The Joe Rogan Experience - #1280 - Michael Yo

Episode Date: April 9, 2019

Michael Yo is a stand up comedian. His new stand up special "Blasian" is available now on Amazon Prime.

Will you go through all three of those? No. Okay. No, one other one is for you. Oh, okay, good. Just in case you wanted to. Good. That's ridiculous.

You're a fucking beast going through three coffees. Oh, we're live. You're a beast. We're trying to figure out how much. I think these are 270 milligrams of caffeine. If you drank three of these. Jamie, that would kill you, right? That would kill you?

No. Wouldn't kill you. It would fuck you up. I thought you walked in with three coffees. I was like, ah, damn, Rogan. You're going to die. Like, straight up die after this No. Wouldn't kill you. It would fuck you up. I thought you walked in with three coffees. I was like, ah, damn, Rogan,

you're going to die. Like, straight up die after this show. One is for you. Okay. Hopefully we won't need both. Well, I don't know.

I've drank both of them before in a show, which is like 500 plus milligrams. I'm addicted to coffee though, man. I will just drink it when I'm, I don't even need a high. I'll just drink it. I love the smell of it.

It's so good in the morning, man. Oh, it's the best. And I, I, I love it with cream. I love it black. I love espresso smell of it it's so good in the morning man oh it's the best and i i i love it with cream i love it black i love espresso i love it all see i i got rid of drinking the whole coffee i'm now an espresso drinker really two shots in the morning a double shot a double shot and then like a couple hours later another i'll do like eight double shots throughout the day

because to me that's better than drinking one coffee. Yes. But it's not. It's not. It's actually, apparently espresso has less caffeine in it than coffee does. Even though it seems like it has a lot, it doesn't. But you have to drink more acidic acid. It just tastes like shit. Yeah.

It doesn't taste like shit, but it's definitely an acquired taste. I enjoy it, but it's one of the rare things I drink that is that big, and I'm holding my finger up like two inches. It's two inches, and it'll take me 10, 15 minutes to drink it. For an espresso? Yeah, it should be like a slow. Oh, my God. Why are you drinking so slow? I like it. I like the savory.

Like this, like a gentleman. Pinkies out, bro. Pinkies out. There's only one way to do it with these fat Neanderthal fingers. If you're holding that little tiny handle you can't get your whole hand in there you can't look like a man drinking an espresso right it's not like a beer stein not of a rhino horn it's it's a tiny little thing you cannot look tough drinking an expert but i i drink mine in like three seconds do you just i just pound

and then i go to the gym i can't well i do that too one time i uh i drank five i have an espresso espresso maker and i put five capsules in there and i filled a mug up with it like a coffee mug and i drank it and i ran four miles no was it a fucking animal through the hills like i was being chased by wolves you're just howling what the fuck am i doing? Wolves are chasing you. I was like, why did I drink so much? So what does espresso have? What does it say there, Jamie? Okay, coffee brewed.

See, but it all depends on the company, because Starbucks is extremely caffeinated. Yeah, see, Starbucks is way up the chart. Look at it there. Starbucks tall is like closing in on 200. It looks like about 270 Yeah, I think that's about it Somewhere in the range of 270 milligrams of caffeine

But that's a coffee, that's not Right, not an espresso So a coffee, it would be better to go to Starbucks and get a tall coffee then But there's an espresso, see how low it is? It's below 100 Yeah, so that's why I'm drinking so many of them So when I drank five, I guess, I think I had five 500

I think 500 milligrams, which is basically less than drinking two of these things. See? Yeah, these caveman nitros. These are shit. Yeah. I live off these goddamn things. They're responsible for half my productivity. Basically, I'm too chicken shit to go on Adderall, so

I just drink this stuff all day. What? It's a good move. Good move. There's nothing wrong with coffee, man. I'm scared of Ad all day. It's a good move. Good move. There's nothing wrong with coffee, man. I'm scared of Adderall. But people admit they're addicted to coffee, and everyone's like, ah, me too. If you go, dude, I am so addicted to Adderall, they're like, okay, Joe.

I'm not calling you anymore. You're going to think I'm lame, but until five years ago, I didn't even know what Adderall was. No, I think you're smart. Good for you. All my friends in Houston, they do it. And I asked my friend, I text him, and I go, hey, man, what's your Addy? And he goes, yeah, we got Adderall.

I was like, what? No, your address to go to your house. Literally, he thought I was talking about Adderall. And then he explained to me, when you're in a club and you want to stay up and you want to stay energized, you take Adderall and i was like oh okay but i i don't drink so i can stay up till three four o'clock in the morning be fine what's fascinating about adderall is what they've essentially done is taken an amphetamine and made it so that if you prescribe it for a condition right like they give it to people who have what add is

one of them right whatever the fuck that means and it's very debatable whether or not you have it or don't have everybody has depending upon i have it for sure if it's real if it's real i have it but they give you adderall which is fucking speed and because it's a medication that you give to somebody who has supposedly has a condition and by the way i'm not diagnosing you if you're out there you're getting frustrated with me right now just listen to me it's fucking speed maybe you need speed maybe you're that person that needs speed maybe you do need it legitimately as a medication but there's a fuckload of people that are just doing speed so by somebody giving you speed it's supposed to slow you down so you won't have ADD? Is that the reasoning?

They say if you have the legit ADD. Look, I am not doubting that some people have whatever the fuck I have worse than I have. Yeah. There's a spectrum, right? With everything. But for some people, when they take Adderall or similar type of substances, it actually lets them focus, and they can actually be on track. So by speeding it up, somehow it focuses in. I don't get it.

I don't understand. I think the idea is that it's proof that their system is wired wrong, which is why when you give them that speed, they can center out and mellow out. My friend's a doctor, and I was talking to him. And I used to just pop by to say, what's up? And he goes, hey, man, just to let you know, the more you go to a doctor, and I was talking to him. And I used to just pop by to say, what's up? And he goes, hey, man, just to let you know, the more you go to a doctor, the faster you'll die. And I go, what? Yeah.

He's like, I just want to let – No, yeah, yeah. He says, the more you go to us, you come to us, the faster you'll die. I was like, what are you talking about? Because a lot of doctors are crooked, and they'll give you something for what you think you got. And then after that wears off, they have to give you something else. So now you just keep filling yourself with stuff to fix the other thing that was wrong. And he goes, some, some doctors are not good people.

And he goes, the more people go to doctors, the faster they die. Put it in point. My mom beat breast cancer twice. Right. And my dad's never been to the doctor. He's 75 years old. Never been to the doctor once. Cause he years old, never been to the doctor once. Because he's like, well, as soon as you go to the doctor,

they tell you something's wrong, you die. You know, literally. Yeah, but if you have cancer, you should go to a fucking doctor. Well, he didn't have cancer, my mom did. Right, but if he had cancer, he should go to a fucking doctor. But I don't think he would go, even if he had. What? Yeah, he's just like.

But your mom beat it twice, and she's still here. Yeah, she is. And the second time she beat it, she didn't even tell me she had it. Doesn't your dad want to beat it if he gets it? Nah. My dad is kind of dudes like, hey, I've been through a lot.

I'm fine. Like he hates going to the doctor. The only time he went to the doctor, he had a back problem. And that's it. I feel like if you met a good doctor. What if you met a good doctor? Like a doctor that he likes,

like a guy he plays golf with or some shit. Nah, my dad is not social. He's not? No. No? No, I'm totally. i'm totally weird you're so social i i'm totally opposite like my dad's story is crazy like he you know he went through segregation he got a phd in nuclear physics oh yeah my dad's a genius but shit but you're out there talking shit and telling jokes telling jokes i'm a failure but you're not because you're a success at it. So he's got to go, all right. Yeah.

Yeah. He's the one that told me to drop out of college. Really? Yeah. I play football for the year. How did he say it though? He said, you need to drop out of college. You're not smart.

See, that's not supportive. It's not like, Michael, you need to drop out of college and chase your dreams. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He was like, my dad's whole thing is I got a PhD in nuclear physics. I know what wanting to be in school is. And you don't want to be in school. And you got a personality. Go do that.

But you're dumb. Like, literally. He would say that. My parents were not supportive. They were just not supportive. Like, my mom wanted me to be a doctor. But she knew I wasn't bright enough to be a doctor so like my dad said you got to drop out i see i don't think you're not bright enough to be a

doctor i think you're not interested in being a doctor no see because i see how you pursue stand up and show business you're you're a bright ambitious guy you just don't want to be operating on people that are on anesthesia with fucking headlamps on and shit and rubber gloves covered with blood get the fuck out i don't want nobody dying on me that would be the worst having somebody die while you're working on them and then you got to go tell their fan hey man sorry my bad you know oh the pressure of those people jamie was it you that was telling me yesterday about the guy who's the emt who sees tell me tell me what you told me he's uh he said he was listening to the podcast we did with lewis j gomez about people getting head injuries

uh and he has been doing i believe for like 15 years or so like doesn't do it every single day because you don't work every single day but on a three-day basis or so every day he works he sees at least one person dead from a head injury whether it's an elderly person they slept on ice something people fall and hit their heads oh yeah like that's why please folks if you're listening one person dead from a head injury, whether it's an elderly person that slipped on ice, something. People fall and hit their heads. Oh yeah. Like that's why, please folks,

if you're listening to me and you want to punch somebody and knock them out, please don't do it. Just go to a gym, get your frustrations out. Don't fight on the street. You could kill somebody or you can get killed even accidentally. Even if you really don't hate the guy that much, you punch him in the face.

They go unconscious. Their head hits the ground. People die all the time. I mean, accidentally even if you really don't hate the guy that much you punch him in the face they go unconscious their head hits the ground people die all the time i mean i've told the story about when kevin james used to work as a bouncer in long island a guy that he was working with punched a guy and killed him really yeah kevin kevin wasn't there but he knew the guy and the guy accidentally killed a drunk guy drunk guy's coming at him he punched him i guess i don't know the whole story but that shit happens all the time i've seen guys and it's not about the punch though it's about when they hit their head after you're getting hit by the world yeah think about that think of the world just dropped on your head that's what it's like your body mass bouncing off a completely especially concrete there's no give so your head just

it sounds horrible why listen to someone's head bounce off concrete is one of the scariest fucking sounds it's horrible even if you do it to somebody and you wanted to hurt them when you hear their head bounce off concrete you're like oh shit like that's not as simple as like you punch them you punch them and then you whatever they weigh, 190 pounds with all their mass and gravity pulling them towards the ground with nothing slowing it down. But meat and head. Bang. Bone. Shoulder.

That reminds me when I was 10 years old, I was sitting on the curb. And this is the first time I saw death in real life from a head injury. I was sitting with my friend on the curb, and a guy was driving a motorcycle, and he was speeding up and down the street. And right on Iriswood in Houston, Texas, he's flying down. A car pulls out, and he hits it. Back then, they didn't wear helmets. So he literally flew up in the air and landed about 20 feet from us. His head hit first and exploded like a watermelon.

And this is like, I was 10 years old watching this. So the next morning, you know, the police come, my parents get me to tell me, don't look at it. I go out there the next day, it's just bloodstains everywhere.

And his wife is picking up his hair that's stuck to the concrete. And I remember it so vividly. I was next door neighbor was Eric. And we were sitting on the curb watching this lady pick up her husband's hair that was stuck in. And that's the first time I ever saw death. And it was, oh, and it was a gnarly death too. It was like that faces of death stuff.

Like it was bad. It was bad. I never rode a motorcycle because of that. Yeah, there's not a lot of reasons to ride a motorcycle other than it's awesome yeah this is the fucking danger i i took uh motorcycle safety classes and then two of my friends uh wiped out one of them got hit by a car and one of them uh fell uh going around a corner and fucked his shoulder up i uh i after that accident probably about six years later you know when three wheelers were big back there yeah

and my friend same friend that was on the curb we were three wheeling and and where i grew up there was a bunch of ditches so we're going and he thought he could go down in the ditch and come up the other side but i think he forgot that it's flat on the bottom of real ditches. So literally, we're going and we hit the bottom. And I flew up and literally half my face was just wrecked. I was in the hospital. And we didn't have helmets at that time. Of course.

Because we were young and dumb and just wanted to like. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Kids, when you let boys just wander around it's never good it's never the dumb shit that they do that they think is okay let's try this hey take those fireworks and stick them in this tree this old rotted down tree let's blow it up and the problem is i think i think I think, I think today parents, at least we know more.

I feel we tell, but like our parents, at least my parents, they didn't really give me guidance. You know, they were kind of like, Hey, figure it out on your own.

Mine too. Yeah. And that was that generation though. Yeah. Yeah. Like my parents is the parents that didn't tell you they loved me till I was 29 and I forced them to. It's that kind of thing.

Wow. Yeah. That's different. Yeah, my parents tell me they love me all the time. My parents were hippies. My mom and my stepdad were hippies. I don't know. Maybe it was my-

In a good way. In a good way. Really nice people. Yeah. But yeah, man, they didn't tell me shit though, like what to do. Yeah. Telling me why your grade's so bad. I'm like, I don't know. What the fuck do shit, though, like what to do. Tell us why your grade's so bad. I'm like, I don't know.

What the fuck do I do? Tell me what to do. But they've worked, man. You know, like if you have a full-time job and the wife has a full-time job and you're raising children, man, how much time does that really leave? I mean, none. You don't get home until 6, 7. Like, when do you get out of work? At 5.

By the time you get home, the kids have been home from school for three hours. They're already exhausted. They just want to eat and go to sleep yeah like you're not learning anything about each other for like five days a week well i that's my my mom worked for my dad so i got to see my mom a lot but it was a type of relationship where when i was growing up my mom's asian my dad's black i guess there wasn't that hey we love you i mean i knew they loved me but they didn't ever say it and the only reason they said it is because i was uh dating a girl at the time and they used the i love you thing all the time and i thought that was very strange because i've never heard people just say

it all the hey i love you i love you i love you so i called my dad and i was like hey i love you and he goes and he hung up like literally he got up. Literally, he was just like, okay. I was like, all right, cool. And then he hung up. And then now, after I got married and have a kid, now we say it, I love you all the time. Because I don't want my son to grow up with, no, I love you. Beautiful. Yeah.

It's a different time for them, man. It was a different time. It's a foolish insecurity. Because if you say you love you if you say i love you to someone um either they love you back and it feels great or they don't and you don't hang out with them anymore you don't say i love you to somebody like well i i reserve it for people that i love and usually they love you too unless you're there's something wrong with your wiring unless you're looking at it wrong. You know? Yeah.

No, that's never happened to me, Joe, where I told somebody I loved them and they said nothing back. It can happen. Dudes clam up sometimes. Tell a friend you love them. Hey, I love you, man. They go, yikes. This is not for me.

This is too weird, man. I grew up in Nebraska. But I think it's also a young dude thing too when you're young you're macho you don't want to say i love you to another dude now when you get older especially if you're living in nebraska yeah i'm just kidding nebraska don't get uptight somebody sent me a box of nebraska t-shirts like the corn huskers once like listen son i ain't wearing that my my wife's father is from Nebraska Is he? Yeah There you go

It's a good spot It's as good a spot as any All those spots that used to suck They don't suck as much anymore now Because of the internet Really? I mean what's there to do in Nebraska? Let's be serious

Like Pheasant hunt I think it's a good pheasant hunting spot Okay They got the corn huskers They got corn I mean if you just want to be alone Start a cult

I think it's a good spot to start out. That's great. Yeah. If you want to start a cult, though, you got to live in an attractive climate. You know, I think that's why, what's that place in Arizona that everybody goes to? Scottsdale? No, no, no. The other one.

Sedona? Yeah, that one. That's the one where all the cult leaders go to. How do you explain Waco, then? That's the armpit of Texas. It it is but it isn't you can get to dallas pretty quick from waco okay that's you can recruit you can go to dallas you got a ranch out in waco go check out a cowboys game come back after that far yeah no i i couldn't this whole cult thing i don't get it sedona is a weird right? Because it's all like crystals and healers.

It's all people looking to be spiritual. They've given up on traditional religion, but they seem to need that sort of vibe. Yeah. And so they get into like spiritual stuff and channelers and healers. Have you got into that stuff ever? Yeah, I'm into it all day long. What all about channeling, bro? That's my thing. I'm into channeling yeah right i mean no no i think we i really do believe and i've been believing this more and more lately though that our understanding

of what our memory is is uh very limited and that the reason why people are scared of things some things is probably because there's some sort of genetic memory of someone that they knew. Like, I bet your kid will have somehow or another that knowledge of that motorcycle accident and that feat. I think shit like that goes through DNA. Really? Yeah, I do. I think that's why kids are scared of monsters. You know, why is kids scared of monsters. Why are kids scared of monsters?

Why aren't they scared of bullets or fires? Why aren't they scared? They're scared of something that- That I was scared of growing up? Is that what you're saying? No, that animals used to eat people. Yeah. That's what I think.

I think monsters represent like jaguars and shit. You go into the jungle and try to get some water and you get jacked. That's our ancestors. All of our ancestors. Every single human being on this planet came from africa all of us 100 of us everyone absolutely asian black white all of us got eaten all of our ancestors in our dna it's wired there's cats out there bro what are you afraid of monsters in the dark the dark. Those are cats, man. We got jacked by cats all the time. Yeah.

That's why everybody's scared of things under the bed. What's in the closet? They're hiding. They're cats. Big cats looking to get you. I don't know about that. This was very scary for a moment, but I don't believe in that. Why do you think that animals have instincts, right? Like, here's a perfect example. But we have instincts.

Right, but what kind of instincts? Animals have weird instincts. Like, they all sniff each other's assholes. They all piss on spots where other animals did. Nobody had to teach my dog how to do that. My dog, I got him when he was six weeks old. And I've had him for two and a half years. That motherfucker will sniff something, and he sees somebody peed on it he pees on it but he learned

that from his he didn't learn that from nobody no he learned that from his dog people when he came over here he didn't know jack shit so he learned that from us no i think it's in his dna okay yeah i get that but but what is the DNA? Like, doesn't your DNA carry some traces of information onto your own children? Like, what I notice in my children is they share certain weird traits that I have that I don't think like obsessive compulsive

traits that I don't think they see because I don't really bring that home. Like, especially the workout stuff and like some things that I really get kind of psychotic about, martial arts stuff, my middle daughter has that in a crazy way and i'm like oh okay this is me if i was a girl okay like if i was a little girl this is me like what is so is this my memory that's in her or is it do i have like some weird obsessive gene like which is it it is the dna because i see my son he's only two he just turned

two but he makes facial expressions and looks like he does certain looks that i do and and my wife goes he's acting like you right now do you think he's acting like you because he sees you act like that or is he acting like you because he knows in his head that that's how you react? He's wired like that. Because when I watch it, he doesn't know. Like, a lot of this stuff he does, I don't even do. He just does. Like, my mom will come over and she'll watch him. She'll go, you know, he's just like you when you were this age.

And it's so weird. Yeah, it's in the DNA. It's in something, right? Whatever it is. Whether it's in cellular memory, DNA, some sort of genetic information gets passed on from the parents to the child. You could say that about athletics though. Like if you get too- No, but that's a little different though.

But it's in the DNA. Yeah, it is in the DNA, but it's not an ethereal thing like a thought. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like here's one, aphidiophobia or arachnophobia, fear of snakes or spiders. Have you ever seen anybody who has that? Well, you were on Fear Factor with me. Oh, my God.

That was the worst. I should say, you made it out, brother. Boom. Congratulations. Yes. No, do you remember? Season one, episode one. I was the pilot episode of Fear Factor.

The pilot episode. And that's where I met you for the first time. Can you believe 16 what 2001 yeah what is that where we 18 years ago we met because that was that was right after 9-11 yes yeah right after and they flew us down and the first time i met you it was at saddle ranch and you were like welcome to this dude oh okay, okay. This is later. This is later. This is way later when we did the new season of it in like 2011. Yeah, you tried to get me to eat that spider. Yeah, that's right.

And I was acting like a- It didn't even taste bad, bro. Dude. Dude, that's not a normal thing. And you just chomped it like a champ. So this whole scene, I'm acting like a little bee. Oh, you just were a little fearful. You got to eat sheep's eyeballs, though.

I remember what you had to eat. Dude, now those were disgusting. Did you eat the sheep's eyeballs? Yeah, I ate it because I felt bad for you guys. That was before I'd hardened. I'd been hardened to the world. Because you guys were episode one, season one. And it didn't seem right for me that you guys would have to eat these things.

And I didn't eat it. So I said, if you guys eat it, I'll eat it, too. But they didn't show it. They wouldn't show it on television that I ate it it because they didn't want it to look too easy. Easy, yeah. It's so weird. It tastes like shit, though. But yeah, oh my God.

I remember biting down into it and it kind of like burst. Yeah. And then that retina that you had to just chomp. Yeah, you had to chew on that retina. And we had to eat three of them. Yeah. They weren't good. No, they were horrible.

But you know what was surprisingly mild? I ate a roach. I'm not bragging. It didn't taste like much. Just a roach? No, it doesn't taste like much. But why would you eat a roach? Was that part of the show?

Yeah, it was a celebrity fear factor. And there was a young lady who was scared to eat a roach. And she was going to get eliminated from the show. And so I said, listen, I'll make you a deal. If you do it, I'll do it. And she's like, you will? I go, yeah, I will. And she wouldn't do it, so she made a deal, like three worms.

She decided I'll eat three worms. We negotiated to three worms, and so then I ate a roach. I remember when I was on that show, the question they would ask you in the survey is what's your fear of dying? And I wrote down dying underwater because that would be my biggest fear is dying underwater. And so our last stunt was when they dumped us on the water. And my friends still send me screenshots of that because that's when I had long hair and I put a bunch of gel in it and they dunked me under the tank and literally it looked like a squid

shooting out ink. Like a slick. Oh, my God. You can Google it. Google Michael Yeo, Fear Factor. And my friends will just screenshot that and they still play that. To this day, they still play that episode of Fear Factor. Yeah, they play all of them.

They play them on different like True TV or something like that, one of those i remember shows i remember that when we were talking i would go because you were what show were you on at that time news radio you were on news radio well that was a couple years earlier there you are look at that what happened yeah and okay so that's the sheep eyeballs michael yo look at you look at you eating sheep's eyeballs so at the end at the end go to Joe and I go, hey, man, I can't do the last stunt. Look at that. I can't.

Okay. So this is you talking to me. Because Joe goes, hey, I go, Joe, I'm not going to be able to make it through this whole stunt. I can't hold my breath for that long. And you go, I'll just make it look great for the camera. So when I get. that long and you go i'll just make it look great for the camera so when i get i was gonna try to talk you into it but i wasn't good enough at it then i did i had to figure out how to talk people into it because i knew there's some people that

were just psyching themselves out yeah and the smoker won our episode the guy that we thought that was gonna lose no oxygen yeah his fucking. He's used to having no oxygen. And that's when they casted Fear Factor off of personality. And then it just became a hot fest. Like, if you were sexy. It was a lot of it. But it was also, you know, they kept ramping up the difficulty of stuff. Like, the last season scared the shit out of me.

When they were launching a car through a moving train and an explosion happens when the car it was like what you're gonna kill somebody like and when i came up to your uh i think it was the last season y'all were doing something with a donkey dong don't you come yeah that's what got us canceled yes yes because i remember showing up and joe says come here yo and he goes you're about to drink donkey cum. I was like, what? It was so crazy. I thought everybody was going to quit.

When I showed up that day and they brought the paper into my trailer and they told me what it was going to be. I don't think I knew about that one before. Some of them I knew about before, but I don't think I knew about that one. I think when they brought that in, I had no idea. And I was like, you can't do this. I'm like, no one's going to do it do it first of all they're all gonna quit but what was hilarious is i'm sitting there next to you watching them drink this stuff and then we're just laughing

but dude how about an intern had a drink it an intern had a drink and i think they only got like a hundred dollars what for what well there was like part of the thing is that they would have to test it when When they would like say Here's some fear factor info So like say if you had to eat like kidneys Yeah Right? How many kidneys can someone eat in a minute?

You know, like how much meat can you actually like Consume Disgusting dried meat can you consume? And so what we had was certain interns that would volunteer for it, and they would get like an extra hundred and something dollars. And I would always give them money, too. I would always give them a couple hundred bucks on top of it. But they would eat whatever the fuck it was,

and then they would determine, all right, well, Mike usually can put it down like no one, and if he can only get through three, and then some other producer would come in and go, fuck this, we're being pussies, make him eat four. I would go like, four? You guys are crazy. And this was like the debate.

The debate on the set would be like, how much blood should they drink? One gallon. One gallon of blood. They never drank blood. But you know what I'm saying? How many horse dicks? They never ate a horse dick.

But they did eat bull dicks and elk dicks and deer dicks but the donkey cum was the worst oh yeah and i even remember at the shoot you were like yeah i think the show's over after this like they didn't air it i think they didn't air it they couldn't in other countries though oh did it really yeah so you could get it like in i think it's like dutch And so it's like you hear us talk in English, but then they have Dutch subtitles. Yeah, that was such. So stupid. It's so dumb. Are you surprised how stupid people are to go?

No, because I think people are like, look, it's an experience. I'm here for the experience. I'm going to have some fun. This is crazy. But when you get to Donkey Kong, you're kind of being rude yeah those folks you know you got donkey this donkey but then the donkey come is like taking advantage of their need for fame in a weird way no you are yeah but hey they want to give it that's the game and i remember you showing it to me first and it was in this large uh glass container and they and it

wasn't a little they had to drink no no it no, no. They had to drink a lot. Yeah. It was like the aforementioned rhino horn beer mug. It was a fucking large chug of jizz. Yeah. You know what's even more offensive? Donkeys are, they're not fertile. Look at it.

There it is. Oh, that's it. Yes. So that cum is useless. It's not just cum, but imagine it's cum that can never even be babies. Okay. It's bullshit. But I remember when y'all used to do stunts.

This is disgusting. I remember y'all used to do stunts. It was actually a delicate, like people in other countries actually ate it. Sometimes. Oh, sometimes. Yeah, like Balut. So that's not, that's just being mean. No, that's just being mean.

Okay, that's no other country is doing that just for fun. Yeah, they gave up on that whole, in other countries, this is considered a delicacy. Yeah, they gave up on that a long time ago. Yeah, you had to push the envelope on that now. One of the things that made things gross, smell-wise, was actually really expensive cheese. They would go to this expensive, what is it, a formagerie? What do they call them? What do they call one of those cheese places?

Yeah, that's like Italian for cheese. Formage? Formagerie. Formagerie. Isn't it French, too, something like that? Sure, probably, yeah, yeah. Jamie's my, that's my translation. They both come from LA.

I'm dumb. I'm dumb, so there you go. But anyway, this cheese that we would use was disgusting. It smelled so bad, but apparently it tastes really good if you're into that kind of cheese. Like, Bourdain was really into stinky cheese. Like, he would talk to me about it, like, with passion. Like, just the fucking stinkier the better. Like, disgusting smelling cheese, and the taste is fantastic. I'd be like, wow. about it like with passion like that just the the fucking stinkier the better like disgusting

smelling cheese and the taste is fantastic i'd be like wow i would think that the smell would turn you off taste buds yeah absolutely i don't know it's like one of those things where i guess you catch like the right vibe like you go in it with the right attitude there is no attitude if it stinks fuck that dude I can't eat this expensive cheese. And they would squeegee it off into a blender. Nah. And then they'd blend it up with the other stuff, like worms and shit. It would make the worms taste horrific or smell horrific.

Oh, so you were just messing with their smell sense. So it could make it seem like it was worse than it really was. It was making it worse because it smelled worse. So it was making it more like, you can smell it but people would just start retching it was it's a ridiculous fucking thing it's a ridiculous thing like to the show was really silly no but i i love that these people wanted to be famous well you did it too bro but i, but let me, no, no, no, no. But I was different. No, me too, me too.

I was different too. No, because how it happened, I was in Austin, Texas, and there was an ad in the paper that goes, hey, have you ever done anything adventurous? And I was like, no, let me go in for this cast. I was a radio DJ out there at this radio station. So I go in and then Mikey, they call him the chimp. He was the casting person.

Yes. And literally two weeks later, three weeks later, I'm in Hollywood shooting this thing. And then I meet you. And then I remember going up to you because I was in awe. It was the first time in Hollywood. I'll go.

And I knew you from news radio. I was like, how do you do it? And you go, just fucking be yourself. You can be successful. And that's what you're doing right now just fucking being yourself that's what you're doing too we're we're trying we're trying man i did listen what a ridiculous piece of advice just

be yourself just good luck whatever you do don't improve just be who you are right now forever good luck just be yourself that's all you need, bro. That's it. Just you. Don't let anybody tell you wrong. Just believe in your dreams. And make a vision board. Got to have a vision board. Joe was just trying to get me out of his face.

Oh, just be you. All right, bye. No, that is the right advice, especially if you want to be an entertainer. If you can figure out how to be yourself, as long as yourself is actually something interesting. And if it's not, work on yourself. Yeah. And then you even said that about acting. I remember specifically saying, oh, acting's not hard.

It's just you, yourself, and you play that emotion. And I was like, oh, that sounds easy. It's easy in comparison to stand up in some ways, but it's not like I disrespect the kind of shit that Daniel Day-Lewis and Leonardo DiCaprio. Well, yeah, when they get into a fucking role and you're like god damn that guy just owned that shit like they get into what i'm talking about like sitcom sitcom acting yeah sitcom acting and they were hiring you to be so easy at that time 100 yeah so it was a slightly dumbed down version of me who was into slightly more conspiracy theories than me when i was on news radio. That's all I was. Yeah.

It was basically me. Like, they wrote a lot of that conspiracy shit in after I talked to them about, like, JFK and fucking, you know, UFOs and stuff. You believe in UFOs? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. See, I believe in there's other life forms out there. Yeah, that's what I believe. I don't think they're coming here. They might. Here's the thing. They might. Well, why not think it's here's one thing i do believe most people are full of shit when it comes to like most of their stories like it's it's hard to find a person

that could just tell you what happened based on what they really remember people want to jazz things up and they want to add salt and pepper yeah they just sex with me they don't they don't they don't necessarily tell you the truth they tell you what they think is going to be an engaging story that kind of represents the truth maybe especially when it's a weird thing like you saw something in the sky what did you really see how long did you look at it for how many seconds was it well i mean here's the problem i have with ufos and i believe there are ufos but i don't think they're coming here why would you say that because that means their tech first of all if

they're coming here that means their technology is far way more advanced than ours right so why would they care if people saw them they would show up if i was an alien and i was that far ahead of us i would lay in that bitch right in the middle of time square and be like what we are here but why would you do that but why wouldn't i why am i hiding in fields where nobody can see us are you aware of how we treat uncontacted tribes yes to a point but but but what i'm saying is if you're that far advanced they know if they're coming here they know they're they're way smarter than us right because they've traveled here right and we don't even know other from far distances we can't even imagine and they're here they don't have to hide it's just like they do it because they have to

hide or do you think maybe they do it because we can't handle it because we can't handle it why would they care if we could handle it or not because here's the problem whenever any civilization has ever encountered a civilization far superior to them the results have always been catastrophic every single time every time europeans have invaded north america every time the spanish visited the mexicans every time this has happened it's been a disaster and this is human beings if there was something that came down here from another planet was so unbelievably sophisticated that it could travel through vast distances in space and had insurmountable impossible technology that we would look to it for all of our answers it would become our new daddy it would completely

disrupt all of our governments it would disrupt all of our religions it would disrupt every single belief system we have and people would fall apart they wouldn't know what to do psychologically it would be devastating look i'm not a doctor I'm not a psychologist But I know Most people would not Be able to handle it I understand that But why would they care

That's my whole point Why would they care about us Because it would be Affecting our culture But they wouldn't care But why wouldn't they care But why would they care We care about animals bro

There's a reason Why we have wildlife Protection agencies We have that Because we care about animals And animals don't even know we're a thing. If you're a deer living in the forest and you're two years old, you might not have ever even seen a person. You don't even know what the fuck we are.

But we're trying to keep those deer alive. We spend billions of dollars every year protecting them. We do that because we care about wildlife. If we cared about a rare monkey that we found in Indonesia, some strange monkey, we would do whatever we could to make sure that monkeys' populations thrived. If there was a way to help them. I mean, that's one of the reasons why zoos exist. They take rare animals. They try to breed them in captivity.

But we're also sharing the same earth. Well, then maybe they look at the universe that way. Okay. Okay. Nuclear civilizations, like our civilization. of the universe that way and maybe okay nuclear civilizations like our civilization i mean our civilization is a very dangerous one because we're we're a bunch of semi hairless monkeys with nuclear weapons i mean we're fucking nuts bro oh yeah we're obsessed with sex we jack off to our phones we're taking pills to keep our dick hard we're all on speed i mean we all have ad this

these are and we're at and we lie we lie about shit we we lie about things that people did to us we pretend people think did worse things we pretend that we didn't do things to people we lie about stealing we lie about money we lie about all kinds of things i mean people are so so you're thinking you're thinking aliens are thinking about all that before they come down of course course they would. Why wouldn't they? Because I guess I'm coming from a human point of view where we don't give a shit about anything. But here's the thing. That's not true.

We do give a shit about things. That's why when you go to the Galapagos Islands, you're not allowed to take your shoes that you walked around Los Angeles and walk around the Galapagos Island. Because people have done that and they've gotten seeds from their shoes stuck in the sand over there and the ground over there and then new plants grow that are invasive species they we're worried about ecosystems that we really are that's why humans that's where we're worried about invasive species when when new species get introduced to new ecosystems it's like we were just talking about this yesterday uh everglades like people are doing whatever the fuck they can to get the pythons and the everglades these assholes have released pythons and there's a real fucking redneck jurassic park going on in the middle of florida yeah you know we care yeah i

lived in miami man and at the time i lived in miami talk about like you did radio out there right yeah y100 in my hand it was after after Fear Factor. After Fear Factor. It landed me that big gig after I was on Fear Factor. Well, radio was radio back then. Oh, yeah. It was real. It was like huge, man. But I remember they had these lakes. And if you go back like 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators.

Yeah. Like just alligators did not give a damn. They were just snatching people. Yeah. And and i was like why are people jogging like literally i like stopped jogging well definitely don't jog near the water no and that's the thing i believe like eight people within six months got snatched just jogging my real oh 100 probably about eight to ten years ago just jogging i didn't know that that there was that many deaths ever from oh yeah they were getting snatched one of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near miami and uh he was in a stolen car parked his car on a bridge jumped off the the bridge, and landed on an alligator.

Alligator jacked him in front of the cops. And they were just sitting there going, well, there you go. Guilty. Imagine the dude jumps off the bridge, splash. That would be the- Look at this. Oh, my God. Dude. Oh, that guy didn't even notice until the last minute.

No, that's what I'm saying. Like, that happens in Florida at that time? That is so crazy that is such a big thing that eats deer and shit look at it opens its mouth on them but meanwhile it tries to get away from people well what's interesting the dude didn't even speed up yeah like i would have probably really tired to fuck these things man fuck these things but the craziest thing is when we were showing it yesterday

that pythons eat them alligators whole but not we showed a video dude one python ate this fucking big ass alligator and it blew its body apart apparently another alligator came along while it had it in its body

and tried to eat the python and so then it was like this disaster of a python with an alligator inside of it with no head oh yeah but the whole thing was that this python had ate the alligator and then once they eat it they can't move because they got a fucking 900 pound alligator but you love that shit i get a kick out i i know you do you do i got a problem with um i just i i think you love animals eating other animals i think it's important to recognize that we're we're we're very insulated from what the fuck is going on by cities yes and that in houses and cities and even towns even if you have a town it's rare that a fucking wild predator makes its way into your town but man that's the whole rest of the

world that's the whole world including the ocean everywhere is all just predators and prey predators and prey predators and prey we've figured out a way to insult but but in insulation the problem is when we're isolated from it we neglect it as an aspect of nature we put it in some weird box like oh my god this is weird no that's not weird that's normal yeah that's normal life normal life is big things eating littler things and you don't respect it. You really don't respect it when you don't see it. Like my parents want to go to Africa on a safari. I'm like, man, you can have that. Yeah, I would go if I got one of them like Jurassic Park mobiles that they have with the tall circle.

You roll around the circle and you can't get in it. You see these people are just in regular Jeeps. Open air Jeeps. Jeeps where a lion's just walking by. I'm like, how dumb are you? And most of the time, nothing happens. No, most of the time. But it could be one or two times where if you're in it.

Two years ago, a woman who worked on Game of Thrones, she was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car. That's right. She rolled down the window to take a picture and the cat came and snatched her out of the car. But don't you think people kind of like that deserve it like people that roll down windows and not safer like that's like people jumping in the pit at the zoo the other day well that's like a selfie the roll down the windows thing i think is really just it's what we're talking about that you're not around it enough so you don't understand what it is but do you have to be around it to know hey these are wild animals and i think they can get away with shit.

They've never had anything happen to them. Like they've never been punched. Look at this. This is a cheetah. Cheetahs are actually not, they're actually very curious and they're not dangerous to people. So this dude has no idea this thing is in his backseat. No, he's filming it. Oh.

He's filming it. That's why he's not moving. Is the rule don't move? I think so, man. I think the the rule don't move? I think so man I think the move is don't move You don't You don't want to scare him You definitely don't want to go

Hey motherfucker You don't want to do that And have him fucking rip your face off They don't have claws They don't have claws Like a cat does They're more like a dog Yeah

You know they're a weird animal They're like a weird cat dog thing You know They're super super fast Like I've. You know, they're super, super fast. Like, I've never seen one run in real life, but apparently people who I know that have seen it say you can't believe how fast it is. You know, one thing that blew me away, I was reading about it, that hippopotamuses kill more people a year than all the animals combined. All of them. All of them.

Yeah, all of them. And it's just like people just like don't respect hippopotamuses and they're fast and they're strong and they'll rip you apart they're they're like a giant pig yeah they're in the pig family like a cousin to a pig or some shit yeah and they're vegetarians yeah like they're just killing people estimated 500 people per year in africa they kill 500 people a year. They're aggressive and they have very sharp teeth. And not only that, man. People think there's

2,750 kilograms. What? What is that? What's that in pounds? That's more than 5,000 pounds. Yeah, 2.2 times that. So, yeah. Oh, my God.

Well, people don't respect because they think they're slow, too. So, when they see them, I think they run like 24, 25 miles per hour Where like a A person that runs A 100 yard dash

In the Olympics I think average around Like 29 to 30 miles per hour So you're barely getting away This hippo's Oh 19 miles Okay so that's still fast Yeah you're barely getting away

Well that's me I probably can't run 19 miles an hour I know I couldn't I'll probably get eaten Fuck Can you imagine You're like 20 yards

away from this thing you're like ah it's not gonna and then it just runs up on you well they say if you ever get chased by an alligator too the thing is to juke them go left and go right yeah that picture's terrifying man oh my god scares the shit out of me that scares the shit out of me i mean look at that guy He's airborne He's launching himself In the air Trying to get away from that thing Look at that Yeah they chase after boats in the water

They swim fast Yeah they try to fuck you up man They try to fuck you up 500 people a year dude Hippos Husband sees hippo bite out wife's heart What? Oh my god

Oh my god Imagine your wife falls into the water and you see the hippo rip open a rib cage oh i would be a hippo punisher i would go back to africa every year and kill every one of them i'd be responsible for hippo extinction they'd be like you can't do that i'd be like but i'm gonna come stop me don't i'm killing all the hipp stop me. I'm killing all the hippos. Why not? I'm killing all the snakes. If anyone new got killed,

the first day that something gets killed by a fucking python in Florida, when a human gets jacked, we should send in the Marines. Just go through the fucking swamp and kill them all. They're the enemy. You just get a giant line of human beings, go through and kill

those fucking serpents they're in the bible okay yeah they're in the bible snakes will eat your baby they will go through you kill them all i mean are they don't get cocky with monsters living in your fucking neighborhood is there any purpose of them though yeah they kill rats but the problem is in that area it's not established for them. So there was this rich ecosystem of mammals and reptiles. So you're talking about Everglades right now? Yeah. Okay.

It used to be there were some snakes, like cottonmouths and stuff like that. And there was alligators. But then there was like marsh hares and raccoons and skunks. Gone! They're all gone. They're gone. There's nothing left. There's just anacondas look at that pythons and nile crocodiles now if this got there's another one eating a fucking

well let me ask you something alligator and be honest with me if if that guy got eaten like a guy that actually tracks these reptiles do you feel sorry for him like if you putting yourself in harm's way yeah because i want that guy to be out there. I want that guy to kill those goddamn monsters. If you ever look into an eye of a snake and you go, oh, this thing doesn't give a fuck about anybody. It's like. It doesn't. I was watching this video of a crab and it's a crab, a mother crab just sitting there eating its babies.

It had like thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched like a couple weeks ago. And it's just sitting there eating its babies. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. You're going in the boiling water and I'm going to crack you open. I love crabs. Have you ever heard them scream when they go in the boiling water?

Scream? Oh, yeah. I don't think they're really screaming. I think it's probably air escaping their body. Look at this cunt. Eating her kids. Look at her. She's eating her kids.

This is crazy. I was at a friend's eating her kids this is crazy i was i was at a friend's house and they caught crabs and they would throw them and i think they scream man i think it's like no i don't have vocal cords no this is what is the name of this video jamie for people that are just listening it says a monster red crab eats babies the dark side of nature yeah she's an asshole i'm telling you joe they scream they make a noise when you put them in a hot boiling pot of water what is the bottom of her she's got a charcoal briquette stuck under her doesn't that look like one of them where the babies go easy light that's where that came from they came from and they come right back out that is so gross she's such an asshole she's sitting

there eating her kids you're like that anybody would give a fuck about crabs oh you know i mean it's not like i want them to go extinct but that's one animal that we in our house kill ourselves and no one has a problem with it it's like if they brought home a rabbit and you gotta throw it in the water like fatal attraction it's like that was the only way to keep nobody would eat rabbits no no no no and we throw them in like alive alive alive i'm telling you they're in the water most of the time most people don't even bother taking off the lobsters and lobsters we do not give a shit about lobsters you get in there fuck you get in there get in there you fucking bug you You see-bird. What's crazy is this whole Animal Kingdom thing, but one thing that scares me that you were doing when I walked in is playing these fucking shooter games.

Dude, that game is a real problem. Jamie and I have been going to war for the last, what, two months? When did it start? Like two months ago? Yeah, maybe like that. I'm in full-blown addiction mode now. But what is the thrill? What's the thrill?

Yes. Do you see us? We're all sweaty and adrenaline-charged. We're having a great-ass time. I walked in. It looks like I just finished working out. It was like crazy. Jamie and I were going to war.

We go to war. We talk a lot of shit, too. We go to war. Oh, man. I tried. It's fun. It's fun. When he kills me

He talks shit to me It's rough You're like God damn it He got me Fuckers Is that a game Where people can go online

And play with you too No we don't play With other people No we jump online This is the game This is it This is the game Yeah dude

It is a fun ass Fucking game It's called Quake Champions Okay And people right now Listening going God damn it

He's talking about That again But me and Jamie Have been And um and and jeff our other employee been playing this fucking okay see this isn't bad because they're like characters like i was playing one where it's like human beings like and when you shoot somebody like i got scared when you get scared to go into the next room because you're really that nervous, it freaks me out. These shooter games are too realistic. I grew up with Frogger, dude.

This is like you're always in some sort of a castle. Yeah. And the people that you're shooting against, they don't look anything like a person. They look like some weird cartoon character, but the graphics are sensational. But more importantly, the gameplay is very precise and um you you have to have like real hand-eye coordination and skills like you learn things like tactics you learn how to move around maps you learn how to control resources controlling resources is giant like that thing that guy just picked up yeah that's like 175 health and you want to get all the armor that

you possibly can then you also want want to be clever about weapons choices because you're always engaging at different distances, different kinds of fights. Sometimes you're stuck in a corridor and sometimes you're in an area where they can't shoot you, but you can shoot them if you use the right weapon. Man, you need to bring back to old school. Atari, that one red button, that grand jump.

What are you talking about? That one red button did everything on the joystick. No, you never killed a guy with a rail gun. Once you kill a guy with a rail gun, you'll understand. I don't want to kill a guy with a rail gun. But it's not a real person. He's laughing while you do it. When I shoot Jamie, if he jumps at me and I shoot him in midair with a rail gun, we both laugh. He shot me in the face the other day with a rocket.

It was hilarious. Dude, in the mug. I was like, in the mug. It was right in my face and I exploded. My whole screen just becomes a big red splatter. I'm like, fuck. It's fun. I can't handle it, man.

It's too much for me. The older I get, I'm just a puss, man. I need to man up. I used to be so aggressive. Well, you're a big dude. You're strong. That's why nobody messes with me. Oh, so they leave you alone. So you become a puss, man. I need to man up. I used to be so aggressive. Well, you're a big dude. You're strong. That's why nobody messes with me. Oh, so they leave you alone.

Yeah. So you become a pussy because of it. Yeah. You know what it's like? It's like. Like you like fight and all that stuff. Like I can't even. Like if somebody punched me in the face today, I don't know how I would react.

Like I don't know. I used to be a bouncer at clubs. I played college football. Like I was a tough dude. Now. You're falling apart. Dude. I'm going to get you to a gym. No, no at clubs. I played college football. I was a tough dude. You're falling apart. I'm going to get you to a gym. I'm in shape. Like a fight gym.

Learn how to fight a little bit. Not to fight people. So you don't worry about it. I never worry about it. Because I'm at home by 8.30. Sleeping by night. Why do you do stand-up? I saw you at the improv the other night. Nobody's going to jump on stage. I'm at home by 8.30. Sleeping by night. Why do you do stand-up? I know. I saw you at the improv the other night.

I know. Nobody's going to jump on stage. I'm talking about family. You never know, man. You never know. People are crazy. Has anyone- That dude jumped up on the WWF and attacked-

Who did he attack? Bret Hart. He attacked Bret Hart. During his speech. That's crazy. Bret Hart has got to be like, how old is he now? 61 and he's a stroke survivor. So fucked up.

And the guy tackled him. Yeah. Jesus Christ. But Joe, seriously, you think anybody's going survivor. So fucked up. And the guy tackled him. Jesus Christ. But Joe, seriously, you think anybody's going to jump on stage when you're on? Some dude could easily. Dude, you would fucking kill him. No, there's a lot of people that can kill me. Don't get confused.

I know a lot of them. Dude, I have them in here all the time. Yeah, I get that. But I just don't see me doing stand-up talking about family and love, and a dude goes, I hate family and love. I'm going to jump up there. No, it's not rational. No, you're right. I mean, a rational person wouldn't do that, but you're not worried about rational people anyway.

Okay, so say I started to go to a fight gym. Where would I start at? What would I do? I would say you should try jujitsu because it's fun. It's a really good exercise, and you'll learn some stuff. Okay. You'll learn some stuff okay you learn how to do it it's it's a technique based art whereas like say if um if you like there's there's guys that i will uh do jujitsu sparring we call rolling okay there's guys that

i will roll with that are weaker than me smaller than me and tap me every time i roll with them and i'm a black belt okay like that's reality reality. Like, there's guys out there that are 150 pounds that I can roll with that I know will tap me virtually every time we roll because their technique is sharper. They train more often than I am. They're more focused. They're more in the groove.

But I also heard you say, like, on one of your podcasts, you've got to watch out who you train with because they might just try to hurt you. That's true. So I need... You've got to go to a good school with good ethics because a good school with good ethics, they get rid of those guys.

Do you know one in Studio City? I'll do it. Sure, I'll get you a spot. I'll find you a spot. I'll do it. I want to learn. There's a good spot just a little further than that in Tarzana.

Okay. Machado's where I got my black belt. It's John Jacques Machado. I train there sometimes. And he used to have a place in Malibu, but it closed down because of the fires. But they have an outstanding gym. It's like it closed down because of the fires um but they um they have an outstanding gym it's like one of the best in the country and it's in that area

like as far as teaching yeah top notch like but there's a lot of really good jujitsu schools now it's not like um like when i started in 96 it was hard to find a good gym there was only like five of them in all of california right or because it was just starting out a good gym. There was only like five of them in all of California, right? Because it was just starting out. It was like 93 is when jujitsu sort of emerged in the public consciousness because of the UFC. And then the gym started like popping up. But I was really lucky.

There was like Hicks and Gracie's, which is where I took my first class. And then Carlson Gracie's. I thought they were like the same and the other one was closer. So I just switched to Carlson's. I didn't know shit. You know, I was a white belt. belt but and then there was machados and

then like a couple other places how long does it take you to get to a black belt like for you some guy it took me a long time i was a brown belt for eight years but it was just because i wasn't training as much as i should have like they you don't they don't give them away like you have to be a real black belt but who decides what is somebody just watching instructors yeah and you do people know okay but everyone knows it's like like you know when a guy is fucking killing like like let's take like theo vaughn for example like the i love him he hit a groove some time ago whether it's two years ago or whatever it was and i remember being in the back of the store and i was like dude dude, this motherfucker's on fire.

Yeah. He started hitting that groove that where, where you go and sit down, you want to watch his set, you know? And I think when that happens in jujitsu, it's the same kind of thing. Guys start talking about like,

dude, Mike has been tapping everybody. Dude, he's just, his, his jujitsu is so sharp. And you're like, man,

I'm going to watch him roll. And then you watch him all. You're like, dude, that pass, that guard pass. And then And you're like, man, I'm going to watch him roll. And then you watch him roll. You're like, dude, that pass, that guard pass. And then guys start asking, how often are you training? I'm going five days a week now. Really? Yeah, and I'm taking two privates. Fuck.

And then you know this guy is on the quest. And you'll see a guy go from white belt to black belt in three years. But they have to be super exceptional, like really unusual athletes, unusual mindset, unusual discipline. It can happen. Most of the time, like a garden variety estimate is like 10 years is realistic from white belt to black belt for a regular person. If you really train hard and you really dedicate yourself, but freaks can get there quicker.

Like BJ Penn, he won the Mundials, which is the world championships, after three years of training. Three years of training, he was a black belt, won the world championships. I won't be doing that. BJ is a special guy, though. He's also got legs that are like arms. He has leg dexterity like no one on the planet. Yeah, I got chicken legs. That's actually good.

Is it really? Yeah. You could cinch up triangles on people with chicken legs. Yeah, for real. I'll be cinch up triangles on people with chicken legs yeah for real and darcy's up people everywhere just think about it in terms of leverage guys with longer limbs like hodger gracie is a perfect example he's a really tall long guy he's one of the best jujitsu players ever they can do things with those limbs that a shorter person can't do in terms of leverage from joints and stuff like that. There's advantages to every frame. There's a guy like Husamar Palhares, the famous tank of a guy.

He's like 5'7", 200-plus pounds and just rips guys' legs apart. And he uses this short style to dive in on people's legs and get them in heel hooks and knee bars and rip their legs apart. He's terrifying. Yeah. And that style heavily favors being built like a little tank. Whereas that long, like you are, you're a tall, long guy. You would have good darts chokes, good rear nakeds, good arm bars, good triangles. You would have length and leverage with that length, especially with triangles.

Because long-legged guys, they can – like sometimes a guy like me with short legs, like I'll get my legs crossed and I have to adjust a lot to be able to cinch up by triangle. Whereas you might be able to just close it up right there. So you'll have like more opportunities for triangles because the length of your limbs have you would you have ever been at a point in your in your career when you were doing jiu-jitsu where you how would you have been in the ufc like at your prime like i have no idea i have no idea i would have had to have gotten way better like when i was fighting i was just kickboxing yeah i was kickboxing and first

of all first it was taekwondo and then went to kickboxing and by the time the ufc came around like on the ground i was useless okay it was a straight white belt i would get ripped apart every day i would go to the gym and if i if i tapped anybody like if it was like a a week went by and i tapped one guy but like whoa i fucking tapped ao, I fucking tapped a guy. I wasn't tapping anybody. There wasn't that many people doing it. So I was going with like, there was a couple of white belts maybe, and then there was blue belts and purple belts and brown belts, and those guys would always tap me.

And so that's just how it went for a long time. Unless you're some kind of freak, like some big-ass football player or some super athlete, you're probably not going to be able to hold these guys off. They're going to choke you. Now, was it true you were going to fight Wesley Snipes? That was way later, though. Way later. That was a brown belt by then, and I'd been doing a lot of training.

Would you have beaten him? I don't know because we never did it. You never did it, right? He's a real martial artist. He's a real martial artist, but he doesn't know jiu-jitsu. But that must have been exciting, though, for you to train. It was super exciting. Because I was thinking, like, I knew that he was a real legitimate martial artist.

Like, he throws kicks and punches, and it looks really good. Like, he really does know his shit. But I also know he never fought. And there's a big difference between throwing kicks. And I haven't fought in a long time, but I probably fought 100 times. Yeah. So I've felt that nerves but I probably fought a hundred times. Yeah. So I've been, I've felt that nerves. I know what that's like.

It'll be crazy as fuck to do it again. That's what I was thinking. I mean, it'll probably scare the shit out of me, but I think I know what to do. Like, I think I know how to like get in there and start fainting, start giving some movement and see how he reacts. And then the worst case scenario is like,

I'm like in a scramble I'm gonna strangle this guy Like if this If this comes to a scramble Yeah Cause the The average person Really doesn't know

How helpless they are Until a jiu jitsu black belt Grabs a hold of you And then you just go Oh shit Like I'm helpless Because in a fight You really think like You might be able to punch a guy

like maybe he's running me and he's swinging at me and i'm swinging at him maybe i hit him first you really think that but there's no swinging if it's a jujitsu fight if if if you guys get into some sort of a tussle and that guy grabs you and trips you and boom and he's on the ground with his hand on your jacket and knee on your chest you on your chest, you're a dead man. You're a dead man because there's no lucky shots. A jiu-jitsu black belt is just going to close the distance like that evil fucking crab, and he's just going to squeeze your fucking neck. And there's no way you're going to avoid it, and there's no way you're going to survive it.

You're just not going to. That's why you don't fight people. You can't fight random people on the streets like when you're young that was the thing you could go to bars yeah if you like i i i had some friends that like to throw down when i was younger and i i wouldn't do i was watching but good for you now it's kind of like you got to watch everybody because you don't know what kind of training they're doing like everybody's so educated on and it's so big right now well some guy fought off a guy in the subway that was attacking with a knife with some moves that he learned watching the ufc

never even trained before he just knew what to do yeah he like knew what to do because he'd seen guys like get the mount and drop ground and pound he like knew what to do based on watching it yeah i think it's good like when you mentioned i think it's good just to learn so you would feel better about yourself in case danger comes yeah man you want to be the person that gets to make the decision here's the thing right if you don't know how to fight and there's some drunk asshole who doesn't know how to fight either but he might come over and punch you in the face and sucker punch you and he could hurt you or knock you out in front of your woman you want to be the one who gets to decide yeah if i'm in a situation and some guy and he's like reasonably

close to my size and he's being an asshole and he's drunk and he gets aggressive with me i can decide what to do with him like i can it gets i don't want to hurt anybody but i'm not gonna let you hurt me yeah and you get to decide like you don't want like you've we've all seen these 7-eleven fucking parking lot fights on youtube or some asshole and both of them don't know how to fight but one guy might fuck that guy up he might kick him in the face while he's down you don't want to be that guy yeah like you don't want to be in that situation definitely walk away whenever you can like always we are so opposite because i've only been in one fight in my life it was in ninth grade playing basketball it was against a dude named matama like i'll never his name is

matama drake and i threw one punch and i hit him right in the face and he looks at me and goes what's up and i was like no no No, no. Oh, no. I was like, oh, no. I was like, oh, we're good. Oh, my God. We're good. Did he let you get away with it? Oh, yeah. We started playing basketball.

Thank God. Wow, that's it? That was it. Damn. Literally, I hit him as hard as I could. That guy could take a shot. Oh, and he was just like, what's up? I was like, nothing.

Nothing is up. So that's the only fun. And he didn't hit you back? No. Wow. No, because then I started, you know, oh, okay, it's your ball. That's a confident man, though, to not try to get you back. That's interesting.

And then I was, there was a club in Houston named Power Tools that I used to. Is that a gay bar? No. It was. No, no, no. It should be, right? It sounds like one. Sounds like a hardcore gay bar.

In Houston, the gay bar was called Rich's at the time. But I worked at Power Tools, and I was a b bouncer so that's when i was like 250 pounds you know uh you were a lot bigger when i met you oh yeah because i played college football for arkansas so i played outside linebacker so i was so did you just stop lifting weights or do you still like a little bit no i'm all cardio now because you know like trainers any trainer i work with since i got a big frame they're like what put some side no i want to stay lean right you know but it's good for old age too man you don't want back problems like i'm 44 years old now yeah isn't that crazy dude dude time flies i'm 51 see we're 55 zero dude and it's so scary when you read stories about people just dropping dead, like around your age.

Luke Perry. That's what I'm saying, man. Basically my age. Well, they said, what is the danger zone is like 45 to 55 with heart failure. It's like, oh, man. Dude, I beat my body up. I'm running that bitch until the fucking wheels fall off. I'm always getting stem cell shots.

I'm fucking running hills and lifting weight i still live heavy weights i'm retarded yeah why don't you say that word i said it again trying to get that rid of that word out of my vocabulary it just comes out sometimes why are you still lifting weights like heavy like that like what does it do for you well it does a bunch of things first of all if you want to train jujitsu it's okay very good to be strong yeah it makes a big difference first of all for defense you want to train jiu-jitsu, it's very good to be strong. It makes a big difference. First of all, for defense, especially for defense. For offense, for sure, too. But really, you want to be able to defend.

Defending, you have to be strong. But also, you just like being bigger. It helps. Yeah. I like it. Yeah, I like being able to pick up things. I like the physical ability of being strong. I like being in shape, too.

I like being able to run for long distances. I like knowing that I can go rounds on the bag like i'll do five hard rounds on the bag so you can run my knees are messed up i can't like get on a treadmill and run i can do like i've done the stem and the knee and it's helped out a lot but i'm still that dude that's on i'm like on the elliptical fortunate i'm super fortunate about my knee injuries i've had knee injuries but um my meniscus i only had one meniscus scope on my left knee and it wasn't terrible like i was back to full 100 function after that and my right knee i didn't i have a little baby tear that i got some stem cells shot into but i had both of them reconstructed their acls were replaced but um no problems they work

they work great yeah see i i just need to i listen to you and it's like you're always taking something and i'm like oh i gotta find out what that is and now i just want to get in better shape i'm in shape but i it's when you get older it's just like tough it is tough it just starts he is writing it down like you have to do it like do you do you keep a daily schedule of shit you have to do no i just wake up and go i i do have i wake up i work out like a cardio workout and then i do infrared sauna which has changed my life change your life right every morning i infrared sauna for now amazing it's the best you sweat all that shit out you like you feel great your skin glistens like i i think it's actually like changed the game for me

i have more energy now everything's better it's so good for game for me. I have more energy now. Everything's better. It's so good for your body. They did a study that showed a 40% decrease in mortality amongst all causes. Heart attack, stroke, cancer. 40% decrease with people that were doing the sauna four times a week. Well, I will tell you this because the whole thing is everybody wants to feel young. And when you were young young the thing you did most was sweat and i feel like when i sweat it just it's a it feels i don't know i just feel good

sweating because it reminds me when i played sports it reminds me even though i'm not doing on the you know i sweat a little on the treadmill but when i do that infrared sign it makes me feel great and young i think it's there's a bunch of shit going on but there's that for sure like it's good to feel good like you're sweating but there's heat shock proteins your body actually produces anti-inflammatory properties it's really good for you it's really good for joint aches and all kinds like this i used to think of the sauna as being nonsense like what are you fucking laying in a sauna for like what are you doing there just getting hot yeah just go work out but what kind of what kind of sauna do you do though i do a regular sauna okay super hot regular sauna i'm telling you you need to try the infrared yeah you can

yeah i mean but look it's all just about getting your body hot yeah like it's good to try the infrared i'm sure i'm sure it works great but this study the 40 percent decrease mortality that was with a regular sauna okay yeah that's why i got a regular sauna because uh dr ronda patrick told me that um the studies that have been done have all been done with a regular sauna and she said there might be some benefit for infrared sauna but i don't know what's published what is see if there's a benefit see if this they could say what's the benefit to infrared probably cooking my organs i don't even know it no i don't think so man i think it's great for you i just feel amazing after that's supposedly what happens right it like

gets deeper in your tissue yeah it's supposed to go deeper. Yeah. I remember us texting back and forth. I was like, you got it. If you do the infrared sauna for like a week, it's a game changer. Regular sauna is too. So I don't know. I would like you to try regular sauna too.

How hot does the infrared get? Like 140, 140. It's not heating the air though too. It's a difference. Yeah, it's not. It doesn't heat the air. Like you walk in and it feels, it doesn't feel like it's that. That's just weird. That's not heating the air, though, too. It's a difference. Yeah, it doesn't heat the air. It's a different. Like, you walk in, and it doesn't feel like it's that. That's just weird.

That's some microwave shit. I'm not into that, man. That's like Hot Pockets. You ain't turning me into a Hot Pocket gym dad again. That's what I'm saying. I'm probably burning up all my organs right now, but I love it. I like going in and feeling that super heat. You go in there, and you're like, oh.

It feels so good. I love it. So good for you. Do you fuck with. You go in there and you're like, oh. It feels so good. I love it. So good for you. Do you fuck with cold? Do you ever do like cryo or anything like that? I tried that once. Yeah. And it was right after the infrared sauna.

You're like, try the cold. It's just, I don't know, man. It wasn't my thing. What do you mean? It wasn't my thing. Like how so? Like it was fucking freezing. That's why.

It's cold. But how is it not your thing? But it's just, I don't want to. You don't want to do it? I don't. No. No. I love heat. It's cold. No. How is it not your thing? But it's just, I don't want to, I hate. You don't want to do it? I don't, no, no.

I love heat, but the cold thing is like, nah, I'm good. I'm good on that. I understand. You know, it's,

you love it? I love it. I do it too. I love both of them. Do you go back to back? That's what they say you should do. I have not gone back to back, but I've gone and done both of them in a day.

Yeah. I like, I like hot yoga too. I like hot yoga and then doing the cryo, which they say you shouldn't do because it'll give you a heart attack. Oh, doing it hot to cold? Says who, pussy?

Yeah. Who's doing that? Be a man. Who's getting a goddamn heart attack? Step up. Who's getting a heart attack from going from hot to cold? Not us. Is that really happening?

Maybe it is. I used to do hot yoga. I need to get back into it. I just got to get flexible, man. It's just, that's the tough thing about getting old and you know flexibility flexibility because what they say most most older people die on the toilet because they can't get up you know they they have some problem and they can't get up from wherever they are is that real oh yeah oh yeah that's a crazy way to go yeah just on the toilet you always think like elvis like as you're dying you'd be like damn me and elvis i just don't want to die stupid right you know some stupid like you'll be reading uh in new york

city some guys just walk in and something falls on them you know front oh or a person how about that suicidal person lands on your fucking head i was at adidas and uh the flagship in new york adidas and like five minutes before I got there, you know, a person just jumped off and killed themselves right outside the store. Like out of residence. Jesus. Yeah, it's just...

That's one of the craziest ways to go. Like the feeling of regret you must have when you feel the air under your feet and you're falling. And you can't do nothing. And that's a wrap, dude. You made the decision. You pulled the trigger.

Here it comes. The great beyond. Bang. What goes through your mind when you're going down like that? And it's your choice. You know what I mean? You're probably filled with unbelievable terror. Unbelievable terror.

Even though it's your choice. There have been people that have survived jumps into the ocean. They've off like the golden gate bridge oh yeah all the time yeah i mean it's like one of the number one suicide spots in the u.s yeah but some of them make it they survive that would suck yeah or like if you really wanted to die and you didn't die maybe not maybe you got a new lease on life like maybe you hit the water and you're like what i'm alive what the fuck i i never could get myself to that place like i i like my life too much right now yeah well you're happy and that's an awesome thing but you know we're talking about spectrums yeah there's clearly a spectrum of that yeah you know and some people i think have it horrifically they just have whatever forever whatever chemical imbalance, life experiences that are awful, PTSD, whatever the formula is.

They have it to the point where it's almost unbearable every day. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Like my dad, he served our country in the Army, and it didn't seem to affect him at all. But he has friends that it's affected i have friends that have served they're affected by it and yeah what was that movie it was about benghazi um i forgot john krasinski did it but i had to interview the real guys that pulled off got the people out of benghazi and the normal world is so boring to them.

Like literally they got excited when they talked to, you know how it feels to have bullets whizzing by your head, you know, and you shooting at people like literally the real world is so, and that's why they keep going back because that's the only way they can get that adrenaline rush, which is, you know, to me,

I'm like, that's crazy. But to them, that's where they get their high. And that's life to them. That's how they're living. And I interviewed the three or four soldiers that went out there and saved these people. And you saw that look in their eye.

You know what I mean? It was like they would go back now if they could. And they hated hearing how one of their own lost their lives out there. They were like, I could have done something about that. And that's what they talked about is like, why we always want to go back is every time we hear one of our, um, one of our fallen soldiers, they, they fell, we could have saved them.

And two of them were snipers and the other two were on the ground and they were like, man, it's just, it's just real life is, is very tame for us. You know, it's almost a, I'm putting more now I'm paraphrasing, but I would say they think it's a bore just living our normal lives. And unless they're fighting for our country and saving people's lives, like everything else is just boring. Yeah, I mean, you talk about literally life being turned up to 10. There's nothing else that compares to it on the planet other than being a police officer yeah can you in a shootout or or just just imagine like a police officer walking up to a car that's freaky enough you don't know what's inside that's like you're playing roulette yep you don't know what's inside that car yeah you know like look there are some bad police out there but as just put yourself in

that spot where you're a cop getting out your car walking to a car with tinted windows yep knocking on the window you don't know what you're gonna you don't know if it's a barrel of a shotgun you don't know you have no idea you have no idea and people have to realize that tension they carry with them all day they might have 20 of those interactions absolutely all day and and and a couple could have been really bad for them and if you have you give them any bullshit or don't appreciate or respect that they're immediately going to go oh okay yeah you fucking asshole and you're the enemy now and it's horrible it's horrible that we give a person the kind of power that police officers have when they abuse it, but it's also horrible that we create this relationship between fellow citizens.

A cop is just a citizen. It's just one of us. Where we are the enemy if we're not following the book, especially when the book is stupid, like it's pot laws or something dumb like that. Yeah. Or you're catching guys getting jerked off. Like, Jesus Christ. dumb like that yeah or you're catching guys getting jerked off like jesus christ you know i've been pulled over a couple times and i i gotta say you know most of them like my dad you know they say a black thing to do when you have a black father they tell you very early on

when a cop pulls you over hands out let them see it you know it's taught to us yes when we're when we're born and raised especially where i grew up so you know i even been profiled and i'm you know like and i'm half black you know you don't know what I really am a lot of people, but I've been profiled. So I know when I see, when I hear the stories and I've been in cars with my friends that are dark skin black and they've been pulled over and it's a thing where you're upset because you feel like you're being profiled. But man, once that cop walks over, you need to show all due respect because they they control that game now it's a hundred percent their game once they pull up to your window you're in their cart you also should think that they are entirely necessary for a civilized society hundred percent

and if you want to be able to call the police if some shit is going down you should appreciate them when they're there and you know this does not discount all the bad cops. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It does not discount all the things that we've all seen. The shootings were unjustified. Punchings were unjustified. This is what we have to keep, though. Perspective.

Because there's so many interactions. There's so many cops out there that are dealing with PTSD all day long. Because for a decade or two decades of their life, they have been dealing with crime andd all day long because for a decade or two decades of their life they have been dealing with crime and violence all day long every day and they dress like the enemy they're not just a cop they're a cop who has to wear a cop outfit so everywhere you go like when you're playing quake and you're playing team matches here he goes quake the dude has a special flag over his head you know that's a target. I mean, if you see cops, like bad guys see cops as the enemy.

You're being paid to be the enemy, even if you've never had an interaction. If you're a bad guy and that's a cop, that's the enemy. And that is a crazy position to ask people to be in. But even for people that don't have interactions with cops a lot, they still consider it the enemy. Sure. Because if they pull you over for lot, they still consider it the enemy. Sure. Because if they pull you over for speeding, it's gone through my mind. It's like, nobody's on the road right now. Why are you pulling me over for speeding? I'm not hurting anybody.

It's just a waste of time. Well, they're trying to write a ticket because they have to write a certain amount of tickets. They have to write. And that's when I think it goes over the top where it's like, come on now. I was talking to a cop about that. I said, okay, now let me ask you this. What if everybody agreed to never speed? Like we made up like a six month agreement in this country where we would never speed

and no one speeded and there was no more traffic violations in terms of speeding tickets. What the fuck would happen? And he was like, people would just get laid off left and right. They would just cut. Yeah. They were like, I think they would just slash the police department they put quotas on you because you're a glorified revenue collector i mean that's what don't you think that's a problem though like when you're pulling people over and i think that it all look the problems with the

police and people start from the core and that's a major problem if you have to pull over people even if you're a cop and go they're not really doing anything bad but i have to meet my quota of tickets that starts from a very negative place terrible terrible place terrible place terrible place and terrible place for for both parties terrible place for the cop to bury his head in the sand and realize he's writing someone a ticket for no reason you know like you catch someone speed limit 65 they're sick they're going 69 you pull them over like get the fuck out really yeah how do you can't even pay attention like there's no way unless i'm not looking at the road like unless i have cruise control or i'm not looking at the road all i might get to 69 i might back up to 65 again even if i'm trying to go the speed limit but i know people that have

been pulled over four miles over a hundred percent and but as a driver of that car going four miles over you're pissed yeah like automatically jacked yeah you just got jacked and in your mind you're protecting and we all know he's writing a ticket just to write a ticket yeah it's probably the 27th or 28th of the month yeah and they got to meet their quota and he just put like that's where they driving to vegas is the worst they set up traps yep and especially close to the end of the month you know if you're driving to vegas go to speed limit because they're waiting for you i got pulled over by a plane have you seen this going to vegas they have planes that now radar you they don't even and then they send out cop cars so the plane radars you and then a cop car pulls you over yes oh my god yeah yeah

and that was the last time we went to vegas i went with my wife and son and we got pulled like a cop car came out of nowhere and my wife here's the difference you know this shows that my wife is white from wyoming right and this is the big difference that's real white that that's white white pilgrim that's like casper the friendly ghost white that's like cowboy white right translucent cowboys right yeah only cowboys up there wyoming cowboys yeah did your your wife grow up on a ranch no shit no no no i think they're cities yeah they she grew up in gillette gillette wyoming what the fuck is that gillette wyoming how many people there 80 i think 3 000 come on no seriously they're like the brady bunch i'm married into the brady bunch like seriously they're real like it's like good morning michael how are you like they

are those people that's kind of cool no it's great so a cop pulls us over for this vegas trip and this is the difference in cultures we have and this this is why I try to tell my wife. When the cop came over, his name, let's say Officer Andrew, he comes over. I'm very polite. I said, yes, sir. You got it. No problem. I was speeding. No problem. My wife and the cop goes, we pulled you over by a plane. So he gives me a ticket. I'm like, hey, officer, have a great day. He's like, you too, sir. My wife is in the back seat with my son rolls down the window when he's walking away and goes excuse me uh how do you know it was this black suv i see lots of black suvs passing us and it's from a plane are you serious i'm like i'm about to die the cop turns back around like comes to my side of the window and says excuse me ma'am and but just the privilege to be able to talk to a cop like that because she has no idea she has no idea that's the real white

privilege that's the real white and i'm like babe and i'm like telling the cop tell me about i'm telling the cop i'm saying hey baby it's okay i was speeding do you talk about this on stage no you fucking should i know dude that's hilarious and i'm like you should for sure i will about this on stage it's it's just it scared me because i was scared because she's the cop comes back around write that down right now okay take that pad write that down write it down you must talk about this on stage white wife yeah cop. Wyoming, all that shit. White wife, cop. Plane. Privilege. Plane, radar, black SUV, Wyoming, cowboy, white people, horses, Mustang, ranch. Dude, so.

Shoe horns. Horseshoe. Dude, he comes back over and he's trying to explain to my wife about a plane. And she's giving this cop attitude oh no yeah oh no and when we drive off i go baby you cannot do that like you almost killed me she was like stop being ridiculous i'm like no no you really no you really could have got me killed you never know you never know wrong guy wrong place wrong time wrong history wrong background wrong state of mind that he's in.

What if he didn't like a black dude married to a white woman? For sure. Yeah. And she didn't get that. But now she gets that because we have a son. You know what I mean? So I think once you have a multi-ethnic son, now she's like, oh, I'm all about Moana. I'm all about – she doesn't – like, she's all about the ethnic cartoons and not the white

she's trying she's trying she's got a good mindset yeah she's trying and her family's trying you know it sucks that anybody has to ever worry about getting accidentally shot by a cop and the problem i think is not going to go away until the problem of crime goes away. And that's not going to happen either. So what do we do to make life safer for everybody? That's a real good fucking question. Well, I think awareness for sure. Like people being aware of all these videos. That's one thing that I think that Black Lives Matter did that people don't want to accept,

but it's really important, is it became a national thought. Yes. It's not just another story in the news. It's a national thought. Like this is a another story in the news it's a national thought like this is a movement to try to eradicate this and all the times where you've seen guys plant guns on people after they've shot them like all the crazy videos yeah you see videos of black people with no guns getting shot and then here's the problem they go to court and then the cops are innocent did you see the one where the guy throws the gun down on the ground?

Was it a taser? What did he throw down on the ground? It was like he shot him, and then as he's coming up to the body, he dropped something on the ground. When I was growing up, at least, I don't know when it changed, but cops were supposed to shoot not to kill you, but to handicap you. Like shoot you in the leg, shoot you in the arm. These guys are not that good a shot there's a lot of cops that are just not good at shooting guns i mean there's a lot that are military trained that are very professional and very serious who are but it's like look i watched

a video the other day of a guy getting in an altercation it's an off-duty cop got into an altercation with this guy and he tried to pull his gun out the guy grabbed him grabbed his wrist guy did not know how to fight at all and probably only knew how to like shoot people yeah he gets taken down the guy obviously knew jujitsu took him down mounted him took the gun from him threw the gun away and beat the fuck out of him from the mount pounding on the guy turns his back he gets his back he's beating the shit out of him it's horrific because this cop thought he was safe and pulled his gun but this is like one example of like just because someone's a cop doesn't mean they're a well-trained prepared cop there are those out there for sure but there are

also some slobs like i've seen some guys that are they're a cop i'm like bro you can't run a block how the fuck are you a cop yeah yeah you, like this is a ridiculous position for you to put yourself in and anybody else you're trying to protect. You're handicapped by gluttony. Yeah, but at the same time, we do need them. We do need the cops. We need them to be more respected and appreciated. They're not very respected and appreciated by a lot of people. I think that's a huge misservice.

What I hate about this conversation, whatever side they're on with the cops, they're going to pull whatever they want because we've talked negative. Well, not negative. We've said some things about it. And I hate how we're in such a polar place where, oh, you're either for them or against them. And that's like with everything. And that's what I hate. You can't have a conversation anymore. And that's where we're at right now.

It's like you can't say anything wrong with cops because then you don't support the cops if you support the cops then you'll get attacked by the other side going oh well they kill innocent people what i know sure someone can take a clip of anything you've said today without further elaboration because most of what you said you further elaborate absolutely they could take that one snippet and just put a little clip up somewhere michael yeo said this, or worse yet, quote it. This is what he said about cops.

People are like, fuck him. I thought he was pro-cop. Well, that's the world we live in today. This is the world we live in, and that's why it's so horrible, man. Well, it is and it's not. It is. That part is horrible,

but it's the best time to be alive ever. The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to understand our effect on each other's the best time to be alive ever. The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to understand our effect on each other. The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to access information. The best time for, if something is going on, you alert people that this thing, like a crime is taking place. Oh, 100%. We could spread the news of it so quick.

We just have to, we were just not used to so much. We're not used to so much that we have to deal with all day. We're not designed for so much. And it happened in 35 years. You know, just think about our parents, right? When we were growing up, the TV was black and white, and then it went color. And that was the big thing for them. For us, there were no cell phones or internet.

And then in the last 35 years, I don't think you'll ever see a technology our in like the last 35 years i'll i don't think you'll ever see a technology boom like in this last 35 years so many advancements happen so quick and that's why we today can't react to them fast enough we don't know like like now parents are doing like parents that are our age are doing the same things the kids are doing where my dad never cared about playing atari or doing anything he had totally different interests where now the kids that are coming up since this boom is so fast we're still learning new technology and now our kids are learning it with us and there's no separation i i agree and i think it's definitely like untreaded territory but i disagree that that we'll never see a boom in technology like we've already seen i think we haven't even scratched the surface really yeah we haven't even but when

you have but i i guess i'm saying things that change the world like there was no internet joe now there's a thing that elon musk is working on called neural link and i don't know exactly how this works because he wouldn't exactly explain it but the concept is about increasing the bandwidth between human brain activity and information somehow or another to get information quicker to you and have you access it in a quicker manner i don't know what the fuck that means it's something you wear on your head some dude just tried it jamie there's an article that just... I just found out I'm looking at it right now.

Yeah, some dude just said, I might or might not have tried Elon Musk's Neuralink. He's kind of bound by silence, but there is a real possibility that... Think about... Here's how to look at it. Think about Wi-Fi, right?

Wi-Fi's in this room. We use it. You can access... You can shut your phone it. Think about Wi-Fi, right? Wi-Fi is in this room. We use it. You can access, you can shut your phone off and turn your Wi-Fi on, and you'll be able to access all the information on the internet. But where is that coming from? Where is that? It's in the air. It's in the sky. It's all around us.

If you can wear something that picks up on that in the same way, picks up on Wi-Fi in the same way, picks up on cellular signals, whether it's 4G or 5G, which is coming out soon, which is supposed to be unstoppably powerful. Yeah. If that can feed information directly to your brain through something that you wear, just the way they do these, you know, they have these electrodes they put on your head and they send magnetic pulses to different parts of the brain,

helps people with traumatic brain injuries helps people with depression they've been able to do this by taking these little things and they stick them to your head and they they'd send this pulsating magnet in there they could already affect the brain with external stimulation they already know how to do that if they can figure out how to do that in a much more sophisticated way, we are on the edge of becoming cyborgs. And it's not far away. We're talking about within the next decade, maybe two decades, there's going to be something that changes a person and makes – like if you're a person with a limited education and no phone but think about how little access to the world's knowledge base you had now if you're a person with limited access to information and education but you have a phone and that phone is online you have everything so that changes everything this person

now can access all the knowledge i mean it's not perfect if you google things some of the things are bullshit some articles are dumb they don't make sense but you have possibility of finding all the information now in the future i think that as going that's going to be escalated and it's going to be escalated exponentially there's going to be some new leaps in technology that happen that guys like you and i that don't work in the field we're not we're gonna see it coming these people are working on these things right now and they're competing with people in china and russia and all over the world that are also working on these technologies and they're gonna get through and they're gonna make something and that something

is gonna change reality as we know it and it's probably right around the corner the same way cell phones and the internet changed our reality as compared to our parents this is going to change it but the neuro thing is it i i get that your brain gets it right away but i don't know how it works but but let's say your brain gets it you put this machine on like this and then it sends it straight to your brain what's the difference of that besides quicker than you being on the computer and looking up you're still getting the same so i don't think that's the case but you're getting the same information i don't think that's how it works what does this guy say this is uh april fool's joke is an april fool's joke oh what is the title of the article elon musk might have let me try a neural link prototype

but oh really but let's say and i know you don't know about but let's say you put on a device and all the information goes to your brain you're still getting the same information maybe not But let's say, and I know you don't know about, but let's say you put on a device and all the information goes to your brain. You're still getting the same information. Maybe not. Have you ever seen someone use an exoskeleton? You know what an exoskeleton is? What is that?

Exoskeleton is like a suit that you put on that's like, say if you work in a factory, it'll allow you to pick up much heavier things. Like, remember the movie Aliens? Yes. Sigourney Weaver, she's fucking up that thing. She's inside that robot. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Get away from her, you bitch. You're like, whoa, whoa. This is awful. Ferocious. That's like a giant robotic exoskeleton. This is an exoskeleton that they use for people that are paralyzed. Got you. And it helps them walk.

Okay. They also are developing exoskeletons. Oh, that's a chair, huh? There's seven of them here. That's pretty dope. That one has extra legs. Oh, that's a chair, huh? There's seven of them here. That's pretty dope. That one has extra legs. Oh, that's pretty dope. There's things that help people, like that gal right there is not a big person, but she can work in a factory, and you can carry things that are much heavier than what you would ordinarily be able to carry.

Okay. Now, they think that as technology moves and improves, they're going to get to the point where they develop what's essentially like an Iron Man suit. That's like an exoskeleton. The Iron Man suit, when he wears that, he's invincible. He can fly. He can smash things and pick things up and throw things. That is entirely

possible that this is going to be our future. That there's going to be suits that we wear that make us impervious. Look at this guy. He's got one that lets him fly around. He's got rockets that come out of his hands. You think the government would ever approve that for us to get? They don't have a chance. It's not whether or not they approve it.

It doesn't have anything to do with them. It has to do with the technologists. It has to do with the scientists. It has to do with the geniuses that are creating these things because they're going to come in waves and these fucking dummies that don't even understand what facebook is yeah these are the same guys they're going to stop these people from putting out iron man suits they're not going to

tell them until it's way too late too late they're already the one they tell them they're going to make them for sale and they're not going to give them the option as to whether or not they regulate them they're just going to they're going to make them for people and then you're going to have to figure out the laws once people have them and then then once grandma has one, and all of a sudden grandma's playing tennis again, you tell me grandma can't play tennis because some bad guys want to use an exoskeleton to rob a bank? Because that shit's coming. All of it's coming. Bulletproof exoskeletons.

But I still, everything you've said so far still, to me, is not bigger than not having internet. Well, the internet opened the the door but we don't know if that tech not like the thing that you can like talk into your phone and you can say hey siri when was uh the constitution formulated yeah you know hey siri what was the first draft of the declaration of independence written on you could you can ask those questions the serial answer those questions google search will answer those questions for you but what if you just know it what if that thought interfaces with your brain in a way where it describes things maybe in symbols or direct feed of information through some unfathomable technology that literally just permeates language it gets through

all of that gives you information if i speak to you in aates language it just gets through all so if i speak to you gives you information if i speak to you in a different language it automatically translated things like yes that's well they already could do that you know they have these google earbuds yeah there's pixel buds i think they're called really if that worked would they just get rid of school or at school only be to tell you how to work well you need scholars because you would need to know whether or not this this stuff is accurate you would need women and men who are educated in this and that's this is one of the reasons why the scientific method is so important one of the reasons why when people shit on like ridiculous things like um

like grievance studies and a lot of the things that are overcoming universities these days you're taking away with your preposterous social justice ideology you're taking away from the real pursuit of knowledge and information because you want it to match away with your preposterous social justice ideology. You're taking away from the real pursuit of knowledge and information because you want it to match up with your ideology. This is a dangerous time to fuck with information. Oh, absolutely. Because people are already pooling up in these little echo chambers. Whether it's message boards or Twitter groups that you're in,

and they feed off of each other and agree on each other with each other all the time you gotta be really careful with information these days and also you know they have to keep scholars to keep the real information because it's just like that uh one show i forgot what it's called black something black box black black mirror like they can change reality like literally like if you don't have scholars to oversee this stuff they can be like oh you know what slavery never happened or this stuff, they can be like, oh, you know what? Slavery never happened. Or this never happened. And it would go away because the people born today would never know. There's people that to this day will deny the Armenian genocide.

There's people to this day that deny that. I mean, this is a real thing. Yeah. There are certain human beings that deny that. And what's it going to be like 100 years from now? I mean, how many of those people will exist then? There's a lot of those circumstances in life where you have to be really careful about what information is, what's process.

Like we have to, you have to be a hundred percent accurate. If you're saying something that is a historical record and you can't fuck with it at all, but they are now, but everybody has every history, but that's the reasons why all religions are different, right?

Cause everybody has their own little version of history. I mean, it's one of the reasons why many different religions have stories of Jesus, but they vary widely. But they vary. Yeah, yeah. Who's telling the truth? Well, I mean, it's a thing where what's scary to me about this world today is that misinformation is out there all the time. And people believe it and people just people don't read anymore they just listen to the bullet point and scream that out like

literally and i don't want to get political or anything but but i remember when everybody was saying obama's going to raise taxes and they were interviewing people that didn't even make thirty thousand dollars saying oh he's going to raise my taxes like nah he's not even talking about you but you're yelling out a bullet point. If you would have read the article, you would have read, you were fine. That's the thing. People are in today. We want to yell out bullet points.

If Fox news, if you watch that and they say this, you're just yelling at that, but you never read. Like if CNN is your thing, you're just yelling what they're saying, but you don't read like me. I watch both. I actually read both articles. I could talk politics all day. I think there are good things that Republicans do.

I think there's good things that Democrats do. I think Democrats right now are in a state where they fight amongst each other. They're going to crush each other. Before the election even comes, it's like Obama said, it's a circle and fire squad. They're shooting at each other and and here's the thing the good thing about the republicans bad or good however you take it if one of them says let's go they go with democrats it's uh let's talk about it i mean it's more intelligent way to do it but they don't have each other's back i feel as much and that's

why their messaging is always off that's why donald trump donald trump could have never been a democrat like if donald trump said i want to run for president and been a democrat they there's there's they wouldn't mesh with the republicans it works because oh we just want to stay in charge and whatever he says we're going to roll with you know george bush uh weapons of, weapons of that. Let's go. You know, it's just, they're a hundred percent behind it where I think, why do you think that is? Uh,

I want to, you know, I, when I was, I grew up, I, I voted for Bush after nine 11, right.

Cause I'm from Texas, you know, and I think it's the ideology, uh, ideology, ideology that, Oh, we want to pay back in. It's, I don't want to say good old boys but it's like

hey rah rah let's go yeah that's the whole thing it's it's man you remember when the flags were on everybody's car oh yeah oh yeah and it was like we were all behind it dude that was the weirdest i remember i was driving somewhere and uh i made a turn on the street near my house and it was uh one or two days after 9-11 and i never saw more flags on cars in my life it was like the world changed oh like everybody had a flag on their car and everybody cared about each other or at least had that and that's the thing that's sad about the world today is i tell everybody, and I'm not a politician, but I will say this. When you have two different teams that are rivals, they'll never come to the same conclusion unless there's tragedy. Right.

That was one of the things that Reagan said once when he was talking about they were meeting with Gorbachev. And he said, I often wonder how we would put our differences aside if we were faced with an alien threat from another world. Oh, we totally would. The idea that this global conflict that we think about in terms of Russia versus the United States, but if there were some fucking aliens coming down here, war world style. It would be Independence Day. Everybody would join forces everybody because now you have a common enemy and i also believe the way the our country's being ran right now you know trump is good at making an enemy that he survives off an enemy this person's an enemy right now everybody attack him now this person's

an enemy everybody attack him i'm not saying it's right or wrong i'm just saying that's the way it is you know he just fucks with people apparently there's some dude that's his head of secret security or secret service that he calls dumbo because the dude has big ears he replaced him he replaced him oh he fired him dude he is he's a fucking wild man and he's probably on speed that's what i think but it's crazy man like i i'm just watching this and he's hilarious i mean if it wasn't the fact that you think that like the moral fiber of our country is deteriorating. Is this the guy? Oh, he does have big ears.

He's got some big ass fucking ears. Massive ears. Wow. Well. I know a lot of people with big ears that I like dearly. But don't you believe this, Joe? Let's be honest. If America, like the whole country, could look in the mirror when donald

trump was elected it's a reflection of america when he got it when he got voted it's a reflection of a percentage of us for sure no no no but egotistical it's uh again a reflection of some of some but i don't want to generalize like in terms of like say that's america i'm what i would for a joke yeah but i mean if you were if you were being serious. But I am being serious. Well, then why was there the women's march where millions of women were in the street? Well, let me tell you why. Because I think Donald Trump, here's when everybody was depressed Donald Trump was president. I go, you got to look at the positives.

If Hillary was elected, those women would have never got together to march. Donald Trump has brought more people together against him. We were marching. Americans were marching for Muslims after Donald Trump became president. The positivity that Donald Trump has created with the opposition and the togetherness. You had a million women march because Donald Trump was president. You had people marching for the muslims because donald trump was president he's brought for the first time i feel like that the side that opposes donald trump they're more together than ever and even though we say it's ripped the country

apart you know because you know there's some problems in this country but it has brought a bunch of people together and i don't think if hill was president, you wouldn't have had the women march. You wouldn't have had the march for Muslims. You wouldn't have people backing immigrants. She'd just start executing men. That's what she would do. She'd take them all to town square and start shooting them. First with Bill.

Bill would be the first one. She'd behead him on television. Well, that was the whole thing. Public execution. Yeah, just like Iran. just like our allies in iran but but don't you but don't you think does iran do public executions is it syria syria does right but don't you think like when hillary didn't stand up to build that's where she lost everybody it started way before the election because women wanted her to stand up to him back then you don't

know what she did or didn then you don't know what she did or didn't right we just know what she did publicly and publicly why would she do that it's that seems like it's crazy to do like why why you you're you're a dignified person you're gonna publicly well not trash him but you don't have to stand next to him even melania trump bounces on trump you know she's like she's nah. I think Hillary without Bill didn't exist. I think that guy was a dick-slinging buccaneer, and he made his way into the motherfucking White House, and she rode that wave.

There was a giant V12 sucking gasoline like it was going out of style, blowing a big wake behind it, and she was hanging on to that fucking wakeboard line. Jesus, Bill, where are we going? She wasn't gutting out of Arkansas. She wasn't getting in the White House. She wasn't the Secretary of State. Settle down with that nonsense.

So it's kind of like, hey, you know what you got yourself into? Is that what you're saying? Well, there's that, and there's also she's a liar. That lady is a liar. Yeah. And maybe she's a liar because she's a politician but when just you compare what was public like her knowledge of what went wrong with the email servers and all that jazz and many other instances too that just one we'll talk about and what comey said when comey was examining the evidence and what what they did wrong what she said they did wrong they're very different things very different things very different things and this is politics right if your base

hears you say something that isn't true but you say it with confidence even though the evidence doesn't support it that argument takes place and it blurs the gray area in the middle between guilt and innocent. Do you think when somebody gets elected president, they have a meeting with them? Oh, fuck yeah. And then they say, these are the things you can go after and these are the things you can't, because if you go after this, we can't protect you from it. I really believe those conversations happen in the White House.

What kind of things do you think they say they can't protect you from? Don't go after the Jews. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying there's certain organizations. Leave the Rockefellers alone. Stay away from the Rothschilds. There's certain organizations. Don't talk about the CFR.

No, I'm not saying that. Stay out of Bohemian Grove. Stay out of Bohemian Grove. I just think there's a list of corporations, big corporations that run America that they say you can't go after because a lot of presidents go in there saying, I'm going to do this against this. I'm not going to even say the corporation because I want to live. And I feel that Secret Service really calls these people in, the presidents, and go, hey, this is who you can't go after. Here's who you can't. And if you do go after those, you're kind of on your own because we won't be able to save you because they're too powerful well i believe in that there are giant corporations that have incredible influence on

politicians because they spend reach yeah and spend so much money to keep them in power and get them into power and help contribute to the campaigns and then they scratch each other's backs if a president were to go in and say i'm gonna get rid of all lobbyists that president would not make it through his term um well it's hard to say that no it's not no there's too much money joe i mean i know it's too much money but i'm saying if i'm gonna agree with you in this day and age it's hard to say that because you'd have to get everybody on board with killing a president I think they definitely did it with Kennedy 100%

I was talking to Byron Bowers No, but do you have to get everybody on board? Yes, you have to get everybody on board who knows about it Because otherwise people are going to tell If you go and kill the fucking president You have to get a lot of people on board We're probably going to get Raided by the Secret Service right now No, I'm saying if You have to get a lot of people on board. We're probably going to get raided by the Secret Service right now.

No, I'm saying if you want to kill a president, it's not like it used to be. I think it used to be less consequential. Not that it was always. I mean, like John Wilkes Booth days, right? Way easier to kill the president than it is now. Then Kennedy, way easier to kill a president in 1963 than it is to kill a president in 2019. Could you still do it? Yeah, but you're probably going to get caught.

You would probably get caught. You would have to have a tiny, small circle of fucking sociopaths and psychopaths, and they all agree to keep it hush. To me, it's just one person calling another person saying, do this, pay them off, and then you can get caught, but one person, look. But you have Secret Service, you have military protecting them. It's different. Yeah.

Because you'd have to get someone to get past all that. You know, and someone would have to make a mistake in mapping. Like, that was one of the things they said about Dealey Plaza. When they rolled Kennedy through, they're like what fucking security person would ever agree to let someone roll through with a convertible with buildings all around yeah yeah and then also you have to take that long slow turn where you know it's not you just drive by going 50 miles an hour and you gotta get your gun on and shoot them quick no the guy was driving slow it's it's ridiculous it's like you're asking for someone to get assassinated.

But I just really feel like there are rules that we'll never ever know about. But once you get in there, they're like, hey, here's what you need to know. Here's what you need to know not to go against. I would think that if anybody's going to tell us that, it's Trump. I think the best thing that could ever happen is that Trump gets out of his terms in the White House and just starts talking. It starts writing books. Tell us everything. Yeah yeah you want to be the king of the world write a fucking a huge book on exactly what it's like the day you become the president that would be insane how how do you think he's going to be treated once he gets out though they'll love him you think so

they love bush people hated bush they called bush a war criminal now he's an adorable grandpa who paints no it's true it's true it's true look man what whatever people hated obama when he was in office they're gonna love him within a few years i mean most people that were supporters of obama they love him now yeah i mean he's like a messianic figure uh-huh yeah i he's like i mean i don't know i think they're gonna i think a certain percentage of the population loves trump right now period and you know they have reasons to back it up in terms of like the economy what they think is happening with job creation all these different things that he's doing that may or may not not have devastating implications depending

on who you talk to that's an expert and i'm not one yeah me neither but there's obviously and then also people say well this is a trend that was actually going on during the obama administration he's just riding the wave maybe i'm too stupid i don't understand that stuff but i'm saying there's in terms of numbers it's not like the country is completely imploding right now i mean maybe some people by some people's metric it's not doing as well as he would like to pretend it is probably but my thing it doesn't even matter like when they say the stocks are up and all that it's it's what matters is your personal life are you in a better place because he's president like i think we get caught up but for some people they're not right some people like if you get rounded up by ice no you're not

yeah you're not no i mean that's it's horrible this is the worst time ever for perception of us in terms of like the way we handle immigrants well you know you know the the bad part about immigrants it's all bad but you know the problem is they've they've dealt with this problem what for the last 30 40 years i mean and if they make nicer facilities let's say they know they're coming so they don't have enough judges. The facilities are horrible. So let's say they make nicer facilities. Then the government thinks the whole thinking of the government is if we do that, then that's going to encourage more to come because now it's nice. Yeah, they're like, bro, you get over there.

It's nice. You get a shower. They have delicious food. Yeah. They have a taco stand. You have a fucking party over there bro Margaritas You party with the guards Once you get to know them

They're good guys And that's the thing It's like What do you do? What do you do? Like I think This is a problem That will take

Generations To fix And the only way And it is a problem There is a problem The only way it's really gonna get fixed Really Is two ways.

One, you've got to make drugs legal. And two, you've got to prop up all these countries. All these countries that are third world countries where these people are fleeing because they don't have any possibility. There's no hope for them. Wherever they are, if they're in incredibly poor countries, there's no future. They don't have the resources. They don't have anything to do. So the only way you can keep people happy on a global scale is you've got to figure out, like, the highs of the highs, right, are like wealthy people in the industrialized Western world, right? The lows of the lows are people that are living in these places that are disease-den, poverty stricken, horrible with no future.

You got, we've got to figure out a way to bring everybody to a comfortable middle all over the world so that there's no extreme poverty in any location anywhere. We want to eradicate diseases. Okay. For sure. We do. Right.

We all do. Don't we want to eradicate the problem? The dis-ease of poverty is a dis-ease it's a terrible feeling to be poor and scrounging for food in a crime-ridden environment and the only way to fix that is put attention on those areas and use money to try to raise it up they're not going to raise up on their own they never have no they never and never will yeah i just think globally if if if people ever could get their shit together, and this is what I hope, this is my, if I had like a pipe dream of technology.

Yes. That technology gets us to a place where we can read each other's minds. And I think this is possible. And I think once we can read each other's minds, we can understand that we're not that dissimilar. That we're not nearly as far apart as we think we are and that most of our problems that we have are problems of ego and problems of ideology and problems of ethics and morals and truth and lies and that reading each other's

minds will sort a lot of that out and then we're going to figure out a way to i don't want to say like for redistribution of wealth i don't think you should just give people things what i think you should do is try to figure out a way to rebuild communities and give people opportunities to live better lives and we have to do that globally i think but i i think the problem today is presented to because i listen to both sides when you travel as a comic you'll people just come up to you and tell you their views on just random things. So you hear from both sides. One side is like,

I don't want to just give out stuff for free. Why should I give them stuff? I worked hard for mine. And you got other people that go, we need to help everyone out because we are the world type of situation. They're both right. This is why it's confusing.

Yes. They're 100% both right. You don't want to give people stuff right but you don't want to give people stuff but you don't want to just you got lucky yeah you got lucky as fuck you're born in america i mean you're from texas i'm from boston dude we're we're from like the industrialized western world in the the pinnacle of civilization in terms of like opportunity there's never been a place like this we're the luckiest fucking people ever who doesn't acknowledge that you got to be crazy man i was i became friends with this lady at a restaurant and me and my wife and son would always go in there and we got really close and

she was just talking about like you know her family's from ecuador and her kids she can't afford her kids to be over here so she's sending them to school over there. And she keeps sending money over there. But it's riddled with gangs. Nothing but gangs out there. And if they find out you're in America sending money back, they'll hold your family hostage. You know what I mean? And that's real. People don't believe that.

They think, oh, that's not. It's real. This lady we've known for over eight years. And she tells these stories about like her sending the money and she has a person out there that basically, you know, lives in a little house and keeps everything secret. Because if it comes out that she's sending money to them, they'll, they'll hold that family hostage and cut the fingers off and shit.

Yeah. Like it's bad. It's bad. And we're living here, you know know we're lucky we're doing this podcast but there are people struggling and when i hear people go ah you know that's their problem nah that's that's terrible the world's you're you're an awful human being yeah your perspective sucks for sure it's terrible and it's going on all over the world and it's creating this and i feel that you know we're creating this me,

me, me situation. But I also think we need to also have conversations about it. I did a, I did a show in Kansas city and I always talk about when I do stand up, I don't talk politics. So, you know,

you do the local press and things. And there were people that come out to my shows and trumpets, like literally wearing trumpets, sat front row. And did that fuck with you? I don't know, but I don't, we did also, I don't care what they, Trump hats. Like literally wearing Trump hats. Sat front row. Did they do that to fuck with you? I don't know. But I don't.

They probably did. Also, I don't care. But they probably did. They probably did. Yeah. Because after the show, literally, and when I say Trump supporters,

like they look, I mean like the big husky guy like, hey, how you doing? Like that type of thing. And they go, we heard our wife said you weren't going to talk politics

so we want to see. You know? And then she goes, he's right said you weren't uh going to talk politics so we want to see you know and and then she goes he's right you didn't you know and oh god we wanted to see we're gonna sit up front where our trump had support our leader just in case you crack any funnies about his orange skin or his fucked up hair but i didn't i didn't because that's not my comedy but they bought all basically they bought tons of merch because I didn't do it. And they also said something that was important. And I think this is important to know when you try to make a point to somebody. When you start off yelling at them, it's never going to go well. If you can explain it to them through your eyes and not yell, have a conversation.

Because I talk a lot about growing up in an all-white neighborhood in the racist things that i encountered and i didn't yell at them and i didn't say i i hate white people i just told my point of view and they actually were open and they actually respond i understand now you know nobody's ever explained it to us like that and i think it's about conversation not because when we watch tv it's all about you suck you suck well let me tell you why you think it's about conversation, not because when we watch TV, it's all about you suck, you suck. Well, let me tell you why. You know, you got to start from a place.

Put it like this. I don't know if you heard of this green deal where they want to take 70% of anyone that makes over $10 million, 70% of their income. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. It's the dumbest thing ever. That's AOC, right? Is that her idea?

It's the dumbest thing ever. I don't mean, I? Is that her idea? It's the dumbest thing ever. I don't mean, I wasn't calling her a bitch when I said that. I like her. I was saying good luck bitch as an expression. Yes. I like her too. I like her. I don't agree with her with that, but I like her.

But what I'm saying is my friend was like, oh, you know, if the Democrats win, that's going to get passed because we hate rich people. And I go, that's the problem. We're starting at hate. The reason why you think it's going to pass because you think people hate rich people see and that's you got to have a conversation fix it here's the thing first of all you've got incompetent use of funds like where does the money go all our taxes where does the idea that if you tax the rich that all of a sudden all the problems will stop existing that is so silly you still have

incompetent people that are distributing the money. They'll just create more jobs. There'll be more red tape. And we get more and more in debt. Yeah. What we've got to do is figure out a real plan for engineering our civilization better. That's what people have to do. And there should be real discussion from like real experts biologists historians people who

really understand human psychologists people really understand human beings really understand what's wrong with our society today and we have an open discussion but you know that that never about that but that can never happen of course it can but no no right now because of the government because they here's the thing what do you mean that can It's just, we have to look at it in terms of a real priority. But no, it goes by, it goes by the, whoever party's in charge of their priorities. It's not like, my problem is. Somebody has to make it a priority for the nation. That's what I'm saying.

But that's not impossible. But until you have a person, I believe everything can be fixed. This is a simple fix. If you just elect a person that takes some republican values and some democratic values the thing is right now in politics you have to be one or the other like if i can if a person came in and go you know what i like these republican ideas i like these democratic ideas let's roll i'm gonna be down the middle and let's roll with both it's called being a centrist yeah that exists yeah but it needs to win but that can happen it can happen all of it but until that right person

but until that happens what does that mean though does it every four years we figure out what happens right and before trump won we never thought a reality show fucking guy could win but that guy won yeah and you go okay well now we know that happens. All this stuff can happen. This is not like we're not asking for alchemy. We're not trying to turn lead into gold. We're trying to figure out a way. But you're going against a system that is. You are.

There's a new system. The new system is the system of public opinion, which is readily accessible. Absolutely. And that's never happened before. There's never been a time where everyone had a say in one way, shape, or form, whether it's through commenting, through Instagram or Twitter or to do is someone's got to put forth an educated plan like a plan that's based on science and reason and a plan that you can debate against opposers of that plan but when you have people that don't believe in science a lot of how do you how do you slowly but surely you got to educate people it's going to take generations this is what I'm saying It's like the momentum of our stubbornness

And our past And the sort of the systems that we find ourselves stuck in Systems of behavior and thinking And culture All that stuff is gonna take a long time Before we sort the wheat from the chaff We gotta figure out what's good and what's bad And we're doing it

But we're doing it actively And it's frustrating because you're like god damn it this is the worst time we still have all these problems we still have cops shooting people we still have crime we still have wall street theft we still have all this stuff yeah but you know what i like but you know what i like is we know about it now yeah where it's not hidden like 20 years ago like you heard in let's go 30 years ago you heard nwa make that song f the police yeah and they're talking about the same things that are happening today except you would hear the song and go oh that's a great song that's about rodney king yeah rodney king you watched him get the fuck beat out

of him yeah on tv and here's the thing about the rodney king thing that guy apparently was a like he'd done a bunch of crazy shit right he'd gotten a uh car chase with the cops he beat the fuck out of somebody before that there was a lot going on you just got to see the end of it while this guy is was he on what was he on i don't i don't know if he was he on a drug and i think he was on pcp pcp apparently makes you look super human strong i had a buddy of mine who got his finger bitten off while he's on pcp so he didn't even know you're bitten off by who a street fight yeah it's like he didn't even realize his fit because he was he was on pcp he didn't realize somebody bit his finger off then he went to yeah he had uh he had uh his toe removed and his toe uh put uh onto his finger

where his finger used to be was it a thumb thumb? No, it was his pinky finger, his trigger finger. So on one of his, and he had it curved so he could always throw right hooks. So when you would shake his hand, he would give you like this weird handshake where he would shake your hand, but there was always one finger that wouldn't straighten out. He kind of tickled the middle. It didn't move good. Yeah. Because it was really his toe that they replaced his uh finger with a toe that must have looked weird

it was weird it was real weird yeah but that's pcp son living that pcp life fucking crazy people in boston man he was a boxing coach oh yeah i don't know man it's just we need to get to a better place yeah we're getting to a better place. But I think it's a long, slow process. I mean, there's people that say, hey, to minimize the suffering that people feel right now is unjust. And for you to say that is outrageous. And it's just a hallmark of your delusional perspective. That's not true.

This is not denying the awful things of the world the awful things of the world exist but if you tried to look at this as a mathematical equation if you looked above you would say well there's a lot of problems here there's a lot of competing factors there's environmental factors like what are they doing to the world what are they doing to the ocean what are they doing to the air oh jesus everything's warming up and people are fighting over what's causing it like they're not even paying attention this is madness but look how much knowledge there is look how much discussion there is movements are moving and growing and people are even when they're misinformed it's still there's activity there's all this stuff going on even when you know someone says hey

we're going to tax everybody that makes more than 10 million dollars 70 percent like bitch you ain't taxing shit stop just stop stop stop stop stop just because someone works really hard you can't take all of it look stop people from stealing money stop people from but if you if people say well we want equality of outcome okay as soon as we get equality of effort talk to me yes as soon as we get because some people don't hustle they just don't and i don't know why maybe it's the way they were raised maybe they have poor nutrition maybe they have hookworm i don't know what the fuck it is but don't say that everybody's supposed to hit the right spot and everyone's

going to get to this spot and then after that spot we're going to divvy up all the money so nobody ever makes more than a hundred thousand dollars a year and the world's a better place bitch that doesn't make the world a better place that makes lazy people happy yeah that some fucking juggernaut like mark cuban or one of these billionaire characters is like hustling constantly and gathering up massive resources yeah he's playing the game of monopoly but he's playing it 24 hours a day seven days a week that's his option he can do that you can't stop people from doing that what you can stop them is from doing unjust things with that money and wait maybe you can do is like help someone like lean towards like a bill gates type situation where he does so much good and so much charitable work and helps out so many people that you go oh well maybe

it's not a bad thing for a guy like that to have all that money because you don't have to think of him as just mr money bags like maybe you think of him as he does have access to all this money, but he's also this incredible resource for hope and change and prosperity for some folks. I think people wouldn't mind giving money to something that they see being built. If there's work into it. People hate the idea of just giving money and not seeing something from it sure you know but when you're building giving it to people that don't know what the fuck to do with it and they're just going to find a use for it because that's what bureaucracy is yeah i don't

know man i don't know i don't know joe we just i don't know either but i do know that it's fashionable to say it sucks it's fashionable to say everything sucks well it's it's fashionable to say it sucks. It's fashionable to say everything sucks. Well, it's easy to say that. But like you said, but I really think it starts with if the government is not on the same page and they're always fighting, you can't move forward. All this great stuff you're saying can't move forward because it starts from the top, Joe. That's true. It starts from the top, Joe. That's true. It starts from the top. What's interesting is one of the things that's cool about the government fighting is you get to see that even the president can't do the things that he wants. Yes.

He has to consult with people, and they have to agree on something. And it has to be reasonable, and they have to present it to the American people. And so the people have to represent their constituents. And so you're seeing this really fascinating thing because you've never had a guy like Trump in office before. So you see him say he's going to do things, and then you see the rest of the government going, the fuck you are? Yeah. The fuck you are? And then you watch this stalemate.

You watch this go down and you watch these people being forced to negotiate in the way Trump is forced to talk about Nancy Pelosi because she has so much power. You know he wants to call her a cunt. Oh, yeah. He wants to call her an old witch. Like, get the fuck out of here. But he has to pay the respect because he knows now. She golf claps right in his face. She's like, gives him this.

Man, it's so fun to watch right now. It is a fun time, man. And with social media being so big, how do you deal with people like the haters? Because there's so many people. I call them thumb thugs. But how do you deal? They're hating in the dark.

I don't know what they're doing. You don't read all those comments, do you? I don't read shit anymore, man. Very, very rarely go into mentions. If I do, it's usually a mistake. I just do my best. I do my best. I post and I go.

I post and ghost. You don't even look at people's feeds do you no i look at some people's feeds on instagram when i'm bored yeah you know i'll read some things you know i look at some cool pictures i watch some inspirational shit i like going to the rocks seeing them lifting weights man pumped up i want to go to the gym let me tell the rock is amazing let me tell you i d fletcher i interviewed the rock the first time i met him was like 11 years ago during The Game Plan. And we just hit it off, right?

Game playing? The Game Plan. That's where he played a quarterback. He was a lot thinner. It was his first breakout movie. Oh, okay. He did Scorpion and then The Game Plan. And after that interview, he took some time and just talked to me.

He wasn't The Rock then. And then over the years, every time i interviewed him he would pull me aside and go are you going to my acting coach are you doing this are you doing that is there anything i can help you with and i'm like what like and then he got bigger and bigger and the last time i saw him same thing yo are you doing are you going to the acting coach are you working on your goals are you improving like literally his instagram but in real life and i'm and it's and he'll never know this but it's a thing that's, for me, just average schmo, Michael Yeo, to take the time out every time I interview him

to ask me if I'm achieving my goals, if I'm moving forward in life, giving me positive things, positive thoughts, to take that time like five minutes after every interview. And this dude is booked nonstop. But to actually take time and it's just so inspirational and to see him be the biggest movie star in the world and he knows everybody's name he's very respected i don't know if he has an earpiece but like it's like he's like the president when he was he knows everybody's name he could be president

he could oh 100 100 100 he could be president he could vote 100%. 100%. 100% he could be president. 100%. I would vote for him. I would too. Because he's just a hard worker. He also comes from humble beginnings. Yes. I mean, he's in Hawaii right now, and he's filming on his Instagram. He's talking about all the neighborhoods that he goes back to to check to see where he was from when he was poor and starving.

Yeah. I mean, he really is from humble beginnings. I mean, he had only like, you know, it's the story of like $5 left in his account. And then he got discovered in wrestling. And I knew him in Miami when he was doing WWE. I interviewed him a couple times over there. And he played for the University of Miami, my favorite college football team. So it's a thing where, you know, the history of 11 years.

But for him, that big, to take time to motivate me separately and you know i know if he sees me out he knows my name but it's not like i'm texting i'm not like kevin hart with him and just to be a random dude that he takes time out every time he sees me to make sure i'm hitting my goals and moving forward with my career and not back and then offering hey if you ever need anything get in touch with me you know i would never take him up on that. But it's a thing where I'm nobody. He's the rock. And to be that inspiration, I mean, it just does so much, man.

Little things that big celebrities do or somebody that really inspires you, they don't know how much that means. Just that little time he spends, it means so much. Yeah, I think he knows he knows i think he does know i think he's a genuine leader he is you know that's 100 i think that's why so many people like him because what he says is it's authentic like it's really who he is there is nothing fake about that man you don't have to be fake you just have to be successful and if you want to work as hard as that guy you could be successful i i i asked one day i was like do you just take a bunch of pictures at the gym like and just post throughout the day because you don't get that big from taking pictures i know man that guy's picking heavy

shit up that's too big but you know what i left that's just too big joe it's not too big for him no but he's an action star dude and he's the first action star That looks like an action Like I would want him To save my life In real life Wow What is he like six Seven or something like that How tall is he

He's giant He's a little bit taller than me I'm six three He's giant Yeah He's giant He's built like a fucking Like a legitimate superhero

Like Will Smith was my guy But I left Will Smith for The Rock Damn, you left him No, no, no You left Will No, I didn't Wow No, but like You gotta do what Will? No, I didn't. Wow. No, but like.

You got to do what you got to do, bro. A burning building. A burning building. Who's going to save you? Who's going to save you? Will Smith might save you, too. Aliens coming at you. Independence Day.

Did you not see Will Smith? Save the world, you motherfucker. I dug my. Look, I love Will Smith. Jesus Christ, bro. An earthquake. An earthquake. I love Will Smith but an earthquake an earthquake well if you want someone to hold

one hand on the top of a building thank you and then hold your wrist with another and know that he's got you according to the movie poster that's The Rock

see I never saw Will Smith holding the top of a building Will Smith can shoot a gun by the hand Will Smith can shoot a gun he fucked up those zombies

he did in I Am Legend. Oh, man. What a great movie. That was a great fucking movie. Oh, my goodness. It was a great fucking movie. God.

Yeah, but Will Smith and The Rock need to make a movie together. They never have? Is that right? No. That doesn't make sense. That would be amazing. That would be the biggest movie in the history of the known universe. History.

And they both- Who else? Tom Cruise. Get them all together. Tom Cruise, Will Smith, and The Rock. Have you ever interviewed Tom Cruise? No, but only with my brain when I'm in my sensory deprivation tank. He reaches out to me.

Does he really? He makes a mind meld. He puts on his Scientology earbuds. And he astral travels. Can I tell you it's amazing to interview Tom Cruise? What's amazing about it? It's because you hear so many different stories. Do you wake up with your pants off? No, I no not not not that time where am I he sympathized me

but he doesn't break eye contact with you that's what I like no he just like game hey what's up yeah yeah and what he'll do is I get nervous no I'm not no no no no no that's what he's doing he's nervous well or he's just wants you to know he's locked in. Right. Like, he will not break eye contact. Like, if you look over here, he'll be like. Probably makes it harder for you to ask fucked up questions, too. No, what he does, and I tell all my friends.

What he does, I tell all my friends, when you interview Tom Cruise, he will ask him a question. He'll try to make it three minutes long. So, you can't ask him that many. So, you got to learn. You got to build a relationship with him. So, then you can ask him a bunch. See, I make it three minutes long so he doesn't have you can't ask him that many so you got to learn you got to build a relationship with him so then you can ask him a bunch see i've interviewed him so many times i'll walk i remember one time i walked in the room i was like hey tom i got five minutes so we're gonna have to answer these questions so i got to that point but he he's a great nice guy did you ever get to scientology no never is that part of the deal you can't ask him about that Well, I heard a part of Scientology is for you to walk out the room saying how great

they are. And I just did it. Oh, that makes sense. I just did it. Right. Yeah. So maybe, yeah. It did.

It just worked. Well, that's just a philosophy on like how to influence people, right? Yeah. How to positively influence people. You want those people really thinking the best of you. Well. Good strategy. Well, everybody was like, oh, he's crazy.

Is this, is that? Every time I interview, he's great. I love Tom Cruise. Some of my favorite people are crazy. Yeah? Yeah. Tell me someone's crazy that doesn't shake me. I'm not like, okay, well, I'm not going to talk to them.

They're crazy. My favorite people are all crazy. Yeah. Like literally crazy. My favorite people. so if someone tells me that someone's crazy i'm like okay what else you got it's crazy not scary to me like will smith is awesome he's gotta be crazy will smith sure no no something's going on too nice too nice too smart no get out of here get out of here no is he a scient. No. Is he a Scientologist? I have no idea. Might be. The problem is when I, the problem I, the problem I had, dude, the problem I had with

being an entertainment reporter, I mean, they give you questions to ask and you have to ask them or literally it could be your job. So they float out like a bunch of real dumb ones. Did they give you any room to like? Oh yeah. You could do whatever you want, but they'll be like, Hey, you got to ask this question. And it's like, if somebody just got divorced, you got divorced you gotta be like hey what happened to divorce damn oh and it sucks you gotta ask women that yeah that's why i stopped doing it man i couldn't

one time uh what's her name uh anna god what's her name uh shoot she was in devil's wear prada not uh meryl streep but and anne hathaway so they gave me the dumbest question as anne hathaway kim kardashian kanye west were on the cover of vogue and right before that it was anne hathaway and so they told me they go hey why don't you ask her what she thinks about the cover because everybody was like oh this is bullcrap that kim kardashian i asked ann hathaway that question and she goes well you know i don't run the magazine so it really doesn't matter to me i'm like fine so i finished the question i'm walking down the stairs and go then i hear she goes why the fuck would he ask me that question i don't give a shit who's on that magazine and i was about to turn back around because i kind of got mad but then i was

like man she's fucking right that was a dumb ass question maybe you could say i'm sorry they made me ask you that question no it was too late man it was too late yeah that's a part i just feel so stupid some producers like winding you up like a little robot click click click get out there ask the questions i ask you don't ask yeah oh they get so mad oh yeah yeah they threaten your job with it well that's why those shows are always so canned. You know, when you have people talking to entertainers and everything, it's so canned. It just seems so inauthentic. Like, they wanted me to ask.

My first interview ever was with Jennifer Aniston at Marley and Me. And this is right after she broke up with Brad Pitt. They wanted you to ask about Brad Pitt? They wanted me to ask about Brad Pitt. And I was like, no, I can't do that. Did you tell them no? No, it was my first gig. So you had to?

No, I didn't. So I said, what if I figure out a different way to ask? So they were like, whatever you get, we need a clip. And this was when I was at E! Entertainment. And this was my first big shoot ever. Jennifer Aniston. And they were like, you're going to go out there. So it was Marley and me. So she just broke up with Brad Pitt. was when i was at e entertainment and this is my first big shoot ever jennifer aniston and they were like you're gonna go out there so it was marley and me so she just broke up with brad pitt so i go uh since the movie's about a dog i go what's the uh what's the um what's the uh similarities

between a dog and a man and she laughs and gives a great answer about you know one will be around but a dog is always forever you know like men can treat you wrong so i got a great answer from it and i didn't have to ask about brad pitt and that's the thing is if you find a smart way to ask it you can ask it but they just sometimes want you to be just so brutal it's it's i can't well it's because they don't have to do it and they don't keep the relationships they don't care about the relationship exactly and they just don't they don't even care about you you're a little trained person that they send out a little monkey hey person little person listen to me little person you have to listen the the person who signs the paper yeah it's to send

you off and give you a little fucking direction oh it's the grossest i mean it was amazing because i got to build relationships with people but like good for you for recognizing it oh 100 i knew they were doing so once you i mean not even that but like recognize you got to get out of that oh 100 it's i i my soul couldn't do i couldn't i couldn't ask people about them breaking up or something tragic happening in their lives like how are you doing now it's like running to some of them tmz dudes that feel bad i'm like look bro i feel bad too but i'm not talking to you like yeah there's nothing good ever comes out of these like there's no disrespect to you i know you're doing a job i'd

probably do the same job if i was in your place i probably if i was a kid when i was a kid if tmz was around i'd take that job yeah what going to do? Just try to ask some famous dude a funny question? But it's just like, it's not the way to discuss things. No. It's not the way to discuss things when you're coming out of the airport or you're on your way to a fucking restaurant somewhere and someone sticks a camera in your face. Like, come on. Well, I wasn't doing that. We were going to junkets.

No, no. We're talking about TMZ. TMZ. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah like but i mean there's these these junkets are a brutal assault on reality oh yeah you're saying the same thing over and over and over again you're asking the same everyone asks you the same question you know tell so tell us about this show yeah michael you play uh you play michael yo which is your real name. This is crazy.

Oh, by the way, write this down. Okay. Michael Yo Average Schmo. That's your first comedy special. You're going to call it Michael Yo Average Schmo. Michael Yo Average Schmo. Because that's what you said when you're talking about The Rock. Yeah.

It's like, you're like, it's me, Michael Yo Average Schmo. So that would be a funny- It would be my second one. Oh, that's right. You already have one. I just came out with it, yeah. And when did it come out? On Amazon Prime. It's free. It came out two and a half weeks ago oh it's called blazion blazion because i'm black and asian i get it yeah tiger would say something like that no he said he's cub blazion went on oprah and told her told her she wasn't he wasn't

black and black people got so blue that's a tough one to swallow. Well, I tell you what's tougher is I was up for a job and a very prominent black producer told me I wasn't black enough for the job. Hold on. There's tanning booths close by. I'll be back in four days

and I'll rock your fucking world. Because, dude, if you go to a tanning booth every day i could not get black you can get dark but i wouldn't get black i can get dark you could get dark but not black you can get black well what do they want what they wanted black like wesley snipes like yes no disrespect no disrespect but i i guess they said but i think it was more than just skin color. Well, they wanted a certain, there was a certain role.

Yeah. They wanted a, like, I don't, like when you see me, you don't think, oh, straight up black dude. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. You know, so I.

They wanted something for, I mean, that's the thing, man. Look, if you're making a story and you want these characters in the story, like say if you have some big fucking goon who terrorizes people, you can't get Kevin Hart to play that role. No. It doesn't make any sense. No. That's where The Rock comes in. Right?

He's a big giant dude. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I love him. Everybody has to have, you know. That's the weird thing about acting, too. It's like, man, you got to hope somebody has something that you would do good in. You know? Like, you always hope that someone's got a project that you could slot into that project yeah or you just got to create your own yeah that's true too i mean the best is

billy bob thornton that sling blade thing yeah you know what he did with there no he apparently he was like working on some movie like he had some bullshit part in some movie and uh he was like super depressed and started doing this fucking character you know he does that character from sling and then would do it in the mirror and shit and practice it and decided to make a whole fucking movie about it and that movie launched him like it was his own idea well i mean it's kind of like what you're doing you just decided to do your own thing and now you control your own destiny that's where we all need to get to like honestly this you know i what i love about comedy right now is i like joe coy was my mentors and he's blown up in comedy you know so i see

people like you joe and you know uh bill burr and just theo von who took me out my very first time doing comedy ever did it really yeah in madison wisconsin you know at uh i think it's called state on six or six on state that's the first time you ever got paid that's the first time i ever got paid and he's the first person to ever take me out and i remember we land and he goes you're not you're gonna see grown men eating cheese like well like sharing bags of cheese in wisconsin and as soon as we got off the plane literally two men on a bench sharing a bag of cheese and he was like i told you like it was very weird so but it is weird the culture of cheese in wisconsin anyway yeah so you're they're making now now theo's blown up like you're making your

own path and i think with comedy now is the time where people can make their own path and control their own destiny and get paid really well. I mean, just go to a comedy store and look at the parking lot now of comics. Well, what it is now is you're not dependent upon networks anymore. The networks that we've created or what I like to refer to as an organic network. Like there's a network of friends. friends like when you're talking about bill burr or tom sagur ori shafir whoever these people are chris dilly all these like really successful popular comedians right now theo and so and so and so andrew santino these guys are all we're all friends with each other yeah and everyone knows

like if someone says this guy's funny you're like well listen to the guys who are telling you these guys are all hilarious they know who the funny people are they know who the pretenders are too yeah they don't talk about them and they avoid them uh-huh and then you know who the funny people are and you just it's an organic network like there's no paperwork but everybody helps everybody and one of the beautiful things about it is no one's fighting for scraps anymore it's not like there's tv shows and there's only like if you and me are in the audition room and we're friends, but we're both auditioning for the same role, like, I don't really wish you very well. I hope, I might fuck with you.

I'm like, dude, you sweating? What are you doing? You look nervous. You okay? It's an easy gig, right? You're not nervous about that, right? You're going to go in there and perform. So you're not eating each other.

Yeah, you're not eating each other. You're not scratching and clawing for scraps. Everybody can support each other because first of all, there's fucking thousands of places to perform just in this country. Thousands. And there's only a certain amount of comedians. There's plenty of room for everybody. Well, what I love about all you guys doing the podcast and blowing up, it's Jason Segel. I used to interview him a lot when he was making movies

and stuff and he said the thing about judd apatow is after freaks and geeks judd basically made his own network you know james franco and those guys and they supported each other no matter what and i see that same thing happening now and it's good with comedians like comedians are pairing up and saying this is our group and if you're funny you're funny and let's let's watch each other's back instead of competing it's now like for you know i've only been in it nine years you know i know you've been in a lot longer but my nine years i saw at the beginning a lot of hate and now i'm seeing people like now jump on each other's podcast and actually encourage each other and push each other which I think is a great shift for comedy right now. Well, that's the big difference between podcasts and radio, because radio guys always hated

other radio guys. Yeah. They always thought of other radio guys like, I want that morning spot, and this guy's going to try to steal it from me, and he's across town, fuck him. Yeah. Podcasts don't do that. We get on each other's podcasts, and we support each other's podcasts. It's like, there's plenty of people, there's this famine mentalities would fuck everybody up

it is but that's what hollywood puts out there you know it's just the circumstances it's not like it's an organized effort no it's not there this famine mentality it's just that this there was a like we were talking about earlier like if you're an actor you you gotta hope somebody's got something that you fit into yeah so all the other dudes that are like you, man, you're competing against them. And then, you know,

you hear fucking some James Franco type dude got the role. You're like, of course he's famous. Fuck. I can't, I'm never going to catch a break. And this is the, this is the feeling that a lot of like really depressed actors have.

Well, it's interesting because I was up for this huge hosting gig like last year and look like I was going to get it. And then the night before, they said, oh, we gave it to this bigger guy. Like he was a celebrity. You don't want to say his name? No, I won't say his name. Tell me.

No, no, no, no. Spell it out. Nope. Just write it down. No. Make it rhyme. No. No, no, no, no.

No? You know me, Joe. I'm very safe. I'm very safe, Joe. I'm still trying to make it like you. And then my agent goes you don't sound upset I was like no

because the way I'm wired is I need to get to that level where I'm getting jobs I don't deserve you know what I mean so you're saying he doesn't deserve it I see why you wouldn't say his name so you're playing it safe

but you're not because he knows who he is and he's out there listening but when they say you're better than you're better in the audition than him, you did this better. That's what they said about you? No, no, no. That's what they're telling me. But your agents are telling you.

No, no, no, no, no, no. The casting people are telling me this. Are they trying to fuck you? No. No. Are you sure? I'm positive. I'm positive.

So when I get to that point, I reverse it. I'm positive so when I get to that point I'm just like I reversed it I was like dude when you get to a certain level you get shit you don't necessarily

he probably didn't even know he was going out for the show they were like hey we got a new contract and we heard you could do it you know what I mean yeah maybe but that's this industry

once you get to a certain point you get gigs you start getting things once your podcast blew up you get people send you stuff. And that's how this whole thing works. And so my mentality is I need to get to that point where people start giving me things.

And that means working harder. Okay, great. Working harder. Building my brand. Doing stand-up. I'll do that. Don't ever say building your brand. Don't say that ever again.

Building my brand? Don't do it. Okay. That's some nonsense talk that they throw around. Brand? You're building your brand don't do it okay don't okay that's some nonsense talk that they throw around brand you're building your brand man hey dude i really love what you're doing with your brand that's like a hollywood thing that they said yeah yeah yeah i love what you're doing with your brand ew the fuck you don't think a brand is real well brands are real like uh i'm wearing converse sneakers those are real but see to me when i hear actually i'm wearing under armor yeah i lied the rock you're always supporting

his campaigns my buddy campaign sent me these look at that i wear them they're nice wait a minute i like them no no no no but but like what i your pocket and brand but your your podcast is a brand i don't think of it that way really well but it is joe rogan experience is a brand but building my brand like literally there's zero thought of that okay gotcha you know you're just doing you i just just do what i want to do hey man just be yourself you can just be yourself it's possible like i am absolutely just doing that you know i'm just really lucky that there's a slot, right? That I have interests that are... The fact that I do stand-up comedy

and I also do cage-fighting commentary. Yeah. That's not supposed to exist, right? But you created it. But it exists because there's a slot. I got lucky that there was a slot there. This exists. This sport exists.

Then I have an understanding of it and a deep appreciation for it. And then the comedy exists and i have an understanding of it and a deep appreciation for it and then the comedy exists too and i like that too like you don't have to do comedy nobody has to do comedy but for me it's like oh like you could do that but isn't it amazing like when like what i'll be honest with you when i came on the show i was like oh my god this is such a big show it's a huge show people get nervous I talked to a lot of people that come on the first time. People get nervous coming to the show. That's why we got all that booze over there.

Yeah. But what's amazing is, do you ever think about like, if somebody's on your show, literally, whatever they're selling, or like, you'll get somebody on this show that becomes a regular, and now they're selling out all across the country. And that's pretty amazing, the power that you hold. You know what I mean? Which is great. Which is great. the country and that's pretty amazing the power of that you hold you know what i mean which is great which is great which blows me away that you know like the last time i saw that uh i remember

you know i was at chelsea lately at the beginning of it and when that show was at its peak i say chelsea lately chelsea handler was the american idol of comedy at that time if you were on that show i didn't even do stand-. Like literally I was three months in. I would bring five comedians and do like 15 minutes in between everybody and bring and sell out shows because I was on that. That's how much power like she brought comedians that were retired back. She brought in. That was the first time I saw like one show could be so powerful in a niche audience where if you love comedy you're gonna sell out all these people's shows while it's hot and now it seems like this show

is that like comedians come on here and they're just selling out all over the place and that's that's a tribute to you man and your audience how they're so passionate about you and i'm not here to kiss your ass but well it's just not not bullshitting people and not having people on that suck yeah like doing your bet like i try to go after like to get guys on i like guys that i don't know yeah i hear about them you know like andrew schultz or tim dillon i hear about these guys from new york and people tell me hey you gotta see this guy this guy's fucking funny joe list a lot of people told me get these guys on and. And, you know, look, I'm a, whatever I can do to support comedy, I'm a fan. I'm a fan of comedy. I love it.

Even if I was never doing it, even if I decided right now I don't ever want to tell jokes on stage ever again, I will always watch. I love it. I love stand-up. I'll always love stand-up. So if I can do something that helps stand-up and helps comedians be successful and helps encourage more people to try it, because I think there's thousands and thousands of just unexplored stand-ups across the country that just never take a chance, never do it, never have anybody encourage them, never think about doing it. Have you ever been on stage? I think it's a superpower. I really do, because your senses are so high i've never been in a situation where when you're on stage you're saying your act you're

thinking about something else you're hearing conversations like like you're hearing a waitress take an order and you're noticing what people are doing like it's almost like an out-of-body experience like i in i can't think of any other normal time throughout the day that would ever happen where it's pretty amazing what your mind can do when you're on stage. But you have to train it. Oh, yeah. That's one of the reasons why I have to do so much stand-up. Yeah. Even for me, after 30 years of doing it, I still have to do stand-up four days a week.

I do stand-up four days a week. Oh, yeah. If I don't do stand-up four days a week, or if stand-up four days a week. Oh, yeah. If I don't do stand-up four days a week, or if I take a week off, that's fine. Nothing wrong with a week. I'll take a month off. Nothing wrong with that. But understand that when it's time to roll again,

we're going four days a week. We're going to do two, three shows a night. You're going to go Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or you're going to do Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's what you're doing, and that's the only way to do it. Because if you don't do it that way and you don't do three sets a night, two sets a night, four sets a night, if you don't do that, you never stay. You got to get laser beam sharp.

And the only way to get that honed fucking samurai sword edge, you got to constantly be doing it. It's that thing that you're doing where you're talking about hearing all these things, but concentrating on what you're saying and being in the moment which is the most critical because they know when you're not in the moment yeah they somehow another know when you're you could say the same words with the same inflection and it won't work oh that's what's amazing about it though that's what i love about it like i love how you could do two sets in a night and get a totally different reaction it's so exciting

i was talking to darnell rollins he was like he was talking about one night he had a great set and the next one he didn't have too good of a set he says i went to a grocery store and got on the mic just to get a laugh you know i just needed to he's like i need to get on the mic i needed to get one laugh because you can't go to bed on a bad show donnell is amazing on podcasts i try to talk him into doing a podcast oh he would be so good he's starting it he's already got a logo he's got it he calls it too soon with donnell ross because half his shit he's too soon he's too soon dude he is so funny man he's so funny he's such a good dude too just like a good dude.

You know who's a person that, I know you're so established now and you got your crowd, but who's a person that after they go on, you're like, oh, shit, I got to bring it. Is that still that for you? Because your crowd is so- I think about it with everybody, but I don't think about it in terms of like, oh, shit, I like comedy. This is the key to following people yeah like comedy enjoy it go on stage happy like you're laughing and then do your

stuff because it's you're working on it anyway it's good right if you if you take enough time and enough effort enough care on your craft and put together an act that's good the people are going to enjoy it so don't worry yeah enjoy like if you like i that's why i brought joey diaz on the road with me for so many years because i knew that he was just going to erupt that place and by the way but when i went on stage they were already already in a great mood they're all laughing they're laughing hard that's the keys just everybody should have a good time man everybody including your opening act in the middle act you want murderers to go on in front absolutely i you know like the comics i bring aren't as well known yet but leo flowers nick gare orlando laba but i tell you any room they crush they crush in there's only

one way for great comics to get great it's like playing on a good see them they got to see them absolutely there's a lot of guys out there that people just haven't seen but they're good and i and i love coming in after energy what about what about the first time you went after a big comic when you were first starting and you did well and it kind of blew you away i don't even know when that happened i ate shit for so many years that's all i remember yeah i remember eating shit after everyone good i didn't have one good set for like mitzi used to set me up too she would do it on purpose um she would put you like when i was four spot in my 20s i was um young little cutie face and i would go on after fucking murderers yeah like martin lawrence when he was in his prime oh my god dude

when he was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage leather Yes, and leather shirts. Merc in the room. I mean, merc in the room, where people are falling out of chairs and throwing drinks at each other. They couldn't even handle it. Martin Lawrence was an assassin. It's like church. It was like church. He was an assassin, man. I'm telling you, people forgot how good he was for a few years.

There was a few years where Martin Lawrence was nuking crowds. Just like, boom. Yeah. Whoosh. And I would get on after him and literally people would just three quarters of the audience would get up and walk when he was off they were done they were done they were ready to go home they were they were they were crying they were holding their body like oh jesus and then i would get on say some nonsense and be like let's get the fuck out of here let's go eat and they would just leave and that was um the reality

of my time at the comedy store. She wanted you to know you ain't shit. Don't get crazy. And you got to figure out how the fuck can you go on after all these murderers? Well, when did you figure it out? It took a long time. Yeah. I don't know.

When I came here, I was only six years into comedy. So I didn't have any seasoning. I was really like a scrub. I had some material. I could do an hour on the road but it was half it was bullshit yeah you know i was trying to figure it out but i had a few good bits but they weren't good enough and i didn't have the confidence to go on after a martin lawrence or a dice clay or anybody who was really good you know anybody who was really famous i would get nervous like jesus you know but that's that but through that i figured out a way to do it you know i figured out a way like okay i have to figure out a way to grab people

and let them know that i know the situation yep like oh this unknown fucking loser has to follow martin lawrence what a thrill what a thrill for me watching everybody get up and so i developed material for like bombing like like inevitable bombing and recognizing the bombing and addressing it with all the rest of the audience. And then people started laughing. I had to follow Pryor for five weeks in a row when he was – At the Comedy Store? At the Comedy Store. Oh, my God.

When he was really sick. the late great Marilyn Martinez, her husband, and Chewy, who was the door guy at the comic store, used to help Richard Pryor to the stage and it would take forever

because they would walk him because, you know, he was losing control of his body and they sat him down and they would crank the microphone up to like as loud as it goes so it was like, he would hear the feedback

and he would drink, which he probably wasn't supposed to be doing because he was on medication, just drinking and just talking. And a lot of it was really sad because you realize, like, wow, this is the greatest comic of our time. I mean, he's on the wall here in the studio. I mean, if he's not the greatest ever, he's certainly in the conversation. It's like, who's the greatest?

I don't know. But there's a handful of, like, super important pioneers. There's Lenny who's the greatest? I don't know. But there's a handful of super important pioneers. There's Lenny Bruce and there's Richard Pryor. Those are the two top, in my opinion. Those are the ones that are the most important for the art form. There's obviously George Carlin and Kennison. Go down the line. And Eddie Murphy, who we were talking about before the show, too.

Still, to this day, I think was one of the all-time greats. I was telling you before, I got a chance to talk to Eddiedie like two years ago he came out with a serious movie more dramatic i forgot i forgot the name of it but it was really good and i asked him you know being a comment i was like why haven't you shot another special and he goes i have to put too much of my personal life in it and i'm not ready to do that yet and it kind of where, you know, if you go back and listen to his comedy, he talked about his real life. He talked about his parents. He did a lot of what Richard Pryor did.

You know, he's very personal. And you got to remember, Eddie Mervin, a lot's gone on in his life over the last 15, 20 years. And I think if he didn't address things when he hit the stage, people go, why didn't he talk about that? Where Chris Rock and kevin hart they will address whatever stories out about them and go full steam ahead and i think eddie murphy

probably respects the craft too much where he's like i can't do it halfway if i if i'm not going to do 100 i'm not going to do it that's what i took from that conversation from him that makes sense and also just think about it he has two of the best specials probably ever made back like the two biggest where everybody still knows goody google like people still can say now that's a fire you know like people still quote those two yeah look he's a he's an all-time great even if he never does a joke again but he still got it that's what's crazy 100 he got did you ever see that thing that he did where he was roasting uh bill cosby when he took away his honorary degree yes dude his timing was sharp like you were like oh my god he could go do stand up right now but the pressure of that because he has two specials it's kind of like i compared to dr dre after dr dre made the crowning day i would

say oh he's gonna come out with another one and then it got to a point where how do you back up i mean the greatness of those two specials i mean it's a lot to live up to not saying he ever couldn't but people are always gonna say man you remember delirious and raw i wish he was like that you know and i think that's the fear i mean maybe i mean you can make that argument about a lot of guys that did keep going you know you can make that argument a lot of guys but those guys that kept going have a delirious. You know? You can make that argument about a lot of guys. But did those guys that kept going have a delirious raw? You know, like two that were that.

Like, I remember the first time going to a movie theater to see a stand-up comedy special. Two times. Delirious and raw. Like, who does that? Kevin Hart does it, but like, that was my first,

oh my God, Eddie Murphy on the big screen and those are locked in the history of time people are going to know those two stand-up specials for raw for sure delirious i think was on hbo wasn't it i don't remember was raw i i think delirious was on hbo i think it was an hbo special all i remember and i think raw was in the movie raw okay so raw was in the movies but it's a kid like me going to the movies to see it, and he was so big at the time. And just to follow those up.

That might have been part of the problem with him, too. He might have got too big. That happens to certain comedians. Like, that happened to Steve Martin. Yeah. You know, Steve Martin talked about that. Uh-huh. I mean, I don't think either one of us is ever going to understand how famous Eddie

Murphy is. Like, what it's like to be Eddie Murphy. At that time? No. I mean, come on. But even now, man. Yeah. People see him and they get weirded out.

I got weirded out when I met him. They put it in theaters four years after it aired on HBO. Delirious? Yeah. So it was an HBO special. Yeah, I did see it in theaters. Yeah. Dice Clay had an HBO or a movie theater film.

He did a- I'm sorry. I misread that. Oh, did it? Dice clay had a movie theater one uh gabriel glaces has done one that's been in the movies of course kevin hart has um there's been a few guys have done them in the movies but yeah but i remember like you know kevin harts was great everybody but i for some reason maybe because i was a kid i was it was so big to me but to me it was like an event yeah you know i'm older now i'll go to see kevin hart in a movie theater but when i was a kid stand-up was an event i want to like like that yeah because you're

you're hearing curse words and you know you're hearing all these you're to this day still reciting stuff from and that's a lot of comedy specials. You don't know the words 30 years later. Yeah. Well, the first special I ever saw for sure was Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip. I saw it. My parents took me to see it. You were there? Yeah.

No, no, no. No, no. Watching it in the movie theater. Oh, okay, okay. No, I was watching it in the movie theater. My parents took me. And I couldn't believe it. Like, I had never seen anything that funny.

I couldn't imagine it. It's so hard today for anyone to understand what it was like to hear that stuff back in, what was it, 79 or some shit? When was Live on the Sunset's trip? Dude, that bear joke. How about the fire? Fire is inspirational. I mean, go home. Dude, he was doing jokes about burning himself, and we were crying laughing.

Same year as Delirious. What year is it? Released in 83. Was it really? Yeah. Live in the sunset trip was 83? Because live in the sunset. It was taped in 82.

Okay, so I was 13. That makes sense. He had to tape it twice. No, I wasn't 13. I was like 16. What was I? 84, 85. 83. 15. I was 13. That makes sense. He had to tape it twice. No, I wasn't 13. I was like 16. What was I? 84, 85? 83.

15. I was 15 years old. Let's see. I was nine. So I saw both of those movies. And I remember Richard Pryor. I was like, wow, Eddie and Richard. You could tell Eddie studied Richard because they had the same mannerisms.

A couple of the same jokes too just in a different way you know what i mean so it was kind of a thing where i fell in love with richard prior because that was my first six but i was nine you know and i saw sunset strip and then i saw the documentary where he had to shoot it two nights in a row the first night he bombed and he told everybody to come back the next night and that's the one they shot he yeah he shot uh he shot it two nights in a row first one he apologized to the crowd it wasn't going well and the second night he said y'all need to come back and uh we're gonna try this again and so why would he want the same crowd because he felt like he did

a disservice to them but what that's so weird. They're going to hear the jokes again. Yes. And he murdered. Are you sure that's true? A hundred percent. It's in his documentary. You don't believe it? I believe it. Oh, shenanigans.

I mean, that's what was in the documentary. Yeah, but a comic wouldn't want the same crowd to come back. To hear the same material. Unless he stopped it short. Well, no, he didn't finish the show. What was wrong with him? He said he was just off. he it was him it was him and he goes in and they were talking about the first like 15 minutes of the set or 20 minutes of the set did not go well and he just stopped it and said look i'm not bringing it tonight it's off y'all come back tomorrow night

jesus christ and they kept the cameras and they shot it the next night And that's And that's what you have In 19 So in 1983 I was either 14 or 15 And I Yeah here it is Here it is It actually came out

I'm sorry it came out in 82 This 82 It was released in Australia in 83 Okay So it was 82 That means I was 14 Yeah

I was 8 I was either 14 or 15 Which makes sense The documentary This is a fun fact i definitely know it was pre-pussy for me see the film was at a train of thought and forgot all most of his material he apologized to the audience and ended the show early leaving the audience angry prior pulled himself together and gave a much better performance the next night most of

the footage in the film was from the second performance yeah completely messed up his performance during the first filming of the show. Yeah, but that doesn't say he brought the same audience back. Well, in the documentary he said... That's what he said?

Well, because it was only one show. What do you mean? They didn't shoot two show specials. Like, they only taped one night. Well, he said they filmed one and then they filmed it again. Yeah, he filmed it again

the next night. Right. So that crowd... I mean, how are you going to... They get a crowd crowd he can get a crowd anywhere he in the documentary it said he used the same crowd he told everybody because he felt so bad that he right right he cared though that he just stopped the show he stopped the show it was like okay i'm not on strange yeah and he brought what the documentary says he brought the same crowd back the next night and he murdered it and that's what you saw yeah wow and i i still remember that i mean those two like uh raw delirious and the

sunset strip live from forever it will stand out in my mind it's just it's just amazing and then like bill burr special the the black and white one it's like incredible incredible you know and I just I love watching comedy of people with jokes that I know I never could do like that's my whole thing you know

I don't like watching because I'm a family comedian so I never watch like family comedians what does that mean to me I talk about family most of the time

like you're a comedian I don't curse that much how often do you curse in an hour show twice maybe what words do you use? In an hour show. Twice? Maybe.

What words do you use? Shit? Yeah. You ever say fuck? No. No? No. But I don't curse in real life.

You say, this freaking guy, do you ever say that? No. Don't say fricking, whatever you do. Fricking. That's more offensive to me than fuck. Yeah. Oh, no, I just- This freaking guy. It's not in my- I'm sure I curse a couple times in this just freaking guy it's not in my i'm sure i curse a

couple times in this pod but i don't it's not in my normal conversation like i even when i'm hanging out with my dudes i don't really curse that much yeah hmm i don't know and i'm sensitive yeah it's a lot going on and i'm sensitive i have my kid i'm so sensitive man i don't know that did you change oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it changes the shit out of you well it's a biological change it's also like you had girls all girls it's also it's a recognition change like you you kind of understand life in a different perspective that i don't know if it's really available to you if you don't have children i don't think it is i just think it's i don't think everybody has to have kids i'm not one of those zealots that says if you don't have kids you ain't shit i don't i think that's offensive i don't think that's what life's

all about i think you can affect people in a very meaningful way never have kids and there's nothing wrong with that but i think for me at least for being the caveman that i am it's like it was very important for me to see these little girls grow up and become you know human beings that are interfacing with the world and getting an understanding of what that means and like realizing that if you can do just a little bit to make the world a slightly better place that could greatly affect all the people that your own children will come in contact with as well and they can actually affect other people and have those other people treat the world in a different way and treat people with more respect and be nicer to people and you can we could have a better world for everybody well your kids my kids, everybody's kids. The thing that struck me right away, as soon as my son was born, is I've never had the feeling of, I would die for him.

As soon as I met him, I would die for him. As soon as he touched me. It's like a goddamn Prince song. I would die for you. I would die for you. But's like princess gone too soon yeah what about that guy man god you want to talk about a super powerful fucking entertainer oh one of a kind human being i remember i was a kid i was delivering newspapers i was driving around and i was uh i listened to driving around And I was I listened to

I had a cassette Of I Wanna Be Your Lover Which is like His first big hit And I was like Holy shit Listen to this guy Like listen to this guy

And the cover is just him With his long hair With no shirt on Looking beautiful And the cover What is he? Like what is going on here? And I was almost

You know Because I was like Fucking 18 or something I was almost like Turned off by the cover That's it right there oh yeah i was like this is just i'm not buying this he's just too beautiful he's he's dreamy look at that goddamn mustache i'm having weird feelings right now and then i listened to i would uh you know i mean uh i listened to i want to be your lover and i was like god damn what an unusual dude did you see purple rain i'm sure yeah of course like that whole morris day apollonia like that wanted to be prince i bought i bought an overcoat just to wear a long overcoat so that some prince would wear were you too old

for the michael jackson thing the the i had the thriller jacket no i didn't wear that i thought it was i thought the michael jackson thing was interesting because I thought he's obviously a stunning, incredibly talented performer, but he was so weird and so unrelatable in every way. So oddly feminine and childlike, even though he's in his 30s. It was baffling to me. I was like, I get that he's super talented. And then when the plastic surgery started happening, his face started changing and morphing. I'm like, this is just strange. Did you ever see either one in concert?

No, no. I never saw Michael Jackson or Prince. I saw Prince. No. That was an amazing show. I had an opportunity to see Prince at the Hard Rock Cafe, and I blew it. The Hard Rock in Vegas. Yeah.

And I blew it. I should have seen him. I never thought he was going to die. Yeah, and I'm seeing everybody now. Yeah, you should. Tom Petty is another one. I never thought he was going to die. Yeah, and I'm seeing everybody now. Yeah, you should. Tom Petty is another one. I never saw Tom Petty. Yeah.

I went to one of those print shows at the Palladium like four years ago. He did a random seven-night show. There wasn't anybody there. There was maybe 500 people there. Really? The whole floor was empty. What? I don't know why.

I don't know if nobody knew or something. They didn't announce it at the right time. It didn't make it to Twitter, whatever. I only heard because my friend worked there. I don't think that's the don't know if nobody knew or something they didn't announce at the right time or didn't make it to Twitter, whatever. I only heard because my friend worked there. I don't think that's the only reason I knew about it. Well, I think when we're looking at Prince now, we're looking at Prince as like a dead legend. I mean, he's a legend that's gone.

And we think of him as like, God damn it. He was so good. He had so many great songs. But I think back then people thought of him as an older guy that they didn't really care as much about anymore who hasn't put out relatively popular music yeah for quite a while he turned into an artist i guess they could say where the music was just for himself and he wasn't really something new yeah right it wasn't a new smash hit no you know it's like there's some guys right that like one

of the things that keeps kanye west relevant is that he's constantly putting out music yeah constantly puts out stuff that people love he constantly puts out stuff that smashes and some guys lose their enthusiasm for productivity yeah for being prolific they lose that and then they don't put out stuff anymore. And then they become like Rod Stewart. Like Rod Stewart. I'd like to see Rod Stewart. I'm a giant Rod Stewart fan.

Like when Maggie Mae comes on the radio, I get excited. I love that goddamn song. I love a lot of his music. But how many tickets will he sell right now? You know what I'm saying? Will he sell out the Staples Center? I don't think he will.

You know, when you, I know you're still on kanye coming on the show and they're not even they're united okay i mean i would if he wants to do it but i don't want to put any pressure on anybody absolutely and i don't necessarily know the podcasts are the best place for someone for everybody they might not be the best place to just talk about shit but maybe it's better to just do music did you get to talk to him at least on the phone? Yeah, I've talked to him. Yeah. Very nice guy. Let me tell you, man. He is so opposite his persona on the outside that you see in gossip magazines and on TV. I used to host his Donda West Foundation event in Chicago.

And a lot of people don't know the good he did in Chicago. If they had perfect attendance, he would go there every year, throw a huge concert, bringing like Common and all different types of Chicago artists. He would bus everybody in from all over the city and throw a free concert for all these kids that had perfect attendance. And it was good to interview him that way because at that at that time at that time when his mom was still alive he was such a down down to earth humble guy and actually shy and shy like he was really shy so when and this was at the time i would see stories about him yelling at sway yeah yeah and i'm like this is

not the dude that i interviewed well he's volatile you know he goes all over the place yeah that's part of why he's such an explosive artist oh he's incredible incredible those guys those the people think different remember that stupid apple ad think different yeah there's people that really do think different differently that's one of the problems with that apple ad it's an incorrect grammar but the there's people out there that just have a different vibe. They're on a different frequency. They're a different wavelength. And they're the ones who create great shit, man. He has a gift.

I mean, he is, you know, a lot of people outside go, oh, he's out there. He's definitely out there too, though. Yeah. Yeah. But he's a genius. Yeah. He is a genius. He's doing something in a different way.

And that moves our culture along. That's what, when you're doing stand-up, right? If you're nailing something, if you really lock down something and boom, you put out a live on the Sunset Strip or a Delirious or something like that, you're changing culture. You're making people, people are going to spread out in these ripples. They're going to go to their job in the morning. They're like, we saw Michael. Yo, holy shit, he does this joke about his cat. Whatever the fuck it is, whatever the joke is.

And people will be crying and laughing. And there's ripples to that. It's positive ripples. You change things. It's amazing that when you do stand up, what I love about it is when I was just a host doing the entertainment shows, I would go into castings and I go, oh, you're a host. Go ahead.

Now, being a comedian, it's the most, I will say that it's the most respected thing in our industry. Like I was on this- You have the most balls. Yeah. I was on the set of Modern Family when the show was huge and the actors were like, oh my God, you do standup. How do you do that?

And they're on the biggest television show at that time, Modern Family. Even actors respected. So how castings have changed. I go in now. They go, oh, we saw you at the Improv. Or we saw you here or there. And you can host. This is amazing.

So just the respect you get from doing good comedy, it's better to me than a Taylor Swift on stage. Because she has a whole band. She's having a bad night. She can kind of lip sync her songs. I just saw a quote. It says, Michael Yeo says he's better than Taylor Swift and all she does is lip sync. God damn him. When he was on E, he respected her.

And now that he's gone, he's flip-flopping. He's flipped. He's flipped. We got to wrap this up, dude. We already hit three hours. Isn't that crazy? Stop. Three o'clock. Dude. What the fuck up, dude. We already hit three hours. Isn't that crazy? Stop it. It's three o'clock.

Dude. What the fuck? Fuck. What the fuck? Three hours? Three o'clock, bro. No way. It's three o'clock.

It's a goddamn time warp in this room. Dude. Michael Yo, that was a lot of fun, brother. We'll do this again. Thank you so much, bro. Thank you, my friend. Thank you, man. Oh, tell people how to find you on Instagram, Twitter, all that jazz.

Everything at Michael Yo. That's Y-O. And my special is streaming free on Amazon Prime. Right now. Right now. Go to it. Blazing. Everybody's got Prime.

Yeah, everybody's got Prime. Check it out, man. I would appreciate it. Thank you, my friend. That was fun. I'm glad we did this. Dude, me too, man. Michael Yo, folks.