The Joe Rogan Experience - #134 - Kevin Smith (Part 2)

Episode Date: September 1, 2011

Joe sits down with Kevin Smith.

My brother just has this expression where he just kind of gives me the slow nod, which is, he's gone. You know, my father was dead. And I went in and I saw him on a gurney and shit. And it was so strange. And I go outside and I was a smoker, like, cigarette smoker in those days. I go to have a cigarette. And Donald comes out. And I was like, oh, this is a shock and whatever.

You know, we were upset and stuff. And I said, how was it? Because he was there. I said, what happened? And Donald tells me the story of, like, dad woke up and had this, like, big reaction, just like, I'm hot, I'm hot. He was throwing the sheets off, and mom freaked out. She's like, what's the matter, what's the matter?

She told Donald, call the ambulance, call the hospital. And he was gone within seconds. So that's, you know, bad enough. You know, he was hot and uncomfortable. You don't want to hear like, oh, he died in his sleep. And we woke up and he just didn't. But then my brother says this thing probably defined my life. My brother goes, he died screaming.

And I go, what? And he goes, he died screaming. And I was like, I mean, is that a figure of speech? And he goes, no, he literally, he died screaming. And I was like, I mean, is that a figure of speech? And he goes, no, he literally, he died screaming. And you could see my brother was haunted by it. And my father wasn't like a, I wouldn't say he was a butch man or strong man, but he wasn't a soft man, money stretching the imagination. And I never heard him get real loud or anything like that.

And the notion of my father dying screaming changed my life because I was like, even a good man in this world, you a game you play it straight you play it by the rules you do everything you're supposed to you're gonna die screaming and at that point i was like there's no point in not trying to accomplish every stupid fucking dream i've got even if it's dumb shit like fucking you know oh my god i've always wanted to collect this many fucking wayne gretzky cards in one fucking binder or if it's like i want to make a movie or if it's like i want to put on a podcast or i want to do a tv show now i want to write a book chase it all down chasing whimsy is what i've been doing for the last few years just smoking weed and chasing

whimsies anytime i'm like back in the day i'd have a good idea something i really wanted to follow through on and honestly you get scared you start thinking about what some motherfuckers gonna say and be like oh it's stupid why would you fucking do that and fucking why why a lot of why people in this world I try to surround myself with the why nots motherfuckers who you're like I want to try this like why not let's go let's give it a shot you got to be game man people help you achieve your dreams and shit so for me the last few years I've just been trying to accomplish every dopey dream. The big shit, the little shit. You've got to do them all.

You can't just do the climb every mountain shit. Sometimes lay the bar down, step over it, and be like, ta-da, so you feel accomplished. But chase it all and do it all because we're all going to die screaming. And you might as well enjoy it here. And when I say chase it all, don't fucking do it at the expense of someone else. Obviously, you don't hurt somebody else but go after your dreams man if your dream is to like i want to kill 12 children that's i'm not saying i'm not talking to you but go after your dreams if they're not going to hurt anybody you seem now i wish i knew you before you became famous

because you seem like if i had a guess i bet you haven't changed at all yeah you just pretty much now how did you navigate that? That's a very... My friends, those dudes. Those dudes that I was kidding about, they don't want to do the show. And that is, they really don't want to. I'm not really like, Kevin, we don't want to do this. But Walter's just like, oh, man.

So you think they just grounded you so much? You never gave in to the tide of craziness out here? Those dudes, you know, you've got friends. I mean, I've never had butch friends who, like, fucking punch you and wrestle and shit. I don't think that's called butch. I mean, it is to a fae dude like me. That's butch, dudes. Those are bullies.

But, like, the hard boys, as my mom used to say when I was a kid. The hard boys. Leave those hard boys alone, Kevin. I didn't have the rough ass playing around, like, let's wrestle and shit like that. What I had was more psychological, more oral. And that sounds dirty, but I don't mean oral. More like the dozens. Motherfuckers keeping you tight. You grow up fat.

You gotta be fucking sharp. Stay on your toes or else you're a fucking victim every time you walk in a room because most of the world don't look like you. So you get sharp. You learn how to fucking take yourself out first before anybody else can. Steal their thunder. Hey, I'm fucking fat. And then people are like, oh, he know and then there you've removed their fucking card you're taking

their biggest weapon out of their quiver the biggest thing they got and then suddenly you've changed the focus and hey he's easy with himself blah blah blah and it makes people at least you know just all that shit you pick up over the years you it's it's what shapes you it's what makes you who you are so being able to hang out with people who were quick enough to like shred you but you had to be able to protect yourself and you know it's like hanging out with ninjas all the time who just or not ninjas

so much as Kato from the old Pink Panther movies where he just hired them to literally attack them out of nowhere that's what your friends do they just like attack you out of fucking nowhere and so by doing this all the time it made me sharp but it also kept me very very real so these cats even when the movies would take off where we do i was doing this one or this one they were never like oh my god the fucking we had no idea you were hidden genius they remain the same exact individuals they tell you i didn't like that one oh fuck yes really yes. Really? Yes. Oh, yes. In a heartbeat. In a heartbeat.

They'll let you know. And they'll let you, like, I brought them on to Mallrats to come work on the movie and stuff. And they made it. They were in it in a few scenes, but they worked beyond the scenes. They quit after about two weeks because they're just like, I don't want to do this. I have no interest in this. I mean, and that's cool.

Like, I respected that. I was like, that's Brian. That's Walter. Like, that's who they are. Rather than be like, all right, man, we're going to do it. Because it might upset Kev. If we don't, they're just like, oh, we don't want to do this, dude. True to thine own self kind of thing.

I'm sorry. What makes you think that without them, you wouldn't be you, though? What makes you think that without them, you wouldn't have pulled yourself to the ground? I wouldn't have had that sense of humor. I think my sense of humor largely came from them. Largely came from my friend brian johnson and and walter also kind of shaped it to some degree i was i was funny like don't get me wrong and in high in high school i write sketches for the comedy shows and shit like that but i i there it was their sensibility married to whatever sensibility

i had as one of three kids raised Catholic in Highlands, New Jersey, that clicked, that kind of made me the version of me you know. The person that you would want to meet or the person that was different was like Kev, 18 years old, 17, 18, before he started hanging out with Brian and Walter. Those were the cats that kind of helped me define who I was. And if you look at Clerks, that that movie is I'm kind of Dante, and my friend Brian Johnson is meant to be Randall, the guy that I most wanted to be.

Like he always knew what to say. He was fucking funny in a room and shit like that, really misanthropic and stuff. And so it kind of all communicated. Without those cats, I know I wouldn't have the jobs I've had because I wouldn't have the sense of humor I have now. And I don't think I'd be... Let's say I got into entertainment somehow, I doubt

I'd be as grounded. Knowing those dudes have kept me kind of grounded for years. That's pretty cool, man. It's good to have something like that in your life, man. I have a similar... Nobody else is smoking weed. Why aren't you smoking weed? I thought this was a weed show. We already got high. You want to get high again? Let's get higher. Okay. We can get high. You want to get high again? Let's get higher.

Why the fuck aren't we experiencing it higher? Kevin just gave me a heart attack and he didn't even realize it. What way? By talking about all that life thing. I almost died Friday night. When? I was out in... You just told me and I'm like, when? I was at a karaoke bar in Burbank

right across the street from uh the jay leno show like the nbc building dimples i've seen i've seen i drive past that i've seen that place i came out uh me and my girlfriend around 11 30 and we were walking out the front and we parked so i'm opening the door for her to get in out of nowhere this big tall black guy about six two wearing a fake gray beard like a s Santa Claus beard that was tied on with white strings and a hat and this big hobo jacket, shoves a gun to my chest and was like, give me your fucking wallet.

Oh man, you're harshing my buzz. Keep going. We're already having an agamonica. My girlfriend was pretty drunk. My girlfriend was pretty drunk because she has social anxiety, so she drinks you know when she goes out right right she thought it was a joke she looked over and thought this was like a character or something

right and so he's like give me your shit you're shaking telling her yeah you can tell it's still yeah fucking a that would fuck me up keep going and so he said uh he said um you know give me your fucking purse bitch and she's like's looking at him like, what? She was drunk and shocked. And I'm like, give him the purse. And so she gave him the purse. And then he goes, get in the car, lay on your fucking stomach. And he's shoving the gun in my back while I'm laying in the car.

And I'm thinking, all right, this is execution style. He's telling me to get in there. And then suddenly he goes, lay down to my girlfriend. And she laid down on her back because she was just so freaked out right he said i said lay on your fucking stomach bitch and he's like just shoving a gun in her back and then finally we're just like both laying there and then he slams the door and then just takes off and so now like the other day i was at the grocery store and i saw a black guy that was tall and i'm now i'm like freaking out like if it was a redhead that robbed me it would have been the same way but but now I see these guys and I'm like becoming like a racist

from the 50s now where I'm like walking around like what's he doing on my side of the store you know like it's crazy it's like at this point you're you had your you were in that moment yeah what did you what was it like it was really when I was laying there it was like this is it and but you think that what did you think what did did you think? I didn't think about anything except my girlfriend the whole time. Hearing him yell at her, you think that you're just going to look around and look for a weapon or something like that,

but when you're in that big of a shock, you're just defenseless. I'm so not the butch dude that's, and again, there's that word, I'm so not the dude that's like, where's a weapon? I'm going to do this. My reaction is going to be like, let me suck your dick. Let us go. I will suck your dick until you let us go.

And he's like, you've got a girlfriend. I'm like, still, I'll be better than her. I can really deliver. That's where I go with it. I would never go defensive or offensive. All these people online, of course, is like, that's what you give for not doing jujitsu. If I had two guns in my pocket, I still would have done the same thing. You still would have been fucked.

Even if you had yourself strapped with dynamite, maybe. Then you could be like, look at this, bitch. People, those you should of people should shut the fuck up. No one knows what that's like until that happens to you. And you should always give someone what they want. Usually they just want to fucking get your money and run away. They don't want to shoot you. Is that the case?

Usually. You hear it once in a while though, like old lady did nothing, still gets shot or something like that. If it's a young kid on fucking PCP, it's really a gamble. This is in Burbank. What time were you leaving this place?

About midnight. And three months before that or six months before that, I was in Fuddruckers in Burbank and some guy's stealing this girl's purse and running out the door and I'm chasing him i'm like i'm in burbank right now why you know and we talked about uh the kmart shooting in one podcast the the the there was a shooting at kmart in burbank and the officer that got shot was the one that came to rescue me when uh the other night and i was like you're the one officer and he he's like, yeah, I got shot in the leg and stuff like that. So he became like a celebrity guy because he got shot in the leg?

Well, he's been shot at in Burbank and Kmart's in Burbank. So you saw him on TV? Like they showed his picture? Oh, yeah, yeah. But it seems like you always hear Burbank is so safe and stuff like that. Yeah, you don't think of Burbank as like, Bob Hope lived there. How could it be? There could be no terror.

Well, Tulip Lake. I wonder how many chicks want to bone that guy because he's the celebrity cop that got shot. Well, I had to wait. I bet a bunch, right? Gotta be, right? Fuck yeah. There are chicks that want to fuck fat dudes. Guys out there on duty.

There gotta be chicks that want to fuck fucking a hero cop. Hero cop that got shot in the leg. I bet that guy is beaten off the pussy. I was waiting for forensics. i had to wait like four hours because i mean this is like they closed off helicopters and everything that was like cops and stuff and then they wanted to uh fingerprint my car so i'm just sitting there and he's like going asking my girlfriend like questions like weird questions like so what do you do oh you're a dancer huh yeah well you were like and stuff like it was weird no he was totally an awesome nice

cop but it was kind of weird like hearing like my girlfriend having the talk like uh yeah i'm an exotic dancer no but just asking weird questions and like what and then and was he going as close to hitting on her as he could and still remaining a cop was he doing like why are you with this guy yeah you should be protected with somebody else i don't know you see me and then you see my girlfriend maybe he thought i would like paid for her like if she was a hooker or something You should be protected with somebody else. I don't know. You see me and then you see my girlfriend. Maybe he thought I paid for her, like if she was a hooker or something. How long do you know this guy? She's out of your league.

Right, exactly. Brian fucks way over his head. But what's weird is, I don't even know what's weird. But what's weird is he was talking to me and asking me all these questions. And I was like, yeah, I would like to be a cop, but I like marijuana too much. And he goes, yeah, I see that. Marijuana. And he's like, it's going to be legal soon, so don't worry about that. Cops are that?

I was like, all right, this cop is crazy. Yeah, I don't know if he's got a fucking crystal ball. Come on, man. Come on, man. That was the only silver lining to that horrible story. Was like, at the end of it, the cop was like, don't worry, kid. One day, weed's going to be legal. And now I'm scared of black wizards.

Wizards? Wizards with the beard? Yeah, like I'm going to be at Halloween. There's going to be one black wizard that's going to attack me like a scream mask. That's going to be an internet meme, my friend. Black wizards chasing me. That created a monster.

You're scared of monsters, you know, like werewolves and stuff. That's what I'm smoking, my strain. I'm not scared of werewolves, bro. I love werewolf movies. I just have my own monster now, though. I'm scared of jaguars and panthers. Did you see the video I tweeted the other day of a jaguar killing a fucking crocodile?

Somebody tweeted it to me and I retweeted it. It's a jaguar killing a fucking crocodile. How scary are jaguars? They look at a crocodile and they're like, hmm. Fourth reference you've made to a jaguar. They do scare you. He likes listening to Led Zeppelin and watching jaguars. Are they around?

Yeah, well, not here, fortunately. But there are pumas in this neighborhood. Really? Oh, yeah, for real. Yeah, whenever you see deer, there's deer in this neighborhood and there's pumas. All right, so there's two neighborhoods to stay out of. This one and Burbank. It's not uncommon.

People have spotted them in this community several times. Really? Yeah. Like mountain cats and shit? Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a known population of them that live, like, around Topanga Canyon in this community several times. Really? Yeah, yeah. Like mountain cats and shit? Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a known population of them that live, like, around Topanga Canyon in this area, and they travel really far.

Like, one of them, they tracked from South Dakota all the way to Connecticut. Apuma? It got hit by a car in Connecticut, and they had decided... Yeah, I saw this article. Yeah, so they did the DNA test on this fucker, and they found out that it's from South Dakota.

So this is from a group of genetics from South Dakota. This thing had walked 1,800 miles. He was looking for sugar to put in his tea. A lump? Oh, three or four. Or a dog or two. Eating some nice plump dogs along the way. Yeah.

That's what they do. Downing mutts on the way. Little dogs like mine. I had a dog. All right, man. Let's change up the topic. You're scaring me. Now I don't want to go out to my car in this neighborhood,

and I don't want to get out of my car in other neighborhoods. You should just watch the video of the jaguar killing a crocodile because it is fucking amazing. Because you look at a crocodile, and you look at that as a goddamn dinosaur. Yeah, it's a dinosaur. It's armor-plated, evil lizard. Who would fuck with that? And the jaguar, just playful with this fucking, like knows it's going to kill it.

Just playing with it. Swats at it, paws at it. Just looks for the right moment. Gets sideways on it and then butts it right behind the fucking head. It's crazy. It's like, if they're not scared of crocodiles. What hope do we have? Our fleshy bags of pink These big black

Muscular evil looking cats In a world where you've been following up on Wildlife attack stories You've been seeing all the bear stories lately Two bears in Yellowstone this year The animal bears? Two guys have been killed by bears in Yellowstone this year It's rare

You read that story online about the kid who got bit by a polar bear That was fucking astounding The dude literally tells a story this year. It's rare. You read that story online about the kid who got bit by the polar bear. Yeah. That was fucking astounding. The dude literally tells a story where him and his troop are on, you know, they're out in the fucking woods or something like that. And there's a kid sleeping next to him in a tent.

And this polar bear comes fucking through the tent. The kid woke up to like wailing and gnashing of teeth and the fucking thing growling and blood all over its face. And the thing bit him on the head, had his head in its mouth. A polar bear had this kid's head in his mouth. And he said it bit so hard they cracked his fucking skull. And he heard it crack in his head and what he also heard in his head louder in life sense around style from the 70s

was growling because its fucking mouth was over his ear dude oh my god and he starts punching this fucking beast in the head punching it in the head real hard and shit and finally it lets go enough for him to like make a move or something like that so he's he survived the buddy his buddy was right next to him died. And they interviewed the kid, and he's talking about it. He's like, I got a lot of guilt, man. It could have been me. If I had slept on that side, I'd be dead.

But I'm like, dude, you got your head bit by a polar bear. I'm not going to say it's worse, but that's pretty damn bad. So he got away, and it just went after his friend next? No, his friend was done for. By the time the kid woke up, the polar bear had taken what it wanted, I think, from his friend. It mauled him instantly. It said his face, I believe.

Oh, my God. Yeah, man. Nature, what do you think it is? Do you think it's like they're hungry and the weather condition changes and they're just coming into the neighborhoods now? Because you don't hear a lot about this back in the day. But a lot of it happening now,

a lot more shark attacks, a lot more bear attacks. Is that really true statistically? Well, I'm asking. You would know more. Maybe it's just I'm reading more about it. Well, we have more access to information. I do know that they said with this Yellowstone attack that the last time there had been a death from bears and Yellowstones

it was in the 80s. So that's a long time, man. Shit. That's a long ass time. It's for nothing to get killed, and then all of a sudden two people get killed quickly. But those two people could have been sprinkled any time along the way. You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. You zig when you should have zagged.

It didn't rain enough, so there's not enough food, and then all of a sudden bears start eating other things. Bears are omnivores. That's the crazy thing about them. They can eat whatever the fuck they want. So it's like us. But the terrible thing about bears is because they're not strict carnivores, they don't kill their prey before they eat it.

They just start eating. I'm going to stand for a bit, and I just don't want the camera looking at my dick the whole time. That was the only reason. We could all stand. No, I just wanted to stretch. No, no, I'm all good. How long are you going to stand for?

Only until it gets awkward. And then I'll kick back down. Do your balls ever fall asleep from sitting too much? Lately, I think I've been sitting a certain way where it squeezes the blood pressure off of one of my balls. And then it feels like my whole crotch is numb. That's the inevitable progression to you growing a vagina. What's going to happen is your balls are going to melt together and then pop open. You remember that scene in John Carpenter's The Thing where the chest cavity opens up

and becomes a big mouth? That's going to be your new pussy. That's your new pussy. No, my balls don't fall asleep usually. Never? Have you never had that happen? It's such a weird feeling. No, but my... Is it good? Should I try it? No, it balls don't fall asleep usually. Never? Have you never had that happen? It's such a weird feeling. No, but my...

Is it good? Should I try it? No, it's horrible. I do the Ari Shaffir sometimes, though. When I'm reading, you know, he has that joke about taking a shit and his legs go numb. Yeah. And you get off and fall down to the ground. Yeah. I read magazines all the time in the toilet, and you do.

If you read magazines, essentially you're choking out your leg. Yeah. That's why jiu-jitsu works. Jiu-jitsu works because you cut off the blood. And what you're doing when your feet go numb is you're putting all this pressure on yourself. And wait, you're essentially choking out your legs. And making hemorrhoids. That's what it is?

Yeah, yeah. When you choke someone out in a jiu-jitsu choke, what you're doing is you're stopping the blood to their brain. You're cutting it off. You're stopping it from happening. You're squeezing it. And that's what you're doing when you're sitting here on the toilet. If you have this hard surface beneath your leg and then you're on top of your leg, you're basically giving your feet a slow choke.

Oh my God, dude. All right. I do this all the time. I do too. I sit on the toilet for so long that when I get up, I got pins and needles and I can't walk and I have to lean on the wall.

And then like sometimes I'll try to man up and get through it. But by the time I hit the bedroom, like you start laughing because it's so you're out of control of it. Because the nerves are all dead. And my wife's just like, when are you going to learn? You go in, you shit, you get out. Why are you staying in there until your fucking leg falls asleep? And I was like, because I'm getting shit done.

But I guess that's unhealthy. I read car magazines. Is that what you do? I go on the internet, tweet. It that's unhealthy. I read car magazines. Is that what you do? I go on the internet. Tweet. It's the only time I read car magazines. I won't let myself go on the internet in the toilet. That's where it gets ridiculous.

I'm like, I'm down to the occasional magazine. At least let me finish a Matt Taibbi Rolling Stone article in here on the crapper. Do you wipe sitting up or sitting down? What the fuck? You mean stand? Yeah, standing up. Who are you? I've never done that.

You never stand and wiped up? Only when I was a kid. And this is weird. Wow. All right, you're getting something out of me I haven't said publicly maybe ever. When I was a kid, I remember I'd take a shit. And I'm trying to remember what age this stopped. But I'd be like, I'm done.

And somebody would get up, stand up, and they'd wipe your ass for you. And I think I did that until I was like seven, which is weird. It is weird. Yeah, but it was pretty good. Like in terms of like I didn't really have to figure out how to fucking wipe my own shit until that point. And then you had to train yourself to do it from sitting down. But I think it's an ever-perfecting art form, like the art of the wipe. It's not, you know, there's no one true measure,

and I think it develops as you get older, you learn better technique and stuff. But no, not since then. I've never, I'm more of a front wiper, though. Yeah. Like, I'll reach, because I got a lot of back fat, rather than reach around, I'll reach through my, lean forward and reach through my legs,

so I'm wiping almost like my man puss. But I clear the balls so it doesn't hit my balls or anything like that. Fascinating. The wet wipes have really helped my life ever since. Did they just come out of nowhere? Couldn't they have those in the 70s or something? Will Smith was the first one that called them to my attention. I mean, they had baby wipes, but these flushables they didn't have.

Will Smith, asshole cleaning aficionado. Yeah, big time, man. He talked about it in an interview. Really? Yeah, he did. He literally talked about it in an interview. He was just like, Barry Sonnenfeld on Men in Black turned me on to wet wipes or handy wipes for going. He's like, why would you use toilet paper when you can use this?

And he's like, I haven't gotten back since. And so one day I went out and got a pack. I was like, this is fucking amazing. It's like taking a shit shower. Do you flush them? Yeah, but these are flushable, so you can't. Yeah, they say they're flushable. Let me tell you what happens.

I've used them, though, for four years and never had any problems. But I had a problem. You were probably about to. I had a septic problem with non-flushables. Yeah, I had a tree growing inside my pipe. Get the fuck out of here. Oh, dude, it was the most ridiculous thing. I tweeted it.

It's almost impossible to find now. Someone on the fuck out of here. Oh, dude, it was the most ridiculous thing. I tweeted it. It's almost impossible to find now. Someone on the internet will find it. But it's a, literally, there was a branch growing. It was huge. This crazy root system and everything that was growing in my toilet. I kept having this clogged up toilet. Didn't matter if I poured Drano on it. Nothing would work.

So I had these guys come over. I figured they were just going to snake the toilet. Well, they cut out a fucking tree. Because nature is such a motherfucker that a tiny crack had grown in one of the pipes. And a root from one of the nearby trees had forced its way into this and found out that there's all this water in this area. So it spread apart the pipe by growing and then grew up the pipe. It was incredible. It was just invasion by this plant species living off my poop.

And it was all clogged up with those little fucking flushable wipes. Those flushable wipes don't go anywhere, dude. You know how the flushable wipe comes in like that little treasure chest? Yeah. You can just get refills and throw it in there? Yeah. Don't do that for that long because if you look at the taint or the button of the thing, sometimes if you get a second wipe,

you might have a little poo on your hand and that builds up. If you smell that, it smells like an asshole. I never use the button thing. I just open it and draw them out. For that very reason, I don't want to touch poo button ever. What's up with that?

That's a silly move. Did they give you a rubber glove to use that thing with? That's what they silly move. Did they give you a rubber glove to use that thing with? That's what they should fuck. Yeah, they should give you a rubber glove. I'm into the sincere wipe, to the deep, sincere. I'll go knuckle deep to wipe clean. Why not? You're cleaning yourself out.

Exactly. You never know if somebody's going to be like, tonight's the night I'm going to eat your ass. People are so funny about assholes. Who are these people? Uncomfortable about it. Don't like you talking about your own. Just certain things you can talk about.

You can talk all day about, oh, I have psoriasis on my elbow. It's really annoying. It's itchy and scratchy. Look at my eczema. Yeah, you can talk about that. But you start talking about, man, you guys ever just massaging your asshole? Do you massage your asshole? People are like, what the fuck are you talking about?

You know, you could say, dude, when I get home, I massage my neck on the way home. You know, sometimes it gets so stiff. I just give it a solid massage on my own. I feel so much better. Yeah, yeah, me too. I know what you mean. I like to massage my asshole.

It feels really good. You do? No, I don't. But if someone said that, you know. But do you? No, no. That'd be awesome. But it's something about you talking

about your asshole and pleasure that makes me terrified does it really yeah something i'll tell you a pain story grossed out at least because of sitting on the turlet as you said for all that time um i got an anal fissure oh jesus you ever had one of those no you never want one of these this i've never okay i've never been punched in the face or choked out or anything fucking cool, but this was the most pain I think I've ever felt in my entire life. Really? It's that ring, that sphincter, it's the fulcrum of your entire body you start to discover. Anything you do reverberates in your asshole.

I know, it sounds deep. It's not. Move your finger, you can feel it. Move an arm, You can feel it. And you only really realize it when there's something wrong down there. And an anal fissure is when there's a tear right on the fucking lip of your asshole or somewhere on the ring. Or this one extended a little deeper. And I didn't know what it was.

It was painful, man. Like so painful that like I asked my wife. Like my wife's never fucking seen me completely naked, let alone my asshole. I literally was like, I'm going to ask you to do that fucking thing. I never imagined I'd ask another human being to do. And she's like, what? And I was like, I'm going to lay on the bed. I'm a fucking crane open my two fucking cheeks. I'm going to need you to look in there and tell me if something looks funky. Oh, no. I've never even seen my own asshole, but I know for a fact I'm a dude.

I've got hair down there, too. So I'm telling her, I'm like, now, you might have to deal with a little shrubbery down there. There's no manscaping. So if that's the case, you might have to move hair. And she's like, oh, my God, please don't make me do this. I was like, there's no one but you. I was like, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have you do this. I was like, there's no one but you. I was like, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have you do it. I was in pain, dude.

I was crying. It hurt so much. So I lay down and she's looking at me and she's like, I don't know. There's just so many roles. You know, she couldn't get to it. I was like, come on. Do you see any blood? She's like, I think I see some blood.

I think I see like an inflamed area. And I went to a doctor and the doctor was like, get up on the table and whatnot. And I never went to a proctologist and I'm laying on the table and he opens my cheek and he does him and he puts a flashlight on the outside of my fucking ring piece. He done. I'm waiting for like the fletch move or moving river. He takes a look with just the flashlight. He goes, oh, anal fissure.

I go, really? Is that what it is? He goes, yeah. I was like, you're going to, you don't want to go deeper. He goes, oh, anal fissure. I go, really? Is that what it is? He goes, yeah. I was like, you don't want to go deeper? He's going, I don't need to. He's going, you don't want me to either. And I said, what do you do about them? He's going, I'm going to give you two creams.

One's topical, one a little more insertion. He's going, basically, what was the figure he said? God, I can't remember. He said, in eight to 10 weeks, you'll start feeling 50% better. And I looked at him like, what? Are you kidding me? And it may not have been eight to 10, may have been four or five. But it was a long period of time, only 50% better.

And I was like, dude, I don't like these odds. He's like, that's as best I could do. He's like, that's either that or you can go for surgery. But trust me, you don't want that. He's like, I said, what surgery? He's like, well, basically, we get in there with a needle and sew you up. I'm like, forget it. that he can go for surgery. But trust me, you don't want that. He's like, I said, what surgery? He's like, well, basically, we get in there with a needle and sew you up. I'm like, forget it. I'll wait for a deal.

And it was fucking misery. They get in with a needle and sew you up. And then how long does it take for a thing? And then it takes a while to fucking heal. So their whole thing is like, just keep rubbing this top on it. Nature will heal itself. Try not to fucking rough around with them. Like, I don't want to even go near it.

Rough around with your butthole. Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to even go near it. Rough around with your butthole? Yeah, I'm like, why not? Did Doc use those terms? I said, Doc, I like to... Try not to rough around with it, son. I said, like Joe Rogan, I like to massage my asshole. What will this mean for that? But he said, he was like, it's very common.

He goes, if you're in a room, 45% of the people in the room are dealing with anal fissure. He's gone. Nobody talks about it. I said, why? He's gone, because it has everything to do with your asshole. He's gone. People, he was saying the exact same thing. He's like, people don't talk about this kind of thing publicly.

It would be much easier because you wouldn't have people waiting as long as they do to come in. He's going, it's common practice. He says, you know how yours happened? And I was like, I don't know. I thought it was going to be like a lot of fucking bathroom activity, man. A lot of fucking glory holes and shit. I said, no, no, I don't know. I thought it was going to be like a lot of fucking bathroom activity, man, a lot of fucking glory holes and shit. I said, no, no, I don't know how it happened. And he said, you sit on the toilet a lot, I bet.

I said, I do, as a matter of fact. He's going, well, you're weight sitting on that toilet. And he's going, I bet you don't just go and leave. You sit there for a while. I said, yeah. He's going, it's just, think about it. Gravity is just pulling at that, you know, as you sit there. It's not like you're sitting on the toilet

and your butt cheeks are clenched and your asshole is fucking tight or retracted. Is that how you do it? Nothing's getting in here. Excellent posture. Your shit comes out through your balls. My shit comes out when I tell it to. Look out for it. Do you never want that? Oh my god, that sounds horrible.

So six weeks, only 50%? Six weeks, 50%. Oh, look out for it, dude. You never want that. Oh, my God. That sounds horrible. I remember smoking weed. So six weeks, only 50%. Six weeks, 50%. When did it take until it was 100%? Oh, honestly, it felt like months. I think it was months. And for months, all I could do literally was lay on the bed, belly down. Oddly enough, when I took a shit, it felt better.

But it only felt better for the moment I was taking the shit. Because then I guess what, I don't know. I don't know. I can't even tell you the science of it. But when I took a shit, I felt better. As soon as I was done taking a shit, that's when the agony kicked in of like reminding you it was there. And you would literally just flinch and squirm on the bed like fucking withdrawn or something like that. It was nasty.

Yeah, the last thing you want is asshole problems. Get off those toilets those toilets yeah it's the fulcrum of your body i had the internal hemorrhoid for that reason and they had to do the rubber band technique where they tie a rubber band around inside your asshole and they tie it super tight so it gets no blood supply and it falls off well i'm like is this going to hurt and he goes no it's more of an annoying pain and i'm like all right i go home and it was like somebody shoving their like fingernail into your asshole from the inside and just sitting there and twisting it and turning it like a fucking how did you shit passage and shit get caught up on the rubber band no i don't know so how big is this thing you could wrap a rubber band around it it was pretty big and then you ever had a hemorrhoid or a grape or whatever? Yeah, I've had a hemorrhoid before.

They said that I was supposed to go back maybe two or three times. This is a whole process. The first time is probably not going to do it. I wouldn't go back to the second one. So now I live with the little guy. And he's just this little teeny guy now. But once in a while, if I eat the wrong thing, it blows up. And he's like, you old bitch.

Not Jew clam style. You still have it in there tied up? No, no, no. The rubber band is dissolved. But the internal hemorrhoid still exists? He's got a clit in the sphincter. So it just returns whenever it wants to? Whenever I get crazy and eat a bunch of hot peppers or something.

Is that what it is? It's for eating? It's hot peppers. It's a lot of fucking caffeine. Really? I had heard that it's from forcing your shit out. I was going to say mine is from pushing. I've got a resident just like yours that's mostly quiet lodger but periodically hey i'm down here and it's always from fucking i've like on the toilet and i'm fucking pushing maybe i'm not ready to go but i'm like if i don't go now i'm not going to

be able to go for a couple hours so once in a while he shoots somebody and there's blood everywhere. It's like a crime scene. Oh, yes. Oh. Yes. My buddy. Yeah, bloody nose, no big deal. Bloody asshole. Oh.

Jesus. For reals. I want to go to the fights, dude. I remember last time you were coming to the fights. We've got to do it and roll a camera on me, though. Okay. So you could watch me vomit on cue. For sure.

Well, there's going to be a big card on Fox coming up real soon. I think it's November. I don't want to say. I think it's the 14th. I have to look at the schedule. But it's going to be on Fox, and I think they're announcing tomorrow who the fighters are, but that'll be in Anaheim. Oh, that's fucking close.

So that should be fun. And you do all of them? Are you always the guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I didn't do this. So you got the hookup? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't have to buy tickets for this shit? No, we'll hook you up, man. Come on, dog. We'll make you spend your money. Kevin fucking Smith. You're Kevin Smith. I'm happy to spend. Dana White would be happy to meet you.

I want to make sure. Dudes are getting punched in that ring. I want to make sure they get paid. I'm happy. Oh, they get paid a motherfucker now. But they must get paid a little bit of our gate, right? That's how they make it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's different.

I mean, they get different deals, but, you know, the gates, it's almost always sold out. Almost all the domestic UFCs sell out. We've had a few problems in other countries where they weren't, like, hip on the UFC. You know, Germany wasn't, like, the biggest success

when we were over there. We don't like this. Stop hitting each other. It wasn't like Australia. Australia sells out in an hour. Whenever we put on a show in Australia, people go fucking nuts. Germany was a little more difficult. What about Canada? They blocked us from television or something in Germany, too.

There was something crazy where you could only get it on pay-per-view. They couldn't have it on live television in Germany. What about Canada? Canada is great. Canada, I always find, is very similar to Australia or vice versa. Canada is awesome. I fucking love Canada. I would live there if it wasn't so confusing.

If I didn't have to pay taxes to two different countries. GST and PST? I think Vancouver is one of the greatest cities in the world. It's government and the province. It's essentially federal and state taxes. Yeah, but then you also have to pay for American, too, unless you want to live in another country. Unless you want to give up your citizenship, you have to pay American taxes as well. Yeah, you have to.

Oh, if you're talking about doing dual citizen. Yeah, I'm not saying I hate America. I would live in Vancouver. Vancouver is the shit. It's one of the greatest fucking cities ever. I'd go for Toronto. Hockey Hall of Fame. I love Toronto, but it gets cold as a motherfucker.

I don't mind weather. I grew up on the East Coast. I grew up in Boston. I'm scared. Yeah, so you know weather. I'm scared. You don't want to go back to it. Edmonton.

I would live in Edmonton, too. But my lady would never let me live in Canada, man. You guys don't like Vancouver? I like Vancouver. My issue is that. I went to school there. I shot a TV show there and a movie there. I do, but it's not... I'm not

into whale art. There's a lot of that up there, man. That and trees. Fuck trees. As a comic, I travel too much, man. With stand-up and with the UFC, I travel too much to risk being snowed in. So if I live somewhere like Toronto, I would always risk being stuck.

You know, Boston, you risk being stuck. It's not a sensible place to live if you're a traveler. Unless, of course, you know, you can figure out how to get out of town before the snow hits. Call Scatman Crothers, man. He shows up in the snowcat and shit. That snowcat up that mountain. Totally, man. Just look out for the dude behind the fucking...

With the axe. I do think that I like people better. Didn't see that coming, did you? Didn't see that. That Jack Nicholson motherfucker. Shining. He couldn't shine that at all. That was a great goddamn movie.

Oh, it was brilliant. And Stephen King doesn't like it. You know that? Yeah. So much so that he made sure they made another one. Make a worse one. Make a terrible one. This other one was too good.

Make a bad one. Yeah, the TV movie one is tough. I never saw the TV worse one. Make a terrible one. This other one was too good. Make a bad one. Yeah, the TV movie one is tough. I never saw the TV movie one. Or if I did, I don't remember it. Steven Weber from Wings replaces Jack Nicholson right then and there. I mean, my hat goes off to Steven Weber because that's balls of steel, dude. You know what I'm saying? To be like, all right, I'll give it a shot.

But to be fair, it's'll give it a shot right the dude or but to be fair is what heath ledger did years later sure he stepped into a role of that jack nicholson made iconic and stuff that all being said hats off to steven weber that movie's a tough sit yeah it ain't the shining apparently was on so many pills he didn't even know what fucking you know what position he was taking when heath ledger died, he was on so many different pills. Is that what they said? Yeah. Who knows?

Yeah. His state of mind. I mean, when you hear all the different shit that he was on when he died, that guy, I mean, there's a lot of those don't give a fuck guys that can put in like spectacular performances like that. Like that Heath Ledger Joker was a fucking pretty spectacular performance. When a dude has something like that inside of him, that's an amazing abundance of energy,

and you're not exactly sure how he's controlling that. Not everybody can have that kind of a burst of energy inside of them and put it under control. Some people literally aren't capable of that kind of a performance. You think he was? I think he's probably had a little bit of crazy in him, man. No, come on.

A little bit of crazy, and then he gets on pills. Some cats just make pretend real well. Yeah, for sure. No doubt about it. But with all the pill thing and that. I don't want to believe that he was like fucking like I was. I got into the headspace of the Joker. No, no, no.

I don't even think that. I don't know. That asshole shit. You think he had pain in his life? No, I just think he's just good. But I'm just thinking that being really brilliant at something like acting and being completely fucking insane or like next door neighbors man yeah yeah yeah it's a thin line i'll agree with that totally the ability to lock on to a character

so completely and captivating yes i'm sorry create it real make it so real that you're sitting there like look i love that joker. It's spellbinding. But I say dial, like, one movie back and look at him in the gay cowboy picture. The performance he gives in that movie, that dude exists. Like, the Joker performance is big. And it needs to be big. And, like, pray you never meet someone like that in your life. But you would meet the character.

I think it was Ennis or Ennis he played? The character he played in Brokeback Mountain. That performance was so fucking frighteningly real. That was the first time I was like, this motherfucker's an actor. I thought he was that dude from 10 Things I Hate About You. But he had chops because he made only one other actor, well two others.

Parks, Michael Parks did that for me in From Dusk Till Dawn. That's why Red State exists because I watched the opening 10 minutes of From Dusk Till Dawn back in 95. I was like, this motherfucker's Yoda. I want to spend a month on set with a dude who can drop performance science this fucking brilliant, this laser sharp, this otherworldly. But then the other one, God, who was it? I just had it on my head. What was the other one?

I said Parks. Oh, Billy Bob Thornton In A Simple Plan Did you ever see A Simple Plan That fucking movie What's the name The guy that did

Spider-Man What movie was this It was a movie With Bill Paxton A Simple Plan Bill Paxton Bill Bill

What did I say His name was You know Billy What's his face Billy Ray Cyrus. I was going in that direction. The guy who fucked Angelina Jolie.

Yeah, Joe. Billy Bob. Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob Thornton, Jesus Christ. Billy Bob Thornton and who else? Oh, Bridget Fonda's in it. This fucking movie is so good. It's so well done.

It's about dudes who find money in the woods. Drug money. And then they're trying to, like. It's so well done. It's about dudes who find money in the woods. Drug money. And then they're trying to, like, it's a simple plan. We're going to hold it and whack it up together. We're going to wait some time. And then it just gets more and more complicated and fucking horrible things start happening and shit. Excellent movie.

Well done. But Billy Bob Thornton gives a performance in this movie where he ceases to be Billy Bob Thornton. And you're just like, that character exists. The man who is in this movie ain't, there's no to be Billy Bob Thornton, and you're just like, that character exists. The man who is in this movie, there's no connection to Billy Bob Thornton. Right. Like, it's literally a dude being possessed of someone else or something like that. He changes his look, changes his liver, everything.

Perfect example. I think that to be that good, there has to be a part of you that's a little bit fucking crazy, and we know Billy Bob Thornton is a little bit fucking crazy. What about Meryl Streep, though? Meryl Streep. Do you think she's a little bit crazy?. And we know Billy Bob Thornton is a little bit fucking crazy. No doubt about it. Meryl Streep, do you think she's a little bit crazy? Maybe she just keeps it together better than him. Maybe she just has better composure. Maybe she just got better composure. More self-aware.

But that demon inside her beats just as freely as it does in Billy Bob. She just knows how to control it in her social life. But she can blast it out when she's pretending to be some other person. She can just let that fucking demon free. You know? Is that what acting is?

Billy Bob Thornton is crazy as fuck, yes. I think to a certain extent. Yes and no. I think it's completely containable. I've seen Daniel Day-Lewis get interviewed, and I think he's a brilliant guy who's clearly doing it as an artist. He's clearly got a good handle on the whole celebrity thing. The guy quit movies to be a fucking shoe cobbler. He's this crazy, deep, interesting weirdo dude.

That is one of those stories that everybody knows that Daniel Day-Lewis cobbler thing. It captured everybody's imagination. Whether he was serious about it or not, it may have been his most brilliant fucking move because for the next ten years, whenever somebody says Daniel Day-Lewis, somewhere in the next minute they're going to go,

you know, he quit to be a cobbler? He studied shoemaking? It captured people's imagination. Why would a guy this good at the job go off, quit, and make shoes? He came back sooner or later. But that shoe thing captures people's imagination. You think he probably went to it because it wasn't acting.

It was the furthest thing from acting because you're right. You look at a dude who gets into a role like he does, he probably does go to someplace fucking dark. And you accrue a bunch of years of doing that, one after another. Maybe going to fucking make shoes in Milan feels good, sounds good, simple, doesn't require much, use a different part of your brain. No darkness and fucking cobbling. You know, unless one of those fucking witches show up.

Some of his movies where he does go dark are the darkest characters in the history of cinema. The fucking Gangs of New York. Jesus Christ. Bill the Butcher, that's what his name was, right? Jesus Christ, was that a fucking scary performance. Isn't the accent great, too? Yeah, and he seems like

he really would cut your fucking head off with a machete. It's real. You're feeling it. All the way. One of the only conversations I ever had with Martin Scorsese was after screening that movie. I was coming out of the theater and I hear somebody go, Kevin, and it sounds like Martin Scorsese. I was like, no way. Martin Scorsese

would be fucking saying Kevin. I turned around and Martin Scorsese was saying Kevin. He was talking to me. I was like, whoa. Holy shit, man. How are you? Did you ball tingle? Very much. You know what I'm saying? The way he called me wasn't quite pure, but he had

no reason to know my name. He's like, what did you think? I said, I fucking loved it, man. I had stayed through all the credits. I said, oh my god, I loved it. You've got to tell me, how did he arrive at I said, I fucking loved it, man. And I had stayed through all the credits and shit. I said, oh, my God, I loved it. You've got to tell me, how did he arrive at that accent? And he goes, we found cylinders, old cylinders recorded around, what was it, 18-whatever, turn of the century, 19-whatever that period the flick was set. He said, we found cylinders, which we just sat there and played. And Daniel took the accent from there, worked on it a little bit, and took the accent from there.

And I was like, what did the cylinder sound like? He goes, surprisingly crystal clear. And you could literally hear what a person, like what that guy sounded like in that era. Isn't that amazing? I mean, it was. Daniel Day-Lewis is probably our best representation of it, because I bet he nailed it.

He must have. He must have. We've never heard the cylinders. I've never seen him not nail something. He played a boxer, and it's the best version of an actor playing a boxer ever. He really looks like a boxer. Like, as he's moving, he's doing everything correctly. The way he's holding his hands, the way he's responding to being hit,

the way he's following through with his punches, with his footwork. He literally looked like he could be a professional boxer. It takes so much energy and focus to get that good. Like, he didn't just look like an actor that they taught how to box. Like, here's a perfect example, and I don't mean to diss him, but Marky Mark, Mark Wahlberg, whatever. The Fighter? The Fighter was a great movie. I loved his performance in the movie, but when you watch him boxing, it looks like an actor is boxing.

Right. Really? Because I thought he was, like, street smart. He looks like he can box. I bet. Really? Because I thought he was street smart. I bet he can box. But it doesn't look like... When you watch Daniel Day-Lewis do it, Daniel Day-Lewis is moving like

a real professional boxer. And when you watch the Mark Wahlberg thing, it seems like I'm watching a movie. I'm watching a movie where there's boxing in it. There's a difference in the reality. What about Stallone? Did he convince? No.

He didn't look like a boxer? No. I mean, he looks like a guy who can kick your ass. Don't get me wrong, but the way a professional fighter moves is very specific. You have to, unless you're some Roy Jones Jr. freak of nature athlete who can keep your hands down and do all kinds of crazy shit because nobody can touch you because you're so fast and your timing is so good. But there's only a few of those guys ever.

And if you look at a classic boxer, they have very simple characteristics. The hands are always up high, the chin's tucked, the shoulders are up. Nobody does that in a movie. In a movie, everybody's, their hands are down, they're throwing wild punches and flexing their muscles, and it's my turn to hit you, and then it's your turn to hit me

and it looks very obvious. I would never get into a 30 second 40 second hug embrace kind of like where they have to get split up. You can't do it realistically unless you're going to let people hit people and you don't want to do that because you're only going to get one shot at it and people aren't

going to like it. No one's going to like a halfway fight. It's like I'm going to let you hit me and then I'm going to hit you back. We're going to agree that there's a certain amount of times we only going to get one shot at it, and people aren't going to like it. No one's going to like a halfway fight. It's like, I'm going to let you hit me, and then I'm going to hit you back. We're going to agree that there's a certain amount of times we're going to hit each other realistically hard. You can't do that. You can't do it. You can't fake it. I could do it. You could do it?

Yeah. You think you can do it realistically? Real easy. Let me ask you this. Just kidding. Other than Daniel Day-Lewis who has convincingly fought in a movie that earned your respect where you were like alright that looks like it

other than Daniel Day-Lewis because that bar is too fucking high dude Denzel Washington when he played Reuben Harry Carter can't you give me somebody that's just like nope you need a guy like that you need a bad motherfucker who just really commit over commit my friend Terry Claiborne trained him for some of that.

And he would go down to the Hollywood boxing gym. It was on La Brea. And he said that guy would be out there every fucking morning at 7 o'clock, blaring his music in the parking lot, fired up. And he said he would run up the stairs and he would train like a professional boxer. He said he did everything I asked him to do. did it exactly the way I told him to do it, skipped rope, sit-ups, when he was in there every day. He literally transformed himself into a professional boxer.

There's only a few guys who can hit that level, that Daniel Day-Lewis, that Denzel Washington level of commitment. There's only a few guys who can do that. Those are the only two guys that I've ever seen that look like real fighters. Daniel Day-Lewis and Denzel Washington fight each other. Who wins? Daniel Day-Lewis. Get the fuck out of here. I would say Denzel. That's a crazy way of putting it.

It's gotta be Denzel. He'll get tired. He'll gas out. He'll start off strong. Daniel will take the punches. What do you base this on? Glory? Just fucking talking shit, bro. Just talking shit. We're both talking shit. I just have to guess. If I looked at the boxer that Daniel Day-Lewis was and I looked at the boxer that Denzel Washington was,

I think Denzel Washington looks like a very good athlete, moves very well, but it looks more like Daniel Day-Lewis is a real boxer. If we base it on their movie rules, then Daniel Day-Lewis held out a long time as John Proctor in The Crucible. Denzel Washington, one of the best actors ever, right?

Yeah, totally. Oh, God, yeah. And you know what? They gave him, when they gave him the Oscar for what was it? Was it Malcolm X? No, that was the thing. They should have given him to him for Malcolm X. That performance, if you ever go watch Malcolm X footage

on YouTube, which you can now. They've got tons of it. Nothing but free. Fascinating. You look at that and you realize you want to talk about Denzel Washington up at six training like a boxer. He didn't even have YouTube to pull clips from. He became Malcolm X.

The mannerisms, the way he holds his hand as he speaks, it's crazy. He should have gotten, I think he got nominated. He should have won that year. He didn't. Then they gave it to him years later for the King Kong ain't got nothing on me. Yeah, that was the training day? Training day. Yeah.

He was really good at it. That's the thing. He's like, I remember when they first gave him the award, I hadn't seen the movie. I was like, oh, they're making up for fucking overlooking Malcolm X. But then you see his performance in that movie, and what could be a simple programmer or a simple good guy, bad guy, he took that role to the next level.

Yeah. So it may have been overdue payback for a fantastic performance he didn't get enough credit for, but I think he earned that 10. I agree, 100%. With this performance alone. He legitimately seemed like a corrupt cop.

He becomes it. He's one of those guys. And sociopathic. You believed he was sociopathic. And him giving him the smoking, he's like, you're smoking the wet. He enjoyed it. He was a little malicious and shit like that. It seemed real. It seemed very real when he was enjoying it.

To put your mind into that place to allow yourself to go there, you've got to get real close to crazy. You've got to get right next door neighbors to crazy. You've got to see crazy every morning when you're getting in your car. Morning crazy. What's the craziest you've seen? Who you worked with that you're like, I've seen someone go to that place? On Red State, we were with Michael Parks.

I don't think I've ever seen Michael Parks and Melissa Lea. I went to weird places, like incredible places where I'm like, oh, shit, this is otherworldly stuff. Like true fucking actors, man. True across the board. Michael Parks is the preacher? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, folks, if you see one movie this year, see Red State. Kevin invited me to this movie.

Now, listen, I had known nothing. I knew nothing of what this movie was. I had no idea. And I showed up. I showed up with Aubrey. And we had not a fucking clue in the world as to what this movie was about. I assumed it was a comedy. I heard some whisper online. I heard it was a comedy. I heard some whisper online.

I heard it was a horror film, question mark. That's all I saw. So I go in with an awesome blank slate. And halfway into the movie, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Maybe 35, 45 minutes in, I was like, this is the craziest

fucking... This is Kevin Smith's movie? You don't even... you have to throw out everything you think of as a kevin smith movie kevin smith movies are always fun comedies you know and this movie just gets so fucking crazy so quick and just keeps and and goes and you know i really i appreciate so much about that movie, but what I really, well, the one thing that's staggering right off the bat was that guy who played the preacher, Michael Parks. Amazing. If that guy doesn't get nominated for the Academy Award, he...

He deserves so much attention. Yeah. Fuck awards, right? Fuck the, who cares? But still, you know what? To a 70-year-old man who this business turned its back on a long time ago and clearly has better chops than most of his peers who went on to other things, it means something.

Yeah. That award, it may not mean shit to me, like me getting awards, but him, that award means something. It's still, he comes from an era where it does mean something. Well, I wish we could substitute that with the greater opinion of, you know, whatever people, nice people all across the country. People discerning individuals. If you watch this movie and don't think this guy's a fucking super genius.

All that shit that I said about Daniel Day-Lewis, exact same shit I'm saying about this guy. He's one of those very special talents. He was playing this fucking preacher. And he had this one long long non-cut monologue i mean the camera is on him for a long fucking time and it's all one run and it's brilliant thank you it's brilliant he he sucks you in to the point where you're shitting your you know this is gonna something terrible is gonna happen you don't know when you don't know what and it keeps he just holds you there with this conviction in this character and this character's belief that is fucking scary it's fucking scary there's you

know there's imminent death yeah like it's set up right there but his performance is so riveting he's so fucking good at the craft that you'll put because the movie's moving along in a nice clip right there we put the movie on pause be like ladies and gentlemen Michael Parks and he does a fucking essentially a guitar solo the most amazing guitar solo

you've ever heard and rather than be like move on fucking get to the murders that we knew were coming! People kick back and go like, oh my god. That's so beautiful. And he finishes his solo, and the movie begins again. It's pretty... It's so weird. It's pretty astounding.

A guitar solo? What kind of music? You saw it. It's him. It's his voice I'm talking about. More metaphorical. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm so high. Are you more stoned than me? How is that possible? Because you keep going. You keep going and dragging me in with you. I'm talking more metaphorical. Oh, Jesus Christ. Did I lose you? I'm so high. Are you more stoned than me? I must be. How is that possible? Because you keep going.

You keep going and dragging me in with you. I thought you were being literal. I'm down the rabbit hole, bitch. Wow. I'm an idiot. This ain't even happening. We're in this meditation tank. You're in the meditation tank, and we're just having this conversation.

How did that character come about? I've got to see the meditation tank before I go. Oh, yeah, for sure. I'll let you know. How'd the character come about? How did that guy? Fred Phelps. I saw a West Baptist church guy.

And basically, that dude created that character for me. Did that create the movie for you? Nah, a little bit. I mean, it was kind of a two or three prong thing. Like, number one, I saw Parks in From Dusk Till Dawn, which was Quentin's movie with Robert Rodriguez. And he's in the opening ten minutes. He's astounding.

I love acting. Love actors. Love people, actresses. People that can take the words off the page and make it sing. But there's only so many ways to skin a cat. And even the best of them, you pretty much can see the strings and whatnot. You know how acting works.

Every once in a while you meet one of these performers or see a performer. You're lucky you get to meet him. It takes it off the fucking grid, off the charts. This guy does this. In the opening of this movie, which from Dusk Till Dawn is a fun vampire fucking romp, this guy comes in and drops a performance that could have won, should have won, in a fair, just world, would have won a supporting Oscar nomination.

Like, you know, Jud have won a supporting Oscar nomination. Like, you know, Judi Dench gets one for Shakespeare in Love, and she's in the movie, what, seven or nine minutes. Parks is in From Dusk Till Dawn roughly the same time and gives a performance that's as electric, as believable, as off-the-charts wonderful, but, you know, it's a genre film, so you don't get the attention and stuff. This guy, I fell in love with him. I'm watching From Dusk Till Dawn, 1995, The Lumley Sunset Five. Bob Weinstein's like, you want to see the Quentin and the Rabbits movie?

I was like, yeah, fuck yeah, I want to see the vampire movie. And I went to go see this vampire movie made by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. But what I left there was, I have to work with that man. I don't know who that fucking man is, that sheriff guy in the first 10 minutes who, spoiler, spoiler, this movie's fucking 16 years old, but just in case,

he gets killed in the first fucking 10 minutes. Whole movie, I'm like, no, that dude was the fucking truth. The absolute truth. I walk out of that theater, I go, I gotta work with that guy. Just sit at the fucking feet of a Yoda like that for a month on a set.

Imagine the amount of fucking information you could glean, steal, fucking benefit from. He's pure genius in acting form. A clear genius. When you're watching him, it's so spectacular and riveting. So good. I inspired it. I told him there were days on set

like I did. We didn't do many takes at all because we were just, you know, we didn't have a lot of money and shit. So good. He inspired it. I told him there were days on set like I did. We didn't do many takes at all because we were just, you know, we didn't have a lot of money and shit. It was a low-budget movie. And when the performances are that good, man, you got John Goodman, Melissa Leo, you got Parks. They're crushing it, take one and shit. So, you know, I leave it up to them, and they're like, I'm good.

If you're good, I'm like, I don't direct the movie as much as I sit there and edit it in my head on set because you don't direct Michael Parks. I'm going to go up to him and be like, here's how I do it based on my experience playing Silent Bob over the years. Did he ad-lib any of that? Oh, yeah. He got in there and definitely. Because it seemed like he could probably just start talking in that guy. He seemed so in tune with that fucking character, man. Yeah, he was.

Well, he had that script for, what, two, three months ahead of time. By the time he came to the set, and I'm not the author of that performance. That guy authored his own performance, hands down. Across the boards. You don't direct a movie like Red State. You just let it happen.

You make sure you keep it on the tracks. This dude's, like, his, he had the script for a while. When he came to the set, he was like, can I have the space? Can you show me the space? And we brought him to the chapel and went on. They were still putting the finishing touches on it, but he kind of did a laid out, like the way you would lay out a dance.

He essentially kind of didn't say the dialogue out loud, but he would just sit there and you'd watch him kind of moving his arms and stuff, and it looked like he was slowly waltzing by himself. And then he'd stop somewhere and ask somebody to put a mark here, blah, blah, blah, put a mark here. Then he put it all together. I got to see what he was doing the next morning. He had choreographed this fucking thing. Like he could do it from top to bottom. Like he could do the entire scene, which was, I think in the script, 12 pages, 12 pages of dialogue or something ridiculous like that and he could

fucking do it from beginning to end and you watch him hit his marks he knew exactly where he wanted to be and stuff so much so that like I had done a draft right before shooting and I was like hey man this is the new version of the sermon and he fucking bristled because he was like no no no no I mean that other stuff's great

what do you need this for blah blah and what i realized was because he was dialed in like he knew what was going to happen when he hit that stage he knew where to be so that he could just let his art come out of his mouth but he was still framing the movie for still commanding the stage as a movie let's keep things moving he wasn't content to just stand there and deliver dialogue which he could have and he still would have fucking captivated you instead he choreographed his movement um it was fantastic he was a dude that just gave beyond given you you know i i wrote it with him in mind going i know what it's going to sound like because i'm a big fan of this dude's work now and even getting to the set he would still deliver over what i heard in my head like Like, oh, like I remember, I'll never forget. What, a month?

A month before we start shooting, we're in my kitchen. It's me, John Gordon, who's the producer of the movie, and Parks. And we're just talking about when we're going to go. It took us a while to get money together. And so we're leaving the kitchen, and we're talking about something in the script, and he stops, and he goes, he delivers one of the lines. And he delivers it so flawlessly. And it was the first time I heard Parks do what would be Abe and Cooper.

And so I was like, oh, my God, Parks. My heart skipped a beat and shit. He left. And I turned to John Gordon. I was like, dude, he's going to win an award. I don't know what it is, but, like, there's no way people don't cite him. Like, for that one line he slipped into Abe and Cooper, you could hear it. he's going to win an award. I don't know what it is, but there's no way people don't cite him. For that one line he slipped into Abe and Cooper, you could hear it.

The gravitas of the life that Michael Parks has led in forming every job he did or didn't get, an entire life brought to bear on this. He gave a monster some soul. You look at that character on the page, very two-dimensional, easy to hate. Michael put a soul on him where, you know, you still hate him, but you're like, oh, there's somebody under there. You know, he's not just like a two-dimensional cartoon you could easily write off. He brought something to it.

And I wanted him to do two-dimensional cartoon. Like, I was just like, I'm going to put you in track suits because that's what Fred Phelps wears. And, you know, you can talk like him. He goes, I don't want to do that. If you want me to do a Fred Phelps impression, get somebody else. He's going, that man's fucking boring. He's like, I came to act.

I was like, right on. And he did charismatic instead. Wow. He's a dude, man. He don't fuck around. This is a dude who's a straight shooter. 70 years old. He's not pulling punches.

He's going to tell you exactly how he fucking feels. And he. What is it? That has to be a little intimidating, though, when you're having that kind of conversation with him. You wanted him to do that, though, right? You wanted him to take it and own it. It all exists because of him. I'm a grown-up, so I can

take good ideas, leave stuff behind. He gave me the wonderful idea. You've seen the movie. It ends with somebody going, shut the fuck up, from off-camera. Spoiler, spoilers. That came from Parks. It wasn't in the script it was just you know uh it just ended where it kind of ended without that and parks was like how about instead you go off of me and i'm trying to be vague so as not to spoil it but i hope you remember what i'm talking yeah i do totally go off of me singing and then you go down to another cell

and there you are you know and and you say you're giving away way too much your movie right now a little bit but again i said spoilers but it's tune out folks yeah but anyway he goes you say blah blah you say that line and i was just like um i said parks i would love to but I think it would be weird in this moment. I said, I like the idea of that line. I said, but cut to me in the movie. I'm not in the movie, and I think people would take people out of the movie. And he goes, why?

And I was going, because people would recognize me. And he goes, from what? And I realized, oh, my God, this guy, he has no clue he has no clue that, like, I've had this whole other career. As far as he knows, like, it's Red State and Red State only. He knows I made some movies, has no idea what they are, didn't know I was in them or anything. That was so sweet. It was going in pure, you know what I'm saying?

Like, this dude went in all about the craft, and he dropped science on that performance, and he would sit there from time to time, like, and be like, can I grab one more take? And I'd be like, Parks, you can have as many takes as you want. We're literally all here because of you, because I saw that performance in From Dusk Till Dawn. So it was kind of like the whole movie was kind of a Parks celebration.

People that didn't know him fell in love with him as we made the movie because the dude just, every day you were awed by something he did but you were sitting there going oh my god like do you remember he started singing in the movie at one point we had the whole chapel you know everyone in the chapel singing and and i said uh for some other part of the movie he said hey man uh while this thing's going on over here on camera i'm gonna push in on you you want to sing one of those gospel hymnals? Because he picked the other one, Old Rugged Cross. I said, you got another one you want to go with?

And he's like, yeah, man, I can sing Farther Along. You want that? And I was like, yeah, whatever. Sure, totally. And we shoot him. We're pushing in on him. And he sings Farther Along. And it's kind of as it is in the movie. It's got this beautiful, soulful voice. The men had made records. Oh, it sweeps me off my feet.

And it's a church song, but I'm still way into it. Next day, I come into work. Everyone on set, periodically, I'm going like, Father in the world. And they're all singing it. And I'm like, it's good. I said, right? Like, it's catchy? They're like, yeah, for a Jesus song, it's pretty catchy and stuff.

So he brought that to it, too, the elements of singing. Charisma. Charisma. And that's what he went for. He said he brought that to it too the elements of singing charisma charisma and and that's what he went for he said he wanted to play it as a charismatic he had this whole backstory for like you know his not only abin cooper's father but his grandfather he's like oh he's very close with his grandfather he wrote a backstory himself to create for the character yeah he told me he's just like look he was tight with his grandfather and his grandfather was still fire and brimstone. He was charismatic, but he was still strict.

But his grandfather still also had a sense of humor for the kids, so his grandfather would be the one in the kitchen, you know, pulling like a train whistle down with one fist and lifting a leg and farting with the other. So he was still kind of human. So he loved his grandfather, Ivan Cooper, even though he preached the holy word and he loved him for it cooper even though he preached the holy word and he loved him for it his father also preached the holy word this killed me because park's going on all

eloquently he goes his father also preached the holy word but he probably touched his dick so he don't talk about his father ever i was like that's astounding dude that's amazing that's so bizarre but he gave it thought he gave thought into buying the outfit, dude. He went out and picked out the wardrobe with Beth, the wardrobe person, picked every piece. She was just like, never really done that before. Gone out with girls who are looking for specific sizes. But right down to the underwear and the socks, the dude had to be involved in picking the choices that what Aiden wore.

He felt represented. Yeah, and he put the outfit together. I remember the first time she showed me a picture of him in the outfit beth beth uh pastor beth beth um fuck anyway regardless beth shows me pictures of uh abin in um and in his outfit michael parks and i'm going oh man that ain't it at all i was looking for a tracksuit like this dude wearing some khakis and button-down shirt and a tie looks like a school teacher and i had you know i'd written i'd read state on my brain for like five years you know wrote it five years ago and i'd always had very specific idea of what he looked like which was stolen from the look of fred phelps and i remember

going like i don't know man like how do i address this i don't want him to wear this and she was like you might want to go with it he's dialed into the costume and it was such a good choice because the clothes made the man like i don't even know how else to say it it sounds it sounds corny but the the outfit made him just allowed him to do what he had to do up there he felt like if you see him early in the movie at one point he's at the protest holding a cup of coffee outside he's wearing just a jacket a windbreaker and a t-shirt or something but whenever he spoke the holy word he would put on what you know his sunday best essentially and this was his sunday best like the button-down shirt with the tie and he believed in presenting particularly if you're going to go up there and preach the holy word you should look respectable and all this philosophy behind just

the outfit and the whole time i feared it until we went in front of cameras. I was like, this looks beautiful. Like the outfit is perfect in some weird way. Because it gives him this just air of respectability. And that makes the shit coming out of his mouth that much more heinous. I realize I'm still standing. He was... Yeah, that guy's a unique talent.

It's hard to believe that it's taken him this long for... Well, it's taken me this long to find out who he is. You know, like, why doesn't America... Quentin and Robert.

Quentin Tarantino particularly. Made that guy famous? This is my charming Quentin story. I love this story because it shows you that we're all like fucking kids in this business. We go see the movie.

Quentin's got his own fucking movie theater at his house. Looks like a fucking real movie theater. Movie seats, fucking popcorn and shit. And he's got these awesome sculptures from his movies all around by this artist named Cleet Shields. Great. Own personal movie theater sits about 50 or 60 or something like that. Maybe a little less. So we go watch red

state there's me quentin and parks michael parks and he liked it he he liked it so he really loved that i want to oversell it but he dug the movie so much he watched it without us when he wasn't supposed to like he got the print two days early we're supposed to watch it with him the day that we joined him and he was like i'm gonna going to be honest with you, I watched it already. Twice. Fucking love it. I was like, oh, you don't have to apologize, but that's fucking awesome and shit. So he watched it with us again. Then afterwards

he goes, come in the house. Because the theater is separate from the house. And he brings us in the house and this fucking charmed me. I will never forget this. He goes, I've got to show you my tape. I've got to show you my Michael Parks tape. And he goes into, you know, he's got big entertainment centers, DVDs everywhere and stuff, high tech everywhere,

but he also still has VHS. And the dude lays hands on a fucking VHS tape, almost as if I thought I hit the fucking flux capacitor because I hadn't seen one in a while. And there, scribble on the fucking side and marker, because remember we used to write on the side of our videotapes when we made our own tapes. The best of Michael

Parks. And Quentin throws this tape in. And what it is, is he's such a fan of this guy's work. He loves him going back to Then Came Bronson. He loves this dude's work so much. Anytime this dude's going to turn up on TV or gets a video of him he he records from

tape to tape or from tv to tape the segments of his performance everything that involves michael parks and particularly the highlights and shit so what you have is a collection of like some of the cheesiest exploitation straight to TV movies about a high school volleyball team or college volleyball team and stuff like that, murder mysteries and whatnot. Like, real programmers. And as he's shown you the clips,

even though it's programmers all around him, Michael Parks is still, in each one of these scenes that Quentin has pulled off and put onto this vhs dropping science performance science where you're just like this is crazy like this dude's doing shakespeare in the middle of shit and not to put all you know anybody who made those movies down or off or whatever but clearly like everyone else is kind of like you know here we are collecting a

check and this is about the best, the furthest we can go. And this dude is, like, crushing it, crushing it. Like what movies? A lot of TV movies. I don't even know them, dude. They're all TV movies from, like, the 60s and 70s and a little bit into the 80s. And that's what Quentin had collected. He's got, you know, encyclopedic knowledge of cinema and even bad trash cinema.

There is no such thing as trash cinema to this guy. He watched that movie and he found gold, like diamonds in the midst of shit that was just maybe simple or fucking program material. And he collected them for years on a fucking VHS tape. Long before he ever knew he would be a filmmaker. Long before he ever knew he would be a filmmaker long before he ever knew he'd meet Michael Parks let alone become a filmmaker make movies with Michael Parks in them direct Michael Parks and inspire me to make a fucking movie where I put Michael Parks in it like he that's what he said to me he's like oh my god he's going as a Michael Parks fan I love this this is an this is

the ultimate Michael Parks movie I was like right right right! Right! So for me, it was that was, I loved that. The tape, dude. He still had it. If he had just told us the story of I used to have this tape, man, where I had the best that would have been cool enough, dude, but he produced it and we all watched it together. And I sat in a chair off to the

side and him and Parks sat on the couch and it was I would have rolled a tear if it wouldn't have embarrassed them both or made them be like get out. But there they were. Like the man whose work that this kid filmmaker loved so much. Think about the

shit you made mixtapes of when you were a kid. He made this guy's performance and there he is watching that very same tape with the guy on the tape. You, the actor he loves. Oh, it was touching. You know what? That's inspiring, but it's also inspiring that there's guys like Tarantino out there, real enthusiasts, dudes who get really fucking super excited about some shit.

But that's like you with fucking MMA or whatever the fuck. The shit that you're into, you're super into. You get geeky about. Yeah, yeah, I definitely do. He gets geeky about fucking movies. Yeah. And that passion will translate to an audience.

For everything, whatever it is that you're doing, man. I never wanted to see a fucking single, what is it, UFC? Yeah. UFC fight. But when you talked about it on the show, I was just like,

when you came on our show, I was like, you know, I would go see this now. Like, when you talk about it with the passion and enthusiasm you do, it translates to somebody who was never sold before, and I wasn't even on the fence, really. But then when I watch you talk about it, I'm like, this motherfucker's smart.

Like, he's one of the smartest dudes I ever met. Everyone running the organization is intelligent. It's a totally different thing than what people expect. You hear the term cage fighting. You think, well, there's going to be a bunch of barbaric assholes and mean people beating up other mean people. That's not

what it is at all. What it is is people that are trying to attempt to do the most difficult thing in all of sport. Put your body and your health at risk to go after another person's body and shut it down and take it out it's the craziest game of all time but it's the oldest game of all time male dominance over

other men and look we have a society where obviously that's illegal you can't you can't beat people up you can't it's good we want everything to be civilized we want but in this the midst of evolution where we find ourselves in this stage along the way from changing from a wild animal to a conscious being, we still got a lot of chimpanzee DNA that needs to be satisfied. And there's one or two ways to do it. Either you can suppress it, you can pretend it doesn't exist, or you can give it something like porn or violence on television and movies and in sports. You could give it something to live vicariously through. Is that why I like porn? Yes, because if you don't have these other ways to live vicariously through,

there's only one other way around it. You have to go find whatever it is you're looking for, whether it's find violence or find sex. But if you can get violence and sex in a television form, you can eliminate it from real life. The Japanese have believed this forever. The Japanese believe that you're much more likely to commit

heinous sexual crimes if it's difficult to get laid. They're so freaky over there, you can buy used women's panties and dispensers. It's ridiculous. You put some cash, you buy underwear. And their porn is, there's no pubic hair. It's only nipples, and even those are kind of

taken out. But their animation and their comic books are fucking intense. A lot of bondage. It's giant cocks too. Giant vein-laden. You're not allowed to see hair or pubic hair. So bizarre.

It's got to be weird when an entire country looks so similar physically. I mean, obviously you can tell the difference between one Japanese guy to another. I know a lot of Japanese people, but essentially the vast majority of the people that live in Japan have this one look, dark hair, the Japanese look. I mean, they are a clear race. It's got to be so strange to be a part of such a specific ethnicity. Like, I'm a mutt.

You look like you're probably a mutt. You're a mutt. You know, we're a combination. I'm a little bit Irish, a little bit Italian. But, you know, I'm just a white guy, you know, to most people. But when you, you know, Japanese people, like, that is a very clear race. That's got to be very strange to be a part of a real powerful, dominant... You know what I'm saying?

It's like you look at... Some Italians you can see this in. You look at them and you go, oh, clearly that guy's some sort of an Italian guy. Or if not, he's Armenian or something like that. That sort of dark look. But it could be a bunch of different things.

Japanese guys look like Japanese guys. If you understand what Asian people look like, Koreans have a different look to them. But it must be interesting to be a part of one of how many millions of Japanese people are there? And to have such a

similar look with all these different people like you that you could be recognized immediately somewhere else in the country. I think it would be awesome to have a culture like they have a culture. I mean, we have pop culture, which thank God, because that's why I have a job, but they have a culture that goes

back eons. And we don't really have that. And as white mutts, we don't really have a culture that goes back eons. What always impressed me about the Japanese is the culture of discipline. They've had this culture of discipline and of martial arts. The discipline of war and strategy like way before any of the European countries ever figured out what the fuck was going on. Right.

Like Shogun. This tattoo that I have on my arm is Miyamoto Musashi battling a tiger. This famous samurai guy. And he wrote this book called The Book of Five Rings. It's an amazing book, man, where you've got to get into this guy's head that he's living. I believe it was the 15th century. So I think it was like the 1400s. I might be wrong.

Whenever he was writing this book, basically, he was a Ronin. So he would travel the earth. He had no master. He had no emperor. So he was traveling the earth, basically having fucking sword fights with people. He had like 60 duels, one-on-one duels with other men and killed them in hand-to-hand, one-on-one combat. It's a crazy thought to think about killing people with swords. This guy did it to like 60 different guys. Swords, and in some situations he thought swords were too easy, so he would let them use a sword and he would use a stick. I mean, he was fucking, he was a fascinating character.

But his whole life was based on balance. It was about art. It was about philosophy. It was about philosophy. It was about seeking the correct way. And for him, the way of the sword was simply the way to be successful, the most successful movements in any given situation as far as what combat is. But he equated this combat to artistic integrity, the ability to create things freely,

the ability to draw and paint, the ability to write poetry and to elegantly express your feelings. To him, it was all connected. It was all one piece of excellence. And that is like a guide to live your life by. And he had this statement that I read when I was a kid and it always stuck with me. Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things. The idea being

that once you find out how to tap into anything, like find out how to be a great movie director, find out how to be a great guy who draws animation, a fucking singer, a chess player. Say it again. Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things.

This is a translation from Japanese, so it's probably not totally accurate. But that's what he meant, is that you find greatness. You find greatness as a carpenter. You find greatness as a samurai. There's that same thing when you just tap into the zone where you're just really tuning into whatever the fuck you're doing and then you let creativity sort of spread it out for you. Comes better with age too

doesn't it? Comes better with awareness. You get that it's just like comes out of the what? With awareness I think. Not even just with age? I think the age is just experience. And that's awareness? Or eventually equates to awareness? I don't think it's necessarily just age. There's a lot of people that get older and they put that box closer and closer to their head.

They want to see less and less of the world. Right. It's all you're seeking as well. You're not trapped in some sort of a box every day. So as you get older, of course you're going to get more tuned into things. You're constantly still asking the questions. You're not trapped in a slave box. I used to be a destination guy. I talked about it with Mojo on Smodcast quite a bit back in the day. I was destination. He was very journey oriented for him.

It was all about like, Hey man, everything's a journey. And you know, it's like the journey is the fucking fun and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no destination, get there. I just want to get to where we're supposed to be. And the last few years I've flipped and now I am kind of like, the journey is more important to me. You know why that is? Why?

Because you're rich as fuck. No, weed. I think it's weed. It's that too, but it's also you're successful. You think so? You don't have to worry about it anymore. Yeah, you're fucking Kevin Smith. You've got two million followers on Twitter.

You can talk to them whenever you want to. They want to come and see your movies. You're in this weird zone where you don't have to give a fuck anymore. Yeah, you know what it is? Somebody put best, and I love the expression, and I've co-opted it, but they said, Kevin doesn't have to work for anyone anymore because he works for the audience. And I was like, oh, God, that's perfect.

It's true. That's it. If you could get to that place where it's not about like fuck everyone no no but you don't rely on anybody right for anything it's all coming from within you your camp or something like that not like there's no help of course you get help within your world but do you know how comforting is it is to know that I don't have to do