The Joe Rogan Experience - #1199 - Tom Segura & Sean Anders

Episode Date: November 12, 2018

Tom Segura is a stand-up comedian, and hosts his own podcast with his wife, Christina P called "Your Mom’s House" available on Spotify. Sean Anders is a writer and director, and his new movie "Instant Family" premieres November 16 in theaters.

God, I didn't realize how good your hair is. Thanks. I'm losing it, but what's left of it is still working. Boom. And we're live. Gentlemen. Hello, Sean. Hey, how are you?

Hello, Tom. Hello, Joseph. You guys did a movie? Did you make a movie? We made a movie. We did. You guys do movies? We do.

We're movie guys. How many movies have you made? One. Well, but you've made, how many have you made before? Like six, but we've made one. We you made before like six but we've made one we've made one what's your favorite one other than the one

that's right now which is definitely your favorite because you're promoting it right now Sex Drive Sex Drive which one was that

it's the one nobody knows about yeah it's his first one nobody knows about it I mean it just it was one of those movies that just opened

and nobody knew about it but it was a really really fun movie maybe we could change that on iTunes or Netflix yeah yeah it's all overames marston's in it this is the one is this the one that you like when you made it you're like and maybe i'll go back to work in fucking construction yeah yeah yeah so i thought i thought it was over after that did you finance it or anything no no we made it um we made it with Summit Pictures. And it was it was

it was amazing. They, they, we were in town trying to get a career going, you know, trying to trying to make things happen. We were making a TV pilot at the time, which was a living hell. And, and we had gone out and pitched this idea to a bunch of places and nobody bought it. So then in the middle of our editing our pilot, Summit Pictures called and said, we keep thinking about that pitch. Would you guys be willing to write it? And I said, you know what, tell them. I was really busy.

I said, tell them we'll write it if I can direct it. But I figured that would make them go away. And they said, all right. And so we went in and we wrote it. We turned it in and they greenlit it. It was this crazy process where we got this movie greenlit, and I think we wrote the draft in like a month, and then we turned it in, and they loved it.

What's it about? It's a teen road trip movie. It's about these kids that – it was kind of in the early days of Facebook and all that stuff, and it might have even been – I don't know. I can never track the – it might have even been sort of MySpace into Facebook, that era. But it was about a kid who meets a girl online and goes to lose his virginity on a road trip.

It's funny. Oh, shit. It is funny. Yeah, Marsden's in it. James Marsden. He's really funny. Clark Duke. Yeah, I had a good cast.

There it is. Yeah. Wow, good. Bam. But it was a really great experience. It was really fun. And then we tested it. We did the test screenings, and it just murdered.

And the studio got really excited, and I thought, oh, my God, I'm going to have a huge career. And the movie came out, and it didn't do any business at all. It was like, okay, I'm going to go back to Wisconsin and not have a career at all. Is it true that Instant Family, you hired Tom because Bert Kreischer wasn't available? Yes. God damn it. Don't tell me that, man. That's what I heard.

Well, and he was asking for a lot of money, a lot more than Bert is. He's like, whatever Mark gets, I want double. I want double. And then they were like, we can't do it. I want double. I want double. And then they were like, we can't do it. So this movie is based in no small part on your own life experiences.

It is. Of adopting an actual, you adopted like a full family. Three human children, yeah. Wow. That's wild. That's a bold maneuver, sir. Yeah. What were the ages? Six, three, and a year and a half, sir. Yeah. What were the ages?

Six, three, and a year and a half. Wow. Yeah. What was the process? Well, it starts, and this is how it starts in the movie as well. My wife and I, for years, I wasn't making any money, including after I made Sex Drive. And so I didn't really feel like I could afford to have kids. So whenever we'd talk about it, I'd just be like, you know, not there yet. And, uh, and then finally, um, when I felt like I was doing better, I was starting to

get a career together. I just started to feel like I was going to be one of those old dads, you know, like by the time the kid was a teenager, I wasn't going to be able to play with them. How old are you now? I'm 49 now. I was 41 at the time. And, uh, so God, is that right? Oh man, it's depressing. Anyway. Uh, so I, I, uh, I made this dumb joke to my wife. I said, look, why don't we

just adopt a five-year-old? It'll be like, I got started five years ago and I'm like, I'm right back in the game. And she was like, you know, that's actually a really interesting idea. And I was like, no, I'm, I was totally kidding. Didn't mean anything by that at all. And then she went to a website, and she showed me the website. And then when I saw the website, I was like, oh, wow, you see these kids. You see their faces. You start to learn a little bit more about it. And we just started having conversations, and it went from there.

Now I've got three kids and a movie. And they're all siblings. Yes. So they all came from one mom, and how did they get separated from the family? I don't have a lot of details about that. They don't really tell you. Right. You know a little bit, but not much.

I mean, I know that there were issues with drugs, and I think there was some kind of a fire at some point. But it's all pretty sketchy as far as what you hear so you learn a lot about the kids themselves but not that much about the situation and what what made you want to turn this into a film like I would imagine that's a very personal experience yeah um it was actually my writing partner John Morris because I had been about three years into it at that point. And the beginning of it was a nightmare, like epic, bad decision. Why did we ever do this? Yeah, it was really a nightmare for a short time.

And then when it came online and we became a family, it really became the best thing that ever happened to me. And, you know, when John and I get together every day, we just talk about our lives a little bit. That's how we get started. So John had been hearing all these stories. And one day he just said, I don't know why we're not doing a movie about this because nobody really knows how this works when you go into foster care and adopt kids. So we started talking about it. And then there was the conversation of whether it could be a comedy or not, because that's what we do. We make comedies. And John, again, was like, it could be a comedy or not because that's what we do we make comedies and john again was like most of the stuff you've told me is really funny so not all of it of course but that's and then we thought wow you know we could approach this as a comedy and we might be able to get you know a more

general audience to get their their interest in it that way because it'll feel less scary because that's the problem is that most movies that are made on this topic just frighten people and they make people think that these kids are all are all damaged and right reachable right thing you know do you worry that it'd be like that movie 101 dalmatians that a bunch of people start getting foster kids now and just screw them up yeah we well we were talking about top gun about how you know remember when top gun came out and everybody joined the navy thinking they were going to fly the planes? Right, right. Well, when The Color of Money came out, pool halls boomed across the country.

It made a giant impact on pool halls from that one Tom Cruise movie. And they just, really, a lot of people just got scammed out of their fucking pocket money, basically. Sure, I'm sure there was some of that going on. I'm sure there was some of that going on I think the crazy thing about this too was that on the set you realize when we're doing this you go like oh yeah I always thought of people who do that like you know they exist

but you're like those are nameless faceless angels like they're not real people you know like if you were like do any of your friends at top I'd be like no I don't have friends like that like those are other people you know and then you start like on the set there was you know people visiting or consulting and there would be like, no, I don't have friends like that. Like, those are other people. And then you start, like, on the set, there was people visiting or consulting, and there would be like, oh, you know, they adopted or they run some foster care thing. And then you're like, oh, this is actually something that people really do.

Well, even, like, dudes on the crew, that somebody would come up, you know, who's in the electrical department and be like, oh, hey, bro, I adopted two kids, by the way. You'd be like, really? Wow. Or, hey, I got adopted when I was four years old. You just would, like, once it's out there. Now you see it now everywhere. People are hitting me up.

Someone hit me up yesterday. They're like, my sister is adopting four siblings this week. Wow. Yeah. That's nuts. I mean, it's like, it's almost like when your friend gets a car and then you start seeing it everywhere. And you're like, oh, yeah, there's that car.

It is exactly like that, though. We talked about that video that went around online of this little girl that realized that she's opening up a box and there's something in it that tells her that she's been adopted by these two people that are with her. And it's impossible to not cry. Yeah. yeah i mean if you have any heart at all and you watch that little girl freak out and it's it breaks you up i think that's almost the test as far as what you were talking about about how because believe me i test if you're a piece of shit or not when you watch that yeah yeah we should show that to a lot of people yeah yeah what's your reaction oh you're a piece of shit. You're a sociopath.

But no, I mean, there's that, what you were just getting at as far as, believe me, I'm not that guy that, like, I didn't feel special or like any one of those sort of heart of gold angels. You know, we have the line that's in the movie where Mark just says, that's for the kind of people that volunteer when it's not even a holiday. And we don't do that. Yeah, you should probably tell the audience that I'm not starring in this movie right now.

Oh, you're starring in it? No, people are like, so Tom stars? No, it's just Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne. You're starring in the movie for like four and a half minutes. There you go. And then Mark Wahlberg stars in the rest of it. That's true. That's a good way of breaking it down.

Well, the movie's only probably like 90 minutes. Yeah. So that's pretty good. That's not bad. We'll have probably like seven scenes. That's good scenes, though. Yeah, they're good scenes. Now you've got a solid presence.

You didn't make the poster. Didn't make the poster. Didn't make the poster. No. You know, you made the standee, though. Did you know that? The what? There's a standee in movie theaters, and you're in that.

Oh, really? Yeah. All right. I'll take that. I never heard that word, standee. Standee. Those are the big cardboard things. I never knew what those things were called. I didn't know that either. Cardboard cutout thing. That's what I always call it, standee. Standee. Those are the big cardboard things. I never knew what those things were called.

I didn't know that either. Cardboard cutout thing. That's what I always call it, cardboard cutout. Standee is the real term. Is that the term in the industry? Oh, yeah. That's an industry term. That's a real industry term.

You learned something today. Yeah. Wait. So you, because you were telling me this, and I was like, he was about to tell me before you came in. I was like, this sounds like this could be pretty good. Don't tell me. save it for the podcast that because he's done that this is the most press Sean's done for a film that he's put out that did you go under they were like

let's give you some advice on media yeah well first of all I'm terrible at it so there's that because I don't do this is the thing when you direct a movie especially movies like the kind of movies that I make comedies and you know broad comedies, people don't really care who directed those movies. And I'm good with that. I'm totally good with that. But what usually happens is the studio, the director usually wants to be kind of a part of the campaign. So the studio will find, they'll sort of throw bones at you of press that you can do. And I always tell them, look, if I can be helpful in any way, let me know know i'll do whatever you need me to do but don't throw many bones because i don't care

right i don't need i don't need to do that to kind of just pump up the ego of the director that certain directors just really want to be the next quentin tarrant yeah yeah i can't i can't imagine there's some directors they really have to do it for well i mean i get it they don't want you to feel left out or whatever but my first couple movies I thought oh I have to do this stuff and then I realized I actually had this experience where I was in this red carpet thing and they brought me up to this reporter and they said this is Sean Anders he directed the movie and she had this big look on her face and then she went like and she's and I was like no no it's cool you don't have to you don't have to so disappointed she was so disappointed and that's when it sunk into me

where i was just like oh they don't care they don't give it so that's that's fine with me i'm good there well there's such fame whores and those they are those red carpet things they're so weird yeah those things are so weird and some people that is the highlight of their life walking that carpet yeah i can't, Tom. Get your pose down right. It's a really weird thing. Also, paparazzi at the airport. You have that where I've seen them where I'm at baggage

and they're looking around and then they're like, hey, Tom. And they'll ask me like one thing and they're like, they're obviously not there for me, but they're like, they're like,

we got time till fucking whatever. Seth Rogen gets off the plane. So let me ask you something one thing and they're like, they're obviously not there for me, but they're like, they're like, we got time till fucking whatever Seth Rogen gets off the plane. So let me ask you something. And then they're like, all right, nevermind. Here's everybody. Like just blow you off. I had it happen only one time. Cause this obviously doesn't happen to me.

I was flying into LAX and I was getting off a red eye and I was so just tired. I looked like shit. And that, and this guy, these two guys come up and they just were so nice. They were like, hey, you're Sean Anders, right? And I was like, yeah, yes I am Sean Anders. Nobody ever, you know. And so it takes me a second to realize and I thought it was so weird because they were

it was right after, it was shortly after Daddy's Home and that was like the biggest hit. And they were asking me about Horrible Bosses 2 and I was like, why are they asking me about, of all things and I thought, oh, because Jennifer Aniston's in it. So they want me to say something about Jennifer Aniston and just see if they can catch me saying something crazy. Right.

Looking for a soundbite slip or something. That's all they try to do. Yeah. It was the worst. It's weird. And my wife is like, what was that? I'm like, it took me like an hour to sort of unpack it. They were trying to make you clickbait.

It's nuts. Yeah. Like, what was that? I'm like, it took me like an hour to sort of unpack it. They were trying to make you clickbait. It's nuts. Well, what's interesting, too, is it's like sort of an impromptu interview that you have to do. Right? Like if someone said, hey, this is a guy. His name is Mike. He lives in Studio City. He wants you to go to his house, and he's going to film you.

He's going to ask you wacky questions. You're like, no. Yeah. But if Mike just shows up at the baggage claim and puts that camera in your face hey sean uh jennifer aniston man what's up with the botox and then you're like what yeah fuck right you know i mean that's how they get like you wouldn't do an interview with them under any other circumstances which is one of like one of the weird things that happened during the roseanne barr things roseanne barr when her show was canceled and all the controversy was going on, she was supposed to do the podcast.

And it became a big news thing. Right. Because she put it on her Twitter that I'm going to do it. And we talked about it. And then they tried to show up at the podcast studio. So they had all these news people standing outside the podcast studio with their microphones. We're out in front of where Joe Rogan does his podcast. studio with their microphones.

We're out in front of where Joe Rogan does his podcast, and they thought for some reason just because they're there, people have to talk to them. Right. I'm here. Talk to me. They're made out of milk. They're barely human. The way they talk is the most boring version of an interview you'd ever get ever. It's a tiny, quick little sound bite, but they feel like because they're there,

like the camera's on, I've got the microphone. Come on, do it. If they said, hey, you know, KW, fuck yourself, wants you to come in and sit down for an interview, you'd be like, no, I don't want to talk to them. I don't have anything to say. Like, I'll do all my talking on the podcast. Yeah.

Well, but, and also if you're, I mean, I'm in the business, but again, I'm not somebody that does a tremendous amount of press or, or at least not until a couple of weeks ago. And if you're not accustomed to that, it's terrifying. It's weird.

Because somebody puts a camera in your face. Cause immediately you're thinking like, well, if I just go, you know what, man, fuck you. Like,

I don't have time for that. Yeah. Then you're going to, so you just think like, I can't even walk away from this. So you're just like, you're all of a sudden somebody threw a cage over you and they're not even asking you can i do this they're just doing it they're just hey sean yeah let me ask you a question sean you know it's forced it's forced on you yeah but it puts you

in a weird spot it's like all of a sudden you're in you're you're on your on your heels yeah because your instinct is to be defensive if someone could so you're you know i mean your instinct is not going to be i'll give the most thoughtful answer to this because it's it's it's in the moment someone just dropped it on you so now you're like okay and your your emotions might be kind of all over the place and you're not you're not stopping to like like having a conversation you're just sort of trying to figure your way out of it. And how many people have ruined their careers or lives on those things? Just said, just fucked up and said one, they're just trying to be funny or just. That's the thing because they'll misquote you. Irritated and then they get you and then they put it up and you're like, fuck, why didn't I think through that?

I was just, I was coming home from the airport. I was tired. I was jet lagged. Bourdain got a shitload of death threats because he said, they asked him, if you had to serve dinner to Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump, what would you serve? He said, hemlock. He's trying to be funny. Yeah. And then all these MAGA fucking morons, protesters, they were all sending these tweets like POTUS.

He's threatening POTUS. It was so strange. Like, where is the secret service? They should lock this motherfucker up. And like, you guys are crazy. It's a joke. And that's the thing right there is that clickbait articles, they all make it. It'll say like, so-and-so said this.

And they make it sound like somebody called a press conference to say something ridiculous. And really, it was like you said, it'll be some offhand remark. And then people out there that are judging, they never have anybody walk up and put a camera in their face. And they just think, well, I would never say anything like that. It's like, you don't know what you would say. You're never in that situation. It's bizarre. It's very bizarre.

Yeah, it's super bizarre. So how many of these things did you have to do to promote this film? Because this film is based in a large part of it, on your actual life experiences of adopting these kids. How many of these things did you have to wind up doing? A lot. Because we did our press junket in New York. And I've done junkets. And usually I do like six or seven or 15 or whatever I did in two days.

I did like 90, 95. So do the same questions keep coming at you over and over again and you start developing these canned responses? Well, that's the thing you have to, and this is a mistake and this gets back to what you were getting at before is that when I would do press on my movies in the past, I'd go to the junket and people would come in and they'd ask you more or less the same questions. And I always felt weird because I just felt like, no, I just want to have a conversation with you. I don't want to be like this

disingenuous guy. And then I would be sort of changing up my answers and trying to kind of... It essentially just made it boring and I wasn't really making any kind of a point whatsoever. So on this one, they were like, look, you've got a message with this movie. You've got things you want got a message with this movie you've got things

you want to get out with this movie you've got to learn how to do this so I went to like a day of media training and it was no you didn't

I did I did and it was and the worst part was I've done interviews and I've been fine before but I got this guy sitting across from me

who's interviewing me doing this mock interview and then I've got the publicist and I got this guy sitting across from me who's interviewing me doing this mock interview. And then I've got the publicist and my writing partner, and they're just staring at me. And now all of a sudden I can't do it at all. The pressure's there. Who's teaching you? Who's teaching this media training? Were they right away like, you kind of suck at this show?

Yeah, they were. They absolutely were. I mean, they were really nice about it. They were like, okay, all right. Well, there's some room for improvement here. Oh, my God, really? Oh, yeah. No, it was the worst. You seem like a natural.

I mean, what is there to teach you? Well, no, this is the thing. I'm really comfortable with this, with us just hanging out here talking. Sure. But this is what I do is I yammer. I'm a nervous talker. So you ask me a question, and if I'm nervous, I just kind of go and go I'm, I'm a nervous talker. So you asked me a question. If I'm nervous, I just kind of go and go and go.

And people are like, Jesus, you know, man, that guy can talk, man. So the thing is, I got this guy sitting across me,

really nice guy. And he's the guy who's coaching me, but I know I'm going to get in trouble. Does he give you like fake interviews? Well, he, how they coach you? First, he gave me a lot of really good insights.

And the funny thing is every rule that he's saying, as he's saying it, I'm going, oh, yeah, I do that. Oh, yeah. Like everything he's saying that I shouldn't be doing, I'm like, oh, yeah, I always do that. What is he saying you shouldn't be doing? I mean that the main thing – it's kind of like what we were getting at before, that when somebody is setting a trap for you. The main thing, it's kind of like what we were getting at before, that when somebody's setting a trap for you, because so much of right now media training is just about don't go out and get yourself into trouble by going in and just talking about some ridiculous area. Because that's what people, that's what everybody's trying to do now. Just as a for example, I did a Time Magazine interview about adoption about a year before we even made the movie.

Really? Yeah. And it was just because I was in the process of working on the movie. And anyway, so the whole thing was just about adoption and my family and whatever. And it was right when the Harvey Weinstein stuff was blowing up. So the lady's really nice. And then at the end she says, hey, you know, since I'm talking to a Hollywood director, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask, did you know about that Harvey Weinstein stuff? And I was like, no. And I mean,

and I didn't even think about my answer because I don't, you know, I didn't know the guy was never around any of it. That's sort of like more like fancy movies. And I was like, yeah, no, I don't, I don't know. I never met the guy or whatever. I didn't think anything of it. I got off the phone and then I thought, oh, she didn't say, what do you think about this stuff? She said, did you know about that stuff? it was like and yeah i knew but i kept it a secret yeah fuck those people and i just thought right away yeah i i just you know wow yeah it's it's sneaky

that's a sneaky way of asking it's a sneaky way to get you too yeah did you know yeah yeah did you know well if you don't enter has kept his secret for years and i'm such a dumb shit i would have like you said before i think i think a year or two ago i might have made a joke you know and been like oh yeah i was there you know and like i would have said something see that's what they'll print yeah sean was there yeah and then i'd be like what i've never you know yeah so, you know, a lot of it is just, just to kind of teach you how to just sort of stay on point so that you don't get dragged down these weird roads into these things that just, that people are looking to get you in on clickbait.

So did you bring up that instance when you went through the training? Oh yeah. Did you say, what should I have said? I think I did. I think, and really what they, what they teach you, it's funny because believe it or not, he said, I'm going to show you some clips of, you know, sort of doing it right and doing it wrong. Oh, they have disaster clips they saved? They do. And one of them, the funny thing was... Do you have a file that you sent to Jamie

before the show? Well, you guys will probably all know this one. They showed me a clip of Quentin Tarantino sort of like getting really angry with this reporter. I remember that. Was that the violent thing? Yeah. I thought it was kind of great. Did he threaten to kick some guy's ass?

That lady was like, your films are disgusting and violent. And he was like, yeah, they're fucking movies, dummy. Like he gets really upset about it. Where was this? Actually, I don't know if it's the same one because the one that I saw was a guy. Oh, I saw one with a lady. But that was via sat. Oh, okay.

So this is a different one then. There was one with a guy who's threatening to kick the guy's ass. The one that I saw didn't go that far, but I actually kind of liked what he did because he was like, no, I'm not playing that game with you. I'm not doing it. He got all pissed off. But I was sort of like, eh, you know. I like that he does that.

Yeah. I mean, I like the one with the lady. The lady is like, your movies are so violent and awful. And he's like's like a movie a make-believe thing it's not real violence like he really sasses her it's funny as shit and then i also where is she where was she it was like she was doing you know she was she was like good morning pittsburgh like the entertainment reporter and then he was actually probably doing like satellite stuff everywhere and he was just like, you're dumb. But I also saw, there's that guy, he's a gotcha guy too, did Robert Downey Jr. It was like promoting a movie too.

I don't know if they showed you that one. Oh, I saw that one. Right? And the guy's like, no, you're drug addiction. He was like, wait, what? It was totally to try to get him to, in a moment. And Robert Downey Jr. is not having it. He's like, I'm here to promote a movie.

This has nothing to do with that. Totally. Is that what he said? But let's get into your drug addiction. Yeah. During your darkest times. What are you talking about, man? Iron Man's out.

I'm not here for that. Well, it's just like. He ends it too. They're so selfish. That thing is so. Doing shit like that is so selfish. It's such a sneaky little thing to do. Yeah he ends it too they're so selfish like that thing is so doing shit like that is so selfish it's such a sneaky little thing to do yeah they know what did they teach you though like in that moment of like quentin they're just like don't don't get emotional

well it's like don't take the bait and and more than anything for me because i look i'm from wisconsin and i still have that kind of everybody's nice, everybody has good intentions kind of vibe. And I had this experience on my very first movie where I talked to this reporter because it was a movie about – it was a road trip. It's just a silly road trip comedy. And I talked to this reporter and he says – and he was just being really cool. We were just kind of hanging out after this thing talking and he's like so and gas prices were really high and he goes so yeah you know he's like you feel weird about making a road trip movie when gas prices are so high and i and i said like yeah i don't know i you know maybe if the movie tanks i can just blame it on that no one could afford to go to the theater because the prices were so high and i don't think and then this article comes out that just the guy literally said i was swarthy

looking and it just he just painted me like an absolute piece of shit wow and i was like that guy was so cool like he was like we were so nice talking and then he just destroyed me i've been there yeah i'm sure you guys yeah it's all new to me i remember one too that like who did it to me like when i was just doing phone like a phone interview for press before i was selling any tickets. And the guy was like just like a really nice guy and totally twisted things and made it seem like just like he knows what I was saying. And he purposely twisted things around. And then it had real no impact.

But I remember reading that and being like, oh, fuck this guy. And be careful when you talk to these people because he totally – he knows what I was trying to say. And I read this article. It was like he misrepresented everything. Well, that's the only way they can have fun. Yeah. And that's the only – I mean if you're just a normal guy and you give normal answers and you're thoughtful and considerate, that's not as good for them. Right. It's boring to them. Yeah. So they'll twist it around. Well, it's not as profitable. Right. It's more

profitable, especially if it's an online thing. With an online thing, you need a clickbait title. You need a bunch of people clicking on that thing because otherwise you're not going to get any ad revenue for it. Yeah. It's a very bizarre model where it's encouraging people to be deceptive and to make these things inflammatory.

And I got to say, I mean, look, I did, like I said, I did 90, 95 interviews in the course of two days and virtually everybody was really cool, really asking really thoughtful, interesting questions. So I don't want to make it sound like I'm ripping on the whole press over this, but yeah, there are these people. And that's the thing is that if it was every single person that came along, it would almost be easier because you could just kind of be like, OK, here we go. But you get like 30 really good reporters with integrity and good people. And then somebody jumps in and you're like, oh.

And then they catch you not looking because you're not looking for that guy. They also get super jaded. It's almost like cops that have arrested too many people. Everyone's a crook. They just think that everybody they're interviewing is a piece of shit. And it's also like they're interviewing these Hollywood people. They're thinking of you. You got a big mansion, driving a Mercedes.

You got all this money. Fuck this guy. It's like this instant take on it. Oh, a Hollywood director. That's great. How's your casting couch? You piece of shit. Yeah, it's true.

It's true. And it becomes the game, I think, too, for them. The game is like, let's see if I can get one. And we should be real clear. This is not most people. Most people are nice. Yeah. But it's just like one, even if it's only one out of ten, you run into that one, you're

like, fuck these things. I don't want to do these things anymore. No, it's terrifying because you think about your family your friends like anybody who's gonna because now there there is this and i don't know i know you guys talk about this a lot there is this culture out there where people are completely reduced to like one moment or one statement or whatever it is and that's all you are is that whatever that thing that that happened in that one moment and and you know you see it happening to people all the time and you think about so so when you're there and you feel like you're just a regular guy you don't feel like you know that

it's really scary because you think about your kids and you think you know it's so it's a it's a scary situation yeah yeah well it's a weird time for these publications, too. That's another thing to take into consideration. No one's really buying magazines and newspapers like they used to. It's hard to sell. And so they're reduced to these online publications, and they have to compete with a bunch of these clickbaity bullshit things, and that's where the money is. I mean, even in New York Times, man, the New York Times is resulting to a lot of clickbaity shit now and you're like wow well do you guys have that feeling like when you're online that you're on like a clickbait diet where you see things where you're like oh man i totally want to eat that right now but like i'm not i'm not gonna do that

let me look at the ingredients yeah open it up oh it's so sweet yeah you click on it you're like you learn to navigate it now. Right. You go, you read that title and you're like, I know this will have no substance. Yeah. Well,

just the headline. I'm fascinated to see where this goes because this didn't exist. Right. The, these online clickbaity things didn't exist 20 years ago and now they're everywhere. Yeah. It's like,

what, what's going to happen in 10 years? Like, where is it going to be? Like, where, where is this going? Yeah.

I'm very fascinated. You know, very fascinated to see. Because it feels like a transitional time. It doesn't feel like it can hold out like this forever. That's true. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Because it hurts. I mean, and this is the reason why I think podcast culture is coming on strong.

Because it's a place where people just talk and have a conversation. And I think that fear of slipping up and people always like out there trying to get you to slip up or whatever has people not having as much of a free exchange of ideas yeah but through these podcasts one thing that does happen is people will take a very small clip out of context right and then write a whole article about that small clip with a big clickbaity headline like Tom Segura shits all over people in Somalia. And then whatever it is. Did you do that?

No. I mean not yet. It was a different city. I just made something up. But then it could be completely out of context. Yeah. context yeah and and over you know a giant overall discussion of a top of a topic that took place over 45 minutes and they'll take 30 seconds of that and put a youtube clip up and then you get a bunch of angry people that's true that's true but the other the flip side of it is that i feel

like in this time we're developing more of an audience that is quick to call that shit out so like while there are going to be people that take the bait and be like, what is it, and get angry, there's a bunch of people who are really quick to recognize that that's taken out of context. Well, it's because people like you and I and a lot of other people that do podcasts talk about that all the time. So people hear it all the time, and they see the examples of it, and they go, wow, that's crazy.

Some of it is so egregious. You're a piece of shit. Someone should pull your license. If you were a doctor, they'd pull your fucking license. As a journalist, there's a lot of wiggle room with being a piece of shit. Yeah, there is. Yeah. I use the word journalist, air quotes.

The podcast, this medium is just going to grow. And people are embracing more of this long form conversation, you know, and understanding things by talking about it for a while. are just as hurt by this stuff as everyone because the people that are really out there being thoughtful, really researching their material, really talking to people, getting to the bottom of things, that whole journalistic work ethic that we all grew up hearing about, those people are just as threatened by this cheap sort of attack journalism that happens because they can't even compete with it with a really thoughtful, well-researched story.

And then somebody's like, he touched a boob. And then there's like, they get all the clicks, you know? I was talking to Matt Taibbi, who's a real journalist. And Matt Taibbi was discussing the pieces that he wrote on Wall Street and the crash of 2008 and all of the fucking shenanigans that went on with that and how much just crazy shit they're allowed to do and what they can't what a Ponzi scheme a lot of that 2008 crash was and you when I was talking to him I realized like he had put a year into research yeah learning like he did not come from a

background in finance so he put a year into researching all the aspects of the savings and loan crisis, all the aspects of this mortgage crisis and how it took place and how they were making money off of this and how they were

betting on things falling apart and moving money around and how fucking chaotic it is and how crazy it is. And then you think of how much time put on that and then in proportion how few people actually read that and how little it affected the actual economy itself, like how little things changed and how little people were outraged. Like his article, I don't know if you ever read the Rolling Stone piece on it.

Fucking amazing. But you don't- He worked on that for- Forever. Yeah. Yeah. But you don't hear that much about it. Right.

You know what I mean? It's like those people never went to jail. Billions of dollars just disappeared. It all got moved around and everybody abracadabra and they moved the cape. Ta-da. And then it moves on. It all got moved around and everybody abracadabra and they moved the cape. Ha! Yeah. Ta-da! And then it moves on. And he details it in this amazing way. And you realize, like, wow, how many of those guys are left?

How many of those real journalists are left? Right. And this is a – I mean, you have to invest in something like that. I mean, he's putting a year into just researching what this is all about. It's fucking insane. I mean, and then instead, you know, it's like Kim Kardashian got her butt done again. Boom. Boom.

50 times more people are paying attention to that. Well, let me ask you this, because I think in a weird way, this weird time that we're in right now could actually be the rebirth of that kind of journalism that you're talking about. Because I know that, that when, when everything was getting kind of crazy and people were, you know, we were talking about all this, I did subscribe to some, you know, like the online version of some papers. Cause I thought, ah, I do want to support people that are actually, you know, people with integrity that are out there chasing stories and informing the world, you know, and helping us out. Also, they fuck you over if you don't do it.

You can't read like 10 New York Times articles and they cut you off. You're like, oh, you bitch. No, you have to subscribe. You have to subscribe. Yeah. Good for you, though. You know, I mean, you kind of have have to I wish it was a little easier to do though and set it up with

Apple one click or some shit yeah I think it is now it's kind of a pain I don't get that why I subscribe to a few of them and if I go to the app obviously everything's fine but if I try to read it through another link it's like ah you already I'm like but I'm a subscriber

I don't know it It's kind of annoying. Yeah, yeah, because then you've got to jump into the app and then find the story again and that kind of stuff. But I get it. I mean, they have to figure out some way to generate a revenue. And this whole, these last two years have been huge for the subscriptions on those. I mean, like grown by millions. You know, as print paper has gone down, those online subscriptions have gone way, way up.

Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely. So they're profitable. Definitely. Definitely. I mean, I just saw that whoever the editor-in-chief of the New York Times was doing an interview about, like, their recent subscription model.

It was impressive. I mean, it really went high. like their recent subscription model, it was impressive. I mean, it really went high. Well, if you do good work, and I mean, there's people out there that have a hunger for actual real journalism. Yeah. And also in-depth, intelligent, comprehensive understandings of what is happening. Yeah. A real, well-researched take on a particular situation.

Well, when somebody does it like that guy did about, like, the subprime mortgage, like, you know, and they spent all that time and they write that story, I mean, it's like reading, like, a good book. Yeah. You just can't stop reading it. I mean, did you read that Dirty John story in the L.A. Times? What is that? Man, and now they're making a, they have, like, a mini-series coming out about it.

I remember reading it and not being able to stop reading it, What is that? women who were like divorcees who had some money he was posturing as a doctor and like would pretend to have this really successful life and just be a pariah that would like suck onto these people and this story went really deep about how this guy found this woman her daughters were like grown daughters immediately suspected things were wrong. She didn't see it. But the story unravels the way like a good book or like a thriller would unravel in the theater. So you're just like the guy, you know, he researched it. I forget his name. They turned it into a podcast.

And then now it's coming out as like a short series. That's the guy? That's the guy. That's the real guy. Wow. It's Christopher Goffard. And, man, so it would be like part one in short series. That's the guy? That's the guy. That's the real guy. Wow. It's Christopher Goffard. And man, so it would be like part one in the series. You'd read this and you're like, all right, all right.

Where's part, like you're scrambling to read the next part. That's freaking me out because he's moving. Like his image is moving slowly. Oh, yeah. Slowly pulling away. That's the real guy. It's a fascinating read. Wow.

And I recommend reading it, man. I mean, it is really good. So was this guy a career criminal criminal he was a career criminal that hit it well but you know it's interesting that I remember reading it and and you're kind of fascinated how the daughters know like they just know they keep going back to like this doesn't add up but she's kind of lost in the love and attention and excitement of this relationship. And he's just preying on her. He is preying on her. And he empties her account.

Spoiler alert. I don't even want to give it away, man. It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. You can get it right now? Do you have a subscription, or did you? It's like it's a podcast.

There's a bunch of articles about how big it got released and podcasts in L times there's all sorts of stories about it yeah well there's still i mean for all the people that are into just short attention span clickbait nonsense there's still and there's some sort of a market for for real actually real real stories yeah and that's what i i would say that that's what most of it is out there. It's just that we get so much of, I mean, there's such a stockpile of that stuff every day, but when it comes to the actual stories that you're reading, I don't know, maybe I'm Pollyanna about it,

but I feel like there's a lot of great stuff out there. I think there's plenty of great stuff. Can you think about the actual amount of content versus how much time you actually have to read? There is great stuff. But if you looked at the overwhelming appetite that people have for media, it's for nonsense. Yeah. Like I was watching the Wendy Williams show.

I never watched that show before. Jesus Christ, I was watching that show. First of all, there was a girl in the audience that had a crown on. It was hilarious. The audience alone, like they should have one half of the screen. Was she marrying herself? She wasn't. Tom and I were at a restaurant last night and a lady had just gotten married to herself.

We were both keeping it together. We were like, what's going on over there? And then someone was like, she's marrying herself. This is her ceremony. Jesus Christ. You never see guys doing that. I'll tell you this much. Yeah.

And my oldest daughter went over and hugged her. My oldest daughter is the sweetest person in the world. Yeah, yeah. She's so sweet that the lady who married herself was like, your daughter's very sweet. She wanted to marry her. She's like, listen, I'm married to myself, but I'll marry you too. Let's marry everybody. Yeah.

But what were we just talking about? Oh, you said Wendy Williams. Wendy Williams show. Oh, Wendy Williams show. Oh, my goodness. Oh, is that when she fell down? Yeah. She had a moment in the show where she fainted and fell down.

Have you seen what I saw when Aretha died? That Aretha had done an interview with Wendy Williams one time, and it fucking hilarious why was it because Aretha Franklin was sassing her a bunch like like an OG sassy it was really really funny man I hope you've seen it but she's just like like Wendy's like I have an idea for this project whatever and Aretha was like mm-hmm and she was like so you want to go in on it and Aretha's like you're gonna write a check and she's like, so you want to go in on it? And Aretha's like, you're going to write a check? And she's like, I was thinking you could. She's like, oh, you ain't got it, huh?

You ain't got the money? That's what I thought. She just turns around on her. It's so funny, man. It's hilarious. Aretha Franklin just owns it, you know? She's been around. She was like not having it at all. Well, all the show is is Wendy Williams talking shit about people.

And all the girls in the audience are going, mm, mm, mm, mm. They're talking about people getting custody and, oh, she's breaking up with her. And it's like, wow, that's what – there's a lot of people out there that have an appetite for this stuff. For that, for sure. I mean, how long does – Including me, obviously. I fucking sat there. I'm Pet Marshall watching it like, oh, what's going to happen with the kids?

Look how long Jerry Springer stayed on the air Yeah Right Yeah That was a fucking 30 plus year run or something You know what's fucked up About that

Jerry Springer's a smart guy Yeah He's a smart guy I used to listen to him On the Opie and Anthony show I was like whoa Wait a minute He was the mayor

Of Cincinnati Mayor of Cincinnati Got busted Paying for a prostitute With a check So we all slip up From time to time That's how he got caught Yeah Which is hilarious Like checking his account Can prostitute with a check. So we all slip up from time to time.

That's how he got caught. Yeah. Which is hilarious. Like checking his account. Can I write you a check? Lexus. Who's Lexus? Yeah.

That's pretty crazy, man. Yeah. I don't know. I think there's plenty. What is that? Is that him? Wow. That's when he was the mayor? A young fella.

Looks like he's like 40 years old back then. But it's just, it's bizarre how prevalent that stuff is online. I mean, it's just, there's so much. There's so much clickbaity nonsense. It's hard. But there's plenty of good journalism. There's plenty of good writing. Yeah. But there's plenty of good journalism. There's plenty of good writing. Well, I mean, again, like I said, when I was doing my limited experience in doing this, the vast, vast, vast majority of the people that I've been talking to have been really interested in just talking about adoption and really interested in foster care and all that kind of stuff.

And it's been great. It's been great talking to everybody. And I think that when you have a topic like that too, it helps because they're not really trying to crush you as much when you're, you know, when you're talking to them about kids who need families and homes and that kind of thing. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. They have to be careful with letting their piece of shit claws out. Now you said that your experience with adopting three kids started out as a nightmare. Yeah. How did it start out as a nightmare? Well, it goes into it. You know, you have friends that join the military, and when they're in high school, they think they're really tough,

and they're like, yeah, yeah, it's going to be awesome. And then they go to boot camp, and they're like, oh, shit, this is really hard. And then they get on top of it, and then they're good again. But they have to go through that transition of like, oh, man, maybe I'm not as tough as I thought I was. And then they get tough. So you never had any kids. I never had any kids.

Had a dog. You've done the dog thing. Did the dog thing. So you know how to take care of in a very small way. I had a friend who said that to me. He's like, well, I've had a dog. Oh, yeah. He's talking about having a kid.

I've heard that a lot. I'll fucking kill you with a rock. You better not compare the two. That's so stupid. Yeah. And we went from zero kids and you kind of think, well, I babysat my sister's kids and that kind of thing.

For how long? Yeah, that's the question. A movie. They went to a whole movie. Yeah. Two hour movie. And even what happens is you go, so for us, we had a really interesting experience where we went to an adoption fair, and that's in the movie. It's a real thing where they – because they – their budgets are stretched so tight that they'll have these outdoor events.

Not every county has them, but L.A. County has them where you – where they'll bring a bunch of kids that are in the system and a bunch of prospective parents, and they'll just have, like, games and stuff going on. It's a really bizarre event. And we went, you know, and you're there to meet kids, you know, to meet your kids. And so we went there, and we didn't want to have anything to do with teenagers because, you know, just because we were scared. We thought we're not ready for that. We just want to find, like, some cute little kid that we can, you know. Help out.

And then the teenagers are all off to the side because everybody's afraid of them. And it's the most heartbreaking thing you've ever seen because they know why they're there. Like they chose to be there and they know that everybody's scared of them. So I was there and I was like, oh, my God, this is the worst thing I've ever seen. And we ended up sort of inadvertently meeting this teenage girl and her brother and sister. And just, they just seemed cool. And they just seemed like really good kids and just scared, scared, scared. But we wrote them down on our sheet and just, again, not what we, what we had planned on when we did this, but we wrote them down on our sheet and we went home

knowing they were going to match us with them because no one else was going to put them down. And we, we get home and we find out, yes, you've been matched with these kids. And we're like, okay, here we go. We're going to have, you know, we're going to have a teenager. They were 16, 13, and 11. Boom. Yeah. Whoa.

So we're, you know, kind of wrapping our heads around this over the next couple weeks. And we got to a place where we were like, OK, you know, we can do this. And then we got a call from the social worker. And she said, you know, it's not going to work out with them. They've been in the system for four years. The girl, she's really holding out hope that her mom is coming for her. So she's refusing the placement. And so we tried to.

And I was like, I was, you know, when you hear, it's so – just the same reaction you guys just had. So my wife and I wrote a letter to send through the social workers just saying, hey, look, we get it. If you – maybe you guys just want to come and just do the foster thing or however you want to do it. And we just sort of sent the letter off. We didn't hear anything. And then she came back and she just said yeah it's not going to happen and then she very matter-of-factly just said but there's these other three kids and those kids are my kids now who i love more than anything in the world really and that's that's how to and that's how it started

there's these other three kids we were like oh oh all right and you you want there to be or i shouldn't say you i mean i wanted there to be a certain amount of randomness. Like when you have, you know, biological kids, you don't know what you're going to get. Yeah. And go into that event where you're sort of like meeting kids and it feels weird. And so when she said there's these other three kids, we said, okay. And then they turned out to be younger, you know, six, three and 18 months. But I never forgot meeting that, that girl and her brother

and sister. So when the, when the time came that we were going to make a movie about it, I really, that was the Genesis of the Lizzie character. I wanted to make sure there was a teenager in this movie because they're so misunderstood. And in the process, I went out and met with a bunch of families that had adopted teen girls and then met with a lot of those girls who some of whom are grown up and some of whom are still, you know, with their families. And and this is the thing, you know, the scariness that we're all talking about. Every one of these families that I met with, just great stories, like amazing, great stories, like hard times, you know, trying to make that connection and whatever. great stories like hard times you know try it trying to make that connection and whatever but but everybody with the same story wouldn't have it any other way changed our life for the better met these incredible kids and this is yeah

and now I'm yammering but how old are they now how many years have you had them almost seven years so my Johnny, just turned 13. Wow. My daughter's nine and my other son is eight. How long was it between the phone call of, like, I have these other three kids and you actually getting them in your house? God, what was it? It was a couple of weeks because there was— A couple of weeks? That's it?

Yeah. No, it wasn't long at all. Whoa. But, yeah, because they called and they they said we have these other three kids and then uh and then there was going to be a meeting because they they they won't tell you much about the kids until until they really sit down with you and then they kind of walk through like here's you know whatever trauma here's whatever you know kind of so and again they don't for in our case they don't have all the information obviously on their past so they can kind of tell you like here's whatever you know kind of so and again they don't for in our case they don't have all the information obviously on their past so they can kind of tell you like here's how they came

into the system and that that kind of thing so i wasn't able to go because i was i was i was at a work thing and so my wife went to the meeting and i was like listening to it you know and i was on speakerphone in the meeting and uh and there was this one moment you know and she's telling us everything and there's this one moment where she slides, and she's telling us everything, and there's this one moment where she slides the picture across to my wife and says, here's a picture of them, and there's this long pause, and my wife goes, oh, they're cute.

They didn't sound cute by the inflection in their voice, and, you know, you're trying not to be that guy, you know, that you're like, wait, what do they look like? But, you know, you don't want to be shallow about it. I mean, kids are kids and you know, you're going to fall in love with them regardless, but you know, like you kind of, everybody wants to think their own kids are cute, whatever. So it was funny. And then when I saw the picture, the picture was, it was just a weird, bad picture of the kids. Like my son who was six at the time looked like he was 11 and he looked like this. It was just the look on his face and whatever hard yeah he looks he looks hard and a little and and we go over to the house and these kids are adorable so oh so this is

sorry i'm getting ahead of myself so so when you so we have the meeting and we go okay we're gonna go meet with them and just to be clear we didn't say okay because the picture because the picture was kind of like neither here nor there you know we were just like all right let's go meet these kids so we go to the house and these kids are adorable. And, and it's the weirdest thing ever. Cause you go to this foster home where they live and you play with them for like two hours. And when do you ever play with any kids for two straight hours? Like actually actively play with kids, especially kids you've never met before. so it's exhausting yeah it's weird and and we touch on this in the movie that i was really scared when we were

getting there because i wanted so much to walk in see these kids well up with tears know it's for real know these are my kids and just have that like cosmic connection moment and that didn't happen at all like it's more weird, right? It's so you, I'm going to live with you. Yeah. And well, the little kids are just kind of like, this is, you know, it's actually weird in the other direction. They're so used to kind of being passed around that they're just kind of like, Oh, okay. Who are these people? Right. And so we get in there and then the foster mom in our case was like, go to your mom and dad. And I was like, oh, don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't say that. Slow your roll, lady. Because it just felt so obtrusive to the kids, you know? Yeah. And so we would go there every day for five straight days. We would go there when the kids were off school and we'd go and play with them first in the backyard. And then you take them to the park and then you take them to the park and you take them out for ice cream.

And you're just kind of like getting to know these kids that are strangers. Did you try to change their names? Yeah, first day. As soon as we walked in, I was like, you're... You're Mike now. No, we didn't do that. The little one wouldn't even know, though, dude. Yeah, that's true.

That is true. That is true. No memory. You know what of a lot of people do in fact a lot of kids a lot of older kids that sort of have that will will want to change their name not just their last name fresh start yeah that they'll just want to you know really yeah yeah i i don't have any experience with that but i've heard that that sometimes kids will choose to there was a a young lady that was at the screening last night who was who her picture is at the end of the movie. She's in Ireland getting her PhD right now, this girl that these people adopted out of foster care.

She's amazing. Yeah. And she had chosen to change her name. Yeah, I mean, that seems like it would mean something. Yeah, now that I think about it, it just seems, you know, changing a name. Yeah. Especially as a teen. But, I mean, I get it if you're saying, like, I want to put everything in the past.

Yeah, you want a fresh start. Really lock it down. This is the new me. Right. This is my new life. I'm Kobe Bryant. I used to be number eight. I'm 24 now.

Yeah. Well, and that touches on something that is really difficult when you're doing this as an adoptive parent is that you're trying to walk this line all the time where, you know, you need to claim these kids for your own. You need to be the person who's like, you're with us. Like, we're with you. We got your back. We're behind you. Like, you need to do that. That's what these kids don't have.

This thing that we all take for granted. We have these parents that love us no matter what knucklehead things we do. So you're trying to do that. But at the same time, you're trying not to impose your world on them because they're coming into it with their own personality and their own culture or whatever it is behind them. So you're always trying to kind of be careful and walk this line between just, just completely bring them in, but not trying to change them into who you are. Did the six-year-old already have things he was really into or sports or activities or? Yeah, he was. Well, the funny thing is my son is really athletic and I'm, I'm really not. So I know you guys are, but I'm, I'm so not. Me especially. He's an acrobat.

I know you guys are, but I'm so not. Tom is. Me especially. He's an acrobat. You saw what I was doing yesterday. Because an animal. But no, he's really athletic, and he's just always been good with all of that stuff. And it's funny for me because I wasn't that kid at all. But it's great for me because I'm like, he's able to do the stuff that I wanted to do so badly when I was little.

I sucked at sports, and I so wanted to be good at sports. And he's really good at it and it makes me... What does he play? Well, I mean, whatever he plays he just tends to be pretty good at it. So he played flag football for a while and he's playing lacrosse now and he's played soccer. Dude, keep him away from lacrosse and football. We were just playing it with Brennan Schaub the other day.

I had no idea how many people get knocked the fuck out playing lacrosse. Really? Lacrosse is fucking violent, man. Violent. We were saying there's a difference between this even in football in that they're striking each other. You're allowed to. They're allowed to hit each other with a stick, but they're also striking each other with elbows. They're running in, and they have the stick in their hand, and they're elbowing each other in the face as they're running.

I mean, whoa, shit. It's a crazy amount of force that they generate. Oh, yeah. And these kids are getting flatlined. And I'm like, that's because I had Dale Earnhardt Jr. here the other day on. Really nice guy. Great guy. Suffered 12 concussions over a period of four years.

Racing? Yes. And has some significant brain damage because of it that he had to go through therapy for to help him. Like to the point where he was walking and he had to hold on to things because his balance was so fucked up. He couldn't just walk. Couldn't get off the couch and walk to the bathroom. He had to hold on to like a table and a chair and he had to make his way through. All of this from concussions.

And, you know, what they're getting in lacrosse and they're getting in football it's all the same shit yeah head trauma it's head trauma yeah so i'm a terrible parent no my kids go to a very nice school it's a great school and we went to a football game the other day where the older kids are playing football and i'm just sitting there all the other parents are having a good time and i'm like brain damage brain damage there's some brain damage yeah there's some brain damage. There's some brain. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ.

These are kids. They're kids running at each other full clip, smashing each other and falling to the ground. They see the kid get up slow and put his hands on the ground. He's all fucked up. I'm like, this is crazy. You guys are teaching people. I always felt like lacrosse, because my high school had lacrosse, too, and I always felt like it was way crazier. Because I didn't know about it, and then I'm at this school and they have it, and I'm like,

this shit is nuts. It's nuts, and there's no career in it. Yeah, and they're just, oh yeah, of course. At least if you're a football player, you can become some Herschel Walker type character and become a huge baller. Yeah, that's true. But you got no shot if you're a lacrosse player. What the fuck can you do?

I love when they interview all the guys in the NFL. They're like, the young guys, they're like're like you know all this evidence is that your lifespan is going to be way shorter and it's going to be probably horrific at some point because of the impact of what you're going through playing football you know what do you think about that they're like shit's worth it man this is an awesome lifestyle nobody is like yeah i mean you're getting some guys that you see retire early which was unheard of 10 years ago right guys one guy came out played his rookie year and retired you know you're getting guys early retirement um some guys play finish out a contract they're up for a big contract and they're out yeah that's happening but there's

still you know there's no shortage of guys who are like, I'll take the guarantee, whatever my signing bonus is, and take some brain damage with it. I mean, look, that's how our brains work. Our brains are designed to not have that kind of foresight until you get much older. Of course. When you're young, you can't. Satisfy me now.

Yeah. And I don't know what that is, but you can tell people, hey, whatever it is you're doing right now, this is really going to cause you irreparable harm. When? Like, today? No. Well, fuck it. Well, that's the same way we deal with climate change. It's literally the same thing. People are driving around with cars

blowing smoke out, like, yeah, one day we'll fucking fix it. It's going to be a real problem. You tell someone it's going to be a real problem here on Earth in like 300 years, and they're like, that sucks. Whatever. I won't be here, bro. Or even sadly yeah it'll be like there's also the issue with people that get a lot of head trauma they get very impulsive and they um they don't make good

decisions anyway you know so even if you know even if they could have the foresight they probably wouldn't make good decisions they don. They're not thinking rationally. And they did some study. What was that study, Jamie? We've referenced this before where they looked at kids that play football literally from Pop Warner all the way through college and how many of them have CTE. Really? Oh, Jesus Christ. It's stunning. See, I always felt like my point of view on it was always like I played football fourth grade through high school, right?

And I always was like, man. That's why you're so fucked up. I know. I know. But I just feel like, you know, you have definitely some big – in an amateur career, you have some – you can think back like, man, I got my bell rung there. How many times did you get your bell rung? I don't know. I mean, probably mean probably I mean here's the thing in fourth grade and fifth grade you're like that doesn't happen really I mean kids are like you know walking up and like wrapping up slowly you're playing with kids who will eventually not play football even in sixth grade right you know

so it starts to be you might have like a stud on a team in middle school and still a bunch of guys that won't play in high school. Yeah. And then in high school, yeah, there's definitely some athletes that stand out for sure. I mean, those are the kids that will eventually go on. But you play teams and there's weeks where you're just like no one is really good on this team, you know. And you'll have a game where you'll feel like, yeah, I mean, there was a couple, I got a couple good hits in, there was nothing really of impact.

And then something will stand out. Like you'll play a school that has like an All-State or All-American player, and you're like, holy shit, that guy fucking fucked me up bad. And you remember it. I mean, I remember it to this day. Some of those like really standout guys and you're like, that hit stuck with me. But that's once a year that you play that guy, right? Or that you remember a school that good. And then if you don't go on to play in college, it really feels like kind of a, I don't know, a risk assessment

where you're like, I didn't feel like that was, you know, do I have damage? I don't know. But, I mean, once you get into college football is where I feel like that's where you're really playing with really good athletes. A friend of mine, a guy in his neighborhood, a kid who was 21, committed suicide. And he was a college player who was about to go into the pros. He was 21 years old. Really? Yeah.

And the significant CTE just really ravaged. Every year a player played tackle football under the age predicted the early onset of cognitive problems by 2.4 years and behavioral and mood problems by 2.5 years. Yeah, but there's a study. Wow. Okay, the average study found that 211 players who were diagnosed with CTE after death who played tackle football before age 12 suffered from cognitive, behavioral, and mood symptoms earlier than those players who didn't start to play until after age 12. They're saying that, okay,, study included 246 former players,

211 of whom were diagnosed with CTE after death. Wow. That's insane. Well, in college there's definitely, there's no such thing as getting around real high-impact hits. No. That's it. Those are all people that know how to play.

They're all athletes. You're going to get rocked. What they're realizing now is that subconcussive trauma is what's responsible for the majority of brain damage. What's subconcussive? You're not getting a concussion. Oh. Yeah, you're just getting rattled.

Yeah. So getting rattled where it's not even fucking you up, but over time. Over time, that over and over. You have multiple hits that are just not, they're not knocking you out. They're just jostling you. Those happen a lot. Yeah. You even get it from getting hit to the body.

Right. You get hit to the body and your head snaps back and you don't even get hit in the head. And you're like throwing up and your head's all fucked up and you're trying to figure out what's going on. It's because your brain's been moshing around inside your head. Yeah. The thing that I remember too is the thing that stands out is when you, because such thing is like bracing for a hit and then feeling it

and you're like, fuck. But when you don't see someone coming. Oh yeah, man. It's like a fight where you don't see a punch coming.

Oh yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. It's dangerous. You guys are saving my child's life right now. I'm telling you right now.

It's funny because I don't know that much about lacrosse. I had to actually YouTube lacrosse to be like, how do you play this? Jamie, pull up the video because there's some videos of some fucking hits that we were watching the other day and Brendan played lacrosse in college. He played lacrosse in college? And football.

Jesus Christ. And then he fought in the UFC. Yeah. So his brain looks like a walnut. It's got to be, man. And you talk to him, you kind of know. Yeah. It's gotta be, man. And you talk to him, you kinda know. Yeah. It's a

crazy fucking sport. Look at this. Boom. Watch these guys. Just over and over again, these guys getting KO'd. Boom. Boom. See that? I mean, they're smashing each other. The impact is horrific. Look at that.

Boom. These are strikes strikes this is like me kicking somebody in the head this is this is not much different than a kick in the head you're just hitting them with the elbow but the amount of force so these guys are getting kicked in the head with these helmets on yeah and if you think the helmet's protecting your head that shit ain't protecting anything boom look at that i boom all right look shit ain't protecting anything. Boom! Look at that. Boom! All right, look. I don't know anything about this stuff, but I've thought for a long time hard helmets gotta just make it worse, right? Well, it makes you more confident that you could slam your head into somebody and then

you don't realize how bad you're getting fucked up from that. You know, it's your head. When you get hit in the head, even though you have a helmet on, it's not going to crack your skull. Your brain still substantially. It's hitting the sides of your skull, you know? You get serious punishment. Smashing around in there. All the connective tissue.

It's like, it's awful. It's awful. Boom. Bam. And this is coming from a guy who's probably seen, I've probably seen more people get fucked up than 99.9% of the people that have ever lived. Right. In terms of like being there live when someone got the fuck beaten out of them. Yeah.

I've probably seen more people get the fuck beaten out of them. It's true. Than almost anyone that's ever lived in history. Yeah. There's probably a small handful of people that have seen more. Sure. See, I'm still in that. How many fights have you called? Hundreds. Thousands. Yeah. There's probably a small handful of people that have seen more. Sure. See, I'm still in that. How many fights have you called?

Hundreds. Thousands. Thousands. At least more than 1,000, probably 2,000. But then I've seen more. I mean, I've seen a bunch live. And when I was competing, I saw a bunch of people get fucked up. I mean, it's just, I've seen it a lot.

It's that when you can avoid that, avoid it. You know, especially something like lacrosse. You can't make a career out of it. Get out of there. Because it actually just started. Because right now I'm used to kids' soccer where they're just running around. It's cute. Chasing the ball.

It's cute. It's fun. Soccer's great. It's actually really fun to watch. And yeah, my son just got into lacrosse, and we play catch with the lacrosse stick. And it's great. We have a good time playing catch with it. But no, I haven't seen him get—

What about tennis, man? Even soccer. Even soccer, which you think, you know, who's getting hurt in soccer? Soccer from heading the ball, just heading the ball, the ball flying out, you hit it with your head. Soccer players are suffering from CTE to the point where they're starting to minimize the amount of heading they do in practices. Really? Yes. This is what we're finding out about brains.

Like this is, you know, there's a good friend of mine, Dr. Mark Gordon, who specializes in CTE. He deals with a lot of soldiers coming back. And a lot of them that are like my friend Andrew Marr, where they would blow open doors. So they'd set up a charge on a door and step back and boom the door blow these guys mean he didn't even get hit with anything or maybe ieds like that are nearby those guys suffer significant brain damage and it's just from the impact of just getting shook by an explosion not even anything actually hitting them in the head. Which high school sport has the most concussions? Is it soccer?

Girls' soccer. Isn't it cheerleading? Had rates exceeded boys' football by 2015. Wow. I know. When you stop and you look at those, like when they're going to commercial on a college game, and they throw that girl up in the air, and you're like, man, to get that right. I saw a documentary about it. It's one of the most dangerous sports in the world is,

is high school cheerleading. Cause they, these girls fall on a gym floor and just smack their heads on the floor. It's crazy. There's a, there's a break dancing Instagram page called stance elements. Jamie pull, pull up stance elements is a guy who looks like he's about 300 pounds and he

break dances. He leaps forward and lands on the top of his head and keeps his feet up in the air. I don't know how the fuck this guy did this. This guy's bigger than Bert. Really? Yeah. Maybe not as big as Bert. Yeah, come on.

But he's pretty big. And he leaps forward, and he lands on his head. No hands. Lands on his head with his feet up in the air and holds the position for like a silent second. It's preposterous. And when you can do that trick, you do it a lot. Watch this. Look at this guy.

Whoa. Yeah. Look at the size of him. Oh my God. Watch this. Give me some volume. That guy will need a disc replacement within the next month. Oh my God.

We'll need a disc replacement within the next month. Oh, my God. That is so much weight on your fucking head. He's probably so dizzy and he's playing it off. That ain't shit, bro. Look at that. Oh. I got to tell you, you guys are making me feel so good about my mostly sedentary lifestyle that I've led my whole life. Yeah, it's safer.

I have not been hitting my head at all. It's safer. You're definitely safer. Don't hit your head. This is coming from somebody who watches people get their head hit for a living. I feel really good now. Usually I feel more shamed

for the way that I've been conducting myself. It's just when you can avoid it. I mean, look, it's not a bad way to make a living if you want to be a fighter and you really want to do it and that's your drive. You should do it it but you should really learn how to defend yourself correctly and learn the right technique but when you're doing it for recreation and you're doing something like lacrosse where you're running at each other full clip and smashing into each other and that's within

the rules like i think we're operating on ancient information that's's what I think. I think most of these systems that they're setting up, most of these sports rules and a lot of the organizations, they're all operating on these old ideas of brain damage. That's why I'm freaking out when I'm going to this school football game. And I'm watching this. I'm like, this is just brain damage. I'm watching brain damage. And I'm watching it that's promoted by a school. And school pride. Yay, everybody go. Yeah I'm watching it. That's promoted by a school and school pride.

Yay. Everybody go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're playing another team. Let's hope we beat them. How are you going to beat them? You're going to fucking slam into them and give them concussions and they're

going to go to school and they can't count. Do you get blowback for talking about that stuff or from fans and that kind of thing? No, no, because it's true. Yeah, I really,

I mean, I'm sure there must be some blowback. I don't read it anyway, but it's gotta be true. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there must be some blowback. I don't read it anyway. But it's got to be true. I mean, there's just too much evidence. I just think choose wisely. Don't not take risks. I mean, if you really want to be a BMX rider or a professional skateboarder, you're going to take some knocks.

It's just part of the program. Just don't do it if you don't have to. Because it piles up, and there's no coming back. It's just part of the program. Just don't do it if you don't have to. Yeah. Because it piles up, and there's no coming back. You know, when you go and you have, like, significant brain damage, I mean, you can get therapy that can help you. But you're going to – there's a road you're going down. Yeah.

It's your brain. I know. They see those – I mean, HBO's actually tapped into it a lot with that Real Sports show for years now. They've been doing follow-up pieces on CTE. And, man, it is devastating to see some of those guys. Some of those guys are in their 50s, 60s, and they're not there at all. Dude, I put a video up on Instagram or on Twitter I retweeted it and it's boxers where it shows the boxers when they're

young and they're talking and then it shows them like at the end of their career yeah they're retiring and then they interview them and you see them like just completely gone like a shell yeah I saw an interview with Riddick Bowe really bad ago. Really bad. Oh, it's awful. And I remember even, this one was actually kind of funny, was James Toney. What's important? Because he was, it was towards the end of his fighting, and he was definitely at least 40 pounds overweight.

Right. Like really out of shape, but still throwing bombs. Right. And he was sparring and it was like that piece that they air right before the fighters go to the ring on fight night.

Mm-hmm. And I mean, he's definitely taking some shots and giving some shots, but he was sparring and they were throwing in fresh bodies for him to spar against. So it was like,

you know, two minutes with this, and then boom, fresh body. And as he's like, he is really hyperventilating, sweating, spitting. He's still talking shit. As he's fighting, he's like, You faggot. Fuck you. And then they bring in the next guy. He's like, you piece of shit.

Your mama. He's a mess. He looks like a total mess. But he's just like talking shit, calling guys faggots and shit. Like as he's barely making it through these sparring sessions. And, you know, I mean, he's one of those guys he had to fight. Yeah. He had to fight.

Well, especially towards the end of his career. He took a fight in the UFC. He did? Yeah. Yeah. He's the only real world champion boxer that ever fought in mixed martial arts in the UFC. Wow. Randy Couture ankle picked him, took him down, strangled him.

Right away? Yeah. It was easy. Yeah. I mean he i don't think he really bothered learning right he's like i'm lights out tony i think he just put the gloves on and got in there and just had no idea what to do when randy got a hold of him he was clearly untrained when it came to the guy look at this low ankle low single i mean this is the beginning of the fight randy just immediately mounts him

punches him in the head a bunch of times and then strangles him and you know randy was just honestly being nice really yeah he could have punished him a lot longer if he wanted to he just wanted to finish him up it was sad because it was just you know he was talking about all these guys just don't know how to handle his hands. And every fight starts standing up, which is true. But Randy Couture will take you down all day, anytime he wants. And then he got him in an arm triangle and just smushed him. I mean, even when he's punching him, he's not even hitting him that hard here.

He's just trying to force him to give something up. Like, that's what he wants. He wants his head tied down against the side of his arm. Then he's going trying to force him to give something up he like that's what he wants he wants his head tied down against the side of his arm then he's going to squish him and that's he's gonna tap that's it it's a wrap whoa didn't take a punch that was pretty quick that was pretty fast yeah and james tony's one of the best that ever did it he's a phenomenal boxer yeah but just needing that and talked a lot of shit he's a great shit talker a lot of shit. He was a great shit talker. A lot of shit. Yeah. So, I don't want to discourage you, but- No, no, no.

This is good. Show your son some of these videos. Because, like I said, we're out in the backyard playing catch. It's just like a slice of America out there. I'm not even thinking about this. Well, people operate not totally aware of consequences, and they make choices that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Yeah. And I mean, I love my kids.

Like, you see, even what, I mean, you guys are kind of, like, I'm having that feeling right now because I love my kids so much. And I just think, oh, wow. Okay. Does he like basketball? He does. Yeah. Basketball is a great sport.

Yeah. There's no, no contact. And guaranteed contracts, man. If he makes it to the league, bro. Yeah. It's the best. How tall is he? Not tall.

Oh, that's not tall. Yeah. Okay. What about baseball? It's another one. Baseball's bro. It's the best. How tall is he? Not tall. Oh, that's not tall. Yeah. Okay. What about baseball? It's another one. Baseball's great. That's the best. Baseball's a bomb diggity.

As long as you don't hit a bit of pitch, you get hit with a pitch. Yeah, that sucks. But other than that, that's the lifestyle, man. That's the best. You know, I don't know if I'm allowed to do this here, but while we're here, I really wanted to talk about how Tom got into this movie. Can we talk about that? Yeah.

What do you mean allowed? I mean allowed to just totally jump tracks like that and just throw in. We're talking about brain damage. I don't want to get in trouble. There's no rules. Podcasts have no rules.

Yeah, how did he get in this? How did I get in this? So I saw his stand-up and I thought it was really funny and we had already written a draft of the script and I was like oh man this guy would be a great Russ and I didn't really think too much about it because we were making another movie at the time

and then when it came back around we were talking about different people that you're going to cast and you get these boards up so your picture was actually on a board for a while I don't think you even knew that your picture was on a a board for a while wow i don't think you even knew that i didn't know that picture was on a board i did not know that and uh so then um so tell it from from your angle when you got the call though because i'll tell you this so i don't know if you

i don't even know if you know this that i passed on the audition i do yeah okay i tell you that it's a good so when they you know for people like when you're if're a star, you get calls that like you have an offer, right? Like, do you want this offer? Do you want to do this movie? But if you're just like working, trying to get booked, you get these emails. Usually it's an email followed by a call that says like, for your consideration, movie is called Instant Family. Sean Anderson, John Morris wrote it. It's, you know, the part is Russ.

And it has like all the, you know, Mark Wahlberg's agreed to play this and Rose Byrne is attached to play this. And then here's the sides. And it was like one of those things where it'll say, you know, so Thursday at 11, 15 a.m., you are confirmed for the audition. And I get that email like on a monday and i was like i just got back from the road i was like i got a podcast today i was like whatever and then i just don't even read any of it so then it's like you know tuesday and then something happens and we're busy at the house and then when and then they go here we're just following up that you're good for the audition tomorrow i get get that like on Wednesday, you know, just confirming that you'll be there.

And I were like, nah, like that's a pass. Like I'm not going to be there. And that was it. I just sent that off. Like, I'm just not doing that this week.

And then I get a call right away and it's my agent. He's like, Hey, I noticed that you're trying to make money. Yeah. I noticed that you're not going to, you said, no,

is there a reason did the uh what did they say um the there's always that phrase you didn't respond to the yeah did you not respond to the material yeah did you not respond to the material and i go oh i haven't even read it and they go well why aren't you reading it i was like because and i just kind of lay out my week i'm like i've had. I've had this with my kid. I traveled. I'm doing this. I just got a lot going on. And they're like, he's like, okay.

I go, so it's not personal. I think like he's taking it personal. I go, I'm not saying no to upset you. I just have these things. And he's like, okay, well, the director specifically requested that you audition. And like, as you know, that doesn't happen a lot with you. So like, do you want to reconsider? And I was like, yeah, hold on a second. I go, he asked me, he's asking for me.

They're like, yeah. And I go, no, wait, did you believe him? Or did you think he was manipulating you? I did. I did believe him because, I mean, he's never said that. And, you know, a lot of times I've done things where like like, the producers are in the room on this session or that stuff. And I go, okay, well, here's the deal, man. I'm not going to go in unprepared.

Because now the audition's in 24 hours. So I go, I'll do it, but you have to buy me a couple more days. Because I have this the rest of today. Like, I'm not going to do it tomorrow morning. And he was like, okay, I'll see what I can do. Like, I'm not going to do it tomorrow morning. Yeah. And he was like, okay, I'll see what I can do. And then he called me back. He's like, they said they're good for Monday or whatever.

And I was like, great. And then I tried to prepare for that, like, you know, because they told me, the director. I was like, I can't go into this thing half-assed. So then I'm like really trying to prepare for that. And then I go in there and it was you. You're on Skype. Well, okay. So here's what happened from my end. Because you didn't show up.

Show up. I had to go back to Atlanta. And so then we had to do the audition via Skype. Oh, I didn't know that either. That's brutal for everybody else. Because you didn't show up. Well, who organized it? What kind of nonsense agency are you with that they book you something and don't tell you that they booked you?

Well, they always do that. They just book it? No, they'll set up on a time, right? Like it's very common where they'll go 11 a.m. Thursday. This is your agency? Yes. Now, they must have nothing to do with your podcast then. Nothing.

That's the problem, right? Yeah. So they don't know what you're booking. So they'll just think that that takes precedent. They also will be like, hey, you have an audition Friday. And I'm like, when I'm in Philadelphia? And they're like, you're in Philadelphia? Is there any way you can move that?

Oh, so this is a different agency for your stand-up as well? Yes. Oh, Christ. Is there any way you can move that? They really fucking say that? Oh, yeah. Holy shit. I had an agent tell me.

Oh, yeah, let me call these 5 000 people that are waiting yeah i had an agent i had an agent go like why don't you just um oh it was about like booking something a booking and i was like when does it shoot though like if i book this when does it shoot and it was like just you know october 3rd or whatever i'm like oh but i'm in sacramento he's like just move that and i was like yeah but it's two theater shows it's like 5 000 people and he was like oh really i'm like yeah like you think i'm just gonna yeah just move it aside and he's like i'm like why don't you know that my calendar's public yeah you know like just look it up man but yeah they'll give you answers like that so you should quit

acting you should make this movie I'm sure this movie is going to be awesome make it your swan song bro a lot of people are saying it's the breakout performance of the year I don't know if you've heard

that yet those four minutes crackle they resonate they do that's what I've heard they do well so

I'm in Atlanta Atlanta thank you and he auditions via Skype and when I saw his stand-up i was like this guy's perfect because we want this guy to just have this kind of swagger and this confidence

but he can kind of say these jackassy things but just sort of own them and i'm like this this guy's perfect for this i keep saying this guy because i didn't know him at the time and uh so tom comes in and i watched the skype audition now i'm to shit talk you a little bit here. Okay, okay. And he was not good. He was so not like who he is. He came in and he kind of was sort of putting his back into it a little bit. He was kind of really just trying to be kind of really sort of extra funny. And it was just not at all what I had in mind. But I just was like – so I'm watching it on Skype and I'm just, so I'm trying to give some direction.

How do you feel about this, that you weren't good? I had no idea whether, here's the thing, every audition, this is actually fascinating if you audition, because you literally leave auditions and you go, sometimes you go, that was great. And you'll never hear anything again. Sometimes you go, I bombed and you get a call hey guess what they want to see you again or you booked for you like what you don't know what they have no idea you have no idea I mean you don't

really know what they want when you're going in I did not know that it sucked that bad I didn't know that it didn't know it wasn't that it sucked that bad it might have been no no it wasn't uh no it was just that you you have this very specific thing yeah that you do that i wanted to bring in and be a part of this character yeah and you left that out see i but i don't think what's that thing it's like he's got this he's got this in his delivery this kind of devil may care kind of like like a deadpan so yeah but it's this but it's that it's it's like a big part of your persona is this whole like, all right, whatever.

I just said that, okay. And I wanted Russ to have that thing. And when you came into audition, you left that thing out. Do you think I did that in the movie? Not at all. No, you were great in the movie. No, I'm saying I feel like I did the movie

exactly how I auditioned. No, you didn't at all. Really? No, it was like night and day.'t. It was like night and day. Really? It was like night and day. In my mind, if someone were to ask me, I'd be like 100% they're the same.

The second audition, you did just like the movie. Really? Yeah. Because basically, so then what happened is we got together and I thought, and I was like, God, I don't want to- Did you meet him for the second audition? Well, we got together because I called him

because I really wanted him to be in the movie. And I called him and I said, would you be willing to just like come over to my house and we can just talk through it and work through it a little bit? That's some Harvey Weinstein shit. Yes. I made jokes about that. I made jokes about that immediately to him on the phone. I was like, am I going to give you a bath? He was like, all right.

But can I tell you, I got to go back. This is more embarrassing. I remember leaving that audition that now you're telling me this, the first one, and telling my agent, like, there's no way I could have done better. I did. I did tell him that. I was like, there's no, I could not. I can't imagine that this was. Dude, I nailed it.

I'm serious. And this is the thing. I understand that because you had energy and you were funny, but you just didn't have that thing that I wanted so badly to be a part of this character. And so there was this one thing that was missing. And then you came over and we talked about it. And then you did it. And then also we got the chance to, because when he read it, he's just reading dialogue that we wrote for anybody. But then once you have somebody's voice in your head a little bit, you can adjust it and make it a little more comfortable. Oh, that's right.

So we made some adjustments to the dialogue and everything, which made it more conducive to your just style of speaking. That's true. Your cadence. Yeah, yeah. That was fun. Yeah, it was. And so then he comes back and he does it again. And he crushed it.

And he was really funny. And we sent that to the studio. And they were like, oh, like oh my god this guy's great and it was like such a great no idea dude i have no idea that's kind of why i wanted to talk about this on on the podcast yeah i knew you didn't know all i definitely didn't know that i definitely didn't know that it's actually like it's it's the thing though like it's that's the big bummer about in general auditioning is you walk out and you go, sometimes you follow up with your agent. You're like, so what's the feedback? And they're like, they always tell you they loved you.

Yeah. And you're like, is there anything else? And you don't know, like, was it good? Was it bad? And you also don't know what they're looking for. And I don't know. I mean, going to your place, going over, like, you know, in detail more is more is also like I actually felt like I want a contest because you know you audition now I know I tanked and then

the directors like do you want to come work on it so that like possibly you can do it better and I was like sure man so I'm working with him on this thing and I don't know you we spent a lot of time working on it and then when I found out I booked the role, then I go there and I feel like it's a second part of a contest. Because he has all great actors in the movie, like for all the parts. I mean, you know the stars, but like Margo Martindale from the American, did you watch the Americans? No. Oh, that show is. You've seen her though.

She's amazing. Yeah. I heard that show is awesome You've seen her, though. She's amazing. Yeah. I heard that show's awesome. That show is so good. I mean, it just ended, but if you ever want to go on a binge weekend, now you have six seasons, I think, to go through. I became a big fan of hers on that, and then Julie Haggerty. You have just all these great actors.

So every time... Yeah, Octavia Spencer, Tig Notaro. We had really good people. Every time we're shooting a scene with one of them, I end up just watching them. I'm in the scene and I'm just like, wow, she's a really good actor. That's weird, isn't it? Yeah, it totally is. I did a scene with Maura Tierney once when I was on news radio.

Maura Tierney is definitely one of the best actors I ever worked with. But she was so good that she did the lot. You know, we're rehearsing, doing all this thing. She did the line in the scene, and I didn't realize that it was the line from the scene. I realized she was just talking. I thought she was just talking. Because of how, like. Because she's so natural.

Yeah. I was like, that kind of creeped me out. Yeah. I was like, oh, oh, that's the line. Whoa. I was like, that was weird. You were just totally normal. Because otherwise people are like, Tom, where are we going to find a guy that's going to fix that?

Right. It's so forced. She had none of that. Because she was really an actor before she was. Some of them don't like to be called actresses, right? So it's safer to say actor. But at comics, who the fuck uses comedian? Remember that?

That went away. I didn't know that. It doesn't exist anymore. Do you know about the Latinx thing? I didn't know that was a thing. You didn't know about that? What do you mean? I was reading this article.

Yeah, it's Latino and Latina are male and female gender specific right so and the word latin also get gets it done as far as yeah i don't know yeah so it's supposed to be like that's how you latinx you should say that you're supposed to say latinx because is this new it's'm not doing it. It's a couple years in the making. They can fuck off. Well, see, in Spanish, the masculinized version of these words is considered gender neutral, but that obviously doesn't work

for some of us, like myself. And so I think it's appropriate to assign masculinity as gender neutral when it isn't. So I'm Latinx. Well, it's interesting because my kids are Latin, and this is another one of the things that we touch on to next yeah there it is and we touch it oh sorry go ahead no go ahead please well we touch on this a little not this pronunciation or you know but we touch on that

a little bit in the movie of there is that feeling you know when when we went in to adopt our kids we were just open we were like look we're look, we're pretty general age-wise. We didn't go in expecting three kids. Just, you know, we thought one and it sort of turned into that. But, you know, you're open to it. And they ask you, well, what about ethnicity? You know, and you just go, yeah, you know, whatever, you know, wherever the need is, you know, whoever needs parents, you know, let us know. And but then when when it happens in your kids, in my case, my kids turn out to be Latin.

Then you have the you know, you start to kind of think about like, oh, well, you know, is that is that OK? Is that kind of you know, is that going to look like the white savior thing? Is that going to look weird? Is that am I am I saying things right and whatever? And what ends up happening is this really wonderful thing where your family becomes this melting pot where, you know, at first, because of the times that we live in right now, it's a little scary jumping into that. That's so weird. about what, you know, but you're, you know, but you ultimately are just going to think about who the kids are, what their need is and how obviously wonderful they are. And, but you, but all of those things come up and that's the kind of thing that wouldn't

even be, you know, why would that, the, the Latinx thing have anything to do with my house? Well, now it does. Yeah. So I've got, I've got all that you know all the time and and uh i actually find it really interesting the latinx thing no no not that and specifically but just that that my family is now this little melting pot yeah that part's cool and it's cool i reject latinx completely well it is it is cool but it's also very strange that that is a and it would be a real point of concern like you would worry about you know how do i

handle yeah this new this culture without cultural appropriation how do i how do i bring my kid and embrace the latino or latinx culture like what do i how do i handle that yeah yeah and how do i do without getting called a racist well and it gets back to what i was talking about before where you're trying to just put your kids needs first and just deal with them as children as individuals as human beings you know and but at the same time you're also you're with other parents and there's in the adoption community and really in every direction there's there's mixed race families in the adoption community and uh and you're kind of learning from them. And it just,

I don't know. It just, it opens up a lot of conversations with your own kids and, and just the, the movies you watch, the, the foods you eat sometimes. And I don't,

I think it's great. No, it's great. I think it's really, you know, the, the language thing for me, for me,

it stands out more because my whole life I've said Latino, like my mother's Latina. And it's just funny to me to, yeah. that you speak Spanish yeah yeah yeah speaks fluently which is hilarious because Tom has some great stories about people not thinking he speaks Spanish because when you look at him you're like oh this fucking American guy yeah he looks like a regular American guy but he speaks perfect like I've been around him before when he asked people questions like whoa I forgot you could

do that yeah yeah it's like someone who you know that could do backflips. Right. They just do a backflip. You're like, oh, I forgot you could do that. Yeah, it's true. And it throws people off. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you look so American. Yeah. And you look like a guy who loves football. Yeah. Just a fucking American, a regular American. But he speaks perfect. He rolls the R's. Even when I travel abroad, like to Spanish-speaking countries, even there, even though Spanish-speaking countries are also melting pots, you know, they still look at you like, oh, shit.

Like, you know. Yeah, look at this motherfucker. Yeah. It really throws people off. people what the the most the craziest one wasn't even with me my sister who one of my sisters who also speak spanish uh went to the naval academy's linguistics center so in the navy and she was in the navy for a while and uh she learned mandarin whoa and it was really intense you know it's really intense and we went to a restaurant together and the the guy it was one of those restaurants like a benihana type where they chop stuff up and the guy was uh someone asked like where he's from

and he said somewhere in china and she starts speaking mandarin and he dropped the thing and he was like like he saw a ghost and and she's spitting back to him in pretty fluent Mandarin. Wow. And he stops, and he was like, I've never seen this before. And he's like, I've never seen a white person do this. And we were like, yeah, pretty wild. And then he turned to us, he goes, I don't think you understand how hard it is to speak this language.

And I was like, I have a pretty good idea. I can't do it. And then just watching it, he was just like he could even start cooking your sister to learn well she was in when you sign when you get in to like that Naval Institute program they have you going I think it was something like eight hours a day five or six days a week so it's really it's super intense almost like learning learning mandarin yeah yeah and it overwhelms people people drop out almost like in a physical stress way you know

some people just can't handle it like boot camp and i forget how how long she was in and you know she didn't reach the level of um super you know fluent like we're speaking English, but she was able to communicate in Mandarin. Can she read it? She was reading and writing. That's the thing is she was telling me one time about how many characters and, you know, it was just unbelievable. And, like, there's sounds for expressions. Like, I'm going to screw up because I don't remember it,

but she was like, you can do something like, oh, and that means, like, means an actual phrase, you know? Like there's so many and that there's characters that mean entire expressions as well. I was like, it's just our brains are so married to our alphabet and way of speaking that it's a real jump to learn that, you know? It's just, it really is fascinating when you travel and you listen to people speaking their native tongue and you realize how strangely different languages are

across the entire planet. Yeah. I mean, just unbelievable. Like, I was in Thailand this summer, and you listen to people talk Thai, and everything, thaa, everything stretches. It's got, like, a stretch to it. You know, it's like a weird thaa. It's got like a stretch to it. You know, it's like a weird, it's a very odd language.

I'm like, compare that to like German or Dutch. Yeah. You know, like the Germans got those hard sounding. Really hard, yeah. It's like this weird difference. Yeah, and the Latin one, the Latin root word, like, languages all do have a flowy, singy, songy, they're kind of nice to listen to. It's a beautiful language. It's really nice

to listen to. I mean, I like listening, I don't speak Portuguese, I like listening to it. Yeah, Brazilian Portuguese is amazing. Yeah. It sounds so cool. And I listen to, we listen to French music sometimes at home, just in the kitchen. Yeah, yeah, like cooking or something. I don't know what the hell they're saying, but I like it. I like that when I write. I listen to Spanish music when I write because I have no idea what they're saying.

I do that too. You listen to music in a foreign language so that it doesn't impede your... It doesn't distract you. Yeah, yeah. It's like it sounds good. It gives me a little something, something, but I can still think about the exact things that I'm thinking about. Well, I recently had this interesting experience.

I sent you one of them that the trailers for the movie get... Oh, yeah. had this interesting experience. I sent you one of them that, you know, the trailers for the movie get, uh, the movie itself and the trailers get dubbed into all kinds of different languages. So you have this dialogue that, that I wrote, you know, or me and John wrote or whatever, and you get to hear it in these different languages. And I sent you the Spain, Spanish version because that's different. And I don't really, I'm not going to pretend that I understand that much what the difference between, between it is, but that's predominantly. And I don't really, I'm not going to pretend that I understand that much what the difference between it is, but that's predominantly what you speak, right? No, no. Oh, it isn't?

No, what I speak predominantly is just like specifically South American and more specifically a Peruvian dialect. Oh, okay. All right, great. So, but I mean, I did study, I studied in Madrid for six months and once your ears are trained to it,

you can listen to someone say a sentence and know that it's, oh, that's from Spain. Like that's- Oh, that's really interesting. Then there's the Cuban version of it, which is crazy. Yeah. It's a wild version of the way they- All the island dialects sound dramatically different.

Wow. Like if you listen to somebody from Cuba, Puerto Rico- Is it a comparison like English speakers from America versus English speakers from Ireland? It is, yeah. And I would say, you know, I always think of Spain as like our Britain, you know, in a way. Like the language, English is from England. That's where the language, that is how you speak it. Spanish and Castilian, you know, that comes from England. Right. That's where the language, that is how you speak it. Spanish and Castilian, you know, that comes from Spain. They're speaking OG Spanish.

And then it all kind of came over here and its influence. And every country has different ways of saying things, different, obviously different slang, all different curses, all different expressions, completely different. All different curses, all different expressions, completely different. Even words like as simple as like to pick up, you know, coger, pick something up. You know, you say that in Mexico or Argentina. It literally means to fuck. Really? Yeah.

So if you're like, you know, quiero coger esta agua. You're saying like, I want to fuck this water. Like, but. I'm going to fuck this water. Yeah. Like, but... I'm going to fuck this bottle. Yeah. My mom told me that she was in Argentina, like, when her youth and traveled there and was with a bellhop. And she was like, cogeme la maleta, which is like, pick up that suitcase. But he was like, okay.

Because she was basically in slang saying, fuck my you know so it's just but like there's like and there's also like severity of words like joder is the word like there's so many ways to say fuck of course in every language but joder in spain is like is saying fuck it's like going like oh fuck but like when you say it in peru it's a it's a softer it's not taken as severely so it's not it's not read the same way you're not saying you're saying uh like you're complaining but you're like i don't it's like it's taken as like oh don't mess with me wow you know so like even when i would say when I would go to Spain, like they were like, damn, you curse a lot. I was like, really? And then, you know, we went over that one.

And then like six months later, they were like, you actually do curse a lot all the time. And I was like, yeah, that's probably right. Do you do stand up in Spanish when you? I've done bits and stories where like I involve both English and Spanish, but I haven't done. and stories where I involve both English and Spanish, but I haven't done... There's a show now here in L.A. that they're doing. I think even at the store has had it once where some of the Spanish-speaking comics here

have done a full show in Spanish here in L.A. Francisco Ramos, Felipe did it, Esparza. What's the other guy? Torres. Didn't Joey do it? I don't know if Joey did it. Joey used to do Spanglish in Miami. He would do Cuban,

Spanish, plus English, and it was impossible to follow. Yeah. Because the audiences were, there's so many Cuban people in the audience and he would hit punchlines in Spanish and people would literally just throw chairs through windows

and he would just jump through the ceiling. People were, he would crush so hard. It's so great. I middled once in Miami and did, you know, used every trick

and to get through the set, because it's such a chaotic club. The club was insane. It was totally insane Yeah, and I was doing stuff and talking to this lady I would you know I would hit a punchline in Spanish and then say something back to this guy's Spanish then go back to English Do like your best bit and then something else in Spanish and it was so crazy for me at the time like I never

Experienced a 20-minute set like that that guy, the headliner after me did 35 minutes and split. Like he was just like, good night. Because it was, he was a white guy and it was like not. No, it wasn't happening. Once they got that flavor. Yeah. Because it was like, it's the most, I mean, that, that room that didn't hold that many

people. No. How many? Like 300? I think less. I think probably less, maybe like 275 or something. And it had like, you know, there were Haitians in there, Colombians, Cubans, Puerto Ricans. I mean, it was such a mix of people.

Yeah. And if you start giving them a little bit of flavor, yeah. And they let people in there that were like 18 too. 18. They let people in with guns. They let all kinds of people in. It was the Miami Improv. It was the worst club to work. They're reopening in a people in. It was the Miami Improv. It was the worst

club to work. They're reopening in a new location. Good luck. It's too late. I don't know. I hope it works out. They ruined that area. I don't know. That was Coconut Grove. And now they're opening in Doral, I think. Miami's just so crazy. It's such an interesting place.

It's so different than any other place. I did Miami right before I did my Netflix special and they were were using those yonder bags you had to put your cell phone in a yonder bag yeah so you couldn't use it while you were inside the sure so you know what they did you could leave the room and use the yonder bag yeah right so these the entire set it was the only place where the entire set people just kept coming and going they just kept leaving and coming back they had to be on their phones. There was so many people doing it. There might have been dozens of people at any point in time walking around, coming and going,

going outside to use their phone and then coming back in. It was chaos. Yeah. The phone thing, I don't know that there's a real good solution yet. I did the Yonder thing in New Orleans, and that place wasn't too big, but it was still, you could tell, like, you know, it's inconvenient for them. It's a long thing to go through. But then you're like, then you have people coming and going in and out of the showroom because they want to use their phone.

It's a fucking nightmare, man. But if they don't, if they just sit there and just tune into the show, it's greater. It's like 10% better. I think so, too. Yeah. But it's hard to impose that on people, too. I know. It's a surprise when people don't know.

They're like, I'm doing what with my phone? Yeah. They get mad. You're going to put it in a bag. It's still going to be on you. And you can use it as long as you leave this room. They're like, I don't know, man. I need to check my phone every 18 seconds.

Yeah. Yeah, I had to let people know. But there's some people that just want to film everything, too. When you get on stage, you see people just standing there while you're doing your set, and they're holding a phone up, filming you. You're making this whole thing so much weirder. Do you understand what you're doing? You're basically like a TMZ guy at the airport.

They're watching a show like this. Holding it up in front of them. Like they're not even looking at you. Especially for comedy, too. I went to, of all things, a daddy-daughter dance with my daughter. And it was the weirdest thing. Every guy was dancing with their little kids like this. And I realized, though, why they were doing it.

It wasn't about the moment. I mean, a little bit. But it was more about that if you have that phone out and you're looking at that screen and you're doing that, it sort of keeps everything else out. It makes you feel like you're having this little moment instead of having to be this awkward thing of like you're dancing in front of these other grown men. Oh, yeah. I don't think it's that, honestly. I think you're just trying to capture these moments. You know, you're painfully aware that they're only going to be six for a year.

Yeah, but not all night. You know what I mean? Because it's like that's the problem is that you wind up as a parent, you wind up with all this video that you're never going to watch because – But you're thinking logically. Yeah, maybe. People aren't – they're just collecting video. You know, they're just collecting. They're like hoarders.

Well, the thing that made me think of it, though, is that I was more comfortable when I had the phone on. I was like, oh, yeah, because I feel like I'm doing something. Like I'm not just dancing. I feel like I'm just doing this thing. I'm doing like a parental kind of thing. I'm just documenting my cute kid. But then when I put the phone away, I felt a lot more exposed. I'm like, okay.

Awkward white guy dancing. It was painful for everybody. Doing your dad dance. Doing my, oh, it's terrible. And every guy there had the same feeling, I'm sure. But I was just like, nope, I'm not going to do it. I'm putting my phone away. This is stupid.

Tell you what, though, man. You go back and look at those videos from when your kid was really little little and it does freak you out like they're they're really valuable powerful videos yeah videos of your kids when they're really young they're so there's a video of my daughter when she was she was wearing a diaper i think she's probably just a little over one and we're walking through the airport and i'm pulling a uh one of those little roller bags and, and she's behind it pushing it because she liked to push it. And her legs are like that tall. Yeah. And she's a little diaper butt, and she's pushing this thing.

And we tell her, hey, we're going to go to a toy store. And she's like, oh. And she puts her hands together, and she pushes the bag again. But it's like the most adorable. I've watched that video 100 times easily. Yeah. It's like that video will forever be stained in my brain yeah well we've got these videos too there's an inch there's a really interesting thing

we were starting to get there earlier in our conversation but there's an interesting thing that happens when you adopt kids particularly kids that are already walking and talking when they come into your life you go through this really chaotic adjustment period because nobody knows each other and it's very it's just it's just so awkward for everybody involved and and there's there's there's so much to it but it's a really difficult time for everybody but then when you have that when you get on the other side of it and you're really falling in love with your kids and you can feel that they're falling in love with you and you're becoming this family we have these video we went on this trip back to Wisconsin where I'm from.

And when we were just, things were really starting to come together before this trip. And then when we went on the trip, the kids, like you're describing the kid pushing the suitcase, like they have to stay a little tighter with you because you're in airports and you're driving and you're going to like a cabin and doing these things. And by the time we got back, we were a family. We knew, my wife and I were like, back, we were a family. Like we knew my wife and I were like, wow, we're, we're, we're like a real family now. Like we love these kids so much and we can tell they love us. And it's an amazing thing. So we have videos from that trip and those

videos, like you're saying are just like gold, you know, there's, it's so amazing to see this moment. You remember that bonding. Yeah. That's a, it's to be such an intense feeling to realize that these kids could have gone in some terrible direction. I mean, when you're six years old, you're so – anything can happen. Yeah. Anything can go wrong. And instead, they got so lucky and they found you. found you. I mean, it's like, what an incredibly positive thing that is that you've done and incredibly positive thing for their lives that they came in contact with you and so fortunate. I mean, it's amazing. But for our lives too, and we didn't know it for a while. You know,

we had that period where we were like, you really feel like for a while there, like, okay, we've, we've done a good thing here and we're going to suffer for it for the rest of our lives. And then, but then as it comes online, I had this one more, I think I told you this, but I had this one moment that, and I'm not this kind of guy. I don't think of myself as this kind of guy, but after all of this, just frustration and craziness and, and, uh, the kids would wake up really early every morning and they would be out in the hallway throwing things at each other and arguing and whatever. And you, you're so sleep deprived and you're just so like, you know, over it. And one morning I woke up, I think it was a Sunday and it was quiet in the room. My wife was still asleep and it was like

around the time where the kids are normally up. And I woke up and I thought, Oh wow, it's quiet in here. And then I had this just overwhelming feeling that I couldn't even identify at first. And then I thought, Oh, shit, I miss them right now. Like, I'm actually waiting for them to come in the room and wake us up. And that was that was really a big moment for me where I was like, wow, I've turned a big corner here. And that what you get from them and that those kinds of feelings is pretty incredible. Is it strange seeing the the movie like thinking that this is based on not just your life experience but also based on your interaction with some kids that you never wound up adopting yeah it's well and also i met like i said i met a bunch of families along the way and some of the there's

this young girl named marie green who became a consultant on the movie because she grew up in foster care she was adopted as a teenager she's an amazing kid. She goes to UCLA right now. And, and so I know either my own stories or other people's stories. I can associate them with really specific kids. So the thing that's embarrassing is that I'm taking the movie all over the country and I've seen the movie like a thousand times now. And anytime I watch it with an audience, I get emotional watching the movie. I mean, the movie's really funny, but it's got some really emotional moments. And it's embarrassing because it looks like, oh, I'm getting so broken up by my own movie. But it's really because I'm thinking about my own kids or I'm thinking about

these real kids that I've met along the way. So it's pretty great. I got to tell you this, and I know I'm in it and I'm amazing in it, but I'm saying we went to the screening like a month or two ago, and Christina and I get there, and we run into Mark right away. So he's like, you haven't seen this? And I go, no. He's like, it's really, man, it's really good. And I was like, yeah, I keep hearing it's good.

And he's like, no. He was prepping me for how emotional he gets in it. He goes, I'm in some violent stuff that's awesome, but this I'm in. And he's like, I couldn't help but get emotional about it. And I was like, okay. I'm like, all right. And then I sit there and watch it. And then I look over.

Christina's crying in parts of the movie. I start getting emotional in parts of the movie. I mean, it's like he actually, I'll say this. You did a really good job of balancing those emotional moments with the comedy. So, I mean, I don't know how you do it. But, like, the back and forth of it was, like, a perfect balance. And I think it's a great movie.

I mean, everybody who's seen it that has said anything to me is just, like, blown away by the movie. Yeah, well, and that balance of comedy and drama was what we worked on. That was the number one thing we worked on through every draft and everything. It's great, man.

It is really fun to watch with an audience because they do get emotionally caught up in it but we're always coming back and giving them a laugh where they need it you know and if this is a hit do you think they're going to want to dig down to other aspects of your personal life try to pull out this is all i got this is blue star airlines for me this is like what is blue star airlines uh you know in wall street when charlie sheen couldn't sell anything to Gordon Gekko, and then he's like, well, what about Blue Star Airlines? Because he had the tip from his dad, because his dad was like a mechanic at Blue Star Airlines. That's been kind of the running joke that this is the only interesting thing in my life. So I've already, you know, gone there.

And it's just, you know, when this happens, you know, and you become part of that adoption community as well. So it really becomes a big part of who you are and who your family is and that kind of thing. So, you know, this, this is all I got. I got this and then making movies. This must be a different movie for you though. I mean, you, I'm sure you love your other movies, but this one's got to be a really different feel. It's really different. Cause I, you know, I was talking about sex drive before. And the reason why that one always has a special place in my heart is because it was my first real Hollywood movie. And I was just, it was just such an amazing experience to just be this bumpkin from out of

nowhere, making this movie with all this budget. And it was great, but I've had great experiences on all the movies that I've made, but this one's totally different. It's a different tone. It has more drama. It has more gravity to it. It's about something that is really, really important to me. And it's really funny. And we have people like Tom in the movie. And Tom is, I mean, you know, we're joking, but he is really funny in the movie. I believe you. I think he's a funny guy.

Yeah, he's a funny guy. I really do. Thanks, man. I've been telling people that for years, but I haven't been lying. It was fun to do, man. It was, I've been telling people that for years, but I haven't been lying. It was fun to do, man. It was really a thrill. We just became one of those,

one of those morning shows. No, but I'll tell you this though. The, the camaraderie on that thing was another thing that was really fun. Cause you go to a different, we went to Atlanta and we have like this great group every day where we have like,

you know, you have the big stars, but then like people i mentioned like margo and them uh and julie michael alan brit jody and we would just like it was like it is kind of like being in a camp or something you know which for me was the first experience well and what you don't know is that and what a lot of people who work in movies a lot of times that that so much of the the um the camaraderie of the set is set by kind of number one number two on the call sheet like whoever the big movie stars are in your movie

sometimes you know you you hear these stories a lot of stories steven seagal yeah oh dude but just people walking on eggshells around you know whoever the you know and when you have people like mark and rose were really cool and just really easy to deal with, everybody, everybody just is so much more relaxed and having a really good time when, you know, and then, I mean, you know, I'll take some credit for it myself too, because John and I try to run a really happy set and we just try to have. Definitely, man. Definitely.

You guys are so like, you guys are low maintenance types, youance types, you know? Like, you're, like, the type of people, like, it feels. I took you, just to show you, like, how unpretentious he is. When I got the part, I was, like, we'd been speaking about the part and other things. And then, you know, I'll get an email about rehearsal at Paramount. And I would just call Sean, like, the director. I'm, like, hey, is rehearsal at 10? And he's, like, yeah. I Sean, like the director, I'm like, hey, is rehearsal at 10? And he's like, yeah.

I'm like, where do I park? He's like, I think in the, there's a lot that they'll tell you where to go. And I'm like, okay. And I'd hang up and I'd be like, I'm just calling the director of like a major picture, like, where do I park? You know? And he was never like, fucking figure it out. You know?

He was just like, yeah, it it's fine just call me if you need parking directions it's totally fine is it out right now? it comes out Friday beautiful I think we can wrap this thank you man

thanks for doing this thanks for making the movie thanks for hiring my friend by the way I wanted to tell you before we cut out, that video that you did share that you were talking about before. Of the little girl got a doctor. The little girl. When that went out, we were in this process of discussing the movie and how to kind of get the message out on the movie.

And I got that video. I saw it on your thing, and I immediately sent it to everybody associated with the movie. And I was like, you guys, this is our movie. It's right here in this video. It's right here in that girl's and I was like you guys this is our movie it's right here in this video it's right here in that girl's face that's it that's our movie that was really helpful I'm glad you had sent that out oh I could not

when I got a hold of that video was so intense it was so amazing anyways sorry I know you were trying to wrap it up no worries man no this is it Instant Family out Friday go see, you fucks. Go see it. Bye, everybody.

Thanks.