The Joe Rogan Experience - #1372 - Kevin Smith

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

Kevin Smith is a filmmaker, actor, comedian, public speaker, comic book writer, author, and podcaster. Look for his movie "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot" on tour now with tickets available at https://rebootroadshow.com/

Headphones. Do I need them? I like them. I mean, just to gauge my own voice. You don't need them. We do not have them. We can call-ins, right? No, no.

No, we don't need them. I like how you're mocking me with that marijuana. Come on, man. Just openly. It's your sober October. Yes, I know, man. It's my un-sober lifetime. When was the last time you were sober?

How many days have you ever done it? What a great question. Let me see. When was the last time? were sober how many days have you ever done it what a great question um let me see when was the last time it was somewhere i was on the road i couldn't get my hands on weed probably when i was in london or something like that that's usually an overseas thing right um and i went like two days and you know it's like I did my time, man. I felt like, oh, I get it. And I remember what this was like. Right. But like, why bother? Like, you know, post heart attack, I feel like I'm living on borrowed time anyway.

So I'm like, well, I'm going to spend that time as well as I possibly can. And generally in a THC drenched condition, this is not a brag and i'm not like kids you should try this at home but like i only am not ingesting when i sleep so like i wake really yeah all day yeah is there anything is that don't say it like that the way you're like all day like judgy i mean just because it's sober october i'm you'd be joining me right yes i would but i'm always like smoke this member november i'm always in awe of people who do go 24 7 i think really because i only do it because i thought you did do you need it i was trying to impress you what am i out here alone i always had the i was under

the impression you too i know you do a lot more and shit well let's talk about that real quick i get to interview you for sure sure you know i i've been in here in jumps and spurts right and in those jumps and spurts you have become like the most powerful fucking broadcaster on the planet like crazy popular everywhere then you can crack a smile you know i'm right and shit well it's don't don't go hard on me no it's weird why because it's well can't you enjoy it come on motherfucker i wanted to like my whole life i wanted to be at the top of something really you are at it i was at the top of podcasts for like a minute back when we started and shit back in the old fleshlight days but like you are now beyond you've transcended

the fucking medium you gotta tell me if don't wince you gotta tell me it feels good otherwise what am i striving for in my career and to be honest i don't really strive if you've seen the shit i do but like there is an idea of like you know oh man at the top it must be amazing and like no bullshit you're absolutely the top you had fucking snowden on your podcast dude um everything feels exactly the same but different explain um it's still fun i still enjoy talking to people like you and i had my friend kyle kolinsky on earlier i've had some really interesting people on i love i've always enjoyed talking to interesting people. So that's the same. Everything's the same in that regard. It's different in that it's very obvious when I go places that it's having more of an impact.

Because you're the same person, right? But the world changes. Like the impact. You put out the signal and the world sort of changes and shifts. Right, right. More lovers, more haters, more this, more that. Everything just increases. It becomes more lovers more haters more this more that just it's um everything just increases it becomes more yeah it becomes more it becomes it becomes weird people want to interview you people want to do things and i don't do any of those things let me tell

can i tell a quick story yeah because i don't want i never want to cut you off because you i could listen to you you're you're just a shame and you're a guru i love coming here and i have loved coming here but now there's this different onus to it because it's like, I better use my time wisely. Fucking Bernie Sanders is next. You know what I'm saying? It's nice, but this is how authentic Rogan is. So we're making Jay and Silent Bob reboot,

and I reach out to everybody I know about being in the movie. And even the people that are like oh man I don't want to go to New Orleans that's far I'm like you do remember I almost died of a fucking heart attack like all right I'm coming I guilted like everybody into coming so Jordan who's our producer Jason Mewes's wife she runs our company um she's like I I reached out to Joe's manager and he said he's not interested. I was like, you know what? Let me handle this.

I'll reach out to Joe. I got Joe on direct. I don't need a manager, man. Some 10% are fucking getting between me and my boy and shit. So I fucking emailed or texted Joe, and I was like, hey, man, we're making Reboot. Do you want to come play? And just flat out on Front Street, as true as it can be,

he goes, I hate that acting shit. That's what you wrote. I don't like it. And you were like, I'm flattered, but I don't want to do that. He's like, I'll talk to you about it when it's done. I was like, all right. That's how authentic you are.

I just don't. You know you're in a place right now where you're like, can't fucking ruin my credibility with shit like acting anymore. It's not a ruin the credibility thing. What is it? I don't like doing it. I know. It takes too much time.

I don't have a whole day. And that's not critical. That is not. And that was not me going, look, I thought it was fantastic. I thought it was adorable, honestly. I'm trying to do less things. I was like fucking so on brand. Yeah.

Why? Tell me why. Because I do too much. I'm doing, you know, between all the podcasts that I do, doing commentary the ufc doing stand-up comedy there's a lot of things three things you've been doing for the last fucking decade bro there's a lot of things i mean they've all increased perhaps like i don't i'm not in the fighting world so i don't know if your your jobs there have exponentially increased i knew you were no i've actually cut that back a lot and the more i've cut that back the more i cut things back the happier i am and then stand- cut that back, the more I cut things back, the happier I am.

And then stand-up, has that increased? Stand-up has not cut back at all. So this has increased. This has increased quite a bit, yeah. And so the idea, like, I'm doing six podcasts this week. And then I'm flying to New York on Thursday. And then I'm doing Artie Lang on Friday in New York. So that would be a seventh podcast.

We're going to carry that one over to the next week. Right. But that does not leave any room for trips to New Orleans to do a movie. No doubt. It doesn't leave any room to do anything. I get all these weird requests to do things that just are not interesting. I don't want to do them. And yours is one of the most interesting things.

Believe me, I'm not babooning on you, Spock, going like, why didn't you come? I just don't have time. It was the most interesting things i know and believe me i'm not babooning on your spot going like why didn't you come i just don't have time it was the most on brand fucking response and it was also a lesson in like let me let me reach out this manager knows nothing and the manager exactly my manager is a rare thing she knows exactly how i feel about everything so he doesn't you know i just i say no to everything man i don't want to do anything you and i started podcasting roughly around the same time and it never occurred to me when i started and i wonder if it occurred to you to do seasons no right like once you just turned on the machine the machine just kept going and there's this there's an a gaping maw like how do you tell an audience that's used to

access all the time like um we're gonna do it in a clip and then take a bunch of time off and stuff right no like a television show has seasons yeah and they they seem to do that like i remember when serial had like hey we're this many and we're done i'm like oh i never thought of that yeah that's a novel but that's a corporate approach, right? Explain. Well, it's like the same type of people that would put together a television show. I mean, that's their approach. That's the approach that someone who was doing something along those lines

and then transitioned into podcasting, that's how they would approach it, the way they would approach a Netflix show or an HBO show or whatever it is. Have you encountered a bunch of that? Again, you've been in the space for quite some time. Now podcasts, of course, it's crazy crowded. Everybody does it.

But the business, my industry or the industry that I sometimes work in, use podcasting like proof of concept now. So you go into some place with a pitch for a TV show and they're like, hmm, maybe, why don't you try it out as a podcast and hit us back.

That's what's happening a lot. That's interesting. I met somebody who was a friend of mine who like worked at Miramax with me back in the day. She's gone on,

like she's producing, like she put together a podcast package where she took it to a TV network and the TV network wasn't interested. And she was like, this is a good concept, man. I'm gonna sell it. And I think they sold it to like iHeart or something like that.

Six figure thing. It was like a hundred grand. I'm like, they're paying a hundred grand for podcasts now? And they're like, no, no, that's just what that person got paid to bring in that show. It's a big, big, crazy industry. And so I've been looking for the, like the last year and going like, well, clearly he must be approached on the regular to do this for somebody.

And clearly every time you're like, why would I bother? Like I could do exactly what I want. I've definitely been approached a few times. Had to be like, as I've watched the star rise and rise, I'm like, why would I bother? Like I could do exactly what I want. I've definitely been approached a few times. Had to be like, as I've watched the star rise and rise, I'm like, Oh my God, like nobody's snatched him up yet.

And then I realized, of course you've been, there've been overtures, but of course, like you kind of, you've, for those who've never been in this place, it's like,

why would you slap a logo on it? It's your own. You built your own fucking thing from scratch yeah well i'm pretty outside of the hollywood thing now you know i don't really but there's but there's a market for i don't outside of the hollywood thing like there is some company that would be like we will pay you and i i suspect you've been offered crazy fucking money and had the integrity to be like no i still like what i'm doing i like this exactly i'm not changing shit i mean it would have to be make me cry but i don't have that's so punk right that's so indie film that's so like like you get it a lot

of people like built their ships and then like instantly tried to sell them and like this was one thing that like you and i get emotional about this shit you and i like were there for the beginning of something yeah we weren't there for the beginning stand up you're great at it you weren't there when we'll be there for the beginning of usc and shit but like podcasting was something like you were there for the beginning of i was there for the beginning of and now it's saturated we were first wave there was a couple guys before me like corolla was before me i was before me you were before marin-Corolla. Marin was before me. I go before Marin and Corolla. Adam Curry.

Adam Curry is the absolute first. He's the podfather. He's the number one. He creates it. Yeah. Have you had him on here? No, I have not. I don't know him.

I know, but- Where does he live? I have no idea. I think he's in Texas or something. Think about it. Podcasting changed your life. Talk to the guy who was the first guy that was like, I think this is a good idea. I think he named it. Last time I was talking to you guy that was like, I think this is a good idea.

I think he named it. Last time I was talking to you, I was like, you got to get Macaulay Culkin on, and you did. He was great. Wasn't he fantastic? He's such a trip. I got another catch for you. Okay. It's good.

And it's going to sound promotional, but it kind of is, but at the same time it isn't. But I want to tell this dude's stories. But there's a company called Caviar Gold makes weed. I know it's Sober October. They make our weed. Well, I only have a couple more days. Oh, I'm going to leave you with this, and you're going to be in heaven.

This is a sativa. 29th, 30, 31. You're going to be able to have this. Snoochie Boochies is a sativa. Oh, that's hilarious. Is that a box of weed? Yeah, pre-rolls. That's outrageous. I took the first row, though, to be fair.

Let me see that. I smoked it myself. Jesus Christ. That's the sativa. That's the wake-up weed. You smoke that, you're ready to clean house, record podcasts. It's also pumped up with CBDs. My man Mike at Caviar controls.

He's like Swamp Thing. He controls the plant. He works with distillates. He could take your weed make a super weed so that's that's the sativa it's it smells like tell me what it smells like smells like a heart attack no man it smells like maple i said uh he goes what do you want it to smell taste like i said breakfast oh it does smell like maple you got to get it right up there it smells like one of them mcdonald's got to get it right up there it smells like

one of them mcdonald's mcgriddles yes yes bitch it's like smoking a mcgriddle how'd they do that um he's a genius this was a dude who was like i couldn't get high off weed anymore i had to figure out how to make weed better so i could get high of it that's the sativa and he's he's gonna be a billionaire man um but you gotta have him on the show, dude, because his story is fascinating. His weed-growing story? How he got to this place in life. It made me want to be in business with him. I was like, this guy, he's got a movie in him.

So that's the Sativa. This is the Indica. And this shit is deep on the THC. It's called Snugans. This is Indica. Yes. This is a's called Snugans. This is indica. Yes. This is a go to sleep weed. You're going dark.

So this is like 45% THC right here. Smoke. 45%. Yes, son. Oh my God. What in the fuck, man? It's amazing. I smoked this with Be Real and I watched them go down hard.

Be Real went down? You took Be Real down? I did the smoke box. I did the longest episode ever. And then this is the hybrid and the hybrid is called berserker i'm gonna leave you guys these three boxes as soon as sober october is done oh my goodness smoke them give them out the guy who um we do the weed with i've been smoking his weed for like two years this caviar gold weed i love it it's insane it's the weed you smoke if you're a stoner and you want to get stoned so i hit them up because we got in percent 45 what did it used

to be it'll change it's like werewolf weed it'll change it 20 what it used to be i mean if you know most pre-rolls you go buy an expensive pre-roll 20 to 25 range what is it like when you go to england and you take two days off what is that feeling you sit there and go like boy everything sure is crisp uh does it need to be it's not bad it's not like i'm jones and i'm pounding tables i i don't have that kind of relationship with it but it is kind of like you know like remember i wore the hockey jersey forever you know a lot of people were like uh you don't want to wear something else i'm like i'm i'm you know i've been married for like 20 years like i dig in i'm once something works for me i stick with it right went vegan still vegan you know like never really altered since that happened and stuff so you did that post heart attack right post heart

attack after right the day after the heart attack because my kid made me my kid was like she'd been vegan for a couple years and she was like scared because she'd never been through anything real first world kid wonderful kid but like yeah tragedies in life and shit like that we you know we do are you getting regular blood worked on i just went and saw my doctor um what is it two months ago um dr ladenheim and uh did the stress test where you know you're on the treadmill and you grow up and stuff and then they take all the blood and he was like whatever you're doing keep doing it it's amazing he said i can see your heart because they take pictures of your heart he's like i know where the heart attack was so i know exactly where to look he's going if i

didn't know where to look you would never tell he's like right now there's no lasting damage He's going, if I didn't know where to look, you would never tell. He's like, right now there's no lasting damage. Keep going. So I hike Runyon every day. Nice. I vegan out like a year and a half ago because of the kid. And haven't really strayed back, so I'm all plant-based.

And I'm intermittent faster. I don't eat breakfast anymore. I'm not going to be like, breakfast is propaganda. But it kind of is. You don't really need to eat that early in the day. You know what? That's untrue. Thin people maybe do.

A guy my size certainly didn't need to be eating breakfast. Could have skipped a few meals. I do the same. I take 16 hours off. You wait to break the fast. Do you pick a time or is it as deep as you can go? No, just 8 and 16. I just do it based on. So what's the soonest you eat then, generally speaking?

It depends. But I've gone as late as like 1, 2 in the afternoon. you know i just do it based on what's the soonest you eat then generally speaking it depends but i've gone i've gone as late as like one two in the afternoon yeah that's why i try to make it till noon the earliest and like by two i'm ready i'm ravenous yeah yeah i think um it's totally doable it's it's not your body gets really used to it too what i generally do is uh i get up in the morning i'll have a cup of coffee and then i work out and either i run or i do yoga or do something whatever i do is pretty intense and then uh i do podcasts generally around noon that's when i start the day and uh so i'm i've already been up for hours and hours and sometimes i don't even eat until after the podcast sometimes i'll eat it like three have you gone days where you don't eat at all no

i've done that i burn off too many calories i think you also work out every day i just have the hike and stuff but i i love days where i can totally skip all the way down because the body is still feeding off of like yeah stored energy and stuff like that. But I'm also a WW guy, ambassador. So that made my reduced eating made staying on points insanely easy. Right, right. Are you just maintaining now? Are you trying to continue to lose?

I'm maintaining. I'm on the road for the next 60, well, we have 63 dates with Jane, Silent Bob, Reboot. We've just been in Jersey, Chicago, Detroit, Grand Rapids, St. Paul, St. Louis, Columbus as the first leg. And now we go to Texas and stuff. We're doing that for like 60, two weeks. Is this a publicity tour?

We're just touring the movie. Rather than like, hey, we'll put the movie out in a thousand theaters. We don't have that kind of marketing money. Instead, me and Jay are just touring with the movie. Essentially, it's like a comedy tour or like a small punk band tour. We go to a theater. We set up shop. We

sold tickets in advance. A lot of the tours sold out. Rebootroadshow.com for tickets. We intro the movie, watch the movie with them and then hang out afterwards q a and shit like that and for me it's like you know it's it's pretty grueling schedules every day in a different city but every day i get to like sit and watch the movie with the exact audience it was made for it's not like walking into a multiplex that's playing your movie and even if it's crowded you're like, I hope all these cats get every joke and stuff.

This is the crowd the movie was made for, so every reference, every joke lands. You feel like a genius. I sit in the back of the room and watch the back of their heads like a dirty little cuck at every screening, man, just ready to fuck a jerk off. I'm so happy with myself. I'm like, I'm so clever listening to them laugh.

It's like stand-up, but with the movie essentially right right and you know it's it's we've just taken the movie and kind of eventized it by being like hey man come watch it with us because you do that that's very cool and in a world where people would come see me and jay anyway talk about the old movies like and pay 50 to 100 bucks we're like they'd pay the same thing see us bring a new fucking movie so it's been incredibly successful man like big sold-out shows we've had to like double up on shows but watching it with the audience is like it's it's it's fantastic you guys do a q a or yeah afterwards and i wait we share the stage which is difficult because i tend to you know as you see like i'm blah blah blah so i've tried to hold back to let him kind of take front and center during the

q and a because he's the star of the movie and he's amazing in the fucking flick like i tell people at the beginning of every night i'm like i we only get to make this journey and we've been doing it for 25 years since clerks because like i met a boy who said dirty things to me and i said come with me we're going to hollywood and like i met a boy who said dirty things to me and i said come with me we're going to hollywood and like i met a true american original jason muse who i said you i think you're funny i wonder if people would find you funny outside of new jersey and like somebody should put you in a movie one day and then one day i was that person and he was our passport and has been our passport to the world the guy least likely the guy that was never going to get out of highlands you know on his own accord but like simply by being like wait say these

things here on camera now we've got a movie like he opened up the entire world to us so it's his finest hour in this movie like he's funny as fuck man he carries the whole show but he also gets to be emotional because it's about him finding out he's got a long lost daughter and shit so it's father daughter movie and and so there are moments in the movie where people cry and not because like kevin fucked up another movie like they're like oh my god like he's he's getting me there as an actor it's been like fucking thrilling to watch so every night like it was thrilling to watch when we made it every night i get to like sit back and watch the audience take it in. And I'm used to making comedy and you want people laughing.

Otherwise, if it's silence, it's death. But there are moments in the movie where like it's quiet and that's a good thing. And like, you know, I still clench my asshole because in any silence, you're always like you just need one heckler to be like, fuck, this blows or whatever. And the audience breaks or whatever. So far, man, it's been like really fucking beautiful. You just put the seed out there, though. The fuck this blows seed. I the audience breaks or whatever so far man it's been like really fucking beautiful you just put the seed out there though the fuck this blows i know i know i know fuck as it fell out of my mouth i was like you just damned yourself we're going to houston tomorrow night like i left the tour because joe was gracious enough to be like hey man you could come in on the 29th and we had a day off and stuff so i left i was in columbus last night

this is a place called studio 35 they were like tell joe rogan we want him i was like to be fair everybody wants do you know studio 35 indianola fucking on indianola yes holy shit man fuck i was just there what's crazy you were you there a week ago wait so you know that theater it's fantastic fucking theater i i always know columbus as that theater as that street and then we actually went into the city and i was like they built a whole city around that little corner and shit they're like that's been here forever um did you know and you must know columbus is the swinger capital of the united states of america what columbus is a lot of things is that what it says on the license plate maybe yeah a lot of things it probably should uh we

were staying there we went to do a show at studio 35 like years ago for the first time like almost 10 years ago we've known these cats some great people and they put us up in a house and um like you know the house was like neatly appointed but nobody lived there like even as an airbnb it was just like this very clean and shit and so when we got back to the place they're like do you like the house and we were like yeah it's nice man it's in the middle of the woods away from everything down a beaten path and shit and we were like yeah it's nice then they're like it's the swinger house and i'm like what do you mean they're like that's the house where the swingers go to fuck should they were like didn't you notice all the boxes of tissues

and i realized every fucking room had a box of tissues in the corner. So it's the swing. And I was like, why would that happen here in Columbus, Ohio? And they were like, Columbus, Ohio is the swinger capital of the United States of America. You should go back with a black light. And check it all out. Look at this Jackson Pollock motherfucker. Find out what's happening, where the splatters are.

I think I remember that night sleeping on my jacket on top of the bed because i was like you know i got my own cum to deal with but had you ever heard that or is that horseshit that's where hustler started was in columbus downtown columbus is where larry flint started hustler i think we're fucking on to something columbus is the birth of a lot of fucking places that's what he said you open up the door for Jamie he's got conspiracy theories that go for days

I don't care right now this would change the whole show I don't care man Columbus is this hidden jewel it's a great place it is really really cool

it's a great place I love it but it's a great fucking theater man I've yet to see any proof of swinger activity myself I recorded my

2009 Comedy Central special at the it was a spike tv special at the time at the southern theater in columbus yeah with a good crowd fuck yeah it's great i love columbus i love it last time i was there was like what year and a half ago yeah september the schottenstein yeah about a year ago, yeah. About a year. They came out for us last night, man. They sold out two shows for us. Really lovely people. I love it. So we go to Houston tomorrow.

First show in Houston sold out. I'm there in a couple weeks. Are you? Yeah. Sell me a few tickets. We got to sell like 20 tickets in that second Houston show because we've not had a show that isn't sold out. Like we played the Fillmore in Detroit that was sold out.

When is it? When is the show? There's one, the one in Houston is tomorrow night but like then there's like san diego there's a chattanooga that's been a difficult one to sell you ever been to chattanooga no never been um we we posted a show and it was moving and we were like all right we'll add a second show and then both of the shows kind of stalled at certain place. So Chattanooga, Tennessee. How active are you on social media? Pretty active.

Like I post every day on Instagram and every day on Twitter. I kind of keep those active. What's the new one that all the kids do? TikTok. Yeah. Do you do TikTok? Nope. Because we're men.

And not men like we're fucking butch. Just we're old men. Fucking men. We're old. That's what it is. How old are you? It comes down to 49. 52. Really? Yeah. Old as fuck. we're old men we're old we're old how old are you down to 49 52 really yeah so like not for nothing but like if that's 52 and this is 49 what were we worried about we were worried about what

52 was when we were in high school which was what dead people people who didn't take vitamins people didn't exercise regularly people weren't on top of it maybe i'm just biased because the older i get i want to believe this but like didn't the didn't 50 look older when you were a kid 100 did like when my dad was 50 i was like oh fuck all right there's 50 the dudes look different now it's health you know it's it's um diet diet's a big factor getting enough nutrients not smoking cigarettes that's a huge factor. Getting enough nutrients. Not smoking cigarettes. That's a huge factor. Smoking weed instead. That's true.

I'll put cigarettes down. Weed probably does a lot for you. It relaxes you for sure. Weed saved my life. It for sure reduces inflammation. And CBD, I am a giant proponent of CBD. I take CBD every day. I don't want this to sound like a commercial but that sativa is pumped up

with 30 cbds he jacks out the cbd so when you smoke it you're not only you're healing something as you smoke it but it's a nice crisp pie that sounds like a commercial but it's good yeah i just i take it in drop form i drink this stuff kill cliff which is a drink that has cbd in it i just think it's uh it's a miracle anti-inflammatory elixir from nature i'm just i'm a huge believer in it it alleviates anxiety it's just good for so many people with arthritis and so many issues my friend dave foley his his hands were all fucked up man he had real bad arthritis and now they're they move freely and easily. News Radio Dave Foley. Yeah, News Radio Dave Foley has full use of his hands because of CBD. Because of the CBDs.

Yeah. He deserves full use of his hands. That dude's a genius. He does. He is. You saw him work. Yes. I have to tell you. Yes. That's something I usually say to people. Dave Foley's a genius and you gotta back it up. But I can just say it to you and you're like, bro, I told you. He was the

guy he's seriously opening a fucking beer with a knife look how butch you are oh my god that's so rambo bro it's for people to think i'm cheating it's a heineken zero alcohol and is that so sober october include i guess it includes it's not just weed sober everything it's not sex sober is it oh no that's not i thought you were going straight that's gross um wow that's and and not for charity not for king or country just for fucking well we started it off what happened was it started off four years ago with a weight loss challenge to my friend tom segura and my friend burt kreischer and i kind of hosted the weight loss challenge they they had had to see who could lose the most. That's Bert.

Who could lose the most over the course of a month. And the winner, I sent him to a basketball game. And Ari sent him to, what did Ari send him to? Some other? National Championship. Yeah, they went to some, you know, they had a good time. So that was one year. Then the next year, we all decided to join in.

During the whole weight loss challenge, Bert kept drinking. We're very concerned about Bert's health. And so we're like, man, Bert's going to fucking die if we don't get this motherfucker to stop drinking. Do you think he can stop drinking? And I said, all right, well, how about we all do it? We'll all go sober for the whole, well, I didn't even know that Sober October is like a thing. People have been doing it for years. Is that right? Long before us. You were like, we just invented a rhyme. And they're like, no. go sober for the whole well i didn't even know that sober october is like a thing people have been doing it for years long before us you were like we just invented a rhyme and they're like

it was just pure coincidence that we started with the first weight loss thing was october as well right uh was it i think it started close to the end of the thanksgiving time period or something like that what the way it was in like jan, I believe. Was it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, for whatever reason, we decided to do it during October. By dumb luck, there was a thing already called Sober October. We literally didn't even know when we started

doing it. So we did it and we incorporated a challenge. We had to do 15 hot yoga classes and everybody didn't believe that everyone was sober like ari said he was going to drug test me i think it happened too because ari was gone and we had to do that like another podcast to talk about the welch of the bet and that was probably like in september and then it was like oh well october is next month sober october and then that makes

sense yeah because ari was gone for like four months in in Asia. So we had sobriety for a month plus 15 90-minute hot yoga classes over the month. So you had to do basically a yoga class every other day. Right. Which was great. So we did that. And then last year, we said, okay, we'll do it again. But this year, we're going to do a fitness challenge. That got really crazy.

So that year, there was a competition a competition and that year we were working out five six seven hours a day i set off the fire alarm in my gym from my sweat literally from steam coming off my body set off the fire alarm is that possible it's possible i have a video is it seriously yes yes so you got your body heated up so much of the fire alarm my gym is my home gym is essentially a little smaller than this room and it has you know elliptical machine in the cage and squat rack and all that jazz and uh i set off the fucking fire alarm from steam because i did five six hours on the elliptical machine i watched this there was yeah look at that like you can that's it you can hear it listen to your oh my god look was yeah look at there like you can steam in this room that's it

you can hear it listen to your oh my god look at look at the fog yeah oh there's the alarm that puddle on the ground that's all my sweat are you kidding nope so we decided not all that do this well because i'm gonna win and did you i'm not gonna lose of course i won i'm not gonna lose we're going crazy we were going crazy and then we we all had to sit down this year and say we can't do this again because this year we only had to do 10 classes so with whether it's yoga or tom's doing boxing and it took some um we took some tactical gun courses, and Tom's also done some weightlifting. Ari's done some meditation classes. It's all just bettering yourself, and you have to read 500 pages of books, whatever book, 500 pages.

So that's the challenge this month. Easier. All of that is just not on my menu. Exhausting. Yeah, my God. easier all of that is is uh it's just not on my menu exhausting yeah my god it's just like october should be a fun month we're heading into halloween and stuff like that right fall sam hayne shit like that and it just seems like a lot of what is this would you say sam hayne sam a little bit of metal man a minute what's sam hayne sam hayne remember like sam hayne is the it's uh the end of summer, the festival of Sam Hains. I have no idea what that is.

I've never heard that before. They talk about it on Halloween. Pull up the clip. The movie Halloween? From John Carpenter's Halloween. Donald Pleasance tells a story about Sam Hain. That was the other name for Halloween. Really?

And there's a metal band called Sam Hain. Ha ha. Season of the dead. Really? And there's a metal band called Samhain. Ha ha. Season of the dead. But the notion of like getting all dry and shit is just, I mean, I get it.

You're not interested. Do you drink? No. And I never really did. I was never at a taste for it. I was obviously a sugar guy. Like that was definitely my vice. Well, since I've bet you, you you probably lost more than 100 pounds since way

back how much have you lost all depends from well my highest weight i ever was like at one point i was like i weigh my area code and i was 323 holy shit dude well i'm not done because i was like well let's round this motherfucker out and i went up to 330 really yeah which is nobody's area code that i know of so that was my highest then i saw what was it was it fed up the sugar documentary and took off like a bunch of weight because i stopped doing sugar then you know my weight yo-yoed for a bit then two it's coming in february it'll be two years that i had the heart attack i was shooting the showtime special in between shows i had the heart attack so then i started losing weight uh first i went on pen gillette's uh suggested diet with ray cronies just sides and it was like all potatoes

just eat potatoes for like two weeks and i was like this will be easy i love potatoes and after two fucking days you learn you ate potatoes. Like you love milk and salt and butter and shit that goes into mashed potatoes, but just eating a baked potato, like, and you could have as many as you want. They're like,

Oh my God, eat as many as you fucking want. And like, that's where I learned fasting because when your choice is like a fucking potato or nothing, you're like, you know what? I'd rather eat fucking air than eat a

potato and stuff and then you realize oh i'm okay like i didn't die and my body will start feeding off some stored fat so at that point when uh i had the heart attack my kid was like please go vegan because there was a nutritionist was in the room the morning after i had the heart attacks kid slept there all night just staring at me to make sure i didn't like fucking have a second heart attack and really that wasn't the big danger the big danger apparently was in order to get to my heart they punctured my groin that's how they get to your heart that's the easiest fastest route and stuff and so the whole night they're like yeah yeah well i mean they could either crack your chest but they don't like to

do that anymore right so it's not it's not as invasive to go through your femoral and so you go through the groin some people go through the wrist as well i met a cat who was like they went through my wrist i was like why did they go through my groin he's like probably wanted to see your dick so i sat there i i've uh i um after the morning after the kid was there and the nutritionist was like you should you know if you thought have you thought about plant-based that'll cut your cholesterol down or at least losing some meat and the kid was like yeah go vegan one of us and and you know she was definitely looking out for me but at the same time she's she knew that like i'd be a big get for the vegan community a community, oh, I flip this fucking motherfucker.

This meat-eating. I used to drink two gallons of milk a day. If I could flip him, that's a good get. So I tried it, and I was like, oh, I'll give it a shot. I lived the way I wanted to for many, many years. And obviously, that led me to almost dying. So how about I try what you're talking about for a few months, six months. And that was a year and a half over a year and a half ago.

So being vegan and also intermittent fasting, meaning essentially I don't do breakfast like yourself, has dropped me down another 70. So I'm 198 right now, which is like my high school weight. Wow. Yeah, that's kind of nuts more than a hundred over the the entire time that we've known each other yeah i've lost a human being i've delivered a child and it went somewhere it's dead i used to carry it like an embedded twin and shit

yeah a lean woman or a young you know or a lean man i mean how much you weigh all right well half of you that's crazy um that's a that's an awesome accomplishment man it was it wasn't i didn't try like you know again weight watchers are now they're called ww they were absolutely helpful but it was never about like i want to look better it was just my options were get healthier fucking die my old man had two heart attacks first one was a warning. Second one took him out. And as much as I could change my lifestyle, and I did,

I still got my mom and my dad's hearts. Are you exercising? They're big. They're defective. Yeah, I hike every day up Runyon except since we've been on the tour. That's been a little more difficult. Only hiking?

Yeah, all the way up and stuff. I haven't gotten into weights or anything the good thing about strength training is yes strength training um is uh is particularly important as you get older it maintains bone density maintains your muscle mass and uh there's a lot of correlations between people who exercise and maintain muscle and heart health and uh just just overall vitality of your body a stronger body right is more durable you know and you know it's not hard for you to hire somebody just hire a trainer that's true i think when i'm done with the tour like we're done in february yeah just hire somebody it's time and you And you can hire somebody. Losing the weight has been like that I never imagined I'd ever do. So I never imagined I'd have muscles.

Like I ain't never done a pull-up my entire fucking life. I remember in high school hanging on the bar and they're like, move on, Smitty, because I couldn't fucking get there. Be nice to do a pull-up before I leave this world. Yeah, for sure. Especially like what if I'm hanging off a cliff and I'm in danger of shit. It's 100% possible for you to do a pull-up. In this life. Yes. Not today. No, but in this life this life yeah and you're right it's like slow build

and i've also got like access to like hey i'll hire you yes it's not even like i gotta get my shit together and do it exactly it's good to go somewhere it's good to go somewhere instead of having someone come to you it's it's like a change of environment sort of it puts you in the mode like okay we're here to work but uh i recommend that to anyone who's getting well i just anyone period i think strength training is very very important you've actually sold me uh it don't take much i'm pretty gullible but you've actually sold me in as much as like i i trust you you're smart and what you said about bone density makes a lot of sense and And I'm only getting older and this shit's only getting more Halloween. Yeah. Weight-bearing exercises.

Carrying weight. And, you know, it doesn't have to kill you. It doesn't have to be something that's brutal and it breaks you down so you're exhausted the next day. You really want like a light workout. You really want a slow build. Find someone who understands the state of fitness that you're at right now right and gives you a nice slow build just like squats with very little weight a few deadlifts with very little weight just a little bit of this and a little bit of that a little bit of push-ups a little bit of setups and that's it you don't need to work out that long you can work out a half an hour you

know three days a week and you're fucking golden what make a giant change in your life sure well those are i like them odds three days a week oh yeah so you don't even have to do it every day no you don't want to do it every 30 minutes is it like a fucking doesn't even have to be that crazy no build your body up to that you got to realize you're a guy who's never really gotten after it your whole life so if you just shock your body into getting after it now it's probably going to revolt you don't want that you already tried that yeah you want the heart was like fuck you you want just some light weight-bearing exercise you know and build up over a few months man there's no rush

you know you're just trying to be healthy right you're not trying to fucking win mr olympia just start slow do like weights with a squat rack and like fucking 25 pounds on each side just three or four just three or four put it down you know what really irritates me about this is like as you imitated a guy doing squats you closed your eyes you went to a place you literally played a character you acted in front of me well it's just i'm thinking about just doing it i could do it if if i'd if i'd shot your thing here thing here, it might have made more sense. Make it so easy. Well, I do it all the time.

So it's me. It's like I understand that some people don't. It was adorable, though, as you closed your eyes. Well, I'm picturing you doing it. My eyes would be popping out of my head. No, you'd be fine because I don't want you to do anything that makes your eyes pop out of your head. But how do I get muscly then? It takes time, man, time. It's an investment. i don't want you to do anything that makes your eyes pop out of your head but if i was your trainer then you take it takes time man time it's an investment i don't know if i have that it's a slow changing like water hitting rocks right when you see like water

carving a pathway through rocks that shit takes forever it takes forever and that's the same thing with fitness you're not going to get giant muscles quick I mean you could be one of those fucking psychopaths That decides to completely change their life And completely dedicate themselves to fitness And all of a sudden you get jacked And you have all these muscles But that is going to have to be A massive commitment

And a life changing thing And for a guy who's had a heart attack I don't recommend that at all I recommend You just slowly start working out with weights Nothing even brutal. You know what a Turkish get-up is? No.

It's a great exercise. Is that a hand job? No, that's different. Full-body exercise. You have a kettlebell in your hand. You lie down on your back on the ground. You lift your arm up. You slowly get up to your feet.

We're standing up with proper technique, and then you let it down, and then you sit down again, and you lie back down on your back again it's a full body workout and it's not you know it's nothing that's going to kill you it's something that's just going to give you a little bit of strain to strengthen your connective tissues you don't have to do that many four or five like that's what i would say and that's done for the day no you do a couple other things do a couple other things but i'm not talking about you breaking your body down At all I'm talking about you slowly adding resistance training

This meathead mentality That you gotta go out and break your body down I think that's It's a terrible thing to do to someone who doesn't exercise Because they're gonna be in fucking severe pain And it's also I don't think it's productive I don't think it's necessary I think the way to do it is to lightly get into it Then once you start feeling it i feel a little bit better it's easier

to open up a jar of pickles everything's moving better you know and then you ramp it up a little bit hold on you fucking sold me on the pickle opener pickles are hard man to this day i never i hate pickles but you know it's tough to open up is like a jar of tomato sauce yes it's hard man many times i've turned to my wife and be like is it just me can you try this there's there's gotta be fitness in my fucking jeans somewhere man because my mom's dad was a boxer like growing up like a like a guy and he had a record he was kid dixie schultz um growing up like in my grandmother's house there's a picture of a guy like wow in that position with trunks but old-timey like and um i was like who's that and she's like that's grandpa

and he didn't look like grandpa so i never associated it but apparently he was a boxer well that would be a fun thing for you to do too not even box somebody but have someone to hit hold pads for you and you'll learn how to punch and hit pads because it's exciting it's fun to do it's like an interesting thing to do when you hit things like batman that's how you sell it does batman hit pads and he hits fucking you know injustice and crime right right shit like that um my boxer grandfather i want to see if you agree with this okay so you're the you've been the man in the ring, so to speak. You've been at the epicenter of attention of 1,000, 5,000, a bunch of people as a man on stage.

Even the man in the ring sometimes when you're doing a UFC event and stuff like that. You know what it's like, the surge, the energy that comes from like, I'm here and everybody's got i got their attention i command the fucking room it's part of why we do what we do my grandfather having been a boxer must have felt that right like fucking probably way more than i feel when i walk up on stage or we're on the reboot roadshow tour i'm like oh i feel clever sitting in the back watching the movie with the audience and hear him laugh this This is a guy who is like, I'm the man in the ring,

and it's all up to me and my fists, and I could be a god or a goat tonight. And then it becomes primal, and there's pounding and shit like that. You would imagine there's a, if you got in the ring, and he pursued it enough to have a record, there must have been some sort of call, some sort of satisfaction to it all. Maybe. Sometimes people do it for money, right?

Maybe it would have been a way to make a living. No? This guy, I don't. No, he, I mean. You don't think he did it? I think he was hoping for purses, but I don't think it was just like this or mailman. Although that's where the story's kind of going. Not mailman, but this was a guy who boxed professionally.

And the story was that my grandmother, like when they had their first kid, Miami, Virginia, my grandmother was was like you can't be a boxer anymore and so he was like all right and then he stopped being a boxer and then my grandfather became a custodian in the newark courthouse and every day he would like get dressed up in a suit and take the bus to the newark courthouse they lived in a different section of newark and then he'd put on his custodian outfit and like clean the toilet sweep the floors and stuff like that noble salt of the earth shit so my whole life I never questioned this you know your wife says you you quit and you quit and stuff like that

until I became older and I became something of the man in the ring myself. I know what it's like to stand at attention for everybody, where everybody, you are the focus of thousands, where you get a level of affection from one vociferous mass that is unparalleled from any amount of affection you can give from any other single human being in this world. I've never done heroin, but I imagine it's better than heroin. It's one of the greatest drugs. It fuels us and, you know, we obviously like it. We keep fucking doing it. We make money off it, yes, but there's many ways to make money.

And we like it and we do it because there's power to it and it feels fantastic. And you feel like, man, they like me. They really like me. And then I started thinking, why would he have put that all to the side? Like, how do you step outside all that just because your wife is like, I don't want you to do that anymore.

And then it made me reconsider my grandparents. And I figured out, and I want to see if you back me on this play. You don't know these cats, so you've got no skin in the game, so you can't offend anybody. Doesn't that sound like she did dirty shit that nobody else did? In the bed, you mean?

Yes. Son, where else but the bed? I didn't have that thought at all. No? My thought is that he recognized that it's very dangerous, and he probably knew people who died, and he probably wanted to find a way out of it anyway, which most fighters do. Most fighters, at some point in time, they realize,

I'm going to have to jump off this ride one day. I can't stay on this ride and tell them a dead man, tell them 90 years old or 100 years old. It's not feasible. It doesn't exist. There's no 98-year-old boxers out there. You think he faced his own mortality? Every boxer does.

Every fighter does. You hit someone and you see them get hurt. 98 year old boxers out there you think he faced his own mortality every boxer does every fighter does you you you hit someone and you see them get hurt well then he's probably been hurt you see people get hurt you see people get pummeled you see people get knocked out maybe you've been knocked out yourself and you realize that this is something that is unsustainable and if he's not making any money at it it's extremely dangerous and you start you know you start thinking what could happen to you you know what can happen to you it happens to people you see it happen if it hasn't happened to you you watch it happen to other people if you're around combat sports enough you're gonna see people get fucked up and when you see people get fucked up you realize like hey this is voluntary there's other ways to make a living i don't have to do this

anymore i can get off this ride or you're the type of person that doesn't give a fuck and you want to be a champion and your your thought is you are here for glory you are here for a legacy you're here to leave your mark you want to go down in history as a great and if you don't feel that way i tell people to get out i think fighting is one of the most singular pursuits a person can get into. Yeah, it's like you're giving, you're not only giving like the, I'm dedicating myself to something. You're giving your body. Something that like you're taught your entire life, protect this. It's also, the consequences are so grave.

The consequences, zigging and zagging you you go the wrong way you run into a knee wrong way you run into a head kick wrong way you run into a punch you know you you duck into an uppercut your fucking lights go out you're laying on your back they're gonna flashlight in your face and ice on the back of your neck and you you don't even know what day it is you don't know what and then that you never get back and you can only get so many of those your life You know, there's It depends on the person but you get knocked out three four five times whatever the number is There's a certain number that your life is going to be fucking different now because now your brain doesn't work good anymore That's a fact and maybe it'll get a little bit better over time. Maybe you can go through some cognitive therapy

There's some different things they're doing with magnets and different things they're doing with stem cells where they're shooting them straight into your cerebral spinal fluid. And they think that that might have some sort of a positive impact on CTE. But, man, the reality is combat sports are a fucking brutal, brutal business. So you think it's possible he just got to a place where he's probably smart like this is my perfect excuse to not because he wasn't making any money doing it either it sounds like i gotta tell you he gave me he gave him his dignity back i honestly was like he gave it all up because she gave up the ass she was like a dirty german girl who was just like i will let you do the animal you've got to get out of the ring and he was like she was like i'll give

you one ring for the other and he was like fuck god damn it gussy he called her gussy i think it was more likely love and family no yeah i knew these motherfuckers love kids he's got a kid right he they had they had a few uh that was their first kid man everybody loves their kids and you want to be around to see those kids grow up, and you don't want to be brain dead. And everybody – look, I personally know a lot of people that have combat sports-induced brain damage. There's no doubt about it. No ifs, ands, or buts. Some CTs, too. Yeah, that's why when I see anybody who's like half in, half out, I go fucking hard in the paint.

I tell them, you've got to get the fuck out of this now. You've got to trust me. And I've done it to the point where people think I'm mean and I'm like look I'm not mean about very many things in this life but when it comes to people who are delusional about their abilities in combat sports or their future in combat sports

I get fucking mean because I think you got to know you got to know with no uncertain terms I can't be protective of your feelings I have to go in hard because no one else is going to. People don't. They bullshit you. Coaches bullshit you. Trainers bullshit you. They tell you you got a chance. Promoters are willing to put you on fights when you really should retire. It is a dirty aspect of the business. And I don't play that shit. If I think that someone should get

out, I go hard and I tell them. And I've tell them and you know i've done it to friends i've done it to you know guys that i've done commentary for they've asked me and they pulled me aside and i said you got to get out man you got to get out because you could talk right now you're okay right now but how many more shots can you take how many more times can you get knocked out one ko can change your whole fucking life meldrickrick Taylor got knocked out by Julio Cesar Chavez, and Meldrick Taylor was an Olympic gold medalist, a fantastic boxer, was fast as fuck, lightning fast combinations, beautiful skill, but Julio Cesar Chavez just kept wearing on him and wearing on him, and boom, he dropped him in the final round, and they stopped the fight with like seconds to go in the fight.

Richard Steele stopped the fight. It was a big controversy, like, oh my God, how could he stop the fight? Meldrick was ahead on the scorecards, and, you know, there was only a couple seconds to go, and Meldrick would have won a decision. It was the right call because he was done after that fight, man. After that fight, he was never the same. You hear him talk today. It's the saddest shit in the world.

He can barely put together a sentence, and he had a few fights after that against Terry Norris, who was a brutal knockout puncher and a couple other guys he just was never the same again it was at one fight one fight one beating too much and it just it all fell apart on him and that can happen that can happen to any fighter and when you're done you're done and you you the only way you should ever compete as a fighter is if it is this is your fucking calling this is the thing that you're obsessed with it is your 100 focus and as soon as it's not as soon as you have doubts get out because there's a bunch of people out there that don't have doubts and i always try to tell people like think about mike tyson before he won the title think about

the mike tyson that destroyed marvis Frazier. Think about that motherfucker. That guy's all in. You don't ever want to face a guy who's all in when you're half-assing it. And a lot of people are half-assing it, and they don't even realize they're half-assing it. They just have this thing in their head, well, I'm training pretty hard. I'm doing good. I got good skills. I can beat this guy.

But when someone's in, they're in. this guy but when someone's in they're in and it's combat sports are uniquely dangerous in terms of the consequences of you not being committed so you got to know when to get out and no one does very few people there's like a few guys andre ward retired undefeated olympic gold medalist two division world champion he's the rarest of the rare most guys they keep going until they get fucked up they keep going until they get knocked out they get brutalized and then you meet them afterwards and they could barely talk man they could barely talk i've seen so many guys they could just barely string words together everything's a mumble all the words are slurring to the next word it's horrible man and i saw it in the gym i saw in the gym with guys who

never made it they still got brain damage the the fucking the the gods of combat sports they don't give a fuck if you win a title if you're eating shots you take punches to the head kicks to the head you're getting fucked up man no matter what seems like why how come they didn't talk about that for years and years they didn't. They did know that people get punched drunk, but they didn't know what was causing it. It's not even knockouts. It's subconcussive trauma that does the vast majority of the damage. They have a lot in the world of hockey as well. Yeah.

Subconcussive trauma is terrible, but knockouts are also horrific. And then for me, my discussions with guys like Dr. Mark Gordon, who's an expert in traumatic brain injuries, and he works with a lot of soldiers, and he runs his TBI Foundation to deal with injuries that soldiers and football players and fighters face. And his descriptions of it will scare the fucking shit out of you. I mean, he's like, people can get brain damage from fucking jet skiing. Just all that bouncing up and down can get you fucking brain damage. So not even getting a jet ski accident just like just jet skiing and if you jet ski accidents exacerbated but he's talking about like people some people get in accidents uh some sort of a something happens to you we get knocked

out and they are never the same again this is a real thing you can get a shot to the head a golf ball somebody misses they crack you in the head with a golf ball, right? You get hit with a line drive. That kind of shit changes people forever, forever. So your grandfather probably wanted out. First, all right, some thoughts. Number one, Sober October gives you a different Joe Rogan. Yeah.

Oh, my God. You're so dialed in it's beautiful um i could you're the ken burns of of combat sports i can listen to you spin yarns tell tales um you know what that's unfair the ken burns i call you the gene shepherd of i don't know who that is but i hope he's awesome you love gene shepard remember christmas story yeah he's the guy that narrates christmas story he wrote the books the essays that it's all based on um my other thoughts um that is far more dignity than i ever afforded my grandfather i appreciate it my mom is gonna appreciate that um and then fourth, I lost my point. I thought I hit enough of them. To me, it hits home because I needed to know when I needed to retire too.

When I stopped fighting, I knew. I was like, I am not doing this the way I used to do this. I used to be completely obsessed, but I saw a bunch of people get knocked out. I knocked a bunch of people out. I knew that that easily could have been me. What does it feel like to knock somebody out? It's weird. It's a bittersweet feeling.

Like, you don't feel good. You know, it feels. If you were in a true combat position, it would feel good, no? Well, fighting for your life, you mean? Yeah. Competition. I mean, it was all people my age, you know? Like, I was 19, 20 years old, and I'm standing over this unconscious version of me, you know, that I just kicked in the head.

And that's how the person went out. Yeah, the amount of force you can generate with a kick is just so terrifying. It's so terrifying, you know, to think that that's going to bounce off your head and the lights go out. And then you could incur legitimate permanent brain damage from something like that absolutely in the initial kick or in the hit the drop of the canvas both this is the kick someone kicks you in the head someone who really knows how to kick they bounce a fucking shin off your temple you might not ever be the same again that's real you've been knocked out i've never been knocked out i've been been stopped, which means I got TKO'd.

I got dropped with a punch. And then the guy followed up with a bunch of punches and the referee stopped the fight. That was the last fight I ever had. But I was never unconscious. Hold on. There's a lot of details. Slow it down. Yeah.

I was in a kickboxing fight. Actually, it was three fights in a day. I won the first two. I won the first one by knockout. I beat the fuck out of the second guy. And I was pretty sick, actually, going into the fuck out of the second guy And I was pretty sick actually Going into the fight Going into the tournament

I would get sick sometimes Because I would be nervous and shit My nutrition was terrible And then the third fight I got hit with a left hook I won the first round And then the second round I got hit with a left hook

And my legs just went boink They just stopped working And I remember going What the fuck? Shit I've never been dropped like that before and my legs just went boink they just stopped working i remember going what the fuck shit like i've never been dropped like that before where my legs just he was a perfect left hook he just caught me right on the chin so what if he catches you on the chin what is the what's happening that it's it hit it's like it connects something happens it twists your brain right and your brain like it also does something that's like nerves behind your jaw and when you get hit hard and it just it's like an electrical charge goes

into your body and everything just shuts off it's weird like i was totally conscious but my legs just stopped working and then while that happening while that's happening more punches are coming no because it was kickboxing wasn't mma and mma the guy would jump on you and they'd stop it right there. Or you would maybe grab a hold of him and maybe you would survive, maybe you wouldn't. There's arguments that it's safer in MMA because they stop it quicker. There's also arguments that when it goes to the ground, you could actually survive better and you could hold on. And maybe that would allow you to take more damage and maybe that's not as safe. I'm in the former camp.

I think it's safer. Okay. Because I think when fights get stopped quicker, it's safer. So when you got jolted and electricity went through, did you go down? Yeah, I went down. My legs just stopped working like this. Like I'm standing up. He hit me, and my legs go, poink.

So you went down, ass under your ass? Yeah. I went down, and I got up before the count of 10. Referee, dust your gloves off. And the kid swarmed at me again and hit me with a bunch more punches. And I covered up and the referee stopped the fight. So that was a TKO, which is tactical knockout. But I had already known that I was kind of – I was already doing stand-up comedy at that time as well.

And I had known that I was half in, half out. And then I had to give – So wait, when is this? 1989. So this is even before – this is before news radio. Oh, yeah, way before. Yeah, this was – I was just starting to do stand-up. Or be funny?

No. Well, I knew somewhere around the time I was 19 that there was no future in this. And I was trying to make the Olympic team, which was the Nationals were in Miami in 1988. Wait, where are you from? Boston. That's where I was out of. So I was a Massachusetts state champion. And then I would go to these national tournaments and compete against the Illinois champion or the New Hampshire champion.

I got to ask a question on behalf of somebody else. Hold on. You got a question stored? Yeah, yeah, because I was talking to – not a hundred percent. Okay. Your grandmother? Yes. Named Josie?

Yes. Gerard grandmother? Yes. Named Josie? Yes. Gerard Way? Yes. Lead singer of My Chemical Romance? Yes. Yeah, we're related. That's what he said. I was like, I'm going to do Joe Rogan.

He goes, I don't have 100% confirmation on this, but I'm pretty sure Joe Rogan is my cousin. Yeah, we're cousins. I think my Aunt Josie was his grandmother. Yeah, I don't know him, but we're cousins. How crazy that two people in the same family became super fucking famous and don't even yeah we don't know each other that's not you gotta have money he's fascinating he's good yeah great guest yeah um that and plus like yeah you're related yeah we're related anyway back to the story um so you know i just i didn't know what i was going to do for a living. And then, um, there's a, a few things happened, you know, a few, uh, watching a friend of

mine get knocked out really bad. There was a guy named Jersey Long, who was this bad-ass Canadian guy who knocked my friend Larry out. He hit him in the head with an ax kick and just changed. Larry was never the same again. He was always like real tentative and nervous, destroyed his confidence. And, you know, we also. We weren't making any money. These are all amateur fights.

There was this thing like, what am I doing? Why is this my whole life? Why were you doing it? It changed who I was from the time I was 15 to the time I was 21, almost 22. When I started fighting, when I started doing competitions, it gave me a focus. It gave me something where I didn't feel like I was 21 almost 22 when I started fighting when I started doing competitions it gave me a focus and it gave me something where I didn't feel like I was a loser right like for the first time in my life it was something that I didn't I realized that if I focused on this thing and I dedicated to myself myself to this thing I could be successful and that changed how I view

the opposite of a loser yes winner in most cases where Where I wasn't before that. I was a loser. I just didn't have anything going. I wasn't good at school. It was your football. Like for some people in high school, it's like, I found football. I found something. Or it was your Jesus. Some people are like, I found Jesus.

Yes, yes. I think that's what people need, man. They need a something, whether it's chess or Jesus or filmmaking, whatever the fuck it is. You find a thing and you focus it and you see some success and you're like, oh my God. I can keep this going. I can do something. I can do something. I can be somebody.

I can do something that's fulfilling and rewarding and I know that I'm not a loser. Because a lot of it is like confidence, right? A lot of it is if you look at your life and you look at things that other people are doing, you go, God, I can't do that. He's doing that. These people can do that. They're different than me. I don't have confidence. It takes doing something and having some success at it that gives you confidence to do other things. And martial arts were so terrifying to me. I was so scared of it that it became by overcoming that and becoming successful at it, it gave me this understanding that you can do, you can basically do, you know, within reason, whatever you want. If you just focus on it and you're not going to do it, it's not going to be immediate.

You're not going to be successful immediately and you're going to fail. But through those failures, you learn and you go back and you get some experience and you do it better next time. And that is everything. Failure is just success training yeah and it's like this fucking tattoo this is miyamoto musashi from the book of five rings and in that book he said something i read it when i was like 17 years old once you understand the way broadly you will see it in everything and that that is that is if anything that is one of the main focuses of my life, that I think that- One more time, say it.

Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in everything. That describes you. You're a seeker. My favorite proverb is, may you realize your own divinity in this lifetime. I saw it on a yoga wall hanging that my wife put on the house once and it was just it wasn't really the message she intended she just liked i think the image of buddha and uh one day i was letting the dogs out and i was waiting by the door so you had time to like really stare at it and i was probably just stoned enough and then completely understood it where i was like oh yeah. Yeah. It is a blessing. May you realize your divinity in this life, your own divinity.

Meaning don't wait until you drop dead to find out you were God all along. Handing it off to somebody else and some higher power, higher powers than you. Motherfucker became a fighter. Made him feel worth something. Motherfucker became a filmmaker. Made him feel worth something. Manifested. He's absolutely right. A fighter made him feel worth something. A motherfucker became a filmmaker, made him feel worth something, manifested. He's absolutely right.

You can kind of do anything. You can kind of do anything. You can't fly without a jet pack. Right. You can't beat LeBron James one-on-one. Yes. And Mike Tyson back when he was committed, as you say. Yeah, there's things you can't do physically. But there's a lot of things you can do, a lot of things you can get better at and especially artistic pursuits because the thing about artistic pursuits is you kind of

everybody finds their own way and so the shift to me from doing something that was competition especially concert competition with grave physical consequences yeah to go from that to doing stand up when i first started doing stand-up i I realized, okay, this could be it. Like the fucking fighting thing, it's a dead end. There's no money. This is before the UFC. There was no money in kickboxing. I remember I'd gotten offered a kickboxing fight, a professional fight for $500.

And I was like, what is that? $500? It means I have to train for six weeks? No alcohol, eat good, run, do all these different things, train, spar. It's not even October. And then $500 at the end of it. Not worth it. And then maybe brain damage.

It's like when you see what porn stars get paid for anal and you're like, what? Like you would imagine like, don't they pay you a million dollars to do that? And they're like, oh, no. $500 to $1 to 1500 sounds about right yeah it's not a good deal so wait do you realize then that you went from like you just 180'd it you went from pain to pleasure your business was pain well and then your business became pleasure to make motherfuckers laugh no yeah your job as a fighter is to hurt the other person right but you give pleasure to the people that watch.

Yeah, but the fight's going to happen with or without the audience, correct? Whereas in comedy, it don't happen with or without you. Yes, but there's always an audience. The only time there wasn't an audience, we did have fights where people from other gyms or other dojos would come, Dojang because it was Korean. They would come and we would fight them. Right. Dojang because it was Korean they would come and we would fight them right and there was no I mean full contact fights

and there was no no referees there was no you're so bitch you're so bitch bro it's a funny word you're so fucking butch it's so like

I read about fucking like you know superheroes pounding on each other and you've literally hit people and been hit you know what it feels like

to take a punch I've never been hit in my life this is not also me throwing that out into the universe looking for it please don't fucking hit me I'll cry and you've literally hit people and been hit. You know what it feels like to take a punch. I've never been hit in my life. This is not also me throwing that out into the universe looking for it. Please don't fucking hit me. I'll cry. You don't want to get hit. I will offer to suck your dick before the punch is thrown. Desperate to make you stop.

That might be worse than hitting you. Yeah, no kidding. I get bad blowjobs. But I've never been hit. All the stories I read about like Green Arrow punches, or all the stories I've written where a fucking daredevil punches a motherfucker. Yeah. You've actually done the punching

and received the fucking punch. Yeah. It's pretty metal. A lot of kicks. It's butch, dude. That's butch. Yeah, because my earliest martial art was Taekwondo, which is mostly kicking based.

But yeah, I did a lot of that too. The kickboxing was a big turnaround too because kickboxing happened at the end of my Taekwondo career when I was realizing that Taekwondo was really limited. And it was also the beginning of me doing comedy. It was all happening kind of at the same time. Right. And I just was really, really, really, really fortunate that I wanted to do stand-up comedy, and I happened to be in boston which at the time was one of the hubs one of the most creative environments in the history of comedy oh my god i mean all the people

you hang out with you well there was a lot of guys that you'll never hear about because they were genius but they stayed in boston but bill burr was uh he was a little bit after me like like a year or two after me and there's Patrice O'Neill who's also in like Bill Burr's group and Nick DiPaolo and uh there was uh fucking god damn I mean there's so many guys that came out of that area um uh you could just go on and on and on about the the local headliners but the environment Stephen Wright came out of there and he was in Boston yeah he's from from that area and that there was guys you never heard of that were fucking oh lenny clark of course but there's guys like you know don gavin and steve sweeney to this day i think

one of the best some of the best comedians i've ever seen in my life and they were just local headliners who were just masters they just were just just destroyers and we got a chance to see those guys as when we were greg fitzsimm, who's another good buddy of mine who came out of that group. We got to see those guys when we were amateurs. And we got to see these guys where they were just destroying in a way that you didn't even think was possible. And we got a unique opportunity as amateurs to be in this incredible environment where there are so many comedy clubs there was three comedy clubs on one air in one area on um on warranted street there was one where's next comedy stop and then there was down the street there was the comedy connection

and above it there was a comedy club at the charles playhouse and then across the street there was duck soup so there was four comedy clubs within places to practice a half a block i mean it was crazy it was just it was a boom of comedy then there were stitches and there was duck soup so there was four comedy clubs within places to practice a half a block i mean it was crazy it was just it was a boom of comedy then there were stitches and there was just so many so many outside bars and stuff that had stand-up too when did you realize you were funny it took 10 years but when did well enough to be like i'm gonna try stand-up yeah i could get laughs funny as a fighter no i was funny to my friends in like in the locker room or like when we were on a bus like traveling to a tournament everybody'd be nervous and i'd be the guy and made everybody laugh like gallows humor i'd be doing impressions of each

other like that i i had comedy for psychos that's how i thought of it and my friend steve graham who i'm very good friends with to this day he um actually talked me into doing stand-up he was one of the ones like you should be a comedian and i'm like look i'm making you guys laugh because you're fucking crazy i'm like and other people are gonna think i'm an asshole like this is not like things that people think are funny it never occurred to you you thought you were like living room funny yeah i thought it was well funny because i know these guys mean it was mean funny because you know fighting is a mean sport right you know it's mean you have to be mean if you want to be successful you know and there's so some of my comedy was mean and then um i didn't know about amateurs

i didn't understand and then i went to an open mic night one of the things about going to an open mic night is you get to see the professionals who are like the hosts and occasionally professional drop in and do a set but you also get to see these amateurs who are terrible and you go oh i get it so everybody sucks at first and then you know you could just go up with the people who suck and you suck too and it was like okay it was a huge relief because i thought of stand-up oh my god it's like richard pryor or jerry seinfeld those are comics get up and be a legend i can't do that so i'd like probably i was faking that like i was trying 21 i went on to a comedy stage not you know once when i was before i even made cler once when I was, before I even made Clerks, when I was probably about 20, Rascals had an open mic night.

West Orange? No, the one in Eatontown, right between the Monmouth Mall and the Seaview Square Mall. Oh, okay. And so I went up and I did like five minutes, and the only bit that worked was a bit about sucking my own dick and i put that in clerks years later i was like oh i remember they laughed at that bit i'll throw it in but i remember trying it and i never told my friends this would be 1990 it was before i even

saw slacker and that was when i knew i wanted to make clerks so probably 1990 or 91 pre-August. But it was like, I remember being like, well, I tried it, but I'll never do that again. And now I literally make my living being on stage fucking talking. Crazy. It was nuts. And that's why I'm like, that's why I had my head around my grandfather like, how the fuck do you walk away from that? Like, don't you feel great when you're up there and you're fucking killing and stuff like that? I know it's like money, of course, is always a part of it.

It's nice to get what I would consider overpaid to do the same shit I would fucking do anyway. Like, I would be trying to be funny regardless and shit. But don't you get the, like, charge out of it? It's definitely great to kill. It's horrific to bomb. and they're counterbalanced whereas as amazing as it feels to kill it feels equally horrific or maybe even more so to bomb it'll haunt you and then the thing about doing well is you don't think about it while it's happening because while it's happening i'm

thinking about my performance i'm thinking about making sure that i'm in the zone with these bits the landing yes i'm i'm not thinking everybody loves me i'm thinking okay um this bit this here's the peak here's the valley here's where i bring it up and here's where i hammer it home and here comes the pause and then there's the punch and i'm i'm doing i'm going and i'm also in the moment where i have to be when i'm doing a bit if i'm doing a bit on a clock or something like that i have to be thinking about a fucking clock i'm not just saying those words i i am thinking 100 about what i'm saying because if i don't it doesn't work as good. There's no way. You can't just say the words.

It's a form of hypnosis. It's like a mass hypnosis. And these people know, those fucking animals out there in that crowd, they smell weakness. They smell distraction. They smell when you're disconnected. They feel you like in the way the avatar people do. You know, there's a fucking – Thank you for using a movie reference so I could understand.

There's a thing that's happening that's undefined because the only people that really understand it are the people who are real comics who have been doing it a long time, who know how to kill. And there's this thing that happens when everything is tight and everything's in place that is you're a ride and you're a passenger on the ride you're not you're not driving it you are in a sense that you have to do the work and you have to do the writing and you have to perform two shows tonight and i fucking hammer it out all the time tonight yeah where are you going ice house no comedy store i was at the comedy store sunday and I did an arena Saturday night in Cleveland, and I did two shows at the Fox Theater Friday. You got to go, baby.

You got to go, go, go, go, go. Comedy is like running. It's like anything else. You got to be in shape. Yes, and you hate it. You got to do it all the time. You don't enjoy it. You don't soak up the praise.

That's what I'm saying. So when is the moment where you're like, ah. But it's not that, because you can't think about that. Because if you think about that, it's time that takes away from the actual thing the actual thing deserves a hundred percent of your attention and the actual thing you feel that in the moment but when do you fucking feel it like when you're like good night and everybody explodes even then i let it go i just go get it get out of here then i start thinking about other shit because that's how i go that's how that's what makes me go that what makes me go is the thing i can't i'm always concentrating on the thing like how do i get the thing better you don't

make it work all right so i concentrate on the thing but like then i fucking celebrate that like holy shit i stuck the landing why do that with my friends right after the show like we we have a great show like me and santino uh saturday night we had this fucking wild show at this arena in cleveland it was awesome after it was over we high five we get something to eat and that's it then then you let it go you gotta let it go because that my thinking is i'm not you're talking i'm on literally on the road every night and it's like even though like it's a different show every night and it's different wonderful audience like i'm still thinking about the two shows we had the music

box in the chicago theater i'm like oh my god it was religious of all the screenings i've ever had in my life like those two will stick out i think it's different too because you're playing a movie that you did you're putting out a piece and you get to sit down and watch people enjoy the piece and you get to get this, like, big rush. Like, ah, look at that. Then I got to go up and then do the fucking. Yeah, but the Q&A is also. Hey, what about them donuts thing? But the Q&A is also organic.

You know, you're just being yourself. You're having a good time. You're definitely being yourself, but it's organic as you want it to be. Like, basically, somebody asks you a question, and you're like, here's a long answer. Maybe it had nothing to do with that question. Right. like right here's a long answer maybe had nothing to do with that question right but even then it's like that it's not like you're doing a like a bit you know like where you have to begin your set thank you very much chicago great to be here here's the thing about chicago do you have memorized bits

oh yeah there's bits but they don't i was always blown away by carlin like one day we were rehearsing on dogma and george carlin was you know, we had a smoke break. It was the 90s, so everybody smoked cigarettes and shit. And I was like, what are you working on now, George, when you're not doing this? And everybody was in rehearsal. Matt, Ben, Linda, Salma, Chris Rock, the whole fucking cast, me, Jay. And George was like, oh, I'm working on this bit for the new HBO show. He goes, it's called Advertising Lullaby. And I said, what do you mean working on it? And he goes, well, I'm memorizing

it. And I was like, you memorize your bits? And he goes, yeah, I write everything. I was like, you write your bits? I always just thought you kind of came up with shit off the top of your head. He goes, what are you, nuts? He's like, I write everything. And then I have to memorize everything like a script. And then we were like, can you do it? And he's like, yeah, you want to say it? And so he did a command performance for the eight of us in the room of Advertising Lullaby, and it was pitch perfect. I saw the HBO show months later, and it was pitch perfect. So I couldn't believe that that dude was as committed to the written word

as he was, but he fancied himself a writer first and foremost. He was a guy that didn't even want to do comedy though like he really backed into it he was he wanted to be danny k he wanted to act and stuff like that and he was just happened to be funny first he did the radio dj thing and then the hippie weatherman burns and alan was prior to that and stuff but he kind of backed into comedy and was excellent at it yeah but was not like it was not like this is what i've always wanted to do since i was a kid just kind of he always seemed to accept the fact that he was like oh i'm this is it i'm a genius at this all right well he did it differently um he would do

i mean he was probably the most prolific big name guy of all time and he he actually inspired louis ck to do a new hour every year because that's what he did. Carlin, yeah. George did a new hour every year. And part of the reason why he did that is – He was on stage 275 nights a year. That's crazy. But part of the reason why is he owed a lot of money.

He did. A big-time debt. Yeah. I don't know how that happened, but he fucked up. In his book, Last Words, he talks about, like, he bought a jet. And sometimes he would – He bought a jet? In the 70s, he was that fucking huge, he bought a jet.

And he would sit on the runway in Long Island at fucking LaGuardia. Yeah. And just do coke in the fucking plane. His book, Last Words, is amazing. Wow. They published it posthumously, but he was working on it with Tony Hendra before he died. He was so awesome, man. I think about him all the time.

Anytime I jump on stage, because every night after a reboot, we get up on stage and work the crowd and stuff. I got a chance to say hello to him once. That was it. Yeah? Yeah. I met him at the comedy store. He was very friendly. Said hi to everybody.

Said hi to the door guys. Hey, how are you? Said hi to me. Hey, hey, hey. George Conlon, how are you? He didn't know who the fuck I was. He had no idea. friendly said hi to everybody said hi to the door guys said hi to me he didn't know who the fuck I was he had no idea just said hi

I said hey man how you doing and that's it that was our thing I have a I mean I worked with him a few times in the movies and stuff

he one of my favorite fucking memories of George Garland is we go see him do a show me and Chris Rock it was me and my wife

Jen and Chris was married to his wife malak at that point and george was playing at caesar's in atlantic city and so he's like i got seats for you guys up front and stuff so you know rock was like had his role with the new he was like fucking at the height of his game and shit and so we go see the show and carlin had a bit where he uh it was like people i could do without like guys named skip shit like that and one of them was uh people i could do without uh uh any man over the age of 12 who wears their baseball cap backwards so you know long before i met him i'd always hear

that gig at that bit and be like uh so the night we're at the show he's up there doing a bit and uh and you know he's like uh another person i could do without kevin you're exempt from this guys over the age of 12 who wear their baseball cap backwards and rock like my eyes lit up and rocks next to me and rock goes he knows who you are. Even though we'd worked together on the movie. It was so fucking awesome. That made you exempt, though. For the show. For the bit. Because I was there.

That's very nice. I think we got along because he wanted to act. And I was always like, come act. Come play. And like he, he like, in Jane Silent Bob Strike Back, he plays a hitchhiker that like blows people for rides. And the day, he was such a committed actor. The day we shot, we had him for a few hours and then he had to rush off to go be on a stage and be Carlin.

So he made a little window of time for us. And he came to me on set and he goes, Kevin, you're the writer director of this i have a question for you i was like okay and he goes uh you know this uh it says that i'm fucking with these dudes i talked to him about the rules of the road am i fucking with these idiots or do i believe in the rules of the road and i was like well i can't believe you're giving it this much fucking thought george i said but like i the way i wrote it i assumed the guy believed in the rules of the road

and he goes that's what I thought I was that's exactly what I fucking thought he was so like committed to performance man like uh he was an absolute joy to be around and he was never on he's like you like fucking not like hey man how about them donuts he doesn't feel the needs to make you laugh I love Tracy Morgan to death don't get me wrong but like you gotta save six hours for facial you know rehabilitation yes because you're just laughing so hard you're laughing and your face is in that rictus grin the entire fucking time you ever made john witherspoon is he the same way oh my god i did a show with john witherspoon and his son jd and my fucking face hurt after it was over. It was like cramped up. That's Morgan.

Like my cheeks were hurting. George was not that guy. He can just sit there and have a conversation with him. Like he was just interesting. Do you know Miss Pat? Miss Pat, do you know who she is? She's another one. She'll make your fucking face hurt.

Really? Oh, my God. She's so funny. Her stories are so crazy. Did you listen to comedy albums back when you were a kid? Oh, yeah. What were your jams? Sam Kinison was my boy.

That's why I got the long coat for Silent Bob. Trench coat, yes. From Sam Kinison. Well, I was introduced to comedy through my parents having Cheech and Chong albums. Ah! Cheech and Chong. We have Chommy Chong is in Jay and Silent Bob reboot. And then Bill Cosby.

My dad gave me Bill Cosby albums. And my mom would always be like, you can't listen to George Carlin, but you can listen to Bill Cosby because he's clean. Isn't that funny? In retrospect, how crazy is that? I mean, how crazy is that? He had a stellar reputation. Oh, my God. But, you know, when I was on news radio, I had heard that he drugged women.

Did you really? Yes. Yes. That was the scuttlebutt at NBC? Yes. Yes. The scuttlebutt. And I might have heard it from Candy Alexander, who was always on top of shit.

She always had her fucking thumb to the pulse. But, yeah, I'd heard. I'm going wide-eyed because these are like rock star names. Yeah, I'd heard. I'd heard. Yeah. And I was like, what? And they were like, hey, drugs women. Never mind him.

Kandi Alexander. That's a rock star name. She's amazing. I love her. I love that lady to death. That lady quit news radio because she wasn't getting a big enough part. I remember. Yeah, she was like, you know what?

I don't need to do this. Fuck it. And she went off and wound up being on one of the CSIs or something like that. Yeah, was it CSI? She was on a bunch of shit shit she's been in a million different things she's amazing she's a powerful woman every time i'm here we talk about it but like it was such an incredible assembly did you see the 2020 that they did on phil hartman no they did like a couple weeks ago like a whole hour 20 minutes on phil hartman and stuff i wouldn't watch it i when you didn't pop up in it i was like that's very joe rogan to not be involved in this

i can't well i don't even know if they asked i don't remember um the other thing i wanted to ask you was the the fucking moving fast moving lights that the Air Force was like, kept your video on. Oh. What were your thoughts? Well, did you hear that? The moment I saw the video, I was like. The podcast with Commander David Fravor that I had?

No. Okay. That's who you got to watch that podcast, because he's the guy that was there. He was in the plane? Yes, he was the commander. He was the guy who was in the fucking plane, who observed the thing he said whatever it was it went from 60 000 feet to 50 feet in a matter of

seconds you see me lighting up like a child because this is the shit remember in search of when we were kids oh yeah leonard nemo yes where they made you fucking believe when we were children we believed in sasquatch we believe in loch ness monster we believe in aliens and then the internet got rid of shit the difference between this is what is this this whatever this object was believe it or don't believe it think that's something is off about it it was actively blocking and jamming radar and it moved at a preposterous speed it it went i don't remember how many miles they say like 30 miles inside of a second some insane amount of speed it traveled they were trying to track this thing they couldn't i mean it was it was moving no emissions no emissions no emissions no method

of propulsion that made any sense drone technology they don't know what the fuck it was but they had seen several of them and the people around that area in san diego off the coast of mexico the the air force people had seen several of them fuck this is thrilling yeah this guy i remember seeing this in the day this was in the news and i was like why is this not like the front page fucking news story new york times wrote a big piece they. But you need to watch the podcast with Commander David Fravor. That's the one. David Fravor was the guy who was in the vehicle. He saw it with his own eyes.

He observed it with the tracking equipment in the plane, and he looked at it with his own eyes. What's your takeaway? He said it looked like a tic-tac. That guy is not full of shit, and he is a high-level military guy. He doesn't have a long history of this. He's not seeking attention. It was very difficult to get him to do this in the first place jeremy corbell who made that documentary bob lazar and area 51 flying saucers um that that was a humbling experience listening to him talk about it because you could tell he's not full of shit he's telling

you about a real experience he had that is impossible to describe and the fact that this thing was actively jamming radar people could say it's a this or it's a that or it's an anomaly a blip what do they say what do they say jamming what do people say skeptics want to think that oh they moved it to 2x zoom and that's why it looks like it took off quick no they couldn't track it they couldn't stay on it it was moving too fast it didn't make any sense it took off at a preposterous rate of speed. And more importantly, it was actively jamming radar. It was using equipment to jam their radar.

On purpose. Yes. It was doing it. So not just like, it couldn't be like perhaps. No, no, no. Whatever it created, whatever its energy signature was created a radar block. It was doing something to jam the radar. It knew that they were trying to track it

didn't want to be found exactly it was like fuck off what do you think off with your nonsense i think it's from another planet that's what i think that's what i keep talking boy it's either from another dimension or it's from another planet wait what it's more likely that it's from another planet and i think hold on what do you mean another dimension well we don't have any idea i mean how many dimensions are there we know what we can see and feel. Here's the thing. When you see an ant, right, and an ant's moving around the ground, and you hold a cell phone over that ant, does it have any idea what the fuck that is? No, it doesn't.

This is why I make the trip out here. It doesn't. It doesn't have any idea because it's outside of its realm of understanding. And it's entirely possible that if something lives a million years longer than human beings have existed and it continues to innovate and continues to create new technology they can make technology that is indistinguishable from sorcery if you think about the way bob lazar explained it when he was working at area 51 it's like if you took a nuclear reactor of today and showed it to some people from the victorian era they would think that it was. And this is exactly how we were approaching these recovered crafts. Because they were trying to back-engineer,

according to Bob Lazar, whether you believe him or not, they were trying to back-engineer these crafts. And they were saying that these crafts were operating on something called Element 115, which we didn't even know was a real thing. I mean, they had speculated that it existed, but he was talking about this in the late 80s and the 90s. Well, they didn't even absolutely prove that element 113 or 115 was real until I think it was 2013.

So he's talking about something that the Air Force or the Navy or whoever the fuck was operating Area 51 and S4, where he was, that they had this knowledge and understanding of this element that they had somehow or another made stable that could bend gravity, could change gravity. So instead of being a propulsion system where you have a fire that comes out of the back of a thing and it forces the thing forward, this thing just pushed gravity in front of it and it shot through insane

amounts of space and time with incredible speed that didn't even make any sense and they didn't understand how they made it they couldn't back engineer it pushing gravity would that's you have to listen to him describe it i'm butchchering it. A lighting. That would push it up, but then it also gives its propulsion as well. I'm butchering it for sure. But the way he was describing it, there was something about this element 115 that you utilized when it was inside of the spaceship. It utilized gravity in some sort of an impossible-to-understand way that they still have not figured out how to do it. And he saw it in action.

Yeah, he saw it in action. He saw it in action, and he was a propulsion expert from Los Alamos. And he had worked on propulsion systems during his own free time, and he had worked on some nuclear projects at los alamos that was in the middle of concocting some top secret military shit and he's clearly a brilliant guy you know but so many people try to discredit him and maybe they're right and maybe i don't know i believe a lot of what he's saying if they are aliens do you want to be here when they make contact well i think they're making contact whether we like it or not that's what i think i think they're looking and watching

whether we like it or not they're observing and i think if you were an intelligent being from another planet you would want to make sure that the territorial monkeys don't blow each other up and that's what we are we're like this adolescent stage of evolution where we still have all of our primal territorial jungle instincts. But yet we also have this insane ability to harness the atom. We also have this ability to send videos through space. I mean, we can catch them on your phone and play it back and forth. We hold energy in these little rectangular devices that we hold in our pocket. We charge them.

And we're charging them with fucking nuclear power. Nuclear power plants are charging our phones. And then the phones go into our pockets. And we're like real close. We're real close to a lot of this crazy technological innovation. And it keeps getting more and more spectacular with every passing generation. And they're probably watching they're probably watching and waiting and trying to figure out what the fuck we're doing and if you believe what they told bob lazar that they were responsible for an accelerated evolution

wait wait wait wait come on too much information one of the things they were saying who's they when he was working for what is he working for the air force was it the air force that lazar was working for whatever whatever is he working for, the Air Force? Was it the Air Force that Lazar was working for? Whatever the government body that was operating Area S4. They gave him a bunch of breakdowns on a lot of things they do and where they think they got these crafts from and where the crafts are. One of them was from an archaeological dig, he said. But they gave him an explanation of what these aliens are here for and what they're doing and one of the things that they said and he said i have no method of verifying

whether or not this is true or not but that they had accelerated the evolution of primitive primates so they had taken primitive primates and they had done something to them to change them from a primitive being to what we have now in homo sapiens and they did it very quickly if you really look at evolution the difference between australia pithicus and homo sapien it's only a few hundred thousand years which is insane if you if you think of how much more advanced we are than those lower hominids. And there's no other animal that's experienced that kind of a leap. The human brain doubled in brain size over a period of 2 million years. We have no idea how.

We have no idea what happened. It's all speculation, whether it's eating meat, controlling fire, using tools, hunting, increased access to protein, changing from herbivores to omnivores to carnivores, all these different theories. The throwing arm, that's another theory, that humans figured out a way to use an arm to throw and hit things, and that accelerated our problem-solving skills. There's a lot of theories. We don't know.

Terence McKenna had a theory called the stoned ape theory. He believed that human beings were experimenting with psilocybin mushrooms and that psilocybin mushrooms accelerated our evolution. Who knows? We don't know. But one of the things that they were telling Lazar when he was working at S4 back engineering these crafts were that human beings were the product of accelerated evolution and that these space beings and that there was more than one there was more than one civilization that was involved in this these space beings had had some sort of a hand in this running experiment that is the evolution of man so then you know whether or not that's true or not who the fuck knows totally so everyone's

like we might be in a simulation we're not but at the same time we might be in a simulation. We're not. But at the same time, we could be somebody's simulation. We could be a simulation too. I mean, Elon believes we're in a simulation. Yeah. And, you know, I had a philosopher on that was trying to explain to me the likelihood of a simulation. And his – what was his name again? How do you say it? Nick Bostrom.

Nick Bostrom. His perception was that if you look at the laws of probability, it's more likely that we are in a simulation than we're not. And that was really hard for my stupid brain to accept. That if you look at the amount of planets that there are, if you look at the Fermi paradox, like where are these planets? If you look at the insane number of stars just in our galaxy alone, and then the insane number of galaxies in the universe, what are the odds that a life form hasn't gotten to the point where it can create a simulation that's indistinguishable from reality? Well, the odds are very small so if the odds are more likely that something has created a simulation that's indiscernible from reality the odds are very likely that we're in it right now um if we're in a simulation like we're in a pretty good version of it you and i are kicking ass yeah we're doing great in the video game exactly well as well thumbs up like not bad like considering it like

in the simulation we were allowed to climb from a place to another place yeah we're making progress we're having fun i mean we're not just playing fucking pitfall no actually we're sims right think about what you were saying about loving being on stage and that great feeling of having all these people that have been entertained by your art you know and and be able to sit there and watch what you create. Being able to sit there and watch your movie and you be able to sit there and watch all these people laugh at your work. That's crazy.

That's a crazy, great thing. And so much better than your grandfather who was a janitor, you know, think about that. That is so much less rewarding. Your life is infinitely more rewarding and more fortunate. Wait, was he in the simulation as well then? I'm sure. Maybe that's a, I don't know, man. Or in the simulation, is it just like, give him some backstory, so I didn't really have a grandfather?

It's all speculation. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows that it changes every day? I mean, when you wake up, you assume that these fucking weird, cloudy memories of the past were all realistic you know we don't know we don't even know if you ever have really gone to sleep we just know you have this memory of every night going to sleep we don't really know what do you mean was why you're awake right now how the fuck do you know that what you've experienced in your past all of it wasn't just

simulated like and if it is simulated wouldn't sleep be simulated as well wouldn't all of it wasn't just simulated. And if it is simulated, wouldn't sleep be simulated as well? Wouldn't all of it be simulated? If you are just in this state, this state of perpetual simulation where everything is existing all at once, but your mind puts it in this context of the day-to-day grind. Get up in the morning. I got to hustle. I got to go out there and go out. Get after it. Maybe that's all nonsense.

Maybe you're all in this eternal neurological concoction, some thing that's forcing your brain to interact with these ideas and memories as if they're real. It's unfair that I'm the only one stoned. This is stoner talk. This is good fucking talk. I've been stoned for so many years. I'm probably permanently stoned in some way. Even in sober October.

Yeah, something. Probably take me months to completely dry out. If I took a test, I'd probably... You didn't answer my question. Do you want to be here for the aliens? Yes, for yeah what if they're hostile oh we are hostile so you think we could take them nope no i mean are the chimps gonna take over the earth no fucking vaporize gun those chimps down and so wait would we gun down the alien invader i don't think so they'd probably be able to control us and our minds yeah but control just control everything they're probably

impossible to even it's like isolate it could probably just take off and be gone like you pointed a gun at them they probably just disappear and be on the other side of the earth in a matter of seconds i mean we're talking about technology that's indistinguishable from magic right now you sound like thor man that's what they said in thor did they yeah like thor and they were like you know science and magic what's the difference well it is well that is something that they've always said i'm not saying anything unique that's one of the things they've said about a certain level of technology. Like when you achieve a certain level of technology.

I think it's a famous quote. Asimov, right? But it has nothing to do with Thor. It has something to do with scientists. That a certain level of technology is indistinguishable from magic. Yeah, I think that's an Asimov quote or Asimov. I don't even know. Yeah, someone like that.

But if you hit a certain level of technology that's beyond your comprehension right i mean look man if you could just go to the 1800s with an iphone you'd be a fucking sorcerer right true here's what's the r3c clock there we go any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic clark's first law there is that's it wrote 2001 yes um was that it he wrote that right didn't he write well kubrick made the movie he made the movie but i think did he write it clark wrote it um but then again i was like as i'm off yep 2001 space i got one what a great fucking movie that was um the screen pic what do you think happens then all, so if we're in a simulation and we die, then we just cease to exist as a program. If we're not in a simulation, if we're organic, little meat puppets and stuff, what's your take on the afterlife?

Does it just end? I think any speculation about that, any speculation is just that. It's just speculation. You could just jerk yourself off all day trying to figure out what happens when that's kind of the idea so you know richard dawkins i had him in here last week and he was like i think the lights go out and that's it do you think the lights go out it's almost like challenging him like i don't know i don't think you know either it's not romantic enough you know what i'm saying but at the same time it might just be me being arrogant going like, no, no, I can't just, the lights can't just go out. I did so much work.

No one knows. You have not experienced it. So even his reductionist view of it is pure speculation. He just decided to make it simple and logical. I got close. When I had my heart attack, the doctor said, you got to have a widow maker. He goes, that means in 80 of the cases of 100 occlusion the patient always dies uh he's like but you're gonna be the 20

because i'm good at my job and that's when he disappeared into my crotch punched a hole made it made magic so wow dr mark laden i'm gonna have a heart attack find this guy um i went to get a physical for jane son bob reboot before you go make a movie if you're the director they they make you and if you're the actors too, they make you get a physical and make sure you're not going to die during production. So I saw this doctor, Dr. Paula, who like I've seen for years whenever I make a movie, she's the movie physical doctor. And when I came in, she's like, oh, my God, you know how lucky you are. And I was like, I know everyone's been telling me I'm lucky. And she's like, no, no, no. Let me tell you a story.

She's like, me, two other heart surgeons, working on a heart patient in a hospital in the emergency room. Suddenly, heart attack. And I was like, guy had another heart attack? She goes, no, the other doctor. Drops to the floor, has a massive heart attack. Widowmaker, like yours. And I was like, well, I guess if you're going to have a heart attack,

have one in the hospital surrounded by doctors, man. They couldn't save him. I said, did you save him? She goes, that's the point. We couldn't save him. Holy shit. We had all the equipment. We had all the expertise.

And all of us were trained. But with the Widowmaker, it's not like, if I'm good at my job, I can save this motherfucker. It's not even 50-50. There's just like, there's no logic to it. It'll just go. I got a piece so bad, I can't continue this conversation talk to jamie for one minute part of part of the pride in in doing rogan's show like is not having to pee yeah i almost had to earlier but did you really you're holding it for me yeah i'm all good um i while i got a

chance the weed ladies and gentlemen. Which camera's mine? I can share that with you. Fucking A. I'm not in Sober October. You're not taking part? Definitely not. You're going to smoke some of this, son.

It's called Snoogins. It's called Berserker. This is the hybrid. Let's do Sativa since I still have 14. Sativa? Oh, my God. You're going to love it, man. It's going to fucking give you the wake up.

Awesome. And there's a little comic strip inside each one, like a Bazooka Joe. Awesome. That came from a man, Micah Caviar. This is definitely, you can find it at Herbarium. You can find it in a bunch of weed legal states. Snoogins, Snoochie Boochies, and Berserker. Also, more importantly, Jane, Silent Bob, Reboot.

I'm going to use this opportunity while he's taking a piss, because I just get lost. I'll let him roam, and I'm supposed to be selling shit, but I'm like, tell me about the aliens, Joe. This is why I come here to be entertained one-on-one. Um, but Jay and Silent Bob reboot man is, uh, if you want to go see me, the movie with me and Jay, we're traveling for the next 55 weeks, uh, 55 dates, sorry, not weeks with the movie, uh, up until February. You watch it with us. We do Q&A. It's a good time, man.

Rebootroadshow.com, that's the address for tickets and stuff. It's also opening in all the areas that we've went. So we went to Jersey, Chicago, Detroit, Grand Rapids last week, and then it opened in Chicago, New Jersey, yeah, and in Illinois, New Jersey, and Michigan in theaters. So this week, November 1st, it's opening on a bunch of screens following the places that we've actually went to. So let me see. Opening November 1st, Let me see. Opening November 1st, Minneapolis at AMC Arbor Lakes,

Houston at the AMC Willowbrook and the AMC Golf Point 30, in Columbus, Ohio at the Gateway Film Center, in Des Moines at the Century W, Des Moines-Jordan Creek, in St. Louis at the AMC West Isle of San Antonio, at the Regal Cielo Vista. So every place we go with the movie, me and Jay, then the movie opens up in our wake. So if you don't want to see it with us at

RebootRoadshow.com, you can go to Fandango.com, just enter Jay and Bob Reboot and see if it's playing near you. It's a good time. It's a heartwarming film. Every night for me going to watch this movie is like being in church where I'm the priest and also the person they're celebrating have you made a deal with uh itunes or amazon saban films has

the movie domestically and they've got an output deal with somebody i think amazon and then uh universal has the movie abroad we're opening in the uk uh november 29th or something like that i'm going over there at thanksgiving yeah fucking smoking no i got some man use all you um to tour there as well for a week in england so um so it's got homes and stuff but we the reason we go out on tour was because you know like you i got an audience man i can count on the audience and i live off that audience like normally me and jay are just out there i'm doing q a or stand up or whatever so like going out with the movie like the budget of the movie was like we you know we shot it in new orleans so it's like

10 million but get money back so it's like eight million we needed eight million bucks so we got some money from saban for the domestic rights we We got some money from Universal for the overseas rights. But then there was equity financing we had to pull together, like a missing two, three million bucks to make up the budget and stuff. And that's where you get money from real people. People are like, I'm going to invest in a movie and hope I get my money back or if not make it and stuff. And those people always get fucked in this business, never make their money back ever. But the tour tour like i was able to assure those people i'm like within one year of the date we start the movie you're gonna

get your money back um because i knew i could take the movie out on tour and as long as i was willing to live with it we can get all that equity financing back so one year from the date of my heart attack we started shooting jay and silent bob reboot as a big fuck you to the heart attack one year from the date we started shooting jay and silent bob reboot i'm gonna be able to pay off my equity investors that's fucking unheard of in this business but i only get to do that because the audience that we built up because the audience will come out and support us and and like i was told a long time ago like if you work for the audience you'll never work a day in your life and it's absolutely fucking true i I've had and had a boss. And then I meet the bosses every night at the show.

And they're beautiful. Like, they're fantastic. They are my boss. They give me money, just like a boss gives you money and shit. And they'll let you know if you're fucking up. You know the audience will fucking tell you. Your boss will let you know. But it's this tour with this movie, like, we banged out a tiny record.

Because we don't have marketing money it's one thing to get money to make the movie then it usually costs double what you spent to make the movie to market the movie to tell people it's coming to put it up on screens and shit so we were lucky enough to get the eight million to make the movie we weren't going to get fucking 15 to market the movie that's crazy and that's generally what happens so we just had to be smarter about it and since i tore anyway with the podcast i'm like oh let's use this fucking model and expand it so we hit a little record with our opening weeks we did uh the opening day of the tour was in new jersey at asbury park at the paramount and we did like 93 000 on one screen so we got that like a the record that week for like a limited

opening or something like that and you know it know, it, and every headline was like, you know, Jane, Bob reboot beat Avengers end game in this one record. And, you know, it's, it's one of those things you send your mom and you're like,

just read the headline. Don't read the rest of the article and feel like really smart business wise and stuff. And so me and Jordan Monsanto is Jason's wife. She's the kind of the brains of our operation. We, we thought like we could count on the audience. We'll take the movie out on tour and stuff like that.

And it's really been working out, and it's nice that some business people are being like, hey, good job. People are going like, oh, they figured out their niche, and we've been doing this for years. We did it with Red State years ago. Remember, we toured that as well. So it's great. Most filmmakers wouldn't bother because they're like i'm just gonna put in a bunch of theaters and shit and let the studio pay for it and i don't have a studio so i gotta take my movie to the people and four wallet but i'll be honest with you like i started

as an indie filmmaker so that's in my blood and there's something insanely gratifying about sitting there with the audience i never had that early in my career they just put the movie on a bunch of screens you'd hear number wise how you did being in the room and it seems like you just you miss out on all the stress of all the other aspects of movie making the worst the thing i used to hate the most man is you spend your time trying to make a movie you dream like i want to see it up on the silver screen you have these movie dreams and shit and then you have to make it a reality if you're lucky you get to make the movie a reality if you're lucky it gets a release if you're lucky you spend opening weekend not celebrating like we fucking did it we we did a thing that not everybody ever fucking does and right who are we we're chimps and we

figured it out but instead we'd spend every fucking waking moment of opening weekend going how much to make who's going are people going like isn't it's not making enough fuck we got to drive more business and suddenly the joy of what you were seeking is fucking gone because you're mired in the business and if you're the if you're lucky if you're the avengers you get a month at the box office that's about it before everyone moves on to something else i if you're a kevin smith movie you don't even get a weekend you get a day if you're fucking lucky and so suddenly all that dreaming took me five years to make this movie and living through a fucking heart attack comes down to one day at the box office fuck that man like tilt the table in your favor so i said i'm gonna take myself out of that box office race and instead do this like what i'm losing in in well i don't have

marketing and stuff but what i'm losing in a mass release of the movie i make up for it by being able to accompany the movie myself and that makes it a premium event it eventizes it it's an idea that i stole from eddie izzard i remember when i fell in love with eddie izzard stuff i was like eddie izzard's literally just doing fucking stand-up in a big theater with a costume on like he's just doing stand-up that you would do with the fucking improv and stuff but like he eventized it. He turned it into something. It's a one-man show as opposed to like he's doing 90 minutes of stand-up. So for us, we were like, let's take the movie out on the road and eventize it. If you're next to the movie, people are like, oh, shit, the director's there.

If I bring Jay, they're like, oh, shit, Jay and Silent Bob are there as well. So it's been like a blast. But you just have to be willing to put the time in. And some people are like, yeah, you could do this. But I'm like, yeah, we could do it because we've been doing it for like a quarter man 25 years since clerks happened and from day one i've been engaged with the audience long before it was like fashionable or profitable just because why else wouldn't i want to like in the early beginnings i was like my friend ming chen the guy from comic book men he built a website and i was

like can you put up like a thing where i could do Q and a all the time with the video? Is that possible? He goes, no. Cause it was like 1990s, 95. And he goes, but I can put up a message board. And it was like a whiteboard, like Reddit. He's like, people could put up as long before Reddit existed. People could put up messages and then you could look at him anytime you want three in the morning, you can respond to him. And I realized I'm never going to fucking be alone again in this life man i'll always be able to reach out to somebody who's like hey man i saw your movie i got a question for you and boom there's a connection and shit like that so since 95 i've been in it like online with the audience like and i remember when i started it was me and peter jackson were the only two filmmakers on the web. And then Peter Jackson got smart and was like,

if I'm on the web, I ain't winning Oscars. And he went off and had a great career. I'm still on the fucking web. Cause I love connecting with the people that, that you're trying to reach. Like, you know,

I don't do it in a vacuum going like, like good filmmakers like David Fincher, they make a thing and they put a movie out there and they don't fucking go follow it. They let the movie speak for itself. I'm the other guy who's like when the movie's done i run out i'm like hold on let me tell you the story of how it all fucking happened and shit but people love it it's it's it's a different vibe it's a different vibe and it works incredibly well for us so the tour every night last week was like fucking sold out and it just felt like amazing and as the tour unrolled unrolls

we were going to fly from place to place and then i was like let's just fucking drive let's do it punk style so we've been driving around it's yeah we got a little suv and we've been trucking around and it's fucking glorious man i'm 49 you don't get this at 49 this is the shit you're supposed to do in your 20s but like post heart attack now i'm like well like post heart attack i didn't go crazy where i'm like give me all the pussy in the world and shit like nothing really changed for me but i didn't become very cognizant of like you know my wife hates when i say it but i'm like i'm living on borrowed time i know for a fact my old man fucking died after the second heart attack

we're all living on borrowed time act accordingly i'm just acutely aware of it because i was so fucking close to the moment so it's not so much like i'm having a midlife crisis not by any stretch of the imagination but like anything that allows you to feel like young vital makes you feel like oh yeah this is why i started shit like this or it's fun like we're making a living and i'm it's crazy like we're on the road all the time and i've been saying all week like this is the best vacation i've had in years even though we're working sometimes three times three shows in a day because it never feels like work i'm just driving around my whole job is to like go to a theater and fucking show the movie to people and stuff it's really fucking dope that's awesome man i'm happy for you thank you

you always are man i am i am always um how was the piss it was great i needed it i know you always get there as long as i could i was starting to get weird pains that's like you don't want dick troubles not at our age i couldn't concentrate you want you want good steady flow yeah what i'm walking away from this session with you is um that that i i no bullshit i think when i'm done with the tour i'm gonna start working out yeah but not like you know get your pelvis big and shit like that. Yeah, don't go crazy. Just some muscle. I think I need to do, let me see, I'm 49.

I turned 50 in August. I got to be able to do a fucking pull-up before I'm 50. Yes, you can do that. That's totally achievable. Strength training. Where were you in high school? I could have used that kind of like, you can do that, Kev. Instead, everyone's like, fucking fatty, get off the bar and shit.

Well, some people have a different approach. They were, I could have used that kind of like, you can do that, Kev. Instead, everyone's like, fucking fatty, get off the bar and shit. Well, some people have a different approach. They were. I know. You've got that Zen Yoda, Yoda Rogan approach. I do now. Where's your show tonight? Comedy store. Two shows.

You got, you know what you're going to do? Yeah. You working on it? Do you do the same show both times? No. No, I have some new stuff that I have to work in. So I'll try to figure out how to do it. These shows in town it's a lot of fucking around what percentage will repeat depends like you do have a killer bit where you're like i'm gonna open with this and then i'll try

the new stuff you always try to open with something that's proven that works but sometimes not sometimes there's a thought that gets in my head like right before i go up i'm like let's see what this works so wait a second because how many stores a gym basically to work out yeah i mean you get paid but really it's a gym you're probably at a part a point in your career now where you don't even have to like come up with shit to do on like late nights because you don't even have to do when was the last time you did like a late night thing yeah i don't do those too often i was gonna say like you've got your own fucking audience those people fucking love you dude you figured you cracked the code you like you you built a thing and you were like i'm gonna build my own thing you're like the coen brothers of this bitch coen brothers like we're like we're

gonna do our own thing and it's fucking weird and it doesn't work like your thing at all but we're gonna stand over here and we're gonna keep doing it and slowly the whole industry gravitated toward them they stood outside of it and then everybody started doing their sensibility their sense of humor their type of casting you're the same fucking thing you you built and i watched it in fucking real time you built a thing and you were content to be like i'm happy with this like i don't need to fucking chase this or that i'm building a thing and now you're you've been rewarded by being at a place where you don't have to like go anywhere to promote whatever it is you want to do you literally do it fucking here feeding your own machine think

about it instead of jumping on some tonight show or something like that and giving them ratings you feed your own beast by being like oh i'm gonna be here come see the show you know it's really crazy i don't even do that what do you mean i don't talk about my gigs i just do it through social media you never uh you never on this very rarely bill marr does it at the end of every episode he's always like hey man i'm going to a gig tonight he doesn't have social media i don't think he does he does, he's not on it very strongly. I just post stuff up on Instagram. That's what I do too, man. But I would assume with this, it's like you could just – Yeah, I mean I talk about it casually.

Like I'm in Houston and then – no, Dallas on November 15th and Houston on the 16th. There you go. I just did it. I didn't want to force you into it, man. Listen, man, I love what you do. I love the fact that you're living in this vibe. You've got this thing that you're doing where you make your films, you promote your films, you go on tour with them.

And I like that you switch it up too. Like Red Stay is one of my favorite movies, man. I fucking love that movie because it was so crazy. It's weird. And I didn't have any idea what to expect when I sat down to see that. But I love that you've got that sort of artistic freedom. You do what seems like a thing to do. You know, it's masturbatory, I guess, on some level.

It's creative is what it is. As long as people enjoy watching me masturbate, I'm all right with that. I think people like watching you beat off. You know, tip my jar. Yeah. You know, I'm a cam cam kid thank you brother thank you for having me kevin smith ladies and gentlemen goodbye