The Joe Rogan Experience - #1269 - Bryan Callen

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian, and together with Brendan Schaub he also hosts “The Fighter & The Kid” podcast on Spotify. His new stand up special "Complicated Apes" is now available to download various platforms.

five four three two one yes and we're live brian callan we are live on the internet in cashmere right now everybody in cashmere how come you don't wear watches you were just saying i don't wear i don't i was thinking i was saying to brennan i go you could rob my house and there's nothing you'd find of value like there's not a fucking thing steal your car okay oh no but you wonder why you make money then yeah well well i was thinking a lot of money right you probably like not work for years i yeah i have enough i make money but but uh i never i was thinking about that too i can i genuinely i did some soul searching about this because i watch how motivated shab is he's so

buttoned down about his stuff he's just always coming up with ideas and yeah i don't think i ever gave two fucks for real about fame or money and i still don't i have a very precarious relationship with that what i love is coming up with new ideas and writing new stand-up and you know like now having done the album now i got to come up with a whole new bag of tricks that that's a really fun time i'm probably more happy or never as happy as when i'm on the road at some cafe somewhere coming up solving problems coming up with new ideas and surprising myself. Everything else, you know.

And I like hanging with my boys and laughing. Do you like having a nice house? Do you get any pleasure out of having a nice house? Yeah, but I could live and have lived in rudimentary places and I don't notice. Yeah, I noticed that when I first started making money. Everything gets normal. Like this is your first started making money. Everything gets normal. Like this is your house. Wake up.

It's normal. You know what doesn't change? What always makes you feel good is views. I was about to say that. I can't believe you just said that. A view is not underrated. No. Views are very underrated, I think.

It's so interesting you say that. I just said that. You know who else said that to me? Ray Kurzweil. Really? Yeah, he always lives in a place of the view yeah when i interviewed him he was on a very high floor in an apartment building in san francisco that's where he lives and you out you look out from his apartment and you see the city and you see the bay and it's beautiful yeah it's expansive yes he said views are very important to him they are but i have another weird thing that like if you put me in a french cafe there's a there's a i don't know if it's still around but there was a

i'm so french listen to my accent god damn i can fucking go back did you ask for a ham sandwich? Did you ask for ham? I said I speak French fluently. Did you say hamon? Hamon. Un petit peu de jambon. How well do you speak French? Do you speak it fluently?

No, I mean, I used to speak it. I went to French schools in Lebanon. Damn. Yeah. You know, I mean, I can... Give me six months and I'm going to... You'd hop right back in there. I think so.

The dating pool in France. Oui. Cherie. Cherie. What were you saying? You were about to say something about you were in a cafe in France. There's a place called Chez Paul, which is this restaurant where you're crammed in with a bunch of people and the walls and the wood has been there.

You know, you go to the comedy store, like a comedy club that's been around since the 70s. Like the Ice House. Yeah. And you think the wood in this, this is a weird thing, but the wood in these walls have absorbed so much laughter and good energy. Dude, I was just saying that the other day about the Ice House. Ah, it's very special. If they ever demolish that, God forbid, I would buy that wood and put it up on my walls. Oh, so you do care about stuff.

Yes. Magical stuff. Yes. I like things that last. I like marble and heavy wood like old railroad tracks. Reclaimed wood. Yeah. Yeah, like this table.

Yeah, good leather. This table's reclaimed wood. Yeah. A man with a mustache. What? Handmade things. Like these handmade. I table's reclaimed wood. Yeah. A man with a mustache. What? Handmade things. Like these handmade. I do.

Craftsmanship. Like, if I had, if I wanted to, I would maybe go and have my shoes made in London. I'd have bespoke shoes. Ooh, bespoke. Yes. I love that when they use that. I know. I'd have bespoke shoes.

The problem with jewelry, watches, nice shoes, and everything is I have to maintain them. And I'd rather have... You don't really have to maintain watches. Just put them on. That's right. But I have another weird thing, which I think if I have leather under my feet, I don't feel as secure, and I don't feel like I can run or fight. Oh, like leather soles? Well, you can't.

I need some rubber, bro. Well, yeah. You should have some tread yeah but they can put some leather tread below the i mean rubber tread rather below the leather you don't want those scuffed up leather bottom shoes those bitches useless it's like been on socks right but it's good for pivoting if you want to pivot like you want to throw a wheel kick it's really good yes it's true if you want to bear down if i want to what's called squash the bug when i throw my right, squash the bug with my back foot. No, because you want to push off. You want to have something to push off.

You don't need that much pivot. You really need pivot with a kick. Yeah. You know, like a spinning kick. Yes. Yeah. This is the kind of bullshit you and I still talk about at 52. It's so pathetic.

It's never gonna end well the fucked up thing is that you know i am always getting ready for home invasion or a situation smart it might be the problem is that there are just too many things to worry about i could also i also have to worry about fucking ticks and things that i can't see like flesh-eating bacteria and what i worry about more than anything honestly asteroidal impacts you do yep really yeah because they can come and then wipe out civilization almost instantaneously there was something i just retweeted uh yesterday that graham hancock put up they found a new impact site at 12 500 years ago that that coincides with the end of the ice age this is one of the things that he and rall Carlson have been saying ad nauseum.

And now Brian, or Robert Shock, rather, who's a professor at Boston University. Did you hear about the explosion, the meteor that exploded in December? Yes. I thought that's what you were going to bring up. December, yeah. This meteor that exploded in December had something like 50 times the amount of power in the power it in the atmosphere oh okay oh 10 10 atomic bombs 10 times the power of the atomic bomb that exploded in hiroshima wow yeah and it exploded in our atmosphere but no there's um this impact that they think happened and well there's two concepts uh robert shock thinks that

it might have coincided these impacts might have coincided with he believes there's a great deal of evidence for a mass coronal ejection that there was some sort of a solar flare a massive solar storm that happened which can periodically happen every few thousand every few hundred years something can happen yeah and Yeah. And when that does happen, it just wipes out everything. And he said there was thunderstorms. They said thunderstorms or lightning storms that were like the hail that was coming out outside that we filmed today. But that, but like lightning. Put that back up, please.

Jesus. So this is the impact crater that they found in Greenland. 15 miles across. Holy shit. 31 kilometers across which is like 15 miles yeah somewhere around 15 miles in fucking insanely huge but do you think um as you think about your impending doom which is going to happen right i just worry about the civilization being – we're so dependent upon electricity and any small catastrophe. Oh, this is – they have an impact video of where it hit. Wow.

Oh, wow. So it's all this hit, like where there's glaciers right now with this massive impact. They got hit, man. The people that lived 12,500 years ago got hit. There's more than one crater, too, by the way. This is one of the many craters that they found during the time period of 12,500 B.C. or 12,500 years ago, rather, to 10,000 years ago. In that time period, that 2,000-year time period, they think there was multiple impacts on the earth.

Why, I guess it just wasn't our time now. Well, we're lucky. We've just been through a really lucky stage. But what he's saying, essentially, is that this is what wiped out the Egyptian civilization, the first Egyptian civilization. This is what wiped out the civilization that built uh gobekli tepe this is what wiped out the civilization that preceded sumer and ancient babylon and mesopotamia that all those were a rebuild of a i can't wait for him to come back on again he's coming back on again graham hancock is coming back on again i think i listen to him debate that other guy that you had

on the podcast it was great yeah well it's michael schirmer who's actually a friend of mine who i like but he's he's a skeptic and there's an issue with skeptics and the issue is not that it's not good to be skeptical it's very good to be skeptical the problem is when you approach things as a skeptic you're not approaching them as a scientist and i'm not saying that michael does this but that i think he did in that debate i think it was a mistake people they approach these things looking to debunk them rather than objectively assessing all the possible evidence right and so because of that you miss out on big thing like this is evidence this is not like bigfoot tracks or some shit like that this is fucking real evidence of a crater that

they have dated back to 12 500 years ago yeah but people have a hard time believing in doomsday scenarios because it kind of like you know when you talk about taking the entire chessboard and throw it in the air and you have evidence for it Look at global warming and stuff like that. There is a, I really believe that people have, whether it's latent or not, a religious notion that we are ultimately sacred and that God would never do something that terrible to us en masse. I really believe that. Like humanity itself to go away? No. Because that would make no sense. We're moving in a certain direction. We're making progress. There's this sort of neural net. It's becoming easier to understand what it is to be each other. And that's kind of what virtual reality and being able to download other people's brains will eventually do yeah that probably brings us into one i guess universal consciousness i mean you can go on and on so the idea that that would be all obliterated before it

happens before the singularity for example happens is too much to bear it would make no sense for us because we have this narrative that we all kind of adhere to it's very easy to do that well it's a little psychological sort sort of i want to say i want to say a trick that we play on ourselves but it's really a defense mechanism it's a little trick that we try to pretend that we're important god damn it just look up at the sky and although you can't see it there are stars that are being swallowed up by black holes yeah like if the universe doesn't give a fuck about something that's a million times bigger than the earth yeah why would you think it gives a fuck about you it's eating stars that's a terrible question most people that's a terrible insulting question the problem you know that that's kind of what um who was it albert camus

the french existentialist and sart and all those guys, they were saying, like Camus said, the fundamental question is why not just commit suicide? Because everything is totally absurd and nothing means anything, right? It's like the rock of Sisyphus that you keep pushing up and it keeps rolling down. And then he said, but the truth is most people don't want to kill themselves, but they'll commit philosophical suicide. Meaning, instead of like really starting to ask these questions and really getting into it and realizing that it's all hopeless and despair,

you know, you just glom onto a certain philosophy that gives you hope. Religion. Yeah. Or whatever it might be, which is what it is. And maybe the way out of that is just to enjoy every day, taste your food, enjoy your friends, and realize that it could end in any second. You know another thing that's fucked with me?

The concept of reincarnation. Not the concept of reincarnation like coming back as a butterfly or something like that, but the concept of living your life over and over and over again until you get it right. Oh, Jesus.

Now, here's what fucks with me. I am having a great time. So why wouldn't I want to do this again? Yeah. I'm having a great time. I have great friends like you and young Jamie over there. And I love my family. I love what I do for a living.

I love our circle of friends is amazing. I mean, we are for sure some of the luckiest men I have ever met in my life. There's no doubt. There's no doubt. We have fun, man. Dude, I was thinking about all the mistakes I've made, but then I went, wait a minute, but I'm here. Like at 52, I'm here.

I've made a fuckload of mistakes. Yeah, but look where we are. But we're also risk takers. I mean, we're professional performers. We want into a job that has zero job security. Fucking head first, no safety net, dove right in. We make mistakes. We make mistakes with our job.

We make mistakes with our personal life. We make mistakes with our – there's just no – you're a human. No way to avoid it. Because I don't have a dress rehearsal. I'm presented with these i'm presented with the scenario i have to make a choice in real time yeah i'm gonna make a mistake right and and once i realize that and stop beating myself up about it and realize that i'm i've always done the best i can but here's where you here's what you can do be brutally honest and

assess yourself and see where you're falling short and then just change your approach yeah so that's kind of what i did when i saw acting when i saw what just being an actor was and i saw how precarious it was and i saw where the business was moving with the like new media and stuff and i was like this doesn't make then i watched you doing your podcast and you would say start a pod so guess what i started a podcast didn't go well started another podcast didn Didn't go well. Started another podcast. Didn't make money. Then started a third podcast with Brennan Schaub and blah, blah, blah. But it's the same thing with stand-up. You just keep doing it. You keep following the models that work.

Because I was doing the wrong thing over here. And next thing you know, you know. You've got to grind. You've got to grind. That's where a lot of comics fuck up. They do it once a week. And then they take a few weeks off. And then they come back and do it again. And they're like, how do you do it all the time i'm like because i know how to

grind i'm a grinder it's not just grind like for me the idea is original self-expression i'm interested in trying to take the way i think so a lot of things scare me and they make me angry and i don't know how to i don't how to, you know, instead of fretting about it, I create. You know, Michelangelo, my favorite quote, criticized by creating. It's a great fucking quote. That's beautiful. Yeah. He said that.

He said, criticized by creating. I always think about that because that's kind of, when I look at my body of work and the progression of my specials, for example, man class a little too you know just about being funny and a silly goose then never grew up a little more personal about my dad but then this last one complicated apes where's my camera is that out right now it's out right now oh my god is this the number one itunes comedy album dude do we have to rank things apparently it's crushing and anywhere you heard it's number one in the world dude where you can rent and buy i guess complicated apes is doing very well if you want to get it and laugh hard and learn. I feel like we should celebrate.

Listen, this is not about promoting my special. I feel like we should. I feel like we should promote it a little bit. All right, fine. Get Complicated Apes. Let's just get that out of the way. It's out right now, right? I guess it's out right now.

You can get it on iTunes. Or anywhere you rent or buy your material. So if you have like Apple TV, you can just watch it on your TV. You can get it on Xbox or PlayStation. Listen, you can get it on Amazon. I don't stop. Any platform. All the platforms.

You know, Amazon is really getting into the special game. Yes, they are. They're doing Alonzo Bowden special. He's going to be coming on soon. I love Alonzo. He's a good man. Yeah, he's a very- Smart guy.

I love that guy. Such a good dude. Yeah. They're doing Jim Gaffigan special. He's fucking hilarious. Yep. And I think they're talking to a bunch ofigan special he's fucking hilarious um and i'm i i think they're talking to a bunch of other people about doing specials as well they decided to i love that there are all these other people i love it and we're in the renaissance where where stamps can make real money it used to not be that way you had clubs now you got theaters now you got a whole

network now the the internet and everything else and What's beautiful about the road now is I don't have to do that local press. That's so good. Come see me in Kansas City this Friday, Saturday. What club are you doing? The Improv? Nice place. Kansas City. I love Kansas City.

Kansas City's fun. I like it a lot. It's fucking fun. Oh, hell yeah. I did an outdoor theater there this summer. Yeah, it was fucking great. Wow. Me and Santino. Really? Fucking amazing, man. Really? An outdoor theater there this summer. Yeah. It was fucking great. Wow. Me and Santino.

Really? Fucking amazing, man. Really? An outdoor theater? Yeah, really fun. That's pretty badass. Yeah. Yeah, Kansas City's the shit.

It's one of those places that people forget. St. Louis, that's also the shit. Yeah. That's a fun place. To me, a terrible town. Now, here's the thing. Oh, how dare you? First of all, barbecue.

No, St. Louis I had a little problem with, but Kansas City, fantastic. What kind of problems did you have? I just thought it was a very ugly city maybe you generalize maybe maybe you didn't go to the pretty spots would you go over like google earth you drive all over the whole fucking city i drove around how about cleveland this is where we draw the line i like cleveland i fucking love cleveland let me tell you why i like cleveland it's a beautiful city i mean talk about architecture it's like pittsburgh yes yeah and some great culinary he said like pittsburgh yes that's true that's totally true it's where it's where the oil but then some of the the iron i mean it was i think cleveland was where some of the richest people in the world were at one point last time i was in pittsburgh well the first time rather i said

well not even the first time one of the times i was in pittsburgh i was there for a furry convention oh i was there for the ufc and the ufc was in pittsburgh at the same time a furry convention. Oh. I was there for the UFC, and the UFC was in Pittsburgh at the same time a furry convention was on. That's when I found out about furries. I love that. I had a nice, long conversation with the dudes who work behind the desk at the hotel. They were telling me the furries

were asking for their food in bowls so they could eat off the ground. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all furries except us. What the fuck is going on? I forget who went with me. I forget who opened for me.

It might have been Duncan. But they were asking for a litter box so they could shit and piss in a box i want to do that no you don't no i don't but i would just for a laugh how are you gonna wipe where are you how do you get that fetish well it's like grown men who want to be uh they want to wear diapers and have somebody spank them and change them and well here's what's interesting and there's a lot of people that think that look i am 100 in support of people being trans don't get me wrong if you want i'm in support i'm in support of you being whatever you want to be i'm a person who believes in free will or your your ability to freely express yourself i should say but if you work for a corporation you work for a tech corporation especially a particularly progressive tech corporation

you run into some real problems and i was talking to a guy who was telling me that you don't know the half of it that we're dealing with a guy who uh he identifies as an animal and that he believes that he's kin, like he's a fox kin or a dog kin or something like that. And he wants a litter box in his office. This guy wants to be able to shat in his fucking office into a box. Now, I appreciate that.

Now, I want to say this about him and I'm not a psychiatrist and I have no right to really diagnose, but he's fucking crazy. Yeah, he is that. Now, I want to say this about him, and I'm not a psychiatrist, and I have no right to really diagnose, but he's fucking crazy. Yeah, he is crazy. Right? But here's the thing. You're letting people be crazy. Correct.

When you're letting a 6'4 man compete in women's weightlifting because he's decided that he's a woman now, and now he's winning and he's wearing makeup and he looks like a gorilla and he's on stage lifting his arms up yay diversity like you're you're stealing from women you're stealing you're stealing victory you're cheating you're fucking 100% cheating and anybody says or not you're an asshole you're an asshole i know but you know this is about humanness and when when when someone's feelings how they identify in that moment which of course are so transitory right i mean i'm i the whole my fucking not to bring it back but the

whole idea of complicated apes is that this is your your new special this is our new special and it's available basically everywhere right amazon you could get it on itunes everywhere you rent hulu have it it does oh. Oh my God, that's crazy. Dude, there's no end. Wherever the fuck, look under your, look in your sock drawer. There's my special. It's in my sock drawer. It's in your sock drawer.

That's amazing. But I do think that, you know, we are complicated. Like, we're bipolar apes, sinners and saints and everything in between. I'm not a, so your feelings, how you feel, sometimes I feel like an asshole and other times I feel like a saint and everything in between you know it's very difficult to you know say well this is you're a noun which means you're this as opposed to sort of a verb which is i'm always changing and that that to me is the problem with when you identify when you when you emotionally identify with something well for now you do for now that that's what's important to you but i

can't i can't tailor my life and my entire corporation this is what the part of the problem is and this is what you just hit on yeah part of the problem is these people want to be special for no reason at all correct and so to be special for no reason at all one of the best ways is to do what bruce jenner did you become caitlin jenner and then he's special that guy was a fucking loser even though he was a gigantic superstar in the olympics 40 years ago but from then on they shat on that guy every fucking show that's right they shit on him he was the buffoon of that show yeah and then all of a sudden he becomes a woman everybody's like you're amazing and woman of the year woman of the year after being a woman for six months all the women that do things like Christina Doudna, who came up with CRISPR-Cas9, and

all those women. Oh, is this the guy? Okay, this is hilarious. This is a dude who's a comic? Is he a comic or a rapper? He's a rapper. He's a rapper. And he's fucking jacked.

So he decided to identify as a woman. Watch me destroy them. So he destroys the British women's deadlift record without even trying. Wow. P.S. I identified as a woman. Watch me destroy them. So he destroys the British women's deadlift record without even trying. Wow. P.S. I identified as a woman whilst lifting weights. Don't be a bigot. I love this motherfucker.

And he's so jacked. Imagine that. So a biological man don't have any physical strength advantage over women in 2019. Okay. Anybody who says that is a fool. That's hilarious. That's foolish.

Look what he just did. Yeah, good for him. What's his name? Z a fool. That's hilarious. That's foolish. Look what he just did. Yeah, good for him. What's his name? Zuby. Zuby. Zuby Music. Zuby is his stage name? Yeah.

Shout out to Zuby. Oxford graduate. Doesn't that mean you're a Rhodes Scholar? Zuby. Badass. Congratulations to you, sir. I'm following you right now. I'm going to go right to my goddamn Twitter.

Free thinker. Free thinker. He is a free thinker. God bless you. Look, it's like this is silliness, folks. Of course it is. And here's the problem with a lot of these progressives is that they're really nice people. That's what it is.

Zuby follows me, and now I follow him. Shout out to Zuby. They're nice people as long as you agree with them. Yes, exactly. And if you don't, they try to de-platform you. I got listed. Tim Pool sent me this thing next to Richard Spencer as being a far-right influencer.

An all-right influencer, yeah. Far-right! They called me far-right. That's amazing. I'm left! They're liars! I am fucking left-wing on... Who did that though? I'm almost a socialist! I consider universal basic income a really good idea.

I want free college education take it easy i would like to spend more in taxes if they could fix inner city communities and and take these poor neighborhoods and throw a fuckload of spend more you fucking republican the more money you spend it doesn't the problem is you got white privilege that's the problem listen you son of a bitch i feel it coming out of your pores listen you socialist why don't you leave my country 6 afric, so watch your fucking mouth. Dude, no wonder you're so compassionate. Compassion's everything.

But I think these people are too compassionate. This is what the problem is. They're like, oh, you identify as a wood elf? Oh, cool, you're an elf. I don't want to, you know, like whatever your feelings. And here's the thing. They're terrified of someone coming after them. So they try to embrace, the more preposterous, the better.

Yeah. Like they're having a real hard time now with this woman, the congresswoman, you know, who said a bunch of anti-Semitic shit. Yeah. Or anti-Israeli stuff, right? Anti-Israeli shit. Is it anti-Semitic? Has she said anything bad about Jews in general?

I think she might have said anti-Israeli stuff, which I think you can make a distinction yes you should be able to i think you should be able to make an intelligent argument that there is a difference between being not anti-israeli but having problems with their policies and jews yes because there are a lot of jews that are critical of israel as well yeah so it's know, but sometimes to silence you and stop the argument. I'm not familiar with what she said exactly. I'm not either. Yeah. But go on.

What were you saying about the problem? They don't know what to do with her. They're stuck in this weird spot because they don't, like, here's a perfect example where was it um was this so it was somewhere in europe where um these this muslim group was shouting down this lbgt demonstration and the like everybody's like oh well jesus what do we do here we have two protected classes going to war with each other yeah and one of them is shouting down the other one saying that you know homosexuality is forbidden by god but then we're supposed to be protective of lbgt people we're supposed to be open-minded and progressive and allowing them but but then you have these

people who are saying that it's their religion that they think that this is this is wrong and this is also a protected class you don don't want to be Islamophobic. So what does everyone do? Everyone stands back. And this is one of the weird moments where people are standing back while LBGT people are getting absolutely crucified in the streets, yelled at with bullhorns, told they're sinners and blasphemers. But that actually is part of free speech, right? Sure. So it's part of being able to

organize and express yourself organize and petition your government that's constitutional as long as you don't incite someone to violence as long as you don't say hey you guys go kill those gay people over there bro i'm not talking about constitutionally i mean constitutionally i agree it is free speech but what i'm saying is that there's no outrage there's no commensurate outrage like there would be if say like white nationalists were screaming at these people so so here's my issue with the far left or the left or even forget the right for a second i have my own issues with that but my with the progressive argument i always notice that the narrative is very binary the narrative is always uh so for example racism is the argument right so if we need to get rid

of racism i happen to think we could be as identical as penguins and we'd still find reasons to break into us versus them well we'd have an ideological but of course we did look look at the middle east if racism was the was was the ultimate problem, then the Middle East would be fairly… Or it would be a financial… Sunnis and Shia, the Igbo and the Yoruba. I mean, I can keep going. There'd be all kinds of… So, people that look…

The Dinka and the Nua of the Sudan, sworn enemies, they look exactly the same. So, human beings don't need to have different colored skin. I couldn't agree more. Yeah. So, we are tribal, and it's fun to break into these us versus them. I think the biggest problem is kind of deciding that, first of all, the Internet has made it very possible for you to purify your echo chamber. Yes. That's a big problem.

And then you surround yourself with people who think and see the world exactly like yourself. see the world exactly like yourself and i think we get smarter when we listen to the other side i mean if you don't agree with them because your ideas aren't working and their ideas aren't working but put your ideas together and maybe somebody gets pregnant with a new idea you know yeah the the idea is that there's some way that you could stop all division between human beings as long as people are allowed to express themselves they live unique and individual lives that's never going to happen no you're going to have people that come from different parts of the world where different things are more important you're going to have people that come from different economic situations it's going to be different i mean when when i say that i'm almost a socialist what i mean is like look there's certain things we just accept

that we need like here's one you need a well-funded fire department right who's who's money everybody we're pulling all our money into that right right we agree with that we agree there's well-funded public education you have to have that right well we barely do that right now but we do have that and teachers are getting fucked left and right they're getting minimal pay children are going to school in hazardous conditions but it's at least there's some money being put police officers we agree so street fixing the streets we agree we agree on a lot of things but then it gets to certain things we go okay well that's where we draw the line well why do we draw the line there why do we draw the line um with when it comes to community upheavals, like fixing communities? Yeah. I mean, infrastructure.

Yeah. Why don't we have, like, if we're really a team, or if the United States is really a team, why don't we look at it as a team in terms of equal allocation of resources to solve conflicts and problems, including crime? We don't. Yeah. Right?

We don't. Well, a lot of times the problem is isolating the source of the problem right so people disagree on what the actual problem is i can give you examples i mean when when we talk about illegal immigration and what to actually do about it people are all over the board with it and they'll challenge your solution in court and there's all kinds of stalemates which probably is a good thing so things don't get too, they don't swing too far in either direction. Universal basic income, universal health care, gun control. These are actually fairly complicated issues.

You know, I don't want spree shooters, you know, but when you get down to it and you hear people who are really educated on the subject of guns, they can get you twisted up in an argument if you start talking about gun control because you realize this is a complicated issue and maybe it's a mental health issue, maybe it's a thousand things. It's certainly a mental health issue. There's a lot of issues with it.

The ability that someone has to do what... Is it only one guy? More than one person got arrested in New Zealand, correct? No, I think it was just one guy. Yeah, more than... They got arrested, but only one shooter as far as I know. So the other ones are planning it? They thought they were... Maybe, yeah. No, I think it was just one guy. Yeah, they got arrested but only one shooter as far as I know. So the other ones were planning it? Maybe, yeah.

But my point is that you have to be ill. There's no other way. You have to be mentally ill in order to do that. Now, I want you to think about the fact there's more guns than there are people. So, in this country alone, there's 300 plus million people. There's more than 300 million guns

relatively speaking the number of mass shootings is incredibly small in comparison to the amount of guns and the amount of sick people and how many people are sick who don't become mass shooters right it's a big number yes it's it's very true those are things and a lot of the gun violence uh that the left talks about a lot of those are suicides. A lot of it. Yeah. A lot of that is suicides. A lot of it is cops shooting bad guys.

A lot of it is people defending themselves. And then after that, you have gang violence. But so the problem is that when people argue, they make these things very simplistic. Yeah. And they're not. You know, even the identity politics. I mean, you know, so straight white males are essentially the enemy. So the idea would be if we take straight white males out of the equation because this is all power, right?

It's all – Talking to Amy Schumer or something? No. But – no, I'm not. But this tyrannical hierarchy and stuff. As if if you took white males and took all of them out of the equation, as if there wouldn't be a new hierarchy. Yeah. That's fucking – you know, it's just the way shit happens people when you try to make things really equal in a

communist society the people closest to the government making the decisions they become the new elite so you're not gonna fucking no avoid that shit no and also there's no equality of effort the problem with equality of income and equality like people want success to they think that if you're more successful that it's because of some sort of a cheat. You've rigged the system or cheated somehow or another. But that's not true. Some people work harder. Of course they do. They just do.

Of course they do. Some people become obsessed with success. And some people, my uncle, my Uncle Vinny doesn't give a fuck. You know what my Uncle vinnie does he makes art really sells it yeah he's always been that way he used to be a photographer and now he uh he makes uh he sent me some driftwood that he painted wow he painted signs for my daughters made out of driftwood he's just a really like that he's so eccentric but he's never given a fuck about it drove his ex-wife crazy he just makes beautiful things for he people like that he's so eccentric but he's never given a fuck about it drove his ex-wife

crazy he just makes beautiful things for he's an artist he's like a legitimate artist Jimmy Burke's that way Jimmy Burke is truly not ambitious

he is he is only interested in feeding his brain he loves like he listens to Stephen West's podcast Philosophize This

which is my I love that podcast that's my new my favorite I've been talking to that guy back and forth I'm gonna get him on yeah I gotta get him on I love he's 29 and he's got such a

command of philosophy but he makes it so accessible yeah like jimmy will start his day with philosophize this just listen get a get a nugget and then he goes and works out and plays tennis and just he's a national treasure because he only lives to educate himself and make the world a better place he just makes people feel good about themselves he's trying to enjoy life but do you think you'd want to do it over and over and over again the exact same life i do he's he's the happiest he's the closest thing to a monk i was just with him i i flew him down to florida do you know the time we had him on the podcast folks you want to watch a disaster podcast we got him way too high oh god we got him like three or four hits deep and he doesn't smoke weed

And he hadn't eaten And he was thirsty I don't think eating helps when you're smoking it I might be wrong, does it? He was already low blood sugar and he hadn't slept We barbecued that dude We threw him in a Traeger grill And set it at 225 for six hours

He was forgetting stories in the middle of the first sentence He's amazing We fucked him up which is too bad because he tells some great stories now the world will forever know him as the guy who couldn't keep it together well I remember when he

he had tuberculosis I called him Jimmy Berculosis and he had tuberculosis he sure did how did he get tuberculosis they think he got it from his grandfather when he was three years old

and it laid dormant and they couldn't find it because it was on the outside of his lung holy shit so I'm with him in the hospital I've never seen anything like this i'm with him in the hospital and he had they thought he had two things one the disease that killed bernie mack or two long disease killed bernie mack he had a uh that disease that firemen get from 9-11 uh where your lungs basically turn to sand i mean you know it's awful so b. So Bernie Mac died of that. So they said,

you have either a fatal disease, which is that lung disease, or you have lung cancer. Okay, now this was what he was looking at. And I remember he was just talking to me like this, and joking around. Oh, dude, yeah. And I went, Bubba, I go, you are you've been given like, they are looking at you either being, you know, you're dead or dead. I don't understand how you're not even missing a beat. And he goes, dude, come on. I've made peace with my death a long time ago. I live every day as it comes.

And he was getting ready for them to come out and tell him what it was. And the doctors, you know, you can't help but to love him. So he was there for three weeks. And the doctors, you know, you can't help but to love him. So he was there for three weeks. And the doctors finally found that he had tuberculosis. Now, at this point, all the doctors fell in love with him. All of them. They'd come in and listen to his stories. So the doctor came running in and goes,

We found out what you have. You have tuberculosis. And Jimmy was like, oh, great. And he goes, no, we can cure that. This is fucking great. We can cure that. So he went on nine months of antibiotics. Nine months? And he went colorblind. From the antibiotics? Yeah, that's we can cure that. This is fucking great. We can cure that. So he went on nine months of antibiotics. Nine months?

And he went colorblind. From the antibiotics? Yeah, that's what happened to him. He is now colorblind. So he's colorblind now? Colorblind. That's what the antibiotics did. But hey, he's 100%.

But I've never seen anybody face his own death and be that just monk-like about it. He's a badass. Does he have a good diet? Yeah. Now, when he was on the antibiotics they give him probiotics as well i he does probiotics he brought his body right back i mean he is just a beast he's never stopped working out he's never stopped eating really well do they know what caused his uh antibiotic reaction that made him colorblind that apparently is a side effect when you take

nine months of a very strong cocktail of antibiotics you know and that cured it though nine months later it cured it yeah thank god there's no way it cures it on its own well it back in the day you had consumption and almost you died eventually but some people would go up into the mountains and it would it would uh tuberculosis can go into remission and not come out again. When you go to the mountains? The idea was we'll go to the mountains and breathe fresh air, and sometimes you could go into remission with tuberculosis. But tuberculosis was almost always a death sentence.

In Long Day's Journey Into Night, the great play and Nobel Prize winner, Eugene O'Neill, his brother had it. And he knew his brother was going to die. And he just watched his brother deteriorate it was like it was like having aids or something you would cough you'd spit up blood and you know i think chopin the great piano player died of it this is why when people talk about you know when they're they're anti-vaccine or they're anti uh antibiotics or western medicine just read forget the science don't don't worry about Big Pharma. Just pick

up a history book or a piece of literature, anything that's written before 1950, which most people don't, 1960, any classic book. And one of the central themes is the fact that people, especially children, died. Lincoln lost, what, three of his children? Three to fever, quote, Children died. Lincoln lost what? Three of his children? Three to fever, quote unquote. Usually probably diphtheria or something that came rolling through. Smallpox was a fucking, it was the biggest killer forever. How about the Spanish flu of 1918? People died. 20 million people. Millions of people. Yeah. So if you just forget, I mean, just pick up a history book or pick up a piece of literature. It was unavoidable. Yeah, it's very, the Spanish flu apparently was a really weird one because it actively

attacked people with really good immune systems. Oh, young people. Young people died. Yeah, it killed them better than it killed older people for some strange reason. Yeah. And that was a fact of life. You usually buried your children. Throughout history, you had to bury your children.

That's a unequivocal fact we don't live in that world anymore we don't worry about those those diseases like tetanus and diphtheria and things that would roll through and just kill people are getting it now people are getting tetanus again that's right some kid got tetanus and i saw people arguing that one of the dumbest fucking things i ever saw in my life someone was saying there's a simple cure to tetanus just expose it to open air. Is that a scientist? Was that a guy who has his degree?

Why is it these guys never have a degree? It was a chemtrail believer. But why is it that all these guys who make the noise don't have degrees? Because they want to believe that there's some sort of an organized clan of people that are trying to keep your health down. Or support big pharma. The real facts of diseases like smallpox and like polio, like all these horrific diseases that people in our grandparents' generation had to deal with, is that they were cured by medicine. Is modern pharma greedy? Look no further than the OxyContin crisis.

That's right. The opiate crisis we're facing in this country. Yeah. Big pharma, left unchecked, is like anything else where it's a corporation that wants to have universal growth. Right. They want to have constant, never-ending growth, and they want to keep making money, and the way to do that is prescribe more people poison.

Ben Goldacre, you ever have him on his podcast? No. He wrote a book called Bad Pharma. But he's a doctor who takes a very he said there there is evil but you have to know what kind of evil don't just throw the whole exactly if you have mercer you need big pharma fuck yeah you know if you have staff just talk to anybody who's ever wrestled or anything dude cam haynes son had staff and he called me up he's like uh how bad is staff i'm like jesus christ because he told me his son got it at the gym i'm like get him to the fucking doctor immediately now my wife's friend went into a coma she she started having seizures because of an unchecked staph

infection she got at the gym she started having seizures i'm at sushi with frank grillo our buddy and he he boxes every day and i see his arm and he's got a long sleeve shirt and his arm's bleeding and i go what's going on with your arm because i got cut i was at the gym and he's always on that dirty you know mat or just whatever in a literally seven hours his he had a sack hanging off his elbow doctor goes you got to get he almost lost his arm he had to get shots and antibiotics for a whole week.

I mean, that shit moves quick. Moves very quick. You would lose your arm or die. I tell you the Ari Shafir story. Me and Ari are playing pool and he's limping.

I'm like, what's going on with your leg? And he goes, I think I got a spider bite. I go, let me see your leg. He pulls his leg. I go,

dude, listen to me. You're going to the doctor right now. I unscrew my cue. He's like, are you serious? I go, we're quitting right now and I'm taking you to the fucking hospital. I go, you got listen to me. You're going to the doctor right now. I unscrew my cue. He's like, are you serious? I go, we're quitting right now, and I'm taking you to the fucking hospital. I go, you got to go to the hospital now.

He goes, now. I go, do you have a staph infection? And it's bad. And you could tell. Fuck yeah. What did it look like? It looked like a zit. Like a giant zit on his knee.

I go, that's not a spider bite, bro. And he was doing jujitsu because of me. I bought him a year membership for jujitsu for Hanukkah. But yeah, man, it was fucking nasty. And he would have just walked around with it, and then it would have gotten really bad, and he probably would have got systemic and died. And that happens to people. My buddy Ryan, who is a half Gracie black belt, they had to cut out,

they had to cut an inch off of his shin bone because the screws. So every time he'd be on antibiotics, a year and a half in and out of the hospital, took him two years to recover with probiotics and everything. Year and a half because the screws, every time they put the screws back in, they, the screws had the virus, the bacteria. So he had to have, um, when they took out the, they took out the bone and they had to put a plate there, they would use screws. So for whatever reason, the screws that were in the metal would somehow, they were infected. They kept infecting the bone.

Oh, God. And they had to grow, they had to somehow graft bone back on it. It was fucking crazy. Jesus Christ. It's no joke, man. But anyway. Once something like that happens, though, how happy are you when you're healed? Yeah, I had a cold recently.

Just a little cold. Not that bad. But I was running ragged. Just too many trips and too busy and getting up early and going to bed late. And I was just really tired and sick. And then I couldn't work out for like four or five days. And I remember thinking to myself, you've got to remember this. You've got to remember this you got to

remember this shitty feeling when you can't even exercise and i'm hawking up green shit and spitting in the sink just to look at it i know do you do that you blow your nose in the sink of course i do i do that i go yeah yeah i want to see it yeah see what it looks like just big fucking smurfs yeah just shit big green gobbles all over the fucking sink. But I just remember thinking, you've got to be smarter, stupid. Just be smarter. And most of the time I am.

Most of the time I am. But sometimes I just go, I've got to hit that gas. I've got nothing in the tank. But I've got to fucking keep that accelerator pressed. That's why I don't fuck around with my sleep anymore. I read that book, Why We Sleep. Matthew Walker?

He's amazing. I just don't fuck around with my sleep anymore. You that book uh why we sleep matthew walker he's amazing i i just i don't fuck around with my sleep anymore you should not you should not sleep is critical yeah yeah it's um you know what is amazing for sleep man you know what you get in your place get yourself a sauna really oh yeah really oh yeah you do 20 minutes in the sauna. That's for fucking clowns. You wear a rubber nose when you do it? Yeah. Hey, man. I take cold showers after yoga. You wear a rubber nose?

Man, Joe's being mean to me. Call me a clown. He's a fucking clown. Fucking clown. I'm trying to create shock proteins. Yeah. Fuck those on. You got to get really cold.

You should have an ice bath. You want to do that? I'll do an ice bath. I've done that before. Have you done cryo? Yeah, I've done cryo cold. You should have an ice bath. You want to do that? I'll do an ice bath. I've done that before. Have you done cryo? Yeah, I've done cryo. Have you done the real one where your head goes in? No, you did the one where the neck below.

On it has the bullshit one. Really? Yeah. The real one's only made by cryo healthcare. They have one in New York or one center in New York. They have one in LA. They have one here. They have one in Woodland Hills.

Come sit in an ice bath for 20 minutes and talk to me. Okay. You go numb. It sucks, I'm sure. It's a bitch. But so does 250 degrees below zero. Have you not done an ice bath? For three minutes.

Yeah, I have. Come on, bro. It sucks. All right, bro. I get it. Did you wear a fucking, do you wear a clown nose? I sang. Burn.

I just double burned him now. Sing a song. I was singing. Sing. Yeah, it's not good. There's probably some real benefits to ice baths. The benefit of cryo over ice baths is you can work out right afterwards. Oh, wow.

Ice baths, they recommend you not work out. They're like, you just chill out for a while. But it's great after you're working out. But for muscle strength and development it's actually not good to do it right after training you actually should wait quite a while like maybe an hour or two so when you you've been you've had countless conversations with cutting-edge scientists and exercise people the five things that you do every day, like that without fail, what are they? In terms of for your health.

First of all, I supplement. I think you- You believe in supplements. I believe absolutely wholeheartedly in supplements. Like which though? What kind? I take Athletic Greens. It's a sponsor.

They have, it's a great whole food supplement. I'm doing an ad for them right now. It's a great whole food supplement. I'm doing an ad for them right now. One serving has 12, one scoop has 12 servings of fruits and vegetables in terms of the amount of antioxidants. Jesus. Very healthy. It's good just for like a backup plan. Right.

I take these little packs with me on the road. I take a lot of the Onnit shit. I take obviously Alpha Brain, Shroom you know we have some awesome whole food supplements there's a bunch of great stuff um i take a lot of vitamins i take vitamin d i take vitamin b i take a lot of fish oil a lot of essential fatty acids i believe in all those things. I cut way back on my sugar. I mean, way back. Yeah. To where maybe once a week I'll have dessert.

Yeah. Maybe once a week. I do that too. Yeah, I don't fuck around, man. Yeah. I just- Do you intermittent fast? Yes.

Me too. 16 hours a day. Yeah, I do that too. Yeah, every day. That makes me feel- You know my psoriasis is 100% gone? That's awesome. Well, part of it's also,

and I got to give a shout out to Dan Garner. Dan Garner, 88 at Gmail. If you need his email, he's a fuck, so he's the guy who, What a terrible idea. No, it's fine. It's fine.

I want to promote him because he's, Do you know how many fucking people are going to email that guy pictures of dicks? Good, but a lot of people have psoriasis, but let me tell you, so Andy Galpin,

who you know. Yes, very well. So I talked to Andy Galpin and Afif Ghanoum, who Aubrey put me in touch with, he's the guy who coined the term the gut biome. You should actually have him on. He's a really, really smart guy. He's a scientist who's a leading scientist in gut biome. They're working with the Cleveland Institute of Dermatology, I think, with psoriasis.

So how the gut affects psoriasis. So anyway, long story short, Andy Galpin puts me together with Dan Garner. He's got like 12 degrees, but he's a strength and nutrition coach. This motherfucker is such a nerd with everything. And this guy, I did a gut analysis and all that stuff. This guy gives me a diet and finds some opportunistic infections in my gut,

like bacteria that shouldn't be there. He's got me doing like oil of oregano and fucking garlic pills and stuff like that. But there's a whole regimen I do for four months. Long story short, then there's a probiotic protocol that you do. I do all that. My psoriasis just goes away. It's just, it has not come back and it's been gone.

Now it's something I'll have to manage. But when I say complete, because you saw my back, remember when you saw it? It's all gone. And I had that for nine months it got bad so somebody talked to kim kardashian she's got that shit all over so there's overwhelming evidence that a lot of these autoimmune diseases are it's are somehow a gut issue you know how jordan peterson cleaned his up yeah yeah carnivore died yeah and they think the corner carnivore died might be from what I've heard on your podcast and elsewhere is that I guess you kind of give your gut bacteria

kind of a reset it's an elimination diet you take away virtually everything except one thing your body adjusts and your body just somehow or another it cures itself of a lot of ailments with an elimination diet

well that's why intermittent fasting. It's very controversial. Yeah, that is why intermittent fasting in general is so beneficial. It helps me. But this carnivore diet is very fascinating because people fucking swear by it, man. There's people that they look great, their health has improved, they've lost weight and gained muscle. For how long, though?

That's my question. That's the question. That is the question. You need some fiber, I think. think i don't think so i don't think you really do most people that are taking it say they don't have any issues some people have issues in the beginning of it but man people have been doing it for years they've been doing they've been on the carnivore diet for a year like dr sean baker he's been on it for years and he all he eats is fucking rib eyes he just eats ribbeyes and eggs. But aren't the, there are certain cultures that are 100% carnivore.

Like I think the Maasai traditionally were. A lot of the Bantu Belt in Africa were. And the Maasai look great. Oh, yeah. I've seen them in person. I've been to Kenya twice. I mean, they look like professional athletes. Beautiful people.

Yeah. I mean, in terms of the effect on their body they don't look malnourished rather they're six foot six they're you know yeah they're my friend you know my friend lived with them for he's a triathlete and he lived with them for six weeks and uh he goes dude you i've been an athlete my whole life i'm not an athlete i tried to run with those guys i tried to do stuff with those guys and he's like the way they can like track shit he goes they could look at a blade of grass and the way it was bent or like a certain area and go oh cuckoo whatever the the fucking kudu ran through here or whatever the fuck it was they could they could tell what kind of animal came through whoa and then they had this throwing contest they were were throwing shit. Not just spears, but they were throwing like this, whatever it was.

And he said, dude, I could, I was so embarrassed. He was embarrassed. He was just such a bitch. It's like, I have Northern European bullshit genes. These motherfuckers from Kenya, you know, it was a whole different thing. For sure. It's really interesting that the cradle of civilization, which is where all human beings emanated from Africa, has the best genes.

They have the best athletic genes. When it comes to physical performance, there's no denying. The Biafra coast. I mean, like Nigeria and that area. That's of Senegal. Bring up Senegal. Bring up that, what's that wrestling they call? I know what you're talking about.

Grillo on Fight World did, he went to Senegal. He goes, dude, six foot six. I mean, they all look like, that's what the NFL is made up of. And that guy wrote the sports gene, Richard Bernstein, I think, sports illustrated writer, said the fastest people in the world come from that part of the world to be Afro Coast. That's where Jamaica, that's where the slave trade had gone. And they came from that area. So you can actually isolate the genes.

There you go. Lambda, lambda. Oh, wow. This is interesting. They're like pawing at each other. Oh, bro. And they're all giant. Why are they pawing at each other?

Athletic as fuck. Huh? Because they punch and they wrestle and they do high-level Greco shit. Watch this. This is punching too? No, you'll see. Watch this high-level Greco shit. They throw.

Sangalese Wrestling in Dakar Championship. Beautiful. It's La Luta is the title of the video. Yep. L-A space L-U-T-T-E. Sangalese Wrestling in Dakar Championship. Now, they're working for position. of the video. Yep. L-A space L-U-T-T-E. Uh-huh. The L-A space L-U-T-T-E. Uh-huh. Sengalese wrestling in Dakar.

Yeah. Championship. Now, they're working for position, but, and if you see some of these guys, you see what their bodies look like. It's so. They're jacked. It's so ridiculous. Like, they live on fish and rice.

I mean, Frank went there. It's so poor. And he said, you just see dudes where you're like, well, if I had a body like that, I would never wear clothes. So, I don't understand what they're doing here. They're just getting position. Whoever gets thrown. These guys are rock stars in Senegal. Okay. They need coaching.

No, no, you'll see. They punch. Let me tell you something. Cain Velasquez shoots a power double on these motherfuckers. You're on the back of the sand. Sir, I'm going to ask you to... No, that's true. Is that for five minutes? I skipped ahead five minutes.ipped ahead five minutes They're still

Because they're waiting To get positioned Hold It's like sumo dude This is nonsense Oh exactly It's nonsense No

Excuse me Oh a little inside trip Oh a punch Oh they're punching each other Yeah dude Oh shit Dude this is serious Oh shit

They're punching from the clinch Yeah bro Wow This is fighting He has to adjust his headband Yeah You gotta always adjust your headband Time

Time What are they doing time Time That's it That's the match No Maybe not I'm confused

Hold Keep going Well there's gotta be a better one You gotta see the heavyweights The heavyweights are The championship I figured it'd be Maybe it just sucks

And you're really into it Because it's foreign Sir That's possible too I'm telling you I've seen some incredible Lambdas Those dudes are playing patty cakes, bro. You will respect Lambdas.

Okay, let's see another one. Kickboxing world champion. Oh, go to the far right one. That one. Okay. Here we go. Now we'll see what's up. Kickboxing world champion challenges Sanguinese wrestlers.

Who is this kickboxing world champion? It's like a documentary. That's different. I don't care. I want to see who it is. It's not like I've got to find the fight. Oh, is it like an hour long or some shit? Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff going on here.

Who is this kickboxing world? They're Sufi Muslims. So they're hanging out with them. Very, very spiritual. Who's the kickboxing world? Okay. Say his name, Brian. Oraline Duarte.

Oraline. Oraline Duarte. Duarte. French multiple kickboxing Muay Thai and Shotokan karate champion. Sounds like me. So it looks like he's learning from these folks. I don't think he's really challenging them. Okay, let's see what happens.

There we go. Look at my man right there. Instead of staying still. What does it say? Instead of staying still. Just let it go. Let's see what happens here Are they wrestling? Yeah

Oh so they're wrestling But what It's all But let me see that dude Back up a little I want to see that dude The kickboxing guy Interact with him

There we go You're not doing Okay let's see Throws Okay they're just teaching him How to throw Oh they're just teaching him how to throw. Oh, they're teaching him some technique. That's kind of cool that they do it on the beach, though.

That's smart. That's a duck under right there. It took his back. Yeah. Standard wrestling. They know some wrestling technique. Wrestling is, you know, you could make the argument that wrestling, would you say that wrestling is probably the best thing you could ever do

coming up if you want to get into MMA? Like to have that base? Yes. I think wrestling is the most important sport. Yeah. Because you see guys like Kamaru Usman is a perfect example who was just on the podcast. He's another example of awesome African genes. But he's an excellent example of a guy who really didn't start striking at all until 2009.

But he's been watching how your body moves forever. Yeah, he's been watching and fucking around, but it doesn't matter. The way he strikes now, you would think he's been doing it his whole life, and he's been only striking for 10 years. I think wrestlers are just tougher. Kamaru was saying that his knees were so fucked up

before some of his fights that he had to walk on grass because it hurt to walk on concrete. Oh my God. Really? Yeah, his daughter makes fun of him

because he goes down the stairs backwards. Oh. Because he goes down the stairs backwards. No. Yes, yes.

She thinks it's hilarious. By the way, when I see him like, you know, I saw him with Rashad Evans and he looked as big as Rashad. He's a big fella. Yeah fella yeah but here's the thing he couldn't be a nicer guy he's great he couldn't be a nicer guy and when you hear him talk on the podcast he's he's like he's so almost soft-spoken he's easygoing you know it's like it's weird that he's so good but

in the way he describes it when he gets inside the cage a switch gets flipped yeah and he just becomes a different person i felt like um all due respect to the great tyron woodley but he did he his body looked a little different and he looked a little bit um i don't know he didn't look as he didn't look the way he normally does i heard that too i didn't see it i didn't see it and i look for that shit his body looks like he looks like go to i don't know about that man go to uh tyron woodley versus kamaru usman see if you could get a the video of the two of them right about the fight why why are you shaking your head so new i don't know if we can so new just happened so what it's not online yet that shit's online everything's online

you don't think it's online how much you want to bet this is the line we cross right there i guess well we don't have to show it like people show you guys yeah show us just show us people find it go to you're gonna have to go to espn from now on folks all fights are on espn all pay-per-views espn plus you have to get a subscription for espn plus if you want to get all pay-per-views espn plus you have to get a subscription for espn plus if you want to get a pay-per-view now yes yes strange yeah that's a good word strange is good word you i love you know like i have certain favorite fighters of course uh don serrani i love nick diaz yeah um but uh j Masvidal. He's a beast. I just love, I love, like, just a true fighter.

He's an animal. And he's so good. So good. He's so fucking good. He's so smart. Oh, he's so smart, man. Clever. Changes it up.

Yeah. Does things like, you can't see what he's doing. It's subtle. He lives for fighting, too. He really does. Oh. He's a fucking smart man. Like, there are men

And then there's horse Horses Mosquito For sure he's on another level Beast For sure he's on another level He's He's

I think he's such a contender For I mean he just Dude he's 100% a contender When was the last time he lost Knocked out cowboy And then takes two years Out of the octagon

I don't know what He must have had an injury And takes on Darren Till And then knocked out Darren Till I mean knocked him the fuck out. I mean, he hit him with that left hand a couple times earlier in the fight, too. He was doing some sneaky shit. He was switching stances.

Yeah. He was switching stances and throwing that left hand. Yeah. He was throwing the right hand, switching stances, throwing the left hand. And I think he started to read Till pulling back like that. And then he finally threw that right and then boom with that left he'd caught him with that left hand several times caught him in the first round and then caught him in the second round he's a he's a bad motherfucker man he really is he's coming on soon too i'm gonna have him on

with joey diaz masvidal is gonna come on with joey diaz get a little but may also be able to get knocked down like that by darren till who hits like you know and come back and just regain his composure knocked down with the first punch of the fight oh it was the first punch of the fight i know and smiled and went yeah it's all right but you see what he did the first move of the fight he charges towards till and tries to side kick him in the thigh and hits him in the dick yeah like right away first shot right to the sack yep yeah. Yeah. I love that guy. I love watching him fight. Well, he's very crafty. He's a real veteran.

I remember him knocking out Eve Edwards in Bodog fight. Do you remember Bodog fight? No. Bodog, you know who Calvin Ayers is? He's some super millionaire playboy character who he came up with this Bodog fight thing. And it was back when you used to be able to gamble online right you were able to gamble online now you can again but you used to be able to gamble online a lot of businesses were sort of constructed around the premise that online gambling was going to be legal but through some bullshit finagling the federal government put the kibosh on online gambling they

put the stop on this thriving business right and a lot of these companies like there was professional pool organizations like the ipt that went under because they were counting on online gambling but bodog was counting on it too because he had like this online gambling website well because of the the online gambling shit he's like i don't want to say this i don't want to be incorrect because dana white was saying that he's a fugitive he wasn't even allowed in the country but that's not too far removed from the truth i don't think he's allowed back in the united states i think he has to live in like you know just for providing a service people wanted to be part of? Well, for being a part of online gambling when it was illegal.

I think that's the issue. Oh, no. It's fucking stupid. I mean, let people do what they will. I think it would be cool if you could bet on fights. Tyron Woodley versus Kamaru Usman. The fighters would get more money and everything. We'll see what Tyron Usman looks jacked.

Let's see what Tyron looks like when he gets into the cage. See, to me, he looked exactly the same. Let's see what happens when he takes his shirt off. Hurry up, Tyron. He's a beast. Yeah, I just don't think that was it, man. I mean, you're also dealing with Tyron. He's 37 now.

He is also in the middle of uh he's in a transitionary stage in terms of his career so he doesn't look quite as jacked yeah but he's he's like not i mean he's a beast i mean i'm you know he's pretty goddamn good to me yeah he always does and i just see him blood you know i'm saying he's not like... That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Looks pretty good. Hard to say. Great fighter, man.

Yeah, he's 36. I think he's 37 now. He's also got a rap career now. He's opening for Wiz Khalifa. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does a bunch of shit for TMZ now. He's a busy man on top of the fighting.

Good. Let him parlay that shit. Get out of the fight game. Yes. He has nothing to prove. Well, he's one of those guys that can do that too. He's a great talker. Yep.

He would be a great commentator if he decided to get into commentary. 100%. But he wants a rematch. I don't think he's happy with his performance, and I think he thinks he could have done better. Let's not just look like a bigger in a different weight class man well usman's definitely taller but i think even more importantly usman's gas tank is just fucking it's well that's what's crazy and i feel like tyron may have done a lot of cardio for that camp because he knew he was gonna have to deal deal with that. So he looked a little thinner than he normally does. Well, Usman just pushes the pace. He pushes that fucking pace.

That's such a weapon. Some guys can do that. That's such a weapon. Well, he can do it for five rounds too, man. He doesn't get off the gas. He was pretty honest too. He's a funny man when he was talking about the fourth round because in the fourth round he had Tyron hurt,

and he poured the gas on, just poured the gas on, and Tyron managed to survive. on and tyron managed to survive and uh when tyron managed to survive he was thinking to himself oh no what have i done but he recovered quick yeah you know yeah yeah he does look a lot bigger though huh yeah he's just nice and skinny legs though in comparison to tyron in comparison you know also skinny legs john jones exactly john john jones you look at john jones calves only if you only saw his calves so weird and someone said to you all right is that guy an elite athlete like get the fuck out of here that guy's an accountant exactly there's no way

that there are a lot of guys like that where you just don't judge a book by its cover you'll go to sleep yeah but john jones is the most well his upper body obviously looks pretty strong. He's also 6'5". I mean, it's a different thing. Well, he's got a phenomenal frame for combat sports because he's got length, but he also has muscle. I think that's the best frame. That's not

real. That's not real. That's photoshopped, asshole. That's real? That's photoshopped. Trust me. Those are his calves, dude. No, they're not that small. Yes, they are. Those ankles don't even fit into his shoes. Those are his. He's got very skinny.

He has no calves. He does, but that last one was, that's ridiculous. But he's such a stud. The one up there is a perfect one. We're throwing that kick right there. How do you game plan for that terrible kick? That's photoshopped. They cut off the back of his leg there.

What are you talking about? I don't know, man. That's his leg. No. Look at that. That's his leg, bro. That's not a real leg. There's his leg there. What are you talking about? I don't know, man. That's his leg. No. Look at that. That's his leg, bro. That's not a real leg. You don't think so? That's 100% photoshopped. You can see the blur on the photoshopped one. Is that blurred? Yes.

From a guy that does photoshop every single day. Yeah, that's photoshopped. You do photoshop every single day? What are you doing online? I make our logo. Oh, I thought you were doing weird shit. Make me more muscular. I edit a photo every single day. Make me stronger. Give Brian abs.

I need to get on TOT. Let me see. Well, we know John has skinny calves. Point being. How do you defend against that terrible front kick to the fucking stomach every time? Well, he likes to throw it to the thigh, too. Yeah. He throws that oblique kick to the thigh and the side kick to the knees

you know all it's interesting when i see people criticizing that kick i'm like you're crazy that they're kicking people in the face yeah you're mad they're kicking them in the knee like oh you can ruin a career like oh you can't ruin a career by head kicking somebody like wonder boy was saying that about darren till he thought darren till was trying to ruin his career by side kicking him in the knee. And he doesn't think that technique should be legal. Damn. Like, hey, man.

I mean, I get it. You're head kicking people. Yeah. Wheel kicked Jake Ellenberger in the fucking head. Yeah. How good is that for your career? Not so good. Come on, man.

That's a brutal sport, man. Yeah, it is. It's as brutal as it gets man but it's not the worst thing for your body i think football is the worst but some dudes don't get hit like masvidal is another example of that i don't think i've seen him i don't know when the last time i saw him actually get cracked was he's so good at opening punch from darren tiller we're talking about obviously yeah that's true mighty mouse is the best example mighty mouse gets hit less than anybody but there's there's other guys that they're very hard to hit.

You also get hit in practice though. I know a lot of guys though who don't spar like that anymore. Yeah. I think Robbie Lawler stopped doing it. I think Cowboy. Robbie stopped sparring completely for years while he was fighting for Strikeforce. But then

when he moved to American Top Team, he started sparring again and he was training really hard. That's then when he moved to American top team, he started sparring again, and he was training really hard. That's when actually he became the welterweight world champion. He's so fucking tough. I want to see that Askren fight again because I put my money on Robbie Lawler. He does not care about it. He looked better than I've ever seen him.

He's in crazy shape. I've gone back and forth about five times on whether or not that was a good stoppage but usman convinced me after we watched the footage that was a bad stoppage yeah i think robbie was okay i think uh he just relaxed he was there he had what how i don't know how many more seconds but that bulldog joke's a nightmare but yeah not for robbie lawler i think he was all right but it's hard to tell it It's just unfortunate. And again, Herb Dean is as good a referee as there is on planet Earth. There is no one better than him. There's no one better. Herb Dean is as good as it gets.

He made a mistake, but it's hard to say if it was a mistake, because I wasn't even sure it was a mistake. We were not sure. Well, it better to err on the side of caution, because he couldn't hear him. He couldn't talk. But, here's the thing. He's only getting choked out. Like, if it's Ben Askren, he's only getting choked out like if it's ben askren it's only he's only get choked out if it's francis and gano and he's fucking punching you in

the head and you think you're unconscious yeah then stop the fight but if it's just a choke like ben askren is not known for being in any way shape or form a power striker no and he's not hitting him he's only only holding onto his neck. I don't think... But that shows how tough Ben Askren was because he got his head bounced off that fucking... I was like, you're getting crushed here. And he's just like, whatever.

Yeah. I'm going to stick to my wrestling. Yeah, he was getting fucking pounded. But he figured it out. And even though they disengaged, he managed to get a hold of robbie again and get him on the ground and get that choke on yeah look it was it was fun while it lasted but he doesn't want to fight robbie again i think if i was the ufc i would be uh absolutely trying to make that

fight again do you think they will i think they want to that's what dana white said but ben said why would i want to do that i already went i already won why would I want to do that? I already won. Why would I want to do that? But the thing about, you know, like Kamara was saying, like, you don't get a choice. Like, the UFC is going to tell you who to fight again. Maybe they just offer Ben a good amount of money. Offer him some sweet, sweet cash. Robbie is, you know, he deserves that privilege, and I think he's easily up there, and he can always be the champion again.

Well, even more importantly. He looks as good as he ever looked. Yes. Better. He looked amazing. Better. He looked amazing physically. He looked amazing when he was fighting.

Yeah. Even more importantly, I think that's the fight that makes the most money because people want to see that. I want to see it. You want to see it. All the real fans want to see it. Yeah. They don't do enough of that in UFC.

They do sometimes. But what I was going to say is that to see it. They don't do enough of that in USC. They do sometimes. But what I was going to say is that he deserves it. Jesus, no one deserves it more than Stipe Miocic. Stipe loses to DC and we haven't heard hide nor hair of him. He's the fucking most successful heavyweight of all time. He defended the title four times. No one's ever been able to do that. He does that and he gets nothing after that

no love no respect no nothing it's incredible no talk about him fighting dc again you know they're just talking about dc brock lesnar they don't even know brock lesnar is really gonna fight isn't dc kind of retired no dc wants to fight brock he's gonna fight brock and he's gonna retire he's gonna just gonna get that to me the most impressive fighter to ever step in the octagon is Daniel Cormier he's certainly one of them how is he more impressive when John Jones beat him

because well so John Jones is without a doubt the most talented and best fighter to me with the tools that DC is working with when you're 5'9 5'10 and you you know you just With the tools that DC is working with, when you're 5'9", 5'10", and you're dealing with guys who are so much taller, with so much more reach, he's undefeated as a heavyweight.

The only man he's ever lost to was Jon Jones. And everybody else, all comers, Steve Amios, just give me a number. And he's taken every one of them out. Listen, I'm a giant fan of DC. He's just incredible. Don't get me wrong. It just shows you how good Jon Jones is or Jon Jones has his number, whatever the case. It's both.

I'd like to see DC fight Jon Jones at heavyweight. Me too. 240? That might happen. That might be the big fight. The big fight might be if DC fights Brock, let's assume he beats Brock, which I think he would, then DC fights Jon Jones. Yeah.

But he might not beat Brock. Here's the thing about Brock, and this is so ridiculous to say, he's still a fucking giant Viking human. Yeah. He's so extraordinarily big. Yeah. He's so powerful that if he clips DC, anything can happen. Yeah, but he's going a he's gonna get punched in the face by dc and i think i personally believe that if you are not getting punched in the face

and working on patterns and really working on your striking you get into the ring with a guy like daniel cormier who does that every day true but we don't know that's in the jaw we don't we don't know that that's a case we also know that he has been wrestling with this Michigan State wrestler that's one of the best wrestlers on the planet Earth. There's video of him wrestling with this current phenom. And he's training with real elite world-class fighters. Who knows what he's doing with his striking. Yeah, but Daniel Cormier's got that down and he's also...

Brock is also the WWE champ, bro. I don't know if you know. There is that. He's throwing people around. There is that. Got hit with a chair. You're right. I don't know, man.

I'm putting all my money on DC. I would say that DC would be heavily favored. Yeah. I would also say that that big gorilla can fucking punch any person on the planet with those lunchbox fists, and you're fucked. He's so big, man. Yeah. When you stand next to Brock, you're just like, fists and you're fucked he's so big man yeah when you stand next to brock you're just like oh you're a totally different thing than me silverback yeah he's as close to a silverback as i've ever seen he's a viking man yeah you know it's a long arms

giant human yeah ridiculous fists the the real question is i mean how much has he really been working on his striking in in these years that he's been outside of the cage? It's much easier to work on your wrestling if you're him than it is striking. Striking is a whole different animal. Well, particularly sparring. Not just hitting mitts and hitting the pad, but getting good rounds in against people that can crack. And people that can crack like DC, where he clinches you and then hits you in the clinch. And also learning how to adjust.

Like the great fighters that I notice are guys who they come in with a game plan. That game plan gets shut down and then they change it up. Right. Then they do subtle things. They just start doing little differences. And you go, oh, you're doing a whole different thing here. Yeah. And that guy can't see it.

Or a lot of people can't see it. And that's what I think is amazing. Then there's the other thing. He's got to get off the sauce. Yeah. So he got off the sauce. So if he gets off the sauce, now he's 40. And he's been on Mexican supplements for the last few years for sure.

Yeah. And your whole endocrine system is just like, whee, what's going on? Hey, where's my roids? Good luck. Yeah. Yeah. I Hey, where's my roids? Good luck. Yeah, yeah. I mean, who knows? Who knows? I'm going to have to get myself on some.

I'm looking forward to getting on a TRT. I don't feel like I need it yet. Shut up, bitch. I've got energy. You should be on it right now. Really? You should be on it a long time ago. You think so?

100%. I've been telling you forever. I know. I know. I want to keep squeezing every little ounce of man energy that I have. Well, it's real. I mean, you can do it without it, but you won't be as healthy. You won't be as strong.

You won't have as much energy. I have a lot of energy. You've got some energy. Yeah. The best thing would be if they could figure out a way to revitalize your body's natural production of testosterone that's similar to the way it is when you are a 30-year-old man. They could really do that.

Right now, they can't. Right now, you can only add it. Right. You can get your... But there's a lot of other stuff going on. If you listen to that podcast that I did with – what's the doctor's name? Anti-aging doctor. Oh, David Sinclair.

David Sinclair. Yeah. There's a lot of factors. There's a lot of different things that you can do. NMN, resveratrol, all these different things that significantly – I want those things. I want MNM. NMN.

What is NMN? It's a telomere elongator or something? Yes. It lengthens your telomeres. Whatever the fuck telomeres are. The best sign of telomeres, well, let's Google the actual definition of telomeres. But it's

the best sign of whether or not your body's aging correctly. Where do I get good resveratrol? Resveratrol. Resveratrol. And resveratrol? Resveratrol. Resveratrol. And resveratrol. You get it online. Really?

Yeah. That little container out there, you could take that if you want. I got shit loads of it. Yeah? Yeah. Good. I got a lot of it. I want to live forever.

Yeah, when he told me about it, I started taking it every day. I take it every day with my morning vitamins. I've been eating a lot of meat. You have? He says no. I don't listen to him. Right?

I don't listen to him He also says to take I listen to him when it's convenient to me It all depends Telomeres, also called telomere terminal transferase Is an enzyme made of protein and RNA Subunits that elongates chromosomes By adding TTAGGG, oh, triple G, sequences to

the end of existing chromosomes. Telomerase is found in fetal tissues, adult germ cells, and also tumor cells, the result of aging cells in an aging body. So it just slows down aging. I'll tell you what, man, that NMN stuff makes me feel great. It does? 100%, yeah.

Gives me a lot of energy. Really? Yeah. How about getting O'Bri some? I'll get you some. Yeah. Unless you want me to die faster. No, I love you.

All right, well, go ahead. Get me some fucking... Let's go. Unless you want me to die faster. I mean, is this a competition? I've been trying to get you on TRT for 10 years. I'll get on TRT too. I got on it 10 years ago and I was telling you, dude, you should be on this. Like, yeah, I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm still nervous about it, but I'm going to do some testosterone. What are you nervous about? I want to get thick. I want to go like this. I want to go like that. I want to go and jump off a building and glide to the fucking ground.

You want to look at something like that? Dude, you got a nice body. Let's go ahead and lose that shirt. Let's get you moving around in the over there scared um yeah i wish there was a way to do it naturally and i think there's going to be i think they're going to be able to do it through some sort of gene manipulation that will turn on your butt they're they're so close to doing this to mice where they're literally reversing the age of a mouse. So ridiculous.

And Sinclair was talking about this. And I've had some conversations with some other people that are really deeply entrenched in the world of genetic engineering and CRISPR and all the new innovations. They're going to be able to do that. It's a matter of when. I think when we're 80, there's a high probability that by the time you and I are 80 you're going to be able to be 20 again I'm not bullshitting

I think that's real there's that gene that people can get just 5 hours of sleep that wakefulness thing it's in 3% of the population it's called Adderall there's that too but there's one gene

where you can and why we sleep he was talking about it but also um my friend has that gene his genome and the doctor goes you have that gene frank willow because you have that gene because i know he doesn't sleep at all i'm always like how do you sleep five hours he goes i just wake up and he's fully awake and he works out for fucking two hours and and i've i've only met one other dude like that and that's a gene that's vanishingly rare and some people can can get five to six hours of sleep five hours and achieve total wakefulness they're going to be able to do that yeah they're going to be able to manipulate your eyesight with germs they're going to be able to inject you with a germ that repairs your eyesight what's going on with this bitch? I can't wait. UC San Francisco neurology professor Ying-Hu Fu, PhD,

discovered the mutation of the gene DEC2 in a family of natural short sleepers, people who go to bed at normal time, 11 p.m., midnight, but usually wake up naturally at 5 a.m. I wonder if Jocko has that shit. Probably. I think he just gets up with pure hate. Nah, he probably has that gene. I don't believe that self-control...

I don't believe that discipline and self-control last only so long. I wish he was right next to you. Change your tune and start sucking his dick. Jocko's kind of tough. He's terrifying. Black belt in jiu-jitsu. He's a 240-pound serial killer. Oh, is he that thick?

Yes. I didn't know he was that big. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. Jocko's a tank. Oh, I 240 pound serial killer. Oh, is he that thick? I didn't know he was that big. Oh my God. Oh, Jesus. Jocko's a tank. Oh, I didn't know that. Dude, he's an inch taller than me and he weighs 240 pounds. Oh, come on. You don't know what Jocko looks like? What is he, a fucking white Samoan? Dude, Jocko taps Dean Lister in training. What? Yes. You don't understand what you're talking about. Oh, he's a freak.

He's a gorilla. Yeah, he is. Look at him. Yeah, he's a... What is that picture of him with his shirt off? Some men are just men Is that him I don't think that's him Click on it Let's see it It's not him

No it's not him No Yeah He's a gorilla dude That's stupid He's getting into bow hunting You should too Yeah he's a killer

Don't you want to be like us He's a born warrior Yeah I went pheasant hunting With my boy Tarek And his brother Fun right Went to blast Flush and pheasant

Did you cook them Huh Did you cook the pheasants Yeah I ate pheasants Oh that's what you told me in Napa, right? Oh, in Sonoma. Oh, Sonoma. Next time you come out, we'll go.

My boy Tariq has got it locked down. We eat. We shoot pheasant, and then you eat the best pheasant and drink the best wine. There's nothing better. And smoke cigars and hang out. Tell me a better time. Tell me a better time. This is Jake's buddy?

Jake Shields' buddy? Yeah, Jake Shields' buddy. He corners Jake. Yeah. Tariq Azim teaches me boxing. He's got this incredible gym called Empower. I go there in San Francisco. I go to San Francisco just to hang out with him.

Where is it? Is this you guys? That would be me running, getting cardio. Did you have a dog to fetch the birds? Sure did. German Shorthair. Oh, okay. And my buddy Tariq Azim, and shout out to him.

Why are you running with a gun, though, dude? Because I get my cardio. Isn't that a loaded gun? Don't do that. Looks like I have a mustache there. It does look like you have a mustache right now. Are you growing one? No, I just got some facial hair, bro.

It seems like you're dancing with it. Listen, dude, I grow hard. I grow hard. If I take a poo and I push hard, I grow a mustache. Interesting. Yeah. Do you try? Nah, it just happens.

It just happens? I like being manly. I like shooting pheasant okay and by the way you flush them and then they fly up and they're about six feet in front of you and we're still missing still fucking of course it's so annoying i went pheasant hunting once with uh bourdain oh you did yeah i shot one in the feather i shot its feather blew a piece of its feather off and it flew away and laughed at me. Probably took a shit in my general direction. It's true.

I only caught off one shot. Look, public land hunting is hard. Most of the hunting that I do is on private land. It's public land hunting. There's a lot of pressure. A lot of people out there doing it. Oh, yeah. Well, animals get smart.

Well, they get smart. And there's the argument. There's two arguments, and I support both of them. One argument is that public land hunting is harder, and you should really be more proud of success on public land because it's for everybody. It's not an elitist thing. It's very difficult to do.

You've got to really put in the work. You've got to have discipline. I get that argument. But the problem that I have with it is, first of all, I don't have a lot of time, and I like success. But two, the animals, when they're pressured, they don't act normal. They don't call as much, like elk. Elk in particular, in a high-pressure area, it's a problem with wolves. When wolves move into areas, the elk just shut down all the calling.

One of the coolest things about elk hunting is they fucking scream. The first time I ever went elk hunting with Cam Ains, we took me elk hunting. I remember this morning, we're out there in this basin. You hear just... You hear them screaming. It's still dark out. We're walking. I'm like, this is the fucking coolest thing I've ever heard in in my life just hearing them scream and yelling at each other and trying to fight

off the other males and you hear their their horns clashing against each other because their antlers are they're they're fighting and is this on public land or is this this was on private land yeah yeah because i for me a lot of the hunting and we need to do it again by the way yeah i don't it's not so much about killing the animal it's the camaraderie yes like like so i'm on this they stock this field with these pheasant i'm not there to kill the pheasant i love the meats and stuff and but but it's more the experience with my two friends and we're out there with a dog i like to say that too but i like to kill elk i like to eat them i like the food i like the meat yeah i live off elk if you check my dna it's 65 elk i need some i'm not bullshitting i eat so much of it god i feel fucking great i bet i mean i think there's something to it

i do too it's when i say i eat a lot of dude i'm eating this dark red protein that's good for it's coming from these wild animals that are dodging mountain lions that shit's good for you yeah you take the life force of the animal into you man there's something about that you know i swear to god and even the pheasant like you know it's it's there's just something there's something about looking for an animal that focuses your mind and even in something as lame as when they're roosting on a field you got the dog and the dog points yeah it's exciting you know you like fishing i had what's that you like fishing i don't i'm not a good fisher i'm sure

if i learned how to fish but fishing is technique which i didn't know i grew up fishing oh you did yeah i was real i was in the bass angler sportsman society when i was uh like 13 years old you were competitive weren't you no i mean i just like to fish. Yeah. I mean, competitive with my friends. You always want to catch the biggest fish. But there's something about fishing, man. There's something about casting a line. And the best to me is like a top water bait. Like you cast a plug and you see it land on the water, pauses, the ripples sort of spread

out, and then you give it a twitch. Give it another twitch. And you let it pause again. and then a big explosion of water they got that motherfucker like oh shit dude my little daughter my youngest is 100 hooked on fishing really she caught a six pound bass in florida yeah man i'm just it it geeks me out to no end because she's my little fishing buddy like we were we were in maui and when we were maui we went um we went hunting or hunting we went and caught a yellowtail and uh she caught a gang of yellowtail and this little tiny girl like a 10 pound yellowtail is a motherfucker to try to reel in oh yeah they're so hard to reel in and she was

reeling them in on her own man i mean all i had to do is hold the rod because it literally would have yanked the rod out of her hands i'm trying to show you a picture that's amazing i got a picture in here somewhere take my daughter fishing dude it's fun man and then you know with with the bass we let them go okay here's here's here's her with a six pound bass perfect with the with the bass we let him go it was a catch and release deal um but the yellowtail we ate that that night so the whole family ate something that she caught god that's good she loved that's huge she's so excited by it she got so she just she beams with pride just a little tiny girl yeah you know and she's holding on to this rod she would not let me reel it in she's like do you want me i go do you want me to reel it in she's

like no she had two hands on it going just cranking and i'm holding on to it and she she made sure she pulled it into the boat too like she's obsessed it's awesome i love that once i think once you've felt what it's like to catch a fish and then cook it and eat it once. And by the way, if you've never had really fresh fish. It's amazing. Like really fresh fish is so flavorful and delicious and just a little bit of butter and lemon on it and a little bit of seasoning. I've done that plenty of times. I've gone on organized fishing, you know, and deep sea fishing.

You know what we should do? We should organize a gig in Alaska in July during the salmon run. That's a great idea. We'll do a gig up there in Anchorage. We'll catch some salmon for a few days. Dude. Do a gig to pay for the whole trip. Yeah.

Just have a good time. Ari and I did that a few years back. I would love to do that, dude. Ari and I did that and we caught some giant salmon. Let's do that. We caught some king salmon that were like 30 pounds. Wow. That was amazing.

Wow. I ate salmon for fucking months. Jesus. Yeah. I love that. It's so fun. I'd love to do that. But you know what's fucked?

The mosquitoes. It's crazy. The worst. You never see anything like it. It's like an assault. Yeah. It's like a gang violence situation. I saw it in Indonesia when I was tracking orangutans in the rainforest i was 21 or whatever and i thought

i wanted to be a naturalist yeah right i love that story about the ants oh dude fuck forget the ants you had to carry a sulfur coil because bug repellent didn't work on those mosquitoes you had to carry around a sulfur coil look at that that's ari in the sand look at our the great outdoorsman fucking salmon great jewish outdoors that is a big ass salmon yeah it is is there any more pictures of our fish i think there's one picture there's one other thing but i I didn't check that. That's a big ass fish though. Look at Ari. Handsome bastard. Yeah. It's fun, man.

I love fishing. I really wish there was a place close to my house where I could fish. It's very peaceful. You know, like fish for your breakfast, catch a trout. Yeah. And then, you know, cook that motherfucker in a pan right there on the shore. Oh. It's incredible.

So nice. You know what they have a lot of and people want to hunt them? just in napa valley a shitload of mountain lion yeah they can't hunt them though no they're everywhere though apparently too many of them yeah there's a real dumb thing because they do hunt them but they hunt them with professional hunters that the state has to hire because they get depredation permits because these things start killing livestock or dogs or... Well, they grabbed a llama. One of them grabbed a llama and jumped over the fence with the llama. In its mouth.

Yeah. I mean, that's fucking nuts. You can't do that. It's crazy. I train, but... But even if you train, you put it on your back. Let's say if you put a llama in a backpack. Say you got like a fucking Kefaru backpack. Yeah, good luck.

Stuff the llama in there. You had the whole llama. You zipped it in. Okay, go over that fence. You'd be like, what? My buddy who's a guide in Alaska, my buddy Chad, he said that they were climbing up this mountain. It was a fucking nightmare. Like just slogging up this steep mountain.

And they were like looking up. And they're like, God damn, this is a nightmare. And you know, you're making like inches. Yeah. Just like, oh,

oh, and you got a backpack and it's just like, when is this going to be over? And don't try not to think about it. Let's take a break. You know? Yeah.

And they just hear this and they just see this grizzly with an elk in its mouth and it just bounds up the mountain. It just goes, shagging, shagging, and right by them with an elk in its mouth and it just bounds up the mountain it just goes shagging shagging right by them with a with a with an elk in its mouth and just goes up over the mountain and over the ridge just no problem in 12 seconds and they were like well that's a grizzly that's how strong a fucking grizzly is and this is me jesus christ i i don't want to get that's i'm so

terrified of i'm terrified i don't want to fuck get fucked up by a chimpanzee a chimpanzee will eat my face and my balls so i don't want that and i definitely don't want to get attacked by a grizzly because they'll start eating you when you're still alive yeah and that's a problem most of the time when grizzlies eat people though or most time when grizzlies kill people they're not killing someone because they want to eat them they're killing someone because you startled them and they're with their females, the females with their cubs. Oh. That's most of it.

So what happens when, what are you supposed to do when a grizzly? Just pray? Well, if it's a female grizzly, you are literally better off letting her fuck you up. Right. You just curl up in a ball. You're supposed to put your hand behind your neck, lay in a fetal position, and don't let her get access to your organs because she wants to chew your organs apart jesus yeah it's one of the reasons why it's really important to have a strong backpack you have a strong backpack she'll fuck up that backpack while you're on on your you know on your knees curled up in a fetal position

but that's assuming you can survive that she's probably going to break your arms she's probably going to snap your legs bite into you in ways that you can't imagine the kind of force and power she can generate i mean she's trying to immobilize you she wants to immobilize you as a threat to her children but a male if a male's trying to kill you it's usually because he's starving to death they don't recognize people as a food source because they rarely eat people so that male he probably has never eaten a person it's one of the reasons why it's safer to be in a place where they hunt grizzlies because in a place where they hunt grizzlies a grizzly sees a person who goes fuck this they'll smell you and get the

fuck out of there right but like yellowstone they haven't hunt grizzlies there in forever so people still get jacked there they get jacked there every couple of years i would always have a gun with me. You should, but you might not be able to get to it. And you also have to be able to prepare to pull it out and shoot quickly. You can't think that just because you have a gun, you're going to be okay. No, because you don't hear them coming up on you. They come up so fast.

They move so fast. They run fast as a dog. And they're huge. Is that true? Yes. They run fast as fuck, man. Fuck. And they're huge. I mean, it's a giant animal, man. What is it, 800 pounds? Sure. Is that true? Yes. They run fast as fuck, man. Fuck. And they're huge.

I mean, it's a giant animal, man. What is it, 800 pounds? Sure. Think about that. Sure. I just stumbled across a story about this just happening where the bear spray didn't work

and it was attacking the guide and the client went to grab the Glock out of the pack and it didn't fire. Then the bear came after him so he tried to throw the gun to the other guy and then it didn't that guy just ran it i guess i just gotta follow this story who died it doesn't i don't i didn't find out i mean it happens all the time the best story is ranella's story uh ranella and remy warren and janice putellis and our friends, they got attacked while they were in a Fog Neck Island in Alaska.

Jesus. When? Recently? Yes. Like two years ago. And Remy came on here and told the story. And it's fucking terrifying. God, what happened?

Well, they killed an elk. And they had hung it in a tree. And they had taken some of the meat back. Because, you know, you have to hike out. A Fog Neck is particularly dense. It's very, very dense. Remember when we were on Prince of Wales Island? Yes.

When we went on that hunt? Dense. Dense. Yeah. Well, it's like that, but even worse. And grizzlies everywhere. Yes. Grizzlies everywhere.

I have a huge problem with that. When we were on that island, that island had black bears. Yeah. Which, weirdly enough, they're not as as dangerous but they are more predatory to its people i want a giant spiked helmet and spiked collar and i want my guns in my hand and i want kevlar clothes i want an iron man suit that's right i want to be able to correct shoot rockets out of my hands that's right and i want to be able to electrify it when the when the thing bites me yes kill it and then immediately cut his head off and put it on a stake so all the other grizzly

bears know not to fuck that you. That's exactly right. Right. I like how you think. There you go. We're on it. Think like a man. Yeah, we definitely need to go on a hunt again. I know, dude.

It's so much fun. Yeah, even if it's a rifle hunt. I'll go on a rifle hunt. You just love bow hunting, huh? I love it. You bought me a bow. I was going to bring it today. How many times did you shoot it?

Zero? I never shot it. I want to do it here. I bought you a bow three years ago. I know. I'll get you a new one. No, I want that one. Hoyt comes out with new models every year. No, I like that one. I've never shot it. I want to do it here. I bought you a bow three years ago. I know. I'll get you a new one. No, I want that one. Hoyt comes out with new models every year.

No, I like that one. I've never shot it. It's a great bow. So let me get used to that one. I'll become expert. Well, what I would like you to do, honestly, what I'd like to do, and we should organize this with John Dudley, because we have access to literally the best archery coach on the planet Earth in John Dudley.

He's the best. Wow. He's so good. First of all, he was a world-class competitive archer. He competed on the world stage. He traveled all throughout the planet. So what are the principles he teaches? First of all, it's just like martial arts.

If you have a bad coach, you'll develop bad technique, and it's going to be very difficult for you to learn. You can still excel. Some people still excel with bad coaching. There's people that have just a natural ability to fight, right? And you teach them just a few things. They know how to put knuckles to your face. Some people are just better at that.

And they have a good mentality for it. But they would be way better if they were with Firas Ahabi. They would be way better if they were with Duke Rufus. There's just no doubt about it. Great coaching is imperative for achieving your full potential. 100%. That's the same thing with archery. With archery, a guy like John Dudley will put the fundamentals in the perfect position for you.

He changed my archery so much that like i had been doing archery for more than a year or so before i met him maybe a year and a half my my whole my ability jumped up 20 to 30 percent within the first couple hours of meeting him wow yeah what 100 we got video of me and him in my backyard and i'm laying these nocturnal uh arrow knocks they lit knocks so they fly through the air it looks like laser beams and i'm laying them into my elk target at like 65 yards thunk thunk thunk all of them going into the vitals well boxing is like that like oh i had uh donald serrani one time just sit there and explain to me like where to place my feet and what i was doing wrong and why more weight should be on my back foot.

But just little things like that, or my buddy Tarek, and Wayne McCulloch, of course, who I train with, but my boy Tarek, he'll teach me stuff. It comes from that MMA background, but just where you're looking, how to judge distance, and there are certain techniques to do it, or just where your back foot should be in relation to that person's foot. Just how to set things up. And some people can simplify it and teach you those basic principles where you're like, damn.

Damn, it makes such a huge difference. A huge difference. Sure. You know? Yeah. I mean, there's ways to do things correctly and people have spent their entire life learning these things and and learning how to teach these things too which is critical you know there's look i we both came from a taekwondo background and i got very very very fortunate in the the school that i found

that i stumbled into j kim taekwondo institute in boston was one of the best gyms on earth yeah i just got super lucky so i learned from the time i was a young kid i learned the right way to do things and the emphasis was always on technique yep it didn't matter how fast you were if you were doing it wrong you were corrected the russians are like that like there's this tennis um woman in in moscow who's responsible for the tennis revolution, Sharapova and all those people. And she is a coach who – she's like 77. She's got like two courts. And the kids, when they get there, I don't think they're allowed to really hit a ball for the first six months.

I mean, your swing and your positioning, she ingrains those fundamentals so that you can't do it wrong. So before you start playing tennis, you are ingraining neural pathways and patterns that are perfectly correct so that when the shit hits the fan, you get emotional. You don't know how to do it wrong. You don't know how. Right, right, right. I think Virgil Hunter and those guys do the same thing when they train. Virgil Hill?

Virgil Hill. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Virgil Hill. No, but Hunter, who is Andre Ward's coach? Virgil Hill. Isn't that right? No, I think it's Virgil Hunter.

Look that up. But what they'll do is they'll – Virgil Hill was the light heavyweight champion that Roy Jones Jr. knocked out with a body shot. You might be right. Virgil Hunter is, I think, his coach. But Virgil Hill was the light heavyweight champion that Roy Jones Jr. knocked out with a body shot um but Virgil Hunter is I think his coach but Virgil I've been talking to Andre Ward on Instagram too I gotta get a hold of him such a master get him in here he's he's not just a master he's a brilliant analyst too he's he's amazing but he was trained where the discipline of of fundamentals and perfecting your technique. Virgil Hunter. Yeah, Virgil Hunter.

Like, if you listen to Virgil Hunter, I listen to the way he speaks. And I just, I obsess over that. Like, I love watching the old school guys. There's this guy, Coach Anthony, who I watch his videos on YouTube. I think he's in Kansas City, by the way. I'd love to get in there and train with him.

But he's a guy who, like, breaks shit down in those little details and you just realize what a science boxing is and you realize like it was that awesome teddy house thing you did where he goes his boxer like you're making mistakes but then there are mortal like you're making sins but you're making mortal sins like getting hit with shots you don't see yeah he can teach you how to avoid that yeah Yeah. And that's a little detail. And everything in life is that way. It's like you want to be really good at something, get great coaching, and it's those small adjustments that make all the difference. Like the difference between the number one, the 100 tennis player in the world, and the number two tennis player in the world is that much, but it's all the difference in the world.

Yeah. Learning how to do things correctly in every single discipline is the most important thing yeah learning how to do it correctly yeah and then from there all your creativity and all your ability to improvise all comes from these perfect fundamentals that's right did you watch earl spence jr mikey garcia i did not i did not but i want to see earl spence he just looks so much bigger than mikey garcia a lot bigger yeah a lot but I want to see Earl Spence. He just looks so much bigger than Mikey Garcia. He's a lot bigger. Yeah. A lot bigger.

I want to see Earl Spence and Mr. Crawford go at it. Ooh, me too. That's going to be a fight. That's going to be a big fight. I just felt like Mikey Garcia, who I love, I'm going to watch it, but he just looked so much smaller, and Earl Spence hits too hard. He won't look that much bigger than Terrence. Terrence Crawford is about as big.

They're basically the same size. He's a genius. He's a guy who changes things up, man. He's a genius. He's always thinking. And he'll come out and fight the first five rounds of the southpaw, and you think you got him figured out. And then he'll switch stances and fuck you up.

It's so weird. Yeah. That kind of genius, that kind of high fight IQ is crazy. What's also that ambidextrous ability is so critical. I mean, that was Marvin Hagler. Marvin Hagler used to switch back and forth, and you couldn't do jack shit about it. He would fight you as a southpaw just as good as he'd fight you orthodox. And you didn't know what the fuck was coming next.

Duran could do that. There was that fighter who said, I can't. He's reading my mind. He came back and he's reading my mind. He goes, what? He goes, he knows what I'm going to do before I do it. Well, Duran understood those patterns so well. He could just cut you off. He'd just be like, I know what I'm going to do before I do it. Well, Duran understood those patterns so well, he could just cut you off.

He'd just be like, I know what you're going to do. I can see already what you're setting up before you do it. Yeah, that's like jujitsu. You know, you're in a role with someone who's really good. I watched Henner. I watched Henner Gracie. They know what you're doing way before you're going to do it. I watched Henner Gracie take Brennan Schaub, Liotta Machida.

I mean, all these guys, these killers. I was like, he was starting on his back and they were on top of him and he would choke them out. I was like, what? Yeah, he lets them take his back. But again, he's so far ahead of them. He knows what you're going to do so he can cut you off. It's like every time

I try to move around with Wayne McCullough, like he'll just, he just, no matter what I'm doing, I'm doing the winky right thing. I'm keeping my hands here. I'm like, there's no, and he just finds your face and he's touching you and it's like everything. Right. I mean, things get, you get better at everything. I mean, like, you know, that feeling that you get when you watch someone has only been

doing standup like a year and you see them going on in front of a crowd and you see them choking up and panicking and maybe rushing a joke or being awkward i have to run away yeah but then ladies and gentlemen here's your next comic brian callan you could just go up and just loose and relax you've seen it all before what i do but this is what i like what i like is that there are all these things that you can do like that where you just get better if you keep doing it you learn more i think learning things and there's an art to learning yeah there's an art to learning but i think it's so critical to enjoying life i think that's one of the like learning stuff and doing

difficult things where you can see incremental improvement that's that's based on your effort and your concentration i think these are really important for happiness a hundred percent i think about all of our friends that are really happy we're all pursuing things also i know where to place my energy and i can see myself getting better but more importantly i can not only do i see myself getting better but i i come to understandings when i'm writing stand-up now when i'm thinking of what my next my next one hour is going to be i i'm i start kind of like getting to what i think about in essence like where am i right now i've kind of arrived at a place i set these goals for myself and now what now what now i gotta stand still maybe what the

fuck does that look like yeah well i'm gonna write about that'm going to write about not, my life has been either a fight or I'm ready to run away, right? I do this joke about not wearing moccasins and I had this therapist who wore a moccasin. I was like, I don't trust somebody who wears moccasins.

Moccasins are really good for stalking. Yeah, you're either, I was going to say, the only time a moccasin is macho is if you're sneaking up on a castle guard to take him out with a knife or you're hunting deer.

That's the only time. Otherwise, you're a cult leader and you're selling your cock you know what i mean pairs of moccasins well i don't trust you unless you got a bow in your hand if you come out with moccasins and you're smiling you're trying to i just bought a new pair i just bought it yeah all right well good just for stalking i like that just so you don't break any twigs under your well you want and you're fucking you want to be able to walk like this You want to be able to walk like this. You want to be able to walk very quietly. Well, when I was in Indonesia and my Dayak guides,

the indigenous people of Indonesia, didn't break a twig under their feet. Bare feet, sir. Bare feet. Oh, bare feet are great. I'd hunt in bare feet. In the rainforest. If I didn't worry about cooties, I'd hunt with bare feet.

You got leeches. You got spiders. They didn't worry about cooties, I'd hunt with bare feet. You got leeches. You got spiders. They didn't give a shit. I'm worried about snakes in the good old U.S. of A. As well you should be. Yeah. Especially warm months. The last thing you want to hear is... Painful.

Fuck, man. I've never been bitten, but I've had my dogs bitten three times. Really? Remember Frank? Yeah, Frank got bitten three fucking times. Yeah, Frank and Lucy, they both got bitten. You have to get him. You got to bring him to the fucking doctor.

One time I brought him to the doctor. The doctor looked at him and says, well, I don't see any swelling. It might not have gotten him because he killed a snake. I was like, I don't see that. He's such a psycho. He's not smart yeah he just would charge in and just snap at things yeah like the idea that this thing didn't bite him he goes well you know if he's feeling bad take him back in again i bring him home an hour later

his face has got it growing a basketball off the side of it that's what happened to my dog just bring him back in but it was expensive too, which is a real bummer because it's thousands and thousands of dollars for this anti-venom. And if you're a poor person, they want that money right now. I know, man. I have pet insurance. My dog got hit by a car. $14,000, sir. Thank God for pet insurance.

Wow. I paid like nothing. It was incredible. So pet insurance is a's great and necessary i think my dog i bit by a rattlesnake i didn't see the rattlesnake but i heard my dog like that and i went what the fuck and we're walking back i'm i've never seen anything like it we're walking back and my dog's tongue is out and my dog starts weaving and then just kind of falls over oh jesus i picked the dog up i bring that dog to the vet i thought maybe he got stung

by a wasp or something i didn't know and then i was like this this she i was like i think she got bit by a rattlesnake and uh she was so swollen her head was so it like by the time i got there her head was like literally looked like a giant balloon yeah and i said i think my dog got bit by a rattlesnake you know what's really crazy they ever gave her anti-venom when I think about it. You know what's really crazy? The venom is actually digesting tissue. Yeah. That's what's fucked up. What that venom is for,

if they bite a snake, like a snake bites a rabbit or some shit like that, it's actually digesting the rabbit. Because they don't have a stomach like we have. Yeah. Their whole body is just like one rot track. The things just rot inside of it and they absorb it slowly. That's why you have to amputate a lot of times if you don't get to it.

Yeah. Dirty monsters. Do you ever see that video that I posted that I got from one of those guys that I follow on Instagram? But they were in the desert. that I follow on Instagram, but they were in the desert and this big fucking huge fat rattlesnake had a rabbit and was dragging the rabbit away. No.

And this lifeless rabbit is being dragged away by this thing that's as thick as my forearm. Oh my God. Let me see that. Yeah, see if you can find it. Good luck finding it. It's probably four years ago. Jesus Christ.

Three years ago, four years ago. Is it? Found it? Jamie's amazing, man. How do you do that? He's so ago. Jesus Christ. Three years ago, four years ago. Is it? Found it? Jamie's a wizard. Jamie, you're amazing, man. How do you do that? He's so good. Watch this.

So this thing, look at this. It's got the rabbit. Wow. Yeah. And they close in on it. That's so cool. And it just drags it away. Wow.

It's creepy. Yeah, it is. This is a different video. I've had snakes. The one that I had, it was a bigger snake, and it pulls it away way quicker. But it's just,

it's just a gross little animal. But then again, you need those gross animals. Like, that's the same, like the argument that people say, you don't want coyotes in your neighborhood. Well, okay, I kind of see what you're saying,

but the problem is, you don't want rats in your neighborhood either, stupid. Yeah. And coyotes are going to kill the rats. They do, right? What is this one? The mom rabbit comes and fucks up the snake. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, that's right. What? Really? Yeah. Yeah, the mom rabbit recognizes some shit is going down fucks up that snake get off my baby yeah look at that yeah rabbits are fucking fierce man they're rodents man giant rats with no tail a video where a kid stopped a cat i think it was like a bobcat a small bobcat like in a village was getting attacked by some snakes and was protecting its babies and the mom just left the babies to die or whatever because

she knew that she couldn't fight it the kid just grabbed the snake by the head and walked it away and threw it like in the bush came back and grabbed the babies and gave them back to the mom it was a crazy video like eight year old, maybe younger. It was wild. Grabbed a snake. Grabbed a snake. It was a eight, seven, six, eight-foot snake, six to eight foot probably. That's crazy. Some kids grow up hard, dude. I have no idea what country I was in. When I was a kid, I would grab snakes. If I saw a snake, I'm going for it. Yeah. I was obsessed with snakes. You're lucky you're alive. I know. I'd grab whatever, but I didn't live in a place where there were poison snakes. Well, when I lived in Florida, but I didn't live in a place where there were poison snakes. Well, I did, actually.

When I lived in Florida, I was always worried about running into an alligator. We'd run into alligators and snapping turtles, a lot of snapping turtles. Some snakes, there were some snakes we'd run into, too. The problem with Florida is, yeah, once in a while, there's an American crocodile. They even say in the

Everglades they got a couple of Niles out there. Oh, yeah, they do. A couple of the old Nile crocs. Yeah, assholes who got them as pets. In the 70s. And they just let them loose. And now they have a viable population. That's correct. What is this young boy doing?

This is the kid. It almost seems fake because they have cameras everywhere. I think it's fake. I think that's fake. But he does it regardless of the fact that he's a kid. It's a pet python. I would have done that in a heartbeat as a kid. So he's pulling on it.

Is that a Python? Oh, they set this up, bro. That's what I mean. As I was pulling back up and seeing all the cuts, I was like, okay, that might not be real.

This is a setup. That's not real. This is a setup. Look, look, that kid's been grabbing snakes his whole life. Yeah. He grabbed that thing.

Expertly. I'd make that thing a cock holster. That's what I would do. A cock holster. Cock rings. Just a bunch of cock rings thing a cock holster that's what i would do a cock holster cock rings just a bunch of cock rings or a cock holster motherfucker into a belt yeah it's like growing up like that around snakes and all kinds of evil fucking shit like that have you been to south africa no man cape town i'm scared cape town's the most beautiful place

i've ever been in my life but i saw a lie. But I saw a wild battle. That's a lie, but thanks for playing. It is. No, it might be the most beautiful place I've ever seen. The way it looks? Oh, fuck, it's incredible. What's so beautiful? Bring up Cape Town.

It's ridiculous. Ridiculous? It's ridiculous. What is that accent? I saw a ridiculous. Is that a new accent? For me, it's ridiculous. It's not that.

I don't do it. Oh, it's so beautiful. Not bad looking. No, no, no. It's not that. I don't do that. Oh, it's so beautiful. Not bad looking. No, no, no. You don't understand. Kind of like Australia better. No, you have no idea. Don't ever bring up Australia.

Wait a minute. What about Maui? It's better. No, that's not true. I'm telling you, you're just lying to people. I've been all over Cape Town. It's got my number one. I'm sure it's awesome.

In terms of breathtaking. Really? Yeah, and food. And it's a power keg. Do you have any interest in going to Africa and going hunting? Well, I've been to Africa now four times. It's a long flight. What would we be hunting?

Antelope, shit like that. Kudu. I love kudu. I've eaten it. It's delicious. But at the end of the day, I feel you'd get the same. In a way, I feel you'd get the same. Can I tell you what that would be? of the day i feel you'd get the same in a way i feel you could get the same because can i tell

you what that would be you'd go to a game reserve which is probably uh a cattle uh an abandoned cattle range yes and they stocked the area with those animals yes and so in a way i think you could get the same exact feeling in texas yeah in texas right in texas and i'm not kidding and in texas you could go get tex-mex correct sir get some solid food in africa there's no malaria that's there are a lot of those issues yeah right so so the the trip by the time you get there you're older it's just too fucking long you're older yeah 16 hour fucking 16 hours but then you got to take a fucking bus and the whole thing and something goes wrong every time

what do you got Jerry? that photo I just flashed up of Cape Town I don't know if you saw so they can create a picture like this oh yeah I did see that if you draw like a little sketch they could instantly turn that into

a photorealistic picture have you ever seen that no this just came out yesterday two days ago fucking bananas so look at that sketch on the right so through the software rendering they do something like that on the left and then they make it on the right but make it with a lake and a mountain like watch this bam damn what yeah yeah so this is within seconds they can create this. And what is this software called, Jamie? I don't know the software. From what I saw, it was made by NVIDIA, which is like video card maker and all sorts of

other things. So do you think they'll ever be able to replace comics? No. No, I don't think they're going to be able to figure out personality but i think what they can they'll never figure out joey diaz right but i think i think what they can do is make artificial reality they're going to be able to make artificial reality it's like how long will it take before that artificial reality i don't think you can quantify creativity I don't think I might be wrong though

I agree that I don't think there's an algorithm because part of what creativity is is surprise and almost destruction like when you hear somebody say something you've never heard before or a different take that kind of destroys the old way of thinking

that's kind of what a lot of creativity is innovation is a form of destruction yes and and so destroying ideas yeah but like like like when uh when you see a great piece of art like like there's a majesty to it there's an awe you're awestruck like the vatican the inside of the sistine chapel perfect example i mean you you're you're awed that a human being did that for the sake of beauty in itself like over the course of hundreds of years well yeah yeah yeah generations of artists right they'd work on the same tapestry or something for like three that is an act of faith and you're doing it for its own sake you're not even doing it because you're making money it It's like you are doing it because you can and because you want to see what you're capable of. Like creating beauty for its own sake is – but it's original.

It changes in many ways your perspective. Like you kind of go – so Nietzsche and Schopenhauer talked about the idea that there's the will right so as a human being you're stuck in this fucking I gotta eat I gotta fuck I gotta sleep and I gotta breathe and I eat and I sleep and I fuck so I can breathe you know and I can stay alive and then my you know further my gene pool and you're stuck in this kind of like will to live and there's the but there is a respite and that respite is isite is when you see a great work of art or you're doing great works of art. And somehow, when you see something beautiful, when you're laughing really hard at great standard, when you're seeing an amazing movie like American Beauty,

the state it puts you in is so incredible because it gets you to forget momentarily about your own biology, about your own urges, your own needs, your own urges your own needs your own wants for whatever reason you you rest in this state of majesty this sort of high relief this your higher self or you go you go man that might be what god's about that might be what it's like to be touching something bigger than myself or bigger than all this other appetite stuff like i it's almost like um it's almost like something you you forget that you like something you, you forget that you forget about death and you forget about your fears and everything else. You know, those feelings of inspiration that can happen when you're listening to great

music or it can happen when you're making great music. But that is almost the only time you have. Um, I guess, and of course we can talk about flow and you're climbing a mountain with no ropes or whatever it might be. I think that puts you in those states of true focus and true flow and um that's what we stay alive for we stay alive for that and when you are not that you know everything else becomes drudgery almost because everything becomes and i would even i would even equate like we stay alive also not just for accomplishments but like when you're with your friends like we're doing a fight

companion and we're laughing and being silly geese for no other reason there's a flow to that oh yeah there's a there's a you you are you are removed for temporarily from the world from from from the reality of your own limitations and there's something that's so beautiful about that i think nietzsche talked about the idea that you can you can actually make your life that like your life should be a work of art live dangerously and leave a good-looking corpse don't don't don't worry about all the other things just just it's worth living dangerously nietzsche was a mess they're all a mess that's part of the problem listening to him every fucking philosopher i've done my own studies on that every philosopher didn't get laid and they lived alone and sometimes lived with their mothers and

they were all a disaster but they thought deeply they have concepts they have concepts and oftentimes they're not really putting these concepts to practice in their own life which is very strange that's right yeah that's very true yeah those moments that we have when we're doing the fight companion where we're just fucking howling and laughing that's that's why and and those you can't recreate that you know one of the things that's interesting about fight companion is a bunch of people have tried to recreate it they've done their own and they always abandon it they just give up that's because we're really friends we're really friends and we really go hard we're really getting fucked up. How many shows are there where people are just

getting drunk and saying ridiculous shit live in front of millions of people? I know. And then we'll have a show where there's a UFC that may get 100,000 pay-per-view buys.

And we get 5 million views. Is that how many we get? Between YouTube and iTunes. The next time I take my shirt off, I got to be a little more jacked. Well, at least you don't have psoriasis anymore. That's true. But people are trying to come, like, they're like, well, you know, the fighter and the kid, I want to start my own podcast.

Well, how do you? I go, We're friends. We're really friends. That's why it works. You can't just make it like the monkeys. He's fucking organize a fake band. No fucking way. We're just we're just friends no matter what.

And Eddie is legitimately crazy, too. And he's also legitimately a jujitsu genius. You know, it's an innovative fucking. And he really does think the earth is flat. Like him and I have conversations. I'm like, Eddie, stop. Stop. Once you go flat, you never go back.

I'm like, what does that mean? He's great. What does that mean? He's so great. I don't understand that thinking, but that's part of the reason why he's fun. Yeah. I was saying, I was talking about him the other day and I was there like, he bugs me. I go, he's a genuinely good person.

Oh, he's awesome. He's a genuinely good human being. He's been one of my best friends for 20 fucking years. That's why, because he's such a good person. Yeah, he's a great guy. He's a great person. And he's brilliant when it comes to jiu-jitsu. I mean, really brilliant.

But his unique way of thinking, his creativity, is what allowed him to formulate that system. That system of jiu-jitsu was a lot of very unorthodox entries and submissions. He's very, very, very, very clever with his jiu-jitsu. Very clever. So important. But you wonder, sometimes his brain, that kind of brain, have it cuts all the way across it can have liabilities your strengths are the same as your liabilities well we all have that super obsessed with conspiracies like legitimately super obsessed but it wasn't always it's a form of identity though it also gives you a tribe and it gives

you people all of us have that yeah well he does that Tinfoil Hat podcast too with Sam Tripoli, and then they do conspiracy stand-up comedy where they go to perform at clubs together, but it's really selling well. I mean, they're doing great. Good. It's great for Sam too.

Yeah, I love Sam. It's good to see. Sam's a great guy. He is. Like I was saying earlier, we're insanely fortunate in our circle of friends. I know. Insanely fortunate.

And the camaraderie that we all have, we all protect each other and look out for each other and support each other. We're insanely fortunate in our circle of friends. I know. Insanely fortunate. And the camaraderie that we all have. We all protect each other and look out for each other and support each other. But I noticed that, too. I feel so lucky that I get to do stand-up because the challenge never goes away. Yeah. And then I see a lot of actors like Sean Penn, like Johnny Depp, like the guys I really looked at, Mickey Rourke. And something happens to them along the way brad pitt not so much you know but the real actors that i really kind of thought were

something goes on like brad pitt had a real struggle that he married a crazy lady yeah yeah i don't know he married a chick who was ridiculously hot but crazy as fuck yeah i think they might get i don't know acting doesn't when you when you've done a movie when you're on set you're shooting a page a day and that mundane repetitive process you're in costume you're saying the same fucking lines doing the same scenes over and over again i'm sorry man you're there 16 hour days and i don't think that's as satisfying no matter who you are it becomes a very peculiar skill that it's not like doing a play you're it's different stand-up is stand-up though you're writing and you have to perform and it's always changing

i agree but i also think that you and i were supposed to do stand-up like a guy who makes clocks that's his passion a guy who makes clocks, that's his passion. A guy who fixes cars. Like, there's certain people, like my friend Steve Strope, who built my Corvette, and he builds a bunch of muscle cars and shit. That fucking guy loves cars. He loves the construction of them and the design of them, and he loves putting them together.

Now, Daniel Day-Lewis and Christian Bale are supposed to be actors. Yeah, there's people that are supposed to do that they're really good but then there's other folks that get into it and they become disillusioned along the way because the process is so weird and also it's so fake that's what always drove me crazy like being around all these people that are like not really there talking to you they're not really being vulnerable they're not really being present they're putting on a little act but also the trap is having a persona yeah like i i think like johnny depp got caught up in that persona became a pirate yeah wearing scarves in real life you can't be that vain you have to have friends like me and you yeah if i showed up yeah if i showed up with a lace hanky hanging out of my my pocket

and it came all the way down to my knee you tackle me it's like jimmy burke when i showed up after mad tv i showed up after Mad TV, I showed up in New York and I decided to start wearing Kangol hats backwards. They looked good on me and I was hot. I decided I'm going to be

a good looking actor because I saw some actor do it. And I go there and Jimmy Burke goes, dude, I'm so fucking proud of you. I'm at the bar with all the guys. I'm so proud of you, bro. I was going to go out,

smoke a dube, celebrate, raise a glass, take the hat off right now. I'm going to slap the shit out of you. What about fedoras going to go out, smoke a dube, celebrate, raise a glass, take the hat off right now. I'm going to slap the shit out of you. Okay. What about fedoras? I go, what's wrong with my hat? He goes, it's too busy.

It's busy. How about a fedora? That's the best. No, what's the ultimate? A straw hat. I'm a member of the press. Well, a beret. No, a beret is the best.

If you wear a fucking beret, I'm going to throw you in a flying headlock even if you're brock lesnar if you have a beret and a cigarette holder like like hunter s thompson well now now i kind of like you if you're a dandy if you're a dandy and you have an ear trumpet and a cigarette holder now i like you i have a hard time with dudes who wear vests me too i do want though i do want to dress like a salsa dancer. I want to be a Cuban gentleman at the end of the day. I do kind of want to be, I want to wear linen suits. I want to be an older gentleman and I want to smoke fine cigars or a pipe. There is part of me and I want to pontificate and I want to hang out with Stephen West and I want to talk about philosophy. How often do you smoke cigars? Never, ever, ever.

So what's stopping you? I don't know. It's a store down the street. I just saw that cigar. You should get some cigars. This is a joint, bro. Oh, Jesus. A blunt?

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, it's tobacco on the outside. Really? Yeah, this is the shit that crashed Tesla stock. Brought it down so it'll hurt my lungs man is it mostly weed oh yeah the inside's weed you get a little little head rush from the tobacco and then you get a little little little life i'm such a lightweight.

Life inside the brain because of the marijuana. There we go. If we only had some wine, it would be perfect. Shall we break out some fine whiskey? We have some fine whiskey over there. We don't have any glasses. Yeah, we'll be all right. Or we could just drink it out of the glass like gentlemen.

Like out of the bottle, you mean? Do we have any more of this? Yeah, we have cups. Do you have to get out of here? Like out of the bottle Do we have any more of this? Yeah we have cups Do you have to get out of here? No I never have to Keep talking man People are listening

Oh sorry I'm here Did you have a special drop on Oh I'm glad you mentioned that Complicated Acepes, guys. Get my number one selling one hour and I'll be in Kansas City at the Kansas City Improv this Friday, Saturday, and then

I'll be in... Well, Philly's already sold out, but then I'll be in Calgary on the 4th, 5th, and 6th of April. This stuff is single malt scotch, and this stuff is made by a boy band. I like good whiskey. I don't like this bullshit.

Where does this come from? I'm not drinking boy band whiskey. I believe it's the Florida Georgia Lions whiskey. Oh, okay. They're not a boy band. They're a bam bam. I thought it was like NSYNC or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At what point in time does a boy band ever get to a point where they're like, okay, we can't call ourselves a boy band anymore. We're 40. Backstreet Boys are still rolling. It's a man band. They're still Backstreet Boys. Call it a boy band ever get to a point where they're like, okay, we can't call ourselves a boy band anymore. We're 40. Backstreet Boys are still rolling. It's a man band. They're still Backstreet Boys. Call it a man band. Is your glass empty there?

No. Finish your coffee, fuckface. Hold on. I'll show you what I'm going to do. Oh, you're going to pour it in there? I'll put these. Pour your coffee in there. Good move, good move.

Oh, you're going to put the whiskey in there. I'll have the McAllens, obviously, because I'm a Scot. I mean, I believe in Scot Jesus! Jesus, man Watch what you're doing Take it easy Don't you, don't you

Who invented whiskey? Was it the Irish? The Scotch The Scots Up in the Highlands So the Irish stole it from the Scots? I don't know I don't know

Is that your... That's my brogue My brogue From Scotland Who's on his way to Valhalla Who? Billy Connolly I don't know. Is that your... That's my brogue. My brogue. You know who's... From Scotland. Who's on his way to Valhalla. Who? Billy Connolly.

Famous... Is he dying? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. How old is he? He's... I want to say he's in his 70s. What happened?

Did he just... He's got some terminal illness. See if you can find it. 76. 76. Great comedian. Great comedian. Supposedly, I've never met him, but supposedly a great guy too.

We're all gone, brother. Yes. That's the other thing I think about. I don't want to be too attached to immortality. That's why you don't have a watch? I've been doing the... There he is. You know what I've been doing?

I do Sam Harris's... Not Dying, Not Dead. Sir Billy Connolly sends reassuring musical message to fans. Okay. This is in January, though. Oh, okay. So he's still going. He's got some sort of a...

Cancer and Parkinson's, it says. Double dose. Fucking machine breaks down. I've been doing Sam Harris' waking up app. Really? Guided meditation. I've been doing it now for three months. I actually,

I love it because I read his book Spirituality Without Religion and I really liked it. I've always dabbled. I've always thought about meditation but I,

without fail, have done it now for over three months and it's only 10 minutes a day. Sometimes I do a little longer, you know, but it's kind of profound. I never would have seen

the value of it but it took me a while to see. He helps. It's very, he. I never would have seen the value of it, but it took me a while to see. He helps. He's a very good guide because he's been doing it for 30 years. Yeah. And he's a very smart guy, obviously. He's done a lot of those quiet retreats.

Yeah, so did Yuval Harari, who wrote Sapiens. He goes on three-month retreats. I mean, when I started seeing guys who were that smart do that, I kind of went, this is very interesting, especially from Sam,'s always takes flack for being an atheist but he's pretty religious for an atheist i mean in terms of how he speaks about meditation consciousness uh mind versus brain you didn't use the term spiritual i appreciate that people that. I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. Yeah, I guess he's very concerned with the health of his mind, and he recognizes the power of meditation. You know, I do a bunch of different things that help me keep my mind clear.

Like, one of them is running. There's something about running that I never really understood until i started doing it the form of meditation well yeah you're you're in this sort of weird state of mind where you're just trudging and breathing and that's all you really can concentrate on you don't have much room for other things like when you're really struggling like uh when i'm running up a steep hill and i'm running with a dog he's so much faster than me he just fucking takes off he took i have the best dog man he turns around checks just make sure i'm okay he's like you're all right i'm like i'm good dude i'm good i'm right behind you and then he takes off and runs again he just loves freedom yeah and he's so he's such a good dog like i never worry about him meeting people he would just be kissing them yeah like the only

thing i worry about is like cats like mountain lions and shit i do worry about him meeting people. He would just be kissing them. The only thing I worry about is cats, mountain lions and shit. I do worry about that because we do run in these really remote areas. When I do that, when I'm trudging up those hills, all I'm doing is breathing. I'm pushing my thighs and I'm fucking trying to get to the top of this hill. It's a rough, steep, fucking long hill. You don't think about jack shit other than that. And then when you do come down and your heart rate drops and you're ready to go again, I'll do like a long 200-yard hill. Like I'll sprint it as much as I can.

And then I get to the top and I have to catch my breath. I don't want to kill myself. But then when you catch your breath, it's like during the time where your heart rate is dropping, you start looking at the actual real magnitude of your problems. Like what are they really? Our biggest problems is the way we interact with each other. If you think about all the problems that people have in the world, obviously there's the big global ones, global conflict and war and financial conflict and weird shit that countries do to each other back and forth. But it's human beings in conflict with other human beings.

And how much of that could be avoided? Right. Like, isn't it mostly avoidable like with people with one to one two reasonable people you and i you and i is a perfect example we've run into some people we've run into a person and it's not how wars are i think so sometimes right of course it's with groups well no it's also like sometimes it's um about resources i I mean, if you only have access to one waterway and your kids may not be able to drink water, you can get genocidal right quick. Of course. You know, so there are certain things where you kind of go, well, we have to fight for our survival.

But again, people go to war. The way you organize men, young men, is not whether we hate them. That doesn't last as much what you do is you you go hey it's about love it's about defending our country our way of life and you you create symbols and propaganda and things for them to march behind that's always how you motivate large groups how you create an ideology in your you know your fighting force you need that because they tend to fight for something you know i think at west point it says a nation defines itself on what it's willing to fight for nobody wants one world government right that's one of the things that everybody's scared

of like one world like one group that runs all the countries on the whole planet like that's too crazy right that that terrifies all of us one group having all that fucking power yeah anytime anytime one group that's my problem with a big federal government right but like isn't i mean it seems like they're all ridiculous at this point but if there was laws like laws that we all agreed on like you can't just like say if you go to singapore with weed you're gonna jail for like the rest of your life right you know like you get hung dude if you're a dealer there yeah yeah they'll they'll they will fuck you up you can't be traveling over there with cocaine or anything crazy like that are you they hang you yeah you're in deep shit no jury just a

judge lee kwan you talked about that he goes yeah we hang about seven people a year sad it's terrible no you know just judges but um how many people die from drugs from your drug issue in the united states how many people how many kids are orphaned i was like oh shit hey man they have a perspective it's a hard-ass perspective. But we've got to realize that that perspective exists still on this earth. Yeah. Like, it's really interesting when you think of all the different cultures. I was thinking of, like, stoic cultures and cold northern cultures. They have to get ready for the winter.

Yeah, man. Or you starve. Germans and the Swedes and the nordic folk yeah time becomes a real factor time with your harvest when all that stuff also no bullshit some fucking insane genes in these people right like that game of thrones guy you know brock lesnar's folk are from that fucking part of the world yeah land of the giants yeah it's the craziest hardiest stock survived the real vikings yeah and the real survivors like they have to deal with some shit in the winter before there was any kind of cars i know those people were living up there riding animals when it was God knows how fucking cold.

You wore those animals. Covered in skins and shit. They would open the door and wind would be blowing. Giant beards. One fire in the center of this fucking house and everyone's gathered around the fire. It was all about staying warm, man. And having enough to eat. And then you had to worry about some other dudes just like you coming into your town

and fucking you up while you slept. And taking you as a slave. Oh, my God. Chopping you up in front of your family. Yeah. People just chopped people up. That's right. And that's mostly what happened forever.

That's right. Mostly what happened. Yeah. And by the way, we're going to impregnate your wife and kill your kids or enslave them. Oh, yeah. Everybody got killed. Everybody got raped. And that was normal.

That was life. And people made it through that to some form of security where they started thinking about rules and laws and how to enforce them and keep things civil. Well, yeah. I think the fascinating thing is slavery. Slavery was the order of the day and the leading philosophers and moral thinkers of our time, from Jesus to the Buddha to Muhammad to Socrates and Aristotle to all of them, never, ever really spoke much about slavery, about owning other human beings,

about selling someone's children. It just was never really brought up i mean it just wasn't you just see it it's like it was just what was done and then you know really started the abolitionist movement that they were they i mean the the beginnings of the abolition of slavery worldwide you know did it no the british in the 1800s really and you know did it in specifically evangelical christians wow the abolition movement was started by what you'd and you know did it in specifically evangelical christians wow the abolition movement was started by what you'd call you know fanatic you know christians but they were they were they were they risked everything and convinced the crown to enforce a ban on slavery

in the high seas so if you were a british naval you know ship even if the ottoman if there was a turkish ship of the ottoman ship there was a Turkish ship or the Ottoman ship over there and they had slaves, the British spent years and great costs at basically hanging slave traders, freeing slaves, all that stuff on the high seas. So even though obviously there was a lot of racism that went on, the Brits and their navy were the ones that uh began the abolition of of worldwide slavery didn't allow it on the high seas now how amazing is it that that didn't take place until what 18 1865 sir eight now listen well that's when it was abolished in america it was that abolished the all countries no a britain abolished slavery, I believe, way earlier than America did.

So we were 1865. We were 1865. And another thing to remember is the United States has been a country with slavery longer than it's been a country without. So that gives you an idea how recent that is. Stop and think about that. That number, 1865, seems so recent now.

It used to, when I was a kid, it felt like it was forever ago. Yeah, I know. When I was like five years old and I thought about slavery, I thought about it as being like eons and eons in the past. Do you know a book I just read?

What? And it's the, it is without, besides the Bible, a lot of arguably one of the most influential books ever written in the 19th century. What? Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Whoa. Yeah. I realized I hadn't read it. And, well, I mean, I think that it's Harriet Beecher Stowe, and I think the legend is that Lincoln said, so you're the little woman that wrote this book that started this great war. Because she put this, she had never actually, she was from the north, but she interviewed

fugitive slaves and and people who you know who used to be and if you read that book man it was it put such a face on what slavery the brutality what it was really about in this country or anywhere where you could take a woman's child eight-year-old and you get some money and it's the story where the slave trader goes, well, I'll buy the kid. I could fetch a good price for him down south. Well, we'll take him when his mom ain't there. Maybe we could have her go do a chore or something when she comes back. Otherwise, it's all kinds of hemming and hawing.

And they had slave brokers who would come in and go, look, your plantation is in debt. You've got to start selling some of your slaves now i'm not going to take those guys but that that woman she's got she's got those two healthy looking boys and they and you would sell them and she could do nothing about it that was the reality and and uncle tom's cabin controversial book because of the way they described uncle tom as a simpleton and a negro but i'll tell you what it did is she she made you realize in technicolor with a human face just exactly how horrible it was and what happened to the women who would have to see their children sold in front of them and they couldn't do anything blah blah blah but but uh that's not a blah blah it was well it was it was for many people what galvanized the north to say we can't have this

is crazy can't have slavery how crazy is it that wasn't 200 years ago i know i know that wasn't even 200 years ago i know man that's that's like you know that joke that i have about the president the being like we became a nation in 1776. Yeah. People lived to be 100. That's three people ago. I know. That's real.

It's real. We are. We're infants. We are infants and something, we're in the process of this thing where we're figuring out life, what's fair, what's right, how to run shit. And we're doing it based on this idea that someone had already got it dialed in whether it's through the constitution or whether it's through the democratic system or whether educational system all those different systems that we have that they're perfect and they're in place and they're ready to rock and they've been

rock solid for generation after gen wait a. How long has it been around? I know. Wait a minute. Hold on. That's it? Oh, wow. So what did they do before that? What did they do before... Wait a minute. What did they do... When did they have the ability to print? Yeah.

Okay. That was like, what, 500 years ago? Mm-hmm. What was the fucking... When was the printing press made? In the 1400s by Gutenberg. But then it didn't really take... Oh, imagine, bro.

It didn't really take hold till the 60th century so imagine having everything you read someone has to write with their fucking hand right you have no idea if it's correct right you have no idea if they're telling the truth they're just writing it yeah it's nuts for years and years and years and that's like probably the main reason why they probably had to establish higher schools of learning. Well, the scribes. Who's writing this? Hold on. What are you doing?

Yeah. The stuff that you're writing, how do I know it's true? What's your method? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Well, they would write down. And there were very people that could write.

It was usually the priests. And there's a book called How the Irish Saved Civilization. Whoa. And it's about how the scribes, how the Irish priests wrote down all the knowledge. They wrote it down in books and they carried it with them. So it's like this whole story of how the libraries had to be painstakingly imitated. And then the printing press in the 1400s, 1445 or whatever in Gutenberg, he was a watchmaker and invented this thing called the printing press. And nobody really used it. But then people could disseminate ideas.

It was like the internet. You have an idea and all of a sudden, instead of having one book for 50 miles, you could print out paper and make multiple copies and send them out. Damn. And then all of a sudden, a guy named Martin Luther goes, if I have the Bible, what do I need these corrupt priests for? What do I need to pledge allegiance to Rome? I was just going to say that.

I've never been there. Martin Luther used to make those posters and put them up. Yeah, the proclamations. Yeah. And in Bitburg, Germany, I think. But either way, this guy was, yeah. Did you ever listen to the Dan Carlin series on that? I didn't.

Oh, my God. It's amazing. Dan Carlin's great. He explained Lutheranism, explained the whole movement and how he got away with it because he had a high public standing so they didn't prosecute him or sue him. They figured out a way to translate the Bible where other people could read it that couldn't speak Latin. That's right. They figured out a phonetic translation for it. So that now, so if you have the word of God, what do I need? The Protestant Catholic divide was about essentially, wait a minute, I don't need to pledge allegiance to this giant institution called the Vatican with all the money and the costumes.

What if I just have the Bible and I do what Jesus said because I can read it right here? All of a sudden, now you're a Protestant. That was what everybody was scared about. I mean, it must have been the most horrific thing about the religious power back then. Like, Rome had armies, right? Yeah. This was, like, when Genghis Khan was roaming the earth and running through Russia and Asia and Eurasia, Rome was like, they were thinking about going to battle with these people, the Mongols.

Rome had armies. The Pope had wives. This was like really, in a lot of ways, was almost in an ancient way like a similar position that the United States has now in terms of the whole world. I'm so high right

now yeah of course you are i'm marijuana i'm sorry but what was what was that you gave me because i only took one hit it's marijuana it's a blunt why am i in a tunnel it's good good for you okay there's tobacco on the outside of it and marijuana on the inside your head why is your head so beautifully shiny there's a beauty to it i use um i'm gonna be honest with you i use a moistener you do moist moistener well it to be honest with you. I use a moistener. You do? Moistener. Well, it looks, I got you a little nervous because you have a nice patina. Thank you. Looks like a bespoke shoe.

Like a nice shoe. See how I bring it back. A shoe that's been worn. Guys, see how I bring it back. Complicated Apes, guys, seriously. It's out now. It's number one. You can buy it for.

You can buy it everywhere. Everywhere. Amazon and shit. Everywhere. Wherever you get your content. Wherever you get your content. Wherever you get your joke jokes. Wherever you get your funny. There is 100 million comedy specials out right now.

God, what? No. Yeah. Almost. I don't know what the number is. A lot of them. But I'm going to say it's 100 million. Still a rare.

No one's going to count them all. Yeah. Still a rare fraternity. Yeah, it's a rare fraternity, but it's interesting how many of us there are today as opposed to the days of yore you know my question is how much material these people really have you know some of them dude you know who's god damn hilarious right now is sebastian not that he's not always hilarious but he's got some new material that he was doing at the improv last night oh my god my God. Dude, he's so funny. He's so funny.

He's hilarious. He's just got his own groove. We were talking about Theo Vaughn earlier. He and Theo, in my mind, they're very similar. Their style's way different. Their material's way different, but they have their own thing. They have 100% their own thing. Sebastian has his own thing.

It's a music. It's like a music. It's like there's a melody. There's a rhythm to it. Yeah, rhythm, yeah. And you love him, so you count on him reacting to these things in a certain way. It's as unique as like, you know, Christopher Walken, who's always, you know. He's in his zone right now, you know.

Sebastian is in his zone. Sold out four shows at Madison Square Garden. God damn, that's crazy. Four sold out seats. That is amazing. Four. Jesus. Four, that's like 18,000 seats a show.

That's nuts. Nuts, yeah. It's got to be some money. He's a beast. Yeah, he is. I'm sure there's money in it, but the point is he's in that sweet spot of his career. Yeah. That's why I love.

That's in a way why I still have faith in the American system. He was a waiter for nine years. Yeah. Four seasons. He's just a smart, easygoing dude who's easy to love. Discipline. That Italian. Yeah, he's got a lot of that.

Old school Italian discipline, man. Yeah, he's got a lot of that. Work. Work. It's so fun to watch on stage. I don't want to say what he's talking about. I don't want to ruin any of it because his stuff isn't even – on paper, it would never do it justice.

You've got to have him. You have to see him in front of you. He's funny, man. It's the same thing I say about Theo. Theo is in this rare place right now. He's on stage, and you just start smiling when you see him. His hypnosis game is on point. Oh, Theo's phenomenal.

I told him today on the podcast he did, Fighter and Kid, I was like, you're an original, man. Stop beating yourself up. He beats himself up. Every comic does, bro. Every comic does. I just stopped doing it at 52. With this Sam Harris app?

Nah, I just decided I got tired of it. I realize I've been doing my best and I got myself here. Yeah. I mean, you know. Well, there's like a two thing going on, right? There's two things simultaneously going on. There's one that, you know, you want to do your best. And so you look at everything you do and you go i think i

could have done that better god damn it why did i do it like this like fuck what is that about like what's this about why do i do it like that why don't i rework that redo this but then there's the other part that has to be like look why are you doing this like are you doing this because you enjoy it do you enjoy it okay you're gonna feel gross about anything that doesn't work out well everything that you do that doesn't work out well just don't be a bitch about it right just get over it there's a certain self-indulgence involved in dwelling on your mistakes that it becomes almost like a self-pity thing you gotta there's a strength and a discipline in learning how to go okay i fucked up did you did

you ever read martha graham's letter the great the mother of modern dance she wrote a letter to agnes what do you think when you asked me that question well it's just so timely it's the mother of modern dance it's it's timely though it's i believe it i'm sure like like uh but it's still funny i know because i'm i'm asking you about a fucking how do you know about this what is this woman's name again um i'll show you her name is martha graham she's the great i'm gonna just it's like a really short letter but she wrote this she was a great choreographer she created modern dance she was basically like it's not just uh there's not just ballet let's how about just moving naturally and doing crazy shit bring up martha graham she's at 80 she was dancing but she was

a she's a giant she's an innovator she's a giant there'd be when you think of dance she might be the most famous one of the most famous names ever in dance okay whatever but i'll she wrote this letter and i think you'll appreciate this it's really short there's a vitality a life force a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time this expression is unique if you block it it will never exist through any other medium and be lost the The world will not have it, and it is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It's your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, and keep the channel open.

You don't even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly of the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open no artist is pleased there is no satisfaction whatever at any time there is only a queer divine dissatisfaction a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others damn that's beast shit how about that that's on the money the money. Ain't that on the money? Who is that woman? That's her. That's her?

She was doing this. Nobody understood what this was. Dude, will you send me that? Yes. Because I'm so high, I'm not going to remember it. So I'm not really into what she's doing here, but I appreciate her words. It's like, I feel like you shouldn't have shown me this video. No, this wasn't a time when they were only doing it. She was doing the craziest shit.

Bro, this is how I dance if I really hurt my back. And I was like, this is in like 1943, if I'm not mistaken. Well, you know what, man? People were probably, yeah, 1943. People were probably struggling then for freedom from the orthodoxy, struggling to express themselves in different ways. Yes. You know, that's one of the more interesting things about stand-up is that it's indicative or it's um it's representative

of the time in which it's performed in like there are little windows in time to how people behaved and thought and there was some shit that people did just uh 10 15 20 years ago that you just can't do now right it's like it's not it's not in it's not possible it's not it's not in the the public's uh menu list anymore right you know but back then it was normal it's like you you can and some stuff just isn't funny anymore it's weird like some of the lenny bruce stuff man he was for the time he was groundbreaking right he just like nobody had seen anything like this before a guy who was talking straight and true about real social issues and making them funny on stage and he was just you know handsome looking

jewish fellow with beautiful hair yeah and he just had a look just he was disturbing his comedy shook people up. Yeah, but it was there was no Way that you and I can put ourselves Back into the minds of people that lived in the 1950s when Lenny Bruce was doing this There's no way we could put ourselves there, right? We were tainted forever by technology and innovation It's and the way that it's the way that interaction i think is the big one right as soon as people start to be able to exchange information with each other and you know whether it's uh through television and then through you know radio and television and television shows and then internet and the more they express themselves the

more they sort of figure out patterns of behavior that are acceptable yeah but i wonder at times whether or not i think stand-up has is having a renaissance but like music and things i don't think we're living in a time of genius are we or do i not know enough about there's some great shit that's being made there's just so much that's being made black keys are always putting out great shit gary clark jr has an amazing new album it's amazing i love i love him it's so good he's he's got such a signature guitar sound man his fucking guitar sound is like i i love that style of you know he's got he did a um him and honey honey did a show together one night in downtown LA

damn and I recorded some of it and put it up on my Instagram and they were doing oh I saw that the Allman Brothers Midnight Rider yeah

see if you could find that it was phenomenal it's crazy man she was reading the lyrics off her phone I think yeah she didn't even know the lyrics to the song

she had to go and get it and she was singing in real time while she's ringing yeah I saw that while she's to go and get it and she was singing in real time while she's ringing yeah i saw that you know right while she's reading rather and so he's doing midnight rider but he's doing it gary clark jr style damn it's fucking amazing one of the coolest things ever here it is you see that's like that's style, you know what I'm saying?

Damn. He Gary Clarked this song. Ooh, look at that. Damn. I mean, get the fuck out of here. Damn it. Damn it, dude's talented. Woo!

He's a killer, man. You ever see Stevie Ray Vaughan do Fruity Child? There's a video of it. I never saw him live, but I almost got to drive him live. I drove Jeff Beck when I was a limo driver. I almost got to drive Stevie Ray Vaughan. I was thinking I was going to get to drive Stevie Ray Vaughan. Wow.

But he won't take limos. He would only take cabs. He wanted to talk to the cab drivers really yep man the way he um on this there's that video that all his people what he does with the guitar is just he was performing with jeff beck and all of his people were in the limos man and he went in a fucking cab damn damn he was legit as fuck special man but what's crazy to me was that gary clark jr he gary clark jr that song while still having it be clearly that song so cool but it was like damn that was so cool dude to be there live and it was like 12 o'clock at night on a tuesday in downtown LA.

There was only maybe 100 people in the room. And Suzanne, Suzanne Santo from Honey Honey, she's so talented, man. She looks it. The fact that she could read that, her voice is insane. She's reading that off of her phone and singing it. It's so crazy. Yeah. But Stevie Ray Vaughan, we can't put any of his music up.

They'll yank us off the fucking if I gave you if I told you that you would have if you could trade a deep knowledge and practice of music over your knowledge

of martial arts would you take it right now fuck no no no really why would I do that that's ridiculous

you would rather be a better a great fighter than an amazing guitarist yes yes I don't know how I feel about that I love the art yeah I don't have to make it That's ridiculous. You would rather be a great fighter than an amazing guitarist? Yes. Yes. I don't know how I feel about that. I love the art. Yeah.

I don't have to make it. No, but I mean- I can't play at all. And I'll listen to Gary all day. I'll listen to- No, me too. I made this podcast, The Joe Rogan Experience, because of my obsession with Jimi Hendrix. Right.

That's why I did it. I mean, that's why I named it. I stole it from Jimi Hendrix. Right. I love music, but I don't have any talent. named it I stole it from Jimi Hendrix right I love music but I don't have any talent no I got none

no desire nothing you don't have to fucking make movies man you don't have to be a painter you know Taylor Boss made this Mitzi

look at that watch over us in the studio I don't have to paint no you can paint I agree you can outsource it I'm not

giving up martial arts for nothing no no way no it helps me so much it's so it's so important for me to just to have the ability to get out a hundred percent of aggression and be able to hit a bag and just get into a flow smoke a joint and then and then hit a bag. You ever do that? I could never. I'm so high right now, the last thing I'd want to do is punch somebody. You might be interested in day two of the 50th anniversary of the Woodstock. Did you hear that they're doing it, first of all? No, what are they doing?

Well, the lineup just got announced, and day two has got Gary Clark, Sturgill, and the Black Keys. Holy shit. And David Crosby. And Chance the Rapper. Yeah, and Grateful Dead. Holy shit. And David Crosby. And Chance the Rapper. Yeah, and Grateful Dead. Oh, my God. John Mayer, who knows.

Jesus. Wow. That's a fucking lineup right there, son. Sturgill Simpson and the Black Keys. That's two of my top ten. There's so much music. What's amazing about music, man, is that they're still making it. It's like everyone's still much music what's amazing about music man is that they're they're still making it it's like everyone's still making music so it's not like there's the database just gets bigger it's

not like stuff goes away right you bring back old donna summer shit you know like dude i i have um what is that uh sitting here eating my heart out, baby. Baby. Nowhere to run, baby. What song is that? I think it's Nowhere to Run. No, I don't think you're right. I got some playlists here. I think it is. But, okay, Allman Brothers or James Brown.

You go back in time when you listen to that. You listen to a James Brown song, it's not just that you're listening to james brown you're listening to a time capsule from 1963 or whatever it was he's so astonishing oh yeah james brown he was amazing oh like that i when i hear zeppelin and i hear james brown i never get i never lose my shock at how good they were how unique they were yeah no zeppelin was incredible the only thing that taints zeppelin is the allegations of plagiarism, which seem to be totally true. I know.

I've heard the songs. You can do the side-by-side where you're like, damn, you stole those riffs. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah. It's unfortunate because the end result is fucking incredible. They're still so great. The Immigrant song song one of the best workout songs of all time i know

so crazy we come from the land of the ice and snow with the midnight sun and the hot springs how much credit do they i mean should they have i'm not trying to disparage it at all, but they should get a lot of credit for how good they made those songs. They were still the greatest. They're the definitive heavy metal band of all time. They're so good. There's no doubt that they're so good. See, the thing is, every song, I don't know how every band does it. Every song is probably constructed differently,

but in a lot of cases, there's a lot of people contributing to the song you know the drummer has an idea and the singer has an idea and the guitar player has these riffs he's trying out and they're trying to figure out the best way to do the song it's a collaborative effort it's no doubt that the collaboration was fucking phenomenal the question is was it consensual like how many of these people were collaborating and didn't know it right so that's what happens if you're plagiarizing it seems like it's okay and you know maybe they just thought that band's going to go away no one's going to care about them anymore because we're led motherfucking zeppelin that's possible too because before the internet that kind of would have been the case you know no one but now we recognize you

still are taking something that doesn't belong to you you definitely are and so in my opinion you have to buy that from the person yes or give them credit yes but there's no way you can discount the fact that they were motherfuckers when they were on top when robert plant would stand on that fucking stage with his shirt open i mean he's the what's one of the weirdest things, like think about that change in history, right? Go from 1950 to 1969. Go 19 years and you see, you go from people that look like Hank Williams Sr. To a guy, Robert Plant,

who apparently was wearing the blouses or dresses or t-shirts that the girl he had the night before had worn. Do you know that? That's what he'd wear on stage? That's correct, sir. That's what I hear. He probably fucked his way through the planet. Bring up his shirts.

He always wore girl shirts that were too small for him. Well, and you could always see his hog in his pants. Yeah. He always had his hog pressed to the side. Yeah. Every heavy metal band in the 80s, Poison, you name it, whatever, Motley Crue, they all had a blonde lead singer

with a high voice. That was because their hero was Mr. Robert Plant. No, he was a beast, dude. There he's wearing a girl's shirt. Oh my God. That's amazing. Yeah.

That's amazing. That shirt barely fits him. Damn right. All of, so many of those pictures where he was wearing. What a crazy life that guy led. Yes, sir. Look at that one. You know? That's his. That shirt barely fits him. Damn right. All of, so many of those pictures where he was wearing. What a crazy life that guy led. Yes, sir.

Look at that one. You know? That's his shirt too. I don't think any one of us will ever be able to understand, even if you became like the new Led Zeppelin, you'll never understand what it's like to be Led Zeppelin. In the 70s? Yeah. In the 70s.

What? Like imagine if you today became the new giganto fucking multi-country rock band. Doesn't matter. Too many people watching you. Well, it's not just that. Too many people watching you, and there's a lot of you. You got to think back when Robert Plant was Robert Plant. You were the royalty.

You were literally like a king. Yeah, you had The Who. You had Rolling Stones. You had Elton John. You had people. You had people. But maybe you had 30. Yeah. You might yeah you might have 30 yeah 30 big name artists maybe maybe maybe but it's true maybe 100 let's get crazy say it's 100 you got pink floyd you got the who when you think

about the beatles obviously acbc yeah yeah you got all sorts of shit. You got a lot going on back then. Of course, you have Hendrix. Joplin. Janice Joplin. The Doors. Yeah, man. You got a lot of shit. And then you got the weird ones, the Mamas and the Papas. Amazing band.

Wasn't there some weird shit that went on with that family? Well, yeah, but also heroin and cocaine kind of killed that whole music scene. Yeah, there's a lot of that. That's the problem. It sort of starts it up, and then it poisons it. Well, psychedelics and weed, probably good for your music. When you get into cocaine and heroin, it's not going to help.

Your music's going to die. You know, I get it that it's bad for you, but I think it can't be a coincidence that so many people that love heroin made amazing music. Beforehand, though. So a lot of people... Yeah, look at Lou Reed. Any of them who got into heroin, their music stopped.

Lou Reed was always... Even Hendrix and Jim Morrison. I mean, a lot of the songs that Hendrix was writing, he died at 27. Yeah. morrison i mean a lot of the songs that hendrix was writing me he died at 27 yeah so that was a relatively his musical development i think was done less with you know maybe maybe uh psychedelics but i don't think heroin played a factor until later on in his life so um it's hard to say i mean i don't know i know he was arrested in toronto with heroin i don't know the whole history of his i don't by that time he was already so famous.

He had already written those songs that got him there, you know? Maybe. I mean, I don't know when he started using heroin or why. Yeah. I don't think heroin makes you more artistic or more successful at all. But I think what happens is you have very talented people that have a substance abuse problem. You know, that's what Stephen King said.

He said, I'm a great writer, but I don't remember writing Cujo yeah my alcohol didn't make me a better writer I'm a really imaginative talented writer who happens to have a substance abuse problem and I had to get rid of it yes and no yes and no because yes he is unbelievably talented yes he's an amazing writer he's one one of my personal favorites. I mean, I probably read more Stephen King books than any other fiction author. But the stuff that he wrote when he was doing drugs was hard core shit. He wrote The Shining and Cujo and The Tommyknockers. The Shining was one of the best. He wrote all sorts of wicked books, man, where there's just evil intentions and ruthless actions and shocking scenes and the

fact it was a coincidence he was doing coke just a coincidence he was drunk no i think i don't think that's what wrote the books though i think it did no one's saying that look vitamin c doesn't make a person right it's these are these are tools yeah to squeeze the most out of your imagination while suppressing any sort of societal handcuffs you might have put on yourself because of the horrific notions. Like, he said he would say things in his book where you would go, whoa. Like, you would have to take a step back. Like, what kind of fucking person thinks this up? Right. What kind of person? I'll tell you what go, whoa. Like, you would have to take a step back. Like, where the fuck? Like, what kind of fucking person thinks this up? Right. What kind of person?

I'll tell you what kind of person. A guy who's drunk as fuck doing coke. Yeah. Who's also a great writer. It's not that. Yeah, man. I don't know what those drugs. He's capable of writing that stuff and digging into his.

I'm not saying that. I think he probably could have achieved the exact same results on the natch because he's steven motherfucker okay it might have focused his mind for it's also it's also positive possible rather that that stuff is rocket fuel it's rocket fuel for your your your physical energy your anger moods, your inhibitions dissolve, and it might open up the pathway to that forbidden door of demon rape that you didn't want to get to. You didn't want to get to.

And that becomes the best scene in a Stephen King book. It gives you courage. Oh, what the hell is that? Pet Sematary. It just came out. What is it? They just brought it up. They remade it.

Oh, no way. It just came out this weekend or last week or something. No way. A week or two, yeah. Is it a comedy? no way. Or last week or something. No way. Yeah. I thought, is it a comedy? No,

definitely not. I heard it's, I heard it's really good. Really? Yeah. Oh, John Lithgow's. I gotta go kids.

That guy's always good. You gotta go. I gotta go. Let's close it down. Brian. Brian. Joe Rogan. Thanks for getting me way too high to move.

Thank you for, thank you for having the number one comedy special on the planet Earth. Something like that. Somebody told me that. I think I saw it. All right, good. I saw it myself. Complicated Apes.

Yeah. Come see me this weekend. Where are you at again? Kansas City Improv. Kansas City Improv. Friday, Saturday. That's a great club. Yeah, I hope I'm not still high.

I don't know what you put in this stuff. You will be. There it is. There it is. Look at that, you guys. Brian Callen, Complicated Apes. Because that's what we are. Indeed.

All right, sir. Thank you very much. Love you. Always good to hang with you. We should do this more often. We always say that. Always a blast. We're doing it like every couple months now, right?

Yeah. Jamie, when was the last time? Just Brian? Yeah. It's been a while for just Brian. How much? I don't know. Six months?

No. Two years. Two years? Might have been a year or two, yeah Dude, time's flying too quickly I know It's crazy Okay, let's do it every few months Thank you

You and me Every few months Thank you I'm down Alright Please Thank you Bye

Bye everybody That was great Oh man