The Joe Rogan Experience - #1333 - Tom Papa

Episode Date: August 12, 2019

Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. Check out his new show with Fortune Feimster called "What A Joke."

you definitely shouldn't make those noises to start off a podcast tom papa that what are you doing you're freaking people out do you know what is it called asmr do you know what that is yeah like when you like people like certain sounds yeah they find them soothing i don't think that's one of them this is what i use to drive my kids crazy i say it's mac and it's a spoon in mac and cheese yeah they're like oh my my god, I thought my dad was funny professionally. This is ridiculous. They probably think they're going to starve to death. This is crazy.

My younger one, who's like comedian funny, this is her thing. So she doesn't care about parents or what we're doing. She's just out for herself. Whenever I make a joke around the house she that i think is funny she just goes huh jokes how old is she 14 that's hilarious do you think she'd be

comic yeah she yeah she could be wow she definitely could be you have a healthy household it is healthy that doesn't seem like a good recipe for comedy uh right yeah well you know it takes all kinds it does take all kinds you know have you met anybody that came from a good childhood that's really funny me you yeah really i'm pretty funny you're very funny but you came from no problems at all i think every kid Did you move around a lot? I moved once, one town over, and it traumatized me. In third grade. Third grade? Yeah.

I still can't. I'm still not over it. But I think that everybody has... I think as a child, even if it's not real heavy stuff, it feels heavy to you. You know what I mean? My father was super strict and spanked us and stuff. I was this nervous. You know what I mean? Like, my father was super strict and, like, you know, spanked us and stuff. And I was, like, this nervous. You know what I mean?

And so I think you can grow up pretty normal and be pretty funny, you know? It's like there's a line with kids. It's like you don't want to be mad at them, but you can't let them get away with too much. Yeah. So you have to go, hey, hey, seriously, stop screaming at me. Stop this. Yeah. Like, you can't do this like because every now and then they'll they'll test totally because they fight amongst each other like i've daughters that are two years apart they'll fight amongst each other that's what every now and then they'll turn it on you and you're like hey hey yeah hey i didn't touch your

toys i'm not wearing your pants yeah i'm the good guy. No, it is a weird thing, especially when you know how you were as a kid. Oh, yeah. And, you know, we've got daughters, and they're probably similar where they're not as nutso as we were when we were little. But you still have to bring the hammer down, even though you think it's kind of funny or you think it's not that big a deal. Right, right. You have to lay down the law even if you don't feel it you have to enforce some guidelines and then you have to communicate about why those guidelines exist what i didn't get enough of i think when i was a kid is communication about

why those guidelines exist because in the moment the kid's not going to internalize it they're going to be mad i wanted to do this and I wanted to do that and they just have it in their head. I want to play one more game. Why can't I just play one more game? They'll just get freaked out. Because what we heard

was because I said so. Yes, exactly. There was no reason. There was nothing behind it. Just go to bed. Why? It's 7 o'clock because I said so.

All right. Yeah, well, we don't put parameters on play, though, like as much. We put parameters on you can only have a certain amount of television time certain amount of video game time but but as far as like play play like doing stuff like playing in the pool or doing others like i don't feel like there's

any you could play in the pool all day all day yeah i'm happy for it isn't that it's interesting right oh yeah no completely yeah because it's and it's probably they're learning more from that than anything else that they would be doing. Right, but it's purely play. Right. But all play is not considered equal. Like, play when you're sedentary in front of a video screen and you're playing some silly video game. Right. And you're just sitting there and you're just your brain.

To be physical, to be out, to be doing something. But they do have this one game that I'll let them play for a long time. It's this crazy dance game. Oh, yeah. Dance Revolution? I don't know what it's called, but they dance. And you mimic the thing? They dance to What's Her Face?

Crazy. What's Crazy's Face? Oops, I did it again. Britney Spears. They dance to You Better Work, Bitch. You want a Maserati? You better work. You better work, bitch.

And they're dancing. It's hilarious. But that's exercise. Have you done it with them? Yes. Yeah, it's hilarious but that's exercise like have you done it with them yes yeah it's fun you have to i've only done it honestly a couple times they probably played it a million times but um you have to coordinate your movements to mirror the person on the screen right but my instincts are to like to not mirror but to to do what he's doing if his right arm's going up my right going up right because like that's how you get taught in martial arts. So I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be doing that

or if I'm supposed to be just mirroring him. Like when he lifts up his right arm, am I supposed to lift up my left arm? Because that's the one that faces me? Is that how you're supposed to do it? No, you do whatever you see. Yeah, but then you have to switch it over in your head. Why don't you just, that arm?

Okay, I'll go with you. I'll do this arm. It seems like you should have that option. Well, you shouldn't be high when you do this with your head. Why don't you just... That arm? Okay, I'll go with you. I'll do this arm. It seems like... Well, you shouldn't be high when you do this with your children. You should be... That's the only way I'm going to do it. It seems like, though, that it would be easier for all involved if you just had the mirror it, not do the same exact side of their body as your body.

I don't know. I've never gotten that deep because I've done it and then quickly became exhausted and just pretended I thought it was stupid so I could lay down. Well, it's critical in martial arts that you, like, if you're learning something, if you prefer, like, especially kickboxing, for most fighters,

most fighters have one good side and one side that they're not so good at. And, like, the really great fighters like one of the best in the world today is terence crawford and one of the things about him is he can fight equally well from southpaw or from orthodox oh really yeah so will he switch his stance oh yeah he'll do whatever he wants wow he just fucks people up he does whatever he wants i mean he fights really top shelf competition too and And he's just, he's so technical and so, so clever at figuring people out. But I think he has a giant advantage and that he literally has as good a southpaw as he

is an orthodox. Like he can box the best boxers in the world orthodox. Right. And then they just switch up southpaw on them. And there's, you know, he might be like a little better as a southpaw, but God damn, it's so clever. It might also be that he's fucking their head up because they fought him one way and then he switches stances and starts fucking them up the other way is he born that way no no it's a learned thing my point would be

if you had a southpaw instructor and he was teaching you and you were mirroring him it would be weird right right right you know right if someone's teaching you something you want to see how their body's doing it and mimic their movements. Right. You want to see it and mimic their movements. Right. You don't want to mirror it. It would be too confusing.

Yeah. Which is interesting because it seems like the mirroring would work better if it was the stupid video game. You know, because, like, lift your arm. I'll do what you do. Lift the leg. I'll do what you do. But if it's kickboxing or I think any martial arts style. Yeah.

No, it's messed you up. You can't be a good dance revolutionary. Someone's got to walk you through it too. Dance, dance revolutionary. I'm probably doing everything wrong. I'm probably risking all these joints. Like there's certain, you know who could dance, like really dance? Fahim.

Fahim? Do you know Fahim Anwar? No. You don't know him from the store? He's coming on, is he on tomorrow? He's on tomorrow. He's hilarious. Oh, yeah?

Really funny guy. But his Instagram is filled with him dancing. Oh, really? Yeah. But he dances really good. Yeah. And I was watching this, and I got a little self-conscious watching this. I was like, I don't think I could do any of this.

And if I had to do this, like, watch. Watch him dance. I was like, if I had to do this, like, watch. Watch him dance. I was like, if I had to do this, I would be so self-conscious that I was doing this. Like, look, he's really good. Yeah. I made a New Year's resolution this year that I was going to dance more. And I haven't done it. Because of the same thing.

I always feel like someone, Carol Leifer once said to me, you look like a guy who's never danced in his life. I was like, well, what do you mean? I've got some flow. Carol Leifer, she's fucking hilarious. Yeah, she's so funny. Is he in Venice? Amsterdam? But that first thing I just showed you,

Fortnite took a video from his that was six years old on his YouTube channel and just put it in the game this past week. Whoa. And are charging people money for it. Wow. And he's not making any money? Most likely. No, this has happened over and over to people money for it wow anybody he can move making any money most likely no this has happened over and over to people with their dances dude look how good he dances great that's really funny too i can't really funny guy well he's super cool guy

too he's filled with joy obviously you're not you're not like an asshole if you dance like that good point right that's a happy that's a happy fella that's a happy fella he's a super nice guy super smart guy oh cool he had some sort of a technical job didn't he wasn't he like on we'll figure it out i don't know someone someone told me he had some very uh intellectually strenuous job and then uh decided to bail on that to be a comedian which makes sense that's interesting i hope that's a true story. Yeah. You never know with people, man.

I know. You know? I know. I think that we probably could take a dance class together. Dude, I don't want to learn how to dance like that. I'm worried about my meniscus. My wife can really move. I have a meniscus issue.

Oh, yeah? What's that? A tore or something in my meniscus. What's the meniscus? In your knee? It's the padding in between your knee, in between your issue. Oh, yeah? What's that? A tore or something in my meniscus. What's the meniscus? In your knee? It's the padding in between your knee, in between your bones. You tore it? Yeah.

Not that bad. Like, it's a little tear. And I've been trying to deal with it without surgery, with stem cells. Oh, boy. But the problem is I like kicking things. You're really good at kicking. One of my favorite things is kicking things. I know.

So it's hard for me to not kick things for a long time. And when I don't kick things, I just don't feel as good. We all have our things. Some people dance. Some people kick things. I feel good when I hit that fucking bat. I like to smoke weed. I smoke like two or three hits.

I get to a state of mind where I just feel my tendons. I feel my muscles and my bones. And then I just like to fucking zone out. I'll put on some Led Zeppelin or something like that. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba. Ah! And I'll just start going off on the bang, ba-da-ba-da. And it becomes like you feel like you're just riding like a wave of movement.

Right. You're not even thinking about it. You're not thinking about anything other than making sure that you don't do anything stupid in terms of like launching a strike when the bag's in the wrong place where you could jam yourself or hurt yourself. So it's like you're just flowing around the bag. And it's just like you don't even have to really hit it your hardest. Yeah. It's more like you're in a dance.

And you're expressing yourself with the movements. But is there an age where that becomes like I'm going to start tearing stuff a lot? Well, I just turned 52. I think it's about 51. Yeah. It might be time to concentrate on yoga. I love the yoga, too. Yoga's good, but it probably doesn't give you the same rush.

It's a different rush. They're both great rushes, though. Yoga's a great rush. Yoga's good, but it probably doesn't give you the same rush. It's a different rush. They're both great rushes though. Yoga's a great rush. Yoga's great. The thing about the hitting things though, that it leaves nothing, no violence in you. I don't know if that's real or if that's just I've been doing it so long that it's just a normal part of my life. When I don't do it, I'm like a baby and I want no aggression juice left to my body. I want to pound it all out. Yeah. Nothing pounds it all out like a baby and i want i want i want no no aggression juice left to my body i want to pound it all out yeah nothing pounds it all out like hitting the bag right you know if

you just straightens your brain out yeah it's more of a mellow thing it's but it straightens you out more without like indulging you you know what i'm saying like if you were um it's it's like food right if you're it's like if you were addicted to something, if you were doing it so often that you just needed to gorge and that's all you did, but you just kept getting fat because of that, you'd have to stop. And you would realize you'd have this urge to gorge.

So I always wonder, like when I want to do it, is that like my urge to gorge right so i always wonder like when i want to do it is that like my urge to gorge like do i just want to go fucking crazy and be self-indulgent is that what it is or is it is is it that i'm really recognizing that there's a need that people have to have some explosive movements and that if you get rid of that need whether for me it's running up hills is a big one it's one of the reasons why i like it it's challenging and it leaves me completely spent and i feel like i'm a nicer person i feel like i feel nicer i feel i want to be nicer to people so that's not an aggressive hitting thing though but it's it's explosive it's just because you're going up this fucking hill yeah you know

it's um they're they're heavy hills out here would you feel the same way getting off of a treadmill or or like when you do the elliptical yeah that's great i mean that feels great right but um there's something about an actual physical hill that's outside in nature you feel like what if something was chasing me could i get away how long could i do this for what if i have to catch somebody how could i get them yeah like what if you know what if you know horrible things happen if i don't reach the top of this hill yeah when i always loved running through the woods. Ooh, scary.

But it's exciting. There's something primal about it. There's something more at play than just I'm just running down the street. Yeah. But I think that – I have to write something down or I'm going to forget it. I think – I have this thing about the woods that i keep forgetting to do i think that uh it's what you're describing and like having the kick is

i equate it to stand up it's like i'm no longer the same person when i'm not doing stand-up for several days right that and i think it's because i learned it i i created this addiction i created this thing that i no longer am the same person without it. You became a junkie. Yeah. Yeah. We're all for sure laugh junkies. I think we are so lucky that regular people don't know what it feels like to get a big laugh.

Yeah. Or they would do it. There would be no one that would do any other job. I know. They'd be like, fuck these other jobs. I want to kill. I think about that every time I walk throughgas and you see all these people like drinking and at the tables and they're trying to get a rush they're trying to get something something and you walk around with this secret

in your mind that like i'm getting something so much more potent than you're going to get out here just from being on stage joey diaz did this bit the other night in the in the original room and it was so hilarious and it was really fresh, and you could tell because it was making him laugh. And he was laughing. You know Joey's got that ha-ha-ha-ha. He's fucking dying laughing, and I'm in the back of the room. I'm like, you can't get any happier than that.

That's as happy as a person can get. In those bursts of moments, other than the love of your children, that is as happy as you can ever get. a new line and it's working is the love family love yeah people you care about that's the only thing that eclipses it yeah no you're right but everybody can get that everybody get the family love so everybody can get the best kind of love yes but it all takes work but i think that uh i think when you have i mean it could be so small too it could be like one line that you added to an old joke that works oh your whole night is different yep your whole drive home is like yes yeah where if you don't try something and you just kind of go

through it it's not as satisfying so you constantly have to keep pushing because you need that more potent brush but the other side of it is if i have a set and everything's amazing except one new line that i tried that ate shit that one new line will haunt me for days why did i say it that way yeah yeah idiot i know you're managing this weird thing you know like your act is this weird thing that you you're producing and managing it yeah oh constantly constantly constantly in your head constantly tweaking constantly trying to express trying to trying to have something that you think oh this is it's almost like the cockier you are it's so rare when you feel like this is going to be a great one.

And you bring it up and it works. You know what I mean? It never matches expectations. But if you think, maybe this will work. Those I love because they surprise you. It's like, this is funnier than even I thought. Yes, those are interesting, right? The setup is actually the funniest part of the joke. People are dying laughing at something in the setup. and you're like, oh, yeah, okay.

I see. Oh, my God, why didn't I see that? Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, that's funnier. That's the funnier part of it. Yeah. But that's one of the weird things about having to do it in front of people. Like, you have to do it in front of people.

There's no other way. You can't, like, really practice stand-up in a vacuum. No, I know. That's so cool. Back to the premise thing. Chris Rock said that to me once. He said, that's um so cool back to the premise thing chris rock said that to me once he said that's what that's the greatest secret in comedy he goes it's the it's the setup that's the real joke he said the the punch line you know that's kind of icing yeah but you really

you're you're nailing the joke in the setup yeah and if you fuck up a setup oh even if the rest of the joke is good you always remember that fucked up part of the setup. Yeah, why do you say it like that? Why do you say that? It's such a weird little dance you play with your head. You're trying to put it all in line and get all the bits together correctly. How big was that crowd you saw on Instagram this weekend? That was in Portland, Oregon.

It was big. It looked huge. Yeah, it has like 10 000 people now what is that what is that doing to your act in your performance you uh have to slow down a little bit because it's so loud like you have to give them more a little bit more time because uh i went to see lewis black once i didn't i didn't even realize this and i had actually done theaters already, and I was even doing the very theater that he was in. And Joey Diaz and I were sitting in the back of this big theater that Louis Black was playing in, and we watched him.

And he would hit a punchline, and all these people around us would be laughing really loud. And then he'd hit the tag, and I couldn't hear the tag because there were so many people laughing at the punchline i was like oh right really like cemented in my head i was like oh this is a whole different feeling for the audience member than a club right one of the crazy things about like if you like the original room right or some a small room like that when you when you hit a punchline when everybody's laughing you can hit a tag and they're going to hear it perfectly clearly.

Yeah. Because there's not enough people's laughter to overwhelm the sound of the speakers. Yeah, view on the microphone. But when there's 10,000 fucking people. Yeah. You've got to give that one a little bit of air. Let it come back. Yeah, you've got to give those bits a little more air.

Right. But you adjust quickly. But do you feel, are you happy doing it? like do you feel like it's as because I the only thing close is when I worked with Seinfeld

and we did one of the Fox theaters and that was a little over 5,000 yeah is that the Detroit Fox theater? that started it was no it was Atlanta oh okay

and that started to feel a little out of my control how many Fox theaters are there by the way there's like a million of them there's fox in la fox st louis but is it the same company yeah it was the same company oh wow i thought it was just a bunch of people naming their their theater the fox no no no no it was like 20th century fox it was like if you decide i'm the salmon theater do you own the salmon theater? Yeah. What? How can you own salmon?

You can own salmon. Right? No. Fuck off. Come on. If you have a band, you call your band salmon. You can't name your band after shit that everybody knows the words to or knows what it is. Right. A part of nature.

It just seems weird. It's got to be like salmon work boot. You can't name, could you name your, like if you named your beef, like if you had a band, you named it Beef. You don't own beef. Beef. You can't say that. You could trademark Beef. You could, Beef for the name of a band?

It's just such a common name. It's like you can't own it with anything else. But you know what? Does that make sense? Yeah, but I looked up yesterday. I was online. I was online. I was writing. And I looked up fun.

Just the word fun. Somebody owns that? And there's a band, Fun. And everything that came up was Fun, the band. Fuck off. You can't have that name. War. War?

Yeah, but that was a long time ago. That was when they were first making bands. Good God! What it is we do for absolutely nothing. Say it again! Dude. You know, we were at that

Shoreline Amphitheater and they have all these posters on the wall of different shows and one of them was, it was Jimi Hendrix and fuck, what was the other band?

Never heard of it. Some other insane band. Oh, Jimi Hendrix, fuck, what was the other band? Never heard of it. Some other insane band. Oh, Jimi Hendrix. Fuck, was it the Byrds? It was the Byrds and another band. But it was so crazy. Like looking at this thing, like wow. Like this was a real show that you could have caught back then.

Yeah. You could have walked into this theater. And seen Hendrix. And you could have watched Hendrix. It's crazy. That it was right there. I'm like wow. And that night, he was there. So they were all in front laughing and joking around. Oh really was right there. I'm like, wow. And that night he was there.

So they were all in front, like laughing and joking around. Oh really? And someone snapped this picture. Jeez Louise. Sometimes a photo and you go, oh yeah, that's a photo from 1973.

Yeah. No big deal. And sometimes one hits you and you go, whoa. Yeah. That's Ronnie Van Zandt. Right, exactly.

I go, what would it have been like to be around that guy? Yeah, that's Miles Davis talking to Mick Jagger. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Like someone was there with a fucking talking to Mick Jagger. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Like someone was there with a fucking camera when that went down. I know.

It's crazy. So I think that, so when I, back to the Fox thing. How big was it? 5,000? It was like a little over 5,000. And that started to seem like something different. Yeah. From like, even like 4,000 seemed like you're still in that club kind of you know

theater back and forth at five it started to feel like oh this is this is bigger than i can control right do you feel like you can control it in 10 000 have a good time yeah but do you feel like you know what i mean like we did 25 000 in tac Tacoma. Did you really? Dave and I did, yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's a lot of people. It feels insane. It has to feel insane.

Oh, my God. It's a fucking roar of humans. But it's fun. It's like everybody was there to have a good time. Everybody's there for the same reason. And people keep it together remarkably well. If you really stop and think about live events, like how well people in like we don't get enough credit i know every nutty person who does something crazy yeah there's so many

people that can keep it together i know it's it's really unfortunate we view people the way we do sometimes because we concentrate on every single bad thing that happens in the news and yeah there's a lot of bad things that happen in the news but at scale if you just have the scale of people i think we're looking at it completely skewed i think most people are really fine most people are cool they are nice but that's why terrorism works right because it's so spectacular that it scares the daylights out of everybody but i think the same thing it's like, so this horrible thing happened on this night. But think about how many people were out that night. Think about how many people were filling amphitheaters and arenas

and small shops and small clubs. I mean, just in America. Millions. And everybody's cool. Everyone's getting along. Everybody's doing the right thing. You're right. There is definitely a lot of cool people, but it's the spectacular.

It's like a plane crash, right? There hasn't been a major plane crash in the U.S. in a long time. But when it happens, it's so mind-blowing because something fell from the sky. It's a big deal. Yeah, it's a bigger deal than a train a train crash that kills the same amount of people doesn't shock us as much no it's on the ground you know what i mean it's like that thing fell from the sky what happened we've all fantasized about how horrible that would be it has a big impact yeah it has a real big impact

no but that's amazing i mean to be with 25 000 strange like-minded people just out that just coming to laugh they wanted to have a good time that's amazing that's the cool thing about even when you you're at the improv you know or the comedy store yeah you know there's a group of people that comes to have a good time yeah there's always you know occasionally someone who's drunk and doesn't get it and they want to yell out and ruin things but most of the clubs in town now are good at getting rid of those people yeah no they're really good at it but the vast majority of people are cool yeah vast majority yeah no it's great but it's when someone isn't cool it's so disturbing so obvious that we start we think about people in that regard yeah you know we think about people like as uh no yeah the worst possible scenario like um did you

see once upon a time in hollywood i did so those flower kids right yeah the murderous flower the manson kids those that's like worst case scenario yeah sometimes we think about people just on you know just because that's a possibility it's such a glaring one but it gets a disproportionate amount of energy and interest because for the most part, most people are super fine. Most people are great. Most people are friendly. Most people just want to have a good time in this life.

They're not assholes. Right, exactly. And even the Manson kids, there's probably a couple of them that were fun. I bet there was. The girl who took off, the girl who was like, hey, I'll be right back.

Oh, yeah. That girl in real life did take off. No, who is it? In real life? Who? Did you watch Stranger Things? Yes. She's Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman's daughter.

What? Yes. Wow. Yes. She was the one in the, the two worked in the ice cream shop. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. Okay. That's her.

I thought you were going to say the actual Manson kid that did take off. Oh, I thought you meant the one in real life. Oh, in real life? Yeah, you confused the shit out of everybody. I'm so sorry. Did you see that story going around? When we were talking about it the other day, that story with Bruce Lee that was loosely based in reality yeah had to do with uh gene labelle oh jesus he was a stuntman on like the green hornet or something okay well let me let me tell

you he said it didn't it wasn't real though let me tell you this thing because talking from gene gene was always i've i've known gene for years he's always super respectful about bruce lee but he's also he's okay let me put it this way if that actually did happen that way if bruce lee fought gene labelle gene labelle would grab a hold of him and obliterate his brain on the concrete 100 out of 100 times oh really let me just say that for so i'm not talking about the movie and like there was a thing in the movie where i felt like they made bruce lee seem like a buffoon and i'm like oh i don't think he was ever really like that. This is kind of an important historical figure for martial arts.

And I get it's just a crazy Quentin Tarantino movie. And I get it. The end of the movie did not. I mean, spoiler alert. I don't want to say what happened. But he takes liberties for entertainment's sake with a lot of different things. But with that one, I was like, ooh, I'm just going to have some random dude that is a stuntman and Bruce Lee's a buffoon to him and he kicks his ass on the set.

But with that said, if that was a real life event with Gene LaBelle and Bruce Lee, Gene LaBelle would crush him. So Gene LaBelle could have- He's a gorilla. That would have been him in that scene. Oh, yeah. But it would have been quick. Right.

It would have been a different thing, man. He's a gorilla. Right. scene oh yeah but it would have been quick right it would have been a different thing man he's a gorilla right i mean he's a like a judo champion with a severe arsenal of neck cranks and joint locks and he is strong like a fucking bear i mean dude in his prime he was a tank of a man really far bigger than bruce lee oh wait and bruce lee was small right he was a small guy look bruce lee was an innovator in martial arts and one of my personal heroes yeah he's like the most important early innovator because he was the first guy to think that you should combine the best elements of all these different styles when i was coming up man i was doing taekwondo and you were brainwashed to think that Taekwondo was the best martial art.

Everything else was bullshit, and you shouldn't even practice it. So if I was practicing other stuff, like I was doing some boxing, I'd get some frowns from some people. It was like a thing. And if you were in some schools that were less open-minded than mine, my school was a little more practical than some of them. But some of them, they would say, Kung Fu or death. all they wanted to do is fucking kung fu they're doing this shit in the park and you couldn't say hey man a wrestler is going to grab a hold of you and he's going to just pound you into a fucking tree and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it there's gene there's gene labelle who was he was uh in a bunch of different movies as a stuntman

oh yeah that looks like green hornet yeah That's him. Yeah, they became friends. They were very good friends. And he had nothing but good things to say about Bruce Lee. But he said he taught Bruce Lee a lot. Like some of the moves that Bruce Lee used in Armbar in one of the early scenes in Game of Death. That was from Gene LaBelle. Gene LaBelle, I guarantee you, helped him here. But look at this.

If Gene LaBelle really wanted to grab a hold of Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee would be unconscious, as would I, as would many, many, many other trained martial artists. Not Jamie. Bruce Lee was a – I mean, Bruce Lee was a fantastic martial artist. And like I said, one of the most innovative guys ever. We don't even realize how much his style had a gigantic effect on making untold millions of

people sign up for martial arts classes including me right and part of it was because he was a movie star right he had the looks and the and the charisma yes that allowed him to bring it onto film and show everybody he had everything he had philosophy he had a deep understanding of all these different martial arts and he had the courage to try to combine them, which was unheard of at the time. It got him exercised from a lot of these Kung Fu circles. Where did he learn it? He learned it from a bunch of different places. I mean, he learned it from books.

He learned it in China. He learned different things from different people. I know he worked with a lot of different martial artists, including Gene LaBelle, who, of course, was Gene LaBelle's judo credentials. I guarantee he was a national champion. I think he was a world champion. But he was... Whatever he was, he's a fucking gorilla. I feel like Kung Fu was more popular earlier.

Well, the UFC changed all that shit. Yeah. Nice, Dan. What is his... Traditional judo. But what is his competition accomplishments? Blue belt? No.

Yellow belt? He's... his uh competition uh accomplishments blue belt no yellow belt he's but if that that makes sense that they kind of based it on him because he really was a legendary stuntman as well wouldn't that be cool though if tarantino had the inside scoop on that story maybe yeah but bruce lee and him were friends i guarantee you like that didn't go down like that. They didn't have a fight. Right, right, right. And if they did have a fight, Jesus Christ. I'm telling you, it would have been horrific. Yeah.

That guy's a fucking gorilla. Judo people are different, man. They have a different, their core. Judo? Yeah, their core is so goddamn strong. There's only a few judo guys that I ever rolled with that like of consequence like carol parisian was one of them i think when i was a blue belt i rolled with him and he was like rolling with a chimpanzee it just threw me around jesus christ it's so disheartening when you grapple with like a like a really good wrestler or a really good judo person

they just have this insane ability to manipulate bodies it's crazy okay it says he won the national heavyweight judo championship and the u.s uh usa overall judo championship title so he won the national heavyweight title and he went on to win both the heavyweight and overall champion in 1955 as well so that's that's a a national amateur athletics uh union i think that's a i think that's that stands for so that's that's a big-time judo title, especially for back then. In 1954, there probably wasn't that many judo championships. It was probably a fairly recent thing. Where's judo come from?

Japan. Japan? Yeah, Japan. Jiu-jitsu does too. Even Brazilian jiu-jitsu really came from Japan because Count Maeda, who this uh traveling judo master um he taught people in brazil he taught the gracies so the gracie family in brazil they took that jujitsu and they refined it and made made it much more much more emphasis on submissions because of carlos gracie and ilio gracie and carlson gracie and like the early masters right really amazing amazing story of

one really one family that kind of revolutionized the way people fight on the ground and they just all focused on right I remember yeah they just were they just were badasses yeah they would just fight each other all the time they were trying to figure out what works best and they they just got it down to a fucking science here's the story about from Gene LaBelle about make us a little bigger so I can read them because uh LaBelle said that when he got on the set dobbins will put lee in a headlock or something so as labelle went up and grabbed lee he started making all those noises that he became famous for labelle said but he didn't try to counter me so i think he was more surprised than anything else

so he probably just grabbed him got him in a headlock right then labelle lifted lee onto his back what's called a fireman's carry and ran around the set with him said put me down or i'll kill you lee screamed he said i can't put you down or you'll kill me labelle said holding lee there as long as he dared before putting him down saying hey bruce don't kill me just kidding champ back on his feet again lee didn't kill the bell instead lee recognized his lack of grappling was a deficiency in jikundo style of martial arts that he was developing see so there wasn't really a fight but this is what i'm telling you labelle was so fucking powerful and such an amazing judo guy that if it was a fight it would have been right really quick right so if that's who he was supposed to be portraying in the movie like if

that's yeah they showed that the brad pitt character was some judo champion that became a martial artist later, okay, maybe. This guy was like a roofer. Yeah, well, he was a beast. That was a fun part of the movie. It was great. I fucking liked that movie, man. I love that movie. And it's like split camps on it.

Just in my circle of friends that I run into, whatever. People either loved it and feel like they could have hung with it for two more hours or people were like what's the point what was the story i don't get it those i don't get it guys keep a real close eye on them yeah treat them like the jeffrey epstein you're trying to keep them alive it's those people i don't understand their thinking i don't either it was so great oh my god wild ass movie like were you not entertained like there was a lot of times in that movie i was like fuck yeah great movie i could have just hung with it forever and especially being out here in la it was just like that cool musso and franks yes they didn't even have to do anything to make it look different i know that place looks

like it's from 1969 aren't we supposed to go go? Yeah, we're supposed to go. Yeah. You and me and Joey, we've been talking about it forever. We got to do it. Well, I'm in town this week. There's a UFC in Anaheim this weekend. Oh, really? So I'm in L.A. I know.

I'm in L.A. all week. I'm in L.A. too. Crazy. This is the first two weekends in a row that I've been home, I think, in a year and a half. Pull up Tom Papa's Instagram and take a look at that sweet elk meat. Did you put it up on your Instagram? No, I didn't. You didn't?

Here, I'll send it to youie all right you send it to jamie uh oh my god that was so good dude that shit's ridiculous that's why i'm here today because i run out of elk you cooked it so well hold on i'm into food porn obviously yeah i was gonna bring you bread of course but here's an annoying thing about Apple. This was a surprise. If you want to take a photograph from a text message, you can't search that person's name. Because otherwise you can't get the photo. You know what I'm saying? Like if I search your name, I have to actually send you a text. Unless I'm doing something totally wrong.

Swipe down when you open up the messages app. Swipe down. Yeah. Look at that sweet, sweet app. Swipe down? Yeah. Look at that sweet, sweet bread. That does look sweet. But it was just, I couldn't give it to you. It was just a little too stale. And I'm like, I don't want to.

Yeah, next time. You had stale bread? How many days does an actual real bread go before it's stale? About four days. Wow, that's so crazy. So I make two at a time, so it depends how much the ladies are eating. Wow. Yeah.

Jamie, I just sent you... I just sent it to you again. A photo of the meat. This was so good. I just can't believe you cooked that perfectly on a grill. That's amazing, man. Gas grill on high, and I flipped it four times what um cut was that was that a roast that was the tri-tip oh wow that looks good oh so good god damn that looks good

i know dude you're a really good cook thank you you nailed that yeah tri-tip's a tricky one because there's not a lot of fat in a tri-tip no it's not you know you know there was there was i i remarked at that that there weren't a lot of flames coming up. It wasn't like dripping fat into the thing. It's a different cut. But I just did it by feel and it was like, you know, you don't want it to be too, you know, stiff. And then he just pulled it

off and it was so nice. I still have it waiting for me in the fridge. That's A plus right there. Well, that's good stuff. So did you got another one you sent does that mean you hunted again or does that i got a deer you got a deer yeah i got a deer lanai i'm gonna give you some axis deer too oh really oh yeah oh boy oh boy what's that is that what's the taste difference um it's uh it's it's different it's definitely different they're but it's really

delicious yeah they're one of the fastest deer species on earth. They're crazy fast. How big are they? About 130, 150 pounds at most. Like Jamie's size. No, Jamie's bigger than that. Yeah, like Tony Hinchcliffe's size. Right. Oh, really? That's little.

Tony's like, hey! I'm here for meat. I don't want ligaments and wise-ass attitude. To put it in perspective, you get about 400 pounds from an elk, and you get about 40 pounds from a deer. Oh, my God. Yeah. Definitely very different.

The elk is so good. It's crazy. I don't buy it. You know, last time you gave it, you gave me a bunch, and it's just been in the freezer. To go and buy a steak at Gelson's or whatever, or Ralph's, it's not happening. Well, I'm glad you enjoy it, man. man it's so good it's so cool to see that you like it it's so good for you you feel good yes right crazy right that's not yeah it's not just a placebo effect i don't think so

no i was i didn't get in the game to feel good i just wasn't because it was delicious so many hunters say that yeah so many hunters say that like say that you eat it and it gives you this boost of energy. You feel energized. Yeah. Because it's so nutrient dense. It's so dark. I mean, it's an animal that their main foe is wolves. Right.

Mountain lions. I mean, they're out there hustling. Yeah. If you can get a hold of that meat, that's a meat of champions. It's good stuff they scream they scream at each other like i mean you're you're eating like a mystical beast yeah that's what it feels like i i respect it but when you get it in a store a lot of times it's from farms it's from a farm in new zealand most likely i think they probably can do it at some places in

the united states maybe some places in canada where they commercially farm elk but most elk that you get you actually get from new zealand oh this is really interesting new zealand's a weird place man yeah i've never been a lot of the lamb you get it's from new zealand oh yeah yeah dude new zealand is really kind of crazy because they don't have any predators everything was was brought over by a bunch of rich European guys. They're like, wouldn't it be great if we had sheep over here? They just brought sheep. Wouldn't it be great if we had stags?

And so they brought over stags. I don't see an antelope. Have you ever seen a red stag? No. Beautiful, beautiful animal. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're all over the place in New Zealand. They brought them over there.

There was literally no large mammals in New Zealand, and they brought all of them over there. See if you can get a photograph of a red stag, New Zealand red stag. They're beautiful animals. It's kind of like an elk in a lot of ways. It looks like it's like the cousin of an elk. They have these gorgeous, gorgeous antlers, and they're just these big, crazy, beautiful animals. Do you have another trip coming up? I've never been to New Zealand.

Are you going for elk again? Yeah, I'll be going in the fall. I was going in the fall. Oh, that's nice. See, you got a photo of one? That's from Scottish, it says. Okay, that's a Scottish one. Don't they have a New Zealand red stag?

I didn't tie this. Okay, well, that's the dark side. Click on that photo. Click it. No, no, no. The one. Okay, that's good, too. And the one below it.

Let me see the one below that. It's huge. Okay, this is the dark side. See? Wow. Now, no, no. The one. Okay, that's good, too. And the one below it. Let me see the one below that. It's huge. Okay, this is the dark side. See. Wow. Now, what this is. Jeez. This is a New Zealand elk that's grown in a place where they grow them like this.

So it's probably a high fence operation. And they probably feed these things. So they probably have, like, big bundles of food. Right. And the more food an animal like that gets the more impressive a rack that rack is insane yeah there's actually a really amazing podcast about it oh see that looks like it's caught up in ropes or something what the hell is happening there it's like in a tree or something what the fuck is going on that looks like a vine yeah it

must have got caught on something it looks like a vine something else wrapped around in there that's so weird i really don't understand what that is that's why i clicked on it it's very abstract so it looks like the antlers are wrapped up in vines and then they shot it and left the vines on the head they could have taken the vines off just out of respect out of respect that does happen though like uh sometimes deer will get um like barbed wire and shit stuck in their antlers. Oh, yeah. Or bale wire. They'll get that shit stuck in their antlers.

Hey. They'll get it trapped around their legs and shit. It's terrible. Oh, man, that's awful. People always catch deer, or find deer, rather, that have been caught in fences. So, like, they're jumping through a fence and it gets twisted around and their leg gets stuck. Hey. Yeah.

That's not cool. It's terrible. That's not cool. Oh terrible that's not cool oh it's a drag it's a drag they find them there like coyotes find them and they just eat them alive you know what's really good too is the sausage oh yeah the sausage is fantastic anyway so that's why those antlers are so crazy they're not just because if they're in the wild that's not happening you wouldn't get enough food right there's a well i was going to say that there's a great podcast called The Meat Eater with my friend Steve Rinella. There's an episode where they're talking about that that's out right now. Let me find out which one it is. It's so much better.

Because it's pretty interesting. I just emotionally and mentally feel so much better eating it than I do knowing that something came from a big factory farm. It's just like... It's called Episode 180, Teeth episode 180 teeth horns and claws and uh he sits down with uh a wildlife biologist and they're they're talking about why animals grow things why they grow you know antlers and why they why they let go of their antlers and how you could take animals from one area where it looks like they have poor genetics their antlers are small and they move to another place with more food their antlers grow big so it just seems to be a direct correlation between their diet right how much their antlers grow so what they do with these these animals

most likely and i don't know how all of them do it because they probably vary but i know um in the united states like when they have deer farms they feed them like a super high-protein diet out of these feeders. And so these animals eat this crazy high-protein diet, and their antlers just go fucking filled with minerals. And like antler bone is a weird thing. It grows faster than any known bone on earth. I know. So when you see a deer's antlers and they're gigantic, that deer might have just grown those over the last three months really yes geez it's crazy especially elk antler in particular because they let go of their antlers very late uh-huh like antlers fall off once they

get done having sex they don't need the antlers anymore because the antlers are mostly to like show dudes that's what i was gonna ask like a bird like it's floral it's to attract but it also helps them in fights with each other right because like the males will fight and they they wind up for the lady yeah they kill each other all the time especially elk you'll find elks with like puncture wounds and their sides where they just jab each other and yeah one of them will trip and the other one will run his fucking antlers through its body cavity so when these people are feeding them this high protein stuff is it for the antlers or it's just for them to it's for the antlers it is yes it's so they develop these freakish antlers because then it's a trophy yes but it's there's two schools of thought on this there's people that

think that's great look at the antlers and then there's people who are the purest people that would be in the steve rinella camp that would find it grotesque and they would find it a direct direct evidence of a person meddling with it like almost like yeah that's what it kind of feels like right like almost akin in a way to like an animal that's wearing a collar like why is so obviously manipulated by a person like in the wild they don't't have like squirrely crazy shit that grows all over the place. Yeah. If you find one in the wild that has anything remotely like that, it's a freak of all freaks. Yeah.

They do exist. Right. In places that have like amazing food. And it would be more special because it's out there and it just happened. Whereas these all take place inside a fence. It's kind of sketch. Yeah. It's a little sketch.

Yeah. A little kind of sketch. Yeah, it's a little sketch. Yeah. A little meddlesome. It's troublesome because they also have to hunt them, right? So one of the problems is they will do these purges where they fly over in helicopters with certain species and they just gun them down and they leave them to rot. Why? Because they have too many of them.

They're devastating to the local flora, all the different plants, and they'll just eat through everything. There's no predators. There's no predators. They don't want to import wolves and start some crazy gang war. That sounds fun. Dude. There's a coyote. Coyotes in my neighborhood are going nuts right now.

They ripped apart a cat. Three of them on one cat. And somebody else lost one with two coyotes. They gang up together and they go after these. My cat is staying inside a lot these days. Cats have a terrible life in the Hollywood area. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, cats are in real trouble with these coyotes.

They're everywhere. I know, they're tricky. And they smell your cat. They know where your cat is. Right. They know when your cat's there. They know when your cat's not there. You don't even have to see them. Really? Oh, yeah. The they smell your cat. They know where your cat is. Right. They know when your cat's there. They know when your cat's not there. They don't even have to see them.

Really? Oh, yeah. The wind's coming down. Like, say if your cat's in your backyard and there's a coyote a mile away on the street and the wind hits that cat and blows towards that coyote, that coyote might be able to smell it. Jeez. They can smell some insane amount of distance. Wow.

And, you know, if the wind is blowing right, so it's blowing towards them, they can pick up these little things. And next thing you know, they're knowing that you got something in your yard. Jeez Louise. I wonder how with the effective distance. The way it was relayed to me was like you should consider the way a coyote could smell or a bloodhound or any kind of crazy dog smell the way you smell a skunk you know you smell skunk like a skunk could be like blocks away but you fucking smell it so strong you can smell it like almost a mile away maybe yeah maybe half mile yeah probably a little less that's how dogs are with everything with everything with your feet

it's a little smell your feet poor guys poor puppy imagine they could smell another dog taking a leak a block away like what yeah motherfucker isn't it funny when you're hanging with your dog and all of a sudden they just had their head goes up oh my god it's just purely out of smelling something in the distance yeah i was taking my dog out today and it was amazing the stuff he stops for yeah just what the fucking going on with this bush i know just freak out like yeah what the fuck is he smells man are you smelling this like i have zero idea what he's doing there was a possum here five hours ago that's what they say about bears that bears can not only smell you yeah they can smell you hours later and know how long it was that you passed through so know whether or not it's worth going after you jeez

bears are the best they just have they have a multiple i think i want to say a bear's nose is nine times stronger than a bloodhound's what yes i think that's the case really yeah i think it's like nine times stronger than a bloodhound's that's amazing yeah so think about it saying a bloodhound's nose yeah see if that's true that's what does it say that's why they're so manic i was looking at smell ranges and i typed in bear smell range it says it can smell a carcass from up to 20 miles away jesus wow 20 miles yeah let's let's bring those back what a good idea you fucking assholes you know california used to have a lot of them oh grizzlies yeah man really oh yeah we killed them all or not us but people in the 1800s right

that's our state flag bro and push them up up north but they've not pushed them off they murdered them there's no pushing they killed them all jeez yeah the last time a guy died at the hands of a grizzly bear that was documented in california was a guy i think his name was steven levec and there's a town up on the way to bakersfield if you're ever going to go do a gig out in big bakersfield you do bakersfield yeah it's great out there it It is nice out there. I like it out there. I know. Fun people. It's got that cool desert vibe. You're in the country somehow. Yeah. But anyway,

on the way up there, there's a town called Lavec and Lavec was named after the last man to get killed by a grizzly bear. Oh, really? Yeah,

and they exhumed him many years later to see if the story was true and his body was destroyed, like something bit through his thigh bones had mauled through it yeah you get tore apart by a bear there's a in new jersey right now they're having a in north jersey they're having a black bear problem yeah you know why no because their government stopped the hunting on bears the governor decided to stop

the bear hunt it was a part of him being elected but these people you're going to come face to face with the consequences of not managing dangerous wildlife black bears are dangerous wildlife they're beautiful all over yes they're a problem they're beautiful they're amazing it's definitely good to have them around but you cannot let them overpopulate without a management plan right and that's what i think was the difference between the way this guy was approaching it and the way wildlife biologists were approaching it they're approaching it from an emotional issue they don't want people to kill bears right but you have to take if if the bear becomes something that kills you which it could at one point in time

i mean there's a kid from rutgers that got killed by a bear a couple years back it's it's very rare yeah it's very rare that a person gets killed by a bear a couple years back it's it's very rare it's very rare that a person gets killed by a bear but that shit can happen more often and that very rare it's not going to do you any comfort it's if your kid turns up missing right you know your kid can't be in the backyard because bears might get your kid that's real right are you guys out of your fucking mind right like bears are giant wild dogs that again like jamie said can smell a carcass 20 miles away get the fuck out of here kill them all yeah gun gun them down don't let them don't let them overtake your neighborhood i'm not saying they shouldn't be in the woods they should but they should stay the fuck out of like

suburbs suburb neighborhoods what the problem also is that it's just growing there's so many humans every year more and more humans more and more developments there's really not much land for these animals. That's an interesting argument. It's not that good, though. But like the deer. But it hasn't expanded that much. What's happened is the populations of the animals has risen.

But there is sprawl. There's more developments. Certainly sprawl in comparison to like the 50s, the 60s, the 70s, the 80s, the 90s. But what is happening now with these overpopulations of animals is there's no one doing anything about it. See, if you have bears. Right. They don't have a fucking, there's no predators for bears.

Right. They occasionally eat each other. Right. They do it all the time, actually. They kill and eat each other all the time. Uh-huh. Especially cubs. Oh, yeah.

Males eat cubs. Females eat their own cubs. Why do they got to do that for? We were in Alberta and one of the guys that I was with, my friend John, his son, saw a bear kill a cub, and then the mother of the cub ate it. Jeez. Yeah. What's with these guys? This is the life they live, man.

They're not movie characters. Right. They're wild predators, and they're enormous. Yeah. These are several hundred pounds. characters right they're wild predators and they're enormous these are several hundred pounds and if you think it's cute to have millions of them in a state do you know that new jersey has the densest population of black bears in all of north america really yeah new jersey right bananas that is it's also the most densely populated for humans is it really yeah really

it's the most populated state because densely populated state yeah because it's not but it has a lot of people there's a lot Densely populated state. Yeah. But it has a lot of woods. And there's a lot of people. There's a lot of woods. There's still a lot of woods. There's a lot of places for these things to live. Yeah. But if you have bears and there's nothing, there's no wolves and there's no mountain lions, there's nothing taking the bears out.

There's just bears. There's a crazy amount of deer too. Yeah. A crazy amount. I was just there. I have family there. And we were just driving around this summer. It's like they were just popping up everywhere i mean the bears probably eating the

shit out of them too they're responsible for the death of 50 of all deer fawns bears bears yeah they just go around and eat the half of the deer fawns get eaten by bears wow yeah they did a study like where where deer fawns getting jacked it's like mostly bears well i mean mountain lions get them too all in new jersey fawns hanging out at the mall eating a chick-fil-a but there's no mountain lions in new jersey so that's all bears so the fawns there they're all getting jacked by bears well that was the big debate i believe when i was there was they were thinking about uh allowing bear hunting well it was a big it was a big uh kerfuffle whether or not legal it's been legal it was legal then it was this new governor right made it illegal right right right but the people that live there think it's a terrible idea to make it illegal to make it illegal but i get

it i get people don't want bears to die but you just have to understand management you have to manage wildlife numbers when you're around people i mean this idea that you shouldn't do that because they should they should be here because they were here first and we're taking over their land you're right you're right about all those things you're right but we're team people right but that's the reality we're dealing with right exactly you can't let many many bears move in your area it's a fucking disaster they're gonna eat your garbage you're gonna get scared someone's gonna get bit someone could die yeah i mean and and it accelerates with the population increase right whatever it is i mean there's a wild video from um fuck what what far rock away

which is oh really yeah and these two bears that's like queens it's like queens new york these two bears get in a they start duking it out. Jeez. No, that's not the Far Rockaway one. Is that Far Rockaway? Is that what it says? Okay, Far Rockaway, New Jersey. Okay, this is a different one, but it's the same.

This is brand new. Oh, Jesus Christ. Jeez, those look like grizzlies. These are big bears. I always picture them smaller. These are more than 200 pounds. Whoa. That's what it looks like to me.'m looking at them oh easy 200 plus pound bears it's like jamie times two well there's another one where these these bears fight where i'm not

bullshitting the bears look like 400 pound bears they're fucking enormous and they knock over this uh they knock over this um mailbox and they crash into some garbage they're so big dude and they spill out onto the street where cars are there oh my god cars are watching these and you get a real uh perspective sense of how big they are with the cars right right i'm guessing 300 pounds plus maybe 400 pounds they gotta be fast and they're duking it out with each other in front of everybody in new jersey dude in people's yards god another one with two giant bears in the same area. Oh, my God.

From earlier this year. Frankfort Township. I know the one you're talking about. We brought up a few times. So this is another one. Yeah. God. My sister had a whole family just walking down her street.

Dude, this is going to be a problem. Yeah. And they're going to have to hire people to go and kill these things. All it will take is one person getting eaten at the Taco Bell. it could be a lot of different things could be people's dogs yeah this was the original video that i saw so these do they're fighting right outside these people's house and then they duke it out they duke it out they uh they eventually crash into the mailbox that's shaky camera work yeah well that's because he's terrified. Look at this. They're duking it out. Also, though, this is like a good sign that these were old ass fucking cameras.

This is like before they really had stabilization on cell phone cameras. Right. Look at the size of these fucks. Jeez. And they're just fighting on the streets in front of all these people. Man, oh man. This is what happens when you don't let people hunt them. Wow. Or this is what happens when you don't hunt them enough.

You got to manage it. When you encroach. Yes. Dude, it's fucking dangerous, man. These are wild animals. And these people that live there are soft-ass domesticated people. They don't know what that is. They're not like us.

They don't know how to fight bears. Ah, look at the size of these things. That is massive. Dude, these are big they're big those are big bears that's not what i pictured like you ever go to the black bear diner they have what they have out here they have like all these wooden bears it's really cool look at this they make them look so adorable they wear hats they've got vests on i didn't see them crashing anything maybe i was wrong about that maybe it's another one wow there's so many of

these videos of bears fighting god you know alaska takes it one step further though one of my favorite videos is oh yeah i'll say they did knock into something no that's no well didn't they say didn't alaska say you can shoot them in their den now i don't think wasn't that the thing no i don't think so that's what i heard unless they're trying to get rid of a certain number of them what i was going to talk about was moose in people's driveways there's this crazy fight where this guy's sitting in front of his car yeah in the morning sitting in his car in front of his house in the morning and he's filming these gigantic moose duking it out on the front lawn it is great they are fucking enormous and they're smashing antlers right on this guy. There it is. Look at this. Look at this, man. Whoa.

This is fucking crazy. They're so big. They crash into that car. Oh, God. They probably fucked that car up. But imagine if this is your house and you're watching two huge moose duking out. Like, this... I would like to live in a place like that.

Well, you can move to Anchorage, Alaska. This can happen to you. That would be fun. You'd move right next to Sarah Palin. My cat wouldn't. Where she live? The cat's fucked. My cat wouldn't make it.

The cat becomes an indoor cat. Lock her in the house when you open the door. Don't let her out. Because everything's going to jack her. Yeah, look at these things, man. They don't. Bro, look how big they are. Oh, he got them on his back.

Take down. They're so big, man. These are so, so huge. This guy's running. All of a sudden, the camera's... Oh, my God. This is how you put it in perspective, right? A deer is like maybe 100...

Like an axis deer is like maybe 150 pounds. An elk, a big one, is like closing in on 1,000 pounds. Like 800, 900 pounds. A moose is twice that big. Twice that big? Twice that big. 1,800, 2,000 pounds sometimes. Oh, my God. A big male moose is twice that big twice that big twice that big 1800 2000 pounds sometimes oh my god a big male moose like those moose right there they easily could have been 600 1600 pounds 1700

pounds they're so big and those are big ones man they had giant antlers yeah you see how wide their antlers are yeah yeah you see what that's like a fully mature moose oh man they're fucking enormous i came around to ben on my motorcycle in maine once and there was just a moose just standing there in the middle of the road like this it was like a wall it was like i think there's a wall in the middle of the road and it was a gigantic moose greg fitzsimmons did this gig in new hampshire and they told you told him that he couldn't swear so greg when he was young as he is is today, was a smartass. But today he's a professional smartass. That has not changed.

Back then he was just kind of learning the smartass craft. So he immediately opened up with, hey, what's going on, fuckers? And, of course, doesn't clean up his act at all. And they sent him home. But what was crazy was on the way up there they were telling him do not drive at night because of the moose right because you could hit a moose but he goes after my show they were so mad at me they're like fuck you go drive with the moose they sent him home out of the state in the dark in new hampshire with the moose out i just love the picture of a young fitzsimmons he was he was

hilarious he was such a smart was such a smart ass. Such a smart ass. I've known Greg since we literally started out within a week of each other. Oh, really? Doing open mic nights. Wow. I met him early in New York. We did so many shitty gigs together.

He was mean. What? Greg? Was he? Come on. Greg is cutting. I mean, I always got along with him great. He was always nice.

But no, but he had that, you know, he had Fitzsimmons attitude where if he locks it on you, you're toast. Oh, yeah. If he thinks you suck. Yeah. Yeah. If he thinks you suck and you annoy him. Yeah.

Especially if you're cocky, you annoy him. You don't know me, motherfucker. You ever hear that joke of his yeah that's hilarious it's a hilarious bit he's got a lot of hilarious i tell him every time i see him it's the best it's the best bit of the year yeah i think greg and i probably we i don't know how many gigs we did together but for like the first few years of our comedy, when we're really starting to get like road gigs. Yeah, yeah. We did a shit ton of them together.

Oh, that's great. Including open mic nights, man. We just drive all the way down to Rhode Island. We drive to Providence, Rhode Island to work. We'll do like 10 minutes for free. Wow, of course. It's the best. Yeah, we're so excited.

Maybe not even 10. It might have been five minutes. Who would drive? Whoever. Whoever's fucking car worked. Right. It's amazing. it might have been five minutes who would drive whoever whoever's fucking car worked right i remember one time though me and greg and this other dude were in a car and the other dude starts talking about vibrators in his ass and about how much is his girlfriend likes to put vibrators in his ass and we're and we're who's saying this another comic uh-huh this comic is telling us

this crazy story i mean we're trapped with this guy all the comic is telling us this crazy story. I mean, we're trapped with this guy all the way to Maine driving and he's in the back seat talking about taking in the ass with vibrators. I'm like, what? We didn't get that close. Like this is,

it's a weird time to bring up the subject. It's his opening conversation. It's like, I'm not averse to that subject. I'm not averse to you discussing. I don't think, but play, first of all, I don't think butt play. First of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay.

And I don't think butt play makes you gay. So let's just like. It's intimate. It's an intimate opener. That's what I'm saying. Let's soothe all those worries right there. I don't care. I'm fine.

Whatever you're into. I have no problem with you getting your butt touched. And I have no problem with you being gay. This is just. That's not what I'm talking about. This is like why you're driving. I have no problem with you getting your butt touched, and I have no problem with you being gay. This is just- That's not what I'm talking about. This is like, while you're driving- This is hello. And all of a sudden, you're like, yeah, my girl, she loved it. Put vibrators in my asshole, and like, what?

Hello, how do you do? Nice to meet you. My girlfriend. I mean, we knew this guy, but we didn't know this guy. Like, know this guy. I didn't know him as much as I knew Greg, and if Greg was telling me that in a car with somebody else, I'd be like, why are you telling me this this other dude is here this is something you don't want everybody to know yeah it's nay on the ass play yes it doesn't seem like you would want to broadcast that to just

random strangers that's so funny wanted us to know that uh his girl liked to put vibrators in his asshole and we were in a we were trapped with this guy and sadly he wasn't that good of a comedian either oh boy yeah neither were any of us back then but we were a little better than him right he was in this he was in this range there's a range that happens with early comedy young comics coming up where you're like oh i don't know if you're ever going to get out of this yeah no you can see pretty quickly like sometimes some of us you suck in the beginning but you have a hint yeah there's something there something there yeah no exactly yeah kyle dunnigan and i uh did a show early on for a high school in new jersey and we drove out there and the same thing just be really clean make sure it's really clean

it's got to be clean and uh kyle went up i went up and i you're bombing because it's high school kids you don't have a great act to begin with and it's all high school children and you have nothing to relate to them and they don't want to listen to a man talking and how old are you at the time uh probably 32 something like that i don't know 35 and uh i'm just bombing and just trying to get through it and then uh and then kyle comes out and he's the whole time backstage he's like do i do my songs do i do my songs i'm like you know i don't know whatever it works you know just try and keep it clean. He comes down, he sings this song. It was about the Irish parade, the St. Patrick's Day parade, sung like in an Irish brogue.

And one line was, they were debating whether or not homosexuals could march in the parade. That was a big thing in New York for like a decade. And Kyle had a funny song about it and the line was if your ass if you're if if my cock is if my cock is the ladle your ass be the stew like the song is like an irish if your cock be the ladle me ass be the stew and i just hear him like starting to get to it. And he goes into it. It's the first thing that the audience loves.

The kids are so excited by it. Oh, my God. Fast forward, the show's over. We're going to get paid. And a high school principal is livid. He has a Winnie the Pooh tie. And there's two girls there. He does?

He's got a Winnie the Pooh tie. He's purple. He's so angry and he's yelling at us. What are you? These are children. Your ass is the, your cock is the ladle

and there's two, and there's two girls. They made us cupcakes and had construction paper saying thank you for performing at our school with stars and moons. Oh my God.

And they don't know whether they should give us the treats or not because the principal is just yelling at us but these are high school students oh so funny these are high school kids though we got the check yes high school kids they already knew those things that's why they laughed oh of course of course but he couldn't sanction it but kyle just you know you're dying and you have you have no you have no material so what else is he gonna do he had to break out the song.

Yeah. There's nothing else he can do, right? He's just trying to survive and get paid and get out of there. Yeah, you got to survive. You got to take it on the chin. Hey, you got to come on my radio show. I got to? Yeah.

Didn't you say you do it at 7 in the morning? 7 to 9. Why do you got to do that? Well, I don't know know you should do it when you're awake i know you want it to be good it's really early does it stream live or something yeah it's on sirius okay it's netflix is a joke radio you know they have they took all their specials and they run them on i was so confused on the netflix radio i was thinking that netflix was going to have its own radio channel.

Like they have a Netflix channel. Their own radio channel. That's what I was thinking. Oh, you thought there was going to be a comedy. Yeah, like an app. Like a new thing that they're doing. It's like Raw Dog on SiriusXM or Comedy Greats. So you have to have Sirius to listen to it.

Yeah. That's what I was thinking. That you could listen to it on the Netflix app. Because you know, so many people listen to Netflix on their phones now oh really yeah so many people watch specials i think they said that like 50 of the people that watch my netflix special watched on a phone wow yeah they're actually even many people are formatting their uh specials to make them better to watch on phones oh interesting yeah like the way they're shooting it in terms of like how they zoom in on the shot what shots they choose really yeah they're shooting it in terms of like how they zoom in on

the shot what shots they choose really yeah they're doing it so you could look at it on a you know fucking samsung galaxy that's interesting plus or something you know so they have all these specials from all these people so they started their own channel and i have the first radio show on it and it runs seven to nine out here and then uh and then two to four so it's drive time here in the morning and drive time in new york in the afternoon and you and fortune fortune fortune feimster yeah she's so funny she's very fun i love her so much very cool person yeah they were like who do you want you know to do this with you and i and she was on this short list i was like oh done she always seems very friendly

she's really funny she's just bright she murders too murders murders on stage she's so funny she's very very funny her Instagram's really funny

is it? she dances she does ice cream dances she always gets an ice cream cone and dances along with it we need to get her and Fahim together so they work out

but it's cool because it's all comedy it's all comedians coming in talking about their specials talking about comedy and yeah it's pretty fun but it's early it's cool because it's all comedy. It's all comedians coming in, talking about their specials, talking about comedy. Yeah, it's pretty fun. But it's early. It's early.

Why do they make you do that? I don't know. I'm not sure if it's really necessary. Yeah, you got to put your foot down. You could do it the night before and have it run in the morning. Because we're not like doing hard news. You could just bypass that system and do a podcast. I do have a podcast.

I know you do. But do it like. Do it in a podcast i do have a podcast i know you do but do it like do it in a podcast form yeah just do a successful podcast do you have a specific contract for a certain amount of time i'm not trying to get you out of your uh yeah we're gonna do it for a year and then um it is fun i am enjoying it but it's good but you know what it's gonna mess with my spots during the week. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what we were saying. I was saying if you wanted to do the improv tomorrow night,

you said you really can't because you've got to get up early in the morning. I could do an early show. I can't do late shows. Tough shit. A little late show. The show starts at 1030. I don't know what to tell you. We're not going to move everything back for you, Tom.

Why? I thought we were friends. You shouldn't have a job like that. It's a preposterous job. You what to tell you. We're not going to move everything back for you, Tom. Well, why? I thought we were friends. You shouldn't have a job like that. It's a preposterous job. You're up at 7 in the morning talking. It's crazy. Yeah, it's doing morning radio all the time. If I'm up at 7 in the morning, I'm exercising.

I want to get things done first. I don't want to just wake up and talk. I'm not ready yet. Hey, ho. I can't remember names. My memory is 50% is good when i first wake up really yeah 50 it sucks it sucks it's terrible you hit me with a pop quiz how long does it take you to dust off the cobwebs i don't know i often thought about that right i often thought about

like how dumb i am during the day if there's like a meter if you could like see like now i should make some good decisions he He's getting smarter, getting smarter. Two in the afternoon, I'm feeling pretty fucking good. You know, but somewhere around late at night, everything starts to fall apart.

And early in the morning, everything falls apart. What's late at night for you? Like one-ish, one-thirty. Like I don't work out at one-thirty in the morning. Yeah. I really don't have the energy to work out.

You mean physically working? Like sometimes I'll be writing at one-thirty in the morning. I really don't have the energy to work out. You mean physically working? Yeah. Like sometimes I'll be writing at 1.30 in the morning. And I can write at 1.30 in the morning. But if I had to go through one of my workout routines. Like a physical activity. Like a real workout. Yeah.

I can't do it. No. I'm too tired. Well, you shouldn't. It's 1 o'clock in the morning. Right. But that's letting you know that there's a cycle to where you have energy and where you don't have energy.

Right. When you're awake and when you don't have energy. Right. When you're awake and when you're not awake. Yeah, yeah. But some people, they perform way better late in the afternoon. Like, I used to feel that way about jujitsu class. Like, early morning jujitsu classes, that was terrible. I just couldn't get my body warmed up. Oh, really?

Yeah, I didn't like them. But the evening ones, like an 8.30 class, I was peaking. Oh, interesting. Yeah yeah i'm better working out early yeah yeah it's like after lunch what is a typical tom pop a day like how do you start your day uh radio day or no radio day regular day off parts i don't want to hear those well i guess we're fast forwarding to noon. Okay, give me a radio day. Non-radio day.

Okay, non-radio day. Non-radio day. I get up at 7. Damn. I get up at 7. I go upstairs. Like a soldier. I make coffee. I get one cup of coffee.

Do you play classical music softly? Once in a while. Yeah? I picture you OCD butter in your toast. Some sort of weird way. No, I don't eat straight away it's just straight black coffee into the office i have an office and i try and write i sit at the desk i call it going into the shop and i sit there and i write and i make sure that there's no

appointments until noon anything i'm going to do i don't do until noon except if I'm going to do, I don't do until noon. Except if I'm going to go for a run or work out. I'll put in a couple hours and then when I start to fade, I'll go for a run and then come back and continue. Oh, I skipped something.

I'm sorry. Before the coffee, if I'm up early enough and the house isn't up, I'll meditate first for 20 minutes. Before you even write? Before I coffee, before I write. Really? Yeah. Wake up, water in the face, maybe brush teeth, up into the office, and then take 20 right away.

Because it's more restful than sleep. 20 right away oh because it's more restful than sleep so even if you had like a bad night's sleep or you're tossing or whatever was going on you're now ready to to go through the day what kind of meditation are you doing tm transcendental meditation but transcendental meditation there there's a weird um thing about that right some people think it's kind of culty it's not culty it's not culty there's no there's no leaders right but is wasn't there um wasn't there some controversy with tm a while back i don't think so no am i misconstruing it with something else yeah no that's why i like i don't i'm i'm very into it i been doing it for a long time. It's great.

But I like yoga. I like all that kind of stuff. Unless you get a little hippy-dippy with it and a little too preachy. Then I'm out. Yeah, me too. And this is totally basic, simple. When I was taught it, there was nothing hippy-dippy flaky about it. But you know what, man? That hippy-dippy flaky shit, it only feels shitty if the person's not really living that life. And you can kind of feel it.

It's kind of bullshitting. Yes. There was this guy I used to take classes from. His name was Peter. He's from South Africa. I only took his classes a few times. But he was like one of those genuinely spiritual people. Right.

And he would say these things. was like one of those genuinely spiritual people right and he would say these things and you could tell he wasn't trying to manipulate you or namaste you or satnam or he wasn't trying to bullshit you that's yeah and then there was another guy that he used to take classes with that it felt like he was always bullshitting right it's always it was so annoying i know and he wound up banging this other dude's wife and of course he became a giant disaster he's the guy with the acoustic guitar making eye contact with you. It's so funny you say that. He would sing.

Yeah. He would sing in clashes. Of course, of course. No, you can smell it. And that's why I had a hard time with yoga until I found this one teacher, and she was just great. And it's the same thing with TM.

Controversy. Here it is. There was some cult controversy or something a while ago with it. Yeah, okay. With TM? Can we make that a little larger? I can barely read with it. Yeah, okay. With TM? Can we make that a little larger? I can barely read that shit.

Yeah, that's really small. The organization has been the subject of controversies labeled a cult by several parliamentary inquiries or anti-cult movements of the world. Some also suggest that TM, its movement, are not a cult. Just that TM, its movement, are not a cult. The TM movement has been characterized in a variety of ways. It's been called a spiritual movement, a new religious movement, a millenniarian. Yeah, this is. Millennarian.

Yeah, I don't want to watch it. Okay. There's some other articles about it. World affirming movement, social movement, a guru-centered movement. How a new book exposes the dark side of Transcendental Education. I don't even understand where you would have, like where it would happen. Like there's no place to go. Well, I'm honestly ignorant of it, so explain it to us. Yeah, there's nothing.

It's very, you know, I tried meditating in all these different ways, and this kind of made it very simple. Doesn't Seinfeld do this too? Yes. He's the end of TM? Yeah, he's actually the one that got me into it. And for a long time i was thinking well i meditate i count breaths i'd kind of do it but i wasn't really feeling maybe i was

i was always had in my head that maybe tm is different maybe maybe going and learning that would kind of dial it in so he took classes on it so i took four classes you went you saw this guy here in California, and just go for an hour, four days in a row, and he teaches you what to do it. And the analogy is that there's this, the reality is just in this tumultuous ocean waves. We're on the top, we're on the surface, that's where we live. We're on the top. We're on the surface. That's where we live.

And this is just a way through a mantra to get you down below the waves to sit for 20 minutes. And it's very freeing because there's no controlling your mind. There's no forcing it to come back and count breaths. You're not thinking about what you have to do. You just do the mantra, do the mantra, and then let it go go and if your brain starts thinking about work it thinks about work if it starts thinking about your wife it's just let it be let it be let it be and 20 minutes you pop out of it and you feel not right away i don't feel changed immediately. Like, I'll feel, you know, I have an Apple Watch, and my heart rate is low.

Like, it's 40 to 50. All the time, or when you're doing this? No, when I'm doing that. How much is it normally? Probably like 80. What's it right now? How long does it take to find that out? It's going to take a while.

Hey, Siri. It's at 80. 80? Yeah. And you get down to, Siri? It's at 80. 80. Yeah. And you get down to 40 when you do TM? Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

It's very calming. And it just kind of gives your nervous system a respite. That's pretty heavy. It's pretty great. It gives me a lot of energy. Did I activate Siri by saying, hey, Siri? Oh, yeah. Siri did.

I didn't catch that. Siri is paying. People right now are screaming at me because their car is? Oh yeah, Siri did. I didn't catch that. People right now are screaming at me because their car is going boop boop. What would you like me to do? But I don't feel it right away. I'll notice it hours later that I have more energy. Like I'm still going.

What is the process? How do you do it? I just sit. And what's the mantra? Everyone has an individual mantra. Tell us your mantra. I can't. Come on, bro. What if someone's a gigantic Tom Papa fan? They want to do everything that you do.

Well, that's true. It's jelly beans. That's what you say? No. Liar. It's just a noise, pretty much. Wouldn't it be weird if you just kept saying Jerry Seinfeld? Jerry Seinfeld.

Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld. Sourdough. Sourdough. Sourdough. Sourdough would be cool. Sourdough. Because it's a delicious food.

Sourdough. But it wouldn't be nearly as weird as something about Brad Garrett. Yeah. Brad Garrett. Brad Garrett. Yeah, it would be weird right so i'm telling so i do it first thing in the morning 20 minutes and then sometime in the late afternoon so can you explain all you do is you sit and you just chant your mantra in my mind and you don't say it out loud

don't say it out okay so as you're just repeating the mantra in your mind you just try to stay on path of just keeping i just keep saying it and when i don't try and stay on a path i don't force anything i just keep saying it but if your brain tries to trick you and say hey tom i have a great idea for a new bit do you let it happen let it go it's okay just write the bit down or do you go no no whoa you're risking it all i'm not that great of a comedian so those things don't happen the moments where i have fucking been laying in bed and i was too tired to get up and i would wait i'd say i'm gonna remember i'll remember that sure yeah i definitely didn't. No. And yeah, 20 minutes.

And I'm telling you, my one friend described it as it adds another four hours to your day. Wow. And it's really true. When you called me today, last minute to come in, I took 20 before I came because I was dragging. I went for a run this morning. I meditated this morning, but then I went for a run. I came back. I was dragging. I went for a run this morning. I meditated this morning, but then I went for a run. I came back. I was writing.

And you called and you're like, can you come on over? I was like, yeah, that's cool, but let me drop for 15 minutes before I get in the car. So that's what you did. You meditated for 15 minutes? Yeah. Wow. Do you do that before sets?

If I'm tired, yeah. If it's towards the end of the day and I've got something at you know at night that's a little later does it help you make decisions yes how did you still make the decision to do a radio show at seven in the morning because i'm not afraid of it because i know that i can meditate and i'll have energy how many days a week i don't have to worry about getting a good night's sleep. Ever? No. That's crazy. I can meditate and then I'll be okay for the show. That's crazy.

I can't do that. Yes, you can. You should go. I can. You should go. Okay. Really? Yeah, I'd love to.

I'll hook you up with the guy. Can I just watch a YouTube video? Isn't that good enough? No. I've learned so much from YouTube, though. Have you? Yes. It's true.

Why can't you learn Transcendental from youtube you know what there is this mystery about it and i would research it and i was like maybe like why can't i just learn it mystery the only difference is having this man explain it to you it kind of dials it in and i went back once since i learned it initially just to kind of tune up tune up there's not that much but it initially just to kind of tune up. There's not that much, but it's just, you know, they give you a little bit, you know, it's like playing tennis or something. And they're like, no, just hold it like this. Oh, right. Okay.

Or like in yoga, they're like, you think you're doing this, but your elbows are out. Just kind of bring them in. That's big in yoga. Like sometimes the instructor will give you one thing. She'll say one thing about the way you're standing or the way you keep your weight you're like oh man and you just change it just slightly yeah right oh my god it's so much harder i know which you never would have learned at home yeah so it's kind of a similar thing and uh it just uh and over time so that's what it is on a daily basis. But over time, it makes you more chill. Things don't bother me the way they used to bother me. Just day-to-day aggravations.

Normal bullshit. Normal bullshit. You slowly transform without realizing it. Do you know who Dan Harris is? Sam Harris? Dan Harris? Dan Harris? From,

No. From, what is the show? Nightline? That sounds right. Is that what he's on? Anyway, he'd been on the podcast for a really nice guy.

He's got a, is it Nightline? He's got an app called 10% Happier. Mm-hmm. And it's just a meditation app and just he wants people to know that it's been super beneficial to him so he talks about it often talked about on my podcast and he actually used the tank he's the only guy yeah he's the only guy other than me that's ever used that tank i want to use the tank okay this was a weird thing i offer it to fucking everybody but dan

harris is the only one who said i'm in let. Let's do it. When you called me today, I was online looking at tanks. Do you have room in your house for one? No. That thing's big. It's big. It's big. It's hotter than I thought. Well, you don't want to be cold in there.

No, that's true. It's 94 degrees. 94. Yeah, that's what you want. That's about the temperature of the surface of your skin somewhere in that range how did he like it how long do i stay in there as long as an hour you can stay as long as you want the most i ever do those two hours i've done more on edibles oh really i couldn't move i just had to stay put for real yes yeah i've gone you ate edibles and

went in there oh many times really oh for sure yeah yeah that sounds kind of crazy it's crazy edibles have a unique visual quality when you're in a sensory deprivation tank because the tank enhances any sort of um any sort of sensory experience any psychedelic experience is enhanced by the tank right because the tank removes the environment it removes the world. Right. And it puts you in this place where you don't see anything or hear anything or feel anything. You're just flying through space.

You put the ear things in? I don't. I just let salt water get in my ears. That's what I saw online. I just rinse my ears out after it's over. It seems to be fun. Right. And just float.

You don't have to keep your head up. I like my ears in the water. It doesn't bother me. I put my ears in the water when I swim, too. It's like, I mean, wearing earplugs when I swim in the ocean. Why am I wearing earplugs when I lay in this tank? I thought it was an audio thing that you're trying to shut out noise. You can do it, but I'm always aware of the plugs.

They kind of fuck with the balance of your head. Yeah, I get that. But if you had something over the ear well anyway you can you can do it but some people like it that way some people use the way you don't have to no you don't have to some people actually get them form fitted to their ears so they slide in really easily so you barely even notice that they're there and my understanding is that you lay like you're floating but you don't have to support yourself you don't have to do shit your neck your head anything nothing you lay like you're floating, but you don't have to support yourself. You don't have to do shit.

Your neck, your head, anything. Nope, nothing. Yeah, you have to do it. I can't believe you've never done it before. Yeah. No, I'm really. It's super easy. It's right here.

You tell me when. All right. We'll open it up. That'd be great. There's a shower in that room. It's real easy. You just have to lay there and just slow down and just concentrate on your breathing. And if you already have your TM tm routine i bet i'm

sure you could do it in there yeah just do it in there it'd probably be amazing right you'd want to buy a house with a extra garage bay so you can stick one in it hey yeah i know a guy who had one like the actually i knew a guy who had one in a i didn't know him but i knew the guy who installed it the guy installed a shed in his backyard just so he could have the tank. Really? Yeah, so he bought like a tool shed that you could buy and build. So he built this shed, had electricity plumbed out to it, must have got some sort of a building permit,

and then plugged this fucking tank into this shed. And that's where, you know, because he wanted one so bad in his house, he didn't have any room in his actual house. How often do you do it, and what that's where you know because he wanted one so bad in his house he didn't have any room in his actual house how often do you do it and what does it give you well i do it whatever i can it's what i like is once a week if i get once a weekend that'll be awesome wow that's a lot lately i haven't been lately it's been more like once a month right but um when i do get in it i just uh i just can have a better perspective it makes it calms me down right it puts me into this place where things i'm not connected to the world anymore so i feel like

i can look at the world from an outside perspective and you you can do it you carry that with you when you leave you mean you take you carry something i mean i think all these things are cumulative yeah you know all the books you read the documentaries you you watch all the conversations you have with insightful people all those things have an accumulation effect i agree like you as you become exposed to more things and talk to more cool people and listen to more cool ideas and have these cool conversations with people your your perspective enhances yeah it just does no it does it seeps in yeah yeah no i totally buy it i think we should think of your perception the same way i think we think about

other skills that like some people are really good at running with a football right it's super hard to take them down they just they're so good at anticipating your moves and getting out of the way and and and they have they have everything down right. I think that's the same way with everything. Everything. Including your own perceptions of life and the way you view and the way you manage your own life. I think you can get really good at it where things come your way. You just, whoop, not today, motherfucker.

Oh, shit, not me. You ain't getting me. Yeah, yeah. Or you could be that person who's like uh you know super uncoordinated unathletic kid all reaction yeah who is trying to tackle a super athlete right yeah you know right yeah no a hundred percent but i think we don't think about it that way because the the one way is thoughtful the other way is thoughtless yes that's the i think that seems to be like kind of the key for sure just paying attention to that aspect of your life that definitely has an effect

on it yeah but what i'm saying is also that that is definitely true but what i'm saying is also that i think the way you interface with life is a skill and i think we don't think of it as a skill yeah i think we don't think of it as something you get better at or that we even try to get better at. And this includes the way you communicate with people. That includes the friendships that you have and making sure your friends know that you love them, making sure your friends know you care about them. All these things are, this is a part of the way you live life

and you get better at this as a skill. We only think of skills as things that we decide to do. Like, I want to play piano. Oh, my God, you have a skill at playing piano. I'm a really good golfer. Oh, you have golfing skill. You don't think of the way you interface with people and the way – you don't think of that as a skill. No, I know.

But I think we should. Yes, absolutely. I always think of that in terms of the interpersonal stuff, just in basic manners. Like there used to be real guidelines for how you said hello to somebody and when you took your hat off. Yes. How you said goodbye and all those little, all those, what were perceived as stuffy, mannerly things that people had to do, stuck up people had to do. They're helpful. They're really like how to act at a funeral, how to act at a birthday party, all those

little rules. Etiquette. Exactly. Etiquette. Yeah, they used to teach courses in etiquette. Yes. And without it, it's kind of like, it's stupid not to play with it because we need a bit of, all the stuff we're talking about is creating your

own little guidebook to get through life do you think they still teach etiquette in any high schools is that a focus of study we have no we have such little money for schools they're getting rid of art they're getting rid of gym they're probably there's probably not a lot of etiquette that seems like a critical life skill though it is it really is it really is because how you so one of the things that's true is how people how much people enjoy being around you that makes your life more enjoyable and people don't think of it that way they oftentimes think i want to be the one that's enjoying life like especially selfish people right they think of what they want uh-huh right right but if people enjoy being around you right you'll enjoy everything more this is what they don't understand like the the solo effort that's right of going through life

like with a narcissistic perspective yeah one of the major problems with that is there's no one to share it with because you're all out for yourself. That's right. Even if you get there, you're going to be filled with sadness and despair. That's right. It's not what you want. What you want is to be happy, right? Well, I know you think that you have to be all about yourself to be happy, but in fact, that is a way to ensure unhappiness regardless of success. That's right.

That's the mindfuck. Yeah, exactly. That's the mindfuck. Well, you think that these small things wouldn't have a big effect on you right you think that well like uh having a sense of community going to the same shops all the time you would think that's just me doing errands no you're now connected to the woman that works at that pharmacy you're connected to that bagger at the grocery store you're connected to to that person at the church, whatever it is in your little world. And you think you're just going about your day, but you're not. You're getting enriched by these interactions with people.

Dealing with other human beings in a nice manner is rewarding. And it gives you a sense of place. It gives you a sense of belonging, a you a sense of belonging a sense of love all of those things but you have to learn that yourself that's the problem it's true but that's yeah nobody guides you along that path it's an important perspective i mean it really is like it's it's an important uh angle on life they look at it this way and you'll benefit greatly and you will also bring up those around you yeah and you will also bring up those around you yeah like that's and also bring up those around you benefits you greatly benefits everybody

yeah and when you're in a position where you can help your friends in that way and you support each other and you build each other up when that person has success you get great joy like great satisfaction from seeing your friend succeed yeah right, right. A lot of people have a hard time, especially, I mean, I don't know how it was when you were starting out comedian, but I had a hard time with other people's success when I first started out. I think we all did. Because nothing was happening for me. Right.

I was like, God damn it. How did he get that show? Oh my God. How did he get this? Right. It's a dumb way to look at it. And I had to recognize that it was dumb. I had to learn me too

just by paying attention to myself going why don't what is wrong with you like i will occasionally talk to myself as if i'm me outside of me going what the fuck is this it's like sometimes it's the only way to really look at yourself right it's hard to do but if you just how would i feel if i wasn't me if i was outside of me watching me right i'd be like what are you what are you bitching about that guy getting a thing you fucking idiot you're not even working on yourself you're sitting here complaining about stuff yeah but that's default for so many people well that's envy right right and it's very easy to have when you're discovering yourself and trying to make your way and as a comedian and you're like well i'm doing all the right things people

laugh at me why did that guy just show up and he's on mtv and i'm not sure i mean and that also exists in in haters right like when you see uh someone especially when it comes to sports teams you see some of the guys that are like sports haters or they'll call this guy a pussy and this guy fucking sucks and he's a bum and he's a this and he's yeah how much effort are you putting into your own life right how effort are you putting into your own life right how much are you putting into shitting on this guy right well it's easier to do that oh my god so much easier instantaneous yeah it's right there instant gratitude yeah gratification rather i remember i had i had the same thing that you did i was in new york i was

working at the comedy cellar and i was just getting angry and frustrated. I couldn't get on Conan. I wanted to get on Conan. I just wanted to get on Conan. And it wasn't until I stopped paying attention to what everyone else was doing consciously, like told myself, don't even go in the room. Don't read about other people. Just blinders. Put blinders on. This is just you and your little path.

Enjoy yourself and go about it. Right. And try and really shut it out. Yeah. And that's when everything got correct. And when it got correct, that's when I got Conan. That's when all these things started happening because I was only worried about myself. And then later on, now you have perspective.

You can watch other people and actually have joy that these people are doing these things. Conan is the nerd seal of approval. If you're a nerd comedian, and i mean that in a good way like if you're a smart comedian and you get conan that's like damn you nailed it you got the smart show that's the smart show yeah right it was always i did it yeah it's in uh the first one was in new york yeah oh when when he was in new york my one of my friends was writing for him in the early early early early early days yeah well he was so creative like he had such a he's a writer yeah he was a real funny writer and everything came from that yeah so you wanted to be a part like if you couldn't be hacky and get on the show so like you had to be working you had to be try and be unique like it was a seal of

approval that you were comedically unique yeah and that was important i knew a couple guys who worked for him um brian kiley i think yeah he's still there yeah he's still there yeah yeah brian and laurie kill martin oh i don't know laurie but uh i knew another guy uh amir amir galan he uh his stage name was stage name was james lemur funny dude oh yeah but he worked for him and when he and i were friends and i went to one of the early tapings it was weird to see because they they had scripted conversations now eventually they he went on to become so comfortable on stage where he just would ask questions and then play off and riff and right

but in the early days they had their conversation scripted what do you mean the conversation so like him and a guest and no and what's his face the guy his sidekick andy richter yeah him and andy richter would have they would be reading off cue cards oh really yeah so they have they would know what they were going to say wow basically doing like a sketch that's a writer right yeah it's like they had written out the jokes right but it was like of course the network wanted that because they wanted to make sure it was funny how do you know it's not funny write it right make it funny don't take a chance that you guys are going to be funny it's just so funny because they seem like such naturally funny yeah like but it's hard when you have all these people on your back to free yourself up to let. Well, the early days of any kind of a new talk show are so risky.

Yeah. It's like, who the fuck knows where this is going to go? Yeah. Arsenio Hall. Woo, woo, woo, woo. He was one of the only guys that figured out a way to break into that system. Right? Like George Lopez did for a little while.

Yeah. But that late night system, it's a fucking hard thing to do. It's a grind. It's a weird show because it's, everybody does a version of the same show that Jack Parr did in like 19-0. And yet, like trying to do something

completely different fails a lot of the time. Yeah, but they all have a desk. You sit at the desk. The desk sits next to them at the desk, which is a fucking holy weird way to have a conversation. Imagine if you came over a guy's house and he's above you in a desk that's an elevated desk. Like they're elevated. I know.

Everyone's elevated. But you know what's weird is like when James Corden does it, like just they're all on chairs and there's no desk and it's just leaning into each other. That's weirder. Weirder. Yeah, I don't want to see your legs. Weird. I know.

I watched it once and there was like three people on the couch together. I'm like, what the fuck is happening here? Yeah, what's going on? It's too strange. Yeah, it's weird. Well, I'm so spoiled by podcasts. I'm so spoiled by no time constraints. I'm so spoiled by podcasts. I'm so spoiled by no time constraints. I'm so spoiled by all of it.

But, you know, it's kind of, yeah, spoiled is, when Bernie was on last week, I listened to your Bernie episode. It was so good. Because I never got to hear him just breathe. Yes. To just hear him talk. talk yes he's super reasonable anybody just to hear them just go for a length of time you really get to know who they are when you're trying even in these late night shows it's just boom boom pop pop pop pop pop soundbite sound bites soundbite you don't really get a sense of who these people are it's impossible i'm sure some people listening right now wish this was tom it's a sound bite but no don't you think

like if you were on a show right now like one of those panel shows with five people on they come to you real quick and you have like 15 seconds of talk and you're worried that someone else is going to jump in and try to stomp on your punch line right which does happen if you're trying to do a show and it was like just us and our friends right it's like it's like chris d'alia was in here and brian callen was in here we were all talking like man you you you had better get something out quick there's so many other people in the room yeah this is what those debates are like it's like a condensed version that's right of a conversation and you also have an actual physical time limit like you have x amount of seconds to respond and then and then they start talking over you.

I know. Your time is up. Excuse me, Mr. Senator. Mr. Senator, your time's up. Mr. Senator. Yeah. Okay. I know.

Let him finish the sentence, you fuck. This is crazy. It's no way to really understand people. And you have to be a forceful moderator. But then when you are a forceful moderator, you're injecting yourself into this conversation. America doesn't want that. That's a good way for people to hate you you want people to hate you be a shitty moderator be a moderator on a presidential debate everybody's gonna fucking

hate you everyone's gonna hate your guts yeah it's it it's one of those weird ancient holdovers from the past that is wholly and completely unnecessary and in fact probably kind of fucking dangerous because you're you're you don't ever get a chance to see what a person's actually like you just get a chance to see their show well you also donald trump show like donald trump show i'd lock you up you'd be in jail like that kind of shit right everybody cheers and roars that's a show it's who's best at television right right right and he's a fucking television guy he's a television star than those clowns a star yes and it was like watching insulting people when he came through and was debating against the republicans in the in that run-up to in in all those debates he got up there like a comedian he was like i'm gonna talk about

i'm in the moment yes i'm gonna call everything out i'm not gonna play this bs of all your little etiquette that you've got going on and he he was a star he was a star he knows how to work it so he still does this is this biden thing that he's doing now so he's constantly making fun of biden calling him sleepy joe biden and he he shows like some misquote that biden said this is anybody something about we're here for the facts not the truth or something like that what is the crazy biden quote that he had that everybody's been making fun of listen this i say stupid shit all the time everybody does who talks a lot but if you talk a lot you're gonna jumble your words together i do it all the time of course

but if you're running for president man they find they find something like that, a jumble here, a jumble there, you better be ready to defend yourself. That's right. But that's the thing. Someone has to act the way he acts. Exactly. You've got to be in the moment. You've got to call things out.

You've got to be honest. You've got to be a comic. You've got to be a comic. Yeah. Trump, when he was running, he reminded me of the comics from Long Island. Big, loud, insult comics. Biden tells Iowans we choose truth over facts. What does that mean?

That seems like he might have wrote that. Truth over facts. I'd like to see what he said, how he said it. How did he say it? Yeah. Because he might have been like, we choose truth over facts, and that's not good. And ladies and gentlemen it's time to get up everybody knows who donald trump is even his supporters know who he is we gotta

let him know who we are we choose unity over division we choose science over fiction we choose truth over facts and so folks if you're interested join me look we all mess up a line here and there seems like a remote control with a shitty battery you know that one where you're like it's kind of getting the volume but not quite yeah kind of changes the channels you got to move it around bro he's got so little juice left in the tank i know donald trump will chew him up unless he gets a good doctor you need a good doctor he's to get on steroids immediately don't you think trump takes something for sure yeah you can't be that age and not be able you got to take something he's got billions of dollars why wouldn't he take something of course he's supposedly he has been on uh some

form of form of amphetamine prescribed by a doctor in the past that was like this that gives him the sniffles that's why he's sniffling all the time but he also could have a cold i mean he's fucking 80 years old he's the president united states i'm sure it's a fairly stressful job yeah but he um there was a journalist that was claiming that he had some sort of diet pill prescription and he even brought up the very pharmacy where he got it fulfilled right who know if it's true Who knows if it's true or not? But so many people are on Adderall today. So, so, so. Have you ever taken it? No, I have not.

I'm scared. Jamie gave me some. I threw it away. He allegedly gave me some. Allegedly. I would like to try it. Allegedly because he's not a criminal and I don't have a prescription. I imagine it's probably pretty fun to write with.

I would imagine it would kill a lot of your creativity. You think so? Yeah, because I think it would be fun to write with i would imagine it would it would kill a lot of your creativity you think so yeah because i think it would be great to organize with that's how um uh the great late great robert schimmel that's how he described it to me i loved him i loved him too um he uh he gave him my first starbucks ever did he really wow you guys are on the road together or something yeah we were in new jersey and i no, you know, I stopped drinking milk and stuff. He's like, come on, come on, come on. He was always a sweet guy. I miss him really bad.

Oh, he was so funny. He was a great person, too. Oh, so sweet. Yeah. Super nice. Fucking hilarious. So funny. Fucking hilarious.

You ever hear his Siegfried and Roy joke? Yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. This shit ends tonight oh my god but um he had a heart condition right you know that yeah and he accidentally took an adderall once uh-huh um he thought he was taking some other medication i forget what he accidentally took the adderall and he goes i fucking freaked out i called my doctor i'm I'm like, hey, tell me what the milligrams is, how much you take.

So I took one of these. He said, don't worry about it. But you're going to be wide awake for the next 12 hours. Wow. It's not going to kill you. It's not that bad. You're not dying. And he goes, I went over all my notes.

And he goes, I started organizing things. That's what I've heard from people when they take Adderall. It makes them want to organize shit. Oh. Which is weird. but not create necessarily if you give me speed i'm gonna want to go run up a hill or something i'm gonna want to do something stupid sit at your desk i'm not gonna want to organize i'm gonna be like yeah your heart would explode i just imagine if i'm if i'm on some kind of speed i'm gonna want to do something stupid yeah you know i always have yeah you want to be physical yeah if i drink coffee if i drink too much coffee i just start jumping up and down

i'm like fuck you i've been drinking a ketone aid with coffee with uh caffeine in it i forget who makes it it's like this little drink uh-huh um one of the ketone companies that sends me shit oh there's a bunch of keto companies. They'll send you. They'll send you stuff. Like, hey, try our stuff. Yeah, yeah. I apologize to the company, but they make this shit that has caffeine and ketones together. Oh.

It's fucking wonderful before exercise. You're grinding your teeth just talking about it. It makes you want to go crazy. You want to do a real good weightlifting exercise. Right. It's good. Just good at this stuff. I just stuff i don't know caffeine's good to work out on fuck yeah yeah it's great for lifting it opens you up yeah opens up the vessels yeah it makes you shit your brains out though you got to be careful well that's the fun correctly right there's nothing worse than when i go for a run and a half mile in you're like uh- uh-oh. Called Ketonade?

Probably. Yeah, Ben Greenfield, I think. Oh, is that it? Yeah, there's a somewhere. Is it his company? I'm looking. I mean. He's probably just involved with them.

I looked it up on Amazon. No, that's not the same stuff. You're there. No, it looks different. Okay. But I think he's giving me some of that, too. I think it's very similar. Does that have caffeine in it?

You still eat that way predominantly? No. No? Oh, really? No, it's too rigid, and that have caffeine in it? You still eat that way predominantly? No. No? No. Oh, really? No, it's too rigid, and I wasn't enjoying it as much, but I do eat a very low-carb, high-protein, high-fat diet. That's your balance.

Yeah, but I fuck off. I'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if I want one. We're going to have so much fun at Musso and Frank's. Woo! I'm enjoying it. But I will eat cream of corn and stuff like that. Oh, yeah? But it's like for me

i try to think of it as an 80 20 thing i eat 80 super healthy and 20 i allow myself questionable choices that's good yeah not not like sugar yeah i mean that's not processed yeah but not like 20 dessert you know what i mean right there's not 20 of my diet's not ice cream or candy or something like that no i might have spaghetti with clams. Right, right. You know what I mean? Bread. Yeah, which is not the good food.

Right. Vegetables, meat. That's what I mostly eat. Vegetables, meat. No fruit? Yeah, I have fruit, sure. In the mornings? Mornings.

Yeah. Usually before a first workout. I like fruit. It hydrates you. Yeah. It's easy, too. It's easy on your body, and you can work out on fruit with no problems at all. Right, right.

I could run hills with a couple peaches in me. Right. It's not going to make me sick. How great are peaches right now? I love peaches. Right now. I love peaches. Peaches are, ugh.

How did Georgia get so connected with peaches? Think about that shit. Right? If you think about peaches, you think about Georgia. Yeah. This is my goddamn, maybe Hawaii and coconuts, but no. Yeah. Right? It's Georgia and peaches. Georgia and peanuts. Oh,'s a goddamn this maybe hawaii and coconuts but no yeah right it's georgia and georgia and peanuts oh that's jimmy carter right yeah but what other florida oranges i guess florida oranges but i think georgia wisconsin cheese oh yeah for sure yeah yeah but that's like dairy yeah that's a process it's not food you're making like but a

fruit that grows in jersey tomatoes yeah that's like if you were making. But a fruit that grows in- Jersey tomatoes? Yeah, that's like if you were playing Family Feud, that'd be like, you said Jersey tomatoes. Let me see tomatoes. Survey says. Survey says. I'm still doing the voice from the Hogan's Heroes guy as Family Feud.

I don't know if you just noticed that. The Dawson, Richard Dawson. He Family Feud. I don't know if you just noticed that. The Dawson? Richard Dawson? He's the original. I stick with him. You don't go Steve Harvey? Nope. Well, there was a guy in between him and Steve Harvey.

A guy who committed suicide. Louis Anderson. No, there was a guy who killed himself. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yes. Remember that guy? Yes.

Yeah. Dead on the feud. Yeah. What did he do? Did he die while he was hosting it, or did he quit and then kill himself? I don't remember. He hung himself, though, right? Yeah, I think so.

He was the host of Family Feud, right? Yeah. Yeah, but I think he had... I think it was... Was he the second host? I think it was over. Ray Combs? Ray Combs, that's right. Ray Combs. He was the second host, correct? Probably couldn't live up to the shadow of Richard Dawkins. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the guy. Man. He looked sappy. Tell me that couldn't be a great movie, right? There's something about that gig. That smile. Go back to that first picture with his hands up in the air. I could see.

I could play that role. I could see you playing that role. I was going to go with Steve Carell, but yes. yes he's not available i'm trying to make some money here but if you had like a crazy movie about a guy like do you remember that movie they did about hogan's heroes guy about the the lead of hogan's heroes now the. The guy who was with Richard Dawkins on Hogan's Heroes. One of the guys who was with it, what the fuck was his name?

There was a movie called... Not the gong show. The gong show one. The movie's called Autofocus. Autofocus, right. With Willem Dafoe. Yes. Willem Dafoe was one guy,

but then there was another guy who played the Hogan's Heroes guy. What the fuck's his name? Bob... God. Oh, yes. Yeah. Bob Crane. Bob Crane. the Hogan's Heroes guy. What the fuck's his name? Bob. God. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Bob Crane. Bob Crane. Bob Crane. Thank you. Bob Crane. Wasn't that Greg Kinnear? Yes. Right. Yes.

Yeah. Right. Greg Kinnear was excellent. Yeah. He had a real porn habit, right? He would make porn, and he would make it with Willem Dafoe. Apparently, they would be filming girls and then they think the willem dafoe character killed him but i don't think they ever solved the crime ah

really i think it was one of those murders where they never totally solved the crime is that true i'm matching two movies up because greg kinnear also played chuck barris from the gong show who did he was in the cia yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that was um you didn't know sessions of a dangerous mind was that it something like that wasn't him though god wasn't that him who the fuck remembers anything i have too much data in my stupid head with sam rockwell sam rockwell that wasn't canary right right. You know what's an amazing Sam Rockwell movie? The Moon. The Moon.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's the whole movie. So good. I'm telling you folks, this is all I'm going to tell you. But all I'm going to tell you is it's only Sam Rockwell for a whole hour and a half, and it's fucking amazing. I saw that in the theater in New York.

So good. Yeah. Is there even another actor? Is there one other actor in the movie? Maybe? I think you're right. Maybe one. I think halfway through or something, someone shows up.

I don't want to sell it anymore. It's good. It's fucking great. It's a fucking great movie. He's such a good actor. Did you watch Fosse-Verdon? He played Bob Fosse. It was on FX.

No. Was it a TV show? Yeah. About Bob Fosse. You know, the choreographer? Uh-huh. And his wife? I like how you did that.

Verdun? I like how you did that. Verdon? Just like Chicago? You did a version of Jazz Hands. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah, he's really good in it. He's a great actor, man. Yeah, he's really good.

He was dating Leslie Bibb. When Leslie Bibb, I did a movie with Kevin James, and Leslie Bibb was playing Kevin James' girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend. We were competing for her love, and I got to meet that same rock. What was the movie? It was called Zookeeper. Oh, yeah. It's a cute kids movie.

Yeah, yeah. It's adorable. I love everything Kevin James does. He just makes me laugh. He's a great guy, too. Yeah. Mall cops, come on. He just makes me laugh He's a great guy too

Yeah Mall cops Come on Yeah he's I mean Are there modern Pratt fall type Super physical comedians

In movies today I know Like who is He might be the last Yeah He was very athletic He was very Light on his feet

Oh he was a martial artist Is he He's very talented Oh really Yeah he's very good I heard he was really good At basketball Really Yeah I believe that I mean he eats a martial artist. Is he? He's very talented. Oh, really? Yeah, he's very good. I heard he was really good at basketball. Really? Yeah.

I believe that. I mean, he eats a lot, for sure. He would not be denying that, but his martial arts technique is excellent. Really? Yeah, he's got serious power. He's got really good punches, really good kicks. Wow. Yeah, he had a bunch of different styles of martial arts that he trained when he was coming up.

Oh, interesting. Some of it, I think some of it was Kung Fu. Some of it was Karate. But he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's doing. He played a mixed martial artist in that movie, Here Comes the Boom. Right, right. Yeah, he played a guy who was like a high school coach that was trying to raise money for his school.

So he had some UFC fights. He's physically just so funny. He is funny. I remember the comic strip early on, watching him. I think he was famous already, but he had a bit about picking out greeting cards, being in front of the greeting card aisle. Yes, yes. Right? And he would pick them all out, and and just physically yeah without a word at times

just looking at the cards so damn funny he had a one of my favorite bits ever about it was back in the day when you had automatic locks on a car and when someone would try to open the door while you were hitting unlock they would cancel each other out so he had this whole super frustrated bit about his girlfriend reaching for the door and you know and it won't and he keeps canceling out and he's getting more and more frustrated it's no i mean so many moments of that in kings king of queens oh yeah just all of his like physical just frustration yeah but like physical guys like um if you really stop and think about there's so few like chrisley, of course, was a giant physical talent. Yeah.

He was very Ralph Cramden in that way. Jackie Gleason, a big guy, but very graceful. Yeah. But, like, he was like an accelerated version, right? Yeah, yeah. Of, like, John Belushi. Like, a larger, bigger, more spastic, more crazy. Yeah.

I mean, he would fucking get sweaty and scream. Right. Whereas Belushi was like really physical too, but it didn't get to that thing. No, his was raw. He was a different thing. Like Farley is more in that Kevin James kind of lightness. You know what Belushi had? Belushi had like this weird hilarious feeling

of danger yeah like he was dangerous but it was funny like an animal house right he was dangerous it was reckless it was rock and roll it was like off kilter yes like when he smashed that guy's guitar when he was playing songs yeah yeah there's danger from him and like yeah blues brothers yes yes it was dangerous right yeah that off kilter kind of thing no kevin james farley they had a sweetness yeah it wasn't danger it was it was energetic but always you weren't in danger but here's a question like i'm sure someone could do that belushi thing without drugs oh Oh, yeah. I'm sure.

But no one has. No. So, here's my point. Why am I so sure that someone can do it without drugs? Yeah. Is that just being cocky?

I don't know. It's like, hey man, you don't need vitamins. Just eat bread and lift weights yeah no you need vitamins but what was that was fueled by yeah that was cocaine right that was cocaine probably yeah a lot of it but i think he was doing speed balls right so he's doing cocaine and heroin oh man that's how he died yeah that's how river phoenix died too marmont yeah i don't know i don't know that's one of the things about like great wild people

who's a who's a who's really wild now like that nobody really right nobody that we want to throw under the bus but yeah like cocaine wildness doesn't like Or just like that reckless danger. I guess What's-His-Name has a little of it in his acting. Who? Tom. Tom Hardy? Yeah. Yeah, he's pretty reckless.

He's got that kind of thing. I mean, he did two movies. He did Dunkirk and Batman with his face completely covered. And he still was able to emote danger. And he was just able to express so much with half of his face. Yeah. That guy's pretty serious. He's a bad motherfucker.

Yeah, for sure. He was even good in that movie Warrior. You ever see that movie Warrior? Is that when he played two characters? No. He played a fighter. Him and Warrior. You ever see that movie Warrior? Is that when he played two characters? No. He played a fighter. Him and his brother, it was an MMA movie. They wound up fighting.

I didn't see that one. Nick Nolte's in it. Nick Nolte has this incredible performance. Nick Nolte completely steals the movie. As this guy's alcoholic father, who was a formerly trained both of them that's a wild man it's it's he's so good you forget how goddamn good good nick nolte is like whether or not it's drug fueled or not there is something to actors who have some manic part to their personality that the camera that they can harness yeah but still so, but still it's not bullshit when they film it.

You know what I mean? Who's that guy on the left? It doesn't come off as fake. And like Nolte. Venom. Mickey Rourke. Oh, it's him from different movies. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah, Venom, Warrior, and then Bronson, I think. Yeah, Bronson was like his first big break. Have you seen the pictures of him playing Capone? But the Warrior one, look at the one in the middle. That's what's crazy. Dude, he got fucking jacked. Yeah. When you see him in the movie, I mean, he looks like a professional fighter.

Yeah. I mean, there's no ifs, ands, or buts. No. I mean, he really does. He looks like a guy who could fight in the UFC physically. He got his body into that form. That's hard to do, man. Didn't Hanks get diabetes from going up and down so much?

Who? Tommy Hanks? Tommy Hanks went up and down in weight? Yeah. How dare you compare Tom Hanks to Tom Hardy, first of all? You fuck. Look at what Tom Hardy did to his fucking body. Tom Hanks never done that.

No, he didn't. There's not a fucking chance in this world. No, he did the other thing. He got real big and fat. Do you know who else did that? But like Castaway, he was really scrawny and then he was like a regular dude. Maybe he fucked his body over starving himself to death. Jamie, is there a picture of Hardy as Al Capone that's coming out?

Is that not it? Yeah, it's not a great shot. Yeah. Do you know who else did that for a movie who got super jacked in kind of a crazy way? Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, wow. Look at that. Look at fucking Al Pacino.

Dick Tracy villain. Yeah. Wow. Oh, they're saying he looks like a Dick Tracy villain. They're saying he looks like a Dick Tracy villain. They're making fun of him. They're making fun of him. That's Al Pacino.

Yeah. Al Capone. That's a bad shot looks like a Dick Tracy movie. They're saying he looks like a Dick Tracy movie. They're making fun of him. They're making fun of him. That's Al Pacino. Yeah. Al Capone. That's a bad shot. That's Dick Tracy. That's Al Pacino playing a Dick Tracy character, right? Yeah. He's playing Al Capone and Dick Tracy. Oh, that's what it was.

Same character. Okay. Different movies. Right. Google Jake Lillenhall. It's pronounced K-R-L-L-H-A-L. Google that guy from the movie Southpaw. The movie Southpaw. The movie Southpaw.

He was fucking jacked, bro. He played a boxer. I mean, fucking shredded. Jeez. Dude, look at that. I mean, he looks like Andre Ward in his prime. I mean, that's how shredded he is. Oh, my God.

He looks like Roy Jones Jr. almost. He doesn't look like him at all. Bro, he is so shredded. But how much of that is 3D animation? Oh, yeah God. He looks like Roy Jones Jr. almost. He doesn't look like him at all. Bro, he's so shredded. But how much of that is 3D animation? Oh, yeah? Yes. You just take steroids and... Fuck yeah.

I mean, maybe they 3D animated him. It's possible. But he looks so good. Wow. I mean, well, maybe we should Google that. Okay, why don't you go back to that picture? Jeez. Go back to the picture you just had?

How did Jake Gyllenhaal get so ripped? Okay. The manly man blog. Click on that shit. He worked out a lot, I think. Yeah. I think he probably took some Mexican supplements and worked out like a motherfucker. But either way, there's no way you get that ripped without insane work.

Insane. Because all steroids- You're just doing it all the time. Right. All steroids are doing is helping you recover makes you recover you'll develop more muscle quicker because but you have to break down the muscle for the muscle to grow so you have to go through the workouts but doesn't it stimulate the growth of it yes but you can't be lazy and have that body right it is fucking

impossible right says for five months long he'd been working out twice a day even on sundays his workout regime was about four to six hours a day. He started training as a fighter, sparring with real opponents and taking in some real punches. His boxing workout consisted of all the things that a boxer would do, shadow boxing, heavy bag, speedball, sparring, focus pads, double end rounds. He says, I was sparring and really getting hit. It helped me understand the sacrifice it takes to be a fighter. You can't play a boxer and just look like a boxer. You have to believe that you can exist in that world.

Well, he did. That's a good actor. He's an amazing actor. But he has always been an amazing actor. No, he's really good. He's great in everything. I know. There was something recently I just saw he was in.

I forget. Brokeback Mountain. No. Stop playing games. That's what you were watching Alright He didn't gave a He's

That's a rare person That can do that I don't care what he was taking Yeah I don't care If you're working out Six hours a day There is not a fucking drug

In the world That gets you that discipline Right You have to do that Right You have to do that yourself You have to force yourself It's mostly willpower Well I'm pals with uh with um jason bourne and he jason bourne's not a real

person it's not i'm sorry what who do you think jason bourne is he's a character in a movie no he's a he works for the government wait how do you say i'm pals with a from born identity yeah why don't you say i'm pals with No. He works for the government. Wait. How do you say I'm pals with a... From Bourne Identity? Yeah, why don't you say I'm pals with Superman? Makes just as much sense. Jason Bourne's not a real person. Wait, what?

Who are you saying you're friends with? Jason Bourne. He's... Matt Damon? Are you friends with Matt Damon? Oh, yeah. Okay. oh he's if you see matt damon matt damon oh yeah okay matt damon was at the improv the other night he was yeah i didn't get a chance to say hi if he hears this hi matt damon yeah i love that guy i'm very impressed with him he's great he seems like a really interesting person too it's like he's very very wise person he is he's very smart and he but watching him for the last born movie he knows how to fight yeah he's got a great trainer

matt beamonte oh look at him who like worked with it with his name he must be legit angelo dundee and i really yeah this he's legit he's a great guy and uh but watching the two of them train all the time and it was like when he dials in it's like that's their life well you can tell when you watch someone doing something in a movie whether or not they put the time in right keanu reeves and john wick right that motherfucker put in the time i'm buying everything hook line and sinker right i'm buying him kicking people's asses i'm buying him shooting people he shoots guns like a guy who's been tactically trained like a guy's a real assassin i buy every fucking second yeah even though it's cartoonish and over the top

and crazy sure but you can tell yeah when he can't fake that stuff flips them on their head and breaks their arm and stomps their head and then shoots them when they're down i'm i'm in yeah yeah he did it he did it right it's legit that's why i do more comedic roles. That's a good move, dude. Way less pounding on the joints. Those fucking, when you, like my friend Tate, Tate Fletcher. Yeah. He just got a concussion from doing a scene in a movie where he was doing some stunt work. Because Tate does a lot of acting, but he also does a lot of stunt work, too. Uh-huh.

And he hit his head. Oof. And hurt it real bad, you know? And, like, he's of stunt work, too. Uh-huh. And he hit his head. Oof. And hurt it real bad. And he's real light sensitive right now. Oh, man. And he's taking CBD. Yeah. And Tate had a career as a fighter as well.

Yeah. So he fought in the UFC. He had quite a few professional fights. And a lot of sparring in between the professional fights. A lot of sparring rounds. So he's kind of sensitive to getting hit in the head anyway he doesn't want to get hit in the head anymore right for him to fall like on the set oof what like that that world of like a stunt man like we're talking about gene labelle yeah brad pitt character those are the toughest fucking people oh man come on toughest animals it's a hard way to make a living man

you're always falling out of the back of trucks and wrecking motorcycles on purpose. Yeah, exactly. I wonder if the number of stuntmen has gone down since animation 3D stuff has started. That's interesting. Has improved. I bet there's a lot less of it. I bet you're right. Right?

But for some things, you need a stunt person. Yeah. You need someone also to tell you like those guys are so wild though like we had stunt guys that developed a lot of the uh events on fear factor they developed a lot of them like a lot of times what would happen was like the producers would come to the stuntman and the stuntman and they would say hey this is what we want to do we want to take a helicopter and throw someone off in a fucking bungee cord in between these two mountains like can we do this without killing anybody yeah and then the stunt guys has to look at it and say

okay let me see how we can make this so that no one dies right but they are willing to take so much more risk than a regular person like their idea of like you getting hurt right they're not worried about getting hurt like a normal person right no that's like alex honnold right the guy doesn't he really doesn't have fear no no no no he's that's different is person right no that's like alex honnold right the guy doesn't he really doesn't have fear no no no no he's that's different is it yeah yeah that's different because the stuntman if that would be if alex honnold was telling you you can climb that wall right because he's doing it himself yeah he knows he's really good at it the thing about the stunt guys is the stunt guys look they're not trying to get anybody hurt, but they're

not worried about getting hurt themselves. Their idea of getting hurt is slightly different than a regular person's because they're just so fucking tough. Yeah. And they're used to doing it. They're used to jumping off fucking horses and shit. Yeah. So we had this one event where they were making the contestants ride bulls.

And there was only two times in the history of that show where I was like, don't do this. Don't do this. And that was a big one. And I was like, you guys are crazy. These are bulls. And this is really what he said to me, the stunt guy said. He goes, oh, don't worry about it, boo. These are stunt bulls.

I go, they're stunt bulls. He goes, yeah, they're less aggressive. I go, does that bull know he's a stunt bull? I bet he thinks he's a bull. i bet he thinks he's a bull i bet he thinks he's a bull and i bet he's not gonna like the fact that all these fucking people are riding him because you're having like eight people ride him or i don't know it's like six six people right if i wasn't a stunt stunt bull i'd be so pissed right now dude he that bull launched these people through the fucking air launched them the way you would shake a tennis ball off your forehand.

If you had a tennis ball in your hand, you would just do like that. It would go flying. That's what those people did with these. That's what the bull did with these people. Jeez. Literally. Did anyone get hurt? He took a ball and just underhanded it.

People would fly. Did anyone get really hurt in the taping of that show at all? No. Not once. That is, come on, seven. That's what that was. Right. It was a lot of

that for sure with the the bull one because the bull one that the bull kicked in the air and was just barely missing people's heads dude i was watching i was like this is fucking i told everyone to not do it i was like don't do it the people like well i want to i want to get that 50 grand i go listen to me man i get i get what you're saying but this is not the time for you you weigh 98 pounds this is a the time for you you weigh 98 pounds this is a fucking there's another way to get this money it just seems like a way to get injured for the rest of your life what about the uh uh mark walberg you see all his videos how he gets up at 2 30 and goes into the gym you ever see his instagram i have not i did see a thing

with him and james corden though oh yeah where james tried to do the workouts with him oh really yeah he brought they went over to marky mark's basement yeah they worked out together but he keeps posting like he gets up at 2 30 they're in the gym in the gym at three and then he goes to bed at seven o'clock and but because he's up at two and he's well it's obviously working for him super disciplined guy yeah and he's in great shape but uh james corden tried to do the workout with him it's pretty funny he's got he's got a gym in his house it's like a like a gym gym oh yeah going to the gym but that's his whole house so like his this section of his house where the gym is is epic so you know they had all these crazy workouts they were doing wow well i guess if those are the roles that you're yeah he's always doing gotta do it badasses yeah yeah he's

always doing like he played uh mickey ward in that movie the fighter remember that yeah yeah he's got it so he's doing those action roles yeah but you know you could sleep in too still work out at 10 yeah why do you have to be in the 2 30 in the morning i'm not i'm not that's not healthy for you the only thing that's big about that is that you know that you are getting up early you know like my friend jaco he gets up every day at 4 30 in the morning and his entire instagram his photos of his watch at 430 in the morning and then crazy workouts that he's doing or shooting his bow or he's doing jiu-jitsu. When do you wake up? I usually wake up around 7 or 8.

7 or 8. Yeah, that's healthy. I like to do different things early in the morning. I like to take yoga some mornings. I like to lift weights some mornings. I don't generally like to do jiu-jitsu at 8 in the morning. I like to do jiu-jitsu around noon. Right. I like to wake upjitsu around noon right to wake up right i like to eat something too because it's so ruthless yeah i don't want to be hungry right class i want to be like if that right hydrated and fueled like two hours after a

workout after a meal that's why you want to go into something like that but like something where i can just push myself and i don't worry about being strangled like yeah kettlebells or something i'll do a brutal kettlebell workout first thing in the morning i'll just have like a caffeine drink right maybe a couple pieces of fruit and just go yeah that's good now you you do spots late at night so do you shut it down at some point during the day do you nap no no no. No. No. You never nap? No. No. I don't think I need it.

Interesting. I don't feel it ever helps. Right. Yeah, I'd rather power through. Right. But I get it if you need it, if I felt like I needed it. Like, I definitely took a bunch of naps when I got back from Italy because I was whacked out. Because of the time change?

Yeah. It fucked me up, man. I would sleep for like three hours and then I would wake up and I'd be like, why am I wide awake? Right. It's two in the morning. This is so stupid.

And then I would be up and then I'd get really sleepy around six. I'd try to sleep for an hour before I had to wake up. Then I woke up again and then I would take a nap in the afternoon. Right. It took like a good four or five days

before that leveled out and I started sleeping on a normal schedule. Wow. but you work out so much you don't you're burning energy like usually when you're really in shape you don't need naps but you should use tm for your for your brain yeah that sounds like i should do it why don't just give me a mantra why don't you come up with a mantra for me why don't you become my instructor you've been doing it long enough i don't want to go to some other dude. Diaz. Just Diaz?

Yeah. Which one? Nick or Joey? How about Nate? Nate. Nate Diaz? No, Joey. Joey?

Joey Diaz? Just think Joey Diaz? Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz. You could just do it. You could just create a, just use om. I mean, I don't understand why. Yeah, why do you have a mantra?

Yeah. Tell us your mantra, bro. I can't. Wow. just create a just use om i mean i don't understand why yeah why do you have a mantra yeah what tell us your mantra i can't come on i can't i'm not allowed they'll come and get me that's so not true huh that's so not true no they won't come and get me but it's kind of a personal thing because it has no meaning if i say it then you're going to say something back now there's something attached to it that's why you don't say it oh okay you know what i mean it's a pure word it's just a pure sound that has no mental attachments to it in the earliest days of religion wasn't it a problem if you said God's name? Aren't there like certain sects of religion that don't think that you should say God's name? Like whatever God's name is, whatever it's Yeshua or whatever it is, whatever the name of God is.

Why am I trying to remember this? Sounds like a Jordan Peterson thing. Yeah, he would know. He would know the answer to it. Yeah. Well, obviously. Well, obviously. I like the way he says obviously. That's pretty good.

That's very Canadian. You might be a Canadian spy. Well, obviously. You can't... How do you say? You can't talk about the name without it coming back at you, obviously. It's pretty good, right? He's one of the most misinterpreted guys I think I've ever met.

Not just willfully misinterpreted, where people take the words and the things that he's saying yeah willfully misconstrue them they they purposefully change what he's saying to make it more offensive more unreasonable people are angry why well it's hard to say i think part of it has to do with the way he initially came onto the scene oh because of the transgender thing? Yes. He was very concerned that they were forcing people to use certain language, new pronouns. And people were saying, like, why do you have a problem with people's pronouns?

And he's saying, that's not what I'm saying. The problem is not whether or not I would have a problem with someone's pronouns. The problem is being legally compelled to use these new words that someone's inventing. He's like, I am not doing this. Right. The government telling me how I can speak. Exactly.

Not just that. The government also being influenced by people who want you to be legally compelled to say their pronouns. They're pronouns. It's a slippery slope of control more than it is a thing of culture or of morals or compassion or being progressive. He's not of that he thinks are horribly damaging and dangerous if implemented on a large scale like if you allow large groups of people to control language and to to legally compel people to say these new words you're inventing right this is not good this is a bad path for humans right just historically it's a bad path right and so that's how he broke onto the scene.

And in that time period, all these people who opposed what he was saying, they were labeling him as transphobic. They were labeling him as homophobic. All these different things that are not true. Then he gets connected to this Pepe the Frog thing, right? Because he thinks it's kind of hilarious that the internet has taken on pepe the frog as like this meme the feels good man frog now gets you didn't know the whole thing wow where you been living man you stop meditating read the fucking newspaper i didn't know any of this i didn't know pepe the frog is racist no okay this is serious okay you

have to know this because if somebody wants you to take a picture with this fucking Peppy the Frog thing, there are a certain group of people out there who will decide Tom Papa is some sort of alt-white, white nationalist, white supremacist Nazi person. What? No bullshit. A fucking frog. A frog? Yeah. You know why?

Why? Because some people have used that frog in a negative way. Most people use that frog as a joke. Like, it feels bad, man. And the frog is like, hmm. It's an animated thing? Just a frog. A cartoon of a frog.

Okay. But the alt-right, or I shouldn't even say the alt-right, people on internet forums would constantly and consistently use that frog as a joke about everything. Like they had Donald Trump's hair on that frog. But it's more humor and mocking and making fun of things. And as the British would say, taking the piss. He's taking the piss with the frog. But there were a few that would have the frog with like a swastika armband and a fucking

Nazi hat on. Sure. Why? Because they're internet people. Right. Like, if you leave something on the internet- Eventually. Long enough, someone's going to put a Nazi flag on it.

Yeah. It doesn't mean that it's a symbol of Nazis or that it's a symbol of white supremacy, because that's not what it was. Right. And so he dared logically argue this. And people were very, very upset.. And so he dared logically argue this. Oh. And people were very, very upset. And they thought he was defending...

Yes. He's defending white nationalists. Oh, God. Like he's saying, no, no, no, it's a fucking cartoon frog, guys. And it's not only that, it's a cartoon frog written by a guy

who specifically sued people to get them to stop using the cartoon flag. Oh. Even Alex Jones had to pay out a lawsuit because InfoWars used an image of that cartoon flag can you see if that's true i'm pretty sure that's true but it was a nominal amount it was only like he lost it in corporate it was like a very small fifteen thousand dollars right to pay for alex that's not a lot of money settlement it's a settlement so i'm sure he paid way more in legal

fees right deal with something like that i'm sure if they had to put together some sort of a defense for fifteen thousand dollars i'm sure that probably cost a shitload of money but the point is that this frog has like all these different meanings so as soon as it gets connected though to an awful thing yeah then immediately like you got to go okay well you can never use that frog again right now the frog's corrupted now given what we know and here's where it gets really weird given what we know about the internet and specifically foreign influence on memes sure like russia yeah there was factories that were making funny memes about hillary cl Right. Funny memes about all kinds of things. Yeah.

And doing so in order to get people upset or to laugh or to mock certain ideas and push the narrative one way or another through humor. And they made some really funny ones. There was a woman named Renee DiResta. She came on the podcast. She was explaining. For a project, she had to go through hundreds of thousands of these things. Oh, wow.

She's like, some of them were really funny. Right. And these were ones that they know were made by Russians. Right. And they were made to try to get people upset about certain things. Jeez. How many of those Pepe the Frog things came from that? Right.

How many? Right. Because if you had a frog that was mocking everybody, and the like was a really good symbol to make someone think that you're a fool so like you say something ridiculous and you're trying to push for something right and then that frog is in a meme with you what you're saying but he looks like an idiot right all of a sudden you look like an idiot right and the frog's mocking you like you can't beat the frog right but you can turn the frog into a nazi right so then when you turn the frog into a nazi right then when you turn the frog into a nazi anybody uses the frog is now a nazi yeah so he got caught up in this yeah he took a photo with these guys and he's talked about pepe the frog um on my podcast talked about explained the whole

thing to me right depth and yet i've seen articles connecting him to white nationalists because there's a photo of him with the frog. Jeez Louise. Pull up photo of Jordan Peterson with Pepe the frog. Because he took a photo with these guys where they had like a frog flag. And he thought it as what we're just saying. That there's these guys that are taking the piss. It's like a Flat Stanley or something. Exactly.

Right? He thought it's like an innocent. A man's internet version of flat stanley and it's primarily a 4chan thing right really jamie knows this shit more than i do honestly there he is so see he's standing there with these guys these two fellas are holding up this uh pepe the frog flag and jordan's laughing and smiling with them and one of them has a i think it's a make america great again hat on look these kids are human trolls they're alive think of a troll on the internet yeah and then think of one that thinks it's hilarious to be out there in public trolling with pepe the frog flag and a make america great again hat oh my god he's fucking with people right this is what this

is yeah this is obviously it's a lot of what internet culture trapped yeah he jordan understands this and talks about it and discusses it in length and he makes it make sense right so that's one other reason why people are upset at him yeah yeah yeah and it's it's just very easy to label people in certain ways today it's very easy to label someone as a misogynist. Right. No, I know. But if you listen to the breadth of his work, this is not a bad person. He's a very good person.

Very enlightening. Like, there's a lot of, like, real practical ways to, you know, as he says, clean up your room and live right. Well, he's a personal friend of mine. I like him very much well obviously you you you uh how do you how do you say you you you think about these things you're trying to you're trying to to have you know what you're trying to have a conversation it shows how actually articulate he is because you can't come up with things that he would say that make sense well i know it's hard right there's no catchphrase for him yeah well obviously clean up your damn room clean up your damn room that's the only he's got a lot of great advice he's also a very very

insightful person what about all of his he's not a bad guy at all no it's just people have this horrible thing that they do today where and when they want to dismiss someone instead of instead of listening to them instead of listening to them and debating the points that they have or analyzing them in an objective kind way they try to attack everybody's attacking everything sucks everybody sucks everybody's stupid everybody's racist everybody's Everybody's dumb. Everybody's ridiculous. Everybody's a liar. Everybody's shit. You're not on my team.

You're on someone else's team. There's just so much of that today. There's so much. It's unnecessary. I really enjoy listening to him. I enjoy all those biblical speeches that he gives about trying to interpret the Old Testament and stuff like that. It's very, very interesting.

It's very, I've never heard somebody connect our practical trying to find our way through the woods to those writings. Like, you always just heard of it as growing up as a Catholic kid. You just kind of heard them as like, they're stories and they're obviously, you know, they're metaphors and whatever. But I never heard somebody really say, no, it's how you treat your father and the way you're trying to figure out your way through life that's what these things mean like you know yeah he is a it's a very fascinating listen yeah he's got a very unusual way of um interpreting biblical

verses and stories from the Bible, stories from other religions as well, and how it sort of interfaces with man's search for meaning. Pete Right. Yeah, exactly. It's like a practical way to kind of approach the world. In a time when we have nothing to hang on to, it's kind of interesting stuff to think about. Yeah, and that's one of the reasons why some people think that it survived

as long as it has, that there is some merit in using it as a framework for living your life. Yeah. There's like some practice, like we were saying earlier, of having some kind of a guidebook to get you through life, like even just in the etiquette manner stuff. It's also the big stuff. It's like, you know, I had a friend whose father passed away.

And it's like, it's a hard thing when you don't have a framework, a guidebook to help you deal with that and get through the woods. And you're just kind of out there on your own. Right. They're just gone. It's very difficult. They're not in heaven. Right. your own. It's very difficult. Right, they're just gone, they're not in heaven. Right, you know, and I'm watching my grandparents, my two grandmothers who went to church all the

time, and they didn't muddy themselves with whether or not this was the answer, but it gave them structure, and it gave them, okay, so the neighbor died and we go to the church and we go to the wake and we go to the thing and then we have cake and then we sit and pay visit to his widower, to the widow, you know, the next week. Like, these things, these roots, these pathways made them very happy people. Yeah. It wasn't like kind of overthinking, well, is the church bullshit? They didn't care about that. They didn't get into maybe it is, maybe it not is it out is it all the answers they didn't get that far they just got this is how you deal with this funeral of your neighbor yeah you know what

i mean there's like that practical little guidebook stuff that uh we kind of lack right now like wild west christianity right one of the things about wild west films maybe it's accurate maybe it's not but one of the things that i always enjoyed is simplistic way that they interface with the world the way they discuss the way things are well i guess we're just gonna have to go do that then there wasn't a lot of hemming and hawing and everybody just got stuff done yeah and they had that sort of pioneer mentality, right? Like they were rough folks. So if they were talking about Jesus

and what a good, God-fearing Christian would do, they had a very clear and distinct framework for where they would operate. They played by those rules. Yeah, I'm a good Christian. So this is how I feel. And you'd be like, wow, the simplicity and ruggedness of this guy's vision.

Yeah, yeah. And then, you like, wow, the simplicity and ruggedness of this guy's vision. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, is it corrupted by people? Yeah. Is it, you know, do they use that to go attack some Native Americans? What's hotter than a pioneer woman who's hot? Ooh. Like a pioneer type woman who's actually hot, who like do chores and shit works hard yeah you know

what i mean like she's surviving like you're out there both of you clawing and scratching she's hot as fuck though hot as fuck but yet a pioneer woman something sexy as fuck about that right it's a good one yeah that's a good one and they had those big fluffy things they wore on their legs under the dresses yeah like fucking robbers are trying to take over the wagons just shooting at them yeah some dudes with masks on like the first season of westworld yeah like that girl i got your paw that's right that girl from westworld hot as fuck yeah she's so hot there she is god damn dude that's the perfect world that's the perfect woman a really really hot badass

western chick what is that woman's name again she's really good too i don't think that she'd whatever her name is as an actress what's her name as an actress would she like an la comedian though um what's that would she like an la comedian or she comedian? Only a bald one who makes bread. Evan Rachel Wood. She's hot. She's not just hot. She's a really good actor. Yeah. She's really good.

Like, you believe she's a struggling robot trying to figure out if she's real or not and trying to figure out what these memories that she has are. But she's also hot as the sun. She is beautiful. Baby. She's not just beautiful. she's a very specific kind of beautiful right like an uncorrupted beauty right she ain't like a hoe right she's not out there with like yeah you know her ass sticking out like washing a car she's hot she has dignity yeah well

she's a robot she's a robot but don't show that one that's not a good picture of her get one of her when she's in a dress someone has a very personal relationship with shut your mouth bro she's my hot robot friend if robots were that close to people yeah like if you could actually make love to a robot that west world concept the freakiest part of that is that they fuck these things and kill these things right not that these things become sentient they realize it and they try to escape the park spoiler alert do they feel like they've got skin like it feels like a person you can't distinguish they don't even know

sometimes if they're robots how about that that's how good it is that's pretty great i think that i'd have sex with a robot fuck yeah you would yeah you'd probably have sex with a balloon i was gonna say there's not much i wouldn't probably a lot of stuff it's just a matter of like what if someone said if you don't have sex with this thing your whole family dies you'd have sex with it i hate when someone says oh i would never fuck a pineapple yes you would your life depended on it someone had a gun to your fucking head and said yeah you fuck that pineapple or i'm gonna kill your dog fine you'll fuck the pineapple you have to just reach a breaking point please yeah i'd do it again so have you been have you paid attention to this jeffrey Epstein stuff? Yeah, a little bit. What do you think is going on? I think he had stuff on too many very powerful people.

Likely, right? Probably. Yeah. They took the guy off Suicide Watch, even though he's one of the most important witnesses. Yeah, weird. watch even though he's one of the most important witnesses yeah weird a really creepy high profile case that might have connected a bunch of really powerful people yeah this is i don't i'm not i don't i don't necessarily believe that it's you know the people from like it's trump or it's the democrat i think there's other very powerful people that would have wanted this guy to go

away oh for sure you know i have no idea how many very would have wanted this guy to go away. Oh, for sure. You know what I mean? We have no idea how many very powerful people want this guy to go away. He could sing. Right. He could sing for his freedom. My question is, didn't they get a whole bunch of evidence and stuff from him that these powerful people would have? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Where is all that stuff? Yeah. Yeah. You said you didn't know that he had a cellmate. This was the guy that was a cellmate. That's his cellmate? What? How hard do you think that guy fucked him?

He's a former cop. Jeffrey Epstein reportedly wasn't checked on for hours before his apparent suicide. That guy found him there? Why do we think that that guy didn't kill him? They left a rope in there? That guy could definitely kill him without leaving any evidence. That guy looks like he could do some damage. Look at the guy's arms.

That guy could just wrap Jeffrey Epstein up in a bear hug and hang him himself. Maybe he just choked him. Yeah. I mean, he could put that noose around Epstein's neck and then squeeze his arms together and just pull on it until the guy hangs to death and then go, oh my God, I found him hanged. That guy's jacked. That guy's huge. Imagine you go to jail in a high profile case and they throw you in there with a giant bald guy.

That's like Grossberger from Stir Crazy. But look at this. This is like caricature of the guy you don't want to be stuck in a prison with. Exactly. It literally is the guy. Yeah. In the bad movie, that's the guy waiting for you in the cell. Ex-cop.

Yeah. He looks like, what is his name? What'd he go to jail for? Yeah. Look at his name. Tartaglione. Briarcliff Codd, Westchester County. Nicholas Tartaglione.

The deaths of four men. Yeah. Stepping from an alleged cocaine drug conspiracy. And bro, he's that big and he's 51. How many cops are smuggling steroids in their asshole to get to this guy? Yeah. How is he staying that big? Yeah.

So he hung himself? Yeah. So they had like a belt or a rope left in there with him? This guy probably said, listen, if you keep getting me the juice, I'll keep this fucking guy on ice. Right. They didn't, they said, this is the one conspiracy. No, too many secrets.

This is the one conspiracy where nobody believes the true story that i've talked to no nobody except michael schirmer who michael schirmer the guy who runs skeptics magazines friend of mine's nice guy i couldn't disagree with him more he he thinks that things just happen and people kill themselves oh he that's his take this guy's he likes a lot of conspiracies. No, no, he silences conspiracies. He's never met a conspiracy he likes. Oh, oh, oh. He doesn't like any conspiracies. Oh, okay.

And this one is almost predictable. He's right in a way. And he's still like, no? He's right in a way, and I think his concept is, pull up his tweets so we can read what he's saying. I mean, you're not in a good place. You could see wanting to kill yourself. Oh, yeah, for sure. You know.

Make that a larger, please. I don't know where like he started but just just make it larger it just seems just make no scroll scroll down a little bit there okay a new conspiracy theory developed on epstein regarding suicide they made it happen on purpose first let it here it is scroll down if some no-name pedophile died by suicide in prison awaiting trial, would anyone bother concocting conspiracy theories about him being murdered by clandestine outside forces? Of course not.

As with JFK, Diana, Marilyn, et al., fame warps perspective and fuels unwarranted speculation. First of all, this is not unwarranted. Second of all, if you don't think that powerful people have people killed you're hilarious like that is willfully naive yeah they do do it says remember the adage regarding conspiracy theories never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence or chance uh true sure you shouldn't do that it is possible but what what are the odds there's something there's this is something where it stinks so bad because he's in so many circles and touch so many super powerful people it's different powerful people not only that it's he's not just a

pedophile like somebody like he's saying gave him a 70 million dollar house in new york city gave him gave him one of his clients gave him he signed he was the power of attorney at the time so he signed it over to himself but the guy let him do that that's the question is whether or not he even knew what's happening oh come on like he just stole the house from the guy he was in control of a lot of stuff that's where 70 million house 70 million that's what's coming out but how would the guy who he signed it off on, how would the guy not know this guy stole his house and not sue him? He was in control of all of his finances.

Right, but the guy was living in the house. Who? The guy? Wexner? No. Epstein. He bought the house for him, basically. That's what I'm saying.

The guy bought it for Epstein. Right. Right. Yeah. But who fucking buys you a $70 million house? Hey, I don't know. No one's bought me nothing. There's so many questions

about this guy, about where his wealth was, and then the color of his house. Didn't he own, didn't he? The eyeballs on the entrance and stuff, the shit about the house

is crazy too. Well, there's like cameras inside the house and shit, but the other thing was the house that's on the island that is the same color, it's painted in the same way the Israeli flag shit. But the other thing was the house that's on the island that is the same color. It's painted in the same way the Israeli flag is. Uh-huh.

And there was an idea. People are wondering how far this guy's influence goes and where it comes from. Look at this house. Bro. That was his house? That's his house on this fucking island. On the island. It was like a building there.

It's a temple that he had on his island. Bro, that's a dope temple, by the way. That thing looks awesome. Jeez. I would love that if that was my house. Come on in. How did he get so much money? Exactly.

No one really knows. Didn't he have something to do with Victoria's Secret? Yeah, he managed some money for the Victoria's Secret guy. The guy you took over, yeah. Correct. Oh. He's the guy who gave him the house. Oh.

Yeah. You know, Bill Clinton flew on his private jet no less than 26 times. Wow. Whatever. No big deal. He was a good guy. He hung out at Mar-a-Lago. Yeah, but I mean, I flew with him 26 times.

I've never flown with, it'd have to be my very best friends that I tour with all the time. Have I flown with you 26 times? Maybe four or five. But not privately ever. Maybe if we flew together, it might be a little more than four or five. not privately ever maybe if we flew together it might be a little more than four or five it might be 10 it might be 10 and i've known you for years yeah it's not been 26 times so bill clinton's flying with his one guy why he's the president

united states i think was he still president then or no it was afterwards afterwards i'm done i flew with jerry probably 20 times hey man i'm making I'm making money. I like flying with Jeffrey. I don't have to pay. I mean, that's a lot of times. To be partying with a dude, you would think that you would find out about how that guy fucks. When he had Clinton on the plane was sort of when he fucked up because that's when he stopped flying under the radar.

Who did? Jeffrey Epstein? Yeah, when that day happened, I was like, uh-oh. And he's been hiding ever since. That was like 2003 or four oh really that's when he got busted was shortly after that and then he's been on the run since then wasn't uh wasn't trump talking about it with howard howard stern what was he talking about oh about that he likes some young ladies yeah like why were they talking about him i I don't know. Because he was arrested or something? No, no, no.

He was just in the news? No, no, no. The arrest was later, and that was part of the problem was that with the arrest, the arrest was for some sexual thing with underage girls, and he got a really light sentence. And more people were freaking out about it. And then one woman pursued this pretty heavily. She was a journalist, and she pursued this story.

That's right. What is her name? I try to find out the miami herald but yeah that book i was telling you i just read about james patterson he said everything that kind of came out in that story they already wrote about about 2016 and for some reason the media didn't really pick up on it he said he wrote letters to everyone well yeah that was when that was when this guy got that really light sentence was around there. But this one woman kept writing about it. And this is one of the things. Pull up the name of this woman. Because this one woman really doggedly pursued this story. And it was because of her.

And I think a lot of it had to do with her recognition that this guy had gotten this creepy light sentence. Julie Brown. Yeah. Not to be confused with downtown Julie Brown. Remember her? Yeah, I do. Julie K. Brown. She was great. Like Michael Brown. Yeah. Not to be confused with downtown Julie Brown. Remember her? Yeah, I do. Julie K. Brown. She was great.

Like Michael B. Jordan. The actor? Yeah. Not the world's greatest. No one wants her name even close to this story. How about James Brown, the fucking sportscaster? Imagine that? What?

That guy? Nice guy. James Brown, sportscaster? Yeah. How the fuck do you call yourself James Brown? How dare you? Like, he owns that, right? Ow!

Like Michael Jackson. If you're Michael Jackson and you're a singer, what? You're who? Right. Right? Yeah. Don't you have anyone in your camp telling you this is a bad idea? Isn't there two of those cuts like a knife guys?

What's that guy's name? The guy from Canada? Na, na, na, na, na, na. Brian. Brian Adams. Brian Adams. There's a new Brian. of those cuts like a knife guys what's that guy's name the guy from canada um brian brian adams brian adams there's brian and there's ryan again change your fucking name ryan got in trouble too how about ricky adams be ricky adams ricky adams whatever happened to brian adams man that cuts like a knife like a knife that guy was awesome summer of 69 yeah he had some great jams i think he's still playing casinos Whatever happened to Brian Adams, man? That Cuts Like a Knife guy? Cuts Like a Knife! That guy was awesome. Summer of 69? Yeah.

He had some great jams. I think he's still playing casinos. Yeah. Really? I've seen him. He has a show tonight. Where? Bristol, Virginia.

There you go. We should all go to see him. We should make a road trip. Yeah. I'm sure that's a good show. We really have to start doing stuff like that. Yeah. We should make road trips to just go to see ridiculous shows. Yeah.

Def Leppard's out there. Journey's out there. Journey with the Japanese singer. Yeah. That guy's badass. Fuck yeah, he is. I know. He sounds as good as Steve Perry ever did in his prime.

I know. It's amazing. Steve Perry's still out there. I don't think he's performing, but he's still around. What are you playing? Brian Adams' Giant Crab. Wow. Look at that.

That's Brian Adams? Yeah. Yeah. That guy was a star. Post-menopausal chicks. It's the summer of 69. What does he look like these days? He's stretching here.

Let me see. He's working out. Look at that. He's ripped. He's fit. Stretch that back, he says. Brian Adams is fit. That's not him.

Is it? Yeah, it's him It's a weird black and white photo Yeah So he's got some Snapchat filter on him too He's obviously spiritually sound He looks healthy Working out

Well, listen, man That guy was a He was a rock star when I was in high school That's right And if he looks that good today That's incredible He's taking care of himself Must be

Yeah He's doing something right He's not running around after teenage. He's taking care of himself. Must be. Yeah. He's doing something right. He's not running around after teenage girls. He's living a good life. Floozies. Flying them with Bill Clinton somewhere. Obviously. Hey.

Hey, Epstein, what are we doing today? Yeah. For conspiracy theorists right now, like for Sam Tripoli. You know, Sam Tripoli runs Tinfoil Hat Podcast. He's in his glory. Oh, oh god he couldn't be happier but he's taking it to another level he thinks he's not really dead that they faked his death ah of course geez louise for conspiracy theorists when a conspiracy theory is obvious they look for the non-obvious possibility because they do the exact opposite of what michael schirmer was talking about conspiracy theorists never attribute to theory is obvious they look for the non-obvious possibility because they do the exact opposite

of what michael schirmer was talking about conspiracy theorists never attribute to malice everything right everything is malice all of it if it looks obvious there's something more it's so creepy god well god good who cares how? It's good he's gone. Maybe not, man. It's good he's gone. Maybe not. Maybe if he stayed alive, he could have told us some stuff about some terrible people that are still alive doing things. Yeah, he's the worst one. I don't know about that.

He's a creepo. How do we know that? We know he's a creep, most likely. But we definitely don't know if he's the worst out of all those people that he was creeping with. Yeah. The thing is, if the guy really did film a all those people that he was creeping with yeah the thing is if the guy really did film a bunch of people that are super powerful people doing crazy shit yeah there's got to be some stuff right um if i was leading the investigation i'd go after the

hard drives that's where they keep it all on the hard drives they did find hard drives filled with stuff that he had they did yeah that he had with very young girls in subjective poses. I don't know if it was pornography, but they were talking about how many different photos of young ladies that they found on his computer. All right, enough with this guy. But I don't know if they were young like illegal or young like 18. There's something weird about when you watch some porn

where they're pretending to be school girls you know yes you know the girl's 30 but she's pretending they always put them in an outfit yeah that's there's something weird about those porns like what is happening no exactly one guy's a milkman the other guy you know and he just comes over i must you bring up my fetish milkman porn He knocks on the door. Girl answers. She's got pigtails. No.

My dad's not home right now. I guess you can come inside. No. Next thing you know. Bounce. Bounce. How about watching a baseball game? You know what another thing that's weird about porn? There's a lot of step-sister, step-mother porn.

Step-mother? Step-mother and step-sister, step-mother porn. Step-mother? Step-mother and step-sister. Dude with his step-mother. Yeah. Or dude with his step-sister. Exactly. Like, dad marries some new floozy, dad's off at work, and the son's like 19, he wakes up and he's got a boner, and next thing you know, his step-mom's sucking his dick.

Now, those are fun. But it's very popular. Well, there's a, you know, that's human sexuality. There's, you know, everybody has something they're into. So I guess they make a movie for all of it. Yes, but also they're always looking for a new forbidden thing. So it's regular porn is not forbidden enough. It's not just two people that are hot that are getting it on right no no no it's got to be something that shouldn't be doing

oh my god we shouldn't be doing this right that's a thrill for a lot of people right they feel sexually suppressed so when they watch porn like oh my god it's a stepmom she's gonna do it she's gonna take a picture of her so it's right so it's like forbidden yeah yeah yeah like you with the west world thing yeah yeah yeah just i mean yeah. Like you with the Westworld thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the thing with people, right? They like, especially when people get told what to do too much when they're young, and they develop this desire to do forbidden things. Right.

To be rebellious. Right. Yeah. I mean, yeah. But it's also like pushing the envelope thing too, right? You get bored. People like outrageous things, and those outrageous things are not outrageous enough anymore,

then they get more outrageous somehow or another. Right. That's right. That's why you shouldn't go down the path. Right? You should start. That's why you're healthier working out like crazy or being obsessed with cars or being obsessed with sports.

It's like you want to get more and more extreme with it when you're dealing with tires. You're not dealing with human beings that are being trafficked through Florida with the idea that they might have some fame. You know what I mean? Why does it have to be Florida? That's where it all happens, right? Really? All bad things where was that epstein guy florida yeah mar-a-lago florida you ever see rashida jones's documentary on

porn no it's pretty uh devastating who's rashida jones again she was quincy jones's daughter she was on the um she's very funny talented she was in um parks and rec and the office and the office and she made a documentary on just like all these young girls that especially now with social media and wanting to be liked and wanting to having all these promises of fame and that what you think is amateur porn and is harmless there's really a very high percentage of these people are being exploited and uh yeah it'll make you look at porn very differently i'm sure i recommend it but is there any kind of acceptable porn yeah like what if it's like 35 year old ladies that are just freaks or not freaks just they just want to fuck on camera they get they get a thrill out of people watching them fuck

is that possible i don't know if it's possible what happened right yeah that is yeah question is you always worry if but do you what happened to them right put them in that mind space because we don't have a fear about men look are you worried about men who are 35 years old who are having sex with women on camera does those trouble trouble you? No, I don't think about them at all. Not concerned about them, right? So we're concerned about the women. Is that, wait for it, because we're sexist? Are we putting standards on the females that we don't put on the males

because we don't think the women can handle it? Or we don't think they can make that choice? We don't think that they should be allowed to make that choice or if they do make that choice we think there has to be something wrong with them and they need to be protected whereas we don't have those feelings about a man i just know that so i i think that when you're thinking about what leads you to that place there's a high probability that some man did something awful to that girl when she was young. That's such a high percentage of people that have had – all women have had to deal with some creepo at some point in their life.

For sure. And so I think it's built on that. It's like, well, you know, I'd rather help her in some other way than watch these porns. So is that something we inherently know? And how do we know that yeah yeah because men are big and aggressive and can do no no no that's not what i'm saying when you see someone that's in porn do we inherently know that they've been molested do we just know or do i mean we don't know we don't but i think but have we investigated it

like there is a high percentage of women that do porn this is a fact that have been sexually molested what i'm saying is your distaste for it is it based on the knowledge of that or is this an inherent perception that a woman who would do that must be damaged so something must be must have had happened to her when she was younger that was awful otherwise she wouldn't be doing this well it's like going to a strip club and probably 80% of the guys are just seeing somebody dancing. And 20% of the guys are thinking, wait, you shouldn't be doing this. You know what I mean? I don't think-

20% at strip clubs? I don't know. Maybe higher. I just feel like- You know what I mean? I don't think we- I think we're able to- I'm sorry

to cut you off but i think we're uh i think human beings are able to not see everything that they want to see because they're enjoying what's before them i think you're right for sure we definitely make rationalizations right but i'm wondering like why if it's a man we don't have any i guess it's because we don't think of a man of being you know if a guy is a an object of sexual desire for women we don't think of him as a victim ever i know which is unfortunate because there are a lot of things happen to young boys you know well did you hear about this guy that's suing katie perry you about the song no no she says he maybe she he's not suing her but he's accusing her of sexual assault what he's calling sexual assault uh-. She pulled down his sweatpants and exposed his dick to some people.

Right. Right. And then that knee jerk reaction is, well, you're a dude. You would love Katy Perry pulling your pants off. Yeah. Right? But maybe he was really hurt by it. Who knows?

Maybe he needs to grow a pair. How about that? I love Katy Perry. Yeah. What the fuck's the problem? She pulls your pants down? I don't get it. Yeah. everybody gets to see your dick even when i was a young boy there wasn't like i was a sounds to me like katie perry's trying to fuck you leave katie perry is that what you think she was doing no sounds like she pantsed him

for fun yeah that's what it sounds like lucy sweatpants right now if that was a guy doing it to a girl i would say that is sexual assault. Yes. I think of it very differently. I would too. If a guy was there and a girl bent over in front of a bunch of guys to pick up her keys and someone pantsed her and her vagina was exposed to all these strangers, I would say that guy's a piece of shit.

Like, imagine if that was your daughter or your wife, right? Some guy pulls your wife's fucking sweatpants down in front of a crew of people. Because I think we see men as a a threat as a physical threat right but if katie perry does it to a guy i'm like huh yeah i know yeah and you was the judge i'm like get the fuck out without explaining it or coming up for reasons why that is the knee-jerk reaction a woman got arrested in new jersey she uh blew a 14 year old boy they gave her a 10 year like a suspended sentence 10 she's on 10 year probation no jail time and she keeps her teaching certificate really yes she was allowed to keep her certificate stop blowing kids you crazy yeah she probably blew the cop, blew the judge. Oh, God.

That's my thought on that always, is if a woman's willing to blow a 14-year-old, she'll blow you, too. That girl's fucking crazy. She just loves sucking dick. Oh, my God. You could talk her into it. As long as she's got standards. I mean, I think every cop that arrests a lady who blows 14-year-olds, every cop thinks she'll suck his dick too right don't you think they're crazy yeah it's a crazy woman yeah well you don't think so do i think she's crazy yes for sure but it's not a

so i think every crazy doesn't scare me no there's something you know look we all there's a lot of different ways to be damaged right and that's her damage but what i'm saying is like that's not her what is she doing she's a grown adult see how even you're looking at that there's a lot of different ways to be damaged but if that was a grown man having sex with a 14 year old girl you wouldn't worry about what fucking damage he has you'd be worrying about what damage he's doing see even in that situation you're worried about her being damaged i'm not worried about her but you know what i'm saying but that's what you said right right you're you're what you were thinking about was her being damaged right not her victimizing the boy right because we don't think of it that way no i know i know like right i mean when these stories started coming out when

we were younger they've always existed i know but it and it was always like you know with your buddies it was like oh i wish my spanish teacher did that yeah you know there's been freaks throughout history yeah crazy women that blow boys from as long as time memorial yeah there's a word time memorial you don't time in time in memoriam memoriam yeah sexuality is such a weird bizarre thing that's why they have to make all these laws about it. You know, to keep some, again, back to the guidebook. Right? I was reading about a country.

I think, fuck, there was, I want to say, is it Kashmir? Google this. That 20% of all marriages start with kidnapping. Yes. 20% of marriages in that country. There's a country where 20% of all marriages start today. With a kidnapping. Today.

Not in the 1200s. Not during the Genghis Khan administration. Is it like prom? It's like... No, they just kidnap women and then they're forced to marry their kidnappers so they don't get shamed. Oh, man. Google 20% of all marriages begin with kidnapping.

Just Google that. Google that. That sentence. Not the weirdest thing that's ever been Googled. That's a fucking crazy statistic, if I remember it correctly. Can I remember it? That is crazy. I think I wrote it down somewhere.

I'll pull out my laptop. Did you find it? Headline, one in five girls and women kidnapped for marriage in Kyrgyzstan. Kyrgyzstan. There it is. One in five. Where is Kashmir? Kashmir is Pakistan. Besides the Led Zeppelin song. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. kyrgyzstan kyrgyzstan there it is what i think was cash one in five where is cashmere cashmere is pakistan besides the led zeppelin song is it so it's only kyrgyzstan according to a study

published yeah that spot but see bride napping also occurs in places like armenia ethiopia kazakhstan south africa and particularly common rural parts of central asian country kidnapping just grabbing people well there's so many people making them marry you be a Kazakhstan, South Africa, and particularly common rural parts of Central Asian country. Kidnapping, just grabbing people. Grabbing people and making them marry you. Jeez Louise. They're still doing that in 2019. But just stop and think about one out of five. And that's with them trying to keep it on the down low.

So what was it 100 years ago? 100%. Right? 100%. Nobody ever got married. Yeah. Nobody just raped there's a thing called groom nap kidnapping that also happens where the eligible bachelors are abducted by a bride's family and forced to marry oh it happens the other way around too oh my god these people are living like movie characters so weird this is happening today yeah

we are so fortunate god yeah here well not just us there's some yeah but people in the western world what what do you say 2009 in this place has been b b har b i h a r 1224 kidnappings for marriage were reported in 1,200 kidnappings for marriage. How many people live there? 1,259. Good Lord. Everyone's just getting kidnapped. You know, we say we don't.

That's horrible. Dude, imagine that. That is fucking horrible. Men are damaged. Well, in that part of the world mean they have a long tradition of doing creepy shit with women that's one of the weird things about history the further you go back in history the worse women are treated right you know universally you know we say that again the further you go back in history the worst women the worst worse women worse women are treated

they're treated worse the further you go back in history. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what's the original image that we always got of caveman and cavewoman? Right. Hitting her over the head, dragging her by her hair. Right, exactly. Why do we know that archetype?

Yeah. Why do we know that archetype? That's a weird one. Yeah. Hitting her in the head and dragging her by her hair. Where are we getting that from? Right, just taking,

because that's how it went down, I guess. But why do you and I know that same image? We watch the same cartoons. Is that what it was? Yeah. Mine's a cartoon getting that from? Right. Just taking, because it's how it went down, I guess. But why do you and I know that same image? We watch the same cartoons. Is that what it was? Yeah. Mine's a cartoon image of it.

Right. But why did that cartoon image, why did that become so prevalent? That we both, like, where'd you grow up? New Jersey. I live there, too. So maybe we both got it from the same part of the world. Yeah, maybe we both watch Zoom. And then it was Boston and Boulder and San Francisco. But that was a thing you thought of when you thought of the world. Yeah, maybe we both watch Zoom. And then it was Boston and Boulder and San Francisco.

But that was a thing you thought of when you thought of cavemen. You thought of the man clubbing the lady over the head and dragging her by her hair. It's crazy. Men have a long way to go. Sure. A long way to go. The hang-ups that men have over women that turn into violence is still, at this late date in our human development development is still batshit crazy

there is such a violent they don't understand how to even like be around women they don't understand when they're rejected by women and it all is culminates still in such a violent nature it's bizarre wasn't that what happened to the guy who owned the stand i don't know what happened i know but what i didn't hear stand yeah what's been explained to me that the the ex ex-husband right of his au pair of the right to kill her and he was there and wound up killing him too so he was just coming to find out that's true i don't know i don't know what the whole story was but apparently i don't know him well but apparently it was super awful like i know he was a nice guy i met him a couple times terrible maplewood new jersey it's uh you know a man but man again men going crazy if that is the case if that's the story a man trying to kill his ex-wife or killing his ex-wife

it's just like man talk about lack of guidebook. Nobody teaches young men, frustrated men. That's the story. So I was correct. I was accurate. That's, um,

it says, uh, dad of two, killed the crimes were the stand owner, David Kimowitz, 40 year old married dad of two and the family's Colombian au pair. Karen Bermudez Rodriguez, 26. Yeah.

Wow. So there's nothing going on between the nanny and him. Fuck. Men, man. Stabbed an au pair and her boss. Horrible. Yeah. Hey, man. man stabbed an au pair and her boss horrible yeah hey man nobody teaches these men like how to how to be a man right how to curb those appetites and deal with it and put your violence towards something else you know it's it's still a big hole but this is also they were saying colombian she was colombian i don't know if

she's from colombia and if he was from colombia too i mean look there's every culture all around the world but extreme violence in a lot of parts of south america in certain places you know yeah a lot here i mean it's everywhere anywhere there's dudes they get frustrated and they yeah but more so more so in uh in a lot of places in south america you know in some areas that are like you know i had this guy on who's an expert in mexico he worked in the uh ed calderon he worked um dealing with cartels uh-huh and for the mexican government and you know the stories this guy would tell you about the violence that's happening in Mexico. Right.

It's fucking terrifying. Really? And how many kids grow up, like, sort of enamored with this cartel life and get drawn into it and sucked into it. And just wind up, these people wind up taking people to kill people and showing them how to cut people up and getting them accustomed to doing it. Oh, my God. Yeah. And they seem so normal when you meet them. And then you realize that they're literally training kids to murder people and chop them accustomed to doing it oh my god yeah and they seem so normal when you meet them and then you realize that they're literally training kids to murder people and chop them up

and you're like what yeah yeah it's dark out there so if you fuck that guy's au pair or rather if um you uh live with that guy's or if she just decided to leave him yeah i mean i don't think he was i don't think anybody's um saying that he was having an affair but if the guy thought he was because the guy was you know if you're a man and your ex-wife is living in a house there's a man in the house you assume like you're a piece of shit you assume that they're having an affair even if they aren't yeah right and you would just if you were trying to kill her you'd probably try to kill him too or maybe he was trying to kill her and the other guy just happened to be there and and he killed him either way that guy went to the house with the idea i'm gonna kill my point was like if you could if you have a dangerous person like that

and that dangerous person is trying to go and get his ex-wife and kill her and you have to be you happen to get caught in the crossfares with a knife knife, right? Yeah, it's terrible. Awful. Horrible. So terrible. Horrible. Be careful out there, kids. Be kind to each other. I know, but I mean... Be nice. That's the other thing

about the way the world really works. Yeah. You have to recognize there are really people like that out there. A ton. That's a real thing. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. It is... You have to be aware. You can't be naive that there's that this stuff doesn't exist you can't pretend that it's not around no yeah but how do you uh how do you defend against something like that right if you don't know how to fight how do you and even if you do even if you do a knife yeah your back is turned yeah you know yeah who knows right a lot Turned? Yeah. You know. Yeah. Who knows? Right. A lot of it's left to chance.

Fuck, it's such a horrible way to leave this world. Someone's stabbing you. Draining out. Just, I mean. Terrible. Someone's trying to get back at his ex-wife. Stabbing you. Yeah, you're sitting there in your nice little house.

You're running a comedy club. Just having a nice time. People laughing. You're managing some other comedians. You're making your way. You've got your wife and your kids you're providing for them and then just you have no idea that morning when you wake up and making coffee what's headed your way horrible if you had someone close to you get murdered before um no not close to me closest to me was phil hartman and his wife shot him and then shot

right shot herself right it's terrible yeah do you think there's ever going to be a time there's no violence no violence we evolve past this to some new thing i don't know if we evolve because there's so many people i think it would evolve not to that i don't it would take eons we're still like do you think so many parts of yeah there's so many parts of the globe are still you know way behind i think it would have to be like put in the water or something like we'd have to medicate it out of us that's a real interesting perspective right because amongst us amongst the people that we know what are the odds that um we could get through this life with no violence like say if we all all the people that we knew we all live together i could i would bet a lot of money nobody would murder anybody so what happens when you get from

that to large groups of people and then you get to large groups of people like you're talking about Kyrgyzstan where one out of five women gets fucking kidnapped. Yeah. That's how marriages get started. Yeah. They're wild and out there. They're living crazy. Yeah. Or Karachi.

What is that one city that in, there's one city in Pakistan. Is it Karachi? What is that one city in Pakistan? Is it Karachi? What is that city? Why can't I remember the name? Is that it? That was one of the cities that Shane Smith from Vice was saying was one of the most terrifying places on earth. Oh, yeah. Because the sheer cheapness of murder like how cheap it is to get

someone murdered oh really and how much murder and crime goes on over there oh god just a totally different metric yeah for how you view the world totally different perception of what life is worth and what life is like yeah and what kind of violence you have to deal with on a daily basis i know there's a lot of very dark places. That's why I don't like to travel. You don't like to travel at all? I do like to travel, but I don't. I'm starting to cross off a bunch of places. That's your sketch?

Yeah. You know, between getting parasites that make you have to poop in a bag and send to your doctor or ending up in real violent places that don't have the same kind of rules that we do. My friend Justin Wren, who runs Fight for the Forgotten Charity. I was just wearing his shirt at the beach yesterday. Were you? Yeah. That's awesome. Best guy ever.

Yeah. He has a new intestinal parasite that's draining him. He doesn't know what the fuck it is. No. Yeah, he's got something that he caught when he was over there. Oh, no. That's what I'm afraid of. He's really sick. Is he really? Yeah, he's really sick. Is caught when he was over there. Oh, no. That's what I'm afraid of. He's really sick.

Is he really? Yeah, he's really sick. Is he going to be okay? I don't know. They're going to have to, hopefully. Identify it. Yeah, they have to figure out what it is, figure out how he got it, figure out what's going on. That's no joke.

What happened in the Dominican Republic? Didn't people die because they were drinking from the minibar? Did you hear that story? Yes. Yes. Yes. There's a lot of sketch. They were saying that people were putting stuff in the minibar that wasn't actually alcohol.

Yeah. The story that I had heard was that they would put cheap substitutes for whatever the alcohol was supposed to be so that people would pay for it and then they would steal the actual liquor and replace it with something else and then people would drink it it was like poisonous and they were dying yeah people really died yeah yeah oh that's terrible i hope he's okay i don't know what the actual story was but somebody else described it saying like the one thing is you concentrate on statistics and i don't know if this is true we should find out but that if you concentrate on statistics then it seems like a lot of people die in the dominican republic when they over there. But the reality is that it's just the way we're looking at it

because we've chosen to start focusing on people who die over there. But in fact, it's like commensurate with people that die over here when they're on vacation. Right, but only a certain number go to that resort. You know what I mean? It was more than one resort, I believe. It was? Yeah, I think so.

Well, a lot of people Go to the Dominican Not now But a lot of people Were going I was there last year Were you Yeah So would you go back

After all this No First of all I saw a story About a couple That went there And got hookworm In their feet

Oh you can definitely Get that From the beach That I was already Like maybe I'm not Going back And now that you Can't even drink

From the mini bar I'm like you know. And now that you can't even drink from the mini bar, I'm like, you know what? There's nice places in Laguna Beach. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Laguna. Did you know that hookworm is responsible for the stereotype of the southern dummy? No. Yeah. What do you mean? People walking around the south barefoot were getting hookworm en masse,

and hookworm has a detrimental effect on your ability to think. Oh. Yeah, it literally compromises your mental ability. It makes you dumber. So like the trope of like a hillbilly walking around? Exactly. Really? Yep, yep.

Oh, weird. Yep, yep. Hookworm. Did we find out about that from peter hotez is that who told us that that is weird how a worm gave the south a bad name oh my god yeah hookworms once sapped the american south of its health and few realize that they continue to afflict millions geez yeah he looks so. It fucks with the way you think. Makes you tired. Gives you fatigue.

Yeah. This podcast has turned very dark. Listen to this. Weeks later, victims succumbed to an insatiable exhaustion and impenetrable haziness of the mind that some called stupidity. Adults neglected their fields and children grew pale and listless. Victims developed grossly distended bellies and angel wings, emaciated shoulder blades, accentuated by hunching.

All gazed out dully from sunken sockets with a telltale fisheye stare. That is the stereotype of people from the South. And we just always thought they're just living in hot weather and they're just stupid. But what it really was. Was worms. Was fucking hookworm. Ew. Isn't that amazing?

This podcast started off, we were having fun. We were talking about judo. The culprit behind the germ of laziness, as the South's affliction was sometimes called, was Nekator Americanus, the American murderer. Better known as the hookwormcator americanus the american murderer better known as the hookworm it's called the american murder are they still out there millions of those blood sucking parasites lived fed yeah for sure and died within the guts of up to 40 of the population stretching from southeastern texas to west virginia can you imagine 40 of the population of the south in these places from texas to west virginia was infected 40 of the population with a fucking

worm that makes you dumb i'm never going anywhere ever again incredible that's this that's insane but that's what the stereotype came from. Wow. How wild. Fucking crazy. That's insane. Now, how many people are getting, right now, getting Lyme disease? And Lyme disease, although it doesn't make you lazy, it wrecks your health. It devastates your health. For years. Yep.

For years. That shit is happening right now on the East Coast. It's all over the East Coast. My kids were back there working on a farm over the over the summer and my daughter had a tick on her we freaked out should freak out yeah you got to get it off before 24 hours yeah and you know but you also if you do get infected you have to get on antibiotics really quickly super fast there's a woman who wrote a book about um lyme disease possibly being a military biological weapon that accidentally was released. Really?

Yeah. Apparently this is a popular thought, that there's something about Lyme disease that Lyme disease doesn't necessarily make sense, how quickly it came from this one area, like this Lyme, Connecticut area, and how rapidly it came from this one area like this lime connecticut area and how uh rapidly it spread and how devastating its impact was and there is apparently there's has been some research that's been not some quite a bit of research is done on various biological weapons and various

distribution methods and one of the thoughts of a lot of these distribution methods is infecting bugs. Infecting bugs with some designer disease and then infecting the population. Like if you release the bugs on this area that you wanted to attack, like at a certain point in time, and you infected giant chunks of the population, then you would be able to go back there 10 years later and everybody would be fucked. Wow. Yeah, but this is something that biological diseases,

whether it's anthrax, things along those lines. Yeah, terrifying. But they've made those forever. They've had that and people have been aware of that forever. Yeah. But the idea of it being something that's in a bug and that can infect you jeez louise that's terrifying yeah are you trying to make it are you trying to make it that i don't go out of my house trying to freak out no it's weird that it's i mean the we i don't remember being around when we were kids on the

east coast it was not around and i think it took a while for anybody to figure out what the fuck it was um how about the new mosquitoes that we have yes well there's also we never had these mosquitoes before there's a recent case of a horrible disease breaking out in the east coast i think somewhere in massachusetts there's some uh horrible mosquito-borne disease what is that what does that uh thing say about the ticks about ly Lyme disease? What is the book? It's called Bitten. Yes, that's it. Bitten?

By Chris Newby, K-R-I-S, Chris. Is that a man or a woman? It's a woman. She discovered circumstantial evidence linking the outbreak of Lyme disease in the 1960s to the U.S. military. Some people say this is bullshit, but some people say it's just conspiracy theory. Who's some people? Put up the article so we can see it. This is the middle.S. military. Some people say this is bullshit, but some people say it's just a conspiracy theory. Who's some people? Put up the article so we can see it. This is the middle of the...

Can you give me a... Spread it out so I can see it. Scroll down. Okay, the DO... Go back up. Stop. The DOD takes extreme care of all of its research programs to ensure the protection of our personnel and the community.

What is that? When Smith announced his amendment... Okay, this is too much there. It says there's just too much evidence for a reasonable man or woman to just turn the page and say, put on your tinfoil hat, this is just a conspiracy theory, Smith said. And yet people with credentials will say that, which begs the question, why would they even say that? Chris Newby wrote the book, book bitten said she discovered circumstantial

evidence linking the outbreak of lyme disease in the 1960s that's what you said from the u.s military as proof newby cites an interview that she had stop right there with will berg dofer the american scientist who discovered what causes lyme disease who told her shortly before his death that he had been instructed to keep his research and a possible cause for Lyme disease a secret. My hypothesis was, is, that the biological weapon they were trying to cover up. Oh, my hypothesis is that was the biological weapon they were trying to cover up, said Newby, a science writer at the Stanford School of Medicine in California. I don't believe it.

Seems like a lot of malarkey. She said, I can't connect the dots right now, says Newby, who survived Lyme disease. My theory is that it was a genetically engineered Rickettsia bacteria, but as a journalist, I can't prove that. So what is she saying then? She's just pulling stuff out so she wrote a book she wrote a book yeah yeah i ain't buying it but that's not to say

that that does worry me more than anything i think she's a hoser i don't know her personally but if you had a guess probably but i think that uh that's your bread yeah i would never give her my bread uh that scares me more than anything though a plague of some sort i always feel like we should be uh keeping some medicine in the house plague medicine yeah like what kind i don't know tetracycline is that good for plague i don't know what the fuck you to take something. What the hell could be good for plague? Depends what the plague is. Really?

If it's a flu, there's certain things you can take. If it's crazy war bugs, probably nothing. But there's so many people, and it's so gross, and you can see how people are just coughing in the airports without covering their mouths. That's going to happen. There's a story I was reading this morning, Jamie, about mosquito-borne illness in Massachusetts. Some new, some like Legionnaire's disease type deal.

Oh, geez. We have these nasty mosquitoes here in Los Angeles. We're not supposed to have them. Where are you getting these mosquitoes? Around your neighborhood? Yeah. I might have a neighbor with a full pool. I know.

Sometimes neighbors don't take care of their pool. I know. That's bad. It care of their pool. I know. That's bad. It is bad. They were saying, I read an article about it. They said even like a crumpled up chip bag. Filled with water? Yeah, that gets water from a sprinkler.

That's enough. Crazy. And there are these black and white little guys and they just, and they go from your knee down. Dirty little bitches. They're nasty. We never had screens before in my house. dirty little bitch they're nasty

we never had screens before in my house when I first moved to LA I rented a house that someone had a pool in the backyard that they didn't take care of really

like really bad and when I got there the pool was green the water was green and there was things swimming in it and I was like what the fuck is that

it was mosquito larva oh my god yeah yeah see so I had a contact here it is Massachusetts confirmed human case of mosquito born mosquito larvae. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. See? So I had a contact. Here it is. Massachusetts confirmed human case of mosquito-borne virus.

The first human case since 2013. Of EEE. What is that? See? Scroll down so we can read that. Equine encephalitis. That's horse. That's horse stuff. The first human case since 2013

At least nine towns are at critical risk Of exposure to a rare But potentially fatal virus that can cause Brain swelling According to the Massachusetts Department of Public Health Fuck Dude I remember when I was a kid Me and this chick made out in the woods

And wound up taking our pants off And stuff And I got fucking lit up by mosquitoes so bad we had to stop fooling around like this is crazy i mean i had welts all over my leg oh my god it was crazy i was like jesus this is what happens when you try to fool around the woods god punishing me dude that's terrible. In cold areas, the mosquitoes are way more aggressive. Yes. I know. The whole East Coast. Maine, forget it.

Oh, Maine is brutal. Oh, Canada's worse. Brutal. I've never seen mosquitoes like Alaska, though. Alaska mosquitoes are fucking bonkers. Are they big? They're huge. And they're super aggressive.

They don't have any time. They come in. They move in quick. They just swarm on you. Yeah. This is what happens. This come in. They move in quick. They just swarm on you. Yeah. This is what happens. This is why I'm so aggravated. LA, we didn't have this.

We did not exist until a year ago. I think it's your neighbor. You don't have them by your house? No. Really? Really? Saw a bobcat fight with a rattlesnake, though. See that?

I can handle it. My buddy sent me a video. What did you see? In the middle of the street? Yeah. With a rattlesnake? It was on Twitter. Oh, handle. My buddy sent me a video. What did you see? In the middle of the street? Yeah. With a rattlesnake? It was on Twitter. Oh, was it on Twitter?

Yeah. Who put it on Twitter? I don't know. My buddy got it from his neighbor who saw it happen. Oh, wow. Yeah, pulled the one up that maybe might be the same one. A bobcat versus a rattlesnake? Yeah.

That's a good fight. Dude, the rattlesnake's a big fucking rattlesnake, too. Bobcat's trying to eat it. It's hard out there. It's hot. It's hard good fight. Dude, the rattlesnake's a big fucking rattlesnake, too. Bobcat's trying to eat it. It's hard out there. It's hot. It's hard out there. I know. That's why the coyotes are eating cats.

Yeah, they just take whatever they can get. I know. Everyone's hungry. It's hot. You've got to get through this month. But the thing about coyotes and cats, I think we can relay this to the thing about bears and deers that we're talking about in New Jersey. Yeah.

You don't want all the bears dead because then there'll be so many fucking deers you'll be slamming into them with your cars. Right. You want some of them alive. It's called management. Yes. And you've got to manage the fucking deer, too. The thing about the deer, too, that's particularly offensive

is when people are like, there's too many deer. What do we do? They're made out of food. Yeah, eat them. You shoot them and eat them. They're fucking fucking delicious my brother-in-law does does he yeah he gets two or three gets them put in the freezer and that's their meat for the year yeah in new jersey what you got jamie yep that's it that's it look at this whoa yeah look at that motherfucker he's like bitch the fuck oh Oh, man.

I'm going to eat you. Bitch, I'm going to fucking eat you. He's trying to eat him. He's trying to bite him. Wow, he got him. That doesn't look good. That cat is goddamn quick. Wow, he got him.

He tried to bite him, but he didn't let it. But look at his moves. He's so relentless, too. Yeah. He just keeps going back at it. Jeez. It's hard out here in the west yeah pop cats trying to eat a rattlesnake fuck man yeah it's tough there's a lot of nastiness going

on yeah it's the wild wild west that singer i was telling you about got bit in the foot i was walking across the country mike posner he's fucked up right yeah he can't walk for weeks he's gotta like relearn how to walk what from being bit by a rattler? Yeah. Snakes can really hurt you bad, man. Jeez. There's a lot of them out here. They can cause your tissue to deteriorate. It causes necropsy.

It causes the death of tissue, like wherever the bite is, especially if you don't get it treated really quickly. I've seen a guy who I was looking at this picture online, this guy got bit, wound up going to the hospital, and his skin had rotted away where his bone was exposed. Ah! Yeah. Over how long? How much time?

I don't know. I don't know, but he had a ton of skin grafts and operations to try to repair the area. Oh, my God. Terrible. Jeez. Terrible, terrible stuff. All right, so don't go to the South. Yes.

Don't go to the Dominican Republic. Don't go to Kazakhstan. Don't go overseas. Don't go in the woods. But do go to Netflix Radio at 7 in the morning. Listen to Tom Papa, Fortune Femster. What a joke. I'll do, if you want, well, we'll talk about it.

But if you ever want to do the show, if you ever want to. You're doing the afternoon for me? Yeah, of course. Yeah, we'll do a whole thing with you. I to do the show if you ever want to do in the afternoon for me yeah of course yeah we'll do a whole thing that's like a diva well you are people are i gotta work at seven you're fucking gonna work at seven well that's the funny thing i was complaining about the hours i'm like i'm on seven o'clock till nine my brother-in-law's like dude i wake up at 5 30 i drive an hour to work i'm until 6 at night, and then I drive two hours home. So boo-hoo, you get to go hang out and talk with Jerry Seinfeld for an hour. Oof.

Oof. Ridiculous. Oof. We don't work that hard. No, we do not work that hard. Shout out to Tom Papa. Thanks for bringing me in. My pleasure, brother.

I'll hook you up with some elk after this. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Thank you so much. You got any dates coming up? Want to tell anybody? Go to TomPapa.com. I'm coming out in a couple weeks. It all starts up again.

Come to Papa. Come to Papa podcast. And then this new one that's Netflix radio. What is it called again? Netflix radio. What a joke. What a joke. Netflix radio.

And it's on seven in the morning. How many days a week? Four days a week. Dang. It uh seven to nine and uh two to four okay out here thank you tom papa you're the best to you my friend no you're the best i love coming in i love having you buddy see ya