The Joe Rogan Experience - #1336 - Legion Of Skanks

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

Legion Of Skanks has been called “the most offensive podcast on Earth” and the hosts and creators are stand up comedians - Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, and Dave Smith. Listen now on Spotify.

I rarely watch the event live. Hello skanks. What's up? Hello. We're live. This is sort of. Hell yeah. We're recorded.

Good to see you boys. Good to see you too. What's happening? Things got strange as soon as I said we're live. Everybody's like, oh. Oh man, we were having a great conversation. People are listening. We're a little too high right now.

People are listening to what? That goddamn Mike Tyson weed. We really were just having the most natural conversation. Everyone was going back and forth, nothing. Yeah. Mike Tyson, we were talking when you went to the bathroom. Mike Tyson says he smokes $40,000 a week. He also sells weed, so he just charges himself a lot of money.

He gets high on his own supply. There's no way you can smoke $40,000 worth of weed. I mean, maybe like his whole crew. Yeah, to say it's about himself, there's no way. A month? How much is $40,000? I want to I mean, maybe like his whole crew. Yeah, to say it's about himself, there's no way. A month? How much is $40,000? I want to see what it looks like in a room. Yeah, I'm not buying that.

It would be a pile that you could fall into and take a nap. Like you could definitely, it's like beanbag chair. You could fly through the air and be back with confidence. So how much is, I mean, you're getting it in bulk, so it's going to be probably like $100 an ounce. It's getting even worse. Even less than that. All right, so how much is, I mean, you're getting it in bulk, so it's going to be probably like $100 an ounce. It's getting even worse. Even less than that. If you're going to spend 40 grand, they'll give you more than 40 grand's worth.

You know what I mean? Just to be like here, man. I don't know. Look what it says here. We smoke 10 tons of weed at the ranch a month. Oh my God. This is Britain said. Eben?

Is that how you say his name? Eben? Eben? Eben, Britain? So 10 tons of weed is $40,000. That doesn't seem right, does it? None of that seems right. Seems like it'd be more money than that.

That's 20,000 pounds of weed. That's impossible. He obviously could have easily been joking and laughing while he said this, too. We're reading it in print. But he's like, dude, we smoke 10 tons a month. Yeah, this is on the podcast. It might be weed talk. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, it sounds like something I would say. More than you could ever possibly imagine. Keep burning it. We burn it all the time. We don't even breathe air. I'm going to throw out a wild number. 40 million. 40 tons.

I'm going to go, no, 40 million is not right. 40,000? Someone should, some journalist should do, just make an image of this is what $40,000 worth of weed looks like. Yeah, it's going to be more than even Mike Tyson and his crew can smoke. Wouldn't it fill this whole room? I think it would. Yeah, when it was like shipping crates.

Is it even? Somebody already did it. Wait, what? Somebody already did it. Is it even? There's a graph. Is it even possible to smoke $40,000 a weed a month? 900 eighths? That's actually not that much.

With a crow, 900? Think about it. If you do two gram blunts, that's two blunts per eighth, essentially, a little bit less. This guy's got it broken down. Yeah, but this guy really could just tell you how much it is in bulk. He's giving you 900 eighths. Seems a little bit lazy this guy's got broken down yeah but this guy really could just tell you how much it is in bulk he's giving you 900 eighths seems a little bit lazy to even write 1800 blunts between mike tyson's crew is not actually that much for a month it's not that much now when i'm looking at how this guy's saying it he's saying it's basically four blunts per hour that's totally possible if

you got a large number of people with you i will never question mike tyson again ever this is it ever that's still not ten tons. I think we're being silly. I think they were joking around. I bet a lot of it they give away, too. You know, they might go through a personal stash of that much weed. I didn't know he has a ranch. Mike Tyson's in the weed game, son.

All in. Dude, he was one of the most fascinating guys to interview. Because I couldn't believe I was really talking to him. So I can't believe that's really Mike Tyson. There's some people, you talk to them like, that's really Mike Tyson? This is crazy. It doesn't make sense.

What he's been through in his life, you're like, now he's here somehow? Knowing him as a kid when he was the fucking man, and you'd see him on the cover of these magazines, like Kid Dynamite when he was 19 years old on Sports Illustrated, and just smashing everyone in front of him. And then all of a sudden he's hanging with you.

Yeah, it's very strange. Chill, too. And it's also just a fall from grace and then a resurgence. It's still a weird resurgence, too. Nobody ever saw him becoming a cartoon character and a fucking Broadway actor and a one-man show and now a weed rancher. That's bananas. Who saw that? Nobody said that was

gonna be mike tyson's trajectory yeah i just hope he doesn't get me too the tech the uh the trajectory of when i found out who he was when i was a kid and started getting those like very shortly after you saw what a monster he was was that robin givens interview where he just sat there like a doofus yeah well she was like yeah he beats up me and rapes my mom and he's like i can't don't be stewing and just going like when these cameras go off oh boy you better hope the thin of you go on for four days wasn't there some talk about them medicating him wasn't that part of what was happening like they were the mom and rob mcg They were trying to sedate him. Maybe.

I just remember him talking about it in that documentary. In the documentary. And he said he couldn't believe she was saying it, so he was just silent. But if you watch it, it seems like he's furious and just trying to not say something angry. The key to Mike Tyson is that he always seemed like he was furious. Yeah. And he even talked about it once. He goes, I'm just mad. I'm mad at my dog. I'm mad at everything.

And that's when he was at the top of the heap, man. But now he's like this peaceful, friendly guy. He had to overcompensate for all that. That's why he needs 40,000. It was all therapy, right? He has to have like 20 therapists. He beat up the first seven of them.

I mean, to be a great fighter, you have to be able to look at yourself. You have to be able to look at your skills. It doesn't mean you still can't make horrific mistakes, but you have to be able to look at yourself. It's the only way you get any better. The best fighters have an understanding. Even if they have ego problems, they still have a pretty good understanding of who they are.

And that can benefit you if you use it i'm sure he probably went through therapy but he didn't necessarily he could probably have figured it out on his own just because he's a smart guy he's a smart guy that grew up in a horrible horrible way where the first love he had was an old boxing trainer that turned him into a murderer and that was the first love that guy experienced his life was horrible man and from him being adopted by custom auto when he was a little kid and having extreme physical gifts as well it was this perfect storm dude they said when he was 13 he weighed 190 pounds teddy atlas used to bring him to boxing these smoker events and they were like yeah he's fucking 13.

And they put him in with a 16-year-old, because nobody wanted to believe that a 13-year-old could be jacked like that. Well, when Jay was 13 years old, he was like 220. I think it's a different kind of way. Was it a different build? I was knocking motherfuckers out. He was built like a goddamn tank. Yeah, that's not a 13-year-old you want to fight.

No. Also, fun fact fact he is the reason mike tyson solely is the reason why now if you're on tv for even five minutes they start scurrying about your tattoos being covered or can you get a release for them all because when he came on a was it the hangover movie the company that did or the tattoo artist that did his face tattoo sued for like i think one for like millions of dollars. Really? What?

That's so crazy. How is that possible? For doing the movie? Because they used the image. Because they used that person's artwork without them. But once you put a tattoo on somebody- Nope. It's your own.

Nope. You claim part ownership of that person now? It makes tattoos so much gayer. It does. I'm going to walk around with some fucking dudes. Oh yeah. This is when I married a lesbian in Alaska. This is when I became, I guess, partners in life with a guy in Montreal who spoke French.

Jay, how many tattoos do we have in common? We have the same. You guys have a bunch of tattoos in common? One, two, three. Three. Yeah, we have the Dave Smith. What do you guys have? Here we go.

Oh, we're doing the same thing. What's happening here? There's a lot of people that can't hear this. Yeah. So what are these things? This is half hearts. No, it's half hearts. And it says Dave and Smith.

Wow. Yeah. So you are on their arm. Yeah. Did that make you uncomfortable? I did not consent. He's too much of a pussy to get a tattoo. So we did it for him.

Ah, that's actually cute. He's very Jewish. That's real love, man. You guys have to stay friends for life now. I know. I was going to be out the door when they got this tattoo. You know, girls want to get married. Guys do that. He's very Jewish. That's real love, man. You guys have to stay friends for life now. I know. I was going to be out the door when they got this tattoo. You know, girls want to get married. Guys do that.

All right, bro. I'm your bro. I'm fucking tattooing your name on my leg, bro. You got to do mine. Tattooed on your fucking leg, bro. Hey, you can have as many guys tattooed on your leg as you want. I don't care. I'm not jealous.

But I want my fucking name on your leg, bro. There was a WorldStar video yesterday of a guy catching a girl cheating in a hotel. And the other guy's like naked in the hallway. And she's like in her underwear. And the guy's just screaming at her. There's a guy there. And she just fucking keeps going. And he's like, I got my fucking, your name tatted on me.

And she's doing all that. I'm sorry. Calm down. I'm sorry. And when she just decides that she doesn't give a shit anymore, she goes, goes well no one told you to get my name tatted on you now you'll get a fucking asshole with my name have you ever done anything for a girl like a tattoo yeah you know so i have three chinese characters here this is back when i was young enough when a tattoo shop was able to convince you which i think they still do to people that chinese characters can say or

spell anything which is just not true uh like but it's supposed to be letters so i got when i believed chinese characters was cms they're still there uh they're just blended into something else but it was sharilyn marie sleeter was uh was the name of my girlfriend that's a terrible name yeah yeah cheryl sleeter she sounds like she's got shit teeth infamous no yeah yeah cheryl sleeter she sounds like she's got shit teeth infamous no good teeth cheryl sleeter sounds like she got fucking teeth pointing in every which direction hot chick actually but uh just i mean coming from like a real pack of dummies like real stupid and so stupid in fact was she that i got those tattooed on me thank god and chinese characters cms her mom didn't like me, and I came,

and I couldn't wait to tell her mom that I got this tattoo. I go, look what I got for your daughter. And she's like, what is that? I go, CMS. And she goes, what's that? I go, your daughter's initials, Sherilyn Marie Sleater. And she goes, her mom, she was so happy to go, that's not your name.

My girlfriend was so dumb, she didn't know her name. She just made up the Marie part. Her name is Cheryl Lynn Sleater. And it was that, so I got a wrong tattoo of a girlfriend. That's really dumb. She was with me while I got it and didn't know her own middle name. Sat there confidently

like, make sure you get the M good. That tattoo is wild, large patches of America. That the m good yeah that tattoo is wild large patches of america that is that tattoo that tattoo like that that's that fucked up yeah bodies so many lives oh yeah so many people so many people have made horrendous choices yeah i had uh my first tattoo it just said uh lu dog i gotta cover it up but ludo l-u-d-o-g-g nobody has ever called me lu dog um except for afterwards sarcastically to make fun of me they're like all right lu dog but you were so psyched to go tell your friends hey guys you're calling me lu dog well it was

weird because i only had 70 and i was like all right dude i have 70 i'm 18 i just turned 18 i was like i'm getting a fucking tattoo and i i was like i'm getting a loo dog no matter what but i gotta get like a little design underneath it no matter what so i said loo dog and script and then underneath it it was it was tribal like me almost it almost looked like like antlers like tribal antlers but it was because i was poor it's something you would like scribble on a binder while you're boarding class. Dude, it was a tramp stamp. It was a tiny tramp stamp underneath Lou Dog for no reason. Were you underage?

No, I was 18. I was underage. That's why mine is the word J in Old English, and it is so high up here just so my mom wouldn't see it. Sold immediately. Sold immediately. You have to hide it under your t-shirt. We were both fat kids, and I had a a big fat arm so this little tiny shit tattoo

my big fat arm and your j is so tiny it's so tight is it still there yeah oh man it's bad it's bad yeah it's that yeah and then more chinese stuff here and then a pam anderson barbed wire around my arm but i've just accepted it as all my tattoos have some shitty dumb story in high school my friend jimmy was the first one to get tattooed and he got this really shitty like tiger on his arm with his name in case he forgets his name you know i think we're like 18 at the time maybe 17 and he came home and uh he had like a little band-aid peeking out underneath the shirt his mom started screaming at him and if i'm i hope i'm not i'm fucking this story up i hope i'm not but But I remember thinking that. Like, wow, he was the first.

Like, everyone's got to get a tattoo eventually. Like, the idea that someone's going to draw on you permanent. Like, ooh, forever? You got to keep, like, it's a ball's move. It's funny it never really hit me like that hard. I know, and it's true. And by the way, I wish, you know, talk about having a time machine. If you can go back and just tell your teenage self, just wait until even your late 20s.

You're going to have a lot of good years with awesome tattoos, or you're going to make this decision now and have the rest of your life with some pretty shitty ones. You have no money when you're 18. There's no money for good tattoos. You're probably from some, unless you live in New York. I have $20 tattoos on me, for sure. I was offended by the drawing because I'm an artist. And I was looking at it.

I was like, this is so bad. The guy just traced it. I mean, the guy was not an artist at all. Whoever did the tattoo. He was fucking just a guy who got a job doing tattoos. Who learned how to use the gun. Exactly. That's it.

He just traced it. On my leg, I have a dragon. Like another tribal dragon. When I was 19 in Florida. In Miami. We went on a boardwalk tattoo shop with Chinese people in the front. Don't ever get,

never get a tattoo, unless you're in China and they're using the old like taffy technique where they fucking do that. Don't go to like a shit bodega tattoo shop because that's what I got

and it's all blended together now. And the guys had no idea. It's painful as shit. They don't know what they're doing. The other problem with it is it's really painful. They go too deep. They pull it out.

Well, that's another thing about henna. Ladies, or guys who are into henna tattoos, if you get those henna tattoos, like in Thailand or something like that, sometimes it's not really henna. It's hair dye, and the hair dye can be poisonous to your skin. It's not good stuff.

You didn't even die getting a real tattoo. Well, I don't know if you can die, but I think it fucks you up. Getting painted on with hair dye can be poisonous to your skin. It's like, it's not good stuff. You didn't even die getting a real tattoo. Well, I don't know if you can die, but I think it fucks you up. Getting painted on with hair dye? Find out what, I think there was like a warning about this that I read. They're saying don't get henna from places that aren't using real henna, because they use cheap hair dye. They could have just stopped at don't get henna. Yeah, you could have said that.

That's a weird one, right? It's like, I want a tattoo, but not really looks like a it looks like a spray on tans wearing off yes it just looks disgusting ppd is in it whatever black kind of often contains ppd at high levels and when it applied to skin can cause chemical burns and allergic reactions and i don't know what ppd is i'm trying to find that chemical burns yeah you got to be careful out there kids don't be pouring chemicals on you drill holes in your skin and pump some ink in there it's apparently there had to be like uh some errors made when they were coming up with like like the first tattoos people's arms were fucking falling off their body i'm pretty sure the first tattoos were like in africa carving shit into your arm or something yeah like a scarring

thing yeah when someone's a great tattoo artist i'm always blown it's the most sloppy uncomfortable the fact that i couldn't do anything near that with like a pencil and art supplies and a set yeah you know flat surface like one meant to have to do that is great when someone's amazing at it it makes no sense no it doesn't because they always also they're still just going like just scribbling basically it looks like and then they swipe it away and it's like they're mad at you i found the craziest fucking page jamie i'm gonna send it to you this is a lady and she does paint on people's face that makes it look like they have extra eyeballs and the the paint is so accurate you're looking at a video of it you're like what the fuck am i looking at i have to say oh is it the asian chick because she

makes herself into different do that that chick is fucking talented what she does with makeup and she got in trouble because she did blackface but she doesn't have it she didn't do blackface she made herself into like an african nubian princess it was the most amazing thing in the world is this her but it it still has the outline. It's the white outline. She was shucking and jiving. You got it? Mimi Choi?

I'm a Nubian princess. How do you talk? Here, we'll look at it. Her name is Mimi Choi. This is the shit she does. Whoa. Look at that. Dude, that's insane.

Yeah. Your head, she's got eyeballs drawn all over her face. This is Joe Rogan's perfect woman yeah well that's yeah that's like a tool video yeah it does dude that's a she's a fractal that is something you would see if you were on some serious drugs this is the kind of shit you got to pretend to enjoy if you want to fuck a hot asian chick her uh i'm super into new dance like look at that oh this is a

different chick than i was thinking of but yeah i guess it's crazy it's crazy if you you go scroll down and look at some of the eyeball ones where the extra eyeballs are below her face like oh jesus christ that's it's a fucking freak out it's a fucking freak out yeah yeah that's so weird yeah it's wild it's that same sort of level of tattoo art that the really high level tattoo guy have you seen that guy steve butcher i've showed you that guy before right if that guy walked into a room i would think that it's a monster and i would kill it yeah you're like what the fuck that's terrifying someone drugged you yeah yeah you would say oh my god satan is real i've been running around arrogant thinking that satan's not real Yeah, this is Steve Butcher. Steve Butcher does insane shit, man.

He did one of me. Somebody got me tattooed on their leg and it's fucking incredible. How do you feel about that, Joe? So weird. Don't do that. Don't do that. You can't say it to the guy when he sends you the fucking... Stop. Just stop. A guy got Legion of

Skanks tattooed on his face and you look at it and you go, that's awesome that you want to do that, but man, maybe you shouldn't have. He had a bunch of other face tattoos, though. It wasn't the first one. It's true. Look at that Kobe Bryant. Scroll up a bit. Look at that Kobe Bryant.

He's got the t-shirt in his mouth. Get the fuck out of here, man. That might as well be a photograph. That's crazy. Look at the resolution. Look at the sweat. If you said to me, what's the one thing you can't draw I'd say black people sweat somehow I was if I was throwing that we just have white drips down his family like bukkake make that

bigger Jamie that guy did that with needles man I mean that's insane how good that is yeah somehow it doesn't seem nearly as weird to get athletes tattooed on you as it does comedians no it does for them i'm sure kobe's running around going damn dude it's a little different though because people grow up on like i mean but that's not true dude because i the connection that people feel with like comics and podcasts it's pretty i get it you know it's like we don't want want the responsibility we want to do it but we don't want the responsibility i don't want the responsibility of being your shin i 100 want my fucking face tattooed on people so anybody out

there i will i'll give you a free legion of skanks t-shirt you show me there's the dude wow it's a good tattoo as long as it says says Lou Dog. Yeah. That is crazy. That is as accurate as a photograph. That's my fucking face. That's my face. That's fucking intense, Joe. He's amazing. Yeah, I don't remember what that's from. I was probably making a point.

Whatever it was, you were right. That's the problem with me, man. You get any one clip of me or my face and you could make decisions. That's an incredible tattoo. That's the first time Joe saw Ari's butthole. Yeah. That was the face. There's no way I can remember that far back.

I think Ari's... You've said so many times. I think he's in process of getting his butthole fixed. Is he going to get surgery? Yeah, yeah. I think so, yeah. Thank God. Is it the surgery?

He's been bleeding since I've known him. Yeah. It's bizarre that he just lives life like that. That's a problem that would shut me off from going out to the world. What causes those things? Hemorrhoids. What causes hemorrhoids? I got hemorrhoids working out because I wasn't breathing

when I was lifting weights. And I was just just clenching my butthole and it just popped out like squeezing a balloon animal. You've made blisters inside your butthole from squeezing it together. For a while.

Well, this is actually how we got introduced to Ari's butthole, was I was complaining about me having hemorrhoids. And on Legion of Skanks, we opened up my butthole to show them. I showed all the guys. Lewis did it. We didn't all open up his butthole. And Ari said, that's not a hemorrhoid. And we're like, what?

That's a hemorrhoid. You call that a hemorrhoid. And we're like, what? That's a hemorrhoid. You call that a hemorrhoid? Step aside, little lady. Let me show you a hemorrhoid. And it was like the, you know, in Stranger Things, the fucking monster, the way the face opens up. That's what Ori's asshole does. It looks like Homer Simpson's mouth. Yeah, remember like the blade?

Remember the blade vampire mouths when they evolved? And they opened like Predator. Like Predator's mouth. It looks like it's baggy, but just because it opens a lot. What way it opens. How does he get away with what he gets away with? Because he keeps tissues in his asshole at all times. And if you're with Ari, at one point he might just throw a bloody tissue at you.

I get staying away from the doctors. I get it. But if you're actively bleeding out of your asshole, I'd be on an operating table, face down, quick. Quick. I think it's a real pain in the ass to get the surgery. I liked it. And I think he's dealing with it as is.

Yeah, I know, but I mean, it's... I'm glad he's going to get it fixed, though. It's troublesome. When your friend... How many times did that guy send you a picture of bloody toilet paper? I've seen way too much. Way too much. Dude, at Skankfest, he was...

I've seen it thrown at people. The most impressive thing to me is that Ari historically has just crushed ass. Like hot chicks walking around with confidence. He's a brilliant guy. He's confident walking around with napkins just crushed ass. Like hot chicks walking around. He's a brilliant guy. He's confident walking around with napkins up his ass. He's also weirdly handsome. You don't think you see him. You're like, all right, that's a fucking goofy, camel-faced fucking asshole.

But then you look at him again. He kind of has dreamy eyes. Dreamy. He's in good shape. I don't know, man. He got in good shape for Sober October. He's a fucking animal. I knew that he was going to be a real problem. He was trying to win that goddamn thing. That's not know, man. He got in good shape for Sober October. He's a fucking animal. I knew that he was going to be a real problem.

He was trying to win that goddamn thing. That's not fair, dude. You can't fucking have an athletic competition with all of your out-of-shape fat friends. It's not fair. It's certainly not fair. I knew it. But they were willing to do it. I'm like, okay.

Good luck. I'm like, look, we're going gonna work out seven days seven days six hours a day can you do that we're gonna have to do that we're gonna see who drops we're gonna this is not smart but i'm gonna say because they're sober ari came the closest ari get close he got close he went hard he went fucking hard if ari was in shape going into it he would probably would have at least what a lot worse. How do you win? This is last year. Last year was the only

time we made it a competition. And I think it's better off not being a competition, honestly. I think the first year we had to do 15 yoga classes over the month. 15 90-minute hot yoga classes, which is annoying. It's annoying. You don't want to do it, but you have to do it. And you get in there all right number seven like and you're starting to think how

many more days are there i'm gonna have to do a bunch of i want to have to do nine in a row so i did yoga nine fucking days in a row but it was no competition but we just had a requirement right and everybody met the requirement we felt good that we accomplished the goal together but then everybody started talking crazy they wanted to do a competition and tom was like yeah let's wear these uh heart rate monitors i'm like okay all right we're all gonna die so what was the how did you how would it already have won like what was the it's a point system it's uh based on 80 of your heart rate right so you're it finds your max heart rate, and then 80% of that gets you X amount of points, and 90% of that gets you Y amount of points. I forget what it is.

And over a course of time. Yeah, but you can't really maintain 90%. 90% is like these sprints. The real smart move is to stay at 80 and go long term. So we were doing these cardio workouts it's all just in your head because it's it's not hard to do it's not hard to do an elliptical machine it's an easy motion so it's all in your head and all you do is you wear this fucking heart rate monitor and what i did is i watched the murder scene from john wick where he goes into

the russian bathhouse over and over again on a loop for five hours. I just stayed on the fucking elliptical machine for five hours watching that scene. I'd get to the end of it and I'd rewind it and I'd watch it again and I'd be like, and I'd have the music pumped up and I just did it for fucking six

hours a day, seven hours a day. Six hours a day? That's psychotic. We were having a competition. It's almost to the point where it's probably not healthy to work out that much it's not healthy there's a good excuse

for it well we were competing yeah we were going to hell we were going to hell I'm like we're going to hell there's no way Bert Kreischer

was doing anything like that Bert Kreischer was the one who talked the most shit so I would think about him while I was getting tired and I was like there's no way bitch there's no way you're gonna die we're all gonna die let's just go we're gonna go

till there's no sleep is there an advantage to starting off being like one of the fattest guys because you can lose more and stuff no no no your body's gonna have a hard time recovering but 80 of your max heart rate is different than 80 of my max heart rate so technically i don't have to work as hard as you. You'd have to run seven on a treadmill. I could run at a 4.5. No, I think it's based on your age as well. So the max heart rate is different.

So it might actually be easier because you're just used to doing it. It's all about your body being used to doing it. Yeah, if you're used to working out that much. 80% is only like 140 beats a minute you know or maybe a little bit more like 146 beats per minute that's not that bad like you can kind of do that for a long time you just what's like just watch something that's engaging and make sure you keep breathing at that rate and you get you get trapped in whatever you're watching and for me it was fights too that was big one. I just put on some great fights.

So I've got a TV right in front of me, and I'm on this fucking elliptical machine watching fights. And I would drink gigantic jugs of water with Himalayan salt and all these different hydrators. That keeps your heart rate up? No, to keep you hydrated. Keep you alive. Oh, okay. I sweat. For the sweet, sweet deliciousness of water?

I sweat so much that i set off the fire alarm what i filled the room up with so much steam that the fire alarm went off i filmed it good i put it on youtube or on uh what is on instagram but it was ridiculous dave you make me so mad dave's never worked out a day in his fucking life no there's got to be a few but he looks good yeah he looks good he's handsome my point was ari got close he got close to me he wasn't even working out that's how crazy ari is and then you have to deal with the fact that you're doing this publicly and you can't allow ari to beat you at this thing i wasn't allowing burt if ari beat me i would have said mal man i would i would have said wow wow, man. I would have said, wow, man. That is really, really impressive.

But Bert, there was no fucking way. If Bert wins, you have to quit? No way. Tom, if Tom beat me, I'd be like, dude, you did it, man. Wow. I wish I won, but you won. Bert, no way. There's no way.

We're going to hell. You just leave. We never hear from you again. Going to the dark lands. I'm wearing that monorammy all day long. I'm just going to be lifting weights everywhere I go. How far back was Bert in the standings? For last! Of course it came in last.

He's barely working out. He's talking shit. He wins! He wins! Was it a marathon he ran or something? Half marathon? No, no, no. He ran a full marathon. That was pretty impressive. That's insane. Bert's tough. All bullshit aside, Bert talks tremendous amounts of shit.

That's why I didn't Want to lose to him But Burt's tough I think he also talks shit To sort of set the expectation For himself Because if he says it He's going to fucking Have to stick to it

It's a very Lewis thing Lewis speaks very We always talk about He speaks very Declarative about things And I'm like Why do you do that Because I hold myself

To that standard If I say I'm going to Lose weight publicly And then I don't Everyone gets to call me A fucking phony And if I keep it in my head i probably will be more likely to skip the gym or whatever else it is so that's really wise that's really wise that's a good strategy yeah if you fail it works for better podcasting it's also true and it's like public

acknowledgement of your failings when it comes to like little goals that you set for you it's like lets everybody know hey man this is not easy to do well we're comics and yeah dude we live in a social media generation it's all like you need that i need people to tell me dude you're losing weight and when they stop telling me that i get fat again and then they're like oh you're getting fat and then i start losing weight again i and i'm it's almost that the attention is sort of what motivates me i need something beyond just being healthy how much time have you spent researching like different methods of losing weight and how much you looked into intermittent fasting yeah i've done intermittent i've done i've been obsessed i want to try that i've never i still

don't fully understand what it is it's simple you just have a small feeding window like uh for me i i like to fast i feel at my best when I'm fasting 14 hours. So what I'll do is, you know, if I eat at 8 p.m., then I eat at 10 a.m. the next day. It's not hard. I was doing 12 p.m. to 7 p.m. I was eating. I could eat from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m. But I wasn't really eating healthy things when I was doing it. Why, Lewis?

Why? When I was doing intermittent fasting, I was eating shitty. What I'm better at is if I just cut out most of the carbs. I'll eat fruit and shit like that. But if I cut out all the carbs in the burgers and the fucking bread and the pasta and the rice, I can manage that because I can get creative. And if I'm in the mood for pizza, I can figure out a low-carb version of pizza. You know, cauliflower crust or whatever it is.

Oh, gay. Yeah. You know what you should do? Come pizza. It's really delicious. Listen, do all those things but also lift weights yeah i have been i just started again like two weeks ago that's that's a big one but lifting weights is huge it burns a shit ton of calories and more importantly when your body has more muscle then your body burns more calories so you could eat the same amount of food and you

lose weight you could do all that or lewis i know you just fist fight a comedian yeah you'll lose body fat. Joe, you eat like tons of meat. I eat a lot of meat. Have you gotten gout stuff ever? No, I don't think gout's from meat. Isn't that like a wine disease? Where do you get gout from?

Meat. A lot of meat and beer. I don't even know. It's in your feet? It's in your toe. It's your fucking right big toe. It sucks. At least you're sitting in a chair for too long and eating too much meat. think it's all those things you can get your heel too doesn't it fuck your heels

maybe i don't know i only had it hit i had it hit twice ever in my toe it was awful well you had gout yeah but i was like and by the way it would hurt so much that when i went to the doctor i was like i'll take because there's like you know you can get medicine for it every day you take so you don't get it and i would have absolutely taken that's how much it hurt and they take so you don't get it. And I would have absolutely taken that as how much it hurt. And they go, no, you don't have a condition. You know what I mean? I think I just went to a festival of concerts one weekend. You were a little gouty. Here's a definition.

I gouted up. Here's a definition. Gout occurs when urate crystals accumulate in your joint, causing inflammation and intense pain of a gout attack. Urate crystals can form when you have high levels of uric acid in your blood. Your body produces uric acid when it breaks down

purines, substances that are found naturally in your body. Yeah, I got piss blood. That still didn't answer my question. What's your main cause?

Here it is. I got pee blood. Ease up on the uric acid. Certain foods, meat, poultry, seafood. Hmm,

chemical compounds that are high amounts in certain foods like meat, poultry, and seafood. That's interesting. I think you also have to be fat.

Hypouremia. Do non-fat people get gout? Yeah, my friend was not fat. Hyperuricemia. It sounds like something that a fat person should only get, though. Dude, I lied. I was on a flight yesterday, and I lied because we were on the runway for two and a half hours. And I was just getting really impatient.

I was like, I'm fucking hungry. And then I made up that I was hyperglycemic to get food. I literally, I buzzed the thing, and they wouldn't come. So eventually I started just like waving like a madman. And Mike Fanoia, who's a friend of ours, a comic, he was a few rows up. This is how he knew I was on a plane, because I was being a lunatic. And I was like, we've been on here forever. I'm hyperglycemic. I need food right i need food right now man like go get me orange juice it was the most

fucking embarrassing thing like here suck a lemon keep getting me things dude two and a half hours out of god when you're angry on a plane that's not going anywhere it's i'm blown away by the amount of rules like we've been at the gate for like two hours before. I'm like, can I just go back into the airport? And they're like, no. It doesn't make any sense to you. Can you leave and not take the flight? I'm off. I'm going. I think you can.

Unless the door is closed. But it's a big deal. If you want to leave, that's a big deal. But as a Puerto Rican, if you do leave Lewis, you have to twerk on your own. I don't know if you watch those videos when people leave planes. They go, fuck y'all. Oh, fuck. They always twerk their way out. You will get put on a list for sure.

They will check up your asshole every time you fly on a plane. Well, Lewis already has that problem. Well, me and Kim flew. Am I guessing? Do you think that they would probably check you? I don't know. If you decided, I want off the plane right now. If you make a stop.

Yeah, probably. And they have to pull the plane back into, they'll be like, this guy? That's my guess. I don't think you can get off. I don't think you're not going to get off unless you make a scene. You won't get off once it's away from the gate. I'm talking about when they stay at the gate and they never actually pull away from like the. When you're on a plane, you're just hoping everyone can keep it together.

That's what you're hoping. Just hoping everyone can keep it together. What's your craziest plane experience? I've never had a bad one. I hate flying and I've had plenty of weird ones two dudes did almost get after it once on a plane over Overhead space this one guy was claiming the space overhead. There's only four or five arguments. You could have on a plane over its base middle person gets One guy was on this side, right? But his shit was all filled up.

So he opens up the bin on the other side and puts his bag in and sits down. And the guy who was behind him, that was his side. He goes, hey, man, that's my storage space. He goes, no, it's not. He goes, it's storage space. I put my bag in there first. I was ahead of you. I put my bag in there.

He's like, no, you have yours, and I have mine, and yours is full, and he goes to grab his shit. And the guy goes, hey, man, don't touch my fucking bag. That guy's right, by the way. The guy who took the other storage space, it's not your personalized storage space. Fuck off, dude. It's just storage space. Sorry.

Well, in first class, I wish one of those degenerate fucks from the back would try to put some shit in my storage space. I flew first class one time. They almost went after it, though. The waitress had to cut them off. She cut them off. We're in the air. The waitress?

We're in the air, and they're going at it again. So it's like they were going at it when the plane was about to take off, and then they got through it. And then in the air, they were going at it again. The waitress, the stewardess, she cuts them off, wouldn't let them have alcohol. But it was tense. So it's like you have to keep an eye through it. In the air, they were going at it again. The waitress, the stewardess, she cuts them off, wouldn't let them have alcohol, but it was tense. It's like you have to keep an eye on it. I was going to say, did you keep your eye on it the whole time? She made me.

The lady made me. She's like, you're going to help me, right? I'm like, Jesus Christ, lady. I don't think anything's going to happen. It seemed like you're all right. Yesterday, the woman behind me, as I was complaining, she was like this. I was like, yeah, you know.

He was like, what do you want to do? I was like, some orange juice, some coffee, maybe a kind bar, that'd be nice. And the woman behind me goes, she said like, loud enough for me to hear, she goes,

just get him some orange juice. And I turned around, I was like, mind your business, lady. Shut the fuck up, lady. Hey, what are those guys, those undercover dudes that are on planes?

Air marshals? Air marshals, right? So if you're an air marshal and you see these two guys getting after it a little bit, just talking shit, grabbing bags, just being dicky to each other, when do you move in? Because you don't want everybody to know you're an air marshal.

You're like, they don't have a bomb. You guys got to work this out. You fucking pussies are just going to push each other. You guys aren't terrorists. What am I doing here? You guys are just an architect and a fucking... If somebody's willing to have a fight on a plane and give up their entire fuck it's such a pain in the ass

what are you going to deal with to get into a fist fight on a plane I don't know how many different crimes it is but they have to pull this fucking plane over you are fucked dude

you have to really want to fight somebody in order to do that because you'll deal with a lot of shit before you get to that point on a plane you're going to like

Guantanamo or something and they arrest you you're fucked you're fucked you see that lady smack her boyfriend in the head? The guy gets up. He's trying to leave. And she's smacking him. And throws the laptop.

And yeah, as he's walking down the aisle. Yeah. I didn't see that. It sounds ridiculous. Wait, who threw the laptop? They're in the air, right? They're in the air, right? Yeah, yeah.

What else is going down? The lady's screaming. She starts throwing the laptop at her boyfriend. Yeah, she's like, you made shit. She's funny. I don't know if she catch her boyfriend cheating on the plane or something but she got super loud and it became like a huge scene where everybody was listening to her talking to him was like oh my god this is so crazy i mean when they were dragging the asian guy out of the

plane's one of the funniest videos that guy didn't even do anything he's going i want to go home he just wanted to go he started chanting i want to go home but It was so sad. They would legitimately have to drag me. If they were trying to get me to give up my seat, they would have to drag me out of the plane. Imagine thinking that they could do that. Imagine thinking they could do that. We're just going to grab you physically and take you off the show. Like, come on. You're on the plane.

The plane's about to take off. We're going to grab you and just pull you out of there. What? Did he say where he went? Oh, I think they probably just settled with him. They probably just gave him a ton of money and said, shut the fuck up. Because at what point? It is your private business.

They do have security. I mean, at what point does somebody want to leave your private business? I'm sure it's within the contract that you fucking, the terms of service for the ticket, that they can do that. Do you think so? Were the guys already sitting down? Well, he said no after they asked him to leave a lot of times but so i don't know what the law is i mean but if it's his ticket and he bought the ticket you can just decide if the terms of service it's so ridiculous exactly you're right

louis that's the thing it's the terms of service dumb line they can do anything they want anything they want well what happened is they got destroyed on social media for like weeks afterward and they apologized and we're like we're changing our policy and all of this sort of like starbucks that's why yeah don't even get me fucking started joe starbucks says officially thank god that guy wasn't black i fucking i live in harlem and the starbucks in harlem i mean it looks like a bus depot it's crazy it's just lines of people just sitting there charging their cell phones, not ordering anything. Because their new policy is everyone who walks in is a customer. Yeah, they're a customer as soon as they walk in the doors.

This is what's hilarious. The fucking, all, it happened because of one bad PR thing. Philly. In Philly, when these two black dudes were just trying to sit down and chill out at Starbucks, and someone decided to remove them from the premises. Yeah, but look. I'm with Dave. I'm giving him bait.

I know that you have opinions on this. All I'm saying is a libertarian perspective is They might have been dicks. Starbucks might have been dicks, but what I know is they asked him to leave. They called the cops. The cops weren't going to arrest him. The cops told him, you have to leave. And they still refused to leave. They called the cops. The cops weren't going to arrest him. The cops told him, you have to leave. And they still refused to leave.

And also, those guys. And then they let him go. They literally just cuffed him, took him to the station, and then were like, go. They didn't charge him with anything. They also tried to order for a loco. So. They were out. Okay, but here's what I know.

I know that we don't know what happened. Yes. No, I agree with that completely. You don't know. It was a human interaction. You don't know who the cunt was there. It could have been them. It could have been the person working. I know what we don't know what happened. Yes. No, I agree with that completely. You don't know. It was a human interaction. You don't know who the cunt was there. It could have been them. It could have been the person working.

I know what fucking happened. I know exactly what happened. What do you think happened? These two guys walked in. They didn't buy anything. They were like, oh yeah, you guys got to buy something. They were like, no, we don't. They were like, well, you got to leave then.

They were like, no, we don't. And it was this weird little Mexican standoff between a fucking dumb idiot Starbucks employee and two dumb idiots that wouldn't leave a Starbucks. Well, here's the difference. Here's the difference. Everything was a Mexican standoff between blacks and some Chinese idiot. Do you think that the influx of homeless people is bad for their business? Do you think it's hurting business at all?

Absolutely. I mean, I understand. Imagine if that one move from that one store, if the wings of the butterfly from that one little incident creates a dip in the value of the company. I feel like people don't want to hang out there as long and you probably buy more shit if you like stay there. There's probably people who go up online a couple times

if they're there, you know, writing. You don't want to write your script on your laptop while a guy's shitting his pants next to you. Yes, and I know we're four morons, but let's solve this. Like why are there so many homeless people and what could be done? I think that's a real tough one. That's like the thing what they used to do is just institutionalize them.

Just fucking grab them and throw them. And there's some problems with that. For sure. Because who decides who's worthy of being institutionalized? We could hunt them at night like Nutria. Do they hunt those at night? Yeah, they just go around with the thing. With the spotlight?

Yeah. Didn't Etel do that on a show? Yeah, he did, yeah. He did that on Insomnia. He went nutria hunting. It's bad out here, man. It's bad. It's getting worse.

We got it in New York, but you guys got it real bad. Dude, you ain't seen shit until you go downtown. Downtown LA makes everything. They post up. Every underpass in LA now, you're subject to see tents. They're all over the place. All over through the valley. Homeless people in LA and New York're subject to see tents. They're all over the place. All over through the valley. Homeless people in LA and New York are pretty friendly, though.

They're not that aggressive. I was in Seattle. Those fuckers will come up to you, and they will go at you. They want money. If you don't give them money, they will give you an attitude about it. Everywhere else. Cleveland, horrible homeless. Every other city besides LA and New York. Yeah. San Fran, horrible, homeless. Like every other city besides- San Fran.

Yeah. San Fran, it's like- Aggressive. The Canadian homeless are the shittiest and most aggressive. Do you remember this when you were a kid? Not like this. How much homelessness was around? When we were kids, you would see those boxes on the side of the road, and it was usually someone who was so fucked up that they just couldn't go anywhere, and they'd have a box,

and they smelled like a box and they smelled like shit they were covered up but we're seeing like different levels did you grow up suburban yeah yeah i mean i grew up in brooklyn i saw homeless people all the time but i never saw anything and i haven't seen it in person but i've never seen anything like the camps and stuff that i've seen like that's insane yeah that's the new thing yeah that's what's new it's like the underpasses too when i when i first started coming here in 94, there was never any tents on the underpasses. At least I don't remember there being. I think now there's almost, some people think it's cool.

I live in East Village, New York, and there is so many kids that you're like, you're a phone call away from solving this problem. You kind of want to be out here. They're always there by NYU and shit, but they're kind of just like they're it's literally like some it's the heroin kids they all think punk rockers 20 year old 19 year old white kids who are clearly on drugs it's like 20 though but you feel like 20 that's what I'm saying but I don't think that those kids are a phone well so I bet you those kids are from really really fucked up situations at home and they're into drugs and some I think more often than not they're probably dealing with some

fucked up shit at home you don't end up on the streets to to you know rebel against your mom your good mom and dad most of the time i'm sure it happens also watching a guy like you know who just looks like as cruddy as homeless can be like charging his phone on one of those stations is pretty like everyone just that's what we have in new york where's your address for billing yeah how is this working a That's what I'm saying. A lot of those kids have that, too. Yeah, who's billing? How's Verizon get you the bill every month?

There's no prepaid phones anymore. This isn't being for country. What they installed in New York is on every corner now, they have a big station. And on that station, you could do literally free phone calls. You could just dial a number. It's a speakerphone phone call. You could charge your phone. And it's like a Wi-Fi station.

So everyone on the street has wi-fi in new york and you're like this is a great idea except now there's always a homeless person literally plugged into it and that's now their power source for their little homeless thing it i don't think they had the screens they were jerking off outside they didn't take the screens out of the screens off there was about a week after they came out where you'd see regular people using them and now it's only homeless people like nobody else touches them if you had a look at a graph of all the crimes that were committed using burner phones like 7-eleven burner phones like how many 7-eleven burner

phones are used by poor people and how many of them are used to commit crimes like serious espionage like there's no in between like what is the bridge kids and international spies a fucking giant international crime tool that goes unreported burner phones like 7-eleven burner phones where you get it it's in the plastic you pop it open it's got an hour in it who the fuck who the fuck is using those things some of them are poor people it's getting i think it's getting more and more exclusively criminal yeah even it's like leaving an airplane it's like leaving an airplane if you buy a 7-eleven phone you're on a list but you could go to like verizon

and get a bottom of the line phone that's affordable that's better than anything that existed like five years ago like where the where technology is now you don't have to spend, like what's a cheap, what's a cheap Android phone? Oh yeah, you go to MetroPCS right now, get a free Android phone, sign up for $40, and then you're out the door

and then you never have to pay it again because it's prepaid. Yeah, so you just have a certain amount of minutes, right? Well no, it's unlimited. I have MetroPCS guys.

And so if you're a homeless, my friends make fun of me. Do you have the general insurance too? You just do everything, it's unlimited i have i've measured pcs guys and i uh so if you're a homeless make fun of me do you have the general insurance too you just do everything it's a phone call hey i pay the lowest online rights online i get everything unlimited fuck off i don't understand why i would ever switch besides for the fact that my friends make fun of me also your phone works in places it works everywhere yeah you're doing some sort of a roaming thing i guess no there's no roaming there's no over over just nothing it's just better there's it really sounds like we're doing a fucking ad read for metro pcs right now it's one of the ufc sponsors they really i know it is but people make fun of you like you're hot garbage

you're gonna not tell people yeah i'm confused now the truth because you screenshot every time i screenshot something it says metro pcs in the corner i can't hear the truth because you screenshot anytime I screenshot something it says Metro PCS in the corner I can't post pictures on Instagram you scratch it out and put Boost Mobile you add it with something that's not even that much better

Boost Mobile there's certain things that even if they're great they're embarrassing oh yeah right even if they're great it's embarrassing

that it's great like I think Hyundai has a problem with these new cars that they're making so they start calling them the Genesis they stopped calling them Hyundais.

Because people are like, no, no, Hyundai is that car that costs, it's real cheap, but it runs forever. That's a Hyundai. They're like, no, no, no, Hyundai is luxury. We got this luxury. And they're like, nope, nope, can't have both. Yeah, they got the can of both. Yeah, Metro PCS, even if it's the best service.

You know, like the problem is like anytime anything's a bargain, even if it really is a great deal, and Metro PCS seems like a great deal. It is. It does. Anytime a thing's a bargain, people don't want it. Some people want the shit that costs a lot and is hard to get. When I was a kid, I remember I just wouldn't get sneakers that weren't like Nikes or like

... Yeah. Even if they were comfortable sneakers, even if they were more expensive, it didn't matter. You felt like a loser. Yeah. I felt like a fucking idiot. You got home every day. You'd be like a rebel if you went Adidas. Now you wear grocery store sneakers?

I don't give a shit now. It's funny how important it is when you're younger, though. It's very important. Because anything that could get you just ridiculed when you were young, you had to be always conscious of. You had to always be aware of like you had to always be aware of what could fuck up your day there's not enough of a delineation between shitty stuff and like the mid-range stuff but i think like high-end stuff tends to be like better quality and stuff oh yeah i used to always shit on that with clothing and stuff or my ex-wife i remember

always was talking about how much she spent on a purse which i said is ridiculous and she goes but it lasts forever and to some degree i still think it's ridiculous to do that for a purse, which I said is ridiculous. And she goes, but it lasts forever. And to some degree, I still think it's ridiculous to do that for a purse. But my point is, paying for the quality does last longer. It's better. Things are made better sometimes. But the difference between a knockoff fucking Louis Vuitton bag and a bag you'd buy in a store is not much difference. Yeah, it's not like a fake Ferrari.

Right. Yeah, exactly. There's a huge difference between those bags, I think. I don't remember this being a thing. My dad used to... Luke's got exactly. There's a huge difference between those bags, I think. I don't remember this being a thing. My dad used to... Luke's got a pen. He's into fashion. I'm just saying, like, the stitching.

I mean, I did check it was a fashion check. Yeah, there's definitely a huge difference between those bags. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm agreeing. It's a high-end. But I'm just saying, the difference between, like, when you'd buy it like JCPenney versus like a shitty one you'd buy on the street, there's not much difference in quality in

that. You might as well just buy the fake Louis Vuitton. Yeah, but if you were a kid and you didn't have like a good name brand sneaker, you were shamed. Oh, Bobos. Yeah. They call them the Bobos. I had Voits, I remember. When I was in the sixth grade, there were Voits, and that was the last shitty sneaker I ever had.

It was just V-O-I-T. Got them at C.H. Martins, martins which was this i mean as shitty of a department store as you could possibly get and uh kids would just make fun of your shitty sneakers it was terrible i had lottos i had lottos that had velcro on the side that you could change the lotto symbol different colors like a fat fucking cheerleader i was dressed like a cheerleader to change the colors to go my school spirit If you were If you were like a runner Maybe you'd get away With New Balance

Yeah there were People wore New Balance When I was in high school New Balance is like Okay It's okay You're alternative It's a good quality shoe

Okay Marvin Hagler used to wear them Like it's okay If you had A6 gels People thought you had An arch problem Or you were a wrestler A6 yeah

Yeah A6 Oh yeah Wrestlers, A6. Wrestlers love A6 wrestling shoes. By the time high school came around, I knew well enough to just change my style. So I'd start wearing like airwalks and like those shitty skaters. They were like 45 bucks a pop. Ah, good move. Yeah, that was very smart.

So I was a big Jenko Jean guy. Well, Converse Chucks never went out of style. Never. They never went out of style. Also never been comfortable. I love them. You think they're comfortable? I have them, but they're not comfortable. I don't want smooshy.

I don't like smooshy shoes that much. Sometimes I do. But most of the times I like it where it's very little rubber. That's all it is. It's like, imagine that those guys played basketball and those things back in the day. It's kind of crazy. Yeah, that's weird. It doesn't seem like a lot of support.

But maybe that's that they had. Yeah, that's weird. It doesn't seem like a lot of support. But maybe that's that they had stronger ankles that way or something. My mom tried to convince me that Chucks were cool and she was right. But this was when I was in the sixth grade.

Oh, they weren't cool? It wasn't. No, this was when Chucks had, you know, Converse was at the absolute bottom. They fucking, something happened.

Well, here's the thing. It became cool again. But it's not, I feel like Chuck Taylor's were always in style- A little bit. Converse, just as a general brand. If you had just Converse sneakers, dude, you looked like a jerk off.

Wait, there was a difference? Your family better be poor as shit. You better have other problems with your pants and shirt before we even get to those Converse sneakers if you're wearing Converse. Wait, was there a difference? This was a dark period of time, but that period of time is gone, right? They have dope leather and suede ones.

Sure. They have all kinds of different... Who's that guy that Now it's like the look. Now it's like the look. So if someone makes... I mean, Fila's back somehow.

Fat tongue Fila's. And they're back for kids. Yeah. Like for kids, is there one... We don't know. We're so out of the loop. But is there one brand

that's like... Is it still Nike? Like what is... Nike and Jordan still. My daughter my daughter's my daughter's 17 so yeah that's still georgia yeah yeah nike my skate timberlands my kid has sure yeah if it's boat if it's boots it's timberland has got to be like the most successful sneaker campaign in the history of the known universe oh yeah without a doubt there's nothing that has the kind of cachet as a jordan the only thing i'd say maybe probably that sells more than the jordan is the air force one but they're per unit cheaper though right that's no michael jordan nike that's just nike but i think air force one i think of him

no no the air force ones are about their basic that's just you oh it's my yeah well doesn't the air force one have a dude flying through the air, Duncan? No. That's just the Jordans. I'm so white. Nikes are fucking uncomfortable. Every time I wear Nikes, they hurt my feet. I don't like them. That's too vague a statement. These are, what are these?

You're into skate shoes, right? Minimalist sort of. Yeah, yeah, there we go. Slightly flexible. I love those kind of shoes. Yeah. Yeah. And then I wear New Balance. I wear New Balance a lot.

Yeah. Like an old white guy yeah that's a wide foot shoe yeah you're taking a bold risk when you wear those five finger shoes even though they're good for you oh those things are those good i've never put a pair on yeah they're to walk around in life though or just at the gym my friend kyle kingsbury does it but he's also a gorilla he's an enormous guy so he's daring you to say that or he's gonna climb a tree nice guy but he's a former ufc's an enormous guy. So he's daring you to say that, or he's going to climb a tree? No, he's a super nice guy, but he's a former UFC fighter, super nice guy. He wears those fucking five-finger shoes everywhere. I follow Kyle on Instagram.

He's hilarious. He's great. Great, great. Great guy. Is he a white guy? Yeah. I say it only, there was a thing I saw. Married a ring girl, right?

What's her name? Natasha. Yeah, smoking. There was a clip the other week of two guys, two black guys at a tow truck company, I think it is, that start filming this white guy that called them gorillas. But the white guy backing down as they're coming at him. And it's so funny why this guy would have said this.

Like, I almost believe the white guy's excuse, but he is lost. Because I guess he said something like, have one of these two gorillas bring it around. And he definitely meant, they're big guys, so he definitely kind of meant it like that, but it just doesn't look good. So him trying to explain to the guy, like, you call me and my black friends here, gorillas. He's like, no, I meant like strong guys, but he just goes, yeah, I meant strong guys. He goes, my dentist is a black fella.

He just starts giving notes. He starts doing notes. He goes, now that's where you're going wrong, brother. Talking about your dentist being black. Dentist is also. My mailman's a black fella. He comes around... That's way too far removed.

That's not even... I've high-fived him several times. Yeah, I don't even believe him. Is that the thing I brought out? Yeah. A little later. Yes, I do. There's one over here.

Sweet. Sweet. So, I saw the thing where Milo said you guys cucked out on the show the first time. That's why we're going hard on you balances this time. It was worth it to have Ari. When Ari said fuck you to all three of us was the hardest I laughed in that. That made me laugh.

He just got down. And then he goes fuck you. You fucking pussies. Ari is a fucking national treasure. He really is. Dude, Ari at Skank Fest. So Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarlane do a show where they, it's's called would you bang him and they have like four or five female comedians on stage and then a male comedian comes out and does a set and at the end of it the girls have to decide whether or not they

would fuck him based off of you know a multitude of things and the set right so ari does his he just gets naked so like literally takes his clothes off he's like oh i'm doing it it is a set naked and then he starts chasing the female korean comedians around the stage with his dick and trying to hit them. Hold on. Listen. Listen. Before you say anything more, just be aware that other people are going to listen to this.

Yeah. Wait, people listen? And are going to admit it. He's like, got it. Then he held her down against her will for 10 minutes. Thanks for the heads up, Joe. No, this is on camera. This is not a made up thing.

No, it was all part of the theatrical performance. So this was planned and agreed to and consented in advance. Cabaret. So he's chasing these girls around. But not really. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Because he could catch them if he was really chasing them. Oh, obviously.

He's a man. He has these short little woman legs. Oh, my goodness. Short little woman legs. So he's chasing them around the stage with his dick, and Louis C.K. is there watching from the sidelines, and he goes, I'm the problem? I think it did a lot to let Louis know he was in a safe space. Yes.

You're okay here. You're fine here. A lot of people got their panties in a bunch when, no pun intended when he went on stage oh yeah dude his set was fucking killer no one's paying so happy to see him yeah man i mean people outside of the people that were there some people never i mean maybe they feel that the guy didn't do what they wanted him to do but i mean how long do you want someone to suffer well the bummer is also the venue saying that like their their workers were afraid to stop it or do anything about it and that they were upset.

And it's like, that's bullshit. I mean, the workers were ecstatic. They were jumping. I almost have to say that. They were jumping around. I almost kind of have to say that today. They didn't, though, because a business doesn't need to have an opinion. They could just not say anything for two days.

Nobody was going after this venue and going like, oh, you need to release a statement. Nobody gave a fuck. Well, this is all new territory for businesses. You have to understand that the idea of reacting to a journalist is not new. But the idea of reacting to thousands and thousands of people who make comments on your Instagram page, that is new. And for a business, that's a big deal. They're worried about being boycotted. But that's not what happened. But the people who are pissed off that louis there those people will not like

they will boycott they will tweet every day they their thing is to try to ruin someone for you know committing a like woke crime or whatever and they're so that's what they deal with is that people like us who are like yeah that sucks that they fucking wrote that letter we don't do anything we're not boycotting because they wrote that letter we're not like the the other side isn't putting as much pressure on them and that's why all these companies that's why gillette's making those razor commercials and shit because they're scared of that side yeah did you see the gillette razor commercial where they is it the gillette one where the two firemen kiss i don't think i don't think

it's blue cross it was a fucking army national guard companies were two firemen i wrote it down shit it's a commercial who are you going for like do you think gay guys are gonna go you know what we want to fight fires now but it was like like, I get it. You're progressive. It's like this. God damn it. I want to know what the commercial is. Isn't it offensive, though? Isn't it like, dude, if you buy into that, like, oh, my God, I'm so happy this company

is woke. You're just a mark. They're just taking advantage of you. They're just trying to make money off of you. Sort of. But it's also hot. There's like a hot fireman and his hot boyfriend and they're making out and the guy comes back from a fire

and he's ready to get some dick. Right? Holla. Looks fun. He's a hero. As long as it's not lesbians. They're trying to sell you insurance or whatever the fuck they're selling.

I don't remember who did the commercial but I remember saying, oh, okay, we're being progressive. I love it. Why not? I don't give a shit. Go for it. I just find it weird. I find it. Why not? I don't give a shit. Go for it. I just find it weird.

I find it strange, the woke capitalism thing, that people, that companies will take a position that you think would turn off like 50% of the people who buy from them.

But don't you think But they do it to prove their, I don't know, goodness. Yeah. But it doesn't hurt. Does it hurt? Like, does anybody go, fuck Blue Cross.

I'm getting my fucking insurance from that hot Spanish broad. People are lazy. Whatever the cheapest option is, they're buying that. It's like the Equinox thing that just happened. Nobody's fucking leaving Equinox. Let me tell you something. There's no other option. It's convenient.

You got your fucking gym membership. A handful of people are virtue signaling. But all the people complaining, saying boycott Equinox online, they're not fucking Equinox members. They're fucking fat college students. Why do you call us a boycott Equino're fucking fat one of the owners was a trump supporter he gave money oh that's right he held a fundraiser held a fund last week for trump so people were freaking out saying to boycott uh the brand but it's like where else are you gonna go there's not another high-end gym that's all over the place you know praise on your exact same political beliefs oh

it's so weird runs a business it's like if i go if i go to buy a sandwich do i have to go like so where were you on the iraq war no okay let me say do you know a company that preys on your laziness is the insurance that you get through like sag after they like it's you know you get it for free if you qualify and then when you don't qualify for it, you're still enrolled in it, and it's like the most expensive insurance. Does that make sense? You know what I mean? And they kind of got me almost in that way

where a year where it wasn't taken care of, I was like, well, I don't want to switch out and then have any doctors, you know what I mean? Be different. So they kind of get you like that. Dude, this Trump thing is like if you support anything that he does, even just his business practices,

then you're racist. Like everything that you support, if he supports it, just his business practices, then you're racist. Everything that you support, if he supports it, you're racist. Yeah, it's crazy. You're a Nazi, you're racist. And when somebody calls you a racist or a Nazi, even people that don't believe that, they don't want to stand with you and defend you because then they're being perceived as defending a racist or a Nazi. And it's a trick and it's very effective.

It's a juicy soap opera. I don't know why this guy supports Trump, but maybe he could explain it. Right. He's a trick and it's very effective it's a juicy soap opera i don't know why this guy supports trump but maybe he could explain it right he's a real estate guy he's a big real estate guy related properties he has nothing to do with his gym okay this has to do with the fact that he probably has real estate deals for a very very long time with trump and his his gym is inconsequential compared to the billion dollar company that he runs well that makes sense then. That makes sense why he would support Trump, especially if he knows Trump. But if you can't see that, I mean, if you have a problem with that,

and many people would, right? Many people would have a problem with that. That's a different thing. But if you hear what people are saying, they're saying if you support Trump that you support racists, you support white nationalists. And I think you're leaving so many people out of the conversation when you do that. Oh, yeah. I mean, the guy got what was 62 million people to vote for him. So if you're saying anyone who supports him is some type of Nazi white nationalist, then we got bigger problems.

But you're saying the whole country should break up. No one knows the definition of those things anymore when milo used it about milo when he came on the things he was called that just like yeah on paper couldn't even apply to be right would never be accepted into being a nazi or a white suppress you guys remember when we were kids we read about mccarthyism you know and the the red scare we only always thought like god we're past that. That kind of shit's never going to happen again. But what that is is like a symptom of people worried about people defecting from their tribe or turning on their tribe,

and we have this built-in fear of this kind of shit happening. Well, there's that aspect to it, right? It's the people who are worried about people defecting, and then you have the opportunists who can play off that and go instead of having to win an argument or having to you know like convince people i'm just gonna say you're with the other tribe you're in this bad group so you're don't even talk to that person anymore don't even listen to what they have to say and if you're in one tribe on every issue you're a fucking dolt i was gonna say why do you have to be so defined by your you know i mean like i would love to hear the argument about what it does good for him for his real estate ventures.

I would love to hear it, like an honestly laid out argument of why someone like Trump's better if you're a real estate developer. And it might be a significant part of his business. I'm not being an apologist. And he might not. People also will just like, there's this weird thing where people think that business owners and and people that make a lot of money are inherently bad but it's like i don't know dude just because somebody's really good and really successful he's got kids he wants to feed he has grandkids he wants to watch grow up and go to college it's like

i don't know i don't think this is necessarily just bad people that have a lot of money i think that there's a lot of good people that have a lot of money as well and i think they do a lot of good shit well i just you know whenever someone gets really upset about an issue you always have to wonder like how much of it going in there was i mean what what is upsetting to you is upsetting to you that anyone who supports trump like trump rep represents all the things that are wrong with america today in terms like white nationalists and terrorist attacks, mass shootings and misogyny. Yeah, misogyny, keeping the immigrants out and being mean and being America first. Like, fuck, it's one of those things today where if you support any part of that, any part of it, even if it's good for your business, you're just a magnet for fucking people who are angry at all the things. Well, that whole list was ridiculous.

It was like Chick-fil-A, McDonald's. Yeah, man. Big businesses. Big successful businesses. Surprise, surprise. Light bulbs. The number's crazy, right? Electricity.

A lot of big businesses support Trump. But isn't it so weird how people project their own thing onto the situation? Because even like that, you just said what everyone hates about Trump. But the people who support Trump, they're not even on the other side of those issues. It's not like they're like, no, we are pro-white nationalists. They just see him as a completely different thing. They're making the country great and jobs and draining the swamp and all these other things like they people are looking at the same thing and seeing very different realities yeah yeah they are and people are going in with their preconceived bias and getting them

confirmed you know whatever i mean even with the way you looked at the mueller report like the republicans looked at as a victory and the democrats looked at as some sort of uh like an open door to impeachment yeah but that was i don't know the fucking if the thing starts off with uh every day you're hearing on the news that the president is colluding with a hostile foreign power he's a russian puppet he's working with vladimir putin and then by the end you're like we have to impeach him because he thought about obstructing the investigation that he was declared not guilty. And it's like, this is getting weird. You guys were going to be upset no matter what you found.

100%. Dave loves Trump. I'm trying to say. Sounds like he does. Dave just loves Trump. I'm going hard Nazi this time. I'm not coming back on the show. I'm going hard this time.

The fucked up part is only having really two choices like we're scrambling to see who's choice number two who's going to be the one that opposes trump and you're seeing people starting to crack under pressure like re-entry pressure they're trying to figure out who's going to be ben glebe maybe imagine imagine we all get doubted him he gets through and becomes president, we'll be fucked. When you look at the people that are in line, though, does anybody stand out that you would think would be able to? Well, I don't know how much of a realistic shot, but who I, I love Tulsi Gabbard. I sent her money twice already.

And I disagree with her on like 80% of her shit. She's a real interesting person. She really is. And she's dead on about the war stuff and she's you know yeah about medicare um she's dead on about a lot of things well she's kind of hot fuck yeah oh yeah dave didn't agree with something with medicare no i don't like her medicare stuff but i do like uh i the most important thing that she leads with is the war stuff. And she's got a great position where she's, like, did two tours in Iraq. She's still active duty. And so, you know, like, the normal, like, comeback is like, oh, you're against the wars.

It's like, well, you're just kind of a wimp. Or you wouldn't want to protect the country. And she's like, no, asshole. I actually went. I'm the one who's willing to go die for this. And I'm telling you, we shouldn't be dying for this. What did she do? What was her job over there, though?

Oh, she was serious. She was in a medical unit. So she was dealing with the people who actually seemed the worst part. But not infantry, though. No. She was making breakfast. She was dealing with the results of infantry. Was it Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise?

It was her job to clean up the DVDs. That's a hot subject, right? Women in combat. I got a bunch of shit about making jokes about saying I don't understand what a girl,

I watch the show Cops a lot and I don't understand what a girl cop has ever done in a situation that's hostile except for make the perp get much more hurt,

shot, or tased because she's in the way of it happening. And people got really upset about me saying that. But it really, I don't understand why you'd send a woman to, a major fight happening at the mall. Get down there, ladies. It really is like a bizarre.

The physical, with some cops, the physical aspect of an altercation is going to be a real problem yeah with for plenty of guys it doesn't have to be a female thing you can just say you can't have a 110 pound person go and be the physical authority in a situation no but if you're 110 pound guy i'm gonna call you a chick officer chick there's a terrible video of this guy getting pulled over by this lady and his daughter is in the car and the guy was a criminal apparently and the the lady cop uh was calling an end and the guy punches her and gets her down on the garage he knocks her out close it's an old

video yeah and starts punching her face and while she and the daughter's screaming stop it daddy stop it daddy and he beats the fuck out of this lady cop. And you're like, this is why. It's a problem. This lady cop's by herself, and she's got a gun, but she doesn't have the gun out of the holster pointed at the guy. It's a routine traffic stop, and that guy pummels her, man. It's horrible to watch. Yeah, it's really shitty.

Me saying the idea is not like, fuck chicks. I'm just like, don't send them out to get hurt in these situations. I don't understand why. It's not necessary. That was your daughter, and you saw your daughter beaten half dead because someone thought it was okay for her to be by herself amongst big, giant criminals. Typically, they don't match up female cops, though, right? I'm assuming most of the time they put a-

This was a girl by herself. That's also crazy. You could be on patrol by yourself. She's a girl cop. She's walking around a neighborhood or something I've seen videos where it's like a dude and a chick partners and the cop gets in a fight with another guy and it's basically just two

men fighting with this woman kind of grabbing an arm here or there it's like your girlfriend screaming behind you kick his ass Finn kick his ass Finn she might try to hit the guy with a brick and hit you that would be she's pointing the mace at herself She might kick his ass, man. She might try to hit the guy with a brick and hit you. She's pointing the mace at herself.

Get the fuck off of him! There's a lot of men that would fall apart in that job, too. I'm 100% sure. Oh, definitely, definitely. I think any small, whether it's a woman or a man, any person who's not a large person, who's not physically strong, who's by themselves as a cop is in danger. Any one. It doesn't matter if you're male or if you're a 150-pound man. Absolutely.

Same deal. You're in trouble. Unless you're a really good martial artist who can grab a gun quickly and you know how to respond to pressure. I feel like 99% of women, I could take a gun right out of their hands. Jesus, bro. I have no training, but I feel like, give me a check, she can point a gun right at my head. But that said-

99% of the time, I'm fucking taking it and pointing it right back at her. That said, I should make clear that myself, I'm nowhere near as tough as I think you should need to be to be a cop. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I would never assume that of myself either, so I'm not saying it- Dude, I've been doing martial arts my whole life. I wouldn't want to be a cop. I wouldn't want to be a cop.

I don't want to be a cop. It's a crazy situation. It's hard. It's a hard job. It's dangerous. You're supposed to have to be brave. Well, not only that, man. Do you know how much PTSD those guys are dealing with that is unrecognized?

If every day you're pulling people over that might shoot you, every day you're dealing with someone who's robbing something or stealing something or trying to kill somebody or did kill somebody, did kill somebody. Every fucking day. I see a lot of cops ain't doing shit, though. Some of them aren't. But look, you're wearing a uniform that makes you the enemy. You're also the person with power. And you've got to realize how fucking corrupt that is, that you're able to yell at people and force people in these situations and cuff them and fuck with them.

And you've got to know when to abuse it, when to use it. How about just gentle, public nastiness because they can? Yeah, it happens. Guys, walk. You guys do it. Walk, walk. Well, it's also a different time now because- If you're in their way, in a personal way, if you're just blocking their path, where

a normal person would go, excuse me, guys, because they're wearing a- They'd go, walk, guys, walk. Let's go. It's an abuse of power. Because they turn around and you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, but sometimes they don't have time. Look, benefit of the doubt, right? They're in Times Square.

They're dealing with a lot of people. There's just not time for the nuance one circumstances i'm talking about in just a thing like the same way they put on their lights to go through a red light just to get because they don't want to wait at it yeah yeah i've seen a million opportunities of course that's just it's it's human beings don't do well with authority mixed with impunity so like a cop can say that to you and nothing happens to them. If there's no repercussions and you have power, people tend to end up being dicks. Remember that guy, Jimmy Justice?

I had a job as a security guard for a brief moment in time when I was like 19 years old. And there was an us versus them mentality between the security and the people with the concert goers. That was clearly evident one of the first days I was working there. This guy's name was Alley Cat. and uh some dude had stole one of the golf carts so the golf cart one of them electric golf carts for security so they tackled this dude off the golf cart and he smashes him in the head with a fucking walkie talkie it's like a crazy fight with some drunken asshole who's like violent and stole a golf cart uh That was like the first day there. First or second day there on the job.

I was like, oh, okay, so this is what's going on. And it became people trying to sneak booze into Great Woods and then us. And then so it was this us versus them mentality. And everybody was lying to you. And that was the silliest job. I'm doing security at a fucking Bill Cosby show, literally. I was doing security. I was Bill Cosby show. Literally. I was doing security. I was

taking people's booze away. Joe, what did you let happen? Jesus Christ, Joe. You could have stepped in and sucked them. Talk about falling asleep on the job. Hilarious. It's such a simple little job. It's easy. There's no criminals there.

There's no bank robbers there. There's no murderers there. All the women are asleep. It's such a simple little job. It's easy. There's no criminals there. There's no bank robbers there. There's no murderers there. All the women are asleep. It's just that little situation of us versus them with the liquor and them trying to smuggle in pot and liquor. Just that led to this huge fucking rift between the security people and the way they thought of us as customers. And it's funny because, again, it's too much of a human emotion in it. That's something that should be a job because what is,

even if you don't care if people, when you're not working, you're trying to get beer and weed into a concert, it's just that these are your opponents right now and they're trying to fuck with you. Even though it's something

you were like, you'd go like, I don't care if you guys smoke weed. You're like, no, but I have to say you can't smoke weed and then when they do it anyway,

you're like, I just fucking said you can't smoke weed. It's like testing your manhood almost. It's too much human emotion in that movie on netflix about that experiment what college was it it's like a famous story oh it's princeton the princeton prison or no stanford i'm sorry stanford prison experiments you know i read something debunking that me too yeah they said the methodology was all wrong on it or something like it's not a legit study they also said that people were doing things just to end the study quickly because they wanted to go home yeah they

did that in the movie though they broke that down they showed that side of it where they were like the and they said i guess the guy who made the experiment said yeah it's it's a wash the end of it was like it wasn't actually good data but it was interesting and i do believe that you know stanford was the stanford it's a prison experiment yeah but students pretended to be some pretend to be criminals some pretend to be security guards

oh and then they started getting corrupt the power positions became corrupt and one of the interesting things is that the professor becomes like the warden

and he gets into it too like they cut they show they got it on video and stuff and he's like walking around with his chest out and he's all in

it's just people they fall into these roles into these camps, and the authority goes to people's head. It creates a weird dynamic. Think about how many dickhead cops people have met, right? Yeah. That's just a thing that happens.

But it also makes it very nice when you run into friendly cops. It's like, wow, what a good dude. It's almost like training the human interaction. So when they act like a dick and people act a certain way and they move and they get a little bit nervous it's like oh that's like intoxicating they're like oh that feels good that power right there said about no repercussions for your behavior the way you're talking you could just do that with impunity that's you just nailed it that's exactly what it is that's not a normal situation for people well that's i mean just it's state versus business if you ask here we go oh my god look if you walk into the apple store or you are they can't do that because you're a voluntary customer so if they

treat you the wrong way there's a repercussion right there you're like well walk out of here with the black dudes and how their homeless camps now at least they're not shooting people but cell phones has become the great equalizer because the black dudes and how their homeless camps now. It doesn't always work out, Jack. At least they're not shooting people. But cell phones have become the great equalizer because now you see cops, they're walking on eggshells, dude. People hold their cell phones now

and they're like, what up, bitch-ass pussy cop? And the cop's like, well, I guess I'm a bitch-ass pussy. Did you see the video in New York? As soon as the battery runs out on that cell phone, I'm going to shoot you in the stomach.

Dude, did you see the video in New York where they're throwing water on the cops and cops just aren't doing shit and i don't know i think it was i know it might have been in harlem or say isn't like a black neighborhood in new york they're dumping water on the cops and everyone's got a cell phone camera on them and you know in any other period of time beating the shit out of everyone but they're throwing water balloons at him and shit and And they're just sitting there like, we know I'm going to be in the news tomorrow. I'm going to be, you know what I mean?

Like, I'll be a famous cop. That cop definitely goes home that night in like shadow box with two nightsticks. Just practicing like a last dragon circle fight that he was in that day. Oh man, if that happened tomorrow. He shadow boxed for two hours at home And he goes

Pour water on me Here's some water for you And all these guys A lot of them have been on the force For 15 years 20 years So they've been doing things A certain way for so long

I'm so close to my pension Did you guys ever see the 7-5? Yeah Oh yeah, excellent You interviewed the guy You interviewed him, didn't you? Yeah, he's amazing Is he likable? Yeah, very nice guy What's his name michael dowd is that it michael

dowd michael dowd i didn't see it it's a excellent documentary it's dowd it might be yeah it's dowd yeah you know he's great he's a really nice guy i mean super open and honest about what happened and the documentary is fucking compelling shit yeah and you realize that how much of it was true and i think he's not remorseful at all. What I find, that's what I find unlikable. That he's not remorseful. I think he's remorseful.

He just got, look, he just has that voice. Just doing Coke all day long, every day as a cop and, and, and, and,

you know, making all this money and driving a Corvette. He was out of control. And he was on the, uh, the area where he was the 75th precinct. I think it's East New York, Brooklyn at the height of like the New York. This was like the uh the area where he was the 75th precinct i think it's east new york brooklyn at the height of like the new york this was like the murder neighborhood capital like it was it was

a wild team yeah but they were in the chain of a lot of those murders that's what i think is like crazy about like they were like they weren't never they were never convicted of a murder right there was no i think almost admittedly that he was kind of he's's like, I mean, of course, like. But there was a talk about doing one, right? Yeah. But it never happened. The whole fucking thing is crazy.

But what it tells you, I mean, forget about our judgments on, you know, the people that were in it. What it tells you is that this can happen

to someone who just becomes a cop. You get on the force. If it's a bad force, like it was at the time with him, and he's seeing corruption from day one. I mean, it was just like he was at the time with him and he's seeing corruption from day

one i mean it was just like he was roped into it like right away when you listen to his story it's pretty fucking compelling yeah this is like the first day on the job like something happened they threw a guy off a building or something like that puts a person out i don't remember yeah but it was and then there's just money right there yeah that you could take yep you're like i can just have no one will know yeah there's 50 G's here. I could just take this home and like, oh,

we didn't find anything. It's that easy. It's very telling of the personality that becomes a cop though because they're not even worried that people are going to, it's amazing

that no one whistle blows so much earlier than that because one person comes in and goes, no guys, we're supposed to be fucking believing in this badge and what we do.

You know what I mean? No, they all go, what do we do? Are we good cops or bad cops? He goes, we're robbing drug dealers. All right,

we'll do that. I think they can morally justify it though. So I don't think that, honestly, to be honest, I have almost no problem with cops skimming off the top

from drug dealer money. I mean, what do you want me to fucking say? We're just giving it to the government. Why does the government get to have the money

and these cops who are putting their lives- Wait a minute. Not if they're arresting people for drugs. Yeah. Look, if you're going to do that and you're going to just ignore everyone else who's selling coke, okay. But if you're going to do that and arrest people for selling coke, then you're a criminal. Then you're like some sort of organized criminal.

If you get caught, you should be arrested. Yeah. That's the repercussion. I don't have a moral issue with it. If he found $50,000, only reported $40,000, put $10,000 in his pocket, brought it home to his wife and kids, I don't really have a moral issue with that. What if he brought it home to just fucking pay for his backed up porn bill or something? What if he just brought it home to fuck around with?

Jay, they won't let you go that long. Oh, they'll cut you off earlier? Okay. But if you want to get reinstated, there's fees. If he got arrested, I wouldn't go, oh, poor fucking't go oh poor fucking guy i go yeah dude that's the price you pay you committed a crime that that but from like my personal perspective i don't think he's a piece of shit i don't think he's a bad person i think it's probably stupid if he doesn't look the cycle of people and drugs is never ending it will go on to the end of time the cycle of making drugs illegal and

propping up gigantic criminal enterprises because that is also as old as we've had laws as long as we've had laws we've had people breaking those laws and if those laws exist because someone wants to control people's behavior in a way that people don't want folks are going to find a workaround but that workaround empowers the Mexican cartels right now. And it's the Mexican cartels are a huge source of fear for people that live in the border towns. It's a huge source of fear for people that are forced to be in communities.

And it's propped up because drugs are illegal. Nobody seems to want to recognize that. It's one of those ugly things about being a human that people want drugs and you can't tell them they can't have what they want. Yeah, especially since immigration became such a huge thing that everyone's talking about. And that's like the biggest part of it that no one talks about. It's like the violence. And it's like, well, there's people on this side of this line who want the drugs.

There's people on this side of the line who have the drugs. And even with all the shit you're doing, they're still trading them to to each other so do you really think maybe we should just let them do it where but here's the thing we don't want anybody to do it rightly so i mean luckily you don't want anybody running around doing heroin and nobody gets through that and goes it was amazing it was my best one of my best moments in life is when i was addicted to heroin yeah but even if you do it one time i bet it's pretty fucking dope it's bet it's amazing, but I bet it's hard to let it go once you've experienced it. It's probably fucking incredible. Lenny Bruce had some crazy description of it about something about being hugged by an angel or something like that.

Yeah, Mike DeStefano, who died a few years ago in a New York comic, he had a joke. He was like, you know how great heroin is? It's like taking a bath in a pool full of kittens. Metzger had that joke about it where he says, when the families of people go, he goes, I don't understand why he would do heroin. He's got a family that loves him and kids who look up to him and love him. Why would he do heroin?

He goes, when I tell that family, you're just so close to the answer. Heroin's better than all those things. That is hilarious. Yeah, yeah but i mean i don't think people should do it but if you make it illegal it's not they're not going to stop doing it the question would be would people do more of it if it was legal if you could just go to a drug store the same way you go to a liquor store and the drug store was actually a drug store we could just go buy coke and they might well look In LA I do think More people are smoking weed For sure

Since weed became legal Like I That'd be my guess I don't actually have Data on that For sure Let's find out what the date is I'm sure it's fine

But even if that's the case I don't know if that's the answer Because let's say Even slightly more people Did heroin But way less people Got murdered What's that?

Do your heroin What? Why is Jamie Jamie just it has nothing to do with heroin do people smoke weed more do people smoke weed more

since legalization well that was the most hilarious not remember what we were talking about it's gotten cheaper it's gotten cheaper it's easier to get

it's better it's more fun it's in candy form it's in fucking yeah I think as an 18 I think an 18 year old is more likely to definitely give it a try

versus maybe would have. When I got to meet him for the first time, I was 17 years old. I had my Uncle Raymond buy it for us. He skimmed off the bag, I remember. And he brought us a fucking dime bag. And me and my two best friends, we smoked a joint

before we were going to see System of a Down, Incubus, and Mr. Bungle at Snowcore. You're Puerto Rican, so was your uncle like two years older than you? It's one of those deals. Is that why he did that? He's your bro.

The night before we wanted to smoke, and it took us, there was no way to get it. We were trying to find weed for so long because we weren't in that world. The first time you go to get weed, if you could just go to a store and pick it up and it's fun and it's like at a mall. I mean, yeah, astronomical. But I love weed, so I'm not hating. It's great. Well, it was hard to get on the East Coast. I mean, it's just trickier.

Still. But since the 90s, once they passed those laws for medical, everybody had a medical card. It's not hard to get at all. The doctors were extremely unscrupulous in their prescriptions. So everybody's had weed out here since the fucking 90s. Yeah. Like strong, strong, easy to get weed. Yeah, but now they don't give you shit if you smoke like outside.

That's true. You can smoke it like a cigarette now. Well, no, I don't think you can smoke it outside. I still think you have to be indoors. I think smoking outside, the problem is other people can smell it and you're not supposed to do that. I think in Denver, it's like nine feet from an entrance. You could smoke weed.

I think so. I smoke vape, I mean, everywhere. Inside of a movie theater, as I'm walking through a mall. I go to the bathroom at the airport and I smoke. Yes, that's what ethnics do. They challenge everyone by being big and alpha in a place like that. Starbucks, I don't buy anything. Yeah, I'm smoking. What? Ethnics. Yeah. what nicks yeah he only keeps me around so he could be racist

i go what do you mean my dentist is black black dentist would be hilarious gold teeth snoop's got diamond lower teeth now. What? Snoop Dogg. Diamond studded? Or made of diamonds? Them crazy grill diamond things. He's in this video where he's driving around on his Instagram in a Lamborghini with diamond lower teeth. He's had a good life.

I love it. 50 years old with diamond teeth. He's living it, man. Oh, for sure. He doesn't give a fuck. He spends most of his time getting furious at video games online. Does he? Yeah, he just yells about Madden very aggressively.

He did a UFC thing for a minute, right? He was commentating with your eye favor? With your eye favor, yeah. They would drink and watch the fight. So he was drinking like Tangeray and smoking joints and watching the fight. Oh, these white boys are tough. Yeah, because what it was was there was some commentary that he did just independently on one fight and it was so hilarious because he's so animated screaming

and yelling about this fight that uh everybody thought like wow wouldn't it be great if there was an option to watch the snoop dog commentary yeah on demand you can click over the snoop dog version that's right and it was probably i don't know i've never watched it but i assume it was fucking horrific oh it was great it was great going north south he got his dizzle in his missile yeah they just they uh i guess they got bored with it they got bored doing it or something i don't know it stopped maybe snoop's fucking busy he doesn't have time to be doing that he's like mike tyson too in the sense I just, I remember when he was like scary. Here it is, let's listen to this. Yeah.

Oh, that's right, it was Colby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, yeah, yeah, Tyron was... This is where he thought it was Colby. He thought it was Colby, this was a big thing. That's right, he thought it was Colby, but it was a man from a completely different part of the world.

Yep. Fuck Donald Trump. That is hilarious. He thought it was Colby. That's so funny. Holy shit. He was getting some booze the other night, huh? Dude, that guy here is cha-ching.

Yep. When those people are booing, cha-ching. It's emotion, dude. Emotion. You want to get the emotion out of people, whether it's good or bad. It doesn't fucking matter. They want to see him fight, and they want to see him lose. He's going heel.

He went heel. Listen, he's a good guy. I'm telling you, I know that guy. I've met him outside of this crazy thing that he's doing. And this crazy thing that he's doing came about when he was on the verge of getting cut. And people didn't like his style. And so he went hard heel when he fought Damian Maia. He went hard heel.

Well, Chael did a similar thing. Chael wasn't the big mouth guy back in the day. No, he was not. Yeah, and he just made a decision one day that he's going to be that dude. Was it right at the Anderson fight? Fucking great marketing decision. Smart.

Very smart. And Colby too. But also Colby, something happened as well. He's really exciting, dude. That last fight. Very good. That last fight was incredible dude um but yeah colby is definitely it's contrived i appreciate the effort um but

it's effective see the thing about it being contrived is it makes it obvious that he's putting on a show yeah but the thing is that putting on a show is fucking he's ruthless he fucks with people's heads legitimately like they, they do not want to lose to him. And then when you get inside the octagon, he's really fucking good. Like, really fucking good. Yeah, I didn't realize how good he was until the Robbie Lawler fight.

You see the amount of strikes of that guy fucking through. Yeah, all volume. And then he's unbelievable wrestling. It's a really, really, really tough matchup for anybody. And Colby is, it is an act, and it is pro wrestling. He puts on the Trump hat, and people, I mean, people just see that hat, and they lose their fucking is pro wrestling he puts on the trump hat and people i mean people just see that hat and they lose their fucking mind and he trolls half the country and it's a similar thing with the other when businesses do it i'm going like guys don't be rubes like it's

very obvious that it's just an act and if you're a fan of mixed martial arts you have to appreciate the fact that some guys are taking chances and trying to generate interest you can every guy can't just be put on a suit and be straight-placed. Yeah, I respect my opponent. At some point, you want a little story. Yeah, he makes it juicier. But the bottom line is, put all that shit aside and just look at what he's doing. You look at what he's doing, you're like, that guy's extraordinary.

The fact that he could do that to Robbie Lawler, completely shut down his offense and just put a beating on him. Just stay on top of him. Never give him any air. Never give him any air. The pace is smothering. And his striking looked really good. It's very good. It's very good.

Very, very good in that fight. He takes a shot. He takes a shot great. And his cardio is off the fucking charts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's that whole 170 right now, that whole division is looking crazy right now. It's amazing.

Yeah. Nate Diaz being back in the mix. And Masvidal. Masvidal and Nate seems like, just like, if you're a fan of just like, if you're from a poor neighborhood, that is like the superstar matchup. I grew up in such a shitty environment. It's like, that was like the perfect two hood rat fucking guys who are going to talk shit.

They're going to go in there and fight. Oh, my God. It's so awesome. They're going to make so much money. That fight's going to be so giant. Well, it was cool that Dana White at the post-fight press conference, he got asked because, you know, he had famously said, I think, once that Nate Diaz doesn't move the needle or something like along those lines.

That was during negotiations, I guarantee. Yeah, I'm sure it was. But he basically said, he goes, I think Nate, besides Conor and Ronda Rousey, is like about as big a star As MMA has Like they did Crazy good numbers Everyone The arena was going

Nuts for him Dude When he walked out Yesterday Or Saturday night When he walked out The fucking place Roared

I mean as loud as anybody As loud as any main event Person Whether it's Stipe or DC Nate Diaz got the biggest roar And then he had a great performance Well even leading up to it People were talking about Nate coming back more than they were talking about the heavyweight title.

I don't think some people in the UFC realize how big a star he really is. I think they thought that the Conor fight, Conor was the big star. Nate beat him. Conor won the second fight. Conor still remains the big superstar. I think Nate is equally as big a star in America as Conor is. Maybe, I don't know what worldwide is like, but in America, Nate Diaz is a giant fucking star. Maybe not as big as Conor, but a tier below, maybe.

You have to credit Conor. Enormously famous. And you have to say he won the two fights. I mean, who would you rather be in the two fights? I mean, he choked Conor out face down in the first one and then had like a razor close, unbelievable, great fight the second time. So, I mean, he comes out of that looking pretty good. Yeah, but I think it's a testament to how popular Conor is because that's the fucking Conor shine.

And it was a dance, and Nate brought it, and Nate has that story, the one-on-one fight. It's turned him into this star. But if he never danced with Conor would he be that big to that I don't know no that

because Nate was awesome for years before the Conor fight he's the fucking man the double middle fingers like there's so many moments where you could where you're like

I get goosebumps thinking about Nate Diaz fighting that's your favorite part when he's like these are the fingers that take fucking that's your favorite

it's awesome I love when he said fuck you dude when he got who did he get in the triangle when he get in the triangle when he got in the triangle and gave him double

oh dude it was the fucking best he gave him double fingers and flexed and he was he was losing that fight too yeah and then he came it was great

oh and then yeah then the Donald Cerrone fight third round they come out oh they were so fucking good dude Nate's once again it's just you don't have to be a mixed martial arts fan

you just gotta be a human and go like that's a fucking fighter that is something that everyone wants to watch well i hope he makes an actual belt because he's saying he's got the baddest motherfucker in the game belt and who wants to defend you know who wants to be next to challenge for the baddest motherfucker in the game belt and uh i'd love that i love that that's his marketing strategy he should really legitimately get a belt made up. Just say, baddest motherfucker in the game belt. I'm sure someone will send it to him. Make it look like the old UFC belt.

The UFC isn't using that old belt anymore. How about you have a UFC baddest motherfucker in the game belt and just change the outside a little bit. Was he smoking weed for real? Yes. Yes, in the open workouts. Is he going to get in trouble for that? No. No, no.

It's totally legal in California. And when you test, you have to literally be high while you're fighting for you to test positive. You saw it dropped it all way, way down. Oh, great. Well, so many people use it to sleep. So many people use it for pain reliefs, particularly with CBD when it's one-to-one. These are one-to-one THC and CBD. And they think that it's actually more effective for both.

It actually calms you down a little bit with the CBD along with the THC. So it might actually alleviate some anxiety that's associated with getting too high. Wouldn't that make sense? Because that's how it comes in the plant, right? It's like both parts. Well, yeah. Yeah, I guess. Except I think CBD, it doesn't come in as big.

So to get one in one, you'd have to- Okay. When you smoke a joint, how much CBD you're smoking? I have no idea. I have no clue. Do you even get CBD when you just smoke a joint? Yeah, I've never heard of CBD until it wasn't in the joint anymore. Yeah.

It was by itself. Well, THC is one of many, many cannabinoids, right? Isn't there like 19 of them or something crazy like that? Is that what it is, Jamie? 18. Yeah, that's... I'm just kidding. I don't

know there's a lot i think the plant itself is what's magic it's a crazy goddamn plant that we're finally getting to appreciate and still there's a lot of places where you still have to buy hemp from canada you know like large-scale hemp production hasn't really like caught on with a good percentage of this country that used to be one of the major crops that people would grow. You could make clothes out of it. You could eat it. It makes this shit called hempcrete. It's like this insanely durable concrete that's made with hemp.

It's a fucking nutty plant, man. It really is. Like the stalk of a hemp tree. Like my friend Todd McCormick had one sitting on his desk once. And you pick it up. It's like, what is this, from another world it's hard like oak hard but light as balsa wood light as styrofoam wait is a hemp plant different than weed no no i mean there's just the difference is hemp is not psychoactive it's like a psychoactive form of the same sort of uh kind of plants but regular marijuana also is hemp right because what

hemp is is the fibers so what we're using to get high is the buds right the stems and all the other leaves and shit but the fiber of the plant itself is insanely durable and really light and that's the shit they turn into clothes into string into all all this, into paper, canvas. The first canvas was made with hemp. All that stuff, that's why the word cannabis or canvas comes from cannabis. That's why it's called canvas. But they did everything with hemp. But it's just hard to do, man. They used to have to beat it down like they used slave labor most of the time.

And then in the 1930s, some dude came up with something called a decorticator. It is a machine where you could effectively process the hemp fiber and that's when they started going crazy with the reefer madness shit it was all an economic thing uh-huh they were like we've got to stop it jazz and then jazz they already had it everybody was already doing it i mean that was that was something that was a normal thing with people it was uh it wasn't until they decided to make it illegal but it became this weird fucking thing that nobody could uh nobody could do something that they've been doing for so long before where are they aren't they making mushrooms

and acid legal somewhere in the states by the way that's a steep amy ochich fucking heavyweight champ of the world just called sorry oh shit name, shit. Name dropping. Yeah. He looks great. It's a good one. Fuck, what a crazy fight. Wow. Are they doing a rematch? Did I read that somewhere? Maybe. They're doing it? Maybe. I mean, that guy... It was like a Rocky movie, just the change, the turn in that fight was so crazy.

Look, DC's my very good friend. I love him to death. I love that guy. It's hard. It's hard watching a friend that you really love get his ass kicked. And that's what happened he was looking great yeah he was looking great he was look he's he's an awesome person man i love that dude and doing commentary with him is the most hilarious fun time he's such a good guy he's great at commentary he's very very articulate and smart he's one of the best that does it and he uh yeah dude it sucks it's just you see that you see the pain on his face when he loses a fight.

He does not like losing. Of course he doesn't, but neither does Stipe. You know what I mean? And that's what it's all about. Those two guys, I have deep respect for Stipe, too. I've been saying forever that I thought it was fucked up that he was not going to get a title shot, not going to get a rematch. Instead, they were going to have him fight Brock Lesnar.

I'm like, look, the fight is supposed to be steep, eh? He was the most successful heavyweight ever, won four title fights, won the title, and then defended it three times. No one's ever done that before. So that was the giant, and the guys he beat were fucking really good. And it's not just like you gave it. It'd be one thing if you said, you know, he got knocked out in the first round, so we're going to give the first crack to this number one contender who's like on a on a tear or something

but to just say brock lesnar yeah because this is a big it was it was the most naked example of this is just for pay-per-view buys that kind of sucks for for steve yeah it sucks for steve and i'm glad it didn't didn't happen i'm glad that Stipe got his chance. Just out of respect for the sport and respect for the true champions of the sport. It doesn't matter what marketability or not, that guy is the best champion that's ever

been in the game. He's the best heavyweight champion of all time. To not recognize that, that should be a big deal. That should be the fight, but the money of brock lesnar fight would have been so immense that if you're a company that makes entertainment this is why it's kind of like the ufc in some ways there's a marriage of entertainment and of sport because it has to be i mean the people are the

ones who are buying the paper views and paying for it so if more of them want this yeah and what's good for the good is good for the gander because you get brock lesnar to come on a card you get massive massive eyes on it and then you get you know every time you do that there's a percentage of people who stay fans and become hardcore fans and tell people about it and there's there's real value there for everybody so um yeah but the heavyweight championship of the world is supposed to be the most prestigious and you don't see that in any other sport where a guy will you know be coming off a loss before years removed you know test positive for steroids and then just get a title shot yeah um and yeah that's a good way of putting it yeah that's a good very good point i what i want to see more even than the dc thing i want to see francis and ganu steep a2 because

francis and ganu just destroyed Kane and Junior Dos Santos. If you guys remember, just a few years ago. Those were the guys. Those were the guys. That was King Kong and Godzilla right there. That's the heavyweight division. And he just destroyed both of them. He looks like he got his confidence back.

He looks like, you know, like I want to see that rematch. Yeah. I'm terrified for everybody who gets in the octagon against that guy. Every time he fights somebody, I'm like, In Garner? Yeah, because I remember I still have shell shock from watching Alistair Overeem get hit with that left hook. Oh, that was the hardest knockout I've ever seen, ever.

I remember thinking, no one's going to survive that. It looked like the back of Alistair Overeem's head touched his ankles. He just snapped back. Oh, dude. I was like no one everyone's going out from that everyone's going out cold that's the thing with the heavy weights you have to like have so much respect because it's like holy shit dude like you're getting in there and it's just like at any moment you're just gone you know i mean i'd rather fight

a heavyweight than like 135 pounder though just to be hit a thousand times in the head. That's the punch. Bro. That should be a t-shirt. Like just the silhouette of that. It's interesting you say that with DC. I just know in as little as we know

Mickey Gall as much as we've been friends with him for a short amount of time even. Like when he fights there's some different stakes on it. As a buddy you're like

and you must see that a lot, and you're calling it. It's hard for me when Cowboy fights. I root against Bisping, actually. It was really hard when Brendan was fighting. That was real hard because I'm real tight with him. We're really good friends. When he wasn't really doing it anymore, he was still in it,

but he wasn't really like 100% in. He was thinking about other things. He was thinking about when he gets out. He didn't have the same focus and intensity and training as he used to. That's hard. That's not the sport to do that in. No, it's hard. Whenever you're thinking about getting out, get out.

Get out. Because there's people that aren't thinking about getting out. And you've got to think about what we were talking about earlier. Mike Tyson in his prime, angry at everything. Like if you're thinking about getting out and you run in front of a guy like that or a girl like that, there's female kickboxers that are like that too. They're just fucking vicious, man.

And they're waiting. You think you're half in, half out thinking about cheerleading? Wham! Shin to the face. You've got to be all in. You're saying at the end, Brendan could have been beaten by a woman? Yes.

Am I following you correctly i think at the fucking highest levels of any combat sport you have to be all in i don't think i don't think that's something you could dabble in it's a hard thing though because i think in mma like you know luckily brendan is a you know podcaster comedian i think a lot of other guys they don't have the same but they could do other stuff like tyron woodley's rapping ty Tyron Woodley has businesses. I know he's doing something with CBD. I know he did a record with Wiz Khalifa. I know he does a lot of TMZ stuff. He's a funny dude. I think you have to become the... Look, Tyron's champion. Tyron's smart.

Champion, though. He has a huge name. He was, but he's still working. See, he lost his title to Usman, but yet he's still doing all these other things. Of course, but I think it's easier when you have that name. You're a former UFC champion. I think that alone will probably sort of set you up, as long as you're not a complete idiot for the rest of your life. But there are guys who never get to that very, very top, and if they don't sort of set themselves up for afterwards,

they're going to, you know, when you think about getting out, you're like, shit, dude, the reason they take those fights. What was that one documentary I saw where the guy was like, he'd gotten like crazy brain injuries and his family was just like, dude, don't take another fight. And he still had to take it. He's had to pay the bills. And it was just like, there was just no other option. He was like barely making money at a gym. So that's the thing where it's like, is a sport where you're all in.

And then once it kind of shit hits the fan it reminds me of comedy because like it takes a minimum five to ten years to figure out if you're going to even be good enough to do it professionally right and then at that point it's your whole life so this is why you never see people quitting nobody quits comedy you see a lot of people that maybe they start at like 20 and like by 30 they're 10 years in and if it's not working out for you you took the 10 years when you were supposed to be figuring out where the trajectory of life. Like everyone you knew from high school figured out a job, got a house, got married. How do you gauge that now? Because you could do comedy for six months and have a YouTube video where you can make $25,000 on a Sunday doing one Sunday show at an improv.

But have you watched that guy's YouTube channel? No, so that's rare. That doesn't happen too often. It's not that rare. I think it's rare that there's, you know, guys that are doing comedy for six months

that are making... That doesn't mean anything. Oh, six months, sure, sure, sure. The extreme example, yeah, for sure. But for real, it shouldn't mean anything to us. No, no, it doesn't. I'm just saying,

I'm just making a point that it's not really, there's so many alternative routes now. No, I'm just saying for the guy who puts the Z in them. Yeah, but even with what like lewis said like i agree technically in like the the the growth of someone like 10 years in they

they've got their legs under them like good now they can start figuring out what their direction is going to be exactly and find their market that's you become like a honed great comic hopefully you know but like you can get popular and have to work under the pressure of a sold out theater at three years in the comedy that is crazy

that's crazy I couldn't Charlie Murphy possibly imagine that doing that Charlie Murphy did it even more insane way

he was famous first and then he became an open mic-er that's gotta be challenging dude sold out shows all he practices only he's doing giant shows

Right Where everybody's coming to see him And Donnell Right And all these other And Donnell's a killer by the way Donnell's a killer Yeah he's going up with like

Monsters from the Chappelle show How about Jeremy Piven How about Jeremy Piven He's a Even Brendan Brendan was a star When he started doing comedy He was already known

Very known Yes he was already known As a UFC fighter Yeah but What Charlie Murphy did Was do these sold-out fucking shows, and he was practicing. Yeah. I don't know how much time he spent before he went up on stage the first time, knowing that he was going to do stand-up. I think it was pretty abrupt.

He was also famous from the Chappelle show and from two of the greatest comedy sketches ever done that Dave Chappelle was acting out for and they were so funny. And his brother's Eddie Murphy. So the expectation when you go in is like, I'm going to see the greatest comedian in the country and he's

doing his third set that he's ever done. That's crazy. Well, stand-up comedy is the only art form that you practice in front of the audience there's nothing else so you and you have to the only way to do it is to practice in front of a painter's apartment and watch them everyone else gets to master their craft by themselves in a fuck whatever it's it could be mixed martial arts in a gym it could be in a garage or in a band whatever it is everyone else gets to figure it out. But we,

from moment one, it's this naked thing where we're like, all right, well let me, and it's so douchey. I think back to the first time, like what fucking type of asshole would even give it a shot

for the first time? It's like going, hey, I just wrote this song today. And they go, well, fucking sucks. I'm not going to clap

for that terrible song you just wrote. Next. They wouldn't. They would just go, at the end of it, they'd go, yeah, you played a song.

You can make a song in a vacuum. I mean, you can. There's guys who have created the most amazing fucking songs, and then they, like, let you play them or let you listen to them, and you're like, whoa. Like, how long have you guys been working on this? Like, if you have friends that are in a band, they're like, four months. Like, holy shit. Yeah. They can do it all and put it together from start to finish without anybody else involved

other than the producers and them. Yeah. We can't do that. No. We can't. Anybody who tries is crazy. There's no way. Didn't somebody try to do a studio stand-up album?

Didn't someone? No. Well, there was this special. Rod Carmichael directed that one. Drew Michael. Drew Michael. That's right. Drew Michael did the no audience

comedy show yeah take out the best part that room just got quiet everyone trying to not shit on Drew Michael I was just doing an impression of his audience

I was quite confused it was confusing but what do you do you're Drew Michael you're a young comic 10 years in HBO you're like

I gotta do it fuck I gotta do it, fuck. I gotta do it. Drakonok wants to produce it, no audience, let's see what happens. There's no way you could feel anything other than weird doing stand-up that you're used to doing in front of an audience to no audience. You would be fighting feeling weird the entire time you were talking, because you know there's no one there. So you're just talking into a camera. just talking to a camera. You gotta feel very strange. The audience that's watching, to be honest with you, needs a laugh track.

The reason laugh tracks exist on TV shows is because the audience sometimes they just need to be told, ah, here's the moment. There we go. Right, but Caribbean enthusiasm

doesn't have a laugh track. It's one of the funniest shows of all time. No, if you need the, it's not the laugh track, it's what's the energy that creates. Just that you're watching

like this performance, you're part of something, everyone's laughing, like you're supposed to be laughing along with them like laughing if a guy if Drew Michael

came to you in person and started saying those funny things to you like with that tone you'd be like this is uncomfortable even if they're funny things get the fuck away from me dude

you'd feel weird when you hit a punchline to go it's like just you and him it's too intimate right you're not even but it's not even when you're doing stand up like you and him It's too intimate Right you're not even But It's not even

When you're doing stand up Like you and one person Like right Who the fuck would ever Talk like that That only works In front of large people So you're taking

Something that only works In front of groups of people Hey Joe Did you ever go to a Convenience store And the guy working there Is looking at you Like you're not gonna

Why are you saying it like this This is so weird So I said To the guy I says But stand up comedy is not just talking it is using the pauses and using the timing and using the moments where they're supposed to laugh there's so much more to it than just saying the jokes you know that that's the side of where you go it's like i just don't as an experiment i get it as like a youtube video i get it but as as your first big special i would want there to be an audience there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, probably. 100%. But I think

Gerard is just a creative guy, and he had this idea, and he just ran with it. I heard he wanted to do it for himself. Yeah, he said he wanted to do it for himself. Did you see the Aziz one, where Spike Jones was filming it? He was on stage the whole time. And they filmed it where you could see the back behind the stage.

People sweeping up. People mulling around in the back behind the stage people like sweeping up people mulling around in the back i i found it distracting it's extremely distracting just i didn't understand why that would be a good idea you don't this isn't like you happen to be filming oh we happen to film as he's working out here and you see a bunch of people in the background but it doesn't matter the material is good you'll enjoy this well there's no yeah this is a fucking you're intentionally making it what if you want to have concept if you want to have concept to the thing or concept like kind of bookend the show like the show it seems like it's all like hey look over here to be like i really didn't have like a an hour i'm super happy with i'm not even i haven't seen

the material of it to know i'm not saying aziz it's not a good hour i just feel like when you're throwing fluff I would want Les Fluff to draw to like hey listen to these jokes like please don't pay attention

like we have the first ever overhead 3D camera like on this shot Spike Jonze so I think you don't get it I think it's one

of those things where it's like hey man I'd love it if you directed it and he'd be like okay but I want to do something different right

and then you're like I trust you you're a master at what you do I'm a master at what I do let's collaborate. And I get it.

It was like when Steve Jobs, the first Apple logo, he just paid $250,000 for. And the deal was he didn't get any revisions. He got to have a conversation about what he wanted to feel. And then this weird fucking artist went and created the logo and was like, here it is. And that's that. Okay, that's a bad deal. Maybe Steve Jobs is not the businessman we imagined.

That's a lot of money for a deal. I may or may not use your fucking design. I need to see it first. I need to have the design for all. Can I see a sketch? What do you think he was going to do? $250,000? We're not even successful yet. We don't even have a logo.

I'll give you $250 and if? We're not even successful yet. We don't even have a logo. It was pretty easy. I'll give you $250, and if I like it, you're a fucking asshole. Can you create a logo for my company? What's it called? Apple? Yeah, I got an idea. You just threw an apple? Yeah, I got an idea.

I'm going to bite out of it, bitch. He took a quarter mil and banged that out in six minutes. Is there a fucking thing that divides this country more than right, left? It might be Android versus iPhone. Yeah, but people aren't boycotting businesses over it. No, they're not. But people look down on people with Android phones. They sure do.

It's amazing. Why, like they're less than? It's just one of those things. It's like if you have an iPhone, you're in. And if you have an Android phone, you're on that other fucking team. It's just like the bare minimum. If you don't have an iphone you're in and if you have an android phone you're on that other fucking team it's just like the bare minimum if you don't have an iphone you're a fucking loser yeah that's what it is like i was an android guy for years and i used to i used to be one of the guys what's the big difference who gives a shit and then i got an iphone i was like

oh yeah i don't know what is the difference uh the it's the difference is just the way your fingers i don't know it's the sleekness it's the. Just whatever it is from going from one thing to the next. If you're opening up a text or going to a phone, everything is just very seamless, and it's smooth, and it feels very natural and very nice. And Android, because so many different people use that sort of Android platform, it's always clunky, and it's not exactly the same, so it never feels as smooth. Once you get used to your iPhone, that's that. I agree, but I know very successful people that stick by android yeah the newest android phones are pretty

fucking smooth if you if you picked up like um galaxies whatever yeah like a galaxy s10 those those are smooth fucking phone man those things are as good as anything there's a bunch of phones now on the the side of android that rival or are better than iphones yeah with some of the technologies ahead 10 the note 10 that just came out is there one that's not android or iphone that's like dope that people just don't know about that's like no other operating system which is really weird it's like you have you have three operating systems you have uh you have iphones you have android and there's still a few people that have Windows phones, believe it or not. Blackberry? Who the fuck uses that?

I think they came out with a new Blackberry. Tom Segura uses Blackberry? He loves it, yeah. I think that's a joke, though. I think that's a gag. If I text him, it goes blue. He's got a fucking iPhone. It's like Ori.

Ori pretends to not have a fucking real phone. Yeah. Ori's got multiple phones, pads. He's a fucking Ori pretends to not have a fucking real phone. Yeah. Ori's got multiple phones, pads. He's a fucking phony asshole. I talked to him about it one time. He does have it, but he doesn't use it. Oh, okay. He has it. Okay.

Yeah, he's got it. I think it was a joke, though. I think he really did miss those little... If you had a BlackBerry back in the day, the thing about texting people, you knew where everything was. You knew where those buttons were. You could text pretty quick. That little ball would break.

It was so fucking annoying. annoying yeah that thing would break but uh the difference between that and an iphone is pretty substantial but the difference between iphones and android is not substantial anymore but don't you like like i just know operating system is pretty fucking i know the iphone i can't go back i just know it i don't want to relearn a new phone i sat down is now since steve jobs is gone that iphone's catching up on the technology to android though android's like getting a lot of things you go look what my iphone does now someone has android goes that we've had two generations of that the argument though would be that they wait until the technology is out and all the bugs are knocked out of it and then they give you a superior version

of it yeah that's the argument i mean look it's the most successful company in the fucking history of the known universe they have it's shit fuck tons of cash i can't believe they didn't get like the folding phone first i don't think that thing's worth a fuck i want a folding phone i couldn't guess it it looks like it's weird in here making it fatter origami how about just give me this this is a good shape you folks stop yeah they're just constantly we got to figure out how to get a brick yeah yeah but you can roll it up like a little like a little fortune cookie worried about is the elon musk thing the neural link you hearing about that uh i'm not sure what is that it's the step the next step to integrating computers with your fucking brain that's yeah it's gonna happen right if it's not this elon

musk's thing doesn't do that then the next thing will but the the ultimate goal is going to be we're going to have pieces in our body what's the name chips something some computer what the word of like merging with the the body yeah yeah yeah i was gonna say cyborg cyborg yeah but that's true too singularity singularity that's what that's what a child I have. Yeah, but that's true too. Singularity. Singularity. That's what I was thinking. Oh, the singularity is what they think would be the ultimate technological innovation that radically transforms mankind. And they move that number around.

And I think the singularity they think for artificial intelligence, there was a symposium in New York a few years back that Ari and I and Duncan Trussell went to. I think it was like 2045. That's when they think. They think at 2045, these things are going to go live. And there'll be robot, just like ex machina type people walking around with us. Oh, for sure.

I mean, I think I heard part of the conversation you had with Elon Musk, and it was one of the most interesting things. Because for a while I was going, yeah, dude, if you just put your phone down, people don't really give a shit. You go to the supermarket, people aren't arguing arguing about politics but eventually what's going to happen is the phones are going to be in our fucking brains and you're never going to be able to put the phone down and it's going to be that's the world we

live in where we are just at war and that's where it's fucking scary that's what i don't like about we jump in too quick too hasn't already been like a whole bunch of like self-driving car accidents terrible things happen but Way more human accidents. It's better. Is it more human accidents per amount of cars, though? Do you know what I'm saying? Self-driving cars, you're not supposed to just sit there. You're supposed to hold on to the wheel.

I keep a hand on the wheel. It makes you do that. You can't just drive it. You can't just sit back. It needs you do that You can't just drive it It doesn't You can't just sit back It needs you to be engaged Tell that to little Duvall Who just takes videos of him Like taking a nap And smoking joints out the window

He's not involved at all So can you get that like Blocked for the sensors Like to take them off I'm assuming it's a sensor type thing There's a thing that you can do That's actually like a iPhone mount

Like a cell phone mount And it sits on the handle And it keeps pressure on the handle, so the handle thinks that you're holding onto the handle. And you have your iPhone on it, so it's an iPhone holder. So they sell it as an iPhone holder, but really what it is is something that squeezes on the handle.

But they can't sell it as that, because that would be illegal. It should be illegal. It's pretty goddamn good, that thing, that auto-drive shit. Eventually, I way more trust Autodrive. I trust them to be able to come up with the technology where they have everything on perfect grids, where we all get in our cars,

and the absolute fastest way for us to get from point A to point B is already mapped out. Traffic, all that shit. That's not that crazy. I feel like that has to be within 20, 30 years. Wait, it changes lanes and everything? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it changes lanes.

Did it blow your mind the first time you were on a highway with it? It blows your mind. Were you terrified the first time? How cool would that be? It sucked your dick? That's coming. Oh, that's coming. It probably won't ever suck your dick.

It'll probably just give you the experience in a chip. While you click. She appears. 3D hologram lady appears and starts blowing you. It feels like it's real but nothing's there it's Whitney Houston you get celebrities

wow remember how they made the future in 80s movies though where the dick sucking car would actually be like a hose would come out of the ground

that would be the look at the a mouth hose would you really trust that mouth hose with your cock I want to wait until the third

or fourth version I watched Total Recall recently which is like you know the new one or the old one not total recall the one uh the running man oh wow and it was like when he was holding the girl hostage she was in the house like let's look up uh what flights are around

it's just such obvious like atari graphics on the screen it's like the year 2050 no one really has good ideas of what the future is going to be even Even Minority Report, when they're moving stuff around on the screen, like maybe, maybe someday. But no one's done anything where you go, wow, that would be amazing if that was it. I'm sure there was a list. That's sort of the Apple thing, though, is that Apple tries to make their stuff live up to what they made like 1950s space movies be. Everything's like very metallic and sleek looking.

The Gatt looking like the uniform the packaging as well dude i do apple's a great company they really are but when you open up an iphone or an apple product the packaging they it has like an air thing where it lifts naturally and it's all based off the experience like when you open it you you go i've never opened another product like this and they do that on purpose and it's this subconscious thing that they fucking put into your mind and that's why you go dude just I don't know what it is, dude. iPhone. I can't put my finger on it.

That's why chicks buy expensive bags. Yep. Same thing. Like, ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Quality. This will last forever.

If you write, though, if you write a lot and type a lot, they're the shittiest. Their fucking keyboards are dog shit. The new ones, they're clickety, clickety, clickety. There's no travel. They're just clickety're clickety, clickety, clickety. There's no travel. They're just clickety, clickety, clickety, clickety. And shit gets stuck in them, and they're trying to figure out how to fix that. My space bar doesn't work on my Apple, so I've copied the space. So whenever I write, I have to.

It's just not comfortable for typing on. Like, how much fucking thinner does it have to be? Jesus Christ. I know you guys are trying to make them thin, but make them so they're comfortable to type on. What you do is make it thicker. Just make it. It doesn't have to be that thin, man. Yeah, big old gray keyboard is the most comfortable thing.

The old school, the thing that we learned. But I think it's because we learned how to type on that. No, it's because they're mechanical. Your fingers feel the tactile sensation of pushing in those springs. So it's like clickity, clickity, click, clickity, clickity, click. And your fingers know where the keys are. When don't get any feedback you make a lot of errors like it's not as easy it takes a long time to get accustomed to that short travel keyboard that you get on those really thin macbooks i have a 2015 macbook i went and got an old one refurbished

because i hate the fucking new keyboard it's like i don't know what i'm touching yeah it's not it's not moving it's so so shallow but apparently they're gonna fix that dude i have an ibm or not an ibm a lenovo thinkpad that thing is like the old ibm thinkpads with lenovo bought the company and now they make them they you you feel the keys it's like as you're typing you know which they have like 1.5 millimeters of travel which is like clickety click. The next time I copy it me and Joe are going to have a typing competition. I think I could I make no mistakes on the new Apple.

It's fine. I think once you're used to it, you're used to it. I think you need to let yourself go to the new technology. I'd use both of them but I like the typing way better on the Lenovo. It's just this is not like just me. This is a big thing that people who write a lot say is that you want something that has a lot of key travel because 1.5, preferably maybe even 1.8 millimeters, something like that,

when you're doing that, you get a real good feel of where the keys are. You don't fuck up as much. You also feel like you've hit the – you know you've hit the button. Yeah you've hit the button yeah it gives you this feedback and you don't think about what i find is that i'm writing on one of those things i don't think about the keys as much as i just i'm concentrating on writing where i like otherwise i'm like oh that little extra thing where you got to look down oh i fucked up and i hit that instead of that that doesn't happen as much way less how often are you guys washing your keyboards i feel bad every time my son touches my computer i'm like probably keeping them healthy there's so much fucking bacteria on that keyboard cover and

they use that dust blast thing it's great oh yeah i don't use any of that just blow and come right out of your circuit board gross your fucking kitchen table's gross everything's gross i know do you think about like homeless people touching guardrails it's like you go and touch that like ah homeless people the subway the subway rails must be just oh it's brutal but you have to the amount of times i've i've done this in new york city like i'll be going to put my hand on the hand i just don't touch handrails anymore and i make sure that my son doesn't but I've just been putting my hand down the rail

and then I just pick up a booger, like a human booger and I'm like, okay, that just ruined my week. The story just ruined my hour. Damn,

dude, you snatched a booger. I've definitely said, you gotta flick it and then it gets stuck on your thumb and you flick it again and it gets stuck

on that finger. Something about other dudes' boogers, that's really funny. There's no way, that would end my day. And your own kid's booger, I'll pick my son's nose in a heartbeat but just a random. That's different though. Yeah. That's really. There's no way. That would end my day. And your own kid's booger. I'll pick my son's nose in a heartbeat.

Ew. But just a random. That's different though. Yeah. That's your own son. I mean he's six now. You should stop. Yeah.

But. Definitely stop picking his nose. How old is it when you'd be really concerned if your son is still sucking their thumb? How many years in? Shit. When it's a dick. Wait. That's not what we're talking about.

When it's not a thumb anymore. Be concerned until you confirm and then go okay. Well now I know. when it's a dick. Wait. When it's not a thumb anymore. Be concerned until you confirm and then go, okay, well, now I know. My son never sucked his thumb,

so, yeah. Like if you had a kid, though. If you had a boy. I have a girl. She never sucked her thumb. She loves sucking thumb.

You don't have any kids. I got an eight-month-old. Oh, you do? Yeah, since the last time I saw you. I didn't know you were out there breeding. I am. Congratulations.

Now you've become even more libertarian, correct? Yeah, but not with her. I'm an authoritarian with my baby. I make the decisions there. That's a good move. Don't let babies call the shots. No. It'll be just sugar and guns.

Teach a baby how to shoot a gun. A baby could actively shoot a gun. You know how much of a fucking giant problem that would be like if a baby was just like now i'm feeling like i'm not enough of a libertarian yeah because here's a gun go homestead some land their body can't really hold a gun and shoot it right it would go flying there's no way but if they could do you know how what a great time they would think it would be to shoot things? If you're a fucking baby and you had a gun, you're just like, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do, right? They love it.

The projectiles my son has, there's Nerf guns. That's how I know he's not gay. He loves to shoot things. There's a lot of gay people that shoot things. No. That's how I know he's not gay. He kept shooting his friend in the face the other day. What about bears?

What do you think about bears? I think he was hiding the bullets in his butt. If you had a bunch of bears that you couldn't take them out to like a shotgun range and shoot clay pigeons. Yeah, for like 50 minutes

before they started fucking each other. Yeah, eventually. Yeah. Oh my God, the shape of this guy is getting me so horny. They're guys.

They're just guys who like guys. They got the wacky wire. But the gay kids that I grew up, I'm sure, yes, there are gay guys who like to do

doodly dude things right oh definitely but but doodly dude thing you know you know no i mean how many gay friends you have they're like we should really go shooting guns right now let's go hunt i bet there's a bunch they want to shop and that's fine they want to shop they do they want to go but isn't it like girls like There's girls that are like woodsy girls. Girls who want to live in the woods and shit. Yeah. I think these are exceptions. If you're a gay mountainy guy and you're into other mountainy guys,

probably going to have an all right life. It's also pretty hot. Gay mountainy guys alone just fucking bolting down the door before they butt fuck, looking out the window. Make sure the neighbors don't know what. So are you fellas brothers and sisters? What? Brother and brother?

What's going on here? They run a seasonal marina, and then they just suck and fuck in the off season. Yeah, you go down the road where those two homos live. Yeah. Those two woodsy homos. There's a couple of what? There's a couple of how do you do's living in the old fishing house. Don't get me wrong.

Great guys. Great guys. I got no problem. No problem with them. All they do is chop wood and butt fuck. That was the bagel boss guy when he said that. He goes, I got no problem with gay people. He goes, just don't touch me, you know?

Especially in the private area. Then we'll have the problem. I go, is that what your life's worried about? You don't want to hang out around gay people because they're probably just going to start grabbing viciously at your dick. Do you think that guy's going to stick in there? Do you think he's going to be like Joe the Plumber? Or do you think he's going to have some legs to him?

No, I think this is going to go away. I think Lenny Dykstra's going to knock him out unconsciously. He's 5'10". He's a former. I know he's got alcohol problems and shit, but he's got those big hands. I saw the video of him getting arrested the other day. He's going to hit the bagel boss? Lenny Dykstra's fighting bagel boss in his celebrity boxing.

Oh, no. That's terrible. And Lenny Dykstra's older now, but he's Lenny Dykstra. He's a lunatic. He's only like 55, something like that. Yeah, he looks like 70,

but he's still a fucking stocky dude. Lenny Dykstra's going to fuck him up. Bagel boss guy is 4'8". He's, I mean... What's he? He's 4... He's really small. There's no chance. There's no chance.

There's no chance. Don't. You've seen that guy. He went to one of someone's MMA gym. And he was hanging out with a bunch of fighters. And he was throwing punches and dancing around the ring. I want to say Matt Serra. Was it Matt Serra?

Chris Weidman? Yeah, he's a Long Island guy. Yeah, so he was out there. He's not like, he doesn't have a background in martial arts. Like, you could tell. No, yeah, it's over. He can't really fight. And he's also out of shape.

He's out of shape, and he's a tiny little fella. Fight like a butterfly, sting like a butterfly. There's no learning how to fight, getting in shape, doing it all. He's too small. Yeah, Lenny Dexter looks like he's been in a bunch of fist fights. I'm sure he has He was jacked at a point in his life I mean like shredded

And you're not losing that strength Even if he's out of shape He's still a strong bulky guy This isn't even a conversation He's going to kill him So you're saying lay heavy Lay heavy on Lenny The whole

Push it all in On Lenny. You bet. The whole house. The whole. Push it all in on Lenny Dykstra. Are you crazy? He's a fucking pro athlete. I think there's no integrity in celebrity boxing, though. I don't know if you could bet a zillion dollars. Is that him now? Yeah, it's him now.

So I'd say he's. He's only 55. That's crazy. No, he's older than that, isn't he? Isn't he? Maybe a little bit older. He's older than that. I just looked it up the other day.

It's nice. So he's not that old. He was a legit wild man. Yeah, when he was little bit older. He's older than that. I just looked it up the other day. So he's not that old. He was a legit wild man. Yeah, when he was that right there. He looks like Mike Pacquiao. Yeah, he was fucking. That guy was a legit wild man. Look at that.

Lenny Dystra indicted for drugs threats following arrest in May. Yeah, he's winning this fight. His Uber driver. He was high on ecstasy and coke and got into an argument with his Uber driver. And then threatened his life when the cops come. Did he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what happened? Yeah, the cops come and they're like, like yeah this guy's saying he's afraid for his life he's like what for me for me it's the place so innocent it's hilarious oh that's funny and then they start checking his bag and he starts freaking out about them going through his

bag it's 56 yeah wow wow i thought he was older than that even damn living them hard years son ahead of celebrity fight lenny dykstra says bagel boss has one inch penis that is outrageous click older than that even. Damn. He's living them hard years, son. Ahead of Celebrity Fight, Lenny Dykstra says Bagel Boss has one inch penis. That is outrageous. Click on that, please. That's so rude. The world we live in.

Lenny Dykstra went on Howard Stern and did like a, he said like he had girls come on to say how good he eats pussy and they were like swearing him down. They were real. And then Stern, it was like comics. He brought comedians from la and then the comedians

immediately just used it for like a credit and then just debunked his whole thing so he flew them in for nothing oh that's funny it's uh crazy that he's gonna hit that little guy because that's so so wrong i guess the little guy feels like he can just go down quick. Yeah. In celebrity boxing, it doesn't usually get too brutal, I think. This guy's going to punch him once and it might kill him. Bonaduce used to go for it, though. That's not going to help you.

Headgear doesn't help you at all. Headgear sometimes makes it worse because you get all this extra weight and your head snaps more. If you get headgear on, that's more shit that you have to control like one of the things about having a strong neck is when you get punched you can kind of control your head from moving around too much some guys can take it better but if you have headgear on it's like extra weight and your brain sloshes around inside your head i mean it protects you from cuts more than anything yeah there's there's an argument that it protects you from cuts more than anything. There's an argument that it'll protect you

from cuts, but protecting you from the thud, because it's not, it's the fucking rocking of your brain. You know, in some ways,

it's a real mixed bag. In some ways, it's better to have headgear on, because it is a little more cushioning, but in other ways, like, it's...

I think it makes you way more dangerous. You followed it on and took it off, because I was surprised you did that, but you were like, it just fucked it. Well, I didn't want to fight with the headgear. I tried to change it at the end. You followed it on and took it off because I was surprised you did that, but you were like, it's just fucking. Well, I didn't want to fight with the headgear.

I tried to change it at the end because I started sparring with it, and it fucking sucks dick, dude. You can't breathe. You can't see that good. You can't see. When you start grappling, you start feeling like you're being smothered right away, no matter what. As soon as they touch your head, you feel like it starts moving up in your face.

So I tried to get them to take it off, and they wouldn't. And then my headgear broke in the first minute of the fight, and they were like, all right, fuck it, take it off and they wouldn't. And then my headgear broke like in the first minute of the fight. And they were like, all right, fuck it. Take it off. Cause it was a shit show. So we both took off our headgear and I was like, all right, sweet. Where's the rules? Yeah.

Yeah. Headgear's a tricky thing. You know, it's like, they think that about football helmets too, that they would actually be a safer game if they couldn't clash heads with a helmet on that. They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't play like that. That's just not true. Them clashing skulls

it's not safer but the idea is that the only reason why they play that way is because the helmets in the foot shoulder gear yeah if you took that stuff away they wouldn't play like that yeah back in the day they had they barely had any pads in you know 30s or 40s or whatever when they were playing with those little tiny helmets bro that game if you were an outsider like if you didn't know how big it was, like if you didn't understand anything about the cultural significance of football and they showed you all the brain damage and they showed you what it is, you'd be like, oh, yeah, make that illegal.

Yeah, probably. If anything, it should be illegal. Stop doing that, kids. It's too constant. Don't run into each other. Don't smash heads. That's crazy. I can't believe.

The defensive-offensive line, just the idea that it's the funniest thing. As soon as you say go, just clunk heads with another human being. But of course, we don't want it to be illegal. And it's a fun thing to watch. And it's a great way for some guys to make a fuckload of money and weigh the risks versus the rewards. Yeah, but then a bunch of middle schoolers are snapping their necks. And my kid will never play football. Oh, yeah.

But where do you stop? They could then, they could illegalize MMA with that justification.ma with that uh justification i don't want that to happen it's because we we punching and kicking is so inherently violent that's what we see it as being this violent act right that it's we go oh shit fighting that's like crazy that's the most violent sport but it's so much less of a dangerous sport than football. Football, these guys are just running headfirst at each other, and every one of them, every one of them has major, major issues. You also get blindsided in football. You'll have your eye on someone,

and then you get head-to-head taken out from someone else. That doesn't happen as much in MMA. But, I mean, when people get head kicked, knocked unconscious, that's not good for your brain. No, but how often are football players being concussed just per game like just smashing each other and then they get up and they just do it again and again and again well now they're a little bit stricter i think on like if you get a concussion they they won't put you back in at least the way they used to like when i was a kid but it's still happening i think fighters are what getting concussed once every if you know

once a year if if they're getting knocked out once a year? I mean, you know. But there's also sub-concussive trauma, which seems to be the problem with CTE. It's not just the knockouts. It's just the thumps. Over and over again. The constant thumps over and over and over. And training, sparring.

Yeah, these guys. They think that's the real problem. That's why also soccer players are getting it. Right. Soccer players are starting to get CTE. So what's worse, like, getting, like, a Conor McGregor one-punch knockout or fighting Nick Diaz and just getting like... It's a good question. For five rounds.

Probably you're better off getting one-punch knockouts. Flash knockouts are probably better than... Yeah, you're probably better off getting dropped. Just getting beat up by Nick Diaz for 15 minutes would just suck. Wasn't that the actual... Wasn't the initial argument about MMA being safer than boxing is that it's not so much with the gloves being bigger in boxing and all that stuff that it's actually worse

because you're going to keep taking too many shots. Well, it's a 28 count as well. You can get knocked down and then get up and go right. You'll be concussed and like, all right, keep on fighting. Whereas in MMA, they'll stop it if you're not defending yourself. That's probably definitely better. The thing about 8 counts and ten counts, people have gotten off the deck and had amazing performances,

so you'd never want to stop it. Look at Tyson Fury. Gets off the deck twice against Deontay Wilder. In MMA, that fight would have been stopped. Right. So it's particularly the last round. When he dropped him, he would have definitely punched him a few times and he would have been out cold because he was flat.

Yeah, yeah. Flat on his back. In MMA, that would be the end of the fight. And we are lucky it wasn't. Because he got up like a fucking superhero and even won the rest of the round. He outboxed him for the rest of the round. He survived the initial barrage and then started catching him as he was coming in. And as Deontay was being reckless, he caught him one time, like stung him.

And you're like, holy shit shit he's winning this round now he's winning the rest of the round after getting almost obliterated so there's an argument that that's better the crazy thing entertainment value but the crazy thing from the CTE like perspective about boxing to me is that you'll people will get hit and then they get hit and grab someone because that's just everyone's instinct and they grab them and then you have a little ref who goes no no no no keep keep punching the heads like don't don't do anything to avoid from it no no no step it back out and then they and that in mma you'll see a lot someone get hit and then you know they get into a clinch and you get a few minutes in a clinch where they're kind of like okay i'm not taking all the damage right now but the smart thing about that is that's how

you're supposed to fight like you're giving people options to defend themselves. It shouldn't be you can't defend yourself other than punching back. That seems kind of crazy. But I could grab him and just stop these punches. No, no, no, against the rules. What kind of rules do we have? You can only beat me up if I let you beat me up? That was one of the points that the Gracie's used to make.

You could both look like pussies and dance around for a half hour. Do you remember the original Gracie videos that they'd make in early UFC? Graciefc in action yeah and what they used to say all the time was and it's so true it's so interesting is that if two boxers just have a street fight they're going into a clinch and it's probably going to end up on the ground at some point sometimes like because the ref has to break up a clinch over and over and over again to make boxing happen like even when even when you're a professional boxer and you don't know anything about wrestling or grappling, you still end up grabbing the other guy because that's just like... The only time that doesn't take place is when one guy knows how to strike and the other

guy doesn't. And you see a lot of those videos online where two dudes decide to get into some sort of a street altercation and one guy actually is like a boxer and he catches the guy and the guy falls and bounces his head off the concrete out cold. There's a bunch of those videos. Yeah, that's bad. That's different. See, the thing about the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is like

you've got to always be aware there's people like that out there. There's always guys who can punch you in the face. And if they know how to wrestle too and they can keep you away and just keep punching you in the face, you better know how to take them down. You just don't know, dude.

Fuck, 2019, you have no idea. Who knows who what? Now people know shit. You've got to look at their ears. You've don't know, dude. Fuck, 2019, you have no idea. Who knows what? Now people know shit. You gotta look at their ears. You gotta look for little signs. Like, look in their eyes, shake their hand.

Look at the size of their necks. Yeah, dude. Dudes with skinny necks aren't getting choked. Yeah, as far as like skill, like,

definitely, yeah, you don't know. It's a weird time for fighting, you know? It's like, and we, I like both kinds.

I like just stand-up only fights. I like watching those and I like mixed martial arts fights. But I think Terrence Crawford's coming on next, and I think watching someone like him box, when you see the skill level that that guy has, switching stances, doing all kinds of befuddling people, getting their range, figuring them out,

and then just teeing them out with perfect timing, that's almost only possible, that kind of artistry if there's no wrestling right there's no leg kicks if there's only the boxing that's the only way you see that like that that kind of like beautiful accommodate because otherwise you would do other shit too you know you would leg kick you would try to take them down and that so you like the level of dominance that a real floyd mayweather a real world champion boxer has with their hands. It's hard to really appreciate until you see it live and you know what you're seeing.

If you're in the building with a guy and he's beating somebody up and they're sparring, it's like you go, oh, you guys are playing two totally different games. Boxing, I literally look at boxing as very much a sport, and I think MMA is the closest thing that we have to competitive fighting. 100%. That's sort of like the difference. It's, you know, all things considered, it's still not fighting.

You can't grab somebody's fucking balls and yank them off their body and bite their nose. I know. You used to be able to. You used to be able to. You used to not be able to bite. You couldn't bite and you couldn't eye gouge. Hit him with a fucking trash can lid. You can't fish hook.

But you used to be able to punch the balls. There was a fucking great video of Keith Hackney fighting Joe Son. Joe Son got him in a headlock and Keith Hackney's just

hammering his dick. I mean, full blast punches over and over again. And you see Joe Son's going into shock. He takes a few of them and he's like,

I'm not letting go of this choke. And then by the fourth, fifth dick punch, it's like, this is all over, man. It's over. He was a few of them, and he's like, I'm not letting go of this choke. And then by the fourth, fifth dick punch, it's like, this is all over, man. It's over. He was a drained man. Who was, was it Kimo? Was he headbutting Hoist Gracie? Yeah, he headbutted

him a bunch. Yeah, dude, that was fucking brutal. Brutal. There was a lot of headbutting back in the days. It was an effective weapon. And it makes us, like, oh, that's awful, but... Small finger locks never work. But there's all these other bones how come you're allowed to hit with these bones but you can't hit with that bone yeah also i would rather be headbutted by a guy that i don't give a shit what there's no there's not

much technique in headbutting i would rather be headbutted than be head kicked by a dude who knows how to head kick you think there's no technique but there really is there's guys that spar and uh they fight in lethway and lethway is a type of uh muay thai where they put ropes uh over their knuckles that's the only thing they have and they're allowed to headbutt and it's some wild ass shit and they do headbutt combinations on the pad like they'll do tap tap bang they'll like use their head and train it. Wow. And learn how to. See if you can find that. Lethway. W-E-I-T-L-U-T-H. You know who does commentary for it?

It's our friend Robin Black. He does commentary for Lethway. But this is a brutal form of Muay Thai where you're allowed to headbutt. Because they're already elbow. And I think they're thinking, well, if I can knee and if I can punch, I can do all these things why can't i headbutt it's right there his fucking face is right there well you remember what uh what mark coleman used to do like he got a few ufcs in before the head butts were illegal dude he would he would smash people with the head butts so here look at this dude with this combination watch this so this is a robin robin black breakdown when he he go this

dude goes off to the side, pushes the dude's head away, and then immediately comes in with a perfect headbutt. Boom. He's just slamming him in the face on purpose with the top of his head. So he's trying to hit his eyes

and his nose and the soft tissue. He's trying to hit that with the hard part of his forehead. Yeah, I think that would do a lot more damage than a fist. I feel like a headbutt only works one out of every thousand times. No, man.

No, no, no. No, this guy does it a lot. And if you do it this way, the way he's doing it, you're taking a really hard part of your forehead and you're smashing against a soft part of the eyes and the nose. This part of your forehead is hard as fuck, man. Yeah. Most guys who break their hand in fights break their hands on their heads Especially boxing. The tequila reality show where the two guys were fighting over and that was a reality show remember that?

Oh he broke his chin open dude? He split his shit up. It separates his teeth. He takes the headbutts to the mouth It's spitting out. It's like the blood's not turning You ever see someone get cut where the blood's not turning red yet it's black deep it's like it's yeah he doesn't it's not just teeth splitting what happens is his jaw splits down the middle where you literally see his teeth separate because it's cracks in half like that it's the most horrific thing i've ever seen this is vh1 by the way i saw that video hits classics i saw that in a woman's fight really yeah yeah it was uh randy couture's wife kim couture oh wife, Kim Couture. Oh, yeah.

She fought. She got her jaw broken, and it was separated. And she went out and fought the next round. Wow. With the jaw separated. Like the Predator. Like Org's asshole? Inside.

Inside. It was moving around. And then she had to get it wired up and fixed after the fight. It was crazy. The footage of her. In the sixth grade, he got into after the fight. It was crazy. A kid that I knew in the sixth grade, he got into a fist fight with this other kid, and this other kid had brass knuckles.

And brass knuckles were regular. You could buy them at the mall when I was a kid. Martial arts. You could get butterfly knives, nunchucks. Yeah, flying stars. Yeah, brass knuckles. You could just go in as 12 and buy deadly weapons. Yeah, man. Those little stores that would sell nunchucks size yeah size hell yeah baton number two batons so this kid had brass

knuckles and he fucking drilled this kid in the face and broke his jaw and for the whole school year like half school year he had a have a wired jaw he's just drinking chocolate milk at lunch every day what happened he didn't even tell. What happened to the kid who punched him? Couldn't even tell the story. What happened to the kid who punched him? He was a kid, so it wasn't like juvie or anything like that. It was just like he got in trouble. Well, that's it? Yeah. He got arrested?

No. Oh, my God. Didn't get arrested. Didn't get arrested. And they all go to school together after that? They didn't even remove the brass knuckle kid from the school? It didn't happen at school. It happened at a school.

I don't think the kid who did it. I know the kid who did it. I don't think he went to the same school. Hey, man. Sorry for hitting you with brass knuckles. from the school? It didn't happen at school. It happened at a school. I don't think the kid who did it, I know the kid who did it, I don't think he went to the same school. Hey, man, sorry for hitting you with brass knuckles. Try the math, Homer.

Dude. It was cool. That's terrifying. That's where it's like you just don't want to fuck with people. Well, kids who get beat up at home, too.

Kids who get beat up by their parents, they're ready to beat people up. Of course. It becomes a part of your everyday life you're mad at people you hit them mad at people that are small and you get away with it you hit

them yeah i don't think people talk about that enough they talk about all the violence in the world and nobody's talking about the fact that since kids are toddlers they're being hit by the people that are supposed to protect the most and it fucks them up psychologically and it does something to them it's awful and it's a cycle right you hit your kids because your dad hit you and that's what made you the man that you are today. That kind of horseshit. But it's so weird that it's the only relationship where if you bring up this topic, people will justify hitting. It's the only, like, no one will publicly justify hitting their chick or hitting their grandfather.

Because they take it personally like you're attacking their parents. Right. They take it like they go, like, my mom's not a bad, my mom's a good mom. You know, I deserved it. They'll tell you that. I it it's crazy isn't it so weird that if anyone if you said publicly like uh you know that you give your girlfriend a slap if she acts the wrong way everyone would universally be like that is just pure evil but if you say the same thing to my two-year-old my three-year-old everyone's just kind of like well and then even more than that

if you say if your girl if my man talks too much shit i smack him in his face girls will be like you go girl yes that's true but i also don't care that's like that motherfucker no but that's because the power dynamic is the opposite way you know like but you're talking about the i'm not dating cyborg you make a good point that's a serious problem if you're dating cyborg yeah seriously guys she's hitting me whatever her hands are the fucking real issue yeah weak weak hit she's gone huh out of the ufc yeah man they fucked up that sucks they made a video where it made it look like dana white was saying that he they just docked they added words that he didn't say that was stupid so dumb do you think it was uh malicious or do you think it was a legitimate mistake in terms of translating there's

no way it could be anything other than stupid whoever it's done on purpose if it's it was malicious or do you think it was a legitimate mistake in terms of translating it? There's no way it could be anything other than stupid. It was done on purpose. It was done on purpose. So it was just a stupid idea. That's all it is. And it's really bad timing. Whatever it is. Whoever did it, that's just a terrible error.

And it's really bad timing because she was almost uncuttable last year. But now Amanda Nunes came and kind of took that juice, and now it's like, ugh. She's damaged goods if she decides to leave the UFC without a Nunes rematch. If she beats Nunes, she gets it all back. She's still a big enough of a star. Yeah, she'd go to 1FC.

She'd go to 1FC. She'd go to Bellator. She'd go to a lot of places, and she'd still be welcome with open arms. She's a walk down the street and gets a huge pop star. She shows up at those weigh-in shows and the crowd

flocks to her. I remember just thinking that about her. I saw her one time and there was... I forget what event it was. She came to the Garden show and just sat in the front row

of the UFC at the Garden and the place was like... They were so excited for her just turning around and waving at people. She was the first female Terminator. Gina Carano?

That was the best. Horrific. Watching her beat up Gina Carano gives me nightmares to this day. It was a crazy fight. And the end of it, when there's a photo that we played on this podcast before of her, Cyborg's hand, palming Gina's head with black fingernails, and she's punching her in the face at the same time. She's holding her head and slamming her fist in the face. She's like, I want out.

Gina was queen when it was like three-minute rounds. They were like – Well, they all fought three-minute rounds back then for women. Yeah. Yeah. Half tops, panties. You know, she was taking some stuff, you know, for sure. Oh, sure.

Yeah, for sure. That's part of the issue. She tested was taking some stuff, you know, for sure. Oh, sure. Yeah, for sure. That's part of the issue. She tested positive for some stuff. It's, you know, that's part of what it is. It's part of what it is. The buildup to the Gina Carano fight was when she choked out the news guy,

right? That was, that wasn't kind of viral was her. I got news guy being like to put her in like a real naked choke and she choked him unconscious. He comes back to, it's like very uncomfortable and weird. She didn't want to do it and then he was like

you could you could do it it's fine and then he just looks on like he's like it was one of those bad knockouts where you get up and make noises believe that they're really gonna go out like that they don't believe they're gonna go out so quick yeah i learned in the sixth grade we used to do the thing where we would hyperventilate yeah yeah so you bend over. Okay. And then you just breathe really heavy for like a minute, as hard as you can. And then when you come up really fast, you're already lightheaded.

Then your friend puts his hands, his palms on your carotid arteries and just presses. Kind of light. And then within three seconds, you just slide down the wall. Whoa. It was my first time I ever got high. Yeah, but your friends will let you fall and hit your fucking head yeah dude i didn't know you fall and bounce your fucking head off a curve you gotta catch them i gotta knock them out i gotta catch them i don't think uh that's necessarily that bad for you but it's definitely not good for you like it's especially when you're

yeah 11 developing developing your brain yeah it probably shouldn't do it yeah don't be choking out but it's uh it happens all the time in the gym and no one and no one stops they get choked unconscious they wake up and they go back to rolling again and they the way they talk about it like it's a garden hose the garden hose shuts off the power to the brain then everything's fine but i'm like man you ain't a doctor you're just a guy who knows how to choke people show me some

long term studies on dudes who've been choked unconscious multiple times show me a doctor making garden hose analogies call me a bitch

I'll tap quick I'm not going unconscious man stop that's silly I don't want yeah that going unconscious

thing who knows what that's doing you're going to the netherlands you might come back a totally different person in a totally different life when you open your eyes like has it been a hundred years you come back with a false memory of the past totally new

dimension i've lived a hundred lives since then since i was knocked out that had that happens to guys because when they get hit and knocked out when they come to they do not know what happened and they have to be reminded over and over and over again. I mean, it must feel like you woke up in a new dimension. Like, it must feel surreal. Well, Bisping told me that story after the Dan Henderson fight. He literally had no idea what happened. It was like he had no idea where he was.

He didn't even thought he thought his fight was a few weeks out still. Yeah, that's it. It was scary shit. They said Ben Askren was saying he has no memory of like anything in the arena after that. Of course. That was one of the worst knockouts I've ever seen. That's what I was going to say too with that slow ass walk. He had to walk out of the arena so slow.

It was one of the worst knockouts of all time. The amount of power that your flying knee has when you're ducking into it is accentuated because he's going in for the takedown and he's got a strong takedown, right? So he's going in with everything he has face first. And Mondale's running at him. Oh, my God. That's the biggest impact I think the sport's ever seen. As we're talking about football players crashing into each other, that's the moment of impact.

The dangerous thing about two football players crashing their bodies into each other is exactly that. And they, super athletes, creating that momentum. I mean. Yes. It's nuts. How crazy is it to be undefeated, never to lose to anybody, and then that's your one, like, your one blemish is, like, the biggest knockout. That's it. And also Ben talks so much shit that it sucks.

Because I like Ben. I'm a big fan. He's really funny. I like Ben, too. He talks so much shit. And when you talk shit like that and then you fucking lose, you just got to eat those words. You know, he's marketed himself amazingly.

And then that's part of the marketing himself, is he has his own down-home version of talking shit. Even his boom-roasted thing. You could tell. It's like he's almost kind of playing a doofus character. Yeah. But he's a very smart guy. I had him on the podcast, and he sends me book recommendations and shit he's like a really well-read interesting guy

he just that's his character and is in his part of his strategies to annoy the fuck out of you but when you flatline him like that after a no him annoying the fuck out of you you know what's that word schadenfreude how has it what's that word yeah when people get their just desserts what is that called i don't know something like this it's uh the what the pleasure that you feel from someone else's obvious demise right is that how they sounds right is that it pleasure derived from another person's misfortune there you go that's what it is but that technique it's almost like in a weird way that's what he was trying to get masvidal to do like go crazy so the takedowns are there yes but if it doesn't work out it goes very bad well masvidal just took that chance with that flying knee entry and he practiced it over and over and over again and he kind of knew with

the way he circled see the way he circled he circled off to the side and then came out on that way well so he knew he would go at him with leaning into him that way. And so it perfectly tied because he was coming at him from the side. He knew he was going to lean in that way. But he also, Masvidal said he was like, I was real confident if he took me down, I was going to get back up.

And that does kind of demonstrate that. Like, if you're real concerned about the takedown, you're probably not going to open with sprinting into a flying knee. Which is funny because Masvidal is not even a dude who is known for being this unbelievable wrestler. The first time I saw Masvidal was an old school Kimbo Slice Miami

backyard fighting video. Oh yeah. Yeah, he did those. Dude, he came out and he fought this guy, I think his name was Big Ray. It was a guy who was like 230 pounds and it was George and it was like 180 pounds and he came out and he just boxed this dude up and it was george and it was like 180 pounds and he came out he just boxes dude up and it was so bad like all the kids were following like chickens running around a backyard it was so hardcore and then he ends up being a swimmer i think strike force a few years

later is when i saw him in mma and uh he's had a pretty crazy trajectory to be where he's at right now he is right on the cusp of being you know me if he if he can win the title he'd be one of the biggest stars in the sport he's one of the best motherfuckers in the sport for sure there's no doubt about it with everything he's super well-rounded he can do everything his takedown defense is amazing he's he's got some of the best hands in the division period i mean you look at him knocking out darren till with that leap in left hook the way the way he did it the way he set it up he landed it earlier and then he landed it again. He figured it out. He figured out a spot where this guy's open.

There's like this dip in what he does and he found that opening. He's gotten better, right? He's more dedicated. And now he wants a big payday and so they're probably talking about doing that Nate Diaz fight. He'll get a big payday out of that one. That's a big fight.

That fight will be huge Isn't it fucked up That Usman is the one That I'm almost Out of all of the guys We're talking about I'm least intrigued To watch fight next

Oh man I'm not I fucking love Watching that guy fight Because he's got this Marauding relentless style That's very similar To Colby's Except he hits harder

And he'll try To take people out But Colby Colby just keeps That heat on you yeah but colby's striking technique might be a little bit better doesn't hit quite as hard but the stuff he was showing against robbie lawler those jabs and body kicks and stuff i mean that was pretty impressive you know he's friends with my buddy cam haynes and they they train together and uh

can't cam's description of him he said listen the guy talks all this crazy shit right he's doing it but he never stops training he's just constantly training that's why he's got that insane cardio he knows that's his biggest weapon his biggest weapon is he's like he's like ready keep up and you got to try to keep up and he's fucking going and going and going and going and everybody wilts that's why i'm so interested to see usman fight because he's going to fight him and usman does the same thing to people that's what he did i think tyron i think Usman fight because he's going to fight him. And Usman does the same thing to people. That's what he did. I think there was issues with Tyron going to that fight. He looked like a shell of himself.

He wasn't firing back. But some of that you've got to give credit to Usman. That fucking pressure, that relentless pressure is striking, which is he knows how to fight long. He's got an incredible fucking ground-and-pound game. He's got real knockout power. Yeah, and Colby did a similar thing to Robbie Lawler where it kind of looked like, why isn't he firing back? Why isn't he?

Because his back's on the cage. He's getting taken down. He's getting jabbed constantly and never has a moment to just reset and take a deep breath because he's just on you the whole fight. Guys didn't used to fight that way. And I talked to Colby about this. We were talking about the principle of how hard do you

when you punch him, how hard do you punch him? He's like 70% so you just hit him with a steady stream of 70% you never see him bite down and fucking you never see that what DC always likes to call big actions those big actions those cost a lot of energy and you gotta figure out

when to do those. Maybe you're Francis Ngannou and those big actions lead to Alistair Overeem getting knocked into the Netherlands but if not then you're going to blow out your gas

like we saw him with Stipe Miocic. Yeah, lifting him over his head in the first round and how cool does that look that you're holding this huge guy over your head

and dropping him but then after that you kind of just get a takedown he gets back up to his feet and then by the fourth round you're kind of wondering, is that really good strategy to be lifting these guys over your head? I was talking about Stipe when Stipe fought Francis Ngannou.

Oh, that one. Stipe managed to avoid the big actions of Ngannou and then wear him out and then take him down and beat him up and retain the title. The only guy that's been able to survive Ngannou. The DC fight is a hard one to watch, man, because he's the best guy in the world. He's so nice i love that guy to death so watching him get his body destroyed because he kept digging those left hooks the body i was like part of me was like damn that's a pretty punch how loud were those

fucking loud but it's it's it wasn't it was the crispness of it he was he was standing in front of him popping him and then slide in and he would just stick that fucking left hook into the liver, and he just kept hitting it. Part of me was like, man, that is a beautiful left hook. Nasty body shots, but part of me was like, damn, DC, you've got to get away from that. You've got to get out of there. You've got to take this guy down.

It's hard when you really love a guy and you're watching him fight. It's hard. It's very, very difficult to do commentary. What's the pain on that on the liver punches what could that what's the damage that can do that shut you that makes you like i've seen people crumble on me to hit you with one no no please hit you with a liver punch but show me on louis you don't want it it it's a horrible feeling where it like like shocks your body let me say your body goes like it's or show how about the show dave where to hit me right here it. Your body goes like... Or show... How about this? Show Dave where to hit me.

It's right here. It's right here. It's like almost getting shocked like electrical. It's in the lower... If someone is standing in front of you and they hit you

with a left hook, most likely they'd be hitting you in the liver. And it's like right where these floating ribs are, tucked in there. And when you slam someone hard, like right around the lower...

You know who's one of the masters of it is Canelo Alvarez. Show Canelo Alvarez body shots. Like maybe there's a video we could look. He's got a beautiful one where he steps in and just fucking rips that left hook to the liver and your body just goes. It just fucking shuts down.

It's the weirdest feeling, man. It's like your legs stop working. Everything stops working. Your whole body just seizes up. It looks like it didn't happen to him until that last one. I think he was playing poker face. I think he was playing poker face. Canelo

is a fucking master at this shit. He would just dig this thing. Look at this. That one's only going to the side. That's going to the side, but most of the time he's going to the liver. Most of the time, well, he's going to anything that's open, right? But going to the side. That's going to the side, but most of the time he's going to the liver. Well, he's going to anything that's open, right? But that's the liver. He's going for the liver against Golovkin,

but Golovkin's got that low guard with his right arm. He's blocking it from happening. The guy who's coming up next. It's so much fun. It's a fun sport to do. Well, when these kind of guys are fighting, when Triple G and Canelo are fighting, fuck, if you're a fan of the sport, you've seen the highest level, two champions in their prime going after it.

It's amazing to watch. But that punch is – like getting hit there is a terrible feeling. And DC got hit there multiple times. And he was – from like the second round on, he was – you were talking about it when he was there. But he was just putting his hands down and kind of letting Stipe hit him. It hard that's a dangerous way to fight stipe miocic like i think he just wanted to put pressure on him and make stipe feel like he didn't deserve to be in there with him i think maybe in that approach he was uh trying to wear him out which keep the pressure on him and make him discouraged or maybe he had genuine disdain for his abilities maybe he really didn't think stipe could hurt him and he was just eventually going to catch him and then there was a

lot of people that thought because of the way he knocked stipe out maybe stipe isn't as durable as he used to be right because stipe used to take tremendous shots from everybody but then he got knocked out in one punch by dc after taking tremendous shots in the ingano fight so the question would be like how much damage is he take in that Ngannou fight? But then he came back and he ate everything that DC had to offer him. He just kept eating it. He kept taking it on the chin and eating it, and eventually he started taking over the fight.

And when he started ripping the body in the fourth round, it was like, whoa. It was perfect. I mean, I've never seen anybody have better body punches in a championship fight. Do you think that was like a corner call? Or do you think he just improvised and saw that that was opening? He knows how to fight. He saw an opening. Everybody knows.

I mean, that's such a standard technique. That's like a corner call if someone's throwing a leg kick. It's so standard. It was working so good. Yeah, it never got blocked once. DC didn't have an answer. He didn't have an answer to it. He didn't duck it.

He didn't block it. He didn't try to answer to it. He didn't duck it. He didn't block it. He didn't try to take him down. He just kind of got stuck. The problem with those liver shots, too, is they sap your energy so bad, and you can't make a big move anymore. So you have to kind of pretend like everything's okay, and then, bam, he hits you again. You're like, oh, shit, we're in trouble here.

But still, you're looking like nothing's wrong. But your gas tank is fucked. Everything's on empty and you're fucked. You really can't fire back. That's why DC didn't fire back. And he kept getting shot to that body. Bang! And every time, bang! He gets shot to that body. You see it in his... And then Stipe

got him against the cage, started uncorking punches and DC just didn't have anything. His body was shutting down. Didn't have anything in him to stop that onslaught. I mean, it's amazing. That guy's the, Stipe's the most successful heavyweight in the history of the sport.

And Daniel Cormier, whether he fights again or not, he's one of the greatest ever. Legend. But he also is, what is he, 42? He's 40. 40.

Yeah, I believe. 40. Is that true? He's 40, yeah. So, I mean, DC, that might be part of it too. Yoel's 42. I don't know. Could be. 42, yeah. Yoel's 42. I don't know.

Could be. 42, yeah. Yoel's 42. When you look at DC, what he's done, it's incredible. I mean, nobody else has ever done that. It's just, it's kind of, it's probably hard to convince him of that. The big fight is the Stipe fight, honestly, because beating guys for the vacated crown in light heavyweight is

not the same as beating Jon Jones. But beating Stipe is like beating the heavyweight version of Jon Jones. That's the biggest accomplishment ever. And I liked him at heavyweight because he wasn't getting drained. But I just don't think that was – I don't know, maybe he couldn't have fought him any other way, but I don't think that was the best strategy, the dropping of the hands and the moving toward him with disdain. But maybe that would have worked on some guys, and maybe that has worked on other guys, like Rumble Johnson.

It worked on him. He eventually puts that heat on you, and so many guys crack under that heat. As a friend, do you want to see him fight a third fight? That is entirely dependent upon where his head's at. First of all, I'm sure he's a very intelligent guy with a lot of years of competition under his belt whether it's olympics you know wrestling at the highest level whether it's ufc strike force before that he's fought for a long time nobody needs to tell him when to make decisions when not he's emotional right now i'm sure he's going to take some time off,

and he'll probably consult with his family and probably figure out what he wants to do. But I bet, if I had to guess, his competitive instincts are going to tell him that he could have at least one more fight and that it would be a rematch with Stipe because he was dominating the first round, and he let it get away from him,

and he wasn't listening to his corner. Crazy Bob Cook was yelling in his corner, keep damn hands up you know he didn't like it bob cook didn't like it he respected steve steve is a giant man he's a fucking big motherfucker big long tall croatian and he's tough as shit man and i think because daniel knocked him out in the first round in the first fight you know uh he he believed he could knock him out again. But Stipe could take a goddamn shot this time, you know? Yeah. You never know why a guy gets knocked out that way with one punch.

I mean, it was a perfect punch for sure. I mean, the way he threw it was beautiful. The way he threw it from inside the clinch, it comes over the top of the shoulder, blam, and lands that perfect punch that KO'd Stipe. I mean, it was amazing. Yeah. But. It was also such a competitive fight that I'm super intrigued to see a third fight. and she comes over the top of the shoulder, blam, and lands that perfect punch that KO'd Stipe. I mean, it was amazing. It was also such a competitive fight that I'm super intrigued to see a third fight. It's not a foregone conclusion that Stipe is going to be able to do that again.

Daniel can adjust. He can come out with a better game plan, and he can win that fight. And it's, in my opinion, the best fight at heavyweight competitively. I don't think Ngannou would be a good fight, but I think that Stipe wins that again. I'm not convinced. I mean, I think Ngannou would be a good fight, but I think that Stipe wins it again. I'm not convinced. I mean, I

think Ngannou might be the next guy. We'll see. I mean, I think he might be the champ for a while. Well, he's definitely got what it takes, because he's got one thing that 100% one-punch knockout power. 100%. Not a fucking human's

going to be there. If he full-on connects and smashes one through your guard, everyone goes night-night. 100% Not a fucking human's going to be there If he full on connects And smashes one through your guard Everyone goes night night 100% of the humans that have ever walked here Go night night If that guy punches you full blast But it's whether or not he's going to be able to do that to Stipe

We all thought he had a chance of doing it the first time But Stipe shut it down And you know maybe he's better now But maybe Stipe is going to come into this fight even more energized ever after beating dc and winning his title back i mean maybe he's gonna maybe he saw something from that fight that if he had to do it again he would have implemented really quickly you know stipe he did he did not want to take another fight he was whatever place he was in he was fucking in his firehouse lacing up his boots every day just thinking about getting

that title back. He does not want to lose that title again. And people were ignoring him, man. It was weird. Everybody was so concentrated on the Brock Lesnar idea that they were ignoring him. It's weird because when somebody said that the other day, whatever publication was talking about CBA being the greatest heavyweight of all time,

this is before the fight. I remember going like, is he? And then you start listing off his credentials and you realize that he has the most defenses he's also fought the most competitive um title defensive title defenses as well um then you it becomes a little more apparent but i kind of under i almost understand it because even as and i'm a pretty big fan of the sport but i remember just i wasn't like chomping at the bit for the rematch for him. It wasn't like I was like, oh, I really want to see that Stipe Daniel Cormier rematch.

And I can't even put my finger on why. Oh, I did. I wanted to see it bad. I wanted to see it real bad. Because I wanted to see, and I liked the fact that it was 13 months later. So I think it gave his body some time to heal up. I think you fight in Ghana, it's like getting hit by a train. I mean, you might live.

You might go flying into a fucking tree. And you come down a day later. What happened? It's just like when DJ Jazzy Jeff will get thrown out of the clubs. Yeah, but I think if he keeps it together, he's the next guy. I mean, he's the next guy in line to be the champion. I mean, he has everything to lose. He has the championship to lose. If Stipe retires,

when Stipe's done, Francis is the fucking man. And maybe Francis beats him in a rematch. Who knows? Again, all he has to do is connect. He would be a different guy in the rematch. He would understand what it's like to go five hard rounds with a guy who could take you down and beat you up. He would understand that his wrestling has to be on point, his cardio has to be on point,

and there's not going to be times where he can 100% unload and know for sure the guy's not going to be there because the guy survived and he didn't have the gas tank for the remaining four rounds. And so this is going to be a new guy that Stipe fights, and he might very well just play it smooth and just stay on the outside and pick his shots and then when he gets him hurt then uncork i mean we don't know but we don't know stipe might take him down quicker this time yeah maybe he might say fuck all this stand-up dude let's just wrestle you know he just like come out of a couple pump a few jabs and shoot a fucking double on him and take it down dude he took down dc stipe took down dc that's giant the only other guy who's ever done that

is john jones and stipe did it more emphatically you know i mean it was pretty goddamn impressive took down DC. Stipe took down DC. That's giant. The only other guy who's ever done that is Jon Jones. Stipe did it more emphatically. It was pretty goddamn impressive. That's the other one at heavyweight I want to see. Before Jon Jones retires, I want to see him fight at heavyweight. I want to see Jon Jones at 235 pounds,

steroids to the gills, picograms falling out of his asshole. Just a monster, dude. I would love to see if he could handle Stipe. Or if Cormier wanted that fight. If Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones wanted to fight again, I'd want to see that fight at heavyweight. Well, I guarantee you if Jon Jones fights at heavyweight,

he'll probably be at just what he walks around at. Because the word around Jackson's was that he would wrestle with heavyweights and just ragdoll them. That he would throw people around the gym. I mean, when I talked to Tate Fletcher when he was down there and other guys who trained with John

when John was down at Jackson's as a light heavyweight champion was just ragdolling heavyweights. He's a phenomenally powerful guy. And you really saw that in the Cormier fight. I think Cormier was shocked in that first fight of how fucking strong John is. I mean, he's a long, thin guy, but he is ridiculously strong.

And I think as a heavyweight, he'd be a fuckload to handle for a lot of guys. Yeah, I want to say, and I think he actually has the star power to, I think that puts the UFC on the map in a weird way. Because they haven't really had the major star as a heavyweight champion. Like that fucking dude who is like best in the world, pound for pound best. As a heavyweight champion. As a heavyweight champion. But if John could beat Stipe, that would be that.

Because he's definitely the best pound for pound fighter in the UFC right now. Definitely. You look at his accomplishments, it's arguably he's the best pound for pound fighter ever, because he's really never lost. That one Matt Hamill fight, they're trying to reverse that because it was a bad decision. It was a bad decision to disqualify him.

Do you think it was a bad decision? It was a bad decision to disqualify him. No contest? He destroyed him. Yeah, make it a no contest. So he's still undefeated. That's what it really should have been. My only problem with it is...

It really should be a victory. He crushed him. Oh, yeah, it was ridiculous. Matt Hamill doesn't feel like it's a win. So that's the thing. It's like the guy's never really lost. So if you look at his career, who the fuck can say that?

Who the fuck has fought like Lyoto Machida, Rashad Evans, Rampage Jackson, the top of the food chain over and over and over again? Through generations. Through generations. Like three or four different generations of the best guys. Gustafson, everybody. You can look at that. There's actually a number.

Like that one loss on his record, if you could really break it down, there was some sort of like statistician that could come in and really look at it there's a number an amount of money that he's lost yeah because he has that loss on his record whether whatever is in market marketability maybe who knows there's something it definitely there has to be something other I have to go you do wrap this bitch up up Alright gentlemen Thank you as always You cucked out again I was gonna come in

Bulk face They wouldn't let me So We stopped it outside I appreciate you guys I appreciate Skankfest I think it's awesome What you guys are doing

For comedy I really do You're just going for it And that's what We need more of We need more of people That are doing real comedy And you guys do it

I appreciate the fuck out of it And I support you at every turn. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Joe. You're the man. We really appreciate it. I love you, buddy. Bye, fuckers.

That was so much fun, brother.