The Joe Rogan Experience - #1298 - Neal Brennan

Episode Date: May 15, 2019

Neal Brennan is a stand-up comedian, actor, writer, director and producer. He is known for co-creating and co-writing “Chappelle’s Show” with Dave Chappelle. Check out his podcast "How Neal Feel" available on Spotify.

Let me sign my waiver. Sign the waiver. Before I... We're live. Great. While you're signing that sound. Great. I'm glad that people are seeing me.

Neil Brennan signed it. As everyone will be a notary public. I wonder if they can... There's a software that can listen to the sound your pen is making and figure out the lines you're drawing. You know, they have technology now where when people are speaking in a room with a with a window they can get rid of the window noise they can no they can tune into the vibrations of the window from the sound of your voice and pick up everything that's being said in the room

i heard that there's a netflix you because before i mean net Netflix doesn't give people ratings but there's a way that there you can get they can gauge reflections off of some weird fucking

technology where and it's fairly accurate reflections off of windows? yes I don't this is second hand yeah

like second hand not it's like I believe it's sound waves. Oh, wow. Yeah. What are they monitoring? Jamie's got something.

I have no idea. What do you got, Jamie? We can buy this right now if you want. Jamie. Long range laser listening device. The long range laser listening device, laser microscope, is a highly sophisticated surveillance apparatus that utilizes an invisible infrared laser beam to eavesdrop on a target. This is the most effective long-range laser listening device in the world that allows

the operator to conduct an undetectable surveillance operation on any targeted drone. From Tony Stark Industries. With at least one window at an impressive distance of over 500 meters. That is actually very impressive. That's far. That's far as shit with the laser beam fuck and you just buy that as i say that's commercially available and i wonder what is not commercially available oh for sure right out there like you remember when there was that story about uh some

weird sound weapon they think that the cubans are using on yeah americans that were in cuba there's probably a bunch of shit like that. I was reading an article. Submarines have technology they can listen to basically like fish farting in the ocean if they wanted to. They can hear sounds that quiet. They can hear anything. Literally if a fish farts, they're like,

what was that? Was that a sub? Nope, it was a fish. Wow. What was the next sound? Good for us or something i guess good for somebody good for us i guess uh yeah the sound thing was funny because it was like people would get sick yeah and they could and then it there was also they did it in china too they were like they at uh american civil like ng like non-government or like kind of work for the government tangentially or they

worked at the embassy their apartments were above each other two separate people and both of them it was on 60 minutes like not long ago like so they targeted the rooms yeah it's like a dog whistle for people yes in essence and it's like well what do you want me to do i guess you just leave i guess it is like a dog whistle yeah i just want you to feel like disperse yeah get the fuck out of here oh yeah there's probably a ton of technology like that that we're not aware of my friend mike swick used to fight in the ufc and before that he did a brief brief spent uh stint rather um in the military he was doing something some sort of uh it was either secret service work or something along those lines. But anyway, he was at the embassy in Russia.

And he said that they had found listening devices that were so sophisticated that they were being powered by the natural sway of the building. Wow. With the wind. So they didn't need a power source. The natural swaying of the building in the wind was powering up this little microphone that was listening in on things. And he said they were looking at this stuff and they're like, we don't know anything like this. This is completely new stuff. And we found it in this building.

I like, I mean, I don't love, but it's like. It's kind of cool. It's cool. Yeah. Like I just don't kill me or us. You know what I mean, I don't love, but it's like, it's cool. Yeah. Like I just don't kill me or us. You know what I mean? Like the hope is we just both would they have their thing and we have, and it's just like mutually assured destruction, like an arms race of technology.

Cause that's what's going to happen. The amount, do you use the cloud? Yes. I know. Like I don't use it for important stuff, Yeah. But I use it for like my apps. Yeah. You know, my apps are backed up in the cloud. Recordings are backed up in the cloud.

Sets. Sets that I'm doing. Yeah, but there's like photos or video. It's just a bit like. Not much. I don't know, man. It gets fucking crazy. I mean, we're getting down to some very strange place with the cloud.

With stuff being just in the air. And the amount of trust it takes, the presumption that we'll just never run out of energy and we'll never run out of the ability to tap into the cloud is like, I don't, that seems presumptuous. I'm not even like a doomsday person, but I just feel like it's like the difference between how men dress in public and how women dress, like on a night out out women are wearing heels and guys are dressed in case they have to fight i'm still like we will do the thing in the mirror we're like i'll fucking i'll fuck you up and like that's how i feel with technology where i'm like what do i have a backup plan for this even people with like wi-fi door locks i'm like i don't know man i don't know man i don't

know good if the wi-fi goes out what are you gonna do yeah like please be care i don't i don't know what the what the negative scenario is but even my garage in my place and i live in like a townhouse thing and there was a power outage the gate won't open and like okay there's no release there was a there was a release uh that somebody a better person than i figured out you know what i mean like i would just like like i can't come like a little uber i didn't have a fucking plan but someone figured out like you open a hatch and then there's a chain, and you've got to pull the chain. And it was like, okay. But it wasn't easy.

Like, you know, it's the doomsday thing. It's like, eh. Well, this guy, Graham Hancock, this guy's been on my show several times. He was just on recently. And he's one of the main proponents of this theory that something somewhere around 12 800 years ago hit the earth and fucked up everything and probably reset civilization killed off the vast majority of us 12 000 years that's not that long ago not that long ago at all it corresponds with the end of the ice age there's a lot of physical evidence for it and increasingly we're seeing more and more evidence in terms of ancient cultures that existed far before 12,800 years ago that they really didn't understand.

They thought people were just hunter-gatherers back then. Now they're finding evidence of things like – there's a place called Gobekli Tepe, which is a giant – these huge monolithic structures that are made out of stone carved like huge columns yeah that don't seem like they were made by hunter-gatherers it seems like there was probably some sort of a lost civilization and they know that this all happened somewhere around that time somewhere around 12,000 years ago so um it can happen again and if it does happen again all our stuff is on digital now which is even weirder it's it's weirder than books right we have books but the vast majority of most of the data that we all keep and share we share on phones and on computers yeah and we can't read it we can't read it without programs i don't know the first thing about

do you know what i mean like i don't know anything about i was i was talking last night like i don't know much about my the different the the level of education women have about their reproductive organs versus men oh yeah like my my balls i know about my balls i know that the medical term is testicles that's about it don't get them hot if you get them hot yeah again that's like that's like a child and you only know that from like oh because i got them hot one time right but i don't know how semen gets to the i don't know the name of the two i don't know anything and that's my body right women know tons they know fallopian tubes vulva cervix like everything um yeah guys

know prostate cancer what my my ass oh yeah cancer and not curious i mean like not like curious in a way of like ah let's just hope just hope for this it's none of my business plus to get checked out you have to have a finger in your ass and everybody puts that off yeah now meanwhile women do that once a year constantly they're always getting jabbed at and swabbed swabbed yeah they get the pap smear a smear smears in the title yeah oh jesus just every imagine if you needed people to come inside you, you needed them to not just exchange bodily fluids by kissing. No, they have to squirt something in you to make people. Yeah. It's an odd.

They're poisonous little dirty DNA. They're dirty little fucking infected. It's awfully gross. fucking infected it's awfully gross if you get like 10 feet away from it you're like jesus i don't know what they're doing but why you're in the moment it seems like it's the most logical you gotta do it can't not do it yeah did you uh speaking of that uh did you see the thing about gerard no that i don't if you want to bring it up but he basically came out a little on hbo came out a little came out a little to his mom said i've had uh sexual experiences with men oh um and uh it's uh it's just like was she cool with it yeah she was cool with it yeah that's the thing when i

people are like what do you think i'm like i don't that sexual preference at this point to me is about as interesting as like your workout like i just don't care like what are you doing there you go cool you know what i care about are you funny are you funny and are you cool yeah and and like do we have shit to talk about right great yeah i don't i couldn't care less who's what type of hand you like jerking you know what i mean like i think what kind of mouth with some guys like tim dylan i think it's an advantage with his act that he's gay yeah he's so ridiculous and over the top and he's just like big fat gay guy yeah but he doesn't really talk does he talk about it he'll talk about it sometimes yeah but i mean you know it's not a big deal to him he treats it the way a guy treats his sexuality like you don't have to go blaring

through his treats that you're straight all the time. Right. If you are, I usually assume you're really not. Right. Right? Like, there's no, yeah. If you're straight, you're straight. Yeah. If you're not,

no one fucking cares. In the comedy community, literally no one cares. Yeah, it doesn't, it makes no difference. The only thing that bums me out is when guys hide it. It's like, come on. Does it bum you out for them,

or you? Yes, for them. Yeah, it really bums. But, having said that, I get it. I get it. It's a real bummer. It's sad. We know a few guys that are in the closet.

You just feel bad for them. Exactly. Yeah, man. I hope it's not unbearable. Right. You know what I mean? I get why you're in the closet. I get why actors are in the closet, especially male actors, because it doesn't serve them

to come out. It's not going to help them. I think it's the worst thing for them in terms of getting roles as a heterosexual. If you're a known homosexual, you almost can't get roles as a heterosexual. I can remember there was some, who is, what is that guy's name? Neil Patrick Harris. He was in something where he played like this arrogant guy who likes girls. He was in.

What was it, a show? No. Well, no. And no, it was on How I Met Your Mother. Yeah. And that worked. He also played a straight guy in Gone Girl pretty well. Yeah.

Was that before or after he came out? They've both been after really and i was all because i said i was surprised that that's what he played but like certain people they just i don't know he might be the only guy that i agree that like he came out and it's not then he's he you buy it somehow as a romantic lead you think that it's like it cancels that out like if tom cruise decided to come out if tom cruise is gay and he decided to come out like that would be a real problem you know what i was talking to somebody about this the other day you know it'd be a hilarious movie idea uh gay couple tom cruise and uh john travolta john travolta john travolta gets kidnapped

and gay tom cruise has to save his gay husband john travolta and butvolta gets kidnapped And gay Tom Cruise Has to save his gay husband John Travolta But other than that It's a real action movie Wow It's just gay I like it

Wouldn't that be fucking cool? I like it Like just a straight If anyone out there Is a screenwriter Have at it Because I'm never Going to write it

Would that fly? Would people enjoy that? I think Like if it was really good Like John Wick style I think it would I really think it would write it. Would that fly? Would people enjoy that? I think. Like if it was really good, like John Wick style. I think it would. I really think it would. If it was, if the guy just kicked, it's not like gay guys are like a feat.

I know plenty of like rough gay guys that'll whoop your ass. Bears, bro. Bears, bro. They got their own growl. That's how fucking bad these guys are. Yeah. To really, it would be fucking so cool. Like, and you just go, yeah.

Because that's how I feel with someone like Gerard coming out. I'm like, I don't care. Okay. It's never come up. We've been good friends for a decade. Just never came up. Yeah. Like, he didn't seem that interested in women, but I also don't think he's not interested.

He's just maybe a little. There's definitely a spectrum right and so people are just yeah and that's fine too yeah yeah i'm also not matt like if i were on the spectrum i think i would absolutely do it yeah i'm just not on the spectrum like i but in terms of opportunity there's a lot of nights a year joe oh yeah there's 365 nights a year oh yeah you could you're not gonna do the pussy dick pussy yeah go back you go back more same night split it up dom i had the best joke about that he goes he goes i he goes this is how little i give a fuck he goes i wish i was gay just so i

could come out yeah because i wish i wish i had a secret like that yeah because that's how little i give a fuck it's so true it's like his joke about i'm gaining weight for a movie i don't know what the movie is yet but it's a fucking great joke um yeah but the gay action movie would fantastic i'd like it i do too i within a year or two people would be definitely ready for it i if it were a legit good action movie yeah i think they'd be if it were tom hardy even if maybe if they were both one of them was straight and one of them was tom hardy and he just plays gay and and like he it's it's taken right it doesn't have to be two gay guys could be even crazier two straight guys who have to make out yeah they could be played by straight guys

absolutely then we're right now we're talking now we're really talking now you're talking and now you're talking commitment because i was thinking about do when if tom cruise was gay right uh and he just came out and there's a movie where he has to save his wife would women not believe it do you know what i mean like yes like so if you come out so it's like all right so now in the next mission impossible they just kidnap his husband yeah well for sure you could do that with lesbians if you had two hot lesbians oh yeah of course 100 yeah no there's zero issue that would be no problem uh there'd be no resistance and that's the difference between a lesbian actress they can go a woman who's a lesbian you know why that is i believe gay straight because there's a big portion of men who never truly believe a lesbian i have a bit about it yeah i had a bit about from one of

my old specials it's like we believe that you believe you're a lesbian yeah but uh you just ain't got a piece of this sweet dick yet You never spent a Saturday with me At fucking Applebee's I hit you with an Applebee's And then a bar, corner bar, forget it The panty dropper Tequila shots, what do you got? Brokeback Mountain

It wasn't really an action though Do we know for sure that both of those guys are not gay? We do not We assume I mean Jake Gyllenhaal straight and you say so heath ledger but you saw that movie how straight i mean come on man you saw he you believed it jack no one's that good at acting definitely crazy there's no way he could play crazy that guy's definitely gay trust me i know things i've seen many movies and understand them i know when someone's acting

and someone's just gay a fucking kid believe that was easy for him yeah no it would be that but running around yeah that could happen that could i think that could happen i think we're on the verge of that i would enjoy it i'm happy for it because then people stop getting free passes where you're goofy but you're gay so we let you slide with silly behavior like no no no no no no i want equality i want you me to be able to call you a dunce and not have to worry about being homophobic and no one hears gay dunce right when you say it you just gotta use guys a fucking dummy you're like hey hey hey dunce oh my god you're homophobic yeah oh my god oh my god yeah it's the it that's how it would go at the comedy seller like it just like this fucking dunce that's what i hear it would count dude i hear that the comedy

seller is like seriously has a social justice warrior infestation like they need to like spray the place oh i don't i mean when i've been there it hasn't been like that i mean they've been there have been people writing about it they've been i mean it's like the comedy seller is like the main hub of culture now it's the main hub of wokeness yeah i mean it but it's also like the the main battlefield of wokeness where it's like louis came and they were protesters and then i couldn't sit at the table and i because it's like all right i mean yeah i don't think it's pull your dick out yeah i told louis to pull her dick out and she was a hero i was i was quoting all these tweets uh that were talking about it and articles that were written hero she was heroic i think i think someone sent me a louis article today i think there's just

fatigue at this point yes i think people are just like taught like what's he i don't okay like try to find a new stormy daniels article yeah everybody's like enough yeah try we thought it was gonna work it didn't work he doesn't give a fuck he doesn't give a fuck oh fuck he doesn't care shit dude justin martindale was and i'll never forget he's in the fucking hallway of the comedy store as flamboyant as he could ever be yeah and he goes that's our monica lewinsky she's gonna take him down i'm like good luck stormy daniel yeah i'm like good luck that ain't gonna do shit yeah so what's the worst thing that comes out of this that he fucked her or that he paid her to keep quiet and she didn't keep quiet what's the worst thing do we think he doesn't fuck yeah it's all different strains on like we knew he was

gross no one cared the only way that we'll it goes he raises taxes yeah or then he'll lose his base or you uh raises taxes on lower middle class people and if he if he like doesn't stand by his abortion stuff but otherwise all the donors are sticking with them. Everyone's sticking with them. What happened yesterday? There was a new abortion ruling. Was it in Alabama? Yes. It's basically outlawed. I personally believe it's going to backfire.

You think so? Yeah, because I think people, the thing that's always been true is Republicans were against abortion and they would go like, and they never got to repeal it right but i think they're gonna repeal it and then people are gonna go like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa this is crazy if you don't want to get abortions fine but you can't uh change a law based on a lot of times not even a plurality of of uh you know like in general elections like in the general presidential election like it's not even the majority of the country that elects the president now what who voted was this something

that the people of alabama vote no it's the it's the the government like the the state legislation that is a slippery slope yeah and it's like you're going you're doing 99 years in jail if you get an if you give an abortion or get one yeah that's what's what it is now? Yeah, that's the law that they passed. I just personally believe that, I mean, I'm obviously hopeful, but it's a bit like, nah, that's too far. It's a bit like when they made Clinton testify, and people were like, eh, that was too far. A line was crossed when they made Clinton testify about his sex life.

And it was like, we don't like that. We understand that you wanted to rebuke the guy, but don't make the, and I feel like I'm hoping, and I believe it's true, that it will be too far afield for moderate people. I hope you're right. for moderate people i hope you're right and it's just it's very dangerous when you just decide that no one can do it anymore based on a few people's decision that is going to affect the millions of people that live in alabama well also abortion laws are odd because it it's the assumption is the reason christians want to outlaw it is because they think god is gonna say what's with your vote on that i saw that you voted for abortion what like you want to kill babies yeah so you want to kill babies like well no i didn't i didn't kill any babies yeah but you voted for

it's like they don't want to live in a country where that's legal having said that if you google the worldwide rights of abortion it's not legal everywhere which surprised me because i was like where is it what is america's uh where do we stand within the rest of the world and there are not a ton of countries but there's an there's i think it's illegal in a quarter of the world. Wow. If not more. Well, abortion is one of those things where it's like, okay, when does it bother you? It doesn't bother me at all if you're two days pregnant. It doesn't bother me at all. It bothers me a little if you're four months pregnant.

It bothers me a lot if you're five or six. It bothers me a lot. If you look really pregnant and you get an abortion, it's like, what is that? Is that a baby that would be viable outside the womb because it's one of those it's it's something that people just have a deep discomfort about when discussing even if you're a supporter of it if you just discuss the actual reality of what it is what the act is what this surgical procedure is and it makes you know it's not it's not nothing that's the thing it's not nothing like and and i think that one of the indicators that it's not nothing and i'm pro

pro-choice as i yeah like um you're right wing joe everybody knows that um super so i'm so far right i go the other way i'm left um on the backside. I actually do want to talk about that. The presumption about you. That one of the indicators is when people talk about even getting an abortion, they always whisper about it. And I don't know if it's because of the stigma or because it's kind of not. Yeah. It's a personal thing, too. I don't think they want to discuss it with other folks., it's a, it's a personal thing too. I don't think they want to discuss it with other folks,

but I wouldn't care if you got it, if I got a cyst removed. I mean, if that's the indication, just that, yeah, if it's just a medical procedure and again, pro-choice have at it.

Yeah. I'm sure I've never, I don't, I haven't had any abortions that I know of. Um, but I don't, I don't know at what point i'd be like ah and these attitudes about it about the taboo of discussing it though it impedes rational discourse it impedes

your ability to talk about things and communicate about them because you have to have this very rigid opinion that you're always pro-abortion pro-women's rights woman's right to choose which i am it but we're still talking about a real thing and that real thing is killing a thing that would grow up to be a person and that's why people freak out about it and to pretend it otherwise yeah it's just disingenuous louis was the first one i heard talk about that on stage in a way that was funny we're like if they think they're murdering babies down there yeah i'd protest too yeah if i thought they were if there was a place that i thought these people are murdering babies right i'm out there every day yeah he's like i don't care i personally think they are murdering babies i don't care i mean that was too this is before he got in

trouble and yeah this is one of the things like when like that parkland joke that he did i was like look that's not his best joke but it's also he's working it out yeah he doesn't stand up in 10 fucking months he's working it out but if you say that he's different now we're getting to see the real louis like bitch you better go through his library yeah that's what he did yeah the part that was like his ninth most offensive joke yeah not even close he's he's that's what he does it's called comedy yeah they the idea was like well but we didn't know he was because you didn't even know him yeah because you didn't know anything you assume what you believed what he fed or you you wanted to believe i actually i have a theory that one of the reasons people like the new york times and and

and uh other media outlets got brought the hammer down so hard on him is because they'd heard the rumors and ignored them so now they have to signal that like this is wrong because there were rumors before right and they were like we don't like they they ignored them so now they have to overcompensate be like he is absolutely he's the face of hypocrisy and evil i was like okay well he just caught it at the worst time ever culturally. Yeah. There's that. It's a bad. He had beachfront property during a hurricane. Yeah.

He just is like, yeah, some hurricanes you can destroy. You got the deep stilts. Not this one, motherfucker. This is a fucking structure flattener. He's walking around. Oh, my God. This is my cup. Oh, my cup. Yeah. Here's what i want to talk about with you the idea because whenever i tell people we're friends or that i go on your show they're

like how can i'm like first of all because you're a fucking good dude and have been a good dude for 27 years that i know of to me um thank you it doesn't mean you're always good whatever you're always good dude every time i say whatever i don't fucking know your life i don't know what you do outside of fucking encino uh the uh and now the next question becomes why do you have cranks on what people would consider cranks on the show and you and i have talked about this a little bit off the show explain because you are basically liberal yes but you believe in having hardcore right-wing people on because you like them personally or you like you believe it's worth some of them i like personally some it's worth having a conversation like ben shapiro was one that i had a long conversation with he's one of

the more controversial guys that i have on, where people get upset at me and call me an alt-righter. Yeah. Which, meanwhile, he's been attacked by the alt-right. You know, I mean, he wears a yarmulke, for Christ's sake. I mean, he's not alt-right. He's not a white supremacist by any stretch of the imagination. He was the number one target for anti-Semitic remarks in the entire world in 2016.

Well, he's, there's that. There's definitely that. Look at at him he's a Jew but we had a in-depth conversation a very long one about gay people yeah because he's I saw a little bit of it where he was like he kind of didn't he kind of got a little lost well yeah because it doesn't well he had two different take here's like david parkman uh had a an interesting take on it packman said that if you look at his explanation because i asked him a couple things i'm like do you really believe that moses part of the red sea and he said i would look for a more naturalistic explanation for that but then when i talked to him about gay people and gay things he wasn't interested in a naturalistic explanation and he also wasn't interested in a naturalistic explanation and he

also wasn't interested in giving people the ability to do whatever they want he felt like you're not you're supposed to resist that and his take is that like you you have an urge to murder people but you don't do it because you're a good person and you should do the same thing with being gay and i was like wow that's a crazy that's crazy mental gymnastics so that is a natural he believes the natural occurring thing that god is testing you with i mean i'm putting words in his mouth i think but essentially that's his position his position is that god doesn't want you to do that it's in the bible he doesn't do it i mean he goes hard yeah he doesn't use electricity in the sabbath till the sun goes down the whole deal yeah and um you know a lot of people

like you know you're giving this guy a platform like look i'm communicating with someone and i like him as a person he's a very nice guy i don't agree with him at all about that about the gay and you believe it's worth giving people a platform what does that mean see i'm not a platform but like i think that's a real problem discussing things like that like giving people a platform because we're living in this world of de-platforming people i think that's inherently dangerous and i think that just stopping people from their ability to communicate just makes more pressure on their side it makes more people that are on the fence support them because i see you as being a censor and that's what i think we found out with jack from twitter jack dorsey when he came on and talked to me about it and when he brought vidja

on who's the lawyer and you know like censoring one is censoring all sort of it's not smart it's it's not good it does the opposite of what you intended to do it makes the other side magnified it makes whoever you're censoring more popular it makes them an underdog and it also goes against core American values like the freedom of speech and I know that these are private institutions and i know that they're not necessarily forced to uphold what we determine as free speech in terms of like how it's written in the constitution the bill of rights i get i understand that but i think that the principles of human interaction on this planet are largely dictated by our ability to discuss things, even if you disagree. I actually do agree with you that the, I think, like, deplatforming and silencing and he's a...

It's dangerous. I don't... There are very few people that... Well, there's no one that I agree with 100% of the time. Right. Including... Even yourself. Yes.

Including your joke about, like, you don't agree with yourself. Yeah. I don't. I don't. That's real. Yeah. Well, that's also, there's something Buddhist about it, which is like, your thoughts are not correct.

Right. They're not even your thoughts. They're just like. And they're dependent upon your emotions sometimes. Yes. They're dependent upon your stress levels. Yeah. You know, sometimes you just like, you just don't have it in you.

You're like, stop. Yeah. And other times, the same situation, you'd be super calm and reasonable and maybe you could turn it around yeah if you've eaten yeah like there i saw a thing yesterday doctors are worse in the afternoon oh i'm sure judges are worse i've heard surgery before surgeries in the morning yeah uh yeah so to your right wing thing the right wing thing it's just an easy way to dismiss me because i'm not right wing. If you ask me my positions on things, it's very left wing. Yeah. The only thing that I vary with the orthodoxy is with the second amendment with gun rights.

I don't think it's just that simple. I know a lot of really good people that have guns and I know a lot of really good people that would never shoot anybody that have guns to protect themselves. And to label everyone the same is just like labeling everyone who drives a car the same as those incels that drove into people in Montreal or wherever that was. Was that Toronto? Wherever that was. Yeah.

It's, we have a real problem labeling people and labeling people with it's lazy and it's an attempt to marginalize or dismiss their positions. And it also feels good. Yeah. To do positions. And it also feels good to do it. It feels good to like, guess what? Writing them off. I'm superior. I have a very clear moral view. I'm taking out one of my moral paintbrushes and you are that.

And even if it's not a moral position, even if like that Neil Brennan, he's such a left-wing cuck. He's a this and a that. Boom. There you go. him in a box i'm gonna put a ribbon on it ship him off so you've read the comments when i'm on the canceled you're canceled i heard yeah that so uh i brought up that makeup boy and um the makeup of my daughter's in love with she watches this makeup on youtube and now he's been canceled i understand he lost three million and she's she was telling me to have an 11 year old sit down and tell you about a gay makeup artist and this is the funny part she goes well there was a couple things okay so there was the thing with he has um a friend who and he tells me this woman's name who got him into the business and then she asked him to promote her hair stuff

but he said no and he went with another hair stuff so he totally totally betrayed her all right it's like my 11 year old's telling me this and then this was the best part she goes there was also some talk that you know he's gay and there was boys that were not gay and he tried to get them to be in a room with him. It's like listening to an 11-year-old tell me the shit. Well, by the way, that also could have been how, that's the tone of the internet anyway, as an 11-year-old girl. It is.

I'm in touch. At least it came from an 11-year-old girl instead of like, so-and-so's canceled. You could read every, like, yeah, no, you're a fucking 40-year-old adult. Why are you talking like a little girl you're on a fuck you're on buzzfeed you're on fox like is he in the point where the new york times is going to be doing that like it's they're close to it now i mean

i think that alabama owns abortion people yeah what it is is the media right now especially journalism they're fucking starving for hits. It's so hard to make money. It's so hard. And so they're drowning. And so they're trying to grab whatever branches they can. If they got to make a good story with a clickbaity title, fuck it. They'll have that deceptive title.

Who gives a shit? We got a good story. The story's vetted. And even if it's not totally vetted, if it's a little slippery, but you can make an amendment later you know i'm sorry we have a little bit of an apology we have to make a retraction yeah nobody reads those goddamn retractions no i mean you should have to have a retract if you if you fuck up so hardcore that you attribute a crime to someone or you do something like that you have to make a retraction it should be on the front page of your paper and nothing else for a month yeah that's it this is

your newspaper now i'm sorry we don't get to tell you the news anymore by the way we fucked this up so hard that we printed out to millions of people you don't get to just put in a little column in the corner yeah we'd like to apologize we fucked up last month also 9-11 happened also planes run into the world trade center it's fucking too hard to be a journalist man well that's what i this is what another thing i want to talk about which is uh absolute meaning if you believe like i i still believe in like institutional journalists i believe in new york times i believe in washington as well was in Washington Post. And you used the fact that they wrote about a UFC fight. They just said he was bloody.

No, no, no. The McGregor fight where he was bloody and he wasn't. It was just a bad, very bad description. It was very inaccurate. I'm like, why would you do that? You guys are crazy that the New York Times is allowing this completely inaccurate description of something that millions of people saw. It's so silly and it makes everybody question everything else you say and you might think it's trivial

because it's just a boxing match but it's completely inaccurate yeah and completely exaggerating what actually went down well if you you've had articles written about you they fuck up everyone everything yeah everyone now having said that we can't dismiss all like there needs to be an absolute uh kind of an absolute truth and that's what i feel like is uh sort of melting in this era of anyone goes like well they said this and that's not true so everything else they say is fucking bullshit. Right. Of course. Which I think the,

the Trump does a lot. And I think people are all too happy to believe it because they resent institutions. They resent these smarty pants motherfuckers, which I also get, I get the impulse. I just don't think New York times, right?

Yeah. That's the smartest, the old gray lady. Yeah. Um, and it's like, it just plays on every stereotype like there are so many stereotypes at work that can make you write it off i think we're

in a transitionary period that's what i think i think what do you think it gets replaced by them that's the real problem the real problem is they they have all their pieces all the best journalists right all the best people are all locked into two ancient systems. One ancient system is print medium. The other ancient system is broadcast medium. The broadcast medium, the ancient part of it is it has to go on at a certain time, Tuesdays at 8 p.m., and then you have to sit there and wait for the commercials unless you DVR it, right? Right.

So that's inherently flawed. And then the print medium, well, they figured out a way to get it on your laptop and your phone now. So, okay. They've got a little bit of a workaround there, but they have a really hard time

getting people to sign up for digital subscriptions. The distribution's not nearly as good as it used to be. Yeah. And it's hard. It's hard to get people to buy newspapers,

but at least they've got their foot in the door with click-baity titles. And I think, like, the Times and the Post are pretty successful online. They're actually doing much better because of President Trump. Yeah. Because he talks so much shit with click and i think like the times and the posts are are pretty successful online they're actually doing much better because of president trump yeah because he talks so much shit about

them that people actually said i need to support the new york times what is it well they need to support it because they're like fuck man this guy's trying to take down the times it's so irresponsible he's trying to that's what i think might happen with abortion where it's like oh wait whoa i don't even want to get it but if you if this is where you motherfuckers were headed because they were being held back it was like motherfucker i'll fuck you up and then they got free and now they're beating the shit out of abortion people like whoa accidental pregnancies are the real problem it's not even i, obviously abortion is the solution, right? If you have to, if you want to do it.

But if the accidental pregnancy is the real fucking problem, it should be, it's one of the things that I talked about with Jesse Itzel, who was on the other day. We were talking about genetic engineering. He said they're going to eventually one day move away from sex for procreation. And sex is just going to be for fun. It's just going to be people bonding and joining each other's bodies. That's not going to be how we procreation and sex is just going to be for fun just going to be people bonding and joining each other's bodies that's not going to be how we procreate we're going to we're going to

procreate through some sort of you like a girl you make a call well it'll certainly drastically reduce the amount of people that have kids you know but what so does everyone do you freeze your eggs and like we give sperm i don't know how they're going to do it. I don't know how they're going to do it. I mean, I think there's also the problem that the baby supposedly bonds inside the mother's body. Like, to have a baby grow up in some sort of a fucking weird electronic womb, and then you make that kid a fucking sociopath. Right. He has no connection to people when he's born.

He doesn't give a fuck. He just wants to survive. I mean, there was that test tube baby thing, which I think started before but i remember that being an insult they put the bot but the baby in the body yeah they put the embryos in the person's body and there is the thing of uh surrogates yes so they who do they bond with that's a weird one man like that's that's the kim kardashian way now right she's having a bunch of babies with surrogates like you know you show up for the wedding or that you show up for the birth in a fucking tight skirt and like yay my baby's being born today like what what you're you have your clothes on yeah what is happening here yeah no

she's i gotta hire somebody my friend i got a girl on it my friend actually did that he's gay and he and his husband um they they mix their. They shot it in a turkey baster or something into some gal. I don't know how to do it. I might be making this up. You don't follow science too tight. Anyway, she got pregnant. Their surrogate got pregnant, had the baby, and decided to keep it. Decided she couldn't part with it.

And it's their baby. So it's their DNA and mixed with hers. And she decided to keep it, and she got away with it. Did they sue her or they just were like? I don't know. I didn't want to push. They were very upset

and then they wound up getting another surrogate and then having a child and everything worked out. It was quite a while ago. Yeah. But they were really bummed out, man. I mean, they were ready to be parents.

But then, you know, some people say, well, they were never going to be parents in the first place because they're gay and they didn't even have sex with her. Right. But it is their baby, right it's their dna that made that but it's not they didn't adopt a child right they chose to have a surrogate so

yeah no it's complicated and it's getting well that's the thing of like it feels like the level of danger and difficulty in the world is just getting steeper by the day we're like wait what and then there's always global day we're like wait what and then there's always global warming you're like oh fuck fuck did you see a fucking the science guy bill nye going crazy screaming he was on oliver yeah the planet's on fucking fire and yeah it's getting a little silly yeah i know like bro we're all right go to antarctica plants on fire bro uh no i saw a thing that antarctica was like 84 degrees oh my god it's on fire i mean yeah is it really do you really see something that said

antarctica was 84 degrees yeah something in the art circles 84 degrees like three days ago fuck is that what it's gonna be uh it's gonna be do you ever think about like global warming but really what it will look like like in 70 years what it will do to the art like and i'm not talking about just miami's gone or any that's like incredibly like crazy to think about it's like unfathomable those miami people they're gonna move other places and ruin that's probably the biggest that's my biggest worry everywhere he goes gonna be lamborghinis dudes yelling at girls in spanish eating outside everyone's fucking eating outside but like would you fucking get indoors you maniac party though a lot of salsa i love going salsa in like north carolina like get the fuck out of here salsa dancing let's fuck out of here with the fucking that ain's a good bit. They're like another country that's attached to Florida.

Yeah. It's like Europe. It's, I always say it's like people, do you see like Italian people like in Beverly Hills or Miami? And I would say to my friend, those are people that were too douchey for Italy. They're like,

Oh, we got to take it to the next douchey for italy and they're like oh we gotta take it to the next douchey level miami and then they go deep uh yeah that but but you think about like okay like not like 28 days later but like yeah you know like huge like scary fucking scary especially because we're gonna be near near dead, and no disrespect, you're not going to be in the same shape you're in now. And you're not, I mean, people may give you respect, but, like, it's going to be fucking scary. We're going to have to move to the mountains. Where would you move? The shit hit the fan.

Somebody, Sam, who's, what's callan's friend sam fighter's mind sam cedar no sam um the fighter's mind he wrote damn it how can i not remember his name yeah um hold on a second i'll tell you real quick this is gonna be worth it guys listeners this is sam sharon that's right sam sharon um thank you told me 10 years ago and stuck with me go to the marina because I live in Venice he's like go to the marina

and basically just get basically you gotta pay to get on a boat or just be like I will be

the hard part is how do I qualify to like I can help you right because I get seasick here's what I have going for me seasick because you just get away you get away from from la anyone you get away from uh in la's case

millions and millions of people and you can if there's a attacker you can see them you assume that they're not going to be like you know seal teams coming onto your boat attackers well i know but that's what i mean like how crazy could it get yeah you got to go to alaska how do you get there it's a good call how do you can you drive airports closed airport i mean i or like it's connected right you could drive you could technically drive yeah technically cut off that road all the time in like the napa valley because the landslide will shut off the road like if that happens yeah good luck where you're fucking gonna go and you're fucked yeah it's like burr's got the

helicopter but he's it's he's got to go to get it yeah that's his escape uh he had a great bit about that it's black and white special yeah yeah i would move north i'd probably move somewhere that was uh if i could just go to a place if i knew i just had to get to a place i would go to a place that is sustainable like uh whether it's alaska or minnesota or michigan somewhere there's a lot of animals and there's wildlife and you have you have cold you have water you have a lot like cold is better than heat because cold you can make a fire like if you have shelter and you can make a fire in the cold you can live i have a counter argument which is i don't i the cold kills more people than heat sure it does like every year it does but that's just

because you know people are unprepared for it. You can prepare for cold with clothing. You can't really prepare for heat with clothing. With heat, you need air conditioning and you need water. Those are two things that are critical. Or at least shade. Yeah, you need something. People that have lived in very cold climates, as long as they have a good house and they have a good supply of wood, they're fine.

If you live in the desert, man, you're kind of of fucked you're kind of fucked if the power goes out you don't really have anything to keep you cool you have to stay in the shade and stay indoors but it's not good enough and it's 110 degrees inside it's 125 if you're hydrated though i don't think you will just die from from heat exposure no you won't but you're not going to find a lot of water one of the problems with global warming is going to be that things like lakes, lakes and streams, there's going to be less. There's going to be less water. There's going to be less dribbling down through the creeks. Creeks are going to dry up.

Streams will dry up. You're going to have a hard time getting water if you're in a desert environment. If you have, by the same token, if you have enough water, you have as much water as you have wood, obviously it's not a one-to-one analogy because you can go get more wood easily. But if you had a shitload of water, right? If you just had like, I hear your thought about getting cold, but I don't know. If I had shade, I guess you don't, i guess with cold you don't have to have electricity you don't have to have electricity with cold and also you have more of an opportunity to find animals you'll find more animals in cold climates and you're going to find more delicious animals

for sure yeah more things to eat but you might you could still easily starve to death like the idea that it's easy to go out there and and shoot a bunch of animals and eat them all the time like not most places most places you don't have an abundant enough supply of wildlife you're also a guy who does archery so yeah i know you have skills for this and i would still be panicked i'd be like fuck this is not good if i had to feed my family with a bow and arrow first of all i'd say okay how many arrows do i have i would have to make sure that i have enough arrows i mean you have to practice too archery is not like a rifle if i have a hundred rounds i can kill a hundred things i don't really need to practice that much if my rifle's not off i can i have good trigger discipline i'll pull through the shot i'll try not to flinch and i'm not literally the two of those three things

I have no fucking idea what you're talking about When you're shooting You don't want to anticipate Right You don't want to anticipate I go You don't want to flinch When the trigger goes off

So a lot of guys Like Tim Kennedy Who's a friend of mine Who's one of the baddest motherfuckers in the world He'll practice with dummy rounds So he has regular bullets And then four bullets are just not real bullets so it's like bang bang bang click and then he has to get rid of that

that bullet but he at least he knows if he was flinching because if you're flinching you'll see this movement where there's no no gun goes off the bullet doesn't go off but you make that weird move because you're anticipating the shot and that's the way to train yourself out of it? Yeah, you have to do something like that. You have to have what's called trigger discipline. Well, first of all, trigger discipline means don't put your finger on the trigger, but also the way you squeeze. You got to just squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and let the shot go off by surprise and not react to it. It's the same thing with a bow and arrow.

You have to have a surprise shot. You want to concentrate on the target zone it in and which feels like you kind of can't even be there meaning like you just have to be like i'm doing a thing yep like you can't think about the release you have to just think about the target that's very astute of you there's actually courses there's a guy named joel turner who has this whole course called Shot IQ. He teaches first responders, like SWAT teams and shit, about trigger discipline and about how to shoot properly under pressure. And he works with people with archery with the same thing because it's a psychological thing. But my point is, with a bow and arrow, you're kind of fucked. You need a lot of goddamn arrows you need to make sure that bow is going to stay okay with an animal too like

like a deer well deer deer or bear would be like the most edible thing yeah you want a bear if you have a bear you could eat that motherfucker for a long time and you could take that fat and you could render the fat down use it for cooking and use it for you know you could do a lot of things with it and that meat is a lot of meat. Anything big, you want a big animal, because you want to be able to dry it out, make jerky. You want to have something that's going to sustain you for a few days or weeks until you find another animal. You're going to want to dig a hole in the ground to make some sort of cold storage.

You want to get below, like, the frost line. Yeah, because you've got to protect it from other bears. Yeah, you're going to have to do a lot of things and you're probably not gonna make enough food it sounds hard it's the hardest yeah every time i go on a hunting trip i always think like imagine if this is the only way i could get food yeah it's so goddamn hard to get close to an animal it's so hard yeah people see videos of it like on youtube and there's the deer and you draw your bow back and you hit it in the heart and the deer's down everybody celebrates what you don't see is days and days of hiking all day long just go if you could watch from a live stream of the moment a

hunt starts to the moment you're successful and you just sat through the whole thing like as a fucking games of thrones marathon then you would understand it. But even then, you wouldn't really because you wouldn't be out there in the cold, exhausted, hiking uphill, going thousands of feet up and down in elevation. And then the wind shifts and the deer smells you and it darts off. You're like, fuck. It's hard, man. It's like tedious.

And to survive off of that. See, I'm doing it for my own food. But if I don't get a deer i'm gonna live i'll go to a restaurant if you're if the only option is deer that you catch and kill and find your daughter's sick oh my god and you gotta fucking catch a deer that's when you wonder you know you wonder how am i gonna am i gonna watch them starve to death that must have been really exciting for native amer Americans or just any ancient people of just like getting like, you know, I think we could kill a buffalo. Yeah.

If we all like, we all have to be fed, like we all have to team up and that's why humans have survived. But like, it must have been so fucking like a celebration like an ewok celebration you know what's crazy to this day there are these areas where they find a lot of arrowheads because they would drive these buffalo off cliffs yeah how fucking nuts is that like they know the spots where they would drive them off cliffs and fall down and sometimes the bodies would decay because they didn't eat all of it. They couldn't. There's a hundred buffalo fly off a cliff.

There's only a thousand Native Americans in this spot. What the fuck are they going to do? They're going to eat as much as they can. How are we going to get rid of this meat? But the rotten ones literally exploded and caused a forest fire in one area. They think a forest fire was caused by a rotting pile of buffalo that eventually exploded. Like a whale explosion kind of thing? Yeah, like that kind of deal.

Google that. Make sure that's not horse shit because it sounds like a lie coming out of my mouth. They believe that a rotting pile of bison was responsible for starting a fire. Yeah, because they found all this charred stuff. And they were trying to piece it together if i remember the story properly and i think they were like this might have happened because the bodies rotted so much they exploded and it started to fuck because it's like you have the gases from all this rotting tissue like you know whales explode on the beach they splatter on people yeah fantastic So they're trying to take this to a next level.

How much heat would be generated by all this bacteria? What kind of explosion could this make? Yeah, and also, why would the explosion... Is it a spark? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, what caused it? I would assume it's gooey. Methane gases and rotten gases.

Yeah, like there would have to be some Something to ignite it You know those little Arrowheads that they find You're supposed to leave Them in a lot of places If you find them You're supposed to Leave them there

Just for like luck Or something For you go Fuck yourself I ain't leaving shit Oh yeah If I find an arrowhead Like oh you have to

Leave it I know where it's going It's fucking going up there Yeah where is it going Like if I leave it Someone else is going To pick it up I'm picking it up

Yeah have a good person Pick it up You have to leave it you have to leave it here no no no you can't have it is that like the parks commissioners or i don't know when i was hunting in nevada they said that if you found an arrowhead you had to leave it there i was like okay yeah oh you know what i haven't talked to you about what uh doing these big venues oh arenas yeah weird how do you like it it's fun man san diego was a lot of fun it's um it's strange though it's a lot of goddamn people does it feel like disconnected no no it didn't surprisingly san diego is interesting like the people that were in the front they were right there man, man. How many is it? It's 7,000? No. San Diego was 12-something.

Almost 13. 1,000. Close to 13,000. It's unbelievable. Yeah. It's a lot of people. And it was in the round? Yeah.

That was weird, too. And did you have a plan? Nope. I did a lot of sets. I guess you can't really think about you can't worry about the people that are behind you you can't you got it well they have giant screens everywhere so you get everybody got to see you um i i definitely was aware of the magnitude of the show and i did a lot of sets that week i did like eight nine sets that week before i did it like the funny thing was i didn't understand i was like how is he not selling this out and then i saw a big event he was like oh it's a fucking arena

i was like i thought joe was as popular as ever been and then i'm like why is this guy posting so much and then i'm like oh because it's a he's doing a stadium yeah it's hard to get that last last thousand i know and you're still you can't the i don't know if it's the human mind or like the competitive comedy mind but like can't leave it alone you want that fucking thousand like you want to hear sold out yeah like doesn't like yeah but you don't want to go saw joe rogan 12 000 people yeah but what's it hold like 12 9 yeah oh what a pussy you can't even get 900 more people like you bro and you would kind not you would think it's a failure, but you would always be like, yeah. Josh Wolf showed me a picture once of him on stage opening up for Larry the Cable Guy in front of 50,000.

Jesus. He did a football stadium. Jesus. Get her done. Well, that's what Kevin Hart does those big, I mean. He did one of his Netflix specials. Like 49,000 people. Yeah. Something fucking insane. I mean, I wouldn't want to see that shit. heart does those big i mean he did his uh one of his netflix specials yeah like 49 000 people yeah i'm fucking insane if i mean that i wouldn't want to see that i wouldn't want to go to that

weird third balcony like what do you even i mean i don't know i guess people like communal experiences like that yes i think that's a good way to put it um but like when a venue's 50,000, you're just far away. Yeah. But I guess if you like the- But there's giant ass screens and everyone's in there together. You've created a culture. So people go to be a part of the culture. Kevin's created a culture.

Larry the Cable Guy created a culture. So people go. It's like to be around their brothers and sisters kind of. Kind of? I mean, straight up though. Not like it's even intentional that's the thing i like about podcasting as a successful medium and your podcast in particular is like the shit you're you're into comedy you're into fucking weed you're into ufos and the unexplained you're into government conspiracies you're into

gender issues you're you're legitimately into all this stuff and you created a tent where everybody feels like welcome like hey it's gonna talk about the thing that i'm like you're interested in a lot of shit genuinely you're not going i'm only interested in comedy or more niche about it you just like this shit you're into you're not going i'm only interested in comedy or more niche about it you just like this shit you're into you're into inventions and fire and guns and hunting you're just into a bunch of shit legitimately and you express it and people love it well that's the difference between actually being into shit and talking about the things you're into versus talking about the things you think will be popular. Right? Yeah. You kind of,

you can't, you can't do that for, I guess you, I can't think of anyone, but you would get off the top of your, off the top of my head who that would be. It would be obvious that you weren't really tuned in. You wouldn't be really interested in it.

You're not, you wouldn't be as enthusiastic. Yeah. No way. And you are genuinely, you only have on people that you genuinely like or genuinely interested in and doesn't matter if they're famous not famous like whatever it's controversial not controversial like it's just shit that you're into you're expressing it's the

the another reason why i like pockets it's like watching someone exist. Yeah. And it's like an expression of your subconscious or your brain. It's like the typical day in your brain of just like, I like this, and then I go over here, and then I go this. And you've been able to do it in a way, which is why it's so popular. It is popular, but it's not even the right word. It's like resonant with people.

Yeah, I think for a long time, people have been doing shows where the show was produced and there's a bunch of people behind the scenes and whatever that person is, it's almost more difficult for them to get their personality to shine through all that shit but if it's just stuff that you're really interested in yeah then people get a and it's also people you like and then sagura takes off and burt takes off and uh who am i forgetting the joey takes off i didn't know how long you've been friends with joey joey i've been friends for 23 years yeah theo like guys that you just genuinely like like that they're just kind of like even the the the like sober october thing or like it's you know the numbers are massive

yeah it's because it's like a show it's like a i know it's everybody's a character and it's like an old radio play like here comes fucking burt kreischer you think he's got something called the mickey mantel jean what the hell is comes fucking Bert Kreischer. He thinks he's got something called the Mickey Mantle Gene. What the hell is the Mickey Mantle Gene? Mickey Mantle. Like, everybody's got, like, it's set up, and it's not, like, it's sloppy in a fun way. Yeah. And it's cool, and you get to reap all the reward.

All the guys that are responsible for the, because the other thing is so many this is the first time like in in certainly in media history where guys are in charge of their own everything yeah like you own the label i mean there's not even a label it's just my thing their artists tried like the beatles had a record label and they would bring people on and then they would... It always got fucked up. Every single time. And this, I feel like, is the first time where it's like, Segura's got, like, you know, his umbrella now. He's got, like, his... He's got his spinoffs. And it's fucking excellent.

It's just excellent. It's so great. excellent it's just amazing excellent it's so great i was talking to a guy who used to be in charge at viacom and we were talking about you know when they when people do shows now like you know they'll pay uh kenny barrisso they'll pay shauna rhymes and they'll pay dave allen chris all these guys like 20 million the writers get 100 buddy my mic sure created good place and um parks and, and he's getting 25 million a year for the next five years. Jesus Christ.

And his shows aren't hits. His shows are picked up and successful, but they're not like cheers, right? Wow. And I said to Doug Herzog, the guy from Vodka, I go, how much were you fucking guys making before? What were these, what were these companies making 20 years ago? Like what was ABC making 20 years ago that they, and they,

even Seinfeld said that he, he's like, I was the first one to get a hundred million an episode. And I go, which is a pittance compared to what they could have paid you. And he's like, I know that now, but back then a million dollars in... What?

What are you even going to do with it? And now it's like, what are they going to do with it? What the fuck? They were making a hundred million an episode, but because it's a logo and a corporation, you go, well, that's what a corporation's supposed to make, 100 million dollars an episode. Meanwhile, if a guy makes a million, you're like, what are you going to, it's like this

unfathomable thing. It's like where they get mad at basketball players and not the owners of the teams. Yeah, and it's also that distribution model of putting something on a network. There's so much fat. There's so many people. There's so many things that you have to pay there's so much so many different places the money goes it's almost like you have to make 100 million dollars an episode for everybody to make out yeah but also no they don't but also

they're still taking 90 yeah you know what i mean yeah even with all the revenues with all like the the uh all the miles i gotta feed, it's still a huge profit. But as a writer, don't you think that investing your time and effort into a sitcom today, it's like, whew, good luck with that. I don't. Dude, I just started. We used to do the podcast. We motioned to this podcast called The Champs.

It was great. And now I just started one a month ago called called how neil feel look for it in your local thing um how neil feel that's the name of the podcast got a theme song everything's very um but it was i was like why am i trying i did a pilot like a year ago for a network and they gave me notes and i was like oh i forgot about notes i forgot that they were gonna give me notes like oh like i don't just let me that was always the thing that me and dave got to with comedy central and they finally left us alone after like six episodes where i was like let us show it to the audience and let them decide we don't want to bomb we want to bomb less than you guys do. Trust me. Trust me.

You've never met two people who want to bomb less than me and him. And so they'd be like, well, we don't. And they're like, let's show it to the crowd. If they like it, then great. And if they don't, then. And we did this real world sketch. And they didn't. They were like, we just think it's a bunch of unfunny scenes back to back.

And we were like, let's just show it to the crowd. And then we showed it killed. And they were like, all right, we don't know what we're talking about. They literally said, we don't it's a bunch of unfunny scenes back to back. And we were like, let's just show it to the crowd. And then we showed it killed. And they were like, all right, we don't know what we're talking about. They literally said, we don't know what we're talking about. So do whatever you want. It's a bunch of unfunny scenes. What a fucking. God.

Yeah. Oh, those people. But that's the, I get that they feel like they have to do something. Yeah. But we're, comedians are willing to like all our skins in the game it's all it's all of our it's our hide every time so why do you feel the need to like correct us or i don't mind if a if like a executive is like the first audience do you know what i mean or like hey your shirt's fucked it whatever like like a minor stuff but it's like material wise most of you are not

good at divining what's special about somebody or what's an innovative segment or you know what i mean like they don't even think about that they're just they're ambitious people who are just like working their way up a thing and they're like is it my turn yet right i get to fucking i get to put my stamp on it now yeah yeah they want to to add something, even if it's irrelevant. I had a joke when we were doing Half Baked. I'm going two for two with Dave. But we're doing Half Baked. And I said to Dave, I go, we should do a thing at the end where we should just say, hey, let us do whatever we want.

And at the end, we'll pass a hat around. And you guys can take credit for something because ultimately that's what you want you want to be able to take credit for something right don't fucking make us do it i know you just want credit that's all you want you just want to feel good about yourself you want to feel like i contributed to this thing but let us just let us do the thing you know what i mean and if you. And if you're like you, who just been, how long have you been doing the podcast? Almost 10 years. Yeah.

It'll be 10 years in December. You're going to do a big network show about, I'm kidding. Network anniversary special? Yeah, I'm going to go on AM radio. That's hilarious. I've been thinking about taking over an AM radio station for the day. That's so funny. That'd be really fucking funny.

I wonder if they let me but even like in when we used to do it in your house yeah you know what i mean like and it's like that was a long time ago you were on you were on an episode at least seven years ago yeah yeah i did two in your house that was back at the kids be in the background yelling at each other and shit. You'd hear it in the hallway when they were little. Yeah. It's crazy. Or 114. Wow.

Episode 114. So how many? That's two years, a year and a half in? Yeah, probably. What is the episode now? This is 1298. That was 98? No, this is number 1298.

No. I was like, what is that? It was 98. It was 1100 episodes ago. 1100 episodes ago. Yeah. And it's from, look at me, I did like, what is that? It was 98 when the podcast started. 1,100 episodes ago. 1,100 episodes ago. Yeah, and it's from, look at me, I had a faux hawk. Look at you, you beautiful bastard. Look at it, faux hawk, 80% nose.

That was before I realized I should put a beard on, wear a little beard, wear a little scruff. Podcasts are a very, very strange thing, man. It's just this, no one saw saw this coming and everyone can start one but i don't even think you saw it come do you know what i mean like i don't you didn't see this yeah like presidential candidates around my fucking show yeah telsey gabbard on yesterdays yeah running for president i didn't watch it but yeah i wanted to talk about real issues that affect the world i'm like okay yeah uh weird yeah and i'm sure do you feel i mean you kind of can't change your ethos you can't be like i'm a role model and i need to no no it's not no no no i'm just gonna be me you know and the world's gonna be weirder

but it's just me but it's also the thing of like you're in these development TV movie worlds and you're like, just let me talk. Just fucking let me. I promise it'll be interesting. It won't all be interesting, but it'll be. Interesting enough. It'll be interesting enough, often enough, that just let me talk. Well, I couldn't imagine giving up that reins to someone now like if uh all of a sudden we brought in some sort of a producer or network that's like look we're gonna take this podcast

to the next level but you gotta listen to me joe yeah you know wear a nice shirt that episode you did with elon musk you know one of the great reasons that that show was very successful is the way you were dressed yeah i know you don't like to hear this we tested it yeah we tested and uh had nothing to do with him being weird and smoking weed and having a fucking flame thrower. You wore a nice pink shirt. You wore a nice shirt. I mean, is there even – you could never test whether a podcast is going to be successful. You couldn't organize it.

No, because it's all word word of mouth it's just weird fucking they like it they like it like a conversation like this with you and i we're actual real friends yeah so when we talk it's very evident we have chemistry yeah what's known as a chemistry yes like each other yeah that's right normal yeah yeah and so people get to know right like so uh are you enjoying your time here on this earth well that's the thing doing so doing this and i told i remember telling somebody like it's like doing the tonight show in 78 in terms of like i was in singapore and a guy came to the show who saw me on it like every it's this you can't it's not even worth knowing if you're you it's

like fucking don't worry about it just show up and talk but uh i can't pay attention to that yeah it'll be paralyzing yeah but the uh so i'm like the funny thing is when you do tv when you do something that's going to be seen or heard by this many people like a tv show if i do seth or the daily show like i prep this i like, fucking, I don't know. We talk about like so many times I'll run into you at the store and we basically have like a 10 minute podcast in the hallway. Yeah. You know, we just start and you'll say, have you seen this?

Yeah. Like you pull me aside. Like, have you ever heard about ketamine? Yeah. I'm like, what? And then all of a sudden you're telling me you're taking ketamine sessions. And that's the thing. There's no, you can't prep and it would be odd.

You couldn't explain it to people 10 years ago. Like, it'll just be people sitting and talking. Now, the comedians are by nature pretty entertaining. At least pretty talkative. Yeah, at least pretty talkative and on the high end, entertaining and funny. Ari had the worst advice. He's like, you got to edit it. Doing it for an hour.

Just do it one hour and edit it. Yeah. I'm like, all right. Do you know when people turn it off or anything? Nope. I know that the average time that someone watches on YouTube, we know that, which is like what? 35 minutes or so.

35 minutes on YouTube, which is a lot. Yeah. That's it because the average is like 15 seconds. Yeah. What's a normal average on YouTube? Three or four minutes, yeah. For everyone that watches for 10 seconds, there's someone that watches for an hour and a half or three hours.

So the average would be like three or four minutes for a normal channel. Yeah. Well, the difference between something on YouTube and something that's a podcast that you're listening to, though, I think the people that are listening are – I don't want to say this. I don't know if it's really true. don't want to say this i'm not i don't know it's really true but they might be more invested in like because they're subscribing to it and they're listening to it in their car on the way to work they're listening to it a lot of times when they're at the gym people on youtube can flip they can just decide to go to the next what's this and that and then they get you don't get taken down a rabbit hole with podcasts with audio podcasts you just listen yeah you listen to the

whole thing or you go to your one of your other yeah whereas youtube like you could stumble upon this accidentally right now someone might be stumbling upon this very video right now on youtube welcome welcome welcome friend same for you bitch uh the other thing you forget is how much people fucking drive yeah where they're like i'm in my car four hours a day you're like what why and they're like and and you are their friend yeah that's weird do you know what i mean like you're there whether you it's like you don't know them but you they really like you and they feel like they have a connection with you yeah and all the other people that like you and theo and dalia whoever's here you know people that that come in yeah then those people become characters

in their little world play as well yeah like you'll see it in the comments of like this fucking skinny fuck is like literally like this skinny fuck

is bad do you read the comments no well the last time I did it the comments were so bad that I didn't even you were you texted me I was like boy

they must be very bad because you were like we did something right or something I was like, boy, they must be very bad. Because you were like, we did something right or something. I was like, well, they must be awful. And then I didn't, because I know what they're going to say. It's like, what do you think I'm dumb? I'm not a dumb. You got to say whatever you think of me.

I'm not dumb. Right. So I disagree with you politically. All right. I don't, you know, like I don't, I don't. That's one of the reasons why i bring people on that i don't agree with i think it's important to have conversations with people whether on the left or the right that you don't agree with just to find out who they are and what they think

yeah and just to have discussions it's also like testing your own feelings about like just like okay no that's that's all right i still feel having heard arguably their best argument or a very cogent argument for their side. And you go, yep, I think that I think the thing that is lost in our in one of the things that's lost in the world now is because of partially because of the Internet or blog or whatever, where have to be a hundred percent in every belief and it's like i'm not a hundred percent in any belief no like i'm like i there are some beliefs where i say i'm 50 that i'm 51 and but that still wins 51 is still the thing i tell you, whereas people can't believe you either got to be a hundred percent or zero. You're a cock or you're a fucking stud. Yeah. Like,

uh, and there's no like, yeah, well, abortion's a perfect example where we're both like, I'm for it, but, but it's pretty brutal or it's pretty,

it's a severe thing or whatever the, but, and you're not allowed to have a butt anymore. You can't, you just can't go. I have a measured point of view and it's a severe thing or whatever the butt and you're not allowed to have a butt anymore you can't you just can't go i have a measured point of view and it's i took the vote in my head and it's 70 30 and you're not and if you change your mind somehow that's bad that's my someone said well not just one person many people said you flip-flop on things like no i i consider things yeah and it's not it's also not when politicians do it it's because they it's politically in they're going to work in their favor yes you do it because you've thought more about it or you heard the right argument at the right time and you just go okay yeah i change my opinions all the time i don't i don't i'm not

married to those fucking things i don't need them you know my opinions are the time. I don't, I don't, I'm not married to those fucking things. I don't need them. You know, my opinions are just ideas in my mind are something that should be explored. And there's certain ideas that I just hold steadfast. Don't rape. Don't murder people. Don't steal all the obvious ones. Everybody holds those.

Yeah. But then when it gets to unusual, weird, slippery things, I'm like, okay, well, what is,

why, why is there an inclination to lean towards a certain direction like what are we virtue signaling are we you know we are sending out the the flag of tribal obedience what are we doing when we're discussing these things and a lot of that is what ruins discourse and this is what i think i have a real big problem with deplatforming. When you start deplatforming people and censoring people, you don't just want to not hear them. You want no one to hear them. And this is where I have a problem. It's because who the fuck are you?

Like, why are you the one who gets to say, even if they're wrong, even if they're wrong, let everybody figure that out. It's misinformation. That's the thing. It's like a pizza gate or one of the, or like thelex jones thing where it's like dude what the fuck are you doing pizza gate is a good example right because people get ramped up in it they're like what and there was that guy ben swan who was a uh a journalist who had all these he was he had this video that he put out that showed like all the different connections with conspiracy theory or

with uh pizzagate and uh various conspiracies and pedophilia and it was it was a real weird one and everybody's like what it's just because these things are similar it doesn't mean there's a pedophile ring going on there like what is that what exactly is happening there but then you hear about someone like jimmy savile and you go wait a minute wait a minute this guy was fucking kids for how long yeah and no one like how are there any other ones right now that they haven't exposed yeah you know what i mean like that kind of that kind of shit does i don't yeah having yeah i i think there's a big there's a ton of distance between uh there are pedophiles and there are pedophiles in the pizza place.

In the basement. Yeah, like, I believe there's pedophiles. Right. And that they should be stopped, and they're mostly, and my bet is, I don't think none of them are powerful, but I don't think that there is a, I just don't really buy into conspiracies, just generally. See, I buy into some, because there's some of them that are provable. There's some of them that really did happen, where you go, Jesus Christ, they really did that. Oh, yeah. There's a bunch.

Like, in, like, third world countries where we're both fucked with elections, like, the shit like that. Like, that is, yeah. Like, that's not even a conspiracy that's just like a poorly told part of history that's just like howard gulf right oh yeah yeah yeah but that's i think that's well i think that's uh out yeah you know what i mean oh yeah um do you know about the operation northwoods do you know about that one i don't know that one's probably the most disturbing one because that one was signed by the joint chiefs of staff they were going to organize a bunch of attacks on america and blame the cubans so that we could go to war

with cuba they were going to arm cuban friendlies and have them attack guantanamo bay they were going to blow up a jetliner and blame it on cuba they had all these plans and it was signed by the joint chiefs of staff and then vetoed by Kennedy. He was like, what the fuck are you? Yeah. Like what were you guys doing?

You guys are so, I went to fucking the Hyannis port and I come back and try to blow up airplanes. And the thing is, it's, this is something that didn't fly, but we found out about it. How many of these things we didn't find out about that actually did happen

and that we think are legitimate instances in the news or real attacks and yeah i just think it's a drop in the bucket i think it's a drop in the bucket i think it's less than one percent in comparison to actual events into actual reality versus i agree yeah and so when when people are the reason i don't like conspiracy theories i think it people use it to explain their own failure a lot of the time like we say it a lot in comedy like well you can't make it unless you're a oh god let's be a woman you're like all right man that's the worst i hate that fucking that perspective is so crazy it's like listen if you're killing people are gonna see you if you kill a lot people go to see you a lot yeah it's that simple that simple. You can't fake it. It is a meritocracy. It really is. And it's like there are certainly like some quota stuff in the margins, but no one's making

it, no one's doing arenas because of a quota. You can't pull. Yeah. There's nothing you can do to get into arenas. Yeah. People have to actually like you. And this excuse making that people do do as a straight white man i can't get a break in this town like oh my god when you're a straight white man and

you're complaining like you got one of the most fucking captivating hands of cards in in world history in the world history in 2019 straight still a great hand Still a great hand. Still a great hand. You might get beat with a crazy, you know, Nanette. Yeah. A Nanette hand. A Nanette can take you out at the hamstrings. Nanette will get you on the river. Yeah, but. Where she what?

I know. She got number one, but it wasn't even funny. What the fuck? Oh, man. Anticomedy? What's anticomedy? All right. My take on the Nanette thing thing and i haven't even seen

it it's like do people like it yeah good i saw it live did you like it yeah i liked it a lot nice it's not like i saw it in new york i saw before it was on netflix like i saw it and met her and was like thought i was like nice it was an awkward conversation i'll say that well she is a little spectrumy right isn't that i think that's a fair pretty open about fair estimation yeah like it was it was it wasn't like easy do you find that you when you speak to certain women in particular you feel like almost like you're guilty of something like you did like you're a male like you're an oppressor do you ever you ever not too many women and it could

just be a projection it could be my own it could be i'm like auto projecting i'm like i definitely do that i there aren't too many but i think you have to work against stereotypes you're working against tattoos built bald yeah right wing podcast well cage fighting commentator i forgot about that jesus joe yeah i'm a monster yeah so like you have a lot i'm pretty you know a feat the way i look is a problem it's like and i what are the odds you're not sexist right or a dickhead yeah yeah not that good yeah like what are the odds like so uh you try i mean i don't i don't

feel it too much but i can imagine how much what percentage of women do you feel like you have to do that with the ones who don't know me once they know me like i'm pretty pretty nice like go to a venue you go to the venue that you've never been to there's a woman the backstage one of the works for live nation or she works the venue like does she assume that you're not if they work for live nation okay i'm nice to all those folks yeah but i think that if someone has uh like a very staunch feminist perspective and they meet someone like me they might depending upon their perspective they might think that i'm the enemy that that's a that's a possibility that like right away they look at me like the enemy yeah well that's the thing of like what are you absolute like even and you you can tell sometimes

when you're arguing with with people that are super uh dogmatic about whatever they believe in that they can you can watch them go into a line of logic that they know that they then realize I can't. Cause that will like, uh, seed some ground to this person. They go like, and it's like,

I saw you start to go down that, like a, just a reason. And I'm not saying, uh, stop believing what you believe in. It's just like, it's, it doesn't have to be a hundred percent. what you believe in it's just like it's it doesn't

have to be a hundred percent exactly just it's fine you can still but you're still win the popular vote it's just majority rules it doesn't have to be overwhelming just just don't it's dishonest in a way because they don't want to believe they don't want to have uh they don't want to have a chunk of their armor in terms of logically yeah they want to lump uh they don't want to have a chick in their armor in terms logically yeah they want to lump people into categories because it's easy to define them too you know we were goofing yesterday me and joe list were goofing around about alyssa milano's sex strike that she was proposing and i was like with one of the things that's offensive about that is first of all that um that women would agree with you that they would just withhold sex from the person

that because alissa milano said because alissa milano said you should withhold sex because in fucking georgia they're limiting abortion laws but the second thing is that like that you would assume that all men are responsible for this not even just the voters in georgia but all men somehow a man in minneapolis should be denied sex from his progressive girl or that he's gonna call like his friend in alabama like man this you better do something because i'm not getting no pussy up here bro this fucking sex strike is for real bro this is hitting us so it's so delusional and such a dumb flag of virtue that they're throwing up and it's such it's such stupid 2019 woke politics

that that was actually by the way it's like based on las estrada like a old greek play wasn't really yeah no shit there's a sex strike and yeah that's the yeah and that's what that movie shy rack was about it was it was a sex strike no in chicago yeah did that work it's uh i don't think it's ever i don't know will you google and see if it's ever been done i would imagine that girls just use an excuse to not fuck a guy they don't want to fuck well it's also like i'm on a most of them aren't fucking anyway it's like yeah like what are you gonna it's like rock had that joke about like what are you gonna you can't stop you're already not fucking me dude i when Dude, when you hear women talk about not wanting to fuck their husbands, it's like, it's such a depressing, like, I was listening to this gal.

She was like, well, you know, most wives don't want to have sex with their husbands. Like, what? You listen to that. You're like, ugh. As a husband, it bumps you out? Or as a human being? Humans are a lot. That they're in a situation.

Yeah. As a human being. Humans are a lot. That they're in a situation. Yeah. Well, the thing that people like the most about relationships, but besides the fact that you love someone, you care for someone, is having sex with somebody who wants to have sex with you. Yeah. It's great. It's fun.

Yeah. It's a fun time. It's very rewarding. It's super. It feels real nice. It feels great. Especially, take a little hit. So you really feel it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, feel it yeah yeah yeah yeah it feels great so when you hear that someone doesn't want that and then you know their attitude is that most women don't want that most women don't want to have sex with their husband they just do it because they have to well that's also it's very hard to get a clear story about women and sexuality in that like it's i don't i think it's varies from wildly oh for sure like hasn't it been girls you've dated yeah even the other day i put a thing on on uh instagram where i said how if you start following a guy how long do you think he should wait to dm you because as a guy i'll have girls follow me and because i just do jokes on there i'm like like, does this girl want to? I don't want to be like, so you came for the comedy.

Also, dick. Yeah, that's a weird thing. I don't want to bum her out if she just came because she thinks I'm funny. But like, yes, but what about fucking me? Can I interest you in that? What about my penis? Yes. So, and of course, the answers were all over the place.

Yeah. Like four days, days five days ten minutes and then i said but if he's cute it doesn't matter and they all wrote nope yeah if it's if it's aquaman just let them yeah it was fine slide i like that you're referencing aquaman is like the paradigm of hotness not because he really is he's as good as it gets yep he's well this is what my wife said she She goes, he's everybody's type. Yeah. Including fish. Yeah.

He's a big, giant, handsome, beautiful man who seems to be extraordinarily kind. Yeah. He's got everything going for him. And open. He dates a woman that's older than him. Yeah. Yeah. He exercises.

What does it say? Furthermore, sex strikes have historically been effective. I opened this and didn't read it. As pointed by Chicagoist, in kenya the philippines liberia thanks nobel prize winner lima what how say that g-b-o-w-e and in columbia where women held a 10-day sex strike in 2006 to end gang fighting wow and it's a great it is a great idea it truly is like if you want to affect change just get every i was saying to somebody last night like we all know like every somebody was asking me about cheating.

And I was like, I'm not a cheater, but I was like every guy does what they do. Most human achievement is because men wanted to get like buildings, electricity. If you think that scabs are a problem in unions, just

trust me. If you got a fucking sex track, them hoes yeah i'm hoes are gonna come out of the woodwork what am i gonna use i have no lever this is my main leverage like um but but yeah like it's a it's a great bargaining tool oh yeah i mean it's the it is the bargaining i mean that's in some ways that's most of the negotiation of a relationship is like where girls go like women don't control. It's like they may not control it explicitly, but I know if I do something that's going to get you in a bad mood, you're not going to fuck me. And legalized prostitution is one of the, one of the best ways to combat any kind of

sex strike. And that is one reason why women fucking hate the idea of legalized prostitution they don't ever want that to not be negotiable they don't ever want you to be able to go oh oh i'm an asshole yeah i i'm going for a drive i and you go right down to the store yeah when you go to the sex store yeah and you pay for a 10 and she's built like jessica rabbit and you banger and you have a time of your life and then you go home and your girlfriend's got a little bit of a gut their ass a little saggy and you're like i just no i mean you can't tell me what to do anymore i spent 80 bucks just it wasn't that much yeah if sex was legal financially if it was transactions it is legal in a lot of countries

or not a lot of countries but a few countries a few yeah enough but if it was legal in this country how much do you think it would shift perceptions and the way what people i think it would i don't know because i was just in singapore and apparently it's legal there by the way i went to like there's a i was in singapore did some shows excellent and uh and there was a place called uh it's orch Road, and it's a mall during the day. And at night, it becomes a mall for prostitutes. They have a prostitute mall? Yes. It's Orchard Road, and the awful saying for it is four floors of whores.

I hate the word whore. Why do you hate the word whore? I don't know. It just it just bugs me something about it's like you whore it just feels like dice or you like hooker i don't know i like hooker as a term of uh endearment no not like that like barney shut your mouth hooker like a girlfriend who's just joking around about something like shut your mouth hooker and then yeah he'll laugh yeah uh so but it i would so the the the local guys were going there and i was like well yeah i'm gonna go also because i want to see this place because i've read about it and there was a restaurant there that they ate in which is a whole other issue but it's literally like a mall like a shitty mall like not like a you know glendale gallery where it's like like a law it's just one of those like square ones

where it's like four floors there's an escalator in the middle and then there's just basically like and there's just wimp prostitutes hookers as you call them uh out in the walkway jamie's got a visual for us. I was trying to find something, but I found a TripAdvisor review of Orchard. Don't go at night. Yeah, wow. Don't go here at nighttime

unless you want to be shocked a little. The whole place turns into countless brothel bars. I feel like I need to scrub myself after our visit. I was there about three minutes, and I was like, all all right because the thing is there's a difference between legally a legalized prostitution and anyone wanting to be a prostitute they don't want to be i mean they are right i don't think they're being forced to coerce but life is coercing them what are you doing what did you think about the robert craft situation here's what bothered

me about that two things bothered me about that one they they accused him of being a part of sex trafficking right but turns out that wasn't true there weren't there were just regular girls who wanted to jerk guys off for money right it wasn't there's no one there wanted i think is a big word willing he did it voluntarily whatever um and they were threatening to release the film footage yeah of him like you're so what are you doing you're trying to shame him into submission and the fact that this guy even though he's a billionaire he can't stop that from happening like how crazy well the funny thing is the fact that he's a billionaire and still has to go to the to the fucking drive-thru.

It's like, boy, I wish there was a better system. There should be a better system. Yeah, I mean, I think it's going to be robots. I think sex robots are going to blur the morality line. This is a similar thing about there's no relief anywhere. I was at a party recently, dicaprio was there and there were and there were a bunch it was just like a huge crazy party like crazy hollywood party like the kind i never go to them there's just like any just everyone's there and uh dicaprio's girl wanted to leave and he goes well uh the girls are tired so got to leave the greatest party ever.

Like he had to leave, like even Leonardo DiCaprio, the king of kings. The girls are tired. God. How long had they been at the party for? I don't know, an hour and a half or something,

but there was like a dinner before, but it was just a funny thing. Like, oh, okay. So there's no, it doesn't matter who I am. Yeah. You still, when they're done. Yeah, when they're done, you gotta go. Sometimes. But having said that, we still all do it for some invisible Shangri-La.

I bet she would have stayed at the party for Aquaman. You know what I mean? I bet Aquaman was there. She would have been like, it's fine. Let's stay. Yeah, my feet are old. I'll take off my shoes. Whatever. Yeah.

But yeah, there's still, he's still kind of, I mean, we're still doing it for some primal, like all the achievements and all that shit. It's still some. Yeah. Well, you want to be respected and loved and liked and you want people to desire you yeah that's that's part of it right even if you're not gonna take them up on it right yeah like i told an anecdote on on uh how neil field this week um about the best compliment i ever got i was doing a show in vegas with two buddies of mine who shall remain nameless.

We get on the elevator at the end. One woman gets on and goes, can I just say I'm married, but I would fuck all of you guys. Whoa. And it was great. It's like, oh, we feel accomplished. We did a great job at the show. You're attracted to us. You just happen to be married and that's

so nothing's ever gonna happen but thank you for expressing your attraction to us i wonder if she was saying even though i'm married no she was saying it like just so you know if i weren't married if i wasn't married yeah and not and she didn't mean at the same time either she was a little drunk she was but even tipsy she said some ridiculous but that's a very nice thing to say like that's kind of what you want from everyone for a guy yeah like hey i would fuck you girls don't want to hear that like yeah thanks yeah no kidding that everyone wants to come on yeah hey how do you like doing a podcast with bianca i love doing it she's hilarious because She's hilarious. Because she's funny. She's smart.

Smart. And she's a pain in the ass in terms of like, she is very like, no, like she has her own logic. She has her own belief system. And we just argue it out. She's more in like, and she's also like 10 different races yeah yeah she's like so she's pulling from a like her father's middle eastern she grew up in oakland like she's got a lot of different like she's got panamanian she's got panamanian she speaks german i think like

for real like she speaks so she's just like from all over and uh she's a fun she's fun and funny and she's funny to she's fun to be funny around is she on how neil feel yeah she's on how neil feel that's the name of the so how often you guys do it once a week oh that's cool yeah where do you do it do it in my literally in my bedroom oh nice yeah beautiful because it's it's not that's the only space we have that's cool but it's like you know it works how many have you done so far? Four. Okay, cool. Isn't that nice? The beginning of a podcast?

Yeah. That's nice. You can see what it becomes. You're like, low expectations. You'll be like, yeah, we're still starting out. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Have you done any at the store?

No, I literally haven't done any, I don't think. Maybe I did one in the basement once. It's a nice little spot, man. It is. Yeah. It's cool. It once it's a nice little spot man that it is yeah it's cool it is kind of a cocoon yeah it is it's it's the way they have it set up down there it's pretty badass and the fact that like wow we're doing a podcast at the comedy store it feels it feels kind of historical because that is the thing that brought that place back yeah podcast brought that place back from the brink and made it the thriving center of comedy i i think you can all agree that is the center of comedy in the known universe 100 100 yeah and that podcast even like robbie from netflix is like podcasts are like the indicator of

streams like you know it's it's pretty direct yeah the correlation and i don't know what tom would be more popular from netflix or the podcast they're both pretty fucking yeah like it seems like one and one a like in terms of he's murdering it right now yeah his podcast has rabid fans like whenever they do these garth brooks things they oh my god garth brooks is haunted he doesn't know what to do he's so trapped by your mom's house fans. Yeah. They just won't stop with the memes and the deep fakes with Tom's face over Garth Brooks' body. I DM'd the deep fake guy.

Yeah? Yeah. Because I was like, is it hard? Because it's terrifying. Someone said- Jamie did it. Jamie used the software to make one with me with Trump's head. Was it easy?

Yes. Fuck. Very easy. I was talking to somebody about it, and they said, it bums me out in the way death used to bum me out when I was a little kid. I was like, wow. Wow. But I know what he means.

It's just like unfathomable, Like, oh, this is not good. This is not good. Chum, the one you made. Check this out. Look at this. He said China is, quote, not competition for us, for the U.S. Look at this. Are you talking about which vice president?

I'm sorry, former Vice President Biden. I apologize. The current vice president is much more talented. He actually looks like Joey Diaz. Dude, that looks like me if I was fat And I had a crazy haircut That's me Everyone's competition I view everybody's competition

Yeah there he is Sometimes he does That's so good How long did it take for real? It's about I was teaching myself How to do it really So like

This version took I let it run overnight Because there's a little bit of What the machine learning Kind of thing is doing The longer you let that run The better it is Is what I've been learning so this was just my test of

like eight hours maybe six hours you could have multiples going at once like once you're once you're in the hopper the crazy thing is porn they're doing that with gals they're taking like you know i love to give you use the word gals twice like a fucking i love it this is a good time to bring this up because i just saw something today literally and it has to do with this and i don't know if this is real but this sounds it sounds scary and this is where someone's taking this technology into a weird place uh a lady like is a facebook post that's why i don't believe it but she said she was with her son and while she was out of her house her husband was called saying that her son was kidnapped and that he heard his son's voice saying like mommy help me

help me help me and to give him money and the dad was freaking out didn't know what to do did couldn't get a hold of him and for finally did after six minutes and she said they couldn't even convince the dad that that wasn't real like after hearing no i'm fine we're fine i'm with him but i don't know if this is even real because how they could do that at this with the capability now i'm not sure but they might be able to oh for sure they can do it yeah they can mod somebody's voice. I mean, if they can do it with faces, they can do it with audio. They did it with Tupac at the Coachella like five years ago.

The way he said Coachella is exactly how he would have said it. And they have that hologram that looks just like him, but like a little more jacked. Just a little more six-packy like he went to crossfit yeah yeah in heaven uh yeah that's i can i totally believe they can do the voice seven years ago for that one wow yeah they're so close now even if you go back and watch game of thrones like season one and what the wolves look like they look like shit really yeah they were they're shitty cgi wolves they're a little clunky but now they look amazing now it looks like a real fucking wolf what is this that's tupac look how jacked

he is do you have any idea how many sit-ups you have to do to have a stomach like that you got to be on that whiz khalifa it's also routine it's also you gotta not eat any starch right i mean any sugars of any kind you can't be fucking around with carbs carbs that would keep you from being really shredded i mean not all carbs but i mean either doing some a lot of fasting you got to do something to get your body fat down that low because it doesn't matter how many sit-ups you do right it's not gonna well sit-ups make your ab muscles bigger yeah and make them more defined i can see one of mine yeah you gotta lose weight the only way is you guys want to see that no i'm good it's so easy to get fat too i'm so amazed at how easy

i can get fat on a vacation like one week i gain 10 pounds if i go on a vacation and i just go drink and eat pasta 10 pounds in a week well that's like you're running such a small margin yeah in just in everyday life where it's like, yeah, if you, if you just eat, it's not a, I mean,

it's fairly massive, but it's not like, what do you think it is? 800 calories a day? No. The difference. The extra. I don't know.

Not with me, man. I go hard when I, when I eat on vacation, drink, drinking and eating like just the drinking. When I'm on vacation, I might drink four or five drinks a day. Maybe more every day.

Do you drink during the day if you're on vacation without your kids? No. No, no, not without my kids. But when my kids are there, I'm hammered. Yeah, you got to be. Yeah, I get that. No, but if I'm on vacation and I'm out, I might have a drink at the pool or at the beach or wherever I am.

And then at night, if I go to dinner, I might have two or three. So I might have four or five drinks every fucking day. That's not a normal day for me. So that shit's just piling up. Piling up. And what are you drinking? Whatever. Whatever.

What do you got? Yeah. If I'm on vacation, you know, I'm trying to get fucked up. I'm trying to have a good time. I'm doing it like it's my job and are you does your wife get drunk she'll get hammered well that's great not as much as me though i get more drunk than her that's fun yeah well yeah well if you don't know where to go and you can just walk to wherever you're supposed to be yeah yeah but uh 10 pounds later i'm like you fat fuck and i'm grabbing my sides when i can grab like a fistful of meat right where my love handles on like jesus christ well because it's so

like you fucked up and you just like have a thing that you have a handful of regret yeah it'd take a whole week to get everything back in line by the way that not that long i mean that's not a very long time compared to compared to most people like at your age fucking people people's metabolism takes them people get fat a little bit and then they're done yeah but i still do the same shit that i did when i was 21 like in terms of like the amount of working out i do yeah i still i'm still running hills and doing serious kettlebell workouts and martial arts every day stuff at least five days a week i'm doing something muscle shit every day or you do sometimes i'll do something every day i'll do multiple workouts in a day because i have a gym at home so i'll get up in the morning and lift and then i'll do yoga

and then i'll do something later i just you have to keep going when you're 50 years old like your body requires like you can't have too much slacking because when you slack if you get out of shape fuck man it's hard to get back in shape it's hard like your body is trying to die yeah it's not trying to put muscle on and up your vo2 max it's not interested in that it's interested in dying and gotta trick that and continuously working out to see kind of like yep you know i've been cranking the sauna up to 200 degrees because gabriella reese told me that laird hamilton puts his shit on 220 220 that's what she said right 220 which is you cook meat at 220 degrees that's like that's fucking hot and uh i was like there must be some sort of benefit in that so i'm like i'm gonna ramp my shit up from 180 to 200 and it made a big difference what and what's the

difference first of all it's way harder to do the difference between 160 and one like i was at a sauna this past weekend at a gym like a hotel gym it was a nice sauna but it was not hot enough it was like 160 ish and at that point that hot you're sweating and it's it's helping you're getting heat shock proteins it's good for your body reduces inflammation but not nearly as radically as when you hit 200 200 is fucking hard to do like you are the first of all the wood in the sauna that you're sitting on is hot as fuck you need your sweat to cool off the wood because the wood is like a plank like a cedar plank that you're cooking a filet of salmon on that's what the wood gets like it's hot how long can you stay in it 20 minutes and those last five minutes are rough and how do you deal with the

pain whatever the like you can't you don't want to move right yeah so are you just like still the last five minutes i get up and i start walking around actually i feel like i have more of a hard time sitting still in the last five minutes so like uh yeah i would think you have to yeah i distract myself by stretching and moving are you wearing flip-flops or that they would melt no yeah they probably get well you know what works though surprisingly airpods those fucking things don't die out in 200 your phone would be dead as fuck yeah but airpods keep going so if i put my phone just outside the door yeah i put airpods on i could listen to music do you think they're hot to the touch yeah they're hot i feel them but they're not breaking down they don't they they hang in

there at 200 degrees good for you yeah they're good and and you feel it markedly different yeah you feel good when you get out of there man like all your little aches and pains feel like they get a big bump like a big reduction in the aches and pains and that's and most of little aches and pains feel like they get a big bump, like a big reduction in the aches and pains. And most of your aches and pains are age and working out? Yeah, yeah. Just inflammation in general. Hey, what age would you be pissed if you died at? 60, would you be pissed?

Do you know what I mean by pissed? Like, fucking fuck you i fucking did all the right shit yeah i don't know man you know i just heard john singleton he died at 51 yeah you know luke perry died at 51 or 52 stroke both those guys like fucking that's me that's this age stroke william stevenson even i mean he was not in good shape but like he wasn't old no no yeah that one's like how old was keith when he had his stroke 50 fuck yeah like at what point would you be like feel ripped off probably right now so 60 you would be like the shit out of this body though it's amazing this thing works as good as it

does you know if i think about my body's like a car that i've been do you still feel like you're beating the shit out of it or you feel like the jiu-jitsu stuff was beating the shit out of it well i still do that though but i i went running in the hills yesterday hard fucking workout yesterday how far two miles but it's super steep yeah it's like one one stretch is more than a it's 200 yards straight up and it's fucking hard it's a hard sprint the dog runs ahead and i'm trying to keep up with them it's yeah but you get to the top of these really steep hills man your legs are on fire your lungs are killing you but man it makes a difference but it's also are you beating the shit out of your body or are you just doing it i'm strength right i'm doing it right but i am i am putting a

lot of pressure on the joints i'm putting a lot of pressure on the muscles you know it's not simple it's not like doing yoga every day i'm doing some pretty heavy duty stuff but i feel like um if you do it smart and you warm up a lot and you stretch, and I've been pretty diligent about recovery, sauna in a big way, but also I've been getting trigger point muscle release therapy, which is like really hardcore, brutal massage that you literally want to cry. Like this kind of thing? Yeah, but like elbows. This lady, she fucking puts her elbow in the back of my neck,

and you're like, ah! But it makes a big difference, man. All that stuff, cryotherapy, all that stuff, everything's got a little place. It helps. But the main thing is consistency. Like you can't take months off. You can't take weeks off. You can't just eat like, it'll slip away.

Your body wants to do what it's been doing. Yeah. Like your spirit, whatever, like whether it's like, you know, whatever the laws, the body in motion stays in motion. But it just does, it's gonna, like sugar, same thing. Eat sugar and you're like, we gotta get more sugar. Don't eat it and four days later you're like, eh, I'm good. I feel like variety is really critical too. later you're like man i feel like variety is really critical too like i'll make sure that i get at least one or two days of yoga and at least one or two days of running at least one or two

days of lifting at least one or two days of martial arts like do a bunch of different shit mix it all up together because if i don't mix it all up together then there's like two just too much repetitive stress possibility like if i'm just running every day i'm not i don't think that's wise and you you why don't you do interval training with running i do sometimes okay yeah i do i do a bunch of different shit i mean sometimes i just do hill sprints and then i i slowly go down the hill i wait till my heart rate gets below 140 and then i sprint back up the hill again you know i mix it up but the the key is consistency no matter what you're doing whether it's yoga or running you got to do something almost every day yeah i don't do some every day but i try to

do like i got a treadmill and i'm now i have a bow flex i'm proud to say i'm a proud owner of a bow you're the last guy to buy one i know about to go out of business but they go we just got a fucking order from i'm from 1988 bro yeah my my ex-girlfriend's roommate had a bow flex i remember using this going why in the fuck it's big actually like it's like it's takes up a lot of space i didn't even put yeah you're right but the bow bro come on they don't that only that's when it yeah it does have like a wing it is a winged bird. Does it work? Yeah. Yes. You got a good workout?

I'm getting my gains, bro. I still have like dumbbells and bands. I tell people if you really want to work out at home, all you need is a chin-up bar. Everything else you can do on the ground. You can do bodyweight exercises. You can do plenty of work. I got to say, I don't even think you need a chin-up bar. I mean, again, you know 10 times more than I know,

but I'm saying, like, what are you getting from a chin-up bar that you can't get from a push-up or a dip? Pull-ups. But I'm saying it's all this, right? You're getting your back. You're getting your back. You're not getting your back much. You're getting a little bit if you do Hindu push-ups

where you swoop down and elevate and then come back up. You're getting a little bit of your back, but you're really getting your back if you're hanging on to a chin-up bar and you're using your whole body weight, that's what you want. That is an amazing body weight exercise. I don't work my back out very much. Am I fucking myself?

Yeah, for sure. You have to strengthen that bitch to keep the stability in your spinal column. You want meat. You want that to be armored. That's very big. I have several machines out there that are just designed to keep my back strong and you just think it's good it's best practice yeah man i do that almost as much as any other kind of exercise i do a reverse hyper i do a

whole series the reverse hyper machine and the the glutes the glute machine where you you know i cannot believe how hard glutes are like it's the hardest that's the one afterward i'm like how i'm gonna fucking throw up it's the fucking worst and you have to even like i was talking to a trainer and she was like well you need to like activate your glutes and then part of me is like i don't even know what you're talking about and then the more research it's like our glutes are dead as like normal people we don't use our glutes and they are literally atrophied that's why women get so disgusted by a guy's flat ass they're like this motherfucker doesn't even activate his glutes no but dude you want to

run ton of shit yeah you have to do a ton of shit just to, and she's like, you would take, it would take you a couple months to even just get them activated. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking. I just thought it was some trainer shit. And it's, you have to like turn them on. Yeah. Like you have to like do, like I do a ton of shit. I don't even know if I'm doing it right.

Do you have to get fired up? Do you have a trainer? You got to get a trainer. I should get a trainer. Come on, man. Yeah. You got cash. Yeah.

Get yourself a trainer, Neil Brennan. Yeah, I should should Plus it's good Because you have to Make Is this your Bowflex No I wish That's the mirror Look if you think

I didn't almost buy this You're out of your mind We're working on magnets It's like magnet Waiting Wait Something or other I've been seeing this online recently

I was curious if you've ever Heard of it or know If it works Well It's got two cords How much resistance That's what I'm The resistance is all Internally of it or know if it works well. It's got two cords. How much resistance? That's what I'm wondering. The resistance is all internally done just by magnet pressure that you set.

Well, what's the maximum amount of resistance though? Because I don't know if you know this, but I'm jacked. No. Yeah, I heard. How much? 148 pounds? It's just in the middle. I think you're probably 200 plus pounds.

I think 148 will take care of most people. Yeah. And if you're just doing cables, so 148 on each side? Is that what it is? I don't know, literally. It's new, and I was just curious if you had seen anything. No. You guys are talking about this.

That looks badass. So the mirror is showing you your form? Your form versus video. It's like a screen. Form versus like, are you doing it correctly? Oh, look at that. And they tell you what to do and it goes up and down and it fits on the wall is that a gimmick is there any reviews of that

it's way it's it's like brand new i don't even know uh the reviews are all pretty strong this is like as you're saying it all comes down to are you gonna do it yeah if you do it every day it's fucking great right you just most people won't do it every day yep they just because it's uh you gotta write it down just like how you every day i brush my teeth yeah so do that too but it takes longer i meditate twice a day it's fucking twice a day yeah really 20 20 each wow tm interesting. So how does that work? What do you do? Sit down, set the timer for 20, and close my eyes and repeat the mantra. What's your mantra?

I can't tell you, bro. Suck a cock. Suck a cock. Suck a cock. Suck a cock. Suck a cock. And I think it works. I think I need less sleep as a result. Really?

Since I've started, I started like a year and a half ago and I've needed significantly less sleep from before. And I don't know, again, because it's impossible to know what, you know, right.

What's doing what, but what are the benefits in terms of like clarity and stuff? I don't, again, I don't know. I think they're good, but I, I can't say like, well, I was writing 4.3 jokes a month before. And now I read 4.8. Like, I don't, again, I don't know. I think they're good, but I can't say like, well, I was writing 4.3 jokes a month before,

and now I wrote 4.8. Like, I don't, there's no direct correlation. I am happy with my output, but like, mm. Isn't that funny that like to an average person, they'd be like, wait, wait, wait, 4.3. You're joking, right? No, no. If I get four great jokes a month, that's an amazing month. Yeah.

Well, it's like that. I was going to bring it up when, that's an amazing month. Yeah. Well, it's like that. I was going to bring it up when you were talking about deer hunting. Yeah. Right. Similar. Yeah. If you see the special, thought of it all at once on the special. You had a great line about writing and that like writing in a notebook or on your phone

that it's like a net to catch ideas. Yeah. That really is like i thought about that like that is a great way to put it yeah like here put throw this in the put it on the thing and like and then you can look back you ever have an idea write it down and then three days later looking you're like that's fucking funny yeah yeah you're funny well that's why you got to throw a lot of shit against the wall i have pages and pages of stuff that i review like late night rambles that i review like late night rambles that

i label them late night rambles because i write a lot of times at night after the store so i'm by yourself yeah yeah everyone's asleep i'm high i just sit in front of the computer and is it like you have a germ from the day i have sometimes something but i have one hour that i have to write so one hour in front of that computer and i give myself that one hour and then after that i can watch youtube videos whatever you want but i have to get that one hour in and man there's been many times where i'm sitting there staring at that fucking computer for 20 minutes and then and then i got an idea like oh my god there's something and then the next day i do that on stage, boom, it gets a laugh. I'm like, fuck yeah. That reward for the tediousness. Just getting through the sitting in front, staring at the blank screen, staring at some fucking weird notes.

You're not even sure if they mean anything. Trying to find some old shit where there's just a spark of an ember that can blow on and turn into a fire. Or like I had a joke that i was trying and i was like i know it's good i just have to come up with the right thing yeah and then i tried a couple then first couple times you fuck it up you don't say it right it's so it is the td and the mild embarrassment of just like trying and failing but uh but having an idea writing it down doing it on stage is the to me the most rewarding thing i can think of it's one of the most rewarding things in all of life yeah i mean honestly and i don't say that like i just mean

like living a life that is the thing and it's not that's the one that's not really about women or not about that's more like spiritual yeah it's like about like i don't know yeah and and like you it goes through the your your filter yeah and you're like no one ever thought of that right no one fucking ever thought of that right right, right, right. Fuck, that's fucking crazy. Those are the best ones. You're like, how did I catch this? You're like, how? What? Thank you.

Thank you. Earth. How often do you write on stage? How often do you ad lib on stage? Very rarely. Really? Interesting. You see I come up with my sheets.

Yep, yep, yep. But I have a new joke show every Tuesday in Santa Monica, and then so I'll go up and do as much new shoes I have and mix it in with my, I mean, you know that when you have a punk, then you'll put like, I can do it. I can put that part in there.

So you kind of have to do some old jokes that like fit in the new part. Yeah. Um, and, but my, I'm like, I'm, I usually am like,

if I write four jokes, one of them will work. Yeah. Like, and I just my, I'm like, I'm, I usually am like, if I write four jokes, one of them will work. Yeah. Like, and I just like, yep. Yeah. All right. Four jokes. One of them will have some.

And then sometimes the other ones you're like, man, I don't know if you're alive or not. I got to stare at you for a little bit. I got to try to figure out a way to bring you to life. Yeah. This might be something there. I may be missing it on the first pass. Set it aside. Or you ever have a premise and

years later you'll figure it out years later a decade yeah yeah and you're like oh fuck and you just know how to do it now yeah maybe you have a bit that you did that taught you about something else or some other aspect of writing a bit yeah and you couldn't explain it to any you couldn't explain it to someone who doesn't do it no like. Like, you can't, it's kind of not, I mean, maybe athletes a little bit, where it's like they figure the game out in a different way. But it's so private, and it's so, like, and that's the thing, I was talking to somebody about this,

like, how many funny people are there in the world? There's a lot of funny people, but how many of them are funny stand-up funny yeah they could just go on stage and make a room full of people laugh that's a hard that's a hard couple hundred if you're being generous if you're gonna be really generous like how many real legit professional comedians that you and i respect yeah maybe 200 yeah and there's seven billion people in the world and like that's the rare and as much as comedy is like deified in ways that are sort of goofy now it's still like no this is all we do everything it's fucking interesting it's like we're and especially now the way the culture is like we're the only

people speaking freely in public or at least in an organized way in this this format as well podcast and stand-up those are the only two things yeah i mean everything else right now is compromised it seems like yeah and then everybody else feels at work you can't really talk freely yeah at home in relationships there's like and it's not like we're just talking extemporaneously like i don't even know where i'm going but i don't fucking know what's gonna happen at the end of this sense but uh but that and that's the thing that's so riveting about it it's like is there no one else is doing it and there's only a few hundred people that can do it well yeah it's crazy and it's also riveting too like the the creation of like these these little things that you come up with if you keep going eventually there'll be a special eventually it'll be something

you actually can record yeah and there's like these this thought like i'm on to something i've got this i'm piecing this little puzzle together and not even knowing someone said like so what do you how do you come up with it i'm just like i don't even know what i mean when i start and then i write the jokes i'm like oh i see what i was doing yeah or going through do you sometimes rewrite a bit like write a bit and then rewrite it from a different angle uh i mean there's obviously like threads of like like you just do the inverse sometimes i take a bit when it's already done and i say okay let me put that aside i know it's done i know it works let me approach the the subject from a completely different angle now yeah let me approach the

subject as a hater well couldn't you do you end up probably doing both of them right like a lot of your feminism shit yeah the thing you were closing with felt like you'd written half and then we're like well yeah yeah yeah and now my own rebuttal well i wanted to rebut myself yeah and i also wanted to shit on myself so hard that by the time i got to shitting on the feminists like it worked yeah well that's another thing where it's like if you couch you can say anything yeah as long as you preface it with like i'm not a monster just know that i'm not a monster of course but but some of these bitches are or some of these whoever's are like i'm not a total piece of shit but let's talk about that yeah that's the the i'm thankful that i just thought of a another like frame for a for a like i did the three mics thing no i did it for netflix so i thought of that frame as like three microphones on stage and i just thought of a

another it's not like a structural thing but it's a way to do a show and my first thought was fucking thank god meaning you don't want to be like you don't want to do a a premisey show every time because i did three mics then i did a half hour on netflix new year's day the comedians of the world thing that delia and swartzen did too and uh and now i'm like i would like to do a kind of not one-man show we think it's not a maudlin version but like a way to do jokes that are more it's like jokes but also if you can thread something else in it it's like do you see that there was a girl on silent live i think it was halsey who sang a song and fucking painted

at the same time she painted a painting during the song and i was like wow wow see if you can bring it up because it's like what was the song I can't play it we'll get kicked off it was the second song on Saturday Night Live yeah if we play it

we'll definitely get the boot YouTube is brutal with their copyright shit it's brutal I mean good and bad well it's just very it's good and bad

yeah but it's very easy for someone to claim copyright off of just you play a clip and next thing you know your video gets taken down um you can't stream so a part of me is like you know is it right here so she's singing she's singing and she's hot and by the way great looking yeah okay she's got a lot going on and she's barefoot yeah she's barefoot oh i mean is it amazing no but it's fucking amazing for singing to me yeah it's better than i can do not singing i bet she's uh

quite a character i don't that felt loaded that setup felt loaded joe um yeah so like i thought of another premise so i'm excited about that that's awesome when do you think you're gonna film if you well i got a like i got a i have i've kind of written it out but like i'm gonna probably do it like in new york like i did three mics where i did it like sort of off broadway and okay so when you do something like that will you do like a long run and then film at the end of the run yeah i basically did three mics i did for like two months four nights a week so uh and you did it all in New York? Yeah.

Oh, cool. And then. Where'd you do it? Some theater, like on the lower east side where Burbigley does his. And it was cool. It's cool to just like have to do an hour every night. It's a cool, like, oh, I'm going to do an hour. And I'm in a town.

I'm in the same town. That is cool. And I'm doing an hour every night. And you're doing essentially like a play almost yeah like it was an emotional

there was a there was a like an emotional fucking I talk about emotional shit this will be less emotional it'll be less wrenching emotionally

people saw it three months like it's fucking pretty gut wrenching but uh but this will be less gut wrenching but you have a premise that's exciting to you yeah which is fucking you know that's like fucking excellent

and it's also the only thing that like it's like well you're gonna make money i don't know i don't care it doesn't matter it's like not even a consideration yeah it seems like that's you're wasting your time thinking about that because all that really matters is do you enjoy doing it? Does the audience enjoy it? All that other stuff comes out of that, right? Yes. And if you enjoy it, they're probably going to enjoy it too. Yeah, and even the thing where people go like, so what are you doing?

And you're like, you can say you're doing the podcast or you have UFC stuff that go like. Oh, you have to have something that you're working on. I'm doing an hour comedy special for a huge streaming service that's going to broadcast fucking everywhere in the world. What are you doing? That's it? Yeah. That's how you're doing? No, but that's how they, and you're like, this is, what I'm doing is fucking, it doesn't, it's not time consuming visibly day to day, but like it's consuming emotional like thinking about it what's your take on what's going on with louis like what he's trying to do with uh stopping people from

quoting his bits and the quoting i mean i think he's just trying to stop people from writing yeah which was his own fault because he just didn't have the bag he didn't have the underback like he could have and was like, eh, it'll be fine. Yeah. What's the worst that could happen? What? Louie. So now he's doing everything.

He's got the yonder bags. He's doing small clubs. Yeah. And he also has a sign that he puts up saying that if you leak any of the material that they have legal repercussions. Good. Yeah. I mean, why should, why why should it's a spoiler it's like

it's like a fucking but it's worse than a spoiler yeah it is worse than a spoiler because every every joke is its own movie right it's got its own little surprise yeah to exaggerate about it but it's like yeah it's a huge it's a it's a that's a huge problem and it's also it goes to that 11 year old girl thing where it's like louis said this and then what he did was that yeah when you have 11 year old daughters man it's like you get it okay oh now i see how people are thinking thinking like little kids and what's the how would you describe it like sort of like simplistic yeah looking for something to be naughty someone do something bad oh what did he do what did she do what are they doing well we'll tell you right after the break and you're like oh i can't wait yeah uh but i don't i mean louie's a hilarious dude and and i hope i i'm interested to see what happens i think he's going

to come out with a motherfucker of an hour that's what i think i think he's gonna he's constantly touring he's on the road all the time doing this i know he's not doing it just for money because he's only doing these little tiny places yeah he's doing zany's in chicago right now or zany's in nashville right now he's gonna come out with a motherfucker of a special and re-cement his position and i think there's gonna be people that are still mad at him no matter what i don't matter i don't think that you can please most of the people that are mad at him no meaning and i don't i just think it's like they're not reasonable they it's more fun to not forgive them yeah it's more it feels better to not forgive him. Yeah, it's ideological.

It feels better to not forgive him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck him. Yeah, I get it. I get their perspective. But for everybody else, we're going to get treated to a monster hour. That's what I think.

I hope. When he's all done, I think it's probably going to be his best hour ever. I listened to the leaked one. Yeah, it was good. Yeah, it was good. It was 10 months out, man. Yeah. No comedy at all for 10 months and

then he starts doing it again and there's you know some bits in there that would have been great if they didn't get leaked the thing about what are you gonna do cancel my birthday is so fucking funny it's it's like yeah he's so fucking funny um yeah yeah like i you know he's a he's a fucking hilarious dude yeah that's the front of the line i mean when it comes to comedy and political correctness and the pushback that's the front of the line for the pushback is stand-up like nightclub stand-up the stuff that you and I both do, we say a bunch of fucked up things that happen to also be funny and you're doing it in front of live crowds.

I said on Stays of the Night, they're going to a strip club and complaining about cellulite. That's what it feels like. It's like, what are you? This is, we say a ton of shit. Some of it doesn't work. Some of it doesn't work

because it doesn't cross the comedy barrier. Some of it doesn't work. Some of it doesn't work because it doesn't cross the comedy barrier. Some of it doesn't work because it's ideologically fucked up, but you don't know it until you say it. It's like even the funny, many great bits that you love are fucked up to someone. Sure. To someone. Or you have to figure out a way to make them work. Like Chris Rock's bit about there's a difference between black people and the n-word yeah that bit he said bombed oh yeah a long time before he figured out how to make it work shortly before he did it on his on his hcl show it's crazy yeah

crazy um it's great but he knew he's like god damn it there's something in this yeah uh and and also it is fucked up it is a fucked up like it's fucked up you can weaponize that joke sure a lot of white people did right like a lot of racist white people like i told you i've been saying that in my car for years um and that's exactly but at the same time you can't worry about that like i was talking to uh some i did a thing on the podcast where I was saying like, I don't understand the problem with Jordan Peterson. And you and I have talked about this at the club. And then people email me and they said, well, people use Jordan, people, right wing people use him as an example of did it.

I'm like, that's not his problem. And he promotes,'s and he promotes someone said he promotes an all meat diet no he doesn't he said he does it but he didn't promote it he didn't make a commercial about the shit you can't worry about how someone takes again this goes to a point it's how someone uh interprets your art you just can't any interpretation exactly and also by the way then throw away taxi driver and uh and uh uh the salinger book the catching the ride because that's responsible for killing lennon shooting reagan like like it's just like okay well so these fucking dummies use it as their thing.

Right. So now I can't enjoy it? No. Like, dude, go fuck yourself. Yeah, there's too many interpretations. There's too many perspectives. There's too many people. You just have to be a reasonable person, be nice, do your shit, do your best.

And, you know, look, we work together all the time, man. People are laughing. Yeah. People are having a good time. Yeah. Like, and it's not, it's also, man. People are laughing. Yeah. People are having a good time. Yeah. And it's also like, what's your intention? Yeah. Our intention is to create, right?

Our intention is to come up with funny things. And like me, as a person who enjoys stand-up, I like sitting in the back of the OR and watching someone kill. I fucking love it. It's the best. I told somebody, like, I'm'm a gym rat but for comedy clubs yeah yeah i've been seeing you for 27 years yeah just hanging out like me and chappelle were in vegas and some kid was like what are you he was a chef at uh this place yellowtail and and he was

just saying like being a chef you just fucking have to cook for 12 10 years 10 12 years just like it's hard and shitty i was like i've known him for 28 years he's been going to clubs for 33 years yeah like that's the only thing that matt it just makes sense yeah it's fair it's like it's an economy that you understand if the idea is good enough, you will get this response. And there's not really politics. There's preferences, but there's not like, oh, have him. Although the fact that you got banned from the store is hilarious. That is like from a movie.

Like, we'll ban. We have to ban one of them. And you won in the end as it were but um but it is a fair thing and it is like the only people as rock says we're like x-men where it's like they they're always mad at the x-men they're always mad at the x-men but like fucking you still like the x-men yeah you're mad you're you're mad at louis but fucking if he went on stage you know the motherfucker's crazy yes if he walked on stage they would stand up and and give him a standing ovation yes and there's also it's also

the it's almost that corporate thing where it's like if if um you know Chinese slaves are making phones. Did they make this one? Right. Like that, this one, like, whereas with Louis, it's like, this one guy

is responsible for all institutional sexism. It's like, no, he's not. He's a fucking, he just was a dumb, he just was dumb and he handled,

he was dumb from beginning to end. Yeah. And he'll tell you. About it. He'll tell you. He was fucked. He just fucked up and he handled he was dumb from beginning to end yeah and he'll tell you about it and he'll tell you yes he was fucked he just fucked up

and it was stupid but he doesn't have to take the fall you know forever whatever like he is valuable

yeah he's valuable he's valuable to our culture he creates a lot of I don't think of stand up this way where it's like you create joy for people like I never think of it that way but way where it's like you create joy for people like i never think

of it that way but he did create a lot of thought and joy and like yeah he's responsible for a lot of positive shit i mean that is what the art form is yeah you're literally changing a person's state and then i mean and as an audience member i still love it and that was uh that was a struggle for me early on because i was jealous like i'd see people doing well and i wasn't doing well like god i wish i was doing that i wish i wrote that joke yeah i wish i was doing that show i wish i was and then i realized like oh this is like totally unproductive like yeah the opposite of productive it's negative yeah it can be activating in terms of like if you turn it into well then work harder right well but the problem is like i wish i did that like that part of is no good or god why does he have to get this that part of his there's no positive to that but what is positive you watch

someone kill go god damn he's funny i gotta go to work i gotta yeah that's good but the hate part yeah like taking it out on him is like. It's a bad instinct. It's not. It's counterproductive. But it's really common. I think it's then 11 year old. It's that's your first. That's the easy reaction.

Like. Yes. Yes. The 11 year old reaction. And then it's like, okay, but what am I, what's underneath it? What's underneath it is like respect. I don't. And then there's

certain people that it's like i've never hated brian reagan right you know what i mean like it's too nice and also like there's everyone loves him yeah and he's fucking hilarious in a way that's just like i don't know this fucking dude this dude's funny he's so funny and so clean you could take your grandma to see him and never worry for a second like oh where's he going with this yeah grandma gets sensitive oh fuck i gotta get a drink yeah he he's just he's one of those rare cats like gaffigan that figured out a way to make clean justice sebastian too though oh yeah like sebastian i always forget he's clean and nate bargazzi's now like getting into that area where he's like clean southern accent like

it's a big it's like it's a good place to be but he's fucking so funny if you're naturally inclined to do that yeah yeah like if yeah if you're forcing yourself to it um but uh yeah I think that there's a ton of value in stand-up. I mean, it seems so obvious, but it's like... And I think Netflix must... There must be some metric in Netflix where they... At a certain point, they're losing a ton of programming, meaning all of their shit's licensed.

Disney's taken all their shit back in like a year or two. A lot of like, like all of these places are starting their own apps. So they're going to lose. And I think they realize like a lot of Netflix is stand up and documentaries. And I think there must be in terms of like, they can never monetize it in terms of like, if the Ali Wong special begat this much money, but if it costs them 500 grand to get ali wonks for a special including

product everything they made a lot of money you know what i mean like they and it's millions of people watched it and and like as well as she's fucking great so like they it's just a cool it's just the coolest thing i can imagine i agree like being a comedian it's the coolest thing in the world though man i mean that's that's that to have that appreciation and respect for something that you enjoy doing that is actually your your your your your it's your occupation i mean it's a beautiful thing we're really really fortunate yeah and the gifts that we get like a lot you know what i mean like and it's all for it's all from comedy yeah glasses shoes car everything you're doing yeah basically like every single thing is from just a personality

yeah and like creativity work grinding too i like grinding i really do it when i'm doing three four shows a night i get a kick out of it i'm like here we go this is how things get good work a joke out yeah the best that's how they come alive yeah i gotta wrap this up yeah brendan um tell people your podcast how you'll feel go find it with our friend bianca fucking uh i am excited that you're doing it with her yeah very cool yeah it's great we get good chemistry and um and it's itunes everywhere so go check it out it's just me it's great. We get good chemistry. And iTunes is everywhere. So go check it out. It's just me. It's like this, except... It's like this. Yeah, it's like this.

Yes, except there's a higher-pitched voice disagreeing with you. Not much higher, Joe. Not much. Yeah, it's kind of high, right? All right, bye, everybody. Bye, everybody. Thank you.