The Joe Rogan Experience - #1359 - Roseanne Barr

Episode Date: October 2, 2019

Roseanne Barr is a comedian, actress, writer, television producer, director.

Can't do much more to me, can they? Well, Joe, it's so great to see you. Great to see you too. I love the sunglasses. They're pretty slick. Aren't they the coolest? They're perfect. These are, okay.

I thought I was getting the coolest ones, but then my friends who were shopping with me, they came running back and they were like, uh-uh, uh-uh, don't pay yet. Don't pay yet. Honey, take a look at these. And I looked and there's a separation like between the frame. Right. See, you want to look at these. And I looked, and there's a separation, like, between the frame. Right. See, you want to look? Okay.

I did my own eye makeup, so it's a mess. I couldn't get anybody to fix my makeup today. What's the benefit of the separation? Fucking art. Just looks dope. Fuck yeah. I get it. You got a little bit of brow peeping through.

I see. See? I like them a lot. They're very cool. And look at the pink or flesh or whatever you call this. That's my color. I like the bracelet too. The pink one, that's jamming.

The pink one. It's pretty dope. I've had it for a long, long time. Like Phyllis Diller, I just collect weird costumes, you know? Yeah. And just wear them in the house. But I decided to start wearing them out more now. I like it.

Yeah, it's fun. It works. You can pull it off for sure. I like the hair now, too. You're all blonde now. Hells yeah. Yeah, you're all Debbie Harry. I'm all going rock star now because I'm like, okay, well, you know, whatever.

Okay. Nothing can ever stop me because I'm a comic, right? Right. Nothing can stop us. Nothing. Because we have some fucking weird DNA bend that we just have to get the fucking last laugh, right? We have to get the laugh. And so I have to.

I'm just glad you're back to stand up too. I'm really, really excited about that. I don't know about that. It wasn't sparking joy as that woman says she says if you're doing anything in your life that is not sparking joy then fuck it who said that that lady that tells you to throw out your clothes that don't spark joy oh she like a minimalist lady uh i don't know she's on the internet okay she's really helped me because I'm a hoarder. Yeah, me too a little bit.

Are you? You can tell by this desk. I've got a lot of knickknacks and stuff that I save. But were you saying that stand-up wasn't sparking joy? Yeah. When was this? It wasn't sparking joy. In the past?

Yeah, in the last few, you know, in a while. Because I'm so nervous. It's like, oh, my God. I get so nervous because I don't really know. I don't really know anymore, you know. I don't really. The funny moved. I see what you're saying.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It does. Yeah. Like I was saying, I need a line, one killer line, one killer opening line that encapsulates the entire year I've just lived through. Right, right.

I need that kind of a line or it's not going to work for me, you know? Because everybody knows something happened. Sure, yeah. And I just don't talk about it that much besides calling everybody a bitch and shit, you know? Do you ever work with writers? Me? Like stand-up writers, yeah. No, I want to, but all my friends are dead.

All my co-writing comic friends are dead. I'm sure we can connect to somebody. Or they moved to Israel and became Chabad. You know who would be great? Who? Tony Hinchcliffe. Who's that? He's hilarious.

How old? He's a great comic. He's 36's 36 oh that's a good age yeah 35 36 oh he's really funny really he sees things fantastic joke writer and he writes for roasts all the time he's a big roast writer yeah i love roast yeah i would love to connect you with i would love that if you would you know coalesce your thoughts. You know, the comics that like me, you know. Push this mic up to you. A little closer to you. There we go. The comics that like me.

Everybody likes you. Well, I know that. Comics do. Yeah, the comics. Well, some don't like me. Well, they're silly. Yeah, well, some's bitches and they're looking for a fucking smackdown. I say this every podcast.

And believe me, when the day comes, they will get their fucking smackdown from me, Joe. I believe you. And it will not be like no smackdown they've ever had before in their privileged fucking little lives. I believe you. This will be you're going to raise your kids on welfare when I'm done with your ass. Whoa. Kind of thing, because I was raised on welfare. I was as well. Were you? Yeah, well, until we were like with your ass. Whoa. Kind of thing, because I was raised on welfare. I was as well.

Were you? Yeah, well, until we were like 13, 14. Yeah. Did you get the government cheese? We did. We didn't get the government cheese. My dad used to take that whole five-pound brick of cheese. You know, my dad was the greatest comic.

Yeah, but crazy, like never knowing when to stop, because it stops being funny at a certain point. Right. But keep pushing it and pushing it until somebody slaps you down. Yeah. It's that DNA thing that comics have. It's bad. It is bad.

Like my friend Sue Mengers. Remember her, Joe? Sue Mengers. I do know the name. Yeah. Well, she was in that kinder, whatever it was, where they moved these Jewish children from Germany to England, kinder sport or something,

and, you know, to save them. And she was one of those. And her dad was a comic in Germany. And it's just so weird how things go round and round, and we'll get to what we're going to talk about today. But her dad was a comic in Germany, you know, real funny, real popular. And Hitler came and took over, and he kept on telling the jokes, you know. He was telling the jokes wherever he went, every little club, doing the jokes. And he was warned, don't, you know, switch up your joke, man.

If you want to keep working, switch that joke up to be, you know, not what you're saying, you know. And he wouldn't do it. And she said he even got louder, and he was arrested and, of course, murdered in Auschwitz. But she lived. And she said, I said, what would you say to your dad now? She said, at a certain point, it fucking stops being funny. Do something different. Don't write it to the destructo.

Don't go all the fucking else way over. Try staying in the middle. Don't destruct yourself for comedy. Isn't that the problem with some comics, though? We don't really know where the line is until you cross it. And then you go, oh, I fucked up. I crossed the line. But you're just trying to be funny.

And that's something that I think that non-comics don't really understand. When a comic fucks up, makes a mistake, they're just trying to be funny. They're not trying to be mean. And they just missed. They missed. And it happens all the time because you're creating. You're ad-libbing. You're basically improvising.

And that's a lot of what comedy is, is improvising a line and trying to say something. And in the moment, you might think it's funny. But if you had more time to think about it, you might have said, oh, I shouldn't say it that way. People are going to get it wrong. Or maybe I should recorrect myself. But that's when you start being not funny because self-censorship that's how they want us to be they want us to like always be like should i say this or shouldn't i say this and you know just like her dad there in germany you know should i say this or should i say that or instead of i guess the more intelligent

of us go how can i say this and reach people yeah because you know the people are thinking just like you because they're people too but we're not ruled by people let's really get into it now okay let's get into it who we're ruled by artificial intelligence already uh-huh shit has been it's been an experiment for almost 700 years. 700 years. Yeah, more. Did you see today, Joe? It was the biggest news I've ever seen in my life. And I didn't get a chance to vet it.

Okay, I'm not going to say it, but I did see it. Please say it. We'll vet it ourselves on the show. Okay. I saw a lot of these Christians out there. I mean, they're really connected in with the whole Q thing. Have you noticed that? Q and, like, Q and on?

Is that what you're saying? Just Q. What is Q? 17. Do you explain it to people? What does that mean? 17. 17, like the letter Q?

Uh-huh. And that means eight, and then you reduce that down to two and reduce it to one. You know, it's a mystical thing. Oh, so it's like a numerology type thing? Yeah, everything's numbers. Right. And everything is like appreciating the numbers. Okay.

And that's why I told you there's this whole process to smoking a cigar. You don't just go like this. You have to Mess with it Sense it Smell it Hold it I believe I'll have a light now Joe Okay

Thank you Dang I love cigars No one's gonna get mad at me For giving you a cigar are they? No No? You're okay with that? Yeah, because you don't inhale. Oh, okay.

Yeah. There you go. I just can't do cigarettes. But I'm going to start on cigars because they last a hell of a lot longer than a cigarette. And they never go out. You smoke about half of one per day. When did you stop with the cigarettes? Because last time

you were here you were chain smoking chain smoking i smoked three three packs you were smoking three packs a day and this was right after all the bullshit went down and yeah i needed a smoke screen between myself and the world that's what my psychic counselor said you have a psychic counselor well it's my daughter but she's a psychic counselor. I'm sorry. No worries. And so they say shit like that to youth. See, they're on another wavelength as us.

That's a good idea, though, to have like a smoke screen or glasses. Like glasses kind of feel like that to me sometimes. Like if I have sunglasses on, I feel like I can like maneuver through crowds better. Of course you can because you're protecting your eyeballs because everything goes through your eyes. Like those things, those worms that they got now, they go right through your eyes. You know what I'm talking about, right? Oh, Jamie does. Do you?

He's all about eyeball worms. Let's see how schooled you are in this shit. Well, let's go back to the 700-year AI thing first. I don't want to lose that. We've been ruled by artificial intelligence for 700 years? Well, probably longer. Is this like alien shit? Since the days of Babylonia.

Well, it's Babylon. It's all Babylon. Babylon. Chant down Babylon, you know? It's Babylon. That's like Iraq, right? Sumer, Mesopotamia, that whole part of the world? Well, it's not really part of the world so much as it's part of the brain and the memory now.

Where was Babylon though? Because it's changed now. Was it? It's over there somewhere. In the Bible, as they say. Right. It's in the Bible. I just don't exactly know what part of the world.

It's the Middle East. Iraq? Okay. Yeah. And Iran. What a crazy part of the world. I mean, what an amazing history that part of the world has. And still is having. It's such a shame.

Still is having. As per my tweet, which was mischaracterized by people of low intellect is what I'm saying now instead of fucking idiot motherfuckers. I don't say that anymore. Now I say those of lower intellect. You know what I think big part of what was going on? Iran and the people spite in Iran of which I'm so thrilled and supportive for the people, the working people of Iran who want to overthrow their ruling class mullahs who control the way they think, do, and say in every aspect, particularly for women. And that's getting ready to go. And I hope Trump helps push that a little bit further, too.

Because everybody wants freedom now from Hong Kong to Tehran. The Hong Kong riots are insane. But I can't believe what's going on, the strength of the human spirit. It blows me away. Well, they've been rioting for so long now. I mean, it's not slowing down at all. 17 weeks of rioting. That is crazy. 17. Everything's 17. Everything's 17 everything you'll find out sooner it's just in the airline so is 11 did you ever notice that about 11 every

time you look at your clock it's something 11 right a lot of people i don't know it just is i don't know what it means just look at my watch and it's always like more times than not something 11. What does it mean to you though? Just that, hey, there's that shit again. Oh, okay. Just like a reminder. Look at that. There's a pattern to this.

I don't know. It's just there again. Right. There it is. It's like something synchronicitous. Synchronicitous is a great word. I hope it is. Synchronicitous.

It is now. Put it in the dictionary, Urban Dictionary. Trademark that. That's the beautiful thing about Urban Dictionary, right? You can just make up new words. God, I love it. And I love making up words. Me too.

I never have, though. I don't think I made one up, but I like it when other people do. I've fucked words up before, but I never stuck with them. Synchronicities? Yeah. That's legit. Thank you. Thank you so much.

My pleasure. Thank you. That means a lot to me. So 700 years of us being controlled by- Or more. My pleasure. Thank you. That means a lot to me. So 700 years of us being controlled by – Well, I mean – Or whatever. Like the Babylon thing, the whole descent of Babylon, which itself is artificial intelligence. And the Tower of Babel, which is the Tower of Artificial Intelligence, where everybody was trying to go higher, higher in the pyramid and the hierarchy,

was trying to go higher higher in the pyramid and the hierarchy where there's only like a certain percentage of people at the top and billions at the bottom and chains you know that that pyramid i mean it's getting over it's tipped now it's over it's not going to work anymore because people got too damn smart and god damn we i shouldn't say god damn you can say it. Say goddamn. God damn. Smart. And I'm so proud of them because, like, keep going, keep going, don't let nothing stop you. This is the first time in the human history, and this guy told me this once. I have talked to the most interesting people I've ever lived. This guy, he was the one that wired all of Mexico for Ted Turner or some shit.

the one that wired all of Mexico for Ted Turner or some shit, some big old parties I used to go to before I stayed too long. At first, they're fun. But anyways, I forgot what I was saying. Oh, yeah, he said, we put these satellites, this is the age of miracles, messages bouncing off satellites and appearing in billions of places at once at faster than the speed of light. And that this would engender a new, what do they call it, renaissance in art and everything. What do they call it? Renaissance in art and everything that, you know, when art gets fucking cool, everything gets cool. Buildings, commerce, everything gets creative.

And it's just a creative, creative time is coming from after this particular time of like a deadening or something where we didn't think. But now they can't hold it down. This is the first time in history, I said to him, it seems to me like this might be the first time in history where no church or state can keep the facts from the people. That's true. And he said, yeah, that's true. That does feel like this. And I mean, that's going to create the most cool shit. Yeah.

Like cars that'll fly or something. I don't know how it will manifest, but it's high thinking and it's good. And the more we see the rot at the bottom, which is everywhere now, you just got to keep looking up, just keep looking up. Don't look down when you're on that tightrope. That's what they say, never look down when you're walking a tightrope. Just keep looking forward and up a little bit, forward and up, and just keep going going it's tough for people right now who and i know uh people are getting censored and what the hell you know what what are we going to do about it you you wanted to talk about that it's well terrible yeah for sure and we we were as we got here jamie was informing me that there's some new youtube policy that is uh saying what what was the descriptions of our

podcast uh number 1357 got a human review with harmful or dangerous acts that's you remember what we talked about we probably joked around about harmful or dangerous acts yeah so i mean it's disgusting but i think i think that they think that they're saying it's in the video of it. Like they're saying, is this in your video? And I would say no. No. It's just disgusting. I don't know.

So can we appeal that or is that it? Maybe they want to open a dialogue. Oh, that's it? That's it. It's being appealed through a deeper process right now and we'll wait to see what they say. But this is a very new thing that just happened Within the last two weeks on YouTube

And we're probably one of the first channels to get it Have we had one of our guys look at the video To see if they can find something that they think is harmful Yeah, you should research and find out what exactly It was broken into clips and put on the clips channel And those were all allowed So I don't know If it was a different person that looked at it

So it's subjective then maybe. I have to say I'm rather staggered at what they allow and don't allow. I am so glad I'm fucking old because I'll be passing away from this fucking realm soon enough. Please, God. Nothing makes any fucking sense at all. It doesn't make sense, but I think it's fascinating. It's interesting to watch all these different people scrambling for control. Who?

Is that what they're doing? Yeah, they're scrambling for control. They want to control the way people communicate. And they also want to make a profit. See, part of this is they're incentivizing people to do shows that they can profit off of. So if you have a show that has no bad language, if you have a show that has no bad language, if you have a show that has no controversial topics, those shows are more appealing to advertisers. So for them as a business, they'll look at someone like me and say,

this is a limited advertiser option. But I just think they're looking at it incorrectly. If you looked at the popularity of it, you'd say, well, there's a lot of people that are paying attention to this. Just find the right ads. Find ads for, I don't know, find ads for shit that's a little bit more risky. I don't know what that would be. Corvettes, whiskey, I don't know. Whatever the fuck you want to sell. But it's not like we're not saying dangerous things like encouraging people to do harmful things

or asking people to do illegal things. Well, then you must have done something. Maybe you don't realize it. I don't think so. I think what it's more like is they've got very rigid ideas of what is or is not suitable for advertising. And maybe this is coming down from the ad executives. Maybe this is coming down from the ad executives maybe this is coming down from the

the people that are at the top that have a much more progressive stance on things what we would call progressive more i would say like hard left like a more hard left you mean censors yeah yeah there's a lot of that and they think it's okay and they think it's particular there's a lot of people that are getting censored that are not not people that are on the right, which I'm not on the right. But people that are, you know, journalists. I'm more of a, I'm certainly more in the middle. Like, I just came from a gun range. Check it out.

That's who's getting it. That's who's getting the ax are people in the middle. Because it is a war between those two far right and far right left factions. Yes, and they're so similar. To control labor. Well, to control the way people communicate and talk, too. It's just people like controlling people. It's a natural thing.

People want other people to comply. When you see all these riots and these protests where people are screaming at each other, they want power. I mean, whether it makes any sense or not, it's not like these people are in a position to actually do anything with that power, but they want people to comply. When they're yelling at someone, they want people to decide that this person's good or this person's bad or they're right or they're wrong.

I mean, this is what a lot of it is. It's a psychological game. It's just a social experiment. I don't know if it's an experiment, but the whole country's an experiment in self-government right and this is an experiment in self-expression because this is the first time that anyone like uh sally montgomery whatever and pick a name this lady can start a youtube channel and make a lot of sense and start talking some shit and be funny and all of a sudden

she's got 20 million subscribers and she's making a ton of loot but maybe she starts talking shit about things and maybe sally likes to joke around about certain things and they'll just decide well this is not suitable for advertising or this is this is dangerous or harmful and what people decide is harmful and isn't harmful the problem is this is this is not First Amendment, right? And in their defense, they're not keeping me from saying these things, but they're incentivizing you to not say these things by costing you money. Now, the question is, are they doing this because they just want to maximize their profits, and this is just how the deals that they have with advertisers, or are they doing it because of their personal views on what you're saying? And that's where things get squirrely, right?

When a person tells you personally, Roseanne, I don't like the way you talk about the country or about liberals or about this or about that, so we're going to try to silence your voice. There's a lot of that happening, too, whether people like it or not. Yeah, there has been for a really long time. But there's also a lot of left-wing journalists that are getting silenced. There's a lot of people that are independent journalists that are getting pushed out you know it's it's like tulsi gabbard his she's a she's a liberal she's a democrat but she's also a two-time uh she served overseas two two deployments and she's a six-year veteran and she's a more than a six-year veteran six-year

congresswoman she's you know she's getting censored she's suing google so it's they're not just going after people that are on the right obviously she's on the left she's running as a democratic candidate for president she's suing them because they censored her search results allegedly i don't you know i don't know enough about all that there's no way i could well they also hold people's numbers of followers down they can flip a switch yeah they can shadow ban you yeah that's everybody's shadow everyone i know is shadow ban so what santino actually i mean are we are people doing it for the advertising money that's what i asked myself i don't don't make a dime and i've been at it for 20 years i mean i don't make a dime in fact

every time i open my mouth, I cost myself some money. You mean on social media? Yeah. Yeah. And so, of course, I won't be on there anymore. Roseanne, you need a goddamn podcast. I know, Joe, I'm trying to get it, but people do not know what to tell me what to do.

I told you, I need someone to tell me what to do. You're in the right place. God damn it. Because I really need to tell people what's going on, and they don't even know. But I know because I did the reading for them. Yes. And, I mean, this is all just a social experiment to see how far they can push us. Let's make that happen. they can push us away from each other and away from any kind of possible power we could have

to coalesce and go wait a minute you guys are not going to take any more of our money for your fucking travels hey bitch you know what i'm saying bitch yeah i do no you can't uh-uh no you it was not in the public sphere when she said it was in the public sphere who was she nancy nancy pelosi oh it was not in the public sphere goddamn nancy oh nancy what did she do nancy is on my last nerve what did she do i've been saying it for 10 years too nancy you're on my last nerve you've got a lot to answer for in San Francisco, what you have allowed on the streets there to the homeless people. It's disgusting. I go up there, and I am disgusted. It's crazy right now.

I don't think most people know how bad it is. People are living in shit and filth. There are children around, drug addicts dying in the fucking streets of the richest financial district on the west coast you know where's that money going do you i just like and then laura loomer went up there to nancy's vineyard trying to find her it's like if you guys don't get yet that it don't matter who the president is, it's all a fucking scam to put public money into private pockets and nothing else.

You're being robbed and nothing else. And they're both doing it. Both parties, both sides, both up and down. It's about the American people. We have got to go to Washington. You know that movie, Mr. Smith? I think about we all need to be Mr. Smith and all go to Washington. This is our government.

That is our tax money. And it will be audited as Trump has promised. audited as Trump has promised. And as long as President Trump continues to make the moves to keep that promise to us, I will be supportive of him because that needs to happen. The Federal Reserve must be audited. And we have to thank President Trump for going in that direction. How much time do you spend thinking about this stuff? 18 hours a day. My kids, everyone's mad at me I mean

I have to I have to figure it out it makes no sense otherwise I mean people have to help me understand what I've done

you need a co-host you need like a like a journalist I'm a psychiatrist a journalist what a good idea yeah someone's gonna like sit with idea yeah someone's gonna like

sit sit with you tiffany mchenry who's that tiffany mix fits henry i can't remember it's fits henry he'll find tiff tiff i want her for my co-host oh shit what does she do she can uncover anything okay she goes out that she's like oh here Oh, he was arrested in 1922 when he had this and that. John Bolton, blah, blah. She gets it all. All declassified. The government's own shit. You have to make it up.

Freedom of Information Act stuff. It's the greatest story never told, the story of this country. It's phenomenal. I'd like to see somebody make a movie on it. Talk to Oliver Stone stone he seems like the guy i have talked to him before did you he's so left i'm like give it a rest huh to left give it a rest it's not about that you're not gonna have your one fucking commie world just dumb bastard back off you got billions go away you will raise somebody's fucking wage shut up

pay your people decent for fuck's sake let's start there he doesn't pay his people decent well i don't know that but i'm just saying if he didn't it would be wrong that's true you know what i'm saying i'm just sick of people's hypocrisy. I understand. Just how people get their fucking money back that belongs to them, like public money. That's for roads, streets, hospitals, schools, okay? Public money, when they give it to private contractors to go to, you know, where they go, you know, move guns and shit all around the world, that means, like Eisenisenhower said that's one less high school for the kids come on we're going to be the kind of a country that leads the world we cannot we're not we cannot be imperialist uh one world fascist we can't it won't work we have to do something else so we can't be one world fascists you mean like one world government

yeah no yeah leave people the fuck alone leave the tribal people in the middle east to live where they've lived forever fuck you know you know uh and if you can't then separate them separate them yeah if they can't live together then don't force them to live like what people you're talking about like the palestinians and the israelis like that kind of deal well in israel the arab population is very well integrated so i don't mean israel but out of israel they're not very well integrated you know because they just get their money from bullshit propaganda peddled by the left but the people on the ground are what i'm But the people on the ground are what I'm saying. The people on the ground are the ones that matter to me.

And if you can live together, then live together. That's great. And if you can't, then don't. Nobody can force you to live with people who want you dead. What is that? That's Auschwitz. Are you shitting me? I'm not going gonna live with people

that want you dead i'm not not sure what you're referring to though i'm referring to the entire world the whole world the entire fucking world uh led by you know bad ideas man that haven't worked this far it going to have to be something new that actually works for the people in the world, not just the people at the top. Like, do you have any suggestions? The people in the world. Of course! I'd love to hear them.

Like, what do you think you should do? Well, when I ran for president, I had my solutions. What's the solution? Well, I have to tell you, Joe, when I was a little girl, Well, I have to tell you, Joe, when I was a little girl, I made a promise to myself, I guess, and the cosmos and God and everything, that I was going to keep trying to know, no matter what, I was going to keep trying to know. And know something new, know something new and different.

Like what? How to create a world where something like Auschwitz doesn't exist. And even the thought of it doesn't exist. But you really can't. Because I think when you read about Western society and all of that, you're like, maybe that was, you know, that's where it leads. Well, it seems like throughout history there's been evil governments. There's been certain evil organizations that have done horrific things. Yeah. Like way back to, as far as we know, from Rome to the Inquisition to the Mongols to the, you know,

I mean, there's been horrific things done by human beings. And one of the things about knowing about things like Auschwitz is it lets us know that even though things in this country right now are relatively great in comparison to the this country right now are relatively great in comparison to the rest of the world relatively great in comparison to some parts of the world that are war-torn and terrible right now it could go bad it could go bad because that's what humans are capable of humans are capable when they're led by the wrong ideology when they're they're cult-minded when they're all in there they can do some terrible, awful things, and we need to know that. And it's one of the things about having something like Auschwitz in our history, that we know that that's possible.

Well, we know that you can convince people of anything. Yes. We know that. Yes, for sure. And like he said, if you tell a lie, if you make it big enough and tell it often enough, everybody will believe it. Well, if you just keep talking. One of the things that I think is really interesting about the Internet today is you're seeing groups of people that are connected to groups of people. And for sure this podcast is guilty of it in a certain way, although it's unintentional.

But there are people out there that are essentially running online cults. It's not hard to do. No, it's not online cults. It's not hard to do. No, it's not hard to do. It's not hard to do. People love a leader. We have an inherent desire to be a part of a tribe. Right. Because we're tribal.

But look, I have a goddamn American flag behind me. I mean, there's a reason for that. I love America. I really do. I love the idea of it, the idea of freedom, self-expression. That's right. This is one of the rare places on earth where you can come here with fuck all and really make something out of yourself. There's no caste system here.

And we celebrate people that are poor that make it to become huge. Look at all the entertainers and singers, rock and roll people. I believe that basically because, you know, basically I'm still like I always was. People think, oh, you're no longer a socialist. Well, I'm not going to call it socialism anymore. You know, I ran as a socialist candidate in 2012. What's changed? For the Peace and Freedom Party.

There was a Peace and Freedom Party? Yeah, in California. Who's opposing that? That's a good move. Call yourself the Peace and Freedom Party. No one's going to say I oppose peace and freedom. Well, it was the Party of the Black Panthers in San Francisco. Yeah.

Oh. peace and freedom well it was the party of the black panthers in san francisco yeah oh and so that was very important for me to run on there like uh with dick gregory he's the first comic that did it i loved it he was a he was a mentor to me and so i did it because dick gregory did it and i wanted to be worthy of talking to dick gregory and yes saying the right things and kind of glad he wasn't around i hope he wasn't around when they start calling me a racist. You know, he's the guy that brought the Kennedy assassination film to Geraldo Rivera. Yep. He brought the Zapruder film. I know.

To television. I mean, he's a very important guy. Remember when he was fat? He was fat for a little bit. Yeah. Then he became like a vegetarian, right? And then a fruitarian or something. Oh, yeah.

He started having like a Bahamian diet. His sons are good people and stay in touch a little bit. I said, I bet your dad's haunting you guys. I can't see him being quiet up there. They said things happen where they wonder if it isn't their dad. He's one of those guys that I really feel sad that I didn't get a chance to meet him. I fucked up. He had a mind like, wow, that was like two centuries.

Looking at him was going back centuries, you know, just the storehouse of information he had in his brain of history. The kind of history we never hear. Yes. And now I feel sorry for the kids in school these days because they don't hear any real history at all almost. Well, it's almost like there's too much information at their fingertips. That's true. Like there's a poverty of information

because there's an overwhelming amount of stuff that's coming their way, and it's hard for them to figure out what's important. Like I don't think that school is the way that most people learn correctly because I think it's too rigid and limiting. But one thing at least is school gives you a core set of – a base of knowledge that you need to learn. You need to learn some American history. You need to learn some world history.

You need to learn some science. I think having that core foundation of of information there's a lot of kids that are just really lacking that today if they're not paying attention in school they're just fucking off and they're you know googling things on the internet and they go in one ear and out the other after the test is over they don't remember any of it because they're not really interested i like that me too i'm i when i'm interested in things i retain them but when i don't give up my someone will say something to me, and if I don't care, it's gone. Like I couldn't for my life tell you what you just said 30 seconds ago.

Me either. I don't even remember what I said. But if someone says something that's really significant to me and it means a lot, I can remember it forever. Yeah, I mean, I can pull up. Like after this whole thing today, what I'll remember is he said he liked my hair. Roseanne, you know I love you. I love everything about you. Thank you so much.

Not just hair. I love you, too. Thank you. Look, first of all, you really could and should do a podcast, and we can definitely help you. I can connect you with people that will make it a plug-and-play thing where it's real easy. Yeah. Okay. Are you staying here now?

Are you in Hawaii? Well, that's the problem is I go back and forth because my kids make me come and babysit all the time. But that's not hard. You just get someone to set it up. My grandkids get the best pot, so I do it. What is the best pot these days? I'm kidding. There's so much pot.

It's like it's hard to say. I don't even know what bad pot is anymore. Well, now that it's being sold on every street cleaner out here it's like heaven the only issue is uh there's a guy named john norris and he was um he was working for the department of fish and game as a game warden and he started stumbling upon these illegal cartel grow ops and oh yeah i heard about that apparently some crazy number like between 80 and 90 percent of all the illegal marijuana that's sold in this country is coming from cartel grow-ups or similar illegal grow-ups where they use dangerous pesticides. Right, pesticides. So there's a movement right now for people to test marijuana.

a business doing this where they want to check marijuana plants and check your you know make sure inspect the stuff that people are growing to make sure there's no harmful chemicals or pesticides because they're using this stuff to keep animals away to keep bugs from eating the leaves and then you can smoke that stuff and it's toxic yeah because that's what they're saying about fentanyl you know yeah they're just bringing that in. And like the drug, the people that can't get their drugs anymore because it's too expensive, those prescription painkillers. Exactly. And fentanyl is way stronger. It's way smaller. And it kills people so bad.

A guy was telling me that cops where he works have to wear gloves when they're handling people that overdose. Oh, my God. Because they're literally getting it through the pores of the skin of the people that are overdosing. That's how potent this shit is. So if you grab some sweaty guy who's overdosing, and you're a cop, and you have bare hands, and that sweat gets in your hands, you literally can get fucked up from that fentanyl. Oh, my God. This is insane. So they're wearing special gloves.

What's it made out of? I don't know. It's just an incredibly potent opiate or lichen opiate. So it's made out of poppies? I don't know. It's just an incredibly potent opiate or lichen opiate. So it's made out of poppies? I don't know. I think it's completely synthetic. It is? I think it's completely synthetic.

And they're always releasing new and more potent versions of it. There's just a massive profit margin in making drugs that people like, whether they're illegal drugs or legal drugs. I mean, we make this big distinction about illegal or legal. The good thing about the legal ones is they don't come with violence. It doesn't come with cartels. But it's still, you're killing people. People are dying left and right from legal drugs, from an overuse, overprescribed amount of legal drugs.

And there's so many legal drugs that could fucking kill you dead. I think everything's just a crime syndicate and basically it's just a distribution channel which means roads and trucks yeah and like union you know it used to be unions but uh you know they probably don't really keep tabs on which comes in legal and which comes in illegal well maybe they do but they probably come on the same plane from Afghanistan. That's what they say. Come on, it's all like crime is a whole economy.

It's all fine. I don't think there's anything people do to live that could be wrong. I just think we could be really smart and organize it better, like we could create a whole new thing since we have all these computers and intelligence open to us and available to us. Plus the thinkers that know how to program those and programmers and all those people that know about zero and one and one. Just fucking invent something way better that helps people. And I know people have the brains to do that in about an hour.

If somebody, I'll be that leader, I mean, if that's called for. Somebody just has to tell them to do it, I think. I think people need to figure out a way to profit off helping people. That's where things would get good. The problem is everybody's profit incentive. I know, but fuck that. That's all going to go. There's not going to be any more money.

What do you mean? It's all gone. I just go. There's not going to be any more money. What do you mean? It's all gone. It's not. I just don't think there's going to be any more money. You know about this Google quantum computing shit? Yeah. This Google quantum computing thing, they think it's a huge threat to cryptocurrency. Yeah.

I don't. I'm too stupid to understand whether or not they're right. But I'm way too uninformed, too. But what they're trying to say is that there's no way you would be able to encode or encrypt this information that would keep it from this insane computing power that they're developing. Yeah, there is. There is? Yeah. There's a way to get around all of it. And I don't know why I'm like, I mean, I know I'm on the autism spectrum.

Yeah. And, you know, a lot of us autistic people, we just started talking to each other on the Internet quite a while ago about like, hey, let's try to envision solutions to everyday problems that actually people face and and that threaten them and see what we can come up with and so there's whole websites about it and i wish i had them but i i will post them after i do the fucking research so i can't get a goddamn assistant to do any goddamn research why can't you get an assistant? Who's that journalist lady she was asking about? Did you find her? Tiffany.

Tiffany? Who is it? She had just actually tweeted about Roseanne. Oh, shit. Well, she's my friend. Oh, okay. That makes sense. I was like, that is crazy. I thought it was crazy for a second.

I was like, that's my girlfriend. No, we've been friends for a number of years. Where does Tiffany live? She lives down there in the south in, well, I don't know if she wants me to say. Well, don't say. It's one of those states down in the south. Oh, she might. She's all over the internet.

She writes some good shit like, did you see her story on George Clooney? No. I don't know anything about her. And that billion dollar tequila he was selling with Randy Gerber, they got it added up to being worth $1 billion by that company that owns the most liquor stores in the world and roads and trucks and blah, blah.

You know, their distribution channel is a good one. A billion dollars and the stuff they make tequila with well you'll have to read the article it's for people who fancied themselves progressive and then when their um eyes beheld what the left actually does with its invested money their their eyes bug out. What is he doing with this tequila money? Well, it's not what he's doing with it. It's how they valued it. It's like it just shows you how corrupt everything is. Everything is totally a fucking scam.

I'm confused because it's just like a successful tequila business, right? Is there something wrong with the way they're doing it? In some ways, some people are saying that the the recipe it's grown in families for generations right and it's to their it's like a walmart kind of deal to their demise you know the the products they use to produce the tequilas so they're like getting waylaid like in a walmart shop and cart called george clooney's company and these families who have lived for generations are getting the screwed end deals like they do when walmart comes in the community okay i see what you're saying so so people who are progressive they need to know where all that one-worldy crap goes I don't think they know

So what you're saying is that he is basically profiting off of the hard work of these people that are remaining poor And they're buying their formula and then using that formula to make that tequila And they're growing everything but they're making all the profit Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think it's about agave, which is a resource. Right. And I think it's about growing that and the native people owning it rather than it being bought out from under them.

So, yeah, it's a whole one-world issue. Ron White's got a great tequila company. Yeah. You know Ron? I don't know him. You don't know him? No, but I love that he smokes a cigar. He's awesome.

Is he? I love him like I love you. Really? He's a cool guy? I don't know him. You don't know him? No, but I love that he smokes a cigar. He's awesome. Is he? I love him like I love you. Really? He's a cool guy? I think he's funny. Salt of the earth. Oh, good for him. He's amazing.

I love him. But he's got number one tequila. He sells his own tequila. It's really good. Isn't it weird when you really get connected and understand that everything's connected, everything else. A lot of things are connected. Yeah.

For sure. So I just, I'm kind of a, I know I'm a weirdo. I know I'm different than other people. Right. You know? Thank God. I don't know why. I always tried to be normal, and it just never worked.

Nobody as funny as you is ever going to be normal i guess not thank you so much yeah i at one time thought that but it's quite a lesson to get public censored yeah and uh and it still goes on and is that show still on the air without you yeah how's it doing oh i don't know i don't you don't pay attention uh well i kind of do now but i don't know i mean not really i don't but uh i don't know some people called me and told me to look for something so i did yeah yeah um you could do a podcast very easily and i I think if you did, it would be awesome. It would be awesome because you know what? After they kicked me off TV and said I was a threat to America and everything.

They called you a threat to America? Well, something like that. A threat to Hollywood. Everything's a threat to Hollywood right now. Isn't it? Hollywood seems to be crumbling at the foundations. Isn't it great? It's horrible, too.

It's great. Well, I love movies, so I'm bummed out. But the movies all suck. Well, I heard Avatar is coming out. Avatar 2. I'm very excited about that. Avatar. I never saw that.

John Wick 3 was pretty fucking awesome. That's my favorite. John Wick is my favorite. I love that movie. I saw it. I went with my two sons and we saw it. It was awesome. I was just at Taron Tactical today where they trained John Wick.

We were doing the pistol course. Shit, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keanu Reeves trained John Wick. They trained Keanu Reeves. There's pictures of him there, yeah, training. I've seen videos of him training there, too. It's really cool.

How cool is he? He's a really sweet guy. He just seems like the nicest guy of all time. He just seems like so down to earth and normal, like almost too normal, you know? That's why he can play John Wick. Oh, yeah, you totally buy it. I love how he does it without any emotion. Yeah.

Like my boyfriend said he'd rather die and be tortured to death than to watch anything hollywood makes he hasn't seen a movie in years watch john wick i told him that because he's a he's a like animal activist and all that he's real that guy right he's real like fucker lied to me he voted for jill steiner. He lied to me and told me he was voting for Trump. And now it says that that fucker lied. But anyway. Does he eat meat? No.

No meat at all? Mm-mm. Chicken? He eats a little fish. A little fish? But I said, you would love John Wick, I'm telling you. I go, he kills everyone because they killed his dog. And that's the greatest line of all time.

You killed my dog. I like that. That was so fucking cool. And he goes, what? I could almost get into that. I go, yeah. He whips their fucking heads off and shits down their throat. Yeah.

And lights a fucking match and throws it on the car i love it i want to be in a movie like that yeah tiffany mcfitz henry she's a screenwriter and writes uh you know movies like that with her partner and i'm like can't you make a killer granny script for me because i want to have the gun you know like death wish with roseanne yes right why not death wish yes the jewish version i come in there yes listen here young man whoa i'm already scared whoa what's this that was my grandma that's my grandma that curse face oh whoa that's your father my grandma she didn't like my dad oh no he didn't like her neither really he said he used to say hey call your grandma up in the winter he said go call your bubby up and tell her to come to the house and visit you kids and tell her to walk down

the side where the icicles are so i can crawl out on the roof and and freaking hammer it and it will fall down and pierce through her brain whoa you heard this kind of shit when you were a kid yeah it was all about that the whole thing this is your dad who was hilarious so hilarious what was wrong with your grandma that he was so upset at her? This is so I'm assuming that was his wife's mom. Yeah, his wife's mom. Oh, she was a bitch. There was no bitch bigger than her. Big bubby bitch.

Boss. Boss bitch? Yeah, big boss bitch. She owned her own apartment house, had 12 units. She controlled everyone's lives who lived within there. Whoa. Nobody would dare bark you know i like ladies like that when i don't have to be under their thumb yeah you know if i like just know

them i think it's fun she got a guy under her thumb this was i want to write this as to a movie i'll make it brief one of her tenants was a guy that wore a golf shirt. She'd never seen that before. She's seen like one-legged fuckers in an army fatigued, you know, in America. Because this was in the ghetto where she had her apartment house. And right by the bus station there. That's where I grew up. But, you know. The guy under the thumb oh yeah so so he's

wearing these golf shirts she's like tyler well she had a thick lithuanian accent tyler was a i can't do accents in golf shirts he's going to golfing it's a classy guy, you know. Classy, classy kind of guy. Classy customer. So he made the mistake of thinking she was a warm person, as many people make that mistake with all Jewish women, thinking they're warm and loving people. She wasn't. Well, she was, but there was a dark side there too

Dun dun dun Yeah So he tells her That he's a fugitive Uh oh And that was her favorite show at the time The Fugitive The one with the guy

Had one leg or something Yeah One arm One arm Right The Fugitive That was her show That's what she said

So he told her He told her he was a fugitive So did she turn him into the cops Nope She moved him underneath her apartment Oh under a thumb I mean she was under That was our show. That's what she said. So he told her. He told her he was a fugitive. So did she turn him into the cops? Nope. She moved him underneath her apartment. Oh, under a thumb. I mean, she was under. And she put him above.

And she hooked up a bell on a rope that went into his kitchen and her bed. And if she goes ding, ding, ding, he had to come running. And give her a fucking? No, no. She was a Jewish woman. Are you kidding? No. Take out my garbage cans to the street.

I was hoping it was a positive ending. Oh, it was all labor issues. Time for you to cut the grass. I need you to go fix the toilet, number eight. Well, once she finds out he's a fugitive, he's fucked. Yeah. Yeah. So she goes.

So anyway, us kids was there. He falls in love with my mother, who looked like Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah. So she goes. So anyway, us kids was there. He falls in love with my mother who looked like Elizabeth Taylor. And so my mom, you know, he's thinking that, oh, her daughter, she'll help me out. She's working me to death, this old bag. So my mom being that way too, she gets in on it. I need you to come over and cut my grass. And pretty soon his job was to sit at our dinner table between her and my dad and go, Helen, this is the most delicious roast

I've ever tasted in my life. That was his job? Yeah. And my dad just sitting here like, yeah, it's good. She's like, make my husband jealous, too. So it became psycho. And it goes on and on. Whoa. I was 12. But at the end of that summer, he turned himself in. Couldn't do it anymore.

It was worse being into her prison. Yeah, the two of them. Oh, my God. Then they got in a family fight and tore at each other's hair over this guy. Whoa. That was my upbringing. Good times. Everything's funnier in hell.

Your mom looked like Elizabeth Taylor? Yeah. She had a waist. God damn it, I wished I had a waist. I got my dad's body. He was a football player, and they called him Jerry Barr, the boy built like a barrel. Because he had a barrel body. I totally got it.

And so I thought when I was in Hollywood, I would get like a girl body with some ass cheeks and a waist. So I'm still trying to work on that. Well, you mean like surgery wise? Don't do that. Yeah, like the Kardashian family. God, I idolized them. They're out here, you know. They are out here.

Have you seen them? Yes yeah you've seen them yes i've seen them have you ever looked at their ass right not up not uptight pull that microphone i have oh i'm sorry that's probably with no headphones we forget i'm sorry yeah yeah i've seen their ass firsthand in beverly hills did you enjoy it i was i was through I never saw anything so incredible in my life. It was like the eighth wonder of the world. It was completely up. There was no sag whatsoever. Right. And I'm like, see, I just had like a crack in my back.

I never had it. I was assless in an ass-based economy. And that was my whole problem. And I was like, my dad would be like you're never gonna get in my parents both you're never gonna get a husband because you're too fat and you have you know you you have no ass you have no waist you need to work out you know whatever and you have a big mouth and no guy will ever like that obviously he was wrong well i proved i'm wrong threeholes. I got a good one now. You got a good one?

A good man. That's good for you. 18 years. Beautiful. He made it. That's awesome. That's a long time. I don't know how he did it. He hung in there.

He's like, God damn. So ever since you went on that one antidepressant, things have been a lot nicer around here. What was the one you went on? Cymbalta. Is that the newest one? No. Yeah. I've been on it for four years.

You know, with this whole thing, I realized I go on too much. I talk too much, like all old women. No, you don't talk too much. The problem is not the talking. The problem is the people reacting to your talking. I like to see people get lit. Yeah. It makes them go, woo, my ass itches.

No, I think it goes like this. Shit, uh-oh, something was off program. I'm unraveling like the Wicked Witch. Off program. Oh, a bit of water got on you. It's off program. Right. Yeah, eat it.

The problem is not what you're saying. It isn't? No. It's how I say it? The problem is people reacting to you That's the problem But I'm supposed to get a reaction Yeah, but they're fools

The ones who are freaking out and canceling this and firing that They're just fools They don't understand you It makes me think of that song which, you know, I said, fuck it I don't care about it no more I'm going to become the rock star that I've always wanted to be And I'm going to sing that song And here's a song I'm not going to sing that song. And here's a song.

I'm not going to sing it right now, but this was the song that refers to all that. I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood. Because life has its problems. Yeah, that's a great quote. And I've got my share. That's a great quote.

Isn't it? That was great words. It's a great song. Eric Burden, what a great quote Isn't it? That was great words Eric Burden What a great artist You know we talked about On the last podcast I think was really important That people understand

You know I've been a fan Of yours forever And I know your story So nice And I know What happened to you When you were a little girl When you got hit by a car

And you were in a Mental institution For nine months afterwards And how it completely Affected the way you think And behave And I don't think People knew that.

And it was a really important thing for me to talk about during the last podcast. One of the reasons why I wanted to get you in as quick as we could. I was like, people need to understand what's happening here. What's happening there was a genius comic who's also on Ambien, smoking pot, drinking. Symbalta. And has legitimate brain injury. I do. Yes. And I have mental health

issues. I think a lot of that is from not just genetics, but your brain injury. Well, I... The problem is people reacting to you. They're reacting to you like you're calling for people to be assassinated or murdered or

you're yelling racial slurs in the streets. You're not doing any of those things you're not that person the reaction was so overblown and then abc got so wacky and and canceled you it was so foolish so foolhardy and to try to change who you were the reason why the goddamn show was successful was because of who you were and the fact that other people on the show didn't have your political ideology and you would argue with them and fight with them and it's like real life conflict like people know in their own homes that relatable aspect of your show was why it was number one so quickly and why the old show was so great you're that's you and they tried to mold you to these woke times and foolishly reacted to the way you were talking as if you were doing something that was like they changed what you were doing and made it this horrific, terrible thing.

It's just not accurate. Well, it's all because I said that I like Trump. As soon as they heard that, you know, a lot of cabals here in Hollywood,wood that's all they needed to hear it's like okay destroy she must be destroyed and i did hear people say um oh my god i'm afraid she's gonna try to humanize trump yes the network they said that yes people think that and it's like what you mean trump voters is that who you're afraid is going to get humanized? It's half the fucking country. I know. It's like such an elitist, out-of-touch view of humans. It's always offended me. It always offended me that they didn't like their audience. And I liked the audience because I thought I'm from there and they're familiar to me. And I I vowed to myself I'm not going to disrespect

the audience yeah and I never did and I never did sell out neither so everybody you know there will come a day I believe when uh you know uh no there won't who knows what the fuck will happen who knows nothing who knows what the fuck's happen? Who knows? Nothing can happen. Who knows what the fuck's going to happen? Inside my own head, though, I guess I've made peace with it. It was like the worst horrible thing I've ever gone through. My friend Tiffany, she says that this might be the beginning of the valuing of an artist rather than the devaluing. Because it was the lowest point of ever devaluing an artist and an artist's work she says so maybe now it's turned around and and the artist will be you know better

respected for what they bring i hope so because i mean they were even pulling your old show off of things yeah which is just fucking ridiculous that's kind of what killed the comedy thing for me is that I was also told that one more, one more, me getting in trouble one more time, I wouldn't have my reruns anymore. And I live on that, you know. Jesus Christ. So that's kind of what killed the stand-up comedy. So that killed the idea of you going out and doing stand-up again. Yeah, because I asked for it to be defined.

I said, could I have a definition of what offensive means to you? Right. And they said, you know what it means. Oh, Jesus. I said, could you discuss it with my lawyers? No, you know what it means. What does it mean? I don't know.

This is the problem. It could mean you fart or something sometime. I mean, these people that think people are rude are the rudest fucking assholes on earth they're the most insensitive the people that think they're so sensitive they're inside yeah do you think they think they're doing the right thing i do too i think because i don't think they ever get to hear anybody like me say you're not doing the right thing well we live in an echo chamber a bit we live in an echo chamber i know that's think it through a bit. We live in an echo chamber. I know. That's why I accepted us to go. You guys think things through a little bit more. I'm not condemning anybody.

I'm not that kind of person. I think we need more conversations. Absolutely. And we need more. We just had the best dinner parties until all these self-righteous fucking progressives ruined that. Starting with my own family on Passover when when we were celebrating the jews leaving fucking egypt and i had this horrible uh cousin i can't even remember his name and he goes well maybe and he had long hair well maybe we should shouldn't be celebrating the death of all the egyptians

like well that's what the story's about and then we'd have like fist fight breakout you know and i'd always be the one going can we just get back to the story we just get back to the story always someone looking to be offended by some aspect of any story i'm offended every fucking day of my fucking life for how goddamn stupid people are goddamn they can't be more offensive to me right now than ever has been before. I'm about ready to get out there and tell people what in the fuck.

Like, that has hit me many times in my life. There's been times I got out of my car to chase after a mother or two the way I seen her treating her kid. I do it. I'm boots on the ground. I'm not no i i'm not uh i'm not a trifling sort trifling is a strong word for a white person he is i've only said that it's like it's a next door neighbor

to the n-word like trifling no it's not jews use it we use it trifling but it's like it seems when a guy uses it that's a white guy, it's like, I don't know. I think a woman can get away with it better than a guy can. When I grew up, we lived right next door to African Americans. You know, we lived down where everybody lived together. You know, there wasn't any, nobody had got to the suburbs yet. Got it. We lived mid city.

And we had all kind of people down there at the bus station where we lived. Trifling is just a great word It is a good word It should come back But it's just white people using it It always sounds awkward Does it? But I think women I'm not trifling

Women can pull it off It's like silly But it's such a good word It's a great word I mean what else would you say? Yeah Wallowing in filth Maybe that's

Trifling Isn't that what it means? Trifling ass Does it mean wallowing in filth? I think it more means like you're a fool You're like a moron Living a stupid fucking petty life, right? It's unimportant or trivial

Trivial, yeah Trivial, that's the word Perfect Trivial I call that wallowing in filth Or pandering So much better than trivial And pandering too

I love that word Pandering is common amongst cowards there's a lot of cowards a lot of cowards today yeah they are they're cowards but you can't blame them because because you know they got drug debts and shit well it's also people don't want to be attacked no they don't and they have every right to be that way i mean i am like this is just before the Jewish holidays in New Yom Kippur where I have to repent. Anyway. What are you repenting for? All the bad shit I did this last year that I enjoyed.

I don't repent for the shit I had to do. Right. But the stuff I did because I enjoyed seeing somebody squirm. What did you do that you enjoyed seeing somebody squirm? Oh, I had to have— Don't say anything that's going to get your reruns canceled. I just had to have the last word in personal—you know, all over the place. Yeah, that kind of shit.

And in the larger world. So I'm just trying to be a forgiving person, and so I'll be forgiven. And I do ask to be forgiven by apologizing. I am sorry that I made even one embarrassing day for anyone who gave me the chance to come on TV and make a number one show. And to all those who I embarrassed, I am very sorry. And I think that I owe that. And I feel it. And I am sorry for, you know, allowing myself to become unwell mentally because I worked so hard I didn't look out for myself. I didn't take the vitamins.

I didn't take the vitamins. I didn't take the shots. We talked about that, too, and your difficulty sleeping and then taking sleeping aids. I've been so rough ambient since that happened. Fantastic. That's excellent news. Now I take melatonin. Oh, melatonin. Melatonin.

Melatonin. Melatonin. Yeah, from the drugstore. That's really good. That's really good advice. I mean, really good news. I'm very happy to hear that. That scares the shit out of me.

I haven't done any weird things. I mean, that tweet was just one of them. Oh, yeah. No, I know. I follow you on Twitter. I would see the tweet storm and be like, Roseanne's on one. Oh, yeah. Roseanne's on.

My daughter goes, you've got to stop with these ambient tweets, mother, before you lose everything for us. Whoa. That's hard for us. Whoa. You little bitch. Whoa. That's harsh. Don't worry.

I'll get even. I get when my grandsons, I'm like, hey, you guys, let's go get high. I think this now, and I thought this then, you just need an advocate who understands you. That's all you needed. You needed it back then and you know i needed not to be totally drained of vitamin b12 because the side effect is psychosis that's a good thing so i i believe that i was in a psychosis because the doctor goes you have okay good news i go to this

guy uh what is it cedarinai Good news You have no vitamin You let it go too long Because you know When I'm in Hawaii I don't keep up With my infusions Vitamins I have to take Do you take IV infusions?

Yeah Yeah How often do you do that? I take them about Every three months Because I can't Process iron Because of your stomach

Operation? Yeah Because of that Fucking operation Yeah Oh well I'm glad I got it Or I'd weigh 902 pounds right now. Yeah, those stomach operations, they mess with your body's ability to absorb nutrients, right?

Yeah, I can't absorb nothing. Is that the old way they used to do it? Like, do they have it better now? Yeah. I think they have it better now. Yeah. Now they just do a lap band. Right, right, right.

It's not as simple. You'll have to ask Jennifer Hudson. Jennifer Hudson. But I had the old one. I don't know if she got it. They shrink your stomach, right? They'll have to ask Jennifer Hudson. But I had the old one. I don't know if she got it. They shrink your stomach, right? They cut it and make it smaller. I heard Beyonce got one, too.

Did you hear that? She's never been fat. Well, I wouldn't. Is that what you heard? I heard all the stuff of who got what. Well, he's got a perfect body. I can't imagine. I know.

She's gorgeous. But I heard she had a, what do they call it? The lap band. I bet someone's hating. That's what I bet. I bet someone's hating. I bet she never had anything. No, she's so perfect.

I put it all on the table. I put it all on the table that someone's hating. That lady was never overweight. Why would you be? If you were in great physical condition like she's always been, she dances, she does so much physical stuff that if she got a lap band, it would fuck with her body. That's what I think, too. I don't think you can get that. I don't believe it, but they are saying that.

Who's the other one they said? Who are these people that are called they? Oh, the lap band community. That lady's always had a perfect body. She is so perfect. What about the voice? What's that song? Oh, her voice is incredible.

God. But the dancing, that song, if you like it, then you better put a ring on it. Remember that with all those girls dancing? Her body's insane. It's always been insane. Her voice, she's got a lot of good breath. She's got superior genetics. Yes, she does.

Oh, my God. She's so pretty, too. She certainly does. But there's no way she has a lap band. All my money. Push her in. Oh, yeah, okay she has a lap band. All my money. Push it in. Oh, yeah, okay. Fuck you, haters.

Thank you. Okay, I have to agree. You've won this one. I just don't think she would. Why would she ever get that operation? If she was really big and then she got small, that's when people get suspicious. But she was never big. Well, she was big when she was pregnant.

Fucking son. She was pregnant. Yeah, but a lot of people get big when they get pregnant. They shrink back down. What's her name? The really hot blonde lady with the large tatas. Jessica Simpson. She just lost 100 pounds.

She did? Yeah. She got pregnant, had a baby, got real big, got up to 240. Woo! That's a big woman. I was 240. Woo! Oh, yeah.

You can do some damage at 240. Oh, you can fuck people up But now she's 140 Good for her Yeah good for her She lost 100 pounds Good for her I think she had another baby

Yeah she did I think she just Diet and exercise You know did it right No lap time God damn I hate hearing that lie That's counterint What is it?

What? Artificial intelligence You just need the right people around you, Roseanne God damn it That's all it is All I have is wild cats and Johnny Well, you got me I'm around

Johnny talks to cats Does he? And he not only talks to them He knows what they're saying Do you go that far? No, I don't think I know what my cat's saying Johnny does Yeah? he knows what they're saying. Do you go that far? No, I don't think I know what my cat's saying. Johnny does. He knows what they're saying.

I think my cat's saying, pet me. Come on, bro. Give me a massage. Johnny goes like this. She's saying, hi, Roseanne. Will you come and pet me, please? And give me some fish? That's probably pretty accurate.

I go, no, she's not. That's you. That's not the cat. She's probably thinking that. I'd like to get pet's not. That's you. That's not the cat. She's probably thinking that. I'd like to get pet and have some fish. Yeah. I think most cats think that. They're pretty simple creatures.

I think they think, leave me the F alone. There's a little bit of that. Yeah. You ever see a kitten stalk like a bird? Yes. It's crazy. Yeah. They know right from the beginning.

They certainly do. It's that intelligence. It's DNA. They know to creep up real slow. It's the real intelligence. I was watching a kitten. It's not something you get when you watch TV. It's like the real intelligence.

Right. You've got to be out there. Well, they're a long line of murderers. Yeah. Cats? No. Oh, I meant us. Oh, us.

Yeah, you've got to be out there. You've got to move around. You can't be confined. Human beings are products of experience, and I think we need a lot of experiences. I think we need experiences all the time. I think you need to travel. You need to talk to different people. You need to try different things.

It's one of the reasons why I wanted to go to this gun range today. I mean, I've shot guns before, but I don't really know how to do it right. Oh, you don't? No, I'm not really. See, that's what made Owen Benjamin mad at me because I called him a name. I shouldn't have used that word because he's doing all that farming stuff. Well, I'm doing the farming too, and I have farm vehicles, okay? And he does not have that or any rifles or anything.

So I kind of called him a puss bag. But he thinks I made it. Come up to the microphone. He thinks I maybe meant mentioned for other reasons but no it's just like man if you're gonna go do this you got to get yourself uh you know one of these four-wheel drive here's like i got with the rifle and you have to have that if you're gonna do the job yeah why do you need a rifle when you're farming well for for for killing wild pigs i told you i got nothing but wild pigs over there.

Well, you're in Hawaii. Yeah. For sure. You'd need that. My friend Shane started hunting because he was farming and the wild pigs would destroy all of his vegetables.

Yeah, they do. Some of these fuckers are like Volkswagens. Oh, they're crazy. Yeah. It is crazy. And they don't have no limits. I mean, they're like politicians,

I've noticed. They don't have any limit. They want not only what they got, but politicians, I've noticed. They don't have any limit. Like, they want not only what they got, but what you got, too. They don't stop. You put barriers up to them, and they keep pushing them down, going under, around. Pigs are designed to survive. I mean, they're ruthless in terms of their ability to survive. They have many litters a year.

Yeah, they sure do. And in each litter, they have multiple piglets Right And they can get pregnant as early and start breeding at six months I know So six months in, they're having their own babies And then six months later their baby's having babies That's exactly right

There are millions and millions of them in this country We were taking out, what was it, 30 pigs a month But they're great eating Oh, I don't eat pigs You don't eat pigs? I don't eat animals either You don't eat any animals? Too much, unless they're great eating oh i don't eat pigs i don't i don't eat i i i don't eat animals either you don't eat too much unless they're really cute how come then i'll eat them how come you don't eat animals if they're cute enough i'll eat them oh it's a cute thing no i i don't know because i'm old and you know meat just sits there for a while so is it because of the stomach

operation as well yeah i do better just when ralphie may had that operation he had the same sort of operation he couldn't eat meat anymore it was crazy because ralphie was an amazing cook and ralphie would invite us over for barbecues and he couldn't eat it he had to eat vegetables like it wouldn't sit with him it really fucked with his stomach so he would make these incredible ribs and brisket and everything like that. We would all eat it, and Ralphie couldn't eat it. It was crazy, but he loved to cook. Yeah, it sucked. Yeah, I wrote a part for him in a show.

He was a sweet guy. He was, wasn't he? He suffered. He just had a demon. He had a fucking terrible demon. Is it a comedy demon or a drug or alcohol demon, or is it all the same demon? His is a food demon. Food demon, yeah.

I mean, people have demons. Everybody's got their own little weird thing. What the same demon? His is a food demon. You know what I mean? People have demons. Like everybody's got their own little weird thing. What's your demon? It's probably anger. Yeah, me too. Violence. I mean, I grew up involved in violence and martial arts and stuff when I was really little.

I think I developed that way. And I got good at figuring out how to channel that and then when you stop doing that the difficulty for a lot of people is figuring out how to turn it off you know that's that's that's the the demon and i think uh that's the whole thing right now it's like being able to control your temper when your buttons are pushed but it's the hardest thing in the world way way, way, way, way, way, way, way better at it. Way better at it. Yeah, I do too.

But it's like everything else. Like if you learn comedy in the beginning when you're an open mic or you're terrible, but then you're 20 years in, you're a master, right? You know how to kill. That's the same thing with being a person. I got better at being a person. Me too. You just got to understand your own mind better.

I started meditating. I spent a lot of time in the isolation tank. I do a lot of yoga. I smoke a lot of time in the isolation tank. I do a lot of yoga. I smoke a lot of weed. I mean, all those things are good. Weed makes, I don't know what it does to other people, but for me, it makes me nice. It makes me really friendly. I want to hug people.

Me too. I want good things to happen to them. It gives me a sense of community. Like, it really means, that's what it means to me. It opens some kind of channel in my head to where the big we comes in. The big we. Us all together. Yeah.

Community. Community, yeah. It's not a drug that is an isolation drug. Like a drug that makes you want to, like, this is all for me. I'm the one. I'm the fucking man. It's like the opposite. It makes you humble.

I mean, that's part of what people call paranoia. The paranoia that you get from weed. I think it's an understanding of your place in the universe that you're kind of denying. Most people are denying because they're so self-focused. They're focused on their own life and their own objectives and what they're trying to accomplish and how they want other people to look at them. And then you smoke the pot and you're like, oh, my God, this is crazy. We're on a ball.

It's hurling through infinity. There's a giant fireball in the sky. Like, oh, this is nuts. And you live for a certain amount of time and nobody really figures out why they're here you're all just scrambling trying to find meaning and then it's over yeah and then what happens then you come back as a baby and try all over again that's what some people believe some people believe you go to another dimension you know some people believe that you know you live the exact same life over and over and over and over again until you get it right yeah i know i've heard all those i'm trying to get it right i would love that i would love that this be the one that i

figure out like maybe i've lived a million of these lives and this life even though i still fuck up all the time i'd love for this one to be the life that i do my best in well it's not gonna be i'm sorry to let you know it's not gonna happen what did i do wrong because you didn't do nothing wrong it's not that you can't say you did anything wrong uh it's how do you know you're on your journey uh but how do you know that this isn't like the best version of it maybe i could do better next time around but this this time i'd like to do my best i'd like to do better than the last time if that's a real thing like if that's the way to look at life that you are living this exact same existence over and over and over again. That's what deja vu is.

That's what all these intuitions that you have, all these feelings that you have. When you meet someone, you know that person is supposed to be in your life. You know this guy is a great friend and you're just meeting them. You have weird feelings like that. The universe sort of tells you certain things about certain people. If you're really paying attention and you're really honest and objective. We all have fragments of memory yes that come and go yeah sometimes we're bombarded by it cat knows how to chase after that squirrel the cat knows there's something in that cat's dna

we have that too we just have it in different ways we have it for our ability to understand when people are deceptive we have for our ability to avoid insects and spiders and snakes and certain things that we know are dangerous. That's what I believe people have when people have arachnophobia, when they have an unnatural fear of spiders. They probably have some distant memory in their DNA of either someone they know dying or themselves almost dying or maybe them even dying. Who knows? But it might be a fragment of – I think about this and talk about it all the time with friends, you know. It might be a fragment of a memory of when you were an iguana. Ooh.

Right. Because we're always going to go back to the connection. You know, that's our root. I watched a video. Our root chakra is an amoeba, a single cell organism. Right. It's in our body. And it just replicated a lot.

So each one of those things have the same kind of makeup that intelligence moves. Well, you're a collection of things, right? Yeah. We're not just all of our cells and all of our DNA, but we also have this weird bacteria floating around in our body that's keeping us alive and keeping us healthy. And some people say that bacteria is telling us a story. Like, yeah, I know, it's a big one. Because, like, okay, maybe the loop that goes through your mind, which maybe this has something to do with me being on Ambien

and being in a psychotic state when I tweeted. Maybe it was just something, something was playing that didn't make all that much sense, but it made sense at the time. When you're taking all that stuff, you're taking all that stuff orally, right? And all that stuff is getting broken down in your gut. It's fucking with your personality.

It fucks with everything. They say that your gut, your microbiome actually affects your personality. Right, because it's giving you the thought. It's informing your thoughts. Also, sometimes people are inflamed and irritated, and that changes their personality. And to have a healthy body or a healthy microbiome and just a healthy system, it affects your personality in pretty profound ways. Well, they say if you're really healthy, you're in a good mood all the time.

That's a good way of looking at it. Isn it's true though i'm always striving for that because you know i i'm in sometimes i'm in a good mood i'd say most of the time i'm in a good mood these days but uh i don't ever want to fuck with the bad mood but you know when you got bipolar i'm bipolar amongst a million other fucking things what does that mean i got more mental illness than your average bear remember yogi the bear i do remember you got more mental illness and you can shake a stick at it's hard to live with it what like what does bipolar exactly mean uh well we use we used to call it moody moody yeah swingingody? Yeah. Swinging.

Manic states, right? You swing up and down. Yeah, one minute you're this and the next minute you're that. But even more protracted is like, well, you're in a good mood for months and then it's that. You know what they say, that straw that broke the camel's back? That's kind of clue one that you might be bipolar. that's kind of clue one that you might be bipolar. I guess when the camel breaks and you just let it all rip because you can't control it anymore.

And things you didn't even think you were holding back come out. You know, you don't have the right way of processing emotion, you know. And it's such extremes. And then you follow the extremes through with action, like going someplace and, you know, then having to go some other place. It's terrifying. Mental illness is really terrifying. I think maybe this whole thing is going to move me to start talking more honestly about it. Because I think of all the conversations in America, that's the most needed.

It's a very important conversation. And it's also very important that we have empathy towards people with mental health because we have empathy towards people with other ailments. If someone has liver cancer, we don't go, oh, fix your liver, you fucking idiot. Why are you out here getting sick? But if you have mental issues, it affects the way you communicate with people, and we think it's your fault. If you have a bad knee, no one says, why can't you run up the hill you fucking moron yeah but but if you

have something wrong with your brain we just assume it's your fault it's a it's a real bad thing it's a bad habit that people have particularly people that don't have mental illness i know they're they're such bullies well they don't understand that it could happen to you it could happen to anybody i mean but that but the bullying the mentally ill is so much a part of what's going on in our culture right now. Abandoning them and just in the streets. Well, that's a giant problem that we have here in America. I know. Cher actually brought it up.

She was talking about them talking talking about immigration discussing immigration he goes that's fine and good but we have 60,000 mentally ill homeless people wandering through the streets of Los Angeles alone 60,000 I mean that's a good size small town and it's filled filled with drug addicts and people with psychotic breaks and all sorts of other mental illness yes Well, they have mental illness. Yes. I met a kid the other day. I always talk to the mentally ill because, you know, it's partly that they're so, oh, I forget the word.

Louie uses it, you know. Well, they're so disenfranchised and ignored and they become invisible. And then they retreat totally into their psychosis, you know. Yes. And so they can't be reached so right you always do them a favor just to make eye contact and say have a nice day or hello you're doing them a big healing favor but i met this kid he was about 20 and his eyes all black that white of his eye and i'm like what happened your eye goes i got it tattooed i go how did you possibly sit and let them put tattoo needle in the wide of your eye 950,000 times?

And he goes, because I have a deep fear of anything going in my eye. I've always had that fear. And so this was my way to overcome it. I go, dude. That's a rough one. People, when did they start tattooing their eyeballs when you're really obsessive compulsive but i mean like and you're trying to get over one fear by you know running through the fear and making it happen to you and a lot of us do that you know i guess maybe

in my psychos i might have had a fear of you know being I had a fear of, you know, being a symbol of so much to so many. I think it crumbled me. They kept saying that. They kept trying to make me be a symbol of something. Yeah. And I guess I am. If anything, I just want to be a symbol for, you know, good jokes.

There shouldn't be no censorship on good jokes. Do you think that the pressure of fame and of stardom and stuff contributes to this feeling that you worry about the role that you have? You know, you worry about people being upset at you. You worry about it and almost like it comes out from that uh-oh can i fuck yeah marijuana i'm celebrating sober october rosanne so i can't for you can i have yours sure okay you want some weed i got a lot you want to drag plenty of weed here here it's good jamie's not celebrating sober october three years in a row. I know. You always have me on in October. Fuck that. He says, fuck that.

I'm Marisol. I like it. I think it's good. It's good to cleanse out the old pipes every now and again. I was sober for almost a year off pot. Yeah? Until recently, one drag is good. One drag is good. That's the right amount.

It elevates you a little bit. It gives you a little lift. But I tied one on the day before sober october with sturgill simpson and i i don't remember even what we were talking about while we were talking it's just so fun to talk and exchange ideas and feel that nobody's hanging over you to send you to fucking prison yes what the fuck is that that can't happen here i'm not gonna let we can't let that happen we can let that happen, but that's a natural course of progression, right? Well, we're going to have to confront Google and YouTube, obviously.

And I think they are getting confronted. I think they're getting confronted. I think everybody's getting it. Don't you? I think a lot of people are getting confronted about those kind of things. And they need to hear me or you and thousands of us, frankly, say guys bring it back little come on bring it back to the middle well where it makes common sense where it makes common sense yeah because this ain't no sense to this i think when trump got elected a lot of people use that as an excuse like that it was

like a green light for them to enforce their own ideology they're like look this is a bad thing we're deeply distraught like one of the ce of Google, one of the main executives of Google was talking about that recently, about how distraught they were at the election and what a terrible result it was. And they were looking at their own role in elections because that is a thing that social media has now. Right. People that openly discuss and support a candidate or deny a candidate. And this is what Tulsi Gabbard's suing for, is that they denied her YouTube searches. They did something to censor her ability to get her message out. Well, I think that people, what they're doing is they're digging and they're going back to who's funding who.

Right. And I kind of support that because I don't think that I want to give my money to anybody who takes money from terrorists. Yes. Why would I want to pay for somebody to kill me? Of course. I mean, Americans don't want that. Yeah. That don't make no common sense. No, that doesn't make any sense.

Why are they putting waste next to schools? Why are companies burying waste next to public schools? Because they can get away with it. Where's the public? Yeah. How come the public is factored out of all public life, including where the tables where public money is apportioned? There's not one public there that's why i ran because i want to be a john q public i'll be that guy who is putting um waste next to schools

look it up yeah look it up in new york in new york yeah everybody gets a payoff joe don't act like you're so fucking like school yard everybody's getting a fucking payoff to fucking do whatever the hell they can get away with doing and they're not getting in trouble for it they're unpunished unindicted they're fucking look at it and what is this what what but everybody said you know i don't know anymore it's, how come they're getting away with this shit? Why are they getting away with lying? Any of them. Who's getting away with lying?

All of them. Who's them? The whole fucking world. The whole world's lying? The whole fucking thing. It's a lie. It's a lie pieced together with fucking bullshit. It don't make any sense because it's not supposed to make sense it's senseless and stupid well it's all people that's part of

the problem is that human beings are seriously fucking flawed and there's nothing but human beings in the world of humans it's all flawed people running around trying to make sense of this thing here's how it's got to go, okay? Okay. Okay, it's all about grandmothers. Take your power. Grandmothers? Yes, every grandmother in this country is responsible, I figure, for between 15 to 100 people. A woman who lives that long and keeps her family around her, that's exactly what happens.

And it's the truth of it. So I call that a community, you know, depending on where they are geographically. But that community, in the words of Malcolm X, why I ran for president on that party, it needs to create community health, and community sovereignty, and community, and community uh what's the word where it just keeps going momentum no it it um i can't think of the word but it's a kind of farming where it's just like uh it feeds itself it's self-generating do you know what i mean the economy of that particular community is self-generating okay for instance the pineapples you grow, you sell at the market. Right.

You know, that kind of thing. Self-sustainable. Sustainable. Thank you. I couldn't think of that word. Getting old sucks, man. What was the word you invented, though? You invented a good word.

What was it again? Synchronicities? Synchronicities. Yes. That's a good one. We're going to use that one. That should be a barter economy. And, of course, it's all based on land as is all wealth because you can grow shit and feed people and that's what matters.

So the biggest problem facing us as humans is how do we get the food in front of the hungry kids? That's our problem. But we go to all this other shit rather than that. So we need to start over, get grandmothers in charge. Every grandmother, there'll be a community grandmothers organization, all based on the nation of Iroquois, which was how the United States was actually founded. Because Benjamin Franklin was a fan of the Iroquois, which was how the United States was actually founded, because Benjamin Franklin was a fan of the Iroquois people and the way they ran their government, which was run by a grandmother's council. And that's what he invented the 13, you know, they came up with the 13 colonies united,

because it was 13 tribes and the Iroquois were the judge. But didn't you just get done telling us about how evil your grandmother was? Well, she was good, but she was like money hungry, you know. She's a really good person. We can't have her running shit. Well, I'm kind of like her. Ringing that bell for America. What do you mean?

Get down here. Take out my shit. Oh, no, I'm not. I think people should be paid fairly. Yes. That's what I learned from that. It's no, I'm not. I think people should be paid fairly. Yes. That's what I learned from that. It's like, God damn, you know. He would have done all that and more if you'd incentivized him.

What's that capitalist word? Incentivized. Yeah. Incentivized. But it's true. Yeah. He had a good heart and they ran him out of town. Yeah.

That ain't good. See, that ain't self-sufficient. Right. You got to stop before you ruin everything. ain't sustainable yeah stop before you ruin it and keep it going so have you completely given up i mean i know you're gonna go on tour with dice i did it already you did it how many dates you guys do two just that's it yeah you're done well well we're done for now i'm like i it? I don't want to travel when it's cold. No. I can't take it. Do you live here in Hawaii or do you just live in Hawaii?

I live here, Hawaii, and a few other places. But when you're here, why don't you come to the store? The comedy store? Yeah. You know, I get so nervous about it. I mean, I wear these Depends and they are not holding it back i gotta get the next level and then i will i get so fucking nervous well i mean they shattered me listen i'll take you in there i'd be happy to yeah yeah for sure well anytime you want really yes i'm afraid of that audience no after they are they all uh

progressives i hope so god i want to bust a few i'm gonna get in a fucking fist fight with most people are just people they're great my kids they're still progressive it fucking pisses me off so bad well they're probably good people they want to do the right thing and they think that's the way to do the right thing you know and that's fuck the carbon footprint i'm old if i want to do the right thing, and they think that's the way to do the right thing. Fuck the carbon footprint. I'm old. If I want to fuck it, I will. You know what I mean? Fuck it.

I've already left a huge one. I'm not going to back off now. The problem is everything leaves a carbon footprint, including organic farming. I know. That's what I'm finding out in Hawaii. Now I thought I was just fucking selling my farm. That's what I'm finding out in Hawaii. Now I thought just fucking selling my farm.

Well, I think as time goes on with solar power and batteries and battery life getting extended due to technology, they're going to figure out better ways to do a lot of the things they're doing now. But regenerative farming is really important, especially a place like where you have. Well, you have control of the land. There's a lot of methods that you could use to do all sorts of things to grow your own food out there. The thing that's so great about Hawaii is that is that has so much uh oh christ i can't diversity in the people and this and their crops yes and you know that keeps everything really healthy and everyone's stuck on an island together they have to be nice we have to yeah and we have so many uh we have you know so many asian people that they really do have a unique it's not like my way of thinking it's kind of jewish but then at the end it goes it's very utilitarian i don't know i like the way

they design things especially the new farming things that i'm seeing on the island well the vibe of the island uh and you're on the big island but i love all the islands but the vibe of the island, and you're on the big island, but I love all the islands, but the vibe of Hawaii in general, it's just like this very interesting vibe because it's friendly and nice, but proud and strong. And they know they have a really beautiful, unique place, and they have a really incredible history

of people that were so bold that they got in these small handmade boats thousands of years ago and made their way through the goddamn ocean. Can you believe that? I mean, how many people— Did you know they hung their balls in the water? To find out which way the tide is going.

Yes. I mean— Yes, yes. That right there is so great. Yeah. Because that shows that men have a total purpose, right? I mean, it does, right? Because, I mean, what is it telling them that because i mean what is that telling them that

they're what is it telling them well explain to people when they did it floating when there was no wind when there was no wind and there was no current or there was no visible waves they would put their balls in the water to find out which way the current was going because they would feel it on their balls that's why they did it That is so fucking helpful to the human race. Yeah, their balls really saved them. And they got to Hawaii. Yeah. I mean, they got to the most beautiful place on earth.

And they did it. People were mad in Hawaii over that movie Moana, which is my favorite movie. I've seen it ten times. Why were they mad? Well, some of them were mad, the activist sort. But The Rock is Hawaiian. No, I know. He's the big guy. He's he's uh he's pacific islander

oh okay uh but anyway but he grew up in hawaii right i can't remember the believe he did oh well whatever he's fucking gorgeous and so is jason manoa fuck momoa yeah momoa god damn it anyway so every those are like, yes, unreal. That is pulchritude. Yeah, for sure. That's male pulchritude right there. Some cheesecake and beefsteak and pulchritude. It's like, whoa, would you love to see them bare naked?

Have you been paying attention to the controversy about building that new telescope in Hawaii? Oh, of course. I prayed against it. Did you? They came to me, you know, this is something that shouldn't be told, so I'll tell it. And I said, don't worry about it, sis. I'm putting in the Jew two cents on this here. You don't want them to build a telescope? Well, not on the people's holy place.

So I went out there and I done some prayers for direction. And it stopped three days later. And now it's back on, but all the people went up there. But I like to say to the people, I'm glad you got the telescope. I say this and everybody hates me. It's okay, but I just have to say. Maybe the telescope, which will be the new eye to behold the entire universe, which will create like a different kind of a human mind forever. Maybe that should be there.

I don't know. Well, it's a very unique place in terms of where it sits in the world. Well, it's where Pele is. That's where Pele is. Right. That's where Pele was born. And the Hawaiian people, they say, they believe that they came out of that mountain, you know. Right. And that's their, what do you call it, their genesis,

is that particular Mauna Kea, Mother Mountain. So they don't want anything built on there. Maybe there's some sort of a compromise, because the idea of that place is that it's in a very unique place on Earth to view the cosmos. Have you been to the Keck Observatory? I've never gone there because I, you know, I should. It's amazing. It's amazing.

The view up there. I'm going to take my grandkids there. It changes your place, like your idea of your place in the world the first time i saw it we're so visual beings yes that you know what changed me are those uh round thing the round films about the wall of china seeing that in those uh whatever those places are those theaters and it shows the imax yeah oh i know what you're talking about yeah those gigantic theaters where everything's around you yeah you get to see it visually yeah well the keck uh i i've been to it a few times but one time i caught it perfectly where uh there was no moon out and the

sky was clear and it was unbelievably beautiful the the you see the whole milky way you see all the stars the entire sky is filled with stars It didn't even seem real And it just makes you feel like You're looking through the windshield of a spaceship Flying through the cosmos Well there's this app you can get to That will chart the stars for you

And it's so cool And if you hold your phone up Which I float in my pool And you hold it up there And then you look and it's like Yeah, there's this Whatever they're called, I can't remember I had and then you look and it's like yeah yeah there's this yeah you know yeah whatever they're called i can't remember i had a similar app maybe it's the same there's the spot constellation yeah yeah yeah no it's incredible it is incredible

but there's not there's nothing like seeing it all of that pales when it comes to me thinking about me isn't that funny it's just so incredible that it works well that's one of the things that helps people think about their place in the world. When you see something as magnificent and enormous as the Milky Way. I mean, you see the Milky Way so clear that it doesn't even look real. No, it doesn't. And I've only caught it like that once. The other two times that I went there, it was still beautiful.

You can see dimension. You see everything. The other two times that I went, it was still beautiful, but not as stunning as the one time where I caught it. One time I messed up and I got there and it was a full moon. It was a mess. You couldn't hardly see anything. The other time was really cloudy. It was hard to see.

But the one time I saw it, it was just, oh. To this day, I think back on it. It blows me away. It really shifted in a real tangible way the way I viewed people on a planet in space. It's undeniable because it's so gorgeous and so epic. Centering your eye and expanding your whole mind and consciousness. And that does something to your big-ass program, DNA shit, you know. Once the eye sees it and takes it in, it's like the image.

Once the image is digested, know the image you know they say where where does it stop being that and become this right you know all that integration that's the word integration yeah in the mind i think that lack of uh ability to see that is one of the things that's really screwed us up more than anything about uh modern civilization with all our lights our street lights and city lights you can't see the sky anymore when there's no lights at all then you see all the stars and then you realize like oh we're in space we're in space like this isn't just the night time i'm not just in manhattan looking at the sky no that we are in space when you have a full blackout in a place like manhattan also do you

look at the sky like what is like, what is going on? All these stars have been here the whole time, but you could never see them. Light pollution. It's a terrible thing. Oh, I never heard it put like that. Light pollution is a terrible thing that we've done. We've denied people the view of the most gorgeous thing in all of the universe, the universe itself. There's a lot of beautiful things.

Well, they say they put up those lights to help the homeless so they don't get raped and murdered. That's what San Francisco did. That's what San Francisco did to help the homeless. Well, there's always going to be lights there. There's just lights from buildings. No, but they increased the lights. Thanks, Nance.

I mean, it really helped, though. You've got to admit, that really helped so many people. The lights? Yeah, not to get raped and stuff when they were living in a pile of shit. Yeah. And a few broken needles there. One of my guests recently. Have you seen it?

Yes, I have. It's like, where was that place we used to always talk about in India? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Calcutta. Yeah. It's fucking full on. Yeah. And it goes for blocks.

And I just don't think that in California that should be allowed. Well, it's way worse than it's ever been before and it keeps getting worse. And then what happened with those fires? How come they don't have any water? What was all that fire stuff? Well, it was a perfect combination of wind and dry things. And, you know, the long drought that we had there's a lot of dead trees yeah just burn through everything that was terrible it's bad land management don't you think there's certainly

that but there's also a lack of resources you know there's a lack of understanding that something like that can happen sometimes it takes something like that to happen maybe that was hitting bottom like tiffany says and maybe now it's going to come back up. That'd be good if it did the hourglass flip where it's like, okay, we hit the bottom now. And now let's build back something good and better and stronger just by talking to each other more. Right. I hope so. Because we could come up with solutions in every community. I mean, maybe I could do a podcast and try to unite people.

But there's so many things people could do to help their community right now that doesn't cost nothing. And a lot of people my age, you know, well, they have some free time. I mean, they're probably all babysitting their grandkids like we all are because their parents are working. But if you have some free time in this generation, which happens to be the most educated and the richest of women that's ever been, maybe you could put some time towards doing something that helped the children in your community. Yeah. We could start that in little pods all over the place. And then we could all report to each other the data so we can make it bigger and more connected.

Yeah, I haven't seen anybody that has a real solution for the homeless problem in L.A. or even a solution. I haven't heard one thing that makes any sense. People are saying they're going to do them Walmarts like that. On the Internet, I saw it. Walmarts? Yeah, and Walmarts are going to house the homeless. That's what I saw.

They said it's going to be a crash and there's going to be a lot of people losing their homes again. And they're going to have to go to Walmarts and live. Live in Walmarts? Like camps. They're going to turn Walmarts into camps?

Like the parking lot, you mean? Yeah, the whole thing. The whole unit. Really? Yeah, like, you know, where they put people who come here and they have to house a lot of people. You know, like they did after Katrina in the Super Bowl.

I mean, they have to house a lot of people after catastrophe. An economic catastrophe causes homelessness. Yes. That has to be addressed, right? Forget about the future, right? Like, what about right now? The homeless problem right now, how would anybody fix that? 60,000 people just in L.A., how do you fix that?

Well, a lot of people do this. A lot of people that I know actually go and meet one homeless person and try to help that one person and take them into their homes. These are people who are wealthy, and, you know, and they, you know, help them clean up and go to school. People are doing things like that individually, and it works. Well, the problem, I think, though, is mental illness and drug addiction. Most people don't have enough time. Well, first they're going to have to get off drugs. Right, but most people don't have enough time to babysit another adult human being

and try to guide them through this life. Well, some of us like to stick our nose in other people's business and get involved, too. I'm an old Jew. I love it. And I love telling people just exactly what I think they should do to better their self. And you know what? I've done it a lot, and it's worked every time. Never had one failure.

You've never had one? I pride myself on that. Not one. And telling someone what to do, you mean? Hell yes. Really? Yep. You never had one time? Except myself. We told someone what to do you mean hell yes really yeah you never had one time myself we told someone except myself so you're bad at giving yourself advice i'm good at other

people yep i know exactly what should be done to help people turn their life around i've done it a lot and it's always worked some of them are just assholes though right like tom you know when you sober up a guy he's you know a sober asshole i mean a drunk asshole can sometimes become a sober asshole and there's not much difference and people should be very aware of that particularly women just being sober i don't mean shit it's what do they do it don't matter to me like in my act i want to say good evening ladies and gentlemen you know who you are you know because i don't care what you look like or nothing that's what you do and how you act toward me if you're not nice to me i'm not going to be nice to you how was the tour when you were touring with dice i know uh you you you went on stage with him in Vegas

That's when I heard about it Yeah, he brought me back from the dead Did you plan on going up that night? No He told me to and I was like, oh my God, no I went into the bed and I had like 40 nervous breakdowns I called everyone I knew Hardly anyone takes my calls anymore.

Really? Yeah, because they're like, stop. You know, because I obsess over and over and over and over. Should I go on? I don't know if I should go on. I think I wouldn't be able to do it if I could. Really? So you think I should go?

I don't think I could do it. I can't go on. Why would you say I get on? Oh, get up there, Roseanne. Yeah. And he talked to you? He's like a big brother to me. I love that guy.

But I never had a big brother, you know. I was the big sister. And he said, come down here. You only have to do five, and I'm going to sit on the stage behind you. So how much better can that get? During his show. Oh, yeah. You can't go wrong.

And he worked it out to where it would look like it was just happening. Right. We had rehearsed that a few times. But it was well received. The people in the audience loved it. Yeah. And then this tour, it was so wonderful. It was it was a fucking boatload of fun.

Oh, my God. I had so much fun. A lot of my friends came. Where'd you guys go? The audience was great. We went somewhere in Long Island and somewhere in Atlantic City. And the audience was great. And they were very kind to me.

And I had a blast, I have to say. How much time did you do? Because I really got to unload all the shit people i hate who i hate and why i i only i did an hour oh wow um usually i do 90 but you know we were sharing so i'm like good i'm happy to do an hour and uh and then dice came out. And, you know, it was like, that guy, you know how he is. He's a fucking master at what he does. Fucking guy. I can't believe it.

I mean, the level of performance. Because I'm like this. You know, that's it. You know. So then he's it. You know. So then he said this. Right. Okay, but he's over there. You know.

He gets into it. Yeah, like a rock star. Yeah. And, you know, it was, they loved him. They, you know, it was mostly men. The couple jokes I had about feminism, it was silent. It was just silent. Because I have this one joke that usually kills where I go.

I was talking about Caitlyn Jenner. Right. She went full Chaz. Bruce Jenner went full Chaz Bono. And now she's Caitlyn Jenner. And she went full Chaz Bono. And now he's Caitlyn Jenner. She's Caitlyn Jenner. And she went full Chaz Bono. Well, a little different.

I mean, Chaz, she had the adedictomy. But, no, that's the name. But it's way harder to go from a man to a woman because of what they do. They take you in this room. They tie you in this table. They come in there, and they cut your pay in half and it wasn't one laugh not one oh well they should have laughed that pissed me off so you did two and that's it we did two and then dice goes okay let's let's digest let's see you know after the winter's, if we want to do more, let's do more. Because neither of us wants to go anywhere in the winter.

We're both Jewish. Dice wants everyone to think he's Italian, but he's very Jewish. Andrew Silverstein. Saperstein. Silverstein. I thought it was Saperstein. Is it? Yeah, it's Saperstein.

Really? Yeah, Andy Sapp. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Who knows? I could be wrong. I can't remember anything. Yeah, you could be right, too, though.

I think I'm right. So he's... He's a genius at performance level for 90 fucking minutes. Yeah, no, I've always loved ice. State of the art, yeah. So he's like back and forth to Vegas and here, right? He just moved to New York. He's getting so much work.

Oh, really? He actually took an apartment in New York. I'm like, you better have two bedrooms and I might crash there. Because New York would be fun to do. You know, he's doing a lot of stand-up. Oh, stand-up in New York. His whole new thing is a mature view of that same guy. Oh, interesting.

You know, like dating the same girls as his sons and stuff. It's good stuff. It's funny. That's awesome. But I might move to New York, too, because, you know, somebody's got to shake something up. Yeah. And I feel like shaking something up, and then I get very tired. Just go to Hawaii.

And I feel like shaking something up, and then I get very tired. Just go to Hawaii. But, you know, the thing I mostly want to shake up is comics be brave. Stick up for each other. Now, if you guys had stuck up more for me, I think it would have stopped. But you ignored it because you're like, well, she is a little bitch anyway. She's done a lot of fucking stupid shit. I think sometimes when the shit hits the fan with certain people, other folks get nervous that it's going to come at them if they defend you.

Of course, but now they're starting. It's real weird to see a turnaround like Piers Morgan. He was quick to call me a racist on his show. He said she's absolutely a racist to have compared this and that and saying she looks like this. But of course, I never said that. That's his interpretation of what I said, which now he has a little bit more time away from.

So he's just called and said he would love to interview me. And my publicist said, well, after calling her a racist, I doubt that will happen. And he said, well, I'm very sorry. And I want to apologize to her. I uh you know a knee-jerk reaction as i think he's also recognizing and he's he wrote some he did some stuff about it recently where he was on i think he was on the ben

shapiro show where he was talking about it and there was a clip and i actually retweeted the i'm gonna do a jew beatdown on that Ben Shapiro one of these days. Yep. Why? Because he needs it. What does he need a beatdown for? Because he's a young man. That's how I'm going to talk to people now.

Listen to me, young man. You may think you know a thing or two about Judaism, but you do not know as much as I know. So you sit down and listen. That's what I'll say. Well, maybe he would just listen. You don't have to do all that. Well, I just I know. So you sit down and listen. That's what I'll say. Well, maybe he would just listen. You don't have to do all that. Well, I just did it. So whatever.

Anyway, Piers Morgan has been talking a lot about how ridiculous this outrage culture is. Cancel culture, they call it. They call it that because of my show. Nobody else got canceled. You know, what's her name called? The president's Jewish daughter, a see you word. See you next Tuesday. And nothing happened to her because she liked Hillary. I mean, it's just going to show it just was all private hands through corporate maneuvering. But the airwaves belong to the public. So you can't use the public's airwaves, the way I see it, to dumb down the public so they won't vote for you not putting poison in their community or their food.

It's all a scam from top to bottom. It's all a scam, every bit of it. It's going to implode. It is imploding. It's fucking awesome to see. You mean society itself? I don't think society, as long as people have love in their hearts for their children and their children's friends and each other and community. Government's going to implode. It's going to collapse collapse we keep trying i want to get back to this 700 years of artificial intelligence yeah well i just explained it for the last however long but i mean what do you mean by

artificial intelligence how's artificial intelligence running everything it's mk ultra mind control a mind control program that shoved down the fucking throats of a populace of a captive population like what is happening when you say mk ultra mind control yeah artificial intelligence like what what is happening to us well we're being bred for uh certain things we're being well we were bred but we're being activated for certain things. We're being bred? Well, we were bred, but we're being activated for certain things. I'm mostly talking about the mentally ill because I can see where all these things,

these terrible things that happened, that was a mentally ill person who had mental health issues, and that's why it needs to be talked about. Mental health issues come in all colors, sizes, and preferences. And it's time to seriously do something about it rather than just looking the other way as people die in filth on your fancy streets of America. We can't do this. We have to have something else.

It can't be what it has been either. It has to be a synthesis between all sorts of economic plans. Johnny and I, we talk about this 24-7, me and my boyfriend. That's all we live for is to come up with a solution. And we talk about peopleism, which is a hybrid. It has to be a synchronized hybrid of of the use of money, of making capitalism local and kind. We can't believe nobody's thought of it yet, but this was part of my green plan for the Peace and Freedom Party, the Socialists in 2012. Well, I see that the Ocasio-Solitude, whatever her name is, or

AOC, I can't remember. Well, she took my green thing and fucked it up, and I'm pissed. Because I did think I did put forth solutions. In fact, before Trump, I was the only politician running for any kind of office who came out with solutions.

And I thought that I influenced Trump because I ran my campaign totally on Twitter and self-financed and, you know, all those things and talking about a plan to make our communities work for us, the citizens. Are you in contact with him? Yeah, a little. A little bit? Yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah. It's fucking exciting.

It is. It's like a fucking Mick Jagger rock star. But he's bigger than Mick Jagger. He's bigger than the Pope. I mean, he he is and what happened today in the vatican that's why i was going to ask you today did you see no you saw it right what did you see i haven't even looked at the news let's see let's check in with conspiracy headquarters jamie's not conspiracy well i mean on the internet oh jamie what does it say about

jamie's like the opposite of conspiracy headquarters. What happened at the Vatican today, according to? There was a raid. A raid of the Vatican? Five officials and employees were suspended. Something to do with finances. Really? Oh, finances. It should be kid fucking. A lot of computers.

No, honey. Kid fucking and dead bodies. A lot of computers were taken. Oh. It's going to be a lot of kid porn. Yes. Guaranteed. There'll be a lot of horrible shit.

Oh, for sure. Like any place you look, whether it's in the church or, you know. Yeah, but the Vatican is like uniquely gross in that regard. I mean, the history of that place. I think there's 30 women who live in that city. You know that it's its own nation. Well, it's its own nation. Yeah. Yeah. And there's 30 women in that nation. See, know that it's its own nation it's its own nation yeah

yeah and there's 30 women in that nation see what does that tell you that kind of tells you something i think well when they were looking for that missing girl when they found bodies yeah a lot of kids come through there thousands of bones a lot of a lot of a lot of teachers bring their students there to see history because it does have history that's what makes me mad is when it has a history of art and it's all fucking art is totally fucking compromised by church and state yeah so that the only way you can see it is by supporting their war on us something else is going to happen like tiffany's talking about a new way of um art you know it's kind of like crowdsource art. I just like those ideas.

Like, what if we made a movie that way? That'd be cool. Well, Jamie, what is the, what's the rate about?

What I'm trying to read and... Financial information and computers. They're not really fully saying because it's being investigated at the moment.

It was the Vatican police who did it. That's what's so great. Because for a long time I've been saying or feeling like, you know, all the good people are coming together and leaving the bad people by the side of the way, which that's what we have to do. We cannot include those parts of our peoples who are bad anymore. And that's how they worked us for a couple generations here but now we got to let our own bad people go and we're not we don't protect nothing bad we embrace good in every other all worldwide good comes to good and uh it even happened with the vatican police the good uh because i always say like when i talk spirituality i know

you don't care about astrology or any of those things that i'm into but i felt like uh the good was winning over the bad for a long long time now and um tipping the balance and this was proof to me because it's like the good came together against the bad. Together. That's what's going to happen everywhere. It is happening. It's just really chilling and wonderful to think about the things that, you know, President Trump has done. Like what? By one or two actions he's taken.

Like what? Well, he's so nice to the Jewish people, Joe. He's the only president in the whole fucking western world who ever liked us. Really? Yeah. He liked us most. Obama didn't like the Jewish people? No. Clinton? Are you kidding?

No. No. No. No. No. George Bush? No. No? No. In another whole way. No, he don't. He likes some.

He likes some of them. What else has Trump done that you really like? Well, when his daughter is there, she will light the Sabbath candles in the White House on Friday night, Ivanka. So you're just all about anything Jewish? Not anything. But a lot of things. Only the good.

I don't like the bad. I'm not going to. I'm for the good. Right. And the good is, hey, we have the ability to really fix some shit. That's the best part. Hey, we have the ability to really fix some shit. That's the best part.

We can travel deserts. It takes us 40 years to go three miles because we're so stupid. But once we get it right, we can keep building something that works for all of us, and we can all actually like each other. And then I could, as a grandmother, I feel that I'm denied this, to be able to travel freely in the world going to different cultures and sampling their wonderful foods. You're denied this? Yes.

How are you denied this? Well, because, you know, there are some countries who don't welcome Jewish people. Oh, okay. But I like their food, so I don't see why they can't have me over. I was recently invited to Egypt, though. Oh, really? Because I've bitched so much online about why do they not, they like me, everyone likes me.

I don't, I'm not a mean person. Right. You know? I'm mean to the devil. The devil? I don't like that goddamn devil. You think the devil's real? The devil in my head is.

What's the devil in your head say? What's the worst thing it's ever said? Oh, Joe. You don't want to go down that road, baby. Said the worst things you could say. But do you think it's really the devil? Oh, yeah. Well, it's not me.

But do you think it's mental illness? Yeah. That's my devil. Right. And like for a lot of us we do have that devil voice a lot of people do we got a devil voice well we're the you know we're the ancestors of some pretty violent animals you think so i used to think that way till this whole planet of the apes thing joe and now i'm gonna tell you exactly what i think about that i think apes evolved from humans so humans were first yeah

and then well you know there's a whole fossil record right yeah they actually understand the well they think they understand well they do it by carbon isotope dating nope i'm not gonna accept you know not accepting that's why they call it the theory of evolution because it's not correct. Is it carbon isotope dating or is it carbon isotopes? Do you believe in evolution? Yes. Really? Yeah.

Have you looked around lately? Yeah, I don't think it's perfect. I think there's a problem with society that we let, I mean, it's a terrible thing to say, but there's a lot of people that don't really have the best genetics or the best life experiences or the best things to offer. And they're breeding and they're doing a terrible job of raising children. I so agree. That's one thing I am really getting pissed at is how these women are raising their kids. When I see them out, I get so goddamn mad, Joe.

I get so fucking irate. A lot of terrible men out there, too. I've seen more mean women to their kids than men. There's a lot of mean men. Well, they're usually mean to the mom. There's a lot of flawed humans. The men are usually mean to the women. But the women take it out on the kid, don't you think?

I think men are mean to kids, too. I mean, this is mean people. And someone was mean to them. And it's an imperfect cycle. I think that's what I'm getting at. It's that evolution, even if it is real, there's a lot of people that are, I mean, it's not like the best versions of humans are all that's represented today in 2019. I just want to make sure everyone gets mentioned so nobody, because the thing I think that

is the enemy of humans is self-righteous indignation. I think that's the devil. And when that devil starts talking in my head, that's always where it starts with the self-righteous indignation, which gives me the right to do any mean shit I want because I might. Treat people like the other, right? The other, yeah. They're wrong. They're the other. You're the right one.

And it's not going to work. It's just not going to work. Roseanne, I hope you do a podcast. I really do. And if you really want to do one, I'm going to help you. I'm going to connect you. I'll connect you to someone who will set it up, plug and play. Because I always think I could really help a lot of people because I have learned to live with catastrophic mental illness.

I mean, I fuck up sometimes, obviously. But, you know, if I don't take care of myself, yeah, I do. Maybe you're a journalist friend. Maybe you just need someone with you myself yeah i do maybe you're maybe your journalist friend maybe she could do it with you i think you guys i think it'd be very entertaining and i think you could have a good time i think you could enjoy yourself too well thanks for having me it was wonderful my pleasure it's always great to see you anytime could you tell i did my own eye makeup you look wonderful i. I do? Oh, good. See, that's the only part of this whole thing I'll remember. That and the Vatican deal. Are you still active on Twitter?

Can people still find you there? Oh, no. No. Oh, no, the kids took it away. They won't give me the thing. What about Instagram? Nope. Nope, good.

Well, I do put some. My kids put good pictures up there. Oh, that's good. I got my own YouTube channel Oh yeah I forgot I got my own YouTube channel Where I try to sneak my drunken videos on But my kids force me to delete

But I do try Well you gotta get away from those kids I know I'm going to China I'm not Beijing I'm going to Beijing We'll talk after this I'm going to try to set you up Thank you Roseanne Thank you My. Thank you, Rosanna.

Thank you. My pleasure. Thank you. Bye, everybody. Can I keep this? Sure. My boyfriend's coming.