The Joe Rogan Experience - #1367 - Bridget Phetasy

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

Bridget Phetasy is a writer and comedian. Check out her show on YouTube called "Dumpster Fire" -- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5SQnm72FspDNUXK4cB2_xg%C2%A0& and her podcast called "Walk-Ins Welcome" available on Spotify.

hello Bridget hello Joe what's happening nothing I'm so excited we made it happen we did happy sober October this is the first podcast ever where Marshall is in the room oh my gosh I feel so honored you are honored this is a special one he's just exhausted and I knew he wanted to just lie down next to me my dog always comes through the YouTube show and we're always like oh she's gonna knock over the lights in the middle but you see her come in and out in the edits. Well, when Red Band and I used to do the podcast back in the day, we used to do it in my office in my house when my kids were really little. So I'd hear like screaming and crying in the background, you know, she took my toy, something

like that, you know. So thanks for doing this. Thank you. How's Sober October going? It's great I want to thank you for doing that Why's that? Because

It creates a community And it's super cool For people to just have that month of clarity I just think it's really cool I'm grateful It's my sober birthday In October So I

How many years? Six years That's a lot No that's That's insane It's You said weed's the hardest part? Yeah.

Are you sure you need to be sober from weed? Yeah, I've tried. Because here's the thing. Here's the kind of, you really want to know what kind of addict I am. I can do it for a while. So I was in rehab when I was 19 for heroin. Oh, Jesus. And I started using everything when i was 12 13 years old well

not everything but i mean i started drinking and smoking weed i mean i grew up all over i moved every year and a half it's a long story um my my whole thing sounds like an improv and like i'm making it all up but it was just chaotic upbringing but i'm from the east coast and then i graduated from high school minnesota so to give you we just moved a lot i went to like 11 schools in 12 years so i started drinking really young i started smoking weed right around when my parents got divorced and then i was pretty much a daily smoker from the day that i found weed it was like ah really oh my god i i like 14 i loved it a release was an escape was it just a perturbance of normal you know my my upbringing was kind of chaotic and honestly i think that i owe weed a debt of gratitude because i don't know that i could have been fully present for what was going on in the house and not killed myself or done something worse.

It was just too much for a small developing brain to handle. And we'd put enough of that nice fuzzy distance between me and the chaos. That's a good name for a band, fuzzy distance. Fuzzy distance. I'm going to start it it it's just gonna be me alone crying god damn i had no idea it was and so it was it was good except then um i it escalated after i was uh drugged and raped when i was 18 oh jesus sorry not to get heavy it's part of my story it's horrible but bad shit Like one of the things that I've had to come to terms with is, you know, I don't blame myself for that happening. But I, I do have to take responsibility for the fact that when you're a woman or a girl, and you're out getting blacked out, and in this instance, you're around people who are bad, things happen that are not good it's it sucks but you know if i had

daughters i would be like watch your fucking drinks and like be careful and don't get don't try not to black out because you don't know what is gonna go down there are so many people that i know that have been drugged yeah i know i know the the thing about that that's so weird to me well a i don't i i try and make light of everything because i have to in order to survive comedian and i'm from the east coast it's just how i handle shit like my family's from rhode island my dad's one my dad's one of 10 it was a roast battle growing up you know like you either if you were the sensitive one they're like oh you're gonna cry about it you couldn't survive you had to just be like on on top of it that is rhode island boston connecticut you can't you're getting roasted and you either keep up or

you're like you're out you're you're the loser in the family and you're drinking too obviously for sure heavily so um he i i unfortunately was like if you're gonna do that like use enough to make sure that i don't come to in the middle of it like right don't be an amateur bro like because i have memories of it and kind of came too so it was like i would have preferred just the nothingness of you know it being launched like stuck in my subconscious i think what was the whole cosby situation like for you then when oh i wrote a whole thing about it because i wrote this piece on medium um bill cosby raped me kind of because when i because it's a little clickbaity um because when all that stuff came out, I was like, oh, really, ladies?

Like, you're going to come forward now? And I had to stop and, like, evaluate my own. My own. Cynicism. And just response to that. Right. And writing is pretty much how I process everything. It always has been.

And so I'm like, I'm just going gonna write about this and see what comes through and essentially it was that internalized shame that had I had been holding on to was I was projecting it onto these women who because if if a bunch of girls from Minnesota came forward and said this sleazy dude you know drugged us and raped us back in the 90s yeah I'm 40'm 40. So yeah, it was like the 90s. I would come forward and support them and support of that if it was the person who did it to me. I wouldn't be like, come on, ladies, it's a little late for this now. But that was my kind of gut instinct. Why do you think that was? Like I said, I think it's internalized shame. I think I just I had not forgiven the girl in me, the young girl in me who who blamed myself. I didn't tell anyone when it happened. I, I woke up and I'm lucky I'm not dead. I'm lucky I made it to get sober six years ago when I look at how my trajectory was and so I ended up um like kind

of coming to and the weird thing about roofies is that you don't really remember so I like thank the guy for having it you know I was like oh thanks for letting us crash in this place I didn't even mean to crash at and I think um and then things started coming back. And one of my friends, I think something happened to her too. And it's crazy I'm telling this story just based on what happened last week. So I just went, we went to like the Apple River, which was this place in Minnesota. And just I got blackout drunk for like the next five days. I couldn't, I couldn't handle it. I felt ashamed

because I was drinking underage I had I was working in a restaurant I had a lot of um older friends we were downtown Minneapolis I felt super cool and my friend and I both have the exact last memory and then I have memories of like crawling around on the floor and trying to find a phone like just bad things and um I always hesitate to tell them, too, because I know there are guys out there like, yeah, tell me more. Just kidding. Defensive mechanisms. And, yeah, so then I just went bananas. I started doing hard drugs that year.

And you think you did that as a response to that? Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, I think I just was trying. I was already running from so much. There had already been my. And that was like a tipping point. Yeah. My stepdad was a little crazy.

I don't really publicly talk about it all that often, but it was like, whatever. And that like crazy stepdad. I think you can figure things out. And it was really chaotic. And then that kind of escalated my drug use. I found hard drugs. And like then I tried speed and math and I hated it because my brain already races. I don't need any help with that.

That's rare, though, that somebody doesn't like speed and math. Oh, I hated it. I hated it. Most people get on that stuff. No, no, no. You got lucky. I loved heroin. I didn't get lucky.

Well, heroin is like that maternal womb thing. I think it's also I don't need stimulation for my brain. I always wanted relief from this. Were you snorting it? What? Heroin. Yeah, and smoking it. Did you ever get to the point of shooting it?

It was right before I quit, once. And then I was like, I'm going to die, essentially. Because you realized, I've become that person. I was 89 pounds in 19. I totally had one of those hallmark movie moments i had been out here with a boyfriend and he had a movie and we were um just like it was like a sit and nancy movie i was parent i was doing so much blow i had delusions of like he had a movie meaning he was making a movie he was in one he's in a movie and we were

out here and it was just chaos and we were like it was this shit that i did how did you get into comedy um that was in not for a while thank god um i got dared to do that in 2010 basically and so somebody dared me to do it and the comedy store is where i pop my cherry and um it was on like one of those bringer shows and it was an absolute shit show like every fucking stereotype that you ever heard people were doing blow in the green room and like everybody it was like oh you were in the belly room then no it was on the main stage but it was one of those like me it was a it was when it was in like the years before the research oh that's when i was gone yeah you weren't around from 2007 yeah so you you got there in the darkest days oh it was fucking dark they say the darkest days were like 2007 to like 2012 it was dark and then my set

went okay enough that i decided I wanted to do it again. But that was many years after the trajectory. So long story short, I ended up in rehab at 19. And I was there for seven months. Seven months? I was in a halfway house. So you were arrested? No, I put myself in a halfway house.

But it was like... How does that work? Can you put yourself in jail? house but it was like how does that work it's like can you put yourself in jail no it's not jail then how can you how come you can put yourself in a halfway house because a halfway house is like that in between jail it's not mandatory so they let you put yourself they're like hey look i'm fucked up you mind if i just hang out here for a while i couldn't go home because of my home stuff and so i basically after two weeks my insurance was up. And they're like, okay, you're free to go. I'm like, no, I can't go.

I'm going to do drugs in like two minutes. And so. They let you stay? No, I took a bus and put myself on general assistance. And Minnesota, the joke is it's a Minnesota land of 10,000 treatment centers. It's like a great place to get sober. And so I put myself on basically welfare. And then I found a place.

And I'll never forget it. I called this place. And the woman answered. And she was like, I was like, hi. And I had had some guys try to do stuff to me. So I was looking for an all-woman's place. And this woman was like, you ever heard? I was like, hi, what's it like here?

She's like, you ever heard of boot camp? I was like, sounds perfect. I like hi what's it like here she's like you ever heard of boot camp i was like sounds perfect i needed that structure i needed something and so they i basically because i was on welfare they accepted me and it was like me and i was the only white girl i was by far the youngest it was it was basically a lot of women just who the judge said, like, go to this program for three months and you won't go to jail. It was nuts. Dude, that's an education. Oh, yeah. I mean, I realized what a privileged little spoiled brat I was.

That's for sure. And then I never, but I also hide behind that. So I never wanted to share anything. And they're like, it's all relative. Everyone has their problems. And I'm like, yeah, but these stories versus mine, they're not. I feel like I just had too much. So your stories you couldn't even share.

And then I started sharing them. They're like, damn, white people are fucked up. And that was when I learned it was really an early lesson in all this intersectional bullshit. It was a very early lesson for me that it doesn't matter. It does not matter what color your skin is. When you're an addict or when you're at rock bottom, we're all humans just fucked up trying to get out of our own way. Yeah. And so that was an interesting experience.

And then I got in my car and moved to LA. Well, your fucking Twitter feed is hilarious. You have one of my favorite Twitter feeds. Thanks. Wow, that's an honor. I either like or retweet your shit all the time. I love, well, I was recently in DC and somebody, they said that,

oh, this is Bridget. She's a Twitter celebrity. And I was like, what the fuck? I've never wanted to kill myself. There's nothing wrong with being a Twitter celebrity. Marshall's trying to say hi to you.

Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. I didn't even notice he got up. That's all right. He's my best friend now. Marshall's everybody's best friend. How dare you, Marshall? Yeah, he's a hoe.

Yeah, I forgot where we were well sorry you were you were talking about i got distracted by marshall intersectional oh yeah hi marshall come here i just don't want him to get no i know he wants to play he's just playing with him hey buddy you can play you want to lie down yeah i just don't want him to get in the way um um so you you were saying that you realize that everybody has their problems doesn't matter if you're black or white yeah i really learned a lot those women it was run by lesbians they they like taught me some shit that stuck with me my whole life like cluttered room cluttered mind i loved that one it was basically

like they were very strict but what happened was i learned how to be a really crafty drug addict so i was like well as long as my room is clean i don't have a problem because i came i came to la at 19 or 20 i guess and this was like 2000 and i started um uh interning at this website called buddyhead it was like this old music website and they were all punk and they had the number one gossip site for music in town at the time and everybody was obsessed with this um with with this website and then feeling marshall is a distraction here he seems like a little he seems a little restless buddy come here come here. Come here, pal. Come here. He's so cute, though. I can't bear to kick him out.

Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Say hi to people. Hi. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the sweetest dog in the world. Seriously.

People have been asking for him to be on the show forever. He'll do the rounds. He'll go to you. Hi, what are you doing in here? He'll go to you. He'll get pet. I'm fine. Then he'll go to Jamie.

He'll get pet. But I just don't he'll go to Jamie, he'll get pet. But I just don't want him to interrupt the conversation. No. It's a little bit of a distraction. That's fine. I'm all over the place. And I don't want him to yank any wires out either. Hey, he's going to Jamie now. Told you. Doing the rounds. That's what he does. They're such like love sluts.

It's amazing. Goldens are love sponges. So is my boxer. She'll go sleep from one bed to another To another She gets all the love Well he doesn't He's not allowed to sleep in beds Yeah

That's smart But he's He's very loved It's just I've never had a dog like that before They're just so different Than any other dog I've ever had Cause it's just

He's just a constant friendly lover You know He never gets annoyed with you He never wants to go lie down But he's always happy When you say He never wants to go lie down. But he's always happy when you say hi to him. Yeah. You just start talking.

Just like pure, unconditional. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy that those used to be wolves. I know. They turned them into this thing. I know. Over thousands of years. They domesticated themselves. Sort of.

Didn't they? Yes. It wasn't like a mutual thing. Well, initially. But, you know, there was actually a display going on right now that I went to last weekend at the, what's that science museum in LA? What is it called? The California Science thing? The one downtown?

Yeah, it's downtown. The one next to the arena where the football arena. I think it's the California Science Center. Whatever it is. There's a whole thing on dogs. Okay. And it's a whole thing on, there's one of them, it shows how dogs became dogs from wolves. And the slow process of their ears starting to droop.

And get cute. And their snout starting to shorten. And they became smaller. And I mean, every animal, and this is something that they didn't realize, I don't think, until like the last couple of decades. that they didn't realize i don't think until like the last couple decades for the longest time they thought that wolves were wolves and dogs were a mixture of wild dogs and cannons and all these different animals and they realized oh no these are all wolves wow like a fucking chihuahua is a wolf i just have such a hard time believing that it's hard to believe it doesn't make any sense that's like saying a prius is a car. I just have a chance.

A Prius came from a Corvette. I just can't. It doesn't make any sense. No. That's true, though. It is true. They found out that somehow or another, human beings manipulated through selective breeding. They took a wolf and turned it into an English bulldog.

That's crazy. But I love them. That's so strange. Well, that's... Yeah, I should let him out. Just let him out just let him out because he probably he might have to pee or something like that and he wants to go talk to he's going to the door because he wants to go get love from everybody else yeah all the security

guys fucking cutest dog of all time he's so cute i've never so good to have around oh yeah he's like he whenever you feel bad you just go to him him and he just gives you love and kisses. Their presence is huge for things that are pretty silent for the most part. When my dog is boarded or whatever, I feel like there's this giant presence that's gone. But you know what it is, though? It's like emotional candy. You shouldn't have candy all the time. And you should have people in your life. Yeah.

You shouldn't just be one of those fucking weirdo dog people. i don't even like people just like dogs you know just like candy i don't even like food fuck vitamins they're just eating candy you know there's people that are like that oh i don't go to dog parks because of that oh it's so true right the dog park scene in la is psychotic and there's always someone with a dog that can't control no that's been me before too when i was one of my one of my dogs one of my pit bulls was a puppy he was like five months old is psychotic. And there's always someone with a dog that can't control. That's been me before too. When I was, when my, one of my dogs,

one of my pit bulls was a puppy. He was like five months old, maybe six. I would open up the door. He would run to find the first dog you could find, bite him in the face. What the fuck bro? I had never had a dog like that before.

I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't know that like, okay, you can't, this is a male dog with his balls and he's five six months old you literally can't bring him around unless you like have him rigorously trained yeah and it needs to be rigorous like shot collar someone yeah someone has to show you how to do it correctly yeah that the dog after seeing two attacks in a dog park i was like okay i'm out no it's People bring fucking crazy dogs to dog parks.

Yeah, and I treat my dog. I mean, there's some leniency, but I'm very much like, it's a dog. I'm not one of the like, let's trust it in sweaters and have a birthday party for it. I'm like, no, no. We're not having a birthday party for my dog. Birthday party. We're not putting any kind of halloween costume on this patch my kids do all that shit to marshall they do all that shit to him you know they dressed him up like a

fish the other day they got him a fish costume i'm like look he's a fish i'm like no he's a fucking dog with a crazy he's like i can't move this weird outfit on yeah um so you were talking about minnesota and you're talking about then i moved were talking about being in rehab Then I moved here And then I went back east And then I was in the restaurant industry for a long time So basically I was in rehab and then I left rehab When did you start writing? I always wrote Did you always publish things?

No, I didn't know that you were getting paid to do it You were just writing for self-expression I started writing, I mean my journal Holy shit, from that first rehab. Have you ever seen that movie Seven? Yes.

Where he was like, that's what my journal looks like. Jesus Christ. That movie still fucks with my head. why am I still single? That movie still

fucks with my head. Yeah. I saw it in a theater and I remember driving home thinking I was going to get murdered. That was Kevin Spacey. Yeah.

I'm just realizing that now. Yeah. Boy, they fuck. Being creepy as fuck. Yeah. But one of his most brilliant roles. thinking i was gonna get murdered that was kevin spacey yeah i'm just realizing that now yeah being creepy as fuck yeah but one of his most brilliant roles well american beauty was another one creepy as fuck but one of his most brilliant roles i think that i think god i hate saying this you think one has deserved it I don't think I wonder how fucked up you have to be

as a human to be able to play someone that fucked up I know I know to go to that place yeah

I mean not just to go to that place but you fucking believed it hook line sinker yeah yeah

okay like the Joker Joaquin Phoenix I fucking believed it I haven't seen it yet spoiler alert I know no it's I haven't seen it yet. Spoiler alert. I know. No, it's fine.

It's been two weeks. I know. Well, I'm not going to spoiler alert. It was a dark week for me. I couldn't go see it. I wasn't emotionally strong enough. You get dark weeks? Well, just because of some shit that happened that was crazy that triggered all this stuff that we started this conversation as.

Oh, when you had the conversation with that girl? No, it was crazy. It was like a crazy... PTSD is real. I hate that the word triggered has been destroyed. It's been destroyed because it does... When you have had trauma, and there's a brilliant book,

The Body Keeps the Score, and he talks about how it lives in your body, basically. And he worked with vets. And, you know, it's crazy. Like, in this book, I've been rereading it again. And he's talking about how when he was writing to get some from the VA to get, like, a grant to study PTSD, they were like, no, we don't even really think it. It wasn't even part of their profile, which is crazy to think now. PTSD wasn't part of their profile. It wasn't even, like, a thing. It was to think now. PTSD wasn't part of their profile.

It wasn't even like a thing. It used to be shell shot. Yeah, my grandpa. I mean, I have all my grandpa's. I should have brought some. All my grandpa's letters from World War II. I mean, that guy, he would be getting bombed basically, getting underway every single day for months.

And he's like, the most striking thing to for months and he's like the most striking thing to me is how he's like i don't want to feel sorry for myself i know nobody would want me to feel any self-pity i'm like we live in the biggest pussy generation of the entire we live in just the whiniest culture he's literally at war and he's like i'd hate to be whining don't you think that the reason why we have such a whiny culture is because things are so safe relatively yeah i do definitely because the people that are complaining for the most part the people that are egregiously complaining they don't have real issues it's just so weird i always see this like i am fighting for my life i'm like no you're not

you're on fucking your couch getting postmates your your your story like when you tell your story like that's one of the stories that like legitimately makes you sit back and go holy shit okay those stories nobody gets upset at you know yeah yeah yeah it's a lit i mean i don't mean they don't get upset that it happened to you i mean they don't get upset at you expressing this like it's some horrible, disastrous event in your life because it clearly is. Well, yeah. And that's why I hate that the word triggered

has been so destroyed because it is a thing that people have to... So in this recent... This girl is my hero. In this recent thing that happened, it was like this person walked into a situation and she looked distraught and like long story short we ended up at a rape trauma center together and it was you said she walked into a situation it's like we it's hard to uh she gave me permission to like talk about this if it

came up and and so i'm okay with it just don't say her name. No, no, no. And I'm not telling her story. No details of hers. So I was in a 12-step meeting, and she kind of walked in and looked distraught. And I'm not one of those girls that's like, hey, welcome. It's not like leaving the fuck alone. Right, but you saw her. But I saw the look. This is where I might actually cry. I recognized that look.

It wasn't like I'm having a bad day in sobriety. It was like something happened. And I just made a beeline for her. And I was like, are you okay? And she was like, No, I'm not. And she said, like, something bad happened to me. And we left that there. And then we went out onto a bench. And were I was like how old are you and she's like I'm 19 and young you know and and I was like she told me what happened and something bad had happened the night before and um I was like well and I told her I shared with her I was like that same thing happened to me at your age and I was like and she's like what you know like that look of like relief that somebody could understand. And she's like, what do I do?

And I'm like, well, I know what not to do. And it's nothing. So and I'm telling you, it was like that girl is so brave. I'm like, what compelled you to even walk into that into the meeting? What compelled? I wasn't even going to go to that meeting. And then when we ended up in that center, like the counselor was so amazing. The nurse was so amazing.

It was like a warm blanket of love was just wrapped around her. Was she in sobriety? It was like, I can't, it's like not really my story to tell, but it was, she was, she was fucked up. Yeah. So it wasn't like dead sober. But yeah, so it was just, it was basically like my story that she was telling. So it triggered like all, it was weird to hear my story as she's relaying it.

And I'm having like flashbacks. So last week I was like, I haven't really told anyone I'm even going to talk to you or anything. Because my friend was like, so what have you been doing to get ready? I'm like, well, I've been crying a lot and eating a lot of cake. To get ready to talk here? Just like, because they're like, yeah, it's just Joe in a conversation. But I think people think it's like, you know. Some people it is.

It is. Well, things get weird with people when there's an event coming yeah well and it was my anniversary of six years which always is like oh that happened that was friday so um it was amazing you know it was amazingly healing like to to be able to just it was one of those moments where um there's there's where something bad that happened to me i was like oh suddenly this has meaning like i can use this to help someone else and that's you know i've interviewed this really brilliant woman who escaped from like um a million things and her whole thing is like if you what good is our freedom if we can't use it to liberate somebody else and you know come circling back to like the world war ii in this generation

ayan um hershey ali says that basically this generation is like they're like trust fund babies with freedom because they're so far removed from having to fight for freedom that they just take it for granted that's an interesting way of describing it yeah trust fund babies with freedom that's and she's just brilliant she is brilliant that is a that's that's a great way to look at it too but it's very hard for people um without struggle i think people don't know what to do yeah and they they create problems that don't exist it's a very common thing i think human beings are designed to uh deal with so many different problems that could come up in your environment whether it's physical threats danger um all these different things um community all

these different things that you're designed to handle and when those things aren't there your your brain and your body starts to manufacture things. Right. A lot of people that you see that create drama online. Yeah. You know, like there's so many people that I follow secretly. This is what I do. I bookmark their Twitter page and then I go to it.

Just when I need like a dose of madness. Yeah. And there's YouTube videos like that as well. And, you know, there used to be blogs you could go and read where people were just obviously their real life is so meaningless that they're seeking all of this drama online. They're seeking this distraction online. And there's people that I follow that are involved in arguments 12, 14 hours a day.

I know. And I can relate, okay? I truly can relate because I've been mad. Madness, like crazy. I've been crazy before. And I'm still definitely a little crazy. But I get it now. I know what it is that makes me crazy.

No. Oh. No. How do you know? How did you figure out you were crazy? How did you self-ref were crazy Like how do you How did you self reflect I guess

I think I think a lot I know I'm honest with myself Yeah yeah Isolation tank Drugs The drugs that have helped me

Like psychedelic drugs Yeah Although those are Whatever you tell your therapist You could lie to your therapist You can't lie to mushrooms Yeah Mushrooms go

What bitch Look at this Woo Yeah yeah i'll show you everything and so yeah and edible pot all those different things all those different things will show you all the real problems that you have but i i know what these people are doing i know that it's a site people get caught in cycles of of of like creating bullshit and and then they get in cycles of creating bullshit. And then they get in cycles of festering it. You know Jamie Kilstein? Yeah. Jamie is a reformed super social justice warrior.

One of the things that Jamie told me is that he would say something about someone. Like, this guy's a Nazi and a piece of shit. He would say it on Twitter. And then he would be glued to his phone looking at every response you know every response that came in on twitter and he'd be reacting to it or freaking out or angry or getting love from it or getting getting anxiety from it and the people turn on him he'd be like no yeah and then he would fucking fuck you and go back at him and it's just like this thing where you're trapped in it you're trapped in it all day yeah yeah fazel and i were talking about this the kid from

iraq who was on my podcast and he was i was like it's so weird and you know they and all those like dystopian books it was like this wreckage everywhere and then you plug in to get to a better place and i feel like when i unplug it's like a Disney movie you know like I'm like and then I plug in and it's like chaos I don't want a flip phone I don't want a flip phone I want one I know I know I like taking pictures of things and I like having the option but I've done much better over the last six months of being way more disciplined with my time yeah yeah you know like sometimes I'll have I go I check my phone and i go don't don't do it so i'm like giving myself advice like the same way i've become my own therapist yeah i've given myself i give myself advice on don't just randomly just start reading google stories yeah yeah you know i go i'll look for

information i'm like there must be something but some of the funniest things that you do like my favorite of your routines are your rabbit holes when you take us yeah through your internet rabbit holes those are like my favorite bits that you do because i can cat yeah because i can identify so much with that like you'll be and i always joke like i know i'm in trouble when it's like maybe 9-11 was an inside job because all roads lead to 9-11 was an inside job on the internet. Yes, all roads lead to Tower 7. Every single one.

If you're finding yourself like, hmm, what did happen there? You're like, okay, get off. Well, the problem is, no matter what the subject is, even if it's completely ridiculous, you can find someone with a compelling argument that it makes sense. And then you watch a YouTube video. And the problem with YouTube videos is, too, there's no one standing there going, that didn't happen.

That's not what he said. That's not real. No, no, no, no, no. Architects and engineers do not love intruders. Not all the architects. Hold on. Hold on. Let's get a real structural engineer.

Hold on. No, no, no. You're missing 30 seconds of that video where the center of the building collapsed. Hold on. Let's get a real structural engineer. Hold on. No, no, no. You're missing 30 seconds of that video where the center of the building collapsed. Hold on. That happened minutes before. Hold on. That's when the beams were cut during the demolition of the building. That's not what happened.

You need all that. You need the fact checking. It's so hard. You don't. Because you get a flat earth video. You'll start watching those motherfuckers. You're like, what? Is this real?

Are we really on a disc? I watched that Zeitgeist movie or whatever. I'm like, there's some good points and there's nothing. Zeitgeist is not. That's Peter Joseph's movie. That's not completely preposterous. Yeah, no. That's a very good movie.

Yeah. But it's not. I think any time Anytime Like if someone Wanted to write a blog On you Like this is Bridget This is Bridget Phetasy There's not

There's Just one voice That's not you That's someone Writing about you If you were there You'd be like Well that's not entirely true

And yeah I'm like that sometimes But 99% of the time I'm not like that Yeah yeah You can't cherry pick The worst aspects of me And write a blog about it. You'd be able to say that.

But people do that. Yeah, they do do that. I mean, that actually. But it's not real. No, it's not. And that's the problem with someone writing a blog about you or making a YouTube video about you. Right.

Or even tweeting about you. If they went on a tweet storm. You know, I read Bridget's Twitter feed and she's a fucking rancid cunt and this is all the problems with her. Why do they do that? I mean, it's interesting too because you are very public. I am very public. There's a lot of material

for people to draw from, but still they don't see me cleaning up my dog's shit in the backyard. That's me. You're the whole of you. Yeah, the whole. I have friends that have done stupid shit and someone said that guy's a piece of shit i'm like no he's not he did

a piece of shit thing right one time like who hasn't who among us don't tell me he's not a good guy i've known him for fucking 20 years i love him to death like yeah people are not a thing a one thing there are a bunch of things and the problem with like some like internet interaction is so incredibly limited because whether it's through twitter feeds or or blog posts or whatever it is it's it's a shit way to to get the whole picture across especially when you're defining a person yeah if you or or discussing a subject like it's a good way to get your thoughts across at that very moment yeah but if you're like if you want to tell me that vaccines cause all these fucking horrible diseases and i'm like okay we hold up stop let's get some scientists in here yeah let's let's get

some people let's have a fucking four-hour discussion about this and let's bring up peer-reviewed studies yeah let's find out what the fuck is going on you know can veganism really cure diabetes and cancer and it's is all that shit really caused by meat well hold on let's get some scientists in here let's talk let's talk to people that have actually reviewed the data because there's so many goddamn documentaries and so many goddamn videos i know to tell you and you can find anything to confirm anything you want to believe that's the craziest thing and there's and there's no check on that belief. It is truly confirmation bias. You're like, here's what I believe, and now I'm going to seek out things to confirm that.

You should be seeking out things to debunk that belief. Yes. If you're trying to be intellectually honest. Right. But most people, it's not even really in our wiring to want to do that we just want to be right you know we want to be no i have some friends that believe every fucking conspiracy theory that comes on the pipe and conspiracy theories are fun i always send them debunking things they get mad at me you're like no that's not it's but it's so easy to go down

that it's it is a weird um you we all kind of become like two-dimensional abstractions online. Yes. So I had friends that I waited tables with. And then what happened to me kind of getting caught in the crossfire of the culture wars is that I just noticed I wasn't saying things that I wanted to say. And I was like, why aren't I tweeting these things? It was weird to me. I'm like, huh, huh that's weird why am I self-censoring and then I realized because it was and then once I started saying those things I was like oh this is why I'm not saying yeah you don't want to get in the war but I didn't even know the war was going on there was always going on I was an idiot

I was drunk and waitressing and I put my head up in 2015 and was like, there's a war? When people are expressing controversial opinions, there's always a war. And you know, on the flip side of it, there's certain people that want to believe the official story about everything. And they're just as annoying as the people that want to believe every conspiracy. I was not aware that the war included controversial opinions like boys and girls are different. I didn't know that the thing had gone, the war had new rules. And Michael Malice always gives me shit. When I was on his podcast, because I've been doing all this, when you start kind of speaking out against the left, you end up on right-wing media.

Because they're the only people who will have a conversation with you. Isn't that crazy now? Yeah it's crazy. So I go on like Glenn Beck and I'm like did you know that the left has different rules for themselves? And he's like yeah no shit but yeah we knew that. We've been aware of this and I'm just like this moron

who's like can you believe these double standards? Well if you're not deeply entrenched in that culture war you wouldn't understand how far it's gone and i was like literally just getting high waiting tables trying to make jokes trying to maybe get some of that tv money sell a show and and like trying to pay my bills every single month this past fe past February was the first time since I was 17 that I knew how I was going to pay two months of bills. Like, that's a long time to be.

Congratulations. Thank you. I have some friends that are blissfully unaware, and occasionally I'll send them things. Like, I have a friend of mine, and I was sending this article about all these different track and field events that are being won by men now.

Oh, God. Men who identify as women. Not only that men that identify as women, but do you know that in some places you don't even have to take hormones? All you have to do is identify. Oh, no way. Oh, yes way.

Yes. That's crazy. Particularly high school kids. You can't force them to take hormones. All they have to do is identify as a woman. It's different everywhere because no one knows what the fuck is going on so there's all these different rules everywhere you go i was getting my eyebrows done and my the woman who does my eyebrows is vietnamese and she was telling me

that her kids got their ears pierced and she's like oh i went and like my the kids they got their ears pierced and my daughter who's not 16 yet wanted one in the like top of her earlobe and the guy was like oh no she has to be 16 to do that and i was like yeah yeah she can take years, Pearson, my daughter, who's not 16 yet, wanted one in the top of her earlobe. And the guy was like, oh no, she has to be 16 to do that. And I was like, yet she can take hormones? The youngest of kids. I was like, this is the stupidest state ever. I was reading an article about this guy who's losing custody of his son because he wouldn't let his son transition at six his son went to his wife

and the wife and him split up and the wife wanted to chemically castrate the boy and give him hormone blockers because she had decided that the boy was a girl whether or not the boy decided or not they still were talking about a young young. And the guy was being ordered by the state that he had to refer to the boy. I don't believe it was California. He had to refer to the boy as a girl. And he had to, and he was going to have only supervised custody now because he wasn't referring to, he was not allowed to misgender his son. His son was no longer a son. I can't.

His son was now a girl. Well, here's the thing about all that shit. It's like no one wants to fight against the mob of the left, but no one, there's no established science on any of this stuff and everyone's different. I mean, are there people that are trans? Yeah, for sure. Of course. Are there young people that know that they are a girl from the

time that they're young and they're trapped in a boy's body there's so many of them to say they are i would be an asshole to deny that right but how how what do we know about this how much do we know about this and how much should we interfere with their hormonal hormonal development well it's so important to like brain functioning isn't it not just that not just that and brain development and don't you change your come gay men if you right if you leave them alone they just become gay men there's a lot you know i've seen this online there's like a lot of pushback from some communities saying that it's very um anti-woman and homophobic that a lot of these things are kind of a rate it's like just what's anti-woman is the competition well that and also just like i can't you know sometimes you'll see examples of um women can't

talk about their periods or something because it makes like a trans woman feel bad or if you you know so there's this erasure of like me being able to talk about something because it's it's like that's weird to me too i should be able to talk about my experience as a woman and not worry you're ruining the experience for trans people but see that stop just it's all about compliance i mean that's what most of this is about all these nutbags that are tweeting the ones that i follow they're tweeting 12 hours a day it's about compliance i mean most of what they're doing is trying to get there's one that i tweeted the other day um over and over and over again in all caps she wrote any gender can have their period any gender can yeah no i'm not playing i'm not playing this game this is where

i draw the line i know that we just got demonetized but we're demonetized as fuck as soon as i said cunt it was over oh i'm not i i can't there that's the thing i'm like do whatever you fucking want i wanted to be a turtle when i was like six you know a real turtle or a real turtle like live in the super no not all turtles live in sewers i wanted to be like a sea turtle like a ninja no i wanted to be like A turtle in the Bahamas I didn't even know there was a difference Between a turtle and a tortoise Until I was 30

Oh I know I don't think I was aware of that I thought it was just a different name for turtles There's so much we don't know A ground turtle and a water turtle They're all fucking turtles I don't know anything really And so that's the beauty

Which ones lived like hundreds of years? Tortoise? Or sea turtles do too though Oh I think so yeah but there's tortoises in joshua tree oh yeah right yeah i think they're yeah they're tortoises yeah i've seen them they tag i want to be a ranger in joshua they're there for when you're tripping give you something that's why they're there they're like what the fuck god put them there yeah it's like nature's little like little treat it's an artifact so when you're tripping you can how many people have tripped in joshua tree versus not tripped in joshua tree i don't know it's like 30 70 trip versus not trip i feel like i go enough to kind of offset i go sober a lot now yeah like once a quarter so i'm offsetting those numbers do you

ever do anything like isolation tank you ever do that i've always wanted to i have one here if you want to do it yeah i do i've always wanted to do that um i do i i want to kind of go back and say like i don't want to disparage therapy i think it does help a lot of people um it definitely has helped me i think therapy is like comedy there's good therapy yeah and there's terrible yeah yeah yeah and and by the way certain personality types really are kind of untreatable so if you have like narcissistic personality disorder my therapist like the dirty secret is we'll kind of like pass them off to someone else or something because once you realize somebody can't see it they're wrong they they won't really well i talked to a therapist that about that they said some therapy

doesn't work because all these people are really there for us to talk about themselves yeah yeah yeah my therapist is uh kind of calls me out on shit oh so i like her my friends who have overheard overheard us uh because we facetime she because she's a holdover from the East Coast. They're like, it sounds like she's your friend and she's being kind of hard on you, but I need that. I need somebody who's going to... I don't necessarily always... It was interesting. I just learned this past week

that when you've had trauma, one of the kind of byproducts is that not only do you not trust people, but you don't trust yourself. And I was like, Oh, I didn't know this. You put yourself in a bad situation,

right? So you don't trust your own judgment. And often like your reaction to it. So my reaction to what happened to me was very, I mean, yes, I was young and I can forgive myself for that, but it was to,

I was like hypersexual after that. You know, I, and then I, I recently last week had this moment where i was like oh god all the like men that just didn't deserve me and this is one of the i mean i it really was like i felt like i was re-virginized or something i don't know what happened but i suddenly was like wow i i i don't i suddenly have self-worth it's like and it took me a lifetime well this is one of the you know where i'm squishy i'm squishy on a lot of things and um i think feminism is really important and to like shit on

it is there are women who died and got jailed for like the right to vote so that doesn't sit well with me but the some of the excesses of feminism and of the in particular um like sexual liberation is that i was told sex is empowering and it's not fucking empowering if you're not empowered already like in my experience you were told sex is empowering it's not fucking empowering if you're not empowered already. Like, in my experience. You were told sex is empowering as a part of feminism? Well, it's kind of the messaging. It's like, you know, women can have sex too. And just like, it's an empowering thing.

Isn't it more of an anti-shame thing? Because like, women are shamed for their feelings and their passion. Yeah, and I think that's why i think that i understand it i understand why that would be the but i feel like what got lost is that sex is very intimate and for years there's like intimacy is so creepy i just i couldn't i couldn't make like eye contact no No, we're not doing that. That's not happening. And it's, I just, yeah, like, get in the back. Get in the back. I just didn't have that, I don't know. I just, I missed the memo that it should be something.

I was taught that it was, you know like to kind of withhold because then a man won't respect you which feels a little bit transactional so there's that messaging and then there's messaging of like free the nipple and be empowered and like you can have sex with whoever you want but if you have trauma and you're not really great on the self-esteem department and then you start trying to sleep your way to empowerment it's only gonna create in my experience for me it created a lot more shame and a vicious cycle that was like very connected to addiction for me too sleeping your way to empowerment is a funny concept well suck and fuck your way to enlightenment. I mean, I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. And I know I can already...

I can, you know, the problem with my brain is that I can... I'm always, like, contradicting myself. So I can... That's because life is complicated. Yeah. And there's not... It's not binary. Like, sex is good or sex is bad.

Like, there's different situations where it's good and different situation where it's terrible for you yeah and it's just the whole weird writing for playboy at so to ask me you asked me when i started writing i always wrote i wrote that piece bill cosby rate me kind of um that has a great title thank you um and then i ended up uh twitter was really how i got every connection in the writing world. I started, somebody hooked me up with an editor from Playboy, and there was this piece going around that was like, why I don't suck dick. And I'm like, well, someone needs to stick up for sucking dick, and that person needs to be me. And so I pitched to Playboy, like, in defense of why I love giving blowjobs, basically. And I didn't know, again,

because I'm a child of the 90s who was just high, I didn't get the memo that now a lot of that is seen as internalizing the patriarchy. What? Wait a minute, what is? Literally. What about eating pussy? What is that? Not eating pussy what is that not eating pussy sucking

dick but but how does that work oh that's okay but oh it's only okay dick is internalized well you take it into your body well no just some some when the whole point of like the not why i don't suck dick is that it's like it's a degrading experience which it can feel that way and um i would say everything can feel degraded sexually and it's not it's not a um it's not this or that you know like sexuality is so fucking complicated that's why i loved writing for playboy because it is everything it is shame and fear and intimacy and love and passion and all of it like it all happens in sex and in those messy relationships and the whole consent culture thing which they're again like they're good things that come of it but then there's another thing where part of it where i'm like how are we gonna hack something as awkward

as sexuality when you're especially when you're like in your hormones in your once again it comes down to compliance. That's what the whole consent culture is about. Look, consent is imperative. It's important. It's everything. Of course. You don't want anybody doing anything without your consent. However, this idea that you should ask for consent

before every single step of the way. Can I touch your left leg? Right. Yes. Can I touch your ass? No, not yet. Okay. You ever see that video?

No. It's a great video. It was like they're teaching consent. Consent can be hot. And it's like this guy and this girl kissing. And the guy and the girl, the guy's like, can I kiss you? She's like, yes. Can I touch your shoulder?

Yes. And he has to say it every step of the way. But it's always the guy. But it's explicit too. It's always the guy. The girl's, can I suck your dick? Of course. You don't have to ask questions there's like the idea that the girl has to ask is ridiculous right yeah yeah so if you have a video where the girl's asking the guy everybody's like what the fuck is this

what is this what is she a sex robot she's asking if she can fuck you that is crazy can you put it inside me yeah yeah yeah like no one does no one does that has anybody ever said that ever yeah asking the guy for consent is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever if you're making out that's consent well and this is the difference between explicit and implicit and there's so much a consent that occurs it's implicit and that's some of the sexiest stuff right it's the like talk about it yeah it's and it's learning to read that body language and read the like she's you know people that want compliance that's what it is but who are these people crazy people that have no life and they're on twitter all day

it's the power trip thing what they're trying to do is get people to bend their behavior and change it to their will but why why? Because they're nuts. Because they enjoy power tripping. Right. Like, why do people, why are people saying, stop using guys. Stop saying guys.

Stop using gendered language. You ever see that video? Which one? Where they're speaking in front of the socialists. Oh, the, I was going to say that too. Point of privilege. Point of personal privilege.

Point of personal privilege. Yeah, I made fun of it on Dumpster Fire. That fucking video is amazing. But when the guys can just stop with the chatter because I have a really hard time paying attention. I have severe ADHD. Yeah, it's like the jazz hands. And then the guy who's like the trans woman gets up and says, please stop saying guys. Stop using gendered language. Like, like oh my god we're in a movie

no it's insane reality has become parody i i was watching someone was saying like please stop using the masculine and i had like thousands of retweets and it was like please stop using um male and female the binary needs i'm like no well you know todd phillips who directed the joker yeah one of the things that he said and he was talking about he said he's really difficult right now to do comedy right you know it's just like he's doing an interview they're like why are you doing this like really dark superhero movie this dark action movie like he's like wow fucking hard to do comedy these days i mean you know you guys don't understand that this and that so he used the term you guys and one of the reporters that criticized it was calling you know say todd

phillips is a piece of shit and look how he uses the term guys like the why points the main points this person made was that he was using the term you guys like that guys. Because everything is a patriarchy? It's gendered language. I know. It's fucking stupid as shit. But it's also just like language. Yes. Well, women use it all the time. I use it all the time.

I use retard all the time. I know. It's not good. It's not good. But it's not bad. Here's the thing about it. It's from being on the East Coast, though. It is, but it's also, it has nothing to do with the disease this is what the problem is it has to do with people literally being

retard dead like retard like slowing down the progress like a person who thinks the earth is flat that is a retarded way of looking at the world yeah and if you make videos about it you're slowing down scientific progress if people get caught up in your rabbit hole. I'm glad that we're mutually going to be canceled together. I'm hoping to get canceled. You keep trying. I'm trying. You're trying.

So you're like South Park. But this is what I think. I think what's going on right now is this chaotic period of adjustment to our ability to communicate with each other openly and across the board and in this weird way through social media why are we responsible for everyone's feelings we are not but this is the world we live in you you are responsible by your language and jokes that you tell you if your jokes are offensive, you are responsible for literally every person's feelings in the audience. Not necessarily.

Bridget, here's the thing. It's such a small number of people. Yeah. And they're so loud. This is what we saw with the Chappelle special. Yeah. Right? Right, right, right.

It's a Rotten Tomatoes. Reviewed by Rotten Tomatoes. They decided for whatever fucking goofy reason to make it reviewed by five super woke critics. They gave it a 0%. They open it up to the public. It gets a 100% rating. 100%. Thank God.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Everybody else says it's awesome, and they're going to like it more because they don't like you assholes that say it's 0%. Well, and the critical theory guys, you know, like James Lindsay, you've had them on. Yes, yes. They're great. But the whole idea 99% and 35%.

Hey, at least the tomato meter went up a little bit with the critics. Up to 35%. The byline says it won't elicit many laughs either. Oh my God. Edgy but empty. Sticks and stones won't break any bones and it won't elicit many laughs. I mean, this was, I don't

know. James Lindsay just posted something lindsey just posted something today he just he just posted something today that just said oh my oh it's about diversity in in medical institutions and that they think that uh people who are at the head of of uh medical institutions they should have tenure because we we by this it would take 50 years like some woman posted this thing like forget about competence this is there here it is what does it say diversity leadership diversified leadership uh researchers say term limits may create more opportunities for women and minorities in academic medicine like term limits like forget about how competent you are at brain surgery what we need is more brown women in your part doing your part it's so we're going to teach

them how to be brain surgeons so what i've learned from them is just that it's it truly behaves like a religion so like wokeism yes and this is the piece that i was writing i think i quoted you and um bill burr and just i was saying like comedy's last stand and about around chapelle and how his the his special whether he meant to do it or not goes like right after every single one of their tenants you know almost like strategically he goes after every and i was saying everyone's like oh it's reactionary it's reactionary i'm like no they're fighting they're not reacting they're fighting back well that rotten tomatoes is the that's the battleground right that shows you like this is the ideological battleground right it's very small number of woke people versus the vast majority of people

that don't turn to comedy to have reality defined for them they turn to it to laugh right these people they want relief these people are trying to define reality through all forms of art and they're doing it by again trying to get people to comply with their very rigid terms of what you can say the way you can think whether you're punching down or punching up on how you treat people and how you treat minorities and trans people. And I just get to the like, why? Why? I mean, why?

It's a power trip. I understand. But what? Because I don't I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. And so I know that they wake up and think. And that's the weird thing about the time that we live in right now is that literally everyone on all sides thinks they're on the right side of history. And you and I were talking about this before, how weird Trump derangement syndrome is, where it definitely exists on the left.

And there's the craziness and the people who literally see all day long, they're online tweeting about Trump. I'm like, how do you feed your children? I imagine they have starving children just waiting for dinner. And then on the right, you see it with like, he can do no wrong. So it's like the MAGA and resistance strains of Trump derangements. And it's like most people don't live in there, in either one. But they seem to have the loudest platforms. But that's, you know, they say about the left and the right.

The further you go left, the further you go right. They kind of meet in the middle. They just like together. They get together because it's an ideological thing. They sound the same. They do. When I was getting a text of working at Playboy, you retweeted it actually. And it was why, and you had no idea but it was

i wrote um women date assholes because you're a pussy that was like the first column and they were testing me to do a column and you just so happened to retweet it so you probably got me that job so thank you you're welcome um and i didn't realize because i got attacked by like all the the like dudes on the right who were kind of beta dudes. And they were like, I'm not a pussy. I'm a good guy. And then there were all the people on the left, the radical feminists.

And they were like, you can't. This is toxic masculinity. And I was like, what the fuck is happening? You guys sound exactly the same. You should date. I figured out how to solve the problem. Well, I always think it's hilarious when a right-wing person and a Democrat date. How do you make that work?

Maybe it's just like hate fucking. Yeah, hate fucking. Fuck Nancy Pelosi. No, fuck me. I'm sure I mean look people are god damn

complicated we are we're very complicated that's what was so weird about working at Playboy was

I got there right when they went non-nude and I was like sorry everyone how long did that last like one minute

it was like somebody on Twitter I think said it was like McDonald's being like we're not serving fries anymore sorry guys it was like somebody on twitter i think said it was like mcdonald's being like we're not serving fries anymore sorry guys it was like new coke like what yeah why would you fuck with coke so that was a weird time and then it was a lot of transition but just writing for men waking up to the fact that there was this culture war and then writing for men at a time when it was like anti-men right

i didn't realize that it happened either i was like still singing this is a man's world like in my mind and then suddenly i was like oh there's a there's a there's a sex war going on too well i got the idea behind me too like i was also sexually abused me too too. I didn't get the time's up. Like the thing of time's up. Time's up for what? Like what is the time up for? Why do we have to use me too? It's such a common phrase.

Like it's so weird when a guy is like, I can't wait to see you. And I'm always like, hashtag me too. I do that all the time. And people go, LOL. Because now it's become a joke. Yeah. Well, there's been enough asia argentos enough you know hypocrites enough of the crazy ones but it is important you know because i mean circling back

to what happened to me last week and in my young like childhood it's important that these that you know i see that woman that i that the 19 year as my hero, but also the culture is more supportive of her going and saying something, and it was not 20 years ago. At all. So that is progress. There's definitely progress. Yeah. But progress is not clean. No.

Progress comes in these waves. It's so messy. Knocks rocks over and knocks over pylons and and then everybody rebuilds and then we figure out where the fuck the ocean line is now you know the shoreline moves everything moves but that's been the weird thing is that it's i i you know i was joking the other day that i'm like uh you know sometimes something will happen with trump and i'll be like all right that's it you know, sign me up for the resistance. I'm going to be marching in the streets in the minute.

They're like, yeah, and what's your gender? I'd be like, I'm out of here. What are your pronouns? I'm out. Forget it. My name is Bridget, you fucking piece of shit. I'm not joining you either. They, them.

I'm a they, them. I'm just out. I'm out. They, them. I have a friend whose daughter's a they them I'm just out I'm out They them I have a friend Whose daughter's a they She calls herself they Well I would be

You know That's the other thing too Is that you You latch on to these things When you're a kid Of course You're totally gonna be ripe For having that happen to you

Oh for sure You know You're gonna have like Two they thems Babies They call them babies Babies People are raising their kids As they and i just like let

them decide what they are no i don't push them in any one way or these kids are gonna be so it's like a fucking disney ride that was the weird thing when i was working on the this is also another weird moment i'm having right now because i listened to so much of your podcast when i was trimming weed and anyone who's trimmed weed knows you do it for like 13 hours at a clip and go crazy and somewhere in an alternate timeline I'm trimming weed listening to me on your but this is this was all, that whole culture, and it's so funny because the way those kids revolt, like the way they rebel, all the like hippie kids grew up with like their parents on acid losing them at festivals and shit.

And the Burning Man kids, like one of my friends, she joined the army. I'm like, yeah, this is what happens. That's how they rebel. The kids that grew up with all this crazy shit. They're like, I'm going to be, I'm joining the D fucking A, mom. is what happens that's how they rebel the kids that grew up with all this crazy shit they're like i'm gonna be i'm joining the d fucking a mom that's what i'm doing that is what happens yeah yeah if your parents are drug addicts you become sober and a marathon runner yeah yeah that happens it's just so your kids are gonna be like you know it's they dad i'm pretty good at

not i'm not i let them do what they want to do i'm not like i'm not that rigid yeah i mean i have like rules and stuff but there's also a lot of communication in my house yeah yeah i think that's i mean i know what the fuck happened when i was a kid so i try real hard to not make any of that happen to them yeah yeah so there's a lot of talk were you like gonna come from a crazy upbringing it was crazy it wasn't bad they were nice but they were distant absent it was more absent but they were working yeah i was a latchkey kid when i was a kid my parents had worked all the day yeah you know and then when they got home i was going to martial arts yeah i was never around at least you had martial arts that you probably would have been a freaking hooligan oh my god that saved me from the time i was 14 till

the time i stopped fighting that saved me wow because that gave me structure yeah i had no structure and it teaches you self self discipline yeah it teaches you to respect the whole idea of discipline that's what i love about jacko the whole discipline equals freedom discipline equals freedom is fucking hilarious do you see the uh post my wife put up a post of marshall with uh with a watch on oh that's hilarious 4 30 4 o'clock in the morning i love it he's so inspiring though that way because he's just i want to see that's amazing i love the watch too fucking silly i'm always like is that blood or is it sweat sweat mostly with um jocko he's a fucking savage he's amazing really does get up every fucking morning at 4 30 and works

out like a beast but i think there are some men where like they should you know well we should be they're just like born warriors and in this society where there's not really it's so kind of easy and it's not like they're it's what do you do and as we were talking about i think a lot of that energy of like the negativity i always say to people online i'm like go build something because i know from my own experience that if i'm if i'm not using that energy creatively i'll self-destruct right it's like it goes inward or i'll project it outward and i'll tear people down or whatever well that's what you see

so go build something go make something attacking all the time it's so much of an attack culture well discipline is a very important part of being a healthy person and for men I think there's a certain amount of energy that you must expand

you must expand it you must blow it out of your system yeah and this is actually why I'm very grateful and again for you and your platform because i know from writing for playboy i would hear i would say hey guys what do you think about going bald and i would get these like long letters from men who had never been asked like hey how are you doing dude and they would tell me these stories of like what it was like to lose their hair what it's like for to have ed or whatever and it there was not really a space for um in in this culture war there's not the the male magazines have been kind of taken

over by the there's not really a space for men to just be men. The only space is podcasts. It is. Because no one tells you what to do. But you give these guys a voice. And for all the shit you get, I feel like you use it responsibly. You could be up here being like, go cause a lot of chaos, guys. And like, go get whatever. And you're trying to better yourself. And therefore, help other people to better themselves and ask

questions and like it's not like you're up here you could be doing a lot of bad shit with this you'd be wielding this weapon like you know you could run for president oh god let's do it but yeah i think that there's very few legitimate outlets for men because everyone has to be, you have to go through the filter of executives and producers and all that. If you're going to put something out there, like some sort of an entertainment product, it has to be filtered by the network. It has to be filtered by all these other voices. And if they want to keep their fucking job, they're not going to let you just be yourself. There's no way. They're going to try to mold you.

What about the diversity? What you need is a girl sidekick to balance you out because everything you're doing is so masculine and people are going to be really turned off by it and what about girl voices you know i can't believe you two guys are on there and you know you're talking about gay rights and there's no gay people in the room you need a gay person and the next thing you know i got this fucking this woke round table and it's a goddamn disaster and men again they don't look i have no problem with anybody saying like you can if you have a podcast and you're a guy you just love taking in the ass go do a podcast called take it in the ass have a good time yeah that's you but

and if there's no one filtering you and no one stopping you you can really accurately reflect who you are you can act accurately project who you are but if you're a man just a regular man who likes manly shit do you like do you like hot rods do you like fights do you do you like tits do you like these things well then you're a piece of shit yeah okay and in this day and age if you have that these these normal male desires yeah fucking every male has everyone yeah they get called toxic masculinity when every man has it there's no outlet yeah yeah because everyone has to the everything has to be filtered through an executive or a director and then what shadow does that create so every time you know what you resist persists what you repress creates a dark shadow so when you're taking all of this

masculine energy and you're constantly beating men over the head with how bad they are it's not going anywhere now it's just going underground and it's gonna leak out in weird fucking ways yes because they're not allowed to express themselves and the problem i see this all the time is like oh toxic masculinity toxic masculinity let men be men let men share their feelings and then it's like they do and they're like shut the fuck up well they don't shut the fuck up they want men to change they want men to adjust and they want men to look you can be a really good person and also be a man uh yeah a manly man uh yeah and i don't think that you can they think that you have to evolve and change because

the men that are a part of that are all pussies and there's a lot of those guys out there there's a lot of those guys out there that don't like manly men and they want to think there's something wrong with someone like jocko there's something wrong with a guy who likes hot rods and tits and there's nothing wrong with the guy who's not a manly man either like there's nothing wrong with that there's there's room for us all but they're competing right right every male feminist is competing i saw somebody with like a cis heterobob and i was like oh you're a woke dude trying to get laid like whenever i see that in a cis hetero normative i'm like okay so you're just that's all that's all they have but they have to do that like i had a bit that i was doing about

male feminists i go they don't exist find me a male feminist that can pick up heavy shit and run fast they're not real they're not real you know what the meanest people have been to me online other than like incels and um radical feminists blue-checked liberal dudes like some of the the like the like allies they're the people who have come the hardest at me and been the most cruel to me about what they're just always on my nuts about am i allowed to say that yes yeah you can say we can say that. We'll let you. I got nuts today. It's like a white person using the N-word. Oh, that's going to go over well. That's exactly what it's like.

What are they getting after you about? What was the last one? You know, I think I said something about Tulsi, how they're like, oh, she's a foreign ass. And everybody's like, you're a fucking idiot. And they just, as i kind of started just speaking my mind and the weird fucking hard thing about being a feisty comedian and somebody that sometimes writes more serious pieces is that i get to i i don't mean to but

i dance that line of like, it kind of cracks me up when people get all outraged. Yes, of course. It kind of makes me laugh. It's fun. I can't help the comic in me is like, I'm supposed to be pushing the envelope and buttons. And the free speech stuff, I will die on that hill.

That is literally a hill I will die on. That's the hill to die on. And that is when I see the sides going, I'm like, okay, yeah, we got to push against some of the corruption, and this is getting bad over here. And then I'm like, whoa, okay, this is authoritarian and insane, and you can't say anything. But so many of these woke left dudes are mush. They're mushy. They're made out of mush. Like, come're mushy. They're made out of mush. Like, come run a hill.

You're made out of mush. Do a deadlift. That was one of my made out of mush. That was one of my favorite Bill Burr routines ever. The guy screaming on the plane where he's like, and he's like, that is a scream that should come from a woman or a child. He's like, no grown man should ever have that coming out. And he's like, that's like if the and he was talking about how animals would ever have that coming out and he's like

that's like and he was talking about how animals would be like stay away from that one Lindsay oh god cause it is I don't I don't think

I was thinking about it I'm like I don't think I've ever dated a liberal dude never? because they're they're I don't

no I don't think so I don't not in the not recently because I like my men masculine. But you can be masculine and also be liberal. I'm pretty liberal. Yeah, yeah, I know you are.

I know. I'm not saying that. You can be masculine and liberal. It just doesn't happen that often. I think they're all taken. They're like snatched up pretty quick by the liberal women who are like, I see one. He's a unicorn um it's well and i think too we come from a different generation so that it's more of a

struggle maybe now than it was like back when you got married now yeah yeah i think there's something wrong with it now which is not good so crazy no no it, no. And I think most women, many women, I'm feisty and opinionated. Like, I can't have a guy who's not going to put me in my place. Someone who's mush. I can't have a man who's going to just let me walk all over them because I will. Yeah, it's normal. It's natural. And no one wants that.

Well, I think there's a natural inclination that certain women have with weak men to push them around. I think it's normal. I think you're testing the boundaries of what you can get away with and not get away with communicating with each other. Well, and it's also the whole concept of nice guy. It's like, well, you're not a nice guy. You just were trying to backdoor your way into dating me by being a friend. And it's manipulative. Jordan Peterson talks about that.

Jordan Peterson says that you don't want to be a nice guy. You want to be a dangerous person who's nice. A dangerously nice person. No, a dangerous person who is nice. But just being a nice person all the time. You have to be nice. You're nice because you have no choice. You want to be a nice person all the time like you're you have to be nice like you're nice because you have no choice a dang you want to be a dangerous person who chooses to be nice there's a big difference that's interesting because you have a choice to be nice or to not

be nice and i want a dangerous person when this shit hits the fan yeah everybody does i don't want some everybody does you want a dangerous woman, too. Yeah. Yeah. You want someone who can figure it out. Yeah. And you don't want mush. Mush. People are made out of mush. Do you think that we're making more mush?

Yes! Yes! If there's anything I think in this life that is un-fucking-bendable, it's that we are making more mush. And how do you think that we helpfully and not, you know, I find that i do what i did as a child which is shame the mush you know i think you went through a whole fucking litany of chaotic events that shaped you and you had terrible things happen when you learn from them and then you became who you are but i don't want it you don't have to do it no but my point is using how to how do i how

do you inspire people who might be attracted by this kind of in you know the reason i started my podcast is just so that people could tell stories of grit and resilience because i find that what happens is we'll start talking about the victimhood culture but then it sounds like we're victims right and i don't want to do that either. I want to build something. Grit and resilience. Grit and resilience. But how do you, you know, I worry that these young minds are being indoctrinated, and this

is what I always ask them, like the women in particular, young women in particular, with like intersectionality, which seems like this race, I'm like, play the tape forward for me. Where does this lead? How does this lead how does this lead to self-esteem how does this lead to feelings of empowerment i mean my therapist and i talk about this all the time how how hard she's having how hard a time she's having with the younger women because they're all coming in with this sense of perpetual victimhood of everywhere you go like that that it's the patriarchy and it's everything is

oppressing you and and how the whole idea of therapy is to get you out of feeling those you know going from maybe being victimized feeling like a victim to taking that and and being um more empowered i don't exactly know what you could say to young women because I've never gone through that experience. But for sure, for young men, they need something that's difficult. Yeah. Young men need difficult things in their life. Like those boundary waters or whatever that is. Yeah, something, anything.

For me, I always tell them jujitsu. Get involved in jujitsu. Because I don't – getting involved in martial arts that involve striking is fucking dangerous. Right. Because brain damage is for keeps. Right, right, right. You keep that shit for the rest of your life. That's why I'm so adamant about trying to get fighters to quit when I think they should quit.

You know, when they've hit this wall and they come to me for advice, and it's happened many times, I'm like, you gotta stop. You gotta stop. There's no way of fans or butts don't look for that fucking pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because you've already been knocked out four or five times you gotta stop yeah because if you don't stop you're gonna be a 60 year old person that shits their pants yeah your wife's gonna have to walk you to the car and you're not gonna know where you are in a supermarket you're gonna get lost like you this is what happens this is real so striking striking arts they're very dangerous

and i think you gotta know when to get off that fucking boat you gotta know but grappling is a different animal yeah grappling you could teach people jujitsu and i i went to jujitsu with a guy was fucking 62 years old yeah 62 years old this guy i was like how old are you man it's like 62 i'm like holy shit purple belt Purple belt. Yeah. 62. Going after it. Yeah. Trying hard. Trying to get his black belt.

I'm like, good for you, man. Like, it was a fucking cool conversation. That, to me, is something that I would encourage young men to do because it's really difficult. And in the beginning, you feel hopeless. And then as you get better at it, you learn, oh, my God, with hard work and discipline. And I just fucking keep showing up. Just keep showing up and figuring it out. I get better at something it's a very difficult thing i can use that as a vehicle for developing my human potential and also i realize that i can overcome struggle right i can overcome these things i can overcome and i can get better and then also the

exertion of energy the just going out there and fucking exhausting yourself you're more calm and peaceful and then there's another thing about jiu-jitsu is your constant physical contact yeah like people need hugs as weird as that sounds but men need even hugging each other it sounds like maybe gay or something i don't care but it's good it feels good to hug even though you're trying to kill each other it's connection each each other. Connection is important. And you need that brotherhood. There's something about that camaraderie that you have to have. There's a camaraderie that exists in jiu-jitsu that's unlike any other camaraderie I've ever experienced.

Because there's a certain resentment from striking. If a guy beats my ass, if I go spar with some guy and he beats my ass, next time I see him, I'm like, I'm going to fuck this dude up. I'm like, I don't like him that much. He hurt me. He gave me a headache. Like I went home, I have a headache because I got hit me with a punch. Yeah.

So I'm thinking I'm going to fuck him up. And like, this is like what men do like in sparring and sparring oftentimes turns into fights. But in jujitsu, like you could choke me and arm bar. We could choke each other. And then afterwards, it's all love. It's all hugs and clap hands and thanks, man. And people tell you how they caught you.

They tell you, you know, I almost tapped there, dude. You almost had me in the guillotine. And we'll laugh about it. There's a really great class that I've been wanting to take, and it's at Gracie. And it's women's empowerment, but it's all just, like, self-defense. It's the one in Beverly Hills. Okay, cool. But it's women's empowerment, but it's all just like self-defense, the one in Beverly Hills. Okay, cool. But it's an amazing class.

I like sat in on it because I like it as a woman. It feels like the most realistic. You know, I feel like I can actually use it. For sure. Jiu-jitsu is the most realistic for women. Just to get away. Yes.

You know, just in the event. To defend yourself. Yeah, to defend yourself just to get away. I'm not going to sit there and fight. But just give myself that window of an opportunity that I might, you know, just a chance, a fighting chance. Because otherwise, yeah, no. Well, jiu-jitsu is also something that someone who's a weaker person can effectively utilize on someone who's stronger than them. Right, right.

Because it's so technique-based. Yeah. yeah i think that that is um you know one of the things i've learned from all the men who were writing into me a playboy is um jordan peterson has something that really speaks to these guys and you know i've seen him get a lot of of crap but like he has saved so many men that i know i mean these guys have written me letters like telling me much, and I'm not sure really what it is about his program or whatever it is that he's saying, his message. Well, he's concentrating on young men. He's resonating with young men because— Is it discipline?

What is his primary— He always talks about cleaning your room. Right, right, right. Make your bed. Messy mind, messy— Cluttered room, cluttered mind. Yeah, same thing. I mean, he's essentially saying clean your room. Right, right, right. Make your bed. Messy mind. Cluttered room, cluttered mind. Yeah, same thing. He's essentially saying clean your room.

Get your shit together. Yeah. I mean, there's so much to what he's saying that expands far beyond that as well. And his movies are getting – there's a documentary about him right now, The Rise of Jordan Peterson, and it's getting censored. Why? These people are protesting it being in these theaters. They don't know. They think they're supposed to censor him. They think

he's transphobic and homophobic and all these different things. But he's helped so many people. But you know his origin? Do you know what happened in Toronto? No. Okay. Not really. There was a bill that was being passed. It was going to force you to use one of, you know, there's this gender pronoun bill. Like say if you wanted to use

one of the 78 different gender pronouns you would be obligated like legally obligated to use them and he was protesting against that it's like you're using compelled speech you can't compel me Canada does not have free speech they do not have so it wasn't that he didn't want to read he it wasn't that he didn't want to use their preferred pronoun it was that he didn't want to use their preferred pronoun. It was that he didn't want to be compelled to use it. Yes, legally compelled. Oh, got it. Legally compelled.

And he didn't want to use made-up words either. Right. Because there's ze, zur, and jim, and all these different crazy made-up words. Yeah. You want to be a they? You want to be a he or a she? What are we doing here? Yeah, yeah.

What are you? Okay, you want me to call Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner. a he or a she. Like, what are we doing here? Yeah, yeah. What are you? Okay, if you want me to call Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner. Okay, I'll call her Caitlyn. That's fine. You want me to say it's a her? Okay, I'll say it's a her. That's fine.

I don't care. I don't give a fuck. But you want to start making up words and that's where he's like, no. And you want to legally compel. And you want to call me a bigot for not letting my kid get hormones. Like, this is where,

or the sports thing I get very, like, outraged about. The sports thing is insane. It's insane. There's a bunch of different schools that are letting kids compete in the gender that they identify with. And in those places, those women's track events are fucking dominated by men. Dominated. They're breaking world records. What was that woman's name?

Rachel McKinnon. She just broke the world's record for the cycling event. And she used to be a man. I mean, you're a bigot if you don't agree with this. No, you broke the world's record. How'd that happen? What is happening here? What's happening here is you're a guy.

You were born a guy. This is when I feel like I'm in a simulation. Right, right. And there's somebody who's like, let's see how many people we can get to get on board with this shit. Right. Or I'm like, maybe I'm just old. No. Maybe.

No. What's happening is women are getting fucked over. That's why this is the most crazy. I get called a TERF a lot. But they're in the middle of this ideological battle and women are losing scholarships they're they're losing their ability to compete with people of their own gender this is or their own sex their own whatever you want to call it whatever the chrome zones that when you start adding trans men and trans women into the mix you're going to get two things depending on the

sport the trans men are going to get fucking smoked, period. When women transition to men and they want to be a man and compete with men, they're going to get fucked up in almost every sport, particularly fighting. It is funny how much it's gotten men talking about periods. Has it? Like, it's just like, you know, I'll see men defending like a woman's right to talk about her period. I'm like, yes, that's right. Now you're a male feminist. What man has ever had a problem with women talking about their period no no i know

but they're they exist they get squeamish they're squeamish that is so weak that's mushy man guys are scared of pussy blood you're not scared of a bloody steak but you're scared of vagina blood yeah there's they are there are guys who are squeamish about it. And there's another one. Shake them off the leaf. Yeah, yeah. Shake them off. Yeah, there's a, it does feel a banana. I read something somewhere where it said, you know, that there was gender, like, stereotypes were being determined by biology. And now we're using biology, now we're using gender to by biology. And now we're using biology,

now we're using gender to determine biology. So biology determined gender stereotypes, the male and the female and whatever. And there was a reaction to that. And now as a reaction to it, they're using gender to determine biology and how it's getting, yeah, it's like. It's so confusing.

It's so, maybe. The thing is there confusing it's so maybe the thing is there's just a broad spectrum of people and there's low testosterone males there's high testosterone females and that should be okay we should be allowed to be whatever the fuck we want but the thing is that the low testosterone males can't compete with the high testosterone males and the high testosterone females can't compete with the high estrogen females and there's like if you want a barbie doll and you're built like the hulk like you know what i mean like if you're if you want to be barbie but instead you're you're you're built like um tom arnold you know which you know one of them lesbians that always wears vests

there's a type of definitely getting canceled there's a type of lesbian that wears those patagonia vests everywhere right i have a subaru my brother's like you could have just come out you should come out those thick ones with a wide waist i get called an alpha widow all the time that's what the insults call me alpha widow it's a term widow yeah you can you google it and everything it's like a woman who chases after alpha males but they're not interested in like wifing me up and so i end up a widow okay that doesn't make any sense but what i was going to say is that like it's like the unrealistic body types yeah i was gonna say like this is a thing that gets brought up all the time okay they've

even had these promos and these advertisements taken down particularly in the uk there was a big story about that because they were promoting unrealistic body types okay one of those guys tried to do that too one of those vox guys is this a body was trying to no it's not oh trying to like say don't follow these gay is he's a gay guy you're saying saying don't follow these gay Instagram thirst pages because they're promoting an unrealistic body type and the fucking gay guys just attacked him

to the point where he had to shut his fucking Instagram down for a while because gay guys don't play with that shit. They don't, like that unrealistic body type,

you can pull that off on some women. They're like, yeah, it's unrealistic. Oh, they're eating cake. Yeah.

But it's not unrealistic. That's a real woman. Okay. It's just not your body type. Or it's unrealistic while they're eating cake yeah but it's not unrealistic that's a real woman okay it's just not your body or it's not typical well look if you're a fucking a person i'm 5'8 if i look at a lebron james seven foot tall man well that's an unrealistic body type no it's realistic yeah he's playing basketball professionally he's a real person yeah fucking hologram it's not. It's just unachievable for me. That's just what it is. Just know your limits. Right. That's what you got. That's the

fucking hand you got. It has nothing to do with realistic or unrealistic. If you see a girl and she's got a tiny waist and a big ass and big tits. She's just got that Jennifer Lopez jean. Fuck! That's just her. She got lucky. You didn't get that lucky that is realistic yeah now if they're using that to sell fucking fanta or adidas shoes or whatever the fuck it is so what

if you're saying well all these girls feel terrible because that's unrealistic that's life that is that is life yeah that again we come back we come back to why are we responsible for everyone's feelings. Get off the fucking couch and go do something about it if you don't want to feel sad. Do you know who no one cares about, though? Fat dudes. Fat dudes can fuck off. No one cares.

No one feels bad about fat dudes. Well, they get away with the whole dad bod thing, which I wrote a whole piece about. Dad bods and guys with a gut, like Burt Kre dad bod thing, which I wrote a whole piece about. Where I was like, dad bod isn't. Dad bods and guys with a gut, like Burt Kreischer bods, that bod. Dad bod isn't an excuse to be lazy, though. I know some guys who will lean really into that. They're like, it's a dad bod. I'm like.

What do you mean? They like it? Yeah, they kind of get away with it. Because it's like, you know, guys get like cute, adorable little dad bod and women get like fupa. I don't think so, though. No girl wants a dad bod, do they? The only reason why a woman wants a dad bod is because they know that the guy has like less options. He's more likely to stick around. Right?

If a guy's got a dad bod, it's like, where are you going, bitch? Or he's rich. I'm going to fuck you. There. Either one. But I mean, look, I'm sure some women like doughy guys they like it yeah yes and i think some women like more like girth and meat like a little bit of weight football player yeah yeah some girls like big thick women too everybody's different everybody gets i i just think that if

you like somebody that's and here to your point is that it's fine whatever you like whatever your type is if you're into like a big dude if you're whatever but the people who like people who are fit are somehow now being shamed the only thing that's changed is people's ability to express themselves online through social media that's the only thing that's changed and because of that people are yelling about things that don't that that they can't do do you get fit shamed can't i get called a meathead i guess that's fit shamed yeah yeah guilty as charged yeah i don't care like but if you're gonna shame me for being in shape like congratulations i don't care i don't care it doesn't work yeah yeah that's like you feel

great because it's like someone shaming you for being successful. Oh, you got me. Sorry. Sorry, I figured out a lot of shit. It's such a weird, this is the weird world is that it feels like we're raising the, you know, the bar isn't, it's being lowered and lowered and lowered. And so instead of raising our standards and trying to everybody lift each other up, it's more just like a very small majority that's like come down but again it's a tiny amount of people making this noise we've been talking about it it has an outsized influence well it has people reacting to it they're bending towards it

but i think it's it's temporary do you yes look you're optimistic you think it's gonna like eat its own tail like that you can never be woke enough they go after each other they turn on each other this i don't think it's real i don't think it's real yeah look there's certain things that people always are gonna like and there's certain things that men are gonna like there's certain things that women are gonna like it's just it's just the way it is i do think it gets um sorted pretty quickly like in in in natural disasters you know i always say this i'm like you can call yourself whatever you want and the other interesting thing is you know your computer knows better than you whatever you're saying online yeah they've done studies and it's like it doesn't matter what

you're saying online your search engine knows what gender you are, essentially. Yeah. I mean, it can generally tell, like, probably with a large accuracy. Oh, yeah. You look at my search results, it would be fucking super obvious what I am. But I think that we just live in this really confusing moment in history so i guess my fear is that the they're the the youth are in ingesting all this kind of it's confusing for them yeah it is it is but it's also there's look as much as i like to make fun of woke culture the good thing about it is is making people more sensitive i agree it's making people nicer yeah but not not necessarily nicer because some of the people that

are woke are using that as an excuse to be a fucking asshole to people right to force compliance and be an asshole but because of that because of that it's again it's like the tide it's going in and out and it's it's gonna find its healthy level yeah gen z is amazing i have nephews who are gen z and they're so funny i don't even know what they are they're the new ones they're like they're basically like um 19 and below so and they're just so um i don't know they're just funny like my you know three years ago my nephew they've they've already taken all this kind of woke language and they've they've metabolized it yeah they're like they were like dude mom she was so triggered and they didn't mean it like she was she was like getting bullied or

anything she it was like a girl who got a bad grade and they were already using the language yeah they're already taking it and memeing it you know why podcasts yeah yeah they listen to podcasts those young kids who listen to it all the time and there's a huge small ben shapiro cult of like 12 to 14 year old boys it's no joke you know what's really funny the moms who hate him well that's why yeah i mean all my friends i have a lot of female friends on like the west side and they are all super lib you know like cried for three days acted like it was 9-11 i'm like did planes fly after trump won that lady with the fucking

sock hat with the glasses oh yeah i still watch it every week it's my favorite it's my favorite tell me that lady didn't know a camera was on her no but that's she fucking knew that's why that's half the reason why she was doing it it way. It's this book. You have to read the book Mediated. It's my Bible for this time. And I read it in 2006. Who wrote that? Thomas de Zengotisha. He wrote about, it's essentially like how we're all self-reflexive.

And he talks about this, how when everything is mediated, everyone knows their role. They know what part they're playing. This book is amazing. I'm going to write this down. Oh, Mediated. is mediated everyone knows their role they know what part they're playing this book is amazing is oh media he he called media shapes the world and the way you live but he calls out all he has a chapter on identity politics i'm gonna write this down and it's like he called out all of this he was explaining all this post-modernism before jordan peterson and all of the critical theory all of the people there and And he's a brilliant writer. When was this?

When did this? 2006. It came out. It's so good. And I just. 2006. Isn't it crazy when someone catches shit like as it's happening, they catch the smell in the air.

Oh, I know where this is going. Yeah. Yeah. He he called it. And I've I I probably reference this book on every talk I have because he talks about exactly this when Princess Diana died. He said, you know, everyone knew their roles. And he was talking about how like the Monica Lewinsky thing is so interesting because she was like in her TED Talk, she talks about this, how she was patient zero for online mobbing so it was like the first news story for the 24-hour news cycle and really the first person who got like mobbed by by everybody have you ever read john ronson's book

so you've been publicly shamed i love him yeah he's great that book is amazing and i i remember because i got on twitter right when the justine sacco thing happened and i was like this is bad what are you guys doing I didn't know what was happening I was like this is not good you guys that's the story of your life is like walking into a fucking gang fight hey hey put the bottles down why do you have a torch what the fuck I know it's true every time I go on one of these things they're like how'd you end up here I'm like I literally tweeted my ass into the center of the culture wars and i'm like wait what happened now i'm writing about it oh my god and then it is such weird times because in so many ways i mean i went to the sex robot factory and i just

wrote about this for uh a column that's coming out and it was like that whole uncanny valley you know that you know that i felt like i was was walking in and out of it through the hole. It was a place where Whitney. Have you seen Whitney's? Yeah. Have you seen hers? Yeah, and it was where she got hers done. Yeah.

And it was such a weird, it was like, it was so, you know how they're making them warm? I'm like, as soon as these things can make sandwiches, we're fucked. It's going to happen. No, women are done. We're going to be toast. Did you see Ex Machina? Yes. She's hot, even though you can see through her skin into her robot parts.

She's still hot. Yeah. That whole Turing test, that's going to happen. People are going to not be able to distinguish whether or not something is a robot or a person it's gonna happen it's probably gonna happen within 100 years and then they're so funny because in the piece i was writing i'm like it's so weird because they're all so optimistic and they're like no it's for the guys who are lonely and it's like that opening scene in jurassic park where you're like what could possibly go wrong i wrote something a long time ago where i was making fun of people who had real dolls and this guy wrote to me and it made me feel bad.

Did he lose his wife? Oh, no, no, no. He was just like horribly scarred from acne and he could never get a girl. And, you know, he just had just a shit roll of the dice. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, he was talking. He goes, I'll, you know, I'd be happy to talk to you about it. Like sometimes, you know, you make fun of something and then someone reaches out to you and you they're now you're a human that you're communicating yeah yeah oh this

isn't fun anymore well that was what winnie was saying you know she's like she was saying that she wanted to kind of think they were all creeps and then she went on their on their message boards and they were all like really lovely guys who took really good care of their dolls and and i think that again there's uh you know relationships and human sexuality are complicated but when i was asking the guy in charge of ai because what creeped me out more than even the dolls hanging from the meat hooks like all that shit was that they're so with the app you know how i'm sure she explained it how it works where it's like now they're getting into did you see the movie her how it works, where it's like now they're getting into, did you see the movie Her?

Yes. Okay, so that's really what they're focusing on, so that it's essentially like if you had the app, and then you left to go to the podcast because it's in your schedule, then the robot would be like, see you soon, Joe, miss ya, and it would send a text. miss ya and it would send a text and so now you have this relationship and really the doll is just the physical form of this persona that you have a relationship with in the cloud and I was like okay

so bad how can we stop we don't have to I guess let's say but can you guys talk for a second sure talk to Jamie real quick we did two podcasts in a row I have to pee real bad

I'll be right back jump in a restaurant talk we're gonna talk about restaurants I don't want to talk about

that but I can't concentrate yeah I can get it I have these when did you go to the sex doll factory

like last month oh really yeah the piece is coming out soon actually it's in spectator

it's like the oldest magazine in the UK, and they launched a United States version. So they have one, and then the next column I wrote for them is about the, it's called the Uncanny Valley of the Dolls. Did they show you anything new they're working on? No, I mean, it's all the same, and it seems pretty, they have the self-lubricating ones coming

and the ones that heat up, and it's more the technology that they're trying to make more interactive, so it's the actual ai that's really interesting and then i think they want to move towards like getting cameras in the eyes and it was so funny because the the ai guys are so funny guys who deal with that they're just a different breed and he was like i was on a jury and i was thinking this would be the perfect place to have a sex doll with a camera in the eyes

that's your thought like if only there's a sex doll in the corner with that with the cameras in the eyes I think of a quick question I wonder like is there any women that are working there is it all guys all women no no no and that's what was so interesting is that and I talk about this in the piece I'm like there's my perception which is that I'm going to this huge warehouse and it's like all these kind of sketchy dudes and it's like a dystopian kind of creep show and then I get there and it's mostly just artists and women and men and people who are you know like character design and they're truly artists are like all these you walk in and it looks like a fucking

tattoo parlor and so you're other than like the different sets of lips and nipples on the wall you would think you were walking into like a tattoo parlor yeah and so you're other than like the different sets of lips and nipples on the wall you would think you were walking into like a tattoo parlor so it's so chill and then um and yeah you kind of go in and out of um it being like that when you hear the stories of the people who lost their wife or somebody who had acne you know i see that how this is useful. And maybe people just want to hold, like you said, they want to hold something. It's incremental steps to dissolving a reality. Reality is going to be either virtual

or you're going to have a combination of virtual and augmented. And you're going to probably be overtaken by robots. I think that fucking Unabomber guy was right yeah ted kaczynski you know that guy he did a bunch of acid they fucking cooked his brain what did he say well he thought the technology was going to take over the human race that's why he was killing all those people that were involved in technology i have a theory that with the escalation of our like climate you know whatever that and i heard this panel back in 2000 it was like i remember being it was all about the nature of the soul and is the soul um essentially and human consciousness essentially going to jump elements from carbon to silicon in order to survive the

wasteland that we're going to leave behind yeah there's something going to happen i think there's a new form of life the singularity and i think trump was on extra adderall when he's like i know what to do i'm going to buy greenland i think he was on to something i think that was like probably the best fucking idea that he ever had i wish people got more excited about it because he came up with it and like it was dismissed and it was in and out of the news cycle in like four or five days greenland was like fuck you he's like all right but i mean i don't know you could buy a greenland but if you could and that was like america northeast like where is greenland on the map northwest northeast way

northeast right yeah so if he was like that's's America northeast, just like Alaska and Hawaii. We got a new one. That's a fucking great idea. Because when shit gets really warm and people start moving there and like, guys, this is the shit. It's fucking 78 degrees year round. It's going to be nice and green. We got a couple extra polar bears around here.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you can defend it. I mean, how big is Greenland? Huge. How huge? Big. Big enough for all of us? Yeah. Could it be America northeast. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you can defend it. I mean, how big is Greenland? Huge. How huge? Big. Big enough for all of us? Yeah.

Could it be American Northeast? Oh, yeah. Really? Really? It's big. It's epic. Perspective. Put on the screen the size of Greenland in...

First the U.S. Yeah. Let's see. What do you think? Never mind. What do you think? I feel like it's... I don't think it was that big. Wait, never mind.

No, no, but I didn't think it was that big. Are we going continental U.S.? Are we including Alaska? Continental. Because Alaska makes us big. Alaska's enormous. Alaska's enormous. But nobody lives there.

Like, three people live in Alaska. Sorry, Alaska. We love you. I love Alaska. I thought it was way bigger. Alaska's barely... They are barely Americans They're awesome

Don't get me wrong I mean they live in paradise That's like true size Is what it says But Holy shit It's huge Yeah I know

But when you drop it there It fits right in the middle Yeah but that's bigger than Texas Yeah Dude Texas could fit Everyone in America Wow look at the size Of it up there

Yes Texas is huge People don't realize How big Australia is Australia's pretty big It's as big as The contiguous United States wow look at the size of it up there yes texas is huge people don't realize how big australia is australia is pretty big it's as big as the contiguous united states but there's only as many people as less less than as many people as los angeles and look at this one right look at the perspective oh shit but how does it look isn't that crazy when you see the actual position it looks way bigger than the United States.

But then when you, that's because of like taking a round thing and flattening it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so stupid. I don't know why they do that. Whoever's making maps. This is why the flatter there's less. Yeah. Yeah, I told you it doesn't work, man.

The ice wall. You just like gave all the evidence. The really crazy thing is the, oh, okay. The really crazy thing is how many things fit in Africa. Everything fits in Africa. Almost every continent, almost every country in the world. Have you been? No.

But if you look at how many countries fit inside of Africa, because you see Africa, you go, oh, yeah, there's South America, there's Africa. Okay. They're about the same. Yeah, it looks the same. But then when you see superimposed all of the United States, Europe, Asia, China. Really? Fucking everything.

Look, that's Africa. Uh-huh. Look at all that shit. Whoa. I know. I didn't realize that. I know. It's nuts.

India fits in there. Everything fits in there. Oh, my God. Dude. This is like the whole. France. Look at that. that. I know. It's nuts. India fits in there. Everything fits in there. Oh, my God. Dude. This is like the whole. France. Look at that. Spain.

Wow. Fuck off. I didn't realize that. Switzerland. So tiny. Italy. Why is Switzerland even on there? Because they make good knives.

They make army knives. Wow. I didn't realize that. Look at China. China. China. China. It's crazy how big Africa is. I've never been i want to go have you been to india no why are you scared of malaria you can't because it kills

people kills more people than anybody my dad got malaria when he was there whoa he's alive though is he yeah are you sure my friend justin who uh he runs fight for the forgotten charity building wells for the pygmies he He's gotten it three times. Oh, yeah. Three times. Malaria? Yeah. Did he have to take the pills that made him crazy?

He took the pills, and it made him crazy for sure. But he got malaria, and then if he gets really sick, he can get malaria again. It'll kick back in. It's like dormant in his system. Yeah. They've come a long way, though, because the old school pills made you like- Crazy. Yeah.

The ones the soldiers had to take, they were all like psychotic. Dave Foley from News Radio. I had to keep him from assaulting a reporter once. He was drunk on malaria. He was drunk and he had to take malaria medication. Oh, no. Yeah. And he took the reporter's microphone or he took his tape recorder and shoved it in his drink.

And I was like, Dave, what are you doing? Do you still act? No. Never? No, no, no, no. You just don't? Last time I acted was in a Kevin James movie. Oh, okay.

Just because he's a buddy of mine. You just don't want to do it? No. Oh. No desire. I guess I have been to Africa because of Egypt. Yeah, Egypt's Africa. I really want to go to Egypt.

Yeah, I've been. That's where I got this ring. Oh. It was amazing. Did you get it from a tomb? And is that haunted? No. it was one of my favorite trips i've been same science museum had this insane exhibit on uh on two-ton common i went mummies twice yeah i'm obsessed fucking incredible i was i was really obsessed with egypt from a very young age just unnaturally do you believe in past lives

how do you feel i don't not believe that's how i feel yeah this is what i think you know how people are you know like some people have arachnophobia this unusual fear of spiders i think that probably comes from someone in your ancestry getting bitten by a spider oh that's interesting like people have instincts right animals like marshall okay marshall has been my dog he's pretty lovable he's the best he doesn't seem too fierce he's not fierce at all he's a sweetheart but he has instincts right like he lifts up his leg and pees on things right he smells where other dogs have peed and he pees there too i didn't teach him how to do that okay No. When he was a puppy, but when I got him, when he was six weeks old, he would just pee all over the place. Anytime he had to pee, he would squat down and pee.

But then as he got older, he has instincts. There's some inherent memory in his genes. I want to know how they decide where to poop. If I find out one thing before I die, like if I get to choose one thing i'm like how does my dog make this decision i mean i know it's instinct but what someone told me what is she determining that's not true i've i've i've kept track i have a whole list of every direction hope is pooping in well when i run with marshall he generally poops in the same area like within like 100 yards like wherever we run

like there's this area that we come we come down off of this hill he's like this is a good spot to take a shit yeah and then he drops a log right there i just want to know is it like territorial is there some dog that has some food that she's like out fooding where she's like my food's better he's there's definitely some sort of territorial thing to it because they'll roll in shit too like my dog doesn't she's not she won't even step in it because they'll roll and shit too. My dog doesn't. She won't even step in it. She's very prissy about that stuff. Marshall has rolled in other dogs' shit. She doesn't want to eat it.

She's not one of those dogs at all. She's very particular. She always has to go to the edge of the... It's weird. She always goes to the edge of the curb or in between the sidewalk and whatever it's called. She always goes to the edge of the curb, like, or the, you know, in between the sidewalk and whatever it's called. She's got her spot. But she, it's not the same spot every time.

And she's very picky. It's like, okay, fucking pick a spot. I want to know. And my whole thing about past lives is, I'm like, well,

until you can tell me they definitively aren't true, I'm going to believe they are. I think it's just more interesting what i was gonna get at is that there's a memory that gets passed down through your genes and i think so i was an egyptian there's well there's probably some weird fucking memory that all of us have from all the different ancestors that we share dna with it only makes sense isn't it funny how everyone always thinks they're going to be like the king or the queen? And it's like, no.

You were the slave. You were the slave for homemade wine. I was a fucking starving slave for like 10,000 generations. I know it. I was a nobleman. No, you weren't. I ruled across a great land.

That's like, guys, I wrote about, I write a lot about when I was a playboy, I wrote about, like, I had this experience. I was like the second wife. I wasn't a wife, but I was a second in an open marriage. And all the guys think they're going to be that guy. And it's like, I was reading this book, and I forget which book it was or something. out which book it was or something and it said actually that men who had multiple wives and women had to start like not hogging all the women because it was causing so much strife within the like tribes yeah jordan peterson talks about that too that's one of the problem with incels

is that there's the men like the alpha men like the jason momoas of the world they have uh you know if they wanted to they could have a gang of women. And then other guys would be like, hey, what about me? But I kind of, honestly, I kind of liked the situation. The guy was so alpha, and it almost took two women to like balance him out. And from my perspective, I was like, I want a wife.

Me, as a wife, would want a wife too. I would want someone else to like, it a wife, would want a wife too. I would want someone else to like, it was so like, we did the gardening and like, sure. How long did this work out for? It didn't work out for that long. Like a couple months. A couple weeks? No, no, it was a while.

Did you see the king of Thailand like formally got rid of his concubine? What did he call him? Royal mistress. Royal mistress, yeah. Concubine would be a whore, right? Older. Yes.

A little old school. Old school. About the same thing, I think. I'm not sure. Concubine has more flair to it. But he had an official royal mistress that was actually, like, she had rank in the military. Oh. Yeah.

And she apparently disrespected the queen. So you had to shut her down. And you had to strip her of her power. Oh. And I was reading this. I thought you were going somewhere else with that. St oh and i was reading this i was like what strip her down yeah i was like piss on her what's happening when you go to thailand you cannot talk shit ever there it is there's the for king i don't know how to spell say his name oh my god

corn comes no responsibility at all. Well, so he has this... Was that his wife? Let me see the... What is the article? The King of Thailand... How do they say that? Peremptorily? I've never seen that word ever.

Have you ever seen that word? You're a writer. No, I don't... Peremptorily? Peremptorily. Is that... Dismisses his official mistress i'm not i'm not she was talking about the wife she disrespected the wife he's like kick rocks

bitch what does it mean i don't know look at her name oh boy now i have to i'm gonna be i look up every word i don't know though so now gratitude misbehavior and disloyalty. These were among the failings of, try saying her name, S-I-N-E-E-N-A-T-C-N-E-A-T. And here's the big one, W-O-N-G-V-A-G-I-R-A-P-A-K-D-I. I don't even want to try that one. Detailed in a scathing royal statement on October 21st. Apparently, the mistress Wanted to elevate herself to the same state as the queen Of course

That was ultimately why it didn't work out Really? You wanted to be number one? I didn't want to be number one Because that has a lot more responsibility And I'm not really that type A But I didn't feel like I felt like everyone's needs were being I was like

hey are you okay are you okay and no one was like hey is Bridget okay so I felt like that my my needs were the ones that got

pushed aside pushed aside yeah well you can call that bitch I'm sure you and we can start a little meeting you and that

whatever name no it was fine it was fine it was really just one of those things I'm such a writer We can start a little meeting You and that Whatever name it is No it was fine It was fine It was really just One of those things I'm such a writer And so curious What

On the She was just made That position In July It was the first time It was done in over a century Oh So she lost it very quickly

That's really fast That She basically was like Yo I want to be number one After like a month Yeah Alright That's a little entitled She gave it a shot Calm down

Prostate herself before the king and queen Former flight attendant Who he married in May Oh the queen's a former flight attendant Do you know that My friend's a flight attendant and she was telling me Because they don't have unions And all my friends from around the world are always like

Why are all the old ladies up in first class because in over in like all the asian airlines you're pretty much done at age 30 my friend works at united she's like you're done at 30 if you're you're because you're you're it's a young people it's like they want young good-looking women so they fire you that i mean they don't have unions so they're not in asia yeah but they have them in america right yeah we have them oh yeah yeah we have that's why like all the old ladies are in first class old ladies yeah like all my friends from around the world are like i don't understand that's where like the hottest people should be well that used to be what flight attendants were they were almost like uh cocktail waitresses like bottle service it's a hard job my my best friend i mean their schedule is insane i could

never do it and just the way they get treated their punching bags and their first responders most people don't understand that they're all so well trained and they're the ones that if shit goes down they're the first responders and then they have to call out and hope a doctor's on the plane it's crazy i mean the stuff she's told me where she's like had to you know two old ladies fighting over she's like ladies i'm embarrassed for you like this is also like they're a waitress who tells you what to do yeah they're waitress it tells you how to see sit down and buckle yourself up Was that your stand-up? That's in your bit where you're talking. That's hilarious.

I was laughing so hard because I remember getting so high. And actually, I hated airports when I was high. I was always like, okay. Because I get anxious around security. I'm the girl that could never be a drug mule. I look guilty. I look guilty if I didn't do anything. I get randomly searched every time I fly.

Every time. You look sketchy. I look sketchy. I think it's the eyebrows. That's what a homeless guy told me. What'd you say? He said my eyebrows made me look like trouble. What?

A homeless guy told you that? Yeah. You have normal eyebrows. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, maybe that's why I get flagged. That's why he's homeless. He doesn't... His shit judgment. That's why he's homeless. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about it doesn't make any sense anyway maybe that's why he's homeless he's home he doesn't his shit judgment that's why he's homeless i don't know he's on what he's called jamie you're like extra columbus today man yeah he's a shirt you

got a c hat cleveland hat oh sorry yeah oh you're extra ohio today yes you're doubling down yes oh we're in cleveland this weekend hollow saturday Saturday night. See you there, bitches. That'll be fun. Yeah. That's where everybody's going. I love Cleveland. Why? Because now all the people can't afford to live in California. So a couple of my friends have moved to Ohio, actually.

They're all going back. And also where Texas is a big one. Idaho, I heard, is the secret. Texas is filling up, though. Don't go to Austin. Idaho is the next secret one. Boise? They're going to be mad I told the secret. Yeah is filling up though. Don't go to Austin. Idaho is the next secret one. Boise? They're going to be mad

I told the secret. Yeah, I've told already. Yeah. Boise's pretty fucking dope. Yeah, yeah. So people are leaving because the cost of living here is insane.

The cost of living is insane and a fault line that hasn't moved in 500 years just shifted yesterday. I know, but the lady that I follow on Twitter who's like a seismologist debunked that it's not as big of a worry that bitch is going to be the first one to

die or it's going to open up under her feet and swallow her up like a big mouth we were doing a joke about that on the week on the dumpster fire video i was like you know the the protesters who like super glue their hand i'm like what have you did they superglue their hand to the fucking pavement and for what for the all those crazy climate protests talking about i'm no i'm no knowledge of this you're saying it like i know i mean i thought everyone saw these insane extinction rebellion videos can you google this they're google um protester oh my, my God. They super glue their hands. What is this crazy person doing? But they all do it.

And I was like... What are their names? Farhana... Oh, God damn it. These pop-ups. No, there's so many more. There was one girl... So somebody tweeted about how his favorite image was a girl doing it

and then not realizing that she had taken her backpack off yet. So you see her super glue her hand and then she goes... And I'm like, why are you doing this? I don't understand what this is. She super glued herself to the shell headquarters, the concrete outside of shell headquarters. But can you imagine if you do that and then there's an earthquake

and then you're just hanging by your super glued hand over the crack? But can you imagine when you want to get your hand back? No. Super glued. Do not pull me. Oh my God. Fuck you.

Glued on. Do not try to move. They have little signs. How do they get their fucking glue off? Look at her. I don't know. That's what I was wondering. Do not try to move.

Why are they doing this? Fucking morons. Because they're morons. It just pisses everyone off. But you had that guy who had the dead bee on the cover of his book, right? Dead bee on the cover of his book. He wrote that book and it's all about the climate and i forgot yes i just remember the cover because i was like really a dead bee yeah who was that again that's dramatic um but he scared the fuck out of me yeah yeah have you seen this bee look at that fucker no what is that what kind

of weird shit do you get well that was actually maynard from tool sent me that it's from his fucking vineyard oh that's one of them hornet wasps tarantula hawk yeah they kill tarantulas and lay their eggs inside of them yeah one time besides that fucker it's a goddamn bird yeah no i would be he was telling me how gross they are and how huge they are then he fucking sent me one i was like all right yeah no he's like what's your address i'm like what this fucking comes in the mail yeah you must get some weird stuff yeah i get some weird stuff yeah yeah i see all the um pictures of the tattoos people get of you yeah that's that's the weirdest thing there's probably hundreds of tattoos of my face on people's bodies

does that what does that make you feel all of this is tell me how that makes you feel yeah can we do this through facetime um i just the whole being me feels real like you would think oh you're used to it uh-uh i'm not used to it at all being me is fucking strange like people that love me people that hate me all of it's weird yeah like all of it's weird it's strange the all the attention every time people call my name like i'm about to go on stage and people cheer i'm like really yeah it all feels strange yeah never feels real and when did you start this podcast yeah 10 years 10 years ago december oh wow this december 24th it'll be 10 years oh that's amazing yeah and what have you learned the most from it over the year did

you have any why did you start it just for a goof me and brian red band did it for fun because we used to do this thing we would do in the green rooms where we would, it was on a thing called Justin TV, Justin.TV, and we would flip up this laptop and we'd talk to people in the green room of like comedy clubs. Just for fun. Okay. And then one day I was like, yeah, let's do it at my house. So he came over to my house and we did it and we were like, people would ask questions.

It was like fucking literally like 10 people online or 100 people. Yeah, that was like pre, I mean podcast we were doing that there was some podcast back then there was like um adam from mtv what is his name again jamie the guy adam curry adam curry was probably the first and i think he actually invented the name podcast. And then Corolla in 2000. What year is this? Oh, my gosh. This is 12 years ago. This is the green room.

Irvine. Ah, Irvine Improv. Yeah. Oh, my God. 12 years ago. That is crazy. So this is what we used to do. We would be in the green room.

Look at little Red Band. In between shows. Well, that was when Red Band had lost a ton of weight. Red Band broke up with his girlfriend and decided to uh get sexy for you uh i don't know it's hard to tell just kill this i don't want to see myself look at a beautiful beard though um so anyway we decided to do these um videos uh just talking to people yeah online and then the next thing you know, we're like, yeah, let's do it next week. So we did it next week.

Let's do it again. And then Brian was like, people are asking us to put this on iTunes. Like, okay, let's put it on iTunes. So we started putting them on iTunes. All right, let's do it every week. Let's do it every week. And then it just, by complete, just sort of natural occurrences, by natural circumstances, it just snowballed.

And then other guys started doing it. And then, you know, so many comics. How did it get to like this point? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I think this thing has a life of its own. I think this thing, like this tarantula hawk,

sticks a fucking needle in that tarantula's body and impregnates it with eggs. Technology impregnated me. It gave me this idea to do this. It forced me. And it found what I'm good at. And what I'm good at is talking to people and I'm curious. Yeah, yeah.

So, like, if you can get me a place where I can sit down for three hours and ask a guy like Sean Carroll, explain to me astrophysics. Explain to me quantum mechanics. Explain to me this. How do vaccines work? How does this work? How does that work? What is a propulsion?

What makes the sun stay hot? Like, why does that work? How does the interworking of a cell phone, what does it what is 5g is that bad for you is that giving you cancer you know what all these i i'm i've always been a person who asks a lot of questions and likes talking to people yeah and you don't seem to be um to i i feel very similar to you in this respect is that i'm not trying to like get any you know just have someone on and talk to them to be like, I got you. No.

That's the last thing I want to do. I just want to hear people's perspective and their point of view and learn things. I mean, I laugh when I think of when you're naming all these people. And I'm like, and then you have this moron. No, you're fun. Come on. Stop. Who tweeted her way into the center of the culture war.

I feel like I have gym teacher mouth right now. What does that mean? We got a little white stuff on the edges? When you talk, you know, I don't know. feel like I have gym teacher mouth right now. What does that mean? We got a little white stuff on the edges? Like when you talk, you know, while I call, I don't know. I always call it gym teacher mouth. No, you're fine. Okay. No worries at all.

I'm going to get self-conscious. Don't. Yeah, I mean. You know, gym teachers always had that. I never noticed until now. Do you know what she's saying? I know exactly what she's saying. My basketball coach had it. We used to laugh as a team.

Like, it would just fly around and hit people and shit. I feel like this is relatable. Joey Diaz gets that all the time. Like, a little white piece, like, on his lips. And you're like, do I tell him? Let him talk. No, tell him. Oh, not Joey.

No, no, no. Let him talk. I don't want him to be self-conscious. Yeah. I'd rather just stare at the white thing on his lips. I think it's cool, though, that you you've had in this time when there's um everybody is like these political abstractions or just two-dimensional abstractions you seem to have actually like hit that zeitgeist of desire because they're like oh everything everyone

has a short attention span i'm like well people are listening to joe for like fucking 25 hours a day i don't think people have short attention spans i think that people can have short attention spans like you can be distracted by a music video that constantly switches scenes over and over and over again but some people like to sit down and watch a conversation and like me i don't get bored having long conversations yeah enjoy them and i think if you're not bored while you're having a long conversation interesting conversation the people that are listening won't get bored either yeah but if you're bored they'll get bored yeah so you have to be genuinely interested that's why the beautiful thing about having a podcast where there's no one that's

telling me hey you have to have this person on or this guy's got a movie coming out i want you to have this person on and we're gonna have this person on because she has an album out there's none of that right so if i have someone on like hey gary clark jr's got a new album i love that guy let's bring him in it's always someone who i genuinely think is cool yeah yeah so i have real interest yeah talking to them and you get to just i mean it's it's just so it's so how many, I was laughing because I'm like, I think a lot of my exes listen to you. So this very moment right now is like the sweetest revenge of all. That's hilarious. It must be.

I think you had a joke about that where you're like, I'm sorry to the ladies who had to come because their boyfriends made them. Like, I'm sorry to the ladies who had to come because their boyfriends made them. I went to your set and it was like, it was literally like a, what do they call it? Like casting, you know, central casting of like Joe Rogan fans. I was the only one in the audience who didn't have a tattoo. I'm 100% sure of that. Maybe not 100. Not 100.

I wouldn't bet all your chips. I wouldn't push all your chips out of that table. it doesn't make any sense to me either i'm the only person who didn't have a joe rogan tattoo did you imagine that in the whole and they just hold up your face at you oh my god it's on their wrists yeah they're gonna slice it after i quit are you gonna move are you staying in cali i don't know I am preparing For this thing to fall apart though Fucking Palisades Was on fire yesterday

Yeah I know When the Palisades is on fire That shit's rough That's You know Like one of the things We were thinking about Like hey

Fucking all these fires Over here in the valley Yeah Maybe we should move To the Palisades No And then the Palisades Catch on fire

Yeah yeah I heard it was arson Did you hear that? think i i read that i mean i could be completely wrong let's not do any research at all don't even google it let's spread that rumor i heard it was incels incels that were mad at dan belzerian's house a joker premiere in someone's private home that's what it was That's what it was Yeah no I don't I'm not sure I go back and forth Where would you go?

That's the thing I love it here I mean You know what I like? Colorado Yeah I like Colorado a lot It's the healthiest state Is it really?

I think it's the most fit state Again I could be Completely making this up Fuck it Let's run with it Makes sense I mean you go Well in the altitude

Boulder Yeah Boulder everybody's out there Jogging Hiking and shit I was just in Boulder Yeah Boulder everybody's out there Jogging Hiking and shit I was just in Aspen Fuck it's gorgeous there Oh my god

Rich people know What's up Yeah they're not stupid They're rich No they know what's up That's the place to go Have you seen the prices For houses in Aspen

Yeah It's like they're trying To keep the riff raff out Oh yeah I mean And you have to When you do that dodgy fly in I love it It's so dodgy

I love it It is dodgy I in, I love it. It's so dodgy. I love it. It is dodgy. I know a dude whose friends died in a plane. Flying into Aspen? Yeah. Private Jack slammed into the mountain. Yeah, you're flying right into the... It was a snow out.

It was a white out. Terrifying. You couldn't see, and they fucked up. Hit the mountain, couldn't pull up in time. I was like, I've never been to Cabo until recently, and I was like, rich people know what's up. Yeah, they know what's up. Cabo's a like, I never been to Cabo until recently and I was like, rich people know what's up. Yeah, they know what's up. Cabo's a wreck though.

Is it? It's, everyone's so drunk. Oh. It's so ridiculous. I was in the rich people part. Oh, there you go.

I was like, off where like, Jennifer Aniston rents our house. Yeah. By the golf courses. He owns a fat condo out there in Cabo. They go there all the time.

It's special and magical. There were lots of whales. It is beautiful. It's gorgeous. Mexico's fucking amazing. And the food. Did you see what's going on right now in Sinaloa? The Sinaloa cartels?

And what part of it? Culiacan? I forget what part of Mexico. I've seen videos on Instagram going around. How do you keep track of all this shit? I don't know. I don't know. Like, in between all of these interviews and

all the stuff you do and working out and hunting elk for dinner well this is all over the news though and my friend ed calderon who's been on the podcast before he actually he runs like the the mexican anti-cartel he's like one of those anti-cartel military guys oh okay okay yeah and he explained a lot of like what's going on down what's going on well they arrested el chapo's son oh i did see there's a gunfight many parts of mexico the government has surrendered in fight against cartels it's very bad it's lawless yeah the cartels have unlimited amounts of money because they're selling drugs to white people. Yeah, white people need to stop doing drugs. White people here in America are buying all the cartels' cocaine and meth.

Yeah, if you care about Mexico, stop doing drugs. Stop it. That's like all the hippies. I always laugh hysterically when they're super gluing themselves and getting all high. I'm like, do you have any idea? I've worked on these farms i see what they do the environment like you're not exactly helping the environment with your weed habit

no offense to all the weed smokers i love you but any large-scale agriculture is devastating to the environment it's so sad what's happening with big weed up there because I worked over the- I can't believe you called it big weed. It is big weed. It is. You don't think it is? I'm sure it is. But that expression, big weed, is like so hilarious. Like weed is an industry now.

It is. And it was because I worked up in the farms for the transition. So I worked from when it was like mom and pop just places. And now they're paving over some of the most fertile soil in freaking Oregon or California so they can put these huge domes. They give off all those lights so they can build. It's fucked up. It's fucked.

It's big weed. Anytime you have large scale agricultural animals in the environment get fucked over. Yeah. This is something that like vegans hate hearing this but if you're buying grain you're buying grain most likely from large-scale agriculture and that shit is fucking terrible for animals uh terrible for the environment yeah terrible for like you're not supposed to have thousands of acres of all one thing yeah you're not supposed to have that that's not normal you can't have thousands of acres of corn.

That's just not normal. I always used to laugh because it's such the, like they would rewash the little plastic Ziploc baggies, you know, at the farm. And they'd be like, we're going to recycle these. And there would be like huge entire piles

of just deer netting that you use to like keep the colas up. Like just piles of plastic. I'm like, okay, guys. I'm not sure. Not at the place where i was that's good but it was a lot of like the teas they make you know to like boost these things holy shit i mean it's crazy what's the teas it's like they use all these um uh different different things like fertilizers and different and they make these huge batches of teas that they use to fertilize

tea like Lipton tea it's not tea they just call it tea and it's like a booster for the nutrients essentially and it boosts the THC yeah and it boosts

just the you know this is all like outdoor it's so interesting that like in the 1990s when I first came here you had to have a license I think it was like 94 or 95 it became legal

and I didn't start smoking until 98 legal medically oh okay is that long ago I think it was And I didn't start smoking until 98. What became legal? Legal medically. Oh, okay. Is that long ago? Yeah, I think it was, I want to say it was 95. What year was marijuana medically legal? I think it's 99.

Jamie's a motherfucker with that Google. He Googles better than any man that's ever lived. I think it's 94. I think 94 they passed the medical marijuana laws. Oh. 96. So I started smoking in 98. I came here in 94.

I started smoking in 98. And back then, it was still sketchy. You smoked for the first time in 98? No, I smoked a handful of times when I was young. Okay. Between the time I was like 14 and 30 i might have smoked pot i don't think so you didn't really start smoking till you were 30 yeah oh wow i don't even think it was 10 times how do you feel in your in your sober october like what what are the biggest differences that you notice

or do you notice any i feel great yeah yeah do you feel the booze is what gets you booze get like booze slows you down for sure like i feel way better without a couple of drinks but i like a couple of drinks yeah so it's like the balancing act of i wish i could have a couple drinks yeah i don't i don't see the point i don't i like you want a bucket well i just don't see the point it's like decaf coffee Or you know I'm like what You don't see the point

Of a couple of drinks No Because I want to get You're ready to go party Yeah And I was saying this You know Before we came out

I'm like I wish I could just smoke weed Because I did that Through So for most of my 20s I did everything to avoid Having to get sober again And a lot of my 30s

And I definitely Was trying to like manage it and there were years where I just smoked weed and didn't drink but what happens to me is that it'll be a gorgeous day like this and I'll be down in Venice and I'll smoke some weed and then maybe I'll get a little racy because the weed is racy and then I'll want to balance it out with that gorgeous looking half from on the waterfront and next thing know, I'm doing lines in the townhouse. Like that's where it goes every time for me. Do you think that there's like a well-oiled groove that's in your brain that once you get some substances in there, like, woo, you know what to do here?

I wonder what it is because it's interesting because so many, this is why I love like 12 Step because no one fucking wants to be there. And there's some of the funniest places ever. And then I'll hear people come talk about like 12 Step and how it doesn't work and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, it works for a lot of people. And every time I go, I get to listen to like essentially some fucked up story that turned into a miracle like

some guy who was like and then I had hookers and then I was jailed and then now like and you've been sober and you're like an upstanding like there these rooms are filled with people who would be menaces to society myself included I came out of a blackout driving on the 405

yeah it was one of the hands down most terrifying moments of my life it was and i had been at universal studios so i had driven all the way from universal to the 405 getting on the 10 you didn't even know how you got there i had no recollection apparently i had been out with a bunch of people and i got scared when i was at the bar because there were these guys following me around i was with a a bunch of like poker high rollers. And I made alcoholism look amazing. I did.

You know what's crazy? But they were security guards. I didn't know this. People love it when you can get off drugs. Like that's one addiction that people take very seriously and they're happy for you when you get off of drugs or alcohol. But if you get off of gambling, nobody gives a fuck. well some people do i mean it's funny because i've had four i've helped four people quit smoking weed in the past year and it is gnarly and part of the problem i know you i know you give me this face i know i know i know you don't want to hear it um but

these are people who were really addicted to it and they couldn't stop. Physically or mentally? Well, I think the physical part you get over. It's just that it's insidious because you get laughed at. They wanted that fuzzy distance? Yeah. The fuzzy distance. And it's easy.

And it's like for me, what I noticed was that it was like this glass kind of ceiling made of smoke. that um it was like this weed seal glass kind of ceiling made of smoke and once i stopped quit smoking weed i was suicidally depressed for two years like two years i've smoked for 20 years in my developmental teenage years i don't think i had any took you two years to get i mean it's an oil i think it gets in your fat well i hear that before I do. I don't think there's any real logic to that. No, I don't think there's any science. No. I just know from my experience that it took me a while to get back online. Got it.

And I felt like I was having a hard time kind of boosting up to where I now. I'm naturally like a happy girl. I wake up and I'm like, tra-la-la. But for the two first years I got sober, it was gnarly. It was ugly. i think there's different people i mean i'm just joking around but i'm not being addicted i think there's people that get addicted to a lot of things well it's been what's the problem is that people don't take it seriously so they'll be like oh yeah that's not a real addiction because it doesn't

kill anybody so when someone says that i'm addicted to pot like ah get over it but it's like you won't do but so you don't do anything. You know, I'm like, yeah, you won't do anything. You won't kill anybody. You just won't do anything. And I think from my experience, the clarity that I got is kind of priceless. I mean, I used to write this stuff and think that I was just so funny or so insightful. And it was like like what the fuck was

that's the most embarrassing thing when you write something high you think it's good i'm gonna come back and read my journals that i wrote when i was high and thought i was so insightful and you can tell i'm just high and drunk like writing thinking that i'm being like so insightful but occasionally you'll get gems yeah occasionally marijuana will let a little fucking air through. And you're like, oh, what is this I found? I miss it. I was saying that the addict in me, it's the thing I love the most. I've always loved it the most.

And the addict in me, I'm like, I'm worried I'm going to give myself cancer so that I need to see that. Like subconsciously. And then when I got sober I did get cancer I got basal cell Did you really? Yeah but basal cell Like is I was like

I guess I need to smoke weed Now my friend's like It's basal cell Bridget Like it's not real cancer What is basal cell? It's um I don't know It's like

It's a type of skin cancer? It's skin cancer But it's like the least I have a scar here It's like the least Dangerous It's not It's kind of a joke I mean Joke? Maybe Didn't it kill Bob Mar least, I have a scar here. It's like the least, it's not, it's kind of a joke.

I mean, maybe, maybe, I don't know. Maybe, maybe I'll Google this and find out it kills like millions of people. But it was, my doctor made practically a joke of it. It's kind of like the Beto O'Rourke of skin cancer. Oh, that guy. It's like, it wants a lot of attention, but it's. I don't know if he became president. But it's completely ineffective. That, that guy. It's like, it wants a lot of attention, but it's... I don't know if he became president. But it's completely

ineffective. That guy's adorable. No, he's... His name is so close to Beta, too. I know, Beta. And he is. Yeah, I know.

I know. Do you think that he's just, like, using his, his, like, father-in-law's money? Well, he definitely is doing that, right? Is that... Isn't he?

I don't know. I have no evidence. I think he's a crazy guy who thinks he can be president. Starting rumors on JoeRogan.com. Let's keep starting rumors. I think he started the fire in the Palisades. He probably gave me cancer, too. He gave me skin cancer.

Yeah, he's the one who made you drink. Yeah. He provided the lines at the condo. I do. i do sometimes like i watch your podcast and it's like fuck i wish i could just go drink whiskey with the boys like i used to and like go travel the world i was in sri lanka partying and it was in did you ever have a good night partying though where it all all the time yeah and you had a good night where it didn't go off the rails? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you're not an alcoholic. No. I do a whole standard routine

about how when I quit drinking, my family gave me like a reverse intervention. Because my family's all so, they're so, there's a little cute aunt. It's like an Irish Catholic huge family. Right. It's just part of the culture.

Right. and they were like we're worried about you you're not drinking enough that's hilarious what are you pregnant what are you sober yeah what are you sober oh wait you're gonna get vegan now bridge you're gonna start using condoms what are you gonna do save the whales you stop using plastic straws yep yep yeah you're fucking lip tides Yeah. It's hilarious. You fucking libtards out there. It's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, I think there's people that can't do stuff. Yeah.

There's people that can. I wish I could. I tried. I mean- But you seem to be having a good time. It's a mere- I'm still nuts. All the second wife stuff happened in sobriety.

That was like a crazy time. That time in my- It wasn't like college. It was like I was like 37 years old seemed like a little sidetrack no big deal i i'm i'm grateful it's a miracle that i did make it make it to getting sober like when i look from 20 to 35 i mean even those years when i moved back when i was here at 19 in the valley it was just a lot of playing dominoes and doing blow late into the dominoes oh yeah all night with a bunch of like d-list like porn stars and a lawyer who dealt us all of our

blow and it was just hilarious and it's i i was uh yeah i mean i and from that to like dating a really rich dude and being all over europe and drinking Dom everywhere and being in San Tropez. And I was like, I've always joked. I've made it look amazing. And people are like, why did you quit? Why did you quit, Bridget? And they want to hear some story like I killed someone in a drunk driving accident, something that they can. And I'm like, I was just dying inside.

Like something in me knew that I could do better. Like I knew, there's like a little voice that always knew. And part of it was being in rehab at 19. Like it wasn't like I had evidence. There's plenty of hints.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine Me on Twitter in 2016 With alcohol and drugs I'd be banned I'd be cancelled And I'd be banned

You could just say You had a problem with substances And now you're clean You were sick No I would have been banned from Twitter So you start a new account A lot of people do that I'm grateful you do Sober October Because it does make me feel I've been banned from Twitter, for sure. So you start a new account. A lot of people do that. I don't know.

I'm grateful you do Sober October because it does make me feel, it's like the one month that I can safely not watch your podcast and not be like white knuckling it. I'm enjoying it. It's not bothering me at all. I like a glass of wine with meals. Yeah, yeah. With steak.

I miss that too. I never had one glass of that. I like a cold beer on a hot day but i'm not having a problem i like it you know and i'm just working out a lot i think too knowing there's an end makes it easier it does but one thing that i'm seeing is the way i feel like when i do shows at night like tonight i have uh two shows tomorrow i have two shows and i know i'm not gonna be drinking either show so i know when i wake up in the morning, I'm going to feel good. And do you notice a difference in your show?

Is there a difference in your shows? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I probably am more coherent. My timing's probably a little better. I don't know, but then maybe I'm not as loose. But by the end of the month, like right now, I'm the 20th. It's the 22nd. It's all gravy. Do you think that your audience would turn on you if you were like right now I'm the 20th you know it's the 22nd it's all gravy

do you think that your audience would turn on you if you were ever like I'm done yeah no it would be fine nobody gives a fuck what you do

it's true you could be sober or not so as long as if you're funny if you're doing well if like the people are coming to see you and you put in the work

and they're laughing they're having a good time you're putting on a good show they're not going to be mad at you yeah Bridget I got to wrap this up. I know. It's three o'clock.

It's been amazing. We did it. We did it. Thank you for having me. My pleasure. We'll do it again for sure. Okay. Tell people your Twitter handle.

Oh, at Bridget Phetasy, you can find me. Spell that out. B-R-I-D-G-E-T-P-H-E-T-A-S-Y. You can find my Walk-Ins Welcome podcast anywhere. And I have the weekly dumpster fire show on YouTube, which is bananas. Yay. Thank you. My pleasure.

Thanks for doing this. It was fun. Yeah. Bye, everybody. Bye. That was so fun. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.