The Joe Rogan Experience - #1407 - Michael Malice

Episode Date: January 7, 2020

Michael Malice is an author and also hosts a podcast called “Your Welcome with Michael Malice” available on Spotify. His new book called “The New Right” is available now.

and booyah so what are we saying about tarantula hawks tarantula hawk wasps yeah they're like that big fucker that maynard sent me so this is one of the there's a guy who made a scale right and he got stung by all the different insects and this is i think five there's also a five plus they're very hard to get you to sting them there's a guy who online goes through and gets them all stung but the reason they're so dangerous or so venomous, what they do

is they sting the tarantula, lay their eggs inside the tarantula, and then the tarantula is eaten alive by the offspring for weeks. And then when this was discovered,

this kind of stuff in the Middle Ages, they were like, this is a big theological dilemma because why would God make this happen? Yeah, why would God do that? Nature is, I mean, I could go down this rabbit hole for hours.

Please do. Yeah, I mean- Have you seen that gigantic flower that they found that smells like shit? So one of the cousins to that flower is called something Infanticida. So the insane thing about that flower, Rafflesia, it's the largest flower in the world. It only lasts two weeks. Yeah.

But the plant... It's a parasite. Right. So the plant that it comes from has no stems, roots, or leaves. Yeah. So you can't keep it on display because it is entirely inside another species of vine.

Yeah, it's completely parasitic, right? Yeah. It just sits there and it's fucking huge. Look at that thing. Yeah, and they smell. They're called corpse flowers. It just sits there, and it's fucking huge. Look at that thing. Yeah, and they smell. They're called corpse flowers because they smell like rotting flesh, too. How weird. And they don't know why it's so big.

I guess to trap rats. That's what I would imagine. No, it's not carnivorous. It's the flower. It just gets sneaky. Yeah. They're adapting, bro. That's what it is.

They get ready to eat people. Look how big they are. They're gorgeous. They are beautiful. Oh, wow. Look at that one where the guy's got his hand on it before it blooms. So're gorgeous. They are beautiful. Oh, wow. Look at that one where the guy's got his hand on it before it blooms.

So that's what it looks like sitting on the ground and then it pops open. That's some fucking avatar shit right there. So I have something from the island of Socotra, which is an archipelago

near the coast of Yemen called Duvalyandra, D-U-V-A-L-I-N-D-R-A, and their flowers look and smell like meat. Whoa. Because you want to attract flies. And the hotter it gets in the house, the more the flower smells. It's really cool when you get it to bloom.

So it's actually heat activated just like rotten food would be. Yeah. Whoa. To trick the flies because flies are going to be attracted. There it is. That is bananas. There, number seven. Wow, it's so beautiful. That one's just right there, Jamie. You see that There it is. That is bananas. There, number seven. Wow, it's so beautiful.

That one's just right there, Jamie. You see that in the third one on the left. There, that's it. You can look at the texture. Wow. And it even has hairs to replicate a wound. It looks like a blown out butthole. Yeah.

But from an alien. Oh, there is a butthole. Look at the little dot in there. Oh, there is a butthole that smells like shit. Oh, there is a butthole. Look at the little dot in there. Oh, there is a butthole that smells like shit. If you look up White Slonia, White S-L-O-A-N-E-A, it smells like an asshole and has hairs that wriggle in the wind.

Oh, jeez. And it's to replicate an asshole. Oh, sorry. What was that again? W-H-I-T-E-S-L-O-A-N-E-A. White Slonia, named after White and Sloan. It's from Somalia. Oh, my God. Yeah, look at those flowers.

Oh, God. How weird. Just the sheer variety. And that smells like a butthole and has hair on it. Yeah, and the hair moves. My friend calls it God's mistakes. But the sheer variety of nature is so weird.

Isn't it great? I mean, we're just, I mean, that's not unusual. If an asshole is not unusual and every animal has an asshole, why is it unusual to have a plant that looks like an asshole? And we have the expression,

you attract more flies with honey than vigor, but it's also like a pig to shit, a fly to shit. You're going to have flowers that smell like shit. Yes. And there's a lot of them. There's a whole family of them and they're gorgeous yeah they smell and when they pop open they fart it's like a fart because it's contained and then it

pops open oh so like the gases come out of it when it pops open yeah it releases a dose yeah look up the biggest one stapelia s-t-a-p-e-l-i-a Are there any plants that have the same effect on people? That, like, you know that one, well, it's not even a plant, actually. It's a fungus. There's one branch of the cordyceps mushroom that infects ants and gets them to explode. Oh, makes them insane. Yeah. So that they spray the spores everywhere.

They die. It grows inside of them, then literally explodes out into the air, so the spores will infect other ants. then literally explodes out into the air so the spores will infect other ants. So when ants find out that one of their members has been infected, they'll take that ant way out of the community. They'll take them on a walk. Yeah. Because they know somehow or another that this thing is going to blow up on all their family. They found footage of this and literally like the mushroom grows out of the ant's head and then it pops out.

There's a lot of things that they're learning now about nature controlling the minds of other beings, which is really a recent kind of discovery. Like Fox News, right? Fox News, am I right? That's more like phone news. Am I right? Yeah, that sort of um parasitic relationship we one of my favorite ones ever was the um the grasshopper that gets infected by this aquatic worm the aquatic worm gets it to

commit suicide so that it can give birth to this worm it literally gets into the wiring of the grasshopper's brain and convinces it to jump into a puddle what about the louse that eats fish's tongues and then becomes a functional tongue and becomes the tongue yeah fuck so there's there's a lot of this this kind of crazy stuff i my understanding is the majority of species are actually parasitic really yeah there's because it's so much easier to be a parasite you latch on you're getting nutrition you don't got to do anything you don't have to hunt you don't have to graze and you're just set. Well, that's also just obviously parasitic. If you want to think about it, most organisms are semi-parasitic

in that we need other organisms in order to survive. You know, like if you're a farmer, I don't want to say you're a parasite if you're a beef farmer. There's a headline, beef farmers are parasites, says Joe Rogan. 2020 is going to be a tough year for you. You're living off that organism, right? Yeah. But the other thing is if every species has several parasites, think how many we have, lice and mites.

It makes sense that the majority are going to be parasitical. Even at the micro level, you get down to our gut. Oh, yeah. All the different bacteria that's on your skin. We're filled with stuff. Yeah. It's really fascinating how clever uh many of these organisms are yeah it's a trip it's a weird thing to be a person my friend i wouldn't know no

kidding yeah yeah i agree it's it but it's just also weird how we're finding out things that are even crazier and crazier like right now they're doing a lot of deep sea exploration and the things at the bottom of the ocean are just like what is this you saw that deep staria thing the the jellyfish that looks like a lava lamp yes so it's just like what is this pull pull up that fucking thing yeah deep staria yeah there's a that's a that's one of the more amazing things about the bottom of the ocean right is a bioluminescence. Oh, yeah. These creatures that have a light source, they give off light. Well, there's also dragonfish use a red light source because red doesn't show up for others. So they can see with it, but no one else can.

It's like night vision. Oh, yeah. This is the one. Oh, that's so crazy. You saw this? Yeah. This is just amazing. Oh, it's so cool.

And what's amazing is how they're freaking out. The scientists are watching it. They're like, what is going on? Oh, I love this thing. And what's amazing is how they're freaking out. The scientists are watching it. They're like, what is going on? Oh, I love this thing. Look at that thing. And it also has a parasite on it or a symbiotic relationship. There's a copepod living inside. Resident isopod?

Yeah. Is that what that is? Yeah. Fuck, look how pretty that is. Now, this thing has never seen light for millions of years. It's the bottom of the sea. So the fact that it knows how to react or is having a reaction is is a um pretty cool just the fact that that's a real thing that exists if we found that on the planet somewhere we would freak out this is the overlord

this is the overmind of the planet and it's in a gelatinous form and it communicates to you with vibrations this is why um my autism wouldn't let me watch Star Trek as a kid. Because I knew about all this stuff, and then I'm watching Star Trek, and they're going to another planet and it's like a guy with a blue face, and I'm just like this makes... No, this is stupid. It's just a guy. It's just a guy, whereas look at Earth. Look at this. Right. Look at an octopus.

Yeah. You've seen the video of the octopus taking out the seagull? Oh yeah, what about the blanket octopus? What's interesting though is they saved an eagle. An octopus took out an eagle in Vancouver Island. An eagle? Yes, an eagle.

And the fishermen pulled it ashore and removed the octopus from the noble eagle. But a seagull, they were like, sorry, bitch, that's a wrap.

Well, they're nasty. They're thieves. Well, they are thieves, but I think that... And they smell. Eagles are thieves, too. That's true. We're talking about a company that has uh raises organic chickens that lost 2.2 million dollars in chickens

to eagles they they killed 160 000 eagles or excuse me the eagles killed 160 000 oh yeah yeah okay so here it is the octopus a bald eagle why does that octopus hate america well he doesn't he's in Canada. Huh. Bald eagles live in Canada, too. They're expats. They go over there to party and to have sex with underage eagles. They were draft dodgers. Yeah, for sure.

That was bald eagle. There's no rules up there in that wild land to the north. But look at that. They decided to save the fucking thing. Isn't that weird? Oh, my God. Wow. If you're going to save it, I think you should eat the octopus, too, because you win.

Yeah. The crew estimated the octopus could have been as large as 4.5 feet. Wow. If you're going to save it, I think you should eat the octopus too because you win. Yeah. The crew estimated the octopus could have been as large as 4.5 feet. Good. Everybody gets to eat. Yeah. That's a lot of meat. Don't let it go. Don't let it go.

There's plenty of them things. Jack that fucker. Get lunch. It's only got a year long lifespan anyway. Does it? Oh yeah. You know the octopus life cycle? That big?

Oh yeah. It only lives a year? Yeah. Oh, I definitely would have eaten it then. Yeah. With zero remorse. Zero fucks. I would have been zero remorseful if I found it only lived a year? Yeah. Oh, I definitely would have eaten it then. Yeah. With zero remorse. Zero fucks. I would have been zero remorseful if I found it only lived a year.

Yeah. I'm like, look at him. He's got to be 11 and a half months. And they don't really feel pain. They can cannibalize themselves. Well, they let their arms go when the female octopus tries to eat them. Yeah. Yeah.

Female octopuses, this is one of my favorite parts about the animal kingdom. They pretend sometimes that they want to have sex with a male octopus then they just jack them and eat them. What about the cuttlefish where they pretend to be female so they can get laid? Yeah, they're like beta males that are male feminists.

Yeah. They pretend to be something unnatural. They pretend they're female. They pretend to be female. And then they fuck the females when the male's not looking. They have female mannerisms

and characteristics just like these beta males and they sneak up next to them as an ally it's like get their rocks off it's like every washington post reporter in mollusk form you said that not me well you're the one who said that farmers are parasites but you do have uh you have an excuse because you claimed autism which is a good move yeah that's why you should listen to me about climate change also you're already fine right i. I was saying that earlier, first podcast,

that a friend of mine who actually used to work with autistic kids thinks that girl is autistic. She is autistic. She says it. It's on her Twitter bio. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. I didn't know.

That's how little I'm paying attention to the news these days. Yeah, yeah. I'm so happy. So we should definitely listen to the 16-year-old college high school dropout about science. So she is autistic. It says that on her. It says, I am autistic. Yeah, Asperger's, which is not a diagnosis anymore.

I am autistic plus how dare you. Yeah. 17-year-old climate change environmental activist with Asperger's. Oh. Was that always there with Asperger's? Yes. Really? So my most successful tweet ever was I said there's-

How many tweets? Excuse me. How many followers does she have, Jamie? Only six. What? 4 million almost. 3.9. 1 million. Yeah, yeah. successful tweet ever was I said how many tweets excuse me how many followers do you have Jamie only six what 4 million almost 3.91 million yeah yeah

those are rookie numbers you gotta bump that up my biggest ever tweet I said there's no one more privileged than the girl who refuses to go to school until everyone on earth

changes the weather for her and then people are like blah blah blah and I'm like okay here's the rule weather is when it contradicts your bullshit climate is when it contradicts your bullshit.

Climate is when it supports your bullshit. It's not weather, it's climate. Okay, right, right, gotcha. Go back to that first video that's on our page, the pinned video. See it there? Can you play that? I want to hear what she has to say. Oh, good.

Super important. Fridays for Future, the school strike continues. This is in September. She was striking for school. On school strike for the climate. She's on school strike continues. This is in September. She was striking for school. On school strike for the climate. She's on school strike for the climate. Every Friday, we will sit outside the Swedish parliament until Sweden is in line with the Paris agreement. We urge everyone to do the same wherever you are.

Sit outside your parliament or local government building until your nation is on a safe pathway to a below two. Okay, pause it. She's got a beautiful voice. Does she? I like it okay nice music behind it too i do it's soothing i feel like we're all gonna work together and stop this thing michael it's a very brave new world well we better stop this thing because not her oh okay the climate oh let's stop the planet first of all they are the the nazis are lighting the rainforest on fire so they can make more cows. So you need to go vegan. And also Australia. Yes.

Australia. Do you know Tim Pool tweeted a statistic about the Australia fires? See if you can find it. It was 500 million animals. Yeah. That's one horrific statistic. But his statistic was, I believe, on the number of people. I'm pretty sure it was Tim Pool.

I might be wrong now. I'm second guessing myself. The number of people that actually intentionally set those fires. Wow. Yeah. There's not just one fire. There's many, many, many, many fires. And there's not just accidental fires. There are fires that were set on purpose and not a small amount of them.

Like a significant percentage of these fires were set intentionally. Why, to just clear ground? Assholes. Oh, okay. That's despicable. Yeah. Literally, assholes. Why? To just clear ground? Assholes. Oh, okay. That's despicable. Yeah, literally assholes that probably never knew that it could get this crazy. A big problem with that is Australia, there's many species that only live there. They're endemic there.

And Australia won't let them be exported. So you don't have breeding colonies of platypus or echidna everywhere else. So when something like this happens, it's really disproportionately bad. Yeah, they were saying that koala bears are functionally extinct because then we know but then we google that and they they were refuting that right weren't they jamie well they're having this cancer which is contagious and they're pissing themselves to the bone like it's really really bad it's happening to them yeah and i don't understand how it can't yeah i don't understand how cancer could be contagious but it's spreading venereally I read about that on

Or I listened to that rather On a Radiolab podcast It was the only form of cancer that they had ever recorded That was contagious It makes no sense So crazy And all they eat is eucalyptus trees right All they eat is one kind of leaf

And they also have the smallest brain to body proportion Of any animal and they don't know why They're violent when you fuck them Oh yeah You try to fuck them i've never tried to fuck a koala i don't know why i say that are but no are they nasty no they they're well they're wild animals and they're brutal during the mating process right like a lot of kids have been like severely traumatized watching koala bears rape other koala bears and And you're like, oh, no. Pandas, apparently, too. Well, also cats. Oh, yeah. It's always rape.

And he slices her up with the barbs on his dick. They make noises that you're like, what in the fuck is happening outside my bedroom door? She's being raped with a knife. Oh, yeah. Cuts her up inside, right? And seals her up. Yeah. And he's also biting her neck.

Yeah. Like sharks. And they go to war sometimes, up. And he's also biting her neck. Yeah. Like sharks. And they go to war sometimes, too. They fucking fight and claw each other and shit. Well, then they also kill the kids so that she'd get her period again. Cats do that, too? Yeah, lions, all felines. I didn't know kitty cats did that.

They have that gland on the roof of the mouth, the male. So they'll make that face, and then they're smelling if it's their kids. Oh, they're doing that with their mouth? Yes. Whoa. They can smell if it's their own kids? Yes. That is fucking bonkers.

But that's just amazing that like, okay, do I have to kill these children so I can rape their mom? You know who else does that? Who? Dolphins. Dolphins? Dolphins. Do what? They kill the kids?

Infanticide. Yeah. Really? I didn't know that. Yes. That's why female dolphins Are severely promiscuous Cause the kids Are always getting killed

Cause they fuck everybody Then you're not gonna Kill her kids Cause you don't know Whose kids they are Right You don't have Maury Povich

In the ocean There's no It's just all guess work With dolphins She's like damn I have been fucking her a lot I was a cute kid Well just leave

Leave that kid alone Cause when a female Dolphin has birth, apparently she's not willing to mate until her baby is viable or until it's independent. And I think that takes like six years. So they don't fuck for six years

and the male dolphins are like, fuck that, you don't. And they'll kill the baby. Aren't they the only other group that mates for pleasure or has sex for pleasure? No, for sure, chimps. Oh, yeah, bonobos.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what other animals do it. How many? I would want, we should Google that. How many different animals mate for pleasure? I think it's bonobos and maybe dolphins and humans.

Dolphins definitely seem to do it. Humans, I hear do it. I don't understand why they wouldn't want to mate for pleasure because then you're getting laid more i guess you don't want to get laid too much and then you can't carry the kids yeah right and there's not enough resources i mean i think that when you think about um things like deer it had i mean there's a reason why they only fuck once a year and there's so goddamn many of them imagine if deer fucked every day be a plague pleasure pleasure pigs okay look at those look at those chimps fucking that's crazy

they're doing it missionary style huh and they're looking at each other in the eye and he's like i'm gonna give you this good that could be rape i think that's the guy on the bottom if i'm not is that right yeah i look at the guy on the bottom that's a bitch i think it's a guy yes other animals that's. No, it's a guy on top. So how many animals does it say? Humans, pigs. We guessed them all. Bonobos, dolphins, and one or two species of primates. Oh, so it's only primates. Yeah, we guessed them.

So it's only animals. But pigs. Interesting. We didn't guess pigs. Pigs. Yeah. Pigs are smart as fuck, man. That's true.

They're also responsible for the most farm deaths. Is that true? Yep. How so? Like charging people? people no they eat people people fall in no pigs eat them oh yeah didn't you ever see snatched what's now i don't even know what that is brad pitt you piece of shit what the fuck man well this started a guy richie movie snatch okay you don't know snatched i'm a piece of shit why would i know is this snatch

yeah it's not snatched oh you don't know who's the piece of shit now who's the physician that's my my my apologies that's a uh porn parody snatched uh it's based on the same storyline will i be able to follow it if i haven't watched snatch but the guy there's a gangster a really great character in the movie snatched there's this british guy with these giant coke bottle glasses who's a fucking murderer. And he talks about pigs, about how you could get rid of bodies with pigs. Oh, they did that in the Hannibal movie? Yes, yes.

Apparently it's all because of, well, there's a reality to it, but also because there was a serial killer that lived in British Columbia, that guy. He's fucking great. Bricktop was his name in the movie. I love his glasses. Oh, my God. Can we play a segment of that? No, we can't. He's fucking great. Brick Top was his name in the movie. I love his glasses. Oh my god. Can we play a segment of that? No, we can't. We'll get pulled. Too bad, but the guy's fantastic. What is the guy's name, that actor?

He's fucking fantastic. He's not an actor. While he's doing it, you're like, that guy's a gangster and he's really killing people. He's really feeding them. What is his name? Alan Ford. That guy is a fucking beast. He's in a lot of things. Dude, he's so good in that movie, though. He's really feeding them. What is his name? Alan Ford. That guy is a fucking beast. He's in a lot of things. Dude, he's so good in that movie, though. He's so good as that

evil gangster. I mean, you buy it hook, line, and sink. It's a great movie. You've never seen that movie? No. Dude, I love Guy Ritchie movies. I love those English gangster movies like Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. I love those movies. I just got a new one on the way. Did you see it?

What? Called The Gentleman with Matthew McConaughey. It plays like a millionaire weed dealer in London or some shit like that. Yes! Seems like it's just right out. Yes! Can't wait. Beautiful.

I'm excited. I love his movies. Okay. I'm not a big movie guy. What do you do for fun? Count numbers and shit? Count numbers. Okay. We're going to break break this down what does that even mean

means you're talking about being autistic they all sit around like number people fucking rain man and shit right he doesn't have to count oh he does all the time it's the opposite he sees the toothpicks and he knows how many there are you gotta count them to know how many no that's the point. He gets it instantaneously. Not toothpicks, King. It's nonsense. Look, two cans. It's like superhero powers.

Four bottles. Do you follow superhero movies or TV shows? You seem like you would. No offense. There's a comic book written about me. So I am a comic book. Whoa. You knew this.

I did? Harvey P. Carr from American Splendor. He wrote a graphic novel about me. Oh, that's right. We did talk about this. Yeah, yeah. So I am a comic book character. Do you like other comic books, though? Yeah.

I was a huge comic book fan for a long time. And I just went to some cool comic stores here in LA. There's some great ones. Like that indie stuff, the problem is a lot of it's really pretty, but the writing is crap. Oh. And then you read it, you're like, eh, this isn't it. It's hard to get both. It's hard to get both.

Yeah. Do people, is there comic books, indie comic books, where it's like one guy writes it's hard to get both yeah do people is there comic books indie comic books where it's like one guy writes it and draws it yeah that's the point it's always that case right

but then you don't want the artist you know drawing it and then it gets like are there anybody who does that well where they draw it and write the stories

and do it well yeah Adrian Tomine does it better than anyone I think pull up some of his shit is it a girl or guy guy Dan Klaus didn't want to be a piece of shit that ship has sailed and do it well? Yeah, Adrian Tomine does it better than anyone, I think. Pull up some of his shit. Is it a girl or a guy? Guy.

Dan Klaus. Didn't want to be a piece of shit. That ship has sailed. Yeah. But Adrian is, I mean, I know both sides. I know guys and girls. It's called Optic Nerve. Dan Klaus is amazing. I'm blanking out their names

but there's a lot of real real talents there it is it's very hipster but it's good in the best way good writing good drawing

yeah very emo I don't see any superheroes bro what kind of comic is this does anybody have magic or is there a dragon involved or at least an alien this is just emo everyone's crying

get this off the screen what word does he say to stop crying what magic word does he change from being a crybaby to real man did you watch the watchman no did you see the watchman didn't alan moore like denounce it very vociferously why did he do that i don't know i watched one he's a difficult screen of it and i was like damn dr manhattan looks like a normal person no he's got to look like a god yes he's got to be jacked yeah there was dr manhattan is supposed to be fucking jacked the guy the rock yeah the guy who played him uh in the movie got run over and killed at a young age the fitness actor yeah yeah that guy he's dead no yeah how old was he when he died 30 32 15 year old ran him over is that what you said like a and killed at a young age. The fitness actor. Yeah, yeah. That guy, he's dead. No. Yeah, it's very sad.

How old was he when he died? 30? 32? A 15-year-old ran him over? Is that what you said? No, like a train or something. I don't remember what it was. Yeah, see, that,

so he was a fitness guy? Yeah, he was a fitness, Greg Plitt, that was his name. Let me see a picture of that again. Let me get my pants off. That's, see, that's what Dr. Manhattan's supposed to look like.

He's supposed to look ridiculous, like a super person. Because he's a god. Yes, he's a god. God on earth, yeah. Yeah,. Manhattan's supposed to look like. He's supposed to look ridiculous, like a super person. Because he's a god. Yes, he's a god. God on earth, yeah. Yeah, and he's glowing and blue. But now go to the new Dr. Manhattan. The new Dr. Manhattan is like, hey, you're just a guy who maybe does CrossFit.

Sometimes. Doesn't have the bun and the burger. See, look at his body. I mean, it's okay. He's definitely in good shape. Like, if he was playing a boxer, you'd be in it hook, line, and sinker. Yeah. But as Dr. Manhattan, you're like, hmm.

No, not quite. He doesn't look inhuman. My friend was like, yeah, and they also made him a black guy. I go, dude, he's blue. So I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you. Weren't they complaining about Will Smith Being the genie for some reason Yes People complain about everything

Although I do have to tell you I went to see Frozen The musical Okay Because I have daughters So I went to see Frozen First of all It was at the Pantages

It's a wonderful production It's excellent It's really good I mean I actually enjoyed The musical It's very good However It's about people that live in the arctic or

they live in the nordic country right right that's what it's supposed to be about they're all these blonde people white people well the dad's black in in the musical and the mom's chinese yeah okay and then the dad's black and the mom's chinese which is great they're great actors then they have kids okay and the kid one of the kids Chinese, and one of the kids is white. And then the kids grow up, and they're both white. Wait, the Chinese girl becomes white? Oh, yes. The Chinese girl becomes white.

And there's no explanation given at all. The Chinese girl's little. She's Chinese. I should say Chinese. I'm a piece of shit, and there's a terrible thing to say. I meant to say Asian. You meant Chinaman. No, I didn't.

She's a little Chinaman. She's a girl. A Chinaman girl. She was a, I don't know if she's Chinese. She was a young Asian girl. And she became a white girl. Did she make peepee in your Coke? That's how you know.

She was great at her job. I mean, she had perfect singing and everything was beautiful. They were very talented. But they're requiring you to make this leap. Like, now you have to know that this is now a different ethnicity yeah this is a different person well not just a different person but you can't even pretend that it's the same person like in most movies where you have someone plays a young version of the guy it looks like the guy it's not like you have a young

chinese guy who becomes clint eastwood You're like, hey, what are we doing here? If you have a young Clint Eastwood, he's supposed to look like he could be a young Clint Eastwood. I talked about this in my last book, then you're right. They were even complaining there was a video game that takes place in the Middle Ages, very popularly.

Maybe you guys know the name, and I'm blanking on it. And they were complaining that there weren't enough black people there. Because everyone on Twitter and Facebook still thinks they're in the 60s. And this is their personal march on Selma. And they're fighting against segregation. I'm like, this isn't segregation. This is history. Yeah, you can't.

If you want to make a movie about Egypt, right, you should use people that look like they're Egyptian. Yes. If you just decide you're going to just have only white people from Norway play Egyptians, people are going to want to kick your ass. And that's kind of the same thing. You're fucking with reality. I'm not saying with Frozen, but with a movie or any historical depiction, anything where you're depicting an actual time. If you want to have the Wild West, you want to do a movie about the Wild West, you have to have European settlers. You have to have some African slaves. And you have to have a lot of Native Americans.

You can't just decide, we're going to do a film about the Wild West, but everyone's black. The Indians are black, cowboys are black, all black crew, all black writers, black power, we're going to make it happen. You can't, if you did that movie, people would be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are there slaves? Yes. Okay, so the. Are there slaves? Yes. Okay, so the black people

have slaves? Yes. My favorite comic book series of all time was Legion of Superheroes, right? And it takes place in the 30th century. 30th century.

30th century, a thousand years from now. I was just in the comic book store. They just keep rebooting it. Number two just came out and I was looking at the cover. You have Chameleon Boy who's orange with antennae,

Brainiac Five who's green and a living computer Shadowlass is blue but they had to make Lightning Lad black for some reason now it's just like

these are 40 diverse aliens some of them don't even have a body but they have to change the race just to it's just really kind of I guess the thing you do

and it's stay woke but in retrospect it's going to be embarrassing do you not know about staying woke? I'm very familiar. Do you stay woke at all? I never sleep.

Do you ever think about trying to be a little more woke and people like you better? Ever think of that? No, I don't think they would like me better. I think they might. If you might maybe give in a little bit. How can you like me better? You were already at 11. I'm the pride of America.

This dial's not going up. It's such a strange time, man. But it's always a strange time. I think now what makes it good is that this can be called out and discussed and be like, look, this isn't about race or racism. Why is it important to you that this Chinese girl in Frozen grows up to become white? Just explain this to me. I should say they did a great job.

Everybody was awesome. I enjoyed it. It didn't take away from my enjoyment it was a very good musical it did take away because you're just like i enjoy it more because i enjoy it more because i saw the wokeness stop provoking i saw they did some woke shit i was like i see what you're doing not to say that the asian lady wasn't fantastic as the mom she was the the black eyes the dad he was amazing but you want me to believe that a black guy made it with an asian lady they made two blonde kids and one of them started out asian and then became european later we don't know that we don't know that he was their

dad yes we do it's part of the script but they go to describe their parents they they have children yeah but children you don't know she's hoeing around no she's not hoeing around because if she is she's hoeing around with a goddamn chameleon because the child morphs as it gets older it becomes a different race they changed races of the same person the same character yeah but the point is it's still not going to happen that a a black guy and a chinese person are going to have a white kid so maybe the chinese lady had sex with the white guy could be could be could be he's a cuck. Yeah, it could be frozen refers to the sperm that was unfrozen.

Good point. It's just amazing that Disney is – people think corporate America is very conservative, but they're the first ones to be pushing this stuff. I remember I was in Times Square in New York Pride Month. Rainbow flags everywhere. And I said, only corporate America can make sodomy and perversion look boring oh you son of a am i wrong though you're a son of a bit yeah you know in a way yeah how am i wrong no you're right oh okay no i'm saying no it's just like am i wrong definitely wrong no it's uh yeah it's look do you remember when they had that 11 year old drag queen

oh the desmond is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And they were making this big deal about it. Yeah. And he's going to drag clubs and dancing around. They put it in the news like it was some... What a great thing.

What a great thing. We live in his truth. He's so brave. Imagine if there was a 12-year-old that was just sworn to be a hoe. Like, I am a hoe. I'm just going gonna wear fishnets right and high heels and i'm gonna stick my ass out and i'm gonna dance and pout around with a lot of makeup on how different is that well he's also on the spectrum i think i'm 99 sure so the

and this photos him with naked drag queens violet tchotchke and it's just like look this is something for what if there's like a little boy who's being at chippendales you knowki. And it's just like, look, this is something for, what if there's like a little boy who's being a Chippendales? You know what I mean? It's like, how is this appropriate for kids? And it's on Good Morning America. It's different. Is there a bunch of ladies screaming and trying to get that dick? Well, I mean, that would be the equivalent, right? Because he's performing at gay clubs and they're cheering him on. That's a place where guys go to hook up with guys. Well, here's the question too. Do you think guys have hooked up with them?

No. I hope not. You want to talk about this? Because this is a rabbit hole that I've been on recently. Oh, boy. You've been on a kids getting fucked rabbit hole? Yeah. Because I had a friend in October who sat me down.

And he's like, look, I was raped as a kid for a long time. And he only realized because of this show because he was watching when Jake the Snake was on this show. Oh, my God. My friend Matt and everything Jake was saying, he's like, holy shit, this is me. And this really fucked him up for a while. And as he's talking to me and he goes,

I can't even be mad because it was another older kid and I know he was getting it worse than me. And the thing that's really fucked up is he didn't know how i was going to react right so used to be mommy's sleepy no mommy was a drunk right and until betty ford the first lady came out as an alcoholic now people like if someone says oh my mom's an alcoholic you're like oh that sucks but you don't think anything of them right if someone's if daddy had a temper no daddy was abusive but we know what to do with that information and when i started talking about this on twitter and elsewhere that this is really common and because all of us

do not think of kids in this way we don't want to think about it it's so sick they're the ones who have to deal with this nightmare um And it's really, really, everyone I've talked to knows someone. And I just told another friend, he's like, oh yeah, my sister I just found out was being molested by our grandfather her whole life. And then it's like, she's the one who's acting out

and we're yelling at her for acting out. So Joe, I mean, one of the things I wanted to talk about is this is something that has to change. These people can't be the ones who have to worry that if they tell me or your friend that we're going to look at them like, oh, you're a freak. I don't know what to do with this. Yeah. Because they're the ones who are suffering for a very long time.

And I think that keeps people from speaking out because of that fear of being labeled. Like they'd almost rather keep it to themselves and not have other people know that they've been molested. They don't want for you to be uncomfortable around them. Right. And there was a girl in my high school. She told another girl that her brother had been raping her for years. And she went to mom. And mom says, you know what you're talking about.

Oh, my God. That can't happen. But this happens all the time. And we don't have the space to discuss it. So I've just been kind of talking about this a lot more and encouraging people to talk about this a lot more because there are really, really a lot of people who are suffering because of this. And what do you do? Here's the big question, something like that. What do you do to help the person who's been molested, and what do you do to the person who molested someone?

Well, the person who did it, I can what you do what do you do to the person who molests someone well the the person who did it i i have i can't even begin i don't know but i think what happens is just like with gay rights right the more people who come out and talk about it the more easy it is for someone to call someone else and be like this happened to me you know what i'm going through let's have this conversation have you seen this very strange trend that's rare, but common enough and actually predicted where people are talking about people that are pedophiles, that it's some sort of a sexual inclination that we should have sympathy for them because it's nothing they asked for and it's no different than being born gay or being, it is just a thing where you're born in a way that, is there any science to back that up at all? I am perfectly happy to believe that people can be born with this inclination. I don't care. If I'm born with an inclination that I want to murder people, well, I better figure out how to deal with this. You know what I mean?

Right. And I think that's a complete, in many ways, red herring. If it's something that they can't change, that makes it worse. That means you have no reason to even exist. too dangerous yeah right you're like a cannibal that can only eat meat right a vampire living amongst us right because instead of sealing souls you're stealing someone's future and and the thing about these types is they're very common they're like any predator you're going to be drawn to where the resources are. So they're going to be disproportionate in those fields where you are interacting with your targets. So that's what makes it so sick.

It's not like you have these ideas. Okay, fine. You can have whatever ideas you want. You are laying that groundwork to prey on these kids, and you know what you're doing. And again, I don't know what to do with this information but i do know that this is really really bad and you know people talk about this is the truest form of being a victim there is and the sickest part about it to me is how many of these kids go on to molest other kids yeah it's it's like like a like a disease like they've a disease. Well, I told Matt that he should – there's two ways, right?

They go on. I told Matt, you should consider reaching out to this guy and telling him you forgive him. Because he's like – because it's possible that you're like 10 or 11, you're doing this. You grow up and you realize what you've done and what this means. And I don't know how you could live with yourself. Right. Well, we have to hope know how you could live with yourself. Right. Well, we have to hope and assume that it ended with that, that he didn't continue doing it as he got older and with the same age child.

Yeah. And what's even worse, what happens when it's within the family? Right. It happens all the time. This happens. I talked to someone who's a former sheriff when I was in the Midwest, and this was his job helping these kids. He goes, it is so much more prevalent than you think.

And what happens is families, you know how back in the day you don't want to talk about divorce because it's shameful? I didn't even understand what they were ashamed of, whatever. And now it's like, oh, that's just crazy Uncle Nick keeping away from the kids. It's like, that's not a thing. Crazy Uncle Nick. Yeah, there's too many of us already. Yeah. The thing is, like, even saying that, there's too many of us.

We should kill pedophiles. Like, if you put that up, like, in a real intimate situation, you're talking just a bunch of people that really cared about each other and were good friends. Like, I think we should kill pedophiles. They'd be like, fuck yeah. Most people would say yes. But in public, in public good friends like i think we should kill pedophiles they'd be like fuck yeah but most people would say yes but in public in public discourse like saying we should kill pedophiles like okay but here's a problem sometimes people

get accused of being pedophiles and they're not like you remember that school that uh there was a daycare school and these kids were actually being coached into saying they're little kids it was a famous case and then uh it eventually the case all fell apart but not before these people's reputations were ruined. Everything was ruined. Their business was shattered. All because these kids had made stuff up. And then other people had like coached them into making more stuff up. And then everything got crazier and crazier.

What was the name of that? It was a very famous case. I mean, they made a documentary about it. Because it shows almost like there's a mass hysteria that can go on. Especially when you're talking about something that's particularly heinous, right? Like the abduction or the rape of children, rather, because we're all so scared of that being real that we'll pay attention as much as possible. So they have these news stories.

They have all these different things that are attached to this. And then people keep probing. They keep asking questions. And then it accelerates and grows because it's a focal point of attention. People start lying. But we're also so scared so we don't want to think it could be true. Well, we don't want to think either one could be true. Right.

That someone would molest kids or that kids would be coached into lying. Both of them are horrible. I'm much more concerned with people who are dealing with this and how they can get help. Yes. No, of course. And I think that – But I'm saying that's why you can't kill them. Oh, yeah. I'm not more concerned with people who are dealing with this and how they can get help. Yes, of course. No, of course. And I think that – But I'm saying that's why you can't kill them. Oh, yeah.

I'm not advocating killing anybody. I'm just advocating for people. And I don't – I'm not a victim of this. I just have a friend. And again, everyone I've talked to knows someone. One degree of separation. Oh, yeah. And I'm just saying for the people who had gone through this, just like Matt listening to this show, this is what I told him.

just like Matt listening to the show. This is what I told him. My experience, when people come to you in a vulnerable way, don't tell them what you think they want to hear. Be as vulnerable in return. So I said to him, Matt, I don't care. I don't think of you any differently. I don't think you're damaged.

I don't think you're a freak. I think it's awful. I can't relate to this at all. I know you're glad I can't relate to this at all. And I think it's great that you want me to kind of talk about this to stop someone from blowing their brains out. This is, again, it's, again, do you, are you like, it's hard for me and have a much smaller audience than you to be aware of the reach of the show. Cause I'll get letters from people being like, oh, I'm going through chemo and I read your Twitter to make my day. And I like I can't take pride in that because i'm in my underwear being an asshole on twitter And that's independent of you kind of you know getting your laugh. So thank you, but it doesn't resonate

So for your level, I mean this kind of saved my buddy's life because of jake the snake on this show That's beautiful. I'm very happy that that happened. Um, and that's a wonderful side effect But if I thought about that only, it would never be the same thing. Okay. And the reason why I think the show works is comfort. Like a comfort level and talking to people and having fun and enjoying it. And I think the moment you start thinking about your reach and the amount of impact that it has and how many people are actually listening at the same time, you'll start freaking out and you'll never be as comfortable.

You won't be comfortable. What people like listening to is people that, like you and I are friends. We've done this a few times. I enjoy your company. Thank you, sir. You know I do. I'm a piece of shit. You know I think you're, come on, we're just jokes, pal.

They're jokes. But you know that I think you're a very funny and very smart guy. Thank you. And I enjoy your company. So when we're together, I'm like, this is great. I'm with michael we're gonna talk we're gonna have a good time it's gonna be fun i'm enjoying this like that is what one of the things that people like they like the fact that friends joke around and they're comfortable with each other and we can just change subjects and talk about anything yeah and i think the moment you read you almost like have

to hypnotize yourself to not look at the big picture you have to sort of like just stay in the pocket stay in the pocket just be yourself just all this craziness is around you like oh gotta get away from that go over this way yeah yeah but don't don't live in it yeah every single time i leave this room i'm like oh shit what did i say because you can't be on for this long i know but me too dude i've done thousands of them yeah i mean think about all the stupid shit i've said there's no way around it there's no it's plus 70 of the time i'm high you know i mean we got high as fuck the podcast right before this one so you know that doesn't i've said some terrible stupid things high and not even

exactly sure what i'm saying while i'm saying it i'm like no no that's not what i meant exactly sure what I'm saying while I'm saying it. I'm like, no, no, that's not what I meant. Fuck. It's a fun way to do it, though. It's like skiing downhill, and you're not sure if you can stop. Have you tried the new ones like Moxie and TX6 or something?

What, new weed? No, there's new types of psychedelics. You're over that shit? I don't need that. The stuff that's real is good enough. These people want to try something other than mushrooms? Like, what are you looking for? Acid's not strong enough for you?

I don't think it's... There's one that you could turn off. Oh, you turn it off? Yeah. Like with a switch? Like a nap? No, like, you know, like, if you're drunk, you can kind of make yourself sober if you need to. So, this is a psychedelic that you can switch off. Oh, really?

What's it called? Moxie? This is Moxie. It's 5-M-E-O-M-I-P-T. What is it called? There's Moxie and then 2-C-B is the other one. I've heard of 2-C-B from the Kanye song. Oh, is that from the Kanye song?

Analog of the more popular drug 5-M-E-O-D-I-P-T. Foxy Mox. Foxy Methoxy. Isn't that great? It's got an old-timey name. I've never heard of it. Interesting. Foxy Methoxy is a great name.

Hmm. So it's like, I guess, hipsterster mushrooms you probably haven't heard of it well they're always coming up with new things to avoid certain drug tests where they just alter a chemical right slightly and it doesn't that's where 5-meo dmt was not qualified classified as one of the banned psychedelics in the 1970 Sweeping Psychedelic Act. And dimethyltryptamine was labeled. 5-MeO is DMT with an oxygen molecule attached to it, which eliminates some... I don't know exactly how it works, but the visuals are very different. It looks very different. It feels very different. It's way more potent, and it was legal forever.

Like, you could order it in the year 2000s. We would get it from a fucking chemical company where you'd order it in the year 2000s we would get it from a fucking chemical company where you ordered over the internet and they would send you like a aspirin bottle of the shit and you could literally put the entire city on the moon with that astro that little aspirin bottle oh my god that's amazing it was so potent and it's this white pure powder that is like straight from this laboratory pharmaceutical grade pharmaceutical grade not for human consumption. Five methoxydimethyltryptamine. And we took it and it just puts you in the center of the fucking universe.

You feel like you're a part of every cell and every atom and every neutron, everything. You're part of everything. You're in the soup of it all. There's no detachment between you and things. Yeah, yeah. Everything just, whoa. You disappear for like 15 minutes. You're sure of everything. You're in the soup of it all. There's no detachment between you and things. Everything just, whoa. You disappear for like 15 minutes. You're sure you're dead.

You're absolutely 100% sure you're dead. And it probably is what happens when you die. And then you come out of it. You're like, what in the fuck? I just got that from a company? I just ordered that with a Visa card? It's crazy. This is pre-PayPal.

You'd be able to just buy this stuff There was a host of these different things Like Do you remember Salvia? I was just talking about that today Is that still legal or not? I don't know, it's a good question Because it's kind of fallen out of favor

It's not something that people talk about a lot But when people found out that you could just get Salvia From a head shop Head shops are supposed to be You can buy bongs, you can buy velvet posters, but there's nothing there that can get you fucked up. But then they started selling salvia because it was somehow illegal. And it is one of the most mind-blowing psychedelics known to man.

For 10 minutes, yeah. It's fucking unbelievably powerful. Ari Shaffir did some on a podcast and he lived an alternative life for three months. He had a family, he had jobs, he had friends, and then all of a sudden, he lived an alternative life for three months he had a family he had jobs he had friends and then all of a sudden he came back to reality and he was like what i love this in an alternate reality our chef here has friends yes his friends in real life i'm one of his friends he had different friends that i didn't even know he just went into this place and lived another life i think he was under the ocean too yeah there he is right there right there. Oh, wow. So he's gone. And he was getting

Red Band, of course, filmed it. And so he got very violent when he woke up too. Oh, like violent, violent? Yeah, like, get the fuck away from me! Everybody was fucking with him. Because it's disorienting. Yeah, he's confused. Because you're physically paralyzed. Yeah. So he was like, get off me, get off me. Sam Tripoli's got his sunglasses on. It was chaos.

Anyway, he came out of it and he said that while he was out for 10 minutes, he lived like three months in a different world. Jesus Christ. And then you have to wonder if that's the real one and this is the fake one. Ah! Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong.

That's what apparently when you would have the Catholic priest going down the aisle, waving, that would either be sage, which is, I think, a derivative of salvia divinorum i think not a derivative a cousin maybe a close relative i think sage and salvia divinorum are extremely close okay in terms of like uh the genus genus genus what's the genus for sage i think it's real close i think it's it's one of those things where they think that maybe people were burning that but uh they were probably also most definitely burning cannabis and so they were wafting through the aisles with cannabis smoke getting everybody

secondhand high huh yeah and that's one of that... He's going to have that experience, yeah. Yeah, to take them into this fucking Catholic journey. You know, the guy's wearing a robe, just fucking these stained glass windows everywhere, like, holy shit, and look at the epic structure. You're looking at these gigantic, beautiful artworks that they're calling buildings. Sage or salvia. Okay, all sages are salvia.

Over time, though, the term sage has been closely aligned with cooking or medicinal use, and the term salvia. Wow. Over time, though, the term sage has been closely aligned with cooking or medicinal use, and the term salvia has been given to more ornamental members of the genus. Nevertheless, salvia is the Latin name or genus given to all these plants. Yeah. So sage is salvia.

So salvia divinorum, this incredibly potent psychedelic, is common sage. Wow. Or close enough. Basic for all intents and purposes yeah in the neighborhood of it and it's like a mix of acid and uh wheat yeah look at those guys tripping balls son those guys are walking around with salvia blowing salvia smoke that that's not a coincidence man they could have picked fucking cedar bark like they chose to take some super potent psychedelic and

waft it through the air as they're walking back and forth. There's also that theory that the Salem Witch Trials are because they're all eating ergot. Yes, from the bread. And they're all tripping. Yeah, early frost. Yeah, that apparently is a really good one. They really think that that really could have been it.

Well, they also, there's a book called The Oracle about the Oracle of Delphi, right? And she had these visions and she would prophecy the future and they went there and they found that they found her stool she was sitting over poo or her stool that she sat on it's got three legs to it yeah yeah i thought like an animal what's it called sample copro what's the thing for dinosaur poo fossilized copro something oh um they you can get those um dinosaur poo yeah fossilized yeah yeah um it's she so they found she was sitting over a crack with natural gas coming out so she's getting high off of whatever that is oh no shit so there's natural gas leaking out through the

ground where she was partying yeah so of course she's gonna be speaking gibberish and having all these visions because she's getting it's like it's not like like um like uh when you what's with the when you inhale the yeah yeah laughing gas when you go to the nothing yeah oh nitrous oh it totally makes sense yeah i think that's probably a lot of these cases of course wacky things that people did i mean it only makes sense i mean they they never did figure out what soma is in the ancient Hindu. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, they think it might have been some kind of psychedelic, but they don't know what.

There's all this different speculation. Some people think it was a commendatory, that it was psilocybin mixed with something else, and lotus flower. There's all these different theories theories but nobody really knows but soma was obviously something that they were taking as a sacrament that would have these profound effects that's most likely the root of all of these crazy religious experiences these people were tripping their fucking balls off and they weren't lying like god did come to them oh yeah yeah god did come to them out of the burning bush and spoke to them that's

the other thing that the burning bush they think that these uh scholars in jerusalem think that the burning bush is probably the acacia butch which is rich in dmt oh so that's probably why this is the the metaphor right the the burning bush and god spoke to them in the burning bush that's probably what it really means they were tripping, they were smoking it, tripping balls, and they met God, and he came back with, this is the only way we're going to get along, we've got to stop raping each other. And the other thing is a lot of these old mystery religions, right? You have to be initiated

into them. And if you're going to join this cult or whatever, for lack of a better term, and they give you here, take this, you are going to experience something, not only that no one ever, that you've ever heard of, but like, you don't even know how to handle it. Yeah. And it's it's will change your life permanently.

But there's no vocabulary for it there. It's not like now where you know what acid is. You're like, holy shit, this is religious. Right. You would think it's God. Yeah. You met God. Yeah.

Unless it's bad. Then you meet the devil. You know about that guy, John Marco Allegro. Do you know who he is? No. He's a guy who deciphered the Dead Sea Scrolls. Oh, OK. He worked on the panel for 14 years, and he wrote a seriously controversial book.

He was an ordained minister, but he was the only one on the Dead Sea Scroll translation group that they put together that was agnostic. Because he started studying while he was an ordained minister, but then he started studying theology, and he was like, this is all fucking crazy. Like, what is this? So he became agnostic, and he wanted to look at the etymology of the words and so he it was his conclusion after 14 years that the entire christian religion was a gigantic misunderstanding and what it really was about was psychedelic mushroom experiences and fertility rituals. And he broke down the word Jesus to an ancient word that an ancient Sumerian word that means a mushroom covered in God's semen. And the idea was that the rain, which would make everything grow, was God's come.

And that it wasn't a bad thing. Like they didn't think of come as bad. They wanted to live. Everybody wanted to have children. They wanted to live. Everybody wanted to have children. They wanted to prosper. Yeah. And that when the rain would come, mushrooms would appear almost instantaneously. Have you ever seen how mushrooms appear after a day?

It's overnight. It's seconds. Yeah. And when they would eat those, they would trip their fucking balls off. So they had decided that this was Jesus. And that this was... It was God's son. Yes.

God created this from his own seed. This is what Marco Allegro's, his research was pointing to. He was trying to say that what was really going on was these people were trying to hide a lot of what the psychedelic rituals are from the Romans

and from the people that captured them. So they hid them in stories and parables and then there was all sorts of problems in the translations. There's just like, you know, you're taking things from ancient Hebrew and you're breaking from ancient hebrew and you're breaking it down to latin and you're breaking it down to german and english and i can't i can't believe he got a positive reception for this if you're taking on didn't necessarily he uh the book got bought out okay by the catholic

church and then recently reinstated and then bought you bought out? They bought it. I think they took it off the market. I think you used to be able to only get a copy of it. You used to only be able to get a used copy. Okay. And then Jan Ervin put it out. He republished it like a few, I don't know, I want to say maybe eight, ten years ago.

So now you can get a hold. But he also published another book after they took that one back. I don't know the total history of it, but he published a second book. And the second book was the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth. And the first one was the Sacred Mushroom and the Cross. Wow. But it only makes sense. If you think about people who lived back then, and we know that psychedelic mushrooms aren't

recent. Right. They existed forever. Right. So these people people found them and they most certainly did there's a lot of depictions of them and there's also a lot of iconography a lot of um like you see shapes that resemble mushrooms like all over the place and some of the ancient artwork and even people that are dancing naked under the influence of a mushroom. So there's a translucent mushroom shape that surrounds them in these ancient paintings. And these religious paintings, these people are dancing. So most likely they were tripping balls. Well, if you didn't know any better, of course you would think that's God talking to you. If you didn't know what psilocybin is, you didn't know what dimethyltryptamine is, you didn't know what any of these things are.

Well, you're also going to hear literal voices. Yes, literal voices. So it's not even that you're like, it's not a metaphor. You're going to hear a voice talking to you. Right. So people that think that like these people who created religion were all liars, they're probably more likely trippers. Because if you look at all these religious stories, they're all crazy and weird and

fantastical and wonderful. wonderful but most of them are like guides to live life in a more virtuous or pious or moral way right that's what most sure the tenets of a lot of these religions well that's what you get when you trip when you you trip you you get you got to be a better person yeah that's what you get you get this like profound humiliating humbling i shouldn't say humiliation but humbling in the face of this titanic expression and an experience that you can't even describe with words and then after it's over you want to be a better person and there's also a sense of comfort yeah that it's going to be okay yes it's going to be which is what religion traditionally gives a lot of people like the sense of reassurance that someone's

looking out you're not going to accidentally, you know, go into. It's not even that. You get a feeling that even if it's not okay, it's okay. Right, yes. Like when you die,

it's okay. Yeah. When you trip balls, like one of the things that Larry Hagman said, remember Larry Hagman from Dallas? That is, I will say Dallas is probably

the greatest show of all time. Great fucking show. That is, and people confused with Dynasty, which was trashy. Garbage. Dallas was one of the i think it's literally the best show of all time my opinion was his name jr what was jr ewing that's

right well he tripped balls and talked about it on cnn and said that it was one of the best experiences of his life because he no longer was afraid of death that before that he was afraid of death and the one thing that tripping and tripping hard apparently really did for him is that he no longer held that fear and he had stared death in the face because it was alcoholism you know he had to have a liver transplant or whatever it was so it was no joke yeah he was a huge alcoholic he had a dope house that was for sale in topanga and unfortunately i wasn't on the market for a house but i would love to buy that guy's house that show had i think the funniest line of all time which is is Victoria Principal, who's like the good guy,

was Pam, come into his office, she's the good guy, right? And she's yelling at JR and he would look at her with a straight face, like he would never wink. And I'm going to get it backwards, he goes,

Pam, I've always thought you were stupid. I never made any mistake about that, but I never thought you were crazy too. It was just like, holy shit,

total beast. He was a good bad guy. Yeah. He was one of the first bad guys on TV, like Tony Soprano type dudes. Oh, yeah. That you like rooted for. Right. Because the show, the villain was Cliff Barnes.

So it was about an evil person versus a bad in the sense of low quality person. His enemy wasn't a good person. He was just this loser who was jealous of JR. So it was very smart to have bad versus evil as opposed to good versus bad yes it was so good good fucking show yeah back in the day when there's only like five shows on tv yeah five channel four channels if that during jr wasn't that three it was three fox came later yes no no it i mean it lasted from what 78 to 1990 i think so fox was around by then, but yeah. Yeah, Fox was around when I was in high school.

That's what's crazy about The Simpsons. Simpsons was on from day one. It was so good. They're so great. You think it's watchable? Yes. It's like fan fiction at this point. I love it.

You still watch it? Love it. Do you still watch it? If it comes on, I see it, I watch it. The rerun or the new one? Whenever's on. I'm not picky. Okay, I'm very picky.

The old ones were amazing. The old ones were amazing. My favorite one ever was when Homer ate the hot peppers and went into that fucking dream. Boy, there's a shock twist. That's your favorite episode. I never saw that. Loved it. The chili pepper.

Yeah, it was so off the charts weird. Have you ever done the ride at Universal? No, it's that. It's amazing. Wait, they have the ever done the ride at universal no it's that it's amazing wait they have the homer peppered ride they have a full-on virtual reality ride at universal studios based in the simpsons and is one of my favorite rides of all time okay it's fucking amazing yeah i'll give you some spoiler alerts okay the little kid becomes giant a lot of crazy shit happens explosions you're on a roller coaster it's nuts

it's so fun it's so good okay it's so good so good okay it's psychedelic it's chaos it's and it's the simpsons that's you never seen it no you can pull up a video of what it looks like to ride i think it used to be the back to the future ride didn't it oh is that it i think so what they at least ran it the same way. I don't know. They just made Martin to Bart. Maybe they have both there and they go back. I don't know. I'm just talking ass right now.

I have no idea if that's true. But I remember the Back to the Future ride too. Now that you're thinking about it. Apparently they just redid the Jurassic Park ride too. That's supposed to be cool. But the Simpsons ride is amazing. It's so good. It's so good because it's all virtual.

You're not going anywhere. You're sitting still, but you swear to God you're on a roller coaster and you're flying. Is it like one of those where the seat moves too and such shit?

Oh, I love that shit. And you're in front of this massive high-definition screen with incredible graphics. Do you put the glasses on too? I don't think you do. Oh, okay. I don't remember though.

I don't remember. I did something like that in Orlando. It was really cool. The best one, the best one is the Avatar one at Disney World. Okay. It's Flights of Passion. That's fucking incredible. That's so total next level.

I saw some Disney dorks on YouTube reviewing the new Star Wars ride that just opened up. They said it's very close to, if not maybe better than that. Wow. Blasphemy. I don't know what the ride was or what they did. Blasphemy. I'm sure it's good. It's supposed to be 20 minutes long, too.

Oh, okay. This new Star Wars. This is the Simpsons ride. A bunch of stuff happens to you. I'll try to get out of the air. Can you get into a car? I remember the car part was the thing. Yeah, let this go.

Back to the future. Yeah, play it here. So all this crazy shit is happening right in front of you. And it's just fun. It's a really good one. Oh, dope. It's really fun, dude. Oh, and it's coming right at you.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm sure the chair's shaking Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah it's crazy Those are so much fun What was the other one We were just looking at

Oh the Disney World Avatar ride The Disney World Avatar ride You climb onto this thing That looks like a motorcycle Okay And then they put goggles on you

Put this like helmet in Strap you in place Literally lock your legs in place And all of a sudden You're on a dragon And you're on a dragon. And you're on a dragon in Avatar, and it's full. This is it. There it is.

There's a dragon. Full HD virtual reality. You get smells and wind and everything. Really? Oh, it's so good, dude. It's so good. It's so good when it's over, you're like, fuck. I want to live there.

People just want to get right back in line. Do it again. Yeah. I haven't gotten a good ride in a long time. It made me really think, and the first time I did it was, I think, two years ago, but it made me really think, this is going to get real weird. Because if they can do this now, 10 years from now, what the fuck is it going to be like? I was at the Gas Digital Studios, and Ralph had these 3D glasses.

And it's basically, you have to take an an elevator And then you're walking in the street And like there's a part where there's like a wooden plank And they put a wooden plank in real life on the side On the carpet and I was scared We have that right here Yeah it's terrifying Yeah it's crazy I did it the other day And then the plank disappeared

And then you like see the rock And you start falling to the ground It's fucked up You know how they tell you when you're a kid If you die in your dreams, you die in real life, which doesn't make any sense. How would you know? But that's what this feels like.

It does feel like that. Yeah. Who the fuck knows that? You die in your dreams, you're dead. Shut up. I'll force myself to die in my dream, bitch. I'll come back and haunt you. I'll show you I'll die.

Imagine if they made an Alex Honnold one. An Alex Honnold. He's that climber from Free Solo. The guy who Free Solo climbs. Oh, Jesus. El Capitan. Oh, yeah. That's no joke. Straight faces.

Oh, my God. We were just talking about him. Even discussing him lightly makes my hands sweat. I don't know. I don't understand how he conquers that. Is he suicidal? No. Not at all. No, he's not at all. He's just really good't understand How he conquers that Is he suicidal? No Not at all

No He's not at all He's just really good He knows he can do it But yeah There's chaos theory Comes in at a certain point Right?

Like if you're If I'm fighting somebody A billion times At one time I'm gonna land that punch To take him out Yes But in his

Look at that Oh Jesus Yeah Different guy But it's the same spot. Okay. That's the same spot? He just did it?

It's just... Because they're going horizontally upside down, right? Dude, that is so crazy. The fact that someone even can do that blows my fucking mind, but the fact that someone can do that 2,000 feet above the ground is just insane. That is insane. So there's a route that you have to go through. And as you're going through that route,

you've got to continually chalk your hands and shove them into this crack and slowly make your way up. And he first ascended it. I can't even look at that. I know, I'm so sweaty. He first ascended it with ropes and he marks his path

and he makes his detailed analysis. And then he ascends it, I'm sure he ascends it with ropes without actually using the ropes and knows that he can pull it off okay so that okay so there's a lot of work that goes into this look it doesn't fucking matter look at that fall and he's got big ass gorilla hands he's like a thin wiry guy with these meat like a sausage hand that's what tree frogs have right they're small and the hands are gigantic yeah Yeah. Well, they're very muscular. I mean, he's fucking just climbing and pulling himself.

And I'm sure he could do like fingertip push-ups. Yeah, yeah. Pull-ups, rather. And his back must be insane. Insane, yeah. And he's light. You know, you have to stay light. Well, that's the thing with the proportion, right?

Because if you put on too much muscle mass, it's going to be... It's like this weird delicate dance that they got to do. Yeah, the best climbers. I was... Something I've been following recently because I got into these Alex Honnold videos. And then I didn't know bouldering was like what they call it. They call it bouldering. Okay. But the best guys that do this are these really almost anorexic-looking guys that are just super shredded.

Like there's no weight right like no extra weight anywhere and there's this gym i forget what the gym was some climbing gym where they're doing all these different exercises uh and chin-ups and and planks and stuff while hanging off of two fingers so they're doing two finger chin-ups and they're doing two finger chimps where they literally literally like hold and extend their legs in front of them and then pull themselves up like and basically do like a muscle up yeah two fingers like hanging on a rock face like there's also some little asian girl who does all this stuff she's like 12 and she's like a spider monkey no what no she's too young get her down well i don't know how old she is 12 14 but it's it's, but you see her climbing like this, and it's just amazing.

I'm just glad I can do pull-ups now. Fuck. Those fucking people, that jolt of satisfaction when you get to the top of a mountain like that. Oh my god. What are you doing, sir? That's going to break off.

That thing's barely hanging on. And this guy's like, I'm just going gonna climb it bro fuck fuck that fuck everything about that this is just for instagram too they just want to get that good profile and people are falling man you know like a bunch of people fell in in uh yellowstone did they no grand canyon a bunch of people fell in the grand canyon like an unusually high number lately. That is preposterous. The fact that this person can even do this.

Is that a woman? What? It must be easier when it's narrow. She's more man than me. What you can do with your legs that way, right? That was not above the ground very high. Look, I don't give a fuck. Pretend it is.

Pretend it is. I mean, if they can do that, I mean, how often do they fall? Fuck that thing. Fuck getting under that thing either, by the way. I'm not even going to camp under that thing. It's not long for this world. Look how much it sticks out. That's crazy.

Get out of there, man. We've all seen enough Wile E. Coyote cartoons to know how this ends. So he's going to saw it, he's going to look down, and it's going to be the end of it. What does that call for people, Jamie? It's called the rhino or something? Rockland, South Africa, rock climbing, it says. Yeah, the rhino rock climbing. The rhino.

Yeah, I can see that. Fuck that. Dude, I saw there's a Nature's Metal post that I saw where there was a hyena pack broke into a safari. They had a safari camp and killed a kudu in the middle of the lobby. So these people are really getting the safari camp and killed a kudu in the middle of the lobby so like these people are like really getting the safari experience like in the lobby of the place where they're staying to go on safari a pack of hyenas slaughters a fucking kudu hyenas are the most fucking look at that look at that oh

my god oh my god imagine we're gonna go see some elephants and it'll be amazing And a pack of hyenas Just turn that fucking place Into a slaughterhouse What do you call a group of hyenas? Do we know? Is it a pack? It's a term It's gotta be like a laughter of hyenas

It's a weird term Yeah And the females are transgender Yes Well they're not transgender But they have a micro penis No Large clitoris

Engorged Clitoris It's large They're matriarchal too So they're bigger than the males I have a whole bit about them. Large clitoris. Engorged. Clitoris. It's large. They're matriarchal too, so they're bigger than the males. I have a whole bit about them. It's like female bodybuilders. Did you know that 60% of all hyena babies suffocate to death? No, how?

During childbirth. Why? 60% because they come out of the dick. What? The females have a dick. Right. The babies have to come out of the dick. No, it splits open?

Yep. Really? 60% suffocate to death. It's called a cackle. Cackle. Okay. Technical term is a cackle. They're usually referred to as packs.

Go back to that picture. They also get tamed pretty easily. I went to a zoo where they had a pair of them. They were very sweet. I guess if you feed them. Yeah. But they're smart. You know what I mean?

Yes. But they'll try to fuck up lions, man. Oh, they steal from the lions. They fuck the lions up too lions They're like gangsters Because there's a whole gang of them And the lion's like alright And they're like no no we're doing this They bite the lions too

They try to eat them They're gangster when they're all together But look at that picture man That is so insane That's going to be one funny Yelp review Imagine coming downstairs for some coffee In a newspaper early Today we're going to go see some giraffes

Oh Jesus I'd want dibs on those horns. They have plenty of those horns, man. Really? Yeah, they're shooting those things left and right. Look at that thing. What is that? Back that up, Jamie. It said there's more info on their story. Oh, look at the unicorn. Look at that thing.

It's got three horns. What is that? Is it three? Dude, it's got three. Oh my god. What the fuck? What is that? The first one, middle horn, or it's got a deformity. If you told me that that was an animal, I'd be like, fuck off. That's not a real animal. Go back to that thing. What is that thing, Jamie?

What is it called? It's a type of cow, isn't it? Three horn cow? Well, not the three horn. I think the third horn's a deformity. No animal has three horns. Okay. So that's just a rare one.

It almost looks like the water buffalo horns. But it looks so perfect. No, the water buffaloes are curved. They're right above your head. Oh, those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that thing. No, no, it's not.

This is like that Texas thing. That's a Texas thing? No, that ain't a cow, bro. It does look like a cow. You know what? Stop. That might be bullshit. Go back to that.

They like stuck it on there? Yeah, go back to that yeah go to the middle one can't you put your cursor on that and pause it no no not like a phone dude that looks fake what's going on that'll house face does it count that is a cow I told you yeah he shorts a cow I'm not sure no look at the back that's not a cow yeah there's they have those homes that do like they call that a dewlap but really like that yeah what's it called a zebu is it a zebu maybe it's got a lot of deformities it could be a zebu it's maybe i'll look and see i saw one of those in real life with the two horns and it's just like the talk about the

neck strength it's just like oh yeah i typed it in and there's a pic that exact picture came up of what three horn cow so it might just so it is cow. It's called an Ankole Watusi. Okay. A modern American breed of a domestic cow. Okay. Whoa. Yeah. It's not natural.

It's a modern American and they call it a Watusi? How rude. That thinks it was in Uganda. Go to that picture down there. There's another one with three horns right below you. There's a few. I was trying to see if they were real or not. Look at that one.

Is that real? That's not real. That's like a hat put on it. Yeah. It's like a wizard cap or a dunce cap. That's a few. I was trying to see if they were real or not. Look at that one. Is that real? That's not real. It's like a hat put on it. Yeah, it's like a wizard cap or a dunce cap. That's a cap, too. Oh. This is the one from Uganda. I don't know if that's...

So sometimes when animals get an injury to their bone plate, they'll branch off like elk. You'll have, like, they'll fight with each other. Is that real? That looks real. But that's not uncommon deformity. People have horns like that. Sometimes elk fight with each other. Is that real? That looks real. But that's not uncommon deformity. People have horns like that. Sometimes elk fight with each other, and they stab each other in the head.

And when they stab each other in the head, it breaks the pedicle, and then it splits off into two different directions. So you'll have, instead of like that, where you have two main beams that come out of the animal's head, you'll have two main beams and then a third. So a third one will look like a spear. And on the one that has two, there will be no points. It will just be these spears that

grow straight up with no additional points. Well, same thing with lots of plants. You top the cap off and there's going to grow two or four branches. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Nature finds a way. Yeah. But look at that. I mean, it's a form that happens sometimes. Okay.

That's pretty dope. Why do I like that better than two? Let's see. Look at the one right to the left's like a deformity that happens sometimes. Hmm, okay. That's pretty dope. Why do I like that better than two? But see, look at the one right to the left. That's what I was talking about. Those horns look just like those. See, but here's the thing. If they all had three and that one had two, I'd be like, two is better. It's rarer.

It looks more symmetrical. Three looks stupid. Yeah, I don't like... I wish our cows didn't have three horns. Yeah, what's the... What was the middle horn... What's the benefit of that? Better way to fuck you up. Do horns. Yeah, what's the middle horn? What's the benefit of that? Better way to fuck you up. Yeah, do they sell them?

Well, that was the thing about one of the ranches that I was on. They had one of these animals, an elk that had broken antlers. Okay. Or broken pedicure or whatever it is. Pedicle, right? Pedicle, yeah, that's right. And I knew it sounded wrong. And it was branching off and forming these spears. So it was fucking killing all these other elk.

Oh, wow. Because instead of clashing and locking up like all these antlers do where they have all these additional points, what they do is they lock in. This would slide right through and stab them in the heart and stab them in the neck and stab them in the body. So this one elk was killing everybody. They'd go to war with him, he'd just kill them. That's the alpha. He had an injury. Well, that's also evolution at work.

It is evolution. Well, it's not going to be genetic so he can't pass it on. I wonder if eventually, over many, many, many, many, many generations, that signal will somehow or another get through. Obviously, something happens where they develop something like that in the first place. If it became better that they branched off in some new way that lets them stab each other a little bit better, those animals would breed better.

Yeah. Or, yeah. The craziest thing is that grows in a couple of months. But they also shed it, right? Shed it at the end of the summer or end of the winter. They have nothing on their head for a couple of months, and then it starts growing again. And it grows like wildfire. Isn isn't it surprisingly light because it's like it's heavy as hell that's heavy as fuck that's bone man okay but there's different kinds

of bone uh birds have bone that's not even big that's a mule deer that's small okay but that's that's heavy but i have uh an elk skull out there that you can pick up pick that fucking thing up you're like holy shit that's why if you look at a bull elk they have giant necks yeah huge necks because all that muscle carry all that weight around jesus yeah they're cool to look at they're dope i went down to um rabbit hole getting all kinds of animal stuff it's kind of fun getting animal stuff what do you mean like that pen i showed you made oh yeah that's pretty cool i got it where did you get that where did you get a pen made out of mammoth molar. That's pretty cool. Where did you get that? Where did you get a pen made out of mammoth molar?

You could just... Can I see it? Yeah, sure. Here you go. Thank you. I've got a... What do I got? Fordite.

That's a real mammoth molar? Yeah, because mammoth isn't protected because they're extinct. So you can trade mammoth ivory and mammoth teeth very easily. They're dirty.

Yeah. This is sweet, dude. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Who makes this pen? Some guy on Instagram. I'm blanking on his name. Does it make you feel more important when you're writing something

that's like from an animal? How can I feel more important? Good point. You're good at that, dude. You're good at defying. It does. It's kind of fun because the fans paid for it.

So it's like, all right, this is cool. Nice. Yeah. That's beautiful. Are you still on Compound Media? I am I've got my show

Nightshade there and my other show where I interview people you're welcome shout out to my friend Anthony Anthony's great yeah so Dave Landau

was covering for me today so thank you Dave oh beautiful he's a good dude so he can be here with us that's right yeah have a fun vacation in California

how long are you staying for I'm leaving tonight at 11 in and out bang bang no I got here on Thursday. What'd you do? Do you know who Ethan Supley is?

Why do I know that name? He's a character actor, American History 10, Boy Meets World. American History X, you mean? That was the joke. He was on My Friend is Earl, right? Yeah. Is that what it's called? My Name is Earl.

My Name is Earl. So he has a new podcast talking about fitness and body issues. I did that. He's a great dude. I saw Bridget Phetasy, who has been on your show. Yeah, she's great. We recorded also. She's hilarious.

She's one of my favorite Twitter follows. I'm having dinner with her tonight. Beautiful. I will. And my favorite place here in LA is the Museum of Jurassic Technology. So that was really... Jurassic Technology? Yeah, the Museum of Jurassic Technology.

What is it? You don't know about this? No. It's Jurassic Technology? Yeah, the Museum of Jurassic Technology. What is it? You don't know about this? No. It's so Joe Rogan, really? Oh my God. It's dedicated to the lower Jurassic. So basically, it's a museum about museums and you go there and you're looking through shit

and you're like, I don't know if this is real. So they have exhibits about like Antonius Kerscher, who was from the 1300s, who said the world is tied with secret knots and using magnetism to prove God. Then they have microscopes where someone used butterfly scales to make images on that kind of level.

They have exhibits about Cat's Cradle. They have exhibits about, oh yeah, there's the microscopes. You're not allowed to use cameras in there. So it just keeps unwinding, unwinding, unwinding. And I'm a very Willy Wonka person. And you're in there and you're like, this is absolutely magical. Oh, yeah, yeah, they've got a room.

That's horns from a woman, apparently. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That grew out of a woman's head. But you know, back in the day, museums, half the shit was fake. So you're in there and you're wondering, is this real or is this not? They have an exhibit now of dice that are falling apart, like dice that are dying uh and they have an exhibit on mobile homes of california so i love that place where's this place again it's in culver city no shit i've never heard

anybody talk about really yeah have you never dude it's the best place in la look at that look at the stars too it is 4. stars on Google. And you go in there and you don't know what the hell you're looking at. It's closed though. Yeah, but I was just there yesterday. It's amazing. Oh, Monday it's closed. Wednesday it's closed. Tuesday it's closed.

That's crazy. It's only open Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. What if I want to find out about cool shit on Monday? Well, internet. Maybe they need to have a better business model. Well, I mean, it's... It seems ridiculous. People like museums on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

L.A., everything is closed on Monday. I wanted to go to cool art galleries. I had a whole good list, and they're all closed. Are they really? Even the Broad is closed. You should go to the LACMA. Yeah, LACMA is open. It's a terrible...

It's a disaster. Well, they're rebuilding it. But it's not what's a terrible? It's a disaster. Well, they're rebuilding it. But it's not what's a disaster. What's a disaster is what they call art. There's a plexiglass box that's on the ground. It's just an amber box. No, seriously? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And I go, what is that? And they go, well, it's open for your interpretation. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a line, like a wire around the thing you can't pass through. I'm like, why can't I sit on the box? Like, no, that's a can't pass through I'm like Why can't I sit on the box Like no that's a piece of art I'm like you're kidding

Wait you're Really Oh yeah It's so dumb It makes you angry Okay And then there's There's another art exhibit

That was videos Of people playing catch Oh my god That's it Oh my You're not joking No I'm not joking That stupid fucking thing

Is just sitting there And people are like Oh my god brilliant That's like I Oh, you're not joking. No, I'm not joking. That stupid fucking thing is just sitting there. People are like, oh my God, brilliant. That's like Ikea. Oh my God, amazing. Amazing. That makes me sad because there is so much good contemporary art. Like that? What's that?

What is that? I like the paintings, though. In the back, the middle. That one's pretty cool. Oh, well, there's definitely some cool shit there. But when I saw that amber box, I got violent. All right, we're out of here. Yeah, done.

Yeah. I got angry. Like, you made me pay money, and I'm going to see this fucking amber box? Like, really? Like, out of all the art, out of all the art, you put that on the bottom? You put it on the floor so people could stare at it in the L.A. Museum of Art? You know what it is? It basically turns

the audience into performance artists because everyone looks at it or you lose your shit so you got triggered. I didn't get triggered. I was like,

oh boy. I went with my kids but they were like, what is that? I go, that's the box. Why do we have a box? I go,

that's the art. The art is the box. They were angry. I don't know. I think there's an art to angering children oh for sure yeah yeah they're hilarious the more i talk about this box the more i like it it's so goddamn dumb it made me angry well look what about marcel duchamp in the urinal like what is that over 100 years ago marcel duchamp was a painter right and they were having an exhibit and they asked him to contribute something. He goes, alright. He takes a urinal,

puts it on the thing and goes, it's called Fountain. And they didn't know what the fuck to do. So they finally included it, but behind a curtain. Assholes. Yeah. It's hilarious. A lot of those fucking art assholes. The art world is a weird world, man. Yeah, I don't know it at all. Because people catch

fire, they become hot, and then you look at their stuff and you're like, I don't know it at all. People catch fire. They become hot. And then you look at their stuff and you're like, I went over to this guy's house. He owned an agency in L.A. I mean a big house in Aspen. Fucking beautiful house. And he had this thing on his wall. It looked like a six-year-old took some tissue paper of different colors and glued them in some weird fucking shape. So I said, hey man is that did

your your kid do that and this agent goes that's actually a blah blah blah that's a blah blah i go what do you mean wait a minute you paid money for this yeah he said it's worth thirty thousand dollars i go that's worth thirty thousand dollars that what about the guy who's takes mickey mouse and puts x's over his eyes and his painting is sold for like 10 million. Amazing. Do you know what I'm talking about? Keep that hustle alive. What's that? Keep that hustle alive. He's got one word name and he's just some dude

and he makes Simpsons and just puts cross. Cause. Cause. KWS. Good. Have you seen this guy? No. Look at his art.

How about I won't? It's action. That's pretty cool. It's in my show. This ain't the Michael Malice experience. Come on, Michael. Why you make me dumb? I heard something about this recently.

I don't know if it's accurate because it sounds like a juicy truth, but it also could be easily disproven that what you're saying, that jacked up prices of art is some rich person scammed for tax evasion, sort of. Oh.

It's a write-off? They can get an appraisal really high and then they can donate it to a company and not pay pay taxes but they can donate a 20 million dollar i'm sure i'm sure there's some of that i'm sure however i know people that are these art collector folks that buy this stupid stuff and they have it all over their fucking house and they want to tell you what it is and where it came from it's a thing it's like buying wine that costs a thousand dollars a bottle there's people that are into that they're into showing it to you and they have it all over their fucking house and they want to tell you what it is and where it came from it's a thing it's like buying wine that costs a thousand dollars a bottle like there's people that are into that they're into showing it to you and they're into look at this watch it's from the 16th century there's people that are into that shit and they love the fact that they have some

unusual piece of art on their wall and they love the sophisticated feeling they get by describing what the artist was trying to say see i have this guy this guy, Sean Chow, C-H-A-O. He makes dioramas. What is a diorama? It's like a 3D sculpture. It's like a little scene. And I have it right over my desk because when I went to L.A. like seven years ago, I went to Giant Robot. They had an exhibit.

I'm like, this is really cool. And one day I'm going to buy it. And I bought it. And now every day I look at it, I'm like, oh, this is like something i really wanted but it was like a grand it wasn't like 30 grand and anyone can look at it and be like oh this is makes me happy it's actually art yeah look at sean chow is his name there's some art there's look at that like that oh wow it's fun that's pretty cool yeah but that makes sense to me right you can look at it and you'll understand why i enjoy it yeah i get that there's things i get I get that. You can look at it and you'll understand why I enjoy it. Yeah, I get that.

There's things I get. Yeah, because that's not tissues. This is a fun thing, a fish underwater. Yeah, it's someone who made something. Yes, with his hands. And you're also helping someone directly by buying his product. But here's where the hustle is. Isn't that great?

Look at that. That's pretty cool. But here's where the hustle is. When people don't really like it, but they pretend they like it because it's the cool thing to pretend you like. I think it's more they also, same with clothes, like you're like a label whore. It's like, oh, this is a this. It's like you just want to buy the name. What's up with the sneakers that kids are wearing that have a fucking green tag on them?

It was explained to me. Are we total boomers now? There's a green tag. What is it? I think I'm a boomer. I'm not a boomer, right? I'm a Generation X. But boomer's a state of mind.

Yeah. Oh, okay, cool. I'm in. This green tag. What is it? Off-white. Is that what it is? Yeah.

So they have this green tag on this pair. I was buying a pair of Nikes for my kid. And they're like, oh, those are off-white. I go, what's up with this green thing? They're like, oh, you leave that on. I'm like, fuck you. I'm not leaving this stupid plastic tag on. No, you don't leave that on.

Wait, what is it? It's this thing that people do. That thing. Giant-ass tag. They leave these stupid fucking tags. And these are huge. They're cumbersome. They look dumb.

But they wear them on their shoe. It's part of the thing. It's part of the brand. This person was trying to explain it to me. It's part of the brand.'s part of the brand This person was trying to explain it to me It's part of the brand Look in five years it's going to go away Why is it here? Because it looks different

No It looks different It's like a flag Someone should have a knife And they should go up to these fucking kids And just cut that off And go no We're about to go to war

They're making you soft and stupid This is probably a plot By the Russians andussians and the chinese and the iranians to try to make sure that our kids grow dumber and dumber this is probably something that was started out on instagram by one of those ira internet research agencies what's this that's the people that make all the propaganda from the russian troll farms the ira you never heard of that i've not heard of it i am am a Russian troll. Internet Research Agency is a state-funded organization that's this huge group of people that makes these – they did some hilarious stuff. There's a woman named Renee DiResta. She investigated this and reported on it.

She came on the podcast to explain it to me after I'd heard her on Sam Harris' podcast. But they did stuff like they would have a fake Black Lives Matter page that they started, and then they would argue with people about Black Lives Matter, and then they would organize a Texas separatism meeting. They organized a Texas separatism page. They had a page, and then they organized a meeting, a Facebook meeting, where these people would be there at the same time as another meeting they set up between these Muslim people. So they'd have theas separatists on one side of the streets and the

muslims on the other side of the street having a protest at the exact same time like they were doing shit like this on purpose and fucking with people and they did a lot yeah and they did a lot of anti-hillary clinton stuff and a lot a lot of like different like uh like they would pretend that they're black women. As a black woman, I cannot vote for Hillary Clinton. She does not represent us. And they were just sowing these seeds of discourse or discord all throughout social media. That's wonderful.

Wacky social media pages. It's kind of hilarious. Yeah, the more discord, the better. But of course it's going to happen. As soon as the government realizes that if you rile people enough, they'll engage. And then you can actually shift opinions. Yeah, of course. Because you're good at it.

Especially if you're funny. Yes. That's one of the things about all these funny memes. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, this is why I'm very scared for the Democrats. Because Joe Biden might be the nominee. He does not have a good social media team.

is might be the nominee he does not have a good social media team when when he had this family photo for halloween uh all i just replied with a photo of a crack pipe right and where's hunter hashtag was trending and i'm like no matter what you think of joe biden it is not acceptable for his twitter not to be able to handle this and anticipate it right especially because you have someone who just tweeted his way into the presidency uh three years ago yes like where are the people who are helping this guy you know with his social media game yeah they can't help him the the the people that are mean and funny like that are all republicans there's something there's something about the the memes that go against trump versus the means that go for trump like-Trump memes are so much funnier. Yeah, the left-cant meme is the thing.

They're not that good at it. They're not that good at it. It's a mean kind of humor. One of my tweets became a meme when your girl Tulsi took out Officer Harris, and I said, if there's one thing a Hawaiian knows, it's how to roast a pig. And that went wide. I wonder if she knows about that. She does she she knows did she see it she saw it she saw how do you know she's because i send it to me and i'll make sure she sees it okay please i will absolutely to her uh her chief of communications whatever follows me on twitter oh yeah yeah perfect yeah she's she's good I like her. I like her as a person. I'm just

glad that now that Harris is gone, it's just going to be hilarious for the next year, whoever it is. Well, the Harris thing was weird, man. Like, that they didn't know the stuff that you could call her out on. Oh, yeah. That Tulsi did. But Tulsi didn't even get to the horrible stuff. The horrible stuff was

when she was threatening single moms with jail time. Oh, yeah. Their kids were truant. Right. Imagine you're just barely staying above water as a single mom and you got to literally make your fucking children terrified that you're going to go to jail in order for them to go to jail. She was laughing about

that's how she got people to go to jail. That's how she got people to go to school. And that's the thing is that I don't think she actually cared. I think this was her means to further her political career i think you're right because when you are you could say a lot of things about joe biden and i have on twitter to go on stage and call him a closet racist or imply that come on like this is that what she did the first debate she goes oh you were against busing and he's like i was against it on the federal level like what are you talking about she's like oh blah blah blah it's like who are you fooling you nasty nasty pig and i'm just done yeah they're playing games when she when she dropped out like the fans

chipped in on my live stream and i spent 400 on ham and i did a ham tasting because the pig was done oh it was a lot of fun have you ever tried that like spanish ham that iberico yeah yeah it's like 200 a pound i have tried it it's delicious The pigs only eat acorns. Yeah, that's that stuff that Chris Ryan brought in. It's fantastic. It's really good. Fantastic, yeah. So. Yeah.

I've had wild pigs that only eat acorns. And it's like, oh, fantastic. Ham is so good. Yeah. Wild pigs that only eat acorns have a great smell to them. And it's dark. It's like a dark meat. Oh, so good.

Yeah, I tried like 20 different kinds of ham and i loved every minute of it yeah i know a dude who um he raises pigs and he feeds them hazelnuts and chocolate yeah and the bacon and it comes through yeah i don't understand how and magical jesus you gotta feed them mushrooms too yeah i don't know what happens can you imagine they're eating mushroom ham on your tripping face? Why, I guarantee you, I wonder if it works. What happens when pigs eat psychedelic mushrooms? They must break down. Come on, right?

I don't think so. You think it goes into the meat? Reindeer are addicted to something called the Amanita muscaria. That's a mushroom. Amanita muscaria is a Santa Claus mushroom. Okay, why Santa Claus? It's the mushroom that's connected to the myth of Santa Claus. How's that? It's got a mycorrhizal relationship with coniferous trees. Okay.

Meaning it grows under pine trees. It looks like a shiny package. No. Think about pine trees that we have. We put in our fucking house. Yeah, of course. And there's little shiny packages under the pine trees. Do you have a picture of this?

It's red and white, which is just like Santa Claus's outfit. Yeah. And reindeers love it. And they fucking trip balls when they eat it. And they fly away. Really? It was all a shaman who used to come down during, like, and they fucking trip balls when they eat it, and they fly away. Really? Seriously. It was all shaman who used to come down during, like, when they were telling people not to

eat these mushrooms. Shaman would sneak into people's houses through the fucking chimneys. Only if you were nice. Yeah, it would just climb up to the roof. Or maybe only if you were naughty. Because they were watching the fucking front door. So people would climb down through the chimney with a bag of mushrooms, and they would all trip balls together.

Wow. All speculative, of course. Wait, you can buy these mushrooms? No, you can pick it. Amanita muscaria is a weird one. It's a weird one. That's what it is. I've taken it before, and it does something,

but it doesn't do something as profound as psilocybin, but reindeer, or caribou, I should say, which is what a reindeer is. Caribou, love them. Look at that face. And there's another thing they do with this. Reindeer apparently will dive on your piss. If you're in a lodge and you're eating the Amanita muscaria and you urinate outside,

you have to be careful of reindeer because they'll literally tackle you to try to get to your piss. Because they smell it. Because it smells so potent. So people actually, when they trip balls, They get a second high By drinking their own piss So they're tripping balls They piss into this glass And they drink their own piss Yeah because it's going to be

So concentrated coming out Your body wants to get rid of it As fast as possible Yeah This is the mushroom That's on the cover Of the John Marco Allegro book The Sacred Mushroom

Okay That's that mushroom What would be The evolutionary advantage Of a reindeer eating this? They trip It feels good But they're going to be vulnerable Woo I don't think so Some animals What would be the evolutionary advantage of a reindeer eating this? They trip. It feels good.

But they're going to be vulnerable. I don't think so. Some animals, including like Vikings, they would trip and then go into war. And they thought it actually gave them an advantage. They would call them berserkers. Oh, because they're not going to be feeling pain and they're not going to be fearing death. They're not going to be fearing death. Well, first of all, war was such a part of life.

It was so normal and so constant. It was a constant. And they wanted in some way or another to be heightened or prepared for it. So whether they were drunk, which a lot of tribes would just get drunk and then go into war, or whether they – because they would just be able to endure and be willing to do things that maybe they wouldn't be able to do or be willing to do if they weren't drunk. Maybe they would anticipate the potential dangers of combat and they'd freak out. But when they're drunk, they'd be like, fucking war! And just run in. And well, they would do that with mushrooms too. I just remembered this is Foothill Antiques for the Mammoth Tooth.

Foothill Antiques. They're great stuff. It's a guy. I'm glad we're not live anymore that way I could buy them all. Well, he's got Fordyte also I got from him. Do you know Fordite? What is that? You know about Fordite?

No. This is such a cool thing. So all the car companies. Where's the pen? I'm going to write that down. Foothill Antiques. All the car companies used to use spray paint, like manually, for the different cars, right? So over the years, you'd have layers of this paint, and it became basically an artificial mineral.

So when you take a cross-section, it looks like here. Oh, give me that pen. Why didn't I give you the nice pen Foothill Antiques Fordite You have these car companies So they're spray painting the Ford truck black The next year it's red The next year it's green

Over time the painting accumulates And you can use that cross section To make really cool things Look up Fordite Jamie section to make really cool things oh wow yeah look up for it i jamie it looks really really cool they make jewelry painting yeah look oh that's real yeah that's from a car that's from a car plant because look at every year it's a different color oh it's a really cool substance i've got a couple of fordite pens warthog tusk um that's crazy wooden one from the DMZ.

Yeah. Wow. Isn't that amazing? That's really cool. Yeah. I never heard of that before. And so one more time, they're taking it out of- Like a Ford plant or a Corvette plant or whatever. I have one of Corvette, one of Ford.

And over the years, they chip it away from the walls and they have a block of it. There you go. So it gets that thick. Yeah. Wow. And you could do whatever you want with it, including makeup and turning it into a pen. Dude, that's fucking cool. Right?

That's like a cool form of a fossil or something. It's like an industrial fossil. Yeah. Looks cool. Because you've got the layer. It's like tree rings almost. And so you have a pen made out of that? I've got two.

Oh, you lucky devil. Yeah. He sent me one for free. So how do people know that you're into pens? Oh, so I do something called spite funding, right? So what happens on Twitter is every so often some cretin will come for me. And I'll be like, it would be a shame if people send me money to waste on things I don't want just to spite you. And I put up MichaelMallis.com contribute.

And I go, I will post receipts. And people send me cash and they say, this has to be wasted. So I don't need seven pens i don't need eight shaving brushes i don't need a signed copy of langston hughes's book i got them fossils uh and this is all because of a cretin yeah comes after you on twitter and i'm like okay people are going to set and then they go oh you know you're a snake oil salesman i'm like no no no no one's getting anything out of this except for spiting you. I don't really need these things. How does that make you a snake oil salesman? Because they're like, oh, you're conning these people out of money.

They're like, no, no, no. It's all understood. This is total waste of money just to fuck with you. Well, they definitely don't know what snake oil is then. Yeah. Now, why are you engaging with people on Twitter? You're a smart guy because it's fun you enjoy it it's hilarious it's my biggest uh activity really clowning idiots that's your number

one thing it's i'm really fun with it and i'm really good with it i've started doing a little bit of psyops on twitter too yeah so like for example what i've been doing is a lot of these people these candidates they're like press secretary will have fewer followers than me. Right. So I'll say something like, hey, there was an article in The New York Times today about your candidate. How freaked out is the campaign and how much is this a reflection on you not being able to do your job correctly? Because, you know, when that article hits The New York Times, you're in the campaign, you're in the bunker, you're freaking out, what does this mean?

And if someone's like, fuck you, they're going to be like, no, fuck you. So you do this even if there's not a real story? Well, no, if there is a story. Oh. Because you know they're in full panic. Okay. So when they're in full panic, then you attack. Yeah.

Why do you do this? For fun. And because they're bad people often. Which ones are bad? Jeremy Corbyn and Kamala Harris. Those are the two I thought were the worst other than that I don't think anyone's a bad person who's the Corbyn guy again what do he's court waiting labor right what's the name again Jeremy Corbyn yeah what does he do

he was the head of the Labour Party in the UK that's right okay he just had their biggest disaster election since 1935 worst oh that's right he he my favorite thing He did was He said his pronouns Oh yeah He said my pronouns Are he him

Yeah yeah yeah He did this video My name is Jamie Corbin Jeremy Corbin Whatever the fuck it is Elizabeth Warren Has her pronouns on her Thank god she does

Yeah Well this is signaling That you're part of the tribe Yes Yeah you're willing To believe in nonsense That bitch is 150 years old She knows what her

Fucking pronouns are Mum and mummy come on with this nonsense your pronouns are what's your name is it elizabeth you're a way you're a lady right come on well in her defense in her defense warren is a man's name so it's not there yeah there she heard oh yeah it's so stupid it's so stupid yeah uh what do you do you know who janay marie crock is no so janay marie crock i had her on my it's just also funny how i'm not saying you're a conservative how conservatives react to this stuff she was was, as Matt Krakowski, like the world champion power lifter, right? Thousand pound squat, something crazy. Oh, my God. Comes out as trans or gender fluid, whatever, Janae.

And people, I don't know my show, people freaking out, competing as a man. No, no, no. As Matt, yeah, before and after, he was a world record holder. He competed as a man. And now they're like, well, if he competed as a man and got a world record, now he wants to be a chick. I don't know what to do about this. And they don't know how to react. What's happening there?

She's an amazing – there's a documentary. Transgender powerlifter Janae Marie Kroc shares unbelievable – of course it's unbelievable. Look at that lady's arms. I mean, now I'm going to be correct and call her a lady. She's toned down. She's lost weight. There's a documentary on her called Transformer. What's happening there?

And so she competes as a woman? No, no. She competes as a man. As Matt, years ago, there's a lift named after her. There's like four people who have lifts named after them. The Arnold Prest, you got the Pendlay Rowe, deadlifts after Kevin Deadlift, and Crockerose, after Matt. Deadlift is named after a guy?

That's a joke. Man, you are a boomer. Put this guy out of here. Go back to that picture again. Transgender lifter, Janae Marie. Look at that. What is happening here? Compete for IFBB Pro. That's bodybuilding. just competing as a male

jesus i'm so confused but then again eddie uh izzard was on here and eddie has been like the most open transgender person forever and uh he still calls himself eddie okay and he likes women yeah she dates women. Okay. She just likes fucking them with makeup on and shit? I don't know how she fucks them. That's the thing. What kind of chaos? She's a really interesting person.

This is Kali Yuga. I had her opening jars in my show for me. Oh. I bet she could do more than that. It's weird to say she because she's still clearly on male hormones for me. Oh. I bet she could do more than that. It's weird to say she because she's still clearly on male hormones. Yeah. Clearly.

We discussed that on the air. She does, I think she took estrogen. She did both and it was kind of hard to get the balance right because you have to. She still does both?

I'm not sure what she's currently running. Why bother? If she's competing as male, she's obviously going to be running tests at high levels. Look at the size of her. But that's smaller. She, he, dick or no dick? did you get to the bottom of it so what are we doing here here's the

thing here's the thing here's what i think if you are setting a world record in powerlifting i will call you whatever you want and i will respect you okay you don't think that's a major accomplishment sure i don't care if you want to be a girl or a boy. I'm cool with it, but it's just hilarious. Still hilarious. Okay. Because it's a sign of the chaos of this moment in history. I do love the chaos. I know you do. And tricksters historically have been gender fluid. Loki

and all these figures. Good point. Coyote, they always switch genders. Yes. That's a good point. So maybe it's a sign of the chaos of our age that there's more transgenderism or intersex people. Do you think there is or do you think people are just talking about it more? I think it's – there's so many pluses and minuses and it's such a weird loaded situation and I don't – the other thing is if you are um a guy who has feminine qualities that doesn't make you non-binary just like if you're like a tomboy yeah you're not you're not non-binary of course

yeah yeah of course there i mean there there's butch women yeah we're really they always happen yeah there's always been a feminine man yeah it doesn't mean you're but that's also a thing that really makes uh some gay activists angry because they like, if you leave children alone that have these feelings, there's a large percentage of them that become gay men. And you're almost saying there's something wrong with being a gay man. You have to become a woman. Like it's almost an anti-gay stance. Well, do you know the – To interfere.

The world capital of sex change is Tehran. Do you know about this? Yes, I do know about this. Tell the story, though, because it's really interesting why they have to do that. Right, because they regard homosexuality as depraved, but if you want to become a woman and have sex with men, that's fine. So they make them basically have these sex changes. Yeah, and a lot of them just

don't really totally go all the way through with it. Well, because they don't think of themselves as women. They're like, I want to suck dick. What? I don't have a pussy. So they pretend to be a woman, but they don't really totally go all the way through with it. Well, because they don't think of themselves as women. They're like, I want to suck dick. What? I don't have a pussy. So they pretend to be a woman, but they don't really get the operation. Yeah. But they're trying to force a lot of them into getting operations. It's a fucked up place, like in the Middle East. What do you think about this whole, you're more informed than me about international

issues. I mean, for Christ's sakes, you went to North Korea. You've never been? Still? No, still. It's the new Milan. That's what I heard. What do you think

about all this crazy shit that's going on right now with Iran? I have a great book idea and it's such a great book idea I'm going to just drop it here in the hopes that if I don't ever do it

someone does it. Okay, so you give it away? Yeah, I'm going to give it away. I hope somebody does this book. A lot of people do it at the same time and sue each other. It's my idea, bitch.

Or some publisher wants to contact my agent just give me me a deal on the spot, I'll do it. Okay. You'll do it. I'll do it. So let's not tell anybody about it. Well, I don't want to do the proposal. So if they want to just make me an offer, we're good. Blood Lust, the media's love affair with war.

For 100 years, Spanish-American War, William Randolph Hearst, right? The sinking of the Lusitania. We were taught about yellow journalism when we're kids back you know 1903 blah blah blah blah but now it's not they love war they can't get enough war trump is only presidential when he's bombing syria they just are desperate to push the war drums and what i love about again tulsi is she's served and she's like war. We have to start seeing war as a last resort instead of a first priority and a first response. And I don't know what's going to happen as a consequence of Iran. This guy, as most people know, Soleimani, was a huge deal.

Like he was really revered in Iran and very hated by people elsewhere. But Trump also started killing other people. And like Yemeni took somebody out and some other countries go, they're going on a killing spree. So it's, I don't think this is going to be World War III at all, because Iran knows they can't win. And I'm sure right now- Yeah, but you know, they're doing exercise right now with Russia and China. Sure, let them do it. Sure. We do exercises with South Korea every year and North Korea freaks out and it's like, okay, we're okay, it's just flexing your muscles, right?

I think very strongly we're never going to be privy to this, that there's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that we don't know, that people are talking and, like, what's going to happen. I'm sure. Well, there must be. But the idea that he was willing to just do that and that he even has the call, that he can make the call. Like, here's several options, sir.

Right. Which one do you want to do? Oh, I want to get that guy killed. Well, I think it's amazing that we've gotten to the point where you're blowing up a wedding, right, and you're killing a lot of people and you're killing just him and one other person. Is that what they did? Yeah, they only killed two people. Like, the precision of that is something that's got to be scary to the Iranians. It should be scary to us. It should be scary to us, yeah. It should be scary to us it should be scared to us yeah it's scary to everybody because it's not

like that can't come over to here oh what do you mean that kind of technology can't be used against americans by another country well certainly could be frankly if they're going to be terrorists i'd rather be taking out one person than three thousand no no for sure i'm just saying the precision of it oh yeah the fact that they have that kind of ability just just the drone ability in general there's the ability to wage war in countries we don't even occupy like the all the different drone attacks in yemen oh yeah and that are like really sketchy in terms of like the legality of it like what it's not really a military strike but it's definitely a military strike i mean i think we've been playing fast and loose with rules of war for a long time and i think everyone knows this is nothing particularly insightful

that war and the rules of war written by the powerful people i remember when people were talking about how much of a warmonger obama was because drone strikes went up considerably from obama uh from george bush to obama and i'm like yeah you know what else went up drone technology yeah yeah that has nothing to do with him they're just getting better at bombing people they know how to do it better and this is something i've argued people and wonder about when you become like obama was very anti-war yeah through his campaign he was a big lefty he went to the ivy league schools blah blah right we know his culture that he came from he gets in the white house he's drone bombing everybody.

What do you think that is? The question I have is do you think, and I'll get my Alex Jones hat on, do you think that they sit you down when you're president and they're like, all right, here's what you can be in charge of, but here's how it's going to be internationally? And I wouldn't be surprised if that's the way it happens. I think there's no way until you get into office you ever really understand what information, what, you know, what plans that they can reveal that terrorists have,

what, you know, what kind of, I mean, there's got to be some kind of intelligence that they receive that probably scares the fuck out of them. Oh, yeah. When you stop and think about how many nuclear bombs there are, how many radical terrorists there are, how many different sects, how many people fight over each other. Here's some photographs of a crime scene that we found that ISIS behead all these kids.

This is all real stuff that they could show you. And they go, look, we have done our very best to keep everybody safe. But there's only one way to keep doing this. We've got a drone bomb. Yeah. Okay, drone away. I know that many years ago, and I'm not supposed to know this, but I'll be all. Are you going to take something and reveal it?

There was a nail bomb in Grand Central that they caught. And no one talked about it? No one talked about it. Who found the nail bomb? The authorities, the right people. And they took care of it? No one talked about it. Who found the nail bomb? The authorities, the right people. And they took care of it and nothing happened. But think how many soft targets there are.

And overseas. Who put the nail bomb down? It must have been, what, at the time, Al-Qaeda, I'm guessing. I don't know. I don't have any further information. I'm going to question you further. You can question me all you want. You're going to have to waterboard me. Michael, tell me the story again. So there's this place, Grand Central, where the sky is want. Are you going to have to waterboard me? Michael, tell me the story again.

So there's this place, Grand Central, where the sky is backwards. Have you been to Grand Central? Of course. Have you been to the spot where the bomb was left? Probably. How do you know where the bomb was left? I don't know. But since I've been throughout Grand Central, I probably was there. Okay. Go ahead. Tell me the story again from the beginning. This is how they do it. And they eventually

get you to trip up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You tell the same story over and over and over again adding shit to it you're probably nervous worried about dying it's like scat you know you the words trying to change a little over time yeah yeah but you just lie you know if you're a guy who left a bomb grand central station they just keep getting you to tell that story over and over again and you're exhausted and then they twist it around just a little bit just a little bit for you and then you agree with. And then they twist it around just a little bit, just a little bit for you. And then you agree with their twist. And they add a little more. It was like Stalin's right-hand man, Beria, said, find me the man and I'll find you the crime.

That's a real scary thing about cross-examining people and just examining, just interrogating people. I'm not saying that cops do this all the time that they do get people to believe they did something wrong but you can get someone to believe they did something wrong especially if someone's like limited intellectually oh yeah you can talk your way into an arrest but you can't talk your way out of one right um and it's it's and if they want you there's a there's an old line that a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged and a liberal is a conservative who's been arrested. Because when you get in that government's clutches,

you're going to be very glad that there's the ACLU and all these Miranda Rights people who are looking out for the weak and want it as hard as possible for you to get arrested and go to jail. Because think about this. It's like being audited. Is it ever going to be nice? It's never going to be nice. Never going to be nice.

So getting arrested, it's not going to be, oh, we're sorry we bothered you, Mr. Smith. No, no you mr smith no no no no yeah we're not your friendly country irs right oh we're friendly we're just a country store irs yeah hey i'm sure there's some sort of miscommunication we want to make sure this all works out well for everybody i just love that here's a box of cookies i saw some meme where they're like here's how the irs works there's a number you owe they know that number they won't tell you the number you have to figure out the number and if the number you pay isn't the number that they have they're gonna get you in trouble yeah it's like

you have to play a game yeah they're just trying to prosecute as many people as they can yes it's like people that pull people over speeding like you gotta prove that you didn't get pulled over speeding i was pulled up when i my lift driver at the airport was just paused i threw in my trunk got in the car within five seconds the cop was writing him a ticket and i paid for half the ticket in the tip and i couldn't believe it and i'm standing and the guy's like oh you know he's just got it he's just doing his job i go well you've got a shitty job like what kind of person are you that this is what you do you're writing a 75 buck ticket for someone who's like a lift driver no and he's not even blocking traffic he's not stopping anywhere you're a horrible human being well they have quotas that's a real problem quotas are gross

i've talked to cops and they have like a certain number of tickets that they have to write every month or they're going to get in trouble. Yes. And to protect and serve. What kind of servant is telling me to pay them money I don't want to pay? It's an officer of the peace stealing money. Yes. It's horrible.

This is how they keep the peace. Yeah. Keep you scared. Yeah. Don't get Russian-starred on the cops. It's not going to end well. What do you think about all the Hong Kong shit then? I am so hopeful for the people of Hong Kong. And I talk about it's not going to end well. What do you think about all the Hong Kong shit, then? I am so hopeful

for the people of Hong Kong, and I talk about it on my show, Nightshade, constantly. My hope is it reminds me of Poland 1989, right? In Poland 1989, you had this big labor movement, Solidarity. They weren't conservatives. They were lefties. They were labor.

And they were like, look, the Constitution says we have democratic elections. You have them. There's only one candidate. Let's have elections. Let's have elections. And Margaret Thatcher came there, supported them. She was loved in the Eastern Bloc. So the Polish Communist Party sat down and they're like, all right, let's have these elections. And then they were sometimes a little bit worried that, well, what if we win all the elections? Because they asked the people, who are you going to vote for? Oh, the communists, the communists, communists. The elections happen. Solidarity wins every seat except one. And the question is,

are they going to honor this? Are they going to wave it away? They honored it. And that was the beginning of the end of the Soviet Union. I don't think you could have Tiananmen Square today because Tiananmen Square was before smartphones. Tiananmen square was before the internet there's no footage tank man wasn't killed he was pulled away hong kong we're seeing the footage and when you see kids getting beaten and tear gassed you don't need to speak any language to look at and be like something's not right here and decide with the people who are getting beaten this is a very martin luther king thing like even the racists were like, I don't want these people to have dogs attacking them in water hoses.

This is outrageous. Yeah. So I'm very, very hopeful this is going to work positively to start the end of the evil Chinese dictatorship. I hope you're right. I hope you're right. And that would also work towards liberating North Korea, which is obviously my pet issue.

Do you think that it's possible for China to ever turn it around, though? Forget about Hong Kong, but mainland China? Turn what around? Turn what around in terms of their whole dictatorship? Oh, yeah. Russia did it. The Soviet Union did it. But did they?

Yes. Did they? Yes. Are you a puppet of Putin as well? He's my uncle. I mean, they kind of did it, but they're kind of a dictatorship right now. You can get a passport. You're not going to get your organs harvested.

You know who got a passport? Who? Roy Jones Jr. Who's that? Roy Jones Jr.? Who's that? Who the fuck are you, man? I'm a piece of shit who's never watched Snatched.

Dude. Roy Jones Jr. is one of the greatest boxers of all time okay he won the super middleweight championship went up to light heavyweight and heavyweight okay he beat john ruiz to win the heavyweight championship a guy who fought at 168 pounds okay he's a beast okay sure he's one of the greatest of all time. And he also has a Russian passport. Okay. Holla atch boy. Okay, that's awesome.

But the point is people can leave Russia. People can't leave China. And now they're going in a bad direction with North Korea instituting their social credit system to control internal migration, which is really, really bad. What do you think about people being able to uh go back and forth like like what do you think about travel back and forth from russia into the united states i mean they must be like watching every single thing you do i don't think it's as pervasive listen you know what they're watching everything we do here you're right come on what do you think about Snowden being over there? I think Ed Snowden should be allowed to walk free. I think so too.

I mean, and it's insane that we drove him into the hands of the Soviet Union. And what he was exposing was illegal activity by elected officials. He was exposing – Stalin in his wildest dreams and his KGB never had that power of surveillance like Ed Snowden revealed, that every single cell phone is being hacked into. Aren't they recording literally every call? Yeah. I mean, it's – and we just sit and we're like, oh, this is fine. It's just the level of – talk about right to privacy. The level of surveillance that this government is putting forward is insane.

It is crazy. And remember when Obama was confronted about it? He's like, just metadata? No worries? Yeah, it's fine. Just trust us. Just metadata. Yeah.

We're just collecting metadata. And Snowden was like, no, no, no. I was reading people's emails. Right. Yeah, we all read emails. And there was some report. I forget her name. Like they were deleted.

She was on her computer and you could see the file being deleted right in front of her. She took a video with her camera. Yeah, because she was breaking this stuff. Of course. Listen, if 4chan can get into your, that hacker 4chan can get into your computer,

they can. Of course they can. Of course they do. I mean, it's, Do you think about that before you Google things? Oh,

that ship has sailed. Oh, that's going to be a problem. Oh, that's going to be a problem. Oh, oh no, oh no.

Oh, there's another, oh no, there's another Oh no that's another one You ever go to I sometimes I'll go Like I'll wake up in the middle of the night And go on Etsy or Wikipedia

And you wake up And you're like Oh yeah I forgot I was going down that rabbit hole While I was in the middle of the night Just like looking up random things No I don't fuck with my computer at night at all Really? Yeah

Why's that? Cause it's not good for your brain Okay Like you could go down Like I like to wind down computer at night at all really yeah why is that because it's not good for your brain okay like you could go down like i i like to wind down at the end of the night i'll occasionally check an email what time do you go to bed depends uh if i'm performing it's usually not until midnight ish maybe later usually later if it's on a saturday night like this saturday night i had a 10 45 spot so i wasn't eating it the show runs usually a little bit late i don't think i went on until It's on a Saturday night. Like this Saturday night, I had a 10.45 spot.

So I wasn't eating. The show runs usually a little bit late. I don't think I went on until like 11. I was off stage like 11.15-ish and hung out with my friends. So I didn't get out of there until 1. I didn't get home until 2. That's pretty normal for the comedy store. And then I usually always write too when I come home.

Huh. Yeah. It's usually my favorite time to write. Everybody in the house is asleep. I'm a little high. You know, pull out the laptop, start writing. You seem like a guy who uses Windows. Correct.

Ah! I knew it. Yes. Android phone? Correct. Ah! Ha ha! I used to do tech support in Windows on Microsoft Office.

I use Windows for writing a lot because of Lenovo's Lenovo's keyboards are superior for a laptop. Wait, what does a guy who uses Windows

mean? What does that mean? With you? Yeah. Oh, you're a contrarian in a lot of ways. But they're the most popular, aren't they?

Yeah, but not amongst creatives or people in show business. Oh, okay. You're kind of both of those. Sure, that's fair. Okay. You're fighting the trend.

But you seem like the kind of guy, even if it was better, you would use it just to tell everybody to fuck off? A little bit. That would play into my calculus. Have you ever thought about going Linux? I don't even know what that is, really. You don't know what Linux is? Not really. I know it's an operating system, but I wouldn't know how to convert to that. I don't think it what that is, really. You don't know what Linux is? Not really. I know it's an operating system, but I wouldn't know how to convert to that.

I don't think it's that hard anymore. I think the kernels that they have now, you can sort of install them on a regular Windows machine. You might even be able to dual boot. Okay. Can you dual boot with a Linux machine? Rebooting my computer is like the most scary part of my day, so I really don't like doing that. Lenovo's keyboards are so superior, and that's why i write on windows their keyboards like a thinkpad keyboard is so superior to anything apple has the touch and all of them have like a scout like a half moon shape to them so your finger what would you

describe that as what do you mean those the little semicircle but you know the divot on cave concave i guess yeah you know where every finger goes. Okay. And it's so easy to type that it's less effort. You don't think about it as much. It's far superior. I use. Plus, it's like a plastic.

Like, it's carbon. I have an X1 carbon. Okay. So everything has a soft feel to it. It's more comfortable to type on. Like, people go for the Apple, like, industrial look. I have an Apple laptop. You know, I have another one, a new one.

They're not as good. The typing experience, like getting a thought down onto a Word file, right? You can do that better with a better keyboard. It's just that simple. aesthetic this like uh this sort of uh modern industrial aluminum piece aesthetic over what's more effective is very strange to me i have my keyboard looks like a typewriter because i'm a hipster what do you mean it's like typewriter keys and it clacks really yeah oh a round one i have one of those it's a mechanical keyboard yeah yeah yeah i have it it's like it looks like lights up so it's really fun also you also, you can feel where every key is.

Yes, it's concave. It's just like what you're saying. That's so big, man. It's fun. But this is like, everybody wants the thinnest possible laptop, so you have these real short travel keys. And you don't know when you're typing. Yeah, it's not good.

It's like, did everybody forget what a fucking keyboard's for? It's like, are you such a bitch you can't even carry something that's a half an inch thicker? Get the fuck out of here, man This is nonsense like you're making things thin for no reason like the like looks even cool. We got thin it is I'm in the future. Yeah, you're in the future. We can't type the fuck out of you. Let's go back in the past You could write something down. It's memorable. I'm back in the past. I'm on my typewriter for you, and I love it It's fun at night. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, I have a mechanical keyboard on my desktop and it sounds good. To me, that's kind of like I feel like I'm producing. But it's just so easy to know where the keys are. There's no mistakes. I had one of those 15-inch

Retina Macs and when I would write on it, it's like, geez, everything's flat. There's really short, like half a millimeter of key travel. So. It's like, geez, everything's flat. There's a really short, like half a millimeter of key travel. So it's like click, click, click, click. You make so many typos. Right. I make literally half the typos on a Lenovo keyboard. I love my

keyboard. It's awesome and I enjoy it. Do you run virus scans and all kinds of shit and do you cover your webcam with tape when you're beating off? I should start doing that. do run buyer scams i do not cover my webcam with tape when i wonder some fucking four can trolls in there let them let them watch maybe they get an alert whenever you porn gets pulled up in your brows like ding ding ding ding ding ding and they run they're in their their parents house their mom and dad are screaming at each other, drunken slurs.

And they hear, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, excuse me, Michael Malice is jerking off. I've got to go. And they run down the basement, bolt the door shut. They're going to see quite a show. Imagine. Imagine if they found a guy dead because he was so excited to beat off, watching you beat off, that he tripped,

fallen down the stairs and broke his neck, pants half down, and the cops break in to find out what the fuck's going on, and it's you jerking off on a webcam, and this guy's dead with his neck snapped at the bottom of the stairs, his pants half down. Well, given how many people jerk off to watching me jerk off, statistically, that's going to happen at some point.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Would you be excited? Yes. Would you? Yeah. That's awesome. I'd be like, that guy went out with a bang. Yeah.

Like, my cum killed him. For sure, there's people right now looking through, like perverts, looking through somehow or another, getting through a webcam and watching someone. Oh, of course. For sure. Of course. And especially people who work for the government. They talked about it.

I thought this was exposed. Fascinating, though, that they can do that. They're like, there's a little window into Michael's life. There he is. Listen, if you have a window into my life, it's the opposite of fascinating. I assure you. It is really. I'm about five minutes away from being Terry Schiavo.

What is this? Employees at Amazon's Ring have been spying on customers. Those videos are on Christmas where people were just getting on their cameras, to the kids like hey i'm santa go tell your parents that this yeah there's lots of them this is there's so much fucked up i've heard that i've heard that that they were actually talking to people through the uh the device and that one guy was terrorizing some woman he was like like telling her he's gonna kill her through the device oh my god that's a crime. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Captain Obvious. Jesus Christ. Oh, I got to upgrade. I'm a captain now. I used to be Private Obvious. I messed with my friend really bad. There's something called like the annoying thing.

I forget what it's called. And you said it and it goes, hey, hey, can you hear me? And it goes off at random you hear me and it goes off at random times so i put it under her bed and i forgot oh and then the next morning i get a text that just goes idiot i'm like oh yeah she's like well now you know i'm an you're an idiot because you terrified me hey hey can you hear me do you worry about apps like uh android apps being

corrupted like they apparently don't have as stringent a testing. I don't have that many apps, and I'm much more of a desktop person. I'm not on my phone that much because I'm like a recluse. Are you still a recluse? Why don't you get out? Do what? Outside is scary. You cannot meet people.

I don't ever meet anyone, and I don't know where to go to meet people. Oh. Dude, this sounds like a Christmas movie. Hanukkah movie. We're going to find out how to fix you there's gonna be eight days seven days we fail yeah and then the eighth day yeah like let's get adam sandler on board yeah adam adam you really don't you don't go out i don't know no and it's it's kind of a four i also don't get along with most people i'm not

i don't believe that because you're easy to get along with most people i'm not friendly i don't believe that because you're easy to get along with that's confusing to me but they're not easy to get along with i think a lot of people are basic as hell and they don't bring anything to the conversation there's a lot of that yeah yeah you got to find better people to hang out with you know how you do that you go outside jesus bro i have a good crew so so listen i'll tell you this my friend matt the one who was molested we had friends giving and I said Matt you have a unique opportunity to make this the most awkward Thanksgiving

in history these people all like you they're your friends sit down and tell them that this happened and he's like I can't do it I go okay how about this I'll do it if I do it against your will I wouldn't really be wrong given this story he's like dude I didn't do it but your will, I wouldn't really be wrong given this story. He's like, dude, I didn't do it.

But it would have been funny. He's got a dark sense of humor about this. A small amount of time would have been funny. And then he would have had to just deal with the weight of all these people. Which is also funny. Maybe you should stay as a recluse. I take that back. I think you're doing good.

I do, okay. You might be one of the only dudes who's mastered it yeah me and the Unabomber it's your calling yeah to never be around other humans do you know what happened

to the Unabomber do you know how that happened the brother yeah because he was pedantic oh yeah it was that but it was also

the Unabomber himself Ted Kaczynski was a part of the Harvard LSD studies was he yeah they cooked his brain. Wow. Yeah, there's a documentary about it called The Net.

Someone wrote a great tweet where they go, plot twist, Greta Thunberg grows up to become the Unabomber in a redemption arc. I'm like, that is hilarious. Because he was a violent environmentalist and a very bright man. He's a professor at Berkeley. So he went to school at Harvard. They put him in the Harvard LST studies. They cooked his fucking dome. And then he disappeared, went to Berkeley, worked as a professor to earn enough money so he could buy a cabin and implement his plan to kill everybody who was involved in technology so he'd stop this takeover of the human race, which probably is true. Yeah. John Waters, the director, he has a replica of the Unabomber's cabin as a room in his house.

Isn't that great? I love that. Who's got the real cabin? Oh, that's a good question. It was at a museum, I think, that actually just closed. So I don't know where it's going to go now. There was a museum called the Newseum in D.C. I think it just closed.

They couldn't. Traveling exhibit. Wait, they took the whole cabin and reconstructed it? I believe. I've seen pictures of it. We. I think it just closed so they couldn't. Traveling exhibit. Wait, they took the whole cabin and reconstructed it? I believe, I've seen pictures of it, yeah. We need to find it. Wow, that's really cool.

We need to find it. I love stuff like that. I do too. I did an article years ago about all these relics. Like, where's Monica Lewinsky's dress? And like, she's got it hidden somewhere.

Do you think she does? Yeah, the article that people did research. She still has it somewhere. Oh my God. What a nightmare for poor Bill. You get your dick sucked in 94, and this lady's still carrying that jizz-stained dress. Like, Jesus Christ, lady.

Let it go. He's probably going, well, she's probably throwing it away by now. No! No, Bill. Never! Never! Listen. Oh, wow.

Wow. I thought that was I thought that was a replica I mean it says it was it And it closed Holy crap Last week Yeah So I don't know

Where it's at Wow That is amazing They closed last week I missed it by a week Yeah Shit That could have been out here bro

We could have That would probably be An expensive buy Probably like me And Marilyn Manson Auctioning against each other I guess we're just Going to have to mail bro we could have that'd probably be an expensive buy probably like me and marilyn manson auctioning against each other i guess we're just gonna have to mail someone a bomb he would probably buy it who manson yeah is that the manifesto yeah original copy that's the original holy crap that's dark everyone tells me to read it i haven't read it but they said it's very smart

i read parts of it that's one of the things that's disturbing. It's just like well thought out. And also the argument is sound. Technology will inevitably lead to better technology, which inevitably leads to artificial intelligence, which is inevitably going to take over the world. Well, there's that whole singularity thing, right? What's the Ray Kurzweil? Kurzweil. And I don't know. I haven't checked in years, but I don't know if we're on track with what he predicted.

I think we're supposed to be further along. Because remember in the 50s there were going to be flying cars and there's no flying cars. Yeah. He's a 2045 guy. And what he says is that the exponential increase of technology, if you follow it to the prediction is somewhere in the neighborhood of 2045, they'll achieve this singularity. Yeah, but I think they're also finding now that there actually is somewhat asymptotic and it does at a certain point you are having like physical limitations to increasing the speed and it's not going to be that easy yeah well then quantum supremacy comes along do you know they're trying to change the name of quantum supremacy because it confuses

people with white supremacy and we really shouldn't support that so we need to change quantum supremacy they also they had was it ivm or whatever had the quantum computer and the other people like this isn't really quantum because it's blah blah blah this was a big controversy just in last month those quantum people I found its new location after the Montana Historical Society tried to get it it now exists at this fun place the FBI experience oh Jesus they own it so there's like a new divis. Interdivisional cooperation. FBI. Just a propaganda house.

Wow. So he was in Montana when he was blowing everybody up. Yeah, someone tried to buy the land, I guess, or it was for sale at one time. Whoever runs this museum tried to get a hold of it, and I guess the FBI said, we're going to keep it. Yeah, I can understand why they would want to right of course yeah yeah wow very valuable people probably will go to the fbi museum specifically just to see that cabin no one wants to go to the fbi museum otherwise would you go to the fbi museum no his brother his brother suspect that he was doing it well you know why before the

the manifesto or did he read the manifesto and then well because the Unabomber as a kid was always annoyed by people saying you could have your cake

and eat it too because he's like no no no it's you can eat your cake and have it too and the Unabomber used that phrase air quotes correctly

and the guy's like that's my brother and that's how they figured it out because he was being a pedantic dick yeah so everyone who's correcting people and spelling on Twitter The guy's like, that's my brother. And that's how they figured it out because he was being a pedantic dick. Yeah.

So everyone who's correcting people and spelling on Twitter, shut up and relax. Oh, that's crazy. I thought he just recognized the style of writing. No. I mean, double check me, but I'm 90% sure this is correct. You're saying that now that- Eat your cake and have it too. It's actually ringing a bell. Yeah.

God damn. But imagine if he was a normal guy and they just filled him up with acid and it made him say oh my god the technology's gonna take over and he's just started his his calling in life is to kill the people they're advancing technology with bombs when you're that smart you're already kind of tripping because regular people don't seem like the same thing as you do. Right. And maybe a little schizophrenic. And then they fill them up with a fucking half a gallon of acid.

Like how much did they give them? Do you know? Who knows? They were experimenting with people. I'm sure it's not going to be small doses. Do you know what Operation Midnight Climax is? No. It's one of my favorite fucked up CIA experiments they ever did.

favorite fucked up CIA experience they ever did. They went to brothels and they set up a brothel with all these prostitutes and these Johns and they dosed all the guys and used hidden cameras. Oh my God. And do you know what else? Because the guys couldn't talk about it. Because like, what happened to you, Harry? Somebody gave me a Mickey. They slipped me a Mickey and I had a bad time.

Where'd this happen, Harry? Oh, I don't know. I guess I was at the diner or something. You can't say I went to the whorehouse trying to get my dick sucked and they gave me acid, these assholes. You can't say that. And we've been trained since kindergarten that if someone says the CIA has experimented on regular people, They will tell you, and admitted it, they will tell you with a straight face that that's a conspiracy theory.

They will just use that word and stop thinking. And we've been trained for decades. And it's like, wait a minute. We've been hearing three years that there was a conspiracy between Trump and the Putin administration. That's a conspiracy, whether it's true or not. Epstein was a conspiracy.

He was conspiring with a lot of people. Weinstein, Bill Cosby, these are all conspiracies that are widely known. But as soon as you hear that term, like racist, oh, conversation's over. I don't need to hear anything else. It's amazing. Oh, you believe in conspiracy theories?

Oh, yeah. What, 9-11 didn't happen? Come on. Yeah. We were talking on the last podcast about Epstein, and we looked at some of the autopsy photos and looked at some of the accounts, especially particularly Dr. Michael Badden,

the guy from the HBO autopsy show. He's like, that guy got murdered. I got a question. Why is there no perp walk photos? Why is there no photos of him in court? Why is there no photos of him getting off the plane? What do you think? I have no answer, but isn't that weird?

It is weird. Every other person who's arrested, you see the perp walk. Yeah, including El Chapo. Including El Chapo, including Harvey Weinstein. Literally everybody, you've got footage. The media knows where to wait. Right. Why is there no footage of him?

What the fuck? I don't have an answer. And the thing is to even say this is weird. Conspiracy theory. No, literally tell me what I'm missing. Well, here's where it gets even weirder. You know that he was visited while he was in jail by women. And he'd have his assistant come to visit him in jail.

I did not know this. Oh, yeah. 16 hours a day he'd get to hang out in the lawyer's special room where they would buy out all of the pop machines and snacks, all of them. And he'd just get to sit in there and hang out. Wow. 16 hours a day. So they were somehow or another either negotiating with him or they were placating him or they were trying to resolve this issue peacefully.

They were trying to figure out a way. Like this guy knew too many people and wasn't talking. And while he wasn't talking, they were trying to, like, desperately get to him, I would assume, and stop him from potentially talking. And then while the prosecutor's closing in, while they're making this airtight case, and the only way for him to make anything more lenient is to start singing, baby. La, la, la, la. Remember? That's probably in his jail cell at night. La, la, la, la, singing yeah la la la la remember

in his jail cell at night la la la la la remember there he is supposedly remember all those files that he had

with all the people where'd they go no one's asking Jamie's gone you got him no I mean someone in the FBI New York PD

but why we're not hearing anything about it he's got names of many people not just names but videotapes of dudes fucking kids. It's just, this is classic conspiracy theory proven true. It's a classic conspiracy theory.

Because we all saw it coming. But this is a classic conspiracy theory, that there's a guy who works for an intelligence agency who compromises wealthy and famous and even intellectuals, famous people, and then takes these people and brings them to an island where he brings in a bunch of girls

that are underage and they all fuck and then he films it. He'd be like, what are you even talking about? Right, but this is all true. You think that's real? What about the fact that his number two,

she's like in Israel or something, isn't she? She's not been arrested. Brazil. Brazil, okay. She's not arrested. How is that in Israel or something, isn't she? She's not been arrested. Brazil, okay. Yeah. She's not arrested. How is that happening? How is Prince Philip

not arrested? Yeah, how is she wandering around? Yeah. Like, how have they not whacked her? Right. Well, they had,

it's not right, but that part of the deal he made the first time was that he had, I think, at least four, if not more, co-conspirators that are not allowed to be

or that's part of the deal is that they can't be arrested. How is he in a position to make deals?'m not arguing with you it doesn't make sense like what leverage do you have you're like the one the world's biggest pedophile ring and it's like all right you can't arrest my people though oh okay that's fair mr epstein sir we promise not to kill you in jail i think maybe there's a concern that if maybe she, listen, if I was going to be the guy who writes the script, I would say there's a dead switch.

Yes. And then if she dies, this shit gets out. And she says, listen, the moment I die, all this shit gets published. Epstein Powell. She's under guard. They're protecting her. Ex-Special Forces guard. Why is it that pictures of Michael Jackson?

Pedophiles, probably. Leaving Neverland. Oh, is it different? They're thinking the person watching this is really into pedophilia. Must be. Very strange, dude. Maxwell faces credible death threats

and is being guarded by former U.S. Navy SEALs and safe houses in the American Midwest. American Midwest bitches in Ohio. Yeah. In Shake Shack. Or Sonic if she's lucky. Good Lord. I mean, all she has to do is dye her hair.

People in the Midwest don't even read. They have no idea that she's there. Did you? Right? Am I right? They're not paying attention. Did you see the Prince Philip interview? Yes.

Oh, my God. So strange. Oh, I loved it so much. So strange. He seems a little spectrum-y. Am I wrong? Something's not right there. Something's wrong, right?

Because you're watching this and he's like, oh, yeah, I cut off contact with him. They're like, well, there was a dinner in August. Well, I was talking to him by then. You were the guest of honor. Oh, well. it was like what the fuck dude yeah yeah he seems like he's a little detached from reality in some sort of strange way yeah well you're you're a prince for that long you're not going to be normal to begin with right there's no way like he's you can't develop without trials and tribulations and

become and come out normal, especially when you're not just a famous person, but you're a royal. Yeah. When they asked him about hugging the girls, I'm a royal. We don't, as it were, hug. I don't hug. I fuck through a hole in the bathroom. The best part, what do you want to say?

The Kevin Spacey stuff going on doesn't seem directly related, but it doesn't seem unrelated in any way. Kill him with kindness. No, it is somewhat related because this is one of those things where things are open secrets in Hollywood and everyone kind of knows. Everyone knew that Kevin Spacey was a dick grabber. Yeah. Yeah. And it's kind of like then it's like, oh, you conspiracy theorists.

Like, you guys are comfortable with this, you assholes. Well, that's a weird one, right? you conspiracy theorists, like, you guys are comfortable with this, you assholes. Well, that's a weird one, right? Because that's like, we always heard of the wild artists that were doing things that were fucked up, but we kind of let them get away with it because they were really talented and there was no real proof. And, ah, goddamn ad blocker, you fuck. Jesus.

Financier Jeffrey Epstein once flew Bill Clinton and Kevin Spacey To Africa Oh Jesus Clinton really likes Russian Roulette He wanted to fuck the AIDS monkey I want to be patient zero I think I can fix it I got that super Arkansas cum

I can shoot it inside that monkey And start all over again And I make mushrooms grow When I'm just on the floor. Dude, he went with that guy at least 26, as many as 28 times in his plane. He was like, hey, I just flew a couple times, my friend Jeffrey.

Yeah. We're friends. I had Juanita Broderick on my show, the one who had a rape accusation against him. And I went in there hoping that she was lying. He raped her in the morning, and it was like half an hour. He went with her to her hotel room

in Arkansas. I thought it was going to be like 9 o'clock. They had a few drinks. No, she was supposed to be meeting with him about something. It's horrible what these people get away with. So you think he physically held her down? Yes, he did. No, he bit her lip just like a cat to keep her from yelling. And then when

he left, the last thing he says to there, you better put some ice on that. And another woman who accused him of, I think it was Kathleen Willey, who accused him of forcing herself on him. He bit her lip too. And the two never knew each other before. They independently had the same thing that he does. He bites her lips so they don't scream? Or he just bites their lips because it's hot to get, you whatever that's his thing oh jesus christ the thing that americans don't get which they are increasingly starting to get is that people in power are often really depraved and they will

use their power in sadistic ways and they get off on not having consequences it's not just being corrupt like oh i'm getting a kickback for hiring my cousin. It's so much worse than that. And they're starting to see it now with like the Amy Rohrbach thing. Who's that? She's that ABC News reporter. The footage leaked where she's just like, we had the whole Epstein story. We had Prince Philip. We had Bill Clinton.

And the lawyers killed it. And she was like pissed that she didn't get the scoop. And she's like, I 100% think he was killed. And it's like, yeah, this is what they're like when the cameras are off. Right. The Clinton thing is so fucking weird, right? Because you have Hillary, who was this woman who was going to be the first woman president. Everyone was behind her. And we're all thinking that she represents hope and change and all the wonderful things that the progressives want.

Sure. But then she's got this husband. Right. She's got this husband. she's got this husband a lot of weird accusations right and when when they had that debate and trump brought those women yeah to sit out in front i was like no he did oh yeah oh no he didn't yeah and melania was wearing a pussy bow was she yeah it's a certain type of knot she had a pussy bow there's a special kind of knot called a pussy bow yeah whoa yeah yeah yeah so there's a there's a lot of fucked up shit in jeffrey now we're tied he was a good guy he supported science look at them dancing it up there's jessane is that her is that melania yeah i don't know is that her? Is that Melania? Jelaine, yeah. I don't know. Justine, Jelaine.

Is that Melania? Yeah. That's Melania? I'm pretty sure. Oh, and who's that in the back right? That looks like Lady Di or something. Lady Di came back as a photographer. She's not dead.

She's hiding with Elvis. She's hiding with Epstein in Brazil or wherever he is. God, just awful, awful people. It's just amazing that you can still whack somebody As high profile as Epstein publicly In this day and age That you can say, oh the cameras didn't work Oh the guards, oh they weren't around, we didn't hear anything We just whacked Soleimani

That's different In a way it is, in a way it's not Because these people will do whatever they need to to maintain their hold of power We think that these people are in control Like when we're watching this We think that the guards are in control And the prison's in control And they've got this captive and they're going to bring him to the justice system because the justice system wants to hear his case. Sure. They want him to testify.

There's a lot of other moving pieces, a lot of players. We're very interested to see what kind of horrible crimes are committed by these elites that you know. And then all of a sudden he gets killed. So they do it right out in front of everybody's nose. What happened with Jack Ruby? Oh, same thing. It's just like how, this is the most important person on earth right now

to keep safe, and you're not doing it? Right. Jack Ruby just runs up and shoots him in the gut. Yeah. Bang. Lee Harvey Oswald, yeah. It's just like,

how are you letting this happen? Yeah. Even if all the conspiracy theories are wrong, how are you fucking up so bad that this is allowed to happen? Yeah. Right there. Bang.

Ow. It was like, ow, it was a couple of days, wasn't it, after he shot JFK? It was barely a week. It was no time at all.

Well, yeah, he's getting murdered. Of course, it's going to hurt. We should probably get that picture. That's what I look like when I'm beating off,

by the way. That's the thing that people see. That face, yeah. Jamie, let's get that picture converted into a giant metal framed photo. That's a good one to have, too.

We're going to have a bunch of good ones in like a year and a half. It'll just be full of history. Yeah, why not? Like a museum here, man. Look at Jack Ruby. Looks like a piece of shit. Has ever anybody looked like a piece of shit?

Oh, wow. He looks like Sloth from the Goonies Oh he looks so creepy Look at him I did what I had to do I did what I had to do Jesus yeah Why did he even say that he did it?

I don't remember his excuse It's not like the guy wasn't going to get the death penalty For killing the effing president Yeah but he was going to talk That was what they were really worried about That Lee Harvey Oswald was going to talk And he's going to give up Yeah but Ruby's was going to talk. That was what they were really worried about, that Lee Harvey Oswald was going to talk and he's going to give up. Yeah, but Ruby's not going to say I shot him because he's going to talk.

Yeah, but Ruby probably was under some sort of a, he probably owed money or they were going to kill him. No, but he's going to say some reason publicly, right? He's not going to say I did this because I owed money. He never did rat anybody out if that was the case.

I mean, he went to jail, and I think he died of cancer in jail. Okay. They probably shot him with something while he was sleeping. But it's just he's going to have some excuse to be like why he did it. Give him a little cancer bug. Yeah, like the koala juice. Yep. You're going to have a koala piss on him, and then next thing you know, you've got cancer.

Yeah, I wonder how long he lived. I think he lived in jail for like a decade, though. That long? When did Jack Ruby die in jail? He died in jail of cancer, I wonder how long he lived. I think he lived in jail for like a decade, though. That long? When did Jack Ruby die in jail? He died in jail of cancer, I'm pretty sure. Pulmonary embolism, January 3rd, 1967. Oh, that's not cancer, though. Pulmonary embolism.

That's a heart attack, right? Give somebody. Or is that a stroke? I think that's a stroke. Okay. Is it an embolism? It's a stroke, yeah. You can give somebody that.

Oh, yeah. Secondary to bronchogenetic carcinoma, which that is cancer. Oh, so you got cancer. They doubled up. They gave cancer at his stroke just in case. He probably had lung cancer anyway. Everybody had lung cancer back then. All those morons were smoking.

It's a crazy story, though, to this day. Until that Zapruder film got released by um geraldo rivera of all people and um god damn it what's his name who brought it to geraldo rivera dick gregory dick gregory the comedian okay brought the zapruder film to the geraldo rivera show more than 10 years after the assassination so i think it was 12 years later. I think it was 75. And it brings the Zapruder film that shows the head going back and to the left. And they censored some of the frames at certain points.

On TV? I know Zapruder didn't want a couple of frames. I was just... Oh, really? I woke up one day recently, and I saw that in the middle of the night I was reading about the Zapruder film. So you wake up and just read about it? No, I wake up like, of the night, I was reading about the Zapruder film. So you wake up and just read about it?

No, I wake up like, oh, yeah, I was reading about this at five in the morning. Did you ever read Best Evidence by David Lifton? No, is that about JFK? Yeah, it's all about the Warren Commission report. He was like this really meticulous accountant. And he was hired to do something with the warren commission report to go over it and he decided to go over every aspect okay and talked about all the different contradictions and all the things that are wrong with it and it was his conclusion by the end of

the book that president kennedy was assassinated and this is a conspiracy and he wrote a book called best evidence it's really good it's it out, though. I fucked up once and read it before I went on stage. I went up and bombed. I was so freaked out. Like, they killed Kennedy. In this about Jack Ruby, it says that it took six months for them to talk to him, and he had to ask for them to talk to him. Wow.

That's amazing. Don't you want to know why I did it? No, we're good He asked to be moved to D.C. Because he thought he was going to be killed Where he was, I guess, in Texas Or Michigan I forgot where he was being held

They just locked that dude up And said, fuck you Yeah, good luck They probably told him Listen, Drake You do us this solid We're going to take care of you in the pokey Going to give you hoods

We're going to shave your head Sneak you out the back door You're going to live in Argentina with Hitler You're going to have care of you in the pokey. Going to give you a hood. We're going to shave your head, sneak you out the back door. You're going to live in Argentina with Hitler. You're going to have nothing but hooves and steaks and prime rib and just whiskey and have a good time. What do you say? Jeez. Just ran up on him. Bang.

Probably owed money. He probably had to do something. And they probably promised him the moon. Listen, we'll get you right out of this. You'll be an American hero. We'll get you right out of this you'll be an american temporary insanity oh temporary and he just ran up or no like i was a patriot you know and i love jfk so much blah blah blah like okay yes no jury's gonna convict him yes i like it yeah so there's a lot of god there's so

many i mean that term is just once you realize that that term is used to just dismiss entire schools of thought, you realize just how pervasive our training is since we're kids. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's so many fucking conspiracies that turn out to be true. Enron, you know, go across the board. The tobacco industry. Yes. Yes. Did you ever see Merchants of Doubt?

No. What's that one? It's a great documentary that showed how the same people that were literally the same humans that used to go on TV and debate the idea that tobacco was cancer-causing or that it was addictive. And they would go on these shows, these panel shows, and they were hired by the tobacco companies to go and do this. And they would go and just, it is not addictive. It's not addictive. It doesn't cause cancer.

And they would go on these shows and just lie, right? And that's the documentary. Well, the same people went later. The same people were doing the exact same thing about climate change. The exact same thing. Yeah. That's amazing. The same human beings.

Like these people are merchants of doubt. Their job, someone hires them to go and do these talk shows and talk over people and talk really loud and have some very strong points where you show these people that they're being foolish. You don't know what you're doing. Do you ever do that? Is that part of your job? What? I thought I'd just string up. You said, wait a minute.

No, no. I'm saying if the cigarette stuff's in the 50s yeah and climate's in the 90s how are they the same they were doing it long past the 50s oh are you serious yeah they were doing it on these talk shows they would just have a guy who would claim to be an expert and this guy would go on these talk shows and just say things that are just patently untrue it's great man you should see merch it's it's one of those things where you sit back and go, what? Why would you hire the same person, right? What the fuck?

Because he's good at it. Because people didn't know about the internet back then. Right. They didn't know that someone was going to make a documentary like this. They didn't know that it would ever be revealed. This is the same guy that was going on all these other shows 10 years ago, 15 years ago, laughing at these lawsuits. Saying, look, frankly, it doesn't cause cancer. It's not addictive.

And the doctor would be on the other end who didn't understand the fucking hustle. Yeah, yeah. He'd be losing his shit. It is. I work for the Harvard Medical Department. Yeah, of course. You work for nobody. And they would have these merchants of doubt.

It's an amazing documentary, man. It's amazing. That's very disturbing. Look at that. Michael Shermer. It isn an amazing documentary, man. It's amazing. That's very disturbing. Look at that. Michael Schirmer. It isn't about the science. It's about me being a consistent team member, showing the members of my tribe that you can count on me. Michael Schirmer, Skeptic Society.

He's one of the merchants. He is. Because he runs Skeptics Magazine or whatever it's called. What is he saying? He says he's one of the merchants, I guess. You mean that he's like one of the guys that does it? No. I don't think that's it. Really? I think that's one of the merchants, I guess. You mean that he's like one of the guys that does it? Uh-huh. No. I don't think that's it.

Really? I think that's what this is saying. No. Who are these people that are listing here then? No. Scroll up. Scroll up. It must be contributors.

Characters. Characters. Yeah, but that doesn't necessarily. Oh, they talked to him about, okay. About skepticism. Yeah, yeah. He's a legit guy. Yeah, he's a legit guy.

He's not doing that. He's probably explaining how they're doing it. Right, and how they're exploiting skepticism. Yeah, because he's 100% for it. I mean, he 100% believes in climate change. He's a very science-based guy. He's not right about everything. But he's also one of those guys that believes the official story always.

You have to beat him in the head with it. And then finally... Wait, the head of Skeptics Magazine believes the official story always you have to beat him in the head with it and then then finally wait the head of skeptics magazine believes the official story almost always and then he comes up with some crazy explanation why it works and then with the epstein one was the first one he said wait a minute okay hold up hold up seriously it was like literally one of the first times i've known this guy for like eight years it's the first time in all the times that I've known him that I actually said, wait, hold on. The film's missing? This might be a conspiracy.

See, he literally said this might be a conspiracy. It was so blatant that Michael Shermer, who has never met a conspiracy, he doesn't want to debunk. He got to that one. He went, oh, this one's real. They killed that fucking dude. Yeah. Yeah. Or allowed him to kill himself at the best yeah but the even the the autopsy results are like the way his neck broke like and the way the bones and his his face broke like no like somebody choked that guy yeah somebody choked that guy they grabbed a hold of him and they shattered his neck

i i just think it's so interesting how it's getting harder and harder for them to keep a lid on what stunts they're pulling off behind the scenes. Yeah, and that's why we're going to need World War III. Because with World War III, there'll be much less scrutiny because people will be worried about contamination and radiation. and radiation and everybody that's in power will be in dick cheney's bunker down deep into the bottom of the the hole that they created somewhere around the pentagon i believe do you think that we're going to go to war over this i'm worried i'm legitimately worried that one of the things was trump made a tweet about if they attack us we will attack them with a disproportionate yes and i was like you can't say that, man. Because if you do do that,

if you say that and then you do that, what does disproportionate mean? Are you going to just nuke someone? Are you going to launch missiles into the Capitol? What are you going to do? I don't think if they attacked us that he would be in a space not to attack disproportionately back. That's what I'm saying.

But even if he hadn't tweeted that, I think everyone would be freaking out so bad. The fact that he did tweet about it, it makes you go, oh, Jesus. Because he's threatening them. On Twitter, he's basically threatening causing a war. A huge world war. Wait a minute. I think if you're killing

their big general, you're already threatening them. You're definitely doing something. It's more than threatening. It's already pulling the trigger. It's after the attack on the embassy, and he can prove that guy has a connection to 600 American, 600 plus American deaths because of IEDs that they shipped over. They don't care in Iran. I know. I know they don't.

But at least it gives you some sort of a motivation for taking this guy out. Sure. Right? I mean, I've heard Dan Crenshaw talk about it and some other people make some explanations as to why they needed to take this guy out and why it was a good thing. Maybeists i don't know i don't know if they're right or wrong i just fucking hate it i hate all of it you know i mean i hate the fact that we get led into these goddamn things that's the thing yeah that this could happen that we

people could lose brothers and sisters and friends and just all of it. The most disturbing thing I've ever seen, there was this like a group of four pictures of this little kid. I remember his name, Timmy. And it's like the first one, he's like in his little camouflage, like holding up a photo of his dad. Then they made a like stuffed animal with his dad's face on it. And then he's like holding up a sign it's like i love you dad can't wait to see you soon like the dad was dead at like 20 and they're like show some support for little timmy i'm like this is oh there's one of him kissing

the dad's gravestone and i'm like this is not good like yeah we should support this kid but it would be a lot better if he wasn't in this position it's heartbreaking and just seeing him cuddling with his dad's doll it was it really messed with me something fierce oh it's awful and we need less of that we definitely need as as little as as mean as little of that as possible it's just heartbreaking to say and he's just so cute and proud isn't it crazy though that you you really only can say as little as of that as we can you can't really say we should have no war because no one thinks right because humans are conflict and animals that kill each other but that's amazing yeah that as much as we know like our base of knowledge that we can extract information from is so giant. Our ability to communicate with each other is unprecedented.

We can translate things in real time. Sure. And still, war is inevitable. Yeah. Someone wants to take your stuff. And I don't – someone else says, I don't want you taking my stuff. This has been – but it's gotten a lot better. Definitely gotten a lot better definitely a lot better a lot better we get nuked into the stone age somewhere around march sure yeah just in time for the primaries no i mean it used to be it was considered appropriate

that if you beat someone in a war you kill everyone yes and now it's like maybe we don't need to like literally kill everyone they're like oh okay let's try, maybe we don't need to literally kill everyone. They're like, oh, okay, let's try that. Maybe. Or maybe you kill this general, and then they kill some of your guys, and then you kill a bunch of people, or they kill a bunch of your people, and they say, if you do that again, we're going to nuke you. And they say, go ahead, do it, bitch. And then you do. And then Russia gets involved. Then China gets involved.

Then Los Angeles gets vaporized. So it has a happy ending. Oh, son of a bitch. You'd be out here with a fucking crazy suit on, and there'd be no one here to listen to us. What crazy suit? What do you mean? Some sort of radiation suit. Oh, okay.

I thought you meant my clothes. Because I got an outfit ready for when I'm on Ruben. Yeah, you have a fucking apocalypse suit. Special tie. Apocalypse, the combo character, Darkseid. Little atomic signs in it. I look like a New Wave singer. Look, it's kind of amazing that we haven't nuked anybody since 1947.

Yeah. That's amazing in and of itself. Right? Was it 45? It was 45, Japan, yeah. 45. Yeah. Yeah.

So we haven't nuked anybody since 45. And no one else has either. That's what's important. That's amazing. Except for Russia nuking themselves, basically, with Chernobyl. Whoops. Yeah. And then North Korea, didn't they do that?

Didn't they experiment in the mountains? Yes, and the mountain kind of collapsed. Floated up the mountain. But I don't think anyone died, so yeah. I mean, look, knock on wood that that's all that happened. This is wood. You know, yes, it is. So, I mean, I'm very hopeful about the future of this country and the world.

How could they possibly iron things out with Iran? How could they possibly say to iran hey we're fucked up fucking i don't think he thinks he fucked up if crenshaw has if crenshaw has his back you know explaining this i think he's not going to backpedal on this trump's not a backpedaler anyway right but do you think it's possible that they could somehow or another work this out yes really yeah because if if khrushchev and JFK can work out the Cuban Missile Crisis. Right, but JFK never sent a fucking drone to shoot down Khrushchev's number two guy. Sure, but at the same time, if you're like, look, even in a sense, the sanctions and how we've kind of collapsed, from my understanding, I'm not an expert, Iran's currency is also a huge deal.

And it has caused a lot of suffering there. So they didn't do anything about that true good point at a certain point you know if you just your dick's big enough the people just have to be like the shit there's nothing do you think that's real though i just feel like this one is so public and demands a response and i don't think they're not going to respond they could respond in some way that's kind of like the safe face now how many right right how many people do you think are in the iranian regime that want change and that realize that the iranian regime and their support of certain aspects of terrorism and the support of

a lot of the stuff that they're claiming this guy did including the the ieds right this is all problematic because they brought this upon them by their acts and their deeds and that we need to change the government like that's really what a sophisticated intelligence society would want they would want to figure out how to infiltrate that thing that organization and sow seeds of doubt and let everybody know, hey, do you love your children? Because this guy just made a giant fucking mistake and it's all coming down.

I can only look at it through the lens of stuff I'm informed about, which is like North Korea and the Soviet Union. And what happens is these regimes, the people at the top aren't there because they're smart or charismatic. They're there because they're loyal. That's the first thing they test for.

And everyone's always looking after each other to kind of be like, look, this guy's gone soft and they're getting rid of each other that way. That's the power plays going on over there. So if you have someone being like, oh, maybe we shouldn't do terrorism. All of a sudden everyone's raising eyebrows and being like this, because if you're going to advocate for that, everyone's got to be on the same page because that's a big move to make. Right. So if one guy's like, guys, maybe this is evil. It's like, okay, now you're making us look evil and I don't like having this voice in the meeting.

So I think it's going to be very hard to have. But the thing is about this strike, because it was so precise, I'm sure they're scared also that he would have no problem killing them individually. That's the real fear. So it's like, oh, if I escalate this, he might be coming for me

personally next. Or the people. If there's a revolt, it could be like Gaddafi and you're being raped to death by like a broomstick. And they don't want that either. It was a bayonet. Okay. Sorry. Okay. I think it's a little rougher. That's even worse. Okay. Wow. Jesus. Remember that picture? No, I didn't want to look at it. He's standing there in shock and they're going to stab him in the asshole With a knife Oh my god Yeah

I would have said that that guy's going to be The Mount Iwo Jima guy of the future You know Remember the Mount Iwo Jima guy Putting up the flag He's going to be a guy Just ramming it right up Gaddafi's ass He's probably in a mosque somewhere

So yeah Very quickly you're going to be wondering Am I next? And then you also wonder Do I want to be a martyr? And like go out heroically Well you're making all good points but what i'm worried about is some sort of an attack on on some sort of a public place it'll like a disneyland it'll be a lot easier for them to right or disneyland or hitting israel yeah you know so they could like look we hate them blah blah blah or iraq somewhere right so who knows what i mean what they did with

the iraq war with when it was bush and tony blair they bombed the train station in spain and spain couldn't get out of the war fast enough so it could be that they're going after one of our allies to separate us you know that might be a smart move to do you go for a jazz game there's so many spots to hit you know what i mean there's no way you can really uh it's like a shell game there's only so many shells jesus christ yeah this doesn't make you nervous at all but you're a psychopath right what do you mean aren't you how am i a psychopath god there's a lot of name calling in this 2020 joe rogan's just i'm kidding But you You're not In all fairness You're nothing You're really

100% confident I'm not 100% confident at all Are you 60% confident? Yes I'm very hopeful That's it? Yes So 40% might be the end of the world

No End of the world I don't think is on the table At all? No Because I think what happens is Russia and China and Britain Sit down with us

And Iran And they're like This is how it's going to be That's what I think what happens is Russia and China and Britain sit down with us and Iran, and they're like, this is how it's going to be. That's what I think happens. Really? Yeah. I don't think we're at a point where we can escalate to a World War III situation. Do you think Trump goes to that meeting fucked up on diet pills?

Does he take, not Adderall, what does he take with the Qs I'm taking? Oh, yeah. Ephedrine? What is it? What is the cold medicine that he had?udofed yeah that's right which is pseudoephedrine yeah pseudoephedrine okay it's just it's a it's like a speed yes yeah yeah and he got the european shit which is stronger okay i i i i think it's very useful in negotiations when you come off as a lunatic because it's like I don't know what I'm dealing with

now I'm scared I wonder if he's being used in that regard as a wrecking ball why are we going to have this guy he's going to get impeached we can't support him forever let's just let this guy blow some people up and get some of our dirty work done.

Hey, we're real sorry about that. Never happen again. Yeah. Pete Buttigiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegiegieg These look ugly while he's at the Holocaust photo? No, these are extra hunky. Extra? Yeah. He's in his underwear? No, but he was looking all sexy at the camera. Fish face? And then some- He's making fish lips? Yeah. And then someone was like, is that the Holocaust memorial?

And it was the Holocaust memorial. Need to see that. Didn't he get accused of his campaign was using fake Twitter accounts- Is that true? To attack someone or something? Yeah, look at that. Look at that. That's the Holocaust memorial.

That's from his husband Who's a school teacher Is that from his husband? Yep Make that larger I don't think that's hunky I think people are being nitpicky He's standing there

It's a come hither You don't think looking over your shoulder Is a come hither pose? Not to me bro I'm a man Yeah Okay I don't think that's kind of hither

So is he and so is his husband I think he could have been in the middle Saying something like this is insane Look at all these people that died What does the caption say I love dick This guy Oh

Yeah Okay Alright Oh. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. My friend Brian Moylan, who's a gay writer. Yeah, I think now I changed my opinion. Brian Moylan wrote an article years ago that apparently it's a thing for gay dudes to do this and put their photos on Grindr. There's an article like, why are gay dudes taking pictures of the Holocaust Memorial?

What? This is a thing. You can look it up. What? Yeah. Was there a reason? What? This is a thing. You can look it up. What? Yeah. Was there a reason? He couldn't figure it out. Maybe it's something that would be in the culture.

Maybe it's a conspiracy theory. Maybe someone tricked them into doing it. Sort of like some sort of IRA thing. Internet Research Agency that does the things where they like fuck with people and get people to get behind certain causes. Maybe they trick gay guys into thinking it's really hot to take photographs. Because you know how Russia feels about gay people. They're not really thrilled about it. Yes, sir.

Yeah. So maybe they just, like, got into the community. And they do, by the way, have gay and lesbian pages and LBGTQ pages. Sure. Yeah, I mean, this IRA, this Internet Research Agency, has hundreds and thousands of different fake accounts that have massive impact. Maybe they did that. As long as they got good memes on my board. Maybe it's like the OK sign.

Oh, you're canceled. Maybe they turned the OK sign into white power sign, right? Then maybe that's what they're doing. Maybe they're convincing gay guys to give a hither-come look in front of cemeteries and the most offensive places. No, this isn't the one. The Jewish Museum closet. Photos of gay men at Berlin's Holocaust Museum. So that's a thing they do.

Look at that one guy with his feet up. Yeah. Look at the upper left. All the guys doing handstands. What the fuck, man? Yeah. How about that gay guy in the lower left-hand corner? In the tracksuit?

Sitting on the top in a tracksuit just ready to sprint over some dick yeah this is a thing this was a thing this was a thing six o'clock already all right we did it three hours wow awesomely outrageous yeah time flew it's fun here my friend um do you have anything to let anybody know about uh how to follow you just michael malice on twitter and on instagram and i'm still not verified. What? So fuck you, Instagram. How many do you have? Like 12,000, and Joey Salas tried to help me and didn't do anything. So they don't want you in. They don't want me.

You think you're a bad person? I'm a piece of shit. But you're not. And a psychopath. No, these are just jokes. Instagram, he's a nice guy. That's not true. You're not a bad guy.

I'm not a nice guy. We were doing so well. We had a great PR. I was playing bad guy. You were supposed to be good cop. I'm badder guy guy. We were doing so well. We had a great PR. I was playing bad guy. You were supposed to be good cop. I'm badder guy. You fucked up. Thank you.

Hey, this was fun, man. Thanks, bro. Appreciate it. Bye, everybody. That was fun, dude.