The Joe Rogan Experience - #1421 - Jim Norton

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

Jim Norton is a stand-up comedian, radio personality, author, and actor. Check out his podcast the “Chip Chipperson Podacast" available on Spotify. Look for Jim on "The Degenerates - Season 2" now streaming on Netflix.

Three, two, one. Vancouver, April 20th. We're doing a 420 show. Chito Santino, Andrew Santino, Tony Hinchcliffe, and me. It's some big-ass arena. Go to joerogan.com. We're doing every year. Hi, Jimmy Norton.

Hi, buddy. We do a 420 show. No headphones? You want to do headphones or no headphones? I don't mind doing it. Casual? No, I don't mind. You do that weird thing with one in, one out.

I have to. I'm claustrophobic. Really? Yeah, it feels weird. You feel like the headphones are trapping you? I don't know. I feel like I'm underwater. Like, I don't like the way that sounds.

And now I know that's better. I look like an asshole, but it feels better. A lot of people do that. Yeah. A lot of musicians do that. They do like one in, one out. It's the air. It's feeling the air.

I don't know why. The pressure of the headphones, I just don't like it. I like to be trapped. You do? Trapped in the headphones. I don't care for it at all. I like hearing the other person's voice right next to mine so I don't talk louder than they talk. We don't talk over each other.

That's what it does. That's professional, but I can't. Howard, I heard, would do it where they wouldn't even look at each other. I have to be in the room looking at the person's mouth. I don't like to do it. You wouldn't look at each other. No, meaning the way they were set up for the cameras. Sometimes you're facing both kind of the same way because of the cameras. They weren't always,

I don't think, face-to-face. If you looked at his old setup, wasn't like Artie sitting behind him at one point? Yeah, Artie was sitting to the side of him. And then the guest was like over there. Yeah. Yeah, I could never do that. Well, you know, Howard also runs a board.

That's the difference. Like, he's got a bunch of shit in front of him. He's actually a trained radio guy. He knows all the Jamie shit. He knows all them switches, all that fancy stuff over there. Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck's going on over there. I can basically set, I can start and stop, but I hate running the board. It's distracting, and I don't like doing it. It doesn't feel fun.

You know, what's crazy is they have full setups now for podcasts, like a podcast board that you buy. It's set up for podcasts. You just plug mics into it, and it's all kind of there. Do they have audio compression on those things too? Yeah, it's called the Podcaster Pro or something like that. It's in the name, yeah. You can put a phone into it for calls.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Calls. Yeah. In case you want to take calls. I like being live. We're live now too. Right now on this? No, we're not live anymore. Oh, you don't do live anymore? Oh, wow. Calls. Yeah. I like being live. We're live now, too. Yeah. I like being live.

Right now on this? No. We're not live anymore. Oh, you don't do live anymore? No. Oh, okay. Because I always like the feeling of live because if you fuck up, it's out there. No.

There was companies that were taking clips as we were live and uploading them immediately and building these huge channels with hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Oh. And you could use that for anything. They were selling things. Okay. They had links to stuff. They're basically building a business off of your clips so you got to be a little bit more you can't let that happen because you also don't know what they're

going to turn that channel into you know they could turn that channel into anything it's like it's youtube is still a little bit of like a wild west sort of situation then there was also copyright issues like you get three copyright flags in a row they take your whole channel down and we had gotten a bunch of them we've gotten them for clips that we show we got them for pictures like you have to try to figure out like what's what is it what are you allowed to do what are you not allowed to do what's fair use and like is it fair use mean they just don't come after you for it like i don't know what that what it means either it's It's not that clearly defined, unfortunately. But it's also, you know, like, the internet in general, you know, at one point in time, you can kind of put it, like, at one point in time, if you went to YouTube, you would find all kinds of shit that was on people's channels.

There was copyright protected stuff. TV shows, movies, music, all kinds of stuff. And they've slowly started, you know not not really slowly is it accurate to say they've kind of eliminated a lot of that stuff now but they're operating at an insane scale like the amount of people that upload stuff to youtube every day is it's probably unimaginable like if you could see it you can't keep up with it right if you had a giant screen in front of you and you saw all the videos that are being instantly uploaded to youtube at any given moment you'd probably like what yeah like there's more there was some crazy quote that there's more content created today like i think what is the number it's it's almost like in one

day there's more content being created than in all of human history before like 10 years ago wow yeah well how many podcasts are there aren't there isn't like a couple hundred thousand podcasts worldwide the 700,000 700,000 podcasts yeah it's it's also i don't know how they keep up with uh what you're allowed to put on what you're not if somebody doesn't complain do they catch it and pull it off uh or the algorithms catch it and pull it off sometimes yeah here what is this every minute of the day there's like all these things are happening every minute of the day 4 million 166 000 users like posts on facebook but what is the youtube right here 300 hours it's uploaded every minute wow but what But what about the thing about data?

Like the amount of data that people produce today, it's something like that. I think it's like one days where the data is equivalent to the entire human history up until like 20 years ago or something like that. Uh-huh, ad block, they got you. What does it say here? Let's see if they have that quote. Does it say that? I know what you're talking about. Yeah talking about yeah it's a nutty quote more than 3.7 billion humans use

the internet god damn it yeah who's it those are people out there with no internet you know do you know don gavin is funny you say don gavin i literally i know who he is from all you guys the boston guys love him i just got got him on Spotify because I've seen clips and I'm like, Dane Cook put something up that Gavin is re-releasing an album. So I'm like, I want to hear him really do stand-up because I've really never watched him. He's so fucking funny. He's really good. Oh, he's great.

Yeah, but I never sat down and watched him do a set. Back in the day, he was the king. When we were in Boston, you'd just sit back and you'd go, oh my God, I should quit. I should quit doing comedy. He was so good. And he never sent a text in his life until he texted me to be on the show. Really? Yeah.

His first text was to you? Yeah, he's like, it took me about a fucking hour and a half. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. Yeah, he's so old school. He doesn't just call people. And he had never sent a text. Bob Kelly's like that, though. Really? Some guys are phone guys. Bob Kelly's like that, though. Really?

Some guys are phone guys. Bob Kelly's a phone guy. Like, you'll text him and you just won't hear back. And he likes to fucking talk on the phone. I hate it. Nah, Joey Diaz does that, too. He's a phone guy. Yeah, but Joey has a logic to it.

He goes, I want to hear your voice. He goes, I'm insecure. I don't want to see no fucking text message. He goes, I don't know what that is. What are you saying? I want to hear your voice. I want to hear the love in your voice. I'm like, okay.

That makes sense. It's also a great way to not have things recorded if you don't want them actually in print. Yes. Bobby just liked the phone. I hate it. It drives me nuts, too. Really? No, I never.

My phone's always on silent. One too many times I was in a relationship, fucking three in the morning. You're getting a vibration. I'm like, fuck. So my phone's been on silent. One too many times I was in a relationship, fucking three in the morning. You're getting a vibration. I'm like, fuck. So my phone's been on silent for 10 years. 10 years. Yeah, 10 years of silence. 10 years.

Hiding from that ring. Ringers are gross. Like when you hear someone in a fucking restaurant. Get the fuck out of here with that thing. But isn't it great watching somebody panic and go into their purse? Yeah. You ever watch somebody panic and reach for their phone? Like, that's a justified reaction.

When you're fucking panicking and going for your stuff, I kind of appreciate that. Dude, I was just thinking before you sat down. We've known each other for so long. And now we're like these old men on the radio. We've known each other since we were kids. Yeah. old men on the radio. We've known each other since we were kids. Like, when I first met you, we were both in our 20s, early 20s,

young comics, hanging around in New York, and now we're old. Yeah. We are old. We're old men. We did a gig together, and I remember it specifically,

I think you featured, actually. I think I was the host, and you were the feature, and you were doing a bit about Tyson and Robin Givens. And I want to say it was 1992 up in the mountains in Jersey for a guy named Pat Guarini. I could be incorrect, but I think it was around late. Lake Opaquan it might have been, 1992.

But I'm pretty sure that was the year. Could be. Did a lot of gigs. Yeah. It's hard to remember. And you were close with a guy named John Tobin, who I remember well yeah yeah it's um the passage of time is a strange thing man it really is because most of the time it doesn't seem like it's anything significant it's just life you get up when

the alarm goes off you you eat breakfast you put your clothes on but then one day you know you're hanging out with someone like you That I only get to see you Like once a year Maybe twice a year Yeah And then I'm like Oh yeah

Look we're old Yeah We're fucking The world keeps going Yeah And you keep You keep on Keep on aging

But do you mind it Like I don't mind it Because the more people You know that die Like as you get older And they start dying Not just from unnatural causes But natural causes You're like fuck I guess Like whenever people die now as much as it's sad i'm

always like okay that's one more person i lasted longer than and it's not that i'm happy to see them go i know what you're saying but it's like i know your blessings count your blessings man i'm winding my life down yeah yeah you got to count your blessings it's it's one of those things where it's so easy to get complacent. It's so easy to not appreciate things. It's so easy. Yeah, I look around my life sometimes. You get depressed and you look and you're like, what am I complaining?

I have everything I wanted. If you told 18-year-old Jimmy Norton that he would be complaining about this, I would have spit on myself. Well, it's like what we were talking about before the show, that there was these people on a show and they weren't making as much as the lead guy who was this famous guy and they were really pissed off at him and complaining and then they they eventually fucked the guy over and the show got canceled now they don't have anything yeah like you don't realize like how good it is because everyone's comparing themselves to other folks they're comparing themselves to other people that they're around or other people that they're with or I remember I was reading something about Iran Barkley.

Do you remember who he is? I do, yeah. Former midway boxing champion, bad motherfucker. Iran Barkley went broke even though he made millions of dollars because he was hanging out with all these pro athletes. And everybody's just out doing everybody. Everybody's getting a Lamborghini or a gold chain that's bigger than the other guy's gold chain or a bigger house or bigger this or bigger that And next thing you know, you're broke you spent it all. Yeah, you're like fuck and it's just this it's all relative Like even though you've got things great. You don't have it as great as that guy over there

So comparatively you feel like a loser, but you got to know where you're at to like getting fired for me We got kicked off opiate Anthony in 2002 Best thing that ever happened to me because it showed me that it could all be taken away from you. So long before

this whole culture of just cancel culture and all this shit happened, I had had that moment of life is good and then you're out. Fuck you. That was the Condoleezza Rice

thing, right? No, that was on XM. That's when we almost got fired from satellite. No, this was Sex for Sam on Terrestrial. This is WNEW. Oh, that's when you guys got fired from satellite. No, this was sex for Sam on Terrestrial. This is WNEW.

Oh, that's when you guys get fired because you had the people and they had sex in a... Anal sex in St. Pat's, yeah. So that was two years off the air, but that showed me that they can take anything at any time. So I've never thought I was irreplaceable. I never think I got it forever. Anything I have, I know can be fucking yanked immediately. Yeah, no, it definitely can. That was a weird one to me because the big thing was that these people had sex in a Catholic

cathedral. That was the big reason why they got fired, right? Because they didn't ask these people to do it in there, did they? Yeah, it was kind of a contest. It was known. You would get what they call a two-point conversion if you had anal. There was all these weird things, and it was a bad move to go into st pat's they went to st pat's and uh there was an arrest and because there was an arrest it became real and it was so avoidable

on so many levels like so many things yeah you look back you're like why did we just shut the fuck up and it would have stopped yeah you know why do we push it but you know i'm glad it happened now in hindsight well you know in a lot of ways it's there's this thing that people do you know why do we push it but you know i'm glad it happened now in hindsight well you know in a lot of ways it's there's this thing that people do you know we're talking about ari before the podcast where it's you do things you're not supposed to do so people go i can't believe you're doing that and then there's just like thrill to that there's a thrill to it and then what happens is you have to keep upping it yeah you have to keep upping it yes and it's almost like you get a fear like if i don't top last time

the people who like me are no longer going to like me and i'm going to lose this momentum i've picked up you become afraid that the people who like you are going to go you're a fraud you're not doing what we want you to do so then you keep topping yourself and keep topping you it's like the kid who eats bugs you know what i mean you know then he's eating a roach and the next thing you know he's fucking he's doing this because he he's afraid of not topping himself and all of a sudden being ignored right like pat like the intern pat oh yes pat duffy pat duffy best he ate cat shit he drank people's vomit He was literally an indestructible fucking man. If you have to build a guy in the military, he's the type of mentality you want.

Oh, yeah, for sure. You want to get him when he's 18 and just turn him into a full sicko. Savage, yeah. What is he doing these days? I don't know. I haven't talked to him. I don't know. What about Pat from Woonaki?

You know, I thought of him recently. He's on Twitter. I don't know exactly what he's doing. I would love to have him. Yeah, Pat Phil Philbin his name is I would love to have him On to our radio show Cause I miss Pat from Munaki a lot

Dude That day where he did The Baby Bird The day where they had The eggnog drink contest Yeah It was you and me And Burr

And Ari And there was a couple other people In the studio as well Yeah That was one of my Most fun times ever On the radio Yeah

It was so ridiculous The whole floor You could never do that today never never in a million years we were in opium anthony in the studio the floor was covered in plastic bags because they had an opium uh opium anthony had an uh eggnog eating contest and everyone would throw up there you get to a certain level of eggnog we just couldn't take it anymore and pat had to throw up because he was diabetic so he shouldn't have been drinking that anyway. So he's drinking gallons and gallons of eggnog. And when he threw it up,

we said, like, he was ready to go and I said, let's get Pat Duffy to lean his head. Was that your suggestion? Yes. I was doing Fear Factor back then. My head was all full of sick things. That was like, what year was that? 2003? I want to say 2007. Was it really? Yeah, that was

on K-Rock. That was on a terrestrial studio. Was it seven? Was it that late? I'm thinking it was. Yeah, it definitely wasn't three, because we weren't on the radio then. Oh, right, right, right. So, he leans his head over this garbage pail, and

Pat Fumunaki blows just like a fountain, like the most insane Stephen King, like, what was that movie, Stand By Me? Remember when the kid had the pie-eating contest, and the kid's throwing up all over everybody? That's what it was like. Like, it literally didn't seem humanly possible that a person could have that much fluid in their body, and then when he was ejecting it, it was like a cartoon. He's seem humanly possible that a person could have that much fluid in their body. And then when he was ejecting, it was like a cartoon. He's doing it in Pat's face.

2006. 2006. It was 2006. Wow. And I can't believe, I forgot. I used to forget that Burr was there that day. Yeah, we were all there, man. It's one of those things you're glad you were a part of, right?

Like, I'm happy I was there for that. I was happy I got to see that. It was so fun. That show, when it was in its prime, when it was in its peak, was so fun. And it was a hang. And it really influenced, in a lot of ways, the way I do podcasts. Because there's no structure. It's just

hanging out with funny people. Just talking about stuff. No structure. Yeah, just bullshitting. Wherever it goes, it goes. I mean, it'll always go somewhere. I mean, you get people having a conversation, it's always going to flow I mean, you get people having a conversation. It's always going to flow somewhere. Exactly. It doesn't have to be controlled and regimented.

And what do you want to talk? Is there anything worse when you go to a radio show? Like, what do you want to? Dude, I've done radio shows where they tell you they want you to bring up certain subjects where you have jokes. You know, there's not even that long ago, man, like less than 10 years ago, I did one of those national radio shows in the midwest and they asked me to do that and i was like what and the producer got upset

and i go i don't do that i go i'm not gonna do that and like we need subjects like the guy was like pissy with me yeah it's hard to do because you feel embarrassed it's like you feel just you feel dirty like when someone's doing your bit and you know you're doing it they're ah they're fake laughing. Oh, it's the worst. Who's enjoying this? That's what radio used to be, though. What radio used to be, you'd go on WAAF in Boston, and you would talk to the guys, and

you would kind of work in your bits. Yeah. And everybody did it. Everybody did their bits. Yeah. I guess it was a part of it, but I was never good at it. Well, because you're authentic. But Opie and Anthony was the first to meet.

Like, Howard's show was much more controlled. You know, Howard's behind the mixer. He's kind of controlling everything. There was a certain amount of time that he would talk to you, and then other people would come in, and then, you know, he had, like, more of a structure. Whereas O and A, you would go in there, and Anthony would have a gun

and fucking you know opie's behind the mixer just sort of watching all this chaos go on different comics come filtering in and you know maybe every time mary and barry walked in yeah he was going on sway next door and we we he was like a little out of it and loopy and we fucking we just hijacked him and he kind of walked in like he had no idea who we were. It was really uncomfortable. And I knew he was going to leave soon, so I immediately started asking him about crack. You went right into, you knew it was in that pipe. And he was like, nobody knows what's in that pipe.

I go, nobody knows what's in that pipe. I'm like, you knew what's in that pipe. The fuck are you talking about, man? And the publicist was like, come on, let's go. They wanted to get him out of there. They wanted to get him out of there immediately. Yeah, that was fun. Marion Barry. He died not too long after that, I don talking about, man? And the publicist was like, come on, let's go. They wanted to get him out of there. They wanted to get him out of there immediately. Yeah, that was fun. Marion Barry.

He died not too long after that, I don't think, right? It wasn't that long after that, yeah. It was funny, man. I remember there was an interview they did where there was a news station. They were talking to people about his arrest and all this stuff. And they interviewed this guy. He goes, oh, come on, man. Everybody smokes a little crack every now and then.

I'm like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then. I'm like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then. That's a great quote from a mayor. That's a great mayor's quote. It wasn't him, though. He wasn't saying it. Someone else was saying it. Oh, about him. Okay.

In defense of him. Oh, all right. If it was him saying that, that would be hilarious. Yeah, I'm like, how did I miss that? No, it was another guy that was on the street who was like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then. Did he get reelected after that, too? Yes, he did. I think he went to jail, came out Did he get reelected after that too? Yes, he did.

I think he went to jail, came out, and got reelected. Yeah. Yes. People in D.C. very forgiving. LOL.

Yeah. Very forgiving. Strange fucking place, man. So how do you handle this, man? This whole culture we're in, it's like, it's not scary. It's more irritating.

Like, anything you say, people who are looking to, I don't mean if you say something horrible, they're going to react like you said something horrible. Yeah. Anything you say people who are looking to i don't mean if you say something horrible they're going to react like you said something horrible anything you say people are looking for a reason like they're looking for something because the high that they get is by going after you and they don't even know that they're high doing it did you see that lady that was talking about the kobe bryant death and she accidentally said the n-word oh she said

yeah nakers yeah she was trying to she thought she was either saying. Oh, she said Nakers. Yeah. Nakers. Yeah, she was trying to, she thought she was either saying the Knicks or the Lakers. Yeah. And she said the Nakers. Yeah, I think she said the N word, but she said, she said she said Nakers,

but I think she said the N word. I think it just, it's almost like it's so taboo that it's in people's heads. Like on Martin Luther King's birthday, there's always an anchor that gets fired because he can't remember that Martin Luther King Jr. are all separate words. And you should not conflate the last two or you're going to get fucking fired. King and Jr., they put it together too fast and it comes out wrong.

That's what happens. That happens all the time. All the time. The word coon is such a weird one, too, because who the fuck calls black people coons? That's a really old school, weird racist one. That's a strange one. It was a known insult when I was a kid, but I don't even know if that was one I even heard when I was a kid. I definitely have heard it.

I definitely heard it in pool halls. I definitely heard it, but it was from old dudes. It was like an old dude thing, like guys in their fucking 60s and shit. from old dudes it was like an old dude thing like guys in their fucking 60s and shit but um i had a friend who uh has severe anxiety issues he has panic attacks and he eventually had to quit doing stand-up but so he was uh he he was doing the warm-up for the bill cosby show okay and he is doing the thing and talking to people in the crowd and bill cosby's obviously super squeaky clean show and the warm-up has to be squeaky clean and while he's walking around the crowd he has this unstoppable thought in his head don't say the n-word don't

say it don't say it don't say it just don't say that word and he said i'm sweating he goes sweat is pouring down the sides of my face my hands are shaking and i'm so terrified all i could think of is don't say that word don't say that he goes i never say that word yeah i never say that word but his brain because he has anxiety issues and he's got ocd and a bunch of different like he's got mental issues he was paralyzed and feeling he had a full-blown panic attack. So here he is doing a warm-up He can't even talk and he's got a microphone and he's standing around these people and then he's becoming ruthlessly Conscious of the fact that all these people are watching him. He's like, holy fuck

I can't do this and he's like his heart is beaten out of his chest And he's like the only victory was that I didn't say the word. Yeah, the only victory that was what I was really hoping this story would end to I was Hoping I was hoping that was in the introduction and he lost everything But yeah, sometimes if you focus on something that you can't say yes And I think these anchors get caught up the woman when Kobe died. I also think that she was just Panicking but it's like if you're panicking and that word drops out, like Lakers doesn't. Can we hear it? I'm sure.

I don't want to give any more heat on that. I don't want to make that lady feel bad. It's okay. We don't have to hear it. I don't, you know. Yeah. Poor lady. I don't think she meant it.

No. No anchor means to say that. Unless. Live. I mean, imagine like she leaves that and then she fucking dons a hood and she's like this is me all along yeah yeah yeah i had this uh guy in here the other day daryl davis who's uh this guy right here i think i saw his picture yeah yeah this is his uh his music he's converted 200 different kkk and uh nazis to to leave the organization 200 by just hanging out with them being being friends with them,

just getting to know them. And a lot of people were like, I never really sat down and had a drink with a black guy before. He's like, how is that possible? Yeah. How is that possible? And so just, and he's a musician by trade. I mean, that's what he is, a really good musician.

And just by doing that, just by getting to know these people, just getting, and they were like, they just were afraid. They didn't know any people. They just felt like they didn't. And he's super articulate as well. So like talking to him, you realize like, oh, this guy's really smart. And then if you talk to him time after time, after time, hours, after hours, after you realize like, this guy's fucking smarter than me. So when you're doing that, you're realizing like, oh, there's no way black people can be inferior.

This is nonsense this guy's a black guy right in front of me right now and he's talking using words that i barely understand that's how the guy in the clan would say that's how the guy in the clan felt yeah and after a while he asked him to come to his house and he said i'm quitting i'm quitting the clan he gave him his robe really yeah so he collects robes now he came in he brought like grand wizard robes and grand dragon robes. He had a Nazi outfit. He had a Nazi flags that guys have given him. Yeah. Do you know, when I was a teenager, I was so, I was very, you know, I was, I was drinking and I remember I was so anti-Klan. I had read some book on the Ku Klux Klan and it was the preacher for the Klan.

His name was in the book. So I called the, uh, information. Um, I called the FBI and I tried to stop a Klan rally, but I called this guy at home, this Klan preacher. And I started, you know, that's wrong.

You're a racist. You know, I was 14. And he told me, I left the Klan. I'm not in the Klan anymore. And he actually talked to me for a few minutes.

Wow. Yeah. But I was, before you could, you know, I was fucking just 14 and drunk and trying to make a difference. How cool is that though

that he talked to you? He did talk to me. Yeah. And I'll never forget it. And I, my father, I think knew I was fucking just 14 and drunk and trying to make a difference. How cool is that, though, that he talked to you? He did talk to me, yeah. And I'll never forget it. My father, I think, knew I was drinking afterwards because he heard some of the conversation. But I think it started with me calling the FBI. You called the FBI a few times back then. You called the FBI?

That's what I would do when I drank. Yeah, I was a fucking crazy person. I called the FBI. I remember when I met you, like, fuck, we were probably early 20s, right? Yep. And I was like, why'd you quit drinking? And you're like, why'd you quit doing drugs? And you're like, I had to. Yeah. I called a bomb threat into my high school.

I remember I cleared the high school. I did that when I was, I want to say I was 17 or 18 and we used to get drunk in my friend's house and there was some number you could call for help from nuns. So I would have my friends sitting around and I was some number that you could call for like help from nuns. So I would have my friends sitting around

and I would always call up and pretend that like I would make up these horrible incest stories and terrible sexual things that were happening to me and my fucking friends would be laughing

and the nuns would be trying to counsel me on the phone. Oh, Jesus. And then I called a bomb threat. I did it a couple of times and it didn't work and the third time I did it, the final time I did it,

they actually had people leave the school and go outside while they searched the school. Drunk bomb threats. Didn't fucking TJ Miller do that recently? It was something with him on a train, but it wasn't a threat. I think he had something with a woman. But didn't he call a bomb threat in? I don't know if it was a threat or if he thought she really had one. I never got the full story.

He thought she really had one? I bet I don't know. I remember reading it and I don't know if it was a threat or if he thought she really had one like i never got the full story he thought she really had one i bet i don't know i remember reading it and i don't remember what the conclusion was if you're really fucked up and you think somebody might have a bomb like paranoia like real like full-blown paranoia like i remember um you know uh jim brewer of course it was a legendary pothead and one time he quit and he quit for quite a while and i said well why why'd you quit he goes he goes, I started getting really paranoid. Like, paranoid that people were listening to me and the people were following me and watching me. He goes, it was not healthy. It was not good.

And, you know, I wonder about that. the normal way you are and you start changing it a little bit with a little bit of booze a little bit of booze a little bit of anxiety a little bit of depression a little bit of bad things a little bit of this a little bit that i'll take a little xanax take the edge off then i'll take a valium so i can go to sleep then i'll take a an ambient if the valium doesn't work and you keep going and going and going and going you're you're like you know how like there's certain things you could do that can give you arthritis right there's certain things that corrode your joints there's certain things you can do that that make you tired, right? There's certain things that corrode your joints. There's certain things you can do that make you tired. The more chemicals you insert into your body, the more things you do, the more you shift from your comfortable baseline of who you are when you're at your healthiest.

You change. You become a different thing. And I think pot is just as likely to do that as anything. If you're doing it the wrong way, if you abuse it, I think alcohol can do it. I think pot can do it. Pills, speed, I think all those things can surely do it. But it's strange to see when someone starts to slip away and they start to go towards this like very strange version of themselves that you know they don't have control anymore.

Is that how you felt like when you were a kid? Yeah from a very young age it was a weird, but I was a very addicted It was like sexual addiction first like that was the first one I mean sexual addiction was yeah, you you were drinking when you were 13 you said yeah But I mean I was a child I was sexually active as a kid like fucking I Ten sexual partners before fourth grade what I've never told you you that? Oh, yeah. How was that possible? I was blowing all my friends. I was a fucking, couldn't stop.

How did that get started? You know, I don't remember the first one, but I remember there's a picture, I can date it because there's a picture of me when I was a kid when I split my head open. And I remember I split my head open running from the boy who was a year older than me and I used

to blow him but I was scared of him he was a he was a terrorized me but I I would remember him trying to fuck me once too but I was I couldn't do it like I vaguely remember I was in the hallway my pants were down his fucking dick always smelled like fucking mothballs because he was

dude he wore fucking Budweiser bathing trunks. They had Budweiser on them and he wore Budweiser bathing trunks. So did he have like mothballs in his drawer, his dresser drawer?

He must have, but that smell is a visceral memory I have of that. He's the kid that pissed in my mouth. I fucking... I was in a public pool in Edison, New Jersey. This is how young I was. I didn't know that. He's the kid that pissed in my mouth. I fucking I was in a public pool

in Edison, New Jersey. This is how young I was. I didn't know that. So I went and I was blowing him underwater and then he goes I popped up because he pissed in my mouth. So I popped up. I'm like, don't do that anymore. Anyway, alright. I put my foot down and then went back and he did it again. So I stopped blowing him

at that moment. He pissed in my mouth twice in the pool. Dude, that is hilarious. So you were blowing him in the pool? Yeah, I didn't think people could see me. Underwater? I was so young. If I can't see them, they can't see me. But the photo I have with the split on my head is 1973.

So I was five. So I know at that age, I was already involved. So I have an absolute photo that dates exactly. So you were blowing kids when you were five? Yeah. So what do you think started that off? Don't know. It must have been just one kid.

One kid opened the door. The rest of us fucking ran through it. I mean, I don't know. I just don't know what started it. I have very vague, fleeting memories. So at five years old, you were all sexually active? You and your buddies? Yeah, and then he got a little older.

Six, seven, eight. Like, you know, it was... I don't remember who was first, who was second. I remember when my one friend got erections and I didn't get them. Like, I didn't know what they were. When he was five, he was getting a red one. He might have been six or seven. He might have been...

He might have been six or seven. Just get giant rods at six years old. But I remember not knowing... We used to count sucks. That's what it would do. Like, all right, I'll give you 10 and you give me 10. So you would have one, two, three, and you would fucking count sucks. Did you develop technique?

Did you figure out, like, what's the best way to suck a dick? I don't know. At that age, I don't think so, because I think it was all about getting you to do me after. Oh, right, right, right. I think that was kind of the goal. Right, of course. But there was a lot of it, man. And I have, again, I can date it because halloween of fourth grade to north brunswick so any experience that happened

with in this place i know it happened before then yeah wow that's crazy so do you think that this kid did you know that if this kid was molested don't know i mean there had to be somebody had to be getting fucked because there's no way all of us were that sexually active for no reason I just don't remember I have too many memories like being in a basement and then not exactly remembering I have weird memories possibly with adults

like it's kind of like watching it fades in and out and I wish my memory was better but it's just not no one's really is that's the weird thing about memories when it comes to being you know a young person no one's memories are very good you have like flashes i have like some things that i definitely remember but because they're

like facts like when i was seven we drove across the country you know i remember those yeah i remember we got in an accident on lombard street in san francisco you know that's like the crooked street in the world. Right. I remember that because I remember someone tried to pass us and I remember we scratched the car. I remember that. But like there's little tiny things. Like sometimes I'll talk to my sister or I'll talk to my mom. She's like, do you remember that thing?

And then all of a sudden it's like I open up a folder. Like, oh, yeah. I remember that guy. Whatever happened to him? You know, like that guy didn't exist in my brain until a couple seconds ago. And then I'm like, oh, look at this old folder folder let's open up my old memory of that fella you know sometimes those are scary though and like i'm annoyed i i many times drive back to that area because it's in edison and i'll drive back when i'm doing the stress factory or a gig

and i'll just i'll drive through that neighborhood and i'll be like what the fuck happened here right something happened here and it might not just be one moment but something happened here that kind of shifted me because i don't know exactly what it is and dr drew told me i was molested i mean maybe he's right i don't know well at the very least you were sexually involved with someone else who might have been molested yeah well i mean without the odds are it had to be one of them that was another thing that came of this article that i was saying that the origins of homosexuality that's one of the came of this article that I was saying that the origins of homosexuality, that's one of the things they were saying that I was homophobic because the origins of sexuality,

homosexuality is them, people being molested when they're younger. That is not what I said. And let me explain that to people. If you're gay, if you read that, you feel bad. That can happen to people who would not be inclined towards homosexuality if they're molested when they're younger. Dr. Chris Ryan, the guy who wrote Sex at Dawn, was explaining it to me, be inclined towards homosexuality if they're molested when they're younger dr chris ryan the guy who wrote sex at dawn was explaining it to me is that there's a um you you pat like what is the term um not necessarily patterning imprinting that when you're sexually active like if someone's

sexual with you when you're young and that person happens to be a man, you can imprint and you can develop sexual feelings in response to that. Your brain triggers sexual feelings towards men where you might not be inclined. So even if you're not actually homosexual, you're still turned on by men in a certain way because you were molested. It's one of the reasons why they say, but they don't really know why people who get molested wind up molesting people, but it's really common. It's like, you know, somebody described it best, like it's almost like a vampire bites you. And this thing, like you're passing it on to the next person, this creepy thing.

But that, you know, this is another thing where people took out of context saying that, you know, I'm homophobic. Well, for me, it was all kids in my age group that I remember. I have vague adult memories, but not anything concrete that I can say was sexual. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it just kind of, it's like a smoke that comes by and it leaves. And that's kind of how those memories are. But with the kids, they were all kids in my age within a year or two of each other.

So it wasn't like, that's why I don't like being a victim. So I feel like, you know, I volunteered, man. man i showed up there was a lot of times i wanted to play the game and well you were five you know i mean i have so few memories when i was five i mean i bet you probably don't know why you were doing or what what happened before that that started it and caused it i bet the person who you're doing it with you know when people get molested when they're really young one of the big issues is they block it out. They don't remember a goddamn thing. Their brain protects them from all the darkness. Yeah, I think so. And I've heard that enough. So I'm almost like, I always try to find something to explain, but maybe it wasn't

that bad. Maybe it was just me and my friends. And then it just kind of developed into something that was fun and it felt good. I mean, again, I can't uh i can't say there was any ominous uh force behind it i just don't remember but it's weird because it's like most kids don't blow their friends yeah i know by the way that's a great name for an album those kids don't blow their friends folks that should be your next comedy yeah. Yeah, my new tour. But it's so something, we assume something happened. But not necessary, right? Because the first kid that blew his friends,

I mean, there had to be one guy somewhere in history that was like, I got an idea. Let me just... That looks like a valve. Let me just put everyone's dick In my mouth And see how they feel about it Like People Look

Who's the first guy To pierce his septum Right Yeah Who's the first guy To tattoo his face Who's the Who's the first guy

To butt fuck There has to be a first guy Well that one might have come Simultaneously Two places at once You never know That might have been A couple of thoughts

At the same time When do you think Butt fucking started Like chimps Clearly butt fuck Right Like bonobos they must butt fuck each other they fuck do you know bonobos have they only have one taboo which is they the mom won't have sex with the son oh isn't that interesting yeah like the whole culture is filled with with sex like chimp bonobo chimps all the the the males breed their daughters the they

they exchange sex it's like a social token like they they resolve issues with sex like they're they're one animal that like clearly has massive amounts of recreational sex and they don't have any violence and the anal i don't know where that comes i wonder if that's just because of a position where somebody's on their stomach and the person behind them or the creature behind them is just like this your ass is easier yeah um i don't know yeah i'm not a big fan of ass fucking i like a little bit but i'm not crazy about it yeah i used to like it more when i was younger well i mean it seems messy it has been yeah at times at times yeah there's been a few issues could be painful.

It's not really supposed to go in there. No, it's not. But some people love it. They love it. I can do it once in a while. I can't, you know, I can fuck it. Yeah. Yeah, not a lot.

Gets a little sloppy. Well, it's, you know, it's if someone's trans and they don't want to transition and they don't want to have a vagina, they just want to keep their penis, then there's not a whole lot of options. Oh, yeah, you fuck them or they fuck you. I mean, there's two. You have two options. So it's kind of, you know, you switch off.

Yeah. It's interesting how just the amount of people that are just people talking about trans people has changed you know like what the numbers you never heard that when i was a kid yeah you never heard it when i was in high school you never heard about it no one was trans no no one thought they'd be trans in high school now kids in high school are trans like a lot of kids are trans you gotta wonder like what what is that you know i think people are gentler with it now. That's one thing I think the younger generation is a little smarter with, is that they don't just judge you for it and people can kind of be comfortable being who they are.

Yeah. Because the people, I mean, I'm sure trans people existed, but you just, you didn't know what to call it. Nobody, I didn't know what it was when I first saw it or encountered it. I had no idea what it was. Well, there's a movie or a book rather that I read about Custer. I had no idea what it was. Well, there's a movie or a book rather that I read about Custer. And one of the parts of the book is about this guy who went somewhere and came back and his wife had died.

And it turned out that his wife had been a man. And everybody found out. And so he had like this thing. He said, you know, if anything happens to my wife, don't touch her. Leave her alone. Wait till I come back. back but they didn't do that they did an examination they found out that she had a dick and the guy wound up killing himself but so this was something that was going on in the 1800s in the Wild West so this guy was in like this Wild West town and he had a trans wife and he just they had to keep it quiet and when people found found out about it, he wound up killing himself.

Yeah, there's so much shame. It's funny, I just talked about this somewhere else too, but there's so much shame around it. For the men, not just for the trans people, but for the men who like trans people, there's fucking just shame. Of course. That's one of the things I really appreciate about you, that you don't give a fuck.

You talk about everything that you like. You talk about everything that you don't like about yourself and i think because you do that on the radio and because you do that freely and openly i think you help a lot of people man i really do because i think you make it because everybody loves you right so like you can come on this podcast and you know you can say anything you know i love you and there's no way if your sexual desires or interest is going to affect that in any way and so you could be free and then we could all talk about stuff and then there's probably some kid out there that's going i think i'm okay yeah i think i'm okay i'm not i

don't think i'm a freak fucking everybody loves jim norton like it's okay i get emails from people a lot of guys have sent me messages to go hey man thanks for talking about that because it made me feel like it was all right to like that or made me feel more you know everything we're a culture that likes to scold each other yeah because it you know it's like you have to be comfortable talking about it and realizing hey you might not say this word right you might not express it right we're doing the best we can to grapple with this whole thing but it's about self-identification for men am i a homosexual that's why guys don't talk about it because we don't know who it makes us i think the scolding thing is a big point what you just said that people are worried that people are going to scold them and you know one of the things that

people do when they're worried about that is they scold other people first yep you know that's what what bullies are when people go around beating people up the reason why they go around beating people up is because they're afraid someone's going to do it to them. They're insecure. So they want to have power over those other people because they're terrified someone's going to want to have power over them because they're weak. And this is like that expression, hurt people hurt people. Yeah.

Like when you see online bullying or people ganging up on people online, I guarantee you every one of those people that's doing that is terrified that it's going to come back to them. Yeah. And they're just throwing rocks and hoping no rocks come back their way. Hoping the mob doesn't look at them. Hoping and praying. Yeah. Hoping and praying.

Be a part of it. If you're not a part of it, you could be the one that they're doing it to. Yeah. And I've chosen, particularly over the last few years, when I recognize there's a difference between my reach and my influence and other people's. I don't do that i don't retweet things that people say that are mean to me and say won't you eat shit fuck face or you know like what a cute person you are i i could easily and then millions and millions of people would see that and who then this person would go into a fucking panic attack and look at their twitter and their feet and their phones blowing up. All the inboxes coming in.

Then they have to go see their counselor or their psychiatrist. They get doxxed. You're dead. Yeah. All that stuff is people. And this is one of the things that I think is a real problem with social media in general and Twitter in particular. That method of communication of just doing text out there, once it gets personal, like it's one thing if you're like,

look, they just discovered a new city under the ocean. That's what I use it for, or maybe a joke or two. But when you get personal with someone, like you're getting personal in a way that you're not connecting with them. You're throwing a text out there, and you're also doing it publicly for the whole world, but you're not communicating with that person one-to-one like a human being. And because of that, because you're not communicating with them one-on-one like a human being you don't feel them you feel like you can say mean things yeah you can go after them

you you almost want it you almost want people to go after them you almost want bad things to happen just to see if what's your what you're doing this game is effective. Yeah. You know Jamie Kilstein, right? I do, yeah. Jamie talked real openly on the podcast about who he used to be and who he is. Oh, yeah. He used to do that. He used to do that, go after people. And he's real open about how he was just completely 100% virtue signaling.

Yeah. He just wanted people to like him. And he said, he goes, I would be walking down the street and i just had to check my phone constantly because to see what how do people respond in my text or my tweet how do people respond to you know i'm attacking some senator for you fucking bigot you homophobe and i'm just checking this thing constantly and then yeah and then afterwards they came after him because you can never be virtuous enough never never there's no one out there that's virtuous enough and if you're going to be cruel to people get ready because it's coming back at you it's coming back to you and that's the beauty

like you know i like i mean i i never want to shame other people for that shit like just if you make a mistake you say something fucking stupid so be it like who am i to sit there and get mad at somebody i mean believe me people come at me i mean my preferences are not always fucking popular online either i mean you know of course I get called horrible shit I just don't it doesn't bother me but I mean I'm a 51 year old man too

when you're 51 and you've come to the environment to stand up for 30 years it's a little easier to have a thicker skin sometimes too whereas somebody

who is 19 or 20 who has been raised in this fucking this psychotic fake polite culture because it's not polite it. Because it's not polite. It's vicious. It's fake polite.

Right. And then when they start getting insulted, I don't know if they a lot of times know how to process that. No, most people don't. And, you know, you also understand what it is that's causing people to behave the way they're behaving. Whereas a 19-year-old just thinks they're terrible and they need to die. I mean, this is one of the things that's so awful about kids that get bullied online and wind up killing themselves. Like you didn't, you know, you had to just get through that. If you got through that, you would understand what it is. You know, you'd understand that these people, these are just these, anybody that's saying that to you,

that's a damaged person. They're all fucked up themselves. And if you were around them personally, you and them alone in a room, I guarantee you, they wouldn't do that to you. No, most, and most of them, you wouldn you they wouldn't do that to you. No. And most of them, you wouldn't even want to do it to them. You've talked to people and most of them, you're like, oh, your hands feel the same as anybody else when I shake them. I'm like, hey. And you realize they're okay. Yes.

The separation that social media gives us along with the connection. You get this connection where it's like you can send a tweet out and maybe it can reach people and they go, oh, that's kind of cool. And there is this weird connection. But the disconnect, like the emotional and the social disconnect, the lack of social cues between two people when you're just communicating online, that is that's not good for us. We're not supposed to communicate like that. Yeah, no, it's bad. It's impersonal. personal it's it's kind of dangerous to a lot of people because it gives you this false sense of

of you know you like you're like you're not saying something that's going to hurt someone you like if you were in front of that person you wouldn't want them to cry but you want them to cry if you're not there like you want to say the most vicious mean shit when they're not there when people like you know and again we mentioned ari you know i know i know you love ari i love ari i've known him for many years when you're when when someone says dumb shit and people do say dumb shit and then there's people get there are times people are justifiably mad at you like hey look you said something really stupid publicly so people heard that in the middle of their grief and they're like hey fuck you pal like

people are angry yeah but then it gets to a point where that day has passed and then there are people who just want to hurt you for it. There's people who just want to punish you. There's people who just want to see you suffer. So how do you tell all the time who's just reacting to something you said?

Because as a comedian, I say public things. People who are in the public with me have the right to say something. Yes. Yeah. Well, I think what Ari did, you have to come up with a new word. I don't think dumb is good enough We need a better word. It's it was so stupid, but it's also what you said earlier that you got to keep ramping it up Yeah, dude think we were talking about earlier. Was that before the podcast? I think it was before I not I think yeah

what the The thing is when you do outrageous things just to get people to like, oh, look at Jimmy's crazy. Yeah. You get caught in a trap, and you keep doing it more and more outrageous. And with Ari, he's always done this thing where when people die, he would make the meanest comment, even about someone he loved, like Tom Petty. He said some horrible shit about Tom Petty andtha franklin and all these different people that died but he just did it for shock value yeah and you gotta keep upping that every time like every time someone dies people like his sicko fans would go straight to ari and want ari to comment on it. Right. And, you know, it's a trap, man.

That's a terrible trap. And you see guys lean into those things, right? Like it becomes a part of their persona. It becomes a part of their identity. Well, the trap is also when you, if there's something you don't want to say, or if you're like, nah, that's too fucked up to say, but if I don't say it,

they're going to think that I'm selling out or I'm not the same performer like you have to be willing to disappoint people that want to hear that too if you're going to survive in that kind of in doing that stuff yeah I don't know how what's going to happen with Ari like how he's going to get through this but in

some ways and I never want to say it is a good thing that he did that but he needed to know that there are consequences for just saying ridiculous shit that you're not supposed to say when people die. And the really fucked up thing about Ari is he's a really good guy, but in his persona sometimes he's a heel and he does it on purpose. in his persona sometimes he's a heel and he does it on purpose yeah you know and so like you see that video and he's ang you know he's like smiling and laughing because kobe bryant's dead that's his heel persona yeah and he thinks he's playing up like oh this is gonna be great people are gonna be so mad but he had no idea he had no idea he misjudged the country's grief oh yeah and obviously

i think there's he didn't know who else was on the helicopter i believed his explanation when i read his explanation i believed it like i don't when i first saw it i didn't know if he was serious or not i mean i know what he does but i just saw that clip i'm like maybe he hated him i didn't he didn't um i didn't know what he was doing but then when i read his explanation i believed him one part of me feels responsible this is why i convinced him that he could have an iPhone and that he could be okay just put a timer on it I go just put a timer on it I go my daughter has a timer on her phone she can only use it for an hour a day just put a timer on your

phone and he should have stuck with a fucking flip phone man yeah he had a lady that was uh posting for him a friend of his like I think he gave her some money, and he would send his tweets to her, stuff like that, and then she would post them for him. I think that's how it went. And that's way better because then you've got a filter system where she could call him up. What the fuck is wrong with you? And he'd be like, whoa, what did I say?

No, I'm not saying that, asshole. He's like, all right, you're right, you're right. What should I say? And there was a humanity level. Also, Ari is legitimately insane. He's definitely got layers of insanity that he battles with. He does, and

it's funny, when I hosted Down and Dirty with Jim Norton, and there was a bunch of comedians on. Ari was one of the comedians I had on, and at the end of his set, he took his dick out. He fucking pulled his pants and took his dick out on HBO, and they were were furious and no one knew he was gonna do it I had to go out and shake his hand with his fucking pants around his ankles and he waved at the crowd And I don't even remember if that made the final cut, but that's 2008

So, you know somebody who has a reputation of just doing completely crazy shit Yeah, it doesn't surprise me when the person does something that is crazy. No, he's always gotten a certain amount of attention for doing ridiculous. He's the wild man, you know? He doesn't have any responsibilities. He lives like a vagabond. He's made a ton of money, but he lives in a tiny apartment. That was always the reputation.

Now, I guess he lives with his girl. But he never bought a car. He had the shittiest, oldest, most fucked up car. It was a manual transmission car because that was cheaper. Ari is so frugal. He would get mad at people. Why are you spending your money? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why are you buying a nice car? That, to Ari, was the dumbest shit you could ever do. He wanted to hoard all his money and then not have any responsibility. He wanted to make sure that he could just disappear and go to China for three months and just hang out. Not owe anybody anything. Not owe anybody anything and be free. Be, like, legitimately free. So, like, anytime he felt like he was trapped in any sort of corporate structure or anything, he would fucking panic.

trapped in any sort of corporate structure or anything like he would fucking panic you know like and that's one of the you know it's it's one of the parts of his personality that where he kind of leans into this like sort of outsider role you know he he doesn't want too much success like he would get mad when people started uh taking pictures with him after the sober october shows he's like you fucking assholes made me too famous. He goes, I can't even go anywhere. I'm like, that is the most hilarious thing to say. He was actually mad that he was going places

and people wanted to take pictures with him. No, but is it really that he didn't like it or is it like sometimes you get afraid of it because then you taste it and you're afraid

it's going to go away. That's one thing with success. The more of it you get, the more scared you are that they're going to rob you of it. I don't think so with Ari. With Ari, I think he actually didn't like it.

He likes a certain amount of anonymity. It's one of the reasons why he liked going to Asia. That's why he went there on vacation because no one knew who he was. He got recognized like twice in four months the entire time he was there. He loved it. Yeah, he loved it. He should go there right now. Yeah, it might be a good time to lay low. He might want to move there.

I just don't know how often I mean, or how long it'll take before this, if it does at all, blows over. He made that little sort of explanation on his Instagram, but it might almost be better if he did a video. Yeah, you almost have to humanize yourself and discuss what happened. Because it's very hard to explain that to people. Because then they're like, yeah, there's dumb friends that are defending him. No one's defending him. No one's defending what he said no one's defending him you know i would never defend what he said but what i would say is there's like

i'm not a moron i'm friends with him i love the guy it's not because he's a bad guy he's a great guy he's one of my smartest friends he's very interesting but he's also we're all crazy i don't know a single goddamn funny person that's not crazy yeah but his crazy is a different kind of self-destructive crazy it's a different kind of crazy you know you have your crazy i got my crazy robert kelly's got his crazy everyone's got their own crazy you know there's there's something that compels you to want to be on stage in front of all those fucking people talking every night, telling jokes, doing it on a podcast, doing it on the radio. It's a real weird personality that causes people to do things like that.

Yeah. And you're around people who are doing it and who are doing it really well. And then you see them getting more and more successful. And then there's like, you don't want to watch everybody pass you by either. Right. So you're like, oh, this thing works for me. Let me just keep doing this thing. Right.

And then you kind of get married to doing that thing that works for you. Yeah, you lean into it. You lean into what you love. And I've seen that happen with people where all of a sudden they seem like white nationalists. Like, what is going on? And I realize, oh, that's where they're getting attention from. They're getting attention from all these people that are like, you know of they're kind of like into white nationalism and so they start leaning into that i'm like was that guy always like that did he hide it from me like

how did i not see that i just thought he was conservative and then i think what it is is like that's where their bread's being buttered that's where they're getting attention and so they they like yeah yeah go tell them go get them yeah it's white people have been the one the founding people this country and white people this white people and you see them start to repeat those sentiments and you go oh okay you're leaning into the attention that's what's going on here because people they're like you and they're showing you love so it's kind of hard to risk losing people who love you as well as a performer we're terrified of it well especially when you start developing an audience and that audience is like you know

that's those are the people that actually like you they actually love you they actually will come pay to see you that and so you go okay what do i have to do to get them do you mean like here's a good example like my early act when i first started doing stand-up was terrible but what i realized that there was three stages of stand-up in my career the first stage was i was doing anything to get a laugh yeah and it was basically like a tool like uh i was like i had a ruler or a hammer or a nail and i had no connection to that material i would tell joke jokes like street jokes someone told me a street joke i would tell that on stage it was no there was no art to it i was just terrified and i wanted to get laughs then once i

started doing pretty good and started i would work professionally and i was getting some gigs and stuff then i started doing stuff that i thought was funny and i was i remember being so happy with that because i'd be like instead of being so scared of like just being out there and god gotta get a laugh gotta get a laugh gotta get a laugh what are, I gotta get a laugh. Gotta get a laugh. Gotta get a laugh. What are you going to do? Get a laugh. Instead of that, then I would get into like, what do I think is funny? Right. And then,

and then I was go, here's what's fucked up to me. Like, why is this? And then like people go, that's really smart. Like I remember people saying like, Oh,

that's good material. Your new stuff. I love your new stuff. I'm like, Oh, okay. Finally I'm doing stuff that other people that I like, like people that appreciate things that I appreciate would think are funny.

Then once I got better at that and I became like a real, like a headliner and established, then I started turning ideas into comedy. Then I would turn ideas like I had some complicated ideas that I worked on for years to try to turn into bits. And one of them was the de-evolution of man. Like I put it on my 2005 Netflix special. I don't even know it's on Netflix anymore. It's just called Joe Rogan Live from 2005. And it was a bit that I worked on for years about how dumb people outbred smart people.

And that's what the pyramids are. Like we outfuck the smart people and they just left us with and that's what the pyramids are. Like, we outfucked the smart people, and they just left us with a bunch of shit we don't understand. And it was this long, it took me forever to work that bit in. And that bit to me was like, it was like, okay, now I understand how to turn a concept into a bit. Not just things that I think are funny, but things that I think are interesting,

and try to get those interesting ideas and put them into stand up for and things you want to say. Like the key for comedians and where a lot of comics go wrong is like it's got to be funny, too. Like we have to be funny while we're like I never go on the stage and think I'm going to teach the audience a fucking I'm not going to educate the fucking audience. I hate that. If they learn anything from it or if they like it It's got to be funny first though It has to be fucking funny And I look at my old stuff man

Oh it's bad Oh me too Fucking that was a character Happy go lucky You know how we doing Like oh it's repulsive Dude it's fucking repulsive But isn't it so nice you got through that

And now you're something different Thank god I got through it yeah I just started standing there And talking and being more comfortable We used to do that thing on Opie and Anthony Where you would dissect your old stand up And I brought in a 1993 Stand up tape and Colin Patrice

Voss and I think Paul Mercurio is the other comedian Dissected it on Opie and Anthony. It is really funny. It's humiliating. I've got some old videos, man. I couldn't even pull them out. They're embarrassing, right?

Oh, they're terrible. Because they're revealing. It's like, look how hard I was trying. I wanted to be liked so bad. Do you ever go over your old writing? Yeah, I have every joke I've ever written. I used to write them on packing slips when I worked in a fucking, when I worked for

Christoph Silver. What's Christoph Silver? It's a very high-end silverware place and I worked in a packing I would be like shipping and receiving. So I would write these on the back of fragile stickers, all these jokes and yeah, I have all that shit. Do you know who Owen Smith is? Owen Smith? Yes. Dude, he's one of the

best comics in the world. He's one of those guys. I'm working with him actually tonight at the improv. But he's one of those guys, when he's on stage, I'm like, how the fuck do people not know who he is? Because he got a lot of writing gigs. He was writing for a lot of sitcoms, a lot of different really well-paying writing gigs. And he has a family. So he didn't do the road.

He didn't really travel a lot. But he's a fucking murderer, man. Yeah, he's he's funny anyway he had this concept for a show and i filmed an episode of it i don't know what he's done with it yet but it was bring your old notebook so i i found all these notebooks that i still have and i busted them out i was amazed i mean i have notebooks from the like 91 92 and it was so bad i even even had built-in ad libs and built-in reactions from the audience. Then someone from the audience would say this, and then I would say that. And I'm like, I didn't know. I remember in the beginning trying to sit and write.

And literally being such a moron, I had such a piss-poor grasp of the English language, first of all. And then second of all, just sitting there, no idea how to write things just no idea and so i would just write and hope a joke would come out of it and it never did so i kept back in those days the only time i came up with good bits was literally either talking to my friends and laughing usually when we were drinking or uh on stage like occasionally on stage i would come up with an idea. And then I would, you know, sort of foster it or feed it and try to make it grow. But going over that fucking material was so painfully embarrassing. It was so bad. It's humiliating, the old stuff.

I don't mind reading it, though, because my persona is what I hated more than my writing. So watching myself perform those old bits, because I had like the baggy workout pants, like bodybuilder pants. Dude, I was such a cunt. I was so awful when I started. The writing I can look at because it's detached from the fucking little character I would do on stage. It's funny how there's some styles that just don't make it.

But for a while, everybody has them. And then everybody wakes up like, what the fuck are we wearing? Yeah. Do you remember Cavaricci's? I do, of course. I ate gigantic plates of shit one day on stage wearing Cavaricci's. And I'll never forget how stupid I felt. They're tight here and then baggy from the thighs out.

And I'm wearing these stupid things and I'm on stage and I'm bombing. And I remember looking down at the way I was dressed and I had a button-up shirt. And I followed Jim Brewer. It was a pivotal moment in my career because I bombed so hard. I really tightened up my act after that. I really got to work because it was the most painful bombing I ever had.

But I'm standing there with Cavaricci's on with a nice shirt, like a dress shirt, like I'm going to the club. Yeah, dressed like an entertainer. Oh, dickhead. What a dickhead. And then I i'm looking down these fucking terrible pants and those pants were this shit for like two years or three years and then everybody was like what the fuck are we wearing and they just went away wasn't all they do it there was like a members only jacket with it or like capizio

shoes do you have a capizio shoes i do but do, but I can't picture them in my head. Jamie, pull up Capizio shoes. Yeah, I remember them from, I want to say early 90s or late, might have been late 80s, but I remember a guy I knew, a sober guy I knew. We used to go to these sober dances, which were very fucking depressing. Like I would do that when I was 18 and 19. Wow. Just to go try to meet girls.

And they're sober too. Yeah. And they're all suspicious of you you just want to fuck Me I know what's going on here now I would just kind of stand There just kind of stand there That's a capizio no that's Not well the black one maybe Oh yeah there you go that's kind of like bowling shoes

Oh yeah yeah yeah That with cavaricis yes Oh like you're a ballet dancer Yeah they were not good I want to get Aladdin shoes Go up right there Click on that No the Aladdin shoes

The curly tip ones Look at that That's We gotta bring those bitches back Elf shoes Somebody who somewhere Wore elf shoes Right

But that's the core Jester thing though That was like to make The king laugh You kinda They're dressed like an asshole Right Can you imagine

Being a fucking You're basically A bad comedian dancing around for a murderous dictator yeah and if you did anything to piss them off they just cut your fucking head off in front of everybody yeah bring me another one you probably became a good comedian fast because you knew you read the room you knew exactly what you could say what you couldn't say you knew who to go after who not to go after I would love to have seen what it would be like to be a court jester in front of Henry VIII. Yeah. Like some murderous fucking ruthless king who just...

Didn't Henry VIII kill a bunch of his wives? I think he did. Didn't he want to get divorced to just cut their fucking heads off? Yeah. Wasn't he married to Anne Boleyn? Am I remembering a different... I'm assuming I remember her name. I don't know who that is.

Anne Boleyn. Yeah. I want to say that was one of his wives, but I could her name. I don't know who that is. Anne Boleyn. Yeah, I want to say that was one of his wives, but I could be wrong. I don't know who that is. I'm a dropout, so it might have been something I'm conflating two stories. Well, I dropped out too. I didn't drop out of high school, but I dropped out of college. How many years did you do? Second wife.

Three. What is it? His second wife. Anne Boleyn was, right? Anne Boleyn. Did he behead her? She fell on her sword. Yeah.

She slipped. It was a mistake. No big deal. I thought he killed her I could be he killed a few of them I believe yeah yeah but you wonder what the bombing was like for those guys like oh like there's a certain a court gesture the pressure and would bombing get you killed or would you have another day well imagine right how many times have you said a joke on the air and it didn't really go well? You took a swing and everybody's like,

Jimmy, what the fuck? I fucking tried. Sorry. But if you do that in front of a king, you know? There's an Opie and Anthony clip called Jim Norton's Epic Carpet Bombing where it's a fucking,

it was one day where I just had nothing. Like I was on no sleep and I come fucking, it was one day where I just had nothing. Like I was on no sleep, and I come in, I was wired, and I bombed for the entire four-hour radio show. And there's probably a 12-minute clip of just me bombing throughout the four hours. The more comfortable you get, the more freeing it gets, too.

You know what I mean? You get more comfortable bombing, and you can kind of embrace it and soak in what it is. Oh, God. I love those old clips. We are so lucky. I mean, you were a giant part of that show,

but I feel real lucky that I was a part of that show. I really do. I feel like with guys, like guys like me in comics, that to us was the most comfortable environment we could ever find yeah like i i enjoyed doing preston and steve and you know and doing k-rock and you know kevin and bean and doing all these different radio shows i really enjoyed yeah no doubt but there was something about opie

and anthony where i would get so excited when i was good when i was there when i was in new york there was not a question of whether or not I was going to go. If you guys were going to have me, like, fuck yeah. We would get up early. We would smoke weed. We'd come in barbecued. We'd just be so happy to be there.

I'd take edibles. I would always have edible lollipops. I couldn't wait to be on air with you guys because you could be what you were if you were hanging out at the store. Yeah. Like if we're hanging out

in the back bar of the comedy store and everybody's just talking shit and laughing that's what it was like on Opie and Anthony and there was no other environment where you could just be

just comics being comics just hanging out. Yeah going back and forth being mean to each other. Yes. I mean it was some vicious Voss the Voss must have

Skin like a fucking rhino He does He does And a brain like one The beatings that he would take But he was also Rich is so fast too Oh yeah

That Voss was a guy That you could hit him You could hit him But like as soon as you turn around When he hits you back It was a fucking A killer line Yeah And Voss is really Really Bobby is great at that Oh yeah him but like as soon as you turn around when he hits you back it was it was a fucking a killer line yeah and boss is really really uh bobby is great at that oh yeah just fucking uh what you'd

walk into the comedy cellar and they're laughing before you get there yeah it's gonna be a long fucking night yeah it's gonna be a long night boss you know boss was a master at dealing with hecklers and shitty crowds you know i did so many bad gigs with vos oh my god we did so many fucking bob levy gigs remember bob i love bobby levy i just talked to him yes tell him i said hi i love him he used to book gigs i did a couple of his gigs with with with vos he's having a hard time he had a fucking accident and his neck is fucked up so he's trying he's getting insurance is fucking him around he's trying to get his neck he got i think got rear-ended, and he is trying to get the auto insurance to pay for his surgery. He can't work.

But I believe he's had a hard time, man. So is that a disc issue in his neck? Is that what it is? I think so, yeah. But he's fucked up. He's in a lot of pain, and he's trying to— Oh, that sucks. Yeah, it sucks, man.

He's always been a good guy. Dude, a lot of those guys, him, Jim Florentine, a lot of those guys, I wouldn't have a career without those guys. How's he doing? I haven't seen him in a while. Florentine's doing well. He's got a podcast now on Barstool, so he's starting to do something that's really going to get him a huge new audience. Dude, I just heard they sold Barstool for $450 million. I see you nodding.

Wow. Yeah, they got an investment or a deal they made with Penn Gaming, who owns a bunch of casinos, including the Tropicana thing in Vegas. They get like 36% now in a few years. They can go out like 50% depending on how... Jesus Christ. The stock's way up already.

They have stock? Well, that Penn Gaming company does, so yeah. Oh, imagine Barstool had stock? Well, now you can invest in them, I guess. We need JRE stock. I wonder if it would have gone up last week. Once you become a publicly traded company, isn't that when this shit all happens? When everybody, they try to kick you out like fucking, what's his name, John Schnatter from Papa John's? Like they start getting ready to boot you out of your own company because you say something stupid.

Oh, you definitely can. Yeah. That definitely can happen. Yeah. As soon as you're involved. I'm just kidding about that. I would not want JRE stock. I remember Bob Levy had a girl over his house.

I got laid so infrequent in the old days. And he had a pretty girl at his house who liked me. And my father drove me there. I was probably 22 years old. What was the worst snowstorm of the century at the time? And my father drove me eight I was probably 22 years old And in a snow What was the worst snowstorm Of the century at the time And my father drove me Eight miles During the snowstorm?

During the snowstorm To Bob Levy's house To get laid And I fucked this girl In the bathroom Bobby's bathroom And I was standing in cat litter And I was

What a good dad you have Yeah my dad's a great guy Yeah but he knew I told him Dad there's a great guy, yeah, but he knew. I told him, Dad, there's a girl there, you know. Oh, God. And I think he just wanted to, he was happy I said that, so he was just like, all right, I'll take you. I don't miss driving in the snow, but I do miss,

there's certain parts about driving in the snow that I do miss. Like, when you actually made it. Like, it was hard to do, hard to get home, but when you got home boy did you appreciate being home you felt great yeah when you actually got where you had to go close the door yeah you sit down fucking make some hot chocolate or something watch tv you like felt so comfortable i'm home it's warm uh like you don't appreciate good weather unless you experience shit weather that's right but I don't miss doing

the gigs. I mean, I still do them, but when you're driving like in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where they're two and a half hours over the hills to get to the gig, and it was like panic-stricken because I'm afraid I'm going to hit black ice. I remember one, I was so bad at driving that I had to park my car and call my girlfriend to come

and pick me up at her sports car. It was such a humiliating moment as a man to have to pull over and go i can't drive on the ice oh my girlfriend had to come and pick me up and then she took a sports car that's hilarious yeah i didn't realize what a fucking oh my god my father's tourists i remember driving once and the snow was so bad i was having a hard time discerning where the road is yeah i couldn't figure out where this the road what's the side of the road because the snow was so deep. It was getting to the point where it was hard to see where the road was. You know,

that's where shit gets weird. Yeah. When you're driving like through the Adirondacks or upstate New York, where there's no light, it's black, it's black. And then there's fog. And then there's a snow coming out.

It is really. And you're like, I'm 51. I've been driving since I was 19. And I'm still, I was like, shut up. Just do 20. You got to do 20. You can't, you can't blow through this. Like you're like, I'm 51. I've been driving since I was 19. And I'm still, it's like, shut up. Just do 20.

You got to do 20. You can't blow through this like you're an experienced driver. Well, every time I used to be on the highway and I would be driving slow and carefully, there'd always be that one dipshit that goes flying by. Just goes flying by. Like, he knows how to drive in the snow better than anybody. And you're a bunch of pussies. You can't handle it.

And he's fucking. And you'd always hope to see him wrapped around a pole about a mile down but you never did i saw a car carrier fall over once that was wild with wind um no he jackknifed jackknifed in the snow and uh wiped out fucking cars scatter all over the highway it was wild it was wild it was but he just he slipped I saw him losing it, and by the time I got there, he was tipped over, and the cars were hanging out.

He just lost control of this. You know, those fucking things, they're so unwieldy. You know, you got 13 cars stacked up on this crane thing behind you, and this guy just lost his shit, and it was just so snowy. I was heading to Western Massachusetts

to try to get laid. Not even for a gig? It was for a girl. Girl I was dating. I wasn't doing comedy back then. I think I was 17. 17 or 18. I barely could drive.

Terrible driving. And I remember this long trip to Western Massachusetts. It was long normally. It was like a couple hours normally. But now, with all the snow and everything, it was brutal.

Did you make it? I made it. Yeah. I made it. yeah, it's crazy what we do to get laid back in those days Oh my god, and now it's like look if you don't hit me up on Instagram, it's just not fucking happening I'm gonna tell you I can't do it anymore. Well, you know, this is what I was trying to explain to someone Once that when you know a woman actually when you are-year-old boy, you are a drug addict, okay? And you're a drug addict for sex. And you've only been having sex for a little while. For me, it was like two years. I think I got laid when I was 16.

So it was like two years. And just you're a straight-up junkie. And sex was the most exciting thing of your life. Like it was so much more exciting than anything else i did so much more interesting than anything else i did and i wanted it so bad and then you're so horny you know that like you all you're thinking about is how you could possibly have sex yeah and so what do i gotta wear what do i gotta say what do i gotta do where do i gotta drive what do i i mean you don't realize what immense power it has over your life.

And I think it has a lot of power over women's lives. Obviously, I've never been a woman, so I don't know what it feels like to want dick. But I would imagine it's probably pretty similar, which is why there's so many fucking people on the planet. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a 50-50 pull, I would say. But a lot of times it's not even the sex. I remember being a teenager and I would pick up, I would go out and get and get a hooker and then afterwards my favorite part would be talking to her on the way back really like i loved talking like i i really i think a lot of it was i misidentified being lonely with wanting sex like there was times i was horny but there was times where i would come

or i would i wouldn't be able to come and i would just jerk off and i'd be like no i can't come but then i would just sit let's let's talk for a little while. Like I'm always, my favorite part was talking to them, driving them back, getting to know them. How many did you talk to? Every girl I had picked up.

And so you would have like long conversations. Did they enjoy the conversation? When they, when they were willing, but again, they were people I knew cause I would see them all the time. Okay. Right.

Um, or they would see me driving around and this is, you know, commercial Avenue in New Brunswick in the mid eighties. So they would see me Driving around And this is you know Commercial Avenue In New Brunswick In you know The mid 80s So Yeah

They would Yeah I mean I think they liked it A little bit I mean it was probably different I wasn't aggressive I was pleasant Right

It's probably They're probably happy That someone was being nice to them Well you could always tell When you drove back To where you got them If they just jumped out Okay they just wanted

The ride back Right And then there was times They would just sit in the car They're great Drive around the block We'll smoke And you know Right Sometimes they would ask you To do car. They're going to drive around the block. We'll smoke.

And, you know, sometimes they would ask you to do that. So they could have a cigarette and a conversation. Yeah, man, it's got to be so weird to find yourself. You're a hooker. Yeah, I look back on it now and it's like, I do think it should be legal. I don't think people should tell other people they don't have the right to do it. But I look back and I'm like, how many people were they in situations that I didn't didn't know of like were there people being forced to do shit that i didn't know were being right forced to do shit and that's kind of something that's been a little

fucking with you yeah it's been fucking with me a little bit well you remember they tried to pin that on robert craft the guy who owns the patriots who went to a massage parlor to get jerked off yeah and they were they were saying they were charging him with participating in sex trafficking it was just a completely fabricated right accusation because the women that were there turns out no they're just regular women that massage guys and then jerk them off afterwards yeah but they put that out there so it was out there no matter what like it it hit the press it hit this guy and so he had to sort of like deal with this even though he's like this fucking guy who's worth billions of dollars which is thousands of millions folks just think of owning thousands of millions of dollars still couldn't keep the shame of getting jerked off

you know as like a 69 70 year old man or something like that they're coming back at him with something else now too for the same case yeah there's something else that just it just got talked about again um i don't know exactly what the prosecutor's throwing at him but sometimes a prosecutor i think sees something that hey we can get a lot of mileage on this yeah and uh because nothing happened to craft the first time i think they're coming back at him with something updated well i also think that this is what i've said this about law enforcement too, when you play a game, and here's the game, I arrest you, I want to convict you.

Here's the game. You try to get out of it. I don't want you to get out of it. Now we're in competition. It's a game. It's not a game. Obviously, it's the law, and obviously, you know, people should be arrested. Don't misconstrue what I'm saying, but whenever someone is trying to do something, and the other person doesn't want you to do something, people get competitive.

And people withhold evidence. They lie. I mean, there's been so many fucking cases of prosecutors withholding evidence that could have people released. Kenneth Niffong in the Duke rape case. Didn't he get disbarred for that? Or he did some shady shit well there's a lot of those cases it's not just him i mean how many different uh detectives have withheld evidence prosecuting attorneys have withheld evidence it's like you know you know

who's fucking amazing at helping people with this shit is kim kardashian yes she is kim kardashian has gotten some fuck i think it's like the latest count was like 18 people were leased who were unjustly accused of crimes. Yeah. Fucking insane, man. Yeah, well, she kind of has, I mean, they kind of have like a direct line to the president, so they at least have some resource to go to if they need it. But she doesn't have to do that. That lady's worth fucking hundreds of millions of dollars. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

But she's doing that with her spare time it's it's really incredible i've completely stopped making fun of her yeah i respect the fact that she did that too it's like she could be doing a lot more stuff with her time and she's just she's helping people so yeah um yeah i never really fucked with her that much paris certainly had a bad interview with so i didn't really care for her what you had a bad interview on yeah they told us be nice to her who told you to be nice to public yeah we promised we wouldn't be confrontational so i remember i watched the recent opie film but we weren't supposed to film it but opie had a camera going and uh i was just getting really annoyed because she was being very distant like uh so what happened so you go to this store right it's like you have to watch it

and i'm like that's not a way to promote To tell people you have to watch it So this is when she had a television show Yeah sorry I keep fucking with the mic It's a terrible habit I have It's my OCD just kidding Keep moving It's really irritating me that I'm doing it

But it just wasn't a good interview We wanted to be really cruel to her Because I didn't think she was being nice I thought she was being not nice to us But we had promised we wouldn't So it just came off as awkward and weird I forgot that she had a TV show She's one that sort of

Slipped into obscurity on purpose It seems like She's making a fucking billion a year She's making money doing her I think she's got a whole bunch of stuff That's got her name on it But it seems like she's making money doing her private i think she's got like a whole bunch of stuff that she that's got her name on it so right but it seems like she's taking herself out of the public eye i think yeah for a lot of them they realize like hey this isn't good for you you know the sting of all this scrutiny and people hating you people fucking hated her man yeah they did

she represented this vapid you know sort of trend i wanted to like her, too. I wanted to be, I did not want to dislike her for that reason. I'm like, it's too easy. Like, all these guys hate her. But then she came in, I'm like, eh, I get it. I get it. Because it wasn't pleasant. I didn't hate her. I just was like, ah, come on. That could have been better. I wonder, like,

what's the matter, Jamie? I was looking, she's got a documentary coming out. It just came out. Oh, super important to hear watch that documentary oh you know what i heard is amazing the aaron hernandez documentary it's good i heard it's incredible yeah i saw it's three parts probably could have been two sometimes netflix will do three when they could do two but it was very good um interesting to hear him talk about the sexuality and the whole I was under the illusion and it's funny because I talk about his hanging I do a suicide hung I get this

I'm on Netflix I have this degenerates and part of it is suicide and hanging and I reference his and I get one part of it wrong because I thought he was in jail for killing I didn't realize he didn't get convicted of killing those first two people he didn't? no

what was he in jail for? I didn't realize he didn't get convicted of killing those first two people. He didn't? No. No. What was he in jail for? The one guy. Not the other two. I didn't realize he was acquitted of that. So I got that part wrong. So I'm saying what you- He killed three people?

That's what he was believed to, but I believe it was only one person. And the two people he was acquitted. I was shocked to realize that i was like well fuck i already did the bit god damn yeah he really hung himself too like he really committed to it they didn't go into the hanging as much that was i wanted the details of that because i read the details about what he did to prevent himself from being saved i'm like i hope i got that right because i read that he put detergent on the floor so the guards wouldn't be able to get their footing. He put like cardboard in the fucking, in the doors they couldn't open so it would jam.

Like I heard he did all that, but the documentary didn't go into that. I kind of wish they had, unless I'm wrong. Well, they said that he had extreme CTE. Yeah. Extreme. And I think there are a lot of people out there like that. There's a lot of people out there that are playing pro football, fighters, anybody involved in, like, extreme contact sports that have extreme CTE.

It scares the fuck out of me, man. You know, I fell skiing recently. Banged my head real bad. I was skiing, going around this this corner and this lady uh she seemed like she was new she was uh like on a slope trying to get her skis back under her and she slid right into the trail and i saw her and i was like fuck and i tried to get away from her my my leg went sideways and i fell back and bang hit the back of my head off the ground. I have a crack in my shin bone. It's called an insufficiency fracture.

It's like right where your cartilage meets your shin bone. The bone is like a crack in my bone. I mean, I hit hard. Can you do anything or it just heals? It just heals. It's actually fine. I mean, it was probably a month or so ago. It doesn't cause me any pain anymore. I knew something was wrong and I got an MRI on it.

But what I was really worried about was my head. Because I've been hit in the head so many fucking times. So many times. I don't know how many times I've been hit in the head. Kicked in the head. Punched in the head. You know, head butts. Knees to the head.

So many times. And you wonder, like, what's in there? You know, like when you see a guy like Aaron Hernandez, who was 28 years old, I think. And they said he had the brain of like a fucking 80-year-old Alzheimer's patient. Like his brain was fucked. Yeah, his decision making. What does it say here? It hits you in the front, I think.

Aaron Hernandez suffered from the most severe CTE ever found in a person his age. Yeah. See, I don't think I have CTE like that. So he was 27. I don't think I have it like that, but I was 27 I don't think I have it like that But I have it Do you think you have it? A hundred percent Yeah

Does everybody get it though? Does everybody who takes shots? Yeah I think everybody gets it You get a little bit of it Don't you worry about Too traumatic brain injury When you fall like that

Like what Liam Neeson's wife died of Yes That's fucking scary for a fall Yeah I mean You know once I was okay you know a few days later i wasn't necessarily worried about that but i definitely i think i had a concussion because i was real dizzy afterwards and i was i felt weird like i felt off and then uh i was with my

daughter my 11 year old and we were getting on the uh the fucking ski lift and i spazzed and uh i i got a little too far ahead like when the ski lift comes and then i tried to go back because i was in the wrong place i i moved to you know like i should have waited for the next one to come and then i didn't and then i fell down and then i couldn't get back up so i was just i was dizzy i was like a little bit out of it and my daughter didn't know that i fell down you know and then i'm like i'm a little out of it i hit my head and she's like when did you hit your head you didn't hit your head and i'm like not now i'm like just i just then had hit my head like the whole rest of the day i was like not talking that good i was like a little out of it yeah like i got rocked it was a bang like my head my legs went out and it was just back of the head on hard, packed snow.

I got knocked out by a baseball when I was a kid. I was so dumb. My sinuses are so fucked up. Part of me thinks I've taken two baseballs, one really hard line drive to the middle of my face. I was underhand pitching to my friend Rob, probably from here to your TV, and he drilled the line drive into my fucking face. And I woke up and I was on the ground and he was standing over me, panic stricken that I was dead.

And then there was another time where I was a fly ball and I just misjudged it and it split my head open. Did you get your nose checked? Yeah, I've got surgery. I got to go back for surgery. I'm going Monday to actually see somebody. I'm a fucking kid. Have you had the surgery before? Yeah, it didn't do much. It was, I don't know if I got to go back for surgery. I'm going Monday to actually see somebody. I'm a fucking kid. Have you had the surgery before? Yeah, it didn't do much.

It was, I don't know if I- Deviated septum surgery? Yeah, but it's just not enough. Didn't work? No. Plus, I take Cialis, so that might fuck me up with your turbinates opening and swelling a little bit. Yeah.

I don't know. It changed my life. I had it done. I know. You're the one who got me on the whole mouth guard thing. Yeah. I don't have the one you have with the one that pushes the tongue down i have one that put your good girl forward like it makes it possible to fall asleep but it doesn't keep me asleep you

should get the tongue down one man next time you're here i'll bring you to that that doctor's office that does those yeah i really do need that but i don't think i can get used to that you can i do i sleep like a baby with it i shove that fucker in there i've had one for years and you don't need a mask no no i don't need a mask but i don't snore i don't snore anymore but if i take that fucker like if i go to sleep and i don't pay attention to me my wife punches me she's like wake up you're snoring oh she doesn't punch me but you know she wakes you wake up wake up you're lying because i'm like yeah you know um i've lost a lot of weight recently i wonder if my snoring would be less Wake up You're lying Because I'm like Yeah You know I've lost a lot of weight recently

I wonder if my snoring would be less Because I lost weight in my face I lost weight in my neck I lost weight everywhere On purpose? Yeah I went on this carnivore diet I lost 12 pounds

In a month Just eating only meat Yeah That doesn't scare you? No Why should it scare you? Meat always scares me Because I've always heard that cancer loves meat yeah that doesn't scare you no why is it scary meat always scares me because i've always heard that cancer loves meat so that's always frightening cancer loves sugar yeah that's what that's i whole 30 is what i i put weight on i probably put 15 pounds on and

i'm so angry at myself because i have to wear a suit and my pants don't fit like i really have to wear a suit i'm just presenting something tomorrow. What are you presenting? It's an award show, but it's not televised. It's an art director award or something. So they asked me to do it, and I never get asked to do that shit, so I have to wear my suit. I have to buy a new suit after this. Oh, boy.

I won't buy clothes. I'd just rather be uncomfortable. But I was such a fat twat. I look at myself yesterday. I'm like, you fucking pig. I really had a meltdown last night. I forgot my pants. All I have is suit pants. I don't have regular jeans with me.

Do you spiral? Like when you decide that you fucked up, do you start spiraling, like hate spiral? It's crazy how I, I don't do it as badly anymore because I've caught myself so many, but that takes me to a very dangerous place. It's taken me to a really bad place.

I try not to do that because the next thing you know, you're walking around the house fucking putting a belt around your neck just kind of testing, not tying it, but just holding it and just seeing what it feels like to have a belt. How many times have you done that? Literally hundreds.

Please call me. I'm not going to do it. I would never and anyone call me i'm not gonna do it i'm not even i would never but call me yes sir i i'm uh i'm just saying it's some things like anyone who's ever gone through with it and done that yeah like you know robin and fucking bourdain i would love to sit with those guys and just like i guarantee that was the 508th time you did that. Not necessarily tried it, but that put it there. Guarantee you. A hundred percent.

A hundred percent. You've talked to other people that have the same sort of thing. No, I just know the process. I just know the process. Like you can't just one day tie, you feel it.

You give yourself a shot. You see what that feels like. You hate yourself. Like you're fucking peace. And then you let it go. And then you take it off and you don't tie it to anything. I would guess.

Well, a guy like Bourdain, man, that one was such a bummer to me. That was the biggest bummer. I mean, Brody was a giant bummer too. I forgot about Brody, yeah. Jesus. That was a huge bummer. Did you see it coming? No. I didn't know him well enough. No, I knew he had bouts

Where he wasn't doing well Everybody loved him though man Everybody You'd see him He's just I I never didn't hug that guy Every time I saw him I hugged him

He was such a good guy Everybody loved him Like nobody didn't like Brody Except Brody Yeah You know Well he was sick You know like he, he was sick.

You know, like, he had all kinds of different medications that they had tried on him and all sorts of different issues. But he would go off the reservation sometime. Oh, that's a bad expression, right? That's like Paco Sal. Someone's saying that was a racist. Who said that? Oh, it was Daryl. Yeah, it's a racist expression, apparently.

Oh, it was Daryl. Yeah, it's a racist expression apparently. He would go haywire and you didn't know what was going on. But he'd be on stage yelling, but it wasn't funny. Brody was hilarious. And his style of comedy was so uniquely him. If you wrote it down on paper, you wouldn't understand why it was funny. But then when you saw him in real life, you'd be fucking crying and laughing.

He was so funny. But then I'd see him sometimes and he would be, there was no funny. It was just him complaining about stuff. I'm like, when is this going to turn silly? Because usually it turns silly, but it didn't turn silly. And then people are like, oh, Brody's off his medication. So, yeah, you wonder how many times did he dry run it? Did he dry run it?

Because you can't be that, again, maybe there's exceptions to the rule, but you cannot be a depressed person and dealing with that all the time and not have dry run it. I mean, I don't think anybody ever puts a gun in their mouth and shoots themselves the first time. I'm sure it's something you've walked through a bunch of times and just couldn't make yourself do it. God damn. Yeah, it's the time you kill yourself is the time you can finally just not stop yourself from doing it.

But I guarantee you he had gone through that a bunch. I just know too many people. Too many people that have done that now. I think I know, I mean it might be seven or eight comics that have killed themselves in the time. I mean, guys that never made it, too, most of them were not as known as Brody or Richard Jenny or Robin Williams. A lot of them were guys that just didn't ever get above into this.

I never really knew Jenny. You know, I'd said hi to him when I was friendly with him. Yeah. You called me when I was in Pittsburgh. I was in the green room and you called me. He was a giant influence on me when I was starting. He was so good. I talk about him too much to the point where people get annoyed, but I just want people

to know in the eighties, that guy was the fucking man. Like, you don't know how good he was when I was an open mic or in 1988, I went to see him at catch a rising star in New York. And I was like, this guy is fucking brilliant. He was fucking brilliant. But I forget who he was talking about the other day. I don't even know if it was on here, but they were saying that he liked two things.

That was it. And he would tell you, he likes comedy and porn. That's it. That's all he cared about. And literally didn't really socialize, maybe had a girlfriend or didn't have a girlfriend, on and off. But comedy and porn. Didn't really socialize. Maybe had a girlfriend or didn't have a girlfriend, on and off. But comedy and porn.

Didn't have any hobbies. Always wanted to be like Seinfeld. Always wanted to have the sitcom or be Jim Carrey, have the movies. But it never really happened. He was such a great comic. I think the last time I talked to him, he called me about, and I didn't know him that well, but I knew him just from the business. And he was

Unhappy because they had been attacking him like online about something like bashing him not saying he wasn't funny or whatever It was just one of those things where a site trashes you he was really upset by it really I'm like you're so much bigger than this like you're sad like he didn't almost understand how Influential or powerful a comic he was right that that would bother him if the come on That's why I wish he survived to podcasting i wish he survived to realize like how much we other comics appreciated him yeah i tell the story but i'll tell it again east side comedy club in long island in like the late 80s early 90s he did friday and saturday two shows friday two shows saturday four different hours murdered they said that everyone was standing around afterwards like he just did He did Friday and Saturday, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, four different hours. Murdered.

They said that everyone was standing around afterwards. Like he just did four different hours. Like we should fucking quit. Yeah. We should, we were, we're here pawning off the same shitty 40 minutes, you know, just trying to pretend that we're a headliner. And this guy just murked four different hours. It's weird to that club. I never did that club.

Here's my experience. Richie Minervini booked me at that club. And then I get there And there's a lock on the door Like the only time I was there I fucking showed up It was like the weekend And it fucking

Fucking shut down His brother Richie's brother Was a mixed martial arts Commentator He was a sports guy He did World combat championships

I think it was called It was like He was like One of the He was the play by play guy Or the color Yeah He was the play by play guy And it was like he was like one of the he was the play-by-play guy or the color. Yeah, he was a role. I remember thinking, this is so crazy. Because I don't think at the time I had even done any work for the UFC. I think at the time I was just a fan.

What year did you start with them? 97. Oh, okay. 20 years. 23 years. Isn't that nuts? I started at UFC 12 in Dothan, Alabama. How was your first broadcast?

I, they didn't give me any instruction. Nobody told me what to do. Nobody told me how to do it. Nobody told me shit. They just said, do you want a gig interviewing the fighters after the fights? I was like, sure. You know, and then it was so rinky dink. Like we were in this weird little fucking hotel um and this weird and you know that's where we're staying we flew in there on a propeller plane

the gig was supposed to be in buffalo new york but new york state banned it at the last minute so bob meyerwitz who was the owner of the company and uh campbell mclaren who was the guy who hired me they told me you're going down to Alabama instead. Like, what? So I flew into one part of Alabama and I took a puddle jumper and landed in Dothan. And that was like the place where they were allowed to do the show there. And it was this little auditorium.

It wasn't very big at all. And the first show I ever worked at, Mark the Hammer Coleman beat Dan Severn for the UFC heavyweight title, UFC 12. Vitor Belfort made his debut. And I was actually training at Vitor's school. I was a white belt. Carlson Gracie's in 97. And that's where – and I had been there since 96.

I started training there in 96. And then in 97, Vitor was making his UFC debut. And just by sheer luck, I happened to be at the actual gym with Carlos Baheto and Mario Sperry and all these like just assassins back then. And I got to be the post-fight interview guy. Yeah, it was nuts, man.

That's me. Yeah. Look at my earring. Ooh, so cute Little cutie pie Yeah So that was Way way back

In the dizzay man 1997 Isn't it weird Rodrigo Medeiros There's Vitor When you think of 97 You're like fuck I was doing comedy

Seven years by that point Like it's a long time ago And I was already in the business Yeah I was nine years in At that point In comedy Cause I started in 88, yeah. And I didn't book gigs.

I actually had to quit because it was costing me money because if I would go to do a UFC, I don't remember how much I made. It wasn't that much to do the interview stuff. But then if I could do a comedy gig, I could make like two grand for a weekend. Right. So I was like, why am I doing that

when I can make two grand? Like, what am I doing? I'm making like two grand for a weekend right so I was like why am I doing that when I can make two grand like what am I doing I'm making like one instead of two so it was just costing me money plus anything that got anything that got in the way of comedy was difficult too it was but for me my life started with martial arts I mean that was also you know I started in 88 and the last time I fought was 89 so that was probably you know somewhere in the neighborhood of uh you know eight years since my like serious competition day so i still loved it i was still into it and i was loving that this new thing was around so i was happy to be there even though it wasn't like it wasn't affecting my career in a good way in fact the people that were i was on

news radio at the time and the people that were, I was on news radio at the time, and the people that were the producers were like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, why are you doing this? Like, why would, they treated me like I was going off to do like porn. Right. What is this fucking violent thing you're talking about and being a part of and putting your face on?

But yeah, and I was like an expert. Like I was the expert interviewer asking people questions, doing things like you're attaching yourself to cage fighting the fuck is wrong with you but i loved it man i loved it i was so excited to see this happen because we had always wondered when when i started doing martial arts you know i started in karate but i did like a little bit of kung fu then i did karate the kung fu was like one lesson and then a little bit of Karate, but then I got balls deep into Taekwondo. But everybody always wanted to know what was the best martial art.

And I switched from Taekwondo, and I started doing kickboxing and boxing because I realized my hands were terrible. And then I'm like, man, I thought it was good because I was good at Taekwondo, but this boxing stuff is more important to learn. I need to learn that. And then I started doing Jiu-Jitsu and getting strangled I'm like fuck I don't know anything and I remember thinking when the UFC came along finally we're gonna figure out what works finally we're gonna know what works you know and now look at it you work for the UFC now how crazy is that it's fucking crazy because

I love it so much and I love just I'm a fan just, I love the fact that I just get to talk to the fighters and hang with Matt. Like it's a really. I love Matt. I love Matt too. Matt Serra is a fucking gem of a human being. He's 100% genuine. Yes. He's exactly the same on the air.

Yes. As off the, he's the same guy. He's beautiful. He really is. I love him. Matt's an amazing guy. And yeah, being a part of it is just, even in the way I am, which is a peripheral way, I just, I don't fight, I don't train.

Have you thought about training? A lot. Kaitlin Chukagin keeps telling me like, I'm going to go to your first class. I want you to come to Henzo's. Yes, she's been telling me for two years. But I get so claustrophobic and tired from not sleeping. But whatever.

I have people, the UFC Unfiltered fans want to smash me for yapping about it. I want to take it. You just got to do it. I know if you're tired from lack of sleep and everything like that, but just do it. And you should go to the doctor and get a real mouth, because you can't sleep with a CPAP, right? It bothers you? I need a mouthpiece, but I also, I can't do CPAP anyway.

I need ASV, which is both types of apnea it covers. But yeah, I want to either go to Henzo's or... Henzo's is great. Just go. I think Jimmy Rivera has a place around there too. Does he? I believe so, yeah. Tiger Schulman's one of the...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tiger Schulman's where I live and he's invited me to that. Just go. Just go. Just go. Just go. Just do it. Just have to do it.

Just make yourself do it. Yeah, it's fun. You'd love it. I'll suck at it. It'll be okay. Of course. Everybody sucks at it in the beginning. I sucked at it.

I can clearly remember being just tortured, raped by this dude. Oh my God. This guy just destroyed me. Do you get used to the sweat on you? Like I think that would always bother me. You do, right? Get used to it. Get used to anything.

It's good for you. Not the sweat, but the physical contact. It actually, there's a camaraderie with-jitsu that is like very different than any other martial art it's you're you're trying to kill each other but you're also looking after each other you know like the guys who you really care about like 10th planet guys or john jocks guys when i train with them nobody hurt you if you got hurt it was by accident yeah guys were you know you're trying to kill each other but you knew that if they got you in an arm bar that they were not gonna try to break your arm They were they were gonna hold it and you know

Give you an opportunity to try to get out of it if you could or tap and no one was gonna like just fucking yank It no one ever does that no one it's there and you appreciate that There's like a good feeling that you know that if this guy does get you in something you tap they immediately let go they stop Yeah, and then you slap hands and you go damn you got me you motherfucker and you laugh and then you go back and do it again because i'm fascinated by like i want to do it i honestly my own laziness is one reason i just haven't but because matt loves uh matt loves talking about choking like matt loves the idea of strangling somebody with their own coat which is always he's like oh winter coat that's a gift.

Oh, it is. I mean, I always said, like, if you were fighting in a street against a judo player and you had a winter coat on, oh, my God, you're so fucked. Yeah. Because they're just going to fucking grab you and use the world on you. Because literally slam your head into the world. Especially New York City, like the streets, just fucking shit. Boom! Oh, The worst.

You should be naked and greasy if you ever think about getting in a fight with somebody. I would have to train with clothes, with a gi, I think, if I ever do it, just because, like, I'm gonna be on the subway,

no one's gonna be shirtless. If I ever have to fucking defend myself, they're gonna probably have clothes on, so. Yeah, but you'd learn how to use the clothes. I'd do both. You'd learn how to use gi, no gi. You'd learn how to do both. It's no do both. You'd learn how to use gi, no gi. You'd learn how to do both.

It's no big deal. Someone has clothes on. It's not like you don't know what to grab because they have clothes on. It's simple. And they're all nice. I'm not worried about it. I'm not afraid of it because I like the people so much who I've met involved with. I've never met anybody involved with who I didn't like.

Yeah, they're nice people, right? All of them are nice people. None of them are dicks. None of them give that energy off. They all know they can strangle me. Nobody makes you feel that way. Well, that's why a guy like Matt Serra is such a good guy because he's got such a good character.

And you kind of notice that from a lot of fighters, right? They have great character. And one of the reasons why they have great character is they don't have a problem with their ego. They're controlled. They understand who they are. They feel good. Yeah, I'm never uncomfortable

around any of them. Yeah. Like never for that reason, at least, uh, no matter who they are or what position they're in, they're all kind of the same. Uh, none of them, none of them come off like with that alpha energy that other athletes give you. I remember on ONA, you'd have everybody choke you. I used to do that. Yeah. BJ was the first guy. Uh, he was coming off a loss and I wanted to see what it felt like like I knew it wouldn't be the same but I had seen arm bars

and I wanted to know what does it feel like when somebody grabs your arm that way so he did they were all pretty gentle Fedor put me in a fucking good one

did he? yeah yeah yeah his hurt and I was like ah and he laughed and he did it again he was

but to feel those things it gives you such a respect for the fact that there's guys that are doing this for real. Oh, yeah. This is a guy just showing some fucking idiot on the radio. Didn't Jon Jones gently leg kick you too? No. Jon Jones fucking put a hard leg kick. He was like weight cut wheat. So he might not have been the best of fucking moods.

He put me, he shin kicked me across the leg. It hurt so bad. I know, but I'm being honest. I think he did it lightly. I'm sure he did. Let me see. Let me see. Here it is.

Look at my hands up. Put your dukes up. That's light. Compared to what he could have done. That's light. But I almost threw up. Look at him. Look at you.

Look at you. I almost threw up. Look at him. Look at you. Look at you. I almost vomited. I had to go to the bathroom because I thought I was going to faint. Okay, but I'm telling you right now, that wasn't even 50%. Oh, no. Not even close.

That probably wasn't even 30%. All that was was like the weight of his leg. Yeah, no, he could have really fucking leveled me. Oh, my God. Kane has choked me. I've had a few guys do things. Who hurt you the most? John, that kick.

I had to wear leg brace. I'm not exaggerating. For how long? My knee had been fucked up, so I probably put one on for three months after that. The face that you would get. Randy going to work. Yeah. Oh, what does Fedor got you in an arm lock?

Oh, who's got you in a heel hook? It was Brock. Brock Lesnar, no! You let Brock Lesnar touch your knees? Yeah. There's a whole... Oh, what does Fedor got you in an arm lock? Oh, who's got you in a heel hook? It was Brock. Brock Lesnar, no! You let Brock Lesnar touch your knees? Yeah. Oh, it's so terrible.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Rashad punched you? Yeah. Oh, there's a whole fucking series of people beating on you. But it was never

a test. Oh, dude. It was never like, hey, let's see how the hurt... Oh, John punched you, too? Oh, yeah. You let him punch you and kick you? And he shook me.

It was a different outfit. That's a different day. Different time. Oh, Uriah punched you in the arm too? This whole video series of you getting beat up by UFC fighters. This is so horrible, dude. Brock's was, oh yeah. Who got you in that?

Yeah. Was that Frank or Ken? Frank. Oh, Anderson kicked you? Yeah, not hard though. Anderson's a nice guy. He wouldn't kick me that hard. That's good for him, man. I'm glad. We're going to have him kick you in the arm? Yeah.

You could break your arm easy. Yeah, but I always trust these guys. I know that none of them are going to do it so hard that they do anything to me that's going to damage me because they all know I'm not fighting. Right. But I all know that they could... I just trust them for some reason. I trust them to be gentle.

I don't know why. Well, they're nice people. Plus, they know it's the radio. Yeah. They're not trying to hurt you. John got you in a choke, too. Yeah. This is so crazy, dude.

All these people fuck you. Look, Fedor. Yeah, Fedor wouldn't let go. He wouldn't let go. No, he enjoyed it. Oh, do you know Fedor just got you again. Look at this. He tapped you like three times.

Look at Rashad's getting you in a triangle. Oh my God, that is hilarious. Yeah, Rhonda armbarred me. I had some really fun ones, man. I wish I had done more of these because it was really a bit done out of respect for what they do. Right, just to feel what it's like. To watch someone who's world class and one of the best alive at doing that. And then all of a sudden to have them do it to you felt like, fuck man, this is how good

this guy is at this. How did you get the gig with the UFC? How'd that work? Dana had asked me one time, you know, we'd known each other a long time and he'd say, one day we're going to work together. We're going to do something. I don't know what. And I was like, all right, you know, and I would see him at events and whatever.

And I just got a phone call one day. He's like, hey man, we're doing a podcast with Matt Serra. You want to do it? He fucking just called me and goes,

here's the money. Do you want to do the podcast? It was a phone call from Dana offering me the podcast. He didn't, Matt was already in place and I said,

yeah, I would love to. So we worked out a couple of things with my job where I was able to do something else with my name on it

and he just hired me. But I'm not hired like, you know, I'm hired as a comedian who loves UFC like Matt's the guy who can of course play by play call who can analyze jujitsu so beautifully and you know that's not what I do yeah no it's it's interesting that the UFC even has a podcast you know yeah UFC unfiltered yeah I mean it's it was I it was they could have just got two analysts to do it, but I think Danny just wanted a different tone to it. How often do you guys do it? Once a week? Twice a week. Twice a week? I see Matt every Monday and Wednesday. Really? And you meet in the city at a studio or something?

We meet in the city in a studio, and they meet a lot of fighters on, usually they're not in studio. A lot of times they're Skyping in. That sucks. I prefer in studio. Oh, every time. I don't like, i've only done a couple of skypes two actually snowden snowden and john anthony west who is a one of my favorite guests ever he's an egyptologist who has this incredible uh understanding of egypt and the hieroglyphs and

he had this great dvd series called magical egypt um just he just passed recently amazing guy but um him and just because he was sick and he couldn't couldn't get in here and then uh snowden obviously because he's on the moon yeah yeah yeah wherever he is he can't come that was weird it's weird to do i don't like the skype interviews i prefer them to the phone though these guys would call on they're ready to practice. Like, you know what I mean? We'd have Cowboy on the phone. He'd be just driving, going to do something, and you hear the wind, and you couldn't get anything done.

Well, the weird thing about the Snowden one, too, was it wasn't just that it was remote. It was also, like, what we're talking about, like, who he is and what his situation is. He's trapped in Russia, allegedly. I mean, he might be in Cleveland. Who the fuck knows where he is? He's trapped in Russia, allegedly. I mean, he might be in Cleveland. Who the fuck knows where he is?

But that he's got this situation where he's never going to really be able to come back to the United States unless they work out some sort of a deal. And even then, he's not going to believe them. I mean, I wouldn't believe them. I probably wouldn't either. Didn't he say no about UFOs, though? Didn't you ask him when he said that he hadn't seen evidence? He hadn't seen evidence. But how much did he look into and how much was available to him and you know

where is that kind of evidence? If there is any of that stuff I don't know. Maybe on a closed system too? I don't want to not believe in UFOs I resist it. I resist it hard I'm not rational about it. Dude I'm trying I have to, I gotta piss real bad I'm gonna, go ahead

piss my pants I've been an uptick in UFO I have to, I gotta piss real bad. I'm gonna, go ahead. Piss my pants. Go ahead. Been an uptick in UFO stuff recently. Yeah, I wonder why. I wonder what that is. Space Force. You know what I think honestly it is? It's when the New York Times had that thing where they were talking about all the different reported UFO sightings that are reputable from people like david fravor and you know these air force

guys that are like otherwise rock solid individuals who talk about their experiences but my problem with it my legitimate problem with me as a human being is i want it to be real so when people don't think it's real like oh that's all bullshit i'm like no it's real like i'm not i'm not um objective i'm biased like legitimately biased and i know it and i'm like come on man why why are you so biased about this it's a weird one like i want it to be real so much like talking to bob lazar like god i hope he's telling the truth i'm sure this was a theory because it's no way to be proven, but I saw someone online postulate that the uptick in alien stuff could be like us coming from the future. I've heard that too, that the idea is that what the greys are.

And this is something I've personally thought, I think independently, was that if you look at human beings and you look at, say a gorilla, right? You look at a gorilla was this big, hairy fucking animal thing. And then you slowly turn that into, you know, I guess we didn't really come from gorillas.

We came from chimps, but chimps, you know, monkeys, lower hominids, Australia, Pythagoras, you know,

and then, you know, ancient man, right? And then all these different versions of what we are until we become right now homo sapien 2020 well what are we what how do we look different well unless you're someone who works out a lot you're losing a lot of your musculature you're not as dense you're not as hairy you know when you see like um that fucking

killer wrestler from russia remember when we uh showed videos of that dude god damn it i'm trying to remember his name rustam yeah rustam uh fuck that's it hold on chiev rustam chiev he's uh this fucking tank of a man that's covered in hair but he looks like someone from the past you know and when he's uh this fucking tank of a man that's covered in hair but he looks like someone from the past you know when he's throwing people around with this fucking giant hairy back and hair all over his chest and arms you always this is that guy but that that almost he almost looks like a normal human there but there's some some videos of him when he's grappling i mean like that one right there where he's got the double flex, the red one, right above that.

Yeah. Like, look how hairy that motherfucker is. That guy's from another time. Yeah. That is from another time. I mean, that guy, you could comb his chest hair. We were talking about aliens, and I was saying, if you look at people like that, like real hairy fucking testosterone-filled

savages like this guy who's an elite wrestler, he's a killer grappler. And then you look at aliens well if you look at chimps to that guy to aliens what's happening well what's happening is we're getting less hairy and we're getting smaller and weaker right we're getting more and more like what an alien looks like and aliens have no genitals they have no mouths they're just a smooth skinny thing with this big head and these big weird eyes like when we get rid of the need if we evolve past the need for physical strength if we evolve past the need for you know sex if sex is the note we don't reproduce any longer through just normal biological male-female sex.

If they've, you know, who knows? A million years from now, a hundred thousand years from now, we might decide that one of the biggest problems that faces human beings on earth is our emotions, our desire for sex, biology, all of our animal instincts that we still hold on to. And we could evolve past those, just like we're so much different than chimps are. We're so much different than we used to be when we were lower hominids. We've evolved. We've evolved to the point where we're communicating with words.

We're using phones. We fly in planes. We have technology. But also our bodies are softer. And our bodies are less, they're not as strong. They're not as animalistic and explosive and if it continues along that path especially aided by technology when we don't have any need especially if we have these big ass giant brains and we can use telepathy to communicate we can

communicate through some other way maybe even electronically enhanced maybe you know something in their brain but when you look at an alien with the big head and the little tiny body that's what a person is probably going to become our heads are way bigger our brains are bigger than other hominids and other other primates our bodies are softer and weaker and if you just keep going with that that's what happens the head but do they have no genitals though that's been like or is it something that at least the photo whatever people say they are are they just wearing something that hides their genitals? Could be.

Like, I don't know if they have no genitals. I mean, I'm really pushing hard for it. It also could be no genitals, but it also could be those aren't even biological things anymore. It could be that human beings become some sort of cybernetic, some sort of cyborg. If you think about body parts, right? Like, if we start replacing body parts, like I met a gentleman the other day. I did this benefit.

Pull up the guy. What is the guy's name? The Australian gentleman who was a soldier who lost both his arm and his leg in a shark attack. I did a benefit the other day with him for the Australian wildfire. He's got a carbon fiber arm and a carbon fiber leg. It's crazy.

Shakes your hand, like grips it with his carbon fiber hand. And, you know, right now you can tell the difference between his carbon fiber hand, this electronic hand, and his other hand. But maybe 100 years from now you won't be able to. And maybe in the future it's better to have one of these artificial bodies than it is to have a biological body that can break and get all fucked up and you feel pain. We're replacing things all the time. We're replacing body parts all the time with operations, and we use organic substitutes. Paul DeGelder.

Yes, that's the man. Shout out to Paul. out to paul um yeah we uh we did this australian uh benefit with jim jeffries and um monty franklin and whitney cummings the other night for the australian uh wildfire uh for wildlife relief they lost a billion animals in that yeah i heard a billion jesus it's crazy yeah anyway in the future maybe they'll get to the point where they'll have limbs that are better than the limbs we have like what are you doing with these biological limbs? Jimmy, upgrade. Can't you have a fucking alien body?

I want to believe, dude. I saw the Lazar documentary. You had him in. I enjoyed it. I didn't see the whole interview, but what I saw I liked a lot. There's always that one place with conspiracy that there's always a gap I cannot cross. Of course. And for me, it's the degrees. I just can't get beyond the degrees being gone the two degrees i can't get

beyond it and i want to i want to i would much rather believe in ufos than not believe in them well he's clearly educated and he's a smart guy he says he worked for los alamos labs and they sent him to mit to work on top secret projects. There's clear evidence that he worked at Los Alamos Labs. Ashley, do me a favor. Go to Jeremy's, I think it's on his Instagram page. He has this thing. It might be on his Twitter. He has this thing where he has George Knapp explain all the different things he went through

to prove that Bob Lazar was legit. One of them being that he definitely worked at Los Alamos he was even in the employee registry even though they said he didn't yeah play that and give me some volume the central question for me about Bob was did he work at Los Alamos lab if he worked there on classified projects it is plausible that he could work at area 51 at Papoose Lake on other stuff. Did he work there? I can tell you flat out he did. 100% certain that he did. I found his name in the phone book. I found his name in an article in the Los Alamos newspaper. I talked to people who were there and finally Bob took me there. He took me into the lab, waved at the security guys. We brought

a camera along. This guy was familiar. It was like a rabbit running through a burrow that he had traveled every day. And he's waving at security guys and walking into all these buildings. He knew his way around. He'd been there before. They knew him. They let him in.

They let me in. I interviewed people he worked with. They said he was there. We proved it. And yet, the paper trail ends at a certain point. We don't have any records we can't find anything they'd already told me they had the records as soon as i think i'm getting close they yanked the rug out from under me he took lie detector tests he passed all of them i know that doesn't mean anything but look this is we're talking about the 1980s they get

away with a lot back then in terms of erasing your history and um his his education is undeniable in terms of what he knows he's a he's a brilliant guy when you talk to him he's not faking anything he's not like he doesn't have any holes in his understanding of physics or you know i don't know if he's telling the truth but again i'm not i'm not uh objective i'm biased i want to believe i want to believe as well i can't get beyond the school things. To me, that says he's not being truthful. Well, the MIT thing, I'll tell you this. He told me that they sent him from Los Alamos Labs to there to work on something. And I'll tell you what it is off air.

But I told him I wouldn't talk about it during the podcast because you're going to hear when I tell you, you're going to go, holy fuck. And it'll make a little more sense. It's, I don't know. You know, it's, again, I'm a fucking loser. I want it to be real. No, but it can be real. I just. But I mean, I want it to be.

So I'm not looking at it. Yeah. I'm not. You're very biased. I'm invested. Yeah. I'm invested. I'm not.

I mean, I'm not invested anymore. Like even the three naval videos. I'm like, whenever a pilot sees something that tic-tac video but now that there's something that they're saying that's making me go that might be man-made because they're saying something about if we were to reveal this it would compromise national security no no they could reveal all the files they have on these ufo incidents it would compromise national security first of all because it'll compromise their, if they reveal how they know that something is blocking radar. That object, whatever it was, was actively jamming radar.

I had Commander Fravor, the guy who filmed that thing, the guy who was there and who reported that thing, I had him here. He said that thing went from 60,000 feet down to 200 in less than a second. There's nothing that we have that can do that. He said that the thing moved so fast it made this travel in this radar. You know, radar is a blip, right? It's like, bip, bip, bip.

Between one blip to another, it had moved in a preposterous speed. You couldn't even track it. It was moving so fast. They don't know if it did it in less than a second or if it did it in one second, but whatever it was. The amount of distance that it traveled is impossible with the laws of physics as we understand them. Could they see it with the naked eye as well?

Yes, they could see it with the naked eye. Is this a longer video? They saw it under the water. Yes. You could see the video. You could see the thing on video. You could see the thing on video move off. You can see that it's actively jamming radar.

You could see that they're trying to track it and stay with it but it's moving too fast see there's something they said recently that made me think oh that might be man-made and i forget it was something to do with compromising national security whatever the quote was i was like that sounds like something that there's man-made and they're worried they'll compromise something that they've created i know what you're saying but here's the thing. Whatever it is, someone made it. If it's not man, then it's something from another planet. Maybe it is man-made. Maybe it is some project that the government has.

But whatever it is, it's something that moves at an insane speed that we're not capable of understanding in terms of what the average person who understands propulsion and engines and combustion, all those people. Well, pilots see, when pilots say stuff, I listen to it because they understand those things. Like for me, I don't know how things are supposed to move, but they do. So when they're confused by something, that's what got me interested was when the Times did the article on those. So I really started going, like I started, you know, watching and reading. And I'm like, I want to believe. I just can't find anything that doesn't have a gap that i can't cross well you should talk to fravor he's

a fucking rock solid guy he's very it's very compelling when you talk to him in person because he doesn't want to have anything to do with publicity he's not interested at all he wanted to tell his story because he felt like they're not being honest about it yeah and that people really should know that there's some things that we don't understand and that these guys that are down in san diego that were uh at this air force base they were seeing these things like fairly recently before his his experience right they had seen one like for in the last couple weeks i think it was and then they find them on the east coast too same thing and they move in the same way that bob laz Lazar described these things that he worked on area s4 the same way where there's something called element 115 that Bob Lazar described in the late 80s early 90s they didn't even know it was

real until 2013 he was describing it long before it was ever proven to be an actual thing long before they ever created it with a particle accelerator you know he reminded this was my and again i'm basing this only on opinion i i have no facts for this when i listened to him he my first thought was after these things that don't line up oh he took somebody's story what he's saying is somehow true but he's telling somebody else's story and that may be a total lie but that's's just what my head told me, was because he knows so much, and yet, how do they make your education disappear? Not hard.

Not hard in the 1980s. I still can't see it. People that went to school with him have talked about it. That's what I want to hear from. Oh, yeah. People who went to school with him. Well, they have records of people that went to school with him who talked about it. That's what I want to hear.

Also, they have records of people that worked with him at Los Alamos Labs. They've talked about it. Have they talked publicly? Because that's what I haven't heard. They talked to George Knapp. I know they are. I want to hear who these people are. Not in a quiz, but I want it to be true.

Like, I want people to go out and go, yeah, he was in my fucking class. I know the guy. He talked about it on the podcast where he went back and found these guys that he worked at the lab with. He worked at Los Alamos Lab for sure, and he worked on top secret nuclear projects. And he worked in propulsion. And that's one of the reasons why they sent him to this area S4 because he put a jet engine in a Honda in the 1980s. And, you know, the guy's a fucking super genius. Very smart guy, yeah. fucking super genius and so when he did this they were like well this guy has a very intense

understanding of combustion engines and propulsion and all these different things that he's creating and so they're like let's see if this guy can crack this crazy nut yeah and so they were just bringing scientists to try to get a different perspective on these crafts and the one that he was working on or one of them that he's working on they said that they had found in an archaeological dig that's where it gets really crazy like they found this thing what he was working on they think what he read was that what the government was telling them when they were working there when they were briefing him was that human beings are the product of science projects that human beings were created when many many thousands of years ago hundreds whatever millions of years ago however long it was aliens came down here

and did experiments with lower hominids they did experiments with primates and added their DNA and manipulated the DNA to create human beings. And it's one of the reasons why if you see, like, the only thing that's like us is dogs, in that dogs can all breed with each other. Like a pit bull can breed with a poodle, but they don't look anything alike, right? But they breed together perfectly. You would assume those are two different things right, but they're not They're the same thing that's the same with people like Shaquille O'Neal Could fuck Bridget the midget right the same thing or a tiny little Asian girl a giant man And the who doesn't look anything we look so different some of us are red hairs. Some of us are Asian. You know, we vary so much.

We're almost like dogs in that way. And we know that dogs are a product of manipulation. We have manipulated dogs and turned them into what they are through selective breeding and through all the, you know, the different methods that they use to try to achieve, you know, whatever a bulldog is or whatever a collie is and It's why I hate fucking French bulldogs, by the way, why good they can't breathe Oh, yeah, I feel that we've created this thing. Yeah, put a stick in its mouth. It's fucking vicious. It's sad Well, even English bulldogs those fat boys with those Yeah It was lying down. They can't breathe. Well, even my dog you just you meant Marshall

He's uh, like that used to be a wolf. Wolves are what all dogs come from. All dogs. Even collies. Even chihuahuas. The origin of all those animals is a wolf. So we took a wolf and we slowly turned it in to whatever a sheep dog is. We slowly turned it in to whatever a fucking Shibu Inu is.

All these different dog species. They all emanate from wolves. We didn't even know that until just a few decades ago when they started doing DNA scans of dogs. They thought they were going to find all these wild canids and all these different things that are the origin of dogs, the root of dogs. But no, it's not. It's all wolves. Everything came from a wolf. I have a Bob Lazar question. wild canids and all these different things that are the origin of dogs the root of the but no

it's not it's all wolves everything came from a wolf i have a bob lazar question and it's not that i i don't know enough about it to convince you otherwise but i just don't but i'm kind of hoping you can convince me if they made the school records disappear right why do they leave the records that we just saw from that place they They didn't know they were there? That's someone who had a copy of the registry for that place. Someone who worked there during the same time he did had a copy of the registry. Dude, they didn't just eliminate his, they eliminated his social security number.

They eliminated a lot of shit. Dude, in the 1980s, they can make you effectively disappear. Yeah, I'm sure they can. I mean, in the 80s, paper trails were a little bit different. Yeah. But it just, I can't get beyond the two degrees. And again, I want to, I'm sure I've heard him interviewed. He's a very compelling guy.

Not to harp on it, I just. The two degrees are not hard. That's not hard to get past. That's not hard to eliminate. What's hard is understanding all the things he understands when it comes to science without an education. The way he talks about it. Have you ever seen the videos where he's describing it in the late 80s? Yeah.

It's exactly the same as he describes it now. Exactly the same. No variation whatsoever. Well, that's kind of like- If you tell a story 40 years ago, and then I ask you again today to tell me that same story, most bullshitters are going to have some holes in that story and change it. And it doesn't mean he's telling the truth, but he's been insanely consistent. I would almost think too, that a lot of times truth tellers have things change.

That's why eyewitness testimony is so unreliable because even a truth teller will make mistakes over time. If it's a story that I've created, I think I'm less likely to forget details if I've created it because I have a beginning, middle, and end to it. Right. But it's very complicated what he's saying. Yeah. What he's saying is very complicated in the descriptions of them, the descriptions of

these crafts and the way the propulsion system works and the fact that it uses this incredibly dense element that doesn't even exist on earth in you know 1989 or whatever it was but now they've found actually is a real thing like that element 115 that was that was people were saying that science fiction you're making things up but now that they have created it in particle accelerators like oh okay this is a real thing now what if there's a planet that has a completely different atmosphere completely different relationship with its star, and element 115 is common. Like, they find things in asteroids all the time that are very, very rare on Earth, but very common in space. It's one of the ways that they know whether or not we've been impacted.

Like, one of the ways they know that the Yucatan was hit with this gigantic asteroid that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago is a layer of iridium at 65 million years. Iridium is very, very rare on Earth, but very common in space. And this layer of it, this dense layer at 65 million years ago, shows that that's when it was hit, that this giant chunk of space rock slammed into the Earth and killed everything. Yeah. I know. Look, I like the earth and killed everything. Yeah, I know. Look,

I like the fact you're skeptical. I'm very skeptical. I wish I was more. And I don't, I don't want to be because I really want to believe it because it also gives us a hope that we have some kind of a possible immortality somewhere. Believe me, I fucking like Ray Kurzweil as much as anybody does.

He gives us all hope. Um, but I just, I keep getting to a sticking point every single time there's something i can't get beyond um when it comes to that conspiracy i know what you mean i know what you mean it's look i i thought it was all horseshit for a long time i was i was like i was mocking it all for a long time and then jeremy corbell's documentary really flipped the switch with me i was like god damn it is this real? And then getting to know Jeremy and talking to him and then getting to know Bob, having dinner with Bob

and then getting Bob to come here and sit down. It was very hard to get him to come in. Yeah. Very hard. Very hard. He was super nervous. He was getting migraines. He didn't want the, he didn't want the scrutiny. And then meanwhile, while he's doing Jeremy's documentary, they fucking raid his business. They raid his business and go through all his stuff. The FBI did. They caught it all on video. It's all part.

Like, this is not just a regular guy. They're going through all of his data. They're going through all of his emails. They confiscated his computers. They didn't find anything. He's free and clear but they were looking for element 115 he thinks because he had some apparently and they had done some test and there's video of it with george knapp where they've got like they've got fog

they're using some sort of a fog machine and they're showing how this gives off a certain gives off a certain field that makes it almost impossible to grab and touch, and this fog is rejected by this field. And what they're saying about that element is, and I'm going to butcher this. I don't really understand the science, but this gravity intensifier, this gravity multiplier, whatever the fuck it is, gravity projection thing, with that 115, it distorts gravity. And that's how these things are able to move through these insane um through insane speeds and the way he described it is that it's like if you had like a real cushy uh mattress a real soft mattress and you put a massive bowling ball in the center of the mattress everything would just go zoom and bend around the bowling ball well that's what element 115 with that craft in that propulsion system does to space-time it bends gravity if it bends

space i don't know the answer to this i always want because i've heard of that doesn't everything else get fucked up like if you're bending space-time doesn't everything else just kind of come closer together and i don't know i don't know maybe it doesn't maybe it does maybe it doesn't i don't know maybe it just does it with whatever's around it and maybe we don't understand what you know how space we know that gravity bends things right it bends light that's why you know when you're looking at the sun you can actually see things they can see things that are actually behind the Sun because it wore the massive gravity of the Sun because it's so enormous it actually manipulates light it bends it so you can see things

that are actually behind it I want to know like yeah I'm sure you had done Neil deGrasse Tyson a bunch of times yeah times. Yeah, he's fascinating and a skeptic. And he's an interesting skeptic because he may, I mean, he can base it in what he knows or believes scientifically. Right. But, you know,

a guy Troy on our show went at it with him. Who went on it? Troy. Who's Troy? He's our fucking, he's a DJ and he's our fucking,

like, a guy who works our computers. Wait, wait, wait. Troy went at it with Neil deGrasse Tyson? Oh, yeah. About what? Because he thinks

he's a full of shit government agent and hiding UFOs. Oh, no. That was great, though. It was a fun video. Oh, no. But Troy thinks

that Neil is an agent. An agent? Not an agent, but I mean an agent as in representing the point of view of the government. Is he one of those

flat earth guys? No, not at all. What does he think? He thinks that there's UFOs. There's a lot of things we're not being told. But it was a great video. But if they're not being told, do you think that they tell astronomers and astrophysicists? Do you think they tell guys like Neil deGrasse Tyson?

Like, why would they pull him aside? Hey, guy who works at the Hayden Planetarium, we're going to give you secrets. And we definitely want to make sure you don't tell them to people on the Opie and Anthony show Yeah, Troy thinks that he knows Really? Yeah Come on No, it's legit, he really does

Okay, alright Troy But we're always going back and forth Was it entertaining for Neil or did he get weird? He was okay with it, you know We had Neil on UFC Unfiltered and him and Matt wrestled It was really funny because Neil is such a big dude, and people forget that he was a heavyweight wrestler. Where did they wrestle?

Was there a match? On the floor. Really? No, they were talking about some kind of a choke or something, or a submission. There's a video of it? Yeah, and I filmed it, and I think he was trying to show Matt something. Yeah, he was a legit wrestler.

He was. He was stacked when he was young You ever see him? No Dude Pull a picture of Neil deGrasse Tyson When he was in college Dude he was

Fucking jacked Like a UFC fighter Yeah He was built Like really well built Matt did put him in something That he was unable to I think Of course

Yeah Matt's a world champion Neil wasn't sure if he could do it What? I don't know if Neil was as familiar with Matt. Oh, good Lord. Look at him. Look how jacked he is.

Dude. Jesus. Come on, man. He's fucking jacked. Yep. Giant guy. Look at those shoulders. The sweetheart of a guy.

I really like him. I love Neil. Yeah, he's a really- Look at that picture up there, up in the left-hand corner, right above that one. Fascinating taller. Yeah, look at that. Look at that stud it looks like the mod squad isn't that amazing him as a college student wow i would never know that's him

i know look at the fucking sideburns yeah that's sweet very 70s sweet don't you wish you could grow afro fuck i wish i could grow any real facial hair it just doesn't look right it looks wispy and shitty. It's getting gray now anyway, so I keep it short. But eventually, it's all going to come off. Yeah, I keep mine short, my beard hair. But when I grow it out, it's depressing. It's all white.

Yeah, me too. I have like little, I mean, you can see this. I have some now. But all around my sides, it's all white now. It's a sign of death. Do you care about it, though? It bugs me, man. Like, I'm like, I live with it. And again, it beats dying.

But I'm fucking a little like, God damn, man. You're 51 and you're not going backwards. It's not going backwards. I don't enjoy it. Like, this is great. I'm getting old. I don't. But perspective, I'm an extremely fortunate person.

Extremely. Yeah. Like, insanely insanely preposterously blessed and fortunate i i can't complain about shit i'm a lucky lucky person yeah yeah you get to i mean people say you get to do what you love but i think about the shit i complain about and it's it's luxury problems they're problems because i'm doing the job I want to do. Yeah, first world problems. I have three awesome jobs. I mean, my side job is the UFC. I'm the color commentator for the UFC.

That's my side gig. I just do that for fun. I can't wait for Ngannou Rosenstreich. I can't wait. My goodness. Can't wait for that fight. When is that scheduled for? I want to say it's April.

Tickets just went on sale. March 28th. March 28th. March 28th. Okay.th okay oh my goodness that's a terrifying fight rosenstreich what he did to alistair over him's face with that fucking leaping right hook yeah when he split his fucking mouth open that guy is a fucking tank and what was more impressive than anything to me in that fight was not that he knocked him out with the last 10 seconds to go but that he absorbed absorbed all the shots that Alistair hit him with, and he kept pressing forward, almost like he was invulnerable to him. I never saw anybody do that to Alistair.

He was losing that fight, though. I think Alistair was winning that fight. Oh, yes. Alistair was winning that fight, for sure. Rosenstreich is a fucking tank, man. Yeah. He's a tank, and he's a legit 265, right? A natural 265, as is Ngannou. So I think this is the first time Ngannou has ever

fought a guy who is a real world-class kickboxer, who is also his size naturally, and is also a vicious knockout puncher. I still think Ngannou hits harder. I still think Ngannou's faster. But if I was in Rosenstreich's corner, what I would be concentrating on is leg kicks in particular because Junior Dos Santos, even though Ngannou starched him in the first round, Ngannou starches almost everybody. But Junior was able to get off a lot of leg kicks early in the round and was able to at least affect him in some way. I was like, oh, okay, this could be an issue of a real good kickboxer.

Now, we didn't see Rosenstreich use that sort of strategy against Alistair. He was really looking to put hands on Alistair. He threw some kicks, but really, I think if he adjusts with Ngannou and tries to move away from the big shots and chop the legs. He's a better kickboxer He's got real experience with Muay Thai, you know, but he's also a ruthless knockout striker and he has a crazy chin Rosenstreich has a crazy chin man Didn't you feel bad though for Overeem at the end of that like the fact it was almost like he kind of just jumped up And walked off like it was a walk-off home run and and the ref was like all right like it's like dude his face was hanging off do you think they should have stopped it yes dude his cut went like all the way up to his nose like if if Rosenstreich punched him more

it would have probably fallen off and then they would have had to stitch up take a patch off the canvas and wash it off and glue it back to his face. Dude, he was done. Just find that KO. Find Rosenstreich, KOs, Alistair over him. The UFC does a thing that I really wish they wouldn't do. And I don't understand the thought process behind it. And this thing is, they don't show

finishes online. You can't see the finishes. You'll see a guy pulling off of the guy. Like when they stop the fight, he walks away like this, but they don't show the actual finish. What do you think that is? Poor thinking. I just... I don't...

Show it! It's exciting! People want to see it. It'll make more people watch it. Is that to get you to fight past your thing? Watch this. Boom! You can see it flop up. Watch him go down. Look at that. See that? Stop the fight. Is that it?

At the end of it? Okay, I wanted it to play out more because you could see how he's basically helpless. I wonder if they do that to get people to go to Fight Pass. Like maybe if we show you part of it, it's like an automatic promotion for Fight Pass. I get this to thank you. I can't imagine that's true. I think Fight Pass is awesome. They should just go to it if you're a fan. I mean, Fight Pass is great, and it's not just for Fight Pass.

It's got Quintet, Eddie Bravo's Combat Jiu-Jitsu's on that, a bunch of different Muay Thai organizations on that, all the UFC's. Fight Pass is the shit. Okay, here it is. Look. There he's a little bit wobbly there. But by then then wouldn't that have been boom how much time was left when that happened boom see he walked away maybe yeah

he walked away yeah if he had jumped on him and they stopped it i would get it but you could see uh he got dan touched him dan touched him watch dan Dan touch Roger Strix. He touches him there. Yeah, he walked away and then he waved it off after Alistair walked. Yeah, you're right. No, you know,

that's a good point. That's a real good point. I mean, it's still, maybe it's the cut was so nasty. It was so nasty, but. He walked away.

Interesting. Mere seconds from the final bell. That's why it made me feel bad for Overee because if he went down to hit him and he stopped it,

I would be like, he had to stop it. Right. But him walking away might have fucked him out of a win. Show that one more time. One more time it made me feel bad for Overy because if he went down to hit him and he stopped it, I would be like, he had to stop it. Right. But him walking away might have fucked him out of a win. Show that one more time. One more time. Let me see that one more time.

Watch this. He's moving away, hands down, gets caught, boom, gets dropped. Yeah, no,

you're right, got right back up. No, actually, it's a good point. Okay, now I changed my mind. I changed my mind.

When I saw it, I was just so stunned that he caught him in the last couple of seconds i know but it really does prove that but it's like you have to watch the fight until the end it was an exciting way for a fight yeah i mean it was like uh rodriguez uh korean zombie it's like yeah when a fight ends like that how do you ever watch a fight for you know you you can't not watch till the end that That elbow was insane. That elbow was insane. The way he threw that, like a look away elbow, and the Korean zombie just flatlines. You're like, holy shit.

Wasn't Rodriguez losing that fight too, if I remember? Yeah, he was. Yes. And then the Korean zombie just knocked out Frankie Edgar. He's an animal. Yeah, he is. The Korean zombie's a tough motherfucker. He had to take two years off to serve the South Korean army. army yeah military yeah military makes you uh it's mandatory it's like

israel you have to do mandatory uh military time you are and your thing with that have you talked to steven avery uh steven a uh smith yeah no uh i i like the way you handle that you're really honest dude and you didn't get caught up in the fact that he liked you and he's a big name in sports. I love how you spoke about it. Listen, I'm very good friends with Cowboy. I love that guy. Love him. He's awesome.

He's not a quitter. He doesn't quit. He got smashed. He didn't quit. That's my only observation. And Stephen A. Smith, his thing is talking shit he's a master at being this entertaining guy who talks shit about sports and um i don't think he's a bad guy i just think that's where that's how he butters his bread that's his thing right that's how he talked he talks shit

and but fighters i feel like it's a different thing. It's not just a sport. It's a sport where you're literally risking your life. You know, knock on wood, we've been very lucky in the UFC. We haven't had any loss of life. But it's 100% possible, and it definitely has happened in other organizations, and it happens in boxing every year. And if it happened in the UFC, it would be horrendous. And if it happened at Cowboy, if Cowboy died in the hospital that night,

and believe me, that's possible. Cowboy had a broken orbital bone and he had a broken nose, and he got beaten down by one of the biggest punchers in that division. I mean, 155 pounds really, but the way Conor cracked him, like, Conor, I don't care who you are. He hits you like like that you're in real big trouble he fractured cowboy's face if cowboy died in the hospital after stephen a smith or someone else was it was chastising him and mocking him and saying he quit he folded yeah imagine well he didn't do well look there he's got a point there cowboy did not perform well and the reason why he didn't perform well

is because Conor performed spectacularly that's what fighting is all about Jose Aldo who is one of the greatest fighters that's ever done it and at the time was the greatest featherweight of all time Conor flatlined him in 14 seconds with one punch

that doesn't mean that Jose Aldo didn't show up or Jose Aldo quit. It means Conor has a fucking brick for a fist and he throws it perfect. He's got massive power. Massive power and explosive speed. And he's a killer man. Conor McGregor. This motherfucker right here. He's a goddamn killer.

You know, I like him more than I used to, too. I was never a Conor fan. I liked him more after I saw him lose and how he handled a loss. And I just liked him. I watched him talk, and I'm like, yeah, I kind of like him. And it seems like this fight with Cowboy, he went into it differently than he has publicly in the past. And maybe that's just because he likes him, and then the next fight with Habib will be the same as he was. But I like him more now than I ever liked him. He definitely handled himself in public past. And maybe that's just because he likes him and in the next fight with Habib he'll be the same as he was. But I like him more now

than I ever liked him. He definitely handled himself in public better. But I also think honestly that he probably didn't feel like he had to play games with Cowboy. That he felt like Cowboy's style was tailor made for him. He felt like Cowboy

was stiff and he was going to be able to take him out and catch him and hurt him. And he did. He he was right he probably didn't feel like he needed to play psychological games yeah when you're fighting a guy like khabib khabib is such a destroyer he's such a fucking destroyer i mean i have seen him take guys with like extensive wrestling backgrounds guys like abel trujillo just ragdoll him just throw him around man michael johnson throw him around it's like you have no business in there with him. Just beats the fuck out of people. Mauls him.

Rafael dos Anjos, world champion. Grabs him. Throws him to the ground. Helpless. You can't do shit. It's claustrophobic looking. Watching it, like, I think, if I remember the Michael Johnson fight, the wrist control where he's just-

He had his arm tied behind his back. And he's punched him in the face. Said, quit. Quit. Yeah. Quit. You know I deserve title shot. Quit. You know my favorite one? He's talking about Con his arm tied behind his back, and he's punched him in the face. Said, quit, quit. Yeah. Quit. You know I deserve title shot. Quit.

You know, my favorite one was talking about Conor McGregor, and he's like, send me location. Send me location. Where are you? Tell me, send me location. He's like, dude, I'm coming for you. He's a monster. There's only two guys in the sport that are world champions, destroyers at that level who are undefeated one of them's john jones the other one's khabib yeah no one else is like that where they just smash everybody

john jones has one bullshit loss where the referee decided that the elbows were illegal and the referee was doing his job but it's nonsense that that fucking elbow rule is stupid he smashed that guy i wonder if that in a way too that loss was years ago i wonder if that because so many guys become undefeated and all of a sudden they lose one and then they lose a couple you wonder sometimes if an early loss like that takes the pressure of being undefeated like you know you've never been beaten but you still have that one l so there's not that that whole thing on your back like i can't lose i can't lose i can't get that one l john almost lost his last fight.

I want to see that Santos rematch more than I want to see Jones fight anybody. That makes him fucking crazy. That's the fight I want to see. I think if there was a Santos rematch, John Jones takes him down and beats the fuck out of him, if I had to guess. I think John Jones decided to try to stand up with him. And Brendan Schaub had an interesting take on it. He said John's playing with his food. He said he's bored.

He's just siding the kickbox with these guys. But, at the end of the day, after five rounds, there was a split decision. One judge scored it in favor of Tiago Santos. I don't necessarily agree. I'm not saying I agree. I watched the fight again last week, and it's

a great fight. I didn't score it though You know, I just enjoyed it. I think if you if you really want to score That's why I don't score fights when I'm watching them But sometimes you just know you don't have to score them I'll give this a bunch of knockdowns or someone beats a shit out of somebody and it's clear, you know, but That fight was not clear There was like there's moments where Tiago Santos rocked John and hurt him. When did he hurt himself?

I know the leg kicks in the first round were really, I thought they were being really effective. And then when did he hurt himself? Was it at the end of the first round or in the second round? I don't remember. I'd have to go back and watch it again. I think it was the second round. I think we isolated it on the camera, the truck,

because I was saying something's going on. I'm noticing the way he's moving. I've had two ACL blowouts. So I'm particularly sensitive when I see somebody moving funny on their knees. And when I was seeing him do that, I'm like, something's going on. And then the truck isolated a moment where you see his knee do this, where the knee, the bottom part of the knee pops forward. That's almost always an ACL because there's an instability to it

where it just gives out. And that was like the second round. It turned out he blew out both fucking knees. But at the end of the fight, both his knees were shot, and he's still throwing bombs, haymakers, and just looked like nothing was bothering him. I mean, he's in there with the best guy in the light heavyweight division unquestionably ever

And he got to a split decision on two blown out knees That's why I want to see a rematch with him I think he earned it Considering how he hurt himself That's the fight I want to see Is the rematch between Santos and Jones Although Jones might be heavyweight by the time he comes back Yeah he's going to be a long time

His knees Both knees are reconstructed He was walking with crazy crutches with both knees in braces and shit. He's fucked. Yeah. And who knows if he's going to come back well. When you blow your knees out like that, man, that's no guarantee because you're tearing the meniscus,

so all the soft tissue that separates the two knees, the two bones rather, all that's been chewed up. So they had to do a meniscectomy or whatever the fuck they call it, meniscopy. What do they call that? It's a scope. And how old is he? But what is the actual operation called? Is he 35?

Tiago? Yeah. I'm not sure. I don't think he's that old. He was a middleweight for a while, which is crazy. David Branch stopped him at middleweight. Guys beat him at middleweight I think he was just draining himself

Cutting too much weight Yeah But he's He's a fucking dangerous puncher man That's for sure And a real good striker Yeah And he fought disciplined in that fight

Which is interesting He fought sneaky and disciplined Yeah Has anybody done that to Jones' legs before? No I can't remember seeing anybody leg kick him that effectively No Well his leg kicks are devastating, too. I know.

Yeah. And John has those little tiny calves, too. His body's crazy. It's almost like a cartoon. Right? Because he's got these big-ass feet and this big, wide back, but these calves that are like my forearm. It's weird. Is that because he doesn't work them? Genetics.

His body just won't build larger ones? No, it's weird is that because he doesn't work them or is it by somebody's just won't genetics those larger ones yeah it's just genetics but listen it's a fucking perfect combat sports body because he's so long and he's so strong it's not like he's skinny and weak he's thin and ridiculously strong like when he talked daniel cormier down everybody was like holy fuck he just took down one of the best wrestlers to ever compete in MMA. And he did it in the first round. When both of them are fresh. You're like, wow. John is strong. You can see it when he gets a hold

of guys. He's the GOAT. He's the greatest light heavyweight of all time. Maybe the greatest fighter of all time. The only guys that are close is, in my mind, it's Mighty Mouse is one of them. Fedor is another one. But I think John has had better competition. I think John's had the best competition.

Yeah, he has fought everybody. And Cormier, I know, wants to fight Stipe. A third fight with those guys. I would love to see Cormier and Ganu. That's a fight that I would love to see. It's never going to happen. DC will never do it. I don't want to see that.

I love DC. I don't want to see him fight love DC I don't want to see him Fight that guy I always thought DC would You know Because DC is so good At getting in I always had a feeling

He'd be able to take him down Save it Save all that shit Save all that shit That's the To me That is the scariest man In MMA

Is Francis He is yeah The scariest When he punched Alistair Overeem And Alistair Overeem Was literally looking At the back of his heels. His head

snapped back so far he could see his feet. It was terrifying. It was also what he just did to Junior and to Curtis Blades. After two losses. Kane. Yeah. It was like fuck. He fixed whatever it was that he needed to fix. Yeah. Well you know those guys just couldn't stand with him.

The question is like what Stipe is that those guys aren't is first of all all, Stipe's an excellent wrestler. He also is a world champion and the most accomplished world champion ever. He's the first guy to ever defend the title. I think he defended it three times or four times. I think four in the fifth one is what he lost. Four times. Yeah.

Stipe's the most accomplished heavyweight champion of all time, and now he's won the title for a second time. And the way he beat DC in the third fight or the second fight rather with those left hooks to the body. I was like, God damn,

those were nasty. Third or fourth round, right? Fourth round. he was, I think, losing that fight. Just couldn't make it happen

and DC was honest though. He said that, I like the idea of punching him in the face. Like, he didn't want to just listen to his corner. He felt too good to punch

and he just wanted to knock him out. in the first fight. Yeah. But I've speculated that one of the reasons why he knocked him out in the first round, in the first fight, was two things. One, it was a beautiful punch where he set it up while he was pummeling. And I don't think Stipe saw it coming.

I think it was a perfectly placed punch. He hit him on the jaw perfectly. I think it was a perfectly placed punch. He hit him on the jaw perfectly. And also, I think Stipe was probably still a little hurt from that Francis Ngannou fight. Because Francis Ngannou and him went to war for five rounds. And particularly in the first two rounds, Francis hit Stipe with some fucking bombs. Stipe weathered a storm, but it might have made him more susceptible to being knocked out.

Because of a couple of those shots he took. Yeah, man. When you get a fight where you get beat up like that, even if you win, he took some hard, hard, hard shots. That takes something out of your salesman. And especially, you know, to fight him just a few months later. Right after that big, crazy fight with Ngannou. Like, really? A guy like that like stipe especially he's like 36 i think at his age you know you have a war like that with ingano you should have one of

those a year maybe yeah and then for like six months you shouldn't do jack shit you should go in cryo chambers and fucking hyperbaric chambers and get massages and let your body heal up you were in a car accident yeah you know you got run over by a truck, and you survived. What do you think of, I'm looking forward to Adesanya. I kind of wanted to see Paulo Costa get the fight, but the fact that he's doing it with Romero is still a great fight. I'm happy it's Yoel Romero for two reasons. One, because Paulo Costa, they can do in the future. Paulo Costa is only like 29 years old.

He's a young guy, just like Adesanya. And two, stylistically, I want to see, I still want to see Paulo Costa is only like 29 years old. He's a young guy, just like Adesanya. And two, stylistically, I want to see, I still want to see Paulo Costa. I mean, Paulo Costa is a monster, man. He's a monster. I'm really, I mean, especially after he beat Yoel like that, really interested in seeing him fight Israel. But stylistically, I'm interested in Yoel Romero versus Israel because of the wrestling. Because Yoel's wrestling is crazy.

He's one of the most powerful guys that's ever fought in that division. He's enormous for that division. And he's so fucking explosive. And he can take a crazy shot. I mean, if you look at the two of them together. Yeah. I mean, Izzy is taller and longer. And Yoel is just fucking jacked

He's not even built like a real human his waist is this tiny thing his muscles are fucking preposterous When you see him you're like, oh, that's a comic book guy. That's not a real person. He's a comic book person He's 40 years old 41 years old. He's 41 still jacked Super super jacked and I think he's 41. Still jacked. Super, super jacked. And I think, honestly, he should have already been the champion. I think he beat Robert Whittaker in the second fight. My feeling is that he hurt him more. He was more effective. And there was two rounds that easily could have been 10-8 rounds where he had Robert Whittaker fucking staggered.

And if that was the case, he would have won the title. Was it a split decision? I don't remember. I don't know. I don't remember. Google Yoel Romero versus Robert Whitaker. I don't know. I mean, split decisions are so crazy, right?

It's like, what if Tiago Santos is the UFC light heavyweight champion now? Because one judge says he should be. Two judges say he isn't. Split decisions are real weird. I think there's not enough judges. There should be at least five judges. There probably should be two judges say he isn't split decisions are real weird i think there's not enough judges there should be at least five judges it probably should be 10 and i think we should also have an online judging i think they should have that and maybe they don't take it into consideration in term but but for us what does it say here unanimous unanimous decision what by one point on each judge's scorecard and i i disagreed with that but you know that's okay um very

interesting yeah i'm looking forward to that i don't remember when the fight is but i'm looking forward to it yeah that's uh when is that when is is eol is that march in vegas i think it's yes it yeah march 7th and ferguson cabib is in Brooklyn, right? Yes. You going to that? I don't know. It depends if I'm working that weekend. Take that weekend off, Jimmy. I got a bunch of dates that are now up, so I may be working. I don't remember.

I'm super pumped for Dominic Reyes and Jon Jones. Yes. That is a dangerous fight for Jon Jones. Dominic Reyes, he is not getting enough credit. He's 12-0. He has a fucking ruthless left hand. He's super athletic, and he's really tall. He's really tall and long.

And he's a young guy. He's 30 years old. And John has to take that guy really fucking seriously. I did think, if I remember correctly, I remember thinking Uzdemir won the fight. I thought he should have gotten the decision over Reyes. Over Dominic? Yeah. Really close. Yeah, it was interesting. Look at that stats again, the tail of the tape,

Jamie. Look at the difference in the reach. Jon Jones has an 83 and a half, 84 and a half inch reach, and then you look at Dominic Reyes, it's 77. That's interesting. That's the width of the shoulders. John is so long. You're measuring tip to tip like this. And one thing that John excels at is keeping people at distance, but he's fighting a guy that's his height. That guy's just as long as him. I mean, not as wide. Obviously the reach is different in terms of the width of the

shoulders, but Dominic Cruz's footwork and movement is excellent. His kicks are excellent. He's got nasty power in his hands, and he's got a lot of confidence, man. He's undefeated coming into 12-0. That guy is a killer. What he did to Chris Weidman, I was like, holy shit. Yeah, that was a rough one to watch. It's hard to watch.

Am I crazy to think that Gustafson had that kind of reach too? Yes, he did. He did, right? He was closer to Jones than most guys. Gustafson, although he has fantastic combinations and excellent boxing, does not have one punch power the way Dominic Reyes has. Dominic Reyes sets things up

and when he moves in, boom! He drops things on you and dudes fold. Like when he fought OSP. He knocked out OSP with no time in the fight. It was basically like a couple of seconds to go in the fight. He cracked OSP and they didn't give him the knockout which I don't understand because he I mean it was way worse than Alistair and and Rosenstreich I mean he he had OSP out he was gone and they they didn't stop the fight and I'm like I don't understand this this is like it was

confusing to me because he walked away like it was over and it looked see if you can find that dominic reyes um drops osp who was winning the fight at that point dominic reyes was but osp gave him some trouble he he he gave him some trouble what i mean dominic was definitely winning the fight but osb had his moments definitely had his moments and in and i watched that fight about uh a month ago or so and when i was watching i was trying to find moments where i think john could capitalize that osb couldn't but osb is a very strong guy he's a lot of guys struggle with him including john jones john jones struggled with osb it powerhouse, man. You can't fuck up with OSP. He

KOs guys. He can KO people with one punch. He KO'd Shogun with one punch. He KO'd Corey Anderson, I think. And I think that was John's first fight back after a while. He was taking that layoff and that was his first fight back after a suspension or he had been gone for a while.

And no one thought that OSP was going to go the distance. Didn't they go five and he got the decision? Yep, they did. So here it is. So here's Dominic Reyes. Watch this. He's moving. Boom!

He drops him. Look at that. He's out, yeah. He's out. Look at that. He's just lying there, out. And Dominic Reyes moves off like that's it. And they don't stop the fight.

And the referee stands over and lets him get back up to his feet. And the bell rang and they didn't call it a knockout. I'm like, okay, that's a knockout, man. You couldn't justify keeping that fight going. But that's what I bet your Overeem wishes would have happened, was that they would have let him just walk away. A hundred percent. And listen, if Dan Mergliata, and Dan did his job,

because Dan's supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, right? I think he should have called the fight, but Dan is supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, not the fighter. he should have called the fight, but Dan is supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, not the fighter. So when Dominic, play that again. When Dominic KOs him, all he had to do was follow up with a couple strikes, and then the fucking show's over. Watch this. But it's beautiful footwork.

I love how he did it, too. So OSP's moving because he's behind, and so he's trying to move forward and press and trying to catch him. And Dominic's moving, and OSP presses him, and he uses good footwork to avoid this too. He catches that left kick, which is OSP's power side. And as OSP is setting it up, you see he goes

southpaw again. So he's looking for that left kick again. There it is. Boom. Count it. Look. Step over. Bang. Left hand. And then referee's waiting for him to follow up. So if he just jumped on him there and followed up instead of walking with his hands up, the buzzer may have gone off somewhere around then. I don't know when the buzzer went off.

Yeah, it was like 20 seconds, 21 seconds when he hit him. Yeah, but Dan Mergley, see if we can get some volume on that. Oh, no, it was a lot less than that. A lot less. He's stuck, in my opinion. He's coming. Oh! That is it!

That is it! So right at the horn. So he dropped him at the horn. I still think they should have stopped it. But I don't know. Whatever. He won the fight. But look, he basically knocked him out with a second to go.

You know? But he's got a different fight in front of him this weekend with Jon Jones. Jon Jones has such a history of success against the best fighters on the planet. Jon finds a way to win, man. He does, man. He finds a way. And it's like that was the good thing about that Gustafson fight, the first one. It was such a—if I remember right, Jones really turned it on in rounds four and five.

I thought Gustafson was ahead maybe two to one, and then rounds four and five, Jones won. And again, I don't know if that's a correct recollection, but I remember being like, fuck, that's why he's a champion. He won the final round for sure, and he wasn't even in shape. He didn't train for that fight. They said he just fucked off and was partying and having a good time. He just thought he was unbeatable. And he said something really interesting to me when he came in here.

He said he always gave himself an excuse so that like if he did lose he could always say well you know what at least i didn't train right like if i trained then i would have beat that guy but he was still beating people even though he wasn't training hard and then he started ramping it up and actually training hard and when he almost lost everything you know when he got arrested and all that shit that happened to him and he almost lost his career then when it came back he had much more of a sense of urgency because he realized like what a gift it really was yeah I'm happy he's back to and I honestly after that yeah I was out there with Matt and

after they told us like no man the fights not happening I thought like he he's never gonna watch him fight again he'll never fight again I thought so too when he crashed in that lady's car and took off i was like oh my god he might go to jail and you know i just felt bad that he was doing that in the first place just all of it everything was wrong yeah there's too much partying but sometimes someone needs some sort of a giant scare to horrible series of events where you realize like oh i can't i can't do this anymore i gotta live my life in a better way yeah you have to almost have everything taken away from you but i believe

that dominic reyes is the most dangerous fighter john jones has faced since daniel carmier i think dominic reyes presents a very unique series of challenges first of all the length the undefeated record he's 12 and oh there's confidence that comes The undefeated record. He's 12-0. There's confidence that comes with undefeated fighters. Dominic is extremely confident. He's a believer in himself. And that belief in himself has led him to stop

guys like Chris Weidman, to knock out OSP with one second to go. He's got belief in his power. He's got legit one-punch knockout power. He's got great footwork and movement. He just had the opportunity to see John struggle with Thiago Santos. He's got legit one-punch knockout power. He's got great footwork and movement. He just had the opportunity to see John struggle with Tiago Santos. He has a style. He can mimic that kind of success, the chopping at the legs. I think this is a dangerous fight for John, but I also think John knows it's a dangerous fight for John, and John is a champion, a real champion, the greatest champion the light heavyweight division has ever known unquestionably, and I think he's going to rise to the occasion.

I think we're going to see the best John Jones. I think John Jones needs a real threat to scare him and work him up. And I don't know if Tiago Santos was that for him. Maybe not. Tiago Santos was a title defense, a chance for him to fight. But I don't think that's what he gets scared of. I think John needs someone like a Dominic Reyes, a real threat, so that you see

who he was in the second fight with Daniel Cormier when he head kicked DC and knocked him out. The second fight with Gustafson when he smashed him. That's the real John Jones. John Jones when he's pressed. And I think that Dominic Reyes presents that kind of a problem. And I think you're going to see a fucking

killer John Jones next weekend. I think he's going to see a fucking killer John Jones next weekend. I think he's going to be on fire. I can't wait. That's a week from this Saturday? Yes. Yeah, I can't wait. I'm so pumped. The moment I stop feeling like this, I'll stop calling fights.

But right now, man, I fucking love it. Dude, there's always fights I want to see. Always fights I want to see. There's always something I'm looking forward to. There's never not two or three fights on the horizon that I want to see. Look at this. Dana White says Kamaru Usman versus Jorge Masvidal planned for International Fight Week.

Wow. Dun, dun, dun. Yeah, they just had a little shit at the Super Bowl. I was wrong, too. I'm a fucking idiot. I thought it was going to be Conor against Masvidal. That's who I thought the next fight was going to be. That's a great fight. That's a great fight. That's a great fight.

I think Conor really wants Khabib. And Dana keeps saying they're going to try to make a rematch. But I don't know why they're saying that when Khabib has to fight Tony motherfucking Ferguson. Tony's the boogeyman. That nickname, El Kukui, that's a perfect nickname for that guy. That guy's terrifying. He never gets tired.

No. He never gets tired. Everybody who fights him looks like they fell off a train. It's crazy. That's the fight everybody has wanted to see. And again, is that March or April? April. Okay, yeah, that's still a ways away.

And then who knows how that fight goes, how long Khabib takes to get better. Khabib doesn't want to have anything to do with Conor. He's like, fuck that dude. And Khabib's dad said, give him $100 million, we'll fight him. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't think he can make $100 million. The only way he can make $100 million

is if he gets the kind of numbers that Floyd Mayweather versus Conor got. Or if the UFC decides to bankroll it and gamble and give him $100 million. I mean, they might do that. Because here's one thing we have to take into consideration about Khabib. He's not just an enormous star in the United States. He's a

huge superstar in the muslim world huge huge he's a super religious guy i mean he celebrates ramadan he's you know that's he's very respectful this is one of the reasons why connor's trash talking all that was so infuriating to him he's a different guy man he's a man of virtue still drives a fucking toyota he's worth millions and millions of dollars he's not he's not a flashy dude he's a fucking warrior and he doesn't want to have that kind of situation again in his eyes they fought once he smashed connor and he got him he got him to tap he choked him and he's like good i did it fight's over i did what i want to do fuck you you know and then when they're saying, we need to make a rematch. No, no, no.

No, we had the fight. I fucked him up. He can suck my dick. I'm going to go do other things. That's what he's thinking. I think, not the suck the dick part. Yeah, yeah. I think Khabib versus Tony

is the toughest fight of Khabib's career. I really believe that. I think Tony Ferguson is a nightmare for anybody, especially right now. When you watch his fight with Anthony Pettis, when you watch how he busted up Donald Cerrone, I think Tony Ferguson is the scariest guy for anybody at 155 pounds to fight. He doesn't get tired. He fucking has bricks for hands.

And I had Josh Thompson in here the other day. Josh was saying when Tony Ferguson grabs him you know he said you can't believe how big his hands are he just wraps his hands around his wrist he goes I couldn't get my hands free he goes

his fucking hands are so big and strong that's part of what he does I've never been in his presence so I don't know how yeah he's a spooky dude there's something about him

like he ain't normal he's not a normal guy he's eccentric but in the good way yeah like especially when it comes to being a fighter he does all his own training.

He's got all this crazy shit he does where he does wing chung dummies and break dances. There's a lot of shit that nobody ever does. Did you see the video we put out? Kind of a Tony Ferguson tribute workout video in the gym. It was very amusing. Tony's a unique individual. There's no other Tony Ferguson. There's no one that I could even think of that reminds me of Tony Ferguson. No one he's so different

You know that said khabib's the fucking man. I mean no one runs through people the way khabib does he smashes people He drags him to the ground. He out wrestles him. He pummels on me beats him down You know, he's an undeniable, unstoppable force. The two of them together, it's an epic fight. But I would not be making any plans if I was Dana or if I was anybody else. I would not be making any plans because Khabib can win that fight.

Yeah. I mean, Tony can win that fight too. Either one of those guys, I mean, Khabib can win that fight, but it's not guaranteed. Tony can win that fight too. Ferguson can win that fight. but it's not guaranteed. Tony can win that fight too. Ferguson can win that fight. They both can win. I just want the fight to happen. Is this the fourth or fifth time

it's been scheduled? I just want the fight to happen. You're telling me. I'm just begging and pleading that these guys keep it together. I can only hope. I only hope and pray that they keep it together. It's a fucking amazing fight man amazing and caitlin is fighting when is she fighting valentina because i'm gonna take her

up on that offer but i'm not gonna do it until yeah she's the co-main for john trance right yeah that's a dangerous fight that's a dangerous fight for her valentina's scary yeah she is she's a killer that woman's a killer she has nasty power when she knocked out Jessica I with that head kick I'm like holy fuck man yeah she's frightening I mean I want to see Caitlyn because I know her so it's hard to root for people when you've interviewed all the fighters you like all of them

by rooting for someone you're kind of by proxy rooting against someone else it's hard to root against someone who you've liked and interviewed it's hard to be objective when you call me as I'm calling the fights it's very hard you know especially if there's someone like donald fighting who's actually a good friend when i watch him fight you know what he was the really hard one really hard with shab because shab and i are tight yeah dude when he would fight it was so hard for me because i knew he wouldn't shouldn't be fighting anymore and he was getting

knocked out i was like god damn this is it was painful like i couldn't sleep after the fights i'd be i'd be just thinking about it going this he's gotta stop he's gonna get hurt yeah he's getting hurt he was getting hurt he's getting knocked out and and he's getting knocked out at heavyweight you know with guys like ben rothwell putting those giant mitts on him and travis brown pummel him I'm like fuck you know it's just like this this is not good you know and I I'm so close with him he's you know he's one of my favorite people so me watching him getting beat up I was like fuck it was so hard to call his fights so hard yeah because you're watching somebody you care about get hurt yeah Yeah, and I have to be excited. You know, when Travis is putting it on him, I mean, I have to treat it like I don't even like Brendan.

Like, we're not even friends. I have to treat it like it's just a fight. You know, it's hard. But it's also, you know, just hard personally. Not hard in the moment, but hard on you after it's over. It's like, you know, when you're watching someone fight that shouldn't be fighting anymore, whether it's someone you're close to like i was close with brendan or whether it's you know there's there's fighters that you know fight towards the end of their career like bj penn

some of his last fights i'm like god damn it you know he was a legend and in his prime he's like one of the greatest of all time guaranteed like a real phenom a freak and to see him just be a shell of himself. Or in the street, fighting in the street. Yeah, that was awful. When Frankie Edgar beat the fuck out of him, I was like, someone's got to stop him. He's got to stop.

When Frankie got on top of him and was just smashing him, I was like, someone's got to stop this. He can't do this anymore. It's hard, man. You know, it's the greatest thing Those guys ever experience In their life And something that you or I Will never be able to appreciate

We've never experienced That kind of glory Yeah It's a It must be a high That's indescribable I'll never feel it But it must be

To be a world champion Like a BJ Penn Fuck man It's gotta be hard To chase that Yeah For the next 30 years trying to find anything It's like someone who stops doing stand-up on a lesser level What do you do to make you feel good or to bring you that? Nothing well the beautiful thing about stand-up is we don't have to stop no George Carlin died in a hotel room

Did he uh? Have you know heart attack, but did he do in the hospital? I'm fairly sure he went to the hospital Okay But he died When he was staying In a hotel room Yeah He was staying on the road

He was working Yeah Yeah he drove That's right Ralphie died in a hotel room Right Or he didn't die In someone's house

Panette might have died In a hotel Yeah I believe John Panette Died in a hotel room I think you're right I saw he had lost So much weight

And I saw him I was like How you doing man Cause he was trying To get off all the stuff He was on Yeah And then Was he on pills I heard he was Yeah so much weight, and I saw him. I was like, how you doing, man? Because he was trying to get off all the stuff he was on. Was he on pills? I heard he was, yeah. I didn't know him.

I was close. He knew I was sober, so we talked briefly about it, but it wasn't a long conversation. When I was first starting out, when I was an open mic, or Panette was one of the favorite guys at Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston. He was established when I was just starting out. I remember watching him just murder one night. He had this bit about going to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, and they're screaming at him,

you get out! Oh, yeah, yeah. You eat too much! You go now, yeah. Yeah, you go now! Yeah, that was what it was. Very famous bit. He murdered, we did a fucking Montreal one time.

It was like a gala, and all of us were bombing. Anthony Clark ate his dick. I ate my dick. Nobody was doing well. And this was a gala in Montreal. And we're like, ah, this crowd sucks. And then fucking Panette went on and blew a hole through the stage. And you're like, it was us.

He had so much power. He was so good. Yeah, he was so good. He had so much power. And I think the only thing that ever held him back was his health you know i think if he was healthier right you know he would have been able to because he had energy on stage like he was he was fucking going yeah he was on stage and that's you know real boston style that aggressive attacking style and just murderously funny yeah it's got to be

hard too when you're when you're fat and your whole thing is like, I'm a big fat guy. And there's so much material built around it. And it's who you are. Right. It's got to be scary to lose the weight. Oh, yeah. It is hard. Well, you know, Kevin James, when he was young, he had a different manager.

We have the same manager now. But he had a different manager. And his manager literally told him if you lose weight You're losing rolls Like roles in TV right right right, and I was like you can listen to that guy like what are you talking about? You don't think you're gonna be funny if you're thinner the fuck out of your funny, dude Yeah, you're funny all the time like but they they'll mind fuck you You know they wanted him to be the jolly fat guy and like there's money in the jolly fat guy Like do you want this guy to stay alive

You fucking asshole But you wonder too if you change Like I always wonder if I change the things I hate about myself Or that I don't like about myself Am I funny anymore Nothing to talk about Call me if you don't think so You're funny man

You're funny period It's not rational It's like a crazy thought you have Like what do I do without this stuff Well I'm very lucky I don't have that thought process But you can get away with it too You can get out of that thought process you don't need that that that thing if i if i do that will i be any good you're good you're a great joke writer you're a funny comic you kill you make me laugh hard you're one of the few guys like when i was in austin i

was doing some shit with on it remember that time you were working there and i came to see you at the comedy club i had a great time. You made me happy. It was fun. It was fun sitting in the crowd and watching you kill. Your kind of comedy is my kind of comedy. It was a treat. I was like, this is great.

So if you don't think that if you got healthy or something like that, you wouldn't be funny. You're crazy. But it's just that crazy thing that you think. It's not a rational thing. It's the tape that plays. It's also a defense mechanism. Your brain is trying to trick you into not

getting better because there's a lot of pressure in improving yourself. That's why junkies a lot of times fall back. Alcoholics fall back. They fall back on it because there's comfort in failing because they've failed so many times before. The pressure of not 99 days and no drinking. I can't believe it.

That happens with gamblers, too. With gamblers, man. Oh, there's the fucking rush of the gambling. Hey, I've been good, man. I've been good. I ain't playing the cards. I ain't doing shit. You know, I've been jogging a lot.

And then one day you see them all fucking eyes wide crazy looking like they're exhausted been playing cards all night fucking shirts untucked yeah the gambling one man i never got into that one gambling scares me that terrifies me because i know i would lose everything it's like sex it's like everything else it's like drugs or anything anything that's a compulsion where it becomes your main obsession more than positive things in your life. Yeah. And it's what are you willing to sacrifice for? Because people think, well, sex is not addicting, but it's like anything else.

What am I willing to give up to get it? Right. And what am I willing to sacrifice or risk to engage in it? Yes. Are you willing to risk your freedom? Are you willing to risk your whatever? Right. There's a lot of things that addiction makes you do and they they're just not normal people behavior yeah it's not normal people

behavior and you wonder like what is the root of those kind of obsessions like what what evolutionary benefit is being obsessed with sex or being obsessed with gambling or being obsessed with drugs like what is it that makes people gravitate towards those things where just everything else seems so secondary. And then now like, I got to get to the casino. Got to get to that fucking casino. I knew people like that, especially from my pool hall days,

real gambling junkies that were always chasing that track. Always trying to score, playing the lotto and looking to gamble on games and cards. And like Artie Lang, who talks about it. I mean, with Artie, the gambling thing was really similar to him to the drug thing you know the gambling the addiction to gambling like he just

loved being in action come on what do we got and that was a thing a lot like the drug thing i can't do it with sports it just seems like such a fucking waste of money like i just can't put that kind of energy into hoping come on two outs to go fucking exhausting and i can't put that kind of energy into hoping, come on, two outs to go! Fucking exhausting. I can't make myself do it. I'm glad I can't because I know I would like it. Rich Voss was a fucking horrible gambler. I kind of learned a lot from watching Voss

and how out of control and how obsessive he was. I know I would be. It makes watching fights more fun. I don't gamble on fights. I used to. I used to gamble in the old days of the UFC because nobody told me I couldn't. I makes watching fights more fun. I don't gamble on fights. I used to. I used to gamble in the old days of the UFC because nobody told me I couldn't. I'm like, I can't affect the outcome. Sure.

I'm just calling the fight. But then when I stopped, Aubrey, my partner at Onnit, I would give him tips. We'd sit down with the card. And I'm like fucking 89%, man. Are you really? Oh, my God. Yeah. And there was a few

that would come out every now and then where I'd be like bet the fucking house you know there's a few where the people that are making the odds they don't know

you know they didn't know they knew Anderson Silva was good they didn't know he was that good that one I was like what is this? I mean was it 3 to 1?

but what do you how much do you own? push it all on the Brazilian. Push it all, baby. There's always a few fights where a guy comes up from another organization, and I'm like, listen to me right now. That guy is a motherfucking murderer.

You've got to put all the money on that guy. We were like, one time, Arby and I, with me as a pick, I think he was at 89% over a period of a couple of years. I have such a shit record of picking fights. Me and Matt used to do a thing at the end of Unfiltered where, hey, let's just try to guess the car. I was fucking horrendous at it. It's really

hard to do. It's hard. Really hard. Well, with some fights, you're just guessing. With some fights, you're literally guessing. You're just like, I don't know. I don't know. Tony Ferguson and Khabib, I'm guessing. It's hard to literally guessing. You're just like, I don't know. I don't know. Tony Ferguson and Khabib, I'm guessing. It's hard to bet against Khabib, but it's hard to bet against Ferguson. The last time Ferguson lost was when he got a broken arm versus Michael Johnson, and he's run through world-class fighter after world-class fighter since then.

I think he's a fucking monster, but I don't know. I don't know who's going to win that fight. I mean, it's real hard to bet against Khabib. Khabib's undefeated, 28-0, smashes everybody, but Tony's got an interesting style. He can fight off his back. He fights on the ground. He's not going to try to get back up. He's going to attack off of his back. Everybody loses sometime. I mean, most

guys don't retire undefeated, so the odds get... That's why I thought that one loss with Jones might have taken that pressure off him. Look at Taito Iwasa. What was he? I want taken that pressure off him. Look at, wait, Tai Tuivasa. Yeah. What was he? Was he, I want to say 8-0 at one point, and then he's lost three. Right.

He's a great fighter, but it might get in your head a little bit. There might be something that happens when you lose that first fight. Well, Tai, you know, Tai's fighting the best in the world, you know, at heavyweight. And at heavyweight, you can't make any mistakes, man. Those giant dudes with big-ass fists come slamming on your head. Especially in Gano. Can't make any mistake. That fight, I'm so curious. Man, those giant dudes big-ass fists come slamming on your head Especially the in Ghana Can't make any mistake that fight. I'm so curious me too. I would lean towards in Ghana, but I don't know how much Rosen strike can fight man. He can fight he's nasty. I want to see what it's like, you know Look, I thought in Ghana had an edge over Derek Lewis. Derek Lewis won that fight. And I know that was Ngannou dealing with the worry after he had lost to Stipe

and he really psychologically had an issue, didn't fight his fight. But Rosenstreich's a different animal, man. Rosenstreich's a different animal than Derek Lewis because he's a real seasoned professional kickboxer. I'm going to take Ngannou only because of what he's done since that loss. Those three, I mean, I thought Blades actually

stood a chance because he had that one fight where it was, I think, a doctor stoppage in the second. So I'm like, he's taken Ngannou's punches before. He may be in his head a little,

but fucking ran through him, Kane, and Junior. So I can't ever pick against Ngannou again until he loses again. Well, he's better now

than he's ever been before. And I think the loss to Stipe, ultimately, I know he struggled a little bit in the ever been before. And I think the loss to Stipe, ultimately, I know he's struggled a little bit in the Derek Lewis fight, but I think the loss to Stipe ultimately has made him a better fighter. Yeah. He just understands what it's like to lose. He understands what it's like to face the best heavyweight on record ever in Stipe.

You know, he went five rounds with the GOAT. Stipe's the GOAT. Yeah, he is. He's defended the title more than anybody that's ever done it in the history of the heavyweight division. And having that kind of experience against a guy like Stipe, I think is fucking hugely valuable. So I'm going to train.

The next time I see you, I will have trained. I'm committing to it. Come on, bro. I've been committing for two years to that, but I'm committing that I'm going to do it. Bourdain didn't start until he was 58. I know. Yeah. He got obsessed with it.

I think he did obsess with it. He loved it. Loved it. Loved it. didn't start till he was 58 i know yeah he got obsessed with it i think he did fights he loved loved it loved it dude when i did his television show he and i were rolling around in the dirt i was showing him positions and i was like you got long arms you like darces he's like yeah i go i got another move for you you know about the japanese necktie we're going all these in the grass like i'm like from now from here you gotta turn it and we're doing all this stuff he was like obsessed he loved it he loved it. He loved it. Yeah, it was amazing to see because I had known him before when he was drinking and smoking and was fat and out of shape and taking statins because his high blood pressure, his cholesterol

or blood pressure? What are statins for? Cholesterol, right? Is that what it is? Yeah. His body was very unhealthy. And the doctors gave him an option it's like look you could change the way you eat or take these statins and he decided to take statins yeah because

he loved drinking and eating and stuff but then he got obsessed with jujitsu and he did he got off the medication he didn't need it anymore lost all his weight looked ripped you know it was interesting and i think a lot of people that have addictive personalities and he certainly did they can benefit from something that you're addicted to that's really good. Remember you saying that your mom used to say that to you? Replace it with something better. She left me a message because I had talked about getting prostitutes on the radio. So she quoted Dr. Phil.

That's right. And I made my message on my second CD about, go, you'll meet some nice people. But she was right. I met nice people. I felt better about myself when meet some nice people. But she was right. I met nice people. I felt better about myself when I went to the gym. Mother was right. Yeah.

She was right. You just, you know, you got to replace one thing with the other. The thing about going to the gym is sometimes you just go to the gym, it's fucking boring and people quit. They don't feel stimulated enough.

But if you take classes, that's when it's fun. Yeah. Like you take yoga classes or kickboxing classes or someone's teaching you things Then it becomes fun I just have two trainers

Like I like having a trainer Because it makes me go I have to show up Because on my own I'm fucking worthless That helps That helps Classes are good too though

Because a bunch of people Are doing it with you Like there's a bunch of people In there And you're struggling I like yoga Because of that Because we're all in it together

You know We're all struggling together I've done some yoga But I just did I did a little bit I didn't have the patience for because we're all in it together, you know? We're all struggling together. I've done some yoga, but I just did a little bit. I didn't have the patience for it. You're breathing. Focus on your breathing. I don't know how to focus on my breathing.

My breathing sucks. So I can't breathe deep. I don't do it right. Your nose is jacked. It's terrible. Get your nose fixed, homie. I got to wrap this up. Great, man.

It's 4 o'clock. Listen, man, always a pleasure. Yes. I'm glad we did this. Me too, buddy. Every chance we can. Can I ask people to watch The Degenerates

Yes On Netflix On season two And just go to my site I got a whole bunch Oh and The Irishman They asked me to plug The Irishman Are you in The Irishman?

Yes I haven't seen it yet Yeah yeah I played Don Rickles Oh shit Do you really? Yeah yeah That's amazing

I got one scene I gotta watch that movie Jim Norton on Instagram Jim Norton on Twitter JimNorton.com. You got it. Alright. Love you, buddy. I love you, man. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. Bye, everybody.