The Joe Rogan Experience - #1153 - Macaulay Culkin

Episode Date: August 7, 2018

Macaulay Culkin is an actor and musician. He recently started a website called BunnyEars.com - https://bunnyears.com - and also a podcast.

Boom and we're live and we're live! Pull the sucker up there. Yeah a little closer? Yeah right about there. Alright. How are you fellas? What's going on? Fantastic. How are you doing? Very nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. You're remarkably normal. Oh thanks. I know people are always struck at how normal I am. I'm like wow really? I think my reputation. You made it through the maze of being a famous child. Yeah, yeah. That's a very unusual maze. Yeah. My life is unique to me. That's what I like to say.

I'm almost like a peerless person to a certain extent. There's not too many people. I can look left and right. And we have similar experiences. Yeah. Is there anybody that you ever contacted like jody foster or someone who's made it through and seems pretty put together not really like no not really i mean it's kind of a weird cold call you know hey jody foster such a small clan of people like if a comic called me that I knew, you know, they wanted to talk to me, I would talk to them because it's such a small clan of people.

I mean, we do have our weekly therapy sessions. Yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. You say, yeah, me, Elijah Wood, you know, Jodie Foster, you know, yeah. Like we all get together and yeah, we weep. You know, actually we do primal screaming. That's what we do. get together and yeah we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we

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And the same thing with you. You were already famous as you were developing and learning. Yeah. You know, yeah. I don't know exactly how to like kind of even describe it because it's always the way my life has been kind of thing like in the same way that like a lot of kids like you know they go out and they you know catch bugs and play sandlot baseball or whatever like yeah it's just like yeah like that's the way it is like you don't really realize

how unique the whole situation is until you have perspective. Because you have nothing to compare it to, really, other than, I guess, TV shows and movies and things like that. So I knew that my upbringing was unique. You know, I knew it was different. But at the same time, it's kind of just, it's not until you get some perspective, some life experience, until you really realize that, oh, wait, this was particularly weird. realize that, oh wait, this was particularly weird. You know, I think one of the aspects that's particularly weird about it is a lot of kids that grow up famous, they grow up on the set. Yeah. And they grow up constantly around people who treat them very differently than everyone

else. It's not just that you're famous, it's that you're famous and you're also the complete center of attention. Like you're the reason why we're here. We're here to do this television show. We're here to do this movie. We're here to do this thing. You're the reason why we're here. We're here to do this television show. We're here to do this movie. We're here to do this thing. You're the star.

And that, I think, for a kid, that's a very strange place to be. Yeah, and especially, like, I mean, I, like, when I was a kid, like, even before I started working, I always liked being, like, the center of attention kind of thing. Of course. You know, I was just, I was very boisterous, you know. But in general, like, I never really liked being fussed over like i didn't like you know like yeah the hair makeup costume people like poking at you all the time and things like they actually wasn't a huge fan after a while of kind of like being that center of attention you know it it does become a job after a while yeah yeah like early on you kind of just do what

you do like that's like i was good at it and boom like in the same way like they do like anything that you're like you like it's where the child labor laws don't apply to acting yeah they do do that yeah I'm pretty well versed in child labor laws well how's that work then it goes from state to state they can work you like let's say like in New York they can work you ten hours yeah but stop right there they can work you, you can't get a job if you're eight. That's what you're kind of like, that's what their limit is. At the same time,

you have to get three hours of schooling in plus an hour of lunch. So really, your available window is only six hours or something like that a day. And that also, in that six hours, they're always setting up the lights for the next shot and the hurry up and wait kind of part of things. That's why the second Home Alone, it took, like, nearly five months to film.

Because they can only, I mean, virtually every scene. And they can only use me X amount of hours per day kind of thing. But isn't that the only job that you can work when you're eight years old? I don't know. I mean, you can't be a carpenter. I mean, I guess you can do modeling, you know what I mean? But like some kind of performing arts kind of thing. Like there are dancers and so forth.

Because I was a ballet dancer before I was an actor. Really? Yeah, I did ballet for a number of years. I'm a classically trained ballerina right here. Is it a ballerina if you're a man? I say I'm a ballet dancer. but there is a weird ballerino that some of them use. And I'm like, I'm not, I don't think I can call myself a ballerino.

Like, I just like can't. It's too bro-y. Sounds like it's from Welcome Back, Cotter. Yeah, exactly. Ballerino. I'm Billy Ballerino. So I did that for a number of years and there's a bunch of kids that do that and you get I'm Billy Ballerino. I'm Billy Ballerino. So I did that for a number of years, and there's a bunch of kids that do that, and you get paid, and you do the work.

Wow. So there are other, I guess, trades. Yeah, it seems like it's only show business, though, right? Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. I think it's more in the performing arts kind of thing. You don't see a lot of kids work in the coal mines anymore, that kind of thing. Yeah, for good reason, right? But some people think that that— It's work in the coal mines anymore. Like that kind of thing. Yeah. For good reason. Right.

But some people think that my six year old dying a black lung, you know, there's some horrible pictures from like the early 1900s of people actually working in the coal mines when they're little tiny kids. Yep. Yep. Yeah. I mean, there are no newsies anymore. You know, like, yeah.

Did you have any say in whether or not you worked when you were young? Not really, no. No. Like, it was, after a while, it became, like I said, a job, and it was, I, like, I never chose the projects. They were, like, my parents, like, you know, essentially, like, chose them for me. So, there was, like, good news, Macaulay. Yeah, exactly.

You know, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they called me Macaulay. You're gonna buy us a new house. Yeah, yeah, there you go, you know. And, like, I never read any of the scripts. Like, I would just read, like, the lines for, like, the next day or whatever. Like, I would, like, get the gist of what the movie was about. But then I just kind of show up and hit my marks, find my light, you know, and recite my lines.

That must have been so surreal. It's kind of just, like, again, like, it's what you do. Right. Like, it's, like, in again like it's what you do right like it's like in the same way that like yeah like kids go to like school or something like that like you know you you fall into a routine to a certain extent yeah well that's the thing about the human mind right so flexible you could adopt any sort of weird scenario and especially when you're a kid i mean like you can just bounce like all the all the time. Yeah, kids adapt so easy. Exactly.

Exactly. And I always had, like, a good memory and things like that. Like, you know, I liked, you know, I was big and charismatic and I, like, had a good memory. Like, so I could remember my lines. Like, that's pretty much what, like, if you, you know, like, not going to give any advice to any people about, like, yeah, you should put your kid into this line of work. But at the same time, like, what producers really care about is whether or not you remember your lines like they like people you know never work with uh uh kids or animals kind of thing and like yeah it's like yeah and they want they really all they really care about is you remember

your lines really like because i apparently that's a problem like for me it never was like if i ever lost my place i would just see the script in my head and just read it. Like I, like I kind of had a photographic memory back then. Oh, it's faded now. Now it's gone. I'm 37.

I'm about to be 38 in like two weeks. Feels weird. Doesn't it? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like my, my,

my, my bowels are different. What's different about your bowels? Oh yeah. No, just like a, Oh, I actually, I just got a, uh, uh, doing some like random checkup kind of thing and they're like oh we should scope you you know so they also you know they i did the the scoping like you know in my stomach kind of thing but they also

uh you know i got a colonoscopy so i was actually hoping like because they were put me under so i was like it didn't really matter to me but i Did they put you under for a colonoscopy? Yeah, yeah. You know, at least I had that and a scoping. So I think, I don't know. Oh, I think it's down the throat. I was hoping, I was actually hoping they were going to use the butt one first and then put it in my mouth. Why?

You know, just ass to mouth, boom. But no, no, apparently they use different cameras. Like, all right. Yeah, they're probably designed different. They don't go as deep, right? But because they were like all worried I might have an ulcer. Oh. And so the good news.

Stomach pains or something? Yeah, yeah. Kind of. It's been a little iffy. And so the good news is I don't have an ulcer. Bad news is I have two ulcers. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. So I'm dealing with that. I've had to like curtail my lifestyle in general.

Like I'm eating less red meat, you know, less carbonated beverages, like ibuprofen, no more ibuprofen, like that kind of stuff. Ibuprofen is terrible for your gut. Yeah, exactly. So like I've had to like,

you know, I used to like eat like burgers every single day. And now it's like, I can have two servings of red meat a week kind of thing. And it wasn't too hard for me to curtail my lifestyle, like smoking less, trying to drink less, like things like that.

What's the logic behind red meat less? I think I'm not the doctor. Does the doctor have a method to his madness? Yeah, it's like if you read the list of like, yeah, things that are good or bad for your ulcer. So things that aggravate it. Yeah, exactly. So red meat like falls into that category. It's weird that it's aggravated, but chicken doesn't? Fish doesn't?

Apparently not, or at least, you know, less so. How weird. And, yeah, because my special lady friend, she was, like, you know, worried about me and stuff. So she was reading up on, like, you know, ulcers and things like that. And it was, like, the first, like, it was, like, seven things that, like, that flare it up. And all of them were, like, check marks for, for like exactly what I was doing in my life kind of thing Like you know I like I said red meats smoking drinking like I had just had like a neck issue So I was taking a lot of ibuprofen like it and it was just like every single check mark, you know

So yeah, I've read something about ibuprofen doing it because ibuprofen disrupts gut bacteria and they believe that gut bacteria What was there was something really recent about that a real recent study that they think that they found a new cause for ulcers like they've changed what they think they used to think it was caused by stress which you can do it like also because i just started again i have also like i've just started a new company and things like that so like i have that kind of stress like kind of thing like you know like like i said i i hit a lot of the check marks like when you say can do it i think what they were saying was they used to think it can do it but now they think it's all a matter of uh bacteria in your stomach yeah i mean

i think that's a big part of it and also if you like uh because i did a movie in thailand uh like last year and uh came back you know came back with a worm so know, one of those like single cell kind of like, you know, when I was getting the medication for it, I was like, so what do I, what should I expect from this? And he's like, what do you expect you to get better? I go, yeah, but like, you know, what's like, am I going to shit a worm? Am I going to shit out a worm? They're like, no, no, no.

This is one of those single cell ones. But it made me more susceptible to getting ulcers. Is this because of the antibiotics that you had to take for the worm or anti-worming stuff? I think it just messes with your stomach chemistry kind of thing. And so after that is when you got the ulcer. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So dealing with it, it's actually not so bad. So what does it do to you?

What does an ulcer do? Sometimes you kind of get a little pain, things like that. At one point I was shitting like 10 times a day kind of thing. You know what I mean? It kind of loosens your stool a little bit. Oh, weird. Yeah, it kind of gets mucusy. I mean, I can go into it.

That's what I mean. You're asking me. I don't mind. Yeah, all right, cool. It's okay. I find this stuff fascinating. It is fascinating. I'm what I mean. You're asking me. I don't mind. Yeah, yeah. All right, cool. It's okay. Yeah, I find this stuff fascinating. It is fascinating. I'm like, what just came out of me?

Ooh. Also fascinating, right, when you can't see what's going on. It's like behind a door. Yeah. Like, what's happening in there? Yeah, exactly. You can't even listen to it. Yeah.

And I was like, what was that? Was that chicken? I don't know. Like, which meal was that one? Like, you know, I'm experimenting with my stomach, seeing what comes out the other end kind of thing. Did you experiment at all with probiotics? No, not yet.

This is a fairly recent thing. This has only been in the last not even two months. In the last eight weeks or so. I am just easing into this thing. I have a list. I made a little list of things that are good for me to eat. Things like that. Make sure I get some yogurt.

Lots of leafy greens. you know, things like that. What is that ribbon on your jacket that you have pinned to the safety pin? It's a participation badge. Because I participate in life. Look at me. Is that what it's for? Yeah, I mean, I went to a, it was a camp, like a summer camp themed wedding back in like almost a year ago. Something like that.

And so, like, they were giving out participation badges, like kind of thing. Cause if you participated in things, but yeah, no, everyone always asks me about the ribbon. Like I kind of just like safety pin. Yeah. Kind of just, you know, like, I mean, I wear like all kinds of things, but for some reason,

everyone's like, what is that? What's that? You know, like, yeah, no, I'm participating in life. Here I am. Aren't I like here I'm on your podcast. You are participating in life. I am participating.'t I? I'm on your podcast. You are participating in life. I am participating. You seem really healthy.

You seem like a together person. Oh yeah. That's a shocker for people. I guess so. Usually, for the most part, I'm pretty put together. I got a good life now. I got a special lady friend. We have a dog and a cat.

For a family. Yeah, yeah. For a family. Yeah, exactly. Like, there's one thing to, like, exchange keys. It's in order to get a cat. You know, so we- A cat is you can get a cat together

because a cat can kind of go anywhere. Yeah. We get a dog together. That's a big one. It's a certain, yeah. She already had the dog, but it's like,

it's a girl. She's a, what is it, Shiba Inu. Oh, yeah. Adorable. Looks like a stuffed animal kind of thing. And then we have a,

and she's black And Then we got a big fluffy white cat And it's like Boy, girl, dog, cat Like you know Yeah like you know Yeah like it's They're really really

And they're adorable Like I've seen dogs and cats Play with each other before And it's kind of cute And these guys play All the time It's actually like It's a very special

Little relationship That they have That's cute Oh yeah no We never turn on the television, like in our house. Just watch the cats. We just watch like the dog and the cat and stuff, you know? Yeah. Do you, do you plan on making people?

Oh yeah. Yeah. No, I want, I want, I'm going to make some babies, you know, all that kind of stuff. So again, this one, so this one's a good one. So, you know, like I'm probably going to put some babies in her, like in a little bit, you know, I mean, we're, we've definitely been practicing, uh yeah yeah that's important yeah but uh but yeah no yeah no this one like yeah i'm gonna have a gonna have some pretty babies she's uh um she's asian so i'm gonna have like yeah i'm gonna have little tiny little asian babies yeah it's nice yeah it's gonna be adorable look at adorable a bunch a bunch of uh sean lennon's running around the. That's what I'm looking for.

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, yeah. No, because it's funny. It's almost like I feel entitled to make Asian jokes because I have an Asian girlfriend kind of thing. I don't think you're allowed. I don't think I'm allowed. Well, I do it with her all the time, but I don't do it in public. Don't let anybody know. Yeah, no, no.

It's like, oh, baby, you're my Yoko. Just like, yeah. She's like, you're going to be my downfall. You're the most hated person in all of music. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You used to be able to if you were married to an Asian woman 10, 15 years ago. It would be no problem.

I think if I have Asian babies, I'd be allowed to. I don't even think so, man. I don't even think so. Well, because I'd have to deal with it every kind of like day kind of thing. It's like, oh, well, like I can, you know, I understand the struggle kind of thing. Like, you know, I'm trying to shield my kids. Not good enough. Yeah, you don't think so?

They'll come after you. You don't think so? Yeah, privileged white male, wealthy white male who's famous. You don't have a chance. I guess I know, right? Check all those boxes too, buddy. Yeah, it's true. It's true.

Privileged blonde ha, Aryan male. Who grew up famous. Yeah, exactly. They're just warming their fingers up right now to write blogs. They'll probably write a blog about you thinking that you can make Asian jokes. I know. I know. I know.

Well, that was one of the things that like, you know, one of the things I really loved about her like was I remember when I made my first like Asian crack like and just wanted this and she kind of like stopped And then she was like laughs. She was like I can't believe you said that What was it? Did you say I said I said you know how I know you're Asian she goes why I said this is shape of your eyes, it's dead giveaway And she couldn't stop she wasn't that's that's funny. You're allowed to say that. Yeah. You can't say it because the way you drive, bitch. Yeah, no, exactly.

That would be a real problem. Yeah, yeah. You have to have a really good sense of humor to accept that. Yeah, exactly. And you have a special relationship where you guys talk to each other like that. And it's like, baby, you are such a good driver. She's like, shut up. Would you stop with the Asian stuff like yeah cuz yeah she she is an excellent driver so well you

could tell her you're a really good driver for you know yeah yeah no why that's weird forget I even brought it I'm so racist, I don't even understand why that's weird. Exactly. Believe me, I'm pretty relentless. But her family, like, they also, like, they're down with, like, you know, yeah, it's, I wouldn't even call it a teasing. It's just like you're just telling jokes kind of thing. What are you doing? Because I'm the only white boy, like, you know, whenever we visit the family.

Yeah, it's like. What brand of Asian? It's Thai Leotion. oh wow yeah exotic yeah I know I know leo shin yeah yeah I just got back from Thailand I was there yeah first time ever that's where I caught my worm yeah yeah so what is this worm like did you fight was it under your skin was it in no I mean like I said it's a single-celled kind of one it's in your skin? Was it in? No, I mean, like I said, it's like a single celled kind of one. It's in your stomach. Oh, it was in your stomach. Yeah.

Yeah. How'd you know you had it? Uh, I had a lot of fatigue and again, like just like my movements weren't all that great, like things like that. And I remember waking up after about like a good like week or so of it. We had just wrapped up. Like we were like there for like five, six weeks or something. Uh, so I was back in the states and it was just i was

sleeping like 20 hours a day and like only like waking up to like yeah like you know just like to shit pretty much and then um and then uh yeah no i actually i remember waking up one of those days and i said i'm pretty sure i have a worm like it actually just popped in my head i go like this is probably what a worm feels like it was almost kind of a mono-esque kind of like you know fatigue like that kind of thing so yeah no went there and some like heavy duty antibiotics for like 10 days how do they think you caught it um i'm not sure oh you were on heavy duty antibiotics for 10 days that's probably what caused your ulcer like yeah exactly you know what i mean like the worm doesn't help and then

the heavy duty antibiotics and like all that stuff like it's just kind of like yeah like you know and also again like lifestyle like kind of things you know like yeah just like yeah like you know like i can't pound bourbon like i used to kind of thing like you know like that's kind of the idea right um so um but yeah yeah no it was so i i think i caught it from a cat because there was actually like a we were in a uh it was kopi p that that island. And I think that's like Cat Island and stuff. And we had these little bungalows. And I remember I was like, we were just kind of checking in. And I pulled my bag up.

And there's like this little like kind of kitten just like walked up. And was just like, hey, can I come in? And we're like, yeah, sure, come on in. Like I've had a lot of cats in my life and stuff. So, yeah, that little sucker like spent a lot of time and things like that. Oh, that's probably exactly what it was. Yeah, like we'd sleep in the bed together and stuff like that. I'd like Zerbert.

You should get yourself tested for toxoplasma. Toxoplasmosis. I've actually had that before. Well, you have it then. You have it for life. Yeah, exactly. No, I went through the symptoms. I caught it from an undercooked piece of lamb, actually.

Yeah, yeah. It's one of the four ways you can get it kind of thing. No kidding. Yeah, you can get it from cats ways you can get it kind of thing. No kidding. Yeah. You can get it from, yeah, from cats. You can get it from undercooked lamb.

You can get it through a blood transfusion. And I think the other one is a mother can transfer it to its, to the, to their baby. Wow. Believe me, I went to the whole CDC website and everything. Like,

and that was like mono kind of thing. Like a lot of people catch it, but they like, they just have the antibodies for it. And I was like mono kind of thing. A lot of people catch it, but they just have the antibodies for it. And I was a little run down. I was doing a play in London for like 10 months and also like kind of going out at night and things like that. So I think my body was kind of just like not at its strongest and boom, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like it was, that was like mono kind of thing.

And I was totally run down. I got better after about like three months or so, but I didn't get a hundred percent better for about a year. There was a crazy article just written about toxo that it had some sort of impact on people who are, who start up businesses, that they're more entrepreneurs have toxoplasmos. It's a, it radically affects behavior apparently. Oh yeah. I mean, I don't know. I got radically affects behavior, apparently. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know.

I got it when I was like 20. Yeah. Makes you more risk-taking. Makes you more... Yeah, parasite-founded cat poop has been linked to higher likelihood of entrepreneurial behavior in people who get infected. Yeah. Well, there you go. Because it makes you more...

I just launched my own website recently. There you go. All that kind of stuff. Yeah, so there you go. I just launched my own website recently and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, so there you go. I blame the toxoplasmosis. Have you read up on it a lot? I mean – Have you read any of Robert Sapolsky's stuff? No, no, no. Not in a while.

Like I said, I caught this in like 2000, 2001 or something. Robert Sapolsky, he's a professor at Stanford, and he's a biologist, and he specializes in toxoplasmosis and primate behavior and a lot of other different things. He is a biologist, right? Is that his discipline? Yeah. But anyway, he he's got some amazing talks on it.

You really should listen to it since you have it. Yeah, yeah. It's fascinating stuff. They found a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims, people with motorcycle crashes. Oh, like so risk-taking, like that's what you have it. Yeah, yeah. It's fascinating stuff. They found a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims, people with motorcycle crashes. Oh, like some risk-taking. Yes. Like that's what you were saying. Yeah.

That's actually, yeah, that's fascinating. Yeah. You know how it works? It can only reproduce inside the cat's gut, and it rewires the sexual reward system of a rat. So it makes a rat horny when it smells cat piss. So it completely changes the cat's sexual reward system. Yeah, yeah.

No, that makes sense. Or the, excuse me, the rats. The evolutionary advantage, you know, of having for a cat to have it. Well, far more than evolutionary advantage. It actually tricks the cat into killing the rat and tricks the rat into being horny No exactly to come around exactly. That's what I mean

There's an evolutionary advantage to that because like yeah, like if you if you're a cat you have toxoplasmosis Like it's going to you know, it's going to attract your prey to you. Well, it actually doesn't know it doesn't work that way The rat has to be infected when the rats infected then it smells cat urine and it gets horny. When the cat's infected, it doesn't do anything to the cat. Yeah. It seems to have no change in the behavior of the cat, but then it gets to people. Yeah. So it only affects, really, the behavior of people and rats.

Yeah. It's weird. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I caught it. I got the antibodies for it or whatever. It's one of those forever kind of things, but it doesn't affect me at all. You know what I mean? There's no health issue.

Oh, health issue. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, yeah, it was one of those things where, yeah, I got sick for a couple of months, and then boom. Like I said, it was like mono. I think you said there's a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from countries that are of high rates of toxoplasma infection i should get into soccer well it's just one of those things it's just it changes the way people behave oh make some make us a little wilder so uh you're saying you're you're interested in some toxoplasmosis and i might already have it yeah toxo you checked

toxo gandhi or whatever it is looking. What was this movie in Thailand? It was my buddy Seth Green. He wrote and directed a movie. And so he asked me to do something in it. And, you know, because I don't really pursue acting at all kind of thing. And I'm not saying it was a favor or anything like that. But at the same time, it was like, yeah, it sounds like fun. So it's a cool cast.

It's like him. He's in it. Breckin Myers in it Brenda Song me so do you just like do whatever you want these days

and just occasionally act when it comes up yeah if it comes up like you know if it's a cool like neat little gig or something like that like yeah sure

but like I said I don't pursue it in any kind of like any way like I don't have agents anymore and things like that is that because you're just not interested or

yeah kind of not interested I don't really agents anymore and things like that. Is that because you're just not interested? Yeah, kind of not interested. I don't really like the pursuit of it. You know, like, yeah, like what it takes to- The whole process, auditions, meetings. Exactly. I don't like being on the circuit kind of thing.

But yeah, no, I write a lot. I paint a lot. Like I just kind of always have like some kind of projects. And then also, like I said, we've got the website, bunnyears.com kind of thing. And what is, like I said, we've got the website bunny ears dot com kind of thing. And what is that?

That is it's a comedy website. It's pretty much like like, you know, how all these celebrities, especially like ladies, they have those lifestyle websites. All of them. Well, a lot of them do, you know, like, yeah, like goop. You know, it's one of them that I know of. Is there other ones? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

No, it's like, yeah, it's the goop ones. The most egregious, though. Yeah, that's the well, that I know of. Is there other ones? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it's like, yeah. The Goop one's the most egregious, though. Yeah, that's the thing. So this is like Goop meets The Onion. Goop is like Goop meets The Onion. Yeah, I know. Well, yeah, but accidentally. They're telling you to put jade balls up your vagina. I know.

Believe me, we had a... Five years. Yeah, we have an article... How to have sex on a beach in a hot... Wait, hold on. What is that? Does it just do that thing? Oh, annoying. Yeah, we have an article. How to have sex on a beach in a hot... Wait, hold on. What is that? Does it just do that thing? Oh, annoying. Yeah, yeah.

How to have sex on a beach in a hot tub and other things that seemed fun as a virgin. It's Hannah Michaels. She's a... Or Hannah. She's a fantastic writer. And we have a little scroll and things like that. So you have a podcast as well? Yeah, we do a podcast also.

And we're revving up some more video content and things. So this is just a fun project for you. Yeah, it's got a lot of really great writers, comedy writers and stuff. It's kind of just like, oh, there's an article about a jade egg. Oh, I put a jade egg up

my vagina and I hatch a jade bird. That kind of thing. What to do about your bird living in your vagina know, like that kind of thing. Like, you know, and then like, you know, what to do about your bird living in your vagina now. Like, you know, it's like, you know what I mean? We're kind of like

taking the piss out of like, you know, some of these kind of like lifestyle-y websites. Right. You know, it's like, it's like,

you know, they'll have articles like on Goop about like, oh, the best Cabernet is like for like $200 or something like that. And it's like,

ours is like, the best bourbon's under, you know, $20, but then like it turns, like the spelling gets worse and worse, and then it turns into a rant about your ex-girlfriend. So things like that.

It's some really good stuff. Like I said, we have a really, really great team of people. And yeah, it's kind of like I said, taking the piss out of things. Right. So you just decided to do this just for fun? Yeah, I kind of had this idea. It was kind of like kicking it around and so forth. And then I felt like I kind of accumulated enough ideas.

And then, yeah, then I started kind of Voltroning it, like just grabbing and assembling, you know, like this project, this giant robot, you know, yeah. So there you go. It's a lot of fun. And it is funny. Like I said, there's actually, look, those articles are really well written.

Like we have one about, do you see Infinity War? Avengers? Yeah, the Avengers one. No, I didn't see that. Oh, okay. Good? Oh, it's fantastic. It's fantastic.

But we made our own Infinity Gauntlet. And what happens, spoiler alert, is a lot of the people kind of just vanish. Like they kind of just die. Like they turn into dust. In the movie? In the movie at the end. So like when you start reading the article, all of a sudden, just all the words just start vanishing.

And then you have to go back and like, yeah. It's like, yeah, even like the letters. We actually had a, we did one where it was a ransom letter. One of our writers, she um her father is actually the therapist for goop like the actual like psychiatrist the official one so we do has their own therapist yeah you know yes but is it like a weekly advice therapist or is it just like therapy just for being on goop like i know you're here because you're a mess so here just read this read this it's okay so we're here for you hugs so we got

pictures of him bound and gagged and it's like dear goop like we we kidnapped your therapist uh you can only get him back if you give us your seven hot tips for you know yeah like uh uh for facial washes for this summer like and you know what they actually good on them they responded and they actually like sent us over like a list of like, here are the hot, like kind of like, I was like, you know, good for them. Like they had a sense of humor about the whole thing. I think they have to. They're called goop.

I know. Yeah. We almost, we thought about naming ours Poog. They'd probably sue. Yeah, I know. I was like, yeah, like, no, no, no. So. So you're basically financially set from all those movies.

So. I do okay for myself. But do you just put that money away and just live off the interest? Pretty much. Pretty much. You know, yeah. And yeah, I'm able to kind of live the life that, you know, like that, that my circumstances afforded me.

I'm, like I said, I'm very, very, very lucky. You know, lots of weird things happen to kids all the time All around the world, every day I have something to show for it So it's nice I can live What is it? My buddy Jackie goes

That's a weird way to describe a movie career Yeah, pretty much Lots of weird things happen to kids Yeah, man But I got some money out of it Look, I'm not working like the diamond mines I'm not a child soldier You know what I mean? Yeah, I

Came out the other end And I have something to show for it and I'm very like I I do feel blessed every morning kind of thing Okay, you're happy that it all worked out that way. Yeah. Yeah, you could go back and do it again Would you do the same way? Knowing what I know now, I mean probably you know, I probably yeah, I probably be even more charming. I Do it just better Of course you would right Go back and do it now

Can you imagine if you just have your brain in a little kid's body Yeah I know I would kill it I would so kill it like in school Psychological warfare they wouldn't know what's coming Those little fucks Twist their little brains up in knots Oh exactly that would be great.

I'm pretty sure that's what 30 going on 13 was, right? What's that? Isn't that a Jennifer Gardner movie? I have no idea what any Jennifer Gardner movies are. Well, you know, now you do. Yeah. 30 going on 13. Yeah, yeah.

Is that like a brain swap one? Kind of, yes. But she, like, yeah. Her adult brain goes into her when she's 13. Looking at her. Freaky Friday. So it's kind of a freaky Friday with some time travel, I guess. Uh-huh.

So yeah. So you're going to Netflix it tonight, aren't you? Nope. I can tell. I can see it. You've been thoroughly charmed by Jennifer Gardner. That's an interesting life you have then. So you just kind of do whatever you want.

Yeah, my friend Jack says I'm a man of leisure. That's the way he describes my life and lifestyle. That's a good way to describe it. Yeah, it's true. I kind of spend some time just jumping around Europe or something like that. Yeah, but you lived in Paris, you were saying? Yeah, I lived there for a number of years. I mean, I still have my place there.

But since like 2013, something like that. It's only in the last year I've been kind of spending more time in the States. What was it that brought you to Paris? Well, the food sucks, the wine's terrible, and the women are ugly. But otherwise, it's fantastic. No, it was an agreeable lifestyle. I had a bunch of friends out there. They were always asking me,

when are you going to move to Paris and when are you going to learn French? Your friends in Paris were asking you that? Yeah, and I was there just kind of like, I was just kind of jumping around a little bit, and so I thought about it for a second, and I went, you know what? How's next week?

So I said, I'm going to leave my bags here. I'm going to fly back to New York. I'm going to go and, you know, I'll put my affairs in order. And I said, I'll be back next week. I said, I'm ready to live here. I mean, I realized that if I could pick up and just move to France on a whim and it wouldn't affect anyone's life or it wouldn't hurt anybody. I'd be remiss

if I didn't. How many times am I like I couldn't do that now but I could do it back then kind of thing. So I was like yeah, just fuck it. I'm going to live in Paris now. And it was great. A lot of people have done that. Johnny Depp lived

there for a little while. I know Richard Bowser lived there for a while. was great it was a lot of people have done that Johnny Depp lived there for a little while I know we still live there for a while mm-hmm no it's it's a special place I mean what's special about it I mean again food and wine is fantastic like the girls are pretty like it's the leisurely kind of like lifestyle a little bit like I like I like their eating habits you know like it's like a light breakfast and kind of gets heavier as you kind of go along in the day uh you kind of eat later which is kind of like you know like like oh you're american you must want to eat dinner at like eight what time do they eat like 10 you know

like 10 p.m yeah about 10 p.m is like you know kind of a you know an ideal like dinner kind of time um they don't like to work hard either right? I mean no I mean they work I mean I think you know. But they like to take their time and yeah everything is like yeah it's like you know I'll set up a card game for like 3.30 like and 3.30 means like 5 you know again that's just the way like everyone's kind of always late but it's no big deal that's the thing is I remember one time kind of like oh gosh like you know just like where are they kind of and then I realize I'm like wait what is the hurry look for real like what is the hurry like it's like i have other

plans my plan is to hang out like you know with you guys and so and all of a sudden like stress would just kind of just melt away i'm like yeah like look you can just be more leisurely and stuff uh about things out there and everyone's like yeah like i say it's it's really cool they like americans out there that's a misconception that they don like I said, it's really cool. They like Americans out there. That's a misconception that they don't like. They don't like the loud, obnoxious Americans

with the, you know, Mickey Mouse t-shirt and the fanny packs and stuff. Well, we don't either. Yeah, no, you do. Did you say fanny packs? How dare you? I did.

I have one. It's right here. They're wonderful. It's a great way to keep your stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a nice, like, leather one. I use inside pockets.

I got inside pockets. I got inside pockets. That's my purse. Well, that works too. I also have a satchel that I travel around with also. Oh, a man purse. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Satchel. Yeah, you know what?

I do call it my purse in day-to-day kind of thing because someone's like, oh, it's a satchel or it's a murse. I'm like, no, no, no. It's a purse. No illusions here, guys. Isn't it funny that you would be insulted or more positive about it if it had a different sound

coming out of your mouth? Yeah, right? It's like, no, no, no. It's a purse. It's a purse. What happened there? Why did men... How come we can't have purses? Right? No one's gonna do that. There's a few bold souls that will put on a fanny

pack and walk out into public yeah but there's not a lot of people that will just actually just called yourself bold it's a joke but there's not a lot of people that would wear uh an actual purse like a louis vuitton purse yeah yeah i mean i'm secure enough in myself and like everything like like yeah i i can pull off the purse look. I mean, I wear fingernail polish and I have a participation badge. You have fingernail stripes. Not all polished, but a little bit. Yeah, I actually do do it on purpose.

They do make my fingers a little too feminine if it's done perfectly. But I'm actually really good. When I did that movie Party Monster, I learned a lot of just fun makeup-y kind of things. And ways to make your fingers look like they're two weeks old. I could have painted these yesterday and they would look like this kind of thing. I always just liked nail polish. What can I say? But I'm secure enough to wear a purse or something like that.

I have no issue with that. You're allowed to wear a backpack, though. That's where it's weird. What's this, Mickey Rourke? I believe it's on purpose. Yeah, he's got, what are those called? A clutch? Yeah, that looks more like a clutch.

Yeah, but he's so eccentric. I met him this past weekend. He had a crazy cowboy. We're looking at a picture of Mickey Rourke. He had a crazy cowboy hat on, and he's just... Yeah, he seems like a kook. I mean, you can see that picture, that belt buckle. That's something.

Good on him. Yeah, and he's just an odd duck all around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For some reason, it reminds me, it was an old Onion article, and it was one of my favorite headlines, and it was, Johnny Depp found to be 90% scarfs. Yeah, he got, like, way scarf-y after the whole pirate movie thing. Yeah, yeah, he went straight scarf for the rest of his life kind of thing.

He really committed to that scarf thing. When you're a beautiful man like that, it's an odd transition to being like a 55-year-old. What's up with Johnny Depp lately? Not good things. I know. It's really strange. Actually, just this morning they delayed or actually

canceled. He has a notorious B.I.G. movie coming out that he's in with forest whitaker And it was supposed to come out next month and they just pulled it from the schedule and they haven't like even said that it's ever Gonna come out or something and it's like and even just like looking at pictures of him like it kind of just like there's something off About him like hanging out with Stanhope. He's to be really great. He's no put you do to him you fuck Doug Stanhope He used to be really great. Stan Hope, what'd you do to him, you fuck? I don't even know who that is. Doug Stan Hope? One of the best stand-up comedians ever.

Ah, there you go. I'm more of a Stephen Wright fan myself. Me too. Yeah, I love Stephen Wright. But I think Johnny's just, he hit that weird spot where you're just too fucking famous. You can't go anywhere. Where you were when you were little, I'm sure. Yeah. But you can coast now, right?

You can go places. Yeah, like how rich is rich enough? Like, dude, like, yeah, that's what I mean. It's not just that, but he spends. He owns 14 houses. He owns an island. Millions and millions of dollars worth of art. Didn't he spend like $5 million shooting Hunter S. Thompson's ashes out of a cannon?

Yeah, but that's his friend. They asked him, didn't you spend a million dollars? He goes, no, of course not. I spent $3 million. That's what they asked him about his wine habit. They said, your attorney said that your wine habit is $30,000 a month. And he goes, that's an insult. It's far more than that.

Far, far more than that. That's what I mean. Like, all right, cool. I guess he has to maintain a you know that lifestyle well that's what he wants for himself that's what he's doing that's his life his life is spending all that money yeah like his whole life is doing movie that that sometimes happens to people though also when they're they're involved in laborious projects that they're not really interested in you know when you're when you're doing something all day, and I say this as a guy who hosted Fear Factor, when you're doing something all day that you don't really enjoy doing while you're doing it, you're like, okay, time to go to work. I mean, I was very thankful to have the job, don't get me wrong, but the reality is it was not enjoyed.

It wasn't a fruitful endeavor. It wasn't like working for the UFC or doing stand-up comedy or even doing a podcast. Yeah enjoyed it wasn't a fruitful endeavor it wasn't like uh working for the ufc or doing stand-up comedy or even doing a podcast yeah it wasn't a passion project exactly so when you do something like that like people on bad sitcoms in particular yeah they spend all their fucking money they go crazy yeah because the only thing that they look forward to is what am i going to do with this money what's the reward i'm gonna buy a ferrari i'm gonna buy a mansion i I'm going to buy an island. And that's, I think that's what Johnny got into.

Yeah. I couldn't see myself like doing like a sitcom or a television show kind of thing. What about a good sitcom? A good one, I'd do. Like News Radio is a fantastic show. Thank you. That must have been like a fruitful endeavor. It's the reason why I never did another one.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. You don't want to ruin that experience. Every other one that came along was like, this is shit. Well, they pursued me for Big Bang Theory. Oh, Christ. You got lucky. And I said like, no.

Because it was kind of like the way the pitch was was kind of just like, all right, these two astrophysicist nerds and then a pretty girl lives with them. Yoinks! And that was the pitch. It was just like, yeah. And they're like, oh, we're going to get some real like physicists to like, you know, do the math.

And I said like, yeah, no, I said, I'm cool. Like, thanks. And then they came back at me again. And I said, no, no, no. Like, I'm like, again, flattered, but like, no. And then like, then they came back at me again. And like, even my manager was like twisting my arm. Come on.

I want a piece of this Macaulay. Listen I'd have hundreds of millions of dollars right now if I did that gig. At the same time I'd be bashing my head against the wall. That's the thing. I think that's what Johnny Depp is doing. He can't really be into those pirate movies. Yeah no he's just interested and that's the thing is that he wasn't always like that.

But right now it's all about the money. This is the thing. I read an article an interview with him. It was about two decades ago. And he was talking about, you know, he was in his 30s. And he was doing a lot of weird, obscure movies. Like, what was that movie? Dead Man?

That black and white? Yeah, yeah. The Jermush. Yeah, yeah. He did a lot of weird shit. And he said, this is kind of what I really like. And I'm not Blockbuster Boy, which is what he said. Which is so ironic.

Which is so ironic. They didn't know the which is so ironic now he's fucking blockbuster boy yeah no he goes yeah if I ever like if you're if I'm ever a part of a franchise like just shoot me or something like that just like yeah they're pulling up these weird like old quotes it was a it's like the George Lucas like when he he testified before Congress about the colorization

of movies and talking about how movies are part of our heritage. And, you know, they shouldn't be tampered with. And then he goes back, like, 25 years later, he's going back and redoing his movies. It's like, yeah, no, like, once you put art out there. Leave it alone. Leave it alone. It's not yours anymore.

Yeah. Like, that's the thing. Like, once you show, like, your paintings, like, that's not yours anymore. That's the world's. That's an interesting way of looking at it. You don't think it's theirs anymore. That's the thing. Once you show your paintings, that's not yours anymore. That's the world's. That's an interesting way of looking at it. You don't think it's theirs anymore.

Imagine if Leonardo da Vinci just all of a sudden came back into existence right now and he wants to change the Mona Lisa. Oh, she's fat. Yeah, he's like, I kind of didn't get the...

Oh, look at her face. I didn't get the smile right. I don't like her eyes. Yeah, exactly. Look at her hair. It's all pulled back and shit. I want to see it. So should he be able to change it? I don't like her eyes. Yeah, exactly. Look at her hair. It's all pulled back and shit. I want to see it.

So should he be able to change it? I want to give her some fucking jewelry. Come on. I never finished the eyebrows. I want to give her big tits. I want to push them together. Come on. Let me try.

Come on. Come on. Come on. It's my fucking painting. Yeah, exactly. Leonardo da Vinci is a moderate Italian. Yeah, I know. I love it.

Come on. I want bigci is a moderate Italian. Yeah, I know. I love it. Come on! I want big tits with fucking glitter. It's like he's living on Mulberry Street in Italy. Hey, pizza! Yeah, I like fake lips. That's what I want. Give me some claims casino. Hey, this fucking broad.

Look at her. Look at her now. Who was it that proposed that? Hey, this fucking broad. Look at her. Look at her now. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her smile.

Who was it that proposed that? Who was talking about that theory that some people believe that Leonardo da Vinci, that Mona Lisa was him in drag? Yeah, that it was a self-portrait. Who was it? Callan said that when I was bringing up the- That's right. Callan said that the other day.

Yeah, I've seen those things. Pull up a picture of him. This is what we never did. We only pulled up a picture of the photo. We never pulled up a picture of him. This is what we never did. We only pulled up a picture of the photo. We never pulled up a picture of him and the photo. That's fascinating if that really was the case, if he just decided to paint himself in drag. Well, they found all kinds of things in that painting.

In her iris of her eyes, there's actually letters in there and stuff. Like really, really tiny, like straight Illuminati. A fucking demon comes right out of the ground. I had a dream that demons were real. Last night. I just remembered it. I just had a dream where I was... How stupid am I?

I'm almost 51 years old. Dreams are dreams, you know? Yeah, but that's a weak fucking thought. I had a dream the other day where I was the biggest dick in the world. Like I was actually just being really rude to everybody. Here's a drawing of him. Wow. It's like looking in a mirror.

Yeah. Nailed it, guys. That's a, oh. Hmm. Yeah, you know, you can kind of size anything into anything. Yeah. Well, I don't know about that one. Yeah, the head's a little tall.

Yeah, it might have gotten confused with that. You know the drawing of the man in the circle in the square? Yeah. It's a self-portrait, supposedly. Well, you know, maybe he just imagined himself as a woman. I mean, that's not necessarily him in drag. Like, I've imagined that before. What would happen if I was born a girl?

What would I look like? Would I look the same? I just stare at myself naked in the mirror every day. Yeah, finger back myself, bro. Just say, ha-ha, right? I just go, yeah. Right here, right here. Yeah, bro.

We did it. Look what I got. I got a little one of these for you. Look what I got for you. Yeah, I dress like a dude just to fuck with people. Look at my titties. With Michelangelo, I always used to get them confused

with Leonardo da Vinci. Leonardo da Vinci was the one that invented a bunch of shit, though. Yeah, he was the renaissance man. He was also kind of an engineer. He actually made, or at least, it was like a tank

kind of thing. On a plane. An airplane as well. He actually designed but he designed like weapons of war also. Like it wasn't just like airplanes or at least gliders and helicopters and so forth. But yeah, no he Yeah, look at all the different shit that he came up

with. Yeah, that's his tank. Whoa, so it looks like a spaceship. And you can see there's kind of like holes for guns all around it. And it's like wheels. That's fucking crazy. I'm not sure they actually built it or not. That's like a kill everybody tank. They're so nondescript with where those bullets are going.

They're going at 360. 360 degree. He's spinning that thing around. yeah no he made like yeah he he or she like designed weapons of war and you know those were cannons that must have been right probably that's what it kind of looks like they didn't have really guns back then yeah there you go there's in that design yeah yeah oh so they're all cannons oh wow that is crazy yeah no he's a freak he was a he was rad man like he was hanging out with that guy. Yeah, right? Just, you know, draw me like one of your French girls.

Yeah. How weird. The weird guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Michelangelo, the Sistine Chapel, and he was actually more of a sculptor than a painter, funnily enough. Look at that crossbow he invented. Yeah, but it's like a giant one. Yeah. Like, you know, yeah.

Like one of the ones that they killed the Smaug with. Look at the one, the multi-gun. Like he almost kind of invented like a giant one. Yeah. Like, you know, yeah. Like one of the ones that they killed the Smaug with. Look at the one, the multi-gun. Like he almost kind of invented like a machine gun. Like the one just left to that. Yeah. Whoa. That's a bunch of gun barrels. Yeah, yeah.

It's a bunch of gun barrels. And it was like almost like a, it's like the first design for a machine gun, essentially. Wow. It shoots in multiple directions. Like, you know, yeah. I would really love to talk to an extraordinary person from back then. It must have been so different.

Hey, give me some Glems Casino. Hey, look at this fucking guy. Look at the bird. Look at this airplane thing he made. Yeah, like a glider. Like to talk to Picasso or to talk to Da Vinci or any of these people, exceptional people from a long time ago. Picasso was like my favorite,

at least when it comes to his paintings and stuff. But, you know, I heard he wasn't necessarily like, you know, the coolest person to be around kind of thing. You ever see the, there was like- What was the deal with him? I think he was- Crazy, angry artist. He was very aware that he was Picasso.

Like, you know, like he was, yeah, he was already like the most famous painter in the world and he knew it kind of thing. He actually used to walk around. He didn't carry money or a wallet. He just carried a pad. So if he wanted to get a pack of cigarettes, he'd just like, and there you go. So he never had to

pay for anything because he was Picasso. He'd just scribble shit? Yeah. He'd kind of say, and listen, would you accept that trade? A pack of cigarettes for a Picasso? Like, yeah, I'd take that trade. So are those around? Yeah.

He actually has a lot of little sketches all around. They're actually quite affordable, at least in terms of owning a Picasso. Right. Yeah. He was very prolific and just got a lot of ink drawings and so forth. I remember there was the SNL sketch. It was like Lovitz was playing Picasso. But I think he went around kind of just doing anything was playing Picasso and it's like but like he kind of

I think he went around kind of just doing anything he wanted and he's like because I'm Picasso like you know and he was just like just being a jerk

to everybody you can imagine Lovitz doing that Lovitz because I'm Picasso that's a good Lovitz impression oh thanks thanks

yeah there you go he was on news radio for a whole season oh yeah yeah after Phil yeah I hung out with him he's a good guy yeah I've always like every time I've like bumped into him Oh, thanks, thanks. There you go. He was on news radio for a whole season. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. After Phil. Yeah, I hung out with him. He's a good guy.

Yeah, I've always, like, every time I've, like, bumped into him. Very, very, very nice person. Yeah, really, really sweet. I ran into him at, I went to the, with my buddy Seth Green, we went to the Pee Wee Herman Broadway show that they had a bunch of years back. And yeah, I ran into Lovitz, like, there backstage. So it's like, yeah, just like, me, Seth Green, Pee Wee Herman and John Lovitz. And I'm like, this is quite a quite a little get together.

This is great. This is a great table. Lovitz was doing stand-up for a while. I don't think he's doing it anymore because I don't see him anymore. But a few years back, he was doing a lot of stand-up. Like he was, he even bought a club. He bought the John Lovitz Comedy Club and Universal Universal is the worst comedy club design of all time

Well, you know it's it's weird that he was actually able to find a club that was already named after him He was what are the odds he bought a place? It was BB no it was BB King's Club. It was BB King's Blues Club, and he turned it into the John Lovitz thing and He was It was BB King's Blues Club, and he turned it into the John Lovitz thing. And he was, wow, now it's really interesting. I'm remembering that I saw Sean Penn had that older brother, that big brother that died. Chris Penn. I saw that guy there play the harmonica, hammered, went on stage and played the harmonica. Look at me, I'm Chris Penn. Yeah, it was some weird Hollywood thing, and played the harmonica. Look at me.

I'm Chris Penn. Yeah, it was some weird Hollywood thing. And I was like, wow, imagine that. You're so famous. You just jump on stage at a blues club and play the harmonica and everybody's happy you're there. Like, how weird. Yeah. But I was hoping it was going to be like Sean Penn jumped up there and did like his tight

five. But you would be on. That would be strange. John Mayer does stand up. I've heard that. It's be strange. John Mayer does stand up. I've heard that. It's very strange. So if you're on stage here, BB King's place, like if this was a stage, there would be a balcony, but it would be above you, like way up there, like right above you. And so you'd have to look up to see the people that are watching.

So they're basically looking straight down on the top of your head. Worst idea for a comic book design ever. Yeah, that doesn't seem right. Not the worst when you're seeing music. You don't necessarily have to be as connected to the person's face. I've been to a place where you were literally right over the band. And that was kind of neat. Watching the drummer from overhead. It's kind of neat.

But yeah, no. Just watching somebody with a bald spot on the top of their head. Yeah, that's really close. Yeah. And there's love. Hey, look at Yeah. Yeah, that's really close. Yeah. And there's Lovitz. Hey, look at me. Look at me, being funny at my own club. I'm Picasso.

I imagined it was taller than that. That's interesting. My memory is not that good. Yeah. You're getting older. Yes. Well, it's just getting weird because it's got too much shit in there. My brain has too much information.

It's like running out of room almost. Oh, for sure. I'm deleting space in my hard drive for new things. Yeah. And then like seventh grade. I went to seventh grade. Tell me more. Oh, God.

What happened there? Let's get rid of that seventh grade. We don't need that anymore. Who needs cursive? Am I right? I wonder what John's doing. I wonder why he stopped doing stand-up. Because he was actually pretty funny.

It was weird because he was already famous. One of the things was like I had tried to encourage Phil Hartman to do stand-up several times because he would do stand-up where he would warm up for the crowd would be there for the show and in between scenes there was always

some down time and Phil would take the warm-ups microphone and do bits. Just riff. He would do, like, his Bill Clinton impression. This was during the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he had, like, all this material about Bill Clinton and Monica, and his impressions were amazing. Yeah, yeah, no, he's, like, he's one of my favorites of all time on that show.

Yeah, he was amazing. And so he was thinking about, what is this? Two shows tonight. Yeah, I don't know. Where is he? Huntsville. Huntsville, Alabama. Yeah, August 4th.

He's still doing stand-up. Look at that. He didn't give a fuck. Look at him out there. Look at him with those glasses. It's great. He looks happy. He looks happy.

I got 14 likes. I'm John Lovitz. Look at all the likes. Look at all 14 likes. Hey. I'm John Lovitz. Look at all the likes. Look at all my likes. Yeah. So he's still doing it. Interesting. Yeah.

Good for him. Good for him. Like I said, I've always liked him. He's a great guy. When I did SNL, I think it was the first season where he had just left, I think. Oh. Because I did it pretty much, probably if I had to pick a season, it would have been the one I did. Because you still had Carvey, and you still to pick a season I would have been the one I did

Because you still had Carvey and you still had Hartman and Victoria Jackson The whole kind of group I forgot about Victoria Jackson She was fucking hilarious What happened to her? She's a hardcore conservative now What?

Yeah, huge right winger She's put on a little weight, but haven't we all Really? She's actually a hardcore conservative now. Like, she shouts it from the mountaintops. What? Mm-hmm. What was she like when you met her?

She was fine. I mean, listen. Was she conservative back then? I was busy doing the show kind of thing. You know what I mean? Because it's a lot of work. Sure. Not only that, I had to do it without cue cards because my father didn't want me to use cue cards.

So I had to memorize all that stuff. The fuck, Dad? Plus the skits I didn't even make into the show. So I had to memorize skits that didn't even end up in the show. Yeah. What kind of shit is that, Dad? Like I said, I had a good memory. And he didn't want me reading because you can see it.

You can see it when people are reading. Oh, yeah. And he didn't want me doing that. So no cue card. But also that means the other actors No cue card for them either. Yeah, of course not. Oh, Christ. I'm sure my father made a lot of friends

that weekend. Well, that's fucked up. How can he dictate whether or not the other actors get cue cards? I don't know. Because apparently he could. Victoria Jackson's a hardcore conservative.

That's so strange to me. Like I said, she shouts it from the mountaintops. She's active. So it was that whole kind of group, that kind of late 80s group. But then also it was Mike Myers' second season. I think it was Schneider, Sandler, Chris Rock. So it was like that kind of overlap here. So it actually got like a really kind of like really good group.

That was neat. That was neat. It's always weird when someone from like a TV show gets really political. Yeah. You know, like Chuck Woolery from The the love connection that guy is he's so fucking crazy conservative it's nuts yeah his twitter feed i go to his twitter feed every now and then just to see what crazy old men conservatives are really interested in yeah how often does he use the term fake news you know yeah fake news and the libs and the dems yeah yeah yeah the dems and the libs and the dems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the dems and the libs.

The alt-right. Yeah, apparently he's got a radio show. Like some, like all, we make sense. One of those things. You know? No nonsense. Blunt force truth. Blunt force truth.

There it is. Blunt force truth. You damn liberals. It's kind of more like, that sounds like a ban from Brooklyn. Look at it. 3D printed firearms are a concern for crime, but criminals will do bad things no matter what. Find out more by listening to Blunt Force Truth. Look at that.

It's hashtag BFT. Wow, he's pushing that now. We should listen to some of that. Just for hee-hees and ha-ha's. Yeah, I know, right? You should also follow James Woods. Oh, goodness. It says it right there.

If you like this, you'll like that. You like old dudes. Old dudes who want to put up giant gates. And they're going to make it solar, too. What happened to actor Peter Fonda? He's super conservative, too, now, isn't he? I don't know that one. Urges Democrats to commit voter fraud. Oh, the opposite.

No, I think it's the opposite, yeah. He's a super, super Democrat. Rosie O'Donnell turns feud with Trump into activism. Bitter Rosie, all caps. Trump rallies aren't real. His supporters are paid. Blood force truth. Blood force truth.

Just look at you. Oh, look at that. That's some journalistic integrity from Chuck Woolery. That's his whole thing, though. His whole thing is that now. I think he lives in Texas or something. I think he escaped California and all the crazy libs. We'll be right back in two and two.

Yeah, yeah. Two and two. I forget the name of that show. I remember I used to like it. That one on the Game libs. We'll be right back in two and two. Yeah, yeah, two and two. I forget the name of that show. I remember I used to like it, the one on the Game Show Network, the one with all the boxes and it was like letters

and stuff. Fuck, I forget the name of it. What's that? He hosted so many shows. Did he? Yeah. I only remember the Love Connection.

He had like 10 maybe. Really? Yeah, the Game Show Network, yeah, like when that like launched. They're like, yeah, we can get Chuck Woolery

So why not? I'll go on if you let me talk about the damn libs Yeah, exactly Trebek was busy He's already busy on his own thing But we can get Woolery How weird Scrabble, or Lingo too

Lingo, there we go Hey! Welcome back I've got a tie and cue cards Scrabble. Or Lingo, too. Lingo. There we go. Oh, there it is. That's the show. Yeah, there it is. Look at him. Hey. Hey, welcome back. I've got a tie and cue cards. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Look at that. What is it?

It's an E. Oh, look at that. Look at those two dorks. I'm wearing sunglasses inside. I'm on TV. So much judgment. Look at those assholes. It's fun.

It's fun to do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun to be judgy. Yeah, exactly. It's fun. It fun to do Oh yeah It's fun to be judgy Yeah exactly It's fun It's fun I actually kind of need to pee Is that okay?

Yeah go pee man Alright cool Don't worry about it Are we live? Yeah It doesn't matter I'm gonna go pee guys Just go pee dude

We'll talk some shit about Chuck Woolery While you're gone Yeah go Chuck Woolery Naturally stoned Go vamp He did a show called

Naturally stoned Come on Get the fuck out of here He has a what? He has a show called Naturally Stoned? Come on Get the fuck out of here He has a what? He has a song A song called Naturally Stoned? What is this? Naturally Stoned, an American reality television show

That starred American game show host Chuck Woolery Six episodes aired In Game Show Network In 2003 between June 15th and July 27th. Series centered around Woolery and his family, specifically his personal life and his work as a host of Game Show Network's original game show, Lingo. The show placed strain on both Woolery's workload and his marriage. It says the series title is derived from his top 40 song from his band

The Avant Garde. What? He had a... What? What? What the fuck? What? He had a band? Chuck Woolery had a band? American Psychedelic Pop Group. Get the fuck... 1967. I gotta play this. Get the fuck out of here. You gotta find that song.

A psychedelic pop group? Oh my goodness, Chuck. Naturally stoned. Psychedelics but natural psych. He had a pop band. Yes. Yes. Yes. The song was Naturally Stoned. It was like a Mamas and the Papas-esque, kind of like

60s kind of song. I think he probably was trying to do it on the natch, though. Okay, let's listen to some of this. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Yeah. That's him right there. Naturally stoned.

Honey and gall. Who's Honey? I've got to pull this out. Yeah. You've got to pull it off of YouTube. Otherwise, we'll get pulled. So the people listening on YouTube, you've go Google Avant Garde Naturally Stoned. The people that are listening on Google Play and iTunes and all that shit, you can hear this.

Yeah, no, it's very like incense and peppermints kind of thing. It's not terrible. Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. Okay, it just got terrible Keep going Oh my god Sounds groovy, man

Yeah Like I'm naturally stoned He's stoned Naturally stoned And there's Chuck Wow, look at Chuck up front. We'll be right back in two and two. Yeah, two and two.

He's got wooden beads on. Is that wooden beads around his neck too? Yeah, yeah. They both do. They're like, look, guys, we got beads on. We're cool. I feel like I'm at a party like on Hate Ashbury or something like that in the late 60s. The guy in the back with his hand on his hip.

See what the fuck he's up to these days. Maybe he's the other guy. That's Pet Sajak. Pet Sajak. Pet Sajak. Honey and Gall. Like, what is that? I think that's the name of the album. Oh, that's the name of the album.

Oh, I don't know, actually. No, it's probably the B-side. Elkin Bubba Fowler. Elkin's got a duck hunting show on the Sportsman's Channel now. This guy? No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. What is he doing now? There's a Leonard Cohen thing on there.

A Leonard Cohen album or something. Look at that. The Avant-Garde. How strange. There he is. I think Blunt Force Truth is a better name for a band than the Avant-Garde. Yeah, it is, right? Yeah, tonight at the pit. Blunt Force Truth. You don't want to know the truth, but I'm going to tell you.

It's blunt. Blunt force. What a weird name for a show. Blunt force truth. Spitting hot truth right in your face. Spitting it. Just spitting it. Spitting hot fire that you don't want to hear.

Top shit. Hot fire. Wake up, kids. I always loved that line from Chappelle. It was like, I spit hot fire. And it was just like, as if there's Hot fire. Wake up, kids. I always loved that line from Chappelle. It was like, I spit hot fire. And it was just like, as if there's cold fire. I'm spitting hot fire right in your ear. Cold fusion.

That's so strange, that whole thing, that he was in a band. Yep. The avant-garde, too. Oh, gosh. That is so of that era. It's so funny when those old dudes get real... Oh, look at that. Chuck Lorre from 1974.

Look at that hair. Check out the burns. Very Jay Leno-esque in that photo. Yeah. Look at him here. Give me some volume. Let me hear him sing. Here he goes.

I've lost that love before. I've lost that love before. Oh, my gosh. I got mad and closed the door. I mean, he definitely has a nice voice. Yeah, it's not a bad voice. Hmm. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I've heard this song before. This is a cover. This is a cover. You make me so very happy. this is a cover okay kill this how do you how do you how do you go from the avant-garde to like yeah like hosting like you know well because the dating game or whatever because this isn't good yeah there you go that's a weird transition well he's a handsome guy probably a good talker. And his agent was like, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, I'm telling you, the music is not your thing.

Yeah. Hosting. I'm going to give you the blunt force truth. You don't want to hear it, but I'm going to tell you. Game show host. He's like, I like that phrase. You've got to look. You've got to look, Chuck.

The look is game show host. You got it. You have it. Listen, how about you being on the game show network? What do you think about that, fella? Does anyone actually ever aspire to be a game show host? Oh, for sure. I know, but like when you're a kid,

you know what I mean? Like you want to be an astronaut or whatever. There's got to be someone who watches Price is Right. Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell. He wanted to be a game show host. But he's not a real person. I know, I'm just saying. I'm just making conversation. Right now, there's some kid right now whose fucking dream you just shattered. We're going talking.

No. You mocked my dream. No, I was just asking. You piece of shit. I was asking a question. It was a legit question. Like, you know, like, yeah, do people aspire to be game show hosts? Yeah, for sure.

Because I know in the UK, like, host is a thing that people aspire to be. Right. Like, I ask somebody, what do you do? He's like, I host. I'm like, what does that mean? Like, yeah, they're usually like a panelist on aspire to be. Right. Like, that's, like, I ask somebody, what do you do? He's like, oh, I host. I'm like, what does that mean? Like, yeah, they're usually, like, a panelist on, like, a show. Television presenter. Yeah, presenter.

Yes. Exactly. Like, you know. Yes. Yes. A presenter. That song actually gave them, it was so, or so much of a hit that they were a one-hit wonder then, and he had to become a truck driver to supplement his income.

He then signed on as a solo artist, had five more songs on his own. Didn't obviously work out that well. Then he became the first host of Wheel of Fortune in 1975. What? Oh, there you go. What? What do you know? Pat Sajak's been doing it since 1981.

That's crazy. So how long did he do it for? Six years, five, six years. He did Wheel of Fortune for six years? Jeez. What year did it start? 75. So it was a year after that, after that thing we just watched. So it was one year later. I hope he still had that hair, that mane of hair

of his. He still does, I think. Salt and pepper. Yeah, those little sideburns, the mutton chops. Old school ones. Go down to your job. Salary dispute is the reason why it wasn't hosted. Fucked up, Chuck. And then did he go straight to Sajak? Imagine if he fucking turns it on and it's still on the air. He's like, still?

Fucking still? Damn it. I could have been Bruce and Monty by now. My agent's a piece of shit. That's the blunt force truth. You want to know the blunt force truth? I fucked up with my contract negotiations. I have regrets. That's the truth. Maybe he didn't want to do it anymore. Maybe that's what it was my contract negotiations. I have regrets. That's the truth. Maybe he didn't want to do it anymore.

Maybe that's what it was. The contract negotiations. But then he went straight into the dating game or whatever. It's a better show. Get to see chicks. I guess so. They're trying to get laid. Yeah, I guess so.

That's what you got. You got chicks and dudes trying to get laid. Yeah. You're a facilitator. You're putting love together. I mean, you know who got the most action was Richard Dawson. Family feud. Oh, yeah.

He always kissed every lady on the lips. That's true. Even the ones that were underage. Did you ever see that movie with the... I think it's a speech you're seeing on Richard Dawson. The guy who was in Hogan's Heroes with him. What was that fucking movie? Oh, like... The movie about that guy...

That's not Super 8. Something like that. 8mm? Yeah, it's one of those. It's not that. Yeah, yeah. The movie where... What was that. 8mm? Yeah, it's one of those. It's not that. Yeah, yeah. The movie where... What was that guy's name?

I don't know. He was apparently... The guy was the star of Hogan's Heroes, and then he just became the freak of the week. He just came up. He was homemade porno all the time. That's all he did. That's all he did.

Home porn. Yeah, yeah. And then they think the guy he did porn with killed him. I believe his murder was never solved but there was some sort of extenuating circumstances that connected his porn buddy

the guy who was in the movie maybe that was what they implied in the movie I think that was what it was well if it was in a movie it has to be true they don't ever lie, man. True crime. That's the thing about movies. When they do a story about your life, they don't change shit.

Fuck no. They literally get every word right. Otherwise, they would lose credibility. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's movies where they change shit. You're like, why did you change that? Like, they just decide.

Like, historical things. Because they always say, like, oh, it's creative license. Why did you change that? They just decide. Historical things. They always say, oh, it's creative license, or we have to condense things because a person's life is so long, and things like that. Do you remember that movie about the movie with, it was with, what's his name from The Office? Carell?

Yeah, Steve Carell. He played that guy. Foxcatcher? Foxcatcher, yes. Thank you. We were both thinking the same thing. I was just waiting to get the description because I was going to say, Foxcatcher? And he'd be like, no, not that. That movie's based on two very famous wrestlers, Dave Schultz and Mark Schultz.

And in the movie, they put a ton of bullshit in there. Yeah. And they'll mean a lot of it. And Mark was furious when the movie came out. Yeah, I remember reading that. And he went on a crazy wild Twitter storm. But then after the end of the movie, there's a historic moment in that movie

that they just completely made up. He fought this guy named Big Daddy Goodrich in the UFC. I mean, it's sports history. That sounds like a WWE wrestler. I know it does. Big Daddy. He could have been a WWE wrestler. But Big Daddy Goodrich, who's really a pioneer in MMA fighting, was this big fucking jack black guy who wore a gi.

He wore a traditional karate gi into the octagon. In the movie, they have him fighting a white guy. A Russian guy. Whitewashing. They just decided, they don't want to see white guys. This is America. We have to fight the Russians. I was like, why would you change the race and the name

of the guy he fought? Yeah, that just seems weird and petty, almost. No, you know what it is? It's just weird. It's just greasy producers who think they're smart. You've been around them. You know those fucks. I have no idea what you're talking about. Tell me more.

Let me tell you. I'm going to give you the blunt force truth on greasy producers. Right in your face. Spitting hot fire right in your ear. Right in your face, you fucking libs. They just decide they're smarter than everybody and they know better. They know how to change history and make it a better show. Yeah.

Like I said, it was the 80s, so yes, it has to be against a Russian kind of thing. It was in the 80s. Well, I'm saying it takes place. Doesn't it take place? No, it takes place in the 90s. Never mind. 90s, yeah. It was, I think he fought in 1995 or something like that.

Kurt Angle, like I know, trained in that facility, the Foxcatcher. Yeah. A lot of guys did. He's talked about that. How crazy that guy was, just decided to set up some wrestling thing so he could get weird with these dudes. Yeah, exactly.

He wanted a bunch of strong, sweaty men rubbing up against each other. I bet you those wrestlers, when they're training, I bet you whoever they're training with knows their body better than their wives. It's a really intimate thing. I bet you whoever they're training with knows their body better than their wives. It's a really intimate thing. I mean, I bet you they know every curve of their training.

Hey, you're losing weight here, Tom? Yeah, exactly. When I cinch this grip around your waist, it feels like a little easier now. I like it. I like it. That is an intimate sport. You're putting on some shoulder muscle, buddy. Look at that.

Look at this up here. What, are you a little sore there? You know sciatica? Something's twitching in your buttocks. Yeah, remember when he was in the movie? Steve Carell was so good in that movie. I loved him in that, yeah. God, he played that creep so well.

Yeah. Because he played it like a guy who's like a loose cannon. Yeah. Creepy, weird, loose cannon. And like the small. Yeah. You know, the way he kind of like his movements and speech like it was it was good It was good remember when he was well like he decided he was gonna coach and coach the wrestlers and show them how to do

Certain moves and everybody just sort of tolerated it yeah, they're kind of like oh Let him have this one so strange, but what a great scene, but here's the thing like that That scene was so good, but now I great scene. But here's the thing, like, that scene was so good, but now I know you lied at the end. So I know you lied at the end of the movie, so now I go, well, did you make up that scene, too? It starts losing credibility. I did watch a doc about that. I think there's a 30 for 30

about the Foxcatcher Institute or whatever it was. Well, there was a lot of footage on that guy, and Carell fucking nailed it. He nailed that guy. DuPont. John DuPont. Yeah, what a strange, footage on that guy, and Carell fucking nailed it. Yeah. He nailed that guy. DuPont. John DuPont. Yeah. Yeah, what a strange, strange guy that guy was. Mr. DuPont.

That's an unfortunate thing about those wrestlers. There's no real professional venue other than fighting if they want to go into MMA. And he was a coach at Brigham Young, Mark Schultz was, and he just, he fought one time in the UFC and then just stayed. I don't think they wanted him doing it. I think that was part of the dispute, is that his coach, I believe it was Brigham Young, his, the school that he was coaching for was like, listen, you want to coach here, you can't be

cage fighting. Especially like early MMA, it was not respected at all. I remember John McCain trying to like, it was a blood sport. Yeah, but you know what that was about? That was about Budweiser. Because Budweiser sponsored boxing. And MMA was doing very well with pay-per-view back then. And they wanted to stop it in its tracks.

And Budweiser was a big part of that. And Budweiser sort of got behind him. It's all greasy. Yeah, I mean, the boxing world is so greasy. Because I'm a fight fan. At least like boxing, I was always kind of world is so greasy, because I'm a fight fan. At least, like, boxing, I was kind of, like, always kind of raised that way. Like, I do follow it. I've only recently

kind of gotten into, like, the MMA kind of stuff. Like, I've gone to some shows. Going to see any sporting event is always great live, looking at it. Do you go to live boxing matches, though? I haven't in a while, but yeah. Like, especially, I used to. Like, I used to go to, like, I saw Holyfield Moore one. Did you really? Yeah, I saw Holyfield Moore one I saw Holyfield Bow one

Wow During that peak That 90s era Did a lot of those Those were great But that stuff is so greasy I remember the first Holyfield Lewis

How that ended in a draw So they could double up their money I don't remember that fight I don't remember Holyfield-Lewis, like how that ended in a draw, so they could double up their money and stuff. I don't remember that fight. I don't remember Holyfield versus Lewis at all. Yeah, they fought twice. Did Lewis win the first time? No, draw the first time. But should he have won?

Yeah. Yeah. You know, Lewis was a great boxer, but at the same time, I just remember being driven nuts, like where he was, like where his belt, like up to here.

It was like way past his belly button. And he's already like 6'6 already. And it's kind of just like, yeah, he's wearing that thing too high. He's getting away with murder kind of thing. Oh, look at you. Yeah, it should have – I'm surprised he got away with that equipment. But most referees will tell you you can hit him here. Yeah. But like I said, it was you can hit them here. Yeah, yeah.

But, you know, like I said, it was kind of just, it felt like an unfair advantage, especially for a guy who was like, like I said, 6'6". Right. Already enormous. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, so it's even higher than normal. And that would be a big target for somebody who's like only like, you know. So you follow boxing today, though? Yeah, yeah.

I'm really looking forward. You know, I want to see Wilder versus Joshua. Like, that's what I want to see in the heavyweight division. I don't think that's going to happen for a while. Yeah. Tyson Fury, though,. I want to see Wilder versus Joshua. That's what I want to see. I don't think that's going to happen for a while. Tyson Fury though, he's kind of back in the ring. Tyson Fury might fuck them all up. That's the problem. I know. They're all big guys. They are big guys, but

Tyson Fury looks fucking fantastic. There's some footage on his Instagram of him doing pad work. And he's fighting really soon. He just fought a warm up, kind of like some journeyman. But he's fighting really soon. He just fought a warm-up, kind of like some journeyman. But he's got a bout coming up. Tyson does.

I think it just happened. Or does he have another one coming up? I think he's got it. I'm pretty sure he's got another one. I'm a big Deontay Wilder fan. I am too. Yeah. He's a wild man.

Yeah, exactly. Unorthodox. And man, the way he fucking slugs. Jesus Christ. Vicious vicious vicious power Oh, yeah, I watched those highlight reels and just like yeah, like I mean, it's give that guy a seizure There was that one where the boom the guy lands he just like he's like a flopping around like a fish It's like Jesus Christ. He hits fucking hard cuz he's like six seven. He's a big dude. He is long to like crazy leverage

Yeah, he really snaps is right. Yeah, you know, boom. Yeah, the recent one. Yeah. Yeah, that was... Came back from, like, was losing that fight and then stopped Ortiz. I thought it showed, like, yeah, it showed that, like, he's got heart. He's got a pretty okay chin. You know, like, he knows how to recover. Who's your favorite fighter to watch?

Right now? Yeah. Like I said, I really do love watching Wilder, like, right now. Triple G's good. Yeah, I love Triple G. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, like, yeah, like, he might be, like right now. Triple G's good. Yeah, I love Triple G. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, he might be like an all-timer kind of thing. I just wish he had more comp.

Look how good this guy looks. Six foot nine. Give me some volume on this so I can hear this. And he's thick, too. But he's like showing how slick he is, because he's not just big. He's big and long, but here, so this is coming up. He toyed with Klitschko. Saturday the 18th.

He toyed with Klitschko. Yeah, man. Dude, he's fucking good, and he gives people fits. Yeah, the new rumor is it's supposed to be Wilder versus Fury. Like, now the Joshua talks of not happening. Well, yeah. Tyson Fury could fuck up that whole thing, man. So it's the 18th of August.

And they're both a little, like, unorthodox, too. So it'd be actually interesting to see, like, him square off with Wilder. Fuck yeah. Yeah. And they're both super long. Yeah. That would be very interesting. But I think...

It'd probably be, like, the first time Wilder's fighting somebody who's bigger than him. Not just bigger, but super slick. He's gonna give him fits. Yeah. Yep. I mean, look, Wilder can knock out anybody, but Tyson Fury, he'll give you fits. Like, that guy's... Because Wilder is like, what, like 37-0 with 36 knockouts.

He's only gone the distance once. I know, it's crazy. That's a crazy record. Yep. It's Tyson-esque, like young Tyson-esque, but they're completely different fighters. Yeah. Young Tyson was just so tight, and Wilder, he puts his hands down. Yeah. He wants to counterp tight and like, you know, like, and Wilder's, he puts his hands down.

Yeah. He wants to counter punch. Like, you know, that's his whole thing. You know what's interesting is people still don't believe in him. Like, I had heard that the Anthony Joshua fight, like, I would think that that would be like a pretty evenly matched fight. People are like, no, no, like Joshua's heads, you know, heads above everybody else. And it's like, you know, I'm not so sure.

Like, you know, he's taking on some good challenges though. I mean, like Joshua can go. He's amazing. Yeah. Don't get me wrong, but he got knocked down by Klitschko. Tyson Fury toured with Klitschko. Yeah, putting his hands behind his back. Yeah.

Like that. Maybe it was not the same as prepared a Klitschko. You know, fighters are different for every fight. Yeah, and Klitschko's like, yeah, like aging, obviously. Yes. You know, at that point. Yeah, but I just think that that style, that Tyson Fury style, avoid that shit like measles. Get away.

Yeah. There's a reason why Joshua doesn't want to fight Wilder or Fury. Yeah. Because also, he is the top draw right now. He can sell out 40,000, 50,000 in his home country, whereas Wilder, in his home state, he fights a lot in Alabama. It's like 10,000 or something like that like you know so Joshua's a bigger draw well he's becoming I think Wilder's becoming a bigger draw nationally now but it's I think that's

also one of the things with boxing is like they're always trying to figure out like when do we make this fight do we make it now or do we wait a couple of months let's just get two undefeated champions fight each other like that doesn't really happen that often, especially in the heavyweight division. I know. It could be something that's really special. Someone could fuck up and lose. Yeah. Come on.

Exactly. Especially. Or it could be Mayweather-Pacquiao all over again, where it happened, but it happened too late. Right. Exactly. Yeah. So stay the fuck away from Tyson Fury, kids.

What'd you think about the McGregor-Mayweather leg fight? He did much better than I thought he was going to do. Yeah, me too. But I think that Mayweather was probably wanting to wear him out and so allowed him to— But he did catch Mayweather with a very clean left hand. He was rabbit punching the whole time. That was driving me insane. Just kept on punching the back of his head.

I'm surprised the ref— He was hammer fisting him, too. Yeah, exactly. That was driving me insane. Just kept on punching the back of his head. I'm surprised the ref... He was hammer fisting him, too. Yeah, exactly. I was like, you can't do that. I was surprised the ref... Let him get away with murder. I think he wanted to frustrate him. I think he wanted to frustrate Mayweather and get Mayweather to try to slug with him.

To open up. Yeah, because Mayweather's defense is super tight. No, he came in there... Mayweather fought a perfect kind of fight. He's like, I'm going to let this guy gas himself out. And that's exactly what he did. Well, Conor's not a knock. And, like, no, he came in there, like, Mayweather fought a perfect kind of fight. He's like, just, I'm gonna let this guy gas himself out. And that's exactly what he did. Maybe he was not a knockout artist, but he knocked him out. He definitely stopped him. But Conor's not

known for his cardio. He's a fast twitch guy. Yeah. I think it was when they opened up the books for that fight, it was 1,000 to 1 for McGregor to win by decision. Listen, I almost put a grand on that just anyway, just on principle. Just to see.

I know, right? I was just like, wow, I just won a million dollars. I just won a million dollars. There's a reason why it was 1,000 to 1, but I kind of want to just sit there and turn to my friends like, I think I just won a million dollars. Do you know how crazy that would be to win a million dollars by putting down a thousand? Like a thousand dollar bet? Holy shit.

There's been some crazy, but those bets are nuts. Like, will it make it out of the first round? Yeah, yeah. By decision. And they even have like disqualification bets. Yeah, yeah. Like, exactly. Like, you know, I used to play a lot of cards.

I love prop bets. Just like, you know, like in that moment, it's like, I bet you, like, I can guess within, you know, a hundred dollars how many chips are in front of you right now like you know like that kind of stuff or like you know or it's like all right like you know give me you know give me a you know one in ten chance you pull out a dollar bill from your pocket and whatever the last number is like if i get it right you know you can pay me ten to one like just like weird prop bets like people like like they like players like kind of go nuts with that kind of stuff. Well, gambling junkies do, right?

Yeah, exactly. Look, I remember I was playing cards at this one club and this guy just was sports betting like crazy, but now it's like,

you know, like two in the morning, three in the morning and he's looking down and he goes, does anyone know anything about cricket? And, like,

that was the only game that was going on. There was a cricket game in India and he was like, yeah, I'm gonna, like, dude, you actually have a problem. Like, that's, like, you know, yeah, like, you have to, like, that was the only game that was going on. There was a cricket game in India. And he was like, yeah, I'm going to like, I was like, dude,

you actually have a problem. Like, that's like, you know, yeah, like you have to like, like, that's a problem.

You're betting on cricket. What are you doing, man? It's two in the morning. Anyone know anything about cricket? Well, that's the crazy thing

about those sports books. You can look up and watch that shit. Yeah, yeah. You can like, here's a bunch of horses. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Who's going to win? I've actually, I have a buddy who does, like, is into the races and stuff like that. And like, he streams You get like, here's a bunch of horses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's going to win? I have a buddy who is into the races and stuff like that, and he streams it from all the way. It is kind of fun. Horse racing? Yeah. But you kind of just randomly, just like, sure, number eight.

I knew a guy. And then just like, come on, eight. I knew a guy who got banned for life from chariot races for trying to rig a race. Because his horse was winning, and his horse wasn't supposed to win. I knew a guy who got banned for life from chariot races for trying to rig a race. Because his horse was winning, and his horse wasn't supposed to win. He's literally standing up, pulling back on the reins as his horse was winning. It's like, come on. He's trying to slow him down.

Quit it. Quit it. Cut that shit. Cut that shit off. His name was George the Greek. That's what he used to call him. Wow. Guy from a pool hall in White Plains, New York.

Yeah, the Greek is like, yeah, because there was Jimmy the Greek back in the day. Yeah, he was always trying to, he was always telling us, what is that? It's a little vape. Oh, no, go ahead. All right, cool. He was always telling us that he was going to win the lawsuit. I got the counselor. Yeah, the counselor was his lawyer. I got counselor working on the case.

I got this fucking thing. I got him locked down. Chariot racing. How do you get into chariot racing? You're an asshole. Obviously you need, if it's a sport, do you fall into that line of work?

Again, when you're a kid, you're going, when I grow up, I want to be a chariot racer. Maybe you watched a lot of that movie with Kirk Douglas. Didn't they chariot race back then? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Just imagining himself with a bow and arrow in the back. Yeah, with those crazy wrist plates. Wear those big ass bracelets.

Exactly. Some greaves. That was a crazy movie because if you look at the difference between Spartacus and 300, right? Yeah, yeah. If you look at the difference between Spartacus and 300, right? Yeah. If you look at Spartacus, they had normal bodies, like guys that just ate toast and didn't work out. Back in the Roman days, I'd be considered tall. I'm 5'7". A lot of those soldiers, like Spartans and a lot of Romans, they were like 5'5". Because they probably had no food.

Yeah. There was a lot of just not- Malnutrition. Yeah. I was going to say malnutrition, but I was kind of like yeah i was gonna say malnutrition but i was kind of like it wasn't straight malnutrition it just wasn't good nutrition the kind of thing a lot a lot of like a like salt pork yeah you know like that kind of thing a lot of like weird flatbreads you know just not a lot of not a lot of grain not a lot of uh greens you know a lot of just grain and salted beef

it was probably really hard to get good food back then. Like, as you're growing up, you probably were always malnourished. And no one was fat either, right? It's very rare that people are fat. Yeah, people were rarely fat. Well, that's why it's like a fat lady was considered really, really sexy because it showed that she was well fed. She's got some cash.

Exactly. She's eating. Yeah. Look at her. Look at all the curves. Because it showed that she was well fed. She's got some cash exactly That's why I think you see like the Aphrodite like and stuff like that it's all very very curvy Yeah, yeah, they went through a whole era where those Ruben ask women. Yeah, that was the thing. That's what everybody wanted Yeah, I want to give me a big game. Yeah, yeah Some some cushion for the push in Now we're in danger right now now We're treading in dangerous waters Even talking about that

Do you have photos of Kirk Douglas? Find Kirk Douglas and Spartacus Sporadicus Sporadicus Sporadicus When you were in Paris Did you know Oh there he is

That looks like a guy who's literally never swung a sword. Yeah, he already looks old there. Oh, yeah. Well, I bet he was probably in his 30s because people back then just aged worse. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck was going on. They didn't age good. It was the liquor and the cigarettes.

Cigarettes and the cigarettes. Yeah, but you smoke cigarettes and you look fantastic. You look great. I agree. What is that? Let's take a guess. Let's take a guess how old he was during Spartacus. That was in like the early... I think he was a hair under 40.

I think you're right. I would go with 37. What is he? 44. Oh! So he kind of looks like 44. Yeah. But not at today's 44.

Yeah. Like, Daniel Craig's jacked as fuck. He's probably like 44. How old's Daniel Craig right now? James Bond? But doesn't he have some like crow's feet or whatever? Yeah, but he's jacked. I know. Yeah, he's a thick dude what is he 50 50 wow jacked really he's 50 that's right motherfucker oh look at that looking good how old are you 50

you're a big dude look at that jacked mm-hmm you're a big dude but I can take you whoa that looks like fucking James Bond to me not all these other pussies that. Jacked. You're a big dude, but I can take you. Whoa. That looks like fucking James Bond to me. Not all these other pussies. He's my all-time favorite James Bond, by far. That's a real James Bond. I like his steely resolve. My other favorite James Bond is a potential James Bond. I don't know if he's

a James Bond yet. It's Idris Elba. Because he's jacked and because white people are mad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a fantastic four movie and they got like Michael B. Jordan. It's like everyone just calmed down.

Look at that right there. Oh, good Lord. Look at his body. Look at that. Barf. Look at that. That's what I mean. He's already kind of got a little, like he's got the beginning of Mantis.

Yeah. I mean, he's not bad. Yeah. No, that's not, believe me, that's better than my body. He's got the beginning of mantids. Yeah. I mean, he's not bad. Yeah, no, that's not... Believe me, that's better than my body. He's not fat. It's just he doesn't look like a guy who fought with a fucking sword for a living. Yeah, but that's probably more accurate to what actual Romans look like. No, not if they were an actual gladiator.

If they were an actual gladiator, they had to swing swords around. Look at that arm. Come on, son. That arm ain't carrying no swords. It's just lean muscle it's lean muscle yeah it's wiry bro yeah yeah you got some you got some veins uh coming out there yeah yeah bro he's jacked but um yeah this is kubrick people always forget yeah spartacus k Kubrick. Confirm that. Wow. That's amazing. Apparently he hated it too.

He hated the movie? Yeah. It was probably one of those things he had to do. Yeah. There you go. 1960. Yeah. Jeez.

God, I loved his movies. Yeah. Yeah. No, this is actually one of the weaker ones really. Did you ever read The Shining? No. It's really interesting. It is different. Stephen King did not like it.

Yeah. The movie. He did not like the movie because they did the tv movie yes like in the early 2000s with the guy steven weber yeah and uh he just decided that you know like kubrick had made jack nicholson crazy already yeah and he didn't like that. He wanted a guy that was turned crazy by the house. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But how the fuck are you going to do that

in a two-hour movie? Do you know what's not scary? Hedges. You know, there's a thing, it's like, probably, like, you know,

I bet you if you read it or whatever, it probably seems creepy. Like, when he's talking about how the hedges are moving when he's not looking and stuff like that. But when you physically see it, it's not scary at all.

You know what I mean? Like, yeah. It's just like things like that. Just don't visually translate. But it worked in the book. The book's amazing. The book's really – it's a big-ass book, too. Oh, it's Stephen King.

I mean, they're all – you know, yeah. I think it's a big-ass book. Maybe I'm confusing it with the Dark Tower series. There's also – the stand is really thick, too. Yeah, maybe that's why. That's a dictionary. It's like paperweight. He was...

I mean, still is, but so fucking prolific. There's a thing with the mazes. It's like, yeah, the mazes keep on kind of changing. The one that you see in the model there and the one that exists, and there's also a map on the outside of it, all three of those are different. Can you climb those bushes and get a look from the top? I think it's kind of more like stems.

I don't think they're like thick branches. Just hack your way through. Just walk straight. Yeah, that's true. What are you, a pussy? Scared of bushes? What are you, scared of a bush? Come on, bro.

Come on. Well, the hedges are moving in the book. They're monsters. Yeah, they're... They're demon hedges. It's kind of like these Edward Scissorhand-esque, kind of like, it's a kitten. And then it's like, oh, it's moving when you're not looking. I'm like, oh, that's an adorable cat hedge.

That place, that's supposed to be Estes Park. Is that what it's supposed to be? That area? It's supposed to be somewhere in Colorado that's like that. Yeah, I mean, i think that's where they filmed it or at least they uh you know the outdoor film some of it and i think they filmed some of it also in upstate new york yeah yeah like yeah but like and then they did like a studio i think i think it was in london usually kubrick worked in out of london but yeah the overlook hotel there

we go yes yeah it's actually like it's not called The Overlook in real life, but yeah, it's in Colorado. That was a fucking great movie. Yeah. So creepy and weird. He did so many of them. Remember Eyes Wide Shut? That was another one that was like, what in the fuck?

That's his last movie. A lot of people didn't like that one. I thought that was fascinating. Yeah, I'm a little soft on it, at least when it comes to like, I mean, it's still great, but I put it lower on my Kubrick list. Yeah, Clockwork Orange, 2001. I mean, it's still great, but I put it lower on my Kubrick list. Yeah, Clockwork Orange, 2001. I mean, you name it.

You know, during his spare time, he used to do complex mathematics. That sounds about right. Yeah. It seems right. He was like a legit genius. Yeah. He has archives in, I think it's in London, but there's actually the Stanley Kubrick library. And you actually can kind can go through his scripts

and his notes and all that kind of stuff. There's a whole archive that's supposed to be pretty neat. Do you see yourself ever making movies? Producing or directing or writing something? If it peaks my fancy kind of thing. If it peaks my fancy.

I'd be open to doing something like that. It's a matter of the right kind of thing, timing and so forth. Yeah. Like right now wouldn't be ideal, but like, you know, a year from now, like, yeah, I probably might be a little freer, like that kind of thing. You know, yeah. Like, you know, hopefully the company will be moving on its own by that kind of thing. Hey, here's something I want to ask you about Paris.

This is one thing that I was only there for a short period of time, but one of the things I was shocked by is that all those people are eating bread and they're all eating cheese and wine and no one's fat. What the fuck is that? Again, it's kind of the way that you kind of eat, how you kind of have a light breakfast

but a heavy dinner. I think that has to do with it. And also, you can't call yourself a boulangerie, like a bakery, unless you make everything from scratch. Like, so everything's made from scratch. And like, the thing is, is that like your baguette will be stale in 24 hours. Same thing with the croissants. Like there's no preservatives in anything. Like in general out there, like all your food spoils faster in your fridge.

Because, yeah, it's fresh. There's no hormones and things or steroids. He was an oncologist from Paris, and he lived in America, and he went back to France and brought back cheese. Because the cheese that he could get over there was not homogenized or pasteurized. It's literally illegal here. So he would have to tuck it in his carry-on or in his checked luggage and just hope that no one would check the cheese.

Check out that wheel of cheese. Literally, he brought back a wheel of cheese. Excuse me, sir. And when he served it to us, it was like precious. Yeah. This precious cheese. I mean, they make raw cheese in America now, but this was...

But it's like specific and like, yeah, like you have to like, you know, it's like it's boutique-y kind of thing. It's a very boutique, you know, niche kind of thing. No, same thing with like their eggs. Like they don't refrigerate their eggs over there because it's done in a different kind of process. Like I think, I forget what it is. Well, I have eggs that I get from my chickens.

You don't, I don't refrigerate them. Yeah. You know, that's the first thing. I refrigerate get from my chickens. I don't refrigerate them. Yeah, you're not supposed to. I refrigerate them after a while. Yeah, you can wash them. But I think in America, I think we like – I think it's like we – I think we like hit them with super hot water. There's a different process than they have in Europe. So in general, you're not supposed to refrigerate your eggs there where in the States you are supposed to.

It's just a different process of how things are done. Yeah. The preservative thing makes a lot of sense. Yeah. The preservatives. And I think there's also different shit that's in wheat. And there's different kinds of wheat. They have heirloom wheat.

Wheat that's like older wheat before we started messing with it. Yeah. And also their cattle and things like that, it's grass-fed. Whereas in the States, it's corn fed. Right. And also I just noticed like in general out there,

like I was eating less red meat. You have a lot more chicken and a lot of pig, lots of ham, like, you know, that kind of thing. Ham is a very, like, you know,

just whether it's dried or whatever, like, you know. Yeah. Those cured legs when they just take that thin slice off the cured leg.

Mm-hmm. I'm actually going there, going back in a couple of days uh so yeah i'm gonna stay again uh you know probably not fancy because i'm going out to berlin i'm doing this thing uh it's called the people festival like out there and so i'm gonna do some like hang out with some friends i know like a good like people festival it's called the people festival i mean it's a music fest uh and i know like a good like 12 or 20 like of the acts go again Like they're like my friends and stuff and so get to like go to Berlin and I'm gonna be like the roving reporter Pretty much. I found myself. I you know something to do Yeah, it's gonna be like podcasting and so forth. There's a lot of like cool musicians doing it. So oh, that's cool

So yeah, it's a so good Like I'm kind of like fine from LA from L.A. to New York, spending the night, because I hate taking, like, super long flights, and then New York to Paris. You are a man of leisure. Yeah. And then, you know, Paris to Berlin. Look at you.

Even when you do that, you tilt your head sideways and throw your hand back. Yes. A man of leisure. Uh-huh, yes. I travel at my whim. I should have, like, a Manhattan in my hand. Like, ha-ha. Oh, shall we book you a straight flight to Europe? No, of course not. That's too much

time in the air. I like to puddle jump. I want to go to New York. I'll go to New York. Perhaps I'll shop. Perhaps I'll shop in Paris. In Paris. Go to a cafe. Maybe I'll take the channel to London just for a day trip. Just for a day trip. Just for a day trip.

I have a fantastic t-shirt shop that I love. Now, one of the things that people were in America that don't go to Paris are worried about is like people hear horror stories about the immigration nightmare in Paris. And that Paris is somehow or another turning into this criminal cesspool because of all these immigrants. And it's very dangerous there now, hence those shootings that you heard about in the... You know, it is actually one of the most ethnically diverse cities in all of, like, Europe. Like, I was actually, like, you know,

you see more, like, black people in, like, the first five minutes of being there than you do in the whole of, like, Oslo or, like, Berlin or something like that. Certainly Oslo, right Berlin or something like that. Certainly Oslo, right? Yeah. No, it's, it's, it is like kind of, it's culturally and ethnically like diverse. You know, when it comes to all this like shootings and things like that, they're guilty of being landlocked.

You know, the UK can kind of control the, you know, the flow of traffic, you know, people kind of coming in and out because they're an island nation. Whereas like with the kind of open borders that you can coming in and out, because they're an island nation. Whereas with the open borders, you can buy a gun in Greece and take the train all the way over. Especially when it comes to the old Balkans or whatever. There's a lot

of leftover Soviet era Kalashnikovs. That's why they always have these Russian-made guns and so forth. And yeah, that's what I mean. It's why they always have like these Russian-made like guns and so forth. And yeah, like that's what I mean. If it's easier for some, you know, somewhere like the UK to like lock off their borders

or at least have like, you know, whereas France, it's like I said, it's guilty of being landlocked essentially. So it's more difficult to secure. Is that the blunt force truth?

Yes. Blunt force truth. BFT, bro. And that's the BFT. Yeah, there you go. People should start using that. The BFT. That's the hashtag BFT, bitch.

BFT. Got some BFT coming your way. It's like, mmm, delicious. But the big fear, like the one thing that people were terrified of was that this was going to happen to the rest of Europe. Like what's happened to Paris and Paris has fallen apart and you can go through some of the ghetto areas in Paris. And, you know, there was a, someone filmed something where a Jewish man walked through these Muslim ghettos and they were screaming at him, all these anti-Semitic things.

Oh, geez. I have not seen that. But, you know, my neighborhood's only a couple blocks away from, like, the Jewish kind of neighborhood. It's a good spot to live. Heck yeah. It's always good to live near the Jewish folk. Heck yeah. They keep it together.

Yeah, I'm a New Yorker, so I'm like, I'm already half Jewish, you know. I was in New York recently when we were in Brooklyn, and I was with Ari, my friend Ari, who grew up Orthodox Jew. And he took us through this neighborhood where they have like the crazy frisbee fur hats on and all the curls. Yeah, the payas. And the fucking yarn hanging off their belt. Yeah. All that weird shit.

And, you know, he was basically saying, these people, they are here, but they're not here. They don't know what the fuck is going on. They have no idea who Kim Kardashian is. They don't listen to any of the music. They all stick together. They intermarry. They marry inside their community.

I was just going to say, get married young. It's so interesting seeing them all walking around the streets. Through the sheets. You know that? Some of them do, right? Isn't that Hasidic, though? Isn't that Hasidic Jews?

But yeah, there's just a whole sheet. Just throw a sheet over And they have sex through the sheets. Some of them do, right? Isn't that acidic, though? Isn't that an acidic juice? Yeah, yeah. But yeah, there's just a hole in the sheet. Yeah, so just throw a sheet over and just perfectly frame the vagina right there. I'll take care of it from here. They don't want to touch naked women, right? Is that the idea? Yeah, I think it's a modesty kind of thing. Hilarious.

Kind of like tradition. You should do that at home just for fun. Yeah. It's like, honey, why are there holes in all these sheets? Shh. Shh. Jesus wants this. Or no, not Jesus.

Someone else. God, we killed Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus was a Jew. It's okay. Yeah. It's okay. So this community that we were driving through is massive.

Yeah, I was going to say Brooklyn, like kind of in the southern kind of part. Massive community. I didn't know how big Brooklyn was. Yeah, it's big. It's fucking huge. It really is. Yeah, it's kind of like you're talking about the neighborhood that kind of like north of Red Hook,

but right there on the river. Because I walked from my place in lower Manhattan all the way down to like Red Hook like one day. How long did it take? Like maybe about an hour, an hour-ish. That's it? Yeah. I walk at a New York pace.

You must have been sprinting. Yeah, I walk at a New York pace. I'm a walker. That's how I stay so slim. If you run seven miles an hour, that's a fairly good clip. It's got to be more than seven miles. No. No, it's not.

You have to understand, the whole of Manhattan is, I think it's like 14 miles, something like that. It's a 14 by four and I'm already living like in the Southern part. So yeah, yeah. It's probably, I don't know, like about three, three miles. Yeah. About three miles. I walk in about three to four miles an hour. One of the guys that was there with us, uh, the guy who was driving us was telling us

how Brooklyn is just overwhelmed with building, construction, apartment buildings now. And everyone's moving out of Manhattan and into Brooklyn. Yeah. Because the thing about Manhattan is that it's finite. Right. So the only way – like, yeah, you can build upwards, but you can only do that so much. And so a lot of people are getting displaced. Like, you have to have enough money just to stay on the island of Manhattan.

And even people like that are getting displaced. Then, they it's brooklyn queens etc hoboken the people that i know that live in manhattan always have this thought in their head that one day they might live in la yeah even bourdain was saying ah sometimes i think about it i think about the weather and i know there's a lot of good things about la a lot of nice places la i lived here for the better part of eight years like in in my early 20s and stuff. And it's, you know, I mean, it makes you soft. I mean, like it. Does it?

Yeah. I think just like with the weather and things like that. And it's also like, yeah, the leisurely kind of like kind of thing. Like there's not a lot of drinking. It's a lot more smoking weed just because like everyone has to drive, you know, so nobody like, you know, so everyone just like, and it went by so fast because there's no seasons. Right. It's all the same.

So I blinked and it was like, wait, I've been living out here for five years. Because I'm from New York. It's like we have... Summer, winter, winter's long. It's one of the few major cities where you have a hundred degree weather shift in one year. It can be a hundred degrees

and later that year it can be zero degrees. Yeah, that's true. That's interesting. So it's kind of a harsh kind of climate a little bit, and the summers there suck because it's just the humidity. It just sticks to you, and it's smelly. I'm not a huge fan of New York in the summer. Yeah, it gets very piss-like.

Yes, yes. It sticks to your hair. I've never lived in the city though I might have missed my shot Because now I'm married And kids and the whole deal And a stand up comedian It's a lot of

The only thing that could possibly make me live there Is that I could do stand up there very easily Yeah There's a lot of comedy clubs I think the island of Manhattan only has Like six of them technically What I think it's like five or six Six what

Comedy clubs I could name five or six Yeah There's gotta be more than that I don't know Like it's cause I have a buddy Who There's the stand

The cellar has two clubs There's Dangerfields There's Caroline's There's Eastville Comedy Club There's There's gotta be more than that I know

my buddy opened up one in like 2010 oh Gotham we're already at seven yeah well he opened up one like in about like 2010

or something like that and he was talking about he goes actually there's not a shit ton you already said it yeah yeah I saw that that's what I mean

he was actually he said like yeah he goes when I opened it up there was only like six you know like he was like the seventh one or something that It's surprising at least on the island of Manhattan itself. There's not as many comedy clubs as you'd think you know You know even though it's a Mecca you know turn of the century night the 19th to the 18th to the 19th to 20th century

There was a thousand or close to a thousand billiard halls in Manhattan. Oh, geez. That's what men did before video games. Pretty much. When men didn't want to have families, the bachelor of life, they would live in these pool halls. I'm going to play billiards. Yeah, they would gamble. In a smoky pool hall.

I used to play a lot of pool. Went back to the Lovett's voice. Picasso. I'm Picasso yeah there's actually not a lot of billiard clubs there anymore looking at you I mean I'm saying they do exist but like getting you know there's like only us like I hand a smattering of them there's bowling alleys like this only is like a few bowling yeah yeah I think even like Bowmore moved, that kind of thing. That was the trendy spot. Those are going to be like croquet someday.

Yeah. All the bygone. We'll play some badminton. Yeah. Forgotten era games. Yeah. Let's play some squash. But are you enjoying it out here now?

Yeah. I mean, I have a good life out here. I have a really pretty little family. I've got a pretty girl, pretty dog, pretty cat, and all that stuff. Everything's good? Yeah, we're going to move. We're going to do a house thing and all that kind of stuff. Oh, you're going to get a house together.

Yeah, well, she is, and I'm just going to hitch a ride. Nice. Do you have to chip in, or do you just ride up? No, it's on her. She was already looking. So I think she's in escrow right right now essentially it just started like today but if it goes south she could just fucking boot you out just get yep yep just looking what did you do i get my stuff yeah uh yeah i have my place in new york too i bought i bought like in like the 90s

so okay smart i'm doing okay yeah yeah but but a proper loft like i i said i had big syndrome i saw the movie big and i'm like, that's what I want. So like an elevator opens up to like a big room and like, you know, yeah. Like I have more mannequins than like you would like think. Like we used to have an American Apparel downstairs and I was walking like out one day and there was just a pile of mannequin parts. And I was like, oh my God, look at these. Like, you know, and then I told,

I told my super like, you know, cause it's in the same kind of building complex. I said, listen, if they're ever to get rid of like any mannequin things, like tell them to come to me first. What the fuck do you do with these mannequins?

They closed down and like, yeah, like I got like, I have so many mannequins. It's ridiculous. Just these mannequin parts. I have no idea what to do with them either. I know I give them away.

Like it's like presents. Like here's a leg. Well, you were talking about all the different little cars that you bought. Yeah, a bunch of, again, every time I go to the pharmacy, I have to buy a toy car. And now it's like, but I try not to double up on things. So it's like only one ambulance. Only one

fire truck. Only one Corvette. Yeah, and it's like, now it's getting ridiculous. But for some reason, I hoard things and I collect things. And at the same time I'll figure out what this is for. I'll do something with those mannequins at some point. Those are going to pay off.

I swear. That's the kind of shit that drives women crazy. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to say, invest in mannequins. It's a growth industry. There's a high ceiling on mannequins. I'm telling you, kids. You think that's a freedom thing where you can do whatever you want? So you're like, fuck it, I'm just going to buy a mannequin.

Yeah, yeah. And then when they closed down, it was like, yeah, I got like 20 mannequins. Did you get them for free or did you have to buy them? No, so they were going to sell them. And it was something like, oh, we have like 16 of them. We'll sell them to you for $500. And I said, listen, I said, I could do that. Or I could pay you, or I can give you $200 for them and then give you $200.

Because the place is closing down. So the store gets the $200, but then there's another $200 in your pocket kind of thing. Because the store is closing down anyway. Look at you, you bargainer. Well, because they're not going to, like, they don't have a job starting next week. So they really don't care. So I got him for cheaper, like, just by pretty much bribing the dude. You should have offered him a drawing.

I know. A little sketch. I am Picasso. Look at that, fella. In your face. Well, listen, man, it was great meeting you. Yeah, it's great meeting you, too. I had a good time. This was really fun. Yeah, this was a lot of fun. And you're an interesting guy, man.

Oh, thanks. You're very healthy for a guy who's gotten through what you've gotten through. Oh, yeah. Like I said, it wasn't too traumatic. You did it. You nailed it. I did it. Yay. One more time, your website for people? It's bunnyears.com. And the podcast? It's bunnyearspod.

You can get it anywhere podcasts are done. So like whatever, the iTunes or whatever, all those things. They're listening to this, they know where to get a podcast. Yeah, my podcasting partner

takes care of that. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, that's like, go check out our website, go check our Facebook, yada, yada, yada. And say hi to you at the Human Fest.

Yeah, People Fest. People Fest in Berlin. Yeah, I'm going to be there. Beautiful. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot, my friend.