, I mean, it might take generations.

But this is what happens with ideas. It's just happening so fast now. And some of the people with the old idea, they were born and raised with the old ideas. They're still around. They're still stuck in this old system. But then this new system has blossomed around them and they're trapped. And they're shitting bricks. They're shitting bricks. And they're trying to stop it.

Exactly. And they're actively trying to stop it. Did you hear that shit Jeff Sessions said? I don't mean to keep harping on that guy. Yeah, please do. He said that like, he just came out again saying that he thinks that the opioid epidemic, as they call it, is being partially fueled by marijuana as a gateway drug. That marijuana is getting people onto painkillers.

Which is a completely wrong. I mean, not only is it wrong, it's like they can show statistics that seem to indicate that. The opposite. The opposite. Yeah. But that crazy fuck is saying it publicly like it's real, and it's not. And just the fact that that man is allowed to continue having his job, which theoretically somebody who's in his position should be so hyper aware of the data on all drugs.

Because a person in that position, we need a person just like you're saying. We need shepherds like this fucking fentanyl shit, man. Yes. One of my friends,l shit, man. Yes. One of my friends, he lost his wife to this. So many people are dying because of this. I know a couple people that have died from it. It's terrible. It's terrible.

It killed Tom Petty. It's so sad. It killed Prince. It's terrible. But we need, so we need to have some regulatory force that's making sure that these poisons. But they're not regulating that. They're going after the stuff that's the most innocuous, the safest, the most beneficial. It's medicinal.

Could you imagine having a podcast with Jeff Sessions? Just you sitting across from Jeff Sessions for three hours and talking to him about things. Dude, I've heard and this is like, I hate to say He smells like sulfur. No, I hate to say this. I don't want to say this.

I've heard he's like funny and he's like, likes to argue and he's cool hanging out with. That's what sucks. Yeah, you want him to be like, he's smelling. Well, you say that, but if you had him on a podcast, I bet you'd chip away through all that, all those, that party personality. No, these people, that's the problem, man. These people, they're not. Lizards. They're not lizards.

That's a problem. If they were fucking lizards, if only Jeff S's the problem, man. These people, they're not... Lizards. They're not lizards. That's the problem. If they were fucking lizards, if only Jeff Sessions was a fucking lizard. The problem is, it's like, they're not like that. They're just, they're confused. Dungan. Yes, Master Sessions. Your podcast is wonderful. Thank you, father.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. No, the problem is we have to have compassion for these people because they're not bad. They're misguided. Misinformed. Yes. And they can be turned around with the proper experiences.

Right. And if they're willing to abandon their previous notions. But the problem is so many people are so invested in their identity that it's impossible for them to give up their notions. Just like the Egyptologists that don't want to look at the possibility that maybe they've been doing these fantastic constructions in Egypt a lot longer than we think, which is entirely possible. It doesn't mean that the Great Pyramid...

Take it back to Egypt one last time. No one's doubting that the Great Pyramid of Giza was constructed at somewhere around 2500 BC, according to all the data that we have right now, because they've been able to carbon date stuff that they find like in between the stones. They're pretty sure that it's somewhere in that range. You know, they're off here, there a little bit,

but there's some other construction that John Anthony West pointed out that's buried under sand, they find that's like way, it might've been buried for who knows how fucking long, and it's a different style of construction, and it looks really old. Like one of the things about the styles of construction and the things that they find in in um in egypt is

a lot of it is buried in sand after a while even the sphinx itself you know when they found the sphinx and one of the things that one of the people that is in uh some of the ancient hieroglyphs that's attributed to being alive at the same time as a scroll. I forget which pharaoh. But he heard in a dream that if he uncovered the Sphinx, that he would become pharaoh of Egypt. Because it was covered in sand. Wow. Like they had written down at that time. And this was like 2000 BC or something crazy like that.

It was covered in sand back then. Wow. They don't even know. I mean, there's so little they know about who made it and why. I bet you know the answer to this. And this is probably a dumb question. I'm sorry, but how deep is the sand out there? Like how far down does that fucking sand go?

That's a very good question. That's a very good question. And isn't sand, here's the other thing, isn't sand from oceans beating down rocks? Yeah. I mean, that's what sand is yeah this that's what's the most fucked up thing about the desert there's just no goddamn ocean but you've got so much sand yeah that is mostly from what isn't it i think sand's mostly created it's probably created a few different ways but I think it's mostly created by oceans beating down rocks right?

So that's just time you're just looking at time looking at the craziest fucking stamp of time we can look at yeah How long does it take for an ocean to turn rocks into a goddamn desert? Holy shit, dude What is under the sand mega lake? Oh? What is under the sand? A mega lake. Beneath the sands of the Sahara Desert, scientists have discovered evidence of a prehistoric mega lake.

There's a monster down there! Using images of windblown sediments, sediments produced by running water and bedrock seen by radar beneath the desert sands, the geologists pieced together the profile of an ancient mega lake. Oh, wow. Cool. So the sand goes 69 to 141 feet in the Sahara and 3 feet in the Simpson Desert. I don't know where that is.

The depths of sand varies widely around the world. 69 to 141 feet. Wow. 141 feet of just sand. So am I right that sand is created by the ocean beating down rocks i think that's true most of the time and maybe it's not true all the time it's so nice to be so stupid you just ask questions so fun to figure it out like you get to know like it's great no idea yeah i was um talking to uh neil degrasse tyson the other day and he was trying to explain to me escape velocity.

And he takes my shoe. He goes, let me see your shoe. And he takes my shoe and he goes, now, if I throw this up in the air, it's going to come down. But if I throw it hard enough, it will escape the pull of the gravity of the earth and once it's free, it will go on forever.

Yeah. You sit there going, what? That's fucking cool. What? Yeah. Like, you try to put that in your head like wait a minute what goes on forever isn't that the problem now this sky this is great two just dummies talking isn't this the problem with the moon is that not the problem with the moon but if you jump on the moon you can escape the escape like it's easier to get out of the escape velocity of the moon. No, it's one-sixth Earth's gravity. Oh, really?

Yeah. I always thought on the moon you could jump and fly into space. No, no, no, no. You can theoretically jump higher. And if you believe in NASA, bro, there's some videos of guys jumping around on the moon. Yeah. bro. There's some videos of guys jumping around on the moon. Yeah. The problem with the videos of people

on the moon is that there are videos that look 100% fake. Where guys fall forward and it looks like they get yanked up by wires. There's a lot of video that looks fake as fuck. I don't know if it's fake. I don't know if it just looks fake because it's 1-6

the Earth's gravity and we don't know what that really looks like until you see it play out. But there's some videos of guys falling down face-first and getting yanked back up. It looks like they yanked by cords. Have you seen that picture of the thing that looks like... What's up, Jamie? After we talked about this last time, some people sent in videos of NFL players doing the exact same thing in the end zone.

Yeah, super athletes. There's three or four guys doing it. Throw their body, but they don't have a giant pack on their back. They're wearing helmets. They're wearing helmets. They're wearing helmets. That shit's light compared to what the astronauts are wearing, dude. They have a suit that keeps them with one sixer. It's true.

But if the concept is they're not even on the fucking moon, then that suit could just be paper mache. But some of the ones where they're pitched completely forward and they just go backwards. That's literally what it is. I'm trying to find it right now. Come and see. I would love to see it. That's interesting. So you're still wavering

on whether we went to the moon? No, I'm more wavering. No, I'm too dumb and uneducated to really know, but I am wavering more on the possibility that some of the footage was faked. Let me see this. Super quick. It's a five-second video,

so it's like no instant replay. Boom. That is not the same thing, Jamie. I can do that. It's super similar, though. Dude, bullshit. I can do that. That guy goes to his...

I'll do that right now. I'll find another one. The guy goes to his knees and then uses his momentum to pop up from his knees. I've seen some that look pretty crazy, though, man. Dude, that's ridiculous. I'll find another one. The moon ones are way more preposterous than that.

I've seen better examples than that, though. Oh, yeah, super athletes. But what they're doing is springing up, and you can see the kinetic energy from their legs. It's forcing them up. They're super athletes. They show off. Those guys do backflips and shit all the time. They are physically capable of doing things that a normal person can't do.

But they're not physically capable of defying physics. What you're seeing in a lot of those moon videos looks like someone's defying physics they pitch forward and they bounce back up I think they shot a bunch of shit and I think some of the video if you're going into space and you're experiencing deep radiation the Van Allen radiation belts and from the Sun do you can't even go through the fucking x-ray machine at the airport the old x-ray machines with film they wouldn't let you yeah because if you went through with film, it would kill your fucking film. So how are they getting these perfect videos and photos and none of them are fucked up

by radiation? It's entirely possible that they did go to the moon, but they faked a bunch of the film footage because they wanted to have something and they couldn't really bring anything back. It's entirely possible. There's faked footage from the Russians, 100%. There's entirely possible. There's faked footage from the Russians, 100%. There's a precedent. The footage of Yuri Gagarin when he's circling Earth for the first time and he goes in a rocket and the first guy in space, it's fake as fuck, dude. He's inside this tiny little compartment and all of a sudden they've got room in there for a camera?

Get the fuck out of here, bitch. You see a light source this way and a light source that way. He's got dueling shadows behind him because they got lights set up in there because they're filming him inside this capsule. No. He shot up in the space. He really did do it, but they couldn't fit a goddamn camera in this tiny little capsule. There's no room.

So they just faked it after the fact. Makes sense. Of course it makes sense. It saves a lot of money. There was no internet back then. There was no VHS tapes back then. They broadcast something on TV as far as their eyes and their mind goes. That was the only time people were going to see it. All they have to do is show

it to you once. Pull it off. Nobody ever imagined you'd be able to pull it up on your phone. Or two stoners like you and me would be watching on a podcast. See if you can find the video of Yuri Gagarin from inside his, what would you call those things? Pods? Pods. What would find the video of Yuri Gagarin from inside his, what would you call those things? Pods? Pods.

What would you call it? Yuri Gagarin in space. You watch it and you go, get the fuck out of here. You watch it and you go, what? That is fake. That is not him. Or it's not him in space, rather. So here it is. And blast off. Da da da da da da da da da da. Here he is. And blast off.

Here he is. He's getting in the bus. He's heading to space. I can't believe it. Yuri, show me. Where are you? Right. So he's in this thing.

Look at that. Right there. Back it up. That was it. That's it. Watch this. Are we good? We're good.

All right. Let's drop it. Here we go. And take off. Look at the lights. You see. Hold up. Back up. Back up. Back up, let's drop it. Here we go. And take off. Look at the lights. You see, hold up. Back up. Back up.

Back up. Stop. Pause it. Look at the shadows. Shadow to the left. Shadow to the right. There's fucking lights in front of him. They have lights in there.

He's in this tiny little pod. How's it lit up? Is there no windows? No. Maybe they just have, I don't know. I mean. No. There's no windows. Why couldn't they have lights in there, Joe?

Because they've got no room. It seems like there's enough room. They don't have lights back then. There's candles. There's a campfire in there. I saw a few breakdowns of the moon landing too that said it would be way, way, way harder to fake it back then than it would have been to actually just do it.

I've heard that too. But I don't think we're talking about faking going to the moon. You're not understanding what I'm saying. We're talking about faking footage. We're not talking about faking going to the moon. I think they probably did go to the moon. But I would imagine that at least

some of the footage you're seeing is horseshit. From what I, I wasn't obviously alive then, but it was like a 140-minute live stream. Right. So that's hard to fake. No, it's not. No, if you just have people in orbit, it wouldn't be hard to fake. Look, I think it would be harder to go there than it would be to fake it.

I think going there, if they did go there, and I think they probably did, was an unbelievably difficult thing to do. But, like, faking that they were there? How hard would that be? Like after the fact? Like filming footage? Or filming footage of them in orbit? Film is the part. That would have been a mile of film. Joe, it's really interesting to watch. Do you know

that all that shit's missing? You know all the original footage is missing? Yeah, that's the weirdest fucking thing to me, man. Yeah, I mean, I know you do and you're being skeptical guys i looked it up but look it's missing remember when that not only that you know what else is missing the telemetry data all the ones and zeros that show the location of the capsule whatever the it is on the way i thought from what i read they still have that data they just the original like paper it was on the original magnetic tapes got reused because they needed to okay well why would you say that unless you just, why don't you just Google it

and find out that's the case? That's what I read. I read when last time you and Eddie were talking about it. What did you read? I read that the original tapes got written over because they needed the magnetic tape because there was a shortage at some point. Right. So, but still. But the data's still somewhere else. There was a shortage? But still, they recorded over the original

tapes of the fucking moon landing. How much of a shortage of magnetic tape do you have? Were you going to record over all of the video from the motherfucking moon landing? Hey, we got a presidential parade from 76. You want to keep that? Yeah! Keep that!

Keep that's a good one. It's like if you're going through your family's VHS tapes, like, what do you want, Picnic from 82? Yeah, that was when Mikey threw up. Save it, save it. They're saving everything, but they record over the fucking Moonland video? Yeah, who needs it?

Let's just fucking record over the first time in human history. It is literally the craziest thing in human history to ever record over. Right. It is the dumbest thing in human history. I'm not saying they didn't do it. They might have. The official story might be legit.

Casino. But it might not be. Where do you put your money on the moon landing? Because you know what? I'm detecting, Joe. When we first got to be friends, as I recall, you didn't really believe in the moon landing. I didn't believe it at all. And then you went through a phase because of the podcast and having a lot of conversations with different people.

Or something happened where you started shifting your ideas and thinking we did go to the moon no i started shifting my ideas about everything the moon landing is just an example that's an extreme example of a position i took that i think represents there is there is mystery to that story yeah there's a lot of mystery to that story still to this day. There's a bunch of weird shit connected to the moon landing. A lot of it. And people are like, no, there's not. Shut up. No, there is.

There is. There's a bunch of weird shit connected to it. How about the fact that they gave a fucking moon rock to, what was it, the prime minister of Holland? Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins signed on this plaque and they gave this moon rock to this guy in Holland and it turned out to be petrified wood.

It was fake. There's so much weird shit connected to the moon landing that it makes you go like, wow, the creepy speeches that Neil Armstrong gave 25 years after the moon landing.

Talking about uncovering hidden truths, truth-protective layers that are, you know, great deeds that can be done to those who can remove one of truth-protective layers. This is a speech that he gave. There's so much weird shit. But some people say there's alien relics up there.

Those people are ridiculous. There's no evidence of that. But there is evidence that these people are talking really weird about the moon landing. Jamie, can you pull up- Do you know what Clinton said? What? Do you know what Clinton said in his book?

He wrote a book called My Life. And in one of the chapters in My Life, he talks about a conversation that he had with a carpenter when people landed on the moon. He was working in a construction site. Yeah. And the guy said, I don't believe it for a second. Those television fellers, they could fake anything. And he says, back then, I thought the guy was a crank. But after eight years in the White House,

I was starting to think that maybe he was ahead of his time. No shit. This is what Bill fucking Clinton wrote in his book, My Life. Wow. Why the fuck would you ever write that if you were the goddamn president of the United States for eight years and you're saying, hey, maybe the guy who thought we didn't go to the moon was right. Right.

Might not be right. It might be that they faked some footage. They did fake some photos. There's a photo of Michael Collins who's on a moonwalk from like Gemini 15. And it's not a real photo. It's a photo of him from the test runs that they did that's in a warehouse. And they blacked out all the background. It's been proven.

They reversed the image and blacked out the background background. It's been proven. They reversed the image and blacked out the background. You could see the two of them. If you overlay them, they line up perfectly. It's the exact same image. So someone, whether it is an overzealous PR agent for NASA or a journalist at the time, who knows who actually made that photograph, but somebody did and tried to pass that photo off as space. So's some deception we know that one is a hundred percent sure so then you look at the other ones you look at the videos of guys falling down getting yanked back up and bouncing around like they're on trampolines and some videos where they're hiding behind the lunar rover like what the fuck are you doing if you guys tear your suits you're dead sure you guys

are jumping around on the moon like you're having a party up there right is that real right how come i can't get a fucking regular camera through the radar machine the x-ray machine at the airport but you guys can fly through the radiation of space and that shit comes out but well those cameras were insulated there were a different kind of camera the camera was not true hasselbad said it they were the same goddamn cameras right it's a regular camera there was no specific protection there's nothing unusual about kind of camera. The camera was... Not true. Hasselblad said it. They were the same goddamn cameras. It's a regular camera. There was no specific protection. There was nothing unusual about the protection that those cameras had.

It's interesting, man. You've, like, gone back. No, I haven't. I think this is the thing, man. I'm not taking any position. You're agnostic. 100%. Because I don't know anything about space. I don't know anything about the physics of space travel. I don't know anything about space. I don't know anything about the physics of space travel. I don't know anything about the requirements, the technological requirements.

But I do know. It's one of the only things that happened between 1969 and 1972. And it's not cheaper, easier, and faster to reproduce today. It's weird. It's a weird thing. It's a weird thing. It's the only time in history people have been more than 400 miles from the Earth's surface. It was those moon missions.

All the Apollo missions, man. Everything since then, all the space shuttle stuff, inside 400 miles. Satellites or a space station, rather. That's always been a weird thing. You talk to people about that part, and they'll say, like, we just don't need to go there anymore. Maybe we don't.

Maybe they're right. Maybe they're right. They might be right. We don't know, but it's juicy to think they're not right. But it's interesting how rabidly people fight off the notion. Here's the other weird shit about it. The Nazis were running our space program. That's a fact.

Operation Paperclip. Werner Von Braun was a fucking Nazi. Right. They brought all the scientists over, like legit Nazis who would hang Jews in front of their fucking rocket factories in Berlin. Legit. Guys who wear tattoos from the Holocaust identified Wernher von Braun, talked about him being in there. That was the head

of NASA. That was the guy who was trying to get us to the moon. Yeah. Dude, there's a lot of weird shit. See, now you're getting deep into it. It's the Nazis doing some kind of thing where they're trying to fake the moon landing. It's somehow attached to the Nazis. I think the Nazis

were the best rocket scientists available Right or one of them other than the ones that we had here and then the ones the Russians had there was a lot of Competition to get the best rocket scientists, but some of the best rocket scientists were in Nazi Germany So when Nazi Germany fell Operation paperclip took place and in operation operation paperclip They brought a number of Nazi scientists from Germany secretly to America. And one of them they put as the head of fucking NASA! Yeah, this is where it gets

really cool. Someone's explaining all this to me about how basically the thing is like, okay, you think in World War II that we just rounded up all the Nazis and they just disappeared. And it's like, where do you think all the Nazis went?

What about the ones who were really good at making cool shit? Yeah, well, Bayer Aspirin. You know, like the idea is that the Nazis... Bayer Aspirin? Yeah, I'm so sorry to ask, Jamie, but do you mind looking up Bayer Aspirin and Cyclone B? And the Jewish slaves, I think, working for Bayer Aspirin. But when you look at a lot of the ideas that the Nazis didn't really go anywhere, they just started corporations and some of the biggest corporations we have right now.

Do you know why Zyklon B is Zyklon B? Because Zyklon B took the smell out of it. Zyklon A was the stuff that had an agent in it that made it smell terrible so you could smell it. Oh, wow. So when they used it to gas the people in the concentration camps, they changed it so that it was undetectable. So what does it say?

Jamie's quick with the trigger here today. He's getting frustrated with us. It changes the camera so if you guys aren't looking. Oh, sorry. The Bayer Aspen Company has finally apologized for the inhumane acts of its parent firm including using Jewish slave laborers during the Holocaust. Holy shit. Yeah, and there's all kinds acts of its parent firm including using jewish slave laborers during the holocaust holy yeah

yeah and and there's all kinds of examples of this and where it gets really weird is like this is this is one of the great conspiracy theories is i think the bush family is somehow wrapped up in it that's where it gets weird it's like the it ends up getting wrapped into american politics it's like oh do you think that the nazis just, oh, do you think that the Nazis just became rocket scientists? Do you think they just, like, no, they became pharmacists and they started running companies and corporations and they're still here and their descendants have lots of money and to think that they went anywhere is nuts. The Nazis didn't really go anywhere. They just went deep into hiding. They just sank back

into the immune system of society like you know like the way aids hides in different parts of your body they just hid in the shadows and this is one of the reasons people are freaking out about the kind of like um friendly emergence of some people who are like clearly white nationalists who are just kind of like being like interestingly accepted and embraced for, you know, let's at least have a rational conversation about how you want to start a white ethno state, you know, that kind of stuff. Because who's doing that? Well, I mean, isn't this something Richard Spencer talks about? But who's taking that guy and talking to him rationally?

Well, there's these a lot of these people are getting like a lot of airtime. Right. But I think this is a bit of an exaggeration. You're like, maybe you're talking about Steve Bannon, like Steve Bannon got into the White House. A lot of people think that he was, but has he, has it been proven? I mean, it's really easy to call a guy a white nationalist. Has it been proven?

I don't know much about Steve Bannon, quite honestly. I think a lot of, I think, I think some of these people, it's, I think it's like, God, I mean, you're going to, I'm going to get like a fucking, I'm going to get like an avalanche of like, you're a fucking commie. You cuck commie. But I think like, for example, when you look at Trump's reaction, when they were saying, asking about the KKK and he's like, I'm not going to talk shit about this group. I don't really know him. Remember that?

Like, or the fact that a lot of like. Yeah, I think you're paraphrasing. He, I think what he said was uh a little more acceptable but still weird can we look at it it's like a little tiptoeing it's like if someone's like hey kkk what do you think well he also said something about there was people bad behavior on all sides on all sides and that's one of the one of the white nationalist groups picked up on that and said specifically that trump didn't criticize them specifically so this was a good thing the whole thing was very good for them right it's like a white nationalist

group said that but that could have been just him just not doing a good job preparing what he's going to say about something and talking off the cuff which i think he does with most things i think that guy does most of his shit off the cuff. You know, he said that. And one of the things that he said, like, he wrote that book The Art of the Deal, he doesn't make plans. He just goes to work and gets things done and just work off instincts. I don't know. The thing is, like, it's generally like when you think of certain people. Right. Are they a white nationalist? Like, when I think of you, Joe, are you a white nationalist? No. Right. It's just i don't simple

it's simple it's like there's no like well you know i'm not even a nationalist i love america but i'm not a nationalist right exactly yeah so the problem is with some what you don't want this is one thing i don't want i don't want there to be a blurry thing when people think of me about whether or not i'm a white nationalist right you know what i mean like i don't want there to be a blurry thing when people think of me about whether or not I'm a white nationalist. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want there to be a like, well, maybe he does have some kind of ideas that are based around the importance of upholding European culture and making sure that we do everything we can to prevent people from having sex with people from other races i don't want there to be any question but like i have zero problem with everyone humping everybody whenever they want mixing the paints and doing whatever there's no question i don't care like i think it's fine where some sounds like what a racist would say what do you mean trying to like divert attention away from your racism i see what the fuck you're doing dude i see what you're doing, man.

This is virtue signaling, but race virtue. Would you do me a favor? I hate to dwell on this one more time, but you please Google. I want to make sure I'm right about this, that the Hasselblad cameras from the moon landing weren't insulated in any bizarre way. I was looking that up. They were different cameras. They were made specially for that. Well, they were made for this chest thing.

They also had a special film developed by Kodak. Special film? Is that true? Because I've read that it was the exact same film. Moon film. But who says it? Who says it? That's a big breakdown.

I'll look it up. Okay. Petapixel, which is a big film. See, the problem is there's too many fucking, there's too many different people commenting on it that, like me, like I'm muddying the waters myself by not exactly knowing what the fuck I'm talking about. Well, dude, I mean, that's a historic...

What is this? Who wrote this? Petapixel. This is a pretty well-known photo blog. It's a shill site. This is CIA front. Look at the shadows. The lighting. Pull up the lighting. Why is it so well-lit? It's in the shadows. God damn it, there's a guy behind it with one of those big reflector booms.

This is in Nevada. There's a tarp back there. And if you look real close, you could see gum wrappers. Look at all that fake ground. Look how fake that ground looks. Oh, no, man. Look at that shitty tinfoil on that spaceship. Yeah, super likely.

That just landed on the moon. It's just more fun. This is why I abandoned the idea that we didn't go to the moon. It's more fun to think that we That just landed on the moon. It's just more fun. This is why I abandoned the idea that we didn't go to the moon. It's more fun to think that we didn't go to the moon. It's more exciting. So I have to be careful going that way. That's why I changed my opinion on it. Because then I started re-looking

and I'm like, what the fuck do you know about space travel? Almost zero. But what do you know about bullshit? I know I'm good at bullshit. I know about bullshit. And when I watch that press conference, the post- 11 press conference i'm like someone's bullshit something's weird here and i think it's entirely possible that they were forced into uh accepting some stuff that wasn't real and they kind of knew it but that they probably did go to the moon i just don't understand how you're this is like you're back and forth in your head but when i say alien artifacts on the moon right away like no i don't think they leave

shit behind i think if they're smart they uh they clean up have you not seen the clean up you don't fucking wreck on the moon like there's a division of aliens no evidence like the face on mars we've looked at moon really well look at that picture of the spaceship that crashed on the Moon. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's real. You know, that shit looks crazy. Super real. I don't even think they use spaceships. I think they get to a certain point and they just travel through dimensions. I really do. I'm thinking that more and more. I don't think spaceships exist other than

like the really crude civilizations like ours. Look at this. Look at that thing. Relatively. Oh, that's super real. Which one do you mean? The one that looks like it's most drawn with crayon. Look at that. What the fuck is that? What the fuck is roaming? That's an episode of you mean? The one that looks like it's most drawn with crayon. Look at that. What the fuck is that? Who the fuck is roaming? That's an episode of Star Trek, bro.

That looks like a ship. Look at the eyes of a mountain lion behind it. Come on, man. Where do you see eyes? Look at that. This is a fucking volcano. Look, you're just isolating. Look, that's a fucking topographical map.

That's a ship. You're isolating a tiny little area. No. And you're choosing to look at it. That's a ship. How dare you? You could look at anything in Moab, Utah and decide that that you're choosing to look at it. That's a ship. How dare you? You could look at anything in Moab, Utah and decide that that's a spaceship. Look at that.

Yeah, look at that, bro. This is why they don't want to go to the moon. It's the ground. It's the fucking ground. There's a hole in the ground. That's a ship. It's not a ship. And look at that trail.

It's like a bobsled trail or something. You know what's interesting? We look for shit on the moon or in space in general, and a normal thing in space is fucking amazing. Like if we find a microbe on the desert floor, no one gives a shit. Oh, look, it lives in the sand. It's incredible. Nobody's going to pay attention. Yeah.

But if you find something in space and you can prove that this thing exists, it was a living organism, a primitive organism that's on Mars. So we know that some life existed on Mars. Right? And then take it another step further. If you ran into some dude who was jerking off in your apartment building, you just open the wrong door and some dude's in there jerking off and he's screaming at you and he's an old man. He's got a tank top on. What the fuck? And you tell your friends.

We'd laugh at it. But if you found that guy on the moon, just some old dude jerking off on the moon. Imagine if that's what we found. The whole planet would go crazy. We realized that we literally are in a simulation. And this is how we find out. There's a guy on the moon jerking off. And he's got boxer shorts on and socks

with Crocs. And he's just sitting there. He's probably knuckles up, right? He's sitting there hunched back, knuckling up on the moon and he's got dirt but he's got mouthfuls of dirt that's how he gets by that's the creator of the universe he's just gone crazy the creator of the universe went insane now he just jerks off on the moon no it's an old man he looks just like an old man this is like the universe is so infinite that there's an infinite number of possibilities that lives can exist. Like someone was explaining this the other day, that the infinite is so vast that literally

it's entirely possible there is a Darth Vader somewhere, like a real, legit Darth Vader who runs the Empire. Like it's a real thing somewhere. That's how many possibilities exist. So if that's the case, why can't there be a possibility on the moon of an old dude who eats dirt and he's got a tank top with spaghetti stains on it, and he's knuckling up on the moon. We find him.

We have to film him. Front page of the New York Times, they found an old man jerking off on the moon. Do you think they'd tell us? If they found an old man jerking off on the moon, if that's what they find, a space probe lands, and then right in front of him, it's like, fucking look at this, the guy's gray ball hair. I'd love to see that.

I'd like to fucking look at this. The guy's gray ball hair. He's squeezing his balls with his left hand. I'd love to see that. I'd like to see the press conference. Yeah. Half his guts hanging out, spaghetti stains. How did he get spaghetti stains on his shirt? No one knows. No one knows. He's eating dirt on the moon, jerking off onto probes. Now what?

Now what are you going to do? Now what does our civilization do? How do we deal with this? Well, it's the same thing as this Elon Musk car in space. It's you you see the image of that car flying through space you're like wait a minute wait a minute wait is this real yeah is this really going on or am i in a goddamn movie right like what's happening here is this guy really spent a hundred million dollars to shoot a car in a space what the fuck is this sure he's got a camera on it it's broadcasting images right of a mannequin fight what the fuck is going on man cascading levels of absurdity

that's what's happening we're seeing cascading levels of absurdity and like the more that it the more that absurdity happens the more normal it seems and that's kind of this is what I've been thinking is like what what the apocalypse really looks like because everybody thinks when you

think about the apocalypse when I think about the apocalypse I think of meteors volcanoes the classics you know the ocean dying like just cataclysms right right but really it's like more like absurdity starts avalanching into time to the point where things start happening so quickly that we can't even catch up. Like, now we got to deal with the fact there's a fucking Tesla infinitely flying through space. Right, what if it slams into a spaceship that's coming to visit us?

That would suck. Can you fucking imagine? That's bad luck. Can you imagine? It was like the alien overlords are like, they're finally ready. Let us visit. And they come in at light speed.

And then the moment they re-merge from light speed, boom! That would suck, sir. The Tesla comes through the windshield, hits them right in the face, takes the head off the Emperor. Yeah, it's just fucked. Just explosions, just like in Star Wars. Boom, boom, boom. Laura Dern is at the wheel, holding on. Turn around!

That's what happened in the new Star Wars movie. Spoiler alert. Remember when they hit warp speed? They went right through that one jet or that one spaceship? Yeah. That's probably going to happen. Dude, or it hits a meteor that wasn't going to hit Earth and then knocks the trajectory so that it does. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Oh, my God. They didn't even think. Yeah, there is now. Imagine if Elon Musk kills us all with his stupid fucking car flying through space.

Just his fucking car out there. Just grazes an asteroid. Clink. And it just goes, shh. Yeah. Yeah. Right towards LA.

Yeah. We don't know, man. Right. It hits the laugh factory. Boom. That's the center. That's the fucking main place it smashes. Make God laugh.

It's the side of 18 semis. And it hits the laugh factory. Boom. No one can hear. No one can hear. It's so loud. Everyone's ears explode. If you're nowhere near it, your ears explode. If you live in Kansas, your ears explode from the impact.

You're never hearing ever again. No one within a 5,000 mile radius ever hears again. Boom. People in the Bahamas are like, what? What? What was that? I can't hear you. I can't hear you. That's crazy. Like, what? What? What was that? Yeah.

I can't hear you. Yeah. I can't hear you. That's crazy. The earth rings for a million years. That's fucking crazy. They said when the earth got hit by that one that hit the Yucatan 65 million years ago, it rang for a million years. Just a drone?

Just like it got cracked like a gong for a million years yeah dude that's fucking crazy you ever heard the descriptions of how deep they think that thing was in the earth within the first second of impact no it's something bananas like miles deep into the earth within the first second of impact. That's how big that thing was, like a Manhattan-sized chunk. Yeah, man, I love that because that's reality. Isn't that funny? That's the funny thing about existing on the planet is because everybody walks around imagining

that the world that we're living in is permanent and stable. And not just our world, not just society, but your own life. Yeah. Like people walk around through their own fucking life. This is the thing I was thinking about, that terrible, it keeps happening with the Amtrak train crash. Yeah. Because it's like when you think about that, you're just going to work.

Here's the thing that disturbed me the most, and it's disturbed me a lot lately. This is a real issue. People that were on the left were saying that they were happy that it happened, that God had done something to kill these politicians because there was a lot of right-wing GOP people that were on this Amtrak thing. Could you imagine just saying that? Not only thinking it, but saying it on Twitter. You're so confident that you're righteous with your desire to have strangers dead in

a horrible fucking train accident. Somebody died in that accident. And they're like, great, going to heaven. Someone's dad's dead. Someone's mom, maybe. I don't know if it was a male or female that died, but someone's mom dead. Someone's sister dead. And you're like, good, good riddance.

Fuck them. God had a plan for them. Fuck them. Yeah. Like, because they're on the other team. Yeah, dude, that shit's... That's terrifying. That shit's really sad. But it never used to be the left.

That's what's the scariest thing to me. The left was never like advocating violence they were the exact opposite during the the vietnam war they were the hippies they're the people that wanted to bring the troops home they're the people that didn't want war they didn't want violence they didn't want hate they they denounced hate now they're they're like they're like talking about violence being the answer I saw certain certain political movements I saw punch a Nazi I saw a term on reddit that I liked a lot called liberal Baptist have you heard of this so basically the idea is like you know like in fundamentalism

of any sort really like the idea is when you're saying that you're religious it's you're not really interested in another person's soul or saving another person. What you're interested in doing is creating an ethical hierarchy that you can dominate by being at the top of the ethical hierarchy, right? So what you're running into with this shit that you're talking about is people who don't really seem so concerned with how society is supposed to be as much as using

their refined system that they've come up with which is like they call being woke or you know what i mean it's like this is crazy it's hard to even keep up with it right but they use it to try to dominate the people around them by making you scared to speak your mind because the idea is is like you know one of like i i one of my the guests of my podcast that i get fucking yelled at more than anybody else for having on jordan peterson that really pissed a lot of people off that i had him on my podcast why um because they feel they misunderstand him and they think that jordan peterson hates uh transgendered people i think or they think that he's a uh i think that he's they think that he's like alt-right they think that he's like some kind of alt-right spokesman and the truth of the matter is i don't

i don't fully know all of the spectrum of jordan pet Peterson's views on things because it would take me a very long time to do that. I know he's fucking smart. I know it was really cool for him to come on my podcast. And I know we had a really great conversation that didn't really talk about that stuff. Right, but it didn't fit the narrative that they want. The narrative that they want is that he's a hateful person and that he hates transgender people and that he's a bigot and that he's this right-wing, alt-right poster boy, but it's not real.

The problem is people aren't willing to adjust that. Once they stand on that stance, once they have that position that this is, I'm left-wing, this guy's right-wing, he's a pig, he's ruining things, like, that's, they just make up their mind. But can we throw, let me add one thing to this. Okay. Imagine this. Imagine Jordan Peterson, and I don't, don't honestly i don't know but just imagine

there is a piece of him that doesn't for whatever reason like he i don't know i'm again i'm not saying this isn't i have no i i'm not implying it either i'm just saying imagine fucking jordan peterson i don't know i'm trying to think of some offensive thing that he had. Just imagine he had some piece of him that was definitely politically not correct. Right? Okay. That doesn't mean that all the other shit he's saying is invalidated by some piece of him. Because people are made up of lots of different pieces. Well, that's basically, in a way, I'm not categorizing Jordan Peterson the way you categorize Descartes.

But that's what he was saying. Right. That with great people, they also have, what was the word he used? Not great sin, but great, what was the word he used? Do you remember the word? The expression he used? They've got shit. They've got shit.

They've got shit. Yeah. Great flaws as well. Flaws. And this is. Great vicesices that's what he said this is to me where the big fucking problem is is that people have lost the ability to be nuanced and people have and that to me is where things are really fucked up right now which is like you were throwing the baby out with the bath water yes and i'm not saying like oh let's give a platform to people who have like.

Hate speech. Yeah. But the idea that we have gotten to the point now where just like free balling and throwing around ideas, just like we've done all over the place here. I guarantee you when I look at Twitter, there's going to be at least like five people being like, you fucking cuck piece of shit. Only because like i'm throwing around ideas because my hope is through that process i'm gonna get closer to the truth and i'm gonna be able to look at myself like what you said about the cock the coke boy you know what i mean i liked it because you're right and i like what you did even though it's comedic it's funny you're right

dude why am i giving that guy a hard fucking time? What is he going to do? He can't not be born a Coke son. Right. He's like, he can't change his birth. He is who he is. Meanwhile, what is he doing? Is he taking over countries in Africa?

No, he's making cute shirts and he's banging a hot woman. Leave him alone. So that's, so that, but I like, I like that having these kinds of interactions with friends because it helps me adjust. Even though I don't have any real animosity for the coke brother from that kind of thing i can look at my own fucking pattern and be like whoa shit yeah that's like a that's something to think about because i like i could be more compassionate there yeah so my point is what what what ends up happening and what leads to someone who started off being you know who's a who considers themselves part of a group that was

that's trying to stop war, that spawned the hippie movement, and now they're thankful that a train accident happened. That is a result of gradually shutting down their ability to understand that a human is much more than just one fucking thing. Jeff Sessions is not just an anti-marijuana person. Jeff Sessions is probably an elf and a sweet elf at that. And a person who's got a lot of love in him and has done a lot of good things for a lot of people. But also he's got the worst fucking concept of what marijuana is.

And that sucks. But that doesn't invalidate any of the love he's expressed throughout his life. And this is unbearable for some people to deal with because we want a Darth Vader. Well, it's because we are inclined to gravitate towards tribalism. It is a part of being a human being. It's always going to be a part. It's the same reason why those Egyptologists were rejecting these ideas from John Anthony West and Robert Shaw because they weren't a part of the tribe. These new people coming in with some shit that they didn't figure out on their own.

There's a thing that people do on whether it's male versus female. You're seeing a lot of this when it comes to this Me Too stuff. One of the weirdest things that happens is that you start getting this divide where the men are mad at the women and the women are mad at the men. Even people that are non-offenders and non-victims. They shore up on teams. And yes, it's good that people are being exposed for doing bad things to people. But it's also very dangerous for us to just men and women be on opposite teams.

We're humans. We're supposed to be nice to each other. It goes back to what we were talking about earlier. We don't say that enough. I really don't think we say that enough. I really think we need to. It should be reinforced. And it sounds like, oh, it's a fucking great thing. That's your advice, bro Be nice to each other. Yeah. Yes. It is my advice. It's not my only advice, right? I think you should also get your shit together. I think you should have some fucking discipline

Yeah, I think you should eat right. I think you do a lot of things Yeah, I should read books. I think should pay attention things try to educate yourself I think you should try to be aware about objectivity and tribalism I think you should try to educate yourself. I think you should try to be aware about objectivity and tribalism. Where are the influence? But I also think it would be really nice if we all just agreed to be nicer to each other. And just have it as a conversation that the country has.

And then ultimately the world has. But that list of things you just gave before that. Yeah. I think that all fits into the category of being kind to yourself. And I think that the way you're going to learn to be nice to other people is by learning how to be kinder to yourself and being kind to yourself means treating your body better and getting you know that's that's loving yourself and like this is actually one of the things this guy jack cornfield taught me which i like a lot because i was talking to him about man you know i want to get in shape and like i feel bad because i want to be more in shape and he's like okay but the way you're talking about it you're hating yourself right now yeah don't get in shape because you hate who you are right get in shape because you love yourself

enough to want to feel better and to win so just saying that like changes the way i'm looking at it yeah you know what i'm saying like you just saying that like yeah right yeah don't hate your body love it by getting it healthy and then by loving your that's loving yourself it changes the intention around from like i'm gonna destroy my former self and replace it with a better self it's like i'm gonna love this being i am right now and the way i'm gonna do that is by you know what i don't need to have five beers a night you know i don't need to pour the booze into the thing every night as much as I have been. I don't need to smoke cigarettes or I don't need whatever the thing is. And that attitude of like, I'm not doing this because I, I'm not doing this because I hate myself. It's just, this is different ways for me to express love into my own world. own world. And then from that, it radiates out. That's what you did. I mean, that's what you do is like part of what appeals, I think, in you that appeals to people is that you're sort of radiating this like way of being that offers a lot of people a sense of like, oh shit, I could probably do that. I could probably do that. And it draws people in. So this

kindness that you're talking about it's contagious yes it is contagious yeah and it should be and it's our cultures operate on the momentum of the people that are in them right Nazi Germany is a good example so is Denmark so is Norway I mean it's really interesting cultures that are very different from other cultures China is very different from Ethiopia I mean they we vary widely in the way we behave. And I think there's a bunch of different styles of being a person. And I think the problem is, and this is a problem that I had as a young man, I had an ultra competitive issue. I was competitive with my friends. I was competitive

with other men. I was competitive. I would shit on people that I didn't know look at this fucking loser You know like it's a natural thing that young men go through and it took me until I was probably in my early 20s till I realized how toxic that was and I moved myself out of it and instead started celebrating people around me I changed my vibe. That's it because I was Very flawed as a young man, but also super hyper self-critical. So my hyper self-critical, I always wanted to be a better version of myself, but, and I would, I wouldn't do it the right way. Like it was Jack Kornfeld's idea. Who's Jack Kornfield, Jack Kornfield's idea. I didn't do it the right way. I didn't

do it his way. I did it the way that a barely educated 21-year-old man who's mostly just read books on combat sports and fighting philosophy and psychology. I had a very limited amount of information in my head, but I realized there was some flaws in the way I was thinking. And I realized I was spending all this energy getting mad at people that I didn't know, hating people that had things that I didn't have. And I realized I was spending all this energy getting mad at people that I didn't know, hating people that had things that I didn't have. And I was sitting around thinking about this once, and it was as I was becoming more successful as a martial artist. I was realizing that one of the things that was holding me back before was my mind. And it wasn't just my physical talent and my skills, which also got better.

But it was also that I had a better way of approaching competition than I had when I was younger because I didn't carry as much anxiety I was I was still anxious but less anxiety because I was more at peace with being around all these different people instead of like fuck this guy who's this fucking guy I changed my strategy and I changed who I am and then as I got into comedy I was alleviated by the actual real threat of competition which greatly relaxed me right it was a giant weight lifted off my back but that carried a little bit of that in the early days of stand-up i would look at other comedians like fuck this guy right i get jealous of guys that were doing successful i that were doing well rather that were successful i got jealous of guys who were funnier than me like why is he fucking

funnier than me it was it was a stupid thought process and it it took me until I was like 22, 23. I started realizing I got to snap out of this. This is unhealthy. I'm wasting this energy where I should be concentrating on positive things. So I started supporting my friends. I started being a more complimentary person. I went out of my way to just be nicer to people. Be nicer to people not because they could do something for me, just to be nice.

It feels good to be nice. And i just slowly cultivated a better philosophy and it took me a while man it took me until i was in my 20s till i really like as i was like getting closer to 30 is when i started really getting good at it with comedy you know like bringing comedians on the road helping people yeah that's right foster other careers, telling kids that were like seven years before, you know, behind me, like they started out seven years after me. I'm seven years ahead of you. You can do this. Anybody can do this. Just do it.

Just do it. And if you fuck up, learn from that fuck up, get better. This is the thing that you can do. You're a funny person. All you have to do is just keep doing this. And you already made it. Yeah. Well, this is the, so this thing that you're do you're a funny person right you just all you have to do is just keep doing this yeah and you're gonna you already made it yeah you know this is the so this thing that you're talking about the thing that i've that the ramdas people teach me which is invaluable and uh to me and it really inspires you it's like they talk about ramdas guru nim corolli baba and how when

he was teaching he never said here's what this is going to do for you. He was never like, this is how it's going to help you. He was always saying, here's how this is going to help the people in your life. And so the moment you make that little shift where working on yourself, as it's called, is not about doing something so that you can fucking have a fucking six pack and get laid but the moment you start doing scarf on yeah in a cowboy right at worth shaving shaving your stomach but but the moment you start fucking doing this stuff because you know that it's going to directly help the people around you in ways you can't even imagine like you don't even know yet because there's gonna be a moment in every single

person's life where someone comes up to you who's in a lot of trouble and they need help and it might not be money it might not it might just be something you could say to them it might just be something you need to be lucid in that moment and because you've been like you know not paying attention and you're blurry and you're angry and you're fucking shut down that you're not even going to see that person. That person is going to just be another face in the crowd that you don't even see. But that's the whole point is like this practice, your practice, it ends up helping so many fucking people. helping so many fucking people. And if you want to get excited about something,

at least for me, what makes, it's really kind of difficult for me to get super excited over like, I don't know, some kind of like thing that's like going to give me an extra thing. It's way less exciting than to think that like, shit man,

if I can be more calm and more connected, then the next time I'm around somebody I love and get angry, I'm not going to hurt them because I'm learning how to not react to my own bullshit. Right. You know, getting better at life. Yeah. And it's through trial and error.

I mean, that is a trial error, honesty. And you also have to realize that we're not all coming from the same starting block. You know, some people came from abusive childhood. and you also have to realize that we're not all coming from the same starting block you know right some people came from uh abusive childhoods some people came from super supportive and loving childhoods some people were spoiled as children and that's what they're they're the people that struggle the most sometimes you've seen uh kids that grow up in like really rich families where the parents weren't hands-on they're so disconnected they feel really weird and titled and they have a very distorted version of the future.

And those people, it's very hard to adjust from a place of bounty to a place of struggle and success and self-realization. It's almost more difficult for some of those people. That's compassion. Look at me growing up as a person who didn't have money and thinking as when I was a child and my family was on welfare. I still can remember, at least I have an idea of a memory of us drinking powdered milk. I remember that. I remember being really embarrassed if people would come over our house. We had powdered milk.

We were poor, you know. And that memory of being a young man, of being a struggling young comedian, doing a bunch of odd jobs, trying to make it, like this real hunger and worry. I remember one of the most embarrassing moments of my young life. I had this thing fall out. It was like some management company was interested in me, and they were like a music management company, and they were thinking about branching off into comedians this guy was talking to me about it and it was falling apart and i was driving with my girlfriend and i was 21 and the whole thing was so frustrating to me that i started crying wow tears rolling and i remember she looked over me she's like are you crying i was like yeah fuck yeah and she's like oh like she was like mocking the fact that I was crying.

Oh, my God. She couldn't help herself. You know, she was the same age. We were both, like, 21. Right. We were both kids. You know, and she just thought it was a bitch move. Yeah.

Just to be crying about being frustrated about your career. And I remember being so embarrassed. Like, why did I let that out to her? Like, why did I let that out in public? Yeah. This frustration of not knowing where the future lies but that frustration and that hunger of like wanting to figure out a way to get out of this cycle of working shitty jobs and figure out how to do something that i actually love doing like be a

comic like that that burning hunger because you don't have shit that's where it all comes from when you don't know where the fuck you're going to pay your rent right you do you do not have an escape route there's no net you got to figure this fucking thing out man and you're not figuring it out right now right now it's falling apart and nobody nobody thinks you're any good you can't get booked like fuck you're trying to figure out what's the next job you're going to get so you could feed yourself while you try to figure out this weird thing that nobody could really tell you how to do yeah you know but that going through that struggle that is everything but people need to hear that you

went through it too. They need to hear that during the dark days where it doesn't seem like it's ever going to work out. Are you alive? Can you see? Can you talk? Can you think? Get better. Get better. Get better at whatever you're doing. Just get better. So you suck at it now. Everybody sucks at everything when they first start. That's the whole thing about getting good at something. But if you love it and you're really honest don't lie to yourself don't lie to yourself look at it for what it is look at it for what it is and work on it whatever the fuck it is whether it's writing books or making music or composing uh computer code whatever the fuck you want to do if you suck at it get better right but look at it for what it is Look at it for really what it is and that's one of our biggest problems One of our biggest problems is that people have a really hard time looking at things for what they are if they're not flattering

That's right. Yeah, they want to think I'm fuck this guy fuck this guy's a pussy You know that guy it shot a fucking rocket into space with a car on it Okay, and he did it with his mind. He figured out how to make these calculations. He figured out how to make enough money so he could shoot a car in a space. If you don't respect that, he's digging tunnels under L.A. They're letting him dig tunnels.

There's an earthquake-ridden area, and this motherfucker's digging holes in the ground. We're worried about fracking, but we're like, Elon Musk's got it. He says it's not going to cause an earthquake. It's not going to cause an earthquake. Yeah.

We're worried about people fracking. We're not worried about Elon Musk turning our fucking city into Swiss cheese. Yeah. But you know, man, the thing is that the guy you're creating an image of, the guy who's like, fuck Elon Musk or that guy, that's real. That's me. I was 21. Right.

Fucking queer. And you felt like queer and you felt like that's the important thing is like that that's all coming from feeling like and when you get around somebody who's acting like that if you've looked into yourself enough to see where you feel like and then you get around somebody and you realize like oh this person who's like being a complete fucking cunt to me right now feels like shit yeah and this is the i went to see the dalai lama in anaheim and you're partying with ram das the dalai lama well this was like not partying with i would love to party with a fucking dalai lama i would love that i really might nubify my cock if i got a chance to party with a Dalai Lama.

In space forever? It's another thing to talk about. I'd do any, I'd love to be around that guy, man. Just cause like, when he was like so far down in this massive place, this little guy,

you could feel his, the energy rushing off of this guy into the room. Were you tripping? Maybe. But anyway, but anyway, the thing that he said that has stuck with me is he's like...

One of the things he says is so simple, and it reminds me what you're saying now, is he said, you can always be kinder. And then the other thing he said, and it sounds so simple, but really people don't realize that, you can always be kinder in any moment. And then the other thing he said is if someone's being unkind to you it's not them being unkind to you it's an echo is what he said like it's literally an echo of the the unkindness people being cruel to them throughout their lives and that shit is bouncing off of them like sound it's bouncing onto you and so when you get around someone who's like being a shit what you're really experiencing is that there you're a lot of sorrow from a lot of places you don't know and that doesn't mean you're supposed to lay back and let them like spit on you or be a

shithead to you or whatever but it also it helps you find a little bit of compassion. That's all. Just so you can be with that person and let them be what they are without adding more suffering to it. Right. Yeah. Which only compounds the situation. Well, you have to learn how people are responding to that behavior too and adjust accordingly and do the hard work and look at yourself. And when people get super self-indulgent, one of the things

they do is they don't think about how other people are experiencing them. If you're around people like, fucking the fucking worst luck always fucking happens to me. Same thing every day. I'm at work. Fucking boss knows it. It wasn't Mike that put in the work. I put fucking 65-70%

of the work Yeah, those people are gross you like I gotta go man, I can't when people start go which they do What is the worst thing people do to you when they go? What should I do? What do you think I should do man? I need some advice. I need some advice. Hey, hey No, you don't. That's not what's going on. You want me to talk about you. You're making me focus on you 100%. You're not asking me for help. You're not doing a goddamn thing for yourself.

You're not helping yourself at all. What you're doing is making me concentrate on you. Hey, bro, I'm fucking really feeling depressed right now. Well, do something about it. I'm not saying don't reach out to your friends, but I'm you got to do something to man you can't just always talk about your problems man I can talk about my problems you didn't want to hear them cuz that's all you talk about yeah was your whole life a

problem right Jesus Christ maybe that's the way you're thinking maybe that's the way you're behaving the way mapped out your life I'm not saying that you shouldn't be there for your friends when issues arise. And certainly all of our friends are super supportive. We've all gone through some weird shit in our lives. We've all been super supportive. But if I'm super supportive to you, I know you're super supportive to yourself. I know you're working on yourself too. You're not just relying on me.

Hey, bro, what should I do today? What should I do tomorrow? What do you think? If you could sit down here with me for a few hours and map out my future, I would really appreciate it, man. Because it's just fucking hard out there for me, bro. You got it easy, Duncan. This is bullshit, dude. You're fucking, you know, man, you got a good head start.

You're a white guy from North Carolina. Fuck you, dude. It's what it is, man. They just come up with these toxic excuses for why their life is shit without ever looking inward and they want you to admit your privilege and admit your advantages bro how about you duncan yeah well you fucking admit it was easier for you than it is for me all right but my dad's an asshole but the question is like because i know exactly what you're talking about and i know that person and, and I know what that is. Everybody does.

But when I run into you with that, is there's a part of me that, and I know sometimes you just have to put someone, you have to avoid their presence. I thought you were going to say put them on blast. I thought you were going gangster. Not put them on blast. No. Because it doesn't work. That doesn't work. But maybe it does for you. I don't know.

It doesn't work. They just get mad at you but right so but there is a thing of like I This is where I might just be fucking naive or crazy or one took over the line Sweet I believe that with anybody that you're around if you've cultivated Love like if you can really love them even in the midst of that cyclone of bullshit that you're talking about, if you could look through the cyclone into their soul, like into what they are that's love and see that and love it, then the cyclone will start calming down a little bit right in front of you. I think it's possible.

I think it's possible. And this is why I think it's fucking worth figuring out a way to cultivate this shit that you're talking about so that when you get around a turd cyclone like that you know that you you actually you become potentially the person who like not by giving them money or giving them advice but just by giving them love and letting them be this cyclone of shit for a second and loving it for real you might be the thing that that just like musk's fucking tesla hits the meteor and sends it into earth you might be the thing that dings the meteor of their life and prevents the catastrophe that they were spinning towards it's entirely possible but it's also entirely possible that like most things in life you need a lot of various elements you don't just need one person that you cling to you need to look

at humanity as a whole you need to seek inspiration in the great work of others and you need to look at yourself in a way that you think maybe perhaps other people look at you and that is something that a lot of people don't do and that lack of introspection and self-critical thinking is one of the reasons why people don't change right because they don't adjust and that lack of introspection and self-critical thinking is one of the reasons why people don't change right because they don't adjust right like you're not the guy you were 10 years ago i've known you for a long time you're a better version thanks because you've adjusted yeah i mean not that you were bad then i loved you back then you were awesome but you're you're more together more philosophical more at ease with yourself person than you were 10, 15 years ago.

Yeah. Like when we were living together. And we lived together when you were at a down spot. Yeah. You're a totally different human now. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, and that's the thing, man, because you were like in those moments

when you were like, when we're riding in my fucking Mini Cooper and I'm trying to listen to Elliot Smith and you know I'm depressed. And you're like, dude, what are you listening listening to what the fuck are you listening to i'll never forget that and i'll tell you man in my head i'm like what a dick you know what i mean what i was definitely being the dick yeah but but but the what what that was was like the it was what you were doing is helping me like get out of that vibration that i was you were

wallowing in it yes and i needed in it and i didn't in those moments when you were doing that shit i was like in my head resisting and i'm like you know but that's the other thing when you decide to help somebody in that way you can't expect it's going to happen their shift or change is going to happen instantaneously but because of that i still to this day when i put on elliot smith i think of that moment man i still i hear your voice in my head going going duck it what are you doing because you know what i mean because because and i'll tell you why man because sometimes you sometimes you can listen to Elliot Smith and not be wallowing, and it's just really pretty and sweet. But don't listen to that shit if you're wallowing because it's like it's only—

Don't feed the wallow. Don't feed the wallow. Yeah, don't feed that wallowing spirit inside of you. You don't need to feel that. Everybody experiences loss, and everybody experiences bad moments. You're just going to. You're never going to get life perfect, right? is lost and everybody experiences bad moments you're just going to you're never going to get life perfect right so during these bad moments what you got to realize is just accept it feel it

get through it realize it's a journey that you're going to get through but yeah realize that there's better ways to navigate it than some and some ways are really bad heroin's a really bad way to navigate it you start doing heroin and start fucking listening to elliot smith and go holding a knife over your stomach in the middle of your fucking bedroom going fuck it man fuck it man you can't do that you can't do that well you can you can but it's not it's not the healthiest way to go that's going to give people around you and you yourself the most joy it's it's not necessarily selfish it's self-indulgent for sure i I don't necessarily think it's selfish. I think it's just, it's, it's a pattern of behavior that you can get trapped in. And I think we've all been in bad situations where you just feel like shit.

Like you get in a pattern of behavior and you feel trapped, but you gotta, you gotta learn from other people who have been through those patterns and learn from your own experiences getting through patterns. Yeah. Cause you get, you will. That's the thing man it's like when you get around someone who's like a teacher figure like you or you get around someone who's no who's like really doing it from love and not trying to fucking like fuck with you because that's that can happen that's the worst or be superior to you or

right right like put you down and yeah put you down when you get around somebody who's like doing it out of out of love there is such a massive difference in in the way that feels and in what they do quite often or what a lot of my teachers do which is really fucking cool because like in the same way you've seen me kind of go shift you know a lot of my teachers from the ramdas camp like in the beginning when i was actively trying to offend them because that was what i would try to do is like just be funny not be funny because i was thinking if i can offend these people about the practice they're teaching me and they're like hey you can't say that or that's blasphemy or anything like that then i know to get the out of there because it's like you know what i mean because

you were you were calculated yeah i was calculated with one with one of my teachers ragu i would like his name's ragu like the spaghetti sauce well it means it means a different thing in the fuck it does change your name bro oh it's me change it my name is spaghettios but listen bro don't think about it like that and my master spaghettios taught me what the fuck did you say? He's amazing. And like in the same way you're doing that with him, the same way you're doing that with him, I would try to do that with like their teachers. And I would try to do that too because I was like, fuck it.

If they get mad at me, then I know. If there's a thing where I don't like blasphemy, I don't like the idea I can blaspheme, man, that fre the fuck out but it was like when even corley baba you know they tell me these stories and i'd be like you know i just don't i just don't really believe that man like i don't know if that it's i don't know if i believe that shit and ragu i still remember saying that walking in this at the retreat with him in hawaii and he gets a big smile on his face he's like yeah yeah don't blame me for not believing it it's like whoa cool man this is fucking cool yeah and like it's that that's the so when you get around a real teacher what i'm saying is the place that you're at they let you

be there but they're not like in the sense that they're letting you do the pattern that you're in but by allowing that to happen in its own way and then adding to it the intention of like, I think I'm going to help you grow here. That's when you really start changing. Not when someone's like you, when you were in the car and listen to Elliot Smith and you were fucking recognizing in me a lot of sadness and a lot of fucked upness. You weren't scolding me dude you were giving me love but the way you were giving me love was by making fun of me in this really sweet way and it worked you know what i mean it was it was so that's the thing that's what a real teacher does and that's why it's like you know to learn how to get to that spot is one of the most important things you could do.

Well, it's also, from a selfish standpoint, when you have a good friend that is all of a sudden looking for a place to live, and then they could live with you, it's cool. It's fun. Right. But it also feels really good to help somebody and to help somebody that you love and you really care about. So, I mean, I don't even think I thought about it for three seconds. When you called me up and you were in a hotel room, I go, dude, come live with me. It was like instantly.

There was no hesitation. It was like, hey, Duncan's living with me. Instantly, I was like, you got a place to live, dude. You never have to worry about having a place to live. I wanted you to, you know, and also you were, I've had a lot of people that I've offered the tank to. Anytime you want, come on by, you can use the tank. You were the only guy who used it on a regular basis. Like when Tate lived with me, he didn't touch that fucking crazy thing.

He's like, fuck this. He might have got in there once, I don't know, but that was not his style at the time. But you were in there all the time, and you were writing journals and shit when you get out of there. We would talk about it. You would talk about your inner voyage when you'd go in that tank and just think about your life and how you're, you know, what you're doing and what happened and what went wrong and where you're headed to. And just look, man, the fucking stress of trying to be a professional comic, it fucks you and you know how i know

it fucks you because it fucks me every two years every two years when i abandon my act and put out a special and i have to write a whole new one and i'm goddamn sweating just thinking about it right now like tom segura's going through that right now ari's going through that right now that's that's the shedding of of all you've got yeah and then you got to start from scratch it's fucking terrifying again and that's the thing that makes you keep growing yeah thing that makes you keep growing but when you're when you haven't had any success like when you were in the beginning of your career and it just hadn't happened yet you're like you don't really believe it can happen but once you do have it happen then you go oh i see you just got to get through that

but dude the thing you're talking about with the comedy it's it applies to everything and it's like the it's because what you're talking about someone was telling me like if a snake doesn't successfully at its skin, it dies. And so a person is the same way in the sense that many of us cling to ways that we were thinking that's who we still are when we're not. And you have to learn what parts of yourself to let go of. And you have to have the guts to fucking let go of it and dude that is one of the craziest things when you really have a thing that you've become attached to for a lot of people it's a relationship that sucks you end up in a bad relationship bad job you end up just attached to some version of yourself that you just aren't anymore that's not

who you are right you gotta let go of that you gotta let go of it and and and letting go of it is death it's a form of death it feels like death and so people want to avoid it and what ends up happening is you run into people who are just fucking don't even realize that they're valets who are just fucking don't even realize that they're valets covered in bags from all these previous, they're hoarders. And they won't let go of all these things, all these ways they used to be. So that's the, what I've learned is that through this act of like scanning the self or looking into the self, you'll find places where you're stuck, where you're stuck. Like, for example, you were saying, oh, I get jealous.

I was getting jealous of these people. I was getting jealous. Well, you were stuck there. That was the place. It wasn't just jealous. It was worse than that. It was toxic. Like, I didn't like them. Yeah.

I was mad at them. Yeah. You were stuck. Yeah. And you were attached. And you were like, and that attachment was making you feel heavy.. Yeah, you were stuck. Yeah, and you were attached and you were like in that attachment was making you Unhappy miserable heavy heavy. The feeling is literally not just that week. We felt weak Well, if you're those what really bothered because all the energy that's being put in no no no weak in my judgment of myself

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, not not weak like tired like didn't have the energy weak Weak like, oh, you bitch. You bitch. You're just jealous. You're jealous. That's you? That's you now? Yeah. I know, man. And these are like, you know like when, fuck, dude, when you get a really bad muscle spasm,

and then you go to a masseuse, and that moment when the thing finally gives way, and you're like, oh my, that place in your back that hurts so bad suddenly just feels like your back again yeah and you're like ah well the the same thing happens with suffering so the suffering in a lot of people's lives they're repeating suffering that's a karmic muscle spasm and and it's like until you literally push into it and the same way you get rid of a muscle spasm and and it's like until you literally push into it and the same way you get rid of a muscle spasm it fucking hurts man Right until you like get the blood flow going back into that place and really fucking go deep into Why do I get jealous? You know for me the thing I just figured out That's haunted me is just jealousy in relationships it's like why do i do this

what is this this is just like you're saying it's weak it's not a good look i don't like it and it's indulgent like while you're doing it you realize it's gross yes and you keep doing it yes and you're like oh my god i'm being a bitch i'm gonna keep going yeah no you fucking texted him first yes that joe that it's so humiliating and so embarrassing and so fucked up and so brutal to the person you're with yeah so like that thing i've figured i've figured out how to let i want to say let it go it's the illusion i'm not putting out there that you can conquer you know eternally parts of your identity or whatever but i've been able to let that go and that feeling of really being able to let it go wow man that's to me that's one of those monumental things when you can start dropping these things yeah and it's different for everybody

everybody's got their own fucking muscle spasm but you'll know what it is you know what any people listening to it right now you know what it fucking is we are incredibly uh so we we are incredibly susceptible to patterns incredibly susceptible yeah and if you have a pattern of weakness and you accept it over and over again yeah it can define you yeah and you have to be really careful of that you got it well yeah and but and what's the beauty of it though is the very fucking thing that's hurting you like that. It's also simultaneously the thing that's like you're that it's your fuel for improvement. Yeah. It's like you're turning your trap. This is such a cheesy thing that I thought I said. And I'm not I'm never going to like make it a blog post or anything.

So forgive me. But I did think about this. It's turning your trap into a trampoline. It's like you find this fucking... Are you a self-help speaker? Honey, I am. I can see you right now in a theater with a big screen behind you. It's turning your trap into a trampoline. Now give me your money!

I know, that's why I deserve to be made fun of for it and I'm not going to ever use that in a book or in a blog post or anything but I really do like the concept of finding the place you're stuck and realizing that that's not a place you should avert your eyes from. But in fact, more than likely, that's a door. That's a fucking door. And you can go through that door into a whole new existence where you're no longer horrified by yourself.

And that is really exciting. It's a really fucking wonderful moment. You know, not just in comedy, but I think in anything. It's always a powerful thing to improve. That's one of the things that's good about doing things that you're not good at. Is that you get the opportunity to see

what happens when you work at something and then you improve. And I think that applies to everything. I think if you learn how to play a game and get really good at a game, I think that figuring things out in your mind, how to get good at this game, applies to life.

I think you could get caught up in a game where chess or whatever it is becomes your whole life and then it's almost too much. But you could also use things like chess or a lot of different things. People have a heavy prejudice against video games but but this it's been absolutely proven that video games can enhance many aspects of the way people think and problem solve it's been proven i mean there's studies

don't doing that people are doing on it but we associate video games with wasting time slacking off being a loser meanwhile jamie what the fuck were you just telling me the other day about how much money these guys make when they're playing Twitch? Thousands of dollars a day, if not hundreds of thousands a month. Hundreds of thousands of dollars a month playing fucking video games. How is being a lawyer better than that, you fucking asshole? Is it about making money? What is it about?

Because these Twitch guys got you beat, fuckface. You're out there just making people get divorced and raking in the cash. This guy's shooting aliens on Twitch and he's making way more. You're a loser. He's flying private. He's got Gucci shoes.

He's got a diamond-crusted Rolex and he plays video games. Do you understand how crazy that is? You're over there working on family law. Do you watch Twitch? No. See, that's the thing, man. I'm a grown man.

I have things to do, bro. Oh, my God. The hypocrisy! I play a lot of games, man. I only have so much time. I play pool. I shoot archery. I do jiu-jitsu.

First of all, you've got to watch Twitch just for the sake of the podcast. I definitely don't. Thanks, though. Just so you know, for the podcast, you don't have to. But you need to look so that you could see how, one, how it sounds when you hear about it. I remember when I first heard about it, I'm like, that, there's no. I've seen Mighty Mouse do it. It's really entertaining. Yeah.

And it's really funny. And it's like when you're looking at the community that forms around these people, then you realize, man, there really is something really soothing and addictive about watching this. Dude, have you seen that Twitch guy who trolls people in, what's it called? MySpace? What's that world? What? No, no. It's like VR chat.

Not VR chat. This dude goes into different video games playing a character and trolls people inside the games. And it's some of the funniest fucking shit you've ever seen. Like he goes into what second life he goes into second life, somehow makes it into a, like a enclave of people playing the part of bikers in there. And he goes in there and they're like they're acting like bikers so they're like how'd you get in here and he's like i don't know i'm

just you know i'm here he's like that has this very calm voice like you need to get out of here and he's like i i you know i i'll come i'm gonna go but i'll be back tomorrow and they're like no you will not be back here tomorrow you are not coming back this is our place are you allowed to show that can you show that? I was looking up Second Life isn't allowed on Twitch for some reason. But this, it's a streamer. Look up Second Life This is our place. I don't know if

you'll even be able to find it. This is our place. Dude, it is the funniest shit ever. So there's a video that he recorded and then he put it online so people can watch it? Yeah, and he trolls shit tons of people this way, man man if you find it I love it I found a video that says extreme angry extreme angry Ranger for a hilarious trolling is that probably a second life briefing is what can I see it yeah I don't know what it

is right away no that's it's him I think it's probably him but go back and look up this is our place biker second life troll I may be someone on Twitter can help us find it because it's like a pretty famous troll video But it's like the funniest fucking shit man like I've watched it a million times I'm looking on Twitter right now to see was there ever trolling before the internet Is this it dude? I think I think that's it, man. Second life. It's one of them. What's the one... So she's talking?

Yeah, but this is a different one. What's the one in the... Yeah, that's his second life. Hold on, what's that one? Are you going to come to a fucking MC motorcycle club? He's using the abbreviation. Let me tell you something, Story. I am famous.

I have a reputation that precedes me. You can go anywhere and you can mention my name. And they will tell you exactly who I am. I am famous. You know why? Because haters make me famous. And people that can't be like me. That's not him.

That's amazing, though. What's the one in the lower, in the first suggestion right there? I was hooked already. Anyway, the point is, dude, watching video games is a fucking blast. I wish I could find it. It is. It's weird. Look, watching games is a blast.

I like watching. That's that guy. Dr. Disrespect. Yeah. There's a lot of things that's interesting. I like watching people play pool. I do. Right.

I don't even play golf, and I like watching people play golf because they're talking. What should I do? What should I do? You think he's going to make it? Yeah. I think he's going to fuck up. Look at him. He's sweating.

It's fun. Yeah. It's fun. The thing about video games is you can do it from the first person. Yeah. You can look at it sweating yeah it's fun yeah it's fine the thing about video games is you can do it from the first person so you can look at it from their perspective yeah and it's fucking crazy to watch man i went to i went to the um blizzcon you know blizzard has blizzcon like and like i i was lucky enough to get in there man i got to watch like uh esports i got to watch people playing starcraft in an auditorium and it was awesome and the energy in there was so intense how many people were there i don't know hundreds

hundreds it was like tons man these were like famous players dude these are like world renowned korean starcraft masters and like when they're the and if you know anything about Starcraft and you see what they're doing It's incredible, and it's just like with you know the applause the fucking like people are like yes Well, it's super complex so fun to watch that's what I'm talking about with is people that have these prejudices about video games They're super like video games especially like Starcraft, they are super complex. They require multi-level thinking. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. You can't fuck, you can't just play Starcraft. Not against those guys. I mean, I've seen you play it before too and I'm like, what are you doing?

You're moving shit around. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, oh, I'm setting this up and this is for later. I'm like,

what? I know. Like, what is this? I tried to return to it. Talk about like, feeling old. Go back to try to play Starcraft after a couple of expansions have come out and you're just like i can't what the fuck

man i have to learn you don't have that kind of time i don't have that kind of time to like learn how to do fucking zerg rushes again i don't see i liked oh my god this is at like the o2 arena it looks like opening ceremonies in seoul for 2014 league of legends oh my God. This is at like the O2 Arena, it looks like. Opening ceremonies in Seoul for 2014 League of Legends. Oh my God, it's a football stadium. Yeah. It's like a giant soccer stadium. So badass. Oh my God, it's filled with people.

That's like 50,000 people there. Yeah. That's cool, man. That's insane. It's so big in Korea, huh? Holy shit, dude. Look at all those people look at the size of the place too

why isn't that caught on like that here there's an overwatch league they just started this week or this month that's in Burbank at like the old Johnny Carson theater that's cool dude when I was addicted to Quake I would watch demos all the time

from this guy named Thresh see if you could find Thresh Quake, I would watch demos all the time from this guy named Thresh. See if you could find Thresh Quake. There was this kid, God, I wish I remember his name. I think his last name was Fong. Dennis Fong, there it is. Dennis Fong. He was the best. And while he was playing, before he retired,

he was the best. He was so good that people would watch his demos and try to emulate his moves. And what he would do was he would figure out a map absolutely perfectly. So he'd have these one-on-one duels. And this is another thing that's surprisingly complex, is playing duels. This is Quake 1 that we're looking at here.

Oh, no, it's not. It looks like Quake 3. Hold on. It's Quake 1 Tournament. Is it? Oh, is it a new version of it? Oh, no, it's definitely Quake 1. Okay.

So because you see the shotgun shells and shit like that. There's all different stuff. There's rocket launchers. Yeah. This didn't have a rail gun. The rail gun changed a lot of shit in Quake 2. But the point being that you would have these strategies because you had a map and it would all be about controlling the respawns. So, all of the items, whether it's a rocket launcher or a shotgun or whatever the fuck it is that you're picking up, and the ammo, all of it would respawn as well as the health.

So it was all about controlling where the respawn is, keeping your health up really high, and then making sure your opponent never gets any good weapons. Right. And so it was really strategic, and they'd chase each other around the map. This one dude just fucked everybody up. I mean, and he lost a couple times too when he was starting out, but he eventually got to a point where he was like the Michael

like right there. Boom. He sees that guy. Boom. Jacks him. He knows where you're going. He's firing rockets down hallways. He anticipates you're going to be going down. And when you would watch these guys play, you see like right there. That guy was there and he's just waiting for him. Boom. Boom. He just killed for them. Boom, boom.

And he just killed that dude. And I would watch these guys in these demos and try to learn from like how they were maneuvering. There's another guy called Fatality. He was really good at it. And there was different games that guys would play too. There was this game and some guys went over to Unreal and they played Unreal tournament. Unreal, I remember Unreal. He's got the armor.

See, and every time it respawns, he's going to be running back there to get that armor, running back there to get the shotgun shells, making sure that his opponent doesn't have a rocket, and you just keep killing them. And then when he respawns, you chase him down, kill him again, or weaken him. These are fucking really complex, multi-level games. You have to think in advance, and you have to plan things out. And guys would even have timed

things that they would put in a program so that it would show on their screen, rocket launcher respawning in 10 seconds, 9, 8, and they'd run after it. It's crazy how when this came out, it was so badass and now it looks

so ancient. It looks weird, but go to Quake, What is the Quake 4 one? What is the new Quake one? Quake Tournament? What is it? Quake Champions? I think it's called Quake Champions. There's one you can play online now. I think it's called Quake Champions. Came out last year.

Oh, it came out last year? Now watch this shit. Arena. That's what it is. Quake Champions Arena. Is that it? But look at the fucking graphics now. But it is. Quake Champions Arena. Is that it? But look at the fucking graphics now. But it's the same kind of concept. Right.

So, you know, this guy is playing a one-on-one against someone, and there's these crazy maps. This looks badass. Oh, amazing. When was the last time you played Quake? Forever, dude. I'm terrified. You got to get back in there. No.

No. Daddy's got problems. It's like you're watching people. I'm too crazy, dude. I'm telling. You got to get back in there. No. No. Daddy's got problems. It's like you're like watching people. I'm too crazy, dude. I'm telling you, I can't do this. I used to play this shit for eight, ten hours a day. I told you I got a T1 line installed in my fucking house. The way you're looking at it is so fucking funny, dude.

Okay, I just nailed him with a real gun. Yeah, I had a real problem. Wow. So I prefer archery and a bunch of other things that I get addicted to, but I could easily get addicted to this again. Yeah. It is so fun. It looks super fun.

I suck at shooters, though. But you don't. You just don't play them. Listen, if we decided to do that, would you come and play it here? Yeah, of course. Okay, what we're thinking about doing is we have a conference room that I'm thinking about turning into a LAN party room. Oh, cool.

And have it set up. We'll set up Quake games, and then maybe we'll host a server and let a certain amount of people online. Yeah. And then we could have what you call a death match. I'll come and play. Death match is like you have ten people on a map, and they're all just going crazy.

And you respawn with all your shit. Dude, let's do that. Let's do it. But what about, why don't we pick up a new one like this this fucking game you can do 100 people in this game it's called battlegrounds or something battlegrounds yeah man this game looks badass i don't want real physics i don't want to move around like i move around in real life that's the thing about quake is you move way quicker than you do in real life it's like you're bouncing and jumping you're hitting trampolines and flying through the air oh man this game looks pretty cool if you're bouncing and jumping. You're hitting trampolines and flying through the air. Oh, man. This game looks pretty cool.

If you're a queer. It's like hunting people. That's why I think you'd like it. Because you hunt people. Yeah, you're hunting people. I'm not into hunting people, bro. I'm into hunting aliens that can move faster than people with rocket launchers. Dude, and by the way, what about Hearthstone, Joe?

Why don't you start playing Hearthstone? Oh, you want me to cast spells like you? Do we have to be naked? You might likewatch then because that's a little bit more that's kind of yeah overwatch is that's into that it's a third person thing no no no this is just this is the what i was explaining the overwatch league this is the viewing of it so they have special ways you can view it oh yeah but i like watching things through someone's eyes that's it there you go yeah first person watch this looks great this looks great. This is team-based. We should have an Overwatch

league. I suck at it. You know who's good at it is Pemberton. You can get Pemberton in our league. Just look at him. So is this something that you play with a PC? Yeah. Or is this an... Okay, I don't play Xbox games. This one's on all of them. I can't play Xbox games. Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard, that controller is just so whack.

They're supposed to be making an update soon so you can do that, actually. Mouse and keyboard on an Xbox. Oh, well that's what they should do. How is it taking so long to do that? Blizzard is so badass. But they were working on that years ago. There's still a thing, like Xbox has said recently they would allow people to play

against people on PlayStation's network, but Sony doesn't want to play friends with them. Oh. That sucks. Whatever, so. Well, see, the thing about computers is when you have a mouse and a keyboard, you just have so much more precision.

Guys get really good, and they also have, like, auto-aiming. Yeah. It keeps you in the box when you're using those. They've made it a little bit better, so those little hand controllers are more accurate than they used to be. But, man, it ain't the same. When you have you have a mouse and keyboard like if you watch that guy google

fatality and the the eye and fatality was a number one this guy would hit people with a rail gun in the middle of the air so often it was almost like he was psychic crazy when you would watch him play and you watch through his eyes and you realize how bad you are at the game And that was part of the reason why I got so addictive made it to number one on that new game I was talking about he did yeah, that's what this that's what his twitch channel says right here stream. That's him. He's a savage I met that kid in Vegas very nice guy. He's not kidding anymore. I'm sure he's in his deep in his 30s now. I think This is a long ass time ago that he was running quake unless he was six there he is he's a dad he's got dad bod got a fucking golf shirt on just dropped his kids off out there

fucking out people online i love it man this is like such a better future than i predicted when i was a kid like i never imagined that we would be able to watch people play video games or that you could make a career out of playing not just career, but make more in a month than lawyers make in a year. Yeah. It's wild. These people are all painting and playing music and stuff. All right. We're going to do it.

And we're going to also do pool on it, right? We're going to set that shit up. We've got plans. Techno Hunt. We did this Techno Hunt thing. Have you seen the Techno Hunt game yet? Only you posting on Insta. Oh, yeah.

I want to check it out. We have a thing live. There's 40,000 people watching. And we're shooting arrows at this screen. And then it's been downloaded like 300,000 times in the first 24 hours. What's the ETA on this, man? When are you going to fully turn this into a video gaming compound? It's pretty close.

We're closing in on it. We're closing in on it. But the Techno Hunt thing, what's fascinating about that is you use a regular bow. So it's like real world practice. A compound bow. Yeah, like a real compound bow. Yeah. You're not supposed to use a powerful one.

You're supposed to keep it down to 70 pounds. You can't jack it up like mine is jacked up to 84 pounds. But I tried the 84 pound one and it didn't break it. So we'll see. I'm excited, man. I love this compound. It's crazy. Badass.

Yeah. I can't wait to see what you do with it. It's like, you're just barely growing it right now. Right? Like, well, any suggestions you have, man. And if you want to do something here, we could do anything you want. Just if you have an idea. I like the video game idea, man.

I love the idea of having some kind of like Twitch laboratory here. It's pretty cool. Yeah. That's exciting. Let's do it. I love the idea of having some kind of Twitch laboratory here. It's pretty cool. Fuck yeah. Yeah, that's exciting. Let's do it. So, you heard it, folks. Duncan Trussell's in for the Twitch League. Dun, dun, dun.

I suck at these games, though. My kids are going to go, Daddy, come home. Daddy, why do you play games? Duncan Trussell, ladies and gentlemen. You can follow him and his antics on Twitter or Instagram, but you don't use Facebook, do you? No. No.

There you go. Duncan Trussell Family Hour, one of the best podcasts in the world. Thanks, Joe. I recommend you listen to the one with Dr. Chris Ryan. It's a really good one. The last one you guys did together. You listened to that? Yeah, I did.

Don't tell me that. I'm going to get nervous when I do my podcast, man. Come on, bro. Come on, bro. Young Jamie, go to youngjamie.com and get your Round Earth Shill t-shirts. Are they back? Do you have them restocked? They're not restocked. God damn it! They sell out so fast!

I got one for you. But you have powerful shirts in stock, right? There are. There's a couple of those left, a couple of hoodies left. Yeah, they go quick, bitch. They go quick. Alright, folks, we'll be back tomorrow with Phil Demers, formerly of Marine World, and we're going to have some fun. Bye! Bye!