The Joe Rogan Experience - #1210 - Tom Papa

Episode Date: December 4, 2018

Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. He is the host of the podcast "Come To Papa."

Interesting how promotions work. Yeah. Here we go. Four, three, two, one. So Tom Pop and I are sitting here, and I say, did you see the fight on Saturday night? And he said, the guy that got knocked down, mental health guy. The mental health guy? The guy who got up for everyone with mental health?

But he said, no, I didn't see the fight. I only saw that. This is how narratives work. You know what I mean? In this day and age especially, there's way too much information out there, right? There's no way you could see every television show or watch every sporting event or know every scandal. So when something happens, it's like, oh, the blurb, the little summary that I have

absorbed. My one buddy watched it on instagram he posted a thing and it was very heartfelt that he got up for all the people with mental health yeah and i read that and i feel like i experienced the whole thing but you know it's funny i don't know if he won or lost i know he got a draw it was a draw yeah it was a draw okay and uh i don't have a firm opinion on whether or not the the draw was justified because i only watched it once i thought i thought that tyson fewer won most of the rounds except the two that he got knocked down in tyson's the anti-mental health guy no he's the white guy oh he's the white guy

he's the white guy that got knocked down okay and dionte wilder it's he's it is he's strange in that he has the most freaky punching power I think I've ever seen ever. That's what I heard too. He's not a big guy. I mean, for a heavyweight, he's 212 pounds.

He looks pretty big though. Oh, he's jacked. Yeah. But he's shredded. He has no fat on him whatsoever. His back is where all the power is and that's where his muscle is. You see his back.

It's just a bundle of snakes. His back is huge. When I saw the clip, he knocked him out and then backed up and did a little dance. Yeah, and Tyson got up. Yeah, that guy looked pretty badass. But fuck that guy, Wilder punches so hard. And that was in the 12th and final round of a fight where he was mostly losing. He was mostly getting boxed up.

He was mostly getting outboxed. But then he would land, and he landed real hard and like what was it like the eighth or the ninth something like that something like that he dropped him but that wasn't a big knockdown right he knocked him down but he got up pretty quick and he was he was okay but in the 12th he fucking blasted him right he hit him with a right hand and then as he was falling he hit him with a left hook on the chin as he was going down and he laid flat on his back with his arms down. He looked unconscious. Yeah, he really did. And then he rose

like Lazarus. I know. And he looked pretty sharp when he got on his feet. He won the rest of the round. Yeah. He won the rest of the round and stung him. He stung Deontay Wilder. It was crazy. Because of the mental health kids. Yes. He was doing it for the mental health people. You think that's really what he was thinking when you're getting up off the canvas?

I'm doing it for the kids? I would never doubt him. Yeah. Because he really does. He's a very unusual guy. And he donated his entire purse to charity. Wow. All of it.

Like $8 million. Really? Yeah. Yeah. He donated all of it to charity. Holy cow. Yeah. That's great.

He's a fucking really unusual guy. Yeah. That's great. He's a fucking really unusual guy. He's been in here. He was in the podcast when he was gearing up for the fight. So I should call him the super nice mental health guy. He's a very nice guy. Very nice guy. Is he big? Giant.

6'9". 6'9"? So when you're sitting here, you feel like he's a giant. But he's a super sweetheart. Very friendly guy. Jeez. Yeah, really well-spoken. You know, he's got that heavy traveler's accent. He's a giant but he's a super sweetheart very friendly guy jeez yeah really well spoken you know he's got that like heavy traveler's accent he's a traveler had he made money before oh yeah

he's a world champion so he's like he was a world champion he's got bank and uh almost killed himself in a ferrari almost uh committed suicide he was just headed towards a bridge he was just gonna fucking either slam into the bridge or drive off the bridge that was his yeah he was going 160 miles an hour like headed towards the bridge and he changed his mind that's what he looked like before he started his comeback what yeah he was 300 pounds what 300 plus right how much did he say he was i want to say 485 but yeah something crazy because he saying 300, but that doesn't make any sense. 180 kilograms, so 180 times 2.2. That's like, what is that? Close to 400 pounds, I think.

Oh, my God. So he was champ, then he fell off and became that chubby? Well, what happened was he beat Vladimir Klitschko, who was a longtime heavyweight champion. I mean, Vladimir Klitschko was the champ forever. Yeah. And he outboxed him, like soundly outboxed him and beat him. And then was like, now what?

And went into a depression and started drinking hard, partying hard, a lot of cocaine, and just fucked his life up. Because he achieved what he wanted to achieve. I mean, he's calling it mental health, you know, because of depression and all those things. But part of me wants to say that a lot of that is, I mean, I don't know, obviously I've never been inside of his head,

but when you're doing that much coke and drinking that much, that has got to be a major factor in why you feel like shit. And then the letdown of this incredible achievement,

becoming the heavyweight champion of the world, beating this guy who hadn't been beat in a long time, many, many years. And then just partying too hard and then getting into a horrible funk and then deciding to come back. There's always that part of it where you know that you have that,

there are those personalities and there's genetics involved and he gets you into the drugs. But then the drugs start going to work on your brain, and then it becomes something different. It becomes, you know, it's no longer your own consciousness that's working. It's this sponge that just absorbed all of these toxins. And who knows what's misfiring, what's happening at that point. We say that as we drink wine. Cheers.

Cheers. Happy holidays. Thank you for this. We do a little heroin on the holidays. Whatever. A little fucking meth. I was going as we drink wine. Cheers. Cheers. Happy holidays. Thank you for this. Yes. Do a little heroin on the holidays. Whatever. A little fucking meth. I was going to bring you some wine today. This was nice of you to open this.

This is good stuff, whatever this is. I don't know jack shit about wine. I learned a great method for Thanksgiving about wine. What's the method? I went to this place in LA. It's called 2020 Wine.

It's like this. It looks like Raiders of the lost dark it's on the on the 405 and uh you just walk in it's just wine this huge room racks and stuff it's so elegant it's just like this great place to be it's cool it's like temperature wise it's like it's great and it's intimidating because they have you know i don't know that much about wine. I want to, but, and I realized this was my strategy and it worked out perfectly. I went to the guy who works there and I said, look, I have 12 people coming over for Thanksgiving. Show me a $20 bottle of wine or less that I can buy a bunch of for my friends. That's going to blow everyone away.

And he lit up like a Christmas tree it's like this is what he wants to do it's like yeah there's 200 bottle dollar bottles of wine we know what that is I'm gonna come with me and there it is and he took me into the back and he found these he's like this one's from Spain. $18. No one knows it exists. The best wine I've had all year. Another one, this Italian Barolo that nobody knows about. And look at this. It's only $12 a bottle because nobody knows.

We have extra cases. It became like his. Of course, that's what a wine guy wants to do. Turn you on. Is the wine thing that a name is just as important as how good it is? Sure. Yeah. Like when people, you know, an Opus One or a Caymus or like, we all know that because that's like the Mercedes of wines.

Cigars are like that as well. I know more about cigar. I don't know much about cigars, but I know more about cigars than I know about wine. And like everybody wants a Cuban. Oh, yeah. A Cohiba. Yeah. Oh, Monte Cristo.

Everybody wants something that's hard to get. Yeah, but I was like, oh, this is how you should do it. Find a good wine shop and go to the guy who's waiting to be asked that question. Yeah. And he's so excited to show you what he learned. And he works in a wine shop, so he's not spending $500 for a bottle either. He knows the good shit. My buddy Mark De La Grata and I were in Florida.

We were eating at this very nice Italian restaurant with a bunch of people from the UFC. for a bottle either. He knows the good shit. Me and my buddy, my buddy Mark De La Grata and I were in Florida. We were eating at this very nice Italian restaurant with a bunch of people from the UFC. Yeah. And we just said, let's get a nice bottle of wine.

You ever have a nice bottle of wine? I'm like, I've had good bottles of wine, but this place had like bottles of wine from the 70s. Right. So I said, all right,

let's go fucking crazy. And I bought a bottle of wine from 1974. Oh my God. This is better. This is better. This one's better it was like it was weird i mean like i guess if you're a real connoisseur like part of it is like roberto

duran was the champ when this was bottled there's like stuff there's stuff about it i was in the third grade there's something about it mrs mcm Mrs. McMillan. But it was like, it felt like it had less alcohol. And I think that's one of the things that maybe happens, the flavor starts to morph and change. It just felt less potent. Yeah. Almost more watered down. It wasn't that good. I didn't enjoy it.

I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it. Right. And you probably paid a lot for it. It was like $1,000. Yeah. I'm not joking. Yeah. I think it, but I didn't love it. Right. And you probably paid a lot for it. It was like $1,000. Yeah. I'm not joking. Yeah. I think it was a $1,000 bottle of wine.

I'm telling you. So stupid. On Thanksgiving, it was $18 bottles of wine. It's probably way better than what I had. And blowing our heads off. Yeah. Probably way better. So great.

Yeah. I try and learn about it. And there are certain wines, they say, like there's certain Brunellos that like those should age. And those you can go like 20 years. And they are certain wines, they say, like there's certain Brunellos that like, those should age and those you can go like 20 years and, you know, they'll get even better at 30

and then there's other wines at that same amount of time, they'll go sour and they'll get funky. So it's so hard to tell. There's apps. Yeah. There's an app that I have.

I've never fucking opened it once. I have. But I downloaded it. It's like Vino. The Vino. Oh, you almost went down with that. Right on the board. Oh, it's got a powerful lid nice because that was like headed towards the board james name he's not even drinking i don't fuck with laptops in front of me anymore

i've learned my lesson i was doing a show on saturday my friend had a laptop she had a glass of water and a salad on like the keyboard i'm like, what are you doing? How confident are you? It's like having a gun on your baby's head. Sit the gun here. Rest your head on the gun. Separate it. No, but this was such a great way to do it. You can focus in on one kind of wine and really kind of learn it,

and that's a lot. That would be a lot of studying. To learn all of wine and go into a fancy restaurant and be like, I'm just going to pick from the – you can. Right, right. You know. Yeah. I think it's one of those things where you really have to talk to someone who's put in the time. Yes.

Totally. Yeah. Here's something that I know a lot about. Pool cues. Right. I know a lot about pool cues. Right. So if you come to me and um you know you

say hey i'm thinking about buying this pool cue what do you think i'll go okay well here's what you need to know like that's a that's a very expensive pool cue and it's expensive because it's a collector's item because the guy who makes it is dead however in terms of like how it plays it does not play any better than a pool cue that costs one small fraction of what that costs and i could turn you on to a bunch of custom pool cue makers that make a really good cue for like a fraction of what you would pay for that cue and i'm telling you like you would play with this cue and be happy with it for the rest of your life but it'll cost you you know five hundred dollars as opposed to there's cues that are fifteen thousand twenty thousand dollars and up there's queues that are $15,000, $20,000 and up. They're like the really ornate and beautiful ones. And this is a lifetime, your adult lifetime of learning about this.

Oh, man. You've been immersed. I started playing pool in 1990-ish, 91, 1991. That's when I probably bought my first pool queue. What's a good pool queue for bumper pool? My neighbors had a bumper pool table when I was a kid. It was badass. It's pretty stupid.

It was so stupid. Such a dumb game. My friend, the older brother, Mark, he was the dominant one because he was able to jump over the bumpers and get on the other side. It's called cheating. Cheating. Yeah, jumping is a very controversial thing in the world of pool. You're not allowed to jump? Well, you can, but it's hacked.

There's jumping and then there's bar table jumping, right? Like when you play with people on a bar, they think they're jumping the pool cue, but what they're doing is they're scooping under the cue ball with their tip. Like they go under it and it sort of makes the cue ball pop up in the air.

It's really like miscueing is what it's like. It's a foul. The way you're supposed to jump a ball is shoot down on it and make it hop over. Uh-huh. What's the matter, Jamie?

Have you seen this before? Yeah, that's a McDermott. It's like called the Excalibur or some shit like that. That's a pool cue? It is, but it isn't. It's foolish. It looks like a sickle that the Grim Reaper comes to take you away with.

Well, this was a cue that was made a long time ago. It was made back in the fucking 90s or something. But that's not the most expensive pool cue in the world. Is that whole thing the cue? It says it's sold for $150,000. That's not the most expensive cue in the world. No. No, the most expensive cue in the world is a Gina cue.

Gina cue is actually right here in North Hollywood. They call it the most expensive Q in the world. Is that whole thing the Q? It's nonsense. That's not really- Or is that a stand in a Q? See, it's a Q. That whole, all the blades and everything like that.

What would you do with that? It's nonsense. It's nonsense. I'm telling you, it's nonsense. It's nonsense. It's nonsense. It's like having a car and you decide to glue diamonds on it. It's fucking stupid.

It's the most expensive car in the world. It costs a billion dollars. Shut the fuck up. That cue weighs nine and a half pounds. You know what a real cue weighs? A very heavy cue, very heavy, is 21 ounces. If you find out that a pro plays with a 21 ounce cue, you're like, wow. That's heavy.

Rarely a guy will play with a 24 ounce cue and you're like, wow, that guy's crazy. What was that? That fucking thing is nine and a half pounds. That's stupid. That piece of shit. like rarely a guy will play with a 24 ounce cue and you're like wow that guy's crazy and what was that thing is nine and a half pounds that's that piece of shit that's like the those the women that get the the gigantic hefty uh hippity hops for boobs it's like everyone's getting big and then that one you're like all right like triple z boobs yeah that's just not a real pool cue what's the one in in north hollywood well he makes genic his the one in North Hollywood? Well, he makes... His name is Ernie Gutierrez, and he makes all sorts...

I have one of his cues. Oh, yeah? That's Ernie right there. He makes... I mean... Wasn't he married to Cher? No, that's Sonny Bono. That guy's dead.

You're an asshole. I got to end this podcast now. Ernie is... I mean, he's like a real innovator in the world of pool cues he makes beautiful beautiful that is beautiful but he had one that he made that was filled with like i don't want to say what the material was but i believe it had an ivory handle the handle was made out of solid ivory and i think it had gold and all sorts of other shit in it but it went for a half a million dollars it's worth a half a million dollars but I think the deal is that he won't sell it.

He's very wealthy. He does really well. All from that? All from making pool cues? Yeah. His pool cues, like in Japan and all throughout Asia, they're really revered. He can sell his stuff anywhere. His cues are very expensive on the aftermarket, too.

He makes them all by hand? That kind of thing well he designs them all and then he uses um computer controlled machines they're called cnc machines to put everything together and piece it so that everything's perfect wow yeah but they're all like his designs and is that like 3d printing no no it's um it's what it is is like you have a design and you put it into this computer and you put the, I don't know 100% of the process, but you put your, the specifications, like how wide you want inlays to be and they make them exactly the same size and the points fit exactly the same way. Wow. Yeah. It's all super complicated stuff but the point is like if you

were a guy who wanted to buy a pool cube and you just you know went to a website right you're you're lost you're lost like me trying to buy one in a wine shop yeah i don't know what the fuck i'm looking at right exactly yeah it's weird yeah this is good wine, though. What is this? It's very good. This says Chateau Vigneux. Ooh. I didn't know you spoke French. I do. I do. Oui, oui.

You see, Paris is going crazy right now. They've been having these crazy riots. No. What's up? Every time I think about visiting Paris, there's some new shit that goes down over there. I know. It kind of feels like a little, like a jewel box that is about to explode all the not good man you know it's not good is it workers what kind of riot well the weird thing is everyone is rioting is wearing those um reflective vests what like see that yeah that's

right now yep they're wearing these yellow reflective vests and lighting things on fire and smashing stores so like like Gucci and these, these protesters, they've been going scroll back up. So it says 17 pictures. Oh, it's terrible. And it keeps getting worse.

It keeps getting worse. I mean, it started November 17th when French drivers sporting yellow vests led a demonstration. Apparently it has to do with oil prices, rising, rising fuel prices. 280,000 people.

Four people have died. Hundreds have been injured. Thousands of dollars worth of property has been damaged. The protests started November 17th when French drivers sporting yellow vests led a demonstration of 280,000 people across the country to push back against the rising taxes on gas and diesel. What? French President Emmanuel Macron. Macron. I love a nice Macron.

As part of his many economic reforms, announced the gas taxes early this year to minimize France's reliance on fossil fuels. That's a fucking shitty way to handle reliance on fossil fuels. You do the opposite, you cunt face. What? You don't charge people money. You don't charge people extra money And make it more expensive You give them subsidies for electric cars You stupid prick

Don't you understand the American way You piece of shit I love talking like real authoritative About things I know nothing about What does it say Scroll back to where it was The price of fuel That's it 30 cents a gallon.

They went crazy. 30 cents a gallon. They're trying to kill people. Gas already costs about $7 per gallon in France. Fuck that, man. So it's just going to break people's backs, and they're not going to be able to drive them to their bread shop. Do you remember when Bush was leaving office, and they jacked the fucking price of gas way

up? Yeah. Dude. But there's people that were panicking. Yeah. You know. September 11th there was lines everywhere because we thought it was going to just empty. No more gas.

I don't think the price radically went up. Some places were charging like $25 a gallon. Assholes. They should go to jail. Assholes. That's kind of insane. People used to have riots like that when wheat would spike and people couldn't eat.

Whoa, look at this. They're lighting cars on fire. Oh, my God. That's a shitty little car anyway. The guy probably wanted to light it on fire. Yeah, finally. He's not even part of the protest. He just happened to light his car on fire that day.

Somebody was telling me about this. Somebody was telling me about this. I was at a little kid's party. I was talking to one of the dads. this somebody was telling me about this i was at a little kids party i was talking one of the dads and he was telling me um about this uh thing that happened this i think it was in northern california it was a fire fuck it might not have been northern california was a fire and um the initially they thought it was just a fire but then the the CEO and his vice president were, both of their houses caught fire.

So then they thought it was like an attack on both people. And then they realized, no, it was a murder. And one of the guys killed the guy and his family and then lit his house on fire and then went back to his house and lit his own house on fire to make it look like they were going after both of them. And he's the only one that survived? Yeah. Whoopsies.

That just happened in New Jersey. Was it in New Jersey? Maybe that was it. A guy murdered his whole family. No, his own family. Yeah. And then lit the house on fire. Then maybe that's it.

Maybe I'm getting a fucked up version of the story. I get drunk at kid parties too. Oh, it's the only way to go by. Family massacre disguises a massive fire in New Jersey. Yeah, that's it up version of the story. I get drunk at kid parties, too. Oh, it's the only way to go by. Family masker disguises a massive fire in New Jersey. Yeah, that's it. This is the story. So make that a little larger, please. It says there was more than a brotherly bond between Paul and Keith.

Yeah, that's right. What part of New Jersey? That's where I'm from. They shared businesses, vacationed together, and settled about 11 miles from each other in the suburbs of New Jersey. But two days before Thanksgiving, a horrific chain of events would forever tear them apart. Oh, his brother?

Yeah, that's what it is. Oh, man. So I was getting a really fucked up version of this story. Paul, how do you say that name? Canario? Caniero. Caniero? Caniero.

Caniero. The Caniero brothers. He's accused of killing his youngest brother, his sister-in-law, and their children. Oh. This is what's fucked up. Like, what? What?

How does a guy go from never killing anybody to killing a wife and daughter? So he killed his brother and his brother's whole family. Yeah. Oh, my. I thought he killed his own family. Then he set his own home on fire with his wife and daughter inside. Tried to make it look as if the whole family had been targeted. His family got out of the home safely.

Can you imagine the panic? What the fuck, man? You just murdered these people. You run back and you light your own house on fire. Can you imagine while you're lighting your house on fire thinking like the intensity of this is going to work. I'm going to get out of this. This is where the plan goes and poof. Well, what's really fucked up is how does a person kill?

I mean, I understand you're mad at a guy and you fucking hate each other. Fuck you. Fuck you. And you start fighting and then you wind up killing each other. How do you kill his wife and daughters? How do you do that? What switch goes on like is he just trying to yeah because he's just walking around go back up it says it's killed

his sister-in-law it said he's accused of killing his younger brother his sister-in-law and their children like how many children like who would he killed kids yeah so this is a guy who's never murdered anybody just walking around colts Neck Township, New Jersey. Yeah. He's a businessman. Probably never done anything really major in his life. Right. Probably, like, was at a business meeting, like, two days before with some guy.

What the fuck, man? Just living his life, talking about the Giants. Like, what the fuck? What is that? His wife and his two daughters. Oh, my God. Oh, several twists in the case oh no look at that look at that he then allegedly set his own home on fire with his wife and his daughters inside did you not hear me say that i thought you were talking about his his brother's family no no he killed his brother and his family set the house on family on fire

then lit his own house on fire to make it look like he was being targeted. I knew that, but I didn't know he had kids in his house. Yeah, it says his wife and his daughters were inside. Oh my God. To try to make it look as if his whole family was being targeted, his brother and him. Oh my God. His family got out of the home safely. Wow.

Fucking unbelievable. Think about his kids. Right now we're like, did dad what yeah what jesus christ he oh my god what a monster was killed before sunrise scroll up there somewhere between midnight and 5 a.m paul kenny arrow was walking around his brother's 1.5 million dollar colt's neck home armed with a knife and a gun. Ay, yi. Brothers been in front of the White Mansion when a deadly confrontation unfolded.

Paul fired multiple shots, striking Keith. Fucking A. When you got mad at me for not following the story clearly, did you feel like you could kill me? No, not yet. I need more. I need more. Jesus Christ. He walked inside Found his wife

Found Keith's wife Jennifer He shot and stabbed her And then stabbed their children Jesse 11 and Sophia 8 What the fuck man What the hell Then he took some documents And set a fire in the basement

What were they doing like the week before He fucking stabbed an 8 year old dude An 8 year old girl In her sleep How the fuck does someone what were they doing like the week before? He fucking stabbed an eight-year-old dude. An eight-year-old girl. In her sleep. How the fuck does someone... In her sleep. Did it say in her sleep? Well, it was 5 a.m.

It doesn't matter, man. There's gunshots in the house. The kids might have gotten up. Oh, my God. Good Lord. What a monster. A monster. What was this guy like the month before?

Like, what the hell? Look at that normal-looking house. Shit, that is the normalest-looking normal house ever. Do you believe that there is always a presence of good and evil in the world? Like, that it's not just evil deeds. What this guy did was evil. Like that it's not just evil deeds. What this guy did was evil.

But do you believe that there is a real presence of evil that it's like a thing that takes over people or takes over – you know what I mean? Like – Like good and evil. Is that more than just people's actions or is it like a force of nature? Is there a good force of nature and an evil force of nature that is constantly using people and using things as a catalyst or as an instrument? Let's break this down. I don't think nature is the right way to approach it because I don't think there's good or evil in nature. I think nature is actually far more moral than humans are because with nature

it's just about survival, right? It's predators and prey and they kill things and eat things but when animals in nature kill like what they call surplus killings where wolves will kill

like 18 elk and not eat them, they're just going on their instincts. These things are there to be killed and they can get them because they can't run away Maybe it's thick snow or something like that

So they just can't help it, they just tear them apart Because their instincts are They drive them to kill Because that's how they survive That's how their family survives They're killing and they're eating these elk And this is just what they do And even if they kill a bunch of them where they can't eat them

Their instinct is to kill because that's how they survive. It's natural. It's normal. With humans, it's very different. Because with humans, there's consequences, right? And there's law. And there's other humans finding out. So there's deception.

And then there's selfishness. And there's the fear of getting caught. There's selfishness, and there's the fear of getting caught, and then there's your own survival instincts in terms of you don't want to get locked up in jail. You don't want to get caught for something. So I think, if I had to guess, that this guy didn't think he was going to kill this guy's wife and family. He probably didn't even think he was going to kill this guy. They probably got into a heated argument, and they're stupid. And he's a guinea. That's my people. They do stupid. You're argument, and they're stupid. And he's a guinea.

That's my people. Yeah. They do stupid. You're people, too. Guinea arrow. They do stupid shit. They're fiery people. And those fiery people, I swore off Italian girls when I was 21.

I had an Italian girl take a swing at me when I was 21. I was like, that's it for me. I'm done. I'm like, I'm not hitting one back. This is just too fucking kooky. Look, some men and some women are fucking crazy. And I believe in epigenetics. I see how wacky my fucking own kids are. What's epigenetics?

Epigenetics, well, let's Google it so I don't bust up the actual definition. But essentially, the way I'm using it is that there's certain traits that are not just environmental traits. They're inherited traits and that you hear it. We'll pull it up here. Right. The study, the changes in organisms caused by the modification of gene expression rather

than the alteration of the genetic code itself. There's better, there's better words than that. There's better, uh, better definitions than that.'s better definitions than that the study of heritable changes in gene expression there you go active versus

inactive genes that do not involve changes to the underlying DNA sequence a change in the phenotype without a change in the genotype which in turn affects how cells read the genes oh great now I know less about it interesting I think there's traits

and this is this is a very um this is a very controversial yet um very uh fascinating field of study because what they're doing is they're they're finding out that children that are twins that are separated by you know when, when they're babies, they go into different foster homes and they're raised by different families, have incredibly remarkably similar characteristics, lives, loves, desires, like what they're interested in, incredibly similar. Yeah. And they're suspecting that a lot of the information like you

we are a combination of nature and nurture i think that's safe to say and i think that there you certainly a lot of things happen to kids when they're young that shape their life whether it's physical or sexual abuse whether it's exposure to violence or whether it's positive things like love and encouragement and and inspiration but there's certain information i think that's transferred from the parent to the child while the child is in the womb and when during during the conception of the child i think there's traits that come from the father and traits that come from the mother biological biologically and i think this is undeniable across species. And I think this is why dogs, like my dog has no fucking idea who his parents are. He doesn't give a shit.

Right. He's not looking for them. He's not looking for them. He's not on 23andme.com. Exactly. I grabbed that leash and he's like, we running today, dad? And his, what are you doing, James?

It's so funny. What's that movie? Have you watched it yet? The Three Ident no i haven't but it's it's about this exact very thing right yeah um did you watch it no i've started to like watch the trailers and stuff was it good i've been waiting for it to come on netflix oh it's on netflix um yeah your dog's not like wonder what my dad's doing now yeah why did he leave me? Yeah. Maybe we could have an awesome house together in the woods. No, but he's got certain instincts.

Like, he lifts up his leg to piss on things. Yeah. You know, he smells things. And he chases squirrels. Like, there's things that are in. He's a retriever, right? He's a golden retriever. So he brings things back. I mean, I had pit bulls before.

And they'll bring things back. But you've got to teach them. They don't want to bring things back. They definitely don't want to let go. What they want to do is play tug-of-war with shit. But he lets things go, and it's natural for him. That soft mouth. Yes.

Out of a black lab. Does the same thing. They hold things gently because they're used to retrieving ducks and pheasants that people shoot. That's what they were raised for. So he brings things back. Like when I get him up in the morning, right, he stays in this little room. And when I get up in the morning at 7 to, you know, take my kids to school and all that stuff, when I open up the door, he whines like crazy. He gets crazy, wags his tail.

Woo, woo, so happy to see you. But the first thing he does is pick up a toy. Yeah. The first thing, he picks up a stuffed animal and comes to me with the stuffed animal in his mouth. Like this is not something that we taught him But this is something that And golden retrievers all around the world

Doing the same exact thing All around the world There's certain traits And I believe that Italians My people My people Mine too I'm mostly Italian

They're savage folk. This is just a fact, man. Yeah. Just a fact. There's a streak. There's a streak. It goes back to the Romans. That's what I really absolutely 100% believe.

Yeah. And that I think there are certain civilizations that have a longer history of being civilized and less violence. and and less violence and i think when you are were you dealing with folks that have in a real history of violence in their culture and that this translates generation to generation and transfers down to the children right and i think this guy is part of that i mean it's like there's not it's not a coincidence that the italian mob so ruthlessly brutal or the russian mob so ruthlessly brutal excuse me no for sure there's definitely that part of it and then there's the other part of it that like you said there's uh there's the

nurture part of it who knows what was going on in this guy's life that you know okay so here we have two italian brothers right yeah raised the same way italian hot streak all this thing and they're working together one brother decided to burn the house down and slaughter the family the other italian guy didn't have that in his to-do list but not necessarily because i don't know if they planned it out or if he did it just because i mean he had a knife on him and a gun maybe he was one of those crazy assholes that brought a knife and a gun everywhere who the fuck knows But they were in business together

And you know people in business together They get crazy and they get real resentful And you know they think one person's not Doing their fair share or one person Fucks up a deal or one person's Costing them money But how the fuck do you kill each other How do you stab a baby man

How do you stab an 8 year old? How do you stab an eight-year-old daughter? Well, you take it in your hand. Yeah, I have no idea. But the Italians also like wine. More wine, please. Someone's drunk. I'll have to give you one of these 0% alcohol Heineken. These are supposed to be the most delicious.

I've never had it. I'm going to try one of these. This is supposed to be the most delicious non-alcoholic beer. Non-alcoholic beer. Non-alcoholic beer. Everybody was recommended. They said that if you want to try a non-alcoholic beer that doesn't suck, get this Heineken Zero Zero. Heineken Zero Zero.

Cheers. It's supposed to be the shit. Tastes like Heineken. It does. There's literally no difference Pretty damn good For non-alcoholic beer It doesn't have that weird

I'm lying to myself Funk to it Yeah it doesn't have that Weird aftertaste If I was a junkie I would not want to try Opiate free heroin Yeah

It tastes just like it It just It just doesn't seem like It'd be a smart move Right. Opiate-free heroin. Yeah. It tastes just like it. It just doesn't seem like it'd be a smart move, but alcoholics will drink non-alcoholic beer. Walk into a liquor store, buy this non-alcoholic beer. Yeah, you're around your demons. You're literally at the gate of hell. Yeah. And the fucking demons are reaching out.

And you're like, no, no, no. No, thank you. I just have this zero, zero. Let me just test myself. Do you think people who are clean are cool with taking CBD? Like, is that? It's a good question. Well, the marijuana thing is different because I think for the vast majority of human beings,

obviously there's a lot of biological diversity, but for the vast majority of human beings, I do not think that marijuana is physically addictive. I think it's entirely possible that for some people it is, but I think for the vast majority of people, it is not physically addictive. It's more psychologically addictive. So I think it's a different thing. So if they're taking CBD, what they're, I mean, it depends on how they're taking it.

If they're rolling up a CBD joint, right? You can dab hits of CBD, which is a little extra do they do that yeah for sure okay oh well but but doesn't some cbd have a little bit of thc that's what i was gonna go with that right some of it well this shit has the tiniest amount of alcohol it says alcohol free but i think it's like what are the calories zero zero point zero four alcohol free Like, 0.04. Alcohol-free beer with natural flavoring. Do you know Heineken is one of the few beers that you can drink if you are a celiac. It does not have wheat. It's not a wheat-based beer.

So if you're gluten-free, you can drink Heineken. Maybe not if you're a celiac. But definitely if you're gluten-free. That's not bad. Yeah. I like it. That's not bad at all free that's not bad yeah i like it that's not bad at all it's not bad but calories of standard half the calories of a standard beer so those other calories are just pure alcohol i guess so yeah right i wonder if it's like a

you know um there's one episode of the opium anthony show now that i remember this oh my god i forgot about this we gave this gal um they had this uh i think it was her name was stalker patty i think that was her name we gave this crazy they you know how radio shows have these regulars yeah always come in the studio yeah well they gave uh this one gal um breath strip, like a standard Listerine breath strip. And this is back in the day when I used to get pot breath strips that would, they would fuck you up so hard. I remember I gave a half of one to Tom Segura and we flew to Florida to do gigs together. And by the time we landed, he's like, dude, I want to tell you something. I almost didn't make it.

I was almost telling these people to turn this flight around. He started freaking out. He was freaking out. Half of a breast strip would put you in an alternative dimension. It was so strong. So we gave this gal a regular breast strip. There's a video of it online.

I found it. Oh, it's like an hour long. Yeah, yeah yeah don't that had no yeah had no weed in it so ari gave her this breath strip and then ari uh proceeded to like to talk to her and she was like talking about how high she was and she's so fucked up she couldn't go anywhere but we all knew that she was sober that, she was, when you're a person who's like a whack packer, Right. There's a high chance there's something,

there's an issue that's not being resolved. Yes. This is not a, Which makes it hard to listen to, frankly. This is not a,

yes. An actualized human being, that would be the term. Yes. This is not an actualized human being. This is not someone who's got their shit together.

No. They're reading self-help books and fucking getting up at five and doing yoga. no they're just trying to get through the day they're barely getting through and they found this thing that makes them that they cling to yeah it's those characteristics are fascinating to me because you saw you find them in other things what do you mean you those characteristics of these people that find something to belong to and then they become a thing. They become a part of that thing. You would find those people at pool halls.

You find those people at martial arts places. You find those people that hang out at comedy clubs. It's like they're a little off, but they find a thing that becomes the thing that they do all the time. Even if they're not like the comedian, they'll hang out at the comedy salon yes right right we know those folks right for sure and i don't i totally get it i mean that's community yes i just want to belong somewhere we all want that thing right just that's where i go and i know those faces and they know me and maybe i'm not totally a part of it but i can go to the pool hall and yes feel like i went i was wanted on my home the pool hall was a perfect place for that because it was a hangout like a lot of people weren't playing right so if you had like three

or four tables going there like so three or four tables would be like uh six or eight people playing pool but there might also be five or six people just hanging out maybe playing cards maybe just you know buying coffee and maybe ordering a sandwich or something like that and just sitting there eating. It's important. I was reading a whole article about that by David Brooks the other day, and he was saying that economically we're richer than we've ever been as a country. And even in the last couple of years, poor people, everyone's standard of living has

gone up, which I wasn't really clear on. I thought that, you know, only the rich people were doing, were getting richer. But everybody was kind of being lifted up, but we're unhappier than ever before. And the life expectancy is lower than ever before. And we're killing ourselves at rates that are higher than ever before. And he was saying that it's that lack of community, rates that are higher than ever before. And he was saying that it's that lack of community, that we don't go to church anymore, we don't belong to those things that gave us meaning every day in our town. And you used to go to church, you'd go to the pool hall, you go to the, you need that sense of belonging. And work is a big part of it. And people now are in this gig

economy and they're working uber they're working seamless they're doing different things they're isolated they're by themselves they're not working with other people and it's he really believes that it's that lack of community and that lack of institutions is why we're very very unhappy as a as a country right now it makes sense to me it makes sense to me as a person who's a part of a vital community um as a comedian you know like i was talking jeff ross was here the other day with david tell and one of the things that he said that really struck with me he said i almost feel like i'm a comedian more than i'm an american i'm like a comedian first well an american second right i was like yeah like if you if you're at the airport and you you know you run into Dave Attell or whoever it is,

it's like there's a light upon them that comes down from heaven. Exactly. It's like, one of mine. Hey. Yeah, you just embrace them. That's why I always get suspicious of comics who didn't embrace me. As soon as you said, I was like, there's something more weird with this guy. Yeah.

There's something off. Or comics that don't have any comic friends. there's a few of those they're fucking real strange and they're always super selfish okay it's yeah i can't even like figure out exactly what it is but i'm just like i know that's not one of the good ones yeah especially if someone's like a successful comedian that's why it's really weird like you have the opportunity to hang out with some of the most fun people in the world my Oh, my God. And you're a peer of theirs. And you give them a pass. It's like family.

It's like, no, if I, I did this gig in Colorado once. And just by chance, it was like this corporate thing. And there was another comic on the bill who I won't mention. And I was like, oh, that's cool. We're in the middle of like nowhere. And at least there's another comedian here. He did a set, split, didn't talk to me. Just like there was no – I was like your dog like, hey, let's play.

Let's play. And he just split. I was like, all right, that guy is weird. That guy is – there's something. And it's true. I think it's less common now than it was back in the day. And this is another thing that I talked about with Jeff jeff and dave is we were talking about camaraderie that there's um there's less competition now than there ever was before because before there was only a limited number of tonight show slots there was a limited number of

sitcoms that you could be on and that's what everybody wanted everybody wanted their own sitcom yeah everybody wanted to be on the tonight show and there were very few of those very few yeah and everybody was competing for these very limited slots and there's very few hbo specials there was it was not there wasn't a lot and there was a lot of us and so it led to a lot of like jealousy a lot of clawing and scratching right now i could see thanks to many things thanks to the internet thanks to youtube initially then podcast and then netflix it seems like the world is our oyster there's so much yeah all you have to do is put out good content totally and you

could have your own audience and he could have his own audience and she could have hers yeah and all exist without having to poach each other's audiences yeah and you know i promote like in the beginning of uh if you're listening to this on YouTube, it's not on it because it's something that I do in the beginning of the audio version of it. But I'm always talking about people's specials that are out. Like now the Bumping Mike special with Dave and Jeff Ross is out now. They're not paying me to say that. Netflix is not paying me to say that. The Joe Diaz special or the Christina Pazitsky special.

They're not paying me to say that. I'm saying that because these people are all my friends, and I want them to prosper. I want everything to – I want them to – I think they're great, and I want everybody to know that this is great stuff. And if you're a fan of comedy, I want to help you. It's like I want to be that guy at the wine store going, hey, you want to see an $18 bottle of wine that will knock your dick into the dirt?

It's Joey Diaz. Right? Nobody knows about it, but you're going to love it. Well, more people know about Joey now than ever before. Oh, yeah, because of you. Not enough. Not enough. Yeah.

No, I know. He's the best ever. He's so funny. I've never seen anybody that makes me laugh harder. I don't know if I enjoy him as much as I enjoy how much you enjoy him. Like, it really is such a great thing. Just watching you guys, when he's going off and you're laughing at him, it's just like I could watch that all day.

I feel so thankful. He's so real. He's such a, I mean, he's just one of those people that you just. He's so real. Especially if I have a buzz. I've had a couple drinks I smoke a little weed and I watch Joey I'm so thankful

I'm just like so thankful there's a guy like that out there in my opinion he's the leader of the charge cause he's the most reckless and wild and even more so now

now that he did that Netflix special oh my god go see him people he is a fucking monster right now he's like he's peaking he's better than he was before and he was the best before no Go see him, people. He is a fucking monster right now. He's peaking.

He's better than he was before, and he was the best before. No. It's such a great thing. When you go to any club, and you come in, and you just see whatever random people are there. My wife was a comedian before we had kids. And the first thing she asks when I come back is, who was there? Who did you see? And it's like, oh, I saw Steve Byrne. I saw the, whatever.

And she's like, oh, she wants, because she doesn't, she's not part of the community. Like she is, but she doesn't get to visit. Yeah. So it's like, she misses that sense. And we were very lucky to have that as grown men to be able to like walk into this very fun community that you're a part of. It gives you meaning. It gives you a sense of, of belonging. And that's what a part of. It gives you meaning. It gives you a sense of belonging.

And that's what a lot of people don't have nowadays. It's very, according to David Brooks, that's the reason for everybody's malaise. I think there's certainly something to that. I think it's weird living in places where you don't know your neighbors. I mean, that's fucking weird. I mean, Norton was telling me that he lives in this big apartment building in New York City. And, um, I think he said, I mean, there's gotta be hundreds of people living in that building.

It's a huge, huge building. Yeah. I know where he is. He doesn't know anybody. Weird. Says no, doesn't know anybody. He says, he tried to say hi to his neighbor. They look at him like he's a fucking murderer.

Nobody's friendly to anybody. Yeah. It's so weird. They're like, you're too loud. Stop making noise. That's what everybody does to people. Bang on the door or bang on the floor or bang on the roof. Conflict.

Yeah. It's a weird thing. And it's weird, you know, my youngest wants to go to church. How old? 13. Because friends? What is it? Maybe.

and uh because uh friends what is it maybe she has more of a she has more of a sensitivity and like she knows there's something other than there's something spiritual going on mushrooms i think that might have been what kicked the whole thing off and uh and she's just she's searching a little bit right and she wants that. She likes being able to sit someplace, and we go. And it's not like when I was a kid. When I was a kid and we were Catholic, the place was packed. You couldn't find parking. It was a big deal. My father would be like, we're going early.

Come on, get out of the house. We've got to get a spot. I'm not walking from the back. And it was a big thing. Now it's like you kind of roll up it's half full and there's nobody there and it's you know of course the catholic church has a lot of problems and you think but every but every what do you mean by problem but all these religions have had a little a little kerfuffles no they haven't no they haven't not

like the catholic church no the catholic Church is the worst. It's the worst. I know, but don't let me get sidetracked. Okay, I'm sorry. But the thing is, we know so much now, and we're able to see that all these institutions are flawed, that there's problems with all of them. People used to think, my grandmother just thought, church is the best, and this is the best, and they didn't ask questions. Now we know everything, and we know that all these institutions are flawed and i think we're making the mistake that you can't be a part of a political

party you can't be a part of a community you can't be a part of thing if it's not perfect but that's not a way to live you got to kind of be a little ignorant if you're going to show up you got to kind of not be ignorant but allow things to be flawed. Or start a new one. Go on. Yeah. I mean, the right way to address the issues of a flawed institution and not just to accept them, but to try to create a new institution that doesn't have as many flaws. I mean, that's not what we did, but what our founding fathers did when they established the United States of America.

The idea was to establish a place where you have an experiment in self-government, and that's never existed before in the world. And this is what the United States represents to the rest of the world outside of us. I mean, this is what we, again, I keep saying we. It's not we, but what the people that established the United States did was they broke the mold as to how a world superpower or a country – it wasn't a superpower at the time. Could exist. But how a country could exist.

And then that country – I mean, I don't think it's a coincidence that out of just a couple hundred years, that country emerged the greatest superpower the world's ever known. That freedom allows unprecedented activity in terms of innovation, in terms of creativity, and not being suppressed, and not being in total fear for your life for any form of dissent. And this goes back to not just religion, but any sort of group, any group that's in control of any sort of a situation, as soon as you suppress all the other people, you limit their ability to contribute. Right, right. And this is what has existed all throughout Europe and what existed all throughout Asia, all throughout the rest of the world when the United States came along. And then when the United States came along, all of a sudden you have this unprecedented development and growth in this one place where people are allowed to be free yeah where we support free expression we we support freedom of speech freedom of religion and we separate church and state yeah and this is one of the reasons why these things are so important so when you get like religious fundamentalist wackos that say this country was founded on Christian values, that doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. If you're a peaceful Muslim, if you're a peaceful Buddhist, if you're a peaceful Mormon, whatever the fuck it is, we should all embrace each other. We should allow each other 100% freedom. And as soon as someone starts restricting that freedom and restricting people's ability to express themselves, you run into real problems because then you don't let these things play out in their natural order. You don't let ideas play out where people get to examine those ideas and change. Like, look, if you look at some of the more suppressive areas of the Middle East, the real problem is that these people live, not just, there's many real problems, but one of the real problems is these people live in fear.

So there's no real freedom of expression and there's also this real desire for conformity this real desire to establish that you are a part of the group that is one of the good ones that's going to abide by the rules and you are going to show everyone else that you are a part of this group whether it means throwing gay people off buildings or throwing rocks at women that have been adulterers. All that stuff. I was just going to say, like, your life actually depends on you conforming. Yes. I was with my friend the other day who's gay, and he was saying that he can't.

You have a gay friend? Just one. Stop the show. Just one. Just come on, fellas. Shut it up. Come on, fellas. Shut it up.

And it really. How close? He's close. Comes over your house? So close. Whoa. I didn't realize he can't go to half of the planet as an open gay man. Oh, yeah.

He can't go to Russia. He can't go to all of the Middle East. There's parts of Asia. Like, they will kill you if you're gay in those areas. I mean, talk about – I mean, what's going to make a city flourish than gay people coming in with bold ideas and let's go? I mean, I saw them change parts of New York like it was nobody's business. Well, and also I think that what's great about gay folks is when gay folks are embraced and they're allowed to be themselves. Oh, my God.

And they can express that. And then you get to see that there's such a giant spectrum of the way people behave and think and the things that they love. And if you don't allow people to express their position on that spectrum, then you don't even know it exists. Right. And then you create all sorts of deviance because you're forcing them into some unnatural pattern, which is one of the things that I think about the Catholic Church. I think part of the problem is that these people are suppressed sexually, like incredibly suppressed, not just suppressed in terms of whether they're homosexual or heterosexual, but there's no sex.

You're not allowed to have any sex. Right. Yeah. So how's it going to come out? It's fucking insane. It's like being in denial of the fact that you need to drink water. And it's so upsetting because I'm really kind of searching a little bit because I was raised Catholic. And I did like going.

I have what she has. I did like going and sitting in the pew on Sunday was different from the other days. And I got to hear people talk about being nice to each other. And I got to see the people from my town who you saw running around. But now they're just sitting there quietly and praying. There was goodness to it. And they went out and fed the homeless. There was good stuff that came from it.

And she wants that. I get that. And now you're sitting in an institution, though, and you know the backstory of what's going on. It's, you know, how do you sit there? How do you sit there? So I said to her last night we should just go to yoga well satisfy your spiritual side but right but then they're wacky too man i mean no

look i go to um a beak room yoga i go to hot yoga yeah the 90 minute hot yoga and that guy i don't think he's allowed to come in this country no he's not the deal the guy who made bikram no no that guy i do not think he's a he was that's the case he he got a little rapey well he definitely got a little he took advantage of his privilege his position power well yeah i guess you could say power but the reverence that people had towards him. Yeah. They felt like he was a guru. And so he would get these girls alone.

Yeah. And he would make them suck his dick or whatever. Right. But I think, see, now this, I'm getting, this is very dangerous waters. But I was having a conversation with a woman who is a she's actually an instructor and she said listen that guy is definitely creepy but let me tell you something a lot of those girls not only knew what he was about but they wanted to be with him they wanted to be with him because of his power and because he represented something special to them and then then when he just shot a load in their mouth

and then kicked them to the curb, then they became angry and decided they were molested. They went into it willingly. I do not know if she's accurate or inaccurate. I was not there, and I'm not a woman. But I do know that people have... I remember women throwing, not throwing themselves, but making it very clear that they had deep admiration for my martial arts instructor when I was a young kid and I was practicing Taekwondo.

Yeah. I remember these women, they were so in awe of my martial arts instructor because he represented a master of something that they were deeply enamored by. And I think that's also what happens with these yoga people. Yeah. It's seductive. Yes. You know, it's seductive. And also with something like that, it's very physical and mental and spiritual.

It's sexual. It's sexual. Like yoga is, look, I've never had any sex with anybody in my yoga class, but I'm telling you, when everybody's in there sweating and everyone's almost naked, I'm wearing these is yeah look i've never had any sex with anybody in my yoga class but but i'm telling you when everybody's in there sweating and and everyone's almost naked i'm wearing these little fucking shorts and these girls are wearing these little shorts and and the teacher goes around and she like calls you out it's like oh she likes me yes i can understand how some of those people get intimate with each other after this is all over because they're they're so close to being

naked and sweating together right you know and your friend is right uh in that there there were some women i'm sure who wanted to be with him yes but my friend was not dismissing any rapey shit either but it's his responsibility because he has the power and knows what he's wielding like in a workplace kind of thing it's up to you to be the one who puts the brakes on it that's where it gets interesting because he does not seem to think that he does have any responsibility at all for the people that are working for him teaching these classes and chat like he was he did this hbo documentary it was fucking they did this hbo uh interview about him it was so ridiculous this is the bickram guy yeah yeah he goes there are women that will pay $1 million for one drop of my sperm.

He says this. See if you can find the video. So he's fully aware. He's fucking crazy. He's fully aware of his power. He's crazy. Yeah. He was dismissing the idea that he would ever sexually assault anyone he's like why would i do that when these women

that will pay one million dollars for one drop of my sperm well it wasn't yeah but why it wasn't yeah it wasn't brian gumbel wasn't there i think they're discussing it right they're discussing the sperm comment you're going to see the guy because he looks like a because he said the comment to a woman and she was like this she was like what in the fuck did you say you know like HBO's Andrea Kramer breaks down

million dollar sperm interview million dollar sperm interview there's some shit that you say there's some shit that you say where people go wait what the fuck did you say holy shit yeah there's some things that are what's called that you would call beyond the pale yeah well i love i love just seeing pictures you hear these stories then you see him he's like you see them. He's like your grandpa. He's like all loose-skinned, and he's balding. But that's the thing.

It's like when you're in a powerful position like that. He's very spiritual. And people will pay $1 million. What does it say? From being circumspect in real sport, the 70-year-old went off on a rant claiming 5,000 women a day want to sleep with him, four have committed suicide over his charms, and people would pay $1 million for a drop of his sperm. Imagine if you lived in that world. I would just shoot loads every day and then retire.

If you just ate a lot of zinc, a lot of zinc and like what makes loads oysters celery yeah is that really yeah celery vegan nonsense propaganda celery adds to the pop what tells you who tells you that the celery people that's like that's like some fucking celery lobby no it's true celery does how do you know i remember i read something porn people right celery yeah celery if you know what's jamie got here oh here it is make a line the most beautiful famous rich women in the world if i have to sleep with women then have to sleep you know 5 000 girl every day 5 000 women a day want to sleep with women, then I have to sleep, you know, 5,000 girls every day. 5,000 women a day want to sleep with you?

Yeah. They commit suicide. Four of them. You're saying that four different women. Four different women. Each killed themselves because you wouldn't have sex with them. All right. Why I have to harass women?

People pay $1 million for one drop of my sperm. I can make $1 million a day, every drop. You and that idiot are dumb to believe those trash. The women are the trash? Yeah. I pick them from trash and give them life. Oh, my God. 70 years old.

He looks pretty good For a 70 year old That's from selling all that loads Oh my god It won't last very long They get gross Yeah, they get gross Oh man, oh man Yeah, so that spiritual thing

Like the whole But that's, yeah It's like, the problem with it is you're still an animal, right? So if the animal- It's like we were talking about before where the wolves go on these surplus kills and they kill all these elk and they don't eat them. Yeah. Like in Wyoming, there was a recent issue.

There was 18 elk that were killed by wolves in these surplus killings. It was a real tragedy. And these wolves can't help themselves. It's just their instincts. So his instincts as a man, he has instincts to procreate, right? His instincts to respond to women that are sexually attracted to him. And he teaches these classes in front of hundreds and thousands of people and everybody loves and adores him.

So in his fucked up, twisted brain yeah everything that he said there made sense my favorite part of it was that woman andrea when she when she clarified yeah so you're saying that four women have committed to like i want this motherfucker has to be clear on this nonsense i like how she's there he is she doesn't even change her expression she's just like so you're saying yeah i mean look at that girl right now. He's standing on top of a woman's hips as she's bent over backwards. That girl is like, he wants me. He's standing over me.

By the way, I've taken a lot of yoga classes. Nobody ever stood on my hips. No. No way. They're like, hey, bro. But I do like it when you're doing yoga and they come over and they push your legs down. Yeah, well, assisted stretching. Oh, shit, I just spilled. I spilled, Jamie.

You spilled wine? Leave it there, bro. Let it sink in. It's good for the patina. I'm learning those terms. The patina. Just lay that there. So when you're in the church.

The church of yoga. Home. Or real church. And you're abusing your power. That's a different animal because you're dealing abusing with children yeah it's you know it's a totally different animal you know we're taking six-year-olds and abusing them that's a different animal yeah you know i mean like it's like there's levels to this shit right like the guy killing his brother is horrific to me the guy

killing his brother's wife more horrific the guy killing his brother's wife and then kids impossible demonic it's like that what you were saying earlier like do you believe in good or evil yeah i don't know if i believe in it but if it did exist it exists in in the mind of men yeah and exist in in that time you know i know or yeah but you know it's like what i i had this bit that i did on my last special and it was about men's rights groups and it was i was trying to figure out a way to say this and make it be funny but it's so true that i said men commit most of the murder men commit most of the rape men cause all the war this is these are facts

like the most horrific things in our life are war yeah murder rape those are the most horrific things in our life are war, murder, rape. Those are the most horrific things in all of life. I mean, theft pales in comparison. And I think men steal more than women, too. But that's the evil. If there was a demon and the demon came down to earth and there was only three things that it could get you to do, it would get you to rape, murder, and cause war. Right. So if a demon was real, a demon would be men. I said this as a joke that I get feminists like in the special i was like i get it if i was a feminist i'd be one

too i'm like i can't be one as a man because they're not real because like male feminists like they're just tricksters they're just like show me a male feminist that can pick up heavy things and run really fast right Right. They don't exist. You have a limited parameter where you're allowed to be a male feminist. But I get it. When I look at the actions of men, if you're an objective person, you take yourself out of the human race. And you look at all human beings. And you look at the horror that men have.

Not that women haven't done awful shit and falsely accused people and killed their kids and women have done all those things sure some women some but the vast majority of horrors yeah have been have been committed by men yeah i know it's like i know it's a very primitive uh way to look at the world that there's good and evil and it exists in these certain ways that's good it's all good all right but a little. That's good. It's all good. All right. A little hit of that. Don't get crazy. I'm worried that I won't be funnier after I do this. Okay.

Let's see. Jamie will pick up the slide. Dude, you're like Elon Musk. You're a goddamn pioneer. Jamie's going to go deeper. He's crazy. Jamie's going for three, I think. Is that three?

Jamie has hip problems. If you see a video of the floor, Jamie hits the wrong button. He's like Biggie Smalls over there in a cloud of... What's amazing to me is that this is now 100% legal here, but still not federally, right? Well, that's what was funny about the Elon thing, when Elon smoked it here. It was like, it's totally legal, it's totally okay, but in everyone's minds, they're still like, no, it's not. Yeah, well, they need to let it go, and this is why they need to let it go. We're on your side.

I'm on the good people of government, law enforcement, fire department, military, the good people of government. I'm on your side, man. Yeah. And I'm a stoner. Yeah. I mean, I'm on your side. I'm on your side a thousand million percent. And making it legal actually helps all that because now you don't have to go out and fight these phony wars against it.

It doesn't just do that. It makes people more compassionate. I know. It makes people... Look, it's like everything else. You can abuse beating off. I remember when I was- A million dollars a drop.

One million dollars for one drop of my sperm. If you're a person that gets obsessed with masturbation, you could ruin your life. Yeah. There's people that are legitimate porn addictions where they watch porn eight, 10 hours a day. And they can't stop. Right. This is like everything. Yeah. I think you can ruin yourself with sugar you can ruin yourself with food you can ruin yourself with with laziness you can you can get into a habit where you just can't get up yeah

you know you can you can get into a comfort zone we just want to take baths all day right you know people do shit like yeah no i know exactly yeah there's did roseanne say she did that after all of her bullshit went down she just got in the bath all the time drank wine was that her that said that was her safe space i apologize if it wasn't so um so anyway is i know it's a very basic way i mean we've been talking about good and evil since the time of uh the men were able and women were able to, you know, write and philosophize. But it,

I don't know. It just seems to me lately, like I've see, it feels to me like evil and good is actually a force that we're struggling with. Yeah. And I know there's, I know like some people would say that's kind of a,

you know, a primitive way of thinking, but I do kind of feel like uh it actually is a very uh real tangible thing and that what makes you think this like your personal feelings is it based on like your intuition like what is it i yeah it's intuition it's like a vibe it's like a it's just like a maybe because i'm showing up at church and kind of like searching a little bit myself and i i am very much about good people doing good things and i've just been kind of

conscious of it but then there's always like these this rise of evil that like comes up like all of a sudden white supremacists or these riots or these horrible things against people in different parts of the world. And it seems like it's this non-ongoing struggle. Almost like, why hasn't it caught up yet to the way you look at the world, the way a lot of people look at the world? Yeah. A lot of people look at the world like, if Tom Papa, if you were in charge and if you had to push all the buttons that would sort of decide how people behaved if that was a possible thing of course one of the first thing you do is eliminate all the violence right and all the horrors of the world yeah and if and then you and then also i'm sorry to cut you off but you also see that all those

horrors are done by these men and stuff who when you sit and like kind of analyze them and they've been the victims of a lot of things and there's like genetic victimization and social and it's like so where's that coming from why are these this kid that could have been okay ends up in this life of crime and ends up murdering somebody and where's that coming from is this just a genetic mutation or is there like a force of good and evil i think we're still we're still dealing with the echoes of the past that's what i really firmly believe and i think also the way maybe you and i are having this conversation the way a lot of people are having these conversations today just like us like basically the same sort of rational people sitting around with no agenda going, why does this exist?

Why is all this horrors of life? Why is all this injustice? Why is that there? I think this is – we haven't been here that long. I just really think that's real. And I think we need to absorb that much better. Our time spent in modern civilization versus the time of life on earth is a joke the time on life on earth and in relationship to the time of the universe is a joke

right the numbers are insane yeah we can't understand that we we literally were monkeys just a couple weeks ago right well yeah the bit that i have my act about the united states being founded in 1776 yeah that's three people ago? Yeah. People used to be 100. That's three people ago. It really is. Yeah, that's nothing.

So three people ago, people were these creatures that had to make fire to stay warm. They didn't have electricity. They didn't have engines. Yeah. They made boats out of trees, and they used the wind to drift across the ocean while staring at the stars with a fucking gigantic harp-looking thing. Right? What was that thing? A sextant? Yeah.

Isn't that the thing that they use? Yeah, the sextant. You have to look at the stars and figure out where the other ones are. So you had to trust that these motherfuckers had mapped out the universe well so that you could make it across the ocean. Yeah. And a lot of people died of scurvy along the way like fuck man that is crazy and not long ago dude that's so goddamned recent yeah when i was listening to dan carlin's hardcore history one of the best podcasts ever have you

i don't know if you're no it's so good but he has this thing on the the mongols called the wrath of the cons and what freaked me out is not just how crazy that world was back then and what unbelievable damage and destruction the mongols created and how they just conquered empires just moved across the world killed millions and millions of people but was really fucked up was i think google this to make sure i'm not wrong. I think that was only like 1200 BC. I don't think that was that long ago. That's really recent, man. That's really recent. I think Genghis Khan died in the 1200s, if I remember correctly.

1200 AD, not BC. AD. Did I say BC? I actually meant AD. I said BC, but it really did mean AD. Which makes it more recent. It's like 800 years ago. I'm a little st Yeah, yeah. I said BC, but I really did mean AD. Which makes it more recent. It's like 800 years ago. I'm a little stoned, folks.

Sorry. But it made it a lot more recent. But that 1200, well, 1200 BC would still be pretty fucking recent. But 1200 AD, which is what I meant to say, that is so recent. Yeah. That's just. Not that long ago. Yeah, that's 800 and 18 years ago.

Right? Yeah. Ish. Other way. Other way that's 818 years ago. Right? Ish? Other way. Other way. 792. 792. 792 years ago, a guy killed 50 million people during his lifetime with his actions.

Right. They changed the carbon footprint of the world. I mean, they destroyed. I mean, they. So then you're saying it's more. You were right. I was. So then you're saying it's more. You were right. I was right. So you're saying it's more surprising that we're doing this kind of stuff.

Yeah. And that we have electric cars and medicine and all this other kind of like, it's more surprising that we're doing that than it is that people are running around killing each other. Well, Nazi Germany. Dude, that was 1940s. Yeah. It's crazy. That's maybe crazier than anything. You know, if you, and Carlin has some great stuff on that too, in the history of World War I and World War II.

But if you're watching a documentary on that and you're watching those people move around, especially that one that you showed me, Jamie, that's been digitally remastered. When you see it in color. Is it Ken Burns that did that? Yeah, I think so. They digitally remastered some footage from World War I and you get to watch these people move around like in real time.

You realize like, oh, these are just people. They're just people. Just like you and me. And this is like a hundred years ago. A hundred years ago, we're involved in this crazy ass war. And then a few years later, we're involved in another crazy ass war. Yeah.

So why can't we figure it out dude because evil is present i don't know i think i think it used to be the only way the people got by i think killing each other and i think from going from small groups of people which like in these small groups of people they would have interpersonal conflicts they would have fights with members in the tribe. But they would sort it out, and there would probably be some sort of rule that they would all try to live by. But then they would get invaded by people that didn't have anything and were looking for your stuff. And they came over the top of the hill, and they killed, and they raped, and they stole women.

And they just did that for a long-ass time, man. They did that for a long ass time man they did that for a long ass time right this was the history of the steps like that dan carlin maps out in this wrath of the con thing makes you go jesus christ imagine being born then right imagine just imagine how crazy that meant being a baby and seeing arrows flying around and people cut open. Dude, people were lighting people on fire and launching them onto roofs with catapults. Right. This is the footage from World War I.

So look how they digitally remastered it. Yeah. Peter Jackson is doing it for a movie, I believe, or a documentary. That's the craziest thing. When you look at history and you think, well, that was then. It's like, no, they're just us.

Just happen to be. They're really no different than you and me. Dude, we haven't been here this long. We haven't been here this long. This is the thing. Like, people that look like this, that are wearing, like, uniforms, and that are, you know, have, like, decent stuff,

nice wheels to their wagons, all that kind of shit. That's real recent, man. No, I know. It's recent as fuck. and there's been a bunch of different ways that people have done it you know but even if you go back to like the egyptians but isn't the act of like okay so we know like that guy lit his house on fire yeah we know that is a just instinctually we know and have known during even all this history we've known that that is evil yeah but you know

what i mean like it's insanely selfish it's not like we went from having to like eat each other and now we're trying to get our act together you know what i mean there is a we all know that that is such a evil evil thing it is it is i think it exists i think we have to fight it well it's it is evil but it's ego that's causing that, right? That guy didn't want to go to jail. He didn't want to shoot himself. He didn't want to kill himself, and he didn't want to go to jail. So he decided he was going to kill a bunch of people to make up a story.

He had a plot, and his plot was to save himself. Right. And that's when people get trapped in a situation where they're allowed to make decisions and they're allowed to, you know, if not allowed to, but if they choose to make decisions and those decisions are horrific and then they have to somehow or another justify those decisions because they never look at their own behavior. They always judge other people. This is a pattern that people fall into. Yeah. They're always looking for other people to always be wrong. Right.

And they never grow and so like a guy like that if he was so psychotic that he could kill somebody and then he has this decision to make and this decision is to kill the wife and the kids too like he's just like always got to be right you know i'm saying like he's always he's got a he's trying to cover his tracks he's trying to lie always like this is a the type of person that could do something like that yeah this is a the type of person that could do something like that yeah this is a horrific pattern thought it might have been triggered by the murder itself so it's just a chemical flip in his brain that says now i can kill people like he hasn't done it his whole life and he's just going to the subway and getting a sandwich with all the stuff

on it and just be just like watching the monday night football and then the next week he's like something flips in his brain. It's like, no, now I can kill all the people that I know and love? I think in a fit of rage, in a fit of rage, he does something horrific. And then I think he's one of those people that tries to justify his actions. So it just gets... So he tries to figure out a way where he can justify it. That they're going to be in hell anyway because

the guy's dead you know they'd probably i don't think he's thinking that deep he can't be thinking that deep he could you think we're crazy man they come up with justifications yeah but we came from these like we said before this is an italian dude like us he's like right but he could have also we don't know if he's medicated do we now that yeah that's a it's a big brain chemistry we don't know what he was doing you know i mean he could have been on something which uh you know makes people do horrific things do you think do you believe in karma i think for sure that when you put energy out there it affects things around you in terms of the way people interact with you, and that in turn affects the way

they will interact with other people as well. And I think there's a certain amount... There's an energy you put out. You could call it that, but that makes it sound like you've got a crystal in your pocket. Right? Not really.

Energy is real. It's like... Energy is a real thing. There's a real... if i was if i was a murderer and came and sat in here there'd be a different vibe than what you're feeling from me yeah for sure you know what i mean for sure yeah a chronic masturbator well it's also people that are off and then struggling with the fact that they've done something awful. Right.

There's like an energy to that. Yeah. It's like a constantly being on edge energy. Yeah. You ever read Crime and Punishment? That's Dostoevsky? Yeah. I never read that.

Oh, you should read it. Oh. It's so, he kills someone and he's carrying the greatest description of the guilt. Just carrying that thing. Now that guy's going to emit an energy. But you don't think there's karma just for, like, you do something bad and then something bad will happen to you? I think I genuinely believe, and this is no crystals in my pocket, I genuinely believe that if you do something that you know to be awful, that that has an equal effect coming back at you. that has an equal effect coming back at you.

Uh-huh. Like whatever bad that you've put out in terms of like doing something evil to a person, the way you feel personally, like about yourself, you will take an equal blow. I really believe that. And where's that blow come from? I think it comes from your own introspective thinking. So you're doing it to yourself. And maybe even worse. You might even feel worse than that person.

You could say something rude to a person just because you're tired. And then you realize you said something rude and you're like, fuck. Right. Oh, why did I do that? And then they could be like, Tom Papa's a dick. No, I'm really not. I'm just so tired. And you just asked me something stupid.

I'm sorry. But it's hard to turn that around. Yeah. So you might hate yourself more than they even get mad at you so karma's really you dealing with the energy it's not the universe saying now something bad's going to happen to you you're kind of creating it with your own actions and your own stuff i think it's real dangerous when we pretend that we have any sort of real understanding of the patterns of all the events that take place in the world. So when you start to say like someone, something happened to someone because of karma, that's okay. The problem with saying that is what about babies? What about babies with leukemia?

Were they bad babies? Right. What happened? Why did they get cancer? Why did they die young? Right. Why did they get cancer why they die young right why did they die in car accidents why did they that doesn't make any sense they've never done anything bad they're babies but that's but you could say that uh you know bad shit happens to us all but can you create more bad shit by your bad actions possible too and it's it's also entirely possible

that you're creating more bad shit by feeling bad about yourself because you've done bad shit. So you create more of this negative energy that you carry around with you. I think that's entirely possible too. But I think that we also have this weird need to define things. that we're calling karma and we're saying that this is like this this definite correlation between action and reaction and between the good you put out there and the good that comes back and my take is that i think there's definitely something going on but i don't think we should define it yet because i don't think we really know and i think as soon as we box it up and and say it's this thing and this is the absolute reaction that the world has.

When you put good out there, good comes back. Good people die all the time, folks. Good people die. I think there is an energy. Yeah. And we know it from the work that we do. I think it's both things. When you stand on stage, there's an energy in that room, that transference between you

and the people that are out there you're playing with it it's a real thing it's like hypnosis yeah it is and then they can reverse hypnotize you they can bring this other energy the other way so that there is

this energy of all of us out there and running around it's not that far to think there couldn't be good energy and there is this energy of all of us out there and running around. It's not that far to think then there couldn't be good energy and there's bad energy. And is that ultimately good and evil? Maybe it is all generated from human beings. Maybe if you educated everyone and they could all be kind and try and come at it that way, we could actually feel that there was more good, but that's just more good coming from people. I don't know.

Well, if you want to get really spacey with this. Sure. Really, really spacey. It's the holidays. You go, okay, well, what exactly are people doing? That's what you do. You go, what are people doing? What are they doing?

Like, what's our purpose to being here? Look at us from an outside perspective. Like, pretend you're not a person. Right. And you're looking at all the people like, what are they doing? Yeah. They're moving really fast. They're spending most of their time doing things they don't want to do.

And they're buying stuff. Bustling around. And so because they're throwing all this money at stuff, the stuff keeps getting better. So every year the stuff keeps getting more complex and more capable and more high tech and more space age. This is bananas, man. I got a watch. I can call people. Like, fucking is bananas, man. I got a watch. I can call people like fucking Dick Tracy, man. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. And that as people keep going on and on and on and on with this stuff, this is, we need some sort of energy behind this innovation. And a lot of the energy is conflict, conflict and resolution, conflict and resolution, conflict and victory, victory and defeat. Conflict and resolution. Conflict and victory. Victory and defeat. And defeat makes you work harder.

And there's all these like interacting forces that are constantly moving together. I'm with you. And that this, a lot of it is expressed, the success of this little game

is expressed in material possessions. The success in this game is expressed in Hampton's mansions and private jets and Bentleys and, bam, I'm winning this fucking crazy game of stuff. And there's a lot of value in winning the crazy game of stuff. So we let these people acquire all this stuff and you've got all these diamonds and fireworks.

I've got a jet ski. Yeah, but this is forcing more stuff to be made better and more innovation, which will eventually, and this is where it gets spaciest of all. I'm waiting for this part. This is going to be what people become. People are going to become some sort of symbiotic organism with something that's tied into electronics. And it's happening now. It's happening slowly and we're making it with stuff.

And as we keep making stuff, it's eventually going to get to a part. The thing you'd like to do more than anything is have it enhance your experience on Earth. Right. Right? I want to be able to take pictures. Yes, yes. I want to be able to email people. Yes, yes.

Yeah. But I also want to make my experience on Earth better. Well, then we're going to have to integrate with your circuitry, Tom Papa. And then live forever. Maybe. Maybe that's what the organisms are trying to do they're trying to become this thing get rid of the monkey that wants to start the wars all the time right it's enlightened right purge that out of our goofy ass system evil what if only some that would be a great science fiction movie but if this is the future and they probably already made it but if only some people went on board with the new enlightenment that you get from these like headsets uh-huh like remember the dude from star trek the uh blind guy

yeah which like from sesame street remember he was used to be on sesame street right yeah he was the uh levar birding rainbow levar yeah reading rainbow levar burton barber yeah if we all Sesame Street, right? Yeah, he was the... LeVar Burton? Reading Rainbow. Yeah, Reading Rainbow. LeVar Burton? LeVar Burton, yeah. Yeah. If we all had those things on. There was only like 10 of them? No, if most people bought into it and those things completely cure you

of any evil. Yeah. And just moving along. I think that... I don't know. I mean, there is... Maybe there is maybe there is no purpose

to us being here there it is that's an air filter son you got that shit from Pep Boys that's an air filter that's like a

cool air filter on top of a muscle car isn't it isn't it come on man it's hilarious that's a 69 Chevy yeah you bought that

you bought that at the auto parts store and put it in your Toyota Corolla. Those are the dope old ones, man. When you fucking unscrew the chrome hubcap, you pull it off. Put the thing off. Don't lose the wing nut. I always liked a good wing nut. Yeah, man.

The wing nut. And people don't remember, man. These people today, you don't remember what gas smells like. Oh, man. You could fix your own car. You could open it up and with a screwdriver and a high school education, fix your automobile. I was never smart enough or

knowledgeable enough to fix my own car, but I could do little things. I could change my oil. Yeah, change your oil. I could do a lot of things with old cars. Yeah, exactly. I did the brakes once. I did the brakes. Did the brakes. That's a bold move. What if you're wrong? I was poor. Oh, jeez.

I didn't have money. Buying brake pads was a lot cheaper than having some guy know how to do it. Did you put it up on a jack? How did you handle it? Yeah, I put it up on a jack. I had a cinder block that held it underneath. Damn. It was a light little car, little pads.

Put them in. I probably had to get it fixed after that. But yeah, you could fix stuff. There was like a time when you could actually... And you felt good about it. But, but, but... Yeah. If you had to choose between one of those fucking rickety shit boxes

that's like a rhinoceros on roller skates versus your Tesla. Yeah, no, there's no way. Those old things can go fuck themselves. No, and I wouldn't put my kids in one of those. Yeah, no, there's no way. Those old things can go fuck themselves. No, and I wouldn't put my kids in one of those. Yeah. We were driving around in those death traps. Dude, those are death traps for sure.

No steering, no airbags. Hydroplane at the drop of a hat. Yeah, exactly. Just spinning around. They were so engine heavy, remember? Those cars, they had just big ass engines in the front. They didn't know how to make stuff. And the ass end would just slide all over the place.

It was so easy to slide your car back down. It was totally. Being with your friends, just like spinning out in this big medical. The cars of today, they figured out how to balance them. That's the big deal. No, it's a huge deal. Like a Tesla or anything. You buy a fucking Camry, okay?

That Camry handles way better than a 69 camaro yeah fucking no better i would like to see what the death rates are of uh on the roads now with like new cars it's got to be it's probably much better i mean people they're they're much safer than they've ever been before but they're also driving much faster too yeah but you don't have to drive very fast for it to be fatal. They just didn't know how to make stuff. Everything was metal and glass. Just filled with gasoline. Metal and fucking sparks and fumes.

Fumes were everywhere, man. You'd be driving, you'd be getting high from the fumes. I know. Right? I remember when I was working for a fireplace company in the summer in New Jersey and I was in a truck. We're in this truck in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike right by Newark Airport, and just the fumes from everything, from the city, from the cars, it was just orange in the humidity

of New Jersey. I was like, if I get cancer, this is going to be the day that it hit me. And it makes people crazy. It's like throwing alcohol on fire. It's like breathing that dust all day. So disgusting. Pull up a video of the sound of the exhaust of a 1969 Camaro. There is something to it.

There's something to it. The smell of gas is a good smell. It's not just that, man. It's that sound. Yeah. There's a sound. Ooh, how about this one? Even better. 1970s chevelle ss

yeah you can fuck yourself rest of the world that's america motherfucker there's nothing evil about that sound yeah that is america you're driving one of those motherfuckers around it was very cool i mean american muscle cars as preposterous as they are they represent in a lot of ways what's great about america yeah the excess ridiculousness. Exactly. Not giving a shit. It's just so outrageous. Just let's go.

Let's have a good time. Fucking giant metal explosion contained in the front of the hood. That's all it is. A giant ass explosion box. Look at this. Ooh, that's the 69. Is it? Nope.

Yeah, it's the 69, I think. There it is. Yeah, it's 69. Look at that. That is fucking insanely beautiful. Good lord! But you know what? Oh my god, dude. This guy...

Dude, this is gloriousness. You see heaven on earth right here. 1969 Chevelle. Look how pretty that car is, man. If this guy's across the street from me And I'm looking out with my coffee out of my window And he comes pulling out with that on a Saturday morning You know what I'm saying?

This guy's an asshole Do you hear Herbie with his new car? He's going through a midlife crisis You say that but I guarantee you If you were next door and you just walked over And looked at it It would catch you in its bell It would If it's across the street next door and you just walked over and looked at it, it would catch you in its spell.

It would. One drop of sperm. If it's across the street, it's just racket. Jesus Christ. Why does your car have to be so loud? Yeah. Keep it down. But if you're right next to it, you're like, wow, 1969, huh? And you'll start walking around it.

It is pretty bad, yes. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. It's not. You can't make a car like that today because it's not even remotely aerodynamic. It's not aerodynamic. No. It's not. Yeah. It's not. You can't make a car like that today because it's not even remotely aerodynamic. It's not aerodynamic. No. It's not fuel efficient.

It's not safe. But they're beautiful, man. They nailed it. They hit this sweet spot in art and engineering. That is the one part of the American experience, recklessness. Yeah. That's what drives everything. There is that element of balls to the wall let's see what

happens let's discover and you could get good things out of it right but imagine this imagine something that's far inferior to the modern alternative but makes you feel in a way the modern alternative isn't capable of feeling like if you see in 1969 like done up mustang gt what what was like the big one that year gto mach one was it a mach one what the fuck was the 1970 was it a boss that's what it was the 69 was like a boss and then earlier than that they made those eleanor cars for that gone in 62nd i think those were 1967 so early in that they had that body style yeah like if you looked at one of those next to a 2018 mustang the 2018 mustangs look fucking great they look great that's it right there it's a mach one yeah that's it oh

that's right it's for the john wick movie right dude there's a company that's making these now, too. They're called Classic Recreations, and they're making these brand new versions of that car. They take 1969 Mustangs, and they rebuild them, but they give them real brakes so they stop good. Modern suspension. They make it so you can drive it around. See, that's what I'm interested in. That makes sense to me. That makes a lot of sense those are blue badass they're just pretty mustang badass tires but like when you look at that how how beautiful is that it doesn't look like anything that you can buy that's modern like there's nothing remotely close no that's like

vinyl they just right there they just nailed it whatever the vinyl. They just nailed it. Whatever the fuck they did, they nailed it. All these years later, we're like, God damn it, they nailed it. Right? But they nailed it for a certain lunkhead from New Jersey. That doesn't do that for you? Yeah, it does. But I don't know if young people would think, You don't know if young people would like that But I don't know. Look at that red one with the black stripes on the hood.

You don't know if young people would like that? I don't know. You need to start arresting them if they don't like that. If young boys don't look at that Mustang and say, good God, that's incredible. If they don't do that, then they should probably go to jail somewhere. That is pretty hot. That's incredibly good looking. But it's stupid. Everything's incredibly good looking but it's

insanely beautiful but it's also stupid well how so sir it's just metal right in your chest cavity no no airbag you need to do more push-ups glass just in your face it's probably a little bit of that no i know what you don't get in a car accident drive carefully and it's a wonderful thing to behold yeah no it is my buddy had a mustang when we were in high school but if you saw something like that but it had airbags you'd be cool with it then yeah no i'm cool with it anyway i'm just busting balls but i think that it's uh look at that little orange thing in the middle that looks closer to what i i had a 76 toyota corolla call that up call Call up a 1976 Toyota Corolla with

the racing stripes along the side. Look at that bad boy. Look at that orange one in the second row. That was it. I had a 1984 Honda Accord. Pull that shit up, Jamie. 84 Honda Accord with stuttering spark plugs. That's a

79. You need the 76. Those are cool little cars, though. I could fix that car. That's a 79. You need the 76. Those are cool little cars, though. I could fix that car. That's what I was doing the brakes on. Yeah, it looks like one of those, something like that. Yeah. It was white. Nice little shitty car.

Seven Legend. Ooh. It's just like this. Ooh. Ooh. You know what, man? Here's the thing about those cars. That's a nice car.

Those fucking cars drive forever. Yeah, exactly. It's amazing how reliable Hondas are. Oh, yeah. They're so insanely reliable. Toyotas. Oh, my God. Just go forever.

Just having that crummy car is a good thing. So you think, back to your point of view of what are these people doing here. So they're building. I liked where you were going. We're making stuff. Making stuff for what? Because everything's electronically based. And is this all instinct or is it being steered by something?

Are we just finding our way in the dark and this is what's coming out? Or is there some plan? That's the heavy question. It's really hard to know if there was a plan yeah i get i get why some would be suspicious that there would be but if you just see the whole nature right with the starting off of the tribal behavior and the invasions of the others and the wars that have taken place sort of non-stop right yeah you get this hyper competitive team oriented thing it's broken into countries well i think that with that and this like constant competition and this constant and then inside your

country this constant competition economically and everybody just striving to achieve and do better and get crazier and bigger and this is all leading to us just continuing to buy stuff. Like everybody that is involved in this is buying the newest iPhones, the newest MacBook, the newest this, the newest that. Xbox fucking, how many Xboxes have they been now? Let's just say four.

Four, yeah. They're going to keep going. They're going to keep going. They're going to go Xbox 5. They're going to keep going. That's what everybody does. They want better shit. They want VR. We want VR. We want hyper-realistic VR. I want VR with no gear.

I want you to be able to give me a pill, and that pill releases a bunch of nanobots that go through my circulatory system and find my brain and juice it up with some artificial memory. Oh, that'd be nice. That's what I want, and I shit them out later, like buckshot. That sounds real. Clink, clink, clink. Yeah.

Like a kidney stone. Yeah. them out later. Like buckshot. That sounds real. Clink, clink, clink. Yeah. Like a kidney stone. Yeah. You shit it out like buckshot. Like little BBs coming out in your poop. This is, I mean. Look, beings always try to find safety, right? That's what they want more than anything. They don't want to get killed.

They want to be safe and exist, eat whatever, but they just want to be, they want that safety. So maybe our safety is going to come when we're out of the woods, we're out of the wild, we're out of the 20th century, and we're just these insular things that never have to go out and about and live forever and just be. Pete Could be. Jared Maybe that's what all this push of technology is aiming towards. Pete Yeah, could be. Jared Right? It's just to protect ourselves in these little cocoons and and be yeah i mean if the ultimate threat's always violence and war

right that's the ultimate threat to the organism the organism would commit commit violence and war against each other yeah which is why we make doors and gates and stuff to keep those things at bay yep yeah but it's what the most fascinating things that people don't address, like what would cause a person to snap. There's no real concrete answer. What do you think is the difference between, and I'm asking this honestly, killing when you're hunting and killing a human being?

I think it would be a giant difference in terms of the way you felt. Yeah, how could you articulate it, though? I don't know. I've never killed a human being. But I would imagine that it would be, I mean, it would have to be some horrific situation where you're battling for your life, which people do it does happen right you know we're all aware of it the worst possible scenario we would all like to think that everybody that we meet that's of sound mind should be our brothers and sisters

i mean we should all get along right whether you agree or disagree about certain political issues or certain social issues. Like we should be able to talk through that as a community, but like always hold at the top that we're all in this together. And if I think that's possible, I think that's possible. And I think we could still satisfy this fucked up desire that we have to constantly compete. We can temper that with what i think is the most important thing is finding something that you're passionate at because i think you and i are really really lucky that we found stand-up and through stand-up we found this thing that we're passionate at and we have a good time and we have fun some people don't have that

so like if i if you were offered a job as a stockbroker and this is a guaranteed job, you have a guaranteed contract for the next 20 years, you're going to make five times as much as you make doing stand-up, but you can't do stand-up anymore. You would never take that. You'd be like, why would I do that? So even though you're a guy who does well, you're not a business person. You're a guy following your passion. Right. And it's allowed you to live a nice life. But that doesn't – it's not the same as a lot of people.

What a lot of people are doing is just chasing the money. So the passion doesn't exist. And they can manufacture that passion when it comes to like some desire to see their team kick ass because their company is number one. It doesn't have to be the work. Yeah. It could be really that they aren't succeeding in the business world and that's their passion there's a lot of people that like that right but it's not the same as a guy like david cho who's like a professional artist who's making he's he just follows his passion right he does what he wants there's a different kind of

achievement there's a feeling that he has the way he interfaces with what he does for a living that's different than what a lot of people do so i would imagine that artists would probably be less inclined to go crazy and spend all their money on stuff and buy things that make them look better or make them feel better about the fact that they work so hard because they're not trying to fill a hole that right right but if you're just you have a job for a company that you don't really give a fuck about you don't really give a fuck about styrofoam coolers. You really don't give a fuck about those rubber bands that people buy when they have causes. You don't give a fuck about this company, right?

You're just a fucking guy who does your business. And you're there. Okay, well, we can give them to you for $17.96 if we can work this through. Bob, we're talking about $1,000. He doesn't want to be there. That guy wants to be fishing. That guy wants to be doing something else. You're insanely

fortunate that you don't have that in your life. But I think, I don't think those people, look, a lot of people have jobs that they're not into, but the reason we're lucky is that our job is our passion. A lot of people have the job that they're maybe not into, but they love this other stuff that they do.

They love being with their family and teaching soccer, or they love skiing or whatever. Like, their passion is something else. We're lucky that our passion is our work. To combine those things, that is a very, very unique thing. It's the most insanely lucky thing ever yeah you know i mean just but i think that for people that are like hyper competitive that don't find the thing that they really love then it really for many of them becomes about

pursuing the best stuff yeah and you this is what fuels so many people for like these status symbols like like if you have an iphone 8 with if a kid sees you with an iPhone 8 and they got an iPhone 10, they feel superior to you. It's fucking weird. They can basically do the exact same thing. iPhone 8 has a fucking killer camera. iPhone 8, the battery's pretty similar. The bezels are bigger.

The differences are tiny. Tiny. But for status seeking people right it's very important that you have the latest stuff like you can't be walking around like david tell the other day with an iphone 2 jay burst out laughing immediately he got on twitter is hilarious you know there's there's nothing about a tell that is searching for status no he's like i was saying that he's like a monk in that way he is yeah yeah you're right he's smart you know he's a brilliant guy he knows he knows what's healthy for him and

what's not except other than the cigarettes yeah he can't but in terms of like mental health but all his other stuff like he stopped drinking and did yeah no he cleaned himself up really well and the cigarettes are the only vice he has cigarettes and coffee he was saying that's his vice he's a he's a poet amongst us like yeah he's he's somebody that yeah that he's special he really is and he's a really good guy yeah no he's so kind he's so kind just being around in his orbit i love three years coming through new york i love i love the two of them together yeah no it's really it's so funny I never would have seen that coming when we were all young in New York. I know, right? I never would have saw that.

Those two doing it. I don't know what... Not for any real reason, but I just never saw them intersecting. I never would have saw any of us doing something like that. Yeah. Doing live shows together. Yeah. Fucking around with each other.

It's a great idea. It is a great idea. Because some of those shows, you see those pictures from the comedy cellar yeah like you know one o'clock in the morning like dave chappelle's on stage with chris rock and they're fucking around i know there's always like three guys on stage that's crazy i know i never i never understand that either but being around atel like watching him all through the years like he would always surprise you like when someone's father died or something happened attell was always front and center like helping out giving people money like there's a kindness to him legitimate kind guy yeah and another force of good yeah a real force of good and a guy who

uh like comics should really appreciate like if you're a fan of the art form like david tell it's really someone to appreciate because he's always creative it's it's like it's never douchey it's always funny skanks for the memories that's one of my all-time favorite cds that shit is hilarious that is so funny that is a hilarious cd man i think he did that in denver oh yeah i think he did that at the comedy works oh yeah wendy's place oh very cool yeah that's very cool is it those are yeah that fucking in denver that cd is brilliant yeah he's amazing he's so good yeah i mean to answer what you're saying yeah your face here in its photo it's so silly i think that was when he was doing insomnia too right yeah that was the partying days

yeah he's just he's such a smart guy like uh he just decided at one point hey this is fucking me up no more drinking that's it no more drinking no more show i'm not gonna do this thing that's attracting negativity to my shows yeah and setting me up as a guy that's going to drink himself into oblivion. He was smart. He pulled the cord. Yeah, you're the party guy. You're the life of the party guy. You need to talk to Bert.

Sit Bert down. Ask him what's his endgame. Or talk to Ron White. He's doing it with... Ron White's not faking it. I'll tell you exactly what Ron White's doing. He's riding that fucking boat right into the rocks. Is he?

He doesn't give a fuck. Right, exactly. And he's doing it with a tequila company. Cheers. He's got his own tequila company. Happy holidays. Cheers, my friend. I set up my train under my tree.

What is it? Numero Juan? Is that his tequila company? I just said I set my train up under my tree, and you still focus on tequila. Did you have photos or videos of this train under your tree? I think I did. Put anything on the Instagram? Probably.

It wouldn't be real if it wasn't. Yeah, it's hard. I love it, though. Especially good stuff in your life. My kids are getting older. They're like 16 and 13 and they were at school and i'm setting up the village under the tree and the train tracks and all the people like shopping around the village and i was like doing it on my own because they

don't have time to really do it and i was like this is how people become the guy in the neighborhood who's like bring your children around to look at my train set because your family leaves and you're like are there any children around that want to look at my train set i could totally see myself doing that at some point totally well there's those dudes that they go all close encounters of the third kind they make that giant one in the middle of the living room you remember that's a funny reference yeah because he had the middle of the living room. You remember Homeboy? That's such a funny reference. Yeah, because he had the plywood on the horse, like, the extra. Yeah, he went crazy and built that mountain in the middle of his house.

Yeah. And his wife divorced him. Yeah. That guy, yeah, you make a train around that. Yeah. It's not that far from that. That's really funny. Why can't I remember his name?

Richard Dreyfuss. Of course. Jesus Christ richard dreyfus of course jesus christ richard dreyfus what a great movie well that guy he's been great in so many things he was like always the unassuming guy jaws yeah man him as the scientist he was he was spielberg's alter ego really yeah but he's so good yeah he's so good in everything he looks so young there oh he was man man oh man what a fucking movie this was because i wanted to believe so bad oh yeah i so wanted to believe they got me hey did you talk about that did you talk about that alien craft that came into our what happened we talked to our galaxy it did then went with the hawaiian name oh so it's over you didn't hear about that one the one that looks like a joint yeah or a big piece of poo What happened? Into our galaxy? It did. The one with the Hawaiian name? Oh, so it's over.

You didn't hear about that one? The one that looks like a joint? Yeah, or a big piece of poo? Yeah. That's just a rock, right? The big doody copter? It's just a weird rock. I think. No, they said that some legit people said that it changed speed and went in different directions.

Oh, legit people? Legit people. Oh. Scientists. Oh, them guys. Said that it was uh it could be something could be what does neil degrassi say about it he's not talking right now yeah he's in a little bit of a kerfuffle kerfuffle what's this jim

harvard scientists say aliens makes plain bizarre interstellar object yeah I saw that and then I saw someone refuting Harvard scientists Harvard nobody wants to believe more than me bro come on Joe it's real well if I was gonna mask my spaceship to fly through the galaxy I would definitely make it look like a big rock yeah like a big asteroid right why wouldn't you driving through space. Maybe if they were like, look, if we just make this thing drive by them

and don't change speeds, they'll have no idea. Just think, we're an asteroid and they'll be psyched that we missed them. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, good call, good call.

And the guy's like, left turn! Someone just hits the gas. I'm tired. I don't want to, it's fucking taking too long. What'd you do, Dave? Dude, you got it.

The fucking cops are behind us, Dave. Shit. God damn it, Dave. You're not supposed to just take off. I told you. 65, you fuck. Don't start throwing this weed out the window. Why would it be so hard to believe?

A space rock traveling through space. That would be the move, right? I mean, if they're so advanced that they can travel through galaxies, they can make the shit look like anything they want it to yeah why wouldn't you doll it up radiation pressure the only thing i would think though would be there's no air in space right so it wouldn't be aerodynamics what would it be momentum no go down a little bit i think it answers your question if radiation pressure is the accelerating force then omamama represents a new class of thin interstellar material. Whoa. It has a different thing that it's using for energy.

What? As to what may have produced this previously unseen material, it could have emerged naturally from the debris of the planet-forming disk in a distant solar system going through yet an unknown process. They've got a whole other way to make... We went from Toyota Corollas to this thing. Jesus Christ. Imagine if that's what we find. The only thing that I would think of... That's what it does.

Like a rock, right? Rock is not smooth, but it doesn't necessarily need... This is where I'm stupid. This is one of many places where I'm stupid. But it doesn't necessarily need to be aerodynamic I'm stupid. This is one of many places where I'm stupid. But it doesn't necessarily need to be aerodynamic, right? Because it's not going through air. It's going through the vacuum of space. Right.

Exactly. So I'm not wrong there. It could actually look like a rock. The only issue would be getting it into space, right? The aerodynamics, assuming that you're shooting it from a planet with an atmosphere. Again, should not be talking about this. Way too stupid. No, let's go.

That's what life's about. If you shot, if you like, if you're launching it from Earth into space, right? Yeah. What if you had it encased in like this outer area, sort of like the space shuttle is. Yeah. But then once you get to a place, you could jettison the outside of it. Just like they get rid of those booster rockets they just fall into the disintegrate land on people while they're fishing

that has to have happened right you're getting killed by a booster rocket flying out of space and hit you in the face didn't disintegrate but then they could do that they could release the shell and then they would just have the rock and the rock would move through space and it didn't matter what shape it was because it's in the vacuum of space or just get it up into orbit or orbit like uh the space station go and build it in pieces and then launch it do you remember when that commander chris hadfield gentleman was on the podcast and he was talking about uh some kind of magnet that they have that collects subatomic particles out there in the galaxy and that we only know 5% of what the universe is made out of. Oh, my God.

And they're talking about things like dark matter. And he was- 5%? And this guy's a scientist, real legit astronaut, coming back from six months in space or whatever the fuck he was there for and telling us this. We're like, what? We've talked about that. Like you can hang with those guys for a little while and then you're like, I don't understand what's happening now.

Well, it's also the, I mean, it's amazing what we do know. Amazing that they can send a guy to space and have him fly around the ISS or, yeah, I mean. Well, talk about what you were saying about uh why are we here and what are we doing yeah like we haven't developed yet something that can go the uh the speed of light we haven't like but if we do then the whole universe is open to us maybe that's what it is maybe the struggle of developing all this stuff is to get to a scientific level where we can really go I don't think they think the speed of light is even good enough. Really? Yeah. God damn it, that was my goal!

I think that, like, if you wanted to have options available as to what planet you're going to colonize, you're going to have to... Who knows? Like, what if you land on a planet? What if you land on a planet and it's like, hey, it's 74 degrees out. Guys, guys,

it's all oxygen and nitrogen it's just like earth come on out here come on out here but it's only been like that for 10 years and then it's cycle it's really fucked up like 30 years from now it's going to be a nice age and then all the people have moved there and they're going to freeze to death there's going to be no food at all and the planet doesn't give a fuck like that that is all our science led us to that i don't even know if we can predict like here's my my question can they accurately predict the atmosphere and the conditions and like what the temperature would be if a planet is from a sun like do they have a calculation where they say oh this sun is this amount of big

and this planet is this far away so it's definitely going to stay within a certain temperature range for the entire time that the planet did they know that like within like a death range i don't know i would think so like 40 degrees they must death range is 40 degrees bro yeah you get to 140 that's a wrap yeah you're done yeah so like 100 you can make it 140 everyone's dead right you live in a sauna you You're going to run out of water. I just don't think we're going to make it. We're not. 190?

And we're definitely not figuring it out because we're saying this amount of big. Yeah, exactly. We're not even helping. We're confusing the problem. But seriously, think about that just as a concept. Maybe that is it. Maybe it's all this. You keep thinking and you talk a lot about all the robots and the things that are moving us forward, but why, but why, but why? And I had the cocoon theory before, but maybe that's not it.

Maybe it's so we can really go. Yeah, I've had the cocoon theory for quite a while where I think that we are like some sort of an electronic caterpillar that's building some cocoon and then a butterfly is going to emerge because when right when as a collective like we'll all be part of this i don't know i mean just the innovation and the computers and the ai and our integration with them that eventually it's just going to get smarter and crazier and weirder yeah i mean it's only a matter of time before they make something that resembles a person. It sounds too insular. Science fiction-y? No, it sounds too insular that it would just be for us to stay here on Earth. The universe is so vast.

Right. I think it's more likely that we're going to go out of this. That's a very good idea. This is the sewer. It certainly makes sense. It's kind of the sewer. Oh, but is it though? It's amazing. Well, it of this. That's a very good idea. This is the sewer. It certainly makes sense. It's kind of the sewer. Oh, but is it though? It's amazing.

Well, it's beautiful. There's parts that are really nice. Come on, man. We have a lovely life. Have you ever been to Utah? Just look at the stars or look at the beautiful clouds in the sky on a day like today. Oh, my God. Today is lovely.

You go outside, there's clouds floating around. It just gives you just the right amount of sun, a little bit of contrast. It is the best. It's lovely. How could you say this is a sewer? Because there's so many parts that are disgusting. America. There's so many.

So many parts are not the best. No, because not so many parts. Because we still have this evil, this other stuff that's clogging each other and knocking each other. And it's still filled with danger and murder. Not right here right not right here it's only it's in certain spots so this is the other thing that we tend to do because we have seven billion people on the planet and cameras on all of them well yeah and everybody's got a camera and we're exchanging these stories like you're catching stories from an unimaginable number of humans. Yeah.

Right? And so even if we're looking at just our country, there's so many people, just LA, so many people. It's 20 million people. It's insane. What's really amazing, it's really amazing, is not just how far human beings have come over the last, you know, 100, 200, 300 years. the last you know 100 200 300 years but what's really amazing is if you just look at the actual numbers of times that people interact with each other how few of them are violent yeah especially in a place like america in 2018 i think about that on the freeway all there's so many people these are just you're right and they're all pretty much acting in an orderly fashion to

preserve themselves and others. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's true. Every now and then you have someone that's just crazy, just violates all the rules, just weaving in and out of traffic, driving 150 miles an hour in a residential community. Maybe it's just a mutation. Maybe that's just a mutation. I think it is. I think it is. And the same way those things exist in like a biological system, right?

You can get these little diseases, little bugs, these little things that are off, you know, and then you have an immune system that battles the bugs. Yeah. Like when you see stuff about chimpanzees and there's like everyone's getting along, trying to do their thing, there's struggles, but then there's a real mutation. Like there's someone that – there's one that kills the rest of them and won't be part of the thing. You know, that's what we have. We have these kind of like renegade mutations run by evil, which is why we should all go back to church. What's interesting is that it's in large groups, right?

And all of us together, like the way we interact with each other is generally nonviolent. is generally non-violent however these large groups will decide by whatever you know whoever's in charge to attack other large groups and this is where the big death comes from right this is where the the real toll comes from in war right so but if you looked at the actual communities of people from one side or the other like the the groups themselves together, how much are they really in conflict with those other people? Probably not nearly as much as the people that are in charge would want them to be. Which, right. Yeah. Which is a very small – it's almost like the mutation is in charge.

Right. Because, right, you take two groups that are at war and you put them together, they're just hanging out drinking beer together. We're all the same age. They probably have a great time together. Their leaders talk them into something crazy. The leaders are the mutation. That's when things get scary. Whether it's the Hitler leader or, you know, whatever.

The North Korea dude or the Russia dude. Whoever is the one that's invading places. They're talking people into invading places. Yeah. Ooh. Yay! That's some slippery justification. Yeah. You know, that's where the world gets very strange and and i think it's interesting that those people in those groups you know all come

from all over the world or all over the country at least all these different places and they're brought together right but look how we've progressed there's fewer of those kind of conflicts now than ever before right but you and i and I think a lot of other people would like it to be zero amount, right? Yeah. But I don't know if that's ever going to happen, man. That's a weird thing to say because you would like everybody to be in a good place in this world. But you'll almost wonder if like many things, this is like this push of good things happening and bad things, positive and negative. And this battle between the two of them is what creates all this momentum and all this movement.

That's the good and evil. We're back to the good and evil. So maybe we should go back to church. Look, the priest did some weird stuff, but maybe it's good people in there more than evil people. Well, the problem is with that church in particular, they're still shielding the people that have done terrible things. Yeah. Yeah. There's just no denying that.

If you look at the facts, if you look at everything that's come out, there's no denying that. No. It's super unfortunate. Because I think the vast majority of the people that are involved in the religion that aren't the people that are pedophiles. Right. I think they're very good people that probably think about it the same way maybe your daughter would like to think about it. Yeah.

That there's some place where people can get together and they exchange affection and camaraderie and this acceptance of something higher than them that holds them to a certain standard and wants them to be good people. Yeah. And that's good for everybody. Good for everybody. But if it wasn't for all that kid fucking.

God. All that kid fucking just ruined all that. It just, yeah. Yeah. Really? Really? It's such a sad, sad thing. Google this because I've said this many times and I've never bothered looking it up.

That the reason why, we can get another bottle of that if you want to get fucked up. It's the holidays. Okay. It's the holidays. Shit. A lot of sediment in in that what were we just talking about good and evil and the priests and why they're ruining it all and you said go get that video

look something up you haven't looked before a reason why oh this is it thank you thought that was gone forever I voted the reason why they forced priests to be celibate because what i had heard oh um was it and this is not no scholarly work of my own i don't remember even reading the article i think somebody told it to me that uh priests were banging too many chicks might have been bravo he might have said it in that way priests were banging too many chicks many chicks, man. They made them go sell a bit, which I think –

I don't think that was it. What do you think it is? I think it was property. I think that when priests own property and if they were married and he died, she would keep the property. If there was no woman involved and he owned the property and he couldn't be with a woman and he swore that he was just with Jesus, when he died, the property went to the church. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

That's, you know, which is not much of, I mean. That's crazy. It's. Wow. That whole other part of Catholicism is the other thing that bumps me all the time. When you go to the Vatican, it's like, wow, this is beautiful. But what? Where'd they get all this art? Where'd they get all this art?

Where'd they get all these buildings? I mean, the pillaging of riches. Fucking billions of dollars worth of shit. All stolen from a time when people were starving in the streets. I know. This is how powerful religion is. This is how powerful this pull is to search for good and to be a part of something. Is that in light of

those things that you you see the wealth it's like going into like a pirate ship and seeing all the shit that they got and then knowing what they do with these children both those things are you should just say no fuck this i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna be a part of this at all yeah but the the the other part of it is so strong that you actually will kind of say, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm still going to go to mass on Sunday. I think what happens is you think that even if a priest is bad, that the religion is still good. You know? Right.

You think that the idea is that this is like a bad guy who lost his way. Yeah. These are human beings that are flawed. Yeah, and a lot of them are drunk too, man. Yeah, really drunk. The guy who read my grandma's eulogy. Oh, no. Her name was Josephine, but he kept calling her Geraldine.

Oh, no. They had to correct him. It's Josephine. He was saying all these great things about her. He didn't know who the fuck she was at all. I know. And he had those gin blossoms. Oh, Jamie brought another bottle of wine.

Oh, my God. Savage Jamie. Jamie. But I think you take a guy and you put him in that position where he can't have a companion. You're not allowed to have a love. Yeah. You can't have a wife or a husband or whatever. You can't have that.

It's a horrible thing to do. It's horrible. You're fighting nature. There was a kid that whatever. You can't have that. It's a horrible thing to do. You're fighting nature. There was a kid that I went to high school with that became a priest. Yeah. We all knew he was gay. Oh, yeah. We all knew.

It was like a thing. You knew, like, oh, this is why he's going to be a priest. We get it. Right. Well, that's what a lot of people say. It's like that the church, the other side of it is that the church doesn't create pedophiles. Like, the institution attracts them because they know they'll be safe there. Well, it's possible, but it's also possible that so many of them that are active in the church, and I don't know what this guy's story was.

I barely knew him. Yeah. But that he could have been molested. I mean, it's not a small number of kids that were molested. It's a very large number. Yeah. And you would never, I mean, who the fuck understands what that would beested it's a very large large yeah and you would never i mean who the fuck understands what that would be like to be a young boy to have that happen to you and then

get groomed and indoctrinated into being a part of this thing that does that to other young boys in the future it's your whole reality which has to be what some of them are and they're all doing this under the blanket of this thing called the church then when the church finds out about it the church moves people to all these different various places and they they get these new victims yeah and this happens over and over and over again you know this was one of the things that they were saying about benedict about um the one who right before before cool pope yeah yeah yeah he had actively done that. He had actively moved all these people. Yeah. He was a part of that. Ah, it's so bad.

It's so bad. And it's such a shame. It really is a shame. Did not know this. Married Catholic priest. There are perhaps 120 in the U.S. already. Here's how. Whoa, is this a new thing?

Yeah. The other article I found said there's about 200. Wow. As of 1980, there was a rule change or an adoption of a rule change that allowed... Why does it say... Does it say Eastern only? Is that what it's saying? That was something in the story of the video that was going. Yeah, but it kind of paused it there. Why say Eastern Catholic?

Like East Coast only? East Coast? Like West Coast, Mexicans are not buying it. West Side? We got our own Catholic homes. Brooklyn! West Side we got our own Catholic homes Brooklyn went out buying your bullshit Brooklyn married

in that house huh 120 Catholic priests married in the United States wow that would be a great start

largely because of a policy change by Pope John Paul II in 1980 which offered a path for married Episcopal priests to continue their ministry after converting to Catholicism.

Oh, so you have to be a priest already if you're Episcopalian, and then you're allowed to have a wife and kids if you're Episcopalian, right? Yeah, for sure. You're allowed to convert to Catholicism. So, I mean, look at that right there. Like, Catholicism's the only one that doesn't allow them to have sex right yeah it's the only one with this littered with kid fucking right i mean right come on enough exactly cut the shit we were we are actually at mass and he was talking about there was one thing from

the gospel that was talking about being married being with a woman. And then he finishes the sermon, and then he goes into a sermon all about being with a woman, and this is a man that doesn't come close to that. This is a man that has no experience. It would be so much better for the church if he was a married man with children, and then he could really talk about being in a family like who are you you know nothing about what we're dealing with on a daily basis yeah i never went to the catholic church when i was an adult but i would it would be curious to be there to be like a husband and wife sitting there in this fucking church listening to this yeah dude who is supposed to be celibate drone on about how you should

live your life and what kind of relationship you should have. Right. Bitch, you're dressed like a fucking genie. Who are you giving advice to? You got a giant scarf on. Yeah. You're dressed like a wizard, son. This is preposterous.

What are you doing? What's that thing around your shoulders for? Why are you dressed like that? Why are you all in silk? Do you have underwear on? It's really weird that we let people dress like that because like if you didn't if he just stood up there and had to be held accountable like if the volume of his words were all he had like if you just made all priests and i mean all priests across all religions if they all had to stand on a flat regular stage with nothing behind them yeah and they had a dress like a like

a regular person like you're dressing right now and no pointy hat no pointy hat no no fucking giant insane artwork behind you right too confusing yeah not on a pedestal all that stuff fucks people up you go there and you see the, the, like you've been to Rome, right? Yeah. St. Peter's Basilica. You see that? Yeah. You, when you go in there, I mean, you almost can't believe that your eyes are working correctly. Right. Exactly. You're almost like, this can't be something that someone actually made. Yeah. This is insane. With no machines. Right. Just their hands and thousands of people. Like that, that, that if you're in that thing, you're going to be so humbled.

And so they're going to get away with a lot more shit. Yeah. If you were in some weird conference room and you walked in. At the Holiday Inn. Yeah, conference room at the Holiday Inn.

In a bad tie. Little bullshit ass cups of coffee. You know how you get a coffee machine and they have little tiny bullshit ass cups next to it? Like little white styrofoam cups. With the handle on it, the paper handle that folds out.

And you're dressed in Joseph A. Bank. The ones on the handle are not that bad because they have to be a certain size to have a handle. It's the ones that are little white ones, little white styrofoam ones. Those are bullshit. Yeah, but they would put in the plastic.

The little triangle ones. Nobody's going to buy your fucking connection to God if you're in that place. You have to sell it. They're not's going to buy your fucking connection to God if you're in that place. Right. You have to sell it. They're not just going to buy it. Unless. But if you're allowed to dress like a wizard and you stand in front of a golden podium

with a giant, huge sculpture of Jesus nailed to a cross behind you and there's organ music playing, you know, I mean. Huge. That's your act. That's a good act. That's an act your act that's a good act that's an act that's gonna look at that you know what man they should make that shit illegal the same way they made advertising booze illegal but you know what look at how pretty that is though it's gorgeous so pretty wouldn't it be better that looks like a christmas mass or something bunch of belly dancers

up there and dudes playing bongo drums and people passing around joints all in that place. Just a big old cannabis-infused lovin'. Wouldn't that be better than this bullshit? These are all just grown adults. If we can get all those grown adults just passing out weed, singing songs together. Well, what was it in New York?

Was it the Limelight? It was a church that turned into a club? Try to love one another right now. Oh, thousands of people in the church singing together with that? Come on, man. That's all possible, too. But you know what? Those people that are in those pews that look like a thousand people, right?

That's a big crowd. Those people that are sitting there, they are kind of high. They're checking their watch right now and go, when does this bullshit end? The Giants are going to start in an hour and a half. Fuck enough of this guy droning on. He's drunk, Gladys. He's fucking drunk. There they go, asking us for money again.

With those gin blossoms all over the face. He looks like W.C. Fields. This fucking guy's just getting drunk. Shh, shh. I put shit in the basket. Now they're coming out twice with the basket? Screw this guy. God is going to hear you. Stop guy. God is going to hear you.

Stop it. God is going to hear you. Timmy's got to go in for his doctor's appointment tonight. What if God is going to hear you? But is the value of them having a place to go on that Sunday, even though they hate it, important? The limelight is a gym now? Yeah, the limelight was a... Yeah, I saw Fishbone at the limelight.

Hold on. So the limelight, the dance club place, is now a fitness church? Yeah, it was a church. I can't tell which one. It was a market, too. It was a church. Then it was a rock club. So it doesn't last.

Then they started selling shit in there. Yeah, they should sell that shit. Imagine that's your house, Tom Papa. That would inspire you to get your party rolling. Live in a church. It's a gym now? Yeah. Dude, I would work out in that church all day wouldn't

you yeah that would be my spot even if i had a gym at my house i would definitely go to that gym just to feel the juice like i tell people i say i tell people all the time you should always like i like working out like at my studio but i like going to places too because when you go yeah because when you go to a place like there's a certain amount of juice yeah you know you're in a new spot but you're people around you that you don't know yeah you're out and it's also as a comic i think social interaction is one of the least respected um ingredients to our weird sort of uh stew of things that come together and make a bit you got to fill the well with those experiences. Yeah, you've got to talk to people.

Yeah, it's like reading or just being out in the world. It's important. Yeah, like all those things. Reading is one thing you need to do. But I think interacting with people is just goddamn gigantic. So important. I do a monologue each week on out in america on live from here which is the new prairie home companion and uh are you allowed to say that yeah yeah it's

the new it's the new prairie home did anybody else call you that or did you decide to call yourself that what the new prairie home companion it is that it was prairie home so you're actually doing this thing when i first got hired it was prairie home and then you're actually doing this thing. When I first got hired, it was Prairie Home. Oh. And then they changed it when Garrison Keillor got in trouble. You got in a kerfuffle? And now it's called Live From Here. He had a kerfuffle. I was confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I do a monologue each week called Out in America. How long have you been doing this? About a year. You don't tell me? It's NPR. I figured you would know. All things considered, it's very gross. I follow all the shit you do. I figured you would know. All things considered. Terry Gross.

I follow all the shit you do. I didn't know. How do you follow all the shit I do? That's weird. But my point is, I do this monologue called Out in America. And it's me... It's me shining a light on all the good people in America, right?

I do it every week on NPR. Wear that suit like you own it. Look at you. But the reason I bring it up is not to plug it, but to say it made me, when I'm out on the road, talk to people. I would get in the car and throw my headphones on. I wouldn't talk to people on flights.

I didn't talk to the person driving. Stay in my room. Do my shit. As a comic. Just go and you're isolated. And because I have to write this monologue each week, I need inspiration. I really want to shine a light on the good people out in the country. I started talking to everyone.

I don't take my headphones out. I talk to the driver. I talk to the people next to me if they want to talk. And it is, talk about filling the well for your comedic you know yeah toolbox it's the greatest thing in the world there's billions of people they all are unique they all have a story to tell it's foolish let's be as a comedian not to talk to these people harsh here they don't all have a story to tell some of them they might have a story to tell but Some of them, they might have a story to tell, but you don't want to hear it. Well, some are bad stories. Some are disgusting.

Boring ass fucking story. You can't tell people that everyone has a story. God damn it. You're going to get a lot of stories. They're going to be coming your way. They do though. I mean, honestly,

even like the biggest slug you'll find, you talk to them about their family, about their childhood, about where they grew up. There is a story there. Here's a way to look at it. You take the biggest fucking loser that ever existed on planet Earth, and if you discover him on Mars, it's the biggest story in human history. Yeah.

Holy cow. It's true. Barney, Barney. Some guy wearing a donkey mask, jerking off with a bathrobe on Mars, it would be like the most important thing that's ever happened. Yeah, it's on the CNN on Mars. People would freak the fuck out. They'd be like, this can't be real.

I can't believe it. Hey, come here. Get closer. I'll show you I'm real. Have you seen it? Old man with a donkey mask on, beating off. Right? But if you found an old man with a donkey mask beaten off in Venice.

I'm still impressed. I'm still impressed. A donkey mask? You would be shocked. Like if I said, Tom Papa, I want you to bet your life savings. Do you say yes or no? There is currently a man with a donkey mask on wearing a bathrobe jerking off in Venice. Yeah.

You might want to lean yes. I mean, you might... If they're bringing it to you, I'd be super suspicious. I'd be like, that's your question? That's definitely a favorite, not an underdog on that.

My question is, do you think that it ever happened? Yes. Right. Everything you can think of has happened. I'm 100% confident that someone has jerked off

with a donkey mask on, 100%. wearing a hotel mask on. 100%. Wearing like a hotel bathrobe. Especially in Venice. It's all about masks. In Venice. I'm 100% confident that I can say historically. Yes.

Everything you can think of has happened. Venice Beach, not Venice, Italy, right? Venice Beach. Right, right, right, right. No, Venice Beach. Oh, Venice Beach. We never know, man. I thought you were talking Italy with all the-

Right? With all the Catholic stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And plus the water's getting high and people panic. Can I ask you guys a question? Sure. Back to way in the beginning of the podcast when I was talking about wine and how I'm trying to learn about it and stuff.

The one thing I don't know about wine is when I do drink it, I never feel that drunk. And we've had a bottle and a half now. Do I seem drunk? Yeah, you seem pretty fucked up. Don't tell me anything you don't want to tell me. Do I seem that different from before? I mean, you were also fucked up too, but... No, you seem fine.

Yeah? Yeah. Because I always get home and I'm like, I have to say I kept my shit together pretty good. Yeah. And then I wake up the next morning like no I was I shouldn't have done that well sometimes you'll hear yourself like on a podcast if you get really lit like when we did that uh sober October podcast I saw one of the clips I didn't realize how drunk we were until I saw the clip I was like oh my god we were blasted

we're in orbit oh really oh that's we're in orbit I was listening to myself talk I was like you're so hammer. I was listening to myself talk. I was like, you're so hammered. That's so stupid. Because I want to be like a gentleman that can drink and hold his alcohol and be like, well, sir, if that is your goal, you have achieved it. Cheers. Cheers. Happy holidays. You're certainly a gentleman.

Because you don't seem, and you did more than I did. Did I really? And you seem exactly the same as when we started. I think you're projecting it. There was one point when, after you smoked a lot, you were going like this. Oh, the weed. That we started I think you're projecting There was one point after you smoked a lot Oh the weed, that's what I did more than you I could tell it was a bit of a body high Well that weed is strong as fuck

I think there's benefit to it I don't think you should do everything all the time But I think there's benefit I don't think you should exercise all the time either I'll tell you this When I was flying back from new york yesterday and knew he had this when i was on the flight i was thinking it would be so nice to bring a bottle of wine just chill with the guys and this that would be so happy and now that we're in that moment yes so happy me too so happy it's a good place i'm'm worried about Jamie's hips. Jamie's hips?

Still bugging you? No, the Sew Right actually helped a lot. Really? Just laying on it and breathing and taking time. Yeah, you know, I have not used that yet. I bought two of them. I bought one for the house and one for the gym. But it's called a Sew Right, right? For your psoas muscle.

So you lay on it and have it massage your inner gut area. It works? Well, apparently it's like a muscle that gets knotted up on people. I definitely had it get knotted up on me when I was running a little too often. I was running like four or five days a week. It was starting to knot up. Yeah. That's it.

It's like that. It's just like a foam roller, but if you could have an elbow on that foam roller. Right. Okay. And you lay on it on your back? You can put a couple different spots, too. They have a spot on your shoulders and the front, but I don't know, whatever, my pelvis area. Yeah, that looks beastly.

But it helped, right? You feel good. That looks good. Yeah, it's weird. The human body is all manipulable. Oh, yeah. It's malleable. That's why yoga is so good

oh yeah stretching in general like all that shit so good but it's just so weird how like deep tissue massage and all that stuff works and how your body's like pliable yeah break stuff loose yeah it's weird some things up and someone is really good at it if you get a gal who knows how to use them elbows, then you need to fucking get in there and fuck you up, man. Woo! I started running with my dog, with my lab. Yeah. But I run on the road and on the sidewalk. Right.

Do you feel like, I feel guilty sometimes that it's got its little paws out just running on the road. Is it hot? Are you worried about the hurt? No, it's the hardness of it. Like streets? Maybe. I never thought about that.

She doesn't seem unhappy. She seems like she's having a blast. Well, it's definitely not as good as running in the dirt. Right? It's just not. I mean, probably for us either. No, it's definitely not. Yeah.

It's definitely not. It's weird. There's not as much give. Whenever I see people running in the cities, I go, I get it. You want to exercise. You decided to make this whole world your gym. That's a weird thing. I saw some dude on Wilshire the other day.

He was crossing Wilshire. Just no shirt on, T-shirt, earbuds. One of those dudes is doing this at the fucking – Taking his pulse. Yeah. And he just runs across. As soon as the light turns green, he's just using the street. This is like 430 in the afternoon to rush hour.

And he's using this place as his gym. I know. That's why I like running, though. That's fucking weird. That's why I like running, because as soon as you go out, you're doing it. And he had a nice body, too. Wanted to let bitches know. He did.

He was slim and fit i don't get the that's what it was about probably more than anything totally through wilshire little peacock move yeah no shirt on and it was peacocking just running around do you do yoga with your shirt off or on that's right off bitch off off with all the gals there they don't give a fuck dude they're suffering. Everyone's suffering. Yeah. Everyone's suffering. I always keep my shirt on because I always feel like, as a man, I'm not supposed to be there.

So we should just make it less conspicuous. You feel like, as a man, you're not supposed to be there? Even after the remarks you heard by Bikram? I'm confused. Well, the smart man is supposed to be there. They don't care, man. Everybody does. Look, it's just too fucking hot.

It's too hot. You don't want to have a shirt on. You have that wet fucking hot thing smothering you. Unless you want to wear a jog bra. I don't do the big bra. I do the regular. I don't do the hot, hot one. I want to see you in a jog bra, bro.

Why can't a man wear something that just like Like a Like a Just covers his nips Like a sweatband for your tits Yeah Right Cover your Tits sweats Call it tits sweats

You know what I mean I mean I'm not saying I want a bra Like why is it okay It's not okay for a guy to wear a bracelet Well kind of Some bracelets Yeah But it's okay for you to wear one of them tennis wrist things yeah those like like a real band yeah those headbands for your wrists those wristbands

those ones red white and blue remember those yeah dude i used to wear those when i was a kid i thought i was the coolest fucking dude on earth i had uh those wristbands with red white and blue on them like that's right tube socks pull high up to the knee. All the way up. Yeah. What were those things called? What did you call those? Wristbands. Like tennis wristbands? Yeah, the headband and the wristband.

And they'd match. Yeah, I probably had a headband, too. I had one that was pretty badass. You know what was a big... It wasn't two, though. You just go the one. You just go on the left. That was the cool move.

There was a time... I don't remember what the time was, but there was a time when... That's it right there. Sock red white and blue baby two pieces large yo son we're gonna order those as soon as we get off the show i'm gonna wear next time tom pop and i do a podcast i'm wearing them red white and blue wristbands kids oh That'd be awesome. I literally had that. Fresh. Very fresh. It felt cool. Yeah.

It felt real cool. Why aren't those popular anymore? What was I going to say, though? I was going to say something. Wristband. Oh, goddammit. Son of a bitch. Marijuana combination. What?

Being allowed to wear them. Have it for a guy. Working out. Sweat. Boobs. Throw guy working out, sweat, boobs. Throwing a lot of information my way. Those are all words that you were saying. Why is it okay for a man to walk around with no shirt on and women can't? Was that what you were going to say?

Well, that's obvious. Women should be able to. They definitely can. But I've talked about this before, I think, where I said said i would just i wouldn't recommend it to a friend well i'd be like don't go out there with your tits hanging out yeah if if a friend tried to ask me if they think they should exercise that right to freedom i'd be like it's well i don't want to get harassed you don't want to get harassed right like i would would you wear like bikini underwear walk through a gay neighborhood on saturday night 10.30 p.m. when the ecstasy just kicked in?

You're a piece of meat. How good do you think you'd feel walking through a super duper gay neighborhood with little bikini briefs on? Crossing San Vicente and Santa Monica. And then if for whatever reason you obviously shave your chest. It's funny. Maybe your chest is smooth as baby butt, but your back has hair on it. It's funny because you're setting it up as a predatory kind of scenario, but all I'm thinking is, would they think I was okay?

Would they like me? Would they like me? I think they'd hit on me. Would you be pumped or disgusted? No, you'd be, you don't want the hassle. That's what I tell my, yeah, I mean, I understand that there's like a cool movement now and it's a time where women should be able to go out there and dress the way you want to dress.

It's not their problem. It's the guy's problem. Let's correct the guys rather than us. Right. I love that. But there's a lot of guys that haven't been corrected yet who are going to hassle you and follow you in the parking lot. Yeah. That's the problem.

Those guys aren't woke. Once everyone's all woke, it'll be great. Woke is a dangerous word to use. I feel like people are going to mock it in the future. Woke? Woke. Yeah. I feel like using woke now, unironically, is super slippery.

I see a trap coming. You do? The jiu-jitsu practitioner in me it's like i don't like this move this is uh i know where this leads i'm like this is totally right this is how i feel yeah i see that woke thing i'm like what are you woke what the fuck does that even mean you woke up you woke up what are you 12 well it comes from my 16 year old so yeah yeah these kids today but what does woke mean it means your brain is open you're open to stuff your problem is there's no real quantification there's

no real there's no test you take to show that if you're woke right right like like if you want to be a mathematician you have to fucking show that you know how to do math. The professors, they check your work. You get through like, yes, congratulations, Tom Papa. You are a mathematician. You have a PhD in mathematics. It says so right here on the paper. And you're like, God damn it. I'm going to put that shit on my wall so you understand.

I know how this stuff works. But wokeness? Anybody can claim to be a master of wokeness. It's like Kung Fu without fighting. It's very dangerous. Yeah. No one's defined what's woke and what's preposterous. No one's defined what's just not racist and not sexist and not homophobic but open-minded

and aware of the failings and the misgivings of all sides. All of us. And with no bias. Right. Is that woke? Because it doesn't seem like it is. Isn't that woke? I don't know. I don't think so. I think you just described what I thought it was. I would Is that woke? Because it doesn't seem like it is. Isn't that woke? I don't know.

I don't think so. I think you just described what I thought it was. I would like that, but too many people can jump in. There's no real clear understanding of what makes and constitutes someone being woke. Like, yeah, how many of those boxes do you have to check? Where does it stop? Tom Papa had a woke academy. Right.

And you took these people through. It would just be, do you like bread or not like bread? Yeah. Claiming wokeness. Super slippery. What's this, Jamie? 1962 New York Times Magazine article about being woke. Whoa.

Wow. This is crazy. Oh, my God. If you're woke, you dig it. Look, if you're woke, you dig it. Oh, my God. That's the perfect definition right there. If you're woke, you dig it oh my god that's the perfect definition right there insane if you're woke you dig it that is insane that was my fox man and you were copying my taste and grit

don't jump salty on me whoa look how they talked back then they were trying to talk people into talking in a way that made them seem more interesting i'm gonna say it the way i would say it if i lived back then. Hey, make it bigger so I can see it. You be the guy on the left. I'm going to read it, but I can't. No, scroll so we can read what they were saying. His comments. Yeah.

What he's saying up top. Yeah. Okay. That was. That was my fox, man. And you were copying my taste and grit. And grit. So how would you say that now?

That was my fox, man. Maybe it's girl. You were copying my taste and grit. And grit. So how would you say that now? That was my fox, man. Maybe it's girl. You were copping my taste and grit. Of course it's girl, Jamie. That's my girl. That's what he's saying. No one says fox anymore. No, that's what they said.

Oh, what words would you use today? Yeah, yeah. He would say, The fuck are you doing with my girlfriend, dickhead? And he said, Don't jump salty on me. I would say, Hey, we're cool no no worries no worries

stop being such a bitch it's all good it's all good yeah and then it'd be like what someone's a bitch and then next you know people be hitting each other that's the darkness in all men who are these two gentlemen to the right of the left it? It says Noah Webster. I think that might be Webster's dictionary guy. Who's the other guy? Peter what? I can't tell. Peter in the dictionary. It looks a little squirrely.

I can't tell. Peter Legasin. The letters are all blurred, right? I love that. But I love that. If you're woke, you'll dig it. Yeah, if you're woke, you dig it. That sums it up, man.

If you're woke, you dig it. How'd you find this, Jamie? Go back to that. I typed in, it's like, know your meme. Oh, wow. So the meme of the word woke. Yeah. Wow.

Stay woke. Look at that little image, though. Scroll back up so we can see it again. That's so strange. Imagine if that was contemporary. Yeah. Imagine if hipsters all of a sudden started wearing tails to their jackets. yeah like if that was your work like imagine if hipsters all of a sudden started wearing tails to their jackets if they just decided this is the next level we're gonna wear bow ties

and those tails it wouldn't be surprising because that's all about just i'm doing what you guys don't do so i'm going tails what a weird look though it is it is so weird that's a look that like okay so like the guy in the center With the hat on Yeah Those two guys Both the guys in the center Those guys will fly today

Oh totally That guy in the left Looks like he's dressed like he's That looks like me on the road Yeah I mean But he looks like Like he's in a Quentin Tarantino movie Or something

Yeah Looks like he's a reservoir dog That's totally normal right He's in the Matrix Yeah black suit Black suit Tie That guy could

go to any restaurant anywhere and no one would even bat an eye they go hello sir um can i help you boom walk right in go back to that image the guy next to him but those two guys on the ends like what in the fuck are they he's got a coat with tails yeah and those pants that are like flat across your crotch where it looks like you have no privates. Here's a good way to look at it. Imagine if you're dating a gal and her parents are going to come over. And you're like, you're really going to love my dad. He's an amazing guy.

He's real old school. And dad comes over dressed like that with coattails. Yeah. And you start feeling like you're in that movie Get Out. He's got a handlebar mustache he's got tails yeah weird weird pants with the going to funny shoes did you see get out yeah i finally watched it during sober october oh you did fucking fantastic yeah that's but that's what you would be thinking if that guy was dressed like that that the daughter was going to lead you to something and you have to run for your life but it is weird how like that suit has lasted yeah a long time well this was 1960 so i'm assuming that it was mocking the style of old so by the time 1960 rolled around the guys in the middle

were dressed contemporary but the guys in the end they're making fun of people the way they used to dress yeah kind of in a way or at least that's what represents those people. Yeah. It just defines their time. That guy was probably around in the 1800s. This guy's from the 40s. So who are those other guys are? Do you know who those guys are?

I believe Noah Webster. Webster. From the Webster Dictionary. That's why he's got the pen and he's scratching his head as that guy's putting out his slang. So his slang is making Webster go, what the fuck? That's not how you really say it. So it'd be like the Urban Dictionary.

Like, Jamie and I sometimes get confused. We have to pull up the Urban Dictionary and find out what the real word of a word means. So let's pull up woke. Yeah, there you go. As it's represented today. You know?

Woke. No disrespect. No cultural appropriation intended the fact that it was invented actually in the 60s is really weird it's just making a comeback like looking around when i typed in like what is woke to see if there's anything interesting if you dig it you woke what's it say aware knowledgeable about your community in the world with the willingness to access and critique systems of oppression. Well, that, at the end of it, the last part, yeah, exactly.

Yes, I mean, for sure, if it really is a system of oppression. But how do we decide what's a system of oppression and what is weird human behavior that represents the way men and women interact with each other on a grand scale. I mean, that's just like, there are some legitimate systems of oppression. Yeah, for real. It's like figure out which one it is. Yeah. But putting that in like, that's what woke is?

How do you define what the systems of oppression – like where does the line get drawn? Is the line – like why do women have certain jobs? Why do men have certain jobs? How much of that is because of influence? How much of that is because of their choices? How much of that is just because of natural proclivities towards certain things well then you're talking about people that are coming after the hierarchy and if they're coming after the hierarchy who's to say that those people aren't part of the problem i love jordan

peterson the way he's just like hammers just yeah well then what are you what are you saying then who are you what are you you're buying into the hierarchy you just love like the exasperation in his voice no but it's true it's like then it's true that that woke definition was like oh i'm with you this is all about being nice and kind and then at the end it's about attacking right but here's the crazy thing is the end part about attacking is where it gets weird because jordan peterson is a guy who gets regularly attacked and misrepresented, especially in terms of that he's somehow or another a racist because some racists like him. I've heard that argument.

It's a crazy argument. It doesn't make any sense. He's not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. He believes in individuals. Yeah. He's more Ayn Rand than anything. I never say that right. I know her name's Ayn Rand, but I always say Ayn Grind.

Really? I have a natural instinct to fuck it up. But it really is like his thing is, it's like the power of the individual and responsibility in doing your thing. Yes. And he's under attack, of course, during this time. Of course he's under attack. But he's also under celebration.

Yeah. He's been celebrated as well as attacked, but much more celebrated. He's under celebration more than he's also under celebration. Yeah. He's under, he's been celebrated as well as attack, but much more celebrated. He's under celebration more than he's under attack. He, it's nice to hear that viewpoint articulated in such a clear, concise way. He's a genuine sweetheart of a guy too.

I mean, I think if people knew him, I think, you know, part of the thing is some of his views are very powerful and polarizing to some folks. They will, who have a specific idea of how things are and what things should be and what represents transphobia, what represents sexism. And these are all fascinating discussions as long as everybody is just being rational and being honest about it.

Yeah. It's good. It's moving the discussion forward it's like you should hear all sides and you should hear i mean what he's saying is you know in a lot of ways is like very true and very real and it's like right but the presentation of it in these times it's like that he's very brave because he knows that anything he says there's going to be a shit storm in response well he, he's very brave in that respect, but he's also very brave in that he's done a tremendous amount of research on all these different subjects he's talking about.

And when he talks about something from a scientific perspective, he's not talking about it because it aligns with his beliefs. Right. And he will, in fact, highlight things that don't align with his beliefs and show that he has a hole in some of his thinking he'll he'll he'll pause in mid-sentence and goes well i guess i'm wrong then right he'll say things like that he does he has a hundred percent intellectual honesty yeah he's just he's not scared to take on this system of the way uh people think and behave. And this system works both for really progressive, open-minded

people that support most of the things that you and I probably support. And it also, the system is also in place for people that have more stringent conservative viewpoints. And we have to look at everybody honestly. If you want to debate whether someone's opinions are one thing or the other, absolutely, I'm with you 100%. The problem is when you start calling someone a racist and calling someone a racist because you think that racists like him or calling someone a sexist because you think that sexists like him or because he says things that you don't agree with. If you don't agree with them and you just dismiss them as this really shallow sexist opinion the problem is other people are going to read what you're saying they're going to look into it and it's going to seem silly right because the guy has volumes and volumes and volumes that you could read and that he has books

he has all these different lectures where he discusses these things podcasts where he discusses these things in really complex and well thought out ways you ways. You can't say he's racist. And what's unfortunate is that he presents this stuff. We should then, our responsibility is to deal with the stuff, deal with the ideas. Not what does it matter who he is, how he talks, what he is, what you think, and who cares? But the problem is if you call him one.

The idea is what we should all then oh thank you take it whether you like him or not take it and then wrestle that idea and move it forward 100% but we also have to be aware

that there's a real problem in calling someone a monster who's not a monster right because then when real monsters come along yeah you already used that word up

right that's this is like you have to be careful because there's real racists in the world there's real bad people yeah so calling someone a bad person just because you don't agree with them you fall into a very slippery ideological trap and a lot of times people do it just to get

attention yeah they want to throw their hat into the ring they want their their their their say they want they want to get it out they want to make an impact they want that love yeah they want to be part of that they want to be part of the discussion and they might have very strong beliefs that they think are correct but i i guarantee if you if that those strong beliefs are that jordan is a racist you don't know him well there's no way you could right and there's no way you're really familiar with a lot of the things that he says about race right because he doesn't say anything racist he talks in terms of i mean he always emphasizes individuals yeah that's being the most important thing that's that ayn rand thing it's not about that it's a it's

about the person you responsible for you doing you despite whatever comes at you because everything's always going to come at you it's and it's not a denial of racism racism is fucking horrible but what it is is a saying that like we can all we can all figure out a better way to navigate this than the shitty way that racists and bad people have done in the past. Right. You know what was kind of racist? I wanted to put African-Americans in my Christmas village. You couldn't. And you go online and try and look up uh african

american figurines for whatever it's it's not good they haven't oh no talk about not yet woke you've got there are there there are prisoners there's prisoners there's like worker like there's not a lot of like just regular families there's definitely. There's not a lot of just regular families. There's definitely a lot more of white people. Okay. Let's guess this. Let's guess this before we look it up. Yeah.

Because this might be one of them untapped things that people forgot to get outraged about. Is it possible that you can buy a ceramic slave? Yes. You think so? Well, through a store, maybe on the internet ebay for sure really yes you know how much stuff was put out into the culture of like uh alfalfa kind of representations of kids and slave children and how about that? I went through my grandmother's keepsakes at one point.

Like a shoebox of stuff. And she just had a postcard from her friend. It was two black kids eating watermelons. And I was like, Grandma, what the hell is this? I was like, you know, 15. She's like, oh, it's just a joke. But she wasn't... I only bring it up

because that was circulated that was being pumped out all the time in the culture so there's definitely stuff you can get second hand on ebay he's got a big smile on his face it's gonna be a real problem a lot of different slave stuff like roman slaves and slaves that like as long as they're white slaves were good you pay me some so like roman slaves that are dressed like they were in that Gladiator movie. That Gladiator movie. Remember that? Yeah, yeah.

He was a slave. Yeah. He had a fight. I got some here. Okay. So this is non-American. So all those slaves are like, isn't that interesting? It can't be like, it's got to be like, I didn't do it.

I didn't fucking put them guys. None of my people made them. People slaves. Fuck that, bro. Right? Like, you have to have Middle Eastern, you know, ancient. It starts getting a little squirrely. 100 BC.

Oh. Rowers. But those are white people. They're gray 3D printed. They haven't been painted. They look like Henry Fonda. They're up to the person who buys them, you know, to make them as accurate as they. Right. They look like Henry Fonda. They're up to the person who buys them, you know, to make them as accurate as they.

Right. They look like Henry Fonda. Like Kirk Douglas. They got some white ass features though. Yeah. White hair. They got white people hair. All right.

You know, I mean. Just put up racist dolls. I'm sure they'll come out. I was trying to go with that. This seems like an easy search. Don't get on the fucking list, Jeremy. Yeah. Let's just end this.

I'm trying to stumble across it instead of actually seeking it out. Good call, sir. Good call. Yeah. You just don't want certain things typed in. No, exactly. You know, it's like that Alexa thing. Do you have an Alexa at home?

Yeah. Alexa's listening right now. I know. That bitch. My friend told me, like, you really should take that off. And I'm like, why? I'm like, it's only when I talk. She's like, no, they, like, you really should take that off. And I'm like, why? I'm like, it's only when I talk. She's like, no, they listen all the time.

There was another murder case, and they confiscated the Alexa because they know the Alexa will have information from the last four days up to the murder. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. But it still plays my music, so I'm keeping it. You don't care. You're not killing anybody.

So this is, what is this, a doll that you could make a slave? It's a Lego. It's not Lego. I'm sorry. Play Mobile or something. You're supposed to put this. Oh, some bullshit Lego ripoff. He's got Lego hands.

Chain around his neck. I'd be mad if I bought that. I thought it was a Lego. Isn't that funny? Even if it was really cool, if you were a kid, your parents, like you said, I want Legos, and your parents brought you that. You're like, bitch, this is not Legos. This is some whack ass.

You're supposed to represent a pirate who was formerly a slave in historical context. That's hilarious. It's easier to write that sentence than to make a new Lego. He was a former slave in a historical context. Come on. What does that mean? I don't know. That means...

Represent a pirate who was a former slave in a historical context. That means he escaped... I know, but that's a weird way to put it. Isn't it? Yeah. Isn't that weird? That's so funny. That is so ridiculous.

Racist Toy Instructions? That's a news title. Or the question mark. Yeah. Those fucking misleading news titles. Yeah. Why? Racist toy instruction?

Tune in after the break. They made them fairly light. Notice how conservative they were? You know? They didn't make them super dark. Yeah. Even they knew that was a... We can't write this one get away with that we can make

him kind of brownish right that guy looked like he had a tan looked like he was uh like a spaniard yeah you know like like denego montoya yeah you killed my father prepared to die like that's what he looked like he didn't like he looked like a spaniard on a holiday where they caught a nice tan are you saying even the racist toy maker was like, no, dude, don't go too dark? Yes. I'm saying the racist toy maker was like, you know what? We just got to play it safe. Go with this color.

Yeah. Shoot for Guatemala. That's it. That's all I'm looking for. Do you go to mass on Christmas? No. No mass at all? I go to Willy Wonka's Golden Chocolate Factory

Wow No it's all nonsense man Why would I do that? I don't know I'm just asking Tradition because you grew up that way No I never grew up that way You didn't? I went to Catholic school

You didn't have church when you were a kid? Yeah we did but it was for a very short amount of time To say I grew up that way would be hard Because I was out by the time I was out of first grade Oh yeah They were talking about putting me back in for second grade, but we moved from New Jersey to San Francisco. Uh-huh. And we didn't find a Catholic school.

You know, Catholic schools cost money, too. Right. Went to public school after that. But I was just done. I hated it. Yeah. I was in fear of those fucking crazy people. And your parents didn't take you

to church or make you go they did a little bit i think the idea was back then that if you had kids you wanted your kids to go to catholic school you know there's a lot of people that did that in that neighborhood when i was little it was just a normal thing you did yeah and they were more strict and dude one thing that was for sure though like i had a conversation with my mom about it once she was like you know your grades were way better when you went in your catholic school and i was like yeah because i was fucking terrified to get them wrong they beat the shit out of you i don't want to live like that they never beat me no they definitely threatened me really yeah they threatened to make me sit on a

nail i'm gonna have to sit on a nail in the uh in the closet and stay here all night i hope you brought your blanket they're like really mean when you're like a little six-year-old kid, like that's fucked up. It's just a weird feeling to be stuck with these people for nine months. And also for me, it's like my parents were splitting up at the time. So it was very confusing.

And then I wanted things to have order to them. So I wanted God to make sense. I remember annoying people with that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like six years old. What do you mean to make sense. I remember annoying people with that. Yeah? Yeah, like six years old. What do you mean? I'd annoy people talking about what God wants.

What do you mean? Like you would- God says this, God wants that. Like I would say that. Oh, you would bug- Six years old. Right. Because I was a little kid who was dealing with my parents splitting up and there didn't seem to be any order in the world. And I was very nervous, right? So when I went to Catholic school, when I first got there, I was happy that I was going to go to Catholic school.

But then as I experienced it, at six years old, I started going, this is ridiculous. This doesn't make any sense. Like, first of all, these people are so mean. They're obviously being mean and nasty. They're not comforting and loving. And I was thinking as a six year old comparing them to the way

my grandma was or my mother was these ladies are nasty why are they being so mean and I'm like they don't represent God and I was like this is crazy and then you could see kids getting in trouble because their parents hadn't paid for their lunch and there was like this really

you tell your father to get that money in like there was a weirdness to it that just didn't seem loving or it didn't seem like what i thought of when i thought of you know christ and what i thought of right it seemed to me like oh no this is a dark little trap wow you can get sucked into so that's what's remarkable about that is not just the age but that you went from uh really really needing it in a very real way because what was happening with your family to like normally you wouldn't turn that quickly oh man within a year it sounds like by the time i was two yeah it was over by the time i was out of there usually that change doesn't happen for 15, 20 years. Well, outside of beating me or doing something sexual to me, just the mind fuck of dealing with those mean, nasty ladies scared the shit out of me.

I remember crying. They were calling me a baby because I was crying. I was like, whoa. Just not knowing how to deal with human beings. Yeah, when you're a six-year-old and this is going down, you're like, what have I done? I went from always being with my mom or being with my grandma, my grandfather. I're like, what have I done? Yeah. Like I went from always being with my mom or being with my grandma, my grandfather. I was like, everything's cool.

And then all of a sudden you're going to school and this is what you're doing in school. I didn't go to kindergarten. I went to first grade. It was the first thing I went to. Right. And so all of a sudden the first grade is like instantaneously being connected

to these crazy ladies. Jesus. I was like, oh no. Yeah. It's poor. And then I would think about them and I would think, what kind of, like, and I was thinking about why they're so mean.

I remember being like six years old thinking this. Right. And I was like, nobody probably loves them. Like, they don't get, they don't have a family. Yeah, they don't have a boyfriend. They don't have kids. They don't have a boyfriend. Yeah.

I didn't think at the time they don't have a girlfriend, but maybe they do. Holla. Right. Yeah. But for sure they didn't, the whole thing was that they didn't, you know, they didn't have anything. No connection with another human being. What could be lonelier or more anger inducing?

Yeah, it was just dark. They weren't loving people. Do any of your children ask about it? They don't even bring it up? We've talked about God. Yeah. And my basic take is um jordan peterson said something really lovely he said he behaves as if god is real he behaves as if god exists

interesting not that he believes god exists because that's sort of a yeah it's a bit of an intellectual trap right if you say do you believe god exists, define God. No, then you're in the weeds. What does that mean? Yeah. Because do you think that I think that there's a city in the clouds? No, I don't. Right.

No, I don't. Do you think that there's an energy, like we were talking before? Is it possible? Yeah. That there's something bigger than all this thing? Well, there's bigger than everything.

Like, if you talk to an ant and said, hey man, do you think there's cities and skyscrapers and airplanes? Like, what are you, fucking moron? Get out of here, bitch bitch i'm trying to drag this dead bug around how are you talking anyway i got time for your fucking galaxy talk yeah universe talk get the fuck out of here with your 5g bitch i got time dragging this bug yeah so i mean in our perspective when we're talking about things you know it's like we're we're so small

we're the way we interface with reality so crude even though it's amazing yeah but i like the idea of the not going into the whole intellectual discussion about god but just like yeah just you know who knows just kind of act like he does exist. It's a great way to live. It does make you act a little kinder. Yeah. It's like a parent figure. It's like, okay, we're not going to do this because it's going to make them unhappy. I try to do what I, like, when I'm at my best, I try to treat people as if they're me living another life. Treat people as if they're just a, a you know don't think people as a bother

or don't and it's hard to do it's hard to do especially when you're busy or when you have your kids with you or when you're trying to get something done yeah it's hard to do i try and walk walk around thinking everybody is drowning in insecurity right that really kind of makes me give people a pass in the biggest and smallest ways. Everybody, when you see people hustling to whatever businessman, businesswoman, looks like she's on top of her game. Person like on the subway who's obviously going someplace they don't want to go with no money in their pocket. If you realize we're all just drowning in insecurity, it just makes you just give them a little bit of a pass. That's been where my head's been at lately.

That's a great place to keep your head. Because we all are. Everyone's balled up. Everyone, even the person you admire the most is like, ah! Well, you know what we were talking about earlier about the traps that you fall into as you're trying to achieve and do things you also fall into traps even with things that you love and you can get so caught up in you know the things that you love that you kind of forget to keep your you know your your your your when you're at your best like what what feeling you keep that in close range yeah and if you feel like getting away from you because you're, you're, you're, you're, when you're at your best, like what, what feeling you keep that in close range. Yeah.

And if you feel like getting away from you because you're too tired, because you're working too much, because like you pull that back. Yeah. Keep, keep it at close range where you are operating at your best, but be respectful of that. Right.

And I think this is something that I've been guilty of in the past. I wasn't respectful of the energy that's required to be at your best. I just figured that I'll just do all these other things. Yeah, but I really firmly believe you only have so much bandwidth in a day. And this is coming from a person who pushes their bandwidth too hard all the time. I think you only have so much in a day.

And when you get to a certain state, you wind up diminishing a lot. And then I, you wind up diminishing a lot. And then I think you wind up diminishing a lot of the other things that you do. Like if you have like seven things cooking in the background on your phone, it's not going to move as fast. Right. Allegedly. Actually, it does work that way. Some computers.

But I think that people do that too. You have too many things cooking at the same time. Yeah, we all do. All the time. All the time all the time and then you take 20 minutes of transcendental meditation and take your nervous system and put it on restart and just let it wash out are you hypnotizing me bro this thing in your hand is freaking me out let it wash out 20 minutes okay because we're all under that all the time 100 frazzled no matter how hard you're pushing or just coasting three o'clock in the

afternoon two o'clock in the afternoon four o'clock in the afternoon that nervous system shot right we're all the same how do you do 20 minutes what do you do talk me through you take your nervous system and it's the result of it is you come out and you've rebooted the system and you can now have a good part of the second part of your day do you have a technique you use do you use an app do you know i went to uh i i went to a transcendental meditation teacher whoa and uh in without the hippy dippy that's the biggest part of it it literally makes you realize just what you said. We're all just frazzled and running out of steam at a certain point. Your nervous system is shot.

All that stuff that's happened just between 7 o'clock and 3 o'clock, whatever would happen, that nervous system has been dealing with a ton of stimulus all day long. That meditation gives you a reboot and you can't it it's it's like a needed thing that's better than sleep that you that you're it actually uh yearns for i'm telling you since i really started dialing it in and and did it it uh the best way i can describe it is that it added another four hours to my day whoa yeah how so because i would just be limping across the finish line i'd be exhausted i'd be trying to do and with motivation and i work really hard i would push through and get to maybe you know two hours more of what I needed to accomplish. When you do this effortlessly, without struggle, I'm able to just sail like I did between 9 and 12 that day.

Really? Yes. A hundred percent. Do you think by using this practice, you're alleviating tension so you're more efficient with your energy? That's part of it, but it really is taking this nervous system that is dealing with the outside world all the time and just giving it a real practical way to shut down, flatline, and then come back on the grid. Yeah. Yeah.

And it, like, your physical body needs a rest. Your things need to be rebooted. Your nervous system is kind of this thing that operates all the time that we're not really that conscious of. We're not really that aware of how hard it's working. And this is a way to pay attention to it and give it a chance to regenerate. That's interesting.

And how long have you been doing this? You know, I meditated for like since college, just out of reading books. And then probably about three years ago, my friend said, who always did transcendental meditation, he said, go just see if it dials you in. Actually, the stuff you're doing, the way you talk about meditating, it sounds more laborious. It sounds like you're doing too much work. Just go talk to this guy.

And I did. For like three, four sessions, I went and just talked to this guy here in la who's a transcendental meditation teacher and uh he just explained it and dialed me in on it and for the last three four years i've been just i haven't missed a day wow and three or four years yeah every day seven days seven days no cheat day no cheat day how long no need for a cheat day it's the opposite of what you want from a cheat day it's like 20 minutes where if you can get two in that's the best if you can get one in the morning and one in the afternoon then you're like superman wow but if you can get one in i'm telling you start to finish how long 20 20 minutes 20 and

you do this every day every day every day maybe that makes sense man because uh one of the things that people remark about you is uh how easy going you are like that like people said dude i love when tom poppins on your podcast because it's so easy going like you guys gel so well together you flow together yeah it's like you're you're tuned in to we're just present together we're just you know we're both you know yeah you're kind of not struggling right and that's what it teaches you you just this is a big roaring river yeah and it lets you just kind of go underneath catch your breath and then come back up into it yeah do you feel that way when you exercise do you feel like when you

exercise you get into like a zone and you you reset your brain for sure i feel less i feel less depressed when i exercise yeah like if i'm in a funk and i'm like i don't want to and i go for a run i'm like my day's different yeah it's weird it's almost like uh that funk is trying to hold on to control too it's weird yeah it's like it's tricking your brain yeah no dude you feel like shit today i was like let me just put these goddamn shoes on and go run yeah you know you feel so good but the meditation is different the meditation is like the the run will give me energy i won't feel so shitty i'm like i'm okay you know i feel good i feel alive and whatever but the meditation in a very subtle way, five hours later, when you're faced with a stressful situation, you don't feel as stressed as you normally would. Yeah.

Because it's just your nervous system, which is very powerful, has been rebooted and is now able to go and deal with another situation. You should go see him. Okay. I'll do it. I'll give you the name of the guy he's amazing i mean he's not amazing it's not a guru it's not the one sperm guy it is not about him one million it's not about a religion it's not about a people or a drop of my sperm this guy does will not give you his sperm he's just delivering the message of this little practice, which is very, it's not hippy-dippy.

It's very practical. You can use it. Yeah, that's the best part of it. Have you tried the tank before, the float tank? No. Would you be interested in doing it? We have one here. You can use it any time you want.

I would like to hear what your take on it is. Yeah? Yeah, especially if you wanted to practice those techniques in there. Yeah. I think that would be really interesting. It's a crazy environment, man. That would be great. Yeah. Especially if you wanted to practice those techniques in there. Yeah. I think that would be really interesting. It's a crazy environment, man. That would be great. Yeah, you should do it.

I'll do it. Yeah. For sure. Not today. I'm drunk. No, not today. But there's also, you know, there's a bunch of big places around, too. There's the float lab down in Venice, and they have one at Westwood.

What's the big place that's in Pasadena has the biggest one in the world? And people come in like a gym yeah man you just yeah you sign up go in there and float pasadena's got a giant just float yeah just float in pasadena shoot they don't they have like 40 fucking float tanks or some crazy shit i don't know how many they have but i think they use all float lab stuff too That would be cool. You know, it's another interesting thing. If you get the morning one in, you know how sometimes you wake up, you've slept. You went to bed at 11. Right.

You're up at 7. But you're exhausted because your night's sleep was restless. You got up to pee a couple times. Who knows? You look back at your bed, it was just a disaster. You do those 20 minutes before you go about your day, just before the kids get up, just get 20 minutes in. It's like you, it was more valuable than what you tried to accomplish in that eight hours spinning around in the sheets. Especially for someone like you, right, whose job is to create things yeah right to put

your mindset into put into a particular place is super beneficial if you're just creating things all the time totally but it's for everybody right right right it's literally like yeah we're all just human beings just struggling every day going out doing all this stuff and it's like you could be you know a single mom living in a city, taking the bus to work after dealing with your kids. Her nervous system is being bombarded. 20 minutes just to kind of sit in there on the bus. You could do it on the bus with all this other.

It's not a pristine thing. It's not a pristine thing. It's not a hippie thing. It's not an – I was going to say elegant, but it is kind of elegant. It's not a special thing. It really is just like a controlled nap in a way. And it just gives you more to go on. We're all, everybody, no matter what you're creating, no matter what you're doing,

we're all under assault all the time, right? Yeah. I mean, not, you know, don't equate it to war, but there's like bombardments of energy and stuff that's coming after you all the time. You have to kind of tend to the system that's dealing with that. Yeah. I think anything that gives you a perspective reshift or reboot is great yeah anything you know whether it's um going for a

swim in the ocean you know whatever the fuck it is yeah something that gives you a perspective reboot we get we get caught in some pretty gross ruts yeah perspective reboot is a cool way to say it yeah i think um we have these uh views of the world sort of we have this um these these patterns that we sort of recognize we see them they're out there and we get locked into them and we're just yeah visiting the same websites and seeing the same people and doing the same things every day yeah and sometimes you need something different yeah some yeah to knock you out you need something that gets you to think about other stuff yeah you know maybe it's going to a place this is why travel is so good i used to never get travel when i was a kid yeah i was like who the fuck wants to travel i like being home but one of the i do like being home but one of the things

about travel is it allows you experience the feel of someone's culture in real life like you're walking through the streets of cologne germany like you're like wow this is how these people live like it's crazy yeah you walk through the streets of rome takes you out of yourself yeah it gives you this first of all it gives you this appreciation that there's different rules over here but these are still people modern people just like you yeah and then some of your ancestors came from here right and but here they are with those different rules millions of them yeah millions of them then they got people that are coming into them from africa and it's like whoa like this is crazy i guess this whole thing is like fascinating this is uh and then you're about around you know pompeii and you're

seeing the ruins that were mount vesuvius erupted yeah all these people and you're wandering through all this stuff Like this is fascinating Yeah It's a long way From thinking about The three apps That you sit on your phone Every day

And get your news And get your thing And check your Instagram And check your Facebook That's a whole nother Whole nother mind blower Oh my god It's a whole universe

Of other stuff to think about Yeah That's why I love Walking in New York Like you have your routines Of like where you're walking Just get on the other Side of the street

And go the other direction. You're a wild man. It's a whole nother world. But really, it's like just literally like when you're on your run with your dog and you, if you just look the other way from when you normally are like doing your thing, it's a whole nother perspective. It's a whole nother world. It's crazy whole nother perspective. It's a whole nother world. It's crazy.

But literally just looking the other way, running the other direction. It's true. But look, it's not a small thing because we like the order. We like that provides calm and safety if you're just going that same route all the time. But then there's a limit, I guess, and and you end up it starts acting negatively on your life and you're right if you're just a constant vagabond traveling around the globe that's probably not not positive either right yeah always going to the place never having a home i love home yeah i love home too i love home which is so weird in a in a uh career where we have to travel so much.

Yeah. But don't you think that, I mean, I hate to say, like, equate it to good and evil, but that there's some weird sort of balance in this life. And that we do really have to experience negative things to appreciate positive things for what they really are. Appreciate positive things for what they really are. If everything is positive, if you're the lottery winner when you're five, and you win that golden power ticket, 500 million jammy when you're five years old. And it's all made. Then you don't have to.

Imagine that growing up. It'd ruin your life. And you're like, listen, little Tommy, you never have to work again. It would ruin your life. What are you talking about? Grandpa bought you a lottery ticket when you were five. Yeah. If you'd be so nice to give us some of that money, that would be but you have 790 million dollars like what grandpa yeah grandpa put it in a trust

and it's all yours and you can have it yeah when you turn 18 but you could give us some of it now there's a sign right here come on billy you would be fucked imagine growing up being like richie rich yeah no you'd be a mess you'd be like what the fuck it Yeah, no, you'd be a mess. You'd be like, what the fuck? You'd be a mess. You'd have a face full of cocaine, chasing these feelings that you can't get just from practical, everyday work. Can you imagine? Remember that fucking cartoon, Richie Rich? Oh, yeah.

I used to buy his comic books. Every year at the Jersey Shore, I'd get his comic books. He always had new ones. That's got to be one of the weirdest cartoons of all time. A really rich kid. Really rich. really with all the money in the world well all the poor kids would read it and go fuck i wish i was richy rich man this guy's got everything he's got his own go cart look at him sitting there he's got bachelors he's got a sundae chocolates i want my little dear boy comfy while he takes a nap teehee and he says oh well thanks mom thanks bring over candy and there's a butler dressed like that dude with the tailcoat coincidentally but look at his but

look at it look at the name of it it's richie rich the poor little rich boy right that's what it was the poor little rich boy because he's not happy because he's not happy right look he's really sad well first of all look at the size of his ankles jesus christ kid's got g. He's not taking care of. Because he's not happy. Right. Look, he's really sad. Well, first of all, look at the size of his ankles. Jesus Christ. Kid's got gout. He's got the gout. He's got gout for sure. But the dude who's got the ice cream sundae, he's the same dress, the same as, go back

to the picture, please. The dude with the ice cream sundae is the- In the very top. Yeah. He's wearing the same clothes that we were mocking in the other thing. Ah, that's right. You're right. He's wearing the same clothes that we were mocking in the other that's right you're right he's wearing the tails that's the whole same jamming the whole get up the 1800s get up see i used to think about a guy like that like in the shining or something like that when there's some butler and i would think of oh that's a proper man that's a man that he's

the guy from the shining and he's just gonna come over and be proper yeah normal normal but then as i got older i realized like oh no no no no that's a guy it's just that's just a guy and this guy has this fucked up job where he has to dress like he lives in another time period and wait on all these rich white people like what in the fuck is this that's a tortured man right there okay if you were a serious black rapper like one of them guys with diamond teeth wouldn't you get a diamond a white servant like that guy yeah that's so funny all white butlers yes all white butlers just like super super high-end guys from england yeah. They're professionals. It's true.

Why don't they do that? He's a professional butler, sir. It's hilarious. I love Diamond Teeth. Yeah. Yeah, poor little Richie Rich. He wasn't happy. His name's Cadbury.

Cadbury? The perfect butler. Oh, Cadbury. The perfect butler. Cadbury was his butler. Look at him. Oh, Cadbury. The perfect butler. Bring over that Sunday. Look at him. Oh, Cadbury. The perfect butler.

Bring over that Sunday. Look at that other poor kid. He's all deformed and shit. He looks like he's evolving. That other kid looks like his grandparents were those Australopithecus. And Richie Rich is like, I'll show you what it's like to be rich, rich, rich, rich, rich. I never had these. Neanderthal looking fella i never

sat at a table before look at that blow that picture that kid again out tell me he doesn't look neanderthal-esque he does he has a monkey face fucking straight up does he does he's got total neanderthal thing his ears are real low isn't quite big enough but they definitely gave him some odd features he does look terrible yeah he's got a bald patch in the back of his head looks like he had a bullet wound someone tried to scalp him poor little guy poor little fella what was his name i don't know fuck face it's richie rich cadbury and his friend fuck face oh girlfriends he's got i had all these comic books. Look at this. Look at all the girls. Yeah.

That is hilarious. Hit the Bill's eye. So is one of them his mom? The lady with the blonde hair is his mom, right? Little Lotta is her name. Oh, but the blonde hair is his mom, right? Little Lotta. Little Otta?

Lotta. Lotta. Their names are written down. Oh, Little Lotta. Little Dot and then Glory. Oh, Christ. They're all his girlfriends. Little Lotta. Get it?

She's big. You get it? I swear to God I'm having flashbacks from every summer as a child. I'd go to this bookstore and there'd be comic books. And I'd buy these little rich, richy-rich comic books and go home and read them. Look, he's looking at his shadow. It's his dollar bills for his shadow. He's got a hot girlfriend.

When is a badass rapper going to recreate this picture for the cover of his album? I think that would be perfect for like Gucci Mane. Richie Rich, yo. Come on, tell me that wouldn't be. Have him walk away. Let me Google. Because he might have already done it. Because he takes a lot of pictures with his lovely wife.

That would be a perfect picture for Gucci Mane and his wife. Dollar bill behind him. Holla. Dollar bill, y'all. It's so weird, right? What a crazy idea for a comic strip. A rapper named Richie Rich. Oh, there you go.

Yeah, and I don't remember it being like, they weren't really sending a message like, money isn't important. No. That was awesome. Wouldn't you want to be Richie? That was the moral. He could get ice cream whenever he wanted it. That was always the thing, too. They're always getting ice cream.

Cadbury, the perfect butler. Frightfully fit. Oh. Yes, Mrs. Rich, one should keep fit. I exercise all the time. How interesting, Cadbury. That's literally the lines. That's the comedy.

Look at the size of her arms. Oh, they're like ham hocks. Like she just mounts you and just wraps your head up in those arms and smothers you to death. You try to chew your way out, but you run out of air. You run out of air. How interesting, Cad oh interesting she kills you with those meat flaps get over here cadbury and if she's ever in trouble she could literally leap off a building with those things just glide to safety look at him wow cadbury's fucking jacked

he takes off his look at him on the left he's jacked he's going into a hot tub he's got a towel on and no shirt he's ripped when did cadbury became so and look at him what a butler whoa homoerotic what a butler so strange wait a minute i've been keeping you're putting your oh god look what he says there gosh i've been keeping you from your bath, Cadbury. I'm sorry. Please go. No need for apology, sir. Someday I shall relate this story of how I once lost all my clothes at the South Pole. And then he says, what a butler, as he's walking him to walk away with this tiny little towel around his junk. Look how little that towel is.

Where do you even find a towel that little that makes it all the way around your ass? Yeah, he's... Right? It's true. Every other towel that's that little... One small, long towel. Your dick will be hanging out, son. You got to make a choice.

You covering your dick or you covering your asshole, but you're definitely not covering both. The towel is that width. What kind of strange snake-like towel are you possessing? Six inches across, 12 feet long. Yeah, Cadbury got on the juice. Started lifting. Got a fitness coach.

That's so funny. That was very homoerotic. It was weird. They were allowed to do weird stuff back then. Imagine if you had that cartoon today. Fucking feds would show up at your door. Yeah. Hey, Tom Papa, let's see your fucking hard drive.

Another one of the pedophile conspiracy. Creepy piece of shit. The fuck you been up to? Tom Papa, look what's up. This podcast is five hours long. How long have we gone today? Three hours and a half,

at least, right? Yeah, three, 12, 15. It's the best. Tom Papa, it's so easy to talk to you, my friend. Do you have anything you're selling?

Thanks for the wine. My pleasure. Stick around for a while. I don't want you driving anywhere. They can listen to my podcast. Okay. Come to Papa. Come to Papa.

And what is this other thing? The NPR? NPR Live From Here. It's called Live From Here. Live From Here. Every week. Six o'clock east on your national public radio, whatever. And when are you going to be at the lovely comedy store next?

Probably tomorrow. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Got to work out some stuff. Want to do my sold-out show in the main room? Yeah. Okay.

Tomorrow? 8 p.m. show. I'm there. Holla. Sweet. Look at that, folks. We just made a booking. I'm on. All right.

Thank you, everybody. Bye. Bye. Bye. Cool. That's great