The Joe Rogan Experience - #1129 - Tom Papa

Episode Date: June 11, 2018

Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. His new book "Your Dad Stole My Rake: And Other Family Dilemmas" is available now on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Your-Dad-Stole-My-Rake/dp/1250144388

Young James ready to launch. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. We can do it. Tom Papa is a motherfucking author. I'm a man of letters now. You're an author. I'm an author. I've always admired that and secretly wished that I, not even so secretly, wished that I had the discipline to write a book.

You do have the discipline, you just have to focus it on that. You can do it. How long did had the discipline to write a book. You do have the discipline. You just have to focus it on that. You can do it. How long did it take you to write this? About two years. That's too long. I don't got that kind of time. You can do it shorter.

Oh, okay. Like a little pamphlet? Yeah, just throw a flyer. Just make a flyer. This is all I can do. How long before you started writing the book did you think about writing the book? I've always kind of wanted to write a book. Did you have a book deal?

No. Well, yeah, on this one. I had pitched doing a book, I don't know, like six years ago. Pretty much the same concept and no one was into it and then a couple years ago through two three years ago a publisher contacted my agent or whatever and they had interest so we made a book deal and that changes everything because now someone's waiting for you yeah you know you got to turn stuff in and they make books and they're probably smart you don't want to seem like an idiot did you have an editor that like went over your stuff and said this is too long this is too short yeah they were pretty great they were pretty they just left the

material alone oh there was a couple little things where they're like you know you're repeating something or uh that but mostly it was uh uh grammar kind of things do you want to say it like this right this isn't technically grammatically correct but would you you know typos right that kind of stuff they were pretty hands off about the actual material and is it is it a book of essays is Is it your life story? What is it? It's all on family. It's called Your Dad Stole My Rake and Other Family Dilemmas. And it's broken down by everyone in your family. The basic thing is as a comedian, I've been writing about family and looking at everyone's families for so long. So I'm going to write about all of them.

So it's moms, dads, cousins, aunts, uncles, all broken down in chapters like that. I write about all of them. So it's moms, dads, cousins, aunts, uncles, all broken down in chapters like that. And so I talk a little bit about my family, and then I just talk about funny essays about just life in general, like going on family vacations. Why are you eating your shirt? What's going on there? I don't know exactly. There's a really cool photographer, Sam Jones.

And you just decided to get wacky? He just... This guy is like this amazing photographer who's just done like Clooney and Damon and all these people. And I asked him if he would help. And when I showed up, we were just taking some regular shots. And he's like, I have this idea. And he just brought out this giant shirt and put a tie on it and just shot it. It came out pretty funny. I look like Dilbert.

Yeah. Or Beaker. I was just trying to figure out what you're doing there. I guess what you're doing there is get people to try to figure out what you're doing there. Yeah, they stare at it and they're like, maybe if I buy the book, I'll figure it out. I'll understand. The puzzle is deep inside. It's just being goofy.

Yeah, when you write a book you have to think man someone could be reading this 30 years from now 50 years from now that is as comedians you write something in the morning and you bring it on stage they tell you if it's funny or not you know what you're working with you go back and forth this is like it's permanent and no one gets to review it until it's done. So, the nerve-wracking part of it was like,

okay, it's done. I'm pretty proud of it. I've like edited it like crazy. I've worked on it for a long time. Will people think it's okay? Will they not think it's hack? Will they think it's good?

Is the writing okay? All that other stuff. And it's been out now for a week and the review, I can tell the reviews are good. is the writing okay all that other stuff and it's been out now for a week and uh the review i can tell the reviews are good like the people are reviewing it and writing about it and calling and just people just randomly and it's i'm over the hurdle the anxiety of is this a good that's the book is over yeah people like it it's funny and it's and people are saying i can write People like it.

It's funny and people are saying I can write. So that is huge. It's just calmed me down completely. Because, you know, like you said, for 30 years, what if everybody takes a dump on it? Well, there's some that are really fucking bad. Yeah. I mean, some comics, someone should have just walked in while they were writing and grabbed them.

And just said, hey, you're doing something terrible for your future this is gonna be around for a long time well people are gonna refer to this forever catch people in these like really self-righteous defensive modes and they're writing things down and maybe like five years from now they'd be like what the fuck was i thinking yeah they're in the middle of writing it and i I've read some shit. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah. Just horrible stuff. Yeah.

No, I'm relieved. I'm not excited. I'm just relieved. Like, oh, okay. It's good. It was good. I thought it was good. I hoped it was good.

My editor said it's good. People are saying that they're laughing when they're reading it, like editors who don't normally say that kind of stuff. How do you balance out book writing with writing stand-up? How do you divide your time? It was tough. Whenever I work on something else, stand-up, I work on it at night. The book was, I got into this rhythm of going in every morning, get up at seven, go in with my coffee and sit there. And that was book time until noon.

I would try and just work on that and make it. But that wasn't for two years. That was like the last year to eight months kind of thing. Before that, it's a little looser. I'm trying to get it done and stuff. But that real discipline of like coming in every morning, sitting down, and seven days a week just writing, just writing, just writing. Seven days a week?

Wherever I was, whatever I was doing, I had to make sure that I had that time. If I'm on a plane, if I'm in a hotel, if I'm on the road, I was just writing the thing all the time. It just became – because you know, the biggest challenge for me, and I think a lot of writers, is that you judge yourself as you go. You're like, is this good? But you have to just get it down and know that it's bad. Just get it down. I want to write this chapter on crazy ants. So I'm just going to write it and spit it out. I want to write this chapter on crazy ants.

So I'm just going to write it and spit it out. And then I'm going to go to work on it. Like a bit. You know, like stand-up. And just go back and just start editing and peeling back and peeling back. And what program were you using when you were doing this? I did it all on Word. Microsoft Word. Have you ever seen Scrivener?

Do you know what Scrivener is? No. Scrivener is really interesting. I did my last special on Scrivener. Oh, yeah? It was the first time I've used it for writing stand-up. And what's good about it is on the left-hand side, you have all of your different subjects. Yeah.

And you click on each subject, and there'll be a whole column. So I had the title, Strange Times, and then the left-hand side. This is what it looks like when you're looking at the cork board. So the cork board is one aspect of it where you have these little cards, like index cards. And you set these index cards up and you write all the different things on the index cards. You can organize it. Outside of the index cards, there's also on each index. The index, the cork board, it corresponds to each individual subject.

Like say if I'm doing a bid on desks, right? So I have desks on the left-hand side, and then I'll write out all the stuff on desks, but there's also a cork board tab. Right. And then so I'll have all the different things to make sure that i covered all the notes oh that's good dude i like it a lot yeah i'm gonna try that what i like a lot this is not really showing why i like it uh-huh why i like it is because you can have you can move all those little chapters around and and move all the bits around like for stand-up

oh that's great yeah that's really good yeah the organizing it gets so in your head it just starts bogging you down yeah but the good thing about this was that it was essays so each one's like four or five pages right so i would just be like literally just open up the file and go dad's all right i'm gonna go to work on this one dad no gifts for dad and then just boom just edit that. Put it away. Go on the next one. You know, I could just bounce it.

What I'm trying to say is I didn't have to keep track like a novel. I didn't have 300 pages of flow. You know, they were all just hits. So it was kind of similar to stand-up that way. You know, like I could just go to work on them. But it's fascinating. I really loved it. Like, I have friends that have written books.

Like, Colin Quinn came and did a book event with me a couple weeks ago. And he wrote a book. He's like, I'll never do it again. I just hated it. I couldn't stand it. I hate it. And he's a prolific guy. He writes a lot.

I mean, those are one-man shows. He's always writing. He did a one-man show on U.S. history. Yeah. The guy writes a lot. But the. I mean those is one man show. He's always a man show on US history Yeah, the guy writes a lot, but the writing for the book drove him crazy. I Really loved it. I couldn't believe that you could look at a five page essay and find something wrong with it Every time you looked at it every time. Why am I saying this they know this? Why do I have to say he he sat down at the table and ate his breakfast? He ate his breakfast.

You could just peel stuff away all the time and get it as direct as possible. And I started to really just love that. Jordan Peterson told me he wrote his first book, and it took him 15 years. Because he went over every single line, every single, like a critic, trying to find fault in everything that he did. Wow. Until he felt like he got it done. It was on a cold war.

Jeez. So he really wanted to make sure that he had the subject matter completely locked down. Yeah, that's daunting. Like, you're dealing with something that people can fact check. Yeah. People can't fact check what happened to me in putting my sister in a garbage can in fourth grade. You know what I mean? It was family.

It's all about family. It's all about the joy of being with other people and the aggravations and all that kind of stuff. So it was just, and I write, I have a lot of that in my act. So it was definitely in my wheelhouse. I'm not writing books about the Cold War. You're going to write another one?

I am going to write another one. Have you started yet? No, I haven't, which is I have a couple ideas, and the publisher wants me to write another one. Already they want you to write another one? Yeah, I think. That's a good sign. Yeah, it's a good sign.

We're the number one new release in family humor. So it's like... You got any potty words in there? Very little. Yeah. Very little. How many? Like 10?

That would be a lot. Got any C words in there? Which one? The cunt word. Oh my lord. Yes. There's a whole chapter. On cunts.

This is the problem with family. Cunts. That's a whole chapter. On cunts. This is the problem with family. Cunts. That's the whole chapter. Male and female. Just period. Yeah. No, it's actually pretty clean. I don't know if there's anything in there.

I think there might be one or two words. One or two questionable? Yeah. There might be a shit or a... Yeah, I don't think so, though. It's two questionable. Yeah. There might be a shit or a, yeah, I don't think so though. It's pretty clean. Yeah. Good for you. Anything in there on bread?

Yes. There is. Yes. The final chapter is Just Eat the Bread. Really? Yeah. It's called Just Eat the Bread. And it's all a chapter of basically using bread as a metaphor

for just enjoy your life right don't don't turn it away don't get all balled up once in a while just a little just do it should i segue into my big announcement you got a big announcement i have a huge joe rogan podcast announcement it? Huge. The book is huge. And it's a great Father's Day gift and everybody should buy it. But as we all know from being on this show that I am the Sultan of Sourdough. Yes. And my reputation as a baker is because of this show. Hands down.

From doing your show, your fans are so awesome and started just sending pictures of their bread. We have this nonstop relationship about bread. They show me their failures. They're constantly sending. I'm in these interactions. I'm in cities. People are bringing bread. And when I would travel, I would go and visit bakeries when I was on the road.

And visit bakeries when I was on the road. So the big announcement is the Food Network asked me to do a show about bread and baked goods. Whoa. So I have a new show coming out on the Food Network on Labor Day called Baked with Tom Papa. Wow. And I travel around kind of like a diner's drive-in kind of thing, but with all baked goods. kind of like a diner's drive-in kind of thing, but with all baked goods and meeting these amazing people that make the stuff, getting their stories, these families,

these Turkish families and Italian families or whatever, and then showing all of this amazing, amazing stuff that they're making. All because of this show. Wow. I have to thank you 100%. It was a hobby of mine that I completely loved and got into.

But after doing this, it just kind of exploded. And now we're going to be, I just finished shooting them all. That's awesome, man. Yeah. How many did you shoot? We shot eight. So where'd you go? Eight different cities.

New Orleans, New York, Detroit, L.A., Cleveland, Philadelphia, New York, Detroit, LA, Cleveland, Philadelphia, New Jersey, northern New Jersey, which is where I grew up. Yeah, eight different ones. It's going to start in Labor Day. It's so silly. I mean, literally, you know, I've been writing scripts. I've been auditioning. I've been acting, whatever, to be on television. I start baking bread with my daughter.

Now, that's my show. It seems like that's the best way anyway. It's the thing that you actually enjoy and really love. You know, it's- A hundred percent. You find that thing that you're really passionate about and turn that into a show rather than- Yeah. Some sitcom that you're really not that excited about other than being

on television. That's exactly right. Like I had no, I was doing this anyway. Yeah. I didn't have any of the stress of like trying to get a show on the air. Like when I've written pilots and you're like, ah, I hope it goes. This was just so natural because it's just what I'm doing. So it completely, and you hear that a lot.

Well, just, it's just, I should come from something you love and something you didn't. And you hear that a lot. You're like, well, I love, uh, working in an office and having a girlfriend. I'll make a show about that.

No, you don't. Not really. You don't really, but, uh, but that's, this actually just,

it, you can't force it. It's just, it's just organic. And this one was organic. Did you link up those different cities with comedy shows? Did you do stand-up in those cities when you were traveling? I did just like pop in.

Neil Brennan and I did a show in New Orleans. I did a show in Cleveland when I was there. Just as a pop in. I didn't promote it and do it while I was there. So you were just concentrating on filming. Yeah, I was just concentrating on filming. We'd go in for like three days i'd meet like four or five different bakers and uh it was cool just you know just dealing with these people was amazing that's awesome man no one gets into baking because they're an asshole you know what i mean no one says i'm

gonna bake cookies and they're an idiot fuck these people i'm gonna bake them cookies and they're gonna like it no no it's i mean it's uh food is a fascinating thing to me yeah because uh i mean i guess this is as good a time to bring it up as any um you know obviously anthony bourdain took his life yeah last week and um he was a friend of mine and it was real that was real hard friday was real hard i woke up and um i got a text from my friend maynard from tool uh-huh um maynard said so much for the keenan versus bourdain celebrity jujitsu match and i and and he's like fuck and i was like oh no what does that mean yeah and so then i googled it and i. And I was like, oh, no, what does that mean? Yeah. And so then I Googled it, and I saw it.

I was like, oh, shit, man. I can't fuck. What? Yeah. I just. What? What? Hung himself. Like, what?

Yeah. I don't. How close were you? Did you know his demons? I was friends with him. Hung out with him. Got fucked up with him. Did you get a feeling that he had that in him? I didn friends with him. I hung out with him. Got fucked up with him. Did you get a feeling

that he had that in him? I didn't know that. Yeah. But what was really weird was like he had been saying really recently that he'd never been happier.

He was talking about his girlfriend and saying that he'd never been happier. Didn't know he could be that happy. Didn't know someone could make him that happy. Oh, man.

That was so terrible. But who knows? I mean, they might have broken up or who knows yeah i mean who knows i don't know i don't know i don't i don't know i mean sometimes sometimes people when they say i've never been that happy you're catching them on these ups and downs you know some people some people uh-huh you know people get manic right i don't know if he was, but some people get manic. They get up and down. I'll tell you what, he liked to get fucked up. Yeah. You know, like, he liked to drink.

Yeah. You know, and he enjoyed it. It was something that he enjoyed. Yeah. Like, we did an episode of this show. We went hunting for pheasants in Montana. Okay. And then we cooked over this campfire.

He cooked. It was fantastic. Really? And then afterwards we drank whiskey and smoked weed. And he goes deep. He goes deep. Really? Where I'm sitting down.

I'm like, I'm going to just try to catch myself with the world spinning. Deep breath, deep breath deep breath he's like where's the fucking weed he's like he just kept going he just kept going wow but i knew he drank i didn't know he he smoked weed yeah yeah he um he had a heroin problem yeah when he was younger um and he kicked it but he didn't feel the need to just be sober yeah that was kind of interesting about him that's that's a thing right when people get sober from a drug they feel like they have to get sober from everything yeah he did not feel like that and he by the way like he would drink but when he was home like with his and he's homeless, he didn't drink at all.

Like he would only do that when he would be on the road. Right. So he'd be home for these stretches of time, and he didn't drink at all. And he was addicted to jujitsu. Oh, really? Yeah, he was doing jujitsu like literally every day. How? When I was hanging around with him, he um he went we were in montana he went to bozeman

to find a local jujitsu club and trained with them in the morning she just trained with everybody i never i hardly ever did that on the road yeah find a place i would just go to the gym and work out right i wouldn't but he was so into uh learning and getting better at jujitsu do you know if he was on prescription for depression or anything like that? I do not. That's what I'm so suspicious of. Like when you heard of like Robin Williams and Chris Cornell. Yeah.

There's like, he was on anti-anxiety medication. Anti-anxiety medication is a big one. That stuff, like it even, you know, in their, you know, in their long list of side effects, it's always suicidal thoughts. And then if you mix it with other things like alcohol and this, and I don't know at all who was on what, but it seems what bothers me is that it's not part of the conversation. Well, Robin is a different take because Robin had Lewy body disease.

He had a heart attack. He had significant issues with that. My friend, Dr. Mark Gordon, actually wrote a paper about long-term anesthesia, like when you're under not long-term but like long duration for things like open heart surgery. Right. That there's a high instance of depression afterwards. There's a high instance of depression afterwards. And a lot of people coming out of these big time operations where you get anesthesia for long periods of time have significant dips in their hormone levels afterwards. It's very, you know, it's not like a free ride getting put under.

Yeah. And having your heart opened up. And yeah, I mean, your body goes through massive trauma. Your body's like, holy shit. We just had our chest plate split open and you know, your heart gets worked on. People were inside of us. Yeah. And there's a significant correlation in Mark Gordon's opinion between depression, post-surgery post-surgery depression i think it's something that people need to look at he had that obviously because he he did have um heart surgery for a long period of time the depression lasts after that because i know people get i always thought it was just a mental thing of like you know surviving something like i remember letterman on a show like weeping and like bringing his staff on and stuff i always i didn't know it was a hormone thing i always thought it was just the trauma of surviving that i think it can be both yeah i mean i'm sure i mean i'm obviously no doctor but he was close i'd say you're closer

to a garbage man but he was uh explaining it to me yeah um the that there is an issue with this. Right. And so Robin had that and he had some serious neurological disorders. Yeah. And there was quite a few other things, too. Right. They're also complicated. Yeah.

And then whatever medications. This is the thing, right? Like, what are these medications? What's he on? You really don't know. But Chester from Lincoln Park, he was on a shitload of things. But he was very troubled. He was a guy that was, he had some real problems, but he was also very medicated.

I mean, look, we have the highest suicide rate among middle-aged people in America than ever. Is that really the case numbers the numbers are through the roof and there's also this pharmaceutical opioid crisis at the same time and i just feel like you know people are on this shit that's really affects your head and your mood and it says right in it like you know i remember i had a friend whose brother was uh depressed and this was you know in the 80s when we were kids and the the game lack of a better word of trying to get the right medicine for him because when he when they prescribed the wrong one things got out of hand i mean like really dangerously out of hand and then they finally find the right med for him and then he kind of cruise like no there's no like obvious path yeah like the the problem is it's like say if you

have uh some particular type of infection they give you antibiotics if you have you know poison ivy yeah they know what kind of cortisone cream to put on you or what have you when when you're depressed yeah there's just so many different factors involved in depression. There's your actual life, right? There's what's going on in your life. Like, are you taking care of your body? Are you exercising? Do you have loving relationships with your family and close friends?

Or do you feel distant and detached? You know, do you not have anyone in your life like romantically do you not have a job that you enjoy all those things factor into the way you feel about life and from the time you were a kid sure your whole life oh your whole life and then on top of that you have like legitimate mental illness right and you have depression because your brain is not producing enough serotonin or dopamine. There's so many factors. And people try to self-medicate.

And I know a lot of people try to do it with exercise. Exercise apparently seems to be as effective or more effective than most SSRIs and antidepressants. I heard that, I don't know if I'm right, but I remember hearing that whatever your body manufactures or secretes when you exercise is similar to what a lot of these drugs have in them. Well, you definitely get runner's high, right? Runner's high, I don't know the exact mechanisms involved, but it has something to do with the cannabinoid receptors so it literally gives you a high that's similar to almost like a marijuana high right you know yeah you get you're euphoric oh yeah you get like i love it yeah i love running and just feel even when even if it's not identified for me as a high like like smoking weed my whole rest of my day is better like there is there's a happy little thing going on that's, you know, I'm not flying, but I'm definitely not balled up and anxious the way I was before the run. Yeah, that balled up and anxious thing, I have my own theory about that.

I think the human body has physical requirements. And I think if you don't, just because of the design of it, the fact that human beings have lived for thousands and thousands of years either hunting or gathering or running away from danger. Yeah. Your body's like constantly in action. Right. Back then. Yeah.

We essentially have the same bodies as people that lived 10,000 years ago. Our DNA is very, very similar. Right. And I think we have all these requirements and we don't meet them. And there's so many people that just sit down all day and that's all they do. They walk to sit down and they sit down again. And most of their time is sitting down, whether they're watching television or sitting in front of their computer. And that shit is terrible for you.

Terrible. And you feel it. You just feel shitty. You just feel bad. I was in, after the Bourdain news i was traveling uh outside of chicago and uh it just kind of clicked in my head like you know you're just thinking whenever you have someone that inspires you and especially if you're friends like you were uh you know it's just you can't get it out of your head kind of a thing and your balled up anxiety is even worse and i just instinct instinctually

got in put on my running shoes and just went for a run because i didn't want to sit and think about all of it so much yeah and i just felt better like i was i wasn't euphoric again after the run but i was definitely better than before yeah i feel like especially when you're traveling and stuff like that but he did jujitsu all the time see these are puzzles these are puzzles we can't solve yeah who knows i don't know what was going on yeah no and there's no way to ask him obviously um yeah when i when i travel one of the first things i do uh whether I'm coming home or going there, is work out. Yeah. And I didn't this weekend.

Because Friday when I got there, I'd worked out Thursday. So I'd worked out that day already. I ran that day. And then I got there Thursday night, woke up Friday to that text, and I was just like, fuck, man. I didn't want to do anything. I cried. Yeah. I felt like shit. I got a bunch of phone calls from some friends.

And then I had two shows that night. I was like, I just got to get on the horse. Fire up. And I was a little worried. I was a little worried that I was going to be moody or weirded out. Yeah. But once I got there, I was fine. Yeah.

I was with Santino and Tony Hinchcliffe. Nice. So those two guys are great. Yeah. We just had a fun time. We talked a little bit about it and smokedinchcliffe. Nice. So those two guys are great. Yeah. Just had a fun time. We talked a little bit about it and smoked a little weed. Nice. Got up there and just had some fun.

And the energy of that crowd. I saw your Instagram of the crowd and that's such a beautiful theater. That's an amazing theater. You can't have to, it'd be tough to be depressed and doing a show there with all those fans and that thing. 700 people. Yeah.

Yeah. We did two shows too. They were both great. Oh, they look killer. Chicago is an awesome town, man thing. 3,700 people, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we did two shows, too. They were both great. Oh, they look killer. It was a lot of fun. Chicago is an awesome town, man. Great food, great people. It's a combination of a big city and Midwest-friendly people.

Yeah, yeah. And the summer becomes a totally different city, too. Oh, yeah. I'd always gone my whole career in the winter. And then literally just three years ago, went in the summer. I was like, oh, man, this place is amazing. The parks and the winter. And then literally just like three years ago, went in the summer. I was like, oh man, this place is amazing. The parks and the festivals. It's great even in the winter though.

I've done gigs there in December and January. It's like they're happy to be inside. Yeah, exactly. And that you came through the cold to see them. But back to the food thing. I mean, the stories that Bourdain told through food was just, I mean, amazing. That's why he reached so many people. You could sit with that show and he really took his time and you really felt like you had been there after he left an episode.

Yeah. He made me think of food as an art form yeah i never thought of as an art form before watching um no reservations his original show yeah i watched that show and um i just would feel like oh this is not what i thought it was i thought it was just like oh this guy knows how to cook yummy food. That's great. Right. But then watching his show, I was like, oh, this is art. Like these guys are treating this like a painting or like a sculpture or something like that. Yeah.

And they're passionate and they're all tattooed up and weirdos. Right. They're artists. Yeah. They're just artists that cook. That's right. Exactly.

It's just they might as well be making music or painting, whatever it would be, drawing. They're artists. At its best. Yeah. artists that cook that's right exactly just they might as well be making music or whatever and painting whatever it would be drawing they're artists at its best yeah you know and the same thing like within any any other art form then there's people that just crank it out and see a way to make money and you can tell there's like a difference but once you eat stuff from an artist you're spoiled because then you then you're ah, these people don't care as much. This is – technically this is lasagna, but this isn't the same. I know.

It's fascinating. It's interesting. The approach is very – it's very contagious. Yeah. You watch the way they cook and you watch like their passion for the food. It makes you hungry. You want to eat and you also want to try it. Yeah. At least I it makes you hungry, you want to eat, and you also want to try it. At least I do.

I always want to try it. Always. Always. It's fascinating. You know, going around and meeting all these bakers, it's like they all got into it because there's a love there. And then it's really hard work. Like these people work.

You know, 2 o'clock in the morning, they're baking. They're like in there. i know it sounds so uh silly but anytime i'd walk into a coffee shop or a bakery or something you just see that like a whole display case filled with stuff it seems like it's always been there right and you don't really now meeting the people these poor bastards who are making it every day two o'clock in the morning. It's hard, hard work. And the only way it seems that they can continue to do it is because there was that initial love of it. That deep, deep love. They learned it from their grandparents or they just went to school and figured it out and it just hooked them.

And that, like, it's enough of a Big Bang explosion of love that they stay in it for, like, you know, 10 years and make a business out of it. My grandfather used to walk to get bread every day. We would, he lived on North 9th Street in Newark, New Jersey. Oh, yeah. And which was at one point in time an Italian community. Right. It wasn't when he lived there when he died. Right.

community right it wasn't when he lived there when he died but um but when i was a boy we would go um we would leave his house we want to visit and stay there we'd leave his house we'd walk like three or four blocks down the street to this bakery that he had been going to for probably 30 years yeah and these people this was like an old italian bakery with those white paper bags yeah put the loaves in and you'd go there they would go there every day and get italian bread every day every day get fresh bread yeah and you know and the bread was good for about a day or two like if you got the second day it was getting a little dry and stale but if you got it that day boy oh you slice that bread and yeah you know my grandmother made homemade pasta she made she made from scratch like from from you know flour eggs add the whole thing make lasagna make and it was just fucking sensational oh it's the best it's the best and

you know there's that thing like when someone makes something really good in the community it changes the community because people will walk to get it in the morning yeah like just making something real quality all of a sudden it's like it just starts attracting people yeah it's fascinating it is fascinating yeah did your parent your grandparents come over from italy yeah they were born there yeah oh yeah what part yeah? Yeah. What part? Well, different parts, but Sicily and Naples. That's mine, Sicily and Naples. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah.

So is Rogan, what's his name? That's Irish. That's my grandfather who came from Ireland. Oh, okay. My grandfather on my father's side came from Ireland. My grandmother on my father's side came from Italy. Gotcha. so it was one quarter one quarter Irish that's funny we were one quarter German all the rest were Italian

yeah yeah it's amazing so did they speak Italian yeah yeah they spoke dialect too oh yeah you would you'd know what the fuck they were saying even if you spoke Italian like if you spoke proper Italian and listen my grandmother and my grandfather yelled at each other you don't know what the fuck they were saying. They yelled at each other so much, too. It was so crazy. Did they really? Yeah.

When I was a little kid, I'd go over the house. I'd have to hide. They would start yelling. My grandmother was late for everything. Everything she ever did, she was late for. And my grandfather's name was Joseph. My family was very unoriginal. My father's name was Joseph.

My grandfather's name was Joseph. My family was very unoriginal. My father's name was Joseph. My grandfather's name is Joseph. Yeah. My grandmother's name is Josephine. And then my name is Joseph. So it was like a lot of fucking Joes. What did you call your grandmother? Grandma. Grandma.

Yeah, just grandma. But when I was over there, I remember my grandmother was always yelling. My grandfather was always like, we got to leave. We got to leave. Don't rush me, Joe. Don't rush me. And she would get crazy. They would fucking get crazy.

I was always scared of marriage. Oh, really? Yeah, it was part of the reason why I was scared. My grandparents were always yelling at each other. I just wanted to get the fuck away, man. That's just how they communicated back then, though. I remember my grandparents, too. Like, just, they communicated back then though. I remember my, my, my grandparents too, like just Charlotte,

Charlotte, like, like, like veins in their neck popping out. Well, they, they grew up in hard times, man.

Yes. When my, my grandmother had a stroke and, um, when they were taking care of her, they started finding these little pockets of money that she had squirreled away in the house, all over the house, like coffee cans with cash in it.

Because during the depression, people just, they realized like, oh my God, it can get to a point where there's no food. Like nothing. Nothing. And people starve to death. Like that's really possible. That was the reality. And the United States going through that was far better than, like, say, Europe post-World War II.

Yeah. Or the Soviet Union, where, you know. It was worse there? Oh, fuck, man. People starved to death. Wow. Who knows untold how many people starved to death in the Soviet Union. Starve to death.

I know this sounds selfish, but I only thought of it in terms of America Of course The whole time Oh of course Well Russia took it really bad Russia took World War II very very bad And these people that grew up During that era

My grandparents came here My grandfather came here I think when he was 7 And it was during the depression So it was like the worst yeah of the world and you know my grandmother was similar age they just had this this mentality like it could all go away they had they had seen it yeah it was burned into them and you know kids today everyone's like leaving food on their plate and no one's worrying about where it's coming from and everybody thinks they had a totally different mentality they were scared big time yeah i mean they had they had

nothing and they would save everything every little piece every little something yep like tinfoil i mean and think about how messed up it is that they go from that they go from the depression they get out of it and then you roll into world war ii like these people they dealt with a lot of different levels of stuff that we didn't have to deal with yeah i mean uh tim kennedy who was a guest of mine recently his friend of mine said something very profound he said hard times make tough men easy times make weak men yeah but hard men make easy times you know nice you think about it that way yeah hard hard times make tough men tough men make easy times easy times make weak men yeah it's like a fucking gross cycle i mean when people are always like kids today these kids today don't know well it's

because they haven't gone through no you can't you can't manufacture that for them my grandmother this is a funny story on uh on 9 11 i was uh in new york i was at newark you don't hear that a lot by the way this is a funny story 9 11 but i was at newark i was flying out that day and we watched the second plane fly into the you saw it's the second one i saw it saw it on television no you know at newark you look right across it you were looking and you actually literally hit a hundred percent i was the first plane that was going through your mind when you saw it hit? Well, the first one hit before we got there, before I got there. And I walked with a pilot down through the airport. And he said, yeah, I think it was a Cessna.

It was kind of crazy. And so I'm down there, and I was at the desk, and I said, I was going to Chicago. And I said to the woman working the thing, I said, do you think we're going to fly out today? You know, do you think we're going to fly out today? You know, do you think we're going to actually get out? And a guy yells, here comes another one. This man, just like a businessman.

And we all turn and you could just see it streaking across right into the, you know, small. The plane looked small, but just and you saw insane. So I sit down down i just sat we just and i was sitting with an artist a middle-aged man who was an artist and uh then we heard about the pentagon as we were sitting there and he opened up his little art case and it had all these razors in it like razor blades and stuff from his artwork like how you know he's a commercial artist and he's like this has all got to change. He said, people are just, they let me on the plane with this. And we're just sitting there, just freaked out,

like calm but freaked out. And I was calling my wife who was in New York. And I woke her up and we were trying to talk and she was going to the thing. And at one point, the artist I was sitting with just looked at me in my eyes like we were trying to understand what was happening he said i think we should go home now i was like yeah yeah right of course we should after sitting there for 20 minutes yeah so i can't get back into new york i can't get back into the city time's gone gone

by and i'm on a in a cab going up the parkway in new jersey and there's just dust where the towers were and i'm like holy shit so i can't get in so i go to my nana's house who lives in by giant stadium and uh because she's the closest to the city i can't get into the city so this uh this driver takes takes us over and i get to my nana's house and she's so excited to see me because her grandson's visiting and she lives alone now my father grandfather had passed and i'm sitting in front of the tv and i'm like nana like at first i hugged her and i was like all weepy like i was shaking you know i didn't know what was happening and she's like oh it's so nice to see you get in here i visit this is this is so great like do you see what's happening she's like oh I

know it's a crazy world and uh I sit in her little tiny uh living room den area and we have the tv on and uh she's trying to talk to me and I'm trying to watch the television. And she, this is the World War II mentality. I'm like, yeah, man, I'm kind of avoiding talking to her. And she goes, all right, well, look, I have a bridge game, a card game with my lady friends. Here, take half of my sandwich. She opened her tinfoil, gave me half of her tuna fish sandwich. She goes, you eat this.

I'm going to go play cards with my friends, and we'll have dinner after. You'll be okay. And she walks out. Wow. But they they were tough they dealt with so much i hadn't dealt with anything i wasn't even freaking out not even freaking out she's like it's a crazy world and this she wasn't like you know alzheimer's she was just hey you know it happens yeah we lost a couple of buildings and a few thousand people yeah here's half a sandwich i'm gonna go play bridge i'm gonna play bridge we got to keep moving tomorrow's another day but that's how they live both my grandmothers are that way just completely like plow ahead plow ahead don't get caught up thinking about everything that's happening there's no sense in it we've done

that before yeah and you get nowhere so let's just keep going this way. Well, having a war that affected people the way World War II did with the entire, not just the entire nation was involved, but the whole world was involved in this conflict to stop evil. Yeah. It was a different time. You had an evildoer. Yeah. You had a real, I mean, obviously ISIS is evil. Obviously North Korea, there's a lot of evil in the world.

But it's not like this evil empire that's invading Europe and dropping bombs on people. It's not these Nazis that believe in eugenics and want to create an Aryan race. That was terrifying. Putting people in camps and not stopping spreading telling people we're coming and they were the most sophisticated in terms of engineering and right like i mean they they have to this day i mean where do you get all the fucking engineers in terms of uh like automobiles top end like audi bmw there's those people were making shit for nazis back then yeah i mean that's no they were co-opted by the regime do you ever see like one of hitler's cars there's those people were making shit for Nazis back then. Yeah, I mean that's how they were co-opted by the regime Did you ever see like one of Hitler's cars? There's a Audi from like

1930 something that was made for Hitler Yeah, it's like they were designing Engines yeah planes and they were super super advanced super advanced. No, and you had this real evil focus. Like it was like, okay, the world has got to come and go get this one guy. I don't know. I mean, I wasn't there, but it seems more black and white

than the way the world is now. For sure. I mean, there was a thing called Operation Paperclip that happened where after the war, we scooped up all these Nazi scientists secretly. And some of them were like Werner Von Braun, the guy who was in charge of NASA. He was a Nazi. Really?

A hundred percent. The Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive today, they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. And he was the head of NASA? He was the head of NASA. Yeah, they took monsters wow and they brought those monsters over here and those monsters helped us make the apollo rockets geez yeah and then some of the monsters went to soviet union they took some of those monsters

god those were i mean and there's no reason to whitewash that either those were real monsters they were real like they hung the five slowest Jews every day in front of the, of the rocket factory in Berlin where Wernher von Braun was making rockets for, for the Nazis. Oh my God. Yeah. They had these Jews that were slaves that worked as well. I mean, there's people that were alive today that have those tattoos in their arms that talked about meeting him there and seeing him. And they would hang the slowest workers oh my god yeah in the front of the factory and this guy just keeps going to work doesn't split doesn't leave the country what what could you do and then try to get out in nazi germany yeah you know how the fuck could you get out you were a slave no not the jews baron the guys who were working the

guys who were working for the company. Like, to see the people being hung and still hang in there. They were Nazis. Yeah. I mean, he was a Nazi. They were all in. Yeah, I mean, whether or not he agreed with the ideology wholeheartedly, I mean, I didn't have a conversation with him. I don't know if he was doing it for pragmatic purposes.

He was frightened or whatever. Get a disguise. Get out of there. I don't think they could. You know, one of those glasses with the mustaches. Does that work? Yeah. You go to the airport.

You get on a flight. Come to the US. You take it off. They're like, oh, it's the NASA guy. It's the rocket man. There was a slow slide, I'm sure, into that. I mean, the slide wasn't that slow. I'm sure into that.

I mean, the, the, the, the slot wasn't that slow, but from world war one to world war two, as it escalated, yeah, I think it just got to this point where they're like,

Oh my God, like, what are we doing? When they started having concentration camps and killing all these Jews. God, terrifying. Yeah. And those,

so we took a lot of those guys, brought them over here. They worked for, work for the U.S. government. Man, oh, man. I have a 67 Volkswagen. Little Beetle. Sweet little car.

Sweet little car. It's like a little tank. Weighs like 50 pounds. I know, but it's solid. Yeah. And, yeah, you can't get around. Every time you meet it, you think, you know, this was the people's car. This was the early Nazi Germany, Hitler hitler on the uh at the at

the plants you know being very proud about this car and stuff well here's a good way of looking at it too you have a 67 right yeah that's like if i had a 1998 car that was produced by nazis what do you mean in 98 because it's years old. 20 years from 67 to 47. Oh, right, right. Literally, it's that era. Yeah. I mean, it's so close. It's so close.

20 years. Yeah, that's nothing. That's nothing. God, yeah. It's really close. Yeah, when you think about it that way, there it is. That car is 20 years removed from Hitler being in power. Did you literally, did you do that randomly?

Googled it. Do you know what Google is? Because that's my car. Oh, really? My car is literally. That is your actual car? That color, different wheel, different hubcaps now, but I mean, to a T. My friend Jimmy Lawless had one of those when we were in high school.

Oh, the best. It was so light. It was crazy. So great. He had a tiny ass little Oh, the best. It was so light. It was crazy. So great. He had a tiny-ass little engine in the back. It's got a little four-cylinder. That's the thing. When you see this little Beetle, you don't think Nazis.

You think, bimp, bimp. You think it's cute. Yeah. Oh, they're adorable. Have you seen what they do? They take an older 911 engine and put them in these things? Yes. Yes.

Make them fast? I know. They do that with the buses, too. But you look how little those fucking tires are. I know. I mean, that thing ain't got any traction. No. Going around turns with that thing is like, hey! Here we go! They were smart

back then, though, with their engineering. They put the weight of the engine in the back. Yeah. I mean, it has such a different effect. It's kind of amazing to look at all automobile manufacturing in the 30s before the war come like there was enough metal for everybody there was enough ingenuity

the French car the design is so amazing there was a real moment of of inspiration and creativity and then the war came and just like all the resources and all the people and everything got dampened down but man they were flying in the 30s.

Yeah. What's interesting, though, is there was another resurgence in the 60s. Like, especially in America. American cars in the 60s were fucking amazing. Yeah. And then the gas crisis got them. Ah, right. The 70s, they were dog shit.

Yeah, it went terrible. So bad. They're so useless. My mom had a Pinto yeah it was a bad car but like i'm a muscle car fan right yeah like for me the golden era was like 1960s to somewhere around 71 you got the last of the great cars like 71 barracuda still pretty badass right but then 72 starts to look a little shitty. Like the Mustangs. Yeah, once you get to 75, they're dog shit.

76, but by the time 1980 rolls around, just fucking light those things on fire. Because of the gas? Well, the gas crisis came. They started making cars cheaper and they were just lighter. They tried to make them more fuel efficient. And something happened to the way they look.

They just started looking like shit. Yeah, the design. They just started looking like shit. Yeah. Like, look at that. That's a 79 Mustang. That's terrible. Now, I want you to, so this is a 1979. Look at this piece of shit.

Now, I want you to Google 1969 Mach 1. Get ready for this motherfucker. 1969 Mach 1. Get ready for this motherfucker. 1969 Mach 1. Boom, son. Click on that black one right there. Click on that. Come the fuck on. How do you go from that?

Yeah. How do you go from that and 10 years later you have that boxy piece of shit? Look at that red one in the upper right-hand corner. Man, that looks like it should come with Steve McQueen in it. Oh, good googly moogly. Look at that red one in the upper right-hand corner. Man, that looks like it should come with Steve McQueen in it. Oh, good googly moogly. Look at that thing. What a fucking car that is. God damn.

If that doesn't get your dick hard, go to a doctor. Comes with Steve McQueen and a naked gal in the back. Steve McQueen had a 68. Go 1968 Steve McQueen Mustang. It was a green one. Yeah, it is. Boom. Look at that.

Come on, man. What did they do? Fuck. That's more than the gas. That's some bad... Something happened in the company. Something happened with life. Yeah, something happened in Ford.

Look how gorgeous that is. God. I mean, that is a fucking work of art. There's the lines on that thing. Look up a 76 Toyota Corolla. Why do you want to do that to yourself? I want to show you what a badass vehicle I was driving around in. Oh.

Yeah, that yellow one. Ooh, baby. Yeah, mine was baby shit orange. Here's the thing. That thing would start up every baby. Yeah, mine was baby shit orange. Here's the thing. That thing would start up every day. Yes, 100%. That's the difference. It might look like a piece of shit, and it most certainly does.

That was it. That was the color, baby shit orange. And I put a racing stripe along the side. Did you really? Yeah. Why? I had a horn in it that played 200 different tunes. Really?

Oh, like Deuce of Hazzard style? Or Happy Birthday. Yeah. I had a CB in it. Boy. I'd contact my friends on my CB. You had a CB? We're going to the Dairy Queen.

Over. Did your friends have CBs too? Yeah. Or were you just shouting out into the abyss? No. We had like three friends with CBs. Because we had no phones. That's hilarious. Is there a party? I'm not sure. We had like three friends with CVs. Because he had no phones. That's hilarious.

Is there a party? I'm not sure. We're going to the Dairy Queen. Okay, get me a Butterfinger Blizzard. Be there in a minute. Explain that to me. How do you choose what channel you're on? You just choose.

We all knew we were on channel four or whatever. How many channels are there? Not that many, actually. So how close do you have to be? Like 10 miles. So within 10 miles you could use it? Yeah. Why didn't everybody have CBs back then?

Because they weren't thinking. I had a Toyota Corolla with a horn that played 200 songs. I was into it. You were ahead of the curve. You were ahead of the curve. I was having a blast. I was so happy to be out of the house. But isn't that amazing?

I'm thinking about this now. You were ahead of the curve. I was having a blast. I was so happy to be out of the house. But isn't that amazing? I'm thinking about this now, how often people use cell phones and such. What were people thinking back then? Why didn't they get CBs on their cars? I don't know. It's a good question. Why wouldn't everybody have one? I don't know.

And especially then, it was like the big trucking era. Remember Convoy? Dude. Smokey and the Bandit. Big Convoy. Yeah, Smokey and the Bandit had it. Come on. I was like the big trucking era. It was a big convoy. Dude. Smokey and the Bandit. We got a big convoy. Yeah, Smokey and the Bandit had it. Come on. I was like, come on. Smokey and the Bandit had it in his Trans Am, right?

Yeah, that's right. They were talking to each other. What year was that? I think he had a 79 Trans Am. Yeah, I was going to put it at 78. It says that CBs exploded in the 70s when the oil crisis caused the miles per hour on the highways to go down to 55, and truckers started using them to tell each other where the best gas prices were.

Ah. Like a network started of people using CBs. Okay, rubber duck. That's funny because I would have thought that they were exploded because they were using them to tell each other where the cops were. Yeah, like Smokey and the Bandit. Yeah, dude, when I was in high school, it was 55 miles per hour is the speed limit, which is just fucking torture. It's torture. That's torture.

What are you doing to people? Who do you think you are telling people to go 55 miles on the highway? On a highway? Yeah, and with a 400 horsepower engine. Yeah, with that Steve McQueen car. Yeah, what in the fuck is that all about? In my Toyota Corolla, it was just fast enough. What are you saying, Jen?

The speed traps was like the third thing that they called each other out with. Yeah, I would imagine that would be a big one. I mean, Waze is pretty good for that. Waze is like, police spotted ahead. Oh, Waze is a snitch. Yeah. They blocked the freeways, too, in protest of the lower speed limits. Did you remember that?

I remember that. I remember that. Who did that? The truckers did? Well, that didn't help, you fucking idiots. You're blocking yourself, you stupid fucks. Do you remember when these morons were blocking the highways? Remember when people were doing that around San Francisco?

That was recently. Yeah, for a protest, they would walk out and just walk on the highway. Yeah, what the fuck was that about? Thank God people stopped doing that. Yeah, you want everyone to hate you? Well, it's not just that. would walk out yeah and just walk on the highway yeah what what the fuck was that about thank god people stopped doing that yeah you want everyone to hate you well it's not just that it's like you're stopping people from being able to get to a hospital you might cause people loved ones lives and they did well that's what happened with the governor christy when he closed down the bridge he has a couple people died because of that Because they couldn't get to the hospital. How is he not in jail for that?

The guy's the worst. How is he not in jail for that? He should totally be in jail. Other people went to jail for it. That is just fucking straight corruption. Just to make that call, the audacity that you would have to have. Just the balls to make that fucking call and say, shut down your bridge. I'm going to have some M&Ms.

So arrogant. Do you remember seeing when they closed the beaches and him and his family were the only one on the beach? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Disgusting.

That says everything. Just his body says everything. Let yourself get to that state. Yeah. Slob. And he had an operation, too. Ugh. He had a stomach stapling.

Did he really? And ate through it. Look at that. Fucking blah. Every state beach was closed, I think on the 4th of July. And him and his fat family were just sitting there on the beach. Just what an F you to everybody. Look at that.

This extreme. Nobody else allowed. Extreme arrogance. And why were the beaches closed down? For the budget. He ordered them closed. Right. Because they couldn't pay for people to watch the beaches closed down? For the budget. He ordered them closed. Right, because they couldn't pay for people to watch the beaches? Yeah, it was like one of those pissing matches between who's going to cut what for the budget.

And on the 4th of July... Look at that sand portrait of him. Look at that. Someone made one of him in the sand. That's hilarious. Yeah, the 4th of July. Look at him in his little shower sandals I think the kids call those slides

They call them slides? Yeah the kids call those slides I hate slides I call them flip flops No no no That's not a flip flop That's a slide When I see someone in the airport with slides on

I just want to punch them A lot of dudes have slides in the airport with socks on I'm like okay What are you doing? What are you doing here? Why does that annoy me? Because it's lazy. You don't like lazy.

It's lazy. Yeah, but I have those Solomon running shoes that don't even have, they don't have laces. They have like this little tab you pull and you pull it down and it tightens up and you open it up and it's like Velcro. Yeah, but you're still pulling a tab. At least there's a little something there. Is that what it is? Yeah, just stick them in your feet and flop, flop through the air. Is that what it is?

Flop, flop. People don't like that? No. Is that why people don't like that? Yeah, because they're lazy. Just go to the airport and be as comfortable as possible. You're very excited about this. It makes me so angry.

But why? Because you're a 25-year-old man sitting on the floor of an airport waiting for your thing next to your shower sandals it's not a lot of people do it though it's not a lot of people do it but enough people do it with the socks and the slides yeah it bothers me so much i don't know why does it bother you more or less than flip flops? A little bit more, which is pretty crazy because I really railed against people with flip flops. Like Bert Kreischer wears flip flops everywhere. Disgusting.

He's kind of gross. It's so gross. And people act like their feet don't have your feet have a real bacteria between the toes. There's like a real there's real germs in there. And then they're just slipping them off and putting their toes in the magazine rack. But Bert is like this life of the party type character.

That's part of his thing. It's his thing. I love him. He's disgusting. I love him too. He's disgusting. There's a video of him on a fucking skateboard flying down his street with flip flops on. I'm like, dude, do you understand the damage to your toes that you could do for the rest

of your life? Your toes are going to be fucked up if you crash. He's flying down the street with flip-flops on. He's hilarious. But no. I mean, at least he's a character, like, bigger-than-life character. You're just a flip-flop, and you don't care, and your pants are hanging off just to get on a flight to Boise.

Just come on. Why Boise? Why'd on. Why Boise? Why'd you pick on Boise? I love Boise. I'm just... What's the issue? Because it's a shorter flight. I didn't want it to be...

I'm like, you can't even get it together for a short flight. Yeah. You know, it's disgusting. It is weird. It is weird.

It's just, come on. We have very specific ideas about footwear. I judge people when I see them with Yeezys on. Yeah.

Including Jamie. I have something right there. No, you I judge people when I see them with Yeezys on. Yeah. Including Jamie. I have something right there. No, you gave me them. I don't have them. They're exactly where they sat. Right below me here. I think I was here when you... Yeah, maybe.

That was like six months ago, right? When he gave them to me, they're in the box right there. I've contemplated running in them, running through like a creek and filming it because people love these things so much. But I don't want to run in them. Are they expensive? Because I like running in shoes that are actually supposed to be running in. Yeah, they're expensive.

He gets it. Look at him. He's upset. Jamie's one generation younger than me. So his like idea of what these things are is different than my idea. I feel like they're mad at you for saying that right now. Some people are. Some people think it's hilarious that you would do that.

That I'd run in them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I know they're mad at me. But that right now. Some people are. Some people think it's hilarious that you would do that. That I'd run with them? Yeah. I know they're mad at me, but they're dumb. If you're mad at me for what I would do with a pair of sneakers, you're a fucking idiot. You need to get your shit together. It's not your sneakers. You're thinking about sneakers too much. Are you happier that they're just sitting here

in this fucking... People think I'm joking. What do they look like? They're sitting here in this fucking box. I'm not joking. I mean, I didn't plan this out. They're here in this box. Here. People who are into them are like, oh my God, you got them there and you're not using them.

You got them and you're not even flossing. You should be out flossing, man. Where are those... He got them for me. He's taunting me because I mock his all the time. They look like some sneakers from the 80s. Right. He got it for me. He's taunting me because I mock his all the time. They look like some sneakers from the 80s. Right.

It's like they look like the sneaker version of that shitty Mustang from 1979. Yeah. No, man. They're cool. The whole back end sticks out. The heel has like a duck bill behind you. It's so stupid. It's so bizarre. Yeah.

That Kanye West has a large effect on humans. Very interesting. They were on Family Feud last night. They were on Family Feud? Well, was it any good? I just heard Howard Stern talking about it. I hope they asked him tough questions just to see them fall apart. Try being a book in that house.

You will collect dust, motherfucker. I don't care it's broken up into chapters. They ain't reading shit in that house. They ain't even reading tweets. Elon Musk wants to do the podcast. Right back here on the feud. Really? Yeah.

Message me. Can I come in as your co-host? That'd be fun. No. I'll just listen like everybody else. That's really cool. Yeah, it should be interesting. Yeah, he wants to get his Model 3 up to some high-level production,

and once it's done, put some time away. No, Model 3 Tesla. Oh, the Model 3. Yeah, he's close. He does what he's concentrating on. Yeah, he's just... Yeah, once he's got that. They just delivered their first 1,000 flamethrowers this weekend.

Yeah, what's up with that? Why are they selling flamethrowers? I don't know. I almost bought one just to do it. Really? Just to see what would weekend. Yeah, what's up with that? Why is it on flamethrowers? I don't know. I almost bought one just to do it, just to see what would happen. Let's buy one. And you couldn't do it. Let's take it out back. You couldn't do it as a flamethrower, so he named it Not a Flamethrower.

Is that what it's called? Yeah, it's called Not a Flamethrower. I have a boring company, Not a Flamethrower. Wow. They went out to some airport hangar to pick them up, I guess. Okay, but what happens when people get killed by these things? Wait a minute, is there a mariachi band playing? They're having a good time.

It's a flamethrower thing? Yeah, it's the big unveiling. That's where you pick them up? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Is that real? Yeah. So go back up to that photo of the flamethrower. That's it.

Jesus Christ. Look at that fucking thing. Pretty cool. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Yeah. Probably just got to buy propane maybe to refill it and connect it, that's it Jesus Christ look at that fucking thing pretty cool oh my god that's amazing yeah probably just gotta buy propane maybe to refill it

and connect it and that's good to go seems like it's gonna cause a house fire what's the purpose of that um to when you when your enemies come close

and you run out of bullets you you hide behind the couch and get them with that or if you're in the movie Alien remember yeah they had flamethrowers

yeah you need to burn them instead of shoot them cause it's a you're on a spaceship if you're in the movie Alien, remember? Yeah. They had flamethrowers. Yeah, you need to burn them instead of shoot them because you're on a spaceship. If you live on a spaceship. Oh, right, right. What are you going to do with a flamethrower, my boyfriend asks me. And that's her. That's the author out there blasting. She doesn't even have the stock against her fucking armpit.

She doesn't even know what she's doing. Look where she's got the stock. I don't know. Terrible technique. Supposed to tuck that into your arm, honey. Yeah, but there's not a lot of kickback on a flamethrower. I don't give a fuck. You do that like you're a goddamn professional.

You exercise with trigger control, too. What about his tunnels? What about all his tunnels? I didn't realize how many tunnels he wants. Dude, he wants us. He's doing everything. He's making flamethrowers. Yeah.

He's making these gigawatt factories, these gigantic batteries that are powering Australia. Yeah. In Nevada. He's a very, very unusual human being. It's amazing. It's just the balls. Just do it. You get an idea, just do it.

She does not know how to handle that gun. Somebody told me they saw him speaking about the tunnels. Because he's got to get approval. There's different things he's got to get passed. And he doesn't just want a tunnel from here to LAX. He wants multiple tunnels. So if you're going to the United Terminal, it takes you

right there. If it goes to the American one, it takes you there. It's going to be a whole ant farm of tunnels all through the city. What happens if we get an earthquake? What happens if there's a tsunami? Do those things fill up with water and does everybody drown inside those tubes? It says the tunnels are weatherproof.

That means when it rains. Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about. What about an earthquake? I don't think earthquake is weather. No, I know. I'm looking to see if they have any. I've been getting claustrophobic lately. Ooh.

Why? I don't know. Like in what way? I had a couple little instances where I was like, I've never been claustrophobic before. 1994, Northridge earthquake, no damage to LA subway tunnels. 1989, Loma Prieta, Northern California earthquake, no damage to tunnels. Loma Prieta, Northern California earthquake, no damage to tunnels. 1985 Mexico City earthquake, no damage to tunnels, which were then used to transport rescue personnel.

The tunnels were in shape, but there's a big rock over the hole that gets you out of the tunnel. Yeah, right? A building fell on it. Yeah. The elevator won't take you up, and now you're stuck in that little elevator. Living in a tunnel for the rest of your life. Stuck to death in there. The elevator won't take you up, and now you're stuck in that little elevator. Living in a tunnel for the rest of your life. Stuck to death in there.

You try walking, and you get clipped by some other guy on a Tesla going 120 miles an hour in the tunnel. You get run over. Everyone's turning into rat people. Because the tunnel's not big enough for you to walk in while there's cars in it. No. I think they recently changed the plan, which is going to be these things called electric skates, which people get on like a subway car. Like a pod.

Yeah, instead of your car getting in there. But small, like only like 16 people. Yeah. Right to the airport. Right to downtown. Man. Yeah. It'd be pretty cool, but I don't know if my claustrophobia will kick in.

Well, he's got that. And then there's another thing, the Hyperloop. He's doing that Hyperloop thing, too. The Hyperloop is the... That's the fucking train that goes to San Francisco in like 13 seconds. That's him, too? Yeah. Dude, what the fuck? Just keep doing it.

But this is the crazy thing. It's one guy. Like, how is this one guy that innovative? How is he that smart? I don't know. He's... But is he funny? He's pretty funny sometimes.

He's a comedy fan. Came to the store. Yeah, he's been. He was at the store. Yeah, he was at Largo. With Johnny Depp's ex. Oh, right. Cut that loose though.

That's the only, oh, he did? Good. Smart guy. Smart guy. Exactly. That was my only time I worried about him.

I saw him at some events. I was like, oh no, what is he doing? Probably just getting some of that crazy pussy. I just Googled Hyperloop. She's beautiful. It's not being associated with him.

I know he is doing that, but he might not be the only person. Or maybe he's just involved in the project. It's different. Could be. Well, he's also involved in the fucking rocket project. SpaceX. He's going to Mars. That's what I wanted to ask you.

Have you talked about 3D printing? A couple times, yeah. We've going to Mars. Yes. That's what I wanted to ask you. Ooh. Have you talked about 3D printing? A couple times, yeah. We've talked about it. I just watched the recent Vice on 3D printing. Pretty amazing. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Do you know who has one? That guy. Burt Kreischer? The fucking puppet guy. Jeff. Dunham? Jeff Dunham, yeah. He makes puppets with him? He makes a lot of shit with him. He on opie and anthony back in the day apparently he's like a super tech geek yeah

and he was on opie and anthony back in the day and he was taught he had like one of the earlier uh 3d printers really yeah they're getting really really complex oh my they're making human body parts they're making human ears there he is making the akhmed mobile controlled chaos jeff dunham so he does all this stuff himself he's a fucking character jeff dunham yeah interesting guy that's amazing like you put anything in the computer like actually there was showed like a dishwasher and the guy wanted to manufacture the part that's inside the dishwasher the computer says no we can improve on that part whoa and we're going to alter the shape of it and have it be like this and then it makes that and then you use it

wow it's getting so crazy human cells human cells and they're making ears and yeah skin and it's amazing well they think that in the future you won't be buying things you'll be downloading schematics. I know. And then getting the raw materials. Right. And then the raw materials you'll have like in your machine somehow or another, and it'll make whatever you need. Like say if you need a French press. Right.

It'll make a French press. It'll 3D print a French press for you. You won't go to the store and buy one. You'll just like download the whatever it is. You don't need a manufacturer no one's going to be in this business of making presses less i mean less and less and but the thing is like more and more demand will be for things like this table right like craftsmanship or someone makes something for you right right yeah i mean which is you're kind of seeing that now like

people are getting you know there's all these these restaurants that are like kind of farm to table. They have wooden metal and everything is like rustic and everything is like kind of retro. Everyone has armpit hair. That's not what we're talking about. Oh. They had razors a long time ago. There's no excuse for girls to have armpit hair. Isn't it funny, guys?

It's fine. It's fine. I have armpit hair. Do you have armpit hair? I do. Of course you do. Yeah. We're men. If you don't have armpit hair, I'm like, what happened?

You got a disease, bro? Were you in a fire? You got alopecia? Does your friend have a flamethrower? It's like girls with their junk. Like, okay, here's a perfect example. Butthole hair on girls. Right.

Like when we were kids? Can't get enough. Standard. It was normal. It was there. was there it was chaos right just how you grew it was just a big fucking pile of whatever nowadays if you're a gal you're a young single gal and you got butthole hair you're taking some risks right you're like i don't care love me who i am yeah you must be into older men because that's the only one that loves me for who Love me for who I am. Like, no. No, we're not doing that anymore. We're trying to evolve.

And the first thing that's evolving is women's hair. You got to start somewhere. Right? Like, how many women, when you go to the beach, how many women shave their legs? All of them. All of them. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, it is weird.

Like, the grooming standards that we've imposed on women, like, that culture's imposed on women. It's fucking crazy like yeah it's weird like the the grooming standards that we've imposed on women like the culture is imposed on women it's pretty crazy it's fucking crazy it's so crazy in comparison to us like you and i yeah look at us balding fucking hairy armpits and shit i have one patch of hair on my back oh yeah like a wolf just like one side like like when the american werewolf in lond, the transformation sequence. Yeah, like I stopped a quarter way through. Yeah. It's funny.

I mean, the standards. Yeah, it's weird. It's very weird. It's weird. But what's also weird is that people who are really, women who are really progressive still like doing certain parts of it. That for me as a man watching it is always like yeah we're all the same and let's own it and stuff but i'm still gonna put this big big uh line on my eyes to make it look like i'm gonna put extra lashes on to make it look like yeah it's weird like the what you choose to sculpted

eyebrows and shit eyebrows some dudes sculpt their Some dude sculpted her eyebrows. Yeah. They got a word for those guys. Because they were in. Starts with an F, ends with a T, and it rhymes with faggot. No. A cabaret star? Yes. It's a bundle of wood.

No, it's, yeah, it's very bizarre. I always feel like, but they also like, it's empowering to feel good. And it does make women feel good. Yeah. to be in heels and do all that stuff. Well, then there's different standards for gay folks. Like gay guys, they do it way different. And by the way, when I use that F word, I should not use that. And definitely wouldn't use it for gay guys. We know. Consider the source.

Gotta be careful, though. Gotta be careful in today's days, day and age. Yeah, but people know you're a good person. Some people don't. They know you're making a joke. It's a dangerous time. Did you hear the Lisa Lampanelli thing? What happened?

She was screaming at an audience member, like really completely off the charts. I think it just happened last night. I don't know. I heard it on the radio. She's like screaming, you sons of bitches. Did you see that? She yelled at them, called you sons of bitches did you see that she yelled at them called them

sons of bitches on stage nuclear meltdown fan hands are a hundred dollars to shut up she goes off she have blue on her hair yeah she's got blue in her hair nuclear meltdown someone tried to say something in the middle of her set and she just goes batshit crazy what she went nuclear on a fan who gave her a hundred dollars to shut up in the middle of her gigs well here's the thing like why would someone why would someone pay her at a show to try to get her to shut up someone after someone from the balcony called her a cunt, it all went downhill from there. Oh, God. Oh, God.

How long is it going to be before you can't say that word anymore? Probably good till like next Wednesday. Yeah, we're running the sand in the hourglass. Yeah. Like when I just said faggot, I felt it. I'm like, ooh oh this is a dangerous time to say that word yeah don't say it anymore yeah no no no no even as a joke uh-huh even not even calling an individual person it just saying the noise that is that word like it's get down to

the like you'd have to call it the other f word yeah but the n word it's clearly established right people say it all the time people even say it on stage in a comedy set they'll say the n word right say the n word they won't say it no no no and if they do say it people are oh gas yeah forget it from the crowd forget it no that's gone but jamie was talking about. Retarded gone? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, retarded is, I think it's probably. But you can say it. But the way you're saying it, you can say retarded. Right.

Right. The N word, you wouldn't say it. No. You wouldn't even say it. No, I'm too scared. It's the word bigger, but without the B, with a different, with an N in it. I can't even do that. I'm done.

I can't even say bigger, but without a B with an N. That's how tricky it is. I'm just feeling for the keys in my that. I'm done. I can't even say bigger, but without a B with an N. That's how tricky it is. I'm just feeling for the keys in my pocket. We're damaged. We're terrified. Jamie, you were telling me about what was the rap concert where the girl got on stage and she was saying? Yeah, the Kendrick Lamar concert.

So I guess this is a song that happens a lot. You can see lots of videos of the crowd singing all the words, which has a lot of N-words in it. Including white people in the crowd. Correct. Yeah, lots of white people. Mainly white, yeah. There's videos of this?

Yeah, I'll pull one up as we're talking about this. A concert in Alabama, the Hangout Fest. A girl who grew up on stage. She was obviously drunk. They kind of almost set her up to do it. As soon as she said it two or three times, he stopped it, stopped the whole thing. What did she say

in reference to? It's in the song. Oh, so she sang the song? Yeah, she was doing like karaoke. Like a song lyric. Yeah, I'll pull up the video. And then he turned on her? No, no, no, no.

That's not for you. That's only for me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's mean. Yeah. Setting her up. I had a bit from 2009 from my Spike TV special. Hold on.

Here, woman gets on stage. Are you ready? You ready? What's your name? Delaney. Delaney. Oh, and she's going to do it? Oh, my God. She's going to set her up. Oh, and she's going to do it? Oh, my God.

He set her up. Yeah, it's terrible. She said, where we started at. Where we started at. Here we go. He's mocking her already. Yeah. I told you every time.

Swear I got you. Wow. She must be so nervous. Are we playing this over YouTube or will we get pulled? I don't think so. Let's find out what happens. Oh. The crowd's already yelling. Oh, Jesus Christ. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Am I not cool enough for you? What's up, bro? That's terrible. This is crazy. Everybody's doing this on his down. Will's just really cool, bro. You have to work with me. You got to bleep one single word, though.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I do it? Yeah, you did it. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. But they're your lyrics. To tell her kicker off. They're telling her to get off.

They're all up the thumbs down. Get off. You said the noise that he says that we love. You can't say the noise. That's mostly it. I don't know if you like it or not. Come on, man. That's mean.

We live in hilarious and preposterous times. I mean, that is so strange. That is his song. Yeah, he wrote it. That is the song. He wrote the words. That is his song. She loves him.

She loves him. She's at his concert. He gave her the microphone, played the song. She's singing the song that he loves, that he wrote, that the whole audience loves. And everybody's like, you did the wrong thing You made the noise So Wow, that was me She was so happy the whole crowd doing it though. And this whole crowd is looks mostly white. Yeah, they're all screaming

Okay So how's that work? We got a double standard? I don't. This is why I stay home. But wait a minute. How does that work? That's why I don't go to concerts.

If there's a lot of people there, you can do it. You can do it if there's a bunch of people there. Yeah. But you can't do it if you're by yourself. No. On stage by yourself in front of those people, you can't do it. But if you're in with them, you could do it. Yes.

And that was mostly white. That was a lot of white there in that one. Of course. White people are ridiculous. They're so confused. They were so confused. I mean, this is a strange time. I was going to say, I did this Spike TV special in 2009,

and there was a... Do you remember that old commercial with the girl comes home and her dog starts talking to her like, Lindsay, I really wish you wouldn't smoke pot. You're not the same when you smoke pot. And I miss my friend. Remember that bit? Yeah.

I had this whole thing where I was like, first of all, whatever that chick's on, she's not on pot. Because if you were on pot, you'd be like, wait a minute, my fucking dog can talk? How long have you been able to talk? Dude, I had you my whole fucking life i've had your whole life this is the first shit you said right you know and like i went through this whole thing and i called my dog a faggot and uh this guy this was like in the beginning of political correctness right because it's 2009 he this is a said this to me. He goes, you can't say that word. That's our nigger. That's our word. That's what he said. He literally said, I go, wait a minute. What did you just say? And he said it again. He said, it's our

nigger. We're allowed to say it. You can't say it. I go, that's the gayest shit I've ever heard. And he started laughing. I was like, that's so crazy. I go, I'm talking to a dog. I'm talking, I'm angry at a dog because I've had this dog my whole life. It's first words out of his mouth. I tell you, I love you every day. And what do you say? You say, I wish you wouldn't smoke weed.

Hey, fuck you, stupid. I smoke weed and I go to work and I pay for your food, faggot. That was the joke that was and he got he got like i'm like these rules are preposterous isn't it supposed to be about intent okay isn't it supposed to be like i'm supposed to be conveying how i feel and the words are supposed to mirror my thoughts. Like when you have magic words that you can't say, and in this case with the N word, it's even crazier because it's like some people could say it. You could say it sometimes.

Sometimes you can't say it. Yeah. It's too heavy. Black people could say it. White people can't. But white people can say it if they're in the crowd and they're yelling it out. But as long as there's an A on the end of it. Yeah.

Right. Exactly. The ER is what gets you in trouble well look racism is disgusting all racism racism against chinese people racism against white people racism against every of course against black people of course against everyone judging someone on something that they have no control over yeah that's what it is like you you, you're born, whatever you're born, Irish, German, Italian, African, you're born. It's not you. Yeah. You're just who you are. Yeah. Right.

So racism is disgusting. But is that, is it racism when you have that girl on stage and she's singing that song that she loves that you sing? It's your song. Like that's not really racism. No. So when she's singing along and everybody's, you racist, you fucking Nazi,

like, what are we doing? Because this is, what we're doing here is, we've gone into some ridiculous zone where it doesn't make any sense because we know that's not her intent. No, exactly. It becomes an intellectual exercise. Exactly. It becomes

like a word game. It's a little puzzle kind of thing that we're doing to trap this person. You could say she's very innocent up there. They all know she's a little drunk. It's kind of like setting someone up to do something. What? Yeah, it's pretty gross. It's just weird. But it's weird that it's so universal. Like that crowd, that was

probably 20,000 people. Yeah. Boo! Boo! I had a weird thing on, you know, I'm on that show live from here, the old Prairie Home Companion show. And, you know, I'm the writer for it and stuff, head writer on it and appear on it and stuff. Anyway, I'm very involved with the show. and appear on it and stuff.

Anyway, I'm very involved with the show. Chris, who's this bluegrass guy who plays a mandolin, who's amazing, the kindest person you'd ever meet. Like, super, super sweet, sweet person. Like Mr. Rogers, in a way. Like, it's to that level of kindness. And he sings everybody's birthdays and stuff, and he sings different songs as a tribute to everything.

He loves all music. He loves everything. He sang a Kendrick Lamar song. He sang a little bit of it because it was his birthday that week. And he got so much hate online that a white person can't be singing that song. What is the song about? It's, I don't know. But it wasn't, that wasn't the thing.

So it wasn't the N-word? It was that he was, what's the thing? Cultural appropriation? Cultural appropriation. That he's not allowed to sing. And meanwhile, he's singing bluegrass, Indian music. Right. I mean, from all around the world, this is a kind soul celebrating everything. And it really freaked him out because he is so nice.

He couldn't believe the hate that he got from it. That now he's super sensitive about singing that music at all. It's not logical. It's not logical. And you have to put your foot down. And you have to consider the source. But culturally, we have to put our foot down because we're going down this very strange, illogical road where you can just decide what's evil and what's bad. And it doesn't have any bearing on the thought or the intent behind it yeah is look they went after bruno mars like get in the just get the fuck out of here

yeah they they accused bruno mars of cultural appropriation what culture he's everything he's everything he's a bunch of stuff he's like the meanwhile what is he doing where anybody would accuse him of cultural appropriation he sings these beautiful fucking songs oh he's a light a light in this world he's amazing yes i love that guy oh the guy's amazing his voice is fantastic and his songs are fun and they're catchy and the i love listening to them i saw him in vegas in concert it was just the most uplifting bright thing you know what made me happy though is that a bunch of black artists said fuck you he's great like what was the original charge just fucking social justice warriors were going after him for cultural appropriation all these like super progressive angry fuckheads were deciding culture whatever man it doesn't

have to make sense this is the thing right they're just looking for targets yeah it doesn't have to make sense this is not it's not like a logical progression like oh bruno mars is it's not like oh he's stealing from these old blues singers and he's not crediting them and he's a white guy from kentucky that's not what we're dealing with right we're dealing with a multi-racial guy who sings these beautiful songs that they don't they're not cultural appropriation even if he was white. Yeah, no, exactly. It's just a joy of music. And music is a mix of everything.

It's a mix of all of us, of everything that is good coming out. I think they're saying like his style. But if that's the case, then here's the case. I'm a fucking huge fan of the Black Keys. The Black Keys, a lot of their shit is blues. A lot of it is old blues. Like it sounds so similar to some great old blues. Sure.

Is that culture appropriation? I mean, I love them. Are you saying they should stop doing what I love to hear? No, come on. What are we doing? Yeah, that's crazy. But what is it? But you know what?

The other part of it is, how many people are really complaining about that stuff? It's a very small amount. So small. But it's enough where your friend got scared. He did get scared. And it literally amounts to probably three tweets. You know what I mean? It's like, but those people, that's the only noise.

People aren't saying, wow, I love that version because they just like it and they're normal people. It's these haters that just want to do it. But the people in control of it have to calm him and make him realize we've got your back that's wrong no that's they'll fucking fire him if it gets loud enough it doesn't have to make any sense yeah that's where it's squirrely dude they fired speaking of prairie home companion they fired garrison keeler i know they fired him removed his name from everything because he hugged a lady and his hand went down her back yeah and then he apologized sent her an email she said it's fine they went back and forth with it

didn't do anything else no history of sexual harassment sexual assault no history of anything terrible years later when all this me too stuff comes out she comes out with that yeah it was dirty business yeah it was dirty it's dirty but it doesn't it's not logical right it's like there's this fever feeding frenzy that goes on with these things this mob mentality yeah they just want to tear people down they want to tear people apart i really believe that you have to in all these situations is consider the source like you really have to consider it's like when the steroid thing went down there were like people came at barry bonds harder than everybody else because he had a rep for not being a good guy he people did not

like him regardless of that oh so when it happens people kind of did they come after him harder than they came after sammy sosa uh yes and yeah much harder than like andy pettit or you know i don't know who that is he's a pitcher for the yankees and he's just like a nice guy. But if somebody is a problem. Jose Canseco. Well, Jose Canseco was a problem because he ratted everybody out. Oh, yeah, that's right. He wrote that book called Juiced.

Yeah. Boy, that's interesting. Exposed to everything. That made him persona non grata. Kind of disappeared. He got written off from that book. Yeah. People just decided, fuck you.

Yeah. That's interesting, right? It is. It is. You had too much of a snitch, I guess. Yeah, man. People just didn't respect him after that. Because there were so many people that were also doing it, and he was the one that ratted everybody out and profited off of it.

There's some justice, some street justice in that. I just think that we have to be really careful with call. It's just there's also an issue that everyone has access to social media and everyone has the ability to complain about things. Yeah. Everybody. The whole world. Right. So there's a lot of noise.

A ton of it. Yeah. You get the real sound. Like there are things that happen that are really bad and when something happens it's really bad yeah the the twitter mob and the all the people that go after these people for something that's that's legitimately awful sure it makes sense yeah i mean it's there's there's justice to it yeah but there's also like this constant looking for targets yes that it seems like they're that's kind of like a hobby of some people.

Yeah. Like that is their thing. 100%. It's just to go out and pick people off. Yeah. It's awful. It is. It's a horrible thing.

It is. Because at its best, it's a really wonderful thing. Right. It's a celebratory thing that you have this community that you share with. And think about like you can see things from all around the world you could see cultures you could see young people doing amazing things and all these different little tiny spots around like i mean in so many ways yeah it's beautiful but then there's just like this little dark underbelly of like hate there really just is good and bad in the world and there are there is good and bad in the world and there are there

is good and bad in the world but there's also people that are just very frustrated and looking to vent that frustration as often as they can yeah whatever targets they find to be viable yeah it's not like they've carefully considered the issue and carefully considered this person's stance on it like no for me one of the big ones was the Roseanne Barr thing because Roseanne Barr, um, what she said seemed racist, right? You look at it on the surface.

She called that lady something like a cross between the Muslim brotherhood and the planet of the apes. Right. And like, well, Jesus, she's calling a black woman an ape. Yeah.

She said she didn't even know that woman was black. And then you see her photo and you go, Oh, okay. That woman is very racially ambiguous. I talked to her on the phone. She told me she did not know that woman. She goes, you really think that I would call a black lady Planet of the Apes?

I'm not fucking stupid. That was her literal words. She goes, I didn't know. She goes, I just was fucked up on Ambien and drinking all weekend and tweeting a bunch of stupid shit. Her own words. Right. She's like, I didn't know what I was saying. Right.

And no one cares, though. No one cares that you got a lady who has mental illness. Right. Like a history of mental illness. Is on a host of different medications. Is on Ambien as well. And drinking. And smoking pot.

No one cares. You compared a black woman to Planet of the Apes. Right. And then all these people made these memes where they put a photo of that woman next to that woman from the Planet of the Apes. Right. And you see why she was joking around about it,

but it's totally off limits. So they've decided she's this horrible racist. Forget about all her years of people loving her. Well, she also has, if you go back to the source kind of thing, it's like there's a picture of her dressed like a Nazi. Right, but she's Jewish. I know, but there's enough. She's always tweeting bombastic stuff. She's got issues.

It's not like somebody like Rachel Ray just making muffins and all of a sudden one tweet comes out. She's in that area. And I think when you're in that area and you're spewing hate and you're throwing fireballs and stuff, whether you have good intent or not, you're in that arena, you can get burned by it. Yeah, she's a shitster. You know what I mean? Yeah, she's a total shitster. We remember the national anthem.

She grabs her crotch and spits on the ground. Apparently, everyone fucking was super. She was scared after that because that's a patriotic thing. Oh, yeah. You don't fucking do that to America. No, people were mad. I remember that. The issue with Roseanne, to me, is not even that tweet.

Not even the recent Planet of the Apes one. It's an earlier one that she made five years ago which is much more racist oh really about yeah about susan rice where she said susan rice is a man with big swinging ape balls well that and and that's you're talking about an absolutely black woman yeah see there's not there's something there there's like that that's the thing it's the source it's like there's this person that has all of this kind of stuff and she's always going up to the line and not crossing it but maybe sometimes crossing it and then you do it you're gonna get popped do you remember when imus got kicked off the radio for saying about some

some gals who were athletes you called them nappyppy-headed hoes? Oh, yeah, of course. And that was like, whoa. Yeah. Man, you know, look, you want to play in those fire arenas? Right. You can get burned. Right. Occasionally you drop some bombs and it's great. Yeah.

And you make some, but if you're a shit stirrer. Right, if that's your thing. And you're trying to drop bombs occasionally. The shit's going to land on you sometimes. But it seems like racist bombs are the ones that get you burned the most. We have not healed as a nation. We're this very confused. It's like, you know, we grew up like with an alcoholic, dysfunctional fathers.

And there's like, there's a sickness. Like when you talked about how there's only 20 years between Hitler and my Volkswagen coming out. There's not that much time between that most heinous part of that to today. I mean, it's... Well, it's less than 200 years, which is two lifetimes. It's raw. Less than two lifetimes between us and slavery. I think like just recently, like the last person, last African-American person who was around during slavery just passed.

I mean, it's, you know what I mean? We never healed. We never had a discussion. We didn't go to therapy. And forget about just slavery. How about the civil rights movement? Yes. I mean, how about hosing people down with fire hoses and sticking dogs on them?

That was in, if not our lifetime, just before we were born. And still today today there's still you go to certain parts and people are popping stuff off and people you know as a white guy you walk around you hear people say shit that because they think you're they're safe around you and it's still around they look at you and like this guy has bread this guy just bakes bread and stays home that's why i do it i uh it's tricky you know what i mean like we have a that is our disease in our in our culture there is a disease that we haven't met it out yet so of course like any if you're gonna pop off about that you're gonna be that's why why are you why are you what's

in you that makes you feel like you need to tweet that off well if you're roseanne yeah that's her whole thing is getting this little reaction out of people. Yeah. I mean, a lot of comics, that's their thing, right? Saying little controversial things to get a spark out of people. That's fine. And look, I have a sensitivity that I don't even want to go in that arena because I don't even do well when people yell at me. When people yell around me, I don't like it. It's not because I don't even do well when people yell around me.

I don't like it. It's not me. Really. About anything? About anything. I don't like it. We're only here for a little while. Why are we going to fight?

That's where I live. But there's a sport to it. Yes. And there are people that do it who can read tweets calling them horrible things. And it just kind of bounces you know, bounces off them. They don't really care. Well, I don't think they read it. Is that what they do?

Yeah. Well, if you read tweets about people that say horrible things to you, I mean, are you going to respond to them? Are you going to engage in a dialogue? And then other people are going to join in? Are you going to respond to all of them? You won't have any time. There's no time. You won't't your whole day will be taken up with

that with new people jumping into the fray it's like if you want to have a fist fight with a mob a mob of people right you can't really do that yeah because it's you can have a discussion with a one-on-one person but if you fight a whole crowd of people like that kendrick lamar if that lady was like fuck you bitch i'll say that word, that's my song. And she just knuckles up and dives in the crowd and starts throwing haymakers, she's going to get fucking killed. But if she has a discussion with one of those white guys who's doing this boo-boo that was just yelling it at himself, you put them alone in a room. And she said, okay, tell me what I did was wrong. And he was like, well. Turn it to Ralphie Mayie may it's just fucked up it's just fucked up you can't use that word you know you

can't use that word it's like motherfucker you was saying it i watched you saying it no no i sang it with everybody else and i make the the noise with my face i like i open my mouth like i'm gonna say it but i don't say i was like i go no i don it, but I don't say it. I go, no. I don't say it. I don't say it. I kind of start it and then I let other people end it. I like do the end part or I'll do the guh part. I don't do the in between. I don't do a whole word because that way I'm not racist. It's so complex.

It's crazy. It's too crazy. But it's not complex. It's stupid. It is complex. But what's complex about that? Well, not just that issue. But what's complex about that to me is that you have a whole crowd of people.

Yelling it. Responding this way. Like, it's on their minds. Right. They're having these discussions that we are trying to move things forward. Other people are trying to move you back. That is complex. Well, who's trying to move it back?

Who's actively saying, I mean, other than like white nationalist groups that everybody pretty much hates other than themselves i guess who's trying to move it back and then other people who think that maybe that they're being that it's being reversed and that they're being hated on now when they you know white like young white kid who just wants to have a good time at the concert and saying wait but why are you attacking us i we're we're trying to be this way someone put up some things at a school that was criticized by a dean and was taken down they put up these signs that say it's okay to be white um google that because this was kind of crazy that this whoever this dean was or whoever it was that he said what eyes these people they put up these signs that said it's okay to be white.

Oh, right. And people were angry. Yeah, it's like White Lives Matter, that kind of thing. No, just that statement. It's okay to be white. Why would anybody have a problem with that? Why do you feel you gotta say that?

What are you thinking about people that aren't white? What are you going to do? Yeah, that's what I mean. It is complex. But is that complex or is that fucking stupid? Here it is. is sign saying it's okay to be white found at maryland high school found like a bomb yeah yeah okay uh what does it say something at 5 45 a.m and removed by staff before students arrive for classes also they them? We're taking this seriously. Oh my God. They sent a letter home to families informing them that the signs were discovered on 10

doors at 5.45 a.m. and removed by staff before students arrived for classes. We are taking this seriously and are investigating this incident, wrote Renee Johnson, the school's principal. Our research so far has indicated this may be a part of a concerted national campaign to foment racial and political tension in our school and community. The same flyer was posted in other cities and communities this week. Okay. But here's the question.

Do you disagree with the sentiment of that statement? It is okay to be white. It's okay to be Chinese. It's okay to be Indian. It's okay to be whatever the fuck you are. It's not okay to be racist. Maybe if they wrote, it's okay to be right, it's not okay to be Chinese. It's okay to be Indian. It's okay to be whatever the fuck you are. It's not okay to be racist. Maybe if they wrote, it's okay to be right, it's not okay to be racist. Maybe if they wrote that, would that be an issue? That would have been, that would have helped.

Right. That would have helped. When you, you know, you walk into your school campus and all of a sudden there's signs up everywhere that normally there are no signs. Well, if they, if they're a white person and they feel like they're being openly racially discriminated against, is it okay to say, say hey it's all right to be white is that okay yeah there's yes of course so what's wrong with that sign because you pop them up in the middle of the night and put them all up on it and you come in with your little lunch bag and you're going to

teach your spanish class and on your door is a sign that says okay to be white you just your knee-jerk reaction is, what are you doing? The flyers appear to be a part of an online campaign that is detailed on the web forum 4chan. Okay. But is that saying that 4chan's talking about this online campaign? Or is it saying that 4chan started this online campaign?

I would lean towards that because it was Halloween night and they discovered this article was posted November 1st. So it's not like it's just a fun Halloween prank, but people do do that stuff on Halloween. Yeah, it's totally okay to think it. It's like the guy with the bumper stickers all over his car. Those guys are a little more unhinged than the other people. It's like, yeah, I think it's okay to be white. Do I have to make a sign? Do I have to go get copies?

Do I have to get some tape? Do I have to sneak on campus? Do I have to put it up there? There was an article in Washington Post. Google this. This woman wrote this article, Why Can't We Hate Men? And it was published in the Washington Post. And it, of course, had a photo of harvey weinstein

who's a disgusting man right right and this is like the perfect example but that is literally like it's like does that mean all men the worst white man hitler yeah right and why can't we hate white men right because all white men are hitler why can't we hate white people is that what the article well the article i don't know what the article says. I didn't read it. But I mean, like, how could you write an article that says, why can't we hate men? Well, because you want to get... Unless you're trying to say we can't hate men because men are human and we've got to give everybody a chance and we can't generalize even if men have done horrible things.

I'd have to read it. I mean, it's definitely, the headline is made to make you want to read it. It's clickbaity. Yeah, it's clickbaity, exactly. It's fascinating. How about we just take the hate out, guys? Can't we just do that? Sweetie.

What's wrong with just? Tom Papa's a big sweetie. Come on. Can't we just get along? You are a big sweetie, Tom Papa. How long are you going to be here? How much time? I would much rather live in a world where you go with your grandfather and get a little get a little bread

and you come back home and they yell at each other and you make a meal you know what i mean like why are we spending all this time because i mean there's people that need to spend the time to move the culture and do things and protect themselves that's not what this is this is people trying to get attention for their work they're trying to get attention for their click baity little articles and click baity little things yes of course little campaigns against people that's what it is i mean people love that shit all i would have had to do with this book is is write something about trump in it and that people could soundbite right right and i'd and have a lot of people be like what is and get everybody talking about it right right that Right. That's what they're doing. They're trying to make up, make noise so people look at them and they make more money.

Well, and then there's also, I mean, there has to be a thought behind it, like that men have done some horrible, shitty things. So the, but the idea of why can't you generalize? Of course, well, you can't generalize because you're a nuanced human being. Right. And you're supposed to be able to understand. Thoughtful. Well, everyone is different.

Literally everyone. Yes. Every single. Well, everyone is different. Literally everyone. Yes. There's 150 million men. The idea of why can't you hate all of them? Well, you can if you want to, but it's a ridiculous way to live your life. No, exactly. Exactly. So it means, are you straight and you are attracted to men and you have to hate them all and quarantine yourself away from them?

There's a lot of those guys, right? There's a lot of really good people out there. It's Father's Day. How often does that have to happen with people who are homophobic, who hate gay people, who rally against gay marriage and rally against gay rights, and then you find out that they're really gay? Yes. Oh, my. All the time. All the time.

All the time. Almost every super religious guy who is anti-gay. they're really gay yes oh my all the time all the time all the time almost every everyone super religious guy yeah who is anti-gay some scandal always comes out oh he was sleeping with oh yeah yes oh it's they're so common it's cliche yeah i know right exactly yeah it's that many it's like you look for it when someone you know talks about gay it's a sin against man and yeah we should lock them up and we should do this oh oh oh someone's sucking dick on the sneak dip right oh let's follow that dude around yeah what you doing behind we're gonna find it we're gonna find it yeah they'll find it i mean that's that that is what people do i think what i like about what you're saying and how i feel too is

that we need to be nice to each other we. This whole idea of this gotcha bullshit and this attacking people for things that don't necessarily make sense without nuance, without the understanding of complexity of human interaction, with no concern for that at all, because you just want to target. We have to shun that stuff. Yeah, 100%. That stuff is just pure foolishnessness and it's bad for discourse it's bad for community it's bad for the way we communicate with each other it generates more hate and it's it's also a generalization a gross generalization which is just the same thing as

sexism it's the same thing as racism it's the same it's the same thing why can't we hate men is a gross generalization yeah like that state i don't know what the article said but that statement that's a gross general you can't because you're what the article said, but that statement, that's a gross generalization. You can't because you're a nice person. I assume you're a nice person. Because we don't hate. How about that? How about we try not to hate? You hate Justin Trudeau? That guy seems like

a sweetie. That guy seems awesome. Trump called him weak. In an amazing suit. Trump called him weak and dishonest. Yeah. No, I mean, you know, the culture has enough hate. I think the campaign has to be for more kindness. Look at that.

That's a great picture. Crazy photo. Him sitting there with his arms crossed and they're all leaning on the table. Just listen to us. Just listen to us. All angry. Mm-mm. Yeah.

He's like, no. No. I wonder what they're talking about right there. Like, should we go to lunch? I like spaghetti. We don't have spaghetti, Donald. We don't have spaghetti. Can't make spaghetti? Make some fucking spaghetti.

Could someone get spaghetti? Hey, make me a fucking pizza. Can't you just get what everybody else gets? I wonder what they were talking about there. That is a great picture, though. It's great with him being the only a great picture, though. Yeah. It's great with him being the only one sitting down, his arms crossed. He looks so spoiled. And her, the look on her face.

Yeah. She's like, ugh. Is that the woman from Germany? Yeah. Merkel. She's got problems of her own. I have to deal with this guy. His fist is on the table.

Oh, anger. Anger fist. Yeah. What are you doing for Father's Day? What do you nothing nothing just kind of hanging every day's father's day it's true yeah i don't want to i don't want any special treatment i don't i don't celebrate my birthday i don't want anybody to give me christmas presents i don't do they anyway of course but i don't i'm way. Yeah. Dad is just supposed to be there. I like having him around. I always tell him, I want to see your faces.

That's all I want. I got all the gifts. I got all the love. I got everything. If I get hugs every day, I'm more than happy. Totally. I don't want some fucking cake or some stupid shit. I don't want to go to brunch.

There's no Father's Day brunch. It's my day. It's my day. There's no Father's Day brunch. It's my day. It's my day. There's no Father's Day brunch. There's no, like, you know, having to race through the mall and get flowers for Father's Day. Just let us be and be around. From some woman heckled in Chicago. There was, like, I was talking about.

Actually, it's a pro-woman piece. was talking about i was actually it's a pro woman piece it's a piece about how we forget that women make all the human beings it's like this idea that women are supposed to do everything that men do plus but they also make all the fucking human beings so i i this it's a lot it's like this complex or twisty road that i take people down with this. Right. There's a lot of misdirection. Anyway, I say it, and then later on, I'm talking about something else, and this girl yells out, we make all the people. I'm like, I just said that. I said that five minutes ago.

I go, that bitch is one of those chicks that celebrates her birthday all month long. And everybody went crazy. It's my birthday month. But it's like, that's what I don't want to be. I don't want to be the person that wants the attention. No. Like, it's my father's day. It's father's day week.

The whole month is father's month. Finally, we're getting ours. No, no. We got it easy. I'm the, no. We got it easy. I'm the same way. We got it easy. Yeah. I just want them around in the house.

Let me see your faces. The reward is not a card or a cake. No. The reward is actually in being a father. It's the greatest thing ever. Yeah. Just hold my hand for a minute. Just come up and just be like, yeah, hug me.

Just a little squeeze and we're good. And I think they like that, too. Dads don't want you running through the mall trying to find stuff for us. And also, dads buy everything anyway. Dude, I went to the King Tut exhibit downtown yesterday. Amazing. Oh, yeah? It's crazy.

They have things there from 3,300 years ago. Wow. They constructed them 3,000 years ago. They have jewelry and these wooden boats that they found in King Tut's temple or his tomb. Ooh. Yeah. And they- Wow.

See, that's a bow and arrow that they had. Here's how stupid they are, though. Whoever put that thing together, it says compound bow. Hey, you fucks. You museum fucks. That's not a compound bow. Hey. Okay?

It's just not. It's a traditional bow, you asshole. A compound bow has cams on it, and it works on a totally different system. The fact that you fucking people are running a goddamn museum and you don't know what a compound bow is really pisses me off. Right, now there's a guy with glasses. I took a photo of it. Gee, Mr. Roken,

we just thought it was a bow and arrow. I took a photo of it and I took a photo of what it says, what it says there, because I was legitimately angry. I was reading this thing where it says compound bow. Here it says,

here's what it says. It says, gilded says compound bow. Here it says. Here's what it says. It says gilded wooden compound bow with glass and calcite inlay. It's not a compound bow! Well gee, Mr. Rogan, we thought it was a bow and arrow.

It's a ceremonial bow. A compound bow is like one of those bows that I have in the back. This is a very new, modern creation, you fuckheads. I love those bows that I have in the back. This is a very new, modern creation, you fuckheads. I love how you're in this big Egyptian thing with Tutankhamen. You're like obsessed with the bow and arrow. Well, I do get obsessed with it.

I know, because it means a lot to you. Well, yeah, and it makes me angry. You're wearing an archery shirt right now. Nobody has archery shirts. Nobody wears archery shirts. I fucking practice every day. To me, I'm a an archery shirt right now. Nobody has archery shirts. Nobody wears archery shirts. I fucking practice every day, dude. To me, I'm a person who's... That's like if I was looking at a jujitsu diagram and they said, this is Kung Fu, I'd

be like, hey, you fucks. Yeah, this is important. This is Brazilian jujitsu. Wait, could you go back to that? Yeah, that's boomerangs. I love boomerangs. They have boomerangs, though, but the boomerangs, the shape of them, they were not designed to come back.

Oh. It's interesting. I wonder when they figured out... That was designed as a weapon, but not enough of a curve for it to return to the thrower. So it just means to hit somebody 100 yards away. Yeah, I guess just a good way to throw something and hit it. I love boomerangs. They're pretty dope. Oh, they're cool. It's a a good way to throw something and hit it. I love boomerangs. They're pretty dope.

Oh, they're cool. It's a cool design. Oh, I would go find open fields and... Yeah. You don't catch it. It doesn't come right back. It comes back and sails slowly down in a spiral at the end. You know what's fucked up, though, about this King Tut exhibit?

You really got the sense that he was an inbred. Oh, really? The shape of his head was all fucked up he had a club foot like he was inbred he had uh two children that were all mummified with him that were um stillborn uh-huh so and he married his sister he his father had a baby with someone else and then he married his half-sister. Ew. And was banging his half-sister. Oh.

Which is what they did. They were constantly inbreeding in the royal families to try to keep the bloodline pure and to try to keep all the money in the family. Oh, boy. Yeah. That's weird. Dude, did you ever see his head? What his head was shaped like? Uh-uh.

Jamie, pull up a photo of King Tut's skull. King Tut's bean head. He had this weird-shaped, deformed skull and a club foot. And all the depictions of his body, yeah. Oh, weird. Yeah, his head, like, look how big his head, like, stuck up in the back. Oh, weird. He was essentially inbred.

Like, there was something wrong with him. Was he a good king? He was only around for a little while. He was a... It's just because we found his stuff. I mean... It's not like he had that much global impact, or did he? That's a good question.

I'm not sure. He's got a weird little head. The story is amazing of how they found it. And the exhibit, they have this this imax movie that goes along with the exhibit it's pretty fucking badass because the imax screen is gigantic right yeah so when you're there you get a real sense of how big these structures actually are right but they were looking for it for five years this guy this british guy and um this kid named hussein, he would get water for all the workers. He had these water pots, and they'd set them into the ground so that people could come and scoop water while they were digging.

The archaeologists. Yeah, while they were trying to find this tomb. And he found a step. He put the water bottle down, and he cleared some dirt dirt away and he found this flat rock just randomly. That flat rock was one of the stairs that led down to the tomb. And it was the only tomb that they ever found that was completely untouched. Really? Yeah.

That is the coolest. Yeah. Grave robbers had found every other tomb. Oh, really? The tombs were miles away from the pyramids because i mean they probably had tombs in the pyramids that were raided and then they they realized after a while like look we got to hide these things right so they took them way far out miles and miles away and they they put them in these like hillsides

and they but then thieves found them there too jeez so so was that one like underground did they build it that way or over time no it was underground it was underground yeah yeah wow that's amazing it's amazing what a cool way to discover something yeah dude one kid and he was the first one in the tomb too because he was tiny so when they busted the hole they busted a hole through the wall and he climbed in with a light and like shone around. You see anything down there, Billy? Well, yeah, that's part of the film is the archaeologists like looking through the hole and seeing like the gold and all this different stuff when they first chipped through the hole. Imagine something like that.

Oh, my God. Thousands and thousands of years completely untouched. Amazing. Oh, it's amazing. And then you take that one thing and a big giant rock ball starts rolling after you. Whoa, like Indiana Jones? Yeah. That's remarkable.

The exhibit is really interesting because they had a glove, a linen glove that was 3,000 years old. Really? Yeah, and you're looking at this linen glove and they had sandals. They had the sarcophagus and sandals. He had these sort of had sandals they had the sarcophagus and sandals like he had like these sort of um you know decorative sandals so how long were they making that stuff even before then if that's three thousand years so even before that i had a guy on really recently um dr robert shock from boston university and he's a geologist and he is one of the he's one of the first people to propose the idea, like one of the first real scholars to propose the idea that the Sphinx is far, far older than people think it is.

And that it's not from 2500 BC, but it's from way before that, perhaps maybe 10,000 years older than that. Because it has water erosion, all of it, that can only have come from thousands of years of rainfall. Yeah. Yeah, dude, it's crazy. So what's the implication of that? The implication is, well, his take on it, which is really interesting, and he really scared the shit out of me and blew my mind. coronal injections, so something from the sun, some gigantic solar flare that created unbelievable havoc on Earth. He was talking about lightning storms that were like the lightning coming down like sheets

of rain in a hurricane and that it just covered parts of the earth with lightning and killed everything and killed off mass just mass numbers of human beings large mammals all that i mean it's responsible for there's a there's a big mass extinction that we really don't understand what caused somewhere in that range of around 10 000000 years ago. Right. And he attributes that to this mass coronal ejection and that this huge sun, this burst of energy from the sun caused these unbelievable chaotic storms that killed who knows. I said, so is it like a thunderstorm times 100? He's like, no, times a million. He was like sheets. times a hundred. He's like, no, times a million. He was like sheets of- Times a million.

Sheets of lightning coming down like rain in a hurricane. Oh my God. Just imagine lightning just cooking the earth. For like a long period of time or just like one big storm? Long period of time. So the sun just kept shooting stuff? People just started living in caves and they built these dwellings inside the earth because that was where they could survive. They could survive where the radiation wasn't coming down.

It wasn't going through the earth to get to them. What? So houses, tents, anything that you lived in that was outside, those people were dead. The only people that lived were the people that had their houses carved into hillsides. Is there evidence of this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Geological evidence.

Is it a mainstream thing or is it his kind of... Well, the fact that that's possible is mainstream. Right. Whether or not it happened then is up for debate. Gotcha. It's also the end of the ice age and he thinks that's the reason why all these ice caps melted and this was what caused it. Oh, that was part of that.

Caused a massive shift in the global temperature. Jeez. That's crazy. I was just reading a thing about the Ice Age yesterday in the Times about how the ice changed Manhattan, all the five boroughs. That's kind of where the ice kind of came down to, was around there, and seeing how it receded and what it left behind. But the civilizations weren't really living around then right what do you mean during the ice age of course there were they were well there were some civilizations i mean there's established civilizations like there's some

structures africa or well there's some structures that have been absolutely linked to that time a big one is gobekli tepe which which is in Turkey. And they've absolutely dated that to 12,000 years ago. So what's fascinating about that is they didn't know that people were capable of building these gigantic stone structures 12,000 years ago. And they've only uncovered a very small amount of Gobekli Tepe. It's a huge, huge site. So do you think that there's still tons of stuff we could discover out there that hasn't been tapped yet, like under the oceans? Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Well, if people – I want to find it. If these guys are right – and here's the thing. What they think is that there's been – there was a big dip. what his term that he used to describe it but it was um the there was a dark age that was created by these mass ejections and that the civilization particularly in egypt had reached a very high level of sophistication when they were capable of building these gigantic stone structures and right they had all this uh amazing architecture and engineering in order to move these huge stones.

And then there was a big die-off in that for thousands of years, people essentially were knocked back almost down into the Stone Age and then regrouped. But this cataclysmic story, this story is in Noah's Ark. It's in the Epic of Gilgamesamesh which is from sumer which is where iraq is like they all talk about talk about these great floods and cataclysm is chaos and god punished everyone and everyone died this is like a part of human history which is many different versions of like right what exactly happened yeah but he's pointing to geological evidence, which is fascinating because at one point in time, around 9000 BC, the Nile Valley was not all sand the way we see it now, but it was a tropical rainforest. And so for thousands of years before that, it was, you know, torrential downpours and rain and that all this was the reason why the Sphinx enclosure has these deep fissures that are indicative of rainfall and water erosion for thousands of years. Not just instantaneous flooding from some giant event, but from thousands of years of rainfall.

Of rain. Yeah. Just constant rain. Yeah. The idea is the current established timeline is that the Great Sphinx was created somewhere around the time that they believe the Great Pyramids were created. Now, the Great Pyramid, they've done carbon dating that indicates that that was somewhere around 2500 BC. He thinks that that was built over an older site that was from many, many years before that. And he has all these photos of similar construction methods that they've done where they've taken a really old site from maybe many, many thousands of years ago and put something over that. Sort of like the Greeks did.

Yeah, like this build on top. With the Parthenon and the Acropolis. Right. They built it over the Acropolis. Right. Over an old thing. Yes. That they don't even know where the fuck it came from.

They don't know where that old thing, where it's from. So the idea is that this old thing in Egypt in particular is a product of an old civilization from many, many, many thousands of years ago. Wow. So long ago that the distance and the gap between the people who built the pyramids and the people who originally built the Sphinx is far greater. Far greater than our distance between us and the people who built the pyramids. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, man.

That's amazing. This is how fucking crazy it is. It's so crazy. But think about this. Cleopatra, she's closer to the creation of the iPhone than she is to the creation of the pyramids. That's the real deal. Really? Yes.

That's established Egyptologists, archaeologists. This is not controversial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is just a fact. Jeez, that's cool. But they think that at 2,500 BC, that represents only the new construction in Egypt. And that before that, if you go to 10,000 BC and before there was a whole nother civilization there. Jeez, that's amazing.

Yeah, it's amazing. And that this is when 10,000 plus years ago, this is when these cataclysmic events happened and all these people died off and much of what they knew back then was lost. Right. And then they rebuilt. What's so scary about that is that uh it sounds like it could happen any day oh right like something could happen with the sun and all of a sudden we're dealing with some other right some big solar flare comes at us and we're in trouble what did it say jimmy there's an article in business insider about coronal mass injections

like high coronal mean go back to that this is a different thing though coronal mass injections. What's coronal mean? Go back to that. This is a different thing, though. Coronal sounds like eyeball. What did you just say? High-speed solar winds increase lightning strikes on Earth. Yeah, but what was that last one, though? Coronal mass injection. Do you have to subscribe or something?

I don't know. I had it up for five minutes, and I just went back. It was all red. But it was saying that they could hit us in a matter of... Go back to that article. Come on. Why don't you go back to that article? We want that article. It's not letting me go back to it. What do you mean? What's it doing? It's could hit us in the matter. Go back to that article. Come on. Why don't you go back to that article? We want that article.

It's not letting me go back to it. What do you mean? What's it doing? It's not. It's acting weird. I've got to find it again. It's King Tut. This is what happened with Indiana Jones.

Then he can't go back. Why isn't it? There it is. We're shockingly unprepared for an extreme. Oh. Oh. It looks like you're using an ad blocker. Just disable the ad blocker.

Business Insider, isn't it? Here it goes. We're shockingly unprepared for an extreme weather event that could fry Earth's power grid. Now, that's something that, what did he say it happened? What year did he say that it happened? You don't want that to happen. The Carrington event was 1859. Yeah, an 1859 event.

Oh, yeah? If it happened today, it would completely, and this is a documented event. I mean, where like Transformers blew up, all these different, where they would do the Morse code and shit. Yeah, yeah. All that shit fucking exploded. All the Pony Express. It exploded because of this coronal mass ejection or a gigantic solar flare. And this is a documented one. And they're saying if this documented one, this Carrington event happened today, we'd be fucked.

All the electric would yeah we wouldn't have to go on twitter anymore yeah that would be amazing yeah but you also wouldn't be able to go to the grocery store and your tesla wouldn't work but i would get my compound bow and go hunt for my food not that fucking piece of shit in the museum that's so crazy that we've what's crazy is that you were these civilizations were able to build up and they get knocked all the way back and then build up a similar way right if if you're talking about the egypt one yeah right they came back kind of in a similar way if the pyramids and the sphinx are that far apart yeah that there was something in the dna in the in the brain space that was that evolved they tried to come back the same way well pretty

interesting um if not the same way in in a similar way yeah i mean some of the people survived right and some of the people that survived must have had some knowledge of the construction they pass it down from generation to generation but you, you're dealing with thousands and thousands of years where they weren't building things like that. And then they figured out a way to do it again. Yeah. It's interesting. How the fuck did they become so smart?

That's what's interesting. Because the Great Pyramid. Perhaps. Maybe they just had superior genetics. But it's also what they were showing in this video that I watched in the IMAX thing yesterday was that the area was so unbelievably fertile that there was so much of an opportunity for them to grow food. That they had a chance to sort of establish a civilization because it was such a rich area with natural resources. I know. Establish a civilization and that civilization just kept advancing and moving forward. And that it was all eventually weakened by civil turmoil.

That civil turmoil, then the pharaohs lost their power. And as the pharaohs lost their power, then they were invaded. Ah. Yeah. From across the sea. Yeah. Well, no. From inside of Africa. well no from inside of

Africa over inside Africa yeah if you look at yeah the Nubians took over Egypt at one point in time yeah well different you know different people in Africa were going over there and looking at all the shit they had and also the library of Alexandria was burned by the Muslims was it it a lush area? Like when I picture Egypt, I picture like a desert. No. Right? Is it? No, the Nile. Right.

The Nile is a river. Right. And the river, like where the wetlands were, it was filled with animals and they grew food there. Right. And what they're thinking by this predating of the Sphinx with Dr. Robert Schock, his proposal is that it was initially created back when it was a rainforest

and was unbelievably lush, so incredibly fertile. And then slowly the climate shifted. And that climate shift could have corresponded with that coronal mass ejection. So it could have been some sort of a massive event that slowly or even rapidly shifted the climate. I would like to go over and see it. I'm a little scared to go there. Me too. You and me both, buddy.

Yeah, that would be a cool... I mean, what else would you want to see that's that profound? Dude, when they're walking, when you watch the IMAX movie, I can't recommend enough. It's quick, too, if you have short attention span. It's like 45 minutes. Right. But when you watch them walk um next to these enormous statues yeah

i mean these fucking statues of the pharaohs are so big that you see these little tiny people walking by and you realize like oh my god right look at this these people had done something unbelievable yeah this the pyramids and the sphinx though There's so much of that stuff. There's so much. And why just there? Exactly. Right? Exactly. What did they figure out?

Yeah. How did they? What happened? Why were they the only ones at the time? I mean, it has to be connected to resources, right? Because if you go today, there's parts of the world where people are, you know, and some impoverished parts of Africa in particular where they don't have a lot of resources or people are fucked. Right.

And they don't have any opportunity and they're in a terrible place and it's just a really, really shitty time to be alive. You're not advancing. At the same time, you can go to like the Bay Area and go to some artisanal cheese shop and ride around your electric car and you know what I mean? Yeah. No, exactly. yeah no experiencing that on earth yeah simultaneously yeah it's just purely what's available yeah yeah like and what minds like how many elon musks did they have in the egyptian times right because it was just us

you and i yeah we're kind of dumb right let's be honest yeah not that bright yeah we're not inventing tunnels underneath the fucking just getting by yeah if we smoked a joint and started talking about this is what we would do dude would make fucking tunnels and then your car goes in the tunnel and shoots around like i love that idea fucking crazy bro fucking love that idea but nobody would take us seriously and nobody would let us dig and then we'd just fall asleep yeah just forget about it yeah but yeah must have been a bunch of elon musk's back in the egyptian time well that's what's amazing is like there's this there's like this uh genius iq where like all the magic happens yeah you know like where the einsteins live where the like those big yeah where those big leaps

kind of happen and everybody else could be really smart, but not to that level where you're actually shifting the world. Right. You know? And maybe that's what happened. Maybe there was just one genetic freak in the Egyptian world that was there because of their diet and stuff. They were able to survive.

And it could have been a slow process, too, because you're dealing with thousands of years of prosperity too yeah over thousands of years they have many many many generations to think things through i mean right think about what's happened on this continent just over 200 years just 200 go back 200 years ago nothing's here yeah that. That's crazy. Just 200 years ago. Yeah, go to 1818. So where are we going to be like thousands, 2,000, 3,000 years ahead? Here. Just here. Yeah.

Especially if you let Elon Musk make his tunnels everywhere. Oh, there's going to be so many tunnels. So many tunnels. It's going to be awesome. We're going to get to the Grand Canyon in 10 minutes. A little pod. But that is, what is this, Jamie? That's all there was in 1818 of the United States.

Missouri Territory. Wow. Wow. That's nuts. That's only 100 years ago. Look how much Spain owned. New Spain. Vice royalty of New Spain is all Texas, California, Arizona, Nevada.

Yeah. That looks like Montana, Colorado. Jeez Louise. Then look at the Oregon County. Yeah. Oregon country. Wow. Shared with United Kingdom.

The whole Northwest. Shared with United Kingdom. Nobody had. Oregon country. Michigan territory. Missouri territory. Michigan was on both sides of the lake Look at that

Is it? Yeah So Michigan is on the left and the right of the lake? Little P, the UP, Upper Peninsula Oh, but not the right side where it says Michigan Territory That's not Michigan anymore That's Michigan The other side is Minneapolis

That's where Detroit and all that stuff is And then there's the Upper Peninsula up above Wisconsin Right, but the other side is not Michigan They're not both Michigan Right, that'sapolis right here it is up there in the corner yeah yeah but where it says michigan territory oh that's wisconsin right that's what i'm saying oh my bad sorry it says it right there it says michigan on both james was just hit with a solar flare he just lost his mind look at us disputed between massachusetts and the colony of New Brunswick, UK. So that's Maine, right? Because they have Massachusetts.

Everyone's just grabbing. But Maine was like, we're not sure what we're going to do with it. What? We might keep it. We might not. You realize how fucking far up there Maine is? There's a lot of mosquitoes up there. Like Maine, like Massachusetts, when you look at where Massachusetts is,

and then you go above Massachusetts where Massachusetts is. Yeah. You know, and then you go above Massachusetts. Yeah, Maine's, Maine's big. First place that gets sunlight in the morning. Fucking giant, man. Yeah, huge. Right. And where's New York? New York right down there.

Look at that. Right next to Little Vermont. Look how New York goes. Yeah. So look at Massachusetts. So Massachusetts was two places. Look. It was Massachusetts and it was Maine.

Right. Look at that. See, because there's two Massachusetts then, just like there's two Michigans. I'm going to keep all of it. So this is 1818? I want all of it. Is that Ted Kennedy? It's my Kennedy.

Wow, look at all that, man. Alabama territory, Georgia, South Carolina. So all those fucked up southern states are still there. Tennessee. All filled with Native Americans. We just came in and like, let me have this. I'm taking that. Well, Texas, man.

It's so brutal. I mean, Texas, they were fighting off the Cheyenne. I mean, those ranchers, that was not established territory. That's one of the reasons why Texans are so fucking hard, man. They have to fight. Yeah. They were, at one point in time, they were a republic before they were a state. They were like this weird thing where they were kind of like not even a part of the United States.

Oh, really? Yeah. Just so wild. That just happened. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking thousands of years for your little toots That just happened. Yeah, yeah. We're talking thousands of years for your little toots and commons.

Yeah, your little fucking, the little guy with his club foot. Your little bonehead. Yeah. Wow, that was thousands of years after King Tut. People were taking wagons and going across the route. Just going. Yeah. Yeah. How crazy is that?

Think of that. 3,000 years later, people are still shooting bows and arrows at each other. Yeah. How crazy is that? Think of that. 3,000 years later, people are still shooting bows and arrows at each other. Yeah. 3,000 years later, just completely wide open. Yeah. So why, right. So why weren't the Native Americans before we got here putting up those big statues? Well, they lived a very different life.

Yeah. They lived a nomadic hunter-gatherer life. Right. And they have this incredible spiritual connection to the land and to the animals that they hunted. And they had a very, very fascinating, I mean, there's a bunch of different, of course, Native American cultures. Right. But they had a very fascinating connection to their earth and to the animals and the

worship that they had. Yeah, amazing. The reverence they had for the animals and for life. The trees. It's just crazy when you think about how people were living in Europe at the same time. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Just completely a totally different thing.

Yeah. Getting syphilis, wearing powdered wigs, banging their sisters. Yeah. So when they showed up and had gunpowder and all the rest of it, the Native Americans didn't stand a chance. What's crazy to me, too, is how many people that were Westerners, they joined Native American tribes and were living with them. Oh, really?

It was really common. Like Kevin Costner? Yeah, it was common. Yeah? It happened, and no one moved the other way. Like, no one went the opposite way. No, they were forced to. Native American cultures decided, eh, I'm going to move to the way. No, they were forced to. No one from the Native American cultures decided,

eh, I'm going to move to the city. No. Those are the saddest pictures of all time when you see those Native Americans putting suits and ties and hats and standing there having to take pictures. Those pictures are so weird. Hard shoes in a city. Oh, brutal.

It's so bad. You know what must have been really interesting? We're talking about your VW, which was from 20 years after the war with the Nazis. Yeah. What about those Wild Bill Wild West shows? Yeah. They had those Wild West shows where they had men who had killed a bunch of colonists. Yeah.

And there's a guy, I think his name was mall um it was this giant indian guy who's this fucking murderer who'd killed a bunch of the uh settlers uh-huh and he was they would tour with him wild bill would tour with this guy and they would do on their their wild west show they shoot guns and do like put on a show pretend to fight each other kind of things for people it was like a recreation of what it must have been like when they captured territory from the Native Americans. Oh, my God. They do these Wild West shows, man.

That's how they made their living. Jeez. It became a big thing. It was like the movies. See if you pull up the Wild West shows from the 1800s. Yeah, I'm looking up. A fascinating time, man. Isn't that crazy?

Because just after this had all happened. That was how you were telling stories. Yeah. Nobody knew about it. You'd get your little weird newspaper. Dude. You'd read a little story. No one really knew what was going on.

Imagine how little you knew what was going on back then. You knew nothing. You knew nothing. Yeah. A town crier would come in. Here he, here he. Maine gave up the top of it. It's now Massachusetts.

No one knew anything back then. Nothing. Look at that. Pawnee Bill's shows, the only genuine Wild West. Yee-haw. Touring America this season. Over 1,000 people and horses employed. Wow. Every equestrian nation in the world represented wow

two performances daily weird and startling free street parade look at that name calamity jane i love this this is just a show business guy i wonder if there was a comedian in it wild west shows man and this was like early 1900s late 1800s yeah when was it it says 1902 i see 1903 1903 wow so this is you know that'd be pretty cool like for a young kid years after the you know they were still going to war with the native americans is that a picture of it over there crazy uh yeah there's another one they had a reenactment they did like Custer's Last Stand and train robberies and stuff. Can you imagine people would go to see that in 1901 in Buffalo, New York? You had no movies. You had nothing.

Yeah. This was your movie. Oh, my God. It must have been amazing. And you still had to try to make sense of it all. What happened? Yeah. How did we get here?

Especially, like you said, having the real guy there who you know could at one point just turn on everybody and start killing the people in the audience yeah yeah there was one guy who was this giant see if you could find that native american uh wild west shows i think his name was mall mall i think that was his name trying to remember his name look at buffalo bill look at that just a showman and sitting bull he was a movie star hanging out together jeez jesus christ look i'm sorry we took all your land but listen just hear me out i've got an idea we put some makeup on each other and we go out and we do these shows listen we got whiskey we got a lot of white women a lot of white women a lot of whiskey we tour around we make money we charge these dopes we do two shows a day and we're out do you think women We got whiskey. We got a lot of white women. A lot of white women. A lot of whiskey. We tour around.

We make money. We charge these dopes. We do two shows a day and we're out. Do you think women were like into these guys? They'd see them. They're like, oh my God, look at them. Look at them. They'd probably scalp people.

Yes. He avenges Custer by killing and scalping yellow hair, also called yellow hand, which he called the first scalp for Custer. Jeez. Jeez. Yeah, big ass show the first scalp for Custer. Jeez. Jeez. Yeah, big ass show. But here's the thing, man. That just happened.

All of this just happened. We're talking about 1900. I know. 118 years ago. It's almost a human lifespan. Yeah. It's like this convergence of human beings is so recent. What killed these more, probably like movies and radio?

Yeah. People are like, ah, fuck. For sure. Probably. It looks like a movie production. Plus, they probably shot each other a bunch. I'm sure there was some venereal disease involved. Oh, yeah.

They probably all died of fucking herpes or something. Didn't they? They had guns. They were actually shooting guns off, right? They had competitions and shoot-offs. It was a three to four hour show. Well, that's why the Western was such a popular movie

for decades because it was so fresh in people's minds. I mean, you had grandparents that, you know, knew this stuff. Right.

When you think about like the 1950s Westerns, they're only 100 years after the fact. Yeah. Right. That's like us watching something about something that happened

during the Depression. Yeah. Like Once Upon a Time in America or something like that yeah yeah yeah right that is the coolest but it's what's so funny about it's just show business it's it's like the beginning of show business yeah well he figured out posters i mean all of it how much of it has really changed you know you put on big show. You make a cool poster. You get these people to come and buy tickets. 2.5 million tickets sold. Wow. Wow.

You know what's really fucked up, dude? There was no comedy back then. No stand-up. Well, that's what I was going to ask. Mark Twain. When was Mark Twain running around? Because he was kind of like the first stand-up. He would go do these shows, and he writes about it like it's a stand-up performance.

When was he traipsing around? Well, they do say that he was probably the first. Yeah, he was talking about things that didn't work for a laugh. Oh, wow. Yeah. Hal Holbrook's touring as him. He's always touring as him. I didn't know that was a good thing.

Well, when did he live? What was the lifespan of Twain? So that's an interesting case. You know, in Mark Twain, they use the N-word all the time in Huckleberry Finn. Oh, yeah. Big time. And they're removing that now. They're removing it?

Removing it. Who is? They're editing it and removing it from the books. The publishers? Yeah. Oh, come on. I mean, you want to learn about a culture learn about a time well one of the characters in huckleberry finn one of the main characters was

nigger jim yeah that was his friend yeah yeah that they removed that the n-word really yeah that's not weird accurate well that's well that's well that's sanitizing history and that's not accurate. Well, that's sanitizing history, and that's a mistake, because you don't learn from that. Jamie, pull that up. Pull up the censoring of Tom Sawyer, or Huckleberry Finn. Mark Twain had to build a little writing room out on his lawn so he could smoke his cigars out there because his wife wouldn't let him smoke cigars. So he built himself a little shed to go sit out there and smoke. Good for him. I just want to see when his lifespan was.

Old Twain. He was funny. You ever read Twain? Yes, he was very funny. Really? Like cutting. What does it say here, Jamie? Replace the word with the word slave. Whoa. Okay, look at this a new effort to sanitize huckleberry finn comes from alan gribbon a professor of english at auburn university at montgomery alabama who has produced a new edition of twain's novel that replaces that

word with slave um appears in the book more than 200 times was a common racial epithet of, okay, duh, used by Twain as part of his character's vernacular speech and as a reflection of the mid-19th century social attitudes along the Mississippi River. There is a... So an effort, but that doesn't mean that it's been done. There's a ride at Disneyland. I want to say it's either Splash Mountain or I think it is Splash Mountain.

Splash Mountain at Disneyland, which was based on a really racist old cartoon that you can't get anymore called Southern Tales. I think it's called Southern Tales. It's the Himalayan thing? No, no, no. That's the Matterhorn. Oh, Spl's the Himalayan thing? No, no, no. That's the Matterhorn. Oh, Splash Mountain. Oh, with the briar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah, that was very racist. Briar bear or briar fox. Yeah, briar fox. Briar fox. Briar fox. Yeah, that whole thing is like a southern ride.

And there's all these singing ducks. It's a southern ride, and there's all these singing ducks. And we went with a guide, and the guide was explaining to us that this was all based on a really racist old thing that you can only get bootleg copies of now. Ah, really? Yeah. It's a super racist old cartoon. Well, they had the Tar Baby thing.

Well, what is it? It's Southern Tales, right? Is that what it's called? I'm trying to find the name. I just keep seeing Briar Fox listed a bunch of times. Song of the South telling the story. Song of the South. I think that's the name of it.

I think it's called Song of the South. I think that's it. I think that's the name of it. Right. Now that I think about it. Yeah. But it was apparently super racist. Yeah, I believe it.

There was a lot of bad stuff back then. What is it? Is this it? Is this it? Zippity-doo-dah. Yeah, this is Zippity-doo-dah. They sing this in the movie. Zippity-doo-dah.

Is this racist? So why is this racist? Well, that's what they're asking. Is this racist? Song of the South. Well,, that's what they're asking. Is this racist? Song of the South. Well, right now it's just the guy singing. Yeah. I don't think this is the racist part.

I think the reason why you can get this online is because it's not the racist stuff. Uh-huh. Because this is just a guy singing Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder. Zippity-doo-dah Yeah. My, oh my.

So, Song of the South. See if you can find Song of the South. This is the clip that popped up when I Googled it. Yeah. 81% liked it. Look at Rotten Tomatoes, 7.3 on IMDb. So it's on IMDb? About 1946. Wow.

Maybe it wasn't. Mark Twain died in 1910. So that means that he was walking around as an old dude doing these performances, you know, late 1800s. Yeah. And so maybe that was kind of the beginning of stand-up comedy. Go back to that. Go back to that page you were just on and that Snopes article on it where they do a fact check

on the Song of the South. You see it up there? Yeah, I was going to... What does it say? I was going to double check it before I wanted to see what they said on the Snopes, but it says it's true.

What does it say about it? Can you pull it up? I'm sorry, yeah. I thought I had it up. Oh, Song of the South and NAACP. Is Song of the South unavailable on video in America because of the NAACP threats.

Status, true. Wow. Yeah. So is that racist? I wonder what it was. There was so much racist shit back then. Briar Rabbit. I'm sorry.

Briar Fox, Briar Bear. Why Briar? What does that mean? A briar, like stuck in a briar. But B-R-E-R. That's the way you got to say it. Yeah. Brayer Rabbit, Brayer Fox, Brayer Bear.

So that was the idea that they're stuck in briars? The minstrel tradition of Uncle Remus stories, the major objections to the Song of the South, had to do with the live action portions. The film had been criticized both for making slavery appear pleasant and pretending slavery didn't exist even though the film that's kind of you're caught in between like finish that finish what you just said even though the film like harris original collection of stories is set after the civil war and the abolition of slavery still as folklorist patricia writes yeah that's fascinating so

that's kind of interesting especially when you talk about the when you talk about uh the um uh huckleberry finn part like they're saying okay take that out yeah and then then this one they're saying they had an objection to making it seem like slavery didn't exist right that's why you can't take it out of huckleberry Finn, because you need to know that this existed. We need to deal with it and understand it rather than sanitize it. The problem is defending it. Like, you can't, you really, it's almost impossible to defend that, the use of that word. Like, if you wanted to defend the use of that word, you say, well, we want to put that word back in a book people like what are you racist right but you can't you know you

that this is talking rationally this is history yeah right exactly rational right there's no rationality when it comes to dangerous forbidden words right as you saw from the kendrick lamar concert right right i mean that's yeah I wonder what Twain would say. Do you think that ultimately, like, this is all going to sort itself out? Like, there's all this political correct craziness and this kind of shit that this is just a little rough patch of chaos that we get through on our way to establishing a new way of communicating with people, a new way of appreciating each other. And that, you know, all this, even the anti-white racism and anti-male sexism and all this stuff, it's just a, you know, the wave going this way, and then it'll go that way and then it'll settle in the middle. And then we're learning from even these missteps, like why can't we hate all men or, you know, anything like that, that we learn from these missteps and the outrage that goes these missteps and we say oh i understand why this woman feels this way she's probably abused by men and dealt with asshole men and asshole bosses and see these people like harvey weinstein in the

mainstream media that have abused and violated and victimized women yeah and that it's going to balance itself out and the only way it does is you have to have outrage and then correction. Yeah. I mean, that's the way history seems to go. It seems like, you know, there's, you would think in certain ways like, oh, we don't have to work that hard to abolish these evils. But then evil pops up again and it feels like, okay, no, it's still here. We still have to deal with it.

Yeah. And you just hope at the end we all end up like Bruno Mars. We all look like Bruno Mars. And everybody's happy because no one knows who what anybody is yeah just having a good time and we're all a little darker not totally white not totally black and everybody's but wait a minute but what about white people i like looking at white people i like some white people i like i like the whole i like the fact that we have variety in the way people look. Some people look like Seal, and some people look like... Who's like a super white lady? Tom Cruise is ex-wife.

Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman. That bitch is white as fuck. Jessica Chastain. Yeah, white. So white you're almost red. Yeah, it is good to have a nice mix. Fuck, man.

It's everything. It's fascinating. We're still these very tribal, you know, we talk about all these thousands of years and what we've done and where we've come. But there's still like this just instinctual tribal element to a lot of humanity. You got to have a dick like an axe handle to wear your shirt like that. Look at that shirt. Look at his shirt all the way down to his belly button with gold chains hanging out

with a white trench coat. Yeah. No, you're packing. And he's got sunglasses on at night, which is always a bold move that really only black people can pull off. Yeah, exactly. Just owning it. Look at him.

Slanging dick and singing songs. Doodah, doodah. He, um, you don't hear about him anymore, man. Well, you never na-na-na-na. Dude, when I first moved to California, when I first got some

money, I was on this television show. One of the first things I bought was a stereo. Yeah. I always loved some money, I was on this television show. One of the first things I bought was a stereo. Yeah. I always loved good music, so I bought the stereo, and I bought Seal. And I remember listening to Kiss by a Rose from the Grave or whatever the name of that song is. Kiss by a Rose. But that song, I never realized because I never heard it on a good stereo before, but I had these two speakers.

And there's all these layers and piano tunes and keys. Yeah. There's all this stuff that comes out of, you know, when you're sitting in front of like good speakers, you hear all the layers to the music and I'd be like, wow. It was like hearing it new all over again.

Oh, it was so like hearing it new. Yeah. He was, I mean, I guess he still is. He's still alive, but he is so fucking talented, man.

Yeah, a real artist. And so different than, like, try naming someone who sounds like Seal. Yeah. I can't. The Black Keys? No, no, no. He's a fucking original, man. Yeah. Super original. He's a fucking original, man. Yeah.

Super original. Phosphorescent. I don't know. He's got a very unique style. Yeah. There's a lot of those. Well, what's unique about it, there are a lot of artists that have this really crazy kind of unique style, but they don't become accepted from the mainstream, by the mainstream.

Right? You listen to KCRW in the morning, and there's, like, a lot of weird experimental stuff, but not that many people know they exist. Seal was able to make that, like, a poof. So you're one of those hipsters that listens to that channel. You and Henry Wallens are KCRW. I like KCRW in the morning.

I don't know. Morning sounds eclectic. I haven't listened to radio in a decade. For real? Yep. Where do you get your new music? I don't. Oh, come eclectic? I haven't listened to radio in a decade. For real? Yep. Where do you get your new music? I don't. Oh, come on, Joe.

That's right. Now I know what to get you for Father's Day. What do we got here? Is this Seal? I'm going to get you some albums. Is this recent? No, no, no. Oh, this is VH1.

VH1. Is VH1 a thing anymore? This is when he was peaking. VH1's still around? It is still around. It's still a channel with the Real Housewives and all that. Yeah, I think they do. Really?

Or maybe that's on E. I don't know. That's Bravo. All right. Well, then I didn't know. Yeah, I think they do. Really? Or maybe that's on E. I don't know. That's Bravo. Alright, well then I didn't know. They used to play those like real... They do like reality shows and stuff. Yeah. Loving basketball or loving hip-hop or something. Oh, they do that stuff. Kissed by a rose.

Why did he have face bubbles? You mean his scarring? Yeah. I don't know. Was that acne? Yeah, there's an article from three days ago that had that info. Oh, really? Just three days ago? People are still thinking about it. I don't know why someone was asking.

People are still asking. Well, he was so good. But his body of work has just radically dropped off. A lesson in lupus. He had lupus? Oh. Oh, wow. That's where he's got the scarring from his face, from lupus.

Oh, wow. Interesting. Isn't that amazing? You could have that all out on your face and still be like, no, man, I am beautiful. And you're going to think it, too. Well, not really. You don't get new music? You don't listen to new music?

I don't even know what it is. Come on, Joe. I told you, I like Bruno Mars. He's new. Yeah, he's new. That got to you somehow. Kid Cudi just dropped a new album this week. Yeah, it's too moody.

It's too moody. Listen to you with your white privilege. You son of a bitch. Yeah, you're appropriating. Kid Cudi. Is it moody? Yeah. It's depression-based music.

He's getting his feelings out kind of stuff. Yeah. He deals with a lot of mental illness. You don't like it. You like people who bake bread and cookies and shit. Ah, I love it. You don't like moody shit, do you? I do love moody stuff.

I've listened to him. He's one of those that proved himself so early. I just love it so that I just get whatever he puts out. Wilco's like that. He's like that. It's just like... So you're into the hip hop? A little bit.

I try, but you know. Do you like older stuff? Older hip hop? Do you like Gangstar? No. How dare you? Put that book down and get the fuck out of here. How do you not like Gangstar?

I don't even know Gangstar. I'm so sorry. You hurt my feelings. Come on. Where were you in the 90s? I was around. You weren't around. In the 90s, early 90s, Grateful Dead was the end of the dead.

Grateful Dead? Did you like the Grateful Dead? Almond Brothers. Did you like the Grateful Dead? Almond Brothers. Almond Brothers. That's gangsta. I was listening.

Do yourself a favor. Download a decade of hits. I was listening to Tribe Called Quest. Okay, I like that. Here's another one that went away. De La Soul. They were fucking great. They were so great.

They were great. De La, De La, De La Soul. They were amazing. Dude, they were great. They were hot. Like right when I first got into comedy. Oh, they were so cool were amazing. Dude, they were great. They were hot, like right when I first got into comedy. Oh, they were so cool. Dude.

Three feet high and rising. Run DMC? Well, that's great that they released all their music, but their music came from like six months. I know. It's really true. They were six months of music. Like, what the fuck, man?

Yeah. This is what confuses me. I love Nas. Yeah. Big Nas fan. But here's what gets me. How does someone put out something, how does a group put out something that's so good for a short period of time and then not? Like what?

Three. That's a magic number. They had great fucking songs. They were really good. And they were interesting. It's hard to keep a band together. They were good to get high to. You know what probably did them in?

What? Some white bitches. White girls. Son of a bitch. Came along, fucked everything up. I just don't like the way he looks at you when you sing. He's fucking jealous. I liked hip-hop and stuff, and I still do,

but it's a very old white guy way of doing it. When I find it, I know it must be over. Like, why? That I found Kendrick, I was like, oh, so this is a done, right? Once you find it, it's over? Yeah. Interesting.

I don't think that's enough to kill kendrick lamar's momentum but no you know he's got too much momentum yeah but it was like okay i mean if it got to me you know and i try like i try to listen to music but you know it's different when you're young and it just hits you and you're right from your friends and i have to like really try and find music now because i have no friends. I go to Jamie. And then I have to throw it through a filter. I have to throw it through a, yeah, but he wears Yeezy's filter.

Right, exactly. He's making the Nas' new album. It comes out in two weeks. Does it really? Kanye's producing Nas' new album. Well, I'm not saying that he doesn't produce good music. I'm just saying his sneakers suck. Killer Mike.

I like Killer Mike. There you go. Yeah, I like a lot of stuff, but it's a big range. If you listen to bluegrass and hip-hop, it means you're just kind of tasting it all. I feel like music is a lot like movies in that people are constantly making new stuff and you can't see it all or listen to it all. Yeah, it's true. I mean, think about movies.

They have been making movies since whenever the fuck they started making movies. And every week they come out with new movies. You're right. No one ever says, hey, folks, you know, we just realized if we keep making movies, you're never going to watch The Godfather. You're never going to watch Taxi Driver. You're never going to watch the classics. So we're going to stop making movies for a while and let you fuckers catch up.

Ten years off. No, man. We'll start up again in ten years. People are just cranking them out. It's going even more because now you can just make them on your phone. Like the technology to be able to make movies. Oh, yeah. So you can just do it.

Dude. I mean, the phones that we have now are dog shit compared to the phones we'll have in ten years, too. Soderbergh just shot a whole horror movie on his iPhone. Did he really? Yeah. What is it? It's called Unsane. Whoa.

Yeah. About a girl that's trapped in a mental institution. Isn't there a horror movie that's out right now called Hereditary? What is that about? Is that a good one? It's supposed to be really good. Oh, play the trailer. Ooh.

Let's play the trailer. Play the trailer. I love trailers. I love trailers. Oh, they're the best. Sometimes the trailer's the most enjoyable part of the movie. Sometimes. A lot.

Sometimes they give you too much, though. Oh, yeah. They do that with comedies, man. They give you too many goddamn punchlines. Give me some volume. Crank it. We get in trouble for this? We get pulled from YouTube?

For a trailer? We're helping them. Yeah, as long as you guys are talking over it. We're promoting them. We can maybe stop at 30 seconds. All right, give me some volume. It looks scary. It starts with a dollhouse.

That is a scary dollhouse. Or an architectural design house. What's going on here? A model. Wait a minute. Some man walks in it. Let's just shoot it. That was cool.

It made it look like a real room. Someone's underground. Ooh. The production company's underground. It's heartening to see so many strange new faces here today. I know my mom would be very touched. The production company's underground. Gabriel Byrne's in it. Uh-oh. From the producer of The Witch.

The Witch, which I didn't see. I heard it was good, though. Oh, and what's her name? Who's what's her name? No. Damon Wayans? Faye Dunaway. Faye Dunaway.

What? Sometimes, I swear, I can feel them in the room. Oh. It's a bird. Oh, she cut her head off a dead bird. That bitch is crazy. Got a kid with mental problems. Ah, she cut with scissors.

Ooh, she looks good. The generations. The exorcist. Take care of me. You don't think I'm going to take care of you? But when you die. She's coming up. Grips you with real horror. Exorcist. She's coming up. Gripsey with real horror. She wasn't all together. The unspeakable kind.

This looks good. At the end. Wow. Whoa. A modern day horror masterpiece. This does look very scary. Whoa. Bone chilling.

I just don't want to put any more stress on my family. That looks good. That looks scary. I can't believe I can't see it. Why can't you see it? Because I can't see anything. When do you see things? What are you talking about?

We just said, there's all these movies. What are you talking about? Do you ever watch stuff? Yeah, I go to the movies, bro. You do? Yeah. When do you do that?

Whenever I can. What's wrong with you? You're writing books and baking bread? Take a couple hours off. Go to the goddamn movies. Writing is killing. I really haven't.

My father said that to me the other day. Watch this movie on the plane. I'm like, I haven't watched a movie on a plane in two years. What was the movie that Eddie Bravo said he saw for like six minutes and then he left? Oh, yeah. It was one of the new. It was a big blockbuster movie. Oh, yeah. Was it Black Panther? No. No. It was one of the new... It was a big blockbuster movie. Oh, yeah?

Was it Black Panther? No. No. It was the Avengers? Damn it. Oh, that new one? It wasn't Deadpool, because I think it might have been the Avengers or something. That new Avengers one that everyone loves.

But does it make sense that he would have walked out of that so quick? I don't remember what it was. Because everyone loves that one. He doesn't make sense, period. He's got weird tastes. You go to the movies? How often do you go to the movies? Once a month.

Maybe once. I watch some on flights when they come out. I don't really get too much of a chance. You know what I really enjoyed? That Tom Cruise movie about Barry Seale, Made in America. I was pretty... I was pretty surprised by that. I really enjoyed that Tom Cruise movie about Barry Seale, Made in America. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I was pretty. It was good? Yeah, I was pretty surprised by that. That's a good goddamn movie. You forget how good Tom Cruise is, too. He's great. Yeah.

I mean, all of the crazy talk show stuff aside, that guy is amazing. Well, he's a Scientologist. Yeah. He's out of his mind. He's got his own stuff, but he makes good movies. But people who are out of their mind make good shit. Yes. That's part of the thing.

Yes. Part of being good at stuff. Some of the times. Crazy assholes. Yeah. They make good shit. They really do. A lot of times.

If you can harness it. Word. If you can harness it and put it into something. It's a good movie, man. Yeah. All right, I'll see that one. Mission Impossible. Duh. Yeah, come on. Is it a new one? Cruise. Yeah. This comes out I'll see that one. Mission Impossible. Yeah, come on.

Cruise. Yeah. This comes out in a couple weeks. He's going to live. That's what I hear. Go, Cruise, go. Harry gets to the end and he lives. He does all his own stunts.

He does a bunch of shit. He's going to drive that thing off the fucking cliff. Oh, Jesus. He just does that. Yeah, he does a lot of stunts. Cruise does all his own stunts. It's pretty crazy for a dude who's, I think he's 53 or 54. And he's still doing all his own stunts.

Yeah, it's pretty badass. Yeah. He was in a, what was that Jack Reacher movie, though? That one. That was a turd. Right. Are they making another one of those? No, I think it might have been John Wick. They're doing a third one.

Of course they're doing a third one. John Wick. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta do that. That Kill, Die, Repeat he was in was an awesome movie. I think they changed the name of it. I don't think that's what it was originally called,

but he has to keep redoing the scene. He goes back and he ends up killing everyone and saves the day. Wasn't that an Adam Sandler movie? That movie, The Day After Tomorrow. Oh, right. Wasn't that? They changed the name,

so I don't remember. It used to be called Kill, Die, Repeat? Edge of Tomorrow. Edge of Tomorrow. Edge of Tomorrow. That's right. That movie was fucking badass. That was a really good science fiction movie. But it was one of the ones that came out.

What year did it come out? 2014. 2014 was just a few years removed from him being wacky. When he did that Matt Lauer interview on the Today Show, it was like like you're being glib matt you're being glib when he's talking about brooke shields taking psychiatric medication yeah and you understand this i understand this yeah yeah scientology is highly critical of psychiatric meditation yeah they prefer you stay crazy they don't you don't know what you're

talking about matt have you done the research i've done the research yeah you're glib matt you're glib but lauer didn't handle it that good either now you're talking about, Matt. Have you done the research? I've done the research. Yeah. You're glib, Matt. You're glib. But Lauer didn't handle it that good either. No. You're supposed to go, well, explain to me the mechanism of what's happening with these psychiatric drugs and what do you oppose? Yeah. And why do you think that you understand the biological makeup of all these different human beings and that none of them should be taking psychiatric medication?

That's a crazy thing to say, that you're smarter than all these biologists and medical scientists and all these people that have concocted these SSRIs and different. Have you done the research? Have you done the research? Are you glib? They're making Top Gun 2 right now. Fuck.

Did I ever tell you the first time I did Letterman when Cruz was on it? Did I ever tell you that story? No. I was doing my first Letterman I'm super nervous and I'm just trying to tell myself you know just like any other show

it's just like any other show right you know Tom Cruise it's his first time he's on the show in like 10 years 15 years

and he's on and I'm watching through the monitor he's running up and down the he's running up and down the theater the theater

like saying hi to people during the break no yeah he's like hey and he's like running up and down and theater. The theater. Like saying hi to people during the break. No. Yeah. He's like, hey. And he's like running up and down and having this great time. Like, it's just another show. It'll be okay.

And then they bring you downstairs and you're standing outside this door like to go onto the stage. And he says goodnight during the show. And the door swings open and a very sweaty Tom Cruise is nose-to-nose with me. He's like, you're next. And he hugs me. He's like, woo, it's great out there. And then goes bouncing up the stairs. And I'm like, what's going to happen to me out there?

This is terrifying. He totally took all of my coolness and just, choo. What a strange guy. Yeah. But the energy. He was like an electric eel and I'm just like, it's alright, I can get through this such a strange, strange guy yeah

when he gets into that like I'm laughing thing, it just gets weird oh my god I know. Well, it's funny now. It's funny now. No, it wasn't such a high altitude that it would have, you know,

caused death or anything. I'm standing in the wings right now. What are you thinking? What am I going to say first? Yeah. What do you think with those things? Those things are such a little weird sprint. How's my tie?

How's my tie? Right. What's my first line? What am I going to say? What am I going to say? Do I go out casual? Yeah. There's a heated interview from Matt Lauer.

Play that. It's right there. It's coming up next. Here it is. Here's Matt. Matt had a full head of hair back then. Oh, yeah. Look at that. He's got all that hair.

2014. Look at him, handsome bastard. Yeah. Dum-dum-dum-dum. They look pissed at each other already. Yeah. That was a good movie. father in the world. When we were working on the story originally three years ago, Steve and I came up with this idea of making it about a family. It's okay. That was a good movie.

I loved that movie. Yeah, me too. Okay, you go ahead. I want to go inside. Of course you do. That real sense of like, where are we going to go? Well, that's what I think it would probably be like if we did get invaded too. There'd be robots like that. Yeah. That'll be cool.

Here, play some of that. Before I was a Scientologist, I never agreed with psychiatry. And then when I started studying the history of psychiatry, I started realizing more and more why I didn't agree with psychiatry. And as far as the Brooke Shields thing is, look, you've got to understand, I really care about Brooke Shields. Why? I think she was a wonderful and talented woman.

And I want to see her do well. And I know that psychiatry is a pseudoscience. But, Tom, if she said that this particular thing helped her feel better, whether it was the antidepressant or going to a counselor or a psychiatrist, isn't that enough? Matt, you have to understand this. Here we are today where I talk out against drugs and psychiatric abuses of electric shocking people against their will, of drugging children with them not knowing the effects of these drugs. Do you know what Adderall is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know now that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that? The difference is this was not against her will, though. Madam, I'm asking you a question. I understand there's abuse of all of these things.

You see, here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do. Aren't there examples, and might not book shields be an example of someone who benefited from one of those drugs? All it does is mask the problem, Matt. And if you understand the history of it, it masks the problem. That's what it does.

He is pretty aggressive on Lauer. Yeah. You're not getting to the reason why. Lauer wasn't being shitty. He's just like, yeah. He's just like, I'm going balanced. Meanwhile, he's right about a lot of shitty. He's just like such thing. He's just like I'm going balance Meanwhile, he's right about a lot of it. He's definitely right about Adderall and Ritalin that some people abuse it but

Abuse just because someone abuses it doesn't mean it doesn't have uses You know, it doesn't I don't I've met people that are on Adderall and they say they need it I don't know if they're right. Yeah, but the guy who developed Adderall says that it should be for about 4% of the population. That's a lot. Four people out of 100. You get a room full of 100 people, four of them are cranked out. And doctors are cranking it out like 30% of the patients they see.

Yeah, it's like super high. The guy who made it said it's being abused. Well, I'm sure it is. And amongst journalists. Have you done the research, Joe? Have you done the research? Well, I know a lot about psychiatry. I understand.

I understand it. I understand psychiatry. But he's right about little kids and Ritalin. And I had a neighbor, they drug their kid up with fucking Ritalin. It was weird. There was nothing wrong with the kid. He just had energy. And the parents were working all the time.

They just didn't want to deal with it. put the kid on riddling it's terrible they were bad parents that's terrible it was i was watching it happen i was like whoa and then they they zoned the kid out they got him on some shit and he was just like like a weird little zombie kid after that oh man say hi to him he's like hi oh my god that's terrible he could have been an artist could have been something great right Right, that's the thing. You take it away from him. You put a kid in a classroom and you make them listen to boring shit all day and they don't want to do it. You think, well

there's something wrong with this child. Yeah. Right. No, he's kind of actually a free thinker. He's actually going to do something really cool. He's got energy. Let him figure it out. Do something great. He's bouncing off the walls. Yeah. Let him go outside. Yeah, because he's not turning into a robot like the rest of the class.

But that's what we need. We need robots. We need workers. Well, we can do it with the 3D printers. We can make them. Totally. With human skin around the outsides. They're going to ship the 3D printers to Mars and have them make all the stuff we need on Mars right there. You don't have to ship it.

Do you think in our lifetime someone's going to fly to Mars and live there? Yes, you're looking at them. I've already told my family I might not come back, but I'm going to be a pioneer. You won't come back. If you go there, you're not coming back. I know. I'll die on Mars. Pretty cool.

No, you won't be able to do sets up there. Yeah, I will, because by then, then comedy's going to be all hologram. So you'll be able to beam you into a room? Yeah, it'll be me at the comedy store doing a late night set, but I'll be on Mars. Is that good enough? No, you don't, for us, we won't feel it. You won't feel it. It's an analog experience.

Yeah, there's no energy transfer. Yet. Think someday? Yeah. They're going to harness your energy transfer. Yet. Think someday? Yeah. They're going to harness your energy. It'll be that good? Do you think you'll be able to bang people who aren't there? Yeah, I'm going to make them with my 3D printer. With human cells

and then bang them. We're setting up This is why I made you. Just to bang you. Well, that's an interesting question, right? There's people that are considering the ethical implications of making a headless person that you would harvest your organs for. Like, say, if Tom Papa decides, I'm going to make a headless Tom Papa. Right. And I'm just going to drink like a fish and scoop the fucking liver out of this asshole and stick it into my body yeah it's

pretty cool it is oh it's great yeah if your grandpa needs a liver and you want to keep grandpa alive harness all those parts yeah but what are the what's the ethical considerations someone just told me that there's if you need a part if you need an organ or something, you go to the states that have no helmet laws. Oh, Jesus. How crazy is that? I was just in Chicago. Chicago doesn't have helmet laws. Oh, really?

Dude, watch these people riding the highway. But you know what? There goes your liver. I came home, and then in Chicago, they don't have helmet laws, but they can't split lanes. Right. And then I came home, and these fucking guys are just driving right next to cars and whizzing in between lanes and i'm like what's more dangerous is splitting lanes more dangerous or is it riding around with no helmet i don't know scary though both of them have you ever ridden a motorcycle yeah for years did you like 15 years yeah look at you till my

kids were born yeah i went around the whole country on my bike really my wife and i on the back for five weeks wow oh did we talk about this in the podcast i think so like we did we must have it's one of my big stories yeah i remember you saying that i miss it i do i do miss it i mean like i see bike i've been looking at it more would you what if you had like say if you had a summer house, like in Big Bear or something like that. Arab Main. Nobody up there. You just drive around.

Get a nice bike up there. I would do that. People drive kind of slow. I would do that. I got to get a house. It's freedom. I love it. You're so focused because you don't want to die.

It's one of those things that you're just so focused on you forget about the whole rest of the world. You're locked in. Oh, it's so nice. It does sound good. I know. I've been looking at bikes lately. But you see people that get fucked up by bikes. It's not good.

No, especially here. I know you don't listen to the radio, but if you do out here, you hear about motorcycle accidents like every day. On the news? Yeah, like, oh, there's traffic on the 5. There was a motorcycle accident. It's like there's a lot shit i know because it's music that's what you listen to well on the radio well they break in once in a while and say there's an accident or something if i'm not listening to sirius xm or podcasts or you listen to sirius what do you listen to sometimes i listen to comedians sometimes i

listen to the news and i have a sinatra station a coltrane station um yeah music you know i'm a hip dad yeah yeah do you think your kids think you're hip dad no no i humiliate my children yeah totally yeah it's just how it's always going to be which is cool they like that they like knowing that the dork is there and he loves them yeah that's the whole key yeah don't you love making your kids laugh oh yeah oh it's the best fun a lot of dads can't make their kids laugh really yes they can make them laugh in a goofy way but when you can let make them laugh in a way that you know is really funny right that's like you know my youngest stand up funny my youngest is fucking funny she's hilarious yeah she's really into it too she's really into saying funny shit she's got good timing it's good it's

funny my little one's the same way yeah well they realize that's how they get attention yeah you know they're wise asses yeah you say something they say something funny everybody something funny. Everybody laughs and they're like, whoa, that felt good. Yeah. It gives them a little charge. And what's funny too is probably the same thing that she has, that mine has, is that they're not doing it for you. They're doing it purely for them. Oh, yeah.

To mock you. Yeah. They victimize you. Yeah. You're old. Mock you. What's it like being old? Mock you on the ground. Mock you you they love to mock the fact that i'm bald

yeah i know it's hilarious they mock that i can't see any glasses yeah cute daddy's dying ha ha daddy's eyes are fading watching me watching me use a cell phone and not be able to navigate just dad just give it to me. Oh, they know how to use electronics in a weird way. Oh, instinctual. They take to it. They know how to edit videos and shit like that. I'm like, how do you know how to do that?

They don't even have a phone. They're using my wife's phone. They're making videos. I'm like, how the fuck did you know how to do that? There's little video editor programs and shit. Because I have a young brain. I can learn things very quickly. Very quick. My eyesight is killer. I can learn things very quickly. Very quick.

My eyesight is killer. I can learn things quickly. The eyesight killer is a big deal, but I think the brain is so plastic. Yeah. The mental plasticity is just... Yeah. They figured out,

oh, yeah, you swipe right. Oh, you do that, and then you highlight that, and you spread this out, and you touch that, and you edit. You don't want that. You want to filter,

so you go down the bottom. My kids were with my wife at a party. The relatives, when I got home yesterday, they weren't there. And I FaceTimed with my daughter. I said, how's mom doing? And she was bored at the party. She's like, how's mom? I said, how's mom doing at the party?

She's doing okay. She's inside. I heard her repeat a couple stories a couple times, but she seems to be having fun. She's heard her repeat a couple stories a couple times, but she seems to be having fun. That's hilarious. Yeah.

That's hilarious. They're all over us. And one day they'll be us. Yeah, it's great. They'll be their version of us. Yeah. Raising their own kid, going, what the fuck? I've got kids now?

And you'll be like with this new baby that they made. I'm like, hey, kid's cute. Here, take him. Going fishing. I don't got responsibilities anymore. Let me have a little kiss. Let me get some sugar from that baby cheek. Now I'm out.

Bye. Good luck. Change the diapers. Can I babysit Friday? Friday night? No. No. That's for you.

I'm working. Do you think you'll be working to the bitter end? To the end. Yeah. There's no part. When I hear people say that they're going to retire, like anybody just in the world, I hear retirement. Right.

I know that's one thing I'm not doing. Right. There's no... Why? Why would you retire? I want to make stuff until I go. I want to put out stuff and see what that stuff will be later on. Who knows? Well, it's also you've chosen a path that it's just perfect for you.

Yeah. You actually, you're not working because you have to go to work. You're working because you enjoy what you do. Right. Which is really what I encourage everyone to try to attempt to do. This thing that we're taught in school to try to find a good job that pays well, that's wonderful advice. But it's not the best advice. The best advice is try to find the thing that you love to do.

Because if you can do that, then you never have that feeling that most people have when it comes to work. Most people have that feeling like, oh, I've got to go to work. Right. You never have that. Never. But that's also, I think, there's some luck involved in that. For sure. But there's also decisions that you make if you don't have that luck

to try to make that luck happen. Yeah. And then there's also talent. There's also like some people want to be a comedian, and they really never will be. be yeah you just can't i think being self-aware of what you really really want to do as a person not thinking of it even in terms of work just but being looking at yourself enough to know what you're good at and what you enjoy right and then follow that path whether it makes a business sense

or not that's the best thing you can do yeah you don't know where it's going to leave it at least you're heading in the direction where it's stuff you like and it's stuff you know you have an aptitude for so wherever you end up in that area will be pretty close to happiness you know words of wisdom from tom papa author of your dad stole my rake available now is it an audio version there's an audio version too did you use your voice nine hours nine hours in a thank god you did though reading my book some I read a lot of books on tape or I have a lot of books written read to me yeah the real problem is when you know that it's not the author and you hear someone have some sort of bullshit,

half-assed connection to the words they're saying. No, I know. It's not good. That's why it was hard to do, actually, because it's nine hours of reading. You've got to read a whole book. But also, I have to be me behind it. They don't want me doing a phone-in version.

How many hours at a time did you do these sessions? I broke it into two. It's like four and a half each day. It's hard. It's hard to stay on point for that long. It was a thing. When you get out of there. But also, when you go in those booths, even in this show, time's different here.

It's different here than three hours somewhere else. Three hours is up. We did three hours. See? See? There you go. Crazy. Exactly.

It's different. There's something going on with the timing. You're engaged. It's not like three hours out in the world. Yeah. It's a little time warp. Yeah. It's a total time warp.

Yeah. It's, whenever I say I'm doing this show, people, I think it's like three hours. I'm like, that's not a thing. It's not. Yeah. Well, it's not a thing with you and I. You're just doing the show. Believe me that's not a thing it's not yeah you're just doing with you and i you're just doing the show believe me it's a thing with some people some people you're just squeezing blood out of a rock jesus no i could do this for four hours easy easy easy easy easy

well thanks joe you're a beautiful man you too man i'm sure your book's hilarious although i haven't read it it's a great Father's Day gift for you. A great Father's Day. I'm giving it to you. Thank you. Because you don't get gifts from your family. Tom Papa, ladies and gentlemen. See you.

Woo. We did it.