The Joe Rogan Experience - #1232 - Nick Di Paolo

Episode Date: January 25, 2019

Nick Di Paolo is a writer and stand up comedian. Check out "The Nick Di Paolo Show" at http://nickdip.com and on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCghHWRYUpbsUdcsG7PrTgzQ

crazy dude i have a lot of friends that are fall off crazies boom and we're live nick to paulo yeah baby how are you good good to see you my friend i can't believe the gym out there it's nice right with a porsche park next to it you got to be able to work out where you work if you do that you get more in next to your porsche yeah two bad things not working out well for you joe. I see what you're doing. I'm not doing anything. You know me. I'm right up front.

So we were talking before the podcast and I said save this because it's hilarious. Yeah. Randy Credico was a stand-up comedian has been involved in this Roger Stone thing?

Yes. As you know, Roger Stone this morning the FBI raided you know, took him out of his house in his pajamas and shit.

Who I love. Roger Stone interviewed me on the FBI raided, you know, took him out of his house in his pajamas. Who I love. Roger Stone interviewed me on InfoWars. He used to love my radio show on Sirius. Yeah, they asked me to get him on, and I was like, eh, I think I'm going to duck that one. But he's fucking eccentric and crazy. He's a loon. Yeah, and so is Randy. And they've known each other forever.

And are they friends? Well, they were. Really? Until all this shit started. And, oh, it's fucking classic. But Randy Crudico's radical left. He did a comedy album years ago. Yeah. It was him and a bunch of other guys.

And it was all political. it was like five guys or three a few guys i forget how many guys i think cremmons was on it oh sure it was credico yeah and uh maybe jimmy tingle yeah yeah and they they had like a whole thing they were doing almost like a like a tour you know and like super left-wing politically aware this is fucking way back in the day i want to say this is the 90s they were doing this yeah yeah i mean he was he was he was always funny i mean i'd watch him die every night at the uh catch rising star because he's he'd be up there doing such inside political shit he'd be talking about a bill that was passed that day on the floor or whatever the fuck and the crowd would be

staring at him. And he had a hot Asian girlfriend and he'd be dying up there. This is when I fell in love with him. And he goes, he goes, that's my girlfriend over there. I taught her four words in English.

Not you, crowd suck. I mean, he was really fucking funny, but so political and inside and inside. He stayed in my apartment when I lived out here in L.A., and he fucking tried to pick up my wife after I left. I had to go on the road somewhere, but I still love him. He's fucking crazy.

But he sent me a picture of him, 2016, in front of the embassy in London, where what's-his name, was held up? Assange. Really? Yes. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What's he doing out there? And then all that shit came out about WikiLeaks and stuff. So they thought he might have been the intermediary. Yeah, so he's gone in front of... For Roger Stone? He's gone in front of Mueller a couple times.

And so... There it is right here. Who is Randy Credico? The guy stayed in my apartment! and so... There it is right here. Who is Randy Credico? Ryan Stone threatened to take away... The guy stayed in my apartment. ...Associa's dog if he cooperated with Russia to investigate.

What? He threatened to take away his dog? Oh, fucking... You gotta read the text that Roger Stone... They're public, I think, sent to Randy. I'm gonna take your dog?

Oh, yeah. He goes, let's get it on. Be prepared to die. I'm gonna take your fucking... That's why I love this guy. This guy had a Nixon tattoo when on. Be prepared to die. I'm going to take your fucking... That's why I love this guy. This guy had a Nixon tattoo when he was 18 on his back. Roger Stone did?

Yes. He marched in the gay parade in New York. I fucking love him. He's nuts. Why'd he march in the gay parade in New York? Is he pro-gay rights? Well, he's pro just... Yeah.

You know, express yourself. So he's just all over the place. He's all over the place. But he's a right... I mean, he had a Nixon tattoo. He's a fucking right wing. But... Out of all the right wing people to get look look that is so ridiculous the fucking nixon that's a good tattoo too i know i did that and that guy's 60 something years old at least and he loved my

radio show on serious and and he uh he did he hosted info wars it was about six months ago he had me on as a guest when i got punched in the face by that broad. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. So, yeah, they raided the FBI, raided his house, took him out today. And he got out on $250,000 bond. And he wanted Credico to stop contesting what Stone said in front of when he testified. So Stone said one thing.

That's not how it went down. So they're fighting and shit. And then he's threatening them. And, but yeah, Randy, so I text Randy today. I go, I'm doing Rogan. I mean, if you want to weigh in, and he's like,

well, call me before the show or let me know. He goes, there's not too much I can say right now. But what's funny is I know both these guys. That is so weird. That is so weird. That's so weird.

And he said, yeah, let me know. He goes, I can't say much because they just arrested the FBI. They're going to turn. They're trying to. I see what Mueller's doing. He's turning Roger Stone against Trump. Trump is the target. Yes.

So he's going to threaten him. He's 60-something years old, so he can spend the rest of his life in prison or talk. Yeah. Well, he's doing that with everybody. He's 60 something years old so he could spend the rest of his life in prison or talk yeah you know well he's doing that with everybody he's a scary guy muller if he if you had a problem and that guy was coming after you like oh my god because he's gonna do it slow like by the time this actually gets to trump he's gonna be i don't think they do that slow they do they start whatever they want i think that's different than what you're thinking anyway i'm very confused by the time they get to trump he's already so nerve-wracked you know what i'm saying because he like chips away at his borders like slowly but surely takes

away all the people around him yeah he gets closer and you know you know you know he's concentrating on the family you know of course of. Of course. Of course. That's what he does. And he even does that with people like Stone. He'll go after your family and stuff. You notice you never hear a word out of Ivanka anymore? No, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

Guarantee you. Yeah. Guarantee you they scared the fuck out of her. But if you want to know about Mueller, like you said, and how fucking creepy he is, he was the head of the FBI during the 80s of the whitey bulger shit went down whoa yeah and he put four guys in per he listened to this joe and this you can look this up this is amazing four guys he put in prison and wrongly it turns out two of them died in prison whoa yeah you can google because of bulger uh it had to do with that because yes they would do

things and the fbi would let them get away with it because they were providing information. That's right. That was the whole Bulger thing. That's exactly right. And two guys died in prison, wrongly, by the way. This guy's not a fucking good guy. I know he's a Marine, a decorated Marine and shit. They make those sacrifices.

They make those decisions where they're just going to help a person who's a criminal because that criminal's providing information that can allow them to get more criminals well yeah larger whitey was providing all kinds of shit about the guineas and east boston that was a great movie too by the way you know i used to train a guy who was one of whitey's hit men dana white no no no dana white dana white got threatened he had to move out of town it was was a bulger, wasn't it? Yeah. Bulger related. Yes, it was bulger related. When I was teaching Taekwondo, I had one of the guys that was in my class that was whacking people for Whitey Bulger. He was asking me, if you want to kill somebody with your bare hands, where would you hit

them? I was like, the neck. I was like 18. I was like, oh. He goes, correct, Joe. I was like, good. Yeah. I like that.

Who was it? Kevin? No. No. No. But Kevin, he went away too. Yes. Another tough kid. Yeah. All related that. Who was it? Kevin? No. No. No. But, you know, Kevin, you know, he went away too. Yes. Another tough kid.

Yeah. All related. All of them together. You know, this guy was a different guy. This guy was, he went away too. But, I mean, he went away forever. He was one of those guys. Like, they caught him with blood under his fingernails.

And he was working with Whitey? Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of guys that were. I mean, it was a big organization. When we were kids, I mean, everybody knew. It was a big organization. I mean, it wasn't a fucking secret.

Oh, no. Oh, I know. How did Hannity's attempt to link Mueller to Whitey Bulger hold up? This article in the Boston Globe says that's not true. Whatever. It's the FBI. He wasn't there. I know.

You're going to... He wasn't there? He wasn't there then. Oh, he wasn't at the FBI. Yeah, it says he... Mueller served the U.S. Attorney's Office in Boston from 82 to 88 as chief of the criminal division, first assistant U.S. attorney and acting U.S. attorney for more than a year. During that time, Bulger ran a sprawling criminal enterprise and got away with murders

because he was a longtime FBI informant who corrupted his handlers, the FBI. He corrupted his handlers. I love it. And the FBI and the New England Organized Crime Strike Force, a prosecutorial unit that worked independently in the U.S. Attorney's Office, reported directly to the Justice

Department, used Bulger to build cases against the mafia and give him a pass on his own crimes. The FBI's corrupt relationship with Bulger was exposed after he was indicted on federal racketeering charges in 1995 became a fugitive he was captured 16 years later yeah i would hear yeah so yeah he was captured in santa monica i know so when did mueller says did mueller know the four men have been wrongly

convicted and look the other way there's nothing linking mueller to that case according to several attorneys for for the men voluminous court records, and a former federal judge who presided over their wrongful imprisonment trial. In 2007, the U.S. District Judge Nancy Gertner found the FBI deliberately withheld evidence that the four men were innocent. The bureau helped cover up the injustice for...

Jesus Christ, I fucking hate reading shit like that. She ordered the government to pay the men and their families $101.7 million. Okay, maybe worth it. How long did you guys go away for? Let's be honest. You were never going to make $100 million. That's chicken scratch to you. If they all got $100 million, if every one of them got $100 million, I mean, I'm in.

I mean, how much time do you have to do? How many times do you get fucked where you're in jail how bad is it per load fuck man so maybe it was just a rumor that he was a part of that well like you said though that's the fbi as soon as the story broke i'm sure they called the paper and said listen get your facts straight well how crazy is it the fbi covered up the information and knew those guys were innocent. That is dark. Yeah. Who went to jail for that? Did the guys who covered it up go to jail?

I'm not sure. Ugh. But two of them died. You can't. They died in jail? Two of them died in jail. Ugh. I'm sure you can go.

You know they caught him because his wife was yelling and shit all the time? Yeah, she was Coco. He had fucking cash on the yelling and shit all the time yeah she was coco he had fucking cash on the walls and shit did he i used to sell meat door-to-door when i before i started comedy and i used to go to fucking winter hill not knowing where i was and i would i would wonder why people look at my i take out my shit and they go that's like that breaks down like 40 bucks a pound get the fuck out and then somebody explained to me you know know, what the hell is like Whitey Bulch's? Wow. So you were selling meat in his neighborhood.

Oh, yeah. Fucking same in East Boston. I knocked on the door. A couple of guys in Revere that were like fucking connected. My buddy, I don't know who they were and shit later on. Well, they probably knew people from meatpacking. They probably got it right off the boat. Of course.

Of course. And I'm doing my little spiel there for a boiler you know a fucking boiler room operation oh you break it down pour a meal it comes out there three bucks a minute and they're doing the math in the head you could tell they were like bookies you know they're like that's like 40 bucks a pound get the fuck off my steps wasn't really that much but it was it was ridiculous you know but uh and i was in rhode island uh banging doors and i and and uh i got the same response and i looked down. I see in the streets, the lines on the streets are red, white, and green.

I was in Federal Hill in Providence where the mafia started. Look at that article. Look at this. Whitey Bulger's Santa Monica hideout was full of money. It still brims with mystery. He was living in like a normal apartment. I know. So weird.

He had $822,000 in cash and valuables. Wow. Jesus Christ. I like that movie. I thought Johnny822,000 in cash and valuables. Wow. Jesus Christ. I like that movie. I thought Johnny Depp was great in that. Yeah, he was. He was great in it. Yeah.

That's a creepy dude. Yeah, he was as creepy as they get. It's just amazing how much corruption was involved in that case. Yes. And that the federal government was a part of it, and they let that monster, they let him thrive. Yeah. Yeah. So it makes you wonder about the FBI today. Well, it should it should make you wonder it shows you what they're capable of yeah well it

that way whenever you're doing that whenever you're allowing someone to commit murder and deal drugs to get other people that are committing murder and dealing drugs like what yeah because they would just want they just look what happens with cops and this is very unfortunate, but this is just what happens when you have a game. And the game is arrest people. The game is win, right? You have a certain amount of callers you have to make. And if you can make more callers because you're in bed with a bad guy, especially if maybe you grew up in that neighborhood and it's always been kind of an accepted part of that neighborhood. Yeah, that guy Conley grew up with one.

Yeah, exactly. Makes a sneaky little deal. Yeah. Oof. Well, same with lawyers. It's all about, it's like sports. You have to have a winning record.

You're not going to succeed. So they, you know, they play outside the rules. I mean, that's one of the reasons why cops and people have such a weird relationship because they're always looking to arrest people. And your cop's talking,

and you're like, ah, don't put me on your record. Come yeah and they just want maybe i can get you for something yeah i gotta get somebody no i know when they have quotas like when you have quote like what would what would the police force do if nobody broke crimes anymore that make shit up if they what would they do like legitimately if they have if they really do that would never happen it would never happen But what if everybody Got on mushrooms And the world

Is that the solution? Yeah yeah The world got cleaned up I was wondering How long it would take To get to that Not much Not much time

A couple years A couple years No I mean in the conversation To mushrooms I got some right here If you want some Dude I can't even handle Regular mushrooms

Fucking chant Shitake make me crazy I don't know how you do that shit. We had that discussion. DMT and fucking. Portobello. Nice glaze. A demi-glaze on it.

Yeah. It just, the whole, I mean, the Mueller thing is very, it's very interesting. It's very interesting because you're watching a professional, like, cast a web. Like, nice and slow. Yeah. Nice and slow slow this is the full force of the fbi against you and and if they'll do it against a roger stone like you said they'll do you know yeah it's creepy well jamie said they opened up the government today to distract from the fact that roger stone got arrested most likely i think you're right i think that's a good assessment. I guess. I mean, Trump's the final target, so.

But yeah, he's going to threaten Stone with, you know, he's like 66. Yeah. Threatens him with 10 years. He's probably going to. Yeah, he's going to sing. That's enough to fucking make him sing. But he's such a. Sing a song.

Like Dershowitz says, they don't just sing. They actually, how did Dershowitz put it? They actually come up with the lyrics they create. They don't just sing. What do you think is going to happen to Trump, if you had to guess? As far as this investigation? Nothing. Really?

Pass that coffee over here. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks, brother. Why do you think nothing's going to happen? Well, that's over here. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks, brother. Why do you think nothing's going to happen? Well, that's not true. I shouldn't say that, only because I think Mueller's pretty fucking evil and will come up with something. Well, you know, what, impeachment at the worst?

But where's the high crimes and misdemeanors? Well, if there was obstruction of justice, if there was collusion, if there was any sort of – if they can prove that there was some sort of concerted effort to undermine democracy. Yeah, which I don't think they'll get them. Even with Roger Stone, they're not charging him with collusion or conspiracy, just lying and covering up. They don't have him for collusion or conspiracy. They're lying, covering up the interactions with Russians, right? Is that what it is? I guess that would be Mueller's angle, yeah.

You know, Jamie was talking about something yesterday, and I started listening to this recent Sam Harris podcast, and it is fucking fascinating how much Russian troll farms and all these fake accounts and what they're trying to do. And one of the things they're trying to do is, what Jamie was saying was that that kid with the MAGA hat, with the Native American beating the drum in front of him, the image of that was posted by this website that turned out to be a Russian troll farm. But it was in Brazil. Was it, Jamie? It was a blogger in Brazil.

Yeah. When CNN looked into it They just kind of asked Twitter What's going on with this account? And by the time they'd asked them They just suspended the account So it's gone But you said they suspended the account

Because the account was a fake account Yeah, they had They thought it was posing as like a California teacher Yeah, her name's Talia Yeah But it was an actual blogger in Brazil Oh, so it was Brazil actual blogger in Brazil. Oh, so it was Brazil, it wasn't Russian?

No. I wasn't sure. I just was sort of saying it was going into a fake account of something. But yes, they saw seeds of... Yeah, well, they're trying to get people against each other. Of course. They're doing that in a... People need to understand that this is actually really happening. Well, do we need their help? Really? To turn against each other?

Do we need the Russians' help? Well, if you stop stop and think about it has there ever been a time where the left and the right were more at each other's throats cnn's enough you don't need russia was there every time but but are cnn enough to really get people turned against each other like this no fucking way you need angry discourse online and the way that comes from from, there's an amazing Radiolab podcast about this where they talk to people that actually worked in these troll farms. And that these people, they would both be left-wing and right-wing. And this is one of the things that they're talking about on the Sam Harris podcast. I think it's called War of Information. But they'll pose as like pro-choice people and say ridiculous shit yes

like over the top ridiculous and then they'll pose as pro-life people with like a american flag and you know maga in the in the you know the hashtag and they're they're heading but they have nothing to do with that they're just russians and they're just trying to get people riled up and you see people jump on board and start chiming in but um i was talking to a comic that we were talking about that i won't bring his name up but he referred me to this this russian guy i can't i'm not gonna remember his name but this is a clip of this russian guy who worked for the kgb defected over here and he was explaining how russia does that yeah and he was explaining how Russia does that. Yeah.

And this was back in the 80s. Oh, well, we do it too. Everybody does it. They all do it. Everybody does it. They fuck with the system in any way, shape, or form in order to achieve

a desired result. I think the Russians are the best at it, apparently. Well, I just think they're way more dedicated to it. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a sneaky way to go about doing things too

because Russia doesn't have the the kind of money that the united states has they got nothing they have you know their economy is the size of texas yeah all they have is nuclear weapons they're almost like a third world and a brutal dictator and a dictator yeah that's all it takes but as far as the economy and everything they they're like a third world shithole. Well, they're like a small European country. But it's really interesting when you listen to these podcasts about how much effort they put into sowing discourse or discord to getting people upset with each other, to starting arguments, and to saying things that are going to upset people in order to get the right versus the left. To undermine democracy from the inside. Yeah. It's really interesting.

I mean, it's weird that it works, but it makes sense that it works. Sure. I mean, it's a sneaky-ass strategy. Yeah. You think CNN does just as good a job? They fucking horrible. But you're so right-wing. I'm not so right-wing, John. How right middle middle right i'd say center right of center right of

center right of center yeah yeah yeah what's wrong with cnn oh do you like it first of all i don't need to hear it in every fucking airport before i'm doing a gig the last fucking words i want to hear wolf blitzer before my plane crashes Somebody told me Wolf Blitzer got on Jeopardy And they exposed him Yes I remember reading that too Because you know

People get on television They read off a teleprompter You think they're brilliant They seem brilliant You know They seem so smart Absolutely Then you get them alone

How about Louis goes on Jeopardy and wins What Louis C.K.? Yeah Did he? Yeah Remember they have celebrities on once in a while When did he do that? A couple years ago Did he go on withopardy and wins. What, Louis C.K.? Yeah. Did he? Yeah. Remember they have celebrities on once in a while? When did he do that?

A couple years ago. Did he go on with regular people and win? I forget who he's against. I think it was other famous people. That makes sense. Most famous people are stupid. Remember Jonathan Groff? Yeah.

Oh, he's very smart. Well, do you remember he went on Jeopardy against regular people? And he won the tournament. Yeah. He won the whole tournament, a comic. Yeah. So, folks, don't take us lightly. Does he still write for, there he is blitzer minus four thousand dollars you dumbass

yeah it didn't work out so well uh that's fucking funny it is hilarious well you know people can pretend to be smart you know you read off the teleprompter they give you the script you know but john was jonathan gro, does he still write for Conan? That's a good question. I don't know. He was writing for Conan the last time I saw him. But he was fucking really, really bright. Funny guy, too.

And really funny. Yeah. I don't think he does stand-up anymore, though. I think he just writes. That's how smart he is. He's like, enough of this. Nonsense. This jokey joke nonsense.

Enough is enough. I'm starting to feel that way yeah um but what why do you hate cnn oh come on all the fucking shit they put out there and uh just an example how about before the when donna brazil had the notes for hillary before the fucking bernie yes remember that wasn't that enough to discredit yes she was a pundit right and they still had her on that's what's ridiculous that they had her on after that yeah they told her what the questions were going to be yeah yeah well her book was amazing though that that's what's interesting is they fucked her over and then she came out with a book and ripped them that book is dark i haven't i haven't read it yet i've only read passages of it, but what I read about how they rigged the DNC, how they

fucked Bernie out of the primaries. Yeah. Yeah. Oof. Oof. Yeah. Bernie gets screwed. It's a dark business.

Oh, it's fucking. It's all the same. They're all in cahoots. But you don't think the mainstream media is sort of like a propaganda arm for the Democratic Party? Well, they definitely think they're working for the good but it's 93 negative coverage with trump right trump is an you know he's an unusually polarizing figure sure i mean was it that way with um well i guess i was probably pretty negative with bush oh it was a different

world back then no it was but they, since I've been a kid. I mean, Reagan was a dummy and just a fucking B actor and an idiot and a racist. You can look at this shit year after year. It's true. George Bush Sr., George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, War Monger. It's the same shit. Racist, bigot, racist. And it works.

And Ford. It works. Ford was a moron. And Ford was, remember how he was portrayed on SNL? Yeah, he yeah he was always falling down he couldn't walk three feet which was kind of true actually and he was an athlete but but it's always been that way the mainstream media has always sort of uh been more liberal you know right but then you have fox news which goes far the other way well with their opinion shows but at least when you watch fox news which everybody who hates fox who's never watches it number one uh but but they at least have liberals on and shepherd smith fucking hates yes yes he does he looks like every guy that bullied him as a kid

do you think that's why he hates him yeah i do that's it that's the only reason yeah the only reason i do nothing that's the reason most of them hate him he's he here's what's here's what they don't bring up even h Hannity and all these guys. You get your head going like a pigeon. Oh, for Christ's sake. Let's change the subject. He's getting irritated with me already. I got to get you out of L.A.

I'm afraid you're going to get diseased. I'm fine. Everything's good over here. No, I know. Tell me about it. But what were we just talking about? Why they hate Trump. They never bring up this, though.

Because he's an alpha male, blonde-haired, blue-eyed fucking billionaire. What were we just talking about? Why they hate Trump. They never bring up this, though. Because he's an alpha male, blonde-haired, blue-eyed fucking billionaire. That's the embodiment of the devil for the left. They never bring that up on the show. Do you think that's really what it is? It has nothing to do with him lying all the time? What's he lie about? The number of people at his inauguration?

As opposed to Obama going, oh, you can keep your health care. I mean, the fucking, you know. He doesn't lie any more than any other president. You don't think so? If he does, it's trivial shit. He's a salesman. He's a fine line. Well, he's definitely a salesman.

Oh, he's a bullshitter. But that's what we need. We're a corporation. We're a corporation. The country is? Don't you think so? That's what I always heard. It's kind of like that.

A little bit. I mean, it's some sort of an organization. Does Hillary Clinton lie at all? Oh, yeah, for sure. Well, why didn't you get called on it? How is that fat twat not in cups? Oh, how dare you? It is a good question.

Yeah, it's a great question. I was talking to Mike Baker, who used to work for the CIA. Oh, I thought you meant my fucking web guy. No, different Mike Baker. Because he wanted to come out here with me. Mike Baker from the CIA said if he did anything remotely like what Hillary did, he'd be in jail for 30 years. Of course. Yeah. Remember the kid in the submarine that worked for the Navy that took pictures of the submarine?

I mean, he took a a selfie and it had bad shit in the background that he wasn't supposed to take photos of. And how long was he in jail? I don't know. So, I would just like to see

some equity as far as people being held accountable on both sides. Well, maybe it would have been different if Hillary made it through. Maybe it would have been different

in terms of like media coverage if she actually became president. They would have sucked her ass. You think so? Yeah. I think so. I don't know, man. Once Donna Brazile's book came out and people have an understanding about the inner workings of the party.

I mean, I think, look, politics, it's a dirty, dirty business. It's not big. It's dirty. It's worse than podcasts. But podcasts are pretty clean. I know. Like, relatively. It's very clean.

That's why people come to it now. You can't get the truth from mainstream media. Well, I was trying to explain to a friend who was talking about doing a podcast deal with a network. And I was like, stop. You can't do that. This is the one thing that you can have where it can be mainstream and it's free of everything. Free of any influence.

And you're going to let a bunch of pencil pushers and button pressers, they're going to tell you what you can and can't say, which direction you can and can't go. They're going to try to influence you. But isn't Google doing that? No. What do you mean? With conservatives, like shutting down Dennis Pra? No What do you mean? With conservatives Like shutting down Dennis Prager It's like a fucking What do you mean?

Google As far as Well YouTube is owned by Google I'm talking about a company Right okay I'm talking about a company You going into business with them

Yeah you can Where you're a podcaster You're free and independent Right And it's probably the only thing in the world Where you can be completely free and independent And still reach millions of people It really is the only thing in the world where you can be completely free and independent and still reach millions of people. It really is the only thing in the world.

But what does Google do? Well, what I'm saying, Google owns YouTube. Right. Right? And people like Dennis Prager, a religious right guy, his show gets shut down on YouTube. What do you mean it's shut down? It's shut down? He's suing.

He's suing fucking Google. I didn't know about this. Yeah. I know he does those shows with Carolla. With Carolla. I didn't know't know he's just i used to listen to him when i lived in la he's a conservative religious jewish guy i've listened to him a hundred times well they consider it hate speech i mean that's that's when we're getting to dangerous territory wait a minute i pull up uh what what happened to him because i'm i'm completely ignorant about this this is the first time i'm hearing about this oh this is going to go to the supreme court really i think so they pulled so they took his page down they said you

can't have a page on youtube anymore yeah they shut his show down do you remember what it was about not specifically but i know it was labeled hate and if you listen to this guy for 10 minutes he's the most congenial fair-minded uh you know but he's he's a you know uh religious guy do you know that shit doesn't fly do you know douglas marius he's actually uh her who is it he's a he's a uh an intellectual from england who uh wrote about uh wrote the a book about immigrants in europe called the strange death i think it's called islam and the strange death of europe and uh he's basically talking about how people from these countries that have emigrated into europe are changing the culture they're changing the culture and north africa there's all sorts of you know crimes and things that are happening that didn't exist before sure and people

are developing these communities of like-minded people that didn't exist before right no go zones and and he's saying that this is you know this is fundamentally dangerous but he's saying it from a point a perspective of understanding the actual facts involved and talking about the situation and talking about how these are people that don't respect homosexuals they want to throw them off roofs and they have these right opinions about yeah they have these opinions about people that are extremely antiquated and not aligned with european values in the modern western world right he and sam harris had a conversation and that conversation got flagged on youtube uh it got flagged because someone put it up in their their you know you make like a little watch list.

What is it called? What is it called? The list you could, where you put it on YouTube on your channel where you could, a playlist. Yeah. So he puts it on his playlist and he gets a community guideline strike against him for putting up this conversation between two intellectuals. So I have this conversation with this lady at YouTube. And I said, well, why would you do that? Why does that get, she goes, well, it's hate speech.

I go, it's hate speech? I go, you're talking about two intellectuals having a discussion about a real thing that's happening right now in Europe. And you're saying hate speech. If you listen to the podcast, there's no slurs used, just facts, they're just talking about. Well, same with Preg.

But this was the way she said it, because it's hate speech. I'm like, You said that so easily You've never seen this That's a lot of power It's also a lot of irresponsible power Or irresponsible use of power But my point is

They're cracking down on people who lean right Whether it's Twitter That's 100% true And that's a big fucking problem Hate speech. We're going to let Google decide. What's the name of the company that owns Alphabet? They're going to decide what.

I brought that up on Tough Crowd years ago. Wow. About when you disagree with a liberal or whatever you're arguing with. They always go, oh, you're a hater. They would keep saying that. And that's what it turned into if you just disagreed you're a hater now it's you're a bigot or a racist if you didn't agree with obama's policies you're a bigot or a racist and and that shit works that that's been working for the left for years but now that the social media google controls almost all the information the information you and I hear every day.

I mean, that's why it's so dangerous. So look up, yeah, Prague is the first example that comes to mind. That guy, excuse me, yeah, because he's, you know, a Christian or whatever. He's Jewish. Yeah, he's Jewish, but, you know. Looking it up it's it unless unless i'm what i just read was wrong they weren't deleted from youtube at least they weren't deleted they were restricted put it like meaning like they shut down the show that uh

the the adult thing like you have to have an account that says you're 18 or older or something like that and they were fighting and having a lawsuit against that saying that what they have in their videos are not shouldn't be behind that against that, saying that what they have in their videos shouldn't be behind that wall, whatever that is. They also then – But this is my point. You have to go to YouTube to get the story. Hold on a second. No, I'm on their website.

I went to a couple different websites to see it. But they were also – like yesterday, they had ads blacklisted from Spotify. So they had ads that were, I guess, initially approved, and now they have been disapproved, and they haven't really explained to them why. Dennis Prager's ads? Yeah, yeah. Well, he's suing. But his page is still up.

You know Carolla, don't you? Yeah. I believe so. Ask him about it. Yeah, I will. But the YouTube page is still up. His show's not up. His show is shut down.

I'll check that. They might have taken it down by now. This is kind of from a couple months ago. Yeah, they shut him down. So if you go to the Dennis Prager YouTube channel, it doesn't exist? I'm checking right now. So the idea that they would make that 18 plus because it's conservative, that's hilarious. No, this is up.

It's up. This is it, right? Okay, this is his channel, bro. PragerU. Yeah, that's his channel. Okay, but he's got a million subscribers. A million nine hundred and forty shut his show down i don't know they brought it back up is that what you're saying

maybe so that that they got a lawsuit they have a video up from an hour ago spotify bans prager from advertising okay then google prager lawsuit and that's what it was about it's about them being restricted yeah i am angry because we're not getting the full story here well i mean we're just finding out that it's up right now it's he's uh he's suing him yeah no i believe you so my point being is these big tech big tech companies are crushing conservative opinions for the most part right yes and here's a good way to look at it if you're going after a guy like dennis prager yeah who again is most congenial guy, never swears, very mild-mannered, very cool and calm, whether you agree with him or disagree with him. It's not the way to go about something like this if you disagree with someone is not to shut them down. No, it's to have a debate.

Exactly. Yeah, and that's not happening. Well, you know, you saw the Google memo. You saw what happened with that guy when he provided all this information about one of the reasons why women don't get into tech. And they labeled him as being a misogynist and a woman hater. Like, no, he's giving you scientific studies that show that women have different interests. Is that Lawrence Summers you're talking about? There's been a few since. Lawrence Summers was actually the president of Harvard, and he was giving a speech, and that's all he said.

He brought up the numbers as far as males going into science and math. He didn't say women aren't good at it, and he got fucking canned from Harvard. Yeah. Yeah, you can't have anything that's – That's fascism. Yeah. If it disagrees with the orthodoxy they'll come down on you even if it's factual like james demore and you could clearly back it up you could look at the the

actual numbers not only that that james demore guy put a page and a half in there on strategies for encouraging women to get into tech i mean if he was a real massage he was working for who demore google google yes he's the google memo guy right that was what started off because all these intellectuals came to his side. They go, look, why are we doing all this research if you guys completely ignore it every time it comes up? Right. You're pretending that this research is not valid. This research is, it's scientific information that shows that certain types of people are more interested in different things.

We've known that forever. That's why boy toys and girl toys are different because boys and girls like different things. We've known that forever. That's why boy toys and girl toys are different. Because boys and girls like different shit. I mean, it's basically a more complex version of that. And he's essentially saying women like different things. It doesn't mean that they can't do it. Joe, that's horrible to say. The only difference between the sexes is socially constructed obstacles.

Well, gender is a social construct. Yeah, gender itself. It is. They should come here and take a look at your place. That would shut them. Shut the argument. It's all male. Male gender.

I've got some female stuff here from when my kids come over. Tell them what you said to me when I said, what a fucking great place. Oh, this is what happens when women don't get to tell you what to do. You have a place. You have a warehouse of male. But, look, that's not – I'm a nice guy. That's not bad. Of course not.

The problem is, in this society, male energy, male thinking, male – and it is vilified. And you're taught to think there's something wrong with being masculine. Being masculine is the reason why we don't speak German. Okay? Stop. Exactly. Talk about toxic masculinity. You could – you would be the poster boy for that shit. with being masculine being masculine is the reason why we don't speak german okay stop uh exactly talk about toxic masculinity you could you'll be the poster boy for that shit well the whole reason why you need male people is because there's male people other places that will take away your shit and kill your people and exactly this is not a bad thing male does not equal evil just because

there are evil men They are evil men Of course It doesn't mean all men are evil There's evil women too It doesn't mean all women are evil I dated three of them I bet you dated more than three Let's be honest

Yeah No you're absolutely right Yeah But this toxic masculinity Is just fucking hilarious Like you said Really? World War II

How about that turned out Well there's just so many Dumb phrases like that You know Well they're like that, you know? Well, they're made up. Do you know about heteronormative? I'm sure I have. You know, cisgendered?

Cisgendered, yes. Heteronormative? Yeah. Yeah, like you're imposing the norms as if heterosexuality is normal. Well, did you see, what was the story a couple days ago? It was in Californiaifornia here a beautiful state of california they're trying to the he you can't say he or she it's they now what yeah where everywhere uh i'm saying her name is hannah something jackson he uh yeah now you have

to say they nope and they were passing it they had her in the the meeting uh the actual uh town hall or city wherever they're passing the ordinance and at the end she goes my my grandma my grammar teacher wouldn't approve of this she's rolling around but we won't hear from her she said her and somebody called her out on it as she was passing the bill i was just passing left wing nonsense you shouldn't say her about your grandmother she's not here to correct your gender identification. It's hilarious. Of course, she looked like Newt Gingrich.

There she is. California state senator bans the use of he and she during committee hearings. Oh, look at her with her perfect fucking liberal haircut. Newt Gingrich's haircut. Oh, my God. Some people are- Champ Howard's face. Some people are just hilarious.

But they called her out. She's trying to do a good thing. That is funny. And they had a laugh about thing. That is funny. And they call her out. They had a laugh about it. That is so funny. Who the fuck does she look like?

Oh, my God. We won't be hearing from her. Well, you made me laugh. Jax was then interrupted by listeners who corrected her usage and demand. Stop, stop. Go back. Oh, it's done. Sorry.

Corrected her usage and demand that she use the word they or them. They demanded. See, this is the problem with all this shit. Yes. It's demanding. They're trying to control people. They're telling people what to do and what not to do, and it's about power. A lot of this stuff is about power.

All of it is. They're imposing their worldview on you. But it's not even their worldview. It's not real. What it is is they're just deciding that this is a thing that they're going to agree to, and they're going to force other people to comply. It's half the game. Half the game is just getting people to comply.

Well, you do that by, and you start with language. You control people's behavior through language, which is the definition of political correctness. Well, that's what Carlin always said, that fascism is just political correctness with good manners. Or political correctness is fascism with good manners. Good manners. How about, you saw the clip of Louie at Governor's when he was talking about this, how the, you know, the millennials or whoever demanding what we call them. Yes, they are them.

And he goes, okay, Louie goes, okay, I'm a location. Yeah, it's your mother's country. Then he goes, I've got to come up with something more clever, not as harsh, whatever. I'm a location, your mother's cunt Then he goes I gotta come up with Something more clever Not as harsh Whatever I'm a location Your mother's cunt

Yeah What did you think About all that stuff Getting leaked About Louie's You know Stan Hope had a really Good point about that

What did Dougie say Dougie was saying Like look If this was a movie If you took that movie And filmed it in the movie theater And then put it online You'd, you'd go to jail. That's right.

You're a criminal. Right. You're stealing. Right. And you're ruining his work. Yes. But they think they can ruin his work because he jerked off in front of some people. I don't even know if it's that.

I don't even know if the person that leaked it, like, was a Louis hater. They seemed like a fan. They were laughing hard. Yes. It's like they had their phone on their table. I was at, it wasn't Governor's, it the brokerage which is the same owners a few years ago and i'm up there doing my shit and working on a new hour i looked down and the kid about 56th row i see him i see the red light yeah and he's got his head down so i come down off the stage he doesn't even hear me and i grab the phone out of his hand and fucking deleted i go dude you came out because you're a fan of mine right i go the problem i explained

it to him in the whole crowd the problem with this is if you put this shit online i'm working on news that's old material right you're burning my shit do you get it yeah to all the other fans that listen to it for sure and also it's not fair because these bits are never done like if you want to release it half baked like when when you first start working on a bit, you have a premise, you got kind of an idea where it's going. Of course. Yeah, and then it eventually becomes a bit that you would put on a special. Right.

Yeah. And they get it halfway or a quarter. Yeah. And it looks shitty, or if it's done, if you're doing a bit that's complete, it becomes old. Well, that was some of the things that people were saying about Louis. The material's sloppy. It's not like his old stuff. Yeah, of course.

He's working shit out. The old stuff you saw when it was done. Like, if you came to the store and saw him working on a set, like, a few years back, you would see the same kind of stuff. I got a couple comments like that when I put my last special out. They're like, well, he's doing the same stuff. Well, you came out to see me eight, ten months ago when I was working on it.

Yeah. It's something in process. They don't understand, though, because it seems like when you're on stage and you're killing it. It's coming off the top of your fucking head.

And it seems like you're doing something that they can do. You're just talking. Oh, I know. You're just talking. I can talk. There's no other art form like that

where it's just talking. That's exactly right. Nobody yells at a concert. Nobody, you know, I can play bass better than that jerk off. Yeah. You know what I mean? Some people probably do. People have, you know, because people have made their friends laugh.

I think Seinfeld saw that in a book years ago. Because, you know, you make your friends laugh. Everybody's made their friends laugh, whether you're a comic or not. And you're like, I can do this do i call people out when they look bored with me or they have their arms folded i go do it you got that smug look in your face i know you could do this too but you'd rather work at the fucking mattress factory 80 hours a week and making fucking 400 there's people out there working at the mattress factory right now listening to this going man fuck you yeah well fuck them whoa. How about you just ignore the guy that's

sitting looking weird? You make a mattress. How much could I pay you to make a mattress? I don't know. What am I getting at the Comedy Palace tonight in San Diego? I'd have to pay you a lot of money to build me a mattress. But you said it. They got that look on their face.

You'd have to pay for the foam And stitch it all together Get the fuck out of here You think making a mattress would be easy? Oh please I got foam laying all over the house Start with my wife's boobs Oh come on Joe

Where do you get this coffee? It's fucking delicious It's good right I think this is Black Rifle Black Rifle Coffee I don't like that name It's racist Oh it's not It's a gun metal it's a company of veterans it makes coffee it's good people yeah

veteran owned you but you spoke like fuck yeah matt flag veteran owned too good veteran owned company i got a flag they sent me uh when i did the afghanistan uso thing guys sent me a flag that they used in battle. Nice. You have it folded up and- I had it hanging, but then I made a gym out of my fucking whatever, so I don't know where it is. Well, you should probably find it. I should probably put it back up, shouldn't I? Yeah.

Sorry I brought that up. Don't worry about it. The Louis C.K. set was very similar, in my opinion, to all the shit that he did before he got in trouble. Absolutely. Very similar. Very similar. did before he got in trouble. Absolutely. Very similar. Absolutely. Same kind of material, same way he does things. I mean, people forget that this is a guy who went on Saturday Night Live

and did a joke about pedophiles and about, you know, maybe we should let them get away with it so they don't kill your kids. I mean, it's fucked up. It's a fucked up bit. But he was the darling of the left back then, and so he was allowed to get away with that. Yes. If he tried to do that same material, if he hadn't done that then and instead did that now, people would be fucking horrified. What is it, Joe, about offending women or today's feminists?

They are, in my opinion, all this political correctness that we hate so much, shutting down, they are at the in my opinion all this political correctness that we hate so much shutting down they are at the core of it well people the the i say this the the zeitgeist of the times is like a fat chick's emotion wow very sensitive uh you can't you can't cross them well it's also because people are realizing now that they can make an impact like one of the things that i read because he's doing this thing in Pittsburgh He was doing the improv in Pittsburgh And this lady who wrote the article Wrote that he's making people put their cell phones in bags

Much like comedians Dave Chappelle And Joe Rogan do She used my name too I've done it before but I only did it when I was filming my Netflix special So I didn't want people putting the material out Right before I was releasing the special And then afterwards I decided it was too much of a pain in the ass But the only reason my Netflix special. So I didn't want people putting the material out right before I was releasing the special. And then afterwards I decided it was too much

of a pain in the ass. But the only reason why I was doing it, it had nothing to do with, she said because they know words can offend and they don't want the consequences.

Well, I'm going to put it on Netflix. Anyways, it's going to be out to the public. It's offensive. If you're looking to get offended, go watch my Netflix special.

There's plenty in there for you. But i need to be able to do it correctly like i'm i want to work it out so that it has the maximum amount of laughs with the minimum amount of of people getting it the wrong way right so this it's all about wording and setting it up right and listening to it and going maybe there's a better way and you can't do that if somebody releases your shit so these people that don't know comedy and they're saying this like you have no idea what the process is like you just don't and if you if you do you would respect it and appreciate it right and the people that are comics that don't respect and appreciate the process like that's where we are now them but it's just because people can make an impact they can have a reaction.

Just like the people yelling at her. She said, oh, my grandmother would be rolling over in her grave. Up, up, up. Say they and them. Say they and them. They're just trying to get a reaction from you. They're just trying to push buttons. They're just knowing that they can say something and they can have some sort of an impact.

We're going to get Louis louis ck banned from here you know we're gonna get nick topalo kicked out of this club you can't come to this club you talk negatively about women and women's empowerment and that's dangerous to girls i only get kicked out of one place and of course one of the best clubs in the country what club denver comedy works oh you got kicked out of the comedy works like 20 something years ago for what well it was a bachelorette party ruining the middle guy's set the mc set and then i went up my second time there i think that's a great club obviously and they started yelling shit out like take off your shirt your dick and i said can we throw these fat cunts out and it turns out a fat cunt was running the club so i was uh kicked out of it son of a bitch hey well that's how i feel joe well i was thrown out because of my words well and i get kicked out

for smoking on stage and rooster t feathers those the only two places yeah i think that was a long time ago though right smoking on stage oh yeah last time you smoked on stage? Oh, a couple weeks ago. Oh, the fat black pussy cat. Do you smoke still? Well, you say still. I just really started. I was, 15, 20 years ago, I was a social smoker, because everybody, the comedy seller, I'd be sitting across from Mattel, breathing in his shit, and I'm like, I might as well put a filter in my mouth.

And so, you know, I'd have one one or two but then i really picked up the pace about a year ago what the fuck is that it keeps the pounds off what joe it's no more dangerous than steroids it's not i don't know i just know i like it but uh but uh oh i do really i do yeah what kind of smoke marlboro Yeah. Oh, it's gentle. They're lights. Well, I'll take it. Cancer light. You get a light tumor.

Yeah, you get a... How many are you smoking a day? Half a pack. Really? Dude, you're too smart for that. That's outrageous. Oh, Joe, please. You are.

You can't kill me. It can't? Nah. Wow. My grandfather smoked Paul Malls, Unfelted, and Camels. So you think it's like A genetic thing Yeah you can't kill The depo

No it's Look it's You're 56 Yeah I do it my act Because my friends go Why would you start At this age

And I go Why would you start In your 20s So you could have Ass cancer in your 40s I'm timing it out I see If a doctor tells me I have cancer in 25 years,

I'm going to kiss him on the lips. You see the looks on guys in their 80s? They look happy. They're like, I wish I smoked when I was a fucking kid. I knew you would have disapproved. Sad. Sad for you. Why don't you just chew?

I did that in college. Get your jaw removed. Yeah, no. I'd rather go. I'm very vain. I don't want to be that lady that looks your jaw removed. Yeah, no. I'd rather go. Those guys get the full jaw cancer. I'm very vain. I don't want to be that lady that looks like Popeye. I don't want to be that broad.

She was so cute when she was young. You ever see one? Yes. And then she turned into Popeye with the voice and everything. But I'll kick it. You promise? Yeah. Eventually.

You stop juicing. I'm not juicing. I take testosterone replacement therapy. Why do you? From a doctor. You don't need it. That'sicing I take testosterone replacement therapy Why do you? From a doctor You don't need it That's how I You say I don't need it

That's why I don't need it Because I do it If I didn't do it I would look like a regular 51 year old man Excuse me Trust me If I get you on it Go to a doctor

To get your hormone levels checked I'll do it tomorrow And I'll quit the cigarettes Your body just works better I'll quit the cigarettes Okay Promise just works better I'll quit the cigarettes Okay, promise? Yeah I don't need it

I mean, I just drive my shoulders Playing football Yeah I have aches and pains But, you know I'm 5'9", 3 quarters, 213 That's not too bad That's not bad

But you're a thick dude You're thick Well, it's muscle You always get that Italian thickness Well, that's how I work out. Density, bro. I got those shoulders. I love the density.

But this is the biggest I've ever seen you. I've been working out a lot. Plus, I haven't been running because I had some stem cells shot into my knee. Oh, really? Yeah, I've had some meniscus issues. And I'm a fucking idiot. I can't let them sit. I've got stem cells before

And it felt good And then I run You know miles in the hills Every day a week later After the shots You can still do that I can't do that Yeah

My knees I have slight arthritis In both knees Yeah Well stem cells help that Definitely does There's a bunch of different things You can do

To help that Before it gets real bad. But one of the things they're doing in Panama, I sent my mom down there to Dr. Neil Reardon. He's very good. Yeah. Do you know who he is? No. No, no, no.

I had him on a show with Mel Gibson. And Mel Gibson's dad was 92 when he went down there. He was in a wheelchair. He was all fucked up. Eight years later, he's 100 years old. He's fine. He's 100? He's 100.

Eight years old. That's what happens when you're 92 and you live eight more years. Thanks for doing the math. No, that's what happens when you yell shit out. You can say racist shit. You get it off your chest.

You live to your 100th. Well, it's only the booze that makes him racist. I know. So what? Fucking guy's my hero. Fucking love Mel Gibson. Has he ever made a bad movie?

I mean, made it himself. He's been in maybe a couple. He's been in a few shit movies. That's a toxic masculinity right there. I liked Apocalypto. That was awesome. I thought that was great. A lot of people shit on that movie.

That was right up your alley. Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, exactly. I'm fascinated with that culture. I thought you co-produced it when I watched it. I wish I was a part. No, I loved it. Yeah, exactly. I'm fascinated with that culture. I thought you co-produced it when I watched it. I wish I was a part. No, I loved that movie. I think he's a very intense, very unusual, eccentric guy.

Just being around him, you get this sense of his energy. It's like, it's all over the place. Even now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Lethal Weapon. Yeah, I don't have that. Like a lot of that I think probably came like that character

probably came from like the dark inner workings of Mel Gibson's mind. You know who he really is. You're like that too though, aren't you? I don't have that energy. Remember Trump kept calling

Jeb Bush low energy? Yeah. I was laying on the couch going that's fucking me he's talking about. I'm laying on the couch and I hear about somebody dying in an avalanche. And I watch shit on TV and I laugh because I would never fucking be dropped off in a helicopter at the top of a mountain.

To go snowboarding. Yeah. And then they die. I'm laughing my balls off. I'm eating a bag of chips. Well, the one person he's never called anybody anything is Nancy Pelosi. And people are like, why hasn't he come up with a nickname for her yet? Yeah.

You know? Well, because you can't say cunt. That's going him the election that'll cost him in 2020 craig fitzsimmons had a joke about that he's like it's countdown until trump calls hillary a cunt that thick-ankled dog face that's what i call hillary i don't even call her uh what what kind of a nickname if you were going to help him like if he hired you Like Nick Pelosi I need a solid Republican comic

To help me with my one liners What do you think? Well I call her On my show I refer her to the The leathery Nippled That's too wordy

I think she was pretty good looking When she was back in her day Like Lion Ted Okay Yeah Fucking naughty Nancy What did he call hillary crooked hillary crooked hillary lion ted how about uh energy jeb how about uh yeast infection no in heels

how about lying liberal fuck stick do you know that she's worth $100 million? Yes, I do. But she represents the little people, Joe. She represents the working class. You know, she has fucking walls around her mansion. Meanwhile, people are laying their own feces in San Francisco. Well, that Laura Loomer chick, the chick that handcuffed herself to Twitter, she hopped

Nancy's fence and started setting up a migrant camp on Nancy's lawn. Did you see that? What happened? They kicked her out. What was the result? Illegal. She's doing something illegal. She's trespassing. I would say to Nancy, I'd be outside the house going, this fence is immoral. Right. Build that wall. Or don't.

I always think, the wall's stupid when we have machine guns and tanks. And flamethrowers. I was like, I took them. You don't have to kill. I always think the wall's stupid when we have machine guns and tanks. And flamethrowers. Like, I took them. You don't have to kill. I'm serious about this. You're going to laugh. Okay.

Because you don't have to. But seriously, I love how we rule out lethal force as far as protecting our border. That's not even on the plate. So, okay, it's too medieval to pick somebody off as they're climbing the fence. But, okay, use something less lethal. A super soaker filled with cat piss. With a woman and her baby trying to come over here for a while. Yes, that's who's coming over.

It's not fucking mostly 20-year-old males. No, leave the women and children, whatever. Just push them off the wall. What do you do with them? Send them back to where the fuck they came from. You have no sympathy for those folks that are trying to come over here? The ones that are- We're immigrant children.

Yes, absolutely. I mean, when did your parents come over? My grandparents. Grandparents, mine as well. At the turn of the century, like 1902, 1903. Yep. They should have stayed in Italy. You think?

People should have stayed in Poland. The Irish should have stayed in Italy. You think? People should have stayed in Poland. The Irish should have stayed in Ireland. We would have known Nick DiPaolo. It would be great. You can't do comedy over there. That's not working, Joe. You've got to admit. What the fuck is wrong with you, Nick?

Have you watched these viral videos? It's not working. I know you're joking around. I kind of. You seem a little bit more dour. Oh, no. I'm very dour. Previous conversations we've had.

I was faking it, Joe. I was faking it joe i was faking it trump came along and i said i can say this get this off my chest the light and cheeriness remember my bit i had a great bit about immigration how it was like having a big party but you had to contribute to the party remember the bit it's one of my albums the irish brought the booze the italians brought the food. The Italians brought the food. Oh, okay. Now I do remember that. Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Mexicans said, fuck it, we'll clean up afterwards.

You know. Psss. Yeah, psss. People loved it. And, but, no, I look, I defend Latinos all the time on my show. They're like Italians. We're at the turn of the century. Yes.

Hard working. And when you watch the news and you see a lot of people dying you know fighting for us a lot of latino names in there oh for sure i'm a big fan that's not the problem you know so but i don't think you should be labeled a bigot if you believe in you know securing the borders and it's not immoral how about all the heroin coming over is that a lie too i mean you know how they're bringing that over there did you pay attention to the Chapo trial? They're bringing it mostly in cargo ships. Most of it's coming over in cargo ships.

Yeah. Remember from the Sopranos? They said an 8 out of 10 cargo ships never get checked. Yes. Yes, I remember that. Apparently that's true. I was talking to a guy who was a longshoreman about that. He's like, they don't know what the fuck's in those things.

I know. Isn't that creepy? One of them's going to blow up. That's the fucking... Shh. Don't give them any ideas. They already have these ideas. They called me is gonna blow up that's the fucking you put don't give them any ideas they already have these ideas they call me up and said that's not a bad idea how did you get punched who why did that lady punch you it was a 20 year old uh bipolar girl i was at levity live i did a show came off stage went into the green room for a few minutes and then came back out and i was standing to the left of the stage.

And I don't always shake hands and do all that shit after the show. I just don't feel it's in the job description. Sometimes I'll do it, sometimes I won't. But some people started coming up to me and shaking hands and taking pictures. And this guy approaches me, sort of look like you a little bit, stands to my right. And he goes, can I get a picture? And I go, little bit uh stands to my right and he goes can i get a picture that goes sure stand to my right i'm looking at him talking to him he's like yeah i enjoyed the show but my daughter wanted to punch you in the face he didn't even finish the word face and i get suckered from this i didn't even know she was in the fucking room all of a sudden bam whoa and i mean bam i

mean fucking you know i was i don't know if you ever get fucking suckered uh i could feel the eye closing immediately you know and i looked right at him this is how good my instincts were even when i was in shock i go did you just fucking set me up no it's nothing like that man he didn't jump in and he didn't jump in and and go to his daughter what are you doing you know it was kinder i this day, believe it was complicit. He was complicit in it. But I'm still pursuing it. What did she do?

I finally looked at her. I go, why'd you fucking, why'd you do that? Because you're mean. She thought I was racist and sexist. Meanwhile, there was a table of black people, Dominican. It was a very diverse crowd. Absolutely loved it. Come into my defense after that

happened. Nobody got offended. Even a friend of mine who's seen me a million times, because you weren't even being that political that night. She had Birkenstocks on and, you know, bipolar. And I'm still pursuing it. And the guy didn't apologize? Nothing? He didn't apologize, but I said,

you just fucking said, no, I didn't, man. It's nothing like that, you know. He said, no, I didn't, man. It's nothing like that. He said, I shouldn't have brought her here. But you did. You weaponized your bipolar daughter is what you did. I believe they sat down at the table before they left the house. He knows what I did for comedy. He didn't have the balls to do it himself.

You think? Yeah. That's what I think. Look at you. You worked up. I'm going to work for those kettlebells before I leave here. I'm going to find this motherfucker. I'm going to get you on a bike and get you to burn off some energy.

Jesus Christ. It might be that Black Rifle coffee. I love this shit. Veteran-owned coffee. It's very potent. I want to contribute to anything veterans do. I got some bags for you. I'll get you some.

It's great stuff. But yeah, so the fucking high- You had the funniest- This is what's funny about it. For years, people tell me to keep your temper in check. Ba-ba-ba. You'll fuck up your career. You don't.

Ba-ba-ba. I've been hearing that for years. After this happened, they're all going, why didn't you hit her back? Why didn't you... You texted me the next day or that night. I can't remember. And you said...

You go... This made me laugh for five minutes. You go, Joe goes... I thought Joe was going to go, good thing you didn't hit her back. Joe goes, I would have fucking leg whipped her. Which made me laugh for five minutes. You go, Joe goes, I thought Joe was going to go. Good thing you didn't hit her back. Joe goes, I would have fucking leg whipped her, which made me laugh so hard because she's this frail thing. And if you leg whipped her, you would have taken her legs clear off like a helicopter

blade. I was belly laughing for five. You leg whipping this. Leg kicker. Yeah. I don't think I would have said whip. I thought you said, okay, excuse me. Well, you got to.

You can't let someone punch you. The real problem is like someone can really damage. Yeah. I saw you in the parking lot. Really someone punch you. The real problem is, like, someone can really damage... Yeah. I saw you in the parking lot. Really hurt your eye. That clip of you in the parking... I have a permanent dent in my face. Yeah.

You can see it. I have a permanent dent. I don't know if she had a ring on. Really? There's a little dent there. Yeah. She probably had a ring on. Yeah.

Someone could hit you in the eye and you would lose. I never went down, Joe. Good for you. That would have been embarrassing. You could lose your vision. I mean, that's 100% possible. Happens to people all the time. I had a slight concussion.

She really fucking caught me flying. I'm not shocked, especially if you didn't know it was coming. What would you have done? I don't know. I hope I wouldn't have done what I think I would have done. I know, because you could lose a lot of, I know you get insurance for that.

The real problem is when you're not thinking, when you get hit and then you immediately respond. That's a real problem. Because, look, you've seen that video of that giant 6'5 guy who punched that 11-year-old girl in the face. Yes. She had it coming. Well, she definitely shouldn't have walked up to him with her fist up. And she definitely shouldn't have pushed him first.

But he definitely shouldn't have punched her in the face. This big, giant fucking guy. I know. Yeah. With a nice shot. You don't want to punch a girl. You don't want to punch a girl. You don't want to hit a girl. And I didn't.

You don't want to go into that reptilian part of your brain either that just responds to being assaulted. Oh, that was killed. That's very dangerous. I saw you. Remember that clip years ago? You in the parking lot at the comedy store arguing with some bride. Oh, that feminist lady. She was just mean.

I thought you were going to... Well, they're all... I was trying to be nice to her. They're the meanest people on the earth. I was nice to that lady for a long time until she's finally telling me she's going to hit me with her cigarette. I'm like, listen,

you're not doing anything. I know. I was watching her go, what's going to happen next? They're just so stupid that people think they can get away with things like that. Well, they can, apparently.

If you were alone in a parking lot with that girl, and she punched you in the face like that. What if I even fucking croaked her there? What if I hit? I said this, and I've been making this point. You want true gender equality. Yeah. If we had it, I could have fucking knocked her the fuck out. Yeah.

And everybody went, you know what? She had it coming. Yes. And we all went home. Well, there would have been. But that's not the world we're living in right now, Joe. You showed amazing restraint in not hitting her back. Because I wasn't drinking.

And what if you were drinking? I would have probably wrestled her. At least cuffed her? Yeah. I've been in two fights. Like an open-hand bear slap? Yeah. I would have gave her.

From behind, though, a dirty one. Oh, a dirty one. Yeah. I would have came from here. You ever see that video? There's a kid uh a black kid walking down the street and some black neighbor and he's rapping or some shit and this black kid walks up from behind like in a wife beater and winds up from his asshole with an open hand it would blow

your ears out if you had the headphones but i uh i was proud of myself and that's why i was laughing after the incident of people i know who've been telling me, you know, cool it or whatever, you should keep it. They were all like, yeah, shut up, fucking body slammer. My aunt's like, you should have fucked her up. I was so proud of myself for once that I was, you know, I was the adult in the room. And I, you know, I know in the times we're living in, it wouldn't matter the circumstance. Toxic masculinity, if I croaked her. Well, I don't know, man.

If somebody punches you and you punch them back, I don't know what the fucking rules are about that. Oh, I do. I mean, she's obviously very small. That would have been a real problem because she's small. But you shouldn't be fucking hitting people. Now, you said you were working on it, like you're still in the middle of it like what's going on with it uh yes i uh i'm pursuing it and they it's just so you can tell they don't give a fuck the the da was a woman in that county and now she's off the case for some reason they shuffled the um but they went

they you know it should be assault or aggravated assault, but of course you can't go because if you don't get that, I can't sue her civilly. If I lost that, it would hurt my case. At least that's the logic they were telling me. So they're trying to get her with like second-degree harassment, and now there's a new woman on the case, and she said they're making her go to anger management because she has mental issues. And I'm not looking for money.

I just want to make an example of her. So, but why not pursue it as assault? It's clearly assault. I know. Well, you tell me. So, is your lawyer's decision to not pursue it that way? No. First of all, nobody wanted to take the case because I'm fine.

Really? Yeah. They're like, your sight's not fucked up. You're not in a wheelchair. But yeah, I give lawyers credit for that much. They're honest. It's all about the money. But that's crazy.

But I found a guy, this guy Andrew Funk, who's a lawyer, who was a Marine. And I said, he contacted me, and he put me in touch first with a Russian woman who took about three of my calls, and she got tired because there was no money involved. And he hooked me up with another guy, another lawyer who right now I'm dealing with. But, yeah, they were all right up front that if there's no money involved and you're not permanently, you're not going to, you know. But I don't want money. And this guy sort of agreed with me. This Andrew Funk guy is a Marine. He just wants to make an example right she said i was racist and sexist you know uh so i just want to make an example i'm not looking for money but it's her

father that really pisses me off she's nuts how old is this broad's nuts like 2021 goes to school in upstate new york so she's not that nuts. She lives on her own. But it's the fucking old man that was complicit in it. I think he actually used her as like a weapon that night. It seems like it would be way harder to prove that he was complicit than it would be to prove that she punched you.

No, I agree. Did she apologize ever? Never. She ran up into the lobby, which is normally where you take pictures with fans and she she she put her head on the table was crying after she realized what she'd done or whatever you know they took her like a psychiatric hospital so they're saying well you know you know so i i just want to make an example of her that's all i i don't i'm not

looking for but but uh you know That's ridiculous And the next time I will hit back You think? Yeah Don't No? No Wait a minute Joe

You're confusing me now It's too little Well give me a kick That would just Like hurt her ovaries What? Ovaries All three of them

Go for a knee Go for A knee Knee to the pussy It'd be how you damage I don't want to lose my knee. I just would say don't hit her. I'm not going to hit her. I wasn't raised

that way. Even in the future, if somebody does that. No, I'm not. I would never. Stabbing or gunning. You prove it because you haven't done it. You didn't do it. You had the ultimate opportunity. Somebody actually hit you and you didn't hit them back. It's one of my proudest moments. Yeah, you should be proud of that. I've been in.

Amazing restraint. Do you ever get into it with a fan or somebody in the audience? No. I've been in twice. One time at the comic store, a guy threw a drink at me. Holy shit. Yeah. And how did you restrain yourself?

I don't remember. I essentially invited him to get killed. How'd you do that? I said, come on. Come on up here. Come on up here. I'll show you what's up. Who would fucking throw a drink at you?

Some asshole. It was him and his dad. They were heckling everybody before the show. Before I got on stage, rather. They were heckling everybody. This was a long time ago. It was probably 2003, 2004. But he knows who you are and he knows you're...

Yeah, he's just a pussy. He just threw it my way He wanted to get famous Well he didn't even want to get famous There was no social media back then Not to speak of People weren't getting famous or things like that He's just a drunk asshole who was interrupting comedy

And the comedy store back then Had zero protection There was no crowd room No crowd control at all. But, yeah, it's a fucking issue with people. They're drinking. Right? And especially if you get crazy people that are drinking, weird stuff

can happen. It's unfortunate. Yeah. It's just you know, people that don't have respect for performers, too. They don't have respect for what you're doing, that it's difficult. And if they disagree with you, they think're disagreeing even if if it's just a joke you didn't even know where the joke is going they'll interrupt and they'll yell stuff out and they've just no no regard for the forum that you're in the fact there's hundreds of other

people that are there to see you it's about their mind and their selfish notion that they want to get out right away and they and they have no idea how little it takes to throw off the balance of the room. Oh, yeah. Just a slight confrontation. Just telling somebody to shut up, and all of a sudden, like, you're the bad guy. And a lot of times, it's somebody right up front, so they can't hear. Yeah. You know?

And then it looks like you're just scolding somebody for no reason. Yeah. I've had that, too. And I'm super sensitive. Somebody farts in the 52nd row, I can hear it or whatever. I am. I just have that, you know. Yeah.

Well, you know. I've learned. You tune into the crowd. You know, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, because you do. You study what's going on.

You read their faces and whatnot. And I'm really good at it. And fucking, if I see one person laughing out of 600, I'm not laughing. Yeah, you've always been like that. No, but I fixed it. I fixed it years ago. Well, after about 12 clubs, I said, listen, you've got to stop doing it. But you know what?

I am so much better. And not hitting her proved it. Now I had a brawl breakout that had nothing to do with me at gotham a couple years ago what was it about two tables were fighting amongst each other oh i heard about it was hilarious talk about hitting a girl i just stood on the stage i love it i felt like lenny bruce so your comics have a lot of punk in us you know i did but i didn't start this the fucking brawl breaks out i'm watching it two tables girls and guys involved there's a girl in the middle with her fists up like she took three fucking taibo classes she's and she takes a swing and hits one of the bounces i watch this other

bouncer come across the room and drop her like a fucking used rubber i mean hit her like she was a guy really oh my god i don't know how this guy didn't do jail time but these broads this is what Like a fucking used rubber. I mean, hit her like she was a guy. Really? Oh my God. I don't know how this guy didn't do jail time. But these broads, this is what this feminist movement has taken them. Now they jump in. Every time you see a fight at a football game, the stands is women involved and shit. They really fucking think, I'm sorry, but legislation, you can't fucking legislate the DNA out of us.

And they're always in the middle of it. You notice that? A lot of fucking broads think they're always in the middle of it you notice that a lot of fucking broads think they can do good out now well there are a bunch right have a delusion but yeah yeah they've seen too many wonder woman movies well exactly they've been brainwashed well there's a lot of people in general that think they could go around punching people like how about all these uh antifa dorks that are uh at least show your face well they're not like that they're starting fights with people and they have zero idea how to fight. They're swinging at people.

Did you see the one guy? A guy swings at this guy with a bat or with a baton. The guy catches the baton and punches him in the face and KOs him, and his head snaps back, and his head bounces off the concrete when he falls down. It's awful to watch. What the fuck made you think you could just hit a man with a stick because you guys disagree with each other?

Yeah. And you're right. When they interview him after, a lot of times they, not even after a fight, but they interview somebody who's Antifa, they sound almost swishy, some of them.

Swishy, like homosexual? Is that what you're saying? No, I wouldn't go that far. Feminine. Oh, feminine. Well, they want to become a... Look, Antifa is just like any other group of people.

They give you a community, whether it's a gang or whether it's a criminal organization or whatever it is. People fall in line with the sensibilities of that organization and then you do what you can to support that organization to show that you're a valued member. to support that organization to show that you're a valued member and then you know you start wearing their fucking ski masks and hitting people with sticks and everybody's practicing karate in the park because they think they're going to be able to defend themselves the whole thing is ridiculous but because their life has no value outside of that well isn't it weird to you that look my parents were hippies and when i grew up i always thought that people on the left were peace-loving that was what the the the knock was they were peace-loving. That was what the knock was. They were peace-loving, well-educated.

But you're seeing now people on the left, like these certain factions of them, not all of them, but people that are calling for violence. They're violent pacifists, ironically. Yes. Well, they don't want to do it themselves, but they're calling for other people to do it. Yeah. Right. They're calling for people to get punched. Like that kid with the MAGA hat

Like Reza Aslan Ron Have you ever seen a more punchable face? Yeah What the fuck are you saying man? You know it's like There's extreme lack of empathy for young people too Like young people that That don't fall in line with their ideas

They don't give a fuck Right Fuck that kid Punch him Throw him in jail Lock him up It's just like There's a lack of empathy And a lack of thought behind it.

It's very- And social media is only throwing gas on that. Yes. And then you got these Russian accounts that are firing this up on both sides, that are attacking from the left and the right. I think that's a way bigger issue than people think. I think these troll farms and these people that are setting up these fake accounts and just getting people riled up maybe i think there's a lot of fucking lemmings

out there and a lot of people just christia they fall into these arguments like how many people do you know they get involved in twitter arguments and then they they stew with those arguments all day they keep checking their mentions they get heavily involved with that if someone can get you involved in that like if the russians can get a group of dummies involved in that kind of dispute, they could literally change the way people are interacting with each other. They're making the interactions more aggressive, more violent. So you think it's the Russians? I think it has something to do with it.

I think there's a polarization between the left and the right, period. But I think they are definitely accentuating it. They're throwing gas on it. Yeah, this thing that I was reading, or listening to, rather, this Sam Harris podcast, very fucking interesting. Because they're talking about what we actually know about the data and where it's coming from and how these people are doing this and how they're setting these things up. and how they're setting these things up. Yeah, that guy, the comic that you and I talked about, again, that clip of this Russian who was a former KGB guy who defected to this country, explaining how it works.

Back in the 80s. Explaining exactly how it works. And what he was saying, this is 30-something years ago, 35 years ago, is going down exactly the way he explained it. And Putin is a KGB guy. Oh, Christ, yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's... This idea that Trump's working with him is fucking silly.

Well, I don't know about that. I don't think he's working with him to undermine democracy, but I definitely think they've got some business dealings. I mean, they were offering him the Trump... Well, yes, but that's not illegal. The penthouse and Trump power... That's not illegal. None of that is illegal.

Don't take that from me. Take that from Alan Dershowitz. I don't... He's smarter than both of us. I'm not saying it's illegal, but I don't take that for me take that from alan dershowitz i don't smarter than both of us i'm not saying it's illegal but i don't think that he was honest about that he said i don't do any dealings with russia i don't have any business with russia and he definitely did that's just not true well we'll see we'll see that's what the targeting they're not gonna get him for anything you don't think so you think he's gonna just well maybe impeachment but i don't even on on what case I don't even know what they get him.

High crimes and misdemeanors. I don't know what he's done. To talk about building a tower in Moscow is not illegal. Or to have business. And what did he lie about specifically? Well, there's a lot. Like what? We could pull it up.

Let's find out all the things that John Lysa... Well, what are you going to go to? Salon.com? No, you can go to a million different websites. Well, I know, but which ones are telling the good independent website? We just established that the fucking social media tilts left, so. Yes, social media does. We're not talking about pulling up social media pages.

What are you pulling up? I don't know. Washington Post? I'm not a Trump scholar. I don't have at my disposal all the different times that he lied, but it's a lot. So what do you think is going to happen to him? You think they'll impeach him, you mean? No.

Or he'll resign or what? I don't know. Look, I'm not claiming to be any sort of an expert in legal proceedings. I have no idea. Me either. That's why I quoted Dershowitz. Yeah. I think, well, isn't Dershowitz working with Trump?

No. Giuliani is. Oh, that's right. Dershowitz is the- Another old dumb joke. I always go to Dershowitz because he's a fucking lib trump averaged 15 inaccuracies and mistruths a day in 2018 almost triple the rate from a year before okay but hold on a second what's the inaccuracies and mistruths it's a european paper

yeah but isn't that a little odd 15 a day no because i don't know who's making that claim i don't know the exact 15 inaccuracies. You doubt that it's true? You think it's all a lie? That it just made up the fact that he lies a lot? Lies about what? First of all, it's a definition of a lie. I don't know. Let's see. It says Washington Post, who they hate. Who hates

Trump. Jeff Bezos. Yeah. Who absolutely hates Trump. The president made 1,989 such claims in 2018. By the last day of 2018. Yeah, you're going to the Washington Post. That's my point. But let's see what it says. I mean, they can't lie.

The total figure of vision to 7,600. So you think they just made up all these lies? Of course. Not all of them, I'm sure. But you could go back with Hillary and fucking count. You could go to Fox News and then pull up an article of how many times Hillary was inaccurate. Do you know what a whataboutism is? A whataboutism?

Yeah, when someone talks about something and instead of refuting it with facts, they go, yeah, well, what about Hillary? What about Bill? Bill did it too. What about this? What about that? Are you going to tell me? That's a whataboutism.

That's what I just committed? That was a whataboutism. Because you were saying that Hillary lied. We both agree. But you're making my point. You're going to the Washington Post. Okay, that's just Jamie pulled up the Independent. We could go anywhere.

But hold on a second. Look, I'm with you. I think Hillary's a liar. I think she deleted 30,000 emails. I think it's criminal. I think the Clinton Foundation's a fucking fully illegal organization. I think they rigged the DNC. I think they rigged the primaries against Bernie.

I'm with you. I'm not a supporter. No, I'm not saying you are, but when's the last time somebody made a statement like that? And said this many inaccuracies when Bill Clinton was in office? I don't think he lied as much. Or Hillary, or whatever. I'm sure there were some inaccuracies. But first of all, when Bill Clinton was in office, they weren't-

Did they count Obama's? I don't know, but that's a whataboutism. You know what I'm saying? We're just talking about Trump trump you were saying that trump doesn't lie and they're saying he lies i'm not saying he doesn't lie first of all you said what does he lie no first of all you know i like to know the definition of a lie if he misstates something do you think he does it right i'm sure sometimes when you're talking that much. Okay, so if he lies 1,900 times in a day. Give me an example of a blatant lie. Yeah, that's fucking, it's Washington Post.

It's horseshit. I don't know. I do. You think it's all lies. Not all of it. No, he's a bullshitter for sure. Yes. But to take, Joe, would you argue that they haven't been trying to take him down since he came down that fucking escalator?

How about the deep state? How about the fucking dossier? Why is anybody not being- Wait, wait, wait. What does that mean? The dossier. What dossier? The fake dossier, Christopher Steele, that they used to get the Pfizer application.

Explain to people what you're talking about. I just did. They know what I'm talking about. No, no, no, no. They don't. They don't because I don't know. What do you mean? The dossier.

The fake dossier. Remember they said- Do you know what he's talking about they had yes they had you have to know this so you're being willfully ignorant no i don't know nick nick i don't know okay i'm i'm explaining hold on a second do you know i've heard these are terms i've heard yes and but you don't know the full extent yeah well this is what i'm talking about this is as big a story as anything trump has done what is the story the steel dossier that uh hillary used they went to you had to get a application from the pfizer courts and they went they used uh dnc opposition christopher steel who's a british guy had connections in russia remember when they said trump was at a hotel and watching girls peeing on each other? Yes. That was all in the Steele dossier.

Christopher Steele is his name. They used that in their application to get a FISA warrant to spy on Trump during his campaign. That's fact. That's not me being a right-winger. That is fact. Okay.

But the fact that you don't know that. No, I remember that now. oh that that's what i'm talking about but you that's the biggest story as trump you know lying about the number of people at his inauguration i want to know the i want to know a lie from trump that's uh equal uh equal in power as like when obama said you know lied about health care that you could keep your health care and all that give me an example of Trump with that big of a lie. Well, listen, I told you. He does lie.

I'm not saying he doesn't. All presidents lie. All politicians lie. I'm just saying they start to count it when Trump took over. They started keeping, you know, keeping statistics. Well, because it's so egregious. Well, like what? Give me an example.

Like, look, we just showed you all the numbers of the Washington Post provider. From the Washington Post. So if i give you another example you're going to say oh that's from this or that's from that if you go to salon.com salon.com all right we'll go to i don't know what you've gotten more done than any other administration okay this is a lie so true blah blah blah see now so if somebody says that's a lie let's see what it's that jamie go back to it what are you doing but who's saying that's a lie. Well, let's see what it says. Jamie, go back to it. What are you doing? But who's saying that's a lie? Well, let's see.

Let's see. Let's see what it says. Jesus Christ, you're so defensive. It's like, do you work for the organization? No, I don't. But you're putting... I'm saying what it's... You're using the Washington Post. No, this isn't the Washington Post.

Well, what is it? This is NBC. Oh, the NBC. Okay, NBC. Okay, so everything is that. Look, man, I'm just reading what's in front of me I know and I'm just you're so emotional about this

it's ridiculous I have four cups of coffee in me show we should have had two huh oh please you know I'm right I don't know you're right

that's what we're talking about are you going to tell me you don't know that the mainstream media hates Trump they do are you going to I do I agree

why would you put your fucking because I want to know whether or not they are saying what is stop doing that, Jamie. Go back to where it was.

You can't go... Trump later said that he intended the UN moment to garner a laugh that has repeated this claim seriously since. Okay, so he says that... Which part was it? My administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of the country. So this is just... That's an exaggeration. This falls into him being a bullshitter.

That's hyperbole. Right. And people were laughing when he said that. And so he was saying that he meant to say it as a laugh. Okay. There are varying measures of success, but it's not true that his administration has been more successful than any other administration in history. When it comes to legislation, Trump has signed plenty of bills in his first two years as president, but Barack Obama in his first two years has significantly more signed significantly more okay this is just one

thing i mean i'm sure there's many many other things absolutely going over and over again i'm with you i'm not saying he's not a bullshitter but i'm just saying all of a sudden they keep score when it went try he's no more of a liar than to keep score because he lies so much well who's keeping who is keeping score when fucking hillary was secretary of state well it's a senator in washington secretary of state and i don't know how much she lied as opposed to how much he relies are a lot bigger there's about her fucking server and about the steel dossier that that is huge that is getting undercovered like nobody's been that that dwarfs watergate when they unmask general flynn that that dwarfs watergate. When they unmask General Flynn.

That dwarfs Watergate. That's an interesting conversation. I don't know if that's the truth. I don't know enough about Watergate. All right. And I don't know enough about that either. Okay. Is it the coffee going on here?

Well, yeah. I'm fucking strung out. Can we move away from something political? Since when do you get afraid of an emotional guy? I'm fucking nuts. It's not emotional. It's just... I'm just... But you're acting as if i'm against you you're not against me even if you were that'll be fine but you're not you're not against me but i'm just saying to call trump a bigger lie than the fucking every other politician is an exaggeration i don't know by the mainstream

media who hates his guts i think most politicians arears. I think they're just accustomed to doing that. But I think the way he lies is unusual. I think it's the numbers are unusual. It's just an unusual... You don't think so? He exaggerates. Statements like that is an exaggeration. Although he did do a lot in his first couple years.

Would never get credit for it. Unless you watched Fox News. you're not going to, but. Would you agree that as you get older, you become more like more conservative? No, I was always a bit of a dick. I got a tattoo of Nixon on my ass. I thought it was for. Yes. No, I would say that was, that's a, what do they say about if you're what do they say about if you're young and conservative, you have no soul?

No heart. Yeah, no. If you're old and liberal, you have no mind. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I would say that's true. But I could always detect the bullshit. I mean, I remember watching CNN in an airport when I first started comedy, and that's like 1988, you know, and getting excited at some of the shit well it's interesting because uh i don't disagree with you on everything and i love you as a person you're a great guy i like you a lot always happy to see you but yet you and i here

get a little heated talking about this stuff but this is politics this is how divisive politics are if even a person like but i But I would never fucking, I would never leave here going, I don't want to do that show again. No, no, I'm sure. I hate Joe Ross. I think this is great. We've known each other for 30 years. Yeah. That's not the problem.

What I'm saying is, I'm just using it as an example of how divisive politics are. Oh, absolutely. When people talk about things. But I'm not afraid of it. No. You know what I mean? A lot of people are, right? Yes.

Yeah. I'm not afraid of it. A lot of people are afraid of bad vibes and bad feelings. Yes, they are. But this is one of the things that makes people toe the line. Right. The fear of this kind of altercation. The fear of this kind of, like, you don't want that from inside your party.

So you start using they and them. You start thinking that everyone should be able to use any bathroom that they feel like they identify with. You start going along the line. It's one of the more interesting things about politics is that if you tell me that you're a Republican, I can kind of guess your stance on God. I can kind of guess your stance on being pro-life, pro-choice, Second Amendment rights. It's like all those things sort of fall in line. And it's like all those things sort of fall in line and it's very interesting it's very interesting how you you sort of adopt not you but people sort of adopt a whole group of things when you decide you're a republican you decide you're a democrat right i don't but

yeah i don't think i fall into that um how do you feel about guns do Do you got any of them? What? Got any guns? Yeah How many you got? One Just one? Yeah I'm not a big gun guy As far as abortion

I don't want to say pro-choice But I'm not pro-life One of the big reasons is Like I got a dad who's dying of Alzheimer's Watching him It's the saddest thing. If I could kill him tomorrow and put him out of his misery, I would. I think you could take him to Oregon.

There's states that allow that. There's states that allow people to, I think. Can I go over state lines with him? Is it like taking a teenage girl over state lines? No, there was a girl who was dying of cancer who went to Oregon for that very reason. Yeah, Oregon is one of those, I might be saying it wrong, but I think the idea is a right to a dignified death. No, you're right. Just right about.

Yeah. Look, man, the idea that you're supposed to just keep staying alive until your fucking heart stops beating. Silly. Horrible pain. Silly. It's evil. Don't do it to your dog. I had to put my dog down.

Okay, I love this dog. I've had him for 13 years. I had to put him down because he couldn't walk anymore. What did you do, chuck him out? I brought him to a place. They actually came to my house, actually, and they put him down. Sad shit, but you can't do that for a 98-year-old man who's fallen apart. You have to let him eventually stop breathing.

Right. You know? Which is sad. All the rights should go out the window. That should be your first right. It's your goddamn life. Yeah. So that's why I couldn't be like pro-life or whatever.

And I got girls pregnant when I was younger, and I was glad there was a Planned Parenthood, whatever it was. Yeah. The guy in the alley with the stick. Who? I think his name was Dave. As long as he's named. So I don't, but in showbiz, Joe, you know how it is in showbiz, because this is a pretty liberal business.

If you're right on two of ten issues, you're like a fucking Nazi. Right. You know what I mean? Well, I get called alt-right adjacent. It's my favorite oh my god they keep coming up with that well you can't call me all right because i'm pretty left wing on most things yeah they call so they call me alt-right adjacent probably because i have people like you on now i'm going to be more alt-right adjacent because you because isn't that silly

you have me on to you know your listeners probably you know like you're like listen to this guy i don't agree with anything that should be a feather in your cap and they're gonna hold that against you yeah it's weird silly well you know it's not rational but again it's people trying to have an effect on you they're trying to have an effect they're trying to make some waves trying to do something they're writing blogs or creating videos. But they're doing it to try to put pressure on you. It's interesting, though. It's weird from a psychological perspective.

You're looking at it from the outside. You know, it's disconcerting when it's happening to you, but when you step back and look at it, like, it's interesting. It's like these systems are opposing each other, and they're trying to figure out where the weaknesses are and how to push to affect the other side. Yeah, and it's not just left-right. It's bigger than that. What was the book I read?

What's the place where they go to meet every year? Bohemian Grove? Bilderberg Group? Bilderberg Group. That was one of my favorite books the truth about the bilderberg group and um what goes on there and the powerful people that meet and uh people always say there's probably 10 guys in a room that run the whole fucking well okay but you show me them until then i'll stay in the left right fight and have fun right the idea is that

there's 10 guys they control everything and they don't give a fuck if it's left or right they're just about money it's yeah the Rockefellers were involved but it's weird that was really creepy they planned shit out decades ahead yeah they planned out an education yeah decades ahead

though and it comes true like they write a sitcom script that lasts for 15 years with plot points it was that book was incredible i can't remember the author's name but um yeah but i don't i don't mind i used to sit at that table at the comedy cellar that's how tough crowd came about me and patrice yelling at each other about racial shit tough crowd was a great fucking show but i really am worried that you couldn't have a show like that i know you should be now now let me ask you and i'm not taking left right but who would be to blame for that that that's why i lean right and i think

and you do in some areas you're in a i mean you're an artist you're a stand-up i cannot be i cannot vote with a party that is for censorship and for groupthink. Did we ever find out what's going on with Dennis Prager? Did we get a line on that? Is that still bothering you? No, no. It does bother me because I like the guy. He's great.

I don't agree with him on a lot of things, but he seems like a very nice guy, and I like Adam. I do, too. Both those guys. There's a lawsuit. He's bringing a adam i do too both those guys there's a lawsuit he's bringing a lawsuit that uh they think it's going to go a long way there's because they were labeling his show as hate speech maybe it's back up or whatever but i know that story you can find that anywhere there's a real concern that the ideologies behind these tech companies all go in one direction and they have the overwhelming control of the narrative because

of the fact that they're all – we're getting all of our information. Most people are getting it on their phones. Most people are getting a lot of their media on their phones. Netflix said something like 50% of the people that watch my special watch it on a phone. That's amazing. I mean, that's crazy that people are – so all this stuff is coming from these tech companies. Doesn't that kind of bother you that it's the phone? Because when I hear that, not that it matters with my specials, but when I picture somebody watching something on a phone, you don't have their full attention.

They're doing other things. You know what I mean? As opposed to sitting in front of their computer or their TV. Yeah. Does that kind of bug you? You put all that work into it And they're on the subway Watching it And then I don't pay attention

To what I can't control I don't It makes me nuts Yeah You gotta get over that That's where the mushrooms Come in You do love it

I'm gonna have to try though Try a little one I'll give you a little one Just a one stamp Not today I gotta drive to San Diego Oh it's perfect Me in traffic?

Yeah Whoa You're on mushrooms? What time is your show? I know I'm fucking gonna be What time is your show? Today, I got to drive to San Diego. Oh, it's perfect. Me in traffic? Yeah. We're on mushrooms? What time is your show? I know. I'm fucking going to be- What time is your show? 7.30. I pulled it up on Waze.

It says if I leave at three, it's going to take four hours. Oh, you better leave at two then. It's almost two. Are you kicking me out of here? No, no, no. What did I say wrong, Joe? You didn't say anything wrong. Was the coffee?

Did I get too cooky? I just drove there last week for Brendan Schaub's special He shot a Showtime special How long did it take? It took me five and a half hours To get down there Took me fucking forever I thought you might be flying

I didn't want to I was going to bring it up Before the show I thought I saw you At a show there tonight My manager My manager Yeah

My manager thought He was doing me a favor Well just pull it up in Google Just pull it up On Waze right now Yeah well Google will do it too If you just Google I'm a Waze right now. Yeah, well, Google will do it, too. If you just Google... I'm a Waze guy.

Where is the gig? Where are you at? Comedy Palace. Hey, ladies, don't punch him. Now you know where he is. Don't show up. I know you're going to throw that in my face. You motherfucker.

You racist piece of shit. You fucking sexist. You hate women. Feminism is not cancer. Oh, it is. It's a a fucking it's a uterine cancer future females are the future the future's feminine i'll take my life tonight that's the filthy whores anyways fucking hairy thick ankle girls who can't get laid and they turn their anger some of them are pretty they just i haven't met a stripper who's a feminist yet oh wow and

i've talked to almost two of them in the last 40 years. 3.45 right now. Three hours and 45 minutes. Three hours and 45 minutes. About six o'clock if you're not afraid of us. If you leave right now, you get there an hour before the show. You're kicking me out, Joe. No, no, no, no, no.

Don't make me come across as a kid. What I'm nervous about, and I'm just being honest, what I'm nervous about is that it's going to get exceedingly longer in the next hour. Do you understand it's making me nervous that you're nervous? I was the one who was going to have to get out of here a little early. I thought you were going to go, you'll be fine. You'll fucking get there. Dude, I got down to San Diego on Saturday night.

I was delirious. I'd been smoking in fucking fumes. The fumes from the highway because everything was stop and go the whole way. You still might want to try to catch a flight if you can. The only thing to say is- Oh because everything would stop and go the whole way. You still might want to try to catch a flight if you can. The only thing that saved me was...

Oh, I'm not going to the fucking airport. Run the jewels. I would rather walk. Run the jewels is the only thing that saved me. Just rocking out in my car.

It was a horrible drive. Yeah. Well, the whole world lives here, of course. It's going to be horrible. No. The real Americans live in the middle,

don't they? Jesusland? Yeah. The flyover states? I'd rather live in ohio where do you like to work where's like your favorite place to perform see that's where i'm gonna get you san francisco i love san francisco i'm kidding i haven't been there in years they loved me when i was in the competition because like some people are happy that someone's like bucking the trend that's right well that's how it used to be, but that's how left-wing and then fucking stupid they've turned into. Bobby Slayton could have run for mayor of San Francisco, right? Yeah. Does he still play up there a lot?

I have not seen Bobby in forever. They love me. I almost won that competition. They had me at the punchline twice a year for like three years. I love the punchline. And then all of a sudden, no go. But I don't... People's tough, people always say, I bet you killed down south in Atlanta.

No, those people, they all have guilt complexes about being racist and bigots. So when you do something off color, they're laughing under their cowboy hats. What about Cleveland? Cleveland's a tough one for me. They don't have a like, they don't have like, I don't know, my sarcasm's almost too,

they're almost too Midwest for me. You know what I mean? Honest to God. Really? What about Columbus? I don't do Columbus. Why don't you do Columbus? I don't know.

Artie Lang got in trouble for fucking doing black jokes there. I don't do black jokes. I'm just saying. I don't know. So Artie Lang got in trouble there so he's like, oh, scratch that one off the list. Too dangerous prop a black bouncer complained because he did a black

joke i'm like oh that sounds like a great club yeah which club is this the funny bone yeah it's a great fucking club i know i'll get there get over there i will go i'll get there all right no because it's changed a lot since um well i just said because i thought it's i want to do small theaters joe i don't want to do clubs oh okay you know yeah i'm doing this to cover the cost of coming out here tonight and i'm doing ventura harbor comedy club because i oh that's a good spot it's fun that chinese restaurant well no it's an actual club upstairs yeah it's a chinese restaurant it is not it's a comedy club i worked it what do you mean a chinese restaurant it's connected to

a chinese restaurant chinese food there oh it's connected to a comedy club. I worked it. What do you mean a Chinese restaurant? It's connected to a Chinese restaurant. Well, they have Chinese food there. Oh, it's connected to a restaurant. Well, don't make it sound like I'm standing in the kitchen. I worked there. I told you I worked there, too. Well, the mochi pork's coming up. What the fuck?

It's a good spot. I love it. So I'm doing that Sunday night. I'm not scared to work at a Chinese restaurant. Is this coming up? This is streaming live, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So comedy pal, I'm counting on it because I did no radio.

I'm polishing their knuckles Right now Good I'm fucking I have two knives in my car Can I bring that samurai thing Can I bring that 1500 year old sword I want to give you

Some sort of protection I don't want to give you A weapon Oh please I can do 12 deep knee bends Nobody's going to fuck with me 12 What about

Come on You can admit For 57 I'm hanging in there You look good bro I'm hanging in there Especially for no hormone replacement I know

I'm trying to get you on the sauce You don't think that's my first call? Me? Yeah Yeah I'll hook you up I'll get you to the doctor They'll take care of you

Figure out what your Blood levels are at Get you on the right vitamins Can it be a doctor Me in New York Right? Oh for sure There's a lot near you

Gotta get you off of these though Get you on of these. What do you got there? Marijuana. Yeah, I know. I heard. Scared of the marijuana. Doesn't it help you go to sleep or something?

Aren't you one of those guys? No, I can't. I don't remember. I took one-eighth of an edible. It was like doing acid for me. I was watching Bob Newhart, and all of a sudden I was in this fucking show, and it was in Black and Wife, and my wife was not not my wife and my house was not my house. I got all this.

So this is from a little bit of an edible. Those are strong. They're making them strong. They're doing horrible things to people out here. But now they have new rules where each edible has to be 10 milligrams, which is doable. But here's the thing.

Ain't nobody measuring those fucking things. How about the CBD shit, Joe? CBD's great. But here's the thing. Ain't nobody measuring those fucking things. How about the CBD shit, Joe? CBD's great. I know. I went into a bar in New York, and the bar attendant pushed it on me. They were like, he had like a campaign going. And the problem was I had already had a couple drinks, so I couldn't tell, but I slept good when I took it. Yeah, CBD's amazing.

Yeah? Yeah, some of it has a little bit of THC in it But it's very little Most of it is very little But it's really good For your joints And for aches and pains Yeah Inflammation and stuff like that

For a lot of people It's good for anxiety You know I don't have any of that I'm as cool as a cucumber Wow amazing Even with the cigarettes Amazing

That's what keeps me cool What about Texas Do you like working in Texas Yes Yeah I gotta be honest I haven't been to these places In a while But yes What You don't go to Texas No I did It keeps me cool. What about Texas? Do you like working in Texas? Yes. Yeah. I've got to be honest. I haven't been to these places in a while, but yes.

You don't go to Texas? No, I did. I was in Dallas. And some of the jokes that make people cringe elsewhere were getting rounds of applause. In Dallas. Anytime I said Jew, just, you know, not in a hateful way. Am I fucking nice? But, you know. Maybe you say Jew, and it's not in a hateful way. It might be fucking nice, but, you know.

Maybe you say Jew, and it's not in a hateful way. It sounds hateful. It does sound. That's a weird word. Louie does a bit about that. I used to ask Louie when we lived together, I go, how come we first moved to New York? I said, I hear people saying, yeah, he's a Jew or whatever, and nobody gets mad and stuff. Because in Boston, if somebody said, yeah, that fucking Jew. But Dallas was great for me.

Dallas is great. Oh my God. Houston's great. Austin's great. Texas is the shit. Houston I did an album in Houston. Austin on Do you do it at the Laugh Stop

in River Oaks? Yes. What a great club that was. I did an album there. Is it there no more? No it's not. That was Apparently the building

is still there. Yeah. What is it now? They use it sometimes like they'll have shows there sometimes i think someone had something there for a while i don't know the full story but that was one of the greatest clubs ever laugh stop and river oaks remember that crazy dude was running it the fuck's his name yeah fuck's his name bald guy yes mark yes yes yeah yeah he had an italian last name oddly enough joey knew him real well real well i forgot about that dude yeah yes and that was bill hicks yeah place they had a fucking legit open open mic in the fucking yeah in the front in the front part and it was legit like good comics i watched it i go these kids are open mics Yeah Some about Houston right Yep

Houston is a very Eclectic city It's really different It's not what people think of When they think of Houston They think of like cowboy hats And oil No

It's not It's very diverse There's a lot It's very urban There's a lot of cool shit Going on in Houston Very artistic I'm a big fan

Yeah Same with like People always go You must kill an Atlantan I'm a big fan. Yeah. Same with like, you know, people always go, oh, you must kill in Atlanta and shit. I'm like, no, they're PC. They're cosmopolitan areas for the most part. Yeah, you don't kill in Atlanta? Well, I kill if I want to. But some of the shit that you think, but some of the stuff you think would kill, you know,

it's like, even for us down here. Right. But, you know, cosmopolitan areas is more, you know. What about Phoenix? Phoenix is a good spot. Phoenix is good. That's a great spot. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a few great spots. If you didn't live in New York, where would you live? For comedy purposes? Yeah. For life and comedy. For life and comedy? Yeah.

Burlington, Vermont. Really? No, I'm kidding. Be up there with fucking Ben and Jerry? No. Knock it on Vermont. Really? No, I'm kidding. Fucking be up there with fucking Ben and Jerry. No, I would- Knock it on Bernie's door. Where would I? Boy.

It has to involve comedy. Probably Texas. Really? Yeah. Somewhere. My brother lived outside of Dallas and he loved it. That's great. Would you have money?

You could have seven castles. Ooh, seven. I don't want seven. Too many to look after. Folks, you should see the place we're in doing Joe's show. Yeah. The gym outside is worth it. It's a nice gym.

I like Texas. I'm a big fan of Texas. I'd live in Texas. I think I'd live in Colorado first, though. Yeah? Yeah. Weed? Not just weed.

Mountains. You like the mountains? I love what it does for you. There's something about being, mountains. You like them, huh? I love what it does for you. There's something about being around mountains that it, I was actually reading something about this, that there's an actual thing that happens to people when you're faced with immense natural beauty, that it diminishes your ego and yourself, and it puts people in, you know, what you would call a more spiritual perspective. Being around mountains, It's humbling

Sure You're around them It's beautiful It's like the best looking art You could ever see It's like a gorgeous mountain With some green hills And the sun coming out of the clouds

It's as good to look at As anything that's ever existed Like I'm not very religious I don't know I haven't made up my mind But when I see stuff like that Is when I get kind of You want to make up your mind? I when I see stuff like that is when I get kind of...

You want to make up your mind? I got something right here for you. What is that, mushrooms? That's what mushrooms are. I know, that's exactly what they're for. Come on, bro. Just make up your mind. How about Joe?

Can you imagine if I took these and did your show before? Just take a little one like this. No, fuck that. Nobody's got to get hurt. Just a little one like this. No, fuck that. Nobody's got to get hurt. Just a little one. Jamie, would you do that? Maybe. Just a little one.

I don't want to be giggling in the car on the way down throwing up on myself. You'll be fine. What's it do? What's going to happen? I want to get out of here before it takes effect.

That's going to get me in a fucking some type of scissors lock. It should be legal. It's supposed to be legal everywhere. I believe that. It would make people mellow the fuck out, right?

It would. Open that third eye, man. It would do something really good for people. The problem is you forget you take it sometimes. You know, like an hour and a half later,

you're like, why am I so weak? Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't want to be that far in my own head. That's scary. Have you ever done the float tank?

No. You want to do that? Well, I can't. I can't. I you ever done the float tank? No. You want to do that? Well, I can't. I can't. I've got to float the fucking San Diego. I should go down there on the raft

like everybody else does. Last time I ran into you. I am so nervous that you get nervous about me making my show. Do you understand? Yeah. I think we're going to

get you out of here in about 15 minutes. That's what I think is the right move. Is that all right? Yeah. I think that's the right move. Maybe 10. You guys got me really fucking nervous now. Yeah, I think that's the right move. Maybe 10.

You guys got me really fucking nervous now. I wish I wasn't, but at least you have Waze. Waze will put you on some weird fucking funky backcountry routes that'll cut 20 minutes

out of it. I'll end up in Mexico. You'll be fine. Very close to Mexico, but super conservative. That's what's interesting about San Diego. I used to,

my first album, I did in La Jolla. Military. Yes. It's all military down there Yeah Safe as fuck Yeah

Maybe I'll have one of those guys At my show tonight People have said to me Like where would you Would you live in a military town Like yes That's a good place to live You're gonna have gyms

For sure You're definitely gonna have Gun ranges When you say that Is that when they throw you Into the alt-right Adjacent category Stuff like that Probably Yeah You're definitely going to have gun ranges When you say that Is that when they throw you into the alt-right adjacent category? Stuff like that

Probably Yeah I mean the American flag behind me probably contributes to that too Oh my god how horrible I know You're a fucking extremist Joe What next the constitution? Decolonizing

That's one of my favorite things Decolonizing You've been paying attention to that expression People want to decolonize certain things Like what? Oh like hairstyles and shit decolonize yeah yeah you're not yeah there was a guy who got kicked off of a show is he's a mushroom talking already no no no there's a guy who got kicked off of a show he was um he was on a show uh i think was in montreal and he had uh he had dreadlocks on and it was this he's apparently gender fluid which i guess means i dabbled in that yeah you can go back and forth between being a man

and a woman but he does have dreadlocks and they kicked him off the show because he's a white guy with dreadlocks and he defended their position uh and one of the phrases they used was about decolonizing specific uh hairstyles and taking them away from white people and giving them back to the people. Oh, that's sort of appropriation is what they're accusing you of. Cultural appropriation. Yeah. Hairstyles.

I'd like to go with dreads as a 57-year-old Italian guy. You'd be weird. You'd be weird with dreads. I'd get famous just from that. Yeah. That and a white goatee. Colin Quinn says I should wear a black. He says I'm going to.

Turtleneck? Steve Jobs? A black turtleneck with yellow lightning bolts and call myself Don Corrado. Why? Why Don Corrado? He's just being funny. I heard he has an amazing new show. That guy.

I watch him work it out, man. It's all about politics. It's about what we're talking about. About red versus blue. It's so timely and shit. And, you know, he's a craftsman. I watch him. The Fat Black Pussycat.

I go on sometimes. I have a show up to his. What is the Fat Black Pussycat? You'd fucking love it. It's right around the corner from the Comedy Cellar. It's got a real bohemian feel to it people sitting in couches there's lamps it holds about 75 people carlin was of course quick enough and smart enough to say i'm using this every night to work shit out and people know you can say look i'm only charging you five dollars because i'm going to be working

new stuff out but you would love it it's kind of a bohemian feel to it. And they give you the door. Not that that has anything to do with you. But it's great. You do an hour of your own. I smoke sometimes. It's so fun. Again, it's like 75 seats.

It's a little balcony. The fact that you do an hour is very attractive. So New York has some weird little clubs, man. It's so, again, it's like 75 seats. It's a little balcony. The fact that you can do it in an hour is very attractive. So New York has some weird little clubs, man. It's really interesting how New York has it. Because guys are just hopping around like that. When I lived in New York, I could never afford to live in the city. So I lived in New Rochelle. And when I did gigs, I was like, well, I could work in town and do 10 minutes or 15 minutes.

Or I could just go on the road and do a gig in Connecticut or do a gig in Jersey and make actual money. And so I always did that. So even when I lived in New York, I hardly ever worked in New York. Yeah, I don't as much anymore. I used to, you know, I used to go to the Comedy Cell every night, but Louie made that place world famous. Yeah. And it's not, it used to be a room where you could work shit out and take your time, but it's you know it's a fucking tourist it's packed it's still a great club and i but i feel like you'll grow that i don't want to do i don't want to go on stage unless i'm doing at least

40 minutes right right you know i mean i gotta get something done uh 15 minutes sets don't that's why i still do the fat black pussy cat, which is such a great thing. Look at that. Nice. Yeah, that's it. Nice little spot. And that looks big. You know, it always looks bigger from a picture.

It's tiny. That's from the balcony up there. So is it like the belly room at the store? It's smaller than that. Really? Oh, yeah. Way smaller than that. Way smaller than that. The store is 70 people upstairs. So it's small smaller than that really oh yeah way smaller than that way smaller than that the store is 70 people upstairs so it's basically the same oh the one way up the belly room yeah

yeah not the original room i was thinking original the bell yeah i would say like that yeah yeah it's you'd fucking love it and people are sitting in couches and shit wow it's it's really cool and and noam who runs the he couldn't be nicer. And that's the only one I really do in the city. Really? Yeah. I'm like you. I'd rather go to Governor's or somewhere else and do some real time.

Governor's is a great club. Yeah. The other thing about doing clubs where there's a lot of people on, where you're only doing 15 minutes, the good thing about it is that it's not your crowd. So you have to make people laugh that are there just to see comedy. They're not just to see Nick DiPaolo. Right. Like if you go to,

you know how that happens to some guys, they develop their crowd and then they kind of lose their edge? Yes. Fucking, it's scary, right? Yes. Yes. Last time I saw you on stage,

I walked into Caroline's. I was just in town for something and you were on stage. It was a late show. And you were doing some fucking show about Katrina, a joke about Katrina that they spelled help wrong on the roof. You know how many people die because they couldn't spell help? Guy looking down from a helicopter says, hep.

Yeah. I said, if you want hep, just step in that water you're standing. I was fucking crying laughing. I'm like, nick is just still swinging from the hip that's my way that's my favorite joe that that stage is still one of my favorites in the country i don't do carolines you know the problem with carolines though is when they reduce the stage down to the size of a fucking shoebox yes but but on you're absolutely adjustable yeah but on a but like on a t, Wednesday night with like 60, 70 people in there.

Oh, it's amazing. It is my favorite. I was so comfortable because I played it so much when I first moved to New York. I could stay up there for three hours. I got so much done. I wrote half specials on that stage by doing like Tuesday nights for a year. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it's so loose. That's where you get it done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Like 60 people in the crowd fucking around. Isn't that not the fucking best? I did some little place up in Canada, Niagara Falls, the Corner Comedy Club. I mean, a real hole in the wall.

Shitty tables and, you know, fucking just cheesy. Had the best time of my life. Well, when a place is big, then it becomes a show. And you have to do your act. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to work tight. Yeah, yeah. have to do your act. Yeah. You have to work tight. Yeah. Which stifles creativity.

Yeah. That's one of the reasons why Ari, when he does a store, he'll sign up for late night and he'll get on like a 1245 or some shit like that and there's 20 people there. And I always say that that's like truth serum. Because if you do your act in front of 20 people, you know what sucks. Like there's no confusing what sucks. It's right in front that's right that's right you feel the terribleness of your material you don't need 250 people tell you suck it takes four couples yeah paying attention and you just but you feel it like you can kind of song and dance your way through a couple of

hundred people that's right because yeah, you're exactly right. A barometer. Always said that. Give me just double figures. Give me 15 to 20. Yes. That is enough. Right?

It's great to work out material. Of course. It's great to cut out all the horse shit in your act. Yeah, because if there's only 15 people in the room and seven of them don't like the joke, oh, you fail it. Yeah. The 15, if someone's sitting there with their cross arms staring you down like yikes that's where the work gets done yeah yeah i hate i used to hate playing carolines and this is ironic but this is when i was you know had comedy central specials and i was kind of hot and i would sell out carolines i would hate it though like two

shows on a saturday night because it's packed and i know i have something called the asshole quotient for every 20 people in the club is one asshole so if there was like 250 you know somebody do the math so you got more assholes yeah i always that was my rule so you have to work fast and tight to keep their attention but right as opposed to taking your time on a tuesday night in front of 60 people and the real funny comes out yeah when you say shit in between your proven bits yes there's the gold yeah right yeah it comes out of nowhere it's like it opens up when you and you put yourself in that frame of mind too when there's only 30 people and uh you know midnight or something like that you're putting yourself in a different frame there's no pressure

what can now let me ask you that that's it can you do that in front of a full room? I can't put myself in that mentality. It's hard. Because you have to work differently. I feel like I'm being a pussy and giving in. But I know damn well if I work as slow as I do in front of 40, 50 people, in front of 250 or 300, somebody's going to get anxious in the audience. At least that's my, that mentality, like you said, when you show up with 50 people it's almost like fucking around somebody's living room yeah yeah yeah and i want that feeling in front of 300

people or 400 people it's always different you know we were talking about that last night that like when you do a large theater it's so much different than doing a club even if you do a packed club of 500 people then you move to a place that's got 5 000 people it's just a different feeling it's a totally different feeling you have to do the air quotes act. You got to do your act. 5,000. Yeah. It's weird.

Large numbers are weird. Yeah. Timing's different. You can't hammer the punchlines like you can in a club. Like in a club, you go punch. You remember Gavin would hit a punchline after punchline. Tag, tag, tag, tag. And those tags would just have everybody roll. Oh, yeah.

Well, if he was doing 10,000 people, those tags would get drowned out in the laughter of all the people around you. I tried tagging when I did my first Tonight Show. I tried tagging, you know, and like I said, I got lost. Other than Burbank. It's Burbank, people. Whoever. But you don't tag like you're in a club you know yeah i remember learning that lesson tv yeah but you're absolutely right uh gavin was rapid fire

and uh i remember watching him at nicks i came in when i first thought of coming and i step in the door he's on stage and i'm like is he dying everybody all everybody was doubled over in the audience i thought he was fucking dying. All of a sudden, you know, you couldn't hear any laughter. All of a sudden, a huge roar. I mean, because he would tag, like you said, tag a joke 11 times. Yeah. And people are still dying from the laugh.

They were literally bent over. Nothing was coming out of them. Yeah. I mean, he was shaking the rafters. They couldn't breathe. Yeah. I think we got a chance to see some guys that are probably some of the best comics of all time, and people don't know.

You know, I think between Sweeney and Gavin and Lenny and those guys that we saw when they were in their prime. Kenny Rogers. Yeah, Kenny. When we were coming up, those guys were in their prime. And when we were young, we got a chance to see, I think, some of the greatest of all time. No doubt about it. But they got stuck. Well, the guys at Nick's put them on a contract for a while to remember gave them good money and coke yeah they they were making i remember gav telling me

they were making three grand a weekend and not having to leave your city yeah making road money and and like you said a little some perks on the side um free booze free all that yeah all that but they all live great well did they ever but yeah in the long run you know um well in the long run it was a problem but we got to see some crazy fucking i remember those some of those nights at nick's comedy style but you watch those guys get i remember sweeney killing so hard you almost wanted to quit comedy i know there's no way i could do that well i had to follow the fucking guy. Gavin would, in Boston back then, you know, Don Gavin's show, he would be the host. Remember?

No, Gavin would be the host. Yeah, he would start off the show. Yeah. That's a different thing about Boston, too, right? That's right. Like, if you did the Nick DiPaolo show at Nick's Comedy Stop, you would start off the show. That's right. And what was crazy, it was great for young comedy, but I had to follow Gavin.

Doing a tight 15. Jesus. So it made me, you know, fucking, you had to be able to hold your own. Yeah. And they talk at 100 miles an hour, plus they're coked up. And they're really funny. They're really funny, and they got heavy Boston accents, and they're big men. They're like big, imposing people.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they would destroy some guy who came in i remember guys something gold ronnie gold from new york had just done his first tonight show and shit and he was coming to nicks for the weekend and everybody was dropping in gavin would do 10 chance lang doing all this guitar and literally get like a standing ovation here's ronnie gold five minutes into it cricket people cricket cricket angry fucking irish kids with their blonde eyebrows

You fucking suck Yeah I remember that That was a tough room If you were having a bad set Well they would do it To the people on purpose They would do it To anybody from out of town

That had a big attitude And a Hollywood resume They did it to Billy Crystal They lit Billy Crystal Up in that room Well that I understand Yeah well You gotta do what you gotta do

They did it to everybody though Yeah It was crazy to watch. Well, yeah. They were like, these guys, we're as funny as them. We're going to punish them. And they would. You know who they didn't do it to?

Dom Herrera. Exactly. Dom Herrera went up there like a fucking champ and just rode the wave. Yes, he would. He just kept that wave going. He's that funny. Yeah. I went on Comics Come Home a couple years ago.

No, not the last one. The one before that. And Dom had to close the show and it was a murder's row bobby kelly fucking me billy burr taking the roof off the dump and i'm like dom has to close this and i he's as funny as anybody but i'm just saying how's he gonna he goes up there and he did something self-deprecating it gets a nice within a minute and a half he had them and there was no drop off there was no drop off in response i went home i didn't realize he was that fucking good oh he's still that good dom herrera has not lost a step brilliant i see him

at the store all the time yeah quit drinking told me quit drinking for two months Very happy for him Yeah I saw He has hands that like shake He has a nerve issue Yeah It's actually It goes from his shoulder

All the way down to his arm Yeah Mushrooms That'll help him Or hurt him That's what he said Oh shit He told me that's what

God damn it Now that you brought it up Fuck Dude we better Honestly better get you out of here I'll have Look I said before Anytime Joey Come on by I God damn it. Now that you brought it up. Fuck. Dude, we honestly better get you out of here. Look, I said before, anytime. Joey.

Come on by. I would. I mean, this shows as powerful as anything out there. TV, radio. And that flight just makes me mentally ill. I get it. I fucking almost started crying halfway out here. I just got a guy next to me sucking on a straw like a six-year-old.

With ice in his glasses, nothing in it. It's 110 degrees. On the plane? Baby behind me screaming like somebody was using the soft spot on his head for a fucking ashtray. I can't make this shit up. I almost fucking I was almost crying. But you know what? I gotta come out here more than once. Yeah. Every two years. Yeah. If you'll have me. Come out.

Yeah, and next time, I've got a show tonight, the improv, but anytime. I know. Anytime you want. Come do shows with me. We'll do next time I've got a show tonight The Improv But anytime I know Anytime you want Come do shows with me We'll do it I'll be in traffic With the rest of the world

Can I plug a couple Yeah yeah yeah Tell anybody where you are My podcast Just go to nickdip.com And Monday through Thursday At 6pm Eastern It streams live

For free on Monday and Wednesdays And I just shot a thing called Stickmen in October. It's about an instructional baseball clinic. You know Adam Ray, the comedian? Yeah. He's in it. Okay, cool. Andrew Parisi wrote it.

And Andrew's partner already sold some stuff to Netflix. So we're hoping. And it came out killer. It's called Stickmen. It's really testosterone driven. So you'd fucking like it. NickDip.com for my show. Tonight at the Comedy Palace,

Sunday night, Ventura Harbor Comedy Club slash Chinese restaurant. It's a good spot. Good food. It's fucking awesome. And what am I forgetting? I know I'm forgetting something.

Instagram and Twitter, all that stuff. Instagram and Twitter, but go to NickDip.com. The show's growing Leaps and bounds I'm shooting a special In March

At Cohoes Hall in New York I think I'm just gonna Put that one out there Use your What you told me Just flood the market with it Not even charge people Just flood it

Right Flood it Get it out there Because my stand up Is still my thing Alright Love you man Love you too brother

Love you Joe Always good to see you Same here Nick DiPaolo Ladies and gentlemen Woo I'm so nervous Love you, man. Love you, Joe. Always good to see you. Same here. Nick DiPaolo, ladies and gentlemen. Woo! I'm so nervous.