The Joe Rogan Experience - #1424 - Tom Papa

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. Check out his new special "You're Doing Great!" now streaming on Netflix.

Tommy Papa! Joey! What's going on, buddy? You looking at that tarantula hawk? Yeah. The size of that sucker, huh? I know. I found one of those in my tub once.

That's straight from Maynard's farm. Maynard from Tool? Uh-huh. Yeah, he sent me that. Oh, wow. He found that fucking thing. Jesus. Yeah, he was explaining it to me, and then he sent me one.

Because he's... That's how he rolls. That's how he rolls. They're the coolest. You brought bread. You know I'm on this all meat diet. I know. You said I bring bread.

Fuck with me. But you have a family. You have a family. I'll deviate a little bit. I'll deviate. You might want to take a look at it later. I deviated over this weekend. You did?

Yeah. I went to Disneyland, and I had ice cream. Oh, boy. And then Friday night, or Saturday night. Saturday night, I went to Disneyland, and I had ice cream. Oh, boy. And then Friday night or Saturday night. Saturday night, I had pasta. I had all kinds. I had Girl Scout cookies. I ate a bunch of Girl Scout cookies.

And, dude, I'm telling you, Sunday, my back was hurting. Really? Like, Monday, my back was hurting. Everything was like my knee was hurting. All this, like, inflammation. It's crazy. Achy, puffy. Yeah.

One day back, two days days because today's tuesday so i ate carnivore monday and tuesday everything's normal yet no really no more aches and pains so you were full on meat for a whole month a whole month but how many meals a day two usually two yeah usually a small meal around noon after I work out, and then dinner. All right. And no eggs? No... Yeah, I would eat eggs. Eggs and fish.

Eggs, fish, meat. Meat. Just no carbohydrates. No vegetables at all. No vegetables at all. No fruits, no bread, of course. No, I had an olive. No, two olives.

And two pieces of chili mango the entire month. Two glorious olives. But the pieces of chili mango the entire month. Two glorious olives. But the pieces of chili mango, I legitimately felt guilty. I love chili mango. I've never had chili mango. Oh, my God, really? No. It's one of the greatest creations.

What is it? Like a chili pepper mango? It's dried mangoes, but with chili powder all over them. It's Mexican. Big hit in the Mexican community. Dried? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good dude it's so good because it's got the sweetness from the dried mangoes yeah but then it's got the spiciness from the chili powder oh that's right up my alley it's so good i ate two pieces i was

only gonna eat one i was like fuck it let me have another one and i ate that second one i'm like oh no what have i done why did you decide to do it in the first place? The diet? Yeah. Well, because January is World Carnivore Month. And I know quite a few people that have done it that have had some serious results. And serious results with autoimmune issues, too. I have vitiligo, which is an autoimmune disease.

It causes you to have these patches where you don't have pigment. Oh, really? And this month, I had the best results that i've ever had with vitiligo like it's transient it's it comes and goes it comes and goes depending upon how well i'm taking care of myself um treatments and stuff like that but this this month it's uh i've had all these spots fill in like a pretty rapid rate really people with eczema have had spectacular results with it. Now, if you were to suggest to someone who wouldn't eat just meat, what percentage meat, after going through this, do you think you would?

I think the problem is not plants as much as the problem really is refined sugar, carbohydrates, and bullshit. Right. That's what I think. I think that's the problem. Does cheese count in that? You can eat cheese. You can eat cheese?

You can eat cheese. Really? It's an animal product, yeah. Oh. I think for most people, the real problem is junk. Yeah. You know, candy, sugar, pasta. Bread. Glorious bread bread even that bread that bread's probably better because it has less gluten because you make sourdough bread yeah it's um just flour water

salt and yeast it's healthier for you but i think still i think bread in general just the the idea of bread is uh it's a human created product right true you get all that concentrated carbohydrates in a very weird form it's like glue i mean look at look what it is when you're making the dough total glue that eventually becomes glue in your stomach i've actually thought that before like that did they like put together cities with this stuff when they were starting out because it's so if it like for a day, it's hard to get off the counter. Right. Yeah.

Well, you remember when you were a kid, you'd make paste? Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah. Basically flour and water and you'd make like a paste. I just posted videos on how to bake the bread. Oh. Because everyone's constantly asking for it.

So I put a new series on YouTube called Getting Baked with Tom. And it's just me in my kitchen showing you how to make bread. And I realized when I was making it, like, this is a long process. I have four videos getting through one loaf of bread over multiple days. Are you still doing the TV show? You were doing a TV show for a while. Yeah, and we're not. That was called Baked on the Food Network.

How'd that go? It went great. People really liked it, but we're not making any more. I don't know why. So then I was like, well, why do I need the Food Network? I can just keep making it and put it on YouTube. It's so much better to put it on YouTube because people can access it anytime they want. Right.

This archaic system of waiting for Tuesday night at 8 o'clock for a show. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. That's what suddenly occurred to me. Like, wait, I've got cameras. There you look at you. I've got friends. You fucking cutie pie.

Look at you. Yeah. Have you varied your process at all since you first started doing this? Have you added yeah yeah yeah well you get better at it it's just you know it's a it's a skill it's a thing you start to it sounds corny but you become one with it like i know the weights of things just by holding it and i know the timing of things and i know the temperature what that's going to do and it just it's just very immersive.

So, yeah, I started branching out. And then I also started making bagels and pretzels and stuff like that. Bagels? Now, don't you have to boil bagels? You do. Yeah. So I just take a Dutch oven just with water in it and boil it up and baking soda and let that kind of bubble up. But you use a different kind of flour for the bagels?

No, same flour. Really? Same flour. Sourdough flour? Yeah. Sourdough bagels? Yeah, that's the key. Like, there's so many bad bagels in LA.

And, you know, people always talk, oh, it's the water, it's this and that. And, you know, I met this Vito's Pizza guy from Jersey here in L.A. that makes great pizza. And I'm like, so what is it, the water with the dough? He's like, it's just knowing what you're doing. And I keep running into these bad bagels. And I realized the flavor that's coming out of the bagels I'm making is because of the sourdough starter. It has this different flavor. It's a deeper flavor.

It's not just to use that as the yeast. It's to actually make it taste better. Is it true that the water is different on the East Coast and that is it a more mineral-rich water? That's what everybody says. Wouldn't that just be pretty easy to add those elements to water from the West Coast? You would think.

And some people say that they import the water. Maybe that's why people are less flavorful over here. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're not filled with all that. I mean, flavorful like Joey Diaz, like mad flavor. Yeah, yeah. Right. He's got flavor.

You know what I'm saying? He's got charisma. Yeah. The thing. You don't get a lot of that out here. No, you don't it's yeah it's different it's different it's a chill well even the people that do have flavor out here it's like they take their flavor goes up to seven right if you come from you're right you come from jersey and yeah

you got rusty pipes you got rats swimming in it all generations of stuff in there there's yeah that's gonna add to it for sure. Yeah. There's something. The water does taste different, though. It does. Yeah. Like my manager, Jeff, he loves New York City tap water.

He's always like stolen the virtues of New York City tap water. I'm like, bro, you're crazy. I'm not drinking that. Just any day now, 100 people could die from that shit. I know. Everybody's so proud about it though and i am too when we go back with my family like around christmas we were just there and uh i'm like you just drink from the tap and my kids took a sip of it and she's like it tastes like carrots

and she was right she was really right it tastes like carrots yeah that kind of like iron carrot-y yeah there's stuff in there you're not supposed to drink probably a lot of stuff but or maybe you are supposed to drink it right well yeah maybe maybe minerals less anemic maybe if minerals taste bad but they're good for you right yeah like hard water when you get hard water isn't that minerals that's minerals. Right. Right. And it's great to shower. You ever showered in soft water and the soap just never comes off?

That's true. After hours of sitting. Why is that? I don't know. But in my parents' townhouse, you take a shower, you're going to have soap on you the rest of the day. So did they have a filtration system? Is that what it is? I don't know. Yeah, I guess so.

It must be. Right. It must be. Right. It must be something that takes the minerals out. So when you get like that residue on your shower head, that white residue, that's hard water, right? That's sperm. Huh? What?

Fun fact. Oh, no. I am so busted. You're perfectly. That's one thing I've done maybe like three times my whole life is jerk off in the shower. Three times? Yeah, it's like never been my thing. I think I've probably done it just to say, well, there's some place I've never jerked off.

I can't go through the world with a place that hasn't been violated. I've never jerked off in the tub. I'll tell you that. Never. It's just too hot in there. It's just too confusing and frustrating. Well, you've got to let the water down a little. Then you're just like, then you're being a weirdo.

It's like those guys who lay in bed to masturbate. They bring a box of tissues and a towel. They set up. Get the fuck out of here. They're going on a date. You're a pervert. What's wrong with you? Right, exactly.

Jerking off is supposed to be a maintenance thing. That's right. You just need it. Yeah. Like, let me just take care of this so I'm not obsessed. Right. Let me get a cup of coffee. Let me do that.

Get to the goddamn office. Yeah, Jesus Christ. People that don't masturbate at all, that's got to occupy too much real estate in your head. There's no doubt about it, right? Well, I don't know. You could argue that the people that do it all the time, there's no doubt about it right well i don't know you could argue that the people that do it all the time although there's a lot of real estate well it becomes i think porn in particular is a real issue for people it does become an obsession yes indeed i remember a buddy of mine was like really into it in the early internet and he started looking at the world through a porn lens

it was every but every girl was oh no to be approached like somebody in a yeah it messed with his head oh that's not good anything you watch for that amount of time right it's going to affect you i've often thought that about violence because i've seen so many people get beat up like i'm so comfortable with people getting beat up right like fights like if i see a fight somewhere like a fight breaks out yeah my heart rate doesn't jack up it doesn't it doesn't go oh my god this is crazy i can't believe they're fighting right it's like look at that bad technique dropping his hands look at this dude oh my god his left leg's off the ground there's no what he's doing this is out in the world like it's just seeing two guys go at it two guys go at it i'm

like look at this terrible technique and i'm running to the car coming a mile away this is crazy i see society becoming unhinged yeah i'd see out of here it becomes normal i think yeah no violence becomes normalized like you know i've been uh reading a lot about native american cultures lately i've gone through like five books on the wild west over the last few months and one of the more disturbing and shocking things is the torture is uh native americans would torture their victims like oh yeah particularly the comanches the command those were the badasses right they were the badasses. Yeah. They were the reason. Until they developed a repeating, a multiple shot revolver that carried a chamber that had more than one bullet, they were running shit because everybody else had muskets and

they could shoot multiple arrows. You know, they could, they would, there's a, have you ever heard of, there's a guy named Lars Anderson. Do you know who he is? Yeah, I've heard of him. He's a famous, YouTube famous archery expert. And he, going through old texts and old artistic depictions, realized that the idea of a back quiver where you would reach back to grab an arrow and then put it on the string and then pull it back and shoot the arrow is not accurate. That what they actually would do is put the arrows in between their fingers and they developed a technique where they would draw and pull

and draw and pull and draw and pull. Just release one at a time. Yes, and they would go from finger to finger. So they literally could shoot an arrow a second. Wow. And so this guy, he actually shows how he can do it, not just in theory. See how they're holding, in some of the depictions,

you see that they're holding multiple arrows in their hands instead of in a quiver. And so he figured out how to do it where he can shoot multiple arrows in a second. And see if you can get to him. So, like, see, he's doing that. That's him pulling arrows out. And this is what the Comanche did? Yes. And the Comanches were able to do that.

And when they were able to do that, they were able to shoot the American settlers and the U.S. Army soldiers multiple times before they could get off another bullet because they had to pack a chamber. See how he's shooting all those arrows? Oh, yeah. Look at that. Because he keeps all the arrows in his fingers. Wow.

So he tucks them in his finger and then he just grabs it with the other hand draws it back so they were actually winning the war for exactly for hundreds of years hundreds for hundreds of years and it was so crazy what they would do is the u.s government would give people allotments of land saying hey oklahoma's a beautiful place why don't you guys move there and you can get a thousand acres of land. Like, whoa, golly, I'm going to take my family and move to Oklahoma. And what they were basically using them was cannon fodder for the Comanches. So they would send these people in.

They would just get slaughtered. Why would they? Because they wanted to try to figure out how to settle this land. Right. And they wanted these people to kind of fight the battles with the Comanches. And then the soldiers eventually would move in and then they would set up forts. So they were just put out as bait? Yes.

They were put out. I mean, it's horrific. Whether it's conscious or unconscious or whether it was semi-aware or maybe these people could fix it. Yeah. But they definitely did get slaughtered. What part of the country were the Comanches? Oklahoma, Texas, a lot of sections of the West.

Okay. They ran things. Yeah yeah and they were thousands yeah there was they were incredibly nomadic they rode horses they were fantastic with horses um they they had the most horses which is one of the reasons why they're the most powerful tribe and they all they ate was meat they would eat buffalo but mostly and you know occasionally berries and stuff like that but mostly their diet consisted of buffalo so they would follow the buffalo and then kill all the other native americans they encountered oh really kill all the settlers they encountered oh they were ruthless geez yeah so the other native torture the torture is insane cutting people's arms and legs off and throwing them on a fire while they're still alive. Shit like that. Jeez.

So they enjoyed it. Yeah. I mean, this book that I read, Empire of the Summer Moon, is all about the Comanches. This guy S.G. Gwynn was in here and he kind of explained how he found out about it when he moved to Texas. And he moved to Texas and started delving into the history of the Comanches and the war that the Texas Rangers. The Texas Rangers, the original Texas Rangers, were created to combat the Comanches and the war that the Texas Rangers, the Texas Rangers, the original Texas Rangers were created to combat the Comanches. They were these super badass soldiers that dressed like Indians. And they realized they had to learn how to fight on horses because the Comanches actually shot arrows on horses, whereas the original US soldiers would get off the horse to shoot

a shot. Right. And it just was ineffective. Right. And the Comanches would run up on them and fill them up with arrows. And kill everybody. Fill them up with arrows. It was crazy.

They would kidnap all these white settlers and take their babies and kill their babies. Right. Take their children, incorporate their children into the tribes, rape the women, torture and kill the men. Wow. But they were nomadic. They didn't. Yeah.

So they didn't settle, create little towns. Only tents. They were just always moving around. tents and they followed the buffalo oh yeah so just like seasons they would stay in an area for a little bit they would just follow the buffalo wherever the buffalo were that's where they would go jeez yeah but the the thing about it is it's to me so strange that cultures can become comfortable with extreme violence like very comfortable yeah right well anything that yeah you're just exposed to all the time you know we're a pretty violent society right we see a lot of violent images all the time we see it but in terms of like day-to-day violence no compared to just a couple of hundred years ago it's a pretty radical drop-off yeah you'd have to

choose to digest it now yeah you have to choose but a lot of people do choose yeah but also you can put yourself in a little bubble and feel like it doesn't really exist or you can get into a murder bubble just like some people get into a porn bubble right you could just get into like watching people get slaughtered all day long right exactly plenty of videos yeah yeah i'm gonna watch other things yeah bread my netflix special oh that's that comes out tonight right at midnight is that what it is uh last midnight oh last night so it's out right now it's out oh my jesus it's done it's out are you happy with it i am happy with it how many years did you work on it two and a half that's a good number yeah close to three yeah that's a good number yeah that seems like to polish an act get it tight tour with a little bit and then almost

get to the point where you're done with it yeah almost sick of it yeah where something started that's how i can tell when jokes start to peel off because you're not uh you're done with them yeah and then out of the ones do you ever you ever have when you get close to taping all of a sudden something new pops in and makes the lineup oh yeah last minute oh of course you know what i mean of course yeah other stuff you've been working on i'm really trying to perfect it for a couple of years and then all of a sudden something shows up like the last week that's a killer yeah i think it's just you're in that space yeah Yeah. And, yeah, I shot it in Newark. Newark?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Why Newark? I'm from Jersey. I'm a Jersey guy. I was born in Newark. Yeah.

And I just feel like I just have a real affection for all those great New Jersey cities that have been just destroyed by corruption. Passaic, Patterson, Trenton, Newark, all these great places that were so thriving. Was that what destroyed them? Yeah. Corruption? Yeah. Political corruption. There's a ton of money in New Jersey.

There's a ton of money. People getting taxed like crazy. And then these politicians multiple times going to jail for abusing the system and getting busted and bribery. And it's just awful just really and it just became real violent places and people started moving out and i really think it's going to come back they're just too great it's like asbury park at the jersey shore i used to drive through there and it was just bombed out but these great big victorian homes right on the beach it's like

how's this place not just kicking ass and And the only way that it ever works, the gay community comes in and says, well, this is nice, and we're going to fix it. Is it the gay community that builds it up? Yeah, they saved – Asbury Park? Asbury Park, absolutely. That's awesome. So I think it's going to come back. So I just wanted to, in a little way, just shine a little light on Newark.

So Asbury Park is basically a gay neighborhood now? I don't know if it's a gay neighborhood, but it's a good, healthy gay population. And so they buy these Victorians that are on the beach, and are they valuable now? Yeah. Yeah, the real estate's really come up there. Only makes sense, right? There's only so much beachfront property. Exactly.

I mean, look at Malibu. It's preposterous. I've looked at houses in Malibu that are on the beach. Oh, my God. It's hilarious. Yeah. Like've looked at houses in Malibu that are on the beach. Oh, my God. It's hilarious. Yeah. Like, it doesn't make sense money. Millions and millions of dollars for a house that looks like it cost $150,000.

I know. Exactly. Yeah. That in North Carolina probably would. Yeah. Right? And should. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's crazy. But it's limited. There's not that much, especially in that area. You know, the Jersey Shore, the whole coast. It's like Manhattan. It's the same thing. Yeah.

But I do feel like there's – I mean, you look back and you read all these books from – like Philip Roth and stuff. He was from Newark. And it was just this thriving place with industry and people living their lives. And then it became this real darkness and uh it feels like uh i'm hopeful that it the population will succeed in tearing them over hmm um so what was the theater that you went to the performing arts center uh the victoria theater and it's like this performing arts theater there it's beautiful great space it's this little downtown it's where um uh the devils are playing and uh

the nets before they moved and uh it's like this one square block i mean you get on a train you're in manhattan in 10 minutes right so it's this great theater i did two shows there i'd perform there before is north i've got a lot of fans in Jersey. Yeah, slowly, you know, parts of it, you know, it's tough, you know, two steps forward and two steps back. We've done some UFC fights there. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, right, because you couldn't do New York, right? Yes, for a long time. Right. So we used to do it in Newark. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's beautiful downtown area, really great, beautiful Whole Foods and Nike. Really?

Yeah, beautiful. Newark? Yeah, beautiful. And then, you know, you get to the outer, you go a couple more blocks, it's a different story. When I first moved to New York, I stayed with my grandfather in Newark. Oh, yeah? My grandfather bought a house in Newark in like the early, I guess it was probably the 40s. He bought a house there and stayed there until he died. Oh, really? North 9th Street. in Newark in the early, I guess it was probably the 40s. He bought a house there and stayed there until he died.

Oh, really? North 9th Street. And it was originally an Italian neighborhood, and then it slowly became a bunch of different kinds of neighborhoods. They did a thing called blockbusting. You know what that is? No. Where real estate agents would come in and say, hey, black people are moving into this neighborhood.

You've got to sell now or your real estate value is going to drop what yeah and my grandfather was like fuck you i like black people get out of here he stayed there forever why would i move he wouldn't move man but the neighborhood changed from an all italian neighborhood to a black neighborhood and then uh and then it eventually became a bunch of different immigrants right and then when i stayed there and um this was probably 88 91 90 91 92 that's when i i lived there it was bad man yeah next door neighbor got his uh house uh broken into by the cops they battering rammed his front door because he was selling crack oh my god yeah my grandfather knew that kid from the time he was little ah terrible you know he's watching this kid grow up to become a drug dealer god he had like a nice audi that he kept parked

in the driveway right behind a gate geez yeah he's spending all that crack money crack money my sister runs this uh non-profit i think i've talked to you about it called city green out of clifton and they um create all of these city gardens and take over farmlands, like in Passaic and Patterson. And it just really, you bring these young kids in. She has like these learning gardens and these school programs where these kids from Patterson and Passaic come in.

And they're just like these young little kids that don't understand like where vegetables come from. Their parents, their families are blown apart and they're just like they're as thirsty as the vegetables they are they just want love and learning and want to be useful and they just it's so inspiring to see and if you if you can get kids at that age like six, seven, if you can get them there, that's going to change everything. If you can come in and help these kids out and give them a lifeline, that seems like where most of the change can happen. Yeah, if you can catch them when they're young and give them a positive direction to go into. to go into that's one of the things that i talked about a bunch of times in the podcast like we spend so much money overseas to try to replace dictators and get rid of fucked up governments

but we spend so little time going into inner cities and trying to give young kids a chance i know give them opportunities create community centers do something where you give them an alternative to drugs and crime and gangs and and all the shit that plagues those areas. That's where I really believe. And I've talked to other people that are really into philanthropy, and they all seem to think that that's the way to do it. Get them when they're young. Get them when they're young. But what the program is is difficult, and you've got to try and get the parents involved with it and all that.

But if you can do that, there's – I mean, they're so inspiring when you see these kids then move up to high school and they're just, you know, I grew up with kids that were, you know, okay and so lazy in comparison to these kids. They just suck everything in and want to do well and they're inspiring. These kids will just kick ass, do whatever they have to do to learn, do whatever they have to do to get into college. They're just really some of the best people you could possibly make. Because they're thankful that they had that opportunity and they understand that they could have gone a bad way.

Right. Like a lot of people that they grew up with. Yeah, and they see in their neighborhoods there's trouble. This isn't guaranteed that things are going to go right for me. Right? It's amazing that there hasn't been more time and effort invested by the government

to try to clean up these terrible neighborhoods. It's just not immediately profitable, and I guess every politician has four years in office. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's really, I know. politician has four years in office yeah it's really i know it's like i i did a uh i did a fundraiser in newark this is where i got the idea to do the special there i did a fundraiser it wasn't a fundraiser it was um like a awards dinner kind of thing for this prominent lawyer and all these politicians were there and they all seem you know, people with good intentions and whatever.

And then you walk out into the city and on the way to the airport, and it's like, man, this is some of these areas. It's like how this is – those people were nice, but it will take thousands of those people to really all work on that problem. Like I don't know how you do it. And, you know, when I travel around touring touring and i'm sure you see it too in every city all of a sudden there's these tent cities just popping up of homeless people that wasn't around when i started touring like in the middle of new orleans in the middle of every city san francisco uh the upper midwest you know there's

just all of a sudden these camps of homeless people. Yeah. That did not exist before. No, Los Angeles is staggering. I mean, there's basically a small city inside the city. Yeah. Right now they're bordering on 70,000 people. 70,000.

70,000 people live on the streets in Los Angeles. Just in L.A. Just in L.A. And because L.A. never really gets cold, it only rains 10 times a times a year it's really not that hard if you have a tent yeah you can live outside yeah and they do i mean they do full-on tents and they string them all together and they create little villages yeah there's uh the underpasses like all throughout la now are filled with tents yeah yeah no it's incredible how much of it is how much of it i have no idea but how much of it is mental illness and how much of it is just economic

um i'm sure it's all the above yeah it's a bunch of different factors but you think it's mostly if you your instinct well mental illness for sure was what started out the wave of homeless people during the reagan administration because they changed the criteria for people being able to you know be confined to a mental health institute they they released a bunch of people they changed what what constituted you being mentally ill whereas before there were asylums people could get help and counseling and maybe even get out um but now they just kick those people out or then they could just kick those people out right and i remember it because uh how old are you i'm 50 yeah i'm a little older than you i'm 52 so when i was uh really 52 when i was uh i guess i was like in high school or right after high school and

reagan was in office all that shit was going down and people were freaking out because all of a sudden there was homeless people wandering around the street. Right. And that didn't exist before, and people were really angry. They were like, these are mentally ill people. Yeah. And now they're just wandering. And, you know, I lived in Boston.

It was fucking really cold. Yeah. To see people wandering around Boston. There's definitely always a large portion of people that truly, truly need help. Yeah. Right? It's not just that, you know, they're're lazy or don't just go get a job like there's major issues and there needs to be some kind of a

safety net to help these people and you could just see it i mean it's so weird to be it's it's popping up in la in areas that it never was before yeah Yeah. And even what is lazy, right? Like how many people that are that lazy that they're homeless? How many people are mentally ill? There's got to be a lot of them. A lot. A lot. Mental illness is a weird thing, right? Because it's got such a stigma attached to it. But I think what is wellness, right? What's mental wellness? Maintaining a beautiful state of mind, a peaceful, relaxed, calm, thankful, filled with gratitude, loved, happy. That's healthy, right? Everyone experiences some mental illness, just like everyone experiences some physical illness.

But it's a matter of whether or not it becomes chronic, prolonged, and what it does to you and the people around you. And some people have it way worse, just like some people have way worse physical health, right? Yeah. Some people have way worse mental health and some people it deteriorates. And sometimes you could be like on the right track and some stuff happens to you and within six months you're in trouble. You know what I mean?

It's a tricky situation yeah to kind of maintain we're a lot more fragile than we like to pretend we are yeah it's one of the beautiful things about being a comic is that we have a real community uh-huh you know i mean we have a really beautiful supportive community of like-minded weirdos it's it's really true it really is true i know like is there a place that other people get to go to that we get to go to like the store where everybody's hugging everybody everybody sees everybody i know so friendly i was thinking about that i was i was i was leaving and everybody every time you leave a club whether it's the store or the cellar in new york uh everyone's

always asking are you gonna be here tomorrow you're gonna be around where are you going are you gonna be like everyone cares about they want, are you going to be here tomorrow? Are you going to be around? Where are you going? Everyone cares about, they want to see you again, and they want to know if you're coming back. And I was like, that's such a wonderful thing. This isn't an office. This isn't people that are being made to see you every day. But if you're leaving the store and we say goodnight,

it's like, are you going to be here tomorrow? You know what I mean? It's like, are you coming back to the playhouse yeah people are looking forward to yeah we're real lucky in that regard because i don't think musicians have a spot like that where they get to go to they feel isolated if they're not with their band or their family you know they're isolated yeah and it's and it's interesting because the la it's the store's revival i think has given it a sense of place. Because coming from New York, I felt when I was out here like, oh, comedians just roll into the Laugh Factory and then they get in their car and they're gone.

There's no hangout. Yeah, there's nothing there. And the improv had it for a while. Then they messed with the bar and they moved it to the other side. They ruined it. That was such a great place. They ruined it. I know.

And it hasn't got its mojo back how do you get a mojo back i don't know have you ever seen that photo of the improv where it's jay leno he's got a pipe yeah he's hanging out in the bar and everyone's in the bar the bar is packed with people i know and it's this weird sort of photograph of you know capturing time yeah and that was what it was like when I first started coming here. There was basically two schools. There was the improv school, and then there was the comedy store school. Right.

And then there was the laugh factory, just like the stepchild. Right. It was weird. Yeah, it's always a little weird. Because Jamie used to work at the comedy store. He was a dishwasher there, and he left to start his own comedy club. The industry people would go to the improv. It was all like the people that were angling to get on sitcoms and the people that were squeaky clean.

Right. And then the deranged weirdos were all hanging around at the store. Yeah, because it's comfortable there for them. But the new wave, the new revival of the store is very different. Totally different. Very different. But it still has that shadows of that. There's some derangement.

You know what I mean? There's still some derangement there. Yeah, it's in the walls. It's baked in the carpets. You can't get it out. You can't. You'd never be able to build a place like that. It would have to already exist.

Yes. Because if you try to build a place in 2020 and said, all right, we're going to build a place like that. It would have to already exist. Yes. Because if you try to build a place in 2020, you said, all right, we're going to build a new comedy store. We're going to put it over here in Silver Lake, and we're going to, this is this and that and that, and we're going to make it like the comedy store. It would feel like a hotel bar. It would go there, an Encino hotel bar.

Yeah, yeah, right. Why am I here? Why is it echoey? What's wrong here? It seems odd. There's no soul. Places have a soul. And that place has a lot of soul, a lot of dark souls, a lot of mixed up souls.

Yeah, that's a weird point of contention with scientists and with people that are open to more weird ideas. Yeah. people that are open to more weird ideas, that things have a feel to them, that things even have a memory to them. Oh, yeah. I believe that 100%. I do too, but if you talk to a brilliant scientist, they would dismiss that instantaneously. They think they're all brilliant,

but they're not open to everything. They're acting all smart with their little test scores and their lab coats, but walk into an old hotel in Italy and tell me that you don't feel something there, that history. I'm not saying it's all ghosts coming up and giving you belly rubs, but there's something to it. Why do you think that they have that dismissive need to be a reductionist, to reduce everything down to its core components and dismiss any soul. It gives you control, right?

It gives you an idea that this crazy madness is somehow manageable. I do it too in my life. I organize my desk and I get my thing and I get my schedule and okay, everything's okay. This isn't chaos. No, we're not all going to be – this isn't completely out of my control i'm controlling this at least my pens over there yeah and my books over here right i would think that that's what it is and if you can't if you can't justify it with facts and numbers then it doesn't exist well i don't know because certain places always seem to have a personality. And there's more going on.

Just because we haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean that that stuff doesn't exist. No, I agree. Even this room. Even this place. Like, you know, you moved here. Right? The old place was the thing. But this feels different now than when you first showed up.

It's got stuff. There's some memories. There's some memories. There's some things have happened. There's like, it feels comfortable here. Well, we got this desk too. This is the same desk from the beginning. This desk is soaked in with people's palm sweat and weirdness and good feelings and weird feelings. Yeah.

And it wouldn't have come from something that wasn't wood. Yeah. No, I agree. And this is also reclaimed farmhouse wood yeah yeah this is all from uh some russian farm this is all reclaimed oak all this shit is like 100 years old wow from where russia we decided to get this wood one of the things when i was building this i've said can we get wood that's old yeah and so we we figured out that there was ways that you could get like really old oak and so eric the guy who uh made all this got this really old russian oak and cut it all down and trimmed it and you know right everything's all you know it's like got cracks in it and it's it's expanded and

it has personality it's alive yeah it's alive if it's not alive i mean it's it's organic that's probably the best way to describe it yeah no that it has a difference and then you know if you want to go further and talk about the ghosts that show up it's definitely ghost too did i ever show you the picture of my ghost you have a picture of a ghost didn't i show you that i don't ever show you that jamie i don't think no you have a ghost i have a ghost where your house i apologize if i'm repeating myself i don't know if you are i don't remember the story but i'm i got one of those nest cameras oh the nest cameras captured a ghost those yeah and i was at the comedy works in denver and the ghost comes with you to denver he opens for me you know you want an opener that you can trust yeah and i

got an alert on my email the first time like if you if it senses movement it alerts you and i open it up and there's my dog bella just in in the thing. I'm like, this is so cool. I'm just like, I'm in Denver and I'm looking at my office. And I thought, wouldn't that be a cool beginning of a horror movie if you get an alert on your phone and back at home there's a guy just staring in the camera? Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a good premise for a movie. So then, as I'm saying that to my opening act,

who wasn't a ghost, I get another alert, and then this comes up. Oh, yeah, you can see it up there. Okay. Why do you have a picture of Chris D'Elia on your wall? He's obsessed with Chris D'Elia. We just found out. Look at that, bro. That Chris D'Elia on your wall? He's obsessed with Chris D'Elia. We just found out. Look at that, bro.

That's D'Elia. Chris, keep away from Tom. Something you might not know. I love D'Elia. But that's George Carlin. That's a man with a wrench. Yeah, or a man in a trench coat with an Uzi. This is 10 o'clock at night.

The only people home are my wife and my daughter. This is on the second floor. There is no shadow coming in the thing. It's a ghost. That's a legit ghost. You don't think that's a person? That's not a person. For sure. My wife is the only one in the house. Hmm.

And you think that's a gun in his hand? Could be a clipboard. Maybe he's just a really annoying surveyor from the dead. He's looking at the... Just like a few moments of your time Could be a clipboard. Maybe he's just a really annoying surveyor from the dead. He's looking at the... Just like a few moments of your time to fill out this report. Did you have video of it?

Was it moving or something? No, but I have a video of another thing in the same office that I could show you. This is weird. Yeah. It looks way different

in this picture when it's small than it does when it's large. Which is scarier. When it's large, it does when it's large. Which is scarier. When it's large, it looks more like a person. Can you make it even bigger, Jamie? Can you make his image larger?

I have a ghost in my house. And then we hear things. Yeah, see, it does seem, it seems like, you know, the light is behind him, right? Yeah. Like the outside right edge of it is sort of highlighted like there's a light behind them. Mm-hmm.

Doesn't look like a gun, though. It is weird. I mean, it could be a gun. And then I got this video. Could be a sawzall coming from Brad's

over here ready to saw some bread. He's got a big serrated big bread knife. He's got electric serrated chef's knife. Chop up some bread bro so have you ever had an experience that you could say you think is probably a ghost cause that

everybody in the house has had a little something is your house old it's not old but like poltergeist right it's over an ind burial ground. You never know. You never know. Look at this video in the same office from the nest. You got a video? Let me see what's going on. What am I looking at here? Did the thing move?

No. Can you press play again? Okay. Same camera. What's that? It's a bug, bro that it's a bug bro it's a bug 100 that's a bug how do you know that's a bug because it's a bug it's moving in front of the camera it flies around it's doing loop-de-loops dude that's a bug it's probably a moth oh my god you're a little fruitcake you're a crazy person that is not that's no bug you're a little fruitcake. You're a crazy person. That is not, that's no bug. You're a crazy person. Look how it's sailing.

Is that what they call, is a fruitcake, fruitcake is not, that's a gay person. That's a gay person. But you can call someone a fruitcake if they're nuts too, right? Isn't it? Yeah, nuttier than a fruitcake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look how that, look how that goes. That's no bug.

Get the fuck out of here. Look at that. That is 100% a bug. You're out of your mind. That's a bug. Do you want to of here. That is 100% a bug. You're out of your mind. That's a bug. Do you want to see, James? I would bet everything. Air drop it to me real quick.

All right, I'll air drop it to you. I would be all in that that's a bug. All right. That's not a ghost. It's Tinkerbell. That's what it is. Your house is invaded by fairies. But that ghost, I believe in ghosts really and yeah i do and then uh my wife yeah we've all had little things go on in the house like what kind of little things my wife thought

someone was standing right behind her she's doing the laundry thought it was my daughter and turned and there's nope there was oh that's a bug it's a fucking bug right thank you jamie let's watch this let's watch this everyone at home can laugh and how fucking crazy tom papa is here we go well if you first let's watch the bug oh look oh yeah a fucking bug a flat paper just piece of paper all bugs look like a fortune cookie dude it's a bug listen to me there was there's a thing that i got sucked into stop any bug that's a video artifact it's because it's a bug. Listen to me. There's a thing that I got sucked into. What bug? Stop it. Any bug. That's a bug. It's a video artifact.

It's because it's moving very fast in front of the screen. There's a precedent to this. You have a low-resolution camera that's in front of your desk. Yes. This is a security camera, low-resolution, doesn't take a lot of frames per second. The reason why it's so elongated is because it's passing by this camera, and the thing is taking multiple exposures while while it moves through there's a thing called um is that george carlin behind your

desk is that what it is yeah that's the dahlia that's the crystalia it moved to the other side it's george carlin is that who it actually is that's george carlin that's pretty cool you got that of your desk yeah um the there's a thing called roswell Rods. See how it looks all long like that? And Roswell Rods, there was this guy that me and Eddie Bravo, back in the smoke too much weed every day days, we were convinced that there were these things that were moving too fast for the human eye to see. And there's gelatinous jellyfish-like creatures that are shaped like a tube.

Where'd you get this idea? See how they look? See those things? Yeah. Yeah. Where'd you get the idea? You'd seen it? Well, I'd seen a video.

See that one, that black and white one where it showed right above your cursor, Jamie, to the right, right there. Click on that one. Yeah. That sort of iconic image of the Roswell rod had me convinced like oh my god there's these things in the sky and the only way you could capture them was with video cameras so they'd set these video cameras up and they would get these things on video and this guy made this documentary i think a couple of documentaries i think if you go to roswellrods.com

it's got a whole website dedicated to it yeah Yeah. It is nothing but a video artifact. There's a show called, one of those monster shows, fucking one of those history channel shows or discovery channel shows. Yeah. And they solved the mystery. They set up two cameras in front of this fireplace or in front of this campfire. Yeah. One of them, was it a campfire? No. I think it was actually it a campfire? No.

I think it was actually a lantern. Whatever it was. They set up these two cameras. One of them was standard resolution and the other one was HD. So one of them

captured multiple frames per second, like many, many, many frames per second. Very high resolution. And in that one, you clearly see bugs. Clearly.

You see a bug. You see a bug. A very easily defined bug in the other one yeah that's low resolution and it doesn't capture as many frames per second all those images are stretched out and it looks like tubes so in the exact same place at the exact same time with two cameras right next to each other you get two very different images one of them is all stretched out from the low resolution cameraolution camera like your security camera. The other one is high-resolution.

You can see it's clearly a bug. I guarantee you, one million percent, that is a fucking bug. All right. I'll buy that one. See if you can find that. I'm convinced. But that other one. You're a ghost lover, bro.

I am a ghost lover. I love all of it. I love being in a spooky old house, a nice old church, theaters. The Comedy Store belly room scares me sometimes. Yeah. I've taken people up there. I go, just stand here and tell me if you don't feel weird. In the belly room?

There's something about the belly room. When you go above those stairs, it's just like there's something about that room, especially when there's no show going on. It just feels like your body's telling you, get the fuck out of right let's get out of here so what is that you're a bitch you're in the stairs i'm a bitch me i'm a bitch i'm talking to myself the back one off the main room the dressing area whenever you're back there by yourself that's a weird feeling that's a sketchy spot yeah that's a really weird feeling is that where kinnison said he saw like a didn't he see like a quarter move in the air or something?

He ate a pound of cocaine that night. That guy snorted so much coke, who the fuck knows what he saw? Yeah, he's not a good scientist. Well, Carla Bow, who was Kennison's sidekick, had a great story about getting kicked out of the comedy store. And he told it on stage one night that he got kicked out, not of the comedy store excuse me kicked out of his home uh got in a fight with his wife you know get out fuck you you know i'm going to the goddamn comedy store yeah so he went to the comedy store just because i think he was working security at the store so he had keys yeah so he said i'm gonna sleep on this stage i'm gonna make it one day i want to be a big famous

comedian i'm gonna this is my fucking stage i'm gonna sleep here so day. I want to be a big famous comedian. I'm us. This is my fucking stage I want to sleep here. So he slept there in the dark main room in the dark and He hears something in the background And he hears like a door click click And he like picks his head up pitch black can't see shit Hello It's Carl Hey, I got kicked down my house. I'm sleeping here if anybody's here wondering. And then he hears chairs moving.

Clink, clink, clink, clink. And he's like, what the fuck is going on? Hello? And then something grabs him by the ankle and pulls him off the stage into the crowd, into where the seats are, crashing into the chairs. And then boom, the door shuts and boom, another door shuts and it's gone. And he's laying on the ground in the middle of the main room with a bunch of knocked over chairs, something had grabbed his ankle and pulled him off the stage.

Or he did a lot of coke with Kinnison. He was, right? He was another one. But it's a great story. That is a great story. He told it on stage one night at the store. I was like, holy shit, this is amazing. Yeah, that's a good question. I've never stage one night at the store holy shit yeah that's a

good question i've never asked the audience if they feel weird in there no i don't think they do they're drunk they're drunk and they're watching a show they're having a good time yeah they're having fun the uh basement feels weird you had such a funny i saw you uh like a week ago working stuff out on the main stage that whole thing about back of the hand oh yeah don't talk i won't i won't i won't i know working that but so that whole area was so funny oh thank you yeah it's uh it's the most rewarding feeling ever when you have a chunk and it's just like become something yeah over time you know because in the beginning it's like a miracle it's it's like a plant i know right in the beginning it's like a couple of leaves and a stick and it's like i hope this fucking becomes

a tree yeah exactly now it's like a tree yeah now it's got branches and you can hang from it yeah and like branches it goes off in these different places so fun it was fun to watch i can't imagine not doing that yeah you know it's the most fun thing to do. I know. But you get addicted to it, too. When you don't do it, you start feeling like a weirdo. Oh, yeah. Once you've done it a bunch, you know, that's it.

Yeah, you start getting, like, weird. You go on vacation for a week, and you're like, what do I do? I go to dinners now? Walk around Thailand. Do you guys have comedy out here? No comedy at all? Yeah. Weird.

You brought a bag to Jamie, too. Oh, yeah. I gave Jamie. I know. Jamie's going to come back tomorrow with a little belly. It's a beauty. It is a beauty. A little bread belly.

He doesn't have a toaster. You don't have a toaster? What are you, a savage? I just didn't get it. I threw my old one away. I was planning on getting a new one. I just never did. Just never did.

He's a bachelor. Good thing is you can get them anywhere. I know. It's not like they're hard to find. I don't need a lot of toast either, so it's not a big deal. Well, do they have them at Best Buy? There's a Best good thing is you can get them anywhere it's not like they're hard to find i don't need a lot of toast either so it's not a big deal well do they have them at best buy there's a best buy everywhere amazon will probably have it to your house before you get home right they deliver they have their own trucks now i know they've made me so snotty i'm like it won't be here today you know what's interesting it's like we have this attitude about business, right?

That like we – you know, it's nice when someone works hard and creates a business and becomes successful. Yeah. But it's not when they become too successful. Right. It's not when they are the business. Yeah. And then we think that's a monopoly. We've got to break that up. Yeah.

Enough already. I hear a lot of people saying that they should break up Amazon. Yeah. They're too big. It's too good. So you want to end up – so you want to wait five days for a book but the idea is you want other people to be able to open up bookstores yep i don't know i know i'm not an economic clearly i don't even know it's like i'm not

a rocket scientist i'm clearly not an economics expert. I know. But it's, yeah. I see the arguments, but I also see a little bit of hater in those arguments. Thanks for writing that quote for my book, by the way. My pleasure, my friend. That was really great. When is your book out? They can preorder it now, but it comes out in May. And you can preorder it where?

Amazon. That's crazy. Yeah. But then over in bookstores. We're talking about Amazon, and your book is coming out on Amazon. That is nuts. It's like they know. That's like a ghost. It's like they bookstores. We're talking about Amazon and your book is coming out on Amazon. That is nuts. It's like they know. That's like a ghost.

It's like they know. Hey, back to the comedy store thing. Yeah. Wasn't there a story that someone came in, a waitress came in, and all the chairs were stacked in a pile? Yeah, but I never talked to that waitress. Did you? No.

I don't even know if it was a waitress. I've talked to people that have had weird experiences. Yeah. But you never know man people are tired it's the end of the day there's a lot the power of suggestion but then there's also the reality that that used to be bugsy siegel's nightclub and the people were murdered there yeah bugsy siegel was a legit gangster and they killed people in that club in that club apparently they killed people in the basement yeah that club apparently they killed people in the basement yeah that's the word have you ever been in the basement oh yeah whether podcast podcast

yeah yeah yeah yeah that doesn't feel creepy a little bit weird it feels a little weird yeah i was weird when i did argus's show down there i was like he might be haunted what if he's got some good fucking material man argus argus is a hustler he's always writing it's no joke no joke at all i saw him kill the other night in the main room on a saturday night i was like he is fucking good man jokes written like that day that yes i know really current event jokes but tight good solid jokes he's no joke he i follow him a lot i end up going on after him a lot there and i'm just always amazed yeah i mean like not not like just from the headlines kind of this like like uh like a late night show this kind of worked isn't that funny no like funny good jokes

and you know he's a guy that never threw in the towel yeah that's the thing about argus i mean he writes all the time for periodicals he writes jokes for like newspapers and stuff like that and he runs i think something crazy like at least 10 miles a day what yeah he runs in hollywood he's out there on the streets or his gym he gets out there yeah we were hanging around the store one night and argus pulled in with fucking sweatpants on all sweaty and shit i go what are you doing well i'm just getting back from a run he was out there running i was like whoa yeah he's a he's the real deal i mean he's been at the store forever from the 70s from the 70s i mean he used to date mitzi he did you didn't know that? No. Yeah.

He was Mitzi's boyfriend. There he is. That's Argus Hamilton. Wow. Back when he was your son. Look at young Argus. Wow. That's Argus Papa.

Argus Papa. In a time machine. Yeah. I mean, he's been swinging at the store forever. Look at him there. The Tonight Show, 1981. I was in eighth store forever look at him there 1981 i was in eighth grade oh my god i was in ninth grade that's i was in high school that was my first year of high school he was already on the fucking tonight show i probably saw him on the tonight show you

know that was one of the things that inspired me to do stand-up is watching richard jenny on the tonight show uh jenny yeah watching watching comics do stand-up on the Tonight Show was one of my favorite things. When a stand-up would come on, I had a TV in my bedroom, a 12-inch TV, and we had rabbit ears. I'd get whatever was on regular network.

People don't even know what that is anymore. It's so crazy. Folks, there's a signal that's in the sky, and you can pick up the TV. If you put tinfoil on the end of it, you'll get an even better picture. It's even better reception. You had to fuck with the antenna, remember? You could stand there. I would stand there sometimes and hold it in a certain way.

And you know when it was really great? When it snowed. Right. When it snowed out, you got great service. Yeah, the ionization or something. It happens with cell phones, too, you know? Yeah. When it snows out, you get better cell. You have the ionization or something. It happens with cell phones too, you know. When it snows out, you get better cell phone reception. Yeah. Something going on with it.

I still use one from time to time because in LA, depending on where you are, there are a lot of free 4K HD stations that are going over just wherever you are. Through the air. And then I'm watching sporting events because that's the clearest it would be because it would be better than what you're getting streamed online.

When a helicopter would go over your house, the signal would break up. The waves. How did it affect your toaster? So the helicopter, the whip-a-boop-a-boop-a-boop would fuck with the air and it would mess up the signal? It's all waves, right? Wow. How weird, man. I remember we had this tiny little TV room at my grandparents' house,

and the men would sit in there on this tiny little couch, and I'd have to hold the antenna so they could watch the game. Well, I used to have a wrench to change the channel because the thing broke off. Remember there was a little piece of plastic? You would have to click, click, click to change the channels? And the thing broke off. So I'd get in there with a wrench and have to pop, pop until you changed the channel. We used to keep a wrench on top of the TV. Remember finding the UHF channels?

Yes. Like, this is crazy. Uncle Floyd. Benny Hill. Yeah, Benny Hill, Uncle Floyd. Oh, my God. Just crazy people. Uncleyd was the guy in new jersey yeah most people don't know who he is i worked with him you did i did stand up with him yeah he's still out there i think now is he really yeah my cousins i think saw him in some place in wayne new jersey or something dude i did a bob gonzo gig with uncle floyd on the shore in jersey me and

he was the wow there he is look at him very nice guy bow tie plaid jacket me and otto and george oh yeah that makes perfect sense yeah and uh look at he's a handsome man i fucking bombed you did went on after him ate shit after uncle floyd yeah they didn't want to see me at all would he they're into him would he do songs or would he just do stand up i don't remember i don't remember i believe he brought puppets and he had a show on uhf that just ran forever forever in new jersey yeah uncle floyd show monday through fr 6.30 p.m. And he just kept going. Cable Television Network of New Jersey. It's like public access.

Look at him. Wow. Yeah, it was like public access. Yeah. Do you remember public access? You used to be able to do your own show. You could go down to the public access station. Yeah.

I did it. There was a guy named Larry Rapucci. Me and I think Todder were the ones we did like when we were both all three of us were open micers we did a show on cable access tv in boston we went it was your own show well we just did a show i think we did one episode and i was wearing a dress i forget it was like a game show like, like a dating show type of deal. Yeah, it's great. We created it ourselves.

I'm sure it was terrible. Yeah, but you were doing it. That's what's so great. Yeah. And then one of my friends said, did I see you on TV wearing a dress? I was like, probably. It's so great. All these maniacs.

That's the only people that would do it. Uncle Floyd, right? And there was the porn one in New York. There was a porn one? Cable access? Yeah, kind of porny. She was famous. She was like legendary in New York.

Oh, I know who you're talking about. Well, Howard Stern had a cable access show, didn't he? No, he had close. He had WOR. That's right. Which is like Channel 9 in New York in the day. He had a weird gig. Weird, like small show.

Back when Howard Stern was, he was still huge. But he wasn't huge like he became. Yeah, but he was popular. Yeah. He was big at the time. He was big, but I'm trying to compare him to somebody. I think it was before Private Parts. It was like during Fart Man, during that whole era.

It was before then even, I think. Jackie the Joke Man. This is the girl, the porn girl? Yeah, that's her. Robin Bird. Robin Bird, of course, of course. That's right. Yeah, and she would do, it wasn't like, you know, you couldn't go complete porn, but look,

she'd have, yeah, she would. Well, that's SNL making fun of it. Oh, that's an SNL sketch making fun of Robin Bird. But she would have like a lot of drag queens on and just talk about sex. Wholesomely pornographic Robin Robin Bird, sued Time Warner. Okay. And she had a cool voice, and she was just a mainstay. Well, do you remember when there was a talk radio channel in L.A.?

Like, Tom Likas was on it, and there was two girls that would talk about sex all the time. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I forget. One of them, I think, was in Playboy. Right. And they had Tim Conway Jr., Conway and Steckler. Uh-huh.

Remember? I don't remember this, no. Yeah, man. There was a channel, an all-talk radio channel. And this was in the 90s, I remember, because I would listen to it when I was on the way to news radio. I would listen to the radio when I was on the way to news radio. I would listen to the radio when I was on the way to do the set. Right.

To the set. Yeah, yeah. Like in the morning? Yeah. And in the afternoon when I was coming home. Oh, that's where you guys were? Sunset Gower? Sunset Gower, yeah.

I think we were at CBS Radford originally, maybe for a little bit. Right. I did Hardball at CBS Radford and then Sunset and Gower. Right. I remember looking at all those other shows, like real shows. Like, God. Yeah. I wish I was on Friends.

I know. Everybody has envy. It's funny. You're on a network show and thinking, oh, if only I could be over there. And to this day, it's one of my fondest memories. But there was a time, I remember, we were all sitting around the set and uh we we kept getting moved we got moved no less than nine times over the course of five years nine times yeah we just kept getting we see the thing is with shows back then in particular yeah it it all is about who owns the show okay if nbc owns the show and you know then you're golden they're gonna put you

in the great spot and and hook you up yeah on their network yeah they're gonna put you like right after friends or right after seinfeld yes the sweet yeah that was the thursday night was the sweet spot baby they used to call the hammock spot right between friends and seinfeld well yeah yeah some people would call it that and And it was, we were all sitting around the set and one of the guys from the, you know, someone brought in the ratings. Yeah. I'm like, fuck. And then everyone's complaining and this and that.

And everyone was so down. And I was like, hey, last time I checked, we're on fucking TV. Like, I know, I know know we're number 80th. My friend Lou Morton, he was one of the writers, he would come in every day with a shirt with Sharpie, the number that we were on, and one day he came in and said 88.

I was like, really? Really? Fuck. News radio was 88? Oh my god. We didn't do well until we got cancelled. News radio did great in reruns that's when people got a chance to see how funny it was oh that's so weird yeah yeah that's so weird it's weird how many times that happens too like arrested development and yeah well a lot of those shows it's all about where it is yeah i know i know it's all about where they put it. Yeah. So wait, so it was on that all talk radio, was that the guy who would, what was his name,

who would, he would do all the voices, he would do all the characters? No, he was on it too though. That radio show? Phil Hendry. Phil Hendry. Phil Hendry. The great Phil Hendry. He would, and he still does it.

If you never heard Phil Hendry, he's a goddamn genius. Yeah. Phil Hendry would answer the phone and then he would be the caller. So he would call up with these ridiculous, he would say ridiculous shit. Yeah. Where you're like, how can this guy be real? And people would get so angry. Yeah.

And then other people would call in like, that man is so ignorant. And then he would say, no, man, you're ignorant. I am standing here in front of the Journal of American Medicine. And he would just go on these. And most people were in on the gag. Yeah, right. I wouldn't even say most people. Maybe like 60% of the people were in on the gag.

It was great. It's so good. I remember being parked in front of my house, like listening to it, like, what the fuck? What's he doing? I know. He was amazing. I think he's still around yeah i think he is i think you're right what does he do these days does he have a radio show he's probably

working he's probably working with uncle floyd the phil henry show the phil henry show is it on the radio um the youtubes official hq for saturday today's show spot itunes i feel about when i hear about okay well that's good because i when i hear people that are still doing radio for today's show? It's about iTunes. I feel about... When I hear about... Okay, that's good. When I hear people that are still doing radio, I'm like, oof.

Do you have any other options? Is there other ways? Can you get out? I'm on SiriusXM right now. That's different. That's different. Oh, you mean like satellite radio?

You mean terrestrial? Yeah, like radio. Like over the air radio. Yeah, I know. But you know what? There is something like i've been i was in a couple towns columbus ohio uh denver even where they have a strong terrestrial radio thing station that's popular austin does austin still does lean bob it's such

a cool thing and we've kind of lost something like because they're talking about the show that's coming to our town. It creates a sense of community that you don't have in other things. Right, and it's live. Yeah. It's happening over the air. Tools coming in this weekend. We'll be there.

You'll be there. But it's also censored. That's a real issue. Yeah, for sure. It's not perfect. I mean, look, one thing that we all owe Howard Stern a huge debt of gratitude is that he was sued by the fcc yeah i mean like legit yeah yeah he was sued he lost a shitload of money the the media company was a company that had his show uh whatever the company was. They were fined hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Right. For him, like, for almost nothing. This was during the Bush administration. They were going after him. Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember it. Dude, they went after him. They went after him hard to the point where it was scary.

Yeah. Where, like, you would hear about it, and you're like, what? Yeah. What? And you would hear about the things that he got fined. See if you can find the things that Howard Stern got fined. The top five things he got fined for. Yeah, let's pull that up.

Oh, really? Because listen, man. Whatever anybody wants to say about Howard Stern, that motherfucker opened the door for all of us. All of us. For me, 100%. Yeah. Okay, let me see. The first thing is the fart man stunt.

Wait, he got fined for that on television? Fine for fart man. That was on television. Because he showed his ass? Well, he got fined for that on television? That was on television. Because he showed his ass? Okay.

It's not really a surprise that he exposed his butt cheeks in a $10,000 gold spandex superhero costume, blah, blah, blah. Where does it say he got fined? Number two. Where does it say he got fined for that? I guess it's just his outrageous offenses, I guess. Oh, outrageous offenses. Sorry. Hold on. Aunt Jemima joke, I guess. Oh, outrageous offenses. Yeah. Sorry, hold on. He was... Aunt Jemima joke, I saw.

Yeah. Well, there was a lot of stuff that he said, you know, that you would look at it today, like in terms of like a podcast, you'd say, oh, that's not even outrageous. So here's the things that he got fined for. Let's make that... Look at the fucking numbers, man. August 12th, 1993, $500,000. Infinity Broadcast Network got fined. That's, $500,000. Infinity Broadcast Network got fined.

$600,000. $600,000 and $500,000. $600,000 December 18th, 1992. And then August 12th, 1993, $500,000. So within a year, six months' time even. Look, 90 to 2004. But look at that. In one year's time, six months' time, they got fired $1,100, even. Look, 90 to 2004. But look at that. In one year's time, six months time, they get fired $1,100,000.

Jeez Louise. Fucking insane, man. Wow. I wonder what the offenses were. It's fucking crazy. Just language? Mostly language? I'm sure it's language or subject matter or potty humor.

Fuck, man. Crazy. I mean, we think about this today in terms of, like, what we get away with on podcasts. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Total freedom. Total freedom. And I think a lot of that was open.

That door was open because of Howard Stern. What does it say, that? It says, playing the piano with his penis. She recorded the Chris. Okay, let me read this WJK JFK FM

In Washington D.C. Became the third Infinity station To air the Howard Stern show In 1988 Two months later Ann Stalmel Of New Jersey

Mistakingly tuned her radio To hear Stern talk about having naked women in for an upcoming show she recorded the oh it's fucking snitch she recorded the christmas party broadcast in december 16th that featured a man playing the piano with his penis a choir singing about gay sex to the tune of white christmas and women being hypnotized to achieve orgasm. Under the referral of her senator, this fucking crazy lady called a senator and congressman, Stummel filed a complaint with transcripts and a tape of the program. The FCC reviewed the evidence and asked Infinity in October 1989 for an explanation,

and asked Infinity in October 1989 for an explanation, as the material, in quotes, may have violated federal law by including indecent programming during daytime hours. Isn't that funny? Like, at nighttime, it's okay to get naughty. Yeah. Karmazin argued that the term patently offensive in its new ruling was vague, and the sexual references cited were no more offensive than daytime television shows, Geraldo

and Donahue, which use similar terms without repercussions. Sure. His response was later rejected. Da-da-da-da-da. FCC. Yeah, so they started fining him back then in 88. I would imagine that for terrestrial radio, a lot of that still holds, right? I bet

you could get away with a lot more now yeah and because of him because of howard stern because of all the i mean look and he was under the gun man he stuck to his guns yeah he kept doing the same program i mean it's it's a vastly different program now but and people criticize him because of that but look he's a different person yeah you shouldn't have to do that old show he's he should do whatever he wants right that's who he is now right exactly you know but i work for uh npr do this live from here which was prairie home companion and i do this uh thing on that show and uh they're they have comedians on once in a while and they have musicians and they are really strict and once in a while, and they have musicians.

And they are really strict. When a comic is about to go out there, he's told 20 times what he can and can't say. And it's like really, really, really strict. And if you violate it, if you say the wrong thing, they get a fine for every station that it airs on throughout the network. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. So if they have 100 stationss on throughout the network. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. So if they have 100 stations, there's 100 fines. Yes, exactly. It's still really serious.

And that's 6 o'clock in the evening in the East Coast. It's so ridiculous. Look, I get it if you have a program and it's a rated PG program and this is the way you want it because it's for kids and it's for families and stuff like that. But for the government to step in, it's ridiculous. It really is ridiculous. And the fact that this was – that people had to endure this for so long. Right.

I mean, before Howard Stern, people have to realize there was no one. There was no one like that. There was Don Imus who was kind of controversial in some ways yeah he was and then stern who is just a totally different animal yeah yeah he opened the door for podcasts for sure yeah all these outrageous people doing podcasts he made the road map right yeah 100 well it showed you there was here's you can come over to this side of the street and no one's going to mess with you well and when they opened up the door like what you're on sirius satellite radio sirius satellite radio is also responsible for podcasts

because they showed that you could do things uncensored right they were the first place yeah first real outlet sirius xm like both of them together but xm and you know then they merged right so if you're subscribing to it that means that you're willing to participate you're paying for it you're not it's not like public terrestrial radio where if you just get in your car and it pops right so if you're listening to opie and anthony if you were listening to howard stern like you could hear wild shit right and then podcasts sort of came out of that right and like this podcast is directly because of opie and anthony 100 oh yeah yeah because they set it up the way their show was and you've done it yeah it's a hang yeah you would go in there and everybody

would hang out it was real loose very loose guys would come in hey tom pop is here what's up tom what are you doing i'm playing carolines and this now making bread yeah and everybody would have a good time and just no there was no structure to it yeah whereas stern had much more structure yeah a lot more bits and we're gonna go into this now and yeah that kind of thing and he was actually a classic radio yeah he was a you know he worked the board and shit you know he was he was moving the dials and stuff writers yeah he had people working for him it was it was he was moving the dials and stuff writers yeah he had people working for him it was it was he was more structured opie and anthony was more of a hang right yeah and then anthony started doing live from the compound he had this house right in long island and he was uh

with a fucking machine gun posing in front of a green screen singing karaoke and uh i remember thinking god damn i wish i did that in my house like i want like that setup right because he had a studio set up at his house i was like fuck i need one of those because he could just anytime he wanted just go live and start talking about things right and it would stream on and you know the internet was not that good back then yeah right yeah all this happened like starting yeah i think he was doing it like 2006 or something while he was still on the show yeah yeah and they were giving him a hard time about it right they were telling him you can't do that and he was like but it only gets more people to listen to the radio show right it's not going to take anything away from the radio show yeah yeah which i definitely agree with they got fired right when they went to time with that

church thing yeah yeah yeah with st patrick yeah. With St. Patrick's Cathedral? Yeah, Norton was just here. Yeah, he was? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's great. He's the last guest. Oh, yeah? I love him.

He's the best. He's the best. He's so quick. He's such a maniac. He's so funny. He's hilarious. Oh, God. Yeah, they got fired, and then he realized how quickly everything can go away because

he was like, fuck, I was out of money. And I think they were fired for like two years. Yeah. They couldn't be in the air in two years. That's right. And so then they went to Sirius. Right. And they got hired by Sirius.

And they had that thing where they would do both at the same time, right? They started with Sirius, but they were back on Terrestrial. And remember, they would do the walk. I did it with them. Yeah, you do the walk. You do the walk. We would broadcast with wireless microphones walking through New York City. Yeah.

Yeah, it was like a block and a half away. So you'd get out. They would strap you up with these wireless mics. Yeah. And then we were walking down the street talking. It was fucking great. It was on the air. It was great.

I really felt fortunate to be a part of that. I felt like I was a part of history. I know. It felt like that's where the action was for comed it felt like there was it was like it was that's where the action was for comedians too they made it such a home for comics 100 yeah and anybody and you look forward to like there was never a time where i didn't want to do it you know they were like i don't want to get up in the morning and do this it was like fuck yeah yeah because you never knew who was gonna be there patrice would be in there and colin and that was the

even when my shows were sold out, I still made it in there. I was like, I'm going in there, man. It was fun. Yeah. It felt like it was a clubhouse. Like, you felt like a part. And you also could be yourself. Yeah.

You know? It's like unabashedly be yourself. You know, Norton's in there talking about trannies and his experiences with Ladies of the Night and all this crazy shit and patrice was ragging on everybody louie would be there and burr would be there there's us yeah me and little jimmy yeah that's great back in the day oh there's tom segura that's right look at tom that's fat tom fat fat owl tom tom was heavy then boy and that was when we were 2005 it looks like

I said that you were talking about the Silva leg break oh okay so that was later than that yeah cause that wasn't that's not the XM studio

wasn't? isn't it? I don't know it seems like it is it's serious yeah it has that thing the glass wall behind is where Sirius was

yeah but that I felt I feel real real fortunate to be a part of that it was cool yeah it's a good time and anthony when he would latch into something it was as funny as any of the comedians oh he was genius he still is he's still hilarious yeah i haven't heard his new thing

very often well it's all the subscription you know he's decided to go to a complete subscription model so that no one could ever fuck with him anymore and pull him off of things. And he has a loyal fan base. It's Compound Media. He actually has a whole bunch of different shows that people can get from Compound Media. So you get a subscription and then you get his show and a bunch of other shows. Right. He would just get that glint in his eye when they got onto a subject and he was like a dog with a little toy and just knew he had something.

There's a real benefit in what he does in that the only people that are going to that are people that want to see his show and hear his show. So he can say the most outrageous shit and he's never going to get fired. Because if people subscribe or they unsubscribe, it's probably a wash. Right, right.

I'm sure he gains subscribers. Maybe he'll gain subscribers because we're talking about it. But it was that interesting thing where it was the combination of those guys. 100%. You know what I mean? Like they, over the years, had that rhythm. And Opie would lob it in. And then just to see it all break up at the end was really sad.

Fuck yeah, it's sad. They should come back. Yeah. I mean, I don't think Anthony wants to. it in and then just to see it all break up at the end was really sad fuck yeah it's sad they should come back yeah i mean i don't think anthony wants to yeah i don't think you would ever want to again no it got pretty uh yeah they got yeah they got they don't like each other anymore yeah and it's too bad i mean and then anthony on his show they would shit on opie no they would yeah it's like it got bad yeah it got ugly, and then Opie got fired. He was doing Opie and Jim. Was he doing Opie Radio?

Opie Radio. And then he got fired for filming someone in the bathroom. Someone was taking a shit and he filmed him. Yep. Radio pranks gone awry. Yeah, you can't do that. No, you can't. It turns out you can't publicly shame people when they're shitting but if but

if you came like if i was taking a shit and you open the door and you go hey jill i'd be hey you motherfucker shut the door i would never think you're gonna lose your job for that we would be laughing yeah exactly so it's like comes from an innocent place yeah it comes from a place that we would all do something like that sophomoric yeah you know it depends on who it is right like if you had a guy working for you and you were the boss and he was shy and you filmed him shitting then it would be totally yeah then it's like hey don't do that no there's a your inner circle of what you know it's going to be allowed but it was like me and i opened up the door when jimmy was taking a shit and i filmed

him you know he was screaming and laughing at me and it would be fun right it wouldn't you know we're equals trans trans girls just yeah spilling out of the jump it out of the stall drop ceiling oh hey joe yeah he's a little lizard man in there but there's there was a thing that you could get on that show where it was just it was so wild and loose. We had this, do you remember Stalker Patty? Yes. Stalker Patty, I had these pot breath strips, right? And if you took one of these breath strips, it would literally put you in another dimension. They were so goddamn strong.

I gave Segura one on a plane, and when it landed, he goes, I almost asked to be taken off the plane. I go, are you serious? He goes, yeah. I was like, I can't do this. Oh, no. I go really because i go i took it too he goes yeah yeah yeah he goes i wasn't ready for that i wasn't ready for that he goes before the plane took off it had already kicked in and i was on the runway and i was saying i gotta get off this plane i gotta get off this plane i can't do this i gotta get off this plane worst feeling in the world we were flying to florida right so we flew the worst feeling in the world. And we were flying to Florida. The worst feeling in the world. So anyway, stalker Patty was there, and we gave her a regular Listerine breast strip

and told her that it was a pot breast strip. And so she started having these psychosomatic hallucinations. She started believing she was hallucinating. Hilarious. So Ari stood in front of her with his balls out of his pants. He pulled his balls out of his pants and zipped up everything else so it'd just be a sack just sack out so they were in our was like uh do you are you hallucinating you see and she's like oh my god oh my god he's like what what's going on what what's happening and she started seeing things that weren't there and it was just it was so ridiculous that's hilarious but again

no fine stalker patty and not getting fine that's it stalker patty trips out yeah yeah look at you what year is that you had hair so it was probably 2009, 8, 7, somewhere around there. I think I shaved my head 2011 or 12. But he's, or she was a regular on the show, and she was like a legitimate crazy person. And they would have her on, and they would have all kinds of wacky people. That's from the Stern model, too. The whack pack and all that stuff. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. He opened up the door for all that stuff right yeah i mean they always had these wacky radio characters and it kind of kept that ball rolling yeah it's such a weird thing because they're like you know they're obviously there's a segment of the audience that's laughing at them but they're so grateful to be part of the show yeah you know and they they they it gives their life a little bit of a meaning the weird thing is it's not that long ago man well you know we're they they it gives their life a little bit of a meaning the weird thing is it's not that long ago man well you know we're talking about 15 years ago the world was a completely different place i know completely i know there was there was not there was nothing like podcasts

but what's amazing like we started the conversation talking about the public access stuff with uncle floyd like yeah there's always been that thing for funny, odd people to try and get out there and do their thing. You know what I mean? It's kind of, it's endless. It never stops. Like, it's inspiring. There's like this force to just be silly and go out there

and try and communicate with other silly people. And then all this media is changing. But that thing, everyone's still Uncle Floyd and Robin Byrd. There's now, I was having a conversation with my manager today, and she was telling me there's now 900,000 podcasts. What? There are 900,000 ranked podcasts out there that are regular podcasts that are being done. There's only 300 million plus people in this country, right? Right.

Whatever it is, 320 million. Yeah. So there's almost like one in three people have a podcast. Oh my God. Almost. It's so crazy. January brings flurry of releases, pushing podcast tally past 900,000. How many of those am I responsible for inspiring?

I need to know because i tell everybody to do a podcast like how many yeah i would i will claim 200 000 yeah i think no it's probably like 100 000 but even that yeah nuts that's amazing it's a lot of fucking people out there making podcasts it's like you know it's the same as twitter it's like right everybody has a voice you could just have a voice you can just just create a mic, get a mic, and you have one. Yes. Right? And here's the thing.

Like, if you're good, it'll grow. Yeah. I mean, it's really that simple. Right. If anybody wants advice on podcasts, the one thing I say is be consistent. Right. Just grind. You have to grind.

Grind, put them out all the time. That way people know they can count on them. Right. As soon as you disappear for a while, you lose people. Yeah. As soon as you take time off while you lose people yeah as soon as you take time off you lose people that happened on mine we my my buddy was like off for a couple weeks and it was and we and you could feel it yeah you lose your momentum yeah and then you lose the people that are addicted to it and then they find something else they go to this one or that one they're just you know you see the number

900,000 so many people yeah crazy that. So many people. Yeah. Crazy. That is crazy. Just out there talking about everything. It's a different world. And you can use that world in a beneficial way. People get things out of it. In this podcast, I've had so many interviews with inspirational people. I know. People like David Goggins and Cam Haines and all these folks that have really inspired people to change their life.

Jordan Peterson. Yeah. I mean, so many people. I know. That have inspired people to take chances and change their lives. Don't you feel like we're in this cultural moment where people are actively trying to go further? Yes. Like, we're always doing that, right?

We're always progressing as a species. We're always doing that. But it seems like there is a there's a bump right now yes there's an acceleration yeah happening where people are really not only thirsty for it but also participating in it for sure you can only think it's gonna it's gonna leap us further a lot a lot quicker well it's definitely it's definitely opening up conversations that people wouldn't have normally had. And it's one of the reasons why it's so valuable right now is because this is a weird time for humans communicating because so many people are communicating electronically. Yeah.

So many people are sending text messages and emails and not talking to each other for long periods of time face to face. Yeah. Like you and I have been friends for years. Yeah. But our biggest conversations we have are on this podcast. For sure. sure i mean we have dinners together and stuff like that but yeah sitting in a podcast studio you're locked in right staring at each other across the desk it's very unusual way to talk yeah and you're also freed up to ask each other things that you normally don't ask and we have jamie to make sure that we're not talking shit that's a little weird it's a little weird

that he's leering over there he's crucial he's shopping for toasters right he's the world champion googler people from google want him to come in and teach them how to google i believe i'm not joking man oh really people have asked him to come in like how are you what are you doing like people people watch the show what the fuck is he doing how's he doing it like that jamie's the goat yeah getting it done he's the greatest one-handed googler in the history of the universe like you probably are one of the best one-handed typers ever because you always have to type with one hand yeah you've probably developed a new skill i'm in a mindset when i'm here it's like it's an energy you can't recreate it in other

places but that's what's crazy it's like you anticipate what we're thinking, and then you pull up the thing before. I go, can you pull up? Oh, there it is. Yeah. It was weird. He had my ghost up there before I was done talking about it. I can type in Tom Papa ghost. It comes right up.

Here's the problem with ghosts. Those ghost shows. Well, yes. Those ghost shows are bullshit. A hundred percent. One of those guys got in trouble recently because he made a ghost book and he like plagiarized a bunch of shit like like blatant like copy and paste yeah yeah geez yep it's theater ghosts are some of my

favorite theaters when you go right when you go performing these theaters and you talk to the people i always asked it was you have a ghost yeah there was a little boy i was in where was i oshkosh oshkosh and there was an old theater and the guy who runs the theater said you know we've had there's legendary they keep talking about there's like three ghosts and the thing and they're having a cocktail party upstairs in this like cocktail lounge off the balcony and his son this guy's son ran into the balcony and he's talking with people he goes i gotta go get him and he goes in there and the kids leaning over the balcony talking to the stage having a conversation with someone he's like yeah no no that oh this is my dad. He wants us to go down there. Who wants us to go?

That guy. He wants us to go down there. There was no one down there. The thought about that with little kids is that little kids have not dulled all of their senses with the pressures of the world and all the other information that we carry around in our heads and all of our ideas of what's real and what's not real and that little kids are open yeah and then they can see things well um flea from the red hot chili peppers was talking about that with his son that his son is like i think it was flea yeah his son is like tuned into spirits in a way and then that he was looking at it was like maybe it's that these kids are not like maybe we all

have that in us but it's blunted right by pressures and life and the lack of sleep and responsibilities and relationships and work and fear yeah and everything right and and also like we define how the world is right we we get it in our head that this these are the parameters for the world this is how the world works and that's it and go to work and fucking button up your fucking sleeves and right there's my beliefs yes yeah my belief system is going to carry me through yeah yeah this is what it is it's a fact it is you know that's why it's good to smoke it up once in a while oh yeah kick the doors open that's one of my favorite things about pot yeah is it it makes you aware of how weird things actually

really truly are yeah when you don't weird things are when you don't do it for a long time and then do it yeah which is like my schedule uh you take it makes you look at everything you all your structure that you've formed over the last whatever amount of time and you're like you see it from another just from another perspective it just makes you look at it and be like, oh, well, that's kind of unnecessary. That's kind of douchey. That's fun. That's on. Easily opens those doors, too.

Just whoo. Hey, when you're saying you're reading all those books about the Native Americans and stuff, did they talk about their spiritual stuff? Yeah. Well, certainly they had a lot of spiritual stuff but there's a lot of peyote rituals they're really into peyote and they actually particularly was important at the end of the native americans free range when they got they all got you know conquered and moved into reservations then the peyote rituals became increasingly important for them oh really yeah why then because they're fucking filled with despair right dude the the stories of the reservations are one of the most heartbreaking things i've ever read anywhere about anything

like massive amounts of people dying from starvation and disease and you know it's horrible man people losing like most of their kids most most of their family members, and the amount of people that are left. Native American reservations, I don't know how many people live on them, but I don't think there's any growth or population boom. It's not like there's a bunch of, you know what I mean? No, exactly. The Native American cities are growing inside these reservations, and they're becoming more and more affluent.

It's not happening. No, they're destroyed. and more affluent it's not happening they're destroyed oh the fucking alcoholism too and it talked about that in um uh black elk life of an american visionary is the most recent one that i'm reading they're talking about just the alcoholism and that all they were converting all these native americans to catholicism right and how they just hated being Native American. They felt so terrible about it because it was just, their identity was just so disparaged by, you know, just being conquered and moved into reservations and extreme poverty.

And they would see these other people and they'd be like, these people look happy and healthy. And, you know, and then they're forcing this religion on them. The most heartbreaking when you'd see those old photos where they were putting them in in traditional dress like making them all of a sudden wear suits and ties and shoes and hats it was like oh it's so sad it's fucked up man it's it's one of i mean i always knew it was fucked up but the genocide of the native american people is one of the most overlooked parts of of our history we kind of like brush it aside like we're aware of it but we don't discuss

it all the time yeah like you know they killed like 90 of them with disease intentionally no just no just exposure to europeans oh really yeah some tribes, 90% of them were wiped out because of smallpox and all sorts of other diseases. Oh, geez. They had no defense for it. Yeah, just these people show up covering stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's awful. How do you, how do you, I have a daughter that's going to school.

She's going to be going to college. Dun, dun, dun. And so she's learning all about the world like all the darkness of the world you know you mean all you have to do is read history and not just you know our history globally it's just a it's a nasty nasty tale yeah and i feel though that i it's i want to like prep her before she goes even deeper when she goes away to the schools and starts learning about it even more intensely. You could tell, like, I don't want her to lose hope. You know what I mean?

Right. Like, it's a very, very dark, upsetting thing to learn about. But you have to kind of realize we're at least muddling through it. We are progressing. have to kind of realize we're at least muddling through it we're we're trying we're we are progressing we are conscious of that history right so don't lose hope you know what i mean like i'm afraid to send her out there without that armor in a way yeah don't lose hope is huge right find find good people they're out there find nice people they're out there especially you know i think people are very scared today and i think this is a a pivotal time with with human beings

so much change right so much change culturally and there's so much change you know just in the world well you're shifting and it's also tearing down like all the institutions that carried us for a certain amount of time right those things are no longer really important in this in the world like churches have fallen off and sure sense of community just the town squares you know we're isolated and so it's it's all of this shift yeah and that's whenever there's that shift and change in anything, even in your own life, when you have to move, all of a sudden your world is a little rocky and shaken. It feels like the planet is about to move. You know what I mean?

It's like we're all packing our boxes. It doesn't feel like there's any official structures anymore that are valid, like news. Where do you get your news? Who's more full of shit cnn or fox like it's like where's the news coming from right there's no one place where you can say like these guys aren't biased yeah this is not you know this is the one guy that is telling it straight yeah there's no place like that right so how do you know what's really going on in the world yeah it's about and and also no one's watching those

goddamn news shows are dropping off late night television dropping off everything's dropping off no one's watching no one's paying attention to that shit anymore right so all these structures that used to be there are primary places to go for entertainment and being informed and one of the weirdest things is people rely on folks like me yeah like hey don't do that right i'm not the place to go you want to hear some people talking shit yeah you can come to me but if you want to be informed listen i'll guide you in the right direction i'll tell you where where i go or i'll tell you who to listen to but don't listen to me right i have way too much on my plate and i'm not really paying that much attention. Yeah. You had that light shown on you last week, right?

Yeah. That was – Adorable. You know, it's always – it's not funny, but we always talk about, you know, at some point they're going to do it. At some point they're going to say evil stuff. Everyone gets their turn. Oh, for sure. To try to be knocked down.

Yeah. Right? Well, that's what cancel culture is all about, right? And it's this thing you look into just only look at the worst aspects. If someone exaggerate those, magnify them and ignore everything else. Right. The thing about it, though, is it's really difficult for people to swallow now because they know what that is. You know, most people who listen to the show.

Yeah. I mean, there's been 1,500 plus episodes. They know what the fuck it actually is well that was what was cool about all of the comments in defense of you in the show it was like it was like this person had never heard the show like you couldn't you couldn't you can't listen to this show without understanding the openness and the diverse um uh the the the acceptance of diverse points of view that and so also comedy like you can't take comedy and take it out of quote out of context and put it in quotes take a section of a bit yeah and use it as evidence of homophobia or

transphobia or anything else you know and it's it's disingenuous and they don't realize that by doing that they're just making people distrust them more that's all they're doing you're not going to convince someone that hey you know this show that you love that you listen to this guy all the time is actually evil right he's actually plotting against gay people and trans people and yeah it's everybody else that's protected and sacred in this world yeah you know yeah no it is amazing though but it's the comedy and comedians have kind of filled the void of a lack of grown-ups around you know what i mean like you're like it used to be walter cronkite or with that evening news and that's where you got it and then you saw johnny carson

or whatever doing the funny stuff right things need to be mocked yeah they do including us right of course everything needs to be mocked yeah it's one of the great things about comics is we mock each other we're always busting balls we're always best talking shit to each other it's hilarious it's the best it's fun right exactly and we actually enjoy it yeah you know i think it'll all turn around it'll all come back around i think what we're experiencing right now is just a shifting of our focus as a culture. And these things that used to be important, like sitting around the radio listening to the evening news, that shit is non-existent anymore. Nope. Nobody sits around the radio trying to find out what's happening in the world.

Like the whole family listening to the radio. I bet when they were doing that, they couldn't have imagined anything different. Yeah, but you do, I do crave, and my wife craves a connection. It's like, what are you listening to? Or what are you watching? What are you listening to when you're going out?

Oh, I'm listening to This American Life. Well, I'm listening to Jordan Peterson. All right, so I guess we're not going to have something to talk about tonight yeah but we should both listen to this one so you can come back and talk about it and have you know we're both thinking about the same things it's kind of a cool that sense of community yeah you know do you guys have a show that you both watch um we've been watching schitt's creek lately what's schitt's creek schitt's creek is hilarious you don't know Schitt's Creek? No, never heard of it.

It got picked up by Netflix. It's over. I think they've shot the last or they're shooting the last. But Eugene Levy, Levy, Levy. Oh, okay. Him and his son Dan created this show about a rich family who loses their fortune and ends up in this small town. Oh, I think I have heard of this. It's so funny.

Have we ever talked about that? Catherine O'Hara is on it. Oh, okay. And there's two other actresses that are just killer. They're just such defined characters. It's a very small show. It all takes place in this little shitty town, Schitt's Creek. And they're these affluent, arrogant kids and parents.

And it is so, it just hits. and they're these affluent, arrogant kids and parents. It just hits. The jokes are just fast and cutting. Nice. It's such a good show. It really is good. All right. It's the first thing that we've watched in a long time. We haven't been watching anything for a long time.

So it used to be on Pop TV, and then Netflix bought it? Yeah, exactly. All right. Yeah. Schitt's Creek. And that's father and son created it together. And they're just so damn funny. Wow.

Look at those eyebrows. Look at the matching eyebrows. Catherine O'Hara is just on point. She's so damn funny. Oh, all right, man. Good. I'm excited. And they're kind of short.

They're easy to digest. I was into Mrs. Maisel, but the last season, it started off kind of clunky. I haven't gotten back to it. Yeah, I feel like I should watch that one. I watched the first two seasons. I really enjoyed it. But it's hard. It's one of those things where it's so close to home because it's stand-up.

For comedy, yeah. How's the Lenny Bruce? He's very good. He's good. Yeah, he's very good. He's very believable. Yeah. How's the Lenny Bruce? He's very good. He's good. Yeah, he's very good. He's very believable. Yeah. Yeah.

I was just talking to Kevin Pollack. He's on that show. Yeah. No, he's the dad. Yeah. He's great. He's really great. I listened to a Lenny Bruce thing recently.

What's it called? It's on YouTube. It was an album that someone put out about Lenny Bruce, the killing of Lenny Bruce. And it talks all about some new stuff that I'd never heard, like his young daughter talking at the time and talking about the court case, similar to the Howard Stern thing,

like the case just that devoured him, that and the heroin, which is also suspect of, were they trying to get rid of this guy kind of a thing. Right. But it was a very interesting little documentary, audio documentary about the fall of Lenny Bruce. And you talk about just, you know, it's such, it's almost cliche how legendary that story is. It's almost cliche how legendary that story is. But just to be reminded of how completely alone he was, just having people show up in a comedy club, not even a club, just a nightclub, because there were no comedy clubs, that he was that brave to keep going, to keep speaking, while the whole government was coming to squash him like a bug.

They were arresting him. The bravery of that is astounding. Astounding. And like Howard Stern, he opened up the door to all of us. I mean, that guy opened up the door to all stand up. He created the art form, essentially, because it wasn't the same when he left. It was different. It was different. Before him, it was jokes.

Right. It was just jokes right jokes right exactly and he it became cultural commentary right from talking about religion talking about the government sex yeah love all of it loss here is an interesting thing that i was i was like so what happened when he died like so he dies in i believe 67 or 69 and i was like so what was the next thing like if they were really clamping down on him it was only four years later that carlin's case for the seven dirty words came up it was that close wow that in my head i always thought that was a much different era yeah that carlin was much later than but it was only four years later that they were still attacking. So he kind of picked up the fight in a way.

Is that remarkable? It is remarkable. Yeah, Carlin was arrested several times as well. Right, he was pulled off stage. Yeah. Just for speaking. And again, what is that, 40 years ago? Not that long ago.

No, I know. Amazing. Like if they could see what was going on any night in any club anywhere, they would be astounded. Oh, my God. If you could bring Lenny Bruce to the Comedy Store on a Friday night, he'd be like, holy shit. What the hell? Yeah, he'd be like, I gotta up up my game. I'm not offensive enough.

Yeah. You can't get arrested at all anymore. Yeah. I mean, watch Brian Holtzman. Yeah. He'd be like, whoa. You can say so much. Yeah. He'd say anything. We at all anymore. Yeah. I mean, watch Brian Holtzman. Yeah. People are like, whoa, you can say so much. Yeah, you can say anything. We're the cops.

Yeah. But it is pretty cool. You can get it on YouTube. Listen to the killer. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, I've listened to a bunch of his old stuff. It's weird. It's weird how comedy has a lifespan.

It really does. It really doesn't work. It doesn't. Culturally, things are so different that the taboos have been broken to the point where it's what he's saying is it's normal it's like a museum piece you listen to that album uh carnegie hall lenny bruce carnegie hall yeah i've heard that yeah yeah and uh it's cool like to hear the way he talks and the stuff and the his style and all that but as comedy to make you laugh it just

doesn't work it doesn't work no it's just a different he had a couple of bits that are still valid he had uh one bit that he did about uh gay people where he's like uh it's illegal to be gay right so what do they do they take you and they arrest you and they put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you. I mean, it's valid today. Obviously, it's not illegal to be gay anymore. But how crazy is that? Gay sex was in many places not legal then.

Right. Which is fucking insane. Mind-blowing. Mind-blowing. Insane. In our lifetime. In our lifetime. legal then. Right. Which is fucking insane. Mind-blowing. Mind-blowing. Insane. In our lifetime. In our lifetime. So weird.

Yeah. So strange. So the guy who plays him in Miss Maisel, he's good? Very good. Yeah. Very believable. Yeah.

Dustin Hoffman's the best Lenny Bruce, though. Did you ever see Lenny? Yeah, of course. He's fucking amazing. Yeah. And I think that's the best version of an actor portraying a stand-up comedian. Right.

What about Tom Hanks in Punchline? What about... Sally Fields crushed him. I didn't buy it. I mean, I guess Tom could have... The locker. He seemed a little bit like a comic. He did.

He seemed like an 80s comic. Yeah. He pulled it off. Like a Wayne Potter type guy type guy yeah it wasn't him that was the problem with that movie it was the stuff around it yeah the locker room and yeah they all met in the locker room like yeah go up and do their thing oh the locker room imagine you had to get changed to do comedy like what why do we need a locker room imagine the store just put in a locker room hey guys we have a locker room for you now like what so great why are we taking off our clothes putting on my show clothes you guys have cameras here what the fuck are you doing yeah this is my outfit yeah the um the scenes of like the the actual clubs themselves were

interesting because i saw punchline when i was an open mic-er. I think Punchline came out in 89. Is that correct? Sounds a bit earlier. I think 88. 87. It had to be around 88. Is that it, 87? October 88.

October 88. Nice. Okay, so that was right when I started, because I started August of 88. So it was right after I started. Right. And I remember thinking, wow. It was so romantic just to be involved in this thing. And I'd only been doing it for a couple months at that point in time.

So just signing up on Sunday nights for open mic night and getting my feet wet. But I remember watching that movie. I loved everything about stand-up then. I was so excited about comedy. You know, there's a movie about comedy now oh so and were you disappointed or were you into it at the time i didn't think it was very funny right i didn't laugh right there was there was no moments in that movie where i was like ha ha ha yeah but i always remembered the part that excited me was when they were in

the diner in the middle of the day like she came comes to tom to get jokes and stuff and i was just like how cool is that you they they're not in an office it's the middle of the day and they're just at a diner that seems so exciting freedom yeah freedom oh just show up and go to the movies with your friends i used to love that yeah i used to love but when i have families and responsibilities i'd love to call one of my buddies up hey what, what are you doing, man? Want to go to the movies? Fuck yeah, let's go to the movies. Yeah, whatever you want to do.

Hanging out with your buddies at like 2 in the afternoon at the movie theater. Nobody else is in there. The best. Laughing. The very first day that I quit my day job, I was in New York, and I finally was a full-time comedian. And I walked up to Central Park with my buddy. And it was packed on a Tuesday, just packed with people. And I remember being so disappointed.

Like, what are you? It should only be comedians right now. Where do you? How do all you people have off from work? I'm like, oh, other people can figure it out, too, to get a day off. Well, when you're in L.A. and it's like 2 in the afternoon and you're on the road and it's fucking jammed up with people, like, where are you people going? Yeah, why isn't everybody at work right now? You should all be in the office, you fucks.

What's wrong with you? That is like one of the more attractive aspects of comedy to people is that freedom. But that's also that freedom was one of the reasons why so many comics are so irresponsible and lazy. Yeah. It's because they have that freedom but that's also that freedom that was one of the reasons why so many comics are so irresponsible and lazy yeah it's because they have that freedom yeah that they don't actually sit down and work yeah like how many of us have actually like you've written a book norton's written a couple books how many comics have actually written books yeah it's fucking that is the real test of whether or not you have discipline right oh yeah yeah yeah write a book yeah no to sit in there every day and do it but

how long did your book take i this is my second book that's right and they take they take a about i don't know i guess like all in probably two years do you enjoy the process i love it enjoy the completion of it what do you enjoy more uh the process of it. Really? Yeah. I love, there's something about the routine. When I can get locked into the routine of this is how I, it's almost like it creates a, the routine creates a space for your creativity in a way. So if I get up at 7 and roll in there with my coffee and sit at the desk and open it up and go to work and know that this is happening now, good or bad, that routine that it's giving, it's like going to church. It's like, this is the time when this happens, right? This is the time when the writing is going to happen. It could be a week of horrible days, but then all of a sudden,

a couple of great days happen. I just love that discipline of it, and then just going to work on it, and then playing with the words, and then revising it, revising it, revising it. And I love it. That part of it really surprised me, that this is a very comfortable, cool place to be, and I could spend years here. That's great. That's a great thing to be really into doing because it's so productive. Yeah.

Do you write stand-up like that as well? Do you sit down and write stand-up in front of your computer? Yeah, not from a whole cloth, like not from out of the blue, if I can double up my cliches. But like mostly I'll rewrite. I will rewrite stuff. Like if I try something out on stage tonight and then have an idea, listen to it or just remember it,

and then I'll kind of noodle around with it and see if I can go further with it actually writing. Yeah. So where do you come up with your premises? Are they just random observations throughout the day, random thoughts with it actually writing. Yeah. So where do you come up with your premises? Are they just random observations throughout the day, random thoughts while you're driving? Yeah, yeah. Something somebody says,

some ridiculous thing that you saw somebody do. Yeah. That's on your mind, stuff that's kind of on your mind. And then if I'll get like, we were talking about the tree, like all of a sudden you're getting that joke that I was watching the other night. You start getting that thing down.

And then your mind almost starts to think about it all in its downtime. You know what I mean? And then all of a sudden you start to pop it up. But I have lost so much thinking I was going to be able to remember it that I just started writing more. I just started putting it down that I just started writing more. I just started putting it down. I just started writing. And it's been a real savior because there'd be whole things that were valuable that I just let go because I just didn't remember or got into the routine of performing it. But if I could have it down, I was able to keep track of it and go further with it.

Yeah, I think that's gigantic. I use a couple different programs, but one of them is called Scrivener. Right, you told me about that. What I really like about that is I set up my premises on the left side, so all my premises, and then when I click on them, it shows me the whole bit. Yeah.

And I just started doing that over the last three, four years. Yeah. Like really writing out all the bits and then having them categorized. Yeah, yeah. Apparently there's a way to set up Microsoft Word like Scrivener, which would be way easier because Microsoft Word is my preferred way to write because they're saved also on an app on my phone. Right.

So when I write bits on Microsoft Word, I write it and then i'll just go to my phone right i can pull up my microsoft word so you're in the club just take your phone out you can see everything you've been writing yeah exactly it's huge it's huge pages does that too well also on my iphone the notes application yeah so i'll copy and paste shit into notes yeah now it's i i really feel like and i think that's what writing the books did was it made me realize the uh the real value in getting it down it could always get better like yeah i would get it i would get it really good to a point but then realizing like this stuff even though it's killing could even be better yeah always it always right and and and the moves the changes that happen at that stage are so small that to me is like the the

writing that yeah that's the smallness of it yeah those little pauses those little beats yeah a little extra one extra word yeah right boom Just a change of a word. It's a giant pop. Yeah. Well, I have that feeling, too, when I watch someone, someone will say something, just one word, and I'm like, ah! Right? There's something about one thing that shifts it. Yeah.

Oh, man, you know who was really making me laugh yesterday in the car was Cat Williams. Oh, he's hilarious. God. So crazy. He doesn't get spoken of enough because he's so crazy, I think. But man, he just, you know, people just hit you, right? And he was just going off about the election and Trump running and all of this kind of stuff. And I don't care what side you're on.

This was, he would just destroy you. Yeah. He was just, the way he talks, when you talk talk about the words that's why it popped into my head he pulls words out that I would never think of using yes and he just yes

says them in his style god is he a naturally funny god I don't know if it's natural but he's definitely funny and you know man oh man when he was more active

when he was really touring a lot like during the Pimp Chronicle days yeah he was one of the best in the world oh my god one of the best in the world he was a my God. One of the best in the world. He was a monster. Going on stage to destroy.

All that Michael Jackson stuff. Oh, my God. That stuff was so good. So good. And dangerous at the time. I know. Because people hadn't come to grips with this idea that Michael Jackson was a pedophile. He did not care.

Especially not in the black community. And he was out there just fucking swinging for the fences. It's so good. Oh, my God. Oh, he really makes me laugh. He's a straight-up killer but yeah i think for most folks the pressure of the that high level celebrity is overwhelming it just it just fucks with you yeah it just fucks with you yeah it could wear you down and break you

down like it did with chris tucker it did deal with martin lawrence it did you know it does a lot of these great comics. Yeah. A lot of guys. It's a weird thing. It's fucking very weird. The pressure of that many people coming to see you, that many people relying on you, that many people, like, waiting for you to fail, that many people hating on you.

Yeah. You know, and then he, clearly there was some substances involved with him. Sure. You know, like, he had some shows where he would just go on stage just start yelling at someone in the front row and then leave yeah right exactly he did that i think it was in oakland he just went on stage and someone heckled him he's like fuck you bitch and it's like going going crazy this one guy doing this tonight and then got off stage and it's fucking you know there's 5 000 people there to see him

like what you can't just leave do you feel that pressure the bigger that i guess yeah i do but i also feel extra love like it's happy yeah it's nice man that's good i but i'm also aware that other people have fallen into these holes you know and i've benefited from the fact that these people have kind of carved this path and showed me where the holes are. Uh-huh. You know, and also, I'm definitely crazy, right? Sure. I definitely have some mental health issues.

But I'm also, I'm very thoughtful in meaning that I think a lot about things. Yeah. And I spend a lot of time alone just trying to look at things like an outside observer. Trying to look at things like, how would I, if I was me, but not me, look at me and what would I say to me? Like, how would I tell myself to gain the proper perspective? How would I evaluate my situation correctly?

How would I proceed? What would I do? What would I say? Man, I wish I had done this. Why don't I do that now? Right. You know, that kind of shit. That's good. So much of figuring stuff out is being conscious of it, right?

Being aware that I've got a problem going on or I have to, right? That means you're thinking about it. Yeah. The thoughtfulness with everything, with your diet, with your family. As long as you're constantly thinking about it, you're giving yourself a chance to take the right. Yeah, you can correct your path. Yeah, right, right. You can correct your mistakes and correct your path.

And there's no way you're not going to make mistakes, especially if you're putting out as much content as I do. Yeah. There's no way. And doing as many shows as I do. So I've accepted that and i've also accepted that these moments of adversity i always come out on the other end a better person a better comic a better better everything yeah better human and the cool thing is too that the you'd have to you'd have to almost you'd have to change exactly who you are for it all to turn

because it's not that a network is going to tell you that you did something wrong and take the wrong stance or misinterpret you. It's really your audience. It's that relationship with them and they know what you're about. You know what I mean? That's the beautiful thing about not having a job job.

Right. You could say something that you even didn't mean and as long as your fans who know and love you give you a pass, about not having a job job right like you could say something that you even didn't mean yeah and as long as your fans who know and love you give you a pass then it's okay then it's going to be okay and i've definitely done that i've definitely said some shit i shouldn't have said yeah but when you said that you wouldn't eat my bread that was really weird right now i got it you brought a knife you set it up i didn't that was jamie's this is one of our sponsors this is a kamikodo knife this is a beautiful japanese knife look at that bitch oh my god basically a sword is it heavy

no i mean it's really well made these are dope dope kitchen knives it's not serrated do you have good kitchen i figured i could cut bread though yeah cut the shit out of the bread do you have a good knife set at home um I've got good random knives. Oh, well, I'm going to hook you up. Yeah? Because, yeah, they sent me a couple of these. Ooh, look at that. That is a good knife.

Oh, fuck yeah, baby. Look at that. Right through. Come on, son. Look at that bread. Look at that glorious bread. Come on. Oh, my goodness.

Fuck this carnivore diet. Let's get in there, baby. This is Tom Papa bread. Come on. Fuck this carnivore diet. Let's get in there, baby. This is Tom Papa bread. Come on, son. I want to start. I want to try eating meat for... Jamie and I were talking before this. You would just eat?

We're like, yeah. Could you do it? I don't... Yeah, I think I could. Is it hard to do? No. Oh, thank you. It's not hard.

Pardon our chewing lady. Do you get bored? Mm-mm. You're okay with it? Mm. Come on. When did this come out of the oven? Four hours ago.

Oh, my God. So damn delicious. Let me get a piece of that heel. How big you want? Like this? Just like half. That's good stuff. Jamie's drooling over here.

Drooling over here looking at this. I always forget to bring butter. You did one time, but I did. This is fucking fantastic without butter. Come on. There's something to be said for pleasure, right? Yeah, a lot. Just like a balance between having too much indulgence and pleasure and no discipline and having too much discipline and no pleasure.

Right, exactly. But like you said, you felt so sick after going to Disney. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I ate ice cream. I ate, what else did I eat? I bet your kids are happy when you go off the leash. Oh, yeah, they love it. Right?

Well, they just love Disney. Yeah. The new Star Wars ride is off the leash. Oh, yeah. They love it. Right? Well, they just love Disney. Yeah. Dude, the new Star Wars ride is off the charts. Is it? It's so crazy. What's it like? Well, it's 20 minutes long. What?

Mm-hmm. That's awesome. Dude. That's amazing. Because most of the time, they rip you off with like a three-minute ride. Dude, this is 20 minutes long. From the moment you get there there and the scale of it is an insane there's there's one time where you get off of this thing and you know you get

transported into this area where all these stormtroopers are and the air it's a hall it's enormous and there's like a hundred stormtroopers there, and behind them is space. There's these huge 4K screens that show space, and you really feel like you are on a starship in space that's filled with stormtroopers. It's fucking bananas, man. Wow, that's amazing. The ride is crazy. So you're flying on a – Well, you get in, you move in, you go for a flight. Like this is...

See all those wheel marks on the ground? Yeah. There's no tracks. Everything is run by computers. The whole thing is run by computers. Right. Bro, it's amazing. I mean, it's just the most intricate and advanced ride Disneyland has ever done by far.

20 minutes. 20 minutes. Every step of the way, you're like, I can't even believe that they did this. I mean, it's 100% next level. Wow. That's cool. Look at the fucking detail of this place. You go into this, and it seems like you are in a real spaceship. This probably doesn't even do it justice.

Oh, no, it doesn't why you that my jaw was dropped the entire time i was like wow and is it more than just the ride is it like a whole section well it's a bunch of different interactive experiences there's people there's actors right that are they're you know like the like they're stormtrooper folks and rebellion whatever the bad people yeah they've they talk to all the people while they're stormtrooper folks and rebellion whatever the bad people yeah they've they talk to all the people they're walking around they ask you like are you here to fuck or are you a rebel they'll mess with little kids and they'll keep it going the whole time yeah that's awesome yeah you're a member of the resistance yeah yeah i haven't uh i haven't seen the new movie

not so good the movies have become disneyfied yeah, and that, I don't say that in a good way. Because Disney makes some awesome shit, but it's just. Commercial-like feeling? It's just fake. Right. No heart, no soul again. Right? It seems like it's gone through a corporate diversity filter,

where they're making sure that everyone, let's have women run this, and women generals, and this and that. Yeah yeah they're hitting all the right right it's by formula but the the movie feels like it's formulaic too i haven't seen the very latest one but the ones before that it's like they don't feel they don't feel special yeah like. I mean, I know this is not the best example, but Tarantino movies still feel like Tarantino movies. That motherfucker still knows how to make a real movie. You get out of his movie and you're like, whoa. Well, it feels like it's made by him, right? Yes.

It doesn't feel like it's made by a company. It would be impossible to make Once Upon a Time in Hollywood with a corporate structure. Right. Or without him. Yeah. Right? It would be impossible. Did once upon a time in hollywood with with a corporate structure right with or without him yeah right it would be impossible yeah did you hear his acceptance speech for the best screenplay he's like usually you could thank other people at this point but i wrote this by myself so well that's why it's so good oh i've got a good movie for you yeah yeah uh this was um i was uh talking with my buddy steven soderbergh who digests not only as a great director did you i did but to give credibility to this to this selection uh his movie of the year was give me

liberty this small independent film made in milwaukee with a lot of like regular people it follows this one guy young guy whose job it is to drive um people with disabilities around in a van through milwaukee you know like through like a public service and it follows him through one whole day it's so good wow it's such a good film you really gotta see it the performances are crazy good you don't know who's an actor and who's not it's just so well done

it really makes you feel like it's the total opposite of what you're talking about like that big committee kind of a corporate thing to see something like this you can just feel the filmmakers hearts and souls pouring into the movie those movies that are really big you also have to think of how much money's invested in them right and huge and if they go bad it's a giant financials like

and go bad means like not make a billion dollars yeah well or lose money like dr doolittle right right yeah i think that that movie is probably going to lose money oh really well just real dangerous coming from a guy like robert downey jr who's amazing yeah who's so incredible in the avengers and that movie made fucking kajillions of dollars yeah all those movies are amazing and then he goes and does this kid's movie and it really doesn't do well like those are dangerous those movies are like oh jesus we're on thin ice yeah get back to the shore right you know dangerous for who for the actor yeah for the for the production company for everybody yeah what if they come to you know the production company a year later and say hey we have a new idea for a movie in the product or in the theater or the

studio and the studio is like hey fuck you we lost a hundred million dollars on you you fuck see all the issues with cats oh that was probably the biggest financial disaster of the year right they pulled it back to like redo it and they're gonna re-release it yeah so many people are making fun of it they're gonna do it again they like yeah they left the visual effects team only apparently like nine months and they like left watches on people that didn't cover their hands up. All sorts of bad stuff. I saw it with my kids. My daughter's like, we have to see.

Was it good, though? Like fun to watch as a disaster? No. Okay. Because in the beginning, we thought, my daughter's like, we have to see the worst movie of the decade. How do we not go see that? And we were the only ones in the theater. It was really brutal.

And at first. How bad is it? It's bad. But it's so bad. Is it good? No, it's so bad it's not good bad. Wow. Yeah, it's just bad. It's so bad it's not good bad.

No, like in the beginning you have a laugh and it's like, all right, I can see why this is going to suck. And then by the end of two hours you're like, no, I've just been hit in the head with a shovel. It's that bad? a shovel it's that bad yeah it's really bad wow and you're seeing all these people that have been in other things who are just not talking about it you know like jane um judy dench and well it's it's bad there's some other movie that came out recently that someone was saying was as bad as the room oh really that

movie the room see if you can find that movie that was released yeah there was a whole article about it saying that this this movie is so bad that it's good that you need to i didn't even finish typing it and it kept and it auto completed what is it well it says now he's showing off his skills no it said it it finished up says the room is the worst movie ever yeah hollywood or something but a movie as bad as the room what shocked the one that shocked me that everyone was said was so bad was uh will farrell and john c reilly in that the new one right the was it true it's a canadian movie so bad it rivals the room yeah what is that it's's called Ryan's Babe.

I don't know. Never heard of it. Is that a recent article? Yeah, it's from four days ago. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. People are telling me you have to see this. That's from 2000. It was that movie.

So it's not a new movie, but someone just discovered the trailer online. But I figure you put Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly doing anything, and I'm in. Right, should be. And people really rebelled against it. That girl's hot, though. This looks pretty good. She's in her underwear running around for some reason. Perfect.

Oh, this is terrible. Yeah, it's pretty good. This looks really bad. There's some rough edits in there. So how are they going to redo Cats? I don't know. Are they going to re-edit? I think they already did.

I think they re-edited it, and already did I think they re-edited it and then but if they re-edit it everyone's going to know that it sucked so bad they had to re-edit it I've never heard of that ever

never a movie gets released and they're like you fucks okay we'll fix it we'll be back in a week how much money has Cats lost

it almost happened with that Sonic movie they just didn't put it out they were they like put out a trailer and the internet freaked out and they're like oh okay we'll we'll redo it yeah they spent a bunch of money redoing it sonic the hedgehog yeah it's coming out now it actually looks a little bit better yeah they gave him like better teeth or something dude it's hard man making a movie's got to be the most brutal thing ever you know so hard guys in here that have poured their heart and soul into a movie for years like motherless brooklyn i know this movie i know i didn't hear it was it good i don't know and i love him and i love the subject matter god

he loved that movie and he really did and he put such heart and soul into the soundtrack and i haven't seen it yeah it's such a you know sometimes jesus christ cat's headed for a hundred million dollar box office loss oh what the fucking shit oh my god oh my god i just keep thinking about them all like being at craft services and backstage like this is pretty great huh have you seen that celery sticks rebel wilson is committed to losing weight. She's lost a ton of weight, and people are mad at her. Are they really?

Yeah, they're mad at her. Because she's- They like her being big. They like her being big because she's big, and I'm big, and everyone's big, and it's okay to be big. And I heard it's healthy to be big. And so people are criticizing her for losing weight. Oh, come on.

They're criticizing Adele as well. Oh, really? Yeah, they said Adele, they're angry that Adele lost weight because they love the fact that she was this huge musical superstar and she was obese. So she wanted to take care of her health. She's trying to be healthy.

Live a little longer and then... You're turning on us. Well, she became a role model for certain people, I guess. And they... Good, be a role model for you to get healthy. We can all get healthy. Yeah, come on.

Stay away from Tom's bread. Eat only meat. Just don't eat it all the time. You just healthy. We can all get healthy. Stay away from Tom's bread. Eat only meat. Just don't eat it all the time. You just don't eat this all the time. Well, I didn't gain any weight this weekend. I didn't gain any weight. I ate all that shit. And then I fasted Sunday night until Monday.

I went to yoga Monday morning. Didn't eat until right before my first podcast. And I didn't gain any weight at all. That's great. Yeah, but it's accumulative. Moderation. It's eating like shit, but what was interesting was the pains. Back pain, knee pain.

What is that? It's inflammation. It's inflammation. Your body does not want to have to process all that stuff, and they think that may be the root for many people of a lot of causes of pain and discomfort is just inflammation heavy diet right sugar right sugar is a big one so if you get all that out of your system your body can what go to work on the stuff it has to go to work on yeah you get all that shit out of your system and your body doesn't experience inflammation from your food right and if you're eating food that like you

know grass-fed beef you know or in my case elk you know or yeah i mean i'm sure vegetables are not bad for you i just did it to try to find what so i just did it to try to find out what it's like to only eat meat right when you have no carbohydrates one of the things that's most amazing is that there's no crashing you would eat and you don't feel any different after you ate other than the fact that you don't feel hungry right like you don't crash right there's no ups and downs and peaks and valleys my energy levels were amazing really how quickly energy how quickly two weeks in two weeks two weeks in i noticed i felt amazing really and i was shedding weight I was shedding a lot of weight. I think I was like seven pounds down two weeks in.

Jeez. Now I'm 12 pounds down, 12-ish, something like that. I was 193 this morning. I was weighing about 205 before I started this diet. Really? Yeah. Man, oh, man. I feel a lot better.

Like a lot better. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what would you recommend? Would you recommend people just do that? Or do you think you moderate that? I think for people who have an autoimmune disorder, I do believe there are certain people that have an adverse reaction to some plants, some foods.

That's what an elimination diet is all about. It's like trying to find out what are the things that bother you. Yeah. But for me, it's like what I did is I just took a lot of multivitamins. What are the things that bother you? But for me, it's like what I did is I just took a lot of multivitamins. I took a bunch of different vitamins and nutrients and supplements on top of this carnivore diet. So I'm only eating meat. But then I'm taking all the essential vitamins and amino acids.

And I'm also taking fish oil. So I'm covering all my nutritional bases. Right. But I'm not doing it with food. I'm not doing it with plants. i'm only eating grass-fed meat and then i'm or or uh elk and then on top of that i'm taking in fat from like bacon like bacon i needed fat because elk in particular is very lean if i'm only eating elk if i eat grass-fed beef i'm fine but with things like, you really do need some extra sources of fat. If you don't have fat, would you start to feel bad?

Yeah, your body doesn't like it. No. Your body does not want a low-fat diet with low carbohydrates. There's a thing called rabbit starvation. Have you ever heard of that? People got that in Antarctica. I think it was Antarctica. In the cold climates where they were shooting rabbits and eating rabbits,

and they were literally starving to death even though they were eating all these rabbits because rabbits have no fat on them. So they're only eating this lean protein but with no fat at all, and you start feeling like shit. Different explorers have found that too. You know, when they were living in places and trying to eat only the foods that they could harvest off the land they're eating animals like they had to take in fat if you don't take in fat you feel really bad yeah yeah so a

little bit so you could balance it so would you say maybe 80 this is what i would say try it just try just try a carnivore diet try it straight straight out. Right. And I think you'll be amazed at how good you feel. Now, here's the thing. Is that a honeymoon thing? Like, what is it like if you extend that to 90 days or, you know, 365 days? Yeah. You're going to feel like shit eventually. Right.

Is it going to start breaking your body down? Right. I don't know. I only have experience in 30 days. But in my experience in 30 days it was enormously beneficial you did say something in your post about a explosive diarrhea it needs to have a new name diarrhea is not strong enough for what i was experiencing for real yeah it was like someone was tapping into uh like an oil like an oil well oh geez, jeez. I have pictures. So why was that happening?

Well, I talked to Dr. Sean Baker. He wrote a book on the carnivore diet. He's a physician that's a carnivore diet advocate. He's been eating this way for two years. Two years. Yep, and he seems to think that it has to do with the colon adjusting to the fact your body doesn't have any dietary fiber. So you're not taking in any rice or bread or anything that's going to absorb the water.

So your body's like, what do I do with all this liquid? It's going out the asshole. Ew. How long did that last? Around two weeks. Two weeks? Two weeks of rocket fuel coming out of your booty hole. Ah, jeez.

But if you get through it, and Tom Segura's going through it right now. He is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He sent me a text the other day saying, this diarrhea is astounding. Oh, no. Oh, astonishing. That's what he said, astonishing. It's not coffee, is it?

Because you guys both drink coffee. I'm just asking just a general question. Because I know you guys both intake a lot. Bro, it could be all kinds of liquids. Whatever kinds of liquids are coming out of your butt, it's not normal. I was really getting excited about trying this. But here's the thing. At the end of that, it all goes away.

Right. I mean, at the end of two weeks, my body adjusted, and now it's not a problem at all. Really? Yeah, not a problem at all. Now. So what's breakfast? Steak or eggs. Sometimes, like this morning, it was steak. Yesterday morning, I ate six eggs. Sometimes like this morning it was steak.

Yesterday morning I ate six eggs. Right. Yeah. Just woof those down. Lunch? I don't eat lunch. Don't eat lunch. I just usually eat two meals a day.

Right. And then the second meal is usually steak. No steak. Either elk or a beef steak. I think I've asked you this before, but whenever I think about these diet things, I always picture my family looking at me while they're eating pasta. Do you feel like an outlier at dinner with your family? No, they knew what I was doing.

They didn't make fun of me and shit. Right. It's no big deal. Oh, what are you eating? Steak. You eating steak again? Right. My kids are hilarious.

Yeah, that's what I always feel. My kids mock me too. That's good. That's healthy. Yeah. Yeah. You know,. That's healthy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they didn't mind. Yeah.

Nobody bothered. My wife didn't care. Everyone knew I was doing it. Right. So it was okay. Right. Yeah. Your wife's not like, come on, have ice cream with us.

No. No, boy, that'd be a problem if she was. Yeah. You know, if you look so good, like, damn, ice cream looks good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. It was an eye opener., ice cream looks good. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was an eye-opener.

But here's the thing. Yeah. I'm sorry. Here's the thing about that kind of stuff. You kind of have to commit. Right. Like, if you just say, I'm going to try to eat healthier, it's too loosely defined. I know.

I know. I was doing the intermittent fasting and lost a good amount of weight. And then it just kind of like plateaued. And I feel like I'd like to be, you know, like 10 pounds lighter. And I'm working out. I'm doing all that stuff. But I feel like it needs something to shock my system to go to it. Nothing will shock your system like this carnivore diet, including your butthole.

But you will lose a lot of weight. I lost, I mean, I lost a legitimate 12 pounds of fat. Just fat. My face got thinner. Yeah, you look thinner. Like when I was washing my face, I would feel, actually it feels a little fatter now because I went through Disneyland. Some Disney chunks.

Disney. I ate ice cream. I ate a lot of dessert. And you just had bread. Actually, not really any fatter, but joking around. Maybe I'm a little swollen no you look you look leaner well i was for real i i was you know i was getting fat i was developing a gut like we did this weigh-in thing and oh so many people mocked me i was getting a gut though my my stomach was like hanging out and also when we came in here to uh do that i had my it was December 23rd, and my family was in town, and we had

eaten like pigs that day. Right. I was considerably bloated with food as well, because it was nighttime. We had a nighttime podcast. It was like 10 o'clock or something like that. Right. It was a pretty late podcast. Yeah.

When we all took our clothes off and got on the scale. So I knew I was probably going to do the carnivore diet anywhere, but that was like, yeah, let's just do it. Let's just do it. Let's go. Set it in was like, yeah, let's just do it. Let's just do it. Let's go. Set it in my head. Right. Let's just do it.

Yeah. So knowing that for the month of January, that was all that I was going to eat. Yeah. That really helps if you're going to try to stick to something, to have like a real solid schedule. Right. This is the month. Sober October is another perfect example for me.

Lent. Yeah. When we do Sober October, we have one month, no booze, no pot, no nothing. There's something good about that, where you have that month. Because it takes it out of all that kind of mushy brain stuff of, oh, but maybe I'll just now, we're celebrating.

Yeah, we need a certain amount of rigidity occasionally. That's how you get shit done. And I mean, even if you are writing, if you said i am going to write every day for the month of february yeah you know every day yeah like there's something to that it's the routine yeah so something really beneficial i'm going to write for one half an hour every day if you do that yeah you get things done it's really true if you just decide i'm going to go on a carnivore diet for the next 30 days starting right now yeah and

just count down on your calendar 30 days from now you'll fucking lose weight and you'll feel amazing yeah i just don't know if it's a way to eat all the time no that's the thing it's like it seems like an extreme thing that i would not be yeah willing to maintain well you're the bread master well that's the thing you're the sultan of sour that's why i want balance i'm always searching for the right balance. I think a great move is six days on, one day off. That's what I think. Six days on a rigid diet and one day where you look forward to eating bread and pasta and drinking whatever you want and having ice cream.

One day. That was the question. You just reminded me of the question. No booze during that month? I drank booze. You did? Yes. Still lost all that weight. Really? But I don't drink a lot. Right. question you just reminded me of the question no booze during that i drank booze you did yes still lost all that weight but i don't i don't drink a lot right drink like a glass of wine

with dinner maybe two glasses yeah yeah that's all i was shot sometimes before i go on stage right shot of whiskey right yeah so it's not a lot right you know if it's more than two drinks at night it's unusual you're cool with whiskey and then going on stage? Woo! I like it. You do? I like it. You don't feel like you're just used to it. I would feel whenever I drink before I go on stage

I just feel like a little off. I feel on. You do? Yeah, I like it. Even when I film I do a shot right before I film.

Oh yeah? Really? One shot. Yeah. Really? that's interesting good good shot of buffalo trace whiskey yeah on the old pipe and you're good to go come on son that's wild liquid whiskey's wild liquid it is wild it's wild liquid right yeah you want to get wild that's wild liquid yeah wild fuel i don't know if I want to be wild. But we have different styles, too, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. And it also helps me deviate when I'm writing on stage. If I'm fucking around on stage, it helps me deviate. I go off on a tangent. A little more courageous? Yeah, maybe. Or a little more reckless. Maybe is a better word. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And what about weed, though, in that same situation? Yeah, that same thing. I like weed for that, too. Yeah. That doesn't make you more timid on stage. No. No? It makes me more, it makes me nicer.

Right. But I don't think it makes me more timid. Right. Weed makes me nicer. Yeah. That's one of the things I like about weed. Like, I need more things that make me nicer. That make you nicer?

Yeah, it helps me. When you look at yourself, you think that you could be mean sometimes? Not necessarily mean, but I am naturally aggressive. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And that makes you a little bit more.

I like to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's call this fucking ride now. Right. Let's realize we only have a certain amount of time left. When I get high, I want to call my friends and tell them I love them. Right. That's what I want to do.

I know. You know? I want to hug people. Just want to be around them. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be nicer. I know.

It is good. But I have, yeah, I don't know. How do you feel? I haven't performed high in a long time. How about tonight? When are you up? I'm not up tonight. You're not up?

I'll be up on Thursday. Thursday? Yeah. What are you doing tonight? Chillax up tonight. You're not up? I'll be up on Thursday. Thursday? Yeah. What are you doing tonight? Chillaxing. Yeah, chillaxing. My wife, it's kind of uncomfortable because my wife has people over because my special airs tonight.

Oh, to watch your special? You have to sit with them? No, they're going to do it and I'm going to, I don't know, sit in the yard and put a cigar. I don't know what I'm going to do. Don't be there for that. I can't. Ew. I can't. Why is she doing that at your house she's so excited oh that's nice it is it's nice

they're all excited they all want to do it but i can't watch it of course you can't watch it you know yeah i'll be in the other room listening to if they're really laughing or not judging their laughs that's terrible is that hard that's a bad feeling man you don't want that in your life yeah but i do feel especially now like that that's all done and I'm moving into new territory, that the weed kind of can play a good role. Yes, for sure. You know what I mean? How much material do you have set aside for your new stand-up?

I've only got about 20. That's good, though. Yeah. When did you film? October. Oh, so you gave yourself some 20. That's good, though. When did you film? October. Oh, so you gave yourself some time. That's nice. November, December, January.

Four solid months. That's good. Yeah. So I've got this new direction, a new area of stuff. But it shrinks the more you do it. Yeah. And the special was going to come out a little later. So I thought I had more time.

But then they moved it up. Isn't that exciting, though, when you're scared? Yeah, when you're on stage. Yeah, you don't want to be material. You're scared. You've got to write new premises. Yeah, I was thinking about it the other day. You always feel like a young comic because you're always putting yourself back in a vulnerable position.

It doesn't matter how experienced anyone is. You go out there and I'm going to do all this new stuff. You're a child again. You have no weapons. Which is great. It makes you youthful. It makes you like, okay, we're still like a kid. It's like, no, I've been doing this for 20 years.

Yeah, it's a great aspect of stand-up comedy when you do a lot of specials because it keeps you humble. Yeah. It really does. Yeah. And it keeps you appreciative of the art form. You never get complacent. Well, that's the coolest thing about this era of comedy.

And I think that's how Netflix changed the game by having so many people put out so much content. That's seen by a lot of people. It's making everybody get on their game and write more. The era of getting a headliner set and just rolling for 20 years is gone. So it's actually taken

the whole art form and pushed it further. It's great. It really is. It is. It's such a good moment. It's such a good moment. And so many different voices coming in. From so many different places. in yeah so from so many different places just not only in the culture but from around the world have you seen ronnie chang

yes fucking hilarious great so different yeah i love it on stage with a suit real angry and shit fucking great i want to talk to him he's cool guy i gotta get him in here yeah you know him yeah i know him i gotta get him in here all right i enjoyed his act yeah i enjoyed it he's a good guy too and it was like i didn't he didn't remind me of anybody right setups delivery punchlines premises all of it seemed like unique no this recognizable and relatable but unique right exactly yeah no he's i mean that's what's so cool this is like the whole globe has opened up. It's like all these voices from all this different stuff. It's a fucking great time to be alive. It really is.

It is. It is. And this art form, you know, I've been thinking about this a lot. And I really think I'm going to do something about this. I want to document how everybody does it. Because I think this is the only art form that is a global, worldwide art form that's enjoyed by everybody yeah that's not really documented yeah right like musicians it's documented how they write songs it's documented how you learn to play music you can go to school for it you know you can you could take classes online

when you're a comic man you got to kind of figure it out on your own yeah and i i think we would all benefit from some sort of documentation and particularly for the people coming up the girls and guys coming up that are learning how to do stand-up now would benefit tremendously from like a guy like you breaking down how you do it how you started what's different now right so i'm thinking about doing a series oh yeah and i'll put yeah and i'm probably going A guy like you breaking down how you do it, how you started, what's different now. Right. So I'm thinking about doing a series. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and I'm probably going to put it on YouTube.

Like a podcast and do it like a podcast, but call it like the comedy creation series. I'd love to be a part of that. Yeah, yeah. I want to get everybody. It would be cool. As many people as I can. Tell me how you started, how old when when did you start yeah what year was it was your first club and just break down how you do it yeah that's a great thing because

it's so varied yes you know from doing the show with fortune uh we shout out the fortune femster yeah to the great fortune she's hilarious yeah her special is up right now is it yeah sweet and salty uh netflix netflix as well, yeah. She's so great. And we're interviewing all these comedians. We had Jesus Trejo came in today. I love him. Love him. And he's such a unique story. So different.

Yeah. You know, his parents coming from Mexico. He's got to care for them. He goes down to Mexico where there's like this new scene coming up of Spanish-speaking comedians. Down to Mexico where there's like this new scene coming up of Spanish speaking comedians. I mean, that story, you put that one and then you talk to, you know, Ryan Hamilton, two totally different planets. Yep. All in the same form.

Yep. It would be great to watch. Fuck yeah. It would be amazing. It would be really good. The world needs to know how these fucking people do these things. Yeah. Because it's like, if you don't know anybody that can sit down and talk to you about how they do it, it takes too long to figure it out. Oh, completely. Completely.

Like, if you're in Pittsburgh, I don't know what kind of scene Pittsburgh has. Right. I'm sure it's got some kind of a scene, but how many people really? Yeah. And I mean, couldn't you really- And how many really good ones are still there? Yeah. That you can really learn from. How do how do you find out yeah you know no i know that's a

good thing i mean when seinfeld put out the uh documentary like people still listen to watch comedian like young comics oh yeah because there's very few roadmaps out there there's very few glimpses into how someone is doing it and how they're working. There's been other stuff where people will show themselves on stage and they're just backstage drinking or just going about their day like a road doc kind of a thing. But very few about process. Yeah. Very few. Yeah, process and how much you've adjusted.

Yeah. What do you do differently now? What do you think about your old stuff? What you do differently if you start over again yeah yeah it's good stuff yeah it's uh we do a it's a weird art form in that it really it doesn't have a class you can take nope well they have classes they don't really you know what those classes are good for getting you on stage they're good for that yeah. You know what those classes are good for? Getting you on stage. They're good for that. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, very few classes are taught by legit comics. Right. Right. Maybe there's some of them out there that I'm not aware of. Yeah. Every class that I've ever seen has been taught by scrubs. Right.

They're probably going to give you bad advice. Rick Crome does one in New York. Remember Rick Crome from The Cellar? No, I don't. He's great. He's been around a long time and that's very valuable he's like a real you know a real thoughtful practitioner of it all you know what i mean and i've seen him just glimpses of him like when he'd be teaching downstairs at the cellar and it was like okay this is legit but then you

see some names of other people who are out there doing it, and you're like, oh, man. I would imagine it's good for you, too, to teach because you can kind of think about the art form more. That would be really interesting. I don't know if I could teach it. Could you? Could you take some young?

You'd have to be really careful because you don't want to mold someone into your style. That would be the front that'd be the temptation yeah just do it like this yeah yeah just tell them fuck you bitch but i i'm an observational comedian not anymore you're not yeah yeah but yeah other things when you learn how to teach it's better like i got way better at Taekwondo when I was learning how to teach. So I was teaching through most of my competition days. And it's one of the reasons why I think I got so good

because I was breaking down the technique constantly. I wasn't just doing it. I was breaking it down for beginners and showing them. So I made sure that my technique is very good. It's like in my martial arts you know career one of the things that i'm known for is i do everything i do it correctly right it's very crisp my technique is like i always i've prided myself i is that a word yeah i did sounds weird yeah i would pride myself on having excellent technique it wasn't just that it was powerful

it looked sharp it was powerful. It looked sharp. It was correct. Yeah. And jujitsu is the same way, too. Guys get way better at jujitsu. I've never taught jujitsu, but guys get way better when they start teaching it. Right.

Another cool part about this era is that people are staying comedians longer. Yeah. Right? Where people would do comedy, they'd get blown out to a TV show or something because economically just to stay a comedian wasn't really feasible. But now you can actually make a living and it's actually a more valued thing in the culture. Like this is the first wave of guys staying in it for their whole career and not wanting to get out. They're not looking at it as a way to get out of it. Someone was just asking about that.

Like, what was the last person that you know that had a special around the year 2000 that's out of the game now? Right. Like, completely quit comedy. Right. Who completely quits comedy? Yeah. Not anymore. It's just too easy.

You know, just think about those, you know know afternoon diner trips and going to the movies and you're like all that goes away if i got a job job yeah yeah and the only way you would do it is if you're not making enough money so then you would have to get a job job right right yeah yeah but no i mean you know even eddie murphy he, he's seeing what it's become. Yeah. He's got to be regretting it at some point of like, why did I leave? Why did I stop doing it? Maybe, but I mean, he made a lot of fucking great movies. He did, for real.

And he also grew as a human being, you know? Look, no regrets. You could still see just when he was hosting, it just pops out of him. It's just such a, he's a volcano of comedy. If he had kept cracking at it all this time, though, you know what I mean? Even like a little bit would have been, it would have been good for me. It would have been good for me to watch. It would have been, but it will be great to see what he does now because he's kind of committed to it.

He's committed to – I think he signed a deal with Netflix for two specials. Oh, for two? I believe so. Wow. I believe that's what I read. See if that's correct. One-handed type of genius. That would be cool.

I think they gave him a shit ton of money. I could only imagine. Dolomite. I haven't seen it. I heard it's awesome. So good. Is it? So good.

Got a huge response from people. How he's not nominated is, you know. Fuck the nominations. I know they're nominations. Fuck off. I know, but still, he really should have been. God. Ricky Gervais should host every award show from now to the end of time.

I know. Just to let all those twats know. We're on to you. We're on to you. Climate change is real. Fuck off. Get out of here with your golden man statue sit down taking a private jet everywhere fuck off he was so good he was what i mean one of the best performances i saw this year for sure dolemite yeah i need to see it i haven't seen it

you do he's brilliant he's brilliant and it's comedy it's so good jamie says just one one special one special yeah okay i'm they're gonna give him a shit ton of loot and i hope he uh i hope he works it out could be a movie or else something because they did dolomite so they might oh right a movie and a special special yeah that makes sense right yeah it's gonna be work you know unless he hires a bunch of writers to craft the bits and then that won't be right anyway. You know, you really need the work. You need to be on those stages. Yeah.

Ellen did it. How was it? It was good. Was it good? I didn't hear anything about it. It didn't look like she had taken off for decades. It certainly didn't. Well, she does her show all the time, so she does do that monologue.

She does. But, you know, stand-up's stand-up, you know? Don't you think the monologue is like stand-up light, though? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like Jay Leno. Yeah. Right?

He was always doing those monologues, but then he would do stand-up on Sunday nights, and then he'd do corporate gigs. Yeah. Yeah. Right, exactly. But he wasn't banging it out in the clubs every day like us. No.

He's still going now, though. I talked to Bill Maher. I had him in here, and he was repulsed by the idea of going to the clubs. It's like, oh, why would I do that? Like, literally. I'm like, you don't want to go to the clubs? Yeah, why not?

No way. I'm done. I escaped. I'm out. Yeah. I'm like, but it's the greatest way. Like, you hang out with comics. You get to do stand-up.

Yeah. It just seems like low rent? I don't know, man. I mean, sometimes people have their own audience and that's all they want. Right. They don't want to go, like a show at the store. Yeah. Like tonight I'll go up at the store and there'll be 14 other people on the lineup.

Right. And there's people there to see every one of those people. Yeah, right. So they're not, they're just there to see you. They're there to see comedy. That's what's great. Yeah. They might not be into you at all.

Yeah. It's like going to the gym. No one wants to really go to the gym. It's hard at the gym. Exactly. But then you start to love at the gym. It seems like, you know, I talked to Burr about this, and he's in agreement. He believes that you have to do it.

He's like, that's the only way. The only way. You got to go to the clubs. I'm like, I think so, too. Yeah. He goes, nobody else that doesn't go to the clubs really kills. Right. Yeah, you can get through it.

Yeah. You can do a monologue. You can recite a monologue. Yeah. But you're missing all of that high impact stuff in between. You also run the risk of being funny because people love you. Yeah. The people that love you, that come to see you, that you're a crowd.

Right. You run that risk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you can pull it through. Brian Regan may be different. He might be an exception to that rule, because I don't think he goes to clubs and he still murders. He does. But he's out there performing all the time.

All the time. All the time. Non-stop. And he treats, you know, he's in a good position where he's beloved, where he can treat a set in front of 3,000 people. He'll kill, but also be able to work his stuff out within that set. Yeah, he'll work out new stuff. Yeah. He's a unique guy, right?

Because he's super popular with his crowd. Yeah. But he doesn't have a problem with being famous. He can go anywhere. Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. Yeah, there's people outside of the comedy loving world that don't know who he is no which is astounding to all of us yeah right yeah but that's how

fragmented the culture is like we were talking about if you're just watching one news or watching one kind of thing it's like where everyone's in their own little bubble you know there's you know joe coy is selling out you know the forum yeah and my parents will have no idea who he is multiple shows i think too i think he did two shows at the forum yeah you know what i mean like we're we're such a big massive entertainment eating colossus that people can be huge and be invisible at the same time like sebastian yeah sebastian sells out four shows at madison square garden sometimes i have to explain who he is to people right like how do you not know isn't it weird but meanwhile

he can go places yeah it's really a beautiful balance yeah he can go to the mall nobody gives a fuck yeah you know yeah taylor swift can't do that i was watching a documentary i should say my kids were watching i watched it last night with my daughter dude there's a beginning of it when she walks on stage in the stadium and you see all the fucking people with their lighters on and everything like wow i guess it's not lighters it's the light from their cell phones from their phones or something but yeah i know the shot you're talking about it's crazy but what was so cool about it was watching her as a 13 year old learningold learning to write songs. Yeah. She's just, she works. She does.

She works. That's got to be an incredibly bizarre place to be. Her existence. Her life. Yeah. Her life. Because she's young. I know.

How old is she now? 29 in that documentary. So she's been hugely famous for how many years now? 16, I think, is when she came on the scene yeah 13 years and those are like very formative years i know she seems like she handles it pretty well i mean that's what yeah from the documentary it was i was really impressed like how good of a songwriter she was like watching her come up with stuff she's obviously so practiced and knows what she wants to do and just the way she was coming up with stuff as she was on the fly maybe that's the key

yes maybe the key is you have to like really be obsessed with your work and doing what you want to do a hundred percent like prince that hundred percent there's they are making the stuff they're not putting things they're not you know they're, they actually have a craft that they can go to work on. Like she's a writer. All that noise. Totally. A really good writer. Yeah.

And all that noise, you know, she was obviously just even from the glimpse that they showed us in the documentary, dealing with weight and the fame and the Kanye stuff. Weight? Yeah. Weight? Yeah. She had, you know, she would see pictures of herself and stop eating. What?

Yeah. Really? Is that in the documentary? Yeah, yeah. I only watched it for like two minutes. Yeah. I walked in, my kids were watching. I'm like, I got to get out of here before I get infected.

No, it was pretty good. I liked it. I think so. I'm sure. I was impressed by her. I really was. That's a bummer, though, that she's always been so skinny. Well, everyone's got stuff they got to deal with.

But the thing that, like you said, it's a weird place to be. But that she can go and write songs and go and perform them, that seems like she's got something tangible, meaningful, that will get her through that. Right. It's not like a pop star where a corporation puts together your look and your songs and your thing and your this and your that. She's doing it all herself.

Yeah. You're not just the guitarist. Someone else is writing the songs and doing all this stuff, and you're just doing drugs and shredding once in a while. You know what I mean? It's important to have something that you do. Yeah. It could be something small and stupid,

but it really gives you your life meaning. And without it, it doesn't have to be this big performance stuff or stuff that gets you a lot of money right like a little hobby a little craft a little something you can go to sleep thinking about yeah it's it's a i don't know why but it's an important part about being a human being well it gives you that's i think you nailed it it gives you meaning like you're you're working towards something you're working at something yeah yeah it shuts the noise out as you're thinking about this thing that you're actually getting better at yeah and then you get the satisfaction seeing the progress yeah yeah yeah and i mean she's you know as big as they get but then she can crank out these songs and

you can see like this calm come over her as she's doing that part. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool to watch. Tom Popp, I'm a Taylor Swift fan. There you go. I was definitely watching my daughter, who's a pretty skeptical kid at 17, and to watch her admiration for her as a woman getting it done, that part, she definitely gained more points for that.

That's cool. I wonder what happens with someone like that. Like where do they go as they get older? Where do they go as they, I mean, you're growing up and living your entire life in this superstar position, very strange superstar position. Well, it probably, you know, the white hotness of it probably fades to some degree. But if you're an artist like that, you keep creating.

You know, like Bonnie Raitt was just at the Grammys, right? And she had their moments of being huge. And then you just become like a working musician in a way. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Now, that's a good way to do it right yeah sort of be appreciated by your fans keep going out there and just keep doing it and they take them along with you and yeah see if

they stick around and you're 90 years old playing a nursing home but there's still 20 people in the audience yeah yeah it's pretty cool it's a pretty good thing yeah like look at willie nelson yeah still out there banging it out yeah amazing stop smoking weed he did stop smoking weed no lung problems really no it's down to edibles uh well he's still getting high though but he was fucking up his lungs i guess which is hilarious because he's like 90 he must have been smoking a lot. I wonder if he smoked cigarettes as well. Did he smoke cigarettes as well?

Yeah. I don't know about that, but I heard a story of him smoking garbage cans full of weed in Hawaii. Garbage cans? He just had them around. Oh, my God. Who was that country music star that has that song, I'll Never Smoke Weed with Willie again? Oh, really? Yeah.

That fucking guy, Travis. Trent? What's his name? Famous guy. I'll Never Smoke. Toby Keith? Toby Keith, that's right. Toby Keith, right.

Because he got so messed up. Yeah, it's like he's got a song, I'll Never Smoke Weed with Willie again. He just puts you in the grave, son. It's amazing. Just cranking it out. And his thing was to be nicer. Yeah. Willie Nelson has always talked about his mean streak and his whiskey streak.

And the weed was the thing that really made him a kinder person. That's what it does. Yeah. It's the best aspect of marijuana is it makes you more kind and more – it makes you think about community and friendship and just forgiving people too. Right, exactly. Relaxing, just letting go of all the bullshit. Yeah.

That's what the world needs, a lot more forgiveness. Especially today. A hundred percent. We could all use just a little more understanding yeah where are you going to learn if you don't make mistakes exactly screw up and then you correct it and you become a better person the lyrics this song should be rewritten by somebody about joey diaz they're pretty good i always heard that his herb was top shelf lord i could not wait to find out for myself well don't knock it till you tried it.

And I've tried it, my friend. I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. Now we learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town. He fired up a fat boy and passed it around. The last words I spoke before they tucked me in. May I discount bungee jump, but I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. I made discount bungee jump. I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. I may discount bungee jump. I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

My party's all over before it begins. You can pour me some old whiskey river, my friend, but I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. Smoking weed with Joey Diaz is one thing. It's the edibles that'll get you. The edibles? Joey's edibles? Oh, my God. Really?

Yeah, he'll get you. The edibles? Yeah. Joey's edibles? Oh, my God. Really? Yeah, he'll dose you. He'll take a 500 milligram edible and he'll take the wrapper off and put a 20 milligram edible label on it. Hey, what have you heard about microdosing? A lot. Yeah? Yeah. Acid or mushrooms?

Acid. A lot of people do it. I know. It's becoming a thing, right? It seems to help them sort of like stay focused and centered and calm and keep the chatter down, negative self-chatter, all that kind of stuff. Is there anything bad to it? I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, I've micro-dosed it a couple of times. Yeah. But I've never done it on a regular basis like a lot of these people do. But I know a lot of people are doing it with psilocybin. And a lot of them do it. They take it like once every couple days. They don't even do it every day. They take it every few days.

They find it remarkably beneficial. Ron White is into microdosing. Oh, yeah. Psilocybin. Yeah. Really? Loves it. And it's not like you're really tripping.

No. No, it's barely perceptible. Really? Yeah. Barely perceptible. But it just gives you a nice feeling. You know, it's like there's something about it that's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then people feel like that it just eliminates some of the anxiety and the shit that goes on in your head that you could be battling with. It calms those voices down for different people. Yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously for everyone. Everyone has a different reaction to that. Tom Papa, we've got to wrap this bitch up. Where are we going to go?

It's 3 o'clock. So what? We did it. We just did it for three hours. Come on. Let's go for five. I really can't. I have things to do.

Someday I will. All right. We'll plan it out in advance next time. I'll come back after my explosive diarrhea. You're going to do that? When are you going to start? Tomorrow. You're going to start the diet tomorrow?

I think so. You're going to eat this loaf of bread and then go right in? That's exactly it. That's all. I was thinking, well, I do have another loaf at home. Your Netflix special is out right now. It is called? You're Doing Great.

You're Doing Great. You're Doing Great. Yep. Tom Papa on Instagram. Tom Papa on Twitter. Yep. Go to YouTube and look up Getting Baked with Tom Papa. Getting Baked with Tom Papa, the new series.

Always a pleasure. And then the new book. I'll see you before that comes out. Yes. Yeah. When is that going to come out? May. May.

Come here before May. All right. For sure. Tom Papa, ladies and gentlemen. You're the best. Love you, buddy. Bye. Awesome.