The Joe Rogan Experience - #1324 - Ian Edwards

Episode Date: July 11, 2019

Ian Edwards is a stand up comedian and also hosts his own podcast called “Soccer Comic Rant" available on Spotify. His new special "Bill Burr presents Ian Talk: Ideas Not Worth Spreading" premieres July 12 on Comedy Central.

boom ian edwards the ever the contrarian shows up with an android phone drinking tea you just followed no rules still vegan baby ah sorta you had some french fries with david lee roth that were made with clear jamie you were there what did you see i saw a french fry or two yeah disappeared in my life listen at, at the MGM Steakhouse, they ain't cooking those fucking french fries and anything other than animal fat. Guaranteed. They're too delicious.

I didn't see it. I didn't see it. Even at McDonald's. If you get McDonald's fries, apparently they cook them in some fucking disgusting fat. Well, that's what makes them taste so good. What does make McDonald's fries taste good? They're pretty good, but they're not my favorite. They're not?

I get confused when people say they're better than In-N-Out fries. Oh, what? I like fries that taste like potatoes. Oh, yeah? Even In-N-Out fries are far superior. I don't like fries that taste like potatoes. How dare you? What?

This is the most upset I've ever seen Jamie in all my years working with him. In-N-Out fries better than McDonald's. I do personally feel it. You know who I had beef with that about? Where is it? Candy Alexander from News Radio. She was the first person to, like, we went and got In-N-Out, like, for the whole group of us. And she got McDonald's fries.

She went and got McDonald's fries. I'm like, why'd you get McDonald's fries? She's like, fuck those bullshit fries, those In-N McDonald's fries. She went and got McDonald's fries. I'm like, why'd you get McDonald's fries? She's like, fuck those bullshit fries, those In-N-Out fries. I'm like, what? I didn't understand. They can be okay, but they're so hit or miss that they can miss bad.

To me, they're remarkably consistent. They always taste like McDonald's. What are we discussing here? Fries are remarkable. It's like wine. Remarkably consistent. Well, still, they can't fuck with Five Guys fries. What are we discussing here? Fries are mocked. It's like wine. Remarkably. Well, still, they can't fuck with Five Guys fries.

Five Guys are the king of fries. For real? Yes. They have two options. They're real. They have the fucking potatoes in bags sitting in their goddamn store just to let you know, bitch, we're using these potatoes. And then they take that bag and shake it in there and cut it up.

They have Cajun fries. So they win. You have another option. You got spicy fries that are goddamn delicious. I might have to stop by there. And then you don't have to crack packets to get your ketchup. They have a giant tub of the ketchup. You squirt that bitch in a nice little cup, a little paper cup.

You can shower it in ketchup. McDonald's had that. Homeless people would be shower it. McDonald's doesn't have that. And ketchup. If McDonald's had that, homeless people would be under it squirting mustard in their mouth. I'll tell you what, man. Since Starbucks got in trouble for being racist, there's a lot more homeless people at Starbucks. They understand that. They could just

go there. It's really odd. That's so funny. They can't get kicked out. They can't go there. It's really odd. That's so funny. It's true. They can't get kicked out. They can't get kicked out. Everybody's afraid. Dude, it's 100% different. 100% different in some spots. Which ones are you going to?

Because the ones in Hollywood, they know how to handle it for the most part. They got locks on everything. I went to a shifty one in downtown where they don't even have a bathroom. How do you serve in coffee? You don't have a bathroom. Coffee makes you shit and piss. This is ridiculous. But I realized they didn't have a bathroom. Like, how do you serve in coffee? You don't have a bathroom. Coffee makes you shit and piss. Yeah. This is ridiculous.

But I realized they didn't have a bathroom because of the homeless people. There was homeless people that had, like, this guy had a port, and he was charging all of his devices. He had everything. He had, like, a phone, a fucking iPad. He's got a long night ahead of him. But they get free electricity there. So he's got, like, a bag of his stuff. Like, he's got a little camp in the corner of the Starbucks.

I'm like, wow. On one hand, like, hey, how's a guy supposed to get some electricity? I want him to get back up on his feet. Maybe this is the way to do it. Maybe it's through that iPad. On the other hand, I'm like, hey, don't give me a disease, you fucking. I got a hit to this Instagram account yesterday. Street People of Los Angeles, which has got some very interesting content.

Is that a naked person? Yes, it is. Naked person just changing on the street? Changing on the street. That was actually in San Francisco. I think I remember checking that post,

but this has got some interesting stuff. These guys were like cooking underneath a tree with like a live grill somewhere. There's a Tommy's in Hollywood.

Sorry. Go ahead. Tommy's house. There's always like a bunch of young homeless people cooking in front of it like there's a bus stop they have a lit fire like caveman like like like fear of the walking dead style campfire like outside of the tommy's on hollywood boulevard like on a daily basis how weird it's just weird that that's okay.

Like, if you just wanted to start a fire on the side of the road, would that be okay? No. But can you start a fire to cook? Apparently. Can you, or did they just not get busted? Probably need a permit. Yeah, I think you need something. To be like a grill

street vendor type permit. If you wanted to sell, what if you just wanted to give food away? You can't do that. You can't, but you can eat it yourself. I don't know. Could you offer it to somebody?

It seems like you could offer it to somebody. Like, you know, if they allow you to cook and you and I were sitting there and we're cooking and I said, would you like some?

And you said, sure, that looks good. That should be okay. It's like a donation. Some places, they don't charge you to get in, but they accept a donation. But what if you plan in advance? You say, hey, all of us meet on the corner of 3rd and Santa Monica.

I'm going to have a cookout. And where's your house? Oh, no, no, no. No house. It's hilarious. We're just setting up right here on the concrete. Yeah, those people should just go to a park that has those grills. Right. Griffith Park is not far. Right. Griffith park is like people with homes cooked there yeah they got free grills yeah you could just do it up there anybody can cook there yeah that is one of

the nicest parts of la by the way and if people don't know that is a fucking wildlife area that's a legit wildlife area there is a real predator prey fucking law of the jungle thing going down right now in griffiths park it's mountain lions and deer yeah it is going down and coyotes day and coyotes you are doing all your stuff it's a really amazing place right because here we are we got pasadena and glendale and Burbank and LA. You know, beautiful. Fucking BMWs driving by. Tesla's. Everything's cool.

People are jogging. They got ear pods in. They're jogging in Griffiths Park. They're jogging right near a war zone. Yeah, I hear. It's a war zone. Bush is rustling sometimes because I live around the corner. And I'm like.

Fuck, dude. Like, I'm on. I'm stay paying attention 100 we got a giant framed picture headed to the studio of this mountain lion that was photographed by a camera trap you know what a camera trap is nah um they set them up to uh monitor the numbers of wildlife and to just try to get an accurate assessment of what's in the area so what it is is is like a camera. That's the photo. It's a camera that operates on motion detection. So as this cat, this probably 150-pound, super muscular,

grown-ass mountain lion with a fucking collar on his neck. His name is P-22. That's what it says. Does it say up there? Is it just P-22? It's about 119 pounds as of May. Okay. So it's not quite that big.

So it's still big enough to kill everyone in this room. If it's in the room with us, we're fucked. But look how muscular it is. I mean, that is a, look at the size of its goddamn forearms. Those are Franco Colombo forearms. That is a terrifying animal. And that animal lives around where all these people are jogging. It's a really strange situation.

Yeah, I'm never going to Griffith Park again. Fuck that. It's a great park. Yeah. They don't fuck with people. Until I saw P125. I'm out. Stay in my house, bro.

Look at the Hollywood sign behind it, though. It's so perfect. It's almost like a fake picture. That is so close to me. Yeah, so close to you. I went to the park yesterday park i'm like a block and a half away from that joint dude i run with a knife oh yeah i do i run with uh this fucking half face blades knife it's called the shpos subhuman piece of. That's what the name of the knife is. It's the same he's eating here. Oh, Jesus Christ.

So they caught him here. Look at that. He's got blood and bones. He's eating something. That must be like a deer leg. Fucking A, that is madness. And he's digging a hole in the ground to stuff it in there to save it. Fuck, man.

Because you know what? The deer around there are really comfortable yeah but that could be a kid man right 100 could be a kid but i know why he's there because the deer in that neighborhood like they walk around in the daytime like they're tourists too because there's no hunting around there so they're like all comfortable and shit i think people probably feed them too yeah so then now the line that's like oh let me track these motherfuckers over to this area and i'll just have a feast it's a buffet night look at this shit it's on mahalan drive there's a on mahalan drive there's a grown-ass mountain line

with a collar on that's got a giant deer on the ground a buck not giant it's probably 100 pound deer on the ground dead on the on the side on the side of the city street it's a civilization yeah civilization and this is a cat that's killing deer with its face that's where we live and not only that we know where it is we have a collar on it we're playing this game you don't fuck with us we won't fuck with you and they won't fuck with you for the most part the The problem comes when they get old. When they get old, they get real dangerous. Because they get desperate.

They can't catch a deer anymore. So they go for the easy kill. They go for people. People are easy. Yeah, your kids are easy. I'm going to go hiking with somebody slow. That's a move. Go hiking with a small, slow person.

Someone who just doesn't look like a challenge at all hey man survival of the fittest go smoking with someone who's smoking just smoking the meat makes it more attractive it's hilarious what we eat affects how we taste it's got it right so maybe maybe like people who are in really into junk food they'll be more attractive they have a sweet taste to them yeah i bet right if you just eat candy all day i bet you taste delicious yeah the human skittle attack the human skittle over here leave me alone that fucking cat is so big man imagine just seeing a 115 pound cat in the room with you you'd be like oh jesus christ, my dog is probably maybe 75, 80 pounds, somewhere in that range. He's not a-

Marshall. Yeah. And if he wanted to kill me, he probably could. Right. I mean, he's a golden retriever. They don't kill anything other than squirrels. But if he wanted to, I mean, I don't know. If he had that mentality.

If he really was crazed, like 28 days later, he got that rage virus in him and he just went after me. He's got giant ass fucking teeth. I mean, I assume that I would kick his ass because he listens to me. Right. Because I'm his daddy. You know what I mean? Like there's no, he's never, I've had pit bulls That growl at you a little bit And you gotta kinda like Hey motherfucker

I'm the one who gives you your food Cut the shit And then they give you their paw And then they're sorry You play a little game with them A little dominance game Especially when they're teenagers And they're like one and a half

Two years old They'll test you Just to check Cause it's natural for them It's natural for dogs Goldens don't ever do that He don't growl at anybody They're just obedient

He's the worst guard dog of all time. You come over everybody, he loves everybody. He loves you. He loves people like he's never, not like he's never met them, but he can't believe he hasn't seen them in so long. It's like a long lost friend. He loves burglars. They're long lost friends. Everyone's a long lost friend.

Hilarious. Everyone. Everyone is a long lost friend. It is. That's what it's like with him. He's such a love sponge. I i would be jealous if i if that's my dog i'm like so i'm not special yes just that motherfucker that's how dogs are like really friendly dogs every new person is another opportunity for a new person to love them too and so they they get so excited to meet people smart do when people come over the the house, he's so hilarious.

He loves everybody. Like, I can't believe it's you. And they're like, I've never even met your dog. It's like, it's you? You're here? This is amazing. And he just starts whining and running around in circles. It's hilarious.

But if you wanted to, you'd probably kill me. I mean, if a rat was that big, I would fucking put my money on the rat. On the rat. Right? And dogs kill rats all the time. Even those little dogs, like Jack Russell's. Those little tiny dogs, those are designed to kill rats. Hilarious.

My ex had a dog, right? And I was holding the dog. And she got into a car right across the street and moved it. And then got out of the car out the car and the dog acted like he didn't just see a jump in the car he acted like she went away for two days i was like she just went to she just moved the car across her you we watched her do it do you remember when we had uh uh Foster, Aaron Foster, on the podcast? He was talking about being able to kill a wolf.

We had to- You wanted to fight one. We had to correct him. We had to go, bro, stop. Just don't. I know you're a beast, but come on, man. We're people. We're made out of like smush.

Yeah. Everything's smushy. It's all so soft. Yeah, yeah. Something that wants to bite your tit, like if a wolf decided to bite your tit, the amount of pain you'd be in would be unbearable. I know. You feel like one of those buns that they give you at the steakhouse. That's what your flesh feels like.

Exactly. Like a steakhouse bun bread. Look at his fucking... Aaron Foster spent four hours on Twitter explaining why he beat a wolf one-on-one. He's hilarious. Isn't he doing a podcast now? Yeah, he's got his own podcast. He started doing music, which is really good.

He just released some music under, I think, Bobby Fino's name. He's a very smart guy. He's a running back. Yeah, he was running back. He's a vegan running back. He retired young, and he's fucking super smart, man. Except. In control.

When it comes to. Yeah, except when it comes to wolves. I think he's trolling a little bit. He having a little fun he's being smart yeah there's like a wolf he could get not any wolf oh yeah there's one out there you can take yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah he can fuck up an old one a declared one with no teeth a grandma wolf old one that doesn't have any endurance anymore he it would be a battle though even then before we get too far off of this i just there's pictures on the Google images sent me down this. This is just north of the Los Angeles Zoo. So there's a, I think this might even be that same chap we just saw.

So this cougar has some food it's eating. And then next picture, the bears show up to take it. And now they're eating the fucking food instead of the cougar. Oh, my God. So this is near us, too? This is 30 miles away, or probably even closer. Who knows? So bears steal deer from cougars.

This is what happens when liberals run a state. Listen, folks, I'm liberal. I'm with you. I know a lot of you think I'm not. There's a lot of knuckleheads out there that think I'm a part of the alt-right or something. I vote left on fucking everything. But you got to stop anthropomorphizing animals. We got to be careful.

I'm on team people. I don't want these animals to die. But I also don't want to go out to my fucking swimming pool and see a bear in there. And they have that in Pasadena. Have you seen that shit in Pasadena? This family went outside and there was a fucking bear swimming around their pool. They have bears in Pasadena? Bro! Big ones. went outside and there's a fucking bear swimming around their pool they got bears in pasadena bro

big ones like a 200 pound bear swimming in this motherfucker's pool do i live here how don't how don't i know this shit not only that you gotta take over man if they decide that this is their spot look at this shit hilarious look there's a few of them it's got the whole family oh my god how many bears are in there? Three, I think. Oh, my God. Dude. These things are no joke. The problem with bears is, too, once they get a spot where they know they can get food or they can get water or they can get something, they're going to come back to that spot.

They get habituated. That's why they have a real problem with people at Yellowstone used to feed them. Right. People would pull in, and then I actually did that or was there when that happened when I was a little kid. I went to Yellowstone. My parents took me when I was probably like seven or eight years old. And I remember just thinking, this is so crazy. You're in your car, and the bears are outside.

They're right there. They don't do it the same way anymore, though. Now they discourage human-bear interaction. They just didn't understand it, I think, as well, which is kind of crazy because that was not that long ago. It was like the 1970s. I just don't understand people's like for ferocious animals. Like, I don't want to kill them, but I never want to feed something that could kill me. But I never want to feed something that could kill me.

Well, I think people have this really distorted idea of wildlife because of movies. If you thought about what the Lion King is, you would never want a lion to die. A lion is noble. I mean, sure, there's a few bad ones. But overall, the Lion King, he's the sweetheart. He's amazing. You think about Yi bear and you think about teddy bears kids have teddy bears i mean we have this weird thing we take polar bears which is the most vicious of all bears and we have them be our friends selling us ice cream and coca-cola they're selling klondike bars yeah we cartoon them yeah and then people grow up watching

these cartoons and think oh let me go pet this friendly thing yeah that was drawn but that's a i wish it ferocious beast yeah i wish it didn't have a history if we just thought of it as a thing like a wolverine right wolverines don't have any there's no one no one feels about a wolverine the same way they think about a bear. Because there's no like cute Wolverines. There's only the ones that you see in like, you know, X-Men. Like the Wolverine dudes. There's just one.

Yeah. But he's like a person. His name's Wolverine. There's no like cute Wolverines because they're so fucking ferocious. Such a monster of a little animal. One Wolverine will fuck up a big bear. Oh, for real for real dude they're fucking ruthless they chase wolves off food how big are wolverines not big man 40 pounds 50 pounds

jeez they'll fuck up everything they fuck up everything yeah everything runs away from them they're just ready to die all day all day ready to die and they're super strong and durable for a little tiny thing. You ever see, you know what a wolverine looks like? No, I think I don't. Pull up a wolverine bearing his fangs. It looks like a fake animal. It's like a super jacked little giant rat bear thing with fangs.

It's like a super badger. Badgers are real similar. And badgers are vicious. I know they're vicious. Fucking vicious. That's a wolverine. Jesus. Bro. I mean, look at the teeth on that thing.

Look at its face. And it's smiling. Yeah. That's a good day. Those motherfuckers are ready to go to war all day. Make weird noises. They're terrifying. Like, if that thing wanted to kill you, you would be fucked.

Look at those claws. The claws and the teeth. Now, imagine that that thing is kill you, you would be fucked. Look at those claws. The claws and the teeth. Now, imagine that that thing is hyper-aggressive, and it's a predator. Fuck! That shit is built to survive. Fuck, man. That is a crazy little animal. They are ferocious, and they are ready to go at all times.

I mean, they'll try to get the fuck away from you. The animal's scientific name means the glutton. It's a pretty apt description. Four feet tall, weighing 22 pounds for females and 40 pounds for males, these fierce creatures are the largest members of the weasel family. They're fucking weasels, bro. A vicious weasel. Still, they're small compared to some of the animals they compete with for food,

but a wolverine has no problem standing up to wolves or a bear when a meal is on the line. Isn't that crazy? 40 pounds. The way bears are to us is the way, or we are to dogs. You know, like an 80-pound dog would probably fuck you up if you're a 150-pound person. That's how wolverines are to bears. A 40-pound wolverine might fuck up a 200-pound bear. And the bear's like, damn, this ain't worth it.

When I die, I want to come back as a wolverine. Yeah. It's a vicious-ass animal. They eat caribou. They eat hares and rodents as well as larger animals like caribou that are weak or ill, but will also scavenge from any carcass they can get their claws on. They also eat vegetables and berries. Frozen meat isn't a deterrent.

Their upper molar that sits sideways at 90 degrees lets them rip into ice-covered carcasses their teeth are so sharp and strong that they can even eat bones whoa damn once they got food they often bury it to save for later mere hours after a meal they'll go on the hunt again ferocious ferocious little fucks ugly as shit too yeah so we don't have a cutie one of those right we don't have a cutie one if we did we'd be like the wolverine hi mr wolverine hi kids i'm here to help you and guide you through the forest no they're here to eat your kids i'm waiting for some woman to bring on on the plane as a support wolverine oh yeah for sure yeah some crazy

it's always a woman yeah and always one that's like over 50 and on all kinds of medication. If you're a dude and you bring a Wolverine on a plane, they'll beat you to death. We'll beat your ass. Has a Wolverine ever killed a person? There's some women that'll get offended by that. Why does it have to always be a woman? Is it you? It's not you, right?

Right. I'm not talking about you. Right. Why do we have to be gender specific? You know what I'm saying? Like, if I'm saying, oh, it's probably a woman, it doesn't mean that he know women. Right. What it means is, it's probably really a woman.

Right. If you had a guess, just being honest. Because the peacock person. That was a woman. That was a woman. But in the defense of women, a guy got an emotional support alligator recently. What an idiot. It was a guy. an emotional support alligator recently. What an idiot. It was a guy.

And he's an idiot. But I hear about that and I wonder how many of those people, including the peacock lady, are doing it just for attention because they know that people talk about it. I think people that have, like I saw this girl in San Diego, La Jolla.

She came to the restaurant with her micro pig. That's not real, you know. that's not real you know that's not real they met they made those yeah whitney cummings explained it to me she adopted a pig and then kept it and then fed it and then drove some ungodly amount of time like two days to texas to drop it off at a pig sanctuary that's how crazy for animals whitney cummings is so through whitney i learned that pigs are just pigs. There's no micro pig. It's just a pig that they don't feed.

Oh, for real? For real. So they just starved it and it just stayed small? They just keep it from getting big by not giving it a lot of food. That's not cool. And then they pawn it off on a sucker. It's a pig. Exactly.

It's got to eat. Exactly. It's a greedy little pig. Yeah. I mean, they're famous for getting fat. That's what they love to do. So they'll pawn it off on some person and then because they can't afford not to feed it no the person doesn't know any better they think they're getting a micro pig oh it's gonna be small and cute forever no you're gonna have a thousand pound pig if you if you feed it everything

it wants to eat it's gonna keep growing it's like damn how did my pig grow it's supposed to grow pig there's no micro it's like micro people like if you look at people from like the civil war day they were all 125 pounds well why was that because they didn't have any fucking food right the same guy today probably 200 pounds yeah especially with mcdonald's and all that stuff and everything in it oh yeah even just eating regular food. Right. Just like real meat and potatoes and vegetables and shit. You're not going to be 125 pounds. That guy was probably starving.

Yeah. They probably didn't have three meals a day back in the Civil War era. And snacks. I read this book by this pool hustler. It was McGurdy, Life of a Billiard Hustler, I think it was. It's a really interesting book because it was about a guy who survived by traveling around on trains like a hobo, gambling, playing pool and billiards in the Depression. But during the Depression, he was talking about almost starving to death.

They would knock on people's door and beg for food. And people would just come out with a plate of food and give it to them. Everybody was on the edge. People had to really rely on people's door and beg for food right and you know people would just come out with a plate of food and give it to them like everybody was like on the edge people had to really rely on people they didn't like rely on people for food there was no fucking jobs right there's a lot of people back then you know we're looking at these homeless folks and like for the most part my opinion is you're looking at people probably have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness yeah it's a lot of that. I think it's a lot. I don't know what the number is, but I would think it's a lot. And then there's also people that make mistakes down on their luck.

And then people that had terrible childhoods, horrible abuse, sexual abuse, violence, the evil parents. Parents die, leave them alone, foster care, all that kind of shit. It's not their fault a lot of times. And as as humans we should do something to take care of it but on the other hand yeah and we just don't know who's who out there yeah exactly who's mentally ill who just needs help and the mentally ill people man they need help too but like how do you force them to you know how do you force them in a tree oh how do you just get them real help so that because yeah the way they do help people with pills and all that stuff some some of it works and some of it doesn't work you know what i mean and some of it's just like creates a

dependency on something yeah so it's just like the the system just from the beginning needs to be fixed right and not just like pills and like have you ever been on any kind of psych medication no have you ever taken adderall no me neither i want to though you do jamie gave me a little bit of adderall once allegedly and uh i didn't take it i looked at it i'm just like i don't do it man scared of speed yeah i think i gave it to you because I haven't taken it either. I had it for a long time. I was like, I don't think I'm going to take it.

Do you want it? I just, I've known so many people that do it and they get real weird. They get weird. And it is a, it's an amphetamine. And when you take amphetamines, especially if you don't take amphetamines responsibly, really strange things happen. And one of the things that happen is people get really paranoid. They get really weird.

They start having delusions of grandeur. They start thinking that what they're doing is very important, that a lot of people are out to take them down. And you see that with people that do too much Adderall. They don't follow the prescription. They just start chewing them all day. Woo. Things can get real slippery.

Like meth slippery. It's like meth. Meth slippery. That's what it hurts. That's what it's like. Because I guess they get immune to it. So they got to take extra. Oh, yeah.

Definitely. And then the more you take, the worse it gets. Yeah. Tolerances are real for everything yeah i assume i mean they even have tolerances for snake venom you know one of the things that snake handlers do they'll give themselves a little bit of venom every day to make themselves immune to snake venom right and your body's an amazing adaptable thing which is why vaccines work right so why these crazy fucks who don't want us to have vaccines like listen you know

we gotta be real careful with claiming expertise on this shit we gotta be real careful with getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies we gotta be real careful of that too but we also got to be real careful of not listening to these doctors and researchers that are struggling to find the ways to cure these horrible infectious diseases because they've got a lot of them nailed through vaccines. It's so confusing out there. You can make an argument for any team. Sure. Anything you can.

So it's tough to figure out. I know a lot of logical, intelligent people that think that vaccines cause autism. And I'm not a doctor. So I don't know if you know that. Yeah, I think. I think not a doctor so i i don't know if you know that yeah i think i think not a doctor no um but uh i've heard logical intelligent people argue that that vaccines can cause autism like man you're not a scientist like how could you say that because you saw it in a documentary i know it's interesting when you see something in a documentary that sounds good you want to relate it's fact i'm as guilty as that as anyone probably more guilty than most i'm guilty of doing that a lot but just recognizing that over time i've

gotten to this point where i'm like maybe i should just shut the fuck up about something that i don't actually know about and try to figure out what it is instead of saying what it is what they what they do know is that vaccines have stopped the spread of a fucking bunch of awful diseases saved a bunch of plagues smallpox that lindsey fitzharris woman who's been on the podcast jamie she sent me some image of uh some people with smallpox a bunch of stuff about smallpox is horrific right just horrific with how it kills you horrific they nip that shit in the bud with vaccines maybe maybe they've changed maybe maybe some vaccines do give people autism that's what that guy's back looks like. Maybe some vaccines do give some people autism, but overall, most of the time, it helps everybody. There's going to be some things that affect people differently, but that means you can't stop taking it or giving it to everybody.

That's no consolation. To stop them from having. Right. It's no consolation having right it's no consolation if you get autism from it or if your child right autism from it yeah but it's one of those things that's but everybody else that grows up without it right you know it's a messy thing about being a person right right like it's not it's not like clean pro like are you pro-abortion well i'm pro-abortion up to a point right Right. Right? When it gets to be like seven months, that seems to, you know, it gets longer in the pregnancy. That seems like, if you're talking about like the first few days, yeah.

What is that? Like three cells? I'm pro-abortion if I get the girl pregnant. You know what I'm saying? As far as it takes. As far as it takes. As far as it takes. Yeah, it's a weird, you know, with many, many, many subjects.

Right. There's like a weird, well, it's not exactly, well, it's this. You know, there's a vaccine court for a reason. Vaccines have done damage to people. Yeah. People have gotten injured from vaccines where during the injection site something happened. Peter Hotez was talking about that. He's a doctor that's a specialist in infectious diseases and vaccines.

And he was explaining that there's five environmental factors that they think, or five factors they think contribute to a child possibly getting autism. They've narrowed it down to these things with the most current research. But they're all during the womb. It's contact with things during the womb or in the genetics of the mother they think that's it has something to do with the developmental process while the child is in vitro in the woman's body not after birth they don't think it occurs after birth but i don't know that i mean they could be wrong then it could be current and then they could change that opinion a year from now they can find new evidence that shit happens all the time yeah exactly it really does it happens all the time but what we have to do is

make sure we have fucking people that are working on this shit trying to figure out the way to stop diseases because otherwise some spanish flu type shit comes rolling around some simple shit and kill everybody that spanish flu killed millions and millions of people in the 1920s and it doesn't sound lethal at all it's just spanish flu it's just like how did that kill people sounds like a drink yeah yeah to bring that full circle back to downtown la that where typhus outbreaks have happened last couple times not the exact same thing as typhoid fever i think but it's very close it's a new one it's a new one it's a new typhoid that they don't have a fucking vaccine for i was down there the other day just trying to buy donuts downtown yeah it's

the the allure of downtown has escaped me everybody everybody thinks it's amazing with jamie and i talked and we've been talking about this forever we wanted to get a loft in downtown like up high and start filming podcasts up there because i think that would be the coolest backdrop right like for for youtube like you and me sitting here and behind us you just all building like some time square mtv shit lights and shit like that would be an amazing backdrop for a podcast green screen that now and be safe yeah i can't do that if i was gonna green screen something it would be like current events shit. It would be like Melania Trump slapping Donald's hand away.

I'd be like, did you see that shit? That would be what I would do. I wouldn't pretend I'm in the savannas. You know what I mean? Like behind me, there's a cheetah creeping up on me and everybody sees it. Like, does he know? Does he know? I'll be sitting in Griffith Park.

Behind me is a mountain lion munching on a leg. I was meditating in Griffith Park. Behind me is a mountain lion munching on a leg. I was meditating in Griffith Park. Oh, dude. Like one morning, and I hear rustling in the bushes, and it was a coyote just waking up. They bite you. Yeah, and I was like, I can't do that anymore. Close my eyes in Griffith Park. Yeah, you go camping out there, they'll bite you.

They'll check that you might be dead. They'll take a bite. Yeah. If you're just lying there, like, damn, maybe he's just recently died. He'll just bite you. They really will. They really will. They're predators.

That whole thing is so strange. People are so strange how we just, we think it's cool. We think it's cool to be around these bears and mountain lions and shit. And we have urban coyotes,

ones that, like, you'll see walking down the street at night. Yeah. My neighbor had two little dogs and one of them was really old so then she had to walk them one at a time because she saw a coyote one time coming up on him and she couldn't handle both of them so she takes or she used to take each dog out to walk at night one at

a time take a gun shoot that fucking rotten dog right in the face. That's what a coyote is, a dog. Not her dog. I was talking about the coyote. Actually, it's a wolf. It's a small wolf. It's a small wolf. Yeah, a coyote is a particularly durable and resilient form of wolf.

It's a shitty wolf. It's a really interesting wolf. There's a great book called Coyote America by Dan Flores. I learned about him through my friend steve rannell i think he was his professor in one of his um one of his courses um but he is a guy who spent an extreme amount of time studying the history and the science behind coyotes really really interesting book but one of the things they found out is that when you kill a coyote they just make more coyotes that's why they're so many of them yeah like they know

they spread out yeah they when they yell out they yell out they communicate in a lot of different ways they yell out when they kill something sometimes they yell out when they're trying to figure out where each other's are they also yell like a roll call like because you know it's hard out there so they're like hey what's up ian hey jamie where are you jamie they do that that's part of what they're doing and uh when one is missing they the female there's some sort of a chemical or biological reaction and her body makes more puppies oh she's like we're fucking tonight yeah i didn't hear jamie we're fucking tonight they make larger litters damn so if a normal litter would be like four pups if someone's missing

they'll make six or eight something along those lines so now we can't kill them well they spread out too in the 1700s and 1800s you know when people first started going through the west they're you know they were around but then when we started killing them they spread to the entire country they're in every single state so they weren't like this way no no they weren't everywhere they're a west animal they're a western animal and then they went bro they're in new york city oh shit for real yes for real there's coyotes in new york city they have little packs of them running around time square get out of here bro for real dude there's little coyotes that are wandering through central park listen i get that there's mountain lions in griffith park i get that there's urban but new

york city i might have made up the Times Square part. But that's bananas. They're deaf in New York. I'll check Times Square. I know they're in New York because there was... They probably came from upstate. They've seen them in buildings. In buildings? People have seen coyotes in abandoned buildings where they've decided to make a nest in an

abandoned building. They're all over downtown LA. Damn. Here's Central Park. Central Park. Bam. Coyote motherfucker. Damn, bro.

On the streets. Coyote. Okay. On the street. So I was telling the truth Yeah, they could go to Times Square easily Yeah, they're everywhere I'm almost like a tourist

Exaggerating Coyote That is a small wolf That's what that is And we're infected with them And here's the thing This is what you have to be aware of That's the gentleman that

Go back What is his name? Justin Brown Yeah, Justin Brown was on the podcast He tracks coyotes all throughout downtown LA. He's a wildlife biologist that works for the state. Really interesting. In downtown LA.

So instead of being at a ranch outside of Bakersfield and Tachipi Mountains, this guy is a coyote. Same trap. Same camera trap got that? Yeah. Get a picture of that too, young Jamie. Order that bitch up. Make a note. Yeah, why not, right? We should have a coyote that too, young Jamie. Order that bitch up. Make a note. Yeah, why not, right?

We should have a coyote picture too. We can't just have a mountain lion. That's rude. Let's show all the crazy shit that's wandering. See if they got a bear in that camera trap. Yeah, hopefully they got a bear. I like how the coyotes are so used to being around that the way they walk down the street is just like regular.

Yeah. Like no trepidation whatsoever. Look at that. Just wandering. Yeah. used to being around that the way they walk down the street is just like regular yeah like no trepidation whatsoever look at that just wandering yeah yeah whistling walk i remember in 1994 the first it might have been 93 first time i ever came to la and i was staying at the oakwood gardens oh yeah you know those oakwood apartments yeah on Oakwood Apartments. Yeah, on Barham. They're in Burbank. They're a furnished apartment. It's where you stay when you first come to L.A. You don't have a spot. You don't have enough money to get it up.

And you don't know if the show you're on is ever going to last. Yeah. So I stayed at these Oakwood Apartments, and I was driving up the street to the apartment, and I saw coyotes. I was like, what is this dog doing just wandering around? And then I was like, oh, shit. Those are coyotes? I couldn't believe it

it's funny i pulled over and i'm looking out the window there's three little wolves isn't it funny how that moment when something you never seen before you see it and it takes you a second to realize what it is and then you the word for what it is comes to your head right away yeah like you knew it was a coy, even though you never really seen a coyote before. I was in denial. You was in denial? Yeah, I was thinking it was a dog. Like it was three dogs.

And then I had to pull over and I'm like, I remember people telling me they'd seen coyotes. But I thought it was like I saw a mountain lion. Like if someone says I saw a mountain lion, you're like, holy shit, you did? That's pretty rare. Right? Have you ever seen one? i've seen two live yeah i've seen two live ones while you like out there yeah and what happened one of them ate my dog that's when i lived in colorado yeah and you was right there no no i was this mountain lion was casing the house i think right and we saw it in the woods at one point in time and then another one i saw in santa barbara in montecito driving through a neighborhood i saw this animal run

across the car in the front of the lights and i saw its tail and i was like holy shit that's a cat i take it back i have seen some mountain lions really you know phase on love yeah he moves all over the place but one time he lived in san diego me and hugh moore went to visit him and we was at his house hanging out and at night he was like look out the window in his backyard and there was like mountain lions in his fucking backyard more than one yeah there was like two or three of them what and all i'm thinking is like how the fuck are we gonna get to the car like oh my god and he was so casual about it and i was like wow yeah yeah that's time to move son yeah um jamie do you ever see that video from colorado where uh a guy looked out his window there was three mountain lions on his driveway like super clear iphone footage this guy uh or

android phone i don't know i don't want to use it yeah yeah it could be could be an android he was saying this weekend he takes more shit for using an android phone than for being a vegan yeah for being a black vegan what else comedian yeah yeah you get more grief yeah for having an android phone yeah it's a weird little battle, right? It's like Republican-Democrat type shit. Yeah, it is. It is. Like, people with iPhones really ain't trying to have it. Well, it's not just that.

It's like there's teams. It's like the fucking Orioles are playing the Yankees. Yeah, yeah. You know? People get on a goddamn team. And the iPhones are the Yankees right now. It's weird, man. The phone thing is a weird thing. It's weird that people are so, they're really like so tribal.

That they're tribal with their phones. Yeah, they made a tribe out of phones. People can make a tribe out of anything. And what's really crazy is the biggest company, the ones that's the most desirable, is a company that also makes computers and they they make their own shit they make their own hardware right like that's what's really strange about apple like they make everything they make the software they make the hardware they the only there's only one you have different models but there's only an iphone you get an iphone rxr whatever the fuck it is x xs max

but it's only an iphone that's all you get you don't get it you don't get anything else whereas android you got hundreds of brands yeah see there's so much variety everybody yeah but choose from jamie's like but you gotta have you gotta be able to deal with that green yeah when the green comes in people get offended by the green bubble i have friends that i go uh one of those is green even smart people but maybe if they're smart and your bubble comes a green it means something they know something it doesn't look green to them that's the thing yeah my messenger is pretty cool looking yeah all my texts is when they come in like they're all what do they look like just gonna show you see if it counts well i think mine are oh they're blue yeah blue so yours come in blue anyway so it looks blue what do you have a note yeah a galaxy note nine yeah that's the shit i

have one of those yeah see that's my other phone yeah you told me yeah that thing is badass yeah it's a beast of a phone that screen is amazing yeah it's so big and you like you get the whole screen there's no cut out yeah and it goes down the side and shit yeah but i got it just in case like i'm on the flight and i want to watch something on it right or just somewhere you want to watch something on it you download it and you have a full screen yeah instead of having like a getting an ipad on top of that right because people have just too much shit do you ever use the pen though that pen is useless to me yeah i just like like signed the document today like yeah like chandra needed a w9 signed a w9 form for me and i just like

downloaded it signed it and then emailed it back wow yeah i've never used it yeah maybe it's just me i draw dicks on people's heads that's a perfect use for it but i also feel like a rebel when i use my android phone i do it's hilarious i do i feel like a rebel fucking i'm crazy man fucking trans out here when do you use your android like like so you have your iphone yeah so when using it more more often i'm transitioning out of one phone number to another which i have to do often oh okay yeah so you have two different numbers yeah okay getting used to it play i play with it a lot they got a new one that's coming out there's a new one that's coming out that looks amazing do you know 10 no 10 yeah it's coming out like in a couple weeks yeah i'm i

try to hold on to i don't try to get every new phone i try to hold on to it for a minute so i feel like they didn't rip me off and then maybe three or two phones later then i'll get the other one but if i buy every phone i feel like um i want to be a rebel within the rebel you know what i'm saying i'll get some old shit yeah yeah i got some old shit you're not gonna get me like in this loop of just buying buying buying it's comparison yeah that's you know a weird thing like that phone they could stop right there that phone's perfect like it does everything yeah what more do i need they probably pictures makes videos get on the internet ask your questions give me answers send emails what the fuck else do i need don't you don't

it does everything unless they come up with some new shit but if someone said hey ian i'll give you a million dollars but you got to use that phone only for the rest of your life would you say yes this one yes that's crazy right yeah that's that yeah they'd say listen if it breaks we'll replace it but that's your phone forever i know it'll i know it'll slow down. Well, Apple phones will slow down because they engineered them, and that made me sick. That almost made me stop using Apple stuff. I was like, I can't believe that you guys are attributing this to battery life. That's disingenuous.

And then they admitted it, right? Well, they admitted it, but they said they did it so that it would give you more battery life because your battery degrades over time, so they engineered it. That is a convenient. They also must have understood that people were going to get frustrated with the fact that it slowed down considerably, and it would give them an incentive to buy a new phone. To say that they didn't say that, like, come on. You guys are so goddamn smart, you make iPhones. Right.

They figured out everything, but not that. You didn't figure that out? You figured that out on purpose. Yeah. You also are one of the most successful businesses of all time. Apple has billions of dollars cash just sitting there. They have so much money. They got Pablo Escobar buried money.

They got so much money. Yeah. Apple has something like, how many billions of dollars does Apple have? 225 billion apple has so much cash cash that they could they could probably wipe out half our debt what's like this is what they could buy right now and still have 25 billion left over they could buy nike ferrari damn twitter the manchester united franchise and the manchester united football team and still have how much left 25 billion left i say football for people like yourself that are aficionados thank you sir i

didn't say soccer i appreciate that do they say soccer um where you from like originally uh in england yeah no not in england in england's football yeah only in america they say soccer but before the like where did, where did it become football? Was it always football in Europe? It was always football. Well, why when it came over here did it switch over? No idea. Why didn't they come up with another name for football?

Because you hardly ever kick a football. I think they were playing football, like the soccer football, and then somebody picked up the ball And started running with it And they started tackling each other Like I heard some story like that And then they kind of created football And it evolved from there

But then they never changed the name Isn't that weird that like football is called football When the only person who kicks it Is the guy who can't even play the game Is the least significant person on the team As far as getting pussy when there's a championship yes that is weird yeah and you're not allowed to hit him right right and you're not allowed to hit him yeah that's crazy you can't hit him it's not while he's in motion of his a vulnerable person they try to be safe oh so you can't hit him while he's kicking? While his leg's up in the area.

Oh, that's so ridiculous. What a bitch-ass rule. If you block the ball, yeah, if you block the ball and then you can hit him, yeah. But isn't it crazy that that's football? There's only one time it gets kicked.

Right. How is that football? What a silly name. Right? Doesn't make sense. But I'm not mad at it. You know, it's like fine. It's whatever. Imagine if they at it you know it's like fine it's whatever imagine if they called you know baseball what would they call it foul if they called it foul we're playing foul

it's something that happens every now and then this game has nothing to do with running around the bases because it's it's about touchdowns you call it touchdown yeah play touchdown because it's just yeah baseball it's just like we're trying to get from base to base. Yeah. If they call baseball touchdown. No, if they call football touchdown. Touchdown, yeah. Call it the NTL, National Touchdown League.

We're going to play touchdown. That's the game. It's not football. Your foot doesn't have shit to do with it except running. I'm looking through an explanation of why we call it soccer, and it's more confusing than we care to go through. When you go back to England, if you're from England

and you're talking about it, do people, do they resent the term soccer? Like, how does that work? Some people do. Like, I used to resent the term soccer. Really?

Yeah, but I live here and it's like, get over it. You know what I'm saying? As a person, I got to get over it because it was my favorite sport growing up.

Yeah. So I just got over it. And then now I even call it soccer. My podcast says soccer. I don't even say football. But when I go to England, I just, or just when I'm around football, soccer people, I say football. I get it. Yeah. It's like if I was talking to someone, they wanted to talk about pool, but they want to call it bumper pool.

Oh, okay. That pisses me off. the the woman's world cup they won the world cup in uh united states did for uh soccer and but it's not you know it's football to people like yourself it's the world cup like how can they call the world cup soccer to appease the one country that gives the least amount of fucks about the sport right no weird yeah that's weird that's the power of america that's crazy if you really stop and think about it we made them change the name of their thing yeah we're like ah we're not gonna get in there we'll call it soccer okay we're a part of it but we're calling it this they call it do they call it football in like argentina yeah okay everywhere football you know but it's football just their pronunciation and spelling of it.

But then Australia, they're the rebels of the rebels. Oh, yeah. They have their own rules. They have Australian rules. Football. They changed the rules. Right. For more ruggedness.

Yeah. Because they're too, you know what it was over there? They were too used to rugby, like those New Zealand savages. So they had to, yeah. Yeah. They're fucking savage. you can't play that bitch-ass game with a helmet these guys are running around biting each other in the dick and the scrums right that's the most rugged game anything to win that's the game they should play

in america all the cte problems they're having you'd have a little bit of that with with anything contact sports you're gonna get injuries but i think you'd have less with no gear. So both those things confuse me. I don't know the difference between rugby and Australian rules football. And I think in Australia, they play both. So that's just, I'd be just confused. Like, what is the difference? Well, the ball's different, right?

They both seem like. What's a rugby ball look like? They literally look about the same is it no different not no there is slight differences but they look about the same it's like a football with more rounded edges and it's a little more plump as far as i know they could be playing with a round ball i literally don't even know yeah i have no idea what a rugby ball it's kind of like it kind of looks like an american oh that's it it's a cross between a basketball and a football yeah it's like a fat

football yeah so that's an australian used football though it's similar to a rugby ball okay so that's not a foot rugby ball but it's close so there's probably like football australian rules football and then rugby ball right what is the rules what can they do yeah what are they doing different it's also sometimes referred to in the media as the round ball game what the world game and international football australian football referred to as australian football hmm so i think i think yeah it's a little more like fluid like the game doesn't stop as much there's less stoppages they kind of just keep going okay it says it's a little more fluid where players can pretty much run around where they choose they still have a specific end side goal to score but it's more open in between another main difference is that the game is played in 20 minute quarters

not halves i was trying i told you a couple while ago they're adding three verse three basketball to the olympics coming up and the way that that game is played is so different than traditional basketball. It's just a running clock. Once you score, you just take it out, throw it back, run across the line, go score again. It's a very fast-paced game. So they're bringing, like, park ball to the Olympics. I think so.

Apparently it's very popular in Europe. It's not like that big three basketball that sort of started here. It's not that same basketball, but it's popular, I guess. When Will Harris was in here will harris has this uh show called anatomy of a fighter uh he's a videographer and he went to dagestan to watch khabib nurmagomedov who's the ufc lightweight champion who's a fucking animal man he's just he's one of the rare undefeated top of the food chain fighters in mma they play a game of basketball in dagestan where

they don't dribble the ball at all they just like wrestle each other to the ground and they even choke each other and get each other in arm bars and shit so that this is it they're just practicing jujitsu yeah they're well look they don't they don't dribble at all they're basically playing like a football type but they're shooting at the basketball hoop. But they throw each other to the ground. And Khabib will fucking hip toss dudes because they have it right next to the wrestling mats. So part of what they filmed was he was in a wrestling match with this dude when they were trying to take a player out. So he grabs a hold of this dude. And when he grabs a hold of this dude, he drags him to the ground and gets him in the back gets him in an arm bar gets him in a rim naked choke it's crazy makes the guy tap and then he

doesn't let him up like here it goes look look he grabs him like they're allowed to do this the guy slips through he gets them they're grappling first of all they're grappling on the fucking hardwood floor full blast grappling and then he takes him to the ground like this is serious this isn't playing around he takes the dudes back now they're on the floor again they're on the hardwood floor and he's fucking choking him out he just conor mcgregor him and then they keep going and as they keep going he's getting the guy in an arm bar later this is this is like look at this look at this this is basketball for white dudes that can't dribble. That's all this is. It's like, how do we... I don't know, man.

I think this is the most effective way to use wrestling with basketball. Yeah, definitely that. I think they just wanted to make something that's like a really hard workout that's very competitive. I don't know if other people are doing this in Europe or if this is just something that Dagestan figured out. But, look, these are some of the most savage fighters in the UFC. It does look fun. It looks fun as fuck. Unless you get Khabib on your back.

They just don't have access to a very good basketball and pump to keep it pumped up and the floor is probably not good to be dribbled on so they just figured out a better game to play instead of dealing with that fucked up ball and court. That's a ridiculous way to think, Jamie. These are world class fighters. They travel all over the world. They have all sorts of gym equipment.

They have mats. They have weights. They have everything. That ball's missing skin on it. That's a shitty basketball. I've played with lots of basketballs in my life. You would never even try to dribble that. Oh, it is missing.

You'd find another one. It's like American football slash jiu-jitsu slash basketball. And a lot of courts, too. Like, if you have a dead spot on a court, you almost don't even want to play on it. But, dude, they could get another ball. They all have brand new sneakers on and leggings and shit. I mean, it's not like Dagstan's in the middle of nowhere.

They get goods there. They could, but they might just like this game better. They're just like, fuck it, we're playing this because we're all better at this. That, I think, I think it helps them. I'm saying that your leg made you go one-on-one with the basket. Maybe I did not understand the rules. They make them up.

But you said it was like I was swearing for no reason oh they're they're like they're they're talking out a dispute yeah how do you argue with khabib you can't that's the top dog yeah that's the beast of the fucking crew um but yeah it's it's weird what what people like get really into like cricket cricket is one that the europeans brought over to india right they brought it to the west indies they brought it to any country that they colonize and all those countries love it and they play it oh so it's a colonization game yeah and then now they have like almost like the equivalent of like world cups of cricket and all the countries australia is a big cricket country because they

you know so it's a big thing the west indies and everything strange looking game too right it's just boring oh it takes takes days to play sometimes days yeah yeah days yeah for a week i think sometimes yeah yeah for one game yeah yeah how many hours a day long too many oh my god it's too many man i i used to kill me it was fun to play in the backyard because you can just get some sticks and stick them in the ground and then put one across the top as a wicket this is a game i have no idea i couldn't even draw you a picture of what the stick looks like. It's just three sticks. Three sticks? Like three sticks, and then you put like one on top across all of them.

So you're out when the guy who's pitching or bowling, and you swing, or if you don't swing and it hits the wicket, and they knock over kind of like bowling sticks, then you're out. What? Yeah. And then you get points that you're trying to protect the wicket protect the wicket and hit it so far that you can run from stick to stick you and your partner who's batting at the other end and then the most amount of runs you

can get that just adds to the score can i see that i want to see that that sounds so weird pull up a video of dudes playing cricket i don't think i've ever watched it oh yeah i think i've seen like highlights on television maybe that's not a funny video you know it's funny that you've never seen cricket not a fucking no no chance i don't know see i'm already stunned by their outfits yeah this guy didn't have nothing on. Some dudes are covered up in gear. Those are the guys with the helmets. Because the ball is hard as fuck.

I got hit by a cricket ball by the strongest kid in school one time. Oh, this is crazy. And I was like, I'm done. The way they throw it is so weird. What? Like the guys in the outfield don't have anything because they just catch the ball barehanded, right? Yeah, barehanded, yeah. Oh! And I feel like they should have mitts.

Look how he throws it. He runs at you he runs and literally tries to hit you with the ball that's crazy and does it have to hit the ground first is that the deal yeah i think yeah it does it does from what i remember because it seems like it but the dude like runs across the line this This is a bullshit game. It's a 100% bullshit game. I'm not a big fan of baseball. I used to play it. I think it's kind of boring.

Yeah. My wrestling coach used to say, it's not a sport. It's a skills game. It's a skills game. It's not a sport. You ever see a baseball player so fucking tired he had to push himself? He had to push himself. Coach Murph. Coach Murphy. Wrestling coach in high school. baseball player so fucking tired he had to push himself i had to push coach murph coach murphy

wrestling coach in high school also same guy tried to get me to play football when i weighed 135 pounds crazy asshole yeah maybe he saw some natural athlete shit in you no i just thought it was mean oh yeah that was mean i'd be good that was mean i was a wrestler that'd be good you put him in a great safety probably just fucking people up. I would get crippled. That's what would have happened. We had a dude on our team. His name was Bob Baker. He weighed a good solid 300 pounds.

Oh, for real? He was so big. Maybe not. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but he was 250. He was our heavyweight. And I was like, how is he and me? How are we going to play the same game where he could just run me over? Get the fuck out of here.

What did he want you to play? I don't know. It didn't get that far. I'm like, you're crazy. I was already fighting too. I was doing martial arts and wrestling at the same time. I'm like, look, man, I'm not doing that.

I'm already doing shit that freaks me out. Physical shit. And scares the shit out of me all the time. I don't want to get scared by even bigger people. At least martial arts

and wrestling was confined to your own weight class. You know? If I had to wrestle some badass dude, at least it was my own weight class. Yeah, this is like the weight scale

is all over the place on a football field. Yeah, man, it's all over the place. And the athleticism is all over the place too. You get a guy like Herschel Walker, and if you're in high school and there's a Herschel Walker in high school and he's on some team that you're opposing, good luck, fuckface.

There's people that are just superior. Just superior. There's not a damn thing you can do about it. There are people like that in martial arts, like when you're all wrestling? Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's things like that. And outliers. You know, there's outliers in all sports.

And a lot of it has to do with what you did growing up. Sometimes people do things growing up like a lot of wrestlers. It turns out working on farms as a kid is a great way for wrestlers to be super strong. You know who make good wrestlers? Cowboys. Oh, yeah. Because they get the cow. Yeah, they got to get a hold of that fucking cow and drag it to the ground.

They do it all the time. They practice on them. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, also, they're tough. Yeah. Because you're going to get banged up a lot. And a lot of it is like mental toughness.

Yeah. You know, but people who have to, like there's a dude, Matt Hughes, he was like one of the greatest welterweights of all time. And he was ungodly strong. Right. He was a dude from Illinois. Because he grew up on a the greatest welterweights of all time and he was ungodly strong right dude from illinois because he grew up on a farm grew up on a farm wrestling animals i was at a party one time right i was at a party one time and he's thrown by these rappers i used to write on this show lyricist lounge so one of the rappers master fool dude from brooklyn was friends with these cowboys it's a great name name, Master Fool. Master Fool. He was dope, too. He's like the Flava Flava of the rappers for that group.

And he's just like, he just talks to everybody. So he became friends with these cowboys. They came to visit L.A. for a week and live in the house with the rappers. And, you know, they were real cowboys. They, like, have their lassoos out on the set and shit like that. So then at the party, this black dude with dreads got into an argument with one of the cowboys they were like we're not gonna fight in the house so everybody walks around the corner to the street and in five seconds that cowboy had the black dude with dreads

tied up with his hands just this like twisty tied his body right and had him on the ground bleeding jesus and then they was like all right let him up and let's start again and he got up and he just did it to the black dude again and i was like i'll never fuck with a cowboy if if a cowboy is a wrestler if he knows how to wrestle too both of those things yes wrestlers are so goddamn strong you don't realize until they grab you and you realize how helpless you are it's a weird feeling and even if you you can wrestle if you like i wasn't a good wrestler in high school but i made it to the states and uh i remember when uh i was wrestling this kid who eventually became friends

with because he's he's to come to nautilus plus which is a place where i was wrestling this kid who eventually became friends with because he's he's to come to nautilus plus which is a place where i was teaching taekwondo and we ran into each other when we were both like 20 like probably 20 or something like that it was really cool he was a really nice guy his name is murphy too i don't remember his first name might have been that might have been his first name a lot of irish people named murphy it Murphy. It's like the most common name amongst Irish people probably. But I was like doing pretty good in like regional shit. But this guy got a hold of me and I was like, fuck. Oh, shit.

It just made me realize like this is another level of wrestling. He had been wrestling all of his life. I had only been doing it for a year. He just ragdolling me around. I was like, fuck. Damn. And he wasn't even like a champion. I don't think he won the states and then

whoever did win the states didn't win the nationals so it's like there's like tears levels and then like a national high school champion ain't shit compared to a division one NCAA all-american college wrestler damn those college wrestlers are off the chain and then they ain't shit compared to like Jordan Burroughs right it's not that they're not shit i should never say that about i mean just saying that in comparison because i admire them almost more than any other athlete because there's no professional venue for what they do one of the more amazing things about wrestling is they go into it knowing there's no professional sport there's no perfect other than you know pro wrestling is different it's it's entertainment but there's no professional 135 other than, you know, pro wrestling is different. It's entertainment, but there's no

professional 135 pound wrestling, 180 pound wrestling. There's none of that. They just love it. They just love it. And it's the

toughest thing to do physically. They're fucking animals. But then when you get to the top of the top of the food chain,

like a multiple time world champion like Jordan Burroughs, he had a wrestling match with Ben Askren and he just ran him over. Just ran him over. And Ben Askren is one of the best grapplers to ever competeren, and he just ran him over. Just ran him over.

And Ben Askren is one of the best grapplers to ever compete in MMA, and he was also a two-time Olympian. Wrestler. Yes. And that guy. He ran him over. Damn. And Ben Askren runs most people over when he wrestles with them.

Shit. Yeah. Levels. Levels. Levels. Never ends. Speaking of Askren, is he awake yet? He's awake.

How is he doing? He handled it like a champion oh good yeah he uh went on uh ariel helwani show and talked about it and just said yeah it sucks the guy's a douchebag he's like it sucks losing to him uh you know i don't like him he said uh you know he just what can he What can he do He's not gonna read the comments He's a smart guy He's a very smart guy But He took it like a man To be able to go

And do an interview Right after you get knocked out Like that Is very admirable But that's who he is That's how you get to be A guy who's as good a wrestler As a guy like Ben Askren

Right You can handle a loss like that What do you think of the I forgot I can't I can't pronounce The guy's name who beat him. Jorge Masvidal. Masvidal, what he said after the fight.

He said he would smack him if he saw him at Whole Foods. Yeah, I think it's just a little too much. You won. But I don't know their history. The history is rough. Excuse me. It's like 10 years of them giving him a hard time, of Ben Askren giving Masvidal a hard time, according to Masvidal.

A lot of talking shit, which some people think is friendly in Masvidal. Street Jesus doesn't fuck around, all right? You want to talk shit to Street Jesus, he will fucking make fun of you after he flatlines you, and that's what he did. He flatlined him in five seconds made him the fastest ever ko in ufc history and then mocked him afterwards and said he would smack him if he saw him at whole foods but see we're talking about it so masvidal is smart this is a yeah yeah this is an amazing marketing ploy i mean he's he's become in one fight the most talked about fighter in the sport because

he did something in the sport that's been around for a little bit that nobody's ever done before yeah ben askren was undefeated yeah undefeated and masvidal comes out flatlines like that and talks some pretty vicious shit after the fact and even mimicked him laying on the floor. Which would look scary the way he was out. Yeah. Masvidal was saying, calls out, easy Conor McGregor. I want to break his face. Yeah. That would be, that's a rough fight. That's a rough fight for Conor.

Masvidal is a big fella too. I mean, he really belongs at 170. That's where he's fighting. He fought at 155 but really tortured himself to make that weight. Right. He's a big guy. You're talking about a guy who knocked out Cowboy Cerrone, knocked out Darren Till, knocked out Ben Askren.

I mean, he's knocking out big welterweights. Big. Darren Till's a big welterweight. He's big. He's not a guy coming up from 155 pounds he's never making 155 pounds 55 155 sorry yeah so he's one weight class uh heavier and he's really running into like the last few fights he's coming into his own he's like really becoming something special he had a real close uh decision loss to Wonderboy.

I wish I could remember how that fight went down. I just think it was a decision. I don't know if it was a split decision or unanimous decision, but I think it was just Wonderboy outpointed him. I don't think there was any knockdowns or anything. That was Masvidal? Yeah, it was Masvidal. But Wonderboy is a particularly difficult guy to fight,

and especially for three rounds. Pettis recently knocked him out, uh pettis just hit him with a perfect punch and that can happen to anybody and pettis timed it and pettis is a beast pettis is wild yeah he's a wild man he's he's a fantastic fighter like losing to him it's like yeah you lost to one of the best fighters ever and he also like he's a guy who dropped tony ferguson i mean pettis knocked out cowboy serroni pettis knocked out joe lozano this crazy head change pett. I mean, Pettis knocked out Cowboy Cerrone. Pettis knocked out Joe Lozon with his crazy head change. Pettis is a monster. Pettis is like, he'll win one and then lose one. Yeah, yeah.

Well, it's a crazy division, man. It's filled with murderers. Just murder after murder, both divisions, 55 and 70. And I think Pettis is probably going to do real good at 70 because he's healthier. I think he went down to 145 and it almost killed him. It was just too much, man. He had nothing in the tank. And then Max Holloway beat him up.

He lost to, I think he lost to Charles Oliveira. I think so. I might be wrong. He might have caught Charles Oliveira. Hmm. I don't know. Pettis has the most legit, crazy look in his eye that I've ever seen. Pettis won, right?

He choked him, right? He choked him. That's right. That's right. I'm confused. He lost to someone else at 145. Who else did he lose to at 45? Max.

Barboza. Oh, Barboza was 55. Poirier. Dustin Poirier? I don't think that was 55. And he lost to Tony. Maybe that was 45. Wikipedia doesn't say what weight class they're fighting in.

He lost to Tony, right? Yes, he lost to Tony. He broke his hand in the fight, but it was a great fight. That was a great fight. He wound up dropping him. Oh, okay. So, Edson Barboza and then Oliveira, I think that was 55. I think Max Holliday was 45.

I don't know, man. I'm not sure, though. And then he went back up was 55. I think Max Holloway was 45. I don't know, man. I'm not sure, though. And then he went back up to 55. Yeah, the Dustin Poirier fight, that was he got injured, and that was at 55. That was a catch weight. They fought. He was at 148 for Max. He missed the weight.

Oh, he missed the fight with Max. Yeah. So he's trying to get down to 45. So featherweight debut was against Oliveira. So he submitted Oliveira in So featherweight debut was against Oliveira. So he submitted Oliveira in his featherweight debut. So he had two fights at that weight, and that weight was torturous for him. He didn't make it for the Max Holloway fight.

And then Jim Miller's definitely a 55-pound fight. All the other ones are 55 until he got to Stephen Thompson, and that was the last one. Wonder Boy, that was at welterweight. Yeah. That was an amazing fight. I mean, I think sometimes these guys, it's just too much, man. It's just too much. He beat Michael Chiesa.

It says he beat Chiesa. And Chiesa's another one. He was fighting at 55, and now he moved up to 70. Yeah, that ended up being a catchweight fight. These fucking guys man they're killing themselves that weight cutting oh right you know imagine if that was the case with soccer like before a soccer game everybody had like you had a certain amount of guaranteed weight on the field imagine like ian you know your whatever position it is you have to cut down to

130 pounds you'd be like fuck right right so you gotta drain your body in a sauna and then everybody weighs in that everybody rehydrates and then the next day you play this grueling ass game yeah that'd be ridiculous right fighting is the most tiring thing it would totally compromise the game wouldn't it yeah imagine football players had to do that imagine football players only had like you want okay guys whatever the team is it has to weigh 4 000 pounds that's it no more and so you have to decide hey you know bob can't cut lower than 260 we checked his body fat joe you're gonna have to get down to 180 jamie when we were kids playing football we had to weigh in and that sort of happened we like yeah because uh if you were certain weight like you had to have stripes on your helmet it means you could only play like on the line you

couldn't be carrying the ball because you'd be fucked no no kids could tackle you fuck them all up so there was like definitely a limit i remember i did have to wear the trash bag and like cut five pounds or try to i don't fucking know how much i weighed but it was so i could be a tight end and catch the ball because i was a little i was like on the border dude that was that's so bad for kids i had a friend in high school, my friend Steven. All of his brothers, like 6'1", 6'2". He's like 5'6". He never grew. And it was because all throughout high school and junior high school, he was cutting weight and wrestling.

Damn. I guarantee you it had something to do with it. Everyone else's family is tall. And he was always tired. Or his dad is not. His real dad. Oh, no. His brothers look just like him. Oh, okay. He was always tired. He'd his dad is not. His real dad. Oh, no. His brothers look just like him.

Okay. He was always tired. He'd be walking around the hallways like this. Because he would do wrestling camps. He would do the whole thing. So he's always wrestling. He was always exhausted. Always.

It's a terrible thing for kids. The fact they still have kids do that is fucking madness. It's madness. People didn't know any better. My parents didn't even ask me. When I got on the wrestling team, they didn't ask. You're not cutting weight, are you? parents didn't even ask me when i got on the wrestling team they didn't have you're not cutting weight are you they didn't even ask me yeah they had no idea did you just listen to the coach coach tells you to lose weight you gotta lose weight fuck so bad for the body it's so bad for your your brain too because it dehydrates your

brain and then you're in class you're trying to listen in class and you're fucking it's worse than being hung over that's true because all they tell us to do now is drink water and and stay hydrated and then you're doing something that's like you can't put anything in your system you're just trying to drain it out it does affect you mentally yeah yeah when you get dehydrated your brain works like shit right like they say that's one of the things that happens to people in the desert. When they start dying of thirst, they can't think straight. Right. They don't make good decisions.

Yeah, I've been fatigued like at soccer practice. And you just, like you'll be wearing an opposing player's shirt. And just from fatigue, I'll just pass it to you. Just to not have to have the responsibility of this ball. You know what I'm saying? For real, it's like, fuck it. And I'm trying to make the team at the time. And I'm like making just blatant mistakes.

I'm just so tired, man. Yeah. Fatigue makes cowards of men. That's Vince Lombardi's line. It did that to me in college. Were you following Adam Green tree at all his story at this point in the video he said he hadn't had water for like 18 hours and he's still climbing uphill and needs to find it yeah great that's insane well he had to get rescued i don't know

if he broke his arm i haven't chatted with him but he thinks he broke his arm too it is uh if you go to my friend adam green tree's instagram adam dotree. He documented this hunt that he went in for a thing called a Himalayan tar that lives in New Zealand, and it lives in these alpine mountain areas. I don't know if it's alpine. These mountain, dangerous, slippery mountain areas. And he got stuck out there, and he had to get rescued, and fell into the frozen glacier river and was freezing to death had to climb into his sleeping bag soaking wet yeah really dangerous fell thought he broke his arm yeah i was worried

that he might have broke his leg did he pull out his camera and film half of it too probably i don't think he filmed much of it he filmed some of it but he was having a really hard time and then he had to get rescued and he had to go somewhere where the helicopter could land so they could winch him and and carry him up and rescue him and take him to the hospital fucking dangerous shit there's a lot of these guys like adam who's a good friend of mine who uh loves to go on these like vision quest solo adventures so he'll go to the mountains and camp out by himself for 28 days And he films it And puts it up on Instagram Right

Where he's talking to himself And like hunting elk In these like Mountain areas And last year That's his campsite Last year he had a One on one encounter

With a grizzly bear Oh shit And he had a pistol with him And he's documenting him Trying to hold off This mama grizzly Who's standing up In the background

She made several charges at him And he didn't even know that the pistol was jammed the ammunition was the wrong size so the the lever like when you cock it it couldn't it couldn't fit another bullet in there so he had a dummy gun he's pointing a gun that's not even real yeah because so if you pull the trigger nothing would happen so then he realized that that was a problem when he i guess he tried to fire it uh to make sure it does work or something. So then he had to realize that he could put one bullet in the chamber, but he couldn't reload. He couldn't reload. Like musket style.

Yeah. So he had one bullet. Essentially one bullet. The wrong ammo for the pistol. And you only get one shot with one of those charges. You don't even get one, man. When they're running at you, you are shitting your pants you can't believe it you're you're gonna miss half the bullets if you have 10 bullets if you hit it once you're lucky right it's madness because you're not gonna shoot when it's 10 feet away from you you're gonna shoot as

it's running towards you and you i don't think you're gonna be able to hold that position it's too crazy what is the bear doing when it's like making charges at him but not coming at him? Trying to get you to get the fuck away from its babies. Almost always. Almost always. Get the fuck away from my babies. It's almost always a woman. A female bear, rather.

Protecting their cubs. Yeah. They don't fuck around. Some asshole that might be a hunter. He might be hunting bear. He might want to shoot my baby. Oh, don't know yeah you might just be a you know they don't think of humans as a good thing humans are dangerous right you know it's not our fucking they're predators yeah i'm surprised bears don't attack humans just more often based on that like how do they distinguish

who's a hunter and who's not they don't think of hunters as being something they should attack they think they should get the fuck out of there because when they see guns go off and then a bullet hits a bear right next to them that bear kind of explodes and screams in agony and falls to the ground they just want to get the fuck out of there and not have it happen to them right so if they've seen that ever in their life they've seen a bear get shot which if you're in places where bears get hunted it's very likely that they've seen that ever in their life, they've seen a bear get shot, which if you're in a place where bears get hunted, it's very likely that they have seen that. They just run away. They smell people.

They run. They want to get the fuck out of there. So bears look at humans like predators. Only in places where people hunt bears. Right. The problem is when people don't hunt bears, bears have zero fear of humans and then bears wind up killing people. Right. This is what you see in Yellowstone because those bears are grizzly bears and the only place in america

where you can hunt grizzly bears is in alaska and in alaska they have a different attitude now they're starting to open up grizzly bear seasons i think there was one they were trying to do in wyoming and there might have been one somewhere else where they were trying to do in Wyoming, and there might have been one somewhere else where they were trying to do. They do it in Canada, but they recently banned it in British Columbia. And the reason why they banned it is not because of the people that live near the grizzly bears. They're encouraging it because these things are fucking big and dangerous. It's the people that live in the cities are the most people. Like, the biggest population center in British Columbiaish columbia is vancouver right

it's all urban so that's the giant mass of people but the people that live like where my friend mike hawkridge lives those people don't have a say and those are the ones who live with bears right and they have wolves and bears all over the place up there and the black bears which you can hunt those are not even dangerous i mean they're dangerous but not dangerous compared to grizzlies right grizzlies are fucking dangerous so those liberals in those cities making those decisions it could be even conservative people that are animal lovers that just don't understand what a bear is right they're not killing i mean the idea is that they want to stop trophy hunting because you see like cecil the lion that kind of shit that's disgusting and it is it is a

lot in a lot of ways like wanting to go and just shoot these things just to stuff them and put them on your walls there's a lot of weird shit to that that i i totally understand your feelings on it i get it but the grizzly bear thing is a different thing those are the people that were raised on the cartoon and they're like stop killing these cartoons yeah the cartoon version of the animal that they saw growing up so they have no idea well even in africa the exact area where cecil the lion was killed they had a recently killed 200 lions because the lions yeah because so many lions had uh survived because there was no hunting because they came back they came back up it's so weird it's not good it's not ideal the situation is not ideal because it's so so bizarre and twisted the animals survive

because people pay to kill them that's what the african wildlife model in these encaged areas is so they have like 10 000 acres or some shit like that. They put it in fences. Right. And then inside those fences you have zebras and giraffes and all these different animals. And you can come over there and pay and you can go and hunt these animals. That's a lot of the area. So this guy who, that Cecil

guy who shot that lion, he paid like $50,000 to go and hunt a lion. And there's probably one a day two a day three a day so there's hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue coming in this revenue comes in for these guys that want to kill lions and what they do is they use it to raise more lions and they use it to pay professional hunting these people called professional hunters are basically game wardens to keep out poachers and to make sure that these animals don't get like rhinos don't get their horns chopped off

and murdered just just for their horns things elephants for their tusks things along those lines so they need to hire people to protect against poaching because look in africa there's a lot of people that especially in these areas where they have these hunting areas vast rural areas people are extremely poor. Right. And they want animals just to eat. They're going to call that poaching. So then it gets even squirrely there.

Right. It's not an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination. But because no hunters are coming in now because of all the bad press after the cease of the lion shit, they had to kill 200 lions. Because that many got born and grew up and because they have a real unnatural situation over there right where they're breeding these lions and then they put them in the like some every place does it a different way and some places are free range where there's no fence at all that is true there's some places that are like that

right but some places it's all fenced in the whole thing thing's fenced in. It's like a zoo. It's like a fake wild. Yes. It's a fake. They took the wild and they made it fake. Right. They just put a fence around the wild and then they kept introducing food and then they have lions that they keep in very specific areas and they feed them and then they'll transport them to the middle.

And then the hunter comes that day and they tell him where the lion is. And the guy goes out there, boom, shoots the lion and poses with the lion. It's perverse. Yeah, that's kind of bananas. Perverse. Yeah. On the other hand, these animals that are in there, particularly like the antelopes and black bucks and nilgai and all these crazy wild fucking antlered creatures, they're in greater numbers than they've ever been. So it's so twisted

it's like the numbers are so high because people want to come in and pay to hunt them right but then the numbers are high so people can hunt them it's not like so that they can keep the whole wildlife ecology free in rome and look how vibrant africa is now that we've stepped in with all these conservation dollars not really no it's fenced in. And then people drive up to a spot, get out, boom! Take a picture. It's weird. We fuck up everything. Great job. It's weird. Great job, people. Yeah.

We're the best. I'm reading an explanation of a person that has gone to this park in Zimbabwe to go see the lions. And they've done this in the past and they went back more recently. And this is hilarious. read this thing here then our host gave us our safety orientation he told us to speak to the lions in a calm voice approach slowly and to pet them on their backs only then our host handed out skinny sticks to each of us he explained that if a lion approached

us in a threatening manner we should swish the stick back and forth in the grass to distract them what what let me eat you there's a jesus christ it says that they thought they were going to go see like child baby cubs in a cage definitely not they're like 18 months old almost you know a little bit older they're probably so they're adolescent lions yeah like this big i saw this video like there's a tribe i don't know what part of africa but like if a cheater or like a like a cat like hunts down an animal and kills it like these these these people from this tribe like they track the hunt and then once the animal or the cat kills the food then they'll scare off the cat i saw that and take it and they have these little sticks yeah

and then the fucking cheetahs and whatever run away from them and i'm like it's so crazy i saw that i watched a video of that on someone's instagram yeah well you gotta do what you gotta do when you're hungry yeah you take a chance yeah then i mean unless they have a really good weapon it's hard to get an antelope you gotta get fucking close right but a cheetah can just chase it down but if i'm a you would think it's it's just crazy that a human could take a cheetah's food. Yeah, it is crazy. Yeah, they do it with lions, too. They do it with spears.

They run up on lions with spears. I've seen that, too. Like female lions just roaring at people while they drag away their food. There's a robbing a lion. She goes back to the house, and her husband's like, where's the food at? I got robbed. Well, what we do here in cities is so recent and so unnatural it's not like anything that anybody else has ever done before

in terms of like uh human beings up until about 10 000 years ago there's never been shit like this supermarkets and stuff like that yeah all of it and no interaction at all with nature right you know our interaction with nature is reserved to you know squirrels fucking pigeons and shit birds yeah having a dog even fucking pigeons are weird they're brought over here as food oh they were yeah they're everywhere you could you could eat pigeons they're delicious apparently i never had one i don't think a lot of people, like, they just don't look at pigeons as food. No. Yeah.

Most people. Yeah. 99%. They have pigeon seasons. Actually, maybe they don't have a season. Pigeons might be like wild pigs where they're considered an invasive species. They're not supposed to be here. They're not from here.

They brought them over here for squab. You ever heard of squab when people eat squab? No. Squab is like a fancy word for a young pigeon. Right. It's like lamb. They're not from here. They brought them over here for squab. You ever heard of squab when people eat squab? No. Squab is like a fancy word for a young pigeon. It's like lamb. Lamb is a fancy word for a young sheep. How does a pigeon taste?

You had it, right? Never had it. Oh, never had it. I thought you said you had it. No. I had squirrel. How was that? If someone told me it was chicken, I would believe them. Oh, for real?

Yeah. It tastes a lot like that, which is the most cliche shit to say ever. It tastes like chicken. How do you know if you catch a squirrel if it's rabid on that? If you cook it, you won't catch anything, or will you? That's a good question. I don't know the answer to that. Maybe rabies would die at a certain temperature.

Squirrels are not, well, ground squirrels. at a certain temperature right squirrels are not uh well ground squirrels i was gonna say squirrels are not um omnivores they're herbivores but ground squirrels i'm pretty sure eat meat because i've seen videos of ground squirrels eating a mouse right oh they're fucked up it seems wrong anything eating a mouse is wrong like when you feed a mouse to a snake or some shit like that. Well, it's even more wrong because it's holding in its hands. Dogs and cats that are currently vaccinated and kept under observation for 45 days. Oh, can you get rabies from eating squirrel? Small mammals such as squirrels, rats, mice, hamsters, kidding pigs, gerbils, chipmunks, rabbits, and hares are almost never found to be infected with rabies.

And have not been known to cause rabies amongst humans in the united states okay so rats can't give you rabies that's interesting rat eating is about to go up i saw a video yesterday you're good y'all biting the head off of a rat it's fucking nasty what was biting the head of a guy a guy man where an asian man i don't chew in the whole fucking thing like right off an episode of Fear Factor. It was raw? That's funny. I think it was dead.

I know you didn't see it moving before, but it was fucking sick. You know what's funny? You wouldn't have been able to do Fear Factor in certain countries. They'd have been like,

where's the fear? Right. They're like, where's the, what? We eat that. I got a lot of friends that are Filipino,

especially back in, when I was doing Fear Factor because I was playing a lot of pool. Some of the best pool players are Filipinos. It's huge in pool, with pool rather. But they were laughing at me because they serve balut. They're like, we love balut. Balut is this weird duck embryo.

It's like a delicacy over there. Oh, yeah, I saw that on the show. But people on Fear Factor were terrified of it. And these people are like, no, we pay for that. Right. We like it. Yeah. It's like a delicacy over there. Oh, yeah. I saw that on the show. But people on Fear Factor were terrified of it. And these people are like, no, we pay for that. Right. We like it. Yeah. It's great.

Look at those people wasting the balut or whatever it is. They eat the beak and everything, man. Balut is weird. It's an embryo. It's like a little baby duck. It's very strange. I wonder if you'd even be able to do Fear Factor today. I mean, I know ludicrous is still

doing it but they're doing a different kind of version of it right have you watched one of those episodes just to check it out now no that's like watching your ex-girlfriend get banged do you really want to see that banged badly wouldn't you want to watch her get banged badly see that was better that's a it's weird to take over someone's gig because if someone did it for so long, they had a certain style, how they did it. Please pimp my fear factor. Ludicrous. Right.

Right. Who did Pimp My Ride? It was... What's his name? Exhibit. Exhibit. That's right. Yeah.

Whatever happened to that dude I think he's still acting and doing stuff yeah he was the Pimp My Ride guy yeah it was a huge show how the fuck did that show go away

I know that feels like yeah it feels like I could just keep going yeah yeah it's like one of them pawn shop shows they never have to end yeah

just keep pawning shit yeah do it in different countries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, why would they end? Maybe exhibit was like, done.

I can't deal with these people and their cars anymore. Start making all those other shows. There's tons of car shows now on all those other channels pimping shit. Yeah, but that's the best name. Oh.

Pimp My Ride? That's the best name. Wouldn't you say that's the best name? I think most of those are undriveable. What? Like, yeah,

there's been a lot of like Reddit things where people are like asking for like uh have you ever been on pimp my ride let's tell us about your experience or whatever and like they did so much shit to those cars that would be like hey by the way when this is over go ahead and take half that shit out so you can legally drive it down the fucking freeway if you had not every time but some of the times they had to do that if you had one of those cars cars now from Pimp My Ride, it would be a huge collector's item. It should be worth a lot of money if you still kept it. I think they started bringing it back, but let me see. Here's an article.

What really happened to the cars from Pimp My Ride? I definitely remember a couple of the guys said that they had to stay in contact with a few of the in-house mechanics because they had to keep getting something fixed. Fixed, right. I believe that. They had to constantly drive back to Hollywood or wherever the fuck it was. Right. That makes sense. I'm trying to find...

Well, a lot of those shows, like my buddy Bud, who's been on the podcast before, he used to have that show uh fuck what was it called what was that show where they would steal someone's car and rebuild they would make them think their their car was stolen i can't remember his fucking show god damn it was chip foos chip foos would uh would redesign their car and they would get this fucking amazing car what the fuck was the name of that show? But Bud Brutzman, he used to have the show Rides. That was a show where they built my 1970 Barracuda. Overhauling?

Overhauling. That's it. That's it. Shout out to Bud and Adrian, who was the host. They would take a car and they'd do it in like a really short amount of time. And then after it was over, they would have to like tighten it all up. And when they do a build a car, they have a shakedown period where like they drive it for a few hundred miles to make sure there's nothing goes wrong, everything's working right.

It's like this period of time to make sure that everything's dialed in. They don't get a chance to do that in a week. So that's probably what they're talking about. Yeah, the pin my ride thing i'm reading through it like some of the contestants said they had to dumb up like they had to completely just play the game of this is a tv show exaggerate let's dump a bunch of cigarette butts in your car to make it look shittier than it is and then hey when we show it to you please be fucking happy when you see this we can have a good Like reaction for TV Kind of thing That's disappointing Yeah

God damn it Pimp my ride How dare you That's every show though Yeah That's every show Any like Like HGTV show

Oh yeah Or just hoarders Yeah Like we're gonna have to Hoard your place up Even more Probably right Yeah

Like preppers Those people Probably make them extra crazy i never seen preppers what's that about people were prepping for the apocalypse oh yeah yeah listen we know you're crazy but we're gonna make you look even crazier even down even crazier yeah i don't know man or intervention you know what's interesting to me it's typically right-wing people who uh are in favor of like if you think about uh anytime someone passes a law that's bad for the environment right if they want to drill in alaska if they want to do something

over it's usually i mean this might be generalizing but usually thought to be a right-wing thing. It's like more concern for business than concern for the environment. People that are on the left are the people that are always like the tree huggers. Those are the environmentalists. So the people that are like radical environmentalists, you would almost always think of as being people on the left. Right. But the people that are prepping for shit going south are almost always on the right. The right wing people are the ones who are prepping for solar.

Think the world is going to come to an end. Yeah. Those are the ones that are carrying bullets and they're fucking digging tunnels in their backyard. So you know what you're doing. You know you're destroying the earth by digging for oil and all that shit. But it's not them. It's usually the bigwigs. Right.

Right? The bigwigs. But they're voting and they're in favor of all those decisions that the bigwigs make. Inadvertently. Because the bigwigs have connected themselves to Jesus. Right. That's what they did. That's the wise thing they did.

Yeah, yeah. To good old-fashioned family values and Jesus. wise thing they did yeah good fat old-fashioned family values and jesus they figured a way to to connect it to a thing that everybody can't argue against right they connected right-wing ideology with god and left-wing with abortion killing babies right the line in the sand's been drawn ian if you're prepping for the end of the world right you gotta secretly be hoping for the end of the world maybe a little bit of end because you try your shit yeah just to try your shit and to say i wasn't crazy right and wasting my time so you gotta kind of be rooting for the end of the world like you don't want to you know do all that shit in vain right

you know what i mean so that's kind of a weirdness to those type of people that's a good point you know i mean like you started doing comedy and there's people like you're never going to make it you want to make it to be like you were wrong and to just the relief of knowing you were right well i think that's a problem with cops i think cops want to shoot people sometimes they have a gun and they almost want someone to do something fucked up so they can shoot them not every cop not every not every cop right but there are certain people that should not be cops right exactly those people that become cops and it does happen and we all know and i'm a 100 supporter of law enforcement but even law enforcement they know it they don't want to be surrounded by some weak fuck who's a who's also a cop who wants to shoot people.

There's people out there that want to shoot people. And you give them a gun. If you give someone a hammer, everything looks like a nail. That's amazing. Yeah. I remember the video, and this was a white cop shooting a white guy. The Arizona one? I think it was in a hotel lobby.

Yeah. And that guy is like, how did he become a cop? How did he not go to jail? Yes. They let him off the hook for that one. They always kind of let them off the hook. They'll give him a slap on the wrist and just get them out of there. In the instructions, he was giving this guy, he was telling him to keep your hands away from your waist because his pants were falling down.

Yeah, and the guy was saying that to him too. Yeah, and he's just crying and crawling towards him like helplessly the guy reaches because his pants fell down and grabs a hold of his pants to pull him up the guy fills his back up with bullets shoots him in the back on the floor crawling the guys have no threat was yelling making the situation even more chaotic he's also telling the guy to do something why are you making a him move? Just tell him to lie down. Yes. Put his hands behind his back.

You handcuff him. And then he was ordering the guy to crawl towards him. Yeah. It doesn't even make sense. Did you see this video earlier this week? This was from July 1st. Yes. Yeah, the guy.

This is crazy. This is crazy. This is what's called suicide by cop. This guy was coming towards this cop screaming with a knife. and the cop was begging him to please stop, please stop. This is after they already shot him, Jamie. Yeah, I know. But meanwhile, he winds up tackling this fucking guy. This is what's crazy.

This guy's already been shot, and he turns on this cop and tackles him right here. Tackles him. Look at this. The guy's filled with bullets, and the guy's reaching for his gun. Oh, shit. He gets his back, and he takes him down. And then this guy's not even close enough. He doesn him. Look at this. The guy's filled with bullets. And the guy's reaching for his gun. He gets his back. And he takes him down. And then this guy's not even close enough.

He doesn't have the knife anymore, does he? Yeah, I don't know. I can't tell if it's in his hand right there. It's hard to see. Did you see the video of the black cop walking towards the guy with the machete? Yes, I did see that. And he just like walked right into it and just parried and flipped him over. Yeah.

That shit was crazy. That is crazy. I saw another one that Eddie Bravo sent me of a, it's not a cop one, but two dudes are having a conversation. This guy's got his hand behind the back. And he pulls a knife out of his pocket and the guy doesn't even see. And he just, in the middle of the conversation, just sticks him in the stomach. And the guy's standing there. He moves back and he's like holding his stomach.

He can't believe it. And the guy comes towards him again follows him and the guy who got stabbed winds up knocking the dude out the guy's coming towards him with the knife again saying i'll stab you again the guy hits him with a left hook rocks him and then hits him with the right hand and knocks him out and these are regular dudes regular dudes looks like regular dudes but the dude who got stabbed knew how to fight luckily for him but he still got stabbed knew how to fight. Luckily for him. But he still might die. Knew how to fight and take a stab. If you get stabbed in the stomach, that is fucking very dangerous, man.

Very dangerous. Yeah. What were we talking about? What are you doing? I'm just looking at. I'm trying to find the video of that guy getting stabbed. No, it's not. Okay.

Oh, it's crazy. There's just so much. There's just so much. There's a lot of shit. There's so much to just freak you out yeah i don't i don't even look at some of the bad stuff anymore a lot of it yeah like like i saw at the beginning of that video when it came out like last week i ain't watching this i just like turned it off yeah you can't watch that yeah there's so many videos you'll get convinced that

that's happening everywhere in the world 24 hours a day it'll fuck your head up yeah exactly yeah yeah god damn it Ian no it's easy to get freaked out yeah I mean there's a lot of freakable shit out there there is this is as good a spot as any to talk about this um we i want to make sure i clarify something because there was some there was an operation this is a guy who was a billionaire diamond guy who uh wound up getting a dick enlargement operation and he died because of the anesthesia and it was in another country and we pulled out. We were saying somehow or another it got connected to this company that does that in the United States. It had nothing.

Phenoma? Yeah, the article I had said he was getting a similar surgery and that the Phenoma only happens in the U.S., but he was getting something done in Europe, so it was different. Well, they reached out to me to explain. First of all, the guy died from anesthesia. You could die from anesthesia from any operation. It had nothing to do with the penis enlargement operation,

to use the more correct term, dick enlargement. But he didn't die from that, and that's just as safe as getting your nose fixed or getting your knee meniscus operated on or anything. It's just the just any surgery where you have anesthesia carries a certain amount of risk.

But apparently this dick thing works. They actually can grow your dick bigger now. Well, if you're risking your life, it better work. Well, you're risking your life if you go to the dentist. Yeah. I almost... If they put you under,

like anytime you get put under, right? If anything you're doing with anesthesia, there's a very small chance that something could go wrong. honest yeah i almost put you under like anytime you get put under right if you if you if you anything you're doing with anesthesia there's a very small chance that something could go wrong but it had nothing to do with this dick operation so i just wanted to make sure that people know that if you look this up i don't want anything any uh incorrect assumptions to be out there and i carry no ill will towards this these people that make this and apparently it works so i just want everybody to know that yeah it's carry no ill will towards this company that makes dicks bigger apparently it actually it's a weird thing right like uh for a man to do that there's certain taboos that are involved in even admitting that you have an issue like a little

dick is a weird thing right because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you have an issue like a little dick is a weird thing right because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you can make fun of right like you can't make fun of a little person right like if you make fun of a person who's a you know you're not supposed to call them midgets right you're supposed to call them little people right you make fun of a person who's a dwarf or a little person you're a cruel person right but if you make fun of a guy with a little dick like somehow he deserves it or some shit that's a weird thing that women are allowed to do like you're allowed to make fun of dudes having little dicks we should there should be something in the same vein yes to protect little world what people from from cruelty right because if you have a little pussy that's fantastic yeah everybody's excited about yeah isn't that crazy what a weird situation but a

big dick is a sign of virility all right so we we salute you panuma that's the name of the company we salute you for helping men achieve larger dicks yeah and i almost died from anesthesia one time i thought you were gonna say from a dick in life what happened when i was like a teenager and and here's the irony i was going in for an operation that you're supposed to go in in the morning and leave in the afternoon oh it's just a quick thing and then it was literally for a circumcision i was like you were getting a circumcision? Yeah. What were you doing?

I just had sex with this girl. Like, I was a kid. Like, seven. Like, say, 18. And somehow it pulled the skin of my dick back. I couldn't get it back. Oh, no. I did that to clean it. i couldn't get the the skin back

right over so then i spent like an entire night with like a raw boner with no skin covering it so i went to the doctor then he got it back over and he said you should get a circumcision so one time operation just going and you don't have to worry about this shit happening again but it only happened once right yeah but but you were furiously beaten off though right what do you mean no no no i just i pulled the skin back to clean it yeah yeah officer i was cleaning the gun when it shot my neighbor no it's cleaning there was shit under there yeah so then i went in and they gave me the anesthesia and then when i woke up there was like a hose down my throat and people were frantic around me and it was like night time it was way past the time i was supposed to come back, come to.

And the anesthesia gave me pneumonia. I ended up spending like two, one and a half to two weeks in the hospital. And the first few days was in intensive care. Oh, wow. It was anesthesia. I did not like wake up. Holy shit. Yeah.

You almost died getting your dick operated on. just i was almost that guy and but for the most part listen you're talking to someone who's had a bunch of surgeries i've had my nose fixed i've had my arm broken my hands i've had my knees operated on three times i've had three knee surgeries i've been put under quite a few times it's mostly safe yeah it's really about the anesthesiologist hey jamie just somebody at the door try to figure out that's the security guard okay why is he doing that wandering around he's got a plan i have no idea he's he's got a chair there he must be hanging out up there today some people weird man you never know you know when you get in an uber do you know that they I have no idea. He's got a chair there. He must be hanging out up there today. I don't know. Some people are weird, man. Yeah. You never know.

You know, when you get in an Uber, do you know that they – how much background do they do on an Uber? So I was trying to explain to them. When you asked me the other day, I was like, to get the, like, approval on your app to be like, yes, this car can drive Uber is one thing. But once you have that, anybody you know can be behind that. They don't, like, scan your face when you're in the car every time or anything like that. It's just, yeah, I got the Uber, bro, use it, you know. So if you and I got an Uber, like, I could use your Uber and I could drive around and pretend I'm you. You could get caught, sure, but, like, people definitely do that.

Right, but how many people get caught driving an Uber? No, not a fucking none. Not a fucking none, yeah. Right? Right. Whoever saw that coming, rideshare, being a, Remember when you were a kid and there was taxis? Whoever thought, man, I could have my own taxi? They used to have a shit called gypsy taxis.

Right. And they would arrest those people. Yeah. In New York. Yes. Yeah. They would arrest them for trying to do the Uber thing. Why don't they get an Uber?

Why would they be a gypsy cab? Five bucks. This was before that, though. There was a year that I lived in New York that some insane number of gypsy cab drivers got murdered. Insane. Oh, for real? It was something like 40 plus in a year got murdered. So it was almost one a week.

They were killing gypsy cab drivers. They would rob them and kill them. Did they ever catch that guy? I don't know if it was just one guy. Yeah, those people. They were just deciding that these gypsy cab drivers, I think, this was, you know, boy, we're talking probably like 1990s, 1992 or some shit like that. Like, there was no internet, and there was, I don't know if people were paying ever with

credit cards. No, it was all cash. It was all cash. Yeah. So, if you were a gypsy cab driver, they saw you as being someone who had a wad of cash on you. And then you can't report it to the police because you're a gypsy cab driver. So you shouldn't even be doing it. Yeah, but they would just kill him.

But if you're a criminal, it's a great crime. It's a smart crime. Like, I'm going to rob somebody that shouldn't be doing what they're doing for a living. So they can't really report them report To the police that I'm robbing you yeah, but that would shoot him and kill right the thing is they would just shoot him in The head and it's like they would be considered like maybe these people were illegals Maybe these people didn't have a lot of documentation Maybe when they killed them it would be a dead end because I know what to do

Maybe they were here by themselves. Maybe they figured the cops don't care about. They would definitely figure the cops don't care. Yeah. And, you know, because it's cash and because it's not, there's no meter. Right. So it's like there's no record of everything. Right. Did you find anything about that?

I quickly just Googled it. There was one, I found a story from New York Times, 1983. There's a weekend where 11 people were murdered. But the story just has a story of one guy that was found in the front seat of a gypsy cab murdered could have been a shot could have been a nice it was the 1990s okay it was the 1990s it was definitely well I moved there I think I moved to New York in 91 I think I live there from 91 I lived back and forth in 92 here's a story from 1990 a sixth cabbie is slain in the bronx but it's new york times it's just a wall thing yeah the fifth one was killed yeah i think

there was a there was a long stretch where it started to become a big deal but it's i mean if there was 40 wall street guys murdered murders of taxi drivers in the 1990s originated the creation of pirate taxis. That's kind of the article about it. Since 1980, 180 drivers have lost their lives while on duty in the streets, which averages more than two per month. Wow.

That's crazy. I don't know if that's regular. I don't know either. It might just be cab drivers. Because gypsy cab drivers, how do you prove that guy was a gypsy cab driver? You just got a dead guy in a car with a bullet in the back of the head. And then you have to ask his friends, was this guy gypsy cab driving? Maybe it was a certain style of car too. So that passengers could identify it as a gypsy cab so that they could take it.

And it's like if you're taking a gypsy cab, you have a limited amount of money. And you don't want to pay a cab, but you want to get to where you're going. You have to be identifiable. Here it is. Cabbies risk death daily in New York. Jungle under siege. Crime. Hours are long, and the mortality rate high.

So far this year, 32 taxi drivers have been killed by armed robbers posing as customers. Yeah, and I think that's just regular taxi drivers yeah that's a rough gig man yeah now when we were living in new york imagine if just now you go there it's just ubers everywhere everybody's ubering everybody's just using their phone standing out like the comedy store has become a fucking disaster trying to get oh yeah yeah that's a pain in ass and they just pull up and block the driveway. They don't give a fuck. And no one stops them. Yeah.

And they're just going in there left and right, but just blocking everything, dropping people off, picking people up. Yeah. It's never ending. You can never get in there. It's weird. It's like a new thing that no one saw coming.

What could be the, like, let's play Gary Vee here. What's next? What could we get on the front lines of or something like that? That scooter stuff is crazy. There's like a one-year pilot program, I think they're calling it, for Los Angeles County. That's why more and more have popped up. I think they're just sort of saying, we're going to do a year, figure it out.

No one is going to be, like, taken down for doing this. Or like they were trying in Santa Monica to get rid of them for a minute a minute like the bird scooters and whatnot they've ramped it up completely there's all sorts of electronic bikes now there's at least i want to say six or seven different companies just in hollywood where i live they're just everywhere laying all over the sidewalks but that's sort of what they're trying to figure out is how do you leave them around where are you going to leave them is it successful i don't know how many taxes they're paying and how like how much money the city gets brought in but yeah i don't mind them but it's just dangerous walking because i was walking down the street one day and i was about to just you know you're just walking but you just change your stride a little bit to go to the right

and i almost got hit by one and it was coming fast and i'm like it's the sidewalk you know what i mean like you could it could be serious ass damage problem in la is that you're supposed to be on the street with those it says do not ride these on the sidewalk but it is 100 not safe to be on the streets of la on those because people are getting run over and i don't know if anybody's died but like downtown la somebody driving 50 miles an hour ran over someone on a side or on a scooter. Like, why the fuck are you driving so fast downtown also? Well, there's people that are crazy. Yeah, the hit and runs happen anyway.

They happen all over the place. And then there's assholes. You know, people are going to shoot cab drivers. They're going to run over scooter drivers. Yeah. They're everywhere, though. It's weird to see them. And they've started to ban them in certain places, right?

Some neighborhoods have tried. Like West Hollywood, you kind It's weird to see them. And they've started to ban them in certain places, right? Some neighborhoods have tried. Like West Hollywood, you kind of can't leave them anywhere. But I think cities. I think they're cities. West Hollywood's a city. Yeah, but I mean outside of California. I mean, other cities have just said no more. Vegas, you can't.

No fucking way could you have them in Vegas. All those drunk people. Oh, right. Jesus. Oh, my gosh. Drunk people on scooters. Can you imagine? Oh, shit.

It'd be ridiculous. Drunk people on scooters. Can you imagine? It'd be ridiculous. Drunk people on scooters and drunk people driving while you're on a scooter. Yeah. Plus weed. Plus weed. Now weed. Yeah. How good was Vegas?

It was a good time, wasn't it? It was a good time, yeah. It was fun. You just had me thinking about what could be next. Yeah, what could be next? If we didn't see scooters coming, we didn't see Uber coming, what could be the next big thing? What do we need? What do we need?

We need protection from the ocean. The ocean's going to rise up and take us. We're melting the ice caps. We're going to have to move to Tucson. Boats. They're making more subways here right now. Yeah, they're going to fill up with water. What a good move.

They're going to have one in Beverly Hills. Those are going gonna be canals we'll use those for the toilet in the year 2090 yeah we're gonna throw our shit down those tubes like i wonder man i mean there was some uh shit that i was reading today about the ice caps melting at an accelerated rate it's always it's never good news whenever it's like ice cap melting news like hey we just found out out we actually have more ice than we thought. We're good. Don't worry about it.

Does that mean Vegas can get water now? No? Vegas gets their water. They figure it out. There's so much money in Vegas. They just steal it. Where do they get it? From a hole in the ground?

No idea. Is there a well out there? All I know, they got good water pressure In every hotel I've ever been in It's wonderful Yeah Look that's a human ingenuity And they're building more shit Yeah and if the

Ice caps do melt It'll just bring it closer to Vegas Right Vegas will use it Yeah the water will be like Real close Yeah I mean

We just move inside To the middle Like this is what people Have been doing forever This idea that you're supposed To be able to keep your Fucking house on the water In santa monica listen crazy i know yeah yeah he decided to build a house where the beach is your front yard that is so nuts you think those

cliffs were always there this shit was different decades before so keep on thinking it's going to be like that all the time yeah if you buy like a seaside house in like Marina Del Rey or someone really nice, you're making a gamble. Like over the next, I'm only going to be alive for 40 more years. Right. Over those years, I'm going to, let's hope that this water stays over there. Exactly. Stays put. Let's hope mother nature does what I want it to do.

Yeah. I just, I'm going to spend $7 million on this fucking house with literally no backyard. It's just ocean. And I'm just going to hope it stays like this. I just can't wait till my crib becomes beachfront property. And then I could sell it. I've rented a beach house a couple of years ago when my kitchen, I was getting my kitchen fixed and we rented this house in Malibu on the water.

It was beautiful, man. You would wake up, you'd eat breakfast. Damn. You'd just be sitting there staring out over the water. And the water would literally come almost underneath the balcony. So it looked like you were sitting in water. Right. Like you were floating in water.

You were on a boat. I was like, wow, this is so beautiful. It makes you feel so good. Yeah, it does, being by the ocean but what a gamble yeah even though it's the that's like you sound like that's the ultimate infinity pool yeah you know i'm saying but yeah i i don't mind like la jolla you have the condo right by the beach and then and you go to sleep at night you could hear the ocean you wake up but then i'll be like what if it's this is the night this is the night where you know comes in yeah just takes the building down and rushes it out to the mountains i mean that's happened so many times in history yeah All it takes is an earthquake or an asteroid hits the ocean.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. If an asteroid hit the ocean. We wouldn't even be safe here. We wouldn't be safe. We probably wouldn't be safe in Arizona. It would go deep into Arizona. If an asteroid hit the fucking ocean just outside of Malibu, boom.

Just a big one. Everybody in the Midwest would be laughing. They'd be laughing our asses off. See, we big one. Everybody in the Midwest be laughing. They'd be laughing our asses off. See, we had the best property all the time. Yeah, so we had to duck hurricanes. They have the scariest shit. I think tornadoes are the scariest shit. Yeah, those things are so random.

And they happen every year. Right. Every year. It's not like earthquakes happen every year. A hurricane, you can track. It's coming. You can prepare. You can just leave. A tornado is you can track. It's coming. You can prepare. You can just leave.

A tornado is just like. They just show up. Hey, man. I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. That's the scariest. Yeah.

But that's just something that people deal with. You see, they wipe out entire towns. Yeah. They take towns off the map. I feel like they just always aim for these small towns. Well, I think it has to do with agriculture. If I'm right, I think it has to do with like flat areas and the type of weather that they have. And I don't think they take place in areas where there's a lot of trees and forests.

Is that true? It's more like they don't really happen in cities. Right. forests. Is that true? It's more like they don't really happen in cities because the heat structure and it creates like where the air pressure starts because it's a hot, cold air pressure system

that kind of starts swirling. So because of the artificial concrete and all that stuff, that's why tornadoes? Almost protect the bubble. It does happen in cities from time to time, more like on the outskirts, but like it's very rare to see one roll through a downtown. But does one ever go through like Colorado?ado yeah i'm looking one up right here that's why as you're saying trees i got a video of one like just ripping trees up in texas so like but it does

mostly yes for sure on flatland texas has them yeah yeah well texas uh texas is a lot of crazy wind but so close to oklahoma oklahoma is like tornado valley so anywhere around there there was one that was on tv that was mad it was hitting this area where they had these oil trucks and it was carrying these semi trucks in the air i don't know if they're oil trucks they're semis like can't like a you know like a 16 wheeler like fucking trucking like that it was flying in a circle in the sky like a fucking newspaper you know a page from a newspaper gets caught in the wind so it's flying around this this fucking tornado was carrying trucks like that so it was in this video this

is in missouri earlier this year i don't see it i don't see that's mostly news stuff Yeah but there's a video Oh that's it right there That's the video This is the video where you see While you see the trucks As they get closer You can see inside the fucking thing That is a truck flying in a circle

If this is the same video I don't know if that's it That's the semi after it lands I don't know if that's it. Yeah, that's after. No, that's the semi after it lands. I mean, that might not even be it. But it was one where there's probably so many fucking tornado videos. But it was one where these trucks were literally flying around in a circle. Like it was carrying this gigantic semi and just floating it in the air like a paper airplane.

Was it from Twister, though? Was it some fake footage or something? No, no, no. It was real. It was real. Some news footage from television.

It seems like then it's hard to catch that because all these are just already on the ground. Yeah, no. It wasn't from a distance. It was some news footage. Anyway.

We're just... We're fucking rambling. Speaking of rambling, Ian Edwards has a comedy special. Oh, yeah. When's it coming out? Friday at midnight on Comedy Central. Oh, shit.

Why did you decide to do it in that style? It's kind of interesting. You did it like a TED Talk. Because there's so many specials out there. And I get to do my material when I do it that way. But add a little twist and an extra layer to it. And that'll make people be more interested in it than if I was just going to do like just a regular stand up. That's smart.

You clever bastard. Once in a while, I got an idea, you know what I'm saying? And you got the microphone, a regular microphone just sitting on the stool in case you change your mind. Well, the last bit, I use the mic. You noticed that yes yeah the last bit i do with the mic what is in your hand uh the clicker because because some of the topics i put it on the screen like just like a ted talk you talk you click the thing the picture represents what you're talking about, and then you keep on going.

I've seen people do that before with TED Talks, and I've always thought that would be a good thing with comedy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because even when you look at your stand-up, you take on a topic, you dissect it, and you give people an alternate view of that topic, just like a TED Talk. And then you move on to the next one so like comics like you and me and other people it's a perfect format for our stand-up yeah are you doing that when you do when you headline we do headline gigs no no maybe you should maybe i thought about doing that all right yeah you did yeah i did i thought about it at one point in time but i'm too lazy yeah then you

yeah like i don't have merch or anything so i don't bring in merch i don't want to have to make sure they have a screen or transport one and all that shit then that's true then it gets cumbersome well i heard that kevin hart at one point in time had pyrotechnics like he would hit a punch line bam and 20 foot tall flames that shoot through the sky and arenas i'm like man that's when that's you you add to the stand-up right it's like props but way better right like i feel like props are the rare one of the rare things where you can't do them anymore because carrot top owns that whereas when i was a kid man there was prop comedians yeah there was a lot of them right jamie you don't know about it i just remember a lot of ventriloquists and some people that

were doing little prop things but yet no one really had that truck full of they'd be the comic that show up to the mic yeah with a briefcase yeah and then afterwards he has to gather stuff like a stripper yeah they have a giant duffel bag. Yeah. They have to stuff everything in there. Yeah. There was a guy that was really funny, man. A guy in Boston that used to do that.

Fuck, I'm blanking on his name. But he had glasses, and he had a real similar kind of act. But it was kind of like science-based. He had a bunch of weird shit that he would carry around. Alex Zby nope okay no it was a long time ago you ever seen chips cooney chips cooney i've heard the name yeah he he had props but he he was a fake magician really so like remember the name of that tupperware that's right that Yeah. Like, that was one of his tricks. It's just all goofball shit, but he was funny. Like, you know, and then pull it out. That's the trick.

And just keep going on to the next goofy thing. There was a guy named Lenny Schultz. And he, remember Crazy Lenny? Uh-huh. Yeah, he had a bunch of props. Yeah. I watched Steve Burns' documentary on The Amazing Jonathan that he just put out. It was really good.

Was it? Yeah, as a younger kid, I liked him just because of his zany crazy right shit he did but watching the documentary was awesome so good job doing that what is it yes shout out steve burn what is it basically about like he lived in excess yeah it's definitely about that sort of like his rise and maybe i would say fall but then sort of how he came back he almost died it's a lot too about this uh fan that became his manager and sort of he he came back he almost died it's a lot too about this fan that became his manager and sort of he helped him and guided him along and apprenticed him a little bit and just about the relationship and pulled footage together and it was just interesting

he's an interesting guy wow yeah those guys from the fucking 80s went hard man that was the kinnison era you know yeah if you wanted to be a wild man you had to go hard yeah he figured out how to snort coke on stage he's just like i'll make a joke about it it's supposed to be fake coke but he's really i'm really doing it like a lot so he made a bit yeah huh that was not a prop that's that's real shit yeah i bet people have done a lot of weasley shit like that. Like just put something into their act. They'll pull something off.

You know? Like I would think. Like it's a... One of the cooler things about comedy is also one of the weirder things. That it's so open-ended. Like the club just... Like you get booked at the Brea Improv. Right.

You show up. Like, what's up Ian? How are you man? You know? And you're like, hey, this is booked at the Brea Improv. Right. Right? You show up. Like, what's up, Ian? How are you, man? You know, and you're like, hey, this is my opening act. They shake hands. Everybody's cool. They don't even ask you what you're going to talk about. Right.

They got everybody sitting there. People have paid money. They've sold tickets. They've sold drinks. And they have not a clue as to what you're going to discuss. And you just go up there and say whatever the fuck you want. America. Love it.

Crazy. Yeah. What a weird way Love it. Crazy. Yeah. What a weird way to make a living. Yeah. And then you do the same thing for like a TV show or something. You have to type it out. Yeah. Send it to them.

They got to look at it. That's the beautiful thing about Netflix. Netflix didn't say shit. They just said, hey, we want to do a special with you. I said, great. All right. Let's do it. They said, okay, let's do it. It was that easy. We did it. And they said, okay, we want to do a special with you. I said, great. Let's do it. They said, okay, let's do it.

It was that easy. We did it. And they said, okay, great. You did it. We like it. We'll put it up. Boom. I had to send Comedy Central a proof of concept.

I had to shoot the set in a small club, send it to them, and they're like, all right, okay. Yeah. Well, the good news is they approved. Right. It's on TV. And a special is always, in my opinion, really just an advertisement to get people to come see you. Right, exactly. Live.

Right. So I'm glad the advertisement's out. Oh, yeah. Me too. Because I've said it before. I'll say it again while you're here. You're one of the best comics in the world. For sure.

Listen, so many times people come up to me rogan was talking about you like i don't even have to be on the show like they're like rogan's talking about you and so like people will come up come to a show because you just spoke about me but it's true oh man you and i've been friends for 20 what 28 years or some shit something crazy yeah it's a long fucking time but you've always been one of the best comics in the world you know and i think right now you too brother your new shit man oh yeah you're doing it's not even the special yeah i was crying this weekend in vegas that new thing i want to say what it is but god damn it's good it's really good man i love that you know i love the transition between when someone does a special to writing and working

on new stuff. Yeah, man. Because then you just get this new angles and having to write shit. Right. It's like, I've been trying to tell this to Bobby Lee, who's another guy that is one of the best comics in the world. Right. And it's a fucking shame that Bobby Lee doesn't have a special.

And he doesn't, you know, it's like his thing is like, well, no, no, I won't be able to use that material anymore. Like, yeah't, you know, it's like his thing is like, well, no, no, I won't be able to use that material anymore. Exactly. Like, yeah, but you'll write better stuff. You'll be forced to. I think he's shooting a special, though. Yes, he's talking about it. Yeah, because he asked me who directed mine.

So I was like, wait a minute, is Bobby about to shoot a special? how what you've seen and what i'm seeing now that how great it is to like come up with a new set of material with all their abilities yeah it's very terrifying yeah i've had some some amazing mediocre sets jesus i feel bad i know when you first trot out new stuff it's like you don't know yeah you just don't know and then you said something the other day when we was in vegas you was talking to ali like we was all in the back after the show about how you had a joke that was new it was working you wrote it it's new it's working and then you broke it by over fixing it yeah then you have to take shit back out and that's happened to me during this new set of material too. I started a joke, created it, and then broke it by overdoing stuff to it.

And then I had to figure out what part that I put in there that threw it off and take it out and fix it back. Well, it's always interesting to talk to someone that's really just a few years into comedy. Because then you're going to go over your own process and think about it more yeah yeah the one of the things that happens in jiu-jitsu is uh in jiu-jitsu you get better when you teach it's real strange like a lot of guys that wind up getting a job teaching jiu-jitsu to like beginners their jiu-jitsu jumps that jumps up several notches it's really interesting and i think sometimes that happens with comedy so when we're dealing with something like ali shout out to ali mckoski yeah our friend ali she's only been doing comedy for what four years around somewhere around four or five years and she's just coming

into her own and she's what was she 22 like 22 or 23 22 or 23 very funny very promising and uh she was going to come down and watch us because she came to san diego to watch when uh tony and andrew and i did that uh that giant arena down there because she's because she opens up for me all the time at the improv at the comedy store she's getting to be around all these assassins and she's getting to see it from the outside but that was her first time opening right and i was like because she said she was going to come down to watch i said you want to do a set and she's like i was secretly hoping you would ask i said all right come on come do a set so she opened she did 10 minutes in front of you know it's like 1200 people it's a lot of people right for her first big show

in vegas on a friday night she murdered and she did good she did great yeah super relaxed and but when you're talking to someone who's up and coming like that, I love that. I love talking to like Jesus, Jesus Trio or like, you know, Frank Castillo or any of these young guys coming up because you get a chance to talk to them about how you formulate stuff and you compare notes. And sometimes they have interesting ways that they do it that I never considered, you know. And sometimes people have interesting ways of thinking about their material they think about it when they go walk their dog they'll play their set in their ear or they'll you know when they go

on hikes they'll just go on a hike and think about one joke and try to work the joke out while they're hiking you can find out yeah i've learned a lot from like talking to younger comics too so i get that completely you also the the thing that's happening to you right now is the thing that happens to them, except the fact that you're far more skilled at it. It's like they're trying to put together an act. But you've already done it many, many times. You've already put out specials and records, so that when you're doing this, it's like, you know how to write jokes.

You're always writing new jokes. You've been doing comedy forever. But it's still, you're starting from jump. Yeah. When you start from zero, from ground zero, and then you try to put together an act that you hope people want to pay to see that's a terrifying spot it's terrifying yeah and then there was a part of it in this new set of material that i was doing wrong like like just the style of joke that i was writing and i just felt off like even when some of the bits were working and then i was

in atlanta a few weeks ago and then it just hit me what i was doing wrong i was the laughing skull yeah i was doing laughing so fast yeah it's a dope ass club dope little room and it's a great room to go headlining when you're like got new material that you need to just work out yeah i i say about those rooms like the belly room and like the laughing skull like that's where you find out what's bullshit yeah and i and i found out what was bullshit for sure because sometimes you can like song and dance your way through a 300 seat room yeah trick them like enough people start laughing to get the other people laughing but and then you'll kind of go along with it and with your delivery and you can kind of make funny out of it but there's no momentum with 70 people yeah you have to like

really make them laugh it's got to be real yeah with 70 people you got you know i did uh jeremiah walk-in show stand up on the spot on t. That's the best example of that because you're also, they're yelling out subjects. You know, and so you just get to, and you find out. But that also, like constructing a new set, what's interesting about it is that you get a chance to figure something out and make it real. What, like, Bobby Lee's doing right now is working with tried and true material. Tried and proven. He kills every night. He knows it's going to kill.

If it didn't kill, he'd be stunned. He'd be like, what? This is my shit. I've been killing with this for four years. He knows what he's doing. He's just a funny machine. I don't even know how to describe it. Just him.

He's just a funny ass fucking, yeah. So funny. And not enough people know. Because most people know him from podcasts, and that helps for sure. Just him He's just a funny ass Fucking Yeah So funny And people don't Not enough people know Cause most people know him From podcasts And that helps for sure And from television shows

That helps for sure Right But there needs to be Something people can see Of his stand up Yeah So we're getting him He's listening

It's like he's a slow But he'll listen Right It'll take a little time He listens It's getting in there It's getting in there He's too good

Yeah he's too good The other one's Owen Smith Yeah yes Owen Smith Too good yeah too good has his own style fucking funny he's a murderer yeah man he's a top flight headliner not like a good headliner like a top of the food chain headliner yeah like if someone told me owen smith was selling out arenas i'd be like good should have been happening a long time exactly he's you know and as much as kevin hart or fucking fill in the blank whoever can sell out giant ass places owen smith's material is as good as it gets it belongs in those places 100 100 and sometimes these guys they just don't do they don't do enough uh road work or they don't do enough.

They've got writing jobs or something takes them off the path where people don't necessarily see. They do a lot of acting. It's all different little paths that kind of deviate you away from stand-up. Right. And I think I went down that path when I was on Fear Factor. Oh, yeah? When I was on Fear Factor, I didn't really tour much. It was mostly just being around L. around LA because we were filming so much.

We filmed so many episodes. And you guys traveled a lot to different places? Yeah. Yeah. That shit is exhausting, man. Exhausting. Yeah. And it was exhausting, too, because you'd be filming all day.

You'd be out in the heat. And then you would come back. And after that, I would do stand-up at night. And I was just like, I'm just going to just do the store and then go home come back and you know after that i would do stand-up at night and i was just like i'm just gonna just do the store and then go home right i wasn't gonna travel anywhere i mean i did a little bit but not much so it's like things can be good where it's like it's great to have a good gig right but things those things can be bad because it ultimately takes you away from your stand-up i mean louis Louis C.K. said that to me once. He was in the period after he stopped doing his show. He just stopped doing it for a while.

And he said, I haven't done anything other than stand-up for a year. And I said, what made you do that? He goes, I just wanted to really concentrate on stand-up. He said, I don't think you could be at your best while you do other things. He goes, I think you could be good, but I think at your best, you really have to just do stand-up yeah i think he's right oh he's right even if you don't do much in that day and if you just write one line or one tag or something as this it just counts so much towards the whole thing and by the end of the year where you where you end up is going to be way further than you would have been i think it's not an even formula though because i do think that there's some value in taking some

time and doing things as well right there's like there's value in like vacations yeah there's value in experiences yeah and then there's also you have to do a lot of stand-up there's like both things are true because if you only do stand-up one of the things that does happen is guys lose their point of references right because their whole life revolves around traveling so you get a lot of airplane jokes right and it revolves around drinking because people drink at clubs you don't have enough experiences yeah you got to live a little yes yes to put it on the paper yeah on stage you got to live a little i think that's uh that's something that gets missed but it's like it's not a perfect formula it's also like how much enthusiasm do you have like sometimes the more enthusiasm like when you have you feel good about it when you take time off and it makes you

better right you just have to know it's just like an athlete like like in england the soccer season is over right so the soccer players go on vacation but while they're on vacation you got to get in a month or so you got to get back to training in a month or so but you can't go back to camp out of shape so there's a point where you have to be with a trainer while you're kind of off for the season getting in shape so that when you go to camp you're not out of shape and you're losing your spot on it it's just there's a there's just a delicate balance of everything yeah that makes sense and also it's so insanely competitive right there's so many people lined up ready to take your spot yeah you can't get fat when you're on vacation but so it's comedy it's like when you

shoot a special and then the guy that couldn't follow you is killing because he still has his material that he's been had and you're like not doing as good because you're working on shit yeah it kind of it kind of fucks with me a little bit yeah you know what i mean just the competitiveness of sure and then i just be hey man this is just a competitiveness of sure and then i said hey man this is just a natural order of things just keep doing what you're doing and and everything is going to be fine you figure it out you're growing again there's nothing wrong with that whenever new bits come to life and they start to really work i go okay this is just trusting the process this is what happens you trust the process keep grinding but you have to do that if there's no if you don't put in that time

if you just decide oh i need a new act but you don't work on it it's not going to just show up you have to you have to make that that process is a real thing right and there's going to be some sets just suck yeah man for sure for sure like yeah like yeah you take one old joke go on stage and there's some butter it add to it yeah but one thing is true for sure for me is that when someone like you is writing new stuff and that new stuff kills like this past weekend that makes me excited about writing new shit i go oh my god they're it's out there i gotta find it i gotta find the bits right they're out there look he just found two giant juicy ones you know it's like someone coming back from a fishing trip oh is that tuna i'm calling tuna fishing it's out there it's out there there's gold in

san francisco yes go dig it it's gold in them in our hills but i always see you go find new material so it's always good like like we both had new shit this weekend yeah and we're enthusiastic about it and excited about it so it it adds a different level to just going out to do a show that we would normally do right and we get to talk about it afterwards with the excitement of how new the material is and and how it's coming along and it just that's that's a level of fun right there you don't experience unless you're you're out there writing and growing. Yeah, there's no other way around it. And I think that's a metaphor for life.

I think the people that get stagnant in life, the thing is because you're not taking any chances. You're not doing anything new. You're not growing. Yeah. You got to, I mean, and artistically with stand-up, it's one of the rare art forms where you cannot do the old stuff. I mean, maybe if you're Jim Gaffigan, people want to hear hot pockets but they also want to hear an hour of new shit right you know maybe if you're burke kreischer they want to hear the machine story he says they get mad if you don't he doesn't tell the machine story just take his shirt off he's mad at his clothes when he starts taking his pants off and then just puts them back on hey fucking pants on why are your pants on bro how

dare you we're all partying pants free That'd be his new shirt Partying pants free Hilarious Yeah Partying with no pants Or partying pants free Partying pants free is better

Partying pants free yeah Yeah Burt Kreischer there you go That's the name of your new special Partying pants free Just you fat as fuck With boxer shorts Talking shit about Sober October

Tidy Whites would be way better Really Tidy Whites Go all in Yeah but boxer shorts When he moves funny His dick hole will open up a little bit He can get a peer into the monster

He already wears his Speedos Well how about just Speedos? How about Burt on stage with Speedos on? Speedos don't seem like a comfort move No they don't Seems like a bad decision Yeah Man it's not someone who really wants their dick to be caressed and cradled.

Speedos are like you're punishing your dick. You fucking. It's like a tent in a storm. You're nailing it down. Punishing it or showing it off. Right. Yeah. If you've got a hog.

Yeah. Instead of getting a penis enlargement, buy speedos. Yeah. Just take your circumcised dick and pull it all the way down so it's a full erection. Amen. Take your circumcised dick and pull it all the way down so it's a full erection. Amen. And then put a rubber ring around the base of the balls to contract all the blood, constrict all the blood.

Yeah, that's a weird thing that someone figured that out, right? Cock rings? Yeah. Hmm. How do I stay hard here? There's got to be a way. Put a rubber band at the base of your dick. Viagra.

Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. rubber band to freeze your dick. Viagra. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. That's one thing that if they do ever come out, I used to have a bit about that, if they ever come out with a pill for how to,

like a boner or a dick enlargement pill that actually works, it'd be 30 seconds later the first dude would die of an overdose. Oh, yeah. You're not going to just take one. You're're gonna find out how many give me a stroke yeah how big did you want it jesus christ

yeah i had a whole there was a whole sequence where women would evolve because people would still have sex but the dicks would get bigger and then would develop these flying squirrel pussies they would just jump off cliffs to get away from dudes who were chasing after them with their big dicks and shopping carts hilarious they grow wings why are women growing wings just to fit so people could mate yeah yeah if you could grow a big like have you ever watched a porn and said that's just too much yeah yeah yeah it's like it comes a certain point in time we're like How big do you want your arms Right

Yes Do you want a big arm Or do you want an arm Where the bicep Touches your fingers When you go like this Right Do you want that

Oh you can't even move Yeah that's crazy You can't even move It's too big Yeah Right That means That means you can never do this

You can't do anything Like this Oh yeah You probably can't even walk Yeah You're just too heavy You're probably waddling Everywhere you go

You weigh 600 pounds And you're 5'8 How the fuck are you doing that right there's a there's too much you can get too much yeah you can get too much dick but it's but i bet it's like you get too much i bet it's like those girls who get uh body dysmorphia with their breast size oh yes some girls go crazy like they have triple e's and they need them in F. They get nuts. It's crazy. They don't see it the way you're saying it. That's how it happens with anorexics, bodybuilders.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's goddamn bananas. It is. The dick thing is a weird one, right? Yeah. It's definitely going to happen since women overdo it with the breast size. Like you say, they can't see how weird it looks.

Yeah, it's a normal thing with humans. Yeah. Have you seen those guys that inject their muscles with oil? And it makes their muscles swell up like balloons. It looks so fake. But they don't see it. It's body dysmorphia. It's the same thing that an anorexic gets when they don't recognize that they're they're look like a skeleton when we was at the airport in vegas and we're waiting for your pool thing there was this chick and she had like a weird butt

poor girl and it wasn't real and you could tell only she didn't know that it didn't look real she probably thought it looked amazing right yeah she's walking around like letting everybody confidence yeah at that bitch yeah people get strange because the butt thing is treated differently than the boob thing like a woman with really large fake breasts is still hot yes but a woman with really large fake butts, like, come on. Yeah, that comes off crazy. Yeah. Yes. And fake lips.

It's another one. That's crazy, too. Yeah. Yeah, we have rules. It's weird. Yeah, fake lips is like, what am I supposed to do? Just pretend this is not happening in front of me right now. Well, it's also, it fucks with your apparently we have an

when we see a certain person when see people's faces we have uh an expectation to where things are going to be based on where things are right it's all like the fibonacci sequence like the golden ratio the way your face is designed like like ari shafir if ari shafir had a tiny nose you'd be like what is wrong with your face Your face is supposed to have a big nose. This is like how you're. That style of face. Yeah. It's supposed to come with that style of nose.

Yeah. Right. And if it doesn't, it's weird. But then you look at a guy like Greg Fitzsimmons has a little nose. You know, if he had Ari's nose, you'd be like, what is that nose doing on your face? This is crazy. It's like you fuck with that when you do something to make something bigger or wider or you know with your face you know people get tattoos and different things like suppose people start

enlarging areas of their face you just like getting bigger ears bigger noses what if big ears come in the face dumbo ears it's a new thing well how about those holes where people stretch they do those cages and they pull their fucking ear hole out they put that earring hole at the bottom make it giant yeah like a hoop that's bananas yeah like what are you doing to your ears yeah like i don't want to fuck up the chance of me not being able to hear some shit i don't think it does i don't think it does but it's just i'm not doing anything personally that's close to anything that I need. I need this for what I need this for. I'm not going to do anything to it that might jeopardize it in any way.

I always feel like that about cauliflower ear, too. Like, out of all the years that I did jiu-jitsu, I don't have cauliflower ear because I always wore ear guards. Right. It's like, if you fuck with the shape of your ear it fucks with the way sound goes in there oh man like take your ear and then talk go blah blah blah now put your tip the tips of your fingers on the top of your ear and then fold them down la la la la la la la it changes the way sounds are it changes sound like this helps sound these are speakers these are bows

right you know exactly yeah you're fucking with your bows you're fucking with your bows it's the shape nature figured out a shape to collect all that sound and and get it inside your ear holes yeah but when you're outside of your ears like a rock like a lot of these wrestlers and jujitsu guys they have it's all calcified so that with that cauliflower ear i don't know if you ever touched a cauliflower ear no it's like a rock under the surface like a calcium rock that's what it's like because the it's what it is is the break in the skin it swells up because it bleeds and then that blood calcifies and hardens and the only way to fix it, my friend Brett had his fixed.

Brent, yeah, Brent, my friend Brent had it fixed. They had to cut his ear like a fish. They had to fillet it. And then they had to open it up and scrape out all the hard tissue and then sew it back up together. And he couldn't do jiu-jitsu forever because if he did jiu-jitsu again after the operation, it would break open and start bleeding again. Damn. Damn. Yeah.

I was looking for a picture where a guy gets this part. I've seen people with a plug and a hole on the inner part here. Oh, I've seen that, yeah. But this guy took it to a whole other fucking spot. Oh, my God. Oh, is it his nose? Oh, my God. So you can see inside of his nose and shit.

Oh, my God. That is insane. Damn, man. But that definitely fucks with his hearing 100%. Oh, yeah, 100%. Oh my god That is insane Damn man But like That definitely Fucks with his hearing A hundred percent Oh yeah a hundred percent He's got a Giant gauge hole In the bottom

And a medium Gauge hole In the top And then big ones On his nostrils Where His nostrils He has like

The bottom hole Where his nostrils are And then above The nostrils He's got two huge holes Where you can see The septum He opened up

The side of his nostrils. Quarter-sized hole easily, right? I can't say that dude's real happy. I just don't see it. I don't understand that look. But, hey. Hey, man. What are you going to do?

Ian Edwards will be with me with Dave Chappelle. Oh, shit. In Tacoma, Washington, and then Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City the next day which is august 3rd tickets just went on sale um i don't think so they're i don't i think they're on sale on friday yeah but they went on pre-sale the way dave does it you have to register as a legit fan like a human being they have to make sure that you're not a ticket agency that's scalping these tickets buying them up in mass and then selling them right so ian edwards it would have. They have to make sure that you're not a ticket agency that's scalping these tickets and buying them up in mass.

And then selling them back. So Ian Edwards, you have to show your driver's license or something. I don't know how they verify it. And then once you register, then you could buy the tickets. And it's for those people for a while. And then after that, then it's opened up to the general public, I think, on Saturday. Something like that.

But Ian's going to be with me donnell i don't know if rollins yeah i don't know if uh that's been announced but i just announced it donnell rollins gonna be there too i'm fucking pumped we're gonna have some that's gonna be crazy those are gonna be wild that's gonna be fucking crazy bro like if this weekend was crazy that weekend is gonna be fucking crazy tacoma sold out in a day yeah 20 000 people it's gonna be nuts no sleep i'm not expecting any sleep no we're gonna have some fun 000 people it's gonna be nuts no sleep i'm not expecting any sleep no we're gonna have some fun yeah yeah it's gonna be crazy yeah all right so uh tell people your special it's this weekend uh friday this friday july 12th on comedy central at midnight check it

out ian talks bill burr presents ian talk and if it once it uh all things comedy did it right yeah all things comedy beautiful and then once it's out we'll be able to be streamed on Comedy Central's streaming service yeah download the app or just go to

ComedyCentral.com you'll be able to see it there beautiful yeah powerful Ian Edwards thanks brother thank you my friend

much love bye bye Bye.