The Joe Rogan Experience - #1113 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: May 8, 2018

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network available on Spotify under "Deathsquad."

Five, four, three, two, one. Hey, fella. Hey! What's going on? Not much. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm great. Wonderful.

We're a little fucking high right now, but we're gonna get through this. I'm so bummed. I was thinking about going to Hawaii the other day, and then this volcano happened. I'm like, of all the times... Dude, I was there. Oh, you were there when it happened? I was in Lanai. I was on one of the other islands. Dude, I was there. Oh, you were there when it happened? I was in Lanai. I was on one of the other islands. Did you feel the earthquake?

No, I didn't feel it. It's, you know, it's separated by quite a lot. There's a lot of water in the way. The big earthquake happened actually after the plane took off. So we were in the air when the big one hit. Yeah, which it's apparently a big one, like a 5'9". I think it was even more than that. Was it?

Six? Oh, right. Yeah, which it's apparently a big one, like a 5'9". I think it was even more than that. Was it? 6'5". 6? Oh, right. They had a big one, and then they had a fucking really big one. Wow. 5'9 is big. I think the way it works, I'm sure someone will correct me here. I think the way it works is a 5'6 is like really powerful, but a 5'7 is twice as powerful. Then a 5'8 is twice as powerful as that.

So when you get up to 7, like that's some world-changing shit. It's actually 6.9. Oh my God. That's insane. Oh my God. Can you imagine being on the... Oh my God, it was that powerful?

That's so big. That's such a big earthquake, man. Did you see the... I put it up. It's so funny, dude. You put up anything that's from CNN and people, why don't you put it up for a verifiable source, not CNN, CNN's bullshit. It's a video, you fucking asshole.

It's a video of lava eating a car. Yeah, must have. What do you think, CNN faked it? I'd like to seek inclusive evidence that CNN's not full of shit and then I'll go to their website. Stupid. Dude, people are so goofy. They're so goofy with this fake news shit. It's lava.

It ate a car. It happened. Did you see the video? Yeah. It ate the white car? Yeah. Pull that shit up. I think it's cool that that car's forever gonna be in rocks. Like when we all die in the future, people can find this car. Oh, it's broken down to the bare elements at this point.

I'm assuming it just got completely melted. I wonder. They say that stuff is 2,000 degrees. And it's so hot. But it's molten rock. So if it didn't burn through your feet, or if you weren't flammable at all for some strange reason, you could actually walk on it.

Yeah. I'm like, what? Like I thought you would just sink in it, but no. And apparently it's cooling like right after it gets out of the surface. This is so crazy. This is like a monster. So we're watching this lava flow on Hawaii's Big Island. I like how Jamie went with CBS News.

Fuck CNN, bro. Fuck that fake news. Actually, Brandon Clement got the video. Oh, powerful Brandon Clement. But this guy, whoever he is, is a bad motherfucker because look what he was next to. He was filming this. I mean, he was near this thing.

Oh my god, like, imagine being on that street and staying. What kind of a crazy fuck you have to be to be on that street and stay? And then a 6.9 hits during all this? That's so big. That's such a crazy earthquake. But they live on a volcano. I mean, it's one of the reasons why a lot of people don't want to live on the Big Island.

So shit like this. Yeah, that splatter one's crazy. There's a fissure in this neighborhood. reasons why a lot of people don't want to live on the big island so shit like this yeah that splatter one's crazy there's a fissure in um this neighborhood there's a subdivision out there something estates i forget what it is but their fucking neighborhood dude the the ground opened up in their neighborhood i mean if you lived you know thousands of years ago this would be an angry god coming to attack your village could you imagine if normal days you're in Hawaii, you're in one of the most beautiful places on the planet. You're just chilling and the sun is perfect. And you see in the ocean, you're hearing the seagulls and you see dolphins and shit. And then the ground opens up and hell

starts pouring out, Eats your house. Eats your Mustang. Fuck. And they were talking about it today on the news. They're like, there's nothing we can do. There's nothing. They're like, you can't pour water out? Nope.

Can't do shit. You're not going to stop it. It's too big. They apparently stopped it from doing something in like Iceland. And they had to use billions and billions of gallons of water to halt the progress of the lava. I forget what it was. Is that when that big plume was in the air and you couldn't fly anywhere? I believe so.

And that is also that plume being in the air, which restricted flying, is all tied into the death of that journalist, Michael Hastings. Do you know that crazy conspiracy theory? It's one of the weirder ones, man. It's one of the weirder ones. This guy, Michael Hastings, was this sort of renegade journalist type character. And he went to Iraq or Afghanistan? I want to say Iraq, but it might have been Afghanistan. He went there with the troops and he got stuck there because of that volcano. So because he was stuck there, everybody got comfortable with him being around. They started saying crazy shit.

They started joking around about Obama, stuff like that. And he put all this in the article. And when he put all this in the article, the general had to resign. And he was like one of the most popular and most powerful generals in the army. Then, shortly thereafter, homeboy decided to go 120 miles an hour down sunset and slam into a tree and his car exploded. And everybody's like, it's a fucking murder. It's assassination. is like, it's a fucking murder.

It's assassination. And then there was all these tech guys that were coming out and they were saying, listen, you absolutely can hack a car and change the direction. Change what the car does. Take control of the car. You absolutely can do that. And they were like, absolutely.

He was like, absolutely. He was like, absolutely. 100% you can do it. We know these videos of people falling asleep and they're Teslas, right? The car just drives you there. You get on the highway, it just drives you. We know that's real.

It turns. It'll turn. It'll make turns for you. It'll park. They have cars that park. You don't think that they can, that they figured out a long time ago, hey, wouldn't it be cool if we could just tap into that and make this motherfucker drive into a tree? If they didn't, they would be

so incompetent that I don't want to hear any conspiracy theories ever again. Because if the government didn't look at that stuff, if the government, like the assassins, didn't look at that and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second. So you're telling me if the head of ISIS is in a car and it's a Mercedes, we can hack into that car and make

that motherfucker drive off a cliff? We can do that? Okay. Well, let's do that. Fucking 100%. Those people all day are trying to figure out a way to kill bad guys. You don't think they would think that? Of course they would.

So that's the scary thought. But then the other possibility is homeboy was losing his mind because of the pressure, which is entirely possible. You always have to look at everything. You got to look at all sides. You really do. It's so easy to just pick a side on any story or a conspiracy theory or anything, even a political opinion. It's so easy to just dig your heels in.

But on this one, you got to look at this guy. They definitely found amphetamines in his system, they said. And that's not uncommon for writers. Writers love Adderall. They fucking love it. Apparently, I have a friend who's a journalist, says everybody who's a journalist is on Adderall. Obviously, he's exaggerating. The one guy's out there like, not me, you fuck.

Not fucking me. But who was it that was a doctor? Oh, my friend Dr. Roddy McKee, the stem cell doctor from Vegas. He was telling me about people that were taking Adderall when he was in college. And he was like, holy shit, is my breath smell? No, no. What are you doing, bro? He throws me these Listerine breast strips.

Okay, dude, I'll fucking take one. He actually flipped it. Okay, dude, I'll fucking take one. Apparently flipped it. Christ, dude. But he was saying that when he was in college, there was like a marked change in everybody's performance once they started doing the Adderall. I believe it. Jamie gave it to me.

He gave me a little tiny piece, allegedly. Maybe not. Maybe I just made that up, officer. I don't know what that was. I don't know what the fuck that was. I didn't take it either way. I'm scared of it. I'm scared I'm going to take it and go, yes, this know what that was. I don't know what the fuck that was. I didn't take it either way. I'm scared of it I'm scared. I'm gonna take it and go. Yes. This is what I need

Right like the same same reason I'll be scared of coke. I've never fucked with coke. I like coffee too much I like it. I drink it, but I'm not even tired I'll just look for a cup of coffee like come on have a cup of coffee be nice right now I feel like a crack at like cracky when I'm on Adderall like it's like Like the whole time. Does it make you talk too much? Uh, I have only done it like three times, but I remember I tried to do it and go on stage and it was awful. I felt like I was on, like my timing was all like jitter, jitter, jitter, jitter, jitter.

Well, you got to take into account, like there's the way you feel before you go on stage and then there's the way you feel on stage. The adrenaline, you have to take into account that that adrenaline is going to be there. It's going to mix in. Yeah. I did modafinil once. I did modafinil on stage, and it was a weird little balancing act. That's that ProVigil stuff?

Right. It was weird. It was like, ooh, this is weird. You know, you're better off sober. But the thing about those pills, apparently, is you get used to it and then you get used to that juice you know you're used to just fucking having the energy to get shit done come on brian let's start a fucking business come on brian let's organize we've got to make a non-profit that carries the same name as the everybody gets super super fired up but you can

get a lot of shit done that way so So that's the thing with journalists, apparently, according to my friend. He's like, dude, everybody's on it. They're all on it, and they write like maniacs. They just fucking pound the keys. But it makes sense. And that Take Your Pills documentary on Netflix, that's what they talk about, too. I need to see that. 80% of kids in high school, college, taking it just to get through, just to do it.

Well, I think it's a performance-enhancing drug drug so here's the question is it worse than drinking i bet it isn't and we don't have any problem with all those kids drinking the question is are they going to get addicted to it more easily than they would get addicted to drinking because you don't have this i mean i don't know but i'm assuming you don't have nearly the same kind of hangover, right? How does it affect your liver in comparison to, like, alcohol? Because I think Adderall and that kind of shit might be worse in that aspect. I think you'd see a lot of bodies if it were. I think there'd be a lot of dead people.

I really do. This is what I think. I think it's one of those where's the bodies thing. Like, where's the bodies? Where's the bodies thing. Like, where's the bodies? Where's the bodies? You know, where are they? It might be one of those things, oh, you don't want to do that. Everybody's going to have heart attacks and die.

Are you sure? Are you sure everybody's not already doing it? Booze, like, there was a fucking stupid article that I was reading about the keto diet. It was so dumb. It was so poorly written and uninformed because they were talking about a study they did where they took people and they put them on a keto diet for four days and their athletic performance decreased.

And then they even included the caveat, this could possibly be because of the keto flu, which is something that sometimes people get before your body goes into ketosis. It takes a long time to switch your body off from a lifetime of burning carbs to burning fat. The real health benefits and athletic performance, if any, all happen after your body gets through this transitionary period. So they did a study about four days of the diet. Like, who gives a shit why

would you do that that's not how it works it takes weeks before your body even totally transitions over and then even then the benefits include include increase rather over months i mean there's plenty of science on this stuff like the people that i've had on the podcast that talked about it like dom diagostino and all the studies that he's done on it. Peter Adio, who was on the other day. These are like real scientists. The data is out there. You could look at it. It doesn't work for everybody in terms of the benefits of it.

But you don't do it over four days. So they're saying it's dangerous. Potentially dangerous diet. It's fucking food. It's not dangerous. You know what's really dangerous? Eating the same way most people eat every day. You know what?

I was watching a video with this guy from, you know the company called Flavor God? I think I've seen that. It's a spice company. He makes like really delicious spices. And he had this video. He went to a store and he just picked out a garlic salt. Like, okay, let's try this one right here. And he picks it up and it says sugar in it.

Sugar's the third ingredient in fucking garlic salt. So I go home after I watch this video. I pick up the garlic salt. I'm like, that looks like the shit that I have in my house. I pick it up. It's under garlic salt. It has fucking sugar. It's like the third or fourth ingredient is sugar.

I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. They put sugar in garlic salt. These monsters. That's insane. That's not in garlic salt. These monsters. That's insane. That's not right. Dude. These monsters. Is he selling it as a spice or does it say garlic salt on it?

It says it's a regular, it's a big company. It's a green cap. It says garlic salt. His stuff is just garlic and salt and real spices and whatever this flavor guy got. So he's just pointing out. Like, look, man, you're getting fucked over. And I didn't know. I had no idea.

I was pouring this. I put this stuff on my eggs. I didn't know there was sugar in it. That's ridiculous. Why would you put sugar in garlic salt? Don't call it garlic salt then. Call it Tony Spices. This is Tony Spices.

I put a little of this. I put a little of that. You know what? I like my grandmother always put sugar in everything. Fuck it. Sugar. That seems like that should be illegal. Should be illegal.

Fucking asshole. Because what if you can't have sugar? Exactly. You never think to look in salt. You have to check every fucking label to make sure someone's not sneaking some sugar in on you. Creepy fucks. Speaking of creepy fucks, did you hear about that nurse who is going to jail because she was infecting patients with hepatitis C? Yeah, I just saw that.

She was infecting her hepatitis C blood into their medication. Why? She's crazy. She's crazy. She was giving them hep C on purpose is what they're alleging at least. Here it is. Nurse allegedly used her own drug needles on patients leading to hepatitis C infections. Okay, so I'd read it differently.

I'd read that she injected the medication with her blood. She had put her blood in the medication. Maybe that was just a shitty article I read. But either way. Okay, so what they're saying is she's a suspicion of two counts of second degree assault.

She's not been formally charged and her mother Eunice told the media at the news conference Friday that her daughter wouldn't hurt a bug. Hmm. So they say a Washington emergency room nurse is accused of stealing narcotics and injecting two hospital patients with hep c using the same needles that she used to inject herself okay so they're not saying she infected it with her blood their blood on purpose she just

did something super irresponsible and used her needles on these patients so what she did was so what they're alleging is that she's using narcotics and she would get too much for the patients and give some to herself and use that same needle to give it to the patients, probably because needles are tightly controlled. Because they probably have to account for every needle missing, so they don't give them to junkies, and they probably have to account for all the narcotics. So she would probably give them some of hers. So it says she intentionally contaminated medicine or other substance with her own blood. See, that's what I read. See, this is a different thing. Is this a different website you just pulled up?

No, it's the same one. Intentionally contaminated medicine or another substance with her own blood. Then she administered the medicine or other substance intravenously. So the way she did it wasn't by putting her blood into the medication on purpose. The way she did it was by taking some of their medication, allegedly. It says, I haven't seen any evidence that would prove that she intentionally infected anyone. That's her attorney. Yeah. That's her attorney. Yeah, that's her attorney.

Yeah. So go to the top because there was something about narcotics, right? I've read this. There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie. And it's all about this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach. And it was all about mineral deficient diets and then how many people have mineral deficient diets because U.S. farmlands are just total overrun with, you know, you use the same land over and over and over again. They're overrun from the crops like just drain the dirt. So they have to add minerals to the soil and they have to add shit to it.

And this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach, was talking about how you have to realize like there's a lot of people out there that over time, mineral deficient diets will show poor health results, right? So he was going on about how little doctors know about health in general. They know how to fix things, but how little many doctors know about like good diet and what's important, what kind of nutrients you really need. Because they really don't spend that much time in school, much less time than the average person who's sort of obsessed with it.

But then he started going on about how many doctors they find dead from overdoses and stories about doctors that just shot themselves up in a break room and died, locked themselves up in a bathroom and shot coke. Like, if they're that tired and that worn down and they have access to coke, I bet a lot of them did it, especially if you could get away with it. Especially if they have that liquid coke in the hospitals. They're probably just huffing that stuff. Do they still have that liquid coke? They have lidocaine, right?

What do they use the liquid coke for? A numbing agent, right? That's what lidocaine is, right? Yeah, I think the same thing, though. But I don't think lidocaine gets you high I know this girl that used to I don't know if she made it but I always thought it was from a doctor it was like an inhaler type thing

and she would just do that or no no it was a nose thing like a spray nose thing like a flonase. Flonase for coke? yeah and she would just do that just shoot liquid coke up her snout? yeah thing like a flownase flownase for coke yeah and she would just do that whoa and she'd like just shoot liquid coke up her snout yeah whoa that's heavy sounds better for you than snorting i don't know it's like moisturizing i think the best way is apparently you chew those leaves

you ever done that no i've never even seen that before yeah the coca leaves that's apparently the best way but you never get that super rush. It's like the difference between the sugar that you would get from an apple and the sugar you would get from some Kool-Aid. Like if you drank a gallon of Kool-Aid, homemade Kool-Aid, we dumped

extra sugar in there and stirred that bitch up. Do you remember that? How great was that? Kool-Aid is delicious. What was your color? What was your go-to? I've never met a Kool-Aid is delicious. What was your color? What was your go-to? I've never met a Kool-Aid I didn't like. I never drank one glass of Kool-Aid. It was like, this Kool-Aid's bullshit. The green one was always weird.

They're fucking great. I loved when the big guy with the pitcher burst through the wall, too. Oh, yeah. Kool-Aid. Kool-Aid just smashed your house to give you. He was so excited to see you and give you your sugary drink. He would break your fucking house. That dude's still around. The Kool-Aid just smashed your house to give you... He was so excited to see you and give you your sugary drink. He would break your fucking house. That dude's still around. The Kool-Aid guy?

Yeah. Is he on the packages still? Yeah. That'd be funny if they made him thinner, though, to promote no sugar or something like that. Change of times. Get him on diet pills. Get Kool-Aid on the diet pills. He's a shot glass now.

Adderall, Adderall, Adderall, Adderall. Okay, let's find out how many people die every year from Adderall. Let's guess. I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess less than 100. Oh, no, no. It's way more than that. I say less than 100 in this country every year.

That's what I say. I say 59 people die of Adderall a year. I'll say 21,000 people. You'll be the worst guest ever on The Price is Right. You don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's just the chance you're taking. You don't have to go that high. Sometimes.

Just go a little higher than me and you got it. How much did you say? I'm saying 59 people. And it's 69. Okay. 69. Okay. 69. What do we got, Jamie? The first thing I found that said that there were 12 deaths associated to 7 to 16-year-old

boys in the year 2005. And there's articles about sudden deaths in 12 kids on Adderall. Just 12? Yeah, but it's not showing for the year. I don't know why. I think when you die on Adderall, they know where you live but that's like it's not showing for the year. I don't know why. I think when you die on Adderall, they know where you live. They come down. They nuke your house. They kill all the witnesses.

Yeah. The money in Adderall must be through the roof. Well, look at what happened to CBD. Did you hear about this? The medicine companies have something to do with that. They just made it a schedule one for CBD. Did they really do that? I thought they abandoned on that. No. They just made it a Schedule I for CBD. Did they really do that? I thought they abandoned on that.

No, I just read it the other day. I know they were doing that with Kratom, too. Court rules CBD Schedule I compound cannabinol sales only where pot legal. Well, that's just stupid. CBD, it's got the most minor levels of THC, and it has definite benefits, especially when you put it on as a lotion. That stuff feels—a appeals court upholds CBD status as a controlled substance. Well, fuck you, appeals court. That's against the hemp industry also, right?

That's a huge hit to the hemp legalization. Yeah, across the board. It's a huge hit to humanity. yeah across the board it's a huge hit to humanity it's just dumb that stuff's great for old ladies with arthritis it's so much better than a lot of medications you can take it in so many different forms you can take it as drops you could take it as a spray i'd take it as a um an ointment that i'll put on like i have a sore shoulder or some shit you put that stuff on it's fucking great. I just got some recently, and any time my neck is sore from laying weird or being in a hotel with a shitty pillow, I put it on, like two minutes.

Yeah, it just loosens everything up. It's amazing. You know what I bet it would be great for? Like a massage. Maybe you'd get fucked up. Maybe you'd get too high. Someone give you a massage and CBD lotion. I did it the other day.

Whoa. Did you? And I got it in her vagina, I thought I thought it was gonna be bad Like I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that right and you know, it's fine But they this company CBD for life. They gave me all these like they face lotions They have the stuff you put underneath your eyes like they have so much different kind of CBD stuff Yeah, Gino gave me some blue stuff. It's like a roll-on, you know, like roll-on deodorant you put it on like sore elbow or something. It's great Yeah, it doesn't do anything bad to you

The fact these assholes decided that it'd be a good idea to make that illegal so dumb If there's nothing wrong with it reduces inflammation, it's healthy. That's it period doesn't do anything wrong So now you can't buy it anymore. You can only buy it in places where pot's legal. Like, we can still buy it. Because we don't live in the dark ages. Stupid. There's a lot of dark age states out there, dude.

You ever watch that show, Live PD, I think it's called? Yeah. It's one of my favorite shows, but it's so weird watching people get busted for, like, weed. And you're like, wait, how old is this show? Oh, it's live right now. This is happening in South Carolina or whatever. Yeah, there's a bunch of spots where you could still get fully arrested. Go to jail.

You're a criminal. Texas. For pot. Yeah. Texas, they arrested Willie Nelson, dude. They pulled Willie Nelson off his tour bus. That's like shooting a bass in a toilet bowl. That's so dumb. That's so dumb.

That's so dumb. How could you do that? National treasure, man. Assholes. Of course he smokes pot. He's 150,000 years old. He's been playing music all across this land forever. Leave the guy alone.

Let him do whatever he wants. He's Willie Nelson. I mean, if you don't love Willie Nelson, fuck you. Right? Even if you don't want to listen to the guy's music, you're like, not right now, man. I'm into some Eminem right now. Okay, I get it.

But if you're like, man, fuck Willie Nelson. No. Fuck you. What do you think of the Kanye shit going on? Well, Jamie's kept me fully informed. He talks about it every morning. Jamie's got many, many theories. He's got one of those mind boards in his house where he's got index cards leading to the center.

Kanye's record release is in the center. And then all these things spray out to Yeezys and flip-flops and all these slides. And he's got a bunch of theories along the way. I've never heard your theory, but does it involve the car accident that he had right before he became popular? I think he has brain damage from this car accident. Well, those are the people that honestly think that he is still on, or sorry, he said he was on opioids from getting a lipo, actually.

Because a lot of the media scrutiny on him being fat, he said, led him to go getting lipo, which led him to having a painkiller addiction. And he was on an opioid thing. And he was very afraid when he went to the psycho hospital that he was going to get killed. People were going to take him away for all the shit he was saying. So he did have some issues. And I think he's publicly said he's been on some other medication, so he might be on or off of it right now also.

He should definitely run for president then. Poopity scoop. I mean, now he's in. It's perfect. He's got all the right ingredients. He's an artist. That's all I can say. He's an artist putting out music.

I would take Kanye over Trump any day, though. Here's that thing that you just said. You're out of your mind. Here's that thing that you just, you're out of your mind. Here's that thing that you just said, though, about the accident. You know, that's the story of Sam Kinison as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Sam Kinison was a, when he was a boy, he apparently was like a super normal kid. And then he got hit by a car really bad.

And from that point on, he became a different person. Became wild and reckless and crazy. It's what football players get their head hit. Fighters. Yep. Yep. And murder their wife, OJ Simpson. You know, his doctor said that they would use that as a defense.

They would consider using that as a defense if that trial was to happen today. 100%. It's like that other guy. The guy that ended up killing himself, the football player, what is his name? He went to jail and he hung himself. Martinez.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Adrian, what's his name, Jamie? Jesus Christ, you guys asked me. Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. That's right. Yo, Adrian.

Yeah, but they're saying that he probably had that too. No, he 100% did. 100%. It's not a matter of whether or not you have brain damage. It's a matter of how much. How much do you have and can you work with it? You know? That's what it's about.

I mean, if you get hit in the head a lot, you have brain damage. Your brain does not want to get hit. It's not normal. Aaron Hernandez suffered from most severe CT he ever found in a person his age. He's kind of like Brendan Shaw, dude. Looks like it. Yeah, looks like it. But Brendan's way more keto right now, very thin.

I said they've never seen a brain like his in someone younger than 46. And he was like 25, maybe. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, there is a fucking epidemic of this shit. And it includes all sorts of people that get their head hit, whether it's BMX guys that are constantly crashing. I mean, you think about how many times a BMX guy will crash in his career, how many head bumps he takes. Skateboarders, notorious for doing crazy shit, wiping. The older you get, does it look kind of like a pitbull? Does it swell and it gets worse? No

No, they do say though the damage accumulative it's a cumulative Cumulative over I think a period of like 10 years from the initial incident So like say if you have a really bad car accident Your brain will continue to deteriorate for 10 years from the effects of that accident. When a guy told me that, I was like, how do you know? And I don't know how they know. I don't remember. He kind of explained it.

But I was like, so you mean a guy who gets knocked out. We were at the fights when he was telling me this. So I'm like, you tell me a guy who gets knocked out today is going to feel the real repercussions of that knockout in 10 years he's like yes it's very possible that's the case wow it's going to take 10 years to show its full effects so if you see someone who's fucked up now like if they've got brain damage now like as time goes on it's going to be like like muhammad ali was one of the weirder ones because he had developed a neurological disease. He developed Parkinson's. But there's trauma-induced Parkinson's.

A lot of people are trying to say, no, no, no, Ali got Parkinson's. It was a disease. Yeah, maybe. But you know who else has Parkinson's? Freddie Roach, the boxing coach. And he openly discusses the fact that it's trauma-induced. He got it from his long boxing career. Just because it's a brain disease

doesn't mean the brain disease didn't come from getting the fuck beat out of your brain. I mean, imagine if you had a game that you played where people liked to kick you in the liver. This is the game. You know, you kick me in the liver, I kick you in the liver. And then later on, you develop liver cancer.

And people are like, yeah, but he used to like to drink. Oh, he had sclerosis. It had nothing to do with getting kicked a lot. Oh, okay. Nothing to do. I'm sure he has a super healthy brain after getting pounded on for decades. That's ridiculous. That doesn't make any sense.

Jesus. Yeah. Jesus. Dude, I have probably the most minor of brain damages. Probably the most minor because I stopped when I was 21. Yeah, what's your number? How many times did I get hit? No, I mean, how many times do you think like, oh, that did damage?

Oh, 100%. Many times. There's a bunch of them. There's a bunch of them that I can think back about getting rocked and feeling my knees go. Like getting punched and then keep sparring keep sparring spar two more rounds with that guy spar three rounds with another guy he's hitting you in the face too like you didn't stop it was really dumb you'd get hit and you get rocked and you didn't nobody like sat you down and go okay let's take the day off now you get right back in there man

your fucking legs would go bang like your legs would go and you'd cover up and people would be throwing bombs on you. And you'd – next day, sparring again. Is there a way to detect it? Like get your brain scanned so you can see? There's better ways now. There's better ways now. But I had a limited amount of it. I mean I had the real getting wrapped in the head for me came when I tried to transition from taekwondo to kickboxing.

Doing taekwondo, I definitely got hit in the head for me came when I tried to transition from Taekwondo to kickboxing. Doing Taekwondo, I definitely got hit in the head, for sure. But I didn't get hit in the head as much. Because it's hard to kick people in the head. You definitely get hit. I mean, I don't know how many times. I definitely got hit. But I never got knocked out from a head kick. But I got knocked out from punches before.

At least TKO'd. I got TKO'd. But when a punch hits your face, it's like your legs go. Everything shuts off. If you get rocked and you see a person go down, it's not that they go down like, oh, there's so much pain. I have to go down. No.

You get hit and everything shuts off. It just goes. And then you feel your legs like rubber. You're trying to stand back up. Did you just watch the last UFC where Edson Barboza head kicked Kevin Lee? Yes. You see that? He spinning wheel kicked him, and you see Kevin Lee's legs just go boink.

They just gave out for a second, and then he came back, and those ones I got way more when I was boxing. I got way more of those. I was not good at boxing when I first got into boxing. I was good at taekwondo, but then I got into boxing. I got way more of those. I was not good at boxing. When I first got into boxing, I was good at Taekwondo, but then I got into boxing, I was not good at it. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't understand the distance.

Taekwondo, you didn't punch in the face, you only punched the body so you had a real distorted perception of how good you were with your hands. And then once I started boxing, I was like, ooh, this is terrible. That's when I was taking probably the most damage of my life, of a period of two years of a lot of sparring. I did a lot of sparring.

Everybody sparred. Everybody sparred with everybody. People knocked people out all the time. It's so stupid. So stupid. I see guys get knocked out. I mean, out cold, right hand to the chin. Boom!

Eyes roll behind their head. Legs give out. They bounce off the canvas. They put a cold towel on him. They put some ice on his head. He gets up. He's like, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. You want to keep going?

Yeah, let's keep going. Let's keep going. No. You were just unconscious. You were just unconscious five minutes ago. And you want to keep sparring? This is crazy. And they'd let him. They'd let him keep going. Let's keep going. No. You were just unconscious. You were just unconscious five minutes ago. And you want to keep sparring? This is crazy. And they'd let him.

They'd let him keep sparring. You did it from when you were like real young, right? Taekwondo from when I was, well, I took karate classes when I was 14. But when I got super serious, I was 15. It was like right at my, before my sophomore year of high school. So like I got into it from the time I was in the ninth grade, as I was 14, like that summer, like right after my birthday,

around is when I started getting into tights. So I was probably either 14 or just turning 15. I was going to ask, was there a point you could tell where people actually could be able to knock people out and give that damage? Because there may be... 14-year-olds can knock you out. The thing about kicks is almost anybody can knock you out.

It's really crazy. When you think of the amount of power that you have to have in your legs. Say if you decide to put a heavy backpack on, like one of those outdoorsman's Atlas trainers and put 90 pounds on, you could walk

up flights of stairs, dude. Just think of how much power that is in your legs. You could throw your body up flights of stairs for exercise. Just your body is whatever you weigh, 150, 200, whatever you weigh, your body is just launching that through the air over and over and over again. body's just launching that through the air over and over and over again. Even if you're a girl that weighs 135 pounds, you're still launching 135 pounds through the air. And if that girl fucking shins you, right on your temple, like goes across the jaw temple area, your legs are going to give out. Your brain's going to shut off.

If somebody hits you perfect. Your legs are going to give out. Your brain's going to shut off. If somebody hits you perfect, there's a video of, I think the guy was, I think it was, I think it was Mighty Mo. Mighty Mo, who's this huge kickboxer. I believe he was Samoan. And I mean, just like typical Samoan dude, big, giant, fucking powerhouse of a dude. And he fought this little Thai guy.

This Thai guy was 175 pounds, so much smaller than him. I mean, it was crazy to watch. And Thai guy's just moving away, moving away, moving away. And then the Thai guy roundhouse kicks him in the head. This guy. Like, look at the difference in size. Yeah. And watch this.

This dude just comes over the top. I mean, the difference between the two of them, Mighty Mo is a beast, too. Seriously dangerous knockout puncher. He put a lot of guys to sleep. So not as this guy in there with someone way bigger than him, but he's in there with a killer. But boom, look at that. One head kick, and Mighty Mo's down and out.

I mean, back that up again, because that is a crazy thing to watch. You're talking about a guy who might have been 100 pounds lighter than him, and Mighty Mo's just a vicious puncher. Bang! You just clanged him right in the head. That's what I'm talking about. A girl does that to you? Night, night, son.

Yeah, I was thinking more like two 10-year-olds. Can they knock each other out? That's a good point, because the thought process is that if you teach kids technique, don't teach them to just go in these wild fucking haymaker exchanges, but teach them how to do it correctly. It's good to do it when they're young because they don't hurt each other because they have little tiny arms and they just kind of touch each other and they can't really generate knockout power.

And if they learn how to do that from the beginning and then develop knockout power on the pads and on the bag, then you develop much more technically proficient fighters rather than brawlers. So the problem with fighting is, like, most people don't fight to the physical ability of their body. Like, they just, they decide, like, they're going to knock this guy out, I'm going to try to hit him with this. And they think in this real limited sort of linear, aggressive, like almost obvious manner. And then you've got guys who see past that, who take things to a new place.

You've got guys who figure out that you can be like really elusive and confusing. be like really elusive and confusing and then you see those guys fight like limited blocky like obvious fighters and like anderson sylvan is prime it's a perfect example that anderson was an artist i mean he would just he would you didn't know what he was going to do he'd study you he'd be moving around he'd be standing in front of you he'd be dancing he'd just be following you around and then all of a sudden, he'd just say, I got this motherfucker figured out. Bang! He would just move in on you. Bang! And you didn't know what was coming. Flying knee. You didn't know what was

coming. Roundhouse kick. Front kick to the face. You didn't know what the fuck was coming, man. It was a totally different kind of fighter. So the difference between that and a guy who's just like a powerhouse of a person and can knock guys out, but never achieves this sort of mastery of space and distance.

They win fights through brawling and power and just kinetic brute force rather than artistry and avoidance and countering. Like Conor McGregor when he knocked out Jose Aldo. Perfect example. Aldo's like, fuck you. Charge at him. Conor slides back. Bop. Drop Jose Aldo. Perfect example. Aldo's like, fuck you. Charge at him. Conor slides back. Bop.

Drops a fucking left hand on the button. Bop, bop. And he's the champ champ. I mean, come on. Or champ. Then became the champ champ. Champ champ. But that thing is hard to figure out.

Sometimes guys just decide they'd rather bite down their mouthpiece and let the fucking chips fly. It's not. It's the funnest part of the end of a fight. Yeah. sometimes guys just decide to rather bite down their mouthpiece and let the fucking chips fly it's not it's the funnest part of the end of a fight like the last 30 seconds they get crazy because they know there's no more time left

they just try to win, try to stop it yeah some of those fights are awesome look as a person watching those things are awesome there's two different parts the way I look at fights I love a good Diego Sanchez Gilbert Melendez fight where they just fucking go crazy for three rounds. I love that. That was one of my favorite fights ever.

But I also love real technical fights where I see like two artists trying to solve each other's riddle, trying to figure each other out, you know? Like Luke Rockhold versus Yoel Romero was that. Like Yoel just trying to figure him out, trying to figure him out. Maybe I move like this. And then boom, drops that left hand on him. Same thing with him versus Chris Weidman. He's just moving around, hard to figure out what he's going to do, hard to figure out what's coming, and then boom,

flying knee to the chin or to the head. He's a great example of a guy who just figures out how to break your rhythm and figure it through rather than just running at you. Clash, clash, clash. You know, Frank Mir was just talking about that Fedor fight, and he was saying that his ego got the best of him. Did you see the fight? It was a really good fight, really crazy until Fedor KO'd him.

Fedor caught him with a left hand and dropped him and put him away. But before Fedor KO'd him, Frank Mir had hit Fedor. And it got interesting in the very beginning seconds of the fight. But then Fedor hit him with a perfectly timed hip throw. Just fucking boom. I mean, sent him flying through the air and slammed him to the ground and apparently, Frank said, from that moment on, his ego got the best of him.

He was trying to get him back and he wound up just getting in this crazy brawl and getting knocked out. It's really fighting to me is so interesting. It's just so interesting when you see all the different things that people can do and how they're going to match up together and what one person's going to be able

to figure out how to get their ideas through. My idea is I want to kick this motherfucker in the head. How can I do this? I've got to figure out how to get through. And his idea is I want to take this guy down and punch his fucking face in. How do I figure out how to do this? And then the two of them are just trying each other's strata and you don't really know. You don't fucking know.

You don't know until they get in there for the most part. It's the greatest shit ever. With the judging, have they ever tried sharing in between rounds what the scores are so you don't have to guess? People would throw rocks at those people. What if they don't say who it is or they don't have to be? They'd throw rocks at all of them. It's a bad idea. They'd kill them all just by being associated.

What if they weren't there? What if they're in the back room? Oh, that's even worse. Why aren't they there? Maybe the judging would be better if they were there. That's what I was going to say. What if they weren't there? What if they're in the back room? Oh, that's even worse. Why aren't they there? Maybe the judging would be better if they were there. That's what I was going to say. Do they have to be there? Does it have to be in-person judging?

They're actually elevated. They're a little higher than everybody else, too. They're looking at it above me. Because when the action's happening on the other side of the octagon, you can't see anything. So I know they get a monitor, but what's the point in being there

if they can't see? We had to make sure they got monitors. They didn't get monitors in the beginning. In the olden days, they didn't have monitors. And I was going crazy. I was like, how is it that I, a person who has no effect whatsoever on the score of this fight, I have a monitor. I can ask for a replay.

I have all this shit at my disposal. I have earphones on with a microphone, and I can press the truck. I go, can I see that again? And they'll show it to me on the B screen. I'm like, yeah, is his ankle broke? And so the production, like sometimes during a fight, will tell him, hey Joe, we got the headbutt. It was a headbutt that caused that cut. And then I'll say, okay, I'm just hearing from the truck now that it was

a headbutt. We're going to show you that as soon as we can. But I'm watching it on the screen right there. Why can't the judges get that? How long ago did that change? It seems like that should have been day one. It wasn't that long ago. Wow. I don't think the judges have access to replays, though.

They can't call up a replay like I can. Why not? Maybe they shouldn't be able to. They should be able to. They don't have a little bit too much time to judge or think about it. No, you need to know things. You need to know things. Like if a guy gets kicked in the balls, was that a real kick in the balls?

Watch after the fact because you don't want their attention taken from what's going to action. Depends. Stop and watch the replay. Depends. Yeah. I mean, I think it should just be an option for something's up. Like, what happened there?

Did he get rocked or did he fall on his ankle? You know what I'm saying? Like, what happened there? And there's only one way to tell sometimes. You've got to see it again. Can I see that again, please? They should be able to say, can I see that again, please? Every sport has that.

Yeah. Well, they have instant replays now, which is interesting. Like, say if a guy pokes a guy in the eye, and the judge wants to call for an instant replay. But once they institute the instant replay in some states, the fight is over. That's silly. That's so crazy.

That doesn't make any sense. So if I say no instant replay, I'll just take this eye poke and keep fighting. That's okay? But if you want to look at it on video, the fight's over. What? I compare it to the NBA, which I watch a lot. They go to the replay a lot, which is a little annoying as a viewer, but they're trying to get it

right, which they have a team of people in New York where they're watching all the angles. They can pull up anything they want. They can see anything. They take as much time as they need to. Sometimes it takes five minutes. Why not do that with fighting? They get it right. Common sense. Why doesn't that exist? It should definitely exist.

We talked about it with Michael Chandler yesterday that there should be more judges. There definitely shouldn't be only three judges. It's ridiculous. It doesn't make any sense. There's no reason to limit it to three judges. I bet you would get far more competent, far more knowledgeable judges for free than you would even if you paid them.

Just blow up their fucking Twitter account. Blow their Twitter account up. They'll judge you for free. There's so many MMA fans out there that would love to judge fights, and they actually understand fighting. They really get it, and they love it. They're not just doing it because it's a job and they used to do boxing and this is a good way to make $1,500 on a Saturday night or whatever.

They're doing it because they actually love it. So many people would do it. It would be way better. You could definitely judge from home too. We definitely should have. I mean, why not have like an online scorecard as well? Like why not have that as an option so the UFC could let everybody know

how bad the judges are. I mean, I'm not saying that everybody online is going to know what the fuck they're talking about, but enough people online are going to know what they're talking about where it'll balance out. So if you had just like 10 judges and then the online judges have Have an online scorecard. If you pay for Fight Pass,

you probably are willing to have some knowledge on the sport. Yeah, but also if, say, like, Conor fights Unknown Bob, you know, all the Conor fans are going to vote for him anyway. Yeah, but it'll balance out, because Unknown Bob will probably have some fans too. And then people will be a bunch of haters. They're hoping that Conor fails because he's got a limousine. Conor's the one with the fight patch.

You've got to pay for your vote in that case. You don't want to pay $10 every time. Yeah, exactly. If you had an app, you have a UFC app, and the app, all it has to do, they just make it so it's interactive. So with each fight, after the fight's over, you click winner or loser. That's all you have to do. Just click winner. And if you're optional, you can put in your. You know, that's all you have to do. Just click winner.

And if you're optional, you can put in your own score. But get the fuck out of here. The scoring sucks anyway. The 10-point must system is stupid. It's a borrowed system. It's not a good system for all those weapons. It's a good system for two weapons, punches. You know, you got kicks and knees and elbows, chokes, takedowns, defense.

You got slams and throws and, come on, wheel kicks and spinning back kicks. What's better, a spinning back kick or a jab? Boxing is a punch or a punch. Like, that punch was harder than that punch. But unless someone's kicking you in the leg, you don't even know what that feels like. You have no idea. The guy's just walking around like nothing happened. You can't score that if nobody's ever kicked you in the leg, you don't even know what that feels like. You have no idea. The guy's just walking around like nothing happened. You can't score that if nobody's ever kicked you in the legs.

They should have a full bodysuit that detects punches and how strong it is. Yeah, but then it takes away from the fucking rawness of it all. You can't have people fighting in bodysuits. Well, in the future, it will look like you don't have anything on. A lot of gals have to wear, they'll wear something that covers their midsection, right? They have like a sports bra, strapped down, sort of jammy,

and they wear something that covers their midsection too. That's interesting. Like, they have to have their stomach covered. Or they're allowed to have their stomach covered. Just to keep their boobs in check. Like, everybody's gotta stay in the party. Can't fuck up those titties. Kat Zingano will be on soon. She'll explain it to us.

She had a wardrobe malfunction in one of her fights. Jamie, pull that up. Slip of the dark skin. Just a tiny slip, slip, slip of the dark skin. Isn't that funny? Every dude shows his nipple. Every dude who fights

shows his nipple. Girl goes who fights shows his nipple. Girl goes out and shows her nipple, everybody goes crazy. You know what's funny? Twitch won't even let a grown man take off his shirt. You'll be banned. Keep your clothes on, you freak. People are always like, why don't you broadcast on Twitch? Because if I can get banned for just showing a nipple,

I mean, anything. A man can get banned. Like Burt Kreischer, if he tried to do the Bert cast on Twitch, he would immediately be banned. He could maybe talk to them and they might be able to. But most people, yeah, it's against the guidelines

to show skin like that. It's a lot of those things. That's the only problem with Twitch is you forget it's made for babies. That's so silly. You can't show man boobs? Yeah. It's pretty ridiculous. What if't show man boobs? Yeah.

It's pretty ridiculous. What if you're super flat chested? What if you take your shirt off and you're just smooth? I just don't want people taking their shirts off there. Okay, what if you take your shirt off and you have pasties on? They do have people that do body paint, so there is a little bit of a line. Oh, body paint's okay, huh? Gray area. So if you decide to do the British flag, paint that over your body.

That's okay? But you just can't be no paint. Strip clubs in Columbus, Ohio, the ones that serve alcohol, they can't even show their tits. They have to wear pasties. But they have pasties that look like better areolas. Like, oh, I'm going to have these nice darker ones. Like fake pasties? Yeah.

Whoa. Wow. That's sick. Body paint's pretty cool when it's done right. Well, that is incredible. That's really good. Go back to that again? Yeah.

That's neat. There's a couple of them. I'm missing this. She's doing this character on the side here. Right. But that's all her? Really? I'm pretty sure.

Wow. Well, she's definitely got some kind of a boob pad going on. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, some people are really good. She did that to herself? Dude. Holy shit. Have you ever seen the girl, it's on Instagram, where she will paint her eyes up here and

then have a fake nose and a fake mouth, and it looks like a completely different face and then she opens her real eyes and I go that's not that's yeah yeah this is basically you're looking at naked boobs they just got paint on them so we let it slide so is this this girl's thing she just gets her boobs painted and goes on oh my gosh she does yeah that's her thing that is hilarious. It's great. That's a way that you could see the whole thing. Girls are trying to figure out this dress is just not tight enough. It's not revealing enough.

There were some girls that were playing games on Twitch just in like a bikini or whatnot and they got in trouble for that so they had to take their scheme over to YouTube or some other sites. How long before someone comes up with a non-toxic paint that girls can paint all over their body, and it's like a thin nylon layer, and they'll go out and you'll see everything?

So you know there's going to be a few girls that just go for it. Like this Deadpool here, naked Deadpool girl. There's going to be girls like that that just go for it. Whoa. My favorite is if you Google a twitch girl doesn't realize cameras still on after show and masturbates is it you got busted you fall for that come on you have all because the one I saw looked really real you just you just yeah dream you wanted to be real. That's ridiculous. You call bullshit

on everything. Why did you not call bullshit on that? I think this was like a well-known girl that did it. No? Right.

Did she contact you on Instagram? Was her name Mary9045? Did you say hello, dear? Well, no. I mean, look. There was no reason why it was like a bad,

like she was half off the camera. Like it looked like it wasn't like her center perfectly. Like that's how I would do it if I was going to fake something. Wouldn't you fake it like that? I guess you're right. Come on, son.

How dare you? It's just sad. Sad that you got roped into that. I feel less of you now. It's the first time it's happened, Joe. There's too many scams. There is. Too easy to get.

The new one, I almost got scammed the other day. The new one, I don't know what's going on lately with robocalls, but I'm getting a call almost every day like, this is the IRS. You need to contact us now. Or this is AT&T. We need to talk to you about your billing. Please enter your credit card info right now.

Do they call you when you're high? Non-stop, no. But it's interesting because I think T-Mobile does it. Does your phone come up now just as scam likely? Does it do that? Yeah, like T-Mobile is now filtering out these calls and it's telling me if it's a scam. Oh, I like T-Mobile.

Yeah. I like that. It's going to be cool when, say, Merge is spread. I heard recently that as the rest of the world sort of gets online, like, for instance, parts of Africa that aren't online now will be online eventually, that the scams will switch back. Like the Nigerian Prince scam will be Americans scamming people in Africa. Because they don't know about the scams yet

because they haven't been a part of it. Oh, my God. I don't know if that will really happen, but that's just some theories. That's not a bad theory. But those people were really good at scamming lonely people there was such a sad show i was watching once about this old guy and i think the guy's daughter was like trying to like tell him that this girl wasn't real and he kept going to england for he went to europe twice um to meet her and both times something came up she couldn't meet him and then he went back again and he keeps sending her money he's been sending her money sent her i want

to say like a quarter million dollars and his daughter was like it's not really you can see the guy like like they're filming him and talking to him and he had this like look in his eye like he's hoping they're wrong but thinking they might be right. Like he was going insane. He was going insane from loneliness. Sad. I see it every day on the webcam sites. Yeah. There's guys that every single day I go there, the same guy's there, and he's spending money nonstop all day long.

And he's just on there all day. He must spend like thousands of dollars a day. How a billion-dollar internet scam is breaking hearts and bank accounts. Criminal networks defraud lonely people around the world with false promises of love and romance you know you can analyze this from a lot of ways like it's predatory behavior i caught a coyote in my yard last night it's predatory behavior right there's gonna have human coyotes you're always gonna i didn't catch them like catch them catch them like catch them

catch them i chased them out of my yard they're trying to get my chickens but this is a predator behavior on a weak person you know it's like it's it's on one hand i feel upset that they would go after these people these lonely people but the other hand it's fascinating to me because like what a drug people's love is what a drug that is like how important it is that people like find people that care about them that like them and care about them it's so important when you don't have that in your life you just feel so empty and it's one of probably the most major sources of like bad feelings in people so they just don't have anybody that loves them they don't have good friends they don't have they don't have good people around them and they're just sad just sad to the point where someone comes along and goes, sad. We can help you.

Sad. Come on. Come over here. We've got girls. Girls that want to meet you. Girls in your town. Girls. Sign up.

You can meet girls. Like, girls? What kind of girls? You know, it's like someone offering you food. Facebook's new online dating service won't have ads. I thought that said, won't have AIDS. No AIDS allowed. That's what I thought it said.

I was like, what the fuck are they saying? It sounds like that'll take advantage of what you're talking about right now. Their new online dating service won't have ads. So, but it will have Russians. All Russians, all the time. But it will have Russians. All Russians. All the time.

Well, I mean, it would be nice if people could just meet people in the real world. Just meeting people online stuff. It's so weird how, like, I talk to people that use Tinder. They hook up on Tinder, like, weekly. And there's a lot of these people that that's all they do. They'll just fuck people on Tinder all day. And it just makes you wonder how many people just do that like you'll you'll date a woman and she's already been fucked like seven times from you know you're the same uh app you know like all these people are just like they're just like you're taking extreme risks yeah with your vd

there was there was the fucking thing where they wanted to sue online dating apps. Like someone was saying, should online dating apps be responsible for the increase in sexually transmitted diseases? Should they be responsible? Like as if they have some obligation to tell you to wear rubber. How fucking stupid that is. Like they have some obligation. They're like, you know, they're like you know like look you know these poor little children are gonna go

fucking you need to tell them they need to protect themselves like these grown adults grown adults using an app tinder and grinder don't want to talk about their role in rising STDs good why do you want to talk to them you muck raking

piece of shit they don't have a role revising STDs. Good! Why do you want to talk to them, you muckraking piece of shit? They don't have a role. They connect people together. People make their own decisions. You've got to be responsible for your own actions, especially when it comes to something like that. That's crazy. And the other part is the demonization of sex is a big part of this.

What about Tinder and Grindr? What are you doing here? All those people are just having sex and getting STDs. part of this. What about Tinder and Grindr? What are you doing here? All those people are just having sex and getting STDs. You're responsible. What about your part? What about your role? Get out of here. That's ridiculous.

That's ridiculous. Do bars have a role in liver sclerosis? Should they pay people out? Should they be financially responsible? They're literally selling you the shit that kills you. And they have zero responsibility. As long as they don't serve you while you're drunk and driving. As long as they

cut you off in time and say, hey, you got too drunk, we cut him off. Alright, sounds good. They literally sell you the stuff that does it to you. And no one cares. As they should. No one should care. You're a fucking grown adult. Those are dudes banging each other all day. Do you think that

anyone's going to stop that? Oh, I shouldn't connect these people. You shouldn't make money connecting them. You shouldn't give them the opportunity to do exactly what they want as grown adults with a limited amount of time on earth. Get 90 years if you're lucky. If you want to spend

45 of them raw-dogging dudes, you go. You go, boy. Who gives a shit? They don't want to talk about their responsibility. Shut the fuck up, babies. I get very upset about something

that doesn't have anything to do with me. Especially Grindr. Now that Backpage is closed, like all these websites are closing, it's very interesting to see what happens next, where people are going to find their hookups and stuff. Well, yeah. I was reading this thing where sex workers are in danger because of this. they used to be able to vet customers and then customers would have like a record of using other sex workers and they could know who the psychos were and who to avoid you know what i mean and they could also screen people like actively screen they could do they could do all this they were saying i was i was reading an article about it where this girl who i remember if they

gave her name out or not but she was she worked in a brothel and she was talking about it where this girl who, I don't remember if they gave her name out or not, but she was, she worked in a brothel and she was talking about it. And it's like, what, why are they doing this? Like, is there, is it because of a crime? Like, what's the crime? So if they get together, like through Tinder or Grindr, that's fine. Cause that's two people that decide to have sex. But as long as they're grown adults and one person just wants to get paid and the other person is like, well, I'll pay you. And they go, okay, okay, fine.

Like, why is that illegal? Like, we're not talking about sex trafficking for children. We're not talking about slavery. We're just talking about just let's just look at it from the cleanest perspective possible. Grown adult who likes sex decides she wants to work in a brothel is that possible is it possible for you to do that like to for it to be a grown adult who actually enjoys it doesn't have any problem with it decides that it's better than working at wendy's isn't that is that possible i mean the people don't want to say it nobody wants to say that it's possible nobody wants to

ever look at it that way the war on sex workers needs to stop now. Rolling Stone. Yeah. You know, it's, it just seems like a dumb thing to chase down. I mean, I think if people want to have sex with each other, nobody has a problem with it. But if people want to pay people to have sex, then it's a problem. That seems so crazy. Again, we're not talking about child slavery. We're not talking about sex slaves. We're not talking about anything against anybody's will. We're just talking about people who would choose to do that. Like, why not? And I've always used this example,

but it's a good example. Why is it okay for me to get a massage? It's okay for me to pay someone to give me pleasure all over my body except my genitals. Like they could rub my neck and my feet. They can get all up in my feet, man. They get those thumbs and start working your feet. You're like, oh, they crack your toes, pop, pop. It feels great. That's fine, but they can't jerk you off.

If they jerked you off, that would be a terrible sin against God and man. If they touched your penis, which feels really good when you touch it, can't do that. I know a dude who said he gets asshole massages. Yeah. That actually happens all the time to me. The interior of your asshole. They massage the interior of your asshole. That's okay because it's just a massage.

Prostate massage. What's weird is when they do it and they don't ask you. Because a lot of massage people just do it. That's a part of the massage. And they just start. Yep. No, no. I don't want that.

Apparently some people get it where they use a tool. And they actually go inside your asshole and rub down. No, no, no. Not that tool. The other one, no, not that tool. The other one. Your fist. Fist. They use some sort of a thing to fucking check your butt. That's okay.

That's fine. That's fine. Just don't touch the dick. If you touch the dick, it's goddamn crime. They're waiting outside the door with a pistol. You just let me know when he touches the dick. He's just rubbing his asshole. Check the books. Is that alright? Ah, his dick's not even hard.

Okay. Okay. We're ready. We're ready! We're gonna break into this fucking shitty place as soon as we find out that he's getting his dick touched. You could get someone to just massage your asshole. Just get in there with, squeeze your butt cheeks and get two thumbs in your asshole.

What am I doing? I'm doing a sphincter massage. It's very important to release some of the chakras and negative energy and some of the toxins that are stored in your body from processed foods

and modern lifestyle. So we're just going in your asshole with some guru to talk people into thumbing them in the ass. It's so weird that I've never, like i just recently found

out all that shit that's happening in massage parlors but like you know 10 years ago i had no clue i would go buy a massage partner and go oh that's for massages there's nothing bad going on here i wonder how many places like that are like like psychics what happens at psychics at four in the morning why are they open at four in the morning is that where you get your ass eaten out and i you don't learn about that until you're 70 or something i don't think so i think psychics are open late at night because a it's a scam and b when people are it's late at night they're drunk and like maybe it's a girl who's driving home the guy texted her and she doesn't know should i text him back why is he texting me so late that's kind of disrespectful I don't know if he's the one and she pulls into that psychic's office and she's like

I just need you to tell me about my future and the psychic is like I sense there's a problem and romantic interest my boyfriend yes yes there's you're stressed. There's something deeply troubling you. You're confused. I am confused. Yes, you're confused. You're trying to, the decision's hard to, there's something coming up. Something's happening. Yeah, you want to see me come over to the house and fuck him. I don't want to do it.

Yes, that's it. There's a thing that he's wanting you to do that you're not so sure of. He's the one. Is that it? Yes! Oh, my God. That's what I said when I thing that he's wanting you to do that you're not so sure if he's the one. Is that it? Yes! Oh my God! That's what I said when I was on the way over here. And then when he said, you're not sure if he's the one, I'm like, oh my fucking God. Is it like written on my forehead?

How is it possible he knows? He fucking knew about Mark. He knew about our relationship problems. And he knew that I was on my way over there wondering whether or not he's the one I think you're my favorite girl voice guy, you know like You Hang out with your friends be a fucking asshole and hang out with your

friends and all this bullshit when I'm trying to figure out how this fucking psychic knows you're not the one for me. How does this psychic know? How does she know? A friend of mine went to one and he's like,

he knew my grandmother's whole, everything about my relationship with my grandmother. I go, don't you know? Don't you know everything about your relationship with your grandmother? What the fuck you want? You want to pay people to tell you shit you already knew it's four o'clock. It is four o'clock. You're fucking nuts I'm wearing a watch When it rains out you get wet whoa this guy's crazy tell me all the shit. I already knew It's crazy I bet I bet psychics are way better now telling me all the shit I already knew.

It's crazy. I bet psychics are way better nowadays because of technology. They probably have a little earpiece and some guy in the back looking at their license plate number online and finding out where they live and just feeding the person information. I bet psychics are killer now.

I bet there's some, probably. They're super high scammy level. Because you want to repeat customers customers so if you're that accurate i bet there's a huge scam in that that is a crazy thing if you're driving like you're driving through burbank or some shit every couple miles you see one of those psychic reader places five in the morning open big hand on the front like a handjob place but it it's a psychic. I went to one once when I was in New York and I was going to these fucking stupid auditions. I did not want to act and I was going, I was just, it wasn't what I was interested in doing. But like your agency would tell you, well, you know, you really should look into this

and you'd see what it was. It was like some role that you, I didn't, not only was I not going to get it, but I didn't want it. Like, I don't want, this is like, it's not even funny it's like super serious yeah but you should do it so they just they know they know what you could do commercials i'd go in and read for commercials and i'd be like what the fuck am i doing so i left one of them and i was terrible at it too it was terrible auditioning and then i went to this um i went to this psychic and I'm like well fuck it let's see it's only like I don't remember how much it was like 5 bucks 10 bucks

she's like you don't get along with your brothers I go I don't have any brothers shit I looked at her I'm like you don't know anything I looked in her eyes and she looked at me and I knew that she knew that I knew she was full of that I knew she was full of shit

I knew she was full shit. I looked I have any brothers. She's like Shit, I got crazy. She got gangster. She took a swing She's like I'm sensing brothers from this asshole got a chip in his shoulder shoulder brothers probably beat him up No, it came from a bad audition you missed it lady it's weird how we all know it's bullshit for the most part there may be some weirdo that actually can do some shit but like but we still accept it people still go to it even though they know deep down like hey we have a gun to your head right now is this real if you do the wrong answer then we're gonna blow your head off everyone's like no it's not real. Even the people that believe psychics the most are going to say, no, it's not real.

What do you say? Yeah, most likely. If it comes to a bullet in the head. Right. But we still do it. Or crystals. Oh, no, these crystals are healing me. Oh, yeah?

Gun to the head. Do you think they're really healing you? Do you think this rock is healing you? No, no. No one's going to say yes. Well, here's the thing about those crystals and those magnet things and all that shit. The one

weird thing is the placebo effect. Placebo effect is real. It's very real. Do you remember those holograms that people were wearing for a while on those rubber bracelets? Yeah. Brody has like four of them. Dude, there was world class UFC fighters that were wearing those stupid fucking things.

Like top-of-the-food-chain assassins. And they were like, dude, I'm telling you, it's been helping my elbow. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I talked to one of the guys. Goldberg was wearing one for a while. My buddy, Mike Goldberg, was wearing one. I was like, dude, I don't think that's real. He's like, you don't think?

I go, I don't think so. He's like, you want to meet with the guys who make it? I go, okay. I met with the guys who make it. And they try to do one of those strength test things on you. Like, here's what I want you to do. I'm going to put this rubber band on you. I want you to put your arm straight out, and I'm going to push down on it.

And they're like halfway pushed down. It's one of those things. It's like, okay, try to lift your arm up. And they're like, push down on your hand. And then you go, okay, I'll put this rubber bracelet on you. Now try to lift your arm up. You're like, wow, this is crazy. I can lift my arm up.

Because you weren't holding it back. You're not a machine. Like you could regulate how much force you're putting down. I know what you're doing. I go, this is a goddamn carnival trick. So I said to the guy, I go, this is a goddamn carnival trick. And Goldberg was like, is this fake? I go, it's fake.

Oh my God, is this fake? I go, what is this? I go, you tell me how this works. You have a piece of plastic that you're telling me I'm going to put on a rubber band. It's going to make me stronger. Dude, okay, I didn't spend a lot of time in school, but I spent enough. Fuck you. You can't do a hologram inside a hologram anyway.

Life is a hologram. You can't do it. Yeah, that's true. It's all a hologram. That's true. They don't even exist. That's true. There's certain things that make you think it might be a hologram.

Right. Power scam. That's it. Power bounce admits the wristbands are a scam. Of course. Wait a minute. No way, bro. We admit that there's no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims,

and therefore we engage in misleading conduct. Yeah. I called that shit out in, like, 2001. I was like, what are you guys doing? Like, what is this? Who's wearing that? Why would you think that would work? They had to publish that in Australian media.

Yeah, because Australia is fucking smarter than us. think that would work they had to publish that in an australian media yeah because australia is fucking smarter than us because of their bogus claims and pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo but this seems to be the first time in which a regulatory authority has made them admit their claims are simply a fraud hmm derp look there's some shit that makes you strong but it's not a rubber band with a piece of plastic attached to it it's cbd oil you know i mean you some shit that makes you strong but it's not a rubber band with a piece of plastic attached to it it's cbd oil you know i mean you want something that makes you feel better cbd oil is real well they're trying to make that illegal there is some uh some people that say that there's no scientific proof that cbd even works at that it's always the it's always the other ingredients

that are mixed with the cbd you know like like they'll take like the same ingredients that's in bengay and then put cbd in it also and they say doesn't this feel numb now like there's a lot there's no real i heard that there's no real concrete evidence that cbd because there's no test that i thought there was evidence that it decreased inflammation isn't there evidence that it decreased inflammation the problem is scientific studies all these things right it might be i might be mind fucking myself when i put that stuff on you might seems to work though especially for my elbow my um tendinitis i feel it like it works finally getting over dude i finally could do chin-ups i couldn't do chin-ups for I couldn't do chin-ups for months. Months. Try years, Joe.

Want some of this? It'll help. Sure. It's got CBD in it. I really, I was not doing any chin-ups or anything heavy. I was doing mostly running and yoga for months because of this fucking elbow. I've never had tendinitis before. I've had muscle pulls and stuff and injuries. I never had tendinitis before. I've had muscle pulls and stuff and injuries. I never had tendinitis.

And this was a dumb one because I meatheaded my way through it. I meatheaded it into a bad place. I was like, don't be a pussy. Just keep working out. And then it got real bad. And then until I did a bunch of different stuff to it, I did stem cells and Regenikine. But the thing that helped the most

was this rubber thing. Oh, is that a roller? No, it's not. It's called a Thermaband. I've talked about this so many times that I can't, Theraband rather, I can't buy them on Amazon anymore. People have bought them out, but I'm glad because they work. If you have a, it's cheap too. It's just, it's just a piece of rubber. And if you don't have this and you have something that can do a similar exercise, it'll probably help too. But what you do is you twist it and then in the release. Twist it. Yeah.

You twist this thing and in the release, you twist it with your hand like this. And then the release with the right hand, my right elbow was the one that was injured. And just slowly letting it down, it works this part of your arm. Oh, that's cool. In a weird way. So even though it's injured, it doesn't hurt it, but it strengthens it. That's great. It works a lot.

So I'll just pick this fucker up and do it 10 times, 12 times, 15 times, and do it several times a day. It made a big difference, man. Like right away I could feel it. It feels like everything around it is like strengthened and stabilized, and it just started feeling better. Because you're putting a load on it, and then you're making it release the load instead of like pulling it in the direction that you injured it. You're strengthening it in the, I guess it would be the eccentric way. Eccentric?

Eccentric way? So there you go. Don't get tendonitis, kids. I had recently from I think using cell phones too much and computers too much. Like carpal tunnel. To the point where my hand hurt. I think it's the same shit. It's repetitive stress.

Yeah. Right? Secretaries get that, right? From a lot of typing and stuff. Hairstylists also get it a lot. Yeah. I know a tattoo artist that has it. Yeah.

And right now, just me even saying it, I'm like, it's still actually really sore. My hand's still sore. Tattoo guys get it in their wrist too. And, you know, for a lot of those guys, they start getting addicted to anti-inflammatories and different things. If you have to use your fingers for work, can you imagine if you had to do something with your

hands like that for work and you started feeling that pain? This is just my elbow. I can do pretty much everything. Your hands, if it's in your hands fuck. That's a bitch I Was reading this article about replacing body parts They were talking about all the different body parts. They're on the verge of being able to replace They just did a face transplant didn't they they've done a few of those yeah, yeah, they did a few dick transplants

balls Yep, but here's the thing. They can't do the balls. Who wants the balls? You don't need them. Duncan only has one. No, but here's the thing. For ethical reasons.

Because the dead person's sperm will always be in those balls. So here's the thing. Say if you took my balls, if I died and you took my balls and put them in your body and then started having kids, those would be my kids. They would have my genes, not yours. I want your cum, man. You're going to have my cum inside your body growing. You're going to make my own cum. But that's the crazy thing.

You could make Jamie's cum. If Jamie died and he donated his cock and balls and you took his balls and put it in your body, he would grow your cum. My cum with his sperm? It's his sperm, my cum. It's your balls. So it's your sperm and your cum. My cum with his sperm? It's his sperm, my cum. It's your balls. So it's your sperm and your cum. You. It's your jizz.

Let's just call it jizz for scientific purposes. What happens if I have one of your balls and one of Jamie's balls, though? What happens if I have... We have a fucking crapshoot. Chocolate vanilla swirl? Who the hell that kid's going to be? I have gay friends that took... They had a kid through a surrogate,

and they took their cum and just mixed it up like a swirly. They're like, let's see. Let's see who wins the race. You know, they don't really know who won the race. That's how they mixed it up. They have a cute kid. He's a great kid. But they don't know who won that race.

They gargled it. They have their guesses. I read there's a Jenner baby situation going on, potentially with one of their bodyguards or something. Dun, dun, dun. The mom of the most recent kid is, the mom of the baby daddy is saying you need to get it checked because he's a famous rapper.

Ooh. Looks like his. Ooh. Looks like the bodyguard? Oh, shit. I bet those bodyguards get in there. Of course they do. They're probably ripped.

Yeah. Wasn't there a big thing about Kylie? She has a sexy bodyguard? I think that's the one. Yeah, this dude looks like he's in a goddamn Bruce Lee movie. Right? Yeah, pulled up. They all have to sleep with the bodyguards.

What are you talking about? You have this guy that just works out all the time. He's a handsome bastard. Kylie Jenner's bodyguard cryptically responds to baby daddy rumors. Okay, I'm out. Can't do this anymore. Can't do'm out. Can't do this anymore. Can't do it anymore. Can't do it anymore.

He's a handsome fellow, that bodyguard. I wouldn't blame the gal. It's happened before, though, apparently. Hey! What are you going to do? Not them, I don't know. What are you going to do? I'd just like to remind everybody we're in space and Hawaii is exploding.

Okay, if you really give a fuck. If you really give a fuck which bodyguard is getting their dick into which poor, confused young lady, things are going to happen that way, man. Things are going to happen. As you're talking about those body parts, I was going to ask if you heard about what happened to Huey Lewis recently. I've been hearing he's got some sort of inner ear infection.

I guess he's got Meniere's, and he most, like, very recently, he was on tour. I saw people that were, were like have been to his concerts but he said he can hear people talking like he was doing an interview with a woman he's like I can hear your voice

but I can't hear music and like that's what he does is perform it's pretty fucked up man like ear shit is really scary my friend he's an editor and one day

he just woke up and he can't hear out of his left ear and he's still to this day 10 years later still can't hear out of his left ear it happened he still, to this day, 10 years later, still can't hear out of his left ear. It happened to me, pretty sure. I have tinnitus pretty bad, yeah.

Whoa. What's tinnitus? It's a ringing that happens. I mean, this has been a heavy metal band, so I never wore earplugs and gone to tons of concerts for five plus years every other night. Like the camera sound that's like...

Yeah, yeah, just occasionally just go real high and I can't hear anything out of that ear. I sort of like plug it up or do something and it'll go away eventually but more recently it's taken a little longer to go away. I have that sometimes. It's usually when it's really quiet and it'll just come out of nowhere. I'll hear this like ringing but it's

not like every day. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is though. It's called tinnitus. How do you get it? Just from working around? It's just, though. It's called tinnitus. How do you get it? Just from working around? You're getting old, too. It's just hearing loss. It could be you've heard loud things. You've been to concerts over the years that damage. But the real thing, I think, is people who are around guns a lot. I know a lot of people who are around guns a lot as a kid.

They shot those clays with shotguns. You shoot those. John Dudley has a real bad hearing loss from that. Nobody ever told kids back then that they needed to wear earmuffs. Like, nobody wore ear protection. They would go to the range with just no earmuffs on. Just bang, bang, bang. Dude, concerts.

I don't think I, growing up, I ever even thought of that. Like, I would sit right next to the speaker on purpose. Like, I had a Nine Inch Nail concert. Oh, my God. Just because, like, oh, man, you know you know you're no one talked about that that's ridiculous wow that's crazy see if you can find video of them in a gun range with no ear protection because i don't think i'm making that up. I think I remember watching people on a range just shooting guns with no earplugs.

Nowadays, it doesn't matter, though, because they're hearing aids nowadays. It's like you have earbuds in now, and you get Bluetooth to your phone and everything. Yeah. It's cool. I want hearing aids. Well, they have those things called game ears.

You can put them in your hearing, in your ear canal, canal rather like a hearing aid and they amplify sounds extraordinarily and hunters use them in the woods they put them in and you can they call them game ears i think it's called a walker's game ear i put it on before it freaked me out i took it right off that's crazy i don't even want to hear this what you're looking for exactly but this guy's trying to tell people how to do it, and he's just plugging up his ear with his shoulder. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for, like, old school.

So he's saying, this is how I shoot guns if I don't have ear protection. I just put. Yeah. There's some articles of people discussing it, but nothing's really popping up. Maybe I imagined it. But I remember seeing, like, an old school range, some dude with a pistol with like a thick belt,

like those hippies used to wear in a belt buckle. And he's firing off that gun. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I think the first time I shot a gun, I didn't have headphones or ear protection at all. A lot of people. It's a bad idea. This guy has no ear protection? He gets up and he's like,

looks like he has a concussion almost. He has to catch his breath. That's so dumb. Do you know how powerful these things are? This is how powerful a.50 caliber is. Somebody decided, that's a.30 caliber, somebody decided to try to hunt deer with this.

So there's a video, you can find it online. Guy misses deer, and the deer's head exploded as it missed the eyes popped out of its head He thought it was a perfect headshot because the deer just went down But what it actually was was that the bullet passing by had so much force it Instantaneously killed the deer it's not crazy dude. It's insane It's insane Here it goes so this so he does this and he's got this a big-ass fucking gun

It says 50 BMG. I don't know what that means is that 50 caliber is what that means so look at this He goes over to the to the deer, and there's no bullet hole. It's just eyes had blown out of its fucking head. Just from the sheer force of that thing passing by it. That's crazy. Yeah, look, you can see it. Like, there's a slow motion of it. See, it passes by. It doesn't even hit it and the deer just disappears

into the night that's nuts imagine it has so much force it can miss a deer and kill it whoa that is so unnecessary come on I mean

that is such a war weapon fucking amen I mean, that is such a war weapon. Fucking A, man. That's a crazy thing to go hunting with. Woo. Do you use Uber a lot? No. You never do, do you?

No, I don't. It's too risky. I'm starting to not trust. It's so weird. I use it all the time. I use, you know, food delivery services all the time. And I'm having second thoughts on the whole thing. I think it's great.

I think Uber's great. I'm just fucking around by saying it's risky. I mean, the idea that you could just call a cab, like, okay, how come I can't just call an Uber? The only argument would be that they don't screen the people as well as the cab companies do. Exactly. That's regulated. Right. Which is why people like limos.

They prefer limos, you know? I mean, I was in one recently. The kid was probably, he seemed like he was like 17. Like, I was like, no way this is my driver. And I felt like he was drunk. Right. I was like, how do I get out of here? You know, like, we're on a highway right now. I can't just tell him to pull over on the side of the highway, but I feel like he's going to kill me.

Yeah. Well, there was a lady recently that went on this whole tweet thread. She tweeted a bunch of different things to Uber about a guy. Was it Uber or was it Lyft? One of those. Where a guy had taken her under a bridge and wouldn't give her her stuff back, wouldn't let her out of the car,

and some passerby stopped and helped her, and she was screaming at the guy, and the guy took off. But it was to a point where she was like, is this guy gonna rape me like is this guy gonna kill me like is this how i'm gonna end like i just jumped in a car with a stranger and now he's decided to stop somewhere and it's we're not it's not where we're supposed to go he's not telling me why that's that kind of shit like i guess that could theoretically happen

with any ride share company but with uber it's so weird it's just a person just get some person to come get you and you don't have to be hired by a company right you never thought that with taxis though like you never thought in like you know you always kind of like taxis were transportation you never thought oh this taxi driver is going to rape me or something right well especially like the only time i usually take taxis is in new york new york is the place to take taxis right because it's they're everywhere is the place to take taxis, right? Because it's... They're everywhere.

Yeah, and that's how people get around. It's an easy way to get around. But you never know. I mean, it's like a ride sometimes with those people. You'd get in the car and be like, whoa, this guy is just riding people's asses and cutting people off and slamming the brakes and honking the horn.

You're like, whoa! And this dude is tuned in he's doing this all day he's probably in this fucking car 10-12 hours a day and so you don't expect that because you come from Columbus Ohio we're from Columbus we still have Mormons

or no everybody has Mormons I meant Amish you still have the Amish right they're hip Amish with electricity. They're really hipsters. Still don't wear deodorant. Every time I go to New York

and I get in a car and some New Yorker's driving, I'm always like, whoa, you guys are in the Matrix. They just drive so much more aggressively. If you hire a car

to drive you around in New York City, they drive so much more aggressively. They're just so used to it. I just remember as a kid going to like Wyandotte Lake and like amusement parks they always went as a group to amusement parks so there's like 200 Amish people mixed in with us and would be like 14 13 and like look at those guys and the Amish people always acted like so almost like alien like

like they're from the country and they talk weird and they don't really talk like us like well they stayed it to themselves right i mean but i didn't know that they could go to amusement parks i thought their the whole idea was that they can't use electronics that might not have been that could have been like a different group there's different kinds of mennonites too right yeah there's different kinds of homies. I don't know if Quakers are still around. I was with Ari once. We were in Massachusetts, western Massachusetts. We stopped into this fucking truck stop to get gas and grab something to eat. And there's a group of Mennonites. And there's some girl that's wearing this Mennonite outfit.

And I forget how Ari asked her. I really wish, but it was hilarious. It was something along the lines of, so what cult are you in? Something along those lines. I think I was at a think or you may have been more tactful than that maybe it was something like what's this all about why are you dressed like that i think i remember i think i was there i think you were too it was something along the lines of uh what group are you with like it was it was something the point where and we were all of course baked out of our minds. You know,

we're traveling. We're just trying to be silly. We're just trying to have a good time, you know? I think Diaz was with us too, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah.

But this poor lady was in this weird cult wearing this weird outfit. And I think she answered like politely and he's like, I'm in,

you know, blah, blah, blah. She was polite. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, I'm in, you know, blah, blah, blah. She was polite? Yeah. Yeah, and he's like, okay. Ari is such a unique guy because he was, as a child, he was raised to be a very, very strict Orthodox Jew. You know, I mean, he spent time, I forget what it's called when you go over to Israel and you just read the Torah like fucking 10, 12 hours a day. He did that, all that stuff. He grew the curls.

He had the little strings that hang from his belt. He did all that. Smitzel something. It's called Orthodox, right? That's Orthodox Judaism. Yep, yep, yep. So when anybody tries to run any bullshit by Ari, he's like, I know this. He knows all that stuff.

He used to have the weird curls, too, and all that stuff. Yep, he had all that shit. Yeah. And then he just realized as he got older and wiser, he's like, oh, my God, this is all bullshit. Not that it is, folks. This is just Ari. Don't take him in his word for it. But he's a funny guy with that stuff.

Because I think only someone who's truly seen it from the eyes of an absolute believer. That's probably what he really looked like. Imagine that. He's gone through so many weird looks. Remember when Ari just had like a, he would always wear the small hats or something like that. You wore small hats? I don't remember hats. Remember he always had like the hat that would just hang on the side of his head?

I think he had his head shaved like a bald. He definitely shaved his head like a bald person for a while. Did he grow a mullet? A mohawk? A mohawk there. He's an animal. He doesn't give a fuck. I like that look.

I like the mohawk look. Yeah. The new thing is the no glasses look. He got the Lasix done. Oh, that's right. Powerful vision now. He could see. He got an infected toe and he had to get it chopped off. What? He lied. He trolled

me about like he got an infection on his big toe and he had to get it removed. You know what else is really good for that is Kurt Metzger. Because Kurt Metzger was in, was he in the Moonies or the Christian Jehovah's Witness? Jehovah's Witness. Yeah, I think you're right.

Yeah, so he grew up in the Jehovah's Witness. So, like, he's like, I'm not buying any of this. Like, I know where this is. Like, why do people, like, it's the same thing with psychics, right? Like, why do people have this need to hold on to irrational beliefs? There are some questions you don't have answers to. You know you don't have answers to. So why do you pretend that this answer is going to take its place? This answer you kind of know is bullshit is going to take its place.

Why do we need to do that? Because so many of us do. And I'm not immune to it. We all need that feeling. No, it's going to be okay, Brian. Everything's going gonna be okay brian everything's gonna be okay makes you wonder if you do the whole gun theory if this is real or not to religion how many people would say yes it's all real and who would go even the most religious person would like no of course not we all know i'm just i like it helps me out um i think a bunch of people take a bullet yeah yeah if you want to punish me for my Lord, you go ahead.

Jesus, I await thee in heaven. They'd take it right in the temple. Boom. Piles of people, piles of bodies at Walmart. Yeah, man. People would just blow their brains out. For their heavenly father does command you to come see him in heaven. Boom.

Yeah. A lot of people would do it. Guaranteed. But, you know, man, it's like even what's going on with the Pope just recently said there's no hell. Everybody went crazy. Like, what? What did he just say? The Pope said there's no hell.

He's slowly bracing you for the fact that all this is nonsense. But right now, we're going to get rid of hell. This is one of the purest examples of the change in people's attitude towards religion. Is this real? Yep. It says the Vatican denies that. What? Yeah.

The Vatican did not say there is no hell. Well, find out an article where it says he did say that. That's 50%. Cut the shit. He's not going to cut it. Go back. Go back in time and find an article where he did say it. Because I guarantee you he did say that. That's 50%. Cut this shit. He's not going to cut it. Go back. Go back in time and find an article where he did say it. Because I guarantee you he did say it.

Let's just assume that one day they're, see, this is what they do. They say it a little bit and then they take it back. So they get used to the idea that they're saying it. That's what it is. I'm full Eddie Bravo right now. I'm full conspiracy. Dude, this is how they set it up. They start out with

they tell you hell's not real and then they say we never said that and then a year from now they say, look, we're pretty sure hell's not real. This pope probably plays Fortnite and shit. He's the cool pope. He doesn't have the pope mobile. He's got his Kanye's on.

He's the cool pope. He is the cool pope. He got rid of the Popemobile. He's got his Kanye's on. He's the cool Pope. He is the cool Pope. He got rid of the throne. Okay. Yeah, he had a big, giant, crazy-ass throne for the last guy, the Creeper. He's got a gamer chair now. Look at those racing chairs and the headphones by your ears. Yeah, I just got one of those.

Pope Francis in the fucking house. Pope Francis has no problem with gay people either. Pope Francis fighting with Yolanda kid. Yeah, see, look how he swat. Look at the old throne versus the new throne. Look at the two side to side. The guy on the left is the guy they just kicked out for crimes against humanity. Wow.

And the guy on the right is the new guy who's just got a sensible chair. Much better. Yeah, the throne is creepy's just got a sensible chair. Much better. The other throne is creepy, man. That is crazy. He dresses much more conservatively, too. He's not wearing crazy wizard robes. He's wearing a one-color wizard robe.

He dresses like R. Kelly on a Sunday. He still has to dress crazy. If he came out in a polo shirt and a pair of jeans... No, right? No. Everybody like, hey, hey, hey. You can't be the Pope without the fucking magic outfit.

Where's your fish head hat? Come on, bro. He's got body armor on. He's got a hat on like a golden salmon that's coming out of the top of his head. Like, show me that hat. Look at this fucking hat. This hat is preposterous. It's ridiculous.

That's like a monster. It's a mouth of a monster. Like a giant snake. It looks like a napkin at a restaurant when you go there and it's sitting. Oh, and it's nicely done inside one of those little rings. He probably put it on by mistake. Like he's just like, look at me. I can't believe they're making fun of our holy father.

This fucking show sucks. You're making fun of our holy father this is on this fucking show sucks you're making fun of our holy father he's right there with the smoke oh my god how is this still legal look at these kids dressed up like they're in harry potter's seminary dundeldorf that they look they do they look like they go to that what's that hogwart school they do this is fucking ridiculous universal and they're talking to this dude Dundeldorf. They do. They look like they go to that, what's that, Hogwarts school? They do. This is fucking ridiculous. Universal Studios. And they're talking to this dude who's holding up a golden version of where the Savior was murdered. Right? He's got a golden cross.

This cross is all over the place. Like, don't forget about the cross. And he's standing there dressed like a wizard. This is craziness. And everybody's, no, no, no, no. This is our religion. This is our culture. This a wizard. This is craziness and everybody's no no this is our religion. This is our culture This is weird. This is weird, and I'm not saying it's not beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful I'm not saying it's any weirder than going to the opera cuz I think that's weird, too

But this shit is weird. This is some really old form of Education slash entertainment that people used to do before they had plays. They'd get together in some room with fucking crazy different colored glass windows in it. Why does he have a mic on? Why does that kid got to hold the mic? Well, because Jesus doesn't want him to be unmagnified. That's a thick mic, though. Yeah. Imagine if it was pink.

Just had a pink mic. What's it do? Why? Does it have to be silver? I like pink. Big pink mic. It's crazy, you know? And it's a billion of us.

And I was raised there. I mean, I was, from when I was a real little kid, I did at least one year in Catholic school. Was around a lot of Catholics. You know, I'm not claiming to be an expert in it, but I don't have to be. That shit's bananas. I used to be an altar server. I used to hold that mic. Did you really?

Yeah. All right, me too. Were you ever in the middle of doing that going, what in the fuck am I doing? No, well, most of the times we did it, and me and my friends talk about it, we would get out of class. So because I went to Catholic school, there would be services during the day and funerals even. Sometimes we'd get paid to be out of class, and then we would miss two, three hours of school, get paid 20 bucks, get some donuts, miss lunch.

That was really all we were doing. I used to just have to light the candles. Me and this other kid would come out and light all these candles. You did all that? Yeah. I always wanted to be the guy that puts them out with that bell, that little bell on the hook. Yeah, I did that too them out with that bell. The little bell on the hook. I did that shit too.

It's so bananas when you're in that room and you see those benches all laid out up to the pulpit. Like this is so crazy. It's like people figured out some way to make the bridge between physical evolution and mental evolution. Like there's this bridge between us not being monkeys anymore, but still we just want to get out of the barbarian behavior. We've got to figure out a way to get people to like have reverence for something all powerful and just control their behavior. We gotta slow down the chimp in us. Is that a monkey?

It looks like a monkey. Oh, it's a monkey statue? It's the feast of the chair of St. Peter. What is the statue? It's just a bronze statue of St. Peter? Is it a dark statue? I'm trying to bronze statue of St. Peter I guess it's a dark statue try to tell you

St. Peter was black truth there's a that's weird when we were in Charlottesville they had the black Israelites there

they were right out in front of the building they used to set up shop all the time in New York used to run into those dudes just wandered down the street I was told that because I'm Italian I'm not white I said oh yeah to set up shop all the time in New York. I used to run into those dudes, just wander down the street.

I was told that because I'm Italian, I'm not white. I said, whew. Oh, yeah. Dude told me that. I was like, thank you. Didn't you see True Romance? I know who you are. I did see that. I did see that. But yet, I'm certainly not black. But according to these black

Israelites, I am not white. So I'm okay. True Nation. Is that them I love how they dress I mean they take that whole pope shit to the next level fuck that man I want to be like he man master of the universe oh damn look at how they're dressing

look at how they're dressing they have shields and shit bro go to that make that picture bigger please make that picture bigger these are serious people they're dressing. They have shields and shit, bro. Make that picture bigger, please. Make that picture bigger. These are serious people. They're on the street. They're reading from the Bible. One guy has a sword.

This guy's got an axe. The other guy's got a pickaxe. He's going to go find gold. This is one of the craziest pictures if this is real. Is that real, Jamie? That can't be real. Go back to that, please. Jamie, go back to that, please, for a second. What did it say?

There was something in the text that went with it. Is that it? Yeah, there it is. What does it say? Passover 2012. I-S-U-P-K Passover from Wikipedia. That looks like a mixtape. What is that?

High Holy Day Passover in Harlem, New York, 2012. Oh my God. So that's the black Israelites at the High Holy Day Passover. Black Israelites who think they're a different kind of Jew. Like these so-called Jews. That looks like fun. I'll do that. It doesn't look bad.

It looks like fun until someone gets drunk and starts swinging that axe around. What do they got there? They're teaching white people stuff. They got these posters. 666. Preach on, brother. Okay. They dress cool, though.

Look at that outfit. All leather. Giant star, David. Dude has a sword. No big deal. Just two dudes walking around with a sword. They're in like a fucking, it looks like a Holiday Inn or something, right? Doesn't it look like some sort of banquet center?

When they have the sword? Show the picture of the sword. Where are they? Where the fuck is that going on? That seems like a very public place to have a sword, sir. What's that place you eat at and they all look like that? Where their horse jousting? Yeah, one of those medieval manor type places middle evil times medieval times yeah well i believe medieval

manor was a place like that in boston i think there's a few of those all over the i never went to one of those either that i i'm too scared of the people that go to those things oh yeah there is i thought they were closed i still don't want to go to it well isn't that renaissance fair thing going on right now yeah Yeah, that's... I'd rather go to that. That's hilarious. Yeah. Have you ever been to one?

It's kind of cool. I used to collect copper soldiers from those things. It's something fun. It's interesting. It was funny because one lady broke character, and she was complaining about her husband's medication. And the other lady said, I do not understand this medication that you speak of. She stayed in her.

She was like, bitch, we're here making believe. I don't want to hear about your husband complaining about his pills. Well, they've got him on this one thing, and I don't know what that's for, but then this other thing is supposed to counteract this medication. It's like, ma'am, I do not understand of this medication you speak of. For I am just a wench, and I await the prince. Bizarre.

Like, you're not supposed to break character. Yeah. And these people, like, really get into it. And then, I bet they get drunk and fuck each other. Yeah. Don't you think for sure this must be

a goddamn crazy person's orgy they all get together with their wacky outfits on bone each other in fake accents it's my neighbors

why not they fence in the backyard why not they look hot too go for it kids damn pretty people why not right why not why not why not right

why not why not put on a fucking like a pirates outfit like why not have you ever seen those pirate themed bars where they all have to dress up as pirates right and when they get off work

they still think they're pirates. Like, there's a whole show about it. I forget what the show is called. So, like, they get locked into that? Yeah, they stay in character. Oh, Jesus Christ. Like, what about when they go to home and they watch the TV? They're pirates sitting home watching Frasier.

So, like, when they talk to their Google Home thing, they're like, hey, Google, let me know where the ale is cold and the women are hot do you have a lot of home like Siri and Alexa's at your house I don't trust that asshole thing or is that asshole that you you can make Siri say Oh motherfucker motherfucker yeah you can make Siri say motherfucker yeah people think I was joking about that let me show you how to do that. Watch this, folks. Here we go. What is the definition... Here's the definition of mother?

Come on, you piece of shit. There's no need for that. Oh, the piece of shit. They changed it. Sorry. I'm sorry about that. What's the definition of mother? As a noun, it means a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth. Do you want to hear the next one?

Yes. As a verb, it means bring up a child with care and affection. Do you want to hear the next one? Yes. As a verb, it means bring up a child with care and affection. Do you want to hear the last one? Yes. As a verb, it means give birth to. Oh my god, Siri, you bitch.

You took it from me. You removed it. Apple, come on. It was funny. How did they leave it in there and then take it out? Dude, they took out the dead body one. Remember the first one? That's a crazy one.

Short for motherfucker. It would say as a, you know. Yeah. I bet Alexa still has it. I think I tweeted what it said. What exactly it said. Yeah, I did it. I did it the day you did it it took me a couple tries because i didn't say it right but it ended up doing it it says as a noun short for motherfucker

but it could be a verb as well right yeah if you're actually a motherfucker ask sir with mother means and it gives you the correct definition then it you, do you want to hear the next one? If you say yes, it says, as a noun, it means short for motherfucker. Yeah, I got it right. But it was weird to hear. Like, I heard it, and I was like, what? That's real? Like, imagine if that's, like, your mom, and she's, like, teaching a little kid how to use Siri.

Like, Mommy, how do I know what mommy is? Well, we can ask Siri, sweetie We can ask Siri what mother means? Okay Okay, let's do it Do you want to hear the next one? Okay As a noun short for motherfucker a little kids like what? Mommy, what did they say? Do you what a serious say if you ask if Santa's real or some shit like that?

Ooh. That's a good question. Oh. Is Santa real? I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that. I don't want you to get a lump of coal this year. Aww. Alexa tells you Anne shares a needle.

Siri, are you allowed to swear? I don't have the answer to that. Is there something else I can help you with? I just want to know if you stopped using curse words recently. I'm not sure I understand. Well, earlier in this week, I had asked you what mother means, and you gave me one definition, then you said, do you want to hear the next one? And you said, as a noun, it means short for motherfucker.

I just thought that was weird. That's not nice. Siri, you sound like a crazy person. Like I'm trying to talk to you about this issue that you and I are having about communication. And what do you say to me? You say that's not nice? Well, it's not nice for you to say motherfucker in front of that little three-year-old just learning how to talk. But, but.

Wow. This is the future. Here's some of the Google stuff I was telling you about. This is the future. Here's some of the Google stuff I was telling you about. This is the future. We're going to be having arguments with our digital devices like that. That's a crude like helper. Like a super crude helper. Right.

Like what Siri can do and not do. It's very crude. But this is just like the iPhone one. Right. Maybe. very crude but this is just like the iPhone one right they're gonna have thinking they're absolutely gonna have some sort of AI that can keep up with the conversation for sure that's gonna happen it's it's pretty crazy how much ahead I think Google and Alexa are ahead of Siri like there's terrible yeah I mean having both of the home pod on the Siri and the Alexa Echo or whatever, it's night and day difference.

What's better, Siri or Bixby? Bixby is a Samsung One. I think, well, Bixby is very new. I think Siri is better than that. But like Alexa, they've even improved Alexa so much where you sing like, hey, Alexa, sing me a love song. And there's a whole song that Alexa sings to you, and there's like 10 of these songs. Well, I think that Google has it down the best

with that Google Pixel 2 phone where you squeeze the sides and the Google Assistant comes on. And when the Google Assistant comes on, you can just ask it anything. And the Google Assistant is just better. Google's good. It just works better.

It's better. It finds your results better. It's not as clunky. It doesn't seem as weird. I think we're in this weird place right now with phones. It's like we're expecting things of phones that we don't even want or need and have never asked for before. We're looking for augmented reality, phones that are double as projectors.

You can project a fucking movie on a wall. I've seen those. They have phones that do that now. It's very interesting. I love paying with my phone. That's my new thing. Oh, I love that. It's so great.

I love Apple Pay. Your face, you use your face. Yeah. You pay for shit. Or Apple Watch. You don't have to do shit. Hey, what did you think? I didn't talk to you about this.

What did you think about the U.S. government telling us not to use Huawei phones? Because Huawei phones are made by the chinese and they're like don't trust the huawei phones yeah well i mean there might be something to it uh like like if it's a something that say you know like an iphone it sends messages to apple all the time of location and all that crap like that. So if it's like a foreign country that has the ability to track its people, you know, it's a little weird. I see why

they did it, but it's a shitty phone anyway. Who cares? Well, how dare you? Well, apparently they're in some sort of a dispute with Huawei about Iran. See if you can find that. Like something Huawei to be punished, something Iran.

Something about servers that they sold to Iran they're not supposed to sell. I don't know. Jamie will find the article. But then they were saying, we recommend you not using, that consumers not use their phones. And a bunch of tech guys that I was reading, I was reading a bunch of articles, and the tech guys were super skeptical. Because one of the things they were saying is like,

if anything is in there, we'll find it. Like you can't just say like they might be using these things as spy devices without any evidence. It says Huawei is under U.S. criminal investigation for illegal Iran sales. Here's what's next. The other theory by the super conspiracy theorists is that they're trying to

keep out the number three cell phone maker in the world from establishing a foothold in the U.S. market and economically strengthening the communist government over there, or pseudo-communist government. What are they now?

They're communists, but you can make money. I literally saw something. I stumbled across something, I think, on Instagram yesterday. It was just a post about Huawei and them being linked to the CCP, which is the communist party in China. Yeah. People are like, don't do it. It's too bad, dude, because they got this fucking phone.

That gives me an electro power. Which one? It's just the megapixels in the camera, right? That's what you... Listen, bitch, don't shoot down my dreams. I don't piss on your Yeezys. Yeah, you need to. You need to check him on these.

Is he wearing them right now? Huawei is... He took a day off of the Yeezys. Huawei has this... Mate Pro, Porsche Design RS, something RS. It's a crazy phone. It's got 500 gigabytes of storage. 500. 500 gigabytes of storage.

It's crazy. I think maybe even more than 500. It's got a 40 megapixel camera. It literally turns night into day when you take photos. It's like a four second aperture where it'll stay open. And you see the pictures and you're like, holy shit!

You see regular camera photos and then you see the photos with this camera. They're like, hands down, this is the best camera in cell phones today. Do you know how hard it would be to take that picture though? Oh yeah, super hard. You'd have to, like, tripod and all sorts of shit. Stand still for four seconds. Or you'd be all blurry and fucked up.

I don't know how that works. You do more than I do. You would have to really hold it steady, right? Like, sit it on something. Ready, go. You couldn't even click the button. You'd have to have a remote trigger. You'd fuck it up by even hitting the button.

Or maybe touching it, and then it'll give you a slight pause, and then it'll start. They might do that now, actually, but they don't typically do that. See if you can go to that. It's camera. Go to the Huawei... I think it's like the Mate 10 RF. Is that it? Yeah. Dude, this phone is the shit. I'm disgusted that it's a spy device, because I want one

so bad. So, I think... Is it, though, that good? I mean, have you looked at the reviews? No, it's probably terrible. The reviews are probably like, yeah, it's not as good as an iPhone camera. If I wanted to be honest with you, I like the fact that there's competition.

It makes me excited. You just like the Porsche wall thing. I like that too. I like Porsches, obviously. I like those cars. I like their engineering. They're German wizards. They know how to design shit in a really spectacular way. They make cool stuff. They make cool watches and shit.

But I think what's really, well, there's a bunch of things interesting to me about it. But what's interesting to me is when these cameras and these phones from these Android manufacturers are so good, it forces Apple to come with some next level shit too like this is a technology race unlike any other race like computers have even stalled out right like you get a new macbook do you even pay attention to what the fucking gigabytes are now no you know you remember the gigahertz were like the thing like you want oh i got 2.7. Should I pay more for the 3.2? Remember that?

Yeah. $300 more, $500 more for one point. Yeah. Remember they used to take those Celerons and overclock them? Yeah. You know, I mean, people would do anything to get to one, you know, 100 megahertz. What's like three gigahertz is like a good laptop, right? It's all about quad processors now.

Cores. Right now it's cores. But in the old days, you'd get like a Celeron 400. Multi-threading process. Multi-thread. Hyper-thread. When they hit 1 gigahertz, people were shitting their pants. Like, I can't believe we got a one gigahertz computer. This is madness.

Yeah, overclocking still, I don't think it pushes above five maybe. Remember overclocking? Dudes would go into the little spacers. What are those things called again? Jumpers. The jumpers and move them around and change things in the BIOS. Your fucking computer would be catching on fire and be running so hot. Yeah, that shit's real. I used to work at Gateway. and the BIOS. Your fucking computer would be catching on fire and be running so hot. Yeah.

That shit's real. I used to work at Gateway. That was always so fun because we always had the brand new computers like the day it came out. Like, oh, we have the new Pentium 2, you know? Mm-hmm.

And it was fun playing with computers that fast. Yeah, man. Celerons. That's what I just got from my Twitch channel. Celeron?

Badass computer, no. Oh, badass. Badass overclocked two SLI video cards. Woo! And this shit called M.2 storage, which is super fast, and it's crazy. Now, what company is this from? The company that made it is Origin PC. They put together the parts.

They gave me a pretty cool glass with my logo on it and all that kind of shit. There's LED lights in it. Someone's looking to waste some time. I got a Razer laptop. Yeah, that Razer laptop is like one of the closest things. So like build quality the way a MacBook feels. The metal frame and it's real tight tolerances and a good keyboard and shit. Yeah, it's a great computer.

It's powerful. I mean, I use it for virtual reality and it's got one of the best graphics cards you can buy. It's pretty sweet. I used to buy everything Apple. I used to just buy Apple laptops, Apple phones. But I like it that it's a question now. Like I told you that I started using that ThinkPad. I like that thing way better than a MacBook.

The keyboard is way more responsive. There's travel to the keys. Like it's easier to type. Like there's something about those little clickety-click keys that the new MacBooks have where you make more mistakes. You don't have a feel to them because you're not, you know, like, oh, yeah, that clicked. Oh, yeah, that clicked. But to a clumsy typer like me, I type way better on a keyboard that has some travel to it. Like you get some feel.

You get a feel of what you're doing and where the letters are. The new MacBook Pro is probably one of the worst versions of any MacBook Pro since they started making it. I hate the new MacBook Pro with a passion. And the dongle shit needs to stop. Like the other day I needed a USB port. I didn't. Hey, I forgot my dongle. There was no way for me to do anything that I needed to do.

It's the worst. It's the worst. USB-C is just not everywhere yet. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's a lot of things. You can charge your phone with USB-C. There's some things that you have that are old USB. And if you have them, you're like, oh.

Well, this is useless. I wish Apple would have an exchange program where you could go in and they'll take out your touch bar and that keyboard and just put in any keyboard you want. I just want a regular MacBook Pro keyboard on my laptop. But even the MacBook, think about this.

This ThinkPad, Jamie. The way the keys work, when you're typing on it, there's all this. Like this ThinkPad jammie, the way the keys work, like when you're typing on it, there's all this travel. They feel good. Like I can, like I put my finger on J and F when I'm typing. I can, they feel like they're pressing.

Press, press, press, press, press. It's not like a t-t-t-t-t-t-t. Like no travel doesn't give you like the same amount of feedback. And you got ports. Yeah. Ports galore. But feel how light it is. I know.

That's the crazy thing. That's nice. Yeah. I like that little light. It's sexy, really sexy. Great battery life too. Do you know what this processor is? Do you know what-

I have no idea. It's a Celeron 400. Dude. Dum, dum, dum. I can play quick on this, bro. So we're going to set up a seller on 400. Dude. I can play Quake on this, bro. So we're going to set up a LAN party here. We're trying to figure out the right way to do it. But we're going to set up a LAN party here.

What game, though? You're just doing Fortnite? Is that all you guys are doing? I've never even played it. I think he will be addicted to Fortnite in Underground more than anyone you know. I think I have a limited amount of time. So we go right back to Quake. If you like Quake,

you'll love this. But dude, this Quake Champions game, this Quake Online game looks so crazy good. And the fact that it's all web-based now. Come on, son. Want to waste some time? Come on over, man. Fuck some people up.

Bring some people into a room. You would be a championship gamer. No, I wouldn't. If you, if you got into it, if you got into it, you would be like one of the top gamers.

You'd be the Ninja. No, no. I'm not quite autistic enough to be at the top of the food chain. No, I'm just badass. Um, I don't know who he is.

Ninja. Is he the top guy? Will you say he's the top guy? He's one of my favorites to watch. He got Drake on. Yeah. I think, honestly, that video games at high levels, especially like Quake, it's deceptively intellectually challenging.

Like when they have these, they would do a lot of these one-on-one death matches, and they would be in a room, and they would both spawn at the same time then you have to run you have to have knowledge of the map and you also have to have knowledge of when certain items are going to respawn like if you steal the rocket launcher another rocket launcher will respawn in like i forget how many seconds like 30 seconds so they would run the map the guy, collect the extra rocket launcher before he can, and keep him unarmed and keep killing him over and over again. And after you kill him a certain amount of time, the game's over. And the guys who were really good at that were just,

they're just really smart. They're really smart, really fast Twitch, super tuned into the game, just like locked in, and then they'd study those maps. And then they also study like movement. They could do crazy shit like rocket jump onto people just locked in, and then they'd study those maps. And then they also study movement. They could do crazy shit like rocket jump onto people and do things like get to areas of the map just because they understood how to hop.

They could do it in a way that other people don't know how to do. The guy ninja he's talking about is what you're describing. So then the game Fortnite, you have to build these crazy... Is this Fortnite? Yeah, you find mats, which are materials, and you build forts. So it becomes these one-on-one matches if you're playing solo where you have to literally build advantage.

You have to gain advantage. Why are there bricks flying in the air? He's gaining the materials, so you're mining materials. And then that becomes what you're talking about. You have only a couple guns you can choose from. How did this build this bridge here? He's doing it that fast.

He knows there's a guy over there, and he's going to attack right now. Oh, wow. It's his decision on how he does it, though. This map never changes, really. They just sort of change it after six months. So he's breaking through the building to get in there? Yeah, you can break through and then build it back up. I've got a problem with this game.

Why? Because it's too addictive. I know. I'm addicted just watching this. The addiction is the colors, too. This game has got some crazy colors, which is like a crack for your brain. Yeah. This is amazing.

And it's weird because grown adults just fall in love with this overnight. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, I was joking around about video games that I'm not autistic enough. I think the best guys are going to be considered like chess players. I think it's like kind of the same thing. It's just chess is traditionally worshipped as this intellectual game, right? But I think that a lot of video games like StarCraft for sure is like this really high-level strategy game.

You're doing things and you're thinking on multiple levels about different parts of the board and different things that you're moving around. It seems to me to be physically dynamic, too, because things are moving quick. You're not in control of what your opponent is doing while he's doing it. It's all happening in one time. You're trying to think your way through things and

put stuff here, move stuff there. We under-appreciate them because when they first started out, they were frivolous, like Pong and stuff like that. Do-doot, do-doot, do-doot, do-doot, do-doot. So we think of them as being dumb. But they're so sophisticated now, and kids are making fucking shitloads of money.

Who was saying that? That's him. He was saying that your kid, like, your parents should probably encourage their kids to play e-games because there's fucking money in it now. He's right. You know Johnny Carson's old studio. You've been there probably a million times. Jay Leno's old studio.

It's now Blizzard Arena right down the street from me. We got invited to go there. If you want to go, check it out. I would love to go too. It's right down the street from me. That's crazy. But every time I drive by, it's just crowds of people like a sports game. Okay, now

I want you to put on Quake Champions. Goodness gracious. What do you mean, goodness gracious? What is this, Jay? The game is called Overwatch. I'm trying to find an arena thing so you can see what it looks like. Just put on Quake. I don't want to see any more of this

shit. I want to show you guys what the fuck's good. Quake Arena. Quake Championships, whatever they call it. Oh, you're so funny. Even on the site it says something about Quake and Joe Rogan. Dork it out on Quake. Watch this. Here we go, son.

What is this? Is that an ad first whoa this is the gameplay dude come on see this is way better look at this this is old school

yeah this reminds I want to play this because it reminds me of the old I mean look at the graphics in this fucking thing god damn graphics are good now

I mean it's just I wonder if it's just... I wonder if that's bad for your eyes. Or good for your eyes. Imagine if they found out that video games actually improve eyesight. Remember when we grew up, they were told us not to sit close to the TV, but now we are sold VR units where we're the closest to a TV possibly made.

What happened to that? It's true. Look at this motherfucker. Is that old bullshit? Dude, this game looks perfect. Is this unreal? This is still Quake. Yeah.

Brillantless. Dun, dun, dun. See that rocket jump? Yeah. Come on, son. What was the one? Was it Quake, the one that they had the space one where you just like trampolined over? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that was Quake 2. They had that. They had bouncy little things everywhere i came along at quake 2 um i didn't play a whole lot of quake 1 but quake 1 was really fun i played a little bit of it it was really fun quake 1 was um these like kind of blocky looking dudes with helmets on. They run around shooting each other. But it was real fast paced. Unrealistically fast paced.

That's one of the things that some people like about... What was that Half-Life game that people would play? It was based off of Half-Life and it was like an army game. Counter-Strike. Counter-Strike, yeah. That's the most popular game probably still right now. Yeah, people love that game. I used to love that game. One of the things they loved about it was that it had more realistic physics.

Oh, shit. How many times would your phone ring if you take a picture of the screen? Oh, how many times? How many of your photos are screenshots? Unnecessary screenshots over a mount? Yeah, a lot of them. What was I just saying? Half-Life turned into Army.

So if you go to Quake 1, what is this game you want? Counter-Strike. Wow, look at the graphics. Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's still the same levels as back in whatever, 19. They just have made them HD, which is better.

This looks incredible. I want to play this. Oh my God, this looks good. We've got to get you guys computers. Oh, that guy just got headshotted. Dead. Wake up with a knife. Trying to find a gun.

Here we go. Okay, go to Quake 1. What's that? I'm just on Twitch looking. Oh, this is a guy playing on Twitch? That's great. Oh, wow. That was Summit playing live.

They have a Quake 1 game live now? Oh, yeah. Every game you can watch. Oh, that's crazy. If you want to see anything, if you're curious about a new game, you just go to Twitch and watch someone play it. This looks like a dude waiting for someone to play him. Probably.

I like to go to sleep watching a girl play some boring ass game. Look at the, like there's people out there that are still into this. This is how crazy Quake 1 was. The graphics didn't even matter because the game, it was all dark and moody. And the gameplay was so fun that a lot of people even stayed with it after Quake 2. And then Quake 3 became like sort of fast paced like that. See if you can find a video of people playing it. Here's a comparison of the old one versus the updated

graphics. Yeah. It was super blocky. What was the game that there was a mod, but you're in the bathroom, and you're hiding in toilets and on toilet paper rolls? I feel like I've already asked this question a million times. I know what you're talking about.

I think there was Rocket Arena. There was like a Rocket Arena map where you could play Quake in a bathroom. That was my favorite. I would spend days on that. Well, there was a bunch of maps that people would create. And there was even map-making software. And you could make a map, and guys were always doing it. It was a really common thing.

There was a Joe Rogan level, remember? Somebody made that. Oh, with the JRE? Yeah. With the logo? I think so. Yeah. I think someone did do something like that.

I remember that. But I remember they would do all these new maps would come out, and we would play matches on these new maps. You'd kick my ass until 5 in the morning. Dude. You're like, no, don't get off yet. I had a real problem i have a real problem with games you know i'm doing my best uh do my best to avoid them but we're gonna

indulge a little bit here virtual reality man that's the new that's my that's my favorite man i can't get an i love it and now you could play like uh was it doom or a first person shooter forget which one it is doom's on on there and Fallout 4 is on there. Yeah, you played Doom in VR. Can you show me that? Show me Doom in VR. Which Doom is it? Is it the more recent Doom?

I think it's the original. The original Doom? Isn't it? Probably. I think so. It's probably like the CPU power probably isn't able to keep up. I want to upgrade my HTC. This is not the original one.

It's an upgraded version of it. Oh, is it? Oh, just upgraded graphics. This does not look like... This is not the original one. It's an upgraded version of it. Oh, just upgraded graphics. This does not look like... This looks like the newer one. They took the original Doom and remade it. Remastered, if you will, is what it's called. That's crazy. This is it? I actually bought this game.

So this is Doom VFR, which is a special VR version, and I think they might have some levels. I don't know if it's the actual full game from start to finish. Oh my god. Dude, but when you said it's the original game, I thought you meant like with the original graphics. These graphics are really good. Yeah. This will fuck your life up.

I could have brought it. Dude, this right here could fuck your life up. This looks way too fun. Do you have virtual reality at your house? No. Oh, you got to get virtual reality. No, I go running. I work out. Do things.

No, you don't need to do that anymore, man. That scared the shit out of me. That legitimately scared the shit out of me. What? Watching that video, the Doom, because I was like, that could ruin my life. Dude, the future's liposuction. Ask Kanye, man. Liposuction, opioids, and playing virtual reality Doom until I shrivel up.

I'm trying to make 130. That's how you do it. Just play video games all day. You never stay keto. Yeah. What games are you playing? I just got God of War, the new God of War. That looks awesome.

You want to see graphics. That's amazing graphics. That looks amazing. I saw it only in the commercial, but it looks incredible. Yeah, and that's a real fun game. I tried to get into Far Cry 5, but I like the cult aspect.

At first, I told Duncan Trussell, you have to buy this immediately. There it is. This is a real walkthrough gameplay. Oh my god. Yeah, that's gameplay. This is gameplay? Yeah. Dude, look at the steam coming out of his mouth. This is incredible. Yeah, and like he said, no load screens.

That's just the game. Dude, this is nuts. Yeah. Wow. So it's all third person, or do you do it first person? Keep this going, Jamie. I was trying to show you some cool shit on it. Jamie's real clicky today, notice? He's clicky. It's that Adderall, dude. Don't clicky today notice. He's taking is that Adderall dude. Let's go crazy some time. He's going crazy. Yeah, here's hunting

Oh, yeah Oh my god. This is nuts. Yeah, do that again But no all the way all the way to the beginning I want to see like how they set it up all the way to the beginning. I want to see how they set it up. I'm just trying to help him out. I'm not actually shooting it. Oh, good. Are they shooting it in the head? He's trying to. Why would you do that? No, no, no.

There it goes. There you go. Good. Good. Thanks, Tate Fletcher. This is real clunky looking. Like, it doesn't look real, but it looks way realer than anything I've ever seen before. So this is... Yeah, check this out. This is actually, like, this is you battling someone.

Wow. Guys trying to kill you with that big rock. Yeah. It's... This is... Games are amazing nowadays. Look at the shadows and everything it's incredible yeah but what i'm saying is that like i mean this obviously looks amazing but in how many years do you think it'll be indistinguishable from real life

10 20 20 for sure right in 20 years i don't know you don't think so i'm sort of skeptical on this a little bit because i feel like the bar keeps getting moved at five years, ten years, every couple years. We get close. I'm so skeptic over here. We get close, but it's still like, when did you get your first Vive? It's been four or five years. I've had the Oculus Rift since beta testing, so I've always had it. And they just had a big VR LA thing this weekend, and I didn't hear anyone sharing anything that was like mind-blowing experiences that are making

everyone go out and spend $2,000 on a VR rig. Well, I think right now what's happening is the infancy of VR in a commercial level. That's what we're seeing. I mean, it's like if you go back to the early day Atari boxes and then compare them to a new Xbox. I mean, I think that's what we're

looking at. You're just saying that it's not happening quick. It's also those are gigantic gaps, but you could look at it from a different perspective and be like, it's still just playing with a remote control on a TV with some computer power behind it. The virtual stuff is

also sometimes connected to those three dimensional what are those things? How do they call them? They don't call it a treadmill. What do they call it? Omnitrack, Omnisphere track kind of thing. Yeah, that thing.

Have you seen that thing? Yeah. You're strapped into the center of this thing, and it moves around, so you can walk through these 3D environments. But you know what? I was going to say, just 20 years ago, what kind of bullshit-ass graphics were we looking at? And now look at what we're looking at now.

20 years from now, they'll probably have it like, at the very least, it'll be like watching Moana or something. That's right. I just still feel like it'll still feel super fake. We'll still know that this is still a fake world and it's not going to ever feel real. I get lost in it pretty,

I think it's easy to get lost in it. And nowadays they have big rooms, almost like size of Chuck E. Cheese, where you rent it out. And so you don't need a treadmill because you're actually going through obstacles that feel real. What if they did it in a way where it's like it's not realistic, but it's really good? Like what if they did Despicable Me? Like you were in Despicable Me.

You know the animated movie with the... What's the dude's name? The fucking bad guy? I know who you're talking about. God damn it. Steve Carell. Yes. I forget the bad guy in the character's name, though.

Is it Gru? Something like that. Is that his name? I would never know, honestly. I don't have any kids. I have kids. But the graphics are incredible. It's beautiful.

I mean, it's stunning to look at. You're like, wow, they did an amazing job with this. But it's obviously not real. You know what I'm saying? You'd want it to be like that or extra. Not just a simulation of real life. You'd want to be able to fly or jump over fucking buildings.

You've done the Simpsons game, right? In Universal? Fucking incredible, right? So good. The ride. Yeah, I say game. That ride good. The ride. The ride. Yeah. Well, yeah, I said game. That ride where it's this huge video screen

and your car moves up and down and they're just taking you through this crazy thing that you're seeing in front of you. And it's probably as thrilling as any actual ride where you're really moving, right? It was the Back to the Future ride, though, before that. I didn't see that one. Have you guys done 4D yet?

The 4D theaters out here? No. That's what you should try, man. That's where the whole thing moves with the movie. There's also smell. There's also mist and water. Yeah, it looked like a pukey kind of... Is it like that Star Wars ride, Star Tours at Disneyland?

You ever done that? Yeah, it's kind of like that. But each seat moves. And you could turn off, like, I don't want water. I don't want fart. There should be. There will be something like that. I feel like, I was trying to look it up right now, but I remember Steven Spielberg talking about

developing a room-type theater process where maybe you're not wearing anything, but things are being projected into the room you're in and you're experiencing the movie like that like maybe like avatar in the future would be like 25 people jump into the room and it starts playing and you're experiencing it happen around you versus wearing a headset and watching something happen and i don't think they've developed it yet but i have seen some crazy holograms and holograms man some big like globe theaters happening in like vegas i think i just told

you about that yeah i'm doing something weird yeah i think group things are going to be really interesting in that too like everybody experiencing that in a group the same way you experience like a movie in a group you know it's entirely possible that they'll develop something like that right where they'll have warehouses where people meet up and everybody goes into these virtual worlds together. Like you go on missions and shit. Yeah. Just wear something that's tuned in to the Wi-Fi signal of the building and you're wearing like a lightweight helmet,

like a bicycle helmet with, you know, it straps on. So it's not something that's really cumbersome, but, you know, it has enough battery life and enough juice to get you through a one-hour game or a three-hour game or whatever it is. They have that, right? They have VR experiences where you can go with your whole family and you're all in the game wearing these things and you're in the game together. Damn.

Yeah. What kind of games? Like, virtual reality games. Like, they have the zombie game. Oh, so you're running from zombies in a warehouse yeah yeah i think uh holy shit or a link from uh good mythical morning he was talking about how he brought the family and he was getting chased by zombies and uh i had heard that they were thinking about doing something like that now that you think of it but i didn't i didn't know there was actually a place now yeah and we ever talked about this before

i feel like we talked about. A place in Utah, right? Right. I'm looking it up right now. Yeah. But I think that's the future. I think the future of this is like you go to a football field and it's like a virtual game is being played. You know?

But then you got to stop people from like physically assaulting each other in the virtual world. Yeah. You have to have a babysitter anyways. Oh, right. Now I remember this. You get off an elevator. The future of virtual reality. Time magazine said that.

The Void. Unless they have a Ghostbusters experience and a couple other ones. Yeah, look at that. Wow. This is incredible. And that's cool because you're in the game with your friend. You could see your friends. You're in a room with them, essentially.

Yeah. So now you're wandering around. I wonder what they're seeing this we get to see what they're seeing this is gonna blow their minds says the verge wow fuck yeah it's already here then so this is one place that has this i believe so yeah i don't there's a place here right across the street from the grove that's like the imax vr thing but i don't think it's it's definitely not this but they might have some similar i definitely have way too many of these stories in my head i don't know how many of them are real or how many of them did i make that up well when i went to the did the house of comedy in the mall of america across from it it's great great huge uh but they have like they're like across from it, they have a virtual reality arcade

where one is skydiving, where you're hanging. Well, you know, that was the whole thing. You could tell that's going to become more popular, kind of like whatever those arcades are everywhere. They have one of these in Anaheim. Yeah. They do? That's what it says.

Yes. Oh, shit. Downtown Disney. Oh, shit. Where you do the Star Wars experience. Oh, is that new yeah oh wow i did um soaring over the world you ever do that that's at disneyland it's a giant screen i've only been to disney once and it was bad you sit down in your chair and you get lifted up and

it takes you towards this giant screen and on this giant screen, you soar all over these different parts of the world. Oh, cool. Dude, it's fucking crazy. The ride is amazing. You fly over all these different spots and you experience all this as if you're soaring and you feel like a light breeze

and there's different smells that they send your way. The older one was soaring over California. You would look at this. It bears like, what are you doing, bitch? You would soar over these orange trees.

That bear looks so fake by the way. Right. Oh yeah. That's Coca-Cola bears. Get out of here, bitch. Um, but the other one was soaring over California,

which was pretty amazing too. And you, you'd soar over the oranges. You'd smell them. You'd smell the water from the beach and you, uh, things like that'll happen. Like the water will splash in front of your face.

Then all of a sudden you'll be in Paris or you'll be somewhere else. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. I have that. That's, I think, Terry talked about this on here. I,

uh, walk the plank. I can't remember. I said it on Joe, on your podcaster. Uh, it's a real piece of wood and I have like it unbalanced wood where I have something underneath it. So it on your podcast. It's a real piece of wood, and I have unbalanced wood where I have something underneath it so it kind of rocks

if you're standing on it. So you go up in this elevator in Virtual Reality Road, and I have a fan that I turn on right when the elevator door opens. This is it right here? Yeah, and you feel like you're walking on the side of a building like on this plank, and I have my board kind of rocky. So, yeah, I guess she does too. And I can't do it.

I get halfway through it. I, like, shit myself. And what's funny is I pushed my girlfriend off the board. She was, like, freaking out. And I just, like, gave her a little nudge. And she goes, ah! In the game, if you fall off You fall down. Oh my god

No, this is crazy This is a new thing. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's you know, this is for the vibe I vibe Yeah, they have a new vibe out. I need to get it which better and stuff. And supposedly they have a wireless adapter so you don't have all the cables anymore coming soon, I think. They have the most addictive archery game ever. I have that. Where those little monsters are trying to attack the castle. Have you played

pool? When you shoot arrows at them? Virtual pool? Virtual pool is cool too. Is it? Yeah. Because you have like, you know, you have controllers and you can like, it's pretty realistic. Or you could play pool. Yeah, but if you, like, you know, you have controllers, and you can, like, it's pretty realistic. Or you could play pool. Yeah, but. If you could only play virtual pool, regular pool would be so fucking amazing.

Yeah, if you don't have the space. It's like, oh, my God, it's a real table. Look at the cloth. I can feel it. Look, I can watch the balls click together. They're real. They're real in front of me. Like, well, I'd rather have a controller that pretends it's my finger than a controller that pretends it's a stick.

Yeah, but you could also be playing on the moon. That's a good point. You could be playing on the moon. And in your tiny little apartment where you don't have space for a table. Yeah. That's true, too. With naked chicks. Yeah.

There's video games you could play, too, on your phone, but I've never even thought about it. You know Kate Quigley? Kate Quigley's in, you know Kate Quigley she's in a uh virtual reality porn oh boy she's not naked in it she's sitting there but she's getting molested by a naked girl and it's weird because when you're in the virtual world you're kate quigley whoa you are her yeah jesus it's so weird is that a sad gig yeah oh good for her that's a

virtual porn it's gotta be a big market yeah it's not as good as I was hoping for no yeah what's weird about it

I just like in your head you think it's gonna be like oh this is realistic I am this is gonna make masturbating way a bit better. But it's still clunky. Because all the companies that make virtual reality porn, they're not making, like, perfect masterpieces.

They're still filming it sloppy and edited sloppy. God damn it. For the most part. I mean, unless, I haven't seen all of it, but. This is just a setup for Brian's new career as a porn director in virtual reality. These people don't know what the fuck they're doing. Let me show you how it's done. Did you do the Avatar one, too?

No, I did not. Is that a recent one? Yeah, Disney World. Avatar just opened. Oh, that's Disney World. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That must be amazing. That's the real Disney.

They're going to do some crazy giant Star Wars thing out here, right? That's going to be awesome. Yeah, man. It's just a matter of time until there's going to be something like that at a consumer level. Like the Avatar game. That seems pretty doable. Maybe. Let's go with maybe.

I just have this little cynical view on it, just like maybe. Super cynical. Super cynical, Jamie. Yeah. Don't you think? Let's go with maybe. I just have this little cynical view on it, just like maybe. Super cynical. Super cynical, Jamie. Yeah. I like VR chat. That's my favorite thing in the whole entire world right now. Talking to people in VR? Yeah.

It reminds me of the old days of the internet. Like when, I don't know, what would it be? Message boards first came out or something. It's just like the wild west right now. Whoa, this is crazy and you could be anyone like i'm wendy and you can go to a wendy's in there and all the wendy's characters together uh look there's seaman pikachu so people just get together in these rooms to hang out together talk there's the musicians that will just sit there and play songs for you

but dressed up as uh and are you talking in your voice? Yeah, it's you. But some people use voice changers and stuff like that. Some people just, uh, hello, my name is Macy.

A lot of racist people on there. Of course. If you leave people alone, they just become racist. You give them notes, those schooling. Do you know the way? And put them inside of a video game with no repercussions

for their actions? That's the internet. Especially if you could be like a little girl and say terrible N words, you know, a little, uh, blonde girl on the screen. Meanwhile,

you're a 40 year old man from the Bronx. Did you notice that? Probably didn't check it, but the Instagram update yesterday said something about they're blocking words from bullies. Bullies. Something like that.

Well, I wonder what, how they're deciding. People are fucking assholes with that, man. They get assholes with the, being mean to people online.

It's a new toy. We don't know how to do it yet. And it's also revealing a lot of people that you didn't know. Like a lot of people that you never got in contact with they're just really shitty people mean I'm only mean to companies like I've switched to my

online bullying to only talking about bad services service at like restaurants or delivery services that's funny well if it's warranted yeah that's what I say. But people get mad at me for, like, when I post those things.

I posted something the other day at this chicken place. They burnt everything they sent me. Like, everything. Like, the corn on the cob was black. The chicken was black. I had to throw it away, and I was late, too. Did you think maybe the chef and the lady working at the counter were out there boning?

They weren't paying attention to your chicken. It's probably some 14-year-old kid. They were getting their freak on. Oh, probably. You know what I mean? Yeah, probably some kid who wasn't paying attention. Right. I just had a good fantasy

of what was really happening. It was fun. I fucked in a refrigerator of a restaurant. Hey. Hula hands. Easy, fella. I dated a girl who worked at a newport creamery with me what's that like a like a cold stone ice cream place that served hamburgers yeah who's that you're not me if it's me this fucking phone i've uh got a phone that for

whatever reason turns itself on to ring all the time. Yeah. Like, even when I don't, it turns itself on to ring. It's done it, like, twice. You know what? I think it's this case, this leather Apple case. I think it's a piece of shit. Look at your volume buttons.

Look at mine. They're sunk in the middle. I've only had this, like, for a week, and it's already falling apart. And not enjoying it. And it overheats your phone, I think, because of the leather. There's no way for the air to get out, so my shit's running slower than it should. You know what I did the other day? I put a battery pack on this like a madman.

Yeah. Put one of them thick-ass battery packs on it. I felt like a superhero. I could just go all day. Why don't you have it on now? Because I took it off because I feel like I was relying on it too much. I should just charge it at night. I'm using my phone less and less after my trip to Hawaii because my phone broke.

I dropped it the first day there, and I had to order a new one. But, I mean, mine just stopped working. Oh, the whole thing. Yeah, dude, it would just randomly call people. I would hold up my contacts, and it would just randomly call people i would hold up i would hold up like my uh contacts and it would just start calling people and then i would hang up and it would start calling another person now hang up and start and i was showing people i was like my friend john dudley i was like watch this watch what it's doing and then i'd hang up and do that again i was like what the

fuck i just dropped it and just went haywire that's crazy yeah i broke it and so uh when i got a new one for three days i wasn't doing anything so for three days waiting for my phone to come i didn't use any apps any nothing and i felt better i felt better but you're in hawaii yeah yeah well that's if you're in van nye's but as soon as i got the phone back again like hmm let me check instagram anybody put any cool pictures of cars up if technology is so like that, then why are we still so scared of AI? If we could just fucking smack it in a break. That's a silly way to look at it.

I know. I'm just saying. We also have nuclear bombs, Jamie. That's technology, too. Remember that argument you got in? No, I know. I said it was silly. I started off by saying it was a silly idea.

Someone smoked too much weed. Doo-dah. Doo-dah. Or not enough. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm, doo-dah. Or not enough. We should be worried, don't you think? If Elon Musk thinks we should be worried? He's like in the business of that, though. Of worrying people?

No, no, no. But I mean of technology. Yeah. Well, also, yeah. I think he is. Not 100%. No, not 100%. But like that's his business.

35%. It's the future of all technology he's he's the one figuring out the problems he's the one here to save us from all this shit that's his business that he created all those teslas got recalled i mean did you saw that right like 130 000 model s's got recalled because their steering column was fucked up or something is that what happened i don't know exact problem but but a lot of them. I remember seeing something. How crazy is it Ford canceled all their cars? Brian Callen loves his. He fucking loves it.

Yeah, Ford decided to stop making cars except the motherfucking Mustang, America. And SUVs, I think. Well, their SUVs are awesome. They make that Lincoln Town... What is it? I'm good. Why'd they make it? That Lincoln Navigator, this new Navigator.

It's a fucking incredible car. It's incredible. It's like they saw all these other cars like that luxury SUV family wagon market is a weird market. Like there's Range Rovers and there's a bunch of Mercedes SUVs and BMW SUVs. But this is like the first other than the Cadillac Escalade, kind of, but this is like another level, like super high tech family luxury sled that hauls ass. It's pretty dope, dude. I watched some of the videos on it, how they make these things and like all the different features that they have in them. Huge screens now, everything has giant screens.

Like a lot of these cars now they don't have a dashboard they just have a screen and you know you could you could customize it in different ways yeah mine's a fake screen or it's like a virtual screen yeah virtual gauges right yeah it comes on it's like weird man it's crazy it's weird it's weird to see i got a video we should watch this coming up from the Google I.O. thing. It might contradict what we were just talking about. It says, no joke, Google Assistant will start making phone calls to small

businesses to make appointments on your behalf. It's called Google Duplex. The AI caller even adds ums and hmms. Oh, Jesus. Hello, how can I help you? Hi, I'm calling to book a look-and-care cut for our client. I'm looking for something on May 3rd. It's not a real voice. Oh, Jesus. That's not a real voice.

That's a fake voice. They got alms in there? o'clock 10 a.m is fine okay what's her first name the first name is lisa okay perfect so i will see lisa at 10 o'clock on may 3rd okay great thanks great have a great day bye that's awesome i love that all right google you freak me out yeah okay so now take it back that's cool see I think we just learned something I think we're gonna be having conversations with those things it's gonna be like that movie with Joaquin

yeah Joaquin Phoenix that's her that is her look man it's just a matter of time I don't know how much time but it's definitely

20 years in 20 years you're gonna have people calling you you're gonna have people calling you you're gonna have me calling you i'm gonna call you and say some goofy shit it's not even gonna be me i'm gonna call you up and go dude what are you doing right now let's come on fuck sleep let's go do something let's get in the car let's go drive let's just go drive to joshua tree right now and do mushrooms fuck it you don't have any kids and you you'd be like, okay, I'll be by your house

in 20 minutes. And you'd be out there waiting while I'm home sleeping. Well, it is weird when you talk to like, you know, like you call up

Apple or something like that and you have the automated assistant and they have the fake typewriter sounds like, oh, let me try. I hate that. It makes me mad.

It makes me mad. Do they still do that? Yeah. Oh yeah. I heard it the other day. I can't remember the, oh my God, that's so crazy. Let me mad. It makes me mad. Do they still do that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I heard it the other day. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. Let me check.

I hate it. That's right. Why don't you just take that out and just be fast? Let me hear some of that, Jamie. Let me hear some of that fake typewriter sound. That's hilarious. I forgot they do that. Yeah, Apple does that.

Ugh. It's so clunky, too. Sounds shitty. I just wish Apple had more options. You know, like, I get that they only want to have one phone, and a few different versions of it, rather. You know, they have a small one, they have the big one, the middle-sized one.

...from Canada Revenue Agency. The reason why we are trying to get in touch with you is just to notify you scammer, a tax scammer. But what Brian said was that when you call Apple, they would have a fake typewriter sound in the background. But I did get scammed by that text scammer. You got scammed by that guy? That was the one I was talking about earlier. That's hilarious.

But they didn't really get you. No, I knew right away. You got knocked on. I did tell my accountant. He goes, yeah, they don't do that. That's what I thought. You need to contact me with your whereabouts right now. Who's hearing that going, what?

What? I got to contact you. Hold on. Hang on. I'm in Walmart right now. Let me get to my car. Hello? I'm calling you back about the tax thing.

Oh, we are so lucky that you have contacted me at this moment for dangers in the air, sir. Fake typewriter noise. Did you see Chris Tillich in a war with those Logan guys? I only know about it because Young Jamie. Young Jamie informed me that it might have been one of the most epic verbal

battles. Chris is so funny, man. He owned them so hard. And to the point where whatever the guy's name is, is like is like oh he's making fun of a young kid or something like that like he calls himself like a younger like or he calls him an old man like this old man making fun of a young whippersnapper yeah young people always like to point that out yeah you're older yeah they think it's hilarious as if because they're

so terrified of getting old yeah like everybody is everybody is. So, like, there's this thing where someone will make fun of you. Yeah, look at you, bro. Look at you, bro. You're fucking 36 years old. Like, yeah? What does that mean? It's almost over, bro. 659,000 likes.

He said, at least when my career dies, you can film it and put it on YouTube. Remember the suicide force? And then why does Logan Paul have... He's responding to his... Oh, I'm laughing because now I know why your comedy career took a dive. Oh, Jesus, did he get owned? Yeah. And so then Chris says to him that.

Yeah. At least when my career dies, you can film it and put it on YouTube. That has 658,000 likes? Yeah. More than Trump is. Any tweet Trump's ever had. Chris D'Elia, you need to run for president.

You know how strong that is? You know how strong that response is? That's like the strongest response I've ever seen. Look at this. Follow up then. This is Logan's response to that.

Say, but not gonna lie, this single tweet is funnier than your entire Netflix special. Thanks. How does it feel to have your name finally attached to something funny?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my God. Oh my God. I don't know what's worse, being the shunned vlogger or being the 38-year-old comedian arguing with the shunned vlogger or being the 38 year old comedian arguing with the shunned vlogger on Twitter

ask your fans to have their moms read this tweet out loud to them see what they think oh my god that's good oh my god he's the wrong guy to fuck with he'll do this all day old people roasting me greatest thing on planet earth how about this you're my son tag your fucking daddy i'm your fucking daddy

oh what's the thing that he deleted oh that's hilarious damn powerful crystal yeah i fucking love it hard in the paint Chris a funny dude man dude his Instagram stories are some of my favorites anything Chris does is pretty fucking funny so far you've called me daddy

and admitted to watching my entire comedy special are you trying to burn me or fuck me okay that's enough alright I get it Entire comedy special. Are you trying to burn me or fuck me? Okay, that's enough. All right. I get it.

He's hilarious. I don't know why you would try to fight a professional comedian on Twitter. Because he thinks he's a comedian. A guy like Chris who loves that kind of shit. He loves that kind of stuff. Who doesn't? Yeah. Well, he's like an artist with that kind of stuff. Like perfectly not aggressive.

It's like everything about it. It's very smooth. It's very good. Yeah, it's like the old days. It's very good. Owning people on the internet. That was a very good one. People are so weird.

They really are. I'm just wondering what's going to be the next thing that people, you know, like Instagram seems to be like a, that's a platform people like. They're like pictures and text behind the pictures. But like what is going to be the next thing? Is it going to be some sort of augmented thing, some virtual thing or some goggles thing? It's going to be something. It's going to be something in another space other than just your phone. I really think that there's going to come a time

where the same amount of time that people spend on social media, they're going to spend in some sort of an augmented state. You'll be able to wear these things for work because they help you pull things up. So people just accept, I have to have my goggles. Everybody wears goggles at a certain point in time because it's just so much cooler. It adjusts for vision. It gives you perfect vision.

That Black Mirror episode about the DVR, where everyone can record. Yes. I mean, so many other Black Mirror things have sort of been coming true. That seems like the most realistic one that might happen, I think. Recording memories? Yeah, probably someday. I think they're close i saw an article recently they're close to being able to either record your dreams and play them back

for you or reinterpret them after you're awake but i think it's record them as you're sleeping and you can kind of find out what you were maybe re-watch it or something i hope not what if that shit's in high def what if you're like falling off buildings in high def? Demons are barking at you. High def. No. I had a... Do you ever out of nowhere just have a dream?

You're like embarrassed that you even thought that even though you had no control of it? A lot of them. Theoretically, recording dreams is possible. Scientists are trying. Discover Magazine from March 1st. Of course it is. They're just going to figure out how to get in the door. Eventually, if people survive, they're going to have, with every generation, a greater and greater understanding of how to manipulate things around them.

It's just what people strive for. understanding of how to manipulate things around them it's just that's what people strive for strive for manipulating the environment manipulating you know electrical currents manipulating it's concrete moving things around shaping things we just keep getting better and better and better at it of course we're going to keep getting better and better at it technologically they're going to have some crazy shit, man. And we're going to wonder why we did it. We're going to all be stuck in some strange, weird, matrix-like environment. We already are.

It seems like it easily could be happening. Not necessarily like right now, but on the way to that. Like, what's the logical conclusion? I mean, does anybody believe that people at this point are going to back up? That they're going to go, hey, you know what? This technology is just getting too much into our lives. We went to a restaurant last night. Dad was on his phone. This kid's got a 12-inch iPad propped up in front of him.

The other kid on the other side of the table has a 12-inch iPad propped up in front of him, and they're just watching three different things, and no one's talking to each other and they're there at a sushi joint Wow and you're like wow this is what people do they get together they put a show on in front of the kid here you go and they just the entire time not even like the parents are done they want to talk and can I use your phone yeah here go ahead and use my phone. Play a game.

The kid's playing the game. Somebody's talking to somebody. No, nobody's talking to anybody. Everybody's looking at an electronic device. You go to a public place and they sit down and they're not interacting with each other. It is super normal, man. If you look around, it's super normal. Super normal.

Weird. We're going to wonder about that in a few years. We're going to wonder, like, how did they let that in? How did they let this, like, I was watching these little kids. I was like, okay, I don't want to be a judgy parent. But I'm just looking at it like a human. How much less time are they spending talking to people now? How many less awkward moments at the dinner table you had a workout just controlling

your temper or controlling your emotions or controlling the way you interact with people or trying to be nicer about some of the ways you say things and learning to get that the only way people learn about that stuff is at a dinner table right talking to each other that's part of like how people learn to communicate with each other sitting down at dinner right all of a sudden everybody's like watching a screen how much less time are we spending talking like how much shittier are people going to be if they continue doing that at talking to real people and is that an issue uh i think it is i think people don't have as strong as compassion with each other like as much compassion and like value human life that's why there's more school shooters and

and you know the the realness of it it's kind of getting faded you know death is way more in your eyes nowadays as a kid than it was when we were young. We were just playing with frogs and playing cops and robbers. We didn't have internet to see death. We didn't have TV. It wasn't about death at the time. Video games is all death. I mean, you have lives in video games. You have lives when you were a kid.

Only cats had that. That's a good point, man, especially how much you could see on the internet the the amount of Horrible shit that people see on a daily basis on the internet like people will tell me hey you want to see this video I'm like no I've seen enough. I know what people are capable of I'm good Some people not though some people all day watching fucked up shit I'm good. Some people not, though. Some people all day watching fucked up shit.

Didn't that start with cable, though? Do you remember how it started with cable? I wasn't old enough. It did sort of, but it really started with videotape. Okay. Like faces of death and shit like that. You started seeing. Yeah, it was faces of death.

I remember a video a friend of mine sent me. It was a girl walking towards a train, and she's not paying attention. And paying attention and she gets nailed by the train and it's fucking horrific, man. She just gets torn apart. You watch it. You're like, Oh my God. Oh my God. It's hard to watch.

I used to always talk about this, but what was it? It was definitely faces of death and it was definitely UFC one, two, and three, you know, like the early days of UFC seeing mixed matched, like people go at it and just the brutal KOs, you know, and there. You know, like the early days of UFC, seeing mixed matched, like people go at it

and just the brutal KOs, you know, and there was no rules back then. It was just like death. Yeah, there wasn't very many rules. Like you couldn't eye gouge, but you could punch in the nuts. Right, and you never saw that before. It was boxing on TV.

It was never like, oh my God, these guys are fighting like dirty. Yep, dirty fighting and pulling hair and nut are fighting dirty. Yep. Dirty fighting. And pulling hair and nut punching and shit. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's probably true too. I think our appetite for stimulation is

increasing. That's what I think. For real. I think that's why people like so many thrilling things. I think we're developing a stronger and stronger appetite for stimulation. That's what I think it is, dude. And I think the internet and, you know, just so many different things you could see. Like, how was it that we can, like,

instantaneously pull up video of a volcano eating a car? I mean, what? How many people are supposed to see that? Like, you're not supposed to see that shit all day from all over the world. You're not supposed to see all these different volcano eruptions and different shootings and cars running over people in times square and all that crazy shit if you lived in kansas lava shouldn't really be yeah it should

be on your list of shit you got a small amount of things to think about in front of you you could look forever at each direction everything's flat you shouldn't be worried about lava it should be you wish you should have some fucking lava to mix things up. That's gotta be a weird place to be, man, when you're watching that earth crack open and you realize how thin the crust is between you and the most insane shit

ever. Rivers of hot, molten rock right under the surface of the ground you're walking on. Like, what? How much is down there? Why did we camp out here?

I get paranoid. It's still at earthquakes. I was in the belly room of the comedy store the other day, packed, right? And if it was just like the big earthquake, then we would all be dead.

It was too many people. There would be no escape. This whole place would be... you know what I mean? But I got that in my head. I'm like, all right, I got to get out of here. It's a terrible thing to think of. But if you're in a building and it starts collapsing – Or any parking garage.

Living here in L.A., you go to this old parking garage that's downtown. You're like, I'm going to be a sandwich or something. Yeah, man. I came to L.A. right after the first earthquake. Not the first one, obviously, but the big one, the last big one. And then there was some small ones after that. There was a, I think one of the biggest ones was San Francisco. I think San Francisco was during the World Series.

It was a really big one, right? How big was that one? I think it was seven. Was it going on during a game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see that.

In the middle of the game, the fucking world started to end. Oh, that'd be cool footage. San Francisco gets a lot of them. The six point, it was the six point nine is the same as the one in Hawaii. Wow.

What's the coincidence of that, huh? Wow. That's some powerful shit, man. Just the, to me, me, it's a thing that we all know to be true, but you don't think about it until it happens. We all know that the Earth's mantle shifts and moves.

We know that it happens. We know that earthquakes happen. We know that volcanoes happen. But even so, it's still. By inches, just misses a home run. Candy Maldonado with the hesitation, allowing Jose Canseco to score, and he fails to get Dave Parker. So when does the earthquake hit?

Second base, so the Oakland A's take. I'm saying what we're having an earthquake. Whoa. It's like a scene in a movie. What the fuck? Holy shit. Wow. That's just one of those things, you know?

We think of it like, yeah, yeah, earthquakes are real. But until it actually happens that's scary that's kind of scary you felt a good one right you felt a little bit of a tremor yeah it seems like it used to be way more when i first moved here like i used almost feel one like once a month for a while i haven't felt one in a long time it's on tape right here right what is red bands feeling the earth oh yeah this is when i was i felt an earth this is probably the biggest a long time. What is? Oh, yeah. This is when I was... I felt an earthquake.

This is probably the biggest one I remember. On the air? Yeah. It's a death squad studio. It's frozen. This happened to me before recently, too.

There it goes. I started thinking about... I don't know if our insurance covers too. There it goes. I started thinking about... I don't know if our insurance covers this. Probably doesn't. Oh, shit. It's frozen. I don't know why it keeps freezing there. Is it YouTube's fault?

Yeah. It's playing on my computer. Oh, is it? Oh, is it the machine? Yeah. The TriCaster thing? Oh, yeah. That freaked me out because we had the studio at the Ice House,

and I kept on thinking about the ceiling just caving in because that's like an old building. Yeah, and I freaked the fuck out. That was scary. I think they did something to make it earthquake compliant, though. Do you know if—I hope I'm right about this. Yeah, you're right. Do you know how you walk through that courtyard area? There's bolts.

Yeah, they put all that stuff, to reinforce it from earthquakes. Yeah. I mean, the walls are something it might fix, but not the ceiling. The ceiling? It'll just fucking fall right through. I mean, it leaks. It's already half fallen in. That building's from, like, what, 1950-something?

I'd probably say earlier than that. I mean, that thing's crazy old. Right. I think it's been in operation as a nightclub since the 60s. I think it started out as an actual ice house way earlier than that. So it opened in 1960. 1960? It opened the ice house.

But what was it before in that building? I'm pretty sure in that building it was an actual ice house, which is why they decided to call it the ice house. You know, Sean doesn't work there anymore. Yeah, I know. sure in that building it was an actual ice house, which is why they decided to call it the ice house. You know, Sean doesn't work there anymore. Yeah, I know. It sucks. 20 years.

He's an awesome guy. That place is so sweet. Well, where'd he go? I'm not sure. I haven't talked to him. What was he talking about on the air? Dum-dum-dum. He's a massage therapist now. Hey.

Doing that butthole thing. He does it better than anybody. At first it feels weird cuz you know yeah but he does that thing with the air we blows it in there oh I don't think that's that's not FDA approved could you imagine if this was is that a rub maps still a thing I it when back page some so funny I know this when back page went down, Rub Maps kind of freaked out for like a week

and said like, hey, we're not open right now. Nothing's working. You won't be charged this month. But then a couple weeks later, it was always working too. It just had this weird notice before it. Well, I wonder how people feel, you know, that are in that business. Like those back page companies and all those, those companies that are, you know, those, those, uh, some, it's like classifieds, right?

Right. Like, so they have to pay to be in the classifieds. Is that how it works? Yeah. So they lose all that business, all of it. It's like a non-viable business anymore. Well, Rub Maps was good because it was like Yelp for massage parts. And so if you wanted to go, I use it for the opposite reason now where like the other day I wanted a real massage and I checked to make sure that that wasn't a rub and tub place.

Right. Because they're all rub and tub places here in Los Angeles. Like it's hard to find one that's not now. And sometimes you just don't want that. You want a real massage. I guess what I said doesn't make sense though because it's illegal activity. So as long as it's illegal activity of course they have to take it down.

Don't they? Not really. What are they supposed to do? Freedom of speech and shit. You're allowed to talk about cocaine. You're not going to get your website taken down and that's crazy illegal, right? That's not even what I mean. I mean I mean I don't think that I feel like if you're a person who is making this decision in like 2018 you're saying you know what we got a crackdown on prostitution we got to figure out a way

to we got to figure out a way to put a stop to this like what are you wasting your time doing that for don't't we have other like really big issues that we have a hard time finding enough people to tackle the biggest problem is sex trafficking that's the real reason like there's too much traffic yeah that that's a big one um just when everything's unregulated right anything that's unregulated, right? Anything that's unregulated, you're always going to find someone who fills that gap who's a criminal. Anything that's illegal that people want, you know, whether it's drugs, anything. It's really hard to tell people what they can and can't do. It's really hard.

It doesn't seem to make any sense. You shouldn't be able to as long as no one's getting hurt. You know, like what if someone decides, hey, man, we looked at this furry thing and you guys are just too weird. You can't be able to as long as no one's getting hurt. You know, like, what if someone decides, hey man, we looked at this furry thing and you guys are just too weird. You can't do this anymore. You can't just dress up like mascots and have sex with each other and eat dog food bowls. You can't do that anymore.

That's what they do. These people, they're having a party as furries. What if someone comes along and says you can't do that anymore? It's too weird. Alright, then fine. I mean, I just think it's weird where people just can decide what other people can and can't do. Especially when it comes to something as ridiculous as sex. Touching is the thing that makes no sense.

Uh-huh. Like hand jobs should not be illegal. No, definitely not. Like you're allowed to touch my arm, but you can't touch my dick. It's going to be real weird when robots are fuckable. Like really weird.

When they're really fuckable. Like they're hot. You know, they're hot and it feels good. What if someone raped a robot? Is it going to have rights? Oh, Jesus Christ. It's going to kill you, bro. They don't need to sleep.

That chick's going to wait until you're sleeping and she's going to fucking elbow your eye sockets right through. A guy got arrested for fucking a car recently or something like that. Yeah, I didn't hear about that. I think it's a matter of time before they develop an AI in a physical body that so closely resembles a human body that you could turn the lights down, light a candle. Those new ones. She'd be like the hottest girl in the world. You've seen the new ones, right?

The new sex robots? The sex robots, the ones I think they make them in San Diego. I think it's the same guy that made the real doll. But he has that new AI and the new bodies. You could order it now, I think. Pre-order it now. Really? They had a video of it, and the AI is pretty legit.

And it's not bad. It talks to you. It remembers you. You can pick the face. You can design what you want it to look like. Dude, it's a matter of time. It is a matter of time. I know a comedian.

You know Fleshlight? Remember Fleshlight? Mm-hmm. I guess they make these motorized Fleshlights now. matter of time i know it's a matter of time i know a comedian you know fleshlight remember fleshlight uh they i guess they make these motorized fleshlights whoa now like it like kind of just strokes you while you're fucking so my friend a comedian we know i won't say who it is uh but he injured his dick hole from it like it went too hard and the pain it went too hard and he had to go to the doctor and tell the doctor. Oh my God, that's awful. That's a terrible story.

Yeah. Jesus Christ, dude. That's a terrible story. I got a flashlight the other day. I haven't used one in a while. Do you still use yours? All right,

I think this podcast is basically over. Brian just hit the wall. It's been a while. We're like three hours in, too. No, I don't use it anymore. I always felt so much more shame using it than I did just using my hand. But it does feel better.

Way better. It does. That's legit. Those travel ones are nice. You shoot through, so you don't even have to clean it up anymore. You just shoot through it. He didn't make this homemade one. What is this?

A guy made a homemade dick sucker? Jesus Christ, this looks terrible. He's got metal and PVC pipe shit. The end of the pipe is cut at 45 degrees. Fresh light, PVC pipe. Get the fuck out of here. It's got like a little kid's toy train. It's going to

choo-choo right onto his dick. Look at it. Nylon nuts, bolts, washers, aluminum. Plywood. Plywood. 12 volt power supply got a lot of views, too. Look at it. Nylon nuts, bolts, washers, aluminum. Plywood. Plywood. 12-volt power supply. This one has 150,000. Oh, my God. Get out of that.

It's such a bad idea. It's a homemade cock-sucking machine. Oh, my God. Wait, can he change this? That is hilarious. So it's going to slowly, but he can control the pace that it blows him.

Proof of concept. Proof of concept yeah whatever bro type in the flesh one motorized fleshlight that's what I did that's how I got this one well listen I think we can wrap this up safely these are strange days

I think we learned a lot today I did not know that you could make a fucking phone call with an artificial intelligence thing that could say um and would make appointments for you and shit. Yeah, we all learned that today. That scared the shit out of me. I didn't know about these choo-choo train fake vagina contraptions that these kids are hacking. These wacky kids. YouTubers. I learned that.

I am very confused when it comes to the future. This stuff is, I think this is all happening in front of us, and I think it's insanely crazy and insanely transformative, and it's happening. We don't have a fucking clue as to where it's going, and there's nothing we can do about it, so we're all like, well, it is what it is. I think it's nuts. I think we are, we're 20 years from the fucking matrix and we're seeing it happen. We're seeing

it happen right now in front of us. We're seeing the little baby steps like, nah, nah, we're so far off. Yeah. I went to that whole thing the other day. It was nothing. Went to the conference. Nah, nothing impressed me. Would you rather find out that we're about to be in it or that we've been in it the whole time, which would make you more comfortable? That's a very good question. Damn, that's a good question. What do you think? I think we're already in it, so I'll choose that one.

Well. Gun to the head. What would you do? What would you do? What would you say? I think the reality itself is obviously some sort of weird thing because you're looking at it. You're looking at it through your eyes. Your eyes are determining the positions that things are in and what they look like and where things are. And there's all these things that are going on around you all the time that you have no control of.

And they're everywhere, all over the planet the planet people living lives and you interface with those lives occasionally you're just accustomed to the manner in which you do it so it seems normal but every night you close your eyes and you go unconscious and who knows what the fuck happens to your brain and then you wake up in the morning you have to pee and you're struggling to try to figure out what happened yesterday and then while this is happening your ex-girlfriend's fucking your best friend from high school and they got together and you know it's like i can't believe jamie left i mean he said he was gonna stay forever and the next thing you know like this is these all these lives intersect with each other all over the world it is kind of a hologram it's kind of a crazy reality if if the If real life wasn't real, it would be super

interesting. You'd be like, look at the way life works. Look at the way they breathe in air and breathe out carbon dioxide. And the trees breathe in the carbon dioxide and breathe out air. But they keep chopping down the trees. They keep chopping down the trees. They don't care. They're like, who cares?

I want paper. I want to wipe my ass with a tree. They just wipe their ass with trees. They don't care. They're like, who cares? I want paper. I want to wipe my ass with a tree. They just wipe their ass with trees. Literally, they grind millions of trees down every year and turn it to pulp so they can make paper to wipe their ass. They literally wipe their ass with nature. Why don't they just use soap and water? No. No.

I want a tree. I want some pulverized tree to wipe my ass with. Tissue paper. It's tissue paper. It's fucking trees. Is tissue paper really made out of trees? Mm-hmm. 100%?

Yeah. They have synthetic tissue paper that's made out of, like, dolphin tears? Something even worse? What's, like, synthetic toilet paper? Is that real? I mean, look, they have tofu chicken, right? You don't think they have like some sort of an organic? They can make plastic out of it, I think.

I've seen right out of soy. Do they make hemp toilet paper? And would it be too rough? Maybe it'd be the best thing ever. Tree-free bathroom tissue. Hemp toilet paper does not sound good. Oh, someone's doing it? Someone's putting it together? Vegan.

Is it a startup? Is it vegan? Dude, I was reading all the people that invested hundreds of millions of dollars into that scam blood test company.

That blood test company story is crazy. Theranos. There was this woman and they were calling her like the next Steve Jobs, the female Steve Jobs. She even dressed like him. She wore black turtlenecks. Really?

Yeah, and she had become this self-made person. I think from college started this company, and then by the time she was like 40, whatever she was, when they busted her, she was like 40 whatever she was when they they busted her she was worth 34 billion dollars because this blood testing thing that she had developed and then as time went on they realized that it didn't really work and then all these people had invested like betsy devos i think it was and warren buffett had war Warren Buffett invested over $100 million. $125. Yeah.

In this company. That was bullshit. So they put these people's health at risk because they gave them these tests and the test didn't work. And they're showing that they kind of knew the test didn't work. But this is how this woman dressed all the time. It's really interesting, man.

It's a really interesting story. Because when you see the amount of money that people invested into it and then they're just shit out of luck she went from being worth i think she was worth something crazy like the richest woman ever or the richest self-made woman ever something along those lines i think she was worth like 34 billion dollars at one point oh she has a Twitter. Yeah, and then she's recently been charged with massive fraud. I don't know. I mean, I don't know shit about that business.

So I don't know if the blood test did or didn't work or if she's got a story that needs to be told. I don't know. You just read what you read. And what you read is that they fibbed about results and they did some shit that they shouldn't have done. And what you read is that they, they fibbed about results and they, they did some shit that they shouldn't have done. And all these people got tests and they thought they were, you know,

if you get a blood test, you think you're getting the accurate results from a reputable company. And it wasn't, it was a micro click. Like they would take like a micro prick of blood and they would take that blood and they would measure it. And that's how they would find whether you had diseases or not. Yeah.

I use that one all the time. Richest self-made woman worth four and a half billion okay so why did i say 34 that's not even real who has that much like three guys yeah a couple other people okay so she's worth four billion that's still nothing to sneeze at it's like a two bedroom apartment i remembered a four i see a four is it your father who father? Who is it in the past? So this thing, this story when it came out that all these people had invested hundreds of millions of dollars into it, it made me think, like, can you imagine how long it takes to make $100 million, to have $100 million to invest in something that's bullshit? Can you imagine, like, what it must feel to find out something that's bullshit do you imagine like what it must feel to find out that that shit didn't work you're like what like yeah you invested

in a scam it's all bullshit what yeah they're being charged with massive fraud no no yeah your hundred million dollars is gone what what the fuck did you just say? Your hundred million dollars is gone. They just got arrested. She got charged with massive fraud. What? So she's in prison? It's happening in the crypto market with

ICO's initial coin offerings is what it's called. People will make some sort of pitch and pitch people that their new startup is worth it. Instead of taking investor money, they take cryptocurrency, if you will. And then after they gain a bunch, they just disappear. Whoa. It happens almost every week now.

Exit scammers run off with $660 million in ICO earnings. See, this is like what you were saying about the Nigerian people getting online and them not knowing certain scams. It's like scammers find a way into every system. There's not tons of scams out there. They're just getting repurposed. You know, just another trick. They just put a little twist on it, change the name, and it's a new scam.

But it's all the same scams. Actually, you want to know my postal scam? Postal? Yeah. I've actually never done this. You're going to get arrested for what you're about to say? Well, I want to know my postal scam? Postal? Yeah. I've actually never done this, but it's like where you- You're going to get arrested for what you're about to say? Well, I don't know. Let's be careful here.

Okay. Well, I've never done it. The post office pit bulls. I've never done it. Ask Lance Armstrong. Those motherfuckers come down on you. I've never done it, but this is something that I think somebody told me they used to do in college.

I don't know. I don't even know if it really works. But like I said, I wanted to send you a letter. I would put you as the... Just switch the return address and the send address. Throw it in one of those blue mailboxes. They'll go, hey, no stamp. Return the sender.

Now I send you that letter. Hmm. Okay. They probably know that one already. Yeah, they probably do. They can only do that with a letter, though, probably. Yeah. Yeah, they're probably like, what?

How'd it get all the way over here? Return to sender. You drop it off in California, it's supposed to be in Ohio? Get the fuck out of here. They know better. They know better. Do they? Yeah, they're smarter than you, bro.

That was like a hippie scam. So let's be scared together. Let's wrap this up. We should be scared of technology. Agreed? Mm-hmm. Agreed? This is getting out of hand.

Agreed? Maybe, yeah. It's on its way. I definitely know I'm under the influence of marijuana. It's also fun. It's also very fun technology. It's very fun. It's very fun.

It allows us to do this show. Oh, yeah. I'm not anti-technology. I'm not even anti where this is going. I'm just like, oh, my God, there's a waterfall coming up, guys. We're on a raft. There's a waterfall coming up. You tell me it's okay?

You can go over the waterfall? Okay. Okay. Depends if we need protection. I don't know if we're going over this waterfall if we're going to make it. We'll be fine. Robot fuck dolls, they're know if we're going over this waterfall if we're gonna make it we'll be fine robot fuck dolls they're coming

they're gonna take over your life dum dum dum alright Brian what do you got coming up shows tonight improv with Pablo Francisco oh shit

Pablo's in the house tell him I said what's up and this weekend me and Tony are taking Kill Tony to Vegas so we'll be in Vegas

and then which club we're playing this place called the Dive Bar which is I guess seats like 200 people it's like an old bar that's been there forever

but there's still tickets to that San Francisco is sold out and then we're going to maybe in Detroit with Danny Brown is going to be on Kill Tony with us

and Texas and we're all over the place deathsquad.tv click on tour dates excellent and if you're looking for a... Oh, you don't have your powerful shirt on. I do not. YoungJamie.com. I have a few left.

A few left on YoungJamie.com. Alright. That's it, fuckers. We'll be back tomorrow. Thank you. Bye. Bye. How long is that?