The Joe Rogan Experience - #1094 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: March 20, 2018

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network available on Spotify under "Deathsquad." http://www.deathsquad.tv/

So Jamie Vernon has some Facebook stock for sale. He's uploaded it to Craigslist. Sold! Take it. Take it off my hands. I think it'll bounce back. If you guys don't know what we're talking about, Facebook apparently. Jamie, you were the one who first told me about it. Why don't you fill people in? From what I saw, there's something going on. I think the company is called Cambridge Analytica. What I've also then learned is that Steve Bannon used to be the VP of this company, but that was before he was

in the Trump campaign. They are responsible for scraping millions of users' personal information, I think, through a couple apps, maybe. Like a personality app. Like a personality quiz, someone took like a personality quiz right yeah like those online clickbait polls yeah yeah so but let's be those are morons that answer those things right for the most part or people are super bored and that's how you get

most of the time how you get your your facebook like password stolen is from those things oh yeah yeah or from sneaky emails that tell you your account's been compromised please re-enter your password and you're like it's okay well it doesn't say facebook on the url they they can be sneaky with their urls too like put something in front of it and then facebook and you're like oh it looks like facebook you know so the ftc is looking into this case right now apparently as of yesterday and what i read is they face up to a potentially forty thousand dollar fine for every infraction which would total over two million two trillion dollars i'm sorry with a t trillion so what it's

uh their their stock has tanked i think it was like eight percent yesterday it's at eight and a half so far today it's down to 165 a share it was like 185 two. It's at 8.5% so far today. It's down to $165 a share. It was like $185 two days ago. And then a lot of people then are also now talking about just getting rid of their Facebook account altogether. I talked about this last night. I'm on the actual fence of doing that just because I can't take it anymore. That's the only place I go to where it's just I get annoyed. I get in fights.

I have to see my sister talk about Trump every day. It's just upsetting now it's a very good uh forum for people that are into political arguments like political arguments gay rights arguments there's a lot of like that's like one of the last places where it's okay to say that you don't think gay people should be married yes it's like you know i know um i just i just know some people that I probably shouldn't know anymore. Yeah. And occasionally, you know, we're on my real Facebook page, which I never go to. Like if I go to it once a year, it's a lot.

And that's where all the fake news stuff is. Like I thought Pam Anderson died the other day and it was just one of those fake news stories. And that's always where you find it is on Facebook. Well, whenever you go and read an article, and there's those things at the bottom that, like, you should see what she looks like now, and there's, like, 30 of them, like, wait a minute, like, they're just

throwing shit at you. They just literally are like, come on, you're gonna bite on one of these. Come on, what is it, Kevin Costner? You can't believe what he looks like now. You remember that girl from Precious? You can't believe it. How often does it work, from precious. You can't believe it often doesn't work though He checks out every so often. No, I don't need more. I think got me a few times in the early days I was Google it. I thought that those were below see it's a sneaky thing because they took the place of real stories

It's like it used to you go to CNN and everything would be CNN But now you go to CNN everything CNN up until up until the line, and then below the line, it's like sponsored content. Like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is so sneaky, because this is barely an ad. This is like an article on CNN that takes you to some new place, and every page, like you have to keep changing pages, and every page is like one paragraph. Like one paragraph on what Kevin Costner looked like in 1980. Okay. What about 81?

Boom. Next page. In 81, Kevin Costner started to gain weight. Yeah. And then there's usually not the photo that you want to see. You know how like the thumbnail has like Kevin Costner's head blown apart. And you're like,

I want to see that picture. Right. And it's never in there. It's not even in there. It's fake. Son of bitches. Clickbait. Yeah. That and Snapchat, I think, should go.

I might be out and done with this, too. Well, the Snapchat Rihanna, Chris Brown thing is crazy. The fact that somebody greenlit that, it cost them almost a billion dollars. Like, instantly. Weren't they down, like, some 800 million dollars or some fucking insane number?

Yeah, I mean, that was the second time that's happened in a couple weeks. Yeah, one of them was like Kylie Jenner saying it sucks, right? Yeah, the hottest Kardashian. So $800 million they dropped after Rihanna condemned ad making light of domestic violence. So the question was in the poll, would you rather slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown? What would you do? Look at this. Look at that.

Of course everyone wants to punch. Who wants to slap Rihanna? There's a lot of dudes. There's a lot of assholes out there. There's got to be probably a sizable percentage of the people clicked slap Rihanna just because they don't like their life. Like, fuck that bitch. I would like to see what the results were of this. Yeah, well, you would have to join the Bannon administration,

and then they get you involved in Cambridge Analytics, and you've got to give up your fingerprints. I don't know how anybody could say, yeah, put that on Snapchat. Like, that seems so fucking insane. That seems like a joke, like in a movie. You talk about a clueless executive. so fucking insane. That seems like a joke, like in a movie. You know? You talk about a clueless executive. You know? Like, this is my idea. What do you think?

Lots of clicks? Lots of clicks? You know, cut to him with a sad face, holding his box of stuff as he's being kicked out of his office. And stay out! You know? That doesn't seem like something that's something as huge as Snapchat.

How could they do that? They've been, I mean, the whole redesign they did recently, it already was confusing and annoying to begin with. I don't use it at all. Oh, now it's even worse. And like, they even had a website where, you know, a petition to switch back. I think they got up to a million users saying, we want the old Snapchat back. And they were like, no, it's better now. We're not listening to you.

Well, Instagram listened, right? They went back to things being in chronological order. Did they do that? They tested it out. It was like a beta test. It hasn't happened for everyone yet, but it probably will happen or it's going to become an option soon.

Yeah, nobody likes this nonsense. I look at my feed from real recent and it says, I'll look at someone's post. I was like, this is yesterday. And then I look at the time. It says 26 hours ago. I'm like, what in the fuck is that? I hate that. Why are you showing me something from a day ago?

Or I'm going to be here tonight. And that was from like three days ago. I already missed this concert. Have you ever seen this, Joe? This came out recently. This Snapchat opened up their map. It's called the Snap Map. So these are where the hot zones are where snaps are taking place right now.

What? Yeah. Universal Studios. It's basically like a stalker map for people that don't have everything private. But this is Universal Studios, so it's a hot zone. This is the Hollywood and Highland hot zone over here in UCLA, a hot zone where all the kids are. Right.

So you can watch where trends or things are happening while they're happening and whatnot. Makes sense. I mean, that they can track that. And those spots, I would assume, you know, like Disneyland, right? It's got to be a hot zone. Like anywhere there's a giant population area. But I don't even know what the fuck a snap is.

Is it just like a picture? It's just like Instagram. It's like Instagram. It's like a 10-second picture or video or whatever. But it goes away? goes away if you want it to doesn't have to anymore it used that used to be the idea yeah it just disappeared yeah but everyone competed and so now they have to gotta keep it around right it's so funny how privacy has changed over the years remember aol one or two where you used to have member directory where you just type in your address and it'll show you all the users near your house,

and then you can just instant message these people out of the blue and go, hey, you look cute. I live down the street from you. You want to hook up? Like, that's how, like, they even showed where you were. Well, we were talking about this yesterday with Kurt Metzger. We were talking about Barry Crimmins, how Barry Crimmins, you know, Barry Crimmins has a, there was a documentary that Bobcat made for him about him called

They Call Me Lucky. Is that what it's called? Or just Lucky. Call Me Lucky? Anyway, in the documentary it details his battle with AOL where AOL was allowing people to trade child porn and they had a policy

where if three strikes and you're out so you could trade child porn. Call me lucky. You could trade child porn three times. Like, and it's fucking insane. And he actually was a big part of that trial and bringing it to trial. Yeah, the thing is insane. That wasn't that long ago.

That was 20 years ago. 20 years ago, you could trade child porn on AOL. Jesus. And if you got caught, they just said, hey, don't do that again. Now they come to your fucking house and they lock you up. It's really interesting how much that's advanced. This is what I was going to show you guys a second ago. I just saw a story yesterday that never before they thought iPhones could be cracked,

and now this company has this little box, which there's a picture right here. It's not that expensive. $15,000 gets the police 300 license unlocks, and they can spend double, and you have unlimited unlocks, and it will unlock every iPhone newer than an iPhone 5S, it said. Their pricing structure is weird because if you get the 15,000 one, you're only allowed to do it at a location that's like geo-fenced in.

You're not allowed to do it anywhere else. Hold on a second. You said newer than an iPhone 5S? 5S and newer. And newer. Up to right now. So if you just have a 5? I guess.

You can't do shit? It would be the older operating system, I think. People are going to go to flip phones. But you might not be able to use those anymore. It's just so convenient to do things on your phone. That's part of the problem. You know what I've taken to doing lately? Using Apple Pay at the grocery store.

Ooh, it's so exciting. It's so exciting. It's like I'm living in the future. I double click, it sees my face. You know? Ooh. Oh. I just bought one of those little square devices.

You know, so like if you're selling shirts after a show or something and it has that built into it so you could just people are just using their iphones on it whoa yeah $40 device you get on amazon that's crazy yeah using it with your imac is good too yeah it's a your imac yeah if you buy something on your imac and it's linked to your phone it'll'll just like, do you want to use Apple Pay? And then you pull out your phone and confirm with your face or your phone. Well, on my laptop, it is a fingerprint for Apple Pay. Yeah, that's retina scans. Have you paid with your Apple Watch, though, like a pimp yet? Jesus.

It's too much. I mean, like, this has got to be escalating, right? So the people that are sitting back, the forecasters, they're looking like, what is technology going to be escalating right so the people that are sitting back the forecasters they're looking like what is technology going to be in 10 years like what are they saying what's their predictions because this is uh it's getting into your body somehow it's coming in one of the holes it's like a dude right now rubbing his dick on the outside trying to find a place to stick it in he's got it on your wrist he's got it in your pocket he's he's trying to get it in your body he's got it in your ears they're putting you know earbuds in like those

airpods these are the best you do fucking siri with a double tap on your airpods it knows when you're taking them out of your ear so it pauses your music or video it's incredible they're incredible and they don't fall out when you work out either. I thought that was going to be a problem. They're not as good. They're not as good for working out. But what is, is what's actually even better to me for the sound is those Beats 3s. I got those wireless Beats ones. Those things hook over your ear with that little rubber thing, and they lock in place. You could get a serious workout in with those on.

The AirPods, they do fall off. They do fall off occasionally. They have these skins, too, to make it a little tighter The AirPods, they do fall off. They do fall off occasionally. They have these skins, too, to make it a little tighter. Oh, they do? I found on Amazon. Yeah, it's just like this generic thing that goes over to kind of tighten it up in your ear. It's an awesome idea. It's not perfect.

It would be perfect if they hooked onto your ear. But then they wouldn't be fitting into that box. So it's almost like they can't be perfect. Because part of the thing is they fit in that little tiny ass box. You pop it open, it's got a little green light on, and it's a battery pack too. And it's magnetic. I mean, shit, that's slick. That's slick.

No one saw that coming either. That's one of those weird ones where nobody saw it coming. You know? It wasn't really necessary. No one saw it being necessary until someone made it, I think. I tell you what's not necessary is that HomePod they released. That thing is just a dump. That thing sucks.

I mean, it sounds amazing, but Siri is so stupid compared to Alexa. It's weird. Is it? Alexa is just smart as fuck. So Amazon's Alexa, Siri, and then there's, what about the Google Home? Have you tried that one? Nah. I heard that one's supposed to be better, too.

I think it probably is. I mean, if it's the same as the Android you tried that one? Yeah. I heard that one's supposed to be better too. I think it probably is. I mean, if it's the same as the Android phone one, it's good. Siri's like that girl that was really hot but decided to stop

working out. You know? And she's like, she's still pretty hot but then all these other girls are going to the gym all the time. You look at them

and you're like, look at her butt though. Look at her legs. And Siri's just kind of, Siri's kind of sloppy. It's pretty annoying now how many times my Siri and my Alexis go off just from people going hey Siri you know like on a podcast or something and it just ruins everything yeah if you have it set like that I mean when we've we probably

triggered a ton of people just you doing that right there people always complain when I say that and then there's the hey Google complaint to same thing say hey Google and someone's got their system whatever it is it should be what is the thing you suppose say hey Google is okay okay you should be able to put anything you want though by now right you know fuck face yeah yes sir it should be fuck face that would be the best just call your computer fuck face my Alexa did one of those things we're out of the blue I think was in the news recently where you just sitting there and she just starts laughing yeah I heard about that like a

witch yeah what is that I would shoot that thing I would take it outside and fill it full of holes fuck you I can't fucking sleep with a robot laughing in my house fuck you wake up to get a drink in the middle of the night and just hear her laughing. She also, it's so weird how many Easter eggs she has. She also has like seven songs now. Like you go, hey Siri, sing me a love song. She will sing you a love song. Alexa or Siri?

Which one? Alexa, I'm sorry. Alexa. Alexa, yeah. Sing me a love song. Yeah, if you go, hey Alexa. She has love songs ready? Yeah, that she sings.

And she has like a rap song. She has one about technology. I always wondered why Stephen Hawking never upgraded his voice. He didn't want to, I think. I think I remember reading that or something. He liked keeping it that way. Yeah, I get it. That's why he kept it that way. But I mean,

what kind of logic behind that is that? Maybe he just wanted to keep it creepy. Like if you, he didn't want to, he wanted to keep it obviously electronic. Whereas there's some places you can get to with some of these new voice things. What was that movie?

She? The movie with Joaquin Phoenix. That was an interesting movie. Yeah, they could have paid anybody to be his voice, I would imagine. They had the time, the technology to figure it out. He could have been Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah, for Stephen Hawking?

Yeah, but it probably would sound off like this. It wouldn't sound like a real conversation. You know, it would be all, you know what I mean? It's like you've heard them do that with voice. Like when they take people's voices and they chop them up and try to piece together some sort of audio of something that they didn't really say, if they're being obvious about it. But you know, there's technology right now, like

Photoshop, that's going to allow people to stitch audio together. I believe we've talked about it on the podcast before. Yeah. It's getting better and better. There's a Radiolab episode where they showed where it's at now, and it's one of those things where it's, right now it's not ready. It's still, like if you heard it, you'd go, oh, that's not Brian and it's one of those things where it's right now it's not ready it's still

like if you heard it you go oh that's not brian that's a fake conversation put together from a bunch of brian said it's like that porn that fake porn that was that's even more crazy yeah because they could just take your face like take pictures and pretty seamlessly stitch your face onto the character with emotions with opening mouths linking and stuff I've seen some really good ones still like the girl from Harry Potter yeah yeah well it's what they're doing with snapchat right when someone pretends to be Rick from The Walking Dead like D'Elia did that and I'm like god damn that's pretty close yeah it's pretty close like I know that it's obviously that there's a thing going on

here but it's pretty close to what it would really look like it's fucked it's good enough it's good enough to make you go whoa this wasn't around before like if somebody showed you that snapchat thing that all the girls do where they put dog faces on and shit and barf barf and pretend to be a puppy dog or unicorns or whatever someone showed you that just 10 years ago you would be holy shit you wouldn't believe it you wouldn't believe it you would look at like that thing that lets you become rick from the walking dead and you would go what the fuck man this is incredible if someone showed you that in 1998 you know how mind-blowing and groundbreaking that would be? Now it's a part of an app that's on

your phone that sits in your pocket. Like, what happened? And how quick did this happen? Which hole is it going in? It's probably going to be a suppository. Just so that the aliens, it's like a ironic, like, that the aliens have figured out a way to mock us

while defeating us. And the way is just to give you the most ultimate bliss with this tiny little robot dick you don't even feel it just put this robot dick in your butt suppository and because your butt doesn't have like skin it's not the same it's like open tissue that's why it's so good for getting infected so this little robot can just seamlessly interact with all that open tissue and that's how you connect with god they're going to talk us in just the way they did with these cambridge analytics they sneak you in the door you think it's a personality quiz you're really electing a dumb

president you know same thing you think well i'm just going to go meet God. No. You're giving birth to the robot empire. Do little tiny robot dicks. It's not impossible to think. Look, we're willing to put glasses over our face so we can see better. Why wouldn't we put little metal bullets up our butt? If you found out that it makes life infinitely better, like we can't believe that this is the case. The only way to do it is up your butt. You know, we've tried.

And then people are like, oh, come on. I'm not doing that. And then a few guys do it. And they're walking around your neighborhood and fucking sparkles are coming out of their eyes. They're so happy. They're so happy they couldn't be happier. And you're like, God damn it. I need to try it.

People are flying. They're flying around your neighborhood because they have that robot dick yeah i do that like andy stump from this in the wingsuit they're doing that around your neighborhood but they control it themselves and it's all because of this robot dick that bends space and time you just have to do it once or is it uh every day keep it in your ass when you take it out of your ass then you become a normal human and then eventually they they figure out a way keep it in way to keep it in there yeah they like bolt it to the wall your asshole your strap where's your butt strap yeah you got to get it cleaned out every now and then because shit gets caked on it on the way out it doesn't it doesn't always get the full

signal to your skin you know to yourself or you have to have somebody do it i could do it to myself i'm not a pussy i need to go some doctor, stick a robot dick in my butt. Come on. It would suck if you were bungee jumping and your robot dick fell out, and then all of a sudden, sadness in the middle of the day. That would be crazy. Look, we're already doing that with pills, right? People that are addicted to Xanax, and I know a few,

that shit apparently makes you feel great. Is that the upper or downer? That's the, uh, there's no problems in the world drug. It's an anxiety reliever. And the people that take it, man, they get hooked on that shit. Don Marrera is very open about it. He takes that shit every

day. He's so great. He's great. We had him last night on Kill Tony. He's the best at that. No one's better at Kill Tony than Don Marrera. He's so great he's great we had him last night on kill tony he's the best at that no one's better at kill tony than don maria yeah he's so quick you know and he knows like the most ridiculous shit to say yeah but he he likes them xanax i know a lot of stanhope likes xanax too he's just joking around about if he got out of a plane and kissed the floor when he landed in America, it would be because he saw Xanax on the ground. They love those things.

I'm scared of that shit. I don't want anything that makes me feel like there's no problems. I think the only reason why a lot of people don't do it is because they don't have a friend that has a bunch of Xanax that's constantly giving them Xanax or something. Because I never see pills. I'm not around that road at all. Like, oh, I don't even know what a Xanax looks like, you know? Yeah. But I bet if we had a friend that always had Xanax on him, always, like, man, you want Xanax?

You know, I bet that's how you get into it. I think somebody just tells you you need to relax. You know? You're like, I just have so much anxiety. I mean the world is filled with possibility the world is filled with danger the world's filled with good things and bad things I mean there's a lot of shit going on if you don't have some anxiety it must be because you're just choosing to not pay

attention like anybody who lives in New York City you live in New York City imagine all the shit that's going on around you all the time while you're just sitting there. You're supposed to be aware of it. You're supposed to hope everybody keeps together. You're supposed to hope everybody's cool. You're in your apartment. You're on the 13th floor of a 60-floor building. It's

filled with people. There's another one right next to it. There's another one right next to that. They go all the way down the street. They're filled with people. People are fucking everywhere. And you're supposed to just be chilled out. That doesn't make no sense to me, man. I'm with you if you're nervous. If you're anxious, you're driving in traffic every day and people are on their phones and not paying attention and everything you eat gives you cancer. You're not anxious. I don't understand you. You should be anxious you know this

is the argument for not living the way we live it's not the argument for taking a pill that kills that part of your brain that makes you anxious do you audibly sigh a lot uh mostly for humor yeah i don't audibly sigh like by myself like oh but I'll do it like that, like for a joke. Oh. I catch myself more audibly sighing more and more the older I get. Like, just like little things where I'll just like look at something. Oh, that kind of shit. You know, but I didn't used to do that.

Like, what? I'm going to go to oy. Oy vey is a good one. But it's like the things I grew up with oy vey. Is it cultural appropriation? I'll have to ask my Jewish friends if I'm allowed to start saying oy vey. Yeah. Because nobody ever got mad at anybody who wasn't Italian.

They would say, marron. Marron, this girl. Nobody cares about the use of fungool. It's not used that often, though. It is in Jersey. go to the east coast go to where those old school guineas landed on boats and fucked each other on the rocks and made a bunch of them and they all stayed there about fungool what's what's the italian horn like if you're italian oh yeah i had one of those what is that i had one of those i didn't know that was a thing shows you're Italian, you might have one of those. What is that? I had one of those. I didn't know that was a thing.

Shows you're a moron. I don't know. I don't know where it came from. We all had them in high school, though. It was like if you had a gold chain with a horn, like, wow, looking stylish. Did not know that thing existed. It's called the comicello. I've seen that sperm before. That's probably what it is.

Gold sperm. Little horn or hornlet, sometimes abbreviated to como, is an Italian amulet or talisman worn to protect against the evil eye. Or malachio. And bad luck in general. And historically to promote fertility and virility. That's the last thing we need is to promote fertility and kids in high school wearing those things.

Oh, so it is a sperm. Yeah. Ew. In Neapolitan, it's called cumicello or variance thereof. What are you talking about? My sperm? That's crazy. It is jizz.

It's jizz between your chest. You're wearing golden jizz on your chest. Essentially, right? The golden jizz will protect you from the evil eye. You gave me the evil eye, but I still got my nut off. Oh! My dad gave this to me. The fucking evil eye over here.

Yeah, what? You're wearing it right where a pearl necklace would land, too. Yeah. It's foul. What a foul little amulet imagine they talked those kids into wearing golden jizz around their neck and all these years they thought hey that fucking evil eye could suck my dick how about that i'm gonna go out i got a good amount of gold chains i got a good solid fucking horn here

look at that catholic priest probably give them to, you know. I mean, it looks like cum. Yeah. It doesn't even look like a horn. What kind of fucking horn is that where it's round on the top like a sperm head? Horns aren't round at the top. Are they all round at the top? It looks like it's swimming upstream like to the guy's mouth.

It fucking does. It's going in your mouth. If you go back to those pictures of different ones, is there anyone that has a flat top that looks like a fucking horn? No. All of them are rounded at the top like jizz. Those Italian horns, they're all rounded at the top like jizz. This is insane.

I don't see any of them that look like that. That's not an Italian horn. That's the wrong horn. That's a gay like... That's not an Italian horn. That's the wrong horn. That's a gay one. That's some, like, Gucci shit. Like, some designer got a hold of it. A new take on the Italian horn. It's all the rage.

Everyone wears it. Everyone wears it. Yes, I've got three on. I can't believe people wear that shit. They do. They can't help themselves. They grew up in those communities. I did it too.

I wore one. You're around a bunch of East Coast Italian people. They're all wearing it. You're all wearing it. It's like, oh, you got your Italian horn? And when I saw the guy that had it on, he took it and goes, yeah, I got it, and then kissed it. He kissed the jizz. It's just my good luck jizz.

God bless you. God bless you. What saint? It should be Saint Peter, right? Yeah. Right? I mean, it's got to be. Which one's attached to it?

That's weird. There's always affiliations. Certain saints are attached to certain. Fucking ridiculous. Attached to it. That's like weird. Like there's always affiliations. Like certain saints are attached to certain, you know. Fucking ridiculous. It's all those ancient immigrant cultures. But is it any different really than like looking back at like AOL in 1996 trafficking porn? People are just way different now. They're just way different.

Like human beings are way more aware of shit today. Even if they're misinformed, they're at least more aware of a lot of things than they were in 1994, 1996. It's like I would say it's like a several-fold increase in how much we're aware of and what we actually look at in the world it's just it's a completely different thing now don't you think oh yeah what are we doing today that they're going to look back on and go those fucking morons how did they do that besides circumcision circumcision is a one. The one day they're going to stop cutting baby dicks and they're going to look back and go, what in the fuck, people? This is crazy. I hope not.

You're taking a baby day. You don't want to stand out? Huh? I like a good cut dick. No, I don't like the uncut ones, man. They freak me out. I think we've talked about this. But the way they look, right?

Yeah, just the look. I really don't think that affects you. Unless freak me out. I think we've talked about this. But the way they look, right? Yeah, just the look. I really don't think that affects you. Unless you're out there sucking dicks on the sneak tip. I've asked, and I've heard they smell more than a regular dick. Well, I think you should wash your dick, basically, overall. That would be the advice I would give. Anybody's dick. Yeah, but that's still crazy.

I bet if you trim pussy lips, it'd be easier to take care of that thing, too. It's still crazy. I told you that. It's just nuts. It's a nutty thing that we've just gotten really accustomed to doing. Cutting skin off your dick. Like, why? What?

And the fact that the majority do that? What? They're going to look back in 2018. They're going to look back at this time period, and they're going to go, how is that possible that they had the internet they had all this knowledge all they had all these scientific studies that had been done they knew about psychology and ideologies they knew about the health like what health benefits bogus fucking health benefits all less likely to get aids the fuck out of here wash your dick

everybody wash if you're getting aids or not getting AIDS based on the fact that you're circumcised or not circumcised, you are dancing on such a fine edge in your life. I want to see more data from that study. I don't want to just see, do you get AIDS? I want to see how fucking crazy are you?

The whole thing's crazy. Cutting baby dicks. That would be one. What else? Tax exempt status. Tax exempt status for religions. That one. Because otherwise, why can't I start a religion right now and get tax exempt status? Why can't you?

You're telling me Scientology can do it? How many people makes a religion? Do you have a number? Give me your number. Tell me what your numbers are. How do you know whether or not someone's legit? How do you decide? No one should be tax exempt,

especially someone who's taking in shit fucking ton piles of money. If you're some sort of church or whatever, and you're getting donations in the millions and millions of dollars, and you're like one of them Benny Hinn assholes out there driving a Bentley. Amazon Inc. paid zero federal taxes in 2017. Gets $789 million windfall from new tax law. They paid zero?

Yeah. So like... That kind of shit shouldn't happen either. That shouldn't happen either. But the idea is that a corporation... Now this is not my idea so don't think I'm supporting this. I have to preface this. But the idea is that corporations corporation, now this is not my idea, so don't think I'm supporting this. I have to preface this. But the idea is that corporations shouldn't pay taxes because all the individuals who are making money in that corporation already pay taxes.

This is the argument that I've heard. And that made me go, oh, okay. And the argument was, why, it might have been Peter Schiff. Did he say that to me? I don't know. I don't think it was on the air. It might not have been him. Shit.

Anyway, sidetrack. The idea is that a corporation is not an individual. So why should it pay taxes? It's not a person. It's a conglomeration of people. Those people already pay taxes. The corporation has money that's piled up right and then like it's got a value and it's got it's on the stock market and it goes up and it goes down and

you know and they're always kind of looking to improve their their bottom line and universal constant growth but it's not a person but we i feel like corporations have gotten rights like people over the last 20 plus years. You're right. They have. They've gotten rights in terms of how much they can donate to charities, to political campaigns. And that used to be not the case. They used to have a limit. And now they are like an individual in which they can donate as much money as they want to political campaigns.

And doesn't a corporation also act to defend itself sort of like yes, can you? Google that make sure that's true that corporations They can donate as much as they want to political campaigns now, I think that I want to say this is like During the Obama administration Fucking Obama Obama. Yeah, I think this was during the Obama administration. Fucking Obama. Obama. Yeah, I think this was during the Obama administration. It's a disturbing one.

That's a disturbing one to me. Because that's a lot of influence. For someone like Amazon, I don't think Amazon's evil. What's the limit? But if they wanted to be, I don't know. I mean, if the limit's like max $3,000, there's no limit? I don't know. There should be a limit. There should be a limit. Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, if the limit's like, well, you know, max $3,000. There's no limit? There should be a limit. There should be a limit.

Yeah. But I don't think there is. There has to be. Well, I don't know. How sad is it that I don't know? I should know. Okay. Let's see what we got here.

I've seen various things. The one I'm seeing right now is that an S-corp can deduct up to 50% of its adjusted gross income to be as a qualified know how much money can know there was a law passed I'm looking it's not popping up how much money there was a law passed that stated how much money a corporation can donate to political campaigns that It was very specific. That a corporation is seen as an individual. Look up that.

Corporations seen as individual for donation political campaigns. It's just, it's not in anybody's good, in anybody's interest that these huge companies like Amazon or anything that size that has fucking billions of dollars,

that they should just be able to get together and influence a politician with a shit ton of money. And then the politician does their bidding and it helps them be bigger and stronger. And it maybe fucks over some people. You gotta be really careful about that because the politicians could find a way of arguing it. Well, I could see, but what is that how he would vote without that influence? No. So all these politicians that get into those positions are all just influence peddlers. They're just peddling influence.

They're saying, listen, you know, if you help me, I'll help you. Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. They're not looking out for the people that voted them in at all. They're looking out for the people that paid all the money to make them more prominent so that people would vote them in. It's very sneaky. It should have been fixed a long time ago it's really if you think of all the shit like insider trading that is illegal like if if Jamie really did know something about Facebook and then he told us like hey dude shit's going down get rid of all your Facebook stock right now and you

and I went crazy and got rid of it, we could get in trouble. That's what Paul Ryan's in trouble for right now. Some bank thing he got. Supposedly he sold a bunch of stock. Oh, so someone told him and he bailed. Yeah. See, how is that illegal? But it's not illegal to influence politicians and have corporations spend shit tons of money

and then obviously get preferential treatment and obviously get laws pushed. Here it is. Paul Ryan sold shares on same day as private briefing of banking crisis. Whoops. That seems like a dumb move, dude. Wow. You got to take the hit, son. Smooth move.

No, you got to take the hit the hit there fellow you can't do that that's terrible somebody told me you better sell your toys r us stock right now that's what i hear but this thing about this guy like when can he like trade those stock i don't know how long you have to wait because that's what martha stewart got in trouble for too right well she lied about doing it yeah she got a, they found a note that had like the information on her or something. God damn,

my memory is dog shit lately. Just real quick on the tax thing. I think there is a limit, but then that's why Super PACs became a thing. So you can donate to another organization

that's not directly to them and then that group can give the money as they see fit. But that's just a workaround with like a loophole. Do you know what the limit is, though? I believe it's $2,700

for an individual, and then there's like for a company can give like up to $10,000 or something. So it's $2,700 for an individual. That's interesting. Per election. Still a lot of money. But not as much money as you would think it would be, right? Like you would think it would be like a million.

Yeah. There's a bunch of fucking wackadoos that would give a million. The thing is, man, there's weird things that happen with politicians that you don't factor in when you think about bribery. And one of the weird ones is, did you ever see that movie about the financial crisis?

Which one was it called? Inside Job. Inside job. Inside job. It's fucking amazing. But one of the things that it details is how many of these guys were professors that were making these suggestions, like working as consultants

to the government, making these suggestions that wind out to be horribly irresponsible financially. And then those guys get giant jobs afterwards that pay fucking millions of dollars and you're like wait a minute what happened here you're a professor you made these sort of you know weird suggestions that if you looked at like in the in the movie inside job he goes over it with these professors like how the fuck could you have thought this? Why did you push this? Why were you guys promoting that? And then they go on to get these gigantic

fucking jobs at banks. And you're like, oh, this is crazy. This is like a clear path. Do the right thing here, and then you're going to make $5 million a year here. And so they all do it. And this movie's really good, because in one of the scenes, he's talking to one of these big-time bank guys.

And in the middle of talking to him, the guy realizes what's going on. And he gets real hostile, but he keeps going. His arrogance allows him to keep battling this guy, but he keeps looking dumber and dumber because the guy who's doing the interview is really good, the guy who put together this documentary is really good. It's a fascinating documentary that gives you a real insight into how

complicated and fucking distorted the system is. It's very distorted for those people that are just like those rich banker guys. All they're doing is moving money. Imagine having all that money and what do you do i just put money

over here and i get it over pick it up aren't you glad you're not doing that though i know i don't understand it i just couldn't i i just can't imagine we still use it i mean i'm sure someone like peter schiff could come and school me and explain it to me but i feel like it should be like one goat equals one piece of gold i think as soon as you go higher than that it just as soon as you get into speculation and shorting and oh my god buying and selling stock in a company and a company can crash like that and that's like unfortunately what's happened to babies rs and toys rs is that they weren't getting killed by amazon it was just them taking debt in and like this finance company that bought them just pretty much you know going crazy in debt uh from bad spending and oh it had nothing to do with toys

rs's business They were doing fine. It was all about the finance company that owned them. That's a sad thing, man. But it might be a good thing for mom and pop toy stores. Because here's the thing about toy stores. As a parent, kids love to go to the fucking toy store. It's a fun time. It's like, we're going to the toy store!

If my kids would do something good or we would make a promise like, hey, if you were going to do this project and we're done with this project, you guys could pick out a toy. So you give them like a work reward type situation. Dude, they get fucking crazy. They're running down those aisles. There's all these stuffed animals and all these games. And it's an exciting place for little kids.

You can't replicate that online. It's just not the same. You're looking through Amazon.com or something like that. It's great that it's very convenient. You can just press one click and have it sent to your house. But for toy stores in particular, this is a colossal, there's an opening for sure for another company. Yeah.

This is the time to start a new toy store. Because look at all the toy stores are gone. Like KB Toys. Remember in the time to start a new toy store. Because look at all the toy stores are gone. Like KB Toys. Remember in the mall, there was a toy store. That was bought by the company that bought Toys R Us. So that's gone too now. Like all the toy stores are gone. There was a little place up here in Calabasas.

It was real nice, man. Real tiny little mom and pop place. They had real cool toys there. Kids used to love it. But the guy was telling me, like, guy or gal? Might have been a woman. I'm a sexist. I don't remember who it was. I'm thinking it might have been a woman, though. But the guy was telling me, like, guy or gal? Might have been a woman. I'm a sexist. I don't remember who it was.

I'm thinking it might have been a woman, though. But they were saying that, no, it was a guy. Now I remember. He couldn't keep it open to make money. He's only doing it for fun. Because he enjoyed it. It was just barely breaking even. But it was probably one of those toy stores where it was mostly, like, puppets and, know educational toys and it wasn't like gi joes they had everything oh okay they had a lot

of stuff they had regular like action figures for comic books and stuff like that what are you doing uh i just what there's this documentary on netflix right now called uh the toys that made us and it's very interesting like you learned so much like it showed the history of barbie barbie started off as a hooker like it was a hooker doll that in germany come on yeah i swear to god like they uh um google please yeah there was a history of the barbie doll there was a doll that looked exactly like barbie that they used to guys used to like carry around and give to women and it was like a way of like uh uh flirting with a woman like hey this is what i want to see you wearing later yeah and so this uh person came over to uh germany and saw this doll and modeled barbie right after this hooker doll and so if you look at the original barbie but what it was

modeled off of it was just like a creepy looking hooker chick i'm sure you can find a picture but this documentary is so amazing because it goes through all the famous things. What was going through your mind? Were you like, I just definitely got to look into the history of Barbie. No, it's just a documentary. History of toys? Yeah, the toys that made us.

It's so good. And it goes through He-Man and G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe is interesting because back in the day, releasing a guy doll. Like, no, we're not going to make no guy doll. No one's going to play that. But G.I. Joe ended up being one of the biggest toys in the whole entire world. Yeah, you had to call it an action figure.

I used to have a Steve Austin $6 million man action figure. You had to call it an action figure, though. And that's where action figures came from, G.I. Joe. That was the way around the doll thing. Yeah, smart move because dolls are not for boys. Isn't that funny? But you could have dinosaurs. Like,

what is that? Is that a doll? No. It's a doll. It's a dinosaur doll. One of them was, which one was it? Not G.I. Joe.

One of those was like they made a whole cartoon and just made the toy. He-Man. Yeah, He-Man. Yeah. those was like they made a whole cartoon and just made the toy. He-Man. Yeah, yeah, He-Man. Yeah. It was just designed as a marketing tool. Yeah.

Yeah, they decided how are we going to fight Star Wars toys? They were like, let's make it bigger and stronger so that if you see a He-Man doll next to a Star Wars toy, it's like, well, here's this little pussy doll, you know? Yeah. And then they made a cartoon around it. And it's really interesting like you wouldn't think it would be that interesting but even the barbie part was like wow this is fascinating and how they changed barbie's look every year like made her sexier made her like

her waist like she gets so much shit because her waist is really small and like stuff that's because when you put clothes on for it to fit and look right that's how they had to make her waist just it was more for like the style of the clothes she was wearing not of what it looked like oh so it's more like just to have the doll work right yeah it's really cool it's got to be fucking super hard to be a chick and look at like those dolls and look at your body and go what in the fuck this is not even possible yeah you know because a lot of those dolls, they're not possible. What's really funny is one of the things in the 50s...

What does it say? The Lily Doll. Lily Doll can be bought in tobacco shops, bars, and adult-themed toy stores, Gerber writes. Men got Lily Dolls as gag gifts at bachelor parties, put them on their card dashboard, dangled them from the rearview

mirror, or gave them to girlfriends as suggestive keepsake. What does that mean? Suggestive keepsake? Hey, look at this butt. I want to see your butt. This proto Barbie was just shy of a foot tall with bulging breasts and platinum blonde ponytail made up for a night in the town with red puckered lips and blue eyeshadow. Wow.

Interesting. The German doll's heavy makeup and subjectively arched eyebrows didn't carry over to the American version. That's interesting. Huh. They tried to lighten it up a little. Yeah. Then they even go into how her eyes are looking to the side, not right at you. Because she wants to see if she could fuck you in this alley.

Yeah. Is anybody coming? Shh, look over there. They had comics for this little doll too. What? Like a comic? Oh,

that's hilarious. Lily was witty, irreverent, and sexually uninhibited. One stripped, summarized by Lord, who's Lord? Lord,

the writer, theized by Lord. Who's Lord? Lord the writer? The writer? Okay. Shows Lily covering her naked body with a newspaper, explaining to a friend, we had a fight and he took back all the presents he gave me. Get it? She's naked. Another shows Lily in a bikini when a policeman tells her that two-piece swimsuits are illegal.

She says, Oh, and in your opinion, which part should I take off? That dirty bitch. One interesting thing, too, is how Barbie gets so much shit from being a fatter woman, having the body issues and stuff like that. There was a workout Barbie, and she had a little scale. And the scale had a sticker on it, and it was stuck at 110 pounds Oh my god And then there was also a book that came with it like a cookbook or like a book

That's like how to lose weight on the back. It says don't eat and so that That actually came out Dude, that's dark. Yeah, and then it talked about how Malibu Barbie like was the first one that like have the eyes stare right at you So it was like more sexual or something. It was interesting shit dude And then it talked about how Malibu Barbie was the first one that had the eyes stare right at you. So it was more sexual or something. It was interesting shit. Dude, you don't want to... The thing about those dolls and all that stuff is you're putting something in a kid's head. This is what an adult looks like.

But I guess you're doing the same thing with He-Man, right? Oh, yeah. You're putting that in a boy's head and then he gets in the mirror and he's like that's why people flex and have their italian horns but they're looking at their muscles and they're like what in comparison to he-man nothing you know that's the argument too about The Rock or anybody who's like some beautiful, muscular creature like that. It's like, how the fuck do you aspire to that? But guys don't complain about that shit. Like, you don't hear a lot of complaints about male positive body image.

You know? You don't hear that. Like, people don't care if guys are fat. If guys feel sad because they're fat, nobody gives a fuck. Thank God. But you know what I mean? I mean, it's like it's a big deal, like fat shaming men. When was the last time anybody got accused of fat shaming a guy?

It's always a woman. It's always if you're fat shaming, it's implied you're fat shaming a woman because you're the only ones who care. Tom and Bert. Tom and Bert. That was a different kind of fat shaming. They got locked up because people found it a target. Like, oh, let's figure out what we can say

here. Oh, it's fat shaming. But just genuinely like without it ever being requested by someone. Like if you just on your own, you decided to say that's fat shaming like you saw it you pointed it out and it became an issue about a public event or a public

person or a public celebrity said i'm being fat shamed and it was a man fucking never right does it means that it hasn't happened maybe it hasn't i have been paying attention but i can't imagine that some guy would fucking complain because he has a gut and someone's fat shaming him publicly. He would just look at that gut and go, fuck, they're right. Got to stop eating. You know? Like the Tom and Bert thing, people really did think they were serious. That's where it got weird.

Like people would get angry at Bert or angry at Tom. Yeah. And they would pick sides. Bert was telling me about this the other day he hired me to like drive him on this golf cart uh for this marathon like in between taking instagram photos like you imagine you imagine that's what he found out it's crazy he ran 533 that's pretty good it's That's pretty good. It's an hour slower than Oprah. But hey, he's fat and he drinks a lot.

What's interesting is like the guy that, the first place guy, the guy that actually, you know, won, it was like two and a half hours. No, no, no one's. Is it that? That can't be. Yeah. And it's just an interesting. Oh no, it's two hours that they can't break.

Right? They can't break two hours. Yeah. I was thinking they're was thinking that was two. Yeah, so like. 211.46. That's what he did? Yeah.

Oh, my God, that's insane. And what, Burt was five and a half? Dude, that's insane. They run so, so fast. That's insane. I've tried to run that fast for like a mile. I can't even really do it. Oh, my God.

I didn't know they did it that fast. I thought it was around, if I was guessing, when you said 2.30 or whatever the fuck we thought it was, I would be like, that's like a world record or some shit. What did it used to be? Didn't it used to be three hours, like a big deal? I don't know. No, it was like a three-minute mile was the big deal.

No, four-minute mile, right? Oh, yeah. And then Yeezys came out and changed everything. Yeezys changed the game. You got so much more bounce. How about this? Go back to the world record Boston Marathon 1980. I have a feeling it's like in the threes.

Probably is. I mean, just. Wouldn't be world record Boston Marathon. That's a stupid thing to say. It's the Boston Marathon record. Who won it? Someone in 2011. 20302. Yeah, but that's 2011.

I want to go down to 1980. 1980. Right, but not the record. Just like what is the result from 1980? Boston Marathon result, 1980. I want to say that was probably the last time I paid attention because

I lived in Boston I don't give a fuck about the LA Marathon I hear about it and I go oh can't drive there now but I'm not like oh what a smart thing these people are all running on the street I think the reason why you're remembering that is because that's when the woman

faked the time oh that's right that's when the woman faked the time. Oh, that's right. That's right. I forgot about her. Oh, my God. That was 1980? That's right.

She hopped on the T, and they busted her. People saw her on the T. What was her time? I don't know why that wouldn't just show it to people. I don't remember that. Well, just, you're a terrible person to talk to about this because you keep taking us down more and more rabbit holes. Just type in 1981. I just wanted to know.

That's 100% what I typed in. Look, right here. Boston Marathon, 1980. Dude, 1981. And then this stuff starts popping up. Okay, Boston Marathon results. 1980s. Put an S on that, bitch.

Put 1979. Results. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. What do we got? 220. 220.

Wow. Okay. I'm way off. Well, it's still 10 minutes. 256, the third place. 247, the first place. Women's top results 10 minutes 56 the third place 247 the first place women's top results so women do it in 247 the man was doing a 220. 220 is crazy that is so crazy you can run 26 miles in two hours 20 minutes i would imagine that would have been like a world record. I'm so off.

You know? But it's a – I wonder what they weigh. You know, that's another thing. Like, Burt, what's really impressive is how big Burt is. Burt's like 350 pounds. More than that, probably. Probably. Yeah.

He's 800 pounds, and he's running out there. Did he get a shoe sponsor? No. Why not? Why didn't he get a shoe sponsor? Sports bra. not? Why didn't he get a shoe sponsor? Sports bra. Should have got some Reeboks. Some tight Reeboks to be running around that track in.

They would have sent a couple hundred bucks his way. I think Nike hooked him up with some stuff. Oh, yeah? There you go. That's right. He said, thank you, Nike. Yeah. Good move.

They should have gave him that marathon shoe that they created just so that someone could break two hours and see if Bert could be the one. It supposedly saves like 4% off your time, that shoe. Get the fuck out of here. How is that possible? 4% is crazy. It means if you run 100 miles, you get there four miles quicker. Than you did without them. That shit's ridiculous.

Maybe. There's a titanium plate in there. Yeah. It's supposed to help propel you. Oh, springs. You're running on springs remember those air shocks those nike shocks you'd have springs in your heels oh yeah look like frog shoes i mean i've beaten this dead horse many times not a bad idea to beat it one more time but

i like barefoot running like i run with the smallest tiniest amount of soul and it's changed my feet like I used to get I used to have completely flat feet so if like I stepped in water and then I stepped like on the tile like next to the pool

and if it was like cement or something like that where you could see my footprint you would see a flat cave band footprint same but since I've been running with these

those I use those Vibrams four finger shoes and I use a couple of different Vivos. I like those. Those are, they have real good traction in them. What about the impact on your knees though and your joints? You're running on the ball of your foot. Your foot is a natural shock absorber. So the thing is people changed the way they ran in the 1970s when Nike came out with that really thick heel

for those running shoes. And the idea was that you would land on the heel and then go forward. But that's a terrible way for your foot to land. That's all the shock goes straight to your knee. There's no give there. The only give would be the cushioning of the shoe. But your foot is naturally designed to decelerate. You land on the ball, your feet, your foot decelerates and you go forward. And what it's done is strengthen all the muscles in my feet in a crazy way. Like, I mean, there's a big difference, like a big difference. And my legs just, they just work better. Like I'm more balanced. It's so crazy. Like it's, it's changed. Like I think about this, like if I was doing this back when I was like really involved in martial arts, I think it would have changed my footwork.

It would have made my movement in and out better and faster. Because your feet strength, your feet become so much stronger when you run hills with no shoes on. I mean, it's basically, there's shoes, there's a thin tread, but there's no cushioning. I mean, it's all just the tread

is like a layer of protection from sharp rocks. That's it. You're going to try these? Oh, I have those in my ass right now. In your ass? Let me pull it out. Pull up Vivo barefoot trail running shoes.

These are the ones that I've been using a lot lately. And the Vibrams five fingers. But the problem with the Vibrams is they don't have as much tread. And when it's muddy, you slide all over the fucking place. And I don't have as much tread and um when it's muddy you slide all over the fucking place and i don't want to fuck my knees up no i don't that's not those those are like ninja toes have you tried running barefoot on the beach yet yes i've done that has it gotten better for you since you've done that yeah well it's everything's better what's interesting is that's what it looks like on the bottom of those. That's cool.

So it's a good tread on the bottom, and it protects you from sharp rocks. But that shoe is super, super flexible. Do you have the trail-specific one? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because that's all I'm running on. I'm not running on any hard ground. I have zero problems with my knees.

Zero. Zero. Sometimes my ankles are a little stiff. Like, sometimes they're a little sore when I first start running. But I'm like, well, no duh. Think about all the beading I'm giving them. Those are cool. Yeah, those are the ones I wear now. But right now, as soon as it dries up, because it's been raining a lot out here,

as soon as it dries up, I'll go back to those Vibram FiveFingers. Because those things make you use your toes. Like your shoe is in a coffin, man. Or your foot, rather, in your shoe. It's like a coffin. It wraps it up. It locks it down. It's a cast.

And your feet don't move right. They don't spread out. Your toes don't grip into the ground and push off. And Steve Maxwell was the first one to tell me about that one in regards to weightlifting. He was like, you should weightlift barefoot. And if you don't want to weight lift barefoot, wear those like five finger shoes. And as soon as I started doing that, I started realizing like, oh, yeah, like you, you push off those toes, you feel them dig into the ground and, and in certain exercises. But if they're all trapped up in a shoe, it's like it doesn't they don't move right. It's just they don't expand.

They don't grip the ground. They don't dig in. But when you're running barefoot, like I feel the muscles in my feet. Afterwards, they get worked out. Yeah, like those kind of things. That's exactly what those are.

Those are city ones, huh? Those are ones for wearing around the city. Look, they look gross. there's no doubt about it i mean you're used to looking at different kinds of shoes you look at that little tiny slipper thing on a dude's fit like hey get out of here with your weird ideas with your fucking slipper feet but it's just something you got to get used to i i prefer them now and if i don't wear those, I usually wear shit like this, like Converse All-Stars. Because there's nothing there. It's like it's totally flat.

You don't have a raised heel. See, like that shoe right there has a raised heel. Air Max. Right. They're fat, right? You like them. But those heels, that raised heel, it shortens your Achilles tendon. If you wear those all the time or wear or wear high heels all the time think about it your foot

is always in this weird position where your back the back heel is elevated so your tendon is not traveling as far so then when you do something where it does have to travel far it can get ruptured like you have you can have issues with it it's just not it's not it's like you ever heard of like people that drive cars a lot and they have a big fat wallet. They wind up getting problems with their back. Like they'll get a disc slippage because you know, they're, they're kind of getting a bulging discs.

They're always leaning on one side. You're doing your, your body a disservice by keeping it in an unnatural position or in any sort of static position for long periods of time. So when you have a static position, like sitting with a big fat wallet in your ass, it eventually starts to break you down. The argument is that that same kind of shit is happening with heels.

So if you're wearing a sneaker that has like a heel to it, that you're constantly, especially if you're doing like explosive exercises, you're constantly limiting the range of your heel. Does that make sense? Yeah. My thing, though, is because I also have bad flat feet, that if I have like a Converse All-Star, I feel like I need more support because that makes me walk almost pigeon-toed

or something like that. I don't think that's true. I think you probably just need to strengthen your feet. Yeah. I think. I mean, it's just, I just don't think that that's where you get support from I mean you do get support from that if you're going mountaineering or something you know you have to hike but if you're looking for like an overall solution should try to get

your feet stronger yeah this doctor that Dr Scholl thing you can do to like put your foot on it and test your walking gate and they give you the proper insole. Those kind of help a little bit. Yeah. Those insoles will definitely help your comfort level. Right. The thing is like, what's causing the discomfort? Is it a lack of strength? Is it a lack of mobility?

Like what, what are the issues, you know? So it's like, if you're going to go mountaineering next week, right, you should definitely go and get some fitted insoles. You should go get some stiff ass boots that you know i mean that's definitely the way to go even if you're mountaineering period but if we're not talking about that you want to talk about like a solution for your life like why do your feet hurt when you do things why it might very well be they're not conditioned well and they're not they're not being used correctly because you're shoving them into these fucking casts that we call sneakers hippie talk 101 my sneakers have this new material that's been on a lot of shoes for a while but

this like fly net material so it stretches with your foot yeah do you like that yeah i mean it you don't have to they don't need breaking in like shoes kind of did for a long time in the 80s 90s whatever don't get me wrong man i'll still wear a pair of running shoes every now and then if i feel like it. You know, but I just don't think they should be worn every day. I don't think it's a normal thing. I definitely don't think you should work out in them. Like, in terms of running in them and a lot of the shit that people do.

I mean, they have some shoes. Like, I know Under Armour has a shoe called the Speed Freak that's pretty flat. You know, there's a lot of these companies are making flatter and flatter shoes now. But people like – they sell good. You know, you see that big fat heel. They go, ooh, look at all that cushioning. They like it. It sells good.

They have those hard ones for people that work out. Like it's a big CrossFit shoe like Nike's Metcon 3 I think is what it is. It's got like that hard plastic. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah about oh yeah that's for squats right they want you to have a heel for squats some people do them in converse or barefoot though they're just a choice it's a good question you know i've heard i know some people step on plates they'll put like a 10 pound plate on the ground and they'll they'll put their heel on those plates and they'll do squats that way i'm not i don't know who's right or who's wrong when it comes to that.

I do everything barefoot, all lifting, all lifting either barefoot or with those little five-finger shoes on. Aren't you worried about getting ringworm all over your feet? No. Why do you think you get ringworm? Aren't gyms, or I guess you have private gym, but gyms are just like the dirtiest. Just wash your feet. or I guess you have a private gym, but like gyms are just like the dirtiest shit. Just wash your feet.

But here's the thing. You know, ringworm and athlete's foot are the same thing. Oh, okay. Really? Did you know that? Yeah. Exactly the same thing. Yeah.

It's just skin fungus. The best way to prevent against skin fungus is have healthy skin flora. So don't fuck with any antibacterial soaps. Unless you're a doctor, obviously, but when you're using antibacterial soap on a regular basis, you're killing everything. You're killing all the good bacteria too. What you want is soap that promotes healthy skin flora, like defense soap. They make this soap with tea tree oil and eucalyptus oil. It smells good. Yeah. And, but it's really healthy for your skin.

There's no chemicals. There's no bullshit. It's just natural oils that promote healthy bacteria, and they deny the growth of shitty bacteria somehow or another. I mean, there's a lot of stuff like that in nature. Tea tree oil is a big one for that. Promotes healthy bacteria, kills off all the bad shit. I use it every day. And just keeping everything dry. Tea tree oil is a big one for that. Promotes healthy bacteria, kills off all the bad shit.

I use it every day. And just keeping everything dry. That's good, too. But what if you live in the jungle, bitch? Just make sure you're circumcised, too. Oh, yeah. That's probably where they're getting it. Right?

Sweaty dick in the jungle. A lot of ringworm everywhere. Your body has a whole system you know and that that whole system is is fortified by you eating fermented foods and things that are probiotic and yogurt and like those is like strategies that people have come up with over the years to introduce probiotic foods into their diet and some of it was by accident by just trying to preserve things and they fermented and some of it was you know they figured out like hey you know we can do this and and i have a better result with that and you know that's that's really what's the the cause of a lot of skin issues i mean you're going to get ringworm anyway if you're exposed to it all the time and you have open sores you can't

get to a shower in time it's totally likely that you could get it. But I guarantee you your recovery time and the instances that you get it will be less likely. If you take acidophilus, if you take I like kombucha, there's a bunch of different probiotics you can take. And it's just very smart thing for your body.

But that's one of the things about Diet Coke. I think Diet Coke as delicious as it is wrecks your healthy skin flora. Oh, man. Or your gut flora, right? Yeah, it probably does. I just read the other day, like, if you drink one Diet Coke a day, like something about Alzheimer's, I think it is, where there's like a direct connection to, I forget what it was, but that's pretty scary. Diet Coke's so bad for you.

Took out Tammy Faye Baker. Yeah. That's what took her out. that's pretty scary. Diet Coke's so bad for you. Took out Tammy Faye Baker. Yeah. That's what took her out, Diet Coke. That's what they say. Just one can of Coke. Oh, triple your risk of stroke. Meanwhile, Donald Trump drinks 12 a day. Yeah.

That motherfucker's invincible. Those are just Cokes. They're probably better for you. No, he drinks Diet Coke. He drinks Diet Coke and McDonald's. Did you see this story? What? Mysterious Loch Ness-type sea creature washes ashore on Georgia Beach.

What? Come on. That's seaweed. They don't know what it is, apparently. And this just came out yesterday, but they're still like marine wildlife experts, quote-unquote, don't know what it is. That's the only picture of it? Yeah, there's this video of it.

Let me see that again. Wait, how big is that? It's about five feet long, I think. It's like a plesiosaur that's what they said that certain uh sea mammals can decompose to look like that wow and i don't know it just showed up on a beach show me show me that video again oh there's the picture get bigger with that i blurred out the part where it's like a gut or something whoa it looks like it's just a piece of seaweed and it's like one inch long. That's hilarious.

They blurred out the guts. They're going to show you this dead body, but they blur out the guts. No, go back to the picture. I was going to show the live video. No, no, no. Just let me see it. The flippers are very unusual, like in that long-ass neck. That's a very weird animal, whatever that is.

That would be fucking dope if they found some new crazy-looking dinosaur-type fish right off the coast of Georgia. There's so much shit down there. I mean, you think about how many different animals and organisms they are constantly finding on Earth, right? I mean, that new crayfish that they found in the ocean that's all female that reproduces by cloning. Have you heard about that one? They're finding these fucking things constantly, and that's in fresh water. But we have a way better account and understanding of what's going on in fresh water than we do of the ocean.

There's so much down there that we don't know. There's so many life forms down there that we're not aware of. Do you know how much of the ocean floor has been explored? I think less than 10%. Less than 5%. I don't understand why we're so concerned about going to a different planet

when we haven't even figured out this planet yet. That's ridiculous. When James Cameron went and as his movie, the movie he made to go as far down as anybody has gone, I was looking into this the other day.

He didn't break the record. In 1960, two guys got into a submarine and went lower than he did by like 100 meters or some shit whoa like 29 000 feet or something down jesus and it's still there's still more and i think they just discovered an area near where they were going that's lower than what they thought the deepest part of the ocean was stop there for a second 29 000 feet under the ground isn't a mile five thousand feet so what what yeah are you serious

like they're almost six miles down 35 797 feet is the actual record what in the fuck man that's seven miles is that real yeah think seven miles. Seven miles is like here to Studio City. There's the thing that they did in the... Now imagine doing it underwater. How far can you see? You can't see seven miles, right? No. Like the distance of the curve of the earth?

The curve of the earth, like... It's flat. It's flat, Joe. Yeah, but if you're flat, if you're on, like, sea level, and you're looking straight, how far can you see? On a clear day, I think you could probably see seven or eight miles. Probably farther. That's nuts, man. Seven miles.

Is this the guy? Yeah, there's two guys, actually. They're still alive? Don Walsh and Jacques Picard. I bet you never recover from something like that. You go all the way down there, and you're just like, what in the fuck? What in the fuck? What in the fuck?

What in the fuck? Your DNA probably changes like those astronaut guy. Yeah, they explained that. That was exaggerated. That people were oversimplifying the situation to say that this DNA didn't change the way you think it did. It's probably just like one molecule off or something like that. It's probably not that big of a deal. It's probably just like one molecule off or something like that it's probably not that big of a deal it's probably off though i mean what what what what are they saying caused him

see um google astronauts dna didn't change the way you think it did i think um we just don't understand like how it yeah no scott ke Scott Kelly's DNA did not change in space. And this is from... Waste.com. It's a local news station. Oh, W-A-T-E.com. It's probably just an AP story they put up. Yeah, I think it exactly is,

because I know I saw it on something else. Get it a little bigger so I can read it here. After the internet was abuzz about astronaut Scott Kelly's purported altered DNA after his year in space, NASA has clarified the findings in their study. His DNA did not change by 7%. He is still an identical twin to his brother Mark. I want my money back. From all those things I clicked, you fuckheads.

NASA says University of Tennessee's graduate gene's expression changed by about 7%. Gene expression is how your body reacts to your environment and stress factors. They said this level of change in gene expression was within the expected range for humans in stressful environments like scuba diving or mountain climbing. Boom. You fucks. So every time you go mountain climbing,

you're not an identical twin to your brother anymore. We're assholes. We're just lying to ourselves. We just lie to ourselves for clicks. I'm mad. I'm mad enough. It's like these people need to be punished for their clickbait. Yeah.

They're doing it on purpose. It's worse on YouTube. I mean, you could put up a little thumbnail And get people clicking on stuff And make thousands of dollars just for that That's true yeah I went deep on YouTube the other day Have you ever watched somebody die from rabies? Oh no

There's videos of people dying from rabies on YouTube It's the most fascinating thing ever Like I didn't know people still died from rabies But there's like people that have rabies, and if you watch, it's haunting. You pretty much are going crazy. Why don't they just kill them? Yeah.

Why do we need people to die 100% naturally? What is that about? It's so interesting to watch these videos. Man, what year is this? It seems like 50s, 60s, or something like like that and you just die rabies you don't bounce back right right and it's very sad you can't hold water in uh so you just constantly spit out water i oh shit dude um this is scary stuff man he's trying to eat yeah it doesn't it won't work he just puts it in his mouth and he'll spit it out probably what a fucked up disease man rabies is so crazy because

it really is like a zombie disease for dogs right yeah for dogs or animals they get it they oh my god look at me foaming at the mouth yeah now let Now, let me ask you this. At what point in time did you just give this guy a lethal dose of morphine and get this over with? Right now. Why did they let him get this far gone? They're just letting him die on his own. What is it about people that want people to die on their own? There's a certain amount we know about the human body, right? When it gets to that sort of a stage,

I mean, the guy's foaming at the mouth mouth twitching and bucking while he's strapped to a bed and there's videos of kids just like little like like three-year-old kids having rabies like and you can't do anything just have to they should kill her but like it's what do they do now i think they just let him today suffer today i don't think you're allowed to kill anybody you know no no i mean i mean if you have rabies do they have a cure i think you like like if as an example if you get bit by a raccoon you have to go through all those like 100 shots right you know type thing uh i don't know how long you have till to do that anybody that thinks that all vaccinations are bad is a fucking idiot. If you really think that it's all some sort of a big giant conspiracy to ruin people and make a ton of money, you're crazy. If people are getting jacked by vaccinations, that is an unfortunate side effect of one of the most spectacular things that human beings have ever created.

They created a way to combat diseases that killed untold millions i mean think about the fucking malaria vaccinations they can give you malaria shots a bunch of different shit that they give you or malaria pills you take pills and then you you go over there and you live where malaria kills everybody. Polio. I mean, they basically wiped out polio. Didn't it just recently come back? It's because people aren't vaccinating their kids anymore.

Yeah. There's a lot of people that aren't. That's stupid. Mumps, measles. There's a lot of different ones that are making their way back. Yeah, I mean, they figured out. Look, it's not perfect, but there's not a damn thing that involves putting chemicals in your body that's perfect. Not a damn thing.

But what they've done with vaccinations is fucking amazing. Now, I think I agree with you on flu shots. I don't get flu shots. I don't get it. I've never had one. I don't think that they don't work. I think they work sometimes. But I know people that have taken flu shots and gotten sick.

Yeah, because it's the flu. And you're not supposed to. But usually for a couple days you might be a little sick. Who wants that? What is this? The disease expresses itself in two forms. Furious rabies, whoa, 70% of human cases, cause hyper-excited behavior, a strong fear of water,

and sometimes a strong fear of flying. This will eventually result in death by cardiorespiratory arrest. Paralytic rabies, 30%, is a less exciting and takes longer to kill you. With it, your muscles gradually paralyze, beginning at the source of the infection and spreading outwards. What is this article from? Everything You Want to Know About Rabies. Is that Gizmodo?

Yeah. Wow. With extreme aggression that most strongly characterizes disease. When animals have it, what's fascinating to me is that they want to bite you. So, which would help spread the disease. It's almost like the disease uses the

animal system and makes the animal more likely to bite. Like it's like piloting the animal and getting it to attack zombie yeah have you ever seen the the the rat with rabies chasing the cat i mean i think we've talked about yes it's not rabies the rat has toxoplasma it's a different thing it's a different parasite oh yeah that's a thing that's um super common with cats and rats and people get it and somewhere around 50 million americans have it affects your judgment uh makes you more impulsive and it um there's a direct relationship to people

who are toxoplasma infected and motorcycle accidents yeah they're more likely to get motorcycle accidents robert sapolsky talked about he was He was on a podcast we did. It's one of my favorite ones, but it was really quick. It was only for us. It was like an hour. And Sapolsky is just world-renowned for his study of toxoplasma and what it does to people. But it affects the cats. Well, first of all, it affects the rat's sexual reward system. Hijacks its brain, gives it a boner.

They get erect at the smell of cat urine sometimes. Wow. And it takes away their fear of cats completely. So they go wander around cats, the cats kill them, and then they get into the cat that way because they can only reproduce inside the cat's digestive system. It's crazy. So these worms get into the cat's body so they can reproduce,

and then they shit out cat shit people come in contact with the cat shit sometimes even through their feet through walking around barefoot around cat shit the the toxo gets into their system and it affects the way they behave some crazy amount of people in the world have it like at one point in time in france it was more than 40 of the people had had it. Yeah, it's nuts. Yeah, that's what's doing it to that cat. That was rabies. There's a lot of those things, man. How about that aquatic worm that makes grasshoppers drown themselves?

Yes. Grows inside a bug's body and then says, hey, faggot, why don't you go jump in that water? I will jump in that water. And they jump in the water and they drown. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. They talk this organism into killing itself so that they can pop out in the water and they jump in the water and they drown. It's crazy. It's crazy. They talk this organism into killing itself so they can pop out

in the water and live. There's a bunch of things like that in nature. We have to wonder how did this evolve? What kind of... What's going on? What is the actual process that allows something to evolve

into a plant that can eat a rat? You ever see that plant that gets all slippery and smells good, so the rats come near and they fall into the hole? It's into this, this looks like a tulip, like a giant, thick tulip, and it just absorbs the rat. How the fuck did that start? That's what it does all the time. It tricks the rats.

It's like, what the fuck? What was stage one? What was that thing like in the beginning? Did it catch a bug? Bugs are cool, but I like to get one of them furry fuckers. It's always chewing on my leaves. There's just so many different forms of life, and this is all we know about

Earth. We were talking about exploring the ocean imagine if we found some crazy fucking half human looking things that live under there i think i told you about this before but there's this uh plant it's on planet earth too so i'm not really going to show the footage but it has these seedlings on this specific island somewhere that these birds come and land and they eat the seeds and then they also they get stuck to the birds bodies and as they fly around that's how it spreads but the birds can get them stuck to them so much that it gets stuck on the ground and they can't fly anymore

and they end up dying and then being decomposed and the plant sort of like grows out of them yeah yeah they're covered in these things. Like the bird's trying to clean the things off them. Yeah. Do the birds eat them? Oh, look, he's decomposing. Yeah. And the tree's growing out of them. Fuck.

Yeah, it's crazy. That's insane. The Planet Earth 2 stuff is awesome. Oh, yeah. Planet Earth and Planet Earth 2 are both amazing. Yeah. I mean, when you see the very bizarre ways that nature figures out how to take advantage of a situation, my favorite one is that cordyceps mushroom that grows in those ants.

And the other ants recognize that this is a problem, that this thing died with these ants. These ants died with these mushrooms growing inside of it. And the spores will build up inside this thing's body and then explode and spray through the air and infect all the other ants around it like literally like it's like a bomb and somehow or another the ants know this so the ants take the body and they drag it out of town they're like we got to get them out of here before the poor blows i mean it's literally like someone throws the handgrain in your. You just chuck it out just in time It's fucking nuts, man. I

Love shit like that. It's fucking nuts. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. I mean it really is How does it know I mean how these goddamn ants know that they have to get this thing out of there? So the things dead right and then little spores start growing out of its head. See the spore growing out of its head? Look at this. It's crazy. Wow, that's nuts. Yeah. So the mushrooms grow inside their bodies.

And I don't know how the ants know this, but the ants know they got to get that fucking thing out of town. Wow. And they drag them away. Maybe it's like a smell. I mean, I don't think ants are cannibals but look how crazy that is this thing grows out of its body

how is that any different than like the Prometheus movie or alien movies you know I mean how is that different it's really not it's some crazy organism that eats its host

and the ants look mushrooms is it mushrooms that thrive off of carbon monoxide or something dioxide they they're just like us they eat oxygen and breathe carbon dioxide now here's the thing the cordyceps mushrooms that get harvested for things like on it shroom tech the way they harvest those things is off caterpillars. Really? Yes. Oh. So like this.

So those mushrooms wouldn't be psychedelic? Like has anyone tried to take those little ant mushrooms? No, they're not psychedelic. I mean, there's a bunch of different kinds of cordyceps mushroom. But what they found is that high altitude yak herders or cattle herders i think it was cattle i forget what it was they noticed that when their animals were eating these mushrooms they were more active and so they started feeding their mushrooms you know feeding the mushrooms to people and they had some pretty great results with it

and they started noticing that it helps people and they did some pretty great results with it and they started noticing that it helps people and they did some studies on it there's you can go to on it and you can read the the studies on cordyceps mushrooms or just google it independently there's some interesting studies the chinese see that's a little tricky though they say the chinese olympic team used them and they they won a bunch of medals here's what's tricky about that. It's entirely likely that they said, oh yeah, we were only using the mushrooms. Definitely no steroids. Right.

You know, I mean, in the interest of full disclosure, I mean, I'm wearing a fucking on it t-shirt, right? Um, it's entirely possible they were doing steroids too.

Most likely that they were doing steroids. Did you see Icarus? Did you see that movie? I think they're all doing steroids. I think like, especially doing steroids. I think especially all those communist countries that rely so heavily on propaganda like Russia. Russia's been doing...

They had a state-sponsored drug program. 100%. It's all documented in that movie. So when China says they won these track and field medals because they were taking this cordyceps mushroom, I bet it helped. I bet it helped. I bet it helped. I take it,

but guess what? It doesn't feel like a steroid. When I take shroom tech, it's like a nice little boost. I get a little boost, just a little bit, not speedy, but a little boost.

I definitely feel an extra gear, but it ain't like I'm not, you know, there's some other shit too. Those guys were doing, they fucking do everything they can, man. Anything they can get away with,

whatever the fuck they can get away with whatever the fuck they can get away with they do and they're not testing them all the time they're just not if they are they're hiding shit people get busted they've already proven that people get busted and they let them slide you know there's a lot of influence peddling i mean maybe it'll be less now because uh russia wasn't even allowed to compete now the people had to compete under the olympic flag the certain athletes russia's crazy. You see that dude. They killed in England the nerve gas is he dead yet? Is him and his daughter or something like that or his wife? They killed him in England with nerve gas really

Well, he's not dead. He might as well be dead. He's on his way to dead. He's incredible horrible critical condition It's just like this is some spy versus spy shit. And this is some, really, it's like some movie shit. They're killing him with nerve gas. They're killing him, you know. I think he was like a double agent or something. Is that what he was? Supposedly, Russia's now hacking our power grades.

Oh, no. I guess he didn't die in their Senate. If it was a Russian military grade agent, he would have died on the spot, obviously, is what Putin said. Oh, that's what Putin said. Fuck. We should definitely listen to him always. What is... Remain in critical condition.

Pull up a story on him. Who is he and why? Why are they trying to whack this dude? He's in critical condition Well, hold on go up scroll up Putin calls Russian poisoned ex-spy nonsense and delirium. Oh, well, then they definitely did it make that bigger Sloughed off the notion that Russia was behind the poisoning former Russian spy and his daughter Saying any sensible person would understand that this is delirium and nonsense.

It is unthinkable that we would do such a thing. The first thing that came to mind, if it was a military-grade agent, he would have died on the spot. They would have died on the spot, obviously, said Putin, speaking in the party headquarters in Moscow, shortly after he spoke to a crowd in central Moscow. Russia does not have any such agents. We destroyed it all.

Okay. I don't believe that. Putin also says he's never met Trump before the election. And then there's like video from like three years ago. Trump's like, I met Putin, you know, and like. Oh, really? Yeah. It's just like, oh, bullshit.

Everything's bullshit. It's a fun time, though. I hate it. i think this is a fun time you like this yeah i'm okay i'm enjoying it uh because i think this is what's fun about this time is um even with like and this is partly because we have a guy like trump in office is that everything seems like there's nobody at the wheel. Everything, from top to bottom. There's people scrambling to take the wheel. I'll take the wheel and right this ship. But there's no one at the wheel.

It's all craziness right now. It's craziness culturally. It's craziness politically. It's craziness economically. None of it makes any sense. It's racially crazy. People are mad at Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars for cultural appropriation.

How is that possible? I mean, there's so many different things that are happening today that are so outrageous. Oh, how about this one? A guy got fucking sentenced, or he got convicted and will be sentenced soon. I think he gets sentenced in April for getting his dog to make a Hitler salute. Making a video. Yes, it's on April, for getting his dog to make a Hitler salute. Making a video. Yes, it's on my Twitter page. I retweeted it.

The guy is in Scotland, and he's a proud shit poster. He's one of those guys. Jamie loves shit posters. It's one of his favorite things. Me too. No. But he's one of those guys that just posts stupid shit to get a reaction from people and so just to piss

his girlfriend off he decided to try to get his dog to do the Hitler salute, the Nazi salute and you know he gets his dog to do it on this video and he says gas the Jews apparently you know trying to like get his dog

to do this like when he i guess you know he thought it was funny right then he puts it on youtube not only does it get him in trouble which i get people being mad like hey that's insensitive okay whatever that's what he's trying to be insensitive they fucking arrested him they tried him and they convicted him. Which country? Scotland. The UK. I mean, this guy's convicted and now he'll be sentenced. It's fucking crazy.

Have you seen the video? Jamie, pull up that video. Because it's crazy to watch. It's not that big a deal. The sentencing has been pushed off up until sometime next month. Yeah, that's what I said. Pull up the video. Oh.

That's one thing up until sometime next month. Yeah, that's what I said. What is the, pull up the video. I'm trying to figure it out. Yeah, he's, um. That's one thing about the United States, man. You forget about free speech. Like, I was talking to somebody from a different country recently. He goes, you have no idea how big that is. And we kind of take it for granted. It's giant.

It's giant. Yeah. It's giant. And it's everything. Okay. It has been identified by YouTube community as inappropriate and offensive to some audiences. I understand.

Please proceed. Give me some volume. And so I thought I would turn them into the least cute thing that I could think of. Oh, but you can't even understand a word he says. Why don't they just speak English? Buddha. God. Try Gassajus. Gassajus? Try Gassajus. that I could think of. Oh, but you can't even understand a word he says. Why don't they just speak English? God.

Do you want to gas the juice? Gas the juice? Do you want to gas the juice? More gas the juice, son. Do you want to gas the juice? Do you want to gas the juice? Come on, gas the juice. More gas the juice, son.

More. Do you want to gas the juice? So it took him forever to teach this dog this? Is this the idea? Yeah. that's why we're watching this over and over again oh god oh my gosh Zeke Hive

oh wow oh boy Zeke Hive that's adorable it is very cute Zeke Hive taught the dog to do that it's crazy

oh that's it man that sucks that It's crazy. That's it. Oh, that's it. Man, that sucks that he's getting... Well, it's a classic shit post video. It's like these guys, this is the whole Pepe the Frog thing. You can take it down. This is the whole, it's all the same shit. It's a bunch of people that are having fun saying shit that's totally inappropriate. This is what it is.

That's what that is. That's the same thing. And the people that think that inappropriate this is what it is that's what that is that's the same thing and the people that think that like anybody who would do that is a nazi you're not correct that's not true i guarantee you that guy's not a nazi i think i don't know i'm assuming he's not a nazi i'm assuming he's a poster he's a guy who's trying to be funny 100 that's just ignorance, and that funniness is funny to them. See, here's the thing. You might not like it. You might think it's horribly inoffensive,

but here's the thing. No Jews got gassed during the making of that video. And the worst thing it did is get racists to laugh. The best thing it did is get people to talk about what's appropriate. There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, it's not good. I mean, I don't like it. I wouldn't do it I wouldn't tell people hey, this is the most awesome video ever come watch it

but to put that guy not only to put him on trial, but to fucking convict him and Scotland how dare you you people are supposed to be ahead of the curve Scotland supposed to be a pretty fucking badass place You people are supposed to be ahead of the curve. Scotland's supposed to be a pretty fucking badass place. That's ridiculous. Isn't Scotland, though, like a place that you... I think it's Scotland where you can't even talk about sex on stage. You can cuss. You can, like, pull a tit out.

But, like, if you talk about sex, I think it's Scotland. I don't know about that because Billy Connolly's from Scotland. And Billy Connolly's a pretty famous worldwide comedian I think I sweet a pretty outrageous guy. I might be thinking of Sweden. Yeah, cuz Connolly's pretty he's he's like In the line of like popular American stand-up comics of his era He was a very respected guy and he's from Scotland must be I think I'm thinking of Sweden. Maybe I don't know I don't know jack shit

about those other countries that I only visit occasionally. Right, but when you go to, when you go to these countries to do comedy, do you ever have to be like, hey,

don't talk about? No, I wouldn't go. If I went to a place they told me I couldn't talk about something, I'd be like, well,

why would I go there? I'll just go somewhere where I can talk about anything. I don't want to go somewhere where I can only talk about certain things. It's like, I've done a few, air quote,

clean shows in my day where I got a gig, especially when I was first starting out. They're like, hey, can you do a half an hour clean? And I go, okay, yeah. And I would just edit. I would just edit the shit out of something, use words that, you know, there's like innuendo that you can get away with

and I could sort of squeak by with a bullshit half hour set, you know. But I would never do that today. Like I don't want to. I don't want to. It's just like what I want to be able to do is find out what's the best way to express the thoughts that are in my mind that are funny. The best way is never by censoring yourself. The best way is by figuring out what's the best way to express yourself.

Sometimes censorship can be a tool, though, for writing. Like if you know that you can't swear or you know. Like for joke writing. One of the cool things about Twitter was that you had 140 characters. Now, obviously, you have more. You have 280. But the 140 made you write a joke very concisely if you wanted to be funny you know you'd have to have set up punchline cut out all you like oh i'm 10 10 letters over shit and you back it up a little

oh just take this out i could say it in one word it makes you understand the economy of words better and sometimes that's the case with writing too like you can get out of a joke easy by just adding swear words or adding sexual innuendo or stuff like that. But that doesn't, but that's like just an exercise. Like when you're actually expressing yourself, when you're actually doing the work, like going on stage, doing a show, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want. Otherwise, it's not stand up. And it's either funny or it's not funny. I mean, it's not funny. You just weren't funny. But it's either funny or it's not funny. If it's not funny, you just weren't funny.

But it's not because it's the subject matter. That's just fucking stupid. That's stupid. Because anything can be almost anything can be funny. I'm sure there's probably a few things that can't be. But for the most part if you think it's funny, if you have a point it's possible.

Did you see what happened with Hannibal the other day? Another thing? Yeah, he got a gig at Loyola Chicago and they cut his it's possible did you see what happened with hannibal the other day another thing yeah he uh went he got a gig at loyola chicago and they cut his mic after he supposedly said some stuff that they mutually agreed he shouldn't say but what he put the email up on a projector i guess i was making jokes about catholic church hannibal burris sex stand-up set is interrupted at Loyola after his sex abuse joke. They cut his mic, and then everyone started booing. Everyone was laughing, apparently. And all the kids are saying they should have known what they were getting themselves into, basically.

Well, you can't do colleges, man. I've been telling people. You can't do colleges. No way. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. It's a lot of money, though. That's the thing.

Colleges will pay you some serious cash. When I was coming up in the early days, I did one of those NACA conferences. And if you, like National Association for College Campus Activities, I think it is. And if you get booked by a bunch of schools, dude, it is amazing. It's amazing. You make thousands of dollars. It is great. That was the first time I made good money. of schools dude it is amazing it's amazing you make thousands of dollars it was great like i'm that was the first time i made good money i would travel and i'd go to all these different weird

like fucking olivet michigan some university there and some weird university in the middle of nowhere in ohio and they take you out to some local fucking country bar afterwards you're doing shots with kids to go to school there because i was basically their age right you know or a couple years older this is when i was like 23 or 24 maybe you know and they were all like 20 so we're all like in the same wheelhouse and then there's people that work the school that were even older they come out drinking with you too different times man but you could make real money like you do a gig and you'd make a thousand dollars or fifteen hundred dollars or two thousand dollars like holy shit for one show it was crazy But you could make real money. Like you'd do a gig and you'd make $1,000 or $1,500 or $2,000. Like, holy shit, for one show.

It was crazy for an unknown comedian. So everybody, like, aspired to do those college gigs. But back then, man, even back then, they were real sensitive. Kids are real sensitive. And they're always looking to – they don't have a lot of life experience, right? So their life experience is limited to 18 years. Most of it's been under the care of their parents for most kids. Then all of a sudden they're at school and they're flexing their wings and their muscles and they object to things and they've decided that these things are inappropriate and these things shouldn't be said and this isn't true.

They can't take certain – they can't take a lot of sarcasm. They don't know – I mean they take you literally too often they think some subjects are just period taboo because they are period taboo in offices and in some schools and there's some things they can't say so if they can't say they don't want you to say it it's a very weird time for kids you know that's why it's so crazy that you have all these fucking dorks that are stuck in that system that graduated from college then started teaching and have these ridiculous marxist ideas and loony fucking left-wing ideologies and they're brainwashing these kids about gender neutral or gender fluidity and making safe spaces and all this stupid shit. Like what you're doing is, is like further cushioning and coddling them. And then they're just, what are they going to do?

They're just going to join academia as well. They're going to get through their schooling and then teach in this weird insulated little thought bubble that you guys have created. So when people look at these people screaming and yelling and calling people Nazis and on school campuses and all this fucking chaos that's going on. This is what happens. This is what happens when you baby people. This is what happens when you set up this environment where they can never ever interface with the real world. They just exist in this super hypersensitive, hyper progressive bubble

where nothing is produced nothing is created you're just teaching people ideas and you're teaching people ideas and the ideas are being they're being promoted by a person who in a lot of situations has never even been out in the real world working like they're it's a bullshit fucking thing and then they have tenure so they can never be fired whoo it's crazy nerfing it's fascinating it's pretty fascinating though you know that this this these are these they're in a lot of ways it's kind of like royalty in a lot of ways it's kind of like like weird political systems that get corrupt like things ideas get corrupt as much as like finances get corrupt like people feel a way to extract social points by promoting their ideas and by forcing their ideas down other people's throats

and having them accept it and mimic that as well and also reinforce it that they're doing their life right and everybody else is doing their life wrong. So it becomes this weird psychological wrestling match that people are doing with people, you know, in the outside world. I mean, I've had a lot of guests on to talk about this subject,

but I think the subject, it's one of the reasons why it rings true to people is because I think we all realize this is happening in just in life in general. And there's a lot of weird control battles going on in life in general. And in telling a guy that he can't have his dog say see i can't say see his dog and have his dog lift his arm up telling a guy that he can't do that it's just stupid because you're you're making it a way bigger thing than it should be it should be a stupid video that no one cares about i mean it's still up on youtube so that

shows you how right now how stupid it is. Yank shit left and right. Do you see what YouTube did to Crowder when Stephen Crowder went to this, they went to an LBGTQ event in Austin and he had a dude show

up saying that he identifies as a robot and he says all this really rude shit. Twitter got him in trouble, not YouTube. Was YouTube still have it up? I thought they put it up there. I thought it was demonetized. Twitter banned him.

Yeah, but I thought YouTube banned him as well. Facebook banned him? No. Someone else did too. I didn't know YouTube did it. Someone else did too. It might be YouTube. Check.

Either way. People are trying to control what people do and don't say. it might be YouTube check either way um people are trying to control what people do and don't say and I think when you do that you run into real problems like who the fuck are you who are you who are you to decide you know and even

Noam Chomsky said something about Sam Harrison Jordan Peterson that free speech does not does not apply to hate speech. Like, what? Like, yes, it does. Yes, it does. That's crazy. That's someone who's really smart can say it doesn't.

Yeah. Okay, so it's available on YouTube. So he put some post saying that he was blocked from something. Doesn't matter. The point is, one thing that's been shown is that they're trying to silence more. They're trying to stop the spread of conservative ideology and spread liberal ideology. Like they're actively trying to do that i feel like there's a real worry that when you have a platform whether it's youtube or something like that

that you could get infected by like say shit posters if shit posters just they're more they're more prolific right they're like if you just look at the comments on youtube like in a lot of like really popular things the comments are horrific like way disproportionate to how they would be in the real world like the comments and the p the anger that you find in a lot of youtube videos especially if you look at like the comments of podcasts holy shit dude people are opinionated right they got some got some crazy, wild fucking opinion. Now, if you were YouTube, you'd be like, we have to figure out a way to stop people from saying faggot. Or we have to figure out a way to stop people from doing this or stop people from being homophobic. We have to figure out a way to stop people from supporting Trump.

We have to figure out a way to stop people from talking about the wall. We have to figure out a way. And as soon as you start doing that kind of stuff, you run into a real slippery where you're deciding what people should and shouldn't be able to say, even if it's legal. That gets real weird because then you don't have a free speech platform. You have a left wing platform. Like your platform is now left wing. And I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm saying it strengthens the position of the people that you oppose because they are being suppressed. Like you can see they're being suppressed, even if they're wrong. You put a guy in jail because his dog says, lists his paw up when he says, see, hi. Like, boy, you just looked real fucking stupid to most people, and now the fight is on.

And now it's going gonna be this swarm of controversy where people are freaking I just found out about it yesterday I just found out about it last night I think might not even it might have been this morning when I woke up YouTube is reported I'd you hear about this your kids because what this famous conspiracy theorist his videos have been coming up in the YouTube kids app teaching like flat earth type shit And like we didn't go to the planet where moon good stuff Yeah, what a good move. He was getting in a lot of

You know where they can hold this too much. Here's the thing about YouTube No, this is in defense of them because I talked though I had dinner with some big wigs at YouTube and there was some of the stuff They said was very annoying and not calling things hate speech. They just weren't. Like talking about someone who got a community guideline strike because they put a conversation up in their playlist between Sam Harris and Douglas Murray, two intellectuals, and they said that it was because it was hate speech. And I was like, the fact they could just say that just drove me nuts but they're

dealing with who knows how many videos every day I mean it's insane how could they fuck how could they possibly even know the videos okay the total number of people use YouTube is what is that number billion oh my god three one billion three hundred million three hundred hours of video uploaded to God. $1,300,000,000. 300 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute. Almost 5 billion videos are watched on YouTube every single day. In an average month, 8 out of 10 18 to 49-year-olds watch YouTube. One of the things this woman said to me that I agree with her on,

I mean, I believe her, because this is not about opinion. It's about the way YouTube works. She said, right now we have very crude tools to find offensive speech, hate speech. They're very crude tools. Sometimes they miss the mark. And sometimes when you're dealing with like subtlety, like humor, like I could say, hey, you fuck. And you know, people go, oh, he was angry. Like, obviously not. You hear the tone. You know, like someone saying that, they're saying it to friends and they're joking around and they're being silly and everybody's laughing. YouTube misses that. They don't know what's humor and what's not.

So are you saying that you can never make a joke about a guy's dick? Are you can never make a joke about a girl's vagina? Are you never make a joke about heterosexual sex? Can you? No, no, you can do that. Okay. Can I make a joke about gay sex? No, no, you can't. Oh, I see. Because I'm not gay. Okay. Can I make a joke about white people? Yes. Can you make a joke about black people? No. Okay. What are we doing here? What are we doing? You're deciding what people can and can't say. And then they're also demonetizing things. And we've had some demonetized ones that were just like, okay, there's got to be some sort of an algorithm going on here where there's a word we say. And that word triggers some sort of a response.

And then they say that it's up for – we have it up for manual review sometimes. But our Douglas Murray one where we talked about YouTube demonetizing videos, that one got demonetized. Jesus. So it's like, okay, are they doing that to fuck with us

or are they doing that because Douglas talked about radical fundamentalist Islam? Like, what is it? In their defense, it's just their platform. They should be able

to do whatever they want. Should they though? Because what are they then? If it's, who is they? Who is they? The people they hired like doesn't that shift like the assumption is that everybody who works in management everybody who works behind the scenes all shares a mindset that's crazy that doesn't even make any sense that's not even a society like group think tanks like that like if they all agree and this was one of the things that

james demore pointed out about google it's like they don't leave any room whatsoever for conservatives like they absolutely discriminate against conservatives i'm not conservative but if i was and i worked at a company like google imagine how fucking on the outside you would feel like is it illegal to be conservative like Like, isn't there a responsible, ethical form of conservatism that's not racist, not homophobic, but presumes that a conservative person in power would be more fiscally responsible, will have economic policies that they agree with,

interventionist policies they agree with? I don't think that that's outside the realm of possibility that a reasonable person could be conservative. But if you work for any big tech company, that's not in the menu. You don't get to be that. Like you don't get to promote that. You don't get to agree with that. It's weird.

It's not good because it's not open speech. You're supposed to be able to talk shit through. I like to listen to someone who has a very strong opinion about something and see if it resonates with me. Now if you stop that, it'll stifle that. I was just going to say, demonetizing a video though isn't censoring someone. It's encouraging censorship. This is why.

Because you don't want to be demonetized. If you have a video and that video can make you $500 if it's up and it gets ads, or it can make you $0. That's a $500 incentive for you to not talk about whatever the fuck got it demonetized. Right, but that then makes your argument of like what were you making the content for in the first place? No, it doesn't. Are you just making it to make money? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a motivation for you to censor your speech.

Whatever you're making it for in the first place, you presume that someone was just making it to make it. But there's an absolute monetary value if they put ads on it. So if they take away the monetary value and they do it specifically because you chose a certain subject, that is in fact a form of censorship. What they're doing is encouraging you to self-censor in order to make more money. They can say, hey, you can do whatever the fuck you want, but we're going to decide that if you talk about fill in the blank, that subject, no money.

So don't talk about that subject anymore. They're not going to give you money because they're sharing that money with you, though. You could still share that video on your Twitter channel. You could still share it on your blog and still make money if you could find your own advertisers. I see what you're doing. I see what you're doing.

But it's not a good argument. The reason why it's not a good argument is because they made a concerted decision. They made a very clear decision to take away the ads on videos where they don't like what you're saying. That just could be because they don't have advertisers that are willing to pay them. That's the way I would look at it. The advertisers that didn't want to pay them because of Douglas Murray and Sam Harris talking? Maybe they couldn't find the money for it, and they're like,

I guess what, this is not monetized. Okay, but you don't know this. This is a weird suggestion. I'm making a guess. But you're doing this to try to reinforce your original opinion. It is censorship. It's a form of censorship. I think that demonetizing is not a good thing because of other ways,

other reasons that it happens on YouTube because they then have an incentive to share monetized videos because they're making money on them. I get that, but it's just because it's demonetized. I understand that. YouTube has an incentive to share monetized videos because they're sharing in the profit

of every single video. A monetized video doesn't, a creator doesn't get 100% of the money. They get half of the money. Right. YouTube gets the other half. So if a video is monetized, they benefit in sharing it. Right, right, right.

So that even reinforces more the idea that they're censoring. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But like, they're censoring the ability for it to be shared in the YouTube platform,

not on the internet. That's true. As a whole. But they're not censoring. What they're doing is promoting self-censorship by giving you a fiscal reward for following their line. Again, that's just what I'm saying. As a creator, if you're making content to just make money on YouTube, then you have to play by the rules. Yeah.

I understand what you're saying. But what my point about all this is, is what they're doing is like they're making their own, they're making these decisions. And who is making these decisions? That also could be definitely said. They should say, these are the rules. Right. I'm the person responsible for making that statement.

What are the rules? Here's the thing. They don't say. This is what's weird about it. It's totally arbitrary. There's no written law that you have to follow. There's no like, oh, you can't say cunt. Because if you say cunt, Playtex doesn't want to advertise in your fucking video anymore.

No, there's not that. It's weird. They don't tell you what the demonetized video is. Like when we get one, they don't say it's because you guys talked bad about YouTube. No, it's not that. It's weird. Yeah, they don't tell you what the demonetized video is. Like, when we get one, they don't say it's because you guys talked bad about YouTube. No, they don't say shit. It's fucking weird, man. Vimeo's never fucked with me in eight years. YouTube fucks with me every day.

Right, but the thing about Vimeo is the difference in the numbers is so radical. Like, if we have a video that gets a million hits on YouTube, it'll get 20,000 on Vimeo. But, like, I've been using Vimeo live lately. And, you know, if you have YouTube live and you look at the chat room in YouTube, 90% just negative, angry, horseshit. Vimeo community, like, I think we had, like, 400 people last night watching Kill Tony. Everyone was positive, just nice, happy, no negative trolling. It was just like a different. It's not popular yet. Yeah yeah but it was a different environment it's like a small town it was like and that's what i don't get like youtube they don't have things like ip bands there like

if you get banned on youtube you just get a new gmail address and now you have a new fucking thing where like other places like vimeo and stuff like that you get banned you're pretty much banned banned you know that's how it should be right right it's like you to who should be deciding if you get banned banned it's gonna be an IP ban that someone was at your house and now you're banned from using YouTube because someone was over or a neighbor is using your Wi-Fi and they fucked you yeah it's also your responsibility to know that I guess what are you at Airbnb I mean that's like looking at kiddie porn like go to your friend's house and

look at kiddie porn you're you'd over to a friend's house and look at kiddie porn, and you would get arrested, you know, because it's your IP address. Or if you go over to a friend's house and watch his kiddie porn, do you get arrested? What if you do it in a car? You're not supposed to watch it, right?

No. Are you allowed to listen to it? That's a good question. Oh, you're here. Yeah, right? No, I bet you're not. I mean, but that's one of those things where we decide that people shouldn't have that in their life. You know?

But here's the question. What are they going to do when they have CGI that they can program to have very realistic-looking pedophile porn? But there's no human being involved in it. It's kind of like those dolls. You saw those dolls, those Petey dolls, pedophile dolls. What do you think about those? Do you think those should be the sex dolls, kid sex dolls? I don't know about that.

Disney's latest research project can turn scripts into virtual reality? What is that? Something new that's definitely not out yet, but they just showed this thing that they can turn written scripts into very crude CGI virtual reality experiences. Holy shit. Yeah.

So this is just the early version of it. This might take off if they decide to continue to push money into it and figure it out. So the words get deciphered by the computer which creates images? I believe so. I was trying to read it to understand

it. That's just sort of what they're saying. That's so crazy. That's sweet. That's so crazy. But that's inevitable. This is probably going to be like the upper level CGI. Like you're going to be able to write it, then you're going to be able to talk into it. And it's going to create things.

You're going to have a fucking headset on, and you're going to be in a room, and you're going to say, I want to be in the avatar world and ride a dragon and I want to be blue and I want to have a bow and arrow and I want to go to the tree of life and all that shit's going to be right in front of you. Yeah, they're going to just be able to do it with virtual

reality based on your suggestions and then they're going to figure out a way to get your brain to interface with that thing. Whereas they've already figured out a way to get a kid to move his cursor. Someone was paralyzed and they got this person to move their cursor. I don't know if it was a kid. They've had a bunch of different things where they've used the mind to control things. I did a thing on Joe Rogan questions everything where I put this headset on and I got a drone to listen to me.

I could get it to lift up off the ground if I thought a certain way. And that shit is coming. It's already out. But I mean that shit in your mind, be able to conceive a whole different world. Right. Did you see Annihilation? No.

It's trippy. What's that? That's the new movie from the ex-Machina guy. Oh, yeah. It's fucking good. Trippy. I didn't. Okay. Trippy. Trippy to the point where you go... What am I watching here, Jamie?

This... I think I showed you this once before, but this is a good video of it. This is an eye-tracking thing that's built into laptops. It's built into Alienware laptops now. Whoa. This guy's just looking at those dots and they're exploding. He's... Oh, so he's using...

Full mousers with just eyes. His eyes, just mice. Oh, my God. And it works really well. That's crazy. Yeah. So your eyes control the mouse? Yeah, you can play games with it, too.

Oh, my God. Like, he's moving around the world with just his eyes. No way. That would be amazing for your eyes. That seems like an awesome eye exercise. I bet it's not there yet, though. This is very, very new, and it's already out. And they just, like, announced the new Vive Pro.

Yeah, if you try to play Quake on this, they're going to fuck you up. Try to use your shitty eyes and some dude's holding a mouse. But it's very close to having this either in your phone, so you can just control games on your phone or put that in a little AR, VR headset. I can't say I'm shocked. Ready Player One this Friday. What is that?

The book. Have you ever heard of Ready Player One this Friday. What is that? The book. Have you ever heard of Ready Player One? It's about the future. It's a new Spielberg movie that comes out, I think, Friday. Oh, I've seen the ads for that. It's badass. Yeah, that looks crazy. Yeah.

Whew. It describes the whole future you keep bringing up. Everyone lives in a pod just locking into the VR world. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. Yeah, it's going to happen. This is Columbus, Ohio. Dude, how many people do you run into that are just not doing good, that are not living a good life? Like, everything's not going so well.

Like, I was just in Fresno the other day. And when we were driving, Tony and I did a gig up there. And when we were driving around the town, there's streets filled with homeless people I mean homeless like encampments everywhere I mean there's there's people that just are in a bad place and they can't it's not gonna get any better where they live if someone comes along and introduces something and it's just like a cell phone. Everybody has it. And you all lock into that thing. Yeah. Columbus, Ohio, 2045.

Is that what it is? This is what it's like. Homeless people all over the street. He puts his headset on. Now he's in the world. Yeah. The real cool thing, I think, about the movie, which is the plot, which doesn't give away much because I haven't read the book,

so I don't know. It sounds like something that could happen soon is that there's, like, a bug in the game, and there's a prize for it. Everyone's going after the bug prize. Whoever can find it, like Willy Wonka style, yeah, you can do the thing. And what's really interesting

is that the movie also has, because you pick an avatar, just like a video game or Facebook, so people are picking like, I want to be King Kong. So King Kong's in it and like Back to the Future car's in it and Akira's motorcycle's in it

and the Iron Giant's in it and oh, Freddy Krueger's in it, and like Back to the Future car's in it, and Akira's motorcycle's in it, and the Iron Giant's in it, and oh, Freddy Krueger's in it. So they got to use a lot of different franchises. There's a Speed Racer car. Back to the Future. Yeah, I mean, this is all inevitable. I mean, if they're going to continue the same path that they're on now, if you go back and look at the video games we used to see when we were kids,

when you play Mortal Kombat on a console, it was kind of cool, but compared to this, it's like Pong, right? It's going to happen. It's just going to keep going. It's just a matter of where it's going to leave us. We're not going to be people anymore real soon.

Within a hundred years, we're not going to be people anymore. We're going to be some weird new thing yeah do you think we'll be here i don't think so we'll be dead um but like that thing that's on the bottom of the ocean that they they found that dinosaur thing we're going to be like one of those things like oh jesus like that thing like it's crazy because we know that they used to exist right so if we find one today like wow not that thing's still here that's going to be like people. They find some dude who's living in the mountains outside of Colorado who's like, he's catching his own fish.

He's 116 years old. And they find him. They're like, look at this guy. He's got no electronics in his whole body. Do you think it'd be like Amish people would still last through that, for instance? Or would that be them? We'd kill those people. Eat them. They would have to kill them. The robot people would have to kill them. Amish people, you can't have them around.

They would think, they would say, well, are they like wildlife? They're like wildlife after a certain point. Because if we all started out as some sort of proto-hominid back in the early days of evolution, right? We started as some sort of primitive primate and then eventually evolved to be what we are now. But there's still chimps around. There's still monkeys around. There's still a lot of primitive primates. Like, did they evolve at a later date?

Did they start later than us? Did they get a different call time to the race? Like, what happened? Or did some things stay the same while other things change? And it's just the rate of change seems so spectacularly quick, but it's only because of our perspective. But really, there could be groups of people and might be the Amish that stay exactly the same. And then the new

beings treat them like colobus monkeys in the jungle or like some fucking weird giraffe that you see when you go on a safari. Like, look, look, the people that make their own butter. They're real. They're real. And we'd wave at them. Hello. I love your wagon. I mean, really, they could become wildlife. They could become a very primitive form of wildlife. They could become like uncontacted tribes in the Amazon. Well, we just leave them alone.

We think they're novel. Look, look. They're painted all red, their whole body. They have a bow and arrow that they made themselves. This is amazing. We get all excited about it, but it's the same exact shit. Same exact shit to us. Like, when the new things take over, they just keep the Amish,

they keep tribespeople, they keep the weird shit that's not going to fuck with them. Anything that doesn't know how to work electricity. All those people that are out there living without electricity you know like those alaska the last frontier shows those people would have to all plead for their life you'd be like look i'm just here i'm uh just so i'm just taking care of cattle and i'm not planning on getting any weapons and we like a simple life and we're happy for our robot overlords. Congratulations on your victory and just leave us up here with the river. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Fuck that, right? When I was getting my eyes looked at, the doctor said that how people's eyes are a lot worse nowadays. And remember when you were a kid, your mom was like, don't sit so close to the TV. But now we're putting goggles in our eyes, like one inch from our eye. Why are we doing that? Like why, why does no one talk about eye health? You know, because it seems like if my optician or whatever she's called is telling me about like, oh dude, you should get these blue blocker things now.

Everyone's eyes are so stressed nowadays. I think that's true. I think eyes are definitely stressed, but it's also that we're getting old yeah when you get old your eyes go to shit everybody's always has except like my friend cameron hans he's 50 his fucking eyes are like 2018 or something it's crazy like i had a crack on my iphone i dropped my iphone and i looked at it i'm like i think it's all right he goes no you got a crack i go really he goes where he goes right in the lower right hand corner i'm like I think it's all right. He goes, no, you got a crack.

I go, really? He goes, where? He goes, right in the lower right-hand corner. I'm like, motherfucker. I'm like, how did you even see that? He could see it from my hand, like my hand over here. And he's here. He's like fucking five feet away from me.

He could see it. I got this fucker inches from my face. I can't see it. I mean, it's been three years since I got my eyes checked. And I used to always be perfect. This was the first time where that bottom row, I was like, is that an eight or a zero? Is that an eight or a zero? Those are rough. You get a menu in a restaurant, you're like, okay, I'm going to have to start a fire to see this.

I'm going to have to bust out a lighter like a fucking concert. Or it gets super obnoxious if you use your phone, that light on your phone. Or there's a magnifying app on the phone now where it zooms in a little. You just can't see. It's just dark. My low light sensitivity is way different. I think it's probably because my brain is overwhelmed by brightness too much. Staring at a computer screen.

That's one of the things that I like about that Right Room app. I'm going to sneeze, unfortunately. That Right Room app gives you a dark black screen with green lighting, green writing. I guess that's what these glasses do. They block the blue light. It's kind of like night mode on your Mac or your phone where it turns yellow. Oh, okay. But that's supposedly way better on your eyes.

I'm sure it's better, but we're still fucked. Yeah, we're all fucked. We're going down. It's going down. They're going to replace our eyes with awesome eyes. Yeah, but can't wait. Oh, these drops. Yeah. They have some new eye drops they think they're going to be able to

put in your eye and you never have to wear glasses again. Fuck yeah. What do they do, though? Is it a genetic thing? It's nanoparticles. Jesus fucking Christ. That's how they're going to get in. They're getting in through your eyes. So how's it? Explain how it works. I guess it's just that you probably have to drop them in every couple weeks or every week or maybe even every day.

It's not for sure yet, but it's not even out yet, obviously, either. That's crazy. It's just very new. It works, though. That's crazy. Three-step process. Perform with a smartphone. Oh, the measurement of the eyes refraction.

Wow. And you'll just be able to drop it in there. Apply to the eye for less than one second. A laser. So then doctors create a very specific laser pattern, which is applied to the eye for less than one second. The laser creates tiny grooves in the surface of the cornea. Lastly, special eye drops are applied.

Whoa. That seemed like a good idea. So they get a measurement of your eye refraction which can then be performed with a smartphone. Wow. That can be performed with a smartphone, the first part. And the doctors create the laser pattern and they fucking

stormtrooper your eyeball drop some chemicals on there and the chemicals get in through the holes that you've made in your eyeball. What? Look at that what chicken the right how amazing is that what if that works I mean I think that's gonna happen with that hearing will probably get something for that soon too what if it's one of those artificial hip things like artificial hip is like it does work but I always like I'm always like man I feel

like they're gonna figure out a better way in like five years. Like how long can you hang in there? I feel like they're so close to regenerating tissue. They're regenerating all sorts of cartilage in people and certain people that have had like – I know a woman had bladder cancer. They regenerated an entire bladder for her made out of skin tissue. They did this all with stem cells. And Mel Gibson's dad.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that dude was, his dad was 92, and he was, like, on the door. And got shot up with stem cells, and now he's not even in a wheelchair anymore. That's great. Yeah, the whole story was like, what? Like, his hip was bothering him so bad that he was in a wheelchair. Goes and gets shot up with stem cells. And then all of a sudden he's walking around.

Yeah. Yeah, and this is like without being able to be fully explored in the United States. Like this is, they have to go to Panama to do this. They're really, that guy, Dr. Neil Reardon, is working to try to bring it to Texas. And if anybody would be like we don't give a fuck let's do it it would be texas you know because this is all adult stem cells there's no issues with like fetal stem cells so religious people wouldn't get involved in it and there's a lot of folks that have like some serious fucking injuries this shit could really help

hell yeah even i heard that you could do things for the mouth now, like teeth, regrow, uh, like gums and teeth and using stem cells. You can pretty much do anything now. I believe it. Stem cells. I think this is only one step. I think when, you know,

we're thinking back like 20, 30 years ago, you never heard about this shit. And now you're hearing about it. Like what, how much better is it going to be in 20, 30 years from now? I mean,

how much of it is going to be nanoparticles mixed with stem cells and they just fucking regenerate your whole body you know i think that's what's going to happen i think people are going to be able to not just regenerate limbs but i think they're going to be able to regrow your body like refresh your body like whatever your old bullshit ass cells that you have in your body they're gonna figure out where the memories are actually stored that's gonna be that's gonna be a trip if we find out that memories are not just in your head but also in your body it's like what if we completely redo the body but keep the brain and you don't remember shit if your brain your brain is just a conduit for these memories that are stored in your soul

and you've kind of replaced yourself with some fake zombie body with nanobots and the brain doesn't remember shit are shadows memories that doesn't make any sense they do think that um that people have uh neurons in their heart that they might – that this idea of like following your heart and thinking with your heart, apparently there's more neurons in the heart than there are in the brain. Wow. Is that true? And gut.

And gut. The heart and gut than there are in the brain? Yeah. I always knew my stomach was smarter than my head. It's not brain cells, so don't think that. Well, that's – no, just neurons. But that makes cells, so don't think that. No, just neurons. But that makes sense, right? Trust your gut?

You always heard that? Trust your heart? 40,000 neurons in the heart. Whoa. How many is in the brain? Trust your heart. Trust your gut. Trust your mind, boy.

Your mind is the only thing that controls your perspective. I have a weird feeling about this. Well, that's the thing about eating healthy food. That's a big thing is that you're changing the gut bacteria, which literally changes who you are. You have to think about it that way. Like it changes the person you are. Because the person you are, all those things have to be in order.

Your head has to be in order. You have to have the right amount of certain healthy bacteria in your system. Otherwise, it's not even you anymore. It's just some crazy takeover of candida. According to the article I just found, about 40,000 in the heart, 100 million in the stomach. Wow. 100 billion in your brain.

What? A billion. Oh, well, that's wrong. Whoever said that there's more in the stomach. Wow. 100 billion in your brain. What? Billion. Oh, well, that's wrong. Whoever said that there's more in the heart. That's so wrong. Boy, I'm glad I Googled that one. It says it's in both. It's in the heart and stomach.

There's not more. How did I read that then? How could someone be that off that I read it or it's just my memory's that bad? I'm going to go with my memory, whatever it is. Um, imagine that those memories in that heart remain in the heart and you transfer your heart into somebody else's body. Like that's what happens when people get heart transplants and certain people have said that they have certain weird cravings and they think about things you know that they never thought about before it's like you might be literally interfacing with someone else's memories imagine getting someone else's memories in your body like people that get kidney transplants i just get some memories along with that you're like

what is this a dream this is a dream or do i remember some shit i did when i was five but it wasn't me like think about your memories of being five how fleeting how how like barely visible how like in the darkest darkest darkest corner of what you could possibly describe as a real memory in terms of like being able to describe all those, everything around you. It's like almost nothing there. Almost nothing there. Don't give that to somebody else. Give that to somebody else.

And they have that shit just bouncing around their head. And they're like, am I crazy? Do I really think this? Is this a dream? Or what's up? It's that fucking kidney kidney I believe in that shit somebody else's DNA mixing with yours

well I think it's because of the heart thing because it has neurons yeah I mean they don't know right where memories are stored do they

do they know that for sure the question would be every cell in your body reproduces, right? Every cell in your body changes. And over the course of seven to eight years, you essentially don't have any of the same cells in your body except your neurons. Is that an urban legend or is that 100% real? I think that's 100 real i think your body cells change over yeah i've always heard but the neurons do not you have the same neurons forever apparently

yeah which is um one of the more interesting things about some of those neuroprotectant plants and then um some certain fung is like what is it lion's mane that promotes neuro neurological health yeah there's certain there's certain mushrooms that actually are really good for your brains development it's really fascinating but uh what's up I was just looking around they're all every part of your body it grows at different rates mmm but it over the course of eight years is not said that every eight years, the whole thing's changed over.

It's like you're a new person every eight years. Yeah, but except your neurons. Now, if your neurons are where the memories are stored, that would kind of make sense. But I think my theory, and I'm a fucking, I'm no scientist, but my theory is that memories that you have are really just memories of how

you remember your memories that all of our memories are like these weird whispery stories you know it's like a copy yeah like i i just there's certain things that i've done in my life where i'll look back and i'm like I don't even really think that was me. You know, like the martial arts stuff in particular. I do not think that's me. I think that definitely wasn't me. Or like even when I watch myself on news radio, I'm like, that isn't even me. Like I watch like a YouTube video.

I'm like, that isn't even me. Like that's weird. That this is captured. And for most people, most of their life, right up until like the last hundred or so years, that was never an option. It was never an option to go back and look at yourself from 10 years ago or 20 years ago or 30 years ago. But now it's super commonplace. How much has that affected who people are? Because you become so much more self-aware, right? Remember that bit that I was doing last year about like, I was doing my last Netflix

special about the selfie. Like, like somewhere along the line, people change the way they pose in pictures because you look at the first pictures, people just stood there and looked hungry. I call those pictures from the 1800s. They just look skinny and gaunt and hungry. And if you saw a picture from like 1860 and there was a girl with her butt out and she's doing duck lips, you'd be like, that bitch is a time traveler. There's no way.

There's no way she could have been there. Like there's no way someone at that time knew to pout, make kissy face, and do the peace sign and stick your ass out. Just that's a pose. That's a pose. That's a modern pose. And it came about because of being extremely self-conscious. Because so many people see images of themselves.

I mean, you saw Jumanji, the girl in Jumanji, the really pretty girl who's obsessed with taking photos of herself. That's fucking really shit, man. That's what kids do. By the way, one of the best movies surprisingly best movies i've seen in a long time great fucking movie what a great take on it yes i loved it who was this guy time traveler funny is he uh yeah but that's how they lived back then he's probably drunk he's like what i gotta do shit like this okay yeah that's how they look they look hungry imagine sticking it to the to her or him. Oh, Jesus.

Either one of them. Dude, and that right looks like that one actor that's in all those movies. Imagine being in a small cabin. Go back up, please. Imagine being in a small cabin with that dude just playing that stupid guitar and singing these horrible songs with his rotten shit breath. They didn't even know what the fuck a toothbrush was. Your teeth just fell out of your fucking head like everybody else.

That guy below, the boxer, looks like it's not even like he's trying to be tough. It's like he's doing off defense. I'm just going to lean away, see? I'm not even coming at you. I'm coming at you dick first. That's what they would do. They would come at you dick first. Wow, this thing looks like he knows how to fight at all.

Well, look at the way they would hold their hands up too. They held their hands very differently. But those fights were very different fights because they had real small gloves. You couldn't get hit as much. You couldn't hit each other as much either. Like you couldn't just, like modern boxing where you just flowed with punches and got crazy with punches,

you couldn't do that. You'd break your hands. You had to be much more judicious with where you just flowed with punches and got crazy with punches. You couldn't do that. You'd break your hands. You had to be much more judicious with where you hit people, and they clinched a lot. Those old school boxers, they would grab each other and wrestle each other a lot and punch each other in the clinch. There was a lot more of that than there is now. It's a different world. So I guess they, just because in heaven, like tiny gloves or no gloves,

they just decided they're going to try to lean away from the punches more and just kind of jab at each other with knuckles you can't just wade in like i'm i mean you could if you're mike tyson but they just didn't they didn't know how to do it right back then either like even if you watch you go like if you watch modern boxing like you watch like canelo alvarez versus gennady golovkin, and you see, like, the two of the highest level guys in the game go at each other, it looks so much different than watching, like, old school boxing. Like, old school boxing was like, you had Sugar Ray Robinson, who could have fought and been a world champion today, and then you had a bunch of guys he beat the shit out of,

and then you have a bunch of guys that have, like, one kind of style, and there's, like, inconsistencies in the greatness. Like, some of them look like, like, haggler could have been a world champion today and then other ones you go back like way far back and you go hmm this guy's got like this weird style like i wonder if this style is just derived because of the little gloves and they just didn't know as much about boxing then like watch go watch like an old jim jeffries fight and then imagine what lennox lewis would do to him you know like there's there's levels that guys got to where they're just in and they were on another level

like clearly who's that referee that boxing referee that it's been like in a video lately on Twitter that is like the funniest I don't remember his name but I know what you're talking about like loves his job yeah in the background like smiling yeah it's hilarious. I forget his name. It's a great video, though. His expressions are fucking hilarious. Dudes get popped and he goes, oh.

Do boxing referees ever go to the UFC? Or this guy. Steve Willis. Steve Willis. It's so funny. I don't know why it's not playing. I usually just reload and shit like that. It's not – the whole video is just still video.

Oh, it's a still video. Someone must be talking over it. Oh, that's probably what it is. Anyway. Oh, there he is. He's a hilarious guy. He gets very excited. Yeah.

But he's a good referee. He's great. Not just enthusiastic. I mean, that's a good thing to do to give a guy a real clear eight count. Oh, dude. He's got the best expressions. Oh, shit. Terrence Crawford.

Terrence Crawford beats your ass and then talks shit after you get stopped. You know who Terrence Crawford is? He's one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world, Brian. You better learn. You better go get yourself learned. What is that? Oh. Floyd Mayweather

applying for MMA license wants six to eight months to train. He's screwed. You can make a bet on it if you want. This is a, in my opinion, this is a 40% proposition. Which means it's 40% likely that he might actually do this.

The reason why he might do this is because I think they will give him an ungodly sum of money. I mean an ungodly sum. And I think they should. I think that if the UFC can talk Floyd Mayweather into going into an MMA ring, first of all, they should give him everything they can get their greasy paws on

to get him to fight Conor in an MMA fight. Just say, look, we can give you CM Punk. We'll give you CM Punk for half a bill, half a billion. This is a lot of money, but you can go through that in five years. Instead, how about we give you conor mcgregor for a full billy and we'll give you six to eight months to practice jiu-jitsu six six to eight months to just figure out how you're gonna get fucked up you'd be screwed he wouldn't just be screwed that's like that's unfair to like for people that have been screwed. You would need a way more outrageous example.

It's not just getting screwed. Someone said it should be 1,000 to 1. That's not high enough. It's not high enough. If Conor McGregor was going to fight Floyd Mayweather in MMA, It's not high enough. If Conor McGregor was going to fight Floyd Mayweather in MMA, it is as close to 100% as anything ever gets ever.

Because if you think Floyd is all of a sudden going to become this fucking one-punch destroyer, like John the Beast Mugabe in the 1980s or whatever the fuck that was, if you think that's going to happen out of nowhere, you're crazy. That's not what's going to happen. What's going to happen is he's probably going to punch Conor in the face a couple of times. It's probably going to suck, but Conor's going to get a hold of him. And then he's going to be like a baby. And if that doesn't happen, he'll kick Floyd's legs out from under him. He'll kick his legs sideways.

He'll kick them from the outside. He'll kick them from the inside. He'll kick his legs sideways. He'll kick them from the outside. I'll kick him from the inside. He'll stay way the fuck away From any sort of a range where Floyd can punch him It'll be a completely alien range for Floyd and every time Floyd goes in front kick to the stomach boom front kick to the stomach Boom front kick to the stomach. How many of those can you take? Okay, boom inside leg kick boom outside leg kick He's laughing at you now now. He's talking shit and you realize you've got to get past those legs. You try to close the distance. Boom, spinning back kick to the liver.

Fuck. What are you going to do now? What are you going to do now? You're going to be picked apart until he decides to take you to the ground and cut your face open with elbows. How about that? How about he pins your right arm down with his left shin, gets on top of you, and just starts smashing the edge of the elbow into your eye sockets, into your nose,

cuts across your forehead, slices you open like a fucking melon. You don't have a chance. No one has a chance that hasn't had a long history of grappling and getting kicked. It's like a regular boxer is, like, especially the best ever, like Floyd, is phenomenal at what he does. But if you put takedowns and kicks into that, it changes everything. Changes everything. He'd be fucked.

I wonder if he's done any training at all. Well, I know that he's talked to Tyron Woodley. And Tyron Woodley was apparently willing to help him prepare. That would be very interesting because Woodley's had some issues with Conor. I don't think he's going to fight Conor, though. I think if he does choose to fight MMA, I really believe the move is, the correct move is, he fights someone like CM Punk.

Because with CM, you've got a guy who's been training in MMA for a long time now. It's been a few years. Not a long time, but a few years now. He had one MMA fight in the UFC, but was very overmatched. It really wasn't fair, like, for him. Didn't make any, that kid, I mean, it's just the difference between the two of them,

you know, Mickey Gall is a real professional elite fighter. I mean, he can beat really good guys and He's just not in that world like CM Punk's a 40 year old guy who is a professional entertainer Who is basically a beginner right, but he knows enough where you would we would bet money on him He knows enough for you're like, imagine if CM Punk, who is a big guy, he cuts down to 170, and compared to Floyd. Floyd's fought at, I think he fought at,

started his career, I want to say 130, 135. Go to Floyd Mayweather's beginning fights. But at the very least, he's definitely fought at 145. As a grown man, he's fought at 155. CM Punk's way bigger. He's just a way bigger guy. So if he could figure out a way to get the fight to the ground and lock in something simple, like a guillotine,

if he has a good guillotine, that's what I would say. If I was going to work with a guy like that, I would say we're going to concentrate on one fucking choke and we're going to get that thing down to like laser beam, perfect precision. So if you just spent all your time doing like one Marcelo Garcia style choke, just figured out one good choke, one where you know that if you get that chin down, you tuck it in and slap it on, one choke, whatever it is, that you know how to close that fucker up 90% of the time

on people that know how to defend. There's a lot of guys that have that. Maybe they have a triangle or maybe they have a head and arm choke is a good one. That's a good one to master. Some guys just finish most people with that one choke. If he just had that and just got Floyd to the ground and just got his neck, it's super possible that he could win super, super possible that he could win. Like, it's possible that he could win.

But it's also possible that Floyd can win. That's what makes that interesting. Because Floyd is still one of the best boxers of all time, if not the best. Still a fucking elite athlete. Still light speed in there. Like, with his footwork and his movement, his head movement. He's so fast. He's going to be way faster than CM Punk. So if CM Punk can't get a hold of him, and every time he moves in he gets his face lit up.

With a dude who's fast as fuck with 6 ounce gloves. Now he's got 4 ounce gloves on. Very little padding. And he's catching you right on the chin. And you can't do shit about it. You're trying to close the distance and he's stutter stepping and moving in front of you. And CM Punk is not, like, the best kicker in the world. I'll buy it. I'll buy it. But he'll have to fight Mayweather if he comes to MMA.

That would just have to be... You mean you'd have to fight... Connor. Connor. No. No, you wouldn't. You don't think so? No.

He'd get killed. He would literally get killed I know but He would get smashed If he ends up doing MMA You know everyone wants to see that That's what everyone wants to see For sure

He'd get a Ronda in him Fight That would be a good fight Yeah I don't think he's gonna do it I don't think he's gonna fight McGregor ever in MMA But I think he might fight CM Punk.

I believe that. I believe that could happen. I know that's not even like official talk, but I really believe that can happen. It sounds crazy, I know, but the whole thing sounds crazy. It sounds crazy to think that he could fight anybody in MMA, that he would be willing to do it. He must know something because he could just go into it. He must know something.

Because he could just go into boxing. He must know that his time as a boxer is just done. But who cares? You have enough money to do what you want to do. Dude, you don't understand. You don't ball that way. You don't ball like he balls. He's balling on a level that neither of us could ever understand.

You know how much money you have to spend to fly everywhere in private jets and have limos everywhere you go and have five Bentleys and six Ferraris and all the shit that guy has how much money it takes to maintain that lifestyle and then he's got a strip club and he's got a giant mansion he's got a bunch of people working for him all the time and he spends on everything that dude buys half million dollar watches he's just always buying shit he buys the most ridiculous shit and puts it on his instagram and gambles like crazy crazy gambling like bet a million dollars on a fucking basketball game yo did he win i don't know i don't pay attention dude i got shit to do

look at that the money team time piece oh. Look at that. The Money Team timepiece. Oh, shit. Look at that. TMT Hublot timepieces will only appreciate in value. Go to your nearest Hublot boutique and shop right now for my limited edition Hublot. Hashtag Hublot. Hashtag TMT, the Money

Team. Go back to that again, please. Look at that fucking watch, man. Look at the diamonds in that bitch. Ooh! If you want to let bitches know that you got some real shitty taste in jewelry and a lot of disposable income, look at that thing. That's pretty, actually. That's better than the other one. But the whole TMT thing, who the fuck's buying that? Who's going to buy another man's braggadocious logo on a watch?

Not on a watch, but when you go to sporting events, I surprisingly see it a lot. Wear it as a t-shirt maybe. I get that. Big fan of what the guy's done. You see the selfie he posted? It's a nice romantic. It's beautiful.

Yeah. Handsome man. What kind of hashtag is that on there? Early morning selfie. Early morning selfie. All right. Thank you. Glad you did.

Hey, look, man. He's a silly fella, but he's also the greatest boxer of all time he's also unbelievably physically talented isolation or uh sensory uh cryo yeah yeah he's gotta he's gotta learn about the one when your whole head goes under yeah is that better though way better yeah it's way better okay seen enough money team jewelry but he's got millions of dollars in just jewelry so it's very interesting man it's very interesting because what he is is like uh he's the most like braggy showy like a rich rich type guy and because of that people

go to see him fight hoping he's gonna lose and he always wins it's a genius way to make yourself exciting because he has a really smart boxing style. His style is extremely defensive. He's one of the best defensive boxers, if not the best of all time. It's very hard to hit. So when he's boxing and he's hardly ever getting hit and winning decisions, there's got to be a way to get people to keep coming to these fights.

This is the way. Have everybody rooting against you. Show everybody, like, rooting against you. Show everybody, look at all this money. You ain't got shit. Look at all my money. Look at this car. Look at this house. Woo!

It's kind of funny. Brian Redband, Peter's out at about an hour and... What? Two hours and 40 minutes in. That's about all you got. No. It's everybody. Everybody gets tired except Kurt Metzger.

We had Kurt Metzger on yesterday. He had 150 Red Bulls. He had 16 different Caveman coffee nitros. How many did he have while we were here? He had at least two. I think he walked in drinking one. I think he had two more early. One and a half at least.

He had three total, and poor Owen Benjamin got talked over. So go to hugepianist.com and check out Owen's new special that he released. He shot it, filmed it himself, and released it on his website, which is Huge Pianist because he's huge. I always forget how big he is. When he came in here, he gave me a hug yesterday. I was like a little kid. I'm dick height on him.

He's 6'7". He's 6'7". He's almost a foot taller than me. That's crazy. He's 6'7". Yeah. He's 6'7". He's almost a foot taller than me. That's crazy. He's a giant human. And a big barreled fucking... And then I think he's gotten bigger since he's moved to the woods. Oh, yeah.

Because he's been in upstate New York. I feel like he's grown. It just seems like he's fitting into the environment. You know, there's a thing that animals do in the colder parts of their reach or where they roam. They get larger. So, like, if an animal in their range, that's the word I was looking for. Like, if an animal has a winter range or an animal has, like, say, like, white-tailed deer. Like, a white-tailed deer in Florida is a real tiny thing.

They're only 100 pounds. If you go to a white-tailed deer in Saskatchewan, they're like 300 pounds. They're huge. They're giant-ass fucking deer. And that's like as big as a white-tailed deer gets. They look massive. They're just a different animal. It's because when the colder climates, they have to have more body mass to stay warm.

That's why polar bears are the biggest fucking bears. Polar bears and then Kodiak grizzlies, I think, are also pretty close. But the Kodiak brown bears, it's just because there's salmon everywhere. They're just feasting these fucking monsters. Do your feet grow the older you got? I've gone up

from 10 to now I'm almost 12. Maybe it's those dick pills. I don't do that anymore. I do generic Viagra 12. Your dick's getting bigger too. Maybe it's those dick pills. Yeah. I don't do that anymore. I do generic Viagra. That's a good move too. I think that when you're carrying around a lot of weight, you know, you think about what

you weigh and how many times your feet are walking around. I would imagine. But you didn't, yours didn't. Yeah, mine did a half size. A half size. I used to be a 10 and a half and then somewhere around 30-ish, my shit was like getting cramped in a 10 and a half. Then I moved to an 11. Yeah.

Although I have found recently that 10 and a half fits better for me in those five finger shoes for whatever reason. I think I had one. I think one of them might just get stretched out a little bit. They just get. I beat the fuck out of those things. I'm taking those things on these serious hills, and they get stretched out. You're working out now. What are you doing? 30 to 40 minutes of cardio, and then about 20 minutes of weights.

But I just did this new step cardio thing by mistake the other day, and it killed me. I think the ones where you're kind of climbing up stairs while doing the elliptical move yeah yeah i've seen that one and you're not that that i did it for like 35 minutes which is normal but man i it broke me like i'm in so much pain right now yeah your muscles get sore but that's good that means you're doing something that's difficult yeah you know what were you just saying i wonder how Bert's doing today. Bert's dead. Walking around. Yeah, he's hurting. He was saying that he's super sore. Well, I mean, he's, yeah.

He's a silly boy. But, hey. That was great that he did that. It's good that he did it. And he really didn't, I mean, he didn't, like, specifically prepare for it where he's doing, like, half marathons all the time. He just got over being sick for two weeks. Just went to a cryo place, looks like, for some help. He's out of control.

Oh, so he went to cryo healthcare then? Yeah, just now, like probably 20 minutes ago. Oh, okay. Which one? That looks like, I don't know which one that is. There's a few of those places now. Do you think that is a fad, or do you think this is going to, you know? What, burn?

No, cry. Cry. No, cry. No, cry. No, there's real benefits. It feels good. It feels really good when you get out. Like your body feels good. And it's because of your brain produces really strong chemicals

when you're in there because it's, you know, it's going, holy shit, we're dying. It produces cold shock proteins, what they call them. And it also produces norepinephrine, which is like a version of adrenaline. Or it's a cousin of adrenaline. Isn't that how they described it? Yeah, epinephrine is adrenaline.

Joey Diaz just did it the other day. He's like, this is about the kind of air conditioning I want in my house. We would go into his hotel room when we would go on the road with Joey and we'd open up the door and be like, Jesus Christ, fucking penguins are waddling around inside of his room. 50 degrees.

He would, whatever that, when there was a slider, and you can get over to the blue, that shit would be pegged. Like the coldest it could possibly get. That thing never shut off. Remember those in-room ones that would kick on? They're real loud. You're like, no. Bad ones spray on you no the worst is when they go on and off intermittently in the night and just wake you up in the middle of the night when we were at the Detroit Fillmore they were talking about how men

used to come in there during you know like whatever the fuck year it was when they invented this where they built this amazing theater in Detroit. But it was one of the first places in town that got air conditioning. So people would buy a ticket just to come in and sleep because it was so hot in the summertime. And then they'd go there and they'd be like, oh. People would just sit there. Snore. That's how I like my gym is 24-hour fitness.

You've got fucking homeless people will live in there oh yeah showers there that's what people do right if they want to live out of their car they just get a 24-hour fitness membership yeah so i i like going late at night like sometimes we'll go like at one in the morning and then you just like why is there so many people here oh all these people are homeless that's so weird right nowhere to sleep yeah yeah where do you sleep if you're homeless? Car. Cars? Yeah. If you have a car, but that's not let's see, I think there's homeless and

I've got a car homeless. Right. That's like, damn, that guy's a pimp. That's next level. There's a great video that's out right now about this guy who's an ultra marathon runner. He's 76 years old. See if you can find it. I found it on Dig. It's called The Most Elusive Man in North America. And this dude has a school bus that he lives in. He parked this school bus

in the woods and he just runs every day. And they're all like looking for this guy. I want to say he's like 78 years old. Does it say? No, that article probably did. Yeah, 76. years old does it say 76 years old he's 76 years old and he runs ultra marathons and this guy lives in the forest you got to go way till they find him these they had to go and seek this guy out and do these interviews with him there he is right there and so all he does is drink beer and run. Jesus. And eat food. And I think he lives by himself.

And he lives in this tiny little thing. But what's fascinating is when you talk to him, when you sit and listen to the guy talk, you go, oh, well, this is a very intelligent man. And he just finds what he likes. What he likes to do is create trails. So he makes his own trails in the woods. Finds what he likes what he likes to do is create trails so he makes his own trails in the woods he knocks over sticks and moves stuff aside and creates a path so that he could use it over and over again and

And just runs all the time. He's just constantly pushing himself, but he's talking about Challenging himself and the things that he does and why he does me He doesn't need anything more than this bus to live in. He's not... See, the thing is, you would see someone like that and you'd dismiss them. And you'd go, well, that guy's a fool. But he's not a fool. And you listen to him talk and you go, okay, so this is his philosophy behind

this. He's got... He's really thought this out to the point where he's become very comfortable just living in this bus in the middle of the forest. And he looks good for a guy who's 76 who runs hundreds of miles. I mean, he looks. Sexy Santa. Yeah.

He doesn't look like, you know, he's going to enter any bodybuilding competitions, but he looks like a guy who's got vitality. You know, he's got energy. He's got muscles. Gross. Creepy old dude. He's got a lot of Iggy Pop going on with that skin. Oh, mad sun damage.

Dude, this guy never even heard of sunscreen. He's just running out there with no shirt on. He's out here with no shirt on, just running. He looks malnourished. Well, he's definitely not eating a lot. I mean, where's he getting his food? I mean, I don't know where he's getting money from. I don't know how he does this.

I'm not really sure what he does for funds or if he tries to live off the land. And what land lets you just park a bus in there and just hang out and live? That's a good question. I mean, there might be places where you have permanent parking. He's got a watch. That's not a cheap watch. Yeah, how does he plan that watch? No.

How much does that watch cost? That's one of those GPS watches. That's like $ cheap watch. Yeah, how does he plan that watch? No, how much does that watch cost? That's one of those GPS watches. That's like five, six hundred bucks. Oh, really? Yeah. So it's like one of them Garmin's?

Yeah, that's what it looked like. So he creates these paths that he runs. So he runs, he'll break a path down, like create a trail, and then run it over

and over and over again. Which is kind of interesting, right? Because he's like following his own footprints. He's got Oakley's on, but he doesn't have suntan. Sun lotion. Right. He doesn't give a fuck about skin cancer.

He tells skin cancer to suck his dick. Look at him. He's like, you can't make leather cancer. Is he in Canada? That's why he had all those flags? Did he have British Columbia? Yeah. Somewhere in the mountains of Vernon, British Columbia,

lives a 76-year-old man by the name of Dag Abbey. How do you say that? Abbey? Dag Abbey. He has no cell phone or email address, revered by locals for having escaped from the shackles of modern society. He's the champion of the 80-mile ultramarathon, aptly named the death race

Abby is the oldest person to have ever finished the race Very fascinating men But these here's the thing the guy seems content How many 76 year olds do you run into that are depressed? That don't seem content that don't seem to have any vitality I mean we have to accept what life is going to give all of us and it's a fucking an end where your body's failing and you and I are starting to see that now with our shit vision you know I see it now with my my ability to recover from injuries like special especially this tendonitis I've had this tendonitis in my

elbow it's really shocking because i never had like real tendonitis before i didn't know how long it takes i figured out it's like a pulled muscle give it a couple months it'd be all right no no a couple months later i still feel that fucking thing i've done a lot of shit to it too stem cells prp regenokine it's getting better but shit is not quick to heal, it takes forever and you gotta be real delicate with it I have that with my hands also if I get out of shape now I get out of shape, it takes way longer to get back

into shape, it takes like double the time like um when I did that hot yoga challenge I hardly ever ran, I didn't do any and I lost like a big step, It took me a solid two weeks to get back to where I was

before doing yoga. We're going. It's going down, just like that old man living in the forest. But he's got it right. He knows it's going down. He's leaving behind nothing. Jeremiah Watkins just lost all the weight he gained during that weight it

took him three months to lose it we should make tony get fat we should force feed him we should impossible that dude just can't get fat he's one of those guys i mean i think his whole life he's been had that problem where he can eat as much as he want he will never get fat that's not true he will definitely get fat especially if he eats sugar, but Tony eats pretty healthy. He doesn't eat a lot of sugar. He doesn't fuck around with anything stupid. You know, he'll occasionally put like sugar in his coffee

or something like that, but he's got a pretty good diet. You know, I just think that he just, you know, that contest was bullshit. It was bullshit. It was bullshit.

He wasn't really trying to gain weight. He was like trying to let Jeremiah win. Look at that. How it was before and now after. He lost it all. It was bullshit. It was bullshit. He wasn't really trying to gain weight. He was, like, trying to let Jeremiah win. Look at that. How it was before and now after. He lost it all. Good for him. It's not easy to lose weight. Brian will tell you.

Yeah. You lost 70 at one point? Yeah. Well, now, you know, I'm so happy with the relationship. Me and my girlfriend cook so nice. It's more me just going, hey, wait, there's a new quarter pounder. Yeah. I know. It's hard. That new quarter pounder, though know it's hard that new quarter pounder though whoa is it that good yeah they're using so good about it

they're doing what wendy's has always done they're using real meat you know just go to frozen yeah but it's a heavy burger like i was like whoa this is not like a bitch-ass quarter pounder anymore this is feels different yeah it feels heavier that's like probably got more moisture yeah well you know those places like in and out five guys they're always gonna be a step ahead but you can't just pull in and grab one thing about wendy's is you pull in and grab one like it's like it takes two minutes and all of a sudden you got a cheeseburger good though it's shake shack have you got a shake shack yet yeah's good, though. Shake Shack? Have you gone to Shake Shack yet? Yeah, I've been to Shake Shack. It's okay.

Pretty good. Shut the fuck up. There's no way it compares. To? To, like, In-N-Out? Yeah, it does. Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah.

I don't like In-N-Out. Well, he's a Whataburger guy. He thinks Whataburger. It's better, but definitely the same level. Shake Shack is the place that has the chili with the spaghetti? No. That's what? Steak and Shake.

Yeah. Skyline. Okay. You go Ohio to say that. I fucked up. I fucked up. Pardon me, Shake Shack. I wasn't even thinking about you.

Steak and Shake. I'm thinking of Steak and Shake, which also has cheeseburgers. Right, right, right. I thought you were saying those. Yeah, but those are those little thin patties that are like. Right. I thought you were saying those are as good. Okay.

My bad. I fucked up. Yeah, Shake Shack I like way better than In-N-Out. I'm not were saying those are as good. Okay, my bad. I fucked up. Yeah, Shake Shack, I like way better than In-N-Out. I'm not a fan of In-N-Out. I'm a Five Guys fan. I love Five Guys. If I'm going to go off the rails

and cheat, I'm going to get a double cheeseburger with bacon and jalapenos. Woo! That's how they call it, too. Their burger is a double burger by default,

which is awesome. Yeah, by default. If you want a single, you've got to order it. Not a fan of the fries, though. Their burger is a double burger by default, which is awesome. Yeah, by default. If you want a single, you've got to order it. Not if you know the fries, though. I mean, a lot of people love their fries. Oh, I love their fries. Boring-ass fries. Bullshit.

You've got to get them spicy Cajun ones. Yeah, I got that. You can't handle them. I eat, like, two of them, and I'm like, that's good. It's just too—it's like rally fries. It's just I don't like too much seasoning. Taco Bell has fries now. Those are actually supposed to be pretty good.

That's not food. That might as well be a stationary store to me. When I pass by, I'm like, I'm not eating anything in there. McDonald's fries all day, though. I'm not a McDonald's fries fan. I'm an In-N-Out guys fries fan. I'm Habit Burger McDonald's fries. I think that

in my world, it's five guys in In-N-Out are basically neck and neck. I bet if I didn't live around so many In-N-Outs, I would prefer In-N-Out more than I do. But I'm only around a couple of five guys, so five guys has some novelty. That's true. But five guys also has jalapenos. There's a lot of good I like about five guys. With their fries, I like better.

You don't like Wendy's as much as In-N-Out? No. No chance. not as good if I were to take 10 burgers here and blindfold you I wouldn't choose you you know I would know what's the difference you'd be able to if you just got it from a regular store you remember I used to do a joke about um actors being a lot like cheeseburgers because they never look like their pictures right especially actresses um but you never get a cheeseburger from wendy's that doesn't look like it's been stuffed into one of those fucking foil things and pressed down that's why

you say pickles on the side so it makes fresh every time oh you're tricky pickles on the side tricky boy yeah you sure they don't open that bitch up and just take some pickles out they're so fast at wendy's. That's a hack. That's a hack. The pickles on the side hack by Red Band. They're fast because they're never frozen, Jamie. They're good. I think they're good.

I mean, I like Wendy's. Don't get me wrong. But I just don't think they can ever fuck with. Really? It just doesn't taste as good as like Five Guys. They don't really cook it right when you ask. Like when you ask for it at Five Guys, they go, what do you want? you want okay and you see the guy take the patties put it on the grill and start cooking it that's just a different experience yeah yeah i mean burgers are burger for the most part

but i just don't get the in and out shit at all you know what the best is that nobody nobody respects anymore fudruckers oh i used to go to Fuddruckers and get ostrich burgers. Holy shit. I went to Fuddruckers last week, man. It's still good. They have the nacho cheese, too. Yeah, they squirt that cheese down. Why does Fuddruckers not get more love? I don't think there's that many of them around anymore.

They need to expand. Eddie Bravo and I used to go to 24 Hour Fitness in where the fuck is that one? Not studio. On the way to Encino in that area. What is that? What is that called? Sherman Oaks.

In the Sherman Oaks Galleria. That's where it is. We'd go to eat there. We'd lift weights, and then we'd go and eat at Fuddruckers and get ostrich burgers. Dude, they're phenomenal. And ostriches, you do not feel bad for ostriches. I had an ostrich peck me in the fucking head once. They're ruthless little cunts.

What's ostrich taste like? I don't think I've ever had an ostrich. Delicious. It's a red meat, which is weird. Ostrich is a red meat. It looks like buffalo or something. It's a dark red meat. It's really good.

It's supposed to be really high in nutrients, too. And ostrich eggs as well. Ostrich eggs are like this fucking big, too. They're huge. We made people eat them on Fear Factor. They had to eat a whole egg. They had to drink a whole raw egg. Probably terrible for you, right?

Yeah. Let's wrap this up. Young Red Band. Next Tuesday, I'll be on Brian's show that's at the Improv in Hollywood. It's at 8 o'clock 8 o'clock on Tuesday night then I'll be at Sam Tripoli's show

at the store right afterwards I'm fucking crazy I'm doubling up damn and when's your next shows do you have

you doing the Ice House on Friday doing the Ice House Friday but also me and Tony are going on the road with Kill Tony we're going to be in

Phoenix next week April 5th. And then Nashville Comedy Festival, 420. Oh, shit. And a lot of dates on the road, though. I'll be in the Ice House as well, right next door. So we'll be both working together. Oh, Friday?

Yes. Oh, cool. Friday and Saturday. I'm there this weekend. Nice. All right, you fucks. So DeathSquad.TV for hats, T-shirts, all your stuff. Tour dates, everything.

Tour dates, everything. All right, folks. We'll be back tomorrow with MMA pioneer Pat Melitich. Very excited. Very excited to talk to Pat. That should be fun. And then Vinny Shorman and Liam Harrison are going to come on Thursday. The Mosaic guy.

What's that? Oh, the Mosaic guy. You gave him a shout out already on Instagram. But what is, we got this dope Mosaic. What is his name? It is ted already on Instagram. Oh. But what is, we got this dope mosaic. What is his name? It is tedmonthsmosaic.com. Yeah, M-U-N-T-Z? Yeah.

Or M-U-N-Z. T-E-D-M-U-N-Z. M-U-N-Z. Yeah. M-U-N-Z. Amazing work. It's on my Instagram. Dude made an awesome mural, like a mosaic mural of the logo.

All right. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.