The Joe Rogan Experience - #1304 - Brendan Schaub

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Brendan Schaub is a mixed martial artist, former pro football player, and comedian. He hosts a podcast with Bryan Callen called “The Fighter & The Kid” and "The King & The Sting" with Theo Von. His comedy special "You'd Be Surprised" is available now on Showtime.

Australia to Salute my brother. Salute brother. Yeah, what's it feel like having a Showtime special? I Don't know. I feel the same little more stressed out stressed out. Yeah. Yeah stay away from them comment son There's a whole deal with all that stuff man. You put it out you watch it. You hate it You get better forces you force you to work. I fucking hate everything I do. So there's nothing just don't getting around it You're gonna hate it You hate hearing yourself Sure

The editing is painful Oh man The worst But you'll get better Yeah You just take Some of the criticism to heart Understand what people are saying

For sure And just Fucking keep on Keep it on my brother Yeah I'm happy about it I just I don't I think I'm stressed out this week

Because last week I was doing Publicity for like New York Like hustling Doing all that Yeah I saw you did Breakfast Club about it i just i i don't i think i'm stressed out this week he's last week i was doing publicity for like new york like hustling doing all that yeah i saw you did breakfast club charlamagne you and charlamagne need to get together okay you guys would be great man i was listening to his um his audio book it's very interesting he's had he's had some real bouts with anxiety yeah weird weird anxiety yeah weird anxiety right shook ones i think, yeah. I think it comes from talking shit. I think when you talk a lot of shit, you worry about shit coming back at you, and you're like, Jesus, what did I say?

At least that's how it is for me. It depends. If it's legit, like when me and Dana were going at it, I was stressed. Yeah, I bet you were too. Because it brings out the evilness in people. You know, everyone's like, oh, I hope he tears him up. Oh, I hope he responds. People jump in.

Yeah, and then you're like, oh, I don't really want this. Did you see Gaffigan and Neil Brennan? No. Dude. No way. Gaffigan lit Neil Brennan on fire and shit on his embers. No. For what?

Neil started it. Why? Neil started it. I'm going to send it to Jamie. I'm going to send it to Jamie. Oh, I'm so excited for this. In my So october text message group and listen i love neil oh it's not my favorite people when someone gets roasted someone gets roasted and it's even better because he started it he started it for no reason oh no yeah yeah yeah yeah he tried to be snarky here jamie i'm sending this

to you right now jim gaffigan is a ma-ma-ma-monster. Fantastic in Transylvania 3. Was he? Oh, amazing. Oh, I saw that. Van Helsing. Which one was he? He was Van Helsing.

Was he really? Yeah. Oh, my God, he's amazing. Great. I love those movies. Love them. They're fun. I love when my son gets into that stuff.

The fucking animation today is so incredible. I find myself sitting there watching the animation going, this is amazing. The shading and just the detail of it We can get into it Even if it's meant for kids Yeah As a parent I'm good man

Do you watch the Despicable Me's Oh yeah They're great They're great Part 3's amazing They're fucking great All three of them are great But I love part 3

With the 80's soundtrack And it's the guy The creator from South Park And isn't there another one With just the fucking yellow dudes The Minions Yes That's good too

That's good too Yeah I That's good, too. Yeah, I saw that one. A little long. Towards the end, it gets a little weird when they get to London, but very good. Yeah. They're good, man. I love them. It's funny when you...

So this is to text Brennan. Service. So what happens is Gaffigan puts up a thing saying, hey, why are you looking at your phone? You could be watching my Netflix special. I made them all for you. And he says, Neil says, which one has the joke about food? You say, like, a food, and then you talk about it, and I'd be over here dying. And then Gaffigan says, Neil, it's the special where I have three microphones.

One microphone is for jokes I pretend I can't remember that I read off a card. One mic is for emotional manipulation of the audience. And one microphone is for mentioning the Chappelle Show and celebrity friends. Boom. Oh. That's like- Awkward. That's like one of those bombs that goes off in the distance.

You just hear, boom. And we're just like this with- We got a little frisky. What happened? We got a little frisky. He had a vulnerable spot. Sometimes those guys fire back. Yep. Sometimes those guys fire back. Got a little frisky. What happened? He got a little frisky. Sometimes those guys fire back. Sometimes those guys fire back. Got a little vulnerable spot right there.

The liver was exposed. Neil just bowed out. Thank you for your time. Thank you. Yeah, you're supposed to bow out there. You fucked up. You're supposed to say, ouch, you got me or something. Just joking, man.

Yeah. Like sometimes when King of the Sting, Theo and i roast each other and he's so good at it sometimes i was like i'm gonna sit out man just go go ahead man i got nothing i've ran out of material theo go ahead some of the things he says are so theo like he theo is like there's a few guys theo's one of them sebastian's another one that have the like a style of comedy that you will never be able to explain to someone they got to go see him like you got to listen to him and it's so strange where most the king this thing podcast is mostly me saying something pretty average and then theo just saying the most outlandish thing

and me laughing my ass off the funnest show ever well you guys go back and forth at each other it's very funny so funny man yeah he's a unique dude very unique dude as unique as they get yeah he's in australia right now he goes yeah he's in australia he's australian right now and he goes yeah this is this morning he was yeah man got a koala come come to the hotel and i went oh shit man those things have uh chlamydia so make sure you wash your hands and he goes Shit I have some things too He better wash his hands He's so stupid He said he better

Wash his hands Oh my god That's funny But it's legit A koala's coming over to his fucking hotel. That's so Theo. He's so funny. Brody was that way, too.

Brody had that unique style, too. He's so special, man. Theo's so special. He is very unusual. And you just know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just know it, man. People are asking what it's like to work with Theo.

All you guys. And I said, with Theo, it's like he's the LeBron James of comedy. He's so creative. I'm just that shitty coach on the side trying to manage this ball game. Not to fuck it up, man. But he's just, I mean, there's other guys that are funny, but they're funny in like a regular way. Like, oh, he's really good.

His jokes are great. Oh, he's got a great presence. He's great on stage. But Theo's like, try to explain that. You can't explain that you gotta go it's a magical cluster of dark magic from new orleans where he'll say something i'm like there's certain guys i can watch and i'll go oh he he's definitely his iq might be higher than me mine but i see how he got there with this premise of a joke with theo i'm like god i have no idea how he got there i've it's not happening you know who gives me stress when i look at his schedule russell peters yeah he's even like he's

all over the fucking pipe right now he goes to africa for like six weeks like he's all you hear michael bisping almost got fucking robbed in africa did he really yeah he's doing a movie the fuck was he doing africa he's doing a movie and expendables 19 i don't know what it was he's doing a movie he got a little liquored up uh his cab dropped him off and said your uh your hotel's over there he get out of the cab he's like where the fuck's my hotel the cab driver drives off he's like looking around for the hotel is and he said like 10 dudes just started rolling up on him saying i want your wallet you know if you want to live you'll give me your wallet yeah is this south africa Africa This is like

Francis Ngannou I think he's in Pretoria Fuck man Yeah so he ran And then he got away obviously Yeah he got away Yeah but He's probably gonna get caught right

Yeah Black He's a big fella You know He's Michael Biss thinks he's a big fella He knows how to fight And they probably

Could sense that a little bit But if there's ten of them They usually don't give a fuck And he's probably hammered too There might have been what if what if it was 10 francis and gano then you're giving your wallet and just the homies bro if there's one francis and gano what the fuck you gonna do nothing what the fuck you gonna do yeah um i love this being man eddie was telling me that when he was running he ran like 27 marathons in south africa and when he went through certain sections of south

africa they go stop you are not running through this area we're going to put you in a car we're going to drive you to where it's safe and then you're going to continue your run but you will get robbed like it's like there's areas where you just will get robbed i have no interest in going to africa everyone's like oh it's beautiful very cool i want to go you really yeah i want to go i want to see what those animals look like in the wild. I would love to see, you know, before we fuck Africa up. You got 12 years, they say. Before everything's gone?

Before the way humans are fucking up the world, there's no going back. If we don't make a change now. Now, that's from the ending of the Little- That sounds like a Michael Jackson song. Well, that- Changed. That's from the ending of Little Dicky's new video of saving the world but it does say it's like earth.org it's like that's a quote from them i don't think they know you see the reality is

they know there's a real problem with carbon in the environment they know that human beings have put carbon in the environment in unprecedented levels and they know that the earth is heating up rapidly but they don't know know what exactly is going to happen. There's some models. They predict. None of them look good. They don't really know. No one really knows.

Some people are like, oh, global warming's not real. Obviously, our president doesn't think it is. It's real. But if you go back to the 1990s, they were predicting shit was going to happen that never happened. Same thing with the 2000s. But here we are in 2019. We should listen to them because we're definitely fucking up definitely fucking up the more whales and stuff with

like trash and stuff that's a giant problem there's also too many people yeah but what are you gonna do well there's two schools of thought on that even the schools of thought on people is what happens is as the world gets more and more um westernized as people start developing careers people have less and less kids and that if you look at japan and you look at some westernized nations they actually have a shortage of kids and they they think that and this is purely speculative right it's just theoretical they think that as the world becomes more and more industrialized and westernized and more technology and more advanced that people will

start to have less kids that's a fair point but also even americans they're having kids later and i think less as well yeah that's america but also isn't there parts of australia and africa where no one's really there so if we had to, we could colonize that and make it more livable. Bro, the parts of Australia where no one lives, no one wants to live. You don't want to live in the fucking middle where all the crocodiles are and shit. But we could figure it out. Yeah, you could figure it out. Shoot a couple crocs, build a loft.

Fucking snakes everywhere that'll kill you. I mean, there's a lot of parts of Australia. Australia is huge. It's as big as the United States. It's so big. But there's a lot of parts of Australia. Australia is huge. It's as big as the United States. It's so big. But there's giant parts of Africa, too. Mm-hmm. Giant parts where we could live if we had to.

But Australia has less people than L.A. I know. The whole goddamn country. You've been there, right? Yeah, a bunch. I love it there. Love it. Nice people.

I'm sure you've done comedy. Yeah, yeah. A bunch of times. The best. Yeah. Sydney, Melbourne. Melbourne's great. Amazing.

I love Sydney, too, though. I have a great time there. You've been to New Zealand? Yeah. No, I've of times. The best. Yeah, Sydney, Melbourne. Melbourne's great. I love Sydney, too, though. I have a great time there. You've been to New Zealand? Yeah. No, I've never been to New Zealand. Dude, it's straight off of Jurassic Park. What'd you do there? Comedy.

No shit, when? Did a theater in New Zealand. When'd you do this? I think like a year and a half, two years ago, I did a tour of Australia and New Zealand. Damn, that's when you were just starting, too. That's crazy. Check this out. No openers.

Came out cold. Oh, my God. Why'd you do that? I don't crazy. No one. Hey, out. No openers. Came out cold. Oh, my God. Why'd you do that? I don't crazy. No one. Hey, man. I wouldn't have told you. You shouldn't have asked.

I don't go to Australia and just go by yourself, man. You didn't even ask. Nah, I just went, dude. Here I am. Showtime. Special. It was fun, though. Good experiences.

Oh, they're good people. I like the people. Everybody I met from New Zealand, it's very similar to Australian people, very down to earth. Super nice. Yeah. It's a beautiful place man I mean They did the Hobbit there

For a fucking reason Yeah Good point Good food Good people Yeah I could Not that I could ever leave LA

But I could see I could live somewhere like that I could live in Australia Me too It's very American But clean I feel like Yeah but that's

The driving on the wrong side Of the road shit Like get it together folks We invented cars The fuck are you doing over there in the left lane That is strange Do you know where that came from Yeah now correct me

Okay This is bro science But when they were developing It was like the wagons with the horses It's for sword fighting right Yeah for horses and sword fighting Oh yes You got it

Yeah that's why you swing a sword with your right arm You want your right arm to be facing your opponent. You want it to be free, right? Yeah. You don't want the dude to be over here on this side. You got to reach over and try to hack at him. It doesn't make sense. That's why.

Here's a little loophole. If you want a dope-ass rear car, you can get one with driving on the right, and it's going to be cheaper. If you want a Ferrari F12 TDF, like a limited one, you can save money if you get one that's set up on the right. That's set up on the right like an English car would be? Yeah. Really?

Because they're harder to resell because there's less and less people. Just throw them away. Oh, come on, dude. Fix it. But you could just drive on the right. You're still in a dope-ass ride. Can they switch it out? Ugh, it'd be expensive.

Probably just buy it on the other side for the price. What are they going to do? Switch it out. They'd have to change everything. It's be expensive. Probably just buy it on the other side for the price. What are they going to do? Switch it out. They'd have to change everything. It's a nightmare. I saw they did that to this Revology car, this 1965 Mustang. They built one that was on right-hand drive. And I'm looking at it.

I'm like, this is all so screwy. Why would people not come to an agreement on which side of the road to drive on? It's very strange that they just stick with it. Yeah. And it differs. It differs from, like in Europe, it differs from country to country. Yeah. It's almost an ego thing now, right?

Where they're like, nah, fuck it. Refuse to change. Ah, most of the world's on the left though, man. We don't care. Yeah. Well, Germany makes the best cars, or some of the best cars. For sure. They're on the left.

Europe makes the best cars, and they're on the left, right? Yeah. America makes some pretty good cars, but really the reality is they can't go toe-to-toe with Europe. They just can't. Dude, I was at this private car dealer, and there's those Paganis. Have you ever seen those? That's like a million-dollar car, right?

Yeah, some of them are, you know, you're looking, six, seven million dollars. Paganis, there's Bugattis that that the rare brand new bugatti and then there's all these limited edition ferraris and lamborghinis and he goes oh floyd bought that one you can sit in it though he won't care you can sit in it and it was all like carbon fiber i was like how much is it and whatever the new bugatti is but there's a markup on them because there's only like 20 of them where the fuck it is and it was so expensive i got nervous i went i'm good man he's you know what's in i went no i don't feel comfortable i'm good i just didn't feel comfortable open this thing i don't know i felt very million

dollars so yeah it's crazy that you could buy a car that's worth more than most people's houses 99 of the world's houses yeah 99.9 of the world's houses yeah and you're just twerking that thing around yeah and you're just driving around this thing that you can't even sleep in And then most You can't do shit Drive fast as shit Drive fast as shit 25 G's just to change the tires though

Is it really? Yeah every year That's hilarious If you're driving it Is this it right here? Do you see how it's already scratching? Go back to the beginning of that video Look at the underside

The underside of that thing is jacked And that's all carbon fiber so he scratched the fuck out of it man yeah well those cars they scratch every time you hit a bump every time you go over curbs and that's the old one jamie that's i mean that's when i have my little red car the little red porsche every time i leave the comedy store it's scrape it's embarrassing it's annoying and it's so sad it's sad i didn't mind the other day i was taking my dad to get ice cream i hit the front of my car scrape ruin my night ruin my night my dad goes what do you want i don't give a fuck damn i'm so disappointed so sad i know it's just a car though right it is just a car that's the problem with nice things they become little velvet prisons but you got to drive them like uh the dealer i was talking to where all these freaking

dudes buy these million dollar cars he's like you know what bothers me is they don't drive them none will drive them for them it's investment and then they flip them years from now oh because we want people that drive the cars and now what ferrari's doing like if you want an enzo you want a certain like limited run tdf or the pizza if you want some of those real limited edition ones they look at your history because you have to own like the past 10 ferraris yeah they have a weird curriculum if you want to get a special limited edition but they now they check if you've driven it if you're just a collector they don't sell them to you anymore oh my god certain ones they go back and look at your history you have to own all the old ferraris to qualify to buy a ferrari certain ferraris certain

to get on the accolade, like on the list. So if you want like the new, whatever, the super fast, the limited TDF they're going to do, yeah, you have to own all the V12s and certain ones before that. That is hilarious because that just shows you how goofy people are. Like they know that people are goofy and they know that all you have to do Is sneak in on them some sort of exclusive thing That nobody else can have So when you roll up on it you look like a champ And no one else does

Even if it sucks Even if it's a sucky car You know why I like it though? Why? Because let's say some rich billionaire Where his daddy gave him all his money He can't roll in the front and be like I'll take that

That's kind of cool Now it's a little extreme with the 10 and you got to own all the V12s. Nah. But what do you mean, ah? They can suck it. You don't like it? Nah. Is it because you can't?

Well, you probably, I don't know. I mean, who knows? You get it used, though. That's the thing. You just buy it used, though. All right, cool, dude. That fuck's going to buy it. Now I should get it from him.

You're not going to stop it. It's like illegal streaming. You guys are just dumb business people. How about make more cars stupid well no you don't you don't want to become a tesla or prius how can they how much can they sell how many are they leaving on the table think about it that way i don't think they care right how many people are how many people are buying ferraris let's just take a guess let's just say worldwide a hundred thousand people are buying ferraris maybe it would be two000. Maybe if they just stopped being twats, there'd be 200,000 Ferraris out there instead of 100,000.

I don't think they want that, though. If everyone can have it, you don't want it, right? That's just weird, man. Girls are that way with purses. You ever talk to girls about certain purses? Oh, for sure. They get weird about purses. It's so hard to get that purse.

I'm like that with shoes, though. I want the exclusive shoe. That purse? But you're kind of like that. You're knocking it, but you're kind of like that.'re knocking it but you're kind of like that what am i like well with your custom cars like one of the reasons that make it really cool is you're not going to see that custom car anywhere else that is specifically designed by you that's true but that's not why i like it well i like it is because you could get something that you can't get anywhere else that's what i

mean as far as performance. Like when I get the, like a Shark Works car, like the white car, that car, you can't just get that car. It's a six-speed manual. They don't make six-speed manual GT3 RSs anymore. It has a 518 horsepower engine. You can't get that. They boarded it out. They put fatter tires in it.

They beefed up the suspension. They changed everything. For sure. Like your Bronco Exhaust Right Yeah Okay

It's pretty custom Can't buy those Can't buy them Right But honestly Custom for Joe That car is like That's a cool looking car

Hell yeah it is But if you had to drive that every day You'd probably blow your fucking brains out Unless you're one of those renegade dudes Like Lorenzo Lamas Back in the day Wore cowboy boots Dusting his hair.

I feel like Tate Fletcher would drive that every day. At the end of 2017, the total of Ferrari built and sold cars in the whole company history is $199,000. So $200,000 ever. You said $200,000 a year, but you were close. Wow. I was way off. That would be like $8,000 to $10,000 a year, it looks like. From what I just read.

See, that's dope. That's why it's so hard to get one. Yes. Yeah. It's kind of cool. Yeah, look, it is definitely cool. It's a cool car. I mean, there's a reason why people want them.

They don't want shitty cars. No, they're a good car. I wouldn't mind. There's a, I think it's a 4, or maybe it's a, I don't know if it's a 4.8, but they did make that in manual. It's so expensive. What I like about custom cars is that they're mechanical. When I talk about muscle cars or Porsches or stuff like that, what I like is that they're mechanical. They're all stick shifts, manual transmissions.

You feel the gears and you feel the brrrr. I like that. I love that. Yeah. I'm into that for whatever reason but i'm also into that fucking tesla that tesla's got me hooked yeah for sure that thing puts a smile on my face i know you does it really oh my god more so than when your porsches nope there you go not more so oh man it's gonna walk a different smile different smile yeah it's like wow the future's weird. Yeah. Because it's just, it's so much more capable. No, no, no, no.

It's not ferocious. Like a Ferrari's ferocious. That noise, the engine, the explosions behind your ear, mid-engine car, that's a different thing. Like a muscle car, that rumble, the fucking big-ass V8 and the fat tailpipes. That's a different feel, you know? Completely different. Yeah,

what you get from a Tesla is like, whoa, every other car just seems stupid. It's like you're just making a lot of noise, but it just,

this thing just goes quicker. It goes places. It's like, what the Tesla does, it violates what you think the laws of driving are in terms of like

how quick a car can get from there to there. And it does it with no sound. So it's's just strange there's no torque or anything right it's just zero jesus christ it's just a thousand foot pounds of torque isn't it just like it's a video game throws you back like the craziest roller coaster you've ever been in yeah it goes zero to 60 in 2.4 seconds you have the ludicrous one yeah that's all i always leave it on ludicrous yeah i never switch it off that shit. Why would I? Yeah.

I don't drive it. You don't have to drive it like an asshole, but when you want to, it's right there. Is it using up more of the electricity when you use it? It eats that battery, kid. If you want to drive, what do they say? It gets 317 miles? My ass. Like grandma drives.

Yeah. Like daddy drives, it gets like 170 like 170 like that you might get 170 the way i drive they were saying that uh people applying for driver license especially kids like our kids i don't know if they're even be into cars i was talking to my dad i went how cool is it like tigers has all he's been in all these cool cars hopefully he's into cars when he gets older and my dad's like yeah maybe if he even wants a driver license because now it's so low of kids passing their driver license test because they just uber everywhere right they're like why what why do i pay for a car that is a great thing that you don't have to think about like that that does help a lot like you don't

think about drunk being drunk driving drunk you know going to someone's house after the bar it's cool it's an option but it's not cool that kids there's something there's some freedom about driving like there's a good feeling there is there's also the problem with things like uber is you're going to get into a car with a person that you don't know and i'm sure most of them are great i'm sure but every now and then you're going to get into a car with someone who's fucking nuts and they're going to have some crazy political podcast on Want to talk to you about

Hillary Clinton's emails There's an option now You know that? Yeah You can click to They don't talk to you Do you want them to talk? No

That's a new option they're doing They don't have to abide by it I don't think It's like a preference For the rider Like hey By the way As I get in your car

I really would prefer You don't talk to me But the driver is like You're in my car Fuck you Yeah but most drivers You're like Oh he clicked don't talk if he's like hey i'd like did you see the don't talk or yeah the move is hey you got you got music up there can you turn it up then they usually don't talk but there has been a thing to your point where there's been

people you know faking like the uber drivers putting the sign on them murdering women there's that yeah there has been that i heard about that recently dude like i've been in this and i've been having terrible dreams i need to get off of it or just figure out how to deal manage it better but i was doing a uh show on serious with jim norton and he brought in this the guy who basically created mind hunter he was this like he's interviewed all the serial killers and speaks to him and they brought him in i think his name's john douglas they brought him in. I think his name's John Douglas. They brought him in. He's just talking.

It was fascinating. I was like, oh, shit. So I got his book, almost finished his book. I'm like, this is great, man. And then started listening to a podcast he's on. It's just about murder and death. And I started looking up all this Charles Manson stuff. And I've been having awful nightmares and been a little depressed.

And you know me. It's very rare I'm down. It's just a dark fucking world, man world man yeah you watch those true crime shows oh fuck your head dude it makes you scared of everything but it's also going on it's going on in very small numbers very very small numbers but it is going on what it is is like people that have been abused people have been fucked up psychopaths and people that have been through the correction system through the penal system yeah that's a lot of it's so dark man there's not that many of them and this this guy has uh three daughters i was like how can you like he was talking about this seven-year-old terrible story and uh i was like how can you go home man and sleep he's like eventually you know it's just

a job like it does affect me a little bit. I'm like, do you just lock up your kids? Like, just from hearing you, I don't want my son going to school. I don't want him leaving. He's like, no, you learn to manage it. And he did say that. He's like, this is the exception. Like, there's some dark stuff out there.

But these gentlemen, he interviewed Charles Manson. He was saying how he's 5'2", and he always has to speak over you, no matter what's going on. So they're in this room. There's three people. And Charles Manson, he saying how he's five two and he always has to speak over you no matter what's going on so they're in this room there's three people and Charles Manson he got on a chair and stood over him shouted down to him what was he saying I don't probably try and convert him into you made me man you people made me eat your garbage man man man I'm a product of your society man he's fucking crazy he was crazy he had a quote though he has a quote that I was reading again Hey, man. Man. I'm a product of your society, man. He's fucking crazy. He was crazy.

He had a quote, though. He has a quote that I was reading. Again, I'm too into it, man. I'm quoting Charles Manson. What's going on with my life? He was saying that it used to be like you were the exception when you're crazy. Now everybody's crazy. That's what Manson was saying? Yeah.

He's like, it used to be kind of cool, the end thing, to be crazy. Now, inside, everybody's crazy. Well well he made it popular the fuck do you know how popular that fucking crazy serial killer is and all his followers oh my god even to this day like i was reading this article in rolling stones how many books and even merch and to buy locks of his hair is 50 grand it's going for 50 grand to buy locks of his hair and how he sells merch that's grand to buy locks of his hair. And how he sells merch. That's insane. 50 grand for locks of his hair? Yeah. How much is a lock?

What does that get you? I don't know. I lost out on the bid. Cut a lock in half? You know what I'm saying? Who's to say? Joe, let's split it. Put it in here, bro.

Who's to say how many hairs? Is it a lock? Yeah, I know. It could be a big piece, though. What if he shaves his balls and you give a saran wrap baggie of his pubes? How much does that worth? 100 Gs? Probably. Dick piece be a big piece, though. What if he shaves his balls and you give like a saran wrap baggie of his pubes? How much does that worth? 100 Gs. Piece of his dick piece?

100 Gs, dude. Charles Manson dick piece? He was married when he died. The crazy bitches find serial killers in jail and marry them. Happened with Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker. There's some sexual thing to it, right? Yeah, some women want to be around killers and even in particular guys have killed women how crazy is that it's very crazy can you imagine when your daughter's

in there let's say 22 marries a serial killer in prison at least you know she's not gonna die but safe look there's people out there i don't have to tell you, that do a fucking terrible job of raising their kids. You know, it's one of the reasons why people like you, people like me, people that get into being a parent, that really enjoy it. When you see something like that, it's even more disturbing because you know that when you see a serial killer or someone's fucked up, that person was a baby that had a terrible life, like almost always.

They just got a shitty roll of the dice. They got bad parents it's usually the moms it's a relationship with the moms that fuck them up not so much the fathers usually them it's a the mother uh son relationship really yeah usually always mother son and that's what usually causes the horrible that's why norman bates from psycho was so so dead on right yep he's dealing with his mom he dressed up like his mom you hear that guy he's the one who literally he's jeffrey domner charles manson it when there's something going like uh he was talking about john bonnet which you know i'm from denver went to school in boulder that was the john bonnet ramsey murder case was such a big deal yeah and they still can't sell that house they

can't they can't sell it no i had a buddy my strength coach uh doc crease rented it it was like ah fuck a ghost and moved in there. Like, right after the murders. Anyway, so. How did he handle it? Did he freak out? No, he's cool. He's from Louisiana. Like, real tough dude.

Didn't give a fuck. He says he didn't give a fuck. They're missing a chromosome down there. Yeah, you'd be pretty crazy to move in there. It was a great deal, and it was a great spot. It was for sale for years. For years. They might have knocked it down.

They should. I drove to the O years. They might have knocked it down. They should. I drove to the OJ Simpson. They should knock it down. They should take out all the dirt and replace it with new dirt. Yeah, they should just knock down everything. Just knock it down and dig a hole all the way to hell. Whatever the fuck dirt was there. It's so dirty, man.

But that dude, he was just talking, talking. And it was fascinating. I didn't say a word. And then we went to John Bonet. I'm like, ooh, I'm going to chime in here because I know this case. And I know it well. i didn't say a word and then we went to john bonet i'm like oh i'm gonna chime in here because i know this case and i know it well and jim asked him a question there was like my time to jump in i go yeah but yeah it was probably the parents right or maybe the son and he hasn't acknowledged me this entire interview i don't know if jim remembered noted this and he goes what'd you say i was and i could tell i fucked up i was it's probably the

parents or the son right and he goes absolutely not absolutely not brendan and then goes on how ridiculously of an assumption that is and i go well but who does he think did it uh he was it's not them he and he goes he goes the problem is is the the narrative that got painted outside of that when the media was going crazy. And even the Boulder police, he goes, they were so far off. And he listed like 10 reasons why it wasn't them. And I kind of felt like an idiot. I went, very cool. I'll buy the book.

I'm going to shut the fuck up now. The only problem was that a handwriting expert had connected the mother's handwriting to the ransom note. Dude, get him on this podcast. Be be fucking fascinating he's doing promotion right now i mean i have no idea who killed john johnny douglas this guy do remember i don't think he knows no no he knows it he can tell you from his 70 years of experience dealing with murders it's not the parents but he had like evidence why it wasn't because i said the same things right i'm balls deep and john bonet grew up around it it was like such a culture phenomenon did he say who he thinks it is yeah he did i forget but it's not the person who's alive i don't know you gotta have a mom okay it was so i'm telling you i've listened to a shitload of show shit and i was so into this man

i didn't promote my special i was there for my special i didn't say a word yeah i made one stupid comment about john bonet's family and then he was like shut the fuck up those fucking shows are very compelling man why do you think that is crime shows what do you think why are we well like why am i drawn to am i fucked up no why am i drawn to the serial killer if you are fucked up you're just like everybody else because why did i buy charles manson's pubes on eBay. How much did you pay? 70 Gs, man. Can you imagine? 70 Gs. But his pubes, they plucked them out so it has some DNA in them.

Dude. You could recreate Charles Manson. What is this? Charles Manson's hair. $2,400. That's a steal. This is for a bag of hair off the head of Charles Manson. It was obtained July 2016 from an associate of Charles Manson. Oh, no, that's sweet, dude.

The COA will be, Certificate of of Authenticity will be included upon purchase. By the way, there are no Certificates of Authenticity when it comes to Charles Manson's hair. It's not like there's an accrediting body. Who's like, it's DNA. We go over every aspect of his purchase. That shit's weak, though, man. You want that 1970s hair strain. You don't want the updated shit. You want to be there shit's weak, though, man. You want that 1970s hair strain.

You don't want the updated shit. You want to be there when he cuts it off, really. Yeah, you want to film him cutting it off, and then you want to vacuum seal it and sign it and film the whole thing. You put it in one of them fucking vacuum bags. And then sell it. And then seal it. Yeah, that way no one's touched it.

Chops right off his hair. You got video footage of it. You got video footage of him autographing the bag. What the fuck is wrong with us? Why are we talking about this? It's fascinating to me. Did you watch the Game of Thrones finale? Did you get bummed out?

You know what? It's like somebody else wrote it. I think they did. Yeah, it's very strange. I thought they did. I did like season eight, not as good as the other seasons. Hey, let's let everybody know right now. Spoiler alert Hold up What is today?

Thursday? Yeah yeah yeah But some people have jobs Is it Sunday? Some people have jobs Sunday? Some people work all day Four days?

Some people work all day I heard the New York Times Put it on the front page of the paper On Monday Yeah we're clear bro It's a serious finale I think you're allowed to Yeah but they did that

Because they can do that Not because they should do that Nah whatever The next day is a little Well I think I think movies You got a week Yeah, but they did that because they can do that, not because they should do that. The next day is a little fun. Well, I think movies, you got a week. Movies, you got a week. TV show, two days. Damn. Especially for that.

What, are we not supposed to talk about it because you're busy? That's insane. Did you like it? That's exactly what it is. No, I didn't. I left unsatisfied. I left unsatisfied. When they made, spoiler alert, Homeboy the King, I was like, what in the fuck are you

talking about? He didn't want it. The whole fucking season. All of a sudden, everybody's fighting to the death over who's the king. They're ready to stab their brother, kill their mom. They'll kill anybody. They'll betray lovers. But now, this guy's like, all right, I'll take it.

And everyone's like, you should be the king. They're like, okay. And they all agree. And how about that one guy that just stood up and is like, maybe I could be the king. They're like, sit down. She said, sit down, bitch. What is this, the Sopranos? Like, what are you doing?

Who is this guy? Who is that guy? Bobby Lee had the greatest, I thought it was such a good ending. So he says when everyone goes, you know, when they're deciding to be the king and then homeboy who's crippled is like, I'll do it. And then when they're wheeling him away, he just looks over and he has the fucking white walker eye. Ooh, that would work.

And then it closes. You know what should have happened? That's Bobby Lee's idea. Jon Snow should have fought to the death with that dude who has no dick. Yeah. I want to see that shit, dude. They should have fought to the death. They hated each other.

Yeah, they hated each other. And how about that dude was like, yeah, cool, we'll let you go. He's just like yeah You killed my girl See ya No big deal Just you get on the boat What the fuck Yeah that's just

There's no way They should have fought to the death 100% Did you like episode 3 I'll tell you what I liked I like when the hound Knocked the mountain Off into the fire

That was dope That was poetic justice That was a dope scene And he died by fire That was a dope scene That shit was dope The best scene In justice. That was a dope scene. And he died by fire? That was a dope scene. That shit was dope. The best scene in the whole fucking series, though, was when, the best scene in the whole fucking series, when she was telling that dude that he betrayed her, and then from the

darkness, the dragon's face appears. And you're like, oh, Jesus. That was a powerful scene. Those dragons are so fucking cool. They're so scary. I'm so happy there's people out there That do special effects like that That shit was dope

Because it used to be kind of like semi corny Super corny You remember what was that movie There was a good dragon movie with Matthew McConaughey Back when Matthew McConaughey was jacked Someone just brought this up Homeboy from Australia was in it too Batman

What's his name? Christian Bale Someone just brought this up on my show. A homeboy from Australia was in it too. Batman. Fuck's his name. Oh, fuck. What's his name? Christian Bale. Christian Bale. Christian Bale was in it. Reign of Fire. What is it called?

Reign of Fire? Yeah. The dragons in there were corny compared to the Game of Thrones dragon. It has to be believable, dude. Let me see a video. That poster looks sick. Obviously, we can't show it on the podcast or we'll get arrested and castrated. Joe Carnahan was just talking about this.

Bro, this fucking movie was not a bad movie. It was a little corny. But for a dummy like me who really likes dragons, it was great stuff. It was an interesting movie. But the dragons, it's just crazy how much... Because I want to say this was probably 2004. Am I correct? Before that.

2002? I was pretty close. Yeah, pretty close, dude. You've been on today. But the difference between what the dragons looked like 17 years later in terms of special effects. Oh, dude, even dinosaurs from Dress Park 1 to Dress Park World. Yeah, look at them. They look...

They're not showing you much. They're not going to show you. That's a dragon's vision, though. It's kind of gay. Why is a dragon's vision homosexual? When I came out with my mouth, I'm like, why did I say that? Because you're a man. And we've been doing this our whole lives, so we have to relearn it.

I know. We've got to reprogram our brains, dude. How about with Charlamagne? I said, bitch. I went, oh, that bitch is hot. And he goes, in 2019, you're still calling women bitches, huh? I went, no. But you were. But yes. Yeah. But when he said that, I went, you're still calling women bitches, huh? I went, no. But you were.

But yes. Yeah. But when he said that, I went, you got a good point. Sometimes I do it on accident, like when we're watching, when we do a fight companion. Right, right, right. I go, damn, that bitch is tough. Yeah, but you don't, it's all, here's the thing, man. Context.

Yes. Don't make more words toxic. It's all about intent. Like, what are you trying to say? toxic it's all about intent like what are you trying to say like if if a if a girl is a beast and she's just a badass woman and she walks out and she's got i'm good i'm good and she's got like this crazy tight skirt on this banging body that she's worked hard at in the gym and she's got a beautiful dress and she looks great like damn that bitch is hot that is not negative it's not it's not negative is it derogatory though but does it no but it's not negative if you go you

fucking silly bitch to me i'll laugh i'll fall down the floor i'll start laughing like you can call me a bitch and i think it's funny yeah but if you're like hey man you know you're being a bitch fucking made fun of me on the podcast bro that was a bitch move i'd be like hey whoa whoa whoa whoa but it's different same thing as like when i if a a bitch move i'd be like hey whoa whoa whoa whoa but it's different same thing as like when i if a car drives by i'd be like damn that motherfucker is bad yeah but if the guy rolled down as well as the k motherfucker right right right different different yeah it's intense the problem is when you have a word you can't say the word has too much goddamn power it's not that you should say the word like don't get me wrong

like there's certain words you probably shouldn't say because we've all agreed that those words have a negative impact the f word probably right yeah yeah that's probably one we stay away from we've all agreed yeah we've all agreed it has a negative impact on people but the the real problem is intent the real problem is homophobic behavior in that in that or homophobic homophobic is homophobic behavior in that, or homophobic thinking, homophobic ideology, thought processes, thinking that gay people are bad, thinking there's anything wrong with being gay. That's the real problem. If there was no problem with that at all, I mean, I just feel like it's not the right

move to make words the problem. The problem is the way people think and behave and i think ultimately there's a real problem with language itself because i think language is too limited i think we're when you have magic words you can't say and they have all this extra power connected to give some power but lenny bruce talked about that in the 60s he had a great bit about that about saying all these words because you could take away the meaning of them and it won't hurt anybody's feelings anymore but don't you think if let's say you are a homosexual and gay is like that's what we refer to you as gay is such a negative connotation because growing up gay meant like not good so i'm like god you look gay dude right right right yeah that car's gay

right right right yeah that's the problem that's the problem that's so ingrained in my vernacular and the problem is it's such a good sound for that thought fun word the same thing is like calling someone a faggot you faggot like that word like when you say it like that even if it's your friend like your best friend it's got that sound make us laugh because it sounds good it's got a pop to it. There's power with that T. It starts with a fuck you. It starts with an F. It's so raw and aggressive. It has zero to do with being gay, but you can't say it anymore because it hurts gay people's feelings.

Like when Mike Tyson goes, I'm going to fuck you until you love me, faggot. Right, right, right. That makes sense. You're going to fuck that guy and call him a faggot. But you're make sense yeah you're gonna fuck that guy and call him a faggot that was but you're fucking hit you're trying to fuck him who was the fucking reporter he was yelling at he was terrified who was that reporter because that guy is that guy did he vanish off the face of the earth after that i would like to know who that guy was i was ringside when dionte wilder knocked out brazil i was in bro in Brooklyn for that with my brother. Bro. Dude. Bro. Dude.

That guy. I've been in fights. I've been knocked out. I've been at UFC fights where dudes get knocked out. I have never in my life heard someone get knocked out like that. My brother goes, oh my God. My brother's a raw dude. He goes, oh my God.

They sat us next to his family and it ruined it for me because you can't cheer i saw the wife oh i just i just went oh my god i didn't cheer i wouldn't cheer anyway but i was just like oh my god and this is the funniest part is uh my boy shout out to brian brian daly at showtime goes so in between rounds um probably uh two and three jim gray's gonna come and interview about your Showtime special. I go, oh, that'd be cool. They tell me the day before, so I get this nice outfit.

My brother's looking all fresh. Did you really think he was going to get to round two or three? I thought it was going to go under four. I didn't think one round, but I thought there was a chance. They sent me there. They're like, Jim Gray's going to come. And then, ka-choo! I just went, all right, we should probably get out of here, huh?

We should probably get out of here. Dude, I'm telling you, man. He's something special. He's so special man he's such a good dude you've never you've had him on fury on here though he was amazing he's great we had a great time how passionate is he he's a sweetheart he's like a really nice guy that was my problem with him going oh i want to murder this guy i want to kill this guy and i want to exercise my right i'm like ah i expect that from these for lack of a better term

these animals these guys who aren't at your level but he's such a good person i'm like ah dude don't do that because they can paint you into that box i believe that's gonna just go away but i also it's gone it's gone it's gone his performance is so spectacular i think it goes away but i think it's also that was his legitimate mindset at that time you know i mean that guy if you listen to my podcast when i interviewed him and talked about how he got into boxing because of his daughter he's doing on yours as well talk about that yeah that's a special person man i mean he became a bronze medalist in the olympics after a year and a half of boxing that's insane it's a special that's insane man you gotta imagine he was bog if he was in a year and a half of boxing and he's

entering into the olympics he's going to be having matches against guys who have 10 years experience. Easy. Hundreds of fights more than him. Hundreds of fights. Amateur fights. Hundreds and hundreds. And he's got virtually no experience, and he's not the slickest guy in the world either. So he has to be able to take a shot, but he's got two giant advantages.

Huge reach and ridiculous power. Athleticism. giant advantages huge reach and ridiculous power and i think athleticism because yeah and i think because of the fact that he's not a big heavyweight i don't think he gets as tired as they do i agree but he came in this last fight the heaviest he's ever been he came in at 223 and went did he really i went that's interesting because usually 214 213 at this. That motherfucker. He punches so hard, man. He's the scariest heavyweight knockout artist since Mike Tyson. 100%. When he was walking out. Right?

Will you agree with that? I agree. When he was walking out, I looked at my brother. I went, you know how you feel right now? You had goosebumps? I went, imagine being on Mike Tyson fighting in his prime. How that fucking crowd must have felt. Yeah.

Because when he was walking out, I felt so bad for Brazil. Because we're next to his family. I'm like, he's such an underdog. He's get knocked out it was just a weird feeling i think we're gonna see that with deontay wilder i think deontay wilder's the new mike tyson 100 i think he's the new mike it's that hard and what's interesting about him is everyone gives me shit like you're such a homer because you work for showtime no no no here's the thing about that joe what people don't realize is deionte while his fights are on showtime he's an independent contractor he doesn't have a promoter he's his team you know the so da zone offered him hundreds of millions of dollars same as they offered joshua and canelo he turned it

down damn you know why because he wants he wants to fight joshua wants to fight fury he goes well if i'm with them that's gonna limit me fighting Fury or Joshua. If I'm independent, I can fight Joshua. I can fight Wilder. If I was Joshua or Wilder, I'd be terrified right now. Why do you think they? I mean, not Wilder, rather Fury. Joshua or Fury. I'd be terrified of that mindset.

It's definitely easier fights. Yeah. But he's the scariest fight of all time. In the fucking 12th round, when he cracks Tyson Fury and drops him like that, you're like, in the 12th round, he still has this ridiculous power. And he's only getting better, but I think what happens is it's more likely, especially looking at the way promoters work, you're going to get Joshua versus Wilder before you get Fury.

Oh, I think so. Which is kind of... I'll take any of them. Yeah, I'm fine. But I want all three of them. I do. These fucks owe it. These fucks.

It's context, remember? These fucks owe it to boxing. Yes. To the legacy of boxing and fight each other. Well, it's one of those rare moments in the heavyweight division where you have three unbelievably compelling guys. And then one of them was a former champion who, by the way, the last fight was a draw and I thought he should have won a decision.

So if you look at it, I thought he should have won a decision, but I agree with the result. Me too. This is, well, it's real squirrely. Preach. Because the way Wilder heard him, dropped him, and then knocked him down and almost had him flatlined in the 12th. And if you go over the actual count, the actual 10 count from one to 10 from the time he dropped, which is not what Tyson Fury's job is. Tyson Fury's job is to get up and the referee says 9, and he did that. He did that. But if you go by an actual clock.

About 11 or 12, isn't it? Yeah, you go by an actual clock. It's about 11 or 12 seconds. Yeah, Tyson Fury lost that 10 count. But Fury won the rounds. Yes. Fury won more rounds. Hands down, he outboxed him.

But you're right. That count was longer than 10 yeah he not he should have if you were just going by 10 seconds deontay wilder has a real argument that she'd have he should have won by knockout here's the thing that's why i like the draw yes that's why the draw is fantastic perfect cool run it back let's get a clear winner yeah and then joshua who's this animal out there who's just this fucking he's so damn good he's just like honestly though what the fuck is a 10 count for if it's not 10 seconds why is the referee human error count human error there should be in every fucking corner every corner wherever the fight is there

should be a clock and then when someone goes down someone else not the referee hits that button this guy's 10 seconds one oh, you can really do it. Three, four, five, six. Chris Kinshaw, one, two, three, four, five. But he goes, one. Not only that, he's jacked up with adrenaline. There's a huge knockout, the crowd. He might want a guy to get up.

He might want a guy to get up. He might want to help him. He has interest. He might take extra time to rub the gloves on his chest. Correct. Ask him a couple questions. Are you okay? Are you good?

And they grab their- Walk towards me. Yes. Walk towards me. What's today's date? You can do all that shit. You can give him a little bit of a break. Do you like the human error part?

No. Like same with baseball. No. Like the umps, they fuck up. No. All the time. Dude, the greatest of the greats, like Herb Dean and John McCarthy, have made mistakes. It is impossible to not.

They fuck up. Herb Dean is the goddamn gold standard. He's the best of the best of people working today. And he will occasionally say that he made an error. John Goddard. Amazing. Amazing. Fucks up.

Amazing. People make mistakes. They're human beings. And I think their job. Is that fun though? Bro, their job is so, I fuck up all the time when I do commentary. And their job is so much harder than mine. So much harder.

All I'm doing is talking while the fight's going on. But they're deciding if the fight ends. I disagree. You're the voice to the fucking masses, bro. It's not that hard to do. Go watch another organization. Go watch another. Or when you're not working.

But I'm not being humble. I'm not being humble. I'm just telling you. It's not that hard. I'm doing it for you, brother. I'm telling you. It's a tough fucking gig. Go watch another fight.

Go watch DAZN when Can canelo fought it was so bad it was comical who was doing the commentary not sure does it matter not good it was so bad it ruined the fight not kind of it was so bad it was entertaining well they were so pro canelo and they just weren't it wasn't professionally done you know who i like like that is in a world of shit right now? You're talking MMA or boxing? Boxing. Who? Paulie Malignaggi.

Oh, he's the best. Why is he spitting on people? What's he doing? He's a great commentator, man. To me, he's the best. I think my number one favorite, here's my three top that I get excited when they're doing it. Wow, same as mine. Roy Jones Jr., Andre Ward, and Paulie Malignaggi.

I think Andre and Paulie, they're both, you can switch out depending on what you like. The reason why I like Roy is because Roy- Too biased. Yeah, that's okay though. This is why. When he was at his best, he was the motherfucker of all motherfuckers. He was like Floyd Mayweather, but he was knocking people dead. Correct.

He was putting his hands behind his back and knocking people out. He was doing shit that no one could do. He was fucking people up. Roy Jones Jr. went on a streak for a long time where he had this freak athleticism. He didn't even throw jabs half the time. Don't you think it's underappreciated? Oh, my God, so. Because at the end of his career.

Nobody talks about him. Well, you know, when Glenn Johnson KO'd him, when Magic Man KO'd him. Yeah, but he had this run of greatness that we should appreciate. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, when I think of Anderson Silva, I don't think of him bitching out

because his knee got kicked against Conor Neal. No, no. I think of Anderson Silva fucking I don't think of him bitching out because his knee got kicked against Conor Neal. No, no. I think of Anderson Silva fucking front kicking Vitor Belfort. Of course. Front kicking fucking, you know, all these guys. Of course. I think of that. Yeah, of course.

So it's weird with Roy. I think because he's currently, like, he just got knocked down in Russia like six days ago or whatever. Did he really? No, but he recently got knocked down in Russia. I thought he won his last fight. I think he won his last fight. I don't know.

It's not good, though. That's going to be his last, last fight. Hopefully. See, his last fight. I don't know. It's not good, though. That's going to be his last, last fight. Hopefully. Yeah. Pauly's amazing, though. But Pauly, when he was going to fight that bare knuckle, I went on a little bit of rant on my... Me and Pauly are close, man.

I went on a rant house saying, I don't think he should do it. And I feel like he's punching down. He's one of the best commentators. He has a job so many people want. Then, of course, me and Pauly work together So we're breaking down the Wilder Brazil fight in New York And there was this weird

Pauly's gonna hear this I felt like there was this weird kind of Well of course I mean you're telling him Not to do something That he's definitely gonna do Yeah I know So you're resisting his idea

But if I was doing something You didn't want me to do If you're doing something And we have an open conversation There's no weirdness Like why can't we talk about it If Pauly went up to me And was like Dude I was doing something you didn't want me to do If you're doing something and we have an open conversation There's no weirdness Why can't we talk about it If Pauly went up to me and was like Dude I'm doing it

Hopefully I get McGregor out And also I'm just kind of bored with my life This could be fun for me I'm not shaming him I agree with you I feel where you're coming from I would want you to tell me If you thought I was fucking up

And it was a bad idea But I think that with a guy like him, I don't know what kind of options he has. Nobody's beaten down his door to fight him. And I know that Conor didn't want to fight him. He wasn't interested in that. And I don't know what other options he's got. He was tied for boxing.

But then that's what I'm saying. He's one of the greatest analysts in the game. But if he's going to fight a bare-knuckle boxing fight like there's gotta he there's gotta be a financial motive for that that's i would hope that the only thing that makes sense is that that's a financial motive but listen showtime pays him you know showtime pays him well do they yeah man yeah so it's like to do that you know you look at the paid it like artem made i think 50 000 for last fight so let's so let's say they pay him triple. Let's say they pay him quadruple.

Let's say he's made, what is that, fucking $250,000. Is that enough to do a bare knuckle fight when you're making six figures? You know? You could get your face fucked up, too. That's the reality of those knuckles, man. I'm changing my tune a little bit. Not all the way, but a little bit. Oh, come on.

You've got to change your tune, Joe, a little bit. But here's the thing like you you do get cut up more in bare knuckle boxing but you're also not kicking or using takedowns or anything else in bare knuckle boxing i think it'd be way more brutal if there was takedown and kicks because with maybe i don't think the best guy wins also in uh bare knuckle because you know paulie has way more fighting experience than artem right so he's got more scar tissue so if there's a guy with a ton of scar tissue your face opens up like a it looks like a murder scene it's like a charles manson murder scene because of the knuckles yeah so he might you might land seven shots to his two but your face is fucked up

nothing cuts you up more than elbows and elbows are 100% legal in the UFC They're hard to pull off though Unless it's ground and pound Like standing Like he does that How about Johnny Walker Johnny Walker's got nasty elbows Does he really hurt because he hasn't hurt from at all right I think he recovered

Like whatever was wrong with his shoulder recovered But the reality is If you hurt yourself so bad That you can't move your arm afterwards, coming from someone who's had some shoulder injuries, that to me is like, you got some damage in there. You know why else it's alarming? Because when he did it, his adrenaline was so high,

usually you can go through some shit. If you got hurt bad enough where your adrenaline's, I mean, you just won a huge fight, you're doing the worm after a victory, and you can feel the pain, that's when you're like, oh, fuck, there you just won a huge fight. You're doing the worm after a victory, and you can feel the pain. That's when I, oh, fuck, there's probably damage there. Yeah. Because your adrenaline's so high, it numbs everything.

Just imagine if that winds up defining his career. I don't think it will. He'd develop shoulder problems. I hope not. Probably. Glover's had some serious shoulder problems ever since the John fight. He's also 70 years old. How dare you?

He's been fighting in Brazil since he was three. But when John grabbed his arm and yanked it, back when Glover was the top contender, remember? Yeah, I remember. John got him in that overhook and ripped his fucking arm up. I'm like, bro. I never saw anybody do that before. I was like, that's genius.

That's a really smart thing, because you're fucking super vulnerable in that position. No one really thinks about it. He just grabs and goes. Yep. Just yanked it. He fucked his shoulder up. John's the goat hands the goat he's not even close well he it's him and the the best expression in terms of like what i've seen in the octagon is mighty mouse but he just didn't fight

the level of competition except for sahudo we're finding out sahudo's the fucking man here's the thing we're definitely finding that out so it, and Mighty Mouse, you know, I love fucking Mighty Mouse. Him or John can do one or two. The problem with him being number one is that weight class, the margin of error is way higher. So, if I go, if I zig left when I show Zig right, I'm not getting knocked out. I can learn from him and go back. If John zigs left when she went right by Glover, he's getting knocked the fuck out. Maybe.

The margin of error is so small. John can take a shot. But if it's R Glover, he's getting knocked the fuck out. Maybe. The margin here is so small. John can take a shot, but if it's Rumble Johnson, he's getting knocked out. Maybe. Yeah. We don't know. John's that good. But the thing is, the thing is Mighty Mouse. So when he beat Cejudo, right?

Cejudo had seven fights the first time. Smoked him. Cejudo gains experience, then he beats him. Yep. So the pound for pound, that takes a little off of Mighty Mouse. But I think he's Did you agree with the decision When Cejudo beat him

It's so tough to tell man Yeah It's tough It's fucking Listen if they would've gave it to Mighty Mouse I wouldn't have been mad at it I wouldn't have been mad either

Dude how about your boy Sage Northcutt Yeah Cosmo Alexander Cosmo killed a guy He's a beast Did he Sage is still in the hospital 17 fractures in his face

Yeah I know he's still one championship actually killed a guy outside of that no because you know sergey kovalev did yeah i know kovalev killed a guy in a fight um well cosmo alexander is a world-class muay thai fighter i mean john wayne parr fought him you know he fought nikki holtzkin he's world-class as far as striking it's a completely different level. But I guess because it was an MMA fight, he was willing to take it. But they fought stand-up. Poor management. And Sage took that karate stance, and the dude circled off to his right

and landed that fucking right hand, and it was on the bazooka. That's the hardest right hand I've ever seen. Can you imagine? I can't think just from a world class striker with four-ounce gloves on, and he's circling into the right, and it's like a fucking bomb. It's pretty goddamn strong, and Cosmo's a beast of a man. I mean, he's a big, thick dude. I mean, a big, thick dude with multiple world titles to his name.

Don't you feel bad for Sage? Do you feel bad for Sage? Yeah, it's a terrible matchup. I don't know why they agreed to let him fight that guy. Boom! It's just not smart because that, because the kickboxing, the stand-up. He doesn't have the experience to be in that. No, no, no. I mean, Sage is good.

He's very good. But these kind of losses are terrible for his future because they're mismanagement losses in my opinion agree i think sage is what 22 like look at that punch that lands i mean that is ferocious from a world-class strike yeah i mean that's full left full blast dude that is a full blast shot right you can't you can't get hit cleaner than that no you can't hit it'd be hard to hit a fucking but meanwhile when he fought you ever meanwhile, when he fought... You ever seen him when he fought Nikki Holtzkin?

Cosmo? Yeah. Yeah, he got out of class for sure. Nikki Holtzkin fucked him up. There's levels. There's levels, but in MMA, Sage isn't even...

He shouldn't be... They shouldn't be sharing the same ring. Well, Cosmo... If I'm on championships, though, why would I bring this stud, this American stud who looks like Rai from Street Fighter and go, hey, first fight, here's the most world-class striker we got on the roster?

Well, because they want him to be tested. And I think that if I was Chaudhry, I would be looking at it like this. When a guy like Eddie Alvarez gets KO'd or a guy like Sage Northcutt gets KO'd or a guy like Mighty Mouse gets tagged and has a real fight on his hands, then you're showing the whole world, like, hey, these guys that are coming over here that are world-class fighters, they're fighting world-class fighters. And they're getting knocked out. I get that.

It's a great thing for him, I think. So with Eddie Alvarez, veteran, he should be fighting. Hall of Famer, Bellator champ, UFC champ. Give him the best you got. He's seen it all. It's going to be tough to get past him. Sage Northcutt, Mighty Mouse, give him the best you got. He's seen it all.

Good luck getting past him. Sage Northcutt, you're investing in his future. He's not ready. That's a good point. So you've kind of fucked him, man. Also, you're trying to get in the American market. But Cosmo's not an MMA fighter. That's the thing. This is Cosmo's not an MMA fighter. That's the thing.

This is Cosmo's first MMA fight. What if Sage just takes him down and smashes him? That would have been great. Yeah, but I mean, that could have happened too. That's not Sage's style. He's not a grappler. Okay, but he knows how to grapple. Sage has taken guys down in the octagon before.

Taking Cosmo down is easier than said. He used to train with me and Rashad at Black Zanlins and fuck us up. Did he? Yeah. It's a nightmare. Yeah. So when a nightmare. Yeah. So when I saw it for Sage, I'm like, what? Also, are you building Cosmo?

He's older, man. Well, he's only 34. 37. 37? Is he? 37 has 1,000 kickboxing matches? Like, you're going to invest in that now? From a business aspect, it doesn't make sense to me.

I think it does though Because it shows With two giant results Over the last two months That one has world class talent there And I think it makes people Pay more attention to one Not me It put me off of them

Really? Yeah Oh that's crazy Oh that's fucked up No see listen man I'm a sage man Cosmo is a fucking Muay Thai fighter

I mean that's his bread and butter He fights Muay Thai Stand up is his bread a Sage fan. Cosmo is a fucking Muay Thai fighter. I mean, that's his bread and butter. He fights Muay Thai. Stand-up's his bread and butter, yeah. So when Cosmo goes and fights in an MMA fight, you would think at least in one area he's going to be at a disadvantage. If Sage chooses to have a stand-up fight with a world-class stand-up fighter, that's just bad strategy. That's Sage's game, though, especially as a young fighter. It is his game, but he's a mixed martial arts fighter. Then he should become a kickboxer.

If that's his game is just to stand up and strike with people, then just stay a kickboxer. Well. Because if you're going to fight, listen, man, if you're going to fight in MMA, in MMA, you could do everything. What do you want to do in this fight? Don't you want to win? Okay, good. I want you to win.

Here's how you win. You don't stand with one of the best fucking strikers in the world. How old is he? 22. Sage? Come on. Yeah. Yeah.

But you just tell him. I know. This is an exercise in strategy. You keep that side stance. That's fine. Bait him in, but then shoot. Just get the clinch and drag that motherfucker to the ground and let's wear him out. I'm with you.

Which he's never done in any fight ever. Right. But he has taken done in any fight ever. But he has taken guys down before. Yeah. But let's say you're Serious Manager and they go, hey, here's Cosmo. I'd go, hold on. Let me go through this with you, Sage. Pros.

You beat a straight world-class kickboxer in MMA. He's also 37 years old. Not a lot of pros. Cons. Okay, but he's 37 years old. You can't take him down. He fucking starches you and your face is broken 17 places and your your career is probably not going well the trajectory is definitely off the rails pros cons that's true it's just if you look at the way boxing has always done it and it's been

often criticized but there's some real good points to it about developing a fighter you give a guy a fighter a difficult fight that you think that he has the advantage in. But it's an advantage that will teach him some things. Like when the guy fights with him, what is this Jamie? Cosmo's ninth fight was against Sage. Oh, he's had a bunch of MMA fights? Yeah. Why did he say that on his um... And he knocks out everybody. He said it on his um...

I don't know. His uh... What the fuck? His Instagram post about it. He's no joke man. That he doesn't fight MMA. He's no fucking joke. He's knocked everybody out almost. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Starch and everyone. One championship goes, here you go.

Yeah. It's been a couple years, I guess. Oh, I see. Don't let that fool you, though, man, because he's training with the best of the best as well. Bottom line is, as a striker, he's superb. Yeah. And he's fucking. But then the crazy thing is, pull up the Nikki Holtzkin fight.

Nikki Holtzkin knocks out Cosmo Alexandra. That just shows you how many levels there are. But then Nikki Holtzkin just lost to Reggie and Ursel. Just lost to him. Got dropped with a knee. It's so interesting, man, when you see levels upon levels upon levels. And you don't necessarily know that these levels even exist unless you're balls deep in the fucking sport. Like, you see a guy like Nicky.

First of all, Nicky is, like, one of the best body punchers in kickboxing. Ever. And this is a kickboxing fight as opposed to a Muay Thai fight as well. So, no elbows, limited clenching, and you can only hold for, like, three seconds when you throw a knee. You can only, like, you can only hold while you're, like, think a knee you can only like you can only hold while you're like think one knee at a time or something like that they have weird rules you know here's the thing the fact that cosmo alexander went toe-to-toe with nikki holton i'm probably gonna pass on my young 22 year old yeah wide-eyed youngster fighting him nikki holtz can have an

amazing career in glory too some fucking incredible fun incredible fights. So fun to watch, man. The Joseph Valtellini fight where he knocked him out in the last round. Yeah, he's a beast, man. Super, super technical. Both monsters. And just tough as shit. Yeah, I mean, look at just the way these guys are standing in front of each other, just checking everything.

Look at the technique, bro. Perfect technique. It's insane. Perfect defense. Oh, he dropped him with that left hook. Yeah. Look, Holtzkin's a monster. This is, by the way, a kickboxing fight. Holtzkin's a monster This is, by the way A kickboxing fight

Holtzkin also fought Cosmo Alexander And knocked him out In one FC This is This is It's Showtime in Amsterdam This is quite a few years ago

It's Showtime was the shit, man You used to get it on Access TV Back when Access TV was HDNet Do you remember that? Mark Cuban's Fuck, yeah HDNet was dope And they had MMA Live

With Ron Kruk Yes I used to go on there all the time Boss Rootin Hell yeah And who's the other guy That Boss Rootin was on with? Do you remember that? Mark Cuban's network. Fuck, yeah. G-Net was dope. They had MMA Live with Ron Kruk. Yes. I used to go on there all the time. Boss Rootin'. Hell yeah. And who's the other guy that Boss Rootin' was on with? Our boy, Mauro Ranella. No, no, no.

The other guy. There was another guy who was on. Kenny Rice. Oh, Kenny Rice? Kenny. Kenny Rice. Kenny Rice, yeah. That's right.

Yeah. Was it Mauro on there, too, for a long time? I don't know. Was Mauro on there? Mauro was on there. Am I going crazy? You might be crazy. Kenny was on there, though. Kenny was great. Kenny was was on there. Am I going crazy? You might be crazy. Kenny was on there, though.

Kenny was great. Kenny was definitely on there. Ron Crook was the best. They used to have all these great kickboxing matches from Amsterdam and shit. But you see ESPN now has PFL on it. Oh, do they? If you're balls deep in MMA, they have PFL. Mauro was on that, yeah.

He was on that. I was on that a bunch of times. I've been on it a couple times. But the, what? The first nine seasons, it was hosted by Kenny Rice. Oh, and then Mauro came on later? Yes. Yeah, Kenny used to fly in from Kentucky, I remember.

Just fly in, do the show, fly back out. I'm like, for sure move here, huh? Yeah. Well, maybe he really likes Kentucky. Yeah, he loved it. Have to. What do you like about it? I don't know

Kentucky Derby once a year Keep you there Is that what it is? Bourbon I want to go to the Kentucky Derby Me too That's just crazy I want to take acid

I'm so down for that And wear suits like Dumb and Dumber Yeah Yeah That shit would be dope Let's do it next year And get sloshed off fucking bourbon Yeah next year

Take acid And go to the derby That Buffalo Trace Distillery or whatever Oh yeah Is it out there? I don't want to be on acid At the Buffalo Trace distillery

Dude I drink whiskey Almost every day now Really? What's happening? I don't know dude I'm getting older I got the palate for whiskey Really?

A lot of stress. What about cigars? Do you like cigars? Nope, not my thing yet. I like olives. I used to hate olives. Love olives now. And whiskey, dude.

I don't know why. That's hilarious. What whiskey is this? I'm going to have a little more, by the way. What's it called again, Jamie? Blantons. Yeah, that's Blantons. Blantons.

It is delicious. Who brought us that? I have no idea. It could have been Sam Harris. Anybody could have brought it. I don't remember, honestly. This can't be cheap. Just feeling this goblet that they got here.

This grenade goblet they got. This Game of Thrones goblet is sick. Dude, someone gave me Johnny Walker White Walker whiskey. Shout out Todd Feldman. White Walker whiskey. Bring that shit up, Jamie. White Walker whiskey from Game of Thrones. Limited. White Walker whiskey. Bring that shit up, Jamie. White Walker whiskey from Game of Thrones. Limited edition.

I'm not drinking that zombie piss. The bottle's so sick, I don't want people touching it. Really? Oh, it's a collector's item, man. Collecting. We're collecting bottles of Game of Thrones. Oh, my God. I got that shit, bro.

Is it sold out? They get a goddamn Enzo Ferrari Oh they want You to have your birthday Dude How dope is that That's pretty cool

Johnny Walker's a white walker Yeah but What do you want to be aligned With the biggest fucking Assholes in the realm Come on Johnny Walker I wish they would've won Johnny Walker with the Nazis

I wish they would've won Johnny Walker Nazi vodka Would you buy that? No. Why the fuck are you buying White Walker whiskey or White Walker bourbon or whatever it is? It was a gift, bro. Fuck that.

Fuck the White Walkers. Can you drive my Ferrari home? Bro. For me. Are you going to get hammered? I wouldn't mind. Stick around. Get hammered.

Shoot some arrows. Shoot some arrows. Get in the flow tank. Relax, my friend. Relax, bro. Shoot some arrows. Shoot some arrows. Get in the flow tank. Relax, my friend. Relax, bro. Relax. So there were some other good fights that happened this weekend. Oh, dude.

Rafael Dos Anjos versus Kevin Lee. I didn't see it, bro. It's how busy I've been. I was at the Wilder fight. I missed that. I know Dos Anjos looked good and beat Kevin Lee. Kevin Lee needs a new camp. Kevin Lee needs a camp.

Yeah. Yeah. I think Kevin Lee Should go to For us a hobby That's my advice Or Jackson's Well the reason why

For us a hobby is Because Kevin Lee's skill set Is very similar to George St. Pierre's That's a good point Very good striking Athletic Very athletic

Explosive And great timing Timing with his takedowns Nobody knows how to coach that Better than For us a hobby It's a good idea Yeah It's not bad at all

That's what I think Who Oh Aaron Pico just went to Jackson's. Yes. I think that's a great move, too. Aaron Pico has it. Oh, yeah. I hooked him up with my boy Vinny Shorman, too.

So I told him that I think that he should go to Firasahabi's, and I told him about Vinny Shorman, who's an incredible mental coach. He's got all the tools. I do think he's going to be champ. He's got all the tools. I actually believe that. If he gets the shit together and goes to a legit camp, because you remember his coach passed away, right?

Yes. Robert Foles, who was very close with him. Such a shame. Amazing, amazing guy. And so he passed away, and then it was like he was like, I'll just stay here and put together this kind of ragtag group, and we'll figure it out. The UFC now is at such a high level to compete with the guys he's competing with. You've got to have a good camp, man.

Like a legit coach, head coach, leader. It's no disrespect to any small camps or small gyms. A little bit, though, isn't it? No, I'm not trying to be. I'm just saying that an athlete has a small fucking window, man. Like Kevin is 26, right? So he's got 10 years. He's lost, what, three out of his last four?

Yeah, not good. UFC don't play with that shit. And before that, he was beating guys in pretty spectacular fashion, right? Robert Foles' death had a tremendous impact on him

as a fighter, as a person, and then he fought some really great fighters too on top of that, you know? And Al Iaquinta, man,

I mean, from the jump of that fight, from the get-go, when he hit him with that spinning back fist, you let him know, like, this is, you're in a dog fight, man. Also, that Tony Ferguson fight was a dog fight.

A dog fight. A dog fight. Yeah, these guys have dog fights. And when the Tony Ferguson fight, he had a staph infection, clear, 100%. Yeah, and he looked good, though. Yeah, and he looked good. Took Tony down, was on top, got choked out. Got his mouth.

Like, he looked fucking good, man. Look, when you have, you've had staph before, right? Yeah, it's awful. And the way it drains your body. It's the antibiotics that drains your body. Well, the staph good, man. Look, you've had staph before, right? Yeah, it's awful. And the way it drains your body. It's the antibiotics that drains your body. Well, the staph does, too. I mean, if you get it as far as where it is with him, he's in a full infection. He has a full infection, so it's in his bloodstream.

But the thing that fucks your cardio and your energy like no other, the antibiotics fuck you so bad. They do. But so does the staph, especially when it's that bad. I mean, he's got a fucking a giant squirrel growing out of his tit remember that he told DC nuts he told DC nuts

I saw it immediately he walked in the octagon I'm like he's got staff I go that's staff I love how DC just and then I say I go hey DC I go is that staff

that looks like staff to me and they go do not talk about the staff he goes that looks like staff to me Joe DC doesn't give a fuck I love him like bitch you're talking to Daniel Cormier you can't help him not talk about the staff. He goes, that looks like staff to me, Joe. He doesn't give a fuck. I love him. Bitch, you're talking to Daniel Cormier. You can't help not talk about staff. The guy who knows staff better

than anyone in that goddamn arena. Get the fuck out of here. It's staff. He's a wrestling coach. Listen, we would be doing a massive disservice to the viewing public if we didn't admit that it was staff. It's part of the drama. It's part of what makes the fights interesting. But my take on Kevin Lee is he's a great guy. I'm going to have him on again.

He's going to come on again soon. He's the best. He's a great person. I like talking to him. He's very smart. Let me know when you have him on because I'll put him on the food truck diary. Okay. He's great.

I'll text you. I'll split the cost with you, whatever you want. No, don't worry about it. But anyway, there's a defining moment in a fighter's career when they realize they need to make changes. They're not doing things the way they should be doing them and they need to make some changes but but i think one of the reasons why you care and i care especially with kevin if it was somebody else some other guys won't mention names but with kevin i go well no he can be champ he just has to change a few things

and you see this kid is champion the other guys just keep doing what you're doing he 100 100 percent is the skills the mindset and he has the full package. He looks good, speaks good, dresses well, has the skills. Sign me up. He's a good person, too. When you talk to him, he's a good person. You can feel it. Yeah, he's a good person. He's just got to make some changes, and he needs a maestro.

He needs a fucking conductor. He needs a Greg Jackson or a Matt Hume or a Ferrazati. You can't get there without it these days. Duke Rufus. A Mike Brown at ATT Yep, yep, yep Dude, I had Dustin Poirier on Food Truck Diaries That was amazing

I'm sorry, not Mike Brown I had Dustin Poirier on But he was talking about Mike Brown How great he is I had Dustin the Diamond Poirier on And he started talking about his wife Dude, I'm balls deep into chicken and waffles Eating the food truck, you know, stuff

And he starts talking about her And we're probably 30 minutes in it I started getting teary-eyed he starts getting teary-eyed he was just talking about how um because i was telling him like it's a long journey how have you not like i can't believe you didn't stop at some point like you've been doing since you're 18 having that stop and he goes i would he was honestly he was i haven't said this before i would have stopped like i've thought about retiring and my wife told me i can't. She's giving me these pep talks. I'm like, that's nuts, man. How long have you been winning?

He goes, oh, she drove me to my first fight. My first fight before I got out of the car. I get emotional now. He goes, before I got out of the car, she told me you were going to be world champion. Whoa. Dude, I got chills. I'm like, dude, you're giving me fucking chills. Wow.

I'm like, well, because you are a champ. People are always interim champ. I don't care. It's still part of the champion. Dude, he'd be one of the best fighters on earth. Pound for pound, 145 great. Yeah. Top three greats.

He's the best 145 pounder ever, and he's without a doubt one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world. Top three. And Dustin beat him. Yep. Yeah. There's no doubt about it. So he's a champ in some form.

He has a belt. And I'm like, you made it. And I told him, I said, I'm terrible at this. So this is me telling you, this is probably me deflecting what I should be doing. But, you know, you're going to fight Khabib. And I said, I don't give a fuck how that fight goes. You've done it, brother. When you were 18, you decided to go on this journey, become UFC champion.

You had all these dreams, your wife, how many sacrifices. You guys have a little girl now. And you're there, man. I said, I don't care if Khabib beat your ass for five rounds. You've done it, dude. I went, please acknowledge that. Nobody wants to hear that, though. Nobody wants to hear, I don't care if Khabib beats you.

No, no, but what I'm telling them is you've succeeded. Mission accomplished, brother. Yeah, yeah. Mission accomplished. I went, how crazy is that to hear? Mission accomplished. What did he think, though? Probably doesn't think like that.

Probably thinks he's still on the quest. I don think you can do you think like that do i think the guys who have that weird engine in them don't think like that i've never like i've never felt more not to make it about i've never felt more pressure my life to come up with new become a better comic than when i released my special of course i'm like oh shit now now the work starts that was whatever do you have a work start never satisfied with myself more than like 15 20 minutes a week most i wish i had 15 minutes where i was i couldn't tell you i was 15 20 minutes a week i'll have a glass of wine i'll put my feet up i'll kick back and then that little voice in the back of my head it's like are you doing everything you can do get up come on it's kind of a shit it's kind of a

demon though isn't it joe like 100 like my one of my dreams was to buy the car that i bought and i bought it and we're in bed my girl goes how do you feel i went exactly the same like i think what you like material things they don't matter at all and the next day we wake up my i get up with my son every morning and we always watch cars on youtube and she goes what the i'm watching a different car she goes what the fuck are you doing i'm like looking at the next car she's like there's no way i'm like i need i need goals yeah as soon as we bought about our house i swear to god the next morning she goes what are you doing truly i go look at the next house i don't know what to do. No, that's normal. My message to Dustin was enjoy this.

But don't get, the thing about stuff, though, as opposed to goals, is stuff, you could always just keep buying stuff and making money to buy stuff. And then you find yourself being one of those people that just does stuff for money because you want to buy the stuff. I've never done that, though. But there are people like that out there, right? I've heard Steve Harvey talk about money, like how much money he wants to make per year and and someone was making fun of it and i was thinking well he's in this vibe where he's

trying to get stuff and and make money and you got to make money to get stuff and you get sort of in this game of accumulating more and bigger and better things. For me, the most important thing is the stuff that I put out if people like it. Like if I do a podcast, let's say if I do a UFC and I suck, if I stumble through something or I make a bad call, that shit will fuck me up for days. And there's nothing you can do to fix it. Nothing I can do to fix it. You could get a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, it's not going to help fill that void.

It wouldn't do a damn thing. So, same with a podcast. If I do a podcast that doesn't go well, if I do a set and the set doesn't go well or I stumble through a joke,

all I care about is the stuff that I do in terms of like, Agree. like progress. I focus all my progress on that. I'll distract myself

with stuff, but like, look, this watch costs like 50 bucks or something. I don't know. Is that a Tag Heuer? That's a Taser. Not 50, but I'll tell you.

Well, it's like 300 bucks, maybe. But you know what I'm saying? But it doesn't matter whether that's 500 or 300 bucks or this is 22 grand. Not a big deal. 22 grand. 22 grand. But it doesn't matter. American money?

Yeah. Stone cold cash. Not a big deal. Rolex. Did you just make that from talking? Yeah. You're just talking. You're just talking Yeah. Stone cold cash. Not a big deal. Rolex. Did you just make that from talking? Yes. Talking shit. You're just talking shit?

Just talking shit. Cool Rolex. My point is, that doesn't make you happy. It doesn't make you feel any way. This doesn't make me feel any way. None of it. The more I learn, the more I accumulate these material things, it doesn't mean shit, man. The only thing that means shit is your friends and your loved ones and what you're trying to do with your life bob dylan

said it best he said they said uh you know what's what's success to you he goes not having to work for assholes and waking up going to bed doing exactly what i want yeah boom set match you're already doing that i'm already doing that the only time i ever felt i guess somewhat successful i'd really don't but the only time someone i felt a little guess, somewhat successful, I really don't, but the only time I felt a little successful is when I turned down a big gig on a major network to do TV. I went, no, I'm kind of good, man. I'm good doing what I want to do, and I own all this stuff, and I'm not pressed to do it. Do you imagine what it would be like if you had a boss?

Remember the shit that you guys were dealing with at Fox, where they're telling you to stop cursing on the fighter and the kid? Hilarious. Just imagine how bad that advice is think about how many fucking millions of downloads of the fighter and the kid have been out there how many humans on the planet earth have you could see an overhead map of all the people on the planet a light went off every time a dude was listening to a fighter and the kid you'd be like holy fuck it would freak you out to see that number and that fox guy was like let's clean it up boys you know what that

guy told me too i started arguing with him he kind of got my face and went just like you have your black belt in the octagon i got my black belt in tv oh let's cool the shit god did he really say that he's got his black belt in tv let me tell you he got fired from fox by the way of course he did yeah the dirty little secret about all those guys they don't know what the fuck they're doing. They find talented people. Yeah, they have no idea. If you get Stephen A. Smith. If you're so talented, you wouldn't be doing that.

Yeah, if you get fucking Max Kellerman, you get all those guys. Those are the guys that are on your television show. Your television show is going to do well. If those are the guys that are doing commentary for you, they're excellent. They're compelling. You're going to listen to it.

You're not a great producer. That's not why the show's great. No, it's the talent. You fucks. Yeah, when you tell a podcast, the one free medium left on the planet Earth, where you can distribute to millions of people, and no one can tell you what the fuck to do. There's not another thing like it on Earth.

Not one. Not one. Maybe websites, but it's talent. Good luck getting people to read. It's still the greatest form of content you can get. Yeah, and to be able to have that with no producer no executive no filter and to have it available to you while you're doing other stuff right you could be mowing your lawn right now it's in your ear you're running it's in your ear you're driving

to work it's in your ear you're on the subway you get to know people too like if let's say you were uh 2019 jay leno that's what you're like this like doing the shows That Quillen was doing Johnny Carson at the time Right Let's say you're that guy Let's say it's that Overproduced show Yeah No one really gets to know

Did you know Johnny Carson From the Tonight Show Did you know Jay Leno No No it's when When they went on To do stuff after the fact But now

People know you Pretty fucking well People know me Pretty well man Pretty well Yeah You're not on board Or you're not

Yeah it's different It's different But even Conan Talked about that How you know When he was doing The Conanan i heard him on howard stern and he was doing uh he said what i do the conan show and you know we had a band and it would i was going through this interview but i had to stop it like i was in balls deep in this interview man i have to stop it because the band's playing we got to get to that or we get to the next bit and he's like no no just

let me go man let me have this conversation yeah And he's like, no, just let me go, man. Let me have the conversation. So he's even come over to podcasting. And even Howard Stern goes, well, that's one of the reasons I want to do long form is because they want to overproduce all this stuff. But if I have to get to, you know, I want to talk to somebody, I want to get to know them, I don't want to cut to commercial breaks. I don't have to cut for this band or this bit you want to do.

Let me talk to this guy, man. Well, there's a lot of guys that are still cutting their podcast off with commercials they'll stop in the middle and do a commercial do you guys do that uh we've done it before i don't know if we currently do we just left um our current advertisers was a nightmare we just signed with paragon shout out to paragon so um you know i don't know sometimes we might sometimes you might joe to be honest with you but but you know what we are doing next. But if you're going to do it, you're only going to do it once, right? Once, yeah.

But what's different with King of the Sting is when we do our read, you guys do it before and there's no video, but me and Theo do it together on camera and have fun with it. So it's part of the show. Different animal. That's different. Me and Theo do a read for you. We're doing a read for this financial thing and he goes and you can save i think 75 a year

and i when i said 75 a year you know i didn't pre-read i was 75 i kind of crack and then theo goes yeah a smooth 75 a year when you go dude financial people Get mad at you? I don't know I don't give a fuck We were laughing so hard I go yeah I go with them Get $75 a year Is that really what they're offering? I forget

It might have been $7,500 or $75 Well $7,500 is reasonable $7,500 is different I forget what it was $750 It was something low Yeah it was something super low

And I could not stop laughing Then Theo started laughing They left it in I feel like that read Would do better than the others Maybe But it like that read would do better than any others. Maybe, but it would do better in terms of financial, I mean, in terms of clicks, but it probably wouldn't do better in terms of people going there

and using the product. People would think it'd be funny. Great thing. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. We'll find someone else. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like you have too many podcast sponsors these days. I'd'd say no to them every day i get tons of them coming in yeah

i bet but it's not it's got to make some sense has to connect with what you're gonna be a good thing too it's like got to be a valuable product yeah you gave me the best advice ever when when i started doing uh advertising on podcasts because it's a while before we started doing it you better believe in it man you sell shit people and stop tuning in they're not going to believe you i've had a bunch of things that i turned down because i researched it and i was like what is this how does that work yeah brian's great at that i was like oh this is sketchy there was one of them they want to do an uber for babysitting i'm like get the that's a fuck out of here the only time crazy the biggest argument cal and i ever got in our fucking 90-year relationship is Burger King came towards us,

and I grew up eating Burger King, man. I grew up eating Whopper with cheese. Not every day, but I'd fucking have one. I'm a goddamn American. And Brian said no? Yeah, he was like, we can't push that off, and we had a straight-up argument. How did it end?

I think we did a Burger King raid. Shout out to Burger King If you're hungry And they're open There's food Yeah Fucking Whopper with cheese Best burger on planet earth

Fuck you In-N-Out That's not true Whopper with cheese only That's so not true Whopper with cheese and ketchup only That so often makes me Want to take you to a doctor right now And get a cat scan

What do you like? I do have CT What do you like? Double fucking double From In-N-Out son Ah nope I can't You In-N-Out guy too? Or Five Guys you like? Double fucking double from In-N-Out, son. Ah, nope. I can't. You In-N-Out guy too?

Or Five Guys Burgers. Fat Burger, Five Guys over In-N-Out. Five Guys delicious. Hold on. But we can agree on one thing here before I call you guys Nazis. Fat Burger and Five Guys. Not In-N-Out. What?

In-N-Out is so much better. For number one? I like Five Guys and I like In-N-Out. You like Five Guys number one though? Yeah, I think I like Five Guys better because Five Guys offers bacon and also jalapenos. Boom! The speed of In-N-Out is such a deterrent, too, sometimes. It takes a long time.

The wines? Jesus Christ. How dare you? The one right up here? The fuck out of my face, bro. The Five Guys doesn't have a drive-thru, though, right? Five Guys doesn't do the drive-thru. They're like, bitch, sit down.

Come on in. And they have milkshakes at In-N-Out. That's a big plus. If you're ready to fuck your body up with some poison food that tastes great, them milkshakes will do it to you. They'll give it to you. Dude, I've been so stressed out with this special. My diet, even my workouts have been great.

My diet's been awful. You've been eating like a girl who's pregnant? Yeah. Pickles and ice cream and shit? Because my girl might be pregnant again. She's high. Yeah, man. Been eating pizza every night. Uh-oh. I don't know what it is, dude. Yeah Pickles and ice cream and shit Yep cause my girl Might be pregnant again She's high Yeah Um yeah man Been eating pizza every night

Uh oh I don't know what it is dude I'm in a funk I'm in a funk dude I'm in a funk Well stress They've actually said that That people under stress

Make poor decisions Poor decisions Eating Everything else Food wise too Really Yeah people make Poor decisions food wise

I did buy a fry And I've eaten pizza every night You might be on to something Yeah I think you're Freaking out I'm not freaking out though A little bit

You think It's okay We'll figure it out It's normal No no you're not freaking out But you're under stress You know what it is Joe Putting out a special

And getting judged by Hundreds of thousands of people Is very weird It's weird Yeah it's weird Every time I do it I stay offline for weeks Yeah that's what you told me

Stay offline I don't even read it Look I do it, I stay offline for weeks. Yeah, that's what you told me to stay offline. I don't even read it. Look, I do my best. I try hard. I do my best. And you might like it. You might not like it. But I do my best.

And when I'm done, as long as I know I did my best, I can just release it. I've been able to do that for Triggered, and I did that for Strange Times. When it was over, I was like, I'm good. I'm good. I mean, you might not like it, but I couldn't have done it better. good i mean you might like you might not like it but i couldn't have done it better you know what my thing is is uh the i think with anything as you get more popular with whether it's through podcasting or stand-up or whatever you do if you're an artist you put out an album if you're a painter put out a painting if you're a fighter take a fight it's a big fight i'm gonna attract

more eyeballs you need a lot more people that love it then you a lot of you can get more hate because you're out there more yeah so also you're being shoved down people's faces yeah because you do a lot of press yeah man that's why i don't do press it's one of the reasons why i don't you gotta love you don't have to i don't do press on the road but i don't want to i don't want anybody to have to listen to me i don't i don't i don't you're at such a different level that i have to do i know i get that's a little bit you know what i'm saying i. But I don't do it for stand-up anymore. When I go to towns, I don't do press anymore. Beautiful.

But then you're getting 100% your fans. Yes. And also with the special, it's different because I didn't want our group, like you guys who vouched for me, or especially Showtime who was like, let's get a special. I didn't want to embarrass. I want it to go well for them. You know? Yeah. No, I know what you're saying. I want them back all right we're proud of this which they are so i should be good with that you know and i know you guys are proud of me so i should be good with that i'm always proud i give a fuck you you're you're you're

trying to get better with something that's very difficult to do some say the most difficult and you put out a special two years in which is ridiculous i would have told you not to do it of course you wanted to come to me with but, but I knew you were going to do it. You guys know me. We went down there. We helped you out. We opened for you. It was a great time.

It was a great time. Yeah. And you're going to look back on it in eight years from now when you have another killer special out, or several down the line. Yeah. When do you think you'll do another one? Do you think you wait another two years? Like, have you thought about three years?

Three to four. I was talking to. But I think it's going to be, I don't mean to interrupt you. I think it's going to be cool to look back and go, holy fuck, he was three years in this way he did. Yeah. And then four years from now, see the progression. Sure. Then four years from now, see the progression.

Yes. And you can go back and look. I think that's going to be fucking cool, man. Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. Listen, man, there's some videos of me from when I first started out. They're terrible. There's no way you're not going to be. You're going to be fucking cool, man. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Listen, man. There's some videos of me from when I first started out. They're terrible.

There's no way you're not going to be. You're going to be terrible. Yeah. You're just learning how to do something. Again, it's like judging your roles when you're a white belt versus your roles as a black belt. For sure. It's like you don't know what you're doing. Yeah.

You're fucking flailing around. It's real similar. Yep. It's fun, man. What are you going to say, though, about specials? Most like Especially season one Say every

I think three years What did Kevin say Four Well I was gonna say Jesselnik Jesselnik has a really Interesting thought process On it

He was telling me That he does He did the podcast Recently I love him by the way I do too He's great He's a killer man

Outstanding He's a new special Assassin Yeah And it's on Netflix It's available right now It just came out It's available right now. It just came out.

It's amazing. What is it called? Thoughts and Prayers? Is that it? I think so. Thoughts and Prayers. Anyway, that might be his other one. He's got several.

But his new one just dropped on Netflix like a few weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it's Thoughts and Prayers. I think Thoughts and Prayers is... Fire in the Maternity Ward. Close. Fire in the Maternity Ward. So what he does is he works on the material for a year like in la he just does like little little sets here and there and puts together puts together

his hour then he takes his hour on the road and does clubs for a year just clubs for one year two then he does theaters for a year three and at the end of that year, he films. So every three years. Three years, yeah. Which is not a bad idea if you don't get tired of your shit. The problem is you do a lot of sets. Like, I do four sets a night sometimes. You get really tired of your shit. I get tired.

I get tired of new bits. Yeah. Especially if you're doing it that many times. Yeah, it's hard to stay motivated if it's the same bit, yeah? Yeah, but it's also, look, i feel so lucky that i can do it i feel so lucky like every time i go to do a set like i went to the store last night and hanging out in the back with fitzsimmons and ian edwards and owen smith who i'm trying to convince owen smith never write again because i think he's the fucking owen smith can't bring

him up dude you gotta come see him that guy's a monster. He burst out on Gershon the other night? Owen Smith is so good, and he's got this gig. He's always writing. But there's a writer's strike right now. He's a writer for a major series? Yeah, like sitcoms and shit. But, dude, his stand-up's out of control. So he came with us, too.

Oh, he's super nice. Dude, he's the best. He's really nice. So is little Josh Martin. Josh is fucking hilarious, too. Chito Santino super nice. Dude, he's the best. He's really nice. So is little Josh Martin. Josh is fucking hilarious, too. Chito Santino. Santino's fucking amazing. It was a killer show.

We did two shows of the improv. We're doing more of those, too. Ian's a fucking killer. He's a killer, too. But he's a writer, too. Yep. Same deal. Same deal.

And I tried to talk to him about it, too. Ian's been on the road with me for years and years. He opened for me when I did Triggered. I've taken him on the road for years. He's also the nicest guy in the world. The nicest guy. He's so nice to me, man. The nicest guy. So is Santino. years he he opened for me when i did triggered he took i've taken him on the road for years he's also the nicest guy in the world he's so nice to me nicest guy so santino santino's a nice he's a man's man santino's the best i love that guy me too i have a close bond with him shout out to cheeto um you know who i podcast tiger bell i did with bobby lee yeah i told him i said you

owe it you owe it to come and do a fucking special, man. At least 30 minutes. And he goes, I think that's why Rogan won't have me on. He's disappointing me. I went, I just think you need to get your shit together and do a special, man. First of all, that's not true that I won't have him on. Every time I say, do you want to come on my podcast? He runs away. He's sleeping.

He gets panicky. Well, he doesn't wake up to one. But he gets panicky. I don't know why. He's a great dude. He's got stuff in his head that shouldn't be in there. He's also smart, dude. He has a lot to say.

Oh, yeah. I love Bobby Lee. He'd be great on here. Dude, I've been friends with Bobby Lee since 96. He's been doing comedy for a hot second. No, not dude forever. He probably just started doing comedy then. He almost got me killed at a strip club in San Diego.

That's where he started. Mexican gangbangers with tattoos on their face and long black hair. Bobby Lee's trying to tell their girlfriend to give him a lap dance and I had to grab him and drag him the fuck out of here.

I'm like, listen to me, Bobby. Listen to me. Those guys are serious. We got to get the fuck out of here now. And he's like, fuck, those guys

ain't going to do shit. I'm going to go, I will fucking leave you here. I'm like, I'm going. I jumped in my super turbo and we fucking hauled ass out of there and Bobby Lee was in the backseat.

I was like, Bobby, shut the fuck up. They were going to kill you. You have no idea. Oh, my God. To certain dudes, you looked them in the eye, and you go, oh, this guy's for real. They got the eyes of a great white shark. Yeah. And look, I'm not the most street smart dude.

I'm not saying that, but- I can read a room, though. I can read predators. Yeah. I've been around a lot of fucking stone cold killers in my life and i saw that guy and i was like oh okay sir i'm gonna just take my little friend and stuff him in the backseat of my fucking japanese car and peel out of here is it toyota super yeah dude it was scary bobby was so ridiculous like you're not gonna do shit i'm like jesus christ

i was like get in the fucking car man come on so funny we gotta get out funny. We got to get out of here. That was my introduction to Bobby Lee. Because he was working at the La Jolla Comedy Store. I was going to say he was a door guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how he started. I don't even remember how we wound up at that fucking strip club. Because all I remember was the world zoomed in. I was looking at it through a toilet paper roll.

And I'm looking at this Mexican gangbanger who stood up with his hands out there like this and and bobby lee is acting like it's not a big deal i'm like oh my god we're gonna die holy fuck it was like that just moments where you like you almost get hit by a car whoo like that's that's what it felt like i was like oh my god bobby like that guy's a real criminal like this is we gotta get out of here and his girl Was one of the dancers And Bobby was apparently Trying to get his girl To give him a lap dance

We ran out of there man We fucking hauled ass I drove very fast And I got off the first exit And I turned around And went back the other way Just in case someone was following me I was making sure

No one was following me Jesus Christ I was like this is real Bobby Bobby's hilarious We were talking about La Jolla Comedy Club. I was telling him how special it is to me. It's quite close. And I was talking about staying in the condo.

And I was telling him, I go, oh, it was great because they've redone it. And Jim Carrey stayed there. And he's my hero. So for me especially, I was, man, we have a deal. He goes, I wish I had the same kind of admiration for that comedy store, La Jolla Condo. He goes, because when i was there uh i forget the comic's name is some gay comic he goes he's they used to take like 14 dudes back there and run trains and come all over the walls he goes that's why the walls were blue for

a long time went oh i don't know if that's true jesus christ bobby i don't know if that's true it's a lot of he's a lot of adding to that. Maybe there's just one guy busting a nut on the wall. A few guys came in. You know gay dudes in San Diego are running trains? It's not that far-fetched. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Do you know who the Hodge twins are? Yes. You know who those guys are? Yeah. Bodybuilder.com. YouTube. They have a fucking... They were reading an article about men getting pregnant,

like that women aren't the only ones who can get pregnant. Oh, hell no. And because the way they talk, you know, you know the way they talk, they're big old jack dudes, you know, and. I've had them on the podcast. They're great. Have you? Yeah.

And they get seriously amped up. They were talking about busting a nut inside a dude's ass that you cannot get him pregnant no matter how deep you go in that man's anus. And they're the same they're like yeah they talk fucking like dudes dudes because people are saying some crazy shit that's not that's a crazy shit oh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes real argument you know yale started putting tampons dispensers get the fuck in the men's room because they said not everyone who menstruates is a woman hi my son hi welcome to the upside down world wow did you ever uh did you ever watch uh stranger things i'm too drunk for this what you ever watch stranger things yeah fuck yeah i love it yeah

we're in the upside down we're in the the, the world is upside down right now. That's what's happening. That's so disappointing. We flipped over to the other side. People are getting, they're so progressive. They're literally denying science for feelings. Do you feel like a woman? Then you're a woman.

Yeah. What the fuck? I get how you can identify as a woman. Do you feel like a man? Well, then you're a man. That's so strange. You're a pregnant, amazing man. Bro, congratulations.

You're going to make the best mom, dad, whatever the fuck you are. Dad, mom. man well then you're a man and you're pregnant amazing man bro congratulations you're gonna make the best mom dad whatever the fuck you are ever dad mom these dudes are coming in dudes asses it's a funny it's a funny little thing that they did did you find it i was looking for it and they made me i stumbled across something else they just talked about which you're just talking they're all over youtube they're yeah what is this Meet the formerly transgender man who now identifies as a genderless alien. Oh yeah, I've seen that. Dude, we showed that guy before.

His surgery and shit. Oh yeah, okay. He thinks he's an alien? He's had a bunch of surgery to look like an alien. I don't give a fuck. Just don't force it on me that I have to,

if I fuck him, call you a him. Yeah, I say congratulations to them. Yeah, there you go. Congratulations. There you go. You've made it. Yeah, congrats, man.

Look, a lot of people want to be special but they don't want to work for it. And the problem with that is you get that kind of go. You've made it. Yeah, congrats, man. Look, a lot of people want to be special, but they don't want to work for it. And the problem with that is you get that kind of shit. You get people that are pretending to be something super special. So they get attention. So they get attention. And you're not doing anything.

And there's nothing there. You know, what I really love, I had Eddie Izzard on, who's probably one of the most famous transgender people ever. I didn't know he was transgender until I saw your picture. Just decided that's what he likes. And once you get past that and you just talk to him, he's amazing. A human's a human, man. He's amazing.

I don't care. What I care is when you say crazy things. Like men can get pregnant. That's insane. That's not real. Have you had Kristen Beck on? The Navy SEAL? Not yet

No And was running for governor? I don't know what she's doing now But Cal and I went to lunch with her afterwards Normal shit, man Normal Also talks like Like you might go

When you were in battle This and just talks like Like a fucking human Like a human I didn't give a fuck Alright, you want to wear a dress? Yeah, everyone's looking at you Because you got the physique of me And you got a fucking miniskirt on Alright, whatever. I didn't give a fuck. All right, you want to wear a dress? Yeah, everyone's looking at you because you've got the physique of me and you've got a fucking

miniskirt on. All right, whatever. Who cares? Who gives a fuck? Once you get used to it, like you're used to the way people dress, period. Yes. You're used to everything, you know? It's just nonsense.

It's nonsense. Like, I don't care as long as you're not hurting me. Yeah, I agree. Or hurting someone else. I don't care. Or pushing it on me. I don't care. Yeah it on me I don't care Yeah don't push it on me

Did Eddie Izzard say what Like he always felt like that This is it Man can have babies now Look at him They're hilarious by the way Look how angry he is Shout out to the Hodgetons

Yeah Look at the guy in the back Play this Can we play it or we get pulled We'll probably get pulled It's on Twitter We'll get pulled No no no

Can we hear the volume Can we hear the audio though No no no We'll just tell people It just says men can have babies now And it's on Twitter. We'll get pulled. No, no, no, no. It's their shit. Can we hear the volume? Can we hear the audio, though? No, no, no. We'll just tell people what is the... It just says men can have babies now, and it's on Twitter. I couldn't find it on YouTube, but it's on Twitter. And can we hear it? No, no, no.

Really? Yeah, bro. Copyright law is no joke on YouTube. You're not live, though, right? Doesn't matter. We'd have to edit it out later. Ah, fuck. Haters.

Haters. YouTube's a bunch of haters. Look, YouTube's in a weird place right now in terms of copyright. And we've gotten claims on us For watching something on a screen In the background Like you see a picture in a picture And you don't even hear it

And they want all the ad revenue for the entire show Dude how about the Oh gee that's ridiculous It's hilarious How about when the combine guy We're talking about his dick That got flagged When I was like

Oh you should see his dick popped out Tagged for nudity. Yeah. Ah, come on, man. It's fucking black cock popped out. And you'd have to pause it and just go frame by frame and go, is that the dick? It's kind of pixelated. You can't even tell what it is.

It's on there for half a second. You don't even know what you're looking at if I don't tell you. Well, what YouTube is doing is making a boatload of cash. They know what they're doing. Oh, my God. They run the world. Yeah, they run the world. Well, between Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram,

Facebook owns Instagram. No, they all own the world. Look, Facebook is changing elections. Facebook is influencing the way the world votes. Do you hear what they're going to start doing with, I think it's Instagram. They're going to start, you can as the user you're your owner of your own page but the rest of the world can't see your followers and likes huh that's interesting because kids in high school

and i i can with a three-year-old son it's scary worlds with social media i'm sure with your daughters you can understand is people's suicide especially in teenage girls has never been higher because they're putting so much so much ways on their social media so how many followers how many likes they get so if you get rid of that it might help well you know they're reaching the same kind of people that we're talking about we're talking about haters but they're reaching it like local like they're friends and people from school they're shitting on each other being mean to each other and they don't understand what that does to a person yet they don't have compassion the way a grown adult has where they understand they have perspective they understand what kind of emotional influence it's going to have on a person when you shit on them like that i've seen

it happen man it's not pretty but also like when you and i were bullied especially you back in the day when you were bullied you could go home you'd think about it but you didn't have to constantly get it right now if your daughter's bullied at school well she goes home at three o'clock and now those kids are on social media yeah and then they gang up and then this person from another school gangs up yeah and this person from ohio gangs up and then they're all fucking taking i've seen them play little games with each other too it's weird it's weird watching kids play little emotional head games with each other. It's like, Jesus Christ. Like, people are button pushers, right?

They see a button. They push it. They want to see what it does. They find out it does something. They want to push it again. Make it do that thing again. When you find out you can make someone upset, you press their buttons. You know, there's girlfriends that do that.

Boyfriends that do that. Friends, lovers, family members. People press buttons. I've had family members that would do that. they would just press buttons just to fuck with you and i but even even on social media it's like people can press buttons if you if you let them know that that button gets to you right i never i always i never punched down so if it's a guy with an egg for an avatar someone i don't know i never ever very rarely i'll punch down or comic bat never that's what they want right what's interesting to me is it affects people like

kevin durant who's possibly the best basketball player on planet earth and he just got in a twitter war with just like he's been known to have fake accounts burner accounts defending himself online he got caught doing that he this this um this guy who guy who works as an analyst for Fox was like, oh, critiquing him. He started firing back at him. Then another guy, like a troll with 55 followers, talks shit to him. He fires back. What are you doing? But here's the message when I see all that.

I'm like, God, what the fuck is he doing? I'm like, holy fuck. If Kevin Durant, who's worth $600 million, the best basketball player on planet Earth, if it affects him, what do you think a 13-year-old girl with body issues is feeling like? That's what's scary.

Or boy. Boy or girl. Any little kids. The suicide with teenage girls is a lot higher. Have you ever read Jonathan Haidt's books on that? Jonathan Haidt, he's been on my podcast. Callan knows him. I think maybe Callan talked to him too i believe but uh he wrote a book called the coddling of the american mind and part of the book was about the influence of social media and what it's happening when you write kids a couple years ago yeah maybe a year maybe a year ago pretty

recent yeah because you have to be up to date to get this shit. No, he's brilliant. Okay. He's brilliant. I really enjoy talking to him. It's one of those things where you go, yeah, this is nothing that we're designed for. It's not normal. You know, when girls talk shit about you across the, you know, like you see them across the breezeway, like you're walking to your classroom and they're over there and they're talking shit about you, you're like, fuck those bitches. But if they're saying it online And you read it on a Facebook page Her ankles are fat

Fucking loser Get that nose job LOL And kids will do shit like that Get that nose job LOL Yeah Kids will do shit like that to each other But if you read it Now all of a sudden it impacts you

It becomes real It hits you in a way That it doesn't hit you If you see them talking shit If I see some dudes talking shit about me And they're over there I'm like yeah Are you really talking shit what are you doing You feel good feel good insulting people

You fucking losers concentrate on your own life Get your shit together What about online like you ever go to You've never read a comment No I've read comments before but I don't read them anymore Did it affect you It affected me when I first started Being on the internet but over the course of my being on the internet i've learned how to not

emotionally engage with calluses well you just learn what that is i know what people are like if i've done something that was poor and it wasn't good and someone said that sucked it burns but you know why it burns because they're right it's true because they're someone said, that sucked. It burns. But you know why it burns? Because they're right. It's true. Because they're right. Yeah. When that happens, that's an opportunity to get better. That's what that is. That's an opportunity to look at yourself, to reassess, start from scratch, just look at it with fresh, renewed vigor and understanding that the negative consequences of failing

or doing poorly or just not putting enough attention into something you're concentrating on. What do you mean? Lately, I'm sure, what's the last thing you did that you got negative? It doesn't matter. That's how I looked at it. But that's one of the reasons why

because I'm always tweaking it like that. I'll have sets that are off and a lot of the times the sets that are off because I'm experimenting with shit. I'm moving stuff around. That doesn't matter. but it does i don't like it i don't like you don't like when people go no no when i don't do well i'm not i'm not listening to what other people are saying i'm my own worst critic you have to so yeah yeah so the bottom line is if

they're wrong like if someone says something and they're wrong it's like i don't care like it doesn't bother me if you say mean things and you're wrong. I don't care. But if you're right, I care. And the reason why I care is because I haven't done a good job. So I care more about what I've failed at than the person's opinions. You can't be all invested in people's opinions of people you don't know because everyone's words look the same when they're typed out yeah like you don't get to see if there was like an an intelligence quotient an emotional intelligence a social intelligence if you could find out how disturbed somebody was by their text

just looking at it you get a better understanding of whether or not you should listen to this person's opinion but when you just look at text it could be it's very black and white yeah i mean it could be cornell rest wrote that or it could be fucking Richard Spencer wrote it. It's just words. You don't convey who the person is from those words. It's very difficult. So someone can say something insulting or shitty to you designed to try to get you. They're just trying to hope to get you.

Why do you think it's such? You get it? I don't get it. I do get it. I don't get it, Joe. Because they're helpless. They're just trying to hope to get you. I get it from their perspective. Why do you think it's so... You get it? I don't get it. I do get it. I don't get it, Joe. Because they're helpless. They're helpless. So that's why there's so much negativity on social media?

That's part of the reason why. There should be a positive atmosphere for some... Yeah, but you're positive. You have a fucking Ferrari. You live in a mansion. It's easy. You're a handsome guy. You're 10 feet tall.

It's all good things. You've got a giant dick right here. You've got big dick energy. It's all right. All these things are fine. But I also worked for it. You didn't work for that dick. I was born with this thing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying it's a you know you work for some things i'm sure it is poor boy you had you've had many good breaks some

people have had none some people have had none and they also have a phone and they have a twitter account and they're like fuck you yeah but fuck you and your ferrari that's why you're still fuck you and your mansion yeah fuck you and everything you stand for Because they can't see a real path Like if you're standing there But that's why they're a loser Because you're getting online And you're spewing out hate

Because you're not happy with your life Or they're 17 Like they don't get it yet Let's say they're not 17 But there's a lot of that Or they're 17 They used to be a loser at 17 Now they're 27

And nothing's gotten much better There's a lot of that Or there's 17 They used to be a loser at 17 Now they're 27 And nothing's gotten much better There's a lot of that And they're stuck And do you think Going on Instagram And shitting on someone Who's successful Is going to get you

To where you want to go No Unless you're really funny There are people That just Then do a comedy There are some You still have a section

Where we read off People roasting us We read it back and forth To each other Some people are good Some people are hilarious Most are awful There's people That have like Formulated a comedy career From dunking on folks We beat off the people roasting us. We read it back and forth to each other. Some people are good. Some people are hilarious. Most are awful.

There's people that have formulated a comedy career from dunking on folks online. Right? Yeah, but that would be the minority, right? Like Jenny Johnson. Jenny Johnson high five? That would be the minority, though, yeah? Yeah, but if you're a good writer. Here's the thing. The world is not, it's like good ideas and good writing and being funny, it's not exclusive

to professionals. There's a lot of people out there who are really funny, who never figure out a way to do it. Capitalize on it. Yeah. Look, dude, when I was a fucking open mic-er, when I was first starting out, I worked for a guy named Dave Dolan. He's dead now.

He's a private investigator. To this day, one of the funniest fucking dudes I've ever met in my life. We used to call him Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. He was an animal. Hold on. Hold on. Dynamite Dickless Dave. Yeah.

Triple D. He died a few years back, but he's one of the rare people that I save his voicemails. You know how you save people's voicemails? I used to. Like after they're dead. Yeah. He's one of those guys I'm never fucking deleting. How'd he pass away?

Listen to this. I can't wait for this Damn it Joe, Dickless Dave here Dickless Dave here How busted is that? It's hard to hear it because I can't put it on speaker Dickless Dave here Why doesn't it not go on speaker? What did he pass away from?

He got cancer. Damn it, Joe. Dick was Dave here. Joe, your comedy's still funny as a motherfucker. He's so Boston. He left me this long, sweet email or voicemail. But I never delete that. I love that guy forever.

But when we were friends, when he was alive, I always said, why don't you do comedy? Why the fuck are you not a comedian? He was one of the funniest human beings I've ever, like Joey Diaz level funny. Why didn't he do it? I don't know, man. He just didn't have the balls? He liked being a private investigator, like busting people. He got a kick out of it.

It was a game for him. That works for him then. And his cousin was Billy Downs, And Billy Downs owned the Comedy Connection So he had an in It was easier than for most people When I started working for him I had no idea that he was Billy Downs' cousin I responded to an ad in a newspaper

Where a private investigator needed an assistant And I was like what a great job As you're trying to be a comedian Be a private investigator's assistant It's going to be awesome But, be a private investigator's assistant, this is going to be awesome. But what he really needed was a driver. He lost his license from driving while intoxicated.

This guy's awesome. He was the best. But he quit. He quit booze fucking cold turkey right then and there. Didn't go to meetings. Didn't do any of that shit. Just quit. Gangster.

Oh, man, he was a beautiful person. But he was one of the funniest people I ever met in my life. guy if he had twitter and he would just want to dunk on people he would have been fucking you up man you would have read his shit and fall on the ground laughing he was just funny it's funny people are just funny funny is not exclusive to professionals yeah i agree you are you aren't you can cultivate it i know some comedians that weren't that good and they got way way way way better but i'm sure they were But being a comedian Then also being funny in person Is a little bit of a difference

It's different Yeah Some people are just They're just funny Like Richard Jenney Who's in my mind One of the best comedians Of all time

He was always real somber in person Like he's never He was never like Pretty serious He's depressed Which is why he killed himself He just wasn't happy Just wasn't Just uncomfortable In't it's kind of uncomfortable

in his own skin and there's comedians like that now even at this store oh yeah you meet him you're like oh wow you're you're very serious how about brody you know brody i mean he wasn't that serious or at least around me the few times when i was around him he he was fun he would get dark he would get dark i didn't know him that well enough. I'm not going to pretend I did. He would get sad. But around me, he was always very cool. Yeah. I mean, I think guys like you and I, one thing, especially coming from athletics, coming from martial arts, you're more likely to suck it up, and you're more likely to not give in to the negative demons, and you're also more likely to exercise regularly. You're more likely to not give in to the negative demons. And you're also more likely to exercise regularly.

You're more likely to, so when you see someone who's struggling with something they shouldn't be struggling with, you're like, but you're good. It's frustrating. Hey, you're good though.

It's frustrating. Why are you bummed out? You're fucking, you're really good. Like if you are doing really good as a comic, you know, you'll call me up and you'll say, bro,

I fucking killed tonight. It was amazing. I had such a great set. I'm like, that's great. That's awesome. Yeah, but it's not bragging.

No, no, no, no. It's happiness. It's happiness's happy i tell you because i know you relate to it so brody who was a murderer you could never say he was great you could never say like brody you fucking kill me he would he would like skirt around like rogan always supportive rogan yeah they always got my back yeah it was it would it. He never, I don't think he wanted to, I don't think he wanted to accept the fact that people loved him. Like when, you know, when he would have a great set, it would almost like, it wouldn't

elevate him. Like some guys get off stage, like Hinchcliffe. Hinchcliffe will murder. He'll get off stage. He'll be like, whoo. Yeah, you'll know. He'll come in the green room with a condom, his eyes will be giant. He'll high five everybody. I love that's feeling it you know but brody didn't

get like that you know and i'm not saying theo's the same in any regards to what brody was suffering with but you know theo has his demons whatever it's very it's out there i'm not outing theo's the same way where he'll do a set i'm like dude that's it's one of the best things i've ever seen man i'm like get the fuck stop get the fuck yeah no, no, no, I'm telling you, it's so good, dude. It's a version of it. I mean, Kyo's got his own version. It's not as extreme as police. Everyone has their monsters.

Yeah, but a guy like you or me, we're very goal-oriented. You're trying to get better at things. You see things. That's how you got good at jiu-jitsu. That's how you got good at fighting. That's how you get good at comedy. Everything you want to get good at, you get good at by focusing on it and setting goals and trying to get better and better and when you do get better you celebrate you enjoy it it's fun it's exciting some people don't get

that feeling man they don't they don't ever get those highs those highs just don't exist it's and for me you know what what what gets me more than anything now is new stuff. What gets me more than anything is creations, like those little things you come up with. Those nuggets. Like if you do Jeremiah Watkins' show, and I'll walk away, I go, oh, fuck. He'll come in the back and go, dude, I wrote down what killed.

I'm like, oh, my God. You're recording, right? Do you record? Yeah. And I go, I can run with that. He goes, there's something there. Yeah. Then I'll walk away on, away on the highest high, man.

It's amazing, those shows. You know what's interesting is, hanging around you as much as I have, is you're serious, but you and I are more similar than me or D'Lea or me and Callan. Callan and D'Lea are so silly all the time. D'Lea might be funnier offstage. He's amazing onstage, but he's so funny offstage. Brian's so funny offstage, where they're constantly on. They get around. They mess around all the time. D'Elia might be funnier offstage. He's amazing onstage, but he's so funny offstage. Brian's so funny offstage where they're constantly on, like they get around, they mess around all the time.

And you're like, you don't have to be that way. I thought for the longest I had to act that way because that's the way, because I hung out with Brian and Cal and D'Elia so much. I'm like, this, I don't want to do like, I just want to chill and do my set and then talk about cars or whatever and get the fuck out and be myself. That's, I'm like, I don't want to do it. I just want to chill and do my set and then talk about cars or whatever and get the fuck out and be myself. I'm not them. I don't want to have to be on and fuck around. I don't like to fuck around all the time.

Well, D'Leon and Callan, they avoid real conversations. They don't talk. They just fake insult each other. Yeah, they just insult each other. Where I'm like, all right, well, what else, man? Did you see what callan did callan got boxing uh mitts made that have that's fake that's fake that's someone put those on someone put it on the photoshop put those on there that's amazing he did a great job yeah it's hilarious though i thought he actually had mitts made up i was like that's hilarious to them

but those guys are so that like that's that's who they are they're counting if it's a room of three or 30, he's going to entertain him. He's the clown. That's why I took him hunting. That's not me, man. That's not what I want to do. That's not me either. I want to talk to you, ask about your family, and then go on stage and be funny. Yeah, look at him there.

Look at Bryant Count throwing punches like a guy who's never been punched. He's going to be so pissed he said punched oh maybe that maybe those are real i think they put all they did you're right you're right it's pretty god you're right you're right brother it is no way it can be fake whenever i see cal hint myth i fast forward i go to the next page i know he's so silly he's so how's he getting into boxing at 80 years old Look at this And he keeps telling me his shoulders are fine I'm like well why are you punching so slow then If your shoulders are fine

What is wrong Are you in a room with thick air He's obsessed with it Are you fighting at high altitude all the time If there's no altitude At least your hands would move quicker That's real With ballistics With archery If there's no altitude, at least your hands would move quicker. That's real. Do you know that?

That's with ballistics, with archery, you shoot high at high altitude. Oh, really? Yes. Because there's less drag. That makes sense. There's less air. Why is his hands moving so slow? He's going to be so sad.

It's weird. He's been boxing with private lessons for a while. He goes, Wayne thinks I could probably fight pro. I went, Callan, stop. I went, Callan, you're paying that man money. I love Wayne. Here's the problem. I said, you're 50-something years old, and you're paying that man money. So if you went, Callan, you look terrible, you're going to go, well, you're the one coaching me.

So of course. I went, let me ask you something. You play tennis, right? He goes, yeah. You hit with a pro, right? He goes, yeah. I went, you hit with a pro, right? He goes, yeah. I went, you pay him, right? I go, has he ever told you he thinks you could maybe compete?

He goes, yeah. I went, that's what they do. Yeah. Because they got to show progress and hype you up. Otherwise, if he's like, dude, you're awful. Never fight again. You're not going to keep paying him. Dude.

Isn't it great, though? That's Callan. That's just people. That's Callan in a nutshell, though. Isn't it great? People that do that That's just people That's Callan in a nutshell Isn't it great People that do that That coach you That blow smoke up your ass

Gotta be super careful of those Super careful One of Eddie's students Had this guy He was a jujitsu guy And he was fighting in the UFC And his coach His Muay Thai coach

Was like He's Bangkok ready And I was like Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Like as a striker I was like No he's not Like what And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, as a striker, I was like, no, he's not. Like, what are you talking about? Like, they blow smoke. They get a fat one of these Tommy Chong joints like this.

That's a firecracker. Look at this joint. That's a firecracker from Tommy Chong. Stuff this in your asshole. And they blow that smoke deep in your ass. Because you're like this on the other end. And you start believing it man You start believing

I'm gonna go to Bangkok Fuck those dudes up I always told Eddie He should make a shirt That says Bangkok ready I think he did Did he make it? Somebody made a shirt

That said You remember that story You remember that Fascinating story Bro I was there I was in the locker room When he said he's Bangkok ready There's not a better term ever

Bangkok ready Well it's not a better term ever Especially when you know The guy's not an elite striker. That's the best part about it. Jesus Christ. Are you Bangkok ready? Yeah, I'd watch him kick the bag and I'd be like, oh no.

You better take this guy down. Take this guy down and get your strangle on, son. Get your strangle. Someone should have told, Sage wasn't Bangkok ready. Sage was not one champ ship ready. Sage, you know know he's a alpha male now right is he still there i believe so who left alpha male recently did lance palmer relieve i think lance palmer went to mark henry who's the chick the badass since cynthia calvillo yeah

where'd she go i don't know almost positive she left she's you know i mean i don't know what they're doing over there so i can't really comment i don't either but i do know that when bang ludwig was there they were making some giant ass fucking progress everybody started moving better everybody started putting together combinations better you click you need a head coach fighters need a head coach and even then you might not win right no it's tough enough you need a hot you need a head coach And even then you might not win Right? No it's tough enough You need a head coach You need a beast If I was competing

Really if I was a young man And I was thinking about fighting in MMA I'd probably move to Montreal I'd go to Montreal or I was talking to Dustin about this ATT There's so many guys Especially guys in the UFC

They get there and they're The big swinging dicks at their small gym. They come to ATT and they're expecting the same attention. Two problems with South Florida, pussy and pussy. And cocaine. I don't know, cocaine's not, I've never tried it. Me neither, I've never done it. I've only said that.

A lot of pussy. Brazilian. Spanish. Cuban. Spanish, Colombian. I'd say that's a reason of pussy. Brazilian. Spanish. Cuban. Spanish. Colombian. I'd say that's a reason to go down

there. Bro, your dick is going to be hard every time the wind blows. You're going to be excited and you're not going to be

focusing and you're going to get cracked. Yeah, so maybe New Mexico, huh? Also. Montreal has hot ass girls.

The other thing about, this is, I really believe about some camps can have too many killers and you can get fucked up as you're trying to learn and grow and you never have enough guys that are that you could practice on i think aka because they're so tough they've injured each other oh they're animals

if i was wanted to learn how to wrestle and i wanted to be like a better wrestler if i'm francis and gano i moved aka i agree because. Because DC has one fighting at steep bay left. Yeah. He's on his way out. Kane's there. You already beat him. Go there, dude. That's what I say.

That's what I say. Yeah, he needs to learn how to grapple. He's playing grass in France. Well, because he's fucking striking. The power he has. It's like such a fucking checkmate weapon. And no matter what anybody does, you're always ready for checkmate. Boom.

It's like Wilder. That kind of ridiculous power. You're always ready for checkmate. You're always wilder that kind of ridiculous power you're always ready for checkmate you're always ready wilders is even more impressive than francis i don't know about that let me tell you something that is amazing 13 that is francis has to cut to 265 my motherfucking words if francis and gano decides to jump ship and go heavyweight careful where are you going with this he He will nuke some fools Nuke some fools Not Wilder Oh well It's going to take a long time

To get to Wilder's level He's not young Wilder's a world champion He's undefeated I thought you were saying But if Francis Ngannou Look Francis Ngannou's not ready To box with Wilder right now

But let me tell you something He gets starched in 30 seconds He might Or he might connect No Come on Against Wilder Wilder's not the slickest guy

In the world We're not talking about Muhammad Ali Or Floyd Mayweather You're talking about Olympic-level boxing. You are. Francis Norton. Well, sort of.

Sort of. A year and a half in, he was in the Olympics, but he mostly gets by on power and range. But Olympics, Olympics. I agree. Juke metal. But he's a year and a half into boxing. I mean, I think Francis probably could have- He went 12 rounds with Tyson Fury, sir.

He did? No doubt about it. He's amazing. But if Francis has a problem with grappling, you think about it. What does he not have a problem with striking? He KOs Alistair Overeem. In the UFC.

True, true. But Alistair Overeem is a world-class striker. I mean, he's a kickboxer at the highest level, wins the K-1 Grand Prix. I mean, he's knocked out Badr Hari. He's beaten fucking Turkish Tyson. For sure. He's beaten some good guys. Francis Fahmy's a little older. A little older. And here beaten fucking Turkish Tyson. For sure. He's beaten some good guys.

Francis Fahmy's a little older. And here's the other thing. If Alistair Overeem entered the boxing ring with Deontay Wilder, he wouldn't last a minute. I agree with you. However, maybe. Well, if he could kick his legs, Deontay wouldn't. No, boxing. I'm sorry. Straight boxing.

That's what we're talking about. But it was a Muay Thai fight. I mean, it was an MMA fight, so he's allowed to do everything. I know, I'm just saying, if it was straight boxing, you're talking about apples and oranges. Right, but think about that. If Deontay Wilder fought Alistair Overeem in an MMA fight right now, how do you think that would go? He'd finish him in under a minute. He'd leg kick the shit out of him, right? He wouldn't even need it.

He'd take him down and choke him out in three seconds. Okay, but he couldn't do that to Francis Ngannou. Couldn't leg kick him. Couldn't keep him off him. Because Francis is MMA. But if Alistair and Francis went to the box arena, they'd get absolutely annihilated. I agree with you. But the

thing that's holding, unless they focused on it for as long as those guys did, but the thing that holds back Deontay Wilder from people, like all the boxing pundits praising him is that they think he has awkward technique. He's wild. But his

results are spectacular. Okay? Francis Ngannou, everybody he connects on other than Stipe, goes night-night. Stipe's the only guy. Stipe survived. Stipe figured out how to use his championship medal and his grit and use his takedowns and won the fight.

Derek Lewis ate some shots. It was just a terrible fight. That fight, I don't even think that counts. That doesn't count as a fight. That fight is so, that's such a mess from top to bottom. That was the worst fight maybe in the history of the fucking sport. I agree. They didn't throw anything.

But the problem with that fight is because they're such knockout artists, you're expecting such fireworks. Dude, it was a big disappointment. I said to everybody, there is not a fucking way this fight can suck. That's what I said. You can never say that because it always sucks. I know. Whenever you say there's not a way this fight can suck, it's going to suck. It was so disappointing, man.

It was so disappointing. It was. But then when he comes back and he knocks out Curtis Blades for the second time, which I thought Blades had a way better shot at him the second time. Me too. I actually thought he was probably beat him. Especially after the Francis Ngannou fight. Yes.

But it showed that, or the Derek Lewis fight, right? But it showed that Ngannou has really got it back together again. And now he's fighting JDS. They moved it, though. It was supposed to be in Vegas. They moved it. It's a dangerous fight for JDS. Dangerous fight for both guys, really.

But yeah, definitely JDS. I just think Ngannou has, if you're going to stand in front of him, man, he's going to hit you with something. Yeah. That's the thing. He's one of those, I'm going to hit you with something guys.

When he beat Kane, I was like, holy fuck, dude. Yeah, man. Kane thought his leg blew out. It was so bad. He really did think that's the thing. He's one of those, I'm going to hit you with something, guys. When he beat Kane, I was like, holy fuck, dude. Yeah, man. Kane thought his leg blew out. It's so bad. He really did think that's what happened. When you look at the replay, he clearly got hit with an uppercut. Like a shove.

There's a little, like a car went almost up. That's all it needs. That guy, all he needs is to touch you. He just needs, and the more he does it, the more confident he gets in it, the better. He's only been fucking training for six years. Dude, I want to see him versus John so bad. Him versus John Jones? The more confident he gets in it, the better. He's only been fucking training for six years. People need to get that in their head. I want to see him versus John so bad. Him versus John Jones?

Yeah. What do you think would happen? I think John would take him down. I think John smokes him. John would take him down. Yeah. John didn't get hit. Listen, John easily could be 240 pounds.

Easily. I think what he's doing is he's going to clean out light heavyweight. There's really no one there for him. He's going to clean that out and then go to heavyweight. Maybe. Or maybe he just stays at light heavyweight and just goes down as the goat and just keeps beating the fuck out of all the contenders. He's already the goat though. He is.

DC wants that fight again at light heavyweight. I'm like, come on DC. Does he? Do it at least at heavyweight. Heavyweight's the way to go. That's an ego thing for DC. If DC gets past Stipe which is a big if. It's a big if. You've got to realize, like, DC connected with that beautiful punch in the clinch, but Stipe has had over a year to stew on that.

It's been driving him fucking crazy. I don't think that's a good thing. I think it's good for Stipe. Stipe's an animal. I'm not worried about that. I think he's going to be better. I think Ringwrath's an issue. I don't think so.

DC's been way more active. But Stipe's a real veteran active but stipe's a real veteran man he's a real veteran and he's a humble dude he's a hard ass he's not going to come in there with a lot of expectations on himself he's just going to do his best i think i'm not worried at all about the i think it's a tougher fight for dc like if donald cerrone was taking a year plus off and then was going to fight for the title i'll be like whoo i'd like donald to get a fight in god i wish you would do that you and i are off on this i wish donald would take a fucking break and not fight tony in a three days notice no i agree with that too i wish he would take a break

and not fight tony in three weeks notice but three weeks after his last fight yeah but when donald fights a lot as long as the best reason it's the best donald's what he wants. Yes. He just likes to get in the groove. He likes to stay active. I think for Stipe. You can't be champion and do that, though. Name someone who's done it. Go. Yeah.

Name one guy. Well, everyone's different. I'm not saying. I'm just going off measurements. There's no one who's that active. Who's ever fought the most as champion? Who's fought the most? The most? The most active. Who's the most as champion? Who's fought the most? The most?

Like the most active. Who's the most active champion? DC's pretty active at light heavyweight and heavyweight. Pretty fucking active. Pretty fucking active. And I think John is trying to be really active. I mean, think about it. That whole division's fucked.

He's going to clear all of them and dip out and leave them like the fucking queen of the dragons. Okay. George St. Pierre fought 15 title bouts. Wow. He had 15 title bouts. Wow. That's crazy. Randy Couture, 15.

How about Randy Couture? But that doesn't mean active. All these years later, still. That could have been 15 over seven years. That's still. All those years later, Randy Couture is still tied for the record of the most title fights. That's crazy. Mighty Mouse right under that with 14, Anderson 13.

The difference is with all those guys, it's all different eras, different divisions. I think era means everything because I think what John's doing in the current era is more impressive than what Randy or George or any Anderson did. Who do you think is a danger to John right now? There's no one. Adelaide Heavyweight? No one.'s no one. At light heavyweight? Yeah. No one. Absolutely no one.

Thiago Santos, I know we've got to hype it up. I'm like, oh, punch a chance. Yeah, for sure, I get that. There's no one at light heavyweight. Maybe, you know what, Johnny Walker, but he's so far removed right now, he has to get by maybe three more guys before we start being like, yeah, he might be a threat. But he's maybe a potential.

Hope his shoulder's okay. If his shoulder's okay, what that guy does is crazy. He starches people. He starched Khalil Roundtree with an elbow in the clinch. Remember that? Yeah. Vicious. That crazy, this kind of elbow.

Vicious. One of them bad boys. Vicious. KOs him with that, and then KOs Misha Sakharov with a flying knee right to the fucking chops. Freak. He's a freak. But he hasn't done it like John has to Shogun.

No. To fucking. No comparison. The other Machida. Look, there's no comparison to anyone who's ever fought in the light heavyweight division and John Jones. Right now, there's no comparison. There's no threats.

Except DC. But DC lost. He lost twice. DC's not a threat at light heavyweight. DC at heavyweight? I still think he's a threat at light heavyweight. I think he's a threat. Not right now.

At heavyweight, yes. Heavyweight, he's a threat. His power goes up. We've seen how it works out for DC. But what if DC got more dedicated and disciplined with his diet? So what if DC fights against Stipe and says, so when does this Stipe fight happen? Is it July? July.

Okay. So when is this Stipe fight happening? Is it July? July. Okay. So what if DC says, okay, August, September, let's plan for New Year's Eve with Jon Jones that weekend. And he takes a week off, goes to fucking Mardi Gras or whatever the fuck he wants to do. Sure.

Drink some beer. Shout out to New Orleans. Yeah. Have some pizza. Kicks back. Yeah. For a week. And then goes on a serious diet With a

A real good nutritionist Who's gonna Check his macros Make sure he's eating healthy food And you think that's why He's not being John? No but I'm saying Where he could get down

To 205 healthy Where he doesn't have any Look Daniel Cormier If there's anything That's ever held him back He's He's not

The best At his diet And But that's what makes DC great Well he's One of the things That makes him great He's he's not the best at his diet and but that's what makes dc great well he's one of the things that makes him great he's a wrestler he's a fantastic wrestler that makes him great he's tough as shit that makes him great he's got his endurance is great incredible mental strength he knows how to win i don't know about all that that's some people say think about that think about the most shredded guys in the ufc well i don't mean he should get shredded what i mean is

he'd he should make 205 with no problems, where he could go to war for five rounds with a guy like Jon Jones without weakening him. I don't know if that's possible. You might be right. I don't know if it's in his DNA, especially at his age. At 40 years of age, maybe heavyweight's the way to go. I think heavyweight, his power is up. We saw that with Stipe. I think

if he's going to connect, which he has in the clinch against Jon, the power is there. I still think he'll be an underdog, but has, in the clinch against John. The power's there. I still think he'll be an underdog, but that gap narrows. That heavyweight. At light heavyweight, it doesn't, especially at his age. I think it's even further apart now that John's being more active. Well, maybe he wants to do that to prove a point.

That's my problem. His ego, man. Fuck light heavyweight. At heavyweight, dude, you're the champ. John, if he wants to have that legacy fight, that rubber match, go there and let's see what happens. I kind of agree with you now. Now that I'm thinking about it, I kind of agree with you.

Especially for DC, it's like DC. Dude, if you beat John at heavyweight and you ride off in the sunset, game, set, match, best of all time to ever do it. Right. Like, how about this? Tito Ortiz right now owns Chuck Liddell right Chuck Liddell smashes him two times when they're in their prime but then Tito knocked him

out and Chuck looked terrible Tito KO'd him it looked really bad and Chuck will never fight again and Tito will always sleep at night knowing he just fucked Chuck Liddell up don't even think about those other ones right you don't even think about it. He got it back.

He got it back in a big way. And DC went. He got it back the way he wanted to. Correct. Clipped him with a right hand, put his lights out, and then punched him a couple times when he's out. And that's a wrap. And that's a replay.

And for DC, it's like, even after the John loss, he went on to fucking heavyweight to knock out Stipe, who some can argue it's the best UFC heavyweight of all time. He went on to beat Derek Lewis Who's so dangerous Yeah And then you And let's say he beat Stipe for a second time What the fuck And then you beat John

You know what I was really impressed with? I was really impressed with the way Chuck handled that loss Did you see the way Chuck talked about it on Instagram? He just basically said You know Hey man You know You put yourself out there

You go out there You set goals You know You try And if you fail It doesn't mean you quit You get back on your horse know you you try and if you fail it doesn't doesn't mean you quit you get back on your horse and you fucking get right back to it yeah i try not to be so judgmental let go of all the hate and all the bullshit i was very impressed with you and i

like chuck he's a good person i try is if you if tito's or if uh rather john john's number one chuck's number two so far as light heavyweights great light heavyweights he's he was the fucking man i mean when he defined the early days of the ufc one of the things about the ufc was like this crazy thing was like cage fighting and here's this guy with painted toenails and a mohawk and a head tattoo and he's just murking people murking people biggest like was like the first big big star in our sport to transcend and go go on to Entourage and have commercials and doing those fucking automotive commercials. Lived like a rock star, too.

I mean, that dude went hard. Where do you stand on that? Do you remember that one interview that he did? Where he's hammered? He was on something. He was on all the drugs? He was on everything. And he's like doing morning TV.

He's like, yeah, I'd like to fight the Hulk. I wish he was real. Isn't that great? I love that shit. I don't remember what the fuck he said, but he was clearly on cloud nine. Like, he's an animal, man. Like a legit bonafide animal. Where do you stand on letting those – whose responsibility is it?

The guys like BJ Penn who keeps losing to find his legacy now. A guy like Anderson Silva. Where do you stand on letting those guys fight? That's a very good question. If you're Dana White, what do you do? Because at the end of the day the commissions can go all right physically yeah man he passed the fucking physical so we gotta let him fight but at the end of the day if they don't have a resource or a job from the head man if Dana calls BJ or Chuck just like he did Chuck he's like I'm not giving you a venue to fight it's not happening so I wonder at what

point if you're Dana let's say you'reana at what point do you tell these guys stop fighting because i feel like for anderson although i don't remember him that way the new generation is remembering for being this guy for bj the new generation only knows him as losing we know him as one of the greats so i feel like here's my take to them to say you can't fight anymore. I don't know if BJ is capable of competing at the level that he's competing at right now when he's losing to these guys. I don't know if he is because it doesn't seem like he's capable of it. Well, he's lost, what, six in a row? Yeah.

And if I look at the BJ that I saw against Ryan Hall, up until the time he gets leg locked, he looks fucking great. That happened fast, though, bro. No, I know. I'm with you. I'm, he looks fucking great. That happened fast, though, bro. No, I know. I'm with you. I'm saying he looks like he's fit. He looks like he's in shape. He looks like he's a top fighter.

But he almost needs to fight a young guy coming up. So we can see. When he fights Clay Guida or he fights someone like that, it's almost losing. Yeah. And then Ryan Hall, he's losing. I feel like, I don't know. He's not who he used to be. No,

obviously not. But I don't even know where his head's at. I feel like if I'm Dana, I'm going, hey man, I'm doing you guys a solid. You can't fight here anymore.

And now they might go on to other organizations, but it's not the UFC. So they can go on there and compete, but you're not going to tarnish your legacy at the highest level

here in the UFC. Not under my watch. No. So I couldn't do it. I'll never pick against BJ. I would never pick against Randy Couture. I don't have it in me. So when BJ fights, I'm like, I'll take BJ because I refuse to pick against him.

That's how much I respect him. But at some point, and I couldn't do it, and obviously Dana can't either. Could you be like, hey, dude, no more. We're done. Well, I'd have to be friends with him like I was friends with you. Yeah. You know, I mean, when Yair Rodriguez 360 roundhouse kicked him in the face, that should have been the end.

I mean, you saw that and compared to BJ when BJ beat Sean Shirk. Like, you're looking at a severely different fighter. Whose job is it to tell him? Family and friends, I guess? No one's job. You know, here's the thing, Matt. We can't let the fighter decide. Well, I don't think he should be competing at the highest level of the sport.

But if he still wants to compete, who's to say he can't? Who's to say he can't go to a small organization and fight for them? Who's to say? Whose choice is it, Joe? He's not getting sparked out. He's still conscious. out, you know? I mean, he's still conscious. He's not... Yeah, I know.

He's getting beat, but he's not getting crushed. Nope. And not in all the fights, at least. I mean, the Ryan Hall one is probably the most... Ryan Hall's going to tear anyone's knee off, though. I hate to tell you. Oh, yeah. If they give him anybody, he's going to do that to your knee.

Well, he's a phenomenal grappler and a super, super intelligent guy, too. But that was probably the kindest way for him to lose, just to get tapped real quick. Not if you're a black belt. Beat up like Frankie Edgar did to him. Yeah, I know. But I guess, again, the commission, they have a tough job because physically, we can't't see into his brain but physically he's passing all the tests like who like whose job is it to tell bernard hopkins not take that last fight when he got knocked out of the fucking ring whose job was to tell roy jones

don't go to rush and get knocked out yeah i don't know story that's so old so it repeats itself over and over and over these guys where they got that's what makes these stories so great when they're in their prime and you're watching when they come up and so special but it's's what makes these stories so great when they're in their prime and you're watching them when they come up. It's so special. But it's also what makes this sport so fucking heartbreaking. Because you know who does do that? The NFL and the NBA. They tell you no.

They tell you no. That's it. And it's very black and white. But that's because someone has to fill that position and they're not about nostalgia. They're about who does the best job in that position. Shouldn't the UFC be that way? Yeah, but it's not that. The UFC doesn't know who does the best job In that position Until they set you up

With somebody When they see you Over and over and over again Then But again But the argument is He's not getting crushed He's not getting sparked out

He's not getting knocked out He's just not as good As he used to be No, it's not a good argument But he's not He's not as good As he used to be I'm not saying

I'm not arguing I don't have the answer Why do you think He's still at the UFC? Why don't they cut him? He hasn't found a passion. I don't know why. Because he's still a draw, maybe?

Yeah, that's a good question. Because right now— Out of respect? Is it out of respect? Like, what is it? What he's done for the game. He's earned the right to go out on his own note. But the stakes are so high in fighting, it's different than basketball.

I don't know whose job it is, and I don't have the answer, and I wish I did. I don't know. It's the most heartbreaking thing in sports, I basketball. I don't know whose job it is, and I don't have the answer, and I wish I did. I don't know. It's the most heartbreaking thing in sports, I think. I agree. And I think with BJ, if he would have found, and I don't know BJ well enough, but if he would have found a passion like I did with stand-up or podcasting or something else, he probably would have been out and never come back. Maybe. But the thrill of what he does. That's what makes BJ great.

Yeah, I mean, he's a multiple time world champion the thrill of bj when he was in his prime is probably indescribable like what brings nate diaz back even though he has money in the bank what's gonna bring connor back yeah it's not money yeah those guys were born fighters they're natural born fighters this is what they do and that's that's what makes them feel alive so i I don't know. Yeah, the excitement and the thrill, the fucking, I mean, and look, we're all going to die. It's like when people say you should look out for their health. Well, then we should stop fighting altogether. Correct.

And stop playing football. Yeah, stop doing everything. And we should probably stop drinking. And no more driving. Yeah. Driving's dangerous. You've got to walk everywhere. If we just walk and people get in accidents walking, they'll be fine.

They'll bump into each other. It's no big deal. That would be cool. I mean, there's a real argument for that, right? Like, you have a small window to experience this life. Do it any way you want. But yeah, with a guy like BJ Penn, the reality is there should probably be a number of fights that you lose in the UFC where you could just get cut.

It used to be three. Was it a signed in paper thing? No, but man, when you've lost two, which I did, that third one, Joe Silva would tell your manager, and he told my manager, Lex McMahon, he goes, you know, with this one, you know, it's probably over. He wouldn't say that. He'd go, we're giving them one more. And you knew that was like, that was your shot.

If you lost, you were done. Even if you won by decision, they wouldn't say that. He'd go, we're giving them one more. And you knew that was your shot. If you lost, you were done. Even if you won by decision, they wouldn't cut you. You knew as long as you got the job done, you would extend. I saw one of your interviews. It was really interesting. You were talking about if you bomb, you could always go down to improv and have a new set, redeem yourself. Yeah.

But when you were fighting, if you lost, you'd have like six months. Yeah. The worst. The worst. And just dwell on that. And be like, no, I promise you, I'm getting better. And stand up and be like, no, I promise. I bombed at the comic store. I went to the worst and just dwell on that and be like no i promise you i'm getting better and stand up and be like no i promise i bombed at the time store i went to the improv and they laughed so what's up what's up yeah the life of a fighter is probably the most stressful

job in all sports and certainly in all of entertainment besides you know obviously when we're at war and soldiers it's a close thing you get to spartanize and i do not i don't admire it i feel sorry for them because i've been through it but that's from my perspective a lot of those guys they they fucking live off that man i watch and i'm like well you're too nice like yeah i'm too nice i felt horrible for brazil i felt bad for wilder when he got here like god he's such a good dude i wish he would find something else to do yeah i'm telling this to the show time, guys. I'm like, God, I hope he parlays this into something really cool after this. He can make hundreds of millions of dollars.

I think Deontay Wilder. He made $20 million that night. Yeah. He's going to go down as one of the greatest of all time. I think so. I think he's getting better with every fight. And I think if Joshua gets hit on the chin with one of those fucking bombs away, we can see some crazy shit.

The thing about Wilder is he knows how to take it, too. He can take it. He got blasted by ortiz if you notice in the brazil fight he got caught he backs up he got blasted against fury yep he gets hit he got hit in the 12th round against fury that's why him joshua is so interesting oh yeah because joshua cracks oh he does he does and he's been hit before and dropped i did this interview vladimir klitschko yeah remember that fight he got back off the ground and then starched him i did this interview. Vladimir Klitschko? Yeah, man. Remember that fight? And he got back off the ground. And then starched him. I did this interview with Fox Sports, Lee Hay. And she goes, who's the most overrated mainstream boxer?

And I answered. I went, I'm going to say Anthony Joshua, just because I want him to hear this. And he's like, oh, fuck that. I'm going to fight Wilder now. But people ran with it. It was like, oh, he thinks Joshua's overrated. No, I don't think. I think Joshua's such a fucking.ua's such an olympic gold medalist overrated no he's beat he doesn't make sense he's amazing i just want him and wilder fight he's also built like a greek god

you know it might be the sexiest man alive he might be it's fucking he's jacked at like 245 super shredded and have you heard him commentate yeah he's brilliant articulate and that accent it's lovely lovely champ if I was gay it'd be so on let's go champ

it'd be so on yeah what is happening with my man Shannon the Cannon it's Bank of the Lex let's go champ he's been trying to get

a fight forever is he still yeah he's always trying to get a fight yeah he's always trying to get a fight he's too old it's like too much of a risk

it's a three man horse race you know what I'm saying he's a risk three get a fight. Yeah, he's always trying to get a fight. He's too old. It's like too much of a risk. It's a three-man horse race. He's a risk. Three horsemen. If you're not those three, no one will see you fight anybody. Yeah, and you would have to be moving him up the line. Nah, he's too old. You hear Jim Gray after the fight?

What'd he say? He goes to Wilder. He goes, and people were booing him. Because he goes, and I love it, but I also get why people are booing. He goes, champ, wilder. Great performance. I hate to tell you. Brazil's behind him.

No one wants to see you do this to Brazil. No one wants to see you fight Ortiz next. That's supposedly what was supposed to be next. No one wants to see you fight Ortiz next. It's either Joshua or Fury. That's all we want to see. When are we going to get that? Who's booing? The crowd.

Because Brazil got starched. I'm like, come on, he's in the ring. But Jim Gray is no offense. So they were booing Jim Gray when he said that? Yeah, because he asked that. But I'm like, I've been shouting from the rooftops of my podcast saying the exact same thing. It's hard. And I told Showtime this.

It's hard to sell these fights because no one cares unless it's the ones we want to see. Which is why what makes the UFC so great. You know you're going to get one versus the champ. You the champ you know you get the number two guy versus the champ that the best are fighting the best night in night out yeah so they got mad at uh jim gray for telling the truth yeah it's gonna get mad that's just that is what it is jim gray knows the fuck it's also the truth it's the truth he knows the fuck he's doing look man i man, I want to see Luis Ortiz. I want to see that fight. You want to see what?

Luis Ortiz and Wilder. Again? 100%. You think that should be next? No, I'm not saying that should be next. If Joshua and Tyson Fury decide to fight and Luis decides to fight Wilder, I'm fine with that. You want to see it again? I'm fine with that. Luis Ortiz see it again? I'm fine with that.

Luis Ortiz is a beast. He's a beast. It's not the best fight, but I would watch the shit out of that fight more than Dominic Brazil. Oh, for sure. I would have loved to see that fight. I would have loved to see that fight instead.

I think they offered it to Ortiz, but I think Ortiz had an injury. They offered Ortiz Joshua because Joshua's opponent tested hot. That's June, right? Yeah. They offered it to him

and he said no. But this is boxing. His manager goes, we want more money than that. We want double. Joshua's team went, on short notice? No, we're giving you, I think it was five million. He went ten. Oh.

Look, Luis Ortiz is legit, bro. Legit. He's a fucking cubic Olympic boxer. We have no idea how old he is. But dude, come on. How badass is goddamn deontay wilder i mean he's losing that fight or teases yes and he cracks somebody southpaw he hits so fucking hard so does ortiz no that's what's amazing he does not ortiz is a killer he's a killer but he is not a

killer the way deontay wilder is that's a totally different joshua and fury on a killer like water when it comes to one punch power dude wilder in the world wilder is. That's a totally different animal. Joshua and Fury aren't a killer like Wilder. When it comes to one punch power, dude, Wilder is made out of wood. That dude is iron. When he fucking hits dudes, he hits dudes in a different way. It's like they're getting clubbed. Boom.

It's amazing, dude. The first thing I asked him when he did the podcast, I'm like, how the fuck do you hit so hard? Like, look, he just knows. He can absorb shots. He's just smart enough to hang on there and just stand in front of you. If you're standing in front of him, he can uncork on you. How skinny he is.

But look at this fight, man. He's joined 13 pounds. This is a tough fight. This is what I'm saying. He's losing this fight, dude. Look at this. He's getting his body worked. He's getting beat up.

He's wild. He got clubbed there. Dude, he is getting fucking hurt. So this is not an easy fight for him. And I think the rematch will be even harder. I really, truly believe that. I think whatever Ortiz has got left in his body, he's going to come at him. And Deontay Wilder knows that this guy can fucking box.

The difference, I think, is with Wilder, you're dealing with a guy who is getting better with every fight because he's literally learning on the job as one of the most successful heavyweight champions of all time because he's only been fighting since he was 20. He's getting better and better and better. For Luis Ortiz, Luis Ortiz is like maintaining right now. He's 60 years old. He's 49,000 years old. He's 60 years old from Cuba.

We have no idea. He has 7,000 fights. He's only lost once and he's still wilder. He's been popped. He's been popped for steroids. To quote Joey Diaz, it's fucking Fury or Joshua or go fuck your mother. And then he dropped him. And he's been popped He's been popped for steroids To quote Joey Diaz It's fucking Fury or Joshua Go fuck your mother

And then he dropped him And he dropped him here I think we're gonna get I think we're gonna get Joshua Wilder next man Listen bro If we don't I'm telling you

I'm down to see this fight again I'm down to see this fight again Ortiz hurt He hurt Wilder man And Wilder put him away Yep He hurt Wilder That's the happiest I've ever been

Dude I fucking love that guy I jumped out of my I fucking love that guy. I jumped out of my seat. I love that guy. I love his story. I love how he is as a person. He's fun. Great person.

He's great. And also, it's interesting how small he is as a heavyweight. So thin. When he fought Tyson Fury, he weighed 209. It's nuts, man. 209. My favorite part is he's such a beast of a dad, too. Yeah.

He brings his kid in the little baby. He brings him and his wife everywhere. Yeah. Brings the rest of the kids baby, he brings him and his wife everywhere. Yeah. Brings the rest of the kids everywhere. Like, I was surprised how sweet he was. Like, he's like a warm, friendly guy. You love him right away. Says blessings to everybody.

Blessings. He's a real talent, man. Yeah. He just, like, vibrates. Yeah. He's a real deal, man. He's good to be around. I'm excited about the heavyweight division, too, because I feel the same way about Joshua.

Joshua seems like a champ of a person. Yeah, I've never talked to him. He seems awesome. Yeah, like, all these interviews, he, like, comes across. He's smiling. He's charismatic. Because I feel the same way About Joshua Joshua seems like a Like a champ of a person Yeah I've never talked to him Seems awesome Yeah like all these interviews He like comes across He's smiling He's charismatic He's interesting

Probably got one of them Land Rover V8s Yeah Those defenders Yeah Just fucks all the girls I'm saying that Because I saw a video of him

Where there was a car show Where they drove Anthony Joshua around He got to drive around One of those Land Rover Defenders, those boxy looking military vehicles. I love those. Those are dope. They're about to release a new one. They're coming out

with a new one? Yeah, Land Rover's coming out with a new Defender. Oh, wow. Yeah, they have a new model. It makes sense. They're such hits. Just like Ford's coming out with a Bronco. Yeah. They're coming out with a Bronco and they're also going to have a smaller Bronco. Like a baby Bronco? Yeah. they're having to get just a- Like a baby Bronco?

Yeah. Like a two-door and a four-door? And wait until they do the SVT version of it, like the Raptor version of the Bronco. Oh, shit. I have to get rid of the Raptor, son. Your Raptor is one of my all-time favorite trucks. It is such a meathead move to get a goddamn Raptor. Especially in LA.

You're such a meathead. You got bales of hay back there, son. What are you using that pickup for? Zero things. What am I using that Pick up for Zero things What am I using it for Being awesome Being awesome Everything is awesome

Yeah The thing about those And it's uplifted With fucking monster truck Raptors are preposterous cars Because they They give someone The ability to drive

Like a real Off road vehicle With 500 plus horsepower And just get it from a factory It has a crazy suspension You can just drive over the fucking moon with that suspension. Do whatever you want.

I mean, it has crazy travel in those wheels. So when you drive it on the highway too, it's like smooth. Yeah, it feels like an S-Class almost. Yeah, it absorbs everything. But yet it's huge. But yet it's a monster of a vehicle. It's a monster.

And you could accessory the fuck out of that bitch with some crazy bumpers and rear bumpers. Yeah. Tail bumpers. Yep, sure can. Side pipes sure side pipes correct i mean side steps and shit what is that deontay wilder's gator skin oh no oh no let's go champ no i don't support this I'm 100% No way I love him I love him more now

No Look at that fucking car I want more pictures Yes Wow First of all What are you gonna do With gator skin

Listen first of all That's a wrap Okay that's not real gator skin It's a wrap What If it was real gator skin They would have to glue it To the car

I don't know They would ruin it There's like divots On the little things It's a special wrap yeah I know you can't do that but hush your mouth that's not alligator skin

I have an alligator skin I hate alligators I don't know if you know this I don't talk about it too much but I have like a hate for them you're scared of them? yeah when I was a little kid I lived in Florida when I lived in Gainesville from age 11 to 13 and we lived near a place called Lake Alice. And Lake Alice had alligators.

And I knew there was a lady that was walking her dog by the lake. And the alligator came out and snatched her fucking dog. And you saw it at 11? I didn't see it. I didn't see it. But I remember that being a thing. And I remember seeing those goddamn things all the time. And everybody telling me that you don't have to worry about it when i'm 11 my sister my sister is 10 and we'd be hanging

out this lake and i'd be like what the fuck is to stop an alligator from eating us nothing and i i really i remember looking them in the eye and i'm fascinated by them right they're amazing because i always loved dinosaurs when i was a kid it's a dinosaur it is a dinosaur and i was always in a nature i'm always into like cool nature shows and documentaries so i'm looking at this thing thinking like oh we're just used to them being around like we shouldn't allow them to be around we're just used to them being around so we think it's cool that they're around but they will fucking eat you you know eat your dog any chance they get so i started started buying, I buy alligator, I always have alligator belts.

You got an alligator fanny pack? They're always, all my belts are always alligator. That's gangster. Dude, I have alligator bags for my pool cues. I keep them in alligator.

You have alligator luggage? I don't like alligators. I have an alligator wallet. Fuck yeah, you do, dude. I don't like them. I want to kill them.

Oh, wow. I want to kill them. If alligators, if there was too many of them and they were near you, you'd want to kill them, too. They're eating machines. They're heartless eating machines. They're dinosaurs, yeah. They got a brain the size of a thumb. I don't

like them. Dude, how about the one at Disney World? The parents that took their kid there, the two-year-old. Yes. Ate the fucking kid. No, at Disney World, they have a real problem in Florida. They have to scan the fucking property looking for alligators. They have to go through it. They have waters there. I took my daughter,

my youngest, we went fishing there. There's a lake where you go bass fishing. It's amazing. There's tons of alligators in there? Fuck yeah, there is. You gotta be careful, man. Anytime you got a body of water and you land around it. In Florida. Yeah. No swimming in Florida. That's my rule. No swimming

in those lakes. No swimming. No. Bro, don't do it. No swimming. There's no water sports in Florida. That's my rule No swimming in those lakes No swimming No anywhere Bro don't do it No swimming There's no water sports in Florida That's the rule Get out of the water No dude I was in Tampa

They go on to go to the beach Nope Fuck you Fuck you and your Saltwater crocs Shark soup Sharks You got shark soup down here bitch

Fuck that noise Fuck you Too many ways to die in Florida Dude The craziest thing that's happening right now In the Everglades Is the pythons They said that there's been a 90 plus percent decrease Too many ways to die in Florida. Dude, the craziest thing that's happening right now in the Everglades is the pythons.

They said that there's been a 90 plus percent decrease in the amount of rabbits, possums, raccoons, deer, like all the major mammals that live in the Florida Everglades are gone. They've all been killed by pythons. God. They took a Judas python. You know what a Judas python is? They take a python, they put a chip in it so they can track it So they have this male python And they sent him out there to find the females

And they used him to locate Using the GPS To locate a 16 foot python 16 foot female python That was pregnant So he's banging These bitches out there Making them pregnant And these whores are watching

And these evil Fucking snakes Like a black china sex toy Look at that thing Is that it? Snake Holy Snake's boyfriend

Why would they kill it? They have to kill it bro Why? That thing's awesome No no no They're invasive They're not supposed to be there It had 73 eggs

And it was more than 17 feet long You imagine stumbling Across that thing No you're dead. You're dead. That thing weighs as much as you do. You're dead.

Holy fuck. Yeah, that's probably a 200-pound snake. 140. Oh, my God. Is that it? Little bitch ass 140-pound snake. 140? I'm getting away from that snake.

Get the fuck out of my face. If I got a knife, I'm going to live. I got to pee so hard. Go ahead, pee. Let's wrap this up. All right. People who want to see your special, They can watch it on Showtime On demand Yeah you can

No yeah You can watch it for free Go to Showtime.com You get 30 days of Showtime for free Go to Showtime.com Promo code SHOB You can watch it for free Yay

And You better do some more Of those improv shows I got a bunch coming up Dude tell me what I'm here I love Dora Let me do it brother

I want to say thank you to you though brother I wouldn't have even been on this journey If it wasn't for you man Dude I'm proud of you I love you i love you too brother i'm very very happy for you man all right my friends bye see ya