The Joe Rogan Experience - #1412 - Jimmy Dore

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

Jimmy Dore is a stand-up comedian, political commentator, host of “The Jimmy Dore Show” available on Spotify.

Oh, here we go. Good? Hello, Jimmy. Hi, Joe. What's going on, buddy? Good to see you. Good to see you, too. What's happening?

Well, we were just talking about the Air Force admitting that their pilots had seen UFOs, and you were telling me you interviewed one of those pilots. I interviewed Commander Fravor, and he was saying that this- Chocolate has been my favorite. Ah! Come on! It's with an R.vor fravor okay um he was i mean he was one of the guys that actually went to what what is the word they do when they scramble and go to try to figure out what the fuck something is but they they monitored this thing they saw it with their eyes they saw it with their equipment it was actively jamming the radar whatever this thing was it was shaped like a tic-tac

and it moved so fast you couldn't track it with the human eye they said it went from i think they said some some impossible number like 60 000 feet down to 200 feet in less than a second like whatever you could track you know a radar does a blip blip blip blip they don't know how fast it actually went they just know it went this insane distance in less than a second less than a radar jump like and it would it would data had observed them in that area without his knowledge like other air force pilots had observed them and and then had brought it up to the top of the food chain. But it wasn't something that got distributed to everybody until he saw it. When he saw it, he was like, what in the fuck am I looking at here? And they're like, yeah, we've been seeing these things.

And this thing with no active propulsion system that you could recognize. There was nothing around, no fire coming out of it, nothing around. And it would just disappear, just take off at an insane race to speed and actively jamming their radar. So when I covered this on my show, I said, now, I've heard reports that pilots see this stuff all the time, but they never confirmed it. And my question was, why now? Why would the Air force be confirming that

they saw ufos now because again like they've been there have been reports that pilots have seen this stuff forever i'm not saying it didn't happen i'm saying why are they admitting it happened now and then of course you see in this last uh defense budget they put in money for a space force i think the money for the space force though isn't that because china is able to that's what they say whatever they can do to make sure we want is able to... That's what they say. Whatever they can do to make sure we want to spend more money, that's what they'll do. Hey, we saw a UFO. Hey, China.

Hey, look over there. We got to spend more money. You think that's what it is? That's why they're admitting it? But Fravor, I guarantee you, isn't in that. No, no, I guarantee you saw it. He isn't involved with that. No, no. They're just now...

But before, they would say, that's not true. The Air Force would go, we don't acknowledge that. Now they're going to acknowledge it. Right. You're probably right. There's probably something to that, that it's just about budgets. I don't want to be that cynical when it comes to something like that. Really?

That's cynical? I want to think that. Come on. That's not cynical. That's two plus two. It is. You're right. But it's also cynical.

The only reason why they're telling us is because of budgets. It's both things. Yeah. Okay. It is two plus. I mean, look of budgets. It's both things. Yeah. Okay. It is two-point. I mean, look, 100% is how they do it. If they need some sort of justification for expanding their reach or expanding their budget, they come up with some threat. Well, this is this, Joe. This is what I keep telling people and no one seems to think this is a big deal. people and no one seems to think this is a big deal but uh you know the democrats and the mainstream news have spent the last three years telling everybody that trump is a manchurian

candidate he's a traitor to our country and working under the behest of vladimir putin and while they're impeaching him they're voting to give him an extra 131 billion dollars to go bomb anybody he wants and if he's bombing at the behest of vladimir putin why would you give him an extra 131 billion dollars now let me tell you how much 131 billion dollars is joe please do uh well 20 billion dollars would end homelessness and homelessness yeah is that real though that's that's the that's the figure to that in a moment but that let's just let's just say it's 20 let's just say it's 20 billion a year a year not just once but every year you'd have to spend 20 billion right okay guess what they're spending an extra 131 billion since trump took office every year going forward

on bomb 131 billion you can go everybody go to college 110 billion we'd have no homeless people yes if they took that money and put it towards it that's a lot so somebody told me the difference between a million and a billion So I read this So I don't know maybe you want to fact check Make sure I'm not full of shit again So like a million seconds Would be like 11 days But a billion seconds

Is like 33 years Something like that I'm not sure but it's close So that's 131 billion dollars Could do a lot of good things. You know, we could half our military budget and still we'd still be spending more than any other country. Now, why do you think that they would do that? Why do you think while they're impeaching him, they would also approve this incredible budget increase for military?

Because they're owned right by the military industrial complex. That's why. Because they, you know Because the defense secretaries just came right from Raytheon. The guy before Secretary of State came right from Exxon. I mean, come on. That's the beauty of Trump.

You don't have to figure it out. It's right there. They asked him the other day about his criticisms of how he's handling. He goes, they said I didn't pull out of Syria, and I did, but I left troops for the oil. They're just there to guard the oil.

And he just says it. So, which proves he's the funniest president we've ever had. Oh, for sure. Oh, no doubt. No doubt. No doubt. I thought George Bush was funny. This guy, he's intentionally and unintentionally the funniest president we've ever had.

Like the other day he was doing a signing. So in 2019 was the 100th centennial, the 100 year anniversary, the centennial anniversary of women getting the right to vote, women's suffrage. So he was signing a thing commemorating it, the 100 year, they're going to have a coin. And as he signed it, he goes, you know, I heard they've been working on getting this done for a long time. I wonder why it finally happened now. Well, because it's centennials now, dummy. You can't do it. Why didn't 100 years happen faster?

And he's sitting around going, well, we get stuff done. That's why it happened. And they're all looking at him like, okay, Mr. President. But he straight faces it. It's hilarious. Do you think he's on speed? And somebody, oh, well, so when he did that one video with the drawer with the drawer open it's actually a photo it was a photo when he was eating that

taco right that's it like i love hispanics remember that it was after he said some rude shit about mexicans jesus so he does this taco bowl thing say that trump tower is the best taco bowls i love hispanics yes and the drawer was, and you saw he had that stuff from England or whatever, right? The Sudafed. Super powerful pseudo-ephedrine, which is essentially a type of speed. Well, I like him on speed better than the other guy. I like the speedy Trump. He's entertaining.

Well, sometimes it wears off, though, and you see him slurring his words, and it gets really weird. He doesn't even try to finish words sometimes. He tried, but he can't. You can see him have a hard time with words sometimes what was the one word him and george bush both oh sovereignty they both sovereign well there's that one david packman put a video up it showed all the different times that trump has struggled to talk but there's one that's really disturbing because it's obvious he's under some sort of sedative or he's coming down from some speed and he's barely staying awake while he's talking.

It's like if you called me at 3 o'clock in the morning and I just worked 24 hours in a row, and you're like, hey, man, what are you doing? Oh, fucking Jesus. It's literally like that. But yeah, you've never seen it? No, I haven't seen it, no. See if you can find it because it's really bonkers because when you hear him talk, you've never seen it? No, I haven't seen it, no. See if you can find it. Because it's really bonkers.

Because when you hear him talk, you're like, oh my God. There was no discussion of this. It's not like he came out later and said, hey, guys, I had a bad night last night. Somebody slipped me a Mickey. It was a real issue. Well, his whole thing is he's a teetotaler, right? That's nonsense. Is it?

Yeah, the pseudoephedrine, all that stuff. But then it turns out he's doing, you know, pharmaceuticals. Yes. Yeah. He's doing what's legal. That's what it is. Yeah. You know, if you, the doctor writes him a prescription, you know, there was this whole

thing with, what was that, there was that reporter that named the Duane Reade pharmacy that he had gone to in New York to fill this prescription for a metabolic condition, which he said is like a bullshit reason. He took diet pills, and the diet pills were speed, but it was prescribed by his doctor. But look, if you're a guy who wants to fucking get shit done all the time, you want to be on speed. Speed's the way to go.

I know people who say they write songs on speed. Like, you know, musicians. Slayer? I don't know Slayer, but... That seems like the kind of music you'd write on speed. Like, rah! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Oh, okay. You know? Yeah. That's speed music. I don't know what the kids listen to. Sarah McLaughlin on speed. Can you imagine? She'd be like,

fuck those puppies. Yeah. You know, I went to one of those, what were they called? The women's Lollapalooza. What were they called? Lilith Fair? Lilith Fair. I was dating a girl.

Oh, no. And she took me. Oh, Jimmy. Oh, my God. She's just trying to drain you. Turns out I was going through a mentally imbalanced time. I didn't know. Turns out I was like, oh, that was when I was going through a nervous breakdown.

Yeah. In the arms of it. It's great music to listen to right before you go to bed. It was. No, but I do remember the um what's that hard rocking woman who's really good middle there's one that's really good chrissy chrissy hein yeah from the pretenders that's it yeah she's a beast that she was there that i'm like this is good oh yeah i was like that's really good yeah no i always loved her yeah she's awesome i was

like why don't you just have her play more yeah Yeah, what the fuck is this? I can't even remember who else was there. Anytime you have an all-woman's anything, or an all-man's anything for that matter, it's a mess. Like if you say, this is a men's conference, we're here for men's rights and men's issues and blah. That's not good.

You're going to find a bunch of bitch-ass men too. You're not going to find any real men at an all-men's getaway. Let's get together not gonna find any real men and an all men's getaway let's get together and talk about our problems and they're all they all stem from bitches yeah these girls won't fuck us it's a horrible situation yeah i don't know how i don't know how women i just feel sorry for women that i have to fuck men i do don't you we're gross no kidding no kidding and do you ever just listen the way guys talk to women trying to get laid it's like oh my god especially dumb guys

that which is most guys most guys yeah most people yeah most men and women are dumb yes the fact yeah i would i would i'm close i'm in the dumb uh yeah there's gaps in my knowledge that i can't believe oh yeah and well neither of us neither of us are gonna figure anything out right we're not we're not that guy that they're gonna call on if there's a real issue we need jimmy door no but that's but that's see that's the thing joe about my whole show is that someone as dumb as me can see through this stuff. I can put it together. Oh, we're going to admit that we have UFOs, and now we're going to have a space bar.

Okay, I can put that together. That's the whole thing. It's like if I can do this, I know they can do this. They're just not doing it. I think the UFO thing is, you know, I know you're probably right in terms of like one of the reasons why they released it, but i think there's also this when you get a bunch of like really credible people like that commander favor guy when you get actual data like radar you actually can look at the video of the infrared infrared

camera of them tracking that thing there's enough of those now that people are like well what the fuck is going on and if you guys have all this money and all this equipment is this is this something that the chinese are doing or the russians are doing or is this something that you can't explain and i think we're in this area where there's so much information people can get a hold of so many videos and so much stuff that they kind of have to start talking about it now okay i i you know i i see how they shut down conversations around the most innocuous of inquiries so that's true too they can they shame pretty hard yeah they that that's pretty that's true too but when you got a guy who's like a decorated pilot like fravor

and he's like look i don't have any other crazy stories in my past he's not a crazy guy he's pretty rock solid general all- around American hero type guy. And he's like, look, I'll tell you what I fucking saw. And it's pretty crazy. Those pilots though, they live a crazy life, don't they? Well, they have to. I mean, Sex at Dawn, right? They go faster than the speed of sound.

Oh, Sex at Dawn with the book? Yeah. Look, Chris is a good friend of mine. I think there's some of the things that Chris looks at. Like, Chris is kind of a freak. He wants things to be a little on the freaky side. Okay. But the idea about the pilots is that they all swap.

Wife swapping. Because they think they could die at any moment. They create this bond. Yes. Yeah. They want someone to love their wife as much as they do. Or maybe they want to fuck their buddy's wife and they're all doing coke. Maybe that's it.

That could be it too. Maybe they're all on fucking meth. They're all on Donald Trump's diet pills and they want to bag each other's wives. So you don't think that happened? Probably sure happens. Oh, okay. Especially during wartime. I mean, war, people shift.

War is crazy. You know, the mind shifts when you see bodies, when you've killed people, when you've made these rationalizations, and also you're very aware that someone's trying to do to you what you've done to people, and your entire existence is, from dawn till dust, is eliminate the enemy. And it's a mindset that people slide right into.

My doctor, Dr. Sharp. That fucking guy? No, I'm just kidding. Dr. Sharp. Just kidding, Dr. Sharp. So Dr. Charles Sharp, he's the greatest endocrinologist. Dr. Charles Glendale? That guy?

He's in Pasadena. Oh, okay. I almost said Pasadena. Oh, if you would have said that, I'd have freaked out. Fuck. I went with Glendale because it's funnier. Ah, I always go Glendale. I always go Glendale.

And then I go Glendale and then Torrance. Torrance is a good one, too. Torrance is good. It's like, why are you living there What are you What are you What are you into Pinto and Taurus

Anyway so What was I talking about Dr. Sharp Oh In Pasadena So he said he smoked pot When he was in Vietnam Because I told him

I smoked pot Right Just to let him know Everything that's happening With me chemically And he said that He said yeah I did it I said that, he said, yeah, I did it. I said, you ever smoke? He goes, yeah, I did it once in Vietnam.

He said they would have a helicopter circling the medical, he was a doctor, the medical. And so you could always hear it constantly searching for whatever, people coming at us. And then all of a sudden, I didn't hear it. And it had crashed, right? So I had to go help the guy. And he said, I just smoked pot. And as a doctor, you have to be able to disassociate

from what you're doing. And he said, I couldn't. And he said, so when I came up on him and I could tell this guy was going to be crippled and I couldn't, it would mess me up. He goes, so I never smoked pot again.

Wow. And I could see, could you imagine like you're new to pot? You know how it makes you sense things extra, especially when you first start. Yeah. You know how you just extra sense, and then you walk up on a scene like that, like, oh, my God. Oh. I couldn't imagine that.

So that, yeah, I probably would stop smoking pot. Yeah, I mean, that's, talk about bad trips. Bad, bad trips. That's as bad as it gets. Yeah. Walk up on someone who just crashed in a helicopter in the middle of a war, and you're high as fuck, and you realize he's crippled. So let me ask you a question.

When I would travel out of the country, I would always think that, oh, I get like a little cold flu thing every time I travel out of the country. Like I would get night sweats, and I would kind of get headaches, and I would feel a little fluey you know and then uh i got this dental implant and so i didn't so i want you know they say don't smoke whatever so i'm like gonna be extra good i didn't smoke for a whole week i felt like i felt when i go to europe so you think you have a physical addiction yes i was like no way did you i mean that's why I wanted to ask. Does that ever happen to you when you travel outside the country?

No, no. But some people do have that, apparently. Yes. Like night sweats. It's the worst. Night sweats. You wake up and as soon as I take this cover off, it's going to be freezing. Really?

Yeah. So I got to get up and change my t-shirt. I was sorting to sleep in a t-shirt and jeans. I don't know. I like to be ready. And Timberlands. I don't know. I like to be ready. And Timberlands. I want to go. Now, do you smoke before you go to bed?

Is that your move? Of course. Okay. So it helps you sleep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How about you? No.

It doesn't help you sleep? No. No. No, when I smoke pot, I'm awake. I start thinking about shit. I don't want to go to sleep. Oh, it depends what I smoke, right? So there's the thinky pot

And then there's the sleepy pot Yeah Even the sleepy pot makes me Sometimes It gives me a burst But then Like I smoke this stuff Called GMO

Whoa It is the best Genetically modified organisms Oh I wonder if that's What it stands for Yeah exactly They're trying to fuck with you They're like

This is some GMO shit son They are fucking with me It's working Look they're Genetically modifying the weed For sure I was just Stuff we get today I was just So I get this at my place son they are fucking with me well it's working look they're genetically modifying the weed for sure i was just definitely good today i was just important so i get this at my place over in eagle rock so i was in portland last week and it's legal so i just walk into a pot store and i go hey i'm

looking for a indica high thc he goes how about gmo go you're kidding and it's my fucking barrette it was great how high is it it's got like 29% THC. What was that shit that Kevin Smith dropped off? Wasn't it 42%? How do you get something 42%? He's going hard. He's an all-day guy. He's one of them all-day guys. He starts off in the morning

and just keeps going. Yeah. So that's the problem with, like, I love to take a little puff in the morning with my coffee or what have you, but the problem is you're giving up your later night buzz because i can't get buzzed more than once or twice a day that's it because of my tolerance and then if i try to smoke more i'll just get a headache do you ever get headaches no i don't get headaches from potty you don't get any of these problems i just get the the over stimulation the i mean you would call it paranoia but i kind of welcome it sometimes because i think it's good to be hyper aware of all these different

things and it makes you appreciate when you're not you know i think that that that feeling that you get when you get high when you're like oh my god like everything is fucking dangerous the world is a dangerous place and i'm'm going to die someday for sure. Everyone around me is going to die. I hope they don't die today. It's like, I'm going to be 60. And the crazy thing is, like, these feelings, for some reason, aren't there, even though you know those things to be a fact. I know.

Like, you know you're like a basically like oh we are all water balloons they're like water balloons of blood with like sticks holding us together we're so doughy and fleshy and weak and vulnerable and you know like that guy found when he found that helicopter uh had crashed and that's that's what happens to your body your body's a very vulnerable thing it's not very. Your body's a very vulnerable thing. It's not very tough. Even the toughest bodies are very vulnerable. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I watch boxing. Yeah. See them go down. Oh, yeah. Toughest guys in the world. But you know what? I always wondered what...

I've been knocked out. You've been knocked out? Yes. Oh, okay. So it's not a big... Like, when you get knocked out and you wake up, you don't know... You're like, did I just get knocked out? It doesn't really hurt. I've never been knocked out. You've been knocked out? Yes. Oh, okay. So it's not a big, like when you get knocked out and you wake up, you don't know, you're like, did I just get knocked out?

It doesn't really hurt. I've been knocked completely unconscious, but I got TKO'd in a kickboxing bout. I got dropped. Oh. And then I got hit with a bunch of other punches and the referee stopped it. Oh, okay. But that was more like my, that was a weird, that was the weirdest feeling I had ever had up to that moment was like my legs just stopped working.

Like, brr, they just shut off. Like this guy hit me with a left hook. I conscious but my legs just went whoop oh that's when they stopped that's when they go his legs aren't there you always heard them say that but like they go they literally go out they go whoo did you and you fell oh yeah oh they stopped working it's very strange and it's like your your brain gets jostled around inside your head and also when you get hit on the jaw, there's nerves behind your jaw. And when your bone of your jaw slams into those nerves and your head gets rattled and the brain, all of it together. It's like everything just goes, what's happening here?

You know, sometimes you get knocked unconscious. I didn't get knocked unconscious, but my shit just shut off. I'm always surprised when guys get knocked out, they don't piss themselves. Sometimes they do. They do a lot of times when you choke them out. Oh, really? Yeah, when you choke guys out, they piss themselves all the time.

They shit themselves, too, if they have to shit. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just lose control of their body. But before you go fight, do you try to make sure you don't have to take a shit? Yeah, sometimes guys do have to take a shit, though. I've had a guy one time, Michael Chiesa,

who's a top UFC fighter, he was, right before he was fighting, he looked over at me, like, as he got into the cage, he goes, dude, I'm going to shit myself. He goes, I guarantee you I'm going to shit myself while this fight's going on. I'm like, fuck! Why wouldn't he just go to the bathroom? Couldn't. It was the way it worked out.

Like, you know, they're calling, okay, you're up. You feel feel it's coming But you can't go right now Yeah he's like oh no And then he just makes The rock up there And then all of a sudden Diarrhea He's like oh my god He wound up winning the fight But did he shit

No he didn't shit himself Oh I talked him out He's like I swore I was gonna shit myself I talked him out of it He's a funny dude No I didn't talk about it

I don't think I said it I talked about it I don't think I said But I talked to him I talked about it with him After the fight He's like no I didn't shit myself That would be funny And we were laughing about it If you could talk think I said it, but I talked to him. I talked about it with him after the fight. He's like, no, I didn't shit myself. That would be funny.

And we were laughing about it. If you could talk about it. It's like, I'm going to have diarrhea. Let me talk to you for a second. If you heard this story. Well, if you do, you know, if you have diarrhea, it's like, it's one of those things, man. I've been on this carnivore diet. Do you know what that is?

No. I'm eating only meat for the entire month of January just to to see what it's like no vegetables none zero i had an olive and i had one piece of chili mango i actually had two pieces of chili mango but uh and so is this good for you that's where it gets weird it's a really good question i don't know um i don't even know how i feel about it so what where did you get the idea to do it everybody's doing it oh really all the kids all the crazy so i did the atkins thing i did that like back in 2001 or something when i needed to lose whatever i did that and that that worked like it does work it's very similar it's very similar in that you know you're just you're

eliminating carbs yeah you get your body to go into ketosis. You're getting your body to burn fat. Ketosis. That's what. The thing about the carnivore diet, though, is I actually checked my piss with a ketone strip. And it showed that I'm not in ketosis. So you pee on this strip. How could you not be in ketosis?

I don't know. I think it's because I'm eating so much meat that when you have too much protein, there's something called glucogenesis, I think it's because I'm eating so much meat that when you have too much protein, there's something called glucogenesis, I think it's called, where your body breaks the protein down and turns it into glucose. And so that fucks with your ketone levels, and that keeps you from going into ketosis. But it doesn't affect your energy level. My energy levels have been amazing. Like all day long, I'm flat i'm sound like

people always ask me why do you always have like that cough it's this goddamn coffee it's layered superfood coffee it coats your throat it's delicious it is delicious i love it when you said hey do you do you like tuberic and you want it in your coffee i'm like cut the what the fuck in my head i was thinking these goddamn Kids today with the hair and the clothes. The new math. And the fucking turmeric and the coffee. Turmeric and the goddamn coffee. Come on. How good is it?

It is amazing. It's amazing. But I drink too much of it. And I'm always like a little phlegmy because it's like in my throat. I'm not a big on American coffee, but this is fantastic. American coffee? How much of it is grown in America? Is there any coffee grown in America?

All I know is that when I go to Italy or if I go to Hawaii and I have coffee, it's always better. Oh, Kona has the best coffee on earth. My favorite coffee comes from Kona. Yeah. There's something about Hawaiian coffee. It's the volcanic soil. Is that what it is? Yeah.

And that same thing in Italy. There's volcanic soil, which is why their tomatoes taste better and their coffee tastes better. And everything tastes better. It's the volcanic soil. I'm pretty sure. I wonder what it does to pussy. Jesus Christ. Any questions?

I'm going to say it makes them juicier. It makes everything better. Right? Just like a piece of fruit or a tomato is juicier. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

It's so funny you say that because out of nowhere I started talking about, on stage last night, how I hate the word vagina, but I like pussy. The vagina word is a weird word, right? Because who's saying that other than a doctor? Right? No, you're never in the middle of sex and a woman goes, take it in my vagina. If she did, you'd go, wait, are you sure? Oh. What are you doing?

Are you experimenting with me? Are you experimenting? I don't think a woman wants to hear that. I mean, maybe they have like cute little names for it, nicknames. I had a joke where I would say, I would go, I get it. We were experimenting the other night, my wife, and right in the middle of sex,

I took it out and I stuck it in her vagina. Wow. Totally different. F fits like a glove why are shock jokes fun they're fun they're fun shock jokes are fun they're always been fun for me i don't like when people say they're cheap like no they're not cheap they're different it's a different thing you know There's really clever Intellectual jokes And those are great too Right But I love A good fucked up joke

Yeah Especially because you think It's going to be something clever Yeah And that it's just No Bam Smash

Right in the face Right in the face Yeah That's funny to me It is funny Yeah I'm a fan of all kinds of jokes I like all kinds of comedy

And there's a while Where like dirty comedy Was like was, like, looked down upon as if it was easier. Well, it was Andrew Dice Clay. So when Andrew Dice Clay happened, so a lot of people started to ape him, right, because he was very popular. This is going back in the early 90s. Yeah. I don't know if you were born yet. What? And so comedy clubs started expanding, and they had more clubs and there were good comics.

So then they started to give free tickets away. And so they started to book. They wanted more generic acts that appealed to people who weren't necessarily comedy fans or whatever. So this is my theory about what happened. And so then they would keep it clean because we don't want to offend anybody. It's like that's not what fucking that's not what people are. And that's why they all closed. You know what my opinion

on that is? I think bad comedy sucks, but bad dirty comedy makes you angry. Yeah. That's what it is. Well, you know what's funny is I've noticed this.

If people watch a musician go up and play, like even an open mic or whatever, and he plays a song or two and you don't like him, you'll still applaud after he's done. But if a comic goes up and he's not funny,

it's like, what the fuck does this guy think he's doing? People get angry. Yes, they get angry because you have to listen to the whole thing. You can't even talk during it. It's awful. Yeah, so I always notice that. You could suck as a musician, people will still applaud. You suck as a comedian.

You know why? That's not funny! I always noticed that You could suck as a musician People will still applaud You suck as a comedian Like this fucking You know why Also because That's not funny If I go to see a musician I at least appreciate the fact This person can play A musical instrument

Which I can't do I have no musical talent at all But I know how to talk I can talk Everybody can talk And everybody Pretty much Everybody has said

At least one thing funny At one point in time So you know what it's like Right To say something And then it gets a laugh. You know you can do it. What they've done is just do it more and really put a lot of time into it and craft an act. But when that act's terrible, you start thinking, I could fucking do that.

Why am I listening to this idiot? Well, it was bad comics that made me think I could do comedy. Oh, for sure. Open mic night, right? Oh, no. I was watching it on TV. Oh, interesting. So I remember when I was in college, we got comedy, like a cable in our dorm room, right?

And so I remember I was watching the show. I forget. Maybe it was that one on A&E. It doesn't matter. You mean the improv? No, it was that Rosie O'Donnell one. Oh, yeah. Remember she hosted that one?

And then Bobby Collins. I forgot about that. Yeah. Fridays or something like that? I forget what it was called, but Stand Up Spotlight, maybe. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, that was VH1, I think.

Oh, VH1 was Stand Up Spotlight. Yeah. So anyway, whatever. So I'm watching, and I see this comic go up, and he does like two jokes. I beat him to the punchline on both of them, right? I'm like, he said what I thought he was going was gonna say and then the third one wasn't even funny he had inverted the punchline which i didn't know that's what he did but i go he should have put that thing at the end and then afterwards i go wait a minute that guy i'm funnier than that guy and he's on tv i think i could do this yeah right

like when i would go to clubs i would go to zany's in Chicago, and those guys would just be hilarious. And I'm like, I could be funny for five minutes at a party, but I can't fucking do that. But I didn't realize they were how it went. You do an act, and you work, and you do the whole thing. And so that's why I was like, I can't do that. Those guys are special funny. And then I saw guys on TV suck. I'm like, well, I could do that.

I might not be able to go to Zadie's but I could go to T. Well there was a time during the 80's where there was so many spots and so few comics that some really mediocre comics got on television. Yeah. Really like mundane nonsense bits.

Yes. And they all had that kind of comedy timing. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well you're from Chicago too which is a rough spot. Like it's fucking cold there. People don't take any bullshit.

It's a different kind of thing. You know, like, those are the kind of places that make great comics. Like, fucking cold. Like, Boston. Same shit. New York. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That cold.

Need a little misery and a little edge. And Hong Kong. Fuck you. You need a... Yes. There has to be a need for comedy. Yes. Like I was saying, it was just in Hawaii we did shows there.

I'm like, man, these people are laid back. Yeah. There's not a lot of great comics. There's a few good comics that come from Hawaii, but not a lot. Yeah. Not a lot. It's hard to be upset. They have a lot of local humor.

Like the comics from Hawaii, I've seen some comics from Hawaii, and they talk about local stuff. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Just like a cruise ship. Yeah, sort of. Yeah, kind of like that.

Yeah, like the guys who live there, they do their whole act as local. Yeah. And a lot of times they're like a morning DJ guy, too, or something like that. Think about it. That's a pretty great life. Pretty fucking great place to live. Fucking great life. You're a comic and a DJ in Hawaii?

Jesus, hey, you beat it. You did it. You really a comic and a DJ in Hawaii. Jesus, you beat it. You did it. You really did. First time I went to Hawaii, I was in Maui. I was working at some stand-up gig, booked through the Ice House. And I get off stage and this guy comes up and we're talking. And I said, where are you from? He goes, I'm from Pittsburgh.

I go, really? What did you do there? He goes, I was a plumber. I go, what do you do here now? I go, he goes, I'm a plumber. I go, how do you make it from a plumber in Pittsburgh to Maui? He goes, well, one day I woke up and I realized I could be a plumber in Hawaii or I could be a plumber in Pittsburgh.

It makes all the sense of the world. It makes all the sense of the world. Yeah. If I was a plumber, I'd move there. Yeah. I know a guy who teaches jujitsu there who used to teach in, he actually gave me my first lesson ever in los angeles and he after a while he was like fuck this what am i doing and i can teach in maui

you know and the thing about like a place like maui there's enough people like you need everything like it's not like like lanai we were talking about earlier that's a weird spot because there's only 3 000 people on the whole island It's like a good theater show. Yeah. Like, you take a good theater show and those people empty out and that's the whole civilization. Mm-hmm.

And then there's people that fly in because it's a resort area. But it's... I was in Kauai one time, too, and it's similar. Like, after I got off stage, I was like, hey, where can I go

to get something to eat? They're like, there's no place to go. You gotta go in the ocean and catch it. That's where Laird lives. Who does? Laird. Laird Hamilton.

He lives in Kauai. I don't know Laird Hamilton. That's the fucking coffee you're drinking, bro. Oh, this guy. We talked about him for about a half hour earlier. I'm bad with names. Does that work? Is that a good enough excuse?

I'm bad with names. Laird Hamilton is married to gabriella reese oh that's a giant aquaman motherfucker great coffee yeah he makes killer coffee who thought to put turmeric kawaii is uh a spot that i need to get to i've never been to that one i've never been to that island i've only been to honolulu very briefly during a layover you know when i was actually the first time i was going on lanai, we flew in Honolulu first, and then you have to take like a puddle jumper to get to Lanai. Oh, yeah.

But Lanai is like, there's nobody there, man. And you go on the beach, there's like fucking eight other families on the beach, and everybody's just like, ah. Everybody's just chill. I never sleep better. Oh my God. I never, I mean, when I was- Relaxing. When I was in Hawaii, I would go to bed at midnight and wake up at 8 in the morning.

I'd sleep straight through. You'd feel great. This never happened. And you'd feel great. Ever. Yeah. I come back to LA, I'm immediately getting headaches. Immediately.

I'm like, God damn it. So I go get a drink, and I order a Mai Tai. Believe it or not, Maui and Hawaii in general, I think they have some wonky weed laws. I don't think weed's legal there. No, no, it's not. It's as medical as I think. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Medical. Life is my condition. I know. And what do I need it for? Life! Yeah, but I have fans there, so they just give me some. Uh-huh. Do you still ever take pot from fans?

No. Are you afraid? Yes. Yeah, me too. Yes. Just, you're asking for it. You are, right? Yeah. Oh, I thought I'd give you a little extra taste. I put some acid on there you're asking for it. You are, right? Yeah.

Oh, I thought I'd give you a little extra taste. I put some acid on there for you. I don't need that, right? My good friend Ari Shaffir dosed Burt Kreischer when they were doing a podcast together. So that's real? That's real. I thought that was a joke. No.

He gave him Molly. Dropped it in his drink. So, was there hard feelings over that? Oh yeah. There was a real problem. I thought that was all a joke. No. There's no jokes with us. We don't do jokes. I mean I just saw it on Twitter. Yeah that's real. All that shit's real.

No. Yeah. So they're not pals? Oh they're back. Oh okay. The wife hates him still though. Bert's wife is still very upset. I would have a hard time with that. It's a real issue. Doing something like that, that's not right.

He knows. He knows it's not right. What's really interesting is we were all joking around about it. This is the only business where you can dose your friend. We all joke around about it. Laugh about it more. Nothing happens.

And he actually got a bump in his career. Like, he started selling out places faster. And when he was going places, Ari would be doing shows, and people would yell out, Dose me, Ari! Dose me! So now he's known for dosing people. And before that, Ari used to do something, I should say allegedly, because this thing, which may or may not have happened,

is very illegal, but he would do in places where weed was very illegal, he would play a game called Find the Edible. So he'd post it on Twitter, he'd give people hints, and he would leave some fucking nuclear edible, like to some

North Dakota guy who's gonna find it, who probably doesn't get any real weed and he's gonna get one of those stars of death and uh he got in trouble i think in minnesota oh really allegedly because i don't think they ever found any of the things he was talking about so maybe it was all just a prank let's go with that those, man. My brother had something one time. He goes, Jimmy, be careful. It's called the creeper. That's what they call it. I have a high tolerance. Don't worry.

I ate one. I'm like, nothing. I did it. I ate another one. About 45 minutes later, we're at a campground talking to my parents and all of a sudden I can't remember how to breathe. I'm like, how do I,

and I, how do I, and I'm so scared. And I just go, I have to go make a phone call. I'm at a campground. I gotta make a phone call. So I just go to my car and I'm just laying down.

And the next thing I know, I hear my wife behind me go, are you okay? I go, I'm not good. I'm not good. We have to go. She goes, let's go say goodbye to your parents. I can't say goodbye. Let's just go. Start driving.

Oh, no. You just couldn't deal with saying goodbye. Oh, my God. So, yeah. Turns out there is some danger to that drug. Oh, well, there's danger with schizophrenia. There's a real danger with people having schizophrenic breaks when they take high doses of edibles. Really?

And even smoking it. Yeah. Well, like you were talking about, you get the withdrawals. Yeah. I don't get the withdrawals, but there's a small percentage of people that do. There's a small percentage. Yeah. So that must be like, so people are like, oh, aren't you going to quit?

No. Just stay high. If I dropped drinking coffee when I went overseas, I would get headaches too, right? So there's a lot of things like that. Yeah. Coffee is one thing that's addictive that we all just admit. It's just. And we just accept it. Yeah.

And we're addicted to it. Because it doesn't really change your state that much where you're like freaking out. Like you never drink a cup of coffee. You're like, man, I can't get up. You're never on the ground tweaking. But I know a couple people who have had legitimate schizophrenic breaks. No kidding. Yeah.

You know a couple? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, legitimate ones. Legitimate ones. Legitimate ones where like something happened and then they were never the same again what is schizophrenia literally yeah well i've heard about that with acid but i never heard about that with well it's not that much difference when you

take a high level dose it can get psychedelic of edibles yeah yeah i've had that it's a different where you feel like you're trippingpping a little and you're experiencing the... God save me from the comments, but people get mad at me when I talk about this. But there's a thing that happens when you... Because I've talked about it so many times and I know I'm a repetitive fuck. But when you eat marijuana, your body produces something called 11-hydroxy metabolite. It's four to five times more psychoactive than THC. So as it's processed by the

liver you get something that's not psychoactive in the smoked form so when you smoke it you get thc when you eat it you get 11 hydroxy metabolite it's much much stronger much stronger than thc and it's a totally different sensation you know like people talk about the body high like yeah you're like oh you feel it everywhere yeah you really tweak out too but small doses of that are wonderful like a little like they have these uh jumbo has these sprays i don't have one with me here i used to have one on the desk but um it's a thc spray just a couple of pumps really yeah it's like a breath spray a couple of pumps and it's like god you feel great you feel really yeah You feel wonderful.

Yeah, but if you take 12 pumps, I took 12 pumps once. I did a podcast with Sam Harris. In the middle of, I took the pumps like 20 minutes before he got here, and then in the middle of the podcast, I'm like, holy shit. I don't know if I can. Thank God Sam is like a super articulate guy, so I could just kind of like throw a question his way and he would just expand while he's expanding and talking.

I was pretending to listen, but really just trying to keep it together, trying to keep it together and, and, and make sure that I try to sober myself up. I was like trying to force myself into a state of sobriety. I have a, it was about a thousand milligrams.

Yeah. I have a hard enough time Paying attention to conversations When I'm not Yeah When I'm just completely sober I'll lose my train of thought Me too

And I'm like What are the Or I'll be Especially if I'm bored Right Yeah Not even that Even if I'm super interested

I'm interviewing someone And all of a sudden I'm like Oh fuck I'm not listening I'm thinking about that thing And then They stop talking And I'm like Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha thinking about that thing. And then they stop talking, and I'm like, ha! Oh, you can't do that.

That's the cardinal sin. That's one thing I don't think I do. At least I don't, I can't remember. I try to really lock in. Me too, but then I just, my mind will just get, oh. So I was interviewing Tulsi, and so we came to this important part of the conversation. It was about how she had switched or something about some policy she had. So I asked her about it, and I know people are waiting.

And there was a documentarian guy in there with her, and his phone went off at that moment. I asked the question, but it didn't go off like a ring. It went off like a scene from a movie. So now I'm like, what is that? Who's talking? from a movie. So now I'm like, what is that? Who's talking? And then all of a sudden I'm like, what is going on? And then after I realized that it's this guy's phone and it's a scene from a movie.

But Tulsi's been talking this whole time. Oh, no. So then I come back and then she stops. And I'm like, I don't know what the fuck she just said. Well, that's why you don't want someone else in the room while you're having conversations. No, no doubt. One time I was talking to a guy, and his girlfriend was sitting right there, and she just kept

spinning in her chair and playing with her phone, spinning in her chair and playing with her phone. And I'm trying to pay attention to him, but I'm just seeing this girl spinning in her chair and playing with her phone. And then afterwards, I was like, no more. No more people in here. Because sometimes people try to come in here, and then you'll see them hold a camera up to take a picture while the podcast is over.

I'm like, hey, you're fucking this thing up, man. This is a distraction. Yeah. I don't do live ones. You do live ones. Live what? Live podcasts. Yeah.

That's a different thing, though, because you know you're going to be live. Yeah. This isn't? I mean live in front of a group of humans. Oh, you mean with an audience. Yeah, but this isn't live either. Oh, so that's not live. We stopped doing them live, too.

It's not live. This isn't live? No. There's a reason for that. Oh, that's good. Oh. Why? Want to edit something out?

No, because often, the other day on my show, so like when we were in the green room, me, Graham, and Ron Placoma were going to do a show, so we'll say things funny to each other that you can't say in public. Like South Park. Right, right. And so we were saying it, and it's funny to us. And then I was on the show with Ron, and we were talking about it. I go, remember when, and I almost said it. And I was like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. So you know that. You know. Yeah, I do know. How come South Park gets away with that? They're the best. Because first of all, it's cartoons. They don't even look remotely human.

And they've been around for so long, they're grandfathered in. They go fucking hard. They're so important. You see the one with the Harley Davidson motorcycle riders where they called them all... I don't even know if I can say it. They could say it. Do you know what I'm talking about? They called them all the F word?

The N's and the T? Yes. Yes. Yes. and many more things like that good it was they still play it on the on tv like yes how come they can play it on tv i can't say it well do you remember a time there was a time where they used to show those old roadrunner cartoons yes where they were hyper violent yeah they were blowing things up and hitting each other in the head with frying pans and shooting each other in the face. And it was okay. Pushing them off a mountain.

Because it was old. And so the new cartoons were all sanitized and nerfed up, but the old ones were still on. But you would watch the old ones go, oh, yeah, yeah, this is what it used to be like. Well, I watched some old Popeye the other day, and Bluto is basically a fucking rapist. Yes, thank you. Yes. A straight up rapist, just grabbing olive oil.

Yeah. Like big fat face with his crazy beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, ah! She's trying to fight him off, and Popeye's like, hey, let go of me, Goyle. Yeah. And he has to punch her! She's trying to fight him off. And Popeye's like, hey, let go of me, Goyle. And he has to punch her or punch him. He fights with Bluto.

Bluto was a rapist. He dragged her away. That's what that was. It's a fucking, it's like 100 years ago, right? It's basically 100 years ago. Popeye was like 1930. It's like almost 100 years ago. And humans were just living different back then.

I think rape was probably really prevalent, so prevalent that you could joke around about it in a fucking cartoon. Yeah, and so you don't go live now because? Well, a bunch of channels started creating their own channels with my clips, and so this is what can happen. So if you have a channel and then someone says, hey, I'm going to take all your clips I'm going to take the interesting parts of your podcast

I'm going to make my own channel And then they can get like hundreds of thousands of subscribers With all of your content And then they can have whatever they want So then they can use it as a white power Fucking YouTube channel They have 500,000 subscribers They can use it as a men's rights channel.

They can use it as, you know, they could just switch it over and say it's not about Jimmy Dore anymore. Now it's about Bill Burr. And they just use your content, which is not legal. And I was like, when they were doing it while we were doing the show. So while we were doing the show, they were making clips and then uploading them as we were live. While you're still going.

Yeah. So they're doing it in real time. So. Okay. I got it. Wow. So we realized that those can be taken down, and then we started doing it ourselves, and then we realized the only way to really stop them from doing it in real time is to do it,

like film it, have the podcast filmed, and then have the clips cut up and then release it. Okay. Oh, okay. then release it. Okay. Oh, okay. That's one. Okay. That's a big one. The other one was copyright.

There's a real problem with copyright strikes. If you get three strikes, they fucking pull your channel. So do you ever get one? We've gotten them. We've gotten them before. For shit that we show. We've gotten them before for shit that we show in the corner of the screen. The corner of the screen, like a photograph or a video or a little tiny thing in the corner of a screen we had one where we got one from a

fucking a guy took a film uh from his uh like it was like a cell phone of a satellite being launched like the and we were watching it like watch the video we got a copyright strike from that like just watching something that was on the internet you can't do it you can't people own these things the big one is nature videos those fucking nature videos when you're seeing like a pack of hyenas try to take out a lion if you play that that's a copyright strike they will get you for that so i had a copyright strike recently a first one only one we've ever had right that's a strike not like hey we're going to demonetize totally different i get that all the time yeah that's all the time but a strike is serious because they can take your channel down if you get two more of them so and when they do that

they have to put they put a stamp you know time stamp of what is the copy written audio right and someone had put a copyright strike on it at the end of every one of my videos it goes do do do do do and it's just from itunes right it's not it's non-royalty thing it's just it's like a it's a chime it's not even music right so it's from garage band or something yes from garage band right yeah and so that's royalty free and so somebody put a copyright strike on that and i'm like that's just someone messing with me that's just so a hater. And some guy from Canada who's now living in Thailand, I had a guy track him down. And he's like, yeah, he has no obvious source of revenue. Unless he's trolling you.

So he's saying, the guy who investigated said he thinks it's intelligence. And so the reason why he took that claim on that was to show that he could take down every one of my videos Because that chimes in every one of my videos So for a while So until that copyright strike got cleared up I don't have a liaison It took a while So we took that chime out

Of all our videos Jesus Christ Yeah Yeah so that's So I don't Yeah YouTube is weird But they're dealing with managing an insane amount of content. Yeah, I don't know.

Insane amount. And they always err on the side of the copyright holder, and I get why they do that. They do it automatically. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, we've gotten copyright hits for a screenshot, you know, when you see the video, and there's like two heads, and there's a small photograph in the screenshot. Mm-hmm.

When you see the video and there's like two heads and there's a small photograph, a screenshot. The screenshot was a photo that someone had took and they were claiming copyright on that photo that was just on the internet. Just because we had it in our screen. We had to change the photo. Really? Yeah, dude. It's fucking. I know.

And it's weird because like some people, like you have a podcast that's just audio, right? So yeah, I have an audio and video And video Some people don't Some people only have the video And then that video goes away The You count on that YouTube monetization

Like there's a lot of people That did that They counted on that YouTube money And then YouTube Demonetizes things Just Randomly

Like it doesn't make any Like I've had a bunch of podcasts With Tom Papa That were Demonetized I'm like that is the Fucking Craziest thing

Yeah he is the like The nicest Right He's not gonna offend Yeah he's not offensive He's hilarious He's a sweetheart Yeah

Like Tom Papa Like how many did they Demonetize a Tom Papa It was like two or three right To the point where Papa Got like really paranoid And he was thinking Do you think someone

On YouTube doesn't like me There's something going on. So he wanted to contact some people at YouTube and he went down this journey. I remember he was hosting a pilot on, I don't know, like TBS or something. And I got called in to like, do like a run through of it or whatever.

And I remember I walked up to him and I go, hey, Tom, how do you get your own TV show? I really want to get one. And he goes, here's what you do. You have to overextend yourself. Why a house you can't afford. So you get desperate. That's a good move.

Good advice. Yeah, and you got it. You got to make this happen. Could you imagine going back to regular TV now, though, with all the freedom that you have? No, I can't. No, I can't. I can't even imagine going to the radio. now, though, with all the freedom that you have? No. I can't. No. I can't even imagine going to the radio. Right.

I just got in trouble. I just got in trouble, right? So I have a show. It's on KPFK. They're all nice people. But you can't. Because they're a nonprofit, there's certain things you can't do. Like you can't over-endorse.

Like I had a candidate on. And you're not supposed to endorse. And you can't go, hey, go to their website and donate. You can't say any of that stuff. So, yeah, it's just that. I'm like, oh, my God. So how'd you get in trouble? What'd you do? So I did that.

With who? So that guy, Cenk Uygur. Oh. He's running for that 25th. Right. Dude, what the New York Times did to him was dirty. That was dirty. I shouldn't say the New York Times.

I should say that writer. Whoever that writer is. It was the whole, but there was the LA Times. It was an unbelievable smirk. But the New York Times one was the one where they tried to say that his conversation with David Duke, where he was like, oh, of course you're not racist. It was as clear as day that he was joking. As clear as day that he was being sarcastic.

Talking to David fucking Duke. The grand wizard of the KKK. And he's like, oh, you're not racist. it's clear as day that he was being sarcastic and so talking to david fucking duke yeah the grand wizard of the kkk and he's like oh you're not racist of course you're not racist and then they take that and put it in quotes he said to david duke of course you're not racist that's right so that's that's like mr smith goes to washington shit dirty but i i couldn't believe that was the new york times that hurt that one hurt. Because I was like, who the... You think it's funny? Yes. I'm like, I can't even...

The New York Times is horrible. Oh, don't say that. They are horrible. That's all I've got left. Do you don't... No, no. That's all I've got left. You've got me, Joe.

I've got you. You've got me. You've got Kyle Kalinsky. Oh, I do. I do have Kyle. Right? I love Kyle. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw you. I saw your interview with Kyle. I love Kyle. I heard the shit you said. We were talking yesterday. I heard the shit you said. I said good things about you. Always. Oh, did you? I didn't get that far in. Always. I love Kyle. I heard the shit you said. We were talking yesterday. I heard the shit you said. I said good things about you.

Always. Oh, did you? I didn't get that far in. Always. I love you. I quit after you told him he was your favorite news show. Oh, you're my number two.

Oh, thanks. Is that better? I'll take it. I think he's the most reasonable of all the political commentators, but you're a comedian and a political commentator. Right.

I think you have a dual purpose. So I have a special category. Yeah, well, you're funnier than him for sure. Oh, that's sweet. That's all I care about. He texted me yesterday. New York have a special category. Yeah, well, you're funnier than him for sure. Oh, that's sweet. That's all I care about. He texted me yesterday. New York City was 68 degrees.

Yes. He was like, what in the fuck is going on? But then he's like, I feel bad because I feel so happy. Because, like, seasonal depression. You know when it's sunny out and 68 degrees? He's like, yeah, everything's great. Meanwhile, the world's on fire. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, whatever. It's warm. It is warm. Yeah. No, Oh, whatever. It's warm. It is warm. Yeah. No, he's great. That's the beautiful thing about having corrupt and dishonest media is that it opens a door for honest media like you and independent guys like yourself, like Pac-Man, Kalinsky.

It's easy. There's quite a few. It's easy to outdo them. And MSNBC or CNN or- It really hurts hearing the freight from a guy I respect. The New York Times is horrible. That's always been what I trusted. Me too.

I know. It was tough. It was tough when I realized that mainstream news media is just the mouthpiece for the establishment when it really matters. They're for every war. They're for every war. They're repeaters. How do we get into Iraq? They got Judith Miller to uncritically

put whatever Dick Cheney told her on the front page. That's why they have aluminum tubes. Front page of the New York Times, and then Dick Cheney tells Judith Miller they have aluminum tubes. She prints it on the front page of the New York Times. Dick Cheney then goes on Meet the Press and says, look, even the New York Times is reporting this.

Oh, God. That's how they do it. And then Judith Miller, she gets an on-air job on Fox News after that. She got rewarded. There's that, and then there's probably also access to candidates, access to top officials. Access journalism. If you don't give them what they want, they don't give you access, and this is sort of the game that they've always played.

Right. That's exactly right. That they have access,, I've experienced it. But what do you think, why do you think they want to smear Cenk? I mean, like. Because they see him as an enemy of the Democratic Party because he wants to get money out of politics. Right. So that's his big thing.

He has Wolfpack. And his whole thing is I don't take corporate money. And the Justice Democrats, they don't take corporate. So that's his whole thing. Right. It's about getting money out of politics. and they want to keep money in politics. Because if you get money out of politics, their whole grift is over. Right.

Right. The Neera Tanden's, the Debbie Washington. Nancy Pelosi is not worth $100 million anymore. That's right. How does she get $100 million? How do you go from zero to $100 million as you're in Congress? Well, you're a criminal. That's what Truman said. Yeah.

There's the only kind of people who get rich while in government a criminal. That's what Truman said. Yeah. There's the only kind of people who get rich while in government are criminals. That's what Truman said. But there's, like, isn't it some, like, there's forms of insider trading that are legal if you're in Congress that wouldn't be legal if you were a regular citizen? I don't, I know that they don't have

the rules that they should. Right. I know that. There's rules that, I shouldn't say a regular citizen, but if you were, like, working for a corporation, there's rules that i shouldn't say a regular citizen but if you were like working for a corporation there's rules like they're allowed to get information and influence in terms of like how they invest oh right that's not right right that's that's extra information that i could get exactly yeah that's right extra and then they're allowed to get that information and then they're allowed to use it for their own personal profit like somehow or another that's not been stomped out yeah and that was someone there was a video and i don't know if it's accurate where someone was explaining how nancy pelosi made all that money and i was

like if i watch this fucking thing i'm gonna stay up all night it was one of those like i can't watch any more of this yeah well i do we have a hundred millionaire is the leader of the people's party isn't that amazing not only that like what did, what did you do? Did you sell hats? Like, where'd you make that money? What do you do? Do you make cars? So, why do you think Nancy Pelosi impeached Trump but didn't impeach George Bush? I don't know. I'll tell you. Tell me.

As Julian Assange revealed through WikiLeaks, it was because Nancy Pelosi was told in 2002 that our government was torturing people. And she was a person in a position of power. And the reason why the Republicans and George Bush administration did that was so now they've got Democrats complicit in their crimes. And so she didn't tell anybody about it.

She didn't launch an investigation. She didn't blow the whistle on this. So now she's complicit. So when George Bush went to when the Republicans lose the House and she becomes leader and they go, you're going're going to impeach him she goes impeachment's off the table and nobody can figure it out but nobody pushed her on it because we were just so glad we had a check on George Bush at that time well Julian Assange then reveals there's the memo that shows

that she was briefed in 2002 on their torture program which makes her complicit in torture because she didn't do a god damn thing about it did you see the interview that I did with Edward Snowden? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw the first half. It was very interesting.

Yeah, he danced. Nancy Pelosi came up. Oh, yeah? It came up that she was one of the people that cleared, that made it so that these cell phone companies have access to your data and can spy on you and use it the government can use cell phones and all sorts of telecommunications and essentially video your your uh voicemail emails all that shit all that all that shit can can get spied through and there was it was very

complicated like i don't i don't remember the exact thing that the the i don't remember the exact scam like but pelosi was involved in that there you go i mean they're all corrupt that's the whole that's that that's kind of like the mission of my show is to remind people how we got trump people want to pretend that uh uh corruption and lying started in january 2017 the afghan Afghanistan papers just came out, Joe, that revealed that three administrations in a row lied completely, 100% about Afghanistan from the day they took over to the day they left. Stuff like Donald Rumsfeld saying,

we don't even know who the bad guys are. We have no idea who they are. Well, why are we there? Well, maybe because of the couple trillion dollars in rare earth minerals. I don't know. Do you really think that? Maybe it's...

We would go to war for minerals? Come on. That's crazy. We would try to steal somebody's natural resources. Do we use upset at what a small story it was? I'm upset. That those papers came out and then no one really even talked about it. And barely got nothing.

Nothing. It justifies everything Tulsi Gabbard has been saying. These wars are a lie and bullshit and we got to get out of them. And that she's not the one lying about them. The one that's been lying about them has been our government, including Barack Obama. That's what the Afghanistan papers prove, that we've been lied to forever. Tell people what the papers say. So what happened was they did a study, just like the Pentagon Papers, right? They do their own

study that reveals that they're lying. So they interviewed 400 people that were like in the military, generals and the military and contractors and all these kind of people to find out so they could know what would happen in Afghanistan. So they revealed all this. The people who they were interviewing revealed

all this that at the beginning of the war, they didn't know who the bad, they still don't know who's the bad guys, who we're killing who they were interviewing revealed all this that at the beginning of the war they didn't know who the bad they still don't know who's the bad guys who were killing they were lying about they would lie that it's going well and then their personal writings would be revealing that they didn't know what the hell they were doing and so it was it's worse than you think but we can still just keep sending four billion dollars a month there just keep sending it just keep sending it for what no one knows we're not leaving trump didn't take us out it's gonna it's he's up for re-election in a couple more months we're still in afghanistan he didn't do what he said he was gonna do nobody does that's the problem and that's why we got trump in the first place because barack obama comes in as an anti-war guy

immediately gets rolled by the military industrial complex just like trump did i believe that i i did believe that trump i did believe that trump his druthers would get the hell out of the middle east right but he doesn't really have any druthers he's like okay i'm done doing that because they've rolled me hard enough three years of russia gate i'm gonna do what they want well you saw the conversation that he had with one reporter we talked about the military industrial complex and about how they want to go to war yes i mean trump like actively while in office this and this is like an Eisenhower thing, like as he's leaving, while in office, is talking about the military, and it barely got mentioned.

I know. And so I think that's why the establishment wants to get rid of Trump. Even though he does their bidding, gives them their trillion dollar tax cuts, nobody asks how we're going to pay for it. He gives them, he tries to go into Venezuela. He tried to do what, you know, he's doing Iran. He didn't come out. We didn't get out of Syria. We're not out of Afghanistan. He's sending more people back to Iraq. It's amazing what's happened. The exact opposite of what he ran on is happening. So why do I think this happens? It's because

just what Eisenhower said as he left. He says the undue influence of the military-industrial complex. And Joe, imagine, they just invented $131 billion more worth of work for Raytheon and Boeing and Halliburton. How much money does the recording music business make a year? $80 billion? I mean, how much does it? We've just invented a whole other economy. Just since Trump got elected, 131 extra billion.

I mean, just think what you could do with that. You could build 131 Yankee stadiums every year. Non-cynically, do you think that a lot of this impeachment stuff and a lot of the scandal stuff is really a distraction for a lot of these things they're pushing through? Yes, it's 100% distraction. And just like I told you, because if they really believe that he was doing all these things and he was, why would they keep giving him extra money to go bomb people at his own behest? They don't try to put handcuffs on him.

So that's how you know they're full of shit. And the reason why they're coming at Trump in the way, there's ways to, so now they're starting to oppose him because of this Iran thing. So now you turn on CNN and Chris Cuomo goes, hey, why doesn't Congress do its job and take back the war powers that they gave to the president under this AUM? So now, which is what I predicted would happen when Trump, the silver lining of a Trump presidency was all the shit that the Democrats and Republicans have been agreeing on, which is war, fracking, opening the Arctic to drilling, all that stuff, gassing immigrants at the border. Now we're all going to become aware of it. Well, the Democrats spent three years doing frickin' Russiagate, so they didn't ever oppose him on that stuff, and they let him keep doing it. And so now people are starting to become aware of what's happening. And so now Chris Cuomo is going, hey, why doesn't Congress do their job? Why are you letting crazy President Trump?

Well, they just gave him 131. They gave him his spying powers. Again, through the Patriot Act. This guy who's working for Putin, you're going to give him spying powers? You fucking bullshitter. They're all fucking bullshitters. It's a weird scam. Yeah, Joe, if you thought a guy was working for Putin,

would you give him an extra $131 billion to go bomb anybody at his own pace? By the way, that's also intelligence. Is that a rhetorical question? Yes. Yes. So that's why people give me a hard time about supporting Tulsi. I think it's really important to have an anti-war voice that speaks from experience. She's actually in the military right now.

She actually volunteered to go serve in their illegal wars, and then they smear her for it. It's kind of amazing. Well, she's a weird one, right? Because she has so many characteristics that you would think that everyone who's a progressive would want as a president she is a a veteran who twice served overseas twice deployed she's been a veteran for a long time long time congresswoman um she's from hawaii she's uh i mean i guess she's hawaiian you would say she's a woman of color they say she's a woman of color what color she's like a like a beige she's tanner than me is she well she lives in hawaii that's why yeah i don't know i don't know about these

things i'm white i don't know it is really i mean the hawaiian roots are essentially uh polynesian and south pacific travelers who landed thousands of years ago on those islands so yeah i mean it is essentially a person of color either way she, she's a very articulate, rock-solid woman, and they've tried to find a bunch of dirt on her, and they can't. And they don't know what to do. And it's just funny to me that a lot of people who were supporting Elizabeth Warren were shitting on Tulsi as hard as they can. And of course, Elizabeth Warren shows her true colors.

She does a right-wing sexist smear on Bernie Sanders is what's happening. That was weird. This is such, what a crazy thing to do. It was a fake smear. Like, nobody's buying that. So it was her, the media, and the DNC got together, and they're like, hey, let's do this. Because it was coordinated. This didn't come out of nowhere.

Right. And CNN, did you see that story? CNN wrote these two people who heard it from these other two people who we're not even going to name. And that's on CNN. That's CNN. That's how they do it. That's so crazy. It's so crazy.

Yes. They're digging their own grave, though. What they're doing is they're making themselves less and less relevant, and they're making guys like you and independent people more and more relevant and more and more trustworthy. And that's why they keep going to the catnip of Russiagate or Trump's tweets or whatever, impeachment and this phone call to the thing. And look how the media phone call to the thing. And, you know, look how the media runs interference for the establishment.

It's amazing, like, you know, to pretend that the Bidens aren't corrupt. I know. Hilarious. And to have people come on and go, that's a lie. That's no corruption. It's been looked into. There's no corruption that a guy has an $83,000 job on a board in a country his dad just helped overthrow. What are you, fucking crazy?

That seems like it might be a little corrupt. Well, the conversation where he tells the prosecutor that if he's not gone, you don't get the billion dollars. Right. What do you know? They fired the guy. Right. You saw that video. So, yeah, I saw that video. But their defense to that is they're saying, but that prosecutor was corrupt.

And the next guy was even more tougher of an investigator. But that guy was investigating Burismo at the time. And that guy did say later, that guy who got fired said, I got fired because I was investigating Burismo. He said that in a court document. So, believe me, they're all... Why didn't they impeach Trump on

the emoluments clause? Why didn't they do that? Why did they do it on this bullshit? So that's him benefiting off his position in government. It's because they all do it! Right. Why do you think? Because it would bring up everything! It would have to, right? That's right. Hey, Hillary Clinton, I mean, Chelsea Clinton just got a $9 million job for

She deserves it. Oh my god, she did. She did. She's the best. So, and people are saying that. People are saying, what's wrong with a woman using her degree? She has three degrees. I wonder how she was able to afford those three degrees. I wonder. She overcame all those obstacles?

She did. You know what I mean? Yeah. So they're all corrupt. Then that's the story, and that's why we have Donald Trump. And they're clinging to this system. That's why we don't have a functioning medical system or a functioning banking system, because Barack Obama was

paid off by the health insurance companies and the Wall Street banks. And that's not me saying that. That's Dylan Radigan, award-winning Bloomberg reporter, says that. How'd they pay him off? Well, he has a, I don't know if you noticed, he just bought a house at Martha's Vineyard from

the guy who owns the Celtics. But he sells hats or something. He has 49 acres. He's got a lot of money. That's more acres than Kevin Hart. Wow. That's a lot of acres. That is a lot of acres. Yeah.

That's the guy who's a community organizer. I guess it was a gated community. But how do they pay him off? Fucking love comedy. How does that work where it's legal? How does the president get paid off? When he left the presidency, he goes windsurfing with Branson for a while, right? As we still don't have clean water in Flint.

And then when he comes back in the public life, the first thing he does, he goes to make speeches for equity firms. He had a half a million to pop for a 20-minute speech. What do you think that is? What do you think all this is? It's a bribe. It's an after-the-fact bribe. Yes. Yeah.

But it's amazing that they still honor that, that they're so rock solid in their commitment to this corrupt system that even after the guy can't even help him anymore, he's out of office, they hook him up with these speaking jobs. Right. He gets a half a million bucks a pop and then whatever he wants to do yeah wasn't that a thing about the clinton foundation where uh bill clinton would he would make sure that he got speaking gigs along with the weapons deals that she was giving yes yeah this is correct yeah they're hundreds everybody's again they're dirty we didn't get trump because the democratic party was doing their job weapons deals that she was giving. Yes. Yeah. This is correct. Yeah. There are hundreds. Everybody's, again.

They're dirty. We didn't get Trump because the Democratic Party was doing their job. Right. The people got desperate and decided to take a chance on a political novice game show host who they knew was a bullshitter. Everybody knows Trump's a bullshitter. They were like, good, go bullshit those people we hate. Yeah.

And that's deceit. And I've been imploring the bernie campaign which nobody listens to me so it doesn't matter why don't they listen to you uh i i don't know maybe because i communicate in a caustic way joe but i i i've been trying to bernie is uh should be wiping the floor with these candidates he it shouldn't even be close, right? And so I've been imploring them, Bernie, take the gloves off. Would you quit turning to Joe Biden

and saying, my best friend, Joe Biden, you got to do what Trump did, what Trump was running. He ran against the Republican Party. He ran against all those pukes that the people are sick and tired of, that the people have been let down by. These are the people who took you to Iraq.

These are the people who took you to Libya. These are the people who took you to Iraq. These are the people who took you to Libya. These are the people who are bankrupting you. So that's what he did. And Bernie gets up and he goes, Joe, my good friend, I just want to let you know you're corrupt. It's like quit saying you're friends with these fucking guys who are corrupt. Quit doing just – he could land it. He should turn, and I've been begging – he came close in the last debate. He kind of came –

Do it in his voice. Tell – what should he say? I'm not good at impressions. Mike McCray is the best. You got right there. That was a pretty good one. Joe Biden, the reason why you can't understand how Medicare for All works is because you're corrupt. And you're paid not to understand.

And we're going to get rid of your brand of corruption when I'm president. Because you're the problem. Oh, my God. People would go crazy? The place would go fucking crazy. your brand of corruption when i'm president because you're the problem oh my god people go crazy the place would go fucking crazy elizabeth warren would stand up for joe biden that's right i'm a sexist piece of shit that's right and everybody would see what the game is wasn't he like always in support of elizabeth biden yeah elizabeth biden elizabeth biden elizabeth warren wasn't he always in support of her joe biden yeah no no no no bernie sanders yeah there he was always in support of yes so elizabeth yeah no no no no bernie sanders yeah there was always in support

of yes so elizabeth warren was like hey bernie's policies are pretty popular i'll pretend like they're mine yeah well she was a republican people forget that until she was 47 years old yeah right forget that yeah well while bernie was running around telling people that a woman could be president she was still a republican yes fyi yeah so it's amazing that you know it's like if anybody gonna vote for elizabeth warren over bernie it's like vaping that's what i say it's like just smoke the real thing there's a real thing right well there's a lot of people out there that still just want a woman president that's right yeah and i understand i understand that but you you got you can't let identity trump policy you gotta you you know, that's identity politics.

Well, we're going to have a woman who's not as good as a guy. We'll have a woman who could be. It's like, no, you're supposed to marry them together. You know, you can't just because of her identity, that's not good. Trump's going to torture her. If she makes it, if she becomes the nominee, that Pocahontas shit. She couldn't handle Meghan McCain the other day. On The View, Did you see that?

How Meghan McCain twisted into a pretzel to get her to say Soleimani was a terrorist? It was unbelievable the way she did. Did she really? Why don't you say

he's a terrorist though? And then she does that. Do it, but puff your cheeks out. No? What the fuck? How do you get away with shit? What do you mean? What did I do?

I don't know. I'm just saying. I said puff your cheeks out Is that a problem? I don't Are we supposed to pretend She's not fat? Who? Who?

Who are we talking about? Who are we talking about? Have you ever seen Tim Dillon Do his version of Meghan McCain? No Oh I'm gonna get you Something beautiful right now

Oh really? I'm gonna show you Something amazing So there's this tape Somebody put together Of Meghan McCain Saying my father Have you seen that one Where she says it over And over and over Yes So I started I was in Ventura, California Oh, really? I'm going to show you something amazing. So there's this tape somebody put together of Meghan McCain saying, My father.

Have you seen that one where she says it over and over and over? Yes. So I started. I was in Ventura, California. I was playing that clip. Like, as a joke. Like, we're all going to laugh. There was almost a fucking riot at my show.

People made me stop playing it. They didn't want to see it. At first, I thought they were, like, cheering, because they cheer often at my show. And then I'm like, oh, no, they're screaming. Oh, Ventura's a sketchy spot. Ventura's like, why? You know, it's one of them torrents places. What are you doing here?

Watch this. Play it from the beginning and give me some volume. Okay, watch this. This is Tim Dillon. Before my father died, I had a baby with him. And it will be raised in captivity. It will be raised privately captivity it will be raised privately

to be the greatest politician that has ever lived my name is Meghan McCain and I'm on a news show called The View and Donald Trump that fucking

riverboat casino captain is talking shit about my father again my father was tortured for a hundred years for this fucking country and he came back and he started

seven wars because he's a gentleman fuck you trump i'm gonna wear my father's skin mask and i'm gonna primary trump from the right come on the view bitch if you're that tough come on the view you want an alessandra you want this shit you want to fuck these tits trump you want to fuck these tits, Trump. You want to fuck these tits? No, you don't. You want to suck cock. But I won't fuck you because the only person I'll fuck is daddy. I'll fuck his corpse. I'll fuck daddy's corpse.

He's the best. That impression. I had a baby. The reason it kept it. The reason it kept it. Raised it and kept it. He's an animal. Wow, who is that? Tim Dillon.

Oh, that's funny. Hilarious comic. He's a New York guy. He's out here now. Oh, that's funny. Oh my God. Don't you love being a comedian? Oh, I love it.

I love guys like him. That to me is, that's, there's not a fucking filter to be found. Not a filter to be found. He's just, he's got the hair. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's gay, too.

So he's got like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's got like a free pass to get wild. When you're gay, you can get away with more shit. I know, don't you wish I wish I was gay

You can say crazy shit about women Lots of stuff He went around as Jeffrey Epstein's temple He dressed up like Jeffrey Epstein's temple Which by the way That temple is fucking

How strange is that That it's the same colors As the Israeli flag Jesus Christ Oh yeah Yeah Oh yeah same colors as the Israeli flag? Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It looks like the Israeli flag.

Okay. Yeah. Who's that, Chuck Schumer walking away from him? Yeah. He looks like Chuck Schumer. Yeah. Oh, wow. That was funny.

Thanks for playing that. Oh, he's hilarious. He does a lot of shit. He works. Like, he puts in a lot of time. He does a lot of things. A lot of content. Oh, yeah? He puts out a lot of shit. He does a lot of things. A lot of content. Oh, yeah?

He puts out a lot of shit. Yeah, and he's a really funny comic, too. I got to do more comedy. What's been going on? You haven't been doing a lot? I go out, but it's like I don't drive as far as I should. Oh. Do you go to the store at all?

You know what? I've never worked at the store. How dare you? I did actually send an email. I go, hey, I want to do my show down at the store in La Jolla. Yeah? Because I want to go to San Diego again in June. I love La Jolla.

Do you? Oh, that club is one of the greatest clubs in the world. The store down there? That store down there is perfect. It's perfect. It's like a perfect comedy club. I sent an email. I didn't get it in return.

Oh, no. Well, they're probably booked. They're so booked. Everything's booked Yeah I bet You know the store Has never been more popular Right now it's sold out

Every night Yeah I know I should start going there I just gotta get out Of my ass I just gotta get off You know I go to Flappers

Which is in Burbank So it's real close To my house And I go up I go up there a couple Times a week And it feels good Then I go to the

Comedy Magic Club On the weekend It's a good club That's a great club And I go to the comedy magic club on the weekend it's good club that's a great club and then and i go to the improv randomly yeah and uh so that's that's pretty much my how often are you getting up a week just maybe you know two or three times that's not too bad that's not too bad it's not good yeah i'm doing three sets tonight see that's what i'm talking about yeah you gotta do a lot Comedy is reps It's all about reps It's all about reps It's like Alan

My friend Alan Havy Goes to New York And now he works at that The comedy cellar And they have like Three venues now So he just has to make One call

And he gets three sets a night And I'm like Oh If I could just go out And he didn't have to travel far It's like all real close That's Yeah

There's nothing better Than doing three sets a night right Well stand up is like I feel like it's like running You want runner's endurance You want to be in shape You got to run You have to run

In stand-up, you have to do stand-up You do it, you get into it You get the rhythm You get the groove You feel it Once you start overthinking it Yeah And that happens

If you have too much of a break For me, anyway I start to overthink it Of course I start to get nervous Yeah, of course Do you get nervous? Oh, yeah, if you take time off you feel uncomfortable that's the best way to describe

it's not necessarily nervous because i know jokes i know how to tell them right but i don't feel comfortable right yeah it's a totally yes i was in um so just in portland this last weekend do helium up there no i do the alberta Rose Theater. And I had to write a whole new show because we came back too soon, like six months ago. We were in Portland, so I had to write a whole new fucking show. And I was really sweating it. I didn't realize how nervous I was. And so when I got on stage about 30 minutes in, it was going good, right? I got my appetite.

All of a sudden, I was hungry. And so I got a calzone and I had eat it on stage yes what i couldn't i was starving i had another two hours to go my show goes two and a half hours and sometimes eight while you're on some months i'm like i have to get yeah so i just got a calzone how did the people handle it they all went and got calzones they sold out so you had a break no we just as as I'm doing the show, I had three people up on stage with me. Are you in the calzone business? Are you the Nancy Pelosi of calzones? Is that what's going on?

You know, I have some interests in calzones. I don't know how you can do that. I've often looked, I'd be on stage and I'd look down at the chicken wing and I'm like, I could eat that fucking thing right now. Really? Yeah, so as soon as my nervousness goes away like i'll get hungry yeah that's so weird yeah while you're on stage you get hungry if i'm yeah because my nervousness goes away i don't know how many times i can say this no i understand so before that because of the

nervousness you can't eat yeah so you go on stage hungry yes but you probably should be but i don't feel hungry when i go outside i just feel like a knot or whatever. And then the nervousness goes away. You're just doing well. And then you're like, I got to fucking eat something. You go on stage and you do two and a half hours? Yeah. Whoa.

That's a lot of time. Well, it's not stand-up. I have video. That's right. You're doing your show. Video. Doing a video show. But we write jokes for the videos and everything.

It's not just guys doing a podcast. Right. That makes a little more sense that you want to eat in the middle of show. Video. Doing a video show. But we write jokes for the videos and everything. It's not just guys doing a podcast. Right. That makes a little more sense that you want to eat in the middle of it. Yeah. A little more sense. Because if you're on stage doing your act. Oh, yeah, you can. If I'm doing my act, that's why I often do my act, I look like I'd like to have a piece

of that chicken. You can't do that. I could play a video that's going to be a minute and I've got... Oh, so that's what you do? Then you come back. Yeah. Do you worry about shit flying out of your mouth what you do come back yeah do you worry about shit flying out of your mouth while you're talking i do not worry about that it should because the

people already like me oh okay that's a good way of looking at it yeah that it's you know it's such a freeing such i don't have to convince anybody or and that's the weird thing with my kind of comedy like i i like to go up in front of people who don't know me to surprise them in a in a way like watch i'm gonna but I also have to get into it a little gentler. Yes. More gently. Right. Yeah, more gently.

Yeah. So I have to get into... I have to act like, hey, my brother said this. Or, hey, I'm too dumb. I don't get it. Why is the government against worker strikes, but they're for military strikes? As opposed to the way you would do it in front of your crowd. Yeah.

Yeah. In front of my crowd, I'm much more amped up and angry or what have you. That makes sense. Yeah, it's a weird thing, right? There's a catch-22 to that, because if you play to your people all the time, you can get soft, because they'll laugh at stuff just because

they like you. That's right. And then a regular audience will be like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's right. There's some regular audience will be like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's right. There's some people that I've seen where they do well, especially like some podcast folks, they have a crowd. And then the people will come to see them when they do their shows and like, oh, they're just happy to see you and you do well. But then you go do a show, a rando show at the fucking improv

where there's like five other people, especially that lab. That lab is hot death. At the improv? Yeah. That little tiny room? It can be. It's set up all fucked up. The door is right next to your stage.

You're on stage and you hear the door and see people walking in. The bar is enormous. It's way too big. It's like if everyone in the room was a rabid alcoholic, maybe you could justify having a bar that big in a room that small. It doesn't make any sense. I just like that room. That's funny.

You know, now that you mention it, I guess I noticed that stuff, but... They should light that room on fire. Really? They should take sage through that room and clear it of ghosts and then light it on fire. I enjoyed it because there's no waitresses.

Right? Not that I don't like waitresses. You go and get your own drinks? If you want a drink, you go to the bar. And so nobody walks around in front of you, so there's no distractions. People just sit there. Oh, you're anti-waitress. You motherfucker.

You fucking asshole. I get it, I get it, I get it. Jimmy's got a problem with the women. He likes a male bartender. A rugged. You know, we just got done making fun of Kyle Kalinske got in trouble for making fun of Elizabeth Warren's

dancing. He didn't get in trouble. That Cory Booker guy went after him. That is nonsense. You virtual signaling dummy. That is so silly. He made fun of everything. He made fun of Cory Booker's jokes. Dad jokes. He made fun of the... But if he made fun of everything he made fun of cory booker's jokes dad jokes he made fun of the that's but if he makes fun of elizabeth warren all of a sudden it's sexist it's like hey his quote like you see what he said like it was so clunky like i'm sorry you had 18

year old autistic college student who just gets to talk for the first time yeah yeah it was so clunky yeah how did you formulate this this sentence did you really feel this then and who do you think's gonna believe this like the people who are gonna believe this what you they already like you the most of the people are gonna see right through this thing so it was just to me it's like uh you know it's a schizophrenic message from people like that with Elizabeth Warren's defenders it's like well women message from people like that with elizabeth warren's defenders it's like well women can women can do anything except take a joke i guess dance watch her dance let's watch that video elizabeth warren dancing if you're not making fun of that you're out of

your fucking mind if there's a thing to make fun of why do white people think this is dancing by the way you ever notice that george bush dance my number one move. Doesn't Ellen do that, too? I think Ellen may do that. I don't know. Elon Musk did it, too. Did you see when Elon Musk was in China? Took his jacket off, threw it on the ground, was dancing. He's having a good time. I guess that's okay.

Probably had a couple of pops. Yeah, he's not running for anything. Exactly. And everybody made fun of it. Nobody accused anybody of being sexist. Really? Yeah Yeah Dancing was hilarious We'll play that first We'll play that second Let's play the Elizabeth Warren one first Because the Elizabeth Warren one is so fucking ridiculous

You're watching her dance and you're like How dare you say I can't make fun of this How dare you How dare you Obviously it's By the way it's not like somebody put up a cell phone video of her dancing at a wedding. No one's going to get... That's okay. She's on stage

trying to get something from people, and she thinks this will get it for her. Here we go. Here she goes. So here she goes. Here she's up there. I don't know if you can play that music. So she decided, yeah, we can't play that music. So it's...

Look at her dancing. First of all, she looks like she needs... No, this isn't it. This isn't it? No, it's one with Julian Castro is in the background. This is a different one. This is her... Oh, there she goes, though.

Oh, no, she's doing it there, too. Yeah. Oh, no. That would... Oh, no. She keeps doing this. She looks like her back is welded Like it's all one piece

Everything is moving like this Yes you're right She's a robot She's barely real It's about being white That's weird because I thought she was Native American Well that's what I said So obviously Bernie's lying about saying women can't win,

or Elizabeth Warren is lying about him saying that. And I'm not going to accuse a Native American of lying. I'm just not going to go there. Good for you. She is one one-thousandth Native American. So that's real. That's a real number. It might be 2,000.

She's 70. Her moves shouldn't be very elastic, right? That's a lot of 70-year-olds out there. Good point. 70. Her moves shouldn't be very elastic, right? That's a lot of 70-year-olds out there. Good point. 70. She actually looks pretty good for 70 because Bernie looks like shit. Bernie's head is in the middle of his chest. I've heard you say that before.

It's like falling off. If I was his friend, I'd be like, bro, you've got to work on your posture. We've got to get you some spinal decompression. Get you to some yoga classes. Your head's going to fall off. When you meet him, he's taller like, bro, you got to work on your posture. We got to get you some spinal decompression. Get you to some yoga classes. Your head's going to fall off. When you meet him, he's taller than you think, right? Yes, because his head's like this. Yeah, you meet him, you're like, oh, I thought...

It's supposed to be up here. I thought for sure I was going to be taller than him when I met him. You ever have that happen? I thought for sure I'm going to be... And he was way taller than me. Well, I'm 5'8". I always assume I'm shorter than everybody before I meet them. Okay.

Pretty much. Unless they're like a tiny person. I thought Chris Hedges was going to be 6'5 when I met him. And he's the same height. He's a normal guy? Yeah, he's normal. Not tall. Have you met Chris Cuomo?

Fredo? Did you call him Fredo? No. He'll wreck my shit if I do that. Yeah, he'll wreck your shit and throw you downstairs. That was so revealing. That was so revealing. I was like, who are you?

Are you 16? But you know that Fredo is the N-word. Oh, we've all said that. We've all said that. We've been saying that for years. You get fed a cheaty L-N-word. That is so fucking dumb to say that. That's so stupid.

The idea that he thought that he could pass that off and he knew they were filming him, right? Yes, yes. How do you not know? It's like, saying that to an Italian American is like using the N word. Like, oh.

Is it really? Guess what? Here's the thing about being Italian. There's no word for us. There's no word for us. You can call me a guinea. You can call me a greaseball. It's like, okay.

It doesn't work. Right. There's no word they don't work they worked for my grandfather's day i used to talk to my grandfather because you know he was an immigrant and he came over from italy and he told me all the horrible shit kids in school would say to him all the horrible shit people yeah yeah guineas back then were they were they were talked to like trash immigrants like they Like they wanted them to go home. They didn't want them there.

And there was a lot of dispute between the Irish and the Italians. Italians were thought of the way a lot of racist people think of Mexicans. Like they're coming over here to take our jobs. They're infesting our neighborhood with their smells and their food. And they want to talk their language. Like my grandparents always spoke Italian in the house. Did they smell? They smelled great.

It depends on what you like. I love Italian food, so it smelled great. But they always talked Italian. My grandmother and my grandfather always spoke Italian to each other. Yeah. They lived in an Italian neighborhood up until it changed. They lived in Newark, New Jersey. Okay.

Which was all Italian. So it seems like every wave of immigrants becomes the new horrible person. Yes. neighborhood up until it changed they lived in uh newark new jersey okay which was all italian so it seems like every wave of immigrants becomes the new horrible person right so i'm i grew up because i was irish and they talk about how the no irish need apply all that stuff and that's why yeah i mean that's what it's just there's waves of this right and now the wave is you know mexicans are the scapegoats but you know there's that documentary they did a while back uh a day with no mexicans uh-huh but but it's true everything would fucking shut down shut down especially los angeles no kidding but most of the country most of the country and this is the dirty secret about the united states of america is that we

rely a lot of i shouldn't say we a lot of industry podcasts it doesn't really rely on illegal immigrants but a lot of industries rely on illegal immigrants and it's it's a fucked up situation to be in for them because they really don't have a path to become legal even if they've been proven right for decade after decade that they're a viable contributing part of our culture because they got over here illegally even if they came over here as a child that we can't we can't let you stay you know um and that's another thing you know the immigration uh had they've been scapegoated since as far as i can remember bill clinton so bill clinton if you go back the c-span videos of him saying mexicans coming here taking our jobs and all that stuff he was he did all that stuff and hillary cl, she bragged that she voted for a border wall. A barrier.

It was a fence in some places. She used to brag about it. And so then Trump comes along and turns it up another notch. And they're like, this guy's a fuck. It's like, no, you guys. So I make this point.

He just says it in a way that's... Yeah, it's very offensive and it's wrong, right? Of course it is. But what I'm saying is he's building off of a bunch of shit that's offensive and wrong just like when they tweeted out those so you find out uh uh this is what i say that oh he he banned all the muslims at the airport then you find out why are they at the airport barack obama's been bombing them for eight fucking years straight he dropped

26 000 bombs they ran out of bombs then you find out he's putting immigrants in cages you find out about barack obama built those cages then you you find out that Trump is gassing immigrants at the border. And you find out Barack Obama also gassed immigrants at the border. And they should be honored they were gassed by the lesser of two evils. So there is the silver lining. And it's finally starting to come out because the Democrats have run this Russiagate. It's done. They did the Mueller report.

It's over. He concluded there is no collusion. It's over. So now they moved on to impeachment. But now he's done. They did the Mueller report. It's over. He concluded there is no collusion. It's over. So now they moved on to impeachment, but now he's bombing. So they're finally starting to talk about the War Powers Act. But nobody's talking about cutting the Pentagon budget. Do you hear that? I don't hear that.

Do you think the main thing about impeachment is supposedly that he tried to get Ukraine to investigate his political opponent, Joe Biden. Right. That's the main thing. That's what they say. You take that out, and there's basically nothing. Right. And people aren't really that upset that he tried. Half the country, for sure, aren't upset that he tried to investigate Joe Biden.

So many people are clinging to this as if this impeachment makes sense, because they think that he's not presidential. That's it. Yeah. impeachment makes sense because they think that he's not presidential that's it yeah that as as aaron matei says who's the only guy i know who won an award for his russiagate coverage uh because he debunked it uh like a good reporter supposed to do it he he always makes the point that trump is not uh a suitable steward of imperialism and they think he puts an ugly face on the shit we've been this is what i this is the trump puts an ugly face on the shit we've been this is what i this is the trump puts

an ugly face on the stuff we've been doing all along and so now people are going to be more aware of it and we would have been more aware of it if the democrats would have actually opposed him on substance instead of russiagate he says things sometimes that you go you are just allowed to write your own speech like when he when he was talking about Baghdadi, that he died like a dog. And you're like, what? You're allowed to say that he died like a dog? Or how about the, this is the weird thing, that he uses Twitter to threaten other countries.

Like when he was talking about Iran, that if they respond, we will respond in perhaps a disproportionate manner. Like you're using Twitter to threaten threat like nobody ever thought that there was going to be this sort of a a venue for a president to just just have mouth diarrhea and that's why i mean i i really believe that's a big reason why a lot of the establishment wants to get rid of him because he makes them look bad because they agree with his policies the democrats just gave him everything he wanted they paid for his fucking border wall they gave him expanded spying powers they gave him extra 131 billion to go bomb people

they helped fast track his judges they fucking uh also helped him deregulate wall street what the fuck aren't they doing for him and that's why we have donald trump and that's why it's important that bernie uh gets in that's why it's important that he overcomes their cheating and i just want you talk about schizophrenic like bernie has a schizophrenic strategy like people are upset that i critique his strategy i want bernie to be stronger i want him to win and i want him to so like he'll come on give a speech where he says, I'm running against the Democrat as establishment. And people go crazy, right, because we know that's the problem. And then he'll do a video where he endorses the DNC. Like, hey, give us money.

He just did a video with all the Democratic candidates talking about unity. And every campaign had to pay $170,000 to the DNC to be included in that video. Why? Because the DNC is bankrupt. Why? Because no one's donating to it. And so they have to extort money out of their own candidates, saying if you don't give us $170,000 each to do this Unity video, we won't have any money to help you once you win the nomination.

So they all ponied up and they were all in it. And Bernie's in a Unity video where he's supposed to be speaking against millionaires and billionaires. There's two billionaires in the fucking video. Tom Steyer and Bloomberg. We've got to come together with billionaires to oppose. No, they are the fucking problem. Bloomberg is a problem. He's the guy who instituted stop and frisk.

He's the guy who says New York needs more billionaires. Those are the fucking guys who are the problem. And if Bernie would just stop playing footsie with them in a sense and just bash them, I think it wouldn't even be close. So he's got it like Barack Obama. He's got to overwin because they're going to cheat him. So he has to overwin. And I tell you what, if he picked Tulsi Gabbard as his vice president, he would crush Donald Trump because there are a lot of right-wingers and there's a lot of independents. There's a lot of anti-war people who are upset with the Republican Party.

A lot of independents, libertarians. And they like her because she's A. All the things that you like about her. She's strong. She doesn't fly off the hip. And she's proven herself as a patriot. All that stuff. What do you think they're doing?

Who do you think they're leaning towards for the nominee? Do you think they want Warren? Oh, the establishment, yes do you think they want warren oh the establishment yes yeah they want oh that's why the dnc the media and elizabeth warren's campaign coordinated on this latest sexist hit on bernie sanders but it's not working i don't think so i think it's backfiring it's it should backfire it's just it's amazing that the the pocahontas stuff that she's gotten as far as she has with lying about being Native American and using it to get a job.

And the way she lies about it. I mean, she's such a bad, again, she's also a bad liar. Like when Meghan McCain can twist you into pretzel, that's not good. You know, she went on some podcast

with these black guys. I don't know, have you ever seen that video where she's being interviewed by three black guys? In a podcast? Yeah, they just tear her to shreds. Oh, is that Charlemagne?

Is that on the Breakfast Club? I think maybe, I don't, is that Charlemagne? Is that on The Breakfast Club? I think maybe. I don't know. I'm out of touch. I don't know anything. Charlemagne's sharp as fuck. I think he went after her for the whole Native American thing.

And she was just basically saying, well, it's a family story that we always told. He nailed her. It was easy. It was like you talking to Barry Weiss. It wasn't Barry Weiss. All you had to do

was ask the normal questions. Here it is. What does Toadie mean? Charlamagne the God calls Elizabeth Warren the original Rachel Dolezal. That's right. Yes, that's right. That's what he did say. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a hilarious thing to say, the original Rachel Dolezal. The original. Well, she used it to get a job. I mean, she really did, and she didn't give any of that money back. I mean, didn't she get a job. I mean, she really did. And she didn't give any of that money back. I mean, didn't she get a job at Harvard because of that? She claimed she did it.

She claimed she did it. But it was on her application. She was Native American. There's a reason why. Yeah. And she's just saying it's because our family. But she was saying she's Native American. Like, that's the whole thing?

You're 100% that? I don't know what she was saying. Right? I know it's really come back to bite her in the ass. I know. I bet she was. Not enough. Not enough. She's still bouncing around.

Like, that's a liar. Like, she's a person that makes up a past. She's created a fake past, and she did it back when there was no DNA test available. So you can get away with being Native American. It makes you look like you're, first of all, you're kind of cool, right? Everybody, like, you ever see that movie Vision Quest? No. Great movie. Matthew Modine. But his buddy's like a fake Indian. His buddy lied about being

Native American. He had a mohawk and everything. He was playing up the Native American thing. Because people want to be Native American. It's a cool thing. Yeah. You know, they're thought to be more spiritual. Yes. More deep and interesting and certainly more oppressed. So if you say, if she says she's Native American, oh, look at this Native American woman who made it all the way to be president.

It's exotic. Yeah. Meanwhile, she's like one two thousandth Native American. Is that what it was? Some ridiculous, ridiculously small number. Right. And then when she got her DNA test, Trump said that if she was Native American

that he would give a million dollars to charity, give her a million dollars, something like that. And so she was like, well, time to pay up. Like, what? Did you look at the numbers? Yes, she did. Yes, she did. Find that.

I find everything you're saying right now sexist i hope you know that fuck yeah everything you're saying is sexist must be right i'm talking about a woman what do people you know what you know you talk about how you feel bad about the new york times not being yes because i know i know that feeling you wanted somebody to be what what are the other news people like at msnbc and say what do they think they think when they see Tucker Carlson kicking their ass doing war coverage? Isn't that fucking amazing? The Tucker Carlson thing was interesting, right? Isn't that amazing?

He seems at least partially independent. Why is he allowed to tell the truth about war at Fox News? I don't fucking get that. They're not allowed to tell the truth about war at CNN or MSNBC. Well, Shepard Smith was allowed to tell the truth, too. Certain truths, but he was, again. the truth too but he was like certain truths but he was again

after a while he was like I gotta get the fuck out of here yeah again there's lots of truths he didn't tell also

so that's why I still did you see Bombshell no what is this that's the movie with the Roger Ailes movie oh I started watching that

oh man that guy who's the actor from Australia what's his name oh whoever that guy, who's the actor from Australia? What's his name? Oh. Whoever the guy is. He's fantastic. Isn't that John Lithgow in Bombshell, though?

I think you're thinking of the Dick Cheney movie. I'm thinking of a series. There's a series about Roger Ailes in Fox News. Oh. No, this is a movie. Oh, I didn't see it. This is a new Charlize Theron movie. Oh, really? Yeah, where she plays Megyn movie. Oh, I didn't see it. This is a new Charlize Theron. Oh, really? Yeah, where she plays Megyn Kelly.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. So she's playing someone less attractive. N-I-W-R-C is a nonprofit working to protect Native women from violence. More than half all Native women have experienced sexual violence and the majority of violent crimes against Native Americans are perpetrated by by non-natives send them your one million dollar check real donald trump so she's saying that because she's native american she tested like a trace amount like it really it's probably like she blew a native american guy in college well what did it by the way real donald

trump i remember saying on seven five you give me $1 million for charity if my choice of my DNA showed Native American ancestry. I remember, and here's the verdict. Warren tests... Warren reveals tests confirming ancestry. What? Yeah, but it's such an insanely small amount.

Oh, God. Look, I am 1.6% African. I am 200 times more African than she is Native American. That's real. Yeah. L-O-L. So. Imagine.

I mean, I thought that when she said she got fired from teaching and then the video came out and said she quit, I thought that would be the end. That should be the end, too. I got called a sexist for talking about that. Oh, you are sexist i had a clinton advisor come at me a bill clinton advisor oh that's hilarious you've been funny advisors should all shut the fuck up you would think you are so lucky you're not in jail i only flew 26 times with jeffrey epstein it's not a lot of times he was a good guy he had a nice jet we flew around we saw the sky we looked at things we had a couple drinks you do a good guy He had a nice jet We flew around We saw the sky We looked at things

We had a couple drinks You do a good Clinton It's alright It's not that good Jeffrey Jeffrey actually does a good Clinton But that's because He's got hours and hours

And hours of tapes on me I'm bad Every time I try to do an impression It sounds like a drunk Irish guy No your Bernie's pretty damn good But Bill is so obvious. $27? Yeah, there it is.

You know why $27? Because that's my social security number. 27. That's good. Yeah, it's because he was the 27th person alive. It's an old joke, Joe. I get it. I get it.

It was funny here in 2016. I get it. Okay. But any Bill Clinton advisor calling you a sexist, that is goddamned hilarious. That's rich. Did you write the come off your dress before you called me a sexist? That fucking guy. When he dies, there will be stories.

Yeah. Well, there's already stories. We just haven't heard them. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it's just, it just amazing how much they can keep quiet. Well, it's amazing that the Epstein thing just comes and goes and nobody gets thrown run out of office. Nobody gets nothing.

Nothing. Fucking nothing. Well, how about the fact that they accidentally erased the first attempted suicide video? Whoops. We accidentally erased that, too. How about they erased all the torture videos? I mean, they did that. The CIA did that.

They lied to Congress on camera. Joe, we're living in a... Shit happens. Things go bad. What does Jesse Ventura say? He says, when you're telling the truth is... I can forget that quote. But when you're living in universal deceit,

telling the truth is a treasonous act or something. I just said it earlier and I can't remember. Oh, Jesse Ventura. Yeah, he was going to run for president. Wasn't he? As an independent? I don't know. I think he toyed with it. Is Bloomberg still running? Yes, he is. I don't hear anything

about it. He's spending tons of money on ads and stuff and so is Steyer. Steyer, they say, was like number two. He got himself up to like number two in South Carolina or something because of all the money

he's spending and you talk to people who live there they go I went home for Christmas and every third commercial was a Tom Steyer commercial really

so it's a local thing so he's trying to get that market yeah so he's like okay I might not win Iowa but I can maybe put all my money

into South Carolina so do you think the establishment wants Elizabeth Warren? Because of the fact, look, she's willing to play ball. She wants to be president. She was a Republican forever, and then she switched over, became a Democrat. This thing about him, Bernie, being sexist is so obviously a political ploy.

It's so transparent and really gross. Yeah. So now when they call Trump a sexist, it doesn't land. Right, so transparent and really gross. Yeah. So now when someone acts, so now when they call Trump a sexist, it doesn't land. Right. Exactly.

They cried wolf to me. That's exactly what, I mean, they teach this to six-year-olds. Don't cry wolf. Yeah. And here they are, an entire organization,

the establishment, has been crying wolf. It's crazy. These motherfuckers. These motherfuckers. What do you keep looking at your shirt for? I spilled some

of that turmeric coffee on it. Oh. And I washed it off during the show. Oh, did you? I didn't even notice. Yeah, I didn't notice. See how unnoticed, unobserving I am? It's all right.

It's all right. See, a little spot there. It's no big deal. So how many times do you go out a week? How many times I do shows? Yeah, stand up. It depends on the week, but always at least four. This week I'm only working Tuesday and Wednesday night

because I've got to go and do the UFC this weekend in Vegas. Oh. And I didn't schedule a gig. But a regular weekend, boy, depending on if I'm on the road or here, if I'm here, I mean, on a regular week I'll work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I do that all the time. I'll do multiple sets a night.

I'll do the store. I'll do the improv. Sometimes I'll do the ice house. Okay. So, I'll change subjects real quick. Do you watch boxing? Yes. Did you watch Ruiz?

Yes. He got fat and he was partying. Why did he do that? He had a good time. He fucked up. He got rid of his trainer. He did a lot of things wrong. At first they were saying he lost too much weight. Did you remember that? But that was just because there was a photo that he was doing like the

Instagram angle. Oh, is that it? It's like him in the bathroom looking down. Oh, okay. If you like have a camera and you pose in a certain way, you can make yourself look slim. Okay. Like I get, nothing gets you more excited than a good boxing match. Well, that fight should have been a great fight, but Andy. Okay. Yeah. Like, nothing gets you more excited than a good boxing match. Well, that fight should have been a great fight, but Andy fucked up.

Yeah. He really fucked up. And no plan. Afterwards, he was asking for a rematch. I'm pretty sure he trained himself, too, for that fight. Yeah, I think he did. Yeah. Well, he was, I know for a fact.

Why would he do all that? He was partying. Because he became the heavyweight champion of the world In an incredible knockout And I bet Everybody was kissing his ass And he bought a Rolls Royce He came to the podcast Oh yeah When he did the podcast

He came in a Rolls Royce Oh Yeah Woo Which doesn't necessarily mean You're going off the rails But it's a really good indication Yeah I mean

If he showed up In a fucking Caprice Classic I'd be like This guy's dialed in Yeah He's focused Yeah he's gonna get this one That's right He's got be like, this guy's dialed in. Yeah. He's focused. Yeah, he's going to get this one. That's right.

He's got an old cop car he's driving around in. No hubcaps. Shitty old bench seats and shit. Let's go get the championship. Yeah, he's Rocky Balboa. But he had his chance, and they're not going to give him another one. No? Because he can beat a lot of guys.

Yeah. But I don't know if he can sell a lot of pay-per-views, especially after that second performance. The problem with the second performance is the second performance was so piss poor that you're going to need multiple big wins in fights before people take you seriously again. Again. And he needs a real nutritionist. He really does.

Even though he won being fat, there was a lot of factors in that fight. Even though he won being fat, there was a lot of factors in that fight. One big factor that I have heard from people who are very knowledgeable and in the know, insiders, was that Anthony Joshua was hurt in training, that he got rocked and maybe even got KO'd when he was training. And not too distant from the fight, like two weeks out. Oh, really? Two weeks out from the fight, got KO'd. Yeah. Oh, really? Two weeks out from the fight got KO'd. Oh, that's not good.

When you're heavyweight and you're slinging those fucking gigantic fists at each other, all those guys need to do is catch each other once. Just once. Boom. Apparently it just happens all the time. There was a Russian heavyweight boxer who was just criticized because he showed this video of a sparring session where

he flatlines his trainer or his uh his sparring partner with one punch happens it happens all the time for the knockouts you see in the ring there's probably you know dozens more you'll never see with top fight top flight guys that are just you know they're bringing in guys like when Klitschko was the champion he brought in guys like Anthony Joshua to spar with. He brought in guys like Deontay Wilder. He sparred with Deontay Wilder. I didn't know that. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, these guys, they spar with killers. I love watching Deontay. It's exciting. It's like, at any moment, exactly like you said, at any moment it can happen, the fight can turn around. Deontay's a freak. Yeah. He's a freak.

Yeah. Freak of nature. Oh, so in what way? There's no one I've ever seen who can knock everyone out. Oh, and that's him. He knocks everyone out. Yeah. There's never been a guy.

If you look at his record, it's insane. It's not just the fact that he's won so many fights. He only has one decision loss. He has one draw with Tyson Fury. With Tyson Fury. And then the rest, he knocks people into orbit. Yeah. Every other fight. He has 40 knockouts. Yeah. With Tyson Fury. And then the rest, he knocks people into orbit. Yeah. Every other fight,

he has 40 knockouts in 40 wins. And that Cuban guy he just laid out, that guy was tough. Oh my God. And he hit him on the forehead. Yes.

And he hit him like this. Yes. It was like a short punch. He hits so hard, it doesn't even make sense. Yeah. Yeah. Ortiz went down.

Ortiz was tough. And he was down like, what in the fuck just happened? Yes. He hits people, and they have a look on their face like they can't even believe how hard he hits them. Yeah. That Dominic Brazil, that KO, like right after the Tyson Fury fight.

Oh, okay. Oh, my God. He's a murderer. Yeah. He's one of the most murderous puncher I've ever seen in the heavyweight division. So I think him and Fury are going to fight again. Yes. Yeah. In February. Next month. are going to fight again. Yes.

Yeah. In February. That's exciting. Next month. That's exciting. Yeah. Yeah. There it is. Oh, fantastic.

Tyson Fury's masturbating seven times a day to prep for a wilder rematch. He needs testosterone up, he said. That brings his testosterone up? That's what he says. That's what he said? Wow. I think it's just... Jesus Christ.

I think he's reading into that. Who was that fighter that used to drink his own urine? Lyoto Machida? It was a boxer. Oh, really? Yeah's just... Jesus Christ. I think he's reading into that. Who was that fighter that used to drink his own urine? Lyoto Machida? It was a boxer. Oh, really? Yeah, it was a boxer. A lot of people were doing that for a while. They thought urine therapy was supposed to...

That is not true, right, Joe? I know you're not a doctor, but... I am definitely a doctor, and it is true. And I want you to do it now. I drank my piss before. I tried it. Oh, come on! Tyson Fury on ways he's preparing for a while. I'm masturbating seven times a day to keep up my piss before. I tried it. Oh, come on! Tyson Fury on ways he's preparing for Wilder.

I'm masturbating seven times a day to keep up my testosterone pumping. Pump it. Pump it. Pump it. Pump it. Don't you know? I got to keep active and testosterone flowing for the fight. Don't want the levels to go down.

So I always thought having sex was bad for you before a fight. It's supposed to be. Yeah, your levels actually go up. Not that it's bad, but some people think you before a fight. It's supposed to be. Yeah, your levels actually go up. Not that it's bad, but some people think it's a distraction. Like Mike Tyson's view was, he said that he felt that sex was distracting. So he would have sex just so he didn't have to think about it.

Because if he didn't have sex, then he was just thinking about sex all the time. But when Tyson was in his prime, you got to also remember he's a really young guy. Like he was in his early 20s. Testosterone was through the fucking roof. You know, and the level of girls that were bombing on him. Yes.

Oh, my God. I mean, Robin Givens was beautiful. The most beautiful women in the world were trying to get some of that fucking gladiator dick. Woo! But I think for him, he really felt like sex was a distraction. And if he could just have sex, then he wouldn't think about it. I saw this play one time. It was written by Steve Martin.

And it was a fictitious meeting between Picasso and Einstein in a bar in France. It was called Picasso at the La Pile d'Ile. And in it, Picasso's painting and he's talking. And he says, an artist must stay well fucked otherwise his eye goes from the page to the windowsill down to the street across over to the cafe where the girl's sitting with her skirt up and and it's like you got that's what that i that always stuck with me yeah right if an artist doesn't stay well fucked, all he's going to do is think about getting laid. Yeah. Men will understand that,

but men will rarely say that in the presence of women. And so because of that, women either don't believe it or they dismiss it or they think you're a pig for expressing it. Right. All those things. But men alone, they'll go, oh yeah, that makes sense. Like if you say that, you got to stay well fucked like oh yeah of course you have to

otherwise you get fucking distracted it is true women have no idea i heard a thing on npr one time probably 15 years ago and they were doing a story about this uh woman who decided to transition to be a man and so she documented it and did like an audio thing and she talked about how when she was into it and started feeling her testosterone and she would become attracted to women and she goes it didn't have to be a boob it could be an elbow it could be her ankle it could be whatever and i and she goes i finally understood 13 year old boys yeah yeah yeah pretty fucking distracting isn't it? Yeah. And then you got to keep your shit together.

Well, it's not just that. It's a biological imperative. It's a reason why people breed. Right. It's like that's built into the DNA to make people attracted to females so they can spread their DNA. And that's what it is. It's that simple.

It's it. It's it. To deny that is crazy. But you've got It's it. It's it. Billy deny that. It's crazy. But you've got men denying it because they want women to like them. And then you got women dismissing it because they think that the men who express it in an honest way are pigs and sexist and they exhibit toxic masculinity, which is that's a hilarious expression because you need to thank toxic masculinity for all the bridges, all the fucking, all the jets, all the rockets, all this toxic masculinity. If you break down all the things that men have invented and all these toxic men have prevented you from being murdered in war and protected the country and all the different things that you could attribute to toxic masculinity. Most of it's positive.

Okay. Now I forgot what that is. I had this question. It's sitting in my head since you started talking about toxic masculinity and I fucking can't even get the word out. I can't even say it. I can't even fucking sovereignty. Toxic masculinity is a ridiculous thing to say.

There's terrible men. There's terrible human beings that happen to be men. There's also terrible human beings that happen to be men. There's also terrible human beings that happen to be women. There's not toxic femininity. They just have any women who developed in a terrible way, most likely with bad parents, most likely abuse, physical and or sexual, and then they become a monster at the end of all this process.

There's the same with men. Bad men are just bad human beings that happen to be men and when you see terrible things happen it's not because of toxic masculinity it's because it's a bad person i believe in the individual there's individuals and some of them are bad and some of them are good but you want to if you just want to generalize against all men like you're you're on an uphill road there's too many obviously not me i've never invented anything but there's too many things that men have done that are positive there's way too. There's too many, obviously not me, I've never invented anything, but there's too many things that men have done

that are positive. There's way too many. There's too many things. If you wanted to have like a scoreboard and you wanted to compete men versus women, what are you going to say

when you look at all the different accomplishments that men have made? And obviously it's not me and it's not you. I'm not talking about us, like that we're on a team, but I'm saying like just this concept that men are bad.

And you hear this a lot today, especially white men. I don't want to hear from white men. Okay, well, that's crazy because there's a lot of nice white men. This is dumb. Phil Donahue. Yeah, he's one of them. But just this idea that you can generalize about one entire group, whether it's by gender or whether it's by race,

by anything. But you can do that with white men. You can't really do that with brown women. You can't say, here's a problem with black women. All black women are this, that. People would go, you're a racist piece of shit. But if you say, here's a problem with white men. Both are gross.

Both statements, generalizations are disgusting whether they're a gender-based generalization or a sex-based general whatever it is so they would say that that's okay to say that about white men because of the power dynamic yes that white men have power so if we say that it doesn't it's not even racist right right that's what that's no i don't know i'm not a you know dumb argument i'm not that's, I don't know. I'm not a, you know, I'm not a professor, so I don't know if that's true or not. The white power, this is the thing. White men have more power, sure. But they also have more power than white men. It's a tiny percentage of white men who have the power that we're talking about CEOs and you're talking about judges, yes, white men are in those positions of power, but they're also in those positions of power over most white men. It's a very small amount of people that have an extraordinary amount of influence. When you say white men suck, look at this. No, that's the smallest percentage of people.

Who are these billionaires? Who are these CEOs? Who are these judges? Who are these people that are in positions of power that happen to be white men? So have you ever, now, again, I don't know. I heard a guy refer to himself, like a regular guy, refer to himself as a cis male. I'm going to do that from now on. Has anyone ever done that?

It kind of blew me away. I didn't even know what it was when I first heard it. Yeah, it's nonsense. You're a male. If you're a trans woman and you want to be referred to only as a woman, fine, no problem with that. But I'm not going to call myself a cis male. That's some new made-up shit.

It sounds like you're calling yourself a sissy. Sissy, yeah. When I first heard it, I thought that's what a guy was doing. When I first heard it, a guy said, I'm a cis male, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, you're a sissy? I didn't know what it meant. I read this tweet once by this person who

was saying, basically, to shame people into using that, ram it down their throats, and eventually they'll accept it, and it'll become normal. Because if they want to refer to us as trans, we to refer to them as cis we have to force them to refer to themselves as cis yes yes i don't even know that's where it came from it's to just to make a clear distinction so instead of making it look like a trans woman is lesser you say you instead of that you have cisgender and transgender so they're they're because you're you're adding to that name that prefix yeah because you're adding to both now

yeah now you've equalized the playing field you level the playing field but the problem with that is trans is extremely rare it's the reason why you have that prefix in the first place because it's really really unusual to meet a trans woman despite how the internet would have you feel. I was always, I'm sure it's a tough life to be a transgendered person, like incredibly tough. I was always a little jealous. No, you're not. Why don't you become a woman? I was always like, God, it looks like fun.

Why don't you dress up like Meghanain and just start going on rants on your show you'd be free you would have such a fucking free pass i mean look caitlin jenner kill the lady nobody even talks about it says anything no just slammed her into traffic not paying attention rear-ended her into oncoming traffic she's dead now and no one even brings it up everyone's like she's so. Do you think she's intact? I heard she cut it off. Oh, my God. Is it gone?

Yeah. I don't. But that was an accident, right? It wasn't like. It was a careless accident. But still, she rear-ended somebody and slammed her into oncoming traffic. Okay. And whether or not she was on her phone, I don't know.

Do you ever worry you're going to say something? I'm always worried. I'm ignorant. Like I said, I have big gaps in my knowledge of stuff. And so I remember I was, what was I talking about

the other day? And I got it totally wrong. Like I didn't know somebody from Jamaica that's also an African American. I didn't know that. Sure, because they came over from Africa to Jamaica. That's what I'm talking about, how dumb. I didn't know that. Sure, because they came over from Africa to Jamaica.

That's what I'm talking about, how dumb. I wouldn't say African-American. I mean, I guess once they came to America and they're American citizens, yeah, they're African-Americans. So I didn't, again, this is- A lot of Jamaicans refer to themselves as Jamaicans, though. The thing about Jamaicans is it's really unique how unique cultures are known for specific things that are very positive. Jamaicans are known for incredible work ethic. Yeah.

Jamaicans have multiple jobs. It's always a standup joke. Yeah. Yeah. In New York, there was always jokes about Jamaicans about, you know, that they would get mad at you if you had less than five jobs.

Oh, no kidding. Yeah. Jamaicans are known for being like very hustle oriented. Well, see, that's a New York thing. I mean,

the only thing I've ever heard about Jamaicans is the stereotype of pot and all that stuff. That too, that too, but they have a lot of jobs. Pot smokers having five jobs goes to show you it doesn't take away your ambition. They don't. It doesn't. That's nonsense.

Look, I smoke a lot of pot. I'm pretty ambitious. I work a lot. Do you ever, so I'll do a show, right, where I'm criticizing someone or something, and then I'll do a show, right, where I'm like criticizing someone or something, and then I'll smoke a joint afterwards to relax. And then I start second guessing everything I said. Yeah, of course.

Do you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, I feel better. We're talking shit. Yeah, I know. You know, I mean, I'm thinking about my poorly worded rant of male versus women. And I'm thinking like, well, I probably should have said that better. But that's just a part of how it works.

You know, what I was getting at from all of this, though, is that we have to look at each other as individuals. And this identity politics bullshit that people play, whether it's male versus female, whether it's black versus white and Asian and this and that, they have to be humans, humans first. They have to be humans, humans first. And one of the weirder things that's going on in Hollywood now is they're leaning so hard on diversity that it gets distracting. It's like it gets, like, I went to see, here's an example, I went to see Frozen, the musical. Frozen is about a Nordic, there's Nordic people, one girl has magic. Did you ever see it? You don't have kids. No, I don't.

In the play, in the musical, the dad is black and the mom's chinese which is like okay maybe she's asian i don't know maybe she's korean i don't know it's hard to tell i can't see that good i'm 52 okay pretty far away but she was obviously asian and then they have a kid and then the young version of the kid is asian and then the old version of the kid later in the musical is white i'm like you're distracting the fuck yeah that's distracting you distract the fuck out of me but how does a black guy and an asian lady make two two blonde ladies like what's happening here or one has red hair how'd that happen how did the black guy and the chinese lady make a blonde? Are you,

I guess, like, don't you go continuity. They're just, it's, it's distracting. The guy, they were,

he was great in his role. She was great in her role. They were excellent. It worked. I accepted it and I moved on, but I know what you're doing. You know, if you had a white guy playing a black guy in a movie,

I'd be like, what is happening here? Why is this white guy pretending to be a black guy? This is, this is, are we going to address this? Like if there was a musical and there was a guy and we decided, we'll just have a white guy play the,

uh, the father of, uh, you know, some, some black guy. And we're just not going to say why he had a kid that was black. We just assume that you'll figure it out or just,

you just, you know, yeah, that's, that breaks the fourth wall. It breaks your you what is distracting i'm suspending my disbelief and then you're doing things to make me disbelieve it's distracting it's distracting but i i i understand you understand what they're doing i appreciate it yeah because i think ultimately what it is is it's all all of it is moving in the right direction it's just doing it in a very

clunky way they're moving against discrimination they're moving against racism they're moving for cultural diversity beautiful but it's just distracting the way they're doing it is so odd but it's like hollywood is so gross they lick their finger they have no virtue they lick their finger like which way the wind blowing? This way? We need Asians. And then they'll just fucking just start hiring Asians for things and trying to get Asian people jobs

and try to, look, look, look, look, we have Asians. We're really, and then if it becomes Jamaicans, Jamaicans! We need Jamaicans. Get them in here.

Get them in here. They don't give a fuck. They're trying to make money. They're trying to make money and one of the best ways to make money is to ride cultural trends. And so, our cultural trend right now is a good one even though there's a lot of people that are they're they're basically they're controversy pimps right so when these things come

up they use this controversy to gain money or notoriety or push their cause or to use it as the wind behind their sail so they can talk a lot of shit about other people and get a lot of attention it gives them a bit of immunity yes it gives them a lot of immunity yeah and so like all these things we were talking about of course yeah how have you experienced it i've had people accuse me of being sexist i've had that we already established that you were sexist i well course I am Because I treat women equally Yes that's the problem You know I was sexist because I voted for Jill Stein

Well anybody that says you're sexist For making fun of Elizabeth Warren dancing Is a fucking buffoon and that's a perfect example Of what I'm talking about Like are you saying that a person running for The commander in chief of the greatest army the world has ever known And you can't make fun of the way they dance Because they have a vagina

Fuck you I am woman hear me roar just don't make fun of the way they dance because they have a vagina. Fuck you. I am woman. Hear me roar. Just don't make fun of my dancing. Or my roars. My roar is like, rah! Again, it's like the – I thought the answer to this was to treat everybody equally.

Yes. That's how it should be. Identity politics, the real problem with it, of course, always, is that you cannot ever say, this is a man, so he must be that. This is a woman, so she must be that. This is a black person, so they must be this. Those generalizations are bad for everybody. People are nuanced. And if we don't believe in the individual, then we don't really believe in equality. Everyone has to have their own way to make it through this life and express themselves in a unique way where they can contribute in a unique way and we can appreciate them for who they are not appreciate them as a woman or appreciate them as a man or as a white man or

a black woman or what that's nonsense it's so dumb like you happen you might happen to be a a black man or you might happen to be an asian man you might happen to be an Asian man. You might happen to be all those things. But you're a person. You're a fucking individual. And we should, especially when it comes to meritocracy things like positions of power in government, like get elected officials or even comedians or anything else. You want to make sure that the person who's this is they're good so they're just good there's yes so there's that yeah but then there's there's also this other

little part of it like so even someone who say doesn't have the pedigree like there's a white guy from harvard right he has the straight a's the greatest whatever and then you might get a a minus student who's a minority or a B-plus student, and that would be more effective to have in a position because they have a different world experience. So a meritocracy, in a sense, kind of leaves out some people who have different hurdles to get over and have different life experiences that this person won't have. You know, see what I'm saying? Like, you become the people you're surrounded by. So you might be an African-American, but – or – so it's more important to have different economic represented.

Because you can be really smart, like Chelsea Clinton, but she doesn't know what it's like to have to have her medicine. She doesn't know what it's like to have to drop a pharmacy to get medicine for her daughter. You know what I mean? It's like she might be super smart, but she doesn't have this information that we need, which is like when FDR, when he was doing the banks and stuff, he got a banker from Texas. He didn't go to Wall Street. You know what I mean? He got regular people to come in.

So there's something to that too, right? So it's not just a straight meritocracy. Well, it is a meritocracy in that there's merit in their life experiences. Oh, okay. We put it that way. These individuals that live these difficult lives, look, I think that's one of the greatest currencies that a person really carries with them in their life is their experience overcoming adversity.

Their experience overcoming adversity shapes their character. And when you meet someone, I mean, maybe you meet this woman and she has all Bs through college, but she's been through a lot of shit and she's uniquely clever in how she handles things. And you talk to her and you look at her record and you go, you know what, I like you better than this guy who got all As because he seems kind of like spectrum-y and he's not going to fit in with my company. But yeah, that makes sense but that again we're just you don't just look at meritocracy you don't just look at grades you look at the human overall the individual and there's a lot of benefit to people that have overcome difficult lives like those people come out interesting those people come out important because they they've they've seen some shit that you haven't seen. Yes, that is what, and they understand things that you don't understand.

Yes, yes. And that's why like sort of like a guy like Barack Obama could have a diverse cabinet, but they're all from the same class. Right. Right, but that's fake diversity, right? That's fake diversity. Right. Yes.

So they're all, he still, he served, he served the establishment power like any white president did. And his cabinet did the same thing. By the way, his cabinet came from an email from Citigroup, which I know, you know. part of the problem with any of these conversations and also they're so loaded. When you talk about men or women or black or white or anything, like everybody's on edge. Like, don't say anything stupid. How do you feel really? Well, I'm white, so I don't have those experiences, so I always try to limit how I talk about it. Like I always say I shouldn't be talking about this because I don't have...

You should be talking about anything you want to talk about. This idea that you should be silenced because you're not in some protected group, that's nonsense. I'm always afraid I'm going to say something ridiculous and ignorant, which I do often say. Yeah, me too. I'm going to say ignorant, ridiculous shit. You have to have the ability to say ignorant, ridiculous shit If you're going to have a free flowing conversation Like you and I

We didn't even talk on the phone before this We had no idea what we were going to talk about We didn't do a pre-interview Nothing We did nothing We come in and we start rattling Can you imagine if we did a pre-interview It would be hilarious

We just started talking about farts Blowjobs Cigars It would be ridiculous Fucking pre-interview What do you want to talk about Jimmy? I don't know I fucking.

Yeah. It would most certainly be ridiculous. I would jack it off seven times a day to keep my testosterone up. Let's talk about that. Yeah. Get it. Get it. Get it.

Pre-interviews. They still do pre-interviews. By the way, do you ever watch any of those shows ever? No one does. Very few people are watching those shows. I mean, Conan O'Brien get less views than my show. No, I know. It's sad. that's why they're all doing podcasts now no one's watching that fucking show

there was a crazy article that Conan O'Brien is leading the way oh my god in new media yes like what are you talking about we've been doing this shit for 15 years bitches and this what the fuck he doesn't even get good numbers on his podcast.

No? No. Like, the actual downloads, I mean, he does all right, but he doesn't do as good as, like, Dax Shepard or me or any of the people that are at the top of the heap in comedy. Well, you know, you use your platform, Joe, to actually have real conversations and say things. I haven't listened to Conan Bryan's podcast because, you know, I've got anything else to do, but...

He's interviewing famous people. Yeah. It's fucking the same bullshit, and it's not... I mean, hey, Marc Maron's got that covered, right? He did that. He's been doing it for 10 fucking years. That's right. People opened up to their heart.

So he has this thing, and then you do this other thing. It's fucking covered. You aren't breaking any new... That was crazy. That was a New York Times headline, wasn't it, Joe? I think it was variety. Or was it variety? any new that was crazy. That was a New York Times headline, wasn't it, Joe? I think it was Variety. I think it was Variety. And everybody in Hollywood was like, what in the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, yeah. And what was funny too, yeah. I got tagged on it so many times, I'm like, I'm not even going to comment, because I can't. It's Conan O'Brien, he's revolutionizing. Yeah, he's changing the game. He's changing the game! Because they had a photo shoot. Yeah. He's a white male. He's changing the game! Because he had a photo shoot. Yeah, he's a white male.

For variety. He's a problem. He is a cis male. He's another one of those white men at the top of podcasting. It's bullshit. Yeah, I don't know if he's at the top of podcasting. I wouldn't say that. All of it.

It's just gross. Did you ever do his show? No. Yeah, I did his show before. A couple times. They all seem like nice people. He's a nice guy. He seems like...

They all seem like very nice people. I feel bad when I go after them on Twitter. I go after Andy Richter all the time. Of course you do. I go after Andy Richter all the time. Why do you go after Andy Richter? I can tell he's a nice guy. I know he is.

Why do you go after him? Well, because he's famous, right? And he's a white male. And he's a white male. He's a real problem. So it's very safe for me to go after him. But there's this Hollywood mentality on the left. Right.

And this Hollywood mentality on the left is that all bad things started in January 2017. They have no idea how we got there. So he's tweeting out this stuff about how Trump is has the cognition of an eight year old. Right. Because he wants to do war crimes. And so what you know how great can you believe this guy? I'm like, did they've been fucking doing war crimes since I was born. Why are you acting like this just started?

We don't ever prosecute them, and they're not going to prosecute him for war crimes. Why are you fucking doing that? You know what war criminals do? They go and dance with Ellen on daytime television. That's the cognition of Hollywood. Michelle Obama says George Bush and her have the exact same values. A war criminal! She has the

exact same, that's the cognition of a fucking first lady. We're going to talk about cognition, how we fucking got here, and you're smarter than that, Andy Richter, and that's why I hold his feet to the fire. I know he's a nice guy. But he gets locked into that team mentality. It's all team.

It's all fucking vote blue no matter who. It's all forget how we got here. Let's forget that Barackack obama was unbelievably corrupt which is why we don't have a functioning banking system which is why we don't have a functioning health care system which we why he took us from two wars to seven which is why he had a peace prize and a fucking kill list where's my kill list oh maybe it's underneath my peace prize i use it as a paperweight kind of ironically anyway these are the things that i try to focus on joe and by the way i was right about all of them yes and i was right about fucking

russia gate you were but the beautiful thing i come out here and do a victory lap yet you should you should spin around your chair the thing about you though is like you are a left-wing guide that's willing to criticize the left and for some people that seems to be a problem taboo thing like they don't want to talk about the left oh you can't i'm first of all so i found out that uh people who want to make it in the democratic party are not allowed to come to my shows no so i was doing a show and this woman who i know who was involved in democratic politics i kind of want to say anything about who they are because they'll get in trouble and so she came to my show and she goes you know this other person who's climbing in the democratic party was supposed to come with me and at the last minute

She didn't and I called her I said why don't you come and she goes, you know If I get seen at a Jimmy Dore show my career in the Democratic Party's over. Oh, it's Kamala Harris I could tell by your accent you racist piece of shit. I could tell couldn't you tell Jamie I could tell and I'm like that She has she ever been on your show? Kamala Harris? Yes Oh must be her Oh we did some quick Easy FBI work right there

So anyway That made me feel good That makes me feel good I want to be an outsider I don't want I want people to be afraid of me They're afraid of you now Well

I don't know if they are But they won't come on my show So that's good And by the way My show was never about guests My show was all about my opinion Of course And calling out bullshit Yeah So it's not that's nobody doing the right thing you're doing i'm doing the wrong thing because they all keep asking to be on my show oh okay

i've had requests from all of them really oh yeah biden warren how do you how do you resist that shit because i'm gonna have my friends i'd rather talk to my friends yeah i know i would i get it i like tulsi and I like Bernie. That's it. Oh, yeah? Everybody else can eat shit. Look at you, fucking progressive. Yeah.

Well, I've always been. Yeah. What? Yeah. Everyone says you're a right winger. They're out of their fucking mind. I've never voted right wing in my life. Really?

Never. Never. I voted Democrat except for Independent. And I voted for Gary Johnson because he did my podcast. People don't realize how powerful. Yeah, I'm not right-wing at all. Oh, okay. That's wild.

No, there's nothing about me that's right-wing. You kill your own food. That's it. Well, that's crazy. 95 plus percent of the population of the planet eats meat. I just happen to kill my own. Yeah, that's it. It's not like 95% of the population is right-wing happen to kill my own yeah that's it so it's not like 95 of the

population is right wing because they kill their own food i i think there's a lot of right wing like family values and things like that that i admire i think but when when you can't when it gets to homophobia when it gets to women's rights that's where i break right i i'm a hundred percent in favor of women's rights a hundred percent in favor of gay rights, gay marriage. I'm a big proponent of there's got to be some new action taken to clean up a lot of these crime-ridden communities. And the idea that we can spend all this money overseas, but we can't spend money on Flint, Michigan or Detroit or the south side of Chicago, that to me is insane. That doesn't make any sense. And this idea that we're all on the same starting page is so fucking stupid too.

That is a very non-right-wing way of looking at it because everybody's like, you've got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. There's a lot of people that came out of bad neighborhoods, but they didn't fucking cry, woe is me. They just went out there and they kicked ass. That's nonsense. You have no idea what it's like to grow up in a crime-ridden, poverty-infested, drug-addled neighborhood. You don't know what that's nonsense you have no idea what it's like to grow up in a crime-ridden poverty infested

drug addled neighborhood you don't know what that's like and we should make it so that no one knows what that's like if we want america better the best way to start is to clean up all the spots that suck and make people that are coming out of there have a real chance and making something out of their life don't don't have it so that they're starting out from the time they're a child with a massive deficit. That, to me... And what you mean by cleaning up the place? I mean community programs, putting money into these communities.

Jobs. Jobs. Not just jobs, but community programs where kids have a safe place to go. That's a big part of it. Protect them from the gangs. Put more cops in those neighborhoods and have them there all the time. Make them a part of it Protect them from the gangs Put more cops in those neighborhoods And have them there all the time Make them a part of the community

They've got to do something about the violence And do something about the gangs And this repetitive cycle Of people growing up in these neighborhoods And getting trapped in these same horrible conditions That their parents did or their grandparents did And it's an endless cycle And we pretend like we don't have the resources to fix these.

FDR did. FDR went and gave it. You want a job? I'll give you a job. That means you're going to go work. I'm not giving you anything. You're earning it. And guess what?

We have the money for it. Wouldn't that be amazing if they did that? There could be strategies that are implemented that might not all work. But I don't feel like anything is doing it. We're going to have enterprise zones yeah obviously that does and then and then they want the school to fix all the problems of the community no what you need is jobs what people need is something to look forward to they need to know that they if they do play by the rules they will get things you can have a job right now those people work and they don't have any health care right and they get

broken their life goes upside down i mean you know how I have a job, but I got sick. My life got turned upside down because of bills. And this is not just black communities either. We're talking about the coal mining communities in West Virginia. West Virginia, exactly. It's horrific, man. You don't even, like, I have a good friend who's from there. He's like, man, you don't know what poverty is like.

You don't even know what poverty is like until you see that. These people have nothing. I talked to a guy on my show his name is nick smith from virginia and he told me he was a waffle house cook and he told me and i might even told you this before he said hey we all knew that donald trump was a loudmouth yankee who should have had his ass kicked a long time ago but hillary clinton wasn't offering us anything so he was at least offering us something right so they're desperate these people need something. She wouldn't even sign on to a $15 minimum wage when she was running.

What the fuck's wrong with you? Yeah, well, she didn't even believe in gay marriage until 2013. How about that? 2000 fucking 13 is when she came around with gay marriage. Get the fuck out of here. You were ahead of her on that, weren't you, Joe? Well, I actually lived in San Francisco around gay people when I was real little. Really? I was like 7 to 11.

My family lived right off of Lombard Street. No kidding. Yeah, we lived in San Francisco in the height of the, I mean, it was the Vietnam War. There's all these hippies. My stepdad's a hippie. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. So it's like, I mean, I've been liberal my whole life.

I just look like a Republican. You know? Yeah, I think that's it. And you like beating the shit out of people. Well, I like some violent things, and I have guns, and there's a lot of things that you could make an inference. Like, oh, that guy seems like he would be. But no, I... My friend Graham Elwood is... Do you know him?

Sure. He was on his live stream the other day, and he's very anti-war like me. And so these people were fucking with him to be pro-war. And he's like, that's right, I'll knock you out. That's right. You ever been knocked out by a vegetarian? Like, that should be a t-shirt. That's hilarious.

You ever been knocked out by a vegetarian? That's hilarious. Well, that's another group that people like to play identity politics with. What are you eating? You know, how much of that is... So you with the meat. with the meat so my doctor dr sharp so now you have a special bone problem dr sharp from pasadena that's right that's the holy shit yeah i should have said that i would have been on it man so he tells me yes he always does this like this right he goes now jimmy you're from chicago you eat meat right you eat deep dish pizza, right? That's what he says to me.

And I go, yeah, I'm trying not to. And he goes, why? I go, you know, global warming. I saw cows jumping like dogs. I feel bad. That video of them bouncing around, yeah. I can't eat pork anymore. Just get it.

I just can't eat pork anymore. Pork is shady. I can't eat pork anymore. Just get it. I just can't eat pork anymore. Pork is shady. I can't do it. But wild pigs must be stopped. Oh, they can kill you, right? Boars, wild boars? They killed a lady in Texas and ate her. They found her, an elderly lady, they found her in her driveway, torn apart by wild pigs.

She was on her way out to the car and she just ran into a pack of them and they took her out. A pack? Yeah. Yeah, I've seen videos. Those things are... They have to kill them. There's so many of them and they breed so quickly.

They have four in a litter. They'll have four litters in a year. Really? Yeah. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. That's why there's millions and millions of wild pigs. They started with just a few pigs that were on like the Pinta or the Santa Maria or some shit.

And they spread across the entire country. But once you find out that they have emotions. Yes, that's a problem. That's what I can't handle. I can't do that. They have emotions. That's why you shoot them from a distance. You don't want to get up close.

So your theory is they don't know it's coming. No. Well, that is a good way to do it. But what if you kill their mother? What if you have a pig and then you kill the pig's mother? You don't do that if you're an ethical hunter. You don't shoot a pig that has piglets. Yeah.

You try to avoid that. Unless- What about a deer? The only time they do- They don't do that either. That's illegal. Oh. The only time they do do that, though, in some places, it's illegal.

The only time they do do that with pigs is when they're trying to eradicate all of them. There's some farmlands that experience just devastating losses because of wild pigs. Especially in Texas. Millions and millions of dollars a year, which cripples these companies. They go under because of wild pigs. Some farms can literally go bankrupt. Oh my God. You have no idea what it's like unless you've been around them.

But what about pig farming? That's a different thing. Most pig farming is disgusting i can't it's horrible but then there's there's ethical pig farms where they raise these pigs where they get let them roam around and the meat looks different because they're eating acorns and natural food really yeah there's a guy named uh joel salatin and he runs this uh farm called polyms, and he's all about regenerative farming. And he discusses how the way animals live best is the way they live naturally. And chickens are supposed to roam free. So he has this portable chicken house, and they roll it into a new field.

And then the chickens go into the chicken house at night. And then in the morning, they come out, and then they go roam around, and they move it to another spot. So they eat all the bugs and all the grass and all the stuff in the area, and then they move to a new spot. And so they raise chickens, and the eggs are healthier, the pigs, the pork is healthier. These pigs are wandering around in these open areas, and then they corral them, and then they kill them quickly. these open areas and then they corral them and then they then they kill them quickly i just once i found out you know they have real emotions like dogs i just think about my dog and yeah i just i

just fall apart i can't i hear you but but wild pigs are different yeah that's different because they're an invasive species you know they actually morph they change shape when they become like a wild pig and a domestic pig is the same animal like when people talk about oh a russian wild boar this is all nonsense it's all su scroffa it's all one genus it's the same animal really yeah when a wild when a pig a domestic pig goes wild i mean there's different versions of them but they can all breed with each other when a domestic pig goes wild like say if you had a domestic pig and you said go ahead porky be free and you open up your gate within weeks within weeks they start to physically

change their snout starts to lengthen their hair gets thicker and bushier and their tusks grow no kidding yes they literally become what you think of when you think of wild boars it just takes a while but they they fit they're they're one of the weirder animals. They're almost like gremlins when you feed them after midnight. When you let them go, they start changing. They morph. So Dr. Sharp says to me from Pasadena, he says, well, you should eat meat.

And I'm like, because of my condition, right? And he tells this long story about how we evolved he sits down and starts telling me and about how we were cavemen and inside the glaciers and the thing and he's like so you should eat meat especially you because of your condition and i go okay well how often and he goes every day and i was like jesus i can't do that you know and so but this is medical advice from a guy who saved my life, right? So it's like I eat meat a couple times a week. Do you feel better or worse when you eat it?

I do have more energy. Yeah, well, that's probably good, right? Yeah, I know it. Why don't you eat meat more often? Just because of conscience. You don't have to eat pork. I know. If you eat humanely raised meat. So there's grass fed

that kind of shit. Yeah, you can buy grass fed, grass finished meat from farmers that have a commitment to humanely raised and humanely euthanized animals. I won't say euthanized, killed animals. And the way they kill them when they harvest them, they just lead them into a pen. They have no idea what's

coming. They put a bolt to their head and bang, they take them out. It can be done in a way pen. They have no idea what's coming. They put a bolt to their head and bang, they take them out. It can be done in a way where the animal has no idea what happens until it's over. And it's not like they're going to live forever. I mean, obviously, this is a slippery argument because you say that about people too, right? This guy's an asshole. Let's just kill him. It's not like he's going to live forever.

You don't want to say that But the quality of the meat Is far better If the animal is living a natural life You're talking about organic No hormones No antibiotics No corn man That shit's terrible for cows

They're not supposed to eat that They're ruminants They eat fucking grass That's what they do When they're at their best and healthiest And healthiest for you There's better fatty acids in it It's just healthier for you

And so you think if you went vegetarian It would be bad for your health? I don't know I don't think I think it's definitely doable I definitely think you can go vegetarian And be healthy But you have to be really careful about a lot

of your nutrient levels. You have to really make sure you get enough vitamin D, a lot of B12. You've got to check your essential fatty acid levels. There's a lot of stuff that looks real good on paper but then you find out it's not bioavailable. I tried to go vegan for a while and I got

fat. Well, it's a lot of carbs. Yeah, I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't doing it right, whatever. I don't like soy. Why don't you like soy? I like tofu. I don't fucking like that. Just something about it.

Did you fuck with any of that vegan chicken stuff or any of those weird ones that make them look like real food? There's a name for that. Oh, no, no, but that fake meat they have now is fantastic. It's really bad for you, though. Do you know that? It actually causes liver problems in rats. What? Yeah, pull up fake meat, liver problems, rats.

No. Yeah, look, it's all oils. So that stuff is all processed food oils. It's processed vegetable oils. And that's bad? Yeah, just eat fucking vegetables, man. If you want to be a vegetarian eat vegetables look most there's a lot of people that would say a regular burger is not

good for you either but of course a regular burger is just meat with bread and all the bullshit the bread and all the bullshit is what's bad for you it's not the burger itself as long as it's an actual meat burger particularly if it's a grass-fed burger. So what is he pulling up? He's pulling up this study about one of them. Beyond meat, the fake meat? One of them. Impossible burger, beyond meat, one of them. But they were talking about how there's studies that are showing that this is not. But again, they're not marketing it as a healthy alternative.

No. They're marketing it as a meat-free burger. Right. And burger is kind of like a fun food anyway. Here it is. Rat feeding studies suggest the Impossible Burger may not be safe to eat. L-O, fucking L. Oh, wow.

But if you go to the ingredients, man, I've had scientists relay the ingredients to me. I thought it was just coconut oil. Oh, it's a bunch of fucked up stuff, because they've got to make it seem like it's a real burger. Heme is that thing that makes it taste like it. It's called heme. Heme iron. Something like that. That's what gives it that flavor that people are looking for. How are they getting that? I don't know where they get that from. Soylent green.

Is that good? Is it people, Joe? It's people. It's people. That sucks. That sucks. So you don't think you'll ever stop eating meat? You think you'll always you're like animals are here for us to eat and that's... So you don't think you'll ever stop eating meat? You think you'll always... You're like, animals are here for us to eat, and that's that. I don't think that. I think we definitely evolved.

The human animal evolved from eating meat. And that's not under debate. I mean, we evolved from eating meat. And weirdo vegans will try to say crazy shit like, oh, why don't we have canines? How come we can't eat meat raw? Well, because, asshole, we figured out fire a long fucking time ago, and our bodies adapted because of that. shit like oh why don't we have canines how come we can't eat meat raw well because asshole we figured out fire a long fucking time ago and our bodies adapted because of that our teeth adapted because we figured out how to cut things with utensils and we figured out how to cook things

so they're more tender it's it's not as simple as like why do we have an appendix why is that i'll tell you why because we used to eat differently and we still have a leftover organ some weird fucking organ from for breaking down bark and shit you know we used to eat differently And we still have a leftover organ Some weird fucking organ From breaking down Bark and shit You know We don't need that anymore We don't need bark anymore

Is that what Yeah it's like roots and stuff Like Oh really Yeah I think That's what the appendix is for I think it was initially For breaking down

Like very hard To digest Fibrous things So I have My gallbladder out Whoa What did you do with it? You gonna put it back in? Yeah I'm thinking about it I have my gallbladder out. Whoa. What did you do with it? You going to put it back in?

Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I have it in my glove box. What happened? No, I was having gallbladder attacks. I thought it was a heart attack. Whoa. Where's a gallbladder? I don't even know where that is.

It was like right here. Oh, Jesus. And I always heard like your heart attack feels like it's in the center. But this was a little lower. I'm like, this is a heart attack. I'm dying. This is no doubt I'm dying. Oh, no. I thought for sure I was dying little lower i'm like this is a heart attack i'm dying this is no doubt i'm dying i thought for sure i was dying so i'm on the couch and i remember i'm just like this is my wife calls the fireman and i'm just like this is it this is how it's going to happen

i i was kind of okay with it right but i wasn't because i was in a lot of pain i wanted it to end i was like okay if i die i die but then they came and they shot me and i was like oh i feel fantastic again so it wasn't It was just my gallbladder They took it out What does it do? The gallbladder secretes bile Into your stomach to help digest things

So gallbladder would be like For bile when your liver makes bile It's like your reservoir So now I don't have a reservoir anymore So now it just is always kind of dripping Does it fuck with you anymore? You know it's fucked with me a lot In lots of different ways

Yeah my appetite is Gets weird when you get nervous? It doesn't come It doesn't come on slowly It just bam So that's why you had to eat when you were on stage like that So that happened Oh that makes sense

So that and then often Often After I eat I have to go to the bathroom right away right away yeah i don't know ever since i had my gallbladder i don't know if other people have that i haven't googled it now was there any alternative to getting it removed did they say hey maybe you could change your diet i was not given a alternative there was so there's you have like calcium and deposits in your thing and they block the duct. And then that's what causes all the pain. And so eventually it'll dislodge itself, and the pain will go away.

But it could kill you if it stays and doesn't go away. And so they have to take it out. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And guess what? So here's a great story about our medical system, right? So I have Blue Cross insurance. I have the best that you could buy or what have you.

And so I had my second gallbladder attack, and I was like, I got to get this goddamn thing out because I can't have this happen again. It hurts too much, right? So I called the doctor, and they're like, I can't even get a consultation for three weeks in network. So I have to get a consultation. Then I have to wait another three or four weeks to get a so i have to get a consultation then i have to wait wait another three or four weeks to get the operation so this could maybe be two months before i get the operation of these attacks and i'm gonna have another goddamn attack so i went out of network and i got another doctor to come take care of me faster so i couldn't have to worry about this

so i had to pay out of pocket god damn yes had to pay out of pocket. Goddamn son of a bitch. So this whole thing, you're going to have to wait. You have to fucking wait right now. Yeah. It's ridiculous why you act like that. No, it's true. It is true. It is true. I have friends in Canada. It's way worse up there, though.

About waiting? Yeah. I had a friend. She needed a knee operation. They waited a fucking year. So for a whole year, she's walking around with a torn ACL. Really? A fucked up knee.

Yeah. A whole year. A year. 12 months. 365 days. Just hobbling around. Do you know anybody in Canada that would trade their healthcare plan for a United States healthcare plan? No, they don't want to pay for it.

Once you don't have to pay for it, you don't want to pay for it. You know, there's a great video where this guy interviews people in England and he asks them, how much do you think it costs to be married? I saw it. To have a baby. To have a baby. And they're like, $100? Try $10,000. He's like, what? What he's like what yeah i saw this yeah everybody freaks out everybody freaks out yeah well once you're used to things being free you don't want to pay for them i don't look i think

health care should be free i really do i think education should be free i think if we're going to spend money as a community if we have a gigantic community of people and that's what a country really is that's it it's a community what is the most important gigantic community of people, and that's what a country really is, right? That's it. It's a community. What is the most important thing to take care of? Well, we've got to take care of old people, sick people. We've got to take care of poor people. We've got to take, like, the idea that somehow or another

that this is a foolish notion, that you have to take care of people, that education, it wouldn't be better if more people were educated? Yeah. So why shouldn't that be free? Well, we don't have the money, but have how much money how much 131 extra billion they gave trump that'd be a lot of education yeah a lot of people learn shit that way yeah

that's almost that's double the money it would take to send everybody to college for free that's hilarious 65 billion dollars a year to send everybody to college they just spent 131 billion to give give to him that's double right i'm not a math surgeon, but I'm pretty sure that's double. Math surgeon. I think if we figured out a way to, you know. You know, Ari Shaffer says the same stuff. Yeah. I was just on his show and he was saying, we got to take care of homeless people.

I'm like, I thought you were a right winger. Oh, he's not right wing at all. I guess not. Ari's very left wing. Why'd you think everybody was right wing? Because we talk shit? I don't know. I just hear shit, you know, on social media or whatever.

Oh, those idiots they just think because i've talked to alex jones or because i've had you know right wing people on that you know oh you're platforming people joe yeah i've been friends with alex jones since the 90s i've known that guy forever joe when i went in uh that never tell you this story when you spit in his face so when so when the iced teas accidentally i got uh so um so whatever first i didn't think that would be that big of a deal wow that turned out to be a big deal right right so then whatever so then the next day i talked to some people from his show and we were all friends right but not him and so i went down like a couple months later to do uh austin so i go to this the steakhouse right

there i forget it's the name it's the big place right it's right across the street from the West End and so I'm there my brother came down for the weekend my brother and his wife

and we're all sitting there we're eating and all of a sudden my brother goes Alex Jones just walked in he's sitting right behind you I go get the fuck out of here he's gonna come

beat me up I thought he was gonna come and my brother gets up this way and he's like I'm friends with Joe Rogan but my brother's a big guy right

so all my brothers are bigger than me and tough too right and so I was like alright well if you see him coming this way you gotta

let me know so he's back and he goes he just sat down he shook hands with this guy three times I go

oh it sounds like they're up to something I go and we were luckily we like they're up to something. I go, and luckily we were finishing. And I was like, okay, I'm going to finish and I'm going to walk the fuck out of here. That's hilarious. Just get out of here, slick. He could crush me.

He wouldn't. You would be able to talk to him. He's a lot more reasonable than people think he is. Especially now. Now he's not drinking anymore. Oh, really? Yeah, he's been off booze for um shit i want to say many many months now yeah it's been quite a while he has no drinking he's changed who he's he's realized he was losing his fucking mind he's getting deplatformed he was drinking a like a bottle bottle a half of vodka every night.

Yeah, he was going hard. Stressful times. I can understand why people do shit like that. And when you do drink that much, you do get psychotic. Like you start- Dude, I love drinking and I can't, I don't drink like I used to anymore because- Well, you get older too.

Your body can't process it right anymore. I wake up the next day, I'm depressed. Yeah. Yep. I love drinking martinis during a live show. I go back and... And the next day, you're like, oh. Next day, I'm like, oh, everything's wrong. Everything's bad. I'm this...

But you know what a lot of that is? A lot of it is not just the alcohol. It's also the dehydration. Oh, yeah? If you just hydrate and take a lot of electrolytes... You think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can mitigate a lot of that stuff. Also, glutathione. Glutathione can help your body process alcohol quicker. Glutathione?

Glutathione, yeah. It's an antioxidant, super potent antioxidant. Yeah, it actually, your body produces it and aids in the process of processing alcohol. I didn't know that. Yeah, it can help you a little bit. Give you a little boost. I did drink in Hawaii. They have Mai Tais.

I bet you did. Those fucking Mai Tais, bet you did Man I loved them I couldn't stop drinking them They taste so good Yeah that's the problem When things are delicious But yet also get you fucked up Alcohol

Yeah But I wasn't driving anywhere I didn't have to do anything So it was alright There used to be a place In West Palm Beach Improv And downstairs

They had one of those Alcoholic Slurpee places Oh no You know those things Yes And they taste fucking delicious Yes And they had one of those alcoholic slurpee places. Oh, no. You know those things? Yes. And they taste fucking delicious. And they had one of them called Call a Cab.

And you would drink it. It was like, I drank one on stage once and by the end of the show, I was like, thank God the show ended the way it did because I forgot how to talk. Really? Oh my God, I was so sloshed. By the time the show was over,

I was one glass. I mean, one like, it was like a big gulp sized call a cab. I don't know how many drinks were in this one. How many shots were there?

Like seven shots or something? Fuckload. But it's like a giant mix, right? Yeah. So it's just like 7-Eleven Slurpees. Yeah. It all comes out. I got a lot of sugar in it.

Oh, all sugar. But it tastes good. It tastes good and you get fucked up. Yeah. I've never been that fucked up on stage. There was a time when I was going through a phase where I dropped my pants on stage. Oh, you stopped doing that?

I did. People start to complain. Why? I don't know. I'm like, this is the oldest comic gig in the fucking thing. This is the gag. You drop your pants. I'm Jerry Lewis.

It's funny. Did you have underwear on? Yeah. Oh, no. underwear on yeah oh no yeah ari pulls his hog out not anymore i think he's scared now can you do that isn't that illegal still kill you pull your hog out he pulled his hog out at uh skank fest in new york they had a you know skank fest i'm again i'm not familiar you gotta get in the loop i know i'm out of it i did a few weeks ago i killed you? I killed Tony, yeah. You pulled this hog out again? Yeah, right before he was here. Right before maybe Tony was here one of the times.

Where was it? Mainstage. Oh, in the comic store? Yeah, yeah. Well, probably shouldn't say that. That could probably be a problem. What was embarrassing? It was illegal. Well, I used to do it, Joe.

It's a fake rubber dick. Don't worry about it, folks. I used to do it. You used to pull your dick out? Yeah, and then nobody noticed that I was embarrassing. I get it. I get it. It's a joke. Yeahe just sometimes i do jokes all right i you know what am i here my father no it's okay it's all fine it's all fine ari uh has always done ridiculous shit he

used to go on stage with his balls out of his pants and how to dress it so he'd go on stage and do his act and what he would do is he would just unzip his pants, pull his sack out, and then just have only his sack hanging out while he was on stage. Who did it at the store where there was like someone on stage

putting the bombing and he has Joey behind him? There was a woman on stage. She was terrible. Like one of the worst comics that's ever done comedy. And this one night she was killing.

I mean fucking killing. And this is why. When she would hit a punchline, Joey was hiding behind the stage and he was naked. And he'd go, and then he would close the curtains. And so she would get this giant fucking laugh. And she was like, wow.

And you can see her kind of feeling her oats. And then she's like, and then I told him, fuck you. And I'm like, No. Yes. Balls ass naked. That seems like you could be in jail. No. Yes. Balls ass naked. That seems like you could be in jail.

That seems criminal. With Joey's balls look like grapefruit in an old lady's pantyhose. And he's got a giant dick. So Joey would, you know, he's got this huge belly. So he opens up the curtains. Oh, Jesus. His pants are down by his ankles. His balls and his dick are hanging out.

He's got this huge belly. Yeah. She never did comedy again. Really? No. I'm making that up. Oh, okay. She should have.

There he is. That's in Austin, actually. That was where we were at the hotel, hanging out in the, there's Ari in the background. Yeah. Hanging out at the jacuzzi, getting ready for the show. Wow. Yeah. Back in the day. I mean, like comedy ready for the show. Wow. Yeah. Back in the day.

I mean, like comedy, it's already dangerous enough. Yeah. I don't need to add nudity. Well, you get in trouble now for things like that.

Like people can get really angry at you for showing your dick. Well, that could... It's not like the olden days. It was kind of a... It was a subtle gag. It's a goof.

People could see it. Yeah. I mean, nobody cared. It's a goof. People could see it. Yeah. It's a goof. Nobody cared. It's got its cock out. Yeah. Joey used to do it all the time. Yeah.

I remember when I was a kid, I had older sisters, and there was a flasher in our neighborhood. And they would go, I'm like, oh, the guy flat. I'm like, I don't understand this whole thing. I don't understand why he's doing that. I don't understand why it freaks you out so much. It's like the whole thing, but now I understand why it freaks you out so much it's like i don't the whole thing but now i do now i understand why it freaks them i get the freaking out i still don't get why they do it but i think it has something to do with someone traumatizing you when you're young it's got yeah it's got to be

humiliation something you're addicted to that kind of there's lots of people like that yeah well how about guys who are addicted to they hire women to gag them and shit on them and kick them in the balls and sometimes like really powerful men. And hurt them. Yeah, yeah. Like hurt them. Stomp their nuts. Like stomp on their nuts with a stiletto and then it starts bleeding.

How is that fun? How is that, what is that? I don't know. That is such a- Broken people. That is broke. So down a rabbit hole of humiliating. I mean, I was hit a lot.

I went to Catholic. I got all the guilt and hitting. And somehow I managed to avoid that kind of shit. I think that is... Not that I don't have weird shit, but... That's some mommy shit. And it's like the whole pantyhose and beating you and kicking you in the balls. It's like, there's obviously...

It's got to be your mom, right? There's a spectrum of pathologies that people can develop in their life. And there's probably a lot of mental illness involved in there and violence and abuse. But apparently there's a woman that I talked to who's a dominatrix. And she was telling me and Jim Norton, you know, Jim Norton. Yeah, I know Jim. And a dominatrix.

He loves dominatrix. And she was saying most of her clients are like these like wealthy CEOs and they run these companies and they're the fucking man and when they walk in, oh, Mr. Wilson's here. Hello, Mr. Wilson, can I get you a cup of coffee? And everyone's kissing their ass and they want someone to shit on them, like literally shit on them. They want someone to tie them up and she would say that those are the guys. Why is that though?

I guess it's just. So every powerful guy wants to like feel a release of their power well that's why when the John Wayne wanted to be shit on I don't get it maybe the steel dossier right when they were talking about Trump getting peeing on and all that stuff or peeing on them that's why it made sense it's like well of course of course what not that it's real not that it made sense when it's real but that would be a story because you would kind of expect from a super powerful guy who had a weird kink. Right.

Super powerful guys with weird kinks, they usually want to get pegged, right? They want to get pissed on. Pegged. Pegged is the best. That's one of the best things. Because you could say pegged on national TV right now. Yes. It's still, you can still say it.

They're pegged. No one can stop you. Right? Pegged is not like it's not in the dictionary i don't think right if you say butt fucked with a dildo people go hey but you shouldn't even say that because it's too wordy economy of words pegged fits better and it's it's it's got a p and a g pegged how do you just not start laughing when when she starts pegging you i don't know how do you just not start laughing? You might be really into it.

Oh yes, I'm a bad boy. I don't get it. What do the women get out of it? They get to dominate you and fucking humiliate you. Yeah, I knew a guy and this girl said that she would fuck him if he let her peg him.

And he wouldn't do it. Oh, really? She wanted to do it. Yeah, well, And we were calling him gay. She wanted to do it. Yeah. Well, she said, she goes, I'll let you fuck me, but I want to fuck you in the ass. How pretty was she?

She was pretty hot. And all my friends called him gay. Well. Bro, you're gay. You should have just fucked her and let her take you in the ass. You won't let someone fuck you in the ass. You're gay.

And my friend, it was funny, he was like, it's not even a real dick, bro. Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! You're gay. My friend, it was funny. He was like, it's not even a real dick, bro. There's no win there for this guy. Yeah, they're like, look, she's hot, man. She probably doesn't want to fuck you, but she's willing to do it if you're willing to do something for her.

She probably always wanted to peg a guy. You got to make some sacrifices. Yes. her she probably always wanted to peg a guy you got to make some sacrifices yeah it's like your joke about the the female version of uh who wants to give you a job in hollywood movie oh harvina weinstein yeah yeah it's like that harvina weinstein came to my son with a solid contract i'd be like dude you're gonna be batman that's true we were talking about that last night with r kelly like the r kelly story is horrific right he's having sexual 15 16 year old girls but imagine if j-lo had a bunch of 15

and 16 year old boys locked up in a house somewhere in miami she's making them all eat her ass and videotaping them we would be laughing we'd be it's so funny it's so different it is a different thing men and women are different yeah they're a different thing And this idea that we're not different Is so stupid We're not math Right We're very different Right

Yeah But we're in denial of that Because we work in these environments Where men and women are side by side 40 hours a week And everybody's under Human resources Fucking tight grip of behavior

And so everybody Guys act weird And then men don't want their women mad at them so they have to pretend that yeah, these guys are assholes. This guy's a total pig.

Yeah. As a male feminist, I find that atrocious. You know who's not a male feminist? You know who you never find that's a male feminist? Gay guys.

Because they're not trying to fuck you. Okay, so they don't have to play some stupid game that they care about women more than they care about anything.

And women's equality is the most important thing. No, they're trying to suck dick and butt stupid game. They care about women more than they care about anything and women's equality is the most important thing No, they're trying to suck dick and butt fuck dudes. They're having a good time That's what they do They're not they're having a fun time with other gay guys They don't give a fuck they don't want you to be victimized, but they're not gonna go out of their way as a male ally That's all guys trying to fuck you a hundred percent. It is 100% Sneaky guys who can't figure out all guys trying to fuck you. 100%. It is 100% sneaky guys who can't figure out

any other way to fuck. That they pretend to be female allies or feminists? Yeah, male feminists. You can just be a nice person who's got good values and ethics and you want equality for all. But the idea that you're a male feminist, you come out, I'm a male feminist.

Just saying those words out of your fucking mouth. You're a sneaky fuck. I know what you're doing. You're sneaky. You're a gender traitor. So you're telling me that guys who say, I always thought feminism was just about treating women equally. That's because you're talking to too many liberals. What is it about?

Well, it is about treating people equally if you feel that it's about treating people equally. But when you hear a man say that he's a male feminist, you're going so out on a limb. You're not just saying, I'm all about treating people equally. You're labeling yourself. And you're labeling yourself in this sort of submissive sort of, you're giving in to this cultural wave.

So let me just, can you, what is the definition of feminism? Is that okay if I can ask? Who the fuck knows? Right? I mean, he's going to look it up, right? I can ask Suri. I bet you she knows. Yeah, ask Suri. Okay, ready? We've got to end this soon i know hey siri what's the definition of feminism advocacy advocacy of women's rights on the basis of equality of the sexes boy that's an open-ended statement right there equality of

the sexes how weightlifting making babies there's no advocacy of women's rights based on the equality of sexes that is of the sexes. Well, I think you're equal, but you can be equal but different. Well, we're not math, right? Right. We certainly should have equal rights. We certainly should have just equal, the way people treat each other, just equal morals and ethics. Another definition of feminine, the theory of political, economic, social equality of the sexes,

organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests. I mean, that sounds like shit that you would agree with, Joe. Well, organized activity on behalf, this is going to take too long. Okay. Unfortunately, because it's 3 o'clock.

Okay. But yeah, I agree with most of those things. What I don't agree with is someone labeling themselves that way that's a man. Because everyone that I've ever met is a little weasel. Well, I'm...

I always say, show me a male feminist that can pick up heavy things and run fast. They don't exist. They don't exist. You don't think George Clooney calls himself a feminist?

Does he? I don't know. Does he have to? Probably has to. You think he gets pegged? Yes. But I think it's Brad Pitt. I like how you look

Jesus Christ Like I'm going in Jimmy I love you We ought to do this more often Yes I would love to Please can we do this more often It's always great to talk with you It's always great to talk to you too

Tell everybody how to get to your show All your social media shit Everything JimmyDoreComedy.com We're on tour We're going to be in Tempe Miami All over the place

Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com and you'll see everything. Always appreciate it, brother. Thank you so much. Thank you. Bye, you fucks.