The Joe Rogan Experience - #1406 - Brian Redban

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

Brian Redban is a comedian and the founder of the Deathsquad podcast network. Also look for him on "Kill Tony" available on Spotify under "Deathsquad".

Hello Brian. Hello Joe. Happy New Year. Happy 2020. Happy 2020. That doesn't sound real. 2020 sounds like a fake number. Like we're in the year 2020. That's like a movie about the future. Yeah. We've already gone past the Blade Runner date. You know. What was the Blade Runner date? I think that was September or October of last year. You know what's interesting about the estimations about the future? No one ever underestimates. Everyone overestimates. Right? Like Space 1999. Remember that show? Yep.

I'm older than you, but when that show was on TV, people thought that in 1999 we'd be just fucking flying around through space all the time and living out there. Yeah, like Buck Rogers. Yeah. All those shows like so blade wonder was what year uh this last year 2019 wow they missed that huh yeah because it's funny when they show it in the movie it shows like the background looks like like like flying

cars and like crazy you know billboards and everything i wonder where technology would be if it wasn't for the internet imagine Imagine if the internet was not possible, but technology still advanced electronically. Like the capability of showing higher resolution images and processing power and all that stuff kept moving. But they never figured out how to link it all up. Yeah. That's weird. That's the scariest thing about the internet. Yeah, that's weird.

That's the scariest thing about the internet. It's almost like the future put ideas in people's heads, and those people just started figuring out a way to connect everybody and then connect all this crazy computing power and all this information, and you could translate it in real time and do it all around the world. And what a better way to get the technology to advance because if it wasn't for the internet how much where would we be at realistically would still be racist would still be molesting people at work nuclear bombs would still have radio would still have tv yeah because that's what's causing all the problems you know in

hollywood and everything in life and you know look at all this stuff that's going on right now with Trump and everything like that. It's the internet getting together going, no, this is wrong. This is right. It's people becoming gangs immediately. I think it's a side effect of something that's ultimately going to be good. That's what I think. I think we're learning how to figure it out. But I think ultimately it's going to be good.

Because what it is is everybody gets to have an opinion. And through those opinions you find out which ones make any sense, which ones are crazy. But right now it's like the people that are really into expressing their opinions on both sides are usually the ones that everybody else is like, hey, hey, hey, fucking relax, man. I think most of us have some sort of a middle ground on almost everything. But that's not represented right now, because right now it's like the most extreme people are the ones who are putting the most energy into talking about things. Like this Greta Thunberg girl. Do they have to go to her every time anybody says anything wrong about the

climate because apparently meatloaf said something what did meatloaf say something about her specifically i think he said did he yeah oh i thought he had a client i read the headline i read and i'm a fucking sucker for clickbait and said uh he had climate denial comments yeah he just said something like, relax. He pretty much kind of did that passive aggressive thing, like, chill out, lady. It's probably being funny. Yeah. I mean, that's what we do.

I do feel kind of bad for her. I think it's hilarious. Like, imagine all the other girls in school. What did they think about her? You know, like. I have a friend who worked with autistic people people and she said she thinks she's autistic she she thinks that um this situation is like a really bright child that maybe is being like pushed in this direction to be this public figure it's just uh her it's not that her opinions aren't valid they definitely are valid but it's just it's not healthy to take a young kid who's developing

and then thrust them into the front of something like global climate change debate it's so hostile and then just instantaneously this kid is getting mocked and fuck with and then they're asking her to make statements and and how dare you that how dare you just plays over and over and over again. She's not wrong. It's not wrong, her opinions. But it's like she's really young to handle this. I don't know if she's autistic. She seems very, very smart.

Is she like this all day? That's a good question, too. When you think of autism, don't you almost immediately think they're probably really smart at something? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Is that from Brain Man or is that accurate? No, that's accurate. That's why the government uses them for their military, for radars and stuff, because they're very smart at one certain thing or a few certain things. Accuracy is another one that I had a crazy thought about autism and that all these spectrum disorders are eventually going to make emotions like a less significant aspect of being a human being.

You know, some people, some people, they don't have any control over their emotions, right? They're just, they fly off the handle. They're nutty. They cry. They scream. It varies, right, with all of us. their emotions right they just they fly off the handle they're nutty they cry they scream it's it varies right with all of us wouldn't it be like more efficient if that wasn't the case anymore like if there was a like like an appendix you know we had an appendix we had an organ that we used to use to pro what is it like processing roots and or bark bone was it bone yeah i thought it was like breaking down bone something we don't use anymore because of our diet change

like imagine if your emotions become something like that like some people have emotional flare ups like oh that guy blew out his appendix he just had a fucking hissy fit at his brother's wedding fuck no fuck you man dad always fucking said which one of the pill, Xanax or Prozac, makes you just numb to thoughts? Xanax, I think. Xanax. I think Xanax is the anti-relaxant one. Prozac's a speed, right? Or anti-anxiety one.

Xanax is anti-anxiety, right? I think so, yeah. It's just pure Xanax all the time. Somebody told me that if you take that, when you get off of it, it accentuates the anxiety. Like once you get off, there's a rubber band effect. But then a doctor told me that's horse shit. So I'm, it accentuates the anxiety. There's a rubber band effect. But then a doctor told me that's horse shit. So I'm going to go with the doctor. But so many people, maybe it's because they forgot

how bad anxiety is and then they get it back like, fuck! Maybe because you took a break and you know what it's like to not have anxiety, then the reality of being on the natch is just even more discomforting. A lot of people take Xanax to come down from bad trips or if they get too stoned or too

fucked up on mushrooms or something. Good call. I don't think I've ever done Xanax. Have you done Xanax? No. No. No, but I didn't even know that I had a problem with anxiety until I started taking CBD. Oh, yeah.

Once I started taking CBD oil, I was like, wow, I feel great. How much CBD? What's your normal CBD? Like, what do you take? I do a lot of lotions. You take pills and stuff. I use a bunch of different companies and a bunch of different kinds of stuff. Some of them are gummies.

But mostly I like oil. And CBDMD is one of the sponsors. They sent me a bunch of their stuff. It's great. I squirt it under my tongue. Yeah, I like oil, and CBDMD is one of the sponsors. They sent me a bunch of their stuff. It's great. I squirt it under my tongue. Yeah, I like that stuff. I just chill out. It just does something to you where it's not getting you high,

but it is giving you this feeling of lightness. There's a little bit, just a little bit, just a little relax. Dave Foley had really fucked up arthritis, cbd tincture cbd oil completely fixed it just oral cbd he used to not be able to straighten his fingers out just from a fucking arthritis yeah i used it on my leg when i uh pulled my sciatica or whatever that shit's called and that helped with that actually dude i've done that many times sciatica i've never done that that was one of the worst things ever man i couldn't sleep you know what it is it's most of the time it's an injury in your back and it goes down your leg right but

what it is is your back somewhere in your back i'm like an expert on um being able to butcher scientific explanations for medical conditions but right if i was going to do my best to get it right i would say it's uh your disc bulges out and hits the nerve and it hurts and the way it hurts it goes down your leg so you think like you pulled something in your leg but it's really something in your back you know and uh i was experiencing it really recently man and i went and got you know know what Regenikine is? I told you about that shit before, right? They used to do it in Germany.

It was a blood-spinning procedure. They still do it in Germany, but now they do it in Santa Monica, too. And it's a blood-spinning procedure that's like platelet-rich plasma, but they put some other stuff in it. I know we've discussed the science behind it. Anyway, it's amazing at that, at relaxing all the area around a disc and anything that's bulging sort of goes back in and fixes itself. It really can happen. You don't necessarily have to get surgery with a lot of people. But some people that have your situation or my situation, they get surgery because the disc keeps poking out. They say, we're just going to cut a piece out off.

And it can help you. disc keeps poking out they said we're just going to cut a piece that off and it can it can help you i think mine might might be stemming from my bad knee somehow because mine mine happened right after i injured my knee again uh the other yeah you're probably favoring one side yeah you know if you it's definitely weaker like i need to is that the the growth hormone do you have to still have to go to like not growth uh with the baby dead baby juice stem cells stem cells do you still have to go to like mexico for that or no you can do it in america for sure and as an added bonus they'll do it may get out of your own fat oh right yeah bro they'll lipo you a little bit get them to sculpt you some six-pack i'm gonna have a lot i'm gonna have a lot

let's see you at the store you'll be be like 150 pounds. What happened, Red Van? Stem cells. Yeah. I got for everybody. Who needs stem cells? And I didn't even know that you could use plasma. I always sold plasma. I didn't know you could keep it and use it for good.

Well, this platelet-rich plasma, again, I'll fuck this up royally if I try to actually explain it. But they take your blood out and they spin it. And somehow or another, by spinning it it it separates through a centrifuge it separates like this yellow stuff that's like there's the platelets and there's this other stuff like that there's like significant parts to blood all right so they take this platelet rich plasma however the fuck they do this and um the difference between that like regular prp and reginokine is some other factors so they squirt that yellow serum into your back it's not cheap it's not covered by insurance but god damn does it work i mean it works way better than i mean it's like

you got a belging like if usually if you have a bulging disc you're kind of fucked you know because people are like god damn what can i do and they go well exercise yoga there's some things they take a long time you can slowly get things better you can get an epidural it'll kill the pain sometimes that helps relax everything but this shit fixes it that'd be a good uh company to invest in you just need a doctor and a machine dude like it's a little more complicated than that, Brian. You need actual scientists, lab technicians. Maybe it's just a machine. It might be just a spinning machine

that takes plasma and makes it like a latte out of it. Jamie, what were you going to tell me about Epstein right before the show started, but you stopped? I was going to tell you this. How are you going to tell me? Let me draw a picture. Something happened? Well, I woke up to seeing last night during the Golden Globes was going on. There were some jokes going on by Ricky Gervais that we can probably talk about later,

but 60 Minutes was probably going on a different channel at the same time, and they had a report with some new evidence that nobody has seen yet. Oh, jeez. They have some autopsy photos and photos from inside his cell. Whoa. Yeah, the photo. Are the photos online? Yeah, yeah.

Of course they are. Yeah, I didn't know this was just released. I saw this last night, and I saw one of the photos, and it looks real. So I watched the 15 minutes that they put together, which is mostly just about the incident in the cell and surrounding it. I'm just going to show you the pictures, though, because we can't watch their thing. Let me try to get the 13 images. Am I scared?

No. I mean, it's just. I'm scared already. I'm scared already because of Iran. I don't want to be scared of this video of them whacking this dude. You know they whacked him. Yes. That's 100%.

The fact that they thought they can get away with that, that's so crazy. Like, that is such a crazy thing to try to get away with, this gigantic international case. Hey, what happened to the cameras? Oh, I'm fucking broke, man. I don't know. Sucks.

Got to hang himself. They needed a couple days to make the videos and stuff like that. Yeah, exactly. That's the problem with today. These are so fake. He tried to hang himself before. And they're like, bro he tried yeah exactly that's the problem so fake he tried to hang himself before and they're like hey don't do that again he's like all right i won't give me my belt give me my shoelaces give me whatever the fuck that guy strangled me with yeah these

photos are all fake right no no hold on i mean i don't know why it's they're very realistic we need eddie bravo in here immediately. Okay, here we go. Pull this up here. So this is from his cell. This is inside there. I'll put these up on the screen. So this was the cell he was in by himself. Okay.

They said he used a bunch of these orange jumpsuits, which I guess were already in there. He tied them around his head? I guess. There is a little spot way up here on the top of the grate where the window is where you could see maybe there was something up there. But the thing to remember here is that he was about 6 foot tall, 185 pounds. There's one other thing on this ladder here.

There is also some other things I'll get into in just a second that would be easier to use than tying all this shit together. But they showed, there's the other thing here was this this was about four feet off the ground and they do show a noose which they're saying was what he used but as the doctor sort of said that the noose that they show a picture of which is what you can see in the top right corner here which is playing oh that's dr michael badden that's that guy from the hbo autopsy show for some reason i can. I'll find it in a second. But the picture that shows his actual neck doesn't seem like this noose caused that wound. And it's a little bit lower than it probably should have been.

Oh, Jesus. So they're showing some of these other. This is some of the pictures of him. This is the bone, his jaw, the hoilio bone. His jaw was broken? Well, there's the fracture that they said wasn't consistent with hanging. It's more consistent with a murder or homicide. And he said, this is Baden's words,

is that usually he's seen it in maybe one bone break, and sometimes two, but there were three fractures. And he says he's almost never seen that in any of his cases he's ever looked over. And you would think it would be, if you're going to hang yourself from such a short distance, it would be even harder

to get a fracture like that, right? Because you're not like jumping off like in an old western movie. Like Clint Eastwood movie when they would hang him,

hang him high. So the one thing that they also had in here was he left a note. Oh, Jesus. The note said like, there was like four things. It said first that the, it had the name blurred out,

but it said this person left him in a shower locked for an hour. It then said someone else gave him, like, burnt food, and then bugs were crawling over his hands, and then he just wrote no fun. But there's a ballpoint pen, like the one I have in my hand, sitting right next to it. If you knew he was on suicide watch, you wouldn't give him a ballpoint pen

that he could kill himself with. Jamie, you should be a goddamn detective for CSI. This is what they're saying. And he had his sleep apnea machine was in there. You could see an extension cord coming from the hallway into his room that he could have just used that to kill himself and hang himself.

Or the nine jumpsuits. Why does he have nine jumpsuits? Yeah, the jumpsuit thing is freaky. They're trying to explain it by bringing in some new witness. So somehow this is actually a different video that's showing a couple different things than what I saw this morning. I didn't see this arm thing, and I didn't see the picture of his back. The arm thing looks like an injection spot.

Is that what it looks like? I guess so. Here's the actual. This is what I saw. Here's the note. What does it say? Sorry. It says,

It's not 60 minutes, get their watermark all over it. It's so funny. Sorry, 60 minutes. Thank you. Thanks for getting this. What is it? Kept me in a locked, it's blurred right here. It says the name is blurred.

Kept me in a locked shower stall for one hour. Neck, or someone, I don't know the name, sending burnt food food giant bugs crawled on my hands and then no fun and then they're saying and then he killed but then this ballpoint pen was next to it that he could have stabbed himself in the neck or whatever you know yeah it's hard to kill yourself with a pen yeah but do they get pens that's not usually but this is like a you know high profile case yeah I don't know yeah I don't think you should have it picked

look it's bad to say either way if you don't know and I'm guilty of that 100% I'm like that guy didn't kill himself I'm talking shit though I'm not talking in terms of like we have to understand this is really important

we're we're doing a podcast when you're doing a podcast you don't have to be factually accurate you just have to talk shit and hopefully if you fuck up you correct it and it's funny um i'm not a science expert but when these guys are saying that the guy died by strangulation there's all these points of consistent strangulation and it takes forever to get these pictures and then there's the video cameras didn't work and this is the second time he tried to kill himself and he's a high profile witness in a really really really important case involving pedophiles at the highest levels of government yeah i wouldn't i would think that that's the kind of guy you whack you're also according to the procedure you're not

when there's a suicide there you're not supposed to remove the body and also according to the procedure you're not when there's a suicide there you're not supposed to remove the body and take it to the emergency room you're supposed to treat it as though it was a murder like a crime scene what's crazy is it's so high profile like even is in because this is most likely how they did it forever right like people that whack people they were probably like you know i was doing comedy before the internet. They were probably whacking people before the internet, right? Do you want to see? I found the graphic image. Oh yeah, I'm not scared.

Let's see if you want to see it, Brian. I saw that. He has a weird texture on his cheek, I thought. Interesting, Brian. Tell me more. Like bed marks, almost. I think that's just the blood rushing to his head. Bro, that guy got

strangled that looks like a strangled guy yeah that's what i thought or choked for my but the thing is like there's no blood on that that's the thing there's no blood on that noose that they said was the noose that did it and there's no blood on his body there's no pictures of him in the cell they didn't take any pictures of that hold on there's no blood on the noose they said killed him but yet there's blood on his neck? Correct. That was pointed out by the reporter. That's insane.

That's impossible. Did they really do a test of the rope that they supposedly said hung him? Just show a picture of it, and it looks very clean and unused. Well, it is orange. Maybe the red doesn't show up that clean on orange. Can we look at it again? I think we should probably. Look, i want to

say for sure they killed him and the lawyer she's talking to and the piece is his uh former cell mates lawyer and he's just no it's obviously bro the former cell mate is my favorite part of the story a gigantic ex-cop who's a murderer and a drug dealer and he's fucking huge he's a gorilla a straight-up gorilla a big italian gorilla and they put him in jail with that guy come on man they probably oh come on look at his neck okay so they're examining the thing they this is dr michael badden from hbo Correct. And he's examining the thing that was supposedly used to kill him, and he's saying there's nothing on it. And he's showing the actual lacerations around the neck that show clear blood. And he said it's too low in the neck, too?

That's her postulation right here. She says if he did what you thought, which would have been like leaning forward on the ground, that it probably would have been a little higher under the jaw, not down at the base of the neck kind of but it's a little bit tough to say i guess you weren't there i would imagine if you're killing somebody like that they're trying to get away people are trying to get away do that right if you're killing them from behind if that guy's holding them down oh come man. Look at his neck. Hmm.

Hold on, though. Is any of that actually breaking the skin? The thing is, it looks like a wire. It looks like a wire to me. It does look like a wire. That's right. It looks way too thin to be that thick cloth noose. I mean, maybe that thick noose thing is really strong fabric but that looks like a wire to me man but wouldn't a wire just slice right into your neck too

yeah it looks like that's more like blood rising to the skin than than an actual cut yeah that's what i'm thinking too it looked before though like it was a cut so maybe there wasn't really that much blood that actually came through the skin. And maybe all that cloth, maybe it's really thin and it gets down like a wire. If you choke somebody with a bandana, like if you had one of those bandanas that hippies put on their dogs, and you choke someone to death with one of those things, I kind of think it's going to make a very small mark.

I don't think it's going to make a thick mark. If you got someone in an Ezekiel choke with one of those things and fucking... Yeah, that's strong. It would get thin, like where it was choking you. Yeah, at that point. Yeah. Would that make a mark like that? I'm sure someone now is going to go start myth-busting what it looks like if you do do that test. They have to murder someone to find out if it's true just get

another piece of shit all right so we'll find out later today i'm sure the whole thing is so strange man it's so public the idea that a guy actually had a fuck island i mean that's what that's where kid gervais was joking about last night did you watch that of course he was no but I did see the one clip that somebody put on the internet about him saying don't virtue signal

just come on here and get your little prize go fuck off because nobody cares about your opinion I was like thank you thank you Ricky

thank you thank God that guy swings he's out there swinging from the hip chin up doesn't give a fuck telling it like it is i

love it he went after apple in front of tim cook how crazy was that shit he went after apple then he said if isis opened up a studio y'all be sending your resumes is that what he said something yeah you'd all be like a streaming service y'all be contacting your agents or something yeah that's what he said like fuck man good for him so those are all pre-written right because they had to have those cuts ready to go i don't know man he's so badass he might be able to do whatever the fuck he wants you know he's ricky gervais he's got he's got the ability to probably say oh i'll do it but i'll do it this way and only this way and they're like okay ricky we love you we love you we know you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our amazing organization.

We all love working with you here at the Golden Globes. And it's fun. I mean, you stir people up, and everybody knows you're a good guy. And then he goes and hits them with genocide talk. Like, hey, hey, hey! Apple must have been so pissed. We were just getting away with using all that slave labor and nobody even noticed that's i mean it's another thing like this murder right it's like that's just how everything was

done that's just how everything was done they that's how they whacked everybody and that was how you got things built cheap they use slave labor but nobody knew nobody really understood until you saw things like foxconn. You're like, wait a minute. This is a good setup? You guys are working 16 hours a day. You sleep in the building? This is a good place? This is good? The stories of Amazon workers running around and

peeing themselves. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they have some crazy countdown thing that goes when they get an order and they have to run to go get it. Probably a fun job if you're into losing weight. Put on some some ankle weights and shit maybe a weight vest and just run around that thing you'd get a fucking vicious workout that's making lemonades out of lemons right everything's a workout you could be working as a waiter at applebee's and that's right think about it man just with heavy weights around on your your waist that no one would notice

you could have a good workout while you're working um the apple thing that that had to sting well he was standing right sitting right there too and they show him right before he starts saying it but he did throw in the amazon what What exactly did he say? Something about using sweatshops and stuff like that right in front of him. But I mean, Foxconn, it's a sweatshop, but it's probably the best version of a sweatshop. It's a real company. The best version of a sweatshop is hilarious.

I mean, Foxconn works in the United States now, don't they? Do they? Yeah, i think they actually have or they're about to have companies here in the united states i remember it was this is something that trump had talked about right yeah on top of the annual uh sir gervais uh ended his monologue by telling the nominees so if you do win an award tonight don't use it as a political platform to make a political speech you're in no position to lecture the public about anything you know nothing about the real world most of you spent less time in school than greta thurnberg so if you win come up accept your little award thank your agent and your god and fuck off okay

oh the swear was beeped out by nbc he also was he was also beat for his use of profanity in two other jokes. One where he called Katz, James Corden, a fat pussy. And another where he discussed the same film's Judy Dench licking her ass. Wow. The comedian, however, also peppered the monologue with references to me too in contemporary issues he started off by noting it was his fifth time hosting and therefore he didn't care what flack he would take then he punched in with a nod to last year's college admission scandal i came here in a limo tonight and the license plate was made by felicity huffman he said good for him it doesn't have that

he's a real comic doesn't have the apple quote he's a real comic that's that's a look there right down it's down a little it said a little lower than that it said apple tv apple yeah while discussing the addition of apple tv plus to the room gervais noted the irony of a me too theme show like the morning show being made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. You say you're woke, but if ICE has started a streaming service, you'd call your agent.

ICE! We're going to get this right, folks. I really believe this. Good for you. This is what we were talking about earlier, about everything being bad. I don't think it is. I think it's just a lot of noise.

There's a lot of noise. A lot of people yelling. It's swinging back around already. It's swinging back around. We're human. Yeah. You know, we have weird things. Everything's changed.

It's all changed now. Everything's changed. Okay. Relax. We're okay. We're going to be all right. The world's fucked. We're fucked.

It's all ending. I'm a little nervous about Iran, though. That seems like real shit. That makes me want to get educated on the subject so I could really freak out. The one thing that made me feel better is when they were screaming death to America, death to America recently, the president of Iran was like, well, when we say death to America, we don't mean uh the citizens we like the citizens we're talking about fuck you Donald Trump you know

really yeah but they've been saying that for a long time that death to America chant that's been around right that's a tough sell yeah we know what you're saying you're saying death to America okay like that's one thing that you don't want to be misconstrued if you want to fucking make signs and yell like you don't like you're misconstrued. If you want to fucking make signs and yell, like you don't like, you're like, hey, hey, we're not talking death, death, guys, right? Oh yeah, definitely not death, death. Let's go out and scream death to America. Everyone's going to know.

Like that would be the worst way to communicate something. Like why, if you don't really think that, why would you say death to the American political system? Death to the American military complex? Not death to America. Right system death to the american military complex not death to america right death to america is everybody how do they got us all mixed we don't have nothing to do with this guys we're just over here chilling how they got us messed up in some international

conflict that you actually have to think about might come and knock it on your door how what what fucking ineptitude? Mixed with scumbaggery led us to this position who did who did this is it the Iranian guys? Did Trump do something he shouldn't have done doesn't it seem weird timing though with this whole? impeachment Shit, it's all weird dude. It's all weird the fact that Trump can kill people weird the the fact that trump can kill people just understand how crazy it is that you got a guy like trump who could just go send it in send the missile just shoot missiles he could just listen man don't give me that power either don't give anybody that power for sure but a guy like trump guy who's a famous for being mean to people on a reality show.

You're fired. Famous for being a baller. I mean, that's what he's famous for. That's the crazy thing. He was in rap songs all the time in a complimentary way. That guy's life has gone through an arch. Home Alone 2. He was in Home Alone 2.

And in Canada, those silly fucks, they edited it out. The CBC edited out the Donald Trump scene because it's offensive. Offensive to us who really enjoy films without monsters. That's history. Are you going to go into fucking Naked Gun and get rid of OJ? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Are you going to take OJ out of the NFL archives? What are you going to do? No, this going to do? You're going to take OJ out of the NFL archives?

What are you going to do? No, this is life. You can't make life prettier by pulling Donald Trump out of Home Alone. You're supposed to look at it and go, Holy shit, who would have thought that fucking guy would be the president one day and be killing dudes and maybe starting World War III, like a goddamn Stephen King novel. You know, Stephen King's freaked out by trump these media posts oh what happened there these media posts will serve as notification to the united states congress that should iran strike any u.s person or target the united states

will click quickly and fully strike back and perhaps in a disproportionate manner such legal notice is not required but is given nevertheless dude fuck this that i don't like to see on twitter that seems so bizarre that almost seems like the the simulation theory has hired like comedy writers to come in and subtly fuck with everybody? That he can just put that on Twitter? How can he just put that on Twitter? Like I thought there was a series of checks and balances. You know? I mean

this is ultimately like one guy can have like an instantaneous press conference anytime he wants. Just by putting something on Twitter. And then there's all these people that go, you gotta ban him for Twitter. twitter but here's the problem you ban him from twitter gab is gonna he'll go to gab right if he goes to gab gab all of a sudden skyrocket because everybody's gonna want to go to gab to see trump talk shit on gab where it's full freedom of speech what if he starts swearing on gab what if they make a deal with him what if they give him 50 of gab because

they think it's imminent because of this uh war we're in with iran this could be a movie where they're gonna ban him from twitter and vidya and and jack dorsey has to leave he's in a meditation uh silent meditation in fucking bally and he has to fly in and he has to figure out whether or not they can make this executive decision to ban trump. But everybody's calling for it. Ban Trump. Ban Trump. Ban him. Ban him.

And then if they banned him off Twitter. Imagine if you went to the thing and the page said banned. You would just open up your windows and hear liberals cheering. Like King Kong just fell off the Empire State Building. Yes! He's fucking banned! The YouTube videos would be spectacular. Do you know how many virtue signaling dipshits would have YouTube videos just screaming and pumping their fists in the air

and pointing to the screen with Donald Trump and says, Owned! You know how many? It would be hilarious. And all he would have to do is do that and go over somewhere else and that new platform would be fucking gigantic because everybody would want to know what he says. And if he says it over there, everybody else would just retweet it on Twitter anyway. It would probably be like killing coyotes.

You know how you kill coyotes and then they make more coyotes? Like a female, when they shout out, that's like a roll call. And if someone's missing, the female makes more babies. That's one of the craziest things about coyotes. That's why they're everywhere. That's what would happen with Trump. If they banned him off Twitter, his signal would be bigger than ever. It would be fucking bonkers.

Like, they're in a precarious situation now, too. Because these social media companies, they're being labeled as someone who would ban freedom of speech from certain people if they don't believe what their ideas. Now, if this happens to be the president, that they say you can't have freedom of speech on our platform anymore, then everything is like out the window. Like, what is this? What are we doing?

And then if it backfires and Twitter loses all of its power and some other fucking company comes along and takes the spot. Some company that promises to never do that to the president. Let people express themselves, but explain perhaps through a fucking series of checks and balances why you can't stalk somebody or be mean to somebody. Does this make any sense?

Is it about him being on the most popular, like Twitter, then like the most popular platform? Because he could do radio. He could do anything he wants. But is it no one's paying attention to the radio or the TV things that he does and everyone pays attention to his tweets? Well, it's interesting because he's got to think.

I mean, he's a guy that obviously he does a lot of business deals. And he does a lot of deals simultaneously. It's the only way he could have as many properties as he has you know he's got trump towers everywhere he's got him in vegas and chicago and all over the world like he's got to be a guy that's always thinking about doing the next thing and if he was like you would think he's like setting himself up as a business it's like he's a business he's he's now not just the president and he's always been a

business he's always been a celebrity and a and you know iconic financial character but now his entertainment like what he says about life and everything is fucking super valuable if trump like trump had that show if he decides to have a podcast do you know how goddamn crazy it would be if donald trump just pulls up has a youtube channel talks into the camera says what he really thinks about everything they release it as a podcast as well and no one can stop him because that's freedom of speech his freedom of speech is let this guy talk do you know if he started threatening people like threatening iran from his youtube channel like what the fuck imagine if world war three is caused by a tweet imagine if

trump threatens someone and they retaliate to show they're not scared we nuked them and then oh my god from a trump tweet is that possible it seems like anything is possible he's probably going to do it right at the end too but the end is a weird one right like is it going to be a few months from now or is it going to be four years from now that's with all this iran thing is it might happen faster i didn't think it was going to happen at all but now maybe this iran thing yeah maybe this is for a purpose he's was going to happen at all. But now maybe this Iran thing. The impeachment thing? Yeah. Maybe this is for a purpose. He's not going to just go.

That's the thing. And there's a lot of people that don't want him to go. The Republicans don't want to lose power. And they're very smart in that even ones that were never Trumpers at one point in time, they've accepted him. He's a fascinating guy. He's a fascinating guy. He's a fascinating, like, human character. If you look at him in terms of, like, just his... Go back to that photo that we're just looking at.

Let me see that in big time. He's a fascinating character, man. And he's also a very strong guy in a lot of ways, like, mentally strong in terms of what he's been able to accomplish, all the business deals, always believes in himself. There's something about that that gets other people and they sort of like they get a little ass kissy around them and they just they want him to like them. Because if he doesn't like you, it's devastating. If Trump goes after you on Twitter, gets mad at you, devastating. So they all want him to like him. gets mad at you, it's devastating.

So they all want him to like him. So look at them all reaching for him. That's a painting one day that they'll have on the caves. They'll cave paint that. After World War III, after we get nuked into the fucking Stone Age, they'll cave paint how a guy figured out how to be just mean enough, but just nice enough, and have all these people like him and literally be able to kill someone with the press of a button. And then everybody wants to touch him. Like, look at that.

They're reaching for him. They're reaching. Look at the guy in the back. They're all reaching. It's like a Michelangelo painting. Bro, it is. And that this guy somehow got into this crazy position from hosting a reality show and getting really famous by telling people

they're fired. And now all of a sudden he's deciding whether or not they can nuke generals into another dimension from a robot that flies and just shoots missiles. And the missiles are called Hellfire missiles.

Did you hear that new, I think Russia has it, that Super Saigo's Mach 27? Oh, Jesus Christ. They drop it from space, and it just roller coasters itself in, and I guess we don't have a thing to stop it yet. It's 27 times the speed of sound. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is the Space Wars shit.

This is why Trump wanted to have a Space Force. When I heard about a Space Force, I was like, what are you doing, man? Space Force. But here's the other thing when you're 74 or whatever he is do you realize you're 74 are you just alive i think you're just alive especially if you're on diet pills then i think you're really just alive you're out there you're just fucking grinding you're just like grinding because that's how you do it. You just go out there and you kick ass. He's not thinking about riding off into the sunset. He's not thinking about any of that shit.

But people, we think that way. When we see someone at 74, we're like, oh, by the time he's 78, he's going to want out. He's not going to want out. He's not going to want out. He's alive. Is he alive? Yeah. He's going to keep going.

Especially if you're stimulated. If you're artificially stimulated. You know? I mean, I'm talking right now while I'm drinking coffee. That's why I'm so excited. Is he TikToking yet? I hope he does. I hope.

That'd be great. I TikTok. My first TikTok was almost 3 million in 24 hours. Jamie says they fuck with the numbers. Yeah. They have to, right? Yeah. My comments were in the thousands, though.

But maybe those are all robots, spam robots. I don't know. Well, they're obviously working overtime to try to get it big, and a lot of people are jumping on board. Kevin Hart just got on board. That is a big acquisition. I can't do it, man. And The Rock.

The Rock got on board. That's another big acquisition. I took all my social media, and I put it in a folder that says addict. I put it on my last page, my iPhone. And I got a smaller iPhone. Oh, you did? Which one did you get? The little one.

Oh, yeah. That one's better. The regular one. Yeah. There's an article in New York Times this weekend that TikTok groups are taking over the YouTubers of Hollywood and moving into mansions and like... Imagine. Whatever they're...

I don't know. I don't know how that works. Imagine. How are they making all this money? I don't understand it, but imagine. A TikTok president. This is our first TikTok president. Maybe it could be you, dude.

What? No. Yeah. Could be. We could make that happen, I think. What if it was the whole staff of Shark Tank? That would be a good idea. That they would be the presidents?

Yeah, but they all work together. Not a bad idea, right? I think a bunch of successful, reasonable people, and I don't mean successful financially even, just scholars, maybe even business people and scholars mixed together. That would be the right way to run the country, like a committee where you could see the way they interact with each other in real time so everybody would have access to all the communication unless it's anything to do with national security. Obviously, they can't let everybody know

that they're going to bomb that guy in Iran. They can't do that. But it would be really interesting if policy issues, economic issues, if all those things were discussed publicly. Like if you saw these guys, like if you saw the guy who is, you know, one of the 10 people who is the president, right? And you saw them all present evidence and they all go over the work and they look at it. This is what it's projected if we don't cut carbon emissions.

This is what we know. And this is the hyperbole. This is the clickbait that you hear. This is the reality of it, and this is where we're at now. And here's our possible solutions. And we'd all just sit around, and they could look at the budget even. Say, okay, we're going to put X amount of billion to this and Y amount of billion to that, and then we're going to put a significant amount.

And we can go, wait, why are they doing it that way? Like everything else, right? The internet has allowed people to communicate and bitch and piss and moan about everything else. But not really on the inner works of government. They're still doing it in these rooms. They're still doing it tucked away. You can watch some of it on CNN, but some of it you don't get to see.

It's all tucked away. National security, national interests interests secrecy so i mean you give people the option to have stuff like that like gigantic worldwide decisions that are made by a handful of people that is kind of crazy it's kind of crazy that someone whether it's trump or anybody could make that decision like this might throw us into nuclear war, but we want to let these motherfuckers know what's up. Let's take a rocket and kill that fucking guy. You want to do it?

Let's do it. Let's fucking kill that guy. The fact that you can do that, the fact that you, how many people do you think were involved in the decision to kill that Iranian guy? I read that it was, there was some sort of like PowerPoint presentation given to Trump and it

was the last slide was like, this is our option. Another option is doing this. And unexpectedly, he picked that. Yeah, he picked the craziest one, like the killing. I don't know what the other options were. He's like, I'll take the Adderall option for 10, Alex. Wow.

See, that's what's crazy. So that's one person. That's even more crazy. Like one person gets That's even more crazy. Like one person gets to make that call. Like we always thought there was like so many checks and balances. Like don't. This is what I kept hearing from reasonable people like Brian Callen.

He won't be able to get anything done. Once he gets in there, it's just like there's so many systems and checks and balances. This is the reason why the founding fathers were so smart in the way they set up the Constitution and set up our government. Well, if he can fucking start World War III, if he can do that and that starts World War III, yeah, they missed that part. You fucked up. You missed the Twitter part, too.

They're going to have to change that right after him, right? Oh, and we're adding no Twitter. No Twitter. Mild TikTok use. This is crazy. I feel like this is yeah in some way related kevin spacey yeah yeah crazy video he put on his youtube channel yeah well this is he keeps doing that character and people keep on dying bro right but how did the guy die suicide was it suicided did you see the list of how many people have died? That were involved with Kevin Spacey?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Is there a lot? Yeah, there's like three or four or something like that. All those accusers, I think. Imagine if it's the actor from House of Cards, the actor that was his assistant that killed people for him. Imagine if that actor.

Yes. Imagine if Doug, if the guy is so deep into his character that he goes out and whacks all, because it was the best role he ever got. I could see that. Do you think Kevin Spacey would get pissed if we play this? Maybe. Just like Maxwell's going to show up in his next one, I feel like. Right. Just the third hanging out somewhere.

But it's so strange that he's doing it like this. You know what I'm saying? I mean, this is a character. Look, he's rustling the fire for no reason. I know what you're thinking. I'm dead serious. It's not that hard, trust me. The next time someone does something you don't like,

you can go on the attack, but you can also hold your fire and do the unexpected. You can kill them with kindness. What the fuck? He says this and then the guy commits suicide. Bro,

what is this world? Imagine if he threatens everybody and starts getting jobs again. People are like, I don't know how he's doing it, but everybody's dying. Let's just hire him, man. House of Cards would be fucking huge. Just hear me out. Season 9.

We never showed that he was dead. We never showed that he was dead. The last season, when they had no him, I was like, what are you doing? Okay? What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing here? What did are you doing what are you doing here what would you do to my show this ain't my show this is like oh my god everybody's watching us that's what the show was now oh my god everybody's watching everything we do oh my god now what do

we do that show seems so like nervous didn't it the first episode it was like they didn't have like a regular house of cards episode it was like everything was like a little bit barely glued together it's like and i try to figure out how to say how he was gone or whatever too right and it's like i wonder if like they were reluctant i wonder if they're like just keep on the show there's not many people to watch i'll apologize they didn't have to re-film like they did that other movie. They didn't even start yet, right? Do you remember? Because there was a movie they made where they had to go back and shoot with somebody else that he was in.

That's right. Yeah. That's right. It was done. Yeah, they had to re-shoot it. He was great in Baby Driver. He's a great actor, man. He's just a crazy fuck that grabs dicks.

The one guy that died, died though one of the reasons why i mean i'm not really that i don't i don't think that this would warrant a murder all they did was uh they were hanging out and uh he said kevin spacey reached down and grabbed his junk and said let's go get some air and uh he got mad and said no what the fuck but do you think someone i mean would that be a reason why kevin spacey would kill you for saying that i mean how many people is he gonna kill do you think he killed people what do you think i want to know your honest opinion what if he always killed people ke Kevin Spacey settles assault lawsuit following death of accuser. That was one week after that video was posted.

Whoa. He settled it. Now, there's, I think Sam Tripoli or somebody posted like a list of all the people, and there was like four or five people. Tripoli might have added some. Yeah, I mean,

one was- Tripoli loves it. Tripoli's in his glory. But look, this is a real, all this shit that's happening is a real, it's a good time to be a conspiracy theorist. Oh, yeah. Because there's a few of them that aren't ridiculous. There's some juicy ones right now. Like, fuck this Jack Ruby shit.

Let that one go. We don't know, folks. We're never going to know. But I'll tell you what, we got one in front of us right now that rivals that we got quite a few of them and how about that the first british um astronaut the first she's a woman first woman in space i think from from britain too i think i might be wrong about that but she was talking about aliens that aliens definitely exist they're definitely out there astronauts aliens definitely exist. They're definitely out there.

Astronauts. Aliens definitely exist, and they could be living among us on Earth, says Britain's first astronaut. Powerful Britain, first astronauts to check. All those dudes over there just must have been too polite. Let her get the gig. Wow. Yeah.

Good for her. That's a badass move to be the first astronaut who's a woman from a country like that bitch run shit right you got to be powerful because think about how many british dudes are in like space force whatever the fuck they have over there what do they have they have the ss people like what no it's not ss that's that's the nuts the nazis what do they have they have the ss people like what no it's not ss that's that's the nuts the nazis what do they have they have mi6 but they have a s something what do they have like uh what's their version of like the cia well now i'm thinking james bond that's the mi6 but i think there's a thing five they have something secret service and sis is that's what it is sis that's what it is i'm saying ss i'm like no they're not nazis don't But I think there's a thing. They have something. Secret Service and SIS?

That's what it is. SIS. That's what it is. I'm saying SS. I'm like, no, they're not Nazis. Don't. Fuck, you're ruining it again. It's the same thing as MI6.

That's what it's called. Is it? Same thing, yeah. Yeah. Like, think about all those people that they must have had in their Air Force. All the men. And then a woman gets to be the first person in space. That's pretty badass.

Or somebody wanted a woman to be the first person in space. And they made sure. That's possible. I don't know, though. But if it's the former, I like to think positive. I like to think she kicked everybody's ass. Became the first woman in space. That's got to be a a trippy trippy fucking thing

first person from a nation to be launched into the gases above our head and to see the blackness the blackness of no atmosphere she was just the first british woman right yeah i think the first british person yeah that's what it said right uh i was always more of that challenger chick oh the teacher man I remember that I remember watching that at a girlfriend's house good hair I went to visit her she lived in western Massachusetts had to drive

all the way out there it was like I think it was a couple hours and um in the morning I watched it on television after the fact like it I wasn't awake when it actually happened I watched I watched it on television after the fact. I wasn't awake when it actually happened. I watched it after I woke up. I remember seeing that thing blow up.

Yeah. We watched it with our whole fifth grade class, our whole school, when I was in fifth grade. Is that her? Sally Ride. That's the woman? Yep. But that's not the school teacher. That's not the girl from Challenger, right?

She died. She's an astronaut. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. The girl who was the school teacher, there's not the girl from Challenger, right? She died. She's an astronaut. The girl who was the school teacher, there was a woman who they brought on board who was just a school teacher. And that was like the big, it's a weird thing, right? It's like, it's okay if certain people die. But like a school teacher dying made it way worse. Yeah. She had more of a perm.

Think, how do you say that? Krista McAuliffe? Yeah. Yeah. She had more of a perm. Think, how do you say that? Krista McAuliffe? Yeah. Yeah. When that lady died, everybody was like, oh, man. But if it was like all astronauts, just like all dudes who wear aviators, mirrored sunglasses, or hard-ass fucking chiseled faces, we'd feel bad. But we wouldn't feel as bad.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I felt bad. That was hardcore. That like nine our first 9-11 i think when that happened something it was a minor 9-11 in terms of the amount of death but in terms of the shock that it had on our system yeah because i think i think we all thought that we were going to space and like that this was like space 1999 was going to turn out to be right because that was what is that i graduated in newton south class of 85 so that was the year after that it was 86 bro yeah that's we thought we were all going to be in space we thought that they retired the apollo program and they just started doing the shuttles and really they're just ramping up the infrastructure of space and eventually we're going to be living on the moon.

I remember when they said they were retiring the Challengers and all the shuttles a couple years ago. I was like, what? No. I wouldn't. That was sad. Yeah. And then Elon Musk has got some crazy fucking spaceship he's trying to shoot people in the atmosphere with. He's going to be in charge of Space Force.

That's the guy. He's going to be in charge of everything, man. But it's interesting. People forget he was a part of something in the Trump administration when it first happened. When Trump first got in office and he left when Trump backed out of the Paris Accord, the climate accord. That was the case, right? Yeah, there's like a group of business people that I think they all left together or something. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a... One guy has a lot of power, man. Updated news on another story? Harvey Weinstein indicted on new sex crimes in Los Angeles. He just went on trial today in New York on his other charges. These new charges just dropped in an hour ago. Jesus.

What kind of sex crimes? No. Sexual assault charges. One woman sexually assaulting another. Separate incidents over a two-day period in 2013. They allegedly raped a woman. Okay, so he still has charges against him. I thought for some reason all his charges have been—

Oh, no, yeah, he's on trial in New York, and this is a separate thing here in LA. You know what they should do with him? They should get him. They said, listen, we're willing to be more lenient on you, but we want to get you in a room just clad in a jumpsuit, and we're going to give you a high dose of MDMA. And we're just going to talk to you, Harvey, about how you feel about people and why you lash out and how did this all get started? What's true and what's not true what did you do to people and what what did people willingly do and is that is that the same thing that's where it gets weird it's like sex as a transaction is one of the it's it's one of the

weirder things about people is that you can do that like it's almost like everyone's a drug dealer right like if someone wants to fuck you the drug is sex like that feeling of sex like that people love it they love it everybody loves it so if someone knew that other people love it and they can get something to let those other people do it. And we go, no, you can't. You can't. Why can't you? But you're doing it anyway just by virtue of your looks, right? If you're just trying to be successful on being good looking in a lot of ways, it's like the entry level of that game.

Like you're doing, you're looking good so that people give you things. You're looking good so that people pay you if you want to be like a professional hot chick or a model or, you know, you're looking good and then people pay you because you're looking good. And we're all like, we have no problem with that. Everyone feels no problem with that. But if you go and do that and then use your body, say, I like looking good because i can get things but if i use my body i get more things so i've been using my body lord you can't use your body you can't what is that we can't imagine if gold diggers it was encouraged and guys liked it too and they're like a bunch of old dudes

I didn't care and it was all free on the internet like that. Everybody would give out information You just I'll take care of your rent. Come over here and tuck this Johnson We just made deals like transactional deals keep it clean That's pretty much what girls do but no, but you can't do it legally. So my point is like We came like webcam stuff That's pretty much what girls do But you can't do it legally That's my point There's so many lazy girls out there That don't want to take a job If they can get $2,000 for blowing some old dude They'd be in on that In a heartbeat

Nothing wrong with that though That's my position Do you think we'll see that legal soon? That should be something soon No, nobody wants their daughter to be a whore What the fuck are you talking about? But it's one of those things. I mean, it's a hypocritical even.

Of course, it should be legal. Everything should be legal. Of course, you don't want your daughter to be a hooker. But of course, everything should be legal that doesn't. See, if it's illegal, people are still going to want it. So if they're going to want it, then you're going to get it where it's illegal. And you're going to get criminals, people that can go to jail. They're going to be the ones that are providing these girls with protection.

They're going to be the ones that also dictate how much money the girls make and how much money they take. And we all know what happens there. I mean, that's Pimp 101. We've all seen pimps up, hoes down, right? And the American Pimp, was that the other one? that was a great one too if it was legal these girls would be protected

they'd probably have the exact same amount of people that were paying for it, actually more would pay for it for sure, if it became legal, what am I talking about? that spot next to the comedy store used to be a brothel imagine if it still was what, Katana? Katana was a brothel? I thought they watched the Sunset Strip documentary. No! I think maybe back in the 30s

probably. It was a while ago. That's why it's so beautiful. It's a beautiful place. Right, it smells good. Imagine what it was like back then. People just, like, Bugsy Siegel. They owned the comedy store, you know? Right? Yeah. That was Bugsy Siegel's place. Can you imagine? People just got whacked back then.

Shut the fuck up. Everyone had a shovel in their trunk. The old photos of the stars and stuff that would go to that are just insane. Insane. Yeah, and that weird peep thing where you can look down from the green room and see onto the stage. So strange. The fact that Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis were looking through there.

Fucking mob, man. The government is kind of a mob. I mean, it's an elected mob. But it's kind of a mob. You know? Especially when you see people like Julian Assange. Where you're like, wait, wait, wait. What are you doing to him?

Why are you doing that to him? What did he do, wait. What are you doing to him? Why are you doing that to him? What did he do exactly? What happened there? He apparently got hacked. Like a lot of people said that like he put out unredacted names. Apparently what I heard that

or what I read was that that wasn't the case. That he put out the stuff with redacted names but someone got a hold of the original copy of it. And they released it. Mexican president calls for Julian Assange's freedom.

Oh, shit, it's going down. Trump wants to talk some shit. Julian Assange in Mexico with Pamela Anderson on the beach doing YouTube. I called it. I called it now. Slow-mo run. Dude, together, holding hands hands talking about the future greta thornburg adopts them what let them out bring them to fucking punta mitad bro do you ever travel

do you ever travel to mexico i love mexico what's your favorite part? Puerto Vallarta. Yeah. Yeah. I love it there. You know what else is dope is Chichen Itza. That's the Mayan ruins in the Yucatan. Fuck, man. That was one where I was walking around and going, what? Who?

How? How? What were you guys like? How? Like, what were you guys like? You guys built giant, huge stone structures that mimic the cosmos. You had specific rooms that were designed for LSD use. At least according to my guide, he was saying that they had some plant that had lysergic acid in it. There's a bunch of different plants.

Like, what do they get them from? Morning glory seeds. Morning glory seeds apparently you can get acid from. And they would take whatever this, they don't know exactly what the substance was. They would trip balls. But he showed me all these different places where they did like human sacrifice,

where they had this game. And the game, what was really crazy was that's the human sacrifice spot. They would put people right on that spot and cut their fucking heart out. Holla. Holla. And look at the dude. The dude's face that you would kill someone on. It's so creepy.

Imagine they're pulling you over there and laying you down on that fucking thing to cut your heart out fuck no that was a weird thing that people used to like to do human sacrifice you know like

do you know about the Mexican pyramid the Aztec pyramid of I think you say Teotihuacan do you know how to say that Teotihuacan

see if we can get an audio so we can listen to how you're pronouncing that word. But that temple, when they built it, afterwards they slaughtered all of the slaves. How do you say that? Here we go. Talk to a professor. How to pronounce. Here we go.

Give me it. Tio-te-wa-con. Damn, what a dope language. What a dope language. Tio-te-t-y-k-a-n damn what a dope language what a dope language t-o-t-y-k-a-n people just like when they believed in magic they had cooler ways of describing things

t-o-t-y-k-a-n I mean how are you like stop and look at that word how are you living 10,000 years ago, barely scraping by, and you have the time to come up with that many words, like that many sounds for one word? T-O-T-W-A-C-H-A-N.

You know, what's your name? Jamie Vernon. Super simple. Comes off the tongue. Zero problems. Same amount of sounds. Where do you live? Ohio.

T-O-T-W-A-Con. Why is it so big? It's actually the same amount of letters, too. Yeah. Eleven letters. Is what? Is my name. Yeah, all together. Same amount of syllables.

But I need a space. Whenever they get words that are too long, it's like run-on sentences. Hey, I need you to pause. It's probably three words. It should be. Make it three words and I'll remember it. It probably was.

Somebody put it together. Doesn't that seem simple? Make it three words and I'll remember it. Make it one big-ass stupid word with a bunch of weird silent letters. I don't know what the fuck you're doing here. T-O-T-O-K-A-N? Okay. You know,

there's a bunch of them words. You know, uh, Ioannou and Jacek? Tony Hinchcliffe's favorite fighter? Former UFC strawweight champion, beast of a woman. Her name, try pronouncing that shit. There's a J and then a Z.

And it starts, when you say it, it starts with a Y. Yeah, you say her last name, it sounds like there's an N. There's no N in there. Yeah, where is it? Young Jacek. How do you spell it? I could not spell it if you put a gun to my head. J-E-D-R-Z-E-J-C-Z-Y-K.

What is that? It's a lot. And the way you say it is Youngung-Jit-Chick. I hope I'm not fucking that up. I'm doing my best. Yung-Jit-Chick. I don't know the actual letter of that second E. Joanna Yung-Jit-Chick.

It's a change-in. J-O and E with a dick. That's a trans-E. Look at that E. It's got a little hanger. A little hanger. How come they don't have the hanger in the large font? Probably to formatting. Somebody fucked up. editor slipped up over at wikipedia wow so

what do you think that trans e means i'll google it is it a j it's it doesn't seem anything like young jay check that's weird when other countries use the same letters as we do, but they don't agree on the sound. It's like, oh, well, we're just in crazy town now. It's a nasal E. E with a little tail. E. Yeah. No, I'm John Jacek.

An E with a little tail. Huh. Nasal E. Too complicated, you fucks. It's like that chick from My C little tail. Huh. Nasal E. Too complicated, you fucks. It's like that chick from My Cousin Vinny. What's her name? Marissa Tomei. Marissa Tomei.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.

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E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. E.. E. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I when we first started. One of them was Jeffrey Epstein. Do you remember what the other one was? You were going to show me the Jeffrey Epstein. So I got such a child. There's the Gervais thing and then George Lopez's comment. Oh, that's it. That's it.

And then there's a bounty on Trump's head? I guess. I don't know how anyone heard it or where they listed it, but I read it on Twitter, and then people were making jokes about it. How much is the bounty? $80 million from somewhere in Iran or I don't know if anyone heard it or where they listed it, but I read it on Twitter, and then people were making jokes about it. How much is the bounty? $80 million from somewhere in Iran, or I don't know. If you go to BetDSI, you can get it. Dude, imagine if they nuked Trump.

Where does the world stand if they only drop one nuke and it's on the White House? Small one, a little baby nuke. Just levels the entire building and everything near it. Well, Iran jumped or dropped out of the nuclear accord. So they're going to start enriching uranium again. Trump, though, tweeted, Iran does not have any nuclear weapons! Hashtag something. Right, but they can get them.

This is so crazy. This seems like, for the first time in a long time, I'm thinking we could go to war with a country. This seems crazy. The internet jumped into World War III memes immediately. Instantly. 24 hours of straight jokes. What do you think happens?

I don't know. I don't even know what's happening right now. Stuff could be happening right now. What did the guy do? Because Dan Crenshaw was saying that he organized the attack on the embassy and that he was organizing other attacks on U.S. sites. He was a bad guy, supposedly. There is some stuff saying he was a bad guy supposedly he like there was there is

some stuff saying like he is a bad guy it's just how trump did it is how the problem uh he did help uh fight isis a lot uh also uh so he he wasn't he was a really bad guy but there was points like he the biggest problem is that trump just went out and pretty much assassinated him you know like instead of dealing with it like an adult do you imagine when they went through all those other like really finely detailed points this is a strategy we can employ or we just take him out with a missile did he i read he was trolling trump too like trolling him on twitter i don't know if that was true if that guy had a guy was yeah and it's like oh my god could you imagine if that guy was trolling trump and trumpigning guy was? Yeah, and it's like publicly talking shit to him. Oh my God. Could you imagine if that guy was trolling Trump

and Trump killed him? Yeah. Oh my God. He was talking about his hands or something. Oh my God. Imagine. Imagine you're talking

about his orange skin, his fake hair, his fucking baby hands. He's like, oh yeah, fucking baby hands. Oh my God. He got into a meme battle

with Trump. No. I might have Googled it too quick. It could be a fake site. I don't think it is. The Daily Dot? Is that a fake site? Maybe it was too quick.

I don't know. The Daily Dot? Is that a real website? I'm trying to confirm. Okay. Does other things look real? Keep his post. Okay.

I don't want to comment just yet because I have a feeling I have a lot to say about this. I want to see what the memes are. It's so crazy, man. It's so crazy that this fucking situation that we find ourselves in, where none of us who are listening to this had anything to do with any of this shit that might kill a million people. None of us. None of us.

And then our leaders. We've been so roped in this fucking Game of Thrones mentality that our leaders are going to make these critical decisions for us and they're going to be in charge of what kind of diplomacy we employ on other nations. They're going to

represent us in the most personal way possible. The way he does it. The way Trump does it, that's personal. That's how he is. So he's standing for for us but he's standing up for himself as a person there's part of that too right like he doesn't want to be fucked with he wants you to know the united states not going to be fucked with me in charge like yeah so it's like him he's the one out there and he's the one they go you can you can just nuke the guy he's like well fuck i'll just nuke the guy. He's like, well, fuck, I'll just nuke him. Commander of the Islamic Revolution Guards Corps Force Major General, how do you say his name?

Qasim Soleimani? Qasim? Qasim? I don't know how to say the first name. Soleimani, I think. Soleimani responded to U.S. President Donald Trump's announcement of sanctions are coming with a Game of Thrones-inspired meme of his own. Oh, my gosh.

And it says, I will stand against you. of sanctions are coming with a Game of Thrones inspired meme of his own. Oh, my gosh. And it says, I will stand against you. And it has the Game of Thrones like O and U. So he put that up and then Trump. Yeah, this is a couple months ago, but he remembers. This is November 2018. He's got that speed memory. Trump can remember shit.

This motherfucker owes me since the 70s. That's crazy. That is crazy. A guy memes you and then you murder him. Woo! Jesus Christ. Baked Alaska better hide. It was a Game of Thrones thing.

It's so crazy. It's so crazy that these worlds have collided. It's so crazy. It's so crazy that these worlds have collided. And then what do you think? Putin is probably laughing his ass off right now. He's probably got his feet up on the chair, smoking a cigar, just laughing and laughing, watching this chaos play out. And then for sure, he's going to help Iran. For sure.

Anything to destabilize is his number one competitor. That's what China's going to help Iran. For sure! Anything to destabilize is his number one competitor. That's what China's going to do too. This is so dumb. It's all so scary. But it's also one of those things where we don't know what the fuck is going on so it could have been the right move. We don't know. I mean it might have been

the thing you have to do to avoid more deaths. China, Russia and Iran hold joint naval drills in the Gulf of Oman. Oh, terrific. That's great. China, Russia, and Iran together. We're getting into some World War III shit here. That's World War III.

That is like when Italy was joined in Germany. I mean, that's what that is. We should probably get away from the coast. Bro. Imagine. in Germany. I mean, that's what that is. We should probably get away from the coast. Bro. Imagine if this fucking guy gets us into World War III by deciding to do that and then have all these crazy threats.

See, the rest of the world does not want to think. This is one of the things. If you think you're the baddest motherfucker and you represent the baddest country, you've got to kind of almost be like a real baddest motherfucker and you represent the baddest country you got to kind of almost be like a real baddest motherfucker like a guy like steve amiochich like a ufc heavyweight champ they don't go around saying they're going to kick everybody's ass because everybody already knows

it and if you you you start saying that you're going to be able to do whatever you want and maybe even do it in a disproportionate manner all the other countries like why do you have any power like who are you man and they said like we're really powerful we all get together bitch you're pretending you're more powerful than everybody that's a weird thing to do it's a weird chess puffing strategy to take on a country that has allies that's where it gets fucked up. It's not just Iran. Iran. It's all Iran's allies. They all get together. Now you have a giant force of people and nuclear weapons.

Congratulations. Did you guys play chess or did you play checkers growing up? How the fuck are you just a tic-tac-toe ace and you didn't see this coming? This is why it's really important to have, you know know people have to be able

to talk they'll be able to have dialogue you see this tweet that he said yes targeted 52 iranian sites representing the 52 american hostages taken by iran many years ago bro that was during the carter administration i think we can let that go it's not the same fucking people those people are all dead this that's crazy so this is more team mentality but that'll get the yokels all the fucking yeah all the dudes just jump off the tractor jacking off into the fields and they hear that like yeah fucking get him trump this shit could get hot it could get hot and it could get real and if he really has the ability to do that, what other calls does he have the ability to do? Is there ever going to be another moment like that where Iran boxes in a ship and then he sends in a fighter jet? I mean, is this going to really fucking happen?

Because then none of us can go anywhere. We have to hide. And we got to get out of la because it's definitely gonna nuke that like this is because imagine the movie if it all played out like that in like a stephen king movie made a thing about a game show host that eventually becomes the president united states and starts a war while he's on speed i do that every day. When I'm really high.

Well, now I'm getting there. I was not getting there before. This was enough to make me go, holy shit. Like, is there a better way to handle that than blasting that guy with a robot from the sky? Like, where did we start? I don't know, man. It's, I don't want to know. Right's i don't want to know right you don't want to know that all over the world these little pieces are in motion they're trying to protect us from terrorists trying to make sure that they stop isis and this sect is growing here and these people are getting shot

there and what about the cartels and they're getting up this month if you will be paralyzed by fear if you took in all the information on all the fucking danger all over the world you'd be paralyzed by fear so i was when i was in vegas while this was happening this weekend if you didn't look at your phone you wouldn't have known any of this was going on no i didn't hear anybody talking about it yeah i didn't either all around that was the good thing about being off social media and this is was my point in the first place. By the time things get to me, it's already been sort of distributed better. You know? I'll have to jump on right away and it becomes the focus of my day long before we know anything.

And I keep refreshing CNN every five minutes. I'm scared. Like legitimately. This is like the first time in a long time since like 9-11 where I'm scared. Like legitimately. This is like the first time in a long time since like 9-11 where I'm legitimately like, oh, this is some real shit. This could be really bad.

Because if he says he's going to do something in a disproportionate manner, he's threatening them. He's calling their bluff. Bro, this is so dangerous. So dangerous. Because all they have to do is just nuke hawaii do something like that where the rest of the world would be like hey hey hey hey what are we gonna do we're gonna kill each other everywhere everyone because that's what could happen this

like mutually assured destruction was always supposed to be the the big impediment that mutually assured destruction if we knew that if we shot them, they'd shoot us, we'd all be dead. That that's what kept us from using bombs. But who the fuck knows, man? What if Iran just says, listen,

if we just sneak a bomb in by the time it's detonated, they won't even have a chance to respond. The whole system will be fucked. Their grid will be down. All their entertainment will be down. Everything will be down. And then the rest of the world can figure out a way to unite together and take over the power that the United States once enjoyed. They were abusing that power.

They were the number one superpower in the world. And they let their guy take diet pills and threaten everybody on Twitter. I don't know if he takes diet pills. He had them in his dresser. But I don't even know if those are his. I just want to say, maybe it's just strong coffee. Maybe it's some of these Jocko energy drinks. What are they?

I don't know. Jocko just dropped them off. Dakota Myers sent them. He's a part of the company, I guess. Jocko is an energy drink. Want some? Sure. Want to get really mad? Right now, this is a good time for these, right? Because we're talking about America.

Jocko's probably one of the most American men that's ever lived. That's right. Last movie used, both Blackface and Retard. Five calories. The last. It'll never be a major movie again, like Tropical Thunder. Right?

Never. Impossible. No? No. Impossible. That's funny when you were saying earlier that if they cut out OJ. Can you imagine if they just cut out OJ and put all the OJ pieces together and made one OJ? Damn, this is good. This shit's good.

No artificial colors, sweeteners, or flavors. Oh, that is good. Sugar-free. Keto. That's right, bitches. So I've been on the carnivore diet. I'll tell you about that. Yeah, that's like a healthier keto, right?

Or a better way to do it. I don't know. It's just all meat. Just everything's meat. I'm not eating any grains, and I'm not eating any carbs. Nothing else. I mean, I had like an olive the other day i had a bloody mary this is the fucking olive an olive so it's not the most strict occasionally

i'll deviate i'm allowing myself two glasses of wine and most of the rest of the shit i'm just drinking either water or uh these kill cliffs these cbd kill cliffs these things are the shit carnivore it's like keto but you're allowed to have fruit or something like that? You're just eating meat. You're just eating meat, like mostly meat. And because I eat a lot of wild game, I have to substitute it. So I have to supplement it with fat. I'm adding other fats to it because wild game, it does not have much fat.

When I read about the people that did this, there was a guy that was with the Inuit. He was an explorer inuit he was a an explorer in the arctic and he was talking about how he lived like that for six months and then it was one of i saw the video somewhere online but it's old black and white footage and that the key was getting a lot of fat they were just drinking uh water and eating meat and they were fine as long as they got a lot of fat they would eat like whale blubber and polar bear bl eating meat and they were fine as long as they got a lot of fat. They would eat whale blubber and polar bear blubber and they would eat all this blubber

to sort of supplement their fat intake. But he said he was very healthy eating like that. I'm just doing it as an experiment. Have you found the guy? Oh, look at that. Probably. I would imagine this is probably it. Truth about the Inuit diet. Maybe not. they didn't

eat any vegetables man i thought this was all black and white it's not all right never mind oh it's a long one too um but yeah those people didn't eat any vegetables i'm just curious i'm just giving it a shot there's they call it world carnivore month so i said okay let me see what jordan peterson is the main reason i want to try it because I really respect his thought process. And I really respect his mind. And when he starts talking about all the different medical benefits that he had from trying it, that he had autoimmune diseases that went away, I'm like, hmm, what is this? And I know a bunch of people personally that have tried it too.

Is this the gentleman? I think so, yeah. Yep, that's him. Yeah. The Homer. Yeah, so he lived up with the antarctic what's interesting is he said that they didn't eat the organ meat they gave the organ meat to the dogs i thought that was really weird because that's definitely been proven to be the yeah that's the guy right there give me some volume on this dude can we do that or will they get us in trouble i know. This is very old. I don't know if this is in the open domain.

Anyway, I'll just encapsulate what he said. He just basically said that as long as they had, yeah, that's the guy, as long as they had plenty of fat. I'm just seeing what it feels like. It's weird. I'll tell you one thing. I do not trust my butthole at all. Mm-mm.

When I feel a fart coming on, I'm like, oh, this could be a disaster. I've had rocketing diarrhea. From meat. That's interesting. From all meat, yeah. This is what Dr. Sean Baker, who's like one of the head carnivore proponents, it's like his whole life revolves around eating steak and deadlifting. It's kind of hilarious. And getting people to eat meat and try this carnivore diet. And some of them

had some pretty radical health benefits. And I'm so curious about that. Because I know that sometimes people convince themselves that something is better for them. And that something's working better and they feel better. And then there's a sort of a placebo effect that can happen when you join a community of people that's also saying the same thing. Like, we're all getting better. We're all feeling better. So I was real hesitant when I first went into it. I was like, okay, I need to know that there's something to this

or this is a nonsense way to eat. Because most of my thought process was this kind of a nonsense way to eat. You should eat some fiber. This clearly benefits eating some vegetables but what's interesting is the the level of energy your energy level it's like right here stays it doesn't go anywhere it doesn't go anywhere i mean at the end of the day i'm kind of tired and then i go to sleep that's weird man because how much of your energy levels during the day is based on your body regulating sugar and insulin how much of it how much of your energy level is based on that it might be a lot this because this is the the

unquestionable difference of this diet unquestionable difference is that my energy level basically has a flat line. There's no roller coaster anymore. And I had less of a roller coaster because I'm pretty healthy and I'm pretty strict with what I eat, but not like this. This is like this. So for the last nine days or so, whatever the fuck it's been, I've had like an olive. I had... Does your body go into ketosis at all? It must. I'm not even checking.

It must. It must be in ketosis. I mean, I'm eating a lot of fat. I'm eating bacon with all these wild game dishes, everything I eat bacon with because I need fat. And then I'm cooking everything in beef tallow. Wow. And then I'm getting like fatty meat too. No butter or anything?

I'm using butter. Yeah, you can drink milk. The idea is like if you were a carnivore, you would take everything out of the body, the milk, the fat, everything. Look, man, it's weird i i see why people would be opposed to it morally and ethically because you don't it would require people to consume a lot more animals because every if everybody was eating meat all the time the consumption the need would go up and it'd be even more slaughter i get it it seems like you're gonna get really bored quick that's very likely that's very likely that i get really bored quick. That's very likely. That's very likely that I get really bored quick.

But it's curious because if I think, and I don't necessarily think this, I'm just saying, if I think this is the best way for me to eat, I'm not saying that. I'm trying it. And I'm basically trying it based on Mark Bell and Chris Bell and even more Jordan because I've talked in depth with Jordan about it. Jordan Peterson is a brilliant guy. And when he was describing his experiences with this diet, I was like, how many people have done this? How many modern, super intelligent, well-read, articulate people like Jordan Peterson have done this diet? I bet it's a really, really small amount, because socially it's unappealing to even say you're going to do.

It's sort of a taboo. You're going to only eat meat? Oh, you're going to eat all the meat? You're not even going to eat any vegetables? What are you, a baby? Vegetables are good for you, right? That's what everybody immediately thinks. I don't know if that's true, though.

I don't know if that's true. One of the things that Sean Baker said is that they're doing tests at Harvard with people who are on this diet for six months or more. I don't know. I'm interested. So I did some blood work today and I'll make that blood work

public. That's cool. I mean, especially if there's anything wacky with it. But then I'm going to do it again at the end of the month, and I'll compare. Wow. That's going to be a long month, I think. I don't know. Because I know with keto, I got so bored.

Bro, my kids are bored. We're not eating steak again. Like, you don't have to eat steak. I have to eat steak. You can eat whatever you want. We'll figure this out. We'll work it out. How many ounces of meat a day do you know, like what you're up to?

Like 24? The good thing is I have a lot of elk that's good but i'm running through it you know i'm eating some big ass chunks of meat is there something that you go to a lot like chicken wings or something like that just because it's easy no um eggs you can eat eggs eggs are easy eggs are really easy to digest too eggs. Eggs just kind of go down. Eggs are great. You know, I wish that coyotes weren't real. Those fucks.

You know, that's one of the things that James Wilkes from the Game Changers told me, where they were doing those regenerative farms where they have these free-ranging chickens, and this is how we're going to get our eggs. He told me they were losing like thousands and thousands of chickens to eagles he said it was so many i forget i wish i could remember what the number was i'll ask him but some insane amount of death was caused by the eagles realizing they could just get a chicken every day. Just swoop in and get a chicken.

They're so easy. They can't even fly. And they're all in one, this one pendant area. That'd be a great video. I want to see that. There's got to be a video of that. Jamie? I'm looking right now.

Thank you. Of course you are. Do you subscribe to the Instagram Nature's Metal? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. We promoted that on here. That shit's scary. Like the wolf with the dogs. Yeah, I try to tell everybody about that. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. We promoted that on here. That shit's scary.

Like the wolf with the dogs. Yeah, I try to tell everybody about that. Yeah, when the wolves kill the dogs. That was so sad. Nature's Metal is one of the best accounts on the internet. All you can eat buffet. Bald eagles prey on farmer's chickens. Wow.

Apparently, when eagles find out where your chickens are, you're fucked, man. Because coyotes, at least you can put up a fence and you can have dogs. 2.2 million. Oh, my God. Farmer wins case. Scroll up. Case against after losing $2.2 million worth of chickens to bald eagles. $2.2 million in chickens.

That's 160,000 chickens. 160,000 chickens to eagles. Bro, how crazy is that? And eagles, eagles know you can't fuck with them. That's the difference. If a coyote eats your chicken, you could shoot him in the dick. Nobody cares. Everybody wants you to shoot coyotes.

They'll go after your kids. They'll kill your cat. But eagles, that's America, bro. You can't shoot an eagle. Fuck your chickens. But eagles? That's America, bro. You can't shoot an eagle. Fuck your chickens. Maybe that's why. Maybe he might have. I'm trying to figure out why he won a lawsuit.

But maybe it's because he couldn't protect them. I don't know. Exactly. That's a complete guess. I'm trying to figure out what he's saying. He's allowed to kill bald eagles. Yeah, because it protected bald eagles. So he couldn't do anything about that, I guess.

Now, are bald eagles protected because they're very rare? Or is it because they're very rare and they're a United States bird? Like, you know, they were trying to, there's one thought at one point in time of making a puppy the United States bird. Or the United States animal. It was a pit bull, I think. Not a puppy. It was a pit bull. Yeah.

It was in the early days a pit bull. Yeah. It was in the early days of the country. Oh. I thought it was like recently. Least concern. Least concern. So they're protected, but they're of least concern, especially in some areas, apparently in Alaska. Brink of extinction in the late 20th century, it says.

Uh-huh. That's what it is. Brink of extirpationation extra yeah yeah in the contiguous united states so that means alaska is where the big amount of them transferred to a list in 1995 transferred to the list of endangered species and was removed from the list of endangered and threatened wildlife in contiguous states on june 28 2007 they're flying monsters that's our bird you see the one video of the the eagle i think it was like a not a cow and they're just like rolling down the hill constantly yeah goat goat yeah he pulls the goat off the rocks and bashes his brains in on the rocks on the way down. He rides them down, too.

He even got fucked up a little bit, it looked like. What is... What was the... Oh, there's... Look at that. The goat's probably like, what the fuck is going on? Do you know, those aren't even heavy. Those eagles are really light, man.

Really? Yeah, they're like 10 pounds. Oh, that's the... They can kill a wolf. They grab a sheep and fly with them that's probably not real look how that is real dude ah that's real no that's a photoshop come on make it real that's not real eagle that's photoshop there's no way you can get that picture man there's that's the lighting is so different white shit come on just make it

real sorry why can't that be real come on if If there was a GoPro that was that close to that, that'd be the greatest video on the internet. Oh, that's a rap, bitch. The one where he's holding a fish or something? Oh, that's fake. Some of these look fake. Yeah. That one looks like a... The thing is, the ones that really looks like it's not really a bald eagle doing it.

Golden eagle. Yeah. People just having fun. Yeah. That eagle's carrying Andy Rock, or Chris Rock. What a crazy animal to have Golden Eagle. Yeah. Yeah. That's all right. Some people are just having fun. Yeah. Fish right in his back. That eagle's carrying Andy Rock, or Chris Rock. What a crazy animal to have as our number one animal. I mean, it's such an emotionless, ruthless beast. Like a wolf would be so much better.

Wolves are cool, right? They howl. They look at you. You can make a deal with them. You you. You can make a deal with them. You know? You can make a deal with a wolf. That's how wolves became dogs. Humans made deals with them, right?

They're like, come here, man. Don't eat me. I'll give you some of this. I shot at a buffalo. We could all eat, bro. You tell me when other fucking asshole wolves are coming by. I'll keep you hooked up with buffalo. There was that photo somebody posted recently of a woman that had a like half wolf half uh timber wolf how do you see that and it was like two sides two like it was

bigger than her it was oh yeah it was i looked like a monster and it wasn't even a real wolf it was just a half wolf well a lot of those half wolves or whatever they are man that's that's a strong gene that wolf gene if you mix it with a husky, you know, they're big, man. And some huskies are big. There it is. So that's how much wolf, does it say? Timber wolf. That says Colorado wolf in Wildlife Center.

That's a real wolf, dude. That's a wolf wolf. That's not the same one, I don't think. Look how big that goddamn thing is. Imagine if that was a rat and it was trying to kill you. Well, wolves are way scarier than rats. I think it's being added in there. Yeah.

Look at the size of that thing, man. It's got a collar on it, though, no? Is that a collar? Looks like a collar. It looks like something's around its neck, right? Right. Yeah. No?

Maybe not. No, maybe not. It's just the way it was. Epstein. Oh, my God. It's licking her. Oh, right? Right. Yeah. No? Maybe not. No? Maybe not. It's just the way it was. Epstein. Oh, my God. It's licking her. Oh, God. Fuck that.

What would you do if she just reached down and started jerking it off? Did you see that video going over the break with that guy who has a pet tiger, and it comes at him, and he just sticks his hand in its mouth? Oh, stop. And it doesn't... It's his pet, but... I can't. Does that motherfucker not know about Siegfried and Roy?

How does he not know about Siegfried and Roy? How does he not know about Siegfried and Roy? Don't do that. Hey, what do we know about the bounty? Was all that we were looking at before? I deleted that thing. We were looking at something. You were trying to figure out what was it that we were trying to figure out was actually true. $80 million bounty.

Is that what it was? I heard earlier it was $50 million, but let me check. Listen, if nobody pays $80, then, you know, somebody comes along and they say, I want to do it for $45. Yeah. An $80 million bounty on Trump, George Lopez jokes, we'll do it for half. That's so funny. I guess you're not allowed to say that?

Well, it's about killing the president. Someone at the funeral said that if they bring him his head, $80 million. Whoa. 80 million citizens contribute a dollar. Oh, no, sorry. If they did is what it said.

Someone stole that. Oh, if each of the country's 80 million citizens contributed one dollar there'd be an 80 million dollar reward for anyone who brings us trump's head george lopez says we'll do it for half that's uh that's what a comic says folks that's funny any other time it's uh you know what man when anybody could be the president right in this sort of manner is it really the same thing to threaten the president, right, in this sort of manner, is it really the same thing to threaten the president? Is it the same thing as threatening Lincoln?

Is it the same thing to threaten Trump in a joke? To threaten a guy, just think about it, who is a former game show host, who's a noted baller, right? A character in many, many rap songs because of his balling. And he likes to talk shit on Twitter. You can't make a joke? You can't make that joke? Like, we'll do it for half?

You can't make that joke? Some of the rap guys have gotten in trouble for what they've been saying in their songs, though. I know, but that's a weird one. I mean, he's still the president, as much as it's... I know, but that's where it's weird. Yeah. It's like, what does that mean? What what does that mean it means you're better than everybody

everybody definitely better than everybody i can't pretend we're gonna kill you even talking about it i think you can get in trouble what happened to kathy griffin when she showed that rubber head she had that rubber trump head nothing right she gets suspended from twitter she lost her career i don't know no she didn She got suspended from Twitter? She lost her career? I don't know. No, she didn't get suspended from Twitter. They gave her a bump in the algorithm. It did fuck her career up. Did it? Yeah, a lot of cancellations of shows.

I'm sure. I think she took some time off, too. Yeah, that's weird. Nobody thought Kathy Griffin was really going to murder Trump, right? Right. That's just an artist type thing. It might have been in poor days, especially since she knew him and she was on his show all of it is crazy man it's all so crazy um what else is going on not much is anything good in the movies i the movies? I haven't done the movies in a long time.

I don't do movies anymore. You give up? I don't even do Netflix shows anymore. I do a lot of YouTube stuff now and documentaries on YouTube. I'm worried about that. What? I'm worried about that, that people are just going to only watch little – I went and saw Uncut Gems, Adam Sandler's new movie.

Oh, what is that? That's a – It's good. Jewelry movie, right? Jewelry. He plays a degenerate gambler that works in the Diamond District in New York and has an event like a crazy night. It's good? It was pretty good, yeah.

I mean, if you don't understand gambling and stuff like that, you might find the inconsistencies like you have with some of those other movies. I heard it's cut really weird, like frantic good i like yeah i like the movie as far as the movie was it was enjoyable two hours at the theater that company a24 has been putting out some awesome movies they did a couple ones i've seen this year i just kind of sort of noticed that that company does them i don't really know who's behind it or anything but they did some other summertime movie, which is about some cult in Poland or something where some girl goes and she gets kidnapped and shit.

That was a pretty cool movie. Didn't hear anything about that, really. I've seen some of the memes about it since then, but randomly went and saw it at the Arclight. I was like, oh, it's a really good movie, actually. Yeah, I'd heard that Adam Sandler is a really good actor. Yeah, I heard it's great. I mean, you've got to think, he's been doing so many silly movies i heard it's edited weird though

like it's like frantic editing or something i wouldn't it wasn't that weird no compared to like other movies like uh what was the one that christopher nolan movie where the guy has tattoos everything and memento where it's like back and forth it's not like weird like that or you can't pay attention or anything i love that maybe mement Memento. That was a weird one. He's got a new movie coming out that looked cool called Tenet. It's all about time

and the way time works and some soldiers going back and forth in the time and the trailer looked fucking crazy. I couldn't explain it off the trailer,

but it's coming out soon. Let me ask you both. Are you guys worried about Iran? Not too much. Are you worried about what's happening here? Are you worried

about these military people making joint exercises? When that happened, what was interesting I was going to bring up is that the LAPD made some tweets that they're going to like,

we're watching LA just in case everybody's worried and they're like, what are you talking about? And they're like, oh, I don't know. We're just paying attention. Huh.

Okay. I'm not worried about it as much as previous type stuff that's happened like what you know like with uh uh like north korea or you're worried more about north korea i was worried more about north korea because that's like an actual threat from i think a crazy person and where i think iran they're just gonna try to kill trump i don't think they're going to necessarily... Bro, if they kill Trump, it's going to be chaos. Yeah, I don't think they're going to be able to do that.

I think, if anything, the worst part has already happened. Maybe. I don't think so. I think there's going to be some sort of retaliation. The funeral that they showed how many people were there. Yeah, the guy was in a Chevy. That's what I noticed. He was in a chevy showed up so i noticed he's in a goddamn american truck respect why why why does this one concern you so much than like you know because it seems like this is the first example of someone

being impulsive someone making this kind of a decision that may be uh strategy experts and real military experts would have had some real good i mean this is just speculating but that they would have some real good reasons why this is a terrible idea and that there are other methods of working things out that it doesn't have to go this way it doesn't have to be and this is not a movie this is real life yeah but do you think they're just going to force them out then like i don't know what just going to force him out then? I don't know what's going to happen. It almost seems like it's too good to be true for people that hate Trump. Sort of, but then if something happens, here's the thing.

If something happens, especially something horrible happens. We are like, we have the genes of this wild conqueror, just lust for travel human that was willing to get on a fucking boat and make it over here from Europe and from every other place. And then the slaves that were dragged in here against their own will. And then the other people that were imprisoned here. And then the Native Americans who got pushed out then the native americans who got pushed out and the mexicans got put that's this is all thousands of years of genes right the moment something goes crazy that's when all that stuff comes out like you remember how people were when 9-11 happened everybody had an american flag on their car man everywhere it it became an intense place, a place where you just,

that whole break glass in case of war, like, that's real. If someone provokes, someone does something where we feel like we're really at war, we're going to unite. We're going to unite in a crazy way. And the thing is,

a lot of people are going to love it. They're going to feel great that we're united against an evil cause. I mean, this is why people have employed that strategy to convince their people to get into war. I mean, Hitler did it, right? Didn't Hitler, he burned the Reichstag, right? That was, he did that in order to get people more enthusiastic about his plans i'm pretty sure he did that and i think nero did that with rome as well but i'm an idiot and my memory's faulty

so who knows you know way more than anybody so no four weeks after an arson attack was performed on the reichstag building oh so it was arson so they think he was sworn in, an arson attack was performed on the Reichstag building. Oh, so it was arson. So they think he did it in order to get people pumped up. Like, look, the Fuhrer was right. Man, I've been in the middle of this fourth Native American book, this Blood and Thunder book. That just happened. Like, the reason why I'm worried is not just because of the news not just but also because of these goddamn books where it talks about the native american interactions with

the soldiers and the settlers and fuck that is in our genes man it just happened people were horrible they did horrible things and it shatters this notion that so many of us love to hold on to that without the europeans here the native americans live peacefully they didn't live peacefully with each other no one ever has the native americans slaughtered each other they took each other slave they killed each other they tortured each other the comanches were known for it i I mean, it's horrific hearing these stories. Horrific what the soldiers did, too. Horrific what the human beings of that era, when forced into that conflict, were willing to do and what they were willing to become. That is not that long ago, man.

That's why I'm scared. I'm scared because I feel like we have come so far. It's so safe. It's so safe that people don't even like saying that it's safe we like we like to be in denial about it and focus on so much of the inequality and inequity inadequacies and all the problems and the violence and the this and the that and they're right about all those things but goddamn this is a soft time to live and if some shit hits the fan you're all going to know that when you're really worried about your life every day when your loved ones really could get shot and killed by someone who's a mile away with a scope, because that's what's been going on. If that's what it comes down to, you're going to understand how soft we had it. You're going to really know how soft we had it.

And this is that cycle that everybody says, right? Hard times make strong men. Strong men make easy times. Easy times make weak men. And men this is a common it's just how human beings are we need a motivation to kick ass we need we need some reason to rise to the top we need some reason to go out there and conquer and that the best reason is if we get attacked if we get attacked we're going to go crazy it's going to be horrible i'm really scared like i'm legitimately worried that people some people are losing their grip on what violence actually means. And what war actually means. Because it's not happening over here.

And because it doesn't happen over here, the only ones that can tell us are the ones that went over there. The ones that went over there and come back, they do not paint pretty stories. They paint stories of ugly people and dangerous people. And they're like, you've got to and they're like you got to be vigilant because you got to be diligent and you got to be vigilant because this world is not what you think it is there's a lot of parts of this world that are fucking chaos ridden and filled with crime and filled with murder and filled with death and filled with despair and there's money there and there's terrorists and there's these religious fundamentalists who want to throw gay people off roofs and that shit's real that's happening in 2020 right now somewhere in the

world they're probably planning on throwing a gay guy off a roof whoo because some some person wrote that down 2 000 years ago or whatever it was fuck how was ice fishing i can't believe you went on that ice man was disconcerting was that scary almost as disconcerting as like thinking about whether or not i should fart like whenever you like this could be a bad idea like walking with this diet walking out onto that ice it was only four inches thick i was like oh it's fun though did it make the cracking sound when you know it's solid as fuck there's a lot of people out there too me and my friend brent went and caught a couple rainbow trout it's nice ate it for uh for lunch it's weird though it's a weird activity freezing your ass off and you're standing still i

don't like shit when you stand still like my least favorite way of hunting is uh in a tree stand just sitting around but it's also it's kind of crazy when it happens like if you're hunting a deer in a tree stand it's most of the time you're just trying to keep your shit together like you might sit stand still for eight hours just stand still or sit down depending on how you do it some people lean against a tree you're harnessed in there's a bunch of different kinds of stands some stands you stand on some stands you you sit down on some some are homemade and you just it's just a mind game just to sit and wait sit and wait sit and make no sound so the deer don't know you're there and then they walk through going to their normal corridors and you're gonna line it up

and while they're while they're walking a lot of times you stop them you have to stop them you have to go no and they turn and then you hit them with the arrow it's weird that's the but that's that sitting still shit in the cold oh i don't doing that When you move around in the cold it's not that bad If you have to go somewhere and you're well protected Like I went skiing this past weekend And I had a face mask on That's a game changer son Neoprene face mask if you're going to ski

That's a game changer And it had the holes for the mouth so I could breathe And I was like this is a game changer Now I'm not cold I'm like, this is a game changer. Now I'm not cold. Like, I'm not even cold. First time you used one? Ever.

Really? Ever. Yeah. They just didn't tell you about it? No, I just thought it was for pussies. What? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?? I'm not good for my eyes. I'm like staring out the mouth to the mouth to the mouth to the mouth to the mouth to the But I have gone out without goggles, and your face gets burnt. It's weird. Your face gets burnt, and your eyes don't look so good either.

It's like, this is not good for my eyes. I'm like staring at a light bulb. Yeah, it's very bright up there. I've sunburnt my eyes before. I couldn't see for days. Yeah, that's a real thing, right? It's called snow blindness, right? Yeah.

I wiped out though hard. I was a little worried. This lady lost control in front of me. I was going around a corner and this lady just slid right into traffic. Just went sideways. Just didn't have... She was probably just starting. It looked like she was just starting out and I tried to avoid her.

And lost my left leg. Went flying up and then I hit my head. Bang! Like had a helmet on, of of course snow wasn't really too hard packed but it was a good ding like i got a little dizzy and i was like oh shit that's some brain damage i didn't need wow so do you always wear a helmet always yeah you don't want to die remember wearing a helmet bro you could die you could die pretty easy without a helmet you definitely could i could have died from that even with a helmet people fall and hit their head and they die i mean i'm not i'm sunny i'm not

worried that i was going to die when i fell i don't want to get you wrong but some people would have died from that same thing like an older person or a person with an issue right i think this weekend liam neeson's wife the woman who created created Orange's new box since her son passed away. Yes. Yeah. 20. He was in a skiing accident, right? Yeah.

Intermediate hill, I think. What did he do? Did he hit a tree? That's what Sonny did, right? Hit a tree? Sonny Bono hit a tree. So did one of the Kennedys. Whew.

Bro. Skiing's dangerous. You're taking these crazy risks with all these people that might not know how to ski. It's so fun. Beautiful up there. Very fun. Very fun. Very beautiful up there.

Fun times. It's a good family thing. And I think it's really good for kids to learn the kind of chaos that comes from skiing down a hill. That's chaotic, man. Do they snowboard or ski like a grown adult? Yeah, they ski like a grown adult yeah they ski and um they ski like a grown adult and then uh tubing is another thing that's fun that's tubing that's the tubing is no risk though you don't learn the lessons you learn from skiing skiing you learn

how to keep your shit together because you're you're in control no one's holding your hand you're going down this fucking stupid blue hill when you're not really ready for it and you gotta go sideways sideways, sideways, sideways, sideways. I was fine. I was doing good until the last day. Some lady loses her shit right in front of me. 90s when skiing was more like a cocaine party event. People used to, instead of tubes, I don't think they had lots of tubes out there,

but they would take the cafeteria trays and just slide down on those. You know, crazy fucking college kids. Yeah, cafeteria trays are good. Trash can lids. from avalanches this dickhead wanted to go off road and sorry dickhead sorry to call him a dickhead rather sure he's just a man man with dreams you know a gopro dudes want to you know they want to make those videos and look like badasses they tell you never to do that too i feel bad for calling dickhead just to figure speech folks There's a lot of those guys. One guy that was on the show once with the rock climber.

Oh, Alex Honnold? Yeah. Yeah, he's been on twice now. Yeah. He scares the shit out of me. Me too. I've been watching a bunch of these videos of him.

YouTube started recommending him to me. And I watched that. I watched like two weeks ago. I watched like four or five in a row. I watched like two hours of Alex climbing these horrific fucking mountains. And even thinking about it right now, my hands start sweating. No. Imagine finding yourself halfway up and not wanting to do it anymore.

And you have this life-changing moment. You're like, I don't want to do this anymore. But you've got to keep going, bitch. Fuck. I like the trail running videos where they're on the spine of a mountain. Oh, no. No, I don't like that at all. I don't like that at all.

I can barely stay upright when I'm running on a regular trail. I think they have that new workout machine, not the Pentagon or whatever it's called, but the other one where it shows. What's it called? Patreon. Peloton. Peloton. Peloton.

The Pentagon. it shows what's it called Patreon Peloton Peloton but they have the Pentagon you sound like Jerry Diaz there my fucking cocksucker what the fucking Peloton but they have the other new one where it's like it's like where you're

jogging on the side of a mountain or something like that oh yeah yeah yeah it's like that yeah one of those life runners 40% incline

and you like follow a trail runner. That is cool, yeah. Well, there's something about it. I've done elliptical machines that show you a trail. When I was in Hawaii, the gym had this elliptical machine, and you could start running a trail. And while you're doing that, it feels like you're getting somewhere.

Yeah, but there's something different when you're literally walking up to Runyon and you're looking at the dust and you're going to die and then you turn around and you see the entire skyline of Los Angeles. Right, you win. You can see from miles and miles, yeah. Yeah, you win. That's way better. Yeah, it's better.

You're right, 100%. VR elliptical. Is that a thing? You fall off and die. You'll fall off and die. No, they had this thing called the unidirectional treadmill. And the way it works is like that other treadmill that we have, the Air Runner. When the Air Runner, you do it by using your own feet to propel it.

They'll have that with a unidirectional treadmill, and then you'll be harnessed in at the waist. So there'll be some sort of cables and some sort of a suspension system so that you can't ever actually fall out of it, but you won't feel it too much while you're just running around. So it just sort of like roughly guides your treadmill in which way you want to go but you always you always go you never hit anything you never run into anything still seems nauseating somehow for sure your body's going to be so confused it's going to be weird man but it's

it's the future we're getting one step closer i don't know how much is going to be announced at ces this weekend but i saw these gloves a couple weeks ago. They're like, I believe the first haptic feedback gloves for VR in development. You're going to put them right on your dick, right? Yeah. Get my haptic on.

How much virtual reality porn is there? It's still not good. Tell me. There's a lot. He's like the Cisco and Ebert of Virtual reality porn is there. It's still not good. Well, tell me. There's a lot. There's a lot. He's like the Cisco and Ebert of... It's just not good. I don't know.

Like, it's not... It doesn't... I don't know. It doesn't feel that insane. You think it would be amazing sitting there, but then half the time, videos, you're like, wait, I'm the woman and I have the boobs?

No, wait. Oh, really? Yeah, it's like... Oh, you look down like you're a lesbian and you watch... You watch other lesbians. Is that what it is? Or guys fucking you. It's like, that's not what I want.

That's not what you want. Yeah, you can't look down from the guy either. Yeah. Someone's got to make an interactive one, and I don't know, that sounds very difficult to do. Yeah. Just I was thinking about, like, you can watch a video, but if you want to grab something and have a reaction happen like

Yeah program that if Iran really wants to cripple our world. That's what they'll do They'll develop that game think about how people can't put down roblox or or fucking Candy crush what other wacky games people can't leave alone. Just imagine how bad it would be if that thing made you come a Game that makes you come great the better you do the better it feels when this game sucks your dick do you know good people be at that game so is there a limit per day then think about how difficult it is right for for someone to get so good at bmx riding that people want to fuck you not saying it's impossible it's possible for sure that a lot of like the high level bmx guys girls just throw themselves at

them right guys are savage out there doing flips and shit think of how good you have to get at that before someone actually wants to suck your dick you got to get really good right for that being the reason why they want to have sex with you that's the reason so now think about it let's cut the human choice thing out of it and make it just uh a level that you have to reach in this video game make it just you have to be really good at this video game, and then this Russian robot lady sucks your dick. But you feel it in real life. Do you know how good kids would get at it? Or it'd be the fastest

hacked game of all time. Just cheat codes. That's good. It's just impossible to do. Right, because unless we connected it to some sort of fucking blockchain grid that's impenetrable, and that's the only way you could get out the Russian fuck doll.

That's the only way. You can hack to a million jizzes a day fast. Yeah, but you can't hack. You can't hack. You have to show your skill at every level. Like a speed run. That's a speed run. I don't know.

I'm just trying to think. Is there a way to not hack? You're a fatalist. You've killed my dreams. Yeah, we were talking about prostitution earlier. That would that would be like how are you going to stop that how are you going to stop that if you say you can't pay for sex okay but can i pay for a thing that feels exactly like sex and i think it's sex while i'm doing it or is it like if you get into a simulation the simulation lets you murder people and then you come out of the simulation like, hey, you're going to jail.

But there wasn't even a real person. Yeah, but you're the kind of piece of shit that if that situation happened, you would kill somebody. You just killed somebody. And you didn't even know it was a simulation. Therefore, you're a piece of shit. That's a thought crime. You can't pay, but you can give gifts, right? You trade gifts.

You can. You can be, I'm a happy fellow. I like to give away money to beautiful girls. You need to get your toes done. I need to get my cocks out. What do you say? Live it or die. I don't think you can spell it out.

I don't think you can say, like, hey, I'll give you this Ferrari if you fuck me. Well, it doesn't have to be a Ferrari. I mean, there's got to be a limitation for the value. Listen, if you're Bill Gates, you might want to just start throwing Ferraris around. Everybody knows you got $90 billion. Derek Jeter gave away those nice gift bags for everyone. That's hilarious. Signed baseball. That was just a nice consolation prize thanks for fucking me i'll see you later the thing about girls never have to feel bad about banging their fans like if uh if someone

like miley cyrus wanted to start fucking her way through the hottest guys that like her everybody'd be like you you go, girl. Imagine if Miley Cyrus started giving out gift bags every time she fucked dudes. Hey, thanks for the dick. Have yourself a little fucking nut cake. Have yourself a fruit cake. This is my favorite vegan coconut drink.

See ya. Left by the door. Kick rocks. Kick rocks, you pervert. Did you hear that Instagram girl? She got banned from Instagram. She was an Instagram chick. And so she got to help out.

She decided to put out for $10, she'll send you a naked picture. In one week, I think she's made $'s made uh like 700 000 for donations for the australian fires yeah for the australian fires but she's kicked off of instagram for that no no i think she got kicked off at instagram and so she's like you know what i'm just gonna start selling pictures of me naked then oh i think instagram to have her back on she's doing a lot of good yeah they should for real she's raised that much money to help the Australian wildlife? Yeah, they deactivated her account, it says. Come on, man.

She violated rules about sexual content. Come on. She's doing it for a good cause, you fucks. Whoa. Let her be naked. What are you stopping her from being naked for, you creeps? Why does Twitter let you be naked, are you stopping her from being naked for you creeps why does twitter let you

be naked but instagram doesn't twitter's better the naked philanthropist she's only 20 oh poor girl she doesn't know what she's doing yet

oh oh that's nice hip hop hooray I'm sending nudes to every person who donates at least $10

to any one of these fundraisers for wildfires in Australia. Every $10 you donate equals one nude picture from me to your DM. You must send me confirmation that you donated. That girl does not have a lot of hobbies. That must take forever. That takes forever.

She does not have the free time. Damn, she's hot, though. Wow, look at that. Those are definitely real. She raised more than $500,000. Wow, look at that. Those are definitely real. She raised more than $500,000. Wow. That's amazing. Let her back, Instagram.

Come on. But she said she was going to give the money to them and she didn't show pictures. Right? It says she was sending them sex work, I guess. I mean, you're using a transit. I would imagine it's really because Instagram wasn't getting a cut. They're getting a dollar out of every transaction maybe.

That's why Snapchat has like Snap Cash. Yeah, they don't have a PayPal thing and built-in Instagram. Do you think that's what – are you that cynical? I've heard them do that for other things. That's what a lot of the ad changes were about and why they don't let influencers do ad things anymore. It's because they're not getting a piece. Wait a minute.

They don't? Or like why there have been a bunch of changes. Oh. Because they're not getting a piece of all those ad sales that's going directly through the influencer. That's just what I've read online, hey? Interesting. Cynicism.

Yeah. Whenever I see one of those sponsored ads, I'm like, what's happening here? Yeah. You're supposed to put that hashtag ad after everything. Weird. It is weird. It is weird. Ads are weird. Like dudes like holding up a CBD bomb while they're rubbing their legs.

It's weird. You know, it's like social media. The ability to make money on social media is so new. No one knows what to do with it. And it's like porn. This is why it's like porn the fucking the the people in porn always figure out first how to push the boundaries of the technology like technology when it comes to like streaming streaming video high resolution video all that

stuff like that's all pushed a lot of it's pushed by porn. Just the amount of bandwidth involved in porn. Off the charts. This is like that. Don't you think? They must have figured out password-protected content first because there's a bunch hidden that's not free. There's a pay version of those sites, and there's a free version. I don't know how they figured that out.

I don't have money off those things. Who would go to pay? You've got to be a serious pervert to say, what's available online is just not enough for my tastes. I forget somebody we know very well.

I feel, damn it. Has that an account? Yeah, he's just told me, he's like, oh yeah, I'd like to support. And I'm like, fuck. Oh, you're the best guy.

Supports the artist. He wants to marry one of those girls. He wants to marry one. Well, nothing wrong with that. Some people are into that shit. They're like, what'd you do today, honey? Show me your work.

Oh, you bad girl. You bad girl. You took all those dicks. Some guys like that. You're a bad girl. I am a bad girl, daddy. You want to take one more dick? I'll take it for you.

If Starbucks started giving away free coffee, I don't think anybody's going to keep paying for it, would they? Some people would if they knew that it was going to help Guatemala or something. I don't know. Don't you think? I don't know. No? What do you think? If it was like only one kind of coffee.

You know what I mean? If you couldn't get free iced coffees or free cold brews. Lesbian coffee? You could only get decaf for free. Oh. What the fuck is that? I was at a place the other day that only had decaf

espresso it's all they had like we only have decaf espresso i'm like who the fuck drinks decaf espresso because espresso you can't even pretend that it's worth it for those little bitter sips there's still a little bit in there there's still a little bit yeah but it's real small right yeah but like the idea of an espresso is, everybody thinks espresso is way stronger than it is. Yeah, it's not. No, it's not strong. It's just less liquid.

I just like the flavor of it. But I like to know that it's got a little jolt to it. I feel like an asshole if I was drinking decaf espresso. Isn't that weird? Like regular espresso seems totally normal. But decaf espresso, I'm like, why? It's just because people, for health reasons. Like, my mom can't drink caffeine.

At all? No, because it gives her heart palpitations and shit like that. What about the amount that's in decaf? That's, like, so small it doesn't matter. Oh, really? Yeah. I thought it wasn't that small. I saw some people arguing.

Some company's going to stop testing people for nicotine usage. I forget which one. And then people will be like, oh, there's nicotine in all these foods. You're going to test them for that. And then smart people were like, yes, it's in there, but it's so minimal that you have to eat thousands of eggplants to get one pack of cigarettes.

It's like potty seeds. Thousands. Yeah. So your mom, what happened? What was her experience with it? So she gets only decaf espresso because she loves the taste of coffee, but she can't have caffeine. She likes espresso, though?

Yeah. Hmm. And I guess it tastes the same. It's like there's a bunch of different kinds of espresso, right? There's different beans and shit. Some people make it super bitter. The people that love doing that cranky machine, too, pop it in there and crank it and tap it down. I like those Nespresso capsules.

Pop those bitches in. I don't have to think too much. Meanwhile, there's turtles out there choking to death with their belly full of them. Probably, right? It's aluminum, though. It's not plastic. But still. Fuck turtles, man.

When was the last time you saw a turtle? I saw a turtle in Hawaii. Okay, so once. But you see straws every day. They're cool to see. I don't know. I see straws more. Yeah, but here's the thing.

I know what you're saying. The problem really is waste management. That's the problem. How the fuck does the waste get in the ocean in the first place? You tell me it's inevitable, that everyone's so gross that all the garbage has to get in the ocean, no matter what. I don't think that's true. so gross that all the garbage has to get in the ocean, no matter what. I don't think that's true.

I think we need to do a way better job of collecting garbage and treating garbage and treating our own garbage and just come up with a more comprehensive plan to avoid all this shit getting into the ocean. There's just not enough funding in our time, and Greta Thunberg is only 16. She can only do so much. They used to feed it to pigs before they figured out landfills. Oh, really? Did they? Yeah.

Everything? They ate everything? As much as they could, I think. Wow. The restaurant should be fine. Because the pigs got sick. Everybody's sick. And people got sick eating the pig meat.

What is this? Spam was made. I think it was Ari. It was either Ari or Callan. It might have been Callan. They told me they were in China, and there was a restaurant that had a toilet and the toilet was a hole. Ari. Was it Ari?

Yeah. No, no, no. But in the hole at the bottom was pigs. You were shitting into a pig's thigh and the pigs would eat your shit and that this is common. Cool. I'm pretty sure it was Callan. What in the fuck? Ari definitely told me he had a shit into a hole yeah i remember that yeah he also got chased out of a chinese girl's house by a man with a baseball bat right and something about street oil or

something like that like the the food was cooked using like the oil from the streets no no that's a different that's a different story there's a story that i almost forgot about until you just said that that's a story of them that's what ari brought yes yes sewer water sewer water but they were making cooking oil at a sewer water that there's literally people going into the sewer and turning that shit water into cooking oil. I know you're saying there's no way. It makes sense. Of course. I can see Asians doing that.

How dare you, racist piece of shit. No. My girlfriend is Asian, and she likes the grossest shit ever, like blood soup. View from the inside of a pig toilet. So there it is. That's kind of cool look at that I wonder if that pig

thinks he's a lucky pig minority village somewhere in Yunnan province China the pig followed me to the toilet and positioned himself

under it waiting I was very confused when I started using toilet paper for reasons oh my god because it was licking his asshole

yeah I just googled it and like pig toilet just started coming up I tried to shit right on the pig's face. That is so gross. Yeah, I don't know. Now, go see if you find cooking oil made from sewage.

Dun, dun, dun. I know a lot of people are like, wait, what? No, I think it was Vice. I think Vice had a video on it. And it was all about how there's a market for people making cooking oil in these really poor towns they literally climb into the sewers and they take out human shit and turn into cooking oil gutter oil they call it gutter oil gutter disgusting recycled oil and sewage um illicit cooking oil which has been recycled from waste oil collected from sources such as

restaurant fires grease traps slaughterhouse waste and sewage from sewer drains look at that one on the far right says chinese gutter you click on that disgusting this is the video that i've seen before recycled oil andcled oil and sewage used to cook Chinese street food. Jesus. Jesus Christ, bro. They get into the potty, and then they filter all the poop out, and they get the oil. They use filters. Get the oil out of the poop, and then they cook your noodles in that.

Woo! That's why we need regulation. Would you taste it? That's why. No. No. That's why we need America. Young Turks.

It was them. They did one too Oh yeah definitely Yeah this guy opens up Or this woman rather opens up Oh and she's scooping out Please shut that off I literally almost threw up

Is the Young Turks From RT or whatever it's called? TYT. Yeah. Is that the Russian? No, it's a different thing. No. What's the Russian thing that started all the propaganda against 5G?

Oh, that's Internet Research Agency, the IRA. Against who? 5G, where they were saying like 5G is bad for you. Oh, did they do that? Yeah. The IRA did that? I think so. Man.

The 5G shit shit like that propaganda that's interesting it's RT there's an article that says RT America oh RT it's been sowing disinformation

oh RT has been sowing disinformation they're the ones that started all this shit because I guess it's your 5G phone won't hurt you but Russia wants you

to think otherwise oh okay a network known for sowing disinformation has a new alarm. The coming 5G apocalypse. Who is this? Is this New York Times? Yeah.

It's interesting that you said New York Times because in New York Times, if they're printing something, that's one of the places that I kind of say, if they're saying it, it's probably true. Then do you see what they did to Cenk, Cenk Uygur from the Young Turks? He was interviewing David Duke. And he goes, of course you're not a racist. He's mocking him, mocking him.

And they took it out of context, in quotes. And they wrote that he said to David Duke, of course you're not a racist. They try to pretend. Somebody just got too woke for their own good somebody crossed the line they crossed the line they want to stop him they wanted to stop him and so they got over woke they lied that's crazy that's a crazy lie though for that to get into the New York Times I wonder what the fall fallout from that was because that's for them that's got to be very embarrassing that someone actually printed that.

Because they were forced to make a retraction. But the problem with that is when people hear about stuff like that, there's a lot of people obviously working at the New York Times. A lot of people. So it doesn't represent everybody there. But when someone gets away with something sneaky like that, it really fucks over everybody else. Because then all the other people that are making stories, people are going to go, yeah, you're the fucking people that said that Cenk Uygur said David Duke wasn't a racist, when that's clearly

not what he said. Your fucking magazine's fake news. It's all bullshit. You're a shit newspaper. Congratulations. You're going to fuel that. And the New York Times used to have none of that, right? They used to have none of that. They just issued a correction. don't yeah that doesn't

mean anything i don't see anything else from that the correction's too late it's in a newspaper how many corrections uh a year do they do is what the what i would like to know well how many people read the correction versus read the original story that's what gets real weird like if you make something up about someone then put it down or make something, interpret it incorrectly on purpose intentionally, and then you put it out there, how much responsibility does the newspaper have and how much responsibility does that writer have for doing that? They probably don't like him. They don't want him to do it. They figure like, look, fuck this guy. Let's just, he fucking said it.

Did he actually say it? He did say it. I don't know what he meant. Do you know what he meant? Fucking print it. I don't know. I don't know what he meant. Do you know what he meant? Fucking print it. I don't know. I don't know what the process was. But you can't do that if you want us to take you seriously.

But there's still one of the number one. I still take him serious. I take him seriously most of the time. Most of the time. There was another one they did with Conor McGregor. Back when Conor McGregor fought Floyd and they said his face was bloodied. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, no, it wasn't.

He didn't have any blood. You guys are making things up. You can't make things up. Did they retract that? Yes. They did. Because you said it. They did. But they had to. Everybody saw it. You know the arrogance that you have to have to pretend that you saw something that wasn't there or

either that or you're paying attention so loosely before you write the story that you don't even give a fuck how the fight went, and you're going to report on the fight? Come on, man. You can't do that. You've got to stop. You're the New York Times.

You're not a podcast. Get a podcast if you want to spread misinformation and talk stupid shit. That's the difference. Nobody takes us seriously. They take the fucking New York Times seriously. You've got a serious job, okay? It's like if you're a cop You know You got a serious job

You're a reporter Reporting the actual news You got a serious job Because you can You can change the way people look at things And it might be a lie And that's That got us into a lot of problems in the past

People always think they know better, though. They know better than what everybody else wants. That's where it's a real problem. You think you're doing good by withholding information, or you think you're doing good by censoring people. Do you get your news mostly from Twitter or something? I don't get my news from anywhere anymore. I feel great.

I looked at a newspaper the other day. I picked it up and I'm like, what happened over there? Hmm. I forget what it was about. It was a story about something. And I was like, I didn't know that. And I read into it a little bit. It was in the Wall Street Journal.

I was like, I got other shit to think about. It's a terribly irresponsible way to look at things. But I don't know if you can do that much i don't know what the responsibility is like ultimately to completely pay attention to everything all the time i don't know what responsibility you have people get mad at you if you don't completely pay attention to everything that's of importance all the time and they had a point they have a point but you also have a point for like self-management and for mental management to probably pay attention to less shit i feel like i feel healthier and happier when i pay

attention to less shit that's why this iran thing's got me fucked up because if something makes me think about it that means it's in the forefront of the news now it's like big it's a big deal i'm like oh dude do you see that fucking that the meme that someone made and they put up on instagram about uh day after world feminist the day after world war three starts it's it's an old-timey 1950s lady in the oven baking she's she's got her apron on and shit she's got the oven door open she's making some nice cookies hilarious boy all these these teeny tiny whiny beta males that have been posturing for attention and virtue signaling and what a rude awakening it's going to be if war breaks out. War is the scariest shit of all time.

The people are so convinced that no matter, besides all the other threats that face us, disease and injury and accidents and death and all this other shit, that we're absolutely convinced that we're always going to have war like i don't i never met any one person that thinks we're never going to have war again have you there's never been a time where you're going to move canada maybe canada no it's not bad especially they light this place up still i still lean towards texas or colorado texas is a good move i like texas texas is a good move too if you don't

want to fuck with the winter yeah i just can't do the fucking snow the humidity that is a little too much it's rough yeah it's real rough down by the ocean like houston area that gets rough in the summer remember that fuck that we'd be there in like july and august i'll be like fuck it gets hot yeah i'll be there in two days what are you doing uh kill tony's oh we're at which comedy shows uh secret group and the lol comedy club in san antonio how's the scene in houston these days houston's great but they have the secret group which is a an amazing club that's owned by a bunch of comics oh and beautiful we're gonna have skank fest there oh this year too when is that uh i want to say it's february march around that area march beautiful yeah so that'd be good it's nice to see like scenes yeah you know scenes staying a lot.

That was like an ember for a while. They had a fucking great scene at the last stop, man. A lot of people aren't, they don't remember. We have to talk about it for people to get an understanding of what it was like. Remember when they had that really good open mic that went all night? Yeah. I love that place. The place was awesome.

And then that place across the street where you ate at, Bebus or whatever. Yeah. That place was great. Yeah. The thing about that place was that the dude who ran it was just too crazy. He was too crazy. He was just too much drugs, too much chaos, too much. And then the other guy took over and tried to make it a little corporate.

And then the other guy took over and tried to make it a little corporate. And then it was like, well, this kind of existed the way it was before because a crazy person ran it. In a lot of ways, like the store. The store has figured out the sweet balance, though, which is letting crazy people run it, but also have a business mind and keeping it together, but just saying, oh, this is an interesting interesting business deal but this is basically the best way to make it run can't beat the store i love it it's the best but you know like i remember i'd heard that gene garofalo had moved to houston that might be fake news but i was in boston and i remember saying like what i'm like who the fuck is in houston and kinesin was in houston and um bill hicks was in houston

so houston at one point in time was a hub man like there was some beasts coming out of here particularly kinnison when kinnison burst out of houston everybody was like holy shit the best comic in the world came from texas how the fuck because for those two years that Kennison was on top, he was a fucking tornado, man. He was just ripping houses out of the foundations and throwing them through the air. And that was all from Texas. So I'd heard a bunch of people had moved down there. Because this was like, I want to say like late 80s, like late 80s, early 90s. Kennison died, I think, in like 91 or 92 or something like that

but Texas Austin has a really good scene too Austin Dallas like all of Texas always has have you ever thought

about moving to Texas or is that yes yeah I love it there me too I fucking love it there if the shit hit the fan

in California yee-haw I'm gonna get a ranch woo live from the ranch the new JRE I fucking love it there. If the shit hit the fan in California, yee-haw, I'm going to get a ranch. Woo, live from the ranch. The new JRE. Yeah, I'll have a fucking cowboy hat on and a snake tie. Meat all day.

Barbecue meat. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep up this carnivore tie. Shitting yourself all over Dallas. It seems to have subsided, but for a couple of days it was literally touch and go. Like my dick would like tingle a little bit, my butthole would pucker up, and I'd go, uh-oh. You better keep that vault shut. It would be like... Try explaining to someone who's never taken a shit what it feels like if you know you have diarrhea, but you haven't experienced... You know that feeling?

Like, oh, this one's a problem you know that feeling like how sensitive is the inner wall of your your butthole it's a ticking time bomb because you know it's going to happen too right but if you don't know you have diarrhea you know that there's those moments where you're like oh this is not good where it came out of nowhere well you think you have it like you're like i gotta get to a toilet immediately like there's an urgency to the feeling that you have like your butthole is like hey hey and you're Like there's an urgency to the feeling that you have. Like your butthole is like, hey, hey, hey. And you're like, what's going on down there, guys?

And you know, like, I got to get to a bathroom right now. You don't even know why you know. Like if you had to describe to someone, tell me what it's like when you know you're about to have explosive diarrhea. What's the feeling? Pressure. Yeah, pressure. That's not good enough. I know. That sounds like you're giving birth. It sounds like you had a rock in your pocket. It's more than

pressure. There's a heat. You know the heat that you feel? Like sometimes if you got hot diarrhea, like the inside of your butthole heats up and you're like, whoa, this is going to be a problem. I love it when it's a suicide bomber, when you just sit down. It's a great feeling of satisfaction that you actually made it to a toilet when that happens. When you just fill up that bowl with water. Yeah, I took a shit the third or fourth day of this diet that I took a picture of. Because there was no solid to it.

It was black splatter. Oh, God. I hate when it's black. But it was there was no no solid to it it was black splatter oh god yeah I hate when it's black but it was it was so dark it was like like what I would imagine the devil shit

would look like send it to a doctor just make sure you're good no well you guys are doctors right no I don't you don't see it well I just want you to know

I want you to know what kind of what kind of stuff I'm dealing with oh no no leaf and I want to know what everybody thinks

I need to know what everybody thinks. I need to know your opinion. I mean, is this to be of concern or no? Should I be concerned? What's going on? Oh, God, dude. No, that looks like a mouse, a computer mouse. Take a look at that. It's all fluid, black fluid.

Dark, dark, like a Corvette. That's like the rap go piss bro because when i said when i google you know shit problems or say like if it's ever black or if it looks like uh sand or something like that you should go to a dark problem that's not good the thing is sean baker was telling, I don't know if this is true or not, I'll read you what he said, because I will definitely butcher this. Bear in mind, he is an actual doctor. He is a...

I mean, that's the blackest I've ever seen, and I thought I had black shit before. It's not even shit, though. It's like liquid. It looks like oil. Yeah, it's a disaster. Speaking of the shit prize, show some of my friends the Ju-Clam video the other day. I never heard of it. You should put that away. that away it's not good hold on let me find it where did you send it to me hold on so i can please my apologies talk amongst yourself for a moment uh do you have a tote do you have a toto uh or do you have a... Oh, no. I would want to get what we have here, that Brondle.

Yeah. 1,000 heated water. Heated water. Perfume. Yeah. It's the best. What is that? The bidet.

The bidet we have here. But the air is a little weird. The air freshener? The air, like when you do it, the air dryer? Because it's blowing... You know, what's weird is that I didn't like it, but I've grown to like it. It's smelling your ass.

It makes the whole room smell like your butthole. It's kind of weird. No. What? The air dryer on the bidet. It's just blowing your butthole in your face. I didn't like it at first but now it's all right i can't find this dude's message i know he sent it to me but i can't find it

mine uh it uh opens up the seat when you come in and everything like that but sometimes my girlfriend like uh unplugs it to use the hair dryer is there another level joe have you had a better bidet than the one you we have here like is there no level to it i mean there might be i don't know of one though the toto is really good i recommend the toto the one we have is pretty good i feel very guilty when i go through a whole water cycle up my butt though yeah you posted a video for a picture of it one time we were at that one hotel that had a hose next to it like i double hose so don't understand what what the you're supposed to do with that apparently it has to do with some religions some religion thing you're not supposed to wipe your ass with anything so you

just blast that sucker you're just like this is what someone told me i think maybe a limo driver so i might be making this up butt naked basicallyower. That's what you're supposed to do. Shit, shower, shave. Come on, you fucking monster. Let me find this dude's text message to me. I told him I'm doing it, and then I told him I'm having some rock hard diarrhea. Did you know that in photos on your iPhone that you could search by, if you just type in car, it knows what cars are and it would bring up photos. I was trying to find this picture of a person's tooth

and I just typed in tooth in photos and searched and it found all these people's close-ups of their smiles and stuff. I didn't know that you could search photos. I found this message. It says for some reason for some people too many eggs can lead to diarrhea.

That was not the case for me. I wasn't eating that many eggs. Hardly any eggs. Most of the time, it's just the colon adapting. Whoops, I lost it there. Sorry. Shit. God damn it.

Search for colon adapting. You'll get there. I had it, though. 53 messages. I don't know if that's true. See, here's the thing about all this stuff is there's a lot of dispute like a lot a lot of dispute what people think is and and isn't true about nutrition and diet like that that is one of the more confusing things about talking to

all these different people what is okay and what's not okay? What's healthy and what's not healthy? How much difference does it make biologically between people? Healthy for you but not healthy for me? Is that real? How does one find it? It's a fucking long road to try to sort all this stuff out. So when people start talking about why something gives you diarrhea, I'm like, hmm, I don't know if that's true. It says the colon's adapting to a relatively

higher amount of liquid leaving the small intestine than we're used to uh on a high fiber diet i don't know we're gonna find out yeah it seems to me to me, I find it odd that you have diarrhea on a meat diet. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's just weird. But what he's saying, if your colon is used to high fiber, which captivates some of the liquid, and then it would cause that fiber to swell up,

and then it comes out in the form of watery shit. So instead, there's none of that. It's just meat. So you got the plop plop, that's the meat, and then everything else is liquid. Yikes! Are you drinking more liquid too, do you think? Because you're filling space or water? I'm definitely

drinking a good amount of liquid. I'm being healthy about it. We bought these body composition scales that you get on, but it said I should be 142 pounds and then I'm 59 pounds of fat. That's not true. So it's a piece of shit. Yeah. Those things are, I talked to my doctor about it today. So they're not, he said the real ones have a handle. There's a handle on one side

and then it goes across your body. So it gets you from the floor up and it gets you across your body with these wires that you hold onto and it gets a a better scan but the best scan is when you go into an immersion tank and then they find out what your body composition is and they there's like more complicated machinery involved to like i know the ufc has some body composition scanner you lay down this thing that's a different level that's probably the one that works because this the i mean i don't know maybe the one that you step on works maybe but i'm skeptical of the one i got i'm – I mean, I don't know. Maybe the one that you step on works. Maybe. But I'm skeptical of the one I got.

I'm not even going to say the name of it. The one I ordered. I ordered three different ones because I wanted to see if they were – because we're all talking about doing it. Ari's going to do it. We're going to do a podcast. We're all going to do a weight loss podcast because we look so fat. Except Ari. Ari looked good.

He wants to lose body fat and he has the bones of a baked chicken. His bones just break, and he found out he has inadequate bone mass, and he's like, oh, okay, that's probably why everything breaks when I ski because he's broken a bunch of shit skiing, his arm, his legs, ankle. So he's going to gain some mass and hopefully become more of a man. I mean, that's the ultimate goal going into this one. His ski video is pretty amazing if that's him. I think it's real.

He posted some video. I don't know if it's real or a deep fake. Yeah, him skiing. Oh, he can ski. Yeah, he can ski pretty good. He's, like, going on all the ramps and all that. Oh, dude, he's been skiing forever. Ari's been skiing forever.

Yeah, he knows how to ski. Pretty amazing. Yeah. Bert's been doing push-ups. They're kind of push-ups. What does that kind of push-ups mean? You either do or you don't. Like Yoda over here.

There's no want. Do or don't. Full extension. Full extension push-ups? Not really? He's not? Well, those don't count. I know.

You get zero points, sir. Get back down there. It's a camera trick. He's just bringing up a carpet. Yeah. So he's trying to lose weight, too. Yeah, we there. It's a camera trick. He's just bringing up a carpet. Yeah. So he's trying to lose weight, too. Yeah, we're all going to try to look impressive at the end of February. Is there a contest?

Are you figuring that out? No, just doing it? Just doing it's better. The problem with contests is we all get crazy and we don't have time. And the contest that's involved between Bert and Tom with just dance-off videos is getting pretty spectacular. I know a few things. I'm not telling nobody. Oh, yeah. But there's some shit inoff videos. It's getting pretty spectacular. I know a few things. I'm not telling nobody. Oh, yeah.

But there's some shit in the works. It's going down. Are we going to see you returning to, like, a cameo? I'm not dancing. I love that dancing scene. No. No dancing. You used a curtain and swung across the room or something.

No, that was Kevin James. Oh. Yeah. That shit's hard on you, man. It takes a lot of energy to learn how to dance in some stupid way that nobody gives a fuck about go big on tiktok you go crazy it's hard man i'll tell you that i have a lot of respect for dancers it's fucking hard to do very hard to do i mean the just the physical motion required to move

your body like that it's's difficult. I get it. I don't like when people try to shame you into doing their thing either. I don't like that. Are you scared? Scared to do a dance-off? Fuck you. All right, fuck you. I'm not scared to do it.

No one's scared to do a dance-off. Man, it doesn't matter if you dance better, okay? It's like out of all the things, this is not 1970 and this isn't saturday night fever okay okay it's not a valuable commodity i know you wish it was i know you wish it was i know you wish in this day and age that being a great dancer was a valuable commodity but you know how i know it's not because there's no rich professional male dancers that are famous. Name one. The last one we had was Baryshnikov.

After that, that's it. There's no more. It's not like, well, think about all the famous chefs we have. Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain. Famous celebrity wealthy chefs are a dime a dozen. There's a lot of them today. Guy Fieri, you can keep going. Wolfgang Puck. You can keep going, right?

Name one. Baller. Dancer. Just Dancer, though. Just Dancer. Michael Jackson. There's people that are good at it. He's Michael Jackson. And he's dead. Name one right now. Savion Glover. Who the fuck is that?

Tap dancer. Listen, bro. Keep it. No disrespect to Mr. Glover. the fuck is that? Tap dancing Listen bro Keep it No disrespect to Mr. Glover No disrespect to anybody Who bowls professionally Yeah it's tough Just look You can't

Nobody gives a fuck So if you try to pretend That it's a big deal Like it's not a big deal That's why You can't make a living doing it I guess you can make a living dancing You certainly can make a living And if that's not the only't make a living doing it i guess you can make a living dancing you certainly

can make a living and if that's not the only reason of course i'm joking it's not the only reason to be a very good dancer you should dance for love dance for the love of your craft but if you try to shame someone and they're not having a dance off they're gonna go hey that doesn't mean anything there There's a lot of other interesting things you could do with your body. You know, you can get good at a lot of different movements with your body. I don't have to do a fucking hip hop dance off with you. How about no? Come on, man. I want you to listen to some music you don't even like. I don't want you to move in a way that's going to embarrass the fuck out of you five years from now.

So go ahead. Especially what Bert did, or what Tom did to Bert. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was kind of taking it too far. It took it even further. Because then he released a behind-the-scenes video. It was a real reaction to Bert's video.

And they're not much better than the reactions that were in the fucking video where it was acted out the real reactions hurt more because they're looking at like they're like what the fuck oh oh what the fuck is he doing that was real that's a real reaction why is everyone trying to hurt Bert because he's a really nice guy I'm not trying to I'm not trying to hurt him I'm I'm not like these fucks ari's out there drugging him and tom's pretending to stab him i'm just trying to get the guy to be healthy yeah that's right joey diaz dosed his dad i mean everybody is everybody's in on it it's not cool it's not cool he didn't deserve it right no i don't think you deserve it. I don't think he asked for it. But it seems like that's part of the Burt Kreischer experience. Right?

Part of the Burt Kreischer experience is like people step over. They line step on him. Don't you think? A lot of people line step on Burt. He gets very mad at it too. Secretly mad. Oh yeah, people just taking their shirt off with him.

Well, not just that. I mean just what Ari did and what Tom did. Those are two line steps. Big time line steps. Ari first took all his

albums and I think he thought he broke them, remember? That's right. And then he threatened him on, or Burt took them

and then threatened him on Twitter. That's right. I forgot about that part. Big suspension right. Or Burt took him and threatened him on Twitter. That's right. I forgot about that part. Big suspension. So Burt took the albums, and then Ari threatened Burt. Because he wouldn't give them back. That's right.

Said he was going to kill him, and then Twitter suspended him. They had banned him, and we had to show them somehow... That it was a joke. That it was a joke. I think management got involved i remember like there was a lot of people involved making emails and calls to twitter trying to explain like this these are best friends they're comedians but when you think about like just having one of your best friends make a video of you like a deep fake getting

stabbed it's like tom did i was like yo what and it was realistic it wasn't like no it was really rough tom's all about the internet he knows what works he tricked him into he tricked making all the facial expressions it's so ridiculous yeah i asked bird about it and he was like you know how fucked up like my daughter saw that oh that's can you imagine seeing your dad being stabbed like that? That's your shame in a losing weight. So it doesn't look like that. So it doesn't look like that anymore.

Dude, I looked at myself when my gut was hanging out, my love handles are hanging out. That's as heavy as I've ever been. And that's one of the reasons why I decided to do this carnivore thing. Just try it. I'm 205 pounds. I'm supposed to be like 190. I was like a legit 15 pounds overweight like okay let me just lose this weight so now i'm down to like i think to this morning

it was 197 or something like that yeah oh i know not not good right so i've lost eight pounds in just just two weeks i don't know how much of that's real, though. How much of that's water? How much is that real? Sodium. How much can you actually lose? How much is real loss and how much of it is stuff

that is going to change instantaneously the moment I change the way I'm eating? I'll come right back. Yeah. Is it from carrying around water? What is it? I think most diets i noticed that like you can get a seven up to seven pounds eight pounds off almost immediately

right just by changing your diet yeah uh and a lot of like like sodium i'm just joking but that's actually a huge thing like a lot of people eat like noodles and ramen that's like your daily how much sodium you're supposed to have in like one half bowl. So you're just retaining a lot of water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people drink Gatorade a lot and stuff like that. And, you know, cause they're hungover.

Oh. They get a bunch of that sodium that way. Yeah. Is there a healthy form of Gatorade? See, someone told me that the thing that makes Gatorade really bad when you don't exercise makes it good if you do exercise. Someone's explaining that Gatorade, like, if you just want to drink Gatorade all day, it's kind of like almost like sugar. Like, you're just drinking sugar.

You're just drinking a soda. But if you rigorously exercise, Gatorade is not a bad thing to have after you rigorously exercise. Gatorade is not a bad thing to have after you rigorously exercise. Like this is a doctor who has a sort of famous workout webpage and videos. He's very, very intelligent. Jim Stopani is his name. And he actually advocates people eating candy after they work out. And just to immediately replenish the muscle glycogen levels. And you can do that. It's one time even when you're cutting a lot of weight, when you have a brutal exercise, and just to immediately replenish the muscle glycogen levels.

You can do that. It's one time, even when you're cutting a lot of weight, when you have a brutal exercise, you actually can take in simple sugar very easily, and it just helps your muscles sort of recover from a workout. So that's when Gatorade is actually good. So the thing that makes kids fat because they don't do anything, they just drink Gatorade and it fucks them up because it's so much sugar, that's actually good for you if you just ran a marathon or good for you if you're playing rugby.

Yeah, I wonder if the G2s and the Powerade Zeros, how bad they are for you. I mean, they don't have zero calories. Well, the zero calories is probably a problem. Those are not good for you probably as much. They probably replenish the electrolytes, right? Electrolytes don't have calories. But it's not just the electrolytes. It's actually getting some sugar into your muscles.

That Jim Stepani guy, did you find him? Yeah, yeah. I'm looking up a thing about eating gummy bears after you work out and for carbs. Oh, Jim Stepani is interesting too because he's fucking fully tattooed up, including his head. All of his head is now. But he's a very smart guy. fully tattooed up, including his head. All of his head is... But he's a very smart guy.

Like, you look at him and you go, I bet that guy's got his cock tattooed. Not that I think about your cock, sir. I just... He's got them everywhere. And he's super jacked. Look at him. See, that's what he used to look like.

Yeah, super jacked. But now, everything's covered. Including... Look at that. That's his neck and everything. His hands. He's fucking jacked. That's his neck and everything. His hands. He's fucking... That's too much, though.

He just looks black. Shut up. It's perfect. You leave my boyfriend alone. I go... All kidding aside, I go to his Instagram page all the time. It's very informational. Very interesting videos, too, that he has on YouTube.

He's clearly a very very bright guy and is also super jacked look at that so you see his neck it goes all the way up to his chin right but it's also like the back of his head and everything too super jacked it's craziness yeah there he is that's him anyway enough of my boy crush so uh what else it's already three o'clock man so listen you and i were talking we should commit to doing these more often yeah let's do it fun i love it especially like i'm more looking forward to like silly ones nowadays because everything's so goddamn even when we're talking about things like if we're talking about something seriously at least we could fuck off while we're talking about something serious like

yeah and i always get messages especially after that 10-year video you guys posted uh people miss like i think i was just talking about the internet and fucking around like this yeah that's what we were saying like an internet show a show we just talk about like what's going on the internet this month what's what's happening right now what's because there's so much you you'll never run out of disasters to cover yeah you never all right um you're gonna be in houston is it sold out i think everything's sold out sorry calgary soon uh check out death squad.tv is uh calgary sold out as well uh i i think that's just for last or something not maybe it might be sold out oh you, you know what people should check out? I'm doing Holtzman's new podcast.

Oh, he has a podcast now? If you like Brian Holtzman, I really have him on now. Where's his podcast? At my studio, DeathSquad.TV. Oh, he's doing it at your place. At my studio. And I'm also doing Dave Lucas

and William Montgomery, the regulars from Kill Tony. We're doing their podcast also. And Wednesday we have Duncan Trussell as the guest. Beautiful. DeathSqu squad.tv for all your death squad needs uh young jamie.com so what you are sure yeah get yourself a look into it or i looked into it t-shirt oh yeah still feel available uh round earth shill t-shirts also available there all right bye everybody