The Joe Rogan Experience - #1364 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: October 9, 2019

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network. Also look for him on "Kill Tony" available on Spotify under "Deathsquad".

Hello, Brian. Hello, Joe. What are you doing? Just hanging. Yeah, you're not sober, are you? This isn't Sober October for you. Oh, no. You're not doing it?

Nah. You can get high. I'll watch. Okay. Can I blow it on you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that counts. Oh, this is a joint.

This fat one. Oh, really? Yeah, that's all weed. That's Mike Tyson's weed. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Look at this. I got a torch. This fat one. Oh, really? Yeah, that's all weed. That's Mike Tyson's weed. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Look at this. I got a torch. A cigar torch. I could smoke a cigar with you. Oh, sweet. That's legal.

Ari and I were thinking that when we started Sober October, we started smoking cigars. We were thinking maybe that will disqualify us and we can just quit. Yeah, what does... Kabucha has alcohol. Kabucha? Yeah. But it can't really get you drunk. You stay sober.

You would have to drink a case of it to even catch a bug. But if you scheduled a doctor's appointment, like a dentist appointment, and they gave you some pills or something, is that okay? Yeah, like, what if you get surgery? Like, what if somebody got their appendix taken out? Yeah, are you allowed to do any kind of, like, medication or medicine? No, you have to die. There's no real rules

for that. I mean, look, it's not... The thing about this contest that's really stupid is there's no consequences. Not even a friendly penalty of like... No, there's nothing. I could have a glass of wine right now. Nothing could happen. Yeah. Oh no, I've no i lost yeah oh my god i lost um i'll tell you what though i've been getting a lot of messages from people that are inspired and it makes me feel real good

i i reached out to some dude yesterday on instagram because he lost something like 200 fucking pounds you know i mean it's crazy that's the dude who had the scars all over because he got his uh the extra skin removed after he lost all the weight it's amazing sober october you know sometimes you just have to have a thing like that where everybody goes i'm gonna do it too and then it gives you the reason like a motivation to get going that sometimes that's all people need man yeah i just got over the the keto thing so now i'm just like fuck that i uh i feel like i'm free again like i can you know have normal food again and that that's hard to do man that keto is hard to

do it kind of got to me to the point where now i'm like doing the opposite like i'm just like i want to eat everything because i've been wanting to eat pizza for so long. Like Catholic school girls. Tell them to stay away from dick and they can't wait to get a hold of one. 100%. That's what it is. People don't like being told what to do. They don't like being forced into something that they don't enjoy.

That's why school is ineffective. That's why so many things don't work. That's why school is ineffective. That's why so many things don't work. But the keto thing, the problem with it is I think it's a healthy thing for a lot of folks. If you have epilepsy, apparently it's the thing because it can stop your seizures. There's people that have epilepsy. They get ketogenic, and it just kicks it off. You don't get seizures anymore.

But it's boring yeah every now and then i want pasta and also fruit i like fruit that was the biggest one for me just fruit like watermelon you know how great just having some watermelon in the morning is you know it's the most delicious fruit ever i think like a good perfect watermelon on a hot day my god it's amazing you know it's fuck it's a fucked up fruit though because it's only racist fruit you know it's like the only fruit that's attached to racism there's no other fruit where you can make fun of someone for eating and it's like racist have you ever had that um durian shit yeah that's it's good it's not bad right but god it smells smells

horrible it smells horrible have you had it jamie it's like bad right but god it smells smells horrible it smells horrible have you had it jamie it's like they have it in thailand in thailand they love it i tried it in thailand it's like this weird it's like spiky yeah spiky on the outside then the inside it's kind of mango like sort of like a pale mango um it's not my favorite but i tried it but god damn it smells like dog shit it smells so bad that they ban it in a lot of hotels because people will go into hotels and, you know, like folks that come from a culture where they eat that stuff all the time, they'll bring bags of it, and the whole family's eating that stuff,

and it wafts down the hallway, and people are like, what in the fuck? It says it smells like Limburger. Or it has been compared to Limburger. Yeah, it's got a weird smell. You can't take it on public transportation in some places either. Wow. Yeah, it stinks. It's weird, but it tastes good.

My friend did that fasting diet. You know, that one that everyone's, not fasting, the one where you only eat like a small part of the day. Yeah, I do that. Yeah. Intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting. And he woke up sleepwalking one night and found out on his Nest cams, like his security cameras,

he goes into the bathroom, passes and like falls down and hits his head. And he showed a picture of just blood everywhere in his bathroom. Goes back to bed, didn't even know about it. Wakes up and he sees blood everywhere. Checks his cameras, finally he's sleepwalking a couple days later he starts having seizures like like out of the blue goes to the doctor and doctor says it's because of that that diet he was doing his brain was starving that's what that doctor said that doctor's making shit yeah you think that yeah that guy needs to go to a neurologist he's's probably got a fucking brain tumor. One thing, though, I did know is that when I was on keto, I slept walked a lot.

And I think it was my body trying to find sugar. Really? Yeah. Because I never sleep walked because I have cameras in my living room. Can't do this on me. Yeah, I know. It's kind of weird. But when I was on keto, I slept walked maybe 10 times.

Since I've been off, I haven't slept walked once. Can you say slept walked? Is that the right? Slept walked? Sleep walked. When you talk about past tense, is it sleep walked or slept walked? Slept walked. What is it?

It's sleep walked. Sleep walked. I would say sleep walked. Yeah, it's probably sleep walked. But I don't think I've ever heard anybody say it past tense. You can't past tense the first part of the compound word Oh it's a weird one It's a weird one

Slept I slept well last night but I slept walked Yeah I did some sleepwalking You could say that Sleepwalking Yeah but I think that's kind of interesting I wonder if it was my body craving sugar so bad that it woke me up

Because I was like going through the cupboards trying to find sugar oh well that makes sense yeah it was but i don't remember any of it how long were you keto for seven months yeah eight months the intermittent fasting is a good move because i think most of the time look for me i eat when i'm bored i do it all the time like when i come home from the store and I'm writing, I just start eating. And then I'm like, what am I doing? Because I try to do intermittent fasting. So that means if I come home and it's midnight and I'm writing and I start

eating, that means I can't eat until two in the afternoon the next day. And then just don't wake up till two in the afternoon. I can't. I got to work. I got stuff to do. I have kids. I have responsibilities.

I'm not, I'm not a, like a Peter Pan like you. Right. No, I think that would be the diet that makes the most sense. Because I already seem to only eat once a day, which it's not healthy, though, to eat once a day. No, it's not. You should get a nutritionist.

You got some cash. You should hire a trainer and get a nutritionist. Yeah. I'm thinking about going back to Weight Watchers. I'm almost at my fattest level. No. I want to get really fat and then do what I always- No, you said that before.

You were on a strategy before. I'm like, you keep saying you're going to lose weight. You're like, I know what I'm doing. I'm going to get really big and then I'm going to lose weight. I'm like, what? Because I always forget to take the before photo and then I'm like halfway through a diet. I'm like, God damn it.

Now I'm just, I got to quit this. Now it's like, oh yeah, but you didn't look that bad before you died right i got my big fat beard on just this beard it looks like i gained 20 pounds yeah just shave the beard at the end it's sort of like when people get a tan and they're after photos and they look more ripped yeah you know like before after like the after you just tan bro tan with better lighting yeah yeah i follow a lot of uh bodybuilder girls and i don't know why it's disturbing to me but when they they start cutting down weight and then you see them like monitoring their food and watching their portions and shit and they're getting leaner and leaner it bothers me like i get nervous why i don't know i'm like it's like don't do that like oh it's fucking why like what

are you doing just losing all your fat? Just so you can get on stage and squeeze everything? And pose? I get it, you know? But I don't, see, I don't think that looks the best. That's why I don't understand. That's what weirds me out. I don't think it looks the best, especially for ladies, when you're, like, super shredded.

It just doesn't't i don't even like when they have those those man shoulders you know where you see like a really girl beautiful girl and then she takes off her cardigan or whatever and you're like oh she has like her frame looks like a man i don't like that doesn't bother me oh i mean she's durable it bothers me when they get shredded i don't know why i just see it seems like they're suffering like it's it seems like a mistake you know what i mean like like i guess maybe i guess this is probably what it is i guess i connected to anorexics because anorexics legitimately freaked me out there was this one girl that i used to yoga with and it was so sad man it was so sad

she would come in and everyone would be like fuck she was like 80 pounds her whole body was bones she was just bones joe queen phoenix and the joker oh my god he'd do to get down to that he lost 50 pounds and his shoulder looked all fucked up too well he was just posing in weird ways to i mean he nailed that role dude he really hasn't seen it i didn't want to too much but No spoilers. So you think I should go to the theater for this one? No, you can watch it at home. Okay.

I mean, when's it coming out at home? You'd have to wait. It just came out, so you'd still have to wait. Oh, there's a new thing, apparently, where you can get home movies at home. Home movies at home. Torrance. You can get theater... No, not even Torrance.

You can get it legitimately, and you pay quite a bit of money. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some new thing. Yeah, that should be a thing. You pay, how many people would you normally go to a movie with?

Four people? Each ticket's about 20 bucks nowadays. Yeah. Pay 60 bucks so you can rent it for 24 hours? That would be the shit. Yeah. I wanted to do the opposite.

I was trying to look up to see how much it would cost to rent interstellar to have a screening at the chinese theater in hollywood that was the coolest movie and sound i've ever seen and i want people i know to experience that oh right because it was fucking so awesome and i don't like it do you look up how much it is i couldn't you can do screen there. I think you'd have to figure out how much it costs to rent the print of the movie and have it sent there. It used to be 35 millimeter prints

when I was a projectionist. People would rent like, hey, we just rented Back to the Future for our company picnic and you would like, as a projectionist, you would get it in the mail

with all the other films and you're like, what the fuck? Why is Back to the Future here? I don't think it's that much. I think it's only a couple hundred actually. Why don't we have a JRE movie night? That'd be perfect.

We rent a movie theater. Hey. That would be the shit. Where would we go, though? Any big theaters? I don't know. You know where you want to go? You want to go to one of them Cineopolis.

Cineopolis? You know the ones? Drinks? Yeah, they have drinks and food. The seats lean back. You get an assigned seat. We could do those. Yeah, we should find out.

Yeah, we could. We wanted to watch those movies like that roar movie with the tigers or the other lions oh some stupid movies well according to Joey Diaz the new Rambo

is Roadhouse times a million he goes Joe Rogan you gotta see this fucking movie I was crying laughing I was crying laughing

he goes it's Roadhouse times a million it seems like it it looks ridiculous well he's a thousand years old and he's fucking everybody up Roadhouse times a million. It seems like it. It looks ridiculous. Well, he's 1,000 years old and he's fucking everybody up. I also read it was low budget, though. Like, really, like, what?

That's surprisingly low budget. Maybe he's, like, decided and he's going to keep all his money. When you're that age, right, like, how old is Stallone now? Is he 77? 72, I think. Let's guess. How old? 74, I bet. And do guess. How old? 74.

And do you think he's older or younger than Arnold Schwarzenegger? I think he's older. How old is he, Jamie? I want to say 72, but I'd go with a year older. Let's try. I'm saying 76. 74. 73.

73. Just turned 73 July 6th. Okay. So when you're 73, you got to feel like at the most, if everything goes amazing, you got 30 years. And the last 10, you ain't going to remember shit. So you got 20 years to burn through a big-ass pile of cash. What are you going to do? You going to spend it all on Rambo movies? Yo, there's a fucking dog over here.

What is that picture? It's a fake coyote on a golf course Why does he have a fake coyote on a golf course? Is that to keep Like birds away or some shit? I don't know Whatever to protect them Hey

Don't come get me What is he doing? Hey Playing around He's got some skinny legs man Take that picture of his legs again That is crazy That makes me nervous That he can walk upstairs Why is his leg so skinny? He's got some skinny legs, man. Take that picture of his legs again. That is crazy.

That makes me nervous that he can walk upstairs. Why is his leg so skinny? That looks like an injury or something. Like his leg is shrunk. Doesn't that look weird? I mean, he doesn't even look like he has any body right there. He's so jacked, though. Apparently in that movie, he's super jacked. He might have knee and back problems, though.

When you got back problems, man, your legs shrink. This was me when I was younger. I was fucking jacked he might have like knee and back problems though when you got back problems man your legs shrink this was me when i was younger i was fucking jacked when you uh i know a dude who's got a severe back problem and one of his legs is like shriveled up because his nerves aren't firing correctly he went to germany apparently and he got a bunch of discs replaced. And it just didn't work well. And he's just got all sorts of inflammation and scar tissue, and his nerves are blocked off. He had a bunch of fucked up discs. So he went and he got a bunch of them replaced in one shot and stayed over there for a few months. And now his body's just fucking up, like left and right. When you get Rick, real back problems are fucking scary as shit.

I sent Dean Del Rey to Lifespan Medicine to deal with his neck. Dean Del Rey's got a bulging disc so bad, he's like, dude, I worry when people bump into me. When people bump into him, he's in pain. Oh, yeah, I thought I had a stroke. Yeah, like if you pass by him and accidentally like bump into him a little bit he's like ah like he gets a stinger from headbanging or um no from a motorcycle crash some messed up lady nailed him on like left over from a few years ago yeah he got fucked up pretty bad and it's not getting any better yeah and it was so weird

because he's like i quit riding bikes you know for after that but then he got a bike like six months later i'm like what the fuck are you doing you you almost died well i think for dean you know he's trying to make some he bought a nice car like a porsche he had a great deal on it and then he flipped it yeah yeah i mean not flipped it like died like in a crash like kevin hart style he uh just he turned it over and made some money off of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I think that's when he bought a bike. But yeah, I guess people who love bikes, man,

they think it's worth the risk. Fuck that. Out here, I can't believe that there's not more of those scooter deaths everywhere. I know, right? Yeah. Dude, those things are goddamn fast. When we were in Denver, they're everywhere.

And everybody's riding those electric scooters all over the place. Is that really how you want to go out? right yeah dude those things are goddamn fast when we're in denver they're everywhere and everybody's riding those electric scooters all over the place you're like is that really how you want to go out you didn't try mine yet did you no is it fast 24 miles an hour dude yours look pretty good way faster than those bird shoot all this do you trust that shit i don't trust that shit anymore i flipped over my bike a couple years ago and i'm like something that's that's a message yeah i know too many people that are in broken my friend broke both of his arms on one of those scooters he flipped and he landed on his arms both of his arms and he had to have his mom live with him for like a couple

months because he couldn't do anything when i was doing uh zookeeper with uh kevin james i did a lot of my own bike riding and and I fucking wiped out hard. Because I didn't realize that if you're – we were in this scene where he was beside me, and I was trying to hit him with a flag, and he was beside me on his bike, and I was holding on to the handlebars with my left hand, which is your front wheel. So when I hit the brakes on my left hand, I just went flying over the top of the handlebars. I didn't do it just once either. I fucking wiped out pretty hard. Like, here, like here watch shows in slow-mo dvd extra watch baboon yeah it's a pretty good wipe out yeah that's exactly what i did on my bike i flipped over like exactly like that but i got lucky didn't get hurt but it's just luck you know you land on your arm wrong, your elbow goes backwards, and then you're fucked.

That was just you grabbing the wrong brake, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just went over the handlebars. But bikes, you could get fucked up. When I was in Utah recently, we were driving down the road, and we saw this lady fall on her bike. She was across the street on the other side and she was trying to she was trying to do something and she just got tangled up in her pedal and just dumped over and landed on one arm tried to post on her left arm and snapped

her arm and then she couldn't get up she was screaming so we went over and pulled over and uh people don't know how to deal with injuries. So people are like, okay, let's take your backpack off. I go, don't touch her. I go, she has a broken arm. Listen to me. Don't touch her. You know?

And I'm like, listen, we got, we got to, we're going to get you a hospital. You know, we'll get you an ambulance. And it was lucky that she was like a block away from the police station, but people want to do things. They want to like, okay, let's take her arm and put it in a splint. Let's tape it up. No, no, no. Don't do shit.

Neck injuries also. Oh, my God. Car accidents. People are like not even. Well, Kevin Hart's accident, they pulled him out of the car, and then they took him to his house. And he had three broken vertebrae. Like, yeah, don't do that don't

touch anybody like you can like you can just yank someone the wrong way after an injury and make them way way worse especially something like this lady's arm was so obviously broken the cops didn't even notice it the cops came over and they're like oh so how's everything right now are you feeling okay anything wrong i go she got a broken He's like, where's the arm broken? I go, look at her left arm. He's like, oh. Like, look, her fucking left arm was so broken. It's like when you see someone's broken bones, and unfortunately, I'm really used to it.

I see so many injuries from fights, you know, from the UFC. I'm so used to seeing breaks and things broken. I just looked at her. I'm like yep that's that is like her elbow was like her arm went straight and her elbow went back i'm like we're not moving don't take her back back off but she started hyperventilating like she had never broken anything she was 50 she's like i've never broken a bone before i'm like it's not a bad one it's just an arm like you're gonna be all right. Put it in a cast. Six weeks from now

you're going to be laughing at this. People sign your cast. You'll have a funny story. It's just a broken arm. Have you ever broken an arm, Jamie? Knock on wood, I have not broken a bone. No bones? Nothing. What about you? Same here. We got that Ohio water. Good dairy.

Yeah, not dairy. Ohio dairy. That, not dairy. Ohio dairy. That and no contact sports. Big football stake in my channel. Did you play football? Yeah. Not in high school, but up to high school. Up to high school? When you're a little kid, it seems like you can just get

fucking plowed over and you bend and bounce back up. Yeah, they throw you into each other. The dads will just grab you and just smack you into each other. But kids are so light. They're so light and they just bounce into each other. The dads will just grab you and just smack you into each other. But kids are so light. They're so light, and they just bounce off each other. When we talk about bikes, have you seen this before?

I'm going to play this video, but... Fuck this, yeah. What is this? It's called the Mountain of Hell. There's another name for it, too. I can't remember. Like Mountainocalypse or something like that. They start in France on the top of the Alps.

2,000 bikers. Is that snow? Yeah, it's on the top of a glacier. thousand two thousand bikers is that snow yeah it's on the top of a glacier you end up going like five thousand feet downhill so it's like a mile or two down and you're riding on ice yeah these are the guys in front but here in a second when they have to turn it creates this fucking insane pile up of people you can't avoid yeah so you have to be in front. It'll happen here in a second.

Here's the first one and then it just causes a major pileup. Bang! Boom! And then dudes are trying to dive out of the way. And you're just going downhill. It's like on a ski slope but everyone's on mountain bikes for those that are listening. Oh! Now, oh! It's like ants.

And then dudes are braking early to try to avoid it and they're just wiping out at the top oh my god this is what a stupid thing to do when you know that that many people are going to crash look at this guy on the outside trying to go fell on his own made it down there yet they're still at the top yeah and they're gonna try to figure out a path but you can't really hit the brakes right you're on ice yeah you're going downhill on ice so i don't know how that works this is so dumb look at that boom but if you make it out of there you're safe and you get to win what is that what do you win there might be some money at the end i don't know it's like doing sober october you get a croissant yeah it's just like just like Sober October. It's just stupid. Yeah.

Well, the best thing, I really believe the best thing about Sober October is it inspires people that actually do have a problem. Bert Kreischer. Inspires people to... Bert Kreischer... Here's a crazy thing that Bert Kreischer told me. Because you know Ari Shafir and him had a little bit of an incident with some MDMA. I don't know if you know about that.

Bert said that ever since taking that MDMA, he has zero desire to drink. He said it really cleaned it out and that he heard that when you take ecstasy, that ecstasy kills your desire to drink. That it does something to you that makes drinking seem really silly. And he said he's super focused. It probably was actually, honestly, a really good thing for him if he hadn't done it in a while because there is positives for doing it. I mean, circumstances were not the best the circumstances were the worst at home with his kids already dosing them but he said that uh you know he feels amazing and that like he really does feel focused and clear that's great huh if ari would have done it to me i wouldn't i wouldn't

have cared as much but yeah your body's like a fucking petri dish. I know. I was wondering because I did his podcast the day before. You were wondering if he was going to dope you? No, I was wondering if he did. And then it was like, oh, it didn't work because we ended up podcasting. You were hoping. Red man sitting around hoping he's getting drugged. Fingers crossed.

But it was a four-hour podcast. And I'm like, did I? Because we did smoke a lot of weed. But I'm like, did I? Maybe I was. Nah. Nah. Well, I remember I gave Chris McGuire some weed, and he was sure that it was laced with

something. Yeah. You know, he was sure. He was like, this is not regular weed. There's something in this. He was like really paranoid that there was something in it, you know? If you're not used to this California weed and you don't smoke a lot and then you're like, oh, alright, I'll have a couple

come on, guys and you get peer pressured into it well, I had something the other day that fucked me up because they don't tell you especially when you're at the comedy store and everyone's just passing joints and stuff this one person was one of those weed fanatics where he had put keef on it and whatever oil

THC oil, like it had like three things on it. Those guys can fuck off. Yeah. Those guys, they give you these joints and it's got like, it looks golden when you open it up. It's just got so much keef and all the oils and the hash oil. Yeah. That's ridiculous.

Like why do you want to get that high? Like what is wrong with them? Their tolerance, I guess. You know, like I can't, I don't understand it because I could take two hits of the shittiest joint and be like, you know what get that high? Like, what is wrong with them? Their tolerance, I guess. You know, like, I can't, I don't understand it. Because I could take two hits with the shittiest joint and be like, you know what? That was great. I'm fine. If you ever do B-Real Smokebox, be very careful.

Oh, yeah. I've been asked to. Please be careful. Because you've got to drive home after that. And you don't even know where you are. If it wasn't for navigation systems, I'd still be living in downtown LA. I would have never figured out how to get home. That's what the Tesla comes in for.

Let it drive for you. It's like these guys just smoke all day, every day. And to them, that's their baseline. Their normal is just being super-duper high. So they're used to it. We got so high before we even got into the car. And then you get into the car with the cameras in it and you and they do like this podcast and you're like it's surreal it's like an out-of-body experience yeah and you feel really paranoid and really worked up like oh

yeah no thanks i don't like that shit i don't like that why why why even bother doing that no one likes that they do obviously somebody likes that how there one likes that. They do. Obviously somebody likes that. There's people that like that. They put the leaf blowers full of weed and just blow it on each other. There's tons of videos of that going on. Those high times conventions and cannabis cups. They take a leaf blower and they pump a bong up.

It's ridiculous. But these are the arguments for weed being illegal. It's like, look at these idiots. It's also butt I mean, but this is like, these are the arguments for weed being illegal. It's like, look at these idiots. It's also butt chugging. Butt chugging. Butt chugging. But the thing is, like, it's weird. It's like we have this line of personal responsibility, right? You can go to any bar, and they don't check to see if you've already been drinking.

They don't know what your tolerance is. They don't know anything. You get any bar, you give me two shots of Jack Daniels and Grey Goose on the Rocks. They'll just give it to you. Bang. Nobody cares. They just think you can figure it out. You know, how much of a responsibility does a bartender actually have?

A lot. Do they? Yeah, they can go to jail too. The bartender can. If they don't stop you. Depending on the state, I think, yeah. That, to me, is so ridiculous. I don Depending on the state, I think, yeah. That to me is so ridiculous. I don't think the bar...

I think... Overserved. Like if you get over served and they can prove it, you're just as responsible if he drives home drunk and kills somebody. Do you... Well, if you know someone's going to drive... The problem is, I was talking about this on stage once, that the real problem with drunk driving is not that people can't drive when

they're drunk the problem when you're drinking is you don't know if you can drive or not you don't know how drunk you are because you're drunk like you might have three drinks and you might fail a drunk driving breathalyzer but you may might be able to drive perfectly you know but if you have four drinks or five drinks you might think it's okay to have six or seven like you don't know where you are you don't know like where you are on the spectrum of drunk or not drunk when you're really drunk that's part of being drunk you know what the fuck's going on that's why i like um that's why the consent issue when you're really drunk is is weird you know it's because it's like some people like to get

drunk and have sex and then some people say well you should never have sex with someone when they're drunk because they can't consent because they're drunk. Okay. But then that's like 90% of all people having sex. How many people have sex while they're drunk? I only have

sex when I'm drunk. I don't have to be drunk. I don don't know i'm dealing with a bunch of stuff dealing with a bunch of stuff yeah well i think uh autonomous cars it's gonna that's gonna be very interesting how they deal with alcohol and autonomous cars because if like you have a drunk mode like if autonomous car like say if you have a tesla in 2026 right and it has the option to be completely autonomous it drives on its own or you can go manual so it detects that you're drunk it says mr red band you are intoxicated we would like to drive and then you have to let it take you. Like, would you get – do you think there's going to be a point in time where drunk driving doesn't apply because your car is going to drive you home?

It makes the final decision for you. I'm all for it. Like, just – it wouldn't be hard to have a breathalyzer on a car. I did do that now. Yeah. I have a friend who – he got arrested for a dui like more than one and uh he had to blow into his thing on his van his work van he had a blow into his little thing before it would let him start the car this is another demolition man

coming full circle again because there's that scene where he gets in and he makes the car he's like give me give me control and she's like what the fuck are you doing you're gonna drive he's like yeah manual control give me that shit and he chases after what year was demolition man supposed to be in now i think i'll double check i might need to watch that again they're doing that thc uh breathalyzer next year what What are they going to find out? Supposedly it detects if there's THC, like if you have smoked in the last whatever, three hours. The problem with that is there's, I don't,

they've done studies that show that people drive well when they're high. They have done studies. There's been these tests, and they're not, it's not randomized double blind placebo controlled studies but they are they have done some studies when they show that people drive well high i know they have 20 look at me 2032 is when i take it 32 that's not far

away that's actually pretty close it gets frozen for 36 years and wakes up in 2032 oh wow isn't that funny what they used to think is going to be going on you know like yeah 2000 they'll just be able to freeze you wasn't that back to the future that was like 2017 or something like that back to future two yeah and then you look at it you're like that's yeah when when they came back yeah the second one yeah back to future two 2. Yeah. I don't know. It's like nobody ever gets it right. Like they get a couple things right, but everybody thinks we're going to be way more advanced than we are. Remember Space 1999?

Do you remember that? 1999. What's that? That was a TV show. Oh. They thought that 1999 we were just going to be flying around in spaceships and living on the moon. They're always wrong. What year was the Jetsons supposed to be?

Way off. That was like 1950. What year was that supposed to be? Yeah, the Jetsons, they had flying cars. But see, the problem with three dimensions is you've got to keep people locked into grids because that way you can keep them from just going up or down or left or right randomly like birds and slamming into each other that's probably how it's going to be though it's probably going to be autumn you know you could only do it with the tesla driving right right if it goes

flying you mean do you think they'll have that yeah because they would have to stay in a grid there have to be some kind of traffic you know to that people can't be flying all over like you say all over the place so you right so they'll have to have like lanes in the sky but by that time we're probably not going to have any control of it it's probably all going to be probably right yeah well that's why helicopters are so weird because helicopters if you get a pilot's like like when i went up with burr i was surprised at how much freedom you have like we we were flying around downtown L.A. He was like, let's go here. You just take a left in the sky.

Go right. Go down. Go up. Go around here. We were really close to buildings. And you'd be amazed at how many buildings in downtown L.A. have helicopter paths on the roof. And so you land on the roof. You get out.

You open a door. You go downstairs. You avoid all the bullshit. Apparently that's the move in New York City. Tommy Bunz was saying that, right? I think it's called, yeah. That's what it's called? Uber has helicopter now in New York City.

Uber helicopter. Imagine some chatty Uber driver that's flying a fucking helicopter and won't shut up. That's what Kobe Bryant did when he first got his first big contract. I heard he moved down to Orange County and was just flying a helicopter every day to practice downtown. Imagine flying a helicopter to the store. It'd be sick. Yeah. If he'd just go super baller, Kevin Hart style, put a fucking helicopter pad on the roof of

the store. How do you want it on the Hyatt, right? No? Oh, no. They have a rooftop bar up there. Yeah. I mean, the next door, the Andaz. When was the last time it on the Hyatt right no oh no they have a rooftop like bar up there yeah I mean the next door the end out what was the last time it

was the Hyatt you weren't even living here yeah it wasn't that long ago yeah it's been a while I stayed there when it was the Hyatt really yeah when it might have been 10 years ago before I actually lived

here this yeah that's probably what it was yeah it seems like it's been when what was it when that dude jumped off of it that was a long time that was that was before our time well it was the 70s I think because it was yeah it seems like it's been when what was it when that dude jumped off of it oh that was a long time that was that was before way before our time well it was the 70s i think because it was during the strike when uh people didn't get paid to to do comedy at the store right and the guy who jumped off they said he wasn't even good it's like one of those guys

that's like yeah i'm i'm gonna fucking do this for everybody. And everybody's like, hey, man, you're not even really working. You know what I mean? There's always those guys. That's one of the weird things about the store. There's comics that are hanging around there that are all working. And then there's a few people that will never work. And you know they'll never work. And they know they'll never work.

But they're kind of comics because they've done it a few times right they're more just there for the bar they're there for the hang the hang yeah but it gets weird right all sudden they're in your conversation and yeah there's a lot of people like that but luckily lately I haven't there hasn't been as many I don't think because I think they've been kind of getting called out more by other comics. Wow, this gets weird. It's, you know, can you imagine if that was the case with other occupations? You know, like CEOs of corporations would hang out with people who want to be CEOs,

but they never really started a business. They're all just hanging out together. It's one of the weird things about art. It's that anybody can create it and no one's to say that someone who sucks can't just figure it out there's nothing stopping you from figuring it out but something is like something keeps you from figuring out but you don't know what it is like how many comics do you know that used to suck and that became good i know a few i know quite a few i know some of them some of them who struggled early in the day and you're

like wow i don't know about this guy i hope he makes it and then look look sebastian had a hard time sebastian used to have a hard time now he's one of the biggest comics on the planet earth he's fucking huge my friend mark delgarate sent me a picture of Sebastian on stage At Boston Garden in the round 18,000 people and I'm like look at him look at him Like I remember when he was strong when he was first starting out He was he's like a great success story. He really is because he was a waiter at the Four Seasons He's waiting tables and also doing stand-up at night.

You see him... He makes me laugh. He's fucking hilarious. You see him at the MTV Music Awards this year? Yeah, that was a mistake. I could have told him that was a mistake. But it's still funny. He's coming out to...

He's like, hey, these... I don't know. That's like a bad like hire like uh it doesn't make sense nobody wants to do it who the fuck wants to do it jessel next not gonna do it you know who the fuck's gonna do it who you're gonna get to do it jeff ross would he do it he would yeah he'd probably do it i mean you could probably get some comics to do it that jeff could probably pull it off he's that's that's like his kind of gig fucking around talking shit writing jokes about it but sebastian is like he's sebastian that's his thing his thing is being sebastian right kind of old school you

know that's his joke like these phones you know whatever but you don't want to see him like host you want to see him do an hour set you want to see him do his set you don't want to see him do an hour set. You want to see him do his set. You don't want to see him host some fucking malarkey award show, a bunch of music that you know he doesn't listen to. He's probably listening to The Temptations every night and shit. Who does he listen to? Probably goes to bed to Frank Sinatra. Springsteen, dude. What are you talking about?

I did it my way. On repeat. Yeah. Yeah, he probably plays it over and over again. Yeah. Yeah. He probably plays it over and over again. Yeah. The summer winds came blowing in. Did you see the Phil Hartman documentary? No.

That was interesting. I didn't know a lot of it. They really, you're in it a little bit. I didn't know a lot of things. One thing I didn't know is how they gave you a part in the show where it was supposed to be Phil's character writing you or something like that, like a will or something. And they gave it to each person of the cast and they didn't let you read it beforehand so that when you were reading it in the show, it was actually your first time reading like this letter that was supposed to be from Phil. Yeah. And I didn't know that.

That was amazing. Yeah. That was one of the weirdest moments of my life, getting phone calls that he was dead. The phone just kept ringing. People just kept calling, and friends, and loved ones, and family members. It didn't seem real.

Like, who would kill that guy? He was the nicest guy. I wish you had met him. I so cool like fucking everybody liked that guy and he used to like to get high and go to strip clubs yeah he used to like to get high and go to strip clubs get high and ride around his boat i went to a strip club with him do you remember which one um i think it was bob's classy lady i think that's what it was called i don't think it's around anymore but he had an appreciation for these young ladies that was like it was it was almost childlike but it wasn't creepy he. He was like, God, you're beautiful.

Because he was high. He was like, you look amazing. This is incredible. He was having a good time. He was a really, really unique character. I remember there was a guy who was, some guy was blackmailing him. And some guy had filmed him at a strip club with his wife. And his wife was getting a lap dance.

And he was getting a lap dance, too. And the guy was, like, he wrote some really creepy letter saying that this was going to violate the policies. Because, you know, Phil had had endorsements and commercial deals. And he was doing movies and stuff like that. He was just blowing up. Got a Ferrari. You know, he was doing movies and stuff like that. He was just blowing up. Got a Ferrari. He was blowing up. And this guy had went to his house and nailed this VHS tape in an envelope

to his garage door. And I was with him on a phone call. So Phil's like, I'm going to talk to him right now. Come in my room. So I went in his dressing room. And the guy calls me and goes, hey, what's going on, buddy? He was talking to the guy like the guy was his friend. And they were setting the guy up.

And Phil's going to give him, I forget what the money was. Tens of thousands of dollars. Meet me at this place and I'll meet you there. And he had these, for lack of a better term, he had someone who's a dangerous person meet this guy. And let him know in no uncertain terms that his life was going to take a terrible turn for the worst if he continued down this path. But it was weird to see. Like someone trying to exploit him and the guy was so dumb he actually met with phil like phil knew who the guy was like he saw his face you know he was there with the guy and the guy was like look you know i just need some money

and phil's like i get it it's no big deal you know just it's weird when you see someone trying to like pray on like they think that's their way out. Like, this is my way out. I'm just going to get this guy to give me some money. I'm going to put it all together. You get it, Phil. I mean, I just need some money. He's like, I get it, buddy.

No big deal. It was just playing this guy along until the dangerous men came and talked to him. Wow. They also really focused a lot on the wife, which I didn't really know much about, about how she wanted to be an actress also. And she was trying to get Phil to put her into shows

and do that, you know, stuff like that. She was very resentful of him. Yeah. She would insult him. Like, insult him publicly. Like, it was just really gross. It was sad. But he didn't think he should get divorced because he felt like it was bad for his image he was like really concerned about his image because he was like this squeaky clean family guy who was you know i mean it was really starting to take off for him see phil didn't really make it until he was older in life

like i don't think he was i don't think he got on saturday night it until he was older in life. I don't think he got on Saturday Night Live until he was in his late 30s. Might have been older than that. And when he was on news radio, I think he was like 46. Yeah. So he had worked as a graphic artist. Did you see that album cover that's out there pinned to the wall yeah that's him yeah he drew that yeah he's drawn a few amazing things i was very surprised about that he's a super versatile guy he could do a lot of different things and his work ethic

was amazing like he would have a binder and his scenes he would have different color tabs for each scene and he would go over his notes and go over his lines like i'd never seen anybody do before like none of us did none of the rest of us did like the only the only one who's like him like stephen root was even more different than him because stephen root was a character like you played jimmy james and he in real life is like the sweetest, most normal guy. But when he was playing that character, like, he would become this Jimmy James guy. You'd be like, oh. It was spooky.

Like, you've seen him in a million, like, off, what is the movie? Milton. Like, Stapler. Yeah. Stapler, yeah. What is that movie? Office Space. Office Space.

Let me blow the piece down. He was great in that new Western, too. What is it? The Ballad of Scruggs in that new Western, too. What is it? The Ballad of Scruggs? Buster Scruggs? What is it called? It's a Coen Brothers thing, right? Isn't it?

Yeah. It's really weird. Have you seen that? No, I haven't seen it. It's very weird. It's very weird. It's really good. But it's like, whoa, all right.

It's just weird. But Steven Root is in it. It's amazing. He's just a real actor. It's just weird. But Steven Root is in it. It's amazing. He's just a real actor. He's amazing. One of those dudes. I would never do a sitcom again, ever, but I'm so glad I did do it.

I learned a lot, and it was a great experience. Did you see Andy Dick got arrested again? Yeah. Even if you and Tommy weren't buddy cops, you wouldn't do that? Going around shooting people with guns I'd do a sketch

yeah who cares who cares about TV anymore right like it's anything I don't watch any TV shows except for the South Parks

and the you know the cartoons and stuff but there's not like a sitcom I give a fuck about you know they don't really exist anymore I caught up on Mexican Joker

last night it was great right yeah I was trying to catch up because I saw their they have a new one tonight oh yeah they got controversy with china for those those are the guys that still to this day i look forward to watching every week they go hard in the paint do you see the response that traded uh to china no jim did you say it uh so yeah trade did an official response to china of them uh and that that's what yeah after explain to everybody what happened so they had uh south park had an episode uh that kind

of mimic or made fun of the nba's response or the president of the nba's response to uh china that was in the news recently and uh it's about how hollywood edits their films like iron man 3 has a whole 12 minute scene that they added just for the chinese release uh because they like make things to make china happy so they can make more money because there's so many millions of people in china what did they add uh you know i it was a scene uh of an asian doctor in like i think they were taking out the thing in his chest and saving uh his life or something like that so they added a chinese doctor yeah they added asians to it and i think they cut really a lot this happens a lot in hollywood i guess they they they edit for like a chinese version where they even add stuff to it

and make it more chinese happy so that so trey parker and matt stone made this whole episode about that and of course you know they got banned from china china scrubbed the whole internet free of everything official apology to china from trey parker matt stone like the nba we welcome the chinese censors into our homes into our hearts we too love money more than freedom and democracy what how do you say x i g i think g doesn't look just like winnie the pooh at all tune into our 300th episode this wednesday at 10 long live the great communist party of china may this autumn's sorghum harvest be bountiful we good now china oh my? Oh my god, he's the best. He's the best. They are the best.

I loved him. They're the best. We too love money. Say that, put the exact quote again. What does it say? We too love money more than freedom and democracy. I like how he said also, G doesn't look just like Winnie the Pooh at all. Yeah.

Just adding that just. Oh, my God. 300th episode. I love it. That's a lot. We welcome the Chinese censors into our homes and into our hearts, like the NBA. Well, the NBA thing is a weird one, right?

Like the guy, he's like super social justice warrior-y. He's always criticizing this and that. When it came to China, he's like, oh, everything's really good over there. Oh, the commissioner of the NBA? Yeah, what did he say? I don't know what he said necessarily. He definitely soft-pedaled. Yeah, he's flowing over there now to have a meeting about it. Yeah, and there's a chance even that I heard that he could even get fired from this

because that's how much money that NBA as a company is going to be losing from China. Now, what is the big deal about China? They just like basketball? Or is it just a giant market? Just so many people. Yeah, they've got them hook line on basketball since Yao Ming back in the 15 years ago got in there. What about Lin Sanity? Is that still going on?

He signed to play over there this year, actually. What happened with him? He took off. He was kicking ass for a very short period of time. He had a very good NBA career. He just won an NBA title with the Toronto Raptors. But how can people stop talking about him? It was a hype train that happened.

And he had a very good run of 10, 12 games. Part of it was he was in New York with the New York media train, the Knicks. They had a very good run of like 10 12 games he was in part of it was he was in new york with the new york media train the knicks they weren't very good they're still not very good now but um that it all got wrapped up in all that kind of oh and then he got sent off to another team and once you're in a small market kind of everyone kind of forgets about you the whole china thing is very strange man we got hit up by uh someone from huawei wants to come on the podcast yeah i'm like no thanks all good yeah oh the phones yes yeah drop some phones off that listen to everything you do follow you home that shit's really interesting that'd be like one of those

phones you leave at work and you wake up in the morning and sit on your sink hey no fuck what's going on here hey man let's be like a black mirror episode those huawei phones are fucking badass though that's the thing it's like look i'm not as good as this shit no here's the deal okay i gave a thorough examination i went from the uh iphone 10 Max, whatever the fuck the last one was. And then I got a Note 10. And then I got the new one, iPhone 11 X Max Pro. Fuck your mother, whatever it is. The Note can't fuck with it at all. The Note's just not as good.

It's clumsy. They're not as good. They're clunky. Their keyboard sucks. Worst keyboard ever made. I don't understand why people don't bitch about that more than there's you can add those other keyboards but they're all they're a little bit better but not apple just got the keyboard down down down it's like you don't

realize how much better apple's keyboards are until you try and this is only on their phones their laptops are dog shit well the laptops keyboards are are so bad, I got a 15-inch one. There's companies that take the old ones, the old 15-inch ones from like 2012, and they put a SSD card in it, or they put a solid-state hard drive in it and update the processor and update the graphics. They update everything. And they give you like one terabyte of storage. But they basically put all modern internal components into the old shell,

so you get the real keyboard, a keyboard that you can actually feel the keys. You actually feel where they are, and you feel them moving around. The new keys, those flat fucking keys, are just so bad. You're going to hate the future of MacBook Pros, so you might as well just switch over right now.

Because it definitely is going to become a screen on the bottom as a keyboard. Yeah, they're definitely going to use a screen on the bottom as a keyboard. What? Yeah, they're definitely going to use whatever feedback. Haptic feedback? Yeah, so it feels like you're tapping on the screen, but you're actually just going to have a whole screen in the bottom. They pulled that pressure sensitive off the new iPhones.

Yeah. So it's just long press now. I hate that. There's not press in because no one used it. Yeah, nobody used it. I press now. I hate that. It's not press in because no one used it. Yeah, nobody used it. I used it. I used it. I'm one of the few people because there's one thing that they haven't replaced yet.

Like a lot of the other things you hold down, it does what it used to do. But I don't know if a lot of people didn't even know about it. But when you're on the keyboard and you just like hold your thumb down, you used to be able to use it as like a mouse, like a cursor. So if you're trying to be accurate, you can see that. You can still do that with the space bar. You can still do it now just with the keyboard. You hold the space bar down. Okay, never mind.

Or just with the thing. It's the space bar. People don't know. Explain that because it's pretty dope. The space bar, when you hold the space bar down, you can move that cursor around anywhere you want. Yeah. It's really nice.

Yeah, when you're typing or anything like that. It's like having a mouse in a thing. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, man. That was one of, I was so bummed about that. I'm like, I was like, that was really pissing me off. Well, they do a lot of things that you don't know what they do. Like, a lot of people don't know how to make a screenshot or how to do screen record.

There's like a lot of things that people don't know how to do. That, it's, I i mean it's a really complicated device and most people use like three tenths of what it's capable of but there's so much better than android phones right now i mean maybe i'm wrong maybe huawei has a better keyboard but the samsung keyboard in comparison to apple there's no competition there's so much they're they're so less accurate and their prediction like prediction of what you're going to say next is so bad, it just doesn't work good

the Note's camera was very good I like the camera a lot, I like the focus video, you can pretty much do the portrait mode but in video mode which you can't do on the iPhone which sucks that's better, that's one thing that the Note does better that pen, I've never use that thing.

Yeah, me neither. It's cute. I like having it around. I like showing people, look, you can take a picture with it. You press the button. It works like a remote control. Never used it once. Yeah.

Did you see the new Essential phone that got leaked yesterday? Now, I like this. I think I've talked about this before, how I wouldn't mind a thinner, skinner, longer phone. Skinner? This is just leaked, so we don't know. Slepwalked. What is that? It looks like a remote control.

Yeah. That's the phone? It's a central phone, too. Can you show the video of it? Because there's a video of it that's really cool when he's scrolling through the operating system. One of the videos. Yeah, it's a new Android operating system they have put on the phone. I don't know if it's going to have, like, things removed from it.

So is it their own thing? I think it's proprietary for them. Is that a camera on the back? Yeah, the back is a camera. That's a huge fucking camera. That's going to be, like, one of the best cameras ever. Well, it's a really small phone. So, like, if that iPhone camera was on something so thin, that would look huge, too. And it's a really small phone. So if that iPhone camera was on something so thin,

that would look huge too. It's a very thin thing. It's like not even... It seems like it's almost half the size, width-wise, of your iPhone. But why would you want that?

I don't get that. Different. Just everyone... I mean, options are good. Hand cramping. Hand cramping. Like how wide the phone is. Like I'm constantly trying to lean over.

That's so weird. An Apple TV remote size it looks like. Yeah. Exactly what it looks like. I like that. Do you? I really do. Well I'll tell you what though. Who had, was it Dan Aykroyd? Who had the old iPhone in here the other day? Oh, Commander Fravor. David Fravor had an iPhone 4.

With the flat sides. The metal. Yeah, the metal sides. It's so small. He was showing me pictures on it. I was squinting to see the picture. They're so little. But it's so tiny.

It just fits in your hand. Yeah, that's what I like. Because my hands sore. It hurts. I bet it's at night. It feels like I've been typing all day or stretching it out. Is it really that big of a deal? My hands are way smaller than yours, though.

Yeah, but if you just got a smaller iPhone, just get the small one. I could barely reach over halfway. It's pretty big. But when you're watching YouTube videos, it's the shit. I'll tell you what. That is one thing that I have a hard time getting all the way over there, too. You guys have the Max, right? The big one?

Yeah. Yes. My girlfriend has the smaller one. Yeah, the smaller one. I like that better. My girlfriend has that size. That might be the move. Touch it.

Because it used to be a bigger deal. There was a camera stabilization for going to the small to the bigger one. Do we have any pop sockets here? We have the Jerry pop sockets. Give me one of those things. Nikki Glaser stole it. Did she? Well, I gave it to her.

I thought there were more of them around. Well, then that's not stealing, Danny. I know. Sorry, Nikki. She took it with some weed. Oh. We gave her about five pounds of weed. I hope she didn't try to fly back with that.

Imagine if she got arrested. She has a new special, right? Yes. It's out right now. It's hilarious. That's why I let her take special right yes it's out right now it's hilarious too that's why i let her take that lady's fucking funny she's great she's very funny but uh pop sockets my point was if you have a pop socket you just that's way easier you could text like a motherfucker with a pop socket just slide that bitch right in there like that pop pop pop pop

pop my new favorite thing joe is apple watch now allows you to record voice memos on your watch. So when you're doing stand-up, it's right there. So it's a perfect recording because it's right next to your mouth. One thing, though, is to turn your phone on airplane mode before you do it. Because then it sometimes switches to the phone mic. Oh. So what I do is I put them both on airplane mode. So then I have audience and then voice right next to it.

So if I wanted to mix it, I would have almost a perfect sounding stage recording. So it's two separate recordings in the same show? Yeah. Wow. So if you keep your phone on the stool, you're recording the audience. And then you have your voice right next to it.

Do you have to sync them up? Yeah. You just, whatever, grunge, band, whatever. Wow. That actually sounds badass. badass yeah that actually makes sense like a real reason to have an iphone watch yeah i like it also you could monitor your sleep now you wear it uh or i guess it's coming soon but uh you could wear it and tell us how many times you wake up and it tells your heart rates and stuff i already have that with this thing i I have this whoop strap. This thing is amazing. This thing, it doesn't just measure that. It measures heart rate variability.

It measures all the disturbances, how much REM sleep you had, how deep your sleep was. It also measures, because of heart rate variability, it measures how much you've recovered from your workout. It measures how many calories you burned.

I mean, the application that comes with it, this whoop application, is fucking incredible. I mean mean it takes a long time to learn all this shit but there's so much data that you get off of these things and it gives you like these little things to fill out little questionnaires that lets you know like here my recovery today is only 16 but i just got done running though oh so it's not a watch at all it's just a strap it's just a strap i like that it doesn't tell you the time at all. It has no readout on it, nothing. You just keep it on you.

Oh, that's badass because that looks cool, too. Yeah, and it measures all your shit. It measures your recovery, your strain. It's got a sleep coach. And so here with Sober October, we're all wearing them, so we all get to see. Oh, that's badass. Today, Bert burnt the most.

Well, how is he number one when he burnt 1 700 calories and i burnt 1 800 quarter because no no it says 12 point his day strain is 12.2 mine's 12.1 even though my activity was harder than his oh look at this it's on the internet they have a website sober october oh wow track it track it and watch it yeah because i'm a big fan of this strap this thing is really really effective it's pretty fucking amazing maybe ari's wearing burt's strap for him because he felt bad no burt's not even talking to ari they're not talking oh this is for recovery i put that it depends on what you're looking at i guess guess. Yeah, I mean, there's a bunch of different metrics that you can read.

Look, so you can read your strain, your recovery. You can read your performance, like how many calories you're burning, how much you've recovered, how efficient your body is. It just lets you know where you stand physically. It also lets you know whether or not you should push it or whether or not you should slack off. Look, we're asleep. Look at all that shit man it's incredible we're sleep hurt oh of course he's haunted by ari ari's the memories of ari drugging him keeping him awake

and i was gonna say on the new on the iphone something i didn't notice that you were getting close to was uh they added in the health app your headphone audio levels so it tracks how loud you're listening to stuff over time and it tells you when you're in a good or bad audio listening range like if you're listening to shit too loud you're starting to damage your hearing whoa so this then gets into the apple watch yeah they if you turn it on on your watch it listens to the ambient sound so if you're in an environment like in a city where it's too loud it adds that into your your audio health it gives you warnings also because one thing i've been doing lately at the comedy store when you know the back back back place where you smoke the weed you can download a audio meter that tells you how loud it is and so i've been

down i downloaded a long time ago it is so bad back there when there's a lot of people back there that it's like emergency get get out of that area. It's bad for your eyes or ears. It's like a bar. Yeah, I know, but it's way higher. Well, yeah, you got a bunch of comics back there. And it echoes off the. Oh, that's true too, right?

The concrete and everything. I would say, though, allowing them to listen to all these microphones, you're just giving them access to listen to you everywhere now. What are they going to listen to? Shit? Fuck? What am I driving a bank? Yeah, you're plotting against the government, Jamie? No, no, it's not that.

What are you worried about? There's an article that went around recently about this stuff called a mesh network that's created with some of these cameras on people's doors. There's a test that happened in the LA Basin. 700 cameras gave them access to almost the entire LA area because of the way that they link to each other. There's some watchdog people are saying

that even if you're smart enough to not do this, the person next to you might not be or your neighbor might not be. They might have it on and just because your proximity is close enough, your iPhone knows that your iPhone's next to it. It just goes, oh, yeah, you were here. Joe was there.

Yeah, you can't. It's going to be really hard to pull shit off in the future. And it seems like with all these Nest phones and Ring phones, or, you know, not Ring phones, Ring cameras and Net cameras, Nest cameras that people have on their front doors, after a while, everywhere you go, you're going to be filmed. They passed a law, I think today,

that the California, like body cameras that cops use can't be used for facial recognition. Like the ACLU got a law passed through that said like that won't be able to happen or something like that. Too bad, but we would have caught a lot more people.

That seems weird because that seems like when you would want to use it it's when you're a cop looking for bad guys it's like yeah but i think what's happening right now that i've been reading is like there's third-party companies are getting access to that stuff and like they can buy it and that's where some of the discrepancies because it's just happening too fast there aren't laws in place to stop some of these things from happening i just think that's just like a there's lots of gray area that people can maneuver in. It seems to be just a matter of time before you have surveillance everywhere.

Everywhere you go. Everywhere. Everything is available to everyone except inside your house. People are going to tinfoil up the inside of their bedrooms just to try to keep people out. And then you have the fucking television that probably has a webcam on it you know people are watching you fuck jamie they do watch they'd listen to the like some tvs have that stuff on to listen to what's going on in your house and what your they cross references audio Alexa is serious all of that is yeah they're listening to everything i mean even contractors who work for Alexa and Apple Pods and all that shit.

I think Apple's one of the ones. Is that Apple as well? Because Apple's pretty damn strict on privacy, which is kind of interesting. It's one of the reasons why Apple Maps is not very good because they don't collect data on everybody the way Google does. The benefit of the google data collection is you get like really detailed analytics on everything and so they know exactly what's going that's why something like ways work so well because there's so many different people

giving up information you know that's i mean it shows you where the slowdowns are and where the cops are and you know it's it's there's benefits to it it's super effective but the drawbacks are you're going down this weird road where these companies are selling your information that's what what google is is a company that provides you data they provide you information but they're also selling your data they're constantly selling what you're interested in like if you ever went like say like you're interested in. Like, if you ever went and, like, say, like, you're interested in a watch. Like, I want to get a new watch. Let me look at watches.

Every fucking time you go to any website now, those Google ads will be a watch. Yeah. It's weird. It's like they're just tempting you. Like, come on, Jamie. I was listening to a podcast about the beginning of the history of the Internet. It's called, like, Mintcast. This was a couple months ago

but he was talking about how like when arpanet was starting up in the 60s there are a lot of protests about just even turning it on because people were knew that it was going to be a surveillance system like sort of like what is happening now really yeah even back then and the ability it doesn't work if people aren't using it kind of like it needs to spread and get grow and that personal computing is sort of like tied in and came along the perfect time for this to like grow more like phones or is even the next the next evolution of it now but doesn't it make life better i mean there's pros and cons right and the cons we're all terrified of but isn't it amazing that you could just google things yeah like you know like i i said something

the other day that i thought was a line in a movie i was like is that a line in a movie and my wife is just googling it and she's like nope nope nope nope like how crazy is that you just find out like in a movie like how many goddamn movies are there you just type in something in quotes and it'll say oh that was from was from The Shining. And then bam. The lyrics for every song are on the internet. Every song. Every song. It's just the pros, I think, at least right now, outweigh the cons.

It's just we all wonder where it's going. That's what's scary. What's scary is the unknown. What's scary is this unknown surveillance state aspect of it all. It's better, it's better though. There are benefits. I've bought some of the ads I've gotten shit for. I do it all the time.

It's great. Oh, for sure. Well, John Carmack had an interesting take on that. You know, because Carmack is the guy who created Quake and Doom and all those games. And he was talking about Oculus. And we were talking about technology and people being addicted to their phones. He's like, yes, but it makes your life better. He's like, his take on it was, but people's lives are improved because of this technology.

And that this is, you know, like, yes, people do get addicted to be on the screens. But one of the reasons why is because it seems better to them than not being on the screens. Like, there's benefits. It's making their life more enjoyable i'm like okay but you're i see how you're looking at it that way but that's you know convenient when you're in technology to look at it that way but the people that look at it like in terms of like human beings and our connection with each other like how much of is how much of it is getting eroded because so much i mean how much how many times do you and i unless we see each other at the how much of it is getting eroded? Because so much, I mean, how many times do you and I, unless we see each other at the store,

how many times do we talk on the phone? Like I called you up the other day. I'm like, hey, what's up? How you doing? That was like the first phone call of 2019. I've been doing that to people. I called Santino yesterday. I'm like, I just want to talk on the phone, man.

Can we talk on the phone? Yeah. Like I think it's good to talk on the phone. I don't think people talk on the phone enough. I definitely don't Well we're lucky too in that our job We go out at night and we see each other We all see our friends

We talk There's a lot of folks who don't do that They see each other at work during the day And then at night time they're sitting at home Watching TV or staring at their phone And their interaction is severely limited Like our business Is a social business. Like we're always out, you know, we're always out and about and talking to people and interacting with people.

But I think some folks today, because of this technology, they're socially a bit stunted. And that's what I worry about. Yeah, I see it. A hundred percent. I mean, that's, it's weird that how it's, you know, when texting came out, everyone's like, who's texting? And that's kind of taken over from more people. Like, I know a lot of people that don't answer the phone anymore.

And email addresses, I think that's kind of on the way out. Who emails anymore? Unless it's like work or something like that. Like, I mostly text or I mostly message each other. I saw some girl complaining about people FaceTiming her. And she was like, she was like, did you FaceTime me for no reason? She goes, that's like just knocking on my door without telling me you're coming over. Don't just FaceTime me.

She was angry. Don't be FaceTiming me. People FaceTime people now, though. That's a thing. Like Chappelle's FaceTiming. Really? Yeah, he FaceTimes. That's the new talking with the phone open on speakerphone.

Yeah. Well, Killer Mike FaceTimes. He FaceTimed me. I was taking a shit. Did you answer? Yes. I was watching Santino live. Oh, man.

Santino was live on his Instagram, and I popped in, and he tried to make me join him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was all looking. I just woke up, and I was very haggard, and it was dark. And I was like, no, I'm not joining your shit. My eyes aren't even open. I can't do this. Don't be scared, dark. I was like, no, I'm not joining your shit. My eyes aren't even open. I can't do this. Don't be scared, Jamie.

Don't be scared of your looks. You're a wonderful looking man. How many ugly people would be happy to look like you? Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think you and Joey and my parents are the only ones that I answer phone or FaceTime. I'm calling people every day now. I call a lot of people. I always call my wife.

I hardly ever text her. But I'm trying to call more people. I think i call a lot of people i always call my wife i hardly ever text her but uh um i'm trying to call more people i think it's i think it's a move that's a healthy move just you get a real conversation a little back and forth a little laughter you know junk around with each other texting is just so fucking impersonal so bland open to interpretation yeah you know do you use the voice memo thing that the text messages allows you to use? No. You know who does that, man? Alex Jones.

He'll send me these long, Joe Rogan, what's going on right now with the deep state? What are they trying to do with Trump? He'll send me these long fucking voicemail messages

that come in a text message. You know, voice memos. Yeah. Yeah. And they go away, too. They go away after a few days. I save them every time.

It's like the gadget message. Self-destructs. Da-da-da. They have a few days. I save them every time. It's like the gadget message. Self-destructs. They have a save button. Yeah. People are into those, though, those little voice memos. I don't know why. Get to hear the voice. I guess.

No back and forth. It's easy. That's true. But my voicemail's always full, so that's a sneaky workaround. I keep my voicemail full. Like, get out of here with that thing. No spoiler alert, but screening phone calls over answering machines popped up in that movie, and that was like a thing that I kind of forgot.

Oh, yeah. You used to be able to do. You'd be like, hey, no, no, no. I'm here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you would let it go to, hey, what's up, Joe? Not here right now.

Leave a message. You'd probably say something cool try to you'd have some cool music like some white snake playing in the background i get so many scam calls every day now that i spend most of my time just going through my missed call list and then googling the phone number to see if it's a scam scam call or not is there a way to block that isn't there a robocall blocker what's your mobile does new New iPhone thing lets you block numbers that you don't have saved, so it goes straight to voicemail. Yeah.

Oh. That's key. Because if you don't have it saved, then you'll just check the voicemail later or see that they called. Yeah, I don't check any voicemails. All my shit's off, though. I have it on silent mode, do not disturb, everything. So I have to just make sure I check it every like 15 minutes or so

well for me i'm glad i got the note because i wanted to know what the dark side was like i was like you know because i watched a lot of tech videos on phones and stuff like that and i was like well maybe android has caught up maybe it is better and it's not still clunky fucking keyboard it's good for watching youtube it's good for watching YouTube. It's good for Googling stuff. It's good for Google Maps. It's really good for Google Maps. Google Maps on Android is native to Android, so it's actually slightly better than it is for iPhone.

But that's it. They've got to have a... When you connect it to your car, there's like an Android thing. Android Play. Auto, yeah. Yeah, something like that. It's okay. But a lot of car manufacturers don't even fuck with it like uh bmw doesn't even fuck with it they use apple carplay and if you

have an android you can go fuck yourself they don't care my honda has both which i thought was cool so you could it has the apple play and the android play yeah a lot of the aftermarket ones have both i've never tried android auto that's one bad thing about tesla though huh yeah i mean he needs to do something because there's no messaging app on the Tesla. But I think that's better. That way you don't fuck with it while you're driving. Yeah, but it's nice just to be at least like, hey, you got a text message. You know, or it doesn't have anything.

I guess. I don't know, man. I think there's something good about not fucking with that at all while you're driving. You know, if you can look at your phone if you want to, it's still there. But that big-ass, beautiful screen, it's worth it. I like it, though. When in the Honda, you just hit a button, and it just reads your text, too. Oh, yeah, like auto.

Yeah. Yeah, Apple CarPlay. Yeah, that does that. I have that on my Toyota. But, see, the thing about Tesla is, though, their navigation system is so superior. Like, what I love about it is it works like a phone because it's all connected to the internet. So you could say to it, hey, you know, navigate to Tom's Barbecue. And it'll just bang.

And it'll just take you to Tom's Barbecue. And it says, like, would you like to go on autopilot? Like, fuck yeah, I would. You press autopilot. Would you like us to change autopilot like fuck yeah i would you press autopilot would you like us to change lanes fuck yeah change lanes bitch he'll change lanes for you i mean it's it's so superior in like its application like the way the way it first of all the the screen is enormous right so you're you're looking at the entire grid of the city basically and you see where you're going a mile away it's not like sometimes you're looking at the entire grid of the city, basically, and you see where you're going a mile away.

It's not – like sometimes you're looking at like a little screen on a phone and you're like, is this next or is it the next block? Is it this one or the next one? With a Tesla, there's no confusion. And you get it on the front screen on your dashboard. Yeah, you see a part of like what's coming up next. You have to zoom it, like the closest part, like, oh, there's the left right there. Dude, it's so good. It's so good. And then driving it. Yeah. The closest part. Like, oh, there's the left right there. Dude, it's so good. It's so good.

And then driving it. Other cars feel stupid, don't they? Yeah. I tried to drive my Civic the other day, and it sucks. This used to be the coolest car to drive, like fun, and now it just seems so dumb. They're dumb. Yeah.

They're dumb. He's got me. I am Tesla for life because of this. I don't know enough about all these analysts that are predicting that Tesla is going to be doomed. Like some guy said that Tesla is going to lose 80% of its stock or go away, like some financial analyst. They've been saying that forever. What are they basing that on?

I've read that stuff too. They have competitors that don't want them to do good. You think that's what it is? It could be. I don't know. They're doing very good. They're talking about the new Porsche. i don't know if you saw that then you know yeah they're dope but guess what try to charge it try to go try to go like across

the country with that thing they don't have the supercharger network that tesla has and that's everywhere why wouldn't they have the same interface because the tesla doesn't know that you have a tesla right it just knows it's electric and it goes into the socket. Like a charging port thing? Right? I don't know how that works. I think that's a... Well, the one at the airport is just electric.

You ever use the one at the airport? Yeah. You got to put on the little adapter. But who cares? When you're going to the airport, you leave your car parked and you plug it in, you come back, it's fully charged. There's one in the middle, LAX? Oh, yeah.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah. Are they open? Like a lot of them open? Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't know. Are they open? Like a lot of them open? Oh, yeah. That's a game changer. Well, it's hard to get them sometimes because a lot of people have electric cars now, but I got one the other day. I was at the airport the other day. I see everyone got mad that you have to pick up your taxis and Ubers now

in a satellite lot or take a shuttle over there. Dude, that sucks. Well, they need that for the goddamn comedy store. Those dorks always park right in front of the driveway. You can't get in or out. It's a nightmare. Yeah. It's out of control.

They get mad at you. Like, you're not supposed to be here, stupid. Yeah, it's out of control. Assholes. But, look, at least less people are drunk driving. The congestion. To fix anything there is a great idea. So I don't know what you could plan about them doing anything.

At least they're trying. Less traffic definitely is great. It just sucks. You mean at LAX? Yeah, yeah. It's the worst. It's terrible. Well, I came home from Italy with my family at 11 o'clock at night, and it was bumper to bumper.

It's the worst at night. It was so bad. I couldn't believe how many people were at LAX. It's so bad. And then you go to Salt salt lake city and it's just smooth sailing ah you know you go to a night a smaller town airport like salt lake city is a goddamn hidden gem kids five o'clock at night five o'clock p.m tuesday night nobody's on the road it's just smooth sailing they don't have traffic their traffic is non-existent. The Mormons scare everyone away.

Like, it's beautiful. The weather's gorgeous. They're surrounded by mountains. But everyone's like, ah, these Mormons. And they get scared off. And they don't move there. Yeah, I think Salt Lake's great. I mean, the only bad thing is the snow, right?

Whatever. Did you fart? No, that was my lips. You get a four wheel drive Just get a truck You know And fucking You know

Stay home when it snows When Tesla releases Their truck They are coming out soon I sent Elon A picture of a truck And I said Hey man

This looks fucking dope He's like That's not really our truck Our truck is more He said What was his words It's more Blade Runner-esque that's what he said it's more than that picture because that the picture that i think you're talking about the

black one that's already pretty blade runner but that i could tell it's fake because if he's going to make a truck he has to have more of a bed space in the back right i think he's trying to make something yeah that's fake that's. That looks fucking dope, man. That looks pretty Tron, too. I like the lights. Oh, my God. It looks amazing. But I think whatever he's doing is going to look even doper than that.

But no one has seen it. He's somehow or another been able to keep it under wraps. Yeah, that's going to... How many people have trucks in the United States? That's going to be a game changer. I'm surprised that he hasn't released it yet because and it's american yeah that's an american product i mean all these people that want to like it's a weird thing like people like yeah i like fucking engines and ford and chevy you know like they think that's american well guess what else is

american tesla that's an american invention it's american like and it's good for the environment don't you love the outdoors? Yes, you do. Good. Get a fucking electric car. Drive around in that. Yeah, that's the best part. It's going to be interesting to see what it looks like. Have you got solar at your house yet?

Have you ever tried to fuck with the Tesla solar? We were going to get the Tesla roof panels, but our roof has the wrong pitch, for whatever that means. Oh, direction? Yeah, so we have another setup, another solar panel thing. Oh, badass. Yeah. But I think solar is, in California, it's a silly thing to not have. It's like you can get all your power from the sky.

It should be the law. Every house has to have it. Well, I think it's a matter of time. Tesla has these solar panels that act as tiles. They look like roof tiles. They look really good. They look like real nice roof tiles. But I think they didn't have that 10 years ago.

And 10 years from now, they'll probably have something even more efficient. The real problem is battery capacity. Battery capacity is the thing that holds back these electric cars. And they think they're going to be able to fix that too. And they think with new battery technology, you're going to be able to get more mileage and you'll be able to charge far quicker. That's going to be the real game changer. There's a lot of people that like Brendan.

Brendan Chobb, he's resisting the Tesla. I drive around, he's like, you're driving that again? He gets mad because he's like, why don't you drive one of your muscle cars? I'm like, I love those, but I love this. You've got to drive this, man. He's like, I'm not driving it. It's too quiet.

It doesn't matter. When you drive it once, you're like, holy fuck. When you realize how fast they are, it's like it time travels. It just goes, just cuts the distance between spaces in a way that no other car can do. I've never seen another car, and it does that without being obnoxious. It doesn't go, it doesn't make some crazy loud noise. It just goes. Whoosh.

Elon should definitely have an update where it makes your car speakers match with your acceleration. So you feel like you're inside a rumbling car while you're driving down. They have that with some cars where people get mad at it. Apparently, the new Corvette pipes fake sound into your into the car because when when they make cars that are turbocharged when you have forced induction with turbocharged um these these turbos they make the engine sound shitty like a naturally aspirated engine is the loudest most rumbly kind of an engine and when you have turbocharges it mutes the sound of the engine. I don't know why.

I guess it's because of all the forced air. They don't sound as good. So what they've been doing is they've been forcing fake sound. Like BMW does that. When you're driving the car and you hear the cool acceleration sound, it's kind of fake. That's great. It's coming in through your speakers, which is really weird.

They're about to release a fart horn also on the Tesla. Yeah, I heard about that. That's a. It's coming in through your speakers, which is really weird. They're about to release a fart horn also on the test list. Yeah, I heard about that. That's a great idea. I saw this video today, and you started mentioning something that triggered it. Have you seen this yet? It says, solar, a game changer for technology developed in San Antonio to pull water from humid air. So this guy, Moses West, he was retired, and it took him four years.

He developed this machine called AWG. I'm trying to find out what that stands for, but it's a big machine that literally makes drinking water from the air at very low cost, he said. Lower cost than groundwater. Whoa. He already has them in Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, and Flint. I think he's made 12 of them so far. I've talked about this with my dad before because I have a humidifier, and it does the same thing.

I have to empty out the water uh container out of it every a dehumidifier i'm sorry right and it has this big tank that when i use it i have to like throw it out and i was like that just pulls from the air and i was like dad why can't you drink it and he's he says it's too uh it's still water so you can't you know you can't drink still water right like it's not still water you know what like pond water kind of shit no like the puddle water it's not still water the water you can buy distilled distilled water right yeah it's not good for you got to add electrolytes to it the science behind the technology is simple condensation the same principle that creates beads of water on the

outside of a cold glass of water on a hot humid day The warmer and more humid the air outside, the better his machine is able to condense the water in the air, making it rain inside the shipping container-sized device. A spigot and a hose allow people to fill up any container with fresh, potable water. It's like an endless source of water. It's a water generator. That's really cool for places that are humid. I wonder if that would work in LA though because it's dry as

fuck here. Do they have any water in the air here? They must have some. I'd looked on the other day. It's 62% humidity outside. I was like, this is Ohio levels. Right now it is? It must have been a cloudy day. So on a regular day,

but is it ever 0% humidity? No, it's lower, but it's still not. Like I always thought it was zero, but it's not always. Well, if what he's saying makes sense, right? Like you've always been able to take a glass with ice and a drink and you get condensation on the outside of it. Always. Right. So all they would have to do is, I mean, if that works on a hot day in LA,

they could get water out of the air. That's amazing. Yeah. I mean, he's just, this is new as far as I know. It's probably not a brand new technology. He just figured out how to make it viable. God, I love smart people. Yeah.

Dope. I'm so glad they're real. Right. I'm so glad they're out there fixing things. I'm really hoping and i've i've talked to many uh technologists that believe this as well that technology is going to be the solution for our our environmental problems that they're going to be able to pull carbon out of the air is this it right here that's the machine that's him yeah he was the next year

cuts to him like filling it up what is this gentleman's name moses west powerful moses west figured it out and he's, that's like a truck container. Like it looks like the Look at that. Yeah. That's crazy. It looks like one of those things on the, like a caboose on a train. What's a caboose? No. Cab? Which one's the

cargo holder? I don't know. What are those? It's like the front's the engine. Right? Yeah. What's all those ones in the back? What are those called? The locomotive's the front the engine right yeah what's all those ones in the back what are those called the locomotives the front right yeah caboose is the bottom look at all that water they're getting out of the fucking air texas man plans to take water machine to the bahamas dude the bahamas is really depressing have you paid attention to the devastation in the bahamas from the hurricane yeah yeah you know eve edwards is from the bahamas so he went down there and he's uh he's helping out and i looked at uh some of the the video footage of the devastation down there the bahamas essentially

got wiped out i mean they got crushed by that hurricane yeah the airport was disappeared just gone yeah but pull up some footage you're been bahamas Bahamas? No, I've never been. Have you? Yeah. What's it like? Very beach. It was the only place where everyone was trying to sell you drugs everywhere. I was at Pizza Hut. The guy goes, here's your pizza. I went to pizza for some reason. I don't know why.

Because I was like, oh, what American, poor, cheap pizza. And the guy goes, here's your pizza. I go, do you want to buy any Coke? And I'm like, no. Pizza and Coke. I figured if you're the type of guy who gets pizza in the bahamas right you're the type of guy who does coke look at what it looks like man fuck look at that one on the right the far right the big picture go large with that look at that man that's insane i mean it essentially wiped out the island

see when when you're in the path of hurricanes on a regular basis like that and you're stuck there that's got to be such a helpless feeling like you know the destruction's coming basically every year well did it it wasn't this bad like 10 years ago right like all these people probably were like yeah we had a hurricane once 20 years ago, but now it seems like they're just getting fucked every year. Well, part of it is

because of climate change, the Atlantic Ocean. The Atlantic Ocean is a warm ocean, right? That's why we don't get hurricanes out here in the Pacific is because the water's cold. The pros and the cons.

The pros are we don't get hurricanes. The cons are it's cold to swim in. But to me, I'll take that all day. I don't swim in the ocean that much. Hurricanes seem to come every fucking year.

Side benefit of Tesla is that they could drive underwater. Did you see those videos of Tesla's like not submerged but like crazy? Really? Because it's airtight. Teslas are airtight because they have the nuclear bomb mode for the air conditioning. You know what I'm talking about? The radiation mode. Nuclear bomb mode?

So they have the filtration system, at least in the X. I think it's in the S, too. It's so airtight that if the air quality is bad or whatever, you can do the... I forget the name of it. It's not called nuclear bomb mode, but it's the nuclear symbol. Like fallout mode? Yeah. And it makes it so no air, it's only filtering the air that's inside the cabin, and it's

airtight so that if there's bad gas outside. How long would it take before you run out of oxygen, though? I don't know. Right? Yeah. Good question. There's only so much air in there. If you just breathe in air and blow out carbon dioxide, it wouldn't eventually fill up?

Or maybe it's filtering the air because the filters can, it's like wearing a gas mask. Like it's filtering new air into it. Yeah, what is it called here? Does that really work like that? Yeah, I think so. I remember I was watching an episode of Top Gear, and they were saying that the air that comes out of a Porsche 911 Turbo

is actually cleaner than the air it sucks in in downtown LA. So if you drive around a 911 turbo in la the exhaust fumes are actually cleaner than the air it pulls in bioweapon defense mode is what elon musk calls it bioweapon defense mode it's the advanced air filter systems to the point the automaker has been making incredible claims about it now how does it does it filter out carbon monoxide like can it give you a continuous supply of oxygen while the battery's charged uh let's see when those fires were going on i remember they were like a team i remember he was tweeting something about like they were like being used as escape vehicles to get people out because they had such good hepa filters on them yeah oh hmm that makes sense yeah having been in those fires myself

it's stunning how weird it gets when you're seeing like fire everywhere and then the air is just everywhere you go it's just filled with smoke the worst i ever saw was one year we were filming fear factor and the entire ride home for more than 50 miles. The whole right side of the highway was on fire. I thought it was more water than that, but there's some other videos. It's a lot of water, bro. What's so funny, he makes a wave that attacks this reporter. Look, he's like.

That's a weird feature. Because you remember those karmas, those Fiske karmas? They blew up at the dock because the dock got overrun with water and they all started exploding yeah that's fucked up yeah they didn't figure that out it's going to be interesting to see who steps into the electric car world like now that porsche has got this really sweet looking new car that's coming out but apparently it doesn't have as many miles doesn't go as many miles as a tesla all right and it's not as fast as a tesla right there's a few things yeah but that's weird like your porsche like why don't you have a faster car than tesla like how did they do

that like why would they release a car that's not as fast i think they all can agree that elon's 10 years in the uh past all the car makers right now oh he's 10 years ahead ahead yeah yeah yeah well makes sense i think apple's gonna have something pretty cool bringing because once you know if apple really does finally release their electric car you know that's going to be the iphone of cars and everyone's really doing that i really do i think elon even said that they are i have no i thought they could buy someone maybe or or put their name on something. But for them to get in a car, it seems pretty tough for Tesla to do it, to make their own cars. No, I think they're teaming up with Volkswagen.

And it's going to be an Apple car or something like that. It seems like an insane waste of time. Let's just go buy a Tesla. Apple has so much money, though. It's amazing how much money... They could probably buy a Tesla. Apple has so much money, though. It's amazing how much money that... I think if I buy Tesla. Yeah, they definitely could. It's amazing how much money that company has just stored up.

They could. They could buy Tesla and just turn them into apples. Easily. That'd be great. If Elon wanted to sell. I don't think he wants to sell. I think he wants to prove everybody wrong. When everybody says that the company's going to go out of business,

it's going to lose 80% of its market share. I think he wants to prove everybody wrong you know when everybody says that the company's going to go out of business it's going to lose 80 of its market share and i think he wants he's but i don't know how he does everything that's what doesn't make any sense to me like how does he do that and pay attention to the tunnels they're digging under la and pay attention to spacex and pay attention to solar city i mean how how the fucking one guy have so many different irons in the fire a lot of assistance i bet i'm sure but how does he rest like how do you rest when you have that many different things going on that shit ain't good like when the most busy you've ever been how many podcasts were you doing uh there was a point where with yours and death squad i was probably doing like 11 a week oh i was pretty much only doing podcasts they ruined all my relationships god damn yeah see that is just not wise right that's just too much it's too much to do when

people do that when they just take on too many different like i've i've thought about other stuff like doing other stuff i've had offers to do other stuff and i start thinking about it maybe i could find time for that and then i then i give myself coaching like i'm like what would you tell yourself i'm like what the fuck is wrong with you you're not doing anything else like you go barely do all the stuff you're doing now i think for me too as i get older especially like right now in my life my leisure time is very important to me like it means something and i don't mean leisure like sit around doing nothing but like hobbies like stuff that i do like lately i've been shooting guns yeah i was jealous man dude you should come with us i'm thinking about buying a gun you should get a gun you want to

come with us tomorrow um wait a minute what's today wednesday i might be going tomorrow we'll talk afterwards okay but um i'm going soon you know but you should come it's fun it's fun you learn how to shoot you're doing the tactical stuff that looks fun yeah it is fun you know it's like video game but some people get mad a lot of mad comments why just get mad they don't want you shooting guns. Stop it. Stop it. Think of the children. Stop it. Blanks.

Well, we're not shooting blanks. We're shooting real bullets. That's what it was. But there's also a game that you can get. We're going to get for this studio. It's a real pistol. It looks like a real pistol. It has a six-pound pull, so it feels like a real pistol when you pull the trigger.

It's like that techno hunt thing where you've got a laser beam that shoots out, and it even makes a noise like a gun, like pow, pow, pow. And you're shooting zombies. No way. Yeah. And it's heavy, like a pistol, so you have to hold it like a pistol. Dope. Yeah, dude.

That's badass. That's next. And it keeps scoring and whatnot. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It tells you how many civilians you shoot, how many zombies you got. Because sometimes people come running around the corner, and it's's a zombie and then there's a civilian behind them. You got to make sure not to shoot. Are you guys rolling around and shit out there or are you just standing still in that area?

We're not in a movie, bro. I know, but I don't know how much fun you guys are having. No. No. Instead of obstacles. I don't think it's a good idea to have dummies like me roll around with a gun in my hand. That's true. Somebody told me to buy a Glock 19.

That was the gun to buy. It's a great gun. Before you do anything, you should learn how to shoot. I've shot before. I've gone a few times with you. Yeah, for rifles, right? I've shot in Burbank at the shooting place. Oh, they have a place near you?

It's right down the street. It's fun, man. It's fun. We should have a Jre uh shooting range somewhere hell yeah have a just went before to that thing that yeah we shot all the hard drives yes that was fun man that was fun wasn't it that was rifle shooting is fun but pistol shooting um when you're holding in your hand it's way more difficult it seems is it more different you think it's more difficult more difficult to aim yeah because he gave me a rifle. And, you know, I shoot rifles so much or I have shot them so much.

It's easy. You just have trigger discipline. You just don't yank the trigger. Just pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, bang, and let it go off like a surprise shot. And I hit everything I aimed at. And he was like, okay, you've shot that before. But, like, pistols. I've only shot pistols at a range with no instruction.

I don't really. I didn't know what I'm doing at all. And once you learn like how to grip it, how to hold it, how to aim, like you don't really hold that hard with your right hand. Most of the pressure is with your left. And the grip is very – it's not intuitive. You have to learn it. It's something that you have to be taught correctly. And there's so many people there that are like they they shoot in competitions

and so when you watch them do it you're like oh wow jesus christ like there's levels to this there's guys that can pull their gun out and shoot four shots inside of a second in a second pull draw pull shoot four shots inside of a second that's crazy yeah it's ridiculous but they're just begging for someone to break in their house you know there's people like that out there there's people like that where you you know you break in the house you fucked with the wrong person well tent city's growing so i think i need to get one just need to move la is going to be a giant homeless encampment it's like if you looked at the spread right if it was a disease a deadly disease it was killing everybody and you saw a patient zero and then it spread like two people four people six people ten people It really is. If you looked at the spread, right, if it was a disease, a deadly disease that was killing everybody,

and you saw patient zero, and then it spread to two people, four people, six people, ten people. Now L.A. has more than 60,000 homeless people. And every single underpass that you go to, you see camps now. It's not like it used to be. It's a totally different animal now. It's like The Walking Dead, man, where it seems like it's growing like Laurel cannon. When you're going to Laurel cannon off the one-on-one, it used to be pretty normal last night or two nights ago.

When I went through it, it was like, you, there was no sidewalk anymore. It was like, if somebody wanted, had to walk on that sidewalk. Yeah.

Good luck with, you're going through Ewok village, you know, and needles and all kinds of fucked up and human shit. I mean, human shit's all over downtown la i've seen a lot of people shit and that's nothing compared to san francisco that guy zoobie who's on our podcast he did a bunch of posts about his trip to san francisco is like

it is so much worse he was saying it was so much worse than he thought it was it's so it's so beyond comprehension how many people are just openly shooting up drugs shitting in the streets homeless people everywhere how do you fix that and like if you would think that if there's something that la needed to fix out of all the things that la complains about the homeless problem is like one of the most insurmountable problems like what do you do to curb that how do you get these people homes how do you clean these people up how do you get them off drugs how do you get them off the streets how do you make it not a public nuisance how do you get these people homes? How do you clean these people up? How do you get them off drugs? How do you get them off the streets? How do you make it not a public nuisance? How do you make it so people aren't scared to go down streets?

Because there's certain streets in downtown LA where you see the street. Like you're at the beginning of the mouth of the street and you're looking down the street like, I'm not walking down there. This is terrible. They need to open up the mental hospitals again. Whenever they closed them down, what, in the 70s or the 80s? That's what caused all this. They don't have those anymore. It definitely was a problem, but it seems like it's gotten way worse, right? Think about what it used to be 10 years ago. Now think about what it is now. I mean,

this 10 years ago, it was still decades after they closed down the mental institutions, they changed the standards. So what it was, was they had certain standards where you would be institutionalized, and they changed those standards under the Reagan administration, just sent these people out into the streets. And everybody thought it was like really cruel because here you're just releasing these people with all these like severe mental health problems and just releasing them out into the street. But that was a long time ago. Something has happened recently, I guess, is the economy. I mean, I don't know what it is,

but another thing you're seeing around this area is mobile homes. Like those campers, like Winnebago's, fucking everywhere. People just get enough money to get one of them mobile homes. They just park it on the street and they live in those things,

which is just like a mobile camp. And you get these gypsies that hang out and they cook on the sidewalk and shit. We used to have them here. They were hanging out and sunbathing on the lawn out here. And the owner of the building is like, get the fuck out of here. What are you guys doing? This isn't a park. Go to the park.

You know what's worse? Sovereign citizens. What is that? There's people that don't drive. They travel and they don't to the park. You know what's worse? Sovereign citizens. What is that? There's people that don't drive. They travel, and they don't follow the rules. Like, if you watch Live PD, they have one every episode, two every episode. They'll get pulled over, and it's like they won't even roll down the window, and they're like, I don't have to follow your rules, sir. They never have driver's license or insurance.

What? Like, people that don't think taxes apply to them they don't think the law applies to them but that's grown so big recently that it's so many people now that do this shit and it's the most grossest

if you watch on Live PD what is Live PD? Live PD is cops nowadays it's a new show I think it's way better why is it way better? because it's live it's like four hours long it's live? live yeah live in the moment yeah they're like in seven

different cities they have a whole control center like all right we got a speeding going on here we got a oh there's a chase going on here let's go live over here yeah it's my favorite and they have they also have in columbus ohio where they used to but they just got rid of it yeah i didn't even know this was a thing and so these sovereign citizens like what are they saying they get pulled over and they say i don't have to listen to you yeah they pretty much say like your rules don't apply and they'll be like uh get you know give me your driver's license i need your i'm gonna take you to jail for just a seat belt you know violation give me your license they won't like i don't need to give you a license sir please and like they have this shit they keep on repeating uh like and they all go to these websites and they're like reading it on their phone

sir I don't have to you know do this and that and this and then they finally have to like break their window and just drag them out and arrest them

just for a seatbelt violation some people are smart and do know what they're talking about though but other people have just like watched another video and like oh

I don't have to listen to this guy I'm a YouTuber there's something uniquely satisfying about watching that get pulled over by the cops and he knows exactly what his rights are.

And the cops are fucking up. And he calls the cops on different codes and laws and the constitution. And then he winds up driving off. I've seen that before. Yeah. Pull over the DA on accident. They're like, Oh,

did you see that? Whoops. Yeah. Or that woman. Who was it? New York. She was like some kind of high up person that got pulled over. And she starts yelling at the cops and shit, like she lost her job the next day.

Oh, yeah, I saw that. Yeah, yeah, that was ridiculous. She was trying to throw her weight around. She didn't realize she was on camera. Being a bitch. Corruption, man. That's corruption. You're a citizen, bitch.

You know, everybody needs to realize. There was one where a judge got pulled over and they let him slide, he got in trouble afterwards as well because it's on camera you know and then someone finds that video and it's like hey man you're our citizen you're like us like if you're speeding or something like that and they pull you over you can't get out and act like you own these cops it's i mean you got to give your fucking driver's license. You got to show them your identification. If you're doing something that's an infraction or a violation, that's the whole reason why we have cops. Do you want everybody just driving 150 miles an hour with no ID and masks on?

No. So you have to have rules. So these are the rules. If you do something that breaks the law, they got to be able to pull you over and give you a fucking ticket and incentivize you to drive correctly. And also, find out if maybe you're running from the cops. So they pull you over.

They get your ID. They go, oh, hey, man, you got a murder warrant out for you. So please step out of the car with your hands up. I mean, this is the whole reason why we have cops in the first place. These people that think they don't have to pay taxes and the laws don't apply to them. It's all unconstitutional. Good luck with that case good luck with the ask wesley snipes how that worked out yeah it's shit they put wesley in fucking

jail for a long time lauren hill too from the goddamn fujis they put her in a cage for like a year right how long did she go to jail for and it was a taxes thing too man they get these wacky whether it's an attorney or a tax professional or some wacky advisor tells them they don't have to pay taxes and they read some internet thing it says actually it's unconstitutional it's only supposed to apply during wartime like listen pay your fucking taxes okay you can protest all you want you think it's unjust's good. They will put you in a fucking jail. And if you're a famous person that's trying to pull that off, especially a famous rich person, look, it's not good, but it is what it is. They're going to make an example of you.

How long did she go to jail for? Three months. That's it? She only went to jail for three months? Can't tell. Hmm. So she was released from a federal prison, women's low security all facility,

all female facility. Just the fact they put her in a fucking cage is crazy. Like, is she a danger to the public? Like, what is going on here? She owes you money?

How come, that's the one money that you can't just pay back. You know? You can't just pay it back. How come I can't just pay it back? Nope. Not good enough.

Get in the cage. Yeah. And yet, they take away your ability to earn a living for a long time. Like Wesley Snipes, how long was he in jail for? He was in jail for like a solid year. A whole year behind bars. Put a halt to his career and all because he owed some taxes because he had some wacky dude that was telling him he didn't have to pay taxes.

How long? He had a three-year sentence. Three years. Imagine that, man. How three years imagine that man because of money they lock you in a goddamn cage it's not like he stole money it's not like he held up a bank it's not like he was a violent person that was a danger to society no he owed some taxes he made money yeah and they had they're taking his money yeah he made money but he didn't give his share up to the government. So the government decided to lock him in a cage to punish him and to make a statement to everybody else. It's also like you pay taxes, you get taxed on your paycheck, and then you get sales tax. You're getting taxed how many times?

Getting taxed a lot. Ten times. Well, then that's why places like Nevada people like. Because in Nevada, you don't have to pay state taxes. So you can save a lot of money. Florida, same thing. Like I know a dude who moved to Florida because he was going to sell his business. So he's like, look, I'm going to move to Florida and establish residence in Florida for a few years and then sell my business.

So I'm a Florida resident and then I don't have to pay nearly as much money. If you own a big business, it can save you a ton of money. It's just weird that it's different everywhere you go. Some places just don't have state tax. You don't have to pay. Montana has different taxes. Colorado has different taxes. Everybody's got a different setup,

different amount that you have to pay for this and that. There's a weird thing that a lot of the big corporations have their headquarters in Delaware for some reason. It's like some weird tax law for that. A nice little tax haven. Yeah, something like that. Well, isn't that why the Jews moved to Florida? Didn't O.J. move to Florida because they couldn't take his pension that way?

Well, he owes money based off the lawsuit for the civil suit, yeah. But he has a pension right from the nfl yeah so right they can't fuck with that pension dude i gotta tell you watching him on twitter every day is one of the strangest thing and him talking about football so there's certain things like if you're if you're a guy who went to jail for embezzlement and you got out but you're a football fan and you still talk about football okay you're a guy who went to jail for embezzlement And you got out but you're a football fan And you still talk about football Okay you're just talking about football

But if you're a double homicide guy You killed two people with a knife And then you got away with it But everybody knows you did it And then you're talking about football Hey Twitter world Run your studs Let me hear some of this

Go from the beginning Well the fifth week is in the can And some things are beginning to reveal themselves He's talking about fantasy football all the time. Let me hear some of this. Go from the beginning. Well, the fifth week is in the can, and some things are beginning to reveal themselves. One, the Dallas Cowboys may not be who we thought they were. The Buffalo Bills' defense is for real. They are great. Teddy Bridgewater is more than a seed holder.

If and when the time that Drew Brees decides to move on. It's just so strange. What if you just give an MMA-like picks? Right? What if somebody gets out? Style Bender was great this weekend. Yeah, that would be weird. Hey.

Yeah. Well, I mean, obviously he was a great football player in his day, so it kind of makes sense that he's talking about football, but it is strange. And then if you look in the comments, it's all knife emojis. And you really cut me up with that one, Juice. His choice of words sometimes almost make me feel like that he's doing some shit on purpose, though. I don't think so, man. Have you ever?

Psychology. Look at that. South Park. South Park. Covered in jizz. It's so strange. Look at that. South Park. Look at South Park. Coverage's. It's so strange. Just grab a knife. Yeah.

I mean... Man. It's like you're never getting away from that. 700 replies. It's never going to go away. Right? I mean, that's who he is. At least now he's wearing sunglasses in every pic.

It's so strange, though. Every video. Hey, look at him. He had sunglasses inside. Took it sunglasses inside yeah he's got his glass those are reading glasses he's got him in his hand but it's all like jovial football talk so strange it's just what a weird time we're at where a guy is a is, and he's on Twitter. Yeah, allegedly. He's on Twitter and just talking about football. What do you think he gets out of that? Why do you think he thinks that's a good idea? Does he just miss attention? I don't think he has anything going for him.

He has to do that to promote signings. I bet he signs at malls. Do you think he goes to signings. I bet he signs at malls. Do you think he knows the signings? I bet he does that shit at the mall in Vegas. I don't know what the fuck he does. What does OJ do for money? Pete Rose type shit. He just gets that pension, right?

Yeah, he might be honest. He might be trying to build his Twitter account to a point where he could use it for that. How many people does he have on it right now? He's almost up to a million. It's 916 000 right yeah well it's one of those things where it's kind of an oddity right it's like an attraction he's going to be boxing screech any day now he's really old and he doesn't move that good but he's got killer instinct I liked him on Naked Gun Look he's You know

Before the murders He was a beloved person It's just Such a It's such an unusual Like society today Is so strange Across the board

You know like Look at us We're wearing NASA costumes Millions of people are watching Like what are we doing But what's the matter According to this TMZ Or

Bleacher Report Or TMZ article, I guess, it says that what he originally owed to the Goldman family due to 22 years of interest is over $100 million now. And they can't make him pay, huh? Well, that's why I guess he can't really work because they just take all of that money. Any autograph signings he does probably would get stolen right away. They take all the money.

So how does he live? He has to have a certain allowance? I guess that NFL pension. Or he has a friend who gives him money. Right. I don't know. Probably has like a... I don't know.

How would he do that? What would he do with his Twitter? The strange thing is, do you think that this is a calculated effort to try to start a social media business, or do you think this is just him just trying to connect with people? Someone has to be in his ear. There's no way he just figured out Twitter.

He's just bored and is like, what's this Twitter thing? Let me download an app. He has somebody pushing him to do it, for sure. Read an article. He's got to be the oddest guy on Twitter. Him and John McAfee that john mcafee guy oh yeah he's like halfway trolling people it's hard to tell what he's doing like what what he's

doing seems to be like almost like a some of it's very theatrical you remember when we interviewed him when he was on the run we interviewed him remotely when he was on the run for murder and he was saying that it was all nonsense. And I was asking him about meth. Like, how much meth? Are you really smoking meth? Like, I read an article that showed that you had a meth lab that you built in your backyard. And he's like, that was all fiction.

Remember? Yeah. He was like, that was a prank. I was trolling people. I believe that. You think so? Yeah. I don't.

He's old school. He's an old school i don't think he was cooking it i think he was straight up breaking bad in his backyard where was he in belize like where was summer really something like that but someplace where it all went sideways on him right didn't his neighbor wind up getting murdered that's why he's on the run right yeah what a character what happened to that what a character The guy was a fucking Antivirus mogul You know I mean that's McAfee

McAfee Antivirus Yeah He was the It was like Norton And McAfee Those were the two big names In Antivirus I wonder what Norton's

Up to right now He's probably hanging out In McAfee's old place In Belize Smoking his leftover meth Those dudes who Fucking escape society And go and move to some small island and get some little, you know, native girlfriends. That's a weird move, right? That's a great move.

Do you think you'd ever see yourself doing that? Hell yes. You could podcast from an island somewhere. As soon as that's possible being hologram style anywhere, that's when, like, you could have somebody on as a guest as a podcast, but in hologram stuff hologram style anywhere that's when like like you could have you somebody on as a guest as a podcast but in hologram form well listen if we decided to set up a studio like on an island somewhere and do the podcast from an island somewhere and we'd have to fly some guests in right like say if there's a few of us we just talk shit about the news all the things that are going down the trump impeachment this now we all did it from an island somewhere and occasionally we fly people in you put say if

you do it in on lanai right you gotta you everybody flies in the four seasons stay in a nice place has to be somewhere where there's no hurricanes though so they don't get too many hurricanes on catalina it sounds like what like jeff Jeffrey Epstein pitched to get people on his plane to come out to his island. Yeah, come on now. We're just having a conversation on an island. No, we're not banging any kids. We're just trying to relax. He's still alive anyways.

We can just go to his island. Do you think he's still alive? Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah, he's on that island. How funny is it that people just stop talking about the fact that guy got whacked? Yeah. For sure they whacked that guy.

I mean, out of all the things that i'm sure about that i don't know and this this is one that i'm most sure i'm most sure they murdered that guy he knew so much from so many different people and all the things that went wrong even michael schirmer who is like a professional skeptic who doesn't believe in anything he found out that the cameras were broken and the the they weren't working on the day the guy got off he's like oh maybe this is a conspiracy you think you think the guy clinton flew to his fucking island 26 times he flew with epstein well i don't know if he flew to his island, but he flew on Epstein's jet 26 different times. They held El Chapo there for quite a long time and nothing happened to him.

What? At that same facility. Oh, did they really? Yeah, like no one had died there for like 26 years or something like that since the 90s. That's what I heard. They whacked that guy. The most hilarious thing is, did you ever see who his cellmate was? No.

His cellmate was a fucking gorilla. Really? Like the biggest guy you could ever imagine being in your cell. The guy looked like, if you were going to have a movie about the worst possible cellmate you could ever have, it would be this guy. Look at this guy. Look at the fucking size of the guy. I'm so glad he's white. And he's a former cop.

A former cop built like a brick shithouse. I mean, he's enormous. What is that guy's name? Nicholas Tartaglione or something. Yeah, he was a bad cop. The cop went bad. But when you look at the size of him, you're like, come on, man. That's really his cellmate.

That's what he looked like before he went in. Look at that bad dog. And that's him now cellmate. It looked like before he went in. Look at that bad dog. And that's him now? Yeah. Wow. He's fucking huge. A huge, gigantic, muscled-up dude was his cellmate. And was he there when he got offed?

No. He wasn't there? No. What a convenience. He was there the first time that he committed suicide. Oh, the first time he tried? He tried to commit suicide. Yeah. He saved him.

What did this ex-cop do? He killed four people in a bad coke deal. Whoopsies. They had it coming. No big deal. Whatever, whatever. A bad coke deal. But how funny is that, that that's his cellmate?

Like, what do we got? What do we got? Well, we got a murderer that's built like a brick shithouse. Let's put him in there with him. He got some wet cocaine. He's transferred out the eve of his suicide. Like, hey, Vincent. And then they had the doctor picture with

Ghislaine Maskell at the In-N-Out in Studio City. It was just like, well, they put that out, disappeared, made the news, doctored, photoshopped for some reason. Where's that lady? No one knows. They didn't even know where she was at the time. And then that picture came out.

They thought she was in Boston or something. Out of all the high profile cases, out of all of them, that's got to be the most strange. Right? This guy has an island. On the island, he has a building that's colored in the, it's painted in the colors of the Israeli flag. They think he's a Mossad agent. He's some sort of intelligence agent. The reporter that said that he was released earlier was given a sweet deal because he was intelligence.

That's not been verified, right? Right. That came from one article, Divinity Fair thing. Right. A piece on them that got repeated a lot, but I don't know that. We don't know if it's substantiated. Jesus. The whole thing, though.

Jesus Christ. What a crazy story. This is the strangest time because every day there's new things coming at you so hard and fast. You can't keep up with it. This was his drone. There was someone flying a drone over his island. They stopped three weeks ago, I guess. But for almost every day, there was updated drone footage for some reason.

I don't know how this person was getting it there. They must have had a boat. Yeah, he paid something like $50,000 extra to have a cement truck delivered there a couple months before he got arrested. What? He had a cement truck shipped out to his island and they think some shit got buried in that tunnel or something. I don't know. Jesus Christ.

They have footage on this island pre-raid and post-raid of the FBI making it there. Yeah, there was one last week or two weeks ago where they supposedly saw him sitting in a Jeep. Yeah, they thought so. It was just like a worker from the islands. There's going to be

so many stories about this, but we're never going to know. It's going to be one of those things that's like the Kennedy assassination or something where decades will go by. You'll hear all these

crazy different stories. People write books about it, but you'll never really know exactly what happened. Hey, we should get this island. What happens to this island? What happens to it? How much do you think

an island costs? It's probably going to be cheap because no one wants to live on Pedophile Island. So this could be the place, Joe. Yeah. I mean, this helicopter stops there. Look at that beautiful water. I don't know if that's really smart. It doesn't seem like a good move.

It seems like you want to do like what Roseanne did. You get a place on an island that is already populated. A bunch of nice people. You establish yourself as a valuable member in the community. And then you set up a little camp there. Imagine the big island. The big island might be the move. Set up a fucking studio on the big island.

Hell yeah. What do you think? Let's do it. It's not a bad idea, tech observatory can we do it up there where they let us no they won't even let them build a new house uh telescope what if we take a tent and a microphone up there no they get mad at you you're littering temporary no all right no you don't want to be up there anyway there's no air so that's really hot it's like 11 000 square feet red band be blacking out we need to to have something like near Kona, like where the Four Seasons is.

See, again, the Four Seasons. Bring oxygen with us. I'm Four Seasons minded. Oxygen basement. Fly people into the Four Seasons. We rent a suite at the Four Seasons, set it up as a studio. Yes. Sounds great.

We have to have an escape oxygen basement we can go to just in case of a hurricane or something crazy happens. An oxygen basement? Or like an escape oxygen basement we can go to just in case of a hurricane or something crazy happens. An oxygen basement? Or like an escape room. We could Airbnb it out to other podcasters that need to vacation. Not anyone, but like your friends. Like a good friend of yours. Fuck that.

They would ruin it. Maybe. Farts. Come on. Ari's going to go there and fill it with MDMA. All the water. All the seal and the water would be broken. Yeah.

Trust me. Bad idea. He's going to put acid on all the doorknobs. Like Sam Harris. Someone who could go meditate there quietly. Someone like that. Sam Harris goes on those things where you don't talk for 10 days. Exactly.

Get the fuck out of here with all of that. He comes back. He still seems the same. I don't get it. These guys, they go on these fucking retreats. I mean, I'm sure there's a benefit. I'm sure there's a benefit to silent meditation. But you can take it and stuff it deep in your ass.

Fuck you. I like talking to people, man. There's not enough time in this life. You don't like to meditate? I do meditate for 10 minutes every day. 10. 10 minutes. That's not much.

That's not much. And I cancel it out when I do yoga. I don't meditate on yoga days because I feel like yoga is basically meditation anyway it's like a strain and meditation all combined and I cancel it out on days I get in the tank but other than that it's beneficial it definitely helps me man

I got too much just bouncing around inside my head you know but it's like it's controllable I just need to be I just need to get out ahead of it. You know, like today, today I went for a nice run, went running with the dog and I feel great, you know, cause I got it all out of the system and just like, ah, I did what I had to do. Come here to do a podcast with you. Everything's wonderful. Life is beautiful. It's all falling

into place. But when it's not and there's like loose ends that need to be sealed up and i'm behind on this and i don't think good you know it doesn't doesn't if i don't take care of all the things that i'm supposed to take care of i do not enjoy my time that's to me i found that like that's a painful lesson that took forever to learn that if i don't have all my ducks in a row and my t's crossed and my eyes dotted i i'm not happy i'm just there's too much just too much things to think about too much anxiety i think that's what's going on with a lot of people i think there's a lot of people out there that just don't have their shit together and they don't ever just say look before i do anything else i gotta get like jordan peterson talks about this he says just clean your

room like start with that you can clean your room and most people don't you keep your room a mess and then your life's a mess and there there's an analogy there there's a metaphor there whatever other word you would like you know i'm I'm talking about, Brian. Yes. So now that you're not keto, what are you doing with your diet? Are you trying to be healthy? No, not really. Not it? Fuck being healthy. No, but it definitely has made me understand sugar more.

You're still smoking cigarettes? I'm vaping a lot more, but yeah. How much cigarettes do you smoke a day? Half pack. Still a lot. Yeah. But I don't smoke in my car so i've my cigarette has gone down like because of that because of that like 75 that's good yeah what

would you think if we decided to do that as a project hire you a trainer and hire you a nutritionist would you be down with that sure like film it as a project yeah what would you like what do you weigh now what would you you don't have tell everybody, but what would you like to get down to? Well, see, that's the problem. When I got down, what, like 15 years ago or 13 years ago, whenever, when I, whatever, I think I was like 65 pounds or something, and I just thought I looked like I had AIDS or something. Well, you're just used to yourself looking big. had AIDS or something.

Well, you're just used to yourself looking big. Yeah, but I think some people, like they have a body shape or look that looks way better with a little chub on them than they do if they look, I don't know. I feel like I look like- You know what Joey Diaz said when he lost a lot of weight? Remember when he lost a lot of weight? My fucking head looked too big.

Yeah, exactly. But you know what that is? It's like you got to build up your body. Because something happens to people when they gain weight, your head gets bigger. It's like when people get really heavy their head gets bigger and i don't know if like a biologist can back us up on this some sort of science but it seems like really overweight people their head gets really big too like it grows with them which kind of makes sense because there's like your bones definitely get bigger and thicker when you lift a lot of weights, right? Now, when you're 450 pounds, you're carrying weight everywhere you go.

So everything's got to be thick. Like I always said, if Ralphie May wound up losing all that weight, he'd be able to kick a hole through a fucking wall because that guy's carrying around 500 pounds everywhere he goes. His leg muscles had to be gigantic. Like underneath all that, his legs must have been fucking huge. 500 pounds everywhere he goes. His leg muscles had to be gigantic. Like, underneath all that, his legs must have been fucking huge. So if you could

just put some muscle on while you're losing the fat. See, that's the difference. When you were on that, look how, you look great then, dude. Look at you, sexy bitch. How could you think you look bad? No, stop. that's an okay

that's an okay picture stop it you're a handsome beautiful man I was thinking more of the one how good does he look Jamie

how good does he look you look you look fucking great there I was thinking more of the time when the photo of me and you with uh that weed guy that died

at the 420 awards where I just look like an 8 that's when I was at my lowest. The weed guy that died. The one that has all the, oh shit, I can't even think of his name.

He has weed named after him. He's very famous. Oh, Jack Herr. Yeah, he had a stroke. Yeah. We were hanging out with him.

Me and you. And I just, that's when I was at my skinniest. I think I was like 160, 155 or something like that. I don't even remember. But that, I just look like a sick dog. Didn't you feel so light though?

When you move around? I guess so. Like you could just get places quicker. Like, oh, lighter. Definitely had more energy. That's for sure. Dude, you can do this. What would you think about doing this as a project?

Like we'll announce it on the podcast. We'll start it off. Would you be into doing something like that? Yeah. I mean, eventually. Not like this month because I have to go to Australia and all this shit. Why would I start it now? Would you be into doing something like that? Yeah. I mean, eventually. Not yet. Not like this month because I have to go to Australia and all this shit. Why would I start it now?

Well, I have to go to Australia. I'm going to be out of the country. When are you going back? Are you doing Kill Tony out there? Yeah, doing Kill Tony. Yeah. So this month, I'm on the road almost. Okay.

Well, I'm busy being sober this month, too. It's very difficult for me. It's fucking surprisingly easy. It's not hard at all. I do enjoy a glass of wine with a steak. I do miss that. I like a glass of wine, but it's not that important. It's like a tradition thing.

I'm missing something to look forward to, a nice glass of red wine with a steak like a gentleman. I think it's only hard when I'm at the comedy store. Yeah, everybody's drinking. Yeah, it's almost impossible. I do like a shot of whiskey before I go on stage too.

I like that. Yep. But I can't. It's almost over. Yeah, it's halfway. It's not even halfway. It's the 10th. One third.

The 9th? One third, yeah. It's been easy. The weed part's easy. It's not even halfway. It's the 10th. One-third. One-third. The 9th? Yeah. One-third, yeah. It's been easy. The weed part's easy. It's really easy. Show's been great. Had a great time last night. Did three shows.

I'll tell you one thing, though, that Jeremiah's show's not as easy. Stand up on the spot. It's not as easy when you're not high. That's true. When you're high, you can just ramble about nonsense. You come up with bits. I've come up with so many bits from that show, but not when I'm sober. Last night was basically useless.

That's the only show that I purposely do shots, drink, smoke a bunch of weed before I go on. Usually I don't like to get that stoned before I go on stage. No, that's the perfect show to be out of your head. Yeah. He really should listen to you, though, and rename it Thunder Pussy. That was the best name. When you called it Thunder P thunder pussy it was the perfect name for that i just need to make a new show called thunder pussy i mean it's not like there's the only he's the only one who's ever done a show that has people just making things up and i used to do that at the end of my

shows remember i used to have people q and a's call out but they would call out things to talk about and they would yell out subjects and i would just ramble about them and occasionally the reason why i would do is occasionally like one every two or three shows i'd come up with an idea that actually would come up and become a bit dude i just remembered something we were in dallas last weekend for kill tony and there was a bisexual on stage and he was talking about how he's bisexual and a lot of times when people are on stage on this show i'll be like on my computer like typing in bisexual on spotify or something you know to see what comes up and you come up like number one or number two on spotify if you just type bisexual it's you

and then so i point to tony while we're interviewing the guy and he goes like that i'm like you know what i'm gonna try to just play like i can't hear anything right so like i'll just play like because i do sound effects on that. That bit that I used to have, I don't believe in bisexual men. Yeah. Shiny, happy Jihad.

And so I just randomly like with my eye, look, Oh, it looks like just yelling something here. And it would be like crafty gay guys or something like that. And so like I, we started, I started mixing in just random, like picking things.

And then there's a part of the joke where you, I think you're talking like about if you were the gay, the bisexual guy. Because there was one where it was like, so yeah, I experimented once in a while. That was a different bit. That was a different bit. It's one on Shiny Happy Jihad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it worked so hard.

Dude, people were on the floor because it sounded like you were just in the back of the room like screaming. Like yelling it out, heckling. That's a funny thing to like, if you have one minute on stage, the first thing you're going to talk about is being bisexual. Yeah. Isn't it funny how like that becomes like for people's identity? Like their sexuality becomes an important thing about their identity that they want to blur it out to everyone.

But like if you're heterosexual, nobody does that because it's the norm. You know, it's the norm. You don't feel like you have to blur it out to everyone but like if you're heterosexual nobody does that because it's the norm you know it's the norm you don't feel like you have to get it out of the way you don't say well my name is brian i really like girls right right everybody would be like what i'm heterosexual yeah what but if you say you're bisexual people like oh my god you're adventurous yeah exotic people always tell you when they're bisexual, at least guys. Yeah, or girls. They love telling you. You're right.

But it's like a thing they do to get attention. It's like, you know, certain girls, they're always around guys. They just talk about their guy problems. And it's like, oh, groan. I know what you're doing. You're like fishing for saviors. You're fishing for some guy to come along and send you some dick and fix your problem. You know what I mean?

Like some girls like, God, these guys I date, they just never want to have sex. You know, those little bait traps that girls set up and you're like, oh my God, who's going to fall for this one? Stop. You know how it goes, Brian. Of course I do. Hey man, it's two o'clock. I've got to wrap this up.

Tickets for Australia, are they still available? Yeah. Kill Tony? There's some left. Deathsquad.tv? San Francisco next weekend. You guys at Cobb's? Four shows, Cobb's.

Woo! Oh, Friday and Saturday? Yeah. Oh, shit. Two shows each night. Oh, damn. It's Kill Tony mania. Oh, that's fun.

Are you doing stand-up too, or just doing Kill Tony? This, we're just doing Kill Tony, because it's like our yearly festival. Oh, that's fun. Are you doing stand-up too or just doing Kill Tony Mania? This, we're just doing Kill Tony because it's like our yearly festival. Oh, okay, cool. Is there a lot of comics up in San Francisco? Yeah, and there's a lot of comics that just come down or come up for this. Oh, yeah, for sure, right? From all of the area.

Okay, Red Band on Twitter, Red Band on Instagram. Anything else? Nope, that's it. Check me out on Ari Shaffir's podcast. I just did Skeptic Tank. Bye, everybody.