The Joe Rogan Experience - #1142 - Tony Rock

Episode Date: July 10, 2018

Tony Rock is an actor and stand up comedian.  https://www.tonyrockcomedy.com/

four three two one boom Tony Rock yeah that's a bold choice and shirt sir I like that thank you I think it brings out my skin tone it brings out it's got a pop to it yeah and I you know I rock it with the shades on so I'm driving with windows open and girls are looking like who's that guy so yeah and you're you're an Android guy that you're a different kind of person Android people are different kinds of people. What kind of people am I? Well, the people that think about it. Like, I don't know about this.

Everybody's like, I need an iPhone. Android people are like, I'm not so sure. I think I could rock a Pixel. Yeah, this takes great pictures. It's very easy to figure out. I've never been an iPhone guy. It's a choice that people make

they just decide it's a non-conformist choice did I take the blue pill or the red pill that's a good question I think they're both look it's no denying

iPhones are badass but it's no denying those are basically just as badass they're just different everything's just different now exactly it's caught up

you go with what you like man yeah it used to be like if you had a Blackberry and somebody else had an iPhone you felt like a loser you felt like a loser had a Blackberry and somebody else had an iPhone You felt like a loser. Yeah, like a loser with your stupid buttons. Oh, back when people had the phones that you could just zap your number. Oh yes! And you didn't have one you would just ass out. That's right! Remember everybody had like a little laptop They pulled out. It was like, hey send me your number. You would just scan their phone. What was that thing called again?

A side something or another? What was that called? What was it called? The sidekick, was it? What was it called? The sidekick? No, that was a Suzuki. That was the original drug dealer car right there. You sold weed. You bought a Suzuki sidekick. You were the man. Tony Rock, I'm so happy that you agreed that the fanny pack is back.

The fanny pack is back. It is, right? The fanny pack is back. It's a more stylish fanny pack now. People are wearing it over the shoulder. That's a coward's way out. That's a coward's way out. That's a coward's way out. You still want it on the stomach.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You rock it right in front of you. That's where it's most convenient. Listen, boys, you don't have to be trying to get laid all the time. Relax. You want soccer dad look. You just want the convenience of having that bag right there. Why can't I?

Leather? I don't want to have to carry shit. You want leather? Fuck yeah. You want a name like Fendi or Gucci cross? No, I don't need that. I got this right here, bro. Oh, wow. That's nice, right? Yeah, that's very... That's nice.

That's very naked and afraid-ish. You can keep this shit on you. It doesn't feel uncomfortable. You got your keys. You got your phone. You don't think about shit. I got keys, phone, wallet in my pocket. I'm good. People are tired of hearing about this. But I'm telling you, it's the way to go. The fanny pack is back.

I got one that I wear when I run. Oh, so you have more than one? Yeah. I got a neoprene one. You have the running fanny pack? Yeah. Dude, it's nice. You slip your phone in there, get your little headsets on.

You can cheat with your music. Jamie, I've been cheating. I cheat when I run now. I listen to music. It's better. You guys were all right. How's that cheating? I used to say that if you ran, running, especially running hills, is difficult.

Right. So you should do it with no music. You should be like- You should zone out. Just zone out. Just fucking do the work. But then I did it a couple times with music. I'm like, this is way better.

Yeah. I think you're supposed to run. You're supposed to hear a little something to get you going. Yeah, it's way better. It's way better. Treadmill. You get on the treadmill, little something to get you going. Yeah, it's way better. It's way better. Treadmill. You get on the treadmill, just music, go. Yeah.

You just got to hear shit. As long as it's not too loud. The thing about running in the mountains is like, what if someone's screaming for help? And you're running by, it's the eye of the tiger. If they're already in the mountains and they need help, there's nothing you can do already. What if it's Laurel Canyon? What if you're just running up the canyon to be a good person, to be aware? They need help.

They need you to help them take an Instagram picture. Probably. If they're in Laurel Canyon. Right. Half of the people there are just like, I want to get a good shot. I know. How many people hike just to get a good shot at the top? It's a good Instagram photo.

A lot. You can get a lot of likes. Yeah. That's what they go for. They go for the likes. It's some sort of commodity. A lot. You can get a lot of likes. Yeah. That's what they go for. They go for the likes. Hey, it's some sort of commodity. It seems to be, right? If you're a girl with a nice body, a bunch of likes seems to translate into hosting parties for some reason.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You only have to have a certain amount. Yeah, you go to a club and it's hosted tonight by, like, who the fuck is this girl? Well, it's the minimalist approach, right? It's like, not only is it not, she doesn't display a talent, but you also don't even hear her talk. Right.

You just see the pictures, but just that enough is enough that people are going to want to go see her. It takes less and less and less and less to be a celebrity these days. That's a strange one though, isn't it? To be considered a celebrity. Yeah, that's one of the weirder ones.

One of the weirder ones is getting down to just being famous for photographs. Yeah. They call them Instagram models. So there's an Instagram modeling agency. But here's the thing. Am I a hater for saying that? Because I like to look at them. Oh, no.

So why would I be upset ever at someone who's making something that I like to look at? Right no yeah exactly so why would i be upset i appreciate ever at someone who's making something that i like to look at right there you go i'm not mad at all weird that people would be like fuck these instagram hoes they're big asses and okay but don't you want to see those pictures i love to see the pictures and i think those are the guys that those are the guys that they're not fucking that are saying that you know we're all hypocrites that's just nature right it's the way of the world yeah land yeah that is right and instagram's just it's just such a fascinating thing that people can just show you little images of their world hey this is me at the grocery store and make their world look way more interesting than it really is really Yeah, man. Really more interesting. You know? Make it look like they're really

vacationing all the time and they hang all these clothes and they go to the best parties and you meet them and they live in Studio City with four roommates in a studio apartment. Yeah, we all want everybody

to think that we're doing better than we are, right? Why is that? What's that about? I don't know. Because if people think you're doing better than we are, right? Why is that? What's that about? I don't know. Because if people think you're doing better, then it makes you feel better because they treat you like you're doing.

They treat you like you're at the level that you're fictitiously portraying. Right, right. You know what I mean? So you get better treatment based on a life you don't really live. Right. So if you become Insta-famous,

what do you get out of that? You you can make a living off that yeah right i see comics doing it all the time yeah there's a comics or kyle dunnigan dude kyle dunnigan blew up because of those little videos that he puts up on his you ever see that no fucking hilarious kyle does face swaps with Kim Kardashian and Donald Trump. You've never seen it? No, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Please go back to the one where Bruce is telling them he's pregnant. See if you can find that one.

Dude, he's genius. Really? He does Bruce. I've known Kyle for so long. Dude, it is the funniest page on the internet. I'm not bullshit. Kyle Dunnigan's Instagram page is the funniest page on the internet. I'm not bullshit. Kyle Dunnigan's Instagram page is the funniest page on the internet. Okay, that's saying a lot.

Dude, I swear to God, I cry. Because I have yet to see a really, well, I've seen a few, but then they kind of just fizzle out. I cry. Show the one with Kim Kardashian and the washing machine, the dishwasher. Or the clothes washing machine. The one where she's lost in the house. Dude. Here it goes.

The build up. I have an emergency. Where is it at? What is it, Cam? I'm lost in my house. Oh, shit. Look at your surroundings. What do you see?

There's this white box. What is that white box? I don't know. I put North inside 3C. Oh, you're such a great mom. Yeah. Thank you. All right, let me get Kanye on the phone. He's a genius. Yeah, call Kanye. Hello.

Hey, Kanye, Kim's lost again. Do you know what that white box is behind her? It looks like I've got two dates. You don't know my girl's lost in space. Bam know what that white box is behind her? It looks like R2-D2. Oh no, my girl's lost in space. Bam. But I didn't get into a rocket. Quiet, bitch. I'm a genius at work.

Yeah, Kim, shut the fuck up. Don't interrupt your genius. Now program R2-D2. He'll save you from outer space. Bam. Help me, R2-D2. You're my army dog. Yeah, that's a fat beat, Kanye. is so silly.

He's so silly. Wait, is that, he's talking to Donald Trump? Dude, he's got a shitload of them, man. You gotta go to his page. I gotta follow him. It's all of his page. There's nothing like a regular person on his page. Right.

There's nothing like, here's me at the movies. There's no pictures of his food. His dinner. Right. Good. Good. Oh, look at the sunset. No, there's none of that shit.

His page is basically like a channel. Oh, shit. He's at 304,000 views. 304. He deserves it. He had like- Shout out Kyle Dunnigan, man. He deserves it.

I'm telling you. This is the funniest page on the internet. I got to follow it. Oh my God, it kills me. It's such an interesting- Some people use it right. Some people use Instagram correctly. Some people just use it for bullshit.

He's nailing it. But more importantly, this is like a new thing. He's able to use his mouth and use other people's faces for the first time. When has anybody ever been able to do that without some great giant studio behind you? The fact that he can do all this shit on his phone. Impressive. This is a new feature. You can do it on your phone.

You can download that. No, no, I know you can do it, but I'm saying that now it opens up this whole new kind of comedy. Right. That's a new kind of comedy. I love it. I love it.

I mean, we know he's not those people, but he's doing those people. It's like an ultra hilarious impression. It's his own snl on his phone you got to see him do bill maher find the bill maher one his bill maher one is fucking genius he sounds exactly like bill maher and then he's got bill maher's face shit is so funny man he's so good this is just like a new thing people people get it. People get this new opportunity to do shit on. You know, the internet is so interesting in that way.

Just some new thing opens up and some comic goes, oh, look at this. Myspace was that. Twitter was that. Yeah. Facebook was that. Well, I had seen people do like little things. Here it is. Look at this.

Here's. Okay. Hey, diddle diddle. The cat and the fiddle. The cow jumped over the moon. Oh, really? A cow jumped over the moon oh really a cow jumped over the moon it took nasa astronauts going 17 000 miles an hour a week to get to the moon this is bullshit a cow couldn't jump over one of you stupid idiots during nappy time okay oh you're crying now i'm on page two buckle. Buckle up, assholes. How good is that impression?

Come on, man. That impression is fucking genius. Oh, that was great. That was great. He's so good, dude. That was great. And it's the face swap thing makes it 100 times better. Like, that shit would be funny on its own, but with him doing that face swap, it's just a different thing.

I have to follow Kyle. Yeah, you're following him right now, live on the podcast, ladies and gentlemen. He's following Kyle Dunnigan. Kyle Dunnigan won. Tony Rock, I think you are one of the comics in this world that does not get the credit that you deserve. You are one of those guys. I thank you, and I agree.

I think you're one of the funniest guys alive. I really do. I thank you, and I agree. I watched you do a set, I guess it was last month. How long ago was the last time? We did Tripoli's show at the store, right? How long ago was that? About two months, maybe.

Something like that. Dude, you're funny as fuck. Thank you, man. You're funny as fuck. It's fun to watch. You got a lot of energy, too, man. You're powerful. Thank you, brother.

That was a thing, like a couple guys after your set were like, who whoo there was some heavy hitters on that one that night it was uh that was a fun show i forgot who uh was billy on that one was bill burr on that one i don't remember i mean he's been on a bunch of them triply throws some amazing shows we did montreal new faces together oh really so every time i see trip i'm like hey you know we're linked forever man we did new faces together wow new faces dude i remember those days yeah days of hope Oh, really? Every time I see Tripp, I'm like, hey, you know we're linked forever, man. We did New Faces together. Wow. New Faces. Dude, I remember those days. Yeah. Days of Hope.

Me, Tripp, Corey Holcomb. Oh, shit. Corey Holcomb. Mike Young. All. Same year. It was a great class. Joey Diaz speaks very highly of Corey Holcomb.

Corey Holcomb's super funny. Yeah. Super funny. Joey Diaz I love. Joey Diaz I love. He loves that guy. of Corey Holcomb. Corey Holcomb's super funny.

Yeah, super funny. Joey Diaz, I love. Joey Diaz, I will always love because Joey Diaz shot the movie Longish Yard with my brother. And he says, he sees me at the comedy store, hey man, day one. I don't waste no time.

I see your brother day one. I'm like, why the fuck is your brother not in this movie? He can throw a fucking football. He can run faster than you. I'm like, Joey Diaz, I will love you forever, man. I fucking love you. This is bullshit, Joey Diaz, I will love you forever, man. I fucking love you.

This is bullshit. Joey Diaz does not play games. There will be no injustices around Joey Diaz. You're a skinny guy. Go eat a sandwich. He gets so mad about shit. Whenever I'm around him, sometimes we get too high, and I just don't want to get him mad about anything.

I never know what to say, what not to say. You could mention the wrong band, or the wrong food, or the wrong clothes. He's gone. And you're just getting a beat down. You flip mention the wrong band or the wrong food or the wrong clothes. He's gone. And you're just getting a beat down. You put the switch. He just explodes. You got to know days when he's actually dangerous. You got to catch him after jujitsu.

Joey does jujitsu. Wow. All the time, man. Really? Yeah. He's lost a ton of weight, too. Joey's down, I think, I got to say more than 50 pounds. Oh, I haven't seen him in a while.

I got to see him. I want to know how much he's lost. He's lost quite a bit of weight. And he's going to jujitsu on a regular basis. Yeah, he gets into it. He's doing Muay Thai now, too. He's doing kickboxing classes. Joey Diaz is doing kickboxing.

Joey Diaz gets down. And I didn't wanna make it seem like it was so shocking when Joey watched him just like... It's shocking to everybody. We know. You know, he used to be a lot bigger, man. But he's become much more disciplined. You know, he's really disciplined with his diet.

No woman in his life? No, no, no. Health scare? No, he had a kid. He had a kid a few years back. And that, like, started the shift. That'll do it. And then he's just been, he's also just been more aware, you know, as you get older.

Like, you really do have to take care of your body or it's going to fail. And it might fail even if you take care of it. You know, it's just like you're hedging your bets you're at least making it stronger true you know it's just you gotta you gotta watch all the all the warning signs you know obviously a lot of excess weight is a giant especially for comics it's like we just don't sleep and there's a lot of drinking there's late nights and there's the travel and the stresses. Dude, as you get older, too, that don't sleep and shit just does not fly. Your body's like, fuck you, man.

We'll get sick. Your body's like, I'm going to sleep. You can do whatever you want. Like, bitch, I will give you a cold. I will give you a cold. And then you'll have to lie down, you fuck. I'll give you a fucking three-day migraine. It's a weird thing, right?

That balance that you have to have. Like the moment someone figures out something that you could do where you don't ever need sleep, we're going to have a weird world. It's coming. It's coming. You think? Some kind of pill or something will come in. Probably, right? I mean, if they have pills that make you go to sleep, Why wouldn't they have pills?

They just figure out, oh, well, this just counteracts all the biochemical responses that your brain creates when it needs sleep. Oh, it'll trick your brain into thinking you're actively, you know. In the meantime, we've actually found through independent studies that it improves your recovery. You actually live better. Yeah. But Chris Ryan just posted some shit yesterday that I retweeted about how doctors and scientists were encouraging women to breastfeed. And they were going to do it nationally, but it got sideswiped by the formula industry. It was terribly disturbing shit. I believe that 100% because there's always the other side where we're going to not make money if this thing gets through.

But that one right there, that is terrible. That's a terrible one. It is. You're deciding to give babies less nutrition. You're making a decision for profit over babies' nutrition. You're lying to moms. It's like big tobacco. Big tobacco puts money in. Yeah, but at like big tobacco. Big tobacco is, you know, puts money in- Yeah, but at least big tobacco isn't targeting babies.

And I know there's no supporting big tobacco. How many people have died from fucking cigarettes? Right. Imagine if that was from something else, some any other product, like Diet Coke. We have Diet Coke just killing people left and right. Which it is. Do you think it is? Of course.

I'm not sure about that. I'm not sure. It's not killing people like cigarettes, but. I think it's not good for you. But as far as anybody ever get like cigarette it out from Diet Coke. Yeah, nobody's doing commercials with the thing in their neck saying I drank too much Diet Coke. But I guess if you drink it all day. So it's not good for you.

No. And all the chemicals in it and all the different things and all that caffeine. If you drank them, nothing but Diet Cokes all day, like 15, 20 a day. Didn't you see? It was like a YouTube video where they put stuff in Coca-Cola and left it for days and how the Coke just- Dissolves it. Destroys it.

They put like a brick in a Coca-Cola and it just dissolves the brick. Cinder blocks would just crash. Yeah, I used to drink Mountain Dew Like it was no tomorrow If you got a fat juicy cheeseburger And a Dr. Pepper A cold Dr. Pepper on ice Oh my goodness It tastes so good

Why is it the things that taste good Are so bad for you Most things that are bad for you Yeah Most things are just That's the But that's like so many things in life That's how they get you

That's how they get you That's how life gets you A Sn's how they get you. That's how they get you. That's how life gets you. A Snickers is delicious. Yeah. Way too much sugar. Yeah. How much will you indulge that part of your brain? How much will you let that part of your brain run your life?

That's the thing. You have to control that part of your brain. Self-discipline. Yeah. Yeah. But goddamn, man, if you're in front of an ice cream sundae and you're just looking at that thing, you're like, oh. That's the saying right there self discipline but god damn it's the hardest thing in the world if it's in front of me eight times

out of town i just go fuck it i just do i do good most of the time we're talking food or just bad stuff in general mostly but mostly good for you delicious food like if i'm if i'm holding strong on my diet and someone pushes some lasagna in front of me, and I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah, I try to do no dairy until I get off a plane in New York City, and I'm like, there's no way I'm not having a whole pizza from Fulton Street. Yeah. Do you count pizza as dairy because of the dough? Yeah, or the cheese.

Right. Yeah, that's right, the cheese. Yeah, dairy's a weird one with people, right? Yeah. They say that if you eat that raw cheese, that your body has a much easier time digesting it. Raw cheese? Yeah, man. They have raw milk cheese.

The cheese that's made with raw milk as opposed to cheese that's made with homogenized and pasteurized milk. I had this friend who was a surgeon from France. Really smart guy. Okay. And he was explaining this to me once. And he had to smuggle cheese over from Europe to America and they were terrified. They were going to get caught. This guy's a cancer

surgeon. Because the cheese is just so much purer. Because it's illegal. Yeah. Because it's illegal to have over here. Because they want you to have the bad stuff here. Well, they want it to be safe. See, there's no bad guy here. It's kind of like a double bad guy. Because what they're trying to do is prevent diseases.

They want milk to be able to stay on the shelf because all of our surplus and all this stuff that we have in terms of grain and food and stuff like that, if we didn't have it and something went wrong, it would be kind of sketchy. And that's what happened somewhere around World War II. That's why we created all this stuff in the first place. That's where things started getting really weird in terms of stacking things up and surpluses. But milk can't stay raw on a shelf very long, man. You would lose so much money because things get transported. And if it's milk, it's got to be local. It's got to be pretty fresh. But damn, if you can get it, if you can get it from like a real good like a Whole Foods market

or one of those sprouts sometimes has raw milk. It tastes better. Well, Whole Foods now has stuff that's just as normal as Ralph's. Yeah, yeah. It's like Whole Foods, the myth has been exposed. Well, the other places like Ralph's and Vaughn's, they're becoming more diverse with their food choices. Right, they're trying to compete with Whole Foods. They're putting grass-fed meat in there and stuff like that

and organic vegetables. Yeah, they're all... What is it else? It's like weird granola. You know what I mean? There's a weird granola aisle. Who's buying this shit? Weird quinoa section. This is an empty section, man. I like quinoa. I tried quinoa for the first time

a couple of months ago. It's a very good grain. I tried kale for the first time. What? You never had kale? No, I hadn't. Dude. I'm trying to eat healthy. I'll make you a kale shake. You'll freak out. You'll feel like you're on drugs. Really? Oh, man. It just gets you so fired up. So much nutrients just getting

jolted into your system. We gotta try this. I use kale, a giant thumb-sized chunk of ginger, four garlic cloves, a pear, and celery. Shit. Yes. Yeah. Ah. Run through the wall.

Dude, when you're drinking this stuff, your whole body's going, what in the fuck is all this? Because it's blended down. You don't even have to chew it to absorb it, right? It's just all this? Because it's blended down. You don't even have to chew it to absorb it, right? It's just going right in there and getting broken down. You feel great. But then you better be close to a bathroom, son. I was about to say that.

Yeah, you feel great, but how does the toilet feel? It's cleaning you out. Quickly. Like a fucking tsunami, son. It's coming at your butthole door. And when it goes, especially if you put, oh, that's the other thing I forgot to add. You need either coconut oil or MCT oil. What's MCT oil?

Medium chain triglyceride oil. It's essentially an aspect of coconut oil that they extract. It's just a really strong, healthy oil. A lot of people put it in coffee and stuff and different things, but it's a good dietary aid. But you have to put it in there because apparently, at least as it's been explained to me, the nutrients absorb in the body better if there's fat mixed in with them. So that healthy MCT oil or coconut oil, when you put all that stuff in there, then it allows your body to process those nutrients better. Wow, okay. But dude, you better be close.

I mean, close, like a sprint away. So this is just a cleansing shake. This is a cleanse. It just tastes good. The key is don't put too much MCT oil. That's the key. That seems to be the difference between making it to the bathroom and having a dreadful result. And calling for help from Laurel Canyon.

Yeah, dude. You might have to call for help. Do you eat healthy? I try. I try. I have the vegan friends, and I have the friends that like to cook and eat and the foodies, so I'm trying to walk the fine line. It's hard when you're on the road, right?

It is very hard to eat healthy on the road. I try to do—I go to Whole Foods. I'll try to get some soup and some chips or whatever for the room. But at 10 at night, it shows up at midnight. I hang around and take pictures with the people. And now it's 1 o'clock and I'm starving. And there's nothing open that I can get a healthy meal from. Yeah, I always bring protein bars everywhere I go. I bring almonds and protein bars.

Those are two good things to bring. I should start doing that. Yeah, it's an easy thing. If you're just trying to get some nutrition just to fill your stomach, you're hungry, just so I'm not hungry anymore. Almonds are great because just a couple handfuls of them. I'm allergic to almonds. I can't do almonds.

Well, don't listen to me then. I'm allergic to almonds. I'll be fucked. How'd you get allergic to almonds? I don't know. I'm allergic to almonds, pecans, I believe walnuts, but not peanuts because peanuts is not a nut. Really? Peanut grows on the ground. Almonds, pecans grow on trees. So something weird there where-

Whoa, peanuts grow on the ground. I did not know that. Did you know that? A peanut is not a nut. Nope. Jamie didn't know it either. I can eat peanuts all day. That's crazy. All my life, I've never thought about a peanut tree. Like, what the fuck does a peanut tree look like? I've never thought about that once. Even though Jimmy Carter, I remember, was a peanut farmer in Georgia. That was like a big thing. Oh, that was his brother.

Wasn't that his brother? No, he was a peanut farmer. Jimmy Carter was. He was his family. They were peanuts all day. Yeah, man. But I never knew what a fucking peanut looked like. Like, in the ground. I have no idea. I thought it was a tree. Yeah, no. But even, I never even, like, I I could see an, if you said picture an orange tree, I could see it.

Picture a peanut tree. What the fuck? What does that thing look like? Meanwhile, I've had way more peanuts than I've had oranges. A tree full of squirrels. Yeah. That's what it would look like. Right.

You always picture squirrels with peanuts. See, look. That's what it looks like? So they pull that out of the ground. Yeah. peanuts see look that's what it looks like so they pull that out of the ground yeah whoa so that's crazy

yeah it kind of grows like that on top of the ground right there yeah that picture wow it grows on top of the ground you just go and pick them

yeah you go I remember picking them with my grandmother back in South Carolina back in the day it really is a trip like that right there some food

some of these plants are incredibly nutritious to your body and some of these plants are incredibly nutritious to your body, and some of these plants will kill the fuck out of you instantly. And nature made people figure it out. You had to figure it out by trial and error. Trial and error, yes. Can you imagine what it was like?

The blowfish, that guy, that first guy. Yeah. Hey, it's a fish. Can't we eat fish? Bang, gone. Dead. Yeah, how about those assholes that still decide to make sushi out of it? If you cut it Yeah

An inch to the left or inch to the right You're dead Like why not just not eat it No, no, no, no, no Like why not just Danger Skip that one Danger

That probably doesn't make it taste better You got those chopsticks And you bring it up to your lips You're like, did this guy fuck up Maybe this guy's getting old Maybe his vision's going bad He doesn't want to say anything Because he wants to keep his job

I don't know this fucking guy What kind of rush Just wait yeah like blowfish sushi that's like the the wingsuit of sushi you know those crazy people that jump like my friend andy stump they jump off cliffs and shit with those wingsuits. That's what that is for sushi eaters. I saw a guy go through it. It was a guy that went through a cliff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw that. And it was like if he misses, he's dead instantly.

Dead. There's a lot of videos of those guys dying. There was a video of a guy hitting a bridge going like 100 plus miles an hour, hit this bridge. It was awful. I mean, fucking awful. Wow. Yeah, that's bungee jumping all that that stuff you know will smith is bungee jumping what did you see this video will smith he he posted a video on his instagram who another guy that has a great instagram posted a video

about uh how fear i know amazing things are right on the other side of fear yeah so he's been doing this thing where he's just conquering all his fears and he has a group of guys that are professional bungee jumpers. They're bungee jumping on his birthday, his 50th birthday, out of a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. Jesus.

Yeah. This I got to see. That seems like a terrible idea. We did a bunch of that kind of shit on Fear Factor, man. We did it in the last season. In the last season, we did a couple of them that really had me freaked out. But one of them, they hooked people up to these bungee cords. And they had them tied to like a post or something or a tree or something.

I forget what it was. They were shackled. I think it was a post. And the person had to release them, figure out which key goes into which lock. And it was like a race to do it. And as soon as you released them, they shot through the air because there was a helicopter holding on to a bungee cord behind them. Wow. And then they were just dangling over this canyon, like bouncing up and down.

And I watched the first one. Like they did the first one. Like, they did a test one. And I watched it, and I was like, yeah, I mean, they know what they're doing. I guess they know what they're doing. These guys are like professional stunt guys. But I was like, I would not want to be that person attached to that bungee cord. Who was the person that came up with these things?

Like, I would watch the show. I didn't mind the dangerous stuff like that. Just the eating. Like, every time I'm like, how did you know you could eat that? Yeah, they had a whole team of people. How do you know that won't kill you? No, they would do toxicology examinations on certain bugs. They'd grind them up and find out what's bad for you, what's not. Yeah, who's that guy?

A lot of those people that ate food, man, that they shouldn't have had to eat. They would do it with interns. Poor interns. Nice kids, too. Scarred for life. Well, they were working on production. Or they're not interns. I'm sorry.

They were PAs, production assistants. And they would have to do these really fucking difficult eating challenges. If they did it, they'd win a certain amount of money. They'd get a certain amount of money. I would always give them whatever I had in my pocket too. They won't eat anything other than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Oh, those poor kids. Like the, yeah, it was just, some of it was ridiculous. Like there's some things you just can't eat. You just can't chew it down enough. Right. Like the smell you'd be like, yeah, it's coming up. Yeah. But that didn't

scare me. What scares me is like the bungee cords under the helicopters type shit. That be like, it's coming up. Yeah, but that didn't scare me. What scares me is the bungee cords under the helicopters type shit. That was like, how do you know that that's going to work out right every time? I don't know. I'd take a bungee cord under the helicopter before bull nuts and all that stuff. No. Really? Yes, man. Dude, bull nuts are just meat.

You just eat it. That's one of the easiest ones. Bull nuts would be super easy. People love those things. They call them Rocky Mountain oysters. I've heard that. I've seen one of those cooking shows, and they fry them hard. They look like fried pork rinds, and people are just going to town.

Oh, is that what they do with them? It looks like pork rinds, really? Yeah, they slice it and fry it up hard. Oh, wow. I hadn't seen that i'd seen uh sauteed and i'd see that where they breaded them they like uh breaded bull nuts breaded them and fried them yeah it's apparently people love them i'm not there they are they chop those up rocky mountain oysters like fried cauliflower yeah man's dominion over animals

that's cauliflower you eat it or they say it's calamari you eat it and then your friend's like no i'm kidding it was bull nuts see it really bothers you that it's bull nuts yeah kind of doesn't bother me at all i think in if you're gonna eat the whole animal you might as well use balls too just out of respect i mean you know the whole thing about castrating them is strange, too. They only castrate them because they want them to be, that's how you get a steer, right? Like when they make a steak. Right.

You get it out of a steer. That means it doesn't breed. It's like a bull that they snipped. Right. That's kind of crazy. That's kind of crazy. Sad. That's just how they do it. Sad for the bull.

Sad life. Unfortunate. So, like, they must do that with grass-fed beef, too, right? Probably, yeah. What's the one they put in the box? Wait, it's veal, right? They put in the box. Oh.

Yeah, if that doesn't bother you, what kind of person are you? What are you doing to it? In the box? Yeah. And just, oh. Oh. Yeah. If that doesn't bother you, what kind of person are you? You know, what are you doing to a baby calf? They put the calf, right? Is that what it is? They put the calf in a box so he can't grow? Yeah, and they keep him in the dark. And that keeps the meat tender or something like that?

Now, who's the person that came up with that one? That guy was an asshole. Yeah. That guy was an asshole. It was put in a dark box for years and then the meat will be... Yeah, well here's the thing that I found from eating wild meat specifically, and I know that everybody

can't eat wild meat. I'm very aware of that argument. But none of those animals are like that. They're living this buck wild nature life. They're out there in the woods with predators and they're surviving for years in the mountains. There's They're out there in the woods with predators and they're surviving for years in the mountains. There's

mountain lions out there and bears out there and these fucking things have figured out a way to get away from them and survive. They're wired and alive. And if you eat one of those, it's just a different thing than eating these prisoners. We're eating prisoners!

That's bad too to be out in the wild living your life you're an elk or a and then a man a human walks into this forum that doesn't belong he's the outsider and blows your fucking head off true unless you like to eat elk then it's awesome that's exactly what you were looking for you know i mean we could decide all day like whose land is whose land. Like, it's their land. This is where the elk live. This is their home. Right.

They will walk right through your fucking living room and stomp your kid to death, okay? Don't get it twisted. I don't think an elk was coming to my living room. But if they wanted to, like, they're not respecting our property because they love us. Right. You know, we have a mutual agreement. No. Like, they're not really dangerous,

but moose are. Moose will fuck you up. I've never seen... I've heard moose is gigantic. If you find a moose in your backyard, get the fuck back in your house. Because a moose might fuck you up. Really? Oh, yeah. Especially if you come near a mama. It's a mama in her calves.

I've never seen a moose live. The fuck away. I said live. They're so big, dude. They don't even look real.ose live the fuck away they're so big dude they don't even look real when you see them they're so big they're so big they're like 20 deer damn really where they moose are like what North America Canada yeah like um probably north no moose in like North Carolina there's moose in Colorado there's moose in Canada there's a lot no moose in, like, North Carolina. There's moose in Colorado. There's moose in Canada. There's a lot of moose in certain parts of Canada. They eat them? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's moose in Alaska. Oh, yeah, moose is delicious. But, dude, they're so big. You can't believe how big they are when you see them. You've eaten moose before? Yeah, I ate moose before. Wow. Yeah, it's really good.

It's delicious. You eat a lot of stuff, man. Yeah. But it's, I just, I don't know. I like it. It's better for you. But the whole point was this whole veal thing. Like, you know, I don stuff, man. Yeah. But I just, I don't know. I like it. It's better for you. But the whole point was this whole veal thing. Like, you know, I don't want that.

Right. Like, that is not, like, that's not, you don't have to eat that. Like, why do you even want it that tender? Like, what are you doing? Does it hurt when you chew? What the fuck are you doing? I don't get it, man. Are you scared of chewing?

I just want good tasting food. Can we make this any softer? Yeah. Isn't that weird? It's like, oh, it's so tender. We're so lazy. We don't even want to work out when we eat. We're like, oh, it's so tender.

It falls off the bone. It just melts in your mouth. Chew it, you lazy asshole. Just take the fork and get it off the bone. Just chew it, you fuck. No, no, I'd rather keep this little baby cow hostage. All hog tide. Dude.

It's horrible. It is horrible. That's one of the more horrible things about farming, right? I guess they have free-range veal, too, which is basically just a calf. What is free-range? Free-range is still in prison and on a farm. Free-range chickens, they can't come and go. They don't want to.

Still on a farm? That's true. But free-range chickens are the exception. Because because free range chickens, they don't get anywhere. If you have a chicken house, okay, and you have a yard, you don't ever have to fence the chickens in. The only reason why you fence the chickens in is protecting them from other things. They go right in their chicken house at night. Like we leave the door. I have chickens.

We leave the door open. At the end of the day, they just go in their little chicken coop and climb up into their seats. They know what to do. Like that's their house. They live there. They have some weird relationship with me. They know I bring food. So when I come around, they get excited and they follow me around.

But they know where they live. They're not prisoners. They want to be there. You have free range chickens. Yeah, they're free range in the sense that I let them out all the time. But the thing about it is they're not going to go to another state. That's not what chickens do. Chickens hang around.

They hang around where they're going to be fed at because they're wild animals. Well, no, they feed all over the yard. We get fed here. This guy comes out and throws grain on the ground twice a day, so we're going to stay here. Well, it's not even that. When you let them out, they go looking for bugs. That's all they're doing. They wander around the yard.

They fuck every bug up. Every bug's dead. Every mouse dead. Chickens eat mice? Oh, they eat the fuck out of mice. Chickens eat mice. Jamie, I think we need to play an off-played clip for Mr. Rock. Yeah, dude. I didn't know either until I got

them. They eat mice. They chase mice down in a ferocious manner to the point where cats please pull this up there's a fantastic video of a cat playing with a mouse and a chicken comes over and shows them how the fuck it's done so here's one where they're going to put a mouse and this chicken's going to grab it from this dude that's not as impressive jamie give me the one where the um give me the one with a cat the The chicken steals the mouse from the cat. It says, do chicken eat mice?

Do they eat? People have these questions. Uh, we, uh, we had a mouse get into the chicken coop once just to just randomly. This is it. Watch this. Look at this chicken. Oh, look at this, uh, cat. The cat's thinking about getting the mouse.

The chicken's like, bitch, give me that. Look at this. Did The cat's thinking about getting the mouse. The chicken's like, bitch, give me that. Look at this. Did you fucking know? Wow. Ferocious, dude. Just consuming it. See, cats kill things. And the cat didn't even try to get it.

The cat was like, you got it. He was gonna. He was taking his time. He was having a good old time. No, he didn't try to get it from the chicken. Right. No, cats. Okay, you got it, man.

No, chickens are too crazy. Wow. Okay. Learn something new every day. Chicken eat nice. Wild little fuckers. So they just go around my yard jacking everything that moves. How many chickens you got?

13. Damn. You got a rooster? Lost a bunch of them to coyotes. Yeah? Yeah. No rooster. Can't have a rooster.

That's an asshole move. Why? Because neighbors? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in Tampa. You've done the Tampa improv. You've seen the chickens all around Ybor? Yeah. Why? Every morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was in Tampa. You've done the Tampa improv. You see the chickens all around Ybor? Yeah.

They do have chickens. Five in the morning. Ga, ga, ga, ga. You're like, what the fuck, man? Can they do something about this? I used to have a gardener that had, he kept roosters, like fighting roosters. And I went over to his house for something. And he lived in this super mexican

neighborhood where like everything was in spanish all the signs were in spanish everything i was like wow i mean it's like almost like visiting a super super mexican nothing was in english okay everything was in spanish but it was just super mexican point where everybody in his little area had boxes of chicken coops in the backyard just stacked fighting yeah fighting chickens dude i mean like five houses on this one block that's the cultural thing right fighting chickens so like people fight dogs and everybody's what the fuck it's like isn't that a cultural thing also well i didn't like the disclaimer i don't fight dogs i don't even own a dog i get it we make a distinction between chickens and dogs.

Because we eat chickens. Because we eat chickens and because you never really form a bond with a chicken. Like chickens are always, they're never really there for you. Right. You know, like my dog's there for me. I come home, I'm like, my man. He gets happy. I go, what are you doing?

How are you, sir? He gives me kisses. He rolls on his back. A dog is a family member. Yeah. A chicken is a meal how are you sir he gets gives me kisses a dog is a family member yeah chicken is a meal yeah and he listens to me he's he's he's uh he's he's patient you can train smart yeah smart you can't train shit with a chicken right you can teach them where the food is that's it no you just make the noise and they know when they hear that yeah um whatever you say it is we have a box of dried worms we shake this box of dried meal worms and they know when they hear that. Yeah. Whatever you say it is. We have a box of dried worms.

We shake this box of dried mealworms, and as soon as they hear that, they come running. They love those things. They're little monsters. It's like fish when you put your hand over. Uh-huh. They just come and drop. Yeah. I think you can drop some food on them.

Yeah. Yeah, you can train them that much. So we make a distinction. So when someone's forcing dogs to kill each other, that's like forcing like a family member that can't read. It's like making two of your friends fight to the death. Yeah. Like if you have a family member who can't read and you trick him into fighting to the death,

tell him you'll love him the most if he does it. Hey dude, if you fight to the death, I will love you the most. But you have to win for me to love you. He's just smart for like a plant, smart for like, you know, like a, but not smart for me to love him. He's just smart for like a plant. Smart for like, you know, like a...

But not smart for a person. He's not quiet. But you can talk him into it. Just asking the question. I don't want anybody to get upset and say I said anything about fighting dogs. I know how sensitive some people are. Dude, today you can't riff anymore. You can't just talk off the top of your head. Right. You know, like sometimes you

say some shit where you're just exploring it. Like, why? How come it's okay with chickens and it's not okay with dogs? Right. And you might actually be only, you might be, the only reasonable way to do that

was to say it's fucked up with chickens too. That's the reasonable way. But people would always misinterpret it and go with the worst way is to say what's wrong with fighting dogs, which is not what you said. They're going to hear what they want to hear. But you were really saying why should you be able to fight chickens?

Why shouldn't we love chickens just as much? Because we eat them. Because they're delicious. Shouldn't they get the nod because they're delicious? I went to an ashram once. And this lady who was there, she and I were having a conversation. And I noticed that she had ant spray. And I said, what do you do with the ant spray she goes well it's unfortunate but we have to use it because the ants have been getting to the garbage i go what wow i go you guys are

murderers you guys are killing ants and she started laughing you know she thought it was kind of funny she's like she because we draw the line that's one thing about buddhists like a lot of buddhists they don't take themselves too seriously to the point where they can't crack out a little joke about that. That's good. About the hypocrisy of the fact they're using bug spray at an ashram. That's very good. Death spray. You're killing all these organisms.

But we decide that that's okay. Whereas if her backyard was invaded by house cats, she just went out shotgun. Right. You can't do that. You can't do that, but you can spray the fuck out of these little bugs. Ants, you got to kill them. It's like when things are little, we're like, I can't be bothered worrying about you. You're too little. Yeah.

Weird, right? Buddhists, you would think, though, they would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You would think that they would figure out a better way to keep those ants out. They're lazy. They wanted to kill them. Buddhists are lazy.

Well, that one was. We just learned it today. Well, don't you think there could have been a way to clean them up with water and not kill them? No, you'd still kill some. You'd still kill some. You'd just sweep them out. Like, you're a Buddhist. You're going to kill them too.

Why not just sweep them outside? But even then, you're murdering dozens and dozens of ants if you just had a broom and you started hitting those ants you're gonna fuck up a few or how about you get an ant eater

if you're a Buddhist cause now it's circle of life type shit you know what I mean damn maybe get a bird get a chicken get a chicken

chicken eats oh yeah then you got chicken shit all over your kitchen well you sweep that up. That's not going to kill anybody. That's true. Maybe that's the move for a Buddhist.

They should have chickens outside the ashram. Hmm. We finding answers here. We getting answers. We getting down to the bottom. I wonder if they try to make their chickens vegetarian. Here, what does it say here? If you have an infestation, use your vacuum to quickly get rid of the invaders,

then immediately empty the vacuum bag in the outdoor compost pile or at some distance from your house. Do not use ant bait or poison like sprays like Raid that continue in the toxic waste stream from their point of manufacture to their ultimate

destination in landfills via runoff or sewage. Well, that's very conscious of them. So they're saying don't use bug spray, just use a vacuum cleaner. You're still going to kill some, guaranteed. You're sucking those little tiny things into a huge metal tube. What could go wrong? Get a chicken, man. Can you imagine if somebody assumed that you would be okay

and they used something of proportionate size to suck you off the earth, I'd be like, yeah, they'll be fine. They'll be fine. You land on a pile of other people going 180 miles an hour. Or you and another person get sucked up at the same time, and you just smash into each other, your broken arms and your shoulders. I think that's ridiculous. What would you do if there wasn't a vacuum cleaner, Mr. Buddhist Answer Man? Huh?

What if there's no vacuum cleaner? Would you use a broom? A vacuum cleaner is going to fuck those ants up. Buddhist Answer Man. What if there's no vacuum cleaner? Would you use a broom? A vacuum cleaner is going to fuck those ants up. I say chicken. Chicken eats the ants. Yeah, I think I like what you're doing. I think that's a smart way of thinking. Ant eater, even further.

But I think ant eaters just like to get to a mound of dirt and just go to town. I don't know if they would hunt them down. They stick their tongues in the ant hole, right? Right, right, right. Tongues are sticky, so it's like they're just go to town. I don't know if they would hunt them down. They stick their tongues in the ant hole, right? Right, right, right. Tongues are sticky, so it's like they're just eating for days. But what if they wiped them out real quick and then you got a fucking ant eater that you have to feed

and then you got to bring in ants. What kind of an asshole am I? What eats an ant eater? You bring in a fucking jaguar. You bring in a black bear. Now you're a black bear. Yeah. Now you're a psycho Buddhist. Dude, there is a crazy video that I tweeted of these tourists walking through the woods and they're walking down a trail and they run into a fucking gigantic grizzly bear.

It is a terrifying video. Wow. I tweeted it? Yeah. It's not on... I didn't put it on Instagram. Dude, this thing is so big. And they're like, all right, back up.

Back up, sir. They got away. Back up. Yeah, they got away. Yeah. Did you see the video of the poachers that went to kill the rhino and the lion killed them? Is there a video of it?

I saw a picture. I saw a still picture. Oh, okay. Yeah. I didn't know if they got a video, but yeah, that's fucked up. That's fucking- A few dudes got jacked, right? That's We Even.

That's the lion saying We Even Look at this Turn up the volume, Jamie I don't want to use my bear spray Holy shit I don't want to use my bear spray That's a good boy Good boy

That's a good boy Dude He's coming around What the fuck do you mean good boy? That's good Can you come forward I don't want to use my bear spray These motherfuckers

It's following him It's circling him around Yeah he's That thing is circling him man It's going towards him That's a good boy That thing is That thing is coming

Way too close to him man It's like going in a circle. Crap, he's huge. Hell no. Yeah, they got lucky there. I would have been gone. The scary thing about that is that bear could have just decided randomly through some firing of his bear synapses to take a left instead of a right. Just go at him.

He could have easily decided that. Those things scare the shit out of easily decided that. Oh, man, that's crazy. Those things scare the shit out of me. You know why, man? We don't believe in things we don't see. We don't believe in them. What do you mean? You don't believe in things you don't see.

You know it's real, but you don't believe in it. The danger? No, you don't believe in it. It's not a real thing in your world. Right, right, right. But if you were outside and you saw that, if you were with those people in Australia, you'd be like, oh, Jesus Christ, this is real. Well, no, if I was there, I would know that that's the reality. That's real.

Like my world doesn't involve being somewhere that close to a bear. So to see it in my world would be, what the, it wouldn't be real. No. I'd be like, holy shit, this can't be happening. But if you were with those people, if you went on that trip with them. I'd be. That would be. I'd have fucking fell out.

One of the craziest things you could ever. Your whole existence gets down to the chance that this thing makes a decision to go one way or another. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, it's just going to run you down and tear you apart. That's life. That's like life. If you go in certain scenarios, you're like, wait, this shit can get real fast. Real fast.

Yeah. That's one of them, man. That is. That's life. That's inner city life. It's just like, holy shit. Is this fast. Real fast. Yeah. That's one of them, man. That is life. That's inner city life is just like, holy shit. Is this about to pop off in here? Yeah. Right? Like how many people died in Chicago last week?

Some insane number. There was a reporting on the lack of attention that the murders in Chicago were getting in like the national news and how crazy it is. I've been to Chicago several times. The one thing that sticks out to me every time I go there is how segregated it is. Yeah, I've never gone to anywhere. For a major city like New York is like we're all piled up together. Four killed, 24 wounded in weekend shootings.

God. 28 people got shot, that is crazy 28 people in the weekend in the afternoon it said fuck standing on a sidewalk jesus christ someone opened fire jesus christ like there is a there is a war going on in Chicago that's way more deadly than most of the wars we're engaging in overseas. You don't hear about that many soldiers dying every day. Now that's another scenario

how we said like that's real. Yeah, that's real. The fear is real. You walk outside in Chicago, that is a real fear that you should have. And this is what's crazy. The number of people in Chicago this year passes 1,400. 1,400 people shot. Now, how many people do we know, how many people got shot doing tours of Afghanistan?

That's a good question. Was it 1,400? What is this? This is over the year? This is just this year. Just this year? This year, yeah. Okay.

Okay. So let's Google how many soldiers were is just this year. Just this year? This year, yeah. Okay. So let's Google how many soldiers were shot overseas this year. You know, that's a weird thing, man, that we got a war going on. If that was Mexicans invading North Dakota and shooting people and that many people were dying every day, we would be taking action. But because it's happening, two people- If it was 1,400 and 100 of them were white people, it would be an issue.

Oh, yeah. If it was 1,300 black people and 100 white people, it would be great. Yeah. We shut Chicago down. You're really right. I mean, it's something that people don't talk about. It's 300. I mean, it's like, it would be crazy.

That's a weird statistic. It's a terrible situation, like culturally, to have something like this as a glaring point. And with 1,400 people being shot, that means, and people don't want to realize this, post-traumatic stress disorder is a real thing in the ghetto as well

as in the hills of Afghanistan. It's real. Of course. So when you see something that, when people are like, why do these guys have guns on them, it's like dude, 1,400 people got shot. I'm just trying to get to school them back. I'm trying to get to work them back. Of course. It's, you know,

we're not protecting those people. Exactly. If they were stuck somewhere overseas in the middle of some war, you know, and they were American citizens, please help. Get us out of here. If there was a place that had statistically the numbers of some war, you know, and they were American citizens, to be like, please help get us out of here. It would be like, we got to get these, yeah. If there was a place that had, like, statistically the numbers of the south side of Chicago where all this murder is going down,

if there was a place statistically in another part of the world, we would be saying. Put those numbers anywhere else, and it's a crisis. If we had, let's say Hawaii. Let's say if we had just moved into Hawaii, like just took over Hawaii, and then we're in an area where people started getting shot and killed by locals like that. We would want to extract those people from Hawaii. We'd scoop them up from an island. We would think they'd be

shooting at the helicopters as we rescue them, right? Right. Well, you just look at the real numbers, just the raw numbers. That's a crazy number of people getting shot in a year. Just this year. This is July july just started how many soldiers got shot i can't find i'm trying to find the wounded i can only find uh deaths okay what's it deaths it's only like 1500 total since like 2001 since 2001 man this is since january it seems weird saying only well yeah i know what you know what you're saying. You're saying in comparison to the other number since January. Yeah, that's insane. It's crazy.

That is insane. And that's happening right here in the good old U.S. of A. in one of the biggest cities in the world. Chicago's a giant, awesome city. And it's happening in other cities also that people don't know about. But Chicago's the most glaring. Yeah. Because I don't travel around there, so don't know uh what happened or why it

happened why they have this segregation there and what it was all about go to chicago man it's like black people all the way over there then there's downtown where it's nice and everybody's you know detroit has that too right it's right as well yes yeah yeah um man then you go down south, it's like that? You go to Louisiana? It's crazy. If you were the king or the president, Tony Rock. If I was the president? How do you fix this? You have to fix this.

It's a process, man. First, I always say number one is education. Right. Education is number one. Number one is education. Right. Education is number one. If you're just if you're getting a better education, then you just avoid the pitfalls naturally because you just know that certain things are wrong. And by getting a better education, I mean you have opportunities to do, you know, you have a music appreciation, you have the arts, you have sports, you have things to occupy you during school hours and after school hours. There's no type of any type of extracurricular activities for these kids. In Chicago, there's gang life, which you are born into, which you are expected to go into once you are a certain age.

All right, you're a man now. Here's a gun. We don't like those guys. Those guys don't like us. You don't even question it. It's like my father's been this way. My grandfather's been this way. My uncles are this way.

My big brothers are this way. You're born right question it. It's like my father's been this way My grandfather's been this way my uncles are this way my big brothers are this way You don't even miss you're born right into it. You don't want in the war zone You all right, and you don't question it and it's a war zone where you sleep and your family lives, right? Not just a war zone with soldiers, but a war zone with families and another thing better education You you're more worldly if you see the world you world, you realize how small your neighborhood is and there's a bigger world out there and you want to go places and see things. Then you realize, like, what are we doing here? But these are people that I guarantee probably never left Chicago.

Probably never went on vacation to the South to visit grandparents and realized, damn, the South is nice and quiet and the people are friendly and they've never been to the zoo and saw an animal and went home and Googled the mating rituals of this. Open your mind. Open your mind. You see the world. The stuff that you're involved in becomes just so small.

This guy, I don't like this guy because he has on red and I have on blue. I don't get it. So education. That tiny little area, you know, that he operates in with living his life, it does matter. You know, it's a reality. Right, right. Your reality is what's around you.

Yeah, that's what's – Until you get a scope of a bigger world. Like I grew up in the hood. I grew up in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, one of the wildest neighborhoods when I was growing up there. But my vision was past it. My vision my vision was yeah this is going on outside but i'm gonna be there one day what do you attribute the having the ability to do that too uh having a mom and a dad my pops my father worked two full-time jobs my whole childhood my father

literally worked 80 hours a week 80 so just to see him go every day, like, damn, this dude works hard, man. Wow. Didn't have a lot to show for it. Made sure his kids had. Mom was a teacher. Education was, you know, she made an emphasis on it. Wow.

You know, it was like my friends, one of my best friends down the block, no dad. My friend across the street, no dad. My friend across the street, no dad. My friend two doors down, no dad. Then crack came. And that was everything fucked up. Everything started just, the neighborhood started just to, you know. Yeah, that was like a plague.

Crack was people that are alive today or young kids today, they don't remember the 80s. Yeah. There was like a plague. Yep. A plague hit. Everybody knew somebody that got hit. And so many people's lives were gone.

Done. Done. Over. People who were doing fine and then all of a sudden, whew. Yep. I remember it. I remember it well. Yeah, it was a weird crime wave too.

Yeah, I started losing friends. That's what happened. I remember it well. Yeah, it was a weird crime wave, too. Yeah, I started losing friends. That's what happened. I started losing friends. I saw, like, people don't, it was crazy, man. Like, some of the shit we saw, I saw a friend get shot in the head. Like, talked to him on the corner. Engaged. What's up, man?

Yeah, we going to play ball later. You want to play ball? All right, cool. I'll hit you later. Turned to walk down the block. Looked maybe, you know know a thousand feet away and looked back to like just you know look around the neighborhood and saw a guy just run up bang kind of like he was he looked like if you ever see an old like big daddy cane album yeah he had the flat top and a bunch of jewelry on on the

corner on the payphone this is beeper days you know beep right and you got to turn and the guy ran up on him while he was returning a beep and just tried to rob him and then he went for his gun and the guy just boom right in his head right on the corner of my block right on the corner of my block and i went home and my parents are there and i'm like this is crazy man and that's where i grew up but my vision was not confined to where i was it was i'm gonna be you know you're very fortunate once i get out of here i'm gonna do this and once i leave here i'm gonna you're very fortunate to have those kind of examples you know of your dad who worked like that your mom very fortunate that's awesome yeah man it's hard for some people if they didn't get the break that you got in that regard absolutely that's why i don't i i it's hard for some people if they didn't get the break that you got in that regard.

That's why I don't – it's not missed on me. Like I realize like if I didn't get that – I didn't catch that last chopper. Good for you, man. But that's where character comes from too. I mean having someone like that as an example, like how – someone who can work two full-time jobs. Yeah. That's a force of will. Most people struggle with one, man. One is hard.

Eight hours a day? That's a long time. My dad's rule was everybody had to have a job at 14. So 13 was your last summer. Enjoy yourself at 13. Have a ball. Do whatever you want to do. 14, you're getting a job.

Wow. Yep. No, he didn't play at all. 14, job. Yeah, you know, those guys, the thing is, man, that's a bitter pill to swallow when you're young. But, damn, the dudes who go through that always seem like they have an extra gear. You know, I know a lot of dudes who went through, like, boot camp type dads,

and they did not like it. But they can do some shit, like just a little bit more shit that other people can do. They might not like the fact their dad was always telling them what to do, but these motherfuckers can hike 20 miles and not complain. My dad wasn't boot camp,

but it was like, you're going to work. That's not even a question. You're going to work. And then I have so many siblings that what his rule was, we all had to take care of each other. So my oldest brother, of course he turns 14 first.

He's working. He gets paid. You have to give everybody $5. You got paid today, give all your siblings $5. Wow. Next brother gets a job. Now it's two brothers working. Give everybody $5.

Wow. So we all had to, it was like a. Socialism. Yeah, my dad just made sure it all worked. That's cool. That's very generous, too. That's like everybody, that's forcing everybody to be in it together right

that's smart and taking man and then it was the rule was it was uh if your brother's in a fight you're in a fight so then it became

don't fuck with the rock brothers because there's so many of them you have to fight all of them so that kind of kept us safe during this whole you know wow that's awesome

and what a it's a bad situation to be in, but a great place to develop character. There's a lot of opportunities to develop character there. You know who you are. You know that you develop a sense of go and get it. Work hard. No excuses. Nobody's doing it for you.

Nobody's coming to save you. You're responsible for you. Yeah, man. We all need to have a little bit more of that in our life and then also a little bit more community, too. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. And we grew up in a time where it was next door neighbor could spank you. Right.

Lady across the street could grab you and make you sit down on the stoop until your mother came home. Right, right. The guy in the bodega at the corner would tell you to sit inside until your mother came home yeah people would uh they would police the neighborhood right now we live in now we live in don't talk to my kid don't touch my kid yeah right get off my son don't touch my child you know there's a lot of that well it's because somebody man this is the weird balance i've talked about this recently but my cousin i saw my cousin get smacked by some lady once when we were we were were both like, my cousin's a year younger than me. So I might've been six and she might've been five somewhere around there. It wasn't any older than that. And this lady

cuffed her right in the face, man. She fell, this lady fell on the ice and my cousin just happened to be there. And she was looking at her on the ground and she did not laugh at her, but the lady said she laughed at her. The lady got up. She was just angry that she fell and hurt herself. She got up and smacked my cousin right in the face. My cousin fell down. I remember seeing it and realizing I couldn't do anything about it to save her, to help her. I was a little kid, too, and being terrified that this grown-up person just smacked this little kid in the head

for something that wasn't even real. You don't want that either, right? It's like, don't touch my kid. It's probably better in the long run with crazy people smacking your kid. That's not helping raise a child. That's being a mean-ass adult. That's just a crazy – she was a crazy lady that lived in our building. That was always the thing about living in apartment buildings, right?

There's always somebody who died, right? Somebody always died, and you would be walking by that apartment going, what the fuck is that? What is that smell, man? You ever smell a dead body when somebody died in the house? Dude, it is crazy how bad it smells. It's so bad. People smell so bad when they die.

It's insane. Thank God I never smelled a dead body. Dude, the entire floor smelled like a body. It was so gross. Even after the body was gone is a problem. It took a while, I'm sure, for them to clean it. I hardly remember. I just remember there was a terrible, terrible smell

in the hallway, and then they realized that this lady had died in her apartment. So then they go in to get the body, but I don't remember how long it took for them to clean up the smell but the smell was unbelievably bad wow and then somebody moves in and all the neighbors like you know somebody died in there yeah they don't tell you shit tell you that's the dead now you walk past the dead house don't they have to tell you now like if someone got murdered in a house i think that's a law that wasn't a law before i don't think it was

i think in some places maybe it was a law that's's not a law. They just sell you a house. It's like, hey, you figure it out. What happened in here? Nothing but good times. Enjoy your house, fucko. Nothing but good times in here. Why are there bullet holes in the wall? Hey, you bought it.

Hey, people get crazy in this neighborhood. They like to celebrate New Year's Eve, Fourth of July. I don't know, man. You should probably know. Do you believe in haunted houses? Not really. No? Not really.

I haven't experienced one, so I don't give it much thought, put it that way. I don't believe in ghosts, but I don't not believe in ghosts. Have you experienced paranormal? Nope. experienced no paranormal nope but imagine you're out in the desert and all of a sudden you see an apparition walk towards you in the desert and then this is happening you just imagine just imagine okay I'm in the desert and it's nighttime it looks right at you and it looks like like a teacher that you knew from like seventh grade or something this is that night at night and then

advantage great teacher then it vanishes great teacher and it vanishes right in front of you do you tell people yeah what do you tell them my fucking seventh grade teacher just popped up in people oh Tony we're gonna get you to a doctor Tony rocks gone crazy no you know you would do you tell the people you trust even if the people you trust they'd be like you okay're okay. Let me fill your head. I've never experienced it. I would put you in a category. Oh, Tony Rock might be crazy.

You'd have to go into that category. Then I'd have to accumulate more data. I'd have to say, well, every time I talk to him, he seems reasonable and intelligent. He's a really funny guy. I don't think he's crazy. I think I saw him. I was out there by myself. It was nighttime. Dude, I was talking to this dude. It was nighttime, you know.

Dude, I was talking to this dude once. He pulls out his phone and starts showing me pictures of clouds. I go, what is that? He goes, here's another one. Look at this one here. I go, what is it? He goes, look at this one here. I see them everywhere.

I go, what do you see? And he goes, flying saucers. These are clearly ships from outer space. And you saw clouds. They're in the clouds. They're inside the clouds yeah he's got pictures his phone was like remember when jack nicholson was in the shining all work no play makes jack a dull boy just types it over and over again this dude his whole phone was just

clouds he shows me the pictures on his phone i was like oh no yeah that's a little different dude he had hundreds of pictures of clouds. And what'd you say? I didn't know what to say. He's a grown man, older than me. What was I going to say? Okay. That's what I usually say. Okay.

There's nothing to say. You think those are spaceships? I'm looking at clouds, and you think they're spaceships. Something's wrong here. I don't want to be mean. He seems like a nice guy. Okay is probably the best bet. Yeah, what do you say? Yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. Hey man, maybe he's right. Maybe he has some They Live glasses that I don't have. Remember that movie with Roddy Roddy Piper? I've got one that can see! He's looking at those photos and he sees some shit that my puny brain can't see. That's possible too.

What if people can see stuff like that? What if people can see some stuff and we should be so clear in our sight i think it's entirely possible that people have senses that they can detect things and feel things the the real question is how many of those people are being honest about it and how often does it really happen because people the problem is there's a tendency this is the tendency people love to pretend they have some psychic power right or they have some paranormal gift or they're different

and exceptional in some way without earning it from everybody else. People love to do that. Like, I just have a sense. I have a sense of things. Because they like the attention. Yeah. I just know. I just know, man. I just have a fucking instinct and I always go on my gut. But that doesn't mean you're always right. So you got to wonder like how many people really do feel like something's wrong when something's wrong? Right. And how many people really do, like, know not to go to a place? Like, something is telling them not to go?

Like, something's strong? And how many people are just full of shit? And how many people, after the fact, pretend they had a voice that told them not to do it? I don't know about the voice, but I know that that's real. That instinct to say, hey, don't go there. Yeah. But I know that that's real. That instinct to say, hey, don't go there.

A lot of times. There's been times in my life where I just followed the instinct and ended up. I remember one time something happened to my brother Brian. My brother Brian is my favorite brother in the whole world. Everybody knows this. Well, the other brothers are mad right now. No, everybody knows Brian is my favorite. Brian got. A guy tried to rob Brian in the neighborhood one day.

He got in a fight with a guy, and the guy cut his face. And he went to the hospital. And I was at work, and my brothers called me. The guy tried to rob Brian, and I didn't know where the hospital was. I jumped on the train. I took the train a few stops. I jumped off. I jumped on another train.

Took it a few stops. I'm like, fuck. I jump on another. Like, you know how you transfer in New York on the subway? Jump on the third train and take it a few stops and get off and come up to the street and I ask the guy walking hey man do you know where Kings County Hospital is and he says right there

and I had no idea I just fucking felt it like I gotta get to my brother wow and I literally hey man where's that he's like right there and I just I just felt it like i gotta find my brother and that's all i was thinking about wow yeah i believe you i believe that's real i

know for a fact that i've been thinking about people that called me but i don't know about you know see that they live glasses i don't know no i don't think that's real but i i know there's something that happens sometimes when you're thinking about someone they call you right because sometimes it happens where this person is like so far out of your memory right like you haven't talked to them in a year and a half and you're like dude how the fuck did you know i was just i was just thinking of you like man i was just thinking about you just call them check and see what's the way the the the wave is so something yeah it connects you put a frequency that's so strong in the air that i... I think there's something to that.

Wait. What is this? Ghostbusters laws? Yeah. Many states passed legislation in the 1980s and early 1990s to protect sellers and real estate brokers from buyers claiming they were damaged by the seller's failure to disclose the presence of ghosts. Wow. These laws became known as Ghostbuster laws after the 1980s era movie comedy, Connecticut Ghostbusters Law, first appeared in 1990.

Wow. Psychological impact is a thing. Psychological impact became non-material. Huh. Non-material fact concerning real property. The overhaul also replaced the reference to HIV with a reference to the Commissioner of Public Health's list of reportable diseases. Reportable diseases. Huh. Wow, man.

This is all, yeah, I mean, I guess they have to do that, right? They have to do that. I mean, you don't want someone to know that, like, there was a house that I saw in Boulder that was for sale. The house where JonBenet Ramsey was killed, and they couldn't sell it. I think they even changed the name of the street or something crazy like that.

Wow. And they still couldn't sell it, and it was, like, a really nice house. People were just like, no thanks. Wow. That house is just poison. That's like Bundy, right? They tore Bundy down.

OJ's house. Oh, yeah. Did they tear it down? What was it called? Rockingham? Yeah. Dude, there could be some fucking psycho could move there. You know, want to live where the king lived.

The apartment, though, the condo is still there. Kato still lives there. No to live where the king lived. The apartment, though, the condo is still there. Cato still lives there. OJ's house is gone, but the murder scene is still there. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Really?

That is a... Why would they tear down OJ's? Somebody just made a call. That's sad. Yeah. That was one of those stories. Oh a call. That's sad. Yeah. That was one of those stories. Ghostbusters Law. Oh, my God, that's hilarious.

Yeah, I wonder whether or not a house. Your Honor, are we going to go back to reference Ghostbusters Law number one? I think they usually say it by. I would like to call Ray Parker Jr. as a character witness. I don't think in court they ever use those names, right? They just use, like, the docket number or... Nah, you got to say Ghostbusters. Do you have to say it?

Are you allowed to say it in court? You got to come in with the music playing. Ghostbusters. Yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah. That's something new. Have you ever been a place where it felt weird?

Where you found out That someone died there You ever been in a place Where you felt the presence No I've been in places That felt weird Because you know Some violence was gonna pop off And I knew it

Right Oh yeah And I was like Let's get the fuck out of here Right That you can tell You can feel that sometimes Somebody dying

Yeah No I was at a concert once And a bra broke out And I quit I was a security guard And I was in Neil Young concert

And it broke out And I put a hoodie on I zipped it up I covered my security outfit And I walked right I was a security guard. And I was in a Neil Young concert. And it broke out. And I put a hoodie on. I zipped it up. I covered my security outfit. I walked right the fuck out of there. I was like, you're out of your fucking mind if you think I'm jumping into this fray and getting clocked in the head by somebody. People were fighting. And they canceled the show and kicked everybody out.

People were lighting fires. show and kicked everybody out. People were lighting fires. I was at, what was it? The Vibe Awards when Dr. Dre got jumped and Young Buck stabbed the guy. I was there. Wow. I was doing a show for UPN. This was

back when UPN was still a network. One of the execs from UPN was there with her young son who wanted to see all the rappers. He's sitting at the table with us. And I saw the G-Unit group come in. Yeah. Then I saw the Death Row guys come in.

Then I saw Dre's group come in. And I'm sitting there. And I tell, I forgot the lady's name. I said, hey, you might want to get your kid out of here. Something's about to go down. Whoa. And she's like, what do you mean? I'm like, it's about to go.

And she's like, he's so excited. He wanted to see Dre. And he loves 50 Cent. And I'm, listen, get this kid. It was a little white kid too. I'm like, oh my God, there's, can I go say hi? And I'm like, you might want to get him out of here. And when, it's like the second time I said it, like, yo, you might want to really get him out of here. It's going to pop off. Boom. Dre gets punched in the face. Melee, Young Buck stabs a guy. And I'm like, told you. Jesus. And like two days later on set, she's just like, how did you know just like how did you know that like I know the I know the energy

in the room I can feel it I've been around it too many times that's a crazy feeling too when people are about to do something ridiculous yeah

you see the walk you see the look you know that's like it's sad but it's true like when you grow up in the hood

you have that instinct you have that that look you look at a guy walk past you one time and you look around the room and, okay, it's about to go. Yeah. It's about to go.

Yeah, people that have never experienced that probably wouldn't know what to do. Right. They would think nothing of it, like that lady. Like she'd never seen those signs before. Yeah. I've been on the road. This was recently, like maybe three months, four months ago. I had

my feature comic with me. He's from Chicago actually. We're in a club after the show and there's a couple guys talking in the corner. I said something to a girl. She's like, hey, Tony Rock, have a little small talk. She walks over to the group of guys. One guy walks over and stands at the end of the bar here.

One guy stands at the end of the bar here and one guy stands at the end of the bar here and I turn to my friend Dave and I go, yo, you ever been to a fight in a bar before? And he said, no. I said, get ready, motherfucker. You about to be in one. Because I saw it. Jesus.

And then the third guy comes over. It's so funny. The third guy comes over and he's like, oh shit, you are the comedian. And I said, yeah. He said, I thought that was you. We was over there talking. I was like, I thought that was the comedian guy.

And he's like, I got a good picture, man. I took a picture with him and he calls the other guy. I'm like, yeah, it said, I thought that was you. We was over there talking. I was like, I thought that was the comedian guy. And he said, I got a good picture, man. I took a picture with him. And he calls the other guy. I'm like, yeah, it was the comedian. It was him. And it was like, he kind of just squashed it because I guess they didn't know who I was. And it was going to go because I said something to the girl. And then he's like, no, it's the comedian.

And I'm like, hey, fellas, what's up? And I turn into the comedian. I'm like, what's up, guys? How y'all doing? Y'all all right? What did you guys need to drink? Let's do a round of shots. Oh, man. And Dave's up, guys? How y'all doing? Y'all all right? What'd you guys need to drink? Let's do a round of shots. Oh, man.

And Dave's like, dude, how did you know that? I'm like, I know, motherfucker. It was going to go. It was going to go. Yeah. If you ain't never been around violent people, you probably don't smell that vibe. Right? You smell that vibe.

That's a valuable tool to have if you're in those places. Especially if you're on the road in cities, you know, by yourself. On the road, you know, maybe you have a local friend who's like, dude, let me take you to my friend's club. He wants to meet you. Right. And then you're in some place, you're like, how do I get out of here? Where are we exactly?

Or I've been in, hey, my boy's having a party at his house. And I'm like, oh, what the fuck am I doing at his house? You're up in the hill somewhere. I don't even know. You got to drop the car off and get in a bus. I have no point of reference. I'm like, I don't know where I'm at, man. The craziest ones are the ones that have to take you in a shuttle.

You have to park your car here, sir. You're like, what? Are you fucking kidding me? You're going to a shuttle to a party? The worst, I was in Iowa one time. This is a true story. I was in Iowa. I was in Des Moines, Iowa.

Did the show. There's not very many black people in Iowa. So shows up a group of white guys. Like, hey, bro, you're super funny, man. Let's go get a drink. Let's go to the bar right down the street. I'm a New Yorker. Right down the street is literally right down the street.

Right. They get in a truck. He pulls a truck around. He pulls a pickup truck. One of those four-door pickup trucks. Big ones. And there's two guys in the front. And they're like, hey, jump in, man.

And I'm like, hey, fuck it. We're going right down the street. And now we're driving for maybe 10 minutes. And I'm like oh Jesus alright fuck it we're going right down the street and now we're driving for maybe 10 minutes oh Jesus and I'm trying to get a point of reference if I gotta jump out the truck

oh my god it's Iowa it's nothing as far as you can see right or left of the truck just highway and grass right so there's nothing like

if I jump out which way I don't know this is how girls have to feel every time they get in a guy's car yes that feeling so we pull up at a barn, a barn, and the two guys are excited. They jump out, and they run around the other side of the barn like,

hey, bro, come around this way. Oh, no. And they turn, and I can't see them now. Oh, no. And I say to myself, like, holy shit, this is how it's going to end. This is it right here. Oh, my God. And I turn the corner, and i see the neon light that

says girls girls girls i had never been so excited to see the ugliest strippers in the world it was like yes yes i want a lap dance from this wildebeest yes i'm not dead i want all the lap dances because i thought i was gonna die five seconds ago oh my god you thought they were taking you to a barn somewhere. You go back behind there, there's chains hanging from the rafters. Exactly. Oh, my God. That shit's happened before.

That's the crazy thing about people. Like, the worst thing. You know, I'm watching this show, Vikings. You ever watch it, Jamie? You got to binge. It's a good goddamn show. I think I'm on season three or four. I can't remember.

Damn. I never saw it. It's a good goddamn show. I think I'm on season three or four. I can't remember. Damn. I never saw it. It's a good fucking show. But it just shows you how brutal people were back then. Like, every day, someone's getting fucked up on that show. That show is a guarantee people are going to die. Every episode. I'm going to check it out.

People are getting drowned. People are holding them underwater. Little kids are killing people with axes. Like, it's crazy. That show is fucking crazy. Every day, people are getting jacked and murdered and killed. You sound like you like it. It's a fucking good show.

I enjoy it. But the point is, like, these people were, like, this was life for these fucking people. Right, right. That was a real world situation. Yeah, your reality is what your reality is. It's like people that don't understand your reality, well, you're not from this world. This is a real thing to us, to know how a fight's going to pop off, to know when a guy's strapped, to know when this is our reality. What's crazy is that we like to think that that doesn't exist anymore, that that Viking style of living doesn't exist.

But it does. They just use guns now. It's just happening like that with guns. That's all it is. It's basically that same kind of like conqueror, survivor mentality. Bullets and fuck you and fuck him.

The guys that run into the jewelry store and smash the glasses. That's pillaging and plundering, right? It's like as old as time. It's just confined to certain areas now and it's not spreading out like the Vikings did in giant boats and getting on the sea. And they're not doing it like the Vikings did it. Some aspect of it was just trying to discover new lands.

Yeah. Yeah, they were trying to farm and shit. Yeah. There's meat over here, or there's gold here. Yeah. Now they just do it because it's like, have to eat them you know i want those sneakers man i wish i could see what it was really like back then because it's like you watch the show and the show's really cool but you know they're actors and they're doing a great job and everything but you still know they're

actors and you're watching them do things and everything's really well done it's a really well done show but still you're like man i wish i could see it in real life. To just be where it was happening in real life. Can you imagine just being alive back then when the best clothes were made out of fucking animal hides? You just draped in buffalo skins and shit. Or you killed a buffalo. You ate the village, ate the buffalo. You used every piece of it. They lived in these bays.

It was clothes, it was food. They would take their boats out and catch fish and bring them in, and people would be waiting on the docks to see if they were going to eat tonight. Right. And there's only like 200 people in the town, so if a plague hit, half the people would be dead. A woman would have a baby right in front of you. Yeah.

Wrap it in a blanket, and that was it. Dude, that's how people lived forever. Yeah. People lived like that for thousands of years. And they lived. And they lived. They actually lived. They thrived.

Right. But wouldn't you take this over that? I would take this, yes. They would, too. They'd be like, you fucking asshole. You want to be a Viking? I want to drive a Cadillac. I would take the bottled water, yes.

They'd be like, no, no, no. Fuck riding a horse, dude. I drove an Escalade today. That shit is so smooth. It's comfortable. The AC is hot outside, but it's cool in here. I play this music. I'm wirelessly charging my phone right there.

It's like they would be like, you're an asshole if you want to live like us. All you campers, the fuck is he doing? And then some guy that doesn't have any of that fucking opens your door with a gun, and now he's the Viking. Exactly. I need this. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you don't take care of that problem, this is the thing. It never gets better. It's like a part of, it's like if you were a person and you had like a thing that was wrong with you, like a big cancerous legion on your leg and you just ignored it, fuck it, whatever. Just keep on trucking. It's going to keep growing. Yeah. But that is exactly what any sort of crime infested area is.

It's a problem that if you don't address, it's not going to get any better. And it probably is going to get worse. People don't address the problems in society until it affects them. What do you think they could do, though? Besides just education, how do you stop as much crime? How do you give people counseling? Well, you can get the guns out of Chicago. You can get the guns out of anywhere if you want to. You think so? How would they get the guns out of Chicago. You can get the guns out of anywhere if you want to.

You think so? How would they get the guns out? They would get most of the guns out, right? You can get most of the guns out. You can do that. But do you run the risk of taking guns away from people that could defend themselves in a really dangerous area that's filled with guns? By taking? By taking the guns out.

Like, what about people that are also... Like, who are you going to take the guns away from? You're going to take the guns away from the lady who runs the bakery, who carries a lot of cash at the end of the day? No, lady that runs the bakery keeps her gun. Lady that runs the bakery that has a business that provides goods and services for the neighborhood... That wants protection. That wants protection, keeps her gun.

Did you see that recent video? There's a crazy video of these two gals behind a stove. And one lady's cooking. Oh, yeah. Saw it yesterday. And the guy punched her in the face. The guy comes back and wails her in the head. And then the other girl pulls a gun at him.

She keeps her gun. Yeah. She keeps her gun because shit like that might happen. But that guy, now imagine if he had a gun. That's a good thing for people to see. This is why. And I'm not saying everybody should have guns. It's a good thing for people to see. This is why, and I'm not saying everybody should have guns. It's a good thing for people to see because you only hear the other side.

You only hear guns being dangerous and killing people. You don't hear people like that lady that just saved herself from getting the fuck beat out of her with a gun. I saw that video, and then I saw the other video was a guy in a jewelry store. He comes in, two or three guys, hoodies on, mask on. You see the guys coming through the door pulling their mask down. Oof. It's like on the camera. Right.

And then you see a guy walk away from the jewelry display. He walks, the camera's shooting this way, so he walks out of range of the camera. And when the guys come in, he comes back blasting. Boom. Whoa. That guy keeps his gun. Jesus. He just started shooting

as soon as it's on? No, they came in, guns out. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. So what happened? It was customers in there, too. No, he hit one. He hit the first guy.

There was customers in there. Yeah, and other two ran out and you see the guy run out of camera range. Can you imagine being in a fucking jewelry store trying to buy a watch for your wife and a gunfight breaks out?

Engagement ring. You're just like, I'm so in love. Me and my girl are going to get... And the guy just comes in. And you think this could be it. This is how I'm going to go. Yeah. My kids are never going to see me again.

Or you think, you know what? This is a sign we shouldn't get married. Blah! Blah! I was so in love, but that shit was scary. I just have too much PTSD to get married right now. That's hilarious. Some other time.

That is hilarious. Yeah, but you run a business, you keep your gun. You keep your gun. Yeah. You're just a guy on the corner. 20 guys on the corner. Cops stop them. Frisk.

Okay. Taking these guns. It's going to be hard to get them all, man. And the problem is defining who gets to keep one and who doesn't get to keep one. It's very sketchy. Let's have that argument later. Let's get the guns first.

Because 1,400 people just got shot. But the problem with that is you're never going to get them back. Once you take them away, whoever got the guns taken away, they're never getting their guns back. Well, no. You've got to take the guns, and then there has to be more to just that. You've got to take the guns, and there has to be an increased police presence. You have to take the guns, and there has to be more to just that you got to take the guns and there has to be an increased police presence you have to take guns and they have to be something to do when school lets out you have to take the guns and they have to be uh you know

counseling for drug offenders and you take the guns and there has to be jobs in the neighborhood you know it's a lot of steps that have to go but but you can it can be done Yeah. You could definitely get the illegal guns, right? If you could somehow or another get access to them, the illegal guns. The legal ones are going to be real tough because if someone has a gun legally and they haven't committed a crime, it's going to be real hard to take that gun away from them.

Yeah, but I don't think if they did the numbers, the guys with legal guns aren't the guys that are... Committing all these crimes, right. The guy with a legal gun, I'm pretty sure, isn't the guy that drove past this party and shot up. Then you've got to worry about the people with legal guns getting robbed for their guns. If guns become

a shortage. The whole thing is very, it's a real problem and it's very complicated, I think, to try to completely solve it. And how do you get these people that are in that life, that are every day involved in gang violence? I could be wrong.

I don't think everybody that's in gang life wants to be there. I think you're right. No, I think you're definitely right. I think they're just like, what the fuck else is there to do in this neighborhood? You're right. You're right. I think if they had an opportunity to, you know, I think the guy,

the kid that is a very good basketball player, that his uncle was, like I said, his family lineage is gang life. If he had a chance to go play basketball somewhere, he would take that chance. I think you're totally right. And I think in the absence of any other chances,

that's when it becomes something that's an option. Right. Yeah. And I think it's all about the same feeling that people get when they're joining gangs or when they're like a staunch right winger or a staunch left winger. I think it's all the same thing. It's like people have a desire to belong to something. Make something that makes your life have more meaning.

Absolutely. Or feel like it has more meaning. Absolutely. And then when you don't have that, you'll get behind anything you get behind anything yeah like i say on instagram all the time it's like uh i told my little brother just yesterday that's the reason why they call them followers because they just want to get behind they don't even understand yeah if you it's like i get a my instagram is hilarious because i get a lot of people like i'll get girls that are like hey i love what you're doing i saw your shows then i get the random guy that's like you're you know shit you're just chris's brother you ain't

shit and it's like dude that's what you like you think that's gonna hurt me like but it's the problem you just want it to be involved in this you just want it to be a part of it you didn't you wanted my attention you didn't know how to get it well the problem is the desire to do that in the first place like who the fuck are you like why would you want to do that why do you want to make somebody feel bad for no reason? Right. For what? You want to be involved in some capacity. Here's a tip to anybody that thinks like that. There's no way you're not

a loser. It's impossible. There's not a single winner alive that would write something like that. Absolutely. Do you think maybe like Michael Jordan goes trolling through Instagram accounts looking for shit? Yeah, you're gonna do shit with that brother. Can you imagine? You had to sign with the Lakers to be –

It's like, get the fuck out of here. That's what it is. It's losers and it's winners, man. Yeah. Losers always have an excuse for why they're not winners. It's weird. It's weird. And I think a lot of it is people not having good examples around them

when they're growing up, getting fucked over, being in a bad situation. It's like we're just developing shitty people or at least people that have shitty ideas in these cycles where it just doesn't ever get better in certain spots i agree i think we're making more shitty people now there's more shitty people than before i agree but i feel like we could put a curb on that i feel like we could slow it down i really do how do we curb people have to change the way they think about shit it's just it's this time is too short to be shitty. You know, and everybody's been shitty. I've been shitty before. I'm sure you've been Jamie shitty the other day. Remember? I'm just kidding. We all have been, you know, it's just people have to figure out a way to do that less and resist

the urge to do it. That urge to do it is a bad urge. It doesn't help anybody. You just, you just feel good because you made somebody feel bad? Like, for what? You don't even know Tony Rock. Why are you talking shit to him? Like, what is that, dude? Fuck him, bro. His fucking brother was the reason why I know about him in the first place. So he's fucking lucky I know who he is. Hoo-hoo. Hoo-hoo.

But that's like a fake... That's like a fake sense of feeling better about yourself. Because it doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. It doesn't at all. And it clearly doesn't affect me. It doesn't hurt me one bit. It also defines you to yourself because you know you're not a winner because it's impossible.

Right. You think Elon Musk goes and trolls on Twitter and says mean shit to people and talks about girls' asses. He doesn't have the time for that, right? He's a winner. He's busy rescuing the... Oh, they got those kids out of the cave in Thailand. Yeah. Everybody's out.

Everybody's out. That's one of those baby in a well type things. Every few years, like a little kid falls into a well. Why does that happen once a year? I don't know, man. We need to fix wells. I don't think people would learn. That shit should not be an option.

It happens once a year. Little kids fall down a well. That and the guy blowing his pinky finger off on July 4th. It happens every year. You would think people wouldn't learn. Oh, that's probably happening all year round in Texas. Right? In Texas.

Places where you can go to Mexico real quick, sneak over there and buy firecrackers. I know every 4th of July in Brooklyn is like, Mike lost his finger. I bet if they had a video across America, you know how they have those time-lapse videos and you can see every kid ever documented that lost a finger in a firecracker accident? It would look like hands are at war with firecrackers. You could just look

across the country and see from California to New Jersey and just see every kid losing a finger. Oh my god, that one pocket would just be... Man, every year. a finger. Oh my God. That one pocket would just be every year. Every year. Did you see the NFL player?

He posted a picture of his hand. Yes. Oh no. Jason Pierre Paul. Show it to me. Oh no. Oh shit. What happened? That was July 4th last year? Two years ago? Like, oh, no. Yeah, it's back. Oh! Oh, shit.

What happened? That was July 4th last year. Two years ago? Two years ago. He blew up his hand. He's a basketball player? M-80. NFL. Oh, my God.

M-80 in his hand. Oh, my God. So he lost fingers. Yeah. And millions of dollars. So that was it? It was over after that? He played again.

So he came back and played with a cast on his hand. Yeah. He's still playing. He got traded. He got traded to Tampa Bay. Wait a minute. He can play football? He's just a defense. He's just tackling. He has like a mitten. Oh. Oh, okay. He's defense.

Dude, what in the fuck, though? He blew his thumb off, man. And his index finger. He blew three fingers off. I don't know what that is. That's the middle finger. That's his middle finger. That's his middle finger. That was his middle finger. And one of those ones on the other side.

That's ringing pinky. Jesus. Fuck, man. That is terrifying. Wow. He shared that on the fourth to like... He posted a video

and was like, be careful on the fourth and had his hand... Good for him. Yeah, good for him. Yeah, fuck those things, man. They're too easy to get in some spots. You know?

Like if you're on a border city, just sneak over to Juarez. Yeah, yeah! We wouldn't even see him in Brooklyn until around the 4th, and they disappeared after that. I took a drive to Tijuana once. We were working in San Diego,

La Jolla, La Jolla Comedy Store. We took a drive right down to Tijuana, and there's a weird feeling you get. I've never been to Tijuana. This was Tijuana in the 90s, man. This is like when it down to Tijuana. There's a weird feeling you get. I've never been to Tijuana. This was Tijuana in the 90s, man. This is like when it was still Tijuana, Tijuana. You might not come back. Now people go there for cheap dental work.

They do. They do. People sneak across the border to go to a dentist. Why would you go to Tijuana to go to a dentist? Because they're good dentists. Really? But it's just super cheap. Holy shit, no.

Yeah, cost of living over there is cheap. My dentist is in Beverly Hills. You want that dude to play prime real estate. Yeah, man. Yeah, you need to get paid. Yeah, you want a dentist that's really hustling, not a dentist that's like, it's easier if you just go to Juarez. And don't women go down and get butt injections also now?

Ooh, do they? They get fake titties and butt injections. Whoa, really? Yeah. Oh, man. In hotel rooms. Like, you go to a hotel. What is this?

What is that? It's the map. Here's the border. And there's all the dentists right on the main street. Holy shit. Right on the main street. Right off the border. Isn't that crazy?

Who's the first guy right there? Central. Yeah, that guy. Tijuana Clinic for Cosmetic Dentistry. Holla at your boy. I'm going to get some pearly white, son. I'm tired of these marijuana and coffee stained chop boy. I'm going to get some pearly white, son. I'm tired of these marijuana and coffee stained choppers.

I'm going down there. I'm going to come back pretty. I'm not going to say shit, Jamie. I'm just going to disappear. I've never been to Tijuana, man. I'm going to tell you I'm going on a hunting trip and then I'll strike out and then I'll come back with some shiny choppers. That's what the women are doing. We go into Miami for the weekend. They come back from Tijuana with fake tits.

One's higher than the other one. Fake tits are a weird one man because we'd never accept anything like that on a dude but on a girl we're like take it you're right

like if a guy had like fake traps I just like that look I like that look if guys just put fake traps in because they found other girls like traps

if there was a one thing like that you're right there's nothing that a guy could what nothing's even close nothing's even close so we're like I'll take it I'll take it we don't care if there was a one thing like that. You're right. There's nothing that a guy could... What? Nothing's even close.

Nothing's even close. So we're like, I'll take it. I'll take it. We don't care. We're so much easier than them. That's what it is. That's why. That's why.

We're so much easier to excite. If I have a fake ass, guys are like, you're right. They don't care. Guys with a fake ass, imagine if a girl was like, your butt is so big. You must be able to jump so high. And the guy's like, no, I had my butt done last year.

Girl would be like, what? Yeah. Did you really just say that? What did you say? Guys don't care. And then he said, ready? He said, I got my butt done. That's what he said.

I got my butt done. That would be his nickname. They'd have a nickname about him. They would. They'd call him butt done. Guys don't care. We just like, my cousin used to have a joke. He said, I don't give a fuck what's in your titties.

Just fuck me. Whoa. That guy's aggressive. That's funny. Yeah. Well, if women can hear the ridiculous shit that men say when they're not all the time, the shit that makes us laugh. The gross thing is people trying to pretend that we mean everything we say, too.

Especially with comedy. With men in comics. Yeah. But right now, men in comedy. Men in comedy. Right, right. Yeah. That's the problem. Yeah.

It's like some of this stuff we're just joking, you know? Like, stop being so serious. Most of it. We're just joking. Yeah. Do you find that this is a more sensitive time for comedy? That's what I'm being told, and that's what I see in the news, but I refuse to change anything I do.

You kind of can't, right? I'm not doing it. I'm not saying jokes and then having to issue a statement later. I was saying a joke, man. If you didn't take it the way I interpreted it, if you interpreted it the wrong way, that's still on you. I'm not doing it.

Yeah. It's just supposed to be funny, stupid. Right. It was funny to somebody, you know? It's weird that it's okay to do in a movie. Like,

you could have some ridiculous scenes in a movie, but when you have a ridiculous thing that you're saying, like, people take it as a fact because oh he's not even acting because yeah right yeah there's no acting it's like you said it yeah joe rogan believes this yeah this is your perspective thanks that yeah it's interesting i think this is a like a very unique time in communication for people it's one of the reasons why stand-up is a little bit more challenging right now.

But I think that's all a good thing, man. Challenging is good. Yeah, it's all good, man. It's all good. It'll make for a better product. Yeah, it's all good. It's all good. It's all interesting.

Where have you been working mostly these days? The first quarter I was on tour with Mike Epps. I was Mike Epps. We went out from January to like March, April. And then I do my own thing. You went on a tour tour. Yeah, yeah. The real deal.

Yes. Like every week. Mike brings them out, man. Like 10,000, 12,000. Jesus Christ. It's fucking incredible, man. When you're doing a tour like that, man, and you're, do you do it how many nights a week? We do Friday and Saturday.

If it's a three-day weekend, we do a Sunday. Oh, so every week, Friday, Saturday, Friday, Saturday. And then are you working in the city at all? Are you working in here? I'm always working in the city. I'm always working when I'm here. Yeah. Yeah, that gets you sharp as fuck, man.

Right, right. And then I do that. And then from there, I do 20, maybe 25 minutes with Mike. Then when that leg is done, I do from April, May to October, September, October, Funny Bones improv, just comedy clubs, more intimate settings with the guys I bring out. Yeah. And we do that until, you know, L.A. needs me. I'll be on the road.

And now they just added more dates for Mike for the fourth quarter. So we're doing West Coast now. We're doing Portland and San Fran and Oakland and San Diego and California and Phoenix. It's going to be incredible, man. You're one of those guys where I'm like, what the fuck is going on? How come people haven't caught on to the fact that Tony Rock's one of the funniest guys alive? Yeah, I had a lady at the show the other night. She said, I think the whole world is sleeping on you.

And I said, that's the fucking best compliment I've ever heard in my life. Well, the thing is, man, you've been under the radar, but getting better. Like, I remember I came up to you. That's all that matters. As long as I'm getting better, I'll pop up on your radar at some point. I don't remember how long ago this conversation was. How long have you been doing comedy now? 98.

98. So I think we had this conversation more around the year 2000-ish. It was fairly recent in you starting doing stand-up. We were talking at the Laugh Factory, and I remember coming up to you and going, dude, you got good. You got good. You really made a big jump. Yes, every day, man. And you were saying, I'm working, man.

I'm out here working. Every day. And I remember watching that set and thinking, I don't remember what year this was, but I want to say it was like 2002 or three or something like that. Watched the set. I was like, oh, dude, this guy's about to pop. Nice. Nice.

Yeah. I'll be under the radar until I'm not. Yeah, man. That's the thing. Every time I see you, you're getting better. That radar is a good thing. And then people say, oh, he blew up, but not knowing that, like you said, it was 2000 we had this conversation. It's a fucking grind, baby.

It's a grind. You got to be in it, though. You got to be in it. It's a lot of guys. A lot of guys I work with at the Laugh Factory. You know, I see them all the time. Ruben Paul. You know Ruben Paul.

Sure. I see Ruben Paul. He's working. I see, you know, I see, who do I? Everybody. I'm thinking of names. I'm lost in names. But Ruben I see all the time

he does the room there now he has a Tuesday night show that he does it's like we in the trenches man we working yeah that's how to do it

it's the only way too it's the only way in this crazy business it's a weird business man and it's just you know if you stay in that work mode

there's so much stuff going on in the world this material out there you just grab it it's out there yeah there's's so much stuff going on in the world this material out there you just grab it it's out there yeah there's always something fucked up going on

especially today and in your life there's stuff going on you're like okay gotta put that down I mean this is one of the strangest times I think ever

to be a comedian cause you're like woof where do I begin that's a great that's a great intro just walk on stage like

fuck where do I start everything's a mess what do I do where do I begin yeah the whole thing's a great intro. Just walk on stage like, fuck, where do I start, man? Everything's a mess. What do I do? Where do I begin? Yeah, the whole thing's a mess, man. We're buddying up with dictators and who knows what's happening. We got a reality TV star for a president and he's actually, the economy is doing well, so no one knows what to say.

Right. The whole thing is chaos. Woo. The first lady was in Playboy. Woo. The first lady was in Playboy. The first lady was in Playboy. She is the very first hot as fuck first lady. Right? No doubt.

Well, we haven't seen all the first ladies. That's true. She's the very first hot as fuck first lady we've ever seen. She was stylish, right? You shut your mouth. Jackie O was stylish, wasn't she? You shut your mouth, Tony Rock. Was she a fashion icon?

She was okay. She was a fashion icon, right? She was okay. If Melania walked in the room, you? You shut your mouth. Jackie O was stylish, wasn't she? You shut your mouth, Tony Rock. Wasn't she a fashion icon? She was okay. She was a fashion icon, right? She was okay. If Melania walked in the room, we'd start talking to Jackie. No disrespect. No disrespect. She was a beautiful lady.

She certainly was. She was, I'm sure, a wonderful woman. But Melania's like stunning. She's like supermodel stunning. Yeah, especially when she was younger. I don't think she's stunning. Dude, you ever see pictures of her? Young Melania?

No. Dude, when he first married her, she's stunning. Dude, you ever see pictures of her? Young Melania? No. Dude, when he first married her, she's a beautiful woman, like undeniably. Okay. Yeah. Well, you don't have to agree with me. I think she's, I see some attraction there, but I don't know if she's like, holy shit. I think if you're around her in a party and you both had a couple of cocktails. Oh, it might go down.

And she touched your thigh, looked at you. You'd be like, oh, shit, I just got lightheaded. I think you like Melania. Are we pulling a picture up? What are we doing? What are you doing over here? I'm waiting for the picture. Jamie's jerking off over there.

Where's the picture of her in Playboy? That's how hot she is. I was trying to go, how young? Do you have a Playboy picture? No, just show a photo of Melania. Why can't we see the playbook? Here we go. Come on, son.

Oh, that's not bad. She's hot as fuck. That one on the left is not bad. Yeah, that's her when she was younger, but not much younger. I think it's just what she's wearing. She's dressed more conservative now. If you look at her in the far right pic, she's more conservative. Yeah, that's not bad.

That's not bad. Dude, there's not even a close second. She knocked it out of the park. That's a legitimate, professional, hot chick who's the first lady. First ever. Save your bickering, sir. You stop this.

Michelle Obama was gorgeous. That's true, but a different way. A different way. This is her when she was young. Michelle was definitely a different gorgeous. This is a different thing, son. Look at that body sit on the couch. Get the fuck out of Dodge, kid.

Come on. All right, you got it. You got that. It's like the beginning of that door song. Come on. Dun, dun, dun, dun. I mean, come on. That was nice.

That's woof. That's top of the food chain right there. Apparently, she isn't into looks as much. Maybe she just likes the way he treats her. There you go. It's a strange, strange time, Tony Rock. You know? Strange time to be a human being.

As a comic, you gotta love it, like you said. Yeah. Do you like living around here? You know what? I like L.A. I don't love it. It's not like, oh my God. I'm such a New Yorker.

I'm used to that. How long have you been living down here now? Ten years. Ten years? Yeah. But the first three, I would go home every... I was here filming a TV show, so every hiatus week, I would go home. And when the show wrapped, I would go on tour, so I wasn't here the whole time.

The people who like New York, especially New York comics, they say say that New York comics it's more harsh like it's more fun like people insult each other more yeah there's like uh there's a camaraderie to that way way more camaraderie yeah way more yeah yeah I come to LA it's like oh I didn't know we were enemies I didn't know we were all against each other oh do you feel that yeah really yeah Really? Yeah. More so with black comics. Ooh. More so with black comics. Of course, like, you know. That's unfortunate.

I got, unfortunately, I have the brother that everybody's like, you know, he's the best. And I was his brother. Fuck that guy. This guy's regarded as the best, and that's his brother? Fuck him. He's going to get passed along. He doesn't have to work hard. He's going to have know everything handed to him that didn't happen with the wayans brothers like keenan and marlin or uh damon rather why do you think that is i don't know

like they did stuff together keenan every wins and damon wins yeah like when they were both they were both famous at the exact same time. Yeah. People forget how funny Damon was. Damon's a monster. Still. Monster. Still. Monster.

When I used to see him in the 90s, he had a last, his last stand up, I think he called it. He threw the microphone down. Oh, the last stand where he broke the microphone. Yeah. And he was like, I'm done.

I'm never doing this again. That shit is one of my all time favorite specials. It's a powerful. Mike Tyson grabbed his, grabbed his, Mike Tyson grabbed his arm. Mike Tyson grabbed it with a dick. I'll bite you. Hilarious.

Tommy Hearn's piece. Dude, he was so funny. My brother said Damon taught him a lot about how to do stand-up. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Damon was the man. He's still the man. He was a guy who would come in, do late night spots at the comedy store.

He would just show up and they'd put him up whenever he got there. And he would just completely explore ideas. He had no worry about... He wasn't concerned about getting the laugh. He was working it out on stage 100%. I love seeing that. But he was a famous guy at the time. This is after In Living Color. I was a famous guy at the time this is after in living

color i see dave do it all the time whenever i see dave on stage dave is like i don't fuck this room i'm trying to figure this shit out for yeah the show right you know but you also want to entertain the room because they are the show too right so dave is i think the best at dancing through that line he knows how to create new material better than i think anybody i've ever seen i have you seen mark curry oh yeah mark curry yeah we'll go on stage and say give me a topic yeah and make it a 10 minute bit yeah yeah and that shit is impressive he is such a nice guy i think he's so likable like mark curry like one of the nicest fucking guys like when he would come to the comic store everybody would light up he's just so nice Like always Funny

Just real relaxed I like him a lot man Yeah I see I saw him do a lot of sets back then too Back when he was doing Hanging with Mr. Cooper He'd drop in And do that

I haven't seen him in a long time I think he's on tour with Cat right now He's got a sleeper Bronco I think he still has it But he had this like 1980's Black Bronco But he had it all done up like oj bronco it was like an oj bronco but he had uh he had like a engine upgrade in it suspension upgrade tires wheels the whole deal nice it was like an urban assault vehicle like a powerful

bronco that like it just looked like an older Bronco that someone just has on the road. But meanwhile, this thing is like tuned up. Nice. The classics, man. Yeah, and he would drive around that thing. He had a gang of cars. That dude loved cars. Really nice, funny guy. I gotta get some old schools. I want a Trans Am. That's what I want.

I want the Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am. That's what I want. What is this? Oh, that's right. It died. It got hit by a tree. Fuck, that's right. Did it catch on fire? No.

Oh, man. This is the Bronco. That's the Bronco. Big storm last year. Yeah. Damn, the storm last year took Mark Curry's Bronco. He loved that thing, man. That was it.

It was a total sleeper. That car was a sleeper. See, that's when you're smart dudes like him, man. They get sleepers. They like to drive around in a no-notice car. That's how you move around. You got to move around like that. Don't bring too much attention. Yeah, you got to move around. Maybe go wherever you want to go when you want to go, you know? That's a move, man. A no-nonsense Bronco. I need an old school. What kind i like the i like the pickup trucks the old old old chevy 30s or 50s like 50s the chevy with the uh with the like the bubble oh yeah uh tire covers what is that called you know i don't know but i know what you're talking about

there's one that a lot of people redo there's a very specific uh pickup truck. That right there. Oh, I need that. Look at that. I need one of those. 1950 Chevy pickup. Wow. It's crazy what they can do to those, too. I mean, who would have ever thought if you looked at one of those in the flesh in 1950 that someone would have something like that in 2018? That looks like something from the movie Cars.

It cost what? $6,000 in 1950? Did it even cost that much? Let's guess. How much did a pickup truck cost in 1950? I say $1,500. I'm going to say $3,500. How much did a pickup cost in 1950?

Here we go. Drum roll, please. Didn't pop up right off the top. Nothing popped up right off the top. Nothing popped up off the top? No. It might be giving me pricing for now, too, so I'm trying to... Oh. Did you write how much did a pickup truck cost?

Price of in... Retail price in 1950. Maybe that's it. People listening to this are bored out of their fucking mind right now. Like, do you really care? Why do you care? What a pickup truck cost?

1950. Are they watching live? Some people. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up, people? What's up, people? There's a slight delay. Nice.

Oh, for curses? No. Am I cursing? Just because of the internet. I think it's too late. We already fucked it up. How much did it cost? $1,243.

$1,200. Yeah. $1,243. $1,243. $1,243. That's crazy. Insane. I tell you.

Current value, $30,000. Nice. Or so. Yeah, I got to get one. That's what you want. Why a pickup truck and not a muscle car? No, I want that. I want that too.

I want that Spooky the Bandit first. Oh, right, 75. I want Spooky the Bandit first. Of course, I want a Lincoln Continental with the suicide doors. You want one of those? I need that. Wow. Got to have that.

The Spooky and the Bandit, you're going to have the Firebird on the hood? Absolutely. Yeah? Absolutely. Damn. The same one. I want the Ford Mustang. Eleanor?

Yes. Yes. The Gone in 60 Seconds Eleanor? Yes. Yes. The gone in 60 seconds car? Need that. Ooh, that car. That's one of the best looking cars of all time. Probably the. Yeah.

Probably the. 66 Corvette. Beautiful car. Those are great cars. Beautiful car. I have a 65 convertible. Do you really? Yeah.

Love it. So you know. Yeah, they're great cars. Beautiful piece of machinery. It's a crazy look, right? The look back there. The top comes off like... Look at that.

That right there. Wow. That's one of the most beautiful cars ever made in the world. Is's a crazy look, right? The look back there. The top comes off like that right there. Wow. That's one of the most beautiful calls ever made in the world. Is that a 67, Jamie? That's what it says? God. That is incredible. Was it called Eleanor before that movie or did that come from something else? I think it came from the movie, right? Yeah. No, I think it means something. I think Eleanor,

when you say it backwards, like whatever the acronym is. Well, find it. I think that's what they did. I think they took some kind of tuner thing, someone's name, and used it backwards.

It's like Roanoke. Is that it? I remember very vaguely the story of how they came up with the name Eleanor. Anyway, see if you can find it. Yeah, definitely need that. Yeah. That right there.

It's a dope fucking car. Super dope. Maybe I'm thinking the opposite. Maybe what I'm thinking of is someone made a car that's like Eleanor, but they spelled it backwards. I think that might be it. It just says Eleanor is the only Ford one, Mach one in history to receive a car title credit. Take the word Eleanor and spell it backwards and Google that. I think there's a car that they're making where they spell Eleanor backwards.

I think this is where I'm getting it from. The Hyundai Rolleray. The new Hyundai Rolleray. Yeah, what would be Eleanor? 2005 Ronale Mustang. Ah, see, there it is. Yeah, that's what it is. That's where I fucked up.

Yeah, so this is a Mustang that they were spelling Eleanor backwards to make a dope Mustang. Oh, okay, okay. Not bad. Yeah, not bad for a modern car. Those are fun. That's nice. Those are like modern muscle cars. Okay. Not bad. Yeah. Not bad for a modern car. Those are fun. That's nice. Those are modern muscle cars. Look at that shit. That's nice.

Those cars, that year, into the 2015s and 16s, when they kept the... They got rid of the live rear axle somewhere around... I want to say pretty recently, like 2012 or something like that. When was the latest Mustang released, the latest model Mustang?

Before that, they used to have a solid rear axle like a muscle car. It's like a handle, terrible. But it was fun. It would go. But you would stomp on the gas and the thing would go sideways. It would burn out everywhere. It was really like having a modern muscle car with anti-lock brakes and

a stick shift. You buy it from the factory with 550 horsepower. Ridiculous car. Then they got it all the way up to 700 on the last models. The last models of the GT500 were 700 horsepower. Front wheel. Rear wheel drive. Wow. 700 horsepower rear wheel drive. That's crazy.

Solid rear axle. That's insane. Yeah. Big, crazy rear axle bouncing all over. Every pothole you hit, the car goes sideways. Nah. I need that. I need that. Eleanor.

But apparently that's great, though, those old-school-y muscle cars for gripping the ground. There's something about having everything all in one fat axle in the back. Just... Right. Those two black stripes on the asphalt as it goes sideways. There's something about having everything all in one fat axle in the back. Just brrrr! Right. Those two black stripes on the asphalt as you go sideways. Love it.

Love it. What did you say you have? 65 Corvette. Corvette. Yeah. Man, that's nice. I love it. It's an old rumble.

I believe from what I just read that that car was only made for or maybe even used in that original movie. And the guy that made it, H.B. Tobey Halicki, wrote, starred and directed that movie. It's his car. But I think they made several versions. Because I saw a video of them selling one of them. They were selling one of them

online. There's a company called Classic Recreations. They make those now. How you can get a frame? They doreations. They make those now. They'll make you. Oh, you can get a frame? Yeah. No, they do the whole thing from the beginning out.

And they make you like a brand new version of a 1967 Mustang, but with modern engine, modern suspension. How much does something like that cost? Expensive as fuck. Yeah, I could imagine. Expensive as fuck. But if you're some rich dude who just, you know, you look at. You just want one. There's a thing about this, like, flossing, right?

Like, if you have a Lamborghini, you're like, look at this, guys. Doors go up. You know, there's something about that, right? The Lamborghini was made for flossing. Ferrari, same thing. You pull up. Like, look at this motherfucker making it. Woo!

Yep. But if you pull up in one of those things that's that's a different kind of enjoyment that's like you're driving around an art piece exactly you know you that's that's a stress attention grab a storyteller that's yeah that's like people are just gonna stop you yeah it's like a a plus in terms of like the impact it has on on guys in particular see but girls don't care about that as much like I think you pull up in a muscle car. I think chicks will dig that one.

I think that one. That one's so pretty. Chicks dig the long ball, man. That's the long ball. That's the long ball. That's the long ball. Chicks dig the long ball. That is.

That's out of the park. That's like, what is that? You're like, hey, come take a ride. Yeah, pull that photo up again. That silver one. The 1967 silver one that you just had up. Look at this again. Jesus Christ. Look at that. you bet come on you pull that in front of the club yeah jesus christ that's pretty do you know how much the one from the movie sold for at auction let me guess the one from seven hundred

thousand dollars four million one million wow yeah wow what The main one. From John Wick? Or from Elgon in 60 Seconds? Yeah, from that one, yeah. In John Wick. That's what it was. It wasn't the Eleanor one. I'm remembering wrong. They were selling one of the Mustangs in the movie John Wick. He had a 69.

It wasn't an Eleanor, but he had a nice one in the movie. Right. He had a 69 that got stolen. Right. The guy killed his dog and stole the car. And then he got a 70 Chevelle. Chevelle. That's another and stole the car. And then you got a 70 Chevelle. Chevelle. That's another one.

Everybody loves a Chevelle. That's 70 Chevelle, too. Everybody loves a Chevelle. That 70 Chevelle is classic. That's a good one. That's a classic. Oh, Impala. I got to get an Impala, too.

I need an Impala. You know what's even more classic than a 70? Look at that. God damn, man. That's a 69. I think that's a Mach 1. Is that what it is? Yeah.

Look at that. That makes me faint that's fucking pretty i get weak in the legs when i see a car like that i'm like oh my goodness look at that thing that is america it's like two pieces to that thing america it's like the front yeah yeah they do not drive that good they do not because that looks pretty stock they do not handle very well really nope terrible it's another kind of car yeah if you had like a modern honda accord you'll blow that thing off the road like for real you've rid that's goddamn work of art though you pull up in that thing you take the honda code i'll take that look at that look how pretty that is that might be one of the best looking cars of all time no that, that, Eleanor is top three.

Go to that one in the upper right hand corner, young Jamie. Look at that fucking thing. Jesus. 1969 Mach 1. Pow! America! Dude, Hendrix was alive when this car was out. That is a sexy vehicle right there.

Hendrix died in 69, right? You could have been on your way to a goddamn Hendrix concert in that car in out. That is a sexy vehicle right there. Hendrix died in 69, right? You could have been on your way to a goddamn Hendrix concert in that car in 1969. You would be the man. Can you imagine? You pick up your girl. Shit, Hendrix pulled up to the concert in that. People, you know, people were just different then.

Nice. Yeah, Hendrix probably would pull up to the concert in that, right? That'd be a car Hendrix would drive. He'd have his guitar in the passenger seat. Yeah, I found out there was a house that was for sale that Hendrix almost bought. LA? In Topanga Canyon. I was like, he told me he almost bought it.

It's almost Hendrix. Does it count? It's almost, no. Does it count? He just walked through it like, nah, not this one. He was apparently on his way to buying it when he died. What is that? Oh, Stingray, yes, yes.

Ooh, T-top, son. Damn. That's Jimi Hendrix Corvette. Holy shit. See if you find any other pictures of that thing. That's a sexy car. That shit looks like a shark. God.

Jimi Hendrix had a baby blue Corvette. Oh, that's nice. That's just a different one. But yeah, those are crazy looking. Go to that other one that was just on that. What the fuck was that? This is it right here? So there's only a couple pictures of the car from the top.

Two Corvettes. Damn. He had two Corvettes. Are those both his back-to-back? Is that what we're looking at? Two different ones? I think it's the same car. Oh.

Yeah, Jimi Hendrix. Knew how to live. Old school, man. Dinosaur days. Beautiful, beautiful car. Yeah. What do you drive Tony? I have a Cadillac ooh I like it

I like it I got a Cadillac which one you got? I got the STS mine's old now I was actually gonna buy a new car like next couple months

I don't know what I want they have a crazy new sedan coming out which one? some something V some big four door super powered ultra comfortable no I've been waiting for have you seen the El Mirage can you pull up to Cadillac El Mirage El Mirage Which one? Something V. Some big four-door, super-powered, ultra-comfortable.

No, I've been waiting for... Have you seen the El Mirage? Can you pull up the Cadillac El Mirage? El Mirage. E-L-M-I-R-A-G. Ooh. I've been waiting four years for this car. And every time I go to the auto show, they're like, yeah, it's coming next year.

So I wait, wait, wait. That sounds like a superhero in a Robert Rodriguez movie. The El Mirage. Look at this motherfucker. Four years Cadillac I've been waiting for this car. Whoa. Every auto show. Yeah. Next year. That is slick. That's a two door.

Yes. Holy shit. I've been waiting patiently for this car. You know when we were kids we thought about what cars would look like in the future. That's what they would look like in the future. Look at the front end of that thing, like the headlights. Those are crazy. Look at that, man.

That has such a futuristic, like pause there for that picture and make that a little bit bigger. That has such a futuristic shape to it. Look at the leather on the inside. And look at that grill. Look how that grill integrates. This is how girls go with shoes. Like, oh, my God. Do you see how strappy they are? And you say to your girl with like, this is how girls go with shoes. Like, oh my god. Do you see how strappy they are?

And you say to your girl, like, I don't get it. This is it right here. You're not gonna get it. It's so strappy. Four years I've been waiting for this car. Why are you such a Cadillac dude? My father drove a Cadillac. It's a tribute to my dad. I like it. The last car my pops had before he passed away was a burgundy Cadillac. It's a tribute to my dad. I like it. The last car my pops had before he passed away was a

burgundy Cadillac. And I just remember he loved it so much. Growing up in New York, I didn't need a car. So when I moved to LA, I was like, oh shit, I gotta get a car to get around. What am I gonna get? Tribute to dad. Cadillac. I love it. That's a good move. Yeah. They make some

old school cars too that you could actually get fixed up and drive around. Yes. Like some 70s. I'm about to get an oldie and put it in the hands of a caretaker and let them just fix it up. Get you one of them. Definitely gonna do that. Two door Eldorados. Nice. Nice.

What color? What color? I don't know. Maybe like a money green. Ooh. Like the Bishop Don Juan. Didn't he have a money green one? Well, then scratch that. Well, then scratch that. We'll go burgundy.

Because I don't want anybody to mistake me for the Bishop Don Juan. That's right. I don't want no girl running up at my car at In-N-Out Burger like, I got your money, daddy. I like the burgundy. I like burgundy with a little bit of metallic flake to it. Nice. Oh, yeah. That would be nice oh that would be nice yes all fresh chrome riding those things man i mean you gotta respect the fact that it takes a long time to stop those fuckers convertible eldorado the convertible oh look at this we're looking at a 76 convertible Eldorado. Oh, look at this. We're looking at a 76 convertible Eldorado.

Oh, my God. What a shape. Look at that. What a shape. That was back when they didn't know what the fuck aerodynamics was. They're like, what? Oh, that's what we're talking about right there. Look at that thing.

Look at that. What year is that, Jamie? 67? Yeah. God. That's nice. People just drove these enormous boats. Look at the size of the trunk. It's nice. People just drove these enormous boats. Look at the size of the trunk.

It's crazy. That trunk can fit like a smart car in it. Yeah, you could easily sleep in that trunk. No problem. That's nice. They just went through a period of time where they were making these giant boats. Like the suicide door continental you talked about. That's an all-time classic.

Love it, yeah. All-time classic. Gotta love that. Yeah. That's an all-time classic. Love it, yeah. All-time classic. Gotta love that. Yeah. That's another one of the best cars probably ever made. You know what's another best car ever made that I would never want to park anywhere? 1968 Charger. I saw a 1968 Charger all done up.

Dukes of Hazzard? It's similar. Is that year 68 or 69? One of those years. Either one of those years is badass. But those cars, they were just like sharks. Like big, long boats. They weren't like in any way.

Like, look at that. That's not in any way practical in terms of its shape. Like, it's got to be, that wind's got to go into that grill in a weird way and probably slows it down. It's like having a little mini parachute in the front of your hood. Obviously, I don't know shit about aerodynamics. They didn't know about aerodynamics back then. Well, I think they knew a little mini parachute in the front of your hood. Obviously, I don't know shit about aerodynamics. They didn't know about aerodynamics back then. That was a foreign concept. Well, I think they knew a little bit.

Go back to that original picture, man. That original one was beautiful. Look at that thing. That's what I'm talking about. Like, that car just represents a different world. That's a Fast and Furious, right? Yeah, he had one of those, right? Or similar?

Something similar? Similar years? There's something about... In 1970, it got weird because then they put the bumper all around the front, like a big oval. You ever see that? No. On this car? Yeah, pull up 1970 Charger. 1970 got weird.

Like somebody got crafty. Look at the front bumper. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you just do? Hey, hey, come here. That's like, put it, yeah. What did you just do? Hey. Hey. Come here. That's like, put it back. Yeah, what did you do?

Put it back. You had something. Go to the black one. Go to the black one right above it. Where are the headlights? Oh, they roll up. They roll up like a 69 Camaro. You ever see a 69 Camaro?

Yeah, they flip. Yeah, those things flip. That was like the rage back then, man. People loved roll-up headlights. That's a good picture, Jamie, but the other one's better because you can see the black one right next to it. Because you can see the other black...

Yeah, that weren't there. Because you can see the grill. Make that a little bigger. Look how goofy that is. Look how goofy that grill is. The bumper and the grill are like... It's got an up bumper and a down bumper. What are you doing? Why'd you do that? Don't do that

You had it perfect you fuck Some guy was like you know what I mean? Yeah that looks Those people were on coke It was the 70s They were like you know what was better? Fucking double bumper Let's do it

Double bumper Bumper up top Bumper on the bottom It's my thing bro You gonna push that through to the GM? Hey did you bring up my idea about the double bumper? Bumper on top Bumper on the bottom

I'm telling you man It's a fucking move Look at that It still looks badass though The original picture was the one Now go to a 1969 1969 is a sweet spot That's when they nailed it and then they fucked it up

They should have made the 1969 Charger Ooh That was too hazard Look at that one that black black one, up on the upper left-hand corner, right there. Upper left. Yeah, right there. Look at that. Oh my goodness. Nice. What a shape.

Those people just had a different way of looking at automobiles. They weren't confined by all the safety regulations. Have you ever gone to, what's the spot Big Bob's Big Boy in Burbank when they have the cars out at night? I passed by. I never stopped in one of them.

I've been to similar things. I've been to the L.A. Auto Show, too. It's pretty interesting. But I guess those cars and coffees and things, you ever done one of those? No. I heard those are pretty badass. People pull up with weird cars. Jay Leno's always showing up.

At Burbank? Well, they have them all over the place. Oh, no. They have them in fucking Irvine and all over the place. Oh, yeah? I've got to check it out. I do an auto show every year, and I ask about the El Mirage, and they're like, yeah, next year. You are just obsessed with Cadillacs.

Got to get it. That's interesting. Got to get it. So no matter how big you get, Cadillacs? No, I'll have other cars, but it's going to be a Caddy. But that's your main daily driver, probably. That El Mirage, got to get it. I like it, man.

I like it. It's a different kind of luxury car, and they're really doing it right now, too. Yep. You know what else is doing it right? The new Lincoln Navigator. You see that thing? Gigantic. The thing is crazy.

Big, man. That thing is big. It's luxurious. You like it? Yeah, I've ridden them before. Yeah? They're amazing. I've got to test drive.

I haven't driven one, but I've ridden as a passenger in one. I was like, this thing is badass. Yeah. Yeah. I like the new, well, it's foreign, but the new BMW 7. Mm-hmm. Whew. It's like a couch going down the street.

You just- It's some insane amount of money. It's like $160,000. Is it really? It's one version of it. It's the most expensive BMW they've ever made, and it's supposed to be the most technologically advanced. Nice.

And I like the new Porsche, the four-door. Panamera? Man, nice. Nice car. I like it a lot. Yes. I like it a lot. Yeah, that's the difference between living here and living in New York.

Living in New York, so many people don't have cars. You really don't need one. Yeah. If you have a car in New York, it's a luxury. Then you have to find parking, and you go, fuck this car, man. My brother Kenny had a car for like a luxury. Then you start you have to find parking and you go fuck this car man. My brother my brother Kenny had a car for like a summer.

It was like I gotta get up and move it every morning and when I go into the city I gotta find parking he's like fuck this man. Yeah. And when you drive down the street

and you see ones with boots on them people don't they don't realize about the boots. Or you see the tickets just piled up because they'll put a ticket on top of a ticket.

Yep. I don't know in LA sometimes people say hey if you already have a ticket they won't put another one. I don't know. In New York they don't they'll put a ticket on top of a ticket. Yep. I don't know. In LA, sometimes people say, hey, if you already have a ticket, they won't put another one. I don't know. In New York,

they'll put a ticket on top of a ticket. So he was just like a summer. What did he have? He had a... That's a different kind of living. Living with no car, living in the city.

He had a Thunderbird. He had a Ford Thunderbird. It was like a... An older one or a newer one? No, like a 2004. Oh, those were weird. Yeah. He was just like, fuck. Oh, those were weird. Yeah. He was just like, fuck this car, man.

Too many tickets. You know what's weird? That Thunderbird didn't really totally work, but the Challenger worked perfect. Yeah. The new Challenger? Yes. Yeah. People are like, oh, Jesus.

Yeah, you nailed it. You got it right. But the Thunderbird, people are like, what are we doing here? Is this an old car? Is it a new car? We don't know. Who are we? They stopped making that, right?

Yep. They don't make that anymore. Yeah, Chargers was great. I don't think Ford makes anything other than Mustangs and trucks. I think they gave up on every single car they made. They're bringing the Bronco back. I know that. Yeah.

Bringing the Bronco back. But I think that was a move they made. What did you say, Jamie? Did they have it focused or did they stop making it? I think they decided real recently. We're not counting the Ford Focus, man. Does that count? We divide real cars.

I think recently they said they're going to cancel every car except the mustang and they're just going to make trucks really yeah yeah somebody went fucking crazy well i think they'd probably make that for gt2 in limited numbers but yeah i think the saline yeah that's a that's a different company that takes a mustang and then they put an aftermarket kit on it oh yeah yeah that? Yeah. That's Steve Saline's company. They do Corvettes and a bunch of other shit, too. They do a bunch of different. It's like Hennessy.

You ever heard of that Hennessy performance? I've heard of Hennessy performance, but what are we talking about? Or like Shelby. Oh, no, no, no. They take these cars, and they'll do it to an Eldorado. Not an Eldorado. They'll do it to a Eldorado or not an Eldorado. They'll do it to Escalade. They'll do it to Corvettes, Mustangs.

They'll take a regular car and put a thousand horsepower in it. Oh, wow. And sell it. So it's, but it's not, I mean, it's not just a Corvette. It's a Hennessy Corvette now. It's like, you know, like a Saline Mustang is like, it's like a Shelby Mustang. Kind of similar, but Shelby, they sell from the Ford dealerships. Some Ford dealerships sell Salines.

Some of them do. You can buy them. I'll buy a few of them. I thought you meant drunk when I'm drunk in my performance on Hennessy. Oh, Hennessy. My Hennessy performance. Ford to stop making all passenger cars except the Mustang. They're still doing the Explorer and shit like that.

Yeah, so they're just doing trucks. Yeah. And the Bronco, but that's a dope looking... They're going to do one car? That's weird. That so they're just doing trucks. Yeah. And the Bronco. But that's a dope movie. They're going to do one car? That's weird. That's the bullet car. That's the tribute to the Steve McQueen movie. That's what that green car is.

Look at that thing. Damn. That is gorgeous. Great movie, by the way. Yeah, it is a great movie. They nailed it, though. See, Ford nailed it with these Mustangs. They figured out a perfect way to make a shape that makes you think about old cars but looks

like a new car. What do they call it? An ode to the past? Yes, an ode to the past. That's nice. Young Tony Rock. Tony, I've got to wrap this up. We just talked about cars for the last 10 minutes.

I hope we didn't bore the shit out of you people. Sorry, sorry. But people, please, go see Tony Rock. No bullshit. You're one of the funniest guys alive. I'm a big fan. Kansas City Improv this weekend. Is this live, right? So Kansas City Improv. Kansas City Improv this weekend. Is this live, right?

So Kansas City Improv. Kansas City Improv this weekend. Tonyrock.com. Tonyrockcomedy.com. Tony underscore rock on Instagram. Whoever is camping on the Tony Rock name, give it up, bitch. Somebody won't give it up. Is it a real Tony Rock?

Is his name Tony Rock? I doubt it. No. I doubt it. I think there's only one. All right. Anyway, man. Thank you so much, man. Thank you, brother. Ple Tony Rock? I doubt it. No. I doubt it. I think there's only one. All right. Anyway, man. Thank you so much, man.

Thank you, brother. Pleasure, bro. Appreciate it. Thank you. That was great. Thank you.