The Joe Rogan Experience - #1329 - Brian Moses

Episode Date: August 1, 2019

Brian Moses is a stand up comedian, writer, producer, and host. He is the host of "Roast Battle" which can be seen on Comedy Central and every Tuesday night at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles.

boom brian moses you are one of the saviors of comedy i want you to know this honestly truly really because of roast battle roast battle is like one of the last real like sanctuaries for horrible comedy like nasty evil up, but hilarious comedy. And the way you do it, where you make everybody hug it out at the end, and you set the ground rules. No violence. This is just joke writing. This is all, this is just, words don't hurt us.

When I first came back to the comedy store, it was like how many years ago it was now? It's like five years ago or something like that. The exile was over. And when I saw Roast Bottle, it was one of the things that made me go whoa this place is different now this place is changed it's like it's evolved we brought like come like something like what of a uh a fight culture back to it you know what i mean yeah you know like where if you have a problem you know we're in a place where all we use is words anyway so duke it out that way yeah well not just that

there's people that don't have problems with each other and they just fuck each other up on that stage there's like people it's like devastated friendships yeah they ruin friendships they uh but i mean but nobody's ever attacked each other so that's amazing yeah because i've been there a couple times i stopped going it makes me feel bad does it it's consensual everybody Everybody's involved. I'm the commentator for the UFC, and roast battle makes me feel bad. That's the combat sport you don't like. Just stop and think about how crazy that is. That's nuts.

Why? How is that possible? Sometimes it's so mean. Sometimes people say shit that's so mean, you're like, yikes. I saw, there was a joke recently by, it was Jimmy Carr and Megan Gailey, and Jimmy was judging her, and she was battling a puppet. That's how crazy this show gets. So this girl who's got a half-hour on Comedy Central, she's brilliant.

And Jimmy said something snide to her, and her response was, I wouldn't fuck you if you raped me. I was like, I can't believe I've never heard that before. And his response to that was, oh, you can say funny things. Oh, wow. It was gorgeous. I wouldn't fuck you've never heard that before. And his response to that was, oh, you can say funny things. Oh, wow. It was gorgeous. I wouldn't fuck you if you raped me. Let's break that down.

Yeah, I would have to be like this about that. Like, hmm, I don't know if I'm going along with that one. False premise. Yeah. Not going along with that one. Why not? I don't know. I mean, you're not fucking someone if they rape you.

No, no, it's not consensual. Right. You're not giving it back. It doesn't make sense.'t know. I mean, you're not fucking someone if they rape you. No, no. It's not consensual rape. You're not giving it back. It doesn't make sense. All right. I get it. I get what she's doing. Yeah.

I get what she's saying. It was just so hard, though. I was like, damn, I wouldn't fuck you if you raped me. God. That's just, that's hard. And a lady said that to a man. And it took him a couple seconds to be like, I'm going to let this happen. There was some senator somewhere, and they were talking about rape and he actually said that a woman can't unless she submits he uh a man can't actually rape her wait what unless yeah yeah yeah unless she gives into

it like she taps out like all right i'm giving it to you there was something along those lines like it was almost like saying that she kind of wants it wow remember that yeah there's it was one of the most ridiculous he misspoke of course oh he misspoke do you think they made mario lopez apologize for what he said that the babies shouldn't be trans oh and he said i'm sorry my my comments were ignorant and insensitive because i want to keep my job at e right exactly that's all it is you should have added that you should went dot dot dot because i want to keep my job because i want to keep my job that's really all it is three-year-old trans babies what the fuck some blair white who's actually a trans woman had a hilarious quote she goes uh three-year-old trans kids are like vegan cats

we know who's making the lifestyle choices oh message boom and she's trans right which is hilarious she can say that she's free free like a bird i mean what age it ain't three should be in your 20s or somebody should be in your like an adult adult a full-grown adult right three year olds what's the matter camera just camera cut off what the fucking government they don't want us talking about trans babies is it dead did the camera die the cord died oh hi everybody um yeah i mean we live in the weirdest time in terms of like progressive ideology right dogma gender's a construct race is a construct trying to bring it all down but race is not a construct because no one's been successfully transracial oh that's true never never been pulled off even remotely not even eddie murphy on snl yeah but you could go black to white

like dave chapelle used to do it all the time. Remember, he used to do the crazy wig? Yeah, that was pretty good, too. You could do black to white. Nobody cares. You used to be able to do white to Asian. You can't even do that anymore. So you can't go transracial?

You could probably go Asian to white. People really hold on to this race thing. Why is that? Why do we hold on to it? I't know i don't know i don't know i mean i don't look at you as like i don't even know i don't know what you are you're just a tank you know what i mean i'm uh mostly italian irish one percent asian 1.6 percent african see i don't even have that i'm just like a nigga from america you know what i mean like i'm just american black well it's if you care if you care that makes like varieties interesting i like that people look cool like we were talking about blake griffin like it's

interesting that there's a guy like him out there yeah big old giant dude six foot ten albino looking he's probably got all kinds of shit inside of him. All kinds of shit. Yeah. But I mean, like, when you meet a guy like that, you're like, wow, that's a different type of person. Look how big he is. Yeah. Like Shaq. Like, when Shaq comes around UFC fighters, there's a photo of Shaq, and he was training at American Top Team with my friend Dean Thomas.

And Dean is like, I guess Dean's like 5'9", 5'10". And he's standing next to Shaq, and Shaq is standing next to Junior Dos Santos, who used to be the heavyweight champion. Right. And he looks like his child. Looks like Shaq'10". And he's standing next to Shaq, and Shaq is standing next to Junior Dos Santos. He used to be the heavyweight champion. He looks like his child. He looks like Shaq's child because he's so small. And Shaq's still, like, what, seven foot? Like, he hasn't shrunk at all? He's fucking – he's a legitimate, gigantic human being.

I mean, he's fucking huge. I like the fact that there's people that are different. It's cool. It's interesting. You know, the real problem is racism. The real problem is not that there's variety. The variety It's cool. It's interesting. You know, the real problem is racism. The real problem is not that there's variety. The variety part's interesting. It's also, like, I mean, this new racism, you know, like, there's so much of the cancel

culture and the, you know, you can't say what you can't say. And it's like, that's not scary racism like it used to be, right? I think people are more scared about the silent racism than, like, you know, that over, you know, aggressive racism, like the lynching in the 50s and 40s and before. Well, we all know that that stuff happened less than 100 years ago, which is why it's scary. When you see photographs, like those black and white photographs of the families standing around while there's a black guy hanging from a tree behind them. That is not that long ago. So that shit is still in the air down there.

Yeah. But now this new racism is like, you know, you can't talk about trans kids, you know? Well, that's not racism, but yeah, it's, that's just, what that is is authoritarianism. They're just trying to enforce a certain way of thinking and behaving and they go hard on anybody who deviates. Poor old Mario Lopez. Poor Mario Lopez. He's the nicest guy that's ever lived. Doesn't have a fucking controversial bone in his body.

He's like, well, I don't think kids should be trans. I mean, they're little babies. And they're like, what? You insensitive. It's because they can go after him for something like that. And he'll acquiesce. He'll give in. That's almost like backing into that old segregative, I guess, Jim Crow thing.

Remember when, well, another black i told my emmett till but remember when emmett till gets killed right it's because of you know he's doing uh he's saying hey you look kind of pretty or he's like he's doing a cat call to a lady right and then this woman goes and tells these group of dudes it's like hey and they're just like oh we gotta cancel emmett till you know what i mean so it's it's almost it's almost the same thing i'm not saying it's it's that you know aggressive and violent but it's it's the same thing of like you can't say anything you can't have a brain like it's there's a there's i want to say like a criminal thought now even having a thought right there's thought crime yeah yeah i mean that's the orwell shit right this is what people are

deeply concerned about is authoritarian reinforcement of their own particular way of thinking and behaving and it's because people have the opportunity to complain now like if if you just didn't like the way someone addressed women or someone you really didn't have a way to broadcast it 20 years ago this like you just but now anybody can just get on twitter or facebook right and it can go viral and a bunch of other fucking pink-haired weirdos will retweet you and next you know there's a goddamn mob after mario lopez right i mean that's that's what happened it's interesting though i mean it's it's weird to watch it all take place especially from our business because comedy relies on taboos and in a lot of ways like they're

reinforcing us they're helping us because people come to us for relief yeah thank you yeah thank you yeah keep keep the pc culture going honestly it's it's only making us more money it's making us more accessible really appreciate it's never been more packed oh yeah if people are coming in like they're looking to hear those things oh they're so happy when you go out against the grain when you go hard in the paint they go crazy love it they love it yeah bring on oj bring them back you see oj's fucking twitter have you been paid attention no i don't follow it joe i just think you can't follow oj on twitter that's crazy i follow him do you fuck yeah why because it's great uh doug stanhope and i back in the day when we were hosting the man show we had an an idea for having O.J. Simpson.

At the end of every show, O.J. Simpson would be like Andy Rooney, and he would break down the problems in America. Here's what I think about things. Hey, Twitter world. And so that's what he's doing. He's literally doing what Doug and I wanted him to do on the Man Show, but he's doing it all on his own. He was talking about the debates. He goes, is it just me? Or does Tulsi and Andrew Yang, are they the only ones that are following the rules?

I'm just saying. Following the rules, OJ? Play it. Bring it back to the beginning. Give me some volume. Well, hold on. Go to the beginning so I can hear. Hey, Twitter world.

That's my favorite part. Hey, hold on. Go to the beginning so I can hear. Hey, Twitter world. That's my favorite part. Hey, Twitter world. Is it my imagination that Yang and Gabbard are the only two who know how to follow the rules of this debate? I'm just saying. He's just saying. Voice of reason. But wait, he can't even vote. He's a convicted felon now, right? Yeah. So yeah, OJ, why are you even involved? You can't even vote.

Because he wants to know where everything's going. I mean, he talks about the NFL draft. He's got a lot of sports talk on his Twitter, telling people they should get paid more and you need to draft this guy and bring this guy in. So OJ's a gm now all right but you know there's a thing there's like you could you could have done some stuff like he could have embezzled some money and went to jail and got out or maybe didn't file taxes like like if wesley snipes who went to jail for tax evasion he started talking about politics or you wouldn't care you like that right no but you killed two people oj allegedly he got off for that joke come on kill two people i'm saying he

killed him he killed two people i just think it's wrong what happened to ron goldman nobody even talks about him i know nobody gives a fuck yeah they talk about the wife yeah all the time they never talk about the other guy he was like 25 and just a fucking waiter man bringing someone's sunglasses back he was side dick he was bringing the dick right right place wrong time was he bringing the dick was that has that been proven they were sleeping together right that's what it was uh is that true that's the i mean that's also allegedly we don't even know we can't even ask him yeah i have no idea i'm trying to find the killers ron goldman world deserves like a holiday he does he really does ron goldman day today on brian moses joe rogan episode i knew his sister back in the

day really yeah yeah she used to come around the the set of news radio i knew her from back then she was very nice it was devastating though it was like knowing someone whose brother was murdered and you know you're hanging out with her, it's always in the air. It's always in the air. Yeah, that's like a... She had a pin with her brother's face on it. I should bring you some black barbecues. There's a lot of sisters there whose brothers got murdered.

But the difference is it's ultra, ultra public. Right. This was pre-internet, right? Yeah. That was the biggest thing to date oh my god it was i was watching the the verdict with my girlfriend at the time we're sitting in front of the tv and i'll never forget when they said not guilty my girlfriend put her hand on her face i'm like oh no no no that's crazy i believe it you couldn't believe it no because

i remember being like i was like it was either elementary school or middle school and i remember the verdict happening and it was like a split verdict my teacher who was white she was like devastated and like all the black kids it was like me and another kid we were we were so happy we're just like yes because we didn't know any better you know what i mean we're just like we're just happy because a black guy got up because of what happened rodney king we're just like this is redemption that's how many people felt about it they felt like the rodney king thing was so fucked up that i mean the problem with the rodney king thing is you only see the end apparently he led them on a crazy high-speed chase and there was fights and they right he was a big fellow and he was on pcp yeah

so he was swinging for the fences and so they had to beat him down, apparently, according to the cops. But then, you know. Well, PCP, like, makes your bones stronger, doesn't it? No. It makes you really, like, impervious to pain, though. Okay. I had a friend who got his finger bitten off when he was on PCP. And never, he didn't feel it?

Until he woke up? I don't think he remembers, because he was so fucked up. But he was a boxer, and he had his toe removed. Not his pinky toe, not his fat toe, the big toe, but the one next to it. And he put it where his index finger was on his right hand. He moved his toe to his finger. He moved his toe to his finger and curved it permanently so he could throw right hooks. Oh, isn't that performance enhancing?

No. No, not at all. But when he would shake your hand He would give you like The little The little finger Oh Cause they don't make it

So it can bend again It was just bent like this Forever So if he was punching you That was the only way So when he opened it It would stay curled Damn

Yeah He's a hard man And he was doing PCP He was doing PCP at the time You guys were hanging out? He was my boxing coach He was a madman Yeah

Legit madman I mean wouldn't that be Performance enhancing Taking PCP Like while being in a fight Because you could just Get the shit beat out of you Yeah yeah yeah

For sure But you'd be too aggressive You would do Like if a guy was It's not going to make you A better fighter I mean you wouldn't want Your opponent to be on PCP

Because they would have no fear. They would just come charging at you, and they might be able to just fuck you up just because of that if you panicked. But if you were a seasoned fighter and a guy was on PCP, he would just come charging recklessly. He'd just crack them as he's coming in and keep moving. He's like the LAPD. Eventually, his body would wear out. Your body can only take so long. Yeah, until it becomes mush.

There's a lot of people that believe in themselves and they get flatlined. Yeah. They 100% believe in themselves. You got to fucking believe in it, bro. If you believe, you can achieve. Not really. If you believe in yourself or Francis Ngannou punches you in the face, you're going into the spirit world.

Yeah. Or like Akos beat you down for like eight minutes. Yeah. With clubs. With clubs. Yeah. Like metal clubs. Face you and club you.

Was that pre-tasers? Did they not have tasers back then? So that was after the choke, because you couldn't choke guys out anymore. So that's why they said they beat them down, because they couldn't choke them out. Really? Yeah. They couldn't choke them out? Oh, that's right.

They put a ban on chokeholds. Yeah. Why'd they do that? Because they were killing guys. Oh. Because they were saying guys were on PC They were saying guys were on PCP when they weren't on PCP

and they were like literally killing dudes. Were they killing them with their arms or were they using a nightclub? Like a nightstick?

One guy killed with a stick I think. Yeah, the stick makes sense. And the second case was a guy who actually choked a guy. Just with a rear naked choke?

He killed him? I know a dude who killed a guy with a choke. In the ring? No, killed him in a gym. He was banging

this guy's wife. Oh, he really went for him. Yeah, it was crazy. He was banging the guy's wife and he invited the guy with a choke in the ring no killed him in a in a gym he was banging this guy's wife oh he really went for him yeah it was crazy he was banging the guy's wife he invited the guy to school and then choked him to death and killed him and then was driving the guy's car around town that's cold blood and they arrested him yeah he was a interesting character he was a fake brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt my friend friend Eddie Bravo called him out. Wait a minute. Fake? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was fake. He was a fake black belt.

Okay. He was telling everybody he was a black belt. And Eddie rolled with him. And I remember him coming back to me and he's like, that guy is not a black belt. And I go, what, you sure? And he goes, dude, he don't know anything. Like, it was too crazy. It was like barely, it was like a white belt.

You can get killed doing shit like that. I thought maybe he was doing it because he was, maybe he was just being nice and wasn't going hard. And he goes, but then as time goes on, I was like, this guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And so then he calls him up and he was like, hey, are you a fucking black belt? Like, tell me your, the guy's like, well, you know, I'm a black belt in Japanese jujitsu. He goes, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Are you a fucking black belt? And there's like this big pause. He's like, bro, you're a fucking liar you're a liar so eddie separated himself from the guy and then years later the dude wound up murdering somebody oh what yeah yeah with jiu-jitsu yeah he murdered the guy with jiu-jitsu no he knew some of the guy well you know i could teach you how to put a choke in in five seconds yeah it wouldn't Well, you know, I could teach you how to put a choke in five seconds. Yeah. It wouldn't take long at all.

Yeah. I could teach you how to do it. Just wrap your forearm underneath someone's neck, clamp your hand to your bicep, put this arm behind their head, squeeze. You could kill somebody. It's not a hard thing to learn, but to actually apply it to someone who knows what they're doing, you'd have to be really good. Like you can't just – no one's going to let let you choke them but this guy didn't know anything so i think he snuck up behind this guy who he killed and just choked him choked him to death it sounds like the oj murder i think he brought the guy to his school under false premises he's in jail now oh shit all right yeah shout out

to that guy yeah it was weird because i got uh i got semi involved in it in that the guy who wound up ratting him out to the cops was one of Eddie's students. And I was talking to the guy on the phone about it. I was like, what's going on with that guy? And then the cops called me afterwards and said, hey, we were tapping that guy's phone. We want to know what you know. Whoa. I was like, whoa. I'm on the fucking set of Fear Factor.

I'm in my my trailer jesus yeah getting putting my microphone on i'm like huh you're in a murder case all of a sudden i'm like hey listen i don't know that guy i go this is what i know he's a fake black belt i told him the whole deal um and i had heard that he killed somebody but i wasn't sure if it was true because the guy is so full of shit this is how full of shit this guy was this guy had a friend drop him off in the woods because he said he was going to a kumite karate contest like a big karate competition but it was it was no rules and it was secretive so he dropped him off in the woods where was this guy from i don't know i don't know but he lived in california for a while okay dropped he

dropped him off in the woods with a duffel bag yeah he gave him a duffel bag like he had a duffel bag with him rather and it's like a duffel bag that's just big enough to fit a trophy in it yeah right like about this big so he leaves goes out into the woods the guy comes back the next day he's got a trophy no duffel bag so he brought a fucking trophy with him and then he came out of the woods like yeah i won i fucked everybody up and like so this guy would he thought this guy would tell everybody yeah that he beat everybody in this karate tournament this guy's a hell of an actor he's really i mean he really commits he was he was one of those guys that snuck through my crazy radar because he's a friend of a friend so i was i assumed you know i was fucking 30 years

old i don't know any better i was dumb and i was like i assumed 30 30 yeah aren't you fully cooked by them nah you think you are you think you are you haven't met enough murderers yet shit you have to meet enough really legitimate crazy people to have them in the database where you're like oh you're fucking you're a sociopath, you're a fucking, you're a sociopath. Oh. Well, what's worse, a psycho or a sociopath? Sociopath is someone who doesn't care about someone. A psychopath, I think, is someone who violently attacks people.

But in many ways, they're interchangeable. Let's Google that. What is the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath? Because I think a sociopath can have no violent tendencies, but I think the idea is that they have no compassion for other people. Right. Like I have a friend and she thinks her sister's a sociopath. Everybody thinks everybody's a fucking sociopath these days. That's like a hot, that's the hot word these days.

It's like calling somebody a racist or calling someone a Nazi. Exactly. Yeah. The quick thing I pulled up we'll put it up so yeah you explain exactly what it said but there's just like a venn diagram that's a better explanation by the way every woman who's you know who's gonna hear this he's like he is a sociopath so there's something in the middle there's like you could be both so genetically predisposed let's talk about genetically predisposed my parents would have to be psychopaths. What is happening with the screen here, buddy?

Switch that. Would have done it on purpose. It should connect again. Maybe not. Maybe it's dead. There it goes. Oh, even better. Okay, lax empathy.

A psychopath genetically predisposed. Lax empathy and guilt. Convincing behavior. Look how they spell behavior. That's British. Oh, it's lacks empathy and guilt, convincing behavior. Look how they spell behavior. That's British. Oh, it's conniving. Conniving behavior. Conniving.

Yeah. But look how they spell behavior. Oh, yeah. With the I-O. I-O-U-R. Higher job success. What? Okay.

Anti-social personality disorders, conformed social relationships, and treatable. That's the one in the middle. Okay. So they're both treatable. Psychopath, environmentally influenced, feel empathy and guilt, erratic behavior, struggles to find and keepable. That's the one in the middle. And then sociopath, environmentally influenced, feel empathy and guilt, erratic behavior, struggles to find and keep jobs. Wait a minute. I thought sociopath

didn't feel empathy. See? I don't think this is right. I think this is some British definition. The psychopath doesn't care, but it's the same? What, the sociopath does care? Sociopath would feel no guilt About hurting a stranger

So how is that Saying the same thing But it's not saying the same thing Right It says they feel empathy When you look at that chart It says sociopaths feel empathy Whatever

It's close We kind of get it Sure I feel like a lot of You know Stand up comics As much as they're narcissistic They might also be sociopaths You know we kind of get it and kill it sure i feel like a lot of uh you know stand-up comics is as much they're narcissistic they might they might also be sociopaths you know i think a lot of people they get to a point in their career where there's they're trying so hard to be successful that they

it becomes all about them right like it becomes such an obsession and the the narcissism is so strong that all they really care about is their own good and their own success. Right. And they'll fuck people over. That's a fact. I mean, yeah. I've seen it. Yeah.

It's kind of sociopathic. Yeah. Have you lived it? Lived it a little bit. A little bit. You want to talk? You want to talk about it or you want to keep it on? We should keep it on the hush.

Yeah. Yeah. We can't break it on this one. Yeah. We'll come back for that one. We'll do that when the camera stops Yeah Yeah we can't break it on this one Yeah We'll come back for that one We'll do that When the camera stops rolling We've all had

Those experiences You know when you find it You find it when you start Getting a little bit of success And it's not even much Right It could be anything A little bit

You get a development deal Right And all of a sudden people are Like oh Yeah There's people that equate Good things happening to other people As bad things happening to them

And that's the narcissism That's that yeah that extreme egomania right extreme extreme narcissism and obviously you have to be this has to be something wrong with you most of the time not not a hundred percent of the time but most of the time to want to be a comedian right absolutely something's gotta be wrong yeah because this is like your ego gets kicked in the dick every day you know especially in this town so just taking that every day you have to have something a little wrong with you yeah yeah and no better way to see it than the goddamn open mic nights bro that's a story i don't i can't go anymore i used to be able to go and just watch but now it's so fucking crazy it's just i can, I can't. Especially the comedy store, because now there's a crowd now. I mean, back when, I mean, I remember when I was like coming up, there was no crowd.

It was just, it was just your peers. Open mic nights are packed. Yeah. Packed. Yeah, like with a real audience. Yes. Yeah, like that's, you guys are stealing. There's people that are fans of comedy now that want to see the process.

Really? Yeah. Is that what that is yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of that change podcasts oh that makes sense we started talking about it on podcasts and next thing you know i think over the last like six seven years you start to see people that are like i want to know what it's like what are they because they love going to see like headliners like if you if you love going to see the fully finished product, you want to see what it's like to see. It's almost like going to watch an amateur's fight.

Like, I'll keep an eye on him. Maybe one day he'll be the champ. I hear that. But then it's also, I mean, there's that, but I feel like spiting, yeah, you can kind of see somebody's style here and there. But with comedy, you see everybody's style. You're going to see a young guy who's probably doing, like, a Dave Chappelle type of thing. And a guy who's doing, like, a Jim Gaffigan type of thing and a guy who's doing like a jim gaffigan type of thing you know a joe rogan kind of thing you know a mitch hedberg kind of thing yeah so

that's just what open mic is you're gonna see a bunch of copycats until they figure it out you can't just do that but what's cool about it is you go from that and then you can go into the other room like you can go into the main room and there'll be a real show going on right kill tony yeah so you could see both on the same day like you you really can you could go see a real comic yeah you can see open mic night and then at the end of the open mic night like chapelle shows up at pop-up all the time right dice clay yeah all the time so you literally watch these amateurs and then boom of like a world-renowned professional shows up. You're like, oh, that's the finished product. We get it now.

Yeah. But they're never going to be. I mean, that's crazy. They might be. That's the guy. But somebody used to be, I mean, Chappelle was an open mic-er. We all were open mic-ers. When did you start?

How old were you? 1988. I was 21. 21. Okay. Yeah. He was like, what, 14 when he started? He was a baby.

Yeah. How did you even get in? I think they'd let him in. I didn't know you could get in. I thought you had to be 21 because he was a baby. Yeah. How did you even get in? I think they'd let him in. I didn't know you could get in. I thought you had to be 21 because it was a bar. Yeah. But it turns out there's like a law where you can be, I think in Massachusetts you could be 18 with like a note to perform at a nightclub.

They just had to make sure that they didn't serve you alcohol. When I met Dave, I think Dave is like four or five years younger than me. And I was 23 or something like that. He was a baby. 17 probably? Yeah, I met him at the Catch Rising Star. Catch Rising Star in Boston. Not in Boston, in New York.

Yeah. Has he already passed all the clubs by that point? He must have been. He must have been. He must have been. He was on stage, and they were already talking about him. Like, look at this young kid. Like, he's so talented. I remember Silverman, Sarah, she was telling me, she was like, I remember when Chappelle

got Mel Brooks' one of his last films, The Men in Tights. It was like the big talk in New York. It was just like, hey, that 19-year-old kid just got a Mel Brooks deal. Wow. The world was a different place back then. Yeah. Isaac Hayes was alive. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. So it was a different time. Yeah. You guys were scared of AIDS. This was the 90s, right? So yeah, so AIDS was big. You couldn't really fuck anybody. Dude, the first time I got an AIDS test, I was so nervous.

Really? Oh, yeah. It just was a slideshow Every bad decision I never made Every time I never wore a condom It was just going through my head Because everybody was convinced It was funny because at the same time

Kinison had a bit Where he goes like They say Sam They say AIDS is a communicable disease Straight people can get it too He goes Name one Name one fucking guy fuck you it's not

our dance and people were so you know people were so mad well nobody i know yeah but i was just you know we when it happened i remember in my car i was living in boston in my car driving and i was listening to the radio and magic johnson had a press conference to announce that he had hiv and it was like a scene in a zombie movie where the first person got bit and i was like oh my god yeah it's happening holy shit i'm like magic johnson with all his money that guy's got hiv yeah oh my god we're fucked we're fucked i remember thinking that and then uh it was probably like a year or two later i got i got an aids test after magic got it two years later i didn't have any money i couldn't i mean i didn't have health insurance i forgot there was like they cost money back then oh yeah yeah because now they're just free yeah well now

they want people to not get AIDS or people just get a sometimes Just to get the free health care Really? Yeah, there's I mean I've this is a rumor on the street I've heard for in the gay community cuz I live in the gay community not that I am but I'm saying I live there because It's clean and wrong with gay people right exact. There's nothing wrong, right? Anyway, uh in a gay neighborhood cuz it's safe. It's safe. Oh my god is it safe? Yeah, I just worry about you about, you know, anyway. Don't drop your keys when you're naked.

I'm not going outside naked anymore, Joe. But, yeah, they say, like, yeah, some guys will just get it just to get the free health care. This is before Obamacare. There was a thing called bug chasers. Do you know what that is? It was gay dudes that, for whatever reason, look look a lot of people are self-loathing right there's people cut themselves people that tattoo their face they hate themselves for whatever reason and they punish themselves well there was post Malone hates himself tattooing his face

there's got to be something wrong Mike Tyson Mike Tyson yeah I think he had some issues yeah he's my favorite by the way love him he is my spirit animal I fucking love Mike Tyson I got Tyson weed over there Do you really? Yeah Do you smoke weed? Yeah I smoke weed How often? Every day

Every day? You want to smoke some right now? Yeah I'll smoke some right now Smoke some Tyson weed Hold please Mom sorry Hold please Breaking out the good stuff

It's going to knock me out Let's do it Mike Tyson holler at me please Some Tyson Ranch original stuff I think in California City dude I grew up out there

that's where the earthquakes are oh shit oh yeah I think they're launching it soon the ranch the ranch

oh shit he brought us he brought us a golden box look at that box back there it's amazing who made that

that wasn't yeah whoever knows Mike what was he on golden box. Look at that box back there. It's amazing. Who made that? That wasn't, yeah, whoever knows Mike. When was he on? What episode was that? Two, three? It was a few months back.

Oh, shit. The bamboo. Look at that. Can't believe we never smoked weed before. Did we ever? No,

we haven't. Never? Ever? We've had a drink together. We haven't smoked together. That's outrageous. Outrageous. Joyce Acacia.

Oh, my God. But anyway, there was bug chasers. Okay. Bug chasers were dudes that for whatever reason, for whatever reason, they wanted to catch HIV. They wanted to what? They wanted to. They'd call them bug chasers. They would literally go out and try to get it why i mean they hated themselves they wanted to die oh this is a real

thing yeah this is okay this is like like black kids would be like the death by cop thing yes yes yeah not just black kids you see that video recently the guy was running towards the cop with a knife and he's fucking screaming and yelling and he's like don't make me shoot you don't make me shoot you he just wanted to start unloaded on the guy suicide by cop is super super common i did not know that yeah i thought it was just a uh a hood thing no it's a it's a real common thing but uh bug chasers were i mean maybe it's still a thing but now aids is dude aids is aids is the apple of diseases it's the op Oprah diseases. I mean, honestly, it's like when Magic Johnson got it, AIDS was like, our stock's about to go up like fucking Disney. I mean, because you think about it, crack and AIDS kind of came into the same time and crack was killing it.

And all of a sudden now AIDS is like, you get AIDS, it's like you've, that's a hit track. Yeah, like look at fucking Charlie Sheen. He looks great. Looks great. Dude, Jeff at the comedy store. Yeah, like look at fucking Charlie Sheen. He looks great. Looks great. Dude, Jeff at the Comedy Store. Yeah, Jeff at the Comedy Store has had it forever. Yeah, back when it wasn't cool, before it was cool. Still got it.

It looks great. Looks great, still got it. But it's HIV. It's not AIDS. Right, right. It's not full-blown. That's the difference. But nobody gets full-blown.

Some people do. Really? Yeah, it's just- You can live with full-blown? I don't know. I don't know why they get it. Maybe some people don't react to the medication. Maybe some people don't get treated.

Full-blown? You can live with full-blown. I don't know that. I don't think you live very long. Right. I mean, once you get it. Because you can live with HIV. Yes.

Well, now they can get it to the point where you're HIV. By the way, if you're a doctor and you listen to this, we're sorry. I know we're You're like You guys don't know Jack shit I have no idea What you guys are talking about

But if you Here it goes Death usually occurs Within six months To three years From the time Of developing Full blown AIDS

People living with AIDS Is there any other disease That has full blown Next to it It's only AIDS It's like AIDS, right? It's like a rap name. You get full-blown flu.

Full-blown AIDS. And that's the scientific term, by the way. That's so blown out. That's so slang. Full-blown AIDS. Put that back up so I can read it again. Sorry, I was looking for other things with full-blown in it. No, there's nothing else with full-blown in it.

People living with AIDS go through periods Of being sick alternating with periods Of reasonable health It's usually one of the many opportunistic infections That eventually cause death So yeah your immune system smashed And then causes death Full blown

Yeah full blown Shut down HIV HIV is like 38 now, like 38 now? Yeah. HIV's been around for a minute. Happy birthday. Now it's the point where you can be undetectable. Like, Magic Johnson's apparently undetectable.

Right. Like, even through AIDS tests, like when you test him for HIV, he shows HIV negative. Really? Yeah. But they say it's still dormant in the system somehow or another it's very confusing so it's like like herpes almost not for him like it flares up every once in a while i think i think if you have herpes even if you don't have an outbreak if they test you it'll show that you have herpes oh but with hiv no yeah with with the way they have the medication the way the body responds to the medication now,

at least in some cases, like Magic Johnson's apparently, he shows up HIV negative. But the weird thing is like, well, isn't he cured then? Is that cured? They've only cured two people, and he's not one of them. So when they have started curing people, which I was like, okay, well, how do they differentiate? Like, what's the difference between curing someone and what's going on with Magic Johnson when he's HIV negative? If you're anything else negative,

they figure they cured you. Yeah, they haven't actually, yeah, they haven't deemed him, he's done with that. Like, you've cured it. Like, if you get tested for chicken pox and it comes up negative, they've cured you of chicken pox. Right.

Polio. Polio negative. One guy meets the only person to be cured of HIV. There's one more guy now. There's one more guy now. There's one more guy now. So what happened to this guy? He had stem cell treatment is what fixed it. See?

I thought I just read something about that. They're holding good stuff from us, yeah. They just cured another guy, I want to say, a few months back. It was this year they did it. Well, there was something that I posted on my Twitter feed that apparently is an older story. It's from like two years ago and it was kind of from like a clickbaity type site that has uh cool headlines but it was about

how a guy was paralyzed and he's got regaining use of his legs because of stem cells really yeah i don't know enough about it look if that's true that'd be fucking incredible yeah i don't know and don't hold that from people yeah i don't know enough about how severe the injury was versus, you know, because I do know that some people get temporarily paralyzed by certain injuries. And I knew a dude who got slammed on his head and his whole body went numb and he couldn't move his body. And he was like, oh my God, I'm paralyzed. This is it.

This is it. This is how I'm living from now on. I can't move my body. But then his body slowly started coming back. And he just got jolted because he was wrestling. It's like a stinger. Yeah, he was wrestling. Landed on his head.

Scary fucking shit, man. Yeah. I mean, paralyzed and full-blown AIDS. Yeah, so I don't know if they really can bring someone back from that. But, man, if they can, holy shit. That's a great question, by the way, because they do say if he's HIV negative, they wouldn't say he's cured of it.

Right. So then evidently it does show up in some tests then somewhere. Again, scientists, sorry. We're sorry. Also, how is he the only NBA player in history to have HIV? Do you remember Keenan Avery Wayne's bit about him? No. Not Keenan, I'm sorry, Damon.

Yes. Damon Wayne's bit about him. Damon, Not Keenan. I'm sorry. Damon. Damon Wayne's bit about him. Damon, who I sing his praises often on this podcast. He's like the most underrated comedian of all time. I hear that often, by the way. One of the greats. Yeah. But he had a bit about how nobody wanted to cover Magic Johnson except for Dennis Rodman. And Dennis Rodman was like, I fuck Madonna.

I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. Damn! Dude, it was one of those jokes where you hear it, you can't fucking believe he said it, and you are on the floor slapping the ground. You're like, no, no, no. I mean. He was a monster. He's still a monster, by the way.

Yeah. I remember featuring for him like a year or two ago. I remember. Years ago, actually. Underrated. He's still great. People forgot. It's like that Roy, by the way. Yeah. I remember featuring for him a year or two ago. I remember. Years ago, actually. Underrated. He's still great. People forgot. It's like that Roy Jones Jr. song.

Y'all must have forgot. Yeah. He should put a special out, though. Maybe that's what it is. Fuck yeah, he should put a special out. And all his sitcoms are pretty great, too. He took a long time doing that TV show. That's what it was.

People associated him with that television show, which was very family friendly. Yeah. Good for him. Made a lot of money, I'm sure. Did you ever guest star? Is that what you're mad about? No, no. I don't get mad about anything.

I love that guy. I love his brother, too. Kenan's cool as shit. Kenan's the nicest guy ever. Sean and Marlon. I know them, too, but I don't know them as well. Kenan's super cool. He's always been a real down-to-earth guy, too.

I mean, they have comedy bones Like all of those guys I mean like I work with Marlon And he is like He is so funny He's hilarious Yeah

But the whole family I mean imagine a family Yeah That has that much stand-up in it I mean that's bananas I mean the Rock family too Yes Yeah

Jordan, Tony And obviously Chris Yeah Dude Tony's another one Yeah God damn that dude's funny Yeah

God damn he's funny. I've never seen him live, but he's, yeah. Bro. I only get to when I look like him. Bro. He's one of those guys that, because he's Chris Rock's brother, people almost like, they almost look past him. You know, like, oh, you're Chris Rock's brother.

Right, right, right. Or the other Rock. Like, dude, forget all that. That guy's a murderer. Yeah. He fucking kills. He's really good. He's just funny, man.

He's just, and he's, it's like sharp, good writing, you know, good solid punchlines. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. His pacing. He's like a legit killer. He's a legit killer. Dude, he was, the last time I saw him was in, he was in the main room in the comic store. And there was, I walked into the, time I saw him he was in the main room in the comic store and there was,

I walked into the back because there was roars. And it was Tony Rock. And Tony Rock was murdering. I mean murdering where I was like, woo! Damn,

you could hear it in the hallway, that hallway roar when someone just really hits a high note. I walked in like, damn. No, dude, everybody's always talking

about Tony Rock in the community. I mean, he's a monster it's a monster he would be so much more famous if he wasn't chris rock's brother really you believe that 100 he's he's a fucking top 10 murderer i think that it's one of those things if your brother is one of the greatest comics of all time not just a great comic right your brother's chris rock yeah yeah he's got niggas versus black people i mean and everybody knows that bit everybody knows that bit he he's one of the greatest of all time if that's your brother people don't want to pay attention to you you know it's a weird thing man they just like yeah yeah can you get me your brother's number

you know what i mean it's like the gift and the curse though yeah but i'm tony rock and i kill too i probably kill you know charlie used to have a bit about it. Charlie used to have a bit. He goes, he goes, they said, Charlie, do you get mad at people yelling out Charlie Murphy?

You know? Cause everybody's like, Charlie Murphy. That was like a thing people would do with him. If you were hanging out with Charlie, he goes, no, I'm just glad they're not calling me Eddie Murphy's brother anymore.

Imagine how Ray J feels. Yeah, man. Brandy's brother. brother yeah you never saw the tape i did did you yeah you saw the tape yeah everybody had to see that yeah it was much watch tv yeah it's super important it is in pop culture you're right star you know it's uh it's got to be weird man to have someone like that that's a brother that's a a person who's like like if you're mike tyson's brother you know real good heavyweight boxer tony tyson yeah but you're mike tyson's brother yeah and you can't yeah like i get knockouts too like yeah but you're not like my bro yeah you just judged at a totally different

standard but i don't think that's the case with the waynes brothers the waynes brothers is like Like eh But you're not like Mike bro Yeah You're just judged At a totally different standard But I don't think That's the case With the Wayans brothers The Wayans brothers Is like generally accepted That they're all really talented Yeah

You know Yeah They're all really good They're all super successful Yeah Yeah Kim too Yeah

All of them Now you have Shantae You have Damien All those guys Crazy comedy family Craig Yeah And they're all just

It's in their DNA Yeah Predisposed to being funny Well it's in their DNA. Yeah. Predisposed to being funny. Well, it's also like, that's the family business, which is, you know, some people, they make boots. Right. Or they cater, you know, or they work delis. Man, I was just in Italy.

Like, when you see like these little small family businesses, small family restaurants, like people that work there, you know, like the father's the owner and the daughter's the manager. Yeah. The mom works in the kitchen. It's like, wow, this is crazy. They still do that. Family businesses. Yeah.

That was always a thing, right? You remember, like, family businesses on the East Coast. Now it's, like, so rare that people, they wear it like a badge of honor. Look, it's a family business. Right. Like, all businesses used to be family businesses. No, everything went corporate, though. Yeah, man. There's certain places where that's not the case though like you got to really appreciate there's one of the things you appreciate about going to italy there's just like a bunch of

little places i mean they have nice stores like if you're in like gucci shit and stuff like that they have nice stores yeah but the restaurants and all the places where you buy things they're not like they're like people's shops. Right. They're not boutiques. They're just like, yeah, I go to Craig's or I go to Tiffany's. It's not Target or Walgreens or Sears. There's no corporate to it.

It's just families. It's weird. That keeps the money in the household, too. You know what I mean? It makes it real familial. It actually works out. But it's quaint. That makes sense. And that's also why I like i'm not real big into the reparations talk

for black people i mean i don't really know the ins and outs of it people keep saying like we need it get ready for twitter hate i'm saying this i'm saying how about like how about we incentivize parenting but can you do that let's keep if if you're watching your kids instead of like, they're just out there. I mean, like, let's say, is reparations talk about, I don't know, infrastructure in black communities? And if that's the case, well, then let's incentivize keeping the parents there, keeping the parents together. Or if they're split up, it's just like, if you guys are teaching your kid and he's in school every day or he survives, you know, eight years of school shooting, every family gets a big bonus. Or if he makes the honor roll, you guys get this.

It's like you'd really be investing in your investments. They say it takes 18 years to make back on your investment of your child. If you're incentivizing them to go to school for education, it's going to make better people and a better society.

That seems good on paper. No, if you're saying incentivize, how would you incentivize them? Right, I'm saying like- It's always good to encourage people to be successful. So your kid tests well

on some of these aptitude tests, right? Right. Then you get a stipend or something like that. I mean, it's like, what are these reparations we're talking about exactly?

Because exactly, I don't really know the ins and outs of it, but if it's about infrastructure of black communities, I'm so into it, but it's also, let's incentivize

being in the child's life. Because for a lot of the for a lot of the reasons these kids are like they're depressed and they feel like they have a chip on their shoulder because nobody's home watching them and they go to these gangs that they go to you know these other things right because they're just not being watched right but i think the idea behind reparations is that some people at one point in time were profiting off of slavery those people have used that money and that money has become a part of really large businesses many many large businesses oh we're talking about taking from

businesses well that's where reparations would have to come from in my mind yeah yeah general electric fucking yeah give me 1500 that's one that i think directly should be like you have to wonder like if you made like what if you used to sell babies right you had a baby selling business you sold babies right and then uh your your grandson inherited all your money from selling babies okay but the grandson's cool i mean he just uh he goes golfing and he's not criminal right it's fine it's fine but is it fine because didn't his money come from baby selling right where's it where wait a minute let's chase this money like here's it started out it was this much money and then your dad got that and then his dad got that yeah and

then like how many generations okay so you're saying that families who are known plantation owners should have to pay that money back to the black community. Where did it go? Where'd the money go? What was it used for? No, you're right. I mean, it's only 100 years ago. It's 1865. Okay.

It's not that long ago. That's so recent. It was 150 years ago. And we're just giving it to anybody that's on the census that says they're black, right? If I'm 8% black, I'm going to get how much of this, you know, the Jones Plantation, you know, fortune. I'm not saying that i'm saying that what the the smart thing to do would be to figure out what damage was like if they really objectively looked at what damage was done to communities where slavery existed for i mean how many hundreds of years in this country before it was 400 years hundreds of years right and then

it ends and then these people live in these cities and they're discriminated against and they're locked up they would they would sort of one thing that i learned about who was telling us about this that they they would disproportionately arrest black men for the reconstruction era is the worst era for black people in America. It's not so much slavery as it is the Reconstruction era, because then people are just mad that black people are here. Yeah, well, they were also arresting them for small crimes and making them work in prison. Right, kidnapping people, yeah, making them indentured servants.

You become, it's just another form of slavery. It's like through this weird loophole. Like, we can make you a slave again. We'll just arrest you for hanging out in the street, and then we put you in this factory and you have to do this for us. We make nothing. And it's basically the same thing as slavery. When you find out what they make in prisons, when you go, wait a minute, they work for like 13 cents a day or whatever the fuck they get? Right.

Like, what? They're modernizing slavery. Yeah, because somehow or another, that's okay because we got them locked in a box. Like, they're supposed to be punished, right? they're supposed to be rehabilitated and taken off the street but we're gonna make them work for no money i know the white man's so smart why don't we like black guys we got to start making white guys work for us why don't we do the same thing we're just a smart well those all the areas that were affected by that in the 50s and the 60s, there's a residual effect that has never been addressed. Like the government has never said, we've got to figure out what to do with those sort of stop

short there's not like like like baltimore and places like that like detroit south side chicago would just murder every year we just accept high numbers high numbers of murder right yeah is west side chicago is that where it all goes down I mean south side And west side They're just really Poor areas But it's also like How are these guys

Getting guns Yeah Well If you can drive around You can get a gun And that's another Yeah I just don't know

Like you have money for guns But you don't have money To like I don't know You know Get a backpack And go to school Well also

If you see that around you All the time The problem is You become a part of that world. If everyone's got a gun, everybody's shooting at everybody, and you don't. Yeah. No, you better get one. You better get a fucking gun.

They're going to try to shoot at you. You got to shoot back. Like, what? Yeah. We're all shooting. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You live in a war zone, bro. Go get a gun.

That's what it is. It's not a war zone in terms of its official resignation by the government, but it's a war zone. These are undeclared wars. Yeah. People are shooting at each other. That's a yeah. They're warring each other. Hatfields and McCoy.

It's a war. It's a civil war. This is it's like warring tribes. Yeah. If we have that in fucking Siberia right now, I bet. But the Siberian gang fights. Yeah. But that's also that's depression. And, but that's also, that's depression.

And that's another thing classism does. It's like, they're telling you to kill yourself because you're just poor and you don't know what to do. And it's like, but that's not true. I mean, I'm a black guy like you guys, and I got family members who are in gangs like that. And it sucks down there. They're so depressed because of what they see, and they don't know how to get out of it. Yeah, and they don't see any pathway. And they don't see anybody who's gotten out of it. So they feel like they're stuck.

There's a lot of kids that grow up in bad situations. They feel inferior. Exactly. Yeah, they feel inferior because of the clothes they wear or how much money their family has. But then how do you empower those kids? I think through activities. How do you empower those kids? I think through activities.

I think getting those kids involved in things that they can get good at, that show that they have value, and that with hard work comes rewards. I mean, some of the greatest success stories in this country are professional athletes coming out of impoverished neighborhoods. Yeah. And they become these global superstars. Right, but then they stay in their kids' lives, though, don't they? Some of them do, sure, yeah. I mean, but they're still there. But it's like you can't fix all that's taken place. No.

You have to sort of figure out how to improve the way people look at life, the way people interface with life. It's very hard if you're trying to do that, but all around you is violence and crime and fear and your cortisol levels are all jacked up because you're in the hood and that that's not been addressed like a serious health problem in this country that's like even an infrastructure problem we just sort of accept the fact it is an infrastructure problem so if we're going to put money back if we're going to repair if we're going to repair these black communities put money in the infrastructure but also you've got to incentivize parents to be there right i think it's a good idea i like what you're saying

because you're not punishing them no you're just incentivizing no i'm not saying like we shouldn't get money you know just for being black i'm saying we got to keep the parents there because that's what that builds a strong community it really does you. I don't know a whole lot about Kamala Harris, but I do know that she's a very powerful, well-spoken lady. But she was talking once about this thing that they did where they had these parents be responsible for their kids' truancy. And so they could go to jail. The idea was, make sure this is correct. Make sure this is correct, Jamie. Because I think the thing they were saying was they would have cops go to visit when a kid had been truant.

Okay. And they would sort of threaten the mother that she's responsible for the child's truancy. The mother is not the father. Well, whoever was there, a single mother in this case of this one one case they were talking about specifically and that this lady had to figure out a way to get her fucking son to show up at school hey i'm i could go to jail you know and did it work i'm sure it worked right i'm sure everyone was probably terrified but is that really what we want in america we want people to be scared that you might go to jail if your kid doesn't go to school. So if the kid doesn't go to school, you're going to lock someone in a cage?

That is so threatening. Yeah, exactly. That's so authoritative. There's also homeschool. You know what I mean? I mean, just because he's enrolled, it's almost like, you know, maybe I took it the sick day. Yeah, but if you want to do homeschooling, I think you have to fill out paperwork. You apply for it.

You have to let them know that you're withdrawing your kids from the school says i think right but how many truancies is this is this his first one i don't know how is your first time offender i don't care if it was 100 yeah someone's saying they're gonna lock you in jail because your kid doesn't go to school that's bananas that's bananas like you he's 16 or whatever the fuck is yeah like when are you when you were 16 you were like i was a latchkey kid right i was 14 i was out yeah gone we lived in different time though joe i know but you know we had two genders you know race is race you know it's different for us it's that's the only thing that bothers me that's that just drives me crazy the the the idea of like the way you fix things is by scaring people and locking them up that's how religion the gulags start, man. That's really, that's how the Soviet Union

becomes this fucking empire of authoritarian regime. What's up? The jail sentences of some parents in multiple counties were, in quotes, what she said, an unintended consequence of a statewide law. But I'm looking further into this, and this is from the Los Angeles Times. Well, it was a speech, actually, that she gave where she explained how she did it and how it was effective. She was hard on people being truant.

I think your idea, what my point was, I think that your idea is better because instead of punishing people for not doing it incentivizes them for doing it and if you could set aside imagine that as a project right you were saying that like it takes 18 years to see right we could fund an 18-year project where they were doing that and just incentivizing kids to succeed and all of a sudden they just started succeeding like crazy yeah like what if we had a big jump because it was like financially violent you're competing for what's a great idea dude it's a great competing look at the au like by the way look at all these guys who get popped

in uh in college for like taking you know incentives it's like because it's because they're getting their parents jobs or homes or cars there's another form there's another form you know what i mean college athletes who's getting fucked harder than college athletes exactly who's getting fucked harder than the only thing that's interesting about the i mean literally the only thing that's interesting about the event is the athletes performing that's it and they make ungots they make nothing yeah they're getting like a 40 grand scholarship yeah school give you the opportunity to perform here right you're gonna everybody gets here You get an electrical engineering degree. Like everybody wants me.

What are you talking about? Oh, my God. Look at this. 2016, 2017 school year, the NCAA revenue reached $1 billion with a B. $1 billion. And they're a nonprofit, right? The athletes get un gots. Just like get paid to organize the sports. Right.

Hey, click on that link. It says NCAA sports make one. That's that business insider. That's one of the real clickbaity. Is that like a, is it or is it a real legit? You just got to figure out who wrote the article.

But it's also like what, California is like, they put on a bill, right? They're going to pay the athletes for their likeness. They should pay them to play. Yeah. Should pay them to play.

All California schools I think Those people in the audience What do they pay for They're paying for entertainment They're paying to watch the players They're paying for entertainment Yeah They're paying to watch the game

So how come the players Don't get a piece Right Why don't they do it Or it's like people are wearing A jersey that says my name On the back Like why can't I get

Just like a piece of that The idea is that it's not fair No one else gets anything For anything they do in school Yeah But that's You're stealing from athletes Well it makes you professional Because you're getting paid for your for your craft now well then if if

it's going to be the athlete's going to work for free the fucking show should be free it should be free tickets damn anybody can go you just broke the internet yeah that's what it should be like oh okay we don't get any money well you don't get any money either we're doing it for fun or you're doing it for fun what are we doing if games were free yeah holy shit that's how it should be you don't want to pay me free everything's free you can't charge money and keep it all you greedy that'd be the worst audience by the way that's the free audience is the worst audience the one you know the weird thing about colleges is the dudes who've graduated and they're rich now and they donate money keep that football program alive they give you a fucking stack.

They're investing in their community, player. They love it. Like, Jamie loves Columbus teams. Anything from Columbus, he gets a boner for. He gets super. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to stay away from this one. Are you watching the basketball tournament?

There's stuff going on at Ohio State with the Epstein shit. They've invested a lot of money at Ohio State, and they're trying to figure out if they need to give it back or not. Oh, did he go to Ohio State? He didn't, but he's involved in Columbus business, and so they've given a lot of money at Ohio State and they're trying to figure out if they need to give it back or not. Oh, did he go to Ohio State? He didn't, but he's involved in Columbus business and so they've given

a lot of money to the football team. Have they determined that his money, like how his money was made? Through sex trafficking? Oh, yeah. Like Epstein's money?

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I know he was managing that one guy's money. I mean, how much from sex trafficking? That would make him a plantation owner.

Like, in a sense, right? Because he's like, he's giving out flesh. He's getting paid for flesh. What was his, allegedly what he did was he would find young girls. Yeah. And get them to give him massages. And they'd be like, you guys should, you know. Yeah.

Get in my tribe. Yeah. The prosecutor. Look how mad you are yeah prosecutor a real creepy way of describing it too he said that he thought it was impossible for him to control that his impulses were impossible for him to control and he was a great flight risk so they didn't want him to have um see if that's true so his therapist was saying this so they're trying to protect him but it it's also like, are they trying to cure him? See if that quote is true, because I'm pretty high right now. The prosecutor said that the Epstein fellow had impulses that were impossible to control.

That's how he felt. But a lot of those guys, they say that, right? Even like the Jared, all the guys say that. That's the thing, apparently, about pedophiles, is that the recidivism rate's so high. If they do go to jail and then they get released, boy, man, they do it again. Right, because I get away, I can do that. I can deal with that. It's not just that, I think they're broken.

I think it's like, you know that screen that was just all fucked up? That's them. That's them. It's a glitch yeah i think i don't think we should assume that you know if you if your brain is working well and your body's working well you just can't assume that everybody's is and i think yeah but it's also like you feel bad for i mean like we feel guys who like who are born with maybe like severe cerebral palsy right like in a sense that's what's happening to them you know like they they can't control this urge but then it's also how do you fix that instead of like shaming them? Right. And a lot of it is apparently a lot of pedophilia is brought from through sexual trauma.

Right. So if someone is molested as a young child, apparently there's a high likelihood that they're going to do a higher likelihood rather that they can. So it's like the HIV virus. It's it's just you're you're breaking someone's wiring like the wiring to the way they interface with the world as a young age at a young age and you're fucking up their life in a horrible way and they said about michael jackson right it's like he got touched earlier then it was like he just he was using that as like hey i this is this is normal to me yeah what did he ever allege happened to him? Did he ever explain what happened to him? No.

There was something where he was talking about how he had all the surgery so he didn't have to look like his father. I remember that. Really? Yeah. But that's also, it could also be that. So he was scared of his father. Yeah. And every time I look in the mirror, he saw his father.

Yeah. Man in the mirror. Yeah. I don't think that's what it's about. I don't think that's what it's about either. It's not about Joe Jackson. I think it's about getting your shit together. They also say because he bought the Beatles catalog that that's a smear campaign and they paid those kids off to say that about him.

That's ridiculous. It's a great conspiracy theory. I think people are, you know, they're crazy if they think it's normal for a guy to have a bunch of kids sleep in his bed. And he was weird. You know, Mike was on drugs.

That is off the charts bananas that anybody would let their kids stay there. Yeah. Off the charts bananas. It is.

Also, Mike was off the charts. Yeah. He had so many hits. The more hits you have, the more shit you can get away with until eventually... It says,

okay, Berman's dismissed a request for bail because Epstein's impulses are not likely to have abated or been successfully suppressed. That's not exactly...

I definitely... That makes more sense. I paraphrased hard. Is that how things get... Is the Florida governor? That's how rumors get started. So this is in Florida. You can get away with anything there. You used to's how rooms get started. So this is in Florida.

You can get away with anything there. You used to be able to. They're tightening it down in Florida. Thank God. I mean, what the fuck, Florida? 2019, it took you this long? Well, Florida was the place where the pain pill mills existed, where they have the management centers, the pain management centers right next to an Oxycontin store. Dude.

So you go to the doctor. You tell you, my back's killing me. The doctor's like, you need pain yes my back's killing me the doctor's like you need pain pills yeah i do need pain pills just write a piece of paper and then you literally go to the next door over and it was the building connected to them that sells the pain pills they'd have in the same spot sometimes that's like cocaine country too right yeah yeah everybody's so fucking high in florida oh dude florida crazy. It's crazy. It's got a history of high. I feel like the chaos of the 80s of all the cocaine is burned into the psyche of the land mass.

Yeah. And then the alligators moved in. It made it even more reptilian. Because when I was a kid, there was no- It made it more reptilian. When I was a kid, I lived there. I lived in- Did you really?

I lived in Gainesville. Yeah. Ooh. Gainesville, Florida. That's North Florida, right? North? I don't know if it's North. Is it North?

Sort of-ish? Middle-ish? Sort of middle? Okay. I mean, we were around alligators, but they were endangered back then. So they would tell you- Were they? Yeah, yeah.

They thought of them as endangered. People are so silly. They're like, we have to protect these fucking monsters that are around us. We have to. And when I was there, some lady's poodle got snatched. I think it was a poodle. It was a small dog. It got snatched by an alligator while I was there Some ladies Poodle got snatched I think it was a poodle It was a small dog Got snatched by an alligator

While I was there Jesus Yeah Yeah I didn't see it happen But I came like After it happened And people were all freaked out And they were telling you

To stop feeding them marshmallows We would feed alligators marshmallows And they'd keep coming back Well the thing is They liked the marshmallows So you knew If you threw the marshmallows The alligator would come up And eat it And they got used To eating. Well, the thing is they liked the marshmallows. So you knew if you threw the marshmallows, the alligator would come up and eat it.

And they got used to eating marshmallows. And then there was signs. They said, don't have the alligators eat marshmallows because it's apparently bad for the digestive system and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What, they can shit everywhere? They can eat a whole dog with a collar on. Yeah. That's better for digestion. I mean, it's not spitting out the dog's collar.

It's swallowing that collar. It's going to shit out that metal buckle. You really think a marshmallow is going to stop? So this attitude that they had that they wanted to bring back the alligator, it was a good thing. Because they really were on the verge of extinction. But then it became the opposite. So now alligators are everywhere so now like alligators people find them in their house yeah they find them in their pool

like they're snatching people up yeah they become rats yeah like rats in new york they're everywhere and they're so did you see that one that was really recently filmed walking cross a golf course no it is a dinosaur really 15 feet long i do love the gator though it's an awesome animal yeah it really is it's an awesome animal see if you could find that video the video of the giant alligator they and they said by the way this alligator is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 years old. Yeah. He's 80 years old. Okay. 80 years. That's an 80-year-old alligator.

God. He never experienced any kind of racism or Jim Crow laws. They're just. Yeah. Walking through. An eating machine. Yeah. Yeah.

Good for them. But here it is. Look at this. Oh, shit. You weren't lying. Oh, my God. He's 80 years old? That's an 80-year-old alligator. He's moving kind of fresh.

They say the ones that are really big, when they get to be that 15-foot length, because a lot of those are really old, 50, 60, 80. No arthritis. I mean, God. My friend shot one, and it was more than 80 years old. Shout out to John Dudley. That is a dinosaur. That is a goddamn dinosaur.

That means, rewind that again because we're both super high. I mean, what is he even doing? Imagine seeing that. Brian Moses, you're in your yard,

you're chilling, hanging out, on your phone, got your feet up and you see that walking across your yard. Yeah, I gotta get the fuck

out of Florida. You're like, how close is that to me? What the fuck? I mean, it's super dope. I mean, look at that thing. He's got a scab there, too. How much do you think that weighs?

Let's go half a ton. 500 pounds? I think 1,000, easy. Did you see the guys fishing and the one that's chasing them? That's a 500, Jesus Christ. I am high. He's reeling in a big-ass fish

and the gator wants it and starts chasing him on land and these guys like get the fuck out of the way you know oh my god it's a thousand pound gator big but it's big that's a lot of church shoes it's so big it's a lot of church shoes these things they live amongst us and they eat dogs yeah and they eat deer and everything else they can get their hands they have to eat a lot of food to maintain that fucking mass. Is this it? It was. So the guy, oh, my God, he's got the fish. Oh, he's got the fish.

He pulls it in. The gator's chasing him. Holy shit. Oh, fuck, man. Whoa. Look how agile he is. For 80? Dude, they move quick.

They move quick. I don't know who knows how old that one is. That could be a younger one. Oh, he's stealing this dude's fish. Yeah, keep the fish. Wow. He's got rub for his fish. He just got jacked.

That does not look like... Gator gang. Oh, that's a crocodile. Yeah, I was going to say that doesn't look like an alligator. That's a crocodile. What's the difference? Crocodiles have like a pointier snout and they're way more aggressive. Okay, so don't fuck with a croc.

Alligators are better. Yeah. Oh my God, they're better. Okay. If there was as many crocodiles as there are alligators in florida way more people would be getting jacked oh so croc is okay crocs will fuck everybody up crocs do not discriminate they get water buffaloes people they don't give a fuck they're real aggressive too there was this one video of um they had like an alligator farm and they were raising alligators and then they had one crocodile and so when it came time to feeding the one crocodile was like it's down sit the fuck down climbing on top of these like roosters and hens yeah like yeah but he was on the top of all the alligators fuck the fuck off of here and just

took control and was getting the food now will a crocodile eat an alligator that's a good question they eat each other do they really which one's a caiman where's a caiman that's a crocodile eat an alligator? That's a good question. They eat each other. Do they really? Which one's a caiman? Where's a caiman fall? That's a crocodile, but it's a very small crocodile. Okay. Caimans are small.

They live in the Amazon. Have you eaten crocodile? No. Or gator? Yeah. How's the alligator? How was it? I had it at a place that was like a fucking TGI Fridays type joint, and it wasn't the

best. It wasn't TGI Fridays, but it was like one of the Applebee's type places. Right, like a chain. Yeah, that serves Gator. And it wasn't fresh, but apparently when you get it fresh, right off the Gator, it's supposed to be really good.

Delicious. I think any meat could be like that. You know what I mean? Even rat. Yeah. But the alligator thing is like, did you eat the Gator? Yeah, we did.

We went crazy. What a weekend. You know? Yeah uh my brother and sister live down there and uh my brother got a gun pulled on him whoa yeah about like a delivery driver whoa so they're so my brother is a little baby my little niece and uh they're with her it's my brother and her in the back and then uh he's driving us in the neighborhood he's going the speed limit right like maybe like five to 10 miles an hour, probably a little slower.

And there's a delivery driver behind him. Delivery driver gets mad, starts honking at him, is behind him, right? My brother-in-law pulls into the driveway. Delivery driver pulls in behind him and is like, what do you want to do, man? And flashes a gun on him. And my brother was like, he's as big as you.

He's like a bodybuilder. And he was like, I don't want to do anything, man. He's like, I just want to know why you're honking at me. I've got my daughter in the back. She's like less than a year old. And the guy's just like, I'm not making this a race thing. And he's like, I'm not saying this is a race thing. So he's just like, well.

Because my brother was in the military, and he kept calling the guy sir. And the guy's like, you calling me sir? Are you in the military? And he's just like, I am, sir. I am in the military. And he's just like i am sir i am in the military and he's like well you're disgraced to the military and he's just like i just went slow enough because my daughter's in the back and you're behind me so he's like i don't understand what the deal is here and the guys was just kept just trying to egg him on to try to like provoke a fight because they're standing your ground oh yeah i mean it was when i heard about i was

terrified my my sister was shook she had to come home from work because it's like, you know, the baby's in the back, and this guy just pulled up into your driveway, and he's just like, if Quincy would have made a move and that guy shot him, that guy would have been on the right. How much of that's going on? It's probably happening all the time. Look what happened to Trayvon. That's a uniquely incompetent security guard, too, though. I mean, he was getting smashed.

He was getting his head bounced off the curb. By a 15-year-old, right. You know, that kid was fucking him up when he pulled that gun out. I mean. That happened in Florida, too. Wasn't that a parking lot, right? Where a guy thought he was being threatened by a dude with his kids in the car, and then he shot the guy. There's a parking lot in Florida.

I don't know that one. That's for that. I think that happened either last year or something, but that's definitely a recent one. People just having guns all the time seems like a great idea But the people like that having guns Yeah That's when it becomes a problem somebody somebody knows that you don't have a gun and they're trying to goad you into something so they Could shoot you like a yeah outlaw Josie Wales movie like that's not someone defending themselves. That's the weapon

That's that's why guns are creepy. It's not creepy because a guy like you has a gun you're a great guy you're not going to rob anybody no I don't need a gun you wouldn't have a gun but if you did have a gun I wouldn't be nervous I'd be like

well Moses has a gun he can handle it I'm not looking at there's some people that aren't good guys right if those not good guys get a gun

this was the one he was talking about where the guy was it's a big standard case where he's like on the ground with his hands up and he got shot still.

Really? The guy said he felt threatened or something, I believe. That's all they need is a reason, dude. Oh my God. That's all they need is a reason in Florida. He's on the ground on his knees and the guy shot him? Yeah. Oh my God.

Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I mean, when do you not shoot someone? jesus christ i mean when do you not shoot someone if there are if if you're willing are you willing to shoot me they flattened out i mean did you have to i thought it was always like if somebody's attacking you i thought i mean that's you're that's you're on the offense to flatten out yeah well like no you have to offer them money please don't hear me yeah here's how much i think my life would you accuse him mean, if you shot the guy

while the guy was flattened out, what about then? Do you think the same, you know what I'm saying? Do you think they'd have the same reaction? Because the reaction they had when they saw him

with his hands up on his knees, they're like, I don't know how mad you get. I don't know how mad you are with a gun in your hand, with a weapon in your hand to be like,

I'm playing God right now to this guy. I can kill this man right now with this person right here. So yeah it wouldn't i don't think it would matter would they accuse him what i'm saying is would they accuse him because they didn't he got away with he got away with it right he was accused though right he wasn't charged for this they didn't charge him that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying what that's what i'm saying the guy that he wasn't arrested yeah he's deciding stay in your ground law i'm reading right here

from the ap sheriff won't arrest parking lot shooter. That's what I'm saying. Oh, so they can't even charge him. No. That's what I'm saying. They're not going to charge him. That's like you can't challenge that rule like in football? You can't?

That's not a red flag? He said he felt threatened. And the black guy was just like, dude, I was on the ground. And there's closed circuit footage of it. Yep. But my question was, what if he had lied down? Lied down flat on the ground. Would then he be, I mean, when would they, what would the line be where they decide to charge him?

You know what I'm saying? Right, right. They don't charge a guy when he's on his knees. Okay, well, you charge him when he's lying down. If the guy's lying down, you just execute him. Does that still stand your ground? There is a manslaughter trial apparently now. Updated as of June 18th.

Oh, he killed that guy. They're looking to call the sheriff as a defense witness. That's insane. There's certain people that shouldn't have a gun. Now there's certain people, a lot of seasoned law enforcement people and people with good dispositions that would never in their fucking wildest dreams

shoot someone who's on their knees, would never threaten anybody with a gun, shoot someone who's on their knees would never threaten anybody with a gun and they have a gun purely for sense for self-defense that's a different thing you know but there's when you have everybody can have a gun that's you're going to get a certain number of those fucking guys yeah and they think wait a minute they think they're in the right i yeah i think we all gotta get guns i mean like is that not the is that not the move do we not all get guns this is america we can be racist and have guns and be on drugs well you have to be on drugs now it's new right there's gonna it's gonna come to a point like

could you imagine how scary are you of your kids to go to school now scary right scared when you have children you're very vulnerable you know you very vulnerable. You feel more filled with love than ever before, but you also feel more filled with fear because you're worried. I mean, that's one of the things that the Romans always knew. So make people have families. You can control them if they have families. Oh, that's fucking powerful. Yeah. You can control your family.

You can't control young dudes. Right. Young dudes with swords yeah we're single like you want them to get shacked up and have kids right that way they stopped doing that yeah and then you got to kill somebody's kids every now and then keep them in line jesus they did probably i mean that's what they did they did that from time-honored tradition you kill somebody's kid to keep them in line they did it with they've done it in the mafia they've done it with a lot of people i mean it's it's always been something that people

do to put fear in people you get people to when you have a lot more to lose when you have a family they look at it that way there's certain people that i mean when you study how to get people to listen to you and to behave and how to strike fear into populace that's why that's why they don't want abortion laws wow that's deep right there's if if there is someone that is really thinking we need we need to make sure that people have families so that they'll be more vulnerable yeah if there's someone that is following that philosophy, which is not my thought. Yeah, exactly. You said the Romans said that. But it's been around forever.

This is like a commonly thought of. Like a human, just humans born. They think that like, oh, we have to keep families, keep them alive. Well, when you talk about authoritarian figures, like people that want to have an iron fist to control the population the last thing you want is a bunch of young single guys running around with no attachments because that's how coups get successfully completed yeah a bunch of young mercenaries just decide to take over your fucking building like expendable style and shoot everybody you don't want that because

they have nothing to lose right you want a guy who loves his wife. He's got something to lose. And loves his kids. And he's got something to lose. And that's how you keep a society in order. And that's why you shouldn't be getting rid of babies. No condoms, no babies. No birth control, no babies. If someone really was plotting out a culture that way, like really masterminding it and really saying that, not just knowing that it is the case that people do change when they have children but then doing this and promoting this on purpose specifically to control people if that was the case yeah they would do that they would do that

too they would they would they would work against abortion because they would want more people to have more kids so they can control them that makes sense well good crazy crazy to think that way but it's it would only be like one factor i think the major fact is religion because if you are um if you are pro-life and a candidate is uh pro-choice in your mind a lot of times people decide that that person is against like god's law that person wants to kill children right so they almost feel like compelled to vote you know to vote against you if you're pro-choice i know but like are they thinking about well you know what if this mother doesn't raise this child now you have this you know this mother who's resentful of this child that she had that you

guys made her have and this child who's you know this lo child that she had that you guys made her have, and this child who's this loveless child now, and they both, she's got mental illness, he's got mental illness because he's looking for his mother's love, she's like, this kid ruined my dreams, this husband didn't stay, that kind of thing. And you're making these communities depressed and sad. And then you guys who said, no, you have to have that, you're not raising this kid.

You're not putting money in this family's's pocket all these things you're saying are true yeah it's one of those things where you could see two two like distinct patterns but infinite different varieties of completely the world sucks because the baby was born or the world is amazing right the baby's born right tim tebow says that you know he's that's the thing man it's true tim tebow's awesome it's true with all i mean it's you never know you never know but it's whose decision should it be and what is it that's the real question like what is abortion right what is it is it killing a baby or is it a medical procedure like which one is it oof that's a slippery slope that's where the debate falls in pro-choice pro-choice or pro-life it's not that these pro-choice people are um evil people no they just don't want anybody dictating

i mean it's not like an evil organization that's created by satan it's not it's not it's women that don't want you to tell them what to do with the reproductive system right that's what it is they want to be able to make the choice themselves but then there's other people that are pro-life and specifically the more militant ones which you know have assassinated abortion doctors i mean there are there are people that firmly believe that even if it's just a couple of days old right it's it's a baby right and that any sort of procedure to stop that in its place is murder you're murdering a baby and there's no if ands or buts about it and it's like the way they look at the the loony left and that they they buy into this bullshit and right you know that that

that's a narrative that you know that's how they that's how they really believe and people demonize people on both sides of it as if they're so different. And there's no way you could ever think any differently than the way you're thinking it right now. No, I think you broke it down just like, is it a medical procedure or is it the other way? And I think that's hard to get into. It is fucking very hard to get into. We'll be debating that until the end of time. Well, it's one of the most human subjects because it shows how complicated shit really is.

Right. And if you try to pretend it's not, then you get into late-term abortions. You're like, well, what's up there? When does it get weird for you? Right. Yeah, yeah. Is it six months? Does it get weird then?

Look, it's weird. Like, I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to have an abortion or should be. I'm not saying either of those things. I'm just saying to deny't be able to have an abortion or should be. I'm not saying either of those things. I'm just saying to deny the weirdness. The nicest term that I could come up with is weirdness, right? It is weird. I got a girl pregnant when I was a teenager, and she had an abortion. I'm sorry.

She had a miscarriage. Nature's abortion. I don't know if it was eight weeks or nine weeks and she was flushing out chunks of what she was calling the baby so i mean that's at like eight to nine weeks everybody jesus yeah yeah so wow yeah and she shouldn't have had a baby she was on crystal meth i mean that that shouldn't have happened so thank thank whatever higher power did that for us but um yeah that's what i'm saying like that i. Like that, I mean, that's why it's so messy. And it really is messy because you don't know what is what.

You know, she's like, it traumatized her. Yeah. You know? Makes sense. I mean, it's a crazy process that the human body goes through that men will never really understand. Because there's never going to be an opportunity where a body grows inside your body and then comes out

of your body the way a woman experiences. I mean, that's male-ing shit. Dude, women experience something that is so alien to anything that males experience. They grow a body inside of them.

Yeah. It's so different. We're so different in terms of how they interface with the world. They have to be nurturing. They want to protect the nest and keep everybody safe. And they're going to have a baby inside. Right.

Boom. And now they have to take care of this baby and care for it. And then the baby will become more people. And they'll start mating. And they become adults. And they have babies of their own. Yeah, yeah. These earthlings.

It's fucking wild. Yeah. It comes out of their body. And for us, we just we just shoot loads it's so easy this is like with the art what we do when we don't have a baby and what we do when we have a baby is the exact same thing like you to when you have sex with a woman and she gets impregnated it feels like regular sex yeah to us and we have sex all the time and you don't get pregnant and then all of a sudden you are so it's like weird like we

didn't even do anything we just had sex like we normally have sex yeah you had sex and now there's an extra person like whoa like what but there's a lot of times you say you associate sex with pleasure right like it is obviously but when you have a baby you're like oh it does that it does that yes that's what it does yeah sex does that so for a man there's no there's no difference in what happens to his body right like whether when he's having sex and a baby's conceived versus when he's having sex and nothing it's just fun there's no difference to him he doesn't feel a difference whereas a woman literally her body will fucking grow yeah a person a person with a brain that she's serious she's sharing vessels and things with his things kicking inside of her like that experience

it'll fuck you up for a man yeah i mean i would you look i do not like if there was an away that you could uh record what it's like to be someone, and then they give you like a little chip and you would slip it in there, and I could see you, like you would allow people all of your feelings, the way your skin feels, the way your emotions are, the way your psychology is set up, you would allow people to literally be you for a couple days. And the chip would do that yeah this chip would just sit in your head and you would be that person yeah i would i would like to feel what

it's like to be pregnant really yeah you want to feel that that like that rip that pain or just like no not the birth part okay so fuck that i don't want the dick such a straight male answer i don't want to get fucked i don't want to get fucked. I don't want to get fucked. I don't want to. Imagine if that was the only way you could feel it. But I would wonder what it would like to, first of all, be a maternal woman. I mean, I'm really curious as to what the hormones feel like, what it must feel like. Because I don't think we, you know, when you see a woman, you try to understand, like, what's the world through her eyes? Right.

You're never going to feel the way she feels. when you see a woman, you try to understand like, what is, what's the world through her eyes? Right. You know, you're never going to feel the way she feels. I'm never going to look at somebody else and be like, Oh, they can kill me right now all the time. You know what I mean? Yeah. That too.

That's a huge part. But I mean, even just interfacing with the world through a different type of human body, a female human body versus a male human body in terms of like estrogen and the testosterone ratio and how your maternal instincts and oxytocin and all these different variables, heightened sensitivity, you know, in certain situations. And they have like superpowers, actually.

You described it that way. They're making humans. Yeah. They're making humans in their body and they have to like make sure that everyone's safe around them because every now and then men will murder them. Right. Or rape them. Exactly.

Jesus. Crazy. Sorry, ladies. Sorry. But you really think about it. It's like what a mad relationship. It's mad. The relationship between males and females?

Yeah. It's mad. That's why I always laugh at dudes who get, you know, when guys get jacked for their divorce money, it's like, come on, you're going to be all right. You've got all the terrible things that could go wrong. That's just you just get jacked for some money. I like that perspective, actually. That kind of puts it on perspective.

You're just like, yeah, that's. Nobody raped you and killed you. Nobody raped you and killed you. Look, people get into bad relationships. I mean, I'm not happy that someone ever gets into a bad relationship. But if you get in a bad relationship and she's just a gold digger, and it's one like, oh, God. Like, I've had so many friends that have been like,

yeah, my fucking ex-wife, she wants more money, I've got to go to court. I'm like, wow. Yeah. But you can't get raped or murdered, player. But it's like, you fucked up. You shouldn't have married her, dummy. She didn't know. She didn't know and she didn't know she was crazy.

Would you rather get raped or murdered? Raped. Really? Yeah, for sure. You sure? I don't want either one. Obviously. But if a guy rapes me and I'm still alive, then I get to murder him.

Oh, shit. You got to think about it that way. So you can get to murder him. Yeah, you don't just get to unwind. I'd rather die. No, I don't get murdered. I get raped okay i'll wait but there's like there's a trauma with that though you know yeah there'll be trauma you're not gonna enjoy it yeah it's gonna be terrible yeah but but um it's better than being dead okay i'm not saying it's good

no but no all right but for me as a man as a human, I would rather be raped than murdered. Okay. For sure. Then you go John Wick after that. A hundred percent. Yeah. Just so everybody fucking knows. A hundred percent.

Don't rape me or I'll murder you. Yeah. I'll have a new goal in life. But you got to say goodbye to everybody before you do it. Oh, because you're done after that You're not gonna stay alive Yeah it's not John Wick John Wick just drives home

Yeah They arrest you If a dude fucked you and then you kill him And they go to you immediately Yeah They go hey did you kill That guy who fucked you I mean by the way

They're like me? Yeah No What happened? I mean what does a like me yeah no what happened I mean what does a cop say just like dude he raped me though he's just like yeah well

you can't there's a law you can't murder a guy because he raped you OJ says there are rules so you can't you can't

murder people I'm just saying yeah I'm just saying hey Twitter world can't murder people he's gonna make a shirt hey Twitter world someone's gonna make a shirt

with OJ's face someone's gonna make a shirt I wonder if like's gotta make a shirt With OJ's face Someone's gotta make a shirt I wonder if like He would sue you Right Because like There's people that If you made a shirt

Like if you made Say if you made a Conor McGregor shirt And you had some quotes on it You were selling it He could like Maybe sue you If you keep his face off of it

Yeah Or he'd come to your house With like a bunch of dudes And like Take all his stuff back But if you have a picture Of OJ's face Like lean into that selfie camera it just says hey twitter world yeah i mean

come on it's the twitterverse by the way because you keep saying it no no no it's oj's world it's hey twitter world he could do whatever the fuck he wants he did that shirt would be giant it's probably being made right now there's nerds that are listening to us right now that are going, they're just going to hit pause right now and make

Twitterverse. Yeah, you just made OJ some merch. Hey, Twitter world. OJ's got merch. No, he's not going to get that money. The money is going to go to abused women.

Good. And waiters. Waiters have been murdered by boyfriends. God damn. With a knife too Personal They never found that knife They never found that knife

Yeah who had that knife I mean damn OJ Damn OJ He held for like 70 And like an ex-convict He looks good He was playing golf all day Was he

That's all he does Even like He plays golf Goes out and plays golf He looks great he um seems to have at least a slight struggle with communicating right and walking he seems like he's got a little slowness to his voice where he's forcing it you know what i mean which uh is uh probably cte oh is that cte yeah but he sounds pretty clear pretty clear pretty clear

yeah there's a there's a hint there's a hitch you know you get it you see it in fighters or um just there's a you never know because it might just be you're tired right i'm thinking but there's some days where i'm jet lagged or tired i'm really stupid i can't i don't talk that good he also like you know he did beat two murder cases. That'll make you a little, you know, like, they'll take some out of you.

He's in his 70s, right? Isn't he? Yeah, he's in his 70s, yeah. But still, there's a struggle,

slight struggle to the way he's talking that makes me think he's dealing with some sparks. OJ Simpson worried he has CTE. I have days that I can't find words. Yeah.

100%. But CTE makes you murder people, right? That should, I mean. It could be. I mean, is that, would you use that today, OJ? That's what his lawyer had said. Oh, really? One of his lawyers had said that it had OJ Simpson, but it was a lawyer or was it a medical advisor? Medical advisor said I would bet my medical license

that he has CTE. Yeah, but he was also saying that it would have been a part of the defense right it would have been the crime had happened today i mean that's what i'm saying right that's what aaron hernandez they were saying ctv dude with all of them yeah and when and obviously you're in a super violent sport too it's like the most violent and then to you're gonna you're gonna have a high capacity for violence right yeah you know i mean that it does and then on top of that if you to you're gonna you're gonna have a high capacity for violence right yeah you know i mean that it does and then on top of that if you're you're fucking wirings you've been smashed so many times and they do get smashed and their wiring does go for some of them yeah fighters

and haywire yeah they get a little haywire chris benoit yeah That was terrible. That kind of shit is so terrifying. A guy could kill his family. I mean, and many people that have experienced extreme CTE have wound up, when they committed suicide, donating their brain. Right. That one guy, Junior Sal, he shot himself in the chest, right, so that they could look at his brain. That's hard, man. That's hard. I mean, that's hard.

How many fights have you been in? How many times have you been concussed? I don't know. I don't know how many times I've been concussed. I've never been knocked unconscious, but I got TKO'd in a kickboxing match. The last fight I ever had, I got cracked. I got cracked with a left hook it was like it was one of the weirdest times i've ever been hit because um i had been i'd definitely

been hit hard before but i'd never been hit where my legs stopped working they just stopped they just stopped like he hit me he caught me like right at the tip of my jaw with like a left hook that i didn't see coming and my leg just went weepsies they just gave out they gave out like they shut off there's a nerve in here you're saying that's kind of like you get hit and your jaw goes sideways and your head twists and your brain sloshes around in there yeah and it's like a bolt of electricity it's like it's like everything shuts off just shuts off um but i was still conscious but i was like oh shit what is going on here like this is crazy and i was like all right get back up to your feet so the referee

was counting he got to eight or something like that i got up to my feet they dusted my gloves off and the kid came at me again and hit me with an uppercut another punch and dropped me again then they stopped the fight so i was never unconscious but that was the worst i'd ever been like beaten in a fight where just knuckle sandwiches sparks flying jesus dude but uh that was the last time i ever fought but other than that there was a lot of like training sessions where you get kicked in the face or punched or there's a lot of those yeah it just just happens and most of the time you know if you get hit full blast it's an accident can you get tested for cte is that a thing they test there's no age test for ct they have tested a few people while they're alive they have to actually look at the brain to find the stuff so they have to drill a hole in

your brain yeah to prove to like have on the undeniable okay so you gotta die first yeah the they like to do autopsies on people with cte and they have crazy atrophied brains right the brain of an 85 year old person with with alzheimer's disease it's really nuts man like their brains are up. There's all these weird proteins get developed from the concussions. It's fucking. What, like, calcifies the brain or something? It does horrible things. It eats away different parts of the brain.

There's, like, these little dark spots and holes. Right. I'm not exactly sure what the mental process is, but the medical process is, rather. Sounds like dead spots. Like, your brain's dead there. That's when they always describe- There we go. Okay, former NFL player confirmed his first diagnosis of CTE in living patient.

Yeah, we had talked about this before. Okay, so recent, yeah. So they're able now to get some sort of an accurate reading of what your brain looks like and they can see the CTE without having to open you up. But I think most of the time it's when a person's already dead. Maybe their detection methods are getting better. Listen, man, if you look at that brain, go back to that real, that image

when the guy's poking at the brain and he's looking at the x-rays or the MRIs. Look at, just look at that. Just look at that thing. That, which is protected by a thin layer of bone is where all of your fucking thinking takes place all of it it's an organ and you get punched in the face all of that is just like detaching from the walls all the connective tissue what is that stuff called that that that real weird stuff that sits between what kind of connective tissue is that described as between the brain and the skull there's like a specific name for it oh like that

that that thin later yeah and that stuff gets ripped. It gets tears free, and you're fucking... Which, when you get hit, you're saying. Yeah. Sometimes people develop internal bleeding after fights. Jesus, dude. Yeah. Combat sports. Crazy.

I mean, it's your... Oh, wait, another guy just died, right? Another boxer? Another boxer. Two boxers died in a very short period of time. Yeah. Some people think that they should shorten fights now, that they should make them like eight rounds.

What, because guys are just bigger and faster and stronger? I mean, people just want to mitigate the thing. The damage, right? Mitigate the damage. But if you did that in the high-level fights, you'd miss amazing fights. Right. Like Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury,

if that wasn't 12 rounds when when wilder knocked him down the 12th round and fury rose from the dead yeah we would have missed one of the greatest moments in the history of the sport i mean that was an amazing moment man for two reasons one because you see how fucking hard deontay punches yeah and two that wilder who looked like he was dead to the world, rises up and then outboxes him for the rest of the round. Right. Survives.

Survives Wilder chasing him down. And then outboxes him. Then even tags Wilder. Has Wilder covering up. That whole round doesn't take place if you only fight eight rounds. Because it's supposed to be a test of endurance, too, right? Yeah. Not just strength and power.

For sure, yeah. I mean, maybe if people were only fighting eight rounds, it would be worse because they would go harder. Exactly. That's what I'm saying, yeah. And they'd be worse fights because, yeah, you'd exert all your energy in the first three, four, three, five rounds. The only argument against that, though, is kickboxing because in kickboxing, they've always had less rounds. Like kickboxing, like a Muay Thai fight, like a lot of times they'll fight three rounds or they'll fight five rounds. Yeah, but I never,

I mean, come on. I mean, because that's, that's insane. I mean, you're talking about tree trunks hitting somebody. You know what I mean? So awful. Yeah, that should only be

three to five rounds. You ever gotten a charley horse, like a really bad charley horse? Yeah. I had one like recently where like my whole leg stopped and I was like, this is possible?

I didn't know it was possible. Your whole leg could stop just from a charley horse. There's levels to it, but the worst I ever saw was Jose Aldo fought Uriah Faber. Really? And Jose Aldo was one of the most vicious leg kickers in the history of the sport. Oh, my God. His leg kicks were insane.

What year was this? I had to have seen this fight. 2012, maybe? Somewhere around there? This is like one of Faber's, like, what, like, fights before he, like, he's becoming big at that point, 2012. Yes. He was fighting for the title.

It was for the featherweight title, I believe, or the WEC title. Boy, I feel like that was like, okay, this is what it was. If I'm correct, I think it was, I think I'm incorrect. Yeah. Is that a, is that in the WEC? Yes, it is. So I think what this was was the UFC and the WC had a pay-per-view, but it wasn't quite the UFC yet, so I don't think they called it anything. I think they just called it Aldo versus Faber, and the UFC promoted it.

I think that was how they got around something that they were trying to do. Dude, that is Aldo in his prime, son. That combination right there is called the dutchie, where they throw a left hook to the body and a right leg kick. But this just showed you how goddamn tough Uriah Faber is. The impressive performance, for sure, offensively, I mean, Aldo was in his full prime. He was amazing.

But what's really impressive Is how Uriah Faber was able to endure I mean It was How many rounds did this go? It went the full distance Full five rounds Yeah

What's that? The leg Yeah then you see his legs afterwards Fucking crazy man Yeah When did they start doing Five round main events For the UFC?

That wasn't early? I don't think so. I feel like I'm remembering it's been this way for quite a while so it's hard to remember the exact year but they didn't used to. 2011. Oh, so this is like this decade.

That's when they started going to five rounds for main events. Dana White says all UFC main events to become five rounds for main events ufc dana white says all ufc made events to become five rounds right but before that championship fights were championship fights always five rounds i'm trying to go back to the early early days at this point five round fights have been contest or contests have been reserved for title fights only yeah that's what i said but when did they make them five rounds for title fights? Yeah, when did they decide that a title fights five rounds and a regular fights three rounds? Mm-hmm.

I wonder if that was from the beginning. Because you've got to remember, in the beginning days, they didn't even have time limits. Really? No. It was just, you went to, like, somebody got a submit? They had a lot of fights where there was no time limits. They were terrible. And you just fought until, like, somebody tapped out?

Yeah. That's badass. Like, somebody tapped out. Yeah. That's badass. Especially in Japan. Yeah. Hoist Gracie had a fight with Sakuraba that went like 90 minutes. Damn. Yeah. Why?

Well, in Japan, they had a different way of looking at these contests. They would make crazy matchups where you can't win't win by decision you could only win by knockout they would like crow cop who's like one of the greatest strikers in MMA ever because he came from k1 kickboxing he was big in k1 kickboxing then made his way over to to Japan and started fighting in pride and the first time he fought, he fought Vanderlei Silva. It was like a big time striker too. But they had a special rules match. And the special rules was if it went to a decision, it was a draw, no matter what.

If no one got knocked out, it was a draw. And if they fought on the ground, it could only be for like 15 seconds. It was like some crazy rule. So it was basically just boxing or just kickboxing. Yeah. I forget what the amount of time was, but there was a limited amount of time where they could fight on the ground.

Yeah. So I think- This must have been badass. It was crazy. Yeah. Because Crow Cop had the balls to step into MMA, like really with very little

real MMA training. Yeah. It was mostly just as a kickboxer. Yeah. But then he started, as his career got further, he got better and better at stuff and takedowns. So Japan would do that. They would make fights where one guy wears a gi, the other guy doesn't.

They made fights with Bob Sapp, who was like 370 pounds, against a guy who was 200 pounds. Jesus Christ. And he just sat on the guy? Yeah. Just smashes him. Just smashes him. They made a bunch of horrible mismatches. Yeah. Just smashes him. Just smashes him. They made a bunch of horrible mismatches. Yeah.

They'd make Vanderlei Silva fight someone who was just deathly scared of him, that was going to get pummeled into the ground, and they did it just so he could watch Vanderlei smash somebody. Yeah, they sound like circus matches. They had crazy fights, man. They had crazy fights. And you went over there to call the fights or just to watch them? No, no.

I only watched them here. I've never been to Japan to watch fights, other than the UFC. We did a UFC out there once. Yeah. That was fun. They're really, really polite. Are they? Yeah.

In between, like, while the action's happening, they're sitting there quiet and polite. Like, you don't hear a lot of, like, screaming and crazy. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. And then they get, they're very, they applaud, like, when things happen. Is that good for a broadcast? It's interesting. Yeah, it's got to be.

It's not bad be it's not bad it's not bad but it is different yeah but like like how was like Tyson and Buster Douglas like was that loud

I wonder right I wonder I don't remember like all those fights over there yeah you're saying like they're quiet I mean that would

that seems like it sucks but early on early on they were super knowledgeable like early on in mixed martial arts like if you watched fights from Japan

if somebody passed guard, everybody would cheer. Okay. Yes. Smart audience. Yeah, they know exactly what's going on. Okay. They're well educated. Someone gets a mount, they start clapping.

And like it's just a different, completely different kind of reaction from the audience. Yeah. Fuck with that. It's cool though. It's like when you watch the UFC events from Japan, it's changing. They're becoming a little bit more used to being rowdy

and having a good time. But in the old days, you could hear the corners crystal clear. Yeah. You're not supposed to. Press down with the butterfly. Down with the butterfly.

Look out for the right arm. Look out for the right arm. Okay, keep that overhook. Keep that overhook. And you would hear that. But he could hear it, too. Everybody could hear it. So the guy who you're fighting is hearing the advice against him. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. overhook. Keep that overhook. And you would hear that. But he could hear it too. Everybody could hear it. So the guy who you're fighting is hearing the advice against him.

Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Crystal clear because there's no noise. I mean, that must make fights, I mean, like, yeah, just long and boring because they all know your strategy now. No, no, no. No? It's still crazy.

It's still crazy. Just because someone knows that you're trying to get their arm doesn't mean you're not going to get their arm. It's still crazy. It's still crazy. It's still crazy. But it was really interesting because you could hear everything. You could hear them yelling out. It's nothing like Vegas. Vegas is like anybody screaming.

Yeah. Well, you know what? I find sometimes the most enthusiastic crowds are the ones that don't get the UFC there very often. So when it does get there, they get fucking super pumped. Right. I can't believe it's there live, you know? Like where? I mean, there's a lot of cities where we've gone to.

Texas always has wild-ass UFCs. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. Yeah. That's a good place for UFCs. But there's a lot of cities that just don't get it all the time. Chicago. Whenever we're in Chicago, it's big. You've never been to Chicago? No, no. Okay. it all the time chicago whenever we're in chicago

it's big yeah you've never been to chicago okay oh whenever yeah we're in chicago yeah i go to chicago all the time those are big drinking towns though fuck yeah yeah like i feel like yeah any like fighters town or big drinking town they're just gonna be like doesn't give yeah doesn't matter what it is yeah so when we're talking about reparations earlier yeah like that i don't think they should give money to people like today that's what i'm saying but what i think they should do is definitely put money like if you if you were a guy who was the manager of a city let's look at that let's look at the city like a city was a store okay and you're the manager of the store and but the the section over near the cleaning products it's everything explodes all the time and it's

fucking dangerous and mops are falling and you're like oh we got you know everything's in order city's good uh revenue looks good like wait wait wait what do you mean the fuck are you talking about you're the manager what are you doing about this look at this spot yeah he's like what oh no that's uh the cleaning products i mean i don't know what to do about the cleaning products they explode the mops fall off the racks i I just, I wave my hands at it. Okay. You would never tolerate that. No.

But a mayor, like that Pete Buttigieg guy. Buttigieg, yeah. He could have all sorts of chaos going on in his town while he's out there campaigning for president. Right? Yeah. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. You don't have to fix it.

You don't have to fix it. Yeah, but I mean, like, mean like well how do you feel like i'm saying it's an infrastructure problem so how do you fix it i mean so you're saying take what 15 or how whatever percentage from like all these big corporations and then like they should be i'm not even saying that right i'm but what i was saying though if there was a direct line yeah i mean i don't know if you even can do this anymore at this point in time but if there was a direct way you could show this is the amount of money that came from slavery and they still have i mean yeah how are you finding that out though i don't know yeah there's no way because by the way we can't even trace like you know what i don't know what what try what plantation i was even at you know what i mean or my family lineage is well there was a bunch of nazi money that they changed they traced they've traced nazi

money they've definitely done that they've definitely done that. They've definitely done that with certain corporations. That's a little more modern, though. I mean, I feel like you're saying from 16 or 15 or 14 until, you know, 1860-something. Yeah, we're dealing with like an 80-year gap.

Yeah. It'd be hard. But if there was like some clearly established business that used to be a plantation, you know? I don't know. Also, you know,

Jewish people like to like to can't you know keep things in account so like you can you can trace that money like there was no here's an unpopular thought this is this is what i think i think we should probably consider doing that with definitely areas that were impacted by slavery but then also areas that have been impacted by economic crisis too like not just the areas impact but like we have to fix the bad spots in the country all told yeah like full stop like we got to fix those people that live in west virginia in the mountains yeah the fucking pill people i mean any any trailers any poor community yeah but first like as a general acknowledgement of like what this country

was founded on you got to fix the areas that were fucked up by slavery the idea that you shouldn't it's like you aren't we on a team together okay aren't we team america right well team america would want all of its members to be in good shape yeah in good state we want less losers yeah right here's the way you get less losers you provide more opportunity and you fix the spots that are fucked up and there's no that comes with education though joe i mean you're talking about i mean the literacy rate is crazy down there so you're saying idiots you know what i mean but it's like it's no no no i'm not saying yeah they're idiots what i'm saying is they're stuck right horrible place right you're an idiot if you don't want to fix that no that's what i get that

i think it's just unpopular like no like here's what everybody wants you don't want to fix that. No, I get that. I think it's just unpopular. Like, here's what everybody wants to say. We want to get out of Afghanistan and out of Iraq. Yay! We want to provide free health care for everyone. Yay! We think that education should be free. I'm going to give you $1,000 a month.

Yay! Right? Right. a thousand dollars a month yeah right right but no one's saying our our whole thing if we looked at it as an ecosystem there's disease spots there's spots where it's not going well it's sick it's not doing well there's too much crime there's too much pollution there's too much environmental factors whatever that whatever the factors are taking advantage of communities those those whether it's environmental factors like the water in Flint, Michigan, or whether it is the crime-ridden streets of Baltimore or Philly or wherever it is where it's bad. Find spots where it's bad.

Those spots have to be addressed. You don't just address it with law enforcement. You've got to figure out a plan to slowly reinvigorate those spots where you there's no severe poverty left i like what you were saying earlier even about the italian cities how they do the mama pop thing you know they keep the money in the community right they haven't sold out to the to the corporations who are just like draining those those you know those communities right but the thing is it's like it's so tourism based they kind of don't have to because it's like this the places where i'm going to is like uh i went the Malfi Coast, which is like really popular for tourism.

And, you know, you go to these places. There's no incentive because there's people there all the time. Right. But I'm saying like there's no incentive to give in to corporations. But instead of like my parents having to go to Costco, maybe there's like a hardware store down the street that, you know, has like, oh, I'm just going to go to Pete's because he's got, you know, he's got cameras over here. So you keep the money in the community, that kind of thing. Or like local grocers, that kind of thing. You know, like, oh, hey, I'm not just gonna go to pete's because he's got you know he's got cameras over here so you're keeping money in the community that kind of thing or like local grocers that kind of thing you know like oh hey i'm not gonna go to uh vaughn's or rouse i'm just gonna go to you know edna's because she's got you know the cabbages i like yeah but what if you don't

have that then the only thing you got is target or walgreens like he's got a deal i mean i'm saying but that's that's you know that's there yes yeah that's those poor communities i'm saying like they're putting those there and they're just draining those people of just like, you know, maybe getting opportunities that, you know, they can thrive in like Italian communities. Yeah. It's, they also make it financially almost impossible to compete. Like you can't sell things as cheap as they can. Right. They get better deals. Like if you have a mom and pop shop and you're selling like shovels or something like that.

You can't sell them as Home Depot. Home Depot's going to or something like that we made these ourselves i don't give a fuck those shovels would be like five dollars less and that's all anybody cares about that that's a problem yeah right well then how do you build infrastructure then i mean i'm saying incentivize parents because like that's gonna like you know help those guys like maybe you know it's gonna help the whole family figure out what do we need to do about junior here or you know the little the little lady here and figure out how we're going to make them better members of society. I like that idea. Yeah. I mean, I think that if we could figure out how much they would get and where the money would come from, and if it did work, it would be insane.

I mean, you think about how much money you have to spend on the criminal justice system, health care system from assaults and all sorts of things when when people go bad yeah and what would you save if by in through incentivizing education and making sure that people get compensated financially for for education success and then all of a sudden it starts booming and then you have way less crime that would be amazing i'm saying bro i mean that that almost that almost feels like it's a no-brainer, you know? I mean, you're talking about infrastructure. That's infrastructure. Hey, dude, why don't you run for president?

You got any other awesome ideas? Because that's an awesome idea. Look, I'm obviously a financial moron. I don't know if that would actually, how much that would cost. But if it could be done, I think it would work. How much is your operation going to cost? I mean, like I hear it keeps, you know, and they keep saying we need to have it but it's like what does that mean is there is that an infrastructure thing or are we just giving people money isn't it a weird one because

it keeps coming up yeah it's like it comes up then it goes away and it's like hey you know we never fucking sorted this out i mean i'll tell you this i remember on uh god it was willie hunter he put on twitter he put his venmo he said white people if you want to give me reparations my venmo's open and he made like i don't know like 100 bucks and then uh we went on the road and then yeah we all he bought us uh skittles beautiful iced tea and hennessy reparation money that's just like you can't do that with the community man do you ever see when um hotep jesus walked into starbucks hotep jesus and demanded his reparation coffee. I never saw that. He's an interesting character.

I've had him on my podcast. But there was a Starbucks that got busted for telling these young black guys that they had to leave. And it became a big deal where they developed a new policy where they're never going to just tell people to leave. And so the problem with that was they'd be like, well, what about homeless people? Now you've got homeless people that have liked to hang around Starbucks. And the policy is they going to just tell people to leave and so the problem with that was like what about homeless people now you got homeless people that have liked to hang around starbucks and the policy is they can't even tell them to leave right but i go these black people and homeless people now starbucks the story was really uh it was big in the news that starbucks was racist and that they had kicked so starbucks was like apologizing publicly so while that was going on hotep j Jesus was like, I'm going to go get some free coffee.

So he went into coffee and he goes, I'm here. I can get my reparations coffee. I'm here to get coffee for free because I heard y'all were racist. And so the lady's like, yeah, I heard that. And she pours him a cup of coffee. She gives him a cup of coffee. I heard that. I love that.

She heard that there was something racist going on. Yeah, so she got free coffee. It's hilarious. Good shit, Hotep Jesus. I love that. She heard that there was something racist going on. Yeah, so she got free coffee. It's hilarious. Good shit, Hotep Jesus. It's hilarious. But it's, you know, Starbucks, like anybody can go in there now. Yeah, but it's all, you know, it's whatever coffee. You're still your big coffee guy.

I'm not a big coffee guy. I'm a black tea guy. Dude, I love coffee. We got a new coffee from Onnit called Fuck Yeah Coffee. I'm scared to try it. Apparently it's... Did you see it? Did you see the bag?

I have some. I've tried it. It's fucking ridiculous. It's really good. But it's got caffeine crystals in it. Yeah, I was trying to... I didn't know what that meant. How much caffeine does it have?

I just made a French press of it, so I couldn't tell. Were you off the wall? I don't even think... I think just like we, I don't think caffeine affects me like normal people does. Jamie's a robot, dude. Jamie's a robot. Jamie takes takes edibles they don't do a damn thing really oh my god i've tried to have you yeah do not get into an edible eating contest with jamie yo that's that's a million dollar idea he's a robot oh you'll kill people he's a robot he just throws them down they don't do a goddamn thing to him that's what it is what it is. One out of 20 times may be a small effect.

Yeah, but like a small effect for like 500 milligrams. He's got good genes. He's got really good genes. You took 1,000? I took 1,000, yeah, and played some video games. And four hours later, I was like, all right, I'm a little tired. I'll stop. Yeah, you got like that gene.

There's like a gene that actually, let's go back to HIV. There's a gene that some people have like you can't get it. Yes, there's some people that can't get HIV. With their edibles. Isn't there a movie about that where they use a guy because he's got the one gene? Oh, what is that goddamn movie? I feel like I've seen it recently. Oh, I did.

Okay, here's what it is. It's called The Man Who Shot Hitler and Then Bigfoot. And I saw it recently.'s a sam elliott movie it's a whoa okay and actually wow it is an interesting movie he can't get hiv i enjoyed it i watched it on a flight and i downloaded it because i was like what is this right what is the man who shot hitler and then bigfoot but i'm a big sam elliott fan and it got good reviews so uh i said okay i'll give it a shot it's really interesting okay i mean he i mean it's they're not hiding it he shot bigfoot and then hitler the man who killed hitler and then bigfoot when did this come out i don't know and he can't get

hiv the thing was that he had a very specific gene. They brought him back to service because after he'd killed Hitler, he's an older man. But he had a very specific gene that made him immune to this disease that Bigfoot had. And that Bigfoot was sick. And that his virus was killing all the wildlife that was anywhere near him. And there was a dead zone around bigfoot they were tracking him and they had to have someone go in there and kill bigfoot so they bring in sam elliott when he's like 70 years old spoiler alert to go in kill bigfoot it's fucking cool i enjoyed it man i mean it's not it's not you know 2001 a space odys, but it's a fucking cool movie. It's definitely a B movie.

I mean, damn, I didn't know. Is that Bigfoot? Where? This little shadow thing? No, they see him pretty up close. I mean, maybe they don't show it in the preview, but it's pretty up close. It's gnarly. Is it?

I don't want to say too much. Yeah, don't. Yeah, completely spoil it. But he does kill Hitler. Yeah, well, killed Hitler and then Bigfoot. It says it in the title. People really want to kill Hitler. That's like a thing that movies are doing huh yeah yeah you know i was watching a video of hitler tweaking hitler's on speed you know he did a lot of speed yeah he's at the 1936 olympics and he's sitting in the audience like this like

i was like an actual like footage of footage yeah actual footage apparently somebody had taken it and sped it up and uh made it uh unrealistic just to show like make it look like he's really really really tweaking yeah and then um it was hard to find for some people to find the actual speed footage but this is okay this is the actual speed footage, they believe. So he's just rocking back and forth, tweaking. Wow. He does have crackhead energy. That's amazing.

100% tweaking. So, I mean, there's no way you rock like that if you're not tweaking. He's like fidgety too? Where's his left hand? What is happening there? He's touching the... He's got a glove? His left hand's got a glove and he's rubbing a gun on his dick go back to that let me see that again replay please look at this how weird is that man how

weird is it to see that guy go full screen so he jerks off with his gun look at he masturbates in a way he's literally i'm just joking about a gun i don't think it's really a gun but he's definitely got his hand on his dick he's like a guy who's freaking out He might as well be a meth head Right? How do they let this guy like I mean Look at him

He's got something he's touching his dick with See it? Yeah exactly I mean you said gun It looks like one His hand's curled over It does look like he's got something in his hand Dude he's rubbing something on his pecker.

Do you have a cane? Yeah. Oh, he's rubbing his cane on his dick. Maybe he's holding like a cane. Yeah. Maybe. Is that it? I don't know.

I'm just asking. But look, go towards the end of it, and we'll pause when you can see the hand right next to his dick. It's so weird. It is moving. Now, watch. Watch when you see his hand. Get that bar out of the bottom. There it is. Over the pants hand job that he's giving himself? Look,. Watch when you see his hand. Get that bar out of the bottom.

There it is. Over the pants hand job that he's given himself. Look, he's got something in his hand. And that something in his hand is in between his legs. You said cane. I mean, you might be right. I'm going to Google cane. You said, I mean, you were joking about the gun, but I mean, it could be.

It could be a cane. It could be a Ruger. It might be a gun. I think it looks more like cane now that I'm looking at it. But either way. Yeah, he's definitely rubbing his dick. Imagine if Trump was on TV just tweaking. Fucking tweaking hard.

Oh, fuck China. Fuck these fucking trade relations. Fuck Jeffrey Epstein. Fuck all these assholes. Just tweaking. Just tweaking. Could you imagine? He knows Jeff, right?

Jeff Epstein. Apparently he knew him. Okay. But apparently they had a falling out over a mansion i was reading a story about it over a mile like when he sold him or no they were both trying to buy some super exclusive property that was like the crown jewel palm beach it was this uh six acre mansion that overlooks the ocean it's on the beach it's beautiful that's a hell of a plantation for girls well these yeah well it's also one of those things where like if you're a part of these communities there's certain properties that are iconic and to own them it would elevate your

social status like did you hear trump bought those mansion dish so okay yeah some shit yeah it had like a name to it the place is Off the charts If you If you see it on TV Like you get a A sense That's not it What is this? I thought that was It's a cane

Apparently he's known To having a famous Walking stick I thought you were Showing Epstein and Trump He did He did have the cane What was

The house Google the The house That they competed About Trump and him Competed over a house Like A waterfalls The house. Google the house that they competed about. Trump and him competed over a house. It's got egg waterfalls. Well, it's really old, I think.

14-year-olds in every room. It's like if someone was a super billionaire character and, I don't know, named some famous man. Like the Hearst Castle. The Hearst Castle for sale. They'd all be trying to get it trump and epstein's friendship reportedly soured after they fought over a 41 million dollar palm beach mansion two weeks after the home's auction cops received a tip about underage women at epstein's house oh shit that was that was candy land yeah let's see if they have pictures of the place that's like a taj mahal look at that thing yeah that's it yeah that thing's gorgeous dude it's dope as fuck the the images are insane that's it right there click

on that look at that place so that's you get it they're fighting over who's got the biggest dick on palm beach if you own that motherfucker you bought that place like you're king baller everybody wants to have the party at your house right i mean so I guess there's just a few of these type of mansions down in Palm Beach, but there's a lot of them. I mean, there's, you know, I don't know what the number is, but there's a good solid number of them. I mean, these guys are competing against each other. That's fucking incredible. It's sort of like. It's like the White House.

Well, it's sort of like those houses in Malibu. There's some houses in Malibu where you look at there's one crazy mansion overlooking the sea and then another one next to it. Joe, I don't live in your neighborhood, Joe. I don't live there either, man. Oh, real shit. It mostly burned to a crisp. It did. I'm sorry. Pointe du Marais, it's crazy.

You fly over it now, it's like just so many houses. Just charred. Just charred yeah but those houses that where the people do live with that kind of a view i mean that's those are super super valuable and in florida and west palm beach apparently look at that super super wealthy yeah yeah 135 million dollars i mean uh property property million amazing italian renaissance style mega mansion in Palm Beach, Florida. If you buy that,

you're King Cock. You're just swinging dick all over. Come on in. By the way, why did God make the dick size? Why is that?

To make you work harder. Really? That's really the reason? Yeah, if you had a giant hog, you'd be just waiting around waiting for girls to come to you.

I'm saying, but he can make dicks all the same size. There'd be no competition. No, no, no no can't make ears the same size either sorry not noses not eyebrows no uniformity no eugenics okay yeah you gotta work harder you got a little dick you gotta figure out how to get by in this world like you're god's brain and those big dick dudes man they just don't have the motivation they hardly ever get anything done right they're just too too busy slinging dick.

You skirt around them. You pass them in the game. Take them on the inside turn. I didn't know that. That's what it is. All right. I don't know. I believe in God again now.

Look, it doesn't make sense that there are sloths. Okay? Why is that fair? Why is it fair? I bet they love their shit, though. I bet they love it They fucking hate it Do you think so

Yeah they fucking hate it Come on They always get jacked by eagles You know how embarrassing it is When the main thing that eats you is a bird And you're a mammal How often does that happen If you're not a mouse

It's not a field mouse and an owl That's hilarious by the way I didn't know yeah That they Everybody talks shit about sloths In the animal kingdom Bro They all talk shit on sloths.

Sloths move so slow that mold grows on them. Oh, that's gross. It's crazy. That's how lazy they are? And they just can't be any better? They just move real slow. That's just what they do. And mold grows on them.

That's gross. Yeah, I was at a wildlife sanctuary in Sylmar, I think it is. I take my kids there, And they got a sloth. Oh, my God. So cute. And I'm like, why is this thing moldy? And they're like, oh, it grows like moss grows on it. Like a green fungus, like a tree.

Like, look at that. Look at all that shit. Oh, my God. Moss growing on them because they're so goddamn slow that plants can grow on them. I mean, is that healthy? I mean, it looks great, by the way, guys. It just works. Yeah.

It's almost like camouflage. Yeah. But one of the main things that eat them in- Is it moss? Is this eagle called, fuck, what is it called? Harpy eagle. Thank you. Yeah, it's a giant eagle that lives in South America that just fucks up sloths.

And just eats sloths. Man, sloth meat. And monkeys, too. It eats monkeys, too. But look at that. in South America that just fucks up sloths. And just eats sloths. Man, sloth meat. And monkeys, too. It eats monkeys, too. But look at that. It's carrying a sloth. Damn.

I mean, well, yeah. That's not a big sloth, though. I don't know, but it's a big fucking eagle. That's a bear, yeah. It has fucking hands. Yeah. I mean, look at those thighs. Yeah, dude. That thing is all power.

All power. And I think that's the biggest eagle. Yeah, the harpy? I think that's the biggest eagle. I harpy I think that's the biggest eagle I mean damn Yeah That's majestic I mean those are small sloths

Are these like baby sloths That it eats Not like full grown No they eat a sloth sloth Sloth sloth They'll eat anybody Whatever I mean the sloth

Can't really defend itself Armadillo Oh my god It eats an armadillo Really Look how it's crushing The armadillo's body How crazy is that

How crazy is how it can Crush the armadillo's body How crazy is that How crazy is how It can crush The armadillo's body With it's claws That's one claw It's got it with one hand It's one handing that thing What would it do to

An arm A human arm Oh Fuck you up It would tear your meat apart We're so doughy man Yeah We're so like

So mushy It would just tear Your arm apart Just clawing onto your arm. That's why those dudes wear those crazy arm sleeves when they have a falcon on their arm. Right, because it would just, yeah. We're really easy to slice up. Yeah.

We have no armor. Look at that fucking thing with a rabbit. Woo, look at its legs. That thing's badass. It is a beast. It doesn't look real. That one's got a little band on its leg. It's been captured.

So they're either, is that a carving? No. That's real? So they leave the, oh, they leave the rabbit there and it swoops in to get the rabbit? It's hard to see what the fuck it is because all those watermarks. Yeah. It's so obnoxious with the watermarks. You can't protect your shit.

I get it, bro. What is that thing right there? Is that a fox it's about to eat? Right here. Yeah. So obnoxious with the watermarks. I get it, bro. What is that thing right there? Is that a fox is about to eat? Right here? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it is.

Yeah. They eat foxes. Damn. No, they look like they're fighting. The fox is fighting with the eagle over a rabbit.

Okay. They're fighting over food. All right. Yeah. Fox fighting over rabbit. Fox.

Yeah. The eagle stealing. Yeah. Just eat the fox. Eagle grab sloth from tree. Oh, the eagle stealing. Eat the fox. Eagle grabs sloth from tree. Oh, is that the sloth? Want to see a video of it? You should watch a video of the sloth because it is kind of fucked up.

Is that a deer? Is that a buck? It's a bald eagle. That's fake. One thing they do do, though, is they pull. They do do. Sometimes you do have to say do and then do again. One thing they do as well

Is they grab goats And fling them off The side of cliffs You ever see that No Oh that's hilarious They just fling them off Yeah they grab

That looks more real But I don't know Why do they do that Oh yeah that's real bro That's probably real But there's video of it They do it to kill them So they can eat them

Oh okay I was going to say Yeah don't they That makes perfect sense I was wondering why They're just doing it They're just assholes. Yeah, he's just kicking them off the cliff. That would be hilarious and perfect.

Well, that's what cats do. You know, house cats. Yeah. You ever see the numbers of how many animals house cats kill per year? You're kidding. It's in the billions. You're kidding.

B, B, billion. Cats kill other animals by way of like... Watch this, watch this. Yeah, we'll show that right after this. See, look, he's dragging the goat off the cliff and then drops it to have it smash against the rocks. Look at that. Jesus.

I mean, look at that. That is dark. And then it hits the ground and then the eagle swoops down and starts eating it. So it's like planning on throwing this thing off. It understands the consequences it understands that that thing can't fly so it's not just grabbing it swooping down and grabbing it it broke its neck it's throwing it into the rocks yeah throwing it off the cliff so he can eat it and that's brilliant fucking crazy that's brilliant what was the other thing we were

just talking about i said billions bird birds killed. Oh, the numbers. Okay. The sheer numbers of birds that house cats kill. Just house cats. Just meow out in the backyard. How? Just murder. Oh, they murder?

Okay, okay. Murder death. Just jump up and grab birds. I had this cat. Her name was Spaz. She was a fluffball cat. And she would bring me these birds. 1.4 billion to as many as 3.7 billion birds in the continental U.S. each year.

Cats kill from 1.4 billion to as many as 3.7 billion birds. Just birds. That's not mice. That's not squirrels. Just birds. Just birds. I had a cat when i was growing up and he killed a squirrel and was uh walking across the street with it in his mouth it was one of the weirdest things i've ever seen did he eat it or just like just carried in his mouth he just his name we call them kitty we were very unoriginal we're kids i had a name for

him that was like uh the black panther in a conan the barbarian book but everybody fucking hated gave me the veto on it they never called him they just called him kitty so we eventually just wound up calling him kitty but anyway very south park walking across the street with a squirrel in between his legs so he had the squirrel by the mouth by its neck rather in his mouth and he walking with the squirrel underneath him, just dragging it with it in between his legs. And it was almost as big as him. That's fucking nuts. I'm looking at this.

I'm like, what a creepy little thing I'm with. Because squirrels have like plague, don't they? No. Yeah, it's like that squirrel plague. Squirrel plague? Black plague, right? Wait a minute. No, squirrels.

Yeah. This was like last decade, I think, or maybe even this decade. What's the squirrel plague? Yeah, there's like a black plague for squirrels. Really? Yeah, dude. Well, I know there was a couple. I think it was a man and a woman.

Right. Here we go. Los Angeles. Whoa. There we go. Plague-infested squirrel caused the closure of a California campground this week after it was found during a routine trapping. Los Angeles County health officials confirmed.

This is 2013. Actually, don't ever touch dead squirrels. Bubonic plague. Bubonic plague. Holy shit. I think that's what those people got that ate that marmot liver. There was some people that got sick and died from the plague really recently like within the last couple of months because they had eaten a raw marmot liver a marmot is like some kind of a rodent and they had killed

this marmot and ate its liver and this is here in the states mongolia it was in mongolia i thought it was in america mongolians mongolian couple died right but they didn't die doing it in america thank god to make sure that they didn't come here and get it but this says i thought it i thought the story was they died over here and like they had come over here and tried to reenact some sort of uh a ritualistic uh meal oh where they eat this raw liver and they ate this raw liver and got the plague son does it say where it happened i think it was there okay um yeah it's like certain countries in africa too that was like uh you can like eat human right like like cannibal like uh legally i don't know if it's legal i know there was like a story I read on it or something like that about these like places in like Africa.

Yeah, you can like eat humans. This is ultimate stoner talk. It really is. Sorry about that. No, no. I read about it. I'd be reading. Well, do you remember the, I don't know if you ever saw this.

There's a vice piece on Liberia. I think that might have been it then. Yeah. Vice guy to travel Liberia where they were saying this guy who was his name was general butt naked and uh general butt naked uh he'd become a preacher later in life yeah but when he was younger but naked yeah when he was younger he would go to war totally naked and he would shoot people oh that was in beast in no nation was it yeah you see beast in no nation no okay it It's with Idris Elba He plays like an Idi Amin

Or a What's that thing called? Coney Whatever it was Anyway he's got these Child soldiers basically And yeah They just go from like

Tribe to tribe And just kill And they just genocide He's got a bunch of tribes How about Whatever happened with that Yeah Coney

Remember that? I think he's still like a Like a warlord But do you remember how It was like this gigantic Movement And it was this big thing and everybody was talking about it and then this one guy in san diego that was a part of starting it he wound up being naked wandering around the street masturbating in front of people and some crazy yeah that made him like incredible did i make that up he was doing something along those lines right he he basically had a schizophrenic

break or a psychotic breaker i'm not a doctor something went wrong something went wrong yeah he blew a few that's the cat yeah uh they called him tripod in that but i think you're talking about the same guy like when he went to war like a child soldier yeah he was butt naked i think it's a different guy because this guy his name literally was general butt naked but i think there's a bunch of them that did that but anyway on the liberia show he said that he busted these street cart guys selling human meat and he said he knew because he knew what meat tastes like because he had eaten it what the fuck so he knew that it was human meat he knew it wasn't pork he knew it wasn't beef liberia is crazy by the way bro i mean like they stay self you know they have slaves out there. Just imagine the gall of going to the cops and saying, that man is selling human meat.

Well, how do you know? Well, because I've eaten it. I mean, fuck. Fuck. Would you eat human? It depends on what you have to do to stay alive, right? Right. Like, where are you?

What's that? Like, if you were in that movie, Alive, when they're scooping the dead dude's butt with a broken spoon. Yeah, like Donner Pass or something like that. What are you going to do? I'm saying like as a foodie. Like, you know, you go to like a restaurant. As a foodie. That's what I'm saying.

Like, if they cook it up nice, you know what I mean? You get some Tabasco. You're probably eating a dude's foot. You get foot soup. Or dick soup. A dick burger. Well, there was one guy. Okay, here dick burger well there was one guy okay here's another there was one guy story there was one guy that i had read about where uh online he requested that someone

kill him and eat him damn that's his death wish yeah and i think it was in germany of course they met together and got together with the guy the guy guy cut his dick off and they cooked it and they ate it together. He ate part of his dick and then the guy wound up killing him. Wait, wait, wait. So this guy was alive and they cooked and ate his dick? Oh, they ate his dick together. They did it together. That's so German.

It was this guy's idea. He requested it. Okay. On like Craigslist or one of those things let's cut my dick off and then and eat we're gonna eat it and then you're gonna kill me and he wanted he wanted the guy to eat him too and i think the guy did eat some of them but there was a question as to whether or not i mean a person's a lot to eat how do you how do you prosecute that what do you do like if someone said i want you to cut my dick off and you cut their dick off i want to cook it need it and then you both cook it need it i want you to kill me and

eat me okay and the guy kills him and eats him like what is that what is that it's not a regular murder i think i'm reading the same story is that manslaughter filmed it oh they filmed it yeah yeah they filmed it oh like him cutting his dick off and they're eating it yeah i think they filmed it Oh but like him Cutting his dick off And then eating it Yeah I think they filmed The whole murder What's the threshold Oh so it's like a snuff film Yeah Yeah But the guy requested it

That's gnarly Yeah Pull it up so we can We can read it This one's from 2003 That's why I'm not sure It's the same one Yeah that's the one

Okay Yeah Yep I owe myself to you Unless you're dying From my live body. Wow. Yeah, he posted a personal ad saying, seeking well-built man, 18 to 30 years old for slaughter.

Whoa. For slaughter. He wrote, I offer myself to you and will let you dine from my live body, not butchery, dining. Whoever really, all caps, wants to do it will need a real all caps victim all caps exclamation point the two started swapping increasingly explicit emails and on march 9 2001 brayden took a day off work never to return he sold everything he owned including his treasured sports car wiped his computer hard, and bought a one-way ticket to Castle near Frankfurt.

Armin met him off the train. They bought painkillers at a chemical shop and headed back to the house. At first, Brandis got cold feet and wanted to return to Berlin. Mews said, but he reconsidered, swallowed painkillers and medication to make him sleepy, he said.

Now, do it. Mews set the video camera rolling and went to work with a kitchen knife. Wow, dude. We went into the bedroom. How do you say his name? The bathroom.

How do you say his name? Mews? M-E-W-S? Mews told the police, Brandis lay in the bath so the blood could flow away, and Brandis slowly began to lose consciousness. Muse passed the time reading a Star Trek novel. When the Berliner finally passed out,

Muse cut his throat. After he was consumed over a number of months, the 30 kilos of flesh he had put in his freezer. Wow, dude. Mews went on the internet in search of a new victim. Oh, so he became a taste for this. Frustrated that he could only find people looking for cannibal role plays, Mews began boasting about Brandis. Someone from the chat room informed the federal police who swooped in on Armand Mews' house in December 10th last,

surprising the coy cannibal and startling the unsuspecting neighbors now that's that uh sociopath psychopath thing you were saying earlier yeah because are you a psychopath are you a sociopath at that point i mean because i do not feel empathy even for a guy who's telling you to kill you but you're just looking you know to kill somebody because you have a taste for blood now. It became his thing, right? Yeah. I bet whatever he did during the day was boring. And I bet that, as psychotic as it is, was exciting.

And then he became a serial killer. Chasing that feeling. Yeah. What is it, Jamie? What's the matter? Oh, he's got it. I don't know why did that pop up. I found a website that had seven or something interesting facts about this guy.

This is the first one. He sauteed and ate the penis with his victim. Yeah. That was the story, right? Yeah. Yeah, they cooked it together. Sauteed it? Wow.

Look at that image. That's not really how it went down. Yeah, that's enough, though. Does it say how they sauteed the penis um it's too chewy for them either of them to enjoy so they proceeded to fry it up with some of his uh flesh and fat and a bit of garlic oh dude that's hard i mean that's not hard but that's i guess it's like you're worried about the end right and then you just say i'm gonna take control i'm worried about the end, right? And you just say, I'm going to take control. I'm going to bring the end on. And here it is.

We're eating my dick. This is over. We're eating my dick. Yeah. This is not going to last. Eat my dick. And then he goes into the tub to die out from warm water with his dick hole bleeding out. Just really insane stuff.

I mean, that's really, yeah. I mean, to live through that, by the way. Well, you got to think that there's just such a wide range of crazy people. Right. And there's some crazy people like that that want to be eaten, and some crazy people want to eat you. And if they find each other. No, that's the beauty of the internet.

You can do that now. You couldn't do that back in the Donner era, or even the 90s when the Brazilian soccer team ate each other. How long do you think that guy could have kept it together? If he just ate that one dude before he could find another guy that would let him eat him. If that was his thing, would he just start murdering people? Right, exactly. Would he go Dexter?

And that's what I'm saying. Bad people, yeah. That's fucking terrifying. What'd he go, Dexter? And that's what I'm saying. Bad guys. Bad people, yeah. Ooh. That show. It's fucking terrifying. I mean, just to go there, kill the guy. Read a Star Trek novel, by the way. Why the guy's bleeding out in a tub. Yeah.

After you ate his dick. That's some psychopath shit. Picking dick out of your teeth. Not that I'm going to share with you guys. There are pictures of this online. Oh, no, no, no. Don't do this. I don't need this. What? i don't need this what i don't want to see yeah so dick is too chewy i was like don't do this whatever you're gonna do don't do this it said the jurors had to seek therapy after they

watched the video oh yeah i bet they did of course they did of course they did you imagine being a juror and they force you to watch that video yeah i don't want to see anybody yeah i don't want to see you eat a dick and you're the only ones watching it right because you got to think that it's not like they're broadcasting on television i mean on fear factor you guys did it like a it was always like the big thing of like eating somebody's penis right or something some things basically every day yeah no bull penis one time they had to eat dicks right yeah they had to eat like bull dick deer dick pig dick or something like that i forget what the dick are but it was a bunch of different to eat dicks. Yeah, they had to eat bull dick, deer dick, pig dick, or something like that. I forget what the dick were,

but it was a bunch of different kinds of dicks. No human dick. It's just something so strange. I had a bit about it. Never in my life did I think that I'd be standing in front of a girl with a plate full of animal dicks going, you can do it. Hang in there.

Keep going there Keep going Keep going Control your mind Control your mind Coaching them through it Nice Through eating Eating pig penis

Ridiculous Pig dick But It's like you can't You can't kill yourself It's not legal to kill yourself It's illegal Suicide's illegal

And it's not legal to kill yourself. It's illegal. Suicide's illegal. And it's not legal to eat people. And even if someone tells you to kill them and eat them, you're not allowed to. Even in Germany. That's assisted suicide, right, technically? Yeah, but it's cannibalism, too. We don't allow that. No.

Humanity doesn't allow that, right? Mostly. There's some tribes. There's a few tribes that still practice cannibalism. Particularly, I guess I was reading. I'm just not interested in what a human tastes like. Well, it's probably not good. Right? Or gross.

Yeah, we eat a lot of trash. Cannibalism. There's no laws against cannibalism per se, but in most, if not all states, they've enacted laws that indirectly make it impossible to legally obtain and consume the body matter what that's when you put it that way yeah it doesn't sound too appetizing if you can get it the body matter somehow wait a minute wasn't there a show on cnn where one of their guys they they wanted him to eat charred flesh like he was uh examining different religions do you remember something

along these lines it was like some outrageous thing it's like gupta sanjay or the uh no i don't think it was sanjay gupta it was someone else but there was they were he he visited all of these different religions and people that live their lives in different weird ways and one of them i know the show you're talking about yeah i don't remember that episode god you're right it wasn't gupta it was uh another correspondent he eventually got fired for cnn for saying something about trump which is hilarious yeah as you raise the aslan sparks outrage after eating human brain in new show it takes like charcoal see the problem with that too by eating a human brain is that i mean maybe these cults or these tribes or whatever he's involved with does do that if the brain has prions prions are

what gives you mad cow disease oh really yeah yeah you can yeah you can get sick from that and die yuxfeld what is that name of that jacob jacob jacob jacob cruxfeld disease okay and it's um it's basically mad cow disease and you get it from prions get it from brain tissue so and it takes they survive like thousands of degrees yeah cruxfeld jacob disease that's it okay so it's a rare degenerative fatal brain disorder and affects about one person so some people get it without cannibalism um but it also does happen see one person every million worldwide in the united states are about 350 cases per year crazy so it must be like really charred though it doesn't matter i don't think really yeah i don't think it does he's still he's still alive

yeah well he might not have had the prions of someone who has a disease okay but if that person did that's why it it like it has to be the temperature that it has to be cooked at it's supposed to be insane. I think prions can survive, like, more than 1,000 degrees for a long period of time. Okay. And that's one of the fears of, like, mad cow disease. Like, you're really not going to be able to cook it well enough to keep that shit from getting in your bloodstream. Yeah.

Fuck. See, Google how long. Jamie, you're Googling off the chain today. You got extra Google. A lot of flesh talk today. Yeah. I was just looking up stuff. What temperature do prions survive in?

Because I think it's more than 1,000 degrees and they can still survive. Which I remember reading that going, oh, this is terrible. Mad cow disease. Zombies. Zombies. Yeah, exactly depends i mean i mean you hunt your food so you're not worried about that yeah but you should be worried because there's a thing called chronic wasting disease and chronic wasting disease is essentially a form of like mad cow disease like very similar type of degenerative disease that affects deer that it's affecting an

increasing number of them they're spreading across the country Yeah Now it hasn't made the jump To humans yet Okay But it could So I don't want to worry you here

But You can't hunt deer anymore man Prions cannot be destroyed By boiling Alcohol Acid Standard autoclaving methods Or radiation

That's what I'm saying Or radiation That's what I'm saying So they're like roaches They'll survive everything well you know what they are they're god's poison okay when god's like enough like no fire no flames no ice no water you ain't fixing this yeah this is coming in hot yeah and this is there you can't bryans are forever the lethal proteins are in the hard to kill hall of fame and may be more common than we realize.

See, this is what I'm talking about. So these things, this is what affects people when they get mad cow disease. And this is also what it affects cannibals. Cruxfeld-Yuckup or Yuckup-Cruxfeld? You got it the first way. Cruxfeld-Yuckup. CJD. Okay.

Cruxfeld-Yuckup disease. Butup-Kruxfeld? You got it the first way. Kruxfeld-Yuckup. CJD. Okay. Kruxfeld-Yuckup disease. But it affects cannibals. They found out that cannibals in New Zealand, New Guinea. Cannibals in New Guinea exhibited the same sort of symptoms as people with Kruxfeld-Yuckup disease. Google that, Jamie. I don't fucking eat people. Cannibals. Cannibals that get Kruxfeld-Yuckup disease. Those poor cannibals. Well, they't fucking eat people. Cannibals. Cannibals that get Cruxfeld-Jakob disease.

Those poor cannibals. Well, they're eating brain matter. That's what it is. Yeah, just eat the flesh. Fry the flesh. Just eat the booty. Yeah. Just eat the booty.

Oh, here you go. Just only pork butt. Yeah. They evolved their resistance to it. Because they were getting it so much. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. Good for them. The practice of cannibalism

In one Papua New Guinea tribe Led to the spread of a fatal brain disease Called Kuru That caused a devastating epidemic In the group But now some members of the tribe Carry a gene That appears to protect

Against Kuru As well as other so called Prion diseases Such as mad cow So they evolved They evolved that generation wow like a super like a super bug fucking life finds a way man to eat more life away i wonder how long it's going to take before we're physically addicted to phones to the point where you needed

to stay alive i mean like you need warm clothes right in a cold environment you need warm clothes, right, in a cold environment. You need a warm house. How long before you need a phone? Like here's the thing. The phone's going to help you. It's going to make everything better, but you need it. So it's almost like a heart monitor. Like I'm going to need this.

You have to have it. Wow. It's going to take generations. If you just call it an access point to the internet instead of a phone, a way to access that information. If you just call it an access point to the internet instead of a phone, a way to access that information. Yeah, don't just call it a phone. Call it an electronic soul. I mean, well, the phone is the only, with the access to that matrix, which is the internet. And that thing's not real.

You know? Unless you live inside of it. It's not real yet. No. It's drawing you in, though. How often do you use your phone every day? Obviously, yeah. Hours.

Obviously, right? Yeah, we've talked about it. Everybody just gives in. Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, I your phone every day? Obviously, yeah. Hours. Obviously, right? Yeah, we're talking about, yeah. Everybody just gives in, obviously. Yeah, I'm using it. I'm not saying I'm above it. I'm just saying it's... And I'm not even sure why. Sometimes I'm searching Google News just to see if something's interesting.

Yeah, I'll look at the same news feed. What do you got? Nothing in politics? Okay. What about entertainment? Nothing, nothing, nothing. How about science? Give me some science.

Come on. What do you got for me? What do you got for me? What do you got for me? Just constantly, instead of thinking about what I'm doing, constantly searching for some new data. It's weird. Right? I mean, it's happening.

I like, I mean, yeah, we can't get rid of it. No. I mean, you're talking about these are the, like this generation of kids, like this is the two girls, one cup generation. You know what I mean? Like they get to see it at like five years old on their phone. Right. That's, that's going to change. Yeah. So I think when you're saying that's going to take generations, I mean generation. You know what I mean? Like they get to see it at like five years old on their phone. Right. That's going to change.

Yeah, so I think when you're saying that's going to take generations, I mean, it could be what, a few generations removed from like where you just, you don't know any better

if you don't have a phone. Wow. So we'd be the faces of death generation because like our parents probably never saw that shit, but we definitely did. They saw it in the war, son.

Yeah, they saw it in person. We saw it on tape. You weren't there, man. We were the first bitch ass generation generation i mean look i mean my generation yeah we're definitely bitch asses well when you go back to like world war ii like everybody was signing up right right and those yeah people just signed up for the war but then they got around to vietnam i was like what yeah well why were there? What the fuck are we doing over there? They manipulated that war, though,

so that was different. World War II, like, you know, Pearl Harbor happened. You know, there's no Pearl Harbor that happened for Vietnam. Even 9-11, like, you know, like, the guys were signed up to go, you know, quote, unquote, fight those terrorists, you know, this faction of dudes. Like, how many guys came back from World War II

with horrific memories? Right. Remember Saving Private Ryan? Yeah. came back from war world world war ii with horrific memories right remember saving private ryan yeah that was one of the best depictions of a historical event and to put it into like real perspective what it probably was like when those guys were getting gunned down on the beach yeah you thought you yeah you didn't know if it's gonna be you or not yeah but it's also whoa this is real as fuck and then imagine leaving that and coming back and like you just had to be normal yeah because most movies that we saw about war like go back to like john wayne movies about war they were never gory it's like bang oh and the guy would like fall down you know ah hold his stomach you didn't see anything and then later even in movies like

apocalypse now yeah i mean it was still wild it still gave you this feeling of war but there was never anywhere near the gore of that scene in saving private ryan yeah you see people with their legs blown off and their guts hanging out you're like holy shit that's war that's what a war i mean that's war yeah we never saw that you never see that unless you're there in the war or unless you're watching a movie like that because the movies that whitewash it they give it this feeling of like oh you got me yeah it's one-on-one always bang bang yeah i think what they're exposed to as far as their entertainment in the 1940s and then boom you're there and you're seeing real war i mean that'll fucking yeah that'll scare you straight like why would you want to go fighting that

they were scared the germans taking over the world they saved the world from the nazis that's one of those rare that's a great way to put it save the world from the nazis rare wars where it's not that it's not that sloppy it's like pretty clear right you got a real these guys are yeah they're evil right right empire you have a legitimate evil empire that's killing people they killed six million jews yeah or whatever the number is what is the number they always yeah i said 5 million one time and somebody correct. They always correct. It's always 6 million.

Whatever the number is. Some insane number of millions of people were killed by this one group of humans. Genocide. And there was something that

history and pictures or one of the Twitter accounts that I retweeted a few days ago that had they showed all these SS officers

laughing and with like kids on their laps and the caption was something to the effect of don't ever think that the people that you think of as monsters are not human like humans are capable regular humans are capable of horrific monstrous behavior if they all agree to it and And so it showed these SS officers, and they just look so normal and laughing and ha, ha, ha. Meanwhile, there's these Jewish skeleton people living in a cage just a few yards over.

Isn't that what a cabaret is about, kind of? I was watching the movies on CNN. Yeah, they're kind of saying cabaret is like it's showing how all these funny, nice people, and they're Nazis. I didn't see that movie. Who's in that movie? I forget who's in it, but I know it's like a musical. Liza Minnelli.

Liza Minnelli. There we go. Wow. Never saw it. Is that what it was really all about? I didn't know that either. I watched that. I learned about it through Tom Hanks' The Movies on CNN.

Well, you've obviously never seen The Man Who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot. Nice. All of it. It would be clear. You'd understand. Sam Elliott's my guy. You'd understand why the Nazis are so bad. Yeah, it's...

We haven't had... Yeah, you're right. We haven't had somebody as evil as the Nazis. Right. Right? But they've tried to make guys like that, you know? Yeah. The Viet Cong, Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden.

But that one was clear cut. Like everybody was like, oh, Jesus Christ. Let's go get Hitler. We gotta stop this. Yeah. This motherfucker. When you see him scream in front of the crowd like, We want, we want, we want, we want that!

Yeah. Why would you follow that? They're all high on fucking methamphetamines, aren't they, though? Let's say yes okay even if we don't know eat that nazis he was tripping that video of him he was definitely tripping yeah he was rubbing his cane on his dick he's tweaking but a whole country's into that they're just like yeah this is our guy we're gonna do whatever he says yep yep they didn't even know yeah they didn't even know like what it meant to have someone like him run a country back then.

How drugs like Pervitin and cocaine fueled the Nazis' rise and fall. Wow. Despite Hitler's anti-drug rhetoric, Nazi Germany used a little courage pill called Pervitin to take Europe by storm. And it turns out it was pure methamphetamine. Wow. There it is. Pervitin, methamphetamine. Wow. There it is. Pervitin, methamphetamine,

hydrochloride. Who made that? It looks like the fucking Germans did because it's in German. I know I'm saying like who, like what company? What company's making Pervitin?

Some Nazi company. Okay. So they were just giving out everybody meth. Yeah. Instead of methed up country. That makes sense. That'll kill 6 million Jews.

Yeah. Oh, okay. It says still couldn't dick ditch an axis power meeting so hitler's personal physician injected the fuhrer with a drug called eucadol think oxycodone combined with cocaine to perk him up so physician took a significant risk in doing so after all hitler was prone to latching on to addictive substances and refusing to let go. But in this case, the injection seemed warranted. Hitler was doubled over

with violent spastic constipation, refusing to speak to anyone. Immediately after the first injection, and despite his doctor's wishes, a revived Hitler ordered another injection. Hitler then left for the meeting with the gusto of a soldier half his age okay so it was like yeah he was he was methed up man yeah he thought

he's taking like super pills or whatever he was taking liquid cocaine and meth and oxycodone hitler reportedly spoke for several hours without stopping yeah at the meeting with musolini hitler reportedly spoke for several hours without stopping the ital the meeting with mussolini hitler reportedly spoke for several hours without stopping the italian dictator who sat massaging his own back dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief and sighing had hoped to convince hitler to let italy drop out of the war he never got the chance he never got a word in edgewise oh my god so can you imagine being poor mussolini you're over there talking to hit. He's methed out of his fucking mind. And you're trying to tell him, look, Italian, we don't want to go to war.

We want to back out of this. We'd like to just kick it back. You know what I mean? Good luck. We hope for the best. And Hitler comes over all methed up. Have you hung around speakers? Yes.

Here it says, Jamie's trying to show us this. He won't let it go. And Hitler comes over all methed up Have you hung around squeakers? Yes Okay Here it says Jamie's trying to show us this This is what He won't let it go This is what one episode Amid Hitler's almost daily drug use Which included barbiturates

Hey old school Bull semen Bull semen Bull semen Testosterone Opiates And stimulants Such as Pervitin

A courage pill So he was taking Meth Isn't bull semen Like taurine or whatever Bull semen is taurine Isn't it Like

Sounds like it would be Yeah Like Red Bull Is like It's supposed to be Like something It's supposed to be Like some kind of

Bull jizz Yeah bull jizz Yeah Take that Red Bull That's again Some serious Don't I've heard taurine

Am I right Is he right Taurine is bull semen Oh my god Bro I'm in here That's, again, some serious stonemaking. I've heard taurine. Am I right? Is he right? Taurine is bull semen. Oh, my God. Bro, I'm in here, Joe. Taurine is a key ingredient in Red Bull. It's named after it, I think. Monster, rock star, and other energy.

It's an organic molecule, not an amino acid, named for the Latin taurus, which means ox or bull, because originally taurine was extracted from bull semen. Red bull semen. So originally taurine was extracted that way. Okay. But it is an ingredient in bull semen. Okay. So the taurine in red bull probably doesn't come from bull semen,

but taurine is in bull semen. Okay. So Hitler was getting his taurine right from the tap. From the source. Do you think he just sucked the bull's dick? The best way is to suck upon it. Suck the dick? You get it from the tap when it is fresh.

It is 700% more potent. The Fuhrer just gets down there. They hold the bull back with straps and buckles. It's kicking. And Hitler gets his sloppy Nazi mouth right over that fat bull hog. And that is apparently the origin of that upper lip mustache. That upper lip mustache was to catch all the succulent drops when he's choking on jizz. The flavor saver.

And that giant bull dick is pummeling the back of his throat and fills it up. When he comes out of his nose, because a lot of the jizz comes out of his nose, that's just enough mustache to catch the jizz. So that's why he had that mustache. A lot of people don't know. I can't believe that many people follow that kind of guy. I mean, like, and everybody's just cracked out. It's a perfect jizz-catching mustache.

If you think about it, if it's coming out of your nose, which it does do, right? Like milk does. Right. You know, you cough when you're drinking milk and it comes out of your nose. So semen's coming out of your nose. Semen's coming out of your nose. And he's just, yeah. He's catching it, savoring it.

No. No. You're saying, I mean, I'm just saying. How many people were in Germany at that time? How many people were in? Millions. Were SS soldiers? I wonder. That's a good question. Right. How many people actually in Germany at that time? How many people were in? Millions. Were SS soldiers? I wonder.

That's a good question. How many people actually joined? Yeah. Well, I think you had to be a part of it, right? Right. Otherwise, you were. Hitler Youth as well. Yeah.

It was a whole, yeah, the whole society was that. Yeah. It was all, yeah, it became Nazi Germany. National socialist. What is it? What is the actual, what does Nazi actually stand for? I mean, didn't shut up for seven hours? Dude, poor Mussolini.

National Socialism, I guess. That's it? The National Socialist German Workers Party is what it was. So they were socialists. Imagine poor Mussolini. Didn't he kill more people? I don't know how many he killed. How many did Mussolini... Stalin, didn't he kill the most? i don't know how many he killed how many muslim stalin didn't he kill the most he killed the most yeah he's yeah he's like uh he's he's kareem adul jabbar of uh

mass murder he's got the points record too man how do you when you're a person like that you didn't used to be a stalin yeah right you were just a person and then all of a sudden you're in a position of power and then all of a sudden you're in a position of power. And then all of a sudden you're responsible for the death of untold millions of people. Oh, yeah. Almost tens. So Mao was the most by a long shot. Okay.

Look at Mao. So Stalin, it's Hitler, and then Stalin. 17. Yeah. No Mussolini on the list. Okay. Yeah. But Mao. Mao was like 400 million, right?

It says 78, but yeah, I don't know. Okay, Google Mao might have been responsible for 400 million, because there was an article I was reading yesterday. 400 million people? Yeah, they revised the amount of people that they think were dead directly because of Mao. Oh, okay, so like indirectly,. You're saying directly killed 400 people. Some insane number of people were killed during Mao's reign. What are they saying? That's crazy.

Wait, wait. There's a place called Mao's Kitchen. 45 million. Maybe I added a zero to it. It's a great leap forward. Maybe I added a zero. Most likely. So 45 million.

And the other one said 70? 78. So it's between 45 and whatever the other number is. So he's number one With a bullet Wow He's the guy responsible For the most death

During his time Again though There was a kitchen There was a restaurant Here in Los Angeles Called Mao's Kitchen Jesus That's disrespectful as fuck

Tyson has Mao on his arm Oh does Well I mean You know He's supposed to kill people Well when he was in jail I think He probably read some

Philosophy from Mao I mean Yeah Those guys I mean those guys He just wants to kill people Well I was in When he was in jail I think Probably read some Philosophy from Mal I mean Yeah Those guys I mean those guys They write good books Well Mein Kampf is

It's pretty good Is it? Did you read it? I read it in English yeah Are you allowed to read it now? Like when you read it You're probably allowed to read it Like if you buy

I don't think you can buy it today Yeah but If you tried to buy Mein Kampf on your Kindle If you're If you're into like Sales stuff It's like

It's literally It's just like talking about the sale. I mean, it's obviously talking about killing Jews. What is it talking about? The sale of? It's just talking about how they can overcome. And it's like his struggle is basically just, it is a propaganda book, but it's like, from a sales perspective, you're just like, I see where he's coming from. Not saying that, I'm condoning it, but I'm saying you're like, okay okay there's so much passion in it you know what i mean like a moment it's like a

memoir so he's selling to the people that they can overcome the economic situation that germany's in and they could rise yes and if you tried to buy that today to read it yeah people would assume i was young i read about it by the way i would think it was yeah oh you can buy mine come on buy it on amazon but come on son You know you're on a list. I am now. Right? I read it in the library. They had it in the library.

But if you buy it today, you don't think you get on the list? Yeah. For sure. If you buy a Confederate flag, you're on a list now. Oh, yeah. For sure. If you buy a Dukes of Hatter DVD set. You're on the list. You're on a list.

Are we doing Jeff Foxworthy? Especially if it's one on the cover, the one with the general lee leaping over the fucking canyon with the confederate flag flag clearly book that i think it was maybe the one you talk about a lot but i remember in the 90s or late 90s you people were saying if you went to the bookstore to buy this book you're on a list and if you had to go buy with cash and like wear a hoodie and cover your face yeah i remember that it was always those stupid rumors yeah what was the book i think it was the the cross book that you've talked about, The Sacred Cross.

Oh, The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross? Yeah, yeah. Was it really? That's the one I would have heard of. My rumor might get passed around a lot in five years or something. Do you remember A Course in Miracles? A Course in Miracles was a book that was going around, I want to say in the early, early 90s.

There was a bunch of people that were telling you to read some book by this couple, and they were channeling an angel. Really? They wrote this book. And yeah, it's one of those books where like, I don't know if it was any good because everybody that recommended it was so annoying. Like Eat, Pray, Love? Was that the other one, The Secret? Well, it was extremely spiritual, air quotes. Okay.

And it was all about how to live. And it might be an amazing book. But I remember everybody that wanted to recommend it, I always had like a pfft. All right. And I was a young man at the time, and I was very dismissive about a lot of things that i wouldn't be dismissive of today but the i remember it was like one of those books where annoying people loved it yeah you've got to read this book right yeah it's like this book transformed me it's a gift i'm giving you this book because i want you to read it and it's going to transform you too wow yeah this is me giving my love to you maybe uh i'm reading a book about someone who said they

were channeling an angel and that's nonsense right about that how about how about i have to think about the fact that it's a nonsense person website for it foundation for inner peace look at look at the light oh it looks like the dianetics. Just the Heaven's Gate. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, it's very cultish. What is the, what's the origin of it?

Is it, am I correct? Did it come from someone who like channeled an angel or some shit like that? Isn't that the idea? I don't know. Well,

let's Google what is the origin. Containing curriculum aiming at assisting readers and achieving spiritual transformation. Am I conflating this with some other book? We were talking Mein Kampf. Where someone was... It's almost the same thing. But where someone said that someone wrote it for them.

That it was written as they were channeling. Oh, really? There's someone on Oprah to talk about it in 1992. Did they say that? Am I making this up? I'm trying to see what it says. I'm reading too quick. So it's on Oprah's book club.

It's on Johnny Carson, too, also before that. This book got around. Right. I don't think you're going to find it from there. Just Google, what is the origin story for A Course in Miracles. But it was one of those books where if you were dating a yoga teacher, you'd go to her house, she'd have it on the coffee table. On your way to the vegan restaurant, let's go.

I mean, because you think, if the nazis do win that does become like the coffee book my comp yeah you know if the nazis want it's super inspirational and in her voice she identified as jesus uh began interacting with her and acted as a stimulus triggering a series of inner experiences that were understood to her as that. And that's what she returned. So the same guy who wrote the Mormon Bible said the same thing. Joseph Smith. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what it is.

So I'm correct. So it's like a Bible. Wow. It's like one of those things. Like maybe that happened. Right. Maybe that happened. I mean, it sold some books, obviously.

Or maybe you're crazy. Maybe you're out of your fucking mind and you want people to think that you're special. So you wrote these rules on how people should live, and they're pretty good. They resonate well. They make sense. Sounds like the original Bible, too. Yeah, you're not 100% crazy. This is good structure.

We assume that if someone tells a crazy story like that, they're 100% crazy. Right. They don't have any good ideas. You could be a fucking crazy person with a couple good ideas like mike is fucking crazy but i'm telling you they said jk rowling was crazy oh she's gotta be crazy you know what i mean so there's she's got harry potter shit writing about little boys yeah that's all you're writing about yeah little boys and magic magic you could be a little girl and be with those little boys and everyone be happy and happy and happy.

I think you can be a woman and do that, right? You can be a dude and do that because then you're like... Yeah, dude writing about little boys? Yeah. Not good. Yeah, it's definitely a flag there. You used to be able to get away with it, right?

Mm-hmm. Dr. Seuss, all those guys, right? Mark Twain wrote about Huckleberry Finn and those boys. I thought that you were going to snort that. I was like, oh, all this meth talk. Mushroom elixir. Ooh. You want some?

What's it going to do to me? Make me... Lion's mane? Juice me up? No, no. It's good for the brain. Oh, perfect. It doesn't taste bad either.

Thank you. Is that actual lion's mane? Yeah, lion's mane mushroom. Not lion. It's like a lion lion. Right. It's a mushroom. Shut up.

I just drink it all the time, and I feel like I'd be rude if i don't offer you some thank you you're the man yeah let's see so um i was gonna correct something you asked me earlier uh ufc 21 was when that changed there was a significant rule change and they joined with the council of mixed martial arts commission and ufc 21 prelim bouts that had two rounds that were only five minutes then. Three five-minute rounds and championship rounds changed to five minutes. That's when they added the 10-point must system. So prelim rounds were two rounds. Championship rounds were three.

Championships were five. Championships were three. Everything else was three. Oh. So before that it was two, though, you said? But this was also pre-Dana and pre-Fritita'sititas so they were still mixed like the gracie stuff they were doing it so they just had five minute rounds until the thing was over unlimited five minute rounds that's right i remember that shit that was uh that was madness but it wasn't as bad in terms of madness as the

japanese ones the japanese ones were fucking crazy they did so many nutty things yeah they had so many like crazy freak shows and they still do right i got this lady named gabby garcia she's like six foot two 240 pounds amazon they have her fighting like housewives she beats these ladies and it's all consensual right like when they're signing up yeah okay they like freak shows right i mean yeah look at their game shows yeah yeah exactly what is going on with that it's all consensual, right? Like when they're signing up? Yeah. Okay. They like freak shows. Right. I mean, yeah, look at their game shows. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

What is going on with that? It's just, because I think they're such a repressed country, aren't they? I think so. Yeah. I think this is like, I don't think they have like bending machines where like guys have like- There's Gabby. Look at that.

She's a monster. She's bending up housewives? Look at the guns. Yeah. Pull up a video of her giving some motherfucking- That's Ronda Rousey That's not real This is real

That's Gabby That fight's real So look at the size of that woman That she has to fight I mean like What is up with the definition Though Gabby Mexican supplements

Okay 100% Nice She's Gab Keep it 100 Yeah Look at Yeah

You're bigger than your trainer I mean like That's Vandalee Silva that's nuts that's crazy yeah she's a big lady yeah but so anyway

Japan loves that that was when she was real thin at one point in time she'd gotten like real ripped and small and then got right back up to Gigantai again to win in these fucking Japanese events

is she in UFC? no she fights for I think i don't know which one might be rising doesn't say which one but um yeah why is she not like a so i mean well she's bigger than i go with every female in ufc yeah she's giant so she's got no she's giant. So she's got no division. Yeah, she's giant. She's 6'2". I mean, she's in the 240-pound weight class, somewhere like that. So she's a heavyweight. She would be a heavyweight male. Right, you can't.

Yeah. Yeah. Gabby. I mean, there's no heavyweight female weight class. This is her a couple weeks ago. She's not that big anymore. Oh, she's shrinking down Hey

Good for her What up Still probably 200 pounds Damn Okay so she's jacked and tan again She looks great Looking thin Yeah

What up Gab She's strong as fuck Yeah And she's a World champion jiu jitsu player too So she grabs a hold of these girls And just pummels them But they had Bob Sapp

Back in the day Like I said He was like 375 pounds He was fighting guys were in like the 200s yeah he smashed so many people there was so many guys like that that fought in japan where they had these freak shows i mean crazy i saw one the other day like a thing where like a uh like a woman and her nipples are just like almost like uh like cones and it's like the game shows like these guys are just like put their fingers in the it's just wild i mean there's just so many wild things in japan like you can see things like that it's gnarly bro well they are the birth of a lot of those crazy game shows right i mean a lot of the game shows like even fear factor like would that

have even happened if it wasn't for the crazy japanese shows what's in the water over there to make them think like that and we were saying saying they're oppressed, but it's also, I mean, why are they so oppressed? Have you ever seen Bazooka Man? Uh-uh. Bazooka Man was a

Japanese game show where a guy with a bazooka would show up at people's houses. Okay. With like a real live bazooka?

Mm-hmm. With a missile in it. So he'd be in bed. Okay. He'd be in bed sleeping. And Bazooka Man would shoot the

bazooka at your wall above your head while you're asleep this is a real film it what they would film it this thing would explode above your head shoots a rocket launcher through your fucking wall boom and this guy's like they wake up fucking screaming there's a hole in the wall above their head and the audience in japan's like do you have it on tv you can find it you can find the videos bruh jamie will find it what is that that's a real thing might have a different name okay maybe rocket man okay so i'm pretty sure it was bazooka man and it's a real Whatever it is, it's firing out of a cannon that's on his shoulders and it's hitting the wall and it explodes.

Right? Google a Japanese game show where they blow up a wall behind a contestant. I mean, how do you not have a heart attack when you wake up? So they're dead asleep. Yeah, you easily could. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, I mean, you must sign a death warrant before you... For sure, you could definitely get a heart attack, though.

Jesus. And these guys are dead asleep and they all sign up for this. This is all consensual. Basically. Okay. As far as I understand. I don't think they sign up for it. I think they're just allowed to do stuff like that, and then they give you money.

Okay. If you survive, right. Well, I don't think they have the same concept of lawsuits that we do over here. Okay. You got it? No, no. On my way to finding it, though, I found one. This is called The Bum Show

Where girls would put their bum In a hole And a guy Would Kiss it Or something Eat their ass Yeah, basically

Right on TV Hmm Okay I don't see the Can't comment on that one They have different ways of living They really do They have a different style

Can't hate it Can't be hating on them. Jesus. Is it China or Japan where they have these crazy work hours, right? Like factory workers or just the whole economy. It's just like work all the time. And they have vending machines where you can just like pocket pussies basically. Oof.

Yeah. Yeah. And they guys were just like they're, yeah, they'll just use those things. They'll toss them. Oh. And just go back to work. Oh. Yeah. Wow. I want to say and just go back to work. Yeah.

Wow. I want to say that's Japan. That could be wrong. Well, they're both known for their work hours. Right. So sex just isn't a part of the routine. I was watching some documentary or reading something, rather, on Huawei. Huawei's this Chinese phone company, and the guy had a bed underneath his desk. It's the craziest image.

He's in his cubicle and his stuff is above him and he's got a bed laid out under his cubicle and he's asleep. With his glasses, he's at work, exhausted.

It's like an 18-hour day, probably. I don't know. Making cell phones so we could take selfies. China has the biggest uh economy though the biggest yeah don't they do they aren't they number one oh yeah the chinese i've been pretty right on this whole episode joe very right you've been shocking right damn so largest economy china yeah and what's number two it's america number two because that's somebody needs to tell trump

oh he keeps saying number one yeah yeah i'm sorry to uh hurt anybody that didn't know that but china is number one i guess it depends on what you're using to gauge economy as a general it's like that's the thing oh it's not subjective i'm sorry it's not objective or you know give me people because it says our gdp is 19.39 trillion and china's is 12 which is their nominal but over more people i guess it's 23 trillion so that's technically higher that's why it goes i don't know what you want to okay yeah yeah yeah what you're based on your economy on so gdp we're killing it, but as far as largest economy, it's the Chinese. Yeah, they got way more people, obviously. Okay, so that's probably why, though.

They have the largest economy because they have more people. A billion humans, right? Yeah. Is India bigger? Are they the biggest country still, China? That's another good question. I think it's close. It's a hot race between China and India.

There's stuff from earlier this year saying China and India are gaining on the U.S. as the world's top economy. They're poised to take over next year. So I don't think. It really just depends on what you want to. Imagine if Trump is on to something with all these sanctions. Imagine. You were talking about that health insurance thing earlier. I learned a weird thing a British comic had told me when I was over in London.

Last year doing the roast battle over there. And he was like, you know, like, you guys don't have free healthcare. He's like, but your healthcare is better. He's like, usually when I get like a, he had like a bronchial thing. He's like, normally it takes like two weeks for that to cure over here. He's like, I went to America, it took like 48 hours. So that's what we're paying for, just the better drugs. That makes sense.

Not just better drugs but like probably more motivated doctors but they're getting paid but are they more motivated to keep people in and out of their office and shuffle them quick and stuff them up with pills versus where in england they're not motivated by like a quota right maybe they're just just trying to help maybe it's different because they get paid a certain amount and health care is free and they're not motivated to earn additional profit by you know suggesting surgeries or making someone get on medication i don't know yeah but it's all i mean if you're talking about and listen i'm a doctor i'm making money over here right

wouldn't you want to keep a guy, you know, sick as possible so you can make more money out of him? Yeah, but that's like, again, some dark conspiracy type thing. Definitely. How many people are really thinking like that?

Right. But I'm saying like two weeks compared to like 48 hours. I think it's just a shittier system. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Maybe the argument can be made that profit based systems are more efficient because people are more aggressive because they want to, they want to make money.

So they get things handled quicker. And they believe in it more it's almost like i'm getting what i paid for maybe yeah i don't know i mean i think it would be nice if people didn't go out without health care though the problem is like the idea that health care is not a human right well if that's not a human right what else do you have right Right, your human health, right. If someone gets hurt and you're just going to let them die because they don't contribute enough change, they didn't put enough money in the box. Yeah, I'm basically bankrupt now because I got a scraped knee. It seems crazy that we would somehow or another

keep people from medical care. Like, you don't have enough money. That should be the number one thing that they take care of. Food and medical care. Food, shelter, medical care those things you know not necessarily in that order yeah the fact that medical you're on your own like what how come we can't pay for that well we can pay for the this and pay for the that we can fund that and fund this and we're gonna go to the moon and we're going to Mars. Yeah, but you can't have healthcare.

But then again, it's like people are so resistant to socialism. They don't want anybody taking over. The Nazis weren't. No, they fucked up, though. Look where that ended. That's true. Terrible. They're all on meth.

That's true. They're methed up. Maybe non-methed up socialism is the way to go. But the problem is people are almost all methed up here now with the fucking adderall thing yeah oh yeah or the other on downers like xanax dude yeah one or the other but adderall might as well be meth i mean it's it's some it's cocaine it's it's amphetamine yeah it's an amphetamine it's fucking straight up amphetamine you know and some people it helps some people it works for them but other people they just chew it all day long and talk crazy talk crazy foaming at the mouth crazy i mean everyone's against them coke is the most annoying drug i mean yeah it's the worst yeah just as on an annoyance level because the big people are just

talking about nothing the whole time you know we just want to talk to you. They want to talk right in your face. They're super pumped up, like Hitler. Imagine they injected Hitler with two doses of oxycodone and cocaine. And he had, hit me again. The doctor's like, we can't do the fuel. We can't hit you again. Hit me again. They hit him again. He goes directly to Mussolini's house.

Like, oh my God. He's so annoying. Coke-fueled, five-hour rant and rant. Poor Mussolini. I just want to make a pizza. I want to hang out. I want to go to Capri. I want to go fishing

with my grandson. Yeah, Hitler's just like, no, the Jew! And just losing his mind. Oh my God. Imagine that this whole thing was fueled by meth. Like, that was responsible for the whole fucking chaos of it all

yeah meth fueled because if you stop and think about history there's obviously been some horrific you know campaigns well whether it's alexander the great gangas khan or what are they on you know i mean what are they taking right that's what i was gonna say like if these guys in the nazi party were all on meth which makes total sense they were so psychotic yeah dude what were the fucking mongols on were they just drunk yeah was that yeah because it was like were they was that the opium din time that wasn't dens i know oh yeah they definitely must have had opium dims, right? They must have had that. Is that their era? I mean, opium. The Genghis Khan?

Opium's been around forever. Right. Everybody had opium. But it's what it was. But also, that mellows you out, though. Right. That should make you a killer. Well, the Vikings were into mushrooms, which is weird.

Really? Yeah. Like psychedelic mushrooms? Mm-hmm. Psilocybin. Yeah, they were into psilocybin. Okay. They would take psilocybin. They would fucking go on psilocybin. Okay. They would take psilocybin.

They would fucking go on crusades and start smashing heads. Well, that's probably, well, they're also, you know, they're groomed to be like that. So I think, yeah, psilocybin is going to take you where you want to go. Yeah, because it's also their world. Their world is like cutting and slashing and attacking. They're not, the idea of that not being there, that's not even an option. Exactly, yeah. I mean, you talk about Valhalla. I mean, that's what they're thinking about. They're just like, we're just killing people that not being there, that's not even an option. Exactly, yeah. You talk about Valhalla,

that's what they're thinking about. They're just like, we're just killing people. It's heaven. We get to kill everybody. What a crazy reward for murder. Yeah. You go to a heaven

and you drink with Odin. Yeah. Gonna go to Valhalla and just hack people apart with swords. Just can't wait to see Odin. Thrust. Hack. Yeah.

And then you take that arrow in the neck. And then you get to go to Valhalla. Happy. Going to go to Valhalla. You ever watch that show Vikings? No. People tell me it's great though. Is it great?

Pretty fucking good, man. Yeah. Up until like season four or five, Mrs. Rogan to stop no i didn't shake it anymore there's a lot of fucking pretty extreme violence it gets she can't handle it it gets a little gnarly and there's not the combat sports guy there's not enough uh good people okay root for that's the vikings yeah everybody's kind of a piece of shit you're like why am i Watching these piece of shits Rape and murder each other The brothers would turn on Brothers

I mean it's dark Yeah Those are like The true Caucasians right Oh yeah Yeah Oh yeah They're the

Message Northern warriors The ones who escaped From the southern climates And figured out how to survive In the coldest fucking places In the world Oh yeah

And there's a There's like a Nature rule Not a rule Like a law In terms of like survive in the coldest fucking places in the world oh yeah and there's a there's like a nature rule not a rule like a law in terms of like the size of things that live where it's cold so like if you have a deer in mexico it might be 100 pounds but if you have a deer in saskatchewan it might be like 300 pounds because the same species there's something about real cold climate makes things grow bigger and stronger because that's oh that's like it's reacting to the environment right yes yeah it's something about body temperature as well that they in order to

maintain body temperature they need a lot of mass and so like polar bears are the biggest of the bears right they live in the coldest fucking place and those Caucasian Vikings are the biggest dudes yeah Iceland motherfuckers yeah Icelandic just giant dudes yeah that mountain from game of thrones he's an icelandic right yes yes that's what that is that's gnarly that's gnarly and he wanted to play basketball he wanted to play basketball is he an mma yet basketball no okay no i don't think he knows how to fight there was a video of him sparring with conor mcgregor and conor mcgregor's fucking him up what yeah that guy yeah and conor i mean conor's not uh he's not weighing in so he's probably weighing about 170 okay and game of thrones guys easy three

three easy i would imagine he's in the 320 340 range yeah and he's like a bodybuilder too so he's like chasing conor and conor's cracking him in the stomach. It's kind of a crazy video to watch. I want to see it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, pull it up. Because how tall is Conor? 5'9"?

This guy's, what, 6'7"? He's taller than 5'9", I think. Conor might be 5'9". Might be 5'10". I'm 5'8". I will disrespect you, Conor McGregor. Oh, he's a beast. Yeah, you get the heart of an eight-foot person.

He doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. I mean, the guy fought Floyd Mayweather with zero professional boxing fights. Yeah. Just stop and think about that. No, he's zero. He took zero. So here it is.

He's a legit savage. So here's Conor, who's probably about $1.70. Look at the size difference here. And they're like sparring. And Conor's moving around. And he's punched him in the stomach. And the guy's trying to grab him. He's tagging him.

He's trying to grab him. But Connor is not letting him grab. But he's not doing anything. He's controlling. The guy's trying to do. Oh, they're really sparring. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy's trying to grab him.

But he doesn't know what he's doing. And then he's like high-fiving. And Connor's like, no, no, no. We're going to keep going. We're going to keep going. So now he starts kicking him. He starts kicking him in the stomach. Look at that.

See? He just punched him in the stomach. And the big guy doesn't know what to do. He's trying to grab him. But Connor's like, come on, lad. We're going to keep going. He's a fucking monster. Yeah.

So Connor knows that this big motherfucker can't keep this up. He can't keep it up. He's not able to keep up this pace. So he's already hurting. I mean, he's already tired? I mean, come on. You're just going back and forth here. No, no, no.

First of all, he's not used to sparring. I mean, we just got to a minute. He's not used to sparring, right? Okay. So everything he's doing is like these big movements, and he's not breathing well. So he's all tense and tight. So right now, he went to take a deep breath.

See, all this is tension for him. He's very tense. So now he's got a hole in the leg, but he doesn't know what to do. You have it, though, yeah. Connor hand fights with him. All Connor has to do is keep him moving. Oh, you see, he punched Connor in the stomach. There we go.

And then Connor's like, oh, okay. Okay. And so Connor's going to keep going. Look at that. Now he's throwing kicks at him. And that guy hasn't even kicked him yet. The big guy can't kick him. Yeah. It'll be too awkward. And Connor will trip him and throw him to the ground's gonna kick him yeah can't put that little big leg yeah it'll be too awkward and connor connor trip him and throw him to the ground or something like that he doesn't know how

to kick but connor just gonna keep punching him in the stomach but eventually he just gets really really tired and he gives up but it's kind of crazy to watch because connor essentially made him fight see like he put he got on his. Just like that cop guy. That was the victim. Yeah, the victim with the cop. He got on his knees. And Conor didn't allow him either. Conor's kneeing him in the body. Look at this.

Bro, he's gangster. He's kneeing him and punched him in the body. Jeez. And those are real kicks. Those are real knee... Wow. Dude, that guy is so much bigger than him. Yeah.

He's a monster. So, yeah, he's not doing any mma training well that's i mean he could but he wasn't there i mean he just doesn't know what to do yeah but if he learned it what to do connor would never do that yeah that guy's a i mean he's a walking weapon like like in ghanu francis and ghanu who's probably one of the biggest heavyweights in the ufc connor would never do that with him yeah he's a train yeah he's a train fighter giant striker he'd fuck him up but never do that with him. Yeah, because he's a trained fighter. He's a giant striker. He'd fuck him up. But with that guy, that guy didn't know what he was doing.

No. The Mountain, though. He was a basketball player. He wanted to play basketball. And then he broke his ankle or leg or something. And it never healed properly. And then he just became a bodybuilder. And then they put him in Game of Thrones.

Well, he's the world's strongest man. Right, exactly. Yeah, he wins those world's strongest man things. He's not just like a participant. Sorry, yeah. He's the world Strongest man Right exactly Yeah he wins those World strongest man He's not just like A participant Sorry yeah He's the champ Right

He's crazy strong And his guy is like Magnus Vermagnusen Right like He's like his mentor Magnus Is that his mentor Yeah Magnus Vermagnusen

By the way What a great name Perfect name Magnus Vermagnusen I fucking love that cat Strong man Competitor Competitor

Magnus Magnus Vermagnusen Yeah there was Remember we Those shows used to be I fucking love that cat. Strong man, competitor. Magnum Kun Laude. Magnus for Magnuson. Yeah, there was, remember those shows used to be on like ABC, Y World of Sports and shit? It would be on TV. You'd be watching the Strongest Man competition. They would throw barrels over the fucking bars and stuff. I mean, they're carrying, you know, they're carrying trucks, 18-wheel semis. Yeah.

Yeah. Always ridiculous shit. Remember like the guys They would lift And they'd have like a A hemorrhage And it'd just fucking Go up through their nose Oh yeah

You'd see blood splurging Out their nose Doing deadlifts Yeah One of the guys Robert Oberst Was on my podcast recently He's one of those

Strongest man competitors They're so big They don't even look Like real people When you're around them You're like How are you so big They're so big, they don't even look like real people. And you're around them, you're like, how are you so big? They're so big.

These fucking gigantic humans. The human body is incredible. It is, man. There he is. He said this is the most he's ever lifted. What did he take in his nose? Smelling salt. Isn't that nuts?

They do smelling salts before they lift. Some dudes drink whiskey or something. Really? Yeah, I've heard that before. But why smelling salts? You know, I wouldn't drink the whiskey. I feel like that would make me too relaxed. I'd dudes drink whiskey or something. Really? I've heard that before. But why smelling salts? You know, I wouldn't drink the whiskey. I feel like that would make me

too relaxed. I'd probably shit myself or something. Look at the size of this fucking human. Yeah. That's what, he's 425?

One, two, three. Hurrah! He's on the plate. How much weight is this? I didn't say. Is it a ton? I just said it's the most he's ever done.

Bro, look at the bar bend. Ugh! God! Jesus Christ. Look at the the bar bend. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Look at the fucking bar bend. It says, uh, it doesn't really say there, no. Jesus. Good enough.

We get it. But the smelling salts are so strange. Yeah, right. But NFL players do that, too, on the sidelines. Imagine if you did that right before you went on stage. I might. Smelling salts. I might. Maybe that's the move. Right? Maybe we're missing out. I think for your next show, you've got to do that too on the sidelines. Imagine if you did that right before you went on stage. I might. Just took smelling salts. I might.

Maybe that's the move. Right? Maybe we're missing out. I think for your next show you've got to do that shit. Just fucking pound it real quick. What if I go Hitler to Mussolini? Just cut that off. I just go up there and just rant for five hours.

Everybody's like, shut him up. Did you see Rogan's seven hour set? Oh my God. He took smelling salts. All brilliant. His nose was bleeding. What's it smell like? Took the best angles.

Have you ever smelled it? No, I don't know what it smells like. I've never smelled it. I was going to ask how to compare it to a stink bomb or something like that. It's just like real strong. It's just like the scent is strong. Oh, my God. And it just freaks me out.

And it pops your brain like right away. Yeah. And then you're like fucking left. Damn. Yeah, you become Dane Cook on stage You'd be like so physical No one's that physical Yeah

No one's smelling salts physical No one's smelling salts physical Yeah We should make Jeremiah Watkins do it Oh my god Cause he would Get Watkins on smelling salts Yeah

He would be the first guy to be Have like What kind of physical comedy does he have Oh like smelling salts physical Yeah exactly Yeah yeah yeah The most physical level Not cocaine Yeah Not kinnison shit You're talking about smelling salts physical yeah exactly yeah the most physical level not

cocaine yeah that kennis and shit you're talking about smelling salt well who's like it'd be like dane cook is one of the most physical like jim carrey was very physical right robin williams yeah but jim carrey would like fall down and fucking do pratfalls and right he's an acrobat yeah he can move weird too he had like a real flexibility to the way he moved. Remember in like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective? I mean, that was on display, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, that was part of his whole thing was how wacky he moved. Mm-hmm. You know? Man with a thousand faces, right. But then you'd have smelling salts, physical, next level shit. Yeah.

Just like those kids in the day, they couldn't do the BMX flip three times. Now they can, right. Now they can. Yeah. That's the same thing with three times. Now they can. Now they can. Yeah. That's the same thing with smelling solids. I got to see this. I got to fucking try this, actually.

It's just ammonia. Is it? Yeah, it releases ammonia when you break the thing or open the cap or whatever you're doing. Okay. That's nothing. That ain't shit. That's Windex. They used to make it from deer antlers and hooves.

What? Oh. Yeah, there's this shit called spirit of heart shorn folks this has been the most educational experience ever of this podcast i would say with both real and false information we don't know we can decide which is both we we we gave you nonsense and we gave you truth and we hope you enjoy it brian moses tell these people where they can find you yeah you can find me at race banning on twitter fox compton on instagram or just see me at the rose battle every tuesday night at the comedy store every tuesday night what time does it start at 11 o'clock 11 o'clock 11 p.m one of the rare scheduled 11 p.m shows

anywhere how about that regularly scheduled show at 11pm. Pretty fucking rare. That's dope, dude. You came one time. It was past your bedtime, but you still did it. I did. I took my Mylanta. That's it, ladies and gentlemen. Brian Moses. Goodbye. Thank you.