The Joe Rogan Experience - #1303 - Tommy Chong

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Tommy Chong is a Canadian-American actor, writer, director, musician, activist for cannabis-rights and comedian. ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Tommy Chong, ladies and gentlemen. How are you, sir? I'm fine, man. It's great to see you again, man. You too, Joe. I tell everybody that one of my first ever experiences with comedy recordings was listening to Big Bamboo when I was a kid. My parents had it, and they'd let us listen to it.
Starting point is 00:00:21 We'd open it up like a big old packet of rolling papers and pull out the albums back then, the actual record. So I've been a fan for a long time. I can tell, man. I can tell. How are you? The lover of the weed. I'm fine, man. I couldn't be better.
Starting point is 00:00:40 I'll be 81 Friday. Wow. That's amazing. Does that sound crazy to say? Because I'm 51. That sounds crazy to say. When I say it, I'm like, Jesus, Wow. That's amazing. Does that sound crazy to say? Because I'm 51. That sounds crazy to say. When I say it, I'm like, Jesus, is that true? Fuck.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I'm 30 years older than you. Wow. Wow. That's something. But I feel good, man. All the systems are go again. And that makes a big difference in your life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:02 That's what I found out. The fountain of youth is the pussy. That's it? Yeah. That's all it is? Drink it at the fountain of youth, you know. Yeah. That's what I found out. The fountain of youth is the pussy. That's it? Yeah. That's all it is? Drink it at the fountain of youth and you'll live forever. Really? Yep.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Okay. Yeah. What about if you're gay? Well, I guess. Long pause. Yeah, I had to think about that one. Well, I guess. It might be dick for them.
Starting point is 00:01:22 I guess it, no. No, no, it has to be no, no It has to be the fountain It has to be the fountain So even for gay folks It's got to be pussy too? Well, how long What's the longest living gay guy That you know?
Starting point is 00:01:34 That's a good question Huh Like Bob Hope, man Was he gay? No At least At least one night I knew he was. No, that's my fond of youth.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Yeah. You know, because it. Sure, romance. Well, what happens is your body, when it reaches a certain stage, it starts disintegrating because it's getting ready for the recall and the reboot. Yeah. And you get a new body and away you go again. But if you keep this body healthy, it feels that there's no need to leave because you obviously
Starting point is 00:02:16 still got more shit to do. Yeah, you're still enjoying it. Yeah, you're still producing. Are you exercising and everything? Oh, yeah. Yeah, what do you do? I got a trainer now. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:02:26 But my main exercise is tango. Tango? Tango. Really? I will turn you on to tango. Tango is old folks' sex. The whole thing about tango is it's so intricate. The original tango was a mating dance from Africa.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Really? And what they would do, the tribes, the young kids, would get together and dance and flirt with their feet. And so when the slaves got taken from Africa and put on the boats and that, they ended up crossing the foot dance with the Adagio French dance, the dance of the brothels. And so then they ended up with a music
Starting point is 00:03:14 or a dance called tango, which was a combination. Tango itself is a word that means small drum. It's an African drum. Just like mambo, it's an African word that drum just like mambo it's an african word that means uh storytelling really yeah dude story time with tommy chung oh yeah man i was in jail i had i had nothing but time and i wrote a whole paper on tango so anyway tango like i go to argentina with my wife a lot and it's very tough dance to dance with your wife you have to dance with a stranger
Starting point is 00:03:46 and she has to dance with a stranger why is that i think it's you're too intimate too personal you know each other too well if you're a stranger then all you can respond to is the dance signals. Like the man has to lead, but he has to lead in such a way that you can't see him. You know, he can't pull her around. He suggests. Oh, okay. And so he'll suggest a certain move, and then the girl, his partner, will understand that move,
Starting point is 00:04:22 and then she can do a couple of steps. And that, a certain way. Like one is called the, fuck, I can't remember the term, ochos, ochos, which means back and forth. And out of those combinations, once the guy gets the girl going into ochos, for instance, then he can move on to another. He'll stop her with his foot, and then he'll move on to another series of moves. And they're all designed.
Starting point is 00:04:55 But the stranger, you know, the woman has to really listen to the moves if she's dancing with a stranger or a teacher. And that's how. And then it has to be a close embrace. And the woman has to be cuddled up against the guy. Not always, but for the most part. So you're not looking at your feet at all. And it's all about feel. And so you have to feel the other person's body.
Starting point is 00:05:23 And it can get so intimate, man, that you really felt after a good dance with a good tango teacher, you really feel like having a cigarette. Really? And relaxing for a bit. Did you study this? Did you take classes? I got turned on to it in Paris. turned on to it in Paris. I was, Chichi and I were finishing up the Corsican Brothers,
Starting point is 00:05:47 and we got offered to do the Siskel Kid. And they sent me the script, and in the script it said tango dancers. And so my wife and I, girlfriend at the time, but wife now, we used to drive by this place that said tango and neon lights.
Starting point is 00:06:03 And so we stopped and took our first tango lesson from this George and Rosie, a couple there. And George was too old to get out of bed. He was in his 90s or something. He was in bed. Rosie came and met us, and she showed us the first little bit of tango. Well, my wife, Shelby, who was an excellent dancer, she's been studying dance, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:28 ever since I can remember, you know. And so she started doing salsa first, and then I found out about that, and I had to learn salsa. But then we started learning tango together. And then she went on to really learn how to dance how to dance with the pros me i'm still struggling to be a pro and it's very hard it's like mma fighting you know like she's a pro i'm an amateur and so when i when we go down to buenos aires like we went down for a
Starting point is 00:07:00 birthday um i was the video operator because i didn't know how to dance that well. I take lessons almost 20 years now, but I still don't have the skills to be a professional like that. Yeah, so I went down and videotaped her, and then I came back and I made a vow. I said, this is embarrassing because people know me from years ago, and I still can't dance. So it's about time that I learned. So I gave up everything to learn tango.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Really? What did you give up? Golf more than anything. Really? Yeah. There's a lot of guys right now that are going crazy. Why would you give up golf for tango? Well, actually, it worked out really well.
Starting point is 00:07:47 I played a tournament golf last week, and I did the best I've ever done. If you lay off something, you forget all your bad habits. Oh, that's true, too. And you're probably really enthusiastic about playing it again. Oh, I loved it. I did good. I got about two pars. Incredible for me. I got about two pars. Incredible for me.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I got about a 36 handicap, something like that. But I gave up golf because it's too much energy. It's taking too much energy. Sure. You got to walk around all the time. Yeah. I would also imagine that the tango dancing, all the movement and the footwork would actually probably make you more steady and stable, balance better.
Starting point is 00:08:22 So it'd probably make your golf game better. Oh, it did. Totally. I noticed that with yoga. stable, balanced better. So it'd probably make your golf game better. Oh, it did. Totally. I noticed that with yoga. Yoga makes pool better in some weird way. It makes you stand stronger. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Well, there's also a pause. In comedy, someone asked me about the secret of comedy. I said, it's a pause. And the tango is a pause, too. The timing. The timing. The timing. Waiting. Waiting.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Waiting. And using that silence before you say something to give people a time to formulate their own thoughts about what you're doing or to concentrate on what you're going to say next. And that's the same thing with tango. Is this you? Yeah. Look at you. That's me with Peter. Were you Tangled Is this you? Yeah Look at you Oh, that's me with Peter Were you on Dancing with the Stars?
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah Oh, shit How hard was that to do? Oh, it was incredible Look at you, carrying her, everything What the hell is going on here? Good Lord What are you saying to her there?
Starting point is 00:09:21 We did it, we did it, we did it Wow You got Randy Couture crying I got a tin It looked like Randy was crying What are you saying to her there? We did it. We did it. We did it. Wow. You got Randy Couture crying. I got a 10. It looked like Randy was crying. Yeah. What's his name? Kevin Hart.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Kevin Hart was the judge. Yeah. He gave me a 10. Oh, that's amazing. That was the only 10 I got. Look at, look at. She had to carry me off there. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Oh, man. That tore my butt up, man. I imagine literally serious fucking training for that. I, man. That tore my butt up, man. I imagine literally serious fucking training for that. I came off that with rectal cancer. Whoa. Yeah. I found out on that show.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Wow. You don't think you got it from dancing? I think I got it from no smoking and the stress. From no smoking weed? No smoking weed. I quit smoking weed during the stress. From no smoking weed? No smoking weed. I quit smoking weed during the show. Why'd you do that? I thought it would help me with my... Coordination or something?
Starting point is 00:10:15 Well, with my being there. Concentration? Listening, you know. Yeah. Because... It's hard to learn things when you're stoned sometimes. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, like in jujitsu,
Starting point is 00:10:24 most people agree that it's not a good idea to smoke pot when you're stoned sometimes that's what i'm saying yeah like in jujitsu uh most people agree that it's not a good idea to smoke pot when you're learning skills but it's a good idea to smoke pot when you have the skills yeah yeah it'll calm you down yeah when you roll and you already know what to do it's like instinctive then you can smoke some pot yeah but like learning like if someone shows me a new move and i'm high i can't even figure out where the body's going like wait where's your arm like How am I doing this? You get too high. And then what am I doing?
Starting point is 00:10:47 You get baffled. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the same as Tango. Well, look. So you really think that that happened to you because of that? See, I had prostate cancer and it was a kind of prostate. It was so slow acting.
Starting point is 00:11:01 The lazy ass doctor said, well, we won't do it. We'll just leave it alone and you'll probably die of something else before that happens. And so that was his attitude. That was their attitude. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It happens all the time, you know, because, you know, prostate can be very slow. And I had a slow one.
Starting point is 00:11:18 And but I had a biopsy when I had to find out because I was going to do the growth hormone. biopsy when I had to find out because I was going to do the growth hormone. And that's why I checked out my blood to make sure I, you know, I didn't have cancer. Found out I had prostate cancer and, but they did a biopsy and I think that could have done it, you know, do a biopsy. They come and take a piece of your. So you think that taking a biopsy could have caused damage, which could have led to cancer? Could have, could have caused the cancer cell to led to cancer could have could have uh caused the cancer cell to to hit the rectum the way it did and so i got a bag now i got a colostomy bag you
Starting point is 00:11:52 know so but now i'm i'm totally healed now and and i'm i'm good to go you know the only thing and so i don't know if it was the the lack weed and the stress and the fact that I had prostate, you know. So when they fixed the rectal, and I got one of the best doctors, Kajandian. What did they have to do? They had to operate. They had to take out, change the plumbing from the back to the front. That's a colostomy bag. So I have no more rectum.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Wow. So I'm a virgin again. I'm kidding. And then you put the bag around to the front, and that's all they did there. And then I had, but what they did, they swept the prostate clean with radiation. They said, we're down there anyway,
Starting point is 00:12:44 so we might as well do their prostate too. So they fixed the prostate clean with radiation. They said, we're down there anyway, so we might as well do their prostate too. So they fixed the prostate. And thank God I never had it taken out because now I can, I got the sleeping giant is awoke again. Sleeping giant? Yeah. I woke the sleeping giant up.
Starting point is 00:13:01 I think it was the weed that did it too, plus my gorgeous wife. But yeah, I started getting these urges and I thought, oh, what's happening here? And I'm doing testosterone. That's probably what did it. Yeah, the testosterone. And then I'm going in for a shot tomorrow. It's a new procedure that they use apparently to help induce labor
Starting point is 00:13:25 because it's all about blood flow down there. And so it's going to induce. I tried pills. I tried Viagra. It doesn't work enough. And so I'm going in tomorrow for an injection of some help to blood flow to help the giant get a little more awake. Now, when you went to jail, you had a, and your case was horrible.
Starting point is 00:13:49 I mean, it was so depressing to hear that you were going to jail for making bongs. Yeah. I mean, it just, the whole thing was so sick and that they were threatening to put your family in jail and that's why they sent you to jail. You couldn't smoke pot for a while after that, right? For years. How long? Probably three years. Because you're on probation probation pre-probation before you went to jail pre-pre-trial because if you get caught then you end up getting tortured well the whole time i was there nine months i was
Starting point is 00:14:18 there i couldn't smoke they tested me all the time they tried to catch me and they had nothing to catch and then a year after that i was on probation and i never smoked i can quit you know i got willpower you know i can quit i quit smoking i quit drinking i quit eating bad food but you had to wreck well one thing that happened that was great was that you became even more of a hero to the cannabis community because people knew yeah you truly were a martyr. And it was outrageous. And it was so wrong that even people that didn't smoke pot were like,
Starting point is 00:14:53 how the fuck are you arresting Tommy Chong? Like, come on, man. Like, all the terrorists in the world, the criminals, the rapists, the murderers. I know. You're going to put Tommy Chong in jail. Yeah. Like, what are we, protecting or serving? What are we doing here?
Starting point is 00:15:04 Which one? Which one is that? Yeah, they were just showing off. Showing off. Setting a message. Once I got in there, I was in there with a lot of people that were unjustly incarcerated. I was in there with the orthopedic surgeon for the Rams. And he had been in attacks.
Starting point is 00:15:24 And he had been in a tax. It was legal at the time he did it, which was that he had a big car collection. And he rode off the car collection somehow. And then the IRS changed people. And next thing you know, they came to him and said, you owe all this money. And if you don't pay it, you've got to go to jail. And he couldn't pay it, so he went to jail. He's an orthopedic surgeon.
Starting point is 00:15:52 He's like one of the straightest guys I ever met. And there was another guy that figured out the OJ tax scheme. You know how OJ can keep his money from the NFL? Because he's in Florida? Yeah, well, it's a law that, a loophole that allowed O.J. to keep his taxes. I mean, tax-free money.
Starting point is 00:16:15 And so this accountant figured out how to do it, and he started getting rich people so they didn't have to pay taxes. And so rather than to change the law or do anything like that, they just put his ass in jail because they could. And they put him in there for a year. And he wasn't doing anything illegal?
Starting point is 00:16:33 Nothing illegal. And then they told him, you're going to get out in a year, but you're not going to do that tax thing anymore. Wow. Yeah. No one knows the government. The IRS is creepy. You do not want to do that tax thing anymore. Wow. Yeah. No, no, the government. The IRS is creepy. You do not want to owe them money.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Especially if you're Trump. Oh, well, they're coming after him right now, right? What are they coming after him for now? Like New York State is allowing Congress to subpoena his tax returns? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Deutsche Bank. They got his accountant.
Starting point is 00:17:04 His accountant has nothing to do with the federal government. I tell everybody, why would you want to be president? Why would you want to do that to yourself? Unless you're super clean. Even if you're super clean, they're going to make shit up about you. No, the only reason Trump did it is because he owes Putin so much money. You think so? Oh, for sure. For sure. How this loser billionaire get get financed over and over and over again and guess who's laundering money like crazy from russia the guy that needs
Starting point is 00:17:34 the money no the whole trump family's going to go down you think so oh for sure taxes man al capone to donald trump you can't evade taxes so do you think that he owes taxes that he owes putin he owes putin so much money that he's scared to death how do you know this common sense oh okay so it's a guess oh no it figured Okay. Let's go down the history. Comey is a FBI. Right. Mueller, FBI. Trump was attacking Obama with the birther. Obama's the president.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Obama's got control of the FBI, CIA, everybody. So Obama said, okay, find out about this Trump guy. So they found out about him. But the thing is, they can't really do anything unless he becomes president. Other than that, he'd just walk away free. No one gives a shit. No one cares. You can't do anything unless he becomes president? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Or you mean the FBI can't do anything? No, there's no breaking the law. There's no law that says that you can't deal with Russia. Right. Only law says you can't deal with Russia and be the president of the United States at the same time. Right. The only time he would break any laws is if he became president.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Right. And he has to become president. And he became president. Right. And he has to become president. And he became president, thanks to Comey. Because Hillary was going to win. No matter what they say, Hillary was going to win. Until Comey said, oh, some new stuff came up. And they knew. They knew back in Obama time that there was nothing really wrong that Hillary did.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Nothing. Nothing. Well, they told her to release emails and she deleted 30,000 of them. So? But she wasn't supposed to do that. That's illegal. And she was using her own personal email server instead of the government's. But it was out of laziness and convenience more than more than uh
Starting point is 00:19:46 anything illegal you know she wasn't looking to get financed to her hotel by the russians you know she wasn't looking for money her and bill had money they got money yeah yeah it's a little fishy little little stinky stuff around there but but it's normal it's it's uh normal politics so so my theory is is that comey and the fbi said let's get this guy so you think they let him become president so they can get him i think bar is part of the part of the the the comey gang this you know what's going to be hilarious about this this video when people watch this, they're going to go, how high is Tommy Chong? Tommy Chong thinks that Comey made Trump president so they could prosecute him. That's an interesting theory.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I don't know if I buy it. But think about it. I don't think anybody's controlling the strings that well. I don't think the puppeteers are that good. Listen, look at everybody that was around Trump that became chief of staff and everything else. Right. All military. Right. Why?
Starting point is 00:20:48 Why? Because Trump's got his finger on the button. He's got ability to get on the button. And so in order to keep him in line, they got people around him that can keep him in line. Yeah? Yeah. And the FBI, they can infiltrate anything. They infiltrated the mob for years. They infiltrated the mob for years.
Starting point is 00:21:06 They infiltrated the Hell's Angels. Do you think they couldn't infiltrate Donald Trump's gang? But do you think they were trying to? Absolutely. Just because him going after Obama with the birther stuff? It's a start. Yeah? You mess with the president.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Look at that. But a lot of people were saying he was from Kenya. Right? There was some ridiculous Photoshop analysis of his birth certificate. Anything to keep a black guy from being a president. And that's what they found out. And the FBI and the federal laws against racism, and that's pretty strict. It's pretty heavy until Trump got in. So anyway, this is my theory.
Starting point is 00:21:47 That's some stony-ass theory right there. Yeah, like I really feel that Giuliani is part of the scheme to keep Trump, you know. Why? With hope. Well, he gives him hope. You know, hey, they can't look at your taxes. You're the president, for Christ's sake. You know, you're the president, for Christ's sake.
Starting point is 00:22:07 You're the supreme leader. Well, he does have, there's some things they won't do when you're in office. Absolutely. They won't indict you for certain things once you're in office. And so they plan it. Well, look at what Mueller said. He says, I'm going to hand this off to the Congress. You can impeach him.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Here's all the evidence you need to impeach him. And now the Democrats, they got to figure out, are we going to impeach him. Here's all the evidence you need to impeach him. And now the Democrats, they got to figure out, are we going to impeach him, go through that, or are we just going to go to the election and beat his ass in the election and then arrest him after the election? Who do you think is going to beat him in the election? Anybody. Anybody? You think Joe Biden can beat him? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 Really? Oh, yeah. You are high, huh? No. Strong. Weed. Weed. You are high, huh? No. Strong, weed. Where are you getting it? Well, look at the Trump backers, for instance. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Can you find one thinker in that backing group? Well, I mean, who are we talking about? Same thing. You know, can think. Racism binds you. Right. But which people are we talking about? Rac is ignorance it's it's a form of ignorance i've got it in i had it in my family you know so i know exactly i've been i've been you know
Starting point is 00:23:14 kissing close to racist and i know that mentality and so pure ignorance yeah pure ignorance and ignorance doesn't stop with one thing it carries on on to a lot of other things, like work and all sorts of things. And so when you look at the people that are opposing Trump, you know, the women, the kids, the intellectuals, the liberals, progressives, all those people, they want a good future for our country. The other ones, they just want to keep everybody else out or perceived enemies. It's perceived enemies, like anybody with a gun. That's the whole thing. If you have a gun, you're not very intelligent why is that
Starting point is 00:24:06 because you're paranoid you're wait a minute if you have a gun you're not intelligent because you're paranoid having a gun means that you're afraid that someone's going to come and and attack you you know right and and so that having a gun is like they want to arm teachers, for instance. That seems kind of crazy. Yeah. That is so stupid. It is so dumb. Right.
Starting point is 00:24:33 You know. And just like the ones that know about guns, like the cops that didn't go into the school, they knew the guy's got an AK. They're not going to go into that school with their little pistols. And so they didn't go into the school. And the ones that rushed the guy, they're not going to go into that school with their little pistols. And so they didn't go into the school. And the ones that rushed the guy, they ended up dying. So what I'm saying is that if you have a gun, if you think you need a gun for your house, for whatever,
Starting point is 00:25:02 if you think you have something that's worth someone else's life, then you are ignorant. Well, I don't necessarily think that's what they think. They don't think that the gun is worth someone else's life life they think they don't want to get their life taken by a home invasion yeah which does happen did you see that video of the the guy that had a raccoon on his boat no he had a raccoon on his boat yeah he was he saw a pet raccoon and he and he no it was a wild raccoon and he filmed it and he's 20 miles out in the sea and he sees this raccoon. And so he filmed himself kicking the raccoon off the boat. Into the ocean?
Starting point is 00:25:32 Into the ocean. He filmed it. And then he posted it because he had no idea how ignorant that was. He had no idea. Was the raccoon dangerous? Was it trying to bite the raccoon? It will fuck you up raccoon Will fuck you up They will fuck you up
Starting point is 00:25:46 Oh sure Sure But like The wildlife The wildlife guys The wildlife guys said Just get a blanket Throw it over
Starting point is 00:25:53 And put him in the In the bathroom Until you get close to shore And then kick him off Yeah You know But this guy Right away
Starting point is 00:25:59 He freaked out This is my boat Get off my boat Terrible way For a raccoon to die Well see That's a form of ignorance that I'm talking about. It's also just fear.
Starting point is 00:26:09 It's fear. That's what fear is. Fear is ignorance. Right. But if someone has a gun in their house to protect themselves from home invasions, home invasions do happen. And people have saved their family with guns. That's a real thing.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Well, you don't read about that much. Oh, you read about it plenty if you go looking for it. Really? Yeah. There's plenty of stories if you look at the the overall there's they have like a pie chart of gun violence in this country and an unfortunately large number is suicides when they start talking about how many people have died unfortunately large number of suicide by gun and i feel like if people are going to kill themselves with a gun they probably kill themselves with pills or anything else if they had that as well, right?
Starting point is 00:26:47 And then there's justifiable homicides by the police. There's people that are protecting their house. There's a bunch of different, there's gang violence. There's a bunch of different things that get lumped in when we talk about gun violence. But a certain percentage of them are people that are protecting their house or their family from someone who's trying to hurt them. Yeah, I got it.
Starting point is 00:27:08 It does happen occasionally. I'm in business with an ex-pilot from Vietnam, and I'm quite sure he has a sidearm in his house, but it would be useless because it's so locked away and so hidden by the time anything happened, by the time anything happened. By the time he got to that gun and got it loaded and found the ammunition and everything else. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe he could keep it right by his bed. No, but I'm saying in this one instance.
Starting point is 00:27:36 And then what if it's your daughter or something coming in late at night and you mistake her for. Well, you open your mouth and you say something. Possibly. You just go shooting into the dark. Or what if you have homicidal tendencies and you've been See, one thing I learned about guns because I grew up with guns too.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I grew up in the country. Where'd you grow up? In Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Oh, really? Oh, that's right. You're Canadian. Crazy. And so guns.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Did you ever think about moving back up there? Oh, no. I lived up there. Oh, really? Oh, that's right. You're Canadian. Hawks are coming down to get your chickens or some stuff like that. But I've seen the gun culture in Calgary, and it turned me off. Because I've seen kids, they would take a stray dog and bring him up to the field, tie him to a tree or something, a post and then shoot him oh jesus shoot him that is sport you know uh and and they couldn't because here's the thing about guns oh i went duck hunting with my brother one time and uh in the field and he got bored waiting for the ducks to come and so here comes uh um uh what do you call it is that your phone yeah i'm sorry that's okay i don't know it's your wrist it's out there it's your wrist your wrist is ringing he turned it off no we went duck hunting and we're waiting there for hours for the ducks to come over and my brother
Starting point is 00:29:19 he got bored and there's a muskrat swimming across the thing, so he shot it with a shotgun. And he walks out into the middle of the slough, picks up the muskrat as the ducks flew over top of us. Just stupidity, man. Well, that's definitely stupid. But there's responsible gun owners, don't you think? Well, as they are. Like, I was in Army Cadets, and when we had practice, I'm a sharpshooter, by the way. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:29:47 Yeah, I got some, what do you call it, patches, you know, sharpshooter, 300 yards. So I know how to handle a rifle anyway. But when we go shooting, we would have to, first of all, we never got the weapon. And until we marched down into firing position, then we were handed the weapon and one bullet. And then we put the bullet in, shoot the target, another bullet, shoot the target. And then when we were finished, we had to pick up all our casings and give them back and if anything was missing no one left until they found that missing bullet and that's gun safety yeah then the gun was taken from us and put in an armory it's only used when you're going to use
Starting point is 00:30:38 it you know just like walking around the skill saw you know you can have a license to carry a skill saw but you don't have a skill saw strapped to your side and you can take out and yeah try your skill saw anytime you want it is the open carry thing is very strange when you see people walking around with guns strapped to their hips in arizona you're like okay they're targets why don't you do that you're a target in a way yeah it's like the bikers like bikersers, you know, the Hells Angels and the Mongols and that, they're the only crime in Synecdoche I know that advertise. On their back. Look at me.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Look at me. I'm a thug. I'm a, you know, I extort. I do all sorts. I beat up people. I kill people. And I ride on a big hog, you know. I mean, it's crazy. But people do that for recognition. Here. And I write on a big hog. You know. I mean, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:31:26 But people do that for recognition. Yeah. See, that's like mass shooters. That's what they do it for. Get their name in the paper. Yeah, look what I did. Look at useless old me. I'm not so useless.
Starting point is 00:31:37 What's true, the craziest thing about mass shooters is it's not a thing. I mean, guns have been around for a long time, but this is not a thing that's been around for a long time. Yeah. This is a fairly recent thing that keeps erupting over and over and over again. I don't know. You were too young to remember, but when I was a kid, the crime comics were banned. They were banned? They were banned because they were bad.
Starting point is 00:32:00 They showed violence. Comic books. Comic books. Wow. And they were people up in arms about comic books and now you got video games where you gotta be a mass killer well how about movies you know i mean so many movies movies john wick movies just everybody's getting shot everybody yeah my one of my favorites is peppermint with peppermintermint? What's that? Jennifer Gardner. Have you seen that?
Starting point is 00:32:28 Oh, check it out. She's a superhero. Oh. Her name is Peppermint? The name of the movie is Peppermint. Have you heard of this, Jamie? You have? I'm out of luck.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Remember like the last eight months or something? Really? Not that long ago. What? It's great. Really? I watched it about three times now. What? Yeah. Why have you watched it so many i think jennifer gardner is kind of hot oh okay and and to see her to see her
Starting point is 00:32:52 to see her with the guns in her and the third time i realized a lot of it were stunt stunt people how can you tell just i seen it so many times, it wasn't Jennifer. Oh, okay, so you're looking for everything. Yeah, I'm looking for that little thing. But again, that's the kind of violence that we get shown. And people get immune. Yes. And especially people, they get stupid. Like when I was a kid, I saw a picture, my brother died recently, and there's a whole picture, photo thing of him and I when we were kids.
Starting point is 00:33:29 And they used to get put under the Christmas tree, six guns. And when we were little guys, we were three or four years old. I had six guns strapped to myself, you know, because Roy Rogers and gene audrey and that was a big deal you know you had your six gun shooters but you never shot anybody you just shot the gun under their hand you know yeah that was the old days yeah right the good guys always shot people in the hand they shot the gun away from them all right you got me. Yeah. Different world. Yeah, it is. Going from the old days to Big Bamboo to where we're at today, where you're actually in the weed business now.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Oh, you know it. John's choice. Which is crazy, right? It's like you were arrested for just selling glass. How many years ago was that? Like 15, 16? 03. 03.
Starting point is 00:34:24 16 years ago. 03. So 16 years ago, you? Like 15, 16? 03. 03. 16 years ago. 03. So 16 years ago, you were arrested for just selling glass. 2019, you're selling full-on weed legally. In four or five countries. That's crazy. Germany, Spain, Canada. You were so ahead of the curve.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Yeah. But you also, you were one of the real OGs that paid a price. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, now it's got to be nice to see that your influence had something to do with all this. It did. It feels really well. It really did.
Starting point is 00:34:53 All your movies, I mean, you guys made weed look fun. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah, but everybody made it out like, you know, you go from, if you think about propaganda, positive and negative, you go from Reefer Madness,ness Which is the most negative To the Cheech and Chong movies Which is probably The most positive
Starting point is 00:35:07 Most positive Up until like Half Baked That was the most positive Weed stuff we ever saw Right It was Super positive It was all just silly
Starting point is 00:35:16 And fun Crazy Crazy Silly humor Ghetto humor Yeah You know A lot of ghetto humor
Starting point is 00:35:23 And I wanted to be the rich guy you know the kid of the rich guy because that's what the 60s happened you know all the hippie you know in order to get laid you had to be hippie and so all the rich kids are growing their hair long and you know yeah they're you know living on the streets, all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you guys popularized vans too. And we, you know, yeah, you know, we used to say when we'd be on radio, some of the radio shows, and I was really popular on the right-wing radio shows. Really?
Starting point is 00:35:59 Because I would, I'd inflame the whole crowd. They'd get all pissed off at me because I would out people. I outed Danny Sullivan, the race car driver. I said, oh yeah, Danny smokes pot. And people got mad at you for that? It went nuts. I think that's why I got busted.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Really? Because I was in St. Louis on a radio show that Ashcroft listened to. And I think Ashcroft heard me and the hit went out. People forgot how crazy that guy is. Yeah. Is he still alive? That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:36:35 But do you remember when he was singing? He had a song that he sang, that he wrote about let the eagle soar. This is when- Right. Yes. This is when he was Attorney General. And it was so creepy and crazy that this person would say, he had a whole album of gospel music.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Like he was a psycho. He was. I would love to climb inside that guy's head and find out what kind of gears are spinning around in there. I think I did. I think I ended up in jail for my pro for my thing yeah he he had a whole song that he sang on television he said i think he sang it was either in front of congress or something along those lines where he no he was giving a
Starting point is 00:37:18 speech somewhere and then along with the speech he wanted to sing the song let the eagle soar And along with the speech, he wanted to sing the song, Let the Eagle Soar. Like she's never soared before. It's so, you want to hear it? See if you can find it, Jamie. It's so bad. They got 10 seconds from a Daily Show moment of Zen that they did with it. Well, the video was. No, that video looked shitty.
Starting point is 00:37:40 This is the clearest video I could find real quick. It's just 10 seconds of it. Okay, here's the video. Look at this. Check check this out look up there like she's never soared before from rocky coast stop that's all you need to say like stop you can't nothing forever bro that's when you kind of say yeah maybe guns are okay yeah maybe everything's fine maybe missiles but seeing a guy like that thinking that that psychopath had any control whatsoever over any laws or anyone getting arrested that guy is fucking. He's the guy who's wanted to cover the breasts on statues.
Starting point is 00:38:26 He did cover them. Yes. He covered them. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Which brought attention to him. Yeah. No one noticed the tits before he put a veil over them.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Exactly. Then now they're looking at all you see is titties. He was a spooky guy. He was. Y'all want? Yeah. I found that out. That Bush administration had some spooky fucking people there.
Starting point is 00:38:44 They really did. It's really interesting that history whitewashes these weird old guys. Yeah. Like Ronald Reagan. After he died, Ronald Reagan became like this patron saint of conservative thinking. When I was in high school, Ronald Reagan was president and everybody fucking hated that guy. They hated him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:00 It was like he was a creep. Oh, horrible. You thought about him like this guy's a fraud. He's a phony. He's lying about selling arms to iran like the whole thing was it was it was so crazy to watch that guy become this loved figure i used to work out with his daughter patty really yeah and her and i were pretty good friends until one day i came to the gym and uh i saw part of a movie called caligula and and she said oh how did you like it i said i was too faggy for me and apparently uh ron her brother her brother is very gay and she blew it
Starting point is 00:39:35 she blew up at me how dare how can you say that how dare you don't you know my brother and yeah so it's nothing to do with the movie just i'm not into that that's okay i just don't like watching it doesn't mean i don't want you to do it that's funny yeah ron was like super hardcore democrat right his son it was that was an interesting little thing yeah so his son was gay well gay. Well, Ronnie wasn't that right wing until he found a better path for him. Like Trump. Yeah, Ronnie was a Democrat. Like Trump.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when he was younger. Yeah. See, when they get older, you know. That always happens. You sell your soul. Old guys get paranoid.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Well, they also get paranoid. They start wanting to tighten up the borders and lock and load let the eagle soar like she's never soared before imagine like sitting down writing that out and then and then singing it with all that emotion and passion as if that makes any fucking sense to anyone well obviously no there is no uh stopping him you know he's a fucking moron and the the song's about a bird that's an evil reptile like a raptor like an eagle is a fucking monstrous animal who'll eat babies they'll eat anything they can get their hands on they swoop down snatch fish right out of the fucking river they're fun i mean they're
Starting point is 00:41:04 amazing creatures. I don't hate eagles, but the idea that that's America. America is a fucking vicious flying dinosaur. It's kind of hilarious. It really is kind of hilarious that that's our animal. It's funny, man. No, I pissed off a lot of people in, you know, not meaning to. But it was a different time.
Starting point is 00:41:24 You know what we used to say when they would attack us you know and say what if we're right what if everything we're doing is right and you're wrong and next thing you know it's true we were right yeah well you've been you were right the whole time yeah and you know i remember when i first started smoking weed i was well i had smoked it a couple of times up until i was 30 and then when i was 30 my friend eddie eddie bravo got me high for the first time i remember i couldn't believe that this was what pot was i was like this is it i thought it made you stupid like oh i can't stop thinking about things like yeah some of the thoughts are a little unorganized and kind of
Starting point is 00:42:00 chaotic but it wasn't making me lazy it wasn't doing any of these things that people were claiming it did it didn't make me stupid it made me curious yeah made me want to watch science documentaries yeah and eat yeah and eat and eat food tasted so good i can't believe how good this food tastes i know it's just it is one of the biggest puzzles of modern times is that even in 2019, with all these states that have legalized it, there's still a bunch of people that think that pot is bad for you and that it makes you lazy. I always say that pot is like any other tool. It's like a hammer. You could build a house with a hammer or you could just hit yourself in the dick if you're fucking crazy. It's the same thing with pot.
Starting point is 00:42:42 That's exactly you can use pot and it can enhance your life and it can enhance your relationship and it makes you friendlier and more come more camaraderie more compassion or you could just get stoned all day and do nothing you got that goddamn phone ringing on your wrist no it's he's got it do you does that freak you out having that thing i had one of those on my wrist for a day and i was like what am i doing i don't i don't know how to work it so it's just decoration for me why do i have a regular watch then my son got it for me oh paris paris got it because he he updates my everything oh okay okay if it wasn't for paris i'd still be riding a bike yeah i don't i don't i had one of those that i was using for a while for like fitness tracking stuff. Then I got this whoop.
Starting point is 00:43:26 I got this other thing that's quite a bit more accurate and does more stuff. You're 51? 51, yeah. Wow, good shape, man. Thank you. I'm scared. Never let it go. I work out all the time because I'm terrified of it falling apart.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Well, no, you're hooked on the adrenaline. You're hooked on the endorphins. Yeah, but that too. It's also for mental health reasons. Like for me, I need to exercise just to keep my body. Well, like Arnold, you know, when I, when I first came to LA, I, I, uh, first thing I did
Starting point is 00:43:57 was join, uh, Gold's gym because I read about it, you know, up in Vancouver. And then I met Arnold and all the guys. And they were so healthy. You know, if he took a sip of 7-Up, he'd spit it out. Really? Yeah. And he was super, super healthy.
Starting point is 00:44:15 But he smoked a joint. He would smoke a joint. That was another thing. Pumping iron. That documentary, Pumping Iron. Saw him, after he won, smoking a joint. Smoking a joint. And made pot look like wow
Starting point is 00:44:26 this guy smoked pot that's right how the fuck does pot make you a loser if the biggest bodybuilder on the planet the most successful yes successful guy yeah yeah and I ordered him one time like I owed everybody and and uh Arnold was walking with Stallone at the time. There's that famous picture. Yeah, they asked. Arnold is numero uno. They asked Arnold, you know, Tommy Chong said that he smoked pot with you. And Stallone jumped in right away. Oh, no, that's a lie.
Starting point is 00:44:54 That's a lie. He never smoked. And Arnold said, no, no. Yeah, we did smoke pot. We knew how to enjoy ourselves back then. Yeah. That's true. Stallone trying to cover it up.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Well, Stallone is Stallone. Those Rambo movies. I got some good stories on Stallone. You remember Jordan Belford? Jordan Belford. The Wolf of Wall Street? Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:16 I was in jail with him. Oh. I helped him write his book. Really? Yeah. In fact, all I did was insult him and made him write his book. Because I was writing my book. And he started, he said, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:45:29 I'm writing, because we shared a cubicle. And I said, I'm writing my book. He says, oh, I'm going to write a book. And so he wrote a couple of pages. And he handed it to me like, hey, read this. And I read it. And it was like a copy of Tom Wolfe, Bonfires and Vanities. And I said, you haven't written shit.
Starting point is 00:45:47 I handed it back to him. And he said, what do you mean? I said, you haven't written nothing. He said, but what should I write? He challenged me. I said, write what you know. I said, write those stories you've been telling me every night. You know, I said, there's one rule that've got to remember when you're writing or doing anything.
Starting point is 00:46:05 It's called the most of. So you don't just get high. You get higher than anybody's ever gotten in their life if you're going to put it on screen. You don't just have a fight. You have a fight that goes on forever. That's the kind of stuff you need, that people are interested in.
Starting point is 00:46:24 And so he said he didn't talk to me for about about a month after that he was mad at you yeah he was just right now i'll show this guy and he just wrote and he wrote the wolf of wall street really yeah and then he give it to you and you're like all right you got something here no no no no no the last time the next time i saw him he pulled in front of my house with his car. We were both on probation, so we couldn't talk to each other. And so he yelled from his car. He goes, hey, I sold the book to Martin Scorsese. So you're allowed to talk to each other by yelling?
Starting point is 00:46:56 Yeah. But you couldn't be close? Yeah, you couldn't be. How close did you have to, how far away do you have to stay? Well, technically, you're not supposed to talk to each other. But yelling, no one's going to say anything about that. That's hilarious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:10 How stupid is that? You violate your probation. They put you back in jail. Right, because you're associating with felons. That's right. That's so crazy that someone who you're trying to rehabilitate with, you can't talk to them because they also fucked up. There was aixon speechwriter that was in with me and he was so innocent and they wanted what they were the government was trying to get stuff on hamelda marcos you know the philippines and and this lawyer that i was in there was a speechwriter
Starting point is 00:47:36 reagan speechwriter and and he wouldn't give up marcos or mel. And so they put him in jail for a year. And when he got out on probation, being a straight guy he was, he went home and took a Valium to help him sleep. And he got drug tested the next day and went back in jail. He went back in jail. So you've got to be very careful when you're dealing with probation people because they got you by the balls, man. It's got to be a weird thing dealing with the probation officers because they have that power over you.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Oh, yeah. Do they fuck with you? Not me. I was too much of a celebrity. And I had a lot of nice ladies and so I'd flirt with them. Right. You're all friends. Yeah, I'd flirt with everything.
Starting point is 00:48:23 I'm sure like all things, right? There's good people doing it and bad people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a job. Yeah. It's a job. It's a paycheck. The sad thing about when I was in jail in Taft was that it's built over a toxic waste dump.
Starting point is 00:48:39 That's where they found oil in Taft in California. And when they found oil back in the day they never had a way to contain it they would just dig it and hit it and they would just spill all over the the ground and so they would dig big trenches out like big pools and they would fill up with oil then they would get the barrels and dip the barrels in and that's how they filled up the oil barrels and and so after they figured how to do it right they uh the ground is all toxic and so they built a federal prison over top of it whoa and so everybody that's worked there and a lot of people that did time there all gotten cancer
Starting point is 00:49:20 and died so you think that's probably the root of your cancer? Could be. Could be. Could be, for sure. Yeah, easy, yeah. Because that's where I got it. And they say that marijuana does something to cancer, right? Inhibits cancer in certain ways? I don't know technically what it does. I think what it does, more than anything, it calms the brain.
Starting point is 00:49:40 See, anytime you calm the brain, you lose the fear. See, you know know the fear is that fight or flight you know that's your response your body goes into this fight or flight mode and when you calm that down your body just goes into relaxation mode and when you're in the fight or flight mode uh the other parts of your body can't function properly, like your immune system. But when you're in a total relaxed mode, that's why when an animal gets hurt, they usually just crawl off in a corner somewhere
Starting point is 00:50:12 and just lay there and lick their wounds. And they just calm everything down and then they let the body take over to heal. And I think what happens with pot is that it mellows the brain to the point where you, so what, you know, and you allow your body to take over. But you still need that other treatment. You still need the chemo, the radiation.
Starting point is 00:50:37 You need all that stuff, you know. Are you taking CBD oil? No, yeah. Oh, yeah. How much do you take? I'm not sure. I'm not good at amounts. But you take it every day? I take it. I take it.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Right now I'm on testosterone and CBD. Yeah. And then just flour. I smoke up a couple of joints. Well, we've got a gift bag for you. Yes, thank you. Yeah. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Tommy Chong weed. Thank you. It's always good to have it i got some from be real it scared the shit out of me was it i did be real smoke box oh yeah be real from cyprus yeah yeah i know fuck that's probably as high as i've ever been in my life really those guys go hard oh yeah i couldn't keep up with them no no i don't even try i i'm a lightweight man well when i spoke with arnold all the dave draper all these muscle heads would come around and they get a big bong and the thing was they put like a like a an ounce in the bowl and then they'd fire it up and then they'd suck on it so hard whoever exploded the the bowl into the water made it explode.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Then you were the hero. All the muscle heads, they're taking their hit. Arnold takes a big hit. You know, the thing explodes. Then they handed it to me. It was like. And they looked at me like. Tommy Chong.
Starting point is 00:51:58 I wasn't Chong. No, I wasn't the Chong at the time. So they just looked at me like, yeah, okay. Back then, you were just a guy. Yeah. I was just one of the time, so they just looked at me like, yeah, okay. So back then, you were just a guy. Yeah. I was just one of the, almost faceless. What was it like being famous for being a pothead back in the 70s? Because that had to be weird.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Because you and Cheech were famous potheads. Yeah. Where I don't think there was anybody else. Who else was a famous pothead? No. Where I don't think there was anybody else. Like, who else was a famous pothead? No. On your level? No. No one?
Starting point is 00:52:30 No, no. But maybe no one ever. You guys were the trailblazers. What's his name? The actor, oh Christ, I can't think of his name.
Starting point is 00:52:42 He did time, he did a year in jail in county for one joint. Robert Mitchum. Oh, Christ, I can't think of his name. He did time. He did a year in jail in county for one joint. Robert Mitchum. Oh, yeah. Robert Mitchum. But he was like a straight-laced guy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:52 The image. Big cowboy. Yeah. Yeah, he got high. He was a tough guy. That was the image. Well, you know what the big draw for pot was? The sex.
Starting point is 00:53:10 big uh draw for pot was the sex see it it uh it was it was before uh what do you call the soapers or uh soapers quaaludes you know the quaalude thing the quaalude was big sex thing that was uh people would have sex on quaaludes oh yeah why yeah i've never taken a quaalude what does it do for you oh just they're called spreaders when a girl gets high on on a quaalude it's like take me yeah do you think that's why bill cosby was those girls are quite totally totally so that was the thing it just relaxes you into some it makes you horny really oh yeah and that's what pot does for for me now but but it does for women. Women love to sleep with that, and they love to have sex after smoking a joint. What was it, Annie Hall?
Starting point is 00:53:52 Was it Annie Hall? Was it Woody? Was that? And he got a little pissed off. Do you have to get high every time you make love with me? Yeah. Oh, that's right. Was that Annie Hall?
Starting point is 00:54:01 I think it was Annie Hall. And I think everybody in the picture, in the movie company, in the movie house said, yeah, I can dig it. Yeah, it definitely changes the way things feel. Yeah, it relaxes. Yeah. It relaxes. You hear music better. So you feel things better.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Everything feels nicer. I like to do yoga on it. I like to smoke weed right before I go to yoga class. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. Like you feel all the muscles. You feel the tiny ones and the ones connected to weird spots.
Starting point is 00:54:31 And you don't smoke a lot. A couple of tokes or. Before yoga class, I don't like it too high. I don't want it to be inside my head. Yeah. I just want it like two hits. Two hits, yeah. Just two hits.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Just going high. I'm high, but I'm not blasted. Yeah. That's me too. I got, I've been given all sorts of toys, you know, because I got the Chong's Choice in the stores. And so they, I'm getting tons of pipes all the time. And I make pipes too.
Starting point is 00:54:59 In fact, this is. That's the not a pipe. This is a not a pipe. You gave me one of those. You got one? Yes, I got one of those. Okay. Last time time was like six whatever it was six years ago last time you were on the show yeah you gave me the not a pipe oh good i got it at home but i i you know so so now they got they got a new one i can't think of it i got it for you here anyway oh great thank you it's called
Starting point is 00:55:23 easy pipe oh okay easy pipe it's so cool because you open the thing and it's got a lighter and Can't think of it. I got it for you here anyway. Oh, great. Thank you. It's called the Easy Pipe. Oh, okay. Easy Pipe. It's so cool because you open the thing and it's got a lighter built in and there's just enough, the bowl holds enough for a little nug. Put the nug in there and you can carry it in your pocket because there's a lid. Oh. And then when you want to hit it, you just hit the lighter and you got a hit. Oh. Oh, I've seen one of those before.
Starting point is 00:55:47 It has like a little metal lid that slides over to the side. Yeah, those are pretty cool. Oh, yeah, they're very nice. Yeah, nice little contraption all contained. Well, the old one-hitters used to be awkward. Chong's Choice right there, kapow. Yeah, that's the Chong's Choice. Oh, that's the…
Starting point is 00:56:04 That's a different thing. That's the Genius Pipe. Oh, that's the- That's a different thing. That's the Genius Pipe. Ah, Genius. Like the Genius Bar at Apple? It's incredible. Incredible. What does that do? Well, it cools the smoke.
Starting point is 00:56:14 See, from the bowl to the- Mouthpiece? The mouthpiece. The whole thing is dimpled inside, and so the smoke goes through all this the dimples and it cools it off it cools it off sort of like ice water in a bong yeah yeah better better better oh it's it's so smooth yeah i'll cough you're just thinking about it but you do the genius pipe and it's just so cool do you get all these kids are dabbing and using wax and i watch do you ever go to cypress hills instagram page i get fucking i get anxiety just watching their
Starting point is 00:56:51 videos like how high are you getting because they play i want to get high so high and you're watching the video and you're like oh my god i God, I can't do this. I can't even watch this. I know. They're scooping that yellow wax in there. I know. Oh, they go so deep, these kids today. They're out of their fucking mind. They're heating up glass and dropping the THC into the glass. I was at one dispensary and the guy was so proud.
Starting point is 00:57:19 He handed me a big jar of shatter, you know, the dab stuff. And I pretended like, oh, it's a gift. Oh, thanks. And I put it in my pocket and I walked away. And the guy was both just, it dropped. Yeah, it was probably a lot of money for that stuff. Oh, it was like a year's worth of dab. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:57:41 And I kept it long enough to make him nervous. And then I guess. Yeah. You know, in Canada, we had to deal with hash a lot. Oh. And it's okay. But it's a little bit too harsh. Hash is harsh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:57 For me. The high is interesting, though. Yeah. Yeah. It's an intense high. Yeah. How do you feel about edibles? I love them to sleep on.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I love them. The chocolate I got you is what my wife and I both use. Oh, yeah. We'll wake up in the middle of the night instead of, you know, fussing and fighting or, you know, thinking about it. We just go and get a little chocolate thing. It's delicious chocolate, too. It's DeFonce chocolate, and it's the best thing. And you just sleep.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Not only I slept last night, but I had a couple of epiphanies that just blew my mind. Like what? How art is going to save the world. Art is going to save the world. Art is going to save the world. Yeah. How's that? Well, you look at history, like the pyramids. That was art.
Starting point is 00:58:51 That was an art piece. And what happens when you have big, huge art pieces like that, you create employment. And it's not war. So you're not fighting. You're creating. So you're not fighting, you're creating. And so the people that care for the animals, the people that have to feed the mass of people that have to work on getting those rocks,
Starting point is 00:59:13 carving those rocks, everything else, it creates employment. And it also creates tourism. And so when you have a piece of art, everybody wants to come and look at it. And so that's what we need in the world today, you see. And we not only need art, but we need functional art because that's what the pyramids were. They were functional.
Starting point is 00:59:34 And a lot of people think it was the astronauts. You mean aliens? The aliens, which could very well be. You really think so? Oh, sure. For sure. For sure. Why do you think that?
Starting point is 00:59:46 Well, because there's nothing new in the universe. We've had space flights. We've had all that stuff forever. But you have Chang's Choice Cooler Pipe. Yeah. That genius pipe? That's new in the universe. No, it's probably rehashed.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Probably somewhere in the world. Rehashed. Or somewhere in the universe. Yeah. Somewhere in the universe. Oh, you want to talk about pot? Chinese, Indians, all religion. What makes you think that aliens built the pyramids, though?
Starting point is 01:00:18 I'm saying they could have been. Really? I think aliens are just humans. Because if they're wearing spacesuits, if they're wearing space suits if they're aliens why do they need a space suit unless they come from another uh atmosphere i i personally believe that earth is the only planet in this universe and the reason i believe that is that there are countless universes like space is endless and so space is endless. Why wouldn't we have our own universe? Okay. So you think that Earth is the only planet in this universe? Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:52 But what about Mars? It's a dead planet. Okay. So Earth is the only live planet? The only planet with life in this whole universe? Yeah. So you think that there's multiple universes or infinite numbers of universes. Yes.
Starting point is 01:01:06 And each universe probably has an Earth. Or two. Or two. But you think this whole universe of hundreds of billions of galaxies, each with hundreds of billions of solar systems. Could be. That's only one planet. Could be. Because we have the space.
Starting point is 01:01:20 So you mean by one planet, one planet with life. Yes. Intelligent life. But why wouldn't you think that there's, one planet with life? Yes. Intelligent life. But why wouldn't you think that there's, because it's so big, why wouldn't you think there could possibly be other life, other places? Why couldn't it be the other way? Why couldn't we be the only ones? We could be. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:01:37 We totally could be. So there's no reason for me. See, that's why I have trouble with people that are afraid of ai you know artificial intelligence yeah i think so silly because well because they're smart they're smart enough to know that they're not going to enslave anybody or torture anybody or take over anything not only dummies do that stuff because when when you capture something, you know what you capture? What? Their problems.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Whatever their problems are. Unless you extinguish them. Yeah. For what reason? Well, the people are just destroying the earth. They're polluting the rivers. They're sucking all the fish out of the sea. It's not the first time.
Starting point is 01:02:19 The sky's filled with carbon. The artificial life's going to be like, you know what? The real problem is these goddamn people. They're dirty little litterers.'re choking squirrels see that's the paranoid look at it look at the positive look at it what's the positive well first of all you have to remember we live in a physical universe okay for every action there's a reaction. So for every good, there's a bad. Nothing explains Trump more than for every Obama, there's a Trump. You know what I'm saying? Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:52 So there's no limit to how ignorant you can be, and there's no limit to how smart you can be. There's no limit. And so when you go up the scale to intelligence scale, then you realize that there's no reason to be paranoid about anything. Because it's all written out in all the holy books, written it out, especially the Bible. See, the Bible has been misconstrued by so many people. Because what they do, they take it to what's going to suit their purposes. But to really interpret the Bible, it's written in code.
Starting point is 01:03:34 It's a secret code. The Bible? Yeah. It's metaphysical terms. It's not physical terms. They're metaphysical terms. What do you know about the Bible in code? There's a writer called Emmett Fox.
Starting point is 01:03:47 You should get into him. Yeah? He deciphers the whole Bible. Does he decipher the ancient Hebrew version of the Bible or the Greek version of the Bible, Latin version of the Bible? All the versions. Right, but I mean, it all comes from ancient Hebrew. And when you translate things from ancient Hebrew, there's, you know, ancient Hebrew, the letters also double as numbers.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Sure. Yeah. things from ancient hebrew there's you know ancient hebrew the letters also double as numbers sure yeah and and and see see what with the people i read there's another uh uh mystic that i read a lot mystic well he's mystic you know or you know he's not he he his name is joel s goldsmith i i discovered him a long time ago, but I discovered him in jail. It's a very popular book in jail. And Goldsmith, look him up. He's all on the computers and everything else. Check him out. You'll really, really enjoy it.
Starting point is 01:04:35 It'll give you a new perspective because what he maintains, it's all written, like I say, in the Bible. Eternity. There's no beginning and no end. That explains everything to me. Because if there's no beginning to no end, what can happen will happen.
Starting point is 01:05:00 You know? And because, again, this is my theory, is in the physical world, we have to learn everything. That's why everything's physical. Like the first thing when you're born, you have to learn how to breathe. You have to learn how to walk. You have to learn how to eat. These are all skills that you have to literally learn. And mothers and everything teach you that
Starting point is 01:05:26 and then when you reach a certain age uh you leave the planet you know at least your soul your spirit and the body the body stays the body's just a vehicle and so because of eternity, this goes on and on and on and on forever. It never stops. What we do as humans, we're learning. We're creatures of, we're all students, whether we want to be or not. I was trying to explain this to my one son because my youngest son is a bit, he's a musician. And I try to understand that he's a musician. And, you know, musicians aren't that, you know, they're not entrepreneurial as some people would like them to be.
Starting point is 01:06:16 But anyway, everybody's here to learn a certain task. And some of us are blessed to the the point like me I'm blessed I'm very blessed because I've been given the ability to do what I do and to see what I see and say what I say you know it doesn't come from me it comes from you know the source what I call the source. And that's why I could turn prison into a religious retreat. Because it's like a monk going into hiatus for nine months. You just had a thought in your head that you're going to treat it like a religious retreat. Yeah. And you learn about yourself and educate yourself.
Starting point is 01:07:02 Read all the books. Take advantage of your solitude because that's very important. When you get a chance to be alone, man, that's a very important time because that's when you connect with your spiritual teacher. It must have felt so good to be released, though. In a way, there was a lot of sadness. Really? Yeah, yeah. I never looked as good as when i got released
Starting point is 01:07:28 man uh one of the because one of the inmates there you know he was a barber he spent two hours cutting my hair perfect it was chicano you know just perfect i come out my my wife shelby looked at me whoa that's the best haircut you've ever had. Everything was perfect. Were you exercising in jail? That's all you do. You walk at night. There's a track and you
Starting point is 01:07:56 can walk miles around the track. And the whole prison's out there walking around. That's when you socialize and talk and everything else to people. And they all grouped together. And I learned games. I learned how to play bocce ball. I played pool.
Starting point is 01:08:12 And then I sang. I had a little area where I had my own private studio. It was the entrance to the pool hall. And I'd sit in there and the echo was perfect. You guys had a pool hall? Oh, yeah. We had tennis courts, pool hall. Sounds like sit in there and the echo was perfect. You guys had a pool hall? Oh yeah. We had tennis courts, pool hall.
Starting point is 01:08:27 Sounds like a great time. It was. I'm telling you. Other than not being able to leave. And even then, if you wanted to leave, I'm going, why would you want to leave?
Starting point is 01:08:37 I mean, it was perfect. So you think that's why people go back to jail? Totally. To get released? Totally. I saw one guy, it was sad.
Starting point is 01:08:45 He was crying. He was crying. He got released. He was sitting there crying and I said, what's wrong? He gets released next month and he was a junkie and he knew that
Starting point is 01:08:53 as soon as he hit the street he was going to die, you know? And he did. As soon as he hit the street he died. But he was funny. He was,
Starting point is 01:09:02 they had a little game that when they opened the dormitory, the first few people to hit the mess hall got to order eggs any way they wanted, like over easy or sunny side up, whatever. And so he'd get all anxious. He'd be the first guy in line, and he'd be kind of getting ready to, so the doors open, man, and you couldn't run. You had to walk.
Starting point is 01:09:26 And so he learned this quick walk. Walk fast. He'd walk real fast. And he was a delight. But when he got released, he took his own life. Wow. Yeah, I hung with him. Took his own life with heroin or?
Starting point is 01:09:41 Probably. Yeah, probably. It was sad. So he just couldn't help himself once he got out. Well, see, you know, everybody's worried about socialism. Well, America's the biggest socialist country in the world. We are? Yeah. We've got more people in jail than anywhere else in the world. And what happens in jail? Cradle to grave. You're fed, you're clothed, you're told what to wear, you're told what to wear, you're allowed to study certain things. You're totally controlled.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Medical, you got free medical. There were prisoners that would go to jail so they could get their open heart surgery. Because the federal law mandates that if you have something wrong with you, they have to fix it. And so there were prisoners that would break the law so they could get in to get their open heart surgery. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy, man. That's some next level thinking.
Starting point is 01:10:33 I'm going to go to jail so I can get open heart surgery. Yeah, yeah. Did they prevent you from reading any books? Was there anything that was like, could you order whatever you wanted? They had a, it was weird. They had a thing about, they would take covers off magazines. And you know the subscription cards? They would take that out.
Starting point is 01:10:59 Because people on the outside would dose them with the acid, LSD, and ship the books in there. And then next thing you know, half a dorm would be tripping on acid. Because they were eating pieces of the subscription paper. The paper, yeah. And that kind of stuff always went on. But as far as, no, you could read whatever you wanted,
Starting point is 01:11:20 basically, you know. I read a lot of books that I was meaning to read, you know. And I read a lot of books that you know i i was meaning to read you know and i helped a lot of people uh i would do the eaching you know the eaching sure yeah i would do the eaching you know how to do that on the indian grounds oh yeah yeah it's real easy yeah throw the coins it's really heads tails you know well itly, it's some sort of future reading thing. Do you think it works? Oh, yeah. What does it tell you?
Starting point is 01:11:50 Well, the first time I did it, I rolled it. Explain to people how it works. Well, what it is, you get three coins, and you throw the three coins, and you get numbers from six to nine. And anything in between six, seven, six, eight, nine. I think it's something like that. Anyway, each number tells you what line you're going to read. And you throw it three times, and you write down. And then you get a sort of like a plan of what page you're supposed to look at.
Starting point is 01:12:29 And then when you get the page, then it tells you, you know, but you're asking it because you got to ask the I Ching for something, you know, and it'll answer you. and it'll answer you. For instance, I threw mine, when I did it, I threw it, and the first line said, you are in jail for a reason. Wow. How does it say that? It just said it.
Starting point is 01:12:55 It says it how? What do you translate it? You write it. You read it. It's been written in that book for centuries. That line is in that book for centuries. 3,000 years years something like that and so i read it because still they still talk about chariots and kings and queens everything that was the first sign you are in jail for a reason jails are corrective institutions that will correct your behavior.
Starting point is 01:13:26 That's what the I Ching is telling you. That's what the I Ching. Well, what they did, they updated it. The girls that wrote it, they updated it to the modern time. I think it's Armstrong. There are a couple of girls that wrote it. It's a big, thick book. But it's it.
Starting point is 01:13:42 And then it went on there. And another guy Mike this this Chicano he saw me he thought it was a game so he's all set for the game what are you playing
Starting point is 01:13:52 I said no I'm doing the I Ching I said do you want me to do you and he said yeah so I did his and it's very polite not to read
Starting point is 01:14:01 the readings of the other guy you know let him read it first and so i i did the numbers and and i give it to him and he read it and he just handed me the book and he went sat on his bunk and he just stared and so then i read what what what it said and he a month before he lost his wife and child in a car accident they were coming out to visit him and the I Ching said you suffered a great misfortune oh it was like dead on. Wow. And the I Ching goes on to tell you, you know, what to do.
Starting point is 01:14:50 And, you know, this is next month is going to be tough. This month is going to be good. You know, and we see hope for you. It's like astrology. It's almost the same. Well, I know Terrence McKenna was really into it. He's really into the I Ching, and he thought it was some sort of a map of time. He was trying to figure out what it was and how it worked and why it can predict things.
Starting point is 01:15:11 And if you mess with it, it'll tell you. If you fuck with it? Like the Ouija board, you know, sometimes if you do the Ouija board, it's the same thing. If you start making it a game, you know, let's ask it this, let's ask it that. Who's going to win the race tomorrow? that and and right away the chain catches that and knows your real feelings and it tells you and i tell you don't don't do that what do you think it is it's a chinese it's a method i think i think i what it is, it's a spiritual way of communicating this. Remember in Ghost, where Patrick Swayze had to learn how to move a coin?
Starting point is 01:15:54 Remember that? The spirits, especially spiritual people, they're around us. And so you give them a chance to communicate with you because they know all they will communicate and so the yi qing gives the spirits a chance to communicate so when you throw a coin they know what coin what what heads or tails or whatever it is number that you need to read to to talk to you right and that's that's my theory gotta try it man yeah i'm curious because i do know that many people have used it to try to figure out what their life is about what they're doing with their life and the weirdest thing
Starting point is 01:16:38 about it is they they seem to find some real answers in it. And they keep them to themselves. Yeah, but the idea that I had heard that made the most sense was that the way the world works is not as simple and as easy as one plus one equals two, left, right, left, right, walk down the road, but that there's intention and thought that also helps formulate our universe. And what the I Ching does is it somehow clarifies intention and thought and it clarifies like the the act your actual the actual process is going on in your mind and it it quantifies it and puts it into uh like a way that you can read your effect on life and life's effect on you in this and then it reads
Starting point is 01:17:26 it somehow or another even though it doesn't make any sense that well it's a method of divination it's a method of discovering yeah what's happening yeah it's a method of communicating with the spirit world you think that's what it is oh yeah oh yeah and and the thing is like getting back to the ai the artificial intelligence uh that we we already use artificial intelligence in our lives every day. Like Alexa is a good example. That bitch. Yeah. I love her.
Starting point is 01:17:54 I love her. Siri? She never steered me wrong yet. She's told me I've asked the wrong questions. Right. you know she's told me i've asked the wrong questions right but i i see this is my theory is that that we are we everybody in the universe wants us the spirits they want us to be enlightened you know because the more enlightened we are the more we can enjoy what we've inherited. Because when you're born into this world, you've inherited a kingdom.
Starting point is 01:18:31 You're taking it for granted. Amazing. Yeah, you've inherited a kingdom. Especially in comparison to the rest of time. All of human history. This is the greatest time, the greatest, most fortunate. That's what I'm saying. Look at us.
Starting point is 01:18:44 Look at what we got now going for us now. And how much effort did that take? You know? It was like being part of a team. And so when you're ready, boom, you're pushed out in front. You're up there. And so, you know, our duty as students is to learn everything we can learn and to teach whatever we can teach. And that's why there should be no paranoia
Starting point is 01:19:09 because we're not here long enough so that being rich or being poor makes any kind of a difference. Because you know yourself, I mean, what do you really need in this life? Right. What do you really need in this life? Right. What do you really need? Water?
Starting point is 01:19:27 Food? Companionship? Love? Yeah. Friends? Yeah. Yeah, and something interesting that you like to do. Yeah, because I've been hanging with billionaires now.
Starting point is 01:19:38 What have you been doing with them? You know, just hanging out. You know, they like me because I get recognized everywhere I go. And so it's sort of, it's like, you know, walking around with a famous guy. Yeah, you can get into restaurants and people will give me pictures, you know. And for the most part, they're hardworking, very, you know, like, a lot of burdens being rich. A lot of burdens. And, you know, just with me, you know, it's like instead of owning a boat, I'd rather know a guy that owns a boat.
Starting point is 01:20:23 Definitely you don't have to deal with any of the maintenance costs. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's true. I like to be free. I like to be totally free. Yeah. Yeah, that's the reality of, I mean, if you want to have a big, giant, crazy business,
Starting point is 01:20:37 you're going to have a lot of employees. You're going to have a lot of problems you have to deal with. And you're the last guy to get paid. Yeah. Yeah. And you're the last guy to get paid. Yep. Yeah. And you're the last guy that goes home. Yeah. Everybody else forgets what they're doing as soon as they walk out that door.
Starting point is 01:20:50 And all those problems are in your butt. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. I went through that. I had two nightclubs at one time, but I never bothered with the money part at all. I just worried about the stage and the mic was working. Where was this? In Vancouver was working. Where was this?
Starting point is 01:21:06 In Vancouver. When, how long ago was this? This was 60s, in the 60s. Yeah? You had nightclubs? Yeah. Like comedy clubs or like? Well, one, one was an after hours, sort of like a jazz dance bottle club.
Starting point is 01:21:20 And it was given to me. So there again, you know, hey, hey, tell me you want a club? And I said, sure. The guy bought. Why did, you want a club? And I said, sure. Why did he give you a club? Yeah. Well, he bought a building. And back in then, back in the day, there was a steakhouse in the basement. He says, well, that's yours.
Starting point is 01:21:37 Pay rent when you can. What? So I went in. What was this guy's deal? He owned buildings. He owned all the buildings. But most people that own buildings don't be giving them away. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:47 Oh, they do. Free rent. Free rent. You saw him all the time. You can get a year's free rent. Just because they want to get someone in the building? They want to get it going. See, as soon as we started being successful, we were paying $500 a month rent.
Starting point is 01:22:03 So he got you going. So we made a ton of money in there. And that's where I got the bands. That's where I honed my skills as a musician and singer and all that. And then I got offered another club because it was going under. And it was a dine and dance club in Chinatown. And I thought, yeah, I'd make a great strip club. And so we took it over.
Starting point is 01:22:30 The Shanghai Junk turned it into a strip club, Vancouver's first strip club. And then- You were the proprietor of Vancouver's first ever strip club? First strip club. Wow. First one. In fact, we did a midnight mass at a church. I think we had the stripper dancing.
Starting point is 01:22:52 At the church? But not stripping. She kept her clothes on, but she danced. Well, that's appropriate. Yeah. There's a line you can't grab. When did you start getting into live shows? Well, when I got fired from Motown because I had to get a green card,
Starting point is 01:23:09 and nobody at Motown knew what a green card was. And so I had to miss a gig to get my green card. I got the green card, and I came back, and I got fired. And so then Barry Gordy found out about it. He said, oh, you're not fired. I said, i think i'll stay fired i'm going to be at barry gordy i don't want to work for one and so then i came out to out to la and tried to live on the beach and be a songwriter but then my clubs were calling me
Starting point is 01:23:37 because they needed help so i went back and i turned the strip club into an improvisational club. So we were doing naked improv. It was great, man. All the girls, they were strippers. Once I turned them into actresses, they were a lot cheaper and they were a lot more beautiful. They talked, they did skits, and then they would take off their clothes when they had to. Within the script.
Starting point is 01:24:15 And that's where I met Cheech, because we had a straight guy, and the straight guy's wife found out what he was doing, and he hauled him away. And then Cheech came on board as a straight guy. And then when everything— This is in Vancouver? Yeah, in Vancouver, yeah. But Cheech is an L.A. guy, right? Yeah, he was up there in case a Viet Cong attacked from Alaska. So he was hiding from the draft. Well, not really.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Well, not really. He was trying to stay out of the way. Let's put it that way. Good move. And then he had to sneak back into L.A. from Canada. Really? Yeah. But it was easy coming into L.A. from Canada. Really? Yeah. But it was easy coming into L.A. from Canada.
Starting point is 01:24:47 He just showed someone else's ID, and they said, Hi, Guan. Back in the day. Yeah. The world was a lot slipperier. Yeah. So that's why I'm saying I'm so blessed, because everything, the universe.
Starting point is 01:25:00 And it was from the I Ching. One of the guitar players turned me on to the I Ching back then. And my reading was perfection. You're going to be, everything's perfect. You're going to really do well. And then Cheech and Chong and all that stuff happened. And here we are. And you guys are touring again.
Starting point is 01:25:24 Yeah. How long have you been touring again? When did you guys get back again yeah all right how long you've been touring again when did you guys get back together oh wait oh wait yeah 11 years how crazy is that that that's 11 years ago that doesn't seem like 11 years ago you say oh wait it's like oh it just happened and you're like oh no no it's 2019 it's almost 2020 no i know that that train keeps a rolling. It just never stops. What is this, Jamie? This is Bobby Taylor in the Vancouver's.
Starting point is 01:25:51 Whoa. That's me. That's you? Yeah. How old were you there? 20. Bobby Taylor in the Vancouver's. Why does that guy have sunglasses on?
Starting point is 01:26:03 Yeah. They did it even back then. Wow. Bobby Taylor in the Vancouver's. Why does that guy have sunglasses on? Yeah. They did it even back then. Wow. Bobby Taylor in the Vancouver's. That's the motel on Sunset Strip. Is that you with the yellow jacket? Which one's you there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you?
Starting point is 01:26:16 Yeah, that's me. Wow. That's me. That's crazy. And then we went over to England, met Jimi Hendrix, and changed our lives. This is the way we looked when we went over there. And we come back, long hair, everybody wore different clothes. Wow.
Starting point is 01:26:37 Yeah. Now, when you went from this to comedy, how did you make that leap? to comedy yeah like how did you make that leap well nobody really knew that i could talk you know i was in a black band so everybody else you know i was a guitar player so you know i had nothing to say other than i owned the club you know and no one knew that no one knew that i was always a backup guitar player. When I got into comedy, well, what happened? I had hired, when I turned the strip club into an improvisation club, I hired the act we already had, which was a black tap dancer named Taps Harris and Jeannie, a black singer, and they had a band. And so the first skit I had tap.
Starting point is 01:27:27 The first skit was about a pajama party that all the strippers were having at their house after. And so they all change into their pajamas in their little nighties, and that was very sexy. And then Taps comes by after the show, so-called, and they say, hey, Taps, do that number that you did on the show. And so Taps, first time he ever tap danced, you know, in front of a live audience. Because usually he was just an emcee.
Starting point is 01:27:55 So he did his tap dance. And it was so good that everybody wanted to encore. So they made him do an encore. He quit that night. Really? It was too hard work, man. He was hired just to, and here comes Lolo. And so the doorman, an English guy named Dave,
Starting point is 01:28:16 and so I said, Dave, I need an emcee. He said, well, I'll do it if you do it. And so I, oh, okay. And so we became oh, okay. And so we became, Dave was my first partner. And so we started, we had long hair and we were like hippies. And so we did a lot of hippies and TNA jokes, you know, tits and ass jokes. And then we had a guitar player named Gay DeLorme.
Starting point is 01:28:46 He wrote our big hit, you know, that You Ain't My Eye. He wrote the music. And so Gay was this incredible guitarist, and he could do all sorts. But he was a very funny, funny, funny guy. And so we wrote a skit, you know, where we would torture the audience. They were all bikers, mostly bikers, you know, come to a strip bar, you know, bikers and that. And so the first act, we had it, because when we turned it into a theater company, we attracted all the theater people, all the performers. You know, there's a stage.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Oh, boy, we'll go work there. And so we had a mime artist. And so we opened the show with a mime artist and Gabe playing classical guitar. He's playing this classical guitar. Now, this is a strip joint. And all the hardened bikers are sitting around waiting for naked girls to come out, and here comes a mime artist, you know, so pretending he's picking flowers and smelling them and throwing them, prancing around the stage. And so the bikers sat through that that you know, and they were yelling things like, hey Elvis
Starting point is 01:29:47 their remarks weren't that funny, and then Dave would come out and Dave's a very funny looking guy he looks like a improv actor, and he'd come out and he sings this horrible song I dream of Jeannie with the light brown
Starting point is 01:30:04 hair, Jeannie with the light brown hair. Jeannie is my favorite wired hair terrier. And then just when the bikers are getting ready to revolt, I kicked the door open. We had doors in the back, you know. And I kicked the door open, and I'm shirtless. My hair's messed up, and I got a rolled-up newspaper. And I walk over to Dave and go, what kind of fucking song is that? And I beat him to death with this newspaper.
Starting point is 01:30:31 And the bikers just exploded. The whole joint just exploded with laughter. Because we created that tension that long. And then the release was like, it's a roar. And then the word went out, boom. and that place was packed almost every night. Wow, what a weird world it must have been back then. Look at this, the City Works. Yeah, there we are.
Starting point is 01:30:54 There's Dave. Satirical sexy at the Shanghai Junk. There's Cheech in the far right. Wow, that's Cheech. That's crazy that that's Cheech. That's Dave, and that's me. Wow. That's Cheech. That's crazy. That's Cheech. That's Dave. And that's me.
Starting point is 01:31:08 Wow. Without a goatee. And that's the mime artist. That's Ian, the mime artist. And it's Wendy, Maureen, and Shirley. Wow. Shirley. What a weird world. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:20 Is it crazy looking at that? Oh, yeah. Wow. Memories, huh? Wow. Sandy and Lawrence. That was the first strip joint. Starting Tuesday.
Starting point is 01:31:31 Yeah, yeah. Wow. The police were there. And when did you start doing albums with Cheech? With Cheech? When did that happen? 71. How'd that all take place?
Starting point is 01:31:41 Well, we came to L.A. in 70, and we struggled. All the places we could work. Then we started being a regular at the Troubadour. They had Hoot Nanny Night, Sunday night. What's that mean? What's Hoot Nanny? Hoot Nanny is when folk singers would get on stage and sing a song. Hoot Nanny.
Starting point is 01:32:03 Hoot Nanny. The Hoot Nanny Night. And so all the singers would sing. And so we would get up and do comedy. And, of course, we became regulars. In fact, the troubadour would phone us up and say, are you guys coming? Because they had a lot of requests. And how did it turn into this weed-based comedy?
Starting point is 01:32:23 Well, it was the only thing that worked in this audience the weed see when we're the city works with all tna you know right but when we got down here we had to go right for the stoners because that was what was going on you know and so we played a club in uh recita irma, that's what it was called. And it was owned by a crazy, a big fan. He saw us work somewhere and so he hired us for two nights. And the first night,
Starting point is 01:32:55 first night we had to do two shows, but it was a dance club. And so the dancers had to stop dancing, sit down and watch us do a show. And that was not a good combination. So the first show to stop dancing, sit down, and watch us do a show. And it was not a good combination. So the first show didn't go very well because we were doing TNA stuff and it just didn't go over. And so the second show, Cheech and I got together. And I said, Cheech, come on, man, you're from here.
Starting point is 01:33:18 There must be a character you can do. And the night before that, we were standing outside and this lowrider pulls up and he goes, hey man, tell me how to get to Reseda Boulevard and Cheech says, oh, you're on it. He goes, oh, thanks man.
Starting point is 01:33:34 And he drove away and it was that character and Cheech says, yeah, well, yeah, we can do that character and then I showed him the car bit that's an old black comedian showed me Sir Pineapple. He showed me this old taking a girl out on a date.
Starting point is 01:33:51 And he'd just make the car appear by pretending to wash it. You know, just do the mime. And the car would appear. And then Cheech got in the car and he's driving. And then he goes, hey, Red Freak, want to ride, man? And then I would come out and we'd do our skits. And it went over really well. As soon as we started doing weed and pills and stuff like that, everybody related.
Starting point is 01:34:17 So you feel like you had that and then you just ran with it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then we just improved, improved, improved, improved. then you just ran with it oh yeah yeah and then we just improved improved improved improved and so when we met lou adler saw us and we never thought about doing a record until we went to meet in his office and he's got gold records over all over the place and we said yeah we could do a record you know i was a big lenny bruce fan anyway because when i got high the first time I the guy gave me a joint and a Lenny Bruce record so I studied that record for months and so that was ingrained in my head and so then when we
Starting point is 01:34:54 started doing the first bit we did was an accident Cheech got locked outside the the mixed down room that we were on La Brea, the old Charlie Chaplin studio. And it was a little courtyard where the sun was beating down. It was like noon, and it was hot. And Cheech is a method actor, and he had to put on all the costumes, you know, to get into character. So he's got all these costumes on.
Starting point is 01:35:20 He knocks on the door. And I was working the tape recorder, and when he knocked, I looked up at the door, and i didn't see if the needle moved or not and so when he knocked i didn't answer and then he knocked again and i saw the needle moved and so i said who is it and i was supposed to just open the door and let him in and so there's a pause it's me man it's me let me in come on man so then is that where dave's not here came from yeah so i waited then he knocked again in a long pause the pause who is it and he's getting mad come on man it's me i think the cops saw me come on open up you know they went into character. Then I just wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 01:36:06 He's waiting for me to open the door. Then he knocked again. And then finally he goes, it's me, Dave, man, Dave. I said, Dave? And he goes, yeah. I go, Dave's not here. He blew it. Kicking the door, screaming, open the door.
Starting point is 01:36:22 He almost punched me. But I said, listen, listen, listen. We played it back. Then Lou heard it. We recorded it. Not as funny, but we recorded it. And next day, it was all over America. Cheech and Chong was born.
Starting point is 01:36:40 Wow. And then how long after that did you start doing the movies? Seven years. 78. We started doing the movies because I got tired of going to Australia. Did you guys get accused of promoting pot? Oh, yeah. Did you get accused like you guys are a bad influence on the youth?
Starting point is 01:36:58 What was that like? It was nothing really. It was more publicity basically. You know, it was nothing really. It was more publicity, basically. You know, it's just people. You know what really got, what really I noticed anyway, it was the comedy establishment, the committee and the Second City and all those guys, they hated us. Really?
Starting point is 01:37:20 Hated us. Why? Except Belucci. Belucci was the only one that loved us. Because Bellucci was young enough that he heard our records and it influenced him. But these other guys like, what's his name? Can't even think of his name now. Maybe it's better.
Starting point is 01:37:38 I don't even name him. But Howard Hessman, he was one of the committee members, you know, WKRP in Cincinnati. Sure. He was a big, and I got influenced by him big time because I saw him doing the committee in San Francisco. And they had a top-notch improv group there, and they were incredible. And that's where I got the inspiration to go up and turn the strip club into a improvisational club because i love improv but why didn't those guys like you what was because we were successful we took what they were doing and took it out of that
Starting point is 01:38:16 that snotty uh theater theater you know i'm so i'm so evolved theatrically, you know, that who does records? You know, that kind of thing. So records were bad back then? Well, they ended up trying to do a record, but they had no clue. See, I'm a fighter, man. I've been in the trenches forever. I've been playing black clubs as long as I can remember. And so I've seen a lot of humor, a lot of stand-up comics, you know I've been playing black clubs long as I can remember and so I seen a lot of humor a lot of stand-up comics you know Redd Foxx was a real
Starting point is 01:38:50 good friend of mine did you ever do his comic club his yeah yeah yeah ever hear those Richard prior tapes from the Redd Foxx comedy club they would record him like doing his workout sets fucking amazing start amazing oh yeah Richard Richard was a big friend, big fan. Now, see, we had fans like that. When Cheech and I did the comedy store after Up in Smoke, we broke up with Lou,
Starting point is 01:39:15 we were broke, we had a hit movie, no money, nothing coming in. Really? What happened? They stole your money? With Lou? Yeah. Who's Lou?
Starting point is 01:39:23 Lou Adler. Okay. He's the producer Lou Adler. Okay. He's the producer and director of Up in Smoke. Although I wrote it and directed most of it, especially the ending, I directed it. Like again, like I said before, I'm not into the money part of it. But how were you guys broke? Well, we weren't getting any money from our life because we had to stop touring because of the movie.
Starting point is 01:39:49 And so we had no touring money coming in. Right. And then we got paid a little bit on the movie, but nothing compared to what we were making on the road. But it was a hugely successful movie, right? Totally, totally. But that's the way it is giant just to just they took all the money yeah yeah they did i mean we got uh we get dribs and drabs at
Starting point is 01:40:13 the end of the accounting yeah hollywood accounting yeah at the end of the period of you know when you forget when you're gone on to something else and you get a check, oh, that's nice. But so Cheech and I went to the comedy store to get our act together. And Richard Pryor helped us off the stage. We had about five sold-out shows. Paula Shore was the little guy up in the light booth watching us because he was too young to be in the crowd. watching us because he was too young to be in the crowd. And as we walked up the stage the first night, Richard held out his hand.
Starting point is 01:40:51 It was the greatest compliment ever. Wow. That must have been incredible. It was. Listen, man, you had an amazing life. You really have. The I Ching was correct. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:02 Totally. It's worked out incredible. I got to find a professional. You got to get them to come in and read us the I Ching. Somebody. Oh yeah. Totally. Totally. It's worked out incredible. I got to find a professional. You got to get them to come in and read us the I Ching. Somebody really knows their shit. Do it. It's easy. Read it.
Starting point is 01:41:15 There's a one called the Armstrong version. I'll text it to you. Okay. And just read it. Hey, listen, if I can follow instructions, anybody can follow instructions. Well, listen, brother, it was a pleasure having you on. Tell people about your weed, Chong's Choice.
Starting point is 01:41:30 We're going to get it. Dispensaries everywhere. It's our website. Yeah, there's websites. Actually, the fun is finding Chong's Choice because we are so elite as far as the testing and the purity of the product, that it's very rare that certain dispensaries have it. A lot of dispensaries don't. And they'll try to sell you something else. But don't settle for less, man.
Starting point is 01:41:57 Chong's Choice is the best. Chong's Choice, ladies and gentlemen. It's way better than Cheech's Private Scottish. How dare you? No, Cheech's private Scottish. How dare you? No, no, Cheech's. I mean, it's okay, but it's Mexican. Well, thank you, sir. Thanks for coming on here, man.
Starting point is 01:42:12 It's always a pleasure. My pleasure, Joe. And an honor. Thank you. Tommy Chong, ladies and gentlemen.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.