The Joe Rogan Experience - #130 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: August 16, 2011

Joe sits down with Duncan Trussell.

I don't know what a country try is, but goddamn I wish I had it in me. I wish I had some country work ethic. You know, that's dance or something, you know? Country work ethic? Fuck yeah. People talk about a guy that's got a country work ethic, automatically, you know. You mean a man. You want to admire him, yeah.

You want to admire some dude who can just shut his fucking mouth and throw some hay around. That's right. There's something about that that's admirable. Right? Isn't it? Sure. It's amazing. It's like some Wild West type movie shit.

Yeah. That seems like a great life. A guy who gets up early in the morning and just fucking milks cows. Yeah. Until he can't walk anymore. Yeah. At the end of the day, he goes to sleep. Something admirable about that.

Have you ever found an udder, Joe? Yes, I think I have on Fairfactor. Pretty sure. A goat one. I think I had to squeeze it. I don't know if I did it. I might be imagining this. It was so long ago.

We had people suck on goat tits. They had to actually suck on it. It was very phallic. It was really weird to watch girls sucking on this tit, sucking milk off this. Tit looks like a black off this tit looks like a black dick it looks like a deformed like a short fat black dick and these girls have these girls were sucking on these things pulling milk out of guys were too you know it was it was wow so that goat is experiencing what is essentially a ufo abduction

its mind cannot process what's happening. Well, they're used to getting milked, apparently, because they milk them every day. You know, they squeeze on them. Yeah, but imagine having just like things feeding on you, and you don't know why or what they're doing.

It's so demonic, right? Trapped in a cage. Right? Attached by a collar. i think they were attached by a chain trying to make sense i mean they must in some way be trying to process what's happening oh and you know what they were elevated as well how weird was that they were up on these like platforms so that people could get at them with their mouth like they didn't have to go under them if i'm pretty sure if i remember that correctly i might be imagining that as well but i remember imagine i remember being there thinking how bizarre it was these people are sucking on these animal parts on tv you know it feels real if you ever feel cow one i just wonder if there's like a lot of gay farmers you

know what do you mean by it feels real like it feels like you're holding something that the only thing that you've ever felt like that before is your dick so it feels like your it just feels like it's like a flashlight for men women you mean a dildo yeah it is fucking strange that we drink the milk out of other animals so we make them make milk and then we drink it and we sell it and it's super common milk totally normal yeah we're just literally it's like we're parasites we're cow parasites we we extract some some of their fluid and we sell it and we add weird shit to it we put chocolate in it but apparently a lot of people believe that eating dairy is not healthy for the human body and that you'll feel better your energy levels will be better if you just cut dairy out of your life.

I've heard that from so many people. There's no way it can't be true. But milk is delicious and so is ice cream. And you can go fuck yourself. I like cheese. I'm not cutting dairy out. I just went to Paris. Did you?

Yeah. Did you, Duncan? And I got super stoned. How did you get stoned in Paris? I'll talk about it after the podcast. You don't want to mention it on the you? Yeah. Did you, Duncan? And I got super stoned. How'd you get stoned in Paris? I'll talk about it after the podcast. You don't want to mention it on the podcast? No. No, good move. Good move. Good move. Yeah. Just a friend out in Paris. Wow. That's nice. Lucky break. But. But weed is illegal in Paris? How illegal is it? I don't know. I was standing next to someone openly smoking hash in the subway. Really? Yeah. So I don't know how illegal. I don't think anyone, I don't know.

I have no idea. Wow. But I hadn't eaten there yet and I was super stoned and it was the first time I'd ever eaten like French cheese and I almost passed out because it tasted so good.

I swear to God, I got a momentary vertigo where I was like, I've been eating prison cafeteria food for my entire life. Because the food over there is better. Food in Paris is better. It comes straight from the countryside. Right now there are hundreds and thousands of dudes tweeting from all over the country going, why don't you fucking move there, you thug?

I would if I could. Really? I've always thought they had the worst food until he said this. Because I worked at a fringe restaurant once, and it was the worst food ever. Like the lobster bisque or something like that was the only thing that I thought was decent on the whole menu. What is it, like a low-end restaurant? It was a nice place. A French place?

Yeah. I'm not really familiar. I'm not as much of a food aficionado that I could tell you what French food really is. I know there's a place down the street from here I really like that's supposedly French because they have foie gras. That's the French way of saying it, right? It's duck liver. It's delicious. It's one of the—

It's rude as fuck. They mouth fuck this poor goose. It's terrible. I mean, they mouth fuck this goose and force feed him. It's kind of crazy. It's a horrible horrible thing but is it their liver no it's their liver mixed in with the shit they

spray into them and it like flavors the liver it flavors the liver so that it tastes really good but it's you know what here's the weird thing it's god I think this is going to piss everybody off if they're not already mad about me saying french food's better but it is better like it's defined better like what what

makes it better they just use more butters that's more like they don't give a hell of a i mean in france i've got to imagine it's it just on another level like it's more it's more intense it's like i'm trying to think of a great way to explain it. It's like the volume's turned up a little bit more on it. Just flavor-wise? Yeah, the flavor's better. It's just, it's like, the way they cook it, this place that we went to, they were cooking. We ordered this, like, rib platter for two.

And they cook this giant slab of meat on an open fire, like above a fireplace, and you can watch it in the restaurant. And the restaurant feels like something out of, like, the 1600s or something. And do you know why it feels like that? Because it's been around since the 1600s. Holy shit. It's, like, old. Everything there is old, old, old, old. So it's, like, you're in this place where so many human lives have happened.

And I'm not saying that's why the food tastes better but it's sure it's it's so good man it was it's really good well kind of me one one thing that i never appreciated i think before i watched started watching that no reservations show was that that food the preparation of food is really an art form it really truly is an art form i mean i kind of knew that abstractly, and I always, like, appreciated good chefs. But until I watched that show, you see that guy's passion, how he describes food, how addictive it is. You know, what's the word I'm looking for? Not addictive.

It's, like, it just gets you hungry. Like it, it starts like the way he describes things. Like I never get more hungry than when I'm watching that show. And it's like, you realize that people who are really bad-ass chefs, all these guys, they're all like, they all have ideas and, and, and thoughts and like a method to how they prepare things. And, and it's, it's so fascinating that it's just to maximize the impact that it has on the palate. And it's this strange art form, the art form of flavor. And I never really appreciated that until I watched that show. And then what you see, like a really well-prepared dish,

and you're like, wow, that guy just fucked me up with some crazy crab with squid ink pasta. And you realize that like these creations of textures and combinations of flavors, it really is a badass art form. I never appreciated it before. Yeah. Yeah. And you get this when you taste something really good like that, you get a glimpse at how there's like this spectrum of sense gratification. And some people in some parts of the world have figured out ways to hit the higher ends of it and so if you're you know only experiencing life at

this one spectrum of it then when you do like get something super high end like that it's really intense it's just a it's amazing to think people eat like that every day and also the weird thing about a lot of people in Paris, they fucking eat so much and they eat all day long. It seems like everything there is about eating or going out to eat with your friends. And it's this very serious ritual. Like when you go to a restaurant, it has the same energy of like,

you feel like you're in an air traffic control tower. People are eating in this serious way. It's like they're taking in an art or listening to a symphony in some of these restaurants. Not all of them, but some of them. It's intense. And there's like four waiters. They're dressed like super formally.

There's kids being trained since they were like 15 to be waiters. And so it's this cultural, it's embedded into their culture and they've really refined it. and it's really fucking cool. But French people, the ones we see, you don't see fat people there. They're eating all the fucking time, but most of them are thin. Most of them seem like they're in shape. It's really weird. How do they do that?

People say because there's no preservatives in the food. They eat pure food that comes straight from the countryside. That's what people say. I mean, I'd heard all this stuff, by the way. I'd heard it before I went. I read it. The food there is better. People are, like, thin.

People are living life. And I was extremely skeptical. I'm like, whatever. It's that Buddhist quote. I think I've said it on here. Some people will tell you this place is better than that place. This country is better than this country. There's smarter people here than there.

But I say to you, the whole world is on fire. Everywhere you go, people are consumed with the same fears and worries and it's all the same. The Buddha did not eat ribs in fucking Paris because that place is different. It's

better. It's fucking nice, man. The subway signs, they all look like the lettering, the font that they use in absinthe bottles. Wow. Yeah, it's fucking trippy and cool, and I'll shut up about Paris because I must sound like an asshole. But we,

you know about the catacombs of Paris? No, you were describing this to me. This is the most scariest shit I've ever seen in my life that I did not know existed. And there's more than one. Well, I saw photos once of a church but just explain to everybody what it is so underneath paris basically and i don't know the exact history behind this but what happened is i think because of the black plague everyone starts dying they're having these mass die-offs and they were they ran out of room in the cemeteries so they had to dig up all the bones from the cemeteries surrounding paris and they took them

under paris into these limestone quarries and created these things called ossuaries which are these open air crypts and someone has gone in basically so to get there you go down these winding steps they go down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down and down to a point where you start feeling like you're going crazy because you just keep seeing more steps and more steps and more steps and more steps and your mind starts saying you are going deep deep underground like we're talking like out of breath on the Stairmaster steps, like way down to the quarries under the city.

And you sort of walk around and then suddenly you come out into hallways of bones. Just yellowed old French bones that someone has stacked into uh patterns like crucifixes and it looks like the texas chainsaw massacre house when you go in the movie where they have bone sculptures everywhere it's like that they've just someone just took like a shitload of femurs and it's like i think i could make a crucifix out of this and like so there's a cross in the middle there's stacks of skulls they say there's nine million skeletons down there nine million so nine million lives are completely anonymous now no one knows who the fuck they are all you see is just there's no names there's not a wall listing who's down there it's just row upon row upon row of skulls and skulls and swear to God, it's got to be the worst job on the planet.

I passed this French kid whose job is to sit in a lawn chair down there and observe people to make sure they don't steal bones. And I walked by the kid and he was like pale and sick because it's damp down there. And it kind of sounded like he was talking to himself in French. He kind of seemed out of his mind. He just sits in bones all day. Best place to rape ever though, right? If you're going to rape and murder somebody, take them down there. That'd be perfect. Well, it gets weirder.

So, as it turns out, under Paris, the catacombs that the tourists are in, that's only a fraction of the catacombs. There is miles and miles and miles of winding catacombs. There is miles and miles and miles of winding catacombs. One of our waiters told us that people go down there

and they get lost and they find them down there and they've starved to death in the fucking catacombs. Oh my God. Fucking die. Are you crazy? You get lost.

You go down there in the dark, the flashlight runs out, no one's coming down there and you're fucking dead. Oh my God. It gets even weirder. These fucking French police, it's on the dark, the flashlight runs out, no one's coming down there, and you're fucking dead. Oh my god. It gets even weirder. These fucking French police, it's on the internet. Jesus! I'm just freaking out and thinking about dying that way.

Could you imagine your fucking flashlight goes out? And it's so far down, too. It's like a basement of earth. Just that last moment of light, and then nothing. Black how you start you would start hearing oh my god start hearing things hello you'd start seeing things you probably don't send people down there looking for folks no not some not some french mime who got depressed and decided

he was gonna go down and take a break in the catacomb. Oh, my God. So is it open to anyone? Yeah. The Parisian teenagers have their own entrances, and they bring turntables and speakers down there and have dance parties. Oh, my God. So fucking cool. We want to go down there and take ayahuasca with you, Joe. What the fuck? Could you imagine? What a terrific combination that would be.

Oh, yeah. You would die, right? Right, yeah. Instant death. Well Could you imagine? What a terrific combination that would be. Oh, yeah. You would die, right? Right, yeah. Instant death. Well, you would definitely never be sane again. Right. You'd probably just be absorbed with the energy of what it must have been like to see

millions of people just rot in front of you by some incurable disease that was inescapable. Yeah. And you had just had a hope that some of the genetics would carry on, that some people would be able to live through this shit. If you ever get serious about your life, that is a cure is to see nine million skulls. I'll never do that.

Come on, man. Does it really make you less serious about your life? It just lets you know that we're very fortunate that shit's going this way. We're very fortunate we were born in 2000. We're alive in 2011. We're very fortunate. You know, just a little while ago, stuff was terrible. Yeah.

You know, I joke around about being on stage. Like, when we were in Philly and I was going, do you know why the streets are so narrow around here? Because they were made by people riding fucking horses. Right. Like, wrap your head around that this city was designed by people who thought well we just need a place to put the horses this is where the horses are going to run like everybody got around in a fucking city on horses well there's a you know there there's this thing i just read about this uh famous i think he was an

obstetrician he died in a mental asylum it was on red. He died in a mental asylum. It was on Reddit. He died in a mental asylum. This was way back. I don't know the exact time, but it was when they still believed in the humors of the body. Their idea of the way the body worked was based on, you know, bloodletting. And they didn't know that they thought they were, they didn't know that flies came from fly eggs. They thought there was something called spontaneous generation generation where if you had the right elements in one place it would produce a fly they didn't know there were eggs so they had these really like fascinating ways of understanding the universe what you was I don't know the exact year if you look up spontaneous generation it'll pop up the year that they believe this but

there was a obstetrician who suddenly came up with this crazy idea. He thought that if doctors washed their hands between handling, like doing an autopsy or handling a dead body and delivering a baby, then maybe the mothers wouldn't die as much as they were dying of this infection called pleurosis so he's like we should start maybe washing our hands guys after you handle the uh rotting corpse and then put your hand in that lady's pussy why don't you wash your hands and um doctors were like you're a fucking lunatic you think washing you think if we wash our hands after we handle a corpse and touch a woman's open open dilated pussy that it's going to keep her from getting the infections they've been getting a gentleman's hands are always clean that's what the doctor said no joke so this guy uh tried all these experiments and like he dropped the death rate in one of these like

wards where women are giving birth to 1% where it was 30% in other places and he kept talking you've got to wash your hands you wash it with this kind of chemical mix and the people won't die you should wash your hands germs are getting into people but they didn't know i don't think they knew what germs were anyway the guy what did he think it was he didn't think it was germs just poison which is evil which it's true what they think it was i don't know the explanation but it's really interesting because you which it's true what they think it was i don't know the explanation but it's really interesting because you could it's kind of logical right you could see why they would think that but they couldn't accept the idea that there was microscopic things floating

around like even though i guess you could see them in a microscope for some reason they really wanted to deny this in the same way now when you talk about the idea that there might be extra dimensional aliens or interdimensional beings that you're seeing through the lens of a psychedelic, you tell that to anyone or most people and they're like, you are fucking crazy. You new age fucking idiot. Anyway, so the point is the guy died in an insane asylum for suggesting people wash their hands. That's how dirty everything was back then. That's how gross and infected everything was. He died in an insane asylum? Died out of his mind. And as you know, towards the end of his life, they said he got dementia. But I think it was just because he knew that he had

discovered this thing that he proved he could save so many lives and no one would listen to him. Could you imagine, dude, if you were an advanced human and you were stuck in an in advanced age that just refused to change could you imagine if you were a scientist from 2011 and all of a sudden you found yourself in the middle of spanish inquisition yeah you were where everyone was ridiculous and people were just killing people and it was just insanity you couldn't talk to anybody just religious fanaticism completely out of control. Yeah. And murder and all kinds of crazy shit was going on.

Could you imagine if that was your reality all of a sudden? Religious fanaticism, violent wars raging everywhere. Yeah. Totalitarian presidents, corporations running everything. Speaking of which, did you see this Michelle Bachman lady won the Iowa straw poll? Yeah. Totally. What the Iowa straw poll? Yeah. Totally. What the fuck is that?

Because she's a fucking dominatrix, and those Republican boys like to get spanked. We are living in fascinating times. I know. It's ripples like this. Like, when you hear things like this, to me, they're like, boom. Like, little ripples on your universe. Like, wake up pay attention there's a lot more dumb people than you think a lot more yeah there's some

painfully stupid people in this country a lot of them yeah tons of them yeah and they can't see that she's dumb because they're way dumber than her they're way dumber than her they have no idea she's dumb they think she's got a good message and they they don'tumber than her. They're way dumber than her. They have no idea she's dumb. They think she's got a good message. They don't mind her crazy eyes. They don't see the crazy eyes. They don't see the gay husband. They don't see him. He seems like a nice fella.

He's praying the gay away. Pray the gay away. We're going to pray the gay away. We're going to pray the gay away. Bunch of men holding hands. We're going to pray the gay away. In their underwear, hugging each other, shooting loads in their pants. This is a ridiculous institution.

You were going to have to learn how to shoot a load in front of men without wanting men. Why is it so hard for people to accept that people are gay? What do you give a fuck? They're gay. So what? Let them enjoy it. If it doesn't affect you, as long as they're not trying to fuck you, who cares?

I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense. You're going to pray it away? We're going to pray the gay away. Pray the gay away. But you've got to understand that relationship. Because I think about this relationship between Michelle Bachman

and her husband who's clearly gay clearly and he runs what is he's running that's a sex dungeon with Brian

that Brian impression is really not that far off I know he's so unbelievably gay sounding he seems gay he is not gay seems gay

we should say he seems gay I don't know that he's gay for sure but he might not be practicing I do know that he's running a sex dungeon. A sex dungeon. Yeah. You know he is? Absolutely.

He's been to it. That Pray Away the Gay Clinic. That's a sex dungeon? Yeah, for submissive gay guys. Submissive gay guys go in there. It's like a fetish it's a it's a it's like a fetish situation it's like these married gay guys go into this place where an expert says that he's going to use religion to help them overcome being gay the expert happens to seem like super gay like super like he should be on the front of his own float in a gay pride parade

holding sparklers and like i don't know wearing like leather uh bras or something that's okay her husband seems right but he's in a suit now and he's talking you in that stereotypical voice he's saying we can overcome this thing james i need you to tell me though every gay sexual encounter that you've ever had you know that's part of it you know okay i'll tell you you gotta hear it i'll tell you yeah once i blew 17 guys at a bear party in new jersey are they when this is happening? Is it dark? Yeah, it's dim. It's dim in there. There's candles of Jesus candles. I guarantee

that place is covered in pictures of the erotic Jesus, the six-pack Jesus. You ever seen those where Jesus is painted with a six-pack on the cross? Really? He's got like a Jersey Shore situation happening. For real? But he's getting crucified. Oh, there's tons's tons of because it's supposed to be starvation but we look at it as like wow that ain't jesus that's like hardcore crunches that's not starvation but what happens is

a lot of these people back when they were painting those pictures were just artists who were getting paid by the church and they needed to make money but they they liked the male form. And so they were painting like they were making Jesus hot. Sex Jesus, erotic Jesus. Wow. So true. Christianity, a lot of Christianity is fucking S-N-M. Think about it. The Son of God comes down to the world, and what happens?

He tells the truth, and he gets spanked and a crown of thorns and whipped with lashes and nailed to a fucking cross and everyone's into it. Like, did you see The Passion of the Christ? Yeah. That's an S&M movie, man. I've been to the S&M clubs. I know what it looks like.

They tie guys up to fucking crucifixes and whip them there all the time. That's why I like Black Jesus better, the whole theory of him. Yeah, what is the Black Jesus theory? Because Jesus was supposedly Sephardic, wasn't he? Wasn't that the idea? I don't know. He's hotter. He's hotter?

I think it goes from everything has to start from black, not white. I think it's fascinating that people want to lay claim to something. People want to, that black people would go, Jesus was black. Somehow or another, it makes your life, if Jesus was even real, but it makes your life today in 2011 like you can lay claim to that like we did that you know we did how annoying is that like you lay claim like italians like hey italians you know we built that we did that you know we did that like it's not it's not really we dude we're really in this group together here black jesus holding a baby black child wow let's find jesus.com well hey man that's just as likely black jesus is just as likely as white jesus yeah both of them are just so squirrely and so you're

just supposed to believe that the dude came back from the dead and that you know and that anybody would write that he would come back from the dead anything else that you would read from them would not be equally ridiculous you know Because we understand dead now. We understand that now. You're saying that we must discount all scientific knowledge ever just because there's an ancient book that says some stuff, and if you go along with it, you have to just assume that this was a one-time thing

and that this one time these amazing miraculous things that defy science happened and we just have to assume that these people who barely could write shit down were super accurate about it like it's ridiculous let's let's even think one step before that which is the religion that they've built around this thing that based on all scientific evidence is possibly a myth. The religion they based around this character, Jesus, is nowhere close to the things the character said in the book that they read. Jesus didn't walk around saying you need to go to church.

Here's an idea. Build a church. And every Sunday go to the church and sit down in an uncomfortable seat and read prayers pre-written from people that you barely understand and then give 10% of your income to this group of people and just trust that they're going to use it in the right way. In the New Testament, if you read this stuff, mostly the idea of the thing seems to be if you love the people around you as much as you can, and if you're tuned into God or the love force of the universe and you love that too, then you are going to have a great life. That seems to be the message. You don't need a priest. You don't need a church. You don't need anybody.

You don't have a priest. You don't need a church. You don't need anybody. You don't have to follow the rules of the time he was, you know, in Judaism, there are very strict rules about how you were supposed to live. And he was saying, we don't have to follow these rules. I don't have to do anything that you're saying. I have my own direct connection with a super intelligent, super abundance of the universe. And that's all I need. And so then they killed him. So you've got that. And then what builds up around it?

Fucking Michelle Bachman. Pray away the gay just like Jesus wanted. Jesus didn't want somebody sticking their tentacle in somebody's excretory tube. Jesus wanted people straight. Only fucking vaginas. The creator of the universe. It gives them a migraine headache to know on this planet people are sticking their fucking genitals into other people's assholes that's how does that get trans how does that get translated from basically uh the first hippie love each other tune into the

super intelligence it's really creepy and weird. Well, whenever you have some obscure, and I don't want to say obscure, but very difficult to put into modern words statement. Like whenever you read any chapters of the Bible, any passages, any things that people quote all the time, there's a lot of the stuff you'll read and you go, whoa, what exactly does that mean? Like what is that? You know, trying to back up and decipher that into modern language. What what was it originally? You know, I mean, we know it all came from ancient Hebrew and then they kind of take it from ancient Hebrew to Latin to Greek. Like, what the fuck was what was, you know, it's totally different language. What was the original meaning behind it well you've got like but you know i used to when i was in college take lsd and read the new testament and it was the most

awesome psychedelic thing ever because you're reading it and you're thinking like this no matter what this is it's shaped so much of society. These words shape so many people's lives. And so just from that alone, it's super psychedelic. But what did it come from? What's the original language? What's it based on? There's all these awesome ideas, you know, because there's a lot of books in the Gospels that didn't make it into the final cut

that are equally valid and are far more esoteric and have like really weird ideas. I've read stuff that it's based in like this form of religion called Gnosticism, which I don't know too much about. I've heard that it's like some weird desert cult called the Essenes, or that it's somehow the formulation of all these different desert mysticisms kind of merging into the, you know, they embodied it in the form of this person to transmit this bigger information about the idea that they're you know, we're all children of some super intelligence and that if we give up our Greed and selfishness and Love other people like we love ourselves

Then that would create like a, you know, if everyone did that, then we would be living on, this would be utopia. We would be in some kind of super communist, mystical, spiritual state where everyone's completely connected with each other. Like imagine really feeling about everyone around you the same way you feel about yourself. It means don't differentiate other people from your life. No more differentiation. We're all the same. We're all completely connected. We're all children of this universe. And so we should treat each other love. Yeah, that doesn't work with society, though. Unfortunately, like we would, there would have to be some gigantic event that got rid of, got rid of currency, or got rid of currency or got rid of the idea of competing for currency. Because as long as people are still competing, competing for job positions, competing their

company against other companies, as long as there's capitalism going on, that push for money, that push to make money, you're always going to get this same kind of douchey, cunty, chimp-like behavior. You know, it's a competition. It's obvious, way obvious, that most people are working way harder than is both healthy and is desirable. They're working, like, ridiculous hours and pushing harder than ever because they need more money.

They want more money. They need more money. It's like there's a drive, like a fucking wild machine behind it. and pushing harder than ever because they need more money. They want more money. They need more money. It's like there's a drive, like a fucking wild machine behind it. You know, as long as that's there, fuck, man. How are you going to get everybody to just have resources available? Are you going to trust people to work? Are you going to trust everyone to put in their share?

Like all of us are going to trust all of us? And what do we do when someone doesn't? If we're supposed to love them like we love ourselves are we just supposed to like let them just fuck everything up all around them and let them go into super sabotage spin out mode where they destroy everything in their vicinity and nobody stops them from doing that because that's like a spoiled child we've seen that before yeah that's the other crazy aspect of christianity is it's ultra pacifism it's like super pacifism and the message of the thing was supposed to be look this being that they're killing is the physical manifestation of the universe it could do it it could fight back it could shoot lasers out of its eyes. It's a superhero, but it's letting itself, I don't know, I'm calling Jesus a nit, whatever. He it's, it's letting, it's letting itself get killed to give a message. And the message is this,

there are some things that are more important than life. And if you want to get caught up in this dimension and you want to save your body, you want to try to save your body, go ahead. It's going to die no matter what you're dead meat.. It's like there's no way you're going to make it through this dimension. No one makes it out alive, whatever Jim Morrison said. No one gets out of this alive. We all die. So if you want to like focus and fixate on protecting yourself, fine. But the idea is like you're supposed to completely surrender to this energy. Right. And once you really make that move, which they say is an act of faith, which I mean – by the way, this is purely speculation.

I have not given my heart to Jesus. But I think about what would happen if you did just become completely – Everyone. Yeah. What would that be? I mean, obviously, it's not possible. Right. But why?

And who would make cars? And how would there be competition? How is there this – how would there be any form of capitalism the way we have it right now? How would our society, the monetary system, how would it be set up the way – it wouldn't be. It couldn't be. It's impossible. Well, not the way we have it right now? How would our society, the monetary system, how would it be set up the way it wouldn't be? It couldn't be. It's impossible. Well, not the way it is now, no. It's impossible. It couldn't exist. The church couldn't exist. Society couldn't exist.

So how would we revamp it? How would we put it all into perspective, put it all into order? How would we ensure that everyone follows along with it? Is that the next stage of evolution? Is the next stage of evolution the idea that people have gotten to a point technologically where we can start to join together as one thing again? You know what I'm saying? Like that there had to be a certain peak of competition to get us to a point where we have created some really boundary-dissolving technology. And when that point happens, then through that very technology, where we have created some really boundary-dissolving technology.

And when that point happens, then through that very technology, as in the Internet, people slowly start to assimilate to some level of understanding and awareness that wasn't previously achieved because there was this constant state of competition to try to get to that technological point and that's where you run into a problem because once you start getting to that state that you're talking about and i think a lot of people are we at it right now yeah we are right yeah and that's when you get to that state and suddenly you're in egypt because you're starting to understand about what's going on and

you're you're getting this information from the internet showing you what other people in other parts of the world how they're living the point is suddenly like a lot of shit starts seeming really like you we've been asked to believe a lot of stuff and kind of like you ask your kids to believe a lot of stuff when they're growing up and you do it to keep them safe you tell them these stories and you want them to believe it but eventually your kid knows that you know whatever story you told him about where the baby came from is coming from isn't completely real and your kid's going to start wanting to know the truth and then at that age you tell your kid the truth and it's uncomfortable or whatever you would tell them the truth but now it's it's like we still have kings we have kings and queens they're king they're still serious kings and you're expecting people to keep believing this king is any more special than anyone else okay you want me to keep buying

this thing about the king about how he gets to wear the throne and gets to have the giant fucking uh mansion that he lives in and all this property he lives in because he's a king and he's in the bloodline of some what what are you talking about we're all the same man i gotta keep playing this fucking masquerade party with you and believe you're a king how much longer do i have to do this because i'm hungry you know it's like that kind of stuff where people are like okay okay so you're a president oh i get it okay so i guess i'm supposed to believe that there's a government which is mostly just like what 120 old men in a room i'm supposed to believe they're the ones who know how to do everything and that system's the right way and it's like all that stuff starts

you know spreading where people like i don't know if i can believe the whole you're a cop i'm a person thing it's getting kind of hard for me i mean i believe it because you got a billy club and you're fucking beating my friend in a wheelchair to death. But I'm not sure if you really represent the real authority of the world. And so that kind of stuff starts emerging and emerging as people evolve. And the authority in the world is like, fuck, you got to believe the game. If you don't believe this fucking game, we don't know what to do. What are we going to do?

We can't just reformat everything all of a sudden i so do you think that law enforcement almost inhibits evolution by creating this culture where people are getting constantly in trouble with things yeah well you know what law enforcement a lot of law enforcement is it's delivery drivers for the prison industrial complex they deliver fucking bags of gold to the prisons, drop them off at the door, and they fucking make so much money. I think we need cops. We need cops. No question about it. Watch that Richard Pryor joke about, like, we need prisons.

Have you ever seen that? It's so funny. But we need – there are aspects and elements of society that need to be in a cage. Yes, absolutely. But, you know, you don't need to be in a cage for smoking pot. You don't need to be in a cage. Yes, absolutely. But you know, you don't need to be in a cage for smoking pot. You don't need to be in a cage for taking acid or taking mushrooms. You don't need to be in a cage because you told people that the military was using fucking military choppers to gun down reporters. And you had the balls to tell that to the world. That's no reason to put someone

in a cage. So it's like, at some point point a certain number of people realize okay this is like a kid's game this is a game of make-believe that went way too far and i don't feel like doing this game of make-believe anymore because it's destroying the planet so we've got to come up with a new game that works but how are you going to convince those 60 or 120 old fucking drooling men shitting their pants getting payoffs from the tobacco companies, writing bullshit laws without hesitation. How are you going to convince them? Like, you know what?

Do you guys mind going home? And we're going to get some young people in here because they understand the world. We do understand the world, but we don't understand the economic system. I'm sure some young people do. There's young people right now protesting economic system. Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm sure some young people do. There's young people right now protesting, listening, saying, I know, I understand it. Correct. Look, I know. I don't.

I don't understand it. All I understand is, like, that video. Did you see that video I sent you today? Did you watch that fucking thing? No, what did you send me? Oh, it's a Marine who is, like, you know, he starts off and kind of dramatically rips off his fucking medals. And he's like, I'm not going to do it anymore. And then he just starts going into graphic depictions

of the different innocent people he killed when he was in Iraq. Oh, my God. And how, like, the Marines act completely different when there's embedded within a reporter than they do. And how his... Now, is this real? I didn't investigate it.

I hope it's not real i hope it's it seemed very real he talked about how his squad commander whatever it's called said that they would he would congratulate them on their first kill and he said whichever one of you makes your first kill by stabbing someone to death i'm giving you four days leave. And like, it's like that kind of shit. Like, how are you going to convince those guys that, you know, we should all just love each other. It'd be terrible.

How do you stop it? You don't. You can't. There's no way to stop it. There's no way to stop it unless somebody invents something that I think would change the world, and I'd be glad to tell you what it is. What is it? A genetic scientist needs to figure out a way

to put LSD into the common cold so that any so that a psychedelic experience would spread like a virus through society. But the problem with it is you'd have to figure out a way to design it

so the tolerance is really huge so a person only gets it once. Oh, that's the problem with it. Who knows? Maybe there's a doctor out there. He's like, the problem with it is... I think there's several problems with that. Well, there's some other problems, I suppose.

It's not really up to you to decide whether people should be getting dosed. Are you trying to invent this right now in your house? Yeah, right. I'm not a chemist. I'm just throwing it out there. Oh my God, you threw it out there. You really did, you fuck. Yeah, way to go. Somebody might be actually thinking about this. Well, I mean

what, so look, here's the idea. So, okay, so let's just keep running things the way they're running. No, I don't think that's going on either, man. I think you're just not happy with the pace that things are accelerating to. I don't think that's going on either man i think you're you're just not happy with the pace that things are accelerating too i don't think you can genetically engineer it on your own or can you maybe that's what you're there for maybe the guy who does that that really is his purpose in the evolutionary chain yeah he was supposed to step in and just see a new leap

that others weren't willing to take and so he dragged everyone along and he was responsible for the next hiccup in evolution. Yeah. I just gave someone a manifesto. How about that? There's some fucking dude living in one of those loft apartments where you can drive your car up in an elevator and he's by himself right now carving his blade of his knife. Invest in tie dye and Hendrix now. Well, that's an interesting fucking idea that someone could engineer a virus that would induce a psychedelic state.

Yeah, or some kind of state. I mean, is that possible? I have no idea. I mean, yeah, it seems like if it could affect your body the way some things can, some colds can affect your body. They should be able to engineer something that should affect your brain. Something that is a byproduct. it creates a tryptamine well when you think about it man when you when you do mdma and the next day you you sort of feel like you came down from from a cold you sort of feel like you had a cold like so like your body was fighting something unless you just roll off

does that stuff work yeah it does work it doesn't really work though it's not like it doesn't completely bring you to 100%. I haven't done much. Well, I haven't done MDMA much or Molly or whatever it's called much. But I did it once without having that and then once with having it. And it was a totally big difference. There was no hangover at all like the next day. And it's just like you take it before you do it and after right before right before you go to bed roll on and roll off it's uh so you really didn't feel anything

anything funky no i mean you're going to probably have a hangover no matter what but i definitely felt it felt way better than the last time i did i hate that feeling so much i only did that stuff once because of that feeling it was too much that. That feeling was too terrible. I just felt, I was in a coffee shop the next day and I bought a magazine with me. I was sitting there drinking a cup of coffee, trying to read this magazine. I couldn't read. Couldn't focus. Couldn't focus on the words. Couldn't put my head into a paragraph. Couldn't do it. And I was like, oh, this is terrible. This is a terrible, terrible place for your brain to be. And I went on stage and I felt that it was like 80%. Even though I hit all the beats right, I did all my material correctly,

I felt like I was only like 80% right. Like my brain was just not capable of totally connecting to the material. I was, you know, like you know how it is when you're in the groove, when you're on stage, when you're totally connected to the material. You know how it is when you're in the groove, when you're on stage, when you're totally connected to the material. You know where the beats are. You feel it. You're in the jokes.

You're in there. You're totally in the moment, but sometimes not. And this time, I just could not force myself into it. I was saying everything correctly, but I couldn't quite keep up with it. I was like, this is terrible for your your brain i've never had that feeling before it's like a feeling of like a dullness like a dying battery you know yeah felt awful yeah i hate it it's not worth it but i did

learn a lot when i did it man boy i got a big lesson about insecurity. That's the thing that hit me the most, you know, is that, God, if everybody was like in some sort of a way, the way people are during an acid trip or an MDMA trip, it's like you never would have to worry about fights ever again. You would never have to worry about people being douchey to each other if somehow or another the brain can be engineered to operate at those rpms on a regular basis because now the idea is that you take this mdma you take ecstasy whatever the fuck it is and it it makes you high for a brief moment and then brings you down but what if the mind could sustain those levels of those chemicals on a regular basis i mean is that not possible why would anyone assume we could not evolve to that if we've come to this point from some shit throwing you know tree swinging little monkey people if that's what we used to be and we've come this far we can't take that other leap to have the levels of chemicals in our brains operate so that you would be like you were on

ecstasy all the time that would be the way to engineer a loving culture yeah because i did not feel stupid when i was on it which was very amazing that I could think very clearly. But I remember thinking, wow, how silly is are my insecurities? Imagine like another universe where instead of building an atomic bomb, Einstein or these scientists had come up with these theories and physics of a way to create like some kind of device that blasts pure love in the people so that when it goes off the city that it's in everyone in the city gets filled with like as though you are on the best ecstasy on the planet that level of love so you're at war with the country and instead of destroying them you're just blasting them with love chemicals so that there's no way

that they can fight. He's going to poison a big population of people with acid, aren't you? You keep setting yourself up as that guy. You're Johnny Appleseed. You're the water supply, man! You better guard your water! I think I actually said Johnny Appleseed

incorrectly, right? Have we ever discussed who Johnny Appleseed is on the podcast? Yeah, you didn't think it existed. What did he do again? He spread out apples throughout the Midwest. You would be the Johnny Appleseed is on the podcast. Yeah, you didn't think it existed. What did he do again? He spread out apples throughout the Midwest. You couldn't be, you would be the Johnny Appleseed of ecstasy. You know, I wouldn't, I think that would be a great, great claim to fame. But I'm not going to, like, I really obviously would never poison people if I, even if I had the opportunity.

But at some point, you know, drastic measures have to be taken. That's what I'm saying. But listen to what you're saying. You're saying that you're not comfortable with the speed at which evolution is happening. It's obvious that people are evolving, but you're not comfortable that people haven't reached your level yet. So your fucking solution is to engineer some way to poison them. Let me just say. Some way to dose them.

You're going to use them as guinea pigs. Let me tell you this. And I'm for it. I'm for it, too. It's not mine. Are you for it? I think if it was 100% safe. Really?

Yeah. But they would have to be all kids and black kids. Black kids. Well, no. Even if... Just kidding. I would not be a for it. You know, but what if it wasn't 100% safe?

What if it was 80% safe? Listen, man, you can't tell people they have to dig acid, all right? Some people are happy as fuck living a simple life, and that is their prerogative. This is a temporary experience, and just because you see some great depth into it doesn't mean you can impose those ideals on other people that love a simple life. There's people out there that genuinely like country music they like feeding animals and they like making fucking sweet potato pie and that's cool they're called my parents yeah i'm not i'm like you can't dose your parents but try tickling first i'm not here's the thing i'm not talking about like literally you it's never it's happen. I know, but it could.

I'm just saying. You have diagrams. At what point do you do what Anonymous is doing? At what point do you go from looking at the world and seeing some fucked up shit going down? At what point do you go

from talking about this shit going down to actively trying to fight against it? Did you see the Warren Buffett thing? No. Warren Buffett just wrote some big article on corporate taxes and why do I have to pay so little taxes? Why do all my super rich friends get to pay taxes? And he described in detail a bunch of crazy clauses that are in place that allow these guys to only have like 17 percent taxes. And especially people that make their money with money.

And, you know, there's all sorts of things that can be factored in. And because of that, they pay even less taxes. And he's like, this is crazy. Like, this is all engineered ridiculous. Like, why are you protecting the super rich? It's really, really fascinating. That's amazing. It's really fascinating because he stepped up and said and it uses the terms like my mega rich friends my super rich

friends you know he you know he really just kind of laid it all out it's fascinating so where you know when do we do something about it what do we do because you got to do something at some point but once you bring it down do we know who's going to build it back up no you don't have to you don't have to bring it down but at some point you i just heard this thing it's this guy that guy's rant on i don't even remember the show but it went viral and it's this guy steamed up about how republican or democrat it doesn't matter there's a system in place that is pulling the wealth of the nation into the overseas banking community or it was like really intense and it went viral um it went super viral but the the question is do we dose the

irs or not no at what point no at what point a bunch of bad trips they would have think about all the houses they took away math trips oh my god all the people where they just literally stole their money and they went poor and they couldn't fucking feed themselves but when do you do when do you say anyway this guy said we have a bot congress he said that congress is in the pocket of corporations whether this is true or not i don't know but i did read if you go to uh boehner's wikipedia page um it's spelled boner but boehner b-o-e-h-H-N-E-R. If you go to his Wikipedia page, it talks about one of the controversies around him was that there was a big vote coming up

against tobacco. And right before the vote happened, he went and passed out checks from big tobacco on the floor to all these senators. He passed it out publicly. And I't know why what this exactly was but so that guy's bought he's passing out checks from tobacco companies in our government like that guy's bought it's on wikipedia look it up and maybe someone can really explain to me why he did that or what what what's happened there so we have what's called a bot Congress.

We have our leaders. Many of them are in the pockets of the corporations. Their decisions aren't based on the will of the people. Their decisions are based on what's better for the corporations and the mega rich and fucking Warren Buffett just went out and talked about it. At what point do we as a people make that stop? When does it happen? Guess what? Democracy didn't work. Didn't work. They beat stop. When does it happen? Guess what? Democracy didn't work.

Didn't work. They beat it. They figured it out. Of course they figured it out. It's like the Rubik's Cube. You do it enough times, somebody's going to fucking figure out how to beat the Rubik's Cube. They figured it out. The fucking founding fathers talked about this very thing, the possibility of this kind of thing happening.

It happened. Now what do we do? What do you do? Do you sit and drink Starbucks and buy your fucking iPhone and fucking play video games and get on a podcast from time to time and whine? Or do you fucking do something? When do you do something?

That's what I want to know. When do people act? That's why I'm so fascinated with fucking Anonymous right now because they're acting. No matter what people say, they're just a bunch of 14-year-olds in the basement of their mom's house. I don't think so. They just fucking did a – they shut down train stations.

They're shutting shit down. They're like blasting foreign countries. Yeah, but that's one step away is Obama is going to go on television going, okay, just so you know, we're now considering these guys terrorists. What? That's all that's going to happen. And then these 14-year-olds that are in basements who are thinking they're doing a good job are now going, okay, now we're going to get in prison for 60 years and not federal crime. Okay, no, I'm not worth it. I'm going back to work. But here's the thing.

But that's all they need to do to stop. But for the rest of history, for the rest of history, if every member of whatever this mysterious weird group is gets arrested tomorrow for the rest of time they still will exist as an organization that was one of the first emergent uh revolutionary organizations in the technological age and to me that is amazing oh it's super amazing and i i completely support them but that they're just better watch out because i think that's coming i think they're doing it they're going to watch out because i think that's coming i think they're doing it they're going to be considered terrorists any second of course i mean our country considers anything that goes against their ideals terrorism to the point where it's obvious that certain

people aren't there insurgents those are insurgents what the fuck's an insurgent those are people who don't want you invading their country. They're not insurgents. You're going to call them an insurgent? Do you know how many fucking kids in Afghanistan died from drone attacks? They just released it. Like 168 kids dead from drone attacks. A lot of insurgents apparently don't understand why you got to blow up toddlers. So the question is, when do people... Could you fucking imagine if you were living over there?

If that's your roll of the dice, you're a fucking mountain goat herder in Afghanistan. And you literally are under the power of various warlords. You know, one city in the entire country, Kabul. Everything else is just warlords. Warlords, dude. Warlords. You know how they get the else is just warlords. Warlords, dude. Warlords. You know how they get the information from the warlords? They give them Viagra.

That's how they find out where the Taliban is. They give them Viagra. That's the number one move. That's amazing. Hopefully you didn't learn that on Cinemax after that. No, dude. I read that online. I read it online.

That's amazing. It's authenticated. It was on a major website. I don't remember where the fuck i read it online that's amazing it's authenticated it was on a major website i don't remember where the fuck i read it so what we know but it totally makes sense these old dudes they can't fuck anymore and they have all these they all have all these hoes like when you're a warlord you don't have one wife you got a bang of wives you got a gang of wives right yeah he's like 60 his dick doesn't work anymore and he's got these 20 bitches he's trying to hold down it's hard yeah it's not like you can order viagra when you live deep in the fucking deadly valley like they even knew about it right i bet the first time they ever dropped it on them

they're like get the fuck out of here wow a pill that makes your dick hard like what kind of geniuses are out there while i'm herding goats on a mountain somewhere. It's fucked up that we can use those drones in other countries that we're not even supposed to be at war with, too, like Pakistan. Just sneak a drone over there and shoot some shit. Alright, we're going to leave now. With Hellfire

Missiles. That's the craziest thing. They don't have the name like H256. No. Hellfire. Hellfire Missiles. Actually, Hellfires. No, Hellfire. Hellfires. Hellfire missiles. The fire to hell. Actually, maybe they do. Maybe the Hellfire is the nickname. Yeah, man.

I don't want angry aficionados to call up. It's so creepy, man. If you think about that stuff too much, God, especially if you, man, if you eat mushrooms and your brain decides to start thinking about the taliban oh god that's the worst you just i have rolled against the wall of my fucking apartment clutching my head with visions of bearded strangers strapping suicide bombs to their bodies and wandering into the streets to blow up other people when you really consider that this happens at this very second right now, there's two things happening.

There's a guy at fucking Halliburton who's screwing the top on a hellfire missile that no doubt will land in some playground in Afghanistan and incinerate some toddlers. And he's like, ah, almost off work. Only six more of these i gotta screw on there's that guy and then there's some guy in the middle east right now strapping a fucking belt around his waist and he's got a little timer or a phone and he's buttoning everything up and he knows that any second like in the next hour or two he's going to be hamburger meat all over some fucking cafe or hotel that's so weird we live in these are two insane people i and i frankly think one's a lot crazier than the other and it ain't the fucking

guy with a bomb belt it's the fucking weirdos like yeah just screwing the tops on missiles wonder where these are gonna go let's keep pushing them down the line boys i don't know where these are going to go. Who knows? I don't know. Cluster bombs. Here's another box of cluster bombs. Whoopsies.

Whoops. Ah, shit. I wonder why it malfunctioned like that. Hmm. Perhaps we should analyze the 413 chip. You just killed toddlers. Oh, yeah. Of course we did.

But I wonder what it is. Maybe the battery malfunctioned. The battery's malfunctioning in your heart, murderers. That's the thing. It's like, why are we doing this? What the fuck's malfunctioning in your heart murderers that's the thing it's like why are we doing this the fuck's going on that poppy field thing on the internet where you're talking about the soldiers standing in the poppy fields yet another thing not to listen to when you're fucking baked that'll send you spiraling into a paranoid episode quicker than seeing your grandmother die there's never been a more clear indication that they're in on it than soldiers guarding poppy fields.

I mean, you just got to, at a certain point in time, you got to go, wait, what? They had Geraldo Rivera, and he was interviewing one of the soldiers. He was like, yeah, well, we don't like it, but we have to guard the fields in order to get information from these people. And we have to let them live their way of life. What are you talking about, son? Are you really telling me you're letting people grow heroin and you guys are guarding it? But that's it. That's all. You don't have

any financial stake in it. We're taking American lives and they're over there with machine guns guarding poppy fields. For who? By who? Against who? Excuse me? What the fuck is going on? don't know where's the money going you're you're you're someone's getting paid you fuck you don't have soldiers wander through fields unless there's some money being exchanged hands period that's expensive to feed us why the fuck

would they put the the resources of those soldiers why would they put them to use in that area like that you know what that makes me think though man How fucking cool would it be to have your own army? Wouldn't that be awesome to have like 200, like an army? There's people who know what it's like to have an army. There he goes with having an army. Well, you know what would happen with Blackwater, right? Do you know what happened with Blackwater? No, I don't.

Supposedly, this is all supposedly, they just got some giant crazy contract with the United Arab Emirates. And they're going to, you know, I think it's like an Abu Dhabi, maybe Abu Dhabi. They're starting like a private military. You know, he's putting together some crazy mercenary group to shut down uprisings and make sure that no, no nutty shit happens. They don't lose all their money. I heard of I actually heard about this. Isn't it called Cobra? I don't know.

I don't know if it's true. I don't even know if it's true. Please let it be called Cobra. Isn't it called Cobra? I don't know. I don't know if it's even true. Please let it be called Cobra. It's not called Cobra. I made that up. It's not Cobra fucking Commander. Damn fucking asshole. Well, this guy who was the guy that was the head of Blackwater apparently got some huge deal to go over there. So I read online.

That would make sense, man. If I was some fucking dude in the Middle East like that, I was a king. I was like, I need to protect this shit. I'm going to have to hire me. And once you get to that position, me, I'm going to let that go. No one's letting that go. Why would you let that go? I'm the king.

Shut the fuck up. I got a new army. We got shit on lockdown. You're going to resist any form of assimilation. I don't care what you saw on Google. I got a palace I got to keep up. What would it be like to be a king and have an acid trip? Great.

A king and have a really deep acid trip. That's great. You think so? Yeah. Like having a fucking harem. Yeah. Like tripping on acid and knowing you had access to a harem and things got weird. Don't you think you would freak out thinking about all the people that hated you?

And all the people that wanted you dead? All the people that wanted your throne? Sure. You just get the joke at a dance for you and you would freak out thinking about all the people that hated you and all the people that wanted you dead and all the people that wanted your throne? Sure. You just get the joke and the dance for you and you'll forget about it. I mean, just living in any sort of a place where there's one person that is thought to be the king. The king. The king, I guess. The king of Jordan, the king of Egypt, the king.

The king of England, the queen of England. That's got to be a terrifying position. To be the king? Yeah, you must be totally paranoid all the time. Yeah, of course. I mean, look at what Obama's got to ride in. He's got to ride in some kind of bulletproof fucking hearse thing. Of course, also, because he's black.

Let's be honest. That's the real reason. That's the real reason. It's a big reason. Look, people tried to kill Ronald Reagan, of course. You know, people would... I think someone... Wasn't there some sort of a thwarted attempt against,

it was something about George W., but they got it like way before anything happened. It was a grenade, I think. They were trying to lob a grenade on stage. Either way. I mean, there's always one crazy faction of society that wants this president dead or the United States president dead for whatever reason but I always feel like with Obama like the shit that I hear online

and the things that I read it's like the racism is pretty obvious man there's a lot of people that don't just not like him as a person they don't like him because he's black and they talk about it pretty openly sure and call him a monkey and call him like it's like like it's really really

fucking fascinating like the the level of disrespect you know the idea just imagine right now the way you're gonna feel the day after michelle bachman gets elected if she got elected imagine how you were gonna feel i'm You know what I'm going to feel? I'm going to feel how much money does it cost me every year to live in Vancouver. And I call my accountant and I'm going to say, all right, now tell me what I would have to do. I'd have to pay taxes in both places? Yeah. Okay.

I can do that, though, and I can live there and I can still be a United States citizen? Let's fucking do it. I would just do it. Okay. I'd just move the fuck up there. That is the way racists felt when Obama got elected. Of course. That's the fucking sense of horror that some people had.

Not because of his views, not because of his ideas, but because he's black. They were like, oh my fucking God, this is it. This is it, Charlie. It's over. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, that's amazing. So, yeah, man. Yeah, it's completely out there.

And then you add on to that the fact that he fucking didn't exactly hit a home run, to put it lightly. Dude, he stepped up to plate and got hit with a meteor shower. I mean, I don't think any president had any chance of making any of this look good. There was a gigantic scheme going on. It collapsed and created this vortex of suck and unemployment and home foreclosures. And anybody stepping into that vortex would have been sucked into its momentum. Yeah. That's my opinion.

It kind of sucks that while he was in that fucking vortex, he started saying that people could start raiding medicinal marijuana dispensaries again. Under him, they started doing that. Yeah. Did they say that they raided them because they violated both state and federal law? Do you know? Because that was one of the claims that Obama said. He never said that he would stop raiding medical marijuana clinics.

He never said that he would stop raiding medical marijuana clinics. I think the language they used was they were going to stop unless they were violating both state and federal law. So if someone was selling marijuana, you're automatically violating federal law. But are you staying within the state guidelines? If so, then we're going to leave you alone. But if not, then we're going to go after you. And that's what they did. Oh, that's what he said? said yes because i heard there was a new thing that's i don't know i heard i heard that too but i didn't investigate it enough to be talking about it it's very hard

for me to hate our country so much duncan no i love our but well let me be clear about this i don't think we're happy i'm not happy until there's full legalization. And here's the problem with this idea of medical, is that I believe, at least in the way I understand it, that it can be interpreted that the only way you're supposed to be running one of these collectives and dispensaries is you're not supposed to be making any profit. I believe there's supposed to be a non-profit sort of a business. But obviously these people are making a fuckload of money.

So it's a very tricky, sort of a gray area that's going on right now. So I'm not even happy with just the medical distinction. It's silliness. It's 2011. Any argument about giving any inches

or just anything at all in that direction. Like, okay, well maybe we should make it illegal if you're... No, stop it. It's a fucking plant, all right? You can't make it illegal. You can't. It's a fucking plant. It grows in the ground.

You can't say it's no good. It's not a poison. There's all these plants that grow strychnine. They make strychnine. You can buy them. They sell salvia at Target, and I would think that salvia is way more dangerous for kids. Oh, yeah. They sell salvia at Target?

Salvia plants. Salvia plants. In the nursery. Go check it out. Is that the same type of salvia? Yes. I don't know. I don't know, but I do know that they sell the San Pedro cactus at, like, Home Depot.

The San Pedro cactus is how you get mescaline. Wow. Yeah yeah that's where peyote comes from you can take that fucking cactus and you can if you know how to do it there's all there's a bunch of you know uh like uh forms that'll show you how to go through step-by-step process online yeah man it's fucked up it's fucking it's ridiculous it's not just fucked up it's like that if there's a there's a one thing that has to happen the first thing that's going to happen and people don't put as much stock into this idea because it seems like a silly request but if you could fix anything about the world

what would you do i'd make psychedelics regularly available and legal and have people and devote energy and money to studying them and to distributing them correctly. And get people who are shaman to take people on authentic trips. People who have navigated these worlds. And then when the people come back and they need help with this reprogramming, you sit down with them. You have groups of people that have also had the experience. Sit down with them.

Discuss what about it. Did it make you think about yourself? Was there anything glaringly obvious you needed to change? And then the person would say, yeah, well, there's this fucking thing that freaks me out. I'm kind of a cheap fuck and I think we need to deal with that, right? I mean you're kind of selfish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it is.

I'm just like it's fucking – it's a force of habit. And if you have any weird sort of a personality tick like that and you do any psychedelic even eat pot just eat eat a cookie man that's the first thing that's gonna hit you you're gonna think about being a creepy person yeah think about your creepy behavior you know and if if there's ever a way to re-engineer society it's to shock people out of their current pattern of behavior that they find almost unavoidable the same patterns that cause people to overeat or chronic masturbation, we have to figure out a way to blast people out of those, shock you out of the pattern,

show you yourself from an angle or perspective that's not available without the psychedelic, then bring you back and give you something to think about. It's like these little trips, these little blasts, they're just little bursts of evolution. It's society. You see yourself, you see how you can fit, you see nice, you see positive, good. I'll see you in a couple months and just keep doing that. And every couple months, people go in and get blasted, talk to people, people talk to them through situations and tell them about ego and that it's all a trick and it's just temporary anyway, man.

The best feeling you'll ever get is to be really cool to as many people as you can. The best feeling you'll ever get is just to be nice to as many people as you can. Be friendly to them, shake their hand, hug them if you can, and just be someone that other people enjoy to be around. be someone that other people enjoy to be around when you do that you create positive energy you create love you create this this this this burst comes from you and you attract it and you bring it into your world i'll see you in a couple months and then the guy comes back every couple months one trip after another and a year later you, you can't even recognize this guy. A year later, this guy is fucking eating organic food and drinking coconut water and going to CrossFit and reading about the Bhagavad Gita. And you become a different human being.

You become a human being that's— Actualized. That's a good word. That's a good word. But that is possible. You can evolve without drugs you can evolve just with hard work and and focus and attention and meditation or you can just take the drugs and get their way quicker it's up to you man or go crazy and combine the two yeah you

know you don't it's not like you you can only do one or the other actually i found the combination of the two yeah is amazing getting really high and chanting is such a perfect synergy. It's so fun to do. But, I mean, getting high and doing anything is pretty fun. To me, the most amazing is getting high and doing yoga. Dude, I love to get super baked. I'll get baked in hotel rooms, and I'll do yoga. I got, like, a few DVDs, and I got one thing that I downloaded that I can watch on my laptop.

Dude, I'll get just blitzkrieg'd. So you're just in tune with every fucking fiber of your muscles, and you're holding these poses. And I'm reading from this book that has this fucking black and white photo of this Indian dude doing it from 1934. And he's doing these crazy ass fucking poses and I'm holding them in this hotel room. And then after I'm done, man, it's like it takes the high and brings it to this completely new room.

It's super clean. And it's like you sit here in this new room and this is just relax a little until the yoga wears off and then you can go right back in it's like it puts you in some crazy new high room where you're like i can see things so well right now it's like my body's in balance my mind is in balance i can see things so clearly troubling decisions seem so obvious i would love to see both of your favorite thing to do high together at the same time. You chanting and you doing yoga

in the same room. I think you guys should do that sometime. Yeah, but we could put that online and dudes would beat off to it. I'd not beat off to anything. Some guy, Bear69Cock, hey, I just want to let you know I beat off to your thing. Cool. Thanks, bro. You know you're straight. I love your asshole.

That would be awesome. Can I ask you something? Brian started talking about it. What did you think of Planet of the Apes? Listen, bro. Here we go. I got way more chimp in me than the average person. So you put me in a movie

where chimps start fucking shit up, I get very excited. I thought the CGI was the shit. I thought the CGI was the shit. I thought for a movie, for what I like to go to the movies to see, I want to see some fun shit. I like comic book movies. I like X-Men. What was the latest X-Men?

I really like that one a lot. Yeah. I like that kind of shit. I like ridiculous movies. First class. I just like, yeah, that one. I like shit that's like, I like stuff that's fun. I want to just get into it. And to me, this movie was, first of all, the special effects were fucking insane.

So close to perfect. So close to seeming like real chimps. Can I say something? Yeah. Here we go. I don't want to see it. You haven't seen it? No, I've seen it. go i don't want to see it you haven't seen it no i've seen it but i don't want to see chimp cock but none of those chimps had genitals it's true come on pg-13 well it's not that they didn't have genitals they just never showed you an angle

where you could see the dick here's the thing it was just clever photography everything everything that you've just described about the movie i agree with the cgi was fucking cool and there were some really cool moments but what bothered me about the movie what really bothered me about the movie um was the penis and what made it what made it kind of in what made me really start aiding it uh halfway through and get embarrassed by it and just think i'll never go see a fucking movie again in my life. What? Yeah, I got so pissed because I saw at the beginning fucking News Corps

and I was like, oh, here we go. How did fucking Rupert Murdoch fuck this up? How did he fuck it up? These chimps, these fucking chimps who've been tortured in laboratories. I told you about the time I almost got killed by a chimpanzee already, right? I told you that story. When was this? I didn't tell you that story even if you did tell me tell me again because i'm sure

a lot of people never heard of it tell me so i from this pilot i did for comedy central we had a chimpanzee as one of the gags where i was playing chess with a chimpanzee and the chimpanzee beat me at a move and so i so like oh i'm smart than me it's just a stupid quick gag like a computer's hooked up to the chimp and like it says checkmate the computer says checkmate so i was really excited about this day and my friend uh tom giannis who uh was the co-creator of the show and directed it was um he uh he kept telling me Duncan is that do you think there's any way we could do this without a chimp or do you really want to have a chimpanzee because I've worked with chimpanzees before and they're really hard to control on set and they're

dangerous and I'm like no I want to work with a chimp man I'm not going to say no to working with a chimp and they're not dangerous and they're going to sense that I'm a nice guy and the chimpanzee's going to know I'm okay and it's going to be fine. I was looking forward to this for days because I've always wanted to fucking hold a chimpanzee. So a fucking, the chimp gets here. You know that I know the chimps there because it's punching the hardwood floor as hard as it can as it's coming down through like to where we're shooting. It's just punching the floor, punching the floor, punching the floor.

Bang, bang, bang. This fucking thing, it looks like if you took a toddler and just blasted it with steroids. It's like, imagine the most muscular toddler with the worst case of ADD on the planet. That's a chimpanzee. And so right before he starts shooting, the guy says, Okay, just so you guys know it's a very friendly monkey um call him a monkey or i'm sorry chimp i'm i'm gonna i was like that trainer sucks dude how'd that guy get that gym a chimp train i don't know is there a harvard for chimp

trainers you just fucking get a chimp say you're a trainer you can rent the thing out don't you have to be a primatologist or something? I don't know. Okay. So this fucking monkey, so he's like, just so you know, the chimpanzee is the strongest person in the room. If he comes up to you, he just wants to say hi. He's very friendly. Just don't make any quick movements. And so suddenly this chimp is sitting in front of me, and it goes from being like, oh, this is going to be cute, to being like, this is no different than being with a tiger. This thing is fucking strong.

It seems kind of focused and cool right now, but it was being a little weird earlier. How big was it? I don't know the weight of the thing. It was probably like a little higher than my waist, like with the chimp crouch happening. So you'd say maybe 70 pounds, 80 pounds? I'd say like probably 80 pounds or something. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. So it's not a baby. No, it's a middle-aged little guy wearing blue jeans. I think it's more than 100 pounds. I don't know. No, I don't know. I wasn't. No, I could have picked it up. It's muscular shit, right? They're real muscular. We're starting to do the scene.

Chimp's got to move a piece. By the way, for animal rights people out there, I will never, ever, ever, ever use a chimpanzee again in anything that I ever do. I don't advocate it. It's cruel. It's a horrible thing. It's fucked up these creatures belong in habitats or in the wild they do not belong on a movie set they're very cool very

cool creatures but that's it's a terrible thing i agree so totally i'm fucking sitting there and the basically in like two seconds the chimp went from being calm and kind of focused to screaming at the top of its lungs and shooting past me at maybe 20 miles per hour. Like there's no way I could have reacted if it wanted to pounce on me. I couldn't have blocked it. It was like just this bang, like a lightning bolt. It shoots by me and runs to the top of this divider. So now it's pulling like a King Kong. It shoots by me and runs to the top of this divider. So now it's pulling like a King Kong. It's like, it's screaming at all of us.

And I'm like, fuck, I'm feeling the worst sense of guilt and fear. Anyway, we get it back down. Holy shit. We get it back down. Everything's fine again. It's like nothing happened. I didn't just freak out. Nothing just happened.

It's cool. Gets off its chair. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. This thing freaked out and you went back to happened. It was cool. Gets off its chair. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. This thing freaked out and you went back to work with it again? Yes. Oh, my God. Went back to work.

Went back to work. Oh, my God. I had to get the shot, man. It's low budget. Fuck it, man. Let's go for it. So what if I lose my job? What are you talking about?

I was terrified it was a bad decision in retrospect. It's true. But in the moment, I decided to do it. So the thing's in front of me again. And it's calmed down. And it's kind of cool. And I look over. The trainer is sweating.

Like, you know, nervous sweat. Like, nervous, nervous sweat. And I swear I hear the guy who's with him whisper to him, Should we do it? Should we do something with her? Like, should we do it? Should we do something with her? Like, should we do it? Should we do it? And he's like, not yet!

He yells at the guy. So I'm thinking, like, did he just suggest that they dart the chimp or something? Like, they calm it down? Like, something's not right with the chimp right now? So anyway, thing goes for me again. Not for me, but shoots out of the chair again the guy tackles it football tackles the chimp right football tackles this poor fucking creature the guy hits his head

on a chair he hits his nose on a chair from tackling the chimp the chimp didn't uh the chimp didn't bite him, but he hit his nose. I saw him do it. So, because he tackled the chimp. Why did he tackle the chimp? He saw something in the chimp's eyes that made him think, I got to tackle this chimp. So he tackles the chimp. He stands up.

I look around. The crew is like white-faced. I'm sitting here frozen in terror. I look over. The chimp is projectile vomiting bananas. Cause that's what they do when they get anxious. And the guy's like, guys,

we can go on. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Blood running down his face from where he slammed into the chair. Just blood, just gushing down the guy's face. And, uh,

and I'm like, no, you know what? I think we got it. Let's, let's call this a, let's call this a let's call this a day and that that happened man those fucking things are fast and deadly and dangerous and fucking kind of half insane because they're out of their environment so when i went to see planet apes and the first time one of those chimps went to kill someone,

and the chimp's like, no, no, you know, we mustn't kill. Let's let these humans live. I'm like, fuck that. Chimps, if they were super intelligent, they'd be ripping people to, like, fucking turkey on Thanksgiving. That's what annoyed me about it. It should have been brutal. It was more realistic. You wanted it to be more realistic.

Yeah, I wanted to see fucking monkeys. By the way, all these monkeys seem really good at jumping through office glass. If they weren't, it would be the most boring movie ever if they were all hitting the glass and falling back. Not if they were grabbing the workers in the office and slamming their bodies into the glass like beanbags, splitting them like fucking. So you didn't have fun with the movie at all? You couldn't look at it?

I did think that some of that jumping through the glass shit was ridiculous, but I was willing to let it go because it was a fun movie. Yeah, that's what I would think. To me, it was just a fun, badass movie. Listen, there is that part of my brain, too, that's like, whoa, this is fucking cool. But I'm not discounting what you're saying. I completely agree with you. moving uh listen there is that part of my brain too that's like whoa this is fucking cool but i'm not discounting what you're saying i completely agree with you if they went full chimpanzee what a what a chimp would really be like it was intelligent it would be a horror film a horror film of epic proportions yeah where the chimps would storm the town and just kill all the people

exactly brutalize them that's what i was really what would happen i saw this really cool picture on this website i go to called Disinformation. That sounds like a real credible source. It's a great website, man. They put out these books. When you hear that, though, it's like, where did you get the article? Oh, it was on disinformation.com. That sounds like you immediately just fall into one of those people that's constantly searching for the truth behind the lies.

It's not a conspiracy site. It's a good site. I'm just saying. I go to truth behind the lies. It's not a conspiracy site. It's more like. It's a good site. I'm just saying. I go to it all the time. I'm just saying that if that's one of those like hot buttons, like disinformation.com, you know, disinfo. It's like a website called We Lie to You or something. They have that book.

Disinformation. Aren't they the people that have You're Being Lied To? Yeah. They're the people that produce that book, right? That's them. And the whole series of those books. Yeah. Which are fantastic, by the way great books you you realize how many times

people have been lied to all throughout history it's like whoa what the hell yeah about that too just about everything but there's a picture on the site of a painting someone did a planet of the apes and it's these apes with guns standing in front of a pile of dead human bodies like they're hunters posing with like things that they've killed now that's cool when i see that because then they're really playing that like yeah we flip the script here's what it's here's the planet of the apes by showing monkeys behaving like humans do it was a cool creative way to amplify the cruelty and humanity and brutality of humans that was an important aspect of it is the monkeys were supposed to be cruel to things that they didn't think were smart so the fact that these their distant ancestors

started off as like what appears to be it seems like while that chimp was getting educated he got a nice heavy dose of like some form of like this is no spoilers by the way right you're not going to drop some spoilers on us because i haven't seen it yet it's planet of fucking apes if you don't know it's about talking monkeys and what the fuck yeah it's a little bit of a spoiler sorry look i see what you're saying. I think the movie's a spoiler. I don't think that... Oh, come on, man.

That movie was fun for me. I enjoyed the shit out of it. But you could make a movie where it would be all the scenes from King Kong and from the Hulk where they were just smashing everything. Yeah. And I would watch that movie. It could be like 40 minutes. I would pay $20 to go see just a video of the Hulk fucking shit up for 20 minutes

and then King Kong fucking shit up. Yeah, that's so fun. The people screaming when he's stepping on them. Oh, the old King Kong? Yeah, that's awesome. I just love the idea of the special effects. Did you like Godzilla as much? Yeah, I liked that when I was a kid.

But you know what? Those movies back then were so stupid. It's like we all agreed that we're stupid. We didn't think that was like a real monster. There was no doubt that was not a real monster, but we were willing to go along with it because it was kind of fun. There was no doubt that water

would not move that way if it was really the ocean. That's a goddamn bathtub. There's no doubt. But we were willing to accept it because it was really the ocean that's a goddamn bathtub there's no doubt but we were willing to accept it because it was kind of a cool movie what's fun for me now is i just love watching these artificially created creatures that have been rendered on a computer and people are interacting with them that to me like the king King Kong scene, when King Kong falls down in the newest King Kong. He falls down in between these two, like into a big crater or something like that. Like a big canyon, anyway.

He falls down into this big crack and there's all these vines and shit. And he's duking it out with T-Rexes all along the way. Wally's like juggling this chick. And while you're watching, it's like, god damn, this is a motion picture piece of art this is a masterpiece what they've done this really does look like a giant gorilla fighting off t-rexes that's fucking badass and it's really it really does look like it's interacting with trees it really does it's amazing when the fucking gorilla gets to the ground starts duking it out with them and it's like that really looks like a gorilla this is incredible dude i'm blown away by that shit blown away because i can't i when you hear about like computer language like i watched john carmack

do this this um speech about the new technology in their game rage and like all the different cool tweaks and different things that they've done with it. Remember when we went there when we were in Dallas and we got a chance to go? It's software. They let us go walk around the studio and look at the game before it was ever made. Dude, you listen to him talk and it's like, my brain is so far removed from any of this knowledge. What he's discussing with how they've created video games how they how they've changed the way the game interacts with people and i know he's doing this with ones and zeros

and numbers on white paper it's so far he's my he might as well be an alien he might as well be an alien he might as well be a different species than me somebody was just telling me that programmers brains start working differently because they're constantly thinking in coding language and it creates this difference in the way their brains work which i didn't really understand but that totally makes sense yeah when i just when i use photoshop and i think like somebody built this like somebody figured out how to do this yeah that's that is insane to me it's who are these people it's like we're giving academy awards and like huge awards and accolades to like

symmetrical people who are really good at like reciting lines in a specific way how come like the famous people in our society aren't these super geniuses who are building phones why don't we have like awards for people who make the crazy shit that makes our life so much better it's really weird johnny lynn's flare it is very weird well it's because our society is sort of developed and evolved without much planning it sort of just happened and as we are this weird combination of evolving, being an animal with needs and instincts, there's a lot of variables that don't get accounted for as behavior forms into patterns and cultures evolve around giant masses of land. It doesn't get planned out.

But I always feel, just like I feel with any pattern that is established in nature, I always feel that the most fucked up human behavior, all of it, the whole pile of it all, has got to all be natural. It's almost unavoidable. This is just what the human being does. And as we are older and have much less responsibility than most people 30 years ago or rather 300 years ago, our age, we're literally dying. 500 years ago, how long did people live? And what was normal? What was normal 1,000 years ago? Oh, no.

I looked this up. I think it's like 32 years. If you can look up lifespan of people it's like it was no it's not a thousand years ago it's like 1800s it's almost to me like we're not supposed to get old enough to see the hustle right it's almost like we're we're designed to die off right when we start going what the wait a minute what the fuck are we doing hey hey hey everybody settle down what are we what exactly are we doing here but that's when you're supposed to heart failure that's what that's what your shit's supposed to quit but we're we're alive

so much longer now because of nutrition and medicine and people are just they're more they they're more conscious and at first a person like yourself has more free time as well, and more free time to contemplate. And you're in a nonconformist occupation where you're not constantly pressured every day to thinking along certain lines. Because that's a real issue with the American worker. You think you're given eight hours a day,

but you're not given eight hours a day. You're given eight hours a day, plus your behavior outside of work can't get much too crazy in comparison to your behavior inside of work or it's going to affect your performance at work. You can't be partying too much and coming into work hungover. So the whole thing must be regulated. So everybody has to stay in line. You can't get crazy and say sexist jokes around female coworkers or you'll go to jail.

You'll be arrested. You'll lose money because of sexual harassment. You know, if you fire her, you're going to get sued. And these are all that this is all like an impossible thing to avoid. If you're not a normal person working a normal job, it's impossible for you to avoid your behavior being altered just so that you can work. Well, yeah. There's a game that people forgot they were playing.

It's called Western Society. And most people, the way they play that game is they have to. There's different roles they take. There's the worker and the boss. There's the executive. There's the president. There's police officers. And it's all a big game.

When you go and buy a Starbucks, I learned this. There's a really cool meditative technique you can do that's part of this stuff this guy Gurdjieff talks about. But it basically shows you how you're essentially just a series of automatic functions throughout the day. You're not even there. But what you do is when you go to buy something, just be aware of the way you buy something. Watch the way your hand gets your wallet. Watch the way the money or the card comes out. Watch the way you swipe the card. Watch the way you talk to the person. Watch the way the person talks to you. And what you'll see happening is something you've been doing for years and years and years and years and years and years over and

over and over again to buying shit because you live in America and that's how we fucking survive is buying shit at a cash register. It's just a great way to see how when you do that, your body goes into this automated function. Get the wallet. Pull the card. Say thanks in a weird way. Look at the person. If you look at the person, you're seeing an automaton. You're seeing a person who's put their consciousness on the shelf while they like all day long process people's cards, process people's cards.

So what you're seeing is two machines having this interaction and it's really fucking a great exercise to do because what you're seeing is a game that you've been playing so long you've forgotten you you're playing that game you've learned how to buy shit at a cash register there was a time when you'd never bought something at a cash register when you're a kid and then your parents taught you how to do it you learned how to exchange money for goods and that crystallized to this ritual that you don't even know is a ritual. It's just this automatic thing. So this fucking game of Western society, it invites people to become automatons, to get through the day when you're like – used to wash dishes at applebee's and i can remember like the way that you would get through the day of washing dishes is you just go into this automatic

trance just a trance spray the dish put in the thing wash scrub put in the thing it's just an automatic trance you're there but you're not really there you're just in a trance and you do it as an escape from the monotony and dullness of the job. Well, it should be one person is cleaning their own plate. That's what it should be, right? It shouldn't be there's a giant stack of plates and someone's job it is to clean those things because that's when things start to suck. That's when jobs start to suck, when you're doing all the shit for money that no one wants to do. There's a big difference between that kind of a job and the kind of a job where you actually have a career and do things you enjoy. Like you, you get paid to be a professional comedian.

Yeah. That's a, I mean, it's not even, it shouldn't even be classified as a job. Yeah, it doesn't feel like it. Call it a career if you want to get pretentious, but, you know, it's your thing. The career thing is a horrible word, man. It's a weird word. I hate it. It makes you feel like, you know, I i'm fucking serious you know what it means rhinestone what it's the it comes the derivation of the word is the track horses ran on really yeah circle you never get

anywhere you're just running a fucking circle that's what a career is. I'm working on my career. It's like the, yeah, I think that I feel very lucky. I feel incredibly lucky. And also I feel like always on the precipice of absolute disaster. There's something really quite peaceful about having a regular paycheck, man. There's something really nice about that. That's fucking cool to know every two weeks you're getting a paycheck. That's badass. nice about that that's fucking cool to know every two weeks you're getting a paycheck that's badass so that life of working a job and having a regular job it is there's sweetness to it man and it

facilitates having babies and it facilitates a lot of aspects of life that i think are quite pleasurable on a really high level so i totally get it it just, you know, is there a way that this process that we're all engaged in, this gigantic game that we're all in, this crazy dance of Western civilization that we're all engaged in, is there a way that we can take it up a level? Is there a way we can make it a little more aware of itself, a little more cognizant of itself, a little less embedded in superstition. And again, I've got to go to what I said before, is that I think that things are evolving. You just are not happy with the pace. I think that we live in such a tiny frame, a tiny window of time.

And the amount of progress that we're looking at just from a thousand years to now is monumental two thousand years to now and human behavior knowledge and access to information off the charts how much it's progressed and you're just caught in the middle of it and it's key it's not going to stop with with the internet and with the the access to information that's available now and the ability to communicate now truth is getting through more often than not truth is piling on there's a lot of bullshit out there still but it's way easier to cut the bullshit off with the internet it's evolving it's just not evolving up to your speed what you would like to see but just look at the way people think act and behave now as a composed as compared to the way they did turn essential

there's no question and that's not even a blink of an eye not even a blink of an eye right it's unquestionably moving in a certain direction and yeah it's quagmired in greed and built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit. But it's still spiraling towards the technological singularity. But some of these accelerations, some of the advancements that you're talking about are some of the things that you're like, wow, things have really advanced. It's because groups of people made active efforts to push against the anti-evolutionary force. Sure. I mean, that's their role in this machine. That's their role in this process. Their role is to push things in that manner. I mean, I think it's all an ingredient in a gigantic metaphysical sort of a soup.

And it's all piled in together there. And everyone's doing their little part, but it's changing slow for our ideas and our tastes. But compared to history, the rapid pace of evolution, not even evolution, of progress, the complexification of our society, it's blowing up in our face. We're hanging on tooth and nail, literally. There's a lot of people that still haven't even grasped how much it's changed. That's why when you have all these wacko gay Republican dudes that get busted online getting hookers, getting male hookers like this new guy that just got caught. Somebody just sent it to me on Twitter.

I don't know his fucking name, but you know the story. The story just keeps happening over and over again. The same goddamn story. This guy wanted to pay some dude to have sex with him, and he got caught with it. It's fascinating, man. It's fascinating shit. The human animal is a very strange mixture of complex thinking and awareness, sex thinking and awareness and then some just wild monkey jealousy and instincts and fears and it's all piled together in this weird fucking biological machine and just like go ahead figure this out you got a bunch of things pulling you a bunch of different directions and a lot of lies

around you good luck and you get pushed out there and try to find things to sustain the body while the mind searches for answers and like-minded people to hang with in order to compare ideas so you don't feel like you're crazy you don't feel like you're the only person out there on the beach howling at the moon saying what the fuck is this somebody please make sense of this shit somebody is there anybody there anybody out there? And the internet, now you can send that fucking message in a bottle and someone answers. Dude, right here. WTF.

What the fuck? What's going on? What's happening? And everybody gets together. And that's the hive mind. That's how the mind really thickens. That's how things really start getting connected. It's happening right now. It really is, man. We're only dealing with a two-decade-old invention.

Two decades is a fucking fraction of the time it takes for your eye to close. But how about when not only does it get a group of people being like, what the fuck? How about when it brings groups of people into the streets and overthrows governments like in Egypt? Yeah. I mean, it doesn't just stop with this. Well, how about the UK? You know, one of the things they were trying to do? They wanted to shut down Twitter and Facebook over there.

Yeah. Because that's how people were communicating. This BART thing that happened in San Francisco? Same thing. They shut down the fucking cell phones. Yeah. They didn't want people organizing. Yeah.

It's crazy, man. Like, that kind of shit is like, listen, man, you can't do that. They didn't want people organizing. Yeah. It's crazy, man. Like, that kind of shit is like, listen, man, you can't do that. You can't, you're not allowed to shut off the phones. What if someone's fucking mother was dying? What if someone got hit by a car but you couldn't call a fucking ambulance

because you can't use your phone because you assholes are afraid of criticism? Because you assholes are afraid of people yelling and screaming and telling you that you fucked up. So you cut off the phone lines. You should go to jail. You should go to jail. If you shut off the phones in America in 2011 to avoid a protest, fuck you. That's ridiculous for you to say that you want to maintain order so badly you will cut off communication between everyone. Taxpayers, good people that have done no wrong without a single spot on their record.

You deny them use of the phone too, blanketly? Fuck you. You know what they said? What? Humans have a, Americans have a right to free speech speech but they also have a right to get to where they want to go on time yeah well how about if someone's dying stupid no i think it's the worst i think it's the it's fucking so and it's to me it's scary it's terrifying it's terrifying yeah it's scary because it's like what you're supposed to do is you're gonna have to hire more cops

stupid and you're gonna have to you know keep peace in a in a very respectful manner and you know there's a there's a there's a whole fucking bad history between cops and and people up there man and you know i'm not saying that the cops are 100 in the wrong but there's been some shit they did that's crazy like the cop that shot the guy because he thought he was tasering him instead he shot him and it's all on video i mean like what the fuck man there's been a lot of nonsense like that and it's just when you shut the fucking phones off and keep people from protesting people just gotta go what what the fuck are you doing and that man who the fuck are you that's why it's so incredible what anonymous did by creating a protest that got broadcast nationally to every

internationally people saw that shit. And if they hadn't have done that, if they'd been content with just having conversations about it, it wouldn't have escalated to the level that it escalated to. And a lot of those guys got arrested. Like they put freedom of information in front of their own freedom.

That is heroic. That's badass. That's what I'm talking about i'm saying at some point you people have got to like stand up because if you don't if no one had stood up if no one had done that if there been no protests if bart didn't know that every time they try to shut the fucking phone lines down they're gonna get swarmed what was the what was the protest over do you know i don't know it was they were the The anonymous protest was after another protest that happened, and I do not know why the first protest happened.

I just know they shut the fucking front. Did it have to do with that guy who was murdered? I think the guy's getting out of jail. Oh, maybe. It might be completely different. That's what I thought the whole thing was about. It's the saddest thing in the world when you think about that

someone lost their life because of something so fucking stupid and then the guy who did it one fucking stupid mistake his life is fucked forever too yeah he's got to deal with that for the rest of his life can you imagine how stupid you must feel to make that mistake?

Every day. You're so panicked. You thought you had your taser, but you had your gun, and you shot the guy. That weight of that. Think of the weight of that. I always think about that, the weight. Because it's like when you fuck over a friend or if you do something stupid, eventually you can say, I'm sorry.

That was stupid. You can apologize, and you can get it off your chest. When you kill somebody, you can't do it. You can't apologize someone back to life. Right. There's nothing you can apologize and you can get it off your chest when you kill somebody you can't do it you can't apologize someone back to life there's nothing you can do you can say you're sorry to their family but that's not going to bring the person back it's so terrible yeah it's a pretty crazy idea we're so connected to each other when you lose someone in your life so so painful the idea that other people can take people away from people that's like the ultimate attack on them so strange because we all know we're temporary we all know we're gonna die we just don't want to right now i'm not ready yet

no i'm having too much fun i'm this. I'm just getting this thing mastered. I'm just getting it figured out. I know how to enjoy it now. I figured it out. I figured out how to enjoy it. Don't let me die yet. Not yet. Sorry, Mr. Rogan.

We've got to move you on to the next experiment. You can't stay here. Maybe that's all this is. It's like when they give the implant of the apes. You know when they have that spoiler alert, put your fingers in your ears. Don't do that. It's not that bad.

I can talk about the test that they did, right? Can I talk about it? No, you shouldn't talk about the plot. It's probably not smart. It's rude. Okay, so forget Planet of the Apes. But sometimes with kids, you give them like intelligence tests

where they have to like do like certain things, you know, and imagine if that's what this whole thing is some kind of alien intelligence test where after you solve this certain puzzle you get moved along and the way it looks when you get moved along is you you're gandhi taking a bullet in the chest or you're you know you're some you're someone who just like maybe you just have a heart attack like sometimes i've thought i wonder if there's like a thought you just have a heart attack. Like sometimes I've thought, I wonder if there's like a thought you can have or a place you can get to where you just get it to the point where you don't have to stick around here. Like they say that some yogis through meditation have just like meditated and meditated and they can willfully just leave their body. They call it dropping your body.

They don't call it death. Dropping your body. I wouldn't call it death. Dropping your body. I wouldn't put that past the realm of possibility. If you consider the fact that your brain, we know, produces a bunch of different psychedelic chemicals, who's to say there's not some way to trigger those? There's not some way to stimulate those by putting yourself into a frequency through meditation where you force the brain to accept a certain vibe, just a certain frequency. And in doing so, you can actually force your brain into producing certain chemicals.

And then you fucking blast off. I mean, the brain makes psychedelics. Fact. Fact. The human body makes psychedelics. Sure. Fact. We know it does.

It makes a bunch of things that affect your behavior. It makes adrenaline. It makes dopamine. It makes serotonin. It makes all these different things. Oxytocin. Yeah, oxytocin. There's all sorts of things that affect your behavior. It makes adrenaline. It makes dopamine. It makes serotonin. It makes all these different things. Oxytocin. Yeah, oxytocin. There's all sorts of things that stimulate you, affect you.

We know it makes all the crazy chemicals that exist that create the dream state. I've been taking this fucking alpha brain shit and having the nuttiest dreams, man. And I had a werewolf, gorilla sex dream. It was the strangest fucking dream of all time it was so bizarre because it was so stupid but so real and so easy to recall this these these alpha brain things man one of the things that a bunch of people tweeted me about this too that when you uh when you take them and have dreams for whatever reason you're fucking you remember your dreams you know and um this dream was so stupid it's a gorilla and he was right behind like a a bulging and breaking piece of

wall board you know the white uh plaster and i had to squirt the uh the the the fucking stuff to put him to sleep through it i couldn't quite get to him then i had to run away and hide and he ran into a werewolf and they fucking fought. And then started sucking each other's cocks. It was the most ridiculous dream ever. I'm not responsible. I don't know what the fuck it means. But this werewolf was on top sucking this

gorilla's cock. And they were like 69ing each other. And I was like, what kind? I've never had a dream like that before. If you looked in the dream dictionary, it doesn't say anything. It doesn't exist yeah it just says you are joe rogan yeah it was it was so crazy it was like going from absolute terror and fear like there was these these gorillas were these giant silverbacks and they were right behind this thin piece of wall board and i had to inject them with this sedative. I had to

get them with it and I couldn't quite get to him. And I pulled it out and he came through the wall and I ran. And as I ran and then he runs into the werewolf. It was just, it went from... Were they 69ing? Dude, it became completely ridiculous. Not only that but the way they looked became

completely ridiculous. They went from being like a terrifying looking silverback gorilla to some sort of curious George halfway. Romantic. You know, goofy looking, like smiling gorilla getting his dick sucked by a werewolf. You know, it became completely cartoonish. It was so strange. I was like, I can't even wrap my head around how anybody would try to describe i mean how are you going to tell me what's going on in my head that's how you're going to tell

when everything became a big gay joke it's like you're running from you're running from a terrifying superior physical specimen in a giant silverback gorilla that you're trying to sedate through a wall with a needle what and then you run away and then a werewolf turns the corner and smashes into the grill and then they start blowing each other the fuck man better do you do you believe in those dream books no you can't if that's not in there i don't believe it if that's in a dream book and i'll tell you what i swear to god i'm fucking straight as they come it come. That's not what this is about. I am just not responsible for a lot of the fucking thoughts that spin around in my imagination sometimes.

I really don't believe I am. I think, I mean, it's not that I was like thinking that this was a real thing. It was like my brain just created the stupidest idea for a movie in the middle of a horrifying scenario. Now, did you join into the monkeys at all? Did you start having sex with them also? No, I was trying to get away. I was trying to get away. So you used this as an escape, a way to escape.

Yeah, yeah. They started blowing each other, and then I said, okay, I can get out of here. But it became cartoonish. Now, did you walk away slow? You were watching the whole time. Yeah, you know what I did. I'm getting out of here. I tiptoed so that I didn't shock them. I feel like if you move too fast, they can't help but chase you.

They'll come out of it. Yeah, it's like if you roll a ball in the yarn past a kitten, they run after it. They can't help themselves. It's just instinctual. They say that's what also happens with bikers, like mountain bikers and mountain lions. Sometimes mountain lions, they see them moving fast, and they literally can't help themselves. They just chase after them. Right.

So you want to make sure you don't do that. So I walked away real slow while they were blowing each other. So there you go, you guys. There's a survival tip. Yeah, if you ever come upon a werewolf and a gorilla sucking each other's cocks, slow their cock away. Yeah, what the fuck is that?

Good luck, Freud. Good luck dissecting that memory or that idea. But the weird thing is that it was so vivid. These pills, for whatever reason, give you these incredibly vivid dreams. What's in them? Good question. I should probably know, right? I'm telling everybody to take them.

Supposedly, everything there's on it.com, O-N-N-I-T. Angel Eyes. Chris, or Aubrey, as he says would you say angel eyes yeah people keep on saying there's angel eyes angel eyes what does that mean it angelizes that stuff that you give to dogs so when they they tear it may it you know when dog cries it gets black underneath their eyes angel eyes is something you put in their food when they eat so it doesn't it takes that away and people online is like does it have angel eyes i've never knew that there was something like people were concerned with their dog's tears yeah when you get like a white dog and it's really spraying that yellow shit out looks like yeah yeah but what the fuck are you doing to the dog what is that it's their protein it's it's like uh too much zinc or something weird like oh so it's just

sort of holistic? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay, what the fuck are we talking about? Well, before Angel Eyes, we were talking about a 69ing werewolf gorilla duo. How did we get from that to Angel Eyes? Because you were talking about the brain stuff.

The pills. The brain pills. Who knows what they're doing to us right now. Yeah, the sales pitch for the pills, I think we've got to work on it a little bit. No, I'm not working on it. I'm not selling it. This is what I'm telling. This is what I've decided to do.

I'm just going to be totally honest with how I feel with them. I'm not a doctor, obviously. If you're listening to any medical advice I give you, you're a silly person. There's plenty of valid sources on the Internet. But I am a person with an objective experience. And what I'll do is i'll take these fucking pills and i'll tell you what i feel like and what i feel like right now is i feel like they make my mind feel clearer and clearer is a very subjective term obviously but i feel like i have more energy but it doesn't feel like a run-on sort of a spiky caffeine energy it feels like like a, I hate the word crisp and cleaner,

but that's for lack of better words. It's like 7-Up of energy. Yeah, it does something good, man. I enjoy it, and it gives me very memorable dreams. Not all of them involving gorillas and werewolves. Some of them have been weird people dreams, some science fiction dreams. I've had some crazy ones

i had this crazy dream about um a world with a thousand nikola teslas that instead of just one super genius oddball crazy man like tesla this it was like a subsect of the species and it's like a thousand of them and they just in the a matter of a few years' time, had these giant metal floating ships all throughout cities. And everything was run through wireless electricity. And this was me, somehow or another, in the 1950s. This 1,000 Teslas had moved society so rapidly before anybody could even control it because they were so far advanced. It was like a thousand of them all together creating all this shit.

And in the 1950s, there was flying ships and there was a type of electronic connectivity that was very similar to the way we're doing it now, but different. There was just, everyone could talk to people from these handsets that were all throughout the city. Like there were, you know, everyone was congested into this one place.

And you could move to any handset and constantly be contacting people. It's very trippy, man. It was really weird. Because it was like 1950s aesthetic, like the way people dress, and you know, a man going to work with a leather briefcase, and you know, and even like the certain type of hats they would wear with their glasses

on Father Knows Best. But meanwhile, there's flying metal ships, and metal ships and electricity in the air. Tesla wanted to broadcast electricity. He wanted it to be like radio signals and have it just fly through the air. But then anybody could, just like radio, just all you need is a receiver to take it. There's no fucking money in that. Yeah, that's right. He had a lot of shit that he invented that, you know, they took away his trunks,

that all his writing. Yeah. That's kind of crazy. He was a fascinating, fascinating dude. But in this crazy dream, the dream, like, almost had a title. It was 1,000 Teslas. There was all these little crazy-looking dudes, eccentric-looking super geniuses running around all together, a thousand of them creating all

this nutty shit no one could keep up with what the effects it was just it was nothing like the slower pace that we've had to endure over you know and really and you think about an extra half of a century ain't shit it's really not that much time ever to to have all this uh new technology together but if it all burst together in the 1950s, if we had all the access to all the different disciplines that we have today, if we had them in the 1950s, if there was really like that kind of an evolutionary growth, like immediately from 1900 to 1950, that would be incredible. That'd be so fascinating. If in a lifetime, we go from 1900 to us right now, or advanced, or even more advanced, in 50 years. Yeah, like if the singularity happened in the 50s.

Exactly. Do you believe in the multiverse stuff? I'm too stupid. I'm too stupid to argue about it. I read some new thing about, I forget what it was, that made them believe some sort of sound, something, vibration. What was the latest? There's some latest evidence of a multiverse.

Do you know what it is? No. On the internet. It's all still what ifs, though. That's the only bad thing about the whole thing. We're never going to probably find out in our lifetime. I don't know about that, man. I don't know about that.

Man, if you look back, if you want to see how much we've advanced, just go back like we were talking about earlier and check out the medical ideas that people had, the scientific ideas people had. Here it is right here. First observational test of the multiverse. The theory that our universe is contained inside a bubble and that bubble, that multiple alternate universes exist inside their own bubbles making up the multiverse is for the first time being tested by physicists. Two research papers published in Physical Review Letters and Physical Review D are the first to detail how to search for signatures of other universes. Physicists are now searching for disk-like patterns in the cosmic microwave background.

Relic heat radiation left over from the Big Bang, which could provide telltale evidence of collisions between other universes and our own. Whoa. Collisions. Evidence of collisions of universes. What the fuck, dude? Collisions. That's the alternative concept to the Big Bang as well.

The idea that our universe, whether it's in a bubble like the multiverse or the people that propose membranes, they propose that the brains collide at certain points and that creates a recycling of the world. We just can't wrap our head around something that's that far or that long, that much longer a period of existence than our own life. The idea of this cycle that's billions and billions of years. We are so important in our own lives that the idea that that's how small a part we play for real. real i'm gonna exist for 80 years inside some weird biological body and some crazy process that happens every 16 17 billion years these things collide with each other and everything starts completely from new no planets man no nothing just particles and gas and heat and nuclear explosions and fucking mass connects all these different objects together and they slowly form planets and then life grows

on them and then life becomes complex life becomes intelligent self aware life creates technology goes to war blows up the fucking universe and then they collide again and more collide all around and it's a constant cycle of society

life everything universe complexity gets to a certain peak. And then they just hit each other. Boom. Maybe it's not that much time in between each collision. Maybe it's not. Maybe a genius thought or a really great idea, when people have super great ideas, maybe that's a collision that's happened. Maybe it happens on the micro scale and not just on the macro scale.

It's like perhaps there's like super tiny universes that bubble against stars and like manifest in the form of somebody who came up with the theory of relativity or some kind of culture shaping idea like communism or something like that maybe that every great idea is just a projection of the multiverse coming through people and manifesting here is massive global change and maybe we're getting hit by more of them now like a meteor swarm of these multi these other universes bumping into ours. Falcon McKenna wrote this awesome, weird story.

Did you ever read this thing? He talked about how right around when Christianity started, the universe ripped into a multiverse, and there's another advanced dimension right next to ours that's concerned over the fact that we have nuclear weapons. But, like, normally we could be ignored but the fact we have nuclear weapons kind of like um makes things and multiverses next to us that are aware of us worried but he wrote it not like it was real he wrote it in this strange way like

i couldn't tell if he was trying to write a metaphor or something i wish someone would find it it's fucking cool but this tesla thing you talking about, it's so funny because you have to think, OK, well, I guess my brain just completely manufactured this alternate reality where super intelligent people had invented all these things. is the idea of the spirit world where at that moment your astral body went to some alternate dimension and saw one possibility of the way our universe could have turned out and then came back here and now you're broadcasting that to as many people as listening listen to the show you're a leak of some weird some weird coordinate of the multiverse is coming through you. Now, as you talk about this thing, that's like,

it's a dream. Maybe there's some fucking part of the multiverse where werewolf 69 gorillas. I got to stay the fuck away from there. It just, to me, it was almost like a little message that everything is preposterous. Do you take,

do you ever stop and wonder how much of your life how much of the the things that you go through are real and how much of it may be some sort of uh background noise going on in this weird play that you're creating for yourself that your imagination has put forth and then someday you're going to understand it all. But right now, it's all the people that are in front of you or the bit players, and you're supposed to be trying to figure this fucking thing out as you move along. All that stuff that's going on in the background, car accidents and war.

It seems like there's too many pieces going together, too. Too many times I'm like, that's just weird that that just happened like that. You know, like, it just seems like it's just – Like you're manifesting things with your own mind too. Yeah. Yeah. It's not foolproof, you know.

It's not like you can prove it. Right. But there's something going on. I think it is. I think there's something to the idea that like when you know someone is going to call you and then you pick up the phone and it's them that's just weird there's something to that i don't know what it is i'm not but i don't buy that it's just coincidence it may be coincidence sometimes but i've had sharp moments where i thought of somebody and i looked at the phone and it started ringing and it was them

like sharp moments like I don't know what that is I don't know what it is you could say that it's just luck and anticipation meeting each other you know that I was hoping that person called me but not even man sometimes you don't even think about that person for a long time then all of a sudden you think about them like wow I haven't talked to him in fucking 10 years. And then he leaves you an email. Yeah. And you're like, what is that? What is it? It just happened to me, dude. I just on the lavender hour, I just did.

My friend Brendan Walsh came in and we both go to the same medicinal marijuana dispensary. And we were both talking about how awesome it is. And the people who work there are really fucking cool. And so I'm like, you know what? I'm going to do a commercial for this dispensary like if i want to do like a all the way commercial should be i'm not getting paid they don't even know who i am i'm just gonna do this commercial because they're cool people and it's a cool fucking place so i i did like like there's a character on the lavender or a teacup pig it's

basically little hobo like i am so high right now i did this stupid commercial for them. The next day I went in there to get my medicine and I walked in and the guy's like, Hey, Hey, look at this, look at this. And he just pulled up on the computer, the lavender hour episode where I did the advertisement. Now, what the fuck are the odds of that? The odds of that are pretty goddamn slim. I mean, it's, I think the odds that that guy would even hear about it are pretty slim, but if you consider the idea of me coming there at the exact time you just pulled it up on the computer. Dude, I don't think you have any idea

how many people listen to you on this podcast. I bet that guy probably was a big podhead podcast fan, and he probably listens to this one or listens to yours, and he knew exactly who the fuck you were and he he's seen you online because he thought you were hilarious when i find out that about a comedian of someone that i think is funny or a musician and some new music like i got i just got into queens queens of the stone age recently i've been looking up on them and reading all different you know articles about them and downloaded a couple of their cds it's great stuff but when you then you all of a sudden you know what that person looks like right you and articles about them and downloaded a couple of their CDs. It's great stuff.

But then all of a sudden you know what that person looks like. Right. You recognize them. So if this guy was like a Lavender Hour fan. He wasn't. His friend had told him about it. I'm just saying the weird temporal coincidence of me coming. I don't know why I even try to pee on your parade. Yeah.

Pee on the parade, man. It's fun. I wanted to be the voice of logic. No, first of all, I mean I mean, more people listen to your show than the Lavender Hour, for one. Two. You've got to get rid of that broad. Get out of here. I'm just kidding.

I was like, holy shit, Joe. I was like, oh, man, don't go down that road. No, please, man. People love those kind of couple shows. Jay Moore does it with his girl. There was an article on our website about – what's his face? Who the fuck does it with his girl? Bill Burr.

Bill Burr. Bill Burr. Jesus Christ. Bill Burr and his girlfriend will get into arguments. And he does it on his Monday morning podcast. There was a whole thread about how they love it when Bill Burr's girlfriend comes on because it's fun. I think that's some of the funniest moments when we start arguing. Kevin Smith's funny with his wife.

That was an interesting one. It's a different dynamic, man. Husband and wives have weird dynamics. Men and women have weird dynamics. Doing yours, I love doing your podcast. It was fun. It was fun seeing you in this different environment, you know, because whenever you and I do a podcast, we do it over here.

But doing it over there, it was cool to see, you know, you and her have this real cute little banter thing going back and forth, and we're all sitting in this thing together, and you have to stop every 20 minutes because it's about to crash your hard drive. Like, it's, like, so totally dunk. It's like, oh, this is awesome. It's awesome. Hold on, guys.

I got to save this. I got to save this. It's just gold. Hold on. So every 20 minutes, he's saving it on his fucking sound effect. We fixed it. Since then, we fixed it. We have a sound guy now.

You fixed it. But you know what I like? This is what I really liked about it. She and you are very different, but she lets you be you. She's not trying to change you. And you're such an odd guy, Duncan. And I've, you know, we've had, you know, you've had situations in the past where girls didn't kind of get that,

that it was good, and they wanted to turn you into something else. Like, do you remember the time we were thinking about quitting comedy and you were going to go back to school? Yeah, because every time I get on the show, you remind me and everyone about it. Well, it was a brilliant moment. Yeah. It was a beautiful moment. It was a moment where... Which I don't mind. By the way, I remind me and everyone about it. Well, it was a brilliant moment. Yeah. It was a beautiful moment. It was a moment

which I don't mind. By the way, I was joking. I don't mind. No, I know. I know. Who were you dating, Sigourney Weaver? Those moments when you realize that someone is morphing you and that you are trying to conform to what they like because you don't want them to leave you. Yeah. Those are creepy fucking weird moments,

man. That's terrible. Those are scary moments. Very scary. Those are scary fucking weird moments man that's terrible those are scary moments very scary those are scary fucking moments because yeah because well they are all you know what they're it's an illusion of being scary because you know i mean well no it isn't i mean for some people what happens if you put a baby inside one of those people what happens if like yes that's then then then then you're chained to a person who's dissatisfied with you as a human. But here's the thing, man. Being with someone for a while, you're going to watch people go through phases. And there are going to be some phases that people are in that maybe you're not so cool with.

You know what I mean? And you have to differentiate between is this person or am I dissatisfied with some core aspect of this human or are they just in a weird spot right now? And I got to get, you know what I mean? It's tricky being in a relationship. You and your chick are unusual in that you're both in the same line of business and you work together and you still get along. Yeah. How the fuck does that happen? Doesn't always happen. It doesn't always always happen we don't always get along we're not in a we have a great relationship but if you think that i mean

relationships aren't idyllic you know what i mean but what is it like like you mean and you open for her right yes that's kind of your feature for her yeah i'm not supposed to open and you open for her, right? Yes. That's kind of your feature for her. I'm not supposed to say open. I'll open for her, whatever. I open a lot of shit. I open car doors for her. I open everything. I open fucking cans.

What I'm trying to say is she's a good comic, too. She's a great comic, and she's fucking disciplined and really funny. And when we work together, our synergy creates a lot of funny shit. And I make her laugh and i she's got one of the greatest laughs i've ever heard and so that keeps me wanting to be funny around her and instead of it like her rejecting me being funny she embraces it and so you've had girls reject you being funny i i would i wouldn't say like reject me being funny, but I think it's more of a – it's more with her – Is it a conformity thing?

Like they wanted you to like not have these crazy ideas? It's always power, man. Really? It's not a conformity thing. It's like you're either in a relationship with somebody where you can create a symbiosis and merge your power together and you both want each other to be successful. Or you're in a situation with someone where somebody wants to be on top. Somebody wants to be ahead. Someone wants to be literally on top in every single way.

And so if you're in a relationship where somebody's trying to repress your creativity out of fear, then as a human being, you have to, you have to get out of that relationship, but it's not that easy when you're in love with somebody. What do you, what do you mean by what you were just saying? Like someone that always wants to be on top. Yeah, on top. On top of the game, on top of you in every way. The dominant.

The dominant one. If you're with someone who... You've had that, man? Oh, yeah. I would say you did, wouldn't you? Like that one girl? Full on. Someone just constantly fucking with you. you constantly telling you what to do

really yeah yeah but i think i think i think the important thing to realize though she has a vagina is that no yeah exactly it's a life of hell but it's true they're fucking shades of this that we're talking about there's shades of this and and i and the reason it's kind of a common you know it's a common thing when you see in a sitcom or a movie the theme of the guy. Yes, dear. Whatever she wants is what goes. It's because we're talking about some form of interaction that happens between the masculine and feminine energy. Well, you know, it's really interesting.

You've grown more. It's interesting? You've grown more. It's true. You've grown more as a person. I mean, you've always been a guy who's really pretty introspective and kind of brutally honest about yourself, pro or con. But when you're in a steady relationship, I always feel like, especially like right now, like you're in a healthy one, you're in a healthy one you you're in a you're like in a

way different place creatively like you're able to express yourselves without the burden of there's a lot of psychological fucking warfare that goes on and constantly bad relationships that really clouds up the mind and when you're in a healthy relationship you know like you are, it allows you to think about things much clearer. Your ability to describe reality just over the past few years, you've gotten so much better at it, man. Your writing's gotten better. Your comedy's gotten better. You've always been a super smart dude. But I think that when you're in a position where you find someone who doesn't try to fucking change who you are,

that's so important. It's the worst thing in the world to see one of your friends stuck in some situation where someone's trying to get him to be something that he's not. Right. Not encourage him to do what he wants to do, but to get him to be. You're never going to make it as a comedian. Just give this up. Yeah.

You should write books. You can write books. Yeah. I get encouraged like yeah it's a very cool relationship because they encourage i get encouraged right to go on stage more right it's more like you got to go on stage more you got to go up all the time you got to work harder while you get on stage dude you got to do stand-up go on the road get a headlining set exactly that's like a really good situation for you yeah for sure yeah but you know if she was married to some square dude who's like you know fucking accountant or something like that it's like you know her

interests and needs and and weirdness would probably be too much for him you know what i mean it's like you guys meet at the perfect time your weirdness and your comedy your creativity she understands it she gets it she gets what you're doing. She gets that this is going to result in you killing on stage. Whereas someone who doesn't see you as being successful enough thinks that they can fix you and mold you and turn you into something respectable. They can bring at parties. Oh, this is my boyfriend, Duncan. He's a professor at Cornell. What do you teach?

Well, you know, mostly ancient history. Some philosophy. Can I get you another drink? You know, you got history. Some philosophy. Can I get you another drink? You know, you got leather, those suede patches on your elbows. And you're just thinking about telling a great suck my cock joke and killing in front of a large crowd at the comedy store on a Friday night. A nice 10 o'clock spot. You're crushing. You're thinking about that while you're hanging out with some dildos.

Some stupid house where they eat French cheese and come in their pants wow the second part and then you watch two monkeys fuck i knew a dude from france and him and his wife became friends with them and they had me over for some weird dish that they have with non-pasteurized cheeses and he was like really adamant about that that they have with non-pasteurized cheeses. And he was like really adamant about that, that when they homogenize and pasteurize cheese in America, it fucks up the flavor. So he has to sneak this shit over. Illegal cheese.

Yeah. He actually sneaks it over. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He puts it in some, a container that says it's pasteurized or homogenized. They have people that will do it for him because it stinks and it's got all this bacteria in it. You know, it's, it's,urized or marginalized. They have people that will do it for them because it stinks and it's got all this bacteria in it.

But it's so good. I'm sorry, but that's what blue cheese is. You look at those crumbles, the blue cheese, the blue part, that's like fucking mold, man. Why would it be illegal, though, just because it's considered like a poison or something? It's a good question. I think it's a really good question. I think just for public health concerns, when you like raw

milk, it's like real dangerous. You can only keep it for a certain amount of time. You know, how long is it good for? I mean, regular milk is good for like a month. Raw milk can't be good for more than like seven or nine days or something like that, I would imagine. And, you know, people can get sick. You know, I think that's some of the theory behind it is that when you homogenize things, pasteurize them, you can them keep them on the shelf longer but that's also how you apparently cook the enzymes that's one of the reasons why people have lactose intolerance but some people with lactose intolerance can actually drink raw

milk and not have any problems with it weird yeah but raw milk tastes delicious dude raw whole milk it's like really it tastes really good like with Like with cookies, oh, it's the shit. It's so like rich and creamy and, you know, and it seems so alive when you drink it as opposed to like, you know, when you drink regular homogenized pasteurized milk. That's just like milk body. Yeah. That's dead milk. It's almost water. It's almost like just white water or something.

It's not. It's so weird. It comes from a cow. This cheese that i got in paris god you sound like a jerk when you talk like this you sound like such a jerk but this cheese i had it was like talk it was not it was not just like a little bit of mold like you'll get cheesy and you'll see the green stuff it was like flourishing mold like when you leave like just rising above the cheese just just like glowing with mold.

And it was so good. You just ate the mold. I ate it all. I ate the mold and all of it. Did you get any diarrhea or weird feelings? Yes. Oh, God. I don't even want to talk about it.

Really? I don't even want to talk about what I did do at Jazz Club. Why would you even eat that cheese? That I was there. Wait a minute. So you had all this delicious food and you got mad diarrhea. And you're trying to get us to eat it. It wasn't diarrhea.

It was something worse. Diarrhea is not the right name for it. Did your girl get it too? No, I don't think so. Did she eat the same stuff you ate? Yeah. If she got it, she didn't tell me. Well, good for her.

That's good for her. That's nice. She got CIA with it. No, but like, I don't want to tell a shit story. She's a good girl. It was very intense, what it did to my stomach. Dude, there's nothing wrong with a good shit story. I was in this jazz club in Paris.

And I have... First of all, if you say that to the right girl, you're in. Not when I followed up with this. Okay. What I did to the bathroom... Because when I got up after I'd finished... I'm trying to make this as not, when I was done with my shit and I looked back at the toilet, it was like a shit bazooka had come out of my, it was like everything was just covered. Everything. Like, it was crazy.

Where I panicked, I was like, oh, God, I got to get out of here. I got to get out of here. If someone walks in here now, I might get arrested. There's that much shit? I might get arrested. Like, they would arrest you for overshitting. Lock him in the clink. Do you know girls share poop pictures with each other just like guys do?

No. Really? They take pictures of their poop? I would imagine. Yeah, this is a new world. Women should be allowed the freedom of shocking people with their giant poops. I love it. I wish I could put them online. I wish I could put my pictures online.

That's a good picture. You can. Get the fuck out of here. Nothing's stopping you. Just intelligence. Hey, you're going to be in New Orleans. Nobody wants to see your shit, man. I don't want to show my ass. I get upset when I see people's shit. I don't know I'm going to be in New Orleans. Nobody wants to see your shit, man. I get upset when I see

people's shit. I don't know I'm going to see it. Yeah, I'm going to be in New Orleans. You've got to check out this restaurant in New Orleans. It's crazy. It's called Ocean's... Hold on, I'll tell you right now. I just started thinking about those catacombs. I'm freaking out again. Ocean what?

Ocean a restaurant. I just saw the show uh is that the one mencia owns you're trying to trick me is it really he owns something no no no no uh they were on that show i was talking about once at kitchen nightmares uh and you got to watch it season four last episode of season four but the guy on there is cycle and almost tried to beat up uh the chef and then the the the kitchen man or the head chef had like some seizure thing going on with his face and they fired him on the show anyways they're completely crazy and so sometimes when people are on that show i'll go on yelp to see if like their business

is still you know like in business and so i see what the reviews now are and on their yelp right now it's like 110 we came with 110 people we're trying to negotiate the bill. Manager went psycho, called cops on us, started throwing things, screaming. And so you watch this episode, and then you look at this Yelp. This might be the craziest fucking place ever to go to. Wow. You got it. And then you look at their website, and it's like a friendly website. It's the most happiest thing in the world.

It's crazy. Have you ever been there before? New Orleans? Yes, a long time ago. I was there for a UFC. It was in, who knows, Godwin. Nobody knew what the UFC was back then. It was during the news radio days. Yeah, I don't remember

much. I remember we put on some fights and left. I remember I ate at a restaurant and people were saying be careful, it's dangerous. That's what I kept hearing. Be careful, it's dangerous. People kept saying, yeah, be careful, it's dangerous. That's what I kept hearing. Wow. Be careful, it's dangerous. Yeah. Yeah, people kept saying, yeah, be careful, it's dangerous. People get robbed. Yeah.

There's apparently an extraordinary amount of crime around New Orleans. My dad would take me to New Orleans. He'd go to a bar. He'd give me like 60 bucks. I'd get fucking drunk and wander down the street and just take nitrous oxide hits. Hold on a second how old were you i think i was like 16 15 i don't know what that's what i used to do at 16 too yeah i would go down the street and get because you could buy nitrous oxide balloons so i i crackers uh this is

how bad a kid i was i spent all my money on a stripper and all these nitrous oxide balloons and some booze. So I know it was money that was supposed to last for a couple of days that my dad had given me. And then I told my dad I'd gotten mugged to get more money to spend on more nitrous oxide. Isn't that crazy? The Easy Whip Corporation, half of their profit is just from people, 16-year-olds, doing balloons. Isn't that crazy? Come on, half their profit? I mean, that's everything.

You can't say that. It has to be. I used to buy cases of that. Oh, I thought you were reading something online. Oh, I'm sure, man. I bet it's not even 1%. No way. No way.

No, 16-year-olds, all 16-year-olds do it. 1 out of 100. 1 out of 100. How many people do you know that make their own whipped cream? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Thank you, Duncan. I've made my own whipped cream.

It's awesome. Here's some homemade whipped cream, everyone. Enjoy. I made this myself. Listen, I have done it a couple times, and it is delicious. A couple times. I think most people buy the whipped stuff. Don't get me wrong.

I've made it a couple times. It's pretty badass. You gotta get one of those blender things where there's two whisks and they spin with each other and you get it a bowl and you add all the ingredients. I've done it a couple times. It's pretty dope. Real whipped cream tastes better. Because, you know, just... But, you know,

come on, man. I ain't making that shit. I don't have the time for that. No way. But the stuff that's in the cans, that doesn't taste as good. That doesn't taste as good as real whipped cream. Like, if you go to a real restaurant and you get some real whipped cream with strawberries, shazam. When I see a can of whipped cream, to this day, all I think about is how hot it can be. Me too.

Really? That's hilarious. That's all that comes to my mind when I see a can of whipped cream. I had a friend in high school introduce me to Whippets and after that I don't know if my parents thought I was trying to become a pastry chef or what the fuck they thought it was trying to do.

In Ohio they sold it everywhere too. They used to sell it at video stores. Whippets. You'd come in and buy a cracker, a balloon and the easy whip at a video store. That's how popular it was in columbus yeah and so what is it is it there's no whipped cream in it then it's just the air no no it's just the air that you use to screw on the machines that would pump the air out like to go you learn how to do it you don't shake it up you buy it and you don't shake it up because the gas rises at the top so you just do it right off the top when you

first do it. I'm talking about these little canisters that you put in a thing and then you put a balloon on it and crack it. He's talking about sucking the whipped cream. Yeah, I never did that. That seems more like wasting your time. So you're talking about just some nitrous oxide in a little container.

They sell Easy Whips. Is that what it's called? Nitrous oxide? No. Is that what it is? It's nitrous, i know too yeah it's nitrous yeah i think nitrous oxide right uh but yeah and they come in these little containers and they come you buy and buy the case and each balloon then you have that metal cracker that looks kind of like something like a camping gear thing where you unscrew it and you put it in close it you put the balloon on one side and you crack it and it just fills a whole balloon and then you just take the balloon when i was a kid i worked at at one of those ice cream places.

It's called Newport's Creamery. Newport Creamery, they serve like cheeseburgers and shit. I was a cook for a little while, and I got fucking horrible zits from that. That's the nastiest ever. But I also scooped ice cream and made ice cream sundaes, and we would have to go replenish the containers because they would make their own whipped cream. So they had these giant fucking containers of nitric oxide, oxide and everyone was a burnout they would all go back there and

get you do it let's greet i only did it once i didn't like it that was my i was scared of drugs days that was all my martial arts days you know what that sound is don't you yeah god's helicopter is that what happens when you do the um the nitric trip your sound just starts going in waves you hear that that's what it sounds like okay any truth to the fact that shit instantly makes you retarded it must yeah yeah it seems like it would fuck you up hardcore but it's not as bad as is as disc cleaner like like i also when i couldn't find a nitrous, I would get disc cleaner, like, for keyboards and stuff like that. That shit was way worse.

I remember doing that and going, wow, this is horrible. Are you talking about Amyl Nitrate that they sell at video stores? No, no, no, no. He's talking about the spray. The spray. They use the spray on keyboards. I don't think they have it anymore. I think it's air now.

This shit. Yeah, this is it. Oh, no. Not that. Get high for us. Don't do that. Don't do it, please. I'm just kidding. Maybe they put different stuff in there. I don't think that's it. no, not that. Get high for us. Don't do that. Don't do it, please. I'm just kidding.

I think that's just canned air. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think they make it anymore. Maybe not. I don't know. It's a sentry duster. Maybe. I kind of feel a little lightheaded.

So what would that stuff do to you? It would do almost the same thing as nitrous, but it was grosser. Like, after you're done, you're like, ugh, that's nasty. It seems like it's what you're experiencing is just oxygen being cut out of your bloodstream and your body almost dying. Yeah. Think about how many different ways people have sought to achieve altered states of consciousness. Huffing paint. Hanging themselves and jerking off while they wear lingerie.

Yeah, how about that? I was watching the wonderful whites of West Virginia again on the plane, and one of the things they were talking about was Jesco and how much gasoline he sniffed. That he huffed so much gasoline he could tell the difference between regular and high test. He doesn't have to look at the sign. And he was talking about how he huffed gasoline

for ten years. Oh my god. Have you seen My Strange Addiction? No, what is that? It's a show on TLC and one of the episodes is a woman who's addicted to sniffing gasoline. Oh my god. I wake up in the morning and sniff gas. She's like super hooked on it so her house is just filled

with like old bottles of like gas and she brings in gas. She spends all her money on gas. She's a gal. She's just addicted to huffing gas. She loves it. What the fuck is that? Is that psychological? It must be, right?

Yeah, because she's like... Can you get addicted? Yeah, you can... I mean, shit, watch that episode. Is it she's addicted or she craves it, kind of like that disease

where you crave eating dirt? If you've been huffing gas for 15 years, you're crazy. Yeah, but what I'm saying is does it become physically addictive? Like, they think

that Amy Winehouse, one of the speculations is that Amy Winehouse died because she tried to quit alcohol cold turkey, which can happen to people. Yeah. But they know that happens to people. They also found medication in her room. Who knows? But you're right. It's very possible. But my point is that it is possible for that to happen.

They know that that's a documentable occurrence. People just quit. They die. Oh, yeah. You need to wean yourself off the alcohol. Totally. It's too a documentable occurrence when people just quit they they die oh yeah to wean yourself off the alcohol it's too much stress on your system to just quit you can kill you that's amazing delirium trimmings you hallucinate and you die and that shit it's probably probably several drugs that are like that very addictive drugs that are like that yeah there's antidepressants that if you get off of you'll you'll get vertigo dude have you seen the fucking commercials for that game deuce dude something x the one where like people

cyborgs oh it's a new video game what the fuck man i watched that it's an insane dose x dose x i think that's how you say it but yeah that's a a really old game man and this is uh the newest version of this really old concept that was like a really wicked game if man. And this is the newest version of this really old concept that was like a really wicked game, if I remember. It was made by the same guys that made Daikatana. It was like this faction of id software that broke off, and there was this character, I think his name was Romero, and he started this company, and they made two games,

and one of them had all this hype behind it. It was called Daikatana, and I thought it was pretty badass it was great like deathmatch style he was like a quake one guy he was with quake from the very beginning but this other game they made this dose x i'm pretty sure it's the same company and this game was apparently wicked dude fucking the commercial have you seen the commercial with the cyborgs begging because they are they're on this drug that you have to be on or your body rejects the cybernetic part? No. So it's all these people with, like, cyborg arms or, like, hookers with cyborg legs begging because they have to pay for this medicine that you have to take to keep yourself alive.

And it's got – I don't know what the game plays like because this seems like just pure CGI, like, movie making. So I don't know what the game plays like. This seems like just pure CGI movie making. So I don't know what the game plays like. Is it an Xbox game or a PC game? I don't know. What game? Dose X. How do you spell it? I don't know how to spell it.

Spell it a weird way. D-E-U-E. D-E-U-X. It's got an X in it. Yeah, if you look up Cy... It was a computer game, but I think they also ported it over to something. It was a couple years ago, right? Probably.

Yeah, it was a long time ago. No, this one's coming out this month. The first one came out a long time ago. I might be confused with linking it up with the people from Daikatana. Sorry, Uber nerds and geeks, if I've steered you wrong. Do you remember Daikatana? No. It's pretty dope.

It was fun. It was disappointing to a lot of people because they thought that it was kind of derivative, you know, a bunch of other games that existed. But to me, it was pretty fucking fun. Especially the deathmatch was really fun. I don't need any other game than StarCraft 2. You don't like fast Twitch games like Quake? StarCraft 2 is fast Twitch.

You got some fast as shit. Look at you, you got all defensive. Did you notice? 2v2 Gold League. He got a little defensive. Did you notice? 2v2 Gold League. He got a little defensive, right? He did. I did. I love that game.

He's a dick. You're like, StarCraft 2 is fast, Twitch. I'm in a constant argument with everyone over StarCraft 2. They think I'm a total dork. Why is that? Well, for one, playing StarCraft 2 is like they think I'm a nerd. How much are you playing? StarCraft 2?

Yeah, how often? Not as much as a Korean, often not as much as a Korean but not as much as a Chinese I don't know three I'll admit three games a day there's a lot of people

right now saying that that's racist but he's meanwhile ladies and gentlemen listen to the context of using it he's saying it's awesome yeah

saying it's awesome yeah but let's be honest Asians love that game they do they do right Koreans love that game they're they do right koreans love that game right don't they have like they we've talked about this before yeah they've like televised

things it's the first time i feel like i've been able to watch something akin to sports and really get excited about it because they just had this big tournament and they have like famous players and it was really cool to watch these two famous players uh compete against each other knowing the game having played it seeing the crazy tricks they're using and the crazy control they have over so many uh variables it's amazing to watch and then it's so funny because i was thinking like athletes of the future are all going to be fat fat and pale because like they cut to these guys who just played this insane game that's like required so much brainpower to control this stuff.

And since all they do is play computers, they're kind of emotionless. Like you cut to like a UFC fighter after he just knocked someone out. And it's like watching Julius Caesar march into a city that he's just defeated. It's fucking, you're watching glory. When you got cut to a Starcraft 2 fighter player who's just won a game it's just kind of like one of them took his shirt off because underneath it he was wearing a shirt that was like kind of insulting and he's like yeah then walked over and like shook the guy's hand oh good job and that's it but meanwhile they just did this crazy thing where

they were controlling i never played the game i've watched the things online. It's the best game of all time. I don't understand what's happening, so I can't appreciate it. You know what I mean? It's the greatest game. It's like SimCity in space. It looks pretty crazy. It looks like you've got to do a lot of different things, and you're moving around a lot of different shit,

and you're setting things up all over the place. Yeah. The idea is you're building up this economy by gathering resources. And while you're building this economy, you're also constructing an army that has to be based on what your opponent's doing. So you can't just do the same thing over and over again. You have to scout what your opponent's doing.

And from seeing what they're doing, you understand what their strategy probably is. And then you have to like create a perfect um a perfect offense to what they're doing while building a defense that works against the type of troops they're constructing because it might not always it you you have to be completely reactive and you have to be able to do all of this well it's like juggling you're juggling all these crazy balls at once and you have to be able to do this and also instantaneously react to shit that you don't expect to happen. Isn't it crazy that the most satisfying game is a virtual representative of war?

Yeah, totally. They pretty much all are. Yeah. Isn't that amazing? All that Battlefield, Earth, Call of Duty, Quake. Mario Brothers. Unreal Tournament. The Mario Wars are so bloody. quake mario brothers unreal tournament the mario wars it's all some sort of a futuristic or you

know ancient war yeah it's either like world war ii or something like that or it's fucking futuristic something yeah what the fuck you read that book war by sebastian younger where there's a disc where he does he describes what that's like to be behind a fucking machine gun blasting people. Like he does this incredible description of it. And the adrenaline that that creates is like amazing. But I'll tell you something else that creates adrenaline. When I do a ten-pool rush into my opponent's base and my fucking speedlings encircle his base and devour it. And then he has the audacity to text me and

say that i was doing cheese moves that's the greatest feeling ever i see it and i believe it and i think that if i got into it i'd fucking love it too i see the connection you would but i can't go there i gotta delete it i i'm deleting it. I think pool for me is a form of like a moving meditation. When I'm running out, when I play pool, I'm using my body as well. And that's one of the things that I like about it the most, that I'm forcing my mind to control the exact amount of force my body exerts on a piece of wood that impacts a ball that collides it into another ball and moves around. In order to do it right, I have to be in total tune with the amount of revolutions I'm causing this ball to turn over a nine-foot table. I mean, that's what I'm trying to control. So to get into that real groove of being dead stroke where you really feel the movement,

it really is like a form of meditation. So that's why I prefer it over video games. I had to pick my poison. I had to pick my poison. I had to pick what thing am I allowing myself to be addicted to. And I think I get more out of the pool than I did out of the video games. The video games was fun as fuck, man. I love them to this day. But I can't play.

Have you played any of the Kinect games? There's a game right now called Child of Eden. And if you fucking smoke some good weed or take some shrooms and stand in front of that game you will fucking fall feel like you're doing virtual reality if i'm alone at home i'll fire up gears of war for a goof just going to fucking rampage because it's fun because it's just graphics are so dope so wild seeing these fucking monsters that they've created i'll do that for fun on the big screen but yeah man you gotta moderate it that's a. It's so fucking addictive. And it's so easy to get lost in it.

It's really bad. Lost. Lost. But yet, it's so fucking fun. And who is to say that that fun is less real than the fun that you get actually out there playing basketball? I'll say it. Can I say it? Yeah, me too. You think it's less real yeah me too i think

it's less real yes but why what if you're just in tune and dominating i'll tell you why why because when i get done with an addictive session of world of warcraft and i've been playing or i'm sorry i used to be addicted to that to starcraft too when i get up after playing that game for like three or four hours straight and walk outside, I feel like I'm mentally disabled. I feel drained. My sleep sucks. When I fucking go to the gym or go jogging or do something like that, I feel great for the rest of the day. So video games are amazing. And weirdly, games that involve

strategy i think you can extrapolate some information from that that you can use in real life but you got to do it in very small doses it's like that that seems like the responsibility of human beings we've got this incredible brand new technology that's exploding in front of us the the discipline is not to reject it totally like Like those assholes when you're like, I don't even have a cell phone. It's not to reject it. The idea is to moderate it. Learn how to use it like a tool. How do you do it?

That's what everything is. It's like when I said I was addicted to City of Heroes. I used to always fantasize about jumping on from building to building just because I had been playing that video game so much. And that was something I was doing repetitively all day, all night. If you drop me off in the middle of a castle and it looked like the scenes from Quake 1, I might start pretending I'm a rocket launcher. That'd be so funny. I might start talking like one of those Quake characters.

Running down hallways with rocket launchers. That's awesome. Duncan, as usual, you're the best. You're the best, man. No, you're the best, man're the best man that was too much fun too interesting and I'm going to enjoy all the taped phone conversations that the FBI will be tuning in to you and myself

and all of our ideas get ready to get bored FBI I only have these conversations here my phone conversations suck have fun with that thank you to the Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast. If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name Rogan, and you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.

Thank you, everybody who came out to the show in Milwaukee. Thanks to everybody who sang Happy Birthday to me. That was one of the coolest things that I've ever had happen in my life. It was pretty fun. Milwaukee was the shit. I had a great time next big road gig is Denver Colorado September 23rd at the Paramount Theatre and that's me and Joey motherfucking Diaz it's not it's not a New Orleans is New Orleans in between that September 23rd when is New Orleans? It is, hold on, I'll tell you right now.

I don't know my own schedule. The 16th of September? 9-16-2011. Okay, so there. 9-16-2011. Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be at the House of Blues in New Orleans. Get there early, because some people are going to have to stand up, unfortunately. There was no

other way I could get a show there. There was no other place. Do not get the stand-up seats. You will hate it. It sucks. It sucks standing up. But I'll try to be as energetic as possible. I instituted a policy when Brian and I went to see Doug Stanhope,

where we enjoyed the fuck out of Stanhope, as always, but it wasn't fun to stand and watch a show. So I decided, you know what, I'm being rude asking people to stand and watch my shows. Like from now on I'm going to make sure that every show I do, people are seated. But there was no places in town. There was nothing I could do. There was, like, small places that were, like, 50 seats or,

you know, the House of Blues. So we're going to do the House of Blues, and it's a rare seating and standing show, and that's September. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Go to JoeRogan.net for details. All right. Can I invite someone to a show? Fuck yeah. I'm in L.A. tonight. Laugh Factory.

Tomorrow night. What time? Comedy Store. Thursday, The Improv. Come to one of these shows and say hi, please. Yeah, please do. And Brian, what is this? You're doing a show at The Improv?

I'll be at The Improv tonight at 10 o'clock. And if you use the coupon code RED, you get free tickets. I'm going to retweet that shit right now if anybody is interested. Anyone want to go heckle Brian? Don't do that. He's trying to get real good at that. He's like a ninja up there. All right, thank you very much for tuning in.

We've got to figure out when. Hopefully I'm going to get Kevin Smith for the rest of this week, and we've got to make nice nights with Jay Moore. Brian and Jay Moore had issues, but Jay Moore's being very nice about it. So we must, in the spirit of forgiveness and peacefulness, bring him on. And he's a very talented guy anyway. All right. That's it.

That's the end of the show. I love you guys. And thank you very much for everything. And go fuck yourselves. How about that? I'm being too nice to you. You're getting soft. You're getting soft there, freakies.

Love you guys. Thank you very much. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.