The Joe Rogan Experience - #1404 - Bryan Callen

Episode Date: December 21, 2019

Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian, and together with Brendan Schaub he also hosts “The Fighter & The Kid” podcast on Spotify. His stand up special “Complicated Apes” is now available to download on various platforms.

Brian Callen had his first taste of turmeric coffee. That's right. Do you know there's an R in turmeric? Yes. A lot of people don't. I've been eating turmeric since, well, the 70s, back when I was living in India. I would have bet my life there was no R until about four months ago. Turmeric?

I didn't think there was an R. Turmeric. I thought it was turmeric. Yeah. I thought it was T-U-M-E-R-I-C or whatever. No, the Indians have been using it forever. Oh, yeah, they have. But I'm just saying, I didn't know how to spell it.

That's why as a kid, I had no inflammation in my body. You just ate turmeric all the time. Did your pee smell weird? I was the turmeric kid. What else makes your pee smell weird besides asparagus? I think sometimes coffee. Look, I'm 52. My body is betraying me, which is why I'm having my Laird Hamilton super coffee right now.

That's good stuff, right? Look at him. His body's not betraying him. Yeah, but what happens is when your body is, when I feel like I'm in wet cement when I wake up, now, for the first time in my life, my feet, I got to warm them up before I get out of bed, all that bullshit. Now, O'Brien's going to a doc. I'm going to tell you this right now on Joe Rogan. I'm going to get jacked. I'm going to get, if right now on Joe Rogan. I'm going to get jacked.

I told you. If I look a little veinier and my skin looks a little more flushed, don't ask questions. Just know that I got a good doctor. You got to get on the TRT, Brian. I can't wait. I can't wait. It should have gone a long time ago. Why didn't you listen to me?

I don't know. Because I want to think that my body, my testosterone is a little higher than everybody else's. It was an ego thing. But now, you know what? We're all mortal. Yes. Like little things. Well, I have wear and tear for sure from all the years of beating up my body, like joints

and stuff like that. Like I just had to get some stem cells shot into my knee. I've had some shot into my shoulder, stuff like that. Yeah. But in terms of like energy and like vitality and health, I feel fucking great. Yes. Here's what I do. Here's my, here's my, I can see can see it you got a real you got a oh you're waiting i'm 52 i feel fucking great i'm in the sauna almost every day i have a sauna here really got a sauna at my house you and i are gonna sauna

let's do it let's do it all right dude it's so good for you man it means something something's happening for sure after i get out of there i'm just like a little looser it's a it's a percentage i don't know what percentage it is it's is it 10 is it is it more but there's a feeling that you get after you do a good sauna session where everything is just like feels yeah but you know a lot of this also has to do with arriving at a point in your life where you're happy with this what you've've done, the decisions you've made. So I sleep for me, eight hours of sleep, seven and a half hours.

And then I, if, as long as I don't eat for 12 hours. So if I eat, if I finished eating at eight and I'll start eating at eight again or 10, that for me, 12 to 14 hours, I guess it's intermittent fasting.

Those two things. I haven't had a cold in, I don't know, 15 months. You're so trendy. I know. Pavel told me. Told me?

Told me. Pavel Tatsulin. Yeah. Who's amazing. The kettlebell monster. Love that guy. Fucking such an honor to have him in here. I'm a big fan of that guy.

He told me he eats once a day. Really? Big giant meal. At dinner, that's it. At dinner? Yep. So how does he stay? He's just hard yeah like nails

yeah but i think i get i get fucking skinny shakes your hand like this oh like it looks you in the eye shakes your head i'm like bro are we fighting yeah what's happening here this is a fucking heavy duty handshake just a resting alpha he's an animal he's an animal and his his methods are so uh you know like contrary to how you would normally think about like weight lifting in particular like going to failure all the time but yet also makes sense yeah like he's saying do it more often have longer breaks like it's about strength like strength is the most important thing strength his company's called strength first for that reason really Really? Yeah. He's like, you want to do, like, if you can do something for 10 repetitions, you want to do about five, and then you want to wait between five and 10 minutes before you do

it again. He's right. It makes sense. If you just do, most of us do not have that kind of fucking time. And for sure, you can get in tremendous shape with a CrossFit workout or a high, what is it? Hit high intensity. Yeah. where you're doing box jumps. I prefer that.

You can certainly get – look, there's some people out there that are in phenomenal shape working out like that. Yeah. But what makes sense about what he's saying is just like the amount of time required for your body to recover. If you give yourself your body's ability to recover in between sets you let everything sort of come back to baseline before you jack it up again like another set right like your body has more time to recover and you can perform more work and so your body adapts better right the idea is that you're overwhelming your body when you're going to failure you're just beating the shit out you're also getting injured it'd be interesting to see how many of his guys get injured.

It's not fair, so fair, but my impression of every CrossFit athlete that I know is always like this. Watch. Now, I'm getting back into it. I just got to pull that. Something's always- That's jiu-jitsu too, man. Yes, same thing. I'm a big proponent of that as well. As you get older, I can't get injured.

Yes. I'm doing, I don't know if you know this, but I'm a thespian. I'm on a show called School. I'm an ABC, guys and you jump around a lot you're very physical i'm very fit by the way a dancer by the way do you want to talk about physical on the show we had uh bill goldberg on and you know bill i love that dude the best i i love him now he walks around at a very trim he's my age 50 oh 260 when he was wrestling

he was 280 and you don't what you don't realize is he played professional football for I think it was 4 or 7 years so he's the real deal

and just a real athlete so also a very nice guy the best I love him he did a hosted a show called what was it called

Garage Mahal and they redid my garage and turned it into like a like a whole training center He did a host at a show called, what was it called? Garage Mahal. Yeah. And they redid my garage and turned it into like a whole training center. Like with a cage. That's awesome. They put a cage and hung heavy bags. That's awesome. And put pictures of like old UFC fights on the wall.

It's fucking amazing. He's a guy who brings it 100% like every time, whether it's acting and so. And by the way, he comes in and I'm like, your neck looks so thick. He goes, first thing I work out. First thing. He's one of those guys like Chuck Liddell when you're close to him, he breathes differently. Like, you know, when you went with a race car, like he's like, what's going on? He's got a Shelby GT500.

I'm like, how much did you sleep? He's like, I don't sleep. I've been, I've been wired. And anyway, so we had this thing where I was playing a quarterback. Look at the fucking size of that guy. Oh, it's ridiculous. That's what he looks like right now. That's what he looks like right now.

And insisted. He's so big. He had a stunt double. The stunt double didn't do anything. He did all the stunts himself to the point where he had to rush at me in a touch football game. I'm the quarterback. And he had to hit two dudes. Bro, look at that picture. I mean, I smoked a little weed before this podcast.

I'm not going to lie to people. But that picture is kind of freaking me out. He's got a great body. He's so big. He's so massive. But here's the thing about him, man. It's really interesting. The profession of professional wrestling is unbelievably brutal in your body.

And all those guys, I don't think, get respected enough for how hard that job is to do. They're doing it hundreds of nights. They get hurt. 200 plus nights a year. And they're throwing each other around and they get smashed. But what I was going to say is he has come out of it better than most yes for sure because he's never stopped working out and he never stopped stretching so we'll be on set that guy's stretching he says length of strength he's he's always moving his body and you know it's

like kurt angle told me on set of warrior he told me that he got injured way more he's a gold medalist in the olympics as a wrestler got injured way more. He's a gold medalist in the Olympics as a wrestler. Got injured way more doing professional wrestling. Oh, for sure. And Bill told me the same thing. But he had to come at me, and he said, look, I'm going to knock these two guys down, and I'm coming for your head. I'm going to dive and come at you.

So you have to duck. This is unschooled? Yes. Oh, no. Oh, my God. So you have to duck. But I had never seen, I'd never been that close to a former pro football player. These are stuntmen, strong guys.

But it's a different thing. He would just come off that line and his speed, and he would hit these two dudes with his, he'd go like that. And the thud, it sounded like maybe when two two elephants hit like just you know that that that yeah and they would go they they went flying backwards horizontal and then he comes and dives and would come for my head and i i we kept having to do the takeover because i'm a coward and i would i would you know i look like a potato bug you know where you i do anyway i feel like goldberg is a guy who could do the same kind of movies that the rock does i do anyway i feel like goldberg is a guy who could do the same kind of

movies that the rock does i do too i feel like he could be a gigantic movie star i think he's a good actor that's the other thing i think he's really good on the show look at him he's a gigantic dude i think he could be a big movie star i think he could do any kind of those action movies i know he's done a bunch yep but i mean i think he could be a huge mega star he's got all the personality so really nice guy 100 smart funny yeah he's smart he's with it yeah i could talk to the guy he's right there and very humble for a fucking ridiculously huge giant person just such but such a weird athlete his hands his fingers like i i was like how do you dial a cell phone your fingers are

too fucking thick you're hitting two numbers jimmy pedro um he was working for fuji at the time and they installed oh no he was working for zebra excuse me at the time and uh then he works for fuji now then jimmy pedro is a gold medalist the olympics for judo and jimmy pedro set everything up and he he put the um they put these mats down on like a raised platform so it had like a little bounce to it like if you if you fell you got slammed or something like that and so they tested it out and so by testing it out jimmy pedro who probably weighs 175 maybe let me see you know lean thin very strong guys throwing around goldberg oh he was yeah i mean goldberg was letting him.

He was executing throws on him. And Goldberg will throw himself. But you see Pedro's technique is such that it's so good that he can do this. Oh, shit. Like, look how easy. That's my garage, son. So watch how he does this. I mean, this is also Jimmy Pedro way after he's done competing.

He teaches now. But look at that. Boom, son. Look at that technique! Jesus Christ. Those hip tosses. Fucking perfect. Just perfect technique. Look how much bigger Goldberg is than him. But he can throw him around, and now he's showing Goldberg how to do it.

Yeah. Goldberg knows all this shit already. You ever see him kick and punch? Yeah, man. I have. I've seen him work out. He's fucking legit as fuck. Very much so. That's an uneducated statement. He's fucking legit as fuck. No, out. He's fucking legit as fuck. Very much so. That's an uneducated statement. He's fucking legit as fuck. Oh, look at this. No, I said it's fucking legit as fuck.

I added an extra fuck and it ruined the whole sentence. It's all about harmony. Yeah, but he's, like I said, he's with it. It's there. He's also remarkably uninjured for someone who did what he did for so long. He knows a lot about exercise physiology i know he's got some bumps i know he's got some shit going on but he still looks like him you know i mean a lot of these guys are fucked up man where the back injuries have forced them to

be like like very tight and rigid and they can't move so good anymore yeah that's where diamond dallas page has done an amazing job is like getting these guys into yoga and getting these guys specifically into his style of yoga which is like a lot of dynamic tension stuff too

he's helped so many of those guys get over like serious back injuries he has? yes cause Dallas' back was fucked up man

I mean all those years of getting body slammed all those years of picking up giant guys all that shit his back was fucked up and he still has a fucked up back but he does yoga every day and his back is so strong that it keeps everything in place so all those yoga techniques with the with the what's really done better than anything for these wrestlers is stabilize their back like through

through like a dynamic range right you know You're doing standing bow. You're leaning forward and doing that T thing when you stand on one leg. All that kind of shit is tremendous for your spine and your cord. And so that protects a lot of guys with back injuries.

That's him right there? Yes. Look at that. Bro, he's in his 60s. He did that without even warming up out here in the garage. I could never do that. He just picks up his foot and stands up like that.

Bam. I think Dallas is like 66 or something like that. He's in tremendous shape. He's a great guy, too. That's crazy. Super infectious personality. He's so friendly and happy. And he does so much for other people that are sick and injured.

He's got a bunch of videos of these guys, like that guy right there, who was so fucked up that he was walking walking with crutches he could barely get along and by the end of it dallas had him running he had him doing yoga look at there he's standing on his head like he made the guy lost a shitload of weight you gotta do you keeping flexible is more important than anything else i think dallas helps these guys he even had a he had a separate house right where he was keeping like Jake the Snake and a couple of these guys

and he had a separate house for them like he was like helping rehabilitate them and bring them back to health the other thing about getting older is you get sore faster

I had to have a it's such a stupid thing I had to have a wrestling match with my jeans don't ask I had to get it I couldn't get them off

in the show. Why didn't you get stretchy jeans? No, but it was part of the comedy. Oh, that you couldn't move good in your jeans? Yeah. So they give you extra tight jeans? I don't want to give away the episode of school. You know what I'm saying?

You're going to have to wait. Can you see your hug? You can see. Can you see your hug in your pants? I tie it to my leg. I wear it in a holster, as you know, because he's unruly. And he's always wanting to get in a feed bucket, if you know what I mean. That wasn't part of the joke, though, wasn't it, your hog?

No, but I had to do that like 50 takes. And, well, I was sore the next day. Oh, yeah, for sure. I was sore the next day. Did you have mats? From comedy. I was sore from physical comedy yesterday. That's some serious physical comedy and that that is a point that i've i've heard before and i don't know if

this is true but many people have told me and this is like this long-standing thing that you know chevy chase is kind of known as a grumpy guy yeah they said that chevy chase did so many pratt falls that he's in pain all the time. That's interesting. Just stop and think about all the times you saw Chevy Chase fall down in movies and in TV shows. And one of the things that happens, obviously, to older athletes that play football or combat sports or boxing is getting beat up like that, getting slammed around like that. They get bad backs.

They get headaches. They get a little bit of PTSD. You still feel good. You're always in pain. Yeah. Especially athletes get the PTSD. But what you're seeing with him, it very well could be that that guy hurt his body real bad doing pratfalls. Buster Keaton, who was like the very first ever stunt man who did crazy shit man have you

ever watched like some old buster keaton films the stunts that that guy did back when they couldn't fake anything yeah like nuts but it was always getting beat up his body was fucked up man yeah let's hear chevy chase falling down bro i got news for you this is all legit and he fell a lot man constantly he was like almost like a tom green type character but also yeah yeah but also a brilliant actor and comedian so he fell all the fucking time so i'm guessing as a person who's fallen a bunch of times yeah that guy's probably in pain a lot like all the time like people always say chevy chase is so grumpy yeah maybe he's just fucking in pain all the time yeah maybe he just doesn't feel good no dude you can't feel there's no way dude that's

just a few he fell on saturday night live all the time he fell didn't he fall on fletch remember that cop movie national lampoon i think he fell through the ceiling i think a lot of things bro he fell through everything so for me some of them might have been stuntmen i was boxing so much and what i would do is i would just get in the ring, and I would just start hitting the mitts kind of light. And by light, I mean, you know, I don't know, 30%. And then in about a minute, I'm going full because I'm warmed up. I feel great.

And a guy who is a trainer walked by. He used to be a pro football player, and now he trains a lot of pro athletes, and he knows his shit and he walked by and he goes uh he looks at me and he goes i think uh chris camacho chris looked at me and goes uh he just goes not warming up again huh guy in his 50s cool just going at it huh and he just looked at me he kind of went yeah that's all he said he knew he knew and sure enough sure enough i'm still now i haven't been able to box in i don't know three months dude because i fucked myself up because i didn't warm up you're talking to a moron who had stem cells shot in his knee the other day because i

tore my meniscus in a kicking contest with joe shilling i saw my pants on i'm a moron no warm up at all i was like there's no full blast of course no it's got it it gives a little bit sure because it's a padded thing that's a block that sits on the board that measures the amount of power whatever i was watching you kick it gone that's not good that's not good that wall is not given yeah yeah done it it's um not i'll tell you one thing though it's i'm not confident enough to uh side kick it like turning back kick it like really really like do like the hardest kick that i could do into it i don't want it doesn't give enough right you know like a spinning back kick or turning side kick

the amount of torque that's involved when you have that knee up and you turn in the corner and then you shove that fucking thing through Yeah Oh my god the amount of torque that's involved If that thing doesn't move That's gonna all be in your knee I'm not interested in doing that So I won't do that

But I'll kick it roundhouse kick Roundhouse kick you can kick a fucking bag That's not even gonna give at all Like they have those Fairtex bags that are like 300 pounds You ever seen those big, giant, fat ones? You could dig into that motherfucker and your leg's okay. Your leg kind of gives too. There's a little bit of flex to a roundhouse kick.

But a straight kick, so much of it is on the joint of the knee. So much of it, like a side kick in particular, so much of it when you extend, there's a lot of pressure on that knee and a lot of pressure on the foot too if you hit it wrong. Like if you hit it with the ball of the foot instead of the heel, oh my God, you could break your ankle. But, you know, I feel like guys like Henry Cejudo, those guys that come out of the Olympic training centers, like the national coach for the USA gymnastics team,

he was like, my athletes don't get injured. I mean, for the most part most part he said because the way we build them structurally and the boring as shit exercises we have our athletes do before they start kind of putting that kind of pressure on their joints and stuff is pedantic it's piecemeal but i was wondering like i'll see someone like Cejudo, who is a fucking, obviously a maniac with the way he trains. But he, there's a science. When you live at the Olympic Training Center, there's a science with all those guys. They're working out.

There's no meathead shit. Oh, no question at all. They're working out very specifically. He had those Neuroforce guys in here. That's the name of the company, right? Neuroforce, that helped train him. They have all these, like, really, like edge training methods yeah and uh but you know he did get injured oh he did he fucked his shoulder up in his last fight he's actually had surgery

in a fight yeah yeah that's not natural yeah the uh tj dillashaw fight which happened you know it's a very quick yeah oh no no no marlon marais that's right it was a marlon marais fight okay it was post tj Dillashaw. That Marlon Mraz fight was fucking incredible. The fact that that guy was able to weather that storm of that first round. And look, Marlon Mraz in that first round looked like an assassin. He looked like one of the best fighters ever. And then Cejudo.

And he is. But Cejudo just changed everything in the second round. He got in his face. He put it to him. He pressured him. And Marlon was, he felt too big. Too big when he was cutting the weight. He came in too heavy and it was too much of a drain on him. And Cejudo just overwhelmed him.

How would Aldo do against Cejudo? I've heard from other MMA fighters that they'd like to see that matchup. You really would never know until they fought. You'd never know. But I like Aldo at 135 pounds. He looks so good against Marais. It's interesting, though, like the UFC, it seems like, is saying that Aldo could get a title shot

even though he lost the decision to Marais. So I haven't talked to anybody. I don't know what their position is on that decision. I didn't think the decision was right. I felt like Aldo controlled so much more of the fight. Yeah. I don't like the, I've said it a hundred times, I'll say it 101, I don't like the way these fights are scored.

I don't think we should be using this really blunt tool for fine work. Right. I think there's a lot that goes on in a fight and we should probably have a conference where martial arts experts and you know whether it's from different disciplines wrestling uh kickboxing whatever everybody get together and just let's try to come up with a better solution someone should be able to come up with a better scoring system it doesn't have to be one to ten this one to ten is so arbitrary did you see um aldo landing more shots yes you did i felt like he was pressuring way more yes he was he felt like he was hitting him

harder particularly after the first round the first round uh marais has one of the very best switch kicks in the game man his left high switch kick he fucks everybody up with that man well he got hit with it yeah like the first shot that Marais threw was that fucking switch kick, man. His left switch kick is a thing of beauty. It's so fast, but it's also so loose. He throws it like a whip, man. It surprises you. It surprises me.

And I've seen him do it to Jimmy Rivera. I've seen him do it to, who else did he do it to? He's done it to a bunch of guys. Just comes out of nowhere. Yeah, yeah. Who the fuck else did he catch with that left switch kick? I can't remember. Aljamain Sterling.

That's right. He caught him with it, too. Dude, he knocked Aljamain out cold. Jesus. Check this out. See if you can find it. Watch this. Watch this shit.

So, Marai's switch kick is like, If you wanted to model yourself after switch kick It would be his to the head And Barboza's to the body They're very different They're very different switch kicks Because his is like faster It's weird man It's like he throws it and you don't see it coming

Yeah throw it right there Let's see it I want to see the actual one that he landed on Aldo See that That was perfect right there But go to the one that he did on Aldo If you can find that The switch kick he landed on Aldo

Early in the first round He does it so It's like a whip It's like It's so loose It seems like he just does it effortlessly Barboza's though To the body and to the legs

I've been caged K-Shot for that against Paul Felder. It's so crazy. Holy shit. Barboza's switch kick is so crazy. You just go what? Is there frames missing from that video? Horrifying. It's like there's frames missing. Yeah. Right? Who edited it?

Well, the guy, I think the 35 or the guy who just fought our boy Uriah Faber. Uriah looked great, too. 40 years old, looking phenomenal. But Jesus. Piotr Jan is a monster. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's a monster.

Christ. He's so strong. It's a stacked division, man. He's strong, man. I mean, he's one of those dudes that looks normal, but I think he's way stronger than he looks. Yeah. There's guys that exist like that.

Yes. Like chimp strength. A lot of them are Russian. That chimp strength a lot of them are Russian there's something about some of those Russian dudes you grab them and you're like hey what are you made out of and Russian by the way you can also say most of the great wrestlers and stuff are from places like

Azerbaijan, Dagestan the Turkmen people where fighting is a way of life watch how he does this watch how loose this is. Oh! Come on, man. That's amazing.

Yeah. I mean, that's amazing. Yeah, but Aldo looks great. It's so sweet. Oh, shit. See how it whips? Yeah. Like, I'm telling you, man, he might be the best in the world at that left high switch

See, Aldo still had his hand up there. Yep. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, Aldo's fine. But he did rock him. He definitely caught him. Yeah. And I don't care who the fuck you are.

That right there Is gonna hurt Ouch Yeah there you go Yeah see it didn't really block It just glanced off The top of his head Dude Aldo looks amazing

At 135 He looks amazing I think he could be A world champion at 135 No bullshit I can't believe he can Suck the gun away And by the way

He's only 33 I was gonna say And I have no problem With him fighting for the title You know why Cause for 9 years He was untouchable Yeah

9 years He's either 32 or 33 He is not old No No problem with him fighting for the title. You know why? Because for nine years he was untouchable. Yeah. Nine years. He's either 32 or 33. He is not old. No. He's in his athletic prime. Yeah. Dude. A lot of miles on him, though.

Oh, yeah, for sure. You see a lot of scar tissue on him, but still, he's got a zest for fighting. He fought really hard this past fight. Yes, he did. I mean, whether or not you'd agree with the decision or not, it it's a conversation really i mean i'm not right i have my own opinion i felt like aldo did enough to win i felt like i think people they i think there was a moment in the first round where you could say morais took control early landed some good shots and then he did get the takedown later in the fight, in the first round.

The first round is like a tricky one. The first round is a tricky one. I can see you giving that to Marais. It's still a close fight. It doesn't matter. I was fine with either one. I wanted Aldo because I love Aldo. I just don't buy the way they're scoring things. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I just don't know how you're

going to get a 10-9 and then another 10-9 is a totally different thing You could have a 10-9 where a guy beats the shit out of a guy And you could have a 10-9 where who knows who won the round You could have a 10-9 where almost nothing happens Or you have a 10-9 that's crazy That doesn't make sense to me Boxing is definitely more clear

Did you like the Ruiz Boxing is two weapons Two weapons No takedowns No submission attempts What's better? A takedowns no submission attempts what's better a takedown or punches what's better a jab or a body kick what's better what's better i don't know we gotta figure this out yeah you can't just have guys lose decisions and there's decisions being made by people who shouldn't even be in this conversation well as far as like what's i would

score less valuable in terms of like technique? I would score it like this. I think, so if you're a boxer, landing a jab is always easier than landing a right hand against somebody who's equally as good as you are. Okay. So landing a right hand is a motherfucker. So for me, I would always count. So, so I think that, you know, uh, a push kick with your front foot is not the same

as a switch kick that blasts somebody in their fucking head or their their ribs so i would count those kinds of um i don't know how you would how you would uh categorize it but maybe like the equivalent of what a right hand is which is somebody trying to actually close the deal knock you out versus set you up with a jab setting you up with a jab setting you up with a jab setting you up the front kick setting up those things is different than blasting somebody with a double leg blasting somebody with a back foot roundhouse kick a wheel kick exactly right there's so many weapons yeah there's so many i don't know how you do that though how would you because that's a strike

regardless and sometimes that strike doesn't you know it doesn't do anything to you well you can yeah you can't have a guy who's super durable, right? And you catch him with a couple of really good shots. But then he takes you down and lands a couple of good elbows. Who won the exchange? I don't know. I mean, maybe if the end of the round is the guy's on top, I have no evidence that you're going to get up.

You might get up eventually, but so far you're on the ground and he's holding you down, he's punching you. That means a lot. Then again, somebody can take your back, right, and they're controlling you, but you're doing great defense. Yeah, but it means a lot that the guy took your back. We have to look at it in terms of like your percentage of being successful once you get to a position increases with the complexity of the position,

the control that you get in that position. So if you get a person in half guard, that is not as good as you having someone's back with the body triangle on and one arm around the neck and one arm controlling the hand. Even if the guy is not tapped, that guy is in significant danger. Well, wrestling. In wrestling, you get a point for an escape. You get a point when you take somebody down.

You get a point for that. But when you take their back, that's two points. Right. That's fine. Because that's college. But you're close to finishing his life when you have his back. Yeah. This point shit, I don't want to hear this.

Yeah. When you get a guy's back, you got a body triangle in, you got an arm around the neck and you're controlling the other arm. Yeah. Somehow or another, you're really close to taking his life. Yeah. That's the difference. Right.

So this point stuff, it's great. Like what's more important to escape is when a guy has your fucking back and he has an arm under your chin and and you're just fighting hands yeah you don't want to be there man and if he has enough squeeze and enough energy to just fuck like damien maya can make people tap across their face he can he gets you across your face and he cranks your fucking neck he knows how to manipulate necks so it's not just like him squeezing and hoping that it works he's gonna get his shoulder into and he's going to get all this torque into your neck. He doesn't have to go into your neck.

You ever see his fight with Rick Story? Yeah. He's choking him, and blood is squirting out of Story's nose as he's squeezing his neck. I mean, it's all. That's Damian Meyer. Baro. Do you know who I train with now who's nice enough to teach me? It's Higan Machado.

Oh, I love Higan. I love him. By the way, where's his school? I want to give him a shout out. It's on the beach somewhere, right? No, it's on Wilshire. 8126 Wilshire Boulevard. Bro, he just gave Ashton Kutcher a brown belt.

I know he did. Ashton Kutcher is legit. Ashton's supposed to be good. He must be legit. I got Schaub so riled up on the podcast because I said to Schaub, Schaub goes, it just bothered me that Higin said that Ashton could beat Conor McGregor in jiu-jitsu. And I went, I knew I'd get to him. And I went, well, he's 6'4". He's got very long arms. And he goes, he would destroy Ashton Kutcher in under a minute. I got

him so riled. I was like, I don't know, bro. I just kept going, I don't know. He lost his mind. don't know bro i just kept going i don't know he lost his mind it's it's not impossible for someone who's really dedicated to jujitsu to get to a point where they could tap an mma fighter because most elite mma fighters have many many skills and many many different like things that they're working on constantly if you're just concentrating on jujitsu particularly with the leg lock guys yeah they're gonna be better at it just like if you just go to box you know if someone invites you you know like uh terence crawford invites someone to go to his camp and box like in fact tj dillashaw said that about lomachenko that he boxed with lomachenko and it felt like he was just being kind to him of course like he said

it felt like he was like once the guy opened up Of course. It felt like once the guy opened up, he was like, oh, shit. Yeah. That's his sport now. But Lomachenko was nice to him and didn't fuck him up. Speaking of warming up, there's a great video of him warming up. I watched it. I was like, oh, that's how a pro does it. Lomachenko?

Yeah. He's like one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, one arm, switch stance, switch stance, switch stance, one arm, one arm, one arm. Everything is, one arm, switch stance, switch stance, switch stance, one arm, one arm, one arm. Everything is slow and methodical. He's not doing anything stupid. He has like a whole system that he does to warm his body up before he starts moving really fast and throwing punches. Yeah, and he's 26 or whatever. Yeah, here it is right here.

But you watch this and you go, yeah, this is what you're supposed to do when you're a fucking professional. I've had a chance to see it live once with Manny Pacquiao. Really? professional. I've had a chance to see it live once with Manny Pacquiao. Really? Yeah, Manny Pacquiao was doing this thing at Wild Card Boxing and I got to watch him train a little bit.

And I got to watch him warm up with these bands. He has these little bands and he does these warm up things. He warms everything up. I mean, his body is a race car. You know, he's not doing that dumb shit that you and I would do. Just go in there and see how much can you bench. You mean just getting in there and going?

Yeah. Ari and Bert and Tom were in the back fucking around with my weights. And none of them could do 225. And so I went back there. I was like, can you do 225? And I was drunk. I was like, fuck yeah, I could do 225. God damn it.

So I did 225 for 12. I would have stopped you immediately. No warm up, 51 years old. Terrible idea. That's so stupid. It's pretty damn good though. I'm glad I didn't hurt anything. That's exactly how you hurt something.

I could have easily gone pop. Of course. When the weights come down, boom, pin me to the chest. I'm going to have to roll out from under them. But you got competitive. And then my arm swells up with blood because it's, you ever see a guy when they blow their bicep or their chest, their pec out? Yes.

Oh, it's so nasty. I feel like you and I should do a dance competition and show Bert and Tom up. But Tom and Bert are both athletic dudes. They're actually both athletic guys. Here's my prediction. Yeah, Tom can dance his ass off. Yeah. He can legit dance his ass off.

But Bert can, you ever see him swing a golf club? He's an athletic dude. Yeah, he's a big dude too. Yeah. They're both big off. But Bert can... You ever see him swing a golf club? He's an athletic dude. Yeah, he's a big dude, too. They're both big guys. They're both big guys. Here's my prediction. Yeah. They keep ramping it up.

Really? I don't think we're done. I think you're about to see some epic shit. Really? I think they're going to keep ramping it up. I feel like I want in. I mean, I know I'm being derivative and I'm copying, but I want to fucking dance, bro. Why don't you have your own? I think they both already have scripts written for their retorts, and I don copying, but I want to fucking dance, bro. Why don't you have your own?

I think they both already have scripts written for their retorts and I don't know who's going to go first. Well, it's got to be Bert. Bert's got to be next because Tom just murdered him. You can't double down. This shit was ruthless. I mean, come on, man. This shit was ruthless. What happened? Did you spill all over

yourself? What happened to you? You spilled and you hugged. hug spilled my fucking turmeric on this this video you've seen this video right come on oh it's the best bro it's amazing i know but here's it's amazing it's actually good i know like this part like watch this i mean come on look at him moving around dude Dude, he can dance great. I know. And that's why he was offended by Burt's. He's like, this dude's pretending he knows how to dance just because he takes his pants off?

I'll show you. He got more mad when people gave him credit for it, too. They're like, oh, look at Burt dancing. He did get mad. Yeah, I didn't understand that. I was a little confused. I felt like he was laying back, like, if we were going to do a hip-hop dance contest. You know what I mean?

Like, he's the guy at the bar that pretends he can't play pool i mean i played a couple of times oh by the way he's selling those machine shirts machine you go buy those at your mom's house.com i'm gonna buy one of those i said that i said that i say to rogan i put him on a thread this i think it was before they were doing the dance thing i remember i said to you i go i had shab eddie uh you and me and i said let's do a fucking dance off and then and then yeah yeah and then rogan comes back with hey if we do a dance off you're gonna want to win and i don't know if i had the time to dedicate to that shit and i was like he you got serious right away you get get competitive. I'm a moron. Yeah, and you would. I have a real- You would do whatever you had to do to win.

I have kept my most ridiculous moron tendencies at bay for most of my adult life. But when we did Sober October last year and I was making the fire alarm go off from my sweat, I was telling them, I'm like, you're going to die. I'm like, if you're going to try to do what I'm willing to do, you're going to die. You don't understand. I'll work out eight, 10 hours a day.

You'll kill yourself. I go, we're going to die. It was like, I remember when you were a young man, you said to me, you're like, I,

I think I might fight Wesley Snipes. And I was like, what? And, and you were, I was, cause you looked, you were like pulsing.

You looked like a fucking, like one of those guys who gets caught in nuclear waste. Your veins and everything, you're just like. And you were breathing like Chuck Liddell. And I go, hey, what's up? That's not really my case. I'm just training. I'm training all the time.

I was training all the time. I was training twice a day. It was really hard. Yeah, it was crazy. But I thought it was really going to happen. Like we had lawyers involved. Wes is an athlete. He owed a lot of money to the IRS.

That's what it was. He got in a real bad situation, apparently, where someone was advising him that he didn't have to pay taxes. You know, man. Strong man. One of those, you ever check the Constitution, man? You're your own island, your own country, that horse shit. That shit doesn't work, man.

My friend did that. My friend did that. This is what he did he he said he declared himself a sovereign state and then he decided he was going to run illegal substances across state lines he gets caught and he goes i'm my own sovereign state i can do whatever i want cop goes that's awesome you're going to jail now they put him in in court he had a whole defense he i'm a sovereign state i refuse to give you my name they were like the judge was like very cool uh you're going to jail now for eight months we'll see you later gang gang and

now you had a record okay i had that workout for you not well at all some people read the constitution they somehow or another decided they're experts yeah but what is it what is it going there's a lot of that going on these days where people like have this idea that fuck all these legal scholars yeah like i see the loophole yeah and i'm gonna point this out in front of the judge and it will be undeniable like yeah bro pay your taxes right who's gonna who's gonna fix the streets because they listen to they listen to but usually people just want to be part of a larger thing right so so actually uh most people are are saying what was given to them and it feels good emotionally and one of the things as you get older that's really important to do is to always be willing not only to change

your mind and admit that you probably you could be hopelessly wrong you could be completely wrong but also to always be able to justify with reason and with measured argument your most cherished beliefs okay because so much of who we are is what we believe right so much of who we are is just where i stand politically whereas all those things that i've worked hard to kind of come up with a comprehensive political and philosophical mooring to stand on. me without you know putting it through the grinder and really sitting down and testing it then i'm i'm guilty of being philosophically complacent and you know and basically it's just you're a slave to your ego right you don't you don't want to admit that you're wrong about things yes but i think you can't be married to ideas no who you are is how you go through this life yes and it's how you go through this life now this is what's very important for people you know i try to talk about this as much as

possible you can't get you can't get stuck in your past because like mistakes that you made when you were a child can haunt you deep into adulthood yes because you decide that you're the person who got bullied after seventh grade and you're a loser and everybody hates you. And those feelings, you can cling on to those fuckers and they'll weigh you down. You can cling on to them and you can take them into your later life. And I know people that are like, man, they're in their 60s. There was this, maybe you told me this. Maybe you told me this.

But did you tell me the story about this dude who was like an older guy that was afraid to walk down a certain road because this other older guy who used to bully him in high school lived there? No. He didn't tell me this. Somebody told me this, and this guy was in his 60s. And he was scared to go down this road because this guy lived there who used to bully him in high school, and the guy still fucked with him. Still fucked with him. No way. Bro, there's some people that get stuck like that you have to get closer both of those guys that's why i think for a lot of guys uh you know walking into an mma gym it's terrifying but it's okay everything start with you know one tiny step and i like i like doing

anything that makes me feel uncomfortable and and and takes me off my pins and huge and because i it opens up new pathways of understanding somehow or it certainly forces me to so so what i do now with people who i disagree with philosophically you know like say i'm talking to somebody who's a hardcore socialist or something like that it's okay but what i what i try to do is i just try to listen to them really... I try to kind of zero in instead of like immediately throwing my hands up.

Did you see what Brittany Cummings said the other day? Brittany Cummings? Whitney Cummings. No. Did I say Brittany? Did I? I think I was slobbering.

It's okay. Too much of that turmeric coffee? That does. People say say why are you coughing so much i don't want to tell the truth it's turmeric coffee you got a full mouth bro you got a full mouth you gotta um shit what was i just saying you said whitney cummings oh she got reported to hr on a show she was on because as she was leaving, she said, Merry Christmas. Some intern. No. Yes. Intern was offended. Called Human Resources.

Because she said, Merry Christmas. And her response was, hey, I really don't give a fuck if you have a good Christmas. It's just a nice thing to say. Yeah. I don't give a fuck about your Christmas. I don't even know you. Something that's really- They reported her.

Something that's very fucking important for people to realize about the west something that's really unique about the west and western civilization is that imperialism racism sexism all these isms that we are guilty of well the west didn't invent these things but uh we did you know we were egregious violators in some cases of that you know slavery was a real thing in this country but what's what's unique about the west and i'm getting this thing is that we were the first to label it and condemn it and the west has always been a country that seems always to be in the process of repenting for its past repentingenting for its sins. That is not common. That is unique. And self-criticism is part of it.

As a society, we are... So people like that silly girl who... That's been going on, actually, in one way or another for a long time. Now it's... The intern? Yes, now it's way more... I don't know if it was a girl or a boy. I'm not sure.

Now it's a little bit more. It's way more. But that's actually to the character of this country we have always had people who kind of went uh you know um that's wrong i don't want to do that this is this isn't fair all that kind of stuff and it was a fucking it would always cause all kinds of problems but that's extreme that's a silly goose whoever's doing that well it's ho. But that's extreme. That's a silly goose. Whoever's doing that. Well, it's Hollywood.

There's a Hollywood thing where these people can't be liberal enough. They're trying so hard to be progressive that they're just becoming ridiculous. Yeah, I know. But they get so reactionary and everyone's scared that they're going to be out of the woke loop. Like maybe they're behind. They're letting something slide that they should have stepped up for. Because now you can get in trouble if you don't come out against someone saying Merry Christmas.

Like, hey man, where were you when that fucking pig said Merry Christmas? Do you know what Christmas means? Yeah. Dude, they want to take away the word supremacy and quantum supremacy, which is quantum computing. It's next level, next step computing. And there was an article about Google achieving quantum supremacy. And they were like, well, we don't like the term supremacy because it reminds people of white supremacy. Do you know what I think about those people?

Do you know what I think about a lot of those people? They're ready. They're young. They're not experienced. And they're not that bright. I'm sorry. Well, the thing is they are bright. They just aren't wise.

They're very smart, and they know they are, which is one of the reasons why they want to make an argument to push something like that through and think that it makes sense. It's because they're so smart. But what they're not is you get seasoned by your interactions with human beings. You're naive when you're younger, and then as you get older you get seasoned your mind changes but you also get seasoned meaning you experience so many different human beings that exhibit these sort of stereotypes and these like patterns of behavior and you got to know when people are being knuckleheads and you got to know when people are being wise and objective

and you got to know when people are being kind and loving and you got to know when people are being assholes like you can see all the different things as you get older you get more data you know and a lot of these kids are like 20 you know 22 and they're yelling about the world like that greta thornburg chick they keep breaking every she's 16 she's a kid listen you've got some good points but this they're using you now well what happens is as you get older and you try to solve problems at the level of detail. So if you and I had to really solve some problems, let's say health care. You and I, I'm sitting here. I'm not solving shit.

If we had to try, right? Well, what happened is we might come with more of a Republican or a Democratic or a liberal or a conservative sensibility initially. I think once you get down to the level of detail and you're trying to solve these problems, all that ideology kind of goes out the window because now you're dealing with hard numbers and math and you're trying to deal in percentages and you're trying to deal with what's the best policy for the most number of people. And so it becomes way, way grayer and way less teeny if you are somebody that has to solve problems. If you are somebody who has to turn a profit,

if you're somebody who has to figure out what your clientele actually will buy. And I think sometimes that's why people who own businesses and people who have to make the trains run on time have a different philosophical and political point of view than do people who essentially spend a lot of time reading thinking and writing in an academic institution right because you don't need to get down to the level of detail you can stay in that wonderful world of theory and that's an important world it's not to say that you shouldn't have that but a lot of journalists come from that world they come straight from that world of theory

that world of that intellectual pursuit and and they come right into then they see the world and i think that might be why a lot of times people in the media tend to be a little bit more ideological maybe a little bit more ideological maybe a little bit more liberal depending because you could say fox news is just as fucking ideological on the other side but i do think your your perspective changes when you have to get down to when you're out there in the real world yes yeah no it's like fighting it's like you need both though yeah right and this is what what i think we need to make this distinction. Like, you need these quantum theorists.

You need these historians. You need these people that are just completely engaged in whatever the subject is at hand. And they're just lifelong academics. You need both. You need both. Yeah. But the real problem is when people come out of these universities and they have these sort of hard line ideas of how the world needs to change.

They're revolutionaries. Yeah. Yeah. And they, there's, it's very exciting. It's very exciting. So they want to burn down the whole building. And then you start looking for witches. Okay.

And then you start going, that bitch said, Merry Christmas. And that's what that is. Yeah. That's what's nuts. Google's calling it quantum supremacy. Can you fucking believe this shit? Like, yeah, we got to burn it down. Burn it down.

Yeah. It's a lot of it is being young. But young people can do some, when they get together, the communist revolution was, you know. This is also why discourse is so important, right? Like young people need to talk to other people. You know, like a lot of these people with these ideas are one day going to laugh at those ideas. They're one day going to look back and go, oh my God, when I was 20, I was so stupid. Just like you have done, just like I have done,

just like basically everybody does as they get older. You start thinking, oh my God, when I was 18, what a fucking moron I was. Oh my God, when I was 24, you want to hear the stupid shit I thought I should do? I mean, that's part of life. You also have to realize that historically, that thing I sent you,

people ask me what I read and stuff. If you go to audible.com and go to the great courses, I listen to these courses. I just listened to 48 lectures by a guy named Robert Buchholz, who's this fucking amazing professor on the foundations of Western civilization. One of the things he says in it is he said, Europeans, I mean, the history of Europe, I mean, culminating with World War I and World War II, As bloody and as violent, it's beyond what we can imagine. How many millions were killed in World War II? It's beyond what we can imagine. But Europeans figured out, and it's a huge accomplishment, and really the first time in history for anybody. They figured out how to solve their differences without killing each other.

And that happened after World War II. And it took that long. They actually figured out a way to solve their differences by disagreeing, by fighting about it, by fighting dirty, but by winning elections. Here's a question. The war in Europe, all the countries involved, what was the size of the landscape we're looking at in relationship to the United States? When you look at France and Germany and England, what is that?

Well, it wasn't just France, Germany, and England. Oh, yeah, but I'm talking about all of those. It was Russia. Russia, I think, is five time zones, right? Russia's giant. Russia's a different animal, right? Because Russia is, you know, that's Asia. Yeah, and Russia would just rely on old general winter.

But the European aspect of it, the European part of World War I and II, what I was thinking is it's almost like having a war inside America, right? I mean, it's really close. I think if you take France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Poland, all those areas. They fit in Rhode Island. Hungary, Austria, Bulgaria, Romania, Yugoslavia. Put those in Florida. It was tough.

How big is that area? That's a lot of Googling. I found a thing that like World War I map, 40 maps that explain World War I. World War I is a different thing too. Oh, yeah. That's what you're talking about, right? World War II. Two is the whole world.

Yeah, two is everything, right? Two is Japan too. Remember, World War I, the Ottoman Empire was crumbling, right? So Turkey's empire was crumbling. So Turkey got the Middle East involved. The British were involved in the Middle East. They were fighting the Turks. That whole area became theater for war.

Dude, I'm on my third Wild West book in the last couple weeks. Really? Yeah, yeah. About the history of the Wild West. Let me tell you this one. It's Blood and Thunder. Yeah. Blood and Thunder, an epic tale of the american west it's about kit carson and the

mountain men yeah bro rough dudes bro men just the the the wars with all the various tribes and the chaos and the way they would kill people oh my god it's so crazy the native americans oh yeah dude one of these stories that i was reading uh i don't think it was this one it was uh it wasn't the kit carson one it was um the um the one on uh general custer general custer was the last one which was um son of the morning star that was the last one that i was reading bro there's There's one guy, a Native American guy, wants to fuck this other guy's wife. So he tries to get him. He can't get him.

Eventually he finds him one day. Kills him. Eats his heart. Cooks his heart. Comes back and tells everybody and then marries the lady. Well, you got to eat a man's heart because you impose his will on him. Imagine you're married. It's one thing to choke a guy out.

Imagine you're a woman. You're married to a guy. And this other dude wants to fuck you. he kills your husband and eats his heart yeah and then you say get in this teepee big boy that's that's pretty fucking gangster that's pretty fucking because the guy loved you and i'm gonna eat his heart i'm gonna eat his love for you he cut he cut two fingers off of his hand because he couldn't get to her and he loved her so much. Damn. And he was angry that he couldn't kill her. Did he win her over? Well, he must have won her over.

He cut two fingers off his hand before he got to her. Damn. And then found the guy after he cut two fingers off his hand. Yeah. Killed the guy. Yeah. Ate his fucking heart. Sure.

Cooked it. Came back, told everybody. Like, ate most of the heart. Yeah, that's a stalker. That's a stage five stalker? Oh, yeah. Or is that go-be-hast? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to eat his heart. Ate his heart. stalker that's it that's a that's a stage five stalker is that or is that go past that's yeah

yeah i'm gonna eat his heart ate his heart you remember like when we used to have those uh terrorism colors like today yellow no worries yeah remember it was a flag yeah that's it that's a fact this is it the battlefronts of europe yeah this was from 1917 and a paper in london made this this is explaining uh interesting the battle area battle zones yeah also all of it fit in the center of the country right and they compared it even yeah god damn dude just imagine if that shit was going on the center of the country if montana was at war with wyoming and colorado it was all it's all trench warfare too oh my god world war is really interesting because there are some parallels now. World War I, if you look at World War I, it was a time when, first of all, the world hadn't been, Europe hadn't been to war for 100 years.

So when people went into war in World War I, they were, I mean, they went in, every young man volunteered. And even women volunteered to be nurses and to cook. So it was this, they were singing songs and they were going to be gone for two weeks. And it was going to be really exciting. And it was romantic. And no one, including the soldiers, really understood the technology like machine guns and that kind of technology and mustard gas. They didn't know. and that kind of technology and mustard gas.

And they didn't know. They were still fighting the way they had been fighting for millennia, which was on horseback, feathers in their helmets, and charging with great bravery. And so what happened was they would charge, and the other side would open up with machine guns and artillery and then ultimately poison gas. And so the numbers are too staggering to even imagine but like for 800 yards to you know to try to capture that much land or whatever

they would lose they lost something like 300 000 men in a day and that's what was going on they were just getting mowed down that many oh dude the numbers are crazy the battle of the psalm i can't remember what it was it was beyond like the number of men that were lost per foot i remember i had to ask three times because i couldn't believe it and because they were just so your your arrogant commanders would blow a whistle sometimes they would kick a soccer ball and you would follow the soccer ball over the ditch and run as they were shooting uh-huh and you'd and if you didn't you'd be tried for cowardice sometimes you'd be shot by your commanding officer in the back of your head because remember a lot of these armies were conscripted they were brought in against their will from you know this was the

time of imperialism when the country that was bigger and stronger the austro-hungarian empire austria itself would come in and say, you belong to us now. There were these secret alliances that would happen. And so that battle was so insane. And it was just, it was a true meat grinder. It was a true meat grinder. And then you'd have no man's land, right? So you'd have no man's land.

And that was the area where they would come in. So you'd have no man's land. And that was the area where they would come in. They had to cross to kill. And men, you'd hear them dying and groaning, but nobody could get to them. It was the fucking, it was the worst, man. It was the worst. And in those trenches, the body parts and everything,

and then people would have to go to the bathroom there, and then the rain would come. You were living in a gutter. It was beyond what people can imagine. It was beyond. It was the most horrific thing. And the only thing that was worse was something called world war ii which is essentially a continuation of that first european civil war and uh i don't know man it's it's beyond what we can we're so fucking lucky we don't live in a time like that yes sir less than 100 years inside of one person's lifetime yeah 1945 is ari ari's

dad is a holocaust survivor yep yeah ari shafir's dad yeah is a fucking holocaust survivor you know i mean that's how close it is and that all came from this idea back then that you could perfect society and perfect human beings you know six inch howitzer yeah that's a mountain human beings you know we're this is where the idea of uh where ideas can be so dangerous this idea that human beings are a blank slate and they'll that you can make them anything you want you can re-educate them in a camp and they'll be what you want this is the history of of europe and and those ideas lost ground that's why individual, it's so fucking important for the individual to take precedence over the state. This is also why it's so important for people to be able to express themselves.

That's what I mean. And for people to, you know. But fidelity to the state in a fascist society in communist Russia, fidelity to the state, the collective must be superior to the individual the individual you're a tiny leaf on a tree if you have a society like that somebody's going to run that somebody's going to set that doctrine and they and they will justify killing 20 30 million people the way they're doing it for the country sure yeah you know there's so many patterns like that to just repeat themselves over and over again

with human beings in power. You know, Hitler, by many accounts, seemed to genuinely enjoy World War I. He enjoyed it. And then he got blinded by mustard gas and he couldn't believe Germany surrendered. He couldn't believe it. And a German physician,

there's one record of the German physician saying, characterizing Hitler as follows. Again, this is from Buchholz's lectures. It said, he goes, this person is not fit to command humans and is dangerously psychotic. And because of a lot of crazy reasons he was able to start the or join the nazi that he's worked in that he actually started as um a minder for the german army what's a minder so a guy who spied on uh subversive groups oh okay like a rat yeah rational revolutionary groups that's how he came across the nationalist socialist party national socialist party yeah the nuts you're now the nazis and uh but kind of went

you know what i like what these guys are saying yeah so he joined yes i want fucking war so that's like if you had an undercover fbi agent he became one of the hell's angels he took over the organization because that's he took over but World War II the crazy thing about right before World War II everything like today so you never notice how today we can't agree on really even source material if you have an argument

where did you get your information CNN what or Fox News you fucking and the conversation you can't even start right because we don't have now we're talking about a simulation maybe this whole thing maybe we and i are just self-replicating machines you know what so nobody really knows at this point it's really hard to arrive at a fixed point of truth right back in the day the bible was your fixed point of truth maybe aristotle but at the turn of the century like right before

world war one man like you had darwin comes along you had you well he'd come along but you had freud who said something to the effect of hey we're animals and we're basically we will kill and use each other as sexual tools if we don't have a strong society. And there were all these like, there were all these sort of new Nietzsche, Marx, who said God is dead, Nietzsche said God is dead, but Marx basically said, religion is the opium of the masses, human beings are the masters of their own fate. And all of these guys who basically took God out of the equation, and all of them were basically saying that we are animals and god isn't it god is no longer here we're animals and if you don't create a society

control our animalistic impulses we're gonna fucking slaughter and rape each other and world war one proved all of those guys right basically but it was a time when there was everything was up in the air Einstein comes along and says time and space not so fast it's actually relative and everybody went what huh he goes yeah time doesn't exist like a stopwatch god didn't start a stopwatch and that's what Newton said but actually good luck trying to work your way through that you can't the one way if you go fast enough into space and then come back, everybody here will be old and you'll be the same age. Do you know how that works?

Yeah, I do. But it's still, like, what? It's really weird. Do you know, I think this is true. This is what I read. He was walking. He was, like, in, where was he, CERN, Switzerland, or whatever the fuck it is.

He gets off the, he's trying to come up with these, he's thinking about the theory of relativity or whatever and he gets off the the train and he's walking away from the train station he turns and looks at the clock and the clock says let's say six o'clock he turns those clocks and he turns back around and he stops and he goes wait hold on i was walking away from the clock so when i saw the clock it said six but that's how long it took the light to get to my eye by the time the light hit my eye was actually later because the light has to hit my eye for me do you understand right a fraction of a second later so he said what if i was moving at the speed of light time would stand still because the light would never hit my eye it's a weird thing to say but i was like that's a fucking

yeah but i wonder if that works with biological aging they wonder biological aging is on a constant right oh that's interesting yeah entropy right well i know that like time would be different right but i wonder like when you say time stands still but it's got to exist if you're alive it's got to exist somehow biologically your body's not going to stop heartbeating and breathing right so like how many heartbeats do you have in you i mean that's part of what life is life is like you got a limited number of heartbeats if you wanted to really break it down right how many of them are you going to use while you're going through light speed those don't count i know you're gonna be your heart's gonna beat right right so how long is it actually

going to take in real time down on earth while you're up there i don't know i think it's going to be like where you're moving so fast that it feels like 10 minutes because it is 10 minutes to you and then you come back you've only aged 10 minutes but it might be 10 years down here well didn't you have um somebody on your podcast i think it was they were talking about how you don't what what ages you the reason we look older than we did 25 years ago is because of entropy so things mix things mix and you can't unmix them what's the matter i just listened to this book about time and these concepts just came up sort of that you're talking about after the whole book i was more confused about time to be honest just came up sort of that you're talking about. After the whole book, I was more confused about time, to be honest with you.

Fuck, dude. I don't know. It's called The Order of Time by Carlo Rovelli. By the way, that's a great name. Carlo Rovelli. Rovelli. It's like if you were a chick and your friend was going to introduce you to a guy and his name was Carlo Rovelli.

My name is Carlo. Carlo Rovelli. He's a New York Times selling author. Yes. Best seller. You'd be like, ooh. And he plays jazz at night. Oh, for sure. He goes to see jazz. Carlo Rovelli he's a New York Times selling author best seller and he plays jazz at night Carlo

Rovelli he'll smoke one clove cigarette a month according to this book sometimes I cook time works different like up higher than it does lower

for instance if you had two synchronized clocks even on the top of this table in the ground they would not be synced up

over a certain amount of time why why because because this is what carlo rovelli moves slower at sea level so if you live at sea level you will live longer than people that live higher okay that's because the oxygen the oxygen is much i want to be fucking italian so badly dude well you're you have a lot of italian in you what percentage do you have in you? I'm 51%. 51%. But I want to speak this way.

I want to be romantic and I want to whisper. There's something about being born in a country that has a long, rich tradition. I know. If you're born somewhere, like if you're born in Spain, and your grandfather was a bullfighter, you're born in Spain. I love a flair for the dramatic, you know. Barcelona.

Barcelona. Yeah, you got a flair. I was in, I remember I was a young man. I was like 19. I was at a fucking club med with my family and just the girls and everything.

And there was this pot of shit, like CrossFit. She wasn't doing CrossFit, but she looked like it. She wasn't such an athlete. And I've always liked muscular, you know, and I'm looking at him, this guy, he was from italy i remember he was and i remember i never forgot

he just goes like this he goes i go she's beautiful and he goes she's too beautiful you know i die for her i die i die for her and i was like i want to be you man i want to say that once in my life i die if you ever watch like that show Well, have you ever watched that show Vikings? You ever see that show Vikings? It's a fun show. It's actually a very good show. Very underrated show. Yeah. A lot of people get fucked up and killed.

But one of the things that I was thinking, and a lot of it happens in Rome, a lot of it happens in Europe. There's a lot of crazy shit with the Vikings. But while I was watching it, I was thinking, those people had kids, and their people had kids, and their people had kids, and their people had kids and their their kids have iphones like it's not that long ago and those people that live in that part of the world those people that live in ireland and those people that live in in great britain and a lot of that area like a lot of the folks who lived there are the ancestors of these people that lived this insane history right insane history of warfare with swords and shields and shit.

These motherfuckers. Yeah. That's the movie. Or that's the show. No joke. It's a good show, man. Hey, whatever happened to one of my favorite UFC fighters, who's a Valhalla Viking motherfucker,

the guy, he's from Sweden, shredded out of his mind. Which guy? Me. Emil Meek? He fought at 170. Yeah, that's Emil Meek? He fought at 170? Yeah, that's Emil Meek. He's a beast. He's a rock and roller, too?

I think you say Mech. I think you're supposed to say Mech. He plays the guitar, too? I think you pronounce his name Mech. Do you get more shredded than that? He's a fucking gorilla, and he's super strong, too. Yeah. Very good fighter.

I don't know what's going on with him. I haven't seen him in a while. Classic Viking. He was at the event last weekend. When was his last fight? When did he have a fight last? A while ago, I feel. Yeah, it him in a while. Classic Viking. He was at the event last weekend. When was his last fight? When did he have a fight last? A while ago, I feel. Yeah, it's been a while.

Sometimes these dudes, they'll hurt something. They're out for a while. Cub Swanson just tore his ACL. I know. Yeah, he's going to be out for almost a year. That sucks. He's scheduled to fight in February. Oh, he is?

Okay. Who's he fighting? Jake Matthews. Oh, that's a good fight. Yeah, Cub was in a grappling match against Jake Shields, who's a fucking huge guy. He's quite a bit bigger than Cub. Yeah. Jake's huge.

And a sick grappler. And Jake had his legs laced up, and Cub was trying to work his way out of it. And just a freak thing. It just popped. And his knee and his meniscus, his ACL blew out and he just got surgery on it jake used me as a dummy once i would say i rolled with him but i he used me as a dummy and i said why'd you beat me up so bad he didn't know me because i just i didn't know if you were good i want you to get position and you talk about on your podcast i was like hey dude i'm a fucking i'm an actor and

i have a vagina trying to hurt you no he just had to he had to make sure that i was one with the mat though oh make sure that i was get in the mat get you let's get let's go ahead and get your fucking face against here let me go well i gotta clean the mat a little dirty so let me just you know well he's a competitor professionally you know he doesn't have no time to be fake rolling with people no don't every role he has like these are like he's a pro i had no business being on the mat with him he's's still doing really competitive grappling, too. Have you ever hung with him? He's really smart.

He's a very good guy. But he's also intellectually curious. Jake does a lot of reading. I have very good conversations with Jake. Really smart guy. Super good grappler. He submitted Mark Munoz at that event, too. Yeah.

Jake's legit. And I've seen him in grappling competitions like long before he ever fought in the UFC. I feel like Mark was 318 pounds in his last... He hasn't been missing any meals. Mark looks big.

Yeah, I don't know how much you weigh. Thick guy. He definitely is not in tip-top shape. I'm sorry, Mark, if somebody was joking. Maybe you're not that heavy. Yeah, that's Cubs. See, they're laced up like this, and as he's moving there, his knee just popped. Oh, that's not good. That's awful.

It can happen, man, in weird ways when you have legs tangled up like that. Sometimes someone will just lean one way, and it puts a lot of pressure on your knee, and it just explodes. Jake might be the toughest vegan on the planet. He's a vegan he's vegetarian he eats eggs i enjoyed your uh i enjoyed that um game changers uh with chris kresser and uh it's it's a little bit like uh listening to a protestant and a catholic argue over the minutiae of how to worship god like they both believe in god it's like or or or like a sunni and a shia it was it was very interesting in that sense like how human beings get steeped in in too much information and then we'll start

parsing out stuff that's not that helpful to the listener it's a long conversation the conversation about health is very long and unfortunately when chris was talking about the game changers he got several things wrong, particularly the big ones were the amount of protein that you can get in peanut butter, the amount of protein that's in bread, and whether or not that is equal to three ounces of ground meat. Right. And what Wilkes was showing is that it is, and he made his point very well, and that made Chris, his argument, not look very good.

Right. And then there was the other problem, whereas Chris Kresser sort of personally defined what he defines as low-carb versus medium-carb versus high-carb and wasn't making a distinction that this is not the consensus amongst nutritionists. Right. What they consider low-carb, medium-carb. what they consider low-carb, medium-carb, high-carb. James accused him of that. Chris denied it. And then James pulled out all of these different articles that show that he has a different version of what he calls low-carb, medium-carb, or high-carb. The problem with all this is he's just making Chris look bad, and he's not necessarily proving that a vegetarian or vegan diet is better for you.

But he is rightly pointing out that he was wrongly criticized. So I get his position. I was very impressed with James' ability to come prepared. Very prepared. I do believe he spent 3,000 hours. I mean an hour, 1,000 hours. I believe that. Yeah, I believe that now.

He knows his shit. After talking to him about this and the way he handled it. But I kept going back to what Chris was saying, which was, hey, hey, hey, I believe in plants. I eat mostly plants. A little animal products, some animal products, is an easier way to get B1. Yes, but that's the problem. It's not going to kill you. That's the problem with doing a documentary.

And then that's a problem with someone criticizing the documentary. But the documentary. He's got enough stuff that he can say you were inaccurate with with the criticism so that then we get lost in the argument like is meat bad for you is it like that's the main it's not no that's the problem but the way they're conflating it with people who were advertising for cigarettes and doctors advertising for cigarettes back in the day and saying that cigarettes are fine, but these are the same people that are doing this.

Like, no, the problem is everyone was aware for a long time that cigarettes are not healthy. Right. This is not the case with meat. No. These studies that where you connect people with all these diseases with meat, they connect their diet as a whole. They could be eating cheeseburgers and bread and soda and lifestyle and drinking and smoking, but they also eat meat versus people who don't eat meat.

Well, if someone is going to be conscientious and think about, even if they're incorrect and they just assume that the science says that eating meat is bad for you, you start eating more fish or more chicken or more vegetables. You clean up your diet. I bet just statistically those people have less drinking. I bet statistically they have less cigarette smoking. They're probably healthier on the whole because they're making choices that, even if it's incorrect, they think are good for you,

like not eating meat or as much meat. But as a non-nutritionist who doesn't know shit, when I watched uh game changers i i have to say that it it did seem like the narrative the story of the movie uh was that um being a vegan is better for you for all these reasons all these scientific reasons than eating any meat that's that's what for me it was a vegan film even though james would probably disagree with that for me just as a viewer the argument was being made that being a vegan that from what i from just what i got right regardless of what was meant i got that being a

vegan is better for you it keeps your dick hard uh you won't die of cancer and you'll have less inflammation and all those things more endurance all of which seemed you know i talked to lane norton about this for a while and he he had written this thing i don't know if he said he had a video you could watch his video on game changers debunked where he broke down basically every single claim that they made that was incorrect okay scientifically as a phd he's a legit he's a legit scientist i mean he absolutely understands the the what what's really going on when it comes to nutritional science. And I would have stuck to that, though. I would have just said at the end of the day, this is a debate about, can you eat some meat

and dairy? But here's the problem. Because of Kresser's criticism of the film, he was in every right. He had every right to defend the respect the criticism i respect you he did it right yeah the problem was we didn't get any closer at the end there was there was some confusion that was about whether or not um it is healthy or not healthy to eat meat he was citing some studies and cressor was saying those studies aren't valid because of this and that and that's where we would have been if we had a guy like lane norton in here would have helped a lot we could have someone actually explain it but you

could also have a guy who comes in and goes hey guys here's the thing man um let's just look at cultures that live a long time and have vibrant you know lives and good lives some of it is like i'd like to look at the blue zones who eat meat and they have a lot of times they eat some form of dairy and they drink and they have good communities they don't retire there's a lot more to longevity and health and living a good life than being a purist for sure whether or not it's in this direction or that direction i think it's all in regard like the it's the result of a real conversation that we really need to have because overpopulation is real the the conversation is really ultimately what is sustainable you know and it's not what

is sustainable right now for your lifespan it's like what is sustainable for the future and should we engineer for a better tomorrow because we already are though aren't we sort of are we're not though people are acting as individuals there's not really a whole lot of engineering in terms of slowing down the rate of childbirth or trying to prevent people from having too many kids trying to prevent overpopulation but a lot of cultures i mean a lot of countries and societies are at zero population some yes but the thing the thing is there's plenty of people that live below the poverty line in terms of like our perception of the poverty line is. And what you're seeing in a lot of these more industrialized nations is as people start developing careers and men and women get careers, you have less childbirth.

You're seeing that in Japan. Japan has apparently an issue with a lack of childbirth. Not as many as they should have. It's not sustainable. That's right. They worry about that with some countries and i've even heard that about the united states that one day it's going to even out and then everyone will have careers and then we'll have less children and then it's a statistical china china is having trouble with having enough uh they have more elderly so they're having trouble get is this crazy but china has is having trouble getting enough people to handle their economy i mean skilled skilled workers which was shocking

to me yeah but there's so many people right yeah so they're importing labor which is like what because they were kept at one child per family and china can do that i didn't i went to beijing and i had to do a retinal scan and they were very specific about they give you a phone and they were like i was shooting a movie they give you a phone you have to use their phone there are firewalls you can't just surf the web and uh they very they very clearly have signs that say any criticism of the government and when you're an actor they say, will not be tolerated. You will be. And then you talk to people that live there, and they say things like, dude, you disappear.

You can just disappear on the street if you're a, you know. So, I don't know, man. What the fuck, man? There's a billion of them. Yeah, I got problems with that. A billion of them, and they're being controlled by this crazy, oppressive government. Oh, it ain't nothing but your regular. I know, but it's weird to see that in 2019, right?

It's weird to see that online. It's become more authoritarian in some ways. Well, I guess their grip is looser, so they're clawing more. They're trying to squeeze harder. If you think about all of human history, this is the way that empires were run, but they weren't run with technology, and they weren't run while the people had access to technology. So the fact they're clamping down on web searches and what sites you can visit.

There's a lot of companies that felt like they had to do business with them, too. I was talking to this lady that worked at Google, and she was saying, look, they're going to copy Google, or we work with them. So this idea of you shouldn't work with them because they're going to censor the people. Like, listen, they're censoring no matter what. But if we don't go over there, they're just going to copy our shit. It's a massive market. Well, the copying thing, the intellectual property thing, they don't give a fuck.

Industrial espionage is huge. It's crazy. Yeah. The Huawei thing. The fucking head of Huawei, his daughter is being held captive in vancouver do you know about that yeah google that the head of huawei huawei has been accused of some crazy backdoor shit they put into routers and they're really worried about their technology getting to this country in the united states has stopped the production of their cell phones in the United States.

Like you have to buy them from somewhere else and bring them in sort of, you know, what's it called? What's it called when it's not connected to someone? Like you buy a cell phone, it's not connected to somebody. You know what I'm calling it? Untethered? No, it's not untethered. It's like that though. Whatever.

I'll remember it. But you could buy one of those on like amazon or one of those tech websites but you can't get it at verizon you can't get at at&t they blocked all that and they're like terrified that this company that has become their number two now they're right behind apple like apple's number one is apple no samsung samsung's number one they're number two and apple's number three so they've passed apple in cell phone production china's always had uh i think had a humility they were humiliated in their past you know by the british by a lot of different you know by the japanese who are behaved atrociously but

you know you know what the opium wars were where where uh the british were traders were bringing in opium from india to china and china developed a major opium from India to China and China developed a major opium problem. So the emperor and the government said, this is a major problem. Guess what, Britain, you can't sell your opium on our docks, you're unloading huge boxes of fucking opium from India. And I know you're making a lot of money. But no, because we have a major addiction problem. Andain said you're interfering with free trade and uh we should be allowed to and china said you're not allowed to and so they went to war and britain won that war and forced china to continue buying opium what

what year was this called the opium wars uh in 1890 fucking and that's why Hong Kong became, that's why the British took Hong Kong and leased it for 100 years. Look at this. Under house arrest in Vancouver, Huawei CFO lives in luxury and spends her days out shopping. There you go.

She's got to wear a GPS monitor. I'll take that fucking life. They make her wear a GPS monitor. She has to stick to her 11 p.m. curfew. So, by the way, she's tired by 11 anyway. So her dad owns Huawei. Is that what it is? Yeah.

Well, she's the CFO also, so I don't know. Bring her up. Is she cute? But doesn't her dad own Huawei? Isn't that what it is? It didn't say that necessarily. She might be. Daughter of billionaire founder.

So she can't. Why is she under house arrest though because they think huawei is doing a bunch of really shifty things well they are the u.s wants to extradite her on the grounds that she tricked banks into potentially violating iran sanctions has sparked an unprecedented diplomatic row yeah they don't give a fuck they're doing business with everybody they're showing up with a briefcase full of cash and some nuclear weapons fuck you and this is what the united states government is worried about like these people becoming the number one technology provider in the world like if they provided all the cell phones that everyone in america uses like what if

like they were close if they came out okay and they got onto the verizon network or the at&t network with some of these phones these phones when you look at the uh the tech people the tech like the the people like uh like unbox therapy and mkbhd those guys who develop these uh youtube videos breaking down the components of cell phones they're always super favorable about these Huawei phones. They have crazy cameras. Some of them have this fucking insane ability to zoom in. Really? Yeah, they use computer learning.

So they're better than the iPhone? The new iPhone is pretty fucking good. But when the latest Huawei Mate Pro, whatever the fuck it was, one of them, their most high-end phone, there was a video of them doing a zoom. And you can't believe how much bigger they can make something that's in the distance and make it look really clear. Damn. And they have image stabilization and crazy. I mean, they're about to come out with a 150 megapixel sensor on a camera that's on the phone.

Jesus Christ. pixel sensor on a camera that's on the phone i mean they're they're and they're going hog wild with technology and providing like the state-of-the-art shit and just a few years ago they were like a non-heard-of brand i mean five six seven years ago you never heard about people talking about huawei now huawei has a direct competitor to the macbook pro where i mean a lot of people think it's the best laptop that you can buy. But in it, it's encrypted. It has a bezel-to-bezel display. Yeah.

And it works on fingerprints. The web camera pops out of a key. Like, you press a key, and it pops up so people can't see you while you're jerking off. If you're one of those guys that worries, the government's watching you, man. I sure am. Well, these Huawei computers, they figured it out. And they basically copied the design of an Apple MacBook, just made it way better.

Yeah, but don't they have, of course, but don't they have encrypted, don't they have built-in spyware stuff? We don't know. Some things, and some things, I don't know. This is what's funny. This is what I like about my argument for the marketplace, because you don't want unchecked capitalism,

but what's great about the marketplace is that you have to allow for for creative destruction that like the the fact that remember that flip a camera all the stuff that we had a gps you had to have a gps you had to have a little camera then you had your phone and you had to allow certain businesses to go out of business to get all that technology into one fucking place which is your phone that we all use and that requires people to, it requires creative destruction. It requires like, you know, people lose, entire businesses fall under, but a new one's born. Imagine if people bailed out all those portable phone businesses.

And that's what would happen. Imagine if the government did that because the market crashed. That's what would happen in a government controlled economy. government did that because the market crashed. That's what would happen in a government-controlled economy. In a socialist economy, I promise you, you would have boards or committees that would

decide whether or not it was fair. A government organization would never allow for that kind of creative destruction. Fucking never. Because you'd have to protect jobs. Hold on a second. No, no, no. But you wouldn't. Not in the situation like with if china with technology they're not like trying to save those stupid phones

like when those phones became irrelevant because the cameras on the phones were better that's because they had to compete when the cameras that's because they had to compete but that technology didn't come out of china it came out of the west and technology yes initially innovation and all the all the innovation everything you see that comes out of apple where you can swipe all that stuff don't forget that's all that's all that came out of the free market that came out of the cutthroat competition oh yeah no you know i'm not but it's fascinating to me that they just take that and do it better of course i mean that's the japanese used to do they would mimic still have they it. Look, that's what Lexus is.

Lexus is them looking at BMW and Mercedes and going, hmm, I see some holes in your game, son. And then they decided to do their own version of it. And here's the thing about those cars versus any other car. They don't break. That's the number one thing, man. Great cars. I've had a Lexus truck. I've had like uh over

the past 15 years i had three of them best car i've had zero problems with any of them ever zero zero they always start they always drive perfect i've had three lexus trucks same thing they're so they're so well engineered they're so well designed there's something about japanese vehicles man i like my tesla though i had no problems with that either yeah i haven't had really anything major i had a like a one little glitch once where the windshield wiper wasn't working correctly but they fixed that quick yeah but that's it other than that you're still driving your tesla it's here bitch yeah drove it here is that your number one car yeah i drive more than anything so easy right it's so easy and it allowed

one of the things i really enjoy is that i have a lot of loud cars i like loud shit yeah but the tesla is silent i know so it makes it i can think so when i drive that i really like driving that with no music on i just like driving it because it's like silent i make my way to the comedy store and i can hear all the sounds around me in a way that i could never hear before yeah you know i mean what I mean? I never noticed that, but I guess that's what I... Yeah, because the car is not... You're interfacing with the world differently. Like, if I'm driving my... Porsche is probably my loudest car.

That GT3, that thing's loud. When I'm driving that, I'm being obnoxious. Oh, it's loud as a GT2, motherfucker. That's pretty loud, too. I don't know. Brendan revved it, and I jumped like a bitch. Like a bark. I went, like that. Because I didn't know. Brendan revved it and I jumped like a bitch. Like a bark. I went like that.

Because I didn't know. I went like my hands went up. I sent him a video that is so ridiculous. It's the GT2 RS, his car, racing against all these exotics, like all these McLarens and Ferraris. He's just burying them over and over again. Oh, yeah. Jesus.

That car is like one of the fastest cars that you can buy. He drives it. You know what I love about Brendan? What? He drives it like it's his number one car.

It's his only car. It's his daily driver. It's his daily driver. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Fucking hilarious. A giant man in that ridiculous Porsche is his daily driver.

You got to love it. You got to love him for it. Oh, yeah. Well, listen, he needs a reason to work so hard. He's in San Diego right now. He's one of those guys he likes to be rewarded. But. Oh, yeah. Well, listen, he needs a reason to work so hard. He's in San Diego right now. He's one of those guys.

He likes to be rewarded. But those, and I do too, those vehicles, like that style of vehicle, it's like you're not doing what everybody else is doing. Everybody else is driving to work. You're on a ride. Yeah. Is that his car? I wish I liked cars that much.

Jesus Christ. Why don't you drive that for a day? You'll like cars that much. Nah. Especially't you drive that for a day you'll like cars that much especially after you get to the doctor too much work gets you some some of that man juice inside your body fucking testosterone you'll get one of those what do you mean too much work what work i don't know man i need to fucking get a car like that i'm gonna get jacked i'm gonna get sick i'm gonna shave my fucking body what about your straight razor i'm manscaping the five i think we're sponsored by manscaped and by the way if you want to see me in person this saturday at the celebrity theater

i'm in arizona and then where am i where am i hey joe where the fuck am i new year's eve where are you new year's eve i'm at the wilbur theater in boston oh shit at the wilbur theater in boston get tickets or fucking die and I got a whole new hour. So if you see me in the past three months, I got all new material. Look at that shit. Ooh, the Wilbur. One of my favorite theaters on earth. Oh, I'm standing like a fucking matador, too.

Shout out to Bill Blumenreich. Yeah, man. That's a great theater. That's the best. I love it. I think we got 400 tickets left, so. Beautiful. Get them.

Get them. The guy who owns it, Bill Blumenreich. I've been friends with that guy for 28 29 years really oh yeah i've known him forever yeah he he booked me back when i was really just getting going he he booked me at his clubs great yeah yeah i've known that guy forever i love that guy you're in friends with him from the beginning of time you're now um you're now selling out to are you how many tickets have you sold at one time the most yeah let me hold on to my hold let me get my hand out my pants the biggest place was with chapelle but that was me and him that doesn't count that was 25 000 that was tacoma fucking god. He broke the record for the Tacoma Dome. Oh, Jesus. It was so ridiculous.

It was fun. That was really fun. But by myself, probably San Diego. That's like 14. That's fucking... Yeah. What's that like? I've done some other ones that are in the neighborhood of that. It's weird.

It is, right? The laughter's rolling. It's so weird. It just seems weird. You're getting out there you're like what in the fuck is going on yeah you know and i always come out to uh ac dc long way to the top if you want to rock and roll you know why song baby this is why man i was at the improv it's a funny story and there was a dude who is the uh um the dj and he and i were standing there and

i was going up a little bit later and there was a girl who was going on I was doing a guest spot who was very new and it wasn't working so well it was rough she was bombing a little bit and I turned to DJ I go it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll and we high-fived and you know I left the room then when I went on stage he played it very smart and we looked at each other I was like ah did he know

it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll it's a great fucking song it's a great fucking song it's a great song it's one of the best road songs ever

god damn I come up to Cashmere by Zeppelin ooh that's good too it just gets me pumped they had so many fucking amazing songs have you heard greta van fleet yes they're sad they're very good they're so good like they they sound so much like zeppelin but i don't mind it's they get away with it because they're so good right

they're like the best tribute band they are man i listen to them and i just i rock out they're fucking really young right i feel like 21 and shit they're babies listen man i'm down for any 21 year old kids that appreciate zeppelin fuck yes man zeppelin's still astonishing oh yeah to me they're the great they might be the greatest you know you got pink floyd you got the beatles you got the stones you got the who but rock and roll in terms of like a group that we still listen to and everything stops, I think it's Zeppelin. Well, they're certainly one of the all-time greats. But it's almost like every different style of music has its appropriate moment where

it hits you perfectly. Yeah. There's a moment where you want to hear Voodoo Child, and it comes on, and you're like, ah. But then there's a moment where sitting on the dock of the bay is the perfect song to hear. They're very different. I like Thank You by Zephyr sometimes. I was at a shitty bowling alley, and Kickstart My Heart came on.

I couldn't have been more happy. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. It depends on your mood. That's a fucking great workout song. But that's the song. If you're at a bowling alley, and Motley Crue Kickstart My Heart comes heart comes on you're like yeah it's like the right song for the moment right but like sarah mclaughlin there you'd be like what are you doing to me what are you doing to me but other times sarah mclaughlin's the perfect song it's the perfect song yeah it's it's all different man

it's all they all have their own little spot in the wave of time. Yeah, they do. They do. They really do. And you never know what you need to hear sometimes until you hear it. Sometimes a song will come on the radio at the perfect time. Like you're listening to Spotify or something like that, and a song comes on just when you needed to hear it. Yep. There's Kickstart My Heart with Sam Kinison. Is that Sam Kinison?

Yes, it is. He was the driver. Wow. That's the downhill moments for Sam Kinison, hanging out with these motherfuckers, doing coke until fucking 7 o'clock in the morning, and then trying to do a show at the comedy store and being half out of it.

Can't do it. That's what ruined him, man. Yeah, it is. His success in partying. I still to this day maintain that the Kinison, between 86 and 88, was probably the best comic that ever lived. He was a monster. Phen ever lived. He was a monster.

Phenomenal. He was a monster. He was making fun of shit that no one had the balls to touch. Yeah. He was crushing things. I'm going to go watch him again. Oh, my God. That year, this is him from the Ronnie Dangerfield comedy special.

Bro, he was a monster. Another head injury victim. Did you know that? Yes, sirree, Bob. Him, like Roseanne barr well no i know they both have died no no no no no he was hit by a car when he was a kid oh yeah his brother bill wrote a book called brother sam and it was uh it's like a story of sam's life it's a really good book if you're a sam kinnison fan i recommend it highly i mean he's brother bill

something he was a strange looking guy is it i think it's called brother sam i think i'm right anyway um in the book he talks about how sam was hit by a car and like really bad when he was a little kid and then after that his personality changed came very impulsive very wild you couldn't control him it's a head injury of course it's the same as roseanne barr the exact same story the same thing she was 15 this is one of the main reasons why i wanted to have her on my podcast after her controversy and have her air this out to people like you guys have to under i love that lady i've known her forever she's a wonderful person and she is a person with like legitimate mental illness she was hit by a car when she was 15 years old a lady couldn't see because the sun was coming in it was hitting her windshield and hit her in the middle of the fucking intersection and sent

her flying she was in a mental institute for nine months after that wow she couldn't count anymore okay she put her in them they put her in a fucking insane asylum okay she's losing her mind she's on a host of different pills and it's one of the reasons why she's such a great comic because she doesn't give a fuck she's brash and she just says things like when they and when she first came out man people don't remember but when i remember when i was a kid and roseanne bar first came out i think it was hbo or one of those comedy specials we got to see her do stand-up you like what is this this is like a new type of lady comedian yeah like how kinnison was a new type of male comedian but it's the same

thing they didn't give a fuck they had head injuries yeah yeah and that's one of the reasons why i wanted to have her on to tell everybody hey you're dealing with someone who's on a host of different medications they fluctuate they go back and. They're always changing her meds, moving her meds around. Plus she takes Ambien. Plus she smokes weed. Plus she drinks. Like, listen. A little compassion. She's a nice lady.

It's what Sapolsky talks about. Like, you don't know what's going on in her brain. If you did, you'd be a lot more sympathetic to somebody who's, you know. He's a huge proponent in the idea of free will

being a farce. Right. It's not real. I know. Sam Harris says that too. Well, the scientists who can look at things from a completely

non-emotional level, I see where they're coming from with that. Well, I do think, sometimes I wonder if we're programmed. I don't know what my motivations are,

what drives me. I know, like I think about, for me, I think about stand-up and how much I love it and so I'm very guarded of my body my body right

like just sometimes i just don't want anything to fuck up so i can keep doing it like the worst thing would happen to me is i couldn't do stand-up you know i think but but is that me is that but i i didn't i just remember loving making people laugh uh there are there are a whole host of personality characteristics that have been there from the start if i think back well it certainly is you it certainly is you and you certainly are responsible for your choices but also you are the victim of your circumstances you're you're the product or the benefactor of all these years of things happening all these different events all the people you know which is one of the big ones.

This is what I concentrate on, I think, more than anything in my life. The quality of the people around you dictates the quality of your life. And this is an equation that people, for whatever reason, don't put down as significant or primary. But the quality of the people that you have in your life is everything. You could be camping, like you and I were in Montana at nine degrees out with a bunch of great guys. We had a good fucking time. We didn't have a house. No, we just stay warm by fire.

But the quality of our life was significant. It was great because the quality of the people that you're around, that's everything, man. People that are worried about money or fame or or credibility or whatever accolades you think you deserve that you're not getting the quality of the people that are around you is everything they drive you they change your opinions they challenge you they show compassion they show they show warmth and camaraderie that allows you to be more comfortable with who you are you open up to each other. I mean, this is everything in this life is community.

And one of the things that's most lost when we're dealing with urbanization and large groups of people, one of the things that's most lost is our sense of community. The more people we have, the less value those people have and the more of a nuisance they become. They're just some fucks ahead of you on the highway.'re not human beings with lives and hopes and wishes they've become a burden they become locusts yeah they're not just a pretty grasshopper they're fucking out of everywhere yeah it's just an overabundance and that's what our problem is and and an overabundance and no quality like no quality in your job choice no quality in the education that's

thrust upon you no quality and the people that you're running into and your relationships that are on pills and are wacky. Distort the truth. They're always a victim. They're never wrong. Or you could be around a bunch of cool people and your life's amazing. That's what's cool about podcasting because at least you can listen to people, you know, positive people. You should start a podcast called Brian Callen is Your Friend. Yes. Hey, kids. here's my tip wasn't that brody's um brody's twitter handle wasn't as brody as me friend yeah i want to start i might start on the wall podcast with uh me me sasso

and uh delia there's a rumor that the 10 minute podcast could start coming why why give it 10 minutes why don't you guys you guys are just getting warmed up with 10 minutes. I know. Just make it hours. I might do a one where we start funny. I don't want to go through the concept. It's too top secret, guys. Why don't you just bring back the one with the three of you guys? Why is that so hard? Maybe that's

in the works, bro. Just go for hours. Maybe that's a big secret. Maybe we're going to unveil it. I don't know yet. I got an idea. What? Why don't you do a podcast with Chris Talia and Will Sasso? unveil it. I don't know yet. I got an idea. What? Why don't you do a podcast with Chris D'Elia and Will Sasso? What? Yeah. You can't take credit for that idea, dude. Hey, it's a good idea, right? You can have it. You don't know if it's in the works or not yet, man. No, no, no. You can have that idea.

Alright, I'll think about it. Now that you mention it, maybe we will. Put me in the credits. Inspired by Joe Rogan. 100%. 100%. We'll bring you in. We'll bring you in. Good luck. Imagine being the kind of person there are people out there that actually want credit for coming up with an idea that they didn't come up with. There are people out there that want like showrunners, right?

That step in after someone's created a pilot and they say, I want created by credit. Seen it. And then I'll run the show. That happens. Oh yeah. That is one of the most bonkers things you ever see in Hollywood. You get a conversation in a goddamn room and then a year later you got this show and that person will show up and sue you. Oh yeah. That is one of the most bonkers things you ever see in Hollywood. You get in a conversation in a goddamn room, and then a year later you got this show, and that person will show up and sue you.

Oh, yeah. And it's happened. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I knew a dude who submitted a script to a major Hollywood production company. They turned him down, and then they went ahead and made the movie. Yeah.

And they made the movie. It was a blockbuster with big time stars. He sued them. He won. He should win. And he got his and made the movie. Yeah. And they made the movie. It was a blockbuster with big time stars. He sued them. He won. He should win. And he got his name on the movie. Well, that's fair because people do that all the time. A lot of times, if you're not a writer and you're an executive,

you're under so much pressure to come up with an idea. Somebody comes up with an idea and you're like, that's a good idea. But I got a better, we could add some shit to it. Right, but you're supposed to have a deal. You're supposed to make a deal. It's called don't take what doesn't belong to you. Don't be a fucking thieving cunt.

Don't be a thieving cunt. The movie was The Expendables. Yeah. It's very easy. The guy was a writer for, he was a student of Eddie Bravo's. Really? Yeah, so I was around when the whole thing was going down. Wow.

We were all like, whoa, they just stole your idea. They just jacked it well speaking of the expendables you know my new favorite person allegedly i should say allegedly to all the things i've just said yeah i don't know if this is true it could have been a big giant lie someone was on adderall and they just started lying to me my favorite one my new favorite person is a guy named sly stallone oh you told me he went to his house for the fights yeah but like I learned some shit about him. Me, David Blaine showed up, and you've got to have him on the podcast.

David Blaine showed up and did magic that makes you. Actually, I don't. How about that? I don't. I could live the rest of my life and not have David Blaine on the podcast. I'm just saying. I'll be fine. I'm just saying. I think he'd be a great guest.

Don't get me wrong. And I think you'd like it. I don't like you telling him what to do. All right, I'm just saying, bro. You have to have him on? What the fuck is that? Look at that picture. I told his daughter to take that what to do. All right, I'm just saying, bro. You have to have him on? What the fuck is that? Look at that picture. I told his daughter to take that picture, and I just got, because I wanted to jump in

while they were all doing that, and it was just me in behind him. How thick is Stallone's hair? That is preposterous. It looks fantastic. How is it still so good? A couple things about Sly you don't know. Number one. How is his hair so good?

Because he's fucking sly. Do you think he has someone who does him up before the picture? He knows you guys are coming over, so he has his hairdresser pluff it all up he's the he shows up like that and just looks you know i like how he's got the jay leno shirt on too great fucking sense of humor oh he does i i interviewed him once for uh spike tv so funny he was hilarious like someone heckled and he goes hey ma oh he's yeah he's got it and on top of that look at you he's I know I'm all excited I'm you think I'm

I'm not cool in that group why does Arnold look so solemn because he was watching a fight he didn't give a fuck about anybody his fight is very important but he's also really cool

when you talk to him I'm sure but me and D'Elia D'Elia goes like this to me we're sitting there with all those legends and D'Elia goes like this he goes

I got weird shit going on in my chest man I feel weird. He didn't know what to do with all this. That's hilarious. Fucking Frank Grillo was so funny. How about that bartender? Like, what about me, man?

Oh my God. He's trying to poke his head over his shoulder. I mean, do you get any more famous? Fuck. Imagine being a fly on that wall. You know what Stallone's really good at? What? Besides horseback riding,

world-class horseback rider. Sucking cock? No, man. I just made that up. No, painting. Oh, I believe that. Me, D' painting oh me me dalia ask me about it me dalia david bland and frank grillo are following him around his house like a cup like beta like like little puppies as he's pointing to his insane paintings that he's made himself oh dude it's

amazing sells him for i won't even go to how much they're i went how much you selling for and the number he gave me i went of course and i looked at frank and i went frank i'm a piece of shit first of all why are you asking him because i asked personal fucking questions because i asked personal questions of you no because i wanted one okay but don't you feel weird saying hey man how much money do you make no i said well i i said i said if i wanted to buy like would you sell these he goes yeah i go can you give me a ballpark figure and the ballpark figure i went oh that's like i'll never be able to buy that but they were so cool sell yourself short you should live your life and your goal should be having enough money so it seems reasonable to buy a stallone painting

that's what i want that should be your your that's why i want to sell out the will for everybody look at those paintings he's a great. That's actually kind of cool. What is that? What's going on back there? I'm telling you. Is that an elephant, a clock? That's a dude's back? What is that?

I don't know, but he's a great painter. This is when I was younger. It's so good. Is that supposed to be him? I looked at Grillo and I got mad. I went, hey, I'm a fucking loser. I got to get myself together. I got to do something else.

Listen, man, the guy does a lot of shit. Did he paint himself? No, I think it's getting mixed in with pictures of him. Oh, pictures guy does a lot of shit. Is that did he take a did he paint himself? Getting mixed in with pictures of him paintings of him. Yeah No, he's look man The guy wrote rocky and then would not accept them having anybody else play the character when he was nobody he's got balls of steel Blaine Blaine took a video of me listening to him as he read the first page of the rocky script in his in his office I wish I wasn't there. I me listening to him as he read the first page of the rocky script in his in his office i wish i wasn't there i would have ran through that wall like the fucking kool-aid man like i can't boom

i can't i gotta get out he told us a story about how joe frazier came in to audition for it for the apollo creed thing and and he said he said you know, you know, we decided to do some boxing just to have him, you know, because there were going to be fight scenes. And he said, I tried. He goes,

Frazier started tapping me in different places. And he literally was just like, what the fuck is going on? It was like getting caught in a buzzsaw. He's like, wait, this is not going to work in a movie. What the fuck are you doing?

And then the same thing with Roberto Duran. You know, he's like, I'll box a little bit. And's like, wait, this is not going to work in a movie. What the fuck are you doing? And then, and the same thing with Roberto Duran. He, you know, he's like, I'll box a little bit. And he said, I started getting hit like in so many different places

that it's, I felt like I was in a washing machine. The way he tells the story is fucking hilarious. Yeah, those guys, they know what,

look at this. This is when I was younger, when I was Rambo. Oh, the best. Look at my fucking hair. With the Italian fucking horn. With the Italian horn. Look at that fucking hair the italian fucking horn with the italian horn look

at that fucking hair and payton yeah he's interesting his daughters are fucking great too he's uh yeah he's a he's a really fascinating guy a very very unusual guy and the thing about him is like he's done so many of these big blockbuster hits that i think people forget that he can actually act if you go back and watch rocky one you go oh like this guy's a really good actor yeah dude he was yes in rocky one man you get to see like who he was you know a young guy well in first blood when he got that script he's the one who said because he was a homicidal maniac the character and he said i he said this isn't gonna work he's got to be a killer but specifically you't going to work. He's got to be a killer,

but specifically, you can't just kill everybody. He's got to have a philosophy behind why he fucking does this. He's got to have a purpose. I love that movie. How great was this movie? That's young, angry, skinny face Stallone.

Look at them cheeks, son. He was 165, I think, when he made that movie. I believe it, yeah. Fascinating character in hollywood i mean you've never had a guy with the longevity that sylvester's 45 years 45 he is still making action movies he's 150 000 years old he's still making action movies and you buy it bill burr was there he's been there the two times i've been there and bill you know bill i bill burr went to

the house yeah he's there every time so bill, so Bill goes, um, I'm listening. I'm standing like a fucking loser. It's Stallone. It's Schwarzenegger. And I think, uh, uh, Pacino and they're talking, it's my childhood. And I'm, I kind of in the, I'm standing in that group sort of cause I'm there and I'm like this and I don't want to say anything. I want to say anything just about something.

Did you want to impress him with some of your esoteric knowledge? So badly. So badly. I wasn't even listening. I was like, what can I say? Hey, you guys ever read

Chomsky? Yeah, Chomsky, whatever. Anyway, like a fucking loser. What's going on here? And Bill Burr walks up behind me. The new rainbow I was just playing. It's his on here? And Pilbara walks up behind me. The new Rainbow is just playing. It's his most recent work. Him riding.

Joey Diaz said that this is Roadhouse on steroids. He goes, Joe Rogan, listen to me. This fucking movie is amazing. I want to see it. It's Roadhouse on steroids. It's fucking incredible. You'll love it. He goes, get high to the fucking gills.

Look at this. What the fuck? Good Lord Rambo, he's got a dick ass. He beats all those guys up? Of course he does. Dude, that's a lot of guns to have to dodge. Shut your fucking mouth. I don't know, bro.

Shut your mouth. I'm a fan, but still. He's drawing a bow back. How realistic is this? Oh, it's 100% realistic. Fuck you, man. All I want to do. Can you even ask?

What do you hate, America? All I want to do is shoot an explosive arrow. Sounds like you love those communists That you were talking about No dude I swear I don't man He booby traps this house And fucks everybody up Chopping them up

Dude you draw first blood In that fucking dude And he'll draw last blood He got real lean A few years back Like crazy lean He was playing this I think he was playing a hitman

And it was actually a pretty fucking good movie an interesting movie like uh like it didn't get enough credit like what was the bullet to the head that's it bullet to the head i see that bullet to the head was a pretty fucking good action movie but oh shit like a but look how lean he got oh he got like like triathlete lean. Not well, more crossfitter. More crossfitter lean. I asked him if he had

any injuries from all the things. He goes to his phone and showed me his spine and all the operations. I mean, he's been through it.

I got fucking bolts on my neck like Frankenstein. Is that Jason Momoa? I think it is. I hope it is. Hey, I'm watching this

fucking movie as soon as I get home. Yeah, of course. Who else is allowed to be that big and handsome? Dude jason momo jason momo is the best looking man on the planet i think yeah i think he is in this movie i want to look like that but yeah this just was not that long ago but it was a good movie like a good solid you know action movie yeah i enjoyed it i enjoyed it like i'm a stallone fan i've been watching that guy's movies forever but

what i liked about this it's a walter hill. But what I liked about this, it's a Walter Hill film, too. What I liked about this movie was, I mean, not just liked about it, but that Stallone got super crazy lean. He looked like he was only 170 pounds. Schlater. There you go, buddy. Full star cast. Bill Burr walks up to me right behind me as I'm listening to these guys trying to get into the conversation.

It's the Ludo's. And he goes like this. He goes, hey, you've been here for an hour already. Get over it. He just keeps walking. Bill's the best. Bill told me that he's fucking, he's going to start working out.

He called me up. He goes, hey, dude, you fell out of medium sweater. You look good. I'm coming for that title, you piece of shit. And just hung up. He can never say anything nice he goes i said we came off stage one time at the comics tour uh i mean the last factor he's so funny and so good and i go i think you're the best right now period i

love you i think you're the best and i had to say it and i'm a professional comic and i'm pretty funny myself and i'm saying it from you and if i'm saying it i'm right so that's how it is and I walked away from him get a message he goes hey Bri I gotta tell you the shit you were doing was killing me I loved it coming from you that meant a lot to me I just want to thank you because I've been you know I had this fucking gig didn't go well it was just tough for me but just hearing that from you was fucking because you're hilarious I love you thank you and go fuck yourself though because I can't be nice for too long. I saved the message for a long time. He's a fucking character, man.

Oh, God. There's so many good comics right now. It's such a good time. Hell yeah. We're lucky as fuck. And we're all friends. Yeah, that's what's interesting, right?

Yeah, man. You know, in those Kinnison days we were talking about like Dice and Kinnison fucking hated each other, man. Yeah, there's none of that shit. There's a bullet hole in the sign

in the back parking lot because Kinnison pulled out a gun and shot the fucking sign scared dice off jesus christ that's that's impulsive that fucking sign had a hole in it forever i remember and they they fixed the glass part i'm like why would you fix it it's crazy don't fix it i know that crack is magical man that's where kinnison shot through. That's part of the fun. I agree. I think the bullet hole's still in the back, though. You still feel the bullet hole.

The podcasting, and probably yours for the most part, has changed. There it is. There's the hole. Look at that. I remember it so well. The fucking Kinnison bullet hole, son. Damn. That's head injuries, kid.

Yeah. I know all about that stuff. Carrying a gun. That's what made him a great... It's almost like you have to be sick in the head to be that funny. I know all about that stuff. Carrying a gun. That's what made him a great... It's almost like you have to be sick in the head to be that funny. I know. I'm going to get into shooting, by the way. I saw you were at that.

Come. I want to do that for real. Okay, let's go next week. First of all, I need to learn how to shoot with both my eyes open. I'll take you. Because I got to get ready for the apocalypse. Dude, it's fun. Bang.

I'll take you down to Taron Tactical. We'll go through a course. I box. I do jujitsu. I take testosterone. You're an animal. I fucking shoot guns. Oh, my God.

You're crazy. I'm a fucking man. Hey, how long do you think you can hang from a chin-up bar? We're going to go try. How long do you think you can? I'm going to say, because I don't practice it, I'm going to say no more than a minute, but I'm going to try. Really?

A minute? I don't know. Are you skeptical? Remember, I can do a lot of pull-ups. No, I can do more than a minute but i'm going to try really a minute i don't know you don't are you skeptical remember i could do a lot of pull-ups no i can do more than a minute i do two minutes and 15 seconds that's a long fucking time you've been practicing it don't tell me otherwise i've been dedicated okay over the last two months all right so now i'm gonna do it i usually was doing a couple minutes a day but i was breaking it up into like 30 second chunks or maybe i'd go a minute and then I decided about two months ago To see how long I could hold on for

It's good for your shoulders I say What helps me is if I hold on for like 15-20 seconds And I rest for a long time And then I go back and do it I could do it a lot longer So I should warm up for it Yeah Okay let me ask you this

And I powder my hands too I chalk my hands up That's big too I'm doing that too Because your hands get sweaty And then it fucks with your grip Let me ask you this. And I powder my hands, too. I chalk my hands up. That's big, too. I'm doing that, too. Because your hands get sweaty, and then it fucks with your grip. Let me ask you this. When you hang, do you have tension, or are you totally loose? Totally loose.

You are? Yes, but one trick that I do when I start getting really tired is I tense up. Yes. So I squeeze the bar harder, and I start doing these. Right. I go up, and then let down. I go up, and then let down. It's almost like it's distracting me from the fact that my hands are burning out.

And I feel like it also engages maybe almost like a different way of holding it that gives you a little bit of a break. Not much of a break. You're still hanging on. There goes the podcast because all I'm thinking about now is doing that. Yeah. I worked out today with him. Here's the thing. It's made my hands thicker.

It's harder for me to get my wedding ring off because my fingers are actually getting thicker. I worked out with my friend Rudy Reyes. Do you know who that is? No, I don't. Bring up Rudy Reyes. What did he do to you, bro? Don't worry about it. Let's take a look at his body for a second. He's 48 years old. Please understand what he's about. Did he make you get pumped? We worked kettlebells, bro. And we did

some body weight. Oh, you told me that this is like the first time you've ever really worked kettlebells, right? Yes, sir. It's amazing, isn't it? It's what's up. Fuck. It's what I love. Well, this is the second time. And I was so, so, so sore.

It really, for me, is the best thing that translates into jujitsu. There's something about like, if you have like a 50 or 70 pound kettlebell and you're cleaning and pressing it and do windmills and all that, that to me is like, that really works for jujitsu. That's not a good, like, that really works for jiu-jitsu. That's not a good job. You've got to see him now. What are you talking about? I don't want him to look better than that.

No, he couldn't be better looking. I don't like it. Look at him there. I'm uncomfortable. You've got to have him with his beard. That's my boy right there. He's getting weird. Recon Marine.

Jesus. Yeah, yeah. He's kind of fat. No, his body's so stupid. He's a little fat. You've got to see the chest. Let's get him naked. Look at his shoulder. Stop right there. Pause. No, his body's so stupid. A little fat. You got to see the chest. Let's get him naked. Look at his shoulder.

Stop right there. Pause. Like, back up a little bit. Look at the striations in his shoulder. That dude is like 4% body fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's stupid. Let's go ahead and get him naked, bro.

What, he can't get down to two? I've never seen a body like this. It's me and Stevie Blue Eyes, everybody else, we're always like, well, that's who I want to look like. You want to see it naked? No, I didn't say that out loud. Is it on his Instagram? Does he take thirst pics?

Yeah. Let's see the first one. Is that Chito Santino and him at the top? No. Look at you guys together. Go over. I don't like how he's hugging you. I'm getting jealous.

I don't like that picture. Go to that picture again with him and you together. Look at that. I don't like how he's hugging me. Look at me. I look like a fucking old nurse. I don't like how he's hugging you. He's hugging you like he's going to take you down a butt.

Fuck you. He will. Seems like he's going to. I was there with a bunch of- If I guessed, I would think this kept going. You'd have a look on your face of shock, and then his wrist would be cinched tighter in your waist, and then next thing you see, one of your legs is up in the air. Oh, there you go.

Do the kung fu thing. The one on the right of that? Yeah, for no reason. Let's see. He's doing kung fu with bands. Just for the fuck fu thing. The one on the right of that? Yeah, for no reason. Oh. Let's see. Oh, dude. He's doing kung fu with bands. Just for the fuck of it. If he started a cult, you know how many chicks he could bang?

Oh, dude. With that body? That's what he looks like. If that guy was like with wooden beads on, teaching people how to meditate, just slinging dick in a jungle somewhere. Yes. Right? He pulls up to the class in a canoe and all the girls are waiting for him with beads on.

Like, class, let's begin. Yep. We begin with breathing. He wears scarves. The only guy, he's more muscular than Frank Grillo. He's sexier than Frank Grillo, which is impossible to pull off. The tights are suspect. Yeah, I know.

I'm not liking the tights. I'll wear them. It just seems weird. Like, why do you have tights on in your shirt? I don't know, dude, but it doesn't matter because he's Rudy Re reyes and i'm doing that it's not a choice so not a choice for a grown man is not in a yoga class well what are you doing are you a gymnast huh yeah maybe he does all that shit he does rings he does all that shit jesus we gotta get serious bro about what i don't know everything you know it's fucking pathetic at 52 still talking about working out still trying to get

better and stronger i disagree i can't wait to go on testosterone listen i enjoy everything that i do i enjoy every part of like being a man i do it's fun i know it's fun so if it keeps going why is that weird i like it i liked it when i was 30 i like it now but i want the david sinclair drugs i want to be fucking... You got to get some. I want to figure out how to have the wind of a 30-year-old. My body's betraying me.

Whitney told me she started taking NAD. She's been taking NAD injections. Jim, you think there's a place that hooks that up, right? What is NAD? That's a good question.

I'd butcher it. But you can take it in pill form too, which I've been doing. Oh, you have? Yes. Oh, is that what he was talking about, Sinclair? Yeah, yeah, yeah have? Yes. Oh, is that what he was talking about,

Sinclair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of other stuff that people are taking, though, that actually, it supposedly maybe increases your lifespan,

but decreases performance. That's that metformin stuff. Oh, yeah, that's it. Yeah, that is, there's a lot of controversy with that. Like, as soon as we did that podcast, people that I know that are more into

the performance side of athletics and nutrition and well-being they're like yeah that stuff is not really i talked to my doctor about it he said you're you know your blood work doesn't look like you would need it nicotinamide adenine adenine dionucleotide wow say the first word. Nicotinamide. Nicotinamide. Nicotinamide. Nicotinamide.

Adenine. Adenine. Adenine. Dianucleotide. Yeah. There's a problem with being a doctor and a scientist. You have to remember all that fucking Latin. Why is that?

It may slow or even reverse the aging process. What does it say, Jamie? Put it back up. Reverse the aspects of aging. Also delay the progression of age-related diseases. Holla at your boy. If Whitney goes back in time starts looking like she's 20 you know it works she looks pretty damn good she's pretty good yeah she's doing it every day too i love whitney she's awesome i fucking love her it's one of the smartest people i know i just love her i'm on the most well

read like she's always bringing up some books she read she's awesome yeah she's she's always uh curious about shit it's uh that's so important in this life it's just a constantly but when you would you stop being curious about things just kind of go i know she fucking shoots me when i don't realize i'm being shot like she'll she's videotaping me when i'm doing my usual silly shit in the green room but i don't and i'm just like the other day i was coming in and i was and i was I was like, the thing is I shoot guns down and then, and I'm doing this fucking weird acting like a complete idiot and she's videotaping the whole fucking thing and it puts it on a story. I'm like, Whitney, when are we going hunting?

Why don't you take me hunting? Well, because you're not really fully committed. Bullshit. I make, I'm there. Bullshit. I'm there. Number one, I'm dead eye. Number two, I make you laugh. Number three, I game eye. I'm 100% down to go hunting with you.

You don't have to convince me. But the difference is I do it for all my meat now, and I bow hunt. I need meat too, bro. Listen, we started out together, Brian, in 2012. We hunted together for the first time. Okay. And you went one way, and I went another way. You went the bow and arrow way, and you bought me a bow.

I do it all the time. How about this? Remember this? I didn't buy you a bow. Hoyt paid for that bow. Hoyt got you that bow. I thought you got it. No, I organized it.

I had it sent to you. I've never shot it. You should have shot it. It's old now. I've got to bring it here. You've got to get a new one. My dad was like, you and Joe Roggan look very similar like brothers well we basically are well we were in wikipedia for most of our lives i know until somebody figured it out

it said half brother to brian cowan on my wikipedia bio forever and people always say your brother's a good guy yep thanks yeah well we always talk about this, but the moment we met, we're like, oh, fellow idiot. I know. How are you, traveler? The greatest. It's the greatest. Oh, yeah. I got to do it all.

I got to do jiu-jitsu, boxing. If I don't, I'll end up in jail. I was like, well, that sounds like my kind of guy. Both dummies. We both had pit bulls. We were both dummies. Oh, my God. Super duper dummies.

You picked me up so early in the morning. I was like, I want a dog just out of the box. Dude, I look good with a beard. Look at that. That's turkey hunting. Turkey hunting is fun because it's like, I swear to God, there's a feeling that you get when you kill an animal that's not a happy feeling. I agree.

There's a remorse that is engulfing the happiness. There's happiness, but there's also a remorse. I get serious. I get sad. There's no remorse when you blast a turkey. I'm here to tell you. I shot a turkey in the head. I felt nothing.

Not only that, I put it on Instagram. Nobody gave a fuck. I was holding that turkey up by its feet. I'm like, shot a turkey. Nobody cared. I know. No vegans care about turkeys. They should die.

And if you're around them You care about them even less Well everything wants to kill a turkey To the point where you have to cover your face Because otherwise they're like And they run away Look at the size of the one Steve got That's a big turkey That's what I call a big fucking Tom

Yeah That's a big ass turkey man I love using I love using Hunting Terminology Around hunters So they think I'm a

More seasoned hunter Than I really am they're a cool animal turkey's a cool animal man it really is really yeah it's it's interesting it's a it's a bird that kind of flies but doesn't yeah it'd be the last bird i would choose to be they go up in a tree yeah but that's about it they can just barely make it to a tree don't worry about coyotes foxes everything you got. You gotta worry about everything. Everything wants to eat you. Everything. Probably other birds. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, dude, my kids found

in my neighborhood, they found a fucking... My son goes, Daddy, there's a bird that's dead. And I go there, and it was a dove with no head, and its chest had been eaten out, clearly by a bird of prey. Yeah, or an owl.

We have a big owl in the neighborhood. Owls don't fuck around. I had an owl that was killing hawks in my neighborhood. What? Yeah, these hawks were all beheaded. And this owl just decided to start fucking up these hawks. There is one of the best videos that I've ever seen online of animal interactions

where an owl swoops down and snatches a hawk out of its nest. Have you ever seen online of animal interactions where an owl swoops down and snatches a hawk out of its nest. Have you ever seen that? Yeah, they got a camera on this nest of hawks. So they kill hawks. They kill whatever the fuck they want. Give a hoot, don't pollute.

Listen, that thing's a ruthless fucking killer. Kill cats, too. They kill everything. Cats, rabbits. One of them, I was driving down the street to my house and I was driving and this owl was flying over the street holding a rabbit.

And he just decided I was getting too close to him, so he just let the rabbit go and splat. So I got out of the car to look at the rabbit, just disemboweled rabbit. Just tore this fucking thing apart. But this video, it was on my Instagram. It's night vision. And you see these hawks just hanging out in the nest like oh well I guess we're looking at this guess. We'll just be here for the night. No look at the eyes look at the eyes Look at the eyes. I didn't know this

The other ones like hey What the fuck happened what the fuck happened one more time watch look at the eyes look at the eyes See the eyes. Look at the eyes in the distance. Look at how quick. See the eyes? Look at that. Here it comes. Bitch. I love that video. It says owl attacks hawk. You can find the video online on YouTube.

Enjoy. Owl attacks hawk. And you can find me at the Wilbur Theater. Oh, are you doing comedy on New Year's Eve at the Wilbur Theater in Boston? No, dude, I don't want to talk about that. But I mean, I'll be, if you're in. Do you have a whole new hour? I do have a whole new hour. Wait a minute.

I know. So you're going to do comedy on New Year's Eve in Boston? At the Wilbur. Oh my goodness, people. And I'll be there. I'll be in Arizona this Saturday at the Celebrity Theater if you want to come by. I love the Celebrity Theater. It's in the round.

Yeah. That's a great place. I'm excited. That spins too a little bit, right? I didn't know that. I think it does a slow spin. I got to be ready. I think you can turn it on or off.

I think it's up to you. All right. Yeah. I'm pretty sure the Celebrity Theater spins. All right. Find out if that's true. George Lopez did a special. No, no.

Louis C.K. did a special there. I think Lopez might have done something there too, but that's a great theater. It's cool. It's intimate. It's intimate. Even though it's like a couple thousand people. There it is. There it is. Get the fuck out of here. See, I think that thing rotates. Oh, that's's cool. It's intimate. Even though it's like a couple thousand people. There it is. There it is.

Get the fuck out of here. See, I think that thing rotates. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah, I think that thing rotates. John Holgrim, he's that radio guy. He's a great guy. It's his happy endings thing. That's the first place I ever met Segura.

Really? Yeah, I worked with Segura on the, there was a tour I did with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron, And we had a different Local guy open up In every place And Segura opened up there That's how I became Buddies with him

Wow Yeah Funny man He's the best There it is Brian Cowan's in Phoenix Look at that right there Frank Caliendo

And Adam Ray That's right That's a crazy lineup Uh huh Are you gonna spin it If they let you spin it Find out if that thing spins Look at this Look at this Look at this Chris D'Elia goes Hey everyone Don't go to this Line up. Uh-huh. Are you going to spin it if they let you spin it? Find out if that thing spins.

Look at this. Look at this. Chris D'Elia goes, hey, everyone, don't go to this. It's such a dick. He said the first fucking thing on my thing. Hey, everyone, don't go to this. Your fake feud with him is very strange. So much fun. You guys make videos about each other.

He did the podcast yesterday. It was the funniest thing in the world and the most insulting. One time we were doing the podcast and he was just lying there. And I go, be respectful and sit the fuck up. And I started talking and he just got up and he slapped me in my mouth. And I was like, I'll fucking kill you. And I came at him and he started going, tried to kiss me. It was like kryptonite.

Yeah, he's a weirdo. Yeah. A weirdo. He's from outer space. Yeah.'s a weirdo yeah weirdo he's from outer space yeah me and will sass always say he's from outer space there it is look look wow he smacked you right in the face funny motherfucker man hilarious and a great guy too just just a good dude i like being around him it's fun yeah these are my inner circle well we're all weirdos right he's just he's a weirdo weirdo you see you reminded me of what misfits we are because i i wanted to do this idea where i was like um i was gonna do this thing for on it where we're gonna come up with ways funny ways to sell

product thought it'd be a good way to recruit some comics and get them a job sit around a table and create like a marketing thing. And none of them. Like two of them got back to me. Everybody else is like, sorry, I didn't have time. They're just fucking misfits. Misfits. Like you can make real money, you fucking idiot.

Nah. Too tired. Too tired. Too high. Gotta get up. Too high. Gotta show at the Laugh Factory in two hours. Fuck off. Can't make it.

That's why you're funny. That's why you're funny. All right. Yeah, that's a lot of them. Yeah. A lot of people are funny because of the fact that they you know they're impulsive they don't have discipline and they just yeah that's part of what makes them funny is that self-loathing they're also wild they're wild people they're not good at like being disciplined

and rigid and on a schedule that they create themselves like can't like yourself i would tell you that my acting i was was in Jeffrey Tambor's class and doing an acting thing and Jeffrey Tambor looked at me and goes, you got a little self-esteem problem, huh? Feel like your second banana in general in life? And some guy goes, thank God. And everybody looks up at him and he goes,

well, he wouldn't be funny if he didn't hate himself, so I'll take him this way. Never forgot it. I was like, yeah, all right. That's hilarious. Yeah. I don't know if you have to like yourself that much. I think you should always be a little dissatisfied with yourself.

It works for me. Yeah. I don't think you should be satisfied very often if you want to be good at anything. I'm fulfilled. You're on a path, right? You're on an improvement and growth path. You're trying to get better. Whatever it is.

It's tennis, right? You're trying to get better at it all the time. If you want to get better at it all the time, you've got to be scrutinizing. You can't be happy about certain moments where you were really good and think that's you. You've got to be thinking about the things that didn't go good and go, I've got to fix that part. There's that famous story, whether it's true or not, but I think it is.

Rafael Nadal had just won Wimbledon, one of the greatest of all time. Have you ever seen him play? His athleticism, his power. He hits the ball so hard that the ball, I can't remember if this is, the ball revolves twice as fast. It makes 20 as many revolutions as the average high-level tennis player. That's how hard, that's how much spin it is. Like it's 80 versus 40 or something.

And he got up and he just won Wimbledon. Ah, it's amazing. And he's back in the locker room going, I know, I just, I don't know if my grip should have been a little bit. I feel like I'm going to change. It's still adjusting after he won. You have to be. That's how you get to be that guy. Yes.

And as soon as you get to be that guy and you go, oh, I got it, then you're going to fall off. You're done. That happens to everybody. Don't you feel stand-ups that way too, though? 100%. Well, we were talking about with way too, though? A hundred percent. You know? Well, we were talking about with Kinison, right? Yeah.

You know, Kinison, when he was on fire, he was longing for acceptance and longing for respect and attention. And he was going to take it! Yeah. He just went out there fucking guns blazing like an animal. But then once he got it, he's partying with Bon Jovi and Motley Crue and they're doing blow and fucking on the tour bus and, you, and drinking vodka until 5 in the morning. All that chaos, it stops being the same thing.

Life is now you're celebrating the fact that you're the shit instead of you're desperate to make the best work you can make. Desperate to work. I talked to this, I won't say his name, but a famous rock and roller who made a uh what's elton john but may as well be but the guy jagger he made it he made a he made a seminal album like an album that's a classic album and i said what do you think it was he goes i was just so desperate to be heard i was desperate to be heard and then you get older and you get rich and you kind of prove that you can do it and you lose bob dylan talks about that he goes i don't know who wrote those songs like i don't i don't remember like they said they read his lyrics back and he said isn't that something yeah like who did that

not me i don't know i can't do that anymore that's a that's a that's a fear of mine i want to be i want to stay hungry and well with stand-up the difference is you can't just go back and redo your old songs no you have to constantly be relevant you have to have stuff that works right now and the people can't have heard it too many times it's not like songs like i still want to hear like if you went to see the rolling stones you'd want to hear brown sugar yeah you'd want to hear it yeah and there's like there's songs that are just iconic and they give you a good feeling when you hear them yep not jokes no man jokes i appreciate old comedy like i go back and watch it with a like an like an like i'm watching art or something like that i'm watching someone's work

and i can appreciate it but i don't appreciate it from like the feeling that you get when you see it the first time and you laugh and you're surprised and you know the punch lines come out you're like i was i was surprised that bill cosby had only done one album what yeah one or two albums i was really shocked at that i was like i thought he'd done like 14 or so is that true yeah did mostly what he did was uh videos i guess i don't know he was just didn't he have like albums of his videos though i don't know really is that looked it up and i was like i thought he'd done like 14 or 15 albums he found a lot how many no no i mean there's i mean i just typed in bill cosby albums he's got three separate vinyls. So three albums, three vinyls, and some other stuff?

1963, 77, 2004, 70, 71, 67, 68, 76. All right, so much for that. Oh, he had a lot. Whoops. Me and Shob looked it up, and we're like, we only find... Well, you guys are morons, and you don't know the Google. Jamie's a wizard. Jamie, you're good.

Hey, fucking Chin, get it together. It's called the type Cosby correctly. Hey, Chin, get it the fucking getter. It was like one. You guys didn't even type Cosby correctly Hey Chin Get it the fucking Get it It was like one You guys didn't even Type Cosby right God damn it Bill Burr and I

Were supposed to go see him Before the scandal hit We were supposed to go see him And we were going to make a trip To go see him in Vegas And I think Bill Bill wound up seeing him Another time

Oh look at this Hold on Come on Hey man That's what I thought That's what I said 20 albums I said and then I I got That's what I said. 20 albums. I said, and then I got...

He's got music albums, dude. He's got one, two... Stop, stop, stop, stop. He's got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... What? That's like 17 music albums. No. That he sings?

This is crazy. Look at all these music albums. 20-ish. He had marching band... Bro. ...concerts. He had music albums. So 12 albums.

More than that. Wait, no, we have way more, man. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. You couldn't have been more wrong, and yet you stated it so confidently. 21. Chin, you're fired. God damn it, because I said this, and then we'd only find one, and I was so embarrassed. I'm rarely going to embarrass myself.

Well, now you're embarrassed again. That's what's really a shame. No, I was right. No, because I was right the first time. I said, fuck off. Edit that out. Edit all that out. I see what you did. I see what you did. He's got a bunch of Grammys, too. Yeah. You get to keep those. Even after you're in jail for rape? Oh, yeah. Sure.

Only person ever, like, OJ was supposed to lose his Heisman and they can't find it, I think? Oh, that's right. He's like, hmm, hmm can't find it i don't know where it went hey twitter world can't find my heisman yeah his his twitter feed is so bizarre yeah watching because he does it different than anybody everything is hey twitter world and everything is about football it's like it's all about like what this guy needs to do and obviously he knows a lot about football he's a fucking world-class player one of the best of all time but in the in the comments are where the real show is the comments is all knife emojis and you really killed that one oj

and it's like everyone takes their own crack at him in the comments. God damn. What's he doing now? I wonder if he's playing golf. Selling merch. Oh, my God. Selling merch. There should be a hidden knife in there somewhere. You know, like an angle where Sierra's legs are crossed. There should be something at the bottom.

If you look at the silhouette, it looks like a knife. Hey, Twitter world, look at this. Holiday juice or something. Yeah, that is crazy. I wonder if he makes money. He's going to sell out. Well, I don this. Holiday juice or something. Yeah, that is crazy. I wonder if he makes money. He's going to sell out. Well, I don't think he can spend it. What do you mean? He owes the Goldmans a large sum of money from a civil case.

They can't get the money out of his pension because he's got an NFL pension. That's one of the reasons I think why he moved to Florida. Florida has certain laws that protect you. Now he's in Nevada NFL pension. That's one of the reasons I think my move to Florida, like Florida has certain laws that protect you. Now he's in Nevada, I think. There's places that have different laws to protect you from lawsuits where your pension is protected. You never have to worry about being broke because of a lawsuit.

He's paid a serious price for all that. Two people are dead, Brian. I don't think it's that serious. He's out there playing golf and going hey twitter world yeah and he wasn't really even charged with that he was charged with kidnapping yeah what's funny is that he's allowed to be on twitter whereas like think about some of the people that have been banned for twitter for saying things like a woman is never a man or a man is never a woman like you get that's that. That's amazing to me. Dead naming.

If you call Caitlyn Jenner, Bruce Jenner, that's dead naming Caitlyn, and then you are banned for life from Twitter. Is that really true? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Where did this all come from? Where were that hyper vision? It's what we were talking about earlier with people getting mad at someone

for saying Merry Christmas. But you had Jack Dorsey on. It's the exact same thing. Jack Dorsey does not want this. Jack Dorsey is calling for some sort of a decentralized version of Twitter. Yeah. He was talking about it when he was here, like having a Wild West Twitter where everything goes.

Yeah. And I think he's right. And Jack is a very internet-minded guy. Here's the thing you have to understand when you're talking about being the CEO of something that is literally responsible for billions of pieces of information every single day. He doesn't control everything. He's managing at scale.

He's the CEO of a company that he's under pressure to make more profit. It's not as simple as anybody would like to think. And it's not like he can say, hey, I think no one should ever be banned. And he can just go ahead and do that. He doesn't have the power to do that. He has the power to suggest it. He has the power to give his opinion. There's a lot of moving pieces.

Of course. A lot of moving pieces. How does he make money? How does Twitter make money? That's a good question. I don't know. How do you scale that? I worry very little.

I don't think about it. I kind of like it. I want it to stay around. I think it's kind of interesting. But I'm 100% convinced that with the implementation of AR, augmented reality, whether it's through Apple or someone's going to have glasses, I think anything we're doing now is literally like the MySpace of the future in terms of technological interaction. I think the stuff we're doing right now is all like MySpace. It's not going to be here.

So what do you think we're going to be doing? I think we're going to be doing something with AR. We're going to be interacting with each other in some sort of a weird way. AR. AR, augmented reality. So what do you think we're going to be doing? I think we're going to be doing something with AR. We're going to be interacting with each other in some sort of a weird way. AR. Augmented reality. So what is that? Glasses, like minority report type shit. Yeah.

We're going to have glasses. We're going to have things in front of you. You can access menus and pull downs. You can make gestures and you can say things. It'll Google things in front of your eyes. You're going to be able to, you know, here's a real thing. People are going to, this is something that I think was in a movie but it's probably would work that people would have a social score that you would see when you're coming near them yeah like a cursor that's

very scary right you know how like you go on a link and there's like a bunch of restaurants and you could put the cursor over it and a little yelp box pops up and it says it has four stars and 400 reviews. And you can get like that pops up. That could be you. It could pop up like the kid, 52 years old, still fucks like a teenager. And it'll say. Thank you. And people could walk by and go, hmm, interesting.

On TRT. He's a bit of a Peter Pan, is he? You know what I mean? You already had that with Uber. Uber can see how you're rated by the drivers. Oh, that's interesting. So in a way, it's interesting because it's making us, you can't hide behind, like assholes are getting exposed. It's making us more nicer to each other, but it's also a form of, it's kind of a prison.

You've got to always behave. Everybody's watching everything you do. Now, well, this is the new world. And we have to adjust to this new world. Because in the future, there will be no barriers between people and information. Right. Those barriers are dissolving in front of our eyes. And people are scrambling to try to accept it or not accept it or fight against it or keep up.

But it is. It is. It's not. You can up. But it is. It is. It's not, you can't deny what it is. It is. It is real. It's happening. And it's going to keep happening. It's going to keep getting weirder.

Like we didn't see Twitter coming. We didn't see the internet coming. We didn't see cell phone implementation on a global scale coming. Nobody ever thought you were going to carry a phone with you everywhere you go 30 years ago. That was never even the concept. So you got 30 years, which is a blink of an eye in human history. 30 years later, everyone's got a goddamn phone.

They are literally everywhere. 30 years from now, it's probably going to become some next level shit. Well, it'll be part of our body. We're not going to carry our phone around. But also,

I think it's interesting because it'll almost be like if everybody was naked all the time, nudity would be no big deal. Unless you have a little tiny dick. Until you have

a little tiny dick and that would be, and even. Unless you have a little tiny dick. Until you have a little tiny dick and that would be, and even then you'd find your niche. Would you really? Well. I always say, like, even if you have a little tiny dick,

a lot of lesbians get hot girls. Yeah, man. You could just find a- There are girls that don't care. There are girls that don't want to deal with my nine inch piece. You know what I'm saying? Nine?

I know. And my personality and my money. If you're into that, I'm your guy. Is it like a snake? That that's what the media says i'm not going to describe my piece attack i mean it's it's he's got he's got lungs you can see him breathe and he's got a crook so i can fuck around corners you should get it painted like an anaconda i'd love to man imagine if you get your dick tattooed like an anaconda. Oh, Joe Rogan experience. Does anybody get their dick tattooed? Of course.

I know people have, but has anybody had a really good one done? What would I do, though? The American flag? I don't know what I'd fucking. Whenever anyone gets their dick tattooed, it's always like a fucking dragon or something like that. Oh, is that Joe? The ears are here where my balls are, but the dragon, the tip of the nose is red. You want something that says that joke where when it's soft it says tiny

and when it's hard it says Ticonderoga, New York. Yes, exactly. I didn't think that idea. There's a – It expands. That's the future. You know, tattoos on your face weren't around back in the day. Nobody had fucking Post Malone.

Post Malone in the 1970s, they'd just lock him in jail. Something wrong with this kid. Fuck. Why are you drawing on your face? Still the dumbest, craziest shit I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, always tired on his face. I know. Great musician, though.

Yep. Really talented guy, but like, hey, cut that out. But my point is, that didn't exist in the 1960s, right? Yeah. What about dick tattoos? What if that becomes a norm? What if a girl takes your pants down in the future and just like, you don't even have your dick tattooed up? Well, what if that becomes a norm? What if a girl, like, takes your pants down in the future and just, like, you don't even have your dick tattooed up?

Well, I thought for a while. First of all, I'll tell you what, it has changed. I think young men, manscape, they shave all the hair off there. Is that guy real? I typed in face tattoos in 1960s. I just saw one come up. This one comes up. Well, that's crazy.

He's got, like, birds on his forehead and a Jesus on his forehead. Is that real though? Probably. I mean, for sure somebody did it. But it's never been as common as it is now, particularly for show business. Imagine if like Fred Astaire had face tattoos. You know? That girl, what's she got on her cheek there, man?

Harry Styles. No, that's not real though. No, she doesn't. It wasn't real. It's not real. How do you know? It was a viral story a couple months ago. Oh, it is fake?

Yeah. Oh, it's a drawing? Even though if it's a drawing, who cares? It's still crazy that she let a guy draw on her face. Honey, that's your cheek. Don't tolerate that kind of shit in your life. Well, there's a lot of people getting face tattoos now. When the game was posting pictures of his huge dick in underwear,

you ever see that? We talked about another dude's giant dick in underwear. They had to take it out of Cats apparently in some way. His hog? Because it's that big? We'll take a look at this. It's not the game. We're talking about somebody else. The guy in Cats that was on Instagram.

He had a giant piece on him. Instagram took the photo down because they're like, this is too sensitive. Because he's just got a giant hog in his underwear. In black underwear, by the way. There it is right there.

Look at that piece. That's a dick. Hold on. Here's the thing. Congratulations, first of all. That dude was playing with himself before that. Probably. 100%.

Come on, man. I'm not hating it. Listen, man, put in work and put in work now um but uh the the the game has a giant dick as well have you seen the video have you seen the picture you posted no i try to avoid pictures well i think it's important right now thing to look at that's not that's fake news what you go to all the time fake fucking news dude that's your go-to thing all right that's your opinion. There you go.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's outrageous. She does it a lot. I thought men are going to start doing this now. Jesus. How many pictures of his hog does he have? I don't know, but it said something hilarious.

He goes, Jesus Christ. Is that real? Yeah. That would be real. Well, listen, if I had a dick that big, I'd let everybody know, too. I mean, he's grabbing his dick. Bro, that dick is pretty preposterous. Yeah.

That's preposterous. Yeah. So there you go. That's his dick. What in the hell? There's hashtags for it and shit, too. Yeah. Crazy, like something about, it was really funny, though.

He said something about Halloween. Don't just be afraid of this dick. Don't worry about ghosts. Some shit, be afraid of this dick. Is that what it says? Yes. I feel like we might have read this. We have.

Get dick and chill. Now I remember. That's right. Now I remember. By the way, congratulations to him. That was true, but that one almost doesn't even look real. Oh, that would be real. But that's like a 15-inch dick.

He's 6'4", too, yeah. Right, but how big is that dick? Big enough. But that's about 15 inches, right? And thick around like a baby's arm. Time to break the internet again. That's a two-year-old's arm. Does he pay your bills?

Hashtag it ain't tricking. Hashtag real ninja shit. Does he take care of your kids? Does he lick it from the front to the back? Has he slid under that pussy like Mecca Nick and tuned it up with his tongue? Run her baths until the water is warm as a Miami morning in the spring. Okay. Four women. He's high. Now handle

your business. He's high with a giant dick. He's hilarious. That's fucking funny to me. I gotta get his phone number and hang out with him. Hey, let me buy you a drink, dicks. He'll probably show you his dick too. No. Just to make you feel bad. Hey, Brian. Before you go. That's okay.

I always say that to guys that are dudes. Like, the problem with giant dudes that do jiu-jitsu and stuff are, it's like, they could fuck you. That's beat you up. Could Brendan beat me up? And then what if they're fucking you with a dick that's tattooed like an anaconda? That's what I'm getting at. Does anybody have that?

Let's take a look. Surely there's got to be a guy who's tattooed his dick like anaconda of course 100 but i'm shocked that i haven't seen this i'm outraged this seems like something that i would have heard long time if i can think of it in 2019 surely it's been done hundreds and hundreds of times yes there's no way right there's a vice article about everything you ever Wanted to know about Penis tattoos And it talks about A guy has 14 Stripes To make it look like a snake

That's cool Let me see He doesn't have a picture In the article This is how I go To see dicks It's for science Let me see it

Let me just see it I don't care really about dicks But I just want to make sure This is true And you're not lying I will bring up this And hit images And then hit it

Whatever you want to see there Bam Those are just tattoos Here's a problem There's a dragon In the far right You're not lying. I will bring up this and hit images. Hit it. Bam. Those are just tattoos. Here's the problem. Oh, that's the dragon in the far right. Look at that one. Here's the problem. See that far right dragon? This is dudes. That I've seen before.

This is people negotiating the problem of individuality with accoutrement. Is that what it is? Yes. Or they just like dragons. It's just like. And they wish their dick was a dragon. That's possible too. That's a girl, bro.

You don't even know the difference between a boy and a girl. The fuck? What's that one in the middle? What's that one in the middle there? On the right hand side in the middle?

That right there. Bang. What's happening there? Oh, that's an issue, huh? Plus he's got a bolt. That's the same guy, man. He just got more work done on the thighs.

Right in the fucking head, huh? You just nailed your dick down. Yeah, why does he have a bolt through the head of his dick? What the fuck is going on? What is that guy doing there? He's rolling his dick like dough. Yeah, why does he have a bolt through the head of his dick? What the fuck is going on? What is that guy doing there? He's rolling his dick like dough.

Yeah, he's got his dick in a rolling pin. That's how they tattoo it? Oh, just stop. I'm done. Oh, that's how they do it. They have to flatten it out with a rolling pin.

What the fuck, man? I'll do it for attention. What should I get on my dick? If you had to get a tattoo on your dick, you have ten seconds. Ten, nine, eight. Hello, kitty. i get on my dick if you had to get a tattoo everything you have 10 seconds 10 hello kitty that's very good i want girls to go down there and go what the fuck

imagine hey honey i got a new thing yep pull your dick out your wife sees hello kitty on your cock you're like what what that's funny would you get like a little star under your cheek uh yeah a little tiny one yeah star now i want to i want a teardrop you gotta kill somebody get a teardrop though a star you just have to be cool a little star yeah yeah just like you know you think different at 52 yeah yeah why not god damn just to change things well stallone i, got sleeved. He got half-sleeved when he was in his 60s. Sure did.

Yeah. Just decided, fuck it. He's my canary in the coal mine. Look at it. That's my canary in the coal mine. You just can't steal him. You can't steal him. Yeah, he got a full shoulders, chest, all that shit done.

Look at that. All of it's on my back. That's impressive. Jacked see get a picture of him that's it that's from that movie that picture go back go back to the one you just had i did it do that to you that one that's when he was doing that movie bullet in the head yeah he got super lean man yeah man he got down like 100 it looks like he's like 170 pounds or something like that disciplined dude yeah ridiculously dude. Yeah, ridiculously disciplined. That takes credit.

And 150 years old. And still doing action movies. Still fucking people up. And you're like, oh, I'm buying it. Yeah. I'm buying it. Yep. And the Expendables is throwing people against the walls like, I'm buying it.

Yep. There you go. He's got big hands, big bones. He's a big guy. He's got Joe Rogan hands. You have thick. He's Italian. He has mitts.

Just like me. All the time. Why is your last name Joe Rogan hands. You have thick. He's Italian. You have mitts. Just like me. Just like me. Why is your last name Rogan, though? You have just a little Irish name. Because my grandfather on my father's side is half Irish. Well, he was Irish. My father's half Irish. Yeah.

So my father's mom was a full Italian, and his dad was full Irish. So you're a quarter Irish. I'm half Irish, half Italian. He's getting his back done here. Look at this. Look at the shape that motherfucker's in. Come on. He's in great shape.

Plus, he might be holding a stomach in right there for the picture. But the guy behind him that's tattooing him, he's got... Does he got some... That's Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke? Oh, that's that movie. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Is that what that is?

No, no, no. That's an old movie. What movie is this from? This is some new movie. Oh. Is it another movie? Could be Expendables scene No, no, no. That's an old movie. What movie is this from? This is some new movie. Oh, it's another movie? Could be Expendables scene or something. Mickey Rourke

is an eccentric character. He's the kind of guy that would come over your house with like a full Indian jacket on with like the tassels. My favorite actor of all time.

Buck skin and like he would have buck skin pants on and like legit cowboy boots and you couldn't say nothing. Nothing. And a big turquoise belt buckle

and no shirt. Yeah. No shirt. When he was youngerquoise belt buckle and no shirt. Yeah. No shirt. When he was younger, my favorite actor of all time. I fucking love him. What are those ties called? Is this just a string? Yeah, the Western ties.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? What is that fucking thing? Yeah. That's a fake tie. That's what that is. That's whatever he wants. That's not a tie. And carry around two small dogs in his hands.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And maybe a gun. Maybe a gun. Maybe a bow around his neck. Whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah. Maybe walks through your house with a knife in his teeth.

Yeah. You're like, what's going on with Mickey? Shh, just Mickey. Leave him. That's just Mickey. Just leave him alone. Just leave him. That's regular Mickey.

Yeah. The world of actors, my friend. They are out there. He was abused by his stepdad really badly. Oh, was he? Yeah. He took a great interview with Alec Baldwin on Baldwin's podcast called Here's the Thing. It was very heartbreaking.

Very heartbreaking. He was abused by his stepfather was a cop and a brutal son of a bitch and really abused those two boys. His brother, Mickey's brother, died in his arms. A drug addict because of his father. He blamed his stepfather. Then he of his father he blamed his stepfather then he saw his father he'd never seen he's so heartbreaking

to tell the story he saw his father in New York father's coming out of a bar his father goes Nick he was standing there and he goes

I'm your son his father goes I thought I'd run into you one day and then his father died a week later of alcoholism so he ran into him as a grown man yeah he tells you everything

about someone you know your heart's broken at a young age well almost everyone that's fucked up in this life is fucked up because of something that someone did to them whether it's a relative or abuse that they suffered or you know things throughout their life that have gone horribly wrong especially for children the big one i mean that's the most formative time of your life right when you meet people that were abused as children you everyone like universally feels for them you're like oh no when you have children especially oh for sure you realize what a catastrophe and an un un impossible thing to deal with it that's so terrible to me it's the special evil you know it is abusing children i mean you're ruining not just a moment but the full potential of a child's life they're never going to escape the fact that that was done to them that someone used them this child psychologist she was talking to her and i said give me some

advice with my children you know what she said to me she goes just don't leave just be in their life that's big and i was like that's true right because when your dad's not there your mom's not there someone's not there this is like the feeling of like displacement everything's wrong the world's and then on top of that what these kids get abused it's like oh my god you've you've compounded horror on top of of sadness and loneliness horror on top of it yeah and it's also it this is the really fucked up things it repeats itself like they say that people that are molested when their children are much more likely to molest children, which is like insane.

It's like the thing that happened to you, the abuse that happened to you, it's almost like you want to put it on someone else. The fact that so many kids grew up in single-parent households in this country is the problem. That's the problem. That's a giant problem. You can talk about racism. You can talk about anything else. You grew up without a father. You grew up in a single-parent household.

That's abuse that is well that's men who have children men who have children and walk out on those kids that those are the people i have no time for i hate them i don't give a fuck what your excuse is if you have i would make it a law like you'd be i would make it very uncomfortable for you but that's just one kind of abuse there's also abuse by your actual biological parents there There's abuse by other biological relatives. There's people that have – There's abuse by stepfathers. Yeah, abuse by brothers and sisters.

There's abuse by neighbors. There's abuse, man. But it all boils down to the same thing. It's like what happens during your developmental period when you're a really young person to becoming an adult. And if someone's abusing you and fucking and you over that just ruins most people's lives most people don't bounce back from that you know and then you get caught up in this spiral of this cycle of crime and violence and prison and abuse and you're done you're done i wonder how long it's going to take before the human race eradicates that. Because I think if you look at like Pinker's work and some other people that just studied violence and abuse and all the various things that we love least about civilization, those markers are going down sort of across the board, whether it's violent crime or rape.

Those markers are slowly going down. Like how long does it take before there's none of that? Part of it's, they say what crippled the mafia was just the fact there are cameras everywhere. those markers are slowly going down like how long does it take before there's none of that part of it's part of it's uh they say what crippled the mafia was just the fact there are cameras everywhere you can't just drop bodies all the time because it's you don't know everybody's got a fucking ring the cops just go can we take a look at your ring footage right and and you know you you got to make a getaway somewhere you're always always on camera. You're always on camera. And they can do this.

They can just follow the dots. Well, Snowden just posted something that I retweeted it. See if you can find that, Jamie, about China and the citizens are sort of revolting against this constant surveillance state that's overtaken China. And you're saying over the next 10 years is what's going to be America. Absent sweeping reform, this is the whole world in 10 years remember both parties in the u.s defend mass surveillance programs china's advantage here is not technological but that there's no strong civil opposition to slow the descent into nightmare so china is not i'm sorry i read it wrong china is not able to slow it They're just slowly descending into the surveillance state.

This is the biggest, one of the biggest. That's why not trusting your fucking leaders is very important. We were lied to in Afghanistan for 18 years by senior U.S. officials. The authorities can scan your phone, track your face, and find out when you leave your home. One of the world's biggest spying networks is aimed at regular people and no one can stop it. And this is in China. Yeah, all in the name of security. There's never been a regime, a government that didn't use that as an excuse. All civil liberties because in the name of protecting the fatherland from essentially terrorism because a communist lit the Reichstag on fire.

Well, what's interesting is how long is it going to take before some version of this makes it over here? Because it seems inevitable. It's coming, but you have to fight it tooth and fucking nail. Americans should always be distrustful of their authority figures. I don't give a fuck how much you like Trump or anybody else. You should hold your leaders accountable, and you should not. You should always have a healthy distrust. We were lied to for 18 years about how the war was going in Afghanistan.

We spent over a trillion dollars on that fucking war over the past, how long has it been? Since 2003? Good. And we were trying to turn into a modern nation you have senior u.s officials whether intelligence military and everybody else they knew this was an unwinnable war i know too many people who spent 10 years over there they all knew it too and somehow that just never made it out and every general kept saying we're at a turning point in the war we're going to defeat the taliban no you weren't and you know the difference and you knew that at the time and i understand that there's a lot of pressure and everything else but we spent all that money for fucking what and a lot of americans got injured and

fucking killed for it and we were lied to i know what this is what's interesting about what you're saying this is the argument for something like this in the first place if you had this this, if you had mass surveillance everywhere, people wouldn't be able to plan terrorist attacks. Oh, fuck that. That's what they all know. We always use that as an excuse. I know, but that's how they would implement something like that. If they could get something like that implemented in Afghanistan and put a giant kibosh on the amount of terrorist activities. Yeah, right.

Good luck. I know. I would say good luck, too. Study history. Study history to see how that turns out.'s why studying history so the thing is this kind of tools never existed like you could study history all day long but government's only going to prepare you sort of peripherally it's not really going to prepare you for what what technology can do today there's nothing in history that can really tell you where this goes i agree

with you but but politicians use the same exact language they've been using forever which is we have to protect the public from these insurgents this danger here's the solution here's a solution to that eventually there's no more government here's a solution to that you what this is doing it's making it almost impossible to be a traditional to have a traditional government, right? Because if this stuff starts making it into their – then we can find out what they're doing all the time. So what if we – what if it turns out, well, we'll let you mass surveillance. We want 24-7 access to anyone who is any sort of representative, anyone who's a congressman, anyone who's a senator, anyone who's a president. We want 24-7 access to everything you say and do we want to know we want to know who

you are no more backs my problem with that is that then you wouldn't have you wouldn't have the best people uh getting in you don't have the best people now that's true but it's gone it's over you're already dealing with that as a politician and stuff i don't know if that's the answer my my thing is the answer brian cowan i'm just saying imagine oh i see what you're saying i'm not saying it's a good idea it's a terrible idea but imagine if this this is what the world becomes everyone has access to everyone's life see the way i believe it is is you want to if you want to learn about somebody as a government agency you got major firewalls and you need warrants and make it fucking difficult right but the reason why a country like

the united states goes to war with a country like afghanistan or or against the or isis or is because you have leaders and groups yeah once there's no leaders and once there's no groups and everybody can see everything that everybody's doing then you have no no more need for government somebody's got to can but but all societies are predicated resources no but also but you also have to have somebody no more society has to have the monopoly on violence well you understand what i'm saying or or all the resources get distributed evenly all natural resources fucking communist all natural resources on earth are owned by the human beings that inhabit the earth not the human beings that live on that one particular spot so all the out saudi trillionaires and all those dudes are making fracking money that's our money

bitch it's our earth you're stealing the fucking essence of the earth and selling it back to the people how dare you carl marx right here man no i'm just saying problem jamie imagine premium Our earth. Impossible. You're stealing the fucking essence of the earth and selling it back to the people? How dare you? Karl Marx right here, man. No, I'm just saying. This is the problem, Jamie. Imagine. You're premiuming this podcast. But all the other things you could sell.

You could sell cars. You could sell this. You could sell that. You could make buildings. I'm not stopping capitalism. What I'm saying is all natural resources, all of them, belong to the conquerors of the earth, which is us, the human beings. Dude, you just solved a lot of problems right now all of it so

no no no trillionaire oil barons no um dependence on fossil fuels because yeah fossil fuels are great but if no one in particular is profiting uh entirely off fossil fuels because the money has to be distributed evenly to everyone the same with solar same with anything anything that's a resource any natural resources yeah but you need mineral minerals the technology to to harness that stuff you can sell that you can sell that but what you can't sell is oil well we sold on the open market not anymore not when i'm president what the fuck dude so oils everybody are you gonna run we're stealing it we're gonna we'll nuke the world if they don't give us the oil, just listen. Let's start fresh with amoebas.

This is not going well. Dude, let me be your vice president. You run. Okay. I like it. You run. Okay. And then what's our platform?

What's our slogan? How do we fix the tuna in the sea? What's our slogan? How do we grow more tuna? Lead-free tuna, you fucks. Yeah. No more dinner theater. Everybody, no more dinner theater. Everybody that works in dinner theater now makes tuna.

You work in a tuna plant where you make tunas fuck each other. I feel like this is- So we have more tuna because we're running out of tuna. You force a breeding program? Yes, yes, yes. And you're going to have to filter the ocean. You're a terrible president. No, I'm a great president.

We fucked up the ocean. There's all this heavy metals and poison in there. We need a filter for the ocean. Sort of like the filter that you have at your house. Yeah. The filters of tap water. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. We need one of those for the ocean. Jesus. Problem solved. It's going to be expensive as shit, dude. Not really. All right. Not when you get rid of music, dinner theater, all musicals.

Oh, you're using money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. And make those people go to work in a real job. Damn. Yeah. All those people that think that musicals are what people want to see. Fuck you.

Really? Fuck you. But I like musicals. Oh, you son of a bitch. Remember that time we got really, really, really, really, really high and we went to see one of your professors, one of your acting professors? The greatest. Sing?

Sing musicals? Yes, I do. That was a wonderful night. It was a, I love that kind of stuff we were so high i couldn't walk fast no me neither i had to like be real i was i knew i knew how to walk but i wasn't totally sure i could keep doing it i never i never smoked weed and but when i do it's like i got high one time i was with patty jenkins we were in uh fucking uh atlantic city and we'd been swimming and I smoked weed

and I didn't, I was not a weed smoker and you swam in the water? The ocean of Atlantic City? Yeah, fuck yeah, at night. Dude, you're dangerous. Huge waves.

I lost my, we lost the car keys and we're looking everywhere, dude, everywhere and two hours later I sit down on the curb because I'm just tired. We don't worry,

it's just too much. Patty looks at me and she goes, Brian? Yeah, she goes goes open your hand please it's in your hand of course it was how's that oh my god i've had my sunglasses on top of my hat and looked for him for 10 minutes before i was looking for my phone the other day.

I'm like, I'm with my son, and I'm looking for my phone, and I'm like, where the fuck is my phone? Where the fuck is it? He's next to me on my phone playing a game. Oh. Right next to me. Snatch your phone up. Yeah.

Those kids love those goddamn phone games. No, I'm the one who downloaded the game for him. Oh, you forgot? Yeah. You're getting old. Yeah. You need that TRT to read. He was playing a sniper game, and I said, you're not allowed to play that shit at all.

And then I saw how cool it was, and I ended up playing it. Whoa. Do you try to keep him from violent games? I do, but it's like telling a tree not to blow in the wind. It's interesting. Dakota Meyer, who's a decorated veteran and- Oh, Medal of Honor winner, right? Wow.

One of the very few to ever win it while alive. Yeah He thinks that video games and violent video games desensitize people now when someone like that Who's open with the struggles with PTSD sure killed a man with a rock? Okay, tell me the story buddy. It was in a fistfight with a guy, you know in war With with the enemy and picked up a rock and beat his brains in. Jesus. If this guy is telling you that video games can desensitize you, I'm going to listen. Yeah, I am too.

I'm going to listen to him. I am too. He understands. I can believe that. Yeah. You certainly get very good at these kids who have the guns. But it also, for some people that don't have any tendency towards violence like you or me or jamie or anybody else that we know that's fine and healthy they're not going to make you more likely to go shoot people and that's a fact yeah that's the thing it's like

are you saying that you playing red dead redemption is going to make you want to go out and fucking shoot people no it's not going to it's not going to have any effect on you as at all but will it have an effect on minors? I think there are a couple of things going on. One is I think they're addictive. Oh, yeah. And I've seen that with my own eyes with my children. They're addictive.

And when you take the game away, they exhibit withdrawal. They freak the fuck out. Come on, Dad. Yeah. One more game. Yeah. Jesus, Dad. They get crazy.

They stomp the ground. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I know. Yeah. And then then also i think when you play video games you can get so addicted that you will isolate and you'll play those games all day oh there's a lot of kids doing that yeah what's that do to your social interaction what's that do to your body should you be doing a sport what's that do to you later on can you get a girl when you've been sitting in front of it there There are lots of things that we don't know. I mean, do they lend, do video games, when you play them on that level, do they retard

your social skills and your, you know, I mean, there's a lot of considerations. I don't think. Well, I'm also in favor of you doing anything you want. If there's certain people that would make the same argument about someone who's addicted to reading. Sure. There's a lot of people that are in their head just reading novels all day. Then they were. Yeah. But those

arguments were used against before video games. You just don't hear it anymore because you just hear the more accelerated version. What it is is basically an engaging human creation. Yeah. An engaging human creation that's designed to captivate your attention, whether it's a novel or a film or anything. Yeah. Like things

are designed. That's what art is in a film or anything. Yeah. Like, things are designed. That's what art is in a lot of ways. And you go to an art gallery and you stare at someone's work, it's like some human creation that captivates your attention and gets you locked in. And when you see a really beautiful piece, like, we were in Italy and we were in Florence and we went to this ancient church and they had these beautiful works of art on the wall. Yeah. You know, just fascinating, fascinating stuff. ancient church and they had this beautiful works of art on the wall yeah you know just fascinating fascinating stuff and you try to picture like the people that painted this a

thousand years ago and what what life was like and you're looking at the intricacies of these dresses like that's an engaging human creation that captivates your attention we just we have merit in that kind of engaging captivated uh piece of art we we have put merit in that we don't put merit in video games for some reason yeah it's almost like it's too engaging it's too much it's too captivating it's an interesting question why why not you know because we know it's detrimental we inherently know that you're going to waste giant chunks of your life unless you're someone who like got a trust fund you never have to work again you got fucking 10 million dollars in the bank and you

could just chill forever and you want to play video games all day i'm like all right like if you i mean i don't know what to tell you you don't have to work yeah but what is it something like picasso's or you know that that painting of uh when spain was bombed by the luftwaffe um before world war ii and to bring that up because it's a kind of a haunting painting but why does that why is that still something that's considered a masterpiece and then like you said there's like these incredible image there's incredible imagery and what we can do with an ipad well it's all the same thing in some way it's a human creation but the thing about these digital human creations is they have this alien like cold feel to them like there's something about digital things even if they're spectacular

like there's no emotion in this thing this thing is a creation it's a one and a zero it's it's it's computer yeah whereas like if you're just reading novels all day like if you're that person that just uh fuck the world i'm gonna go in my house i'm gonna shut the door i'm gonna light a candle i'm gonna sit there and i'm gonna read novels all day i have 10 million dollars in the bank that i got from my trust fund. I just like reading. No one would say you're a loser. Like, what does Brian do?

He's amazing. You know, he got his trust fund and then said, I want to educate myself. I just want to read. And he just reads all the great works. And he sits at home all day and just reads. It's amazing. But that is somehow more intriguing because what you're doing is developing and expanding your understanding. what you're doing is is developing and expanding your understanding and i think when you do that what that means is you're someone who is worth speaking to you might have some secrets and some

understanding that i can use so when you talk to somebody who's really gone down that rabbit hole like joseph campbell you know who read all the philosophers and everybody who influenced them you want to you want to hear what he has to say because he's organized his brain and his thoughts in a way that might shed some light on the things that are confusing to you that are you know that are depressing or that are scaring you or whatever and and you do need leaders like that leaders of thought that can put things into perspective you know that can kind of tell you why there's a difference between, say, Picasso and this other shitty artist. I don't know.

No, yeah, for sure. For sure. But you also need people that know how to play the fuck out of a video game. The thing is those people don't get any credit. When you see these kids today that are winning these video game tournaments and winning a million dollars, and their parents have told them to not play games. Meanwhile, the dad works at fucking IHOP.

Like, hey, asshole. These guys are making real money playing this stupid game that you told them to never play. And they're filling arenas. Arenas. It's fucking crazy. This is where the world goes. The world goes to the most engaging creation

that human beings have that locks in other people's attention. And the most engaging creations for young people are these goddamn video games Yeah, they're just group efforts. They're giant group corporate efforts whether it's you know Grand Theft Auto or the new doom. What's that new doom coming out? But but I feel like doom and but I do think there's a difference I I do think that when you're really good at a video game There's there is an addictive quality to it. Yes yes you're really good at doing this thing right but at the end of the day it's a game right and that game is somewhat masturbatory that game i don't know that when you really get good at

fortnight or doom i don't know if that game in any way expands your understanding or your ability to contribute to the larger conversation okay but i'm just i'm just saying the snooker uh so is that the strategy game no how dare you what is it what about Chess is a good one. But chess is different. No, there's a reason why I said snooker. The reason why I said snooker is because you're executing. You're actually doing, you have to keep it together, and you have to physically execute a move. It's a giant pool table.

They play it in England, and they play with red balls and blue balls and pink balls and black balls. And I don't understand the game. I've watched it a bunch yeah but uh there's these people that play it and you know it's less popular now one of the guys one of the big time guys got busted he got busted um doing a fixed game like someone someone paid him off to lose and he agreed to do it for a certain amount of money but the thing is that a game like that is well respected because someone has to execute it's not just thinking you have to actually pull off

the shot yes it's a skill and also people love to watch it who play snooker yeah probably not me but people know the difference right a video game you have to execute as well but it doesn't seem like you're doing it because you're not physically just moving your hands around and moving a keyboard and it doesn't seem like it's as skillful or but it is yeah that's a really interesting question i don't know you're you're asking a really interesting question right like so because what they are doing is they're providing entertainment for people just like a great pool player right right so when you watch pool you're doing it for stakes you're doing it for money but you're also watching these people who have mastered this insane geometry. Well, we respect some versions of that, like golf.

Yeah. We respect golf. Yeah. Because we play it. And also the money that's available. That's why we don't respect bowling. Yeah. Like someone's a good bowler, you're like, congrats, you pat him on the head.

Good for you. Good for you. Nobody cares. But if you're fucking one of the best golf players of all time yeah you know that golfer is going to make millions and millions of dollars a year like that guy is a baller he's a golfer and he's at the top of the food chain when it comes to any of those skills require you to master yourself in many ways oh yeah yeah sure but the thing is that the games, it seems like it's happening in a digital realm. And because of that, it's not taken as seriously.

Even if you found out they made more money. Like when you find out someone's a successful video game player, there's a certain part of you that's like, oh, why are you wasting your time with that? Even if you go, he makes $5 million a year, you're like, oh, well, huh, good for him. Yeah. Huh, seems weird. Yes. Right? There's like a weird.

Yes. You don't. It's still not good. You know what it is for us who are older? It's subversive. Yeah. Huh. Seems weird. Yes. Right? There's like a weird. Yes. You don't. It's still not good. You know what it is for us who are older? It's subversive. Yes. For guys that are our age, it's subversive. It's we don't trust it.

We don't like it. We don't understand it. And it scares us a little bit because it also reminds us of our own mortality. We're also brainwashed to think that video games are for losers. All of that. reminds us of our own mortality. We're also brainwashed thinking the video games are for losers. All of that. So we have a stereotypical idea of what a video game player is. All that stuff.

So for older people, I feel left out. I don't understand it. And I feel like they're being bad and they should listen to me. Whereas chess is noble. Well, chess is... Someone playing chess, that's noble. Special. Special. Yeah.

You find out someone who's really good at chess, you're like, fuck, that guy's impressive. They can think deeply and strategically. If a girl could beat your ass at chess. I dated a girl once. She was really good at chess. It was humiliating. Shut me down. Well, jujitsu is a form of kinetic chess, probably.

Sort of. You can make that argument. mean yeah but force and there's there's mass there's all that but there's also leverage there's also understanding when to use your energy when not to when to be relaxed when to be strong it's more complicated even than chest probably i don't know i think it's more complicated i'm not good at either one but you know yeah yes you but there is an understanding of the moves and then when someone's countering the understanding of the counter and then the counter to the counter and this like constant thing that's like hicks and gracie one of the things he always used to say about people is they can't keep the rhythm you know he'd be like he would put a rhythm on people he just made you attack and you counter attack and you counter attack and you counter

but i know what your counter is i'm preparing for your counter so i'm moving and he does it so often that he keeps this rhythm up until you don't know what you can't, so I'm preparing for your counter. He's been there before. And he does it so often that he keeps this rhythm up until you don't know what – you can't just explode all the time. You don't know the moves. It was that boxer who was fighting Duran, and you hear him in the corner. I can't remember what the fight was. He goes, he's reading my mind. He's reading my fucking mind.

Well, Duran knew the pattern so well that he was like, I know what he's doing here. I know what he's going to do, so he would cut him off. And he'd be like, the guy's fucking catching me every time I try to work on our game plan. That's what boxing is, right? Boxing is like understanding the patterns of someone throwing a left or a right, moving their head side to side, moving forward, moving back, moving side to side. You get these patterns. These are the only things you can do. You can only move back and forth, side to side,

or you can move left to right, or you can throw with your left hand, or you can throw with your right hand, all the variables with different kinds of punches you can throw. But you get a guy like Terrence Crawford in front of you, he's seen all those, and so he starts setting you up to see, like, what are you doing? Like, where are you doing it? Where am I going to? There's a beautiful combination that he used to knock out that cat the other night.

He fought some very rugged dude. Who's the guy Crawford fought this weekend? I want to see him fight Earl Spence. I only saw the highlights of it because it was, I guess it was on ESPN. Here it is. Let me see. I want to see him fight Earl Spence so badly. Oh, yeah.

It would be phenomenal. That's the fight. But the end of the fight, man, he just did some beautiful creative shit. He's amazing, man. He really is amazing. Oh, he took some shots. Oh, dude. For real. The guy's very amazing, man. He really is amazing. Oh, took some shots. Oh, dude, for real. The guy's very good, man.

Oh. Yeah. Now watch that. He dropped him there. Now watch the final combination. Look at this. Watch his step back. Look at this.

Step back. Bing. How beautiful is that? That step back and then that uppercut. That's like recognizing patterns. Yeah. Then he stepped in and hooked him in the head and dropped him. He changes shit up, too, all the time.

He's brilliant. God. Brilliant. There's guys that hit this level, right? When you watch boxing or any combat sport, really, there's this guy that hit this level and you're like, oh, they're in that fucking super champion zone. Yes. And that's where Crawford is.

That's why he needs to fight Earl Spence. Yes. That's where Lomachenko is. How is Earl Spence alive and not injured? I don't know Because he's Superman That video of him Flipping that Ferrari And watching it fly over him

And he doesn't get crushed No What are the odds That he makes it out of there Without a scratch And thank God Because that aficionado That work of art

Needs to be preserved You sound gay as fuck I don't care It's fine A little gay for me I'm all about people That are gay as fuck A little gay man

But you did sound, yeah, he's a beast, man. The way he shut down Mikey Garcia, I was like, whoo. God. He's fucking for real.

Hey, I'll tell you what, Sean Porter gave him the what for. Sean Porter was, that's when you realize Sean Porter, seven time world champion, that's when you're like,

oh my God. gave him the what for. Gave him the what for. I love that flavor that you put when you describe things. I say things like this, I go, I'm going to keep him busy. I'llave him the what for? Gave him the what for. I love that flavor that you put. That's what I say sometimes. We describe things. I say things like this.

I go, I'm going to keep him busy. I'll give him the what for. Give him the what for. Ask me what would happen if Jamie came at me right now. You sound like an actor. God, ask me. What would happen if Jamie came at you? Meet him halfway.

Whoa. Yeah. That's scary. Ask me what would happen if Jamie. I don't like it. That makes me uncomfortable for Jamie. He's an athletic kid. What would happen if Joe came at you?

Come back with what I got. Oh, really? See that? Now watch this. Jamie broke his butt bone out here on one of them scooters. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no.

He was trying to figure out what his injury was forever until Zach Bitter explained how he broke his butt bone. And Jamie's like, that's the exact same problem I've been having. And it happened from him on the hoverboard thing. Whoop. Oh, no. Fell on the concrete right out here. Broke his butt.

Yeah, well, maybe. For sure. Undiagnosed broken butt. Most likely broken butt. It's exactly the same spot. And it's where he landed. He landed on his butt. Hey, Jamie.

Jamie. Yes. Ask me if I ever killed a man. Did you ever kill a man? Never stopped to look, brother. Are you in the new Mickey Rourke movie? Dude, man, how about me as a fucking action hero? What's my name?

Your name would be Anaconda. Blade? No, Anaconda. Huh? Anaconda's good. You're like a bag of ropes. No, fucking Anna. Anna.

Anna. And I hate- No, no, no. Anna's a girl. No, because they go, his name is Anna and they go, Conda, you ever roll with him?

Oh, it's like a boy named Sue. Yes. Like people start fights with you. One of my favorite songs. It's a great song. The meanest thing that he ever did

was he went ahead and named me Sue. That's a great fucking great song. One of the greatest songs. That's my favorite Johnny Cash song. Johnny Cash.

When my daddy left home when I was three. He didn't leave much for mom and me. Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Wow. That's beautiful.

Brian Callen, it's almost 4 p.m. We've done three hours of talking shit. Time goes by, bro. It does. We gotta do this more often. We always say this,

but we did it. Come see me at the Wilbur. We made it happen. New Year's Eve. Wait a minute. You hit the Wilbur Theater in Boston on New Year's Eve? Yeah, man. For do stand-up comedy? Fuck yeah. Don't you have a new hour? I got a whole new

hour. You have a whole new hour that'll be at the Wilbur Theater on New Year's Eve. And if you're in Arizona tomorrow, I'm in Arizona tomorrow at the Celebrity Theater. Oh my God. Tomorrow? Tomorrow. With Frank Caliendo and Adam Ray. So tomorrow you're at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, Arizona.

What day is that? That's tomorrow on Saturday. What day is this coming out? Is it coming out today? It'll be the 21st. 21st. The 21st of December. The 31st. I'm at Wilbur at the fucking...

10 days later? Get your fucking tickets! 10 days later. New Year's Eve? 31st? Is that what New Year's Eve is? It's cold as fuck. New Year's Eve in Boston.

I panicked. It was so cold my face hurt. I had to run's Eve is? It's cold as fuck. New Year's Eve in Boston. I panicked. It was so cold, my face hurt. I had to run into a store. It gets cold. I tried to walk a half mile to coffee. All right. God bless you. God bless you.

Brian Callen, ladies and gentlemen, this Saturday night. Friday night or Saturday? Saturday night. Saturday night. Celebrity theater. Tonight is Friday. You're not going there tonight.

No, tomorrow night. I'll be like, you're a gangster. It's 4 o'clock. Saturday night celebrity theater. Saturday night celebrity theater. Saturday night celebrity theater. And bye, everybody.