The Joe Rogan Experience - #1317 - Andrew Santino

Episode Date: June 25, 2019

Andrew Santino is a stand up comedian and actor. Check out his podcast “Whiskey Ginger” available on Spotify.

do do do do do do do Santino! Mommy! Good to see you brother. Good to see you brother. How are you? Good man. Um, the charcoal. It's you. That's me. I sent Santino a picture. I'll send it to you Jamie. You seen it? It's so fucking funny. I want residuals on that shit.

What is it called? Lucky Devil? Bro, it's you. It's you with a steak. Devil something? Something. I put it up online. I was like, this is so fucking funny. This is me with my own Charcoal company called If you're in the market For some charcoal man

Oh jealous devil That's what it is That's so me With that beard Fucking steak down there With a knife Jealous devil Barbecue is the only

Truly manly way of cooking Like nobody brags About having a baker's hat on Yeah there is There it is Jealous devil All natural hardwood Hardwood Hardwood charcoal Cooking Like nobody brags About having a baker's hat on Yeah there is There it is Shall we All natural hardwood Hardwood

Hardwood charcoal bitch Lump There is nothing Do you do the Do you smoke You smoke or just I use a Traeger You know what that is

No It's like a pellet grill Oh yeah yeah A pellet grill Right yeah yeah Pellet grills are the shit man They're so easy And then do you finish

In a skillet or no Yeah That's the way to go Right baby And with beef tallow Ooh What is that What is that And you know what else I use Shit, man. It's so easy. And then do you finish in a skillet or no? Yeah. That's the way to go, right, baby? And with beef tallow. Ooh. What is that? What is that?

And you know what else I use? Huh? Minced garlic and rosemary. I put rosemary in the cast iron skillet with the beef tallow. Oh, shit. It gives like an extra. An extra. I learned that in an Italian restaurant.

I was going to say. I was like, what are you guys doing? He's like, we use rosemary. Rosemary. Rosemary on the What are you guys doing He's like We use a rosemary Rosemary Rosemary on the ribeye From the back We use the rosemary It's a wonderful ribeye

If I go to an Italian restaurant And the dude Talks like that I am excited Yeah I'm stoked I'm more pumped If it's just a regular person Even if they're nice

I'm disappointed Yeah You know Even if It's like the nicest waiter ever I'm like Dude You seem like a great guy But damn I wish you were from Italy Yeah he's like I'm waiter ever I'm like dude You seem like a great guy

But damn I wish you were from Italy Yeah he's like I'm just whipping you guys up Some fettuccine Alfredo And you're like Hey Anybody from Italy back there man You Malibu fuck

That's a weird one right It's like Italian restaurants particularly Like I go to a Greek restaurant I would hope the guy would Not have an accent I don't need him I don't need him to have an accent I wouldn't care if he's from Greece

He could or he couldn't As long as I can understand him That have an accent. I don't need him to have an accent. I wouldn't care if he's from Greece. He could or he couldn't, as long as I can understand him. That's great. Right. But I don't require it. Nah. But I require it at an Italian restaurant. Yeah, because there's something about it that's different. And then everywhere else, Mexican.

You know what I mean? Everything else is Mexican. Chinese made by Mexicans. If it's Chinese people making Mexican food, or Mexican people making Chinese food, it's always one of those weird things. You're like, huh. Okay. Is this gonna

Is this gonna measure up You get those though Like at those You know those Those chain places Yeah Those chain What's it called

P.F. Chang's No P.F. Chang's Is not as much That's like a restaurant Like you order it P.F. Chang's Is pretty fucking good But that's all Mexicans

Cooking that shit Probably There's no like Chinese guy who greets you At the door You're talking Italian For like Have you ever been to

A bucaaneer beppo Like that's Oh bro Yeah That's In college That was my job Is valeting a buccaneer beppo

If you want like Straight up Filling Old school Italian food That's so much Bro They will hook you up

They try to fucking kill you Wait a minute Bucca Bucca di beppo Is the Chinese food Of Italian places Do you know what I mean Like how Chinese places Give you way too much food Bucca di beppo is the Chinese food of Italian places. Do you know what I mean? Like how Chinese places give you way too much food.

Bucca di Beppo is like 50 pounds of fucking pasta when you go to Bucca di Beppo. They bring that aluminum tin out with the rigatoni and you're like, who the fuck are you? For a full fucking kingdom. Who can eat you and your servants? Listen, this is silly. Yeah, it's absurd. You're turning me into an asshole. And that's also rigatoni

Like that kind of food You keep going You keep going Even when it hurts You don't stop Like that carb When you're eating Like a good linguine

With clams Like oh Mmm Why are you eating It's so gluttonous It's like Mmm Mmm

The chewy goo That has no nutritional value Is going in your stomach Like oh It's so good You can't wait for It's mixed in with some sauce To give the illusion of healthiness Yeah

Oh there's green A little bit of green on it And you're just like When your body's trying to process it afterwards Like You feel fucked up Sometimes when you eat too much pasta You feel like drunk

I feel like stoned or drunk Yeah you're broken My body's just like All your resources Slamming all that shit down Yeah Ugh it's so fucking gross Bro

Everybody remembers from like The time we were kids Apparently someone told me that You don't get a significant enough amount Of tryptophan from turkey For it to put you to sleep like that Yeah I've heard it's bullshit I want to know if that's true though

Can we google if that's true So I've been told that there is tryptophan There's always tryptophan from turkey for it to put you to sleep yeah, I've heard it's bullshit I want to know if that's true though you know if that's true So I've been told that there is tripped if there's always tripped a fan that's been in Turkey, but The the running joke is that after Thanksgiving dinner you pass out, but that's actually because of all the other shit You're eating fucking mashed potatoes on the carbs a fucking Brett Hawaiian bread rolls carbs Yeah Contrary to popular belief eating turkey isn't the main reason you feel sleepy After a Thanksgiving feast The oft-repeated turkey myth stems from the fact That turkey contains amino acid tryptophan

Which forms the basis of brain chemicals To make people tired But it's not true I mean it does but it's not the thing that knocks you out Being a fat fucking sitting on your couch and drinking 40 beers Is what makes you sleepy Yeah so it says tryptophan is a component of the brain Chemical serotonin

Which gets converted Into the well-known Sleep-inducing hormone Melatonin And poultry And many other foods Also contain tryptophan Chicken's got it

Similar amounts Yep Gram per gram Cheddar cheese actually Contains more tryptophan Than turkey does Suck on that Cheese heads

Yeah Cheese folks It's just being a glutton man Yeah you just become A fat piece of shit In the hollow You just feel like You're supposed to keep

Eating and eating and eating There's an interview With Cat Williams He's sitting in the back Of a limo I talked about this With Miss Pat Where he talked about

Not eating before shows And I was like He's right Like why would I eat Before shows And it made me realize Oh eating before shows Is a terrible idea

Yeah Because then your body Has got to process all that And you come out Like half assed We don't me realize Oh eating before shows Is a terrible idea Yeah Because then your body's Got to process all that And you come out Like half assed We don't know We never eat before shows When we do shows

We never eat before shows After shows is actually When it tastes the fucking best I'll have some fruit I'll have a little bit of fruit Before a show I'll have a little something Like a little baby thing

I don't mind some fruit Because you have some fruit It's like you're getting Some carbohydrates You're getting some sugar You're getting some fiber It's super easy to digest like melon you know melon your body's just you could lift you could to eat melon and then do a sick kettlebell workout like it's not gonna fuck you no like melons easy it's a little baby sugar rush too that probably helps your energy a little bit

your body just you mash it into mush so quick, and it just goes sliding down there. Your body's like, oh, we got this. We should do the tired tour where we just eat a huge meal before we get on stage and see what comes out of that fucking shit. Compare melon to like a stromboli, like one of those ridiculous fucking sausage and cheese with the layers of the bread on the outside. And the cheese is burnt on the top. You know, they burn it on the top. And you take a couple of bites of that and you're just like, oh. And you just keep going.

But if you looked at like the size of what you would eat on one of those mother... Oh, lasagna. Look at that shit. A buca di beppa lasagna. You want the layers and layers? We fucking got it. That will take you down son You ain't do no fucking crosswords after that

Cheese pasta cheese pasta pasta cheese Sit the fuck down There's more cheese coming You ain't playing no puzzles bitch I would wonder if the brain activity Slows down so much more Like I wonder what the active level of brain activity is When your stomach is filled

Oh yeah you're useless I feel like a fucking moron I bet you lose like 80 points of IQ You have just enough to get around. Someone should come to you and try to get you to do things. You'll fucking sign off on stuff. You'll change your marriage license. Just get fucking leave me alone.

What do I got to write? Right there? Fellas, you want your wife to sign a prenup, go ahead and fatter out on Pucca di Beppo lasagna, and then she'll sign whatever the fuck you want. Just give up. I don't think I could. When I drive home after having a full meal,

I feel more fucked up and out of it than if i have a couple of drinks it well you're definitely slower oh yeah your reaction time would be slower if you were full and you were driving just like it's just like you're tired when you're full and you don't talk as well you articulate things as quickly yeah it's like it's got to be related i was like as a part i worked there for four years. That's why I know so much about it. But part of the thing you're supposed to sell at the end of the meal is like limoncello or espresso because it's supposed to be like a digestive.

I don't know if it's a bullshit sale pitch, but maybe it is something to that where it helps you digest a little better. Well, in Italy, they all do it as a end of the meal to clear you out a little bit. The acid's going to help you break down some shit. That's where the espresso kicks in. And the chairs in Italy turn into toilets. You know that, right? In Brazil, when you go to those churrascarias,

they have this delicious dessert that has papaya in it. And it's like a papaya smoothie. It's like a blended papaya drink And like a dessert rather And they have that specifically Because the enzymes in papaya Help break down the meat Oh it does

It's wild And it's fucking delicious dude It's so good What's that chain That Brazilian chain Fogo de chão Fogo de chão Yeah

Fogo de chão That's it right there dude sun that will fucking rock you at the end of a good meal is there booze in there you can get booze they have a guy

who comes by I usually say no because I'm not a drunk but you I would say pour it that's the first question I ask is there booze in there

it's good with booze it's good without booze too it's just good I love those places I went there with that UFO guy Bob Lazar oh you did Lazar went there with that UFO guy, Bob Lazar. Oh, you did? Lazar went there with you?

Yeah. Yeah. And Schultz, Andrew Schultz went with me, too. Yeah. And Jeremy Corbell, the guy who made the documentary. We all sat around talking to him. That Lazar dude freaked me the fuck out, man. Ooh, he's a freak out.

Made me want to move. I had no indication that he's full of shit. I mean, I was- Zero bullshit meter? Here's the thing, man. I had no indication that he's full of shit. I mean, I was- Zero bullshit meter? Here's the thing, man. When you've told a story for as many years, as many times as he did, it's super hard to be consistent if you're just making everything up. if you're just making everything up,

it's super hard to have things that you're saying back then that everybody says don't even exist eventually turn out to be true. It's very difficult to deny that. These are parts of his initial story. His initial story had something to do with this thing called Element 115, which most people didn't even recognize that it actually existed until much later, right? That's a big feature of it. When did he start talking about it?

He started talking about the 80s. Yeah, that was 70s, 80s, right? I think. A long time ago. But it's, look, I don't know enough about elements and the table to understand it. You're talking to a state school kid. We're both stupid. You're probably more educated than me though but at the end of the day this guy is obviously smart as fuck and

he's a scientist that definitely worked at los alamos lab there's a there's a record of him there right and they tried to deny that they tried to erase it that alone tells me just the fact that they tried to say that he didn't exist he never went to he never worked at los alamos lab that's a that is freaking me out that's huge freaky yeah in the 1980s you don't think they could just erase your past right right you don't think that they could just erase your birth certificate or erase your your your medical records or erase your dental records they could do whatever they wanted back then well what's that tell me you saw that documentary about um the three identical strangers did you watch i heard about i didn't see it bro i heard oh my god i mean essentially in so many words i

get without divulging too much three brothers are born uh triplets are born and they are separated at birth unbeknownst to them they grow up completely independently run into each other later in life this is the 70s i think it was 70s And they meet Publicly on Maybe not Donahue But one of those Fucking big shows You know like They bring them all together Yeah

And they end up Finding out later In the documentary Spoiler alert That there's a company Who is doing this That's doing trial tests On babies that are separated

And putting them With different families To find out If they end up Growing up with Similar characteristics Nature versus nurture. Yeah, nature versus nurture.

Scientific experiment. But imagine how sick you have to be. Fuck. To decide to separate kids. Yep. And, dude, and show up and test their family to find out how they're breeding these, or how they're growing these children. Jesus Christ.

Gross as fuck. You watched it, right, Jamie? They'd come test them every week or two, and they'd like doing checkups. The parents almost didn't even know. I'm not sure. Well, one of the parents seemed to be more keen about it. And the other ones just felt like, well, they were getting money for it. So they were like, this is just a part of a program that we're in. Bro, how is that much different than aliens abducting people and running medical tests?

It's not. That's my point. It's like if they got away with that. You do an involuntary life and genetics test. Bro. Involunt bro involuntary mostly they have the data from that too like the nurse or the assistant from the doctor that was doing it says there is data she has read it but it has never been released and it should be because they fucked up oh wait oh wait you're leaving on an important part probably it's in a it's in a library in a in like harvard library and it legally can't be released

to the public it's something that's it's someone's holding on to it and it cannot be released they've tried hundreds of times and it's got a 2050 release date or whatever they're hope they're waiting for these people to die yeah so then they'll just go away and no one will think about it anymore it's fucking dude watch it it'll fuck you up i'm scared and then you find out in the documentary they're not the only ones there's they've done this over and over and over and over it's fuck dude i'm sitting on a plane watching it and he's reptilian yes you know when you're you know when you're on a plane watching something so good and you look around like other people you're like no one's watching it, but I'm like, it's fucking shit.

It was so trippy, man. It's so trippy. So, yes, do I think that Lazar had people trying to X out his pet? For sure. For sure. And look, there's a lot of other stuff that you got to go, hmm, I don't know. How do you prove that? How do you explain that? I don't know.

Isn't that like anything in our world? What do you believe in? The big questions are, is it education background? That was a big one. What do you mean, credibility-wise? No, whether or not he actually was educated at a certain place. I'm not, I can't, this is a fucked up one, but I can't say what he told me. But essentially, without saying it, it had to do with projects he was working on. Currently?

No, at the time. Oh, right, right, right. When he was working at Los Alamos Labs. I can't say anything more than that. Fuck. And now the internet explodes. But I don't know if it's true. Right. I mean, I told him I wouldn't say anything, so I said I wouldn't say anything, and I'm not going to say anything.

But whatever he said about all these different things, only he knows if it's true. So when you're talking to a guy, he doesn't seem like a liar. Seems like he's very intelligent. I mean, he's talking about all kinds of different things, very intelligent. So either he's running the greatest 30-year con of all time, or maybe this really did happen. When you talk to him, you're just guessing. You don't know. I don't know his life.

I don't know his real life, right? I'm just guessing. But he seems like a guy who's seen some shit and just didn't know what to do and told some friends about it and then then went to the news and that's what that george knapp guy who was the investigative journalist that studied this case over all the years like this guy's never wavered like he stuck with the story over and over things have shown to be true that they said were science fiction like the um there was this equipment they had at los alamos labs that he talked about where it was this thing that measured the distance or the size rather of the digits in your finger apparently it's like a great like your fingers the the inches are specific and so

like if you put your hand down that thing and then jamie's hand it would give a different measurement like there's different each bone is a different length and the exact length is of like 1.7 whatever the fuck it is you know 1.7 inches like whatever measurement tool they use it was it was calculating the length of your fingers through some kind of buggy system that he said didn't really work that often. But people said that's science fiction. It doesn't exist. And then they finally got photos of these things. And people that worked at Los Alamos Labs concluded,

or they conceded that these were a real thing. But for a long time, they were fighting it, being like, that's not real. Some people that didn't know were saying he made that stuff up. It doesn't exist. But it showed it does exist. And it did exist right there where he worked. He even took them on a tour through the labs like he knew where everything was he used to work there

So he when they went there with the documentary crew with jeremy corbell, they just walked him through he showed where he worked He walked right in there Maybe look maybe the guy's running the craziest con game of all time Yeah, and he's just a super genius and way smarter than me and he tricked me and he thinks it's hilarious or Maybe he saw some shit and he's just a super genius and way smarter than me and he tricked me and he thinks it's hilarious. Or maybe he saw some shit. What he was explaining that made it more and more interesting was how compartmentalized it was

and about how the problem with being so compartmentalized is that science is based on free exchange of information. You have to have guys who are testing all these different things and working on them together. That's the only way you can do it.

Right. So he's limited to a couple of guys that are working on the propulsion system, and then there's a couple of other guys that are working on the metallurgy and a couple of other guys that are working on the navigation system. And they chose him because he was kind of a maniac and he put a fucking jet engine in the back of a Honda, and it was on the cover of the Los Alamos newspaper. And it said in the article about Bob Lazar with his fucking jet-powered Honda

that he was a scientist at Los Alamos Lab, a physicist. So this was in the newspaper they printed this. This guy was doing this thing where he said he was living at the time in the area where Los Alamos was. And it said in the newspaper that he worked at the lab. There's a fucking logbook of employees. It's got his name in it from that time. A guy had it.

He showed it. They took photos of it. They showed it to everybody. Look, we have an employee logbook. Yeah. Or the employee directory, rather. Robert Lazar, right there. So he worked there.

He really did work there. How could you fabricate that shit? Everybody's scared to talk. All the people he worked with are scared to talk. Why do you think that? Look at what's happening to him, man. He looks like a fool. The FBI raids his house.

Everybody calls him crazy. He didn't want to have anything to do with this. The only reason why he wanted to do my podcast, he wanted one more chance to just get it out in a form where it's just him talking. And he felt like he and I, we both talked about it. I think me and you talk, I'll just let you talk. You tell me what happened

and I'll let everybody figure out if it's true. I don't know. What do you think, honestly? There was parts of me that said, maybe I'm just dumber than this guy and he's like really manipulative and maybe he just knows how to tell a story and stick with it.

You're pretty fucking keen, dude. I know, but it's a tricky thing, man. You can get cocky. You can get cocky. a tricky thing, man. You can get cocky. You can get cocky. You can get cocky and think that you know that someone's not full of shit. Yeah, but I feel like you talk to enough fucking people who are and aren't full of shit that your meter is higher than most. I'm also nice.

So when I'm trying to talk to someone, I want things to work out well. You're giving the benefit of the doubt often. I want them to have a good time when we're talking. I don't want to confront people. Even if I angrily disagree with every fiber in my being, as I've gotten older and better at it, better at talking to people, I avoid that kind of conflict.

Right. I just, I don't think it's necessary. But I just don't, I just think your bullshit meter is keen enough where you'd be like, I think it's super cocky to say that. I would like to think it is. Yeah, my ego would like to say, bro, I can fucking tell.

You can't lie to me, bro. Just try to lie. I've had people lie to me. Dude, I know NASA, bro. That ain't NASA stuff. You know what I mean? I think there is times when you know someone's full of shit. And there's times when you think you know someone's full of shit and you're wrong.

It's like this whole thing of looking in someone's eye and talking to them. Sometimes someone will tell you something like, oh, bro, I didn't even know you called me. Like, you motherfucker. Fuck. You fucking lied. You see it right in their eyes.

Like, you piece of shit. You didn't know. I didn't see your text, man. I didn't even see it. You didn't? It said you fucking saw it. Come on, bitch. Yeah, fuck that shit.

You know what that is. Well, who knows? I don't know. It freaked me out. I'm not going to lie. It was like fucking. Sometimes you have to do that to people What?

Hey man I didn't get your call Really? Is it better off to say Hey I find you a little annoying And very needy And so when I get a phone call From you often

I cringe I do like you And I enjoy our time But sometimes I just can't Sometimes I can't That's probably the most healthy version but you can't say that no you can't you have to go like this you'll go i didn't

you did today oh fuck i didn't see yeah sorry man i didn't see it did you not get my text that's what people that bothers me did you not get my text i always say sorry i didn't respond to your text i try to say that first yeah but but let me tell you something. As a man, if I text you and I'll get a text back, I don't get a fucking butt hurt. No, I just go, that's it. He saw it. It is what it is. I don't send a text in needing, if I needed a real response from you, I would call you and go, hey, I need to talk to you about something.

You ever have someone send you a text that's like a little on the needy side and then they send you one like three minutes later That says hello Every day Question mark Every fucking day Jamie Every day to me

When are you coming over? When are you coming over? I'm coming Jamie Leave me alone From our afternoon pump session you know Some people just get real weird with like them sending them messages in a bottle That's what it is It's like a little message

Did you get it? And then the other side of it is Bobby Lee lee who literally never answers a text ever ever ever ever i've sent him a thousand texts for him yeah he doesn't answer good for him his his uh green you know his notification is like 800 fucking little red you know he never answers he doesn't give a shit but i kind of but everyone who's friends with him knows that's just Bobby. Yeah. Joey just calls you. Yeah, Joey. I text him. He calls.

I've been calling people a lot more. I've been calling people a lot more. It's more personal. Well, it's also like you can't call as many people as you can text. And I think there's an overload of communication that occurs when you're texting with like 10 different friends at the same time. I got dudes sending me videos of them kicking pads and people showing me i mean look at this fish i caught like i fucking get these texts all day from all these crazy interesting people imagine if i got that many phone calls in a day it would be insane turn your phone off like hey what's up man hold on hold on someone's

calling me hey what's up tom like you would never right you know i'm saying like you would never if you think about even if you have like three friends and you're texting each other back and forth throughout the day making jokes maybe you know like a group chat like a lot of us are in group chats yes talk a lot of shit and show ridiculous pictures shit that would get me kicked out of the country oh yeah for sure right god i mean you would never do that if it was phone calls you never you would be like you needy bitch i gotta call you all day. I'm calling you in the morning, then I call you in the afternoon. Are we fucking? What's happening?

Even if we were. If you needed me to call you that many times in a day, I'd be like, hey, hey, hey. We got to be happy to be alone, too. Be happy to be together, but also you got to be able to be alone. If you need phone calls all day long, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. Chill out. Chill the fuck out. A text is good because you could be in the day long, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Chill out. Chill the fuck out.

That's why a text is good because you could be in the middle of some shit, right? If you're one of them dudes who's inclined to change a transmission, you want to rebuild an old Chrysler or something like that, you could be under there. You look at a text message, you go, hmm, I'll get back to him. I'll figure that out. That's my thing. Maybe real quick. Yeah, we're going to meet at 8. You know, it's minimal.

Yeah. Right? There's nothing to it But isn't that bad To be talking to people that way Isn't it Is it bad to be talking to people so much It's a shit diet

Yeah It's a shitty diet Duncan and I were talking about The other day about Like Finding information online Just constantly being inundated With stories of horrific things

And bad things and terrible things and ugly things that it's a bad diet it's a bad like mind diet and i was like you're so right that that is you think you're like immune to that that you are who you are and it's just some stuff you're experiencing but much like if you eat healthy foods your body feels better. I think if you concentrate on healthy things and interesting things and fascinating things and not horseshit, I think you're giving yourself a better mental diet. Totally. I think if you consume too much of anything, it's bad, right? So consuming too much of even too much positive information can be fucking detrimental.

Yes, because you can get delusional. Yes. So you have to have some semblance of a balance of how you ingest but the people that only ingest negative they're like people who only eat candy if you were a grown adult and for like 10 years you only ate candy your body would be a mess a fucking you'd be barely alive if you just had to live off Snickers bars, how much nutrition is in a Snickers bar? Like, I want to do something with that dude who did the 30 days with the Big Macs. The supersize me guy? Yeah.

How about this guy? Hey, bro, do this. Just eat nothing but Snickers. Snickers. See how long you stay alive. Snickers satisfies to a point. Satisfy your hunger, I guess. They're delicious.

Yeah, they're phenomenal. I love a Snickers bar. It's my favorite. They're great to take on hikes, too, by the really yeah a lot of nutrition in there you're burning sugar man yeah hiking up mountains and shit people love snickers bars wow but hey i think even the snickers people would tell you don't live off that shit stupid you can't live off us isn't that interesting like there's a food you eat that you cannot live off of yes because all food at one point you had to eat to live off of how many days do you think you could go with only eating snickers

bars and should this be the sober october challenge yes first of all yes and second of all what if we don't know burt could die burt will die but i mean that is what it is if you only can eat snickers bars and water. Two weeks. Two weeks without your body malfunctioning, I think something's going to happen. Yeah. Imagine how dumb you'd get. There's a post I just found from like two years ago where people asked this question

and it was a discussion. Someone did the math. You have to eat about 12 to get the caloric intake to get that 2,000 a day. 12. 12 a day. Just for 2,000 calories. But how many days could you survive on? I don't know. I mean, that's up to you. Well, bro, think about that. 12 Sn,000 a day. 12. 12 a day. Just for 2,000 calories. But how many days could you survive on? I don't know.

I mean, that's up to you. Well, bro, let's think about that. 12 Snickers bars a day? Holy shit. But how long do you think? Okay, the problem with that is like everyone is not coming from the same starting point, right? That's the biggest issue.

You have to have those three twin guys. Right. Separate them, make them all eat Snickers till one of them dies. You guys need a control. You guys need some sort of control. They would be the test. Just feed them. Give them a million dollars each.

Give them nothing but Snickers till someone's on the verge of death. Till somebody taps. Tap out, bitch. How many days do you think you could go on only Snickers? I say two weeks is probably the human body will start to shut down. I wonder. Maybe you could go a long time. Well, let me say this.

You could fucking find this. There's a dude that's been eating just pizza for like 25 years breakfast lunch and dinner we'll find that dude there's a dude that he's just pepperoni pizza i respect that and it's like fuck it my parents told me what to do my whole life and i'm a grown man now bitch i eat pizza every day just crying and eating pizza the journalist tried to get him to have like a piece of green a leafy greens puked on camera. He was like, they couldn't fucking do it. Unless it's basil in a nice sauce, get that fucking green shit out of here.

Yeah, he ate pizza for 20 years, something like that. That's insane. What was it, Jamie? What was it? 25 years. He says he has one bowl of Raisin Bran a week. Just so he can shit that compacted glue. That's what Pete says.

It's like glue mixed with protein. Just chewing down all that dough, that delicious dough. Holy shit. 25 years. He does have diabetes. Of course he does. Duh. Color me surprised.

How the fuck? Sorry, buddy, for laughing at your diabetes. But how the fuck sorry buddy for laughing at your diabetes but how the fuck not at all not sorry how the fuck does someone eat nothing but that glue for 25 years that's the cat that's him looks good looks like he's 48 guys should be doing youtube videos so what do they call they call him skinny fat on there was an article they call him like he's you know you know skinny fat right yeah he looks remarkably good for someone who's only eating pizza for 25 years it might be something to it but they say skinny fat skinny fat's fucking these people up skinny fat skinny fat where like the body is doesn't show any signs but the inside's fucking murdered it's torn apart yeah well his organs are failing muscles

nothing's there yeah that's why you can look small but you don't have anything there. Right. Skinny fat people. Your limbs are barely hanging on. Threads. It's like a fucking puppet. There's certain people, you know, certain people, like you hug them and you're like, oh my God. God, there's nothing there. You're so frail. So sad.

It's funny when you hold, that's like when I take pictures after shows and say hi to people. Yeah. You know, and you grab and you feel, and some people you feel and you're like, wow, that's fucking weird. It's weird. It's weird. You're like a fucking lump of bones. Just a bag of sticks.

Sticks covered with jello. Just a lump of bones. It's terrible. Just a bony lump bag. What's really terrible is when, I mean, I'm not saying you have to be a bodybuilder. Oh, but you have to fucking. You should keep your body moving. It's just a laziness thing

It's a discipline thing Yeah Like this idea That there's some sort of Nobility and humility And not caring about your body It's silly Fuck out of here

You only get one You get one It doesn't make you dumber If you work out Stop I know that jocks were assholes And people bullied you I get it

Yeah But god damn it Take care of your Fucking meat vehicle Just go take care of it Take care of the meat skeleton And people Oh yeah you're get it. Yeah. But God damn it. Take care of your fucking meat vehicle. Just go take care of it. Take care of the meat skeleton. And people go, oh yeah, you're vain.

That's why you work out. Yes. Sure. That too. I like looking good. I like it. It's better to me than not looking good. I'm sorry. I'm willing to put in the time.

But you know what the irony is? Because of the growth of MMA. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers, my brother Because of the growth Of MMA Crossfit

All of these All these new worlds That have kind of Emerged socially now That are so much bigger Than they were years ago Nerds That I grew up in

High school Are into working out Yeah That's the irony That's a big thing With Jiu Jitsu That's what I'm saying It's like the biggest

Like insecure people Now they found a home In something that's disciplined It's good It feels good people, now they found a home in something that's disciplined. It's good. It feels good to move your body. It feels good. It feels good to do things, whether it's taking a dance class.

I'm not into that. But taking karate. I'm not into that shit. I like yoga. I like running. I like doing jujitsu, obviously. I like all kinds of martial arts. But I just like moving my body, man. i like running up hills you move your body get it going you'll feel better afterwards i know you

don't want to do it i never i fucking hardly ever want to do it if i maybe want to want to actually do it five out of ten times but maybe less yeah but i do it i just do it i know what it's like to not want to do it i get it shut up i just start talking to myself i go come on pussy what are you talking about do it if i was you outside of you knowing what i know if i could read my mind i'd be like come on bitch you're just being lazy put your fucking shoes on get a get a sweat going then you're gonna feel pumped come on man you've done this a million times and then invariably i'll be in the middle of the work and i'm sweating like fuck yeah yeah yeah and then i get into it it's like it just you

got to push past that creepy resistance that steven pressfield wrote about in uh the war of art it applies not just to art not just to writing replies it applies to cleaning your room, it applies to saying you're sorry to a friend, it applies to taking care of a debt, all those things. You just keep putting off. It's this weird thing that you have. When you see a problem, you got to fix it. When you see a thing you have to do, go do it. When you know something's like, clean your fucking room, right?

That's what Jordan Peterson always says. Clean your room. Clean your room. And that really is what he means. Get your shit in order. Yeah. Well, dude, I think it's also a personality trait, though, too,

to be fair. Like, I fucking, I'm someone that has to get it done. You know when someone goes, you don't have to do it all at once. I'm the opposite. I'm like, yeah, you do. Yeah, you fucking do.

Like, she wants new blinds at the house. What if we just do the living room for now? I was like, no, no, no. Just do it. Get the whole fucking thing done. What's the difference? That's a manly thing to say, too. Get it fucking done. What, can we just have the living room for now? I was like, no, no, no. Just do it. Get the whole fucking thing done. What's the difference? That's a manly thing to say, too. Get it fucking done.

What, can we just have this window? No. This window, this will be my shade spot. A man goes, it's America. Throw the whole fucking thing. Shades. Back the truck up. All around with the fucking shades.

Give me some new fucking blinds. I want trees around this house. I want to walk around my cock out. Big trees. You could buy an old tree. You know that? You could buy like, I want a tree. I want trees around this house. I want to walk around my cock out. You could buy an old tree. You know that? You could buy like, I want a tree in my yard. It's 500 years old.

They'll find you one. That's dope though. That's cool to be like, place it here. I got a fucking, I have a 150 plus old oak tree in my backyard. Here's what's weird. Maybe shit. Say if you have a piece of land, right? And that piece of land Is a hundred acres

A beautiful piece of land You know You don't own the animals On that land Like if there's wildlife On that land If there's a bunch of deer On that land

You can't just shoot them You have to have tags You have to have State allocated tags That give out a certain amount Based on the deer population Using wildlife biologists And they view it

From helicopters and shit They have all these Different ways They have they have all these different way they have trail cameras all these different ways they determine the numbers and they figure out how many people can hunt but you own the trees isn't that weird yeah you own all the trees yeah you own everything that they're around yeah like you own some gigantic population of pine trees in the forest like you own some giant swath of land that you're logging, like those logging companies do. Yeah.

They own those trees somehow. They don't own the deer. They don't own the elk. They don't own the eagles. But they own the fucking trees. It's weird, man. Maybe it's because the trees don't move. Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

Trees can't move, man. They're easy to just... I could just take that? Yeah. I saw that thing. So, like, they, like, completely overfish, you know what I mean with the forest and then they they leave these big cut like these huge cut areas like have you ever been to the woods and

seen a place that's been logged yep it's interesting yeah it's wild to see oh it's kind of beautiful in a weird way i hate to say it but it's like you're like wow that's it's mesmerizing you know it's it's a key area for hunting too right because well you're there's a clearing now, right? There's a clearing and the animals come out to eat the sprouts. Right, right. As the new life grows up. Yeah, and it's a big open place, so it gets plenty of rain and sunlight.

Sometimes the canopy keeps smaller things from growing. You don't get enough sunlight. And a lot of times in the canopy, too, everything's beaten down with pine needles. Everything's covered with leaves and shit inside When you have a real thick forest Those big open areas man All these animals come out and you can find them in there That's fucking wild

Easy hunting season huh? Well it's never easy They can smell you in an impossible distance way Do you put stuff on yourself to not smell? No you can't do anything You can't cover up the smell huh? No chance The only thing you can do is there's a thing called ozonics that does work but it only works if you're in one place so like if you're in a tree stand you have a thing that you put above your head and it sheds ozone down on your body and what the ozone does and

this is how it's been explained to me again remember i'm a moron so you're talking to a fucking idiot i'm like i'm like community college and i went to boston university or umass boston rather for three years in their continuing education program i never even took my sats i'm a legitimate moron but apparently this ozone shit that comes down over you it uh it confuses the deer like the deer gets a scent it's like what the fuck is that right he doesn't know what it is as opposed to smelling you and going fuck they smell you they just run they smell people they just run yeah they take off they'll run like hundreds of yards away you'll see them just go like this and they just take off and you're like what happened and you blow some um this like uh white talc in the air like

a puff of talc and as it drifts you see which way the wind's blowing it's a wind checker right so when you're up there in the wind you have this like little it's like a like a almost like a little um baby powder right and you just press it and the stuff goes in the air and you can see exactly where they went they even have vaporizers now that do it now I have one that's like a vaporizer You press a button It just mist Goes in the air To show you where the wind is

And it's just mist That's wild Yeah it's wild And it's just for that Just to make smoke So you can see which way the smoke goes But it's just mist That's the ozone shit

Three ozone bonds To your scent molecules Yeah So this is what they're saying So I don't think they're allowed To lie about this shit I think in this day and age So essentially it creates like a shield For your natural

Your odor So my friend John Dudley Is a big believer in this And anything he's a big believer in, I'm a big believer in That is fucking wild Apparently it does work But still, if they see you move If something funky comes their way

Maybe it works for like 80% of the time. Dear, some sneaky fucks. They're smart. How good is their vision? Their vision is good, but they view things like from an edge detection thing. Like they see things that move. Right. So if you just freeze, if you have camouflage on and you freeze, they'll often walk right

by you. That's fucking wild Yeah especially if you have There's a thing This is another thing Called a hex suit H-E-C-S And a hex suit

I wear one I don't know if they really work But they appear to work with birds Like they've proven that birds Follow an electrical magnetic signal That's how they get home Right They use the natural magnetism of the earth

To figure out where the fuck they're going Like they did It's crazy What what isn't that funny that we can't do that we can't get home yeah we could just use our two wrong turns I'm fucked though but these um birds it's like it works with birds like all these guys say that you put these suits on birds have no idea you're there they don't see you like it blocks the electrical magnetic signal that your body's what could that be made out of what's that it's a mesh there's some sort of a mesh that blocks that yeah that blocks it they have actually like meters they can show they put it on and wave it over this

thing there's no reaction take it off and then it's a reaction where it's detecting the signal that your your body puts out the real question is they prove that it does that the real question is can animals really see it? And how many of them can see it? The big thing is smell. It doesn't matter if they can't see you. If they fucking smell you, they're gone. So you could look just like a tree. But if a deer smells you, he's going to just start running. They just run.

What's the only fix for the smell thing other than that? That thing. That's it. Their sense of smell is impossible to understand. It's so much better than ours that what we have shouldn't even be called a sense of smell It'd be like the difference Face holes How well do ants do stand up comedy

Like That's in comparison to a human There's a couple of good ants dude There's a couple of good ants man But that's what the difference is in comparison to like how bad our noses work Versus a deer What animal's the best? I think a bear.

Bears have the best sense of smell? I think bears have a preposterous sense of smell. Dogs are really good, but it's not that high. Really good. I think a bear is like 100 times stronger than a bloodhound. What the fuck? It can smell 18 miles away. 18 fucking miles?

Bro. Search what the average Sight distance is How far can people What's the typical Like sight distance People can only see About a mile right

It depends on the animal Like some animals Don't see good at all Like pigs don't see good at all Yeah You just freeze on a pig They don't know What the fuck's going on

Eagles for sure Eagles It's about like little mice In the fucking field Eagles have the best Probably sight Yeah they can see From miles and miles and miles.

My friend from Alaska, he goes halibut fishing all the time. He said, if you're pulling a fish up, an eagle can see it miles away. That's some dinosaur shit. That's how you know dinosaur shit is at play. Miles? What? Grizzly can find an elk carcass when it's underwater, and polar bears can smell a seal through three feet of ice. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Three fucking feet of ice? Oh, my God. That's insane. Three feet of ice. That is a fucking monster. Imagine if you were in a big concrete building, and it's three feet thick, and there's a bear on the outside going, Neat. If that was a monster movie, you be like this is insane this monster's insane

let this monster know I'm here like it'd be two kids right their parents have already been killed and their head is just breathing like don't worry we're safe this concrete's three feet thick there's no way it can smell us and it's outside I smell you Oh he talks too

What the fuck Just wanting Three fucking feet You and your sister 18 miles Of smell Three feet of Smell through ice

Did you ever see the video Where the BBC reporter Gets inside a box Like a plexiglass box No And they put him around polar bears and the polar bear tries to eat him and the polar bear is trying to eat him through this box trying to figure out how to get to him because it knows he's in this box it is fucking terrifying dude why would you

ever bro and this guy's got cameras on him the whole time shit in his pants just dukey and left and right fill in those drawers son how strong is that that thing has to be indestructible they're so big they're so big and we've been we've been really fucked over just let that let that run jamie we've been really fucked over with goddamn klondike bars and coca-cola you're making them sweet. We have a super distorted perception of this fucking predatory killing machine that eats its babies. Bro. Bro, these things are fucking ruthless.

They're the cleanup crew. They're there to make sure. There's so few resources up there in the wild that this giant behemoth of a bear exists so he could just jack everything. Just jack everything and keep the populations nice and low. Look at that. You're right in there. I'm not a biologist.

So he knows it's in there. He's just trying to get at it. He's biting it. Goddamn, dude. That would fuck me up. Look at this, man. It's pressing on it. That's glass, man.

If it breaks, you're dead. If it breaks, you're dead if it breaks you're fucking dead look at its mouth it's fucking teeth through it bro when it's opening its mouth that's a monster's mouth

this is what I look like drunk at a McDonald's at fucking four in the morning trying to get food to the drive through look at this poor guy it's behind him it's behind him

he's like but the camera is this way oh they're shaking shaking the shit out of it of course it is why would he be so convinced that that thing would survive it he be so convinced that that thing would survive? It'd be so

dope if it just... How do they rescue this cat? This dude? Yeah, how do they get him out of there? How long does it take to get him out of there? They gotta find a way to distract this bear. At the end it just walked away. Come on. Yeah, it's gotta get frustrated at some point. Like, fuck this. Look at that.

He goes, fuck this. at that He goes fuck this But how did they test that box What if that guy hated him The guy who made the box Oh this guy's gonna climb out I'm out I am free We've got a prize

Oh the bear Yeah Like let's pretend the bear's right there Yeah right next to him That thing can run 35 miles an hour Fuck outta here Have you ever seen how fast a bear runs Yeah they're insane

Dude They run like that on ice Those things just dig in with their claws Fuck out of here You ever seen how fast a bear runs? Yeah they're insane Dude They run like that on ice Those things just dig in with their claws They can run fast I like how they kind of pretended like that Was a totally safe Normal experiment for him to do Like he got out like

No big deal man You know fucking polar bears Ironically are black Underneath all that white fur You know that right? No it's clear Those fur is actually I thought it was like clear

It's black skin Oh yeah the skin's black Isn't that wire? Yeah it is wire Well you gotta imagine That people get the skin's black Isn't that wired Yeah it is Well you gotta imagine That people get snow tan Right You get snow blind

Yeah snow blind Cause the sun Beating off the snow Like people get burnt Like really bad Oh yeah You go skiing without shit That's what a polar bear looks like

No that's a black bear bro It says polar bear without hair Yeah but it's not Look at the hair around it's face See how it's all black I guarantee you That's a black bear Also It just doesn't look big enough What does a bear Maybe it's not. Look at the hair around its face. See how it's all black? I guarantee you that's a black bear.

Also, it just doesn't look big enough. What does a bear... Maybe it's just another one. It's got mange. But you see how it has the hair on the top of its head is black? I think someone just wrote that. It doesn't mean it's correct. No, but they are. They're dark, but underneath all that, they are really dark as well.

Hey, maybe when they get mange, their fucking hair on their head gets black. Who the fuck knows? Go to that. Mange is weird shit. What the fuck is that? It's a fearless bear. I mean, I've seen this before, I guess. I typed in polar bear, so it popped up.

Well, I would imagine. Polar bear, no fur. They're the most terrifying because they're the biggest. Well, they're right there, Jamie. The top fourth picture is them spreading the hair apart, right? You see the skin there there yeah so there you go oh perfect yeah and see how the the hair looks white but it's actually they say it's like more of like a clear color wow that's fucking crazy to me yeah like not technically white

right no it's yeah it does it does it looks translucent translucent almost right but what an amazing animal man unbelievable imagine that thing lives in this place where there's no vegetables at all. Nope. But it got so big. It evolved to get that big. Meat, dude. Just meat. Tons and tons and tons of meat.

And it can eat a fucking, like a hole through ice to get to you, too. It'll just chew through the ice. It'll do whatever it can to get to you too. They'll just chew through the ice. It'll do whatever it can to get to you. It's so nice that they're so far away. They swim. You know, they jump in the water and swim. They can swim six miles an hour. Bro.

And for how long can they swim? I wonder how long they can stay in the water for because they have to get out at some point. How fast is that in knots? And why do we need knots? Boat people love that shit. What's up with boat people? Hey, it's six fathoms. fuck face how many feet uh 5.2 knots 5.2 knots is a mile six miles an hour six

miles an hour is 5.2 knots my boat goes five knots why would you want to make it slower that's so confusing why would they do that when they could just do miles an hour? What is knots? I think knots were around before miles an hour. No, well, kilometers were also before miles an hour. Was it? Yeah. Yeah, kilometers. I thought kilometers were the metric system and that was later. No, knots are...

Kilometers, then miles. We're so dumb. Really smart people are like, why the fuck are they talking? Why are they talking about kilometers? Some engineer was like, god damn it. Bro, when I was in high school, they tried to put the metric system on us. They tried to bring back the metric system. And we're like, bitch, this is America.

Fuck you and fuck your systems of 10. We leave out unnecessary letters too. Maybe not. Oh, never mind. Sorry. Didn't work. Just like soccer. They tried to push soccer on us too You know why soccer didn't work?

I was talking about this today Because it's America Too slow Too slow Too slow Baseball works What are you saying? People have goals

People have goals Dude People have goals Oh okay So people have scoring Scoring People have Listen

The NHL I see what you're saying The NHL people The reason they changed the blue line rule Is because they wanted more goals So they got more goals More viewership What's more American than a Grand Slam?

Right? Literally nothing Bases loaded Crack That's all SportsCenter used to be Home runs and dunks Yes Over and over

That's what it fucking should be We love seeing that moment Yeah So in soccer When you have 90 minutes And sometimes no goals I get it I can't do it it if you understand how difficult it is if you're a fan of the game if you love the game i play the game like ian loves it yeah he does he's

the only black guy i know that loves soccer in america is that real in america how many black fucking friends you have that love soccer he's my only one that's true i don't have any black friends that watch soccer that's true he's literally my only one j's true i don't have any black friends that watch soccer that's true he's he's literally my only one jamaica right though yes in england he lives in england as well england jamaica right born in jamaica then moved to england and new york have you seen those games he goes to they look awesome they do we were supposed to go dude they're fun i'm not taking they're fucking fun it's just it's not i don't it's not my shit we were organizing a comedian thing but i had a family thing that i had to do i couldn't make it but they look like a good time especially

if you want to get blasted on some of this uh mike tyson weed that we smoked today it's the fucking delicious by the way thank you mike thank you mike thank you mike shout out to the champ motherfucking champ um what were we just talking about polar Polar bears. Oh, polar bears. Yeah, man. There was some article about polar bears. You know, whenever we say that polar bear populations are threatened, they definitely are in certain spots. But the places where polar bears occupy is enormous. Yeah, it's huge. And in some areas, there's a lot of them. And we have this non-nuanced way of looking at polar bears.

So people would get really mad if they found out these Inuits were killing polar bears. But sometimes these folks are living in places where polar bears start entering their villages. Right. And they're super dangerous. Killing their babies. They'll kill people. They will straight up kill people. You know why I think that is?

There's a comic who's a, he's a also a uh veterinarian kevin he's a vet yeah he's um he's a guy who performed in denver i met him in denver i was working with him one day oh oh yeah do you know him yeah he's he's famous in denver fitzgerald yes he has a tv show out there fitzgerald yeah i was gonna say fitzgerald but i thought i was wrong because my friend dave fitzgerald i talking about. He's got long white hair. Yeah. He told me that polar bears out of the womb are like Predator. You know, like the movie Predator.

Like out of the womb, they're just trying to bite and kill. Out of the womb. Dope. Out of the womb. They just come out. And I was like, well, it makes sense. Right? If you stop and think about what their life is, everything is just white and frozen.

And occasionally you catch something slipping. Occasionally you catch someone who's sunning themselves and you get to them before they can get away. And you could dive in the water and grab a foot and drag them back up. Survival, man. The darkest story that I ever heard. I don't know if this is true, but let's pretend it is. Yeah, fine. There was some sort of an expedition and their uh boat hit some ice and so their boat

started sinking and they had a real problem because the next boat was hours away so they call in a mayday for the next boat and they climb out of the boat in time before it sinks and they get to an ice shelter like a an ice raft, an ice island, I guess. Like an island, yeah. Ice island. And in the distance, they see a polar bear. Fuck. And it's many, many ice land bridges or whatever the fuck it is. Whatever ice distance that is.

Ice island away. Ice steps. But he keeps jumping in the water and getting closer. Fuck me. He's trying to figure out what the fuck they are. And then finally it gets to them. Finds out what they are. It's in the ice it gets to them. Finds out what they are. It's in the ice island next to them.

Jumps in the water. Pops up. Grabs one guy. There's nothing anybody can do about it. Oh, fuck. Takes him. Kills him. Drags him in the water again.

Goes back on the other ice island. Just starts eating him. And they're just chilling, watching it. And they're one ice island away, hoping that he doesn't stay hungry after he eats their friend i hope it was your least favorite friend then the boat comes and rescues him fuck me dude and they had to watch their friend get eaten alive their friend got eaten alive and he died probably quick but he probably he probably ate him in front of them he probably he probably took it so they could see it he didn't care yeah that's what i mean like he'll worry when you eat a clam That you're eating it In front of other clams

Depends on who I'm eating In front of No I'm sure he Fuck I'm sure the bear Ate it to know They wanted

He I'm saying he kept An eye on them Yes It's like you're next dude Well he probably Knows that they're there If this isn't enough

I mean maybe the guy Is like a small guy What do you do What do you do You just sit there And watch it You jump in the water What do you

What do you fucking do You can't swim away you'll freeze to death if you get in that water you just have to accept the fact that if it chooses to kill you that's your time there's nothing else you can do you can't fight it off i would punch my buddy and knock him out so it's easier than you know what i mean knock him out huh you have to think about how much you love your friends oh my god there's so many people i'd knock out leave for bears to eat there's yeah there's a lot of people most of my friends I'd knock out but what it is

is just it's it's inescapable yeah the power that it has have you had a moment of near death experience never

like that never once never around an animal like that have you ever had a near death experience where you're like fuck I could die

oh maybe car accidents car accidents yeah that's the only time i thought i might die it's kind of a near-death experience it is you ever know have you not been in a bad one i've been in some bad ones been lucky that's near-death shit yeah you you ever ride bikes motorcycles no it's gonna that's near-death two people i knew crashed and one person i knew saw someone get hit all in like a month. It was like bang, bang. So two people I know crashed and fucked themselves up.

One was a dude that I was working with. And another was Frank Mir, who was fighting in the UFC. He was one of the best heavyweights on the planet. And some guy ran a red light and T-boned him, snapped his leg in half, sent him flying through the air. Had a real problem. I mean, he almost lost his leg, man sent him flying through the air had a real problem i mean he almost lost his leg man nobody's lucky lived but femurs like the big upper leg that's a really bad bone to break well that's when you die usually yeah it takes a long time to heal it's very

dangerous a lot of a lot of blood flows through that area a lot of main arteries that can fucking bleed out really takes a long time for that leg comes back and for frank it was years before he was like 100 again and arguably he never was the same it's arguable that something like that you're you're always going to be like playing catch up because it's such a devastating injury well that's fuck i mean sounds like fuck motorcycles man it's too much nothing protecting you whoa nothing fucking on the outside man but if you lived in well i was going to say if you lived in a rural area but did you hear about that guy that plowed into these bikers?

He was in a pickup truck. Yeah, he was in a pickup truck in New Hampshire. And there was this, I think they called themselves the Jarhead Bike Club or something like that, a bunch of Marines that got together and rode their bikes around. And this guy plowed into him and killed like seven of them. On purpose? No, I don't know what happened i don't know i don't i don't know if he was being careless if if he was speeding i don't know he was fucked up i do not know here was that here where was new hampshire new hampshire but so i was gonna say yeah i could drive a motorcycle

on some rural road yeah but it's some rural road you gotta worry about people not paying attention right you move out to the middle of nowhere you still don't fucking know stephen king remember what happened to him stephen king got hit by a guy who was uh i think like he dropped something in his car and so he was leaning over to uh pick up whatever the fuck he left in his van stephen king was walking by the side of the road maybe it was his dog i feel like maybe it was his dog was doing something. Anyway, the guy wasn't looking and hit him and just broke everything. Damn. I mean, his whole body was broken. He had several broken bones. He was fucked up

for a long time. It took him forever before he could just sit at his desk again and write. And he details it in great detail. And he talks about it in his book on writing as well. That's him with pins in his leg. I mean... There's that dog. And dude, he was older at the time.

I mean, he was a young guy. But he's always looked old. For some reason, Stephen King has always looked. Like every time I see a photo, I'm like, what is he fucking? He's always 50? He's been 50 since he was born. Well, bro, if you're carrying around that kind of evil inside your brain. That's what I'm saying, right?

That fucked up shit has made him look old always. That guy. What the fuck is that? What is this? Stephen King calls. Maybe it's not his train. It's's not his train yeah let's not go down a little google rabbit hole please he'd be there forever stephen king may think about how many amazing books that guy has written think about the diversity of them by the way yeah they're not all the same kind of like people always go like stephen king whore he's done drama he's done a lot of different kinds of different things but you know what i like he almost always made it a writer

from maine right it was a guy from maine yeah and then this crazy shit would happen to him that's fucking like many of his stories not all of them but many of his stories were a guy from maine yeah did he write shawshank redemption that. It's a story based off at least. Dude, you know what I love? Yeah, it's not his story, but think about that. He wrote that beautiful... Yeah. The rest of his shit is very dark. So much of it is black as night.

He's got so much good stuff, man. I mean, he's got so much good... Did you ever read The Tommyknockers? Uh-uh. It's fun, man. It's about an alien craft that crash-land landed in the woods and uh i don't want to give any spoilers don't start changing people what does tommy knocker mean what the fuck i don't know but i think it was based on some like old uh fairy tale that people tell i like learning

old words like that tommy knocker find out what it is let's find out like this word hey i want i have a word for you like uh like candy man you Candyman, you know, that kind of thing. Here's a word. I have a word for you. There was a word that I heard that I thought was very funny that I wrote down that I was like, oh, Joe will think that's fucking wild. But I like when I learn a new word, I go, oh, that's fucking. I always admire you again when I see you.

With no case? No case. I don't give a fuck. He rocks. No case, Jamie. Fuck that shit. Jamie rocks no case too. He's recently.

How long? This whole phone since I've got the gold one, the new iPhone X. How many months has it been since you've been rocking no case? Since October. Do you feel free? Sure. Do you feel better? I only had the case for one phone, I guess.

Do you feel better than other people? No. I would. I feel riskier. I would. Do you feel like you're living on the edge? Every day you make it a success. I so admire how Neil deGrasse Tyson explained it.

He's twirling it around his fingers. I've made some catches that maybe is a gained ability because of doing that. Right? Otherwise, you might just let it drop if it was in one of them otter cases or something, otter box, them thick ones. This doesn't ever... I've said the same thing, not to cop Neil deGrasse Tyson shit but I love the design of this thing

why did I buy it if I don't want the that's what you've always said yeah why I love it it's beautiful and I see people with these huge cases

like it's an Otterbox you can't so fucking throw it off a cliff why am I throwing my phone off a fucking cliff why are you throwing your phone off a cliff but also

what I'm sorry I got Tommy Knocker's got it but also by the way we're all stone folks but also I think about it in the sense of I know this sounds privileged fine But also, by the way... We're all stone, folks. But also, I think about it in the sense of,

I know this sounds privileged, fine, but I have AppleCare, which isn't that expensive. How dare you? If I fucking break it, I just get one. It's like 20 bucks. What the fuck? You're a monster. Take that. Oh, he broke it.

Jesus. I don't give a fuck, Joe Rogan. You don't give a fuck. What does Tommyknockers mean? What does it mean? It's based off of knockers who would have been miners trapped in a cave and would have been pounding on rocks to get rescued. In his book, it's the aliens underground who are knocking on rocks.

Oh, shit. So they're trying. I don't remember the exact premise. I knew they were doing something that was changing the people. They made a really kind of funky movie. It wasn't like the best movie. It wasn't a good film. It's hard to make his fucking... Was it for TV? It was a miniseries for TV.

How many episodes? I think four or five. It's one of those ones where you almost gotta imagine it in your head. And that's an asshole thing to say, because like I used to have a joke about Game of Thrones. People say it's booked better. I'm like is that possible you're watching real dragons and people fucking and then sword fighting it's impossible and you're gonna tell me that two episodes so two hours

that movie if you wanted to really figure out what the book is it would have to be hours and hours and hours that book nuanced. The book got into psychology. What was the other one where the dudes were in the woods and some alien crawled inside that guy's asshole and killed him? Which one was that one? Stephen King book? Yeah. Family reunion?

No, there was like some alien thing. It crawled in his ass and killed him? Yeah, it would take over these people. It would take over these people. It was in the guy's toilet. You know who it was? It was the guy who was in that HBO series Homeland. Oh, oh.

Mandy Patinkin? No, it was the guy who was captured. Remember? He was captured and he was turned over. The redheaded dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guy. What the fuck is that guy's name?

What the fuck is that guy's name? I know what you're talking about, but this is a newer movie? We can figure this out. We're going to get to the bottom of this. Well, first of all, that guy, find out the TV show Homeland first season. Yeah. And then you'll find the guy's name. He's on Billions now.

Billions, that's right, that guy. Come on. That guy's an awesome actor. Why can't I think it's funny? You know that guy has an English accent? Yeah, he does. Isn't that crazy? I know that.

As good as he is at being an American, that's creepy. Well, it's kind of like, what's his name? The Walking Dead guy. Yeah. Yeah, same guy. I mean, same thing. How dare you, Jamie? Wait, wait.

Also, Damian Lewis. Damian Lewis. Okay. Go to Damian Lewis's IMDB, and there was a movie that he did a few years back that was a good fucking movie. It was a Stephen King movie it was a steven i wasn't the right one i just never heard of it's called dream catcher dream catcher that's it yeah i was thinking white trash that's why i was thinking white trash i was like white trash

white trash trailer trash dream catcher same kind of thing though you know that is dream catchers that is the barbed wire around the bicep tattoo of the house accoutrements. A dream catcher? Yeah. Yeah. Why do people love, people love, whenever you see someone had one, you're like, dude, fuck, man. Bummer.

Bummer. My kids were five. Where's your puka shells? They liked it. Yeah. When your child just learns about the world. It's just not a good piece of art. I'm sorry. Adults think it's wonderful.

The best dream catcher sucks. Yeah. Right? You notice everyone that The best dream catcher sucks. Yeah. Right? You notice everyone that has a dream catcher hasn't caught one dream yet? They're fucking... Dude, it's true. It's a dream thief. It steals dreams.

Yeah, it catches them, but you don't fucking get them, dummy. If you were in a girl's house, imagine if you were single, and after all this conversation, the girl you dreams, go to her house, she's got a goddamn dream catcher over the bed, and you're like, fuck. She's got a goddamn dream catcher over the bed. And you're like, fuck. She's perfect in every single way. Every other way. But she believes in astrology, and she has a dream catcher. It was so right.

It was exactly who I am. It said I was smart and creative and gifted and that I'm beyond generous to my friends, which is totally true she wants you to rub uh what is it crystals or gems in your hand before you fuck she's like can you roll these in your wrists before we get they will they will match your intentions they'll change colors if you're really your true self be me i'll be you bro how often when you when somebody goes what's your astrological sign i'm always like like, oh, get the fuck away from me. Yeah, but I am a Leo

and Leos are supposed to be kind of douchey in a little bit of a way. Oh, well. They're very aggressive. What does it all mean? Aren't Leos supposed to be like confident or something like that?

I think it's all bullshit. I'm a Libra. Does that mean I'm like every fucking guy born in October? That's absurd. You are. You should all get together and form a fucking club.

October buds. You'd be the Libra boys and then you would get banned from Facebook for being racist. Libra boys. It'd be all Libra Boys. And then you would get banned from Facebook for being racist. Libra Boys. It'd be all white guys. It'd be like the new Proud Boys. It's the Libra Boys.

By the way, I can't wait for Sober October for me to keep drinking. I want to come on the show and have a drink just to watch you guys battle nonsense. I don't know what we're going to do.

Whatever you do, I'm still not going to be sober. It's my birthday month. I can't fuck with that shit. Well, the real problem is the time commitment. Like, I have too many goddamn podcasts. I have't fuck with that shit. Well, the real problem is the time commitment. Like, I have too many goddamn podcasts. I have podcasts that are booked all the way up to then.

And I know there's going to be a lot of shit I have to do. Yeah. I can't dedicate too much time. I can't do what I did last year. Let's do the Snickers challenge. I think that's the best way to do it. Ooh. Let's do it.

What if you do a different kind of challenge? I'm only joking about that. I know, but what about a different kind of challenge? I'm not willing to do that. I would tap out first. I'd be like, you guys keep your fucking shitty headaches. I'm going to go have a salad. We're going to just do a deep fake.

Someone do a deep fake of Joe eating Snickers. Just fucking making it phony. I'm doing it. That was the other thing. We had an idea of who could read the most books, the most pages. But the problem with that is Bert would go, I'm going to read it, read it, read it, read it. He'd just pound through all the pages. Number one, Joe! He can't read. But the problem with that is Bert will go, read it, read it, read it, read it. He'll just pound through all the pages. Number one! He can't read. But he'll lie. Look, I asked him if he could

do the split. He goes, yeah. Can you do the split? I go, I can do the split. He goes, do it. So I did this basically. I was like an inch off the ground. And he's like, oh, you can really do it? So he went to do it. He's like, he couldn't do it at all. He's not even remotely flexible. It's not like there was a time in his life where he could do the split. But here he is, 44 years old, faking he could do the splits. I'm like, what are you doing, Bert? Why would you lie about that? He might seem like a guy that could do the splits.

For a guy that's been sitting on dick for that many years, I figured he could do the splits. You know what I mean? For bouncing on so much cock, I'm surprised Bert doesn't do the splits. He's just a funny dude. You could tell he can't do the splits. I can't let that happen. No, fuck that. Can't let that well i'm gonna i want to be invited so i can sit with jamie and have a drink and get get high and while you guys do sober shit it has to be some sort of a legitimate test but it can't it just can't be too involved i just i can't do it anymore yeah get me

and jamie in one of those bubbles so we can just get high and drunk and roll all right yeah give me the bubbles bitch this is the new feature of the joe rogan i know it's the bubble machine first featured on the duncan trussell podcast number 1313 it was duncan's request that he be on that spiritual number spiritual numbers are really important it's really spreading around have you ever used acupuncture acupuncture i have i love it is it legit it's legit as fuck i love it interesting it's wonderful they say it's legit as fuck I love it interesting it's wonderful they say it's legit you've never done it?

no fuck you would love it but I did it with a dude who did some he just was a little weird he wanted you to drink certain herbs and shit and he couldn't tell you why

no I just went to a I just went to a I just went to a fucking dope acupuncturist and got it done and it's great my face fucked me up

I didn't like my face was fucking me up that scared me all over your face yeah a little time everywhere no no in your sinuses about your eyes boop boop like in your sinuses if they could fix your eyes if you can make your eyes 20 vision like maybe it was slipping i'm 1920 i think what if it got to like 40 40 50 50 sick sorry getting tired then i can see shit through three feet of ice is the opposite or the other way

what is it like no 8.8 is like the most insane vision ever like is it the smaller number at second

is the better vision yeah so I'm saying 50-50 bro you'd be blind as fuck I'm 50-50 but it all they can fix it

but you gotta keep your eyes open like that movie Clockwork Orange prop your eyes open and just acupuncture the shit out of your eyeballs. So all you're looking up, all you see is these spears coming out of your eyeballs. Dude, there's people that get tattoos on their fucking eyes.

Have you seen that shit? They get them on the whites of their eyes? You did a bad thing. Bad person. Dumb person. Tattoo your fucking eyeballs, dude. I see something like that. Mail in your life form.

I imagine being that guy's dad. Imagine being his friend. But his dad, like you raised a boy and whatever happened, whether it is a chemical imbalance or whatever happened, what happened? Was it abuse? I don't know what happened. Well, for sure something. Something happened.

People are fucked. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That guy in San Diegogo i was telling you about that a man threw sandals at me this weekend at my show yeah what happened i called him sandal steve so this is the most there's two embarrassing parts of the of this story for this man the show the sunday show was fucking phenomenal in san diego it was so fucking dope we sold out the weekend and then sunday show was incredible everyone's having a good time I'm joking around

at the end of my show very end about people in San Diego think wearing sandals with jeans is appropriate and I was like that's just

that's San Diego it's like button down but I have sandals on it's like douchebags fucking have their toes out but wear like pants and some guys are like

hey I'm like let me guess you're wearing jeans with sandals and he brings up a sandal and I'm like alright sandal Steve sandal Steve's everybody and he goes my name, hey. I'm like, let me guess. You're wearing jeans with sandals. And he brings up a sandal. And I'm like, all right, Sandal Steve. Sandal Steve's everybody. And he goes, my name is Steve. And I was like, this fucking guy.

This fucking guy. Did you record this set? No. And I fucking wish. What? That was the only one I didn't fucking record. Of course. That's the universe.

Of course. It's pissing in your mouth. So I turn to the left. And this dude throws a fucking, I see it out of the corner of my eye. Oh, my God. But when the sandal hit the curtain, actually, in La Jolla, they have the old Comedy Store sign. Do you know that? They brought that down, the old neon.

Oh, wow. Yeah, they have the old neon now. It hit the neon, and I was like, dude, what the fuck was that shit? And it kind of, you know when something doesn't register? Because I was like, no way. What if he broke the neon? Dude, bro, murder. So I turn, and then as I'm turning, another sandal gets tossed on stage.

Not thrown, but like tossed. And I immediately, I was like, wait, what the fuck? And he's going like this. Hey, bro. And the fucking staff is coming up and grabbing this fucking moron. And two dudes are standing up in the audience ready to like swing. People were like, it was a commotion. And I was like, what the fuck? And he goes, I'm just kidding around just kidding around we're kidding around and they were like get the fuck out dude get and he goes come on man i'm a big fan i go dude get the fuck out

you can't throw shit at me get the fuck out of here so they remove the dude but the best part or the most unfortunate part is it's his daughter's 21st birthday and she's a big fan right your shithead dad threw sandals at your fucking so of course if she's listening i love you thanks for being a fan sorry your dad is a fucking moron and threw his sandals at us because that's how you get kicked out that's uh dude he threw them at my fucking head he it missed my head by like a foot and he thinks i'm just kidding around like no dude it's not funny you don't throw sandals you can't throw sandals at people you can't you can't throw shit at people

no you can't throw shit and the poor girl man i've never seen someone so embarrassed she was getting her purse and shit and she's like you know like wavering through the crowd and the son is like can i get back his sandals and i was like get the fuck out it doesn't usually happen someone rare rare you gotta you gotta do some dumb shit it does happen hey man this guy got kicked out the improv yeah he was heckling everybody and then when i got on stage i mean he was just so loud and they just grabbed him and i go dude you gotta shut the fuck up man what are you like what are you doing what are you doing this is ridiculous you know you're interrupting and they just grabbed him and the lady who was in front of him was who's

his girlfriend go they're kicking him out he goes sir was in front of him who's his girlfriend go they're kicking him out they go sir you're gonna leave she looks at me and she goes did you do this

I go did I do that no bitch I go this is your fucking problem this is your life in a nutshell you were here with him you saw what happened

yeah you saw me tell the guy what the fuck are you doing man then you saw the staff kick him out then you asked me did kick him out then you asked me did i do this but you know i didn't do this you did this joe he did this no you did this but

imagine the kind of enabling where you're right next to the guy who's yelling out stupid shit interrupting the show you're watching the staff come over you're watching this guy get kicked out and she looks at me like did you do this did i do this you gotta get your life in order lady hey clean your room clean your room clean your fucking room bitch that's your problem it was so crazy i was like you saw you were here with me yeah but the crowd was going apeshit but they think it's your fault here those two people she thought it was my fault everybody else thought it was hilarious but the rest the rest of the crowd is so angry at them Because it's so indicative of what we know to be true

About certain people There are certain people that blame everyone else Except themselves Always When you're watching a guy who says He loves you He's ruining the fucking show Don't come to a show if you can't keep

Your fucking Your Tourette's in check check you just want to scream shit out and just be acknowledged it's crazy you're ruining the whole show this sounds fake the same show the Sunday show I was we were joking around how crazy it was in the middle of a setup I'm about to tell a fucking setup and a guy goes Santino what's your favorite thing about San Diego? And I was like, what? What? And he goes, I'll just. And everybody, boo.

I mean, everyone's lighting him up because they were like, is this. Some people get so excited sometimes. And I don't. I love. Dude was a nice dude. It was just like, bro. Yeah. You got to know the rules of the thing.

You can't just do it. He's been out by the beach too much There's those guys That it's too much salt air and too much sun And they're cooked You know how if you're gonna smoke a piece of fish If you put your hand in there It doesn't even seem like you would do anything

You seem like you'd be fine Like you'd live there forever But you can't After like 4 or 5 hours you become a smoked piece of fish. Right? That's what happens to those dudes' brains. Smoked fish. A certain amount of those guys' brains that are always by the beach, they don't drink

enough water. Yeah. They just get old and leathery. Right. Oh, the leather thing is gross. Their brain's leathery. Yeah. You see them on the outside, they look leathery?

Their brain looks like that, too, man. Right? I'm not a doctor. They're smoked. They're smoked. And they come to the show They're slowly smoked Hey man fuck you Hey bro

I just wanted to help out I just wanted to help out I fucking love you dude I just wanted to help out Two by the way I had a bunch of Mexican fans I love my Mexican fans Showed up in San Diego

And all these dudes After the show were like You want us to fuck that dude up dog The fucking sandal dude I was like Hey man I'm not gonna You do whatever you want to do.

Don't. Not right now. Don't ask Mexicans to beat up white people right now. It's a bad time. I'm imploring all Mexicans to beat up Mexicans. All this wall talk,

they'll throw in a few extra shots. Mexicans should beat up everybody. Beat up everybody, Mexicans. That's Sandra Santino saying that. They might have my favorite food. Period. I've been thinking about this. I think...

Mexicans the best. Not my favorite food well here's the thing honestly it really varies like sometimes my favorite food is steak sometimes my favorite food is italian but my favorite food when i know i probably shouldn't be eating it but i want to eat it anyway is like a lengua quesadilla from a real mexican joint like that place i've taken you guys to the one that there's a joint in the valley you go there they have mexican um uh soap operas on tv those girls the big tits and the red dresses always right yeah and everyone in there is like locals they're like a bunch of dudes who are getting off work who know about it's like a real

small hole in the wall type place everyone speaks spanish 100 everything's written in spanish the food is off the fucking charts dude it's off the charts it you get lengua quesadilla bro with the spicy sauce don't want to put that meat is in there lengua tongue lengua tongue yeah beef tongue it's beef tongue yeah it's sensational dude it's it's so good. I'm going. Get one of those. They have all kinds of tacos. Oh, my God. What's your death row meal, then? Is Mexican in your death row meal?

It's not eaten before I go. Fuck all that bullshit. Really? Yeah, if you're going to kill me, you want me to have a good time eating lobster first? Fuck you. I'm eating death row meal for sure. I'm not eating shit. I'm eating all of that shit. I'm just thinking of trying to take one guy out when he tries to get me from the jail.

That's all my concentration is on. Come get me, bitch. I'm eating. If you're going to kill me, come on, man. I'm not eating a lobster. Well, I'm not going to eat a fucking lobster. I'm trying to figure out a way to kill you. If they're trying to kill you, you're trying to figure out a way to kill them?

I'm taking somebody. Just one guard gets murdered. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good way out. I'll fuck up one guard. Don't you think you would be thinking that way? No. They're going to drag you to your...

Unless you did something horrific and you want to die and you know you're terrible. But what if you were wrongfully accused? If you're wrong... If I'm wrongfully accused and I'm on death row, I'm trying to kill somebody. Or you kill yourself when they get to you. Yeah. Yeah, but how do you? It's so hard in jail.

They make it real hard. They keep things from you that you could kill yourself with, which is horrific. Yeah, they put you in just a room. Because the problem is you could kill somebody else

with it, right? They left some wire with fucking handles on it. You're not going to turn that in, right? That's going to get passed around. Some dudes are going to die.

Yeah, but I do think, though, if death row's coming up on you, you're thinking a lot differently. Yeah. You're not thinking about killing the guards. You're thinking about fucking... What? Please, God. People find God when they're about to die.

You do. You do. But the way to avoid those horrific thoughts is to plan a murder. Just think, like, how fast can I get to one of these guys before they can pile up on me. Think about what it would take though to get to that place when you're like, that's it. I'm going to have to fucking just kill everyone I see. Jesus. Because I'm done.

That's always like the appeal of a show like The Punisher. Like the comic book. They always did a shit job with that Fucking comic book I mean I heard The Punisher on Netflix was good I didn't see that But the movies They had a Dolph Lundgren movie And he didn't even have real stubble

It's the dumbest shit of all time Because by the way This is before HD They faked his beard They faked his stubble And obviously fake Obviously Was it coffee grounds?

It looked so bad. It looked like a bad stipple. Like they took a wet sponge and dipped it in some dirt and rubbed it on his face. And they pretended that it was a five o'clock shadow. I mean, whoever the fucking makeup artist was, they should have got the fucking Academy Award for parody. Worst shit ever. But it's almost like they made it a comedy. It's almost like they know this movie's a piece of shit.

And they're going to make the makeup so bad and so dumb looking. Hey, that's us. That's almost like they know this movie is a piece of shit and they are going to make the makeup so bad and so dumb looking. Hey, that's us. They're going to make the makeup looking so dumb that nobody believes it's real. Close it up on it. Look how young he is there, Dolph. It's not clear. That's why I think it's not in HD.

God damn. Dude, it looks so fake. It's hard to tell. No, but you can see. If, it looks so fake. It's hard to tell. That's very blurry. No, but that is... But you can see. If you watch the actual movie... Did you Google Dolph Lundgren fake stubble?

No, not Punisher. I just did Punisher just so we could see pictures from it. I didn't want to have anything doctored up. Okay, just write Dolph Lundgren Punisher fake stubble. Just try that. Fake stubble. Can we have that... Maybe nobody noticed this but me.

Can we have that Mike special anymore Where is that Where is it There is Oh the Mike Tyson special Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Let's have some more

There was a close up I remember there was a close up He was like lying down I was like this is so fake Well I mean right there You can tell That looks like shit It's hard to tell

Like I remember watching on TV Going what What is this That looks bad Right there Oh right there. There you go. There you go.

Perfect. It's smudged. Stringy sideburns coming down. Yeah, dude. He just dusted his face with some dirt, it looks like. It's like when a- Exactly. You know what that's like?

That's what I'm talking about. When a kid in junior high is trying to get facial hair for the first time. He's got a stiver. Accentuates it. Yeah. I've been thinking of rocking a police mustache. Fuck you. No way. Really? I'm not. You've got to you gotta get a bushy one though it's got to be bushy you gotta get a real bushy one yeah how about one like mike beltran when i roll up the fucking the hairs grow long you gotta get like

wolford brimley you know you gotta get like you know mike beltran is you know i'm talking about no he's one of the top mma referees oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I've seen that dude. His mustache comes down like this, like Cinderella's hair. Yeah, he's got like handlebars. Handlebars. Big old jacked dude, too, with crazy-ass mustache. You wouldn't fucking do a mustache. Maybe I'll do one like that. There's Mike Peltran.

Look at that shit. Yeah, that's tight. You have to grow that mustache for decades. How long does it take to grow a mustache like that? Forever But braiding it kind of I mean dude Come on

Would you get an extension added to it So you could skip some time? That's bullshit I wouldn't lie like that I'd wear last extensions Someone has to have done that Your weave Your fucking mustache weave

Yeah Maybe someone's done that I would imagine Maybe for a movie or something like that Oh it's right over here That's what I did Oh yeah The mustache weave

it's a look right but at a certain point in time i would imagine you become like prisoner to that look yeah that's who you are then forever yeah like like like i've had a beard for as long as i can remember and so now if i shave it i'm fucked you can't i can't shave this worried about it it's kind of strange that I can never get away from it now. This is it. I didn't think about it until you brought it up. You've never seen me without a beard. Who's this cat?

This is the, I remember playing in a band with this guy, and I'm pretty sure part of this is fake. You played in a band with this guy? Yes. Hey, throwing him under the bus? Not in his band, but my band played with them. We opened up for this as a singer for Mudvayne. Part of it is not real, but part of it is real.

He does have a really long one, but I remember seeing it up close, and it was like a rope or something. God damn, it's crazy how long you can grow a fucking beard. Yeah, that's absurd. Why do you think that exists? Why does hair on the head grow so long? Why does hair on the face grow to those lengths? It doesn't seem like it'd be useful.

Well, why would nature do that? Yeah. Why would we need it? Because arm hair doesn't grow that long. It doesn't need to need to anymore right but why does beard hair grow long and arm hair stops well i think it's i think it's probably because uh isn't that weird though well that's like you know you know you know the crown of the head hair you know this head hair here like yes this will never ever fall out it's it's genetically biologically uh the hairs will never fall out on this crown that's right When you see someone

Anybody that says complete bald Still here will have hair I'm right here You have to have hair right here though Forever That is weird But like What I don't understand is like

Why can the hair on your head Grow so long And the hair on your beard Grow so long But your arm hair and leg hair Is always the same length But your pubes can get Rather unruly

Jamie Start to trim You fucking filthy cunt Your pubes can get out ofruly. Jamie, start to trim, you fucking filthy cunt. Your pubes can get out of control. Your pubes get out of control, Jamie. I will say. Can I say atrocious? Atrocious.

They get fucking repulsive. It's also a different kind of hair. Yeah. It's like. Pube hair is weird. Yes, yes. Worse. It's angry.

Yeah, angry. It's like protective hair. It's like, you know what it is? It protects you from filthy pussy. It's like, imagine if there's a reason It protects you from filthy pussy. It's like, imagine if there's a reason for it. Is there a reason

why pube hairs are so thick? Google that. What could that fucking be? Why is it so weird? I was thinking it's like the

thick shield around a wild boar's face. They have a thick shield. Before thick comes up is why is it curly? Why is it curly? Why is it curly? Why is it curly?

Imagine if it wasn't. Straight dick hair? Imagine if he went down on a girl and her pussy hair was like a wig. Like, what is this? All stringy and crazy. She has it parted. You're like, what is happening here? A left hair parted pussy?

It's braided like my Beltran's beard. This is a dumb picture. What? They used to describe this. It says that it helps prevent friction, both being coarser and thicker and curly and all that. Friction? Listen, not the way I fuck. What does that even mean, friction?

If you're trying to start a fire. Skin on skin, so you don't get a skin rash. Yeah, but how much hair is on your cock? Both hairs. It's like rubbing Velcro against each other, I suppose. That's funny. It just sticks. If you were on meth and Viagra and you were in the desert, do you think you'd start a fire?

Do you fuck so hard you could start a fire? Oh, no. There's no water in the air. Yeah, you're starting a fire. If you're rubbing hard enough. You're on meth and fucking you listen to Slayer. Fuck! Woo!

and a slayer. Fuck! Woo! I think that's better than the stick rolling. How about the fiddle? Yeah, the fiddle bow. Yeah, the bow. The bow way.

Have you ever started a fire like that? I've had to try at a camp, at a summer camp. We had to do this one, we had to do a bow one, and then we had to do... The wiggle one

with your fingers is ridiculous. What's this one? The flint one. Yeah, flint snapping. That's the much more likely one yeah that happens yeah but this shit this bullshit is so fucking hard it's hard so hard i got to the point where it was burnt like it was black like it looked like but it wouldn't catch i smelled it i was pretty close but i think when i did it i don't know when i did it but I'm pretty sure I was like pre-teens. Yeah, when you first start those things?

I think I was Boy Scouts when I was doing that. You did Boy Scouts? I did Boy Scouts. For how long? One year. How long did you do Boy Scouts? Yeah. How long?

You seem like a long time. Yeah. I didn't make it to Weeblow or whatever. Weren't strong enough, huh? It was boring, bro. Dude, I got fucking kidnapped almost by these criminals, these little kids. I went to Boy Scouts in Jamaica Plain, Boston. Jamaica Plain is like a suburb of Boston.

Not really a suburb. It's part of the city. Isn't there one in New York, too? Jamaica Plain? Jamaica, Queens. Jamaica, Queens. That's right. Jamaica Plain in Boston is more gentrified now.

The white people are spreading out. And there was white people there spreading out and there was white people there everywhere when I lived there too but they were like angry Irish people who will punch you in the face

I wasn't used to being around people like that I lived in San Francisco and then I lived in Florida and then all of a sudden I lived with these like

really wild people man what was my point what were what were we just talking about that led me this? About Jamaica. What? Right before that.

About why you're talking about the angry Boston people? Yeah. What was it? A lot. I know you just asked me a question, too. I can't remember what it was I answered. I had a point. I had a significant point.

I completely lost it. So we were talking about angry people. Fire. Building a point. I had a significant point. I completely lost it. We were getting... So we were talking about angry people. Fire. Building a fire. Yeah, building a fire. And Boy Scouts. Oh, Boy Scouts. That's what it was.

So I went to camp with these fucking kids that lived in this really tough neighborhood. And there was a lot of Puerto Rican kids and a lot of Italian kids. And there was Irish kids. It was all ethnicities, but it was basically low-income people. It was the first time I was ever around kids that were legitimately dangerous. When I lived in Florida, we were around alligators and shit.

We used to go into the swamps. We'd find snapping turtles. I lived there for a couple years. But it didn't seem dangerous in terms of the kids that I was interacting with. Then all of a sudden, I was in Jamaica playing and they were dangerous kids. Tough-ass kids.

They were tough-ass kids. And I didn't know. I'd never had sex. And I didn't know what way a penis goes in. I didn't know it goes up. I didn't even consider it. But this kid, his name was Pauly Hudson. He lived right next to me.

He shamed me. He goes, you probably don't even know that a dick goes up in a pussy. Fuck. He's right. I was like, he does 11 I was like really I was trying to like figure out how that would work I was like oh I guess I wasn't 11 I was 13 13 was when I lived in Boston but I was like what okay I get up Wow you could have said that nicer I was like yeah you get it said Did you know That it goes up You don't know

Every other kid That I had ever encountered Probably would have said Hey did you know That when you have sex It doesn't go straight in Because when you think About having sex

You would think Your penis would go Straight forward Yeah You think your dick Goes like this You think it would go like that You'd never think

You would go up You're like Oh of course Why else would boners Be like that Right It wouldn't make sense to do it you'd have to hold them down to get them into the proper position okay no anyway i went to

fucking boy scout camp with these criminals and dude the first night the first night they tied this kid up and they he was sleeping he was soundly asleep and he was a little annoying but either way they tied this kid up On his bed He had a little cot And they dragged him Into the woods And it was dark as fuck It was New Hampshire woods You don't see anything man

No lights There was no moon out So I mean You couldn't see your fucking hand In front of your face I had never experienced that before Damn And I was 13

So in all my life as a person I had never been in a place where i couldn't see my hand and i was outside going this is insane because we were like this boy scout camp was by a lake way the fuck up in new hampshire and what they see in their city criminal kids and they bring them out to the forest and they leave him there and then they came for me man but i woke up and i was like fuck you and they're like fuck you guys i'll fuck you and then they took this other guy like they left me alone i just did i gave up on all the activities i i was awake when i heard that kid like mumble and shit and i saw them carrying away i was like these guys are strapping this guy down to a cot with what do they have i

don't remember they did something i do not remember but i remember the other kid they put toothpaste all over his clothes apparently when you put toothpaste like toothpaste does not wash out good especially in 19 whatever the fuck it was what was i 13 so it's 19 49 79 i think yeah say 80 79 80 81 i was 14 yeah so it's that age 80 ish and they're like these little fucking crooks i was out in the woods with these kids, and we had bows and arrows and 22 rifles. You would hear ricochets, man. We would be over by the lake, because me and this other kid, who was also this kid, we called him Onion. We went by the lake.

I think it was him. Is this a Theo Vaughn story? I might be wrong. No, no, this is a real story. No, I mean, we called him Onion, man. But this other kid who decided to skip out on it. No one cared if you were engaging in all their activities. No, I mean, we called him Onion, man. There's another kid who decided to skip out on it. No one cared if you were engaging in all their activities. No one cared.

Right. Literally, I'm telling you, no one was watching us. I was 13. We just grabbed fishing rods, and we went where the lake was. We knew where the lake was. Like, all these kids would get together, and they were doing archery and rifle practice, and you're hanging out there with a bobber in the water. And you hear, pew!

You hear ricochets. You hear fucking ricochets. They let these kids have guns. They let these fucking kids have.22s. And it's a weird noise. Like, when you think of a gun, you think of a boom. Yeah. But a.22 is like crack, crack.

It's like crack, crack. It doesn't feel like it would hurt. It sounds like a whip. Yeah. It's like. It's not as threatening as the actual action of getting hit by a bullet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It will kill you. It doesn't sound like what it is.

People kill people with.22s. A.22 will fucking kill you. But it just seemed like you can't be around these kids They were just all animals Were you happy that you did Boy Scouts Or no Was that fun for you I did one year

Nobody did anything to me Nobody molested me I feel like I got off light You got molested Jamie I got out No how dare you Four years Catholic school bro

That's where that happened That was years later Yeah You know what though I always think about that You know I went to Catholic school When I was a kid kid And then Never again And I what, though? I always think about that. I went to Catholic school when I was a kid kid, and then never again, and I never got molested.

I always think that maybe I wasn't cute enough or something like that. Was that- Wah, wah, wah. I just found out. Looking something up online where I'm from in Columbus, some list just got released of a bunch of priests that have been either accused and found out that whatever happened, some are still alive, some aren't. I looked through the list and found someone that was a priest at my school no yeah and i don't know that any no no nobody i know said they've been touching anything like

that but like blew my blew all of our minds like holy shit it's gross that shit is fucking gross how much you know how it's one of the weirdest things You can just connect a thing That's a horrific act to a church Like that's one thing That you just can do Catholic, church, catholic, priest Pedophile You can just say that

That's peanut butter and jelly bro How crazy is it That the peanut butter to your jelly Is fucking kids? Could you imagine? Yeah, and kids love peanut butter and jelly. If you see a jar of jelly, you think, oh, if I had some peanut butter and some bread, I'd make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

You see a priest, you're like, oh. That guy fucks kids. He fucks kids. Isn't that weird? That's so- You'll never get away from that. That is crazy. Just trying to teach the word of the Lord, man.

Sure you are, dude. How crazy is that. You'll never get away from that. Just trying to teach the word of the Lord, man. Sure you are, dude. How crazy is that? It'll go away at some point. No, it will not. No, it will not. As long as you let those people keep doing what they're doing, it will not. Yeah, that's just gross. You know, the fucking Pope himself at one point, that guy, that Bratzinger, at one point

in his life, he was involved in moving people around. Dude, they said he was wanted for crimes against humanity. That's so fucked. There's a documentary that shows that he let these people go,

let this one guy go, rather, and moved him to another parish where he molested a hundred deaf kids. Oh. Dude. Jesus Christ. That's so so shit it's pure evil it's pure evil and what's most fucked up about it it's evil that's coming to people that are looking for god yeah gross right like the people that's why people get mad when you talk shit about the

catholic church because there's a lot of great people that are parishioners. Yeah, not everyone is a shithead. No, the people that are actually going to the church are the good people. Right, right, right, right, right. And there's people that are good priests. They do exist. Yeah, not everyone's bad. But the number that are bad is insane. A hundred deaf kids, huh?

The number's insane. Did you ever see the documentary Hear New Evil? No. Did I? Speak New Evil? Does it speak New Evil? Which one's it? it's on my itunes i can i can pull it up pull that shit up baby i'll pull that shit up um but it's a horrific

documentary speak speak no it's a horrific deliver us from evil deliver us from evil god damn we got three different titles which one do you like better deliver us from i think they nailed it i think they got it right. It's a terrible documentary in terms of the way it makes you feel. It's a very good documentary, but it makes you feel terrible. That reminds me of, did you watch The Devil

We Know? Which one's that? Did we talk about that? Which one's that? The Devil We Know is about 3M and Teflon. Oh, do you not know about that shit? No. Oh, bro. Watch.

Teflon is in 99.99% of the world's blood. They had to go all the way back to the Korean War to find out Teflon not in someone's blood. What? Fact. Teflon. Teflon. Like cooking ware? The Devil We Know, bro.

Watch this fucking documentary. The chemistry cover-up. Did you ever Google The Devil we know debunked? No. Me neither. This? But no, that's what I always do. Oh, debunked?

No. Well, watch this shit. It'll give you some insights heavy to what's really going on. But even though I'm not doubting them, every time I look at anything like this now, I write debunked and I put it into Google. Just to find out. And I find out, i find out is there

any credible sources sure and i don't necessarily automatically agree with them but are there any credible sources that have any indication you're trying to find them see if there's a balance to it so i've just said too many things that are not true well because nothing comes up when i type that in there's a story in the la times that comes up what does it say variety the devil we know review la times says should we be scared of say variety the devil we know review la times says should we be scared of teflon and sundance documentary blah blah dude in this documentary there's a farmer that lives down this down the road from where and this is 40 years ago 50 years ago where 3m was making teflon right and he was complaining to them well the water source wasn't

supposed to be polluted they lied they put they put their their runoff in his water cows had fucking like blue teeth and shit their eyes would turn different colors dude he was like he kept complaining but they pushed this they pushed him down like shut the fuck up shut the fuck up until he went away and then this documentary explores how other people have tried to tell his story but no one gave a shit that teflon was killing at such a rapid rate before you before i forget this hold that thought real quick can you please go because i keep forgetting this can you please google that um water bottles in target and other stores were found with uh arsenic no yeah holy shit levels of arsen Unhealthy levels of arsenic. Jamie, you're so good at one-hand typing.

It's fucking absurd. Wizard. Bottle, water, brand, found. It's NBC. Okay, yesterday. News, yeah. What does it say? I can't type with two hands.

Jamie can type with five. He types better than I do. I'm like this. I'm like searching Peck and shit. Oh, these goddamn pop-up windows. Hey, fuck off. Get the fuck out of here. NBC News, don't be a dick.

Fuck out of here, NBC News. Bottle, water. What does it say, Jimmy? I don't know. Bottle water brand found to have high levels of arsenic pulled from stores. What the fuck? What brand in particular? Oh, okay. Here it is.

Penafiel bottled water sold at Target and Walmart. What? That's a fancy name. Keurig. Oh, right. Dr. Pepper. Yeah, because they merged, huh? The brand said Penafil

Unflavored mineral spring waters Are involved in the market withdrawal They wrote a statement They're voluntarily pulling the product Which is sold at Target and Walmart So maybe like the manufacturer Had some fucking weird shit in their water I guess

High levels of arsenic Long term exposure to high levels of arsenic Drinking increased risk for diabetes Sure high blood pressure Right but they don't say What's the level of arsenic in it right well what does high level mean what would that is how much is okay for us to have they're already they're allowed to have 10 parts per billion in there and it must have exceeded it must have exceeded it how much is too much how much would you snort off someone's dick 100 pounds per billion or free zero parts

per billion just show me a dick, bro. I mean, how much are you willing to snort if you tell me that it's not... If you tell me arsenic's not bad for you, how much will you snort? Tell me, man. I'll cut it up with B12. I snorted out my dick. That's fucking insane, by the That there was They were selling shit That has

Arsenic Well they didn't know I mean it just looks like water That's the problem with water It looks like water Like you can get weird shit In water If you leave it in a

Hot car Do you know that? Like your water bottle Water bottles Yeah they're really bad You buy a bottle of water You don't know what the fuck Happened to that bottle

Before you It's like a Adopted dog Somebody could have been Kicking that thing Leaving it out in the sun By the time you get it man It's damaged

Who the fuck knows what's in there In terms of like diseases You can legitimately have water bottles That leak PCBs They leak some sort of estrogen Mimicking chemical Really? Yeah

Did you see the shit with Justin Trudeau In the water bottle? Did you see that today? What did he do? Put it up his butt? It wasn't today but yeah Did he put it up his butt? I saw it today Did you see the shit with Justin Trudeau in the water bottle? Did you see that today? What did he do? Put it up his butt? It wasn't today, but yeah. Did he put it up his butt? I saw it today.

Did you see it earlier? Yeah, yeah. Justin Trudeau was asked about how he and his family are doing a better job at not using plastics, and his response is so shit fucking awful. He can't get it out. He's like, we're using, listen to this fucking, this made me laugh so hard. Plastics. We- Wait, rewind it. Plastics. We...

Wait, rewind it one more time. Go to the beginning. You and your family do to cut back on plastics. We have recently switched to drinking water bottles out of... Water out of... When we have water bottles out of plastic... Sorry. Away from plastic towards paper.

You're fired! You're fired! No! Listen to me. I don't care how tired you are. No! Water out of a- Do you imagine if somebody asked me a question like that about my job?

If you asked me a question like that about my job, imagine if somebody said, hey, Joe, what do you think could be done to stop head trauma in MMA? And I'd be like, well, we could conceivably, there's not much, but we could pad the elbows. We could pad the knees. We could. I would have a thought. I would have fucking thought that shit through. He didn't think that shit through at all. And he was also thinking about getting caught in a lie I have plastic everywhere

I gotta get home Burn the plastic He called his wife on the limo on the way home Burn the plastic Burn it all They're coming for us All the plastic They go into the house

There's not a fucking bottle in the house It's all plastic Everything's plastic No glass They throw away their forks with every meal They stick them in a sea monkey cage and feed them to turtles. Fuck you. Justin Trudeau's house is made of plastic.

His whole house is plastic, everything. You know what he does? He collects those little things that six-packs come with, and he just chucks them in the ocean for a laugh. He goes to a lake and just puts a bunch of fucking duck killers out there i heard listen if you find a male you find a legit male feminist let me let me talk to him because i've never met one every one of them i've ever met is a dude's running a scam right it's the same thing yeah yeah i love women sweeties these non-male sweeties. I'm like, okay, you're trying too hard, man.

Something's wrong. It's so obvious, man. Someone wrote online, this guy that was like, I'll stand by every woman forever. Know that. And I was like, this fucking guy. What are you saying? That guy's going to stalk you. Cuck.

He's going to stalk you. Yeah. His words sound like a normal person's words. But you just have to have a deep vocabulary of crazy. That is only that word. Those combination of words in that circumstance only exists from the mind of a crazy man. Yes. Normal people don't fucking say that shit.

No. Nope. No, no, no, sir. No. It's super important to tell those guys no. No. That's why this whole incel thing, you know about incels. Yes what to do what to do What to do what to do no one wants to fuck him. What do you do? What do you do get your shit together?

Okay, I went through a six month dry spell when I was 19 and the first time I had sex with a girl after that I Came immediately it was depressing I stuck in it like yikes The first time I had sex with a girl after that, I came immediately. It was depressing. I stuck in there. I was like, yikes. It was sad. I smelled like desperation. Okay? I had very little interaction with regular people.

All I was doing was doing martial arts and training. I wasn't meeting any girls. I was meeting zero girls. And when I got together with the girls, I panicked. You were just jerking off feverishly. I know what it's like. panicked you're just jerking off feverishly um i don't remember jerking off feverishly when i was that age i went through a really fucked up time when i was uh when i was a young teenager where i thought that my desire for sex was a weakness and that i should i should avoid it who put that in your head what put that in your head

no one put that in my head i put it in my head because i was trying to figure out how to get better at martial arts yeah but something had to help that no nothing negativity nothing helped that no it's my it was pleasure the desire for pleasure was a weakness wow what the fuck yeah black no it wasn't because it was recognizing that like real pleasure the only pleasure that i had gotten up to that point was satisfaction in in being good at competition yeah when i started being good at competition i realized okay what is this is better than anything so how do i get successful again well one thing you can't do is get wrapped up in anything stupid and you have to stay mentally strong it's like why do you want pleasure like why oh i just want it feels so good i felt weak i felt like that was a weak thing

to want that's a lot of good foresight because most kids at that age that are testosterone levels through the fucking roof are like i want to get good at this thing but also oh my god i want to fuck everything that walks it was also probably it had to be flavored by the puritanical shit that i grew up i was just gonna say there has to be some dark to that. But not, I don't think so, man. Because before that, I was really into it. Right. Once I started fighting, it was like, it was also so dangerous that I was always worried

about doing something wrong and getting hit. And then maybe if I'd lived my life correctly, I wouldn't have gotten hit. Because I saw a lot of guys get kicked in the face man how many times you've been kicked in the head oh i have no idea hilarious i have zero idea a lot a bunch of times for sure a bunch of times damn i don't know never unconscious from that um never unconscious from anything i dropped from a punch in a fight i I got TKO'd. I got dropped. It was like he hit me in the jaw.

It didn't hurt, per se. It wasn't like sometimes you get hit in the body like a liver shot. It fucking hurts so bad. It doesn't matter if you're in the middle of a fight. It hurts so bad. But the jaw didn't hurt. But my legs just stopped working. They went, weep.

They just stopped. They just shut off. And they went out from under me. It was crazy. I don't think i'd ever had it happen that way before i definitely been dinged where i like wobbled yeah i like covered up and recovered i hadn't had that happen before but i never had it where i just my shit just shut off my legs just shut off dude but i was still conscious and then i was trying to get up and and I was on this fucking boingity, boingity. It just didn't work. And then he hit me a couple more times, and I fell again.

The referee stopped the fight. So that was the worst. I'd never been hit in the head. You'd never been knocked out from a kick? No. But I was always scared of it. You've been knocked out, though? No, never been knocked out.

Never once? No. Shit. No. How many concussions do you have, do you think, on record? I don't know. I have three. I. No. How many concussions do you have, do you think, on record? I don't know. I have three. I think two.

Two? One when I was a kid. I think I know I cracked my head because I have a giant scar back there above my hair transplant scar where I cracked my head on this cement sewer thing. There was like some crane. We were kids. We were running past this thing and something happened i don't remember exactly happened but it involved falling and something slipping and something

hitting me in the head and it hit me in the head pretty fucking hard or um i didn't go unconscious but the whole world went like this yeah i remember i remember saying to the doctor that i grayed out like i grayed out but then i came back back. It was a big impact on my head. So it was that time and then the time that I got TKO'd. But then the other times in between, it was mostly just getting dinged, where you just popped and your legs give out a little bit, then you cover up. And then usually, like it's in sparring, you'll stop.

And if it's in a fight, you get a, you know, either you fall down or you get a standing eight count you know depending on if you're boxing or kickboxing whatever you're doing but in the gym you just fight in the gym guys get dinged and they go down and nobody does anything to stop it and you get back up and you're getting hit again like you really probably probably should stop the sparring but people are you know guys are fucking animals animals animals and in in a gym, when you're allowed to indulge in that sort of animal behavior, it gets encouraged, especially amongst really good guys. Right.

I had my fucking knees taken out from under me. That's how I had my first concussion. Oh, you told me about that in basketball, right? Yeah. That sounds horrible. Fell on my neck. Fell on my fucking neck. A hardwood basketball floor.

And I remember vividly two moments. One, people telling me to sit down because your natural reaction sometimes when you get knocked out like that to bounce off your head is to get back up, you know? And I could, but I was unconsciously doing it. And then I remember that, and then I remember the paramedics asking me to lie down. And I remember saying, I'm going to throw up. And I did. I threw up everywhere and passed out. Then woke up in the hospital.

I fell on my fucking neck. And then in fucking junior high, I got popped so hard. In football, I got hit so hard. My dad was like, you got your bell rung. I was listening to... Yeah, it worked. I was listening to Bo Jackson. He's on the Meat Eater podcast this week.

And he was saying he wouldn't have his kids play football. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That guy lived through hell. He has a hilarious, crazy story, of his life, but about getting the one time he got KO'd in a game, waking up and going to the wrong side, and they say, hey, motherfucker, you're on the wrong side. And then he goes over there, and then he hears a gunshot, and sees people running.

He's like, who got shot? He goes, it's halftime. He thought he was playing the wrong team. He has a hilarious story, but it's also kind of dark, man. Like he's talking about how crazy he was

in his childhood too. Did you see that documentary about him where he could shoot bow and arrow with his foot? Can he really? Did you not see that? You could show him that.

He was saying he got his shoulder replaced. This motherfucker is an athlete to a degree that's creepy. Like dual sport athletes, everyone thinks they could. Almost no one really can play both sports. No, he was incredible. He was unbelievably talented.

But yeah, there was a documentary. He's living in the woods and he was fucking, he could shoot. What was he talking about? What was I talking about him with? He could shoot a bullseye from 100 yards away with his feet thank you that's what i'm talking about i don't know that there's a video of it they must have a photo or some shit up there that's a fucking this uh well on the documentary he talks about the 69 minute mark of his 30 for 30 yeah it was a 30 for 30 that's what was i talking about him though i had a point he was telling a great story to meteor

what was it crazy life got knocked out on the. Got knocked out. Wrong side. You're talking about concussions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. About how he wouldn't have his kids play football. Play sports. Right. That's what it was. Football. Just football.

Wow. I'm like, wow. I mean, dude, football is so dangerous, dude. I lost it. Yeah, it's insanely dangerous. It's beautiful, but fuck me, it's dangerous. I mean, it's so bad. Well, it's the same thing they found in hockey.

The hits are harder than the fights. People are scared fights the hits cause more concussions oh for sure far well soccer players have problems big time they get smoked and they call it uh non-concussive uh um brain trauma the uh the goalie that just won like player of the year robin learners his name i guess he gave a really good speech about his mental health issues he's been dealing with and while he accepted his award for goalie i can't find that oh wow this just happened a bunch yeah it just happened last week he's talking about his openness to it to the whole crowd well it's a pretty good moment listen man it helps right it just is it is not a good thing to be involved with. Head trauma, if you can avoid it in life, it can possibly happen to you no matter what you do.

Anybody can have a head trauma. It could be an accident. But if you can find a way to avoid it, you probably should. But in these sports, you can't. No, you cannot. So you've got to decide whether or not you want to take that risk. I'm not ashamed to say I'm mentally ill But that doesn't mean mentally weak Wow That's a fucking dope line by the way

That is a dope line Cause I have mental illness You do you bitch You fucking asshole Get it together Give it to me Go to a mental doctor I can't show

And fix your mental illness I can't Maybe I have a vitamin for you What is it? Uh cocaine That's what fucked me up My dad was a coke addict. Thanks, man.

Sorry, bro. Now we're going full circle. Imagine if you were like a slightly overweight person who might be. Burt? More on the feminine side. Burt? And you get really mad at me like that. Burt?

No, not Burt. We're not talking about Burt. You said fat guy that's a pussy. How about a woman that doesn't exist? Love you, Burt. Someone that doesn't exist? If I, Bert. Someone that doesn't exist? If I was an overrated person who was sensitive? Super sensitive.

Would you just choose that moment to be a victim? Yeah. Would you? How would you say it? What would you say? You're cruel, Joe. Why? Because you don't respect people like me struggle.

What did you do? What did I say? You know what you said, you pig? What did I say? You fucking alpha male pig piece you can't you can't say that you just i just said something you gotta tell me jamie what did i say you hear what i said offended me pig you don't even remember tell him what i said call him a bitch for having mental illness

aren't there some bitches though right okay there's a lot of people out there that have mental illness and it's legit. There's a few bitches that are faking it. They're just bitches. Why? How come you can't say that? How come you can't say that? Because you know it's true.

It's not everyone. Yeah. But why? Look, there's some people that are just full of shit. You tell me that. That's anything, right? A lot of people are full of shit. All the grifters in the world, some aren't going to claim depressed.

Come on. They pretend to be heirs. They pretend to be heirs. They pretend to be dukes. They're not going to pretend to be depressed? That's ridiculous. When a guy is called a bitch, it means he's too weak. When a woman is called a bitch, it means she's too aggressive. Do any of us have any idea what this word even means?

That was so good. That tweet was so good. I wish I wrote it. Because that point is so good. Yeah, it's true. I'm glad she put it on Twitter so no one could steal it. It's almost like that idea. Like, that idea is, like, very poignant.

Like, that, yeah. What is that fucking word? You know? Like, pussy can be great, but it can also be weak. But a pussy can give birth. I mean, a bowling ball comes out of that thing. Pussies are always strong. Ten-pound babies come out of a pussy.

Imagine a ten-pound baby coming out of your dick, and they respect that thing.ussies are always strong 10 pound babies come out of a pussy imagine a 10 pound baby coming out of your dick and they respect that thing you know i'm saying i mean what the dicks would have more props how could the pussy be weak it's more like compliant but it's not weak like it's also desirable a pussy's not desirable it's a man when a guy says he's the opposite of desirable if a guy calls you a pussy What's the first thought? If someone's like What a pussy Oh really

Yeah Oh really Really? Yeah Yeah right So when a When a When a guy calls another guy a pussy

It's a cheap insult Meaning what? What's the depth of it? Well sometimes you're ready to fight And you just want to provoke this guy Yeah so pussy's the word Because you're a counter puncher So what you're calling a guy a great sexual object?

You fucking nice thing I want to fuck. You fucking pussy. Just letting him know we're about to get down. You nice thing I want to fuck all the time. Get over here. If you watch guys fight, half of it is talking shit to each other before you get down. Yeah, you just instigate the fight. It's not just instigating.

You're getting someone scared. You're making someone nervous. Well, you're trying to measure up your confidence level versus theirs. Who's got the most... If you can get someone nervous, though, if you can legitimately get someone nervous, you can decrease their performance by a significant margin. For sure. It gets in their head.

You can scare someone. You can be really ready to go. But you have to be really ready to go. If you're trying to scare someone, they take a swing at you. Tyson talked about it every so many competitors talked only when they would see him they get nervous of course so they would get scared and they'd fight worse because they get scared 100 everybody i mean you see that guy you're like he didn't have to talk much he he led all his performances talk you know when he the the most scary thing he ever

said the scariest thing he ever said was when he was talking how dare they threaten me how dare these mere mortals come to me with their primitive skills is it crazy that he has such a feminine voice he's the best

such a masculine dude my favorite boxer of all time to watch he fucks everybody up because the moments when he would fight would not just be

I don't want to say he's like the best boxer of all time who is? it's either Floyd Mayweather or Roy Jones Jr. in his prime. It's how you're talking. Or Sugar Ray Leonard.

Or Sugar Ray Robinson. Or Roberto Duran. That's what I mean. There's a lot of arguments. Or Muhammad Ali. Who is? A lot of boxing guys say Sugar Ray Robinson because he had so many fights. And he was so successful.

And he fought all the time. And he fought the hardest of men in a hard, hard time. Right. They were different people. But I say, if you had to make Sugar Ray Robinson fight Floyd Mayweather,

Floyd Mayweather would box him up. In their prime. He would box him up. I think. I think Floyd would box him up. But this is the argument of every sport ever, right? Every sport ever.

Who's the best at that? There is none. It's impossible. I don't think he would be technically at the level he was ferocious he was a vicious knockout puncher he threw a double left hook like it was nobody's business but floyd mayweather had a way of making guys look like they didn't belong there with him oh yeah the way he did it to canelo the way he did it to pacelo, the way he did it to Pacquiao, the way he did it to McGregor.

McGregor was, well... He's a skillful master. I went to that fight in Vegas. Yeah, I went to that fight for show, because of Showtime. And I gotta tell you, Floyd Mayweather looked like he was fighting a guy who's never fought.

Even though, you know, he's fought a ton, it's just, he was, the balance was way different. He's a master. Yeah, he's a magician too. He's a true master. just he was the balance was way different he's a master yeah he's a true magician master he makes it look simple that's what's disgusting anybody that good it looks when people used to watch like jordan you'd be like that looks fake he's a true master so brilliant and smooth and easy and simple and yeah yeah it's a it's a beautiful magic trick to

make you think it's easy it's fucking impossible what he does sugar ray robinson was a motherfucker don't get me wrong i just don't think he ever faced anybody like Floyd, because no one like Floyd existed back then, because no one like Floyd could exist unless a guy like Sugar Ray Robinson existed first. So Sugar Ray Robinson had to exist. Roberta Duran had to exist. Sugar Ray Leonard had to exist. Milton McCrory had to exist. Donald Curry had to exist. All these killers had to exist. And that way, a guy like Floyd Mayweather, who was at the tip, he figured it all

out. He saw it through. See, Robinson was a bad motherfucker, dude. He KO'd a lot of guys. But they stood in front of each other back then. Look how these guys are fighting. They're standing in front of him, and he's murking them, man. I think he was ahead of his time in a lot of ways, but he lost to Jake LaMotta, and here's my position, although it may be a controversial one.

I cannot envision a world where Jake LaMotta outboxes Floyd Mayweather. I just don't see that happening. But right now, you can't control – I mean, you can't compare eras like that. You can't. You're right. It's just too hard. You can't. It's too hard. You can't. So it's like the same way we can't do with comedians like if anybody ever asked me i always say that lenny bruce is probably the greatest of all time because he was

the first he was the guy who opened the door he was the guy who did the weird shit that we would that we do when we say ridiculous like we've done on this podcast right we say ridiculous shit and and and you make it funny and sometimes, at least, sometimes, it has a point to it and it makes you reconsider. But like,

we hear you watching Ray Robinson and Jake LaMotta. If Jake LaMotta stood like that in front of Floyd Mayweather, Floyd Mayweather would still be hitting him.

In 1946, he would still be punching him. I just, I think Ray Robinson was the best of his era for sure and he was an amazing amazing boxer

but oh fuck but I mean a lot of boxing guys are like you don't know shit about boxing you're right I don't in comparison to what I know

about MMA I know he was amazing I know he was he was like the Gene Fulmer knockout the the Jake LaMotta rematch when he had him tied up

against the ropes and he was just beating his fucking brains out. He lost to Billy Conn. He was beating Billy Conn, but he got from heat exhaustion, I think. And Billy Conn was a light heavyweight. He was a bad motherfucker, dude. He was a bad motherfucker. I just don't think you can compare Hoist Gracie to Robert Whittaker.

I think they're different animals. You know what I'm saying? Like Robert Whittaker is the current middleweight champion to Hoyce Gracie who won the UFC in UFC 1. He won in UFC 1 because Robert Whittaker of 2019 wasn't there. Yeah, but how many years ago was UFC 1? It was a long time ago. Yeah, it's so different. Nothing compared to that.

That was the 40s, man. Right. That's what I mean. Exponentially even more different. Way different. Way different. Way different. I mean, technology alone has improved so much in the way we train how to fight or train how to play sports.

But did you watch Roy Jones Jr. in his prime? I mean, I saw him fight. Dude. Yeah. Dude. Roy Jones Jr., when he was in his prime, did things that even Robinson didn't do. He would put his hands behind his back. Right.

Well, taunting and shit. And guys would move in on him and he'd kale with one punch. Right, right. And you'd be like, what? He said a bait. He would hit guys and it would look like it was an impossible matchup. Like Vinny Pazienza fought Sugar Ray, or excuse me, fought Roy Jones Jr. And Roy Jones Jr. went a full round without getting hit by a punch.

Do you know how crazy that is? Almost impossible. At a world championship level against a guy who, in Vinny Pazienza, was a multiple-time world champion. Does that happen today? No. No way. He was on another level. He couldn't maintain it.

He didn't maintain it. But you can only maintain that for so long. That's a shooting star. Right. That's a bad company song, son. Right. Look at this. This is Roy Jones Jr. I don't know why. Look at a shooting star. Right. That's a bad company song, son. Right. Look at this. This is Roy Jones Jr.

I don't know why. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. That's James Toney, by the way, that he did that, too. Dude, Roy Jones Jr. was on another planet, son. He called for the stoppage. When he started fucking up Vinny Pazienza.

Put his arm out. Dude, I'm telling you, this was like one of the beatings of all beating. You see a guy who's, at this time, probably the best ever. Look at that combination, son. Look at that combination when the referee rescues him. When Roy Jones Jr. was at his prime, everybody was like, yeah, but the guys he fought, they weren't that good. Bullshit. He was better than anybody.

He was so good. He was on such another level that he made world-class fighters look like they weren't that good. Bro, he outboxed Bernard Hopkins back then. I mean, he was on a fucking different level. By the way, Bernard Hopkins, who didn't have the same sort of

dynamic, explosive style, Bernard Hopkins was a much more solid, fundamental guy. It was a different kind of style. And Bernard Hopkins wound up beating roy as roy was on the way downhill look at him he tells this guy just ton of shit out of standing right in front of him bank he would play basketball games like full games and then fight later that day bank dude i'm telling you you had to see he was almost bored for a couple years because there

was a couple years where roy jones jr was it was just a show naz. Because there was a couple years where Roy Jones Jr. It was just a show. Nas put him in a song. He said the new Mike Tyson is Roy Jones. But hold on. You just missed the greatest one of all time. Go back to that one. Back it up. Watch this.

Watch this. Boonk. KO. Pan's behind his back. He's not even there. Pan's behind his back. This is John Ruiz. Now this is the fight that fucked him up.

This is why. He went all the way up to heavyweight to fight John Ruiz and he got to like 200 pounds if you look at him he's pretty stout then his next fight then his next fight look at that come on son but his next fight he had to fight antonio tarver and tarver's a legit world-class light heavyweight and and roy just didn't look the same it didn't look the same dropping all that weight coming back from heavyweight. And Roy just didn't look the same. He didn't look the same dropping all that weight coming back from heavyweight to fight Tarver and Tarver knocked him out. What's the weight difference that he went down to?

25 pounds. That's a lot of fucking weight. A lot of fucking weight. Especially when you're that high up. Not only that, let's be just real here. There's not a lot of ways where a man in his 30s gains 25 pounds. Well, come on. Other than...

Mexican supplements. Yeah! In my ass and then in my arm. Yeah, dude. Tarver, you know what Tarver said? You got excuses tonight, Roy? That's what he said to him before he knocked him out. When they were facing each other.

But if you look at Roy in this fight, he just does not look as good. He just did not look as good. He was more smooth. He didn't look as muscular. And Tarver was a real problem, man. Tarver's a dangerous guy. God damn. See, Roy, when you're losing that much weight to get down from 200 pounds, you're fucking

depleted, man. I don't care what anybody says. Yeah. For him to take that fight, if he's going to do it smart, he should have been fucking marathon running for like a year or something. Just try to take that fight, if he's going to do it smart, he should have been fucking marathon running for like a year or something. Just try to lose that weight. But to try to lose 25 pounds of muscle in just a few months' time, bonk, that's it right there.

That was the left hand that knocked him out. And Tarver was a world-class motherfucker back then. Tarver might have knocked him out even if they did fight without any problem. But Roy for sure had a problem. He had a real hard time making that weight. And Tarver was legit as they come. Where's he now, Roy Jones? Tarver's still fighting.

And Roy Jones Jr. just retired. Tarver's a heavyweight now. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He took some time off because he got caught with... Performance! Enhancing drugs! Ped, ped, ped. performance enhancing drugs he got caught with some shit something happened and roy jones just retired huh yes thankfully but he was willing to come out of retirement for michael b jordan what who was saying that he

could box with him because of the movie creed Oh, get the fuck out of here. And Roy was legitimately trying to set it up. Why? For publicity shit? He was like, I'm going to fuck this dude up and make a lot of money. Yeah, beat the shit out of him. What the fuck, Michael B. Jordan? But he was apparently legitimately trying to set it up. We made a video where I was telling Michael B. Jordan, please, I don't care who's talking to you.

Listen to me. Do not do this. Yeah, dude. What the fuck? Do not do this. Do not do this. And, dude. What the fuck? Do not do this. Do not do this. In your career? You have no idea how bad that guy's going to light you on fire.

He's going to light you on fire. In his worst days. And he's going to. Did you see when, it was a joke, but Justin Bieber said he wanted to fight Tom Cruise the other day. Yeah. Dana White said, fuck it, set it up. I don't know why he was joking, but like the internet ran with it.

And you know what? I would love to see that that's why he did it because he knows people would pay money that's hilarious I'd watch the fuck out of that

you wouldn't watch that fight I guess Tom Cruise was like a high school wrestling state champion or something like that was he? yeah

there's pictures of that for sure listen so why wouldn't you want to watch that that's my point he's 85 years old he just broke his ankle

he's 55 though he's 85 years old he just broke his ankle doing a movie dope and's 85 years old and he just broke his ankle doing a movie dope and he believes in warlocks I want to see him fight a fucking weirdo kid

they're both super small too I don't know how that would like it wouldn't be super interesting I met Justin Bieber when he was a young fella he came to the UFC I met him

I worked with him young we did fucking punk with that kid when he was 16 I don't know 17 I don't even know listen man that ain't a way to do it

but if you're gonna do it he's handled it as Listen, man, that ain't a way to do it, but if you're going to do it, he's handled it as good as any. Yeah. That's not a way to grow up. It's a terrible way to grow up. If anybody says they would handle that differently, they don't know

what the fuck they're talking about. Pretty fucking good job. I think what would help him, like legitimately help him, is a real struggle like jujitsu. Get into real martial arts. I don't know if he's into it.

Well, that's what I'm saying. I think he's fighting because he's training now. he i think he offered up a fight because he's learning how to train tired of people talking shit you got sick of that shit look at look at uh look at uh uh uh wiz khalifa when wiz dude wiz is jacked wiz is a super jacked super nice guy but i'm saying he used to be thin and now he's like fuck that i'm gonna jack out did you see the podcast I did with him we talked about it

yeah he just really got into it you guys you guys got baked as fuck not as baked as I did with Be Real that's the highest

I've ever been in anything Be Real, Cypher, Cell we were barbecued we were barbecued already and then we're like when we get in the car then we're gonna really smoke

I'm like no dude he does a show he does a show he does a show about putting like weed and food on vice yeah

and those motherfuckers eat endless amount of fucking weed on camera that's all they do all day they smoke joints waiting to eat

the weed food I was like this dude is legit B-Real's a Jedi he's a Jedi he didn't even flinch I tapped out like two minutes

into the car ride we're not in a car ride we're just sitting in a parked car but two minutes just sitting in a parked car. But two minutes into sitting in the parked car smoking weed, I'm like, I can't do this. I'm going to talk. If you want me to speak English, I'm going to have to fucking chill. I just put my joint down.

I'm like, I'm going to take a break here. I was so high. But those are guys that can smoke blunts to themselves. That's great. That to me is like. Don't watch movies with three lip blunts. Yo, Star Wars 1. this shit look fake as fuck. You know, what's his name?

Action Bronson does that show where he gets high and watch Ancient Aliens. I was trying to do it last season, but every time they were doing it, I was busy doing something else and I couldn't do it. Dude, he's the best. They get high and watch Ancient Aliens. That dude is the best. And they sit around on a green screen. That's a show! That's a show! But that's good TV. That's better than half of the other bullshit that's out there.

That's fun and new. Well, it's fun, for sure. Look, I mean, think about if you can have some dude showing up at garage sales trying to get the best deal, you can't have Action Bros on a green screen with his homies getting blasted. Come on, bro.

Yeah, hilarious, bro. His big body best right there. Look at his headset. Got that Tommy Chong joint. Not quite. Not really, but. Tommy Chong joint's right here, folks. Look at DJ Alchemist is sleeping on the far right.

He's not even awake. Look at him. He's a good dude. Action? Yeah, he's a here, folks. Look at DJ Alchemist is sleeping on the far right. He's not even awake. Look at him. He's a good dude. Action? Yeah, he's a really good dude. That dude's the shit. Let me see that thing. This is the Tommy Chong joint.

Yeah, come on, bro. Be gentle, bro. He's smoking something like it. He's smoking a fat one, but not like that motherfucker. This is ridiculous. Unless it's the Tommy Chong joint dropped down to that size. You're never going to smoke this. No, I'm going to keep it forever.

He's a legend. Tommy Chong's a legend. I used to listen to his albums when I was a kid, man. For me to just even be on a podcast with him was surreal. I just didn't want to waste his time. I just wanted to be nice to him.

Isn't that weird though for him? I've been on another podcast with him. It's big for him though. Isn't that wild? Doesn't that make you feel the type of way where you're like, I'm a hero of this dude and he's like,

dude, I love your shit. I'm happy. I'm happy that Tommy Chong loves me because I love him. Him him and cheech that was when i was a kid man yeah those guys were heroes you know like they were ridiculous they made everything fun they were silly like everything was all they were getting high and it was silly and i didn't even get high when i loved them when i loved when i was watching their movies when I was a kid Like Up and Smoke, what year was that? 78? 77? Okay, and find that out And then find out what year Big Bamboo came out

Because Big Bamboo was the album that looked like rolling papers Right, and they had a piece of paper in there, didn't they? Yeah, I think so I think there was a giant piece of paper They did, right? 78 was right 78 was right Congratulations

And then in that album They would later put an actual piece of rolling paper in there. Well, the record sleeve was a usable rolling paper. Right. It was gigantic. It was way bigger than that. That's incredible. They were promoting illegal drugs. You've got to think back then, marijuana was a full-on schedule one drug schedule one schedule one 72

was big bamboo oh wow a big bamboo was before okay so i was five there's the record six yeah yeah yeah there it is and there's the fucking rolling paper yeah i was five years old look at i was born in 67 this was 72 so that's the rolling paper wow they have a real one look at the fucking inside cover the picture of the two of them. That is crazy. Pause it when you get to that picture. Damn. Look at that picture.

That's crazy. Before they were together in that improv group he was in when they were really young, like right before that. Right. That's crazy. Is that where that's from? It's right before that. Oh, dude.

I can find it. These guys are still doing shows. Still selling out. Here's the thing. Santino and Rogan in 2084. We're going to be taking our vitamins. We're taking it over, dog. We're going to be taking our vitamins, man.

Can you believe that, though? That's powerful to have that long-term effect of being talented and producing good shit. Those motherfuckers have been funny and cool for years and years and years. They still have fans. I mean, think about it. If you have fans from 72 to 2019, kapow. Name somebody else that's like that. Who's killing it like that, right?

Who would be from that era that's still doing what they do in the comedy world? It would have been Bill Cosby if he didn't have a few trip-ups. What'd he do? Something happened. I don't remember. You just said that wrong? Something happened. But I mean, who else?

Did you see that someone was tweeting from Bill Cosby's account about Father's Day? It was his wife, apparently, right? Isn't that what it was? Somebody said on the internet, his wife goes, real men take care of their families. And they... Imagine just looking at your computer going, yeah, this is a good one. It's a good idea to put this out there. Definitely a good idea to stay relevant.

Not a good idea to hang back. I. Definitely a good idea to stay relevant. Not a good idea to hang back. I don't want a bad rep in prison. I mean, how many rapes do you have to have where people forget? How many rapes does it take to get the center of a jail cell? What do you got? I'm checking. Hold on. It's so strange that when I was a kid, he was the cleanest, friendliest, like, family guy.

He was Fat Albert. He was Jell-O pudding. He was, like, this super sweet, nice guy. Clean cut. Clean cut. And that's the same thing with, like, the talk about, like, the male feminists. There's guys that want women to do great because they're just kind. They want everybody to do great.

You know what I'm talking about. But then there's guys that are just weasels. Right? Yes. It must be similar to those clean cut guys that are just really pushing you to not use such language. Why would you say something like that? Those guys are almost always fucked up.

Of course. Something's up. Something's up. What do you give a fuck about people using certain words? Yeah. What does it matter? Do you not know what a word is? A word is a vehicle for conveying intent. Some of them disturb you?

What's going on behind your fucking screens, bro? What's happening in there? When you deprive people of things, good God, do they want it more. And when they show signs of depravity, that means that's something deep inside of them. Do you think that everyone who's squeaky clean is a pervert well of some semblance yeah yeah yes of course when you preach when you preach the perfection what does that really mean something's wrong with you something's wrong with you dude are you telling me how to be perfect why you telling me how to fucking stop doing heroin are? Are you? Duncan told me this about the Dalai Lama.

Hilarious story. He goes to Dalai Lama. How does it? His mother wants him to quit doing sugar. And he says, come back in one month. So he comes back in one month. And he goes, stop doing sugar. And the mother's like, well, why did you wait a month?

He goes, I wanted to see if I could do it. That's hilarious, isn't it? That's so poignant. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah, you should, right? Yeah. There's a lot of people telling you. That's wild.

Respect women. Just respect them. You know, that guy just got done screaming at his ex-girlfriend calling her a fucking cunt. I'll fucking strangle you and shit your hair.

I'm on Twitter, you fucking bitch. You fucking bitch. And then it's like, women are goddesses. They must be respected. Dude, those who throw stones

always live in a glass house. They always do it. That's the first person to throw something is the first person that's like, what's really going on with you? Hey, by the way, by the way. By the way. By the way. By the way.

You see Louie at Skank Fest. Yeah. What a response. Interesting. Our boy Tim Dillon tweeted about it and people went after him. He tweeted, best moment of my year or something like that you know what someone said to me um people lost it they said i fucking loved him dylan someone said that you know hey fuck you joe rogan uh he sexually assaulted women like man

that's i i understand that people are upset about what he did but he did not sexually assault women and to say that the one the one air the one group of people that it really fucks is people have been actually sexually assaulted yes when it's not what he does not good but when a guy says can i jerk off in front of you? And you say yes, and he does it. It is a big, there's a big difference between that and sexual assault. And contrary to popular opinion, I don't know how many people really know the story. And again, I'm not saying that what he did was good.

What he did was definitely not good. When people said no, he didn't do it. It's not like he made people do it if they didn't say yes he asked questions and a lot of people don't know this i'm not this is not and i saw an article in one of these papers it was saying that he's changing his story like he's not changing his story what he said was their stories were true but in their stories he i don't think he wanted to defend every single aspect of it but as far as i know he, he didn't, no one said no and then he did it anyway.

That's what I've, that's all I've ever heard. And Sarah Silverman talked about how he would ask her and she would say yes and he would do it. And sometimes she would say no. Say no, right. Sometimes she didn't. I don't want to see you jerk off. Stop.

Right. But he's a freak. Okay? He's a weirdo. He's a genius comic. And I don't think he's as bad as people want to believe he is. I think he made mistakes like a human. And I don't, you know, I don't think he's as bad as people want to believe he is. I think he made mistakes like a human. And I don't think it was good.

And again, I don't think he's happy about it at all. I think that's a giant understatement. But when does it end? Like, when is he allowed to perform? When is he allowed to perform for people who forgive him? When is he allowed to perform? I don't know. The conversation comes to a point where it's not like you're endorsing terrible behavior,

but you are saying at a certain point in time, you've got to give someone a way out. Because if you don't, then they start to recognize what you are. Right. Okay, and you're kind of a tyrant. And you're kind of saying you don't believe in forgiveness. You don't believe in improvement. You don't believe in anybody ever getting past a bad deed that they did. And I think as a human who's a kind, you try to be a kind person,

try to be a fair person, you've got to let people grow and move past mistakes. I don't know when it is. I don't know what someone has to say in order to get you to forgive it, but the fact that people dwell on it, unless you and him have a personal thing and you want to talk to him about it, and I don't know if he has.

I don't know if he's done any of that stuff. But I think as a culture, we are way too quick not just to condemn but to attack and to continue to attack relentlessly and to never want someone to get up and that's not a sign of a compassionate person and maybe it's partly to blame for people who don't express themselves and don't give you a full version of who they are and you let people contemplate who you are and i think anyone in the public eye has been guilty of that to some extent but this is a significant issue and i think that people immediately start taking sides and they start going girl versus boy right male versus female and i think there's real danger in us

splitting up like that too i think that we can't get to this place where women feel like they can't trust men and men feel like they can't trust women just universally and then you find rare exceptions like i've read shit like that before like uh i've read some lady wrote it was kind of sad she wrote like any straight white male is trash unless proven otherwise it's like look i know it must be hard okay dude i know it must be hard what an I know it must be hard What an insane thing To cast such a big net Not just to even think it

All Filipinos Have a bad leg But you're broad You're broadcasting it To your 16,000 followers You know You're putting that On your Twitter page

It's silly though It's a crazy way Of looking at shit You can't encompass An entire group of humans Ever Ever Ever

It doesn't make sense It doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense so what the fuck are we like look i get where they're coming from sure i feel like they're gaining ground sure so a guy like louis ck comes back and they're thinking they're connecting him with harvey weinstein and bill cosby no i don't think it's the same thing and i don't i don't again i don't think what he did was good look i have all daughters we have classes of jerking off in front of them when they really don't want it. Sure.

Sure. It's, it's not good. And I'm sorry about that last summer. I didn't mean to do that. It's a barbecue. I just thought. I had a good time,

dude. I had a good time. I didn't feel bad at all. No, but fucking come on, man. I just, I just think that like we have classes of crimes.

You don't have, you're not going to do it in this, in this world. You're going to say they're all the same. And then I heard someone, I was seeing someone saying what he did was definitely a crime. And I was like, come on. You might be upset that he did it, but it's not a crime.

It's wrong. It's unfortunate. It's fucked up. The real problem, the real issue is that he was in a position where these girls were admiring him. Right. That's the real. And I think he should recognize that. I don't think he's explained it to some people's what they desire, some people's requirements.

And I appreciate that, and I understand that. I really just think what a lot of us are missing is just a lack of communication and compassion and understanding. I think we're missing a lot of that. And we've got to really think of people like anytime someone's – I mean, I'm not talking about people that are serial killers. I'm just talking about people who make mistakes. You've got to treat – we're all human beings. Yeah. People make mistakes.

We fuck up. It doesn't mean you're a canceled person. We've got to stop with that. I really think that. Right. Because I just think that it's not helping anybody. And it's getting people's jollies off because they watch someone crash down. Yeah, people love to watch someone fucking burn.

And I was also thinking that also when This kind of stuff happens People don't want to ever reconsider Their opinion on a person like there was this thing about Kevin Spacey and They made the text Available of this guy Who Kevin Spacey was touching his dick Going back and forth with his girlfriend

Bro they were laughing about it And they're trying to make it seem like this is evidence That he was scared And that Kevin Spacey was sexually abusing him They were like oh my god he's gay He's touching my dick he's gay He's unzipping my pants he's gay This guy was texting his girlfriend

While Kevin Spacey I'm in his asshole he's so gay He must be gay because I'm fucking him in his mouth now Bro they released all the text messages But they didn't release some of them and the mother said that she deleted a lot of them that uh related to his frat boy like behavior what is that probably jokes about getting his dick sucked by kevin spacey that shit in there that's hilarious yeah no there's some deception going on i think i mean i'm not a obviously i'm

not a lawyer but but I think, I think they're trying to make some money. That's what I think. Sure. I think it's horseshit. I don't think this 18-year-old kid's worried about this 800-year-old man

touching his dick. He flatlined that guy. He just popped him in the face. When you're 18, you'll punch the fuck out of some 65-year-old pervert. Come here, little boy. Unless he's a small fellow.

I don't know if he's, I have no idea about his physical stature. But if I was 18, some guy kept grabbing my dick, I'd put him to sleep. Yeah, dude. You go at night and I'd touch my dick again. That's the first thing you do at 18. You're like, I'm going to fight you, dude.

I'm like, you're not going to fuck me, man. What is this? What is this shit? Messages start with the accuser texting, like, he's hanging around me in the bar. He's got my number and asked me to come out with him. The girlfriend replies, are you kidding? And then sends two other messages saying what and then he says sounds like he's hitting on you the man types i think he is and then he's grabbing my leg and expletive oh my god you can't say cock and goes away to say i'm not adding, but I think Spacey is.

The accuser continued texting, saying that he was being touched inappropriately, like eight times later, adding, and then he invited me to his house. Hey, pro tip, pro tip, when a dude is touching your dick, you gotta tell him to stop.

Look at this, Joe. Not once does he say the guy's trying to tell him to stop. The girlfriend replied, what the expletive fuck is happening? Yeah, I saw this. I saw this. Have fun. Too much fun. I was gonna get to that. Jesus Christ, you reached down my pants. What the fuck is happening? Have fun, but not too much fun, if you know what I mean. Jesus Christ, you reached down my pants.

Help. No, this is Kevin ducking Spacey. The bitch can't even spell. She fucked the auto text up. He's gay. He's buying me another drink. Oh fucked the auto text up he's gay he's buying me another drink oh my god babe he's gay i think i want to hang this kid is gay yeah what the fuck are you talking about why are you texting the accuser writes that he got autographs and a hell of a story come on man opportunistic opportunistic maybe maybe he's not gay maybe he's just a kid having a good time and doesn't understand

how crazy this is. Not a lot of people that get sexually assaulted have time to text. Okay? I'm just saying. He's having fun playing around.

He was enjoying the fact that it was Kevin Spacey doing to him for sure but it doesn't sound to me in any way like he was threatened. It sounded like he let the guy touch him and maybe he should be

accused of blue balling Mr. Spacey. Did Spacey get a nut? Does it say that at the end? Do you think that he was flirting with him a little bit? Come on. Keep Kevin Spacey around? He thinks it's funny.

It's fucked up. The whole story is fucked up. If Kevin Spacey really did do it, then it's fucked up that we're joking about it. Yeah. And if Kevin Spacey didn't do it, then it's fucked up that this guy is trying to set him up. Because he just wants to make money and he's ruining Kevin Spacey's life. Yeah. But Kevin Spacey's life is already in trouble yeah it's spiral there's a lot of shit

this was an isolated incident that was one one of many but different it's a different thing if you look at that story after you read those texts you go oh this is a different thing yeah this isn't like he's like trying to force some guy into a bathroom and bludgeon him and fuck him while he's unconscious they're partied have they're partied out having a good time he said they're buying us another drink the guy is hanging around yes like he's not being forced against his will there's no one that's holding him there yeah if you got your dick grabbed once and you didn't want it you don't want to happen seven more times you also don't text someone he grabbed his dick eight times and everyone's like look the victim is crying for help yeah and he texts someone

he just grabbed my dick he did it again it is this is what men have to really truly understand it is so much different when a guy like

Kevin Spacey and again I don't know what this guy looked like but I'm gonna assume it was me at 18 right

a normal normal dude who does you know athletic stuff I'm strong at 18 and I'm strong at 18.

I'm not worried about him raping me is what my point is. Whereas a woman, if a guy's doing that and the guy's cornered you. Fear. Yeah, there's fear. There's heavy fear. You're literally worried this guy could rape you. I hope he's not that guy that would rape me, the kind of guy. Right.

Because women don't know if you're the kind of guy that would rape them. Because look at Ted Bundy, man. He was a handsome guy. Yeah. And girls would just go with him because they thought Like, oh, he looks good Yeah, he's fine He seems normal Next thing you know, he's killing him

Yeah Right? So girls legitimately have to worry about that work Guys don't So even this guy With Kevin Spacey If he didn't like what Kevin Spacey was doing There's no indication that he said it to him

Right So Kevin Spacey's probably thinking We're gonna party I'm touching this guy's dick. He ain't saying shit. He's just texting his friends. God, tell your friends when I fuck your mouth. Tell your friends. I wanna fuck your friends, too. Bring those motherfuckers over here. Bring those guys, too.

Bring the whole team. I'll fuck all of them. He's probably thinking he's gonna have a good time because this guy's not saying anything. Meanwhile, this guy's texting his... Never does he say, hey, I told him to stop touching my dick and he won't leave me alone. No. Doesn't say that.

He said he invited me to his house. We're ready to party. I had to push him away from me. I was going to fuck him up, but I guess he's drunk. I'm coming to you, baby, because I love you. No. There's none of that. It's like, LOL.

He's jerking me off in his mouth. She says, be careful. Have fun. Which is like, you're out for the night, I guess. She even told him that being gay is okay. She said, are you trying to tell me something? Being gay is okay. And that's when he responded, I'm not gay. LOL. Left that out of the first part even told him that being gay is okay. She said, are you trying to tell me something? Being gay is okay. And that's when he responded,

I'm not gay. LOL. Left that out of the first part. Bro, that kid's not scared. No. Okay, this idea that he should get money because he was getting

sexually assaulted. No, you're getting hit on and you're at an establishment that serves drugs. The drug that reduces inhibition better than any drug. Alcohol. Alcohol.

And you're accepting this drug from this guy who's already touched your dick seven times. Acknowledging it, by the way. This isn't like, I didn't know it was happening. It was like dictating. LOL. Joking about it. His dick is in my ass.

How dare this guy. Whoa. What was happening? Do you think that Kevin Spacey should be able to sue him back? Countersuit for that? For defamation of character? Just for being a bitch. Yeah. Just sue for being a bitch. If there was a court of men. Your honor, of character? Just for being a bitch. Yeah.

Just sue for being a bitch. Yeah. Like, if there was a court of men... Your Honor, I'm suing for being a bitch. Like, where you could, uh, Judge Santino, um, please welcome this case. Uh, Mr. Spacey

touched this boy's dick over and over again and continued to buy him drinks. And the man never said no, but he attacked his girlfriend over and over again. And then later on, sued Mr. spacey for sexual assault your thoughts young man you're guilty of being a bitch you must serve time as a biatch okay then the question is is there a real issue with him being 18 where like hey he's legal maybe

he's legal but maybe he's like bewildered like he doesn't know what to do. Maybe he's never been around a famous guy like Kevin Spacey before. He doesn't know how to tell a guy to get off of him. He doesn't have experience being around gay guys. Maybe he's never had a guy try to fuck him. Yeah, but he's playing into the game. The texts all say that he's playing. Oh, he's touching me. Maybe we're going to hang out with him.

He's doing this game. He's playing a game. Immaterial. You're harassing the witness. Does the kid work at the bar or something? What was he doing at the bar? Sucking dicks. It was a gay bar?

No. He's 18. He was at a bar. I think he worked there. But he lied to him and told him he was 23. That was another part of the problem. The kid lied and told Kevin Spacey he was older than he was. Bam, bam, bam.

The plot thickens. Also, there's bars you can go into under 21. I know you can be in there. I'm just saying, what was he doing? Just hanging out, having fun, or was he working? Well, he did say he's going to buy us drinks. That's what I meant. Was he a busboy, and he just kept walking by him, and he kept grabbing his dick every

time he walked by? Didn't he say he worked there? I'm looking at it. I don't see anything. We don't need to keep talking about this. This poor fella. He didn't want to run into Kevin Spacey, but it was a financial opportunity, and he had to capitalize.

Yeah. Which means it's going to happen. Is he going to go to jail? No. Fuck no. a financial opportunity and he had to capitalize. Yeah. Which is going to happen? Is he going to go to jail? No. Fuck no. No. Is that guy going to get any money? Yeah.

The kid? Hush money. Yeah. He'll get some hush money. Why didn't he even get it? How much does he want? He'll get it all. He got him drunk and then sexually assaulted him at that bar is what happened.

He worked there. Is that what you said? Yeah. He worked there as a busboy. Okay. People with wealth always get off. Yeah. Like, what's their name? The USC people? Lori Loughlin? You know what's fucked. People with wealth always get off. Yeah. Like, what's her name?

The USC people? Lori Loughlin? You know what's fucked up, man? They get off. The last season of House of Cards? Nobody gave a fuck about it. There was a big billboard.

The billboards and everybody was like, oh, okay. It was a four-year consideration. What is her name again? Robin Wright. Yeah? Robin Wright. Yeah, Robin Wright. She's amazing.

She's amazing in the show. She's one of the best actresses we've ever had alive. But she needed him to play off. He was the ultimate evil that was turning her more evil. Well, they're balanced. She killed her boyfriend. Spoiler alert. Yeah.

Bro. Yeah. Bro. And by the way, in the show, he's doing a lot of gay shit. Like, hint, hint. Okay. The whole show he does gay shit. He gets his cocksucked in a library or some shit kisses guys a lot of crazy shit it's a crazy fucking which is why i loved it and it was amazing and you needed a dirty crazy fuck like kevin spacey to pull that character off for sure look part of you knew he knew what it was to be a crazy fuck it's like part of how he pulled that roll off

you bought it okay that's not ron howard pretending to be banging dudes and getting his dick sucked and all that stuff best rules he's playing a crazy guy yeah he's crazy yeah always i mean it's also why he's such an amazing artist but that doesn't give him a license to victimize all those people that he went after that were of course it's not not justifying but what i'm saying is it's amazing how someone who is fucked up like that can produce you know like this kind of art where like as an you you like he makes a show right the show a big part of what it was. It's because you bought this guy as this crazy, tormented, twisted fuck. Absolutely. I mean, he was so eloquent at it.

He was unbelievable. It looked so natural. It was so real. That's probably because it was real, right? 100%. I mean, you know how many people in America you say for years, you're like, Kevin Spacey's gay. And the business has known about it. And they go, you're fucking out of your head. I the business has known about it and they go you're fucking

out of your head I'm gonna do a spit take that's what I'm gonna do you don't know he's gay what but how many people in America

were like no he's not he's not he's not gay what what are you nuts fucking California everybody thinks

everybody's gay but that's the problem it's because there's a perception and in the show him playing this character who's also art imitating life, balancing on this world of hiding a big secret, it was just so close to home.

It was crazy. It was such a good show, dude. So good. When she fell in love with that artist and she went to live with him in New York and there's pictures of them together and it's like, whoa, this is crazy. Crazy. Watching them naked in bed in some great loft and stuff. But you needed them together.

After they kicked him out, you're like, what? The dynamics were too strong when they were together. It was amazing. In the episode one that I watched, the only one that I watched, everybody looked super nervous. Everybody looked super... It just looked off. What do you mean?

It just looked off. The show looked off. They knew. Jesus Christ. They just fired Kevin Spacey. Nobody was watching. Even on camera, they're like, so we'll just

Continue this game It was just weird Yeah I mean maybe it got better As time went on I didn't see it You know who I really liked too Was the

His assistant That guy that helped him out That would do anything for him Yeah That killed Rachel Brosnahan Yeah When you pushed her

In front of a train No no no That was him That was Kevin Spacey Kevin Spacey Killed the girl In front of the train And no no that was him That was Kevin Spacey Kevin Spacey killed a girl in front of a train And then the other guy went back and killed a hooker That hooker went on to be The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

That's right Rachel Brosnahan She's dope She's great in that Maisel show Yes that is a good fucking show You know Amazon's doing comedy specials now. Are they? They did Jim Gaffigan.

Oh, I know that. And they did Russell Peters. And they're doing some other ones as well. I'll do one with them. I'll do one over there. Amazon, I'll do one with you. I like it. Yeah, I think it's cool.

Breaking the mold of the Netflix mold. Everybody has Amazon Prime, dude. Everybody does. Well, now they own Whole Foods. When you go to Whole Foods, you get a good discount on shit. That's wild. She was like, do you have your app? You just scan your fucking app.

Nice. Give yourself a little bit of turkey legs. What do you want? Take a little for yourself. A couple of bags of spinach. Why don't you check out? $2 off. What are you, Amazon person?

Nice. Yeah. Amazon, yeah. Amazon owns the fucking world man content they're doing you buy things like what a weird weird company you buy stuff with one click you can watch tv shows they're making tv shows you go buy your groceries when are they going to open up their town amazon town where is it? Where does it go? Buffalo. They need it bad. People in Buffalo are like, please? Would you go to Amazon Town? Would you live there?

No. It would be a mess. Jamie, would you live in Amazon Town? A lot of brown boxes. Everywhere you look, brown boxes. We recycle. It changed everything. It changed the way grocery stores have to work now because they have that two-hour delivery.

You have to have delivery at grocery stores. It's fucking awesome, Pete. I know. They do that with whole foods too right does whole foods deliver yes yes we will most groceries we will reach a point now when we don't go into grocery stores that's crazy they'll deliver dude when i was a kid no grocery stores delivered do you remember yeah never i've never heard of that delivery no that didn't exist when did that start they do have the store too where you walk in and it feels like you're stealing. And you just leave.

You just leave and they charge your account. Oh my God. Do you know this? In New York, they tested it out. People just walk in and you have the app in your phone. So when you walk out, it registers what you have with you. Whoa. That's fucking insane.

Living in the future, bro. Doug, there will be a point when we don't ever go to those things. Someone just will give you get an order every week how long will it be before they can replicate food and all you have to do is like put the bare ingredients

and amino acids and shit into some vat and then you print up anything you want print up 3D print a steak 3D print an apple

3D print I'm hungry for baked potato pizza yeah 3D print it comes out yeah butaked potato Pizza Yeah 3D print it Comes out Perfect

Yeah but you know what What It's not gonna taste good How do you know Cause food has love In that shit People say that Like yeah these new cars man

There's no soul Okay No but food is different Nutrition is different You can never You can't How do you know It's just elements

Just little things They figure out how to Fucking move around Wiggle I don't know something about They're being so natural Imagine perfect Comes out With a nice It's just elements. Just little things that they figure out how to fucking move around, wiggle. I don't know. Something about they're being so natural. Imagine perfect comes out with a nice toast to the crust. God, your fucking computer.

Imagine. Just an English muffin. Dude. I don't think so. There's no fucking way. What if they nail it? What if they have the perfect chocker croissant? Oh, chocker. Yeah, there's no fucking way what if they nail it what if they have like the perfect choc-a-croissant

oh choc I was thinking yeah there's a touch to that there is a touch a human touch you need to that I feel like

a robot might not be able to give a great massage well like you know they say that the oils in your hands are good when you eat with your hands

that's why a lot of the world still eats with their fucking hands utensils take away no they're dirty people no they're not dirty people what are they doing with their hands your hands have natural enzymes that kill a lot of the world still eats with their fucking hands, right? Utensils take away- No, they're dirty people. No, they're not dirty people. What are they doing with their hands? Your hands have natural enzymes that kill a lot of bacteria.

Maybe yours, bro. Well, I'm not wiping my ass with my hands anymore. Well, that's why in some countries it's a real insult to try to shake someone's hand with your left hand. Right, because it's your booty hand. It's your booty hand, bro. It's your booty hand, player. Yeah, bro. Yeah, but you know what?

I still think there's something about the touch of food when you feel- Someone touches food, it does something to the enzymes of food. I don't know food it does something the enzymes of food i don't know about that sounds like some fucking voodoo bullshit you learned from your astrologer listen bro you believe in the tides joe i gotta think that you know there's something about the love of food that fucking you go to him you know because he's sensitive he's got a good heart yeah he understands enzymes that come from your fingers they do that produce in your gut enzymes are produced they're digestive things yeah but it's in your hands do you get enzymes in your hands yeah you do and your fingertips yes what kind of enzymes it change it makes it that your food is uh where'd you read this look it up look it up is that real look it up sounds like

you're talking about like a cast iron skillet like do enzymes come off your fingers there's something in your hands That changes the chemical composition of food That changes the flavor profiles in your mouth And it makes it so you don't get sick That's amazing Dirty hands are good It makes it so you don't get sick

Dirty hands People have This is what you say before you eat ass Before we fucking Lift up your booty When you eat ass and then have nachos Before we had soap What do you think

How do you think their dirty hands ate food? They died dude No they didn't die that much They were 30 years old They were bleeding out their asshole and mouth Nothing at all Get out of here I swear

Get out of here The only thing that's coming up I typed in oils and hands You know what's coming up Mike Tyson weed Causes you To make up ridiculous facts You

Look at a Jamie Search on Bing, bro. Don't just Google it. Oh, my God. What would you like me to search? Okay, search this. Search this.

I got to pee. All right, Joe's got to pee. We'll figure this out while you pee. Okay. Search. This is great. Search cultures that eat with their hands. Don't get sick.

How about that? This is great. Mind your manners, eat with your hands. No. Eating from the same bowl, is it safe? I feel like you're... Dining etiquette from around the world. Look, dude.

There's got to be... There's some shit in people's hands that makes them not get sick when they eat. What? For years we ate without utensils. Yeah, but people got sick. No, but not all the time, Jamie. Heat helps that, like cooking with heat. Not everyone could cook with fire.

People ate a lot of raw shit for a long time. You got to find something on there. I mean, I'm looking. You're killing me, dude. This is killing me. I'm too high to look it up right now myself that's the bummer i don't even know how to do it man i'll try bing we're gonna go to bing go to bing see what the fuck bing does eating with hands don't get sick yeah

there's gotta be something secrets of people who never get sick. Let's see. It's just about sleeping, sneezing, vitamin C, sleep it off, get a handle on stress, be a gym rat. This is nothing. You got nothing, man. Got nothing coming up. Got nothing. God, son of a bitch. Totally nothing here.

I don't know where you're getting this from. Hey, just make it up for Joe. Just lie when he comes back when he comes back just no yeah we found so much stuff it's crazy where have i heard this i've heard it somewhere someone on the internet is going to agree with me some some dude will find it the thing i had Bill Cosby, he just filed today for an appeal, apparently. Oh, he did? Yeah. 358 pages. A hard fucking case to fight, huh?

How are you going to fight that, dude? Would you kill yourself? It's a ridiculous show. I don't know. He's the only guy I don't know. Tell him. Hey, Joe, Jamie found a ton of fucking stuff proving my shit. Tons?

Tons. On fingertip enzymes? Yeah, like the QC10, something like that. Really? That proving my shit. Enzymes? Tons. On fingertip enzymes? Yeah, like the QC10, something like that. Really? That's the shit? Yeah. No. No.

Absolutely not. Couldn't find a single thing. You made it up. Yeah. That happens, man. Somebody told me. Sometimes you just have a dream, and in that dream, you're convinced. No, I've heard it somewhere, and then I thought, wow, that's amazing.

People, cultures, they eat with their hands. There's enzymes in your hands. No, they just don't want to change to forks and they say make up some story about Hindu gods. Yeah, I was in Central America. Yes. Yes, they told me. And I was eating shit raw. You're in contact with the flesh.

You never lose contact. If you were Bill Cosby, would you just kill yourself? Yes. You would, right? I would just end it. I don't know what you can do when you're that far down the hole. So say you just filed an appeal. Are you messing with me?

So it's like, here's a perfect example of what we were talking about earlier with Louie. Think about Louie, and now think about Bill Cosby. Totally different. Right, but people don't want you to say that, because they're both, air quotes, abusers. One of them is a monster. One of them is a guy who did some stupid shit kinky shit weird shit he was into it he asked people they said yes he shouldn't have done it he feels bad that he did it but you can't how do you forgive bill cosby like to take that the idea

that you're supposed to forgive louis which i think yes and then i don't see a path for bill cosby to be forgiven i don't see that path for Bill Cosby to be forgiven. I don't see that path. When you've ruined the lives of how many people? 50 plus. When something's that heinous, I think it's quite different. Have you ruined their life? You certainly fucked them up. If you wake up and you're with Bill Cosby and you thought he was going to take care of you

and your pants are down by your ankles and you realize he fucked you while you're unconscious and he drugged you, that was going to take care of you and your pants are down by your ankles and you realize he fucked you while you're unconscious and he drugged you. Yeah. That is going to fuck your head up. It's going to change what you think about people. That someone could just

drug you and treat you like meat. You're unconscious. They're doing things to you when you're out cold. So you're saying what's our laws of forgiveness? Well, how do you forgive that?

First of all, you can't because he doesn't admit it. He never admits it. So he never even gets to the door of acceptance, of all, you can't because he doesn't admit it. He never admits it. So he never even gets to the door of acceptance, of forgiveness, of doing this penance. If there is a penance, if there's anything you never do ever, he doesn't even get to the door. If he did admit it, then would there be room for forgiveness? That's a good question.

I think it would probably open up the door to more lawsuits. Sure. I think they would come storming in like hail. Right. Yeah, but I know would come storming in like hail. Right. Yeah, but I know what you're saying is very smart. It's saying like, we're saying we're supposed to forgive someone like Louis. Well, what is the line of when you don't forgive? Right.

What's the line? What is the line? What's the number? What's the line? What's the atrocity? What is it that we go, you can't forgive this person anymore? Yeah, what's the line of compassion? Like, where do you take it?

The line of compassion. That's a good word. That's what it is. What is that ultimate where you go, no, you can no longer from this moment forward forgive this human being? And the problem is, now here's where it gets slippery. If you decide you're going to be the guy who says, I'm going to kill this guy. Someone that executes him yeah yeah if you decide if you live in a i mean look that's what we're essentially doing we're just doing it slow by

putting him in a cage right right but if you were gonna really decide hey we're gonna we're gonna remove this guy from the population i can't trust him with my kids we live in a primitive society okay we live in some some village type society thousands of years ago right that's what we all did what would we do when someone was like that? Well, we'd probably try to figure out a way to get rid of them. Yeah, you'd kill them. You'd have to kill them. Yeah, you'd have to.

But you would have to figure out what are the laws that allow someone to kill somebody because you can't just let people kill people. Because you let people kill people, then you just come up with excuses to kill people. Right. And this is what people have done throughout history, whether it's the Mongols the romans i mean just go throughout history people have people fucking killed people because they could kill people right so when do you what like what is the moral distinction that you have to make where someone is they have done irreparable harm but that changes over time right right that and that continually changes that's that's my point is like that will never stop they have done irreparable harm. But that changes over time. Right.

Right. And that continually changes. That's my point is like, that will never stop changing from decade to decade, from era to era. What we find deplorable now will not be deplorable later. Right.

And we see it with so many aspects of our culture. Yes. Literature, movies. Yes. Yeah. The way we restrict. So what we're saying is, is there ever a line? is there ever a line?

is there ever a line? does it ever exist? does that idea of like this is the cut off does that really exist? because it's constantly moving it's constantly changing yeah

I've said it a million times I've never said what Louis did was okay I think he has his issues I don't think anybody has but I also think everybody needs to investigate what happened and find out he's got to talk about what yes i'm sure let him talk about it find out what the social psychology of what he was going through yeah

but disturbed but what i think is happening too is that a lot of women feel like when these guys that are abusers got taken out that it made it so that it was better for women and so that if they come back things go back the way they were this is a real that's a real thought you know yes but we must have conversation if we don't have conversation then we're fucked i mean that's a real thought with imagine being a guy like harvey weinstein who was doing this for long, get away with all this fucked up shit for so long. Supported, by the way. Supported. Supported.

I mean, he had a clause in his contract detailing what would happen for the first case of sexual harassment, second case, third case in the contract. So why aren't they up? Why aren't the people that support him up? Hey, Cheeto, I'd love you to join my podcast network. I'm thinking about promoting you. I'm in. I just think you're a great guy. You're a funny guy.

You're a talented guy. But I think you might be a raper. So what I want to put is the first rape, I'm going to charge you this much. Okay. The second, what the fuck? What the fuck? Imagine the first sexual harassment is like got a figure, and the second one, a lawsuit has another figure, a double the figure.

They're like, three strikes, you're out. But it's not something he can't afford. No? It's like 250, 500 grand. He's like a billionaire. Yeah. He's Harvey Weinstein. He goes, fine.

He made Pulp Fiction. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll clear it up. I'll clear it up. He's eating food while they're talking. He's fucking crumbsstein He goes fine He made Pulp Fiction He's like yeah yeah yeah I'll clear it up I'll clear it up He's eating food While they're talking He's fucking crumbs All down his face He's jerking off

He's jerking off While they're talking He's just a glutton He's just a glutton A filthy fat Fucking glutton You can't make A better case

For a glutton Than that guy He's a metaphor For the business By the way All consuming Taking Right

And the looks, too. Yeah. He would ruin what's beautiful. Right. Take what's beautiful and fuck its mouth. He broke pretty things. With his fat gut resting on their forehead. He ruined pretty things.

Yeah. He fucked up pretty things. Horrible. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. But it's interesting because that is a villain in a movie. He's a villain in a movie. He's a villain in a movie. Yes, it's like a bad Dick Tracy character.

More modern. He's a villain in a fucking Harvey Weinstein movie is what he is. Oh, yeah. Someone will make that film. He's a villain. No, but he's a villain in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Right. If there was a guy who was doing dark shit and then one of the girls winds up playing

like some kick-ass female character winds up shooting him and killing him. Like Hannah, what the fuck's her name? Who? The woman who's in Kill Bill. Not Uma Thurman, but Daryl Hannah. Daryl Hannah. Yeah, Daryl Hannah. Daryl Hannah.

Daryl Hannah winds up killing him. Tight. Like kills him with a brick boom bust his fucking head open yeah like patricia arquette when she killed tony soprano yes remember yes right yeah that yeah yeah she was dope fuck yeah that was perfect he was the perfect character that tony soprano character that she killed when James Gandolfini in True Romance. Was it Patricia Arquette? Sounds like it. Yeah, that's right, right?

There's two Arquettes. No. What's the other Arquette? There's two Arquettes. No, no, no. Patricia Arquette. It was Patricia. David and Patricia.

No, no, there's a girl. There's another girl. There is? Am I tripping? No, no, no. There is. Don't you shake your head, bitch. There was.

She's dead? Yeah. Oh, shit. There you go shit which one? you sure? bro you better not be wrong because that's even worse it's bad

if you miss it she's not dead no no Jamie fucked up Jamie Rosanna Rosanna Arquette

oh shit she's been in a gang of movies too she was in Pulp Fiction was she? yes Rosanna Arquette was in Pulp Fiction she was wasn't she one ofquette was in Pulp Fiction. She was,

wasn't she one of the, she was a part of like when Vinnie Barbarino had the overdose. The overdose, yeah, that was her. That's right, that was her.

They had to help her. Yeah. That was her, she was helping Uma Thurman. She was the girl that had shit all over her face as he said. Did she?

He goes, your wife has shit all over, he goes, who's the girl with the shit all over her face? And he goes, that's my wife. And he's like, oh shit. Were they like piercings or something? shit all over, he goes, who's the girl with the shit all over her face? And he goes, that's my wife. And he's like,

oh shit. Were they like, piercings or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she had piercings. Right,

wasn't that it? Right? He goes, he goes, who's the, he goes, how's the chick with shit all over her face? And then he goes,

that's my fucking wife, man. What a movie, man. What a fucking movie. Anyway, easily one of the best films ever made, always.

Amazing movie. But Patricia Arquette in True Romance, when she killed james gandolfini like that's she's killing the glutton she's killing the big disgusting asshole man yeah that big asshole shitty man who doesn't give a fuck about women and he's gonna kill her but she fucking she fucking kills him you're like yes she's got blood coming down her face it's crazy shit is dope that's a great fucking scene that is that is that scene by the way that pulp fiction scene the revive the heart revival scene is nuts just awesome nuts awesome so many scenes in that movie

like what i remember i saw that movie when i first moved to hollywood it was like 1994 i think yeah i first moved here and i was watching that movie was like, is this what it's like out here? They're saying his new movie is awesome. He said it's his best movie he's made since then, and I've heard the reviews are awesome, and they're telling the audiences to not spoil it for the rest of the people that are going to see it. Was it Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

Yeah, it comes out in like a month. Brad Pitt. Who else? Brad Pitt, Leo DiCaprio. Brad Pitt, DiCaprio, and Margot Robbie? Yep. They redid a bunch of, and Margot Robbie? Yep. They redid a bunch of Hollywood and made it look like the 70s. You can still see some of it on Sunset.

If you haven't realized why some of it's been repainted in weird ways, it was because of those scenes they were shooting there. So I picked, I was going, you know Ben Harper, the musician? Yes. Couldn't name a song, but I know who he is. Yeah. He's a dope dude. Him and I were going to dinner at Musso & Frank's,

and he likes that place. That place is amazing. He goes, meet me at Musso & Frank's. I love Mus he is. Yeah. He's a dope dude. Him and I were going to dinner at Mousseau and Frank's and he likes that place. That place is amazing. He goes, meet me at Mousseau and Frank's. I love Mousseau and Frank's. And I show up there, I'm like, dude,

what the fuck is going on? Sure enough, they're shooting. Like half the movie takes place in there. Right there. Right there. Because it still looks like that so that was like the best place

for them to do it. So that's where they go hang out. So they let you eat dinner while they're filming a movie? Right after they were done. Some of the scenes they might have, yeah. They had just finished. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's crazy. It was fucking you eat dinner while they're filming a movie? Right after they were done. Some of the scenes they might have. They just finished.

Oh, wow. Yeah? That's crazy. It was fucking, I mean, they were like, I told the guy, I go, something's got to be going on.

He's like, oh, yeah, you guys are okay, but you know what I'm saying. Nah. With the set. Nah. Reach back.

Nah. You know what? I cooled it out. I act like I've been here before. Jesus, dude. It's already 610. This is them eating there actually right there

in the trailers from the trailer. Amazing. That's at, no. Yeah, that is at M're actually right there. And the trailer's from the trailer. Amazing. That's at? No. Yeah, that is at Mousson Franks. That's Mousson Franks. Yeah.

That place is amazing. That's another super old school. It feels, it feels, you know what? It fucking feels like it's been there 100 years. Yeah. Went for my birthday, yeah. Love Mousson Franks. Dope place.

We should go. That should be a place we should go to. Mousson Franks. And we could do that before a show, you know? I would love that. Have dinner like gentlemen. Like adults. Have a scotch with a

big piece of ice. Have a scotch with some ice and some steak. Suck my dick. Here we go. Give me the check. Give me the check. Big piece of ice.

I feel like Mick Jagger likes to go there all the time too with Keith Richards and shit. I hope we see Mick Jagger. I hope we do. Really? Does he like to go there?

They went there before they had their concert on Hollywood Boulevard. Can you believe that motherfucker can still dance? we do. Really? Does he like to go there? They went there before they had their concert on Hollywood Boulevard. Buckle your lip, baby. Buckle your cap. Can you believe that motherfucker can still dance? Bro, he had a heart attack,

had open heart surgery or whatever he had. Fuck it. And he was on stage like a month later strutting his shit. He just wants to just do it.

That just means the universe wants him to live. He's a beast. He's a beast. He lived. He works out every day, multiple times a day. Does he?

Button your lip, baby. Yeah, he does dancing and yoga and lifts weights, all kinds of shit. There was a period where he never worked out once. I don't know. Is that true? Yeah, when he was on the road, there's no way. I would imagine. Back on stage 11 weeks after having heart surgery.

Fucking unreal. Sounds like me, bro. 75 years old. That's what I. Fucking unreal. Sounds like me, bro. 75 years old. That's what I do, bro. Sounds like me, bro. I know, bro. If I'm getting heart surgery, I'm done. That's it.

You think so? Yeah. I'm walking a lot. Snort that arsenic off someone's dick. Enough. Take a bunch of water from Target or whatever the fuck it was. Where was the water from? Arsenic water, bitch.

He works out three hours a day. Three hours? That's what the guitarist said the doctor said they've never operated on an athlete at 75 before so they had a really good laugh about that and i said he's so fit he works out three hours a day how old is he now 75 if you keep going you can keep going but if you slow down and stop your shit will break joe rogan that's the message of the day ladies and great fucking quote we're a great fucking quote. We're going to wrap this up. People on the road, Chito Santino will be with me

this weekend, Friday, and motherfucking Saturday, Friday at the Borgata in Atlantic City. Two shows, and then Saturday in Baltimore. I don't know where we are. Go to JoeRogan.com, some big-ass place with the great and powerful Tony Hinchcliffe.

The Whiskey Ginger podcast is available. Yes. Everywhere. Everywhere. Everywhere. All right. You're beautiful, baby. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you, baby. I love you, buddy. Fun times as always. Shout out to young Jamie. Holla.