The Joe Rogan Experience - #1256 - David Lee Roth

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

David Lee Roth is the lead singer of multi-platinum hard rock band from Southern California, Van Halen. https://inktheoriginal.com/

four three two one and we're live mr roth as live as live we'll ever possibly get on the intergrid international good to see you man you really do look great you look healthy you look vibrant you look surprised no don't look so surprised you know i haven't been to sleep since the late 80s. I didn't miss a thing. I'm a little groggy, but I'm good to go. In my job, you expect dissipation and illness, right? It kind of goes along with you expect a disintegration in my kind of job.

Lemmy from Motorhead style. Do you know the term wabasabi? Do you know what that is? No. Wabasabi is a Japanese term that succinctly put means that which is perfect because it's a little fucked up. Ah, right. Your favorite jeans, very wabasabi. Yes, like a patina on an old car.

The guitar player in the Rolling Stones, very wabasabi. Yes, yes, he's very wabasabi. Yes, yes. He's very Wabasabi. Yeah. And New York City, for example, the old that starts to fall apart right next to the new, that's part of the beauty there. Your favorite leather jacket. Yeah. Is that, can you expect that to increase? But I don't know. I'm not really an athlete.

I don't really train. I'm kind of a singer who always traded his celebrity to, you know, hey, show me how you do that. And how many times should I lift this? And what happens if I fall off of this going this fast? But you used to train, right? You used to. Didn't you train with Benny Urquidez? Oh, yeah.

I went through martial arts the first time. Let me go back. Okay. I lived in student housing up until I was just about a teenager okay and it was a time when you bought one paintbrush at a time okay and most of my values come from that public library i learned to swim in a public swimming pool and my dad finished medical school okay i happened i wasn't planned in the 50s that that happened a lot. And so we had a lot, a lot of patients who were kind of on the periphery of Pasadena, California, which is

where we came. I was born in Indiana, lived in Massachusetts. He was a resident. Grew up around the hospitals. Dinner meant going to the hospital, meet dad. And when we came out to L.A., the Japanese were kind of peripheral. Spanish-speaking people, curiously enough, you know, the running story was that there were six Spanish-speaking people at UCLA and three of them were in gardening. No, really. Back in the 60s, that was the case. Today, easily, you know, massive amounts of percentages.

Yo hablo suficiente espanol también. Okay. It's not the second language. It's kind of the first and a half now. Right. Things have really changed a manto. Yeah. And I grew up in those neighborhoods.

Okay. So I can gang sign the whole alphabet. Can you really? Yeah. I have two lowr whole alphabet can you really yeah i have two low riders i've got really i got a 51 mercury that's chop drop low and slow do you drive it oh yeah i got a 66 v-dub bug with a chevy engine a 383 up in the front and i can roll my arms you gotta roll your arms what do you drive those things?

Well, we drive them all around. Southern California, of course, is different. A lot of you are listening in with five layers and going, hey, I'm not driving anywhere for the next three days according to the weather map. But here, for example, it's t-shirt weather. So the great outdoors means, how's that sound over the headphones good sounds like a like an engine yep yeah but i always trade the first time i ever we were just uh playing with a sword there and that's not a summarize sword that's like calling a nine millimeter a police gun yeah it kind of is because they use but that's a katana right and we were playing with that a

little bit first time somebody handed me those we were at the buddhist temple in pasadena 19 you bet i remember 1965 and there was a demonstration of the japanese culture thank you and a fella came out and demonstrated ito and, you know, the sword arts and stuff. And then he said, I'm going to take somebody from the audience. And my dad pushed me. And I walked out in the middle of that floor and held it. Here, hold that sword. Just like you said.

Wow. What is that, a 100-year-old sword? It's from the 1500s. Whammo. Muramachi or something like this. First time I held that sword, it was like out of a graphic novel. Lightning. In a zoomer.

It's Japanese for lightning. Careful what you show your kids, Joe. Well, you went and lived in, like last time I talked to you, you were living in Japan. Nice. And you were doing kendo over there. Yes. Well, you pitch a ball someday, I'm going to play for the Yankees,

Joe. I loves to wrestle and grapple and someday I'm going to get in the middle of a ring and Joe Rogan's going to say my name. And I'm working my way

up through Ed Parker's American Kempo system and someday I'm going to Japan. Wow. And I'm going to learn from the guys who invented this stuff. Now I'm putting on a pork barrel accent to make it entertaining, but I did.

And I started exactly like I did in Barham Boulevard making rock and roll with the Mighty V, Mighty Van Halen in the late 70s at the Oakwood Garden Apartments in midtown Tokyo. I did not know a single person. I didn't know a syllable of Japanese. I had no idea where I was. And no, I can't drive on the left side of the street. I barely carry a cell phone. Come on.

And I expected a lifetime of adventure. You do all the traveling. Come on. Artist to artist, you're home everywhere now, aren't you? Yeah, in a lifetime of adventure. You do all the traveling. Come on, artist to artist, you're home everywhere now, aren't you? Yeah, in a lot of ways. You are the comfortable one in the room, especially if there's conflict, which there always is. And that's what's the most unsettling to the tourist. Travelers, you're at home.

When you first start learning Japanese, it comes in three stages. First, you watch kids' shows on television because they pronounce everything and nobody interrupts. Then you watch the news. Everybody speaks with a perfect accent, bigger words, nobody interrupts. And then you start going with me to the movies in the middle of the day

on Tuesday in Tokyo, Ikinza, and you're the only pale face in the room. It's all in Japanese, and it to the movies in the middle of the day on Tuesday in Tokyo at Ginza, and you're the only pale face in the room, it's all in Japanese, and it's the movies. Everybody's interrupting, everybody's shooting, screaming sirens, airplanes going by. And if you can begin to decipher even one character, then you'll develop yours, maybe. Do you know how to write it? Well, you practice that, certainly. And think of it as cross-training. There are a lot of schools, for example, Hebrew school. You always hear about Hebrew school before you go to bar mitzvah class. It's an ancient way of, wait a minute, you got to develop the side of your brain by correlating designs with language with meaning that may not actually be in English.

Nobody's walking around speaking Hebrew after only four summers of whack, but you develop that side of your brain to where you start to have a capacity to learn in an accelerated way. So all your best musicians speak a couple languages. All your best politicians speak a couple. All your best artists, architects, all your best design folks politicians. Speak a couple. All your best artists. Architects. All your best design folks and stuff. Speak a couple of languages.

It's no secret that you develop that side of your brain. If your kids don't speak Spanish, get after it. I gotta learn a language. And it's never too late. You'll see the difference. I did every single day. I called it Roth University university in tokyo

every morning uh two hours japanese class you know speaking the language i can get things done for you but i'm not conversant right you follow uh the end result is that it's cross training all right long-term memory my short-term memory is a little too short. It gets shorter. But you'll see the difference in your ability to remember what you read. You'll start remembering everything you see. Sometimes that's dangerous. Because of the fact that you're learning this new thing.

So you're activating this part of your brain. Oh, yeah. You'll start it off with little kids in art class, for example, where you take a pencil and you go, this is just a pencil. But what else could it be? Well, in this environment, it's a stick shift. No, it's not. It's a kubotan. He's got Joe's wrist.

No, and the little girls go, it's a bow, Dad. Me, I'm a hero. I'll save the day. And you can start to think in those terms using actual language. Movement, same thing. At this point in your career with jiu-jitsu and grappling, you have a vocabulary that starts to expand, expand by having to learn and challenge and challenge. People marvel at Anthony Bourdain. God bless him.

One of his biggest talent was to be at home everywhere. No matter what somebody might say or posture or present, he was able to let it go by, win later, or no, we'll duke it out right here. And he had the capacity to stay cool in the middle of all of it. So maybe it's stay cool school. What do you think? Well, he just had a fascinating mind for travel and food and culture. And he just wanted to know everything about how these people thought about the world and saw things differently.

And I kind of feel bad now for people that don't travel. I really do. I feel like you're missing so much of what a human being is. Travel is a little bit perhaps like music or looking at art on the wall. You kind of have to have somebody teach you how to do it a little bit. Yeah, yeah. It's like the fight game. Yeah.

Yo, you know, somebody could sit with you and get really bored with technical boxing. It might be the best you've ever seen, and it's not a slugfest or a brawl, and you have to explain, well, see, some jazz. That's Bitches Brew. Conor McGregor's Bitches Brew, arguably one of the most several. It's all over the place. And some is very contained, like the disc jockey's voice. Yeah. Some people are very mechanized.

The jazz thing is a really good analogy. Because you're either into jazz or you're not into jazz. And I like it as background music, but I have a good friend. My friend Alonzo Bowden is a jazz aficionado, and he hosts jazz tours and stuff. He's a stand-up comic, so he'll do comedy on these things. He just loves it. I mean, he lives for it. Well, I see the look on your face.

It's because nobody taught you how to taste beer. Beer works in three parts, and like it says in the Pickwick Papers, you don't taste it with a sip. What do you taste it with? You got to gulp. You got to quaff. You got to something. And when you describe, well, there's the finish to the taste of a Cuban cigar. You mean when it's finished in the, no.

The finish. Okay, somebody explain these things to me. All right. What's the difference between Scototch whiskey and Tennessee bourbon? Well, there's an E in the word. In bourbon whiskey, there's an E, and there is no E in the word. In whiskey for scotch, okay. That simple sort of starts it.

Jazz music, somebody explains it to you in very simple, digestible, not lofty necktie terms. Okay. You begin to understand a little bit of what's going on. How do you explain it to someone? Okay. How would you explain jazzy? I'm going to, I'll really tighten up for you. Excuse me.

Wow, at least I got my health going for me. We'll do it in the Beatles style. Here's the best way to go for somebody new and interested. The McCartney note and the Lennon note. Okay. The McCartney note is always kind of happy. I've actually bumped into Sir Paul over at Henson Studios and he's really happy. Okay.

And his note will go. Hear how pretty that sounds. Sounds pretty. I'll do it again. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Listen to the last three notes. The drop off. And there's a little darkness. And one of those last three notes is where you get that little bit of pepper in the chocolate. You know. And it's a little wistful. It's a little melancholy. And eat life like that.

And when you put them together, it doesn't sound like they do. But if I could, I'd sing both parts and it goes together. And you go, wow, bittersweet. Like my fucking career. Like my last three, and here we go. So you kind of have to listen to jazz like you would taste wine. Okay. The best for this, Thelonious Monk.

You know? Same thing. The right hand is Paul, left hand's John, and he's working these things. You can't tell, is it happy or sad? Right. I don't know. How was dinner last night? Same.

It is indicative if that's what's around you, because it's not just happy. That's Disney. It's not just sad. Think of somebody who's always tuning his guitar to sad. There are some folks who do that. Leonard Cohen, who has since passed. That sounded more like Bowie I know what you mean

Got any tattoos? Yeah, two sleeves Yeah, both my arms Same here I rarely show Yeah Okay, maybe that's a baby boomer thing You have them from the elbow up?

Yeah This is all Japanese style, right? Traditional tap style? Did you get that done? Yeah, all my colors were tapped in. And in front is Horiyoshi. I have the tuxedo. Damn, you do?

Yeah, the whole... Butt cheeks and everything? Yeah, the whole thing. Wow. Interpreter had to sit on me and hold me down. I'm not going to kid you. You know, it was a trial. Yeah, I would imagine.

Is it much more painful to do it that way? No. Well, it was a trial. Yeah, I would imagine. Is it much more painful to do it that way? No. Overall, I think what happens is tattoo, when you get something that stings, you can take it for a while. It's the distance that counts. You can take the cold for 30 seconds. You can take immeasurable cold. Are you doing the cryo dunk?

Yeah, I do that stuff. Okay, boom. You can take anything for 30 seconds. you doing the cryo dunk? Yeah, I do that stuff. Okay, boom. You can take anything for 30 seconds. Right. You're a showbiz. But man, try holding that out in front of you for 15 seconds kind of a thing. Is that your suit? Yeah. Wow, look at that.

So there's some photos of it up. Yeah, because you never really do show your tattoos anywhere. No, it's not part of the show. It's not part of, but behind the scenes, my mom, who was an art teacher, the healing, happy side of my family came from my dad. I learned to box from mom. Really? Oh, yeah. side of my family came from my dad i learned a box from mom really oh yeah bad dave like my

sisters call it comes from sybil roth okay and if you if you had you competed for the magnet for the refrigerator okay and mom would be doing something and you'd come up with your new drawing and she'd say should I go get the magnet? And not look at it. Wow. And you would look and go, you're right. Stay here. Yes.

I'm not kidding. Harsh. Yeah. And then before you would look at it, go clean up your paint box. You see your brushes. Okay. Discipline in see your brushes. Okay. Discipline in the Roth family. Yes. And when I got my tuxedo, first thing mom said was, I really like the colors.

What do you do when you're outdoors playing ball? Okay. And that's part of what compels what we're doing here. I invented ink, the original, okay? And this is a whole series of things that didn't exist before. So products to protect your tattoo. Oh, yeah. I just, whenever I go anywhere outside, I spray down with sunscreen,

and people are like, why are you doing that? And I was like, because I don't want my tattoos to fade away. I have artwork on my body. You have a Rembrandt on your body. It's probably more expensive than the paint job on your car. Driving a Ranger series? Oh, for sure. I'm serious. And you won't think twice about it.

Right. Okay? Because it's forever. All right? It's forever. I'm 64. The doctor says 64 is the new 90 for me. And I'm believing him.

Take my word for it. I'm a little farther down range than a lot of you. I can tell you what I see from here. You look great. If you wait until you're 55 to start hitting the weight stack, you will look like a 55-year-old who trains three times a week. Right. If you start when you're two digits old, you'll fool them. You'll fool them.

Yeah. Okay. And that's kind of the fun. You just got to keep moving. Oh, yeah. You start way early. When did you start the tattoos? I got my first one in 1977.

All right. Came back from a delirious trip to the West Indies. And a handful of folks that were camping out on the beach. I'm a combat hippie. Okay. Peace, love, and heavy weapons. In case they don't want to feel the love. And camping commune style somewhere in the, it was in Martinique, the West Indies. And we all came back and got a seahorse on the ankle.

Oh, boy. How feminine. Yeah. And then from there, I waited. You know, most today what's popular, for example, Hispanic style, you use the badges, placas. You document something. Here's a name. Here's something we got when we went on spring break.

Here's something when we got married. And you build like a mural. And I waited to do the whole thing in one sweep, you know, thinking in terms of planning. So I waited until, you know know i was well past that i was celebrated my 60th birthday but i got about 300 hours in on it and uh i'm still outdoors i'm still bouncing around and there's nothing out there i've been climbing i started off at joshua tree and climbing out at tocketsett's in the 70s. Wasn't Alex Honnold just on the show here? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Well, same circuit from Camp 4 to Studio 54. I was in both. I was Flavor of the Week the first time when Studio 54 was the happeningest. Okay. At the same time, I had just bought a Winnebago that looked like something from uh breaking bad it's the same winnebago i saw it i used to own that that was for nothing but going to yosemite really you know how al in the documentary is is living in his van part of me always looks back

at that it's wow sleeping in the back of bobby hatch's pickup truck parked out in the middle of nowhere in joshua tree 1973 and you would be climbing even back then oh yeah what kind of equipment did you guys use back then the same stuff they use today no nothing like it we used webbing for our harnessing and you used uh 11 millimeter kern mantle or manila rope. All right? And I remember the first time was in 1972. You'll see his name, John Ball, pioneering a lot of the routes in Joshua Tree. First time we watched him as seniors in high school go flagging, you know, where you pressure.

Can you see this on the screen there, where you pull with your hands and push with your feet, go flagging all the way up the corner of a handball court at Muir High School in Pasadena, all the way up to the top and then stood on the top and looked down, showing incredible. Well, nine incredible talents. We'd never seen such a thing. And from that point, you know, we just floored it because living up in Yosemite in the various parts was something new. Traveling to Joshua Tree, Tockets, down to the beaches and such, that was a constant for me.

I've always tried to follow something as opposed to thinking of it as training. Even the word training tastes like homework. So I've always tried to – I was running for a long period of time. It was about seven years when I jogged and ran, and I decided on the road I'll run across every bridge in America that we toured through. So probably 15, 20 different bridges, Golden Gate, Brooklyn, that's where I ran. Now I did smoke a joint and run the New York City Marathon. And I came in right behind the wheelchairs in the back. Okay, well some folks need the ribbon and they need to see the clock and everybody clapping. And then there's some folks, you know, who just, you know, you did okay and they had

took down the clock, but the line was still there on the cement in Central Park, hopped over the line, got the picture airborne, went home, took a nap. And that night I went out and got drunk on tequila. How long did it take you to finish the marathon? About five and a half hours. That's not bad. That's very good. It's better than Burt Kreischer.

No, come on. Let's be complimentary. It's the worst. It's definitely not the worst. Yes, that's about the absolute worst. What's the winner do at hour 20? I think they get it in around two hours. Like two hours and seven seconds or so. I think they're trying to break two hours. Isn't that what's going on? Yeah, someone's trying in around two hours. Yeah, like two hours and seven seconds or so.

I think they're trying to break two hours. Isn't that what's going on? Yeah, someone's trying to break two hours. But that's what I did for a period of time. You know, keep going. Kayaking, you know. So you've just always been involved in physical activities that were fun. In the early 90s, kayaking was illegal in Manhattan.

Okay. activities that were fun in the early 90s kayaking was illegal in manhattan okay because it was dirty water and people would get trundled all over under the ferry boats oh god so what we did is we cut a hole in the fence next to the 14th street sanitation department over by the uh west side highway y'all know what i'm talking about if you're from there. And we did it exactly like movie style, like Great Escape, where we fitted the fence back with duct tape, and we would drag our kayaks from Union Square West all the way down 14th Street. Okay. And you pick up your provisions for it.

All right. You got to get your bagels. You got to get, you know, some of the foot, you know, like this. You got to get something to drink. You got to get shit on some of the foot like this. You got to get something to drink. Get some Gatorade. Not to drink the Gatorade, so you have something to whiz in. Serious. And we'd get the girlfriends to wait up.

It's in the meatpacking district right there. It's dead silent. It was a ghost town then. It was not hip-hop. It was not going, which is what it's doing now right you know you go to shopping with your old lady it's stella mccartney down there now it's a ghost town then it was great scary dangerous and one girlfriend which i gotta be careful of names they're all married now how'd you manage Mine, Karen, would always go north and wait around because if the cops come, they would step out.

We would see them or whatever. And we would sneak our boats through the hole in the fence into the river, right where Sully landed his plane. Right there. All right. And then girls would come in, jump in a boat, and we would take off. More than two or three times, local PD would show up going, hey, what are you going to touch that water? Back then, no.

That was death. Inky black horror death. Did you ever dunk in it accidentally? No. Not in that river in particular. But we started a number of the trips today. There's probably six different kayak clubs that you can go. Manhattan Kayak Club and Brooklyn Kayak.

Many, many. Now the boomers with senses of humor figured it all out. All right. And we would go. Jesus, we started trips. We'd go at midnight under the Verrazano Bridge in the winter. All right. And we would go. Jesus, we started trips. We'd go at midnight under the Verrazano Bridge in the winter. All right. And you wear dry suits, something, you know, your long johns inside of a dry suit like this.

And don't get me wrong. I would be the DJ. I have a tape player, and I would bungee tape player like this. And everybody would have this is primitive times you know it's 19 early 90s you know like this and we would have uh the little microphones and the earpieces that you use on motorcycles back then so you have communications from boat to boat oh wow and i would put mine on the tape player and i'd be the dj oh yeah and we'd listen to the ball game late at night sometimes you know and you'd be the DJ. Oh, yeah. And we'd listen to the ball game

late at night sometimes. And you'd hear laughing all, you couldn't see anybody in the swells. And we'd go under the same bridge that John Travolta sits and looks at with the girlfriend in Saturday Night Fever. Same bridge, you know, that Woody Allen in Manhattan looks at.

You know, you ever wonder what's on the other side? That's a terrible imitation of either of them. And we'd float under there, full moon, midnight, February, snow drifting like this. And since it was illegal to do it, we had a buddy who owned a plumbing company in Brooklyn. And he would bring his truck and park it right off of Coney Island near Stilwell Avenue where the Ferris wheel is. And he would blink his lights, Allied Forces style. Blink, blink. Like that.

And we'd be about a quarter mile off, having come from under the Verrazano Bridge. No wonder we'd see those lights blink, nowhere to turn left. And we'd start to go. Do you even want to hear this? Yes. And, okay, we'd have to make the left left and we'd wait for the swells like he'd give us another blink when all was clear and just beat ass all that quarter mile of row row row catch the wave get out of the boat and you know silently drag it all the way up the beach okay

like you see in every war movie all right right? Otherwise, it's about, I don't know, $200 fine or something like this. And we would put the boats, big two-person kayaks, into the back of the plumbing truck and onto the top of it. Drive it back to the coffee shop on Union Square West. It's very well known like that. And get drunk with pretty girls and tell them about adventure stories. And all this was going on while you were, you were air quotes, David Lee Roth. I mean,

this is the nineties. You're a fucking huge, you're still a rock star and you're going through polluted water in a fucking kayak hiding from the cops with a tape player and a, and a, some sort of jury rigged microphone system. Some of the best places that I went rock climbing, uh, we're on walls of hotels in Europe.

We'd toss a rope out the third floor of a bed and breakfast in San Sebastian, Spain that's covered from flagstone with flagstone from the 1400s like that. And then yo-yo, you know, one guy would stay up watch tv and work the belay and you climb up the outside you know jesus christ hardcore jollies and you were doing this all around the same time oh yeah i take my bicycles with me i'm gonna it's outdoors is in the blood you know it's part of growing up without any real things my dad was a student. So take this stick. For you, it'll be a bow. For me, it'll be a baton.

When did you start working as an EMT? That was around the same time, wasn't it? EMT was about 12 summers ago for me. I was turning 50. summers ago for me so i was turning 50 and i started going back to school for outdoor med response camping climbing and what is it like when you go to one of those classes and they realize who you are how weird is the kid oh sometimes it can get a little bit uh uptight because i'm the oldest guy in the room okay and i want to clarify something okay when i became an emt shield number 327 466 47th precinct big shout out to all of you who taught me and tolerated me

until i became an emt and put on that uniform i wasn't somebody somebody cleaned the fucking truck up. Until I put on that uniform, Joe, after training for how many months? It's almost a year for me like this. I wasn't someone. Someone clean up the truck. And that was my job. Starting right off. But I was also the somebody who dragged the oxygen box off 13 floors up in the Edenwald projects.

Artist to artist. How many times have you driven past something? Whether it's a huge building or a teepee. I wonder what's in there. And then you go, I wonder what's in the refrigerator. I wonder what they listen to in there. And I wonder who the they are. I have a fascination for that.

My pop had a big sprawling, I think, is it sympathy? Empathy for people. You know, when the fellas started getting AIDS in the early 80s, he started treating them. He's an eye surgeon. And everybody, my sisters and stuff, started saying, but this is a time when you think you can catch that shit from breathing it, pop and whatever. And he turned to me, I'll never forget. He said, I don't get to choose my patients. Well, I don't get to choose my audience. So what was the motivation to start doing that though let's go see what's in the refrigerator joe and you'll walk in first because you're way stronger than me in case there's trouble

and you'll go ambulance and in case somebody comes at us you handle it oh i had a i had a mentor named keisha who had to pile her dreadlocks up so high that it was as long as from her shoulders to the top of her head her haircut it was like she had to she put her hat up on top and keisha walked in that door first homie domestic disputes she dealt with the guys you had to be there for domestic oh yeah those are the scariest very and you get an eye on your audience stops being audience starts being the neighborhood yeah and pretty soon you live in the neighborhood i was under the train once in the Fulton Street Station talking to a homeless fella. Quick briefing,

act like nothing's wrong. See if you can get him to come out. Hey, you hungry? Train breathes, okay? Subway train breathes. It doesn't just sit there silently. It does this. And you gotta go grilled cheese i'm laughing now but that's a nervous laugh yeah and now every one of those folks is in my voice

when i sing oh i like that i like that process. When you decided to do this, was this a conscious effort to try to just enrich your experiences? Cross-training. Cross-training. I'll give it the quick rationale. And I also know it's going to change me. Don't know how, but you got to get in it. And after a certain point in your life maybe uh go where there is no shallow land challenge yourself as just as i move somewhere that's a foreign language you can't

even read the street signs uh in japan for example um but you know you start off on the bunny slopes you don't surf 40 footers right away. At first, you got to move to New York and go through that whole thing of what have I done. So what's the thought process when you're like, I'm going to be an EMT. I'm going to study for a year. I'm going to train. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to actually do it. I, okay, sometimes when I go for a walk in the city, my plan is to just follow where the sun is beaming.

I get to an intersection, the sun is on that far corner. I'll cross over to that and then I'll look down the block and see where the sun is and I'll walk down the block and get into that part of the sun. And you do a lot of this by yourself. Oh, yeah. I did the same thing with EMT training. I did the same thing with EMT training. Jeez, my dad was a doctor. The first merit badge I got as a Boy Scout was first aid.

I was that guy. And I learned that for a skinny guy like me, real power probably came from being cool when everybody else is going, ah, ah. Yeah, because my dad had to do that. Right. I assisted him in surgeries at a very early age. Did you really? Oh, yeah. And, you know, when stuff that made everybody else like this popped up. I have a good ambulance voice.

You want to hear it? Let me do that. Okay. You're going to be just fine. Can you imagine, though, being in an ambulance, you look up, and it's motherfucking David Lee Roth telling you you're going to be okay. You'd be like, oh, I'm dead. I must be dead. Only twice has that actually happened because I only worked in the hood.

I only worked around at night. I only worked, you know, you would never expect to see me. Once was after Ozzfest. Oh, Jesus. The local football stadium. Yeah, yeah. to see me once was after oz fest oh jesus football stadium yeah yeah some poor kid was uh you know drank too much or whatever and he was out of sorts and you know sitting on the corner somebody phoned him in from the local liquor store and uh you could see the disbelief in his face you know and i leaned over yeah and said to him you're gonna be just fine like this it is like the lyrics of an ozzy song come to life yeah i am iron man so you know

but beyond that no nobody ever really did and uh you know jesus i weighed 15 more pounds i was doing the arnold routine at the weight stack because I was somebody. Will somebody help me lift this? My forte, I'm not pretentious about what my fortes were. So you bulked up for the job? Oh, yeah. And I weighed 15 more pounds. And I lifted, man.

I lifted people out of bathtubs. I lifted them out of the ocean. I lifted, man. I could lift. I lifted people out of bathtubs. I lifted them out of the ocean. I lifted them out of the projects. I lifted them out of the truck. I lifted them into the other truck because the first truck just broke down in the snow. How long did you do this for? Sorry?

How long did you do this for? I resorted once about four and a half summers, four and a half years. Wow. Okay. And in between playing and whatever. And again, a big shout out to all my teachers and mentors. Not a day goes by I don't think about it. And not a day goes by that I don't use some skill, including that, you know, that'll level your head a little bit. Yeah.

Somebody go make some coffee, Joe. So you feel like for a guy like you, who was such a gigantic superstar, and you're just touring these huge arenas, and people are freaking out every time they see you, for you it was maybe a good way to balance things out, too, because you're seeing people in a life or death situation and dire straits when they're unhealthy and they need help and and you're out there in the down and dirty and the nitty-gritty like you know like you said trucks breaking down picking people up

out of the bathtubs well a lot of what you just described is the first response team. Yes. We always describe our patients, our friends and clients. Okay. But the struggle for our, I'll call it the uniform, starts with military, police, fire, first response. I'll throw in nursing, emergency room, and those of us with bells and whistles. Did you call the ambulance? Et cetera. You see that from the inside out. Yeah.

And that really will sharpen your vision. Okay? For example, right off the bat, I pay 52% in taxes. Just tear my dollar in half. Have for many, many years. I'm all for tripling. Police, fire, medical, paramedic, emergency nursing, et cetera, like that. Starting pay should be about $2,500 a week and on up. I agree with you. I would pay more tax happily. I would too. If that case would be, and we would take what is a very set of very refined sciences and art forms, everything I just described. I call it the uniform because we put on a uniform when we go to work in there like that.

It's time to go digital. And you can start making real demands in terms of just the preparation you follow today being on the beat taking care of people whether you're in first response medical or answering fire calls is on par these days. You have to make the decisions of a SEAL teamer. Where's the same training? Where's the same gear? I went to, I was out in Palm Springs at the International School for Tactical Medicine out there. And the fellas, we had game wardens from Alaska. We had heavy rescue from Cleveland.

We had all manner of folks coming through there. And they all discussed, well, sometimes we have to share one helmet what sometimes we don't have enough guys to do this and that so we just park the car and let them think there's something these kinds of stories you follow and you start uh paying people what they're worth and start paying people according to what your expectations then a lot of things i don't go political to the nonsense like charlottesville and what's happening in a lot of areas around these states we'll go by the wayside you move from no qualifications necessary to hey man you guys work just as hard and you endanger yourselves way more than a trial attorney.

I personally got out of jury duty recently by saying I didn't want to get out of jury duty. In fact, I raised my hand when the judge says, anybody here think they can do jury duty? You're all trying to get out of it. And I raised my hand. And she said, why? I said, because I now can see that there are neighborhoods where everybody is. I know of neighborhoods where everybody's a liar, a cheat, a cripple. And if they're not, they're covering for somebody.

And she said, what neighborhood is that? I said, the legal community in Beverly Hills. The bailiff almost dropped his gun. Everybody was laughing. They dismissed me. Too opinionated. Mr. Roth, you've had too much life experience. Don't let the door hit in the ass on the way out.

Yep. Have you ever done jury duty? No, I have not. If I did get in there, I'd probably just tell them I think everyone's guilty. Well, you have cop's eyes. It's when you walk into the room and you know everybody's lying. Not really. I mean, I probably should do it soon.

Probably be a good experience for me. Do they ask you to do it? I'm sure it's happened. I keep showing up. The last time I actually showed up, a fella, I think it was a driver, it was two guys who were being accused of shooting somebody, walks up, he's, I don't know, he looks faintly Slavic. If you grew up with James Bond movies, everybody.

We know who you are. You are very popular in the process. Kind of a thing Where are you playing next? You're in Pasadena at the ice house Yeah, to the ice house all the time Yeah, constantly there Do you have a vibe about the ice house?

Is there a mojo to it? Oh yeah Please explain It's the oldest comedy club in the known universe That place has been in operation since the 1960s. It was originally an actual ice house where back before there was refrigeration, they would bring in ice and people would go to buy ice. They'd have a gigantic freezer-type room.

It was insulated, so it would keep the ice for a long time. Then it became like a variety-type place. And then somewhere in the 60s, it became a comedy club. And it is now the oldest, longest running comedy club in the world. 1973, I was working as a janitor slash tech in surgery at a hospital in Pasadena. So it was a night shift. Wow. In the early 70s, we did everything. it was the stepping stone to going to medical school and i was playing acoustic guitar okay i still take

lessons playing acoustic guitar okay and on sunday night's audition night you would sign up for audition at the ice house at 6 30 they'd open the window and you would sign up for audition at the Ice House. At 6.30, they'd open the window and you would sign up. So I'd take my dinner break and drive my Opal Cadet station wagon up to the Ice House, get there at about 6.15, wait. They'd pop the window, sign up so that I would be one of the first three to audition after the last act on sunday night which would happen right around 10 o'clock if you weren't one of the first three during audition night nobody was there and they shut it down and i would sign up and go back to work and then come you know drive myself back change out of my hospital stuff, you know, put on the right clothes, put on my jeans, whatever.

And I auditioned there probably 15 times. Wow. Bob Stain, who owned and ran the place, was just a voice over the intercom. He was unforgiving. Bob was a famous non-smiler. What's funny is there's a bob that owns it now bob fisher couldn't be more different nicest guy on the planet earth always smiling hugging everybody super sweetheart of a guy okay yeah well bob stain was a voice over the intercom he was hardcore you know if you go well here's a little song and

the voice would say hopefully it's littler than the one preceding it yeah and you worked your chops according to bob he was your he was your ike turner oh boy yeah he was unforgiving. And you learned quick about timing, in between, transition, segue. You were allowed to do three songs. And if he felt your song was too long or your riff in between, he called you out. If you didn't like your shoes, he talked about it. You never saw him. You heard it over the PA.

Oh, wow. He was in the back. It was quite a ritual. And I learned a tremendous amount about how you communicate with a crowd. How do you talk to people as one? How do you make eye contact? What, in fact, are the wrong shoes? What are the wrong shoes?

Platforms. Oh, yeah. Back in the day, they wore platforms. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did that ever happen? Okay. Platforms.

That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did that ever happen? Okay, David Lee Bowie will be singing us hopefully a shorter song than the last one he sang last Sunday. Are you the same David Lee Bowie? You would hear this over the PA system. When Kiss performs today, do they still wear platforms? I think it's in the contract, Joe. It's part of the outfit.

McEnroe has to yell, you gotta be fucking kidding. Come on. Like, for Kiss, I never thought of that. Like, they might be the last band that's wearing platforms. Until, well, everybody likes to make fun of platforms, bell bottoms, sideburns. Until they come back around. Oh, there was something there, Sarge. I don't know about platforms on guys, but on the right girl.

Yeah, on the right girl it works. Oh, look, see, look how you leapt ahead. Yeah, I'm fine with high heels. I like them. Right? Girls in platforms, you know, on the right, like, oh, wow, that suggests different time frames. Yes. That's the 20s, that's the 30s, that could be the 70s, you know.

There's something about those kiss ones though that was like they're inexorable right they're a part of the gig like with gene simmons he's got demon boots look at that they're still rocking them look at that those are new and improved costumes yeah those are digital they're definitely new and improved uh i like the boots i like it man that has got to be fucking hell on your knees, though. That's got to be hell on your lower back. Everything. Yeah, all of the above. I'm going to leap ahead.

But look, Stanley's still in shape. Yeah. Oh, he looks great. He was here a couple years ago. You know, this is where I failed. I should have gone kiss Blue Man Group years ago. To those of you who are my age, Lassie. There should be four of me.

Oh, that's the move, right? Because, yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know? Right. No one can tell. Right? That's the thing.

You can replace a lot of those guys. And if you didn't tell anybody, and if someone's... Have you ever heard the Japanese gentleman that's... He does a Steve Perry impression. He's the new lead singer for Journey. Oh, he's... I think he's from Philippines. Oh, is he? He's for Journey. Oh, I think he's from Philippines. Oh, is he? He's from Philippines.

Oh, so he's Japanese. Either way. Fucking phenomenal. Yeah. The guy sounds exactly like Steve Perry. All right. Well, this solicits an interesting subject, perhaps. Compels it.

Are some bands like West Side Story, where you can continually revitalize the production. Right, with different actors. With different actors, okay? A whole lot of Shakespeare going on. Yeah. Okay? But you have to kind of replicate the initial sound, or do you? Because I'm sure all of Beethoven's early orchestras are dead.

Let me speak to this, because I don't think you can say this because this was a part of my youth. Van Halen was a part of my youth. I mean, we used to drew the Van Halen logo on our notebooks

in high school along with the Rolling Stones like the mouth and you know, all the KISS logo. When it switched over to Sammy Hagar, it became a different thing.

It was a different thing. It was a different thing. It was a whole different pivot. I mean, it wasn't a bad thing. No, no. But it was a different thing. All of Sam's lyrics contain love. Yes. Okay?

Why can't this be love? And I ain't talking about love. We'll be right back with more fighting after this. Yeah. Come on. Who do I jog with? I don't. I on. Who do I jog with? I don't. I run.

Who's my running partner? Yeah, running with the devil. Hello. Okay, you want to keep going? Yeah, keep going. Okay, should I jump? Should I jump? Jump.

Might as well jump. Thank you. See ya. Yeah, I mean, come on. You know, it's questions and love are a great uh classically that's sinatra yeah okay um but i'm i'm not well adjusted nobody in my job ever was much less kept it this long and i faced it embraced it like brazilian storm yeah you follow put a choke oh no it's all right there in the lyrics yeah even using what are considered classic music parlor tricks taking a very sad lyric and

positioning it against a very happy piece of music the music is romping it's it's it's uh heavy metal rumba. And the lyric is, she's crying. Yeah. Jamie's crying. You didn't notice that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a sense of larceny. There's chaos to it. In the lyric. There's a sense of, it's music for after midnight when we're all guilty, Joe. Whereas, again, nothing wrong with the Sammy Hagar thing. of it's music for after midnight when we're all guilty, Joe. Yeah. Whereas, again, nothing wrong with the Sammy Hagar thing, but it moved into a mall crowd. It was a different sort of a vibe.

It was a good vibe for a lot of folks, but it was a different vibe. I mean, I don't have anything against Sammy Hagar. I think he's wonderful. I always loved that song, Can't Drive 55. He's got some great shit, but I never listened to the Van Halen with Van hagar i just didn't listen to it to me it was like it was the end of an era for me it's two different folks yes i wanted to be the art project

not just wear one yeah so by placing everything we've discussed if you think of it as cross training that's a great rationale yeah why'd you do that and then if you think of it as cross-training that's a great rationale yeah why'd you do that and then you did this why it's cross-training it's going to re-inform your sound it's going to re-inform the way you your stagecraft how you even walk out on stage your choice of what to wear yeah you follow and your sense of humor especially well that's a great way to look at what you were talking about with the West Side Story analogy, because it kind of went on, but it kind of didn't. It's like if you took West Side Story and then you changed the story.

You can't change the story, but you can change the voices. Yeah, but it would be a different story. Like the Van Halen story became a different story. All right, here, i'll venture this okay uh one of my favorite freeze-dried bands in history is toto why freeze-dried well all freeze-dried coffee looks the same and it's great okay i've been camping and man there's nothing better than just a cup of fresh freeze-dried good in the dried in the wrongest places.

That's fun. Some context, it's the best thing you could ever have. That Africa song is a good song. It's an amazing song. It's an amazing song. No, that's Smithsonian level. Yes. Song.

Yes. Okay, Rosanna and so forth. Oh, yeah, Rosanna. Toto's amazing. Any of the fellas could walk up to me and I wouldn't recognize them. No. You know why I said it? I would not recognize them.

You know what I would say is the greatest genius in all of music in that regard? Steve Miller. Nobody knows who the fuck Steve Miller is. Steve Miller's a good one. Yeah, but I mean, he had some jamming songs. Everybody knows those songs. If you even start to play,

and everybody goes, getting ready to sing. Do-do-do-do-do. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do. And everybody goes, getting ready to sing. Yeah. Jungle Love. I mean, God damn, he had some jams. That guy could go anywhere. And then there are artists where you just can't replace it. Rod Stewart. Right.

Arguably one of the best vocals in history of any genre. Yes. All together. Oh, yeah. That's a no-weight division thing. And yeah, one of the all-time greats the ali is probably rod stewart yeah okay um his songs you can have other people sing them but it becomes something other now journey i would recognize the guitar player but

that's just because i listen to that kind that part of the band. My favorite part of the orchestra is the gong. I just want to clarify that. But Steve Perry, who sang for Journey, was not so much a personality as an eloquent sound. Yes. All right? So it's a universal sound, and if you even get close to it, it is part of every prom, every wedding, every going in and coming out party.

Okay? If you're going into the Army, that's the last song the band's going to play. You're coming out of jail. Your girlfriend's going to play it. You throw your bag to the side and run. You've seen the movie. Yes. Okay. Even Tony Soprano. We're not sure what happened, but it happened to play. You throw your bag to the side and run. You've seen the movie. Yes.

Okay. Even Tony Soprano, we're not sure what happened, but it happened to Journey. Yes. True. That's right. Right. Okay. That's very significant. You can't play a David Lee Roth song and still worry about Tony Soprano.

That's true. Half of your mind is going to go a minute the lone ranger just walked into the same diner that tony is it's that's why i have no acting career i'm already a character lone ranger sits down next to you says joe there's a forest it's a dark forest and you're not getting lost in any story you're sitting here like you're going that's the fucking lone ranger right right right right a good actor will sit down and go a dark forest and you're fucking scared right right right some people can become that other person oh yeah and then some people are stuck being david lee ross exactly you know denzel walks out and then it's space you go wow that's an astronaut he could be anything even though you know he's denzel And then some people are stuck being David Lee Roth forever. Exactly. You know, Denzel walks out in a spacesuit.

You go, wow, that's an astronaut. He could be anything. Exactly. Even though you know he's Denzel Washington. You're right. Think of that. Right. Dave Roth comes in and goes, what's Dave doing in a spacesuit?

Right. Exactly. Yeah. We're not buying it. Yeah. I'm already kind of a cultural whatever. Yeah, you're already a thing. You're already a thing. that's that's uh that's really interesting how there's all these great bands with great sounds and great vibes and

they're all different well if you think in terms of the personality let's think of a band oh i just saw john mayer great show all right and when you think of john you think of who that is in the neighborhood and the vibe and the mood before perhaps you even think of a specific song okay um as soon as you know well i know his hits i know his songs but it was the same thing that the fellas in the grateful dead who said they're identifying that vibe it's what's more important the jokes or the person what's more important you or specific jokes because some of your jokes are bound to go flat i don't care it's joe yeah but some of the jokes the only way they some of them the only way they work is with you like there's some people like mitch hedberg is a perfect example like you couldn't

separate mitch hedberg from the jokes because he was the jokes he was part of what made it funny you're right i ran into jeffrey ross the other day okay and he did mike bumps in a telling yeah who's managing them that's a movie happening those two right that's that's math al lemon fortune cookie yes okay that's only a billion dollar fucking franchise is bernie brilstein still alive get after this i don't think bernie's a lot you guys need an agent no it's stellar yes it is it is they were walking around in the park doing warm-up for their routine, you know, and the Netflix special. And I'm going, I expect a clapboard Woody Allen to walk out and go, I think that's a take. I think, though, that with guys like that, especially those two guys, the best product is them on stage.

Yes. And them fucking around. You really don't want to make a movie. You just want to keep doing what they're doing with Netflix. Well, this is the vibe. You have them be. them fucking around. You really don't want to make a movie. You just want to keep doing what they're doing with Netflix. Well, this is the vibe. You have them be. There are some folks like Jason Stratham.

Yeah. He's always the same. He's always the same haircut. Yeah. He's always Jason. Yes. Right? But it's Jason

in a different time period. Right. Jason in a fast car. Jason on a horse. I don't know. Right. But he's always that. and this is what compels me some folks are very joke dependent

now take my wife please that kind of thing yourself is the audience that you see when it's like at the comedy club I've seen you at the comedy club um it's the same audience as fight night no sometimes yeah yeah it's real similar in a weird way how's weird i

see the i see uh george michael eyebrows because i'm always trying to figure it out um yeah there's they're real similar you know it's a's a weird crossover. But what makes it weird? Well, it's weird that I do cage fighting commentary and stand-up comedy in the first place. It's weird that those two things work together. Oh, that doesn't, that doesn't, no, that makes perfect sense. For you. No, no, no. For you, but you're a weirdo.

I just shared with somebody, I'm funny, not happy. Yes. You're funny, you ain't happy. Interesting. There's a big difference. And the more unhappy you are, the better the funny. You ain't happy. Interesting. There's a big difference. And the more unhappy you are, the better the funny. Really? You think so?

Absolutely. Really? If you know how to channel it. Well, that's certainly the case in some situations. I'm open to all possibilities when it comes to comedy. I know people that are really happy and really funny, and I know people that are really dark and also really funny. Like, I don't know.

It's just, it's different. It's different with different people, just like music is different with different bands and different singers. It's just, it either works or it doesn't. It really depends upon how much time and effort you take working on yourself, your act, your perspective, the way you deliver it. We always had to win. In Van Halen, we had no choice. We had to win in van halen we had no choice

we had to win the battle of the bands it was competitive yeah we had to win over the club owner this was before there were dance systems sir when vega hadn't in hadn't figured out those bass bins yet you had to have a live band 5 45 minutes sets a night what was your motherfucker closer song where you knew a band couldn't go on after you? Lagrange. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were pretty good at anything.

We had no development phase. I have tapes of us at the Hilton Hotel in Pasadena in 1973. If I didn't tell you, you would think it was three years ago wow kind of a sound there's virtually no development how'd that happen how did it work that way we had classical training all right and this kind of speaks to what we were discussing earlier in that a lot of my colleagues are having a great time making music and they celebrate. And it's, the word fun comes into it. And we grew up in classical music backgrounds where you had to challenge for first chair saxophone.

Every six, eight months, you got to go to the conductor and say, I want first chair. And if you're first chair and he thinks I have a shot, he's going to come over and enjoy it. He says, Roth's talking about you. You both going to play this and enjoy it. He says, Roth's talking about you. Ooh. You both are going to play this piece in front of the orchestra next Wednesday.

You best practice. Ah. Okay? And we'll both get up and we'll both play 18 bars of the same piece. You dig? Yeah. And there just may be a switch in front of 120 people, all of them colleagues. We learned from music school, the racy stuff was big band.

We played rock and roll in parallel. But big band, it's got a square vibe to it because it wound up in elevators and restaurants and whatever. It's got a square vibe to it because it wound up in elevators and restaurants and whatever. But they had cutting contests, and there was nothing more cutting than Benny Goodman versus Chick-Web Big Band at Roseland Ballroom. That shit is on. People would bet on it. They would play the same four songs. You play your version of it, and we'll play ours. Wow.

Yeah. All right. Wow. A throwdown. A big band throwdown. Oh, yeah. And it was furious shit, too. You know, it wasn't like friendly.

Right, right, right. They were serious. And the dancers would stand in the middle of those sparks. And that's where you get that. Yeah. These postures. That stuff. Like this. Okay. and the dancers were competing the

lindy hoppers could be wow frankie you know all these guys throwing um so it's competitive and we learned that's how you do it you know my two mentors in um were first and second chair clarinet, the L.A. Philharmonic. And it comes from that. Also, you know, you have a whole different vibe that I'll take a grateful dad approach, which is the complete opposite of that. Competition, man, leave that at home, bro. Yeah. Well, we're here to celebrate and so on. And I completely understand.

That's where I'll go after work. Right. Take my vest off. Put my guns down. They took a totally different turn, right? They said, go ahead, tape all of our shows. Sell food in the parking lot man we had to Win we or we didn't eat boxing for money

It's different than boxing for fun right Right learn that very early and we Learned it through music yeah you know Some of the folks learn it in the ring Other folks learn it in their first few Days in a law firm or can they join a team? It's interesting the way you describe it with music, because I try to explain that to comedians. I say, think about how much time a musician has to spend practicing and how little we spend practicing.

Our practice is in front of the audience for the most part. It's a simplified version of the 10,000-hour rule. You've heard about this. That's a very simplified version. Okay, that's digestible. 10,000 hours, I don't know. You break that down. Does that take six years, maybe?

Something like this. The true Asian paradigm is 10 hours a day, every single day for 10 years. If you have a little kid and he's got to have heart surgery, you want that guy. Right. It's right around 30,000 hours. If you're going to go flying in a helicopter over New York City, you want Captain Pauli Tramontana. It's about 40,000 hours. Okay. My dentist, Dr. Glassman, who teaches, is a 40,000 hour man. Okay. So if you ever crash or get pelted, give me a call. Okay.

So if you ever crash or get pelted, give me a call. I will hook you up. All right. It's about 30,000 hours. And that's 10 hours a day, every single day for 10 years. And that's what creates a jet pilot, a great surgeon, a great writer. Yeah. Anything in the arts and letters. That's the architect.

Unless you're a prodigy. And if you bungle that in typing, it's tragedy very easily. Yeah, prodigies and tragedies often go hand in hand. There's something about people that get things very easily that for whatever reason it slips through their fingers more quickly as well when my sister my dad was an eye surgeon okay did well and uh when my sisters uh wanted to go to college he said i think that's a great idea and made her pay for it oh yeah she wouldn't value it if she didn't pay for it herself. That's probably right. I signed my first contract when I was 13. $150 stereo and three records.

I worked all summer shoveling shit at the local horse stable. That's where I learned Spanish. I don't know that you got to do that. You learn the same thing from sports, right? Yeah do sports yeah which ones um martial arts and uh one of them's really into gymnastics yeah yeah are they competitive in it or are they do they enjoy themselves are they on team like they're on turn our tournaments or yeah and is that something that the get oh here i'll back up i'm leading up to something can you guess yeah i can i think you always are folks folks are uh starting to recognize certain traits in me as in i really like the getting ready more than the actual show

really the actual show i Really? The actual show, I'm making fun here, I'm being poetic, but the monitor blows, the guitar player's pissed, the spotlight's on the wrong guy, I have a cold, but that six weeks leading up to it,

I remember the rehearsal, we did everything, and when we recorded the track, remember when we got measured for the shoes, fucking oh that was great and it's where did we eat after that i gotta go back there and and and and and yeah i always sought to make those rehearsals and whatever as memorable as possible because you can do a whole lot more of getting ready than you are throwing the punch yeah Ask anybody on one of your shows. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. You have such a great insight for that, though. You know, some people, even if they're aware of it, they're not consciously aware of it. They're not focusing on all these details. The getting ready is as much of a... If the band says they don't like rehearsing, you're doing it wrong.

Hey, man, it's like if you're sitting on your laurels, you're wearing them on the wrong part of your body. First off, where are you rehearsing? As in Miami? No. Where are you training? Hawaii? Cleveland. Okay, let's talk.

Because even in Cleveland, you can turn it into your place. Do you follow? What is your routine? What music did you listen to? Do you dig? How did you warm up? Simple, simple things. Most people are feared, terrified of singing when they go into singing album.

I don't care who it is. The first verse is always a little tight and the second verse is a little better. Why? Because they didn't warm up. All right? And the idea of, well, go in and sing along with a dozen of your favorite songs. Put your headgear on.

Get the reverb to sound. Now, for me, that starts with Motown. I'm a soul growler. I'm closer to Wilson Pickett than the guy in the Rolling Stones. Thousands love, baby! I don't know what that sounds like on the headphones. I'm going to put the headphones on here. Go ahead.

There we go. That's love, baby! Yeah, that's right. I started sounding like that when I was 12. I started practicing that when I was 12. I started practicing that when I was 12. I started imitating the persuasions. Jerry Butler, the singer, when I was 13, much to the cantor's chagrin in Hebrew school, okay? Again, parallel existences, you know? I'm Jewish, but we always walked around with little buttons back then

that said never again i'm a combat hippie peace love and heavy weapons some people don't believe sometimes you got to get insistent did you ever realize while you were while you were in the middle of this especially in the beginning, the early days, that this was, I mean, you guys had, especially with Van Halen in the early days, you guys had a massive impact on culture. Were you guys aware of that?

Like, while it was happening? I mean, when I was in high school, I graduated in 1985, and you guys were the shit. My girlfriend, my sister's, rather, the shit. My sister's boyfriend's license plate was Van Halen. I'm the soundtrack to your, okay, I get this now. Absolutely. I mean, what was that? It was intentional, Joe.

It was intentional. I can tell you now. The Van Halens knew it but can't articulate it. All right, they're instrumentalists. Here comes the funny joke. Words am my thing. Right? If you understood the phrase. Words am my thing.

So you realized it while it was happening. Well, your end game depends on how you started. It's like chess. Right. And we began very early on identifying that there's a whole lot of different neighborhoods in Southern California. I knew this from being with my dad. All of his patients was like a Benetton ad. Yeah.

You know, that's part of the beauty of Pasadena. You got everybody. Okay. And, okay, what you play at the birthday party in the Spanish-speaking neighborhood, Orale, Santana, you got to change your evil ways, broken. Yeah, it's different than what we're going to play for the surfers out at Venice Beach. That's Aerosmith stuff. You know, and do like this.

And then you have the working man, okay, out in San Bernardino. And that's ZZ Top. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-do-do-do-do-do. Subtle but important. Genius is in the details. And how you interact with that crowd in between. We would play out in Pomona at a biker bar. Guy got killed right in front of us.

And we finished the song. What happened? A couple of bike gangs went at it. And there was a scrap. And when everybody cleared out, there was a fella right in the middle of the floor. Next night, we came back. Vengeance had been sworn. There were police everywhere.

We pulled the amps out from the wall so we could hide behind the amps. 70s, it was a mighty time. And we played on the Queen Elizabeth for really fancy. Oh, my God. I remember sitting in that ballroom at 4 in the morning in the days when we carried our own equipment and stuff and thinking of all the people who'd been in there and everybody who'd performed there and so forth. And dozens and dozens of places, you know, that were all a little bit different. And our thing was that we could play anywhere. We had to. Otherwise, we had to feed ourselves, all right?

And that meant five 45-minute sets a night, five, six nights if you could get it. And we would ping pong all over the Southland. Anywhere we could drive for two hours. Two hours north, south, or east is how we would do. And every neighborhood was a little different. And that shows up in the music you know now you can take a look at something like dance a night away or jamie's crying there's a there's a latino influence in that okay that's ricky ricardo

people say well what's your favorite cuban expecting me to name a cigar? I say, Ricky Ricardo. It's rumba. Rumba. Now, you're thinking about it. You go, yeah, you ain't kidding. And if you listen to Dance the Night Away, the middle break is all cha-cha, chachki and stuff like that. Because this is you know you're surrounded by hispanic culture here and we had heavy metal influences okay we had uh super wealthy stuff so you have to be able to move to acoustic you got to be able to ease up if you get hired for a wedding and more importantly

perhaps you know artist to artist i don't know springsteen better during the song or in between careful we're going to the broadway show yeah yeah that's about a $12,000 ticket now. And I'm guessing, before T-shirt, and I'm guessing that I haven't seen the whole show. I've saw some of it on Netflix. And the very pivot of it is the in-between songs. Yeah. The songs are almost secondary. They're almost peripheral to his narration and his descriptions and his poetry. Well, he's such a deep guy.

Like, you have to hear the in-between stuff. You want to hear him brood. You want to hear him talk. You want to hear him think about things. Yes. And where do you learn that? Where do you learn that? The road.

Get ready. I'm going to count to 30,000, Joe. Hours and hours and hours. And when we're done, you'll be able to, you know, Joe, that's not a good Springsteen. You're a good man, Joe. What I was trying to get at was, does it ever freak you out? Like when you're ever alone and you think about what you guys did and what you've done in your career, does it ever freak you out? The impact that you've had.

If you looked at the amount of human beings that have had the kind of impact that you've had, it's the tiniest, tiniest fraction of a percent, like the amount of human beings that can relate to your personal life experiences. I'll paraphrase the James Brown movie. There's two of them. Both of them were helpfully produced by Jagger. Okay. And he does an interview. He goes, there's a of them both of them were helpful helpfully produced by jagger okay and uh he does an interview he goes there's a little bit of me in every record you hear

yeah he's in the dna yeah there's a little bit of david leroth in there yeah there's a little bit whenever you see videos today doesn't matter if it's hip-hop doesn't matter if it's rock and roll doesn't matter if it's classic or pitbull you dig there's a lid you can trace it back you follow right and it's not uh i don't think of it as impact that's a result what's the verb contribution yeah at family reunions whatever we go around everybody picks a word and uh my favorite word ever was contribution did you try you know go climb the tree here's my favorite poem i saw it inscribed on a rock by an anonymous poet at the base Just sort of base camp on Everest Go Climb the treasure mountain Do not return empty handed

Where are you now? Mmm Ooh Ooh Ooh yeah That's some GPS shit What's interesting about music That's different than anything else too

Is it brings you back to the moment Where you heard it Or when it was significant to you or where you know like if i hear dance the night away if i'm in my car and dance the night away comes on it's just like god you get goosebumps you just you have this feeling you feel like you're back in newton massachusetts in high school my favorite audience is disbelieving non-believers non-smilers give me a room of room of North Koreans who hate everything about the trip, starting with the airport.

Get this, like this. Why are those going to stay? They hate rock and roll. You give me two choruses. First, we're going to drive away the evil spirits. We might use a little volume to do that, Joe. We might use a little of this. Here we go.

Drive away the evil spirits, and then I'm going to make you feel young and skinny. How much is that worth? It's worth a lot. Inestimable. Inestimable. Yeah, that's the thing about music that's different than anything else.

It really does change your mood. It elevates you. Well, it can do that. It gives you juice. It's also we have like a big glass bowl of you, your whole history. And movies don't do that. Books will.

If you used a paperback and you open it up and the pages are still dried from the vacation sun, you know, you were reading it at the beach and the salt there made the pages kind of old and dry and crackly

and some sand comes out and you get the memory. all right music will take you right back right back right back the women will feel desirable you will feel invulnerable when you guys are making songs like saying running with the devil something like that how do you know when you're done no it's not when you're done. It's how'd you get there? Right. That informs the whole thing. Okay. Somebody asked me once, how long did it take you to write Running with the Devil?

And that's an astute question. I said, well, the true answer is if you watch a thousand movies, many of them multiple times, if you've played thousands and thousands of hours in clubs and bars, if you've read, I don't know, 500 books, tried to memorize all the good parts, take about 18 minutes. Write the song. You guys wrote Running with the Devil in 18 minutes? Yeah. Really? Yes. Jesus Christ. Okay.

But that's in Rhaps. Jesus Christ. Okay. Bethesda, Rhapsody, and Blue. Right. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Right. Took 22 minutes to come up with the basic theme and the rest of it's improvisation. How would you guys write? How would you guys get together and do it? See, the whole point is not the 18 minutes.

It's the whole lifetime before it. It's everything that led up to that. Now, Vane Heelan, we never took a demo tape around because we didn't get lost in the stack. We said, if we're as good as we think we are, they'll come find us. And if they don't, we're not. It's unforgiving. Instead of the requisite two and a half, three years it takes for most acts, we spent five and a half years working the clubs and the bars and everything like that.

So, you know, we came in with scars and stars. We'd done the state fair circuit like that. I wasn't exactly new. Same thing for Springsteen. He'd done 10 years in the clubs and bars before Thunder Road and whatnot. And you'll see this routinely. I think the Beatles did four or five years of working in the red light district, Reaper Bond and all the club shows and stuff like that.

And they're adding up. They're getting that 10,000 and then ultimately that 30,000-hour mark. Yeah, the Beatles, there's a – I think it's Malcolm Gladwell's book where he's talking about the Beatles and their – when they came up, when they were performing in Germany and they were doing these shows where they were doing multiple sets a night every night of the week. night of the week and that this is really what made them so good is this constant performing that they were doing it so much and so often that they just became this smoothly oiled machine if you have a team that you're working together again this is another kind of thing i learned along the way. 40 hours a week is about your minimum. If there's a team, like we're a rugby team or a SWAT team or an emergency room, kind of a C-block,

kind of intensive like that, inner city intensive. We call it Vietnam sometimes. It's like that. 40 hours a week is about your minimum that you need to train together in order to be going without looking at each other. When the lights go out, you don't lose velocity, so to speak. All right. Ultimately, you'll start to look like each other. This is the nature of things.

The Beatles looked like each other. Van Halen, we looked like each other. This is the nature of things. The Beatles looked like each other. Van Halen, we looked like each other. We all had the same haircut. We wore the same leather jackets. The same fans. We became a team. It's the golden times. These are the golden years that most people look back on before.

The friction of time implicates itself. You get married. You have kids. You bump your elbow, now I got to get my elbow work done, and it's the friction of time. The rent expands, contracts, et cetera. And people routinely look back on that as the golden years.

Your gang. Everybody had one. Look back in graphic arts. You know, the Picassos and the Dallies and everybody wandered around in gangs. The great writers in New York all hung out together. And they didn't get along. You're always competing with each other. You're pretending to love each other. You're pretending to love each other.

You dig? I just read in New York Magazine some advice from the art critic, Jerry Saltz. He says, create gangs. And remember, always treat the weakest one as your best friend because there's somebody else in the gang who thinks you're the weakest one.

And that's what you learn as you go. What are you going to learn from working the clubs and the bars and stuff? Well, my string just broke. My nose is running. I'm angry. My girlfriend just ran off with two, not one guy. Should I keep going? I'm underpaid, non-respected, late.

And now I'm starting to sound like Double Dutch Bus. To top it off, I'm late to work. I got bad feet and my corns hurt. And you're going to play. You will perform. Okay? Just as you will expect that surgeon at four in the morning. This is my little baby girl.

That unforgiving. Apply that to your heart. Ooh, sage words. Sage words of advice. You have expectations. You may not have used them yet. Yeah. When you guys wrote songs,

how did you put the lyrics to the music what was the process like how did you guys sort that out so you would you come to them with an idea would they come to you with a riff like how how would how would it work it'll work uh a number of ways but a mistake that a lot of young writers in my department, the lyrics, make is that they think of it as secondary. They wait for the music or the track first, and then you'll walk into a studio and hope that the hand of God will descend and grace you with amazing epiphanies. I can't even spell amazing. All right? And called upon to do it right away.

You know, you'll work out a beat and go, Dave, you got some lyrics. If I go walk into that room and try to create it right there, Nine times out of ten, it's going to be moon in June. Right? Moon in June. Really? When? Sometime soon. What time of day?

I'm thinking noon. Literally. I'm going to put my hands in the air. Why? Well, because I just don't care. You wind up there unless you're banking. Think like debate. If you're going to debate somebody, you're banking your ideas.

Right. All right? And whatever the subject is, you can go, you don't even have to have a subject. It's, okay, I like what he just said. I might even write that phrase, I like what you just said. Could be a Drake lyric.

Any expressions, ideas, slogans, anything that comes from other tunes in terms of their lyric. And is everybody contributing? No, that's just me. I have volumes of those kinds of ideas. Ideas for songs, storylines, etc. You would never go into a fight without doing that.

Collecting moves from every other film of every other fighter that you possibly can so that when somebody goes like this, you go, oh, I know what to do. So-and-so from Zunzun and then I'm going to

visit like this. And somebody says, it's a song about, they play a song, I go, wow, it sounds kind of like cowboy music. Let's write about cowboys.

Going through the banking, giddy up. That's a cool title i heard a cowboy say it on the tv set and i wrote it down literally okay and you start back you can i see the lights coming. And you start banking. Okay. Somebody says something. You dig? I heard somebody, a waitress named Pepper, with an unlit Pall Mall cigarette, tell me, oh, honey, nothing could have stopped us back then anyway. That's a title. That is a title. That is a title. I wrote a song to it.

Did you? Oh, yeah. Where was this waitress? On the road. Just to... Well, she also had something else to say. She'd lean over. She'd show that cleavage a little bit.

And she'd go, keep your fork, honey. There's pie. Excuse me. I got to stand up. Oh, God. I got to make it. And you write it down. Yeah.

Banking. Yeah. I like the term they use in debate. You're banking. Banking your ideas. So when you would go on the road and someone would say something like that, you would physically write it down? I'd go home and write it down today. Today?

All the time, bang. Yeah? And it goes into the books. And then when it's time to deal with a given subject, you listen to music if the music came first. And you go, I don't know. What's this? It'll remind you. Oh, that sounds like Kung Fu.

That sounds like country. Right. That sounds like engines are coming. Mm-hmm. And on and on you follow you might suggest an idea do you write things down physically or do you type them i i print print yeah and i i paint and draw routinely okay as you know that's part of the martial arts okay sure miyamoto musashi yep but uh when i was in japan uh two and three nights a week i what we call it training i did sumi-e with uh sumi-e teachers direct sumi-e it's um like calligraphy pen and ink in in the world of the digital future i spent two years practicing

four shades of gray and two shades of black yeah you want to see my lesson can you do can you focus a camera if i stand up yeah can you focus here's my lesson okay okay i'm going to walk from here to here okay i'm here painting. Okay. I'm the only guy in the room. Ready? Okay. Here we go. No.

Yeah. Okay. After six months, I heard better. Jesus Christ. After almost 10 months, I sit down. He goes, Mr. Roth, I think you are my best student. I said, not my painting. He said, no, no, not your painting.

He said, you are most determined. You are most sincere. You really enjoy most like this. Thank you, sir. He said, I wish to invite you to director's meeting of Sumi-e Society. Whoa. I made the same face. I said, whoa. He she said when is that she said

right now we pulled out a bottle of sake and two little cups became one of my best friends in tokyo wow first shit for six six six first six months i might have got seven words. Well, for a guy like that, in this day and age, it must be insanely difficult to get someone to have that sort of appreciation for commitment. Well, it's a national thing, okay? You learn that stuff in grade school, and it's sort of like music lessons, okay? Painting and calligraphy is as well known as perhaps piano lessons. What were you thinking while you were doing all this, while you're learning this and spending months and months? I focus on specifically that, knowing that at the end of the term, I'm going to be a little, I don't know, I'm sharpening things a little bit.

And when I'm called upon even to have a discussion like this. Yeah. I can bring a little contribution to it. Yeah. It can be more entertaining for all of you listening to this. It can, you know. That's an amazing recognition that you have, though, that you realized while you were doing this that even though consciously all you're doing is doing calligraphy, you're working on other parts of your mind.

Oh, I knew I was never going to paint for shit. Fifty shades of dave but you were still focusing 100 of your energy on doing it while you're doing it yeah yeah and there's something to that yeah it's it's the preparation what are you doing now that's weird uh well, I went corporate. You went corporate? Oh, yeah. I got 30 floor employees. You do? I have offices at one Park Avenue in New York. You seem like the type of guy who might go off the grid and be very difficult to find.

I got offices at the beach and my company is, geez, we're about $8 million into it here. Really? And running that kind of a team and dealing with the people, because it's art-centric. What is this team? What's it about? This is the tattoo stuff? It's the original.

This is my stuff. And I didn't just hire a bunch of people to pass things in front of me. I designed what that logo looks like. I put together what the general, everything. Okay? All. And then I hired the architects and said build this create this so it's virtually everything that you know how to do as an artist because you have to keep everybody entertained you have to be creative on levels everything from adobe photoshop to social engineering and platforming, dealing with marketing, publishing, all the way that publishing is changing, magazines.

Now, Makey Digital. Are you approaching this the same way you approach calligraphy? Oh, you bet. Art-centric. Singing and dancing paid every penny for the company. And this is what I bring to it. Mostly when you have a celeb get involved in something like, I don't know, J-Lo does fashion. She's not really taking a pen and ink and drawing out the words and drawing out the clothes.

Somebody passes things in front of her and she makes sounds. I'm assuming. It goes like this i'm the guy who has to interpret those sounds yeah and and and and because there's got to be sense of humor right mixed in name of my company is laugh to win and it doesn't have anything to do with mirth. All the best pirates laugh, especially if it's the last one. Few of these are going to detonate on the freeway home.

No, I'm sure. When you were creating this company, I mean, how much of your time, how much of your time is involved in this? A significant amount of time. We're back and forth. So you're like a real professional now, like a professional corporate dude. You're doing the 50-hour work week thing.

No, no, no. It's art-centric. Okay. All right? It starts with what was the need? What was the need? Well, the need is like when Al Honnold goes climbing, he's going to put on some sunblock, and he doesn't want to touch that shit for another four hours.

So I built it for him. Okay? I cracked my two molars and walked around for three years with no molars on this side of my head when I caught dengue fever. Okay. Because the sunblock and the stuff that had the mosquito shit in it washed off when I got out of the ocean. So I solved it. And we are stripper friendly, but we are not strippers. So I don't want shiny.

Okay. So it's like a sunblock? I want satin. Satin. Glow. Okay? I don't want shiny. There's room for shiny, like Friday nights.

Sure. Throw a little glitter on it. And as far as fragrances, thank you, no. Okay? far as fragrances thank you no okay um it took three years and more than you want to quote to solve that because every time you go and you smell something you crack the jar of anything somebody has played with that probably in new jersey okay think like this i'm already doing the pitch you like ice cream yeah you don't your kids do gelato even better okay suppose you want to make uh coconut vanilla all right well if you're buying most products you got to just go to one factory in new jersey true story the l'oreals

the neutrogenas and so forth. And they're going to take the smell of coconut and the smell of vanilla and mix it and so forth, this kind of a thing. The fact is the cow lives in a very different place than the coconut lady who grows coconuts. And the guy who's going to sell you your vanilla lives in a whole other country. And the guy who's going to sell you your vanilla lives in a whole other country. The reason that ice cream tastes so good is somebody got their ass on an airplane and flew to all three places. And that's what my staff does. Our staff is artisanal.

It's like Kraft scotch. From the Carolinas, put your Pendleton on. We're going to Portland. Really. And then we're going to go to Seattle because that's just one product. It's my artisanal art thing that I do there. And it came from a need behind the scenes. Started years ago when we'd be climbing and stuff would get all over our hands and all over our ropes. We'd be kayaking and somebody would keep dropping the oars

because something was slippery. You follow? So, okay, someday I'm going to solve this. Someday I'm going to solve this. When you're in your 20s, there's an aha moment. When you're my age, there's more than one. And that's when we went aha again, third time today, and began to expand.

Laugh to Win makes ink, the original, and we have 60 other products coming up. All of it developed for people who live in vans like Alex Honnold, folks who live in transit at hotels, people who live urban camping is what we do, especially me and my tour bus. Everything I do is in the disco submarine. We travel and you got to be familiar everywhere. Even Canada? Even Canada. And, and, and. Today, we travel the entire world with impunity.

You go to South America. You go to Europe. world with impunity you go to south america you go to europe and something as simple when you go to japan you're really going to go find dental floss on your own no you're not pale face you got to take me because otherwise you're doing pantomime yeah wait until you get a bad stomach and you got to pantomime that to the little lady. Okay. All of these things, okay, I got to stabilize. Got to fit in my backpack. Every container has to be able to be sat on in a third world airport.

You got to be able to Stevie Wonder it in your backpack. It's an insensitive illusion analogy but every one of our containers is such that you can stick your hand in the bag while you're driving and find it i'm safety conscious what do you have kids in the car so this is done by design the shape of the package is done by design so you could absolutely absolutely what does it look like? Pull it up, Jamie. You can read our logos from across the Atlantic Ocean. All right. Having worked and played. Here it is. Suppose your granddaddy doesn't speak English.

Okay. All of our products have this kind of logo in here. All right. So translate this to of logoing here. All right? So translate this to granddad into Cambodian. Granddad, you're going to water exercise. Everybody there is going to have their own gear. Take yours. Make sure grandma puts this one on.

And that works in 82 languages. I like the logo. Okay. Thank you. That's a cool-looking bottle of sunscreen. Thank you. You got hand grip in case you're wearing gloves at work. And a lot of times when we're waiting in the projects and the rainstorms, you're wearing two gloves.

You got your rubber gloves and you got your duty gloves on. You still got the no-slip grip on the side. Fair enough. And you got a daughter, right? She's going to grow up to be somebody right and hanging around with guys and controlling guys my dad worked in the prison system the last 20 years of his life okay did eye surgeries up in Folsom San Quentin Norco Pelican Bay etc little skinny Jewish doctor how do you control level four violent lifers?

Theater. Okay. You're going to tell your daughter, don't pull anything pink out of your purse if you're sitting with a bunch of guys. Pull that stuff out. It's the right color. If you're at a legal briefing, you got to be a boss. Don't pull any cerulean blue, especially if it's shiny vinyl out of your purse. You can't have a purple laptop. Pull that.

Pull that. Yeah. It says boss. Yeah. In 22 languages. What's in it? Like, what's in it that makes it work well? Like, that makes it waterproof and...

It's 100% in the brightener, for example. It's organics, okay? What's a brightener? Like it makes your tattoo shiny? You bet. And it stays on just short of forever. It stays on when you go swimming, so forth, okay? And what do you always do when somebody goes, hey, what's that new peace symbol you lick your finger and you rub it

and you show it before it dries out again right okay i'm going to deal with the vanities as guys you never want to say you give a shit right i would teach my kid to say that if i had one hey your tattoo's looking a little rusty. I don't give a shit. Learn how to say that in a few languages. Right. But you know, you give a shit. Otherwise, you wouldn't have gotten the paint job.

Right. And you want the girls to know you got a P symbol anyways because you look kind of mean, like me. Great. Put your finger away, will you? We got to clean up. It's a bacterial thing. So what's in that stuff? You're going to make all the mistakes too you're going to go out and you're going to try and find cheap shit moisturizers that you're going to put on there and you're going to smear it all over

yourself and it's going to look like that scene from uh something about mary when she puts that shit and everybody's going to think, what's that shit all over Bobby's arm? Like this. And it's going to get all over your t-shirt. Right. And your wife has a $600 t-shirt, doesn't she, Joe? Okay.

So you got to consider all of this. Okay. I saw a nice car out there. I'm guessing there's nice upholstery in it. Yeah. I took that into consideration. I got you covered oh okay on and on and it's the smell of victory there it goes nothing it's vitamin c

shea butter and coconut oil not tested on animals dermatologist reviewed yeah man we're paraben free petroleum free we have full list of ingredients here. Oh, what is all this jazz? We are one of the few products here that is reef safe allowable in Hawaii. Okay? The limits of what's going into the oceans now and the tourist areas of the world in Hawaii, you can count on one hand the products they're allowing to be used on the beaches and even in the swimming pools and stuff now. So that comes. So this a whole 100 organic stuff it's all waxes and butters yep when people talk about miracle ingredients i don't know i think in terms of there's water and then there's Fiji. Butter, eggs, sugar, flour.

That's all that there is in the bakery. All right. We invented the cronut. Okay. You take the best of this and the best of that. And the considerations, again, come from life experience. And the considerations, again, come from life experience. I didn't just look at myself and go, wow, here's an idea to make money. My fortune's been made.

What we did is find what we can use when we're living out of backpacks. What we can use when we go dancing. I still go dancing, and I don't leave that floor for four hours where do you go dancing i'm not telling you no no go oh yeah routine really oh you bet where are you where are you going to show that ink right you follow today i know in new york city for example, Mr. Chin lives right next to Mr. Gomez. They both live over Mr. Katzenberg. Mr. Radakovich owns the building. None of them can speak to each other.

They all speak a different language. They're all different religions, etc. So there's two ways we communicate. First is swearing. You know how to do that. You learn seven, eight words is swearing. You know how to do that. You learn seven, eight words in swearing. You can describe anything. This show is the shit.

Show you the shit. Thank you. What kind of shit are you doing lately? That last fight? That was the shit. And we're having a conversation. Okay, like so. And the next is ink.

You see I got a chicken on one arm and a cleaver you butcher and the girl down there's got cupcakes with funny noses let me guess he's got musical notes can i guess more right and and and in an esperanto you walk out in front of columbia university at lunchtime it's the future you would not know that it's united states it is a complete composite international just the smell of all the food trucks the last thing you smell is salami and yellow cheese on white bread thank god say But thank God. Say thank God in a few other languages. Really? Yeah. Okay.

So it's a communication, and that's part of my fascination with it. It's a constantly evolving Esperanto art form. I've visited tribes in New Guinea who can't dance. They don't dance. But they did have tattooing. They did have scarification. That Iceman they found under the glacier. That guy, you know, they found his body. I forget what they call him.

I forget what his name is, but he had tattoos on him. I mean, he's thousands of years old. That was Fabio. I think it's a different guy. Joe? Fabio goes to... Doesn't he go to your gym? Fabio goes to Jamie's gym

Does he? I see him all the time Does he still look good? Fabio is He still looks like Fabio I mean he's very recognizable Fabio is like sideburns Yeah

And flares And easy listening We always make fun But there's one of them in your past That guy banked on his hair I mean if that guy went bald like me He'd be fucked. It still is the exact same.

Fabulous, right? Yeah. Amazing genetics. He got a lucky break. He's one of the characters. Who are other characters like that? Oh, David Hasselhoff. Sure.

Now has a hassle book. What is that? Well, he has his own Facebook thing And he's met so many Oh god Fucking shit Jesus Christ I got the disdain Look from Joe

Oh my god Hassle book Talk about a non-smiler Oh my god Hassle book He didn't Jesus It's fucking cold in here

Have you Are you guys cold Hassle book Holy shit Who was Are you guys cold? Hassle book. Holy shit. Who was Anna Nicole Smith? Yeah, she had a look. There's three phases. Yeah.

First phase is pretty good. The guest jeans ad phase. Correct. Right. And then there's married to the old dude. Well, I'm a little kinky. I kind of like the last one too. The rich right before she dies.

Elvis had three phases okay yeah so uh yeah but there are folks also that don't have phases springsteen never had a phase he was always springsteen there is looking good fabio he's about 85 years old still jack is that correct yeah i mean i don't see him working out a lot, but he's there. What does he do if he's at the gym? I don't know. Talking to women. Oh, damn. Still scoring.

No, but in turn, that's so crazy. You want to think about it, but you don't. But you do. You do, but you don't. Yeah, you want to think about the gal that wants to bang Fabio. Super pumped about it. He's coming over in five minutes. I got to get ready.

What are you watching on TV? Do you have television? Yes. And what are you watching regularly? Because I don't have television. I listen to Sirius XM routinely. I listen to like six different channels over and over again. Lately, I'm watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which is a, it's a, not Netflix, excuse me. It's an Amazon show.

It's an Amazon original show about a standup comedian in the 1950s, a woman standup comedian who hangs out with Lenny Bruce. It's really good. Okay. Really good show. Women standup comedians. There's a great subject. Sarah Silverman.

Yeah. Hooray. Spectacular, right? Yeah. She has a real hurdle because one of the things that she does best is play the part of the character she's lampooning sure yeah yeah she plays the part beautifully of a witless yep racist whatever and her hurdle is that a large segment of the audience doesn't realize that it's an act.

Well, now, now that's the hurdle. Especially now, if you go back and look at some of her older bits, and especially if you looked at it written down as opposed to her saying it, we're in such an overwhelmingly sensitive time when it comes to subject matter that, yeah, that would be a big hurdle for her now. But it's the best work ever. It made such an impact the first time I ever saw her do it. And this is a tradition that goes all the way back. Back during Lincoln, there was a fellow who wrote the Nasby letters where he pretended to be a Southern racist and making fun of Southern racism. Really? By pretending to be, Lincoln kept the articles clipped from the newspaper in his drawer so he could read them occasionally and laugh during the Civil War.

You know, this is a tradition of acting out the character that you are about to execute. Unfortunately, there's a lot. What is the chemistry that folks don't understand that you are pretending? They don't care. It's a dishonest approach. They don't care whether or not you're pretending they don't care it's not it's a dishonest approach they don't care whether or not you're pretending what they see you have said something or there's something written that shows that you said something that they feel is in violation and so they want to go after it and

it doesn't make any sense yes it's literal and it's also it's disingenuous because they know it could be parody and they don't care. There's so much of that today. It's really interesting. It's really interesting because there's so many people that are just looking for things to be upset about. It's recreational outrage. And I think it's probably because things are going so well in this world. I mean, some people say it's not going that well. There's a lot of things to be fixed.

For sure. But it's the safest time to be alive ever. It just is. It is undeniably the safest time to be alive. I'll agree with that. And I think people are more open-minded than ever, more kind than ever. There's less violence than ever. If you look at Pinker's work, all these things are trending in a very, very clear and obvious direction.

And I think when you have coddled minds and you have more safety people start running around looking for things to be upset at and they and also a lot of young people that are very idealistic think they're going to change the world and one of the ways they're going to change the world is by policing language and policing the way people talk about things and discuss things and so stand-up comedy which is you, you say a lot of things you don't really mean because they're funny. You know, that's the whole point behind it. And so it's ripe as far as a target for that kind of recreational outrage. The musical equivalent, perhaps, is really shitty songs written about important subjects.

Yeah. Yeah. Really shitty songs written about important subjects are offensive. Right? They are, right? It's like the melody sound reminds you of overdue dentist appointments. The singing sounds like hot water being thrown on a sick cat, but it's about starving children. Right.

What's a good example? No, don't go there. Okay. We don't need to do that. We don't need to do that. But we all know the songs. But we're all there. Okay. We don't need to do that. We don't need to do that. But we all know the songs. But we're all thinking. Yeah, we all know.

And if you criticize the song, even if you say it's just musically, that sounds like we shall overcome. Whoa! Whoa! That's about pets! Right. Yeah. I love pets. You know, you just.

Well, there's movies like that too, right? There's movies about really important subjects that are terrible movies. Like how many awful war movies. You cause me to think that if it's a really, really important subject, it probably is a terrible movie. Yeah, most likely. Why do I think that? Right. Well, there's no way to really get an important subject and boil it down to two hours oh i didn't think of that i mean give me two hours

an important subject yeah i mean especially like one thing that drives me crazy is when they take liberties with someone's biography like if they would do a biography on someone's life and they change things around or add things to it for theatrical flair. Did you see the Queen movie? No, I did not see it yet. I haven't seen it either. I heard it's very good, though. You heard it's very good.

Did you ask the person who told you that why it's good? Yes, yes. And what did they share? They said, first of all, the guy who plays Freddie Mercury apparently is brilliant in it. Had they seen Freddie live? Yes. No, live i saw freddie live at the forum i was in the maybe 20th row six in when bohemian rhapsody had just come out oh my goodness yeah i saw him in his absolute that is major major prime there so i'm very curious as to, well, stagecraft is one thing, but what Freddie was and what he brought was way more than what you saw on stage. Yeah.

Yeah? What was he bringing? Well, his sensibilities in terms of music weren't just three chords and an attitude. And don't fall for that shit either. If Keith ever sits here and tries that shit it's all right rogan you know you just need three three goals in an attitude yeah and you need to know the inversions of each one all seven modal fuck you keith what i need because he does know all those and the trick tunings and whatever yeah um freddie brought a whole wealth of listening to different kinds of music, whether it was orchestral, big band, bistro.

That's bistro, what do you call it, musette, something you might hear in a coffee shop in France. Well, his music was so different. His singing was so different than anything else from his era. When you listen to We Are the Champions. He didn't try to sing black. Okay. He sang Freddie Mercury. He sang European non-black, what we're very used to, even in country.

I had a very famous black producer,rican-american producer say to me david lee do you know what it means to be a black man in the united states today i every time i step up to the mic i try that's what i grew up with right trying to sound like maltown trying to sound like wilson pickett trying to sound like and on and on that that you know that voter block had such an impact on music much less the overall culture and comedy as well i mean if i had to vote for one greatest all-time comedian it would be prior the greatest of all time i would i would have to say it's he's in the running i mean if it's not him i don't know who it is i'll agree with yeah and there's so many some i mean when you look at african-american stand-up comedians and the contribution in terms of like the overall numbers the top 10 a giant chunk of them were black a giant chunk chapelle chris rock definitely prior the guy guys forget about bernie mack

bernie mack was a goddamn genius you know there's a lot of people don't know about robin harris robin harris was a huge influence to people in the 90s the 80s and the 90s when he died he died i think in the early 90s you're illuminating for the audience but here you're preaching to the already convinced judge yeah well it, I think it's because of the... I grew up with comedy records. Yeah. Okay. Red Fox.

Red Fox. And you can still hear Red doing on the classic comedy channel on Sirius XM and his shit is still funny. Still good. And it's still... Let's revisit.

Is it the delivery system? It's revisit is it the delivery system it's everything or the thing because you can't separate i started imitating red fox when i was probably 12 years old yeah that is the lady wasn't walks in right yeah i still do it and you know i mean bill cosby was obviously a horrible person in retrospect, but his art form, his artwork was amazing. I mean, I listened to- Comedy records, you memorized word for word. You memorized Richard Pryor.

You memorized Red Fox. You memorized Bill Cosby. Yeah. And you memorized Rodney Dangerfield. Oh, yeah. Okay. Those are the four horsemen. Yeah.

And when you run out of conversation at a beer soak frat party high school whatever which is in about two sentences you say you either quote your favorite movies yeah that's how you would converse as guys you know hey you know that scene where he fucking blows him away fucking hey fucking hey. And we express ourselves or you go, you know, I can't get no respect. And doctor told me I have to run. I even try this with the staff. I say, David, how you doing? I say, yeah, man.

Doctor told me I had to run a mile a day and then call him 10 days later. And, well, I'm calling you. I'm 10 miles away rodney dangerfield okay you learned comedy records and you sat around the record player and learned it i don't think people do that anymore no no that was a thing man when i was a kid we used to listen to cheech and chong big bamboo would all sit around and listen to the record yeah man and that was a different one too because they weren't even doing stand-up We used to listen to Cheech and Chong, Big Bamboo. We'd all sit around and listen to the record. Yeah, man.

And that was a different one, too, because they weren't even doing stand-up. That was a completely unique thing. They were doing sketch comedy on a record. It's interesting that pot culture, which is international now, okay, started with an Asian and a Hispanicpanic yeah they fucking were the kings of it and you can again sideburns yeah and when it was all bottoms we make fun yeah but everybody on earth knows cheech and chung how many decades later how many decades i went rock climbing as far away as humanly possible from anything ever made by a god, man, or others. A place called Arapoles. It's about four hours north of Melbourne, out in the middle of nowhere. Big sand drip castles.

You can dial it up and find Arapoles. And we had a couple of campers, like trucks, that we parked. And we put up a tarp in the middle and campfire and whatever. And I had a little television screen. And we plugged that into the car battery. Okay? And I went to the other campsites because we'd fucked up, not brought enough whatever. It was water, food, or whatever.

That's Arapahoe's. Wow. And I went to the different campsites and invited everybody you know hey man can i borrow a little of this do you guys got any oatmeal or anything like this today yeah we're we're gonna be watching cheech and chong over under the far edge over there you'll see us you'll come on over and join us from all over the world you got guys from Thailand. You got girls from England. Everybody knew Cheech and Chong.

It was the great leveler. Wow. All right. And we sat there in sub-zero temperatures, swaddled in sleeping bags, laughing in seven languages at Cheech and Chong. Damn. Look at them. You don't even need subtitles.

Yeah. You don't need to read the movie. They're back together doing it again, which amazing and i gotta get those guys in here as long as they're talking to each other to make sure you never know are they actually talking to each other or has this gone eddie and dave it went eddie and dave for a while it definitely went eddie and dave for a while but they're back yeah they're back together well they were touring quite a bit i think success brought them back together again they realized like everybody wants to see cheech and chong everybody doesn't really want to see chong or

cheech you know what i'm saying like i mean not that everybody doesn't want to see them but that the numbers are so different the numbers of people that i mean tommy chong is a very beloved guy but the together they're they're exponentially more powerful it's the everly brothers yes yes yes yes it's uh but the culture changed a man of his times sometimes the times changes and yes look how the times now represent that which they you know pre yeah i mean those guys whatever they were doing something that was illegal this was illegal comedy there was a legal subject matter today in studio city you could spend a 10-day vacation if you came from somewhere and just worked from the sushi bar to the dispensary on studio city

there's a space that's about two miles long you could spend 10 days come visit us from japan stay at the marriott all the way near uh whatever at a universal and you can each all just work from sushi bar to dispensary from sushi bar to dispensary they're touring look at that up on the screen there's a whole schedule and it where are they working i can't read it it says uh they're in richmond bcC. at the River Rock Casino, in Vancouver at the Hard Rock, South Lake Tahoe. There's a bunch of places. San Juan, Puerto Rico in the house. What's the average age of comics today? The best ones are in their 40s and 50s, it seems like, right now.

Really? Yeah, between Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle. Oh, you're right. Okay, I'm buying that. Louis C.K., Bill Burr. Yeah, all the best guys. Joey Diaz. All the best guys are in their 50s because it does change when you think like um i don't know there's a lot of gangster movies on netflix right yeah and when it's that then the fellas are older they're wearing tuxedos you know they're in nightclubs like Zero's kind of a. Yeah. The 21 Club.

And then that changed to. Yeah. Comedy Cellar and. Yeah. You know, something like that. Today, it's also about productivity. Like you have to be able to put out material. And because most of us are doing Netflix specials now.

And most of us seem to be on a schedule of doing one every couple of years. So you have to be able to turn over an hour every couple years and then take that hour and hammer that motherfucker down to a samurai sword excuse me a katana polish that blade hammer it down polish that blade you have to have it and then you have to know when to release it which is one of the things that i ask like how do you know when you're writing a song like running with the devil how do you know when it's done because with a, you kind of don't know because you do it differently all the time. You fuck around with it on stage. And, you know, I'm a –

How long does it take to do an hour? This is fascinating. It changes. It changes. There's no real one thing. Like, sometimes I've come up with a new hour in, like, four or five months. And sometimes it's taken me a whole year. It's just really – it's really different every time, depending upon how much effort I put into it

and also depending upon how lucky I get with subjects. Sometimes there's a subject that's just rich, almost like you hit a gold mine. I follow that. You hit that mine, you're like, oh, there's so much here, and there's so many also branching off little rivers from this mine, this one initial mine. So there's that. You never know. you never know it's it's it's hard to tell fascinating i want to mess around with it it moves and changes i do it differently all the time you know i'm a giant fan of leonard skinner and one of the things that i always thought was crazy

about skinner was their riffs when they would do guitar riffs it was the same riff that when when they would do a solo their solos were like orchestrated like they don't get enough credit for bringing dynamic musical artists as well as these southern dudes that were just drinking and singing about whiskey and getting away from women like they're fat, ugly dudes, and most of their songs are about getting away from women. Like, I gotta go. I gotta be free. I'm moving on. Call me the breeze.

It was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here before you lock me down. That was a big part of their music. But when you see some of their, like Freebird, that Freebird solo, which is one of the greatest solos in the history of all music. Well, there's some specific reasons for this.

Yeah. Okay. One of the more specific reasons is you had to build. It has a beginning, a middle, a crescendo, an end. There are specific names to this. Okay. When we moved to more channels in recording, when Leonard Skinner recorded all their early stuff as eight track, and then you had to double up early Van Halen, same thing.

You had to compile your tracks or whatever. You had to really walk in with your solo written, okay, and play, and you would work it until it really had a thing. And then crescendos. Once there were many tracks tracks guys would come in and just wing it and go okay let's try one okay great that's fine let's do it again track two and they just make it up as they go okay and then when it's time to mix they'll put a little of track two and a little of track six and start moving those channels in a way that you would

never think to play the guitar for example ed started doing that on a couple of tracks all right original solos running with the devil okay these are thematic solos most beat Beatles solos, thematic, you follow? Yeah. Listen to the solo and ain't talking about it. These are thematic solos. When it started going like this, he'd record six different versions of the solos. Okay. And then just start, move the channel. Like here, turn this one on, turn this one off, turn this one on, turn this one. And then he'd have to go learn the solo. Wow. So you'll see his hand move from down here to up here and down there

it became a gymnastic effort more elbow and shoulder to get his hand from the far end of the fretboard all the way up to the pickup and back to duplicate that wabasabi approach to making solos. So it was a very oblique or unique kind of way of creating a solo. It was utilizing the digital future, multi-tracking and improvising. As opposed to, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to create something like a book. Here's the beginning, here's the scene, here are the characters, here's the conflict. Instead, it's, let's just mix that all up together

in interesting ways. In literary, Burroughs came up with, Bill Burroughs, many, many years agos came up with, Bill Burroughs many, many years ago, came up with the idea of writing a book, then clipping the pages into pieces, putting them all in a hat, then pull the pieces out one by one. This is piece number one, this is piece number two, piece number three. And that's the way you actually remember a story. Huh. I don't get that. Okay. You remember a story. Huh. I don't get that. Okay.

You remember a wedding. Yes. You don't remember in sequence. Right. Okay, we had a batch party. Then I got measured for the tuxedo. Then I went here. You remember batch party, then putting the ring.

Then I was throwing up back behind the... Oh, and then there was a car. Right. It doesn't come in sequential order. Right. Okay. I was throwing up back behind. Oh, and then there was a car. It doesn't come in sequential order. Right. Okay. So it's another way of, kind of a crafty way of writing an essay. Perhaps a bit difficult to digest, but movies are made that way now.

Tarantino starts in the middle. Right. Get used to it. Yeah, he always does. James Bond always starts in the middle of a chase door flies open well these guys are yeah why is he catch off guard he's running across the top of a train because they started in as opposed to here's the field horse walks onto the field i see the cabin what i'm getting from this one in regards to song making in particular the way eddie and you did it was there's no shortcuts you know and the fact that first of all you know he's one of the great masters right eddie van halen's one of the

great masters if you have i mean a hundred of the greatest guitar artists of all time in the history of the human race. He's in that group. Well, he certainly made a contribution commensurate with that. Yeah. You bet. A hundred percent. So you have to have that, but then there's also no shortcuts, even when you're a great master. No.

There's no shortcuts. No. You will have to sharpen and sharpen and sharpen. You described sharpening a sword. Yeah. I visited a foundry where they make swords north of Tokyo. How was that? Well, Harasan, his work goes in the museums.

That is one of the things that I really want to do. Yeah, the old school foundry, four guys with hammers, super sweaty, hot, like visiting the 1600s. That's not who sharpens and polishes the sword. That's my other friend who's 55 years old, lives in a suburb of Tokyo, and that's all he does for a living. So they take the first sword to him and then he sharpens it? Yes. Okay. And he's the one who makes it get that chrome finish.

So the man who forges it does not sharpen it? Correct. It's a different specialty. Has that always been the case? Yes. And a sword polisher does the sharpening, and that's a specialty. It requires certain stones from different parts of Japan. You don't use wheels.

You use the old stones from the mountains, et cetera. You use water from a wooden bucket, and you rub it with your hands. He's 55 years old. This is all he does for a living. Museums from around the world. Is there a video of this? Yeah. What's the gentleman's name?

We'll find it. I'm stalling for a sec. Right. He lives in a very little apartment and he's got two gun safes like you would use you know like liberty gun safes yeah and museums from all over the world send him swords oh here he goes okay that become uh rusty humidity there oh what is that okay this is that that's a paste and he's going to be using that's what they use to laminate.

By putting paste on that sword, parts of it will cool differently. Anyways, sharpening that sword takes forever. That's what makes your patterns. Oh, so they do it. You want that edge a little different of hardness than you want the rest of the sword. You clad it. And what is that stuff he's pasting on it? What was that stuff?

It's made of ash, and it's made of ore. Ore. Wow. And so when it heats up, is that when it becomes a part of the sword? Mm-hmm. Wow. Well, he's going to l a part of the sword? Mm-hmm. Wow. Well, he's going to laminate that. Okay?

This is wild. Oh, they got a scientist. Look at this motherfucker with his lab coat. He's examining. You're going to ruin it. Get him out of there. Get that scientist the fuck out of there. It's made from a certain kind of steel, tomahogany.

Mm. Okay? And when you do the little padding like that, that's ash. So he's putting little pieces of ash on it on purpose? Yeah, that's a stone. Oh, that's the polishing. And that's how he's going to sharpen that. Whoa.

And he'll spend hundreds of hours doing that on a sword, which is why they cost so much. Wow. And there are many different kinds of stones that they'll use on different parts of the sword. Can you dig? The point at the top gets a different kind of stone than the middle of the sword, et cetera. It's amazing. Japanese culture,

and especially when you look into the ancient samurai culture, like Book of Five Rings is one of my greatest all-time books. I've read it dozens of times in my life. But to put yourself in the mindset of someone with such a singular vision to to great to become a great samurai he needed to become a great artist a great poet he needed to be good at carpentry he needed to be good at calligraphy he needed to have all these different skills to balance himself out. Yeah. Each kid's got to take chess lessons or go.

Or go. Go lessons. Okay. They got to learn to paint and draw. Yeah. Got to learn some martial arts. Yeah. Multiple languages.

This is a liberal arts education as seen through the eyes of somebody in the 1500s. It's just I'm so fascinated with Japanese culture because so many things came from that one small island. I mean, in terms of like martial arts contributions, I mean, it is probably, there's a bunch of contributors, Brazilian jiu-jitsu and Chinese kung fu and Western boxing. But God damn, you look at the contributions of Japan.

I mean, overwhelming. Just overwhelming between judo and jiu-jitsu and so many different martial arts. Karate. There's so many different styles that were perfected in this one small place. Okay. It's an island. I agree with you. And that lends itself towards drilling down, burrowing in, really digging in.

Yeah. To follow. If somebody is going to make a sword, it takes six different people to make one sword. The person who makes the handle is not the person who wraps the handle. The person who makes the sword is not the one who sharpens it. The person who makes the sword is not the one who sharpens it. The collar, the furniture on the sword, the peg that holds it in, that gold collar, that's a different person. And the person who makes the scabbard for the sword is a different person.

You want me to keep going? No. Yes. What's an age of specialization started for them many, many decades ago. The idea of I'm one man and I'll build everything in the cabin, alone in the wilderness. It's a great movie. It comes from 1960s. The fellow who builds the cabin and uses handmade tools to do it up in the woods, right? I'll dig the well.

I'll plant the potatoes. I'll build the house. I'll create the hearth. I'll fish the well, I'll plant the potatoes, I'll build the house, I'll create the hearth, I'll fish the fish, I'll hunt the elk, et cetera. And the Japanese perhaps, as well as other neighborhoods, said, I'm just going to specialize in elk. Yeah. And somebody else said,

I just like to cook if that's okay. Yeah. And somebody else said uh i'm i'm i just like to cook if that's okay yeah somebody else said i'm not even gonna cook it i'm gonna eat it raw have you ever have you ever fucked around with archery oh a million years ago you know scouts whatever but uh that seems like something that'd be right up your alley that's a it's a an act of doing it without doing it yes it is a mind cleansing thing too i think it'd be perfect for you this is i saw you have a uh virtual reality range out there oh wait a minute yeah all right officer i confess it's all coming back i saw you on tv uh filling the refrigerator or getting ready to fill the refrigerator with a bow and arrow or

some such tell me about this no i bow hunt yeah i've been doing that you actually eat yeah what's your shame right oh 100 yeah that's most of what i eat is elk meat or deer meat yeah that's the if you look at my diet on paper it's probably 60 elk when did you begin this uh 2012 was the first hunting trip i went on my good friend steve vernella took me on a trip on his television show meat eater and then uh i became obsessed well i was i was trying to figure out what i was doing because i had seen a bunch of factory farming videos. And I was like, okay, I'm either going to become a vegetarian or I'm going to become a hunter. Like, this is.

I follow that. I can't be a part of this. I follow that. And so I became a hunter. And first of all, the nutrition that you get from wild games. Do you see a difference? You feel the difference? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody does. I give it to my friends. Strong red bull. You just feel better. It just feels amazing. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody does. I give it to my friends. Strong, right? Bull. You just feel better. It just feels amazing. Really? Yeah, it's so nutrient dense and it's red and rich. You're eating an athlete.

You're eating a wild athlete that's running away from wolves and mountain lions. I mean, it's just a different thing than a cow that's locked up in a cage or a pig that's locked up in a stall. It makes stellar sense. And they live a free life. It's a wild animal There's no one telling them What to do Or where to go

And you gotta be able To sneak up in on them On the right wind With the right conditions And make sure you get A shot off on them Fascinating Yeah I love it

How often do you go out? A couple times a year Usually two or three times a year And that provides For the freezer all the way? Uh huh Yeah I have three Commercial freezers in the back.

I'll show you after we're done. I have three elk, two elk rather, that are parsed up, and two elk and two axis deer in those freezers. Yeah. Each elk is several hundred pounds of meat, and then I give a lot of it to my friends. A good portion of my friends, they always get little packages of elk for me, elk sausage and elk roasts and all these different things. I'm always giving people recipes, showing them how to eat it, showing them how to cook it. It's interesting.

That's the most modern way is the classic. I eat what I call rabbit food. It's the croco diet, like a crocodile. Birds, foliage. Do you eat red meat at home? One crocodile says to the other, what'd you have for breakfast? A chicken.

Anything that's slow. What was it sitting in? Wheat. What'd you have, fish? What'd you catch it in, seaweed? But that seems to serve me. The Brady diet. Everybody's talking about the tom brady diet what does he do well we call it eating eating clean he's not eating any processed

he's not eating any white bread he's eating oatmeal and clean proteins you know no fried stuff he's in his 40s so it's crazy. Yeah. Is he a miracle? It's something. It's special, huh? And when you look at his body, he looks like a guy at the beach, like a regular guy. He doesn't look like a super athlete, one of the greatest football players of all time. Are we seeing something because between him and Alex Honnold, and there are a couple of others stellar, like, whoa, are we starting to see a trend because of better nutrition and better training and cross trainings? I think there's so many factors.

When you deal with football, there's so many factors. People are bigger. People are stronger. Yeah. Well, I think with Tom Brady, I think it's training, intelligence, dedication, obsession, and then also nutrition all those all those factors but you have to like really be there's no way to be as good as he is without being incredibly immersed in whatever you're trying to excel at there's no way and with alex honnold i mean the guy lives out of his van because he wants to live out of his van because all he wants to do is just drive around to different

mountains and climb them i mean that's his thing for me it was the surfers yeah 1960s them i mean that's his thing for me it was the surfers yeah 1960s exact same lifestyle they needed to be he's a vertical surfer conquistadors of the useless they call themselves sometimes vertical surfer that's it yeah vertical surf for me it was you know we're gonna go camp at san onofre yeah you know there's something you talk to surfers there's something there's a weird corny way to put it but i haven't talked to all of them obviously but a lot of high to surfers, there's something, there's a weird corny way to put it, but I haven't talked to all of them, obviously, but a lot of high-level surfers like Kelly Slater or like my good friend Shane Dorian, they are, they're spiritual in some strange way. They're at peace in some strange way. And I think part of it is because they're constantly on that ocean. And I think the ocean is like a battery.

I think you get energy out of it i think it fits alive it feels alive i think it stimulates you in a very unique way and with those guys they're riding these immense waves these these creations of nature and gravity and force and mass and water and they're riding them and they're riding a living thing there's organisms in it it's just filled with salt i mean it charges the body it's got a different frequency than the rest of the world and these guys they they seem different they have a there's a different vibe about them a more content vibe i've always said it's like there's something about beach towns like why is everybody by the

beach so fucking chill like what is that you're right something crazy beach music isn't chill jack johnson is but you know what i'm saying classic surf music is yeah i guess it's sounds like the waves mimic the waves well the way i perhaps dick dale and the deltones were imitating the way waves made you feel and now they're playing what it feels like to sit around the campfire on the beach right yeah that kind of shit that's kind of a beach tone yeah a little bit is it runners high i don't know there's something we used to walk into the running stores and everybody behind the counter goes, oh, I did 10 today. Yeah.

Hey, Ray. And it stays with you. Yeah, that's real. That stays with you. I ride my bicycle everywhere. I'm on two wheels. I've successfully replaced the automobile in Pasadena. Really?

I got to go to the 7-Eleven. I'm on the bicycle. You still live in Pasadena. Really? I got to go to the 7-Eleven, I'm on the bicycle. You still live in Pasadena? Oh, yeah. I want to go to the, you know, wherever you get on the bicycle. Right.

In the rain, doesn't matter. Really? You don't drive a car? In Pasadena, as infrequently as possible. Wow. And this is how I cross train

as opposed to, I'm going to hire a coach and just stay on that bike. What if you go to dinner somewhere? Don't laugh. Okay, I'll take it to an extreme. When I'm in New York City, I have my bike and everything set up over there, my bicycle and so forth. Got a little apartment there. I saw a scene in Dr. No.

Careful what you let your kids see it could be for life. Sean Connery comes out of the ocean in one of those black neoprene wetsuits, right? Right. And he peels it off and he's got a blue tuxedo on underneath without a drop of water on it. Do I have to finish this? Yeah. No, I got my jumpsuits and i got my flight suits and everything like this more than once i've gone to a club or a dinner i give the door guy or the

parking guy or the valise it's on that's my bike chained up over there and the corner is 20 keep an eye out don't let any pros snap that lock and i just stuff my backpack up under the bike like this and i do this in the rain i do it in the snow i do it every when somebody says the rain i go yeah like every kid in hawaii there are no snow days in hawaii right it's raining just assume it there are no snow days in the dakotas it's snowing yeah go to school yeah and uh i've done this all over the world. I take my bicycles with me wherever I go. So when you were in Japan, you took a bike? Oh, I know all of Tokyo by, like, I know the roof of my mouth.

Wow. I can take you anywhere on those streets. I know every alleyway. I know all the ways downtown. I would routinely make a two-hour trip to my art lessons from where I lived all the way downtown into Ebisu and all the way back like that when you drive around today as opposed to in the old days before cell phones do you

notice a difference with people paying attention text moves yeah i know that getting off the line could take a week depending on you can see you know the light changes and counting on how long it takes is everybody's got to sign off their phone, turn off the computer, do as or whatever. By and large, what I have noticed is that when people are watching you, they no longer have their hands in their pockets and pretend to be whistling. Now you pretend to stare into your cell phone. That's true. If a hole in a fan or somebody is watching you, instead of you going, that's 1960s.

Now they look at their phone like they pretend. More often than not, I'm the only guy who's actually present in a place. I walk into a coffee shop. You don't carry a cell phone no i walk into a coffee shop or a restaurant or even a club which is i crit essentially a social experience and everybody is staring into their cell phones at different banquets and different whatever i'm more often than not i'm the only one who's actually present looking, seeing, hearing, smelling.

Have you ever meddled with those things? Have you ever fucked with them? And you decided it's not for you? I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Please do. I'm very digitally literate. Okay. I can fly a $6 million helicopter backwards.

Can you really? Yes. But it forces people to make eye contact. You want to talk to me? You have to sit just like this. Yeah. Okay. And you can't text me because that's avoidance.

You can't. There's a whole lot of off ramps I take out of the program. What about email? I don't. You don't email nope i'm surrounded by individuals and i know exactly what to ask for and what to about so what if they want to get a hold of you they have to go find you at no point in my life like as a with yourself i'm assuming am i more than five feet away from somebody with a cell phone? I was laughing.

It's like James Bond or some secret agency where even Miguel the Gardener has a smartphone. Everyone has one. He's going to pull a gun and defend me. Did you ever carry them at one point and decide to stop carrying them? Yes. And it became a constant. As show people, we are targets targets for love targets for greed targets for proximity etc and uh it became a constant interruption became a constancy in an effort to find my way to where Shane Dorian is.

I want to be out on that wave, man. I want calm. I want to live in New York City. I want to live in the middle of the noise and the clamor. And I want to be able to keep my heart rate down. I want to be able to keep my waist down. You dig? down you dig yeah and uh i found myself constantly having to answer that phone and having to deal with hey man how are you just what cut to the crash right and uh getting texted

is avoidance yeah nine and a half times out of ten it it's just somebody who didn't really want to talk on the phone. You hear this, well, I texted you. You're the only plane I'm landing today. But at any given time, the guy driving the car, the assistant, even the gardener, has a smartphone and everybody knows. You can find me. You keep it that way. Oh, yeah. So what year was it where you decided to do this?

How long ago? About four years ago. Four years ago. You bet. So up until then, you were carrying the phone, doing the whole deal, and you went, I don't want this anymore. It was constant phone ringing, constant having to check in, constant of, I called you, how come you didn't call me back? Right, right, right. It became a leash. Yeah.

It also indicates, you know, as you start to call over and over and over again, it's like a tracer you follow. You have stalkers? Sure. Got a good one? No, not right now. I got stalkers. Do you?

I got a stalker who makes prank calls. Oh. Okay? I can tell you what time to get to work. I can tell you what time he goes home. I can tell you if he went to church and then brunch and what time he got home from that. I can tell you if he had something to drink the night before and went home and slept it off the next day. It's the nature of communications. Right. right remember tracer bullets work both ways boy

yeah you're going to indicate everywhere you are and everything you do on your entire thing of your life is very orwellian especially with social media right yeah and probably the last thing i want you to know about me is how boring i am i'm not kidding well there's also the there's a thing of giving into this non-human device and and integrating it with your life you in where people just they never leave it alone they're constantly on it they're checking it with they're you're not even getting anything out of it you're just checking it for nothing you're just checking your email checking your photos checking your instagram there's nothing coming nothing positive coming out of it you're just checking it for nothing you're just checking your email checking your photos checking your instagram there's nothing coming nothing positive coming out of it it's just like this weird distraction from life you used to use the refrigerator for

that yes right it's almost the same you're so right it's like a digital version of opening the refrigerator when you know nothing's in there crazy that's so true it's so true. It's so true. It's like a boredom exercise. Yeah. It's a habit. You just got to reach for it or reach for it. Do you have one just in case you have to use it? I'm giving away all my secrets. I am constantly in the grid.

Okay. Okay. One of my closest colleagues that I work with two and three nights a week, Colin Smith, has written 17 books on how to run Adobe Photoshop. We've been working on an art project together for quite some time. We'll debut that at another time. I love the Internet. I love what the DigiFuture has brought to us. My only real regret in life is that I didn't have this growing up.

Go look it up. I should have that tattooed and signed by my parents. Yeah, it's a great time for finding things out. If you need information, if you want to learn. The Encyclopedia Britannica was what we had. That was nonsense. Go look it up. And Canterbury Records, in case you wanted some music, which was an hour's bike ride each way.

Okay. I can keep going. And now you can get music instantly. Oh, my God. For somebody like me, when I was Flavor of the Week the first time, I did all the rock star stuff. And one of the first things that I wanted to do, because I'd read that Elton John did this, is you would get them to close the store. At the record store. And you shop around by yourself.

Yeah. And you've got to have a security guy. Of course. Who brings a pillowcase. Ah, you put the records on a pillowcase. And with impunity, you pick your records. You don't even read the liners. If you have a good cover, you're in the case.

What is this? Sit alone. Asian something. Yeah, I remember that. I used to buy records based on how cool the cover looked. I remember that. I used to buy records based on how cool the cover looked. Oh, routinely.

I'd give it a chance. Routinely. Yeah. Especially double album covers and, and, and, and. And I would routinely, I would shop by weight. Okay?

I would do that at bookstores too. As much as we could carry coming out of the bookstores because, for example um i like many different kinds of music one of my favorites is danceable electronica okay r&b disco anything that has i call it floor if it has anything to do with dancing it's floor and there were no floor stations here in California in the 70s.

You wanted to hear anything that's, you know, you had KJLH maybe, you know, some small AM kind of a station. But you went to New York.

You had, let me put the headphones on. I can do the voice. This is Paco, WKTU, shuttle traffic. This time baby We're missing DJs right? Sorry?

We're missing DJs That's something that's missing From our culture Popping and popping With the best bet for the boss Beat at the top of the pop Smash gold I'm Diamond Dave

No time to waste Making the taste baby Shut up Time to play the record baby Yeah Wolfman Jack Those guys are gone making the taste baby shut up time to play the record baby yeah wolfman jack those guys are gone that that's like a missing segment of our culture i was in pasadena listening for the first fm radio underground station which was kppc

it was metromedia i believe it was channel five tell me if this gets too boring um here's the history of it is during the cold war right around 1965 66 it became a legal imperative that all radio stations regular ones had to operate an fm band station. FM had been around since the 1930s. My Uncle Manny remembered it. But it never got used. It was AM radio. KFWB, Channel 98. It was like the mighty 1090.

That kind of screaming DJ kind of thing. Why? Because in case there's a national emergency. You were not allowed to take your normal programming, though, from KFWB and put it on your sister station on FM. Had to be different programming. Okay? You can't just dominate FM because you got the advertisers.

You're Channel 5. You got a lot of advertisers. You got Earl Shy Carpainter. You have Renso. You've got Chase and Sanborn Coffee. You're going 5. You've got a lot of advertisers. You've got Earl Scheib Carpainter. You have Renso. You've got Chase and Sanborn Coffee. You're going to squeeze me. Right, right, right. So you're not allowed to have the same programming.

And Channel 5, they operate KPPC, which is 106.7. Today it's KROQ or whatever. Right in there. today it's k rock or whatever you know like 106 right in there and uh uh they brought in literally all these fm stations you know the the bosses you know all said well uh my nephew he loves that rock stuff you know he's got a lot of records maybe he'll be a dj kind of thing or who who would be a dj for this kind of stuff i don't know who's a non-screamer the jazz guys okay they brought in big daddy tom donahue and his wife rachel and they came there and they started broadcasting on kppc and tom was a jazz dj and he would talk just kind of like this

and he'd uh okay we got a new quick silver here can't wait till it comes out in stereo take a listen now first side see in a few yeah and we would practice that there's an art to that oh yeah there's an art to preparing you for a new song yeah okay got a brand new one here yeah and he used the velvet hand like djs you know like jazz yeah jazz guys back then a lot of of them were doing things that caused you to slow down. You know what I mean? And we started doing those things too.

Wow. You get a little gauge here. A little strength of patience Joe knows what I mean I do right after and then

it would set you up for the music you'd actually enjoy the music a little bit more because of that guy oh yeah yeah you would get into that

it enhanced it okay here's a little something you were kind of co-conspiring if streaming services were smart they would bring that shit back they'd find someone you know because like streaming services are smart They would bring that shit back They'd find someone You know because like

Streaming services are the new radio Right I mean that's where a lot of people Get their music down Agreed Are you talking about like Pandora Yeah Spotify

All those things They did That's sort of what Apple's pitch was They have a whole radio section On Apple Music And they have Live shows Yeah they have shows

And Well the DJ is it influencers are running them but for the most part yeah but like as a sports niche what is it in the natural okay great movie brock rickford duval duval's a writer yeah writer and they get into a little bit of an argument somebody says you don't play baseball he says yeah but on a good day i can make it look a little bit more interesting yeah i can make it a little more exciting yeah to help you see what you to help you understand what i'm paraphrasing sure that's what i do with uh color commentary yes exactly and that's an art form that implicates everything drama path hilarity, all in one paragraph.

I've watched you go from. It's like flipping a channel seamlessly. I grew up with the greats, Scully, Cosell. So tell me, so tell me, Ali. So cash is, please. It's Ali. Cash. okay. And we would imitate that voice.

You know, trying to get that kind of an eloquence out of it, you know. But you have DJs. They're not really DJs. They are representatives of a lifestyle. For example, I'm going into DJ voice because I got the headphones on. This is why I don't wear the headphones. You've become too aware. Yeah, the sun goes down.

I haven't been to sleep since the late 80s. What was I talking about? I started riffing there. DJs now. DJs now. DJs now aren't really DJs. When you listen, for example, to Sirius XM, you have, for example, the country artist. Sure. Okay?

And it's no-shoes radio. And, you know, he's not a humorist. Okay? He's not even an interlocutor. And behold, and so it came to pass, like in Greek tragedy, and so it came to pass that the sun came and the war was won. He's not that. It's Kenny Chesney going, and I say it with respect, you know,

hi, this is Kenny, and I was just walking down here in Panama City, and my phone went dead no i walked inside and i asked these good fellas right here at the joe rogan barbecue to fire it up if i could just sort of charge it up and they said hell yeah so i just want to tell you i'll come down rogan barbecue and see you can always find us right here on no shoes radio oh so there's something it's not really it's not the same you follow it's not announcing he's kind of being right um tom petty he was a co-conspirator you know like a hey man i'm down here in the basement man i'm listening to some record come on down we'll fire up the bong

and uh check this out this is fucking tasty this is a it's an import i had friends like that yeah you did they could choose the music too that was the other thing about djs they would choose the music i don't know what tastemakers oh well the fm radio did yeah you bet yes you bet and yeah that makes a big difference i did not think about i was listening to wbcn in boston it was uh like 1980s and uh they wanted to play michael jackson and the guy said listen i know this isn't rock because wbcn was the rock of boston sure and they're like look i know this isn't rock but damn this is good music and they played billy jean i remember thinking wow what a bold choice they decided well it's a bold choice in a certain sense okay and the certain sense is that after a while fm radio

became very codified you know just like the horse races somewhere in the mid 70s late 70s it became a playlist and the djs no longer picked their own records program directors picked the records okay and it became very specific target demo we want a home in and whatever now keep in mind when howard stern left regular radio terrestrial radio for the stratosphere, I got a job in New York City. Oh, that's right. I was broadcasting in seven different cities. I forgot you did that. Okay, Dallas, New York, Philly, I think I was in, et cetera, et cetera.

And it turns out, I think what they wanted was a version of Howard Stern. Okay, great. It'll be a third-class Howard Stern or a first-class David Lee. My approach to it is very different than his would be. We're two very different people. He's a personality. It's all about interaction. I see myself as show people.

I'm music first. Okay? So the first thing I'm going to pick when we throw a barbecue is not the food or the guest list, but what's the music? Well,

white people listen to Bob Marley when we're on vacation. And when we celebrate things, we listen to Cool in the Gang. Right, right. And I would play those and the ratings were going up

and they were pissing off management. Well, they said, we feel that Leonard Skinner and Nickelback are more appropriate for your audience. So the ratings were going up and they were upset? Yes. And because you couldn't rein me in. Okay. Now keep in mind, I hired Kool and the gang to open for Van Halen tour before last. I hired Kool and the gang to open for Van Halen tour before last.

You have never seen so many people dancing in one place. Celebration. Because that's the sound of every wedding, bar mitzvah, prom, bachelor party, because this is ladies night. Right. And the feeling, oh, what a night. And you got to sing that. Yeah. You look at each other as you're driving going, oh, what a day. And you got to see that. You look at each other as you're driving going, oh, what a day. So what did they say to you before you took the job?

Like, what was the conversation when you agreed to do it? What did you think was going to happen as opposed to what did happen? Well, what you say and what is real. Yeah, that's the problem, right? We discussed doing commercials, for example. And I don't feel comfortable doing commercials unless it's something i actually use you know like sunglasses or cigarettes beyond that you know vermont care bear kind of a thing i don't know right so it was uncomfortable from the beginning I got fired for playing too much ethnic music and for late night humor too early in the morning.

But that was Howard Stern's whole deal was late night humor. No, it's not. It's a different kind of humor. What was your deal as opposed to his? Well, whenever we brought on porn stars, I actually knew them. Well, whenever we brought on porn stars, I actually knew them. We'd already gone through the getting to know you phase seasons earlier. Did they expect you to do all talk, or did they want you to play music as well?

No, it's just my sense of humor is different, unique, as is his and as is yours. We have a league of imitations in our end of the business in broadcasting, okay? But there's no snare drum and hi-hat, nor is there for Howard, you follow. He's very, again, I start with the music. I start with the ambiance. And if humor arises or personalities arise or we have guests, great. If we don't, that's fine, too.

And I think they expected other. What I showed up with was it also ranged. It wasn't always funny. Do you think that it was just maybe something you would excel that if they had different expectations like instead of following howard stern if they just did the david lee ross show you bet yeah do you think you'd still be doing it uh yes really yeah wow yeah their expectations was the funny, interview the guests, have pop culture funny guests. Right.

And the subject matter, just as we've touched on subjects here that are hilarious and subjects that are pretty dense. Yeah. As I call it, it's going to detonate halfway down the turnpike. Oh, that's what he fucking meant. It's not stuff that's going to go away real quick. Have you thought about doing that now? What if Apple came to you or one of these streaming services came to you and wanted to do something like that?

They always arrive with expectations. And the expectations, just as we discussed three phases of Anna Nicole Smith and Elvis, which Dave are you referring to? Right, right, right. Well, I just think with someone like you, I mean, I'm not a program director, but if I was, I would say just let him be him. Just figure it out.

Just let it, give it time to grow. That's what people don't do. They meddle. They meddle. Like, you're going to do, look, from what I know of you, you're going to do your best at everything. Everything you do, you're going to do your best. If I was going to hire you, that's what I would say. Everybody get the fuck away from him.

He's going to do his best. Now let him hire who he wants to hire and do what he wants to do and put what he wants to put on and let him figure it out. But you hired David Lee Roth. You didn't hire Mike Fitzgerald and Ken Buchanan, whoever the fuck the other people are that work in the office that also want the jizz and the soup. No, you hired David Lee Roth. Let David Lee Roth be David Lee Roth and let him find his legs. That's a difficult entity because it comes with a lot of history. Yeah.

And then the people will start, folks will start conducting, well, you got to play this. You got to play this. And it has a very specific expectation usually. However, in this age, there's a lot of freedoms. There's a lot of, you know, what you're discussing is something that I think about occasionally. So it seems like something you'd be open to. Yeah. Maybe I could get you a job just from this particular interview.

I would be very open to it um i uh you know they've approached me before to talk about it um my interest in music is diverse but it's energized switched on do you know henry rollins of course you know he does his own radio show and he picks his own playlist it's like one of the last few things that a person like him is able to do like that. And he does it once a week, right? I think so, yeah. I think he's doing it one night a week, he does. And he loves it.

Something else that people have approached me for is writing a column. Some of the good magazines have approached me, big ones becoming a writer that interesting to you you bet yeah it seems like it would be you bet it's it's a different uh sound when i write you know it's uh it's in a bit of a different voice it's um my sense of humor comes out a little bit more in terms of darkness i remember reading an article in New York Magazine's Farbanks 1968. I don't remember the element. The fellow was the theater critic for New York Magazine. And the title was In Defense of Booing.

Huh. Interesting. Why do we always have to tolerate clapping, especially for shitty performances? Right. There's the clapper who claps because they're part of the gang. And there's the clapper who yells bravo so that they exist. I am heard. And he talks about how he gets thrown out of an opera for booing.

And everybody knew. Theater critic for 36 years at New York Magazine. You know, in Italy they permit booing and I support that. theater critic for 36 years at New York Magazine. Wow. You know, in Italy, they permit booing, and I support that. Wow. America stands alive. Well, that kind of sneaks in, not just as a form of negative targeting, okay, but as a form of elevating.

You dig? Yeah. You don't go to the golf swing guy, put on all the electrodes. They do the slow motion thing so you can go, you're great, Joe. No, he wants to go, see, your wrist. Right, right, right. See what you're doing with the elbow? You're making a mistake.

Exactly. He's there to identify the flaw. Right. If there's no flaws, there's no booing. You know, a lot of folks are going to go, Jesus, man, you concentrate on the negative. I love booing as much as going yay. In fact, I can think of certain heavy metal records that we could discuss on the airplane from L.A. to New York. That's a five-hour flight.

And I could discuss the record endlessly as long as we're going boo. If we're discussing what's wrong with it, you can go for five hours. What's great about it, how long are you going to sustain that? 20 minutes? Ah, it's really smart. And smart. And smart. The criticism, you know, identifying the flaw is not negative right i'm having a ball over here you take us it's sort of a good example is ed wood's monster movies you see the string you see

the smoke you see the uh flying saucer it looks fake That's a version you feel smugly superior. You always say, ah, look at that thing. That's a form of booing. Now, today, if people weren't doing that, you wouldn't have Black Panther. You wouldn't have Spider-Man. You wouldn't have Avengers and all the amazing special effects and CGI and everything. It's because of high expectations. Oh, and somebody going, I see the string. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Joe. Yeah. All right. Let me invent computers and I'll get back to you. David Lee Roth, we just did three hours. Can you believe that? Time flies when you don't know what you're doing, Joe.

You know what you're doing, you sly son of a bitch. Doing nothing means a lot to me. You know what you're doing. Did we really nail three hours? We really did. Tell people one more time about your product line and what website it is. Ink. The original.

And please say it that way. Ink. The original. Ink. The original. Not theatrical enough? Ink. The original.

Oh, she's pretty. That's a good move. There you go. Get a pretty girl to sell you shit. We make it for everybody who's got ink. Anybody who's got tattoos and stuff. Virtually everything

that you're going to use in the boudoir, in the bathroom, anything you're going to put in the locker. But especially that brightener, man. That stuff's the shit. That will read, boom.

No more rubbing it with your finger, et cetera. And we got a whole product line coming in. Laugh to Win is the name of the company. I'm going to order today. I'm going to order a bunch of shit today. Oh, you don't have to order. We'll have it delivered.

I'm going to order just because I love you. God bless. David Lee Roth, you're a bad motherfucker. Coming from you, Joe, that's a very special belt to wear. Thank you, sir. David Lee Roth, ladies and gentlemen. Good night. Bye. Bye.