The Joe Rogan Experience - #143 - Jason "Mayhem" Miller, Ryan Parsons

Episode Date: September 28, 2011

Joe sits down with Mayhem Miller and Ryan Parsons.

It's going right now? This is it! The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight. If you go to joerogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. Oh boy. Buckle up, bitches,

because Mayhem Miller and our pal Ryan Parsons are here and we're gonna get down to the nitty gritty. We're going to dig deep. We're going to figure out what the fuck is going down. We're going to crack some shells and get some eggs of wisdom. Ryan Parsons, ladies and gentlemen. Ryan is a good buddy of ours and a training partner and manager and trainer of Jason Mayhem Miller. Jason Mayhem Miller is one of my good friends.

One of my good friends from the crazy world of MMA. Don't call it crazy, bro. That's like derogatory. It's derogatory? Crazy's good, son. Look at your hair, boy. Just make sure, you know. Look at your image, son.

Come on, man. You're selling the crazy that mayhem guy if you don't know who uh mayhem is he's also hosting this this season of the ultimate fighter opposite uh michael bisping and uh looks like it's going to be an exciting season then december 3rd lord have mercy december 3rd it's all going to go down for mayhem and uh michael bisping has a gold old old-fashioned fist of cuffs. They're going to get in there and take care of it. December 3rd at the Hard Rock, or no, it's the Palms, which is the best place to see fights, bro. If you've never been to the Palms.

It's going to sell out. Get your ticket. It for real will sell out quick. But if you've never been there, literally the best place in the world to see fights. The Palm, those rows, there's not a bad seat in the house. It's really pitched at a severe angle with the seats.

And the seats are right next to the cage. Gladiator Stadium. It's fucking amazing. The best seats ever, for sure, for MMA. Everybody that... You agree, Brian. You've been to a bunch of fights there, right? It's tight. It's like the perfect size. You could actually hear

every noise. Dude, it's like a private MMA fight with your friends. Even though it's like 3,000 people or 4,000 people or something in there, whatever it is,

it's the best environment for fights. It's the perfect size. I've never even been there, so I feel like I can't even say anything about it. You know you're fighting in a smaller cage.

Awesome. Yeah, it's a smaller cage. It's the WEC-sized cage. Really? Yeah yeah we use a smaller cage because it's a smaller venue it's more difficult to we don't have like you know i'm sure there's like parameters that they won't go past but the cage is not always the same size we have two cages there's a smaller cage and there's a larger cage like the king of the cage size i guess really no and the king of the cage is probably smaller yeah back in the day you watch that king of the cage is tiny right oh man it was like fighting in a phone booth i saw the guys i'm like man they were like just standing it's like one step and you're

right there on the guy that was back in the day that was janky man they oh yeah it was like literally and then shit would break and then shit like uh they had a wet and wild in the rain like i remember going out there and thinking, you know, I mean, King of the Cage is cool. But even when I was a kid, I was like, man, I don't know if I want to fight in this. So silly. I mean, I like how the regulations came where things are better now. But back in the day, it was like, ah, whatever. Oh, that's cool.

Just put some hay down. They can fight right there. But the way I always looked at it is the King of the Cage, they provided a very useful service. Oh, absolutely. They got a lot of guys' fights. I mean, even if it's kind of a weird organization, they're doing everything sketchy style on Indian casinos only. Because when they were doing it, they kept having fights even when it wasn't regulated. It was because they were having fights on these Indian casinos.

Yeah. If they weren't doing that, how many guys wouldn't have gotten gigs? How many guys wouldn't have gotten some experience? I don't think that people should fight on the water, that wet and wild king of the cage, if you've never seen it, folks. Have you ever seen it? No, but I've heard of it.

It's fucking crazy. Guys are throwing kicks and just falling on their ass. There's no way you could throw a kick. You could barely throw a punch. As you move forward, it was literally like some crazy hot oil wrestling sort of a situation. Did they only do it once?

Wet and wild. Did they only do it once? Wet and Wild. Did they only do it once? Yeah, they only did it once. But other organizations have had fights in the ring too. I know one did recently. I forget what it was, but not like this. This is the most of it. It's like snow football.

We've been through with the whole cage floor breaks. Yeah, because I was the one. Hey, Chael Stodden slammed me into the floor one time. When we were like 19, we fought way back in the day. And he slammed me. I took a double. I was like, oh, this is a good one. And he slammed me into the floor one time like when we were like 19 we fought in way back in the day and he he slammed me and took a double oh this is a good one and he slammed me into the floor the floor broke through with both of us down through the i'm like uh how do you keep fighting i know the referee it was a weird thing where we like stood back and the referee's like wait wait wait over in that corner i'm like what are they gonna do right now like i was like this is a weird situation

and then i'm sure he was thinking the same thing. I'm like, what the hell? And then the referee comes back and is like, okay, this side of the floor is broken. Just stay out of that area. And then had us fight again. I was like, all right. And then it was like a gentleman's agreement during the fight. We would circle over that way, and we both stopped kind of.

We were like, all right, over here, over here, over here. It was weird. It was like a street fight. It was like a street fight oh don't go by the metal thing don't go like that kimbo famous one with the satellite dish in the backyard it was the same spirit same spirit of all right it was gonna stay we're gonna punch each other's fucking face but watch out for that thing you know i still get asked about kimbo all the time he's like the number one fighter i get asked about. When I do weird radio stations, if I don't know the people and I call up

and they start talking about fighters, almost always, whatever happened to that Kimbo slice? That guy was the backyard brawler. What was it about him that he connected like that? He's black with a big crazy beard and he seemed cool even though he's beating the fuck out of people. He was kind of a nice guy. He shakes their

hands afterwards and he's cool. So it's like you kind of can root for him. He was Mr. T. He was Mr. T. And beats on people, man. The one fight where he let that dude punch him in the face. He was going, come on, come on. The dude was hitting him in the face.

It was legendary. It was like, god damn. I mean, if that carried over in the MMA, could you fucking imagine if he was really dominating dudes? It could have. Could have? You could have put him against dudes he could beat up. They tried, but he was such a gap in the wrestling area that he couldn't do it. It's also not like boxing.

This is my feeling on that. I don't think the guy's afraid to fight, and I don't think the guy's afraid to learn. But you can only learn so much. And I think if you're in a situation like a boxing situation, they would take a guy who's a prospect. And people who would be intelligent people that were thinking about the future would invest time and money in this guy and slowly build him up. Slowly give him the fights that he needs to make him look good, the fights that he needs to test his wrestling. Yeah, of course. But the guy's older.

The guy's older. You just got to put him right in there. Let's do this. It's also the mixed martial arts model is very different than the boxing model. The mixed martial arts model is get in there and if you get offered a shot at the title, fucking go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That makes sense. It makes it more exciting for the fans, actually. Yeah, it's like a more hectic breakneck pace. The little storyline, if you want to call it that, they go. All of a sudden, this is happening, this is happening. Oh, I'm checking out my Google. Everyone gets involved with the sport. Like Shamar Bailey. You know who Shamar Bailey is? No. The kid who was on this is happening. This is happening. Oh, I'm checking out my Google. Everyone gets involved with the sport.

Like Shamar Bailey. You know who Shamar Bailey is? No. Kid who was on The Ultimate Fighter. Oh, yeah. Really good wrestler. Very athletic kid. He gets his first fucking official fight in the UFC, Evan Dunham.

Oh, yeah. Tough guy. Evan Dunham. He was like a couple steps away from the title shot. I mean, Evan Dunham is a high level guy. And Shamar, it was a tough fucking fight, a real tough fight, because Shamar Bailey

is tough as shit, dude. The guy took a ton of punches to the face. But it was real obvious that he really shouldn't be fighting a guy at this level yet. He should be building up

to that level, right? Well, that's up to their manager, right? Yeah, it's up to their... Well, that's why I was going to ask you. How do you make that decision? How do you make that decision?

There's a decision where you've got to test him, you've got to see what happens. And then there's the other school of thought where you've got to make sure that you know exactly what level he's at. And know exactly what level the opponent's at. So you can ensure that he's going to have a long career. But you can ensure that he develops properly. How do you break that down in your head? There's so many variables there. Sokich is a great example. First off, he wasn't making any money. So he couldn't really train properly. How do you break that down in your head? There's so many variables there. Sokajou's a great example.

First off, he wasn't making any money. So he couldn't really train properly. Over a 10-week period, we had five fights fall through. People look him up and go, nope, I'm not fighting this guy. If you don't know who Sokajou is, he's a fucking crazy powerful judo dude who made a big splash in pride.

In pride, everybody thought he was like going to be the second coming when he knocked out hegerio with a wrist he like wrist him in the face i heard you say this before yeah yeah dude yeah we were talking about this weekend yeah we were talking about we were talking about uh you know tough guys that somehow or another it just didn't click for him you know they just start off real good like the the Arona fight. God damn, when he knocked out Arona. Jesus fucking Christ. It was like, who's going to stop this guy? You know, he looked like this freak athlete, man.

When he hit Arona with that uppercut and blasted him backwards to put him out, I was like, Jesus. He's a fucking threat. But then it just doesn't happen, man. He gets in there against top-level competition, and he just can't keep it together. Well, that was top-level competition, those two fights. Arona was probably a top three or four guy at that time.

Yeah, yeah, totally, yeah. Why do you think there was a big difference between when he fought in Pride and when he fought in the United States? I think that, and Jay's going to speak to this too, I think the experience of getting famous and the pressure that comes with winning big fights is a lot. And it's such a huge part of this game. Can guys deal?

Forget all the fighting stuff. Because you go into the UFC, Joe Silva is not going to, I know I've asked, he's not going to give you easy fights to go along. You go to the UFC, you have to be prepared to fight anybody. That's what makes it cool. Nobody gets brought along there. Either you're going to go make it or you're not. And we're going to find out real quick. And this is why we all get so excited about it that that is

one way to look at it but the other way to look at it is that if a fighter wanted to develop to his utmost the best way to do it would to engineer it and that someone you know would be able to you know i'm look i'm just playing devil's advocate no no obviously i support the ufc way of doing it but yeah even talking on even even talking on the ultimate fighter. Like, watch tonight. We pick the fighters. We pick the fighters. And this first episode builds up to the first fight in the house.

Now, picking the correct fight and the correct fighters, you always want to try to get your guy a path. But guess what when the competition's high there is no path necessarily you know what i mean like you want oh this guy but styles do make fights you know you want to pick two dude if you want to get your fighter to fight this dude you know because more than likely his style is gonna gonna you know prevail but you know uh mixed martial arts anything can happen you know like that night is a different night you know what i mean is can happen you know like that night is a different night

you know what I mean how frustrating is that to coaching guys what is that like for you I liked it a lot but yeah it gave me a newfound respect for Ryan's job

because I was like Ryan's just got to yell at me I was like whatever he's just fucking telling me to ground and pound like I got it bro just tell me what to do

but like once you do it you're like oh god this is my whole brain like ah like just why am i thinking about this dude in the shower like i'm just like when i'm in the shower i'm thinking about oh man i gotta teach this guy this move or i gotta make sure he does this i'm like oh why am i stressing like it's my kids it never ends yeah and then i but but man you only got to do with

one dude man you're lucky you gotta really focus on me but jason said too it's like when you start looking at styles and how these things match up go back to so could you it was a safe fight for us because he got paid decently he had no money and we were paying him every month couldn't get any fights yeah we looked at um um what's his name jerry oh it's okay he's got good boxing we're pretty confident on Soka Juice boxing. The game plan was the fight. We did that same thing over and over again for six weeks. With the thought being is you'll take him down to the ground.

Worst case scenario for him here is he'll get submitted. Well, he's not supposed to win anyways. He's not going to get hurt. He makes a bunch of money. He gets his name out there. And we thought that he was going to go win that fight too. So you start to look at who's the matchup's going to be, how those styles match up against each other, upside and downside, and weigh it out. Same with King Mo when he fought

in Sengoku the first time. Took a fight against Travis View on six days notice. Well, I knew what Mo was capable of, and Travis View wasn't a dangerous threat on his feet. He wasn't going to submit Mo from his back, go out there and shoot a double leg. In my mind there, the worst case scenario was, okay, he'll have a boring fight and he'll be labeled a boring wrestler. You know, no one wants to see him. But for what they paid him a lot of money for that fight, risk or reward, it made a lot of sense.

It's also hard for guys when they first break in from other sports too, right? I mean, how hard is it for a guy like Mo who comes in from other sports too, right? How hard is it for a guy like Moe who comes in from wrestling and is just elite at an elite level of wrestling and then now all of a sudden he's got to deal with striking. Now all of a sudden he's got to deal with shit that maybe he's not as good at as his

key moves. It just depends on the guy. Jason might speak that better than I can. What? I don't even know what the hell you guys are talking about. I just want to dance, Joe Rogan.

I just want to dance. Don't we all, Steve? Right? Like, just out of nowhere. I just wanted to get, look,

I just, it's very rare that anybody gets into the mindset of a manager, someone who trains fighters and someone who coaches guys. It's a very intimate

relationship that you guys have. Man, are you kidding me? It is. This guy's like my brother. I want to beat him up all the time, but I want to hug him all the time, too. If it wasn't him, it wouldn't be you, right? Yeah, exactly.

It's an odd match. Huh? It's an odd match, but it's funny most of the time. It's funny. It's a reality show, The Ultimate Fighter, season 14. For you, Ryan, I've known you for years, man. It's got to be a maddening job at times, right? I like the chaos of it.

It's how my brain works. What I finally discovered I'm really good at is taking a whole bunch of shit, putting it together, and making it all work really well. Yeah, he's pretty good at that. So think of what MMA does. And especially for Jason, I have a huge creative side. So especially in Japan, you get to sometimes— Whatever, you do it here too, bro. We have cool creative outs where we just like where we just like oh hey dude what about this

idea go look at mayhemmonkeys.com that's right oh yeah mayhemmonkeys.com that's the latest one i really respect your opinion on mma and when you and i have conversations about stuff i don't think we ever disagree it's very very rare like occasionally like if we do it's because i'm hating and don't want to admit something yet. To John Jones when you finally gave in on John Jones. You gotta give in. He's a badass.

I'll admit when I'm wrong. That's a superman. That's the Ubermunch. That's a dude who's just on another level. That's ridiculous shit. You do that to Mayhem after you're fucking training for four years. Yeah, he's pretty bad. I mean, not Mayhem, rather.

Shit, not me. I didn't fight him. I know, Rampage Mayhem, that's pretty damn easy. When you look at a guy like that, that's why you want to stay at 185. Yeah, he's a tough-ass bastard. He cuts down from a good amount of weight.

He looks sucked down at the weigh-in, and then he looks swole the next day. I'm like, wow, that's a good weight cut. He does a good job of cutting weight. And he's fucking and he's yeah he's a beast i mean but he's like a big long dude like he does like weird lanky guy shit at 205 yeah oh man thank you bro i was getting annoyed at my voice you finally microphones down here though where that's remember when that shit i was telling you and you were like oh this is the most boring thing you've ever said in your life oh yeah, yeah. What was that about? That was me telling the microphones down.

Where is it? Where's the microphone? Before the show started, I was showing him where the microphone was. No, but you said it like this. You were like a robot. That was the most boring shit I've ever heard in my life. He was like, I even started singing Super Mario Brothers. So you're saying I should spice it up a little?

Yeah, you got to spice it up. No, but this is how he was talking. He was like, hey, guys, okay, so a ring out. This is a different level of ADD you're dealing with. Yeah, right? This level of ADD. The microphone is down at the bottom. You have to grip it like it's a cock and just start sucking the ball.

Oh, wow. Why did you cut both balls? I look experienced. It turned me on a little bit. Oh, bro, I could talk like this anyway. Yeah, Lord have mercy. That's right. Lord have mercy.

Okay, let's try to pretend that people are actually listening. Whatever. People are listening. Squirt bottles sometimes, I think. You two together make one awesome dude. You better figure out how to combine your minds. That's right. You're actually kind of like girls I like to date, though.

Big crazy bitches? Very insane. Prone to being arrested? Huge ladies. Oh, really? You want to date my sister? Are you holding it sideways like a gangster now? Yeah, I'm like gangster lady.

I just like that I spit vibes into this mic. Sorry, Joe Rogan looks hurt. You're Joey Diaz-ing him. Am I? Why? Why? What's the matter? It's not that bad.

It's not that bad. Mad flavors stay black. Joey Diaz will get mad at you for not having pencils. You don't have fucking pencils in your house? Joe Rogan, how the fuck do you write something down? He'll find something. I know. He will not be able to let it go.

You got to let him just ride out that storm and crash that. You don't have fucking pencils in your house. No, the first time he did it, to me, I was confused. I was like, are you really angry or are you joking? I was like, are you joking? Are you really angry? I was like, oh, shit, he's really angry right now about something stupid. But no, just for a moment, he just goes into a blast.

I understand that dude a little bit. I feel like he's awesome. Yeah, he's just got to let it out sometimes. Yeah, just scream in your car in traffic for no reason. Just scream to the top of your lungs. All the most fun people are crazy. You just got to figure out what their crazy is and maneuver around it. Try to let them know.

You know that's there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Okay. Keep your crazy thought. Hey, Joe, I interviewed Brody today. Brody Stevens? Brody Stevens He walked us through

Me and Esther At home? At your house? Yeah and we went through the whole entire thing From start to finish For folks who don't know Why don't you explain what happened Because Brody Stevens is our friend

I know about this This is crazy Tell us what happened Brody pretty much got sick When he was performing And he decided to take medicine to help Like strep throat and a couple of things. And he took,

stopped taking his other medicine, which was Lexapro. And, uh, he came back to the United States, uh, you know, was still sick,

still taking antibiotics, but wasn't taking his medication. And then started to go on the, he, he, he went on TMZ and hosted TMZ for a week and he, or a day. And he,

so he was on TMZ as the host. He took over Harvey's spot for the day. And then the next day, he was having all this positive energy about being on tour on TMZ. And he started to go to people at Starbucks that were angry or mean or had negative energy and would call

them out on their shit. And then there was a video where he called out a gangbanger kid that was hanging out in front of 7-eleven scaring girls and so there's a video of him filming like using his phone filming like hey motherfucker leave stop freaking out girls and screaming at this gang like he was pretty much attacking negative people and what happened is it got kind of spinned out of control he was having a manic episode and he got committed into a hospital he weighed time out he was negative people were they all negative or is he just like you know what i mean

like people complicated characters it's it's very interesting we went really into detail and because the key one of the things he went to starbucks and did it like where this guy was like like well i think when you're saying negative people it's just what brody thought exactly like some people could just be a dude trying to get a fucking cup of coffee looking like a gangster. We're establishing that Brody went crazy. Yeah, pretty much. I know, but he said it like it wasn't that crazy. You've got to understand this. No, no, no.

Let me finish. What I said is that if I was at Starbucks and you just started talking to me saying, hey, I like your shoes and stuff, I might not have said what made him go crazy, what the guy said to him, which was, please don't talk to me. I would have said, kind of amused it for a while and then stopped talking or kind of ignored him. But he, it was very interesting to listen to and now he's on, changed his

medication and now he seems like a very relaxed, kind of like he's dissecting himself character. And so we did this really cool interview today. It's going to be up later tonight. Really? I can't wait to look at this because I'm really interested in this. Because for me, like, man, mental illness is the most interesting thing on earth.

I mean, everyone has some form or some variance of the normal human beings. And to see this kind of thing, like, to see, like, where this guy had this super creative burst of like you know i mean what is that you know like that's that's crazy that uh that we don't think about that more you know what i mean like a lot of people can if you're smart and have a mental illness you you can shift the world into a different way of thinking i have a theory about that i have a theory about human behavior in general when it comes to that i think one of the reasons why we're so unstable i think it's almost engineered to make sure that we keep moving and that more things get done. Because I think that when things are stable and when people are at rest and at peace and calm, not much gets done.

Like mutations. Yeah, I think one of the reasons why people fuck their own lives up, it's like there's almost like a pull. Like the universe has a pull for you to fuck up, just so you keep making mistakes and keep moving things in the same direction. Make sure that things keep moving. Your relationship's always going to fuck up. Your jobs are always going to fuck up. There's always going to be chaos. There's always going to be things that go wrong, constantly.

And it's because that's the only way things stay moving. The only way things stay moving is you have to be flexible and pliable as the world falls apart all around you. Your success is dependent on how you deal with that. Yes, exactly. I was just having this discussion last night.

It's inevitable. You either sink or swim. You're going to hit the bad lottery sometimes and get robbed outside your hometown. That can happen. I think that we're programmed to do that. No, but I'm saying that bad stuff, you're going to hit the lottery sometimes, but you've just got to power through and just drive through this negative stuff, this negative stop on your road. Learn from everything.

I'm convinced one part of self-destruction, not the whole part, that one part is if you're not growing or progressing in life, you do something to create that chaos where you have to do something to break through. Absolutely. Wow, yeah, that's a good way to say it. You and I have had that conversation a couple of times before, and I always admire the way you see it. And it really is that you will

set yourself up. You will give yourself shit to think about. Now, what you do with that is depend on do you crash like your friend did, or do you use that for awareness and growth, and your life goes to a new place? You really can't ever stop growing. You can't. If you think you've stopped growing, you're going to fuck yourself.

If you say, this is it. I'm done. I'm just not even going to think about things anymore. I'm not going to try. I'm just going to relax. You're going to get cancer. Damn. Some shit's going to go wrong.

Damn it. Everything's going great for me. You've got to keep moving. I think I'm just going to get married, have some dogs, just chill out a little. Nope. You've got cancer, bitch. You're going to get bored, and you're going to die. just chill out a little. Nope. You got cancer, bitch. You're going to get bored and you're going to die. You've got to keep moving.

You've got to excite yourself. You've got to stimulate shit. You know what I'm going to start doing? I'm going to start going fishing. Why? Really? Because I don't go fishing and people are fucking into it. And I went to Lake Estate the other day and they're catching 25-pound striped bass.

And I'm like, I want to catch a fucking 25-pound striped bass. Boom. More excitement. More good stuff. That's what you've got to do, man. You've got to keep shit fucking 25-pound striped bass. Boom. More excitement. More good stuff. That's what you've got to do, man. You've got to keep shit moving. The smart people choose it, though. Yes.

Well, you've got to kind of engineer your consciousness to a certain extent. Or to a certain extent. There's a lot of people that purposely surround themselves with exciting things. They're like, fuck, I want life to be exciting. I want to go even dumb shit. I want to go run with the bulls you know running with the bulls is a perfect example of how people will insert excitement into their life that makes absolutely no sense i get it too yeah i've never done it and i probably would my thing if i was there and i was hammered and i was

pretty sure i could fucking run fast i might do it i might do no i might not no i wouldn't do it i would get real close and then i think ultimately i'd like I'd hear the bulls, and I'd go, what the fuck am I doing? I'd climb a wall. Whatever, bro. You wouldn't? I would run. Whatever.

You would. I could hold you there. I would be like, no, dude, bro, let's just do it. Let's just do it. You probably could hold me, and I would ask you to please not. I'd be like, just wait until we at least see the bulls. Run over by a bull. They're coming.

They're coming. Bro, you're not even wearing a red sack. Who runs faster? You or a bull? I would have to say a bull. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, but you got to fucking dodge. That's the whole thing.

Jump out into the street. Yeah, you got to jump or run away from it. I've seen some people that didn't dodge though, man. And that shit looks so unfun. But that's the point. You don't want to be that guy. I understand. Right?

Sometimes it's going to happen, but you just don't want to be that guy. It's like skydiving or bungee jumping. And if you did, you just don't want to be that guy. It's like skydiving or bungee jumping. And if you did, you probably won't die. And you'll just have a scar and be like, yo, I got hit by a bull. Like, whatever. It would be badass.

Either way, you slice it. Do you ever see that one video of the bull just throwing the dude around like a rag doll on a cobblestone street? Yeah, I've seen some nasty ones. They stab him in the ass. The guy's head's just flying up and bonking down.

Why is he unconscious? Knocking down on the stones. Joe Rogan has a fear of animals. Over and over again. It's irrational. It's irrational. A friend of mine from Colorado, our friend Casey Atchison, just sent us a picture of a mountain lion, a jacked deer near his house. I know, but that happens all the time.

A 150-pound cat and a dead thing that runs way faster than you or I. Watch his face, Ryan. He's so into it when he's talking about it. He gets so... He views... He can see the claws coming at him. I can tell that you know why? I've eaten a pot and gone to the zoo a bunch of times.

That's why. Oh, really? Yeah. Imagination goes wild. When you're actually there with the animal... There's one thing like watching DVDs when you're baked. That's important you know it's huge yeah but watching uh real animals like a real animal in person when you're high that's you get a you get a completely different insight when you actually see a tiger it's right there and you're looking at it and you're looking at its paws and you're looking at its body and you're thinking of an american house cat and how

fucking badass those little things are. I mean, if a 25-pound house cat wanted to kill you, you'd be terrified. You'd be fucking running like crazy. But a fucking 500-pound tiger, man. And when you get really baked and you're like right next to that animal, it's almost as close to that animal attacking you as you can get. What, standing on the other side of the glass? Bullshit.

It's as close as you can get without Standing on the other side of the glass? Bullshit. It's as close as you can get without dying or getting attacked. People do that on Wild Kingdom all the time. I'm saying, bro. That's what Wild Kingdom was on the air. I know. That's what I said. Museum of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Remember that?

I remember the reruns on Saturday morning and shit. I remember that. No, but I just feel like those animals from a different planet, I don't have that fear like, oh, my God, this thing could kill me. I just think, man, look at this thing. I know that I'm far enough away from all that stuff. So I totally take away and go, man, this looks like it's from a different planet or a different time. Like a giraffe.

Yeah. like it's from a different planet or a different time like a uh a giraffe yeah it looks when you look close at it you're like that thing is alien because it has like weird like you know on tv you just don't think about it but when you see it up close you realize that this thing is from a completely different place i don't get it from giraffes i get from crocodiles yeah of course yeah of course well they're from a different time just like when we were in the city we were in sydney we went to that little little zoo thing that was right across. Taronga Zoo? Yeah.

We went to see that giant crocodile there. You saw that crocodile, didn't you? We went to one on the Gold Coast. Jesus Christ, that thing was fucking terrifying. How big was it? The one they had was only like 18 feet or something like that. That's a big-ass lizard. They get to be like 30 feet, 28 feet.

Those things are giant, man. When I lived in North queensland there was a crocodile in the wildlife park there with him he had lost all of his teeth due to fighting so they go because their brains are so small they go they sit on their backs and you know they tickle them they do all because they're real predictable so the guy takes a wooden stick and he hits the concrete then he whacks the crocodile over the nose with it and the sound was identical so one time there's one time his daughter went in there and this was a huge you no way you could wrap your arms around him she slipped and fell came across bit her across her leg all of her adductor muscles her legs shattered

adductor muscles just spring up they're gone she turns it bites her then across the pelvis everything is she had 23 surgeries or something. Her dad jumped over the fence and started beating the crocodile, which is the only way that she got out of there. That's with a crocodile with no teeth. Wow. They turned her leg to jello. That's weird. Can you imagine that?

I knew. Why do you have to tell Joe Rogan this story? Now look at him. He's even more scared of animals now. I know, man. I'm not going to Florida. There's no way. USC, Florida? No. There's alligators around there. No, we's no way. USC, Florida?

No. There's alligators around there. No, we're not doing the USC in Florida, Dana. No, Dana. Alligators. I lived in Florida, man. I used to feed them. I lived in Gainesville.

We used to go to the... There's a little pond there, and we would feed them. I think it was called Lake Alice. And we would go there, and we would feed these fucking alligators. They were everywhere. They ate a lady's dog while I was there once. Nice. Did you see that?

No, I didn't see it. there darn it right when people were yelling and screaming though alligator came up and jacked this lady's dog now apparently it did probably happen like you know what's crazy about alligators is that they're like such a good form of life that that same basic pattern of evolution has been there for ever yeah you know what i mean like and uh here's an animal like this that will live in these areas that is just made of armor and just has one thing, a bite. That's it.

They're efficient. From what they do, they're super efficient. I don't understand exactly how reptiles work. I'll just tell the truth. Here's the big thing with crocodiles. They don't have to eat for a year. That's what I'm saying. They just sit there and get money. Get money? They sit there and get money. Get money. Get money. They're sitting there getting money from the sun.

Getting paid from water buffalo bitches up in the water hole. Watch that sound. Snap, it's my teeth. You on the ground. Oh, the crocodile rap, bro. MC Croc. Yo, yo. That's my new crocodile LP about to drop.

Biting bitches by the waterhole. Biting bitches by the waterhole. That's how we do. Biting bitches by the waterhole. I'm coming for you. Hey. There's a fucking awesome video of a giant crocodile jacking a wildebeest from a waterhole. This fucking wildebeest has to be, I don't know six hundred pounds i mean how big is that baby one the baby one no no no no no

no no no the baby my friend it was a regular full-size one this fucking it's a slow crocodile slow motion comes out it's enormous i mean it's fucking about so big. It wraps a hold of that wildebeest and just whack. Just ragdolls that bitch into the water and pulls it under. And it's like, God damn. Watch any alien movie. Watch any monster movie. That's way scarier than any shit I ever saw Predator do. Just grabs this wildebeest, snaps a hold of it, and whips it into the water.

That is like something from fucking Star Wars. I don't know, dude. Predator kept your head, bro. And your spine. And they did have lasers. Yeah, yeah, lasers, yeah. Crocodile scarier. They can hold their breath

underwater for over an hour. They just go underwater and just lay down. Predator can go invisible, dude. That's good. Oh, shit, man. Dude, I miss old movies. Why can't they be cool like that anymore it's tough to get a good movie these days i feel like if they did it all youtube footage of like fucking the predator

being like on youtube maybe that would help you know and i think it's eventually going to come down to technology is going to get to a point where an individual person can make their own movie like you're going to be able to make your own movie with your computer you could probably pretty gum pretty good you could do it now what do you mean but I'm saying with like special effects and like like cameras will be so cheap film be so cheap hard drives be so cheap computers be so cheap and the programs that you are publicly available to regular amateurs for making movies and putting special effects we're gonna eventually get to this incredibly heightened state

where you're gonna be able to make a fucking Avatar movie on your own. If you're smart. Yeah, and not yet. If you're smart, fuck yeah, but it's not yet. But when that happens, then you're going to see the most amazing movies ever. Because there won't be so many fucking roadblocks to making an awesome movie. It'll just be your brain pops right onto a DVD.

I don't know, you still need a team of people. Yeah, right. I feel like at this point... You do need a team, you do need a team. But what you don't need is a bunch of people with money telling you what to do in your movie. And that's what happens. I've seen it over and over again.

It's a weird thing, man, when a bunch of people who are not creative at all want to influence the creative process. And that's what fucks movies up. That's what fucks TV shows up. That's what fucks stand-up comedians up. Well, but couldn't you say that also that relationship between people who cock-block the creativity? And don't you think that that has developed this? that relationship between people who cock block the creativity. And that, don't you think that that has developed this? You think if everyone was a creative dude and not a dork doing the crunching numbers?

Oh, I completely agree. You know what I'm saying? If everybody was a creative dude, this would be a fucking lazy ass town. You're so right. You know what I'm saying? It would be like,

you need a dorky dude to go, okay, this, this, and this, and this. And so you need that. We need a dorky dude to sell it. Yeah, exactly. You don't need a dorky dude to create, okay, this, this, and this, and so you need that. We need a dorky dude to sell it.

Yeah, exactly. You don't need a dorky dude to create it. No, I know, but if they don't cockblock you at some time, they feel like they're worthless. Yeah, but that's not your fault. That's why shows that work the best shows are the shows where they can't say shit, like South Park. South Park is so good. Oh, they still

say shit. Comedy Central, every now and then they say they can't make a cartoon where they draw Muhammad they'll say shit like that because they don't want to get firebombed that's like the worst thing they've ever done

I mean I don't think they have any influence in the creative process do you? nah I mean from what I see Brian you know them you know those guys right?

do you think that Comedy Central has anything? no no they pretty much do whatever they want yeah because they've been so successful for so long

that show is so buck wild you know nobody I love that show that's so buck wild. I love that show. That's like the best show. You know what? That show is the best ever on social commentary right now because they do it six days out. Those guys are the most amazing dudes in show business, in my opinion. Yeah, I agree. Plus, they just won nine Tony Awards.

And the only reason I know what a Tony Award is because of these guys is a Broadway musical award yeah they won nine of those I'm like man those guys are geniuses they're brilliant and I and I this crazy cuz they they've been like a little team for so long yeah you know since I since college days so those guys have just been blinked into each other's brain for so long and they got just such a good partnership today you know they don't fuck each other over on anything it's crazy man it's like they's like they, you know, it's great to see that. You know, neither one of them lost their head. And that's rare when you get a couple dudes together.

Yeah, there had to be some fucking. Is it two guys? Stone and Trey Parker. Yeah, yeah. Those are the two guys. Those are the geniuses behind South Park. Yeah, so. They probably hate people saying that.

Nah, I think, yeah. I think they're like, whatever. You know the South Park guys to the normal person. It means, oh, South Park. Yeah, I know that show. But people who really. You know the South Park guys to the normal person. It means, oh, South Park. Yeah, I know that show. But people who really know the South Park guys are awesome. Come on, man. Team America.

I know. That was genius. I never laughed harder. That was like a stand-up. Right? You know when a stand-up comic is killing? Yeah. Me too.

You know that feeling? That was how hard I was laughing at that movie. I was like, this is the best movie of all time. Yeah. I'm really interested, though, with South Park to see what they're going to do this season because the last one of the last season was like almost it felt like the last episode of the

whole thing. What was it? There was a divorce. What's his name? Stan's dad got a divorce. They were divorcing. Stan was moving out of South Park and they just made the whole episode seem like it was over. Maybe they're getting bored. They want to do something new.

Whatever the fuck they do, I don't care. I'll watch it. What if they start and they're all 21 years old? They're all grown up. That would be funny. I'd love it. They would open up a whole new set of jokes about being teenagers.

I would open up a whole new set. Are you guys leaking inside info right now? No. Like, just saying it seemed like such a good idea that I hope that that's not what it is. Maybe they're listening right now. My friends are all fired. But they listen to Joe Rogan. Oh, no.

Can you imagine if you got in trouble? You just took a wild guess. The fuck? You told him. He didn't guess that. Nobody guesses that. Who the fuck would do that? Those guys can do whatever they want.

They have such a loyal group of fans and followers. I'll watch anything they do. There's nothing those guys put out there. There's some things that I'll ignore. There's certain movies I need to go see. I haven't seen the Pineapple Express yet. What? Go see that, man.

No, it's awesome. I've got it on DVD. Everybody says it's awesome. I haven't seen it. But if a South Park movie comes out, I'm seeing that shit. I'm seeing that shit opening weekend. Wait, they have one coming out? No, but if there was... I haven't seen it. If a South Park movie comes out, I'm seeing that shit. I'm seeing that shit opening weekend. Wait, they have one coming out? No, but if there was...

I got to be all hot and bothered for a South Park movie. I saw Drive last night. Oh, really? Man, I was going to go see it. Now you're going to ruin it for me. No, I don't want to ruin it. No spoilers. I liked it. I liked it. It's a real interesting movie, man. It's very...

I don't know how to describe it without giving a lot of the plot away. But it's a interesting movie, man. It's very... I don't know how to describe it without giving a lot of the plot away, but it's a weird movie, man. The guy plays this really detached sort of stunt car driver who gets hired to do bank robberies and shit. He gets hired to be the getaway driver. I'm liking it. It's a fucking... It's a good script.

It's a good movie. There's a lot of good shit in it. There's a few what the fuck scenes, but that's how you wrap up a movie. Really? Wait, what the fuck scene? What the fuck are they doing? Come on. When someone does something like, someone's been cautious the whole film, and then

there's a more inconvenient scene where the guy gets to get him because he's turned his back to him like a noob. I hate unrealistic. That's annoying. I know that you're just trying to wrap up a movie right quick. Why are you packing it up, man? I still got 90 minutes. 90 minutes in here.

People's asses start getting sore. Let's wrap this fucker up. There's a lot of movies like that where you're halfway in the movie. You're like, wait, what? The fuck are you ending this like that? Like that movie, the Bradley Cooper movie, Limitless. Oh, I like that movie. I like that movie, too bradley cooper movie um oh i like that movie i like that movie too i liked it up until the end where all of a sudden he's like well i engineered

the effects out now i'm fucking awesome i know yeah i was like oh i wanted to see him drugged out and shit like i can't get off this shit it was a cheap way to end it it was like oh i fixed it i fixed it now it's awesome forever but what could be that what could be the alternative really though what is that come on there's a billion alternatives and no i'm in a number of different bizarre now it's awesome forever but what could be the alternative really though what could be come on there's a billion alternatives in an infinite number of different bizarre directions

if something goes shitty at the end of that awesome movie it didn't have to be shitty man it didn't have to be shitty but you wouldn't come away like I came away like man that movie was great and tell people it was great

because I had a good feeling about it I think what could have been real interesting is towards the end he could have started having psychotic episodes where he woke up at different stages of his life at different days it different things oh one day one day it was him

before the pills and he was all fucked up the next day it's him running the company and he doesn't know which one it is every day he wakes up in a different that would make a long ass you could do that back and forth with a few scenes over a course of 10-15 minutes and freak people the fuck out and then it goes to black. That guy just fried his fucking noggin. Joe Rogan presents Limited. He OG'd on Limitless Pills and woke up in between worlds.

That's how I would end it. But I smoke weed, bitch! Do you say you watch Breaking Bad? Yeah, I love that show. I just started it. Everybody's mad at me because I was quoting something about how much I liked an episode. It was the first season. That's what I watched.

I watched it on the DVD. I didn't watch it live. So I'm still, I'm way behind. I watch it when I get tattooed. And I haven't been tattooed in a few months. I just saw the first episode. And the first episode starts you off quick. My Miyamoto Musashi sleeve.

Is that new? Yeah, this one's like two years old. I know. I always, I'm like, man, like i've got some cool tattoos i always look back and i'm always like man i'm sorry i didn't get any tattoos you can still get them listen you know some some people like them some people don't the way i look at it is like skin looks cool but i like art better i like art on my skin you know as long as you trust the artist and you have an idea it's really good like the guy that i go to aaron de la vadova is fucking awesome man he does

he specializes in like really big beautiful pieces i mean he's just a i'm a fan of his artwork like if you go to his studio where he tattoos he's got all his paintings and shit around and how cool is that guy yeah dude he's awesome he's gonna do the podcast too when have you ever thought like when you're 80 years old though and if you don't get it touched up you're just gonna have rainbow arms no matter what right who gives a fuck i'm gonna look like an 80 year old, though, and if you don't get it touched up, you're just going to have rainbow arms. When you're 80 years old, you look like shit no matter what. Yeah, right? Who gives a fuck? I'm going to look like an 80-year-old dude who did some crazy shit.

That's all right. You'll be in bed by 6.30 anyways. Yeah, I'll be in bed by 6.30 with my square sleeves. Yeah, you're not hanging out on the corner. They're going to call you Rainbow Break. I'm going to be like Joey Diaz when I'm 80. Just fucking, just going balls out until the fucking wheels fall off. But, yeah,

I got to get him to finish this thing. Man, I met somebody who's like Uncle Louie or something or Uncle George. Wait, Uncle Benny. Uncle Benny? Uncle Benny? Man, he had like old school tattoos

from like the Sailor days. Yeah, those are the best. Like Ed Hardy, before that shit was Ed Hardy. Like the real, the real old time. And man, then he stole the knife

at Thanksgiving. It was weird. He just got like. He stole a knife? Yeah, he was like, where's the knife? And then he was walking around the house with the knife in his hand. I was like, man, somebody get Uncle Benny. Eek.

There's nothing creepier than a drunk person with a knife in their hand. No, but he wasn't even. He was like 90. He's just senile. He wasn't even drunk. He was just like... The only thing Cooper is if it's Mayhem's uncle.

Yeah. I was with Chris McGuire once. Me and Chris McGuire, we were hanging out with this dude. There's a dude that used to own the comedy improv in Tempe. And there was a dude who was friends with the owner,

took us to his bar. We're all hanging out at his bar. We're going to go back to his house. And he said, by the golf course up. Beautiful. We're going to just have a party at this guy's place. So we're like, eh, seems like a cool guy. We all go back.

Go back with a bunch of his friends and all these different people. Well, it turns out to be like 1 o'clock in the morning. And the guy is shit-faced beyond. Like, you can't even make eye contact with homeboy. And he's walking around with a pair of scissors. Nah! Because he wants everybody to leave his house except this one girl and the girl was like 19 years old and she was like please don't leave me here please don't leave me here like this guy was like running

around his house kicking these people out that he just invited in with a pair of scissors it was one of those moments was me and chris mcguire was with me is he on your facebook that guy yeah we're besties now. I mean, we got through this little dark moment with him trying to stab people for 19-year-old rape pussy. That's a big one. He's going to rape this girl. And the girl looked at us and she goes, please don't leave me here with him. We're like, we're not going to leave you here.

You're coming with us. And we had to argue with the guy. We got to say, look, dude, she wants to leave with everybody else. We got to let her go. Is this before you left? Before you left? No, there's one other couple that was watching this from the living room.

We were close enough to get stabbed. I'm saying, but what's the deal? I think some people, I've seen it happen more than once. Some people, whatever it is, whether it's alcohol or drugs, there's some things that they take that make them

snap over and they're Gonsville. You see that glassy-eyed look in their eyes. They're not really there. Their rational, conscious mind has completely shut off. I've seen it with alcohol. Really? Yes, alcoholics.

I have a friend who's an alcoholic, and every time he gets drunk, you're very likely to see a different version of him. Really? And he's very, very likely to be someone who you can't even recognize. You barely know what to expect from them. They're going to say crazy shit to people. They're going to get in trouble. They're going to start fights.

They don't even know who the fuck they are. They don't know who they are. I've seen it. I used to think it was bullshit. I used to think, you know what, it's just weak people that are just, you know, they don't want to take responsibility for their actions. So they go, oh, man, I blacked out. Oh, man, i just got so

fucked up i don't know what i'm doing i don't get that because i don't get that drunk i get drunk but i'm me drunk i don't snap over some people do though they fucking for sure do man i've seen it and i know you've probably seen it too they dance with the devil and all of a sudden they are the devil moonlight yes you know there's some people, there's a different, you know, like some people say, man, I can't smoke pot. Okay, I understand. There's people that can't drink. They fucking can't.

They just can't. Yeah. Everybody has their own biological thing. You know, there's a reason why some people are allergic to peanuts. You know, some people it's, you know, it's fucking tuna fish. You know, there's weird things that, you know, make people's bodies react. I can get it, man. I can get it.

Man, he's hammered on tuna fish. That guy is such a dick. Right? Like, fucking every time he drinks the juice out the can, like, pushes it in there. I don't think if you were allergic, it would make you hammered. Yeah. I don't know how you made that, but. Have you ever seen a.

God bless you and your connections. Have you ever seen a list of, like, things that you're not supposed to give dogs that are completely poisonous to dogs? Yeah. I heard grapes. But there's things on there like grapes. No, I'm calling bullshit on grapes, bro. I think I gave a dog a grape. Yeah, my pit bull used to eat grapes like crazy.

Yeah, they were like... I don't know. I think someone started that internet fucking rumor for no reason. I went through a dog poisoning recently, so I was given a list of things not to give your dog. And there were some things on there that I just would never have thought of. Things like, I can't even remember, but it was something weird like that. Grapes or nuts.

There's some, like if you give certain kinds of nuts that are killed. I think that's why they're allergic to chocolate. It's the cocoa. Here's another thing. Did you know plums or anything that has a core in the middle of it is really, really poison? If you have trash and the dog's going through the trash, a lot of times they like to chew on the core of a plum or a peach.

Are you trying to say... Did they kill them? Yeah. It's got a chemical in it that's completely... Those are only bitch dogs. Are you trying to say that you killed your ex it's got Like a chemical in it That's completely Those are only bitch dogs Are you trying to say That you killed Your ex-girlfriend's dog?

No no I'm not saying That happened at all But Well hey But I gave my dog Some plum It didn't matter

Plums aren't killing dogs too Yeah It has like a thing In the middle of it Dogs eat their own shit I think we would've heard of that Right Everybody would know

By now Dogs eat their own shit And then run the quarter mile Way faster than you could ever dream of Well usually if they get sick usually if they get sick or eat something they usually throw it up so but they'll still act quick a dog can run the quarter mile after eating three or four large mouthfuls of shit a dog can fucking fly man yeah you're right fly oh you can't even fucking hope to keep up with that shit-eating dog.

Mouthful of fucking shuck. Shit breath and shit smeared over his shitty gums. Shit on his lips and he's running like a bullet. With no problems. Your pantomime is on point, dude.

That's exactly how it would be pumping right there. Yeah. You can't fucking four legs. You can't fucking four legs. Four legs of fury and fecal matter in his face.

Yeah, because it's an exponentially faster animal. Four legs. There's a whole body whip effect. They get a lot going on that we don't have. My hot dog dog can jump. I bet.

He's like, no, His whole body springs up. You told me this story of you got in a physical fight with your Mastiff once. Your Mastiff attacked you. We fought for 30 seconds. 30 seconds? How big was it?

150 pounds. A Neo. That's a little bigger than my dog right how did this shit unfold yeah was it playing and then just you know what it was it was we were young it was 23 24 years old you got four or five we had joy we know i was like wait you and the massive were young i was like, wait. I've made mistakes in the past. I know. I was like, well, you got a bad time that day. But we were on a bad time that day. It was. We had children. Season's in the sun.

One day, I just gave him his food, and I eye-contacted him, and it was on. You know, I should have known, man. He's a dog. You can't eye-contact him and challenge his space while you're giving him food. Don't look at him. He's your food, bitch. You can't eye contact him and challenge his space while you're giving him food. Don't look at him. He's your food, bitch. You don't do that. You give the dog, you pat him on the back, and you walk away. Always make contact with the dog while he's eating his food so he's comfortable

with that. He doesn't think you're going to steal food from him when you touch him. That's what keeps it. When some dogs, you touch them when they're eating and they turn on you. So what was the catalyst? What started off the brawl? Dan Henderson had a intact pitbull who lived with us and they fought probably 20 times oh my god the day the day that at one point like i'm just like you guys like how many matches have to go off before because i have that's

we can't we got to get rid of the dog like one dog's got to go i love pitbulls but i laugh my ass off when people tell me they're not dangerous. They're built to kill. What are you talking about? I love them. They're my favorite dogs of all time. But if you've had pit bulls, you know they're dangerous as fuck. It doesn't matter how much you train them.

Yeah, either they're just lying to themselves or trying to lie to you to make them feel better about it. I have a pit bull that I trust. I don't care how much you trained it. If it has its and to mail how i trust it around another dog right i just know that yeah i don't i don't especially if the other dog has its balls especially if the other dog's a male and it gets even a little frisky especially if it's a neo yeah they're a fighting breed yeah some big crazy dog so they both had Wow, you're a danger zone. That's two wild monsters. We had two wild animals.

I got so good at stopping a dog fight that I could actually pin both of them down. I bet your wrestling really came into play. Think about it. If you were a guy who didn't know how to use your body weight and pin things down, did you get underhooks on your dog? I had a whole technique.

I had a knee on belly on one or better, knee on throat. I'd pin the other one down. Sometimes, most of the time, I needed help. So I would just start calling for whoever was there. Then you had to go reach in each dog's mouth and open them, which isn't that hard to do, actually. Really? Not at all. That's why I'm not at all afraid of dogs.

God, that's so scary. No, it's really not. The clamp down though. Once you open it, they shut down on your fingers. God damn, son. But even that,

they only have one weapon. You know it's coming. Yes, but still, it can get you. That's like the Dan Henderson right hand. I'm with Brian on this one. That's like the Dan Henderson

right hand. Even if they get you, you have to shove it into their mouth. Yes, you do. And then if it got really bad, I'd just start poking eyes. Hopefully they have a collar.

I choked my dog out when I was trying to kill my cat once with his collar. I got knee on belly, and I choked him out. I put him asleep, and he went out. Wait, with his collar? Yeah, with his collar. Did you cross your hands? I did a Zikio choke my friend. I got inside.

I put him in one hand like this. He clocked him. He clocked him. My position, very good. Make close. Look here. Make note here. I put the knee to belly, and I turn. I turn. Oh one hand like this. He clocked them. He clocked them. My position, very good. Make nose. Look here. Make note here. I put the finito belly.

And I turn. I turn. Oh, he go out. The dog is sleeping good now. Plum pits have cyanide in them. And grapes cause kidney failure in dogs. Whoa. Wait.

So you're telling me if I ate plums in the middle of it, I would die? Listen to this, man. I would die? It depends how much you eat. A dude that I work with. I'm sorry. A dude that I work with. Before I i do that i work with this is gonna i gotta before i forget this guy his mom died from fucking tylenol this mom got liver poisoning as her mom she died because he she was taking tylenol which has like

whatever the fuck the chemical it has and it also exists in some other cold medication that she was taking she was taking the two of them at the same time, and she had fucking liver failure. Oh, that's that strong? Yes. Oh, yeah? Did you know that that was even possible? Every drug you can die from. It's mixing certain things.

A lot of times if you look on something and say, don't take whatever that chemical is in Tylen I think it's like... Yeah. We have your input. It's like ask the fame. 100,000 people a year die from appropriately prescribed medication. We know it just surpassed car accidents. Did it? Yeah, most recently prescription drugs have surpassed car accidents for accidental deaths for the first time ever.

Because they don't do... Especially when people take... You take five drugs, you have about 100% chance of having an adverse reaction to it. No one did peer review study good double blind controlled studies on those four or five drugs together.

That's why I only take AlphaBrain and nothing else. Onnit.com. I've got to plug your shit. Seriously, Joe. It works. Let me plug it shit. Yeah, seriously, Joe. I got to plug your word. It works, man. Let me plug it properly because this thing, okay, I really wanted to hate on you. I'm just going to tell the truth.

You know what I mean? Because I did the cool guy shit, and I went online, and I bought all my, you know, kind of what you got in there separately. And I'm like, okay, this is a good mix for me. But I don't know, dude. I took that stuff, and, man, I smashed people at video games yesterday. I mean, that's my gold standard. My brain was focused. I was watching the video games close.

I was like a robot. Do you feel it's like Adderall? I feel like it's like a mild Adderall. I don't feel like I'm on anything, but I feel so focused. I have to reveal, though, that there's been a few people, a very small number. Most people, like the vast majority, over 90% of all the tweets and emails I get are positive. I have to reveal though that there's been a few people a very small number most people like the vast majority over 90%

of all the tweets and emails I get are positive more than 90% it's like 99% I would say it's like 1 out of 100 I think people want to hate on you though

yeah maybe but 1 out of 100 they don't seem like they're hating they just say dude it did nothing for me whatsoever and I believe them everybody's got their own some people

first of all I gotta know where you're at I gotta know are you smoking cigarettes are you out of shape are you ill it's $29 out of shape? Are you ill? It's $29, half your paycheck. Yeah, that could be it, too.

A lot of people are upset at the price. This is what I said. Oh, really? Yeah, I said, listen, this is the highest quality shit, and we get it from the best manufacturers. We put it in a really well-calculated form. But steal it. Steal it.

Go online. You can see all the ingredients go get your own ingredients i have no problem going scoop it off the shelf i was thinking well do that if you can no don't do that because somebody had to buy it man that's rude no but at the same time i'm saying i feel like it's still the formula but you're i don't know man i think okay if 29 bucks is not that expensive for that kind of thing. Or whatever it is. All the other stuff, buying that stuff separately costs a lot of money. And it's the quality of all those chemicals too.

If that stuff, if that mix doesn't work for you, well then you lost $29. You know what I mean? So what? But I don't know. The benefit for me, man, I'm stoked, man. I'm stoked about it because it makes me feel super clear. I did an interview today.

It was like, okay, my brain works. And that was after training for two hours. People don't want to believe in it, and that's fine. And there's a lot of people that say there's no science behind it. But there's a science paper on the site that shows, with references, it's a medical editorial written on the efficacy of this alpha brain stuff. And it's based on reactions, man. It's based on things that people have noticed you know hey we take this this happens and put it all together and it has I mean people get

annoyed because we talked about it all the time but I wanted to go really some I talked about all the time well people are we know we talked about I talked about also people being annoyed what is that noise that that your phone that sounds pretty awesome that's fine so it's your phone um people being annoyed that we talk about it but i wanted i wanted to get your take on it which is why i had them sent are they gonna are they gonna sell them in bulk like huge containers yeah we will eventually i think that's the way to go right 10 off if you go to joe rogan.net there's a link click on it and enter in the code name rogan you get 10 off of it big no let me touch your beard, bro.

Oh, I just cut it off. But so when you took it, how many days a week did you take that shit? I've taken it for four days in a row. Did you notice it right away? Yeah, pretty much. I'm excited because I've only been on it for four days. I want to see what happens later. Because I'm feeling very like, I don't know, man, whatever.

I say that stuff's awesome. I don't know, man, whatever. I say that stuff's awesome. I don't know how the hell you figured that out. It's not me. It's Aubrey, our buddy. He's the smart one. All right. Because I'm like, oh, this is sweet. I feel like, man, pretty focused.

It's pretty awesome. I feel good that my friend made up something that is good. It's way better. Like that movie Warrior was good. And I'm friends with one of the guys who wrote on the thing. And I was like, I hope this is good. And I saw it and I was like, man, this is really good. So I was like, I feel good

with my friends. And now you give me these freaking pills. And I'm like, man. Are you sure that's not a placebo effect? No, I know. That's what I'm worried. That's what I'm thinking. I'm really trying to, in my head, go, okay. No, he goes the other way every time. I go all the way. Yeah.

I go, nah, that's bullshit. I always say bullshit. I don't think it is. It's true. I don't think it is. I think recently, because you gave me that new bottle, because I was out for like two weeks, and for those two weeks, I was starting to feel icky again, and then I've been taking it nonstop.

I just hope it doesn't get put on a PEDs list. I don't think it will be. It's all vitamins. I know, but what I'm saying is, if I have a brain advantage, that's illegal too, right? Yeah, but that's like vitamin B. I know, yeah. There's some other shit that we're selling now that's based on the cordyceps mushroom. Do you know anything about that shit, Ryan?

Because I know you're on the same time. I do. I do already. I didn't know that that's what it was when you said it. I didn't realize cordyceps was... I had a lot of success with cordyceps earlier in my career. I saw that. Did you?

Yeah. I use it. It helped my weight and my cardio. So I remember I was doing judo tournaments and doing jiu-jitsu tournaments when I was young. I would take that stuff and it made me feel real good. That's crazy, though, that I didn't even know that cordyceps is a mushroom. Someone said, you've got to take cordyceps. One of the trainers there, and I was like, all right, I'll take it.

And then I didn't. What the hell is a cordyceps? What does it look like? Is it like a little blue mushroom? What's a cordyceps? That's a good question. Google that. Come on, Red Band.

Mushrooms are so fucking good for you. There's so many mushrooms. I take chaga mushrooms. They're supposed to be really good for your immunity. I take a bunch of different things just knowing that I'm going to go on the road a lot. I'm going to be around a lot of icky things. So I take a lot of probiotics. But I also started taking these chaga mushrooms because I read up on them,

like how good they are and the mean, health benefits of mushrooms. Why? What does it do for you? Oh, there's so many different things. It's good for your immune system. It's like an antioxidant. Oh, really? Like, the best thing about probiotics, anything you're taking a mushroom in.

Yeah, I always drink those or the little, you ever drink the little, what's that called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Activa things. No, no, it's a small one. No, no, the Bio-K. Yeah, Bio-K. Oh, yeah. Man, it tastes good

You can tell man You feel digestive Like you feel like it pushes Those are by far the best ones Yeah Is it by far What's it called again They're in the refrigerator

They look like little yogurt things Bio-K It's like a little tiny A little canister I love the idea Taking all this live shit Into your body I love it

That's weird What I was going to say Those kombucha drinks Yes exactly I love those things I drink that shit every day Yeah and it's weird. What I was going to say is... Those kombucha drinks. Yes, exactly. I love those things. I drink that shit every day. Yeah, and it's really done. And I also bought some fucking ridiculously expensive acidophilus.

I was like, why is this shit $100? Oh, yeah. You know, because it's in the refrigerator. It's supposed to be like the highest count, blah, blah, blah, whatever, you know, different types. I'm like, all right, you know, I'm not even going to do any research. I'm just going to pop one and pop one a day and see what the fuck is up for a hundred bucks Like a hundred bucks for a bottle Not even a big bottle

I don't know It wasn't that big man Have you seen the documentary Fat, Sick, Nearly Dying Are you serious Yeah bro we're connected That's crazy Because it's all about how we don't eat anything live really

we're getting all our nutrients from dead stuff like you know we like uh breads and whatnot you know through all of america pretty much it's it's an easy accessible thing and to just juice all your food everything's real life vegetables you know and uh people have done like juice fasts and and stopping gone uh this guy did it in the movie, 60 days with only – he had a portable juicer and stuff. And then he met people on the way, and then he met this trucker that was bigger than Joey Diaz, 400. And he started doing – he's like, look, just do this for 10 days. And next thing you know, it was just like people were dropping weight. He immediately looked healthier too.

He looked healthier, yeah. You know what? I can feel a lot too. I tell anybody, if you can do that, it takes a lot of time and a lot of devotion to grind up all your food into juice. It helps if you've got a girlfriend. Do you think that you should juice it or do you think you should use that Vitamix

thing? The Vitamix blender, it's basically like juicing it, but you're also maintaining all the stuff from the back. You have a lot of fiber with that. We do both. Trust me, dude. That fiber drink, that's like your real drink. When you grind everything up with a Vitamix blender, that's like,

okay, I'm drinking this. For me, I really like it now because I know the health benefits. It makes me feel good when I drink it. But when you drink it first, you're like, man, that's like lawn mower juice right there. It just came out of the bag. It's fresh out of the bag. Fresh out of the bag and they blend it

a little more and then you suck it down. The regular juicer it's just like it's like a juice. You're like oh I went to Jamba Juice.

I tried to get my little kid to try it. What? Oh yeah. I tried to get the three year old. She looked at that fucking green sperm.

It looks like Hulk sperm. That's what it looks like. Wait she says this? No. She's always talking about loads, that little kid. You gotta say it's princess tears or something. Like I said, this is daddy's health drink. Ryan's little daughter

is like a freaking health match. She's been drinking green juice from six months old. Wow. That's cool. With the same stuff, that blended up stuff, the Vitamix thing? No, just to get a juice. Oh, no, no. My daughter drinks juices. From the press juicery, there's a place that they use some sort of a crazy hydraulic cold press something.

It's better than grinding it up. She drinks the lawnmower juice. His little girl drinks the lawnmower juice. She has a crazy diet. Well, her diet's amazing. Really? My wife cooks everything from home organic she's never had any meat or dairy really yeah bro it's weird she's never she's been sick probably

three times in her whole life wow that's awesome no meat or dairy huh it's so crazy to see his little kid because usually i see little kids that are like sticking them at donald's you know and this kid is like super healthy eater and like man it's really crazy to see uh how that benefits a kid you know for sure you're nutritional because i can tell this kid is like she's never sick yeah that's awesome and like really like i don't know does she at least get sway ice cream once in a while or anything oh yeah you can get really great ice creams like um any of those cashew nut ice cream yeah i love this stuff it's great i would never go no dairy. Cheese is just too fucking delicious.

I'm sorry. A steak and cheese with no cheese or with some fucking whack-ass vegan cheese. You get away from me, sir. There's a corner in Philadelphia where they have two steak and cheese places. I've been there before. What is it, Pat and Gino's?

Is that what it is? Gino's, yeah. Gino's. Is it Pat's, the other one? Is it Pat's? I don't know, man. Gino's. Is it Pat's, the other one? I don't know, man. I don't know. Somebody tweet that out. Either way, they know what the fuck they're doing.

Yeah, they do, yeah. They know what the fuck they're doing. And cheese is very important. But you feel like real East Coast when you go there. Like, yeah, that's right, East Coast. Give me that thing. Who's that? Yeah.

Like, steak and cheese? And for a lot of dudes, it's like 2 a.m. They struck out at the bars, and then they're like, let's see if we can get over to the steak and cheese place. Maybe some pussy. You know what I'm saying, bro? Just get hammered and go eat. That's when that shit's delicious. Yeah, there's nothing better than fucking greasy food when you're hammered.

Oh, God, just give me this whatever it is, cheese and meat. Greasy-ass fucking pastrami Reuben from Jerry's Deli. You know what I'm saying? You know that feeling? Those pastrami Rubins where you lather that fucking, what is that? Thousand Islands dressing on the inside

of that bitch and just the fat is exploding in your mouth. Just an orgasm. Oh, mom, mom, mom. Cheese and fucking sauerkraut. When you're hammered, man, there's nothing better than that. People who have never been hammered or high really don't understand what food really tastes like.

They don't know. You sort of know. Swilling your wine in your mouth. If you've never really been hammered, come on, son. You've never really been high. Whatever, dude. You eat some dumb stuff and you're hammered, bro. I'm just like, oh, jack-in-the-box. What? I would never...

Jack-in-the-box? Especially if you're a professional athlete, right? Bro oh i look at that thing like oh my god does that i've been drunk before you're the best man jack in the box is just like an orgy of flavors all over you just like squirting mustard all over your tits oh yeah like you're just like what's that again all over your tits can you say it slower this time? Yeah. More feeling. Let me look you in the eye. You know what I'm saying? And I don't think that that's a healthy diet for anybody. I think your brain doesn't care.

It's just like, this is what, at the caveman level, this is what I need to survive. And I don't feel like that's how we should live our lives. The best is the Whole Foods All-You-Can-Eat Bar. I love Whole Foods. When you're stoned, or you just sit there, and you play, and you're just picking out of, they have like a, it's like a salad bar, but Whole Foods style. Yeah, and they just wait.

That's what that is. And the food and everything. It's All You Can Eat? Yeah. No, it's not. You pay per pound. You pay per pound. All You Can Eat?

There'll be some damn skinny fat guys there for sure. So I could go somewhere and get like unlimited chicken breast or I'd be on. I'd just be sitting right next to the bar. Well, that's what Fogo do Chão is. Yeah.

That's gangster. That place is... Man, I owe you a cuss out too by the way. I was sitting on the toilet cussing you out. I was like, man, Joe Rogan,

he's like, let's go to Fogo do Chão. I'm like, what is this place? They come around to you. It's Brazilian they come around to you like you're a king with a big lamb shank. Like, would you like some is this they come around to you it's brazilian jordillo they come out around you like you're a king with a big lamb shank like would you like some of this so you of course

you say yes it's meat in your face you know what you're going to find out is they have them in almost in every mall too like fake ones that are just as good and bullshit the child yeah that's cool they weigh it by the pound like yeah yeah what you want to eat by the bed still good but fogo is all you can eat. Fogo is the best. We eat them on every town. I'm sitting on the toilet and I was hurting, man.

I was like, I'm going to tweet at Joe Rogan right now. Yeah, I feel like when I eat at that place, I feel like a real carnivore because there's nothing but meat. It's just meat.

You've got to open up the poop chute first and then asparagus, broccoli, lettuce, everything in there. Pack the bowl. Collard greens. You've got to pack your bowl first

don't be scared everybody's like Joey Diaz I'm only gonna eat the meat don't do it don't do it that shit with Joey Diaz

Brock Lesnar you son tuberculitis some shit stuck up in y'all we went to Brazil last December it's how we ate every day yeah pretty much I've been more eating meat than I did all year

so good I was so fat by then especially after training doesn't it feel like sad about that. Especially after training. Doesn't it feel like the perfect thing to eat after training? Hey, man, you ever take a rib bone and just chew it and break it off the rib just to feel like an animal? I do that with chicken bones. Ever? I just bite off the ends and suck the marrow out of them.

Oh, man, I love your caveman status. I can't help it. My mom always did it. I grew up with savages, bro. Yeah. Your mom was picking fleas I grew up with savages, bro. Yeah. Your mom was picking fleas off the back of you? Yeah. She's half orangutan.

A beautiful woman. A beautiful woman. Brogan sister swinging down from the treehouse. My mom used to bite the bottoms off chicken bones and suck the marrow out. Tell me that's not some crazy monkey shit. Jazz market. You know? Whatever, bro.

Who even figured that out? You know? Who even figured that out? That's some old world shit. You know? People stopped sucking marrow out about two generations ago. You know? It became, food became plentiful enough that we didn't have to suck the marrow out of the

bones. Isn't that funny? Nah, no. That's awesome. Do you guys ever roll with the kid from Jerry Maguire? Remember that little kid that had glasses? What do you mean? Do ecstasy with him?

No, he does jujitsu. And he choked out Heffron like five times in a row. And he was talking about on his podcast how ashamed he was because it was the little kid from Jerry Maguire. Oh, that's hilarious. I didn't know Heffron's doing jujitsu on a regular basis yeah i guess he does it here and there john heffron john heffron stand-up comic he won last comic standing he's a good buddy of ours i did a whole tour with him him and charlie murphy we traveled across the country years ago i gotta

look at that i didn't see that yeah we did a bud like comedy tour oh i do remember that that's what i could remember that guy's name so hard. What's he look like? Heffron? Handsome, man. White guy? Dark hair. White guy.

Very clean cut. Handsome white guy? Very, very funny stand-up comic. And a good dude, too. Party. Yeah, he's a great guy. That's cool. But he likes to go to fucking karate classes and shit and take new and different things.

He just started wrestling and does judo. Cool. He's cool. He gets into shit. He's one of those real obsessive, one of those guys, he gets onto something and just becomes absolutely obsessed with it. For a while, it was like that Tony Robbins shit,

neuro-linguistic programming, and he used to have little fucking hand movements before he went on stage. He would do a certain thing with his hand, and that would lock him into the mindset of him killing when he's on stage, and then he could take it and just go with it on stage. That's cool.

Amway kind of guy. You believe in that shit? You've got a lot of interesting thoughts about motivation. Yeah, I think all that stuff came from Milton Erickson. You know who he is? No. The father of modern hypnosis. He's a really super interesting

amazing guy. So there was one guy who figured out hypnosis? There's three books called Conversations with Milton Erickson where John Granger, I think his name is Richard. When did they come up with it?

What year? He would be long passed away. What year do you think they invented hypnosis? I think versions of it could go on for... Yeah, probably. Someone just kind of

put this together. Okay, so this guy didn't invent hypnosis. He just... I think of of it could go on for... Maybe someone just kind of put this together. Okay, so this guy didn't invent hypnosis. He just... I think of what people know as modern hypnosis. A lot of it came from Milton Erickson. And he would kind of hypnotize whole groups of people. Really super interesting guy. And he was in a wheelchair, too.

Any of you guys got hypnotized before? Wait, you're talking this guy is Professor Xavier? He's in a wheelchair doing this maneuver? Yeah. That's badass. That's like some damn... That is Captain Xavier. So all that NLP stuff came from a lot of what Milton Erickson was doing. So he figured out how to... He was the first guy to figure out how to

hypnotize large groups? Oh, he would do that just by the way he's... the patterns he used to speak. Right, but did other people? Just by the patterns. So he would go on stage, he would speak in a certain pattern, and the whole audience would be hypnotized. Yeah, and then he'll kind of drop things in.

He's a really interesting guy. So would you be hypnotized? Was everybody hypnotized? Who knows if it was everybody, but that was... Yeah. I remember one guy saying to me that when you're on stage, you've got to hypnotize the audience.

And I've seen you do it. Yeah. What you do is... I wouldn't say hypnotize. What I say is you get them with your focus and your intent and with the economy of words so that they don't have to work too hard. They know exactly what you're saying. You project what you're thinking into their head. And then it's like you operate their mind. They allow you inside their mind to you

take them on a journey yeah yeah so i wouldn't say it's hypnotizing but it is a lot like that there's a connection right there's an undeniable connection that you have with the crowd yeah as a comic if you you feel it you lock into it and you ride it and you have to ride it with like super honesty it's like it's a weird thing if you if you're not really in the moment it'll stop it'll stop and then they'll just become words and you lose this connection that's like creating rapport all those things go a long way to keeping that connection going yeah so this guy just stands or sat there in the wheelchair and would talk and the audience would walk out you do i would imagine you're very similar not like like this he wakes him up and

you're making out with the person yeah yeah don't go comic and sleep right as he comes wait but sleep so there is there any i mean so you're telling me that people like i know that people been to the damn uh hypnotizing show and they're like yeah you know and then he she got up and you know barked like a dog every time he stopped his fingers you know, and then she got up and, you know, barked like a dog every time he snapped his fingers. Is there any truth to that? I don't know.

That's what I'm saying. I'm asking you guys. I've seen it a bunch of times. Really? Comedy hypnosis shows by a bunch of different dudes. Yeah, I've seen it a bunch of times.

It's real. It doesn't work on everybody, but it works on some people. I figure... I think you have to weaken your mind or something. Are you... Not necessarily.

Really? No, remember Urkel? Because someone's been hypnotized. Remember Urkel? I missed what you guys were saying. I said, we were saying that you have to be weak to get hypnotized. He goes, not necessarily.

Someone's been hypnotized. He was at the funny bone and then it was just out of nowhere. Have they ever tried to hypnotize you? No, I know. That's what I'm trying. I don't think they could do it. I would be like, all right, cool, let's try.

You have to be willing to let yourself go. Yeah, I probably would be. I'd be like, fuck that. You can't tell me. Go along for rides. You enjoy that stuff. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

But I don't think I would be doing this. You wouldn't bark like a dog. You know what I'm saying? How would you? I think different people have different definitions, first of all, for hypnosis. There's other people that they'll describe hypnosis as is just putting someone in a very relaxed state where they're receptive to information. And you can talk to them in a more balanced way than you can when they're up and hyper and looking at you and looking around. And so the idea of hypnosis is not like they're not conscious. They're very conscious. they're up and hyper and looking at you and looking around. And so it's the idea of hypnosis. It's not like they're not conscious.

They're very conscious. They're conscious and aware. They're just relaxed into a certain level of consciousness. It's not standard. It's relaxed and controlled. And that even though they're aware of everything, they're still being hypnotized. I don't know what the official definition of it is, but I have seen people

that are absolutely hypnotized and believe that there's things that are going on in one of those hypnosis comedy shows. There's things that are going on around them and they can't control it and they can't stop it and they come in their pants. I've seen them think that there's monsters in the room. I've seen all that shit.

Why would they come in their pants if there's monsters in the room? No, there's different tricks. My bad, my bad. There was one where there was this guy, Frank Santos, who had this guy having sex with Madonna on stage. I'll never forget this. And the guy's like, and you're inside of her, and you're inside of her. And the dude just nuts in his fucking pants.

Wait, did you hear this? You see the kid just nut. You see the kid just nut you see the kid just nut like immediately like nuts in his pants and everyone starts laughing and howling and then you know the the hypnotist goes whoa i guess uh i guess you enjoyed that all right all right clean yourself up over there and the kid just walks off stage and they the the the people that worked there helped him and brought him into the bathroom. Kid just fucking shot a load in his pants. He really believed he was having sex with a daughter. You know what, though? Wait, was this Brian or was this somebody else?

It was in the backseat of my Toyota Prius. I'm not saying it's Michio Kaku and they're getting hypnotized. They're probably some knuckleheads. But what I'm saying is, was that guy just a plant? No, no, no, no, no, no. I know the hypnotist. The hypnotist was a very honest dude. For what? He was really capable of doing it. Not hypnotist. The hypnotist was a very honest dude. For what?

He was really capable of doing it. Not to everybody. He would pick people out of the crowd. He'd say, who wants to get hypnotized? He'd bring them up on stage. And he would always know who wasn't really under. There's some people, he goes, and he would tell you. I go, well, how do you know when they're not under?

He goes, oh, you can just tell. I go, well, what do you do? He goes, you can't do it. You can't hypnotize them. Some people you can't hypnotize. So it's like, there's almost like some people, they're programmed in a certain way certain way where there's just a door open and you can just open that door and get inside we have newer operating systems moving around yeah and that was that was patched at two point yeah that's some old shit that's mac osx or os8 yeah whatever the fuck it was

yeah i think i think everyone has a capability to go there really capability if you can relax enough to be if you decide that that's where a place that you're going to go there. Really? Mm-hmm. Capability if you can relax enough to be hypnotized. If you decide that that's a place that you're going to go to and you're open and receptive to it, of course. Really? Yeah. Everyone? Everyone. Wow.

That's why things like advertising works. Does it really work? I guess it works, right? Sure. But does it really? I think what works more is the court of public opinion. You know, like things that are desirable are desirable because a bunch of people like them, not just because of advertisement.

It becomes a chicken and egg film. When was the last time you saw a Ferrari advertisement? You don't see them. You know why? They don't need to do that. Why? Because it's a fucking Ferrari. Yeah.

That was pretty good. What are you talking about, dude? They have a Ferrari store in the mall. You just never leave the house. Yeah, no, no, no. And you can buy their items. They don't advertise anything. They don't advertise anything on TV.

That's advertising enough. That's not. They're selling things, bro. They're saying they were so awesome. They're capitalizing off their image and making money. No, they advertise in different ways. Yeah, they advertise a different way, dude. They have a Formula One car that's driven by Team Ferrari.

That's advertising. Sort of. It's also how they develop their product. One car that's driven by Team Ferrari. That's advertising. Sort of. It's also how they develop their product. Well, that's why the advertising works. Yeah. Because it's so congruent with their product. Right. But it's sort of a part of their business.

I wouldn't say it's advertising as much as I'd say it's a necessary part of their business. It is. Not in the traditional way that I'm putting an ad in the newspaper advertising. It is. But what I'm saying is they don't try to reach outside of their sport and make commercials on TV. When was the last time

you saw a commercial for Ferrari in a magazine? No, listen, dude. Listen. My point is that they don't need to. They're such an established name. I would say that they do market and advertise.

They just do it in different ways. And I feel like they really did all the advertising a long time ago. They did all the advertising a long time ago. They've been such a badass name for so long that we don't even need to advertise. You know our shit costs $500,000 and you can't afford it, so fuck off.

That's really their... Well, it's not even just that. It's just that they're the best. What about Lamborghini? Why not? Lamborghini, they're not as good. There's something about them. It's not the same. Lamborghini? Why not? Lamborghinis, they're not as good. There's something about them. It's not the same.

Lamborghini is too trashy, trying too hard. You know what I'm saying? Whatever, dude. You're going to be saying that when I got a Lamborghini, bro. They're still pretty wicked. I'm going to have a purple Lamborghini. Gallardo, especially, is still pretty wicked. But if you had to choose between a Lamborghini and a Ferrari, what's a cooler car?

Ferrari is... Lamborghini all day, bro. What's your problem? Really? Yeah, Lamborghini and a Ferrari, what's a cooler car? Ferrari is... Lamborghini all day, bro. What's your problem? Yeah, Lamborghini. Really? You like them? Yeah, because it's like freaking badass. When you were a little kid, you were like, man, I want a Lamborghini, bro.

And you had a little toy Lamborghini, and you're like, yeah, look at it. It's purple and black, but it's shiny. Oh, then it gets wet, and now it's green. Ooh, hyper-colored Lambos. That's what I'm talking about. So Lamborghini was awesome. Was that a certain kind of thing? Ferrari was like the old man dork car when you had it.

I'm an old man dork. Well, I guess. I'm like, ah, well, you know, James Bond. I'm like, fuck James Bond. I don't even have a Ferrari. That wasn't my point. My point is that. I'm just talking about my Matchbox experience, bro.

That's all I'm saying. Like, I just felt like Lamborghini was really kicking it off in about my circa 1986 don't get me wrong the Marseille I go whatever that's called. That's a pretty fucking beastly car. That's a Ferrari. No No, it's oh yeah Marcy Lago Marcy. Oh wait. There's another one. That's the but the Lamborghini Marcia Lago is the mercy a lot Oh, yeah, I don't and $50,000 car or something crazy like that That was the first one like that ridiculous. I just remember that shit looked like back to the future bro they're all ridiculous they're like a super they're almost too ridiculous looking whereas ferrari is like i guess not though ferrari's pretty ridiculous yeah exactly you see a ferrari that no top it just looks like a weird crazy boat car yeah i know it's like but i love that someone's dumb enough to make something like that

they're dumb enough to make something just that. Dumb enough to make something just fucking completely reckless, defies traffic violations, in first gear. It'll pass the fucking speed limit. It's ridiculous. I don't got a driver's license because I had a car that wasn't even that fast. What happened? I just kept getting tickets

and throwing them out the window. You know, I just was like, I'll pay it online. I'll pay it online. But I didn't realize there was points on this thing. Like, there's a point limit? Yeah, I don't know. I just got like... Is that for parking?

You hit the limit and they shut you off? Yeah, they were like, no, sorry. Parking's not that, right? Like, parking has no points. Man, I have a bunch of parking tickets, too. I paid them all off, though. I'm legit. Because I have a parking ticket that I can't find.

So you were speeding? Yeah, a bunch of times. And they just catch you in weird spots. Like on the way to training. And it's just a back road. There's no school on it or anything. Have you ever considered getting a real luxury style car? Like a Cadillac or something like that.

Where you would just drive slow. Like one of those big ass Cadillacs. Yeah. I'm just like people driving me around I'm glad I lost yeah I'm like whatever just drive me it's like a text just drive me somewhere I got Sarge bro he went from

driving land cruisers on the damn Afghanistan front now he just drives me around I'm like come on Sarge he was over there fighting Sarge is like my homie he's like a real close friend of mine and he got blown up by a rocket in Afghanistan. But no, he's good. It didn't blow all the way up.

It hit his headrest. It hit his headrest and blasted him. And I just cut into his back and stuff. He called me up. He's like, yo, bro. I'm coming home. I got hit by a rocket. I'm like, for real?

I'm like, man, come back, dude. All right. I'll see you soon. He's like, all right. Man, he called back two weeks later. He's like, no, I'm like, for real? I'm like, man, come back, dude. All right, I'll see you soon. He's like, all right. Man, he called back two weeks later. He's like, no, I'm good, bro. Fuck that. I'm killing all these guys.

I'm like, oh, my. I'm like, all right. What can you say to that? You're like, I understand. Fucking go for it. Yo, but he made it back, dude. We went and visited. What was this about?

Where the fuck did this conversation get started from? I don't care. Now I'm talking about it. It's how I'm excited? I don't care. Now I'm talking about it. So I'm excited. I don't know. Oh, because of Sarge. And how did Sarge get into this? For driving you around? Oh, yeah. He's driving me around. That's the whole point I was making anyway.

But I'm saying he... That's a crazy-ass story, dude. And that's what's happening to kids in... You know, kids. This guy was like 23 years old like i'm like damn dude like he's been through enough adventure for a man three times his age you know already i i didn't mean to get y'all i just got me started cranking about sarge sorry guys have you ever been kicked out of war commentary by jason mayhem miller no i know but i'm just thinking because

you know i could have done that. I could have joined up real easy because my old man was in it, and I grew up in the Army. So I feel like real connection to the dudes in the Army and the Marines and the Air Force, whatever. I'm just like, I see how you got to live to be in that. You should be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do in this life, but it is kind of weird when you see those crazy video game commercials

about joining the Marines. Wow. When you go, wow, that's like really influencing the shit out of kids. Yeah, or the video games that they make. That's like Call of Duty,

but they make it. They have an army game. Really? Yeah. Is Call of Duty based in the present time? Call of Duty is awesome. Don't get me cranking on that.

I don't know anything about it. Some of them are World War I, some are World War II, some are Vietnam. The latest ones are Modern Warfare. You feel like you're in a real war. The guy who plays that shit is Bruce Buffer. We were in England and this dude was in his laptop

with fucking crazy eyes. Really? Online, jacking people, looking through windows and throwing grenades and shit. I was like, what is that? It's like Call of Duty. I'm like, oh, it's ridiculous. It's the graphics and everything. But, man, you see people, how fucking tuned in they get to these games.

Of course. How nutty it is. Weren't you into video games before? Yeah, bad. Hardcore for a long time. But my point is, when is the next level of immersion going to come? Because you know it's going to.

They're going to figure out some fucking goggles that you wear. They already did. They have those goggles. You strap in. You have LED goggles. You're going to be able to look down and see your feet.

You're going to be able to look around. You're going to be in that fucking world, man. That's around the corner. That's a decade away. They're going out some fucking some virtual reality shit because when we were kids virtual reality was what they kept talking about it's coming wait till virtual reality but then when it came it was like this is like goggles and doesn't really work and it looks whack yeah but technology is advancing now yeah exactly they stepped on their dick like they are like running so fast they stepped on their dick like but now it's the shit's coming you have to figure out how you move around

how would you move you know because you'd want to move your body you can't move your body unless motion sensor the only thing you could do is have people in giant warehouses you would you hollow deck them give them the virtual reality experience you'd put the fucking helmet on them and set them in the center of a giant warehouse. And the warehouse, as they walked around... Wait, you never watched Star Trek, bro? You never watched Star Trek before? The holodeck?

Yeah, the holodeck. You're like, I'm going up to the holodeck. Wait a minute. Are you saying Star Trek as in the next generation? Yeah, of course. Come on, man. Of course. I didn't watch that fucking show.

How dare you? Out of respect. What? Out of respect to Captain Kirk? Whatever, bro. bro that was a great show you're missing bro i was too young for that shit okay so respect that was my version okay and i don't care bro wharf was a bad motherfucker okay i'll just tell you right now dado he was awesome he's super smart sometimes he had emotions sometimes he didn't you know and, and, you know, I feel like Star Trek The Next Generation gets overlooked. I can't do it, sir.

Yeah, yeah. They had Scotty. They had Scotty again. He was like 900 years old, had a mustache, a funny fucking voice. Yeah, his head was gigantic and watermelon-like. There's no need for that. Did you see the Michael Jackson death photo? Oh, what happened?

For real? I saw what they believe is Michael Jackson's death photo. Well, I mean, did had it in court that was the courtroom picture but is it really how do we know because it's on TMZ

that's where they got it from well someone was in court and they took the picture the prosecutors were showing it to show that how did it get online because I think

the opening statements broadcast live on TMZ right now whoa and Ustream actually has it on right now what how crazy is that TMZ is a legitimate news source

in a fucking courthouse while Michael Jackson's, you know, doctor. It's just public. I think it's open to the public. Well, what are you talking about? That's the perfect place

to put that news. It is, right? It's like, that's the celebrity like worship shit, you know? That's weird. Yeah, but this Michael Jackson doctor thing

is kind of funny, man. Yeah, what happened? I don't even know what happened. Did he kill the guy or what? I don't know. I just can't wait for the death photo music video, though, where they use that photo to do music. You know shit like that's coming.

I remember when I was alive and I didn't molest children. Both of you guys get a fucking room. Stop hating, Joe Rogan. Drive your Ferrari around. You're so loud. What? It's a radio show. You're supposed to be loud.

No, this is not a radio show. This is a conversation amongst friends. Why are you talking to me in a way you would never talk to me? I would talk to you like this. We weren't on the internet like this. Oh, time out, Joe Rogan. You wouldn't be doing this. Get out of here.

Yeah, I'm not doing this. Get out of here. I smell what you're cooking. He took it to another level because we're on the internet like this. Oh, time out, Joe Rogan. You wouldn't be doing this. Get out of here. Yeah, I'm not doing this. Get out of here. I smell what you're cooking. He took it to another level because we're on the internet. You took it to another level. You hang out with me. Do I not fucking flip out like that on a normal basis? I told you to put some windows.

I can't help it. Put a nice glow in his coffee. Why do you think I go to a gym every day, guys? Because that's your job. That's my job, but guess what? It stopped me from having jobs where i had to be normal i can run around on the mat and go ah fuck the shit out of bitches yeah yeah sometimes so so i'm just saying i picked that path because sometimes i

do that's your medication yeah there you go so i just want to yell sometimes sometimes i sing to my wiener dog bro do you monster fuck bitches? He's got to, right? It's up to him. Do you want to watch me? No, I mean, I could just imagine you. What is this about? It would be a terrible thing to neither admit to or even acknowledge. I know.

Why is he watching? Do you want to watch? No, I'm just imagining. Do you want to wrestle with me? Just give me a taste. Half erection crying while you're fucking some girl. Weeping as he comes and just dribbles on his foot. Blop, blop, blop. Oh, my God.

Ryan Parsons. Hey, come and drink some coffee, guys. What do you think? That's a good idea? Yeah. I think that'll help you for sure. That's what you need in your life. When you start training, you're training for your December 3rd fight, right?

Yeah, already. Do you have to wash it like coffee? Do you limit that for your day? No. Coffee, not so much. But man, I stopped chewing tobacco. Man, it was making me angry. I have to stop.

I just stopped. You were doing it in Colorado, weren't you, when we were up there? Yeah, I just quit. I was like, man, you know what? This is stupid. My doctor called me and said, you got to stop that. I was like, all right, I'll stop. It's not even that hard.

Coffee, I stopped drinking coffee. Coffee is fine. But I stopped drinking coffee before I had a headache after three days, man. I'm telling that, yeah. Right? But this thing is just, man, I want to chew. And then I'll go, no, no, no, I don't.

No, I don't. And then that's it. There's no pain or anything like that. What does a chew do for you? Does it like... Yeah, it tightens up your brain, that's for sure. Yeah.

That's why, I can see why people smoke cigarettes because the nicotine is kind of like the same concept, that neurotropic, right? Yeah. Your brain comes alive a little bit and you get focused down. But I don't know man nicotine in general has that sort of

a to me to me it's more of like a calming relaxing yeah but it's a more of us a check like he's right like kind of gives you a check like Kevin James loves cigars and when I'm not smoking cigars together you know it's one of the rare times I smoke them but you get high off of those things. You do. You get some weird buzz off a good cigar. For sure. It's nice.

It's nicotine, man. It's a drug, nicotine. But I don't get addicted. I don't need it the next day. Oh, no, no. Well, it's a different. It takes a long time to get addicted, though. Yeah. And it's a different type of high anyway.

That's a more intense. Yeah, smoking a cigar is is intense burning in your mouth and you feel the nicotine quick burn. But doing a dip or whatever, it's more like a constant thing. You know what I mean? Not that intense, but more constant. So I can see why people get addicted to it.

I hope I'm remembering. I thought it was like 18 months to 3 years to get addicted to cigarettes. No, really? That it takes 18 months? To get a real physical addiction. I hope I'm remembering that right. Brian would be able to tell you better than anybody.

That's about right. I mean, I think like the first, unfortunately, I started when I was 15. And I think the first couple of years was more of just like I was smoking because I was in high school. Me and my friend would go to his house during lunch break and just smoke cigarettes. But it wasn't like I needed to smoke cigarettes. But it was kind of like we just did it because I was in high school. Me and my friend would go to his house during lunch break and just smoke cigarettes. But it wasn't like I needed to smoke cigarettes, but it was kind of like we just did it because we were in high school. Yeah, I was really surprised. I thought it would happen real quick, but it doesn't.

No, that's crazy. Well, good. I missed the window. I did that for a little while. You still had time. When I was in high school, the baddest kid on the wrestling team smoked cigarettes. This kid, Mark Collin, he was a sick wrestler.

My dad would smoke cigarettes and just run forever. He would smoke cigarettes and just run 12 miles. I'm like, what the hell? He was smoking cigarettes. We worked out in the basement. That's where the wrestling room was.

It was all fucking asbestos in there. Everybody probably inhaled a half a pound of that shit. All that insulation was all, this was in 1981 or whatever the fuck it was. And Mark would wrestle and then he would go outside and smoke a cigarette in the snow he's standing there and he's fucking wrestling all sweaty and shit smoking a cigarette his girlfriend in the snow i was like what a crazy asshole but he was just such a wild motherfucker

when he wrestled that kid could have been he could have been a legit killer wrestler but just you know everybody's met guys like that, where they just have a few vices that they can never let go. Got a taste for it. I know you want to hang out in the snow. They take it to a high level, but they can't keep going. They get to a real high level, and they just sort of flatline. They don't keep continuing on that upward path.

The most difficult dance is to maintain your balance through the entire progression as a fighter. It's probably... Not as a fighter through life. I feel like fighting mirrors life for sure. It's this accelerated view of what happens in life.

Yeah, and like anything that is very, very difficult. I always think about that as fights as poetry for the actual act of living life. You know what I mean? If you look at each individual fight, it has a story. If you break it down frame by frame and you do that for your job, if you really think about it, a lot of it is we get so used to it and desensitized to it but every fight has like a little story in it you know that that's what makes uh mixed martial arts like really interesting to me like like because everything you do your life play can play out in just this exact particular way as a fight you know what i mean

they mirror each other and shit can happen and shit can happen do you do you look at your career like your your future ahead and say you know hey you, this is when I'm going to get out. I have X amount of years before shit starts to get slippery. Yeah, I think we talked about this before. I feel like, yeah, at some point your body goes. You got to go, okay, and look at it from, I don't know, you have to take that as a fighter. You have to take that from every angle. You know what I mean?

And see what's best for you. There's guys, plenty of guys. take that from every angle. You know what I mean? And see what's best for you. You know, there's guys that, you know, plenty of guys. Nobody goes out on top. You know what I mean? You got porn star career, kind of. Yeah, you have. I mean, you have to, you know, there's some guys, you know, I don't know. It's just, what can you do in the time that you have to do it with it?

And if not, fucking no. What I was trying to get at was, do you map it out? Mary Bridge. Do you write down, like, the things that you want to do yeah i yeah i do yeah this is getting kind of weird i feel personal yeah yeah it feels personal i do it's personal for me too i've come over my house and i have my like motivation things on the wall and i get fucking embarrassed because people read them i know yeah you feel like you're a clown are you yeah exactly one of them was super embarrassing you know singles fucking chicken

i want to get my asshole bleached one of my little things i wrote down is uh be someone that you'd Yeah, exactly. One of them was super embarrassing. Singles, fucking chicken. I want to get my asshole bleached. One of my little things I wrote down is be someone that you'd be envious of. I'm like, God, what a douchey fucking thing to see somebody read. Yeah, whatever. That's awesome. It's a good idea to try to live your life by that. It is. It's good.

No, I think that's... But you have to... Most people don't do this. But you have to set out to become an interesting person because no one's born that way. You have to do things in your life to make i think there are people that are absolutely interesting without even trying you know they just just think a certain way and they have certain interests and certain desires i don't think you have to set out yes yeah but they went some somewhere they started venturing down that trail they created maybe it's just because that's what what fascinated them you know but you guys are chicken and egg right now. You guys always do that.

That's pretty interesting. But I think wild statements like no one ever blank. For sure, someone can be interesting without trying. I know a lot of people that are just probably autistic and just geniuses and absolutely fascinating, and they're not trying at all. Yeah. I know video game coders. You ever talk to one of those head guys?

You mean some guys just hit the lottery and are interesting naturally? Well, they're just fascinating. They're just fascinating people without trying at all. I feel like everybody got a story. Everybody. Some people have no story. Some people eat shit, dig hole, then die. Well, that's a story in itself, and there could be some beauty in there.

It's sort of one of those little stories. That's a coming-of-age story. A coming-of-age tale. You get a jack-in-the-box. Remember you get a little storybook and a jack-in-the little stories. That's a coming of age story. A coming of age tale. You get a Jack in the Box. Remember you get a little storybook in a Jack in the Box? That's that guy's life. I couldn't afford Jack in the Box. You couldn't afford Jack in the Box? Not Jack in the Box.

I lived in a Cracker Jack. McDonald's? Yeah, I was like, what's a story? That's a whole different thing. I was trying to think of the little toys that you got and I said Jack in the Box instead of Cracker Jack. And they had the little tattoos. I was real confused. I'm like, what? I mean, whatever. You know what it was? You were talking about how said yeah in the box instead of cracking and they had the little tattoos i was real confused i'm like yeah what i mean but whatever you know what it was you were talking about how delicious jack in the box yeah i totally still i hypnotized your eyes man i had a kickboxing trainer you know who master toddy is sure that guy is an interesting interesting

character you were telling me when we were at that uh professional yeah he was holding pads for me and i'm like all right and he no, no, no look at pads. I'm like, don't look at the pads. He's like, no look at the pads. I'm like, okay, I won't look at the pads. He's like, no, look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. Hypnotize my eyes.

Hypnotize my eyes. That's what he would say when you hit pads with him? Yes, and I had to look him in the eyes. And try not to laugh. Yes! For people who don't know. Explain that for people who don't know. That's fucking the Y crew.

You have to do this dance before you go into the ring. And he wanted to do the dance. And it's like, you know, I mean, it's cool when you see it. But explain the music while the fight's going on. Okay, yeah. Three minute rounds. Okay? The whole time. It's like the cafe scene from star wars music it's very weird interesting you think a girl

dancing with blue hair i mean blue like tubes coming out of her head we could play it we could play it what is it will you yeah what is it called just put a y crew in the internet w-y-u-k-r-u just two words or uh tied yeah. Or Y Crew Music. Muay Thai Music. You can put Muay Thai Music in there because Sarge, before we battle at Call of Duty, he puts the Muay Thai Music and does the dance. Like he does the Y Crew. No joke, Brian.

He does the little dance. I'm going to kill you. I'm like, really, dude? Where are you? He does that before you train? No, but yeah. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about Sarge'm saying my douchebag

guys got a fucking where you train who you train with muay thai now you cordero yeah cordero cordero yeah what an honor that is huh yeah you're training with the man from fucking shoot the box we have a crazy team right now so what people don't know is this sound when you're watching muay thai this is this is played through the entire fight it's awesome this is exactly the fat song that he had on the tape he had a tape another cd a tape of this music playing three minutes and then in the middle of the rounds you know the one minute rest period was everybody dance now i whoa What the hell are you doing Put that music on a little bit

I used to not like it When I was younger Why do they have to play this music But now as I've gotten older And embraced differences and cultures I find it fascinating I love that it exists That world boy tie thing we saw

That thing was awesome The first match I was like I'm not used to this. Man, by the second match, third match, I was like, this is great. Loved it. Yeah, especially, you know, the crazy stuff. Real high-level stuff. Yeah, the crazy stuff that happened.

The elbow, crazy elbows those guys caught each other with and stuff. Like, it was great. We saw Buakaw Pao Promak. I think that's how you say his name. We saw him get his 198th win. Yeah. He was so relaxed. He was him get his 198th win. Yeah. He was so relaxed. He was like a Zen master, bro.

Dude, he's so good. And he's not even 30, or he's just turning 30 or something like that. He's probably been pro for 17 years. God damn, he's great. He dismantled homeboy. He dismantled homeboy, and he did it so relaxed. It was like this guy never had a chance. It was all technique.

Like everything he did, he was always in the right place. Yeah, his knees, his kicks. He fought that whole fight with the knees basically. Because he just came out with a diagonal knee every time. And actually in the third round he started doing that. Because now he found that was his point where he could hit him with. But he also did a lot of like outside kicks and and hooks Yeah, it was all landing. Yeah, even to his body. He kicked that guy's arms. Oh, yeah

Oh, he was so relaxed. He's like Zen when he fights. Yeah, I could see it like he's so chill How about in like the fourth round when he put his hand up and walked away from the dude? Yeah, he put his arm up a lot Should I take him now like in to the audience and like looks at the audience? What are you talking about? His why crew him now? Like, and take him to the audience And like, looks at the audience With his hand up Were you talking about His Y crew was awesome Yeah, his Y crew was the shit He was dancing

He was like stomping on the ground Like, that really affected me What happened was The guy, the other guy I believe he was from Canada I'm not sure I don't know He trained in Canada

But he's from South Africa I might be wrong South Africa Okay, the other guy Apparently pushed him At the weigh-ins And got in his face And said a bunch of crazy shit

And so Bull Kyle said He was going to punish him And he told everyone he's gonna so he did his y crew like like pretending he was shooting arrows so he's doing his little pre-fight dance stomps on the ground he's like shooting arrows at the guy and he got like in the guy's space like way too close yeah where his fist was like like literally inches from the guy's face when he ended so it was really like intense and then he went out there and just dismantled the dude. Slowly but surely. That guy had some flashes of greatness. Hands. Good hands.

His punching was really good and he came straight a few times and landed and came with a straight and hook combination. You see the experience of Buakaw how he would fade back when the dude was attacking. The guy was coming after him and punching. He knew when to be comfortable. Fade back and then knees.

Tie him up. Bang. Knees to the body. Knees to the body. Like flippy knees coming after him but he would just fade back and then knees fade back and then knees tie him up bang knees to the body knees to the body like flippy knees where his fucking hip turns

and just digs his knee into the side of your rib cage and the torque and the fucking technique that that guy has man and then he just started chopping homeboys leg whack

you know that weird Thai sort of press forward dance that they do when I watch that though it's crazy with that with that style of kickboxing. You can get so much more loose than in mixed martial arts. Oh, yeah.

Take down. You don't have to worry about getting taken down. It's so crazy. Yeah, it's kind of funny, isn't it, to really see the highest level of striking. Yeah, it has to be. Here's the rules. Just kicking. Yeah, just kickboxing.

But, you know, I mean, that makes sense. There's going to be a hybrid. We're seeing it now. The hybrid is bound to happen in mixed martial arts. Do you think that for a young fighter who's developing, it's important to have just straight grappling matches and just straight kickboxing matches? Well, not really.

Do you think that helps you at all? I think it helps a little bit, but I think you definitely need to mix them because that's what's happening. The real benefit is learning how to compete. It takes a long – a long just like you doing stand-up i'm sure yeah it took a long time to get comfortable or jason fight whatever it is that you specialize in you have to put hours in yeah it's tough if you're doing striking because maybe you're getting hit in the head for hours grappling tends to be easier and that's if you were competing every day it would be so much easier of course your body wouldn't be able to withstand it But mentally it would be so much easier than if you're competing once every six to nine months

Yeah, you know that that becomes like a real enough to really get you going yeah Well don't most fighters have their best fights when they have a fight and then a short layoff and then another fight It's like you barely break camp you relax a little bit, and then boom you're already conditioned And you know that back being consistent as a fighter is the like one of the most important things if you're just like consistently training you never really fall off you know what i mean like you get back in the room and you work on things and you actually have a roadmap to go somewhere at the end of this little special you know set again like i lifted weights one time like all right this is what i'm gonna do i'm gonna get stronger during this part of my camp you know what i mean and ryan has me do me do stuff. All right, we're going to work exclusively on this ground and pound.

You know what I mean? Just focus on that thing. It really keeps your mind in tune and learning new stuff. You know what I mean? It's not like just putting in the grind hours. I remember I've been with camps before where you just fight. Let's just fight. Yeah, we talked about this when we were out to dinner the other night in Colorado.

Oh, yeah, yeah. When you first started training with Dan. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about this when we were out to dinner the other night in Colorado. Oh, yeah, yeah. When you first started training with Dan. Yeah, oh, yeah. We just fought. Me and Dan Henderson just fought every day. I was like in a high school gym. I was like, all right, let's fight. Oh, cool.

At first, I was nervous to go train. Then like, man, I don't know. This would be stupid. Man, I showed up to the damn wrestling room at some podunk high school. And he was like well put yourself on we're gonna fight like kind of you know i was like all right let's fight that's what he said we're gonna fight yeah basically i i was like didn't say we're gonna spar nah you know it was that was the didn't matter let's fight let's call it spar call it fun bro and i was so

happy at that time in my life i was was like, oh, yeah, good. No pressure. Just fucking no like, oh, like some trainer with a big ass ego. Just a dude like, and another dude fighting. And then some other guys fighting. Yeah, but how did you guys work on technique? Yeah, we just drilled a little bit, but it was basically like fighting too. There's never a whole lot that's fighting.

Yeah, me and Dan had so much fun. Oh, let's fight let's fight yeah yeah it was just so fun man it's got to be some serious life experience though as far as like for for just the rest of your whole mma career oh yeah the amount of rounds you put in with that fucking savage swinging at you yeah he could punch hard as shit yeah you got to watch out for his right hand yeah fuck yeah you do yeah these right hands ridiculous that uppercut that he caught fedor with that under uppercut that Agabon's hard as shit. Yeah, you got to watch out for his right hand. Yeah, fuck yeah you do. That dude's right hand's ridiculous. That uppercut that he caught Fedor with, that under uppercut. That was just like, aha, you didn't know that was coming. It was hard as fuck, dude.

That angle, though. Yeah, that was a perfect placement, man. He's just so confident in that fucking right hand. We were talking about this before we started doing this podcast. He's reached some new level, man. Throwing a bungalow. Yeah. Straight bungalow.

Listen, there's no secrets anymore. Yeah. I'm going to show you what I'm going to do and then I'm going to do it. Yeah. You know, you got moved so good that it works

on everybody. You're going to do it. Sure, yeah. There's guys. I mean, look at Cody McKenzie and his fucking guillotine. You know, he might never be able to beat

elite level guys, but that guy catches his fucking arm underneathillotine. He might never be able to beat elite-level guys, but that guy catches his fucking arm underneath your chin. He's put 11 dudes out with that shit. And he catches guys. He's got a weird, crazy guillotine where he goes under it, and then he squeezes it and turns it up and presses against it like this and just fucks you up, man. And he's got that shit down laser-tight.

It's funny when a guy's got one move like that. It just can lock his shit up on you. Husamar Paul Harris and his fucking heel hooks. You didn't think his heel hooks were that devastating? You rolled with him, right? Yeah, I wrestled with him. He got me an arm bar.

We were wrestling. I thought I was really worried of that. I was like, here comes one of those crazy things and I jumped out the way. You're real good at foot locks though. Yeah, I'm real good at that stuff. I didn really worried of that. I was like, oh, here comes one of those crazy things. And I jumped out the way. Like, I was like, I knew it was good. Yeah, I'm real good at that stuff. Yeah, I didn't think about it. Yeah, and I'm flexible.

So you got to catch me just right. You know what I mean? Like, you can't. It's just rough to get in there. He's going after those fucking things. You probably just wouldn't tap. That would be your problem. You'd get your shit ripped apart again. Yeah, maybe, yeah.

Like you did with Jacare. Yeah, yeah, maybe, yeah. Yeah, Jacare, I remember watching that. Scrunching up while you were not tapping. I was watching it on TV going, ah! And I didn't even feel any pain. I was like, ah! I was like, all right, what are you doing?

I was like, let go of me. Meanwhile, you tore your ACL, right? Yeah, I think so, yeah. I was like, it popped it out right there. It was crazy. But, you know, in the moment, you don't care. You just, like, you'll do anything. Like, you know, I feel like, man, it would be no problem.

Like, you'll have to carry me out of there. Like, I'm not stopping no matter what. Like, no matter what, I'm just going to keep fighting and keep fighting. What if you got Tim Sylvia'd? What if you're, like, when he fought Frank Mir and his forearm snapped? Yeah, I would fight, of course. Of course. Really?

Yeah, whatever. Just keep fighting. I broke my thumb before, like, and had to turn it around backwards and kept fighting. Yeah, I'd smash my hands and just keep punching with the same hand. Do you worry about if something like the Tim Sylvia thing happened and you got kicked on it again, that your arm might even have to be amputated? Bro, at the time, you do not care about anything. What do you mean?

All you're thinking about is just win the fight. No matter what, you're just thinking that. Just win the fight no matter what. If you catch on fire in the octagon, just keep fighting until you're nothing. That's the only way to do it. We've had these talks before. You're going to be excited right now. If I'm getting killed in there, you better throw the towel in.

Nah, I didn't say don't. It's your responsibility because I won't even care. I'm not going to care. It's your job to make sure I don't die because I don't care. And then I got CR. If I end up retarded,'s gonna kill me like if i break my neck or something i'm like this like i said man just come just shoot me just put me in and put a bullet in my head why would you what if they shot you and then a week later they figured out some new stuff i don't want to be a

vegetable bro i don't want them to remember me as a vegetable. Maybe just for a week. Maybe a vegetable for a week. Get out of here. That doesn't happen, dude. Maybe you'd be a vegetable for a year. Would you be willing to be a vegetable for a year if they could figure out, like, look, Jason, I know you're in there, but in one week. Is it guaranteed a year? The FDA is going to prove. How are you going to guarantee?

Oh, stem cell research? Stem cell rejuvenation surgery. They're going to just put a needle in your spine, inject it with stem cells. I don't know, man. It's going to flow like an avatar tree. Yeah, buddy. I would love that. I changed my mind.

I changed my mind. If I could plug my ponytail into your butt and become you, I want to do that. I want to do that. That would be dope. I would take that. I would take that. Could you imagine? You could find out if people are completely full of shit or not the first time you fucked them.

That would be amazing. That's the key to avatar living. Yeah. Find out if people are full full of shit or not The first time you fucked them That would be amazing That's the key to Avatar living Yeah Find out if people are full of shit This hoe is dirty I connected in the Bitch you ain't never been to France Crazy lying asshole

All right man Let me sit down Sit down buddy I just got amped right now. I'm sorry, guys. That's what you do. That's what you are. That's why you're you.

There's nothing wrong with being crazy and having bursts. Just try to manage it. Do your best. Are those yours or Joe's? They wouldn't. Wait. Did you just ask me if these are my sunglasses or Joe Rogan's sunglasses? I'll take that as a compliment because they're mine.

Wow. I'll take that as a compliment that you would take that as a compliment. Yeah, buddy. How about that? They look good on you. Thanks, man. So anyway, were we talking about rocket ships? No, we're talking about you dealing with fame.

How are you dealing with fame? Oh, yeah. It's weird for sure, man. Freaking out? Was it bully beat down the big step, the first big step? Yeah, but now being back, back damn ultimate fighter status did you feel a different thing man because uh because the people the ufc fans are like like man they're excited fans all over all over the country they're excited they're super excited and up in your face

it's great like it's a whole different realm that i've gone to now so like i'm like oh okay because the bully beat down people there are people who watch tv these are people that watch fights right so they're you know on i don't know it's really interesting to see every and i love everybody you know it's crazy and though ufc got me signed autographs and stuff and i'm doing that um what do you call that uh the the fan expo and in houston you're doing it too yeah so it feels good to like connect with people who love mixed martial arts you know yeah like i'm like oh so it feels good to connect with people who love mixed martial arts. I'm like, oh, yeah, it's cool. It's definitely a different world though too, that's for sure.

And being famous is some drama. Well, you got slowly famous though, right? Did you feel a bump when you started fighting on CBS when you fought Jake Shields? Was there any bump from that? Yeah, of course. That was like a million people watched that, right? Yeah, a lot of people watched it. Was it like a a million how many people watched that on cbs with the brawl the brawl bro the brawl thing oh that thing has been on the internet a billion times everybody

knows that was good for you in the long run in the long run it was at the time you know everybody hates me i'm like yeah i wasn't even i was like it wasn't even me like i had to try to be like i wish i could have been in on those meetings i would have straightened those bitches out right away i swear to god i would have sat all those bitches out right away. I swear to God. I would have sat all those fucks, Coker and all those dummies down. I would have said, listen, why the fuck did he get in the octagon in the first place? Why do you not have people watching the doors? Why do you have so many people?

And if you're going to have a guy come in and talk shit to the other guy, how about you let the other guy have his fucking speech first and you inform him that he's going to be talking to this other guy afterwards. And this is just marketing and trying to set up a fight. They just didn't have control of the cage. And then all of a sudden this one guy gets jumped by a bunch of fucking wild dogs and it's your fault? That's ridiculous.

It's completely, totally ridiculous. The most one-sided perspective that they had just chosen. Mauro looked at you with that famous picture that we talked about. He's giving you the stink eye as you're walking by with a grin on your face in front of Gus Johnson while they're reapplying his makeup. And you're walking by.

It is an epic picture. I wanted to frame that picture. It's epic. It was the best picture I ever saw. It's epic. It explained my whole life right there. Mauro's like tightening up his suit like Mayhem Miller. Shame on you, Mayhem.

Who got that picture there? I'll tell you what, man. I've gotten to know Mauro. I like Mauro Ranallo. I hung out with him at the Muay Thai professionally thing where he was doing comedy. Yeah, he's got some bad, yeah. He kept talking to me. You know, they call me Mauro-Wanna.

That's what they call me. Mauro-Wanna. So we're going to get high. I'm going to get high with Mauro-Wanna. We're going to have a good time. I like that dude, though. He grew on me. Mauro Ranallo grew on me.

That's great. He's a fungus. He's a fungus. No, I like the guy. He's funny. He's always been. He's a fungus. I like the guy. He's funny. He's always been real cool with me. He's a funny cool dude. I had to beef with him a couple times and now I feel good

with him. I had to go hey dude and then he responded and I was like oh okay I can respect that. I see his perspective and he sees my perspective. He doesn't very rarely does he ever say anything negative about fighters. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

Because there's a lot of people out there that think that the way to get attention or the way to be snarky is to criticize fighters. And they do it. The Larry Merchant status? Yeah, like that. If I was 60 years older, I'd kick your ass. Yeah, right. How funny is that? That was the funniest shit ever.

He backpedaled like the next day. No, he didn't. He backpedaled immediately when he came down and talked in front of him. He goes, by the way, I don't believe, really, that if I was 50 years old, I could kick his ass. And he was laughing. I actually respected him for that. It was kind of funny because he was so ridiculous. What if he took him down and ground him?

You never know, bro. You never know. What if he was like, you know, Gracie, even at that age, he has a clinch. He gets the clinch and the trip. Now you are in my world. The ground is the ocean and I am a shark and most people cannot swim. Larry Merchant's badass.

Imagine if Larry Merchant just fucking arm dragged him, took his back, snapped the fucking rear naked choke on him and just rolled forward with the hooks in stretches them out What the fuck goes out hold his own jacket lapel? He holds his own jacket Marcelo Garcia's that bitch Can mayweather be in one boxing glove? There's a dude on the underground I know I know I was laughing at

yeah there's nothing like you know the underground is awesome for good and for bad there's a lot of fucking assholes and angry people and insulting people but there's a lot of fucking cool people on there too that's one of the most unusual

sites and I think a big part of one of the reasons why it's so cool is a huge percentage of the people on there too that's one of the most unusual sites and i think a big part of one of the reasons why it's so cool is a huge percentage of the people on that site train you know on the underground i would say like 30 old school a lot of there's a lot of old school people there too a lot fucking noobs but i remember the submission fighting.com i remember that too yeah right it became mma.tv and then it became mixed martial arts i remember i lost it for a while then it came back yeah i was like oh this is. I remember I lost it for a while, and then it came back. Yeah, I was like, oh, this is the old one. What year did it start?

MMA.TV. I don't know, man. It started like 94 or 5. I remember I had AOL. I was a member back when I was on the old UFC, when I worked for the old UFC. Oh, really? So that was like 97 or 98 I became a member. So I'm going to remember that forever.

Yeah, because it was back in the day. That was crazy, because that's a crazy way to have a sport thrive. a member yeah i'm gonna remember that forever yeah because it was back in the day like that was crazy because that's a crazy way to have a sport like thrive yeah you know what i mean connected on the internet and back then those are the dark times that at a certain point there was no mma on tv at all yeah it was all you had a satellite dish that's why i got a satellite dish because that's the only way you could watch the ufc and then you could watch pride then all of a sudden pride was on too and i was like oh there's another choice way you could watch the UFC. And then you could watch Pride. Then all of a sudden Pride was on too. And I was like, oh, there's another choice. Occasionally you'd have some weird fight that you could buy on pay-per-view

like Hicks and Gracie versus Funaki or something like that. It was Coliseum MMA, some new thing. Yeah, old thing. But it was old at the time. Well, there's not many startup shows ever get on pay-per-view, right? Like the shark fights, is that pay-per-view or is that HDNet? That was pay-per-view. It was? I think so. I think it's HDNet now. I think they did a pay-per-view, right? Like the shark fights, is that pay-per-view? Or is that HDNet? I think it's HDNet now. I think they did a pay-per-view.

It's fucking hard to sell a pay-per-view. I mean... We've got to get a lot of people knowing about it. I know Fedor had one pay-per-view that did miserable, like 10,000 fucking buys. I don't think Pride ever did real well either. No? In the United States? I don't think so. Because you have to

garner hype for a pay-per-view event, though. You know what I mean? If it's nothing, it's just like click, you know. You want to garner hype for it. Like, the UFC couldn't do it unless there was hype, like, created to you know, you really want to watch this pay-per-view. I want to pay the $50. Same thing with boxing. The UFC is so super smart

for putting as much shit on TV and regular TV as they can. Versus and Spike TV and now Fox and FX. The Ultimate Fighter is going to be on FX now, which is going to be fucking huge. That is huge, man. Fights on Fox are going to be nuts, man. Because Louie's on that channel. I love Louie. Well, everything's good. That's a good channel.

That's the best channel ever. They go all the way back to The Shield. You know, that was an innovative show. I watched three or four shows from that, for sure. Four different series on that same channel that's weird fx is badass so they're gonna have having the ultimate fighter on fx they're gonna revamp it too they're gonna figure out some new things and they're even gonna do some live events live on tv like uh actual fights so it's gonna be great ultimate fighter is gonna be live next year right yeah that's what i'm talking about that's crazy that's yeah yeah i love it i

think it's a fantastic idea it's's a fucking great idea. Yeah, isn't it? It's going to be wicked. It's going to be a wicked show. That would change the whole experience of it. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah. People knowing that a million people are going to watch it, yeah, then the pressure is going to be different

and it's going to be creepy. A million people watching it live as it plays off but in there, what do you hear? You hear just 10 people yelling, 20 people yelling.

It's awesome. Yeah, that's going to be badass. So only the fights will be live and the rest of the show will be like what's building up to this? yelling 20 people yelling it's awesome yeah that's gonna be that's gonna be badass so only the fights will be live and the rest of the show will be like what's building up to this it'll be like 24 7 in that yeah that sounds exactly that sounds pretty badass they're gonna have a you know a storyline will play out and then you know the people will be warming up waiting for the storyline to end and boom we go right into the fight crazy yeah the fans vote on who fights

is that a good question i don't know it's a it works? I don't know. It's a good question. I don't think that's a good idea, though. I like the idea of strategy, picking. It's important. It makes the show, yeah. I feel like during my experience, and people are going to watch it on Spike right now, is that the fight picking and the strategy of it is a big, cool part of the show. I think fans should be able to vote what they think is going to happen. Vote who you think is going to win. God damn it, why

the fuck can't they bet on it? That makes me sick. This nanny state little bitch ass government we have. You should be able to bet on that everywhere. When you go to the goddamn corner and you buy lottery tickets, you should be able to bet on Henderson versus Shogun. I'll take 50 bucks on Henderson. Come on,

you should be able to do that. Why can't you do that? It's ridiculous. People protecting people from their own impulses and all the rest of us who can deal with it suffer. You're a social Darwinist. You got to go to Vegas to place a bet. That's ridiculous. I should be able to bet everywhere.

I should be able to have betting places. As long as they're legitimate and they pay their taxes. Jesus Christ. Sports betting is illegal. Are you scared that dumb people are just going to blow all their money in the street immediately? There's a lot of that. People protest against any vices. People protest against anything that's tempting.

They protest against strip clubs for the same reason. They don't want vice near them. They don't want temptation. For people that can fucking handle it and enjoy it, it's a real pain in the ass, man. It's a real pain in the ass you can't just bet on fights. It makes it much more interesting, even with your friends. If you watch fights with your buddies,

do you ever bet, like, I'll bet if I got five bucks on this dude, even if you don't even know him, you're watching a Tough Enough or something like that. You're like, I'll take five bucks on this skinny white dude. Let's do it. It makes it more exciting. That's for sure. It does, right? You're invested. Yes. Why the fuck isn't that legal?

That drives me nuts. There's a lot of dumb people who would just spend all their money and you could trick the dumb people into giving you all their money. I'm 44 years old and as I get older, I start thinking I am probably going to eventually expire

and none of this shit will have changed. It would be just as ridiculous it was when I was seven, when I was a little boy. It's going to be just as fucking stupid. I don't know if it is. We're involved in three different fucking wars right now. The economy is based on unfixable bullshit that nobody understands. The whole idea of what America is supposed to be is in decline. Well, I know, but if you keep a positive mental attitude and try to affect change in any way you can, you're feeding into the solution and not the cause.

That's true. You know what I'm saying? You can't just go, fuck, this shit is shitty. Let me just fucking hide. That is true. You got to just go head on and everybody has got to do their part and get positive with it where we're going to build shit up. Yeah, that's right. Give me some Muay Thai music.

And I'm just saying, all of this deserves to get pushed upwards and not just quit. Dude, you should do seminars and motivation and get CEOs. Get them up there and explain the mayhem philosophy. I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm working on it anyway. Do it to this Muay Thai music. Yeah, you're damn right. You go out with those ankle bracelets on.

Thank you for listening to Mayhem Management. See, side one, tape two. You certainly should try to push for positivity. You certainly should try to push things in the right direction. But at a certain point in time, you wonder, like, man, am I going to die and pot's still going to be illegal? No, man. The government's still going to be corrupt. And it's like, I'm going to leave this earth exactly the same way I came in.

Nah, man. It's a fucking mess. It's not going to change in to leave this earth exactly the same way I came in. Nah, man. It's a fucking mess. It's not going to change in my lifetime. People have made that argument forever, though. Yeah, they have. But you've got to do it. Yeah, you're right. It's like saying,

that was the good old days. It's not quick enough. Evolution's not quick enough. I'm, you know, I feel like it needs to catch the fuck up. I think social evolution needs to catch the fuck up. The evolution of the human being

and its interaction with its environment needs to catch up. Why? Because technology is on this fever pitch of technology and the human animal and it's all ridiculous bullshit that it drags along with it is lagging behind. That's what I think. What? I mean, so eventually we're all going to be plugged into the

computers like the transcendent man, right? Most likely. Something along those lines is going to happen. It just seems to me that that's inevitable that our integration is so fucking complete as it is without it being a part of our actual physical body you leave your fucking cell phone at home and it feels like you left your dick in a jar i think it's going to be to the point where like our plastic surgery is going to be like taking out your eye and upgrading your eyes with the new night vision eye and stuff like that like you're going to just start replacing parts in your body. Yeah, of course.

That would be awesome. But there's going to be people to clock block all that stuff too because people are afraid of science and technology. Jesus, people. Yeah, but if there's money to be had in it, it will probably exist as long as it can be patented. The real issue is when things are awesome and people are scared of them and they're not patentable like plants that are psychedelic plants,

and that's the reason why those things are illegal. Because if psychedelic plants were just the result of some fucking formula that someone figured out in a lab and he had a patent on it, well, by Jiminy Cricket, that shit would be available to prescribe for someone if they had some sort of an ailment, because there's a fuckload of money to be made from MDMA for post-traumatic stress disorder. If somebody had created that and owned it

and it hadn't been demonized, it would be, for sure, something that they would make a shitload of money off of. Psychedelics are coming back in medicine now. There's a little resurgence lately. There is, yeah. It's fascinating, isn't it? Finally, people are starting to accept.

The cancer patients? For a bunch of, yeah. Terminal ill patients given one dose of mushrooms one time, still 12 months later, had significant benefits for accepting what's going on with them. Dr. People have had cancer and taken ayahuasca and the cancer has gone into remission because they believe that it's completely altered the way they look and think about their body and the way they-

Dr. Ayahuasca? Dr. It allows their body to naturally heal itself and to be relaxed to the point where its immune system can function correctly. Dr. Where's ayahuasca from? Guatemala or something? Dr. Ayahuasca is this orally active form of DMT. We talked about it so many times in this podcast, but for the people who don't know what it is,

in the jungles of South America, they've figured out a way to take the leaves of one plant, which contain DMT, and the vine of another plant, which contains an MAO inhibitor, which makes DMT orally active. Breaking open the head. Yeah, he definitely covers that. I read that book a long time.

Anthony Bourdain do that in one of his shows? Yes, he did. Did he? He said he didn't get off. He said it was interesting and cool. But what I've heard from people, especially from McKenna, used to talk about how when you go down to South America, they have to really trust you before they dose you up.

They don't want some crazy gringos running around howling at the moon. So they give you like weak doses. And he was saying that as the tourism of these ayahuasca communities become more and more prevalent, as more and more people go down to have this experience, there's a lot of people that are having bad trips. And there's a lot of people that are wary about the gringos. So they come in and you come in with a fucking camera crew. And you're like, hey, I want to try this ayahuasca.

And you got a ring on your thumb, your thumb, like Bourdain does. They're going to look at you, yeah, yeah, yeah, give him some weak-ass shit. I don't know. He doesn't get to see our God. Get out of here. But if you have the strong shit, I mean, everybody says when you take the strong shit that the experience is undeniable. So it seemed to me that, like, I've heard people have DMT trips like that, too. I met a woman on a plane back from Brazil.

That was the whole reason she was there. Well, they'll tell you. She going for ayahuasca a spiritual journey yeah well dmt is legal in it's legal in brazil as well there's two different churches something universidad de vegetal and another one that's something there's two different churches that use dmt as a sacrament along with using Christianity. So they pray about Jesus and then they take ayahuasca. Yeah, it's fucking nuts, man. Interesting. Yeah, but it's legal somehow or another. And it actually won in the Supreme Court. Oh, Brazil? Yeah, no, in America.

Oh, in America? In America. They brought it over from Brazil. They're accepted in Brazil and they're accepted that this is their sacrament, this ayahuasca tea. Darrell Bock So you can take this legit? Pete Slauson Under religious freedom then? Darrell Bock Yes, under religious freedom you can take it. There's sects in, I know for sure, in New Mexico.

Pete Slauson Yeah. Darrell Bock Yeah, but I think there's other places in America too. Pete Slauson So you just convert to this religion? Darrell Bock Yeah, you just convert, just take some DMT and sing songs about Jesus. Pete Slauson That sounds like a weekend right there, bro. Darrell Bock And when you're high on DMT, there's songs

about Jesus. Pete Slauson That sounds like a weekend right there, bro. Darrell Bock Well, apparently they have really strong stuff too. i have a friend who did it and went through the whole experience and said it's so bizarre he said first of all everyone's wearing uniforms they wear like the same clothes and they're wearing uniforms and they're taking this really strong dmt brew and they're singing songs about jesus and he said it's like what the fuck is going on here it's like it's so weird there's so many different messages there. It's so strange.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, I would hate to be tripping balls and Jesus yelling at me. Or not, man. Maybe you get used to it and you start to like it. And what Jesus represents to you is something like super duper positive and, you know, really loving and all knowing. And, you know, and then in actually thinking about this thing, you can actually manifest those types of thoughts and ideas. And that's why they do it.

Yeah, I can understand that. I can understand being in a group of people, and no matter what it is, they're using Jesus as the target. You guys are all connected. You know what I mean? I felt that experience before. It's unfortunate that Bourdain didn't get a good dose. I would have loved to have heard his fucking full blast-off trip story. Why don't you go into it? Because of the alligators?

I don't want to go to the Amazon. Why not, man? I would love to do it here. But people are doing it here first of all. There's shamans who've been trained that have come to America and I know where

I could do it here. I know a bunch of people I could do it here with. You can do it here especially in Hawaii. Van Nuys? There's a bunch of people who do it in Hawaii.

What's that? Let's do it in Van Nuys. You can do it in places. How long does it last? You don't have to go to the jungle. I don't want to do it. Five hours.

We're going to Keys. We're going to Riverside, bro. You know, this is one of the things I want to talk to you about before we were talking about why I like to live in the woods. You know, why I like to live way the fuck away from people. Yeah. I believe that one of the best reasons why you take ayahuasca in the jungle is that you are in this place where the energy of the plant and the experience, it all comes from this one spot. And that one spot doesn't have a lot of Wi-Fi signals. It doesn't have pollution.

I get it. This doesn't have cell phones fucking flying through your ear and radiation. It's just nature, man. And there's a silence that comes with real nature. And all you hear is animals and monkeys. You've never been deer hunting? No. You've never been deer hunting? No, I've never been deer hunting. You're sitting in a tree stand looking at a beautiful ridge.

Just like thinking, I'm going to kill you. And you're sitting there, and it's just so beautiful. And you're meditating. You're zen. You're sitting there, and the sun is coming up. And man, I can see it's super zen. And just looking for any movement or hear any sound. It's crazy. It's like a different level. You're a real predator any movement or hear any sound. It's crazy.

It's like a different level. You're a real predator. You're really tuning in. That's what I mean, yeah. And you don't move. You don't move. I want to do ayahuasca in a hospital because that's where life and death is created. That would be a bad shit, dude.

That would be like a headquarters. You'd be like scratching your face off in a corner. Like, I don't know, dude. I read about Mark Zuckerberg, the guy who produced Facebook. He started hunting and gathering his own food now because he wanted to take responsibility for the food he ate. He was just going to eat vegetables unless it's meat he killed himself. So he shot a fucking bison.

Nice. I like that. I like that idea, man. It's cool. The hunter-gatherer needs is just like, it's very much like the pussy needs. If you neglect them, they'll go some weird direction. I think he's just practicing for Facebook to collapse. He's like, I need to figure out how to make food.

Facebook and civilization. Yeah. He's got a compound, I'm sure, by now. That guy's got billions of dollars, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah. Some crazy-ass money. He should have killed it with a knife. Dude, compounds are the way to go.

If you can afford it, a big place. That's what I said about you on the way over here, because you're on a compound. Yeah, that's the way to do it. What? Oh, you mean like... I want to go deep. I want to go deep. High fence, compounds.

I can't wait to come to your compound, dude. That's going to be awesome. Can you imagine that? People hired to patrol the perimeter. Whatever, dude. We're going to ride... Wild animals inside. That's what I mean.

You should have your own fire truck. Yeah. Can we have mountain lions? Well, there's a thing called the fire break system that you can set up on roofs now. And what it is is when a certain heat is reached, they disperse this chemical all over your roof that makes the house much less vulnerable to fire. So you've got to set things like that up. If you're going to live in the woods, you've got to clear out the area all around your house and make sure that you've got the fuck, fucking most powerful fireproof windows available.

And set up that fire break system. Wait, where are we talking here? Make sure you can remote control your sprinkler system too, all around the house. And still you're probably fucked. But still you're probably fucked because those embers fly through the air and they just land on shit. Do you have a survival kit put together?

Oh yeah, I have one. I've got food stocked up, water stocked up. I made fun of people up until two weeks embers fly through the air and they just land on shit. Do you have a survival kit put together? Oh yeah, I have one. Let me tell you something. I've always used to make... I've got food stocked up, water stocked up. I made fun of people up until two weeks ago. Remember in San Diego, Orange County, that blackout? Blackout happened. I realized I got a three and a half month old baby at home, a four year old, my wife,

and I am completely unprepared. I have no food. I have no way to keep anything cold. I have no way to heat anything up. Then I drove down the hill and it's dark where I live in Dana Point. It's totally dark. Gas stations don't work. Then I'm thinking, wait a minute.

I don't get that good of mileage on my car. How quick till I run out of gas and you can't pump any gas? I think it would take four or five days for things just to go completely. Can you store gas at your house? How? In your trash can? Not really. Put it in a giant ass tank and have your own gas at your house yeah that's legit you could do it can you i'm sure you're allowed to i don't think you're allowed to wait time out you're

not allowed to have a bunch of gas in your backyard no if you have a garage you can do is you can wait are you wait you had your own gas station in your house yeah you could fuel up like you get a gas tank that's farmers do it youers do it. You're saying it's illegal? I think if you're a farmer, you probably can do it because that's your business. But I don't think you can have a gas station on your lawn. It's probably zoned. It's probably zoned.

Just have a bicycle. That would be the dopest shit ever. If you had your own gas station, you would think that Jay Leno, maybe that you could do. You could buy a shitty gas station and just use it for your own personal gas. Nah, bro. Gas stations go under less than right. Maybe Jay Leno does have a thing on his house, and I'm imagining it.

Actually, am I making that up? Do gas stations ever go under? Gas stations seem to be open all the time. When was the last time a gas station went over? I guess they do. Some of them go out of business. I'll tell you when. When?

When? Downtown Boston, there's no gas station. It's true. The two that were there, closed. It's true. It's true. I know because

we ran out of gas. We ran out of gas on the way somewhere and I made us leave. Oh, okay. I have a little bit left in the car. We drove all around.

It's like driving downtown Boston. Right, yeah. So we finally stopped. We went to the fire station and asked for gas. Really? Mm-hmm.

I had to hire a driver. It cost me 50 bucks to drive me. It took probably a 10-minute drive Yeah, like went to the fire station, asked for gas. Really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's crazy. I had to hire a driver. It cost me 50 bucks to drive me. It took probably a 10-minute drive from where we stayed in Boston. To go get some gas. Mm-hmm. And go back to your car. And go back.

Yeah, Boston's a weird place with zoning and shit, too. They really prize their historical relevance, so you've got to be real careful where you build things. It's a trip, though. When you drive down, you see those signs on some of the buildings. Built in 1650. Yeah, for sure. Look at Beacon Hill. That whole neighborhood was from, what, 1700s?

Yeah, isn't that nuts? That is nuts, bro. Walking around there, I felt like I was back in time a bunch of times. Beacon Hill is weird, too, because isn't a lot of it like apartments? Yep. There are old-ass buildings. All in the park right there. Big buildings that are like houses.

They're sort of apartments, but houses. Yeah, row houses connected to each other, and they're worth a shitload of money. Two, three, four, five million dollars. And there's no backyard. You get nothing. Nothing. No backyard.

Just a house jammed right next to another house. Looks cool, though. Looks cool. And across the street is a park. Yep. I ran through that all the time. It was crazy. Boston Commons.

Yeah, it was crazy. Great city. I love that city the time. It was crazy. Boston Commons. Yeah. It's crazy. Great city. Yeah. It's amazing. I love that city, man. It's amazing. This is really awesome. Like, you know,

just to see all that old stuff. You were just like shocked. We had the ultimate Boston experience. St. Paddy's Day dropkick Murphy's at the House of Blues.

It couldn't get any more but on St. Paddy's Day it was crazy. Oh my God. I'm going to England to Birmingham. We're going for the UFC in November and I think I'm going to take a trip to Stonehenge. I'm going to go check that shit out.

I want to see some real old monuments. Yeah. That'd be cool. What is that, anyway? No one even got it. I don't know. They believe it's some sort of a calendar. They don't know exactly who built it.

It's a fascinating little piece of sculpture. What if it was just some caveman who was like, whatever. It's a good thing, man. Yeah. I mean, but it is weird. Yeah. a weird uh weird structure you know it's weird because it's you know how do they do like could they i don't know is there some strange thing like how do they get that up they don't know but probably levers and you know probably in a system maybe there's like a bunch of trees over there before it was probably a big mountain and they

just carved it out out of the mountain it looks like they carried it hmm there's a there's a crazy carving into the mountains of a horse you ever seen that it's like this white carving i don't know how the fuck they did it but it's carved they don't even know who did it just thousands of years old wait is where's that in england yeah in england yeah yeah you know there's there's stuff like that that they sort of found and no one remembers how it got there. Stonehenge is a perfect example. They found it, and by the time they found it, when modern times people found it, they were like, what the fuck is this? And everybody's like, that?

Yeah. What the fuck is that? I can't remember. We did this so long ago. We weren't here for years. It's been around for so long. And then they have crop circles all over the place down there, too. Such a freaky fucking little place.

What do you mean crop circles? Crop circles. You ever seen crop circles? Those designs that show up in wheat fields? Yeah. Some of them. Oh, they did that back in the day? Yeah, and it's the ultimate.

The ultimate, what they are, for sure, a lot of them are hoaxes. A huge percentage of them. Yeah, I thought the kids did that. And when I say hoaxes, that doesn't mean the rest of them are made by aliens. But I think there's some crazy technology involved in it. And I don't know if we have a full assessment and accounting of all the technology that the government or that anyone at the highest level of science really possesses right now. I don't necessarily know, especially when it comes to military intelligence. I think we've always had a lot of secrets in this country,

and it's very likely that there's things that can produce crop circles, like they can shoot down a fucking laser beam on a certain patch of earth and create a pattern in the sand or in the wheat fields. I don't think that's beyond the realm of possibility. If you can have nuclear weapons, if you can have international instant communication via cell phone networks and data plans where you can send photographs and videos to another person on the other side of the fucking world almost instantaneously, I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility to think that you could somehow or another imprint something from a satellite or something flying overhead. Yeah, but what would be the benefit of doing that, though? Who knows?

I don't know. I don't know why. Because it's pretty. You know what? It might be simply someone figured out how to do it, and they wanted to implement whether or not they could. And then once they had it, they just keep fucking with people and making patterns. If you could make up all kinds of crazy shit, why would my thing be like, hey, I want to

push down the crops? Well, it's a good question. Why would I waste my talents on that? If I was that smart, I would do something way cooler and make way more money. You say that, but listen, some of them are hoaxes, and some of them are beautiful. These hoaxes are amazing. I mean, when I say hoaxes, we know, I mean,

they're human-created works of art, not a mystery whatsoever. And these human-created works of art, they've done, like, these guys called the Circle Makers. They've got a website called circlemakers.org. Yeah, they just crushed down the corner. Yeah, well, they have the boards, and they measure things, and they do these dope-ass designs. But what they've done is question and shown that you can make these crop circles on your own. But some of them are weird, man.

Some of them, they show up in like an hour. You have to believe these people's reports, which is sketchy at best, of course. But you're dealing with these people that have no reason to lie, these farmers. They fly over an area and then they come back an hour later. And there's something that's three football fields long, and it's got 690 perfect circles in it of varying sizes, all in some sort of a fractal pattern. Yeah, you said the first sentence was the most important thing.

Like, wait, you're selling tickets to see this at your farm? Yeah, this guy is a farmer. He gets no attention whatsoever. Hey, guys, look at this crop circle. Oh, my God, it's a farmer who has a crop circle. 100%. Listen, some of them, for sure, guys, look at this crop circle. Oh, my God, it's a farmer who has a crop circle. 100%. Listen, some of them, for sure, definitely, no question at all. But some of them are gigantic and most certainly would have been

they would have taken enough time that people would have noticed. Like, they've hired people to do them for advertisers, and it's very time-consuming. It's extraordinarily time-consuming. It hurts. It's not something you can't bang off. You can't bang off these giant things inside of, you know, inside of an hour or whatever the fuck these people are saying. So if they're telling the truth, then it could possibly be something else.

It doesn't necessarily have to be just always people flattening boards out. And I know there's a lot of other science behind it, in quotes science, because they've detected there's growth nodes and areas where the stems of the plant has actually exploded, like it had been microwaved. And then instead of just being bent over, these things have had some almost like boiled with energy. You're saying there's symptoms? Like sometimes it does that? Yeah. I wouldn't say symptoms.

I would say evidence that points to the fact that this is all shit. By the way, hold on. This is all shit that I've read on the internet, so I have no idea how much of this is 100% legit. But the idea is that what people question about the crop circles, the so-called crop circle experts and aficionados, one of the things they point to is the fact that there's an actual change in the chemical structure of the plant once it's been turned into this circle. That something has happened to it and it's been heated up. Bigfoot. Like I said, it could be some sort of technology.

Say if you wanted to etch something with lasers onto a piece of metal. You could program a design into a computer and that computer could etch something. If you had a laser big enough and powerful enough, it could be as big as my Doom poster. You could make some design

with a laser in that just using a computer. Why couldn't you do that from a satellite down on some fucking wheat field? Of course you could. It would be just as possible, I think. If you've got the potential to do it at close range, and then we know there's a lot of shit that we do at long range, and we also know that lasers, you know, a powerful laser doesn't really lose its power over a long distance, right?

Isn't that the case? Like these laser things, like one of the things that's dangerous about those laser pens those really powerful ones yeah you can point them at fucking planes and they literally will hit the cockpit or five miles yeah oh really yeah it's incredible and i wonder if the case could be made that you know if you could do that with a laser maybe you could do that with something that mimics a laser but it's some in some way or another is like an etcher, a manipulator. Star Wars.

It does something. Yeah. Who the fuck knows? I mean, at a certain point in time, you've got to look at things that we absolutely know people have done. There's a goddamn space station up there, and they shoot rockets filled with people, and they go up and dock with this thing, and everybody's hanging out there and partying in the space. We know that's real. As bizarre as that is, shooting people in giant metal tubes propelled by fire up into

the sky to dock with some floating metal fucking machine that's up there. So you think the government has just protected us from ourselves? Like, we don't want you to know about this awesome crop circle machine? No. I think there's a lot of things that they do on the sneak tip, like drones, and there's bugs that look like bugs, but they're spy cameras, and drones that are completely unmanned. Like Minority Report? Yeah. Oh, dude, they've got some legit shit that looks like little bugs, and it flies around, and it can fly to Iraq.

I mean, they've got some incredible technology. And you would think that something like this, like something that you could make a crop crop circle with you could also use to do all kinds of crazy shit with i mean if there's a sort of a technology that can manipulate the patterns in wheat fields like maybe there's certain things that you could do it where it just barbecues someone out of the fucking sky maybe crop circles are level one yeah maybe yeah maybe or it's just practicing where it hits like the accuracy like that's the market like from gears of of War Part 1. Could you imagine if they figure out a way to have a satellite that flies over a city, and any time you want something done, it just zooms in like Google Earth,

has an instant close-up view of you, and you disappear. Bleh! Just boom. Eventually we'll have the technology for that. Sizzle, pop, big crater, and that's it. No person. Probably close. Pretty close. Probably close. Yeah. And the accuracy of establishing something like that, pop a big crater and that's it no person probably close pretty close probably close yeah you know

and the accuracy of establishing something like what better way to demonstrate the accuracy than make a fucking design in a wheat field say look we can do this really you're connecting those things who knows dude that's a far-reaching connection though so is everything that we do every day of the week so is the internet so is space travel All right, so you're discounting this though. Everybody and their fucking brother on the planet is a reporter now. That's why the Arab Spring sprung up.

Guess why? Everybody's twittering each other about how let's fuck this regime. Everyone's connected now. So now, okay, so now we would know if somebody had a technology

to do something and it hasn't done it, somebody would know. Unless that technology was created at Area 51. And if that was the case, they have a long-seated history of only allowing people in there that absolutely fucking know how to keep a secret. Because there's a lot of shit that's gone down at Area 51 and very few credible reports of any of it. Dr. Robert Lazar might be the only one, and he's been shown to probably be a liar. The problem is people talk.

I just gave you an example. Area 51. Dude, there's thousands of people over decades have worked at Area 51 developing secret technology. Because they're patriots. Because they believe in this country. Because they work for the military. Because that's a part of their job.

They're a part of a big thing. When you're a part of developing military weapons, secret military weapons, there's a certain amount of pride a part of their job. They're a part of a big thing. When you're a part of developing military weapons, secret military weapons, there's a certain amount of pride a lot of those guys take in the fact that they are developing the very best weapons and they're developing them in secret in these fucking bunkers that are built in the side of mountains. They didn't even admit. Eventually you've got to

show the weapon though. Yes, and they have. That's where the fucking stealth bomber came from. It's all directly in Area 51. There's a lot of nutty shit that they worked on for years. But this whole Area 51, they didn't even admit it existed until I believe it was the 90s when they wanted to spread the amount of land that they controlled and was top secret because too many people were getting close and they were taking videos, taking videos of what looks like UFOs,

what looks like most likely unmanned drones flying through the night air and dancing and doing shit that we could never do on a fucking airplane. Fuck yeah. A lot of video of that shit. I know, but once they start using it though, it makes the news. But dude, they had to say that it existed in order to get this extra land.

Before that, they denied its existence. There was no satellite Google Earth back then. So you couldn't say show me what's going on in the Nevada desert. And then, boom, you tune into a couple hours outside of Vegas. There's this crazy fucking place called Groom Lake. And this is like a dried-up lake bed. And the government is fucking testing UFOs out there, whatever UFO is.

Stealth bomber, to me, I've seen them in real life. At Edwards Air Force Base, we were filming Fear Factor out there. That's a fucking UFO, man. This black wing thing flying over your head, that's like right out of Star Wars. You know? Is it loud at all? It was like any regular jet. It wasn't unusually loud.

It was far enough away. It wasn't like right over my head where it was like coming in low. You know, we were in Palmdale, and Edwards Air Force Base is like a little bit outside of it but you did get the whole thing what makes a ufo awesome is that it flies super fast from the middle of nowhere like it just stopped like what makes you go that's a ufo is not it's flying and it sounds like a jet it's like the hummingbird shit yeah it just zips everywhere and you know i always see the lights in the sky stuff and and what we can't figure it out but like And what? We can't figure it out. But I feel like we can't figure it out right now.

If somebody doesn't want us to know, they're really not going to let us know. I know you're really pumped on fucking Area 51. But I'm like, well, if we can't know, if they're going to tell us fuck you, what can we really say? They're in charge. It's a sexy idea. It's something that's fun to just keep around. The idea of UFOs and aliens. Dude, according to Dr. Robert Lazar,

they tried to back-engineer the fucking craft, and they couldn't, man. We don't have that element on Earth. It establishes beyond a reasonable doubt it's from another planet, and their dicks get hard with geek knowledge. They just want it to be an alien. They want it to be alien. I don't get it though i'm just like all right cool if it's alien

i can't wait because i want to play with them you know what i'm saying like i want to see these these guys just as fascinating to me when something's man-made that's just as fascinating yeah me too i think that's all more awesome like for you sure because to me the fact that scientists stood on top of scientists shoulders For generations I can't even understand They just stood on top of each other's shoulders for generations Read all this geeky stuff That I don't have the chance to read

Or didn't let myself read And then built this Or cured a disease That's crazy That's a beautiful thing to me That's like the most important thing in society. Like we should be really rewarding that because that's what's going to push us forward.

That's what, you know, you know what I'm saying? Exactly. Exactly, Red Band. I got to do my Y crew. That's how much I love technology. Yes. Technology is awesome.

I agree. Right? Well, that was hard to sell you on. Sorry, Joe Rogan. I had. Right? Well, that was hard to sell you on. Sorry, Joe Rogan. I had to talk you up. What kind of crazy shit are you incorporating into training now? Because I know you're always at the fucking front of the line when it comes to weird technology.

After every UFC, we come back with a couple new drills for next week. Like what's good? What's high in the streets? Front kicks to the face. Yeah, right? Or certain positions. Like if someone does something,

you go, wait a minute, that's there all the time. And then you develop drills based around that. It leads into... Like we start... Our whole ground and pound stuff started like that. Science!

Do you know the baby arm? I got one in my pants. What? What are you talking about? Baby arm. That's the weirdest name for a move ever. Tim Bosch fought this past weekend.

He fought Nick Ring, and he had him in this position. There's a position when you're in side control, when you're facing the guy's legs, and you've got his arm wrapped up in between your legs. You know that mounted crucifixion everybody likes to do? Yeah, but you sit sideways. You sit sideways, and you face towards towards his legs and you grab his arm. His arm is in between your legs like a giant dick. You call it the baby arm.

You just grab his wrist and you can break his arm. It's right there. It's right there on everybody. And nobody does it. They just hold on to the arm. But if you just grab that wrist, you can completely control it. And you can just snap his elbow. There's a tremendous amount of force in there.

Yeah. Yeah. Baby arm. Crazy leverage. I'll show it to you. Yeah. I wanted to show Bosh after his fight. It's a John John Machado move. He invented it. in there. Yeah. Yeah. Baby arm. Crazy leverage. I'll show it to you. Yeah. I wanted to show Bosh after his fight. It's a John Jock Machado move.

He invented it. Old school. Yeah. It's old school. I love that. John Jock Machado. He didn't call it the baby arm. He didn't call it the baby arm.

That's Eddie Bravo named the baby arm. Of course. John Jock's like, from here to here, I have his wrist. This is an armbar right here. You see that? Right there.

Easy. This is an armbar. The Brazilians have the coolest accents of all time I feel like the new up and coming kids I feel like are not getting the real experience Of having a Brazilian coach With a funny accent Who barely speaks English

Look for me Look for me here This position right here No good Push me away Okay Not that This position, right here, no good. No good, his arm. His arm no good. Push me away. Push me away. Push me away. Okay.

Not now. Not that, okay? See, and I had my guy, too. I had my old school Jacare, my freaking coach from back in the day. He gave me a gi, and I was like, dang, and it was so old and crusty. I was like, damn, coach, man, this gi is real nasty. He's like, Jason, listen listen when you get a horse for a present you don't watch his teeth and i was like what what the hell does that mean i don't

understand oh you get a whole oh gift horse you don't look at it in the mouth oh i get it you don't watch his teeth i'm like what do you mean i don't watch his teeth i took classes at uh carlson gracie's and carlson didn't even speak English at all. Oh, really? He didn't even try. He would talk in Portuguese, and then Sergio Cohen, a dude who barely spoke English, would then give you your instruction. Awesome. Yeah.

That's even better. Or he would talk to John Iwano, and John Iwano speaks perfect English. Yeah. You know what? I want to just get a dude to translate all my coaching. I'll just be talking gibberish like just yelling and screaming

then Ryan will be like he wants you to go front headlocks right now do you get frustrated when you hear certain dudes coaching do you get frustrated when you hear

is it like comedians like judge other comedians like oh god you went there yeah did the coach do some hack shit I'd like to say that didn't happen

but probably bro do it for your family yeah we hate all your family time ryan tell the truth yeah if a guy has stupid coaching we do make fun of them don't we yeah but that being said i've said some dumb stuff too you know who my favorite guys are listen my favorite guys to listen to are rampages coaches the english dudes yeah get! They fucking, they yell and scream and they do it in an accent. Are those Biswings coaches, I hope? Are they? Are they the same guys? Are they the Wolfslayer guys?

I think so, yeah. You've got to close the range! They have such an awesome accent. The English accent is one of my favorite all-time accents. It's pretty funny. That's why we use it for infomercials. Whenever we're trying to sell something important, they use the English accent because the English accent is fucking legit, man.

This is some serious fly fishing line, I'm telling you. The finest fly fishing line. This is the best gold investment that I'll ever make. The highest quality brass hooks. In their defense, though, maybe that was a cue for something. Maybe that they rehearsed something in the gym that close the distance means...

Yeah, do this. Do this. Oh, yeah, sure. Going to a phrase. Like baby arm. He does. Baby arm. Yeah.

And we do that sometimes. Yeah, of course, right? Who's to say? Maybe it was spot on. Well, Rampage is so fucking talented physically, but it's just so, you know, everyone knows what he's going to do, you know? I mean, if he gets you, you're fucked. If he gets a hold of you, he puts those hands on you.

He could put out anybody. Rampage can put out anybody. If you fuck up and, you know, you let him get into his game and get a hold of you, you're done. But Jon Jones, man, he figured out how to definitely not let Rampage fight his game. I mean, that's what it was. It was Rampage fighting Jon Jones' game. He had a perfect fucking game plan for his body and Rampage's style. It's amazing to watch, wasn't it?

A lot of mercy. Beautiful fight. Definitely, yeah. Does that inspire the fuck out of you when watch, wasn't it? A lot of mercy. Beautiful fight. Definitely, yeah. Does that inspire the fuck out of you when you see shit like that? Yeah, of course. And I felt like Jon Jones did a great job of his game plan and sticking to it. And then he took Rampage out of his game plan

and didn't let Rampage do what he was good at. It's great. It was cool to watch that, man. It was amazing. Amazing that he's been able to do that so quick. It's fun to watch his evolution it's weird right who the fuck has ever gotten that good that quick you know uh yeah i mean that makes sense i mean stephen bonner was what was that two years ago or something like that was it even was it even two years ago i don't know i'm just guessing i'm not gonna go to search shirt dog and check it out but you know i think he started

fighting in 2008 yeah and when did he get to the ufc in 2009 it was like nine months later he had like six fights but they were fought really close it's amazing to one another it's amazing when you watch every now and there's some dude will come along in any sport where you just go whoa what the fuck you know someone all of a sudden just jumps way ahead of the line. Yeah, yeah. You know? It's like a genetic mutation. Yeah, when he beat up Shogun, dude, that was literally like, if you were from another planet, okay, and you came in and you were watching these,

you know, these species, you would say, oh, this is interspecies combat. This is one species going up against another species. Oh, this Shogun species, this really can't fuck with this other thing. Why is he doing that? That's sort of like a grasshopper fucking with a praying mantis. You know what I mean? We're like two different things.

I'm looking at Shogun, the way he throws his punches, the way he throws his kicks. It's a guy who's got an arm that goes this long. But when you've got an arm that goes way the fuck across the room, and it's attached to a body that's spent a lifetime learning how to manipulate other people's bodies and control them and throw them around and wrestling, it's literally like two different species.

You know? But his fucking giant 84 inch wingspan, yeah, it is like two different things. You go like, well, there's this one thing. I guess they could breed and they could have a child, but really they're different. So you're proposing the Shogun and Jon's this one thing. I guess they could breed and they could have a child, but really they're different. So you're proposing the Shogun and Jon Jones bone? No.

I'm proposing that if we mixed up a female Shogun. What do you think of this Chaz Bono picture where she's walking around with no shirt on? This is what I say. Oh, wait. Where's that? Have you seen that? She walks around outside with no shirt on. It's hot out.

So she's got these giant scars where she used to have breasts. So she had her breast meat removed. And now she's just flat chested but with a woman's nipple. But she's like belly. She's got like a lot of nipples. She's got a ferocious. What do you think about Nancy Grace's nipple? That's all I was thinking about the entire time we were talking about this. I love how Nancy Grace's boobs stole the tranny's thunder

like like what the hell like no i don't i don't even know what the big deal is i don't think of it as a tranny it's right when it's a girl the term becomes a guy so she's gonna grow i mean is she look at that what's the picture she's walking around that's a man that's not even worth looking at it's so weird she's a guy She's got a beard now It's a dude Yeah it's a dude You know Those nipples are I don't know man

I think transgender people Get a bad rap I do too I think you know Do whatever you want to do man As long as that makes you happy If that really does However

I think it's strange The nipple thing That's a legit news source You would never be able To show a photo Of a woman's nipple before But because she has committed to the life of a man now you can see her nipple that is what i found fascinating i don't know i think in america

in general people just need to like get over sex anyway like i feel like it's like you make it you make it this scary dirty thing and then every like show some titties on tv who cares it's not gonna you know it's not gonna send society crashing down and burning. I think people are worried about people going nutty. They're worried about people not doing their share, not doing work, not helping build up society. And they think that one of the ways to make sure and ensure that society keeps moving at a good pace is to control the sex. What? Why? Control the freak animal instinct in people.

Control the violence and control the sex. Because those are the things that you're most terrified about. When the barbarians storm the gates, you're not worried that they're going to fucking take your basketball. No, they're worried you're going to fuck your women and take your money. What? Oh. I don't get it. Control.

They're trying to control sex and control violence. Those are two things that people try to control when they want to keep society in order. They try to control sex and control violence. Really? I never thought about it that way. Well, it's normal for people to want, like, oh, look at these sluts and these whores. I'm going to want a strip club near me. You have a whorehouse in your town?

What? There's a natural inclination. Why do you care if you're not fucking these whores? Why do you care? Well, because you don't want people near you that are fucking these whores. You don't want people in your neighborhood that want to fuck these whores. And why do you care? Well, because you don't want people near you that are fucking these whores. You don't want people in your neighborhood that want to fuck these whores. Yeah, but it's happening, right? Yeah, but it's a natural

inclination for people to try to shy away from the most frightening of our instincts. Our desire to want to fuck and our desire to want to kill. Right? I guess so. I guess you're right. I never really considered it. Society for a young man like you is like, you know, might as well be Vegas all day.

But for society to work, in order for people to show up at the Wonder Bread factory, in order for society to move and cars to get made. You can't be giving out hand jobs at Starbucks. I get what you're saying. Okay. Yeah, when you look at countries that are more liberal, I wonder what their output is, their gross domestic output or how well it works. What do you mean?

In Japan, that's just like, yeah, you go to Starbucks, get handy almost. Really? Yeah, it's like the society has accepted. In the sports pages, there's naked chicks. Whatever. Really? Yeah. So you can go and just get service somewhere in

japan yeah if you're japanese yeah i think you can just there's no soap land places yeah you can go get jacked up and it's like normal like the guys talk about it yeah any any massage parlor yeah no but here it's so demonized like they're like ah yeah sometimes dudes do that in sydney brothels are legal and they're um about it are they as productive you say the japanese are more productive than Americans? Hell yeah, man. And yet they can still get jerked off places. So that throws my theory to the toilet.

Yeah, it totally crushes your theory. That's why I was thinking, what are you talking about? In order to be creative? Nah, man. I think it's just societal. It's societal pressures. Completely? Yeah.

It might be, but why does Japan really love America? Why do so many Japanese, well, a lot of Americans really love Japan as well. I don't know that they do. It would take a lot of their music. Yeah, it's not, dude. There's a lot of people that really get into American music over there. That's because their music sucks so bad. Is that what it is?

Yeah. I mean, if you look at any country, like most countries' music, it's not as good as the united states i disagree dude yeah japan has japan yeah you don't know what you're talking about i just i just talked to somebody the other day that that went to japan probably like 10 times and that's what they were telling me this that's why i brought it up every time they go there i know i've been always american music or their version of it no dude i'm saying if there's okay so your country okay is pretty badass and makes good music and whatever. But then another country whose budget is way fucking bigger and they got crazier acts and whatever and crazier video effects. Of course you're going to watch some of that.

You're not going to totally be, fuck America. What I was actually trying to get at, the reason why I was saying it, is because I was wondering what effect their discipline and the fact that they can get laid and just get service. I wonder what that has effect on their creativity, like the art they produce, the music that they make. And I was like, well, why do they like American music so much? What is their music like? Do they have really good music in Japan? Is Japan like a dope-ass rock and roll scene? Is that J-pop style?

Yeah, J-pop style j-pop there's something like yeah there's different styles of music like uh pop music you know but name one japanese artist right now name one that you know i know i know but you asked them name one american artist they know 50 that's what i'm saying they don't because we're the dominant culture in the world they're a small island yeah they're small island they're not yeah but you shouldn't be able to know one. Oh, my God. Because you don't listen to Japanese music, you don't understand the Japanese language.

That's what I'm saying. Yoshihiro Akiyama. So far different. That's why they... I know one singer. Akiyama? Akiyama is a singer. He's the best.

Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know, though. It's also a different language. I mean, we're not really interested in... And everybody in Japan speaks English a little bit. Really? Everybody speaks a little bit of English. Everyone in Japan?

Just about. Wow. A lot of people won't do it because they feel embarrassed about it, but everyone learns it in school to an extent. Well, maybe Japan, because it's not trying to take over the world anymore, maybe they've spent more time sort of evolving as a culture and just progressing business-wise and discipline-wise. How do I agree with that? No, but I think for years and years, it's been just like that.

And people are very disciplined. It's been like that. There's been a culture. It's in their culture. I probably respect that whole geisha thing. Yeah, geisha before that even. And people had a normal, that was their thing. Oh, I got a concubine.

What's up? That whole society is based on conforming. Everyone dresses in the same black suits. They do the same things. They follow the same path. Stepping outside is really frowned upon. Yeah, really frowned upon. You've got to be part of the team.

Like the team is smart. Here's the rules. Do the rules. Isn't that fascinating? Yeah, it's fascinating. I think it's great. I think people could adapt some of those cultural things from Japan and bring it here to America.

Is that possible? No, it's very difficult. It's been in bread over generations and generations. Yeah. Now, how do you think they wound up doing that? That's what I've always been fascinated by. What do you mean? It was such a small amount of area and so many people living in it.

So they had to be more disciplined? Yeah, eventually you got that way. You became that way. Like, because, you know, you do the right, even at McDonald's, man, like, they do the right job because that's the right thing to do. Don't get me wrong. There's stupid people there. They can't help it, they're dumb,

but they try to do their job as best they can. And I feel like we can bring that to America. Just do your job as best you can, whatever your job is. Do it awesome. Just try your hardest. And I mean, really, that's what you're trying to do. That's what you should be trying to do.

But I think in America, people are like, everyone owes me something. You know what I mean? Like, I should get paid more. No, you shouldn't. You should just work. You should just do what you have to do and do it awesome because it's your job. Jason Mayhem Miller, corporate employer.

I'm just saying. This is a pep speech of the week, boys. That's right. You took away your life insurance, but I've got words of wisdom. Right? You should just fucking work hard. If you've got to do it, do it hard. Do it as best you can. I think you've got to go way further back.

Look at Gun, Germs, and Steel. We talk about this book all the time. It's the best book ever. Yeah, how just moving, what geographic resources did you have, and how did that affect how your culture develops? And the Maori people are the best. In New Zealand, they fought all the time because they had lots of resources. You could afford to have a priest, a teacher, just a home, whatever.

As soon as a group of those Maori people moved to an island 400 miles south, everyone had to spend all day gathering food. They had to work together and you couldn't fight. So they turned almost like this into a peaceful culture sure enough several hundred years later the maori come they find them what do they do kill all they're like the same people they're basically cousins they're the same people but where the island they went to had very few resources they had to spend all day gathering food to eat they lost i have a bunch of food in my house and i can listen to him be a priest and

i can go to a dot we can have special we can have and I can listen to him be a priest and I can go to a doctor. We can have warriors. We can have teachers. All these specializations. Yeah. Change a society based on natural resources. Or are there large grains that you could make? Did you have domesticated animals? Look at all that stuff started in a few regions.

Go try to domesticate a giraffe. I'm going to love that. Do it with a goat. I got a lasso that big. Then all of a sudden with those animals, you can live near them, so your diseases, your immune system grows stronger. You can make food. You have surplus food.

Wait, you've never read this book? I haven't read it yet. Well, it's the best book ever, man. I keep hearing. I haven't read it yet. It's been recommended to me like 20 times. Blow your mind, bro. All right, I'm going to get it on Amazon right now.

All right, good, good. So I don't remember the whole japanese part of it that'd be interesting i watched uh ancient aliens the other night where they were trying to say that japanese samurai swords they were talked to them by aliens awesome no one could have figured out a way to make this steel like this they were talking about japanese developed the ability to fucking fold so that's all i want is a samurai suit given to me by a freaking alien, dude. I'd be stoked if it was glow-in-the-dark.

I like what 4chan's been doing with him. They've been having huge photo threads of the guy from Ancient Aliens. Like his hair and stuff. And they're just making him all these different characters. It's so fucking funny. I love memes. 4chan funny i want to get on

4chan i always hear about it i never go on it fun just don't tell anybody do it from starbucks buy now with one click son bam i bought a gun germs and steel i'll try to read it in the next time you're on the podcast again i'll bring that shit are you buying it for your hardback yeah it's gonna be work you know what actually the first half that book is pretty like boom boom boom boom boom then it gets to be like work like the second yeah the second half of it you start to be like oh shit like i gotta read this back again like what you know it gets a little complicated but man overall like i'm so that's one of the books i'm so glad i read it paints a beautiful picture on why did europeans come over to different places the world spread their journey you know columbus stepped out the boat sneezed and a hundred million people died yeah

right why didn't indians get in native americans here get into canoes come to europe infect us with their diseases and shoot us with well there's a lot of people that believe that people came here far earlier than that you know what the olmecs are in uh in mexico and in south america you ever heard of olmecs they don't know who the fuck they are, man. They don't know who they are, but they have African faces. They have African faces, and these things are thousands and thousands of years old. They believe at least 6,000 years old, these fucking structures, which puts them, you know, more. What is that, 4,000? Not even.

Yeah, almost 4,000 B.C. So they don't know who the fuck these people were. They came from Africa. They have African faces and these big carved stones, gigantic, massive ones of these faces. They don't have a language attributed to these people. They don't know anything about the culture. Sorry. Just what a mystery.

So it's very likely that people were traveling from South America. How many years ago? South America to Egypt, in fact, because they found cocaine in mummies. And they know that cocaine can only be grown in South America, in South American climate. That's the whole Mormon faith's belief, though, right? No. The Mormon faith believes that the lost tribe of Israel came across the Bering Strait, and they became the American Indians.

Oh, okay. I thought they went South America first. They believe, well, maybe. I don't know. They think. That's how it was described to me by a Mormon, is that somehow, somewhere in the Middle East, they came to South America first and populated the Americas from South America. I haven't heard that one.

I thought what I heard, maybe there's another group that believes that. But what's really funny is one guy actually went and got genetic testing because he was a devout Mormon and he really truly believed in it. So he went out and got the American Indians tested because he wanted to prove that they were Israeli. They were the lost tribes of Israel. But they were from Siberia.

They were from the Bering Strait They came from another country They were Indian You don't need a damn test Look at a freaking Eskimo Look at an Eskimo And look at a Chinese person Yeah

You're like There's got to be some damn connection Yeah, Russians look so much like American Indians It's easy Yeah, it's easy Well, those people It's really amazing when you stop and think about it When you look at like how eskimos have lived you know up until like really recently i mean they still sort of follow the same sort of lives that they would have to have

followed hundreds and hundreds of years ago to stay alive you know they still wear skins you know they still they they hunt seals you know it's it's kind of a amazing shit that they're still able to eke out a life in a world where you would be terrified to live could you imagine if we had to go and we had to move to like northern alaska and and live forever with the eskimos like whoa that's a that's a trippy life dude at this point in your life i would try my best question good question i would try my best i'll be like fucking dude Let's get out there. Let's do some ice fishing.

That would be my first thought. Get some hooks, bro. I want to get some furry boots, too. Furry boots is where it's at this season. The real issue would be that you'd have no choice and that you would probably have to be working so hard

just to stay alive that that's where you must get all of your enjoyment from fucking hunting and gathering. You don't have no time for no hobbies anymore, dude. If you're living up there and you're just trying to bash seals over the head every day and eat them. I would do that for sure. Yeah, I think you would.

You would adapt just like any movie, like that Tom Hanks movie where he fucking shot a rat. Yeah, right? That's crazy. You would adapt, but you wouldn't enjoy it. What are you talking about? This podcast life where you sit around, smoke joints, drink coconut juice. Thank you to CTO because they sent me some coconut juice. It's delicious. It's delicious.

No, I mean, come on, Joe Rogan. It's super healthy for you, right, Brian Parsons? Yeah, it is, right? Isn't it? You're the health master. I don't know about that, but yeah, it's great. Do you still sell that Lightforce stuff? I do.

Lifeforce, right? Not Lightforce. L-I-G-H-T. L-I-G-H-T. And then L-I-F-E is the Randy Couture version? I don't think that exists anymore, but I'm not sure. I think he has a different one. Where do they get that Lightforce shit?

That stuff's good. Lightforcegreens.com. Everybody was drinking that shit for a while. I'm drinking it. I always drink it with my protein shake. It gives it like a little minty flair to it. Yeah, that's what I do to it, too. I also buy some. There's a green superfood thing. Powdered shit. I always drink it with my protein shake. It gives it like a little minty flair to it. Yeah, that's what I do to it too. I also buy some, there's a green superfood thing.

Powdered shit, I always put it in there. But I don't know how much that really helps. It doesn't ever seem to help as much as the Vitamix when you're really blending up like raw kale. Nothing will beat a fresh juicer of Vitamix juice. Yeah. But having that powder is damn convenient. It's good to travel with. It's like an extra little boost.

Do you always feed your guys? Make sure your guys eat red meat? Or do your guys eat chicken and fish? Do you stop them from eating red meat? What's your thoughts on red meat? You know what? Diet to me, I've spent so much time on it. And it's a subject that's really interesting and it's super boring at the same time.

Because in 30 seconds, you can learn 95% of everything you need to know. And then you can argue about the rest. So I think less red meat is probably better. I got an idea. I think you're supposed to eat things that are hard to catch. I think that's why fish is really good for you, and that's why deer is really good for you, and elk is really good for you because they're out there running and trying to get away. But wild meat is so different than anything farm-based.

Super good for you. Flies are good for you. Super good for you. That's what I'm saying. Essential fatty acid profiles are totally different. Fat profile. Everything's different. I only eat chickens that fight back. That's it. Those big fat plump ones with the juicy breasts.

Their breasts are so big they fall forward and fucking face plant everywhere they go. You ever seen those? Those are American chickens, Jack. That's crazy, man. And they get there real quick. Yeah. You know they're trying to take a chicken?

There's ideas of shaking a chicken and turning it into a dinosaur. They believe that they can actually do some Jurassic Park shit. That's a good idea. What the hell are we waiting for?

I want to see this. Let's put them all on an island. This chicken-saurus rex? I want to see it. Jurassic Park was a badass fucking movie. Wasn't it? That movie made me like Man I hope they do this soon

Dude when that fucking kid Is in the car And the water starts moving Come on Classic I used to do a little What's that? And you see that fucking thing

Welcome Jurassic Park Holy shit Now Joe Rogan is scared Of animals that don't exist Like damn Terrified Terrified of Animals That may exist in the future.

How about that? I hope that does. Ghost animals. You wouldn't go to Jurassic Park with me. Thinking about new predators. Would you go? Joe Rogan. Would I go to Jurassic Park?

If there's a real Jurassic Park, would you go? Is there a T-Rex? Yes. No, I'm not going. What? Come on, bro. What if one day it breaks loose? You got to see a T-Rex.

A T-Rex, man. I saw a T-Rex on the Jurassic Park movie. I did loose? You got to see a T-Rex. A T-Rex, man. I saw a T-Rex on the Jurassic Park movie. The movie I saw a T-Rex. I got a big screen TV, man. This shit was legit. High definition. 1080p. We got to wrap this bitch up because we're running out of tape.

Otherwise, we won't be able to process it on iTunes. But this was a long and storied discussion. It was. You guys are awesome. Thank you, Dr. Parsons, for coming by. Thanks, Dr. Parsons. By the way, Joe Rogan is the best neck cracker

in the history of neck cracking. Wow. Cracked the shit out of some necks. He's an awesome chiropractor as well. And, of course, the Joe Rogan trainer. What do you guys call yourselves? You're the best.

What do you guys call yourselves? We don't have a name. Reality show duo. No name? We need to have a name, man. We need to come up with a name. A name for the Ryan Parsons team. The Ryan Parsons posse. Isn't there a name. A name for the Ryan Parsons team. The Ryan Parsons posse.

Isn't there a band, the Ryan Parsons Project? I think so. Alan Parsons. Alan Parsons. Of course he knows. That's your cousin's son. This weekend, I'm in Washington, D.C. at the Warner Center, 930, this Friday night. And that's with Ari Shafir.

And then on October 7th, we're in Houston, Texas at the Verizon Wireless Center. And that's with Brennan Walsh and Joey Diaz. And that should be fun as fuck, you goddamn fucking freaks. For what we talked about earlier, AlphaBrain, if you're interested, go to Onnit.com. And if you enter in the code name Rogan, you will get 10% off. And thank you to the Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast as well and then if you go to joe rogan.net and click on the link for the fleshlight and enter in the code name rogan you get 15 off so i'm saving you money while i'm straightening out your brain and

sharpening up your loads whoever thought your last name would be a coupon code growing up. Crazy, bro. Shit is crazy. Makes sense to me. Subscribe to the Death Squad on iTunes. It's Brian's podcast network that he's got going on. He's got John Reap and John Heffron are on it. He's got Tom Segura on it, Sam Tripoli, a bunch of good

comics, and it's all free, of course. And that's it, right? So we're probably going to be back tomorrow, but I don't know. I have to find out what time it's all free of course and um that's it right so we're probably going to be back tomorrow but i don't know i have to find out what time to work till but that's it for now uh thank you everybody thank you ryan thank you mayhem thank you all the people out in cyberland and remember i love you bitches Thank you.